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crazyk-imagine · 10 months

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Life of the Party

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!reader

Characters: Sirius Black, Fem!reader, James Potter, Lily Potter nee Evans, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows, Nymphadora Tonks (briefly mentioned), Harry Potter (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, this is random, during the first war, has bits of the sceond war involved, this probably doesn't track with the timeline, but certainly kept me entertained, not all information is accurate but that's to be expected, I had no idea where this was going, the last line makes me cry on the inside

Word Count: 2,601

A/N: Was I watching "Only Murders in the building" while writing this, giving it the murder mystery vibe, I feel it has? Maybe. No regrets though.

James took his time proposing

Voldemort slowly started getting stronger and then Peter joined him.

There are no known reactions to the bloodroot poison... I made up my own, hence the murder mystery vibe.

This is partially inspired by "Life of the Party" by Shawn Mendes

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“I’m telling you to take your shot, it might be scary.” You shrug, "maybe she's ready for you two to take the next step." You're just hoping that if you push him a little more, they can be even happier.

And maybe, James can finally shut up about wanting to have the same last name, whatever comes first.

James nods, taking in every word you’re saying.

“We don’t have the time to be sorry," you tell him.

The faint whispers of evil lurking around every corner are slowly becoming louder in your mind.

You hold your breath for a second.

“She’s right,” Marlene shrugs.

Dorcas shakes her head, not liking it when the two of you agree with one another.

The blonde shares a look with the girl closest to her. “Why doesn’t he just man up and ask her?”

The dark-haired woman shrugs, “I don’t know. You’re asking the wrong person.”

Sirius leans against you with his arm wrapped around your shoulder, "am I hearing that Prongs is going to be an idiot again? Still don't know how to pop the question, do you?"

James rolls his eyes. "Thank you," he says to you before running off. "Look at that, we're alone now."

“Are we invisible to you, you dolt?” Dorcas grabs Marlene’s wrist and hauls her out of your home.

“I think he's going to do it now.”

“He’s not.”

“You want to bet?”

The blonde nods, “I do. Ten pounds.”

“And a butter beer.”

Marlene scowls, “fine.”

They shake hands.

“You’re on.”

He sneaks around your home, making sure no one can see him. You shake your head. "Nice try, Sirius."

"What?" He pouts, following you after you brush him away from you.

"Don't push me away. I know you love me." He flutters his lashes as if that will further prove his case.

"I would love some peace and quiet. Besides, shouldn't you be checking on Remus right now? It's almost his time."

He sighs, "yeah. I just... wanted to see you before."

"Well, you did and now it's time to say goodbye."

"Fine, fine," he lets out a deep sigh, as if you've done something to him. "Promise me one thing?"

You stare into his eyes.

“You’ll tell me if you’ve been seeing things when I get back.”

You nod, gulping because you know what’s going to happen before then.

The corner of his lips curls upwards, thinking about being alone with you and hopefully asking you something he should have had a long time ago. "I'll be off now, little miss “life of the party”. I'll see you later?"

You rest your hands against the counter, preventing yourself from falling. You nod, "of course, Pads."

He smirks, shaking his head to rid him of his thoughts although he’s always fond when you call him by his nickname. "Alright, I'm off."

"Bye," you whisper, listening to his motorbike get farther from your home. You groan, raising one hand to your head. It's worse.

'The whispers get louder when the ticking stops.'

You want to forget it, but you can't.

His screams haunt you; you can't see his face, you don’t know who it is but it's more than enough to ruin your sleep, invading your mind at the most inconvenient times.

Your family's large grandfather clock chimes.

Nothing's going to work now, you know it. You don't know why you’re going in here but it’s the one place you believe to be in your best interest to reside in during this time.

You grab your wand from your boot and wave it.

The bookshelf moves out of the way.

A heavy breath escapes you.

No one but you know of your meek at home potions room. It's better this way, none of them will ask any questions or throw themselves into research.

By the time your clock chimes again, James and Lily will be the next future couple followed by a sweet little baby boy who will help carry on their family line.

Remus will be trying to finish his potion for the upcoming full moon.

Sirius will be the last of his siblings but not of his family's pureblood status.

And Peter-

“Come out tonight. Come out tonight,” you mutter, closing your eyes for a moment, waiting. "You found me."

"I never wanted this to happen."

"If you didn't want it to happen, you wouldn't have joined him. You wouldn’t have cowered into his grasp because you think he’s getting stronger."

"I- I'm sorry."

"Are you? Because I think you don’t have the time to be sorry. Or are you just saying that because of the bloodroot poison you put in my drink last week?"

Peter pauses in the doorway. "When did you know?"

"It's obvious when somethings not right with your body and you're stupid to think I wouldn't notice."

"You really want to fight with the person who could kill you?"

"You already have."

"It wasn't my choice."

"You didn't know whether you should have stayed on this side and when they found you, you chose to put that damned mark on your arm. You made a decision long ago. I'm just," you hold your breath, finding it hard to take a simple breath now. "Wondering what made you change?"

"Nothing," he mumbles.

"That's such a lie and you know it!"

His head snaps in your direction. "Everyone made me this way!"

You struggle to gulp down the saliva that filled your mouth.

"I was tired of being the joke of it all," he sniffs.

You don't know whether to feel bad for him or help him.

"I wanted the jokes to stop. I thought they would when we grew up, but they barely did."

"What jokes?" You whisper, now losing your voice.

"It doesn't matter now, what's done is done."

"Soon to be done. You're here to report to him that I'm dead, right?"

"N- no."

"You're distracting me, waiting until the end."

"Stop it."

"I hope you feel better."

"Better?"

"Thinking you chose the right side-" You take a step closer towards the table, your hand reaching out for it until you lose your balance and begin tumbling forward.

Peter reaches for you and holds you.

This is the last time he'll ever see you. And it hits him, what he's done to his friend.

There are no changing things now.

He adjusts you, cradling you in his arms as he sits behind you; the way a friend should comfort another one in need.

"Are you happy?"

He glances at you from the corner of his eye, staring at your side profile. "What?"

There's no more fight left in you and there's one thing you want someone to know, your last fighting words were something that will haunt your murderer. "Knowing you chose the wrong side."

"I-"

You close your eyes, not wanting your last sight to be of the secret you kept from your friends.

The grandfather clocks chimes once more and the whispers of his mind fill the silence.

Peter throws his head back, tears trickling down the sides of his face.

Nothing will ever be the same and no one will ever know what he's done.

Not until the end of the first war.

He carefully moves away from you and places you against the desk making it look as if you were sitting against the desk when you pass.

He kept it quiet of how you passed until the night he purposefully let Sirius take the blame for everything.

No one was able to truly move on after, most of all he and-

“She called herself the “life of the party” forever making a fool of herself,” he chuckles to himself.

"Pads, are you telling Harry the same story?"

The man in question turned around with his precious godson bundled in his arms. "No."

"Why lie when we all know it, Sirius?" Lily asks, holding her son's bottle as she tries to take the boy from him. "It's time for his bottle, Sirius."

"I can do it."

"No."

"Come on," he whines, with his bottom lip quivering.

It takes her back to every time when he would beg for your attention. She purses her lips, adjusting Harry in her arms. "It's almost nap time."

"Fine. James, sleep fort?"

"Of course, how else does one take a nap?"

She shakes her head at the two, knowing you would have something to say about it. "James."

"Coming, dear."

"I'll be here while you go help the man of the house."

"Hey."

Sirius raises his arms, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."

He's left alone with his thoughts, something that's become more dangerous than before.

He thinks back to the story he was telling his godson, which was the night before your guys' seventh year when you decided to do some digging and found the bottle of fire whisky he had hidden, saving for a special occasion and ended up giving yourself a nickname.

You were so, so... drunk.

You smile and raise your hands, not at all careful to hide the bottle of fire whiskey. “It's time to be the life of the party.”

Everyone was confused as to why you did this, why you’d lost yourself.

"Someone needs to get her down from that table before she trips and breaks something," Lily hisses.

"We can use magic to heal her."

"Now is not the time to sass me, Sirius."

"Uh- nope, that one was me," Remus raises his hands.

"Someone please, help me get her down."

The three boys take a step forward at the same time.

"Come on, darling. It's time to come down."

You pout, holding the bottle close to your chest. "I don't wanna."

James snorts. "Can it, Prongs."

"I didn't say anything, Padfoot."

"Boys, please. Let's just get close to the table and then Pads can try and ease her down while we help?" The werewolf adds.

"Siri, come up and join me."

"Join you?"

"Become the life of the party with me."

“Sweetheart, I already am.” He holds his hand out for you to take. “Come and party with me down here.”

“No,” you tell him.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Prongs, Moony,” he jerks his head to the side. “Over here.”

They follow, leaving the red head to deal with you.

“Alright, boys. Moons, you grab the bottle while Prongs my boy,” he smacks the bespectacled boy’s shoulder. “You distract, pull her in with that odd charm that drew your rosy, red head in.”

“I feel like I should be offended.”

Sirius raises a brow, “are you?”

“No.”

“Then you’re fine. Ready boys. On three.”

“Please don’t try to use sports analogies,” Remus interrupts.

“Rude.”

“Hey,” James calls out for you. “Look at me.”

This gives Remus enough time to remove the bottle from your hands and for Sirius to pull you down.

“What made you want to get up on a table?” He asked, holding you in his arms.

“I wanted to get away.”

He glances up, knowing you probably don’t want the others to hear. “Get away from what?”

“The images in my mind.”

“Do you-”

“She needs to have something other than that damned whiskey in her system. Bring her over to the couch,” Lily tells him.

He never knew what you saw before that night and didn’t ask when you didn’t remember anything that happened.

This was one of the first few sights that haunted his mind, followed by his best friend and his wife a year after.

That’s why when he saw you for the first time, he was going through so many emotions.

His voice calling out to you wasn’t out of the norm but seeing him when you turned around after the light taps on your shoulder was certainly a surprise.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Sirius?”

He throws himself forward, almost squeezing you with his might. “It’s been too long, darling.”

Your hands shake as you fist handfuls of his shirt tightly, wrinkling his shirt in the process. “I- you,” you push him back. “You shouldn’t be here. You- you- Sirius you can’t be here,” you whisper.

“You shouldn’t be either but here we are. Just focus on this.” He cups your cheek.

“What?”

His thumb brushes across your cheek. “We’re together again.”

“You should be out there, living your life and- and teaching Harry so much more.”

“I am right where I need to be.” He smiles at you, staring into your eyes. “I’m back with you.”

You gulp, “you’re still an idiot.”

“No, I’m Sirius.”

You shake your head and pull him in for another hug… until an echoing voice causes you to furrow your brows.

“Pads! Pads!”

“Oh no,” you mumble.

“What?”

“Pads turn your stupid head around.”

“Who’s calling me stupid?”

You’re happy you let go of him when you did otherwise, you’d be on the ground with the two idiots you find yourself lucky enough to call friends.

“I didn’t want to interrupt the two of you.”

“I know,” you assure Lily. “It’s okay. I’m just happy to see you guys again.”

She wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. “Me too.”

“Don’t forget about us,” Marlene calls out.

You two spin around, finding her and Dorcas running towards you guys.

“Took him long enough.”

“Marlene,” you hiss.

“What? I can’t pretend like you haven’t been depressed since that night. Everyone missed you and then when the first war came and we came here, you were so relieved that he wasn’t here but longing for him to come to you and you know it. You can’t hide it.”

You roll your eyes.

“So, you did miss me?” He says, staring up at you with a stargazed look in his eyes.

You turn away, avoiding his gaze. “No.”

“Someone’s lying, and it isn’t Sirius,” he says, attempting to egg you on.

“Come on, girls.”

“Wait- no.” He chases after you.

All of you stop, staring around the cemetery.

“What do we do now?”

“We wander around in true spirit fashion.”

“I vote we leave James behind,” you say, raising your hand.

“I second that vote,” Lily and Marlene add.

“Lily pad,” James gasps.

“Dorcas, come on. Don’t do this to me.”

“I’m with the side that doesn’t whine and complain.”

“But I’m nothing without whining and complaining. I was the only male here till Pads decided to join us.”

“I can see why they didn’t want you around.”

“Pads! I’m offended now!”

“Oh, well.” Sirius shrugs.

“You two haven’t changed a bit,” you comment. “It’s nice. I’ve missed seeing all of us being like this.”

“Like what?” Lily asks.

“Being young, not worried about a war coming our way.”

“I think we can all agree on that.”

“Did you all hear Moons has begun to pursue Tonks?” Sirius says.

“No."

"No way.”

You lead the others towards Diagon’s Alley, feeling a butter beer kind of night is something you all need.

“Don’t give her any fire whiskey. Otherwise, her “life of the party” personality will come out.” Marlene teases.

“That was one time,” you defend yourself.

“Lies,” Dorcas says, coughing into her hand.

“You all suck.” You pout.

Sirius leans in, “how’s it feel?”

“Don’t be like that, Sirius.”

“What? So, Sirius? I can’t, that’s who I am.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

You stare into his eyes. ‘I missed you more than anything, Siri.’

“I do.”

His smile widens, “I knew it.”

You close your eyes, wanting this to fill the blocks you made in your memory.

Everyone needs a little happy scene they can think back to.

Taglist

@twinkletwinklenotastar

#harry potter #mauraders #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter fanfi #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius orion black #sirius black imagines #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #crazyk-imagine

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just-an-enby-lemon · 1 month

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I had a very messy fic idea (that I won't write but would love to read) about Gary Goldstein slowly realizing his love affair might bot actually be a romantic tale of forbidden love but a horror story.

It starts normal.

He meets Gerald at the line of a suitty coffe shop because the local Starbucks was closed due to some "special refforms" whatever that meant. Clients tend to try to talk to him after meeting. But that's Gerald Monroe and Gary is sleeping with his wife (and has a lot of negative opinions on the man some born from jealousy, some born by how hard it was to clean up the Cinnabon Incident) except Gerald doesn't know any of that and he goes for a chit chat.

He doesn't seem suspicous of the affair and Garry has no idea how to get out of that particular conversation. They talk. Gerald sounds deeply amused, as if they are sharing an inside joke. Instead Garry notices a possible bloodstain in Gerald's cuffilink and a bruise in his neck. Gerald follows his eyes and smiles in a weirdly found way "Ah, you know how Lind is."

It doesn't particularly makes sense.

He remembers not long ago, he was in bed with Linda and it was all soo soft and Linda casually said Gerald liked to play rough. He remembers being conflicted over thinking Gerald was a demanding asshole and terrifield that maybe Linda was saying she prefered it. He asked if she wanted him to slap her a bit on the bedroom or something, she laughed.

Thinking on it, he decides she ment Gerald likes to be slaped on the bedroom. He considers asking for the same. He doesn't.

So the thing is, that by itself would not be a missed red flag. Nor the fact that he kept finding Gerald and Gerald kept acting as if they were friends and looking at him as if it was funny.

But all that is easy to miss.

The thing he should've noticed is in Linda.

The secret third reason he hates Gerald is that he thinks Gerald might be a shitty husband, after all Linda makes the exact same joke about how she would have to kill Gerald if she ever wanted to leave him. It goes like this, Garry will try to suggest she leaves her husband, will talk about how he can use his expertise as a lawyer to protect her and the boys and she will go "don't be silly, who will help hide the bodies?".

It's funny. How he never notices the plural.

It goes like this, Linda is beutifull and they've been together but not really together for two years now. He thinks he loves her.

It goes like this, he is feeling way too bold and he says something he shouldn't have when talking to Gerald. And he knows that Gerald isn't that stupid. But he keeps acting as if they are just two friends talking.

It goes like this the kids are busy with afterschool activities and Gerald is in a work trip (or whatever excuse he has to avoid his wife, Gary jealousy says). Except Gerald comes home early and he doesn't catch them in the act - Garry was just leaving - but he isn't dumb.

It goes like this, Gerald offers to take Garry's home. Linda appears to think is funny that Gerald would be this ingenous. Garry thinks he is going to die. The trip is quiet and horrifying except when they are already at Garry's streat Gerald starts laughting and Garry is sure it will be the last thing he'll ever hear. Except Gerald offers him money to lie to Linda about how her husband made a fool of himself in the trip, says he married her for "all the ploting" and that while he could just tell her he doesn't care and open the marriage she gets too happy over hiding her lovers and being sneaky and he won't take that from her. This time Garry's mind focuses on the plural.

He always though he was the only one.

Investigating the plural of lovers though gets very different results, instead he discovers the plural of bodies. And that apperently Linda Monroe, the love of his life, is more evil than he ever though and Gerald Monroe is very ihto it.

The thing is being evil for Linda isn't really a problem. He doesn't think he will enjoy it like Gerald does and he certainly won't enjoy being the ocasional target of it. But he can deal with it. The thing is: will he be another acomplice or one of the bodies? Surviving is a struggle but no more than the realization he will have to share his future life as a minion with Gerald.

#found it in the drafts #wrote it after honey queen #and since working boys is giving me thinking about them (and hidgens but hidgens is sad) vibes #gerald monroe #linda monroe #gary goldstein #starkid #hatchetverse

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summersmithlatinxgyatt · 2 days

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THIS THEORY IS OUT ON @the-rick-parasite-theory-archive

PART 2 OF MY RICK META-PARASITE THEORY IS OUT AND IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW THERE THEN FOLLOW AND SKIP THIS POST wait actually don't do that please read my 8.4k word theory that took like. Over a month to write just follow that blog for similar content :'(

Recap + Corrections

Welcome to part 2 of the Rick Meta-Parasite Theory. This is the follow-up to the greatest Rick and Morty theory. Last time, we established that Rick was a meta-fictional parasite that came from outside of the canon to take the place of Rick Prime. There was a bunch of proof for this and it retroactively changes the entire narrative of the series in a consistent way. This new part is also going to be based off the first one, so go read that and gas it up with reblogssssss 🔥

This new part is going to be broken into several distinct parts because there’s more proof and confirmation for this theory through specific segments. Let’s start out with some clarifications:

I throw around the phrase ‘parasite’ a lot. To clarify what a parasite actually IS, it’s an entity that can attack the mind and the memories of a person to enter the narrative of the Rick and Morty series. Nearly all of them are meta-fictional as well.

I called Evil Morty a ‘counter-parasite’, which isn’t exactly true. He is simply another parasite. In the moment, I meant that he can attack other parasites. However, they ALL do this. The grander narrative of this theory is just parasites fighting one another to get to their host, Rick Prime. It’s survival of the fittest and by calling Evil Morty a ‘counter’ to parasites, I made it sound like he was made for this or is some antithesis when my proof was to show he was falling in line with the motifs of parasites I set up. This includes how Evil Morty had access to technology targeting a Rick’s mind and body, so he’s just a flat-out parasite.

As if it wasn’t mentioned before or obvious enough - Yes, C-137 is the child of Doc and Mharti. And he went after Rick Prime because he resembles his ‘dad’, Doc. I just didn’t say it because it’s a gross idea that still somehow works because the idea is that he is leeching off himself

There’s more proof of a shared parasite family tree as well. I pointed out that the Federation is made up of aliens who built memory devices to enter Rick’s mind. But the one Gromflomite agent they send in has a physical reaction to nearing Rick’s backstory and realized he was honing in on it. This means that genetically, they would be able to detect memories and use this to create these kinds of devices. If this is a sense they naturally have, they’re just building off it. The best way to explain this would be to think of it as how we’ve built telescopes to amplify our sense of sight. These Gromflomites are doing the exact same with their innate sense of memory/origin tracking. Although the memory parasites from Total Rickall may not be the original root of this species or its larval stage, they are for sure related and all intertwined in some way. I ended up realizing that making a family tree for this was incredibly hard and probably not worth the effort for this theory, even though I kept promising it. If I eventually find way better proof (yes, somehow better than all these long theories), I’ll consider making a family tree for every meta-parasite in ‘The Animal Theory’

In general, I don’t actually read or watch many theories on this show. I know about the classic Season 3 ones, but I’ve stayed in my own world for the past few years. I AM aware of the theory that the Total Rickall parasites came into the house via the ‘Mortynight Run’ rocks Rick collected. There’s a couple extra links I could be including like how Fart can read minds and this could make him a parasite (since he’s also being hunted by a Gromflomite), but the weird detail of this episode being next to Auto-Erotic Assimilation and the implied parasite family tree or evolutionary line is better and has more throughlines of proof. If I did keep this theory in mind, the implications would be way harder to unpack. For example, why is a Gromflomite hunting down something that is related to parasites that I recently tied back to a huge family tree/species of parasites that contain the Gromflomites instead? This theory is already complicated enough - this entire recap and correction section is already lengthy.

This also brings us to the next needed clarification, that being about why parasites even exist at all. This will be a broad breakdown that isn’t needed if you already understood the last theory’s point about parasites hunting Rick:

The Central Finite Curve is in the midst of the ‘actual’ multiverse that has infinite possibilities that aren’t isolated according to Rick’s importance or even lack thereof in reference. This is referred to as the non-canon of the show. Everything outside of it requires beings that are formless or can push through this chaotic multiverse with natural ease. On a meta-fictional level, entities like Previous Leon can do this just fine because he can traverse through any narrative and its narrative archetypes. He’s even seen using his own portals (or what was said to be a hole in the fourth wall).

I also recently learned that Shoney’s is NOT a parody of Denny’s. It’s a real chain that you can actually visit if you are a weird Rick and Morty fan. So this theory will ignore the claims I made about the fear hole being a tunnel through hyper-reality that connects to a real Denny’s, since Shoney’s is JUST AS REAL. However, it will be revised in this theory. I just thought I’d clarify here that it isn’t a parody at all and you guys can also go eat at Shoney’s like Rick. Weirdos.

I won’t be addressing a good amount of existing theories, like the Mortynight Run I mentioned before. I WILL shout-out @rickle-n-mort-enthusiast for some insane proof they found regarding the usage of C-137 as Rick’s assigned dimensionality that builds off my previous proof of C-137 being a false prime code. I’ll also be refusing to mention a LOT of things in this theory solely to keep things shorter and simpler. That means I’ll be removing the portion talking about the Non-Canon Adventures, a portion that tried to scrape together any proof regarding the talking cat that Jerry befriended, any proof regarding Birdperson (outside of a small Phoenixperson mention at the end), any proof regarding the anime, any more leaks, any other theories, any other implications or inspirations outside of Doc and Mharti or Back To The Future, and just anything you might not have seen mentions here. Either way, a lot of that stuff is saved for the inevitable Part 3 once I’m not as burnt-out from writing and editing this 8,000 behemoth.

Random Smaller Proof

I decided to go for ‘That’s Amorte’ because of its food motif and to see if Season 7 can rectify this theory further. Although it doesn’t instantly prove the entire main premise, there’s scattered remnants of this theory. We do see a small amount of memory erasure and tampering going on in this episode. Rick mentions sped-up lifespans and cloning as well, which is going to be important at the end of this theory and for ‘The Animal Theory’ coming out after this. Although you could make the point that people being eaten = parasite theory proof, it’s a little counterintuitive once you break it down further. At the end, no one else wanted to eat the spaghetti after actually seeing the memories of the person whose guts they were eating. Everyone BUT RICK. You can call this proof, but the spaghetti comes from suicide, not memories. As a result, I’ll just keep it here in case anyone was wondering about its inclusion in this theory. It has small bits of proof but the entire EPISODE isn’t supporting much. Surprisingly, an episode that DOES support this theory and even the idea of memories being eaten is ‘The Ricklantis Mix-Up’

Citadel Already Eats Memories

The Citadel knows the power of a Rick’s memories. Specifically, two Ricks have their memories fine-tuned and used as flavoring for a wafer

Simple Rick’s memories linger on a younger Beth and his times with her, kept on a loop

Meanwhile, Rick from dimension J-22 has his memories on a loop, specifically the memory of leaving the harsh working environment of the Simple Rick’s factory

The factory has the technology to loop memories into food. What’s interesting is that this is where the show first mentions the curve by its name, specifically using the term ‘iterations’. This is the official term for what I’ve been calling ‘deviation offsets’. Simple Rick seems to be 16 iterations off the curve. This doesn’t mean he’s literally not listed on the curve. I take it to mean that he’s in the first 16 iterations of a system based on Rick Prime, meaning he’s very close to Prime. And the entire point of this theory is that Rick C-137 is a parasite that feeds on memories and the mind of Prime. And here we have the memories of a Prime-esque Rick LITERALLY BEING EATEN.

Then we have J-22, who tries to take control of the situation and literally takes over his place later on. J-22 is stated to be ‘more Rick’ than any other Rick there. The parallels between the narrative of Prime and C-137 literally don’t stop. It shows that C-137 caused a butterfly effect and caused other Ricks to be based on him. Not in the sense that they follow up his narrative through “What if?” scenarios - rather, they directly follow his footsteps. This also confirms the idea that his narrative is very easy to recreate, what with Slow Mobius’ wife and Summer following his footsteps when they need to hunt down a given Rick or Prime-esque enemy in their life.

And the carry on top of J-22’s demise is that they end up using his memories and mind for a new batch of wafers. Feasting on a Rick’s memories.

I’d also like to draw parallels to how Previous Leon seems to feed on memories quite literally. And this would also explain why Rick is hunted too, not just because he’s any other parasite. The new two reasons are that he’s still the “false prime”, the Rickest Rick. He’s confused as Prime and the hero of this franchise

And two, Rick C-137 is easier to locate. Even though he couldn't hunt down Prime, that very journey is what shaped him. They go for the next best thing

And just one more minor detail - of course it makes sense that honing in on Prime is important. If you could get memories from the edges of the curve, you would stay at the outer edges. Yet we see parasites entering in constantly and hunting down C-137 - meaning it’s closer to the center axis, NOT the edges where the end of the curve and the main multiverse begins.

This shows how a Rick’s memories are fuel in the Citadel, but this acts as support for my previous theory since I said that meta-fictional parasites use C-137’s memories as fuel. The Galactic Federation, Previous Leon, The Self-Referential Six, Evil Morty, the memory parasites in Total Rickall, etc.

‘Rickmancing the Stone’ shows that Rick can transfer memories over into another being to create a parasite. He draws from ‘muscle memory’, saying he’s done this before. He injects it into Morty’s arm, creating a vengeful arm that is drawing from its own memories and acts on its own while using Morty’s body for its own benefits - textbook definition of a parasite.

How Does Evil Rick Exist?

Here’s a question to anyone who read the first part - If the idea of deviation off-sets for the curve are true, then how does Evil Rick exist? Rick C-137 is a parasite from outside of the canon PRETENDING to be a Rick based off the image of Prime. However, there’s still somehow Ricks based on C-137. Evil Rick is explicitly one of them because he HIMSELF mentions he’s a few deviations off Rick C-137, with only one Rick standing between them said to be ‘weird’. So I think a few things can be hypothesized.

I think each dimension pops up in real time based on events. Several series follow this logic, where an event in one universe causes it to branch off into another. After all, the curve explicitly is slightly based on each previous dimension and their outcomes. The reason I view Evil Rick and his dimension as an impossibility is because there is no Rick to be based off. There is merely a parasite pretending to BE Rick Prime, but there’s still some logical consistency.

We later on know that Evil Morty is another entity like Rick C-137. He’s able to breach the mind of Prime easily and shut down his decoys. He managed to get Rick’s backstory - something that I pointed out EVERY meta-parasite is just dying to do and is the secret overarching narrative of this series. And the greatest proof I can give you is the fact that he controls Evil Rick through his brain. He’s able to do all this mind stuff and later on escapes the curve entirely, noting that it’s also not that big of a task for him to take down Prime. Considering that this is a shared goal between C-137 and Evil Morty, that further aligns them both as parasites. But Evil Morty already has another Rick host - HIS Rick. He’s the definition of a host he’s using to anchor himself in more ways than one. I’ve mentioned how the anchoring works to ‘canonize’ these characters, not to mention that it’s being used to infiltrate the curve and the Citadel of Ricks itself.

This seems to be what Evil Rick’s dimension is mirroring regarding C-137. The parasite narrative of a narrative parasite. But why is it Morty this time?

Rick’s arrival into the curve caused another dimension to pop up, affecting the nearby ones into being distorted and causing it so it is fixated on this parasitic arrival. Now, we have Morty as the parasite. It’s as simple as that. That explains how these two exist even though they should’ve been based off a genuine Rick and Morty.

However, it seems that this proof continues further. We have Morty’s Mind Blowers - an episode and schism that shows that Rick consistently erases and alters Morty’s memories. This should be VERY alarming considering that the theory is constantly built on smaller instances of memory-tampering, and here we are with a big one. If anything, I think this is better proof that Evil Rick and Morty are based on the meta-parasite angle of C-137 to the point that I’d almost say it’s canon.

Rick tampers with Morty’s memories often. He’s practically his lab rat. I mentioned earlier that in Rickmancing the Stone, he created a parasitic arm using its memories alone on Morty. He’s also said he’s done it before - he clearly HAS with this type of memory on hand. Evil Morty would go on to experiment on HIS Rick and HIS memories. Evil Rick even eventually gets a hold of Rick’s memories of Morty, showing that Evil Morty has created a host that can do this work FOR him. It’s a consistent staple among these characters I keep deeming as parasites.

I remember I had an offhand comment that implied a sort of ‘hyper-canon’ that involved Denny’s. I understand that it was very strange and may have seemed out of context, but it was actually a crucial piece for the second part of this theory. The idea is that Denny’s is the original higher-layer franchise that had its lower-layer parody be important to the Rick and Morty curve narrative, existing as Shoney’s and its own existing in-universe franchise

As stated before, the entire reason that Rick C-137 was stated to be a non-canon/outside of the canon parasite is because he’s a parody deviation. He was removed from the parody and its source that he became his own thing entirely - or rather, later on modeled himself in the image of another franchise. To be fair, the idea of how Rick C-137 exists in a Rick image when I claimed that Rick Prime was the first ever Rick in this Rick and Morty franchise is just one big chicken-and-egg paradox. But we have better proof of how deviation offsets (as I coined it) work. We have Memory Rick becoming sentient due to the fact that he is a perspective based on a memory of a younger version of Rick.

The Incestual (Meta) Paradox

I’m gonna have to try to keep this one simple by starting with a useful comparison. I mentioned Doc and Mharti, which was the original Rick and Morty. It’s a parody of Back To The Future, and this parody is the groundwork for the entire show and theory as well. On a literal meta level, Rick C-137 is the child of Doc and Mharti as the show developed away from its parodic roots. Back To The Future has a subplot wherein Marty McFly travels back in time and nearly causes his younger mother to fall in love with him. This is a perfect representation of the time paradox that this show has on a meta level as well, ironically enough, which is due to the fact that I do NOT know what came first - Rick C-137 or Rick Prime. This is referring to their designs but also because I don’t know how many universes existed when the two met. 0? 1? 2? A few dozen? All of them?

Rick C-137 being a parasite means that Rick Prime must have come first so he could have someone to target. That is unless we follow the logic of appearances being chronological dictations because again, that’s a more meta timeline. I used it to try to prove that Rick created alternate decoys of his family to get his show on the air and continue being a total meta-parasite, which means that Prime probably didn’t exist at the time and he didn’t have some sort of goal.

By process of elimination though, we can try to see who came first in a less risky way. I know this part seems easy and useless, but it’s because we need to understand WHO defines WHAT.

Seeing as how C-137 as a dimension still is part of the Central Finite Curve while their narrative affects the rest of the Curve, it means that they are ingrained in it and crucial to it. Prime HAS existed there for long, yet C-137 is being replicated as though he’s just another Rick variant. Yes, he’s a parasite and he’s trying to fit in. As you’ll see later, there’s more proof that he even gets caught doing this parasitic fake Rick life. Being the ‘Rickest Rick’ means you can actually slip into the Curve and be manipulated by it, yet he’s not being dragged along. That means we have a ‘Rick layer’ and the actual parasite underneath. He’s forcing it by leaning into it so hard that it should’ve given it away from day one - and it almost did. That’s probably another reason that Rick Prime decided to take everything away from him. The difference between Rick Prime and Rick C-137 is a lot like comparing a diamond formed deep in the earth and one that was artificially cut. While the cut diamond is far more perfect and pushes the idealized beauty of diamonds, it’s very obvious that it was artificial. That is the best way to explain the idea that Rick is a parasite that is trying way too hard to fit in. To everyone else, he’s a flawless diamond that inexplicably formed under pressure when, in reality, it was done to maximize his survival and intelligence to survive while in the Central Finite Curve and continue living as a parasite. I know that this theory takes away from some of his greatest moments of love for those around him…and it does, I won’t lie. The way this works is that Rick knows he’s in a show. He is an actor, in another sense. The character he is playing is based off Rick Prime, while it’s more like he’s an actor who has beef with the character and actor that is Rick Prime. It’s layered, like I said, and on a meta level it’s fitting with how both characters are voiced by one actor.

The paradox is simply that Rick is going after Rick Prime originally due to his…attraction warranting him to do what his…fathers of Doc and Mharti did as well. And since he’s festering within his own cosmology and fighting over a version of himself, it’s a boiling pot that can be metaphorically digested as incestual. It’s just the ��Rick layer’ doing this fight that is paradoxical. THis is all very wordy, but the reason this is all being mentioned is for the end part and far more meta layers.

Rick as a PARASITE is just his normal form.

This parasite was formed from Doc and Mharti, but ended up finding a perfect host to also base themselves off to create the Rick Layer

This Rick Layer is everything else we see that is affected by the Curve. His parasitic conflict changes the curve and other dimensions that aren’t even BASED on him or Prime entirely because it isn’t the Rick Layer doing this. Rick C-137 cannot possibly have his conflict reflected because the Central Finite Curve does not concern itself with two dimensions at once. Rather, it’s because Rick has such a chokehold, like a leech that refuses to let go and drains the blood of the Central Finite Curve all for himself, leaving it weak and basing it off the most popular event going on right now.

The Ads Are Canon

This is still going to be crazy and I need you all to hear me out. I think the ads are important to this theory. Specifically, the fast food commercials they’ve made in collaboration with Rick and Morty. The promotional material for the show seems to exist in its own layer as well, with the Season 1 promo showing Rick was already aware of the difference between a ‘show’ and its promotional material, demonstrating that they had no backside because it was not needed. If Rick cares so much about his show and tracks each season and narrative, I’m 100% convinced that he created these promotional selves to be sentient and help get the show on air. He has meta technology on hand so this wouldn’t be too hard. I could probably say the same about the Pringle Morties, but things like the sentient Wendy’s food items…why would Rick invent food that wants to kill him that has 0 association with him? This is where the bulk of these theories begin, so strap in.

The Wendy’s ads are surprisingly the main smoking gun of this theory. In one of them, we see them impersonate the family to trick Morty into doing a commercial. Rick literally says they’re using his likeness. Wow. It’s almost like this ENTIRE theory is about Rick C-137 using Prime’s likeness as a parasite to infiltrate his franchise’s reality. So that means these guys are their own parasites outside of reality as well, who have come in to impersonate the family.

One of the commercials shows these sentient food beings also trying to kill Rick and Morty, with Morty sporting a flat blue-lined ax. This weapon looks VERY similar to the one seen in Season 3’s opening, with Morties being trapped in plastic and weapons in their plastic casing. This also reminds me of the fact that we see a Butter Morty in the opening of Season 6 that is acknowledged in the meta episode. This means there’s several food manifestations acknowledged on a meta level. So now, time to get into another connection that’s a little flimsy:

For some reason, there’s a food motif going on with meta levels and memories.

The meta-parasites eat the memories of their hosts or host realities.

The memories of two Ricks similar to C-137 and Prime are used to flavor wafers being sold at the Citadel of Ricks.

When Rick is compromised and his memories are infiltrated by the Gromflomites, he was in a Shoney’s and later visits a McDonald’s before going to his origin story, then all the way back to Shoney’s to reveal they never left to begin with.

The fear hole is located inside a Denny’s

And now we have these sentient food items alongside Butter Morty being noticed and Morty in a commercial also having a reference to one of the season’s openings.

Any other commercials are quite lackluster and I could easily explain them away as being promotional material that pre-Rick Layer Rick is doing. Not ACTUALLY before the events of the show, but I mean the version of Rick that was making those commercials with the Smiths I think are decoys he made to market himself and make sure he’s on air to hunt Prime down. That can explain how the Pringle Morties also work. Summer’s reaction could be that, well…she just saw rampant Pringle Morties come through effortlessly, or that this is the actual Summer here. The real one we see in the show, not some other decoy. Rick’s trust in Summer would explain why he doesn’t hesitate to remove the veil of reality and say it’s just a commercial in a dire moment rather than just a normal occurrence, similar to when he told Morty he’s in a commercial for the show before it aired. It seems that back then, it was more cynical while now, it’s to affirm her that it’s a commercial as a way to hope that it doesn’t go fully haywire. Also, the Pringle Morties still tie into this food motif. Robots can draw from very basic memories (anyone remember how Morty’s decoy in Rickmancing the Stone is eating spaghetti and how the episode shows that muscle memories translate into actual memories and instinct?) as also shown in Fear No Mort with a robot Rick made being scared as to why it has child memories. They are likely running on end with memories of Pringles and are decoys Rick made that are being used. It’s reminiscent of how, in Edge of Tomorty and the theory I made on its fascist dimensions, the back-up bodies from the vats are being monitored and restricted by a higher controlling government. These were taken from Rick just for this commercial and run rampant to promote themselves in an uprising revolt against Rick’s wishes, which wouldn’t be the first time this happens to one of Rick’s inventions after all.

I could make a point about that fear hole again, but that is going to be saved for later. This will be a good transition into the segment about the fear hole, actually.

The Fear Hole Is A Tunnel

This one is another stretch for now, but there’ll be proof to ease you into this. I mentioned that the fear hole stretches across every layer of reality we see because it was using Morty to understand Rick on a fundamental level. It was able to recreate Diane, which is interesting to think about for a moment. Diane doesn’t exist and the only one coming close to recreating her was Prime himself. Keep this in mind because I have more proof that the fear hole knows about the true nature of Diane, which also means that it seemingly transcends time and space. This would be viewing the story from a higher state rather than just being a timeline, as Diane is erased from existence, making it meta-chronological. Obviously, WE THE VIEWERS can still see Diane before and after her erasure. But Morty doesn’t know anything about Diane. It’s more that it is taking Morty’s raw thoughts and allowing them to be shaped with the context of who each character is. That’s also likely why we see background characters from his school pop up at times and even Nancy showing up (i’m not gonna fangirl right now I swear). It’s because it’s drawing from his memories to fill in certain gaps at times. He knows these people way better and uses them as stand-ins while gapped knowledge of other individuals is filled in. That also explains how Rick’s intentions were revealed. Morty didn’t KNOW Rick until the fear hole filled in the details he was unaware of, allowing him to realize that Rick didn’t jump into the hole with him.

After all, we fear what we do not know. The fear hole allows people to get over their fears by explaining them and removing unknown factors, which is a very real way to counter one’s phobias.

Let’s skim over the fact that I managed to finally explain the fear hole because this is JUST the start, kind of like how I managed to explain how the Central Finite Curve works and then explained even more mind blowing stuff. First of all, how does the fear hole know this? How does it actually know every little thing about EVERYONE, not just Rick and Diane? The fear hole appeared in a Denny’s, a location similar to Shoney’s, which has brought comfort to Rick. It’s also a place that he stays in mentally during the events of ‘The Rickshank Rickdemption’. This means it’s using a place similar to Rick’s comfort to slowly ease everyone into this situation. Again, this is reflecting similar methods of unpacking one’s fears. The fear hole is what I refer to as a tunnel. I don’t know if I’d also call it a parasite, even though it seems to display some level of sentience. The man in the suit could be its mind personified, but that’s for later to solve. Let it be known that IF it were a parasite, this could likely be its main host to entice people into its trap.

Anywho, if this fear hole connects through layers, then it likely pierces through every possible layer and meta layer. This would concern itself with the ads and promotional material, as I already said. And these worry themselves over marketability and using Rick’s likeness. Being more Rick than Rick. Being a Rickest Rick, like C-137 - emphasizing the point about sentient food ads trying to take Rick’s place.

And the Story Train manages to have a setting that tracks marketability as well, meaning Story Lord similarly tracks this as a mechanism of the train and reality, especially concerning Rick and Morty. The end of the first Story Train episode literally ends on an ad that the Citadel of Ricks was using to promote their Story Train toy set, meaning that the Story Train is technically an ad that is placing itself in the vicinity of other Ricks to be marketed and sold - much like the sentient Wendy’s food items. But is there any further proof that the Story Train and fear hole are TRULY intertwined?

Yes.

We can start off by showing that anything in the fear hole isn’t canon by definition. It is presupposed canon instead, implied canon. This is because our view of the fear hole relies on Morty’s knowledge of the world being currently shaped by the fear hole’s actual knowledge of reality. The first part of this theory explained that the outer reaches of the Story Train are considered non-canon and need an anchor. Otherwise, they spiral out of control with no direct medium. The reason that there can still be narrative spirals within the train is because it can happen quicker with nearby sequences going off - Rick and Morty can suddenly be in one story and exit into another because it is contained within the train. In the fear hole itself, it is going off what Morty knows as the fear hole’s knowledge guides him. Outside of the Story Train, literal continuity is needed or else you risk entering an uncontrollable story that has no anchor, no amount of truth to it at all. At the same time, I considered the non-canon to be the actual multiverse. This is the multiverse that surrounds the Central Finite Curve, this time being INFINITE instead of finite, and where Evil Morty fled to. This would also be similar to the chaos of the fear hole. A perfect analogy would be the fact that a sector of this ‘actual multiverse’ was contained under the premise that Rick is important, giving us the Central Finite Curve. The same happens with the Story Train containing its own continuity while the fear hole contains its own point of view with Morty inside of it. All of these line up, meaning that the Story Train must be using the fear hole as a tunnel.

But this still needs just a bit more evidence to it. How would the fear hole contain greater layers of reality AND the Story Train if it stays in a Denny’s at all times?

As we already know, the Story Train and the fear hole have countless layers to them until one resolves into the next in a transcendental format. You can go to the control room of the Story Train or realize your true fear in the heart of the fear hole. At the same time, the Story Train needs continuity to stay anchored and a medium. Otherwise, it’s similar to the chaotic multiverse outside of the train. And Morty didn’t know he was even in the fear hole at times until he himself realized it and eventually escaped it with the realization of what his actual fear is and what actually lies out there. To Rick outside of the fear hole, he had no idea what was even going on inside the fear hole. And then I remembered the fear hole demon guy in the suit.

Holy shit. He’s the key to this, LITERALLY. He was the one that brought them there, practically a symbiotic relationship with the fear hole. That memory energy and fear keeps it constantly flowing, sure, but there’s another important thing to mention. He not only explains what it is OUTSIDE of the hole, but explains how it works INSIDE of the hole. His sentience persists inside the fear hole because he is intertwined with it. Knowledge conquers irrational fears. Knowledge is how one escapes the fear hole, by either coming out smarter than their phobia or being blissfully unaware of its nature like Rick and staying away from it. And knowledge/awareness brings life to the Story Train and is the key to surviving the outer multiverse/non-canon. The fear hole’s manifestation demon (no idea what to call him) is the one allowing people to slowly escape with knowledge to anchor them to each layer - much like the Story Train. And we know the Story Train isn’t sentient, so I think that the fear hole is utterly massive in comparison to it.

It seems to contain knowledge it shouldn’t. As I said before, it knows what Diane looks and somewhat acts like and that Rick can see through her simulated flaws. It does this all from Morty’s flawed views of the world. In the first part of the theory, I said it reached into the “hyper-canon” of our real world and Doc and Mharti to reach Rick’s origin story. I don’t really stand by that view, but I think it can reach it by virtue of its size and magnitude. It reaches out and swallows the entire franchise - which thematically fits with containing the entire series so far by being at the very end of it (so far at least).

Just a small tidbit as well - Previous Leon was going through what Rick called a hole in the fourth wall. This is likely what the entire fear hole is, as it’s a fitting explanation that also ties in an actual statement from ‘Full Meta Jackrick’

I don’t know if the fear hole falls into the category of being a meta-parasite due to how large it is, but because it is said to feed off fear, then that is enough to class it here. To conclude, it seems that the Story Train practically uses the fear hole as a tunnel to reach every layer of reality possible. The ads exist on a layer here as well but are just as valid. I mentioned a ‘higher power’ and it’s likely this fear hole itself. If it gives a view through one’s perspective and shows the true higher layers or things one wouldn’t normally notice by filling in the blanks, it explains how Rick just KNOWS about these products perfectly without ever interacting with them. Going back to the actor comparison, it’s like Rick or anyone else is reading off a script. In a way, he is because he’s being fed this information through the fear hole. And seeing as how the fear hole creates a very convincing reality that can only be debunked through minor flaws (Rick notices Diane glitching out, Rick is the one who tears the wallpaper to show they’re in a Pringles ad), then it’s safe to say that these locations we see in these commercials takes place in the fear hole and probably different layers.

What does Rick get from this, though? He’s seen being paid in the PS5 promo (not related to food but still being used for this fear hole proof), but I think what matters the most is that he’s getting publicity. If he cares about being aired, then he cares about connecting himself to these other products and attaching his name to it - like a parasite.

Furthermore, it makes sense because he allows himself to parody or be parodied - such as the God of War or Ghost of Tsushima commercials. I said that these were the things that gave him life and still give him life. These are quick bursts of life for him, being able to effortlessly leech onto other properties and parody them or be parodied by them. The fear hole fills in the information for him so it’s not as hard. And since parodies fundamentally revolve around overlapping or blatant narrative archetypes, it makes sense why Rick was constantly referencing narrative archetypes such as cliches or story formats on a whim. He NEEDS to understand them to allow himself to keep living and it is the basis to understand many scenarios he’s in, which would explain why he later on uses meta technology that reveals things such as foreshadowing or Chekov’s Gun hidden in plain sight through a - I shit you not - meta-reality, or as he calls it, a meta-canon. That means that these things are a part of a canon connected ONLY through meta layers, so it practically confirms these things are connected together

Oh, and let’s not forget the whole minor narrative archetype of soup being used in Full Meta Jackrick. Just one more food connection to mention, though…

Hardee’s.

Hardee’s is the ONE outlier that threatens to debunk all of this. All we have is Rick letting the Hardee’s sentient burgers into Morty’s room with delight. And that says that he isn’t afraid of them. I didn’t want to mention it because of this entire build-up…BUT, it’s probably just him having some fun on set or experimenting with creating his own sentient food to counteract Wendy’s.

Rick Created Diane and Beth

I saved the very best for last. I briefly said that Rick wanted to ‘canonize’ himself and blend in as a Rick with a normal Diane and Beth. This is somewhat not true. I think that Rick was paralleling Prime’s current narrative to be the very first Rick to create portal travel, leeching off of Prime’s work and his life. Even though we never see this, Prime says ‘echoes of my daughter’ in his fucking amazing speech, meaning that Beth does exist for him too. This is what everyone else is basing themselves off of. So where exactly did C-137 locate a Diane and Beth if he’s faking this life as a parasite?

He didn’t. He made them.

You’ll quickly realize that this single portion could be its own great theory, but this acts as the greater support for this two-part theory. I think that Rick created his Diane and Beth. What’s the proof?

First off, we know that he’s an inventor. Even though portal travel was out of his reach, he was using technology early on to identify Rick Prime and his features. This means he has facial technology and yes, scans his own MEMORIES into a photo, which is another mini-bombshell of proof. This allows him to KNOW what Diane and Beth look like to create these blueprints in the first place.

Rick has the ability to create artificial intelligence and artificial humans as well. He once created a creature that mimics Jerry’s voice perfectly. He has created clones and decoys of his family. He has Diane’s voice still integrated into his technology. And this technology is clearly sentient, Rick allows them to have free will and opinions of their own - whether it be the Diane AI, the ship, the sentient lightsaber, the Morty clone that gained actual emotions and feelings before shutting itself down, etc. This is famously difficult to pull off, but it’s what many would argue separates a robot from a conscious being. The creation of free will into a robot would mean that these were real enough to Rick and their own ‘people’ in a way. So this shows that it’s clearly possible, but there’s way more than this.

Despite him being able to give free will to his creations, they’re still not perfect. ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ shows him whipping up Summer and Morty clone-bots that are pretty faulty. His clones were quick but not perfect - except one.

Space Beth.

Beth’s clones seem to have the most amount of work put into them. This got to the point where Rick couldn’t even tell who the actual clone was, not to mention that in ABC’s of Beth, he gave her the option of a clone already. It’s probably because Rick has had more time to perfect Beth’s clone rather than Summer and Morty…which shouldn’t be true. Wouldn’t it be paradoxically easier to create a working clone of someone younger rather than your older daughter you’ve known for longer? Not really. Because even if he was absent in Beth’s life and would have more reason to make a better clone for his accident-prone grandson he needs for adventures, it means that he has more experience creating a Beth clone.

Like the very original. Further explaining that very identity crisis both Beths have.

It’s also an interesting parallel to draw between him, Prime, and Simple Rick. At the very beginning, I said that Prime and Simple Rick were very similar to one another according to their placements along the Central Finite Curve. Simple Rick’s greatest invention is said to be his daughter Beth. And Rick C-137 took that VERY seriously - his greatest invention is still Beth, following Rick Prime’s footsteps.

The reason he’s making these two is because he’s a parasite, he’s not an actual Rick based off Prime. Since it’s just both of them in this war, he doesn’t have an established family because he isn’t an actual Rick based on Prime, this is merely a disguise. That’s why he allowed himself to be explicit as the ‘Rickest Rick’ when this disguise falls flat once Prime kills off Diane and Beth. Even though these are ‘fake’, these are advanced creations and Rick would be kind of a lonely guy. He clearly has a major disconnect that not even Morty can pin down in the fear hole since he can’t even give Rick what he truly wants - that Diane is STILL fake and inaccurate.

Why did Prime then kill off every Diane?

Because it’s a perfect amount of control and universal timing. C-137 can’t go out of his way to perfect the technology and lay low in another universe. I mentioned how he travels to other dimensions to blend in, but that’s with an existing universe. Prime was stopping him from starting over in another universe. Instead, he enters the existing lives of other Ricks - like a fucking parasite.

Considering that Rick meets Diane nearly across every dimension, Prime would either be interrupting the current relationship or soon-to-be relationship between a Rick and Diane across any given dimension. It means that Rick C-137 would either run into a dimension that doesn’t have a Diane yet or she’s dead. The reason Beth isn’t killed off is, well…no Diane means no Beth, in a way.

Although there isn’t enough proof that Diane was created, the proof is simply that C-137 is just going off ‘fake it until you make it’. I have to keep hammering this point home because otherwise, people would point it out as a fallacy when it’s just the basics.

Also, yes, it’s still a reason to be distraught. He likes the multiverse because he can access ANY Beth he wants at this point. It means he doesn’t have to create clones and that’s probably why he takes liberties nowadays compared to his older clone - Beth. And the dude once tried to befriend a fucking robot that serves butter. If he does that, he would for SURE be distraught at these free will top-of-the-line artificial humans he made himself dying right in front of him by the man he’s trying to control and whose life he’s trying to steal. He’s shown a good amount of compassion for his creations.

And another small piece of proof is that the fear hole shows Diane glitching out during it. I know that this is Morty’s view, but let’s follow the logic of the fear hole in the lens of this theory. It’s slowly molding a perfect Diane for our Rick, imagined in the mind of Morty. That would be his Diane. Although we’re getting Morty’s views, it’s being molded by the fear hole and its powers, alongside its knowledge on Rick and reality. That would be creating a perfect Diane that only shows its flaws when it acts slightly robotic and off before actually glitching, like a piece of technology. This also isn’t even his Diane, a point shown at the beginning. This is a perfect harrowing allusion to the fact that Rick C-137 has no Diane at all. That’s why he ended up creating one, it’s a stolen invention. I mean, let’s not also forget that Rick Prime had fake hosts of his own depending on technology. It just seems like a Rick thing to do to create humanoid robots that can trick people into thinking they’re ACTUAL humans, as it was so convincing that it kept tricking Rick and required the aid of Evil Morty.

Even more proof from previous parts includes the weird detail that, in the same fear hole episode, we see that the robot that Rick makes for Diane has memories of a child before short-circuiting and neglecting its own programming. Again, this seems to be a common theme for these robots, but this shows that memories fuel life into these robots - more proof that C-137’s Diane and Beth must have had its memories siphoned off existing variants off the curve

I’d also like to mention that Rick mentions making robots for the Federation. What does he call the Gromflomites in the pilot episode? ‘Robots’.

Now, I’m going to just insert this next theory at the end since we’ve gotten enough proof of Diane and Beth being artificial humans. I have nowhere else to put this, but considering that Rick in the pilot was portrayed as senile, missing obvious details, and quick on his feet with lies or excuses, perhaps he made robots for the Federation that got replaced by Gromflomites. We also see that they have access to a blue portal that can apparently reach outside of the curve. The one time we’ve seen a blue portal is when Rick was originally making them, the ones we see in Rick’s backstory that the Federation’s Gromflomite agents themselves witnessed (even if it was a false origin). I’m going to consider the pilot as also being a part of the canon, perhaps it takes place very early on in the timeline and there’s just a gap between it and the first actual episode. Anyways, I’m mentioning this because if Rick went against the Federation, they would want to tap into Rick’s vulnerability. That means using his technology in more subtle ways, taking him and his friend, and tracking his origin story. This is done in three ways:

-Don’t use agents created by Rick and instead use his technology that can be altered or won’t turn on them

-Track down his friends and alter Birdperson using technology Rick gave them. This would be possible due to their bond and the sheer irony of it, as well as hinting at the fact Rick’s technology perfectly works on his best friend.

-Start to amplify and reuse Gromflomite innate senses and build their own technology based on it to track memories and parasitic minds, eventually using it on Rick himself.

This shows how it FINALLY wraps around, showing that Rick’s influence truly pans out and graces everything, as we saw that the Central Finite Curve changes from his conflict and new life hunting Rick Prime down.

To cap off everything that’s been said here, we have more proof for the narrative I was laying out. Rick C-137 is a meta-fictional parasite from outside of the canon who is trying to impersonate Rick Prime, the actual Rick of this franchise. He has used his inventive demeanor to fabricate a false life in the process yet was found out by Rick Prime, who he only followed closely because it resembled one of his fathers and as a way to slip into this system of potentially infinite bodies to take control over too.

The life of a parasite needs it to actually take over a body. Way back in Part 1, I showed that the multiverse and non-canon out there is chaotic and ruthless. These meta-parasites push themselves through this chaotic sea to fund a host to replicate or take over narratively speaking. That’s why Rick’s greatest invention is portal travel - the one way to eliminate this entire issue. It is this reason why he holds it close and is an icon inseparable from him.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #rick c137 #rick and morty theory #rick meta parasite theory

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scienceoftheidiot · 8 months

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Hi! So I'm going to catch up on the latest chapter of All The Hope asap, but do you mind sharing some of the inspirations and thought processes you had behind writing this story? :D

Aahh don't worry about catching up, the fic is there and not going away, read when you can 🥰

I'm so sorry this is going to be... Extremely long... 😬😬😬 oops 😅

Sooo there are a number of thought processes I've gone through when writing this specific fic! I'll try to explain while being not too spoilery 😅

(Edit : in case anyone wants to read the fic, you can find it here : All the hope that I lost, you have found)

First, as I say in the notes of the fic, I had the idea of this because I had already written a fic where Roy didn't get healed after Promised Day and stayed blind, but in this one it was understood in the background that Grumman had pressured the other generals so he'd be able to keep him.

The result is a fic where, inbetween the lines, Roy has a LOT of pressure on himself, has to go through rehab and at the same time has to prove he can still be kept in the army - which means the frat laws still apply, and neither he nor Riza have much brain power left to try and address this, which makes for a weird power imbalance and Roy not knowing where he stands and what he wants out of the relationship (which. Is what backfires at the beginning, because, he in fact, knows very well, and what he wants is NOT nurse Riza 🙃). So the whole setting is different.

I still like this fic, and many things that happen in it, but it's pretty unrealistic even by FMA standards, lol (I also forgot to take into account that Havoc himself would need a lot of rehab before he comes back 😅), and I wanted to explore the other, more realistic option imo, that Roy wouldn't be kept in the army's ranks.

Because with Roy out of the army, so many things can actually work better.

Of course the obvious, and what Roy realizes himself in the first chapter, is that the frat laws don't apply. More on that later.

But there's also the fact that Roy, as a General (Grumman would definitely not leave him a Colonel after Promised Day at least in part because so many generals have died 😅), would have overseen Ishval's restauration from afar, and not be hands on. Because he'd have a lot of work, he'd probably be appointed to be the head of East Command at the very least (Grumman even talks about it in the manga), and while Roy this way can ensure there's enough funds and men and help going and he would have been far more able to pull money from the state and rich people of Amestris to fund the restauration, he would also be way too precious to be allowed to just roam around Ishval helping rebuild.

Basically, in post Promised Day Amestris, an able bodied General Mustang who wouldn't use alchemy much is far more precious to the army than an overpowered, but blind Roy. Not only do I like to pull the rug from under his feet because I'm just evil like that, I like how he's never been that powerful, and yet. While there's a lot of talk about how Amestris is pretty good at accepting disability (no meta from me there, I don't have much to say), it's stated plainly a couple of times that unless they can be fit with an automail, disabled soldiers are no use. See Havoc. Anyway that's the way I followed, because even with Grumman on top, the army stays the army, and the army is not a nice institution. At least Roy and Havoc got a pension 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't think they could have expected much more.

So overall, politically speaking, having Roy stay in the army is interesting, but action wise a little less. Alchemy wise, too. Because I want Roy to use his new overpowered alchemy (he will !!! And not only to transmute tea, spoons and squeaky door hinges, lol)(this fic is very slow aaab I am sorry), and if he's not on the field or only as a last resort against some incredibly powerful enemy.... That's not of my interest. (Keep in mind that's just MY train of thoughts, lol, I am not dissing any fic that does that. I want to read them. Lol). And to be honest I don't see any other reason that just being kicked out where Roy would leave the army (in manga/BH. In 03 I have different ideas but this reply is already soooo long).

Another point is that I wanted to explore Royai as an established couple, but still stay within the lines of the original story. And here I have the perfect setting : no frat laws anymore, they needed each other to basically survive during and right after Promised Day, and I had them make this deal that if Riza helps Roy, she has to let him help her, too. In this fic, the result of Promised Day is that now they are codependent more than ever, and I wanted to explore that, how their relationship shifts but in the end stays the same, and how it helps them move on.

It's definitely NOT a sane way to recover IRL, I know lol, but I think for them there is no other way. Their lives are already so entwined, it couldn't work differently in this specific case.

Last but not least : I'm an angst monster. Taking everything from Roy and fucking up Riza? Yes please let me play with that 😈 How is someone as stubborn and ambitious as Roy going to deal with having his ambitions crushed, and his autonomy seriously hampered? How is Riza going to deal with what was basically her goal by procuration disappearing, and her job radically changing? How are they both going to go on? Together, of course. And as I had Roy say himself in the fic, maybe they can allow themselves that, even if it's temporary, because, well. They don't have much else left. And it's not hurting anybody so why not.

So with this as a (clearly not as defined at the time) base I went on and then the events just clicked.

However. I want to say a couple of things about this fic, more in a logistics way :

First, the number of chapters is a lie. I have hastily cut all the "conjoined" chapters I had in half to get a rough number, but in fact there are some chapters that I keep as one, some that I divided that I had not planned on dividing. So take the number of chapters as an indication that the fic is mostly written and almost finished, but it won't be 27 chapters for real. How many ? No idea lol. Probably more around 20 judging by how it's going.

Also. This fic is only the beginning of Roy and Riza's journey, be it together or to rebuild Ishval. It will end with the (nice!) big event that was already foreshadowed, leaving a lot to do still. But if I find the strength to write yet another crazy long fic, there will be a second part (ok uh. Second part is already 20K long and has a rough outline. I don't write linearly lol).

This whole fic btw is also there for two reasons : 1) considering I am (have been for YEARS) writing an original novel with a blind main character I just HAD to try and write blind Roy, couldn't pass on that, and 2) I have an incredible enabler in the person of @qs63 who just pushes me, gives me lots of inspiration, and reads all I write and is just so supportive, and who is a great writer herself - we even wrote a whole fic together, and it was A BLAST. This fic wouldn't be there without her because I didn't want to just write yet another blind Roy fic and she persuaded me the idea was good. And now I think it's one of the best I've been working on (with the one we wrote together, lol).

Aaaanyway sorry this is a lot of rambling and thoughts and this was very long, but thank you so so much for asking about this fic. I just love to talk about it and read how people feel about it ❤️❤️❤️ thanks !

#long post #writing #replies

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domestikhighway58 · 1 year

Text

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

Thanks to @spencer-reids-adventures for tagging me! Woo!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 58 (LOL UNINTENTIONAL)

2. Word count posted for the year: 1,099,815

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Criminal Minds, Harry Potter, Parks & Rec (but yo, I don't really count those last two)

4. Pairings: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid/The BAU Team, couple random outliers in there somewhere. Feel blessed I didn't drop any of my 4 Jeid fics in public.

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Casimir Pulaski Day with 536

Bookmarks: Casimir Pulaski Day with 262

Comments: And again! Casimir Pulaski Day with 151 comment threads (why is sadness so popular?)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Honestly? My first ever fic and the thing that got me back into writing. The Eyes Have It literally opened my own eyes to writing again after a decade of not touching a keyboard. I did not think I would make it past 1000 words, let alone the 100,000 words that fic inspired. I had never written dialogue seriously before, never come up with any kind of extended plot, never explored character arcs, or even written creatively past a few lines of poetry. I posted that first chapter assuming I would lose interest or my depression would get the best of me yet again but neither of those things happened. I finished the three-part series three months later and made so many amazing fandom friends through that one fic. Even if it's not my most popular or even best-written work so far, it will always be my favorite.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

OOF. Well, quite a few fit that category but one I'm quite sad about is also just a symptom of my itchy fingers when it comes to writing whatever pops in my head. I deleted it (so sorry) but I plan to return to it one day and make it what I wanted it to be. If you're dying for shitty Highway58 drunkfics, here are these two terrible gems: The Wolf (terrible half-assed attempt at werewolf Spencer, update coming the next time I have whiskey) and my one and only Harry Potter fic, Sequi Mi, where I decided no matter how hard I fangirled on HP in my youth I can't do it anymore now. Maybe one day.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

My very first few comments on my first-ever fic bolstered my confidence like nothing else could. Some were short, some were so long and detailed that they made me cry. I recall two specific commenters who stuck by that crazy story with inspiration and encouragement and they are now in my circle of online friends I never would have found if I didn't keep writing. <3 Every comment I get is an amazing compliment and every single person who decides to take the time to read my bullshit is a goddamned gift.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Several stories I've completed this year spanned a time of my life that I thought was my lowest point. While writing it out through fic was helpful, it was also an outlet that exposed my issues and forced me to face them. The hardest time for me to write was also the time I probably wrote the most, when I was in that lowest space around this time last year. I felt guilty about it when everything else was going to hell but I kept doing it. Ultimately, exploring this side of my creativity allowed me to overcome some of those massive problems I thought were insurmountable.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

So many. I think I was somewhat surprised to find how much I enjoy writing the OC protagonist from their warped perspectives. I wrote a sadistically evil Doctor, a psychopathic billionaire heiress, and a Wild West warlord this year all within the context of CM and they were SO MUCH fun, I'm sad I killed them all. I also just think it's interesting to explore the potential depths of OCs within the fanfiction genre. So, that was a pleasant surprise when all I anticipated starting on this journey was a new way to explore the characters I already love.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Ugh. I dunno. Too many words, but here's this from my first OC I still love and miss: Cheers, Caro, you might be in my first OG novel one day:

"Time to make an offering.

The clothes and the phone bundled in her hands, she turned to the door. Walked down the narrow stairs, across the empty hall. Pushed the creaking screen door open against a violent night, the storm which had gathered earlier finally unleashing its fury.

She cradled the phone with the image of those hands frozen, locked against her. Against her. On her. In her. Choking life back into her.

Edging the rusted gate open she entered the garden. The wildness couldn’t compare with home, but it was something. " The Eyes Have It, Chapter 19

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think I've expressed this already elsewhere but... I wasn't a writer at all before this year. I dabbled for years in poetry and songwriting before landing at a point where I assumed my creativity was dead beneath the yoke of daily life and responsibility. When I started reading fanfiction, I was more depressed than I have ever been in my life. I buried myself in the words of others and wished I could even come close to that kind of creative expression. So when I finally sat down to write a story, I outlined something that came nowhere close to the story I ultimately wrote--and that's when I learned it's not about planning or hoping to do it, it's just about doing it. So, if anything, I grew comfortable with the idea that I can write and that I should--for myself. Because it helps.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope to start finishing my WIPs more succinctly and with a bit more regularity. I do think I need to spend less time writing fanfic and more time honing my other skills. It is difficult to find the delicate balance between doing something for fun and doing it because you feel you need to please others. That's the double-edged sword of writing and posting fics--sometimes you feel the guilt weigh heavy when you let. a story lie there for months without relief. So, I want to probably slow down with my writing and be a little more intentional with it going forward. (Though honestly, that pains me to imagine--I love following the faintest whiff of fresh plot wherever it might lead). I do know I have no plans on stopping now that I've started.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

This is so hard. I've met so many new people this year who have endlessly encouraged and inspired me. Way too many to list here. I will shout out to @foggyblues-ralvez for being the first person to say Hi to me from the fandom (seriously, my dear Mandy, thank you <3). @masterwords, I love you and writing with you has been a fucking honor (also just hi, you should do this if you haven't yet, ily). @spencer-reids-adventures--endless love for your support and comments and the sprints, literally every step of the way. And then I'll shout out @brillianthijinx because darlin' you bring out a side in me I love and am terrified by lol, in the best way. But again, if I were to personally shout out every single person who has made an impact on me and my writing this year this silly thing would be longer than my ao3 wordcount. No one wants that.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

I won't go into detail here, but, yes. I write Spencer as my comfort character. While I sensationalize his issues to suit the story, the emotions are written from repressed experiences I have never explored. Writing is therapy as much as it is an obsession for me.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Just start writing. Don't think. Write. Share it or don't. Edit or don't. Just write. Every damn day, if you can.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Good lord, ALL of them. I hope to finish Casimir Pulaski Day by the end of January. I will be bringing back Signed, Sealed, Delivered in January as well. I want to finish up a few short fics soon and then continue my sequel to Silk Road quite soon. I have several A/B/O fics in the works, including the sequel to Old Town Road. @masterwords and I will of course be continuing our soft Hotchreid saga in Missing Pieces of Sleep. And then, you know, in my spare time I plan to start up part 2 of Finding it Out to explore some complicated Moreid/Hotchreid love triangle stuff within the canon. So, I've got a few things going on, ya.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@masterwords @eldrai @goobzoop @tobias-hankel @pandorasdreamings @fortheloveofwonderland

#year in review #writing #fanfiction #criminal minds #ao3 writer #2022 #been a fuckin year #hotchreid #spencer reid fanfiction #i might love him #1 million words #of love #and pain

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authorangelita · 2 years

Note

For the fanfiction author asks, how about: 1, 3, 9, and 11 for your Reunited series?

Oooh, Reunited is a great choice! Thank you for the ask!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? I was going through the Febuwhump prompts, and I saw "How long has it been?". I immediately had a mental image of Jack looking up at Mac in some sort of cell during his rescue and saying those words. I had to write it, and it just naturally came from Mac's POV (as most of my fics do :) ).

3: What’s your favorite line of narration? This was hard to nail down, but I finally went with this one: Mac was sitting on the war room couch reading a book called Quantum Physics for Babies to an actual baby.

I was so excited and nervous to introduce Jay. One of the early thoughts I had for this verse, after I decided that Mac and Riley were married, was that they would have a baby who was named after Jack. That's my favorite dialogue line – when Riley says that Jay is named after Jack. It makes me tear up.

11: What do you like best about this fic? This is hard. It's not really one thing, but a bunch of little things, like bits of dialogue and parts of scenes (I love Jack finding out about Jay the most, I think). I like exploring Jack's anxiety about being back with the team and trying to figure out where he fits in. I like Mac and Riley trying to figure out how to keep Jack close.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? I put this question last because I have three deleted snippets to share. The first two are alternative bits of scenes, and the last one is just a deleted part that I might use later. I always save the deleted parts in case I want to use them in something later.

This one is from Reunited - Medical and is alternate start to the second scene where Jack didn't go back to sleep after his nightmare.

He kept an ear out for Jay while he made pancake batter and fried bacon. While he had some nieces and nephews, Jack knew very little about babies. He'd been overseas when his sister's kids were born which made him the fun uncle who sent presents on the holidays and saw them once a year when he was stateside.

At 6:45, Mac walked into the kitchen in his running gear. His immediate smile when he caught sight of Jack slid into a frown pretty quickly. "What's all this?"

"Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd start on breakfast. I've been listening for the little man."

And this one is from Reunited - A Job Offer as an alternate opening where the idea is that Mac often tells Jay fairy tales about the team.

Riley set him down on his feet, and he ran unsteadily into Mac's open arms. "Hey, little man. Ready for a story?"

"He is more than ready," Riley said. She sat beside Mac and leaned over to give him a quick peck on the lips. "And so am I. What are you going to tell us about tonight?"

Jack's eyes cut from the fire over to Mac, and he raised an eyebrow.

Mac smirked as he settled Jay on his lap with one hand on the toddler's chest to keep him from leaning too far toward the fire. Jay loved fire. "How about a story about King Jack saving Prince Mac from evil Sorceress Nikki?"

Also from Reunited - A Job Offer, from Matty and Jack's talk.

"Mac needs an Overwatch that he trusts, and one who understands him," Matty said. "Even though he has a competent Overwatch now, it will never be like it was with you. I think your return will help."

"Competent Overwatch? Who?"

"An ex-Ranger named Oscar Little. They've been working together for over a year."

"I want to meet this Oscar Little."

Matty rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you'll get that opportunity. However, I need you to focus."

"I'm focused."

"That's debatable," she teased him lightly.

#fic ask game #ask ang things #rosieblogstuff asks things #about the reunited verse

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maddiwrites · 3 years

Text

The Hybrid (I)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: The Pogues rekindle their friendship with their old childhood best friend and JJ’s first crush, Y/N. Old feelings resurface for JJ and Y/N, possibly leading to a summer neither one of them could ever forget. Due to past trauma, Y/N is reluctant to let anyone into her heart, but JJ never backs down from a challenge, even if he knows it will come back to haunt him in the end.

Note: Thank you for being patient with me as I slowly write this series. I had this idea a long time ago and I’m not finding motivation to write it but the inspiration comes and go. I smile with every comment that is left on my fics and I’m so grateful for this community. Thank you for letting me pursue my creative writing without judgement. Love you guys! (Also, yes. If you didn’t see my last note, I based YN’s family off of the Gilmore Girls characters. That’s who I picture as them.)

Word Count: 8k

Masterlist Prologue

You wake up to someone falling on your bed next to you with a dramatic sigh. Knowing exactly who it is, you choose to ignore her and try getting back to the dreamless sleep you were peacefully having before you woke up.

That is, until she sighs again.

You flip onto your back and stare up at your ceiling fan that’s quickly spinning above you. “What, Rory?”

“How did it go with Andre and that boy?”

You look at her with one brow raised. “You woke me up to hear about Andre’s love life? That hardly sounds like you. You don’t care about high school drama or hookups.”

“You’re right,” Rory says. “But I thought I would ease you into what I actually need to tell you.”

You turn on right side and look at your sister confused. “What?”

She sighs. “The cafe’s basement flooded last night. Mom needs us there to help her clean up and take inventory on what’s salvageable.”

You turn back on you backside and close your eyes, exhaling a deep sigh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Unfortunately not,” Rory says and pats you twice on your covered thigh as she sits up. “Come on. I made you pre-cafe coffee. It’s sitting in the kitchen.”

You throw your sheets off of you and trudge to the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face. It’s about 8 a.m. At least you were able to get about six hours of sleep.

Last night, it was hard to let your brain rest to fall asleep. You kept tossing and turning, thinking about the blonde Pogue who walked you home. You missed how easy it was to talk to someone who you felt truly knew you. Your banter rolled off your tongue easily and you never had to worry about offending him because you knew him like the back of your hand. You knew what he could take and what he couldn't.

Talking to him brought back childhood memories you had hidden deep in your mind. How JJ would constantly poke you until you ripped into a smile on days that were grey. How you used to steal John B’s bandanas until he was chasing you around his house to get them back. How you would draw a mustache and a unibrow on Pope’s face when he fell asleep by the water.

Those days felt like they were decades ago. So far away, you didn’t know if you’d be able to reach for them again. If it was even possible to get back.

You thought about texting him. Thanks for walking me back. We should all get together soon! You had written out. But then you deleted the whole message, telling yourself it was because you didn’t know if he even had the same number. But deep down, you were just afraid of the rejection.

Its been about three years since the four of you had been together in one place. You don’t know what they’ve been through or if they’ve changed. They for sure as hell don’t know what you’ve been through. You don’t know if they're dynamic has changed. Clearly you and JJ can still joke with each other but what about John B and Pope? You heard about John B’s father disappearing at sea, most people believing he’s dead, but John B holding onto hope that’s he’s alive. You always thought about calling him to reach out and offer your condolences. But for the same reason you didn’t text JJ, you never called. It didn’t feel like your place. They had Kie for that now. A little part of you felt jealous of her, like she had replaced you and any memory of you. She seemed nice, but she wasn’t you.

“Ready?” Rory pops her head in to your room as you slip on a cropped plain white zip up jacket over your cropped black tank.

“As I’ll ever be,” You say and snag the car keys out of her hands. “Don’t even think about it. I’m driving.”

Rory rolls her eyes. “I want to get there safely.”

“And I want to get there quickly.”

“Fine. But we’re taking my car. It actually has doors.”

For your sixteenth birthday, your grandparents gifted both you and Rory your own individual cars and even let you pick them out. Rory chose a black 2020 Honda Civic for it’s safety features and reputation for longevity as if she was planning on handing it down to her future kids. And you picked out a white 2020 Jeep Wrangler with a hard top that pops off along with the doors for a very open and thrilling ride. Everyone but you called it a death trap, but you found it to be the perfect summer car.

You park Rory’s boring Honda Civic in the back of the cafe in a lot used specifically for employees. The cafe is already booming with teens and families, waiting for their morning coffees and fresh pastries. Kids your age are running around behind the counter with sweat dripping down their brow bone to get everyone’s orders out in a timely manner.

In the back of the store, your mom walks up the steps from the basement with two large trash bags and immediately notices the two of you. “Oh good. You’re here. Rory, help the girls behind the counter. The dishwasher’s broken and poor Hailey is hand washing everything. Y/N, come with me downstairs.”

“Why does Rory get the fun job?” You grumble and follow your mom back downstairs after she tosses the two trash bags.

“Because she’s actually nice to the customers.”

“Treat others how you would like to be treated. Isn’t that what everyone always says?” You smirk. You never agreed with the phrase ‘the customer is always right.’ It’s complete bullshit and being the employee shouldn’t mean letting yourself getting verbally abused by a ‘Karen’ on the other side of the counter.

The basement is used for the cafe’s storage, lined with wooden shelves Steve put together that hold to go cups, back up espresso machines, boxes of coffee and food and ingredients, etc. Now all the boxes are dark and sopping, creating puddles on the concrete floor.

“Oh my god. Mom. How did this happen?”

“Jenky water pipe busted in the middle of the night,” Steve walks down the stairs and passes your mom a knowing look. It didn’t surprise you that he was here. He’s the jack of all trades. Owns his own automotive shop, builds a lot of his own furniture, actually cooks a decent meal, and has the same outlook on customer service as you do. He was probably your mom’s first call. “Talked to the plumber. They can’t get here until at least noon.”

“Noon? We’ll be underwater by noon. I might as well turn all my employees into a swim team,” Your mom says.

Steve shakes his head. “I was able to hold the leak until he gets here. You should be fine.”

Steve was the first person that actually helped your mother out when's she moved to the Cut. Six months pregnant, she pushed her car into his automotive shop after it broke down on the side of the road. Their banter was similar to the one you and JJ have. He helped save your mom money by building yours and Rory’s cribs, changing table, and dressers. And ever since, the two of them had been connected by the hip, although they both refuse to admit it. You think the pair are just trying to deny the love they clearly share for each other. And you think the main reason for that is because of the incident four years ago with your mom’s ex boyfriend. No thanks to you.

“Look at you constantly building your resume,” You smirk at him.

Steve scoffs. “It’s more than what you’re doing.”

You roll your eyes. Steve is the closest thing you have to a father. He practically helped raise you with your mom. He’s the one you turn to whenever a fight with your mom goes too far, which isn't too often but it happens. He usually lets you stay at his house for the night to let you cool off. But he’ll never sugar coat his advice when it comes time for him to give it. Even if you don’t ask for it. He knows growing up with Rory has been challenging. She was clearly your mom’s favorite, or at least that’s what you thought. She has a 4.0 GPA with a realistic dream to get into Brown University and study journalism. She played by every rule, never got into trouble, and spent most of her free nights getting ahead of her school work or staying late at the cafe with an open book from the library across the street. She was an absolute angel to everyone else, making you look like her evil twin.

You glare at him before turning to your mom with crossed arms. “What do you want me to do, Mom?”

“Actually honey. Can you go to Heywards and grab more coffee filters and napkins. The water soaked right through the plastic wrapping on our last box.”

You nod, leaving your mom and Steve to clean up the basement themselves. Before heading out, you sneak behind the counter and make yourself a quick coffee to go.

“Where you going?” Rory asks as she reaches behind you to grab a banana for her customer at the register.

“Heywards to grab a couple things for Mom.”

“Oh. Make sure to grab toilet paper while you’re out. I think we’re almost out of it.”

“Got it.”

Heywards is only a short drive from your mom’s cafe. It’s the closest convenient store that isn’t crazy pricey. It’s where your mom gets all her supplies whenever she runs out of things before shipment gets there.

You use to always come here when you were younger with the boys, each of you, even Pope, stealing a small bag of chips or a candy bar here and there. Little did any of you know, Mr. Heyward caught your thieving hands every time but never said anything.

The bell above the door chimes when you walk into the store. You know this place as well as you know the cafe, finding the toilet paper and coffee filter immediately.

When Mr. Heyward looks up from the counter, his smile grows. He can pick you out of a crowd anywhere, but he hasn’t seen you in a long time. Last time he saw you, you had braces and overgrown bushy brows. Now you had bushed hair and shaved legs.

“Hi. Mr. Heyward,” You grin shyly at him. You don’t know how he’s going to react to see you, unsure of what Pope might have told him about you.

“Little Miss Y/L/N? Is that you?” Heyward smiles widely, pulling your own lips into a wider smile. “I haven’t seen you for a long time.”

“Yeah, I’ve been busy with school and my mom’s cafe...” Both of those things were a lie. You just avoid the Cut to avoid the Pogues.

“How’s the fam?”

“They’re good,” You say as Heyward hands you your bags. “Mom says hello by the way. I’m actually taking these to her store now.”

“Well, don’t be a stranger. We miss your smiling face around her. Anette, too.” Heyward says, mentioning his wife.

“Tell her I said hi.”

“Of course, darling.”

Heyward and Anette always had a special place in their heart for you and Rory. They’re not one for gossip, but they knew a little bit about what your mom’s been through and have heard plenty of stories about your grandparents. They always thought, despite your mom’s background, that you and your sister were raised impressively. Anette always hoped that one day Pope and Rory would get together. Everyone always wanted their child to be with Rory.

As your about to leave the store, the bell chimes again with another customer. Only it’s not another customer. It’s Pope and John B. They don’t see you at first, and you wonder if maybe you can sneak out without them seeing you. But something about that felt wrong. Especially because Heyward would more than likely mention to them that you were here.

Pope sees you first and stops in his tracks. “Y/N?”

“Hey, guys. Long time no see,” You smile at both of them. You bite down on your lip awkwardly when you meet John B’s stare. You don’t know if you should mention anything about his dad’s disappearance. But what would you say? Sorry? What good would that do?

“How’ve you been?” Pope gives you a small side hug, then John B.

You shrug. “You know, living the dream.”

“How’s life as a Hybrid?” John B smirks.

You roll your eyes playfully and groan. “Oh god. Never call me that again.”

You may be considered a Hybrid by everyone else, but you would never put yourself into that category. You grew up a Pogue, the same way everyone else did around you. The only thing tying you to the Kooks are your grandparents.

“Why?” John B smirks. “I wish I was a Hybrid.”

You smirk back. “Maybe you will be one day. I hear you have a Kook of your own for arm candy.”

You saw a faint hint of blush on John B’s cheek at the mention of his girlfriend but you don’t mention it. “Sarah, yeah. She’s not like the other Kooks.”

“I would hope not. Her brother’s a dick.”

“Yeah,” They laugh.

“We miss you, you know.” John B says. Pope looks at you, trying to read your expression. John B’s not wrong. They do all miss you, especially Pope. He felt like you were the only one who really understood him. Of course his other friends are great, but you actually took the time to try and understand his passions. Like forensic science.

“I miss you guys too. It’s been a while.”

“Well, hey. We’re actually all getting together tonight at my place. Nothing big. Just a bonfire and a couple beers. You should stop by,” John B says.

“Yeah,” Pope says, immediately getting hopeful that you’ll show up.

Your smile falters. The invite makes your heart swell and your lungs contract. It’s an invite you’ve been wanting for three years. And now that you have it, you don’t know what to say. It’d be different if it was just the four of you like old times. But now there’s Kie and Sarah and although you have nothing against them, you’re afraid they won’t accept you. The thought of your boys picking them over you terrifies you.

“Okay. Yeah, sure. I’ll try to swing by later.”

Pope smiles wide and looks at his friend to see his reaction. John B grins and nods, almost impressed that you had agreed. But he saw the twitch in your lips when the question was asked.

“Great. I guess we’ll see you later then.”

You nod. “Okay. Bye guys.”

You suck in a deep breath when the fresh air outside of Heyward’s store brushes over you. Your heart thumps wildly with both excitement and nerves when you’re finally able to collect your thoughts. You don’t know what you’ll do tonight, but the possibilities can change your entire summer.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You spent the rest of the day mopping up the cafe’s basement and rearranging the shelves. You smelled of sweat and coffee grounds by the time you were done and dreamt of the shower you would be taking when you got home.

Rory drove you home after the two of you closed up the cafe for the day. Neither of you said much. Rory was exhausted from running around behind the counter and you were too busy thinking about whether you’d go back to the place you used to call your second home.

You took a longer shower than usual, still pondering what your night would be like. Your head was telling you to stay home but your heart pulled you in the direction of the Cut. You yearned to hear about what the future held for Pope, and listen to John B retell stories of when you were kids, and be able to stare into JJ’s bright blue eyes without him noticing.

You changed into a pair of jean shorts and a plain red cropped tank. Rory walks into your room as your brushing out your hair and looks at you as if you lost your mind.

“Are you out of your mind? You can’t wear that,” She says.

You brows scrunch together in confusion. “What are you talking about? I wear shit like this all the time.”

“Not to the Country Club, you don’t.” That’s when it hits you. Today’s been so hectic, you forgot what day it was. “It’s Sunday.”

Sunday dinner at the Country Club is now a weekly commitment forced upon you by your grandparents. Each week, your mom, sister, and you are forced to spend one dinner with your grandma and grandpa. This is basically your mom’s payment back for sending you and Rory to Kook Academy. Only they actually pay for the dinner. It’s usually the longest two hours of your entire week. It’s hard to listen to your grandfather rant about Real Estate and your grandma slyly critique your mother in almost every aspect of her life.

“Shit. I completely forgot,” You say.

“Well, you better change. We’re leaving in about five minutes,” Rory says then plucks a gold necklace from your dresser. “Oh and can I wear this tonight?”

You sigh. “Sure.”

You change into a baby blue wrap around dress and pin your wet hair into a half up half down due. It’s gonna have to work for the limited time you have to get ready. After applying a thin layer of makeup to look the least bit presentable, you meet your mom and sister by the front door.

“Finally,” Your mom says when she sees you.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was Sunday.”

“It’s okay, honey. I just don’t think I can handle another late remark from Mom today.” She looks you up and down and grins. “You look great.”

Despite the many fiery fights you and your mom can have, she is also your best friend. It’s kind of like a love hate relationship. Steve says it’s because you’re exactly like your mom - almost like a sixteen year old version of her.

You really hope that isn’t true. You’re not ready to have a kid in two years.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your grandparents are already sitting at a round table in the corner of the country club by the two tall windows that reach up to the ceiling with a view looking out into the golf course. The best seat in the house for the richest a holes on the island.

“Lorelai,” Your grandmother grins, but you can instantly tell it’s sarcastic. “Did you have to walk here?”

You speak up before your mom could. “Sorry Grandma. It’s my fault we’re late.”

Your grandparents are hard on your mom but easier on you and Rory, especially Rory.

“Well, you’re here now,” Your grandpa says. He’s usually the mediator between your mom and grandma. Although he’s usually sucks at it. “Sit. Sit.”

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, JJ shuffles through his many coworkers with his apron in one hand and a piece of fried calamari from Miss Carol’s appetizer in the other.

“JJ -” She scolds and slaps his hand away from going in for a second piece.

“Good evening Miss Carol,” JJ smirks and makes his way to the area between the kitchen and dining room where most of the servers and bust boys hang out. Some of the boys slap him on the back or shove him by the shoulder, chuckling to themselves. “What’s going on boys? Busy crowd?”

“What are you doing here? You never work Sundays,” His friend, Mitch, says.

Luke Maybank was behind on several bills - worse than it’s ever been. They already shut off their electricity and JJ wanted to make sure the water wouldn’t be next.

But JJ shrugs nonchalantly. “Little extra dough can't hurt.”

“Well, you picked a good day,” Raymond walks up to the blonde, rolling his sleeves. “You got Kook Royalty and their Hybrid offsprings in your section.”

“What?” JJ looks through the small square Plexiglas on the swinging door. He knows exactly where to look and immediately sees you sitting with King and Queen Kook, looking absolutely miserable, pushing around your food with your fork.

“Damn, Maybank. Almost broke your neck - you turned so fast.”

“Shut up, Easterling. I was just seeing how crowded we were,” JJ lied. He really just wanted to see if you were here. And now that he sees you are, he’s a little nervous to do his own damn job.

Raymond Easterling chuckles. “Yeah, I know what you were looking at. But don’t get your hopes up. There’s a reason Kooks call that girl the Heart Sucker. Not even the high and powerful JJ Maybank could get a piece of that.”

The guys around JJ and Raymond chuckle and nod in agreement, hearing the stories of how you’d reject every single guy that’s ever asked you out. Sometimes you’d go on a few dates, trying to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but then things would quickly become too much, and you’d get overwhelmed.

JJ didn’t like the way Raymond talked about you or how the others laughed at your expense. His hands clenched into fists, tempted to throw a punch in Ray’s cocky face. The guy’s just being a jerk because he’s one of the guys that got rejected by you, he thought.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” JJ shakes his head and ties his apron around his waist to distract his hands.

“No?” Raymond challenges him. “You think I’m wrong? You think you could pull the infamous Hybrid over there?”

JJ glances back through the window. You’re looking at your grandma with a clearly forced grin. You’re twirling your hair between your fingers, a habit you picked up when you were little to do when you’re bored. JJ would find you doing that in school all the time.

You’re gorgeous, he thought. It’s no wonder that almost every guy on this island has tried to make a pass on you, including JJ himself, but his remarks always come off as playful, afraid of actually telling you how he feels about you. His fantasies about you went further than just getting you between the sheets. He could picture getting married, having children, and growing old together. Years ago, the two of you would talk about your future. Neither one of you cared about money or fancy jobs. All you wanted was to be free - of this island, of each other’s families, of responsibilities placed on you from birth. You hold the same values as JJ, and he’s never met another person like you.

But JJ has a hard exterior. No one other than his best friends know his true heart, and he wasn’t going to let someone like Raymond Easterling find out about his soft spot for you. He would never hear the end of it.

JJ looks at you one last time. You’re talking to Rory, your face in his direction. This time you’re smiling, probably discussing something other than your grandparent’s expectations of you. He’d kill to see that smile every single day.

What’s the worst that could happen? You reject him? Yeah, that might kill JJ inside, but maybe you’d still be his friend, or continue to be acquaintances like you are now. As long as he gets to see you, he’d be okay. There was always the future. But who knows? Maybe you’d say yes? He’ll never know unless he tries. Right?

JJ fakes the same cocky grin that Raymond wears. “I haven’t failed yet.”

The guys around him whistle and shake their heads with smiles.

“All right, Maybank. Let’s make a bet. I’ll give you one hundred dollars to get Y/N Y/L/N in the sack by the fourth of July.”

JJ scoffs. “You like giving away free money?” He ignored his racing heart at the thought of being that intimate with you.

Raymond nods. “Okay. Let’s put your money where your mouth is. Get her to say ‘I love you’ by the end of the season and I’ll raise you an extra hundred and cover all your dishwasher shifts in September.”

JJ raises his brows with surprise. No one offers to take the dishwashing shift. Sometimes the boys are pulled back there when the kitchen is short staffed and it’s easily one of the worst jobs at the Club.

This bet was almost too good of an opportunity to pass up. “Deal.” JJ says.

The boys shake hands on it and the other guys whisper to each other about how intrigued they are to see this play out.

JJ wipes his sweaty palms against his apron and pushes the door open to approach your table, hoping he can hear you over his thudding heart.

“Good evening folks. May I take those empty plates out of your way?”

You look up at the voice you know so well and a smile raises on your lips. JJ meets your eyes and he winks at you, splattering your heart in flutters.

“Please.” Your grandmother pushes her plate away from her, stuffed with filet and red wine.

“JJ,” Your mom grins up at him. Growing up, your mom always had a soft spot for the blonde Pogue. She’s heard the stories about his father, mostly from Steve, who actually grew up with Luke Maybank, his cousin. As a child, he was sent to live with Luke Maybank and his single father. Lets just say, he’s not surprised by the way Luke turned out. “Look at you. You’re all grown up now. Last time I saw you, Y/N was still pushing your head in the sand for stealing her popsicle.”

“Yeah. I quickly learned no one should mess with Y/N and her food,” JJ says.

“Never stopped you though,” You smirk at him.

“Lorelai. Who is this?” Your grandma asks, disregarding the boy himself.

“Mom,” Lorelai gives her mom a warning look. “This is JJ Maybank. He went to school with Y/N and Rory.” Lorelai knew to play it safe with her wording. She didn’t know where you and JJ stood. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him and she knew better than to ask.

“Nice to meet you,” JJ says politely. “I’d shake your hand but mine are kinda full.” He motions to the plates in his hand.

“That’s quite all right.” Your grandma’s smile is so forced, it makes you uncomfortable.

“I won’t hold you up. Has your server been around with the dessert menu?” JJ looks at you. “We have chocolate cake tonight.”

Heat rushes up your neck. Not because of the cake itself but because JJ remembered your favorite dessert. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles. It was safe to save you were a choco-holic. The boys use to make it for you every year for your birthday. It usually came out burnt, none of them ever remembering how to properly make it. But it was all you needed to feel like a very special girl.

“Your favorite,” Rory elbows you.

Your grandma cringes. “Sounds like diabetes on a plate.”

“Mom,” Lorelai scolds.

“What?” She asks, not understanding the concept of a filter.

Now heat rushes to your cheeks for an entire different reason. “He did. We’re not doing dessert tonight. Thank you, though.”

JJ nods but feels disappointed by the way your face flinched at your grandmother’s comment.

“My pleasure,” He says like he was taught to do and excuses himself to drop the plates off in the back before he can say anything else that would probably get him fired.

Your mom looks at your with raised brows. “He’s cute, honey.”

“Lorelai, please. He’s the busboy,” Your grandma says.

“He’s a good kid, Mom.”

“If you’ll excuse me,” You stand up. “I have to use the restroom.”

Rory gives you a knowing grin as you walk away from the table. When you walk into the hallway between the dining area and the front lobby, you immediately feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Sometimes just the presence of your grandparents and their pompous judgements can be suffocating. You do your best to bite your tongue around them, excusing yourself when you feel yourself getting heated.

JJ catches a glimpse of your light blue dress out of the corner of his eye when he rounds the corner to collect the plates off a different table. He looks over his shoulder at Raymond, who’s staring at the blonde watching you, and winks.

“Hey, Y/N,” JJ says, walking up to you.

You look up from your phone and immediately smile. “Hey. I was actually hoping I’d catch you out here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You nervously tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry about my grandmother. She can be...”

JJ shakes his head. “Hey. It’s okay. I work for Kooks almost every single day. I’m use to it.”

You sigh. “That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Don’t apologize for something you can’t control,” JJ says. “Besides, that’s probably the nicest she’s ever been to me.”

You hide your face in your hands. “Stop. You’re making it worse.”

JJ laughs and takes your wrists in his hands, slowly pulling them away from your face. Your eyes shoot up to his, immediately feeling a tingling feeling run through your skin, straight to your heart.

“It’s okay. I promise,” He says softly. His voice is so sincere that you have no other option but to believe him. It almost makes your feel guiltier, wondering how much bullshit he’s been through with ungrateful Kooks that it’s so easy for him to forgive and forget.

“Okay,” Your voice is a whisper, taken off guard by how close he is to you and how he still hasn't let go of your hands.

In that same moment, JJ realizes he’s still holding you and gently removes his hands. He coughs awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck, where sweat begins to bubble. Why is he so nervous?

“So um...” You say, suddenly feeling nervous too. “You going to John B’s tonight?”

JJ’s eyes shoot up in surprise. How did you know that? “Yeah. I’m heading over there after work.”

“I saw him and Pope at Heywards earlier today and they invited me over. I wasn’t sure if I should come or not.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Because it’s different now, you wanted to say. But you didn’t because you feel like the elephant in the room would only grow. And you didn’t want to admit you were nervous to meet Kie and Sarah outside of school.

You shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You should definitely come. The boys miss you.”

You pretend like a little piece of your heart didn’t just break when JJ didn’t say ‘we.’

“What time do you get off of work?”

“Around 9ish.”

You nod. “I can pick you up if you’d like and we could go together?”

Your heart races after you suggest it. What if he says no? Why were you feeling this way? This is the same kid you use to make fun of for pouring milk into his bowl before his cereal.

“Yeah. That’d be perfect.”

“Great!” Your phone pings with a text from Rory, telling you that your grandparents are wondering where you are. “Shit. I have to get back. I’ll see you at nine?”

“See you then,” JJ nods and turns back to the kitchen. When his eyes meet Raymond’s, he’s reminded of what he agreed to. Almost surprised how quickly he forgot about it. You were able to take his mind off of anything without even trying. He clears his throat to get rid of the giddy grin he was wearing after talking to you, wanting to look tough and casual in front of his coworker. “Easy.” He says to him. But that felt anything but easy. He could vomit with nerves.

“There’s still plenty of time for you to screw up, Maybank.”

JJ huffs. He’s not wrong.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You drive up to the front of the country club and park in front of the main entrance. It’s 8:57. You’re early and will look eager. So you wait until 9:06 to text him that you’re here.

You changed into a pair of dark washed denim shorts, a yellow cropped tube top, a grey flannel, and navy converse. You changed your outfit about four times before deciding on your first one, not wanting to look too casual or too dressed up.

For the last three years, you wondered when the four of you would get back together as a group. You wondered if it would ever happen. And now that two Kooks are involved, you feel more nervous than excited.

You jump when the passenger seat door opens, lost in the depth of your own head. JJ smiles, not seeing your reaction.”Cool ride,” he says and looks around the interior.

“Thanks,” you say, pulling out into the road.

“I got you something,” JJ says.

You glance at him with furrowed brows. What could he have possibly gotten you since you saw him last? A book mark from the Country Club’s gift shop?

JJ reaches into his backpack and pulls out a plate with clear wrap around it. Your mouth drops when you see the chocolate cake on a plate in his hands, the smell immediately hitting your nose with pure delight.

“You saved me a piece?” You jump in your seat excitedly.

“Had to hide it good too or else Miss Carol would have had my ass handed to me,” JJ jokes and even pulls out two forks. He undoes the wrapping and cuts off a piece. He waits until you hit a stop sign and says, “Open up.”

You look at him and immediately open your mouth. He gently places the fork between your lips and you take the piece of cake off with your teeth. Like a baby.

Your eyes close with pure pleasure. “Oh my god. That’s amazing.”

“Miss Carol does know how to bake a mean cake,” JJ says and takes a bite of his own.

“Another one,” You say, glancing at the cake again. Like you said, choco-holic. “Please.” You say when JJ teases you by holding the fork away from you.

JJ laughs. “I like hearing you beg.”

You slap him in the arm with the back of your hand. “In your dreams, Maybank.”

“You got that right, Y/L/N.”

The two of you finish the cake with only a few bites each. Small but rich in chocolate that leaves you craving more. You were gonna have to meet this Miss Carol woman.

After he puts the plate back in his bag, JJ reaches for the aux cord, but you quickly slap his hand away. “Hey. What do you think you’re doing?”

“You’re seriously gonna make me listen to this the entire way to John B’s?”

You scoff. “I’ll have you know Blink-182 is one of my favorite bands.”

“It’s also soccer moms’ favorite band,” JJ laughs at you.

You turn up the volume, blasting ‘All the Small Things’ and point to your ear. “Sorry. Can’t hear you!”

JJ rolls his eyes but laughs along with you, even bopping his head to the beat. You drive with the windows down, dancing and singing along to a bunch of throwback songs with JJ as if the two of you have been doing this forever.

You pull up to John B’s and park behind his dad’s old van, better known as The Twinkie. When you turn down the music, JJ looks at you with a shake in his head. “Next time, I’m driving.”

“What was wrong with my driving?”

“We’re in the Outer Banks, Sparky, not NASCAR.”

You scoff and follow behind JJ who’s leading the way up John B’s driveway. As you get closer, you smell the smoky scent of a bonfire nearby and eventually hear John B’s laugh mixed in with a female’s. Your smile falters as nerves gather in the pit of your stomach.

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks.

“Nothing,” You say, but JJ easily catches your lie and gives you a knowing look. “What if they don’t like me?”

“Who? Pope and John B? I’m pretty sure they like you more than me even after three years -”

“Not them, you idiot,” You shove him playfully by the shoulder as you two let yourselves inside. “Sarah and Kie.”

“Don’t you go to school with them?”

“Yeah, but we don’t talk,” You say quietly, not wanting them to hear you.

“Hm.”

“What?” JJ shrugs. “Nothing. I just didn’t think you cared about what other people thought.”

“I don’t,” You say quickly. “But they're your best friends. It’s different.”

“You don’t need their approval. You technically were here first.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been replaced,” You try to say it as a joke and even throw a smirk in there.

But JJ stops in his track and looks at you seriously. “No one can replace you. Not even if they tried.”

You open your mouth to respond, but you’re at a loss for words. It’s not a common occurrence that JJ gets all serious on you. Warmth covers you like a blanket and the longer he holds your stare, the weaker your knees become.

“JJ! Is that you?” John B calls out from the backyard.

“Yeah,” JJ yells back. He opens the fridge in John B’s kitchen. “Want a beer?” He offers to you.

You shake your head. “No thanks.”

For the first time, you take in John B’s home. It looks the same as it did three years ago, only a lot messier. The pull out couch looks like its been used recently with blankets and sheets tossed about on it. Empty beer cans and cigarette butts are thrown messily on the coffee tables and the air smells faintly of old marijuana.

JJ leads you out to the back where four people are gathered around a fire. Three out of the four immediately smile when the two of you approach them, but Kie’s eyes narrow and her head tilts with confusion.

Shit, you think.

“You came!” Pope laughs and hops up from his beach chair and embraces you in a hug.

You laugh, not expecting the embrace, but welcoming it all the same. John B’s next, giving you a quick hug and shaking his head.

“I gotta say, I didn’t think you were going to come,” John B says.

“You can thank me for that later,” JJ says jokingly.

“Actually when I heard JJ was coming, I almost changed my mind and stayed home,” You joke and smirk JJ’s way.

“Just like old times,” Pope says, looking between you and the blonde. The banter felt like the yall never separated in the first place.

“Hey, you know Sarah and Kie, right?” John B points to the girls. Sarah stands up to say hi, and eventually Kie follows her, not wanting to look rude, but stays off to the side, keeping her distance.

“Yeah,” You wave awkwardly.

“Hey!” Sarah says sweetly. “I didn’t realize you guys use to all hang out.”

“Y/N grew up down the street,” JJ explains and sips at his beer.

“You want a drink or something?” Pope asks you, not knowing JJ already did.

“No thank you,” You say again.

“You don’t drink?” Kie asks. It was the first thing she’s said to you.

“Not usually,” You say and hold her stare. You try to get a read on her, but she’s had to get a tell on. You can’t tell if she just doesn’t like you or just doesn’t know you. Either way, it makes you uneasy.

“Here, I’ll go grab you a chair,” Pope says and walks to the side of the house to grab another beat up beach chair.

As the night goes on, you feel the tension in your shoulders loosen and your body feel lighter. Most of the night was spent retelling childhood stories the four of you shared. Sarah would laugh at most of them, occasionally rolling her eyes at her boyfriend from the stupid shit he would do, although it sounds like he’s no different to you now.

You talked about the time you and JJ stole a golf cart for a joy ride on Figure Eight, or when you and John B pranked Pope by putting a dead fish in his locker, or how you and John B learned how to play guitar from youtube tutorials.

Midnight came around quickly and exhaustion was slowly taking over your body. It’s been a long day between the cafe flooding, dinner with your grandparents, and now this.

JJ was the first to notice you slowly fading.

“You okay?” He asks you quietly as everyone else is caught up in conversation.

“Yeah,” You say, lazily grinning at him.

“We can leave if you want,” He says.

“You’re not staying?” You ask. It sounded like everyone was planning to spend the night here. And as much as you wanted to, you just didn’t feel comfortable enough yet.

JJ shrugs. “My dad’s out of town tonight. It’ll be nice to have the house to myself.” Before you can say anything, he stands and brushes his hands against his pants. “All right, losers. We’re out of here.”

“Aw, you’re leaving?” Sarah pouts.

“Yeah, I’m beat and Y/N’s my ride home,” JJ says.

You were glad he didn’t call you out for being tired. You didn’t want to look lame in front of everybody, especially Kie.

“Thanks for having me,” You say to everyone. It might have been John B’s house, but it was everyone’s night you intruded on.

John B stands up to hug you. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

You nod. “I won’t. I promise.”

Pope hugs you next. “Text me when you get back safe.”

“I will.”

“Bye!” Sarah waves and Kie exhales a ring of smoke from her blunt.

You wave at them before following JJ back to your car.

“Nuh-uh-uh,” JJ says. You didn’t realize you both walked to the driver’s side.

“What? No.”

JJ nods and holds his hands out for your keys. “I’m not dying tonight.”

“You’ve been drinking and smoking all night,” You say. You didn’t think JJ was drunk or even that high, but you were not going to let a teenager with an ounce of alcohol in his system get behind the wheel. “Next time. For now, hold on to the cupholder.”

JJ sighs dramatically and goes to the other side of the car and hops in the passenger seat.

This time you keep the music quiet, listening to the hum of the radio instead of your phone.

“Take a left,” JJ says.

“JJ, I know where you live. And it’s not left.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

You snicker. “Not in the slightest.”

JJ rolls his eyes. “Just take the left.”

You hold your hands up in surrender and take the left turn. He directs you for a couple more miles until he has you park in front of a 24 hour diner.

“What are we doing here?” You ask.

“I’m in the mood for a milkshake.”

“We just had cake!” You say.

“Come on, Sparky. Show me what that mouth can do,” JJ smirks.

You go to hit him again but he takes off running to the front entrance and pulls the door open. You chase after him, almost running into his back at the front host stand where JJ safely smirks at you in triumph.

“Two please,” He says to the hostess.

The old cranky woman leads you to a booth off to the side next to a window without a word.

A couple minutes later, a waitress walks by and asks if you’re ready to order.

“Yes. One chocolate milkshake and one black and white milkshake,” JJ orders for both of you, already knowing what flavor you’d want.

“And fries, please.” You say. The waitress nods, takes your menus, and walks off. JJ raises his brow at the extra order. “What?” You shrug. “Just showing you what my mouth can do.”

JJ scoffs. “What a tease.”

You playfully kick his shin under the table.

“Did you have fun tonight?” JJ asks.

“Yeah,” You answer. “Felt like old times. The girls are nice too.”

You were about to only mention Sarah, but you didn’t want to cause any issues with Kie. Not yet at least. Maybe she just needed time to warm up to you.

“See? I told you they wouldn’t bite.”

A couple minutes later, the waitress comes back with your milkshakes and fries.

“How’s John B doing? You know, with the whole Big John thing?” You ask delicately, unsure of how JJ would react to you pestering about John B’s business. “I didn’t want to ask and bring the mood down,” You explain yourself although you don’t need to.

JJ shrugs. “He’s in denial I think. Won’t sign a death certificate until he sees a body. He could be worse, though.”

“Yeah,” You say softly. You don’t know what you would do if you were in that situation. In a way you felt lucky that you never knew your dad at all. It would be harder to lose him, knowing who he was.

You take a fry and dip it into your milkshake before taking a bite. This makes JJ freeze and look at you like you have two heads.

“What?” You say with your mouth full.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Don’t knock it till you try it,” You say and give him a look to do it.

JJ reluctantly picks up the fry and dunks it into his milkshake. He looks at the fry questioningly before popping it into his mouth. Somehow the sweetness of the milkshake and the saltiness of the french fry complement each other beautifully and his widen in pleasant surprise.

“Oh wow,” JJ says.

“Told you,” You smirk.

You spend the next hour catching up, trying to fit the last three years into an hour. JJ does most of the talking because you want to know more about what John B, Pope, and JJ have been up to. Your life was so boring and depressing, you didn’t want to bore JJ with the details.

You drive JJ home and talk for a few minutes more when you park. He seems to be procrastinating getting out of the car, but you don’t mind. You could talk to him all night, suddenly not feeling tired anymore.

“All right. I’ll let you get home before the sun rises,” He says and opens the door. He pauses when his feet hit the ground and he looks back at you. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I have to work at the shop, why?”

“Well, there’s a storm coming in. John B and I might go out to surf the surge before it hits. You still surf?”

You scoff. “Do I still surf?”

JJ holds his hands up in surrender. “Just checking. You think you can handle the surge?”

“Let’s not forget who the better surfer is, JJ.”

“I didn’t. It’s still me.”

“You wish.”

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Now you have a point to prove. You have to show JJ that you’re still the better surfer.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” You agree.

“Great, it’s a date.” He winks and shuts the door before you can tell him otherwise.

You giggle to yourself as JJ walks up the front yard and stay there until he you see he gets in safely.

You pull out of the driveway, wishing he had asked you out on a real date. One that didn’t involve John B.

Tag list: @super-funky-bisexual @sunsetswithjj @moniamaybank @throwawayfish @poguestyle17 @5am-cigarette @jjpouggues @fly-away-from-here @buckys2thicc

#JJ Imagine #jj fic #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj obx #jj fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #outer banks imagine #outer banks imagines #outer banks fic #jj maybank one shot

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angelssdecay · 3 years

Text

Why Xiao isn’t just some edgelord, an essay by yours truly (or: I need sleep)

Before you read!!

This was mainly written because I kind of got tired of Xiao being labelled as ‘edgelord’ a lot of times and while I have nothing against it when it’s jokingly said (after all I call Childe a ‘clown’ all the time or Klee ‘Arson child’ haha, you get what I mean) I also feel like him getting meme’d as that leads to a lot of mischaracterization. I’m not here to attack anyone or anything!! Just sharing my personal thoughts about him influenced by his canon lore in game + headcanons I developed while writing fics for him. I hope you don’t mind my brainrot.

- I suppose that a lot of Xiao’s characterization as an ‘edgelord’ comes from his wildly dark history and the way he expresses himself (like growling when he’s thinking about his past memories) that is quite different from other characters in Genshin when he’s not like this because he wants to but because he’s been shaped by his trauma that reaches wide into the past and the fact that he doesn’t belong in the human world - he is stuck in the mortal world while having to defend it from otherworldly beings and forces that threaten to destroy the fragile balance between both worlds, and it’s a task he fulfils with pride because it was given to him by Rex Lapis, the god who saved him from his former master –

- an evil deity who had abused and used him and forced him to commit atrocities that still haunt him to this day; he never wanted to kill, he never wanted to have to take away someone’s dreams but he was helpless to resist and in the end he stained his hands with so much more blood than he ever wanted to - taking his trauma and the way he talks about it and labelling it as ‘edgy’ is plain disregarding towards the pain he went through in his early years when his innocence was stolen from him and then utterly destroyed until Rex Lapis saved him and gave him his life back, a duty he can be proud of and the chance to regain a bit of his former gentleness because that’s who he is deep inside: a kind and gentle soul that never wants to hurt anyone

- not to mention the trauma he experienced by having to watch the only family he ever had, the other Yakshas, perish one after another – whether it was because they were consumed by the darkness they fought and killed one another or because they died in battle – he wasn’t able to save any of them and while it’s never talked about in-game lore I doubt that their deaths didn’t leave a mark on him that lasts till today. To be heralded as the last Yaksha is surely not a title that Xiao is proud or happy about. - to get to his character trait of him usually keeping his sentences curt and to the point (like his good morning line ‘’We're wasting time. Let's go.’’) and him growling when he thinks about his sorrowful past that probably made people label him as edgy – does it really surprise anyone that he doesn’t talk like humans from Teyvat talk when he’s a) not human and b) has spent almost all of his life in solitude? - which would obviously lead to him being extremely used to dealing with emotions and humans; despite having such a kind and selfless heart (more to that later) but he’s just not used to conversing with humans - mainly because Adepti need to keep their distance from humans lest their adeptal energy will harm them - when Xiao kept his distance from humans all these years, it was for their own good (something he says during the first meeting with the traveller and something I think he firmly believes in because past encounters with humans never went well for them and again, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone and certainly not humans) - and while he’s gotten used to living in solitude I don’t think he actually enjoys having to live like this – he’s incredibly lonely and suffers from it - and just like every living being he longs to have someone to talk to and who understands him, even appreciates him although this is something he wouldn’t dare to wish for because it’s something that can’t be fulfilled (Lumine: sikes you thought you can stay alone forever, yeah too bad for you I’m here for you now) - it was stated in the article about Xiao and his creation process how curious he is about the human world despite trying to hide it from others (and himself too because longing for something you can’t have or take part in hurts like hell and god knows he’s experienced enough in his life) - but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t yearn to experience those feelings of warmth and love that most humans as well - and when I say love I don’t necessarily mean romantic love although I don’t count it impossible for him (though it would take a long time for him to break down his own walls and find the courage to love and be hurt, and I think abrupt love confessions would frighten him because he simply never experienced it before – a life of bloodshed and battle certainly don’t help with understanding his own or other hearts) - no, what I mean are the different kinds of love he’s seen humans share with each other – a mother’s love when she puts her child to bed with a goodnight kiss, a friend’s platonic love when they hug their friend who’s sad or simply out of joy – it’s all things he never got to experience for himself but secretly longs to experience as well (fight me on that because I’ll die on that hill) - and this also leads to me firmly believing that he doesn’t hate humans no matter how often he ‘mocks’ traditions and customs – it’s mainly to hide his own curiosity and longing to join them knowing that he doesn’t belong with humans. But he certainly doesn’t hate them no matter his words because you can’t guard and protect someone without loving and caring for them. If he truly despised humans he would have never risked his life and soul for as long as he has to protect them. - and he knows that he will never receive any gratitude for the suffering he endures, nor that anyone will pray to him, or even pray for him to come home from battle safely – all he has left by now is himself and his duty he proudly continues to fulfil to honour his fallen comrades and his contract with Zhongli – and yet he keeps fighting such a thankless and seemingly endless battle without any complaints or lamenting his cruel fate; if that isn’t kindness then I really don’t know anymore - not to mention that if he truly was an ‘edgelord’ he’d be lamenting his cruel fate or curse at everything for forcing him to live such a life devoid of any warmth and joy – but he doesn’t. Because no one survives thousands of years with a heart full of hatred and no one understands that better than him who has fought against the lingering wrath and hatred of fallen gods. - and while Xiao himself doesn’t believe that he is kind (after all both his hands and soul are stained by blood, he’s nothing more but a weapon or so he would say if someone told him he’s kind) it’s his selfless and devoted nature and his love for the simple things in life – a nice dish of Almond Tofu, flowers, the soft tunes of a flute - that make him such a gentle soul – he just doesn’t realize nor acknowledges that part of himself - so if someone loves him they have to love all the cracks in his soul and try to pour their light into them, be patient with him because it will take him a very long time to get used to all these feelings, to the reassurance that he is loved and also deserves to be loved, after all this is so foreign to him and very likely to frighten him but in return he will love unconditionally and be forever loyal as he is loyal to the land he continues to protect

...and what more could anyone ask for, right?

#xiao #genshin xiao #character analysis #uh it's just my usual brainrot #please don't mind me #i'm a clown #genshin impact

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justkending · 3 years

Text

Moral of the Story. Chapter Five.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all these years to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of old loves and lives all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count: 3200+

Chapter Five:

Once the meeting was done and over, Bucky and Y/N both left at the same time. Bucky was kind enough to hold the door open for her as they made their way back to the street, but Y/N’s goal was to get back to her car as quick as possible. So she gave him a curt thank you and moved quickly to leave.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouted just as she was less than 10 feet away. She paused with a cringe on her face before turning back to him. He was walking hesitantly to catch up with her. “Listen, I know it’s been a few years.”

“A few is an understatement,” she mumbled and he heard, but decided to move on.

“I just- I,” he stuttered. What the hell was he doing? “Would you want to get coffee? Catch up some? I-,” Before he could finish, she cut him off.

“Listen, as great as that sounds,” she tried to say nicely, but he could see the nerves in her face. “I actually have plans right after this.” He deflated some in his spot. She noticed and though she thought she wouldn’t care if she hurt him after all these years, something deep down proved that thought was wrong. “I-I just haven’t seen my family in a while, and the little time I have left here this weekend, I wanted to spend time with them where I could.”

“Right, right,” Bucky tried to brush off unbothered, but failed. “I’m sure your dad misses you, and you him.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years. That and I haven’t been back in the city in 10 years, so I have a lot to catch up on,” she nodded.

“Wait, you haven’t been back here in 10 years?” he asked shocked. He thought she had a least been in town throughout the years. Even if he hadn’t seen her.

“Um, yeah. I kinda…” she hesitated, but figured where would the truth hurt? “Guess I wasn’t ever really ready to get back here.” Bucky knew what she meant even if she wasn’t saying it verbatim, and it hurt his heart knowing he was the cause. Well, I guess both of them were, not just him. “That plus starting up Horizon, it was hard the first few years. But the family still sees each other for the holidays.”

“That’s right. Colorado,” Bucky nodded.

Y/N had kept forgetting for some reason that Bucky and her father were with each other at least once a week most of the time. Always hanging out and doing guy things, or really, father and son types of things. Meaning he knew of, if not actually knew, Sherri, Denise, John, and Chloe too. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t know about the yearly Colorado trip.

“Right,” Y/N nodded with pursed lips, putting it all together and Bucky realized.

“Oh, God sorry. I promise I’m not stalking you, it’s just your dad and I-” he started to defend his knowledge.

“It’s fine James, really,” she said with a wave of her hand and a slight chuckle. One he never expected coming from her. And the name… He wasn’t sure the last time he heard her say Bucky. As soon as they decided to bring an end to their relationship, that nickname never passed her lips again. “I know you and my dad are close.”

“You’re not upset at that?” he asked, slightly confused.

“I’m not evil. No matter how much you may think,” she mumbled the last part. “I-I… I know the relationship you two share. You’ve had it since the beginning of time practically. I wouldn’t dream to take that from either of you.”

Bucky didn’t respond. Because all he could do was look at her with a longing look. God, he missed her. Sure he held some anger from where they ended things, but he had moved on for the most part. Now he just missed his best friend. The girl he grew up loving. From best friends to girlfriend, to eventually fiance and wife. He missed her. Just who she was as a person when resent wasn’t a feeling she had toward you.

Sure, it was a lot to think back on in just the thought that she still cared for him enough not to banish her father from him, but it spoke volumes for who she was as an individual and he missed that.

“I mean not that I really have a say in other people’s life, but if I did, I wouldn’t do such a thing,” she looked down, fidgeting in her spot seeing him staring at her like earlier all over again.

“I know you wouldn’t,” he responded, quickly noticing his stare and looking down at his own shuffling feet. “Well, in that case, I’ll let you go. Thomas has been excited beyond measures to have you home. I won’t keep you from him.”

She nodded as they made eye contact again and started to turn back to her car. But before she could get too far, knowing this may be the last time he sees her again for a while, if not ever, he had to say it.

“Y/N?” She turned at her name and sent him a questioning look. “I’m glad you’re doing ok. You seem to really be taking the world by storm like you always were going to,” he smiled softly and she blushed some before returning the smile.

“Thank you, James. You too. You seem like you’re doing some pretty amazing things yourself,” she nodded once.

They didn’t speak more than that, but instead walked back to their cars. Not without a second glance here and there.

___________________

“So? How did it go?” Thomas asked as soon as Y/N walked in through the garage door. Him and Sherri sitting at the breakfast nook with cups of coffee in hand and wide eyes ready for all the details.

“It went,” she responded, throwing her purse on the island bar stool and going to make a mug for herself.

“Wow, such a colorful description. Anything more and she’d be over doing it,” Thomas exaggerated, getting a giggle from Sherri who stood up and joined Y/N’s side grabbing the creamer and sugar for her.

“Come on now, sis. Good? Bad? Magical?” she added the last word with flare.

“Anything besides magical,” she sent a playful glare to the woman. “I will say this though.” She walked over and sat with a huff in the nook across from her father, practically deflating in her seat. “I am still technically Mrs. Barnes.”

“What?!” they both gasped.

“How?” Thomas pushed on.

“Well I guess the meeting today was just to update the papers and nothing else. I mean, yeah. A few signatures here and there, but it’s not finalized.”

“So it was just an revision meeting? When’s the final cut?” Sherri asked, leaning on the back of Thomas' chair. The two watching their daughter with intrigued eyes.

“A few days?” she said more in a question. “Matthew, our new lawyer, said him and his partner are going to update them within the next day or so, and then send us the final write up to sign. After we send those back in, it’ll all be settled.”

“You still going to have John overlook everything for extra measures?”

“Never hurts. I really would rather NOT go through all this mess again. Getting divorced once sucks, but twice? Yeah, I’d rather not have to do it a third time. And all with the same man,” Y/N sighed heavily before taking a long chug of her coffee.

The couple ahead of her sending each other a silent message to the other. Y/N hadn’t noticed as she closed her eyes at the upcoming headache, and even if she had, she wouldn’t have time to question it as her phone started going off.

Looking down, she saw the office calling her. On a Saturday?

“I have to take this. I’ll be back in one second,” she groaned, taking her coffee mug with the buzzing phone to the back patio. “Hello?”

“Y/N! Hey, I have a quick update,” Melody’s voice came through the other line.

“Why are you at the office on a Saturday?” Y/N said a little sternly, but good intentions were behind it.

“I got an email from our recycle plant we had scheduled for that Monday meeting and it couldn’t wait until Monday,” she was quick to explain. “But listen. They had to reschedule. The main guy and his wife, the bosses of the vendure who was coming to discuss the offers, had a family emergency come up and asked if they could postpone it a week.”

“Um, yeah sure. That’s fine,” Y/N shook her head trying to run the schedule through her mind. “Did you contact Bee’s Knees and let them know about the postponement?”

“Yes, and they said they were fine with it as well.”

“Ok, good,” Y/N nodded. “So I have a clear schedule besides background work Monday. Is that all?”

“Well…” Melody drug out.

“Why does that sound like a Natasha kind of ‘well’,” Y/N questioned with a quirked eyebrow. This wasn’t receptionist or assistant talk about to happen.

“Speaking of Nat, we thought because that was your only big meeting for the week and everything else is normal for the rest of the week, you should extend your stay in Brooklyn,” she replied.

“What?”

“Come on. We both agree you haven’t seen your family in far too long, and a weekend trip isn’t going to cut it. That plus, Nat made a good point that you have tons of old friends you haven't seen in way too many years either,” she went on. “Why rush catching up with everyone, if all the work you need to do can be done on your laptop from Brooklyn? That and for once, your schedule isn’t overstacked with meeting after meeting. That happens once every few months. Plus, you’re already in New York!”

“Ok, ok. Calm down there, Sparky,” Y/N chuckled at her friend being out of breath. “I mean I guess, you’re not wrong…”

“She can’t be. I’m the one who came up with all this,” Nat’s voice broke in.

“Oh, yeah. I may or may not be hanging out with Nat and Yelena,” Melody giggled bashfully. “Or be partially tipsy.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the three, but couldn’t stop the laugh from coming out of her own mouth.

“You sneaky little bitches,” Y/N chuckled.

“What can I say? We’re Romanoff’s,” Nat smirked through the phone.

“Well, I’m a Hill, but Romanoff by descent,” Melody added in.

Again, another joking eye roll.

“Now I have to change my flights and everything,” Y/N sighed.

“Oh, woes me,” Nat mocked. “What a challenge it must be to log into your computer and change a flight to another week…”

“Hey, smartass,-”

“Lucky for you, you have me. I state once again,” Nat laughed. “I already checked into your flights to see if we can get a cheap reschedule.”

“How’d you know my login information?” Y/N asked, confused.

“I have my ways, now don’t interrupt,” she scolded before continuing. “I was able to find you a flight around the same time, plenty of time to get to your rescheduled meeting, and it won’t cost you a hair off that pretty head of yours.”

“How’d you manage that?” Y/N asked with a smirk of her own now and a pop of her hip.

“I’ll say it again since apparently you’re deaf. I have. My ways,” the red head replied.

“You sure you weren’t a spy in another life or something? Because sometimes you and Yelena have some strange tricks up your sleeves that I’ve only seen done in movies.”

“I would like the answer to that as well. Like how they coroerced me into a girls night while I was hiding in my apartment trying to take a relaxing night to read,” Melody spoke up.

“Drink your juice, babygirl,” Yelena’s voice came quietly in the back.

“With all that being said, we are gonna to let you go. We’re going to get all the details of last night out of this little one and go to a few clubs,” Nat explained.

“Oh, I’d love to hear the details when you have them,” Y/N laughed.

“I’ll have a nice 5 page paper ready for you tomorrow morning,” Yelena yelled from a distance.

“I’ll be expecting it. Now you girls go have a good time and please show Melody what she’s missing out on!”

“Can do, boss lady! Love you! See you next week!”

With that, the phone call ended and Y/N looked at the empty lock screen.

“I guess we’re staying a little longer.”

________________

“So, how’d it go?” Steve asked coming home from his early half shift.

Bucky was sprawled across the couch with a pillow over his face, a sports playback running in the background and a beer that looked like he had been nursing all afternoon on the coffee table.

“She looks great,” he mumbled into the cushion, but Steve couldn’t syfer the words.

“You’re going to have to say that again without a throw pillow over your face,” he chuckled, kicking off his shoes and throwing his keys by the door before heading to the nearby kitchen.

“I said, she looks great!” Bucky all but grunted as he sat up. Frustration and annoyance clear in his answer.

“And why do you sound like that’s a horrible thing?” Steve laughed again from the distance.

Bucky groaned as he stood up and walked into the other room with Steve. He was parading through the fridge for an afternoon snack, or by the looks of the clock on the oven, lunch.

It was 12:30 already?

“Because Steve, it makes it hurt all the more,” he pouted, crossing his arms as he leaned against the island in the middle of the space.

“Her looking good, hurts you?” Steve asked, standing up with a tupperware bowl of leftovers in his hand.

“I don’t know!” Bucky sneered at him, angry that his best friend wasn’t catching on to his feelings that even he didn’t understand. “I guess deep down, I was hoping she didn’t age well so that walking away would be easier. But there she was, walking in like fine wine. All mature and curvy, and… Perfect…” he mumbled the last part. “She did smack me though,” he added, thinking back with a dazed face.

“Smack you?” Steve chuckled, popping the cold food in the microwave.

“Our lawyer is blind. I asked a simple question of out of all the states to live in, why New York in that kind of condition?” Bucky said, hating how it sounded. “I realize now, after processing it, that was stupid and rude.”

“Hence why she smacked you,” Steve laughed, copying the brunette's stance on the opposite counter. “You’re an occupational therapist, Buck. Out of all the things to understand, it’s people adapting to their handicaps and disabilities.” He couldn’t help the laugh at his friend who seemed oblivious to the irony.

“I was nervous, ok?!” Bucky defended, throwing his arms up and going to pace the room now. “Y/N and I had been sitting in awkward silence for the most part of the meeting so far, and that was the first piece of conversation that came to mind.”

“I’m hoping for your sake, he wasn’t a dick about it.”

“He wasn’t. He actually said he gets asked that a lot. Apparently, he hasn’t been blind all his life and said he’s lived here all that time. Helps when you grow up in the environment you live in.”

“Very true,” Steve agreed, grabbing his food and stirring it around before taking a bite and talking again. “Besides her looking ‘perfect’, did the process go well? You know, besides her reprimanding you like a mom?”

“Ha ha. You’re so funny,” Bucky deadpanned. “But yes. We signed our things and updated it all. Hey, did you know she’s a co-founder of Nat’s woman’s home? I guess not a co-founder, but investor?”

Steve finished his bite and shook his head. “Can’t say I did. It must be recent if that’s the case because neither Nat or Y/N told me about that.”

“I think it is, but damn…”

“Damn what?” Steve asked.

“Well, at first she had me dropping my jaw at the fact that she did everything and more that she had hoped to do. She’s become an environmentalist like her grandmother and has started a whole business based on it.”

“I mean she was an environmentalist as soon as her GG had her walking. Remember how she would always take our straws at restaurants and have the waitress take them back so we didn’t ‘kill the turtles’? And that was before that was a like a worldwide trend,” Steve remenised, moving to the living room to eat at the couch. Bucky following.

“God, yes. She started carrying like 10 reusable straws with her as soon as they came out with them. That and remember the amount of reusable bags she had in her backseat any given time of the week?” Bucky laughed, joining him in thinking back to the dated memories.

“So many she would hand them out to people in parking lots at grocery stores to use themselves,” Steve added. “God, she really loves this planet. I admire her passion though. We need everyone to have a heart for our home like that.”

“She made it everyone's mission around her to know just how important it was,” Bucky smiled at the thought as he looked off in the distance, wrapped in the memories he loved. But that wasn’t the point. The point was he would never be close with her like that again. What they had was done and over… Or would be. “Funny thing actually…” Bucky chuckled awkwardly.

“What’s that?” Steve asked, looking at the TV in front of him.

“We may or may not still be married…”

There was a pause as Steve stopped mid-chew and slowly turned his gaze from the baseball reruns on the screen to Bucky with a tight smile.

“Excuse me?”

“I guess that wasn’t the endgame for today’s meeting…”

“What was?”

“Getting things updated and signed so that the papers were actually ready for our divorce,” Bucky answered.

“So she’s still Y/N Barnes?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t say that to her face. She looks like she wants to physically throw up when you call her that,” Bucky slouched in his chair. His hand coming up to cover his face as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger.

“So still married?”

“Still married.”

“How long?” Steve sighed, putting his food on the counter and leaning back in his own seat.

“As long as it takes to make up the new divorce settlements and get them signed and sent back in. Until then… I’m a married man.”

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask! It keeps things more organized for me. If you comment, I most likely will not add because I loose them:)

- Tags will be closing soon.

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae @lonerlovescompany @jessyballet @angstysebfan @tita127 @semistablecentenarian @im-a-light-child @alyssahowden @studiesinspanish @natyvwe @rebekahdawkins @fanfictionjunkie1112 @millennial-teenybopper @scotlandasshole @aquariusbarnes @shinykoalacat

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @pham-tastical @livstilinski

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk @princess-annna

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kuekyuuq · 3 years

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I have to ask...

Where do the anti-supercorp people get the idea from that Lena Luthor is xenophobic?

Are we watching the same show?

I can see how one does not like Lena.

I can see how some of Lena's actions can be considered irredeemable.

I can see that her family was/is xenophobic.

I can agree she made some horrible mistakes in judgement.

Canon told us:

Lena was fired by Lex from LuthorCorp because he thought her naive about her pro-alien stance. The same brother who analysed Lena since she was four.

Lena was horrified when Lex tied her to a chair and made her watch his attempt to kill Superman by turning the sun red

Lena came to National City in hopes to work with Supergirl (an alien)

Lena actively re-branded LutherCorp to LCorp to get rid of the anti-alien stuff and everything else people connected with the Luthor name

Yes, Lena created an alien-detector, but her intention was one out of ignorance (of the backlash this could cause), not of hate - when Kara much later explains the potential bad the item could cause, Lena is very much listening

Lena helps Kara on several occasions, using her intel and providing it to Kara, so Kara can investigate and write articles to dismantle anti-alien organisations (e.g. Veronica Sinclair's fight club, Cadmus)

Lena helps Supergirl on several occasions, using her intel and providing it to Supergirl, so Supergirl can dismantle anti-alien organisations

Lena actively seeks to dismantle Cadmus - the anti-alien group - even before Lena started suspecting Lillian to be involved

Lena schemes against Lillian to use Medusa to kill all aliens on Earth

Lena testified both against her alien-hating mother and brother

As soon Lillian told Lena about Lex' former facilities, she starts looking into them - they are well hidden, so it does take her a while (and by this date in the show, she may still not have unearthed all of them) - and dismantles many of them / continues to give Kara/Supergirl information about them (e.g. when Kara asks Lena for tech to find missing aliens, Lena offers to look into L-Corp (= former LutherCorp) database to search for anything useful for that particular cause

Lena encourages Kara strongly to find a way to warn all aliens about the alien registration manifest being leaked - she inspired Kara to "blob"

When Lillian finds out Lena is pro-alien and helping find the abducted aliens, she has her goons try to scare her off ("nothing permanent" - the goons accidentally threw Lena off her balcony...) - even her own family sees how non-xenophobic Lena is

Lena sacrifices Jack (her former boyfriend and still potential romantically involved one) to save Supergirl (the alien) - and (rightfully) blames the human woman, who controlled Jack, for it

When Lena suspects and confirms Rhea to be an alien, she cuts ties with her - because Rhea lied to her, not because she's an alien

Lena starts working with Rhea (confirmed alien) again - to help aliens who "weren't as lucky" as Rhea's people and to further and better Earth technologies; reduce environmental damages by infrastructure / good transports / traffic.... only to be betrayed by Rhea.

Lena learns Mon-El, Kara's boyfriend, was Daxamite and has zero issues about it

Lena has no issue with Sam being half-alien, but with the Reign-half being a huge menace to Earth, so tries to stop her and save Sam

The DEO kept Kryptonite in case any of the Supers went rogue - like Batman and Oliver Queen kept theirs - Lena kept and created Kryptonite and Harun-El to ...cure cancer; to fight against sicknesses, to use as a clean energy-source, to... do good things

...yes, she lied about it. But, her not-so-wrong reasoning was "if I tell, they will take it away. If they take it away, I won't be able to do good with it."

Lena rather had Supergirl drop her than chemicals that could have harmed thousands (human and alien)

Lena becomes quick allies and friends with Brainy (admitably, in many ways he's more AI than alien...) and befriends Nia later on, too

What else does Lena do with her stash of Kryptonite and the knowledge she gained from it? When Mercy & Otis Graves irradiate Earth's atmosphere with Kryptonite, Lena already has created an anti-Kryptonite suit for Supergirl and the fact it’s already at hand saves Supergirl’s life!

That's only up to season four...

Yes, Lena did shitty stuff in season five. Arguably, for the right reasons, but ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’... But were any of those things xenophobic?

The problem she has with Kara in season five is NOT because she’s an alien - but because she felt betrayed, personally. Rightfully so? Eeeeeeeh.... while it surely must have hurt to learn your best friend lied to you and played two personalities, at times taking advantage of it, too - which, let’s be honest, Kara did - Kara did have her reasons (initially), it IS selfish for Lena to assume the worst and take the fact itself so personally. But, everybody lives in their own world, I am sure - dear few readers, who took it upon yourselves to read this monster of a post - we can agree, that we all judge the world and others based on our own perceived reality, based on our own experiences, emotions and circumstance, whether we try to be better than that or not... I’d even make the argument, Lena is more upset with her intimate friend “Kara” (whom she shared her most intimate thoughts and feelings with) having lied to her, than with “Supergirl” taking advantage of her. Being played, Lena can deal with, but trusting and seeing that trust shattered... low blow. Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but to my knowledge, the only time Lena uses Kara being an alien against her, is when she uses and reworks the Fortress of Solitude's already existing settings to trap Kara in there for long enough for herself to get a head-start on getting Myriad to work (how else was she supposed to achieve that?). Myriad, which she wanted to use to STOP hate, including racism (xeno-cism?). Brainwashing everyone is most certainly a veeeeeeery misguided approach, but the premise of ending all hate and the resulting pain is very much like the notion of "praying for world peace" - just that Lena got sick of praying and decided to actually go ahead and do something about it ((again: notion good; (attempted) execution horrifying)).

Even Lena trapping Malefic was to that very end. She trapped Eve (human) as well on that line of thought. At the least, she offered Malefic a deal to his liking as payment...? Eve on the other hand....

If anything, Lena is people-phobic. She has a hard time trusting anyone, remains suspicious to a fault. ...she did effectively kill Eve on Earth-38, though, by over-writing her with Hope.

Kara forgave her aunt, who came just as close, wanting to use Myriad for very similar purposes - and then forgave Lena, eventually, just as much. The difference being, Astra died. We never got to see if Astra would have actually stopped her plan, convinced Non, and/or would have aimed / worked hard to redeem herself...

In the same episode, where Lena's attempts with Myriad failed (and Hope took the fall) Malefic, who had tried to murder multiple people as part of his revenge against his brother (and had targeted Kelly for a while, too) was set free by J'onn and sent to Mars to do good there.

The whole of National City forgave Supergirl (and her potential for going bad and for her causing actual destruction) only a week after the redK incident...

All that said:

1) Lena lied to Kara and played her. Sure, Lena felt betrayed and from her point of view, with her set of experiences and her own preexisting many traumas and (very bad) coping mechanisms, it was... well, understandable... or at least traceable. But, forgivable? That's ultimately up for her victim (Kara) to decide. And, apparently, she does forgive her. Not easily. But she does; understands both sides, evaluates, listens to others, observes the remorse, and makes her own decision / judgement... which is (initially, tentative) forgiveness.

2) The show is REALLY BAD at dealing with characters' actions’ or events' consequences. Period. There is no real consistency, 'cept that things don't have real repercussions. That is how the writers decided to write the show from season one on. If the writers think Kara forgives Lena and show it, then that's that.

3) Every time I read the notion that Lena was/is xenophobic, I can't help but wonder if anyone who claims such even watched the show.

4) Lena is not her brother. She's flawed. She makes mistakes. But for once, Lena and her character are suffering the consequences. That may not enough for the liking of Lena Luthor haters, or anti-Supercorp taggers, but it is what it is - and it is much more than most any actual bad guy had to suffer through. Bad guys with evil intentions, (mass) murderers, people (alien and human) that rationally caused lasting harm and/or trauma to their victims.

5) Lena is not xenophobic.

Kue out.

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emmies-archives · 3 years

Text

Heads and Tails

Genre: Fluff, Angst, College AU

Warnings: Aged up, smut, drinking, blowjobs, good old fashion drunk hookup, self degrading at one point, ahhh non descriptive smut....

Wordcount: 6.8k (my bad)

Summary: You slowly become best friends with Noya. One night you get drunk with him and Tanaka and it leads to drunk confessions. You two start dating afterward, you try to surprise him one day by at practice but his old feelings for Kiyoko bring out your insecurities when you see him talking to her.

A/N: This took wayyy to long to write, and it’s a lot longer than I expected. First piece for Haikyuu and I was drinking wine while writing most of it so please forgive typos. The ending is ehh because I just wanted to get it finished.

Inspired by a rp with @astrid-thirsts (....... Its not as much angst as I said)

You couldn’t remember the last time you were excited for a volleyball game. They weren’t something new you went to. You had always watched Karasuno’s boys team play, ever since you were little. Fond memories filled your thoughts whenever you thought about going to the matches. For a while though, there was something missing. The excited cheers from fans started to dwindle and you found less and less seats being filled. There were no longer group hugs when the team won. Replaced with hung heads and silent tears. But you kept going. Even as the boy’s losses stacked against them so high it cast a shadow big enough to drown them. Things started to change this year.

Rumors floated around the school pretty quickly. Apparently, there were knew recruits on the team and they had pretty good potential. It piqued your interest. If there was a chance that the team could start building back the foundation it once had, you wanted to be there to see it.

You decided to take the long way back to your dorm one day. It gave you a chance to walk by the gym where volleyball practice was held. You walked for a while, a tinge of excitement pooling in your stomach at the thought of maybe getting to see the team up close. For years you had watched them from high up in the bleachers. The only constant as the members came and went.

As the gym came into view, you slowed your pace. A part of you wanted to peek through the doors. With a sudden burst of courage, you went up to the doors. The few steps seemed like forever. Reaching a hand out to push one side open, your heart jumped when it slide open right when you touched it. The first thing you saw was a pair of bright brown eyes. The boy tilted his head a bit and you noticed a towel wrapped around his neck.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?”

That was one of the first times you had actually spoken to him, you weren’t even sure if he had known your name before. You weren’t a stranger to Nishinoya. He was in a few of your classes; you had just never really talked to him all that much. You didn’t know if it was the fact he was on the volleyball team, or that you had a huge crush on him but, it even thinking of talking to him made you nervous. I wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk to him, he was just overwhelming. Constantly full of energy, lighting up whatever room he walked into. The idea of just walking up to him and striking a conversation was intimidating. So, when one day you got paired together for a project you didn’t know if you were excited or scared.

It was easy to talk to him. A lot easier than you expected. Something about him always drew you in, even if he was going on and on about the volleyball team for the fifteenth time in the hour. The playful energy that exuded from him held a welcoming arm out to you. Like it was offering everything you’d ever wanted, even if he didn’t realize it. But you took it. Grabbed its hand and ran.

Its grasp eventually led to more nights spent with him, even after the work necessary for the project was finished. It sort of became the new norm for you. After his evening practice, you would either go to his dorm or he’d come to yours. The conversations came easier, shifting from class and volleyball to shared hobbies. You learned more about him than you ever thought you would. Every time you left his dorm, your head swarmed with the memories of the night. The entire walk home felt like you were floating, and you kind of felt ridiculous for it. The way your heartbeat sped up when he was close, or how your eyes lingered on him when he wasn’t looking shouldn’t happen. Especially because you weren’t sure if you’d ever get the courage to tell him your feelings. Little did you know, Nishinoya felt the same way.

He started to rush through the end of practice just so he could see you after. Just spending time with you was the best part of his day. He didn’t realize what his feelings were, just that he was happy when he was with you. It wasn’t until he brought you up to Tanaka at practice for the fifth day in a row did he slowly start to think different about you. Tanaka didn’t help either, teasing him about if that’s the reason he left practice early. If you knew about that, Nishinoya was sure you’d chew him out.

Your love for volleyball was only one of the things that drew him in. It was the way you always found the good in something, even if it felt like the world was ending at the time. One time he came texted you about a test in one of his classes, his grade ended up being a lot lower than expected and he was a little annoyed. You just offered to help him study for the next one, wanting to make him feel better. To him it felt like the entire weight was lifted off his shoulders just with that one response. There were other things too, of course. You were incredibly beautiful, catching his eye before you even became friends.

Months went by and the two of you fell in routine. He would meet you halfway between his dorm and yours before classes, walking you to yours which barely left him any time to make it to his. You told him you were fine when he mentioned it to you on accident one morning, but each day he stood under the same lamppost waiting for you. Slowly, without meaning to, you fell in love with him. But it didn’t feel like falling. It was more like stepping into a warm embrace.

“Yuu?” Your voice was quiet as you called his name for the second time in the past few minutes. Slightly amused you nudged him with your foot under the table, trying to get his attention. “Nishinoya?!”

“Oh, sorry!” He set his phone on the table, a goofy grin on his face when he looked up at you. “Did you need something?”

“I was helping you with your Algebra homework. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“You’re going to be pretty disappointed then, because I haven’t done a problem in at least a half hour.” You couldn’t even be mad at him; all you could do was shake your head. He promised he’d work on his homework for the next hour. He lasted maybe ten minutes before groaning and pushing the paper away from him. “This is too boring. It’s a Friday, we should go out and have some fun!”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Wanna get drunk?”

Three hours later, after an embarrassing little bit of Nishinoya watching you get ready as he laid on your bed, you ended up in Tanaka’s dorm room. Drink in hand you sat in his desk chair as Nishinoya and him sit on the ground in front of you.

This wasn’t what you thought when he mentioned getting drunk, but it was fun, nonetheless. You preferred this. Nishinoya was a popular guy so you figured he’d bring you to one of the clubs near campus, but this felt different. Maybe even special. Just you two and his best friend. Something about it was heartwarming. Until Tanaka brought up their manager again. It had been so many times the night already that you were tired of hearing about it.

“I’m telling you, y/n. It is better when she ignores me!” Tanaka yelled emphasizing his words by throwing his arm out, causing his drink to slosh over the edge of the cup.

“Really? I would’ve thought that being ignored would hurt.” You say, trying not to glance at Nishinoya when you do. Your feelings completely opposite your words.

“No, no it doesn’t. I don’t know how to explain it. Noya! You try for me; I can’t think straight.”

“Ahh, I don’t know man.” You didn’t notice the slight discomfort lining Nishinoya’s words or the way he looked to you as he responded. Already on your fifth drink of the night, you started to feel your head swim past tipsy. You caught his glance smiling into your cup as you drank more of whatever concoction he had made you.

“How’s your drink, y/n?” Nishinoya asked standing to make himself another one.

“Really good actually!” Your voice was louder than you anticipated, making you cringe slightly. “How are you so good at making drinks?”

“I learned my secret from those old Italian grandmas on youtube. I just don’t measure anything, letting my heart decide what to put in it.” All you could do was stare at him as he demonstrated. Tossing random things into his cup, trying not to make a disgusted face at the amount of alcohol you watched him pour.

“Did you… put that much into all my other drinks?” His toothy grin was enough of an answer and you stared into your cup. You hadn’t even tasted the liquor.

Several rounds and a few shots later, it was your turn again. You had brought up the idea to play truth or drink. It was a game you had always played with your girl friends back home, so you decided why not. The amount of alcohol in your system didn’t help either.

“So, y/n.” Tanaka started, you could already see the evil look in his eyes. “Out of everyone on the volleyball team, which one of use would you want to hook up with?”

The question should’ve startled you, it probably would’ve if you hadn’t had the boost of vodka running through your veins and the newfound courage that came with it. Your answer came with no hesitation, you even looked into his eyes as you said it.

“Noya.” Your eyes flicked from his wide eyes to the growing smile on his lips. Not at all aware to the blush that flooded his cheeks.

“Oh, dayum. I thought for sure you’d drink to that one.” Tanaka said but you didn’t really pay attention to his words. Your eyes focused on Nishinoya, feeling like if you ripped them from him. You’d never be able to look him in the eyes again.

“You’re turn, y/n.” Nishinoya’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Not able to tear his eyes away from yours.

Caught up in the moment, you direct your question towards him. “Yu-“

Your words are cut off as Tanaka lets out a loud groan, drawing your attention to him.

“Grossss, you guys can take that shit elsewhere. I’m gonna text Kiyoko again.”

That’s how you found yourself sitting on one of the campus’s benches, your side nearly pressed against Nishinoya.

“Y/n, you look so beautiful under the light from the lamppost.” In your drunken state, you found his normally constant flirting cute. Your cheeks burn lightly from the deep blush resting on them. The two of you sit in silence after that. Neither of your quite ready to go back to your dorms.

“You know, I never got to ask you my question.” You say as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“You’re right, I forgot.” His response was short, but you could hear the hopeful tone swimming in it. “You can ask me now if you still want to.”

“Yuu, will you kiss me?”

“I don’t think that would’ve worked as a question, y/n.” He answered.

“God, just shut up and kiss me.” You quipped back, moving to face him. He didn’t even respond. Cupping your cheek, you both leaned in, you were too impatient to wait for him. The kiss was soft and sweet, ending too soon. You wanted more.

Ten minutes later after dragging him to your dorm you pushed the door open. Thankful you didn’t share it with anyone as you pulled him into the room. You gently pushed him to sit on the bed, sitting on his lap arms wrapped around his neck loosely.

“I wasn’t kidding. He spoke. “You really do look amazing tonight.”

You hummed in response, not trusting your voice. Staring into his warm brown eyes, the fairy lights that light up your room danced in the reflection of them.

“You’re so handsome, Yuu.” Your voice is quiet and uneven as you talk. “You always are, I know I’ve never told you that before.”

“You’re drunk, y/n.” His voice matched yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“It’s your fault, dummy.” You shook your head, laughing at the amount of alcohol he probably put into your drinks, not realizing how fast you would drink them. “I meant what I said you know.”

“Really? I thought that was just for the game, you wouldn’t prefer someone else?” You could see the hope swirling in his eyes.

“Absolutely not. I don’t like anyone else.” You answered while your hands gingerly played with the ends of his hair.

“You like me?” His eyes widened at your statement and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“You didn’t realize?” You asked and he shook his head as his answer. “I thought I made it a little obvious, but yes I do.”

Your voice was nearly a whisper as you leaned in close to him. Breath ghosting over his lips, you could feel him shiver a bit and it put a smile on your face. He didn’t have to respond with words to make you know he felt the same way. Your lips connected again, this time different than before. Rough and passionate. Like he was pouring everything he was holding in into your lips. You did the same, every pent-up emotion you felt for him, every lingering gaze you spent trying to make yourself confess, every single thing.

The kiss became rougher, teeth clashing and noses bumping as you pulled closer to him. Unknowingly grinding your hips down into him at the way his tongue slipped into your mouth. A soft whimper slipping from your lips.

“Yuu..” You breathed out when he pulled away, panting himself.

“Fuck, y/n. Your lips are so soft.” He leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss. You could taste the lingering vodka on his tongue as it danced with yours. Both of you fighting for dominance. He groaned as you pushed your fingers into his hair, tugging gently at it. He jerked his hips up and you could feel him against your core. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You’re just….”

“No, it’s okay.” You said, smiling as you slipped off his lap. Hands sliding down his torso, stopping at his waistband. The tent in his pants already obvious. You looked back up to him, waiting for him to give you some sort of confirmation you could keep going.

He grabbed your hands gently, leaning in to press another short kiss against your lips. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to. Just, let me take care of you.” Confidence flooded your voice in your drunken stupor. He could only nod at your words and you moved your hands lower, palming his hardness through his pants. Enjoying the quiet groans that fall from his lips at the sudden friction. You tug on his waistband and he shifts his hips up, helping you pull his pants down. You move up pressing your lips against his again as you slip your hand into his boxers. Feeling him hiss lightly against your lips at your hand against him.

“Ah, shit-“ You could barely hear his groans as you focused wrapping your hand around his cock, loosely stroking it.

“You’re already so hard, Yuu. Did my answer affect you that much?” He bit his lip nodding again at your words as you worked your hand. A smile tugged at your lips.

You moved down further, placing soft kisses against his abs. Feeling him shudder as you trailed down, stopping at his boxers before pulling them down all the way. His member springing free, slapping against his stomach

“You’re so pretty.” You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock lightly, admiring the way it twitched lightly in your hold before swirling your tongue around the tip as you pumped the rest of his length. Hearing his quiet groans pushed you forward, and you looked up to him, meeting his gaze and you slowly brought more of him into your mouth. Watching as his head fell back through your blurry vision.

“I should be the one saying that, y/n.” He said, his voice unsteady.

You pulled back with a pop, smirking up at him. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you.”

You wait for him to respond before dipping your head back down, taking him into your mouth again. A loud moan fell from his lips as you did, and you had to press your hands into his thighs to keep him from bucking up into your mouth. Once he stilled himself, you started wrapping your fingers around what you couldn’t fit into your mouth. Swiping your tongue over the slit that leaked precum already.

You could feel his thighs twitching under you as you worked your mouth on him. Breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat you pushed your face down until your nose brush against his pelvis. The loud moan that ripped from his throat made you hum approvingly, and you moved your hand to play with his balls. When you pulled away just enough to breathe, he moved his hand to your jaw pulling you up to him.

“Want to cum with you.” Was the only thing he said before pushing up your shirt, helping you take it off. Biting his lip to concentrate on the clasp of your bra that for some reason he just couldn’t figure out. You grabbed his hands gently stopping him before unhooking it yourself throwing it across the room. His heated gaze fell to your chest as he wasted no time in touching you. Squeezing, sucking, nipping. Every time his tongue danced around your sensitive nipples he grew more confident at the soft breathy moans you let out.

He backed up onto the bed, pulling you with him before crawling over you catching your already swollen lips in another rough kiss. You couldn’t stop the whimper the fell from your lips when he ground down into your core. It put a cocky smile on his face, something you weren’t used too.

“Noya, please.”

“What do you want me to do, baby?” His voice was low, and his words were muffled as he kissed down your neck. It was becoming too much, you wanted him. Needed him.

“Fuck me! Pleas-“

You didn’t get to finish your sentence as he pushed your legs open. Swiping the tip up and down your folds a few times before slowly pushing in. Your mouth fell open at the sudden fullness. He didn’t stop until he was bottomed out inside you. You looked up at him once started moving his hips, trying to paint the look on his face into your memory. His eyes blown out in lust as he fucked into you, the way he gritted his teeth trying to quiet the loud moans. It was the last clear image before the night completely blurred.

The next morning you tried recalling the events that occurred, and it only came in slivers. Like an old movie with holes burnt into the film. The pieces that you could interpret left you with memories of giving yourself to Nishinoya, and him to you. Maybe it was a good thing you couldn’t remember clearly. The way your head ached would’ve only been amplified by the weight of what you did last night. You tried not to think it was a mistake, but it was hard not to. Everyone has a drunken hook up once in a while. You’ve had your share, so why would this one be so different?

It was only when Nishinoya shifted beside you were you pulled from your intruding thoughts. You felt your body tense as he slid his arm over your side and bury his face into your shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent. There was a small voice in your head hoping he was still asleep. But it was nothing compared to the way you felt your heart speed up at the simple action. You closed your eyes telling yourself it was to stop your head from hurting, but you really just wanted to stay in this moment as long as you can. The soft, quiet calm before the shit storm you felt was coming. But, he proved you wrong.

Whispering your name softly as if not to wake you. You found yourself unable to answer him. Waiting to see what would happen, what your reaction to this should be. No matter how badly you wanted to be happy that this happened, you would take whatever came. You didn’t expect him to hum softly and feel his soft lips against your bare shoulder as he gently kissed it. Tangling his legs with yours, you felt him gently rubbing your arm. You couldn’t handle it anymore. His sweetness was too much, and you needed to look at him. Shifting in his hold you turned to face him. A small smile pulled at his lips when you did.

“Morning, y/n.” His voice was a bit raspy, and you found your heart speeding up again at the sight of his tussled hair. The memory of tangling your hands in it flashing across your mind and you couldn’t help the blush. “You okay?”

“Mhm. You’re just really hot.” The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, and you groaned a little. “Fuck, ignore that. I’m still asleep.”

Nishinoya “When did we fall asleep?” Your voice was quiet, trying to ignore the way his eyes were lighting up at your touch.

laughed at your plea and shook his head, which made you reach up to push the hair that fell in his eyes.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Was it we fucked for the sec-“

“Yuu!” Your hand covered his mouth, eyes wide at the way he could casually say it. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk about it. Just that you didn’t know where to even start. There were so many things you wanted to talk or ask him about now that you were sober. You just weren’t sure if you had the courage anymore. You dropped your hand and shifted your gaze from him, a little nervous.

“Something wrong? Oh no. You regret last night. I’m so sorry, I knew I should’ve waited to make a move when we were sober. I-“ His face pulled into a panicked stare and he started rambling before you cut him off again.

“No, Yuu. I don’t regret it at all. Not one bit.” You sighed looking back to him, trying to reassure his worry. “You were… really good. I just didn’t know how to talk about it.”

“Oh thank god. I was scared I fucked up.” He relaxed a bit, slipping his hand into yours. It warmed your heart how sweet he was being. “I don’t want to ruin this… whatever this is.”

“Do you remember what I said last night?” You asked meekly, hoping he did so you wouldn’t have to repeat it.

“Which part? You said a lot, most of it sounded like my name actually now that I think.” He laughed when you shoved his arm a little, glaring at him. “I know what you said. About liking me, and I feel the same way for you.”

“Then, what is this?” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you asked, and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. The next part you forced out, not wanting to hear the answer. Fearing it would be something that would hurt. “Is this just a one time thing?”

Nishinoya stared at your for a few seconds, completely silent. It felt like forever and the nervousness that pooled in your stomach started creeping up your body. The worst responses flashed through your head.

“No, I don’t want this to be a one time thing. Or anything casual either.” His voice was steady, and serious. You could tell he meant everything he said. “Do you want to go out with me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Nishi. I want to go out with you.”

“Fuck yeah! Does this mean I can take you out on a date? I’ve been wanting to for a really long time just never thought I could.” He rambled a little and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“A date sounds perfect. If its anywhere other than our dorms, we spend too much time in them.”

“Yes!! I’ve been wanting to for so long, I just never thought you liked me back!” His arm slid around your side again and your felt the urge to bury your face into his chest. He squeezed you tighter when you did. “Can I tell Tanaka? I feel like we owe this to him!”

“Sure. But don’t mention what we did?”

“I cant promise you that.”

You two spent most of the morning and afternoon laying in your bed. There was something about him that made you let your guard down. You could talk to him for hours about random stuff and never get bored. It was a lot nicer in his arms too. You always imagined the way it would feel to be wrapped in his arms. Even when you thought you’d never tell him how you felt. It was nice to imagine though, but it was nothing compared to now.

His usual rough wildness on the court was replaced with a softness you didn’t know his arms had. They were always covered in scratches and bruises from practice. You found yourself tracing the dark marks on his biceps, admiring the contrast against his skin. He had a story for each one. Telling it to you as your finger ran over it, and you could picture each one. You’ve seen him on the court before, he was a fury to reckon with but you didn’t realize how aware he was.

The lazy cuddling only ended when both of your stomachs growled for the third time in thirty minutes. He reached over to your nightstand for his phone, asking if you wanted him to order food in. You were thankful for that, the headache from the lingering hangover still pulsated at the back of your neck.

When the food came, you put on a movie and the two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. You knew there were things you could talk about if you really wanted to, but you found no need to. There was something about just sitting with Nishinoya that made a sort of warm feeling hold in your chest. It was relaxing, and almost familiar.

The next two weeks flew by. Your old routine with Nishinoya quickly turning into a new one. Instead of him asking you to study as an excuse to see you, he was already at your dorm when you got back from your last class. Each time you entered your dorm and found him sitting on your bed waiting for you made your heart soar.

What you felt for him before anything happened only amplified now. Lingering gazes turned into lustful ones, soft brushes became loving embraces. It was amazing. Everything you had dreamed of and more. It wasn’t until you came by one of his practices early to surprise him did the doubt slip into your thoughts.

You pushed open the gym door entering quietly, not wanting to interrupt anything. Your eyes scanned the gym looking for him and once you did, your excitement dropped a little. Him and Tanaka were standing next to their manager, the one Tanaka always went on and on about. It looked completely innocent, they were just talking. But you didn’t miss the way Nishinoya laughed or the bright look on his face as she said something.

You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you didn’t even have to. He looked so excited, the way his face was flushed as he swayed on his feet. It was a simple action, they were only talking so why did it have to feel like this?

He had told you about his crush on her before, but explained it was long gone. That it had been nothing but a simple unrequited crush. But it stung seeing him so happy talking to her. Confliction twisted in your stomach. You didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend to get jealous over other girls, but this somehow felt different.

You went up to the first person next to you and quietly asked them to give the bento box in your hands to Nishinoya. It was their captain. You were a little familiar with him from watching all of their games, you just never talked to him before.

“Don’t tell him I came in. Just if you could say I dropped it off?” Your voice was unsteady and you could feel your hands shaking a little.

“Sure thing. Are you, y/n?” You could only nod as your eyes flicked back to Nishinoya still standing by their manager. “So you’re Noya’s girlfriend! I was wondering when we were going to meet you. I was beginning to think you didn’t exist, but he talks about you so much.”

“Yeah, I am. I didn’t realize he talked about me that much. I’m surprised you’re not sick of it.” You laughed nervously a little, trying not to look at them.

“No, he means no harm. He obviously really cares about you, I’m glad he has someone like you. From what I’ve heard, you seem like an amazing person.”

That hurt. You don’t know why it did, but it pulled at your chest heavily. You tried so badly to fight against the way seeing him over there picked at your brain but it didn’t work. Tanaka’s signature laugh echoed in the gym and your eyes moved to them again. Their manager was gone now, but you saw the way Nishinoya looked after her.

You could feel tears start welling in your eyes and you quickly excused yourself. Moving back toward the doors hoping to whatever gods were out there that Nishinoya didn’t see you leave. But, he did. Just as you slipped out of the door he saw you. You caught his gaze when you looked back one last time and it almost felt like the wind was knocked out of your chest.

Fighting everything inside you screaming to turn around and go to him, you ran the other way. You didn’t know what to even say if you were to go up to him.

“Y/n! Wait up!” Nishinoya yelled behind you and you gritted your teeth. Of course, he’d follow you, that’s just who he was. You slowed your pace knowing he’d catch up any moment. Facing away from him you felt his arms slip around your waist as he hugged you from behind. “Hey, sweetheart. I wasn’t expecting you here.”

You couldn’t say anything. It was like your voice was stuck in your throat even though you desperately wanted to speak. Eyes fixed on something in the distance you tried to wipe the upset expression from your face. Wanting nothing more than to turn and bury your face into him, you felt the frustration building in you.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

The concern in his voice hurt. More than anything else so far. You were being stupid, there was no reason to worry. You knew that so why did you feel so shitty? When you didn’t respond he moved around to face you. The panic was evident on his face when he saw how upset you were.

“Baby, what happened?” His voice was soft, welcoming. You flicked your gaze to his eyes and felt a pang of guilt in your when you saw the worry flooding them. You couldn’t help but look away again.

“Nothing. I just forgot something.” Your voice was quiet, much quieter than you thought it’d be. It wasn’t very convincing, and you knew it.

“You don’t have to lie to me. Did something happen today? Is that why you came to practice?” You had to clench your jaw at his caring words. His hands cupped your face gently and you felt your lip quiver at the touch. Without meaning to, you leaned into his touch. Closing your eyes which made a tear slip from your welling eyes. “Baby, talk to me.”

You shook your head trying to shake his worry. “It’s stupid.”

You knew that wouldn’t work, but you tried. The feeling in your chest, frustration over yourself and the lingering hurt from seeing him in there became too much and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Pushing his hands from your face and burying yourself into his arms. The warmth of them didn’t do much to soothe you this time. It almost had the opposite effect. When he hugged you tightly a sob was ripped from your throat.

Crying was something you never wanted to do in front of him. You knew it would just make him worry, and yet here you were wrapped in his arms as your tears stained his shirt. Guilt tore at you again at that thought. He was supposed to be at practice. This was completely your fault. You shouldn’t have even come here to begin with.

Maybe this was meant to happen. The universes way of showing you that you weren’t meant to be together. You could go back to your old ways, watching silently from the stands while she was down there with him. That thought tore through you hard.

Kiyoko was mesmerizing, there was a softness in everything she did. She was so much better than you in every way. What were you even compared to her? You kept replaying the way he looked at her in your head. He looked so happy. Did he ever look that happy with you? You began questioning everything your thought you had known about your relationship.

“Y/n!” Nishinoya’s voice ripped through your intrusive thoughts and you couldn’t help but gasp. You hadn’t even noticed when you knelt on the ground, completely focused inside your own head.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Yuu. Go back to practice. I know I’m being annoying. I-I’ll go to my dorm, its okay.”

“What? No way, I’m not letting you leave.” He shook his head brows furrowing at your statements and apologies. “Let me help you…”

The way his eyes softened as you looked into them made a fresh wave of tears slip down your face. You found yourself spilling everything you were holding in with them. All your worries and fears, the reason you were crying. The way you felt you weren’t good enough for him.

“I saw you and your manager; I can’t help but think I’m not enough for you.” He didn’t say anything to interrupt your tear-filled rambling. “ You’re so amazing, and kind. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and I just…. Maybe you should be with Kiyoko. She’s so much better than me-“

“Stop.” He suddenly spoke out, “Stop it right now. You don’t get to say that about yourself.”

“But I-“

“No! I can’t believe you would even think like that.” His voice was raised a little causing you to snap your attention to his face. He looked so angry. The concern from before gone from his features. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just, I don’t think I make you as happy as you should be.”

“Stop apologizing, y/n. This is not your fault its mine.” That made you a little confused despite how upset you still were. This wasn’t his fault; he didn’t do anything.

“It’s not your faul-“

“It is though! I know I’m not that good at showing how I feel. That’s why I waited so long to do anything.” He shook his head as he talked, and you couldn’t pick apart the look in his eyes. “Should I have not asked you out? Would this have been better as a one-time thing?”

“What? No, Yuu. Don’t say that.” You felt your voice shake when you responded, it was so quiet you weren’t even sure if he heard you.

“I knew I’d hurt you. Do something to fuck this up. I couldn’t even keep this one perfect thing, could I? God I’m so stupid! This would’ve been so much easier if I wasn’t in love with you. Maybe we shouldn’t even have started dating, I’ve only been an ass to you.” His voice got louder as he berated himself. You knew he had a bit of a temper, but you never thought it would be toward himself.

“Yuu, stop.” He didn’t hear you as he continued beating himself up, “Yuu!”

You shoved his chest lightly to get his attention, panic coursing through your body. His eyes flashed to yours and the tears that spilled from them matched your stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry.. Fuck, I’m so sorry!” He scrambles toward you, diving into your embrace. You’ve never seen him angry like that and it scared you. He could tell, the look on your face when you pushed him made his heart drop. He pulled you to him again, this time he was crying. You felt the tears against your neck as he shoved his face into your shoulder. “Baby, I didn’t mean any of that. I promise. Please, please forget it. I’m not leaving you. Just don’t- don’t leave me.”

Hearing his desperate cries into you made your heart break, forgetting everything that happened before. You sat and held him like he did to you. Giving him a place to let all his fears out in the safety of your embrace.

“It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” You voice was basically a whisper as you ran your fingers down his hair, trying not to let the tears spill from your eyes again at they sadness in his voice and the way he clutched onto the back of your shirt.

“I’ve never loved someone before. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He spoke after a moment, he felt more relaxed in your arms and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Until you registered what he said for the second time.

“You love me?”

“Fuck. Did I say that?” He pulled away to look at you, eyes wide. All you could do was nod at his question, still processing it. “Shit, y/n. I, uh, ignore that.”

You shook your head rapidly, opening your mouth to say something. Anything. When nothing came out you leaned forward pressing your lips to his. His eyes flew open for a second but then he melted into your lips as his hands moved to bury themselves in your hair.

“I love you too.” You whispered into his lips, but he didn’t hear you. Too focused on your lips against his. You pulled back breaking the kiss to say it again, if you didn’t say it now you knew you’d regret it. He needed to hear how much he meant to you. “Yuu, I’m in love with you. I think I was before anything happened.”

“Really?”

“Let me finish!” You couldn’t help but laugh a little at his eager tone. “You’re so good to me, more than I think I deserve. Hearing you beat yourself up like that. I just…. Don’t ever, ever think I regret being with you for one second. The things you said…… Yuu, they’re not true. You need to know how much you deserve.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said. He knew he had a temper, and it usually was directed toward himself. Starting off as a simple thought and snowballing into full on degrading himself. You tilted his chin up making him look at you again, wanting to make him feel better. Pressing your lips to his again, this time less sweet. Deepening it by tugging on his shirt.

“If you don’t believe me… Let me show you just how much I love you, Nishi.” It took one look into your dark gaze for him to understand what you meant. His face flushed and you almost giggle at the sight. “I was heading back to my dorm, why don’t you come with me?”

“But, Daichi….” Nishinoya glanced back at the gym quickly before looking back to you.

“It’s okay, I can wait. Alone. In my dorm. Who knows what I’d do while you’re at practice…..”

“No fucking way, I’m coming with you” That was the first practice he missed on purpose.

#hq nishinoya #nishinoya angst #nishinoya smut #hq fluff #nishinoya x y/n #nishinoya imagine #nishinoya yu x reader #nishinoya yu #pls forgive me #I wanted to add more angst but it was too long already #Haikyuu #haikyuu nishinoya #Nishinoya x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smut

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Finally, You’re Back

Part 1: ‘There You Are’

Karl Heisenberg (Resident Evil 8: Village) x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of Injury and Human Experimentation, Insecurity, Swearing, Spoilers for RE8

Genre: Angst, Romance, Some Humor and Fluff too

Summary: And there they are, back in that village half a decade later to retrieve what’s theirs but unaware of what they’ll find in place of what they remember.

Requested by one Anon and the idea was modified by another Anon, so thank you both so much for sharing your creativity with me, it’s really been a huge honor to write a fic inspired by such a beautiful idea. Love you both! 💕

If again is what he hoped and prayed for, why is he damning it now Why does he resent himself for having hope When he previously wished nothing but to have it Why does their presence hurt When it used to heal him Why do they remind him of how much of a monster he is When previously they were the only one making him human Why is he worthy of their presence When he’s only become worse They upheld their promise But the person they are coming back to is no longer alive He’s taken his place and he hates himself for it He’d kill himself to get him back He’d do just about anything Just to prevent those eyes from seeing them differently Just so he can greet them with open arms and say:

“Finally, you’re back“

But as of now all he can say is:

“You’re back, but the one you’re searching for will never return“

He was made aware of their presence the day of their arrival in the village. He knew all about their venture, going around the village asking for him to be looked at with terror by the villagers they came across. He watched as all the people refused to tell them his whereabouts, claiming they didn’t know or they couldn’t tell. No matter what bribery or convincing method Y/N tried to use, the villagers refused to stand down from their determined ground.

They refused to give up though, going against his prayers that they would. They might have felt discouraged but they never, not even for a second, thought to give it up. Never did they even consider forgetting him as an option. It’s been half a decade and they still remember him, they still have the will to look for him despite all the time that has passed, despite the odds that aren’t in their favor, despite the lack of help from anyone.

They keep going, keep trying. They keep driving the sword deeper into his chest, piercing his heart.

If only they could accept me like this. If only they could look at a monster the same way they looked at that boy they met five years ago...

His mistake, although blatantly obvious even to him, is not something he’s willing to correct. He doesn’t want to give them a chance. And the answer to the question many - even he himself - would ask ‘why’, that answer he doesn’t want revealed.

Because he knows it and would do anything in his power to keep it from swimming to the surface.

The answer? - It’s because he’s afraid. Terrified really.

What of? That’s the part he’s not sure about. Is he afraid of them being scared, disgusted and repulsed by him? Or is he afraid of the complete opposite - that they won’t bat an eye at the change he’s undergone. That latter option leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth, his stomach turning. He doesn’t believe he deserves that reaction, after all he’s done, after becoming the monster he is now, he’s done his best to not even think about them - attempts that have failed miserably. Not a day has gone by that they haven’t been on his mind. He thought getting rid of the dog tag necklace - the promise - would cleanse his system of their memory that’s etched itself so deeply within his mind and soul but his hands refused to cooperate when his brain kept telling them to lift that necklace off his neck. He couldn’t do it, and he hated himself because of it for a while, but if he’s being honest he felt more relieved than anything else. He doesn’t want the only real memory, the only pleasant memory of his human days gone. He doesn’t want to wipe Y/N from his mind, they’re the only thought that still sends his heartbeat speeding in a positive way. He knows he’s a coward for what he does, hiding in the shadows and watching them waste their time with the villagers who think they are downright insane for going around looking for Karl Heisenberg whom the entire village knows as Lord Heisenberg. Not using his title each time they ask never fails to bring a smile to his face. It’s a relief that they at least have a nice picture of him that has stuck with them. And if it’s up to him, that’s the picture that will remain, they won’t see him like this, this new him won’t replace the old him in their mind. He’d do anything to make sure of it.

That being said, you can imagine the massive shock and mini heart attack he experienced one day when his motion detectors picked up on someone entering the factory in broad daylight. Rushing to the camera display, the briefest glimpse was enough to make out who this foolish person looking for their death was.

Goddammit, Y/N!

It was no longer a danger to his sanity, their presence at the factory was an even worse danger for them. His creations wouldn’t think twice about slicing their tiny frame in half with their implemented chainsaws, designed to do exactly what he’s hoping they won’t get the chance to do this time. Running to the elevator, all he can do is silently pray he reaches them before they come across one of his minions.

What he’s going to say to them? How he’s gonna greet them? He hasn’t got the slightest clue, all he knows is that he has to get to them asap.

Running out of the elevator once it settles on the ground floor, he almost crashes directly into them, eyes wide with shock as the adrenaline is still pumping throughout his body despite the immense amount of relief he feels wash over him. He doesn’t notice at first, but when he does his heart sinks: their gaze is empty and their face unreadable. He can’t bear to have them looking at him like that, it hurts more than physically hitting him. Hell, it hurts more than the experiments Miranda did to him.

“How’d you find me?“ He decides to end the silence for his sanity’s sake, his heart heavy and aching in his chest.

They shrug, “Wasn’t easy, I’ll have to admit, you’ve trained the villagers well, none of em wanted to give me even a clue.“ They give him a small smile before looking around at the factory walls and everything lining them, “And then I put it together on my own. It was a bit of a stretch...“ they trail off, their eyes scanning him from head to toe, “...but I see it was a lucky one.“

He can’t help but huff, more out of disgust for himself than anything else, ��If you call this lucky you’ve gotta have a few screws loose.”

Much to his surprise, this remark earns him a genuine, wholehearted laugh from Y/N, “Oh Karl, didn’t you pick up on my loose screws back when we first met? That’s odd, people usually take one look and can already tell.”

He scoffs, letting a small smile slip onto his face before he chases it away, forcing himself to maintain the seriousness, “I can’t believe how foolish you are. Didn’t you, even for a second, think there was maybe a good reason why people didn’t want to give you my whereabouts?”

“Oh I didn’t need to think about it!“ They say, lifting a pointer finger in the air as if to emphasize their point, “They were pretty clear when they were calling you stuff like ‘monster’ and ‘cruel Lord’ or whatever.“

Heisenberg’s eyes widen in an instant, “So you knew? You knew I was...I wouldn’t be the same as you remember me?” He asks, his jaw almost reaching the floor.

They nod nonchalantly, “I mean, I was sure of that part, it’s been half a decade, after all. Of course, I didn’t expect such a drastic change but it changes nothing. The villagers made it all sound super scary and dramatic...”

Karl doesn’t get confused often. However, right now, they’ve got him completely flabbergasted. “You were told about me...about me being what I am and you still showed up and walked into this place everyone fears like you own it? Where the fuck is your self-preservation instinct?!”

With an eye-roll, Y/N pushes past him, entering the elevator and walks over to the buttons to choose a floor, “Up your ass, Heisenberg. Right next to the stick that’s got you in such a foul mood. Is this how you welcome back an old friend?” Though the words themselves were harsh, they spoke them in such a way and with a sincere look in their eyes that they had the complete opposite effect of what they’d usually have. Hell, he wants to laugh at the vocabulary on its own, it’s so refreshing to hear someone use those terms and speak so freely around him, unfazed by his powers. To be fair, they’re probably not even aware he has any.

Looking at them now, their intense gaze telling him loud and clear that they’re completely unfazed, has him going soft. They’re still his connection to the humanity he’s lost, he’s still clinging onto it thanks to them. And while he still believes he doesn’t deserve to preserve any last piece of it, he’s glad that he’s not the judge of that. The punishment is not his to decide. It’s theirs. And who knows, allowing him to keep a tiny fragment of his humanity may be the ultimate punishment but he doesn’t know it yet. Regardless, he’s happy with it as long as it means he has them by his side to carry said punishment out.

When all they get in response to their words is a laugh they too let a smile lighten up their features, “There you go, knock some humor into you.” They turn to look at the buttons briefly before locking their gaze onto him once again, “I like what you did with the place. Care to show me around?”

He shakes his head as his laughter dies down, “You won’t like it.”

Y/N rolls their eyes yet again, “Leave that up for me to decide, old man.”

A frown comes across Heisenberg’s face, “Old man? How dare you?”

The sound of their laughter almost manages to wipe the frown off his face. Almost. “Old man who can pull off even a century old dog tag necklace.” They say, sizing up the necklace resting over his chest which he automatically reaches out to touch as a result of her remark. “You can keep it, by the way. I don’t need it back. I’ll be sticking around for some time after all.”

Before he can even process what they said, they’ve pulled him into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor, looking out of the open side of it to be able to see the inside of the factory as the metal box keeps climbing, carrying them with it. Their back is turned to him so he can’t see the look on their face but he can only hope it’s not one of horror or disgust. If he were to receive that look from them his heart would shatter on the spot. So he’d rather they don’t turn around - both for him not to be able to see them grimacing and so they can’t see him staring at them with that look in his eyes.

Look of adoration he’s never given anyone before nor will he ever give to anyone else. And so, all the pieces of his soul have found their proper spots.

Thanks to Y/N.

Finally, you’re back.

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harrysweasleys · 4 years

Text

to find each other // g.w

summary: Hi love I was wondering if I could request a george x reader. I like the whole like when you're angry or anything write to the person but never send it but one day George finds the love letter. And reader is all embarased and runs away before he can tell her he like her so he writes her a love letter. (Also I'm aware this is a george ask but in my mind fred didnt die. I'm also imagining this before the battle but fred still doesnt die). If this doesnt spark anything that totally fine. Thanks

warnings: mentions of war, blood and death (relax, it aint fredward)

word count: 4.4k

a/n: this request was so cute and i enjoyed writing this so much! also i hope you don’t mind that i changed up the time that it takes place just a tad. also i want a love letter from george, thanks.

[i do not give permission for my work to be reposted to any other platform.]

———————————————————————

No amount of window shopping could hide the anxious bubbling in your stomach. Diagon Alley, though usually one of your favourite places, was currently the cause of your shaky fingers and heavy breathing. It was the last day of summer holidays, and for the countless students returning to Hogwarts, it meant a place to get away from home, a place that they could escape to to get away from the chaos of the real world.

However, for you, it meant that things would get messy. That the raging war that was brewing in the evil corners of the Wizarding World was bound to strike. And strike hard.

Dangers lurked around every corner and even the comforting atmosphere of Diagon Alley was no longer a place you wanted to be. Countless shops were boarded shut, their windows shattered to pieces as if an attack had taken place. Which was most likely the case, if you were being honest.

The only store that seemed to be alive also happened to be the one that you wanted to avoid at all costs. The large purple and orange shop stood practically glowing in the middle of the gloomy alley, music and laughter echoing from the inside. You had to give credit where credit was due; the shop owners were brilliant.

Students piled in and out in dozens — you couldn’t blame them. Fred and George had a knack for making people laugh. And right now, people needed laughs more than ever. You couldn’t blame these young students for stocking up on joke products to keep themselves entertained for the year. Especially since everyone was well aware this may be the last year of ‘normalcy’ that they get.

However, the shop seemed to be doing marvellously. You’d go in to say hi if it wouldn’t crush your entire existence to do so. Slightly dramatic, but true. You hadn’t left things off on a good foot with George, and the last thing you wanted to do was go in there and make things awkward. After all, maybe he had moved on.

The last time you saw him, he held your crumpled note in his hand, his broom in the other, and a proud smile on his face as he waved goodbye to the school behind him. The school in which you two shared some of your best moments, the inside jokes and the late nights giggling into pillows in the dark of the common room.

Until the note.

The one you had written him the night you found out he was leaving. The one with tear drop stains and smudged ink — the one that confessed your long-rooted love for the ginger boy that had stolen your heart the first day you met him.

He had found it himself, actually. It wasn’t “given to him,” per say. He had snuck into the girl’s dorm — how, you still have no clue — and found you crying on your lumpy four-poster, your hair a disheveled mess and your cheeks bright red from sobbing. You had been furious at him. Not because you were mad, but because you’d miss him. Miss his smile, the way he brought light to every boring class, and you’d miss the way he made you feel like home, even though your home home was miles and miles away.

He’d found the messy parchment scrunched up on your dresser and picked it up at the sight of his name. He didn’t let you take it away from him, so you made him promise he’d read it after he was long gone from school. So that you could be saved from the embarrassment of him not feeling the same. The last thing you wanted was to have to sit through the last few months of school with your best friend hating your guts for the unfortunate feelings you had developed.

You thought you were way over him by now, but looking up into the glorious glass windows of his store, you were hit with a wave of nausea. Not because you didn’t want to see him, but because you wanted to see him so badly it was sickening. To be fair, it had only really been two years, but still. Had he missed you? Had he sat there every night, clutching your wrinkled love letter and thinking back to the moments you two shared?

You shook your head and walked past the shop, trying your best not to peer in through the windows and catch sight of the familiar grinning man. He somehow always had a smile on his face and that was something you could really appreciate, especially right now. Nothing ever seemed to bring him down and that was one of the things you appreciated most.

———————————————————————

“What’re you grinning at, Weasley?” you asked, a smile on your own lips as you gave George a teasing look, your hands running through his hair as he sat on the ground between your legs, eyes focused on the common room fire that was slowly burning down to embers.

“Nothing,” he replied, “Just… taking it all in.”

Gryffindor had won the House Cup just that evening, along with the Quidditch Cup just a few days before. You supposed George did actually have quite a bit to smile about, but as he sat there, his eyes slightly dazed and a lazy grin on his lips, something told you it actually had to do with something else.

“Right,” you replied, taking your hands out of his soft hair and leaning back on the couch, “Because I totally believe you.”

He turned around, his smile never faltering, “What? You’re gonna give me a hard time for being in a good mood? C’mon, let me live, woman.”

You tossed your head back, cheeks flushed, “Fine. The day you don’t have a smile on your face is the day I’ll know something’s wrong, yeah?”

Sitting up and crashing next to you on the couch, he gave you quite the exaggerated nod before dropping it and gazing softly into your eyes, “Around you, how can anything ever be wrong?”

———————————————————————

Popping in and out of stores seemed to be the best distraction — Quidditch Supplies, Pets, Quills, the best Parchment in town — all stores that you remember running in and out of while you were just a wee child, hoping to buy the top quality items for another long year at school.

You’d been so distracted by the sound of children laughing and charging by you that you barely registered the fact that you had walked into a tall body. Luckily, your balance hadn’t been knocked over, but you had been walking at such a quick pace that you’re surprised the other person didn’t go falling backwards.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, looking up and catching your step, nearly losing it completely as your eyes caught sight of the person in front of you.

Eyes still golden like the sun, George Weasley hadn’t changed. His hair was slightly longer and he wore nicer clothing — perks of running your own business — but he hadn’t changed a day. His lips were still a deep pink, and the freckles on his cheek seemed to be more prominent than you remember.

“Y/N?” the corners of his lips turned up into a smile, “Bloody hell, what are you doing here?”

You stared up, mind completely blank, “Oh — It’s — I’ve gotta go.”

His hand shot out to grab your wrist, his fingers leaving a touch of sparks in their wake. You snapped it away, rubbing over the skin to soothe the electrifying touch that George left behind. Even years later, he still had that effect on you, and you wished more than anything that you could curse him out for it.

“Y/N, blimey, wait, let’s catch up,” he shrugged, eyes pleading, “What’re you running from? We were best friends. I’ve missed you. It’s been two bloody years, woman.”

“You know damn well why that changed,” you grumbled, trying your best to look anywhere but his inviting eyes. You knew that if you made eye contact, you’d be sucked right back into whatever hold he had on you while you were in school. You weren’t sure you could deal with that right about now.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Look, Y/N, please. Just stay for a few minutes. Come see the shop, yeah? Reckon Fred’ll be thrilled to see you.”

You gave in and looked up at him, already knowing you wouldn’t be able to say no. He was right, you guys were best friends. You were inseparable. They always say catching feelings for your best friend is a beautiful thing, but in your case it felt like the worst thing to happen. You fell head over heels for George and he had no clue. He continued living his life, continued doing the things he loved, and then he left.

You only hoped the letter kept him up at night. As petty as that was.

“Fine,” you let out a deep breath, “Just a few minutes.”

You nearly missed the wide grin that spread across his face, showcasing the beautiful smile that still managed to leave your chest in a fluttery mess. You internally scolded yourself — you weren’t over your feelings and chances are this was going to make things worse.

The shop was magnificent. Shelves lined the walls as far as the eye could see. And even though Diagon Alley was nearly deserted, the shop seemed to be thriving — not that you were surprised. Kids and young adults huddled in groups to gawk and stare at the latest products, eyeing everything with keen interest as George’s twin, Fred, explained to them how things worked.

“You did good,” you smiled up at George, all hostility towards him fading as the bubbly atmosphere of the shop engulfed you, making you feel as if you were transported back to your childhood, “I’m proud of you guys.”

“Blimey,” George grinned, placing his hand on your shoulder, “Didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that.”

Your smile faded and you turned away from him, cheeks burning at his comment.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he spun you back around to face him, “I just meant because it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again, to be honest.”

You bit your lip, nodding slowly, “I know. I’m sorry. It was just so hard to work up the courage to see you.”

You weren’t exactly lying. After what happened, you couldn’t find it in yourself to face him. But that wasn’t the whole truth, really. Your courage and confidence had left with him, there was no way you’d be able to come here and see him happy with someone else. Someone that wasn’t you.

“I actually have something for you,” he held his finger up and rushed out of sight, up the stairs and through a door. You stood awkwardly, debating whether you should just turn around and walk out of the store and into the city. He’d never be able to track you down. But, somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to move your feet. You were grounded in the moment, still gazing at all the trinkets and items around you.

Some made noise, some were brightly coloured — some of them even looked like that evil witch Headmistress Umbridge. You stifled a laugh, remembering the times you and the twins had narrowly escaped her wicked grasp. She was not one for fun, that was certain.

———————————————————————

“Down here!” you called, grabbing George’s hand and running down another dark corridor, Filch’s footsteps still echoing behind the two of you.

“When I catch ya, you’ll be expelled!” his grimy voice reached your ears, sending you into another fit of giggles as you linked your fingers with George’s, the two of you barreling down the stairs and continuing your run up to the Gryffindor tower. You had to admit, it was quite far, but if you kept up this speed, Filch and his limp wouldn’t be able to catch up.

“Wait, there’s a prefect,” George whispered through his heavy breathing, giving your hand a heavy tug and pulling you behind a pillar.

Your body fell against his, the two of you squished in a tiny space as you heard the distant voice of the Ravenclaw prefect approaching your hiding spot. George’s breathing was heavy, his chest rubbing against yours with each inhale he took. Your breathing would be heavy if you weren’t having heart palpitations, his body so close to yours you couldn’t think straight.

“Reckon that’s another narrow escape,” he chuckled, breath fanning your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact, way too caught off guard to properly process his words.

Did he realize what this did to you? This closeness, this intimacy?

It was undoubtedly true — you were falling for your best friend.

———————————————————————

“Well, if it isn’t Y/N Y/L/N,” Fred sauntered over, hands in his pockets and a bright grin on his face, “What brings you to our little corner of the wizarding world?”

He brought his arms out for an embrace; one that you gladly accepted. He was warm and familiar, and you felt a grin spread across your face.

“It’s nice to see you, Freddie,” you pulled away, “You guys have really blown me away with all of this.”

“Well, what can I say?” he shrugged, tips of his ears turning slightly pink, “We’ve clearly got a knack for entrepreneurship.”

You shook your head, laughter bubbling in your chest. You always knew they’d be successful — hell, you told them a million times — but seeing it in person after all these years of shutting yourself away, it sort of felt like a dream. As if you’d missed quite possibly the biggest event of their lives.

And you felt like a horrible friend.

“Sorry I wasn’t more supportive,” you said softly, “I really am impressed.”

He lifted his hand and ruffled your hair, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We knew you always had your full support.”

Before you could respond, George came rushing back down the stairs. You were rather thankful for it, as your conversation with Fred was causing your emotions to come through. You could feel your throat closing in and the familiar sting of tears in your eyes, but George’s presence caused your feelings to shift.

He nudged his brother away and stood in front of you, an envelope in hand. On the front of it, your name was scribbled in swirly handwriting — George’s, you recognized — and you could see the faint outline of parchment inside it.

“What’s this?” you asked, taking the envelope from his hands as he shoved it in your direction, his cheeks a tad pinker than before.

He let out a deep breath, “You’ll see when you open it.”

You nodded, placing the envelope gently into your purse, “I’ll open it when I’m home.”

“Okay,” he responded instantly, shoving his hands into his pockets. You knew it was a nervous habit of his, and it raised a question as to what could possibly be in that envelope that had him so on edge.

“I’ve, uh, I’ve gotta get going,” you said, your voice barely audible. But by the way George’s shoulders slouched, you knew he heard you. He took his hands out of his pockets and pulled you in for a hug.

Without thinking, you wrapped your arms tightly around him, resting your head on his shoulder and taking in a deep breath. He smelled the same as he did all those years ago, and although he was the same height, he also definitely felt a lot stronger.

Lifting boxes on a daily basis has taken its toll.

You couldn’t count how many hugs you’d shared with George during your time at Hogwarts, but something about this hug felt different. It felt final, conclusive. As if you both knew that this would be the final time you’d get to see each other.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, mouth mere inches from your ear.

“I’ve missed you too,” you replied right away, pulling your body away from his to look into his eyes. You tried your best to force a smile, but it most likely only came off as a grimace. After all, you couldn’t find anything to feel enthusiastic about in the moment.

You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his warm cheek, letting your hand linger on his arm for a second longer than intended, before pulling away and leaving the store without another word.

It was safe, and very unfortunate, to say your feelings were still very much present.

———————————————————————

You stared down at the paper, stunned. It was possibly your seventh time reading it and you still couldn’t believe it.

After all these years, he felt the same.

George Weasley felt the same.

You lifted the letter, once again preparing yourself to read it, wiping your eyes with an already soaked tissue.

Y/N,

I don’t know much about writing letters with a romantic goal, but I do know that I couldn’t leave yours unanswered. There were too many things left in the air, and I might never even get to give this to you, but it’s worth writing anyways.

I remember the first day we met. Do you remember? We were in second year and you fell down the stairs onto Freddie. You were so cute, and so flustered. It was nearly immediately after that that we became friends, if I remember correctly. (Which I always do.)

Skip forward a few years and you practically owned my heart and soul. I barely went a moment without thinking of you. Of your smile, of your laugh, of your hair and your face. You know, I did it on purpose. All the jokes, they were for you. To make you laugh. Bloody cliche, I know. But that’s the truth, love.

When I left school, it was hard. Not because I’d have to start a whole new life, but because I’d have to start that life without you. Without your constant positivity and your radiance. It was nearly impossible, but you were so proud. So proud of Freddie and me that I knew I couldn’t let you down.

But I did. I left you there, in that horrid place with that toad woman. And I regret that to this day. I read your note every day. I still do. It’s the only thing of yours that I have in my life and I cherish it more than you know.

So, this note kind of has no purpose, but it does have a point. The point is that I love you too. That I’ve loved you for a long time, and chances are that I always will. You’re the best part of me and that’ll never change.

Please take care. And I hope we get to find each other.

Yours forever,

George.

You read it again, and again, and again, and could barely process the words on the tattered parchment. It was a pretty neat piece, which indicated that there was no way he wrote two years ago. It had to be recent — within the last year. And the fact that he decided to give it to you now meant that he might even still feel this way.

With the amount of times you envisioned George professing his undying love to you, not once did you think it would be in these circumstances. With the two of you living different lives.

You went to bed that night, the note tucked under your pillow. You couldn’t part with it. Even though you had no clue what to do about said note, you didn’t want to let go of it. It was true, and all these years later you finally realized it. All the shared touches, the laughs, the smiles across classrooms; it all made sense. Not only were you falling hopelessly in love with your best friend, but he was doing the exact same thing.

And I hope we get to find each other.

If that meant what you thought — what you hoped — it meant, then maybe there was a chance for you. But for that chance to happen, you had a lot that you needed to sort out. What would this mean? Would you two start from scratch?

You hadn’t exactly had any sort of relationship over the past two years, how would you just jump into something like this? Maybe him giving you the letter was his form of closure, his way of telling you that maybe it could have happened, but now there’s no chance.

You didn’t want to dwell, but there was no way you couldn’t. How does one let something like this go? You can’t. You can’t go back to living a normal life with this knowledge hanging over your head.

He loved you.

If only there was a way you could talk to him, clear the air. Maybe he did still feel the same.

———————————————————————

Hogwarts was, to put it kindly, in the middle of chaos. Spells of bright green and red shot out from every which direction, hitting columns and occasionally, other bodies. You passed lifeless bodies on the ground and couldn’t bring yourself to look down. Some of them you might even recognize, and that wasn’t something you could bring yourself to feel right about now. Your emotions were running wild enough as it is; the last thing you needed was to find the body of someone you loved.

Your wand was tightly gripped in your hand, your mouth repeating the same spells over and over as Death Eaters continued to swarm the homely school grounds. You had called this place ‘home’ for seven years and yet now, it was the last possible place you wanted to be. You wanted to turn around and run, never to look over your shoulder again.

But you couldn’t.

There was no way you could bring yourself to leave. Not now.

“Well, what ‘ave we got ‘ere?”

You spun on the spot, coming face to face with the sunken eyes of a Death Eater. His voice sounded awfully familiar, but that was really the least of your problems right about now. His wand was raised in your direction, his lips already beginning to move.

You raised your own wand, ready to fire out the first spell you could think of. But the man went flying back into the wall before you could even open your mouth. You gaped down at your wand, trying to figure out how the hell you managed to do that without even thinking of the spell.

“Reckon that’s about the fourth time I’ve saved you.”

You turned to the sound of the voice, recognizing it immediately. George’s hair was tousled like crazy, and he had a bandage tightly wound around his head. You could see faint blood where his ear should be, and your heart did a quick flip in your chest. You had heard about his accident — you had run into Ginny in the Great Hall, but seeing his wound and his face in person brought an unsettling feeling to your chest.

“George,” you sighed, running over to him without a second doubt. You jumped up, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly, squeezing harder than you thought. But he didn’t seem to mind, his arms finding their way around your waist and holding you up, his head finding its spot in the crook of your neck as he let out a low chuckle. You could feel the warmth of his skin, and in that moment, he felt so real. As if two years apart had never happened. As if everything said between you two in your letters was unspoken, but acknowledged.

You pulled your head away from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. The eyes that had been a comfort source in your life for so many years. As if looking into them brought out all of your confidence, you gave him a shy smile before leaning down and pressing your lips against his.

You immediately pulled away from him before either of you could register the action, letting yourself fall back down to your feet as you looked up into his eyes. He didn’t blink, his mouth hanging open.

Maybe you made a terrible mistake.

“Oh, I’m sorry—”

You were cut off by his hands on each side of your face, pulling you in for a second kiss. One that lasted much longer.

His lips were incredibly soft against yours, moulding as if this was the place they were meant to be. Your hands went up into his hair, giving a small tug as he pulled your body closer to his. It was as if all the war and death around you two didn’t exist — the only thing you could focus on was George’s warmth and the eruption of butterflies that went off in your body.

After what felt like hours, you pulled away and looked up at him. His lips were swollen and red, his breathing slightly uneven, but he looked happy.

“That was long overdue,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

You let out a breathy laugh, “Definitely.”

———————————————————————

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crimsonkenjii-writes · 3 years

Note

Hi :DD can i request a giyuu x childhood friend reader? Where they met during the final selection and reunite when she became the lightning pillar? The lightning pillar headcannons made me melt 👌👌😭 i loved it alot and i thought the idea would be cute, don't need to do it tho if you want to ofc :D thankiess 💙

Hello!! Thank you for the request and thank you so much for liking those headcannons!! 🥺 Of course I’ll write it ^^

Here’s the Fem!Lightning Pillar headcannons

Giyuu Tomioka x Fem!Lightning Pillar

Synopsis: You and Giyuu had met when you were doing the final selection and became friends with him. However, life made you drift apart and you both became pillars just to meet one another again.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　♡　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You panted heavily as you ran through thick fog and towering trees. Your hand griping firmly around the hilt of your nichirin blade. Your eyes were darting from every direction, waiting for another demon to pop out of nowhere and take a slash at you. There was rustling ahead of you and prepared your blade. You brought both your hand to your blade handle and lifted your arms to swing when-

‘Shit, it’s a slayer!’

A small boy with long black hair and a red haori looked at you frightened as you had your blade lifted, ready to slice him down. You couldn’t stop yourself, you had already charged and you couldn’t stop now. In a flash, another boy appears out of seemingly nowhere and connects your two swords, pushing you away with his strength.

You went skidding to the side and almost tumbled over. You were too much in a panic of almost slicing another slayer to process the boy’s strength. After you got your grounding, you quickly jog to the two boys, “I’m so sorry! The fog was so thick and I thought it was a demon! Please excuse my incompetence!” You bowed low to the two boys just to hear one of them scoff.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be a slayer if you cannot tell the difference between human and demon.” The boy with pinkish hair spat.

You cocked a brow at the boy and thought to yourself ‘what’s with this kid??’ You opened your mouth to argue before the boy with black hair interrupted, “It-it’s fine, Sabito. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

“Tch, fine. Just as long as she learns her lesson.”

You raised your brow at the pink haired boy with squared patterned haori again. You then noticed that the both of them had fox masks on.

“Oh? What are those. They look very nice. Whoever made them must be really good at woodcarving.”

“It’s a warding mask,” replied the pink haired boy, “to help keep evil spirits and demons away. The craftsmanship is very good. Urokodaki Sensei is very talented and taught us all we know.”

“And you two are?”

“I’m Sabito and this here is Giyuu...”

“Ah, hello Sabito, Giyuu. I’m Y/N,” you bow once again and they do the same, greeting you. “Let’s just forget that incident. I’m sorry, Giyuu.” You smile at him and he timidly tells you it was alright and that they’ll look past it now.

You tagged along with the two for a couple a days. You were very surprised by how strong Sabito was. He was saving everyone and no demon was too strong for him. It was amazing watching him. Giyuu was strong as well but Sabito kept outshining him.

One day, a demon attacked the three of you and you ended up getting separated from the two and finished the rest of Final Slection on your own. Once you reached the wisteria section of the mountain to claim your ore and uniform, you were too out of it from injuries and exhaustion that you didn’t see Sabito or Giyuu again. You figured they’d both be alright though.

━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━

Years had passed and you had become stronger. You accomplished Total Concentration Breathing Constant and slayed a number of demons. You quickly climbed the ranks as you went on more mission and killed more demons. Eventually you were finally able to slay one of the Twelve Kizuki and was given the message to join the Hashiras.

You were pretty banged up from the demon and met Shinobu before any of the other Pillars. She tended your wounds and gave you medicated water to ease your pain before guiding you to Master Ubuyashiki’s garden where everyone else had been waiting.

You felt very nervous to see such a range of people. Two of them were very, very tall and stood in the way of seeing some of the other pillars.

They were all greeting you and asking you a ton of questions. Many of them were very proud to see another slayer defeat a Twelve Kizuki and join them in the ranks. Eventually, Master Ubuyashiki made his appearance and everyone got in line to kneel to him. You did the same until he called you up front to introduce you to everyone. You were finally able to see all of the pillars now that everyone was in line. You scan through until you see a familiar face, farthest away and the end of the line.

You eyes widen after seeing a familiar red haori with raven, black hair sat on top and ocean blue eyes staring right back at you. ‘I can’t believe it,’ you thought to yourself, ‘It’s Giyuu! I thought I’d never see him again!’ You were ecstatic to talk to him again but had to wait until Ubuyashiki had dismissed everyone first.

The meeting finally came to an end and you made a beeline to Giyuu, ignoring all the other pillars who wanted to ask further questions.

“Giyuu?! Is that you? It’s me! Y/N! We were in final selection together! Gods, I can’t believe it! I thought I’d never see you again!” He’d grown a lot since you last saw him. His hair was longer, his jaw was more defined and you now had to look up to meet his eyes. Dare you say he looked more handsome.

“Y-Y/N, Its been so long.” Giyuu stuttered out, completely flustered. He could feel his cheeks burning the more he spoke with you. You hadn’t grown much in height but your body filled out more and your hair had gotten a bit longer as well. He was nervous to say that you were making his heart flutter again.

“Don’t be so shy, give me a hug!! I can’t belive you’re a Hashira, how did that even happen?” You continued on as you outstretched your arms to pull Giyuu in. He was very stiff and awkward but couldn’t resist embracing you after thinking you’ve been dead for years. He was completely wrong. You were strong, so strong in fact that you managed to take out one of the Twelve Kizuki and became a Pillar. For some strange reason, he felt so proud of you despite not seeing you for so long.

All the other Pillars just stared in disbelief and confusion. Who where you? How did you know Tomioka? How did you get him to talk? How the heck did you get him to hug you?! And how were you making him so flustered?!?! He’s stoic!!

After pulling away from the hug, you opened your mouth to ask about Sabito when you noticed the other half of his haori. Your eyes softened and touched the yellow and green patterns, you heart sinking a little. You bring your eyes back to Giyuu’s, “Did... did Sabito... not... not make it...?” You ask him sadly, tears threatening to swell your eyes. Giyuu’s eye become very sad as he looks to the side and just simply shakes his head.

“I’m so sorry, Giyuu... he was a very good man. I’m sure he’ll be reincarnated, his heart was very kind and pure.”

The other Pillars finally interrupted and started bombarding you with more questions and you spent some time talking with all of them and keeping Giyuu close to you since he kept trying to leave. You still wanted to talk with him afterwards.

━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━

“Ugh, what a relief!” You let out as you stretch your arms upwards, “I thought they’d never stop asking questions.”

You and Giyuu were walking side by side and leaving Ubuyashiki’s garden.

You excitedly turn to Giyuu, you eyes sparkling as you made contact with his deep, ocean blue ones, “We have so much to catch up on! Tell me, Giyuu, what Pillar are you?”

The both of you spoke all night and caught eachother up on a lot of things. You talked a bit more than Giyuu did of course, but he still replied and shared enough of his thoughts to not make it seem like you were talking to a brick wall.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━

━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Giyuu was so relieved to see that you were okay. He knows he didn’t know you a lot but there was just something so magnetizing about you when you first met. He couldn’t help but feel so interested in you. You’d occasionally come across his mind the years you weren’t there and he would just wonder what you were up to. Pessimism would often creep in and make him think that you might already be dead. He tried his best to shake those thoughts but there was a high chance of that being the reality. Being a slayer never guaranteed a safe future.

It turns out all those pessimistic thoughts were wrong and now here you were, reunited with him. He couldn’t understand why he was so overjoyed to see you again. His heart pounded a bit more around you now than it did years ago. It confused him how you made his thoughts hazy and his temperature rise. But most importantly, he was just so relieved that you were still alive. And to top it all off, you became a Hashira. I mean, a Hashira! The new Lighting Pillar! It made him feel so proud of you. He couldn’t believe you were that strong. Not that he ever doubted you, he just feared that since he enjoyed your presence that you’d be doomed to die too soon.

But now you’re here, stronger than he could have ever imagined, and he was not going to let you leave his side ever again.

#sorry this took so long it takes me a while to write scenarios #I hope you still enjoy it though and that it was worth the wait :)#demon slayer #kny #tomioka giyuu #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #tomioka giyuu x reader #giyuu x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader

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nagitoandkokichioneshots · 3 years

Text

Kokichi’s fluff alphabet

Mod Mikan: Fluff alphabet is from @mod-sonia-writes-stuff! Keep being awesome, darling! :)

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

-Kokichi gets bored pretty easily, so he likes any acitivity where he’s always on his feet doing something fun with his SO. This can range from a variety of dates in his mind, such as the amusement park, carnival, arcade, even walking in the park!

-Dates with him can get a bit tiring, considering you are always doing something, but nevertheless, they are super fun and full of energy! He’s also a huge man-child, so going shopping to Build-a-bear or pranking your classmates are also on the agenda!

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

-Kokichi adores everything about his SO. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Though, if he had to pick, he’d say their sense of humor and smile. He loves how he can have fun with them and their smile just lights up the whole room!

-He also likes how they wouldn’t change themselves for anyone since he fell in love with the real you! It makes him wanna take down his own walls when you guys are alone

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

-I think Kokichi would be a total sweetheart when it comes to comforting his SO when they’re feeling sad. I believe he has had his fair share of panic attacks in the past and although he didn’t have anyone to comfort him, he knows exactly what to do for his SO. He will never let his SO feel the sadness that he had to face, so his first instinct would be to hug them and pull them onto his lap. He’d shush them gently and try to help them get their breathing under control if they were feeling paranoid and anxious

-After you are calmed down a bit, Kokichi would ask you if you wanna talk about it or not. If you did, he would be listening and full locked into what you were saying. After you were done speaking, he would try his best to cheer you up, telling jokes and putting on your favorite movie. He’d poke your cheeks, cuddle you, tickle fights, anything to see that smile he adores so much!

-If you didn’t wanna talk about it, that is fine too! He would skip right into doing anything to make you smile again!

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

-I believe that it would actually take a long time before Kokichi would consider settling down with his SO. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he doesn’t want to. A secure future with you is all he ever wants! But there are a few factors that would make him a bit unsure about his vision alongside you

-Deep down, Kokichi is very insecure. It’s a deal of coming to terms that he even deserves to have you. He may be a big talker, but he struggles with his own negative thoughts surrounding himself, and he really yearns of the day where he can come to terms that he deserves someone like you

-He also never had such a deep emotional connection with a single person before. He’s very inexperienced in the romance department, let alone, friendship even! He’s not sure if this would even last, since everyone ends up hating or leaving him in the end. It would take a while before he would feel confident that you want to stay by his side

-He also doesn’t want you to get hurt. His organization may just be a small group of harmless pranksters, but DICE has gotten into some serious trouble before. Kokichi will protect you with his life, but in the event that he fails to, he would never forgive himself if something bad happened to you because of him

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

-It would appear like Kokichi is mostly dominant in the relationship. He looks like he’s the one who makes a lot of decisions in the relationship, ranging from date nights, milestones, anniversaries, and even planning out surprises between him and his SO. While he may take control a lot, he really does this to make sure that he can spoil his SO like they deserve. He’s very calculating and plans everything to every small detail, so he’s very confident in his ideas. He will deny that he’s spoiling them, but trust me, honey--he is!

-Of course, Kokichi would never do anything if it made his SO uncomfortable. He always asks for consent if he has a seed of doubt in the back of his mind that his SO would be against. However, it’s pretty rare that he would ask them if they were okay, since he’s certain of himself that he knows his SO very well. He also wouldn’t ask consent of surprises, since well--it’s a surprise!

-Despite being the dominant one, Kokichi is totally open to what you wanna do as well. He’s always ready to hear your thoughts and input on dates. He would make teasing comments, calling your ideas ‘cheesy’ or ‘lame’ but he would still do them anyway. He complains and says “He was forced to do this” but don’t worry, darling--he loves doing pretty much anything with you and loves your ideas ;)

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

-Kokichi is a huge brat and a literal embodiment of a man-child. But when he fights with his SO, it’s an even bigger nightmare. He wouldn’t even try to lie, he would be so open about how he feels and just blurt out whatever was on his mind. He would aggravate the situation even more than necessary, causing a full-blown fight to break out. Kokichi may be self aware, but when he gets emotional, he won’t even try to hold anything back

-However, Kokichi loves you so so so much. There is no way he can stay mad at you forever! However, I think him forgiving his SO would depend entirely on what the fight was about. If it was a petty, lover’s squabble, he would forgive his SO with ease, calling/texting them saying they have to talk. If they refuse to talk to him, he would even show up at their house ready to apologize. If that doesn’t work, hell-he’ll get DICE to kidnap you and bring you to his office!

-He’s super stubborn when it comes to you not giving him attention, and when it comes to fighting you, he will forgive you super easily. You’re his weak spot, and it pains him to see you so upset at him because of something stupid he said/did

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

-Kokichi is extremely grateful for his SO! He covers up his gratitude by saying that they ‘ruined’ him in a sense, but it’s all in good intent: He went from a feared and hated evil dictator, to a huge softie and cuddle bug at night! You taught him what love was and how to feel it. You brought light into his dark life. It’s even safe to say that you are is everything

-He will always show his gratitude instead, by planning fun date nights, spontaneous surprises, and romantic cuddle sessions. He always covers up his lovey-dovey nature by teasing or even saying his signature line “It’s a lie!” by we all know he’s lying about lying--he absolutely loves you to death and his intense actions show it!

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

-It would depend on how deep the relationship is. At first, he would be pretty reserved and wouldn’t really talk about his feelings at first. He would boast about really anything he would deem ‘proud of’ and tease his SO with ‘lies’, sometimes being true, sometimes just being flat out playful banter. He wouldn’t really open up at first, but he would definitely try for you

-Kokichi will never admit this, but he does wanna better himself for you. After all, you’re such an important person in his life! You’re the only person that can wrap him around your finger and he hella loves it! Over time, I feel like he would break down his walls and open up a bit. It would take a while and with some effort, he would drop his facade with you and be more genuine and honest with you. Be patient, honey. He’s really trying!

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

-As said before, you ruined him! It may only be with you, but he has learned to be more open and sincere about his feelings and reactions. He kept up his ‘evil supreme leader’ act for so long, practically being used to people hating him. But you were special to him, since you don’t hate him like everyone else did. He would certainly learn to be more honest with you around, and he eventually grows to be a very wholesome lover

-Another secret Kokichi will never admit is that you turned him into a huge sweetheart. He’s ‘gone soft’ because of you and even shows a hidden hopeless romantic side to himself. With Kokichi being....well Kokichi, he will hide his thoughtfulness and selflessness with playful banter and teasing, or even call it a ‘lie’ but with time, he will take off that mask and be genuine more often. He obviously won’t stop teasing completely, since it’s a huge part of who he is, but he really does wanna be good enough for you

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

-Kokichi is prone to get very possessive towards his lover. He doesn’t like it when another man even touches you. Even seeing someone else’s eyes wander all over you in an attractive manner makes his blood boil. It’s actually pretty easy to get him jealous, but admitting it is a whole different story

-Kokichi acting on his jealously can go two ways:

1) He silently glares daggers at the guy until he leaves. Later, he will deny that he was ever jealous and won't admit it. He feels like being jealous shows vulnerability, and he doesn’t wanna seem weak. This would especially be prominent in the beginning of the relationship

2) He will annoy the S H I T outta the guy and cling onto you like a koala. When you guys get home, he will kiss you like there is no tomorrow and will get (even more) clingy than usual. This would usually be the option if you guys were dating for a long time and Kokichi was in the middle of coming to terms that you weren’t leaving him and it was okay to be honest with someone he trusts--you!

Either way, both options will end in the dude getting pranked for life

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

-Kokichi’s kisses at first are very inexperienced. He never had a close emotional connection with someone, so it’s all super new to him. He may take initiative a lot, but he wants everything in this relationship to be perfect, so he would back out on kissing for a bit before he would plan out how to make it special

-After some thinking, he would just be like ‘fuck it’ and kiss you at such a random and unexpected time. Kokichi’s kisses are like him--spontaneous, unpredictable, and random! He’s super quick with his kisses and LOVES to peck your cheek, forehead, hand, and even neck to get a cute reaction from you. But he’s also a big fan of making out when he has the chance

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

-Kokichi wouldn’t just fall in love with anyone. It would have to be someone that he already has a close connection with. He would be most likely to fall in love with someone he considers a close friend to him. It would take some time, but patience is key

-When Kokichi starts to feel romantic attraction to his now crush, he starts to distance himself a lot. Romantic feelings are all so new to him, and he's very inexperienced when it comes to close relationships. He has only told Kaito and Shuichi, a bit reluctant to receive help from Kaito. They start to coach him, or in Kaito's terms, 'man him up'. It took help from both men to finally aid Kokichi into confessing to his crush, making sure that they knew he was totally honest in his confession

-The week before the confession, Kokichi said that he'd be in his room and lab more often, because of an upcoming 'test' in Friday. Little did (Y/N) know that their devious friend was reading romance novels and watching youtube videos on 'how to be a good boyfriend' Kokichi wasn't really one to care about tests, so what exactly was this quiz about that he was 'studying' so hard for? When they went to ask Kaito about it, he just chuckled and ruffled their hair

"Don't worry about it, (Y/N)! Kokichi will tell you on Friday!"

-Friday came and the pair finally met up at the gym. With a bouquet of flowers in his hand, he asked--er, demanded--the question

"Date me! You can’t say no to an awesome supreme leader like me!”

-I feel like at first, they would believe it’s just another one of his jokes, lies, or pranks. Kokichi would be heartbroken on the inside, but he would play it off as a joke that “Nishishi~! You got me!” and run away, trying to hide his embarrassment. It would take time, and some more help from Shuichi and Kaito, but after reassuring them that it was a genuine question, Y/N would hesitate before agreeing to go out with Kokichi

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

-This really ties in with his ‘D-Dream” category. While he really does want a future with you, it would take some time to even consider making it a reality. He would have to establish a very close and deep connection with you and be sure that you aren’t going to leave him. He also needs to come to terms that he actually deserves you and that you won’t get hurt because of him

-Somedays, Kokichi would be lost in thought, considering the possibility of marriage. With time, he’d definitely talk about it with having a future with his SO, but he wouldn’t say the actual words ‘marriage’ or anything related to it. While he may play it off as a joke at the end, he really does mean every word he says

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

-Loves to call you any pet names that makes you all flustered and blushy. While he loves to tease you, he also likes to incorporate his dark and evil persona along with his nicknames for you. Would cycle between “My dear” and “My sweet(heart)”. He will even add a ‘my precious’ or ‘my darling’ before calling your name, making you blush in public. Would use “My queen/king/liege’ sparingly at first, but gradually, it becomes a regular pet name

-If it was a time where he was serious and teasing/playful banter had no room in this grave and heavy conversation, he would call you ‘Angel’

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

-Kokichi keeps a poker face on when it’s just him and his other classmates. When you aren’t around, he carries on with his day like it’s nothing new, and just annoys and causes trouble, ya know, the usual “Kokichi” stuff

-Deep down, you are always on his mind. You filled his head with nothing but you, you, and you! He loves you so much and while it may not be visibly present just by looking at him, he’s great at bottling up his emotions. He will never let anyone see such a weak and vulnerable side of him

-When you are with him though, he would be ALL over you! He has crackhead energy and loves to just be a personal koala when you are around. He will be very clingy physically and love to show you off any chance he gets, even if it’s clear as daylight to the others that you are in a relationship. And making the others all annoyed by his PDA is a bonus!

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

-As said before, Kokichi is ALL! OVER! YOU! It’s motherfucking Kokichi, he will show off anything: You not being an exception! He’s not into hand-holding that much, believing it’s ‘too weak’ between couples that love each other. He wouldn’t be shy about straight up hugging you, kissing your lips, resting his head on your shoulder, and swinging his arm around you. He will always have some way of touching you and he likes the feeling of your skin against him. It assures him that you’re real--that you aren’t going to leave him

-He also loves to compliment you and make you all flustered with his words. He would brag about you in front of all the others, you just standing next to him all red in the face. You W I L L be called at least one nickname in public!

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship

-Kokichi is a very detailed-oriented planner and hyper intelligent. When he plans date, he always makes sure that everything will be perfect and guarantees that you will have a blast with him! He also doesn’t wanna have a boring time with you and wants to be entertained, as well as wanting the same for you. If you guys are going on a date planned by him, there is always a 100% chance that you will have fun and a good time

-Overall, he’s very good and skilled at planning dates, promising you a great time with him!

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

-It’s really a mix of cliché and creative. While Kokichi has his own way of doing things and will whatever he wants, whenever he wants, he also tries a lot in the relationship to keep you happy. He would go to the depth of hell for you, and while he may just seem like an annoying brat who whines for attention on the surface, you have absolutely no idea what he is capable of when it comes to his beloved

-He blends the two really well, being romantic and creative at the same time. He’s unique with his way of showing love, however he’s fluent in many love languages, whether it would be acts of service, physical affection, or praises. He’s a fan of cuddles, but would tickle you and kiss your neck sweetly while he cradles you in his arms. He would plan adventurous date nights, but add his own twist and spice into it as well ;)

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

-Look....Kokichi is a shithead. But he’s a shithead that cares. He is extremely supportive in what you do and will never lie about his feelings towards something so important, as in you following you dreams. He would make little playful and mischievous comments calling your dream “cliché” or “lame”, but he will always be here if you ever need help

-Will do everything in his power to make sure that you are on the right track towards achieving your goals. He will fight tooth and nail for you and what you want. You mean everything to him and seeing you so happy in achieving your goals is rewarding to the both of you

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

-At the beginning of the relationship, Kokichi would constantly be trying new things with you, dragging you to different places and even pranking people just cause! Kokichi has a habit of being bored quickly, so he would always be trying out new things and is open to new suggestions

-Overtime, he would settle into a routine with you. Of course, he’s open to surprises and loves spontaneous, uninvited events to spice things up, but he would fall into doing certain things with you and making a habit out of them. Waking up next to you and falling asleep with you doesn’t sound too bad. Cuddle sessions after work? Going out for a midnight run at McDonald’s when you can’t sleep? Sounds like a plan to him! When he’s with you, he doesn’t fall into boredom easily, because you’re far from a boring person to him

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

-He knows you probably better than you know yourself! Kokichi is observant, aware, and hyper intelligent. Seeing how your eyes sparkle when you see something you like, or how your lip twitches into a slight, nearly invisible frown when you see something you hate, he will take mental notes. You’re basically going to love anything he gifts you or dates that he came up with, since he’s always putting your thoughts into account. He does everything for you and is one of the most selfless partners you will find. You may even call him wholesome when it comes to his SO

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

-His relationship with his SO is very important to him and is probably the most valuable thing in his life, along with DICE. He will never chose between the two, since he cares deeply about both his families. Ya know how his motive video was DICE? You could’ve easily been his motive video if you guys were together prior to the killing game, since you are really the most important person in his life

-It’s clear that he has a strong biased towards you, since he rarely insults you and his pranks and teasing regarding you are much more toned down than it is with his classmates. He plays less pranks on you and makes you more of his partner in crime

-Overall, you are his guardian angel, his whole world, his everything. He loves you very much, it’s actually quite concerning the lengths he would go for you. He’d never do anything violent though, since his organization has a policy against killing, but rather manipulate and work on a crafty, sneaky plan if it would benefit you in the end. He would literally, and I mean--LITERALLY- do almost anything for you

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon

-Kokichi has written love letters addressed to his SO, expressing his real and true feelings about them. However, he always backs out on giving them the letters, not wanting to seem like he’s getting attached too fast or that it’s cheesy and not very ‘evil supreme leader’ like of him. He keeps the love letters in a box locked in a drawer underneath his desk. When he’s alone, he’d take the letters out, re reading them with a smile on his face. He always writing new ones, but never gives them to you because of his own insecurities and clashing thoughts. Unless, one day, you stumble upon it somehow, they’re really just collecting dust inside his desk

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

-Kokichi is a HUGE fan of affection. He’s big on PDA and loves to show you off to all his classmates and even his DICE members. He absolutely has no shame and his hands are ALL over you! Behind closed doors or even in public, he will never deny a chance to cuddle, kiss, hug, or just show you how much he loves you

-He’s so affectionate, it may come off as possessive or borderline obsession sometimes. But he can’t help it! You’re an angel and someone better is bound to sweep you off your feet! He wants you all to himself, you’re the only person that was ever there for him, the only person that understands him, the only person he can trust and be real with. You accepted him for being him and for some reason, you claim that you love him

-How can he not love you?

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

-Three words: Annoying his classmates

-If people thought he was annoying from the get-go, Kokichi when he’s away from his partner is a total nightmare. He becomes even more of a shithead, crying and whining for his lover to come back. The tears are real and he won’t fake anything that concerns you, but he would also just loudly complain about how boring it is without you to irritate his classmates even more. Let’s just say that your classmates, especially Shuichi and Kaito, will be E X T R E M L Y grateful when you return. Expect Kokichi to literally run towards you and hug you tightly, commanding you to never leave him again

-Kokichi also texts you and calls you whenever he can, finding anything to talk about just to see that you are okay and still safe. His first thing to do when he wakes up is facetime you. When he’s about to go to sleep, he can’t unless he chats with you and tells you goodnight

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

-Isn’t it strange how the fandom simps for Kokichi, but in every single fanfic he’s the one simping for us? Well....nothing has changed. Kokichi is a deadass simp for his lover. As states previously, he won’t do anything violent. He is a pacifist and doesn’t actually harm people

-Nevertheless, he’s more of a manipulative and scheming type of person. He’s the leader of a group of skilled pranksters, no doubt he would be sending DICE on someone’s ass if they were to hurt or even hit on the supreme leader’s lover! He would also subject someone to a life of emotional/mental pain and misery with an elaborate plan that he’s been thinking about. While Kokichi wouldn’t physical harm anyone, it doesn’t mean he isn’t a dangerous, calculating person

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