#aka i think this is my last drawing for a while | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

absolutebl · 1 month

Text

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama.

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one.

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen?

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

179 notes · View notes

vivilingriphyn · 3 months

Text

The Sham | P2

Part 1

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FOR Y'ALL! So glad i was able to finish this the day before valentines from where I'm from so I can be free tomorrow onwards aka the day this is set to be uploaded. And think of this as my lil valentines gift for y'all ^^

From what I can tell the comic might be done in 4/5 parts maybe 6 it just depends how much free time i have irl.

But I'm very happy with myself to keep being motivated to make this comic have quality in visuals and I'm dreading how i am approaching the dialogues soon T -T) and the major reveal for my AU which hopefully will explain what my AU is all about and it will be angst and gruesome, especially on the visuals but for now I'm going turtle pace.

And another reason why I've also been holding this off was because whether or not to make a custom font for this comic because when I went to go and draw the "..." I realized how cool it would be if i made a custom font for this. But it might take some time for me to figure out how to do it again, since it's been a long while since the last time I've made a custom font and import it into ibispaint.

Anywho that's all for today! Stay creative y'all o7

201 notes · View notes

another-lost-mc · 9 months

Note

hey so im not the anon who requested the guys going to see barbie but i had legit just watched the movie today and it will mess you up emotionally like i am not kidding i almost started crying at the end some of the guys would be in LITERAL tears and then (maybe) laugh at the last moment quip they pulled at the end

A/N: I really want to see that movie, I’ve heard so many good things. 🥺 I will say, it was whiplash going to the movies with the Oppenheimer crowd and Barbie crowd mingling together. I would’ve preferred to see Barbie, but it wasn't my turn to pick the film. lol

When Movies Make Them Cry

THE DEMON BROTHERS & THE DATEABLES

0.5k words | SFW | gn!Reader

Content: Luke is mentioned in a platonic sense only, the other relationships can be read as platonic or romantic. Mostly emotional hurt/comfort.

Lucifer will cry watching movies but he hides it well. The giveaway will be his wet lashes and the slightly red, puffy skin around his eyes. Most of the tear tracks are wiped away before the lights come back on. He’s more likely to cry in private with you but not in a public crowd.

Mammon screams at horror movies, belly laughs at comedies, and sobs at tear-jerker moments—especially anything involving romance or tragedy. He often pictures you and him together as the romantic leads in the film, and that can be good or bad depending on the film.

Levi gets a little choked up but doesn’t usually cry. If he does cry, it’s in the privacy of his room when he thinks about the movie later on.

Satan and Asmo will both cry at touching romance or gut-wrenching tragedy. Satan comes prepared with tissues and Asmo dabs his face as delicately as he can so he can attempt to salvage his eye makeup (it doesn’t always work).

Beel might get choked up, but emotional movies linger in his thoughts for a while. He reflects on what he can learn from it to avoid more heartbreak in his life (he thinks they’ve all suffered enough).

Belphie might cry, but he cuddles into your shoulder so he can wipe the evidence on your shirt. He chuckles and pokes fun at his brothers for being so whiny but it doesn’t sound very convincing when his own voice sounds a little thick. (He won’t make fun of Beel if he cries.)

Diavolo’s the type that will cry at happy or sad endings. He doesn’t feel ashamed by it either, and he compliments movies that can draw out that type of reaction in him. He’s one of the first to offer you a comforting hug if you look like you need one. He also offers you tissues (he seems to have an endless supply).

Barbatos rarely cries at movies but similar to Beel, the emotional weight can linger with him for a while after. He has several packs of tissues to pass to the others should they need some (aka Diavolo’s endless supply of tissues).

Simeon is more likely to cry at happy endings than sad endings. He’s experienced so much heartache that it’s like a familiar friend rather than a shocking event. It’s the overwhelming love or joy characters share that touch him the most because he desperately wants to feel that for himself.

Luke cries but tries not to. He naturally gravitates to you or Simeon for comfort but tries not to be obvious about it—he doesn’t want the others to think he’s a baby.

Solomon is a mix of solemn contemplation after sad endings and joyful tears after happy endings. It’s difficult to find things that can touch those deep emotions in him after so much of his long life has passed by in a blur.

m.list | Related reading:

When They Go to the Movies [fluff] When Lucifer Watches Hachiko [emotional hurt/comfort] When Mammon Watches a Tragic Romance [angst]

478 notes · View notes

cranberrymoons · 4 months

Text

same old lang syne

prompt: snow (@steddieholidaydrabbles) word count: 1,000 rated: t tags: angst, open ending, post-breakup (like years and years) – aka the existentialism of running into your ex in the grocery store at christmas notes: title from earth's saddest christmas song – same old lang syne

welcome to Day 21 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

He’s standing in front of the avocado display, contemplating life and guacamole when he feels a hand land on his shoulder from behind.

“Steve?”

He jumps, sucking in a sharp breath as he turns around, blinking at the face of the man standing a few feet away, who’s staring at him with wide eyes and a little smile. It’s so unexpected that he almost doesn’t recognize him, which is insane, because –

“Eddie,” he says. He shakes his head, letting out a little laugh. “Oh my god.”

Eddie’s face relaxes into a smile, and he holds out an arm for a hug. Steve returns it, feels his hand settle over his back in that place where he always used to hold him, slotting together warm and solid and familiar in spite of how long it’s been.

They’ve always fit like this, together. Without even trying, they just fit.

“How are you?” he asks, pulling away before his throat can get too tight. “What are you doing here?”

There’s a lingering whiff of Eddie’s cologne clinging to his collar, and he tries not to focus on it too much. Tries not to let it draw his attention away from the way Eddie’s eyes are raking over him, his hair as wild as ever where it’s pulled back from his face. The trim cut of his leather jacket and the shine of his shoes, the soft hint of lines around his mouth.

“Just visiting,” he says, gesturing over his shoulder at nothing. “Christmas. Wayne.” He holds up the thing in his hand, which is a block of butter. “Baking cookies.”

Steve lets out a little laugh. “Nice,” he says. He holds up his basket. “Um. Same – just, parents, you know.”

And it’s been… how long? Almost ten years since they’ve seen each other. It feels a little awkward, a little weird, a little – something, but Eddie’s smile is still there on his face same as ever, and Steve’s heart gives a wet little thwump in his chest.

“Hey, uh –” Eddie clears his throat, scratches the back of his neck. “You want to grab a drink or something? Catch up?”

---

It’s Hawkins, Indiana, at 8 PM on Christmas Eve, so they predictably don’t find an open bar, but they head back to the store for a six pack and sit with it in Steve’s rental car.

It’s snowing outside, big soft flakes falling from the sky and gathering on the windshield, but he doesn’t turn on the wipers to clear it away, and neither of them comments on the fact that it was snowing like this back then too, the last time they saw each other.

Steve’s thinking about it, though. He thinks Eddie probably is too, judging by the faraway look in his eye as he stares out the window and takes a sip of his beer. The radio is playing softly in the background, a cheery Christmas song that makes Steve feel a little like sticking his fist through the whole stereo system. The snow makes everything else outside the car feel muted and gentle, like the whole world is holding them close.

“So how’s the–”

“What’ve you been–”

They both speak at the same time, then break off with matching embarrassed laughs. It seems to unwind some of the tension between them though, and Eddie smiles at him in the glow coming from the lights of the grocery store parking lot.

“How have you been?” he asks, turning so his back is pressed to the door, facing Steve as much as he can in the tight little space. “Where are you living now?”

“Yeah, good,” Steve says. He feels the corner of his mouth twist down. “For a while, you know. Chicago, sort of. I got married?”

“Oh, that’s–” Eddie’s eyes go a little wide, darting down to stare at his ring finger, which is empty. “Great?”

Steve lets out a quiet little sound, tilting his head to the side. “It was for a while.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says. “Was he – or…”

“She,” Steve says. He clears his throat. “She’s great. Just– you know. Deserved better than me.”

A little line appears between Eddie’s eyebrows, and one of his hands reaches out then stops an inch away from landing on top of Steve’s. He hesitates there for a minute, like he’s not sure if it’s okay, and Steve’s eyes drop away from his face to stare down at it.

He lifts one of his fingers, just enough that it grazes against the underside of Eddie’s palm, warm and soft, tracing a little pattern there until he draws Eddie’s hand down into his. His throat is tight, eyes hot and pricking at the corners, and he blinks a few times to clear it, eyes lifting back to Eddie’s face.

“And you?” he asks as Eddie’s hand settles in his. It feels safe there, like it’s never left. “Are you…”

“For a while,” Eddie says. “Not– you know, not married or anything, but just… seeing people. Dating. And then touring a lot and just– you know how it goes.”

And Steve doesn’t really, but he nods anyway, a little smile playing out over his face.

“That’s right,” he says. “The band’s– I mean, congrats. You guys are doing really well.”

“The band is doing really well,” Eddie says, nodding slowly. His eyes are shining a little, and he sniffs, blinking back to Steve’s face. “I miss you.”

Steve lets out a little sound. “Don’t.”

“I do,” Eddie says. He shakes his head again, and Steve can feel it too, vision going blurry with it. “Every day. I fucked up.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did,” he says. “I never should’ve let you go.”

“It was the right–”

But Steve cuts himself off, because he was going to say the right choice, which is what he’s been telling himself ever since it happened. But he doesn’t actually believe that. He never has.

He takes a breath.

“I miss you too.”

[also on ao3]

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddieholidaydrabbles #my fic

174 notes · View notes

redskull199987 · 6 months

Note

Ola may thee great Skull of red write a Mike×Male reader where Reader is an old friend of Mike's and visits him at his house?Like reader and Mike were best friends but reader moved away at 16.Reader hopes that Mike remembers him and he dies and he is smitten by him and always was.Wants to deny it but after seeing that reader Is good with kids Aka. ABBY Mike is just really goofy and awkward but like super in love if that makes sense.

Back Home

Mike Schmidt x male!reader Request

Word Count:1.2k

Warnings:literally nothing at all, it's all sweet, only thing is slight movie spoilers, but not really

Summary: After moving back into town for your new Job at the Police Department, you realize that you now live next door to your childhood best friend…Mike Schmidt…

Masterlist

You didn’t exactly know what you were doing. Why you were here or what you were hoping to achieve. All you knew was that you had to try. You just had to. You couldn’t just move into the apartment next to your childhood best friend and not say hello.

So, here you were. Standing in front of his door, theoretically ready to knock, but not really. Your mind was racing and for a second, you thought about just going back Home and trying to avoid Mike for the rest of your life.

But that idea was quickly discarded again and with one last deep breath in, you finally raised your hand and knocked on the door a few times.

When nothing happened for a hot minute, you were ready to retreat from his doorstep without a second thought, but against all odds, the door opened after all. But what you saw in front of you, was not what you expected at all. It wasn’t Mike, nor his parents or a friend or anyone.

It was a little Girl.

And she looked at you with curiosity in her eyes. Her gaze wandered over your entire figure a few times, before she finally decided to say something:”Who are you?”

“Ehm..I’m Y/N, Y/N L/N. I moved in next door.”, you explained with confusion written all over your face.

“Oh I saw you last week, when You arrived.”, the little Girl smiled at you gently,”I’m Abby, Abby Schmidt.”

Your eyes widened, upon hearing her last name. Schmidt? So you were at the right house after all? But where was Mike and where were his parents? Was this his little sister? You were honestly surprised that his Parents managed to have another Kid after everything that happened with Garret. Of course, you had tried to help Mike through that tough time, but after your Parents decided to move away when You were 16, you and Mike slowly lost contact until you had no idea anymore what was happening in his life.

And here you were again. Standing on his doorstep with furrowed brows, while his little sister opened the door for you.

“Uh, is Mike home?”, You asked gingerly,”Him and I were friends when we were kids.”

“I think he talked about you before…”, Abby mentioned casually, while she bid you inside. You quickly recognized that their apartment had the same layout as yours. A small living room that was connected with the kitchen and a hallway that led to the bathroom and two bedrooms.

You were slightly startled, as Abby suddenly called out for her brother, before she retreated back to the sofa to draw and watch TV. You looked after her for a second, until your attention was caught by a very sleepy looking Mike who stumbled down the hallway.

"Abby?", he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Only now he saw you standing in the middle of the Living room, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Mike?", you stuttered, still not sure if this was such a smart idea.

Mike rubbed his eyes once more, before walking over to you:"Y/N? Is that you?"

Startled by the fact that he even recognized you, you opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Luckily, Mike didn't even notice and just kept asking you questions:"How long has it been? What are you doing here?"

You looked to the ground for a second, finally finding your voice again:"I moved back into town because of my new job and realized that you and your sister live next door."

You tried to convey it all as calm as possible, but you feared that Mike would notice, that your hands were slightly shaking and that you could barely look at him.

" Oh ehm, wow. That's nice to hear. ", Mike muttered and pulled you out of your thoughts, "Do you… Do you want a cup of Coffee maybe? And catch up?"

You were honestly surprised that he welcomed you back into his life so easily. You hadn't seen each other in years and then you suddenly stand in his living room and now he's asking you if you want coffee.

" Sure. ", you answered with a smile and followed him to the kitchen.

"Please tell me if I am overstepping, but are your parents…?", you carefully asked, as the two of you sat down at the small table.

Mike only nodded, running a hand through his hair. Only now, you noticed how tired he actually looked. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked as pale as a ghost.

" I'm sorry, Mike.", you mumbled after his short silence.

And then you did something, neither of you expected. You reached forward and put your hand on top of his, squeezing it gently.

You felt heat rising to your cheeks, as Mike returned the gesture with a lazy smile.

" Thank you", he said, before slowly pulling his hand back. You quickly returned the smile, looking away for a second.

"You've already met Abby, I presume.", Mike questioned, after standing up again to pour the coffee.

"Yeah", you uttered, as he handed you a mug, "She's lovely."

The two of you gazed into the living room for a second, watching Abby happily draw with her crayons.

"So, you're back in town because of a new job?", Mike interrupted the small silence while sipping on his coffee.

You nodded at him:"Uh yeah. I work at the Police Department. They already assigned me a new partner, can you believe it? But she's supposed to be a nice person."

Mike furrowed his brows at your statement:"Her name wouldn't be Vanessa, would it?"

Now it was your turn to look at him in confusion

:"You know Vanessa?"

"Yeah, I met her the other night. I work as a security guard at that old Pizza Plex and she came over to see how I was doing", Mike quickly explained. And now it made sense to you. Some guys at the Police Department had already told you about the creepy old Pizza Plex…and about the fact that the Security Guards often didn't make it very long…

"Well, maybe we'll see each other sometime then.", you joked a little awkwardly.

"Yeah", Mike agreed, a little smile forming on his face, "That'd be Nice. Hey, do you perhaps have time to meet up to… You know, really catch up?"

You were a bit taken aback by his question, but not in a bad way:"Yeah sure."

Mike gave you a tired grin, probably not realizing how over the place his hair was. You couldn't suppress a little chuckle, as you looked at him.

"What!? Is there something on my face?", Mike quickly asked, making a dumb face at you. Now, you fully had to laugh at him.

Oh, you had missed your best friend. And you were glad to see him again.

179 notes · View notes

coinandcandle · 1 year

Text

How to Make Tarot Spreads

Learn how to make your own tarot spread. This is based on my personal practice so feel free to customize it as needed!

I've written the steps out in a linear manner but they are not numbered. The reason for this is because the process itself is rarely linear (for me) and I tend to bounce between steps, changing things as I go until I've got the finished product.

On to the creation process!!

Think about a life event that you wish to have guidance on (or wished to have guidance on at the time). Or perhaps a situation that left you with many burning questions time and time again. These will be your main topic for the tarot spread.

You can also choose a topic that's easier and less hard-hitting like a new season, natural phenomenon, or celestial cycle (ie. the new moon in Leo, Taurus season approaching, the last frost, etc.) You can also pull from pop culture to create a tarot spread.

Pick a number, something manageable. I usually go between 3 and 7 cards, personally. Sometimes the number of cards you use will also be relevant to your spread if you hold certain beliefs about numbers. If this is the case then feel free to leverage this when creating cards!

Think about questions that the situation left you with or things you wished you'd thought about while going through the event. You'll use these to create prompts for the cards.

Choose a pattern, aka how your cards will lay once they've been pulled. This is the "spread".

Put it all together and you've got a spread! You can choose a title or not, I usually choose the title somewhere within the creation process as they just sorta come to me naturally. Sometimes the title comes first and I work from there.

Example:

Topic: I've been dealing with a breakup recently so that will be my topic for the spread. I'll walk you through my process.

Questions someone has when going through heartbreak are things like: What went wrong? Is this for the best? What did I do wrong? What did I do right? When will I feel ok again? What do I do now? Etc.

Pulling the Cards: Of course, you can choose the tried and true shuffle-and-pull method of pulling cards, but you can also get more creative with it.

I've chosen a "sandwich" method, where you shuffle the deck and find a specific card, then you pull out the card directly in front of and behind the card in question.

What do I think of when I think of tarot and breakups? The three of swords, a card notorious for being about heartbreak.

So, we'll look for the 3 of swords and pull out the card in front of and behind it. I will shuffle again and pull the 3rd card from wherever in the deck it calls to me.

Pattern: I want to keep with the theme of the 3 of swords so I plan on the 3 cards being pulled laying above and slightly angled, similar to the look of the original 3 of swords.

Prompts: Questions someone may have when going through heartbreak are things like, What went wrong? Is this for the best? What did I do wrong? What did I do right? When will I feel ok again? What do I do now? Etc.

Using these questions and emotions, I can come up with the card prompts.

Put it all together. If you're extra, like me, you can create a graphic or draw up a design for your tarot spread! You can find the finished product of my tarot spread here:

3 of Swords Heartbreak Spread

Enjoy my work? Consider leaving me a tip on my ko-fi!

#tarot #tarot spreads #learning tarot #tarot 101 #witchy how to #witchblr #beginnger witchcraft #witchcraft #witch community #tarotblr

420 notes · View notes

bruisedboys · 10 months

Note

hey, congrats!! totally deserved AND your celly theme is super cute!! So so so sorry this is super long

SPIDERHEAD, drabbles ─── send in a thought/headcanon you have about a character and I’ll expand on it in a drabble!

This is totally self indulgent but!! Hobie is such a craft guy. It’s totally punk, obviously, DIY that shit!! He maybe won’t call them dates out loud, because labels or something, but he invites you on crafting dates, he’s got boxes of materials and trinkets—beads, buttons, bottle caps, sewing supplies, glue, you name it. Crafting dates are the greatest because making things with/for people you really like can be so intimate

I’ve also been spending my last few days making pins, and tonight, I accidentally sliced my fingertips with an exacto—I think Hobie’s crafting supplies and his suspiciously well-stocked first aid supplies are near eachother for convenience when crafting and totally not because he has a super secret spider-man alter ego

no because ur so right anon

hobie brown is such a crafty guy!!!! you would think he thinks it’s lame and nerdy cos he’s such a cool guy but honestly he thinks it’s totally punk. he for sure is always cutting up his clothes, adding pins to them, making them look better and more unique because why would you want to dress the same as everyone else? he has a bunch of unfinished projects around his place, a vest he was adding patches to or a pair of jeans he was drawing spiderwebs all over in permanent marker but never got round to finishing. sometimes he’ll buy something just for the sake of cutting it up and ruining it (aka, making it better).

when he finds out you’re into crafts too — maybe he compliments a piece of jewellery you’re wearing and you beam, all thanks!! I made it!!! — hobie is immediately smitten. he’s like woah! that’s sick, can you teach me? (cos he’s totally smooth like that. he’s been watching you from across the pub all night and this is the perfect excuse for a ‘date’), and of course you say yes — if a pretty boy like hobie is asking to spend time with you you’re not gonna deny him.

you end up going to his place, and you bring some of your own supplies of course, but he surprisingly already has so. much. stuff. beads and wire, buttons and string, scraps of fabric, a janky old sewing machine that was probably second-hand but it does the job!! you teach him how to make earrings and you both end up making a whole bunch of them and then when you’re done he gives you his favourite pair, claiming pretty jewellery needs a pretty face to go with it :))

after that, craft dates become a regular thing with you and him. you make all sorts of things together, taking turns teaching each other the skills you already have. or sometimes you’ll be doing your own separate projects but in the same room, hobie’s music playing in the corner while he works on a pair of patchwork jeans and you work on a crochet top. after a few of these ‘dates’, hobie asks you out with a handmade necklace that holds one of his guitar picks on the chain. of course you say yes and keep the necklace forever and ever!!!!

also yes he absolutely has a first aid kit on hand. not so much for himself, usually when he cuts himself or pokes himself with a sewing needle he’ll just let it bleed lmao. but once you start coming over more he’ll make sure it’s always fully stocked. and when you hurt yourself, even if it’s just a tiny paper cut or something, he’ll dote on you, kiss it better, and wrap it in a spiderman bandaid <3

312 notes · View notes

hoeforhao · 8 months

Note

hi can i request for minghao and “Stop dancing like that or I’m going to cum right here” <3

jumped in queue because this minghao concept was eating my brains out

“Liking this Mr Xu? Or should i shift?” you move your hips slightly upwards to brush against the crotch of the town’s most feared assasin aka Mr Xu Minghao, giving him the sultriest lap dance your club has ever seen you doing while he holds down the urge to rip that black satin slip dress off of your glistening curves and take you then and there; infront of all your workmates because the last thing he cared about was a bunch of strangers watching him fuck his stress out into his favorite woman.

But he held it in as this time he wanted you all to himself, alone, away from all the excited and hungry eyes.Why? Because tonight he was about to ravish each and every corner of your skin, strip you down to your bare body and have you whimpering for more under him.

“I think just Ms Y/n’s moans would be enough entertainment for your party tonight. No need for visuals right?” Minghao looks at the leader of the squad dead in the eyes, notioning him take his minions out of his room right at this instant.

“Impatient enough Hao?” you quickly turn around on his lap as soon as your members leave the place, wrapping both of your arms around his neck as you now have complete access to tease the shit out of your secret lover’s patience. Bending your head down to minghao’s neck you place your dark wine lips against his sides,sensualy drawing them out on his spider lily tattoo, knowing quite well he never let anyone touch that part of him.

Minghao instantly pulls you back by your hair, your pale locks seeping out of his slender fingers, his dark eyes looking at you with something that would run down shivers against anyone else’s spine but not yours….cuz for you it meant you were successful in getting on his nerves and an invitation for you to keep testing him even more, so that later your face can be smothered down with ruined mascara and bleeding lipstick as he rails you without any mercy.

“I was away for one month and looks like my doll has already forgotten all the rules, hmm?” his hold on your hair tightens as he brings his mouth dangerously close to your throat, landing a sharp bite on your adam’s apple, making you move up his lap even more from the sudden pain,your bare cunt now resting perfectly atop his clothed dick.

“No panties!! Such a needy little whore for me, huh baby.” minghao throws his head back against the couch from the instant pleasure as you waste no time in being cocky again and start grinding on his boner, your hips sliding in and out against his thighs while you stare him down with luring eyes of a wolf, tempting him to break apart all the boundaries and get lost in your dom.

Minghao’s hands increase its grip on your loose hair as his other one starts travelling up your exposed back, around your belly and finally onto your barely covered tits. Not being able to contain the pleasure your erotic lap dance is giving him, his palms start massaging your soft mounds, pulling them out gently so that they slightly spill out of the lingerie, creating the perfectly erotic scene infront of him - his favourite woman seated on his lap, the moonlight shining through her hair, boobs lightly jiggling from the oh so slow action he bare pussy is giving is throbbing cock, while he keeps on pinching down on her already puffy nipples, earning the best alluringly soft moans from the lady.

“Stop dancing like that or I’m going to cum right here” he finally speaks up, words barely audible amidst the lewd train of groans and moans his voice carries out with itself, as he harshly tugs onto your scalp once again to stop you from completely pushing him off the edge that very instant. Your eyes shift from mean to meanest, looking at that one drop of blood painted against his lips from him trying to hold his release in after your merciless teasings.

“Would definitely not want those precious juices to spill themselves out onto your favorite pants instead of this dripping cunt, am i right Mr Min?”

#minghao smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #smut prompts #minghao imagines #minghao x reader #minghao x y/n #xu minghao #svt x y/n #svt x reader #minghao drabbles #svt drabbles #seventeen drabbles #kpop drabbles #svt imagines #sam writes

190 notes · View notes

kerubimcrepin · 22 days

Text

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 24]

And it's the last thing he would have wanted her to do :(

Once again, want to draw your attention to the fact that Julith doesn't seem to really care about Joris. She just set him and Bakara free to get hit by lasers and once he told her "I will never allow this to happen" she stopped paying attention.

Like, did her love hinge on the condition he didn't disagree with her or what? I am insane about her various behaviours and weird way of loving (AKA she doesn't really love anyone besides Jahash, and she might not really love Joris that much either. because she's like. known him for a day and 80% of it he called her cringe(because she's cringe))

Man, I know ankama didn't think about this all so deeply. They were like "cool lasers go pew pew pew". But I'm the CEO of caring too much. So I will literally do just that.

Anyway, her parenting style (setting him loose under some deadly lasers) reminds me of Kerubim, except she's doing this on purpose. yaay.

Joris has GOT to be in a literal state of shock and dissociation by now. Not even years of therapy will fix this.

By now he's seen roughly 1000 and 6 people die.

I've seen headcanons of him keeping his mother's cape. And while imagining Joris with a cool cape is nice and all, I really doubt he Would Fucking Do That.

Not because you can get it as a cosmetic item in Dofus MMO (you can, but it's dubiously canon imo). I just think he fucking hates her and wouldn't want that thang in his house.

It's just him VS. her now.

There's a heaviness to this. All of them (save for maybe Lilotte) have the knowledge that whoever hits the Dofus will get exploded together with them. But with the rush of adrenaline, inexperience of everyone involved (only warriors actively think "oh I am going to DIE for real this time"), and the "if we don't act now 1000 people will die" of this situation, I really doubt either of them thought too hard about it all.

But I think that once you're all alone with that thought - and it's obvious that it's you, who will have to do it, it sinks in a little better.

He looks so distraught...

Inside me are two wolves: one of them is saying, "Joris is so brave yet so scared. He knows he will probably not survive this, and he's 10, and, and--" and the other says "JORIS JURGEN SUICIDAL HEROISM MOMENT NUMERO UNO!!!!!"

Both of them are equally insane.

I NEED these frames injected into my bloodstream.

One counterpoint I can think to why Julith is so worried about this despite setting him free to roam under the deadly lasers, is that, as the guardian of the Ebony Dofus, she could simply go "Not that one. let that one live. No, you can kill the blonde that looks like my husband, I don't give a shit about her. But the weird little boy? Don't kill him."

But this is just me trying to fix Ankama's fucky-wuckies with my imagination.

It's jojover. Just completely and irreparably jojover.

This scene always gives me chills, more so than any other insanely evil interaction between Joris and Julith.

There are a lot of ways this scene gets me (imagine me putting on the tinfoil hat from my Aux Tresors kerulou days. I am about to be that insane): The way she envelops him stops any and all movement of him and his Dofus completely, and wipes out all the sound and momentum.

He is completely helpless against how easily she stopped him and took his only way to save everyone from him.

As he falls to the ground, there's a little sense of dreaminess to it — the cape seems far bigger than it should be, the time before he hits the floor seems longer than it should be — and make no mistake, it is on purpose. Seconds before he falls we are shown the floor, and it seems vaguely closer to us at the first glance, than the distance he falls. It's unexpected, it's destabilizing.

It's like he is dissociating, from the horror of not being able to do this.

It's like a nightmare.

And after doing this irreparable evil, and taking his one way of stopping this evil, she looks at him as if he is a tiny, stupid little thing, that doesn't know what it is doing.

As if it's not her fault that his only choice is doing something that will kill him, just to stop her.

And listen. There's guilt too. Because Joris is the one who allowed her to get the Ebony Dofus back. If he survives this and nobody else does, do you think he could ever forgive himself?

She's making him responsible for this.

They will never get to speak, but Jahash is happy, with what Joris has tried to do.

...Unlike Julith, who was reminded of Jahash by Joris's blue eyes, — I bet Jahash thinks they're similar to Bakara's.

There are so many emotions here. He will never get to speak to this man. This man is happy abotu what Joris has done. This man is the reason Joris's life is utterly ruined.

Is Jahash's smile an "I'm sorry that you have to do this, and see this," or "I'm proud of you," or "I wish things were different," or a mixture of all of them?

Joris will never get to know.

He saw something in her that other people didn't see.

She never really wanted to be a "butcher". Even if she could not overpower that destiny, — after Bonta took away her entire family and future, may I add, — the fact that she tried to begin with is saying a lot.

The look he gives her is something between "please don't prove me wrong" and "this isn't you".

I think she realizes now that there is no future where she, Jahash, and Joris are together and happy.

Four lives, in three generations of this family, ruined and uprooted and destroyed, because of some petty politics that were happening behind their backs.

I truly despise Bonta.

It's quiet. The only sound is his own heartbeat. Nothing seems quite real. He can barely believe that maybe she will stop this madness herself.

There is only one kind of reunion that they may have.

No matter how much she wanted a happier ending.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #dofusmovie #joris jurgen

53 notes · View notes

cosmic-whispers · 1 year

Text

The Building Bonds (Kisses: Part 1) - Azriel x Reader

Summary: A series of one-shots highlighting significant kisses throughout your relationship with Azriel. Part 1 aka The Cheek Kiss. (Part 2) (Part 3)

Warnings: None, just fluffy goodness

Word Count: 5.1k

A/N: This little mini-series was inspired by valentine's day coming up! The idea was to post the last part on the 14th, but I don’t think I’ll be able to hit that goal. I have very limited writing time, but I guess we will see! I hope you all enjoy!

The City of Starlight was indeed a wonder to behold. It truly did take your breath away. Enormous mountains surrounded the city, sharp peaks piercing into the sky, and the long Sidra River winded through, the water sparkling like sapphires and sprinkled with many large and small ships. The city was lively; the white marble and sandstone buildings provided shelter, merriment, and protection to its citizens. You found it almost impossible to believe that you were there, but the pleasant scent of salt in the air reminded you that you were not in a dream.

You turned back from the large window in the House of Wind and faced your companion.

“I can’t believe we’re here,” Eloise whispered to you. The healers from the other courts kept to themselves, and you both did the same. “It’s nothing like I expected it to be.”

Being born in the Day Court, you had never had much need for travel. Your home was known for the beauty of its mountainous planes, challenging the beauty of the city before you. The beaches of Day even rivaled the perfect waters of Adriata. From a very young age, you trained with the healers, learning everything you could about your special magic, and had never stepped foot on lands that were not in Day. Eloise was the same age, traveling where you traveled and learning what you learned, and the two of you quickly became best friends.

“It seems almost too good to be true,” you said, glancing back out the window.

“Don’t be so gloomy (Y/N/N),” she said, wrapping an arm around you. “If anyone saw you, they’d think you came here against your will.”

“As I recall, you practically did bring me here against my will,” you responded, raising your eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes and threw her dark hair over her shoulder. “Oh, please, don’t act as if I dragged you here under threat. You’re smart enough to realize what a great opportunity this is.”

You were considered a highly skilled healer, but you knew that you still had so much to learn and had been looking for an apprenticeship. When Helion initially approached you, mentioning that the Night Court was looking to build relations and wanted to offer healing apprenticeships to healers from other courts, you had hardly believed him. If you had not been in utter shock at seeing your High Lord and having him speak directly to you, you might have laughed in his face.

Being in the highest schooling level, Eloise had immediately volunteered, but you had been more hesitant. You did not know this court, and the cruel rumors spread about it were not favorable at all. You were comfortable in your home. You knew what to expect every day, and it scared you to take a chance. But the heckling from Eloise eventually broke you down and you had volunteered as well, lucky enough to have priority over the younger healers.

You knew an opportunity to train under the famed healers of this court would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience and you knew that you could not give up the opportunity. And yet…while able to recognize this, you still felt homesick and uncomfortable surrounded by strangers.

After a few more minutes, the door to the large drawing room opened and the High Lord of the Night Court came in, along with an elderly woman who you assumed was a healer based on her clothing and another Illyrian warrior.

Rhysand smiled at the group. He was a stunning male, his smile making you a bit dizzy. He also seemed quite smug, and you were sure that he knew the effect he had on every female and male in the room. “Welcome! We are so excited to host you here and to share the knowledge we have about healing,” he said. “This is Madja, our head healer. She will be in charge of your curriculum and will assess each of you individually to see where your weaknesses lie and determine the best training for you.”

You glanced at the elderly woman and she reminded you of the Day Court head healer–focused and serious, yet kind.

As Madja took over and began explaining your new roles and how housing would work, you could not help but glance at their third companion. The Illyrian male was massive, muscles cording every inch of him. His dark, membranous wings were spread large, and dark shadows swarmed around him, nearly concealing him completely from you.

He glanced at you, hazel eyes piercing into yours, and you felt heat immediately rush to your cheeks and the sight of his perfect face.

What was in the water here?

You quickly glanced away, embarrassed at being caught staring, and your eyes found Rhysand’s lavender gaze. He smirked, and you had the stark realization that the daemati probably read your mind.

You built up the iron walls of your mind, shutting him out.

“Azriel,” the high lord said, motioning to the warrior in the room, “and Cassian, my other brother, have also offered self-defense lessons if any of you are interested.”

You dared another glance at him, and your eyes met his again. And while he was imposing and intimidating, the soft look in his eyes made your anxiety relax. You looked back to Rhysand as he finished explaining the details of your stay, but you could still feel Azriel’s eyes lingering on the side of your face.

Azriel glanced back at you as Rhysand left. Madja began approaching the other healers one by one, and the others began mingling amongst themselves.

You were absolutely stunning, and he could not take his eyes off you. Your eyes were captivating, and the second they met his own, his heart inexplicably clenched tight in his chest. Your posture was reserved, your arms wrapping around you protectively as you glanced at your friend. You smiled softly at her, the curve of your lips and the crinkles by your eyes making your face come alive with emotion. He was mesmerized with you, and his shadows were no better. One of them managed to escape his hold, swarming undetected over you and reporting back to him

“Anxious, homesick,” it whispered to him.

Madja approached your friend, and Azriel decided to speak to you. He was always reserved and introverted, preferring to lurk in the shadows and observe. But something about you drew him near, and he knew he had to speak with you before he lost his chance. A small, unexplainable hope blossomed in his chest as he drew near, but he was quick to bury it deep, afraid of the possibility of getting his heart broken. He walked in your direction slowly, making his steps deliberately audible, and you turned towards him, a small smile gracing your face. Your enticing scent wafted toward him, and he moved closer to you, desperate for another hint of your enticing aroma.

“Hello, I’m Azriel,” he said, smiling softly at you.

You glanced down shyly, and he could not help but think about how adorable and tiny you were compared to him.

You looked back up at him and gave him a timid smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Azriel. I’m (Y/N).”

Fuck. Even your voice entranced him.

“How are you liking Velaris?” he asked.

“We haven’t had much time to explore the city, but it is very beautiful,” you said.

“It’s my favorite place in the world,” he admitted. “I’ve traveled to all courts and beyond; nothing has ever compared to its beauty.”

A small smirk began growing on your face, and he was intrigued at the playful mischief dancing in your eyes. Surprise gripped him for a moment, and he wanted to rectify his previous statement immediately. Perhaps something has compared to the beauty of his city.

“I suppose…” you trailed, “I mean, it’s not the Day Court, but I suppose it will do for now.”

He could not stop his chuckle, and his smile grew. “That’s not very gracious of you.”

“You’re right. I should be obsequious, fawning over my wonderful hosts. Do you think the High Lord will grant me special favors if I grovel?” you asked. What an impudent, wonderful girl.

“Depends. What special favors do you seek?”

“I think I’d quite like a library,” you said, smiling.

“Well, I can guarantee that your library will be spectacular,” he answered.

“Guarantee? Are you a betting male, Azriel? I’m quite difficult to impress,” you teased, catching him by surprise once more. Azriel had read you all wrong. Despite your initially shy nature, you were quick-witted, funny, and intelligent.

“The libraries in Velaris are wonderful,” he defended, pretending to be offended.

“You realize Helion’s libraries are the most renowned in Prythian, right?”

“Sound like unsubstantiated claims to me. Perhaps you can let me prove it to you.” You raised an eyebrow, silently asking him to continue. “I can show you the library here at the House of Wind,” he offered. A sudden fluttering erupted in his stomach, and he held onto the hope that you would say yes.

“Maybe you can show us all of Velaris.” He turned to see your friend walking towards them, the smirk on her face directed straight towards you.

“No, that’s not necessary, Azriel. You must be very busy and I don’t wish to burden you. We can take the tour with everyone else,” you said, staring pointedly at your friend.

“I’m Eloise; it’s a pleasure Shadowsinger,” she said, smiling at him as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders. He nodded at her in greeting and moved his gaze back to you.

“It really is no burden at all, (Y/N). I’d be delighted to show you around,” he said.

“See? He would be delighted. You can come to pick us up at the dorms on Saturday morning,” Eloise said. You were going to speak further before Madja called your name, and you excused yourself.

Eloise smirked at him, a knowing look on her face. He felt heat rush to his cheeks and ears but kept his expression stoic.

“So, these training classes…”

----------

The days leading to the weekend went by entirely too quickly. Your days were kept busy with healing lessons, shifts at the infirmary, and more studying when you returned to your shared dorm with Eloise. She had taken up on the offer to train with Azriel and Cassian and had been begging you to go with her.

“Please, it’s so much fun! And you get to see Azriel,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“Eloise! He was just being nice that day; it doesn’t mean anything. Besides, I know nothing about fighting. I’ll just embarrass myself in front of him.”

“Sounds like excuses to me. I don’t know anything either, but no one makes me feel less than. And I'm learning so much! Did you know that there are Valkyries here? We get to train with them! Just imagine training with fabled warriors of the past…” she said dreamily. Eloise was always much more adventurous than you, and you envied her sometimes. The most exciting things to ever happen in your life were because of her, and you knew that her insane ideas turned into the best memories.

“Please? I get lonely without you,” she pouted. "I'll do all your laundry for a month!"

“Fine, I’ll tag along next week,” you gave in, and she squealed. “But don’t think I’ve forgotten that you practically forced Azriel to give us a tour of the city tomorrow.”

“Oh, please! He would have offered it himself if I hadn’t suggested it.”

As you fell asleep that night, your stomach filling with butterflies and excitement of seeing Azriel in the morning, you could not help but think of what Eloise said, and hope began growing in your heart. You dreamed of comforting shadows and a large pair of wings.

You rose early the following morning, refreshed and excited for the day. You knew Azriel was a very busy male, and you felt giddy that he was taking the time to show you around the city. You dressed in a casual green dress, braiding your hair back and away from your face. You felt comfortable and confident, and although there was a possibility that this would fizzle out and turn into nothing more than a fond memory like all the other times, you held out hope for a chance.

You made your way into the living room of your small quarters just as there was a knock on the door.

Your heart jumped, and a smile spread on your face. You made your way to the door, opened it, and found Azriel leaning on the doorframe. He smiled gently when he saw you, and you answered with a smile of your own.

“Good morning Azriel,” you said, your mind blank for a moment at how handsome the Illyrian before you was. His eyes, his face, his wings… You felt heat rush up your chest and quickly turned back inside, unable to stare at him in those Cauldron-cursed leathers any longer.

“Please, come in. I’m going to see if Eloise is ready.”

You found her in the living room, still in her pajamas and wrapped tightly in a blanket. You froze for a moment and knew exactly what your best friend was plotting.

“Good morning, my lovely (Y/N/N). And you, Azriel. It seems as if I woke up a bit under the weather. I think I’m going to sit this one out, but you two go on without me.”

“How strange, you were perfectly healthy yesterday,” you said, looking pointedly at her.

She forced a slight cough and you rolled your eyes at her. “Well, you know how these things are. They get you out of nowhere.”

“I’ll heal you,” you insisted.

“No, no, don’t you worry about me. It’s nothing that some rest and a good cup of tea won’t help with. You two have fun,” she said, winking conspicuously at you, making the heat on your face intensify and you were afraid to look in the Shadowsinger’s direction. A hand, highlighted in blue light from his siphon, appeared before you.

“Shall we?”

You looked back at him, his hazel eyes shining brightly in amusement. You took his hand, the ridges of his scars like valleys and canyons. He hesitated for a moment, staring down at your joined hands.

“I hope you feel better, Eloise,” he said and led you out the door.

The sun was bright in the sky, and a light breeze swept across your skin. You looked over at Azriel and found his gaze already on you.

“Are you hungry? I figured we could take a walk and have breakfast after,” he said.

“Yes, that sounds great.”

He took you through the Rainbow atop a hill, a brightly colored part of the city filled with the strumming of musicians' instruments, paint strokes on artists' canvases, and twirls of the street performers. The edge of the river flooded the air with a salty breeze, and you found yourself falling in love with the merriment before you. Azriel even pointed out the sculpture garden to you and promised to bring you exploring soon. That had made your heart jump, and if he noticed, he did not say anything.

He brought you to a quaint, small breakfast cafe. If you had not been paying attention, you might have missed it completely.

The older woman behind the counter glanced up, and her face completely lit up when she spotted Azriel. She smiled wide and rushed to the front of the store, bringing his large frame into a warm hug.

“Azriel! It’s so good to see you!” she exclaimed.

“You too, Melva. I apologize I haven’t been around for a while, I’ve been incredibly busy,” he said, returning the hug and smiling gently at her. You watched the exchange with a growing smile, and your heart warmed at how much affection this woman showed him.

“Oh, and who is this?” she said, smiling at you.

“I’m (Y/N),” you said, reaching a hand out to shake, but she waved it off and pulled you into a hug.

“Any friend of Azriel’s is a friend of mine,” she said. “Come, sit and I will get started on your food,” she said and led you to a cafe table for two. There were several other patrons scattered throughout, but she sat you far away from them to maintain privacy.

“Same as always, Malva,” Azriel said, smiling at her, and she handed you a menu.

“Of course. I’ll bring you both some water. Take your time going through the menu, darling,” she said to you and walked away.

You looked up at him and smiled. “So, come here often?” you asked.

His cheeks darkened and he smiled sheepishly. Despite all the rumors you’ve heard of the feared beast that was supposed to be the Shadowsinger before you, the only word you could think of to describe him was adorable.

“What gave it away?”

“I’m quite observant.”

“Perhaps you should work as one of my spies,” he teased and you laughed.

“I discovered this place nearly a century ago. Kept coming because the food was so good, and Melva forced her way into becoming like a crazy aunt to me. When her mate died, I promised myself I would come here as often as I could and check up on her, make sure she’s doing alright,” he said.

“That’s very sweet of you, Azriel,” you said, your heart warming at the male in front of you. You were so fucked.

After a hearty breakfast, you made your way to Azriel’s favorite bookstore. The building was enormous, multiple floors filled with shelves and piles of book after book. An enormous spiral staircase filled the center of the building leading to hallways upon hallways and the unmistakable scent of the earthy pages carried through the air.

“Wow, this is so beautiful,” you said.

The two of you made your way through the sections, searching for your next read.

“What’s your favorite book?” he asked you.

“Crimson Nights,” you said. The classic read had been a haunting horror tale, filled with murder, cults, and witches and you had loved every second of it.

He looked surprised for a moment. “A horror?”

“You seem surprised,” you teased.

“You seem way too sweet to love something that dark,” he teased right back.

You felt heat rush to your face and turned quickly to the shelf next to you, picking out a random book to occupy your hands with something.

“That’s my favorite book,” he said. You glanced down at the tome in your hand, surprised. The Archer.

“What a coincidence,” you marveled. “I've never read it. What’s it about?”

“It’s about a warrior who struggles with his guilt and self-worth,” he said. He looked a bit embarrassed for a moment. “It’s a bit on the nose, I suppose, but it’s excellent.”

“I’ll give it a chance,” you said, smiling at him. "I hope he does realize his self-worth by the end."

He smiled bashfully and changed the subject. “I own the Second Edition,” he said proudly. You could tell by his tone and the look on his face that he treasured his collection.

“Just the Second?” you teased, looking back at him with a smirk.

“It’s not easy finding a First Edition,” he defended. “There were only 10 copies made.”

“I’ll overlook it this time,” you said, keeping the book in your hands and continuing to explore.

You left the bookstore with three new books and an extra one for Eloise. Despite her little trick that morning, you could not help but feel grateful that you were able to spend the time getting to know Azriel better. You both walked past a busy crowd, and his hand found yours, intertwining your fingers. You told yourself it was just so that you didn’t get lost in the crowd, but your heart began racing once you realized he did not let your hand go until he reached the front door of your dorm.

“Thank you so much for today, Azriel,” you smiled at him. “I had a lot of fun.”

“It was my pleasure, sweetness,” he said. The new nickname made your heart jump, and you shifted your eyes away from him.

He squeezed your hand, and you looked back up at him. He took a step closer to you and smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”

You nodded and turned back to enter your apartment, a happy smile on your face, and your heart felt full and excited. You didn’t even mind the knowing smirk on your best friend’s face.

-----------

Despite having to wake up at an unholy hour on Monday morning to be able to make it on time for training, you were excited. You had spent practically the entire rest of your weekend gushing about Azriel to Eloise. You didn’t want to get your hopes up only to end up with a broken heart, but you felt connected to him and hoped that he felt the same way.

Once you made it to the training field, you looked around for him. There was another Illyrian warrior you had never met speaking to a group of females, and you assumed this was Cassian. They all turned to look your way as you walked into the training room.

“Good morning Eloise,” he said.

“Good morning, everyone,” she responded and gestured to you. “This is my best friend, (Y/N). She’s going to be joining us for training!”

Cassian’s eyes lit up as he looked at you. “Oh, so you’re (Y/N)!” he exclaimed and smiled widely at you. You were confused for a moment, and a tall, beautiful female cut in quickly.

“Eloise talks about you all the time,” she said. “I’m Nesta. That’s Gwyn and Emorie.”

The other two females waved at you, and you waved back, smiling shyly at them.

“Nice to meet you. I’m excited to learn some self-defense. But, I must warn you, I don’t really know anything about it, so you might have your work cut out for you.”

The mischievous grin that spread on Cassian’s face caused a trickle of fear to travel through you. “Excellent. Let’s get started then.”

As you got into position to learn stretches, you looked around for your Spymaster. Eloise seemed to have the same thought as you did.

“Where is Azriel today?” she asked.

“Out on a mission,” Cassian said, showing you where to position your foot to get the deepest stretch in your hamstring.

Your stomach tightened, and worry began to cloud your mind. The burning from the stretch in your leg was non-existent for that brief moment of panic. “Is everything all right? Is he safe?”

Cassian looked at you with a curious expression, and you wondered if you had been too obvious in your interest for his friend. “He’ll be alright. Nothing out of the ordinary,” he said. “It’s actually kind of a good thing. His birthday is coming up in two weeks and this gives us ample time to plan a surprise birthday party. You should come!”

“To the party?”

“Yes, he’ll love to see you there,” he said and winked at you.

You felt heat rush to your face and were glad to have an excuse to look away from him when he asked you to switch legs.

“I know I just met him, but Azriel doesn't seem like the type to have wild parties where half the city is invited,” you commented, sinking deeper into the stretch and wincing at the burn.

“I’m not inviting half the city. I’m inviting you,” he said, giving you a pointed look. “And you, too, Eloise.”

“We will be there!” she answered, also sending a wink your way.

You rolled your eyes and turned your focus back to the workout you were doing, but you couldn't help but feel grateful to your best friend. All the good things recently in your life were thanks to her. You had thought that you would feel homesick and lonely, but thanks to her intervention, you met Azriel, and Velaris was beginning to feel almost like home.

--------

The morning of Azriel’s party, you were awakened entirely too early by your trouble-making best friend. She insisted on getting up early to do your hair and makeup, and you had to remind her that it was a small get-together, not a grand ball. She didn’t seem to pay you any mind, rambling about how this was the first time you went to do something fun that did not involve healing or training.

All day long, your thoughts trailed back to the gift waiting in your room. While you knew he would appreciate it, your stomach still rumbled nervously at how he would react. After spending time with the Shadowsinger, you knew he was entirely too considerate and too reserved to express outward dislike, so you knew that his reaction was not what was making you nervous. You wanted him to see that you cared for him and listened to him. You desperately hoped that he liked his gift.

You wore a brand new blue dress–honoring Azriel’s siphons. It was flowy and pretty, little pieces of fabric twisted together to form small flowers on the skirt and the off-the-shoulder sleeves flattering your figure. You put some light makeup on and styled your hair down for the first time in a long time.

Eloise squealed when she saw you. “You look so beautiful!” she said, bounding towards you and pulling you into a bear hug.

“Thanks, El. You look very beautiful, too!”

“Oh, I know,” she said. Her black halter dress hugged her tall figure perfectly and the high bun she wore made her sharp features more prominent. “But you! Oh, he won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”

You rolled your eyes at her and fixed her with a pointed stare. “Don’t start.”

“Fine, fine,” she said, waving a hand at you. “Let’s go!”

---------

When Azriel stepped into the townhouse after a long day of work, all he wanted to do was take a bath, read a book, and go to sleep.

That was not to be.

His shadows informed him of the gathering of people attempting to hide in the dark. He heaved a sigh and was not able to control the smile that bloomed on his face. This Cauldron-cursed family would not leave him alone and he would not have it any other way.

As he stepped into the common room and the inhabitants yelled “Surprise!” right at him, he pretended to be shocked.

“Happy birthday, brother!” Cassian yelled as he rushed towards him and tackled him in a bear hug. The male lifted Azriel off his feet, and he laughed.

Looking around the room filled with his closest friends--his family, he was pleasantly surprised to find you. Cauldron end him, you were absolutely ravishing, the shade of blue of your dress perfectly matching his siphons, and as the rest of his family greeted him, he was distracted, his eyes unable to tear away from you for more than a few moments.

Despite the party transpiring for over an hour, he had not had the chance to speak to you for more than a few moments. As soon as he approached you, someone else would come to drag him to a different conversation. Or you would be engrossed in a conversation with Nesta or Mor or Feyre. All he wanted was a moment to speak to you alone, but it seemed everyone in the room was intent on not letting that happen.

“Time for gifts!” an intoxicated Mor yelled out, and everyone gathered around in a large circle in the room.

Mor grabbed the first gift off the table that hosted them.

“This one is from me!” He opened the gift bag and brought out an oral hygiene kit. He was confused for a moment and wondered if Mor was trying to subtly send him a message, but he smiled and nodded when she looked at him expectantly.

“I’m so glad you like it! Alright, next gift!” She handed him a wrapped gift.

“That one is from me,” your voice carried from across the room, and his eyes met yours.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said, but you waved him off.

He carefully tore off the wrapping paper. It was a book. As he turned it over to read the cover, his hands froze, and his eyes widened in shock. He looked up at you, disbelieving, and all you did was smirk. He opened the front cover, mindful of the frail pages and edge, just to check, and there it was. A First Edition copy of his favorite book. All he could do for a few moments was stare at the book and then stare back at you.

“(Y/N), this is…” he trailed off, speechless for one of the few times in his long life.

“The best gift you’ve ever gotten? You’re welcome, Azriel,” you teased again. Despite your words, he could sense the nervousness in the shifting of your eyes and the biting of your lip. Why would you be nervous? This was the best gift he had ever received. He knew how difficult it was to find; he was afraid to ask what you had done to secure it. To gift it to him.

“Yes,” he confirmed. Your smile turned shy at the intensity of his gaze, and he knew he was completely done for. He rose from his seat and approached you. He leaned far down to reach you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your warm body close to his. He let go after a few short moments, keenly aware of the looks and smirks directed his way from the rest of his family. Before he could step away, your sweet scent overwhelmed his senses, and he could not stop himself from leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on the soft skin of your cheek. You seemed shocked for a moment and looked up at him with wide, dazed eyes. He wished he could stare at you forever.

“Wow…that good, huh?”

“Yes,” he repeated, the smile still etched on his face. He did not think he had ever smiled this much for anyone before, but it escaped him whenever you were near. He could not bring himself to mind. “It’s the best gift I’ve gotten.”

“Well, I wanted to do something nice for you,” you whispered. “I was very nervous when I first got here, but you became my friend and made me feel at home. Thank you, Azriel.”

His heart melted and filled with joy. “Anytime.” One of the shadows he had tightly reeled in escaped from his hold and danced around the skin of your wrist and you giggled.

The rest of the night was spent opening the rest of his gifts from his family, sharing memories, laughs, and drinks, and he spent it all by your side.

Taglist: @percyjacksonspeen @theravenphoenix26 @meritxellao, @icey--stars @blurredlamplight @kuraikei @everyonehatescarmen, @96jnie @alexboshallex @h0peless-r0m4ntic888 @issybee0611 @alainabooks143 @overcaffeinated-ginger @fuckinhellyall @brekkershadowsinger @poshestpigeon @kennedy-brooke

Please message me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist. :)

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic

500 notes · View notes

raayllum · 3 months

Text

More Than Anyone or Anything

or why I think Callum is Like That: The Meta.

AKA because I realized that while I've talked about Snake Boi Callum and why I view him that way before, it was mostly in regards to explaining his canon traits that aren't usually very disputed. These being:

His sometimes obsessively dangerous qualities, specifically surrounding magic (1x04, 1x05, 2x04, 4x01, 4x02, 4x04)

His ambitious side (man heard from the one magical 'expert' he knows that humans just flat out cannot do primal magic naturally, said fuck that, and got it in a week after one week of practice)

His temper (1x01, 1x06, 1x09, 2x07, 3x08, 4x01-4x04, 5x01, 5x05, 5x08)

His ruthlessness (turning on Viren the second Ezran is in danger despite trusting him for years beforehand; his attitude towards Claudia in 2x07 after she's likewise betrayed him; smiling when killing corrupted soldiers in 3x09 even when Ezran expresses grief and Janai expresses horror when she was facing a similar scenario during the timeskip; arguing to take the violent route in 5x05 whereas Ezran and Rayla pick the more preventative one).

Therefore, for this meta, I will be focusing specifically on why I interpret Callum as Selectively Loyal to the point of being willing to help free Aaravos in order to spare, specifically, Ezran and Rayla's lives (and not necessarily anyone else's, such as Zym and Soren).

Strap in boys — this is going to be a long one.

Disclaimers: As always, this is just my opinion, and an interpretation being popular in fanon does not automatically mean it's better or more valid / rooted in canon than any other kind of (less popular? maybe common) interpretation. I will also be making it clear when I'm drawing on sections/snippets from supplementary material (TDP short stories, novelizations, and Tales of Xadia) but give that it's supplementary material, feel free to take it with the ultimate grain of salt.

Related Metas (that's worth reading if you're interested in other Snake Boi aspects that are not going to be heavily touched on here):

Callum's temper (S1-S3) and how it links to him typically feeling helpless to fix/aid his loved ones, causing him to lash out even sometimes at them

How Callum operates differently from Ezran and Rayla (S1-S4), but very well embodied I believe by the scene in 5x05 where Ez and Rayla side with the "violence as a last resort" option and Callum does not

How Callum views Zym and the egg in Arc 1 differently from Ez and Rayla, or how Callum sees things as tools and why he gets fixated on / what he projects onto objects (much like Viren with the mirror)

Differing Priorities for Callum and Rayla in TTM, in which Rayla only engages in their scheming because she thinks Viren is a threat to the whole world, and Callum comes up with their scheme because he just wants to give her closure

What does the Trio's Tales of Xadia's bios actually mean? (this one will be touched on the most down below, so feel free to skip unless you want a more detailed refresher)

Specifications:

If you're someone who doesn't see Callum this way, but you're genuinely interested in reading a differing perspective, please read on. If you're someone who doesn't necessarily see Callum this way, but you're curious and/or on the fence, please read on. If you'd like to add your own thoughts to this post, feel free to add on if it's in support; if it's differentiation, please make your own post (I'll engage respectfully with if it I want to).

If you're someone who is only going to get upset with my viewpoint, please curate your internet experience and do not read this post. If you're only going to make thinly veiled meta rebuttals of this post in a rude way ("even though some people may think...", linking to this post, general assholery), please do not read this post. You would be far happier if you were less obsessed with an opinion I've held for 5+ years and months & months before you likely joined the fandom. i just want to chill in my corner, please do not chuck pillows at me for doing what I've always had a good time doing that doesn't hurt anyone.

With all of that out of the way, let's get into it

What do I mean when I say selective loyalty?

Loyalty has always been an interesting trait to me, simply because in the bulk of storytelling, it is a necessary character trait for a story to function. One of the biggest things that a character can do to be disliked is be a traitor towards someone that trusted them, and if a character is too disloyal, they can be hard to engage with due to a lack of consistency. Characters who start out loyal to no one/nothing inevitably have arcs, provided they stick around in the story long enough, of garnering loyalty for someone (usually found family loved ones > a cause) in order for them to be able to progress as a character. We want characters to bond, and we want them to be there for each other, and if they're not at all, we want to see what happened or what other bonds they might form with other people. If not loyal, we want to see why they're working with someone at the very least.

Therefore, everyone in real life or in fiction has some elements of 'selective loyalty,' since we all have people (the people we know and love) we are more loyal to, fundamentally, than others (strangers / people don't know at all). It's just a natural normal thing to adhere more to valuing and looking after the people in your immediate circles over people you don't know at all, even if that doesn't mean we're void of caring about strangers, either. Our empathy or compassion, as well as the social structure of our living units and lives, are more cohesion for caring for strangers than it is for competing with strangers or being wholly indifferent.

For a quick overview of the way selective loyalty can work, I'm actually going to talk about Claudia quickly, and her internal hierarchy. While she is loyal to the princes ("Their Dad is dead and you lied about it. Plus they're our friends. It's wrong") to the point of that possibly being an opportunity for severance, initially, with her father ("Careful, if you tell the truth you will lose her"), Claudia's loyalty to her father ultimately trumps her loyalty to the princes, and even to her family with Soren.

For the opposite approach of selective loyalty, I'm going to talk about Rayla, who regularly bails out strangers (the boys in 1x03, Phyrrah in 2x07) and enemies (Bait as a frenemy in 1x05, Nyx in 3x05) as well as the people she grows to love (the boys on regular intervals). She and Runaan, as is Soren, are all willing to put their perceived missions/duties not only above but in direct opposition to their familial loyalty / family ties.

Callum, TO ME, is not, and here's why.

When I say that Callum is selectively loyal, I mean that there is ultimately nothing he will put above Ezran and/or Rayla at any interval with very few exceptions (aka if they're still breathing, he's still going to be fighting for them). This is for a few reasons.

I'm going to talk more about why it's Ez and Rayla specifically later, but for now I want to talk briefly about how they factor into his decision making and what see of them from people who have lost his loyalty.

Despite knowing and having trusted Viren for the bulk of his life ("Claudia! Lord Viren! Anyone!"), as soon as Callum learns that Viren has put Ezran substantially at risk ("Two [targets]? What do you mean?" "I'm here for the king, and I'm also here for his son, Prince Ezran") Viren is fucking Dead To Him.

It's not just that Viren lied, it's that Viren's lies and choices put Ezran in danger, and that's just not acceptable. We see this happen again with Claudia in S2, even after Callum defending her and trying to give her chances. She lied, yes, but she scares Ezran and attacks Rayla again, and that's the breaking point.

When you threaten the people he loves, when you scare them, if he trusted you, he will never look at you the same way again. Any loyalty he felt towards you will snap and snap hard, permanently, like a wishbone.

Callum loves and cares for other people. He loved and cared for Viren and Claudia. But unlike Ezran, who is willing to give Claudia a chance in 3x09 to the point of running after her, helping hand extended, and unlike Rayla, who still adamantly loves Runaan even after their fight and with no hint of change from him, Callum does not take other people hurting his family lightly, at all.

He loves and cares for Amaya, and Soren, and Harrow. But even Harrow, his father, is someone he's willing to put on the backburner — despite having an offered chance from Rayla to save him — in order to do what Harrow asked and what Callum's first instinct is: to look after his brother, because it is fundamentally unsafe for Ezran to stay at the castle for any longer, and he knows it.

Callum knows what the egg might mean, but he does not follow Rayla out the dungeon door blindly. He runs only after Ezran does, and only after Claudia might hit Ezran with lightning. Then he acts. Then he makes a choice. Because his loyalty to his brother outweighs after other substantial relationship in his life, at this point, but it doesn't necessarily stay that way.

Inner circle

In Tales of Xadia, all the characters are given values. While the values have more generic explanations (i.e. Callum's highest one, Liberty, is labelled as, "Have you ever resisted the control of others? This value is about freedom and autonomy. You’re motivated by a world without oppression or suppression") the characters individual bios help offer more clarity on their specifics. Callum's, specifically, states, "I am beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom." Ouch, from Katolis' crown prince and Ezran's heir apparent.

It is, of course, important to not take this trait entirely literally. If Callum truly valued his own personal autonomy over everything else, he would've taken Finnegrin's deal in 5x08 in a second if all he wanted as his own freedom. Instead, Callum's highest value being Liberty is far more about his place with Freedom as a Theme more than something he wholly actively desires; again, we see in 5x08 he's willing to risk more of his freedom by doing dark magic in order to save Rayla.

There are things that Callum values more than his own personal freedom and there are things that he values more than magic (2x04: "Callum, you're being an idiot! Why would you do that? You can't risk your life to learn magic") vs throwing himself off the top of the Storm Spire at the slimmest chance of, once again, saving Rayla.

That said, this value and quote is still very useful, as it does then, beg the question, of who exactly is Callum's inner circle? Well...

Ezran and Rayla are the most important people in the entire world to him. Full stop. There is nothing he will fundamentally put above them. He only stays behind in 1x06, thereby not sacrificing the egg by proxy, because Rayla points out "We'll need to be up here to pull [Ezran] out." Even when he was stressing about whether they'd gotten to the Sea of the Cast Out on time, the second Rayla showed a hint of major discomfort/potential self-deprecation, he was offering to get back into the goddamn boat to comfort her ("I'm getting out—" "No. I can't do it, but you have to"). He's hesitant to go into town to find a vet for the egg because "We will definitely find some elf hating humans," pouting further when Rayla brushes him off, and flings himself off his balcony when he thinks there's even a chance that Ezran isn't okay into what he knows would subsequently be a trap. He's the first to say that they need to leave Rex Igneous' chambers after protecting Ezran from falling rocks with his own body, and the last to actually leave, almost being crushed by rocks himself because he's so committed to standing there and watching Rayla leave.

He equates Rayla's love for him with his love for Ezran on Day Nine (2x03: "I couldn't tell him. And I understand why you couldn't tell me. When you care about someone, it's hard to hurt them. Even when what you're saying is the truth.")

Hell, he even forgets that Sol Regem is there in 3x01 because he tunnel visions on Rayla needing his help so intensely she has to point out the massive ton dragon actively trying to kill them to him.

He's a nurturer, a fixer, a solution seeking. He wants to make you feel better ("See it's working right? Don't you feel a little better?"), he is a kind reassuring word ("Don't be so hard on yourself, Ez") always, he thinks of your problems even when you don't (Rayla's binding in 1x07), he will lay his life down for you without question ("I am Prince Ezran"), he will get mad at you for treating yourself poorly (3x04, like almost all of S4), he dotes, he notices, he will compromise his beliefs for you ("Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it was all for nothing? [...] But Rayla was in trouble"—S2 novelization).

You mean everything to him: "Rayla's strong, thin arms wrapped around him meant everything" (S2 novelization of the hug scene in 2x04) / "You're my brother, and you mean everything to me" (2x06).

You are his whole world.

If you're part of his inner circle, and not everybody is, so let's talk about it.

[ Callum, excluding Claudia and Soren from their support system, even though the siblings haven't yet betrayed them, while including Rayla, even though he and she haven't made up yet. ]

What about Soren and Zym?

As stated before, Callum's selective loyalty does not mean he doesn't care about other people in his life, such as Claudia (in the past) and people like Amaya, Soren, and Zym in the present. Merely that, slightly like Claudia, Callum does have an internal hierarchy of care — the way you might have friends vs best friends — of who takes priority, and we see S1, S4, and S5 in particular demonstrate this quite well.

As already stated, Callum prioritizes Ezran over the egg in 1x06 and is held back emotionally by Ezran fuelled logic and physically by Rayla. In 1x07, he doesn't want to risk going into town — even to potentially find help for the egg — because of his last disastrous experience with humans and Rayla. In 2x04, Callum is perfectly happy to walk around a sea to let Rayla avoid her fear of water, and approximately 5 minutes later is getting on Ez and Rayla's case for goofing off (with Rayla's thinly veiled and fallible disguise) because "Sometimes getting someplace slightly faster is important, like right now." Wasn't quite the tune he was singing earlier, now was it? For Zym, we see this again in 3x04 — Rayla is having a breakdown, so she has more of an excuse, but Callum should conceivably be much more clear headed, and he still tunnel visions into leaving Zym alone with Nyx leading to the theft. Likewise in 4x07 when the group thinks Zym might be gone, Ezran is the one who states, "I'm not leaving without him," and Ez and Rayla are both pretty broken up about it; Callum is sad, for sure, but he mostly focuses on taking care of Ezran and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Then you have Amaya, who Callum loves dearly, but isn't particularly torn up over not trusting or lying to (1x04, 5x03) in spite of being close to her, and isn't as vexed even when he thinks that maybe something bad has happened.

Even when Callum thinks it was bad, and potentially very bad ("The way Gren was talking, I thought maybe the world was ending or something!") he doesn't get angry and he doesn't get demanding. This is very different from how he responds to Ezran and Rayla being potentially in danger or just in trouble.

Which on that note also highlights another key importance between how Callum treats Rayla, in particular, versus how he treats Soren. Now, you could argue that Callum in 5x01 has emotionally matured/healed further than he has in 4x01 prior to Rayla's return, and that would be perfectly fine to do. However, it doesn't change the fact that just the hint of Soren keeping a secret — even before Callum thinks, at all, that it's about Ezran — makes him wait on the battlements to coldly and sternly interrogate Soren about it. With Soren, he demands,

C: I know this — the ties are true as the ocean is deep [...] It means I trust her. Unconditionally. Let her go. Now. R: About your key and the bow. I can explain. C: No, I meant what I said. You don't have to explain or justify anything to me.

Even when Rayla engages in actually shady behaviour — omitting the truth if not outright lying, stealing his key, and retrieving a painfully poignant weapon — Callum doesn't get mad, at all. Soren just implied he was potentially keeping a secret from Callum at the council meeting and lowkey got his ass handed to him, with Callum literally shoving him out of his way and needing Corvus' help to coral the angry step-mage.

Furthermore, even when Soren goes missing in 4x06, although concerned, Rayla is by far the most broken up about it. Ezran is optimistic because he's, well, Ezran; Rayla is torn because even though she doesn't know Soren that well, she feels like it was 100% her fault he's gone missing and has possibly gotten hurt; and Callum, well... mostly focuses about how she feels about it, and less so about his actual friend (because if Ezran or Rayla are emotionally hurting, they will take priority to him). He's focused on making sure she feels better.

Again: Callum loves Amaya, and Zym, and Soren. He loves them dearly. He wants to and does protect them. He can and will take care of them. But push come to shove, they're not in his inner circle — he doesn't trust them the same way, and he doesn't focus on them the same way, because when it comes to his inner circle, he loves them

More Than Anyone or Anything

So after seeing Callum like this from S1 onwards, you can imagine I was pretty thrilled upon opening up his bio in Tales of Xadia — which seems to be the most 'canon' of the supplementary materials thus far (scenes and ages are changed in the novelizations; timelines get a little wonky in the prequel graphic novels; some designs from "Callum's Spellbook" ended up being different; the art book is full of beautiful concepts, of course, that never understandably got off the ground) except perhaps for Though the Moon — said the quiet part out loud. Not only does TOX have plenty of lore drops and hints at future arcs that are coming to fruition (Aaravos' connections to Elarion, mentioning the Great Bookery of Lux Aurea and Leola, etc) but they did something very interesting when it came to what values which character had. There's some leeway as this is very much an Arc 1 reading (probably most clearly seen in Soren's bio) but there is still plenty of bleed over into Arc 2.

Now, as I said before, we don't want to take the Values too literally. As talked about previously, a lot of the characters highest values seem to be things their arcs are set up to thematically test rather than being a 1:1 what they value the most. But I feel like you can glean a good deal from them, so let's look at the trio:

EZRAN:

Justice — 10: I expect the best of people and try not to become an agent of cruelty.

Devotion — 8: All creatures—regardless of origin—deserve love and appreciation.

Liberty — 8: I value the liberty of everyone, sometimes even more than my own.

RAYLA:

Devotion — 10: Love and devotion compel and define me.

Justice — 8: At great personal cost I will strive for what’s right.

Liberty — 8: My only allegiance is to my heart and those who know it.

CALLUM:

Liberty — 10: I’m beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom.

Devotion — 8: I value those close to me more than anyone or anything.

Mastery — 8: I aspire to know the great wonders of every primal magic.

Out of all the more 'heroic' characters listed in the handbook (Amaya, Janai, Aanya) only Callum and Lujanne do not have Justice, "Have you ever been compelled to fix what’s wrong? This value is about balance, virtue, and reward. You’re motivated by adherence to fairness and what you think is right" among their top 3. Each have it at a 6, instead, which the guide labels as, "This matters, but so do many things" and is the second lowest ranking a value can have. None of the main cast have any value at the highest ranking, 12, either, to help indicate scale perhaps.

Devotion, then, is the one we're currently the most interested in for Callum, since as said before, while the general value descriptions are useful, the specific ones help show more indication. Devotion is referred to in Tales of Xadia as, "Have you ever been obligated to others? This value is about duty, faith, and friendship. You’re motivated by the bonds of loyalty and your love for others."

Although devotion is Rayla's highest value, her devotion value makes no indication of who/what she is Devoted to. Whereas Ezran's reflects his deep love and appreciation towards animals (hence saving the baby glow toads in S5) and Callum's we'll get to in a moment, Rayla's we're not privy to. Instead, we can look at her Liberty value, as it states that her allegiance is to her heart ("My heart for Xadia") and to her loved ones (her friends, her family). Much of her arc is therefore feeling torn between what she thinks/feels her duty is versus what her heart is telling her, indicated by her letting Marcos go in 1x01 and the subsequent fallout.

We can also see her state this more clearly in Through the Moon, in which Callum is the one primarily concerned with her parents ("he’s stuck worrying about her parents. About what happened to Runaan. She can’t move on, not without knowing the truth of what happened [...] I hope you find your parents. And Runaan"), versus Rayla going along with the plan, "Callum, listen. Soren was worried about Viren too. Worried that we never found a body. We need to know what happened to Viren. He’s a threat to the whole world! This might be the only way to be sure he’s actually gone! [Upon entering the Portal...] Okay. Viren. My parents. Runaan" and then 5x01 spells it out even more directly.

R: Callum and Ezran need me. A great evil is trying to return to Xadia and we have to stop it, at any cost. I think this is what you would want me to do. I love you, and I haven't forgotten about you. I never will. [...] It hurts me to know they're trapped like this. It's agonizing. But our mission comes first. The world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused.

Now this makes sense, as Rayla having this push and pull has not only been a defining feature of her arc most seasons, but is ultimately what's going to be the most challenged when the Callum possession plotline rears its head. Does she kill/incapacitate the man she loves in order to protect the world, or does she fight to get him back no matter what, even if that may lead to ruin and chaos? (I'm hoping for the second one, but I will eat either up, lemme tell you.) Does she finally refuse to sacrifice, or does she barrel on hoping she'll only have to sacrifice herself?

The reason I bring Rayla up at all is because I think it provides a good contrast to how Callum operates, specifically in 5x04, in which case he reaffirms his devotion ("I would do anything for you") and then risks everyone's lives by staying late at the Great Bookery, even when Rayla says three times that well, this isn't the time: "Not yet, Callum... Believe me, I want to do something, but... Callum, we need to leave!"

Rayla cares about everyone, and is willing to risk her life for enemies and for strangers. She will abandon her mission for the world in favour of looking after individuals because they need help, regardless of what it asks of her: "Live or die, this dragon goes home." (And because she believes Ezran and Callum can accomplish the mission without her, but that's a post for another day.) As Bloodmoon Huntress makes explicit, as Ethari says:

Who I love, where I love, what I love, are all specific. But to Runaan and those like your parents... love is rooted in all families, all creatures. Souls like that feel called to protect everyone as fiercely as those they hold close. Each time Runaan leaves, it is with the weight of knowing that he may not come back. That to fulfil his duty, he may need to sacrifice everything, himself, and all that we have here.

Rayla likewise feels called to protect everyone, and that's precisely why by the end of Bloodmoon Huntress she's chosen to literally and figuratively follow in Runaan's career path, in order to be able to help protect and save people like Suroh (a stranger she immediately becomes entangled with). As Rayla says to the vision of Runaan and her parents in 5x01, "I think this is what you would want me to do," because they are ultimately all more alike (even in the occupations Rayla holds, such as assassin or dragonguard) than they are dissimilar.

The reason I highlight Rayla here is because 1) it is her highest value, being the only character to have it as said highest value (Claudia's, likewise, is only an 8 — but everything she does is indeed for her father, and unknowingly herself) and 2) I think it provides a clear contrast to Callum.

Because Callum's devotion does outline who, or what, he's loyal to. He isn't loyal just to causes and he isn't loyal just to concepts. While he cares about the world, when his back is up against the wall and it's a choice between that kind of security vs the life of a loved on (Ez, Rayla), Callum will always choose the latter. He cares about the world — to a Point.

I've talked about it before, but merely a statement of "I value those close to me more than anything" would accordingly be a lot more vague. There could be discussions and debates on what the 'anything' constitutes (morals, responsibilities, hurt feelings) with a lot more grey room as to whether it would include people (strangers).

“Maybe there is something I can do,” Callum said. “Ezran, you stay here. Protect Bait and Zym. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon—with Rayla.” [...] Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it all ended up being for nothing? […] But Rayla’s blade bounced off with a clang, sparks flying. She reeled back and tried again. Nothing happened. She was in trouble. Callum inched toward Claudia’s [book].

—Book 2: Sky novelization

But the inclusion of "more than anyone" changes that. It does include people. There is no wiggle room about that.

Now, I'm not going to base my whole thing on one (1) statement from a supplementary material. As previously stated, I've seen Callum with that exact same sentiment for years now, well before Tales of Xadia (March 2022) was released, and well before S4 or S5 premiered. I've gone over a lot of the reasons I thought Callum had selective loyalty even in S1, but I haven't touched too much on one of the biggest reasons why I think that selective loyalty includes a devotional component that borders on dangerous (at least, in a story). And that's, well...

“Rayla told me you used Dark Magic,” [Ethari] said, more stiff and cold. Callum shrank a bit, but his eyes hardened. “I couldn’t just let her die.” “You’d do it again." The prince scowled. “I’m not like Aaravos. He twisted the primal to be like Dark Magic. I would never do that.” “Unless you felt like you had to,” [Ethari] reiterated. “To save Rayla.” “Wouldn’t you do anything to save the person you love?”

—chapter 13 of a fic I co-wrote called in search of silver linings (we discovered gold) from july 2019, respectively

As soon as Callum opened up the door with dark magic in 2x07, I knew it was something he likely would never be able to entirely close. Not for lack of trying or wanting — but that his willingness to engage in dark magic at all spoke to a few different things. The first was the effectiveness — what spell to use, what would be most useful, and what Rayla's biggest problem would be (her swords unable to cut chains) — but most of all was what pushed him there: his devotion.

While magic has always been the thing presenting Callum with paths (to be a mage or not a mage, to be a primal or a dark mage), his bonds with other people, and his love for them — Rayla in particular — has always been what's actually pushed him down certain paths. His love for his mother, and her love for him, is what helps him unlock the sky arcanum. Callum unlocks his wings out of his love for Rayla; he goes down on the path of mage because "you called me a mage, and that felt right."

Although mastery of magic is one of Callum's highest values (an 8, just like his devotion), it was always clear to me that magic is not something Callum values above the people he loves. He can be obsessive, and his love for magic can sometimes put himself and other people unintentionally at risk, but thus far we've always seen him course correct the minute he realizes what's happening. The second things begin to go south at the Banther Lodge, Callum reflects, "We never should've come here," and completely forgoes the quest for the cube. He tries to risk his life just for magic in 2x04, but as we've gone over, he's unable to go through with it, but he will risk his life for his loved ones.

His rejection of dark magic was, to me, of being a dark mage, of not also pursuing primal magic, of relying on dark magic. Not that he would never, under any circumstance, ever do dark magic again if the show put him in the right circumstances. And then he did, in spite of knowing it would make him more vulnerable to Aaravos, in spite of not having any confirmation it wouldn't bring on a second possession, in spite of the fact he was fine being tortured if that meant not doing it or participating.

Then we have Callum giving up the spell, and the fact that the Ocean arcanum is linked more directly to love within his arc — "To love is to simply know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep" (5x01, 5x08) — in addition to being aware that there are unknown depths in what he's willing to do for said loved ones/Rayla.

This is not to say that none of the main cast would do dark magic — although I don't think Soren or Ezran ever would, and I think Rayla would but only perhaps using herself as spell parts — but that, as the primary mage character, it's going to and is playing a much bigger part in Callum's arc than the others, who are given other thematic considerations.

He hates dark magic. He doesn't want to let Aaravos control him. He refuses to help Finnegrin. He folds on all of those things motivated by love. It's a weakness and a strength; something that, in my eyes, will likely lead to his fall to Aaravos ("Seems to me love's got a tighter grip on you than those chains around your wrists, so I'll do you a favour [by killing Rayla] and set you free") as well as what might save him. But to focus on the fall, with everything already said behind us:

Why Love Instead of Curiosity?

Now, obviously the theory of "Callum will free Aaravos because of [insert non possession reason here]" could be wrong. There's merits in having arcs about the tragedy inherent in losing your agency, it would still open up an interesting arc after the fact, and all that good stuff.

Callum has also very much always been an Icarus figure. He can be obsessive with magic, he can take it too far, and he does have a deep curiosity and thirst for knowledge that has already gotten him in trouble by not excluding dark magic from the bunch.

And deep curiosity is already hinted to be what partially causes him to fall further into Aaravos' clutches in a few different places. The mirror ("What secrets are you hiding?") and the cube ("Perhaps it will be you, Callum, who discover's the cube's secrets") seem accordingly linked and fittingly so, for the Mystery of Aaravos, as is magic: "it's the secret of the primal".

Zubeia also warns regarding curiosity, citing that, "Aaravos was able to give them something they wanted very badly. Aaravos chose as his instruments people who had strong minds and strong hearts… but who had an insatiable thirst and fascination with magic. Aaravos could offer them access to the great mysteries of the universe. Mages were his prey," which implies that this thirst for magic is what got them (primarily) into trouble. This is reflected (pun intended) in both Aaravos' reading of Viren as "You are too curious, hungry for knowledge and power," and while Callum is hungry for knowledge (and not necessarily power), his short story in which he finds the mirror highlights one of these things as well:

Callum’s eyes prickled with dust and tears. He rushed back to the spiral staircase—but as he reached for the figurine that would activate them, he noticed one last door he hadn’t checked. The small chamber beyond it lay dark and silent. A gleam caught his eye. Callum blinked at his own reflection. Curious, he stepped through the door—and there it was. A mirror.

With all that in mind, and I'm sure there's ones I've missed, too, why on Earth am I arguing that while curiosity may play a factor, I think it's going to be love that ultimately causes his initial downfall / playing into Aaravos' hands?

Well...

For starters, I personally find "doing terrible things for love" to be not only a primary theme of arc 2, but much more fundamentally sympathetic than just getting in over your head because you were a dumbass who couldn't read the signs. I know for myself that if Callum fucks around and accidentally gets himself into a place where (under possession at that point or not) he helps free, or just flat out helps, Aaravos knowing everything that he knows, if he does it for love I will defend his choice every step of the way. If it happens just because he wants more power or magical knowledge (hello Viren 2.0 beat for beat) I'm gonna be a lot more critical of him. After all, Claudia has done a lot of awful things but I still have sympathy for her because they were for her family, in their own fractured way, and operating out of a place of deep emotional pain. If she was doing that just because she wanted to be Powerful and Knowledgable, then no, I'm not going to be that sympathetic.

The other half of it, which you might have already guessed, is that curiosity is not a Motivation. It's a manifestation of a character's pyschological makeup. Even for a character like Viren, who very much chased power, ultimately, for the sake of power, we take time to dive into WHY he wanted those things ("To know that I mean something to you, it means everything to me" / "I dream of a bright future for humanity") and his internal justifications, no matter if some of those turned out to be lies.

Characters who are curious are curious because they want to solve puzzles and have a hard time letting things go; or else they are curious because they want to prove themselves by solving things first; or else they are curious because they deeply love and want to understand and protect the world; or else they are curious because they want to know and have access to tools so that they can fix problems; or else... Well, you get the idea.

Even if it is primarily Callum's curiosity and love/thirst for magic that gets him into trouble (and thus far it largely hasn't been, as we see in S2 with his motivation for doing dark magic — yes, there was a part of him that was undeniably curious about what it would be like, but I don't think he would've pushed himself into doing it without the dire straits of "I had to, to save my friends")... That doesn't answer why he's curious.

Either he will pull a full Greek tragedy and be so scared of freeing Aaravos he accidentally walks into it by trying to prevent it directly (and one of the main reasons he's scared of Aaravos is because he's scared he might hurt people he loves through possession) or he needs another motivation, but it can't just be "Callum really wants this [insert magical knowledge here] and it ends badly," because that offers a plot summary, not an emotional character beat. There's no motivation. They'll have to explain why he wants the magical knowledge, why he's chasing it, why this level of curiosity is something he cannot or will not put down even with all the risk factors at play. It has to be grounded in some kind of sympathetic emotion, and love or fear or a desire to be helpful/useful, or all three makes the most sense to me and with all the prior setup.

Conclusion

As a closing note, as well as thank you for reading this far if you have because this got wildly long and out of hand, I want to reiterate that in many ways, to me, Callum's devotion to his loved ones — that he says "I would do anything for you" and mean it — is indeed his saving grace and biggest difference from Viren, who would rather offer up himself or others or have Harrow die than relinquish the egg, because he would never put a weapon into Xadia's hands. Being devotional — valuing the individual — is not always a good or bad thing, nor is prioritizing the 'greater good' always a good or a bad thing. TDP is deeply interested in exploring all the different circumstances of motivation, sacrifice, and choices.

Nor is selective loyalty a bad thing. I'm not wired that way, but some of my closest loved ones are (and of those in the fandom have, overall, greatly aligned with this perceived aspect of Callum). Merely, this meta is meant to examine the claim in Tales of Xadia that "I value those close to me more than anyone or anything," why I was surprised but delighted to see my view of Callum be so directly spelled out, why I had that view and continue to have it, in addition to aspects/pieces of the text that I think support it.

I believe that Callum is loyal to Ezran and Rayla on a fundamental level he does not really extend to anyone else (including many other people who are also his family) and while this is in many ways something that creates the best sides of him — his nurturing, compassionate, thoughtful and protective traits — it is also something that can be exploitable and dangerous, particularly in a narrative where he is set up to be controlled/coerced by the big bad.

And this meta hopefully explained why.

You can take it or leave it.

—Dragons out

#snake boi callum #two pillars #tdp #tdp meta #the dragon prince #analysis series #analysis #tdp callum #callum #multi #tales of xadia #this got so long YES im mad about it #characterization

81 notes · View notes