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yulsbabymama · 4 months

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Disventure Camp Headcanons Part 1

AIDEN

Half Argentinian Half French Canadian

Had a huge TOP phase in middle school

Only child

Super good singer but hates hearing his voice

ALEC

Afro-Turkish and Japanese

Diagnosed w Autism when he was a child

Smokes

Started drinking shortly after he got married; relapsed after his separation w his ex

Has an older sister by 7 years

ALLY

Transgirl; came out to her grandfather and he was the only supporter she had

Definitely had obsessive love disorder when meeting Hunter the first time

Super fucking bad at dancing

Likes K-pop (Fromis_9, Stray Kids, Billlie, P1harmony, Enhypen, Stayc, aespa, ITZY)

ASHLEY

Country music defender

will actually die on the Country Music hill

like she's from Texas but she's FROM TEXAS ykwim

Transgirl; realized she was a girl at a young age and transitioned w a supporting family

Would probably roll her eyes at u if u assume she loved AppleJack when she was younger

I mean, she did

but not as much as ppl assume

CONNOR

Jewish

Despite having a booming business, he still doesn't understand technology

but he WAS a boss at programming his MySpace page

"programming is my passion" college dude

Nickelback liker

I'm so sorry

DAN

He and his sister shared a bedroom until she moved out

Actually convinced her to come back home bc he missed her

crying on his knees

"PLEASE COME HOME IT'S SO MISERABLE WITHOUT U THERE I MISS U"

blasting a radio to her favorite songs

did i mention he loves his sister

Pokemon kid

Oh, he's also autistic

DEREK

Half Filipino and half Columbian

Transguy; was an unhappy "girl" growing up and would refuse to listen to anyone who didn't call "her" by Derek

Facebook user

only to troll, tho

He tried trolling on Twitter too but Trevor had to pry the phone out of his hands

Secretly likes Trevor

and by secretly I mean he angry-cried while writing drafted emails of his confession

Barely cries or anything like that, emotionally, but angry-crying is his #1 basically

Is not a registered gun owner

DREW

Other than the notebook, he has a communication device

Adopted

Video games hurt his eyes

so do mobile games

Honestly i think he just needs glasses

likes dogs :)

ELLIE

Half Irish and Half Singaporean

Transgirl; came out in her last year of junior high

Middle child w two sisters

While struggling w her identity, she was a Pick Me girl to fit in #sad!

she ended up giving up on fitting in #gogirl

Malay's her first language

Mom passed when she was little

tolerates cats

FIORE

3/4th Italian 1/4th Chinese

hates horror movies

not bc she's scared of them or anything

she just thinks they suck

forced into a ton of shit to become normal

girlscouts, ballet, soccer, etc

she hated everything

but she can make a good cookie deal

GABBY

Has an unhealthy obsession w watching drag shows

she doesn't understand any of the lingo

she just thinks the outfits r pretty

LPS kid

also watches too much animal documentaries

will actually sit down and say "im bored, time to watch a 6 hour doc on cheetahs"

she just cray cray like that #loveher

unhealthy addiction to stickers

GRETT

Transgirl #slay

was a Toddlers & Tiaras kid

passenger princess

forces Yul to drive her places

they have almost broken up 5 times bc of this

she also genuinely forgot to tell him she was #trans

u should've seen the look on his face

when

yeah

#hedidnotcare

that's ooc but idc

she's bi :3

HUNTER

Half Chinese Half White

Dad left after his youngest sister was born

Lived in China until he was 8

He has autism

Christian btw

like pslam bunch-of-numbers in his bio

can quickly change languages like that

will talk to u in english then will answer his phone in cantonese

texts like a millennial

:/ sorry

smokes

the killers, staind, blink-182, and r.e.m fan

plays the guitar

JAKE

Half Korean Half Japanese

cannot speak those languages fluently, tho

sorry

he and his brother wrestled a lot

his brother would always win

anyways he was a theater kid

but quit bc of some drama

haha. get it ?

one of those gays who cries to mitski & ricky montgomery

but only listens to them when he needs to cry

which is often

JAMES

has been in cringe compilations before

imagine if i just ended this w just that hc

would that be funny

anyways

one of those middle schoolers who was violently supportive of the lgbtq+

like everyone knew he liked boys

except him

loves his younger sister

like a lot

they r bffies

will call her in the middle of the night randomly

"i just posted a new tiktok, go like it."

JENSEN

genuinely have nothing for him

can i just say he's dreamed of men shirtless before and end it at that

um so yeah

#disventure camp

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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My mom doesn’t believe I used to get absence seizures, and said blackouts were a normal thing kids do when I learned about them, because I had also assumed it was a normal thing people grew out of, but everyone I talked to about it said it no it wasn’t. So now I have to wonder if she had them too, or if she’s just ignoring my explanation like she does with half the things I say. And since there’s so little research on what causes absence seizures besides epilepsy, I can’t assume it’s genetic.

And that all sucks, but my point is, Donnie is aware autism’s a thing he probably has right? So I’m going to assume he knows what stimming is. Would he have ever tried to explain that stuff to Splinter when he got annoyed at him or Mikey about it?

wow ur mom is shit.

Donnie prolly figures he's autistic at some point but idk when. (he's probably embarrassed about it tho since Splinter is ableist so he might not tell the others until the farm house. he might tell Mikey before then but idk if he'd have the heart to try to convince Raph and he DEFINITELY wouldnt wanna tell Leo)

Donnie might have tried to bring it up once or twice, but Splinter is one of those people who are like "no you can't be autistic I know what autistic people look like (as in: autistic people with intellectual disabilities/otherwise visibly disabled) and you don't look like them"

if he's pushed on it he might start ranting about why his kids "want to be *R slur* so bad" or something. and how they arent autistic they're just sensitive and need to get over it.

#nnstuff #ask #ableism tw #tmnt splinter #teenage mutant neglected turtles #child abuse tw #farmhouse arc

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daiza-syntanium · 3 months

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REMADE INTRO POST !!!

FIRST OF ALL |

------ Hi!!! I am a non-human protector alter in a traumagen system of 7

^ We are currently well under psychiatric care

The entirety of the system is autistic, including myself... Please be aware of that when interacting!

trying to recreate the blog how I remember it...!

My name is Prototype however, you can call me Axel or Yoshi too...[HE/HIM or anything if you must]! I am an adult in the headspace :pensive: however the body is 16 and so is the host so please do NOT be weird even though no one else is aware of this blog!!! I am not interested in any conversation of this esque myself...

I LOVE RHYTHM GAMES AND MUSIC!!!!! LOTS OF GUITAR AND DJ REBLOGGING!!!! DIE HARD SKILLET AND STARSET FAN!!! Rock and metal are generally my type of stuff... I also like a good hardstyle and eurobeat!!! Professional emo kid :thumbs_up: I play games such as | Half Life Splatoon Muse dash or any rhythm game in my reach Anything that is available

I also draw sometimes... I try to practice everytime I front... :>

DNI IF |

⇝ ENDOGENIC... ANYTHING OF THAT TYPE PLEASE - host doesn't want to have anything to do with you people and neither do I.... ▸ this goes for being endo neutral and safe too ▸ or use pluralpedia as your source of info... go read DSM 5 or ICDs ⇝ ACTIVELY PARTICIPATES IN R/SYSTEMCRINGE OR R/FDC go.... just go away... I can smell your stench through the screen.

⇝ You're mean just for the fun of it ... ▸ Looks at majority of TikTok users...

⇝ Think fictives are their source/think of them as just comfort characters, villanize persecutors, purposely try to trigger alters, anything of this type...

⇝ SH/ED/PROBLEMATIC BLOGS please go elsewhere

BFYI |

I DO NOT. INTERACT OR PARTICIPATE IN LGBTQ DISCOURSE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! I DON'T CARE FOR INTERNET DRAMA!!! i am not caught up on that either. do not try to inform me on anything like this either, I DO NOT TRUST ONESELF WITH THIS, i'd rather research the topic myself...

I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU'RE ON DNI!!!

Concerning blogs will be tagged and described with appropriate triggers I WILL BE SHARING MY EXPERIENCES AS AN ALTER!!!

#intro #intro post #system #did system #actually autistic #actually did #traumagenic #plural #alter intro #did alter #sysblr #system stuff #endos dni

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liennalei · 2 years

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What ruins the RTC revival

So i’ve been brainrotting over RTC these last weeks and. watched both bootlegs. while the original holds a dear place in my heart, the revival simply isnt as good. So Im going to rewatch it and write down the reasons why.

DISCLAIMER: LONG POST

AN: please watch the show before reading this. it wont make sense otherwise.

Also. R! is used to talk about the revival character. Likewise, O! is used to talk about the original character. Cause holy shit they are completely different characters.

1. Humanoid Karnak. i refuse to elaborate.

2. “Virgil shall play— the bass”. I loved that delivery, and now it’s gone

3. When explaining the rules about the armrest, Karnak goes a bit too fast, which ruins the comedy for me

4. “I assure you, none of the calls you are about to receive will have life altering consequences (pause. looks down) except for one of you”. THE PAUSE IS GONE. THE PAUSE WAS WHAT MADE IT FUNNY.

5. THE CHOIR FACES THE PUBLIC.

I will elaborate. In the original version, the choir is on the other side of the stage, facing backwards, and only face the public when dead. This helps establish that the stage is the afterlife. THIS VERSION DOESNT DO THAT.

6. R!Mischa looks old. The entire cast looks old, but R!Mischa looks like a 40 year old. Thats a grown ass man sir.

7. No Penny foreshadowing in the newspaper.

8. The segment of "something doesnt feel quite right–" is gone. I loved that segment. I feel its fundamental to introducing us to the characters.

9. No friendly banter between Ocean and Noel during the song :(

10. RICKY ISNT SUPPOSED TO SING YET. Even if hes already dead, the others arent supposed to know he can already talk.

11. On the subject of R!Ricky. The crutches are gone. What the fuck. I know why but i hate why.

12. R!Ocean is the one asking "where are we?". And its not scared, its not confused, its just... a question. O!Constance's delivery is far better.

13.

DEMOCRACY ROCKS!

I hate this delivery. R!Ocean's "Democracy rocks!" was perfect: preppy, upbeat... this singy-songy democracy rocks sucks. O!Ocean wouldve never.

14. I hate R!Ocean. I refuse to elaborate.

Sike! I will. She's doesnt look the "overachiever golden girl" part. I dont mean her looks, i mean her attitude– she seems normal. She seems like a normal girl, shes not even half as annoying! Thats what made O!Ocean great– her being annoying yet lovable!

15. Mischa doesnt grab his crotch :(

Okay i must elaborate. The crotch grabbing may seem weird but its part of the gangsta persona. The psoture this Mischa adopts is simply... not it.

16. That was emasculating...

After the "i am naked child in the wilderness" introduction, O!Mischa says "that was whack". Not emasculating. Hes surprised that hes said that, but he doesnt say that it doesnt represent him. He knows he is vulnerable, and he embraces it. R!Mischa seems embarrassed of this side of him. WHICH IS NOT MY DEAR MISCHA.

17. Instead of giving the discourse, Ricky simply says "Level up". There is no character.

18. On the topic. The choir realises he can speak only now. There is no "The twilight zone" moment, no "It certainly appears that way. Badass" moment. Fuck this.

Sidenote: we're at the 13 min mark

19. R!Jane Doe is less autistic coded. Shes just creepy. Inherently bad.

20. "Playing games where people"s lives are on the table is

Super illegal"

This delivery makes no sense. Why would she say it like that. Why would she move her hips alongside that line.

21. This monologue's delivery is shit. It reads like a comedic monologue, and not a "debate team" monologue.

22. The improv thing. Why would you add that. I mean i know why but why.

23. "IT TAKES TWO WINGS TO FLY–" R!Ocean is a theatre kid in the bad way. O!Ocean was a debate team kid. O!Ocean was better and more in line with the character

24. Instead of singing the "Oh nooOOOooO" she says "Nope. Nope." Why. Oh, I know why!

25. This Ocean can't sing. Im sorry. No offence, but this actress isn't fit for this role. Her voice doesnt adjust to Ocean's registry.

26. Instead of the euphoric "WHAT A RUSH" we get a full of soberbia "What a rush~". R!Ocean is meaner.

I have to note R!Constance is one of the few good things in here. Her delivery is great and her dialogue is good.

27. "And then i got to get on that ride. Thanks" got replaced with a line that makes Ricky seem like an incel

Okay i know that ricky IS horny but hes NOT an incel. "No one wants to make out with the tambourine guy". O!Ricky wouldnt complain about that. He complained about riding the cyclone and DYING.

28. Instead of trying to get a hug, Jane tries to offer up her doll. I just loved that part :( it gives her character.

R!Noel is also good. Not as good as O!Noel, but good. The nativity scene is awkward, but it fits. So im not counting that.

And the transition from Noel to Monique is amazing.

29. But, as much as I like this Noel's acting... the singing is mediocre. It sounds like a karaoke performance. It looks like a karaoke performance. It feels like a karaoke performance.

Its been half an hour. I need help.

31. The dance during "THAT FUCKED UP GIIIIIIIIIIRL" changes and its worse.

32. Again, I hate R!Ocean

33. Every Story's Got a Lesson. Again, she cant sing.

34. The porno bit is gone. It gave Ricky some depth.

35. The Saw V bit is gone too. It was so funny :(

36. The improv thing..... sucks. Constance lets to, and she is supposed to be the restrained girl until her song. It breaks the character. It ruins the surprise.

37. The transition to Mischa's turn is rough as fuck

38. Mischa's backstory here makes him seem like an asshole. The original was this sad story, this one is just angry. Its reductive.

39. He says "Mostly positive feedback" as a bad thing, says it /neg. Doubting. O!Mischa was amazed, loving, said it /pos.

40. It was HILARIOUS when he said "Good for hot dog (raises index, as in "1"), but not so good for Ukraine (raises middle finger too, as in "2") so THANK YOU FOR KILLING MY MOTHER (leaves middle finger up)". GUESS WHAT. THATS GONE AS WELL.

41. The pause before "Autotune will never die" is gone too

42. To put it simply, R!Mischa didnt slay. O!Mischa slayed.

43. Why does Ricky have a box in his head. What the fuck. I know why but why.

44. It takes too fucking long for Mischa to get his. Uh. Thingy around the waist (fajín in spanish).

45. The Talia projection on the sheet/skirts is bad. Im sorry. Its just bad. Not as creative, not as perfectly-timed...

46. I miss the bit where Talia appears in Mischa's chest. As if it were his heart. It was so emotional yo

47. The dubstep part is not as good. I loved the circle with the fortnite dance.

48. Mischa is off tune by the end of the song

49. THE PART WHERE OCEAN IS SPED UP IS GONE.

50. The transition to Ricky is shit. Its just "yo why dont you go next"

51. R!Ricky not smooth. Ocean is weak to her knees for no reason.

52. The backstory changes for no reason???? Hes not disabled he just wont speak????? There truly was no need.

I'll admit it: this man Can Dance

53. UNDERWEAR JUMPSCARE. WHAT THE FUCK.

54. R!Ricky is less autistic coded. Hes just WEIRD. Inherently bad.

55. The space jesus line is delivered badly

56. R!Jane Doe doesnt fly.

Thats my only complaint, and its justifiable. R!Jane Doe is one of the few things done right here.

57. The New Birthday Song is less awkward in the beginning. Less like theyre making it up on the spot and more like they all knew it already.

58. I just realised the bit of LOVE CONQUERS ALL IS GONE.

59. Retroactively, NO PART OF "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT WOULDVE HAPPENED IF TALIA AND MISCHA HAD MET?" . That was so poetic,,,,,, and now its gone,,,,,,

60. Ocean's breakdown isnt much of a breakdown.

R!Constance. Wow. I love her. She is the only other good thing in here.

61. I HATE R!Ocean

62. R!Ocean doesnt elaborate on why it shouldnt be her. She isnt self aware as the original.

63. The final montage doesnt show us her entire life. Sure, it shows her POV, but theres no old Penny.

64. Karnak breaks and talks normally afterwards.

65. They dont smile profoundly as they disappear. Thats the saddest change.

My final thoughts

It is a great show. This is not a decent show. Most of the songs sound off, except for Sugar Cloud and The Ballad of Jane Doe, and the acting is mediocre at best.

Maybe it’s not as bad. Maybe the original is so good that it simply can’t measure up to it.

Heck, maybe i’m conditioned after having watched it thousands of times. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin: perhaps, had i not loved the original so much, i wouldn’t have hated this rendition as profusely.

Regardless, I did not like the Blue Bridge version.

Your lucky number is 7. Be sure to Ride the Cyclone.

#rtc #ride the cyclone #karnak #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #mischa bachinski #noel gruber #ricky potts #rant #Im sorry for the long post but i simply love this show too much #rtc fans you shall be fed today

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boypussydilf · 1 year

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BMT (bacon mettuce tomato) from that ask game forrrrrr..... persona AND sgt frog. double whammy

BACON METTUCE TOMATO

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

in persona … i would most likely never have thought of sumitaba in my life if not for the fandom. they r just neat. uhhhhhh. lets see surely theres some pair of sgt frog characters i never wouldve considered interacting or smth if not for some external influence. Most notably kurudoro i probably wouldnt habe really thought about them if not for the fandom either but its hard to remember, but let’s also give a shout out to some pairs ive seen interacting One Time- i THINK i saw one (1) piece of ship fanart of bariri and keroro? if im remembering correctly? And also hark ! to the fanart of dororo and putata interacting. iirc. rich kid swag

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

EVERY character I LOVE friendship 😌😊☺️🍃🌱💅❤️😌🤭🍀🌸⭐️🌈✨😚 ok im done now. Anyway for real though I would like to be friends with all of the phantom thieves we would be besties . but i wanna hang out w yusuke and futaba especially. but like, separately. the violence when they are combined is funny but would be too intense for me. Also, Eikichi Persona 2. And maybe Maya Persona 2 we wouldn’t necessarily be close friends but she’s nice.

if dororo n koyuki were real we would be best friends “u n dororo n koyuki or me n u” yes. i would enjoy hanging out with fuyuki as well.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Ok well first of all lists of immutable autistic & trans headcanons as long as my arm for both series, but we already know that very well. Other than that uh ….. really die hard thoughts …. akira & futaba are siblings its simply a fact. also that fanart where sumi runs into akechi post p5r and shes the only one who knows hes alive for a while and its kinda just Them is like 85% canon in my brain. Also there is no world post-p5 where akira doesn’t become like… protests georg. if you have an Adult Akira Kurusu concept and hes anything other than not only willing to punch dudes in the face to try and get things to change but actually Actively Doing the closest things to that he can manage: you are just wrong.

sgt frog headcanons that r Just Canon to me …….. Aside frm the list of whos autistic keroro Super Has ADHD but that really kind of is just canon. not on purpose but no one in the history of mankind has adhd coded a frog harder than this. There’s not much else I can think of this is the worst thing to ever happen to me 😔 I could reiterate my trans headcanons in great detail but we’d be here all night and the Sgt Frog 10 Years Later au in my brain is still only half-formed (its my job, my DUTY, with everything i like to imagine what the characters are like a while post-canon, especially if theres kids who can grow up or other clear room for further life development, but also there’s a lot of factors to consider to figure details out.) So I’m just gonna end by talking about Kururu’s older siblings because we as a people need to talk more about them. I think that personality wise they’re both like. somewhere in between kururu and saburo. They like to Cause Problems On Purpose more than saburo who mostly just Doesn’t Prevent problems but not as much as kururu whod probably blow up a galaxy if it was funny enough, but they’re also like, Outwardly Nice, less like kururu and more like saburo. Theyre sooo good at acting friendly and sweet and normal that you can miss how extremely petty and selfish they’re being and all the problems they are causing. This is just based on 1 clip in the anime where shipepe sends keroro a card for new years or something like that? and part of it goes kinda like “Just a funny thing…. you know what that happens to remind me of? That time I bought you ramen in elementary school…. I still remember exactly how much money you owe me <3” anyway tbats what they’re like to me.

#hehe thx <3 #basilask #p5r #< spoiler tag for th 1 mention of akechi being alive post royal LOL #beneath the mask #keron wa uchuu ichi… tabun #i expressed thoughts.

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lololollywrites · 1 year

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So I’m honestly looking for help or advice here. I’ve gone my entire life believing that I’m neurotypical, despite never quite feeling like anyone else or fitting in. I just always thought I was... I don’t know. Quirky, weird. It’s mostly been internalized. I doubt my family would agree, for example, despite any one of them being the first to say that I’m a loner with special interests (they don’t know the half of it - not about tumblr or fanfiction, for example) who has carved out my own little niche of the world in which I can feel most comfortable (academia and travel, amongst other things). “Oh, Lauren’s the smart one who corrects our grammar and doesn’t want a typical life and doesn’t notice when men hit on her and can talk for hours about anything and remembers every detail of her childhood! She was reading novels at 6 years old, isn’t that funny?!”

But recently I’ve come across online content about ASD in adult women and how it looks different than we have long been told (and therefore how it gets overlooked and undiagnosed) and, well. It’s been resonating with me. Hard. I’m not necessarily struggling with life, but I’m also lacking a long-term relationship, a core friend group (it’s hard to fully connect with people or reveal my full personality, though part of that is also because I move a lot), and am finding myself more and more alone. Which is okay for the most part. It is. Honestly, the idea of sharing my apartment and giving up decision-making autonomy and even decorative control stresses me out. I’ve tried to work on myself by expanding my comfort zone - I’ve worked at it my entire life, which is why I traveled - but also... what if I could understand myself better? What if there’s more to it? (I did discover that there might be more but it got long, so... sorry in advance. But if you can relate, I would LOVE it if you did read and could help me!)

I just took the RAADS-R assessment (a bit frustrating, as many of my answers would generally depend on the situation and there was no option for that); I tried my best to be conservative and practical with my selections. I still scored a 104. Scores range from 0-227, and a score of 65 is when ASD is considered (and even likely), though obviously one online test is not enough for a diagnosis. Non-autistic people can score as high as 90, apparently (and autistic people can score as low as 44), so 104 is not conclusive, but it’s made me think.

It’s sort of a relief in a way, but it’s also something I don’t think my family would ever be on board with or understand since I’m the “normal”, stable, level-headed, successful one. Which obviously doesn’t preclude autism (honestly many of these traits have helped me tremendously), but there are so many misconceptions out there. And they love me and mean well, but I know they’d also ask why it matters, since I’m 33 years old and have done fine until now. But they don’t know what it feels like to scratch at your skin and never truly feel like you’ve figured yourself out. Why you’re different and why nothing has ever made sense. Why other people are so infuriating.

My traits? Well, they don’t all fit. Or at least I didn’t think so until I started typing them out.

I am easily overwhelmed by social situations (I can’t stand nightclubs and had an anxiety attack before I first went out in college), but I’ve gotten better. I’ve practiced. Interrupting can be a problem for me because I get excited when people say things that interest me. I don’t find sarcasm or jokes or social cues difficult to understand, but I’ve also... practiced. I’m very, very aware of what I say, how I act, and how others perceive me, though this has become more natural with age. I was always so gullible as a kid that it was a joke in my family. I’m compassionate and empathetic to a fault; I believe the best in people, which has hurt me. Textures and noises don’t particularly bother or overwhelm me, but I did once burst into tears in a Shanghai bar because it was too much. Just... too much. I never once believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy and grilled my parents with very specific questions regarding why I should be expected to (though only when my little sister wasn’t around). Despite this, between the ages of 5-7, I slept at the very edge of my pillow so as so leave plenty of room for my parents to take my tooth in the middle of the night and not accidentally wake me, as I knew it would be embarrassing for them and potentially also wake up my sister.

I once slept in an inflatable raft for an entire summer as a kid because I felt like it was a safe cradle. I used to be such a perfectionist that my parents considered homeschooling me. I got in trouble for reading too quickly because teachers thought it was impossible to complete the assignments at the rate I did. I always completed all the group work at school - not because my group mates took advantage of me (though there was a little of that), but because I couldn’t stand what they turned in to me and wanted to do it myself. Travel was my way of proving to myself that I didn’t need the same daily routine; I learned to create my safe space wherever I was in the world. I didn’t want my worries and anxiety to limit my experiences, so I didn’t let it. Then travel just became a new part of my comfort zone. I would self-soothe and reassure myself it would be okay by imagining my new safe space, which would always involve my computer, my Kindle, an internet connection, and being alone. With those things, I’d be okay.

I used to talk so fast as a kid that my mom joked I should be the person who spoke at the end of radio commercials (when they share all the legal disclaimers at high speed). I’ve practiced that too and gotten better, but I always need to be aware of my rate of speech. I went into teaching to sort of... practice public speaking, eye contact, and increasing my confidence (as well as to try to build that natural cadence). And it’s helped. This has always led me to the assumption that yes, see, I’m neurotypical. Everyone has these thoughts and foibles. When I discovered fanfiction in high school I told everyone about it, mind-blown at how miraculous it was, before I realized that people were looking at me funny and thought I was weird. So I stopped. And then discovered online communities.

Even as a 24 year-old, on a Fulbright orientation in an Indonesian hotel, sitting in a circle on the floor in a group of 30 fellow Fulbrighters about to embark on a year-long placement around the country, I apparently talked too much. I had no idea. I was two-months fresh off a year in China and we were participating in ice breakers, sharing advice and travel stories, and I thought I was being helpful. I felt free - finally I was in a community of fellow travelers, and I guess I let my guard down. My family couldn’t relate to all of my China stories and eventually got bored, and I was still processing my experience. I thought that these fellow travelers cared what I had to say. That it was safe. One of the girls I liked (and we did later become friends when she apologized months later) came up to me after one of these sessions and said “As much as I like your stories, Lauren, don’t you think you talked too much?” I was mortified. I totally shut down. I felt pushed to the side in that group - my only real friends, looking back, were the few other loners, including one girl who openly discussed her ASD. We were in contact for years after that and we naturally understood each other. She asked me to talk *more* about China with genuine interest. Maybe that says something.

Anyway. I’m having a bit of an emotional moment right now. I guess this could all be nothing. Or something. I know maybe I should pursue an official diagnosis, but I don’t know if that’s worth it or not. I trust people here. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Or have you self-diagnosed at any point? Does the truth of that label impact your life, and in what ways? Thank you. And sorry for the very, very long ramble. (And that’s something I’ve become accustomed to doing - apologizing!) And I truly hope I haven’t offended anyone or made it seem as though I’m acting like this is a confirmed diagnosis. That’s not it at all - I am very unsure. I just truly would appreciate some guidance. ❤️

#this seems so personal but i'm not sure what else to do #this has been eating at me for weeks now #asd #autism

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astramthetaprime · 2 years

Text

A is for Anxiety

Until recently, I spent roughly 25 years on various forms of anti-depressant or lately anti-anxiety medications.

A problem inherent in being biologically female and Autistic is that one is almost never diagnosed correctly until much later in life. Briefly, this is due to the vast majority of Autism research having been conducted only with data gathered from males, primarily young boys. This led (incorrectly) to the conclusion that Only Boys Can Have Autism. This has also led (infuriatingly) to girls with Autism being misdiagnosed sometimes multiple times over the course of their lives with depression, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, etc. Unless a little girl was overwhelmingly obviously autistic, they were never diagnosed as such. Because Only Boys Can Have Autism. Only recently have women begun to be recognized as Autistic. I am part of that cohort.

Anxiety is most definitely part of Autism, or rather a product of it. I wouldn’t say a symptom, truly more of a product. Try going through your life constantly befuddled by the world around you and tell me you don’t have anxiety. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Anyway. So yeah, I was on anti-anxiety meds. Until my doctor neglected to renew the prescription. Despite 2 calls to the doctor by my pharmacist. So suddenly I’m going cold turkey from a med I’ve been on for the last 10 years.

But I’m no stranger to such situations, unfortunately. In my 20s I got dumped from my state’s TennCare program without warning while I was on 80mg Paxil. The highest single-pill dosage they make. I had half a month’s worth left. I started cutting them in half immediately to try to ramp down as much as I could, but after they were gone it was cold turkey. If you’ve never been on anti-depressants, they tell you they’re not addictive. The hell they aren’t. They’re physically addictive. I spent about 6 weeks with my head spinning like a top. It got so bad that I couldn’t sit in a chair without arms because I would literally lose my balance and fall out of the chair. But then I found the best thing -- Dramamine will stop the spinny head. Not kidding. Good old fashioned Dramamine. Holy crap suddenly I could make it through work without vomiting in the parking lot. So I stocked up on that and soldiered on. After I put myself on St. John’s Wort -- highly recommended, at least by me -- and was all right with the world for nigh on 20 years or so, until I got on the anti-anxiety meds. The two are not good together. Don’t do it. SSRIs and MAOIs do not mix, kids. DON’T DO IT.

Anyway, again. I’m trying to get to the point here. So yeah, the withdrawal from the much lower dosage of anti-anxiety meds went comparatively smoothly, and I’ve been off completely for several weeks now. I want to know what kind of baseline I’m working with nowadays. I’ve been on meds for so long that I honestly don’t know who I am underneath it. So I’m ... okay with it. Being off the drugs. I want -- I need -- to know how Autistic I am underneath it all. Who is the unvarnished, unadulterated Aunty Proton? I can’t know what I need to look out for with drug-biased data.

Pursuant to this, I’ve begun keeping an Anxiety List. When I get to bugging, I fire up my Google Keep app and write that sucker down. How is this useful? A common pitfall of Autism is meltdowns, where a person becomes overwhelmed by stresses or environmental conditions to the point that they just snap. It may be due to sensory sensitivities, it may be due to an overwhelming load of demands, it may be due to social conditions -- everybody is different in their triggers. It’s usually a situation of things building up until a final trigger just is too much. So by keeping track of things that I sense are stressing me out, I hope to determine what kind of things in general could set me off. I’m trying to adult here. To be my own therapist. Because I ain’t got the money to afford all my bills right now much less therapy.

That’s a rant for another time though. HOWEVER. Thanks to a wonderful resource there is some hope in that regard. If you’re Autistic and can handle working for a living but have trouble finding a job that you can do, well, I’m going to try Mentra at mentra.me. The wonderful resource that made me aware of Mentra is known as neurodivergent_insights on Instagram. Dr. Megan Neff. SHE’S THE BEST PERSON EVER. Please give her a follow if you haven’t, she’s honestly taught me so much about this crazy called Autism and made me suspect I may also be ADHD.

So hoping Mentra can help me. I haven’t signed up yet, planning on that starting today after I’m done with this post. I will let you all know.

Take care of yourselves, people, because once you hit 18 no one is going to take care of you but yourself. Word.

#actuallyautistic #anxiety #googlekeepisthebestkeep #autism

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hotelbellamuert3 · 3 years

Text

KJ HCS!!!

Party Poison

steals kobras e v e r y t h i n g

dyes his hair the bright red because all the stress eventually caused a gray streak

freckles!!

absolutely horrendous tanlines

super protective ‼️

trans!! non binary, he/they pronouns

^^mtnb

stick and pokes everywhere istg

and a big back piece

let each of the other three do small stick and pokes

ghouls was a cartoon ghost with a gun

kobras was a heart that says something stupid, probably along the lines of "deez nuts"

jet's was "dumbass" and an arrow pointing to party's face near their collarbone

bisexual

kidnapped from bat city with kobra at a young age

^ dr d baby

comes up with random ass kj slang

MASSIVE brittney spears stan

"dating" ghoul, but he proposed with a ring pop

flinches when people raise their voice sometimes l a u g h o u t l o u d

undercut!!!

v scared of blood

scars all over

either super stingy with carbons or super compulsive

does piercings on himself (septum, eyebrow, bridge, tongue)

Fun Ghoul

real bad scars

burned half his eyebrow off in a firefight

makes bombs and explosives scary well

transmasc

not a super big fan of his long hair

sHIT ton of ear piercings

ADHD mfer!!

puts random shit he finds on his jacket

bottle caps, shoelaces, etc

ran away from bat city

it was just kobra and jet when ghoul got there

lets pois doodle on his neck

loves the idea of tattoos

has more stick and pokes than party

around 16-17, he doesn't remember

super reckless

used to bind really unsafely, so now he can't run long distance

the worst (best) sense of humor

prefers bombs to firefights and close combat

really bad nightmares

when it gets too bad, he'll sit on the diners roof and look at the stars

bad temper

^^ can and will yell at you

sUCKS at math and calculations, everything is just by ear

likes lining random shit up

he knocks it down right after tho

stims so hard

good ass medic!! helps jet out sometimes

ties his hair up when he's working <3

would look good as hELL in snakebites

Kobra Kid

bleaches his hair every two weeks

he's impatient ^

will fight a bitch

actually he'll fight just about anyone

his hands get shaky a lot

ASD

anxious as hell

genderqueer

very gay! men <3 women <3 nb people <3

will faint at the sight of blood, and does, often

LOVES driving the trans am

hates needles

lets jet do his hair

poisons brother (venom bros 😎🤙)

the most protective mf

special interests are karate and cars

may be kinda sorta dating cherri, it's complicated

takes risks a bit too easily sometimes

it really worries the other 3

let pois dye his hair red after losing a bet

hates shooting the ray guns

pranks people a lot

when the fab 4 are at dr d's, he'll steal the radio and sing (horribly) to annoy people

don't tell party, but he's a guilty britney spears enjoyer

Jet Star

hella good medic

lost his vision not to a ray gun shot, but blinded by a super bright ray

^ the blind eye scared the girl, hence, eyepatch

genderfluid

queer asf, but not a big fan of labels

actually not the most protective of the 4

the BEST shot of the 4

can eat power pup with a straight face

which scares the shit out of kobra

really touchy or an aversion to touch

also autistic!

unlike kobra, he doesn't know

kicks ASS in hand to hand combat

SUUUPER strong

like my guy is buff

zone born, and stayed with the same crew for ages

they got gunned down, and Jet lost his finger

stole the helmet off of one of the crew members after the dracs left

he likes looking at the stars and just thinking

he'll do it for hours if he gets lost in thought

his hair gets hella tangled, and it takes all 3 of the others to help fix it

blew all his carbons as a kid on the jacket

he painted it though

fascinated by lizards and cacti

pranks people with kobra

bright bright green eyes

hangs out with the girl a lot

they're best friends, but he's like a father to her

less rebellious, more of a survivalist

#ignore how long this shit is #danger days #danger days hc #killjoy hc #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #mcr #gerard way #party poison #fun ghoul #jet #jet star #kobra kid #cherri cola #doctor death defying #my chemical romance #national anthem #this is so gay

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girlnikolai · 2 years

Text

Judging you for your bsd kins except im a fucking cunt about it also im not including images because im in chemistry fuck yourself if that bugs you

if you point out the fact that these get longer as they go on then die pls <3

Dazai

Well arent you Unique. not like 90% of the fandom kins him or anything, cant say i dont kin him myself of course but i dont Kin Him i just kin him seriously tho if dazai is your top bsd kin stay 500 feet away from me and maybe take a bath while youre at it. your sense of humor is probably just uncensored depraved sexual posting and its fucking annoying shut up please. hardcore dazai kinnies suck so so bad but god damn you are all so annoying and i want to fuck you so bad (derogatory) i can make u worse babygirl please dm me. you need psychological help and not in a omg ur brocken way.... in a you should be lobotomized and pushed off a bridge way (affectionate)

Atsushi

do. do atsushi kinnies exist i thought that was just another word for furry. idk ill try my best um embracing my inner akutagawa kinnie pls kill yourself and kiss me on the lips. man seriously tho i didnt know atsushi kinnies were real are they just akutagawa kinnies in anger management. idk um. whore. bet u have an awful haircut. is that why you kin him fucko did you see the gay little tiger and his awful haircut and go hes just like me fr fr. is this your truth. your backstory. bitch.

Akutagawa

starting this off by saying if u kin him and ur ablebodied u should die. i dont think his disability is that relevent to his Angst but i love to be a hater. if u are disabled then cmere baby lets kiss im self loathing too hows ur relationship with ur dad. i bet ur bangs r why he left u. yeah i said it fuck you and your bangs. self callout i havent cut my bangs in 288485 years but its fine. i think we dont talk about the fact that akutagawa is canonically hot. as an akutagawa kinnie im allowed to say all akutagawa kinnies are hot unless ur one of the following. 1. ablebodied 2. have never lived in poverty 3. cis 4. idk fuckin. from michigan my akutagawa headcanon is that he hates michigan fuck yourself if ur from michigan

Ranpo

ranpo kinnies are such a mixed bag bc half of them are actually cool people who are probably autistic and the other half are the kids who thought they could genuinely solve the kira case. if u interpretat his lore as oh hes gifted kid burnout i think u need to sit down and tell me one time when hes burned out ever except the one part with mushitarou (is that how u spell his name idk hes ugly (affectionate)) yes honey i understand that youre too smart for this world and above everything but please go to bed you have school in the morning. if youve ever made an edit of ranpo to one of those like. little miss perfect type songs or averager or something please stay the fuck away from me. those songs fuck but god u are annoying

Yosano

ok real talk what is her backstory not even in a pretentious oh the writing is bad way i mean it in a i cant fucking read this is a cry for help someone please explain it to me. ok onto making fun of you. sterotyping is bad but also literally no yosano kinnie ive ever seen hasnt been nmlnm (non man loving non man) like this isnt even me being like haha ur a lesbian this is just a fact you like women dont you. seriously tho what is there to say about yosano i dont think i can comment on this shes property of the gays im sorry live laugh yosano ig

Chuuya

just spilled energy drink in my tits anyways if you were one of those kids slash still are one of those people whos like omg im so short and chaotic im a smol angry bean ill take ur knees out than im revoking your chuuya kin card 'oh but lucien you cant-' dont care didnt ask plus you only care about chuuya in the context of dazai. if you havent read stormbringer and u kin him shut up the adults are talking. i technically havent read stormbringer but my babygirl @chaotictransmess mansplained it to me so im infinitely hotter than all of you. please god please dm me if u kin chuuya and arent fucking annoying my legs are spread please baby

Fyodor

oh so ur a dazai kinnie (individuality complex edition) and youve read edgar allen poe wow.....ur one of those people who shits on others for saying crime and punishment is too long. NO ONE CARES THAT YOU READ THE WHOLE THING ITS LONG AND BORING AND YOURE A VIRGIN KAY WHY ESS SWEATY. this isnt directed at my beloved rowan ofc you can do no wrong /p fyodor kinnies are an unholy intersection between the worst dazai kinnies and the worst ranpo kinnies please shut up no one cares how fucked up you think the world is you live in suburbia shut up shut up shut up shut up. you absolutely used to lie on the internet to say you were french or russian or something in like 7th grade.

Nikolai

do you actually kin him or are you an XD crackhead. you probably go oh yeah my music taste is pretty wild and then its willwood and the cats the musical soundtrack. if youre an actual nikolai kinnie and not just an edgy 14 year old please stay away from me. not in a oh em gee ur so twisted way no u probably just smell bad and dress ugly and i dont want to be seen with u. you probably jokingly hit on your friends and jokingly make fun of them and no one finds it funny. dont worry babygirl i'll appreciate you like they never could please give me a chance. nikolai kinnies are hot as fuck until they arent. not saying anything else nice bc any validation you fucks get goes straight to your cock.

Kouyou

...mommy? 🥺

Poe

do you kin poe or do you wanna fuck ranpo so bad but you have too much internalized cringe to read x reader fics. ive said this 7 times but jesus fuck bsd fans shower challenge. you were one of those kids who got mad into those like. talking animals series but not like warriors and animorphs kids no im talking guardians of ga hoole. you wanna write so bad but anytime you fuck up you cry and bash your head against the wall and listen to mitski again i am sneaking dog anxiety meds into a hot dog for you. i cant even be mean on this one yall r like dying puppies who live in allies jesus yall bum me the fuck out

Kyouka

i havent seen anyone else kin kyouka so im doing this for myself ig. suprisingly enough despite being a massive cunt i kin the uwu smol bean of the fandom. kyouka isnt a smol bean ofc bsd fans just cant read i think. guys shes murdered people all she did was cry about it a few time guys pls shes not ur poor meow meow shes a traumatized child

Kunikida

the token Bsd Fan That Showers. guys pls kunikida kinnies this is a cry for help no one here has even read the light novels Heple. seriously tho i cant think of anything mean to say about kunikida kinnies. not like any of you would admit to kinning him publicly bc u think kinning is below you. ik being like omg ur 'insert sex thing' is cringe however no kunikida kinnies fuck its part of the job description please get laid

final thoughts

ok so basically like. 1. tell me if u want me to make fun of any other kinnies 2. yada yada yada this is all in good fun i didnt mean any of this pls dont spam report me badly dressed 15 year olds of tumblr 🥺🥺🥺 3. before one of you failed abortions decides to come in my notes like 'oh man does making fun of people make u feel better about yourself. we're just having fun ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️' the answer is yes it does make me feel better about myself i am a hater first and a person second and also i dont care if ur just having fun guess what fuckwad im having fun too now shut up <3

ok but in all seriousness i dont give a fuck who you kin and why and you shouldnt care about my opinions i want to fuck monty gator from fnaf and i kin the little gay elf wizard from the adventure zone and one time i ate gum off the floor cringe culture is dead girl if wearing an ugly trenchcoat and a amazon body harness over a death note t shirt makes u happy go do it. but in a genuine note a word to the bsd fandom PLEASE LEARN READING COMPREHENSION JESUS FUCK FOR A FANDOM REVOLVING AROUND A SERIES ABOUT DEAD AUTHORS YOU GUYS LITERALLY CANT READ ANYTHING EVER SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP anyways xoxo girlie pls like and subscribe like i said give me requests for other bsd characters making fun of people is my passion

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littlebabytimmybird · 3 years

Conversation

Tim Drake

Physical: I say this with love but he is one of those awkward teens who's faces look like they're ten but their limbs are like limp spaghetti noodles. Has an ongoing zit on his chin that ligit no-one notices but he's convinced it's the size of Kentucky. His eyes are big and puppy-dog looking, and when he's focused they get really wide and his button nose scrunches up. His eyes are really light blue, to the point where if the light hits them they look purple. His skin is pale and burns easily, but instead of looking supernatural it just looks weird since he has dry skin half the time. He is 5'1 for most of his teens, only getting a growth spurt when he hits 17 that leaves him at 5'5. His hair is pin straight but thick enough to tangle. He barely uses gel for his civilian identity, but drowns himself in it for Robin, making it into spikes. He's trying to make himself more intimidating, but he's instead he looks like Sharkboy from Sharkboy and Lavagirl. When he was 15 someone asked if he was in middle school yet and he just nodded blankly.

Mental: Tim Drake was the first character I have ever headcannoned as autistic. He was a weird little kid, but people just thought he was being stuck up and a know it all. When he was in third grade he had a sensory overload in the middle of class, and the counselor suggested he get tested for Aspergers (bc at that time that was what they would have called it) Janet was all for it, but Jack refused, saying that Tim was "Too smart to be a r*tard"

Janet gave in, but also researched how to help an autistic child. She was away a lot though, and since Tim didn't have an IEP he continued to struggle. He was often told that his stimming was disruptive, so he had to learn to stop doing it. When he was first starting out as Robin he was really happy about catching a criminal on his own for the first time, and he forgot himself and started bouncing on the balls of his feet and flapping his hands a little. He was mortified when Bruce noticed, but the next day there was a fidget toy sitting on the case files he was supposed to review with a note from Bruce saying he thought he might like it. Tim nearly hyperventilated with excitement and had to breathe into a paper bag. Bruce was concerned. Eventually, when Bruce gained legal guardianship over Tim he got him tested, and eventually diagnosed. There was an IEP, but it only really included letting him stim in class since Tim didn't want learning accommodations or counseling. Mostly the diagnosis was just a confirmation of what they already knew. Other than Autism, he is an anxious baby. Not just in a "Cute uwu shy baby" way though, he once threw up from nervousness after he thought he had disappointed Bruce. I think he's always had depression, but it only really flared up after Kon died. And of course, all the bats have PTSD of some sort.

Other: This is included in one of my fics, but I think the stuffed koala bear we see hidden under his bed in that one comic panel with his father is called BamBam. He got it shortly after the flying Grayson's deaths, when he first saw Batman swooping down to save Dick. He tried to say Batman but he had a lisp and the nanny heard BamBam so that was that. He is a serial clothing stealer. He was too shy to take any of Bruce's clothing at first, but he was given a tee-shirt as pajamas when he was staying over for one of the first times (before he moved there) and Bruce never got it back. If he had been questioned about it he would have said he forgot, and that would have been a lie. Bruce didn't mind, the shirt came down to his knees and looked adorable. Soon after that he gave Tim an old sweater of his that had "Shrunk in the wash, strangely enough. I guess the water temperature must have malfunctioned." It was still too large on him. It fell halfway down his thighs and the sleeves completely covered his hands.

#Tim drake #autistic tim drake #autistic bruce wayne #tim drake headcanons #tim drake is adorkable #he is a baby #a baddass baby #but still a baby #bad parent jack drake #okay-ish janet drake #she tries but jack is an asshole and wont let her help #and she is an adult who can make her own decisions #so part of that is on her #but not all of it #and she does love her timmy #bruce wayne is a good parent #jack drake can rot in hell

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nottswhore · 3 years

Note

Hey I don't know if this is too much of a hard request if it is you don't need to do it!! I wanted to request how Draco would react to having an autistic s/o! Any gender is fine! Like how they are sensitive to loud sounds or certain touch!! Like he could be all protective about them 🥺💚 also any house is fine!!! Thank you so much!

Thank you so much for the request! Now i don’t know much about autism, so i’m going to have to research up on that. I have (i think) 3 requests that i’ll try to write today, if i can’t i’m so sorry! But this one will be written, i’m going to edit this post to add on the story. (what i’m saying is, the story will be on this exact post) so stay tuned!

——————————————————————-

i’ve been d r a g g i n g it on to write this request since i’m pretty sure i’m gonna get it wrong but i’m bored as f u c k so yeah

autistic

kay so i know the name isn’t original but i can’t think of a better one

summary: y/n is scared to tell her boyfriend, Draco, that she’s autistic, but he accepts her right away :)

warnings: this isn’t a warning but i just wanted to let you guys know, i know that being autistic isn’t just being sensitive to loud sounds but i honestly don’t know what it’s like, so if you could tell me in the comments, i’ll gladly fix it! And the person who wrote the request said that they are sensitive to some touch, and i don’t know what that means so i’m just going to guess that they don’t like being touched during certain situations. oh and some cursing

face visual:

You woke up with the sun shining in your face, temporarily blinding the shit outta you. You groaned, getting up to close your curtains but yelped as a strong arm pulled you back.

You then remembered that Draco had fallen asleep with you last night.

Your worries flooded back to you again. You fell asleep last night, trying to figure out a way to tell him that you’re autistic... you didn’t think it was a bad quality, but Draco could be judgemental sometimes and you didn’t want to lose him. Pushing your thoughts aside, you tried to sit up.

“Dracoooooo... let me go.”

He then frown-pouted, his eyes still closed. “m’no wanna... stay with me,” he pulled you tighter.

You groaned, turning around and threading your hand through his hair. He smiled, thinking he accomplished what he wanted but then you yanked on his hair. hard.

his eyes shot open and he looked at you, narrowing his eyes. “fine... if you wanna be like that.” He then turned around, his hand accidentally pushing the lamp off your bedside table.

It landed on the floor with a loud crash, and you immediately clamped your hands over your ears and buried your face in your pillow.

After staying like that for a few minutes, (partly since you were tired and finally found a way to block out the sun) you got up again. Draco was standing next to the shattered lamp, wand in hand. He was watching you, with a confused look on his face.

Your face flushed red, and you quickly got up to get ready.

He waved a spell and the lamp re-arranged itself on your table again.

walking to potions class

Draco had his arm around your waist, glaring at any boy who looked at you and ignoring the girls who fanned over him.

You eventually made it to class, sitting down at your table at the front.

Professor Snape didn’t arrive yet, so you set to take out your stuff and started to doodle. One arm on the desk and your other hand drawing, you dipped your quill in ink, absorbed in your own world and not even knowing that Draco was watching you draw in awe.

He touched your free arm softly, making you yelp and knock over your bottle of ink.

Draco looked at you, a bit hurt but mostly confused. Before he could say anything, Snape walked through the door, his black robe flying behind him. He stopped where you were, looked down at the spilled ink, waved a spell at it and kept walking to his desk.

Snape started talking, and Draco attempted to ask you about what happened.

“y/n. y/n,” he hissed, trying to get your attention.

Professor Snape looked up and narrowed his eyes. “Perhaps, Mr. Malfoy... you would like to share whatever is more interesting than what i’m talking about with the class?”

Draco shook his head, “no professor.”

“Very well. Moving on.”

The rest of the class Draco kept stealing worried glances at you, but he made sure not to touch you again.

after class

You got up immediately, a free period next. You made it your goal to get to your room before Draco could follow you, but no such luck. He ran after you.

“y/n. y/n!” You huffed, stopping in your tracks and looking back at him. “what...”

“what was that? you’ve been acting odd all day.” He then let his imagination take over, realiziation going over his face. “am i too clingy? what did i do? i’m sorry. is it me? oh merlin. it is me, isn’t it? you realized that you didn’t like me and you’re trying to tell me. But we’ve been dating a day! please give me a chanc-”

you cut him off. You were going to tell him, you decided. If he decided he didn’t like you, then so be that. you groaned inwardly, preparing for the worst.

“Draco... i’m autistic.” “oh,” he looked at you.

You continued. “I didn’t want to tell you so soon, but i figured if you were going to date me, you deserve to know. I don’t want you liking me without knowing who i am, and if you want to leave me i underst-”

He broke you off by kissing you, him entwining one hand in your hair, the other cupping your cheek. You froze, but eventually melted into his touch. You felt his ring dig softly into your cheek, his hand slightly tugging your hair.

He broke apart, chucking at your flushed face and messy hair.

Taking your hand in his, he started leading you to the library. “Let’s go study, yeah?”

You tugged on his hand, a worried look on your face. “hey... could you not tell anyone?” “of course darling.”

You walked to the library, your hand in his. After sitting down and studying for half an hour, you heard a voice.

“There she is!”

You looked up to see a boy pointing at you, laughing with his few friends. “The autistic one.” They then burst into laughter, while you burst into tears, hiding your face in Draco’s chest. He gently pulled you off of him and stood up.

Draco wasn’t the tallest person, but he still won a few inches over the boy. “what the fuck did you say?” The boy looked up at him, mouthing ‘oh shit.’

Draco laughed, pushing him against the wall by his collar. “Oh shit is right motherfucker.” He then punched the kid, giving him a bloody nose. He then continued on to drop the kid on the floor, leaving him crumpled.

He punched the kid’s friends, dragging one back that was running away by the hood.

They scrambled away, all injured in some way.

Draco then turned around, a smile on his face as if he didn’t just beat up a bunch of students.

He came over to you, wiping a tear off your face. “Don’t cry darling... i think you’re perfect. Don’t let them get to you love.”

You smiled and nodded, hugging him. He picked you up and sat down on a couch, laying your head in his lap, stroking your hair. “Is this okay?” You looked up at him, his eyes watching you.

“This is perfect.”

———————————————————————-

YAYYYY it’s finished! i hope you liked it :) thank you so much for the request!

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nightcoremoon · 3 years

Text

it's evident people haven't watched enough kids media to adequately understand just what constitutes a kids show as opposed to a show that kids can watch and be entertained by

when I was a kid I watched king of the hill and blues clues (among other things). king of the hill is NOT a kids show by any stretch of the imagination; it is an adult animation, replete with fairly heavy subject matter, sexual themes, political humor, cultural references that kids won't understand, discussion of religion in the modern day, depression and suicidal thoughts, adultery, puberty and sexual awakenings, body image, propane, propane accessories, and ultimately above all else what it means to be family. and blues clues is a show about a man who plays with a shovel & pail, talks to his condiments and mailbox, and sometimes he teleports into the felt dimension, all while playing Sherlock Holmes hercule poirot with his dog, and teaching kids how to count and draw and recognize colors and learn their ABCs. do you see the fucking difference? no? then I'll make it more clear.

dora the explorer & go diego go, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, octonauts, bob the builder, super why, wild kratts, zoboomafoo, jojo's circus, wow wow wubbzy, stanley, doc mcstuffins, max & ruby, wonder pets, bubble guppies, ni hao khai lan, backyardigans, little einsteins, caillou (ugh) and p*w p*trol (double ugh), these are all undeniably kids shows. their audience is children (and the occasional adult by age with severe intellectual disabilities) and maybe the parents whose brains are too fried to care what's on the tv. these shows main purpose is to educate while entertaining on subjects one would encounter in preschool and kindergarten. counting 1-10, ABCs, basic color, basic language, basic intrapersonal skills, basic emotional literacy, problem solving, using your imagination, what sounds do animals make, breaking the fourth wall to ask the audience to answer what's 2+2 or tell them a lesson they learned today like I LEARNED TO NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER or some simple message like that. it's always light, there's no edgelord grimdark "what if they were dead the whole time" bullshit. it's just good clean simple wholesome [except for paw patrol] programs for kids to be distracted for a little bit of time, while also letting them walk away having said they learned something. at least half of the time dedicated to every single one of these shows is devoted to the same shit over and over again. I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map WE FUCKING GET IT YOURE THE MAP! backpack backpack I'm the backpack loaded up with things and knickknacks too, anything that you might need I've got inside for you. we did it we did it we did it HOORAY! come on vamanos everybody let's go, come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it,

WHERE ARE WE GOING

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THESE SONGS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND THEYLL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD UNTIL I DIE

say click take a pic, the hot dog dance, CAN HE FIX IT???, pizza! spaghetti!, THE DOC IS IN AND SHELL FIX YOU UP, max & ruby ruby & max max & ruby ruby & max MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX, wonder pets wonder pets we're on our way to help the friend and save the day, we're not too big and we're not too tough but when we work together we've got the right stuff, goooOOO WONDER PETS YAAAAY~, yoooour backyard friends the backyardigans (weve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore, thATS WHY EVERY DAY WEEEEERE BACK FOR MOOOORE), were going on a trip in our little rocket ship SOARING THROOOOOUGH THE SKY!!! little einsteins!

I swear to god I've been forced to watch so much children's television in my life it's no wonder there's no room left for serotonin executive function or the ability to speak to morons

point is I know my way around kids shows. my sisters were born in 98, 02, 05, 06, 10, and 18, I think, I don't even know because they're all a blur, I'm literally closer in age to my parents than to my youngest sibling, I never stopped being exposed to kids shows. I know what is and is not a kids show.

adventure time? not a kids show even though kids watch it. it's a "for everyone" show. it's got a target audience of 100% of the planet. steven universe? not a kids show even though kids watch it. miraculous ladybug? not a kids show even though kids watch it. scooby doo? not a kids show even though kids watch it. I'm not discussing the history of adult acceptance of animation, adult animation, or anime, so don't ask. dexter's laboratory. the grim adventures of billy & mandy. codename kids next door. teen titans. fairly oddparents. kim possible. invader zim. AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. totally spies. courage the cowardly dog. the proud family. SPONGEBOB F*ING SQUAREPANTS. powerpuff girls. foster's home for imaginary friends. oh yeah you know what's coming next. my little goddamn pony friendship is mother fucking magic is not. a. kids. show. even though kids can watch it. it is a cartoon. it is an everyone show. that's why it's disingenuous and fucking stupid to decry any fan over the age of 7 as a pedophile and a weirdo creep; it participates in the infantilization of femininity. why is it ok for 20somethings to keep watching aang and squidward and finn & jake and zim and "return the slab" and everyone's totally fine wth that but when it's twilight sparkle suddenly everyone's like whoa you're a huge fucking loser for watching this girly wussy baby show for girly wussy babies. oh some bronies are sex crazed perverts? I'm sorry have you seen just how much porn there is for spongebob? oh some bronies are cringe? I'm sorry have you met half the steven universe fandom? oh some bronies are fascist rick sanchez kinnies with fedoras and katanas? BREAKING BAD FANS, HELLO!?!?!?

this is such a stupid tiring boring argument. maybe magic talking horses being friends and turning their friendship into magic rainbow nuclear fucking arms and blasting the evil out of a demon and turning her into the coolest fucking half-unicorn biker lesbian in the world is something that brings me, and adult, pure wholesome joy, in between bojack horseman and dark souls and breaking bad and deftones and fallout new vegas and jojo and cannibal corpse and other bleak depressing edgy shit that also brings me comfort. and MAYBE me at 16 starting to watch MLP:FIM becoming finally comfortable with the outward public expression of "traditionally feminine" interests is the main reason why I realized I was a girl when I did, and MAYBE I just like how pretty the colorful ponies look, AND MAYBE I KIN WITH ONE OR TWO OR EIGHT CHARACTERS, WHAT OF IT?

AND MAYBE ITS LITERALLY THE BEST LONG RUNNING FANTASY TV SERIES ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW* SINCE GAME OF THRONES FUCKING SUCKS

but whatever, kids watch it sometimes so it's illegal for anyone who's not a kid to enjoy it, but only if it's something girly because liking girly things is bad because girliness is inherently bad, and the only things that are good have predominantly male casts*. right? right??? wrong, fucker. g4mlp has so much more in common with adventure time & atla than with blues clues or dora the fucking explora...r.

but keep in mind I'm saying this while hugging a blues clues plushie my grandma gave me for valentine's day because it reminds her of when I was a baby because I may not watch blues clues but it still means a lot to me for nostalgia and is 50% of the reason why I love ray charles. kids media isn't necessarily bad. I still do enjoy watching it with my little sisters. all this is is me being anal about categorization because I'm autistic and I LIVE for categorizing everything.

*besides atla obviously

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poisonedapples · 4 years

Text

The sides except they go to a tech school

This is extremely self indulgent but I apologize for nothing

Roman’s Program: Digital Media

Roman’s big dream is to be an actor, but he also has a very intense need to know a whole bunch of stuff about the production field and be a jack of all trades, basically

He’s also autistic and has a huge special interest in movies, so he’s just on cloud nine

He had a really hard time making friends at his home school, which is also another reason why he most to go to the tech school instead. He wanted a second chance and to meet new people who loved the same stuff he could never seem to shut up about, but he’s also very nervous and just really wants to make some friends this year

He’s also extremely salty that Remus followed him to his new school. Remus was always the talk of the school and Roman was always in his shadow, so this time, his strategy is to pretend that Remus doesn’t even exist

Remus will not take this as an a solution, but Roman’s not giving up anyway

He also met Patton, Logan, and Virgil in his College English class. Their seats were assigned next to each other, but it was Patton that actually started getting all of them to talk to each other

Speaking of Patton, him and Patton went together like a moth to a flame. They hit it off day one and have acted like the best of friends since, and it makes Roman extremely happy

Roman and the others also became closer friends because of a Digital Media project Roman did about the different programs around the school. Since all his friends are from different programs, he interviewed them all, and it was the most fun project ever because of everything they did behind the scenes

They mostly just goofed off when not on camera. It was lovely

He refused to let Remus take part in that project though. RIP to Remus

Patton’s program: Cosmotology

Patton’s biggest dream is to mostly help people feel better about themselves. He wants to make people feel happy and learn a little more self love, because nothing makes Patton happier than seeing other people enjoying themselves

He’s also an extremely sociable person, so a need to help people like who they are mixed with lots of talking? Without getting a master’s in psychology? A perfect mix to become a hair stylist!

He loves all the different styles you can do and how different everyone’s hair can be from another person’s. The program also has you learn stuff about makeup, and he loves putting makeup on people as well. He practices on the girls in the program a lot, and they always get so excited when they see the finished product. It fills him with happy butterflies

He doesn’t tend to wear makeup on himself, though. Not because he thinks boys can’t wear makeup, he just hates the feeling of it on his skin. Hence why he will take any willing participant to be his canvas

His extroverted energy also shows a lot in his academic classes. The first day of English, he immediately turned around and started talking to the kid with a camera

It took him a little longer to get the boy sitting next to him to talk to him though. Apparently “We have the same glasses!” Isn’t an acceptable conversation starter

He did, however, get the kid named Virgil to agree to let Patton to put makeup on him. Patton started that conversation by asking about his eyeshadow, but nope, apparently those were just eyebags

Though Virgil still liked makeup anyway, so score, Patton still got what he wanted

Now if only he could get Logan to laugh out loud and cut the serious act. Then he’d be a winner for sure

Logan: Mechatronics

Logan’s a nerd. A huge nerd. Hence why he fits in with the mechatronics program so well

Logan has always loved robots and tinkering with technology. More than anything, he wants to work on space aircrafts as a mechanical engineer, hence why he’s in the mechatronics program

He also has ADHD and his biggest hyperfixations are in robots and space, so he’s completely in his element. It’s nice to spend most of his day in a class where he can talk about spacecrafts and how they worked, and not only will people listen, but they’ll also care about it almost as much as he does

Though, he’d prefer to keep his closet full of robotic kids toys he keeps breaking apart and fixing again to himself. At least for now

Though because he’s in mechatronics, he’s required to be in all advanced classes for his academics to get college credit. Which he doesn’t mind at all, but in his college English class, he definitely sits next to quite...the eclectic bunch

He acts like they inconvenience him, but he actually enjoys their company. Even if Roman can be a little loud, but him and Roman actually hit it off quite well with their debates and frequent conversation jumping

(It’s the ADHD-autism solidarity)

Logan also has quite the liking to Virgil, mostly because they’re both looking into the engineering business and have similar interests with space

Logan pretends like Patton annoys him, but he’s not very good at it. He hates that Patton knows he has a secret love for puns and keeps using it against him to try and make him laugh. How dare he

(Patton just keeps trying because he knows Logan likes it and he’s also a bit of a little shit)

Logan hopes that all three of them consider him one of their closest friends as well. Because actually, now he has more to look forward to in his English class than just the poetry and seeking for alternate meanings for things in text

Now, most of his entertainment comes from saying “Romeo and Juliet is an awful love story” and seeing Roman go off an a rant about how it’s not even a lOVE STORY it’s about THE GENERATION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PARENTS AND KIDS and it’s STRUGGLES, CALCULATOR WATCH-

...It’s quite amusing

Virgil’s Program: Aviation

Anxiety is fight or flight. Well...Virgil literally just wants to take flight

His dad used to take Virgil out on vacations quite often when he was younger and his dad’s job was more focused on traveling, so Virgil has flown in planes a lot. He’s always been an anxious kid, always afraid of so many things, but for some reason...flying was one of the things to calm him the most

Except for going through security, fuck airport security

But still, there was never anything more satisfying than looking through the window on a plane. He’s always loved it, and he’s known since a very young age that he wants to learn to fly things, even if he decides not to become a pilot

He’s seventeen now and still wants to be a pilot, even if his shyness has turned into an anxiety disorder. It’s been a while since he’s been on a plane since his dad is now a psychologist, but he still loves it and misses it almost. So when he heard his district’s tech school had an aviation program, he signed up so fast

His teacher has to practically pry him away from messing with the drones and planes when they need to do other stuff, it’s kinda funny

It’s also great that he met Logan in his English class, because Logan loves engineering and aircrafts like Virgil does. One of Virgil’s backup plans is to be an aerospace engineer, so their conversations are always fun

He also has no idea how Patton figured out his secret love of makeup but now he’s being used as a canvas, apparently

Plus, Roman asked if Virgil could fly a drone for him to get an aerial shot for some digital media projects, so holy shit Virgil made three friends in one day when he’s been trying to make one friend for YEARS

He just bursts into his house like “DAD GUESS WHAT I MADE F R I E N D S”

His Dad is very proud but also very concerned

Virgil just ignores that though and sends memes to the new group chat with all four of them in it

Remus’ Program: Auto Collision Technology

Remus loves broken stuff. Especially big broken things, like cars

Of course, there’s no job for purposely wrecking stuff, but looking at damage in cars and how to repair it is exciting enough for him. His parents are just happy he found something to put more...positive energy into, instead of always causing trouble and getting popular for being “the bad boy”

He had lots of friends at his home school, lots of which he still talks to, mostly because his chaotic energy entertains a lot of people willing to deal with it. He has that same effect at the tech school, but the one person he’s never been able to get more on his side is his own brother

Remus has always been a bit too chaotic for Roman’s liking, and he knows that Roman wanted to go to the tech school for a fresh start. But Remus won’t stop himself just to make his brother happy, so it Roman’s salty about Remus doing something good for himself, then so be it

(Remus is a little salty about Roman being salty, but they’re brothers, what do you expect)

But Remus doesn’t need him anyway! Twin brothers are overrated! He’s got plenty of other people in his programs!

But his closest friend he’s gotten since coming to the tech school? Janus. Him and Janus go together like two chaotic peas in a pod, even if Janus has a whole lot more braincells than Remus ever will

Though, Remus has never had more fun with a friend than with Janus. He’s had lots of friends that come and go once they’re bored of him, but Janus feels real. He feels genuine, and Remus...really doesn’t wanna get rid of that

He likes Janus a lot, hence why he invites Janus over and lets Janus into his super secret eating spot he goes when he doesn’t wanna act like a crackhead at lunch. It’s actually quite nice

Roman just has to deal with the fact that, if he’s gonna be a salty bastard, then Janus is his new ride or die

(Please someone help these twins they’re saltier than the Dead Sea)

Janus’ Program: Firefighting Technology

When Janus was a young teen, he got trapped in a house fire that scarred the left half of his body. Firefighters were the ones that saved him, and since then, he’s always had a huge respect for them. Enough so to really want to become a firefighter

He’s always been very focused on self care and secretly very empathetic, so that mixed with past experience from being saved from such a dangerous event actually makes him a great candidate for a firefighter. He’s not one giant on talking, but he’s still good with teamwork when others want him to work with them

He has a good set of friends in his program, but his best friend was someone he met during lunch when trying to get away from the noise of the actual cafeteria. He also noticed that same kid was also in his anatomy class, so...destiny, I guess?

Remus can definitely be an eclectic person, but Janus secretly thrives on a good set of chaos. It makes life interesting, and Remus can definitely be described as interesting

He’s also the only person Janus has met that thinks Janus’ scars are cool as hell, so double win

It’s also immensely entertaining to join Remus on his quests to constantly annoy his brother. If he had a brother he’d probably do the same, honestly

Mostly, he’s just here for the chaotic ride. He gets to be a sarcastic bastard with a secret love for the dramatic flair and somehow make friends at the same time

He still needs to find a way to get under Patton’s skin, though. Patton never gets bothered by Janus, but that’s probably because Patton has known Janus as his neighbor for literal years

Damn him. Janus will get him some time

Though for right now, Remus gets most of the wins of weirding out Patton. That is, until Roman shrieks and chases them both off

Yup. Janus chose a good best friend. Even if he’s a chaotic, salty bastard

#ts janus #ts remus #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts virgil #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #janus sanders #fire mention #house fire mention #I had way too much fun with this so hopefully someone else is entertained

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