#also my cousin has another roommate closer to my age i hope we can be friends

[dameronsgalaxygal]

I’ve Been Waiting For You - Chapter 3: Voulez Vous

series masterlist

Pairing: modern!poe x reader

Warnings: language, drinking, mentions and implications of past abusive relationship, light angst, things get steamy.

Word Count: 3176

Song Link: Voulez Vous

A/N: this took a really long time!! @rewritingstarrs and I filled the doc with notes/comments/suggestions and I still feel meh about it but hopefully it doesn’t disappoint!! don’t worry, things will be fine. don't forget to listen to the song! as always, feedback and comments are appreciated! taglist is open!

Summary: A night out in the city with your friends leads to the unexpected with Poe. 

The first few weeks in Florida had been pretty good. Your things were completely unpacked, your room decorated to your liking, and to your surprise, not one missed call from Kyle. Rey and Rose had toured you around Miami Beach, and as promised, Poe sent you the information for his aunt’s bookstore down at the shore.

You were walking down the beach with your roommates when you saw the little store across the street named “Solo Reads”.

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you guys later. I’m gonna go look inside this bookstore” You pointed across the street.

“Sounds good, text me when you’re done.” Rey said before trailing off with Rose.

The bookstore was small and antique-style. It looked as though it had been in this location for hundreds of years, the walls slowly starting to fall apart, but it added to the aesthetic. The smell of polished wood and coffee flooded the room and you couldn’t help but smile. You loved it.

You walked around in admiration until a short older woman peeked from behind an aisle. “Hello, dear. Can I help you find anything?”

Smiling gently, you approached her. “Hi, I was actually wondering if you were hiring. Your nephew is a good friend of my cousins and he referred me to you.”

She smiled back. “Ah, yes. Y/N, is it? Just moved from New York?” You nodded.

“I’m Leia.”

“Pleased to meet you, Leia.” You stuck out your hand to shake hers and she took it, grabbing your hand with both hers, squeezing tightly.

“You as well, Y/N”, she let go of your hand before walking behind the small checkout desk. “So when can you start?”.

“Start?” You were confused. You had just met the woman and you hadn’t even been interviewed yet.

“You know, start working. I need someone to care for the books more than I can. These babies, they’re old. I’d like to make sure they live as long as possible. Some customers aren’t so gentle in handling them. You were an English major, right? I know you’d appreciate all of these as much as I do.” She brushed dust off of a couple books that were stacked on the counter.

You completely understood. You had collected old novels and magazines since you were a child. Your favorite book being Pride and Prejudice. The idea of someone disrespecting a piece of work that an author put so much dedication into made you sad. You looked around the store before turning to face Leia.

“Absolutely. I will make sure that this place and these books are in great shape all the time”. It was true. You loved and adored all forms of literature, so you would work so hard to keep the place organized.

She smiled. “I know we just met, and that I didn’t give you a proper interview, but my nephew has great judgement in people. He told me you were a sweetheart, and I could tell that he was right the moment you introduced yourself. I know you’ll be good here”.

You blushed slightly. Poe called me a sweetheart?

Suddenly a girl, around the same age as you, burst through the door quickly taking off her jacket. “Sorry I’m late, Leia. I got distracted on the bus by this family who had never been to Miami before and their kid was amazed by the beach, so I missed my stop. But it was the cutest thing! You had to be there.” She made her way behind the desk and put her jacket down.

“Yeah, yeah. Tallie, this is Y/N. She’ll be working here soon.”

“Oh thank goodness. It gets lonely around here.” She chuckled.

“Hopefully I’ll be able to provide some sort of company” You smiled before your phone vibrated in your back pocket. You pulled it out to check the message. It was from Poe.

I’m down at the shore right now if you wanted to meet me and I can introduce you to my Aunt Leia!

You smiled before responding quickly:

I’m actually with her now! I got the job:)

You looked back up at Leia and Tallie who were talking and continuing to dust off the old books. “I can start working tomorrow, if that’s alright.”

Leia nodded. “Wonderful! We can discuss a proper work schedule later, but how does 11am work for you?”

“That’s perfect” Your smile widened. “Thank you so much, Leia. Nice to meet you Tallie!”

The two women said their goodbyes as you left the store with the same feeling you had after leaving Finn’s party a few weeks ago. So far, everything seemed to be going well, and you hoped that this was the start to the kind of life you had always wanted.  

You pulled out your phone to call Rey, but just as you were about to dial her number, Poe called you.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Congrats on the job. I mean, I knew she’d hire you, but still!” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“Thank you. For both congratulating me and for putting in a good word.” You, once again, were blushing.

“Of course. Thought I’d help you get a kick start here in the city. You got plans right now?” He asked.

You bit your lip nervously before responding. “Not really.”

Suddenly his voice through the phone sounded closer. “Good. Then can I treat you to lunch?” You jumped to turn around and see him laughing, his phone still pressed to his ear. A sense of deja vu ran over you as you remembered this was the same way Poe approached you at Finn’s party.

You hung up the phone and scoffed playfully. “You need to stop doing that.”

“I’ve only done it twice,” He laughed, putting his phone in his pocket.

You chuckled lightly before looking around. “So where are we going?”

“There’s a nice deli a couple blocks down. You up for sandwiches?”

Your mouth nearly watered at the thought. You hadn’t eaten since early this morning and it was only a couple slices of toast. “That sounds fantastic.”

The afternoon you spent with Poe was familiar. Just how you two talked for hours on his couch at Finns party, you two spent hours in the Deli talking about almost everything under the sun. He told you about his childhood growing up in South Miami, and he also revealed that his mother had passed away due to cancer when he was 18. You appreciated him sharing something so personal with you, and you wish you could do the same and talk to him about your past. But you had met him not too long ago. If you could hardly tell Rey who you have known your entire life, there was no way you could open up to your new friend right away. You had to admit though, every moment you spent time with Poe felt natural. It felt easy.

Over the next few weeks, your friendship with Poe skyrocketed. You had been working at the bookstore, and sometimes Poe would stop by to see Leia. Leia had mentioned that he had never visited this often, which made your heart flutter. You brushed it off though. You were enjoying your friendship with Poe and have someone brand new in your life. A blank slate.

You were sitting on the couch watching a movie with Rey and Rose when your phone buzzed. You smiled when you saw it was a text from Poe.

Hey! Just landed back to Miami and was thinking about going to the club with Finn tonight. We were wondering if you and the girls wanted to join.

“Poe wants to know if we want to go out tonight with him and Finn,” You asked your roommates, who didn’t take their faces off the TV.

“Yeah, I’m down. What time?” Rey asked and Rose nodded in agreement.

Yeah that sounds fun! What time were you thinking?

How bout 8? We can pick you up!

Sounds good. See ya then, Dameron.

Can’t wait :)

Smiling, you put your phone down. “Eight. They’ll pick us up” You reached for a chip from the bowl on the coffee table before returning to watching the movie.

Rose checked her phone. “That’s two and a half hours from now! I need to go get ready.” She stood up and headed to the bathroom to shower.

You laughed. You had gotten used to Rose spending at least an hour in the bathroom making sure she looked, as she liked to call it, “photogenic enough”.

Just as you were about to continue watching the film, Rey pressed pause and looked at you.

You cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“What’s going on with you and Poe?” She asked with a smirk.

“What are you talking about? He’s my friend.” You chuckled before munching on another chip.

“Oh come on. When he’s not working, you’re with him. You smile every time he texts you. Him and Finn used to come over a lot, but since you’ve moved in, Poe has started coming over without Finn. Even Finn has noticed. He talks to me about it at work. Are you two-”

“No! No, Rey, it’s not like that.” You said sharply. You sighed when she didn’t reply at first, taken aback by your tone. “Look, I like Poe. He’s the first friend I’ve made after moving here. We get along really well and I enjoy being around him. Nothing’s happening between us. Okay?” You were saying this to Rey, but really you were trying to remind yourself of these things. You did like Poe. You were starting to like him in the way you had thought you liked Kyle, and it scared you. From what you had witnessed from the weeks you had spent being around him, you knew Poe wasn’t anything like your ex, but feeling something towards him meant feeling vulnerable. Were you ready for that?

“Besides, I don’t want to jump into anything right now. Not after everything with Kyle. I’m..” You paused to take a breath, your memories rushing back. “I’m still trying to get over that”.

She nodded, knowing that you hated bringing him up. “I’m sorry”.

“It’s okay” You reassured her. “Let’s finish the movie.”

The movie ended about half an hour later, giving you and Rey still enough time to get ready for your night out. You had been to a few bars with Rey since you had gotten to Florida, but not a club, and not with Poe.

You checked the temperature on the weather app, seeing it was going to be 80 degrees and humid. You changed into a pair of shorts and a crop top with a pair of white converse and gold earrings. You curled your hair and put on some light makeup. Your first time at a club, might as well look cute, right? Or were you subconsciously trying to impress Poe?

A few minutes after you had finished getting ready, there was a knock on the front door. “Coming!” You said as you headed towards the door, opening it.

Poe and Finn stood before you, smiling. “You look nice.” Poe smirked.

Your cheeks heated up once again, a familiar feeling around him. “Thanks”.

Finn rolled his eyes before chuckling softly. “You girls ready?”

Both Rey and Rose emerged from their rooms, “Yep!”

You all headed to the car after locking your apartment. You asked if it would be better to uber, but Rey wasn’t a big drinker and was always the designated driver. You trusted her to call an uber to take you all back home if she wasn’t feeling sober.

The club was huge. It was crowded and hot, bright and colorful LED lights that flashed through the entire room. The music was so loud that you could hardly hear your friends talking to you. But after a few drinks in, there was really no talking necessary.

You, Rey and Rose were on the dance floor allowing yourself to let loose. This was the first time you had actually felt a sense of joy. Yes, you were slightly intoxicated, but you had your friends, good music, a job that you enjoyed, and you were in Miami. You had seemed to forget about your past, and it felt so good.

Poe and Finn were getting more drinks at the bar, Poe unable to take his eyes off of you.

“You like her?” Finn yelled over the music for Poe to hear.

Keeping his eyes on you, Poe replied, “Fuck, man. I think so.” He laughed softly.

“Then go get her!” He nudged him, in which Poe smirked before heading to the dance floor.

You smiled as he approached you, reaching your arms out to grab him and pulling him to you. If you were sober, there was a likely chance you wouldn’t have allowed him to be as close as he was right now. But again, your past had seemed to leave you in the moment, and it was Poe.  

You danced together, jumping and spinning each other around until his chest was pressed against your back, hands on your hips. One of your hands was placed on his, the other snaked up to reach around his neck and run through his hair.

You could feel his hot breath on your neck as you grinded your hips against his. There was no denying that the man was getting very, very excited. Your breathing started to pick up, what with the humidity in the club and the alcohol in your system, not to mention the fact that your ass was pressed against the crotch of the guy you were starting to develop a crush for.

You felt Poes lips press against your neck and you gasped at the feeling. They were soft and warm and they provided a sense of comfort even in such an intimate setting. He continued to trace kisses up your neck until he spun you around to face him. You looked up at him to see dark eyes. You bit your lip before wrapping your arms around his neck, tugging on his dark curls as he pulled you closer. Lips nearly brushing over each other, you two continued to dance against one another.

At that moment, nothing else seemed to exist. Your foreheads pressed together, both of you smiling nervously, he leaned in to kiss you. Hesitant at first, you kissed him back. You swore you could hear fireworks going off in the background as you pulled away, music still pounding through your ears. You looked up at Poe as he jerked his head toward the door and whispered in your ear loud enough for you to hear, “Do you want to get out of here?”

With hardly any hesitation, you nodded. “Yes.” You had been drinking, but you were consciously able to respond verbally and process what he was really asking you. Everything you had mentioned to Rey earlier completely left your mind. You wanted Poe.

Poe smirked before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the crowd. You looked around nervously to see Rey, Rose and Finn glancing at you and Poe as they continued to dance. Rey shot you a look and you nodded, letting her know that it was okay, and she winked at you.

Surprisingly unlocked, Poe opened the back door to his car and pulled you in, immediately latching his lips to yours as you shut it behind you. The kiss was rough and hot, but his lips fit perfectly against yours and you moaned slightly into the kiss as his tongue traced your bottom lip. His hands trailed from your waist up to your stomach and you pulled away for a breath.

Poes hands reached up to cup your cheeks, holding your face close. He leaned up and kissed the corner of your lips. Instantly, it all came back to you.

You were lying on the bed as Kyle hovered over you. Tears in your eyes, you stared at the wall. He leaned down to kiss the corner of your lips.

You had completely sobered up as the memories of Kyle came flooding back. Kyle used to kiss the corner of your mouth. The small gesture had brought back so many terrible memories and you decided that you couldn’t keep going, not tonight. You let out a breath, “Stop, Poe.”

Still in the heat of the moment, Poe responded without thinking. “No, no, no, hey baby, it’s okay.” his voice was calm as he brushed hair out of your face before leaning up to kiss you again.

“No, Poe. Stop!” Your voice was louder than you had intended. He pulled back immediately. “I’m sorry,” you avoided making eye contact, getting off of his lap and sitting in the seat next to him. “I want this. I really do….but I’m just not ready.” You looked down, hands fidgeting. “Uh, I think I’m going to go. Thank you for tonight, Poe….I’ll call you.”

You quickly got out of the car, walking through the parking lot as you opened your phone to call an uber.

“Y/N, wait! I’m sorry!” Poe called after you, but you kept walking. Poe leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He let out a sigh, completely sobering up. “Fuck.”

You texted Rey as your Uber approached.

Got an uber home. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll see you when you get home.

It wasn’t a long ride back, but each second felt like hours. You started to wonder if you had just ruined what you had with Poe. If you did, it would mean losing the spark that you felt with him, losing a good friend, and that was the last thing you wanted. You weren’t angry at Poe. He had no idea. You were angry at yourself.

After what seemed like forever, you were home. You thanked and tipped your driver, walking into your apartment. Feeling exhausted, you went to bed right away, or at least tried to. It was difficult to sleep with so many thoughts running through your head. Memories of Kyle, walking away from Poe. Dancing with Poe. Kissing Poe.  

You are pulled from your thoughts when your phone that was resting on your bedside table buzzed.

Hey Y/N. I’m really sorry about earlier. I never intended to make you uncomfortable. I hope this doesn’t affect anything. Let me know if you want to talk. I’ll have my phone next to me all night. If not, no worries and I hope you sleep well.  -Poe

It gave you some relief knowing that Poe wasn’t freaked out by your outburst and that he wanted to talk. You wanted to reply to him, let him know everything would be okay, but you needed to allow yourself to calm down. The night may not have ended the way you intended it to, but there was still a huge chunk of you that still needed to be healed. Poe didn’t deserve to be treated like a rebound. You liked him a lot. You wanted to do this right, but you needed to be ready.

You let out a deep breath before putting your phone back down on the table, closing your eyes before you drifted off.

taglist <open> @twomoonstwosuns​ @rewritingstarrs​ @darksideofclarke​ @writingforhoursonend​ @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ @lanatheawesome​ @fanfiction-trashpile​ @fantasticcopeaglepasta​ @softly-sad​ @aidela​ @yeeintensifies​ @the-cry-of-youth​

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron #poe x reader #poe dameron x y/n #I've been waiting for you poe #poe thinks he did something wrong and it makes me big sad #we do not like Kyle

[yikeswtfmate]

Meet me in the Hallway

Summary: Y/N and Bucky have hated each other since they were children and now they’re forced to live together, whether they like it or not.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Warnings: swearing; sexual themes

A/N: ...and they were roommates! I’m not going to pass up a chance of putting my spin on this trope, come on, I’m weak! Full disclosure: I was so excited about this idea that I’ve just spent the last 4 hours writing it without pause

masterlist

Bucky sometimes wants to punch Steve in the face. Either that, or maybe punch himself in the face just to save himself from having to live with the two Rogers cousins one more day. He doesn’t mind Steve. After years of living together through college he’s used to all of his habits, including those that are borderline neurotic – like how all the plates have to be stacked according to colour, and not just dump them one over the other. He does mind Y/N, however, although he’s known her for just as much time he’s known his best friend. The only problem is that, where he can forgive any of Steve’s misgivings, Y/N just simply pisses him off. So when Steve came home one day and announced without any kind of heads up that Y/N will be moving in the spare bedroom that they’ve been using as an office of sorts until now, his first thought was to bang his head against the wall until he’d lose consciousness.

Steve was suspiciously silent when Bucky tried to get something more out of him, like ‘why’ or ‘I thought she was living with her boyfriend’ and ‘buy why, Steve’ and even ‘can’t you just send her to stay with Sam and let me live in peace.’

“Just for this year, until she’s done with her residency.” Is all that Steve offers as an explanation.

It was many months later, when Steve was staying over at Peggy’s, when Bucky found Y/N home crying her eyes out when he got all the answers. Apparently, her boyfriend of 4 years was cheating on her (“Didn’t I tell you from the start that he’s a fucking idiot?” which earned him a scowl) so she had to move out from their shared apartment (“I’ve left all my books there, Bucky, I’ve been collecting those books for ever and the asshole just threw them out the next day!” which earned her a shake of his head). She knew from the start that she won’t be able to afford living by herself (“Do you know how much rent is in New York? God fucking dammit, some days I just wanted to stab my eyes with the scalpels” which earned her a nod of agreement) and going back to her parents was definitely not on the table (“I’d actually stab myself to death with those scalpels than having to live with my parents ever again” which earned her a smack over her head), so she had to ask Steve, “the only functioning human being I actually know who’s our age” if he’ll take her in “like a fucking baby.”

They ended up finishing an entire bottle of whiskey that night and the next morning Y/N was sleeping in his bed, her naked skin barely covered by his blanket. Bucky’s first reaction was to let out an incredulous groan, unable to process his reasoning for sleeping with her. As great as the sex had been, they were never a fan of each other, ever since Bucky used to pull her hair and push her in the sand when they were 8. Growing older, that dislike slowly shifted to pure hatred, and those months that they’ve been living under the same roof were proof that they would most likely murder each other before seeing eye to eye on literally anything.

So Bucky hauled his ass out of the apartment as soon as possible, hoping to all that’s mighty she would just take the hint and get the hell out of his bed by the time he’d come back home. Thankfully she did, and they didn’t speak a word of that night until it happened again a month later when Y/N nearly knocked his door down one night because his music wouldn’t let her sleep. The next time it happened, Bucky crawled into her bed at midnight after a particularly bad date, without giving it much thought. After that, it just became routine that they’d find themselves in the other’s bed whenever there would be a bad day at work, lack of sleep, a heated fight that neither wanted to lose, once even just because Bucky came back from the gym all sweaty and annoyed, and two times because she would insist on walking around the apartment in the tiniest shorts that he’d ever seen in his entire goddamn life. Neither of them wanted to think too much about it, justifying it as a means to an end, and as much as they would be attracted to each other, Bucky once famously said that he’d rather marry Sam than bury the hatchet with Y/N, just because “she’s so fucking annoying!”

*

“Where is that dunce anyway?” Y/N asks. “I thought he said he wanted to see this movie as well.”

She hands Steve a bottle of beer and takes her seat on the sofa. Peggy raises an eyebrow in a silent question that Y/N chooses to ignore, and Steve shrugs before popping some popcorn in his mouth.

“Said he had a date.”

Y/N can’t help gritting her teeth in annoyance. She absolutely refuses to think of Bucky as more than an easy lay, but she is human after all, and she’d rather him have a love life as miserable as hers. It’s not fair he gets to try his luck at finding the love of his life, while he’s getting his fix with her whenever he pleases in the meantime.

Steve nudges her shin with his foot from over his armchair, startling her out of her thoughts. Looking up at him, she notices the worry on his face. This boy knows her too well for her to have a semblance of privacy, goddammit. It’s a miracle he hasn’t figured out what’s been going on behind his back, although she has a feeling that’s just because Peggy is too much of an angel to shed some light on the situation.

“What’s wrong?” He demands.

“Nothing. Let’s just watch the stupid movie.” Y/N mutters.

“Nuh-uh.” Steve insists. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Y/N sighs and although Peggy tries to divert his attention, she knows there’s no way in hell she’ll get out of it now. He watches her determinedly, waiting for an honest answer. He’s not stupid and he’s noticed something’s been different with the dynamic between his cousin and his best friend lately. He’s seen how tense Y/N gets whenever Bucky touches her waist when he passes her, which is weird in and of itself considering they would flat out refuse to be in the same room together at first. He can also distinctly remember Y/N wearing one of Bucky’s sweaters when he found her asleep in front of the tv one night. Then it suddenly clicks.

“You’ve been sleeping together!” He shouts accusingly.

Y/N’s eyes widen in shock and she is suddenly feeling very warm. Peggy sighs and mutters something that sounds oddly like “no shit, Sherlock” under her breath. Steve crosses his arms, but his expression turns from incredulous to worried again.

“Oh shit, you’ve been sleeping together.” Then onwards to furious: “And the asshole is on a date right now?” And then wary: “Are you ok with this?” And finally confused: “Why are you ok with this?”

“Look, Stevie.” Y/N starts with a sigh. “It’s not like I have a choice. We’ve never talked about us being more than…fuck buddies, I guess you’d call it.” She says irritated. “We’re fine like this, we both get what we want out of it without any kind of responsibility. It’s neither here nor there if I’m ok with it in the end because Bucky hates me.”

“Y/N, we’ve talked about this.” Peggy tries but she’s cut off with a shake of the head.

“No, Peg. I know he does. Steve can tell you. He’s hated me ever since we were children. To be fair, I couldn’t stand him either, but now I just…” There’s a split second of silence before Y/N’s eyes seem to bulge out of her skull. She plants her hands on either side of her face and shakes her head as if trying to pry the thought out of her head. “Fuck.”

Peggy scoots closer and puts her arm over Y/N’s shoulders. “Oh, Y/N.” She says with a sympathetic smile.

“This is a mess. I’m going to call him and tell him to come home.” Steve announces, his phone already in his hand.

“Don’t, Steve. He doesn’t owe me anything. I’ve never asked anything more of him and he never offered. Just leave it at that. I’ll get over it. Don’t worry about me.” She gets up and hands Peggy the bowl of popcorn she was holding. “I’m tired. I’m just going to call it a night if you don’t mind. I’ll see you tomorrow at work, Peg.” She makes her way to her room in silence, but they both notice the tears that start to form in her eyes.

Steve turns to his girlfriend, his face still trying to decide between worry and anger. “I’m going to kill Bucky.”

“No, you won’t, sweetheart. They’re adults and this is their problem. They have to sort it out themselves.”

*

The next morning Bucky is woken up by what must be the entire population of velociraptors brought back to life in the living room. He looks at his phone, which mockingly informs him that it’s only 3:57 am. He tries going back to sleep, but he finds it nearly impossible now that mammoths apparently joined the dinosaurs.

He groans and gets out of the bed, ready to unleash hell on whoever decided it’s a great idea to wake him up at fuck o’clock on a Saturday. He can barely distinguish Y/N’s form in the shadows of the hallways, throwing a big lump of…something over her shoulder as she rummages through the shoe rack.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He demands.

“Looking for my running shoes.” She replies deadpan. “I left them here yesterday but someone thought they should just bury them with their own shit.”

“Why the fuck are you going for a run now?”

“I always go for a run in the morning.” She seems to have found one of the shoes and proceeds to throw a boot over her head, barely missing Bucky’s arm in the process.

“It’s 4 o’clock. You usually go for a run at 6. Why are you running at 4?! It’s still dark outside! You can’t go running now, who knows who the fuck is out there.”

“Well, I couldn’t sleep so might as well be productive.” She shrugs.

“Y/N, come back to bed. You don’t have to be up for another 2 hours. Come on.” Bucky slides a hand around her waist, making her stand straight, her back to his chest. “I can make you go to sleep, baby.” He whispers in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“No, Bucky.” She disentangles from his embrace and tries to push him away with a shove that is too weak to be believable. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what? Sleep?” Bucky laughs and has another try at grabbing her, but she just backs up from him until she hits the sofa, sitting down with a sigh.

“No, Bucky. I can’t do this.” Y/N shakes her hand in the space between them, and Bucky is suddenly wide awake, although refusing to understand what she’s trying to say.

“What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? Did you find someone else? Do I not make you feel good anymore?” He demands.

“It doesn’t matter.” She mutters.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Of course, it matters!” A small voice in his head draws his attention to the fact that he’s now shouting, but he can’t really bring himself to give a shit if he wakes up Steve or their neighbours at this point. “Did you find someone else? Is that it?”

“No, Bucky, I didn’t find anyone else, you fucking asshole.” Y/N spits, already fed up with having to justify herself for the past few days. “I can’t do this anymore because I can’t find someone else. And you wanna know why? Because there’s always someone in the back of my head who I keep coming back to, whatever the fuck I’m doing. The whole cheating shit with my ex? It was because I couldn’t give him what he needed, I couldn’t love him the way I should’ve because there was always this fucking idiot in the back of my head pulling my fucking hair and I’ve now just realised it. And you know what the best part is?” There are tears streaming down Y/N’s face and Bucky can’t do anything more than watch her, confused and suddenly jealous of this guy she’s going on about.

“The best part is that I thought I hated you. I thought you were the bane of my fucking existence, just to have it turn out I didn’t hate you at all. I’ve been in love with you my whole entire fucking life. It’s you, Bucky. It has always been you.”

Y/N can’t move, all she can do is watch how the sunrise light starts pooling in the living room. She can hear her heartbeat in her ears, blood draining from her face, as Bucky just stands there, as catatonic as she is. There’s a grunt and suddenly Bucky is kneeling between her legs, his arms circling her body. He presses a kiss to the side of her left knee and then one to the inside of her wrist. He’s never been this delicate, fingers dancing on the small of her back, his hair falling in his eyes as he looks up at her.

“I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise it.” He whispers.

Y/N leans down to place a soft kiss to his lips, as his hands come up to hold her wet cheeks. So this is what this all meant, he thinks, pressing his forehead to hers.

In the other room, Steve closes the door silently and climbs back to bed with a huff.

“Fucking idiots.” He mutters in Peggy’s hair.

“Told you they’ll come around.”

***

Taglist:

@myboyfriendgiriboy​

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes #reader insert #bucky barnes reader insert

[futurewriter2000]

It’ll pass

A/N: I’m really proud of this one. I think it’s really good despite the idea was really hard to write but I DID IT . Anyways hope you guys like it <3<3

PAIRING: George Weasley x reder

Request: Any one of the twins wesley x Ravenclaw reader. In which the reader has a passion for him from the first year of hogwarts and knows the difference between the two, but to hide their feelings pretends not to be able to differentiate them until one day they decide to play a prank in her and she angrily reveals that he knows that he is not the brother and describes the difference between him and his brother. I myself liked a boy who was a twin and did it so he would not find out jajaja

xx

Sugar, flour, and milk make the perfect combination of pale white mass just like his light skin. If you add three more eggs and four spoons of choco, you get chocolate brown mass, just like his eyes. You turn around to take the cinnamon and you stop to observe it as it reminded you of his hair. Well, they weren’t exactly of the colour cinnamon but no matter what you did, or which ingredient you picked, it reminded you of him.

You sighed and put the cinnamon down.

“ If he knew!” you turned around to face the house elves. “ If he only knew how stupid he makes me feel to think like this!” you groaned and realized they were all staring at you with their wide eyes.

“ Is Miss (y/l/n) talking of Mister Weasley again?” spoke the elf that beamed its way to her and sat down.

“ Unfortunately. ” you spoke and put your head on your palms, looking at the mess you’ve created.

“ Mister Weasley is a great friend of Harry Potter. He always follows him around but can be mean around Dobby.” he continued, starting to glare a bit.

“ Not Ron Weasley.” you laughed and lifted your head from your palms. “ George Weasley.” you spoke quieter this time, afraid to admit it.

“ I do not know of that Weasley.” Dobby wrinkled his forehead and looked at you with his wide eyes, keen on finding out more of him.

“ Well, he always roams the school with his brother, Fred.” you started talking while the elf listened. “ They are twins, identical in every way. To others but not me.” you simpered and started playing with your fingers. Your cheeks grew hot just by thinking about him, talking about your crush on George Weasley out loud made you feel all sorts of joy. “ Fred is the loud one in the pair while George is quieter. Don’t get me wrong, he is loud when he is with or without his brother but he’s calmer than him. They share the same dream, same ambition but George is always the one who looks at the consequences of their action. He also has rounder eyes than Fred. Fred has more narrow eye shape- and if you look at George close enough you can see a bit hazel in his eyes while Fred has complete brown...” you drifted off, your mind completely blinded by the smile on your lips. “ In Transfiguration, he sits right behind the desk where the sun shines through a window. I’m a row behind him but the way the sun sharpens his freckles- and you can see the lines as well. Fred doesn’t have them as much as George, maybe because Fred was always the more reckless one than the other. But-”

“ Miss (y/l/n)?” Dobby cut in and you looked up at him. “ Are you alright?”

You felt confused by his question, smiling while you asked him. “ Yes, of course, I’m alright. Why?”

“ Your cheeks are completely red.” he nodded and you put your hands on the burning cheeks. “ And there is a little spark in your eyes when you speak of him.” he now smiled, fully aware what he was talking.

You buried your head in your palms and got off your chair. “ Well, I’ll go off to bed because- well because I want to.” your tongue started to get tied and you stumbled out of the kitchen, leaving the house elves to clean up the mess.

‘ There is no spark in my eyes. ‘ you smiled, walking to the Ravenclaw tower. “ No, no, no.’ you continued but couldn’t help but feel out of breath more of thinking of him than climbing the stairs.

“ UGH!” you closed the door of your dorm and looked at the ceiling. “ Why him?”

---

It seemed so easy sometimes, to just close your eyes and imagine him and you, being more than acquaintances but when you open your eyes all there is, is just that.

The only thing you can do is get up, wash up, dress and go to class, waiting to see him.

And there he was with his brother Fred, scheming whatever they had in plan. The gorgeous eyes, the freckles, the hair,...

He looked, he saw, he smiled.

That was everything you ever got from him and it drove you furious to only receive that small portion of him when everything you wanted was him and you closer than this.

But soon this way of thinking erased itself from your mind. You didn’t see it coming, not for a long chance but they were masters when it came to pranking and joking, which to be clear was fun in games when it wasn’t too brutal.

“ What the hell Weasleys!” you walked up to them, growing redder by the second.

“ Good morning to you as well, (Y/n)!” George smiled innocently.

“ Oh, yeah right. Let me rephrase that.” you stretched a fake smile, the glare still present though. “ Good morning, Fred.” you nodded at Fred, later at George. “ George. How are you? “ but before they could reply, you cut in first taking a step closer to both of them. “ Let me tell how I am- OR BETTER YET how my little cousin is. She is CRYING in her room, not letting anyone, not even her roommates in because - oH here is when it gets fun- two identical gingers pulled a prank on her, EMBARRASSING her in front of her whole class!”

“ Oh, you mean-”

“ Shut up!” you pointed at Fred and the smile quickly vanished from his face. George smirked at when you snapped at Fred but you quickly changed that too. “ Funny is it? A Third-year being laughed at when everything that matters to a thirteen-year-old is not being embarrassed. She’s THIRTEEN, do you know how fragile a girl is at that age!”

“ Come off it, (y/n). We were just joking around.” said Fred, a bit irritated by your anger.

“ It’ll pass.” continued George, waving his hand and smirking at his best friend.

“ So you wouldn’t mind me kicking your arse, because that will pass too, wouldn’t it George!” you snapped and Fred beside him laughed.

“ I think you’re referring to the twin next to me. I’m Fred.” he wiggled his eyebrows, removing your pointing finger from him to point as his brother.

“ Aren’t I Fred?” Fred next to him wondered in a mischievous smile and smiling. “ Oh, nope. You’re Fred.” he pointed at George before looking back at you. “ He’s Fred.”

“ Cut the bullshit, Fred.” you glared but was immediately interrupted by their laugh.

“ I told you. I’m George.” Fred taunted and George beside him leaned on his brother’s shoulder.

“ I’m Fred.” George said, smirking.

But you had it. You had it over your head by now and by their stupid, childish behavior.

“ You filthy twats!” you spat out. “ I’m Fred. No, I’m Fred.” you imitated them and their grin quickly faded. “ Do you think I’m that dumb to not see the difference between you two gingers? Do you think I got into Ravenclaw for my stupidity!? Huh!” you were now bellowing through the whole corridor and was about red as their hair. “ The one with the annoying laugh!” you waved your hand over Fred and looked at George. “ The one with rounder eyes!” you pushed him lightly on the shoulder. “ The “first” one.” you waved at Fred again. “ The taller one.” you now looked at George. “ But Gryffindors will be Gryffindors, thinking they are the best house and that the others are just below! Well, guess what! I’m a Ravenclaw! And I can be braver than any Gryffindor, kinder than any Hufflepuff and more cunning than any Slytherin! But I’m a Ravenclaw and I am not dense to not see the differences between TWO GITS who think it’s alright bullying a Third year!!” you were now so close to George that the only thing keeping the two of you apart was your steaming breath.

But you stared at those wonderful eyes and saw the freckles that adorned his light skin. The only one who was in your mind though was just your little cousin, crying in the Ravenclaw tower of something those wonderful eyes, those freckles, that hair, and that smile has done.

So, you stepped on his foot with all your force and stormed away.

He was screaming in pain, Fred quiet until you were in a safer distance. “ The hell, (y/n)!” George took a hold of your foot.

“ Don’t you worry. It’ll pass!” you spoke angrily before turning around the corner and going up to find your cousin.

---

From all the people you believed would go that far, he was not one of them. To you he was flawless. No flaw, no mistake, no wrong. He was simply George Weasley, the kindest, bravest and the most handsome.

But knowing he hurt someone close to your heart took you from the clouds to reality grounds. So you opened your eyes, got up, washed up, dressed and walked down to your first class.

You walked in and you saw him with his brother, sitting and joking around as usual. He his head your way.

He looked. He saw. He smiled.

And it let a feeling in the pit of your stomach emerge from its depths. As much as you wanted to smile and wave back, as much as the you a few days ago would as you did for the past years...you couldn’t.

You turned your head away and sat down.

His hand slowly fell down from the air. He thought it was just a moment of anger, of something that would quickly pass. But the reaction he got from you today was the trigger for his guilt to actually become present. It started nibbling on him, slowly, every day eating away a bigger piece of him.

And the tables have turned.

He was sitting behind you in another class and his eyes were glued to you.

Would he not get your smiles anymore? Or your giggles and your laugh? Will he not ever talk to the person who has made him nothing but comfortable and happy? Will he leave Hogwarts with a weight on his back, knowing how wrong he did by you and your cousin? And what if one day he sees you and you won’t smile at him like you used to? Will he have to pretend that the two of you were nothing but strangers from the very beginning?

---

In the same way, whenever he was around, you felt a bit happier, a bit more yourself than when he wasn’t around. Now you knew he was watching you and you were afraid to move a muscle, thinking of doing something wrong or embarrassing.

And at one point, you could barely eat. So, you got up furiously and stormed from the Great Hall.

How furious you were when you knew he still affected you even when you knew how imperfect he was? Only God could know this secret. It almost made you cry at how deep your feelings for him clawed.

But then a hand grabbed yours and he pulled you around. Before you could react to anything, warm hands were on your cheeks and soft lips pressed on yours.

If he had any clue what he was doing, he wouldn’t be doing this. But he was going with his gut feeling and it was telling him to kiss you. To kiss you softly, compassionately and not to make the kiss too long.

He pulled away, looking at your reaction which was by now confused. You were without words- Hell, you were without a heartbeat. It was even more perfect than you had ever thought it would be with him.

“ I can’t say how sorry I am for what Fred and I did to your little cousin. But the more I tried to talk to you the further you walked away from me and the only solution that I knew how to get you, was by kissing you. “ he started and you only watched, your voice gone completely. “ I don’t want you to be mad for me kissing you but I’ve been meaning to do that for a while now. “ he smiled and you returned it.

“ You did?” your voice seemed to come back for only a question before disappearing again.

“ I’ve fancied you for a while now. When Dobby told-”

“ Dobby?” you furrowed your eyebrows at him. “ That elf!”  you squinted your eyes, remembering how you told him everything about your feelings towards George not only but a few weeks ago.

“ When Dobby...” he smiled, cupping your cheeks and looking at you with his sweet eyes. “ ...told Ron and Ron told me that you liked me, I felt even more horrible for what I have done to you and your cousin. Sometimes we do get carried away with our pranks but trust me we don’t want to cause any harm to anyone. So, please forgive me.”

“ I’m not the one you should be apologizing for.” you put his hands from your cheeks and held them in your own. “ But when you do apologise to her, you know where to find me.” you smiled and kissed his cheek a goodbye, your heart fluttering in your chest.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagines #fred weasley imagine #george weasley #george weasley imagine #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #weasley twins #golden trio era #draco malfoy imagine #the golden trio #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #harry potter 20 years #harry potter books #ron weasley #neville longbottom #the weasley twins #the weasleys #weasley

[prorevenge]

25 year reign of terror, a cane, and me sweet sweet revenge

We human will learn many lessons, in our lifetimes. Look both ways when you cross the street. Hot things will burn you. Don't pass out with your shoes on. But of all the things we learn, in our lifetimes, one stands out to me the most; it's the one's closest to you that will most likely stab you in the back.

This is something that I had to learn to hard way.

I've been in therapy for almost three years because of this horse shit, it really fucked me up. This is going to be a long and sad one, just be warned.

Some background

I grew up in a house with my mom, grandmother (GM), and my great-aunt G (AG); near the North Carolina/Virginia borader. My gm is the youngest of three sisters. AG is the middle child and great-aunt E (AE) is the oldest. I love both of my great-aunts, but my grandma is the scum of the earth.

I was her own personal punching bag from the age of 8 till 13. It only stopped because words like CPS and jail were being thrown around, by my doctor. No 13 year old should have the blood pressure of a 40 year old.

Now, you maybe thinking, why didn't my mom and great-aunt put a stop to the abuse. Mom was under Grandma's full control. She had some kind of dirt on my great-aunt. Enough to keep her quiet.

Too make things worse, I was bullied in school from 4th grade till my freshman year. By then I was tired of it all and tried to put a end to all of it. I failed seeing that you are reading this story, but sometimes I wish I didn't. (Story for another day)

Now on to the story.

Junior year meant thinking about your future, Junior prom, and all that BS. For me it meant that I was one year closer to blowing that popsicle stand. The one good memory I have my class rings.

I was told by my great-aunts, that I could order any kind if ring I wanted and they would pay for it. The ring I wanted was pretty standard, with one exception; I wanted my birthstone, a sapphire. As promised, I got what I wanted and it cost a pretty penny. The thing was my grandma wanted it. In her mind I didn't deserve something so nice. Trust me, she tried everything to get it and failed.

Graduation comes along and as soon as it's done, I high tail it to Virginia. I got a job and worked towards my personal goal, backpacking through Europe. (More on this later)

Two years later, my best friends younger sister was graduating high school and I was invited. After the ugliness of my freshman year, they became my second family. I worked in the families cafe and attended the oldest sister and my best friends graduations.

For the sake of the story os is older sister, bf is best friend, and ys is youngest sister.

The offer to stay with them was put forward to me, but I declined as I wanted to spend sometime with my little brother. "This was a big mistake." I was about to head out to ys's graduation party, when I have this conversation with my grandma.

GM: where do you think your going?

Me: I'm going to ys's graduation party. (By this time I had started wearing my class ring on a chain around my neck.)

GM: you aren't going anywhere with that.(pointing to my ring) We paid to much money for it, so you can lost it.

Me: YOU didn't pay anything for this ring. AG and AE paid for this ring.

GM: you aren't leaving this house till you give it here. (Head extended)

Me: oh yeah, you and what army? (As I turn to the door, I see mom blocking my way out.

Mom: hand it over and you can go.

Now the yelling and screaming starts. AG was also on the way out to do something, I don't remember what, but she puts a end to the fight quickly.

AG: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! Give me the ring and I'll put it somewhere safe, if it means we can go about our business.

Smiling, I hand her my ring and wait for to put it up; so we can leave. Grandma following and yelling at her, all the way to her room. All is said and done; we head to our cars and go on our marry ways. I don't come back except to take my brother to lunch a few days later.

On the day I was to head back to Virginia, AG discovers my ring is missing. she thinks she may have moved it, but isn't completely sure. She tells me "when I find it I'll send it by CJ (her son my cousin). I agree to the terms and head back to Virginia.

A month has passed and still no ring. AG is extremely upset and I tell her, "don't worry, it'll turn up". It turned up, alright. A friend had ran into my mom in a pawn shop, with the ring. He calls me and here is the convo, as best as I can remember.

Friend: hey

Me: hey, it's been a while. How are you doing?

Friend: I'm good. By some chance, did you ask your mom to pawn your class ring.

Me: WHAT!

Friend: I'll take that as a no. Saw her at ABC pawn on main, yesterday. Just thought I'd ask.

Me: That bitch is so Dead! Thanks for the info. I owe you big.

After hanging up, with my friend. I was on the phone with AG and AE. I was told that they will handle Mom and Grandma. They were going to order me another ring, but I didn't want one. I wanted payback, but was told not to do anything I would regret and let it go. AE put some money in my account and I dropped it, for now

Flash forward a year.

The bullshit of my ring has passed and I'm about to apply for my passport. Now, I hope you remember me mentioning my bank account. My mom set it up for me, when I was young. Saving money for a rainy day and child support payments. I continued to use it after I moved away. Her name was still on the account, but it was never a issue.

On one of my phone calls to my brother,. I mentioned my Europe trip. He told Mom, not knowing any better. Which brought on the next round of horse shit. It was this round that literally broke me emotionally and mentally broke me.

I had recently opened a new bank account for the trip. I was going to withdraw the money and transfer it to my new account. I hope that you can see were I'm going with this. When I go to do this, i find out that it's all gone. Close to $25,000 gone and I flip my shit.

I call the bank to find out what the fuck is going on. They tell me that I withdrew it.

CS: Sir you withdraw the money a week ago.

Me: No I didn't. I have withdrawn from my account in months.

CS: It says here you withdrew the money from 123 Adams St bfe, North Carolina.

Me: Wait what, I haven't been to bfe in nearly a year. Son of a bitch. (Hang up on customer service and called home.)

AG: hey sweetie, how are you.

Me: PUT MOM ON THE PHONE NOW!

AG: what's wrong, sweetie?

Me: PUT MOM ON THE FUCKING PHONE NOW!!!

She puts down the phone and in the background i can, just barely her "I'm not letting him blow my hard earned money on some foolish trip." (I should add that my paychecks had been going into this account for years. Entitled bitch) By the time AG comes back to the phone I'm in tears and in no state to talk.

After I got off the phone, I was a complete mess. My roommate comes home to find me curled into a ball, crying. I must have worried her, cause she was trying to console me. The why me? I wish I was never born and I wished I was dead; started.

It was finally official, those cold hearted bitches finally broke me. The crying didn't stop and I was worrying my friends and colleagues. Then I stopped eating. Three later my best friend was there and their was no knocking me out of it. It was off to the hospital I go.

A month later Im released and my best friend is staying with me, for a bit. I was over crying, past pissed, and my rage was coming forth. I was long past getting even. I wanted my due revenge. Didn't care how long it would take, someone was going to pay.

I eventually return to work, a changed man. I was starting over when it came to my trip. Lawyers were suggested, but the law was not going to do. I wanted 10lbs of flesh.

Two years had to pass, before I saw my chance. I hadn't talked to those two people, in two years at that point. Things had gotten worse, back home for AG.

Grandma was acting like her shit didn't stink, literally. She was now sitting in the living room pissing and shitting, where ever she sat. The house reaked of shit and piss. She was being a bitch to AG and AG's friends stopped coming by. By this point, even Mom had enough of her and something had to be done.

I come home from work one night and who do I see sitting in my living room; my roommate, CJ, AG, my girlfriend, and mom. Soon as I see mom, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" and walked out.

My girlfriend,at the time(let call her R) follows.

R: honey, I think you should hear them out.

Me: AG and CJ yes but that bitch gotta go.

R: my name

Me: NO

R: they are going to put your grandmother in a home.

Me: She belongs at the bottom of a six foot hole.

She seemed quite shocked I would say such a thing.

R: hear them out for me, please.

I agree and I'm told of what was going on. A agreement is reached and I will help move the old witch.

Two weeks later R and myself are driving down I95 to bfe. We take our time, as I feel a disturbance in the force. A shitstorm is brewing. After stopping for lunch, we arrive around 2pm. We just arrived in the eyes of the storm.

They had dropped the bomb on grandma and she isn't happy. We can hear her in the car. That's how loud the was screaming. It is then that my sweet revenge, comes to me.

I grab my phone and call non emergency. I informed them of the situation and say I'm worried about my grandmas health and safety, a car is on the way.

Here is the thing about the town we lived in. If the police are called; it's either going to be the county sheriff or the highway patrol that comes, depends on who is closest.

I knew I had very little time, so I tell R to stay outside and wait for the police. I walk in and see the witch; keeping everyone at a distance by swinging her cane.

I'm laughing at this point. She's got everyone scared of her. Guess what, I'm not scared. I noticed that highway patrol has arrived. (Gotta do this quick) I walk up to her and tell her like it is.

Me: Look, you waste of space. The way I see it, you have two choices. You can go to the home peacefully or I can drag your ass out back and put you down like old yeller.

She chooses option three. Highway patrol and R walk in as the handle of the cane pops me below my left eye. I take the hit and feel the blood running down my face.

It's on bitch. Grab the cane and say "your turn bitch", but before I can swing; someone grabs hold of the cane. Trooper sternly looks me in the eyes and says "Go outside before you are in cuffs too"

I turn to go,but not before I get the last word.

Me: Krama's a bitch and it looks like she finally caught up to you. Enjoy your time in jail, I Know I will.

She had hit me for the last time and I got to watch her ride away in the back of a squad car. I had finally gotten my revenge and all it took was taking a cane to the face, in front of a cop.

Afterward

I had to get stitches. She got me good, one last time. Left a scar, as well. I dropped the charges on the condition that she get some mental help, go to the nursing home and never speak to me again.

Mom and I are back on non speaking terms. Bitch brought a new fucking car with my money, so I put a cider block through her windshield after I found out. She wanted me to replace the windshield.

Me: why don't you just use the money that you stole from me, to replace it.

That is how I put a end to a 25 year reign of terror. Hope that you enjoyed my little tale of revenge. Like mentioned in the beginning grammar isn't my strong suit, please be kind. Oh and I will post some pics of Grandma's handly work.

Peace, love, and rock and roll.

(source) story by (/u/prettyfly4adazedguy)

#prorevenge #by /u/prettyfly4adazedguy #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

[robinrunsfiction]

I have a request that’s been stuck in my head for a while... what if shes best friends with high school basement Gerard and therefore kinda Mikey- maybe its cold-shes at his house and theyre watching Star Wars and he asks her to be his (and Mikeys?) kind of +1 to a relatives formal wedding.. so he picks her up on the way and shes wearing a stunning lace dress and Gerards like.. ho holy shit.. (1/2)

(2/2) and he #Realises so they stay close the whole night and his relatives are like.. how long have u guys been together and theyre whaaat nooo?? Then afterwards she sleeps over at his and it’s all so fluffy. Adore your writing Love!! 

Death of a Bachelor

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female ReaderRating: GeneralRequested by: AnonWord Count: ~1,400Author’s Note: Ok, so I made one minoradjustment to this and I’m gonna have this set when they’re more like college-age,just to make it fit a little better to the vision I have

“What is up gentlemen!” Youcalled as you entered Gerard’s basement room. He and Mikey were already downthere getting ready for your weekly movie night. You, Gerard and Mikey had beenfriends as long as any of you could remember and you were basically treated likeone of the family. Mikey even called you the sister he never wanted, whichalways resulted in you messing up his hair, much to his irritation.

“’Bout time, we’ve beenwaiting,” Mikey said with his mouth full of pizza.

“They wouldn’t let me offwork until the next guy came in, it’s not my fault! Besides, I brought soda andchips so shut up,” you retorted setting the bag on the coffee table.

“Thanks,” Gerard calledover his shoulder as he dug through the movies. “What did we say we were gonnawatch tonight?”

“Empire!” You declared as yougrabbed a slice of pizza and settled into the middle of the couch. Gerard sat downnext to you on the other side. He seemed like he had something on his mind.

As the movie played, younoticed Mikey had fallen asleep and you decided to get to the bottom of Gerard’sweird mood.

“Hey,” you whispered whileelbowing him in the ribs.

“Hmm,” he replied lookingdown at you.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Remember my cousin Jess?”

“Yea, she’s so cool.”

“She’s getting married ina few weeks, and she gave all her cousins who are out of high school a plus one.”

“Aww, poor Mikey has to goalone!” You giggled.

“But I was wondering ifyou wanted to go with me?” Gerard asked.

The question caught youoff guard. You and Gerard had spent most of your school dances hanging out withfriends at the movies or the arcade, not bothering with putting on fancy clothesor being subjected to the bad music. But the tiniest part of you regretted not doing the stereotypicalhigh school thing when you had the chance.

“Yea! That sounds likefun!” You replied with a smile.

“Seriously?”

“Yea, do I have to dressfancy?”

“Yea, so its ok if you don’twanna go anymore,” he said nervously.

“No, it’s ok, I wanna go,I wanna dress fancy!” You grinned.

“Ok, then we’ll go,” hesmiled back at you.

~

The evening of the weddingyou had butterflies in your stomach, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. You tuckedyour hair behind your ear and looked over yourself in the mirror when yourdoorbell rang. When you opened the door, it was Gerard. And he looked good.

“Wow, you clean up nice,”you said, feeling heat radiating up to the tips of your ears. He had on a nicesuit, his hair was freshly washed, and he even looked like he had gotten ittrimmed.

Gerard on the other handcouldn’t speak. You had found a black lace dress with a high collar and sheersleeves. The skirt that hit at your mid-thigh was a bit shorter than younormally wore, but with black tights underneath, you felt more comfortable. Youhad on black flats and your hair and makeup were done nicely, but not too fancy.

“(YN), you, you look reallybeautiful,” he stammered.

Your face lit up in asmile as a blush radiated over your whole face. “Thanks,” you replied shyly.

You both stared ateach other for a moment before Gerard remembered why he was there. “We should gobefore we’re late,” he said.

“Oh yea!” You grabbed yourcoat and made your way to his car.

You met up with Mikey and theirparents and found a spot in the pews of the church.

“Who the hell are you?” Mikey askedwith a smirk.

“Oh, I’m sorry, who isyour date? Oh wait, you didn’t get one, did you?” You sassed back.

Mikey rolled his eyes andsat back as the music began to play and the ceremony began. At some pointGerard started to get restless and put his arm over the back of the pew behindyour shoulders. You couldn’t help but let a smile play at your lips as you shiftedever so slightly nearer to him.

Then the part of the ceremonycame where the bride and groom shared their first kiss as husband and wife andyou couldn’t help but glance at Gerard out of the corner of your eye, only tofind he was looking at you too. You both looked away quickly when you realizedyou were both caught.

Once the ceremony wasover, the fun began: the reception. You and Gerard got drinks and found your assigned table for the dinner. Both of you had finally loosened up a little and wereback to your usual laughing and joking selves.

“Gerard dear, I didn’tknow you had a girlfriend,” an older woman said as she approached the table.

“What a cute couple, butyou’re both dressed for a funeral, this is a celebration! Maybe we’ll be atyour wedding next,” another woman said.

You and Gerard just lookedat each other with wide eyes. “Oh, no, we’re just friends,” you started.

“Yea, we’re not dating,” Gerardfinished.

The older ladies gave eachother a knowing glance as they moved on. The rest of the evening was spent with morecomments like that from relatives and family friends.

“I’m sorry you have to putup with this,” Gerard said quietly.

“I don’t mind,” youreplied with a kind smile. Gerard smiled back, when suddenly there was a flash.The photographer was going around taking photos of the guests.

“You two kids are so cute together,” he commented as he moved on. You both laughed nervously.

“Umm, wanna dance?” Gerardasked as he noticed the music had slowed.

“Sure,” you replied andtook Gerard’s hand as you made your way to the dance floor. He gently placed hishands on your hips as you draped your arms over his shoulders.

“Do you ever regret notgoing to dances and stuff in high school?” You asked to distract yourself fromthe fact that your stomach was doing flips.

“I didn’t, umm, until now,”he replied softly. You smiled back at him as you pulled yourself closer to Gerard,placing your head on his shoulder. He responded by holding you a little tighter as he rested his head against yours.

You danced for a while longer,and even Mikey came onto the dance floor when a fast song came on and you all danced like idiots,embarrassing everyone who knew you.

When the night was windingdown, Mikey left with their parents and you and Gerard headed back to his car.

“Shit!” You muttered whiledigging through your purse.

“What’s wrong?” Gerardasked.

“I forgot my keys and my roommateis out of town until tomorrow.”

“You can stay over,”Gerard suggested. You had stayed over with him before, but now things weredifferent. Something had changed tonight.

“Yea? Ok,” you replied.

You went back to Gerard’shouse and quietly slipped down into the basement. Gerard pulled out a pair ofsweatpants and a t-shirt for you and left you some privacy to change. When hecame back in, also changed into his pajamas, you were sitting on the couch.

“Can I borrow a pillow?”You asked.

“You don’t have to sleepon the couch,” he replied softly. You smiled, hoping that would be his reply. Youcrawled into the bed next to him and lay facing each other.

“I had a lot of funtonight,” you said.

“Me too, thanks for coming,”he paused. “You really looked amazing. I mean, I always have thought you’repretty, but,” he trailed off and you smiled at him reassuringly.

“Thanks,” you repliedsoftly. “You looked really good too. You were a really good date.”

There was a silence hangingbetween you that Gerard finally broke. “Would you like to go out with me again?”he asked so softly you almost couldn’t hear him.

You nodded. “Yea I’d likethat a lot,” you replied. Gerard brushed a strand of hair out of your face andyou leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

When you pulled back, hehad the sweetest, most surprised look on his face. You smiled and pressedanother kiss to his lips, and he kissed you back. When you pulled back, hewrapped his arms around you and you placed your head on his shoulder again anddrifted off to sleep.

Masterlist

#gerard way x reader #gerard way/reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction #Anon

[sloumate]

Hello my friends! Here I am, once again, with a recap of the fics that warmed my heart during 2018. It was a bit of a weird year for me, not gonna lie, the first half was very good (I graduated from uni, so there was that, yay), but the second half was a bit meh :\ i lost myself in the absolute uncertainty of the future and anxiety has been eating away at my soul. Both the fandom and fics have always been a safe place for me, but towards the end of the year i started feeling slightly detached from everything so it was a bit of a slow one, even fic-wise.

Angst aside, good fics have always been and still are the best way to lure me right back in, and for that, I have to thank all the authors mentioned under the cut: you’re all legends and I genuinely hope you feel as loved as you made us feel with your words.

A big thank you also goes to a group of people that kept me updated on all fronts, shared with me some of these gems and definitely made my year much brighter: @imlt-archive​, @pinklucozade​ (who also made the banner above, so thank you very much bee ♥), @moonloueh​, @louistomlinsonsz​, @mattbelloumy​ & @nouies​ ✨

But let’s get to business: here are my favorite fics of the year. They’re listed in chronological order and the ones that are marked with a ♡ hold an extra special place in my heart. Hope you’ve read most of these during the year, but if you haven’t, well, here’s a treat for 2019:

{ 2016 / 2017 / more fics here }

As We Were, As We Are by jaerie / @jaerie / 51k / ♡

Alex is a British soldier who has been injured in battle, Louis is a RAF pilot with amnesia. Somehow they put each other back together even if they get separated along the way.

Now In A Minute by thealmightyavocado / @avocadolouie​ / 150k

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for Louis it actually was. / Or the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

Try to not remember (rather than forget) by hereforlou / @hereforlou / 59k

Harry hadn’t left, not really. He had been right there the entire time. And that’s what had made it worse, knowing that his body was within touching distance but his mind, everything that made Harry Harry, was lost somewhere Louis wasn’t able to reach. He hadn’t left, but that’s what it had felt like most of the time. Just as if one day Harry had up and left him. / Or, the one where Harry wakes up.

A Study in Love by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings​ / 24k / ♡

Louis knows everything about everyone which has put him at a great and weird advantage over nearly all of them since the very beginning. He can solve any puzzle before most people know where to begin. He is rarely perplexed, mistaken, or wrong, and obviously, Louis is never ever surprised. And yet, his new flatmate after a very long string of failed ones has Louis questioning how he ever did any of it without him. [part 2 / part 3]

Chased the High by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel / 12k

Working as a fireman is a tough job. Being in love with your best friend and fellow fireman is also a tough job. / Or the one where Louis and Harry are both fireman and Louis doesn't know how much longer he can go on harboring his feelings for Harry.

When We Find Love by angelichl / @angelichl /38k

The famous/not-famous AU in which Louis lives in a house by the lake and doesn't know Harry is famous.

Take my hand and make the stars collide by tolvsmol / @rosesau​ / 15k / ♡

It all started with a few too many shots and ended with Louis drunkenly betting Harry to marry him – apparently “You won’t” is enough incentive for both of them, because now they’re at a rundown motel with a 24 hour chapel, and they’re giggling and kissing in the pews as they wait their turn. Except Louis sort of lost his buzz an hour or so ago, but he’s too afraid to say anything. Where does ‘marrying your best friend under false pretenses’ fall in terms of moral ambiguity? (Louis almost calls it off right then and there, until Harry admits he’s also dead sober, but… why not go home with one hell of a story anyway?) / or the one where what happens in vegas doesn't always stay in vegas.

Make Your Words A Weapon by HelloAmHere / @helloamhere​ / 36k / ♡

Louis is a music critic, Harry is a rockstar, soulmates are destiny but no one ever said destiny was easy, music is everything.

Simply Irresistible by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings / 12k

Louis only comes to town to start up a successful restaurant, but finds he can't quite leave once the job is done. Though, that might have more to do with him falling for his quirky neighbor than anything else.

Smoke & Mirrors by sincewewereeighteen / 59k

"What are we drinking then?” He asks Harry, claiming his place sitting on the stool by his side. “Tequila.” Harry replies. “Is this a good idea?” “Neither is sleeping with you, probably, but I’m going to do it anyways, so…” He hands Louis a glass. “Bottoms up!” / Or: the one in which Harry hates Louis, but doesn't know him. And then... He does.

Gonna dream of how you (tasted) by hereforlou / @hereforlou / 21k

The one where Harry needs a handyman and it turns out they have a bit of a history.

Loving You, It's Explosive by missyoubabycakes / 12k

Harry is obsessed with organization and Louis makes way too many jokes. Somehow, they're made for each other. / or Louis can't properly work because he's so in love and Harry just wants him to admit that.

Don't Let the Tide Come and Take Me by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou / 28k

The aquarium in the lobby has been there as long as Louis can remember, and so has the merman inside. That is, until the day Louis loses his job and decides to set the creature free. They set off on a road trip to the sea, learning to communicate more and more each day. Their destination is LA, but the closer they get and the more Louis gets to know the merman, the more he dreads having to say goodbye. / Or, the one where Louis decides to set a merman free and ends up finding his own freedom along the way.

Into The Midnight Sun by summerwine / @smrwine​ / 63k / ♡

It's 1983, Harry embarks on his first world tour and Louis is a budding actor in LA. Life spent apart isn't easily adjustable, but somehow they make it work.

Sun Means The Sky'll Be Blue by PearlyDewdrops / @curlsandlashes​ / 91k / ♡  

As the only singleton under thirty attending his cousin's five-day wedding, Harry is desperate to find a date, or at least a reason to get people's questions about his love life off his back. So when Louis, Harry's old uni roommate and fellow wedding attendee waltzes back into his life, Harry seizes the opportunity, pretending Louis is his ex-boyfriend and that it's a sore subject not to be mentioned. If it's a little bit closer to the truth than Harry would like, well, he's a master at living in denial. So cue a mess of trudged-up feelings, past misunderstandings, a rekindled summer romance and a whole lot of sexually-charged bickering.

Keep this love in a photograph by suspendrs / @suspendrs​ / 48k / ♡

“I could never forget a damn thing about you, Harry Styles, not even if I wanted to,” Louis says. His hair falls into his face when he glances over at Harry, the moonlight reflecting off of it and making it glow golden, like maybe Louis himself is the sun. Harry thinks of how dark and cold his life got once Louis went away, how Harry got a taste of the sweetest sunshine imaginable and then was plunged into the longest winter of his life. He feels like he’s been buried under mounds of snow for months, years, and he’s finally made it to spring, finally getting another taste of how wonderful life can be. / Or, it’s 1919, and Harry’s been falling in love with his best friend for his entire life.

Wild Love by purpledaisy / 130k / ♡

Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

Ain't That A Kick In The Head! by lesbianharrie, wreckingtomlinson / 22k

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

A Taste of Desire by casuallyhl / 104k

A Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

Tissue-thin lies by HelloAmHere / @helloamhere​ / 5k

Louis has a cold but he's FINE.

This Melody Was Meant For You by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings​ / 32k

The Marie Henry Conservatory of Music has been around for ages, and not once has it ever admitted anybody besides the traditional, classical music student. Or at least they hadn’t until a few select outsiders are let in to mix things up and to give someone like Louis a chance.

Loyal Knight and True by rainbowninja167 / @rainbowninja​ / 51k / ♡

In contemporary Oxford, Harry Styles and Niall Horan run a magical bookshop, unbowed by an entire academic establishment that insists magic doesn't even exist. Sometimes, Harry finds, it's much easier to have faith in magic than in himself. Louis Tomlinson is a classically trained poet who needs something to believe in, and Liam Payne longs to be a part of something magical. But when the lines between reality and fiction - poetry and magic - start to blur, can they trust each other to keep track of what's true?

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home by styleandsin / 43k / ♡

Louis needs a break from everything, from acting and the constant pressure of life in LA. He decides to move back home for a bit, some time with his family is exactly what can lift his spirits. What he doesn't expect is to fall in love. Both with the town he hated so much so that he couldn't wait to leave it years ago and with a curly haired florist that was the complete opposite of the guys he'd often meet in LA.

When the city shines (like the sun at night) by fondleeds / 37k / ♡

Love, Simon AU.

Oh, We're In Love, Aren't We? by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings​ / 30k / ♡

After sixteen wonderful years of friendship, it's hard to imagine any grand (and usually dumb) plans they haven't had or some type of mischief they haven't gotten into together. But, when Harry suddenly finds himself without a fiance and Louis just wants to help him feel okay again, they realize falling in love is one thing they haven't done, and that's about to change.

You came into my life by disgruntledkittenface / @disgruntledkittenface​ / 57k

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

The Second Hand Unwinds by FullOnLarrie / @fullonlarrie​ / 51k / ♡

Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

The Lonely Planet Guide to Second Chances by 1Diamondinthesun / 102k

When Harry and Louis broke up, the last thing on Harry's mind was the non-refundable surprise trip he had booked for them across Europe. Harry was supposed to be moving on, not sightseeing with his ex. In hindsight, touring the continent with Louis was probably a bad idea. So naturally, that's exactly what Harry did. / Or, the breakup travel fic featuring romantic sunsets, awkward bed sharing, and second chances against a backdrop of some of Europe's most iconic cities

Truth, justice, and the gay way by hattalove / @hattalove​ / 2k

Liam needs a costume. Louis needs a best best friend award, a holiday, and to get a grip. (Harry's just in the right place at the right time.)

I believe him when he tells of loving me by bitterlee / 28k / ♡

Louis doesn't remember Harry. Harry takes him home.

When the Sun Won't Let You Sleep by allwaswell16 / @allwaswell16​ / 30k

Four years ago, Louis Tomlinson left the UK to live on an Antarctic research station for reasons best left in the past. He’s carved out a life for himself on the ice and has dedicated himself to his research, his friends, and especially the Halley VI research station. He’s less than thrilled when he learns that Harry Styles, a glaciologist from another base who once broke his heart, will be coming to Halley, and he’s definitely unprepared for the upheaval Harry brings with him.

Take It To The Limit by taggiecb / 35k

Louis Tomlinson enjoys the simple life. He has his house, his family, and his friends all in the tiny town of Petty Harbour, Newfoundland. When he isn’t spending the winters plowing out the residents and keeping Liam and Niall company at Payne’s pub, he’s out on the open water doing the one thing that he loves the most, fishing. Harry Styles is a traveler. He lands in the tiny town to try to find himself. What he finds instead is a beautiful blue eyed man who seems to have everything figured out. But even a brick house can be damaged by a storm if it’s big enough. Can Louis’ perfect life and their relationship survive the tumult that’s coming?

What Our Souls Were Meant To Do by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings​ / 34k / ♡

All Harry’s father wants is for his son to marry as soon as possible and give their family another heir. All Harry wants to do is fall in love.

Where your lips land by BriaMaria / 12k / ♡

A love story told through Louis' tattoos. / or the Tyler Knott Gregson-inspired AU where Louis is a poet who lives in Montana and Harry is a photographer passing through.

Just call me inspiration by hereforlou / @hereforlou​ / 51k

The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world. / Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways.

Love Me Please by angelichl / @angelichl​ / 23k / ♡

Louis hates Harry, which is fine because he would really rather prefer to avoid him at all costs. The only problem? They're soulmates.

O' Christmas Tree by Justalittlelouislove / @justalittlelouislove / 15k / ♡

Louis has a busy schedule to keep and a daughter to raise. He definitely isn't looking for a relationship. Enter Harry Styles, a local Christmas tree farmer that seems just a little too good to be true.

For As Long As I Can Remember (It's Been December) by green_feelings / 128k / ♡

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet. Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

#2018 fic rec #hl fics #fan fiction #rec list #larry #larry ff #larry fics #ao3 #fic masterpost #fic rec #mine #ls fics #hl #fics

[pickalilywrites]

Love love love your fics

I watched The Last 5 Years and that movie gets me so heated. This AU is kind of inspired by it. Hope you like it ^^ 💖💖💖 

The Angel Next Door

Rivetra. TL5Y AU. 

2099 words. 

If Petra had the chance to redo her life, she really doesn’t know what she’d do. She fucked up her current one so much, she doesn’t know if she’d do any better if given another shot. In fact, she’d probably screw it up even more. Or maybe she’d just become a hermit and not do anything at all, which is pretty much what she does anyway when she gets home from work if she’s not running around preparing to leave for her other part-time job. Jeez, how did someone manage to mess up so much in one lifetime?

“Hey,” her roommate calls from the kitchen. She’s making some new ungodly concoction that they’ll no doubt have to throw out in the end. Petra loves Hanji, but there are times when she wishes her roommate would stop experimenting with their leftovers and just order takeout. “Are you wallowing in self-pity again?”

“Yes,” Petra moans from the couch. It’s what she usually does when she does get free time, just lounge around the apartment gloomily and think about how much things have fallen apart. It could be worse, of course. She could be homeless or dead in a ditch. There are times when she thinks those alternatives are better though. “Hanji, just let me have my pity party in peace, will you?”

Hanji sighs and walks over to her. She sits at the edge of the couch, reaching out to pat Petra’s head. “Oh, Petra. My poor darling Petra. You shouldn’t waste your youth feeling sorry for yourself when you have your whole life ahead of you. It’s the weekend! You should be going to parties, getting laid, getting completely and utterly wasted!”

She turns head away, burying her face in a pillow. “I don’t have the time, energy, or money to do any of those things anymore. I don’t want to anyway. I like sitting here and hating myself, okay? It’s, like, my favorite thing to do.”

Used to hearing this kind of talk, Hanji can only sigh. She wrestles Petra’s pillow away from her and smacks her on the back with it. “I’m sick of you rotting away here when you’re not at work! Where is the old Petra I knew? The one who wanted to turn her life around? The one who came home with a smile even if it was a hard day at work? The one who would brighten this entire apartment with her beautiful singing voice?”

“Well, working as a waitress kind of crushes your soul after a while,” Petra says, rubbing the spot where Hanji had hit her.

That and also getting a divorce at the ripe age of twenty-five really changes you as a person. Not that she ever talks about that. Well, she used to when it first happened, but now it wears her out just thinking about it now. She doesn’t want to remember the guy she spent five years with, putting her dreams and passions on hold so she could be supportive of his, or think about the women he cheated on her with. She doesn’t want to think about the house he left her in that she couldn’t afford, the fact that he left her with absolutely no money because he closed their bank account, or the letter that he left her when she came back from a visit from her parent’s house to find the house empty and all his things gone. No, she doesn’t want to think about any of those things at all, and she’s grateful that Hanji never mentions any of it despite knowing that they’re what make her the way she is now.

“And anyway,” Petra says glumly, sitting up and frowning, “the neighbors hate my singing. Remember that noise complaint?”

Four years of college and all she got was a degree in musical theatre. They should have just given her a death certificate when she walked up the stage to get her diploma. That would pretty much be the same thing, right? And now she can’t even sing because it’s “disturbing the peace.” She should have gotten in a degree in something useful like software engineering or graphic design, something that wouldn’t doom her to a life of misery and minimum wage jobs.

“Is it that weird guy who moved in a few weeks ago?” Hanji asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Probably. I don’t know. I get the feeling he doesn’t like me though. He always has this frown on his face whenever he sees me, you know?” Petra says. “And we didn’t get any noise complaints until he came. Is my singing really that annoying?”

Hanji wraps Petra in a hug, squeezing her so tightly that Petra’s sure her bones will break. “Petra, my love! Your singing is the most heavenly thing I have ever heard in my life! He’s a fool to not realize your voice is a gift from the gods,” Hanji cries, giving Petra a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, okay,” Petra says, laughing.

“Hey, there’s your smile! I was beginning to think you had forgotten how to do that!” Hanji says. She pinches Petra’s cheeks affectionately, stretching out her face into an even bigger grin. “I’ve missed seeing this!”

Petra giggles, swatting her friend’s fingers away. “By the way, Hanji,” Petra says. She sniffs the air to make sure, but there is definitely something burning. “Did you leave the stove on?”

“Oh, shit,” Hanji curses before running to the kitchen to turn off the stove.

At least they didn’t have to use the fire extinguisher this time.

She doesn’t see him often or at least she tries not to. Usually, it’s just a glimpse of him as they both fumble with their keys to make it into their respective apartments. He always has a child in tow, although she’s still not sure if the girl is really his because she doesn’t see a ring on his finger and there doesn’t see a ring around his finger or even a mark of there ever being one. It could be that he’s a single parent, divorced just like her. She really shouldn’t be nosy about it though.

Except she can’t stop thinking about it when life thrusts them in the elevator together and she can’t really think about anything else except the two other people in the elevator – the man who lives next to her and the child that’s always with him.

The child looks at her with large inquisitive eyes. They’re very pretty eyes, Petra thinks, and nothing like the man’s. Her hair is a dark raven black just like his though, making her believe that they must be related in some way. The child can’t be very old. Probably six or seven. She has a solemn expression that makes her seem older than that though, but she still has baby fat in her cheeks.

“Do you need help?” the girl asks Petra.

Petra’s so surprised to have the girl speak to her that she nearly drops her bags, but she manages to force a smile on her face and reply, “Ah, it’s fine! I’m used to this and they’re not really that heavy. Please don’t worry about me.”

“It’s okay,” the girl assures her. She’s already reaching for a bag that dangles from Petra’s hand. It’s the one filled with the strange herbs that Hanji asked Petra to get earlier. They’ll end up throwing them out in the end, Petra knows, but she never has the heart to tell Hanji no. “I’m very strong.”

The dark-haired man touches the girl gently on the shoulder, pull her back. “Don’t talk to strangers,” he tells her. He doesn’t even look at Petra.

Petra’s cheeks flush, embarrassed to be called a stranger as if it’s her secret plan to kidnap the child from right under the man’s nose. She turns to give the young girl a small smile to tell her it’s okay, but the child is glaring at the man now.

“She’s not a stranger. She lives next door to us. You know her.” Breaking free from the man’s grip, the girl steps closer to Petra before yanking the bag of herbs away from her. “I’m Mikasa. This is my uncle Levi. He’s really my cousin, but he’s old so I call him my uncle so my friends don’t get confused.”

Petra looks up at the man – Levi – who is scowling at his cousin. She tries her hardest not to smile, thinking that his expression is so silly and childish. “Well, it’s nice to meet you two. I’m Petra.”

Levi eyes her warily and when the elevator doors open – a sharp ping! to indicate that they have arrived on their floor – she expects him to run off with Mikasa, but he holds the door open for her and gestures for her to leave first.

“Thanks,” Petra says, surprised. She takes a step out and the two follow behind her.

“You live next door to us,” Mikasa says again. When they arrive at their apartments, Levi unlocks the door immediately like he’s ready to escape, but Mikasa stands there leaning against the wall as she waits for Petra to unlock her door, something that’s difficult for her to do since her arms are filled with the bags of groceries. “You don’t sing anymore though. That was you, right? You were the one singing.”

“Er, yes, that was me,” Petra says. She prays she doesn’t drop the eggs as she rustles through her purse for her keys. Everything seems to get lost in her bag these days. She should really clean it up more.

Beside them, Levi taps his foot impatiently. He hisses a quiet “Mikasa,” but the girl doesn’t move from her spot. He probably doesn’t want the noise complaint to come up in the conversation. It seems that Mikasa doesn’t know about it.

“Why don’t you sing anymore?” Mikasa asks. Her head is tilted, curious.

“Well, I had a noise complaint,” Petra mumbles, sighing when she finally fishes her keys out of her purse. She chances a brief glance a Levi, but he doesn’t look like he feels guilty. He still just looks like he wants to get out of there.

“Noise complaint?” Mikasa asks, her pretty little face twisted in confusion. Her eyebrows are knitted together and she’s frowning. “But your singing is so beautiful. Levi and I liked listening to it.”

“Mikasa.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” Petra says, jiggling her key in the door handle to open the door. It takes her a while to realize what Mikasa has just said. She looks at Levi and then again at Mikasa. “Did you say you both liked my singing?”

“Oh, yes,” Mikasa says, nodding. “Your voice is very ‘exquisite,’ as my friend would say. And Levi would tell me it was an angel singing next door. He likes it when you sing Disney songs the best, like that song Ariel sings in The Little Mermaid. I like Mulan better though.”

“Yeah, Mulan is a good movie,” Petra murmurs, staring now at Levi. She would wonder about who filed the noise complaint if it wasn’t him, but she’s too busy thinking that he looks rather funny when he’s flustered.

She had thought he could only ever looked disgruntled, but it turns out he can be embarrassed sometimes too. The tips of his ears are red, and his cheeks are flushing the same color. He looks just about ready to disappear into his apartment, but he has to get Mikasa first.

“You need to get in here now,” Levi growls at Mikasa. He takes the bag from her and holds it out to Petra who takes it with an amused expression. He hastily ushers the child into his apartment despite her protests that she didn’t get to say a proper goodbye. He’s about to shut the door behind him but leaves the door open a crack, popping his head out to mutter a quick “bye.”

She’d laugh if she weren’t afraid of embarrassing him even more. He might never show his face again. Instead, she smiles and says, “Hey, Levi.”

The door opens just a smidge wider and his face appears again. He still isn’t looking at her though. “What is it?”

“It was nice meeting you.”

There’s a beat of silence, but he finally replies. “Nice to meet you too.”

She giggles right after his door shuts. What a strange guy. But at least he’s not an ass who hates musicals. And he likes Disney too. Who would have thought? Hanji’s never going to believe it.  

#rivetra #petra ral #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #hanji zoe #tl5y au #modern au #snk #requests #asks #answered #anon #anonymous

[worddonor]

Purpose, part 1.

My search for purpose began with my search for truth.

I've always been asking why for as long as I can remember. Being pre-occupied with those around me has been a chink in my armour, one of many indeed, but one that has caused me to dig deep into finding a reason for my existence as I've always felt ill-at-ease on this planet (as if there's another planet I'd be better suited to be on, lol) that and years of inner turmoil, has led me back to the only place that could provide me with what I believe are the answers that align with the principles of the universe.

The owners manual for my life produced by the manufacturer of me.

The new revelations began slowly revealing themselves in earnest after having miraculously made it through varsity and attaining my diploma (taking an extra year to finish). I knew I had given as much as I could, but deep down wasn't completely sure I would make it even on the second go around - I had ticked all the boxes and showed up despite wanting to throw in the towel many times on projects (which is more than I could say for the previous year in which I had failed the core module). I was offered a room in a spacious apartment really close to campus with two other roommates attending classes at other campuses close by which I nervously took (I had been driving through to campus from home about 60-odd km's one way [around 39 miles] for the first 3 years).

In that time I had my Bible with me, received as a gift two years prior, which I read occasionally. What I did that I still remember now was giving thanks everyday in the morning when I woke up. It was the first time living on my own away from my family - I missed them terribly. When you're at the point of not knowing where to turn you tend to cry out to whatever's out there, if anything and for me that was God (the previous year I had been wondering if what I was raised to believe was complete b-s, reading alternative material and questioning life).

Always questioning.

What I believe made all the difference were the prayers I said every morning waking up there, the prayers of gratitude. I would wake up with knots in my belly, but after eventually wrestling my body out of bed, making myself some oats and coffee and while watching the morning breakfast show on the blurry box TV, I'd give thanks to the Lord for all I was grateful for. I truly believe it made the biggest difference, I made it through by the skin of my teeth in the core module that year (literally a pass on the dot) and did well with the other subjects.

After that my faith was bolstered, even if ever so slightly. The following year I took off having made the decision at the end of the previous year to donate a kidney to my older sister (she fell ill when I was in second year and spent the next three years on various forms of dialysis [there was a time we weren't sure she'd make it as a result of bleeding on the brain with the strokes she suffered that possibly caused the kidney failure]). A battery of tests were done to ensure I was healthy and met the criteria. When the operation was carried out I had just turned 25 the previous month, the minimum age recommended at that time.

The operation was a success, the organ was accepted which was another incredible faith booster though even after that immense blessing I found myself questioning who I was aside from an auxiliary being. I fantasized on the darker days about what it would've been like had I given up the ghost on the operating table and what a grand exit that would've been had I left then. I know, pretty gloomy.

To counter that: on an incredibly upbeat side note, my sister is doing so well six years on and the little organ is too - she is back to her bubbly self and her recovery: a true miracle from where she was and a testament to excellent doctors (of course), but even more so: the wonders of 'ridiculous' faith by her and all those praying for her. How could it not be the creator's hand?

Towards the end of that year after my recovery period the job hunt began that lead me to my first job the following year. The doubting surfaced again and I wondered if anyone would ever hire me after a couple of months of searching (self-doubt bru, avoid like the plague), I initially tried for an internship outside of my field of study (in something I researched briefly in high school that I wanted to try then), but wasn't accepted after the second interview round. I always seemed to get through when my writing was doing the convincing, but as soon as I was face-to-face: that's usually when the wheels fell off. I made it through the initial screening, got given a test project which they were satisfied with (which I believe was the main selling point), I made it to the interview proper (I left a tad early on the day [distance to site coincidentally 60-odd km's one way from home], followed the directions given to me, but stopped on the side of the road not far from my destination thinking I was lost [doubting again] when all I had to do was continue on the path I was on which I did and arrived on time) despite feeling like I had fluffed that too (and secretly wondering if I was the only one that pitched for an interview if they were offering ME the job), was offered the job so I took it. I was even offered more than I asked for.

Before the initial screening I prayed like a mad man and got to that venue on time, no issues and the lady was really friendly. While doing the project, I battled inner demons, but sent the project through with a few more prayers for good measure and got to the interview stage. Before the interview I said a few more prayers and even though my voice might've let me down - my work spoke for me and the Lord I'm sure worked His magic too.

My faith bolstered again as I, honest to Jesus, was literally doubting if anyone would hire me for any job after interviewing me.

Can you see a pattern forming? Lol.

Over the years I've been searching my soul pretty deeply (as the earlier posts and poetry in this blog can attest) while on this job and have discovered the things about it I enjoy and the things I don't. The lightbulb moments relating to my search for purpose started going off when I accidentally stumbled upon the teachings of a certain preacher and teacher by the name of Dr Myles Munroe. My father showed me a video clip of an interview conducted with him after it appeared on the news that he had passed away along with his wife in a freak plane crash, this was in November 2014. I researched him further and he revealed scripture in a new light to me in a way I had never heard before through his teachings, suddenly here I knew deep down were the answers to truth and purpose I had been yearning for and praying about for ages before I had listened to them. Revealing the analogies of an acorn and an oak tree relating to the Lord having created you with everything you'd ever need in your life to flourish already contained within you. And about the most valuable place on earth being the graveyard: the place where all the unfulfilled dreams and incompleted projects lie. To think all this wisdom came from a man I had never known about before hearing first of his death.

So strange, but in that the clues to what legacy is truly about - what will you leave behind when you die?

I digress.

The Lord's gentle coaxing and the events that followed thereafter over time led to me getting baptised on the 20th of March 2016.

2015 was a tumultuous year, with two people leaving in my department in the first half of the year, though saved by the arrival of what I believe to have been an undercover angel in the second half.

I must admit after coming back from an epic holiday at the top end of 2016, my interest in drawing closer to Jesus was further spurred on by my sister asking if I wanted to join her in becoming an official member of our church by taking weekly classes which we then completed.

This led me to make that official commitment that would kill all the doubt in my heart and mind I held for years prior about whether I was or wasn't truly a saved follower of Christ. I had always been so afraid before to do it, of making that public declaration, I wanted to, but kept delaying and used to beat myself up when I didn't act. The night before I decided and the following morning I felt a peace in my heart so I stuck to my decision through the service and asked my mother if she'd be willing to join me: it was only her and a few others also getting baptised present that day. She was in tears after. It's also a date I remember easily as it is an old varsity friend's birthday (she's a believer too, though I've lost contact with her and we haven't spoken since maybe 2012 - we were close for the time we were studying together - hope she's good wherever she is...).

That was a good year and got me bold enough to begin planning an overseas trip to see my cousin in 2017 in Vegas which I did (woohoo!). I even explored my writing more in 2016 and attended a creative writing course over a number of weeks offered at our church which got the writing bug going in earnest in me thereafter.

2017 wasn't without its hills and valleys with more deep conversations on lift club trips and more goodbyes as seasons ended and new ones began, some new faces descended on the scene. The year ended off on a high and my faith was built up even more as my prayers for each step of my planning for my trip took shape and I was blessed with smooth sailing there and back after numerous prayers thrown up, naturally.

The lingering questions and doubts were always there and still are. I never let my faith go despite its smallness and my church attendance became something I found hard to let slide and I became a regular after taking that big step two years back.

This year began with a few heavy knocks in quick succession though and these changes hit the hardest as the preceding months were some of the best I had ever enjoyed on the job since the boys club months of early 2014 (lol) after the first few lonely months of being the first person in the new department years ago. The best and most productive times were when there was a team. This seemingly long winter period since the mass exodus (it's a story, it could do with a touch of drama man) has brought with it some intense introspection and greater prayer and even fasting which I had never attempted before over the period of one month (initiated about 5 months back). When the awesome people left, I wondered what was left for me where I was - I agonised and still do question where to next for me. This time has brought me even closer to Jesus than ever before - I have found myself yearning so much I have even begun listening to only worship music and just a certain radio station and only listening to YouTube sermons (OK and some car vids - forgive me, those are still my secret passion). I've started to lean so heavily on the Lord I believe it's stretched my faith to the greatest degree it's ever been stretched as we haven't been able to attract new talent to the office until I got some news about a new person and some new ways of approaching our situation this last Friday.

All this leads me to some books I purchased a week ago today: first - Dr Caroline Leaf's "Think, Learn, Succeed" and another book I've had on my online store wishlist for a long time that my sister wanted to buy for me so I ended up getting it as well: Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life" which is the new expanded edition.

These books bring me to part 2 of this story...

#purpose #god #jesus #rick warren #dr caroline leaf #life #learning #searching #lbhj

[krissysbookshelf]

Enjoy An Exclusive Sneek Peek Of: Midnight at the Electric by Jodi Lynn Anderson!

  Kansas, 2065: Adri has been picked to live on Mars. But weeks before launch, she discovers the journal of a girl who lived in her house more than a hundred years ago and is drawn into the mystery surrounding her fate. Oklahoma, 1934: Amid the fear and uncertainty of the Dust Bowl, Catherine's family's situation is growing dire. She must find the courage to sacrifice everything to save the one person she loves most. England, 1919: In the recovery following World War I, Lenore tries to come to terms with her grief for her brother and plans to sail to America. But can she make it that far?  

LEARN MORE

  Chapter 1

From above, Miami looked as if it were blinking itself awake; the rising sun reflected against the city’s windows. Adri—in fuzzy extra-large pajama pants, her messy black hair pulled back in a rubber band—had pulled over on the shoulder of the Miami bridge. Her Theta had blown a circuit board and she needed to fix it. Now, she took in the view one last time: it wasn’t much, but she’d never see it again.

The sky lay low and gray over South Beach. The empty beachfront hotels lay dark, water halfway up their lowest windows. All along the waterfront, buildings stood stark and abandoned. Neighborhood by neighborhood, the ocean had crept into the city, making it look like a kingdom from an old fairy tale, like Atlantis disintegrating into myth. The morning’s mail drones were already buzzing above the waterlogged buildings below, swaying in the heavy winds but staying on course to deliver packages to anyone who was left: the ruggedly independent, the people with nowhere else to go.

Adri had been one of them until today; her entire life had been spent watching the city get swallowed by water. She wouldn’t miss it, but she had to take a deep breath as she turned back to the car. She gathered the papers and wrinkled sweatshirts that had fallen out when she’d stepped out onto the pavement and shoved them into the back. She carefully plucked a caterpillar off her windshield, sliding her fingers against it gently and moving it to the bridge rail. Then she started the car and set it to self-navigate. Her restless mind drifted to Kansas and what lay ahead. She opened her placement letter on the dash monitor and reread it.

Dear Ms. Ortiz, We try to arrange home stays for our Colonists-in-Training as often as possible, to maintain a sense of normalcy at a deeply transitional time. We’re delighted to inform you that we’ve located a distant cousin of yours (a Lily Vega, maiden name Ortiz, age 107) within driving distance of the Center, who is willing to welcome you into her home during the next three months. Please make your way to this address and await instructions. 268 Jericho Road Canaan, KS 67124 Sincerely, Lamont Bell Director

Adri hadn’t even known she’d had cousins, or any family, left alive. Her parents had been only children; she’d never known of anyone even remotely related to them.

She turned on the news, and when people honked at her to tell her Theta was trailing sparks (it often did) she casually gave them the finger. She leaned back in her seat to watch the sky through the big sunroof. She felt lighter the farther she got from the city.

The coast fell away, and with it, the flooded towns and cities. The ride was only twelve hours with the new interstate, and with a speed limit of a hundred and fifty, it flew by. Normally she would have taken the spare time to study, but all of her devices had been remotely disabled the day she’d received her acceptance letter. Colonists were supposed to spend their last three months focusing on what they learned at the Center in Wichita. Other than that, they were supposed to do as close to nothing as possible.

Only a week had passed since the message had flashed on her wristTab, releasing a spray of holographic balloons that spiraled up around her and away as her admission note flashed on the screen. It was a cheesy touch, but her heart had dropped to her feet anyway. It was the first time in her life she could remember crying. Everything she’d sacrificed and worked for since the sixth grade—the late nights studying, the relentless schedule of exercise, course work, and training—was going to pay off. Within months, she’d be one of the lucky few living on Mars.

The air turned colder the farther she rode. It was long past dark when she crossed the border into Kansas, and another hour before she exited the highway. Nearing Canaan, each turn seemed to take her farther and farther into the middle of nowhere, county roads unfurling darkly under a sky black as ink. The Theta began to make a loud, thumping sound. Around eleven, she switched the car to driver-navigate and steered it gingerly along. It was practically dead when she pulled up to the end of the driveway.

Adri gazed around; the place looked almost abandoned. There was a little white farmhouse with peeling siding and a small barn lot . . . leaning fences surrounding a large pasture, a bunkhouse (or was it a stable?) listing to one side. An ancient SUV sat in the driveway—one of the last of the great gas guzzlers.

Adri cut the power and blinked at a sign by the flowerbeds drying up for the winter. There were indications of life though: a series of purple plastic dragonflies lined the path to the front door and a tin angel with a watering can stood poised over a patch of daisies and weeds to her right. A little placard poking up by the path said: Come in, my flowers would like to meet you.

“Oh God,” she muttered.

She took a deep breath.

She turned her attention upward. The sky was closer here than it had been back home, or at least it felt that way. That’s where I’ll be, she thought. That’s where I’m going. In a way, she was already gone. That was what she needed to focus on.

She checked herself in the mirror. She looked like she’d just rolled out of bed, which was how she always looked. She brushed herself off and got out of the car, a few soda cans and empty wrappers trailing out with her feet.

A sign had been taped to the door, written in shaky handwriting.

Adri, I stayed up as late as I could, but I’m old! Your room is upstairs to the right. Can’t wait to meet you. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. ☺☺☺

Adri moved through the house in the dark, bumping into corners and staring around into the shadowy rooms before she made her way up the stairs. One room stood open and inviting: faded blue and smelling of mothballs. The lamps were all on, and a bright patchwork quilt lay across the bed, turned down at the corner. She looked around. There was something about the room that was off, unsettling. But she couldn’t say what.

There was no dresser so she moved back and forth across the room, flinging her pants and balled-up sweaters along the closet shelves. Lily had either neglected or forgotten to clean in the back, and the corners were covered in cobwebs that stuck to her fingers. Otherwise the shelves were empty except for an old crinkled shoe box. She opened it, finding a pile of photos and old postcards instead. Adri was notoriously nosy.

She moved closer to the bedside lamp and flipped through the contents. There were several photos of a woman she assumed must be Lily, some with a man who looked to be her husband, and some of her as a little girl. But most of the mementos were older, artifacts from before even her cousin would have been born: ancient ticket stubs from shows in the 1950s, an autograph from someone named Wayne Newton. One postcard was from New York City and very old—it showed a wide boulevard with people in hats and dresses strolling arm and arm, gazing into shop windows. It was postmarked May 7, 1920, and the writing was so faded it was close to illegible.

Beth— Arrived New York last night and making my way to you tomorrow. Galapagos in tow. Did you get my letters? Will you be waiting for me? Will you love her as much as I do? Love, Lenore

Adri did the quick mental math to calculate how many years had passed since 1920: a hundred and forty-five. She read it one more time, then put the box back where she’d found it.

Finally, with nothing else to do, she turned out her light and lay down. In the silence of the strange room, a feeling still nagged at her and kept her from sleeping. Maybe it was nerves about living with a stranger . . . and a stranger who was also— weirdly—family. She wondered what Lily would be like—and it made her think of her old roommate at the group house back in Miami, and something she’d said once.

“I really admire you, Adri,” she’d said. “But I have to say you’re not very likable.”

Adri hadn’t shown that it hurt her, but it had stayed in her mind. She didn’t know why she couldn’t keep from being too blunt, too standoffish and distant, a little mean. She’d stopped trying to change it years ago; she could never figure out how.

Growing up she’d watched other kids buddying up— everyone with their weird quirks and flaws getting along anyway somehow, forming some mysterious club she couldn’t penetrate. She’d think to herself, How do they do that? It was like executing an intricate dive.

Adri wasn’t a diver. If anything, she was a pickax, chipping away at each day. The next three months living with another stranger, even one who was related to her . . . she would chip away at too.

• • •

In sixth-grade astronomy, Adri had read about neutrinos for the first time. They were particles that traveled across space—from one end of the universe to the other, unstoppable and anchorless. They could pass through matter, right through planets and people and everything else. When kids talked after that, about what they wanted to be when they got older, the image of that textbook page always flashed through her mind.

Now she pictured the day she’d be the one launching off from Earth, unstoppable. She hoped the time between then and now would go fast. As she fell asleep, behind her eyelids she watched herself pinging across space.

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[circlesandsoundwaves]

“The record... feels like a series of letters to different friends of mine.”: Interview with Skye Steele

Interview by Molly Louise Hudelson.

Describing his music as “PsychFolk”, Skye Steele was born in Alaska, but- as his father was in the Army- he’s lived all over. New York City (which he’s called home since the age of 17) has always felt like home. But another place that’s always been close to his heart is his family’s cabin in the Bitterroot Valley in Montana, where he headed to write the songs that would become his latest album, All That Light (set to be released on May 26). Two songs have been released so far: “Back In The Valley” and “Stay With Me”, which you can stream  here.

Steele plays the violin and guitar and in addition to his own music, he’s also toured with Vanessa Carlton. Last month, I interviewed him when he had a few minutes between soundchecks in Seattle. Read on for the interview, where we discuss the record, what’s so special about the Valley, and why it’s important to get involved in activism!

CIRCLES & SOUNDWAVES: For the record, could you state your name and a random fact about yourself please?

Skye Steele: My name's Skye Steele, and I was born in Alaska.

C&S: Did you grow up in Alaska?

SS: No, my dad was in the Army and we moved all over the place when I was a kid, so I didn't really grow up there.

C&S: What's your favorite place that you've ever lived?

SS: Oh, New York City, really. I moved there when I was 17 and I had the instant feeling that I was home, I was where I was supposed to have been the whole time.

C&S: You're out in Seattle right now, on tour with Vanessa Carlton- how's this tour been going?

SS: It's been really good! We've got a nice crew- Tristan, who's opening all the dates, is super awesome. I'm opening a few of the shows also, so that's been really fun. Vanessa's tours are always a pleasure- I get to play violin, play some guitar, sing a little bit, I do a bunch of looping- I stay busy.

C&S: Vanessa actually appears on your new album, All That Light, which is coming out at the end of May. You wrote it at your family's cabin in Montana- why head all the way there to write the album?

SS: My aunt and uncle moved up there long before I was born. They were kind of back-to-the-landers; in the early 70s they moved there from the South, and built this little house in the woods. Some of their friends and them just got together and helped each other shave logs and they all built these houses and they still live there.

When I go there, my aunt and uncle and I all get up in the morning and have breakfast. They go off to work and I sit down and just write all day. I've been going to their house to do that almost every year for about the last five or six years, I'll go and spend a month with them and just scribble away.

C&S: And that's your "place"- you've been living in New York City for a while and New York is very busy and loud- versus [Montana is] somewhere that's a lot quieter, more peaceful in a sense.

SS: When I go there I carve out the time very specifically. I give myself permission to ignore the outside, both in terms of news and politics and in terms of my career goings-on. So I'm not booking tours, I'm not promoting anything. I wake up in the morning, my job is to sit with the notebook and the violin and the guitar and create. I have a very specific schedule when I get there- I'm up at 7, I do a little yoga, eat a little breakfast, write for four or five hours, have a little lunch, practice violin for three hours, and then my aunt and uncle come home and we have dinner together and shoot the shit and have a beer and go to bed and do it again the next day. So it's a very productive space for me.

When I was growing up, we used to go [to the cabin] every year in the summers to visit. I have two cousins who are almost the same age as me who I kinda grew up with and I have really close friends that I've known since I was a teenager in that valley because of that, and they're some of my best friends and closest collaborators. People that I've toured with and that have done artwork for my records and we've done music videos together and I've written music for their work- so it's probably the closest thing that I have to a hometown, really. 

C&S: Right, because you moved around so much. When you're out there, you said you really keep yourself from, essentially, doing anything besides writing- is it ever hard to keep that concentration and not do any of the million other things?

SS: Well, it helps that where they live out in the woods, I have to go about three miles away to do anything of any substance on the internet! But it's really such a gift, that time, that whenever I manager to carve out some weeks to be there I'm very hungry for it.

C&S: And then you actually recorded the album in LA- do you usually record out in LA?

SS: No, this is the first time I've done something like this! The producer on the record is Ben Cassorla and he's one of my closest friends. He lived in New York for a long time- we were roommates. I played in bands of his back in the day, he played in bands of mine back in the day- we've done a lot of music together [and] a lot of life together.

He moved out to LA about six years ago and he had just finished building this little studio out there…. I was on this Bollywood Tour and we had a few days off in LA and I had about 30 demos I had written over the course of the year and I was like, "Why don't we work on one of these tunes?". We spent two days in his studio and took this little demo of mine and just turned it inside out, into this thing that I was so in love with. I said, "Man, Ben, let's do a whole record- let me come back when tour is done and let's carve out some time and really do this" and he was game for it. I had been on the road pretty much full-time for almost a year... I drove out to LA and rented a room and spent like five weeks there and me and Ben just treated it like a full time job. We'd show up to his studio every morning and work until 6 or 7 and he'd go pick up his daughter and come back the next day…. We were really, really focused on making it happen. It was a real pleasure to do that, to work in such a concentrated way.

C&S: For sure. Where was your last album recorded?

SS: The last one I did in New York, and it was a really different project because I had this ensemble that I had been working with live for about a year and they're all great composers and improvisers so the song forms were pretty set but there were no set parts. Everybody was playing very improvisationaly. We recorded that all live, together in a room, so that we could capture the essence of what that ensemble was about.

This record is a total opposite of that- it was just me and Ben tinkering with every little detail and every little part and exactly what do we want this bass drum to sound like, exactly which synth sound we want at this moment, you know- really tinkering over the parts and just polishing everything up as much as we could.

C&S: As we're getting closer to the album, is there any track in particular that you're most excited to have out in the world for people to hear?

SS: That's a good question. We just put out "Back in the Valley" and that song to me feels almost like the thesis statement for this record, and it's been really fun to see people reacting to it. But there's another one "Red Cloud" that I don't think is gonna be one of the singles but it's very dear to me, so I am looking forward to people hearing that one. And a lot of these songs are written [about] very specific friendships and interactions so the record in some ways feels like a series of letters to different friends of mine.

C&S: Back in February, on tour with Vanessa, you started a project where you invited fans to write notes to their senators or their governor saying "You're doing a good job" or challenging them to do better- have fans been pretty receptive and open to that?

SS: Absolutely. It's been really lovely, actually- people are so anxious to engage right now and we wanted to kind of do this as a way to encourage that habit. It's almost less about your senator getting this postcard as it is us being out there saying "Hey, remember this stuff is important- remember it matters, remember you have a voice and you have to use it."

I keep telling people, democracy [and] the country belongs to the people who show up and unfortunately old, scared people have historically been much better at showing up than our people, so they get to run shit.

C&S: And a lot of musicians are getting involved which I think that's something that definitely inspires young people to get more involved and more excited, to continue the conversation of politics after the voting booth.

SS: I hope so, yeah. And it's been great, just the conversations that get sparking at the postcard table, cuz a lot of people will come up and they're curious- "Oh, I like that you're doing that", people say "I've never written to my senator before", "I've never called in before, I don't know how to do that"- well, come here. Step up- let's do it now. And you sort of break down that notion of, "Oh well I'm not an activist"- well sure you are; you just wrote a postcard, yup, that's it- that's a thing that you do now. You get to widen your definition of who you are.

C&S: What music have you been listening to lately- what are some artists you think are doing cool stuff right now?

SS: I've been on this Oumo Sangaré kick- she's a huge star, a legend, from Mali. I've been really enjoying the new record by Dirty Projectors and the new record from Laura Marling, is really gorgeous- I was just listening to that one today.

C&S: How do you respond to "haters" or anyone who doubts what you can do as an artist- how do you respond to that negativity?

SS: Oh, I don't know- there's just no time. The watchers don't mind- those of us who are out here doing it are the ones who matter. Someone just gave me this really wonderful little nugget [of information] basically saying, "Your job is not to evaluate how great or not great the work that you have to offer is. Your job is to recognize that you have a voice that no one else has and if you don't do your work, the world will never have it." I try to remember that.

C&S: That's a good thing to keep in mind! Anything else you want to say or anything else people should be on the lookout for?

SS: I'll say this- they should buy the record. I hope some people find value in it and add it to their lives and I'm looking forward to making the next one. This one's been two years in the making- I'm chomping at the bit to start writing again!

C&S: I bet, I bet! Well thank you so much Skye, I really appreciate it.

SS: Thanks a lot- you too!

 Thanks Skye! Be sure to keep up with Skye Steele on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and his official website. All That Light will be released on May 26; the album is available for pre-order here.

#interview #molly #skye steele #all that light #vanessa carlton #ben cassorla #cassorla #back in the valley #music #music blog #folk #psychfolk