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#amazing spider-man annual 1987
misterdtour · 21 days
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When Spidey Jumped the Shark, Pt. 9: The David Michelinie Era
When Spidey Jumped the Shark, Pt. 9: The David Michelinie Era #SpiderMan #comics #Marvel
The David Michelinie Era of Amazing Spider-Man was a lengthy one. Continue reading When Spidey Jumped the Shark, Pt. 9: The David Michelinie Era
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dirtyriver · 1 month
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X-Men Wedding Special, variant cover by Luciano Vecchio
Homage to the cover of Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21, 1987, by John Romita
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bestmusicalworldcup · 10 months
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2023 League of Musicals Alphabetized List of Musicals
Below is the full list of musicals in the League of Musicals sorted by Division.
Division A
Alice By Heart Annie Assassins Avenue Q The Band's Visit The Book of Mormon Cabaret Cats Chess Chicago A Chorus Line Come From Away Company Falsettos Fiddler on the Roof Firebringer Fun Home A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder Ghost Quartet Guys and Dolls Hadestown Hair Hairspray Hamilton Hello, Dolly! The Hunchback of Notre Dame In The Heights Into the Woods Jekyll and Hyde The King and I Kinky Boots Legally Blonde Les Misérables The Lion King Little Shop of Horrors Matilda Moulin Rouge Mozart, l'opéra rock The Music Man My Fair Lady Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 Newsies Next to Normal Octet Once Once on this Island The Phantom of the Opera Pippin The Producers Ragtime Rent Ride the Cyclone The Rocky Horror Show Something Rotten The Sound of Music Spies Are Forever SpongeBob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical Spring Awakening Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Twisted: The Untold Story of A Royal Vizier Waitress West Side Story Wicked The Wiz
Division B
25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee 42nd Street 1776 Adamandi American Idiot American Psycho Anastasia Applause Bare: A Pop Opera Beetlejuice Be More Chill Billy Elliot the Musical Bonnie and Clyde Bye Bye Birdie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Cinderella (Rodgers and Hammerstein) City of Angels Damn Yankees Dear Evan Hansen Death Note: The Musical Evita Fosse A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum Grease The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals Hallelujah, Baby! Heathers Holy Musical B@man! How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Jersey Boys Jesus Christ Superstar Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Kiss Me, Kate Kiss of the Spider Woman La Cage aux Folles The Lightning Thief A Little Night Music Man of La Mancha Memphis Monty Python's Spamalot The Mystery of Edwin Drood A New Brain Nine The Pajama Game Passion The Prom The Scarlet Pimpernel Singin' in the Rain Six South Pacific Starship A Strange Loop Sunday in the Park with George Sunset Boulevard Tanz der Vampire / Dance of the Vampires Thoroughly Modern Millie Tick Tick Boom Titanic The Trail to Oregon! Tuck Everlasting Two Gentlemen of Verona Urinetown The Will Rogers Follies The Wizard of Oz (1987)
Division C
& Juliet 21 Chump Street 35MM: A Musical Exhibition 1789: Les Amants de la Bastille Aida Allegiance Amélie Annie Get Your Gun Anything Goes The Art of Pleasing Princes Bandstand Beauty and the Beast Big Fish Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson Carousel Carrie The Color Purple Contact The Count of Monte Cristo Dogfight Dracula, the Musical Dreamgirls Elisabeth Evil Dead: The Musical Finding Neverland Frankenstein: A New Musical The Frogs Funny Girl Godspell Groundhog Day Gypsy Hedwig and the Angry Inch Jane Eyre The Last Five Years Lizzie The Lord of the Rings Love in Hate Nation Love Never Dies The Mad Ones The Magic Show Mary Poppins Mean Girls Merrily We Roll Along Miss Saigon Mozart! Oklahoma! Oliver On the Town Ordinary Days Parade The Pirate Queen Preludes Pretty Woman The Prince of Egypt Priscilla, Queen of the Desert Rebecca Roméo et Juliette: de la Haine à l'Amour The Secret Garden Seussical She Loves Me Shrek the Musical Starry Wonderland You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
Division D
13: The Musical Ablaze The Act Ain't Misbehavin An American in Paris Anne & Gilbert Anyone Can Whistle Av. Larco Back to the Future the Musical The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Big River Bran Nue Dae Bright Star Bring It On Calvin Berger Caroline, or Change Clown Bible Crazy for You De 3 Biggetjes The Dolls of New Albion Dorian Gray The Drowsy Chaperone The Fantasticks Fiorello! Fly by Night Follies Frankenstein (Wang Yeon Beom + Brandon Lee) Hans Christian Andersen Hoy no me puedo levantar In Transit Jagged Little Pill Jerome Robbins' Broadway Kimberly Akimbo King's Table Kismet Lady Bess La Légende du roi Arthur Le Passe-Muraille / Amour Le Roi Soleil Les Parapluies de Cherbourg The Light in the Piazza Made in Dagenham Magic Tree House: The Musical Mentiras el musical Notre-Dame de Paris Once Upon A Mattress On Your Feet! The Story of Emilio & Gloria Estefan Phantom (Yeston & Kopit) Raisin Redhead Sarafina! School of Rock The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1964) Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Show Boat Sidd Siete veces adios Soldaat van Oranje The Spitfire Grill Starlight Express Starmania / Tycoon Tarrytown The Threepenny Opera / Die Dreigroschenoper Timéo Wiedzmin The Wild Party (Lippa) The Woman in White Wonderful Town [title of show] Émilie Jolie
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pulpsandcomics2 · 2 years
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The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21     September 1987
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spinxeret · 1 year
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+ ( It's an important date ! Why ? Because it's these two love-birds' 36th wedding anniversary ! Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 was released today in 1987. )
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keycomicbooks · 2 months
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Web of #SpiderMan #11 (1986), Web of Spider-Man #26 (1987), The Amazing Spider-Man #56 #MarvelVsAlien Cover, The Amazing Spider-Man #93 (2022), AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #185 (1978), AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #203 (1980), #SuperiorSpiderman #3 (2013), Superior Spider-man #17 (2013), Superior Spider-man #25 (2014) J. G. Jones Variant, Superior Spider-man Annual #2 (2014), The Amazing Spider-Man #23 (2017) Regular #AlexRoss Cover, Spider-Man and the #FantasticFour #2, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #6 (2019), Spider-Man #7 (2023), Spider-Man #1 (2019), Peter Parker Spider-Man Annual 1999 https://rarecomicbooks.fashionablewebs.com/
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ebooksreadernow · 1 year
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Download Now Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) BY : Peter David
(Download) in PDF Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) By Peter David
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Ebook PDF Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) | EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOAD If you want to download free Ebook, you are in the right place to download Ebook. Ebook/PDF Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) DOWNLOAD in English is available for free here, Click on the download LINK below to download Ebook After You 2020 PDF Download in English by Jojo Moyes (Author).
Download Link : [Downlload Now] Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17)
Read More : [Read Now] Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17)
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Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson are getting married! But Kraven the Hunter is going to make sure the wall-crawler ends up six feet under ? literally! It begins with an all-time classic encounter with Wolverine that changes Spidey?s life forever, leading to the death of one of his best friends! In the wake of tragedy, Peter pops the question ? but the honeymoon is short-lived, as Kraven goes to extreme lengths to prove himself superior to his greatest foe! As one of comics? most introspective, psychological sagas ever unfolds, the Hunter will learn that it?s one thing to defeat Spider-Man ? but another to expect him to stay down! COLLECTING:?Amazing Spider-Man (1963) 289-294; Amazing Spider-Man Annual (1964) 20-21; Spider-Man vs. Wolverine (1987) 1; Web of Spider-Man (1985) 29-32; Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man (1976) 131-132 ?
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ebookcolections · 1 year
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Download Now Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) BY : Peter David
(Download) in PDF Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) By Peter David
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Ebook PDF Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) | EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOAD If you want to download free Ebook, you are in the right place to download Ebook. Ebook/PDF Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17) DOWNLOAD in English is available for free here, Click on the download LINK below to download Ebook After You 2020 PDF Download in English by Jojo Moyes (Author).
Download Link : [Downlload Now] Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17)
Read More : [Read Now] Kraven's Last Hunt (Amazing Spider-Man Epic Collection, #17)
Description
Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson are getting married! But Kraven the Hunter is going to make sure the wall-crawler ends up six feet under ? literally! It begins with an all-time classic encounter with Wolverine that changes Spidey?s life forever, leading to the death of one of his best friends! In the wake of tragedy, Peter pops the question ? but the honeymoon is short-lived, as Kraven goes to extreme lengths to prove himself superior to his greatest foe! As one of comics? most introspective, psychological sagas ever unfolds, the Hunter will learn that it?s one thing to defeat Spider-Man ? but another to expect him to stay down! COLLECTING:?Amazing Spider-Man (1963) 289-294; Amazing Spider-Man Annual (1964) 20-21; Spider-Man vs. Wolverine (1987) 1; Web of Spider-Man (1985) 29-32; Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man (1976) 131-132 ?
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browsethestacks · 4 years
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Spider-Man: The Wedding / The Honeymoon (1987)
Art by John Romita
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cryptocollectibles · 6 years
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Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 (June 1987) by Marvel Comics
At long last wedding bells ring for Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson.  Written by Jim Shooter and David Michelinie, drawn by Paul Ryan and Vince Colletta, cover by John Romita Sr.
- Buy this comic book with Bitcoin and many other cryptocurrencies at the Crypto Collectibles store on OpenBazaar - Buy this comic with other forms of payment on the Crypto Collectibles Etsy store -  
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thebibliomancer · 4 years
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Essential Avengers: King-Size Annual Amazing Spider-Man #16: “Who’s That Lady?”
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October, 1982
In case you wondered why I would keep titling my posts Essential Avengers: Avengers its because sometimes the thing after the colon won’t be Avengers.
Maybe I should have titled this liveblog something else but I’m in too deep.
This sure is a fun, striking cover featuring an all-new, all-different, and all-terrific Captain Marvel.
Memorable.
You may not remember who Captain Marvel is. He has come up a couple times in Avengers but in modern times, ‘he’ is not going to connect intuitively with Captain Marvel, especially now that Marvel has won the long tug-of-war with DC.
Here’s some courtesy links to the time the Avengers crossed into the Thanos War storyline from the Captain Marvel book.
But the long story short is that Captain Marvel was invented to trademark squat the name Captain Marvel, was a Kree captain who went against his people to help Earth, became a super saiyan, fought Thanos a bunch, got cancer, and died. In fact, he died February 1982 so its fairly recent that Marvel killed him off but since they still want to trademark squat, they need another Captain Marvel.
Hence, this.
And I’m very excited about this hence.
So, I’ve read a couple of Spider-Man annuals included in trades or as singles over the years and its interesting how often they are used to promote a new character. Spider-Man is the ultimate hype man.
So the ultimate hype man is at a bus station as the captions tell us how amazing he is, when his spider-sense goes squiggle lines to a perfectly normal woman walking past.
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And the issue title and Peter are both like “Who’s That Lady?”
Peter’s second thought is how hot she is because... eh, he doesn’t get married until 1987.
Peter Parker: “Wow! I’ve never seen anyone like her before... not in the port authority bus terminal! She’s... stunning! Yeah... so why am I getting a spider-sense tingle from her? I can’t believe that she’d present any sort of threat... but my spider-sense never reacted to out-and-out beauty before!”
And since he has fifteen spare minutes until his Good Pals Liz and Hary Osborn’s bus shows up, he decides to stalk her a little. Y’know. For the public safety??
Geez.
He also sees that she’s going into a Bad Neighborhood and throws in a little victim blame, why not.
Peter: “Whoops! She’s definitely an out-of-towner! Native New Yorkers know better than to stroll through this neighborhood -- especially dressed as well as she is! She’s practically asking to be mugged!”
But since (and this may come as a surprise to you) mild-mannered Peter Parker is in fact, the Amazing Spider-Man, he darts into an alley to change into his spider-jammies and play guardian angel.
Of course, the instant he goes to change clothes is the instant that a pair of individuals accost the mysterious woman.
The one who looks like Kisuke Urahara fallen on hard times grabs her purse and runs off. Mysterious Woman gives chase because hey, that’s her purse you creep!
But it was a weird ruse to lure her away to a more secluded area and guy two grabs the Mysterious Woman.
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So she flips him over her back and hits the purse snatcher with him.
I’m liking where this is going.
Guy Two, aka Mojo but not that one, decides maybe a knife will make Mysterious Woman be more pliant.
So Mysterious Woman dodges the knife thrust and then kicks the shit out of Mojo.
I’m continue to liking where this is going.
Guy one (Scud) decides that not getting beaten up is the better part of valor and takes off.
Right into Spider-Man’s fist.
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Ah, excellent. Every uppanced has come.
Spider-Man notices that Mysterious Woman is making his spider-sense buzz harder than ever and decides that instead of lurking, he should just come right out and ask her deal.
By which he means jump out from behind her and suddenly start talking because taking people by surprise is always a good idea.
Anyway, the Mysterious Woman assumes that Spider-Man was Scud and on instinct swivels around and does him a shove. A really hard shove into a pile of garbage that knocks him senseless.
“It happens in a split second! Even before Spider-Man’s feet can touch the ground... even as his special senses tell him that he’s made a serious mistake... a sudden burst of pure force sends him flying.”
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Goes to show. Don’t sneak up on people? Yeah, probably.
Mysterious Woman is like oh shit I just knocked out Spider-Man god damn I gotta get my power under control.
Then she CHOOMs her pantsuit into oblivion and reveals that she was dressed in layers with a more super-something outfit underneath.
Which is impressive considering that her outfit has some kind of wings/cape that go from the back to the arms that would not have fit under the pantsuit jacket. And also the boots probably wouldn’t have fit under the heels.
All in all, this may be the greatest display of power so far.
She does have to put on the mask/cowl and gloves because there’s not much of a way for those to have fit underneath.... her skin?
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The wing/cape also has a pocket which means its also practical.
Nice.
So Spider-Man comes to musing that maybe he shouldn’t leap right at someone his spider-sense is telling him is dangerous.
And then the Mysterious Woman takes off from the alley with a KLA-BOOM - seemingly turning into a bolt of lightning and lighting up the sky over the Empire State Building.
Spider-Man: “Who am I up against here? And do I really want to find out?”
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That’s a pretty striking costume.
The white and black contrast nice and the nova burst icon looks rad.
Not a fan of masks that don’t cover up much of anything. At that point you may as well not wear one? And the cape doesn’t make much sense for her powers? But it also has a pocket for her keys so and cash which makes it practical so I guess it balances out.
But overall its striking and memorable.
So up on the Empire State Building, this Mysterious Woman introduced as Captain Marvel so I can drop the pretense and start calling her Captain Marvel and hey wait the cover said Captain Marvel too, I’ve lived a sham.
But Captain Marvel muses about how big New York is compared to New Orleans and leans right into the flashback zone, because its time for the all-new all-different all-terrific Captain Marvel’s entire origin.
Just jammed right into the middle of this annual.
Lt. Monica Rambeau worked as one of New Orleans’ harbor patrol.
And in this flashback zone, she was just passed up for promotion and is unhappy about it. According to her, she was better than any of the people chosen and thinks that she was passed up because she’s a woman.
The Harbormaster says that Actually Its Because You’re a Loose Cannon and Doesn’t Do Things By the Book and also how dare you accuse him of sexism, gtfo of his office.
Harbor patrol is basically like boat cops, right?
At least he didn’t ask for her gun and badge.
Monica stomps back to her office, which I guess she has despite being a lieutenant. Good on her!
Professor Andre LeClare, a war buddy of Monica’s grandfather, is waiting for her in her office to ask for help.
In the advanced physics field Professor LeClare is considered a bit of a crackpot and only one man ever listened to his theories. A Generalissimo Ernesto Ramirez, a South American dictator.
In hindsight, LeClare acknowledges that maybe he didn’t do due diligence before accepting a job from a dictator but he was the only one who offered to fund his research.
Professor LeClare had discovered a way from drawing energy from other universes and dimensions (which I vaguely remember as the plot of an Asimov novel) but whoops, the actual dictator wants to weaponize it.
LeClare flees the Vague South American Country after failing to dissuade Ramirez but the dictator is undaunted and gets LeClare’s former assistant Felipe Picaro to continue the work on an old oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.
Professor LeClare told the American government but nobody believed him. But if the weapon is completed it “will make the atomic bomb look like a wet match.”
Which: good lord.
Monica can understand why its hard to believe because she can barely believe it herself.
She’d also like to know what the professor even expect from her.
Professor LeClare: “Frankly, I’m not sure. I was hoping you could think of some way to convince the authorities. I had heard that you tend to approach things in a less orthodox manner than most.”
Monica, toasting with her Monica mug: “You’re not the only one who’s made that observation. Hmm... maybe I can think of something. After all, I have tomorrow off... and it is the least I could do for an old friend of the family.”
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Seriously, that’s a cool mug, Monica.
The next morning, Monica takes LeClare out on a borrowed boat to go investigate the oil rig.
She’s going to investigate while the professor, and she is very clear on this, stays hidden on the boat.
Monica is a bit out of her depth here (nautical pun) because she doesn’t actually believe the professor, doesn’t have any jurisdiction out in the middle of the gulf, and even if she did doesn’t have any official backing from her boat cop boss. But she figures it won’t hurt to humor the old man.
Said old man also salutes her and calls her “mon capitaine” when she tells him to hide on the boat.
When she boats up to the oil rig, many armed guards politely tell her that this is private property and she needs to kindly gtfo.
But Monica has a secret weapon. You may have heard that she’s unorthodox and doesn’t do things by the book.
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Her secret weapon is a winning smile but also a bikini.
Not only are all the guards ready to go ‘hey security isn’t as important as a woman in a bikini’ so is Dr. Picaro, the guy in charge on the rig.
Lets see Genis manage that.
So she manages to get a picnic with head honcho Picaro. Although he’s a creepy and stares a lot. But when she’s trying to sweet-talk him into spilling many of the beans, an intruder alarm goes off.
Guess who didn’t listen to the explicit instructions to stay on the boat, snuck onto the oil rig, tried to sabotage the project, and got caught?
Did you guess Professor LeClare? Because it was Professor LeClare.
Picaro is tickled to see his old boss here.
LeClare: “Picaro, you mustn’t use this device! You don’t understand the forces involved!”
Picaro: “I understand perfectly, LeClare! My energy disruptor, powered by the fruits of your theory, can totally obliterate any city within 200 miles!”
This shit is why Reed Richards is useless. You invent something useful like a device that steals energy from another universe and some asshole rolls in and goes ‘okay but can I make people explode with it?’
Wakanda invents the cure for cancer in a widely unpopular move, looks at the Marvel universe, and goes ‘someone is definitely going to try to turn this into a weapon, smh.’
Picaro is so drunk on his own hype that he decides he might as well do the first test here and now. And by here I mean Fort Benning, Georgia and by do the first test I mean wipe it off the map.
I feel like even if you had a new super-weapon effective enough to make the atomic bomb look like a wet match, this isn’t a very strategic way to use it.
But that’s why they call it mad with power, not reasonable with power.
Monica has bit by bit started to believe the professor and at this point it doesn’t matter whether she thinks any of this is possible as long as Picaro does.
So she elbow shoves him out of the way and punches the machine to death.
Because Monica Rambeau.
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Of course it explodes.
That’s the natural reaction to being punched by Monica Rambeau.
Good thing this wasn’t an active oil rig!
Back in New Orleans, a streak of light strikes a wharf and turns into Monica Rambeau.
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She staggers around the wharf in a daze, dizzy and finding it hard to think, but knowing she has to find help for the professor. Who may or may not have just been in an explosion.
She bangs on a... I don’t know. Some kind of storeroom or something. And bangs on the locked door, looking for help. She feels that she needs to get inside.
And the next thing she knows she’s somehow inside, without, to her best knowledge, interacting at all with the door.
Kinda mysterious. But she explicitly decides to worry about that later. She spots a radio and decides to broadcast a mayday on naval frequencies.
She doesn’t notice that the radio is unplugged and not really connected to anything.
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And in fairness, reality doesn’t notice either.
Some energy suffuses the microphone and broadcasts her mayday message to a boat out in the Gulf of Mexico. The radio operator acknowledges the mayday and wonders what kind of power the sender was using because it came across too loud too clear.
Hmmm. What a mysterious happening.
Could Monica have, through being caught in a lab accident, gained amazing and spectacular powers?
Why, of course!
What genre do you think you’re reading?
With the message sent out, Monica spares some time to worry about what the heck that happened to her and realize that wow its cold in here in just a swimsuit!
Luckily, the random building is a storage warehouse with racks of costumes left over from Mardi Gras! What luck!
Of course, Mardi Gras. Most of it is less than she’s already wearing.
But she manages to combine parts of several outfits into one combined outfit. And even puts on a mask to spare herself the embarrassment of being spotted dressed like this!
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I like that her costume is literally just something she threw together. Although I now have to wonder what the original outfits she scavenged from were like.
Actually, what I really like is that her original goal was to find something warm to wear. But she has superpowers now so has a superhero brain and superhero brain says ‘costume.’
So Monica puts on a superhero costume, even though she just wanted some pants.
Now dressed, she wanders out into the wharf and notices bolts of energy shooting up into the sky from the direction of the oil rig.
Worried about the professor, Monica manages to transport herself in a bolt of light to the oil rig.
These are some user friendly powers.
When Monica arrives she finds a bunch of already unconscious guards strewn about the landing pad.
She runs into the oil rig just in time to see Picaro shoot the professor.
Dang.
Picaro: “This is your fault, LeClare! You must have sabotaged my disruptor panel! It was perfect... you hear, perfect!!”
Well. He was trying to sabotage it. You might have a point.
Monica kicks Picaro to get him to drop the gun and then rushes over to Professor LeClare.
She wants to get him to safety but LeClare tells her that no place is safe now.
LeClare: “Felipe... wouldn’t listen! The power was too unstable. Energy is flooding in from another universe. Breaking down the wall between worlds. The hole in the air... is getting bigger! Within a day, it will be planet-sized! And then, both universes will smash into each other. We are doomed!”
Monica wonders whether this would have happened anyway or whether, y’know, punching the experimental physics machine had any negative effects.
Who can say!
Monica ponders how you plug a hole in nothing. Right before the space-time hole sucks her in and jams her in like a cork in a vacuum cleaner.
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But its working, somehow, for some reason! The hole is sealing up around her! Science!
Hurts like the dickens though.
And its probably going to crush her as it closes. Which isn’t ideal.
It’d create a time paradox, for one thing. We’re in flashback country still.
Picaro decides that with a strange woman stuck in a space-time whatsit, now is the best time to shoot the professor AGAIN just in case he wasn’t bleeding to death hard enough.
Monica rushes to stop this. Turning into energy quick as lightning and intercepting the bullet.
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She can do this.
And blasting free of the dimensional hole also sealed it shut.
AND she disintegrates Picaro’s gun, shocking him senseless in the process.
That’s what I call a win-win-win. Good job, Monica!
She decides to leave him and the others on the oil rig to international law when the navy arrives. She grabs the professor and takes him away to get patched up.
One of the soldiers, barely conscious mumbles something to himself as he watches them go.
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Soldier with a mustache: “<Captain? H-he called her his captain! But she saved us... hah-ha-ha... saved... hah-ha... all of us!> Capitan est maravilla... est maravilla! Capitan est maravilla!”
Do you remember the first rule of superhero names? I’ll remind you in a bit.
Two days later, Professor LeClare visits Monica at the Harbor Patrol HQ.
He has run Science! tests that have proven conclusively that Monica’s body “was transubstantiated by the dimensional interface!”
And Monica is like ‘english pls’ so LeClare explains “what it means is you can change your body into any form of electromagnetic energy! You can actually become a sentient packet of radio waves, light, even electricity! You can go through solid objects as x-rays! You can travel at the speed of light! What’s more, you can release a small amount of energy as a blast of pure force, with no appreciable loss of body mass!”
Blasts of pure force from the pure force dimension!
So basically, Monica can become any kind of energy and go pew pew. I think she became Green Lantern energy once, that time the Avengers and Justice League crossed over.
LeClare also brought a gift.
He had a copy made of Monica’s scavenged together mardi gras outfit costume. Which is sort of a ‘thanks?’ gift because maybe she wanted to design a costume that wasn’t a hodgepodge. But LeClare’s version is also made of unstable molecules.
You can just buy those, apparently.
But, if you can just buy those, apparently, then you definitely want to because they’re pretty durable and put up with all kinds of nonsense. Although, Monica’s random outfit could turn to energy and back already.
Monica is like ‘thanks?’ because she doesn’t know if she ever wants to use these powers again.
LeClare: “We all have a destiny to fufill, mon capitaine.”
Monica: “Will you stop calling me that? You know darn well that I’m only a lieutenant!”
LeClare: “Oh? Not in the eyes of some!”
And he pulls out a newspaper, in case she hadn’t seen the newspaper.
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The headline is “Who is Capt. Marvel?” because when the navy arrived at the oil rig, they found mustache soldier hysterically saying “the captain is a marvel!” (or possibly “captain is wonderful”?) and not bothering to have learned Spanish, the navy assumes that he was saying Captain Marvel.
Anyway, remember the first rule of superhero names?
The first thing someone randomly shouts about you becomes your codename so I hope you like it.
Monica lucked out. Captain Marvel is a pretty sweet name. So sweet that she’ll have it stolen in like three different ways by other people. Poor Monica.
LeClare: “Monica, you can do things no man has ever dreamed of doing! Two days ago, you told me you took this job ‘to serve and protect’. Much good can be done with your powers... Captain Marvel!”
So then we get Monica quitting the boat cops, tossing her gun and badge on the harbormaster’s desk and telling him where he can shove it.
Monica: “I don’t need your little ranks or your little minds any more! I’ve already made captain... on my own!”
Monica’s ex-boss, presumably: ‘What a cryptic thing to say.’
LeClare asks if she’s sure about quitting. I assumed he was suggesting she quit when he was encouraging her to become a superhero but I guess not.
Monica says that she’s been wanting to quit for years because as long as that ‘tyrant’ was in charge what with his wanting to do things by the book, Monica was limited in what she could accomplish.
Ha ha ha oh thats a bad take thats a bad take on reasons why to quit being a (boat) cop.
‘If only it weren’t for all these RULES and PROCEDURES -shakes fist-’
So Monica walks off with LeClare, to a bright new beautiful tomorrow as a superhero.
Anyway, that’s the end of the flashback zone so now we’re back on the Empire State Building zone where Monica has been reminiscing this whole time.
Apparently that enormous flashback all happened only a few short weeks ago. She’s had a long and entirely off-screen superhero career in those weeks, probably.
But she needs SCIENCE! help and Professor LeClare has scienced as hard as he can already.
Captain Marvel Monica is suffering from energy buildup and she’s afraid she’s going to become as big a threat to the world as Picaro’s machine. If she doesn't’ consciously hold it in check, it would overcome her.
I imagine she hasn’t been sleeping much.
But this is New York and SCIENCE! help is visible on the skyline.
Meanwhile, Spider-Man has finally made it up the Empire State Building.
So that’s really why the flashback was so long, to give Spider-Slowpoke time to catch up.
Spider-Man: “There she is, bold as brass! I’ll slap a little webbing on her, and see what’s shaking! Or should I? What if she’s a good guy, and I’m misreading my senses? I’d look like a fool!”
Truly, social shame is the best reason not to sneak attack someone.
Spider-Man: “Naw, if she’s a good guy, she’ll understand that I couldn’t take any chances! Besides, my chest still smarts!”
... Dammit, Peter.
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But when he shoots a webline, she ZOOMS out of the way. Coincidentally. She never even noticed he was there. Monica just found where she needed to head and headed there in a flash.
Spider-Man tries to find where she went by checking the binoculars she was using but the seeing-stuff expired and Spider-Man doesn’t have a quarter. He doesn’t even have a pocket.
A tourist child comes up to the viewing platform and asks who Spider-Man is.
Spider-Man: “No need to panic, kid. I’m Spider-Man.”
Tourist child: “Who’s panickin’? Besides, there ain’t no Spider-Man... my dad says he’s just a hoax the media barons cooked up to sell papers!”
Spider-Man: “I don’t want to argue, but I am Spider-Man. And I need a quarter -- it’s important!”
Tourist child: “I may be from Council Bluffs, but I’m not stupid! If you want a quarter, prove that you’re Spider-Man!”
Is Spider-Man desperate enough to perform for a child like a trained monkey?
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Yes. Obviously.
Thankfully, all it takes is climbing up the wall and standing.
He gets his quarter and it didn’t cost too much dignity.
Spider-Man feeds the binoculars a quarter and sees what building Monica was looking at and decides this means trouble!
And swings off.
Leaving tourist child to tell his parents about this.
Tourist child: “Mom! Dad! I just met Spider-Man! Wait’ll I tell the guys back home! No, really, dad -- honest!”
Tourist dad: “Dougie, look out that door! Do you see anything? No. Spider-Man is just a creation of the Eastern establishment!”
Tourist mom: “Harold, I told you we shouldn’t have let him go out there! The air this high is too thin for a growing boy!”
Tourist child Dougie: “Aw, mom!”
Oof, that poor child.
But where is Monica and, much more slowly, Spider-Man heading?
The Baxter Building!
Fantastic Four guest star role?
Mmm, one-quarter of that.
When Monica arrives, the place looks like its been torn apart by some sort of Terrax because that’s what happened. Monica doesn’t know that it was specifically Terrax but she certainly guesses that some kind of battle-axe was to blame.
Only Ben Grimm is present and asks her who the heck she is.
Captain Marvel: “I... I’m Captain Marvel.”
The Thing: “Not unless ya came back from the dead by way of Denmark, ya ain’t! Marv died months ago. ‘Sides, he was a blond.”
Captain Marvel: “There was another Captain Marvel? I - I’m sorry... I didn’t know.”
The Thing: “Aw, don’t sweat it... Marv probably wouldn’t mind. I probably ain’t the only Thing in the world, either!”
I guess Captain Marvel wasn’t a very well-known superhero. Then again, maybe superheroes aren’t very well known outside of New York?
The tourists from Council Bluffs thought Spider-Man was a hoax and Monica was only aware of Spider-Man in a very vague ‘oh right I read about him’ sort of way.
Guess the Avengers and the Fantastic Four are the exceptions.
Anyway, Monica explains the situation to Ben that she might explode like a 1000 megaton bomb.
And unfortunately, Reed Richards Is Useless. Although in this case because he’s off on vacation with Sue at Martha’s Vineyard and there’s no way to reach him in time.
Ben comes up with another idea. Maybe the Avengers can help! Because he knows this is an Avengers liveblog and I need a certain amount of Avengers content or I wouldn’t be here.
Although really its because he has the vague sense that the Avengers seem to have a lot of science savvy.
When Ben punches up a call to the Avengers, Captain Marvel is like ‘kthx’ and zips along the transmission because time is very much a factor here!
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Unfortunately frying the radio in the process because it wasn’t intended to take a whole energy person through it.
Spider-Man arrives just after Monica leaves (because see also: Spider-Slowpoke). He asks Ben if he saw her and Ben makes a statement that could, on its face, perhaps be misinterpreted.
The Thing: “See her? She just fried my radio! Dangdest thing I ever saw! She changed into a buncha radio waves and headed for Avengers mansion! I hope they can handle her before she explodes!”
Spider-Man: “Explodes? She explodes too?! She’s more of a menace than I thought!”
Hey. Hey, Peter. I don’t want to hear that from you. There’s a hilarious irony to you saying those words that I don’t think you grasp.
And he swings off to Avengers Mansion to go help deal with this cough menace, not hearing Ben trying to tell him he’s got the wrong idea.
The Mighty Marvel Misunderstanding fight tradition trumps sound waves.
Meanwhile, at Avengers Mansion, Iron Man is sitting down on a nice monitor duty, probably just enjoying the quiet when he receives a priority signal from the Fantastic Four.
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SURPRISE ITS MONICA
I think what I like most is that Iron Man has apparently had to tell the FF to stop calling about Galactus.
The Avengers’ systems are also unable to handle the sudden energy discharge of an entire person, so Monica’s arrival messes up the mansion security systems and also Iron Man.
Whoops.
The security stunulators, that the Avengers totally have, suddenly start shooting at Jarvis. So you know they’re messed up because who would want to hurt that delightful man?
Captain Marvel is dismayed to find that bad things have happened because of her and Iron Man is like hey if that tone is sincere, maybe help me out? I’m stuck in my bricked armor, not naming any names, but a tiny spark across the chestplate will reset things.
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Except, Captain Marvel can’t exactly dial back that much and that exactly so Iron Man is just stuck waiting for help.
Jarvis arrives to report on the security system and finds Captain Marvel standing over Iron Man. And Monica makes an admission which could, on its face, perhaps be misinterpreted.
Jarvis: “Master Iron Man! We’ve lost power all over the building and... what on Earth?!”
Captain Marvel: “My... my powers shut down his armor.”
Jarvis: “Shameless trollop! The other Avengers will not let this attack go unanswered!”
Geez, Jarvis! Rude!
That is a very impolite thing to say to someone!
Jarvis then runs off to try and find some other Avengers.
And he runs right into Spider-Man who has just arrived (and had to dodge past a crowd that assumes Spider-Man is somehow to blame for whatever is going on. Sucks when people assume the worst of you).
Jarvis doesn’t like to trust Spider-Man, knowing so little about him, but decides he doesn’t have any other choice.
Meanwhile, Captain Marvel is wandering through the hallways of Avengers Mansion. Since she couldn’t jump-start him, Iron Man suggested she lock herself in the adamantium containment chamber that the Avengers totally have in their lab.
Just in case she really does happen to explode.
Good ol’ Iron Man, thinking through the angles. Huh. I wonder if that chamber later gets repurposed into the Zero Chamber that brought Jack of Hearts so much misery before he too exploded.
Spider-Man sneak attacks Captain Marvel, finally getting to web her up. But with a mighty WOOMPF! she blasts free of the webbing.
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Spider-Man: “You... you stretched my webbing! Even ripped it in places! But no one this side of the Juggernaut can do that!”
Captain Marvel: “Look, I’m sorry I blasted you earlier! If you want, we can settle accounts later... but not now! My time is running out!”
She does the Solar Flare, like a Goku, but Spider-Man uses the secret move of shutting his eyes. And then grabs her by the upper arms.
This might end the fight against some opponents but not the all-new all-different all-terrific Captain Marvel.
No, the fight ends two panels later. Monica turns her body into electricity so Spider-Man knocks her unconscious once she unzaps.
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Hm. Considering she has enough power to blow up a city, she kind of has a glass jaw. Then again, she’s conspicuously trying not to explode. Doesn’t leave a lot of concentration for taking a hit.
Which was heckin’ rude of Pete.
And it happens that aside from being a dick move, this was also a very BAD thing to have done. I’ll let Iron Man sum it up.
Iron Man: “You young fool!”
Hah.
Hooo. Spider-Man is not coming off well in his own dang book, is he? Guess that’s part of being the hype man.
So, off-screen, the Wasp jump-started Iron Man’s armor with her Wasp sting. Because it’s bio-electricity, some of the times.
Iron Man: “The woman you K.O.ed came for help, not as an enemy! Now that she’s unconscious, she could explode any second -- unless we can leach off her excess power.”
Iron Man tells Spider-Man if he wants to make amends, to rip some cable out of the ceiling because of course the Avengers Mansion is riddled with high-induction cable.
Since the only thing they have immediately available that can handle the kind of power they need to siphon is Iron Man, he has Spider-Man wrap the unconscious Marvel in the cables and webs them to Iron Man’s iron nipples, or whatever those lugnuts are for.
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In fact, since the webbing is non-conductive, he has Spider-Man cover him in it head to toe except for raised hands.
The Wasp: “Iron Man, are you sure your armor can withstand the stress?”
Iron Man: “No. If this doesn’t work... it’s been nice knowing you, Jan!”
And now Spider-Man, realizing that he triggered this by knocking out Monica and that Iron Man may possibly die from this, feels like a real asshole. A complete kneebiter.
Spider-Man: (Some hero I am! I try to stop what I think is a menace, and wind up causing something even worse. If they die...)
The Wasp: “Uh, Spider-Man? We really should get out of here -- just in case Iron Man can’t contain Captain Marvel’s power.”
Spider-Man: “Captain... Marvel? Did you say Captain Marvel?!?”
The Wasp: “No relation to the old one!”
Spider-Man: “Oh, that’s just dandy! I may have doomed a new Captain Marvel! Wasp, I feel like a total clod!”
And prepare to feel worse, Spider-Man! Because while you were feeling sorry for yourself, the energy has built up so much that there’s no time to actually get to a safe distance!
Spider-Man spins a web-barrier for himself and Wasp but echoes Iron Man’s “nice knowing you” when Wasp asks what happens if it doesn’t hold.
Lotta fatalism on this page.
Within the web cocoon, Iron Man shunts the energy from Captain Marvel into his own armor. And specifically into the repulsor ray generators.
Which is to say that he releases the excess energy by blasting two giant repulsor blasts through the mansion ceiling and into the sky.
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I like this plan because its ridiculous.
I mean it works really well. Everybody is alive. The city didn’t explode. But it hinged on Iron Man blasting holes into his own house and into the sky. Today, it was he who was the sky light column as seen in movies.
The Thing finally arrives via cab, expecting that everything has gone to hell if Spider-Man got involved.
And to be fair, he’s not wrong, just arriving at the wrong moment to see the gone to hell. The Avengers have tidied up the hell by this point and are having a hangout sesh.
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Everyone is hanging around to meet the new Captain Marvel. Its turned from a calamity to a “Sunday social” to quote Hawkeye.
I like that Captain Marvel and Captain America are shaking hands. And that he calls her captain.
I don’t remember who (probably Hawkeye? Or maybe Wonder Man? Some dick) in a later baseball game crossover between the east coast and West Coast Avengers where whoever refuses to call her Captain because only Captain America is captain in their mind. But Cap is just like ‘hello there fellow captain.’
I see that She-Hulk is back in her Iconic tm Duds of the white torn dress. Artists that weren’t working inside the actual Avengers book just had no idea what she was wearing. I think I can conclude that from a cover, a filler issue, and another book all depicting her in the Savage She-Hulk outfit.
Also, I don’t get the joke she’s making. Anyone have any idea?
Captain Marvel even covers for Spider-Man. When Ben asks her if she got her exploding problem sorted, she thanks the Avengers and Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: (That’s one I owe you, C.M.) “Why so surprised, Benjy? I’m always happy to help out another super-star!”
The Thing: “Well... I guess there’s a first time for everything!”
Time reminds Spider-Man that before this Avengers plot fell into his lap, that he had a Spider-Man plot going on.
Remember?
Harry and Liz arriving by bus?
So he rushes back to the bus stop and finds that nobody has paged Peter Parker while he’s been gone. He figures that Harry and Liz must have gotten tired of waiting and ditched.
But actually, their bus was delayed and they’ve only just now arrived. The timing worked out pretty well actually!
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This is one time where, at the end of the day, things worked out for Peter Parker!
I mean. He had to be an asshole to drive the plot but that’s the Peter Parker experience to be honest. He does that sometimes. And today, his making things worse powers were used for good to hype up a new character.
But you can see from that next time box why I needed to cover this issue. Because Captain Marvel is going right from here to being in the Avengers book and this annual is the circumstances for how that happens.
You’re welcome.
I quite like Monica Rambeau. We don’t see a lot of her powers here aside from NYOOM and we don’t see her interact with the Avengers much aside from Iron Man briefly so that’s what I’m looking forward to. More of her become any energy powers and what her dynamic with the Avengers will be like.
I’m hype.
As an intro to her, I’m torn. Her origin was pretty cool. But the present day adventure didn’t let her be as cool because she was just trying not to explode. She did accidentally punk Spider-Man a few times and got the best of some muggers. Its fine.
It just feels like there’s a sudden, jarring shift between the triumphant new hero new powers new costume and even a supporting character and ‘actually i’m going to explode whoops.’
Follow @essential-avengers​. I’ve caught up on reposting by now. You could follow without ever having to interact with my Dark Crystal stuff or my many reblogs of cat stuff. But also maybe like and reblog.
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I will respond to this. But in future I’m asking you and others not to send me things like this please.
“This month, Marvel Comics relaunched Amazing Spider-Man with a Nick Spencer as head writer, marking the end of Dan Slott's long run with the title and an end of the "Brand New Day" era of Spider-History.”
The problems start here. BND ended before Slott’s solo run began.
“ Spencer's run begins with a bit of a bang.
Well, about as much of a bang as you get from kissing the same person you've known for 50 years.”
This is a reductive and childish mentality towards romance and sex. It prioritizes the novelty and excitement of ‘new love’ (which is scientifically guaranteed to last like 2 years tops) over the deeper and ultimately more potent emotions attached to proper love, which in truth is kind of like friendship on steroids.
In this specific case it’s especially stupid as, putting aside fan reactions, the fact that Peter and Mj were back together after 10+ years was OBVIOUSLY going to be a shocking moment. A ‘bang’ if you will. This is like saying it wasn’t a moment of audience interest whenever Ross and Rachel seemingly got back together or when Monica and Chandler initially got together. They too had known one another for a long time, a roughly equivalent time for their character and Peter and MJ in-universe.
“This has come after Peter and Mary Jane have been apart for about a decade. This recent "surprise" get-back-to-gether is the same sort of "exciting development" that happens eventually after Marvel breaks a couple up, or kills someone in one of their books (See the Hulk, Jean Grey, Peter Parker during Superior Spider-Man, etc. etc. etc.) Peter and Mary Jane getting back together (apparently) is sort of a big deal.”
Yes. Because fans WANTED them to be back together.
Fans aren’t in this for the roller coaster of novelty. They don’t want Spidey or Superman to be with anyone OTHER than MJ or Lois. By the same token the majority do not want anyone other than Luthor or Joker to be Superman or Batman’s archenemies.
“See, in 2007 Marvel Comics made the bold decision to end the marriage between Spider-Man and his longtime wife, Mary Jane Watson.”
Watson Parker
It wasn’t bold it was asinine
How bold is it when it was the third such attempt to do that? “At the time, fans lost their shit.” And they are STILL angry about it. “You can't really blame them because the deed was done in the most asinine way. For some reason, divorce was out of the question. The alternative was somehow more awful. After Peter's Aunt May got shot in the bo-bo at the end of Civil War, Spider-Man literally made a deal with the devil to save her life.” WTF is a bo-bo? “What did this change exactly? Well, the events of Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 didn't end in a marriage. So everything that happened after was still the same except Peter amd MJ were a common-law couple. Or something.” And MJ was never pregnant, and all the shit specifically related to their wedding rings, dress, photos, anniversary couldn’t have happened and given how to them marriage wasn’t a piece of paper then this would have massive ramifications for their relationship quite a part from the fact there would now be a massive sore spot in their relationship. “Anyway, like I said, a lot of longtime fans hated it.” No. MOST longtime fans hated it. And most SHORT time fans also hated it. And even many newer fans who jumped on-board after it hated it too. “You know, the audience they weren't trying to appeal to anymore.” Which was idiotic. You don’t try to gain a new audience by throwing away your old one. You try to retain the old audience and bring new people into the fold at the same time. Noticeably this happened in the 1990s. This failed  to happen after OMD and it failed  to happen with the Nu52 which was the OMD for the whole DC universe. The latter failed so badly they reverse rebooted many characters, Superman chief among them. Superman’s financial and critical reception increased when they brought back the OLD Superman who was married (and now a father to boot) and used him to replace the younger, single and hip Superman most people disliked. The OLD fans returned. Shockingly appealing to the old AND new fans is possible. “Still, they came up with a storyline that would be relatable to younger readers, and still be relevant to longtime readers as well”
It wasn’t a storyline it was an era
No. It absolutely wasn’t relatable or relevant to younger readers. I was 16-19 when BND was running. I was directly  the demographic they were trying to appeal to. Let me tell you straight. Those stories were not relatable. At all. They weren’t relevant. At all. The PS4 game’s take? Now that shit was reltable but noticeably that version only takes plot concept from BND. The characterization of Peter is far more in line with his pre-OMD self and didn’t represent a regression of the character
Thousands of people became Spider-Man fans reading the marriage era Spidey comics. If it was so unrelatable how is that possible?
The stories were not relevant to the older audience at all because the whole purpose of BND was to basically ignore 90% of Spider-Man history between 1987-2007. And more importantly even the characteriation before then that they were trying to invoke was done incorrectly. The Spidey of BND was a systemically mischaracterizion of Spider-Man even if yu ignored OMD “The fiscal reasoning made sense, there were Spider-Man films that were out roping in a new generation kids who wouldn't relate to a married Spider-Man.”
There was a 5 season long TV show before those movies aimed directly at children. Kids got into Spidey through that and we didn’t care he was married. In fact he was married on the show
To 90s/2000s teens and tweens the struggles of Spidey in the 1994 cartoon and Raimi movies were not all that relatable. The male members of the cartoon audience were too young to be interested in romance and all the demographics were unlikely to relate to Peter’s financial struggles as they were too young to work. Even if they weren’t too young to work they wouldn’t have been the breadwinner of the household the way they might’ve been in the 1960s. By the 1990s and 2000s times had changed
Peter had become a MAN like halfway through the first Raimi movie and that wasn’t even the most popular or successful one. Spider-man 2, where Peter was distinctly an adult and grappling with adult problems, was
Kids have been unlikely to relate to Batman. In fact as times have changed it’s evident they infinitely prefer Batman to Robin, the character actually created specifically for them to relate to. Batman is at least as popular as Spider-Man, if not moreso
The MCU has made Iron Man and Black Panther (who kids could never truly relate to) and Captain America (whom few people regardless of age could ever relate to as he is almost a moral paragon) fan favourite characters. CLEARLY relatability is at best highly subjective and at worst not essential to making a character appealing
BND occurred after Spider-Man 3 where Peter wanted to marry Mary Jane. If anything the JMS era of Spidey where he was married to the main love interest from the movies and where Aunt May knew who he was would’ve been MORE synergetic with the movies of the time than what BND was “Also, times have changed. Fans freaked out that Spider-Man was no longer married and back to living at Aunt May's home? At the time Peter Parker was in his late 20s (Marvel Time).” No, at the time he was 30 years old. “If this is basically you in 2018, you had no reason to bitch about Brand New Day.” Get fucked. Fans had EVERY reason to bitch about BND back then AND now too. Putting aside how we got there (which would be reason enough) the stories themselves were objectively deplorable! “Looking back at the storyline 10 years after the fact,” It’s not a storyline. It was an era. “it's hard to understand what the big deal was.” It’s hard to understand mischaracterization, illogic, continuity contradictions, sexism, racism, juvenile writing, character deconstruction, borderline gaslighting of the fans, talking down to the audience, price gouging, inconsistent writing and art and just generally bad storytelling? “Because I secretly hate myself, I decided to read every Spider-Man comic published.” I somehow doubt that. Even if it’s true there is a massive difference between reading a story and understanding it. Dan Slott READ a lot of Spider-Man. He knew a lot of Spider-Facts. But he clearly never understood  the character. He might KNOW MJ shut that door in ASM #122. But he absolutely doesn’t grasp it’s deeper meaning. “I started about a year ago, and I'm just hitting stories published in 2007. In retrospect, there are a lot of shitty Spider-Man stories. Some of them weren't as bad as they were made out to be (The Clone Saga, being one of them, surprisingly) One thing about the Peter/MJ marriage (which ran from 1987 to 2007) is you quickly realize their marriage was horrible.” Sure. If you are a bad literary analyst, sexist, crap at contextualization and apply a blunt criteria instead of nuance. If you don’t you get that there were ups and downs with the writing as would be expected of almost anything written across 20 years by multiple writers. “Especially for Mary Jane.” Oh cool, sexist it is then. “It wasn't good, it was a burden to telling good stories.” Kraven’s Last Hunt Sensational Spider-Man Annual 2007 Spider-Man Unlimited v3 #2 Story 2 Parallel Lives Anything by JMS involving MJ Revelations Spec #200 Spec #241-245 Sensational v2 #32 Marvel Knights: Spider-man #1-12 And many other stories I could name say otherwise genius. “This is because the writers involved at the time didn't seem to understand how a marriage works.”
JMS clearly did
DeMatteis clearly did
DeFalco clearly did
Sacasa clearly did
Peter David clearly did
Mark Millar clearly did
Even Bendis clearly did
Maybe it’s not how YOUR marriage works. But everyon’es marriage is a different “The marriage was, at best, an excuse for an instant damsel in distress situation,” Remember how the marriage was used as an instant damsel-in-distress situation in KLH? Remember how that was ALL it amounted to in the Eisner nominated Sensational Spider-Man Annual 2007? Remember how badly MJ was in need of rescuing in the Jonathan Caesar storyline? “or at worse a reason for Peter Parker to go on about how "lucky" he was to be married to a model/actress. Like Mary Jane was nothing more than a trophy to pride himself because he was such a fucking loser in high school.” Yes. Peter never argued with MJ. Peter never confided his concerns with MJ. MJ never alleviated his guilt. MJ never grew as a person from her horrible childhood issues through being married with Peter. MJ didn’t become more self-sacrificing due to Peter. Peter was never pushed to become more powerful by thoughts of his believed wife. They never helped one another through traumatic situations. “What I really want to stress here is, Peter and Mary Jane's marrage was awful.” Nah fam. YOUR analytical skills are awful. “Worst. Idea. Ever.” Nah fam. You writing this was the worst idea ever. Scratch that, me subjecting myself to this shit was the worst idea ever. “Can't take my word for it? Here are some reasons why: Mary Jane Had to Swat Away So Many Dicks” An attractive woman with a very public profile draws unwanted attention? How unrealistic! It’s terrible that such a thing would never happen in real life, real life being the baked into the core concept of Spider-Man. Why if it did it’d be a organic way to give MJ subplots and conflicts of her own to deal with that could impact  upon Peter’s life by extension or something. “Almost from the start, Mary Jane had to fend off other men who were obsessed with her and didn't give a shit that she was married. That's not necessarily Peter's fault, but it really says a lot of the opinion towards female characters in comics at the time.” …how…? This happens in real life…A LOT! And what has ‘Peter’s fault’ got to do with this? It’s not even a statement that warrants a ‘necessarily’. What? If Peter was more ‘Alpha’ other men would know not to try it on with ‘his woman’ or something? Also, let’s properly contextualize things okay. Between 1987-2007 MJ was stalked by like 5 people. That’s once every 4 years if you average it out but 3/5 of them occurred in Michelinie’s run alone which is not the be all or end all of the marriage. Another one was for a single issue and the final one was actually obsessed with Peter and used MJ to get to him. I ain’t saying it didn’t get old but this guy is making it out to be something that was an annual event. “Sure, the idea of someone stalking an actress/model isn't outlandish, and a sad fact of the celebrity-driven reality we live in.” YOU DON’T SAY! And it doesn’t just apply to actresses or models btw. “However, the number of times this was used as a plot got a bit out of hand.” I agree. But 5 times across 20 years, when there was a 5 year gap between the third and fourth instances and a 5 year gap between the fourth and final instance (lasting for 1 issue and wasn’t even the main plot) is not reflective of anything. “That said because it's a Spider-Man comic book they couldn't just settle on a dumpy guy wearing sticky jogging pants. They had to kick it up a notch. With horrific implications for poor Mary Jane.” …yeeeeeeeeeeah? And? Stalkers are horrible. You want there to be tension and conflict so the threat of violence is absolutely justifiable. FFS, kraven the Hunter buried Spider-Man alive and Venom threatened to eat parts of him. And VENOM was Spidey’s stalker! “Jonathon Caesar An obsession so cliche, I'm surprised that nobody made a joke about his knife compensating for having a small dick.” Except circa 1989 it wasn’t  cliché. At least not as far as a Spidey comic was concerned. If we are opening this up to ALL media then sure but then by that logic Gwen’s death and countless other stories would also be cliché wouldn’t they. “The first scum bag to enter Mary Jane's married life was Jonathon Caesar. He was a wealthy man with a lot of connections.” …Almost like Harvey Weinstein or something… “He helped Mary Jane get into the Bedford Towers condominium (which Caesar owned). His motivation? To kidnap a married woman and force her to live in a specially made trap room until she agreed to marry him. Spider-Man didn't even save the day! Mary Jane broke free on her own and the wall-crawler showed up in time to do the cleanup.” Holy shit. If anyone ever needed proof this doofus’s analytical skills weren’t there this is it. The Jonathan Caesar storyline was designed  to be a subversion of the damsel-in-distress  trope. The whole fucking POINT was that MJ saved herself instead of Spidey saving her! Jesus Christ how do you miss that. Not to mention how do you complain Caesar as a villain is cliché but then ALSO complain that the damsel-in-distress cliché wasn’t adhered to. “Caesar went to jail but he used his influence to ruin her modeling career and get her evicted from their home.” *coughWeinsteincough* “Not only that, but MJ's money got tied up in a lengthy legal battle, with no apparent end in sight. In fact the money mentioned here is never talked about again.” Er…yes it is. MJ ultimately settles in ASM #333 wiping out her savings. I’d have thought someone who read every  Spider-Man comic book would have known that. “Caesar eventually got out of jail and continued to stalk Mary Jane.” Again, clearly hasn’t read every Spider-Man comic book and/or is a shitty analyst. Yes Caesar did this but he did this BEFORE MJ engaged him in a legal battle. “Her husband didn't do squat to stop it.” What was he supposed to do? Caesar was out legally and Peter couldn’t just kill or assault the guy. Threatening him would likely have helped Caesar’s legal case further, especially due to the public knowing about the association between Peter and Spidey. Touching Caesar would be like trying to get the Kingpin locked up. It’s extremely difficult for someone that rich and powerful. “He was too busy playing Spider-Man to help his own wife.” No. He was busy saving the lives of innocent people. He wasn’t doing this for fun, he is Spidey for the greater good. MJ knows that. MJ knew that she could ask Peter for help if she needed it and he’d come running. She made it clear she could handle it and like a good husband he respected her decision. It wasn’t like she was trying to reach him for help and he was distracted or actively ignored her. But you know, those disingenuous pieces of misinformation aren’t going to write themselves. Also the stories are a little ambiguous about this but there is a possible implication that MJ was keeping Peter somewhat in the dark about Caesar’s activities. “The only person who was interested in Mary Jane's safety was Officer Hal Goldman, who ended up shooting Caesar dead. Was Hal a super-cop detective that ate serial stalkers for lunch? Note really, see the thing about Hal.... Hal Goldman Let's  follow up this sexist scene with the woman regretting her career choices. Very progressive.”
This bozo shouldn’t be lecturing people on what is and isn’t sexist
FFS OF COURSE someone in MJ’s position would be questioning her career choices. She’s just been stalked by 2 lunatics. But noticeably she doesn’t stop  being an actress/model after this. The moment was a dash of comedy given the situation and nothing more. But you wouldn’t know that given how this guy is not bothering to use context or anything
How the Hell is MJ macing a stalker and then knocking him out sexist? “Hal Goldman wasn't actually a police officer. He was just a fat NYPD civilian desk clerk with a terrible bowl cut who had an unhealthy obsession with Mary Jane when she starred in a soap opera called "Secret Hospital". Although he was "investigating" Jonathan Ceasar's attempts to ruin Mary Jane's life again, he was also obsessed with protecting her from everyone who slighted her. He ran over an old woman who slapped MJ in the face, dropped a stage light on her director's head and tried to clobber Peter with a piece of concrete. However, this is an accurate depiction of how fan-boys react to things.” Remember how over 50% of fanboys threatened or actually inflicted violence upon people because of OMD? Neither do I. “When he guns down Caesar he professes his undying love to Mary Jane and admits to committing all the above crimes. Again, Peter is nowhere around,” Of course he’s nowhere around. Peter doesn’t constantly monitor MJ all day every day. You know…like a stalker. Fuck real life husbands don’t do this. Moreover if we bother to check the issue in question (ASM #339) some interesting details are presented to us. For starters MJ was only endangered due to trickery and bad luck. Caesar forced a co-star of MJ’s to handwrite a note and sign it asking for her to meet him at the set of Secret Hospital. Between the set being a relatively safe environment and the note checking out as legitimate due to the handwriting and signature, MJ had no reason to be suspicious. Peter absolutely intended to go with MJ but earlier that day had been doused with a chemical by the Sinister Six, the effects of which he was uncertain about. He got a call regarding the Six’s activities and the chemical so logically that would take priority over Mj merely meeting a co-star. MJ chose not to delay the meeting until Peter was available and go herself. Again neither she nor Peter had any reason to suspect foul play. So Peter’s absence was never due to neglect. It wasn’t even due to putting the duties of Spider-man before the needs of his wife. As far as either of them knew there was no danger. So again, distorting the facts. Classy. “so when she rejects him Officer Bowl Cut decides to do the old "if I can't have you, nobody will!" Routine. However, she sprayed him in the eyes with hairspray and clobbered him with a purse. You know just as you'd expect a strong female character to do.” Yes. That is exactly what I expect a female, or indeed any character, to do in that situation. Mary Jane had no real weapons. The story even specified that MJ tried  to get a handgun but was still waiting on it. So she improvised and used whatever resources she had to hand. This is routine for Mary Jane both during and before the marriage. Using hairspray and a handbag, which are not obvious weapons but can nevertheless be repurposed for offence, was a perfectly legitimate technique for both the character and writer to employ. It’s almost like it makes her look smart, tough and resourceful for being able to think on her feet like that or something. Oh, and again. MJ is bad because she conforms to a cliché but is also bad because didn’t conform to the cliché of Spidey rescuing her which would’ve also been bad because the marriage is used to easily generate damsel-in-distress situations. This isn’t even a double standard it’s a TRIPLE standard. This jackoff has constructed his argument in such a way that Mary Jane/the marriage can NEVER win. “Jason Jerome This happened in 1990, consent hadn't been invented yet.”
Jason wasn’t a stalker strictly speaking
This storyline, bad as it was, was nevertheless handled very differently from the Jonathan Caesar arc because MJ at least was tempted to reciprocate feelings for Jason whilst she was repulsed by Caesar
YES. the concept of consent WASN’T very well taught back in the 1990s! What the hell is he point here? “Jason Jerome was an actor who thought he could seduce Mary Jane into having an affair with him. This came at a time when there were three monthly Spider-Man titles. This made for one busy wall-crawler. On top of fighting villains, he was also promoting a book and traveling the globe as a reporter. Needless to say, MJ was feeling more than a little neglected. This made Mary Jane susceptible to Jerome's advances. However, despite his best efforts, Mary Jane ended things before they had gone too far. To do so, she invited Jason to her apartment under the pretence of sex. Instead of getting balls deep, Jason Jerome found himself in a room plastered with photos of Peter and Mary Jane together, like inviting an obsessed man into your home without telling anyone is a smart idea.” Jason was not obsessed. He viewed MJ as a ‘conquest’ and from her POV was not dangerous like Caesar or Hal. Also IIRC this occurred after  the incident with Hal, which meant MJ would likely have owned a handgun by this point. Even if she didn’t, she defeated Hal and Caesar and his guards when she was unprepared and improvising on the fly. Here she has had hours to prep and it’s literally in her home. If she suspected Jason to be dangerous (which he was not and had given her no reason to believe so) she was in a great position to handle him. “All the lamps and hairspray in the world cannot possibly stop this potentially becoming a bad situation.” A rich and powerful lunatic with a knife and armed guards outside got their ass beaten by MJ whilst she was improvising…on their home turf. A less rich, less powerful, unarmed man with no displays of mental instability or violence comes to MJ’s home turf on his own. So yes, if she was so inclined MJ could 100% rig up a trap with hairspray and a lamp or a fucking gun if she had one. “If this backfires, let's just hope he's into this sort of thing.” A necrophilia joke? How tasteful. “The Stalker "I said, I'm bored with sort of scenario. Can you try and change this up a bit?"”
Jason Jerome wasn’t stalking MJ
Yes the stalker was lame. Also this occurred around 9-10 years later
You know there is more to this relationship than the occasions when MJ was stalked FFS “The most unoriginal character created by Howard Mackie during his run.” His run when he was possibly dealing with serious health issues. Classy. “The Stalker follows a long tradition of Marvel characters whose names are obvious: The Prowler prowls,” Except he doesn’t do much prowling. He flits between retirement and active costumed work. And he’s not exactly a stalker of the night like Batman when he’s out of retirement. “the Watcher watches, and the Shocker finger blasts people.” Does this guy know what ‘shocking’ means? Blasting people isn’t shocking them. Electrocuting people = shocking people. Vibrating them doesn’t = shocking them. “So obviously, the Stalker was a stalker. Specifically, he stalked Mary Jane. The guy went to some insane lengths. He set off bombs and killed people. The whole time this was happening Peter was busy going out as Spider-Man.” YES. THAT’S HIS FUCKING JOB! Also, for the majority of the time Mj was being stalked she had kept Peter in the dark about the guy. Shortly after he finally did learn the truth he seemingly died. For sure he was kept away from her whilst she was being made a target, but
The 1970s Clone Saga
Spec Annual 1988
Smoke and Mirrors
Web #125
Maximum Clonage
Clone Conspiracy
“Each time he seems to forget the fact that a lunatic had cloned his dead girlfriend every time.”
Horseshit.
He KNEW the truth in every encounter following the first one. He didn’t fall for it on the third-sixth occasions but shockingly  seeing your dead loved one (who died right in front of you) walking around alive is going to emotionally hurt you and dreadge up old wounds and old feelings.
Gerry Conway in Spec Annual 1988 directly addresses this by having Peter acknowledge that intellectually  he knows Gwen to merely be a clone but emotionally  he still feels towards her the same way as though she were the real Gwen.
It’s almost like Conway was a good writer not a HACK like the OP and so knows that in matters of the heart a realistic human being might let their sense of logic fly out the window.
If ONLY there had been a global sensation of a movie released months prior to ASM v5 #1 which demonstrated this aptly.
“Every time it made Peter confused and dug up old feelings. Which, naturally, made Mary Jane doubt the strength of their relationship.”
That literally happened twice. And she briefly  doubted before thinking otherwise or been shown otherwise.
“With this many clones of the dead girlfriend, you'd figure he would have gotten used to it.”
Yes if he was an emotionless automaton. Or written by someone who knows jack about human emotions...like the OP…
“Instead of going to a shrink to process these feelings,”
Thus risking the anonymity that protects himself and his loved ones.
“Peter usually fell for the various manipulations that typically came from these convoluted cloning schemes and hit whoever was responsible.”
OBVIOUSLY he hit whoever was responsible. They were super villains, he was going to bring them to justice no matter what
Again, he fell for it the first time. But ONLY the first time. He was aware Gwen was a clone in every other encounter and never played along. Many of those instances weren’t even villains pulling a scheme but a situation Peter happened to mix himself up in. Spec Annual #8 had nothing to do with him as the High Evolutionary wanted to apprehend Gwen for his own purposes. Web #125 involved him discovering Gwen’s clone in the suburbs but no villain had planned on him doing that
“That Time Illegitimate Kids Showed Up
Gwen Stacy was always portrayed as a saintly woman cut down in the prime of her life.”
Except for all those times she absolutely wasn’t prior to her death; that’s not even counting AUs.
Saint Gwendolyn I, Holy Virgin Martyr Princess was a revisionist invention fabricated after her death to make her death more tragic in hindsight. It’s a pack of lies that doesn’t deserve to be paid attention to.
“That was until JMS wrote a Gwen Stacy story that was entirely fucked up.”
No. It was only partially fucked up because
Gwen was obviously not pregnant
MJ and Gwen didn’t care about Gwen’s kids
“In it, Peter learns that Gwen had an affair with Norman Osborn (the Green Goblin, AKA the guy who later murdered her) and got knocked up.”
They didn’t have an affair.
People seem to be misinformed on the definition of what the word ‘affair’ means. They use it as though it means ‘being unfaithful to your partner’. That is not the meaning of the term. An EXTRAMARITAL affair can mean that but a regular romantic/sexual affair doesn’t inherently mean there is any unfaithfulness occurring.
But it DOES have to be ongoing to some extent.
Gwen and Norman weren’t in any kind of on-going relationship. They had sex exactly once.
And during that time no unfaithfulness was occurring as Gwen was not with Peter at the time.
“Everyone apparently knew and kept it a secret.”
…er….no…I don’t know how you could even misread Sins Past to come to that conclusion.
The story is extremely explicit that Gwen and Norman kept their encounter and Gwen’s pregnancy a secret. MJ knew about it and told Peter years later. But there is nothing in the story even hinting that anyone else knew besides the three of them.
“During a point where Gwen and Peter were on the outs, she found out she was pregnant, left the country, and gave birth to the kids. These kids were then secreted away by Norman for years.
When Peter found about these kids (but not their origins) he assumed they were his kids, even though he later remembers that he and Gwen never had sex!!”
He never presumes they are his children. Again, great analytical skills there.
“What's worse, is after all was said and done, Peter later went to France to help out Gwen's daughter, who was her spitting image and the same biological age that Gwen was when Peter dated her (they aged fast, look it up) This was all an attempt to seduce Peter and he had to constantly remind himself that his feelings for her were wrong.”
It was absolutely not an attempt to seduce Peter. Sarah’s agenda only later evolved to entail that too but that wasn’t her original motive
In one of the all time best episodes of the Simpsons Homer was tempted by his co-worker Mindy. This occurred in spite of countless episodes demonstrating how much he loved Marge. Ultimately nothing more than a kiss was shared between them and he didn’t succumb to his temptations. In this scenario Peter is being confronted by someone who looks and to an extent acts identically to someone he loved and cruelly lost, someone who for a time he believed he might have a future with. This occurs not very long after he learns that his relationship with that person was at least partially a big lie as she was pregnant for most of their relationship and slept with his ultimate enemy. So he’s going to be incredibly emotionally vulnerable at this point. Sarah kissed him and he didn’t reciprocate at all. Peter if anything can be more forgiven his temptations than Homer was. And Homer was still forgivable as your actions  are what ultimately matter. Peter not only acknowledged  his feelings were wrong and coming from an emotionally confusing place but he never acted upon them either and reaffirmed his love for MJ when all was said and done. Much like Homer did to Marge after rejecting Mindy.
“Mary Jane had such a bad feeling about it, she travelled to France to check in on her hubby, and walked in on him while Gwen Jr. Was kissing Peter.”
Yeah. Because OOC writing exists dipshit. You don’t just take ANY given story as gospel FFS. What kind of pre-schooler level literary analysis is this?
“The fact that Peter was attracted to a 7 year old girl who only looked like she was in her early 20s because of a genetic disorder is super creepy.”
It is because see above about OOC writing. But by this logic the clones of Gwen were even younger. Sarah was mentally 7 but she looked just like an adult Gwen Stacy so obviously  Peter’s emotions and attractions being confused is forgivable under the circumstances.
“So you can totally understand when Mary Jane was upset about that one.”
I’m genuinely shocked this clown was able to be so sympathetic towards MJ here.
“Somewhere, a divorce lawyer just got a huge erection.”
I’m sure he would have if only the story hadn’t ended by reaffirming Peter and MJ’s love for one another.
“It Wasn't Just the Dead Girlfriend, but her Extended Family
Before we get into more of the Stacy family, let's talk about the Watson family for a minute. Mary Jane came from a broken home. An alcoholic and abusive father led to her mother taking the kids and leaving. Although he mom died her sister had two kids and was abandoned by the father. Also, she has a cousin who has an eating disorder. In a lot of these cases, Peter Parker left his wife to deal with the family drama on her own.”
No.
Peter actively helped MJ when she asked him to in ASM #291-292.
He actively helped MJ’s friend who had a drug problem when MJ asked him to.
In the recent one shot Going Big Peter seeks out Kristy when she disappears…because MJ asked him to.
Peter respected MJ and her family and would’ve helped in any way he was able if MJ aske him to.
But between supporting their family, Aunt May and protecting the city because he’s a fucking super hero  his time and abilities to help were limited. Oh and MJ didn’t ask him to.
She felt, not unjustifiably, that she  could handle it. Often MJ wishes to leave Peter as unburdened as possible if she  can handle a situation because his life is dangerous and stressful enough as is. But she knows he’s there to help if she needs it. And he would be there if she needed him.
It’ almost like they were MARRIED or something and divided up their duties appropriately or something.
This clown seems to treat ‘being Spider-Man’ as code for ‘have fun goofing off lulz’. It’s not. It’s a massive duty and higher purpose Peter takes incredibly seriously.
“Which is quite the slap in the face when he spent more time helping the Stacy family. Namely Gwen's cousins Paul and Jill and their dad.”
Because they were his friends, MJ’s friends and at times MJ asked  him to help them. Peter didn’t even like spending time with them initially because they opened up old wounds for him. He had to put the work in to hang around them.
“When they appeared in Spider-Man stories in the late 90s, Mary Jane took a back seat to whatever problems the Stacy's were having.”
No she didn’t.
SOMETIMES the problems regarding the Stacy’s happened to be the A plot. Other times they happened to be the B plot. This happened more often than not in peter Parker: Spider-Man by Mackie. But there were FOUR Spider-titles at the time so that’s more than acceptable.
But Peter never helped the Stacy’s at the expense  of Mary Jane, not unless there was a clear physical danger posed to their lives.
In Mackie/Byrne’s run MJ and Jill were endangered by the same incident and Peter prioritized saving MJ over Jill.
“You're still dealing with your miscarriage Mary Jane? Sorry, I got to talk Paul Stacy out of a hate group right now.”
Get fucked.
I’ve read PPSM #82-83 as well. In fact they were among my earliest ever comic books I re-read them several years ago.
This is yet another MASSIVE distortion of events.
Peter didn’t talk Paul out of a hate group (specifically the anti-mutant hate group the Friends of Humanity) at the expense of helping MJ deal with their miscarriage.
Peter and MJ were due to meet for a counselling session to talk about the miscarriage. However, Paul was being targeted  by a mutant who literally told Peter she was going to murder him. Peter went to prevent that from happening but a bad bout of vertigo (brought on presumably by an encounter with Morbius the Living Vampire) caused Peter to cling to a wall, his life hanging in the balance.
That’s  why he missed the therapy session that one  time.
He wasn’t goofing off. He wasn’t lecturing Paul about why racism is bad m’kay. He was trying to save his life and then save his own life.
So a quintessential example of distorting the facts and removing things from context.
“Peter Shut Her Out of Every Existential Crisis”
No he didn’t. There were multiple times he questioned if he was doing the right thing, if he was making a difference, etc and talked to her about it
Even if he did shut her out that would be conflict  which is what you fucking want in your dramatic  story
WOW! Moments of intense mental/emotional strife involve people not acting in a healthy manner, including in regards to their romantic relationships?????? Who’d have THOUGHT!
“Not only were Mary Jane's problems put on a back burner, whenever Peter had a problem, he shut MJ out.”
MJ herself understood some of her problems had to be put on a back burner for the greater good  that Spider-Man performed for the world at large.
And the times he shut her out amounted to…I don’t even know…maybe once  just prior to the Clone Saga when he was grappling with intense grief and pain and was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Then just went ahead and had  the mental breakdown.
“During their marriage, Peter had huge life-changing moments. The first was when his parents came back from the dead only to be revealed as impostors then his Aunt May suffered a life-threatening stroke.”
Yes. These were definitely the first life-changing moments that occurred after he married Mary Jane.
Being buried alive, encountering Venom, going back to school, his best friend turning to villainy and becoming a reserve Avenger certainly wouldn’t have been life changing at all.
“Spider-Man's answer? Give up on being Peter Parker and embracing the spider.”
I’ll take ‘What if grief and emotional trauma’ for 500 Alex!!!!!!!
Honest to Christ. The story makes everything clear as crystal. This is an entirely believable response to trauma, it’s just literalized because the person experiencing it lives a double life already and has super powers.
“The writers were probably going for dark and moody, but looking back at it, it was a lot of whining.”
He lived his whole life in the wake of losing his parents, then had those wounds reopened when he learned they were not dead, then gradually grew to love and trust them, was stabbed in the back by them, found out they were imposters and his parents had been dead after all, then saw them violently die right in front of him, then learned this was perpetuated by his best friend, then the woman who raised him had a stroke and fell into a coma.
That’s not WHINING, that’s an insane amount of grief and pain you fucking idiot.
No human being could cope with that amount of trauma and NOT express their pain in some form. This isn’t him complaining he missed a date or can’t get his studies done. This is his heart being ripped out and stomped on in front of him repeatedly!
“Also, he totally abandoned his wife. Which is a dick move. Hey Pete, she might be someone to support you through your recent loss.”
HE WAS HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN YOU DUMBASS!
NO ONE thinks clearly or logically when they are in that kind of emotional/mental distress. He was grieving the loss of THREE parents for fuck’s sake!
“Somewhere, a grief councilor just got a huge erection.”
This shithead clearly doesn’t know the meaning of the word grief.
“Then came the Clone Saga where Peter was convinced he was actually a clone of the real Spider-Man. He was too wrapped up on the fact that his past was potentially a lie that he couldn't see the good things in his life. He was married. Had a child on the way. None of this registered with him because of all the clones around putting his past into question.”
Peter Parker’s belief system was that a clone is NOT a real human being, it is a creature that is less  than human and that in being a clone you have no real identity or right to life, you are just a freak. MJ echoes these sentiments in ASM #400.
Ben Reilly, who had all of Peter’s memories became distraught upon learning he was a clone. That occurred circa 1975 when Peter was approximately 22 years old and hadn’t finished college yet. Ben literally grieved for himself and that the memories in his head were a pretense, a life that was not his. He contemplated killing Peter and taking his life. He became borderline suicidal and anti-social. This went on for years during which he pushed himself to the very edge self-destructively.
Putting aside how the original intent was for Ben to be the REAL Peter Parker, Ben’s behaviours display what a dark and dangerous place Peter could’ve gone to had he been in Ben’s position.
The intent of the Jackal and Norman Osborn in orchestrating the Clone Saga was to shatter Peter’s sense of identity. The Jackal wanted to do that in 1975 with a 22 year old Peter. Norman however knew the blow would hurt Peter much more when he had more to lose and so delayed it until 1995 when Peter would’ve been about 27 years old, had more of a career, longer and deeper connections to his loved ones, a wife and a baby on the way.
When he finally pulled the trigger Peter had also only recently recovered from a terrible mental breakdown, lost Aunt May, been falsely accused of murder, had his sense of identity further damaged by yet more clones of himself appearing and learned that he and MJ’s baby might have serious health problems if he was a clone.
In fact MJ’s first reaction upon learning Peter was a clone was to grip her tummy and express concern for her baby. And remember she directly told him a clone isn’t a real person.
When put in context  this caused Peter to have a SECOND mental breakdown. Entirely UNDERSTANDABLY!
This wasn’t a case of appreciating all he had because from his point of view being a clone meant he’d LOST all that. That he COULDN’T have that because he was less than human and not the real person that life belonged to.
If BEN reacted that way when he believed he was a clone then logically OF COURSE Peter was going to take it much, much, much worse.
“It should also be pointed out that during this period, Mary Jane's life was at risk and she was being stalked, again. This time by a clone. However, Peter was once again nowhere to be seen.”
Oh my fucking…HE HAD BEEN ARRESTED!
He wasn’t around because he was literally incarcerated in prison. Breaking out risked exposing his identity and thus endangering MJ and the baby. He also didn’t KNOW she was being stalked. When he found out in ASM #401 he broke out of jail and sought to find her. Later when Ben offered to take his place in jail Peter went on the hunt for MJ’s stalker, his clone Kaine whom he ALSO suspected as the guy who framed him.
Gee, proactively seeking out the guy threatening your wife and who might’ve framed you?
What a shitty husband, it’s not like that’s an entirely practical consideration to take or anything.
“In Heindsight...”
Oh this outta be good
“I could go over every other moment where Peter treated his wife like crap,”
Except he rarely did and the examples you’ve brought up do not hold up to scrutiny in the slightest because you are a clown show of an analyst.
“but those are the huge ones.”
No they aren’t, see above.
“Looking back at the upset of 2007, it's clear that anyone who got mad didn't actually read any of the stories written while Peter and Mary Jane were married.”
That’s so very rich coming from this dipshit, see above.
“Even then, over the past decade there has been a plethora of great Spider-Man stories.”
That’s true.
Agent Venom by Rick Remender
Carnage Family Feud
Carnage USA
Half of Scarlet Spider by Chris Yost
Bits of Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider by Peter David
AXIS Hobgoblin
AXIS Carnage
Carnage by Gerry Conway
Silk by Robbie Thompson
Superior Foes of Spider-Man
ASM: Renew Your Vows
The issue where Flash Thompson lost his legs
The story regarding the Rhino and his girlfriend
Spider-Man 2099 by Peter David
Notice how none of that stuff focuses upon 616 Peter Parker.
Because between 2008-2018 there were no good stories focussing upon 616 Peter Parker.
At best there were mediocre stories focussing upon the pathetic man-child that was Spider-Man in name only.
“In fact, I'd even argue that Dan Slott's run on Spider-Man has contained some of the best Spider-Man stories of the past two decades.”
And you’d just further confirm yourself to be a moron who doesn’t have the first warm shit of a clue about how to analyse stories if you did.
“I can't think or a stellar Spider-Man run past 198 until Slott's run.”
ASM by JMS+Romita Junior
Sensational by Sacasa
Spec by DeMatteis+Buscema
Spec by DeMatteis+Ross
Marvel Knights by Mark Millar
Bits of Peter Parker: Spider-Man by Paul Jenkins
Hypothetically though let’s say they weren’t stellar.
They would still be OBJECTIVELY better than Dan Slott. Like who’s mothers did Michelinie, DeFalco or any of the above guys murder for you to claim Slott was better than them.
None of those guys:
Had Peter become a paparazzi photographer
Had Aunt May claim she was disappointed in Peter for not supporting her the night Uncle Ben died
Had Doc Ock try to rape Mary Jane
Created a clear cut Mary Sue to upstage Spidey in his own book
Turned Spider-Man into Diet Iron Man
Killed off a Ditko-era character for no other reason beyond a shock death. Except Mark Millar but the character was extremely minor
“Next to JMS' run, Slott has been the best Spider-Man writer in decades.”
Again, notice how he CONVENIENTLY neglected to bring up stuff from the JMS run when MJ and the marriage was written the best.
His criteria for judging MJ literally JUST included:
ASM by Michelinie run from 1989-1994
ASM by DeMatteis in 1994
Conway’s Spec/Web runs from 1988-1989
Spec #226 by DeFalco in 1995
Mackie’s PPSM run from 1997
The Mackie/Byrne run from 1999-2001
That was it.
He stated the marriage lasted between 1987-2007 but his analysis halted at 2001. He’s leaving out 6 goddam years worth of material in addition to ALL the other material he conveniently ignored before then.
“Where to Go From Here?
That raises some interesting questions. Will Peter and Mary Jane tie the knot again? It seems like Marvel is marrying characters off again (Colossus and Kitty Pryde as well as Gambit and Rogue) so that's promising.
Another is the promising thing is that the alternate reality series Renew Your Vows has been doing very well.
The last point is the main reason why they nixed the marriage to begin with: Needing a Spider-Man younger readers can relate with.”
The main reason they nixed it was because Quesada was butthurt Gwen died in 1973 and that MJ got to marry him instead.
“For the past number of years they have been promoting the hell out of Miles Morales, the "Ultimate" Spider-Man. They have been grooming him to be the young Spidey that they want for younger fans.”
Maybe don’t use the term ‘grooming’ in the context of a teenage character there buddy.
“While that doesn't mean Peter and MJ are destined to get married again, hopefully they will allow Peter to at least grow up a little.”
I see.
Marriage = bad because it makes him unrelatable to the kids. But also this dipshit wants Peter to ‘grow up a little’…which is what he had done by marrying MJ in the first place.
“However, let me say this: Doing what's expected doesn't necessarily make for a good story, it's the unexpected.”
Why don’t you ask Star Wars and Game of Thrones fans what they think about that buddy?
“That's what made Slott's run on Spider-Man so great.”
That’s true. Nobody expected Slott would have Doc Ock masturbate in Peter’s body. Nobody expected him to drag out our suffering for as long as he did. Nobody expected he’d invoke such a juvenile idea as Norman Osborn becoming carnage.
“Let's hope Nick Spencer continues that tradition.’
Fuck the unexpected. Just give me competency.
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bestmusicalworldcup · 11 months
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2023 League of Musicals Division B
Division B of the League of Musicals consists of the 64 musicals in the league below Division A.
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Round 1 of Division B will begin tomorrow, June 29th.
The 64 musicals in Division B are listed below.
The Lightning Thief Six The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals Tick Tick Boom Urinetown Heathers Beetlejuice Sunday in the Park with George Be More Chill The Trail to Oregon! Jesus Christ Superstar Singin' in the Rain Anastasia Bare: A Pop Opera Starship 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Adamandi Bonnie and Clyde Holy Musical B@man! The Wizard of Oz (1987) American Psycho American Idiot Monty Python's Spamalot The Scarlet Pimpernel Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Death Note: The Musical Tanz der Vampire / Dance of the Vampires Tuck Everlasting A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum Dear Evan Hansen Cinderella (Rodgers and Hammerstein) Billy Elliot the Musical Evita The Prom A New Brain Grease La Cage aux Folles Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Kiss Me, Kate How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying A Little Night Music 1776 South Pacific Man of La Mancha Bye Bye Birdie Jersey Boys Two Gentlemen of Verona Thoroughly Modern Millie The Pajama Game Kiss of the Spider Woman Titanic The Mystery of Edwin Drood City of Angels Nine 42nd Street Passion Sunset Boulevard Fosse The Will Rogers Follies Damn Yankees Memphis Hallelujah, Baby! Applause A Strange Loop
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biggoonie · 4 years
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POWER PACK CLASSIC OMNIBUS VOL. 1
Written by LOUISE SIMONSON, TERRY AUSTIN, HOWARD MACKIE, JON BOGDANOVE, CHRIS CLAREMONT, WALTER SIMONSON, JO DUFFY & BILL MANTLO Penciled by JUNE BRIGMAN, MARY WILSHIRE, BRENT ANDERSON, SCOTT WILLIAMS, BOB MCLEOD, JON BOGDANOVE, TERRY SHOEMAKER, VAL MAYERIK, LARRY ALEXANDER, JOHN ROMITA JR., BARRY WINDSOR-SMITH, WALTER SIMONSON, TOM GRINDBERG, SAL VELLUTO & MORE Cover by JUNE BRIGMAN Alex, Julie, Jack and Katie Power have an amazing secret: With abilities gained from the alien Kymellians, the young siblings are Power Pack! But can they save their parents — and Earth — when the evil Snarks attack? Power Pack will be targeted by the Morlocks and the Bogeyman, battle Kurse and the Marauders, and face the horrors of homework and chores! But they’ll make friends along the way — including Spider-Man, Cloak and Dagger, the Warriors Three and the X-Men! And they’ll even gain a new teammate in young Franklin Richards! But can the kids triumph when they’re caught in the middle of the Snark/Kymellian War? Collecting POWER PACK (1984) #1-36, UNCANNY X-MEN (1981) #195 and #205, THOR (1966) #363, X-FACTOR ANNUAL #2, MARVEL GRAPHIC NOVEL: CLOAK AND DAGGER/POWER PACK — SHELTER FROM THE STORM and material from STRANGE TALES (1987) #13-14. 1160 PGS./Rated T …$125.00 ISBN: 978-1-302-92367-9 Trim size: oversized POWER PACK CLASSIC OMNIBUS VOL. 1 HC TBD ARTIST VARIANT (DM ONLY) 1160 PGS./Rated T+ …$125.00 ISBN: 978-1-302-92433-1
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cultofthepigeon · 5 years
Text
Venom Reading Order Part 1.
If you, like me,  wanted to check out the cool comic book character Venom, only to realize they are an American Comic Book Character which meant 700 issues over 30 years spanning 17 different comic series
This is the list for you
This list is in order of appearance in comics as they were released. The date of release is included for nostalgia factor and for any of yall out there doing theses about a comics place in history. 
This fist part of the list includes all cameos, starring roles, and side stories for Eddie Brock, the symbiote, and Venom. 
I’ve included small summaries/comments for those of you doing a more casual perusal/looking for a specific issues/are only interested in full starring roles etc. 
Special thanks to CMRO for giving me the bare bones layout of this list. Still missed a few but they were a phenomenal starting point and a website I recommend if you’re trying to dive into any particular Marvel character.  
I’d also like to thank Donny Cates, who spurned me on into reading my first Venom comic, which coincidentally, is more Venom comics than he’s ever read or written.
And yes, there’s links
Part 1. The Meet Cute All The Way to Baby’s First Mini Series
-Secret Wars #8-12  (December, 1984-April, 1985.) Mid Secret Wars. The story during which the goo is acquired and mistaken for a nifty costume
-The Amazing Spider-man #252-258 (Full story, but as a costume. The silent adventures of the goo and its imprisonment)
-Fantastic Four #274 (January, 1985) Side Story. The great goo escape
-Spectacular Spider-man #100 (March, 1985) Cameo. The goo hides. Also there’s a villain who’s big Thing is being covered in.....spots.
-Web of Spider-man #1 (April, 1985) Full story Goo goes to church
-The Spectacular Spider-man #107-110 (October 1985-January 1986.) No appearance. The Sin Eater arc, in case you wanna know what the FUCK anyone is talking about in the future
-Web of Spider-man #18 (May, 1986.) Cameo. Brief.You don’t know is a cameo until later)
-The Amazing Spider-man #298-300 (November 1987-January 1988.) Full story. The introduction of Venom
-The Amazing Spider-man #315-317 (January 1989-March 1989.) Full story. Escape via murder and re-incarceration via goo betrayal
-Quasar #6 (November, 1989.) Cameo. Attempted escape with banter
-The Amazing Spider-man #330-333 (January 1990-April 1990.) Full Story. Escape via fake suicide and re-incarceration via goo sacrifice
-The Amazing Spider-man #344-347 (December 1990-Mach 1991.) Full Story. The great boyfriend breakout followed by honeymoon. Cameo by My Dreaded Daughter Laramie
-The Amazing Spider-man Annual #25 (June, 1991) Side story. Truck stop of Doom! Otherwise known as a truck stop
-Marvel Graphic Novel #68 (July, 1991.) Full Story. Pretty OOC for the character up until this point, but they have a typewriter!
-Darkhawke #13 and #14 (January and February 1992.) Cameo. A few pages of this jabronie interrupting of Island Time
-The Amazing Spider-man #360-363 (N/A-March 1992.) Full Story. Carnage tim and re-incarceration via spider betrayal
-The Amazing Spider-man Annual #26 (June, 1992.) Side Story. Fist Kill Part 1/3
-Spectacular Spider-man Annual #12(June, 1992.) Side Story. First Kill Part 2/3
-Web of Spider-man Annual #8 (June, 1992.) Side Story. First Kill Part 3/3
-Spider-man Special Edition #1 (November, 1992.) Full Story. The Trial of Venom. The first time its brought up the alien might be in control but also jesus does spider man think in black and white
-Web of Spider-man #94 (September, 1992.) Idk why Venom was in this random truck but they were so now they’re free
-Ghost Rider & Blaze Spirits of Vengeance/Spirit of Venom #4 (September 1992.) Cameo. The start of a 5 part mini-series that’s the comic book equivalent of a homo-erotic supernatural 80′s action movie.Part 1/5
-Web of Spider-man #95 (October, 1992.) Full Story. Part 2/5
-Ghost Rider & Blaze Spirits of Vengeance/Spirits of Venom #5 (October, 1992.) Full Story. Part 3/5
-Web of Spider-man #96 (November, 1992.) Full Story. Part 4/5
-Spirits of Vengeance/Spirits of Venom #6 (November, 1992.) Full Story. Re-incarceration via rando. Juiciest panel of Venom to date. Part 5/5
-Marvel Comics Presents #117-122 (October-December 1992.) Side Story. A dreamy team up with Wolverine
-The Amazing Spider-man #373-375 (November 1992-January 1993.) Full Story. Venom escapes via idiots torturing them and stay escaped. Also known as: that one involving Spider-man’s parents
-Lethal Protector 1-6 (December 1992-May 1993). Full Story. Venom’s First Mini Series
NEXT>>>
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“While they're depicted as happy and in love, there are a lot of details that don't make sense.”
Oh boy I can’t wait to hear this from the pinnacle of comic book journalism that is Screenrant....
20��EVERYTHING ABOUT "ONE MORE DAY"
 Okay fair enough
 19 THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON
 Sense of humour. Study different forms of science. Science and acting are both about making sense of life. Troubled childhoods. Living double lives. Living with guilt over relegating on responsibilities which hurt your family. Immense inner strength. Oh and btw having shit in common isn’t the be all and end all of romantic relationships so shut up.
 “It's possible for two people to love each other and not have much in common. ”
 That’s what I said.
 “At some point, however, a couple needs to have something to build a relationship on.”
 And they did see above and add in being one another’s friends, confidants and support group.
 “Peter Parker and Mary Jane couldn't be further apart from each other in almost every single way. He's a science geek with a weird sense of humor and no social skills.”
 Also heroic, also gult ridden, also responsible, also inner strength, also working class, also lost a parent, also lived a double life....like MJ.
 “Meanwhile, MJ is an aspiring model/actress, except for when she's a super successful model/actress.”
 Everyone knows model/actress = a personality right.
 “In recent years, she's shown a more entrepreneurial side, but that still involved opening a nightclub, the sort of place where Peter doesn't fit in at all. They say opposites attract, but there comes a point where that just becomes nonsensical.”
 Yes there is but that point is well beyond the ways in which Peter and MJ are opposite to one another because their traits often balance one another out.
 18 THEY GOT TOGETHER WAY TOO SOON AFTER GWEN'S DEMISE
 They got together almost 2 years after Gwen died shut up.
 “Time in comic books is a funny thing. The Marvel Universe has a sliding timescale, meaning that it's hard to peg down when stories took place in relation to each other. The time that passes in the real world means nothing. That being said, Peter and MJ started dating way too soon after Gwen Stacy's demise.”
 Canonically its still 2 years so shut up.
 “She lost her life in Amazing Spider-Man #121 (1973) by Gerry Conway and Gil Kane. By the end of the next issue, the seeds were being planted for them to get together. They didn't immediately start dating, but Peter seemed to get over his "one, true love" suspiciously fast”
 2 years isn’t too fast and she wasn’t his one true love. Nobody has a one true love.
 17 SHE FLIP-FLOPS ON PETE'S LIFE AS SPIDER-MAN
This list is about stuff that doesn’t make sense. Anybody dating a superhero is probably going to flip flop over their own or their loved ones’ lives being potentially endangered by super powered serial killers.
 “Look, dating a superhero must be hard. Nobody can blame someone for not wanting to deal with it, or trying to convince a loved one not to risk their life. Also, it can make having a social life impossible. It's understandably frustrating, but at some point, enough is enough.
It seems like Mary Jane can't make up her mind about Peter's life as Spider-Man.”
 Obviously she can because she chose to date him, chose to marry him and stayed with him all the time sans stories where she was written as OOC.
 She both likes it and dislikes it which makes her compelling and its realistic too. She doesn’t HAVE to make up her mind definitively and every day stay on track with liking or hating it because people flip flop over shit all the time.
 Shit Spider-Man himself flip flops about BEING SPIDER-MAN!
 “Sometimes she's fully supportive, while other times she wants him to quit. ”
Gee its almost like something as dangerous as a superhero’s life would have lots of factors that impact how you feel depending upon what side of the bed you got up from.
 Also she never wanted him to quit outside of when she was OOC. She only once wanted him to remain retired when she was heavily pregnant.
 “Considering that she knew Peter was Spider-Man before she even met him, it's time for her to figure out her feelings and make a decision. ”
 a)                  She did, hence they married
b)                  She doesn’t need to make a decision YOU the individual reader want her to but realistically the character for her own sake doesn’t have to
 “They both know he's not going to give up being a hero, so it's time to be grown ups.”
 16 THEIR ENGAGEMENT WAS SUPER QUICK
In the history of mankind there have been quicker engagements.
Shit STAN LEE got married super quick, he married his wife Joan of 60 something years literally the day she got divorced.
“In Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 (1987) by David Michelinie, Jim Shooter, and Paul Ryan, Peter Parker married Mary Jane. Behind the scenes, this occurred because Stan Lee wanted Spider-Man to get married in the newspaper comic strip that he was writing at the time. Marvel liked the idea, and decided to have them get married in the comics as well.
The problem was that they were broken up at the time. So, the writers had to quickly bring her back, rekindle the romance, have Peter propose, and then get married.”
 This is total fucking bullshit.
Mary Jane had been a mainstay in the titles for over 4 years before the wedding, being the most recurring character sans Spider-Man himself.
Moreover broken up isn’t strictly accurate, Peter and Mj years prior to their wedding had been effectively dating whilst being in denial about it to one another or publicly.
Their romance and love was always there they just weren’t being honest about it until Peter proposed.
Yeah the proposal-wedding was a few issues, but the romantic tension and relationship had been years in the making.
“Anyone that's ever planned a real wedding knows how unrealistic this whole timeline was.”
Yeah unless you were having a quick wedding at city hall with a small ceremony and there was a time skip before and during the final part of the story where they tie the knot.
15 DO THEY HAVE A BABY OR NOT?
“The second Clone Saga that ran during the mid '90s had one of the most confusing endings ever written. Basically, the writers needed to finish Ben Reilly's storyline while also tying up all of Peter's loose ends to make it possible for Peter to become Spider-Man again. One of these plot threads was the fact that Mary Jane was pregnant.
The editors felt that Spider-Man being a dad would age him, so they suggested that Mary Jane not have the baby, after all. However, it was also heavily implied at the time that Norman Osborn had the baby taken away. This storyline was teased for a few years, before ultimately being forgotten about.”
This list is about things that do not make sense. This list is not about things that are merely unresolved.
14 WHY DOES PETER STILL USE THE BLACK SUIT?
“In Amazing Spider-Man #299 (1988) by David Michelinie and Todd McFarlane, Venom made his frightening first appearance. Mary Jane thought she saw Peter wearing his black costume, until a mouth formed and turned into a horrific smile. Venom didn't hurt Mary Jane, but the experience was still pretty traumatic for her.
After Spidey defeated the villain, Mary Jane asked him to stop wearing the black costume. This made sense, and Peter happily obliged. Except, he keeps bringing the costume back from time to time.”
 Yeah and it’s justified each time.
He brought it back in the 1990s during McFarlane’s run because he needed something stealthy and he discussed this with MJ.
He brought part of it back in the Clone Saga because he had nothing else to wear but it wasn’t the whole suit.
He brought it back during the Mackie run with Larsen because again he had nothing else to wear and MJ was presumed dead at the time anyway.
He wore it again in Back in Black at a time where he wasn’t wearing it in front of MJ and wanted to send a message to criminals that he was now going to be a more violent and scary fucker (it worked).
He wore it again in Brand New Day when he was impersonating Venom and he and MJ were broken up.
He wore it again in ASM #800 when he needed the power boost from the symbiote to beat Red Goblin.
And all this aside, MJ got over her fear of Venom anyway.
So rather than making no sense each individual instance actually did add up.
“Sometimes there's a specific reason, other times he just seems to feel like wearing it. He knows it scares his wife, but apparently Peter likes the way it looks too much to care.”
Not true as I just explained. Peter himself doesn’t even LIKE the suit anymore.
13 HOW SUCCESSFUL IS HER CAREER?
“Not everyone is a fan of Peter and Mary Jane's relationship. While many fans love her, some feel that it's weird for Peter Parker to be married to a supermodel. That can be a valid complaint, but the problem is that Mary Jane has had one of the most inconsistent careers ever.
She's constantly moving between being a struggling model, a highly sought after model, a soap opera actress, and even giving up on show business completely multiple times. It's understandable for careers to have ups and downs, but it seems like the writers can't even decide if she's famous or not.”
Because a model and actresses career and fame can’t fluctuate right?
 12 THEY'VE BOTH DEALT WITH TOO MANY STALKERS
WTF is too many exactly when one of you is a famous-semi-famous actress and model and the other is a superhero?
Like shit dude, there are people, a lot of them women, who aren’t famous and can have stalkers.
“In the late '90s, Marvel's first attempt to undo Spider-Man's marriage resulted in Mary Jane getting on a plane which then exploded mid-flight.”
Technically that was not their first attempt.
“For the next year or so, everyone believed she had passed away. Instead, she had been snatched away by a deranged stalker, who caused the explosion so that no one would look for her.
Before that, Mary Jane had to deal with Jonathan Ceaser, who attempted to take her away several times in the early '90s.”
 OP misspelled ‘once’ as ‘several times’.
 “Even Peter had to deal with his ex girlfriend, Felicia Hardy, dating Flash Thompson just so she could be near him during that same time period. ”
That isn’t a stalker.
“People really need to give these two their privacy.”
 Again...not a thing that doesn’t make sense which is the point of the article.
 11 THEY BREAK UP CONSTANTLY
constantly
Dictionary result for constantly
/ˈkɒnst(ə)ntli/
adverb
1.    continuously over a period of time; always.
 Hmmmmmm...doesn’t seem to add up with breaking up:
 For the first time in the late 1970s.
Again in Spider-Man vs. Wolverine.
Trial separating (which isn’t a proper break up) in 2001.
Seperating for real in OMD/OMIT
Breaking up again in Superior when it wasn’t even the real Spider-Man. And no her dumping him again twice doesn’t count.
 Gee, four break ups across 40+ years = constantly apparently.
 “Comic books can't just rely on action, they also need to have drama. One of the most common places writers create drama is in the hero's relationships. It's probably very hard to date a superhero, and it's understandable that not everyone would want to sign up for that ride. At some point, however, enough is enough.”
 I’m not saying I’m innocent of lazily repeating the same words and phrases over and over again, but I also don’t get paid to write for a big website.
 Also, wtf does enough’s enough even mean?
They broke up a few times, one due to genuine issues, once because of a misunderstanding, once because MJ wasn’t well and Peter was OOC (which doesn’t count) and every other time also because they were both OOC.
 “It's hard to feel bad for them when Peter and Mary Jane break up, because they do it all the time. He's always focusing on saving people, she's constantly moving to another part of the country to work on her career. When Mephisto forced them to break-up, he could've just waited a few months and gotten the same result.”
Again all the time and constantly does not = 4 times across 40 years.
Also that wasn’t Mephisto’s endgame but whatever.
10 HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE OTTO'S MIND IN PETER'S BODY
Hey look, the secod legitimate point on this list. The answer was because bad writing.
9 HOW DO THEY AFFORD THEIR APARTMENTS?
“A common complaint across various forms of fiction is that characters always seem to be able to afford apartments that they shouldn't be able to. For Spider-Man and Mary Jane, however, it's pretty bad. Of course, there are times when Mary Jane's career is going very well, which explains how they can afford a nice apartment.
For the most part, however, Peter is a struggling photographer and she's a struggling model. Somehow, they are consistently able to afford apartments with giant skylights. ”
 If this happens across most fiction in ways which aren’t more egregious than anything else (because Joey and Chandler’s apartment is egregious given their jobs) then it’s not worth mentioning on this list.
“Seriously, Tony Stark would struggle to afford some of the places they've lived in over the years.”
He really wouldn’t.
8 PETER WAS SUPER SHALLOW ABOUT MEETING HER
First off he wasn’t super shallow, he was as shallow as you would expect any teenager to be in that situation.
Also, a teenager being shallow. Thats certainly something that doesn’t make sense and belongs on a list entirely about shit that makes no sense.
“In the early stories, Peter could be kind of shallow. Granted, he was a teenager, but he always just seemed interested in dating the prettiest girls. ”
Ugh...no he didn’t. He asked out 3 young women who were all relatively attractive but none of whom were like compared to Hollywood starlets of the era. There was something of an implication that Betty Brant, his high school love, was not as attractive as the more glamorous Liz Allan whom he typically rebuffed in favour of Betty.
Also if we’re playing the ‘its super shallow to just date the hottest people you can’ then Peter and MJ were no worse than one another at those ages.
“Considering that he was always getting bullied and picked on, he should've been more understanding.”
a)        Being bullied and picked on isn’t innately going to make you more understanding of anybody
b)        Understanding of who? Who was he being inconsiderate towards exactly? He asked out two girls he was attracted to, attraction being an involuntary thing in the first place. He presumed his elderly not hip aunt who described MJ as being a good house wife was going to pick someone unattractive or boring, especially considering that if she was going to be set up with him she probably couldn’t get a date with anyone else. Meaning in his teenage head she must be unattractive
“Then, when he found out that she was beautiful, he was suddenly interested. ”
 My God how dare characters as teens be shallow and flawed. It makes no seeeeeeense!
 “It turns out, Peter's type was "any girl that looks good, regardless of her interests or personality."”
 That’s true which is why he quickly began to turn away from MJ because he found her shallow and preferred Gwen who was seemingly not shallow...
 7 WHY DID SHE NEED TO BE SET UP WITH PETER IN THE FIRST PLACE?
...huh?
 “Every comic book fan knows the story of how Peter and MJ met. A recurring plot line in early Spider-Man stories was Aunt May constantly trying to set Peter up with her friend's niece. The two didn't actually meet until The Amazing Spider-Man #43 (1966) by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, when Peter opened the door and she said the iconic phrase "face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!"”
 Wow...the degree of incompetence in this paragraph is truly impressive.
 First of all it was ASM #42 not #43...how do you fuck that up. More importantly it was with Lee and Romita Senior not Lee and Ditko. SERIOUSLY how do you fuck that up.
 “What's weird about this, however, is that Mary Jane was a beautiful and outgoing girl. Peter was busy being Spider-Man, and was considered a nerd by his peers, so it's understandable that he'd need help getting dates. Mary Jane, on the other hand, should have been doing just fine.”
 Lets ignore how this was explained in Parallel Lives a story which has a major plot point referenced by the article more than once.
...why is this presumption Mj NEEDED to be set up. Maybe she just agreed as a favour to her aunt.
6 HOW DID SHE KNOW TO SAY THE JACKPOT LINE?
Because she knew she was sexy and could tell by his reaction he didn’t realize that and was taken aback by it.
“Ok, this might seem like a nitpick,”
Why let that bother you now.
 “The famous scene where Peter and Mary Jane first meet plays out like this: Peter answers the door, and Mary Jane is standing and delivers the famous line. It's a memorable moment, but it also doesn't make any sense.
Mary Jane never met Peter before this.”
Not formally no, but yes she had and knew what he looked like.
“How did she know she was a "jackpot" for him? Maybe she wasn't his type?”
His reaction spelled it out for her.
“For all she knew, he could have answered the door and been very disappointed. Also, maybe he wouldn't care what she looked like? It was a pretty arrogant thing to say, looking back, and she's lucky it didn't backfire.”
 *rolls eyes* oh fuck off.
5 THE REASON SHE CALLS HIM TIGER MAKES NO SENSE
“For years, everyone focused on the "jackpot" part of Mary Jane's famous introduction, but apparently, Peter was focused on a different part. Apparently, he never understood why she called him "tiger," especially because the nickname stuck. In all honesty, it's a good question. Especially during those early years, Peter Parker was anything but a "tiger."
In the original Clone Saga that ran during 1975, Peter actually asked Mary Jane for the reason. It turns out, it's because he's not a tiger and she's just playfully teasing him. That's fine, except why did she say it the first time she met him? How did she know he wasn't a "tiger?"”
a)           Because she called everyone that
b)           Because Aunt May and Aunt Anna probably told her about him
 4 THEY DON'T EVEN TRY TO HIDE KNOWING EACH OTHER
Yeah they do.
 “Peter's never been great at keeping a secret identity.”
Yeah that is why hardly anyone knew it before Civil War...
 “His entire scheme is that he takes pictures of himself fighting crime as Spider-Man, and then pretends that he's just Spidey's photographer. He's basically telling everyone that he's connected to the wall-crawler in some way.”
Yet it worked so obviously he is good at hiding it.
 “Even worse, whenever Spider-Man runs into Mary Jane, they often blatantly talk to each other in public. They always forget to pretend that Mary Jane isn't supposed to know Spider-Man. ”
He talks to lots of people in public and MJ has the easy cover story of knowing/dating Spider-Man’s friend Peter Parker.
“That, or they go way over the top and really awkwardly state that they don't know each other.”
No they don’t.
“At some point, someone's going to notice Spidey flirting with Peter Parker's wife and put two and two together.”
Yet they never have so...
 3 HOW DID SHE FIGURE OUT HIS SECRET ID?
“As previously stated, Peter is kind of terrible at keeping a secret identity. ”
As previously stated no he isn’t
“Often times, Peter doesn't even get caught as Spider-Man, people just end up figuring it out.”
Again a lie from the author who didn’t even know Romita Senior isn’t Steve Ditko.
“For example, after dating Peter during the '70s and the '80s, Mary Jane broke up with him, moved away, and then came back to New York. ”
Actually they broke up in the 70s and began dating after she returned in the 80s.
“When she returned, she revealed that she had figured out his secret.
While that made sense, later stories contradicted this. It was eventually revealed that she saw Peter leaving his house dressed as Spider-Man the night Uncle Ben died. So, she didn't figure it out. Obviously, this was a retcon, but the result is that Mary Jane lied to Peter. She didn't figure anything out!”
a)           Seeing Peter Parker enter an abandoned house and Spider-Man emerge would count as figuring out his identity
b)           She never actually told him directly she figured it out like she was a goddam detective
2 THEY BOTH KEEP HANGING AROUND THEIR EXES
As do most comic book characters...
“Both Peter and Mary Jane had healthy dating lives before marrying one another. There's nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, it's strange how they're both constantly hanging around their exes. ”
Or refreshingly healthy...
“Peter still brings Black Cat around constantly, and he and Betty Brant are still very close.”
He dated Betty as a friggin teenager and the author reaffirms he doesn’t understand what constantly means.
“Meanwhile, Mary Jane dated Harry Osborn while they were both in college, and the relationship did not end well for him. Now, years later, everyone is always hanging out together and that's a little strange. Hanging around with your exes typically leads to disaster, and based on how many ex-boyfriends and girlfriends are around, Peter's Spidey-sense should be tingling.”
Or again healthy and an affirmation of a deep bonded friendship that goes beyond personal baggage from when they were young and dumb.
1 GWEN WAS MEANT TO BE PETER'S TRUE LOVE, NOT MJ
Again, not something that doesn’t make sense. In fact it makes less sense for Gwen to be his true love since they were not a great match and true loves are fairy tale bullshit.
 “The end of Gwen Stacy is one of the most defining moments in comic book history. Up until that point, the hero saved the girl. Part of what made this story so memorable was that Gwen Stacy was always meant to be Peter's one true love.”
As far as Stan Lee was concerned yes but not everyone else.
Also OTLs are bullshit.
“Her demise rocked his world, and he's still affected by it, even to this day.
That's understandable, but it also strains Peter's relationship with MJ. She's always been understanding, but how many times can she come across him crying over Gwen's picture in the attic before it starts to effect her.”
He has literally never ever done this ever.
“She's constantly being reminded that she might be Peter's second choice.
Again with the misuse of constantly and no she isn’t because Peter has told and shown her she isn’t second best more than once.
And again, not a thing that doesn’t make sense however you slice it.
You what really doesn’t make sense.
This person being paid for this garbage.
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