#and definitely don’t want to be associated with any fandoms in particular

[ofmermaidstories]

Let me preface this by saying I did check your FAQ but I didn't see this there yet I still find it hard to believe no one has asked you this at least a thousand times so if they did and I just missed it I'm sorry and you can delete this ask but—

You write such beautiful, detailed fics with lots of foreshadowing that often starts from the very beginning of the story. I think you made an author note once about only posting the first chapter of a fic after you've written the whole thing (or maybe that was Andie...?). If so, is the time between updates just you going through and rereading / editing like 100k words?

Basically, I want to ask: what is your fic planning process like? From the moment you get a first idea to posting the last chapter, what does I look like? I think you're a really, really amazing (one of the absolute best if not THE best) author but I cannot fathom how one human being can write such mammoths of fanfiction and stay motivated enough to finish them.

Also you're already planning Halloween stuff ?? You plan things literally half a year in advance?? Are you even human? We don't deserve you. 😭

You called yourself lazy in the webcomic post but I think you must work unbelievably hard to make such high quality stuff and without even getting compensation for it. You're amazing and I'm very thankful to exist in the right timeline and fandom to read your work. :,)

(oh my god this became such a ramble I'm sorry)

Oh Ari. 🥺 Hello.

I update as I write! So that was probably Andie, lmao, who’s definitely the better example to follow when it comes to plotting/completing a fic. 🥺 She’s amazing and if I could fashion myself after any other writer in our niche, it would be Andie hands down!

But okay, let’s get into it. 📝

A little disclaimer, before we start; I did not go to school for any of this lmfao. The most relevant education I have behind me is a extra-circular literature class I had during my last two years of high-school. The only reason the following works for me is because I’ve cobbled it together from years of trial and error. You can read advice and watch youtube videos about the writing habits of famous authors, but you have to tailor everything you hear to suit you and the way you work. The best advice in the world from the highest paid author in the world won’t work if you’re not wired in the same way! You have to take everything about yourself and what you like and what you want into account!

Part I—first we take Manhattan

start ur fic lol

First thing’s first; I’m a plotter. I don’t pants. If I pants, I lose interest—I need to have the final vision in front of me, even if it’s just a bullet point. I have to know what I’m working towards. That is crucial to literally everything I do. Every fic you see on AO3, every WIP I’ve mentioned working on or wanting to work on—I have always known two things about them, immediately: the hook that gets us in there, and how they end.

So for fics in particular, the start might look something like—I get an idea (I want Reader and Bakugou to kiss). And then I sit there and I brainstorm to myself (What’s stopping them from kissing? Why does Reader want to kiss someone so rude when there’s so many other nice boys out there? Is Reader particularly kissable?). And then, if I’m lucky, I think of an ending (Reader and Bakugou finally kiss, but he’s the one that initiates it, because he’s always wanted to, because he likes that Reader always wears a yellow coat to work—it’s ugly and it sticks out among the black and tan ones of the crowd but he comes to associate it—and thus Reader—with routine and his mornings going well).

This is often the most fragile time of an idea. That hook (Reader and Bakugou kiss) might fall apart with a bit more prodding (why would they kiss? Reader’s a stranger to him; most of us don’t go around kissing random strangers just because we like their coats). Or maybe the hook sticks (they spend almost years in orbit around each other, a constant near-miss) but the ending doesn’t work (I don’t know how to move Bakugou to a position where he can kiss Reader, where he has the opportunity to). For every idea you see in action, or listed, there’s like three more that died during this stage and are now being cannibalised for spare parts.

Part II—running up that hill (a deal with fic)

work work work

If our idea survives, we then move to the “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks” stage; which manifests itself in this case as a doc, where I’ll just write any and all ideas I have for this little world so far.

For fanfics, it’ll generally look like—

TITLE

SUMMARY: Bakugou and Reader kiss.

(in which Bakugou first notices you because of your ugly yellow coat)

📝 Reader is allergic to diary products; for ages Bakugou thinks of her as That Cheesy Extra, because of the colour of her coat. She laughs when she eventually learns about this. (“I can’t even eat cheese,” you complain)

📝 Reader stops walking past the coffee shop Bakugou gets his coffee at, one day; moves??? Leaves the city to help a friend out for a few months. Despite himself it throws Bakugou off-kilter, and when he sees someone (not Reader) in a yellow coat during a villian attack, he momentarily loses focus—gets injured???? The news of his injury makes the news, Reader sees it in Bumblah nowhere.

📝 Her coat is donated accidentally by a roommate, in a mix up, for a charity she’s volunteering at; when Reader returns to the city, she has to make do with a new one, a more neutral colour. Bakugou recognises her anyway and that’s when he realises it was never about the coat (!!!!)

Like, this is actually a pretty good approximation of what all my current fics have looked like, at that stage, before I tidied them up and refined them into proper outlines. Because that’s what will happen next, once we have a rough idea of what we want! Things get moved, or removed—tightened. A rough plot outline takes shape! If I get any ideas for a sequel or a spin off that I might want to do, I’ll note them here (Reader’s roommate, Roomie, who’s working at a charity—eventually meets Shinsou, who’s working on a case. She thinks he’s homeless; he doesn’t realise. They carry on like this for a while.)

Once I have a rough outline (rough meaning in bulletpoints), I’ll start on my more in-depth outlines—I do these chapter by chapter! I say this a lot, but they’re basically a really rough version of said chapter. So it might look like:

Reader’s walking to work; it’s cold enough that’s she’s wearing her coat. There’s a new coffee-shop opened on the corner—it’s full, popular, you think it might be because it’s at a crossroads between two different Pro Hero agencies. Reader glances at the window, interested, but then a friend calls out and you hurry along. Bakugou, inside the coffee-shop waiting for Half and Half to get his order, is affronted; your coat is ugly as shit, and he complains loudly about it to Shouto, who mentions something about Baku. having no room to complain about ugly colour choices.

The swap between Reader/You happens a lot because I’m not using my brain properly, at this stage—I’m just shovelling the sand I need into the sandbox. Once I finish my shovelling, I go back and I rewrite it—but better, LMAO. I flesh things out, I throw things away as needed, I add things in. It’s basically really, really intensive handholding and I would not recommend it for anyone who’s already daunted by the idea of plotting; I do it because if I don’t have a chaperone there (aka my outline) then I’m prone to getting distracted. I am basically the fanfic equivalent of the undiagnosed ADHD kid at the back of the class that only gets work done when they’re sat right in front of the teacher (and even then, there’s like a 50% chance it’s not actually work that’s happening but doodles of that weird pointy S thing over and over again).

Once it’s done, though, we have a completed chapter! I then post it and wait like a little crab under some rocks for people to be tricked into being nice to me, and then I dig back in and think nice thoughts about repeating this process to get chapter two. Eventually I will—and viola! Another chapter! We repeat that over and over until we get to the end of our original outline and we have a finished story. 😌📖

Part III—you’re on your own kid

motivation

No one ever likes this part, or what I’m about to say, because at best it sounds like saccharine fodder and at worse it’s out of touch with most people’s experiences in fandom, but—the only way to stay motivated when doing a long-haul fic is that you have to do it for yourself.

People are so kind to me, about the fics I’ve done; it’s part luck and part what I choose to write and part how I write it. And I mean—I share them because I want a little bit of attention, lmao, that’s natural because we’re humans, we all want attention. But here’s the thing, here’s the secret—I take these fics 110% deadly seriously. LOL. That sounds like a joke, but I do! I do that because it’s how I’m built and how I keep myself interested in them—because taking them seriously means I’m more invested in realising the ending I’ve imagined for them since day one.

If other people stopped being so nice about what I was writing, I would be sad—anyone would. 🥺 We all want to be told that we’ve done a good job. But I’ve had the ending for the Deku fic, for example, in my head since it’s predecessor was on-going. That is literal years of knowing how I want Izuku and Scribble’s story to end. If everyone disappeared tonight I would sulk, hardcore, and then I would finish that last chapter anyway. I would finish it because I’ve spent so much time and energy working on that story that not finishing it is a disservice to the world I built around those characters and most importantly to myself. I probably wouldn’t stress as much about it, LOL, if the audience shrunk back down to just me, but I’d still do it. 🥺

I write—and try to finish—these fics because I deserve to see them finished. I want the completed tick, on ao3. I want to look at it and know that I can do it—that I can start something as simple as Bakugou hating on some rando’s yellow coat, and bring it to the finish-line where they finally come together, and see each other, without the yellow coat or through a coffee-shop window.

And this is what I mean by like, tailoring things to suit you—because I know others might be perfectly content to imagine the ending for themselves, without writing it. Or maybe they don’t want to treat fic seriously, because it’s fun escapism. Maybe disappointment that it’s not received like they thought it would be sours the whole experience of fandom for someone—there’s no right or wrong to this. I know I can write for an audience of just me because I’ve done it before. The satisfaction has always come back to the same thing—knowing I finished it, and wrapped that world up as best as I could. You have to pick and choose your poison—and then you have to run with it.

I hope that answers at least some of your questions, Ari. 🥺 Thank-you for such a thoughtful ask; for being so sweet. 🥺 You’re amazing, and I’m the thankful one—I’m glad we’re here, together. 🌷🌾✨📖

#ofmermaidstories-asks #ari do i have a tag for you? 🧐 hmMMMm #anyways i hope you have a good week and that this was at least a tiny bit helpful lmao #i should link it…. ugh i should overdo my whole masterpost tbh 😩 this is where the lazy comes in bc id rather stare at my wall tbh LMAO #first we take manhattan—then we take berlin 🎵 #writing stuff

[jennifersminds]

I LOVE your writing, do you have any advice for new writers?

hello !!! thank you so much anon <333 truly means so much to me 🎀🩷

I’m definitely not the best person for advice because I (to my detriment - looking at you months long hiatus) I mostly wing it but there are a few things I think are good to keep in mind,

1. might seem stupid but have fun !! and remember that you’re writing for fun. Write fics because they excite you and they’re something you want to see. Don’t get caught up in the numbers and worrying about what people will think, I thought Plastic Crown would literally be read by like ten people max because it was so absurd but (and I’m so unbelievably grateful seriously everyone who enjoys that fic,, i love u, i would fight your enemies in a mcdonald’s parking lot) I was wrong.

I mean, take with a grain of salt since every fic I wrote is drowning in self indulgence but still. Fanfic is fun! So have fun with it.

2. Super hypocritical but storyboard !! I’m currently experiencing the worst fkn writers block because I didn’t and now i’m trying to get everything planned before I update lmao

Another thing that saved me and actually got me stared in writing was my notes app. i’d put excerpts from fics I was reading that I felt really captured the vibe I wanted to create between or within characters. Random pieces of dialogue. details and just vague prompts and it’s a lifesaver.

3. Going back to point one kinda, try not to compare your fics to other people’s. That goes for Stats, reviews, writing styles, all of it. It’s pointless, fic is totally subjective and everyone’s gonna have their own vibe so just stick to working on yours.

4. Try and make stuff for your fic, seriously Pinterest boards, collages, gif sets, spotify playlists. Build up the world you wanna write about so it’s something that you feel you can just step into. Make it visceral and exciting even if it’s just exciting to you.

5. have like a drink or something that you associate with writing, for me it’s pink monster energy but for the sake of your heart maybe pick something different. like tea or anything not drowning in vague chemicals and caffeine. Can be anything like a candle, a playlist, just something to get in the vibe.

6. Talk about your fics, friends are a lifesaver in fandom, I cannot tell you how many times @vorpalmuchness and @katherineholmes have helped me figure something out just by letting my talk at them until something clicks. Vorpal in particular has suffered through that many many times (ily bestie ty for the face times)

7. and finally, write badly. seriously, just word vomit into a google doc if you’re struggling. Atleast then you have a jumping off point. It’s so rarely going to be a slam dunk on your first try so just,, do it. Get it out, get the vibe and run with it

Anyway, thank you so much for the ask anon. I hope atleast some of this helps xx

#fic #asks <3 #anon #writing #plastic crown #tvd #elena gilbert #elejah

[emotionalcadaver]

Part 19: In the Bleak Midwinter

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Grace Burgess x OC

Summary: Tommy begins to recover and Lucy visits a church--but not for absolution.

Word Count: 6,599

Notes: Warnings for depictions of violence, blood, mild sexual content, and references to sexual assault.

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 15: Sinful Rosary

She didn’t leave his side until he could stand on his own, watching anxiously from her chair when he braced his hand against the doctor’s, the other pushing down on the bed, face hardening with silent determination as he rose to his feet. Steady. 

He’d made great improvements over such a short amount of time. It really shouldn’t have been that surprising. It was Tommy after all.

They’d removed the halo brace, though they’d kept the patch of hair on his head shaved until the stitches from his incisions were ready to come out. But he looked considerably better; the shadows around his eyes had retreated, color returning to his face. He’d lost maybe a little weight from his time laying in the hospital bed, but not enough to lose too much of his muscle definition. When he caught her staring at his naked torso from where she was folded into her chair, he shot her a smirk, eyebrow raising smugly.  

Handsome bastard. Even with that ridiculous bald spot on his head.

But he wasn’t cleared for sex yet. Nor would he probably be for a while. Which wasn’t that much of a problem while he was still in hospital, but it might prove to be once he was allowed to return home. They never had been particularly good at keeping their hands off each other. 

Okay, it was a little bit of a problem even with him still in the hospital. But that was only because he’d apparently decided to forgo clothes during his recovery. She was pretty sure he hadn’t put on anything besides his white cotton boxers the entire time he’d been there.

“I can feel you staring at me,” the rumble of his voice brought her back to herself, pulling her out of her lewd daydreams while she watched the muscles in his back flex when he lifted his cigarette to his lips, head tilted upwards towards the windows. Imagining how those muscles in his back would flex when he…

She shook her head, forcing herself to stop that particular train of thought before it got out of control, even as her thighs squeezed together. “Sorry.”

He looked over his shoulder at her, smirking. “I don’t mind.” 

Rising from her chair, she went to join him, humming happily when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer until her head was resting on his chest. She looped her arms around his torso, still handling him gingerly even though he kept insisting that he was fine. 

“You’re sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Better than I have in a while actually, love.”

“That’s just ‘cos you’re still on the morphine.” 

“Probably,” he kissed the top of her head. “You said once I was able to stand on my own you would look into if anyone talked.”

“Mhm. I had some of our boys look into if there was any suspicious contact made to Hughes or any of his associates within the few days before you tried to kill him.”

Tommy loosened his grip on her, sitting down on the edge of the bed, tapping the ash of his cigarette into the tray on the bedside table. She sat down beside him, taking the cigarette when he offered it to her. 

“Scudboat says that he spoke to some people who were attending church on Good Friday. They told him that there was a woman that came in who insisted on being seen for confessional even though they weren’t holding any that day. Figured I’d start there. The priests who work there are associated with Hughes.”

Tommy nodded slowly, bringing the cigarette to his lips after she passed it back to him. “I don’t want you going down to that church all on your own.”

Lucy frowned. “I’ll be careful–”

“So was I and I got my head smashed in.”

Okay, fair point. “I’ll take Johnny Dogs with me.”

The idea seemed to relax Tommy somewhat. “Okay. Good.”

“Ada said she would be coming by later.”

“You mean to babysit me while you’re off gutting a priest?” but he smiled good naturedly when she opened her mouth to argue. “It’s fine.”

“It'll make me feel a little better.”

“I know.”

She kissed his cheek before standing, halfway to the door when he called after her. 

“There are some reports from last week that need to be reviewed and signed. If you wouldn’t mind stopping by the office while you’re there.”

She glanced back at him from the doorway. “Yes, boss.”

His eyes snapped up to hers, and even from across the room, she could tell his pupils had dilated a little. “Careful,” he growled, tone playful. Lucy grinned, trying to ignore the flutter in her core, and stepped out into the hall. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

She met up with Johnny a few blocks away from the church, laughing when he pulled her into a bear hug. 

“Lucy, you little demon! How are ya?”

“You know, I’ve had better years, Johnny.”

His smile wavered. “How is he? Really?”

“He’s recovering well. Doctors are saying that if he continues improving at the rate he is, he can come home soon.”

Johnny nodded. “Good. Don’t know what we would do without the bastard.”

“Yeah,” she jerked her head. “It’s this way,” she started to guide him down the road that would eventually lead them to the church.

“So what is it that you wanted me to do?”

“Ideally? Just stand there while I talk to him. Watch the doors and make sure I don’t get ambushed by any soldiers for hire that may or may not be lurking in any corners.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Lucy, but isn’t this something you could have just done on your own?”

“Probably, yeah. But Tommy didn’t want me to go alone after what happened to him.”

Johnny’s lips pulled into a grin, a knowing twinkle entering his eyes. “Ah.”

Lucy rolled her eyes, stuffing her hands into her pockets and looking away so he wouldn’t notice the slight pink blush blooming across her cheeks. Johnny had always been enthusiastically accepting and encouraging of her particular relationship with Tommy. It made sense, considering that Johnny himself had multiple wives. 

“So does that mean that Tom’s alone over there at the hospital?” Johnny asked. They’d rounded the corner, the church at the end of the road coming into view.

“Ada’s with him,” reaching into her pocket, she plucked her revolver from its holster, checking it. Satisfied, she put it back, snug against her ribs. When they got to the church steps, she hesitated, staring up at the huge doors disdainfully. 

“Lucy?” Johnny asked. She sighed, taking a deep breath, and stepped forward onto the consecrated ground, letting out a small sigh of relief. Johnny looked at her in puzzlement. 

“Sorry. Bad memories,” she explained. All churches, especially Catholic churches, inflicted the same queasy feelings of uneasiness within her. Less than happy moments from her childhood dredged up to haunt her. That and the always enduring fear that stepping inside one would cause her to burst into flames. Johnny’s expression turned sympathetic, following closely behind her up the steps and to the doors leading into the church. 

Flexing her fingers once, Lucy rolled her neck from side to side, drawing herself up to her full height, clearing her throat. Then she slammed the doors open with a resounding boom that echoed throughout the entire building, ensuring that she stepped with enough force that every footfall thundered loudly. It was the middle of an afternoon on a weekday, so there weren’t that many parishioners; the few that were kneeling or sitting in pews looking up at the comotion. 

“Get out,” Lucy ordered, voice loud and echoing like an explosion in the otherwise silence of the church. “Now!”

The people in the pews scrambled, grabbing at their coats and bibles before filing out towards the doors. 

“Check the confessionals,” Lucy told Johnny, stalking to the altar, where a priest was standing, frozen with his mouth half open in shock. She could hear Johnny opening the doors to the confessionals, glancing in to make sure there was no one hiding in the dark shadows of the little booths. She waited until the big wooden doors swung closed behind the last of the parishioners, coming to a stop in front of the priest with her hands clasped behind her back. 

“Hullo,” she smiled sweetly. The priest finally gained back enough of his motor functions to close his mouth, swallowing harshly. Lucy cocked her head. “Were you the priest taking confessions here on Good Friday?” 

“There were no confessionals offered on Good Friday, miss,” he spoke in a shaky voice. Good. Scared was good; useful. 

“Ah, but there was, wasn’t there? One, according to our boys. A woman. She came here and demanded a priest take her confession.”

The priest pressed his trembling lips together. Lucy looked him up and down.

“So. Was it you who saw her? Or was it one of your fellow clergy? And don’t lie,” she added when he opened his mouth to answer. “You won’t like what I’ll do if I think you are.”

“It was me,” he straightened his back. Trying to be brave despite the slight tremor she could see in his hands. With Johnny Dogs there watching her back she could focus her full attention on the priest, picking apart each and every one of his little reactions to use against him. 

“Hm,” she pressed her lips into a small smile, eyes narrowing. “Who was she?”

“I can’t-I can’t say–”

“Oh, yes you can. And you will. It just depends how much pain you would like to go through before you do,” she considered whether she ought to use the razors sewn into her hat, or the blade sheathed in her belt. The razors would allow her to slash as she pleased, but the blade would let her be more precise in her cuts…

Decisions, decisions. 

She took a step towards the priest, and he cringed back. 

“You can’t…not here…” he said. Lucy raised an eyebrow.

“No?” she drew the blade from her belt. In one quick movement she slashed out with it, slicing through the air and catching him across the cheek. Not cutting deep enough to do any real damage, just enough to draw blood. The priest yelped, jumping away with a hand flying to his face. “Hm. It seems like I can.”

“I cannot divulge what was spoken to me during confession!” he cried out. 

“Ah but you already have, haven’t you?” with every step he took back she took one forward, carefully angling her movements so she was beginning to back him into a corner. “You told another priest, didn’t you?”

He stared at her with steadily paling skin. 

“Yes, love, we already know about that,” she purred. They hadn’t really. Though he had just as well confirmed it through his reaction. And it was the only thing that made sense: the woman who’d come for confession had said something that tipped them off, and this priest had informed Hughes.

“Please, please, I didn’t know what he was going to do…” his back hit the wall, eyes widening. Lucy paced back and forth in front of him.

“Tell me who the woman was that came to confess..”

He whimpered, and she twirled the knife between her fingers. 

“Or I’m going to have to start hurting you.”

The priest jammed his eyes shut, mumbling a prayer under his breath for forgiveness. Lucy rolled her eyes, but waited until he finished.

“I think she was drunk. Or…off her head with something, at least. She came in staggering, demanding to be seen for a confession,” he began. 

Lucy had her suspicions of who it was. But she needed to be sure before she did anything about it.

“What did she tell you?” she demanded. Maybe the woman had just rambled and said nothing useful. Maybe what happened with Tommy and Hughes really had just been bad luck. 

“Many things…many things that didn’t make sense. Something about killing a policeman. She said he was a bad man. That she felt no regret. Something about…about hearing a voice…um…”

“What else?” Lucy asked, even as her shoulders tensed at the mention of a murdered policeman. The priest stuttered. She sighed, flipping the knife in her hand and raising her eyebrows, watching the way his gaze tracked the glint of the lights and candles off the blade.

“She said something about…about there being a plan in place for the death of a holy man.”

Lucy felt her nostrils flare, jaw clenching. “And you relayed that information to Father John Hughes, yes?”

“Yes.”

She took a few steps forward, until she was standing directly in front of him, dagger still clutched at her side. Using the tip of it, she pressed it to the underside of his chin, forcing his head to tilt up from where it had fallen to bow against his chest, so he was looking at her. 

“What was her name?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer. The priest hesitated, and she placed a little more pressure on the blade. Not enough to puncture the skin, but enough for him to know she wouldn’t hesitate to if he annoyed her.

“At first she just said her name was Shelby. But later she said it was Elizabeth Gray.”

Lucy let out a long, slow exhale of air. Her grip tightened on the dagger. Fucking Polly. It was because of fucking Polly that Tommy had nearly died.

It had been her suspicion since the beginning, but she’d forced herself to keep the rage that the thought created at bay until she knew for sure. No use getting all worked up over something and making accusations without having confirmation that she was right. 

But with it now confirmed, there came other questions.

Because Polly had always been jealous of Tommy. Ever since he came back from France. While the boys were away, she had enjoyed a much larger amount of power and control over the company than she’d ever gotten before. And then the men came back, and she was pushed into her old position while Tommy seized control over everything. Lucy had seen, time and time again, the bitterness and frustration behind Polly’s eyes when things weren’t done her way. The contempt and buried resentment she held towards her nephew for taking the place in the family she believed should be hers. 

It was possible that her visit to the priest had not been a drunken mistake, but a calculated, purposeful warning.

Lucy found it hard to believe that Polly would actually want Tommy dead. For all their arguing and disagreements over how the company should be run, she’d always figured that somewhere, deep down, Polly really did care for her nephew. At the very least she acknowledged that without him, the entire thing would fall to fucking pieces. 

No, no. It did not seem right. And while she did not think that the suspicion was wholly unfounded, it made no sense. There was no real reason for Polly to suddenly decide she wanted Tommy dead now. Besides, if she did, there were far better ways to go about it than a contrived, risky visit to a confessional booth that could easily be traced back to her. 

And Lucy had no doubt that Polly was smart enough to know that if she was going to kill Tommy, she would need to kill Lucy too. Otherwise she would never stop coming after her.  

With that possibility omitted, the pieces started to come together in her mind.

The priest said that Polly seemed drunk out of her mind, and Lucy remembered the sight of her, laid up in a chair the day following Good Friday. 

So Polly had staggered into this church, drunk off her ass, demanded to be seen for confession, and then proceeded to spill the beans on not only her past murder of Campbell, but of their plans to kill Hughes.

Intentional in the pain it had caused or not, it was stupid and careless. And she had not come forward to admit what she had done even as Lucy had their men running about trying to find the source of any leaks in their organization. 

And no matter what Polly had meant to accomplish when she stepped foot inside this church, the outcome was the same: Tommy, laid out on a surgical bed while doctors worked feverishly to save his life. He would spend months recovering. Even if it had just been a simple mistake, it had been a colossal one. 

She had almost lost Tommy. All because fucking Polly couldn’t keep her fucking mouth shut. 

No better than any of the others, even though she thought of herself at a higher standard than them. Careless. Reckless. Stupid. 

The wrath she had managed to keep at bay while sitting watchfully at Tommy’s bedside whilst he recovered was foaming up. She and Polly had never been friends. And while at first she hadn’t actually held any ill will towards her, years of being on the receiving end of nasty, backhanded comments and passive aggressive attempts to drive a wedge between her and Tommy had planted multiple seeds of bitter animosity in Lucy towards the woman. 

And now she had almost been the cause for Lucy losing the most important person in her life. 

She wanted to strangle her with her own bare hands.  

“Now, listen, I’ve told you what you wanted–” the priest began. Lucy’s face snapped towards him. She’d had just enough of these fucking priests and their holier than thou dispositions. Their leery looks to the choir boys and girls as they passed them by. How they preached about love and forgiveness, and then exposed their hypocrisy through acts of violence, oppression, and rape, and somehow thought that because of the white collar and rosary around their neck, they somehow would be exempt from burning in hell like the rest of them.

She hated them all. Every last one of them. 

Before the priest could finish his sentence, her arm holding the dagger slashed outwards and cut a clean, horizontal line across his eyes. Whatever words the priest was going to say were swallowed up a scream, hands flying to his face, clutching at the bloodied sockets where his eyes had been but a moment prior. 

Seizing him with one hand around his shoulders, she pulled him to her, driving the knife into his torso, just below his ribs, and twisted it. The priest’s wails echoed throughout the empty church. Drawing the dagger back, she stabbed it into his stomach again, and again, and again. Steady, sharp jabs that had blood spurting from his abdomen. His hands clawed at her, but she batted them away with ease, sliding the knife one final time into his chest, directly into his heart, just holding it there, hands shaking with rage. She pulled it from his flesh like one would slice through butter, taking a step back and letting him crash onto his front on the ground, a burbling, whimpering sound still whining from his lips, body twitching until he finally went still. 

“Jesus Christ, Lucy,” she heard Johnny mumble behind her.  

Wiping her hand across her brow, she sighed, head tilting up, fishing around in her pocket for a handkerchief to clean the blade of her knife with before returning it to its sheath. 

“Clean that up, will you, Johnny?” she asked, adjusting her coat on her shoulders, turning to begin to walk towards the door.

“Yeah, but…wait!” he moved to follow her, hand out like he was going to grab her arm, though he pulled it back when she cringed away from his touch. “Where are you going?”

“To the betting shop.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s the most likely place that Polly will be.”

Johnny’s eyes widened. “Do you think that’s a good idea right now?”

She sighed, head tilting up. “Look, I’m not going to kill her, okay?” she huffed again at his unconvinced expression. “I’m just going to talk to her. Then I have to go take care of a few things at the office, and catch the train back to London,” reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her cigarettes. “Thanks for coming with me, Johnny.”

“Ah, it’s no problem, Luce.”

She pointed to the priest. “Weigh him down and throw him in the cut.”

“You don’t want your handiwork put on display?” Johnny asked. Sometimes they did that. As a warning or a message. She shook her head. 

“No. The last thing we need is for them to try to retaliate. It’s better if this one just disappears.”

Johnny nodded, stepping over the priest. “Alright.”

“And Tommy wants to speak with you. After he’s recovered. He has a job for you. You and your wives and kids can camp out near the valley by Arrow House. No one will bother you.”

Johnny’s eyes sparkled at the suggestion that his family could relax in peace without fear of being chased off by angry landowners. “What sort of job, Lucy?”

“He’ll tell you when the time comes,” she promised. “For now, just enjoy the land and some peace.”

He flashed her that famous Johnny Dogs grin in response. Satisfied, Lucy nodded to him once gratefully, turning on her heel and walking to the door.  

It wasn’t a terribly long walk back to the betting shop, one hand stuffed in her pocket while the other periodically brought her cigarette to her lips. All the while rage continued to simmer in her veins. She was well aware that she probably wasn’t the safest person to be around at the moment. The smart thing to do would be to just go to the office and then catch the first train back to London. But she had to get out what she needed to say to Polly. Or else it was going to eat her alive.

Stomping out her cigarette on the street, she pushed open the door to the shop, almost instantly hearing the buzz of Polly, John, and Arthur’s voices from the kitchen. 

She didn’t bother taking off her cap, fingers twitching and flexing at her sides, walking slowly through the front sitting room towards the kitchen. Taking deep breaths to remind herself not to completely lose it.  

When she stepped into the kitchen, it was to find that the double doors leading into the betting shop were closed. John was leaning against the wall, Arthur seated at the table in the center of the room while Polly stood near the counter.

The moment she saw her, any of the fragile self control Lucy had managed to cobble together evaporated in one single breath. 

Every time she blinked, all she could see behind her eyelids were the stitches still in Tommy’s head, the blood running from his ears while she cradled him in her lap.

She strode across the room in a handful of quick strides, seizing Polly by the front of her blouse and slamming her back into the nearest wall, face crowded in close to hers. “You fucking bitch! Do you have any idea what you did!? Do you!?” she roared it in Polly’s face, giving her a small shake. “Do you know what you did!?”

Polly let out a small, surprised yelp when she first seized her, staring at her, mouth half open in sock. Lucy could vaguely hear Arthur and John shouting at her, grabbing at her shoulders and trying to pull her off of their aunt. She was practically shaking with anger, unable to think of much else aside from Tommy laying still in that hospital bed, the way that the doctors had told her about how they had to cut open his head and piece his skull back together. How heavy he’d been when he went limp in her arms on Ada’s stairs.

Her hands were dangerously close to Polly’s throat. She could feel her face twisting in a snarl.

“You fucking–”

“Lucy, stop!” 

She was finally yanked away from Polly, John and Arthur shoving her away, placing themselves between them. 

“What the fuck!?” John shouted, looking like he was seconds away from pulling his revolver on her. 

“Lucy,” Polly had a hand on her chest, smoothing down the fabric of her blouse where Lucy had been clutching her. “Lucy, why…?”

“I know it was you who tipped off the priests,” Lucy growled. Polly froze, eyes widening. John and Arthur shared puzzled looks with each other. 

“What?” Arthur asked. Lucy ignored them, not taking her eyes off Polly, who’s lips had thinned into a firm line, jaw clenching.

“Now, listen–” Polly started, drawing herself up to her full height as she prepared to defend herself.

“He almost died!” Lucy continued to rage. “He almost died because of you!”

She could have sworn Polly paled a little at the statement.

“You were drunk. Right?” wiping her mouth with her hand, Lucy started to pace from side to side across the small kitchen, her body desperately needing something to do with all the furious energy burning through her. 

“Yes,” Polly said, voice steady despite the odd expression that had passed across it. Something that Lucy thought may have been guilt.  

A scathing scoff passed Lucy’s lips, smiling humorlessly and shaking her head. “How could you be so fucking stupid?”

Polly’s face hardened. “You don’t get to talk to me like that–”

“Tommy’s in the hospital because of you, I can speak to you however the fuck I please,” Lucy spat, stopping her pacing with her hands on her hips, rocking back and forth on her feet, unable to fully stand still for fear that she would lunge at Polly again if she did. “God,” she laughed humorlessly, shaking her head, staring upwards. “You were supposed to be one of the smart ones,” she sighed, and when she looked back at Polly, she saw that that was probably the most hurtful thing she could have possibly said to her, the Shelby matriarch's cheeks turning pink, anger and humiliation building behind her dark eyes. 

A sudden flood of tears welled within Lucy’s eyes, and she blinked them rapidly to try to keep them from escaping, shrugging her shoulders helplessly to Polly. There wasn’t much more she could do or say, she realized. The rage within her had not dissipated, but it had suddenly lost its activeness. No longer did she feel the need to scream and kick and snarl. Instead she just felt rather numb. 

She realized, with a considerable amount of surprise, just how crushingly disappointed she was in Polly. Certainly she didn’t like the woman, nor did she often agree with her ideas or way of going about things, but fuck…

She at least had thought her competent enough to not stagger into their enemy’s lair and spill their secrets.

It was going to hurt Tommy to know it was Polly. He may not have always been the most obvious about it, but he cared greatly for his aunt. And he thought a lot of her. There was a reason why he allowed her such a high place in the company and family business, after all. 

“You were careless and you were stupid,” Lucy said, drawing in a shuddering breath. “And now Hughes is still alive. Tommy will spend months recovering from his injuries. So I hope you’re fucking happy,” she could feel John and Arthur also staring at her, but she kept her eyes trained on Polly’s. 

“Pol, is that true?” Arthur asked, turning around to stare at her. Polly didn’t look at him, continuing to glare at Lucy. But just beyond the hardness within her eyes, Lucy could see a flicker of shame and regret. Her jaw remained tightened defiantly. Lucy glanced briefly at Arthur and John, both staring at Polly expectantly as they waited for an explanation. When she gave none, Lucy looked back at her, cocking her head.

“Nothing to say?” Lucy asked. She doubted that Tommy would ever get an actual apology from her, let alone any of the rest of them. Polly was too proud for that. Lucy shrugged. It was more or less what she’d been expecting. “Okay,” she let her hands fall to hang loosely at her sides, giving one last shake of her head and a scoff. “This is why we don’t tell you things.”

None of them said a word as she stalked out the door, slamming it ragefully behind her.  

∗ ∗ ∗ 

By the time she got to the office, she had calmed down a considerable amount. Getting out what she’d needed to say to Polly had certainly helped, though there was no doubt that it wouldn’t exactly help improve her relationship with the woman. 

Whatever. There was nothing on earth she would be able to do to change Polly’s mind about her anyway. 

Rubbing the heel of her hand against her eyes, Lucy pushed open the doors, slipping off her cap and stuffing it into her coat pocket.

“Hey, Lizzie,” she mumbled. Lizzie looked up from where she was sitting at her desk, typing away at her typewriter. 

“What are you doing back in town? I thought you would still be at the hospital.”

“Needed to run a few errands. Could you get those reports from last week for me? Tommy wanted me to review and sign them before I catch the train back.”  

“Sure,” Lizzie stood to go to Tommy’s office.

“Thanks,” pulling another cigarette out while she waited, she swung around while lighting it at the sound of one of the doors opening, Michael stepping out, hands sliding into his pockets.

“Lucy,” he looked nervous. She raised an eyebrow.

“Hullo, Michael.”

“Didn’t expect you to be back yet.”

“I’m not. Not really. I’m just doing a quick thing for Tommy and then catching the next train back to London.”

Michael nodded, looking down at his shoes. Lucy frowned.

“Is…uh…” he cleared his throat. “Is he taking visitors yet?”

“Not unless it’s an emergency.”

“Oh,” Michael wasn’t meeting her eyes.

Tommy hadn’t been in a particular mood to see anyone besides her and Ada. But as she took in just how nervous and jittery Michael seemed to be, she felt her curiosity being piqued.

“...Is there something wrong, Michael?” she asked gently. He looked up at her, then around the office. Taking a step back, he pushed open his door with one hand, standing back in a silent invitation. Lucy’s brows pinched. 

Well now she had to know what was on the kid’s mind. Walking into the office, she took a seat in the chair across from his desk, a sudden, unnerving feeling washing over her when he closed the door behind them. 

“I…um,” he leaned his hip against the desk, twiddling with his thumbs. “There’s something I need to talk to Tommy about.”

“Okay…” Lucy said, waiting. Michael sighed, looking everywhere but at her.

“It has to do with the priest.”

Shifting in the chair, she fiddled with her cigarette. “I’ve already dealt with the leak, Michael,” she didn’t offer any further explanation. He would probably hear about it all soon enough anyway.

But Michael shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s…” shoving his hands back into his pockets, his shoulders heaved when he sighed, suddenly looking far younger than he was. Like a lost little boy. “Father John Hughes, right?”  

Her fingers tightened around the cigarette, jaw clenching at the name. “Yes, that’s right.”

“I know him.”

She went still. “What?”

“When I was…” he still wouldn’t look at her. “When I was a boy, before I was adopted, for a time I was in the care of the holy fathers.”

Lucy felt her stomach drop to her toes.

“I know…” he was struggling to get the words out. “I know things about him, Lucy. Things that might be useful.”

Her lips parted, nodding slowly. “Okay. I’ll tell him,” her voice was soft, but it suddenly seemed very loud in the quiet of the room. “You can come by the hospital tomorrow.”

Michael’s hands pulled free from his pockets, fiddling with each other, his eyes finally meeting hers. 

“When you and Tommy killed the men who hurt you…” he trailed off, frowning. Lucy waited patiently for him to finish. “Did it help?”

She blinked slowly. “Yes,” she was surprised at how sure her voice sounded when she said it. “The nightmares didn’t stop,” she coughed. “Or the flashbacks, or…any of the rest of it, but knowing that they were out there, walking around, living their lives, and that at any moment they could show back up and…” she trailed off, biting her lip and unable to finish the sentence, instead looking down at the wooden floor. “It helped knowing that they couldn’t hurt me anymore. Or anyone else. They got what they deserved. And they died afraid and in pain. And I get to sleep at least a little more soundly at night knowing that.”

Michael was staring at a space on the wall across from him. “I want to kill him, Lucy.”

She knew all too well the rage she saw within his eyes. It was the same wrath she’d seen reflected back at her in the mirror every day since her ex-fiancé and his friends dragged her into that alleyway in the dead of night, her screams useless thanks to the roar of the thunderstorm booming above them. 

“I know,” she said. “But we have to be careful. And it has to be at the right time,” glancing at the clock on the wall, she stood. “I’ll talk to Tommy.”

“Thank you,” he looked back at her cautiously. “I don’t want my mum to know.”

“Okay.”

He nodded, grateful, hands going back into his pockets. “I’ll come by the hospital tomorrow. Unless I hear otherwise from you.”

“Sounds like a plan,” moving to step around him, she stopped, gingerly resting her hand on his shoulder in what she hoped was some semblance of comfort. “I’m sorry.”

Michael looked down at the floor, a small pained sound coming from his throat, shrugging his shoulders. Lucy gave him a little pat; there wasn’t much else she could say, and slipped out the door. She glanced hastily over and signed the files Lizzie had set out for her, handing them back and bidding her goodbye, heading out the door and beginning the short walk to the train station. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

Tommy didn’t say much when she reported to him everything she’d found out. He didn’t seem all too surprised when she told him about Polly. He was carrying the same suspicions that she was, after all. But he’d been quiet ever since. Not even her reminder that the doctors finally said he could go home soon seemed to improve his mood.

Poor Tommy. He was clearly trying to hide just how hurt he was over the knowledge of what Polly had done. 

Sitting on the edge of his bed, she watched him where he was standing in the middle of the room, cigarette in one hand, eyes focused upwards at the dim, bluish light filtering in through the windows.   

She couldn’t wait to be out of this place. It was far too dark and dingy for her liking.

Reminded her of being underground.  

In his other hand, Tommy clutched a spoon, pouring helpings of morphine from a little bottle onto it, sliding the silver utensil between his lips. His features relaxed, eyes closed and features relaxing into bliss.

He was higher than a fucking kite. 

Lucy frowned, not taking her eyes off him even as the door opened a nurse announced Michael’s presence to them. She knew that the morphine was necessary at the moment to keep him from being in insurmountable pain, but she’d heard about the addicts who’d gotten hooked on the stuff when they were taking it while healing from injuries during the war.

He needed to be careful to not over do it. 

Michael said his piece, nothing particularly new from what he’d already told her, which she in turn had relayed to Tommy. And Tommy himself wasn’t much use, eyes still focused up at the windows, not even turning to face Michael when he spoke.

“We’ll let you know when it’s time,” Lucy assured Michael before he left. When she spoke to Tommy about it earlier, he’d been agreeable to the idea of Michael getting a chance at Hughes. 

Would probably be best to talk about it when he was more lucid, though. His pain had been bad today. 

He took another spoonful of the morphine, and she stood, watching Michael leave and close the door behind him.

“Give,” she held out her hands, taking the morphine and the spoon from Tommy, cupping his chin gently and angling his face so she could examine his pupils. “I think you’ve had more than enough, love.”

His eyes blinked at her lazily. “I feel like shit, Luce,” he mumbled. 

“I know. Come lay down,” she guided him back to the bed, ushering him to lay down while she sat down on the edge of the bed again. “Doctors said some days will be better than others,” she glanced at the stitches in his head. No puss or other signs of inflammation or infection. He was healing well. 

Tommy just closed his eyes, head resting heavily against the pillows. Lucy looked him up and down, unable to fight back the feeling that his sudden drop in mood didn’t just have to do with how he was feeling physically. 

“I’m sorry about Polly,” she said, touching his hand. Tommy grunted, eyes downcast. Her heart broke for him a little bit. “I’ll get to take you home soon,” she tried again to raise his spirits. “We’ll get to see Charlie. And Asher. And the horses. Get to sleep in a real fucking bed rather than this piece of shit,” she poked the lackluster mattress for emphasis.

“Yeah,” Tommy was just staring at the ceiling. Lucy tried not to be too put out at his reaction, considering he wasn’t really all there with her at the moment. But when she stood, his eyes snapped to hers, hand reaching to loop around her wrist. “Don’t leave me.”

Her eyes widened at the sudden desperation in his voice. “I’m just gonna put these down, love,” she held up the morphine bottle. He let go, albeit reluctantly, and she set the bottle and spoon on the bedside table. Sitting back down at his side, she smoothed his dark hair away from his forehead, giving him a gentle kiss there. “Try to get some rest.”

“Mm,” he closed his eyes. “You could lay down,” one hand patted against the center of his chest. “Right here.”

Lucy fought back a smile. “We tried that, remember? We got scolded by one of the nurses.”

Tommy made a face, mumbling something about getting the woman fired while he readjusted himself against the pillows. Lucy snorted.

“You get better fast, and then we can go home and I can lay on you as much as you want.”

He hummed like the thought pleased him greatly. “You promise?”

She raised an eyebrow. Jesus, he really was out of it. She wondered if he would even remember anything come morning. 

“Yes, love, I promise.”

Whether her agreement brought him enough peace to fully relax, or he simply was that exhausted, it only took a few moments until he was sound asleep. 

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

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Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x oc #peaky blinders #lucy winters #lucy winters x tommy shelby #my ocs #my fanfiction #in the bleak midwinter

[luckytealover]

This drawing in particular is extremely lovely. The character design is eye pleasing and unique to me and the hat. I want her hat haha. But yes i do wish to know how you you made such a wonderful character design? Any tips?

Wow, thanks for your opinion!

I like her hat too :D (Witch hats are cool!)

In general, this is a long story, but if we talk about it briefly...

Pumpkin is a comical fan character for one fandom. I just had an initial limited set:

- Three main colors orange, red and brown (I also added black for contrast)

- Associations with the Ace of Diamonds and Pumpkins

- A couple of initial traits like eccentricity, playfulness and a passion for drinking

I'm not particularly good at giving advice, but try making a limited pack of associations with the character. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just a couple of things that you think will fit together. Then you just mix it up and carefully develop what you get over time. How did they say? Everything ingenious is simple?

My Pumpkin generally walks around in a robe and pajama pants, so don’t worry, you’ll definitely be fine :D

Oh and of course she'll let you wear her hat

[bottomtrevor]

got any Michael headcanons u wanna share with the class? >:B

This prompt made me realize I don’t think as much of Michael 😭😭 digging thru my Trevor brain-rot brain to find crumbs of Michael ngl

This one isn’t really a headcanon bcz I think it was hinted heavily in canon but I’m not sure— I think Michael may be a sociopath. Doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person, of course, I think he just struggles to emotionally connect with others. Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to or can’t FEEL emotion— yes he cares for Amanda, yes he loves his kids, yes he cares for his friends/associates (all in his own way) and doesn’t like killing when it’s senseless (or at least that’s what he tells Trevor, I believe), but he definitely is exploitative and looks for his own benefit

WHICH brings me to my next point which I assume is also fairly popular— Michael’s exploitative nature was heavily expressed towards Trevor, especially in the earlier years after he’d understood that Trevor was really attached to him. So like Trevor was doing shit for him which he knew wouldn’t be done for him in return. There was always an (unintentional?) power dynamic — we know Trevor was relatively “chill”er in his youth, so I think he was more easily influenced by his need to please and be around Michael? Michael also sometimes (both unknowingly some times, and knowingly at others ) used “positive reinforcements” to not only keep Trevor on the right path, but also to keep him dedicated to himself. Why? Because uhh repressed LGBT activity makes a man possessive I guess

HES A SOCIAL MEDIA LURKER FR. he looks at posts from his friends and family, never interacts online but might mention something that caught his interest in a face-to-face conversation. (Amanda posts 2 pics asking which outfit looks better at 3pm. “The red one looked best by the way.” Michael replies when they’re in bed getting ready to sleep.)

Used to be obsessed with working out, obviously. He was a jock 🙏🏻

He just likes being a big spoon 🤷🏻‍♀️ never even acknowledged it to himself tho bcs that’s the kinda corny even he can’t stand

Can’t dance

Neutral towards pets/animals. Doesn’t have a particular favorite and doesn’t hate any particular one.

He gives me momma’s boy vibes (not like the vibes Trevor has tho? Much milder) I don’t know why. Can’t even elaborate on this one

Literally the entire fandom agrees: R E P R E S S E D H O M O

hasn’t cried since he was born 🚩

Before, his reaction to almost everything would be a knuckle sandwich 👊🏻💢 . (Being around the trigger-happy Trevor didn’t help) now his reaction to almost everything is just a blank stare ( “😐” looking ass) he worked hard to manage violent impulses and he knew he could only get them under control if he distanced himself from “bad company”

He doesn’t even miss his old surname at all. I think part of him would’ve gladly left it in the past— he didn’t really have a connection to it

Suspects that Ron has....something going on for Trevor (Franklin doesn’t believe him). Call it a crush or whatever. He definitely wants to tease Trevor about it

hes dismissive when it comes to heart-to-hearts. Doesn’t like lengthy emotional talking— he’d rather brush it under the rug. If it’s not a problem he can shoot at, please don’t bring it up 👍🏻 he CAN say corny shit every now and then if someone REALLY needs to hear it but he doesn’t really mean much of it half the time.

Jimmy and Tracey tried showing him vines and low-quality meme vids . He was not impressed. (He laughs at the kind of shit Franklins VA posts on his insta 😭 I wouldn’t say boomer humor exactly but.....lowkey boomer humor)

#these are all I can think of rn! #I’m ashamed even some of these have to do with Trevor I rlly can’t get that nasty old man out my head #I’ll gladly try and think of more #thank u so much for the ask tho I rlly appreciate it :3! #gta 5 #grand theft auto v #gta v #michael de santa #grand theft auto #gta #michael townley

[ciaossu-imagines]

Day Five – Reader Appreciation!

Day five of this event is going to be me just having the chance to show all my love and appreciation by focusing on my fabulous readers! Because I truly love all of you very much! I’ll be accepting all types of match-up’s, personalized asks for you or your original characters, and will include one or two prompts!

Some ideas for requests include:

OC Creation – Give me all the information you can on your original character/self-insert! I’ll then either write a drabble or some headcanons for any request you would like – generic things like what I could see your life being like in fandom or a romantic/platonic/family relationship being like between your oc/you or specifically tailored things for a situation of your choosing!

Surprise Box – A surprise box is a gift where you fill out the below form with yours or your character’s information and then I read it and prepare a little present! The surprise is obviously that you won’t know what the present is; it’ll be the first thing that pops into my head! The form is as follows:

NAME: This can be your blog name or what you want me to call you or your character, both if it’s needed in the surprise and just to identify when I post your surprise box! PERSONALITY: Describe yours or your character’s personality here as these surprise boxes are personalized for each person! Tell me about yourself and don’t be shy – the more I know, the better I can make the surprise! LIKES & DISLIKES: Again, as with personality, this is simply me gaining details to work out the best surprise! HOBBIES: See above explanations! APPEARANCE: This is definitely just to allow me to personalize any surprise more! FAVOURITE & LEAST FAVOURITE CHARACTER: Please feel free to list more than one if you want! This really helps me choose or eliminate different potential characters to include in the surprise! GIVE ME: Your favourite song lyric, quote, word, etc! It helps me gain inspiration or I sometimes use them as prompts!

Prompt One! - Fill out either your description or your character’s description, including as many details as possible (hobbies, likes, dislikes, personality, etc.). With this information, I’ll tell you:

Canon siblings: this is completely up to the admin and left to their discretion; some may have siblings, others won’t Canon best friend Canon Frenemies/Enemies Canon Character(s) with a crush on you First Romantic Relationship with a canon character Canon character you lost your virginity to Canon character you marry or get into a committed relationship with Canon character who either consistently purposefully or accidentally cockblocks you Canon affiliation: Depending on the fandom requested for, this will tell you what team you’re on, gang you’re a part of, family you’re in, if any; whether you’re more heroic or villainous, etc., etc. Special abilities in canon: Depending on the fandom, this may or may not be filled out 5 headcanons about your life in canon

Prompt Two! - Send me your information as with all the others, or your OC’s information, and one or all of the colours for:

BLACK - - what face claim from an anime, comic, or cartoon I associate you with? WHITE - - what superpower/flame type & box weapon/ability I think you’d have in my different fandoms? RED - - what aesthetics I associate with you? BLUE - - what three songs I’d put on a playlist for you? YELLOW - - which fictional world out of all my various fandoms would I picture you in easiest? GREEN - - who I’d pair you with out of all my fandoms? PURPLE - - what gif reminds me of you? PINK - - if you were an AU, what type of AU would you be? RAINBOW - - if I were to write a sequel-fic for a particular fandom of your choice, and could only use reader’s as my characters, who would you be?

#event day five

[valkyrie-night-103]

Hello! I'm new to the wrestling fandom which I was introduced to via your writing and I just wanted to know what fics (Of any genre) You would recomend to someone starting out!

This made me so happy!! Wrestling is such a wonderful thing and I’m thrilled that my writing was your introduction to it!! It makes me so happy to know that you saw something I made and wanted to see more related things. That’s such high praise!! As always, my dms on discord and tumblr are open for further tips, suggestions, and fic recs, or if you just want to make a friend :D

As I’m sure you’re aware, there are many promotions and eras in wrestling, and sometimes you need quite a bit of context to get an appreciation of the subtext, backstories and references, especially for some of the most popular ships. @mitchtheficus has a wonderful timeline that discusses the Golden Lovers and their story, and there are other guides on here for newer wrestling fans looking to get a better sense of a particular story or wrestling as a whole!!

My main tip for new wrestling fans is to Google the name of a wrestler you like and see if they’ve done anything dodgy. There’s a LOT of wrestlers out there that have done creepy and/or bigoted things both recently and in the past, and it’s easy for that to slip through the cracks. From there it’s your prerogative to assess for yourself whether that person is someone you want to support.

Another tip is, if you don’t enjoy a character/storyline, that’s completely fine. Wrestling is for everyone and has a range of stories and characters, so have fun watching what you enjoy! Even if a character or match is adored by the community and it’s not your thing, you don’t have bad taste for not liking that.

Finally, please show your appreciation for the fics you love!! We’re a small fandom so any praise, commentary or questions are always greatly appreciated, whether they are anonymous or not!

I know I’ve waffled on a bit, but here are some fic/author recs! Most of these will contain some NSFW content, as is the case with most wrestling fics.

The first place to look would be @old-no7 who goes by GrimmWork on AO3! They write a range of characters and tropes/genres, and if you’re looking for chaptered fics to get stuck into they’re a great starting point.

My top recommendation from them to get started would have to be The Botanical Significance of Daisies - A Hanahaki Disease fic filled with emotion and featuring multiple characters that are still easy to keep track of! It’s an amazing ride, and is long enough to dive into without being novel-length. It centres around Wheeler Yuta and the Blackpool Combat Club (BCC), a stable including Jon Moxley (formally known as Dean Ambrose), Bryan Danielson (formerly known as Daniel Bryan), and William Regal.

The only thing I know about your preferences regarding characters is that you enjoy The Elite (Kenny Omega, Matt and Nick Jackson, Hangman Adam Page (formerly)) and the Golden Lovers (Kenny Omega/Kota Ibushi). For these characters and the associated pairings, I’d recommend Wide Open Spaces, Rehabilitation of the Anxious Mind, and Boy Unwritten, also by GrimmWork on AO3. I don’t know how beginner friendly the elite-centric stories are, though!

@americandragonslayer is another mainstay here. They write chaptered fics, series, and some shorter fics. They write for the Blackpool Combat Club and some others! They’re amazing, check them out!

@saturatedsinset and @kennyanimega are incredible, wonderful writers! I’d say some of their fics are a little less beginner friendly as they tend to cover a broader range of dynamics and make reference to events and storylines you may not be aware of, but it’s definitely worth the extra effort.

@buhbenry has a wonderful Golden Lovers fic that doesn’t get nearly enough love, if you enjoy some of my stuff you’ll love it! It’s called i shine (only with the light you give me)

There are so many wonderful writers and stories in this fandom and I hope you have fun here!! If anyone I’ve tagged wants to provide their own suggestions, feel free to!!

#anon answered #fic recs

[ff7central]

Mod Miri here! Today on the blog we have Upside (she/they), who can be found here on Tumblr and Archive of Our Own. 

General FF7 Questions

Who is your favourite character from the FFVII setting? What do you love about them?

I write most often with Sephiroth and Cloud, but my favorite character is Barret. I love Barret and I always have. He starts out rough and gruff, but you find out fast he is not at all. He fights because he feels he has to. Most of all I love that he is a great father. It's a huge point of contention that he leaves Marlene behind, but I think it gets glossed over that it kills him to not be with her. If he's with her, however, it means he isn't fighting to make sure she has a future worth living, but every moment away he is thinking about her and missing her terribly. I love him. I love that inner conflict and the guilt he faces and fights past. He's just so *chef's kiss*

Favourite party (three person team) idea when playing FFVII? They don’t have to actually work mechanically (or even be possible in the game), just that you like the idea of them together as a fighting party.

Cloud-Barret-Nanaki. I don't know why I played as these guys so much. I forced myself to try and even out the team XP, but I always came back to these guys.

Is there a headcannon or AU you want to see more of?

That's a question I'm more likely to ask everyone else. I'm always coming up with headcanons and AUs. They just pour out of me. I can't really think of one that's stuck with me for super long.

Do you have a favourite memory associated with FF7 (any part of compilation) or something particular you did while playing (such as what you named the characters, or how you arranged your materia) that you think is unique that you'd like to share?

Creator Questions

Who has been the most difficult character to write/draw? Who has been the easiest?

Aerith. I love her and her characterization, but she is a tough nut to crack for me. She is a far, far cry from a damsel needing rescue, but there's a lot of issues to unpack for her. A lot of secrets she never told and probably planned to. I struggle to reach the parts of her that probably did need help without taking away the chaos and the strength she 100% had.

What’s your ideal creating environment? Background noise/silence, indoors/outdoors, desk/couch, etc.?

I am a freak of nature. I write best in a silent room, laying down or sprawled over a couch. It doesn't have to be dark, but it does have to be inside.

What’s your creative process look like? Pantser/Emotive Writer/Gardener or Planner/Structured Writer/Architect? (Do you outline or just go with the flow?) If you’re an artist, do you do a lot of sketches, or just dive right in? Backgrounds first, or the main focal point? Multiple layers or all in one?

I'm a definite pantser. I go with the flow, but it only works so long as there is a flow. I'm trying desperately to at least make a general outline of fics now and I write those in pencil so I can't say I lost the drafts.

What do you do when you get stuck on a project?

Walk away. Sometimes literally. I'll go for a walk and just think it over, try and walk a mile in the character's shoes. Sometimes (often) I walk away for far too long.

Do you do commissions, requests, or prompts? (If you have a page for it, drop a link.)

I take headcanon prompts almost all the time on tumblr. On occasion I will do full-fic requests in exchange for a charity donation (your choice).

Which of your works is the most memorable to you? I don’t necessarily mean favourite or best work, it could be the work that taught you the most through making it or that holds a special reason in its creation. Drop a link.

Test Notes from the ShinRa Handheld Portal Device is a fic I wrote, in several large chunks during Do Good Weirdly sessions in the Summer and Winter. This event is a huge challenge but a ton of fun. Authors and Artists from fandoms all over spend a set amount of time just creating non-stop. At the end, the creators donate to a charity of their choice. It is an amazing time to spend with some rad and creative people and I highly recommend joining us this winter for the next session

Without them I never would have written this crossover fic I'm insanely proud of: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32666962/chapters/81036598

It’s hard for me to go through everything you’ve done to pick stuff to mention. Is there a particular piece you’d like plugged, other than the one in the last question?

Nerd Chic is my most popular fic. It's an ASGZC slow burn where Cloud gets glasses: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170231/chapters/6884306

I also particularly love You are What you Eat. It's cheesy, sappy soul mate fun and good for a rainy day: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22742071/chapters/54342010

Community/Fandom Questions

What aspects of fandom spark the most joy for you?

The people. There is negativity everywhere, but once you curate your followers and your friends there's nothing that can beat just seeing what the people you let around you create. Y'all are amazing.

Is there something you'd like to see more of in the community?

Commenting and Reblogging. I'm guilty of liking and moving on and forgetting, but art and fic die if it doesn't spread around. Reblog and Comment if you like it and want to see more. It means more to the creators. It really does.

Anything you’d like to say to the community?

Thanks for making this a space that has sparked so much joy. I've loved this game since I was a kid and I'm so happy to just sit and talk with others who do too.

Is there a work belonging to someone else that you’d like to plug?

I love Pedulum by Evil Robot Cat: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170231/chapters/6884306

And also all of the Cat's artwork. It's good stuff

I would also recommend all of Illusioneery's work art and fic. There's a lot to pick from.

Thanks so much for joining me, Upside! You are a pleasure to have in our community. 

Interested in participating in a FF7Central interview, or nominating someone? Check out the form here.

#ff7c interview #upsideanddown

[castielmacleod]

Her last name is Dar, not Desai. Ackles didn’t create her, Robbie did. He formed her character and fleshed her out with Nida’s input. And there’s no stereotype I’ve seen in her portrayal…? Unless you mean because she’s Smart and Asian, which are just two qualities she has. It’s fine that you’re not watching, but it’d help to at least read media coverage on her to know this rather than diminish (so far) good rep into nothing worth batting an eyelash at. Fandom loves to play contrarian and then not even be informed on what they say.

Oh wow lol okay first of all….. I’m not sure if you are aware but I, am Indian (I’m biracial) and that is quite literally 100% of my interest in Latika. I mean, her “so far good” rep is repping me! Forgive me because I have no idea if you yourself are desi or not since you’re on anon but like. I am very much allowed to talk about this character. And the stereotype associated with her, courtesy of Jensen AckIes. Just to get that out of the way.

Second of all…. “and then not even be informed on what they say” well I suppose I’ll inform you, then, that media coverage is literally where all the information you’re concerned with has come from..😭 I have been reading about this show since it was announced!

Regarding Latika’s name, I had understood it to be Desai from this article.

That understanding was re-enforced by the sheer amount of people on here using the Latika Desai tag to talk about her since before the premiere and literally right up to this day still. I came to realise that her name had at some point been changed to Dar when I looked her up on the spn wiki not 5 minutes before receiving this ask so.. I hope you can forgive me for not updating the tags on my post in time for you, random citizen, to see it!

Regarding the stereotyping, I was referring to this quote from Mr Ackles himself, from this article.

I’m not going to explain why this statement is shitty and racist to both Latika and Carlos and I very much hope you don’t need me to.“It just made sense” oh please white Texas man, tell me more about why it made so much sense to you. Lol.

Anyway that particular article didn’t mention Robbie Thompson at all, unfortunately, so I was unaware he was the one to actually create the character. My apologies. I’m not sure if you’d like me to expand my frustration toward the lazy stereotyped racism expressed in this quote past Jensen AckIes to include Robbie Thompson as well? Because personally I’m glad to hear that he worked closely with the actor to improve on the stereotype they may have began with, or at least the stereotype that Jensen had in mind (or god forfend projected onto the character Robbie had already written). I’m pleased to know Nida had a say! And relieved. Robbie has a good track record with involving underrepresented actors directly in their characters (such as working so closely and brilliantly with Shoshannah to ensure Eileen’s Deafness was properly represented) so that’s definitely a little less harrowing than the situation I’d imagined.

But regardless of any of that……. my request on the post I assume you’re here from was quite literally me asking people who have actually seen the show for MORE DETAIL about her, as in BEYOND the book-smart British Indian trope that I read literally from an interview with CW The Winchesters Executive Producer Jensen Ross AckIes. I honestly think that asking for details beyond the apparent stereotype of a character is the opposite of diminishing said character to a stereotype. I mean if anyone is diminishing her it’d have to be Jensen. I very much looked at his comment, thought “oh that’s so lazy and reductive”, and then asked the good people who have actually seen the show if they could tell me what Latika is like in the actual show! Quirks, traits, minor details, little things that make her a fully rounded character. I WANT to understand her beyond the inane stereotyping that seems to be all Jensen AckIes’ tiny smooth mind could manage to comment on. I literally want to write her into my fics and finally explore the spn universe from a desi perspective! Since I’m not much of an oc guy, I’m thrilled at the opportunity for that! I am very much batting an eyelash at her, to be clear!

Anyway as you noted and as I’ve I said I’m really not interested in this show, I will never watch it, I’m just interested in Latika since spn never had a desi character other than Kali (who appeared in one episode, and that one episode was INORDINATELY racist) and I feel compelled to steal Lata for my secret good canon and writing. I was just hoping to learn a bit more about her before adopting her entirely, and there is absolutely nothing on the wiki for her yet, so I ran the risk of reaching out into spnblr for anyone willing to share. That’s all!

Clearly my post and tags caught you in something of a unfortunate mood. I apologise if I offended you, but I hope now you might understand me and where I’m coming from a little better, and you’ll get that I’m actually NOT just talking out of my arse here 😭

And if you deign to forgive me and you feel like writing back and actually answering my request for Latika lore, then you are by all means welcome to. Thanks!

#Ask #Prequel momence #WHO ARE YOU…….

[xplrvibes]

thank you for your genuine answer! i’ve been finding hard to communicate with the fandom because people are either hating the situation or eating it up so it’s always both opposite extremes. a lot of people say stas is hated but from what i’ve seen, especially on twitter and instagram, she’s actually more loved than kat? she gets drowned in compliments, people worship her, they kiss her ass and hype her up for the most mediocre or mundane things (and i don’t mean that as hate) ever, some even call her “bestie” and have constant interactions with her. you did bring up shea being in group chats (i only recently found out about that while getting in the tea loop but didn’t pay a lot of attention to that particular fact) and it now is making me wonder, giving the similarities and another fact i just found out (stas willingly sharing personal information abt the group, such as their location), if stas isn’t on group chats as well, but ones that are more lowkey and with people that kiss her ass? it could make sense, but i digress.

i’m just finding this weird overall, like it started out of nowhere and now both of them are making this bigger and bigger and bigger by only posting each other and so on? like doesn’t that feel… weird to you, in a way? their posts have always been more “group” focused, group pictures, etc and now all of a sudden we’re being slammed left and right with those two only?

Of course!

There are a lot of extreme reactions to this whole situation, and let's be honest- it's all down to Colby. Stas is involved with Colby in a way that is supposedly "open to interpretation." That's a hair trigger for a good chunk of the fandom, lol.

Stas does get some pretty polarizing things said about her a result- I've seen some brutal hate, thanks to her association with Colby, and I've seen some idolization that they could build churches around. Some of that love stems from the fans that just really, really, really want to see Colby in a wedding tux lol, but some of it does stem from how she treats the fans themselves. She engages with them quite a bit, encourages them...and I said it the other day, but that's a BIG thing with the social media stans. They are looking for someone to see them, and for someone who they can connect to. They're almost looking for a supportive older sibling type, and they're finding it in the most random of social media types- Stas included.

I know she is indirectly the reason that some of their whereabouts have been leaked, which is not cool and is something that snc should definitely deal with at some point. I don't know if she is active in any gc's, but I wouldn't be surprised. I'm hoping she isn't pulling a Shea and giving out private information that isn't hers to give out- and honestly, I don't think she is, because that information would've been leaked by now (if there is one thing I've learned about fandoms over the years, its that nobody can keep a secret lmao)....but who knows, at this point.

As far as her and Colby posting a lot of content of the two of them...eh. They do spend 90% of their days hanging out with Kat and Sam, who are an actual couple who have been together for like 300 years now. They're bound to be spending a lot more time paired off together as a result of that. 🤷‍♀️

I do think they know people enjoy Stas and Colby content, that it gets people talking, and so they aren't shy about posting content of the two of them together anymore, for that reason. That would be totally fine, except when they step over the line, throw gasoline on a fire on purpose, get everyone all in a tizzy, and then skidaddle. That's where they lose me in this whole thing.

Amber and Colby, imo, have perfected the whole "posting content that playfully encourages the shipping while simultaneously making sure everyone knows its all in good fun and not to be taken seriously or used to start fandom wars or get everyone all riled up" thing. That's the kind of pot stirring I can appreciate.

#asks

[shinizenchi]

i’m very tempted to do a big clear out of this blog & go back to friends only… it would be a hell of a lot easier to make a new blog but im so sick of constantly jumping blogs ugh.

#out. #i always wanna reach out and find new partners #but man I rly wanna focus on a small amount of people #and definitely don’t want to be associated with any fandoms in particular #hmmmmm #much to think about

[brushstrokesapocalyptic]

it’s time for the “overanalyzing one-off lines” show!

so the very first thing magnus says when he sees pit in chapter 2 of kid icarus: uprising is as follows:

“Well, I didn’t expect to see an angel here. Hope this doesn’t mean I’ve kicked the bucket.”

now, i’m not sure if you’re aware, but that’s a really weird thing for someone to say, and it’s even more weird that no one comments on it. pit and palutena go on talking about unrelated things, as if that’s a totally normal and expected thing for magnus to say.

now, if you’re like me, you probably also didn’t really react to this line the first few times you saw it. it’s the second chapter, kiu has a lot of slightly-odd lines which turn out to be foreshadowing. me, personally? my first thought was “oh, i guess angels are probably associated with escorting the dead to the afterlife,“ and then i moved on.

they’re not, though. that’s what reapers do. and there’s no way humans have these two races mixed up. just fucking look at them.

do they look anything alike to you??? no. they don’t. which raises the question of why, exactly, magnus said that.

now, we don’t know a lot about angels as a whole. pit (and by extension dark pit) is emphatically not the gold standard of angeldom. we can assume he looks fairly ordinary for an angel, seeing as no one has trouble identifying him as such. beyond that, though, a lot of what we know about angels comes from what pit isn’t. for starters, he can’t fly. and there’s something else, too, but i’ll get to that later.

before that, though, i’m gonna go through the various unsubstantiated comments made by people with a dubious level of authority on the subject. (incidentally, i sourced these screenshots from the wiki— much more convenient than trying to dig through youtube for every single random conversation.)

without any further ado! let’s get into it!

Angels as Messengers

Gaol: Aw, Palutena’s little messenger boy. And Magnus, it’s always a pleasure. (src)

in the specific context of overanalyzing magnus’s first line, this is an important sentence to pick out. magnus and gaol are both humans, both with presumably a fairly similar history as mercenaries up until gaol got stuffed in a suit of armor. but while magnus makes a weird comment about death, gaol calls pit a messenger.

and pit agrees with her!

Viridi: I wish I had an angel to do my bidding. It’s like having an intern.

Pit: I’m not an intern. I’m a messenger of the gods!

Viridi: Poor Pit. Don't you know that the definition of angel is "errand spirit"? (src)

this particular conversation is the most insight we get into angels as a whole, i think. viridi thinks of angels as like divine interns, there to do little tasks for gods, and palutena doesn’t exactly disagree with her. pit says they’re specifically messengers, which lines up with biblical mythology. i could see the traditional role of angels in the world of KI being exactly that, showing up to tell the humans what the gods have to say because the gods themselves are too busy being petty jerks to do it themselves.

The Angel’s Code of Conduct

Magnus: You go in fully dressed? Don't you at least want to change into a...swimming tunic or something?

Pit: Oh, no no no! The angel's code of conduct says that we must always be ready for duty.

Magnus: I guess you wouldn't be an angel if you didn't do things by the book. (src)

Pit: Hey! You know the angel's code of conduct! I need to be prepared at all times! (src)

another random little thing is the angel’s code of conduct. without a larger sample size, we can’t know if it’s a real thing or just an excuse to save on laundry, but apparently it’s against the rules to not be on call at all times. in pit’s case, the duty he has to be ready for is doing palutena’s dirty work, but it can easily mean just about anything— including, of course, being a messenger.

No Warrior

Chariot Master: But you are no warrior, angel. Tell me, why do you fight?

Pit: I fight for Lady Palutena. And I fight for the people under her protection!

Chariot Master: That's not reason enough for an angel. (src)

remember how i said there was something else weird about pit? the chariot master seems to think angels aren’t very prone to battle— or perhaps even that they’re actively opposed to it. this lines up well with the idea that they’re supposed to be messengers, peaceful go-betweens for gods and mortals. this does not line up well with pit, the adorable weapon of mass destruction.

and it also does absolutely nothing to explain the question driving the whole existence of this post.

you know what does kinda lean towards an explanation?

No Other Angels

Pit: Do all gods have their own angels, like you have me?

Palutena: No, I don't think that's necessarily the case. (src)

i said before that the Intern Pit conversation had the most illuminating information on angels. this is what i was actually referring to. on its own, it’s pretty innocuous, but it’s just as weird as the magnus line. shouldn’t pit know about other angels, seeing as he is one himself? but he doesn’t know if there are other angels.

the only angels we ever see are him and his clone. no one ever directly references the existence of other angels, they only make general statements about what angels as a whole are like— statements which clearly don’t apply to pit, meaning they’re not just extrapolating based on the one angel that definitely does exist.

the one time someone does comment on the hypothetical existence of other angels, palutena gives a vague answer to the tune of “no,” the topic is changed, and no one brings it up again.

let’s go over everything i’ve established about angels up to this point. they can fly, they’re peaceful messengers of the gods, and pit is the only one that seems to exist as of the start of KIU.

it should be pretty obvious at this point what answer i’m dancing around, if it wasn’t obvious from the start. pit is the only angel around because all the other ones are dead. the reason why magnus said what he did is that his thought process went something like this:

See an angel.

Think “Aren’t angels extinct? Is that a ghost? Am I a ghost? I sure hope not.“

Make a quip about that.

Move on with his life, because he isn’t dead and evidently neither is this guy.

i’m not gonna pretend i went into this post with the intent of any other conclusion to that mystery. anyone who’s bothered glancing over a plot summary for the original kid icarus can draw that conclusion. it’s certainly what i did, reinforced by fics by people who had the same thought!

the truth, however, is that this was all a trick to get you to read my analysis of the theoretical nature of angels as a race. now that you’re invested, i’m going to dramatically throw aside my cape and reveal my TRUE FORM: telling people that fandom consensus is wrong, and my ideas are cooler and better than everyone else’s and you should all throw roses at my feet and bow before your king.

(or just, y’know, take it as the subjective analysis that it is. whatever floats your boat.)

Hot Takes

the original kid icarus does not actually tell you about angels going extinct. here’s the wiki article with the full text of the backstory, just for convenience, so you know what i’m on about for the rest of this post.

so, the part of the story that i think gets misinterpreted is this part about palutena’s army.

Medusa led a surprise attack on Palutena's army which could barely fend off the attack. Palutena's army suffered major losses and was heavily defeated in the final battle.

specifically, i think a lot of people interpret said army as having been made up at least partly of angels. sure, in the actual game it consists entirely of centurions, but you have to take old NES games with a grain of salt. i know i don’t buy for a second that pit was part of palutena’s guard before the original game (he was just too goddamn young), there’s nothing wrong with reinterpreting things.

recall everything i established about angels already, though. this is the hot official lore, from the game everyone knows and loves. angels are messengers, and if the chariot master is to be believed, never warriors. pit is an outlier. palutena’s army consists of centurions, not angels. if medusa wiped them out, it wasn’t because they were fighting for palutena.

(and honestly, i don’t think angels are necessarily associated with palutena exclusively. sure, she’s got the wing imagery, and she’s got the one known surviving angel working for her, at least up until pittoo is born. but angels are messengers of the gods, not messengers of palutena. again, pit is an outlier.)

which all brings us to the real question of this post.

what the FUCK happened to all the other angels? why is there only pit? why does magnus act surprised to see a messenger of the gods, and make a quip about being dead, if not because angels are otherwise extinct?! WHO KILLED THEM, AND WHY?!

thus concludes the “over analyzing one-off lines“ show. see you next, uh, maybe at some point if i feel like it!

(also another thought i had but couldn’t find room to fit it in properly: the gods don’t really act like angels are all extinct, but i feel like that can be explained through the sheer scale of a god’s lifespan. if we assume they were wiped out sometime around the original kid icarus (even if not as palutena’s army) then that’s a whole twenty-five years. that’s a long time for us humans, but for a god, that might as well be last tuesday. “yeah, i know what angels are like. sure wish i could have one. too bad palutena’s got a monopoly on the one single angel that medusa didn’t manage to wreck.”)

#kid icarus #kid icarus uprising #the things i think of at five am #i am just yelling and spewing thoughts and theories and headcanons #if anyone has their own thoughts to add go right ahead i am dying to know whether or not i'm actually breaking new ground with all this #or if there's some vital lore i missed #or anything like that #i am OPEN for CONVERSATION

[therealvinelle]

Carlisle and theology

So, there are a lot of thoughts in this fandom on Carlisle’s brand of faith, and Carlisle seeing vampirism as inherent sin, and it’s time for this Christian philosophy nerd to butt in, featuring all the quotes.

First of, let me do my usual disclaimer - the Carlisle of the books is not the Carlisle of the movies. Carlisle of the movies believes he’s damned, because while the movie does mostly quote the conversation from the books, they cut him off halfway through, completely changing the meaning. Book Carlisle is making an argument, and his conclusion is the opposite: vampires have souls.

"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist… and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls." (New Moon, page 20)

Later in the same book when Edward believes he has died and gone to heaven, his first words are: “Carlisle was right.”

So, book Carlisle doesn’t believe they’re all damned. If he did, creating others would be to damn them. If he had doubts about their souls and decided to risk it anyway, his “I made vampires” angst would be about their souls. It’s not:

"(Choosing to turn others) is the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide." (New Moon, page 21)

was it right to doom the others to this life.

He says nothing about their souls. His issue is the life they’re now living because of him: “was it right to turn others into bloodsucking demons, all of whom have a body count?”

Which is a very fair question, I’d be wondering that too. Edward, Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie are all murderers, they live in the constant pain of bloodlust, they must live in this very particular way or be nomads, and they’re not truly immortal, for sooner or later death will come in the brutal form of being torn apart and burned. Not to mention both Edward and Rosalie have very ambivalent feelings about what they became.

Carlisle wondering if turning them was the right call appears to have nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with the pragmatic reality of what it means to have created a vampire.

But if Carlisle doesn’t believe vampires are damned, what does he think then?

His backstory, admittedly told through Edward (who projects a lot onto Carlisle), is helpful.

His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again. (Twilight, page 160)

Carlisle had been raised to believe in witches and demons, eternal damnation for the wicked and the whole shebang. He wakes up a vampire and he knows what this means, he is now a senseless monster who kills people. 

Well, turns out this isn’t the case. He doesn’t have to kill people. More, he still has his faith in God, which by protestant doctrine is what you need to enter Heaven. (This right here is one big bone I have to pick with fanon Carlisle. People keep ascribing a very Catholic brand of theology onto him, as he believes existence is sin and one must do penance. He’s Anglican, and Anglicans adopted Protestant doctrine. Protestant salvation comes through faith.)

Now, if his existence doesn’t automatically lead to sin, and if he is still in command of himself, able to believe in God and be devout, who’s to say he’s damned?

The urge to kill people remains present, of course, but humans are tempted to sin too. All of God’s children are tempted. (And yes, he did arrive at the conclusion that vampires are among God’s children. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t believe they had souls.)

Edward specifies that Carlisle created his own philosophy. As in, he didn’t just say “I don’t have to kill people, neat. Being a monster is still horrible, though”, he sat down and went full Zarathustra.

This is where my love for theology comes in.

Christian thought is founded on the relationship between God and Man. How Man is saved, the definition of sin, absolution, all of it - it’s all built on the supposition that Man is human. Well, Carlisle just found out that there’s God, Man, and Vampire - and potentially (Carlisle at this early point in time would still think witches and such were real) others as well.

He also learned that the notion of monsters being bound to sin, or having made deals with Satan, are also wrong. He never met the guy, he has his conscience, and he lives as morally as ever.

This invalidates pretty much everything he ever learned, and Carlisle’s sitting there in the English woods realizing the same thing Nietzsche later would when science challenged religion: he has to figure out Christianity from scratch.

I think Carlisle came up with his very own doctrine.

Edward outright says so: his new philosophy was born. We see Carlisle engage in all sorts of behavior completely contrary to anything a devout 17th century priest would have been doing. He associates with heathens like Aro, Amun, or the Amazonians, allows his family to be non-believers, considers fallen women like the Denali to be wonderful people and respects them as equals, he performs abortions, he allows material luxuries under his roof, he marries a woman who committed suicide.

There’s also the fact that his was a time full of alternate interpretations of Scripture. I won’t get into this part of European history, suffice to say that with Martin Luther’s 97 theses, the Christian world exploded with different sects and branches. Anabaptism, Calvinism, Quakers, Lutherans, the list just keeps going. It wouldn’t have been a foreign concept to Carlisle to sit down and say “Alright, who is God and what does He want from us”

I keep seeing Carlisle written as a Christian parody who cries because once when he was having sex with Esme in the dark some light entered the room and he saw her ankle, and now he thinks they’re both going to hell. And if we’re talking about the movies then sure, that guy seems the type. Book Carlisle is not this, and there’s nothing in canon to indicate as much, quite the contrary. (Yes, Edward is angsty about souls, but that’s not what Carlisle believes at all. It’s made clear over and over these two don’t agree on religion, so the argument that Edward somehow downloaded his religious angst from Carlisle defeats itself.)

It seems to me Carlisle came to the conclusion that sin is to take lives for pleasure, and that vampires are neither damned nor inherently sinful. This is the only action he appears to condemn, to view as sinful. Apart from that, he will kill to defend himself or others (the newborn battle and James), he’s pro-abortion, and he did not oppose Rosalie getting her revenge.

Apart from that I’m not going to extrapolate much, in part because that’d be hard to do when we don’t have a lot to go on and I’m not actually a theologician, and in part because this post is very long now. Feel free to ask if someone wants me putting on my philosophy hat and pretending I’m a vampire with a religious crisis.

(I will say this though: the notion of vampires being inherently sinful is just Original Sin in a hat. If Carlisle believes in it, then he also believes in Original Sin for humans, vice versa if he doesn’t. Doesn’t seem to be the case, but if it is then the vampirism by itself still isn’t any more damned than humanity.)

#carlisle cullen #long post #theology #religion #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #this was written because of my #pet peeve: badly written christian characters #thank god the star wars fans haven't realized how Christian the Jedi are #or the fanfiction would get ugly

[bookofmirth]

The english side of me REALLY jumped out with this one lol

Possessiveness, jealousy, and overprotectiveness are staples of the romance genre, especially when it comes to paranormal romances, so much so that it’s expected for people to overlook the problematic aspects of possessiveness, jealousy, and overprotectiveness because these concepts in the romance genre are meant to be viewed not only as hot and sexy, but indicators of love and showing that the person cares. Despite their tendency to fall in the yellow flag zone, these concepts are meant to further the romance itself. And when you begin to question these concepts as they appear in different romances, there’s almost always pushback with people saying the books are “just fiction”. But what happens when there’s evidence that shows why these three concepts aren’t always healthy or hot/sexy in a romantic pairing? What happens when the narrative is using these concepts to show how they can be detrimental to a character and those romantically associated with that character?

Possessiveness/Overprotectiveness

In romances, it’s always in the man’s nature to be possessive and overprotective. These two concepts are usually used to show that a character is protective of their partner and we see that happen with almost all of SJM’s endgame ships, but they’re almost always portrayed as good/healthy because of the equal partnership that is present in those relationships. Thinking about acotar, a relationship where possessiveness and overprotectiveness were depicted in a negative light was between Feyre and Tamlin. Their relationship was imbalance and Tamlin’s possessiveness/overprotectiveness of Feyre stood out in the barriers he placed on Feyre when they were together: not letting her leave the house/keeping her in the house; saying everything is for her “protection”; only letting her talk to Alis and Lucien/limiting her interactions with others; telling Lucien to back off from Feyre because Tamlin saw him as a threat and that she could fall for him instead; having Feyre be dependent on him by not teaching her how to fight/learn how to use her powers; controlling every aspect of Feyre’s life at the beginning of acomaf; among other things.

Males in acotar feel an intrinsic sense of entitlement to their mate and are described as being protective and possessive over their mates. When people say that A is exhibiting “mate behavior” towards E, obviously there is a positive connotation associated with that phrase because of how the males act around their mate. But the thing is A isn’t E’s mate. A’s possessiveness of E is treading on the waters of Tamlin-ville because: A speaks for E, which is oddly similar to what some of E’s stans do in fandom discussions (as if E herself reached out of the book to personally tell them things that no one else knows); he makes it known that E shouldn’t help with the Dread Trove, which is an example of A attempting to limit what E does; and he subtly expresses a sense of entitlement over E in the bonus chapter during his conversation with Rhys when he questions if the Cauldron was wrong in pairing E with Lucien. A’s “mate behavior” is completely different from Rhys and Cassian because Rhys and Cassian are canonically mated to Feyre and Nesta, which plays a role in how they act towards them. Also, neither of them attempt to limit what Feyre and Nesta do even if they worry about their safety. To say that A is exhibiting “mate behavior” towards E would have the same effect as saying Tamlin was exhibiting “mate behavior” towards Feyre. I think that the reason A’s actions towards E are described as mate-like is because thinking otherwise calls his actions into question. I assume some people aren’t ready for that conversation because he’s been portrayed as the sad bat boy in the fandom for so long that it’s probably hard for people to come to terms with this not being the case.

When people say A being overprotective of E is similar to Rhys and Cassian being overprotective of Feyre and Nesta, the comparison becomes incomparable because A is overprotective of E to the point where he goes against what E wants to do (E stating she wanted to help find the dread trove, a scene in which A was present and later A said E shouldn’t be exposed to its innate darkness), while Rhys and Cassian know Feyre and Nesta are capable of fending for themselves in dangerous situations. It’s just ironic that A’s overprotectiveness in this moment contradicts E’s “choice” of wanting to help, yet I don’t see that being mentioned in those “choice” arguments.

Jealousy

Jealousy in the romance genre is always meant to further the romance between the love interests and we see that happen with rowaelin and chaorene (and probably other SJM ships too). But when the jealousy and the romance are disconnected from each other, that’s meant to show something about the character who is jealous and what they’re jealous of. On the second page of the bonus chapter, it’s established that A is envious of Cassian and Rhys and that the reason he remained downstairs by the fire was so that he didn’t get swallowed up by his jealousy in his room. Then on the third page, it’s revealed that the reason he stayed by the door at Solstice was because “he couldn’t stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much”. There is a blatant reimagining happening with A’s bonus chapter to make it seem as though his jealousy is romantically coded when the jealousy has nothing to do with his relationship with E and more to do with him. This reimagining has to be a case of people seeing what they want to see because I highly doubt people are out here failing literature class.

The Romance Genre & SJM

A and E’s interaction in the bonus chapter is frequently compared to Wings and Embers. The only similarity between these two chapters is the sexual undertones, which is part of the reason why I think people compare them in the first place because everything else (the structure of the chapters, their contents, and the amount of characters involved in them) is different. I think people are hiding behind the sexual undertones of the bonus chapter in hopes that it somehow overshadows not only the oddness of A’s interaction with E, but the ending of the bonus chapter as well. And even more than that, A giving away the necklace is compared to Cassian tossing Nesta’s present in the Sidra. Since A is able to give the necklace away that should tell you about the significance of the necklace’s connection to E herself (if A can easily give it away to the next person on the street) whereas Cassian regifting Nesta’s present would probably be meaningless to someone else because it was Nesta specific.

We know that acotar is more romance heavy compared to tog and cc so I can see why people lean more on the conventions of the romance genre as a basis for their arguments. And this is fueled by SJM saying this new trilogy will have one couple per book. However, the downfall of these arguments is that oftentimes the plot, narrative structure of this new trilogy in particular, and individual character progressions are secondary or afterthoughts to the romance they support. These arguments lack any real substance because acotar has proved time and time again that both the romance AND the plot work in tandem, going against the broad strokes of the romance genre formula where the romance is primarily in the spotlight.

Basically, why do you think A’s possessiveness, jealousy, and overprotectiveness of E is romanticized? Why do you think A and E’s dynamic is constantly compared to feysand and nessian? And why do you think people take issue with A being compared to Tamlin?

I think that the reason A’s actions towards E are described as mate-like is because thinking otherwise calls his actions into question.

THIS

I hate the whole discussion of "mate behavior" because the series doesn't even explain that very well. Rhys can't explain why people are mated, if it's for reproduction or being "equals" (in what sense, who knows), the courts all handle acceptance/rejection differently, the consequences of rejection are unclear and make it seem like the woman is beholden to accept on pain of... causing someone else pain.

I agree 100% that people (maybe unconsciously) try to ascribe "mate behavior" to Azriel in order to excuse what would ordinarily be inexcusable. He doesn't have some magical thing making him act this way. Neither did Tamlin, and we know how people view his behavior. And that's another thing with "mate behavior" and the bond. Why would Tamlin and Feyre not be mates, if all it took were these extreme possessive and protective behaviors? Why aren't Az and Mor mates?

And it's not even about Elain! Az acts like this with Mor, and we know there isn't a mating bond there. Azriel has zero reason to behave the way that he does, not in the same way that the mating bond gives Rhys and Cassian an "excuse", flimsy as it is, for the way that they act around Nesta and Feyre. Even that excuse is crap, because we have Rhys out here leaving Feyre's abusive ex alone, and then we have Lucien doing the same with Graysen. The definition of "mate behavior" that some of the fandom is working with... is sus.

The fact is that no matter how "overprotective" and possessive Rhys and Cassian were, they never prevented Nesta or Feyre from doing what they wanted. They might have gotten their hackles up, but then they backed off. Rhys sent Feyre into the Weaver's cottage. Nesta went to war. There is a balance between caring deeply and passionately for these women, and recognizing them as individuals whose autonomy should be respected.

The jealousy is 100% not about Elain. It's not about Elain being with Lucien. It's not about Mor, because we know that it's not really about Mor sleeping with Helion. Azriel has 99 problems, and 98.5 of them are about his childhood and his loneliness. The other 0.5 problem comes in the shape of a snowball.

The only similarity between these two chapters is the sexual undertones

You know I haven't done a full blown comparison between these chapters, but I'd agree. The entire Wings and Embers short was about Nesta and Cassian. There were no other characters and they learned a great deal about one another. What did Elain and Az learn about one another as people in the first third of his POV? Nothing. There was no tension between them other than sexual. Cassian thought Nesta's name over and over, thought about her as a person and her personality and how she made him feel. Azriel literally only thinks about fucking Elain. There is nothing wrong with fucking, obviously, but that's not love. (Maybe I should fully compare them idk.)

It's when we look at everything he doesn't say in conjunction with how he treats Elain and Mor in other scenarios... that's troubling. People can misread our 😬 at his behavior all they want, but the fact is that Az didn't have a single kind, original thought about who Elain is. His POV gave us zero extra insight into who Elain is as a person, which is... startling, if we are supposed to think that they know one another so incredibly well and have such intense feelings for each other. Why would we not get additional insight into her character? We get a lot of insight into Az's character for sure. But following his POV, if he loves and knows this woman so well, we should feel that. We should know why he loves her, what he knows about her, we should... just get some more damn insight into her character, if we are in the POV of someone who supposedly knows her so well!!!!

You know it's funny though, because the Az and Elain interaction in his POV mirrors when Nesta imagined a threesome with Az and Cassian. Close, and potentially pretty hot, but it never really happened because then it would mess up sjm's plans for the future.

Okay now to your ACTUAL questions haha and not just my reactions to what you said.

I agree that romanticizing Azriel's behaviors is the better option for people who ship it because otherwise the alternative is to accept them for what they are, which is not about Elain at all. Az has an even longer history of being all "mate behavior" on Mor, but no one thinks that's odd? I think that some people pick and choose their evidence, which is a big reason why I keep shoving Mor into these conversations. If the "mate behavior" argument was genuine and had a solid foundation, then the people making these claims would still ship moriel.

The whole thing with Az and Tamlin comparisons.... oh boy. I think there is a lot there.

I think that people don't want to see Az as anything less than perfect sad boi that Elain can fix with her love.

I think that people have a difficult time seeing emotional abuse IRL, to the point where even people who experience it directly struggle to come to terms with it, so why would we willingly embrace its presence in fiction? It also flirts with a lot of the ideas you mentioned being present in a lot of romance, though I'd argue a lot of those elements are becoming passé.

I think that Tamlin is Fandom Enemy Number One while Azriel is Self-insert Book Boyfriend Number One, and maybe people don't know how to reconcile those things. (This is quite literally true, I checked AO3 for reader fanfics and compared numbers between the bat boys, Az/reader fics win by a landslide.)

There also seems to be a refusal to see or accept nuance. I'm not even talking about moral complexity because I don't think that either Tamlin or Az intend to behave the way they do. They aren't villains. It just reminds me of people who somehow don't think Nesta was absolutely horrible through much of the series, even though a huge focus of her arc in acosf was coming to terms with how she had treated people. Anyway...

People see "gwynriel shipper" or "elucien 💕" in a bio and just dismiss arguments before trying to understand them

People try to justify their actions of their faves, which I understand!

People don't understand how subtle emotional abuse can be, and how there doesn't have to be clear intention.

I still plan on pulling out evidence from the book about times when their behaviors mirror one another. But it's like I've said for months - Tamlin is a cautionary tale. I don't think Azriel will go that far, but the foundation is there. The fact that acotar/acomaf was so, so explicit about how Tamlin's behavior was not okay, and yet people can see that same behavior in another character one book later and want to try to excuse it... sigh. Way to miss the point, fandom.

#the brielle tag #ask #not even gonna tag these characters #my stalkers will love this post though #💋 #antielriel

[outofgloom]

An update: The Matoran Dictionary, 3rd Edition

It has been a while since I posted anything conlang-related here, but I know that the Bionicle fandom survives in this place. Even though this blog has been relatively uneventful on the surface, I have actually been hard at work on the project that has developed, in my mind, into what I’m calling the 3rd Edition of the Matoran Dictionary.

If you read “3rd Edition of the Matoran Dictionary” and thought “what are you talking about” or “wait, where’s the 2nd Edition?”, then follow this link for many minutes or hours of reading about an incredibly niche part of the already very niche BIONICLE fandom.

For now, here is an explanation of what the Matoran Dictionary 3e project looks like:

On the world of Spherus Magna, many millennia have come and gone. Under the auspices of the Annoxtan Institute of Languages and Cultures, a team of linguists, historians, archaeologists, and agoropologists has been assembled, funded by grants from the educational initiatives of the System Adherency, to produce the definitive work on the ancient languages and dialects of the Mata System.

(a) 3e is a complete reimagining of the etymologies of the names/terms that exist within Generation 1 of BIONICLE. It aligns with the version of the Matoric Language that I have lately released (see here).

(b) 3e shares some features with 2e, but in general it is a separate work. Whereas 2e was written by a linguistics undergrad in the margins of lecture notes, 3e is written by the wizened future version of that linguistics undergrad, now typing on a keyboard, and with a somewhat better grasp of how this language thing works.

(c) these etymologies incorporate a large amount of work on dialects and language variants within the world of BIONICLE, both the world of the Matoran Universe and the world of Spherus Magna. The final version of 3e will include an explanation of these dialects and their interrelations. In particular, you will find many references to the other major work of BIONICLE conlanging I have undertaken, the Etymological Dictionary of the Agori Language, given that the languages of the MU are partly derived from the language of the Agori.

(d) many of the entries for name/place/item-designations will include  encyclopedic information fleshing out how that name originated, its dialectal provenance, and any other relevant lore. You may find some interesting tidbits included in these portions of the entries.

Although the project will not be fully complete any time soon, it has reached a stage of development where I feel good about showing some parts of it off. It is my intention to release some drafts of separate portions of 3e in the near future (names of Kanohi, names of locations, for example), so that people can get a taste of what it looks like.

For now, here is a description of the major languages & dialects that will be referenced. I’ve put all of this in a Google Doc as well, if you don’t want to read it on Tumblr: link here!

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF DIALECTS

Proto-Matoric (PMtc.): The theoretical earliest form of the Matoran Language, artificially constructed by the Great Beings and preloaded into the base programming of Matoran units within the Mata System. Consists of a finite-but-expandable lexicon and a small set of recursive combinatorial operations. Forms in Proto-Matoric are unattested (marked with *), being reconstructed by comparison amongst descendant dialects within the Mata System and within the Agoric language family (Old Agoric and descendants). The lexical stems of PMtc. are, in large part, selected from forms existing in historical variants of Agoric utilized by the Great Beings: Proto-Agoric (PAgc.), early Old Agoric (eOAgc.), and Praetar Agoric (Prtc.).

Archaic Matoric (AMtc.): The earliest attested form of the Matoran Language, immediate descendant of Proto-Matoric (PMtc.). The label AMtc. is more precisely a cover-term for a range of linguistic variants manifesting across a wide geographic area and time-depth in the early Mata System. Variation in AMtc. is the result of the process by which the abstract internal forms of the base linguistic system (represented by PMtc.) were externalized and articulated by individuals within populations. A variety of additional lexical items were “transplanted” from Old Agoric (OAgc.) as a result of some contact (likely unintended by the Great Beings) between AMtc.-speaking populations and users of OAgc. in the pre-launch period. All major dialects and dialect groups are descended from AMtc., except where noted.

Inscribed Archaic Matoric (IAM): Forms attested in early inscriptions left by the Great Beings in areas such as the Bohrok Nests of the Cranial Region, the chambers of the Mangaia, Valmaia, and elsewhere. Inscribed Archaic Matoric represents a variant of language somewhere between Proto-Matoric and Archaic Matoric, and the inscriptions themselves show evidence of orthographic conventions and abbreviations utilized by the Great Beings.

North Matoric (NMtc.): Primary dialect of Metru Nui and associated areas. The dialect is comparatively conservative, preserving many aspects of Archaic Matoric, while also incorporating innovated forms from other dialects, and has the status of a lingua franca within the Cranial, Acromial, and Superventral regions (“far north”, “upper northern”).

Metru Matoric (MMtc.): Descendant of North Matoric; cover-term for the diverse dialects originating in the subregions of the city of Metru Nui. The most notable representative of Metru Matoric is the Le-Matoran dialect of “Chutespeak”.

North Insular Matoric (NIsl.): Regional dialect-group of the individual islands and island chains of the Superventral (“upper northern”) region (excluding the Northern Continent), somewhat localized toward the Dextral Lateral (“northwest”); historically associated with the ancient Kingdom of Kalmah.

North Continental Matoric (NCtl.): Primary dialect of the Northern Continent (excluding the Tren Krom Peninsula), covering the (Medial) Superventral (“northern”, “upper northern”) regions; historically associated with the ancient Kingdom of Pridak.

Tren Krom Peninsular Matoric (TKP): A dialect of the Northern Continent, originating in the Tren Krom Peninsula region. The dialect exhibits features of both Northern Continental Matoric (NCtl.) and southern dialects (likely as a result of influence by the Makuta in the post-Matoran Civil War period).

South Insular Matoric (SIsl.): Regional dialect-group of the individual islands and island chains of the Ventral (“southern”) region (excluding the Southern Continent); exhibits many instances of contact with South Continental Matoric (SCtl.) and northern dialects, esp. North Insular Matoric (NIsl.).

South Continental Matoric (SCtl.): Primary dialect of the Southern Continent, covering the full Ventral and Sub-/Inferioventral (“southern”, “far south”) regions; historically associated with the ancient kingdoms of Mantax and Carapar, as well as with the Makuta Collective and its associates.

Far South Regional Matoric (FSRg.): Regional dialect-group of the individual islands and island chains of the Subventral (“lower southern”) region; historically associated with the ancient Kingdom of Carapar.

Austral Matoric (AuMtc.): Regional dialect-group of the individual islands and island chains of the Sinestral Brachial (“eastern corridor”) region; historically associated with the ancient kingdom of Takadox.

Occidental Matoric (OcMtc.): Regional dialect-group of the individual islands and island chains of the Dextral Brachial (“western corridor”) region; historically associated with the ancient domain of Artakha.

Archaic Aquatic Matoric (AAqc.): The earliest attested form of the Aquatic Matoric dialect, coeval with (and possibly derived from) Archaic Matoric (AMtc.). The label AAqc. is more precisely a cover-term for a range of linguistic variants manifesting amongst the various aquatic and amphibious species in the early Mata System.

Aquatic Matoric (Aqc.): Primary dialect associated with species inhabiting the undersea regions of the universe, esp. localized in the Superventral (“upper northern”) region; historically associated with the ancient Kingdom of Ehlek.

Proto-Agoric (PAgc.): A reconstructed stage of the Agoric branch of the Spherus Magnan Language, also labelled Deep-Proto-Agoric; the deep-time ancestor of Old Agoric (OAgc.). Forms in PAgc. are listed as unattested (marked with *). This form of language was utilized in work by the Great Beings (such as the construction of the Proto-Matoric language) even though it had not been spoken by populations on Spherus Magna for anywhere from 300 to 900 millennia before the Shattering (400-1000k). It has been speculated that the Great Beings’ access to and subsequent use of Proto-Agoric was a result of their development of technologies allowing psychometric and transtemporal perception.

Old Agoric (OAgc.): A widespread dialect functioning as a lingua franca across a wide area of Spherus Magna in the period preceding the Shattering, spoken by both the Great Beings (in addition to their use of Proto-Agoric) and their associates. A variety of lexical items were “transplanted” from OAgc. as a result of some contact (likely unintended by the Great Beings) between populations speaking Archaic Matoric and users of OAgc. in the pre-launch period. The dialects of Common Agoric (CAgc.), West Agoric (WAgc.) and North Agoric (NAgc.) descend from OAgc. in the post-Shattering period.

ABBREVIATIONS KEY:

Proto-Matoric (PMtc.), Archaic Matoric (AMtc.), Inscribed Archaic Matoric (IAM), North Matoric (NMtc.), Metru Matoric (MMtc.), Ga-Metru Matoric (GaMtc.), Le-Metru Matoric (LeMtc., “Chutespeak”), Onu-Metru Matoric (OnMtc.), Po-Metru Matoric (PoMtc.), Ta-Metru Matoric (TaMtc.), North Insular Matoric (NIsl.), North Continental Matoric (NCtl.), Tren Krom Peninsula (TKP), South Insular Matoric (SIsl.), South Continental Matoric (SCtl.), Far South Regional Matoric (FSRg.), Austral Matoric (AuMtc.), Occidental Matoric (OcMtc.), Archaic Aquatic Matoric (AAqc.), Aquatic Matoric (Aqc.), Proto-Agoric (PAgc.), Old Agoric (OAgc.).

#bionicle #conlanging #matoran language #matoran dictionary #agori language #agori dictionary #outofgloo #3e #dialects #matoric #agoric

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Fair warning: it's a long post. Let's examine some of the reasons that Kara has cited why she didn't tell Lena the super secret:

1. She wanted to protect her

Now, this one has some legs on it as Kara specifically mentions it in S3 during a conversation with James and Mon-El. And there's definitely some truth to it. But it's also bullshit. Lena was in constant danger and put herself at risk to save/protect Kara who didn't actually need it. In fact, the first time Lena's mentioned (not shown just mentioned) it's in regards to the venture explosion - something that happened because Lex was trying to kill her. People have been trying to kill, kidnap, manipulate, threaten Lena since minute one. Knowing Kara = SG would not have severely worsened any of that. In fact, it might've helped ease Lena's anxieties and resulted in her taking less risks with her life. In fact, I'm surprised Lena didn't think that Kara's association with her was putting Kara at risk (a far more likely thing).

The 100th episode addresses this to some degree in one of the AUs. Lena tells Kara that she wouldn't have had to risk her life dealing with Sam/Reign alone if she'd known the truth and she's absolutely right. And sure, Lena could've told SG and the DEO when she pieced Reign = Sam together but ask yourself, why would she? What assurance did she have that the DEO would not have treated her BEST FRIEND like a hostile instead of someone in need of help? The DEO is guilty of this and they have a history of locking up aliens indefinitely and on occassion straight up murder. After Reign nearly killed their biggest asset (i.e. SG) why in the hell would Lena trust them with helping Sam? She wouldn't nor should she have. She didn't know that she could go to SG because remember, Lena doesn't think of her the same way she does of Kara. SG is not her best friend. She doesn't have a personal, humanized relationship with her (at least not that she knows of). And obviously she's not going to tell Kara the human reporter with the DEO agent sister about it either. And the kryptonite? SG lost her shit over it even though she's been working with the DEO who stockpiled the stuff until SM left with it (a dumbass move that would've bit them so hard in the ass with the WK situation if it weren't for Lena's kryptonite!). Plus, Kara didn't have an issue with Oliver having a kryptonite arrow, J'onn having a sword. But Lena? How dare she!

So yea no. I get that "I kept my secret to protect you" is a popular thing in the hero world but in the case of Kara and Lena, it doesn't make sense and it did make situations unnecessarily harder.

2. She didn't trust Lena

This is mentioned by Kara to William in a deleted scene from S5 but I think it's worth exploring. I'm not sure to what extent Kara means with this but it could be referring to the moments as SG where she did display a distrust of Lena's intentions and she used Lena's personal relationships against her (i.e. asking James to break into Lena's lab). I mentioned the S3 shitshow with the kryptonite which is where a lot of this started but there's also other scenes in that same season where SG pretty much calls into question the so-called trust she has in Lena despite claiming otherwise. The switch was so abrupt the minute she learned Lena not only had but knew how to make kryptonite. Did anyone ever consider why Lena would bother learning how to make kryptonite? I'd hazard a guess that it was something she was looking into even before Sam/Reign. I think she happened to find Lex's stock and she decided to learn how it works and why it affects the Supers like it does. That would explain how Lena seems to be the ONLY ONE able to make an anti-kryptonite suit and other viable forms of the rock (i.e. Harun el). But no, SG and others immediately jump to the worst conclusions and associate the endeavour with Lena's last name, something SG KNOWS Lena is sensitive about it. And then the harun el. SG was suddenly fine with Lena making it when it was to split Sam from Reign and save Argo from extinction. But when it was used for something else that Lena didn't clue her in on (and what do you know, Alex, Brainy and James didn't either and they KNEW what Lena was doing with it) she got back on her high horse and the distrust became front and centre. You can't trust Lena as Kara and then immediately distrust her as SG and expect her to be accepting of this dichotomy. I'm surprised the woman managed to retain her sanity.

And still, this reasoning doesn't quite hit the mark in comparison to every other insistence of Kara believing in Lena (from day one she even told Clark that she believed Lena after meeting her for the first time). But the contrasting opinions and actions must have given Lena pause. I don't blame her to call into question which version of the truth was real and choosing to believe the worst. It's what SG and the SFs have been doing to her.

3. She was wary of Lena

This isn't an explicitly given reason but I do think it's how the secret keeping started in S2. Frankly, I don't even blame Kara for not showing her full deck in the beginning because she (and even us as an audience) didn't know much about Lena beyond wanting to do good and not be like her family. So no, Kara not telling Lena in the beginning actually makes sense to me (though she told Nia in a split second but that's neither here nor there). For me, I started to seriously take Lena at her word after the Medusa episode. That would've been the perfect opportunity for her to show the true "xenophobic" colours some parts of the fandom accuse her of having and she didn't do it. I don't think she even got so much as a thank you for it. People praise SM for getting Lex arrested but ultimately it was Lena's testimony that got him thrown behind bars. Same thing with Lillian! And yes, the daxamite invasion was facilitated by Lena unwittingly working with Rhea but she fixed it with the lead dispersal bomb, a device she allowed SG the privilege of using or not. So Kara and the SFs being cautious about Lena really should've evaporated halfway through S2 (and it did for Kara at least). In fact, the daxamite invasion may not have happened if Lena knew exactly who Rhea was and her relation to Mon-El because they would've warned Lena about it. Lena did want Kara's advice on Rhea and she would've waited for it if she knew what was going on (i.e. Alex being held hostage) and hell, might've been able to fix it in typical Lena ex machina fashion.

4. She didn't want to lose her

This is probably as close to the truth as we've gotten and it's actually part of her confession in 5x01 (something her outburst in 5x19 tries to undo). But the thing is, Kara KNEW this was a possibility and yet, continued walking towards the deadly cliff with her eyes wide open. The probability of losing Lena got higher and higher as time went on and it was always inevitable. There was always this spotlight placed on Kara telling Lena or Lena finding out on her own but there was always a HUGE chance that Lillian would've told her. Or Lex, which is exactly what happened. And Kara knew that they knew and yet she did nothing about it. The minute kara found out Lillian knew she should've taken action, what guarantee did she have that Lillian wouldn't have gotten bored of waiting for Lena to piece it together? How can they just leave Lillian with dangerous knowledge like that is beyond me. When Alex in particular has made such a big deal about people knowing, didn't want Kara telling Lena, only allowed Kara to tell Lucy to save J'onn and yet, letting Lillian amble about with this info is okay??? Nothing was stopping her from telling Lena or it slipping during one their chess games and definitely nothing stopping Lex from dropping that bomb.

The 100th episode AUs showed us that each time it was Kara telling the truth, no matter how hurt and upset Lena rightfully was, she was ultimately fine with it. And Kara ends up losing her to death, not because Lena walked away. How this wasn't the takeaway message for Kara after that adventure, idk. It was Kara's hesitatancy in telling Lena that allowed Lex to weaponize this secret and twist it into something it never was. And yes, Kara doesn't owe a damn soul her secret and has rarely ever been given the chance to tell anyone on her own terms (James - told by SM, Alex, J'onn, Brainy, Mon-El, the Legion - always knew, Lex & Lillian, Lord & Cat - found out somehow). She only ever got to tell Winn, Lucy and Nia and I'm sorry but none of those people have ever proven themselves trustworthy at the time of the reveal the way Lena has.

So while Kara is every right to keep her secrets, she was wrong to insert herself in Lena's life if she never had any intention of telling her and let's be honest, it really didn't seem like Kara had any timeline on that front.

5. She was selfish

Similar to the above and also mentioned during the confession but this is even deeper. Lena was something of an outlet for Kara, a way to feel completely normal, something she hasn't been able to experience with anyone, even Mon-El. Can you imagine being a cub reporter who knows powerful CEO Lena Luthor and having said CEO choose to spend time with you? Choose to let you interview her when she's wary of the press (remember her interactions with Clark in 2x01 and her family history)? Choose to treat your problems as important and valid and human? I don't blame Kara at all for being selfish with Lena, for wanting to keep Lena all to herself like that. But to not share the other aspects of herself was seriously wrong too and resulted in this imbalance in their relationship. To Lena, it looks like she was giving all of herself when Kara was not. It looks like she put all her trust and vulnerabilities out there when Kara didn't. It looks like Kara was using her (which let's be real, she kinda did a few times in S2 with the fight club and bs article to get info on Lillian and then ofc the CatCo-Edge problem she visited Lena for after ignoring her and proceeding to continue the rejection after Lena said she'd look into it).

You think post-reveal Lena didn't think back to all those moments and have those kinda thoughts? Even called into question what might've been the real reason James dated her and Kara was so insistent on befriending her? Were there perhaps times were she figured it out and can't remember and what's why she chose not to see it? Why do we think she still showed up game night in 4x22 instead of confronting Kara? Because these thoughts amongst others must've been swarming her mind and the only way to keep the upper hand is to continue playing dumb. So yes, Kara made the conscious decision to be selfish with Lena because of the unexpected connection they forged and I get it totally. But Lena has never been selfish and she's always made hard efforts to be a damn good friend (and she was idc what others might think on that) and open herself up to Kara despite how difficult and frankly foreign that is for her.

So are Kara's reasons valid? To a point, I would say yes but their validity waned over the seasons to the point where the secret keeping didn't even make sense anymore.

So was Lena's anger valid? Yes! 100% it was and honestly, I'm surprised she managed to keep it together for so long. I couldn't. But her anger doesn't justify her actions (mind control, manipulating Kara, threatening Russell, holding J'onn's bro captive, putting Hope inside Eve) and how she went out of her way to hurt Kara back. However, I get why she did it though it's worth pointing out that this is the only instances of a betrayal in her life where Lena has gone this far. Bitch straight up spiralled where previously she would cut ties and move the fuck on with life. But with Kara, that doesn't even seem to manifest itself to Lena as an option. Will the show ever address the obvious WHY for this and for Kara being so so terrified of losing Lena (like honestly I have never seen Kara look more distressed).

Maybe, maybe not but regardless I'm not buying this platonic friends nonsense because no one is that devastated over a friendship. Many of us (myself included) have experienced falling outs with very close friends and breakups. Which one do you think the Kara/Lena rift in S5 felt like? It was full on heartbreak, loving someone in complete torment and not being able to stop despite wanting to because even though it's painful, the alternative is infinitely worse.

MB and KM's acting choices aside, these idiot showrunners have brought us to this point with their own narrative and the only logical next step is to make them canon.

Lol okay I'm done.

#long ass post i know #but i had to get this all out #because i just can't look at canon events any other way #its all led to this from 'and who are you exactly?' and it hasn't slowed down #kara's ultimate underlying reason is that she's dangerously in love and i will die on that hill #supercorp #coffee speaks