#and guess what! most of the romance does happen in literal side stories! literally an add-on that does nothing for the plot! i hate it!

[lloydfrontera]

tfw when you write an entire novel with two protagonists that spent the entire plot getting closer to each other, becoming best friends and eventually both of them deciding they would rather die than allow the other to not live a long, fulfilling life, their friendship carrying most of the emotional weight of the entire plot and the emotional climax being one of them sacrificing his life so the other can live and then the other crossing literal universes to find him, a tearful smile in his face as he confesses how much he missed him. which is the scene you wanted to write and show the most because, again, this is the pay off to the slowburn you've been writing in the entire novel and what everything has been building up to since the very first chapter. and then you end the novel by having them share a smile, finally confident they'll be able to have a happy future.

but you also just gotta have one of them marry offscreen because everyone knows you can't be happy if you're not in a het marriage with kids lmao it's whatever it's okay i'm fiNE-

#i talk a lot <3 #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #this post was going to be so much more bitter this is me being nice akjshdkahdk #i just....... i'm sad alsjdsjkal #and i don't think i'm wrong to be. like i'm not disapointed bc i don't actually expected lloyd and javier to be together #i'm not that optimistic lmao #but i did have the hope tged would have no romance #because lloyd and javier were already doing so much in the emotional and relationship development front of the plot #that adding romance just feels. awkward. like an aside. an add-on that affects none of the plot and is just there to make sure #no one accidentally gets confused and think those two are in love #and guess what! most of the romance does happen in literal side stories! literally an add-on that does nothing for the plot! i hate it! #it's the heteronormativity and amatonormativity of it all :/ #do i think it would've been cool for llojavi to be canon? absolutely! do i think it was necessary for the plot? nope! #they were already perfect the way they are! their friendship is the core of the entire plot and their relationship to each other #is what ultimately moves much of the plot in the latter half! #which is the way relationships should work in fiction! not just have them for the sake of having them! #lloyd didn't need a romantic subplot because the plot was already working perfectly without it! #also what's the point of having a character constantly think about what their idea of 'happy life' is if you're not going to challenge it #it's about the hero's journey of it all!!! #i have things to say dang it! #javier asrahan #tged

[zvezdacito]

// TWST Book 7 spoilers, thoughts of Malleus's writing as a character

So I was reading some other people's opinions on why some people consider Malleus overrated/annoying, and tbh this makes me really sad. The general consensus is that a lot of people fixate on certain sides and can only see him as one extreme or the other and it results in many ppl thinking a watered down version of his character is how he is in canon.

I feel that its such a shame because he's the most interesting, compelling and well-rounded take on his character archetype I've seen.

From my observation, usually they kinda make this archetype (the broody misunderstood 'everyone fears him like a monster except for one special person') someone you can't take that seriously, because of how his struggle usually kind of written in a way where everyone involved feel less like actual fully fledged original characters and really just one note tropes interacting with other one note tropes.

To elaborate: What i mean when i say this is usually ppl who hate him kind of just do because of plot requires them to and to show how all their haters are "normies" who can't get him because 'he's not like everyone else'. The misunderstood guy still usually has toxic personality issues but the story really tends to make it feel like they don't fear him for that but because they're shallow and have prejudice to ppl like him, so his personality issues are not framed as wrong or character flaws.

I don't think there's anything inherenrly wrong or mediocre with the "one special person who gives him a chance before anyone else" trope like I'm literally a Malleyuu enjoyer lol but like i said its all in the execution cause otherwise it fails to be compelling and believable. Usually in the poorly written version of this trope the guy doesn't undergo any character development other than showing more emotion and kindess to his partner because they melted his ice I guess so it really makes his whole character feel like its revolves around the sake of romance and fanservice.

Malleus doesn't fall into this trap in my opinion because his situation despite how fantastical it is, the way he was written makes it believable as to why everything is the way it is with him, and it also challenges the viewer if they would be able to say they wouldn't fear him too in that situation.

"We're gonna give you this character who everyone sees as a monster and show you deep down he just wants the same love as everyone else, making you contemplate changing judgement on him. He wants to prove this, but his way of going about it always inadvertently harms others."

"You know where hes coming from and if he had that social connection to give him a better understanding of others this wouldn't be happening, but its also equally understandable that the people hes trying to connect with don't deserve this and fear him even more after this, trapping him in a cycle of isolation."

"Given his track record, do you go about giving him a chance or just considering the repeatedly proven danger he brings. With the valid reasons of both parties, can you really say he isn't a monster and demand that 'if only people be near him'?"

There's just such a tragic and thought-provoking dilemma to his character that adds so many layers that makes him so good.

As omniscient viewers we have the benefit of seeing what he's going through form his POV so we can sympathize with him and understand that he thinks what he's doing is the best course of action and he's just trying to create a "win for everyone" situation.

But also everything he does ironically reaffirms everyone's fear and distrust of someone like him. No one can deny he has a tendency to cause further destruction when he tries to do something "good", examples including: past Briar Valley lantern lighting fire, the Halloween 2 ghost world party, and now his Sleeping Curse stunt in Book 7 Part 2 (they really emphasize this by making the spoken name of his UM basically mean "Malicious Fairy" but have its written name used to convey what its meant to mean be "Blessing").

↑ Given this, it honestly makes sense others, especially those who don't know him all that well, would just expect the worst when he's around already, and you wouldn't be able to blame them for that given the track record. It doesn't help that this impression is worsened since he tends to cause misunderstandings due to his lack of familiarity with human social cues.

Alongside the bias and preconceived notions from his status and reputation, they also make a point on how his personality flaws are still also a huge factor in pushing people away, such as not being able to see things through the perspective of others.

He also holds a subconcious belief due to what has been ingrained in him since childhood as a Draconia and the next in line that because he's superior to others at certain things, he has the right and responsibility to decide on what will protect and help them, disregarding the individual values/priorities of human beings and leading him to take reckless and destructive action with good intentions.

His upbringing, character strengths and character flaws are all realistically connected to each other and the way they are subtly shown to be ever-present in defining his decisions, goals and thoughts throughout the whole story. So we don't really need to have a character go out of their way to exposition this to us this word for word just so we can understand and believe it.

Moving onto something slightly more lighthearted, I really also like how dorky Malleus surprisingly was. Other similar characters in the archetype I usually see don't really have any hobbies, interests, or quirks outside of being a broody authority figure, which might've been appealing to some at first but it really just gets stale and boring after a while.

This should be the bare minimum in making a fleshed out and interesting character so maybe i sound like im giving them too much credit for pointing it out😭 But yeah compared to the other examples it's good that Malleus has his Tamagotchi and Gargoyle interests it makes him feel like a believable person who has his own life going on too (with the bonus that these interests are also metaphors for aspects of his character). The gap moe adds an endearing side to him, and makes the gap between his intent and impact of his actions even more tragic. It wouldn't hit the same without this side.

(^ Forgot how the exact quote goes, but it basically said dark stories are more effective when there are moments of genuine happiness and good in them, compared to if it was always just grim and edgy. The former increases the stakes and tragedy because you have something you to care about losing, while for the latter there is nothing for you to care about so nothing the story does really matters. Same logic applies to Malleus)

Overall, it's just like an unfortunate incompatibility of goals and circumstances, which is what TWST is all about. Another thing I want to say is out of all the characters, I feel like Malleus is the one who is the ultimate embodiment of TWST's main themes:

-> How it's not about "hero" vs "villain" just differing circumstances crossing paths and clashing because of how people on either side have their own complex perspective and dreams they want to realize

-> And how connection and finding community is important to find people who will help you make up for what you lack in reaching your goals and to better understand all the factors that caused the situation in the first place.

As if seeing yourself reflected in a mirror, the more you get to know the people around you, you realize in many ways you are actually quite alike, and through understanding others you could also possibly better understand certain aspects of yourself. It's sort of encouraging you to do the opposite of dehumanizing others and yourself, which is something Malleus has most evidently internalized.

So yeah this was so long😭 I had a lot I wanted to say since Malleus is my favorite TWST character. Idk if I missed anything or if i managed to express my thoughts in a cohesive way but yeah. I kinda go into a rage whenever I see the worst takes ever be put out about his character but tbh sometimes I can't completely blame others since fandom trends and the convenience of simplifying things into tropes can warp your perception of a character and what you associate with them.

Also sometimes twst doesn't do a good job with utilizing his character like Book 5 where he got turned into a deus ex machina and Halloween 2 where they killed any hype and intrigue for the plot we had at the beginning through the ending reveal and gave the worst justification ever for Malleus and Lilia's actions ever.

Regardless, I hope more people manage to move past this and appreciate his character for what it really is soon though. He's an amazingly tragic character; a lot of thought was put into how his experiences, strengths and weaknesses would convincingly connect, and he represents something relevant in the story's plot and themes.

The fact that I've seen some people unironically believe that Malleus may just be faking his cluelessness of social cues to hide his "true evil" is evidence to how convincing his character's situation is, that even some in the audience who know more about him than the characters would still end up in the same place of doubt and distrust of Malleus because of what he's capable of.

Aight thank you for reading👍

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #twst writing analysis ? #diasomnia #i am his number 1 defender #ignore me just putting random photos in between text i tried separating chunks of text to make it more readable lol #twst character analysis ?

[eeldritchblast]

Thoughts on Halsin

I want to preface this by saying I don't have anything particularly against Halsin as he is in game. But I do find him lacking in depth, when compared to everyone else.

Even without knowing that he was added as a full companion last minute, I would probably have guessed as much simply because there's not much to him beyond the role he plays in the Shadow-Curse quest of Act 2. This is lampshaded with dialogue about how he himself feels consumed by his determination to end the curse. But to me, that just feels like a cop-out. Imagine any other character looking at the camera and just saying "yeah I know I don't have much character beyond what happens to me in the plot, too bad?"

But I think the worst crime about his lack of development, is the fact that because he doesn't have a lot else going on, he feels a little overly sexualized to me; like he's just there for the player to thirst after because he's this big, bulky man. Now, to be clear, I don't care that he's horny, and I definitely don't care that he's poly. (My GF is a poly lesbian, and honestly I could see myself having more than one romantic relationship , too, if someone else was ever interested in me like that and cool with it.) What I'm trying to say is, because he's lacking in other areas, leaving those traits being of his few you can list, it makes them feel of less value, and makes him feel more like a sex prop. And if you're gonna have a character with rape victim as part of his background like Halsin has, then that's the last thing you want, I think.

So, what more could be done with Halsin?

I once made a joke that someone should draw Halsin in a "Big Auntie Energy" shirt. For those of you who aren't Native, let me try to translate: In most if not all Indigenous Nations, we often call women who are champions of our cultures and communities "Auntie", whether they are actually literally your aunt or not. An Auntie is someone you dearly love, and trust to guide you. Halsin already plays something of a mentor figure to the protagonist—indeed, dev notes even call him "avuncular"—so why not lean into it further by showing what he does for others, too? Pretending that there was more development time allotted, here's what I would've liked to see...

"This place crawls with life, but little of it flourishes. I see refugees, unhoused. The destitute, unwanted. Orphans, unloved. … I wish there was a better way. I wish everyone could see the sun, have a full belly, and know nature as a friend. There is a balance that is yet to be found." —Halsin

After ending the Shadow-Curse, Halsin says he needs to find a new purpose. I feel like his purpose could easily align with his horror of the inequalities of Baldur's Gate. Instead of just talking about how awful it is, why not allow the player to challenge him to try and change things, then? For example, I like to imagine Halsin telling stories to the orphans in Rivington, providing them comfort and someone to look up to. Or another example: Halsin helping out in or maybe starting some kind of charity meal program. It's small, but it's enough to say that he could actually grow a little as a person within the game's story. And it would add at least a little bit of engagement on the player's end as well, instead of feeling like the relationship with Halsin, platonically, is one-sided.

This all doesn't come from nowhere, by the way. If you exclusively romance Halsin, he says goodbye to the player in the end because he is leading a group of people into Thaniel's realm to start a new life. But personally, I feel like this is too great a leap back into an Archdruid role he specifically rejected, because he didn't like it. It also would've been nice to get this kind of dialogue without having to romance him; to know what lies ahead for Halsin as a friend, too.

Now, that's the good ending. But almost all the companions in BG3 have a "good" and "evil" ending. I feel like this really adds a lot of insight into the characters, because they feel real through it; we all have the potential to make good and bad choices, after all. So what could be Halsin's evil-aligned ending? Well, remember when he questions if the Shadow Druids actually have a point? How about giving the player the opportunity to push him further down that path instead... Shadow Druid Halsin, holy shit.

Now, there's one more thing I want to circle back to: Halsin's past. He very casually speaks of his time as a captive in the Underdark. And maybe it was so long ago that he's long dealt with such trauma, but still, I really wish there was a way to say "hey bud, that's really fucked up and I'm sorry that happened to you." But there's not a single dialogue option that allows you to express sympathy, besides just saying "that's awful", which doesn't cut it. Halsin himself says, "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." Not allowing the player to be sensitive to his feelings goes exactly against this message not to judge a person's emotions by physical appearances.

Anyway, Halsin is a character that I think has a lot of potential, but doesn't quite reach it in game. I think it's great that he was given a bigger role due to popularity, but I just wish that role was expanded on to the same degree as the other companions.

#halsin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #meta #rape tw

[theerurishipper]

Oh god finally. Someone who also hates season 5 Adrinette! Finale gaslighting of Adrien aside…. I found the romance boring? It was kind of hard to watch? The second hand embarrassment of certain scenes me me have to pause and take breaks lmao. The first 2 seasons of LadyNoir weren’t like this, so I know they can write romance if they wanted to! What makes you hate Adrinette in season 5? Because personally I think it has issues even if you erase the gaslighting of the finale

Anon, it's like you read my mind.

I'll just come out and say it. Pre-reveal Adrienette is literally the most boring and asinine way to get Marinette and Adrien together. It's not even about the ship. I like Adrienette. I enjoy reading fics focusing on it. But canonically, their relationship is not that developed and Ladynoir has the bulk of the development, which makes total sense since the show revolves around those sides of them. But they made Adrienette canon first, before the reveal, and I have things to say about that.

First of all, it's just so... lazy. Making Adrienette canon the way they did let them flake out on writing meaningful character development. The thing is, having Adrien do all the work is just bad. Marinette's whole arc that has been built up for four seasons is that she can't confess to Adrien. Part of her story is about gaining the courage and confidence to be able to tell him her feelings. But guess what? She didn't need to do shit, because that would mean the writers actually had to write character development, and that's too hard. So they had Adrien fall in love with Marinette and had him confess to her, which made it so much easier for them to get together. And it is just so lazy.

You know what else is lazy? How they wrote Marinette and Adrien's relationship in general. A part of Adrienette's relationship is that Marinette is under the impression that Adrien's life is perfect and that he has no problems at all. She just began to realize that that isn't the case in Risk. This was the perfect set up for some much-needed development in their relationship, because quite frankly Marinette and Adrien were not close at all before this. But now suddenly, Adrien is in love with her for seemingly no reason at all and she doesn't have to make the effort to get to know him, because he ends up pursuing her and just... lets her see the real him without any effort on her part. And it's like she just got handed the relationship without having to undergo any character development.

And it's so bad because Marinette was the one in any of their dynamics who had to learn to accept Adrien for who he was. She was the one who had to undergo the development of learning to love both sides of Adrien. She was the one who couldn't reconcile the idea that Adrien and Chat Noir were the same, and therefore couldn't love Adrien in his entirety. Adrien never had that problem. The moment he figured out Marinette was Ladybug, it just clicked for him. He already knew her and valued her. So, to have him be the one who has to give up on his feelings for Ladybug and fall for Marinette while Marinette doesn't have to start seeing him for who he is... it's just so bad. To have him do all the work and her not have to lift a finger and just get her dream boyfriend without truly knowing him... it's just bad writing!

And Adrien! I've always mentioned that he only exists to be Marinette's prop, and that is so visible here with the way he just... falls in love with her for no reason and does all the work to make Adrienette happen so that Marinette can just get what she wants handed to her without needing to grow as a person. And like, you're telling me he started to like her in Puppeteer 2? Fucking there? Don't make me laugh, show.

Apparently, all it took for him to fall in love with Marinette was her telling him that he should talk to his father. You mean, the same thing that Nino and Kagami and Plagg have been telling him throughout the series? Despite them knowing him better and being closer to him than Marinette? And apparently since that's all it took to make him fall in love with her, why didn't he fall in love with Nino or Kagami? Make it make sense!

And speaking of which, let's talk about the plot contrivances. Because Adrienette is the side of the square with the least development and least stakes, making it canon means they have nothing left to explore about it. So they introduce all these contrivances in order to try to make it interesting, and they do this at the expense of other plotlines. Marinette growing brave enough to confess? Forget that. Marinette realizing that she has a lot to learn about Adrien? Forget it. Ladybug and Chat Noir resolving their conflict from the previous season? Who's she?

Instead, we get episodes like Derision that deal with Marinette's supposed trauma that came outta nowhere. Now she's having trouble holding Adrien's hand and telling him she loves him. This was never a problem before. She held Adrien's hand just fine in episodes like Gorizilla and Chat Blanc and even as late as Risk. They made Marinette not being able to confess to Adrien about some retconned-in trauma instead of just about her not having the confidence to express herself. But no, we get this new trauma so that we can drag out the Adrienette drama for more episodes, because surely we have nothing else to deal with! Not like we have so many unresolved plot points and underdeveloped characters that could use some focus! The only reason Derision even exists is so that they can stretch this drama out for longer in an effort to pretend that it actually has something going on. Because now that Marinette knows that Adrien loves her, she shouldn't have any trouble telling him she loves him, and that would be the end of any relevance Adrienette has. So we get a bunch of episodes that go on and on about Marinette being unable to confess and Adrien being the Perfect Boyfriend™ who only exists to support her and help her with her trauma while asking nothing of her.

And speaking of Adrien, all he does throughout this season is talk about his relationship with Marinette. He isn't allowed to have any other emotions other than those that relate to her or Adrienette. Even his relationship with Gabriel is about how he's not letting him date Marinette. Him being a Sentimonster is only about how it affects Adrienette. And so, we get the scenes with Adrien blaming himself for Marinette's "suffering," and him being the one to change himself instead of her developing more confidence. The way they make it seem like Adrien has to change himself because of Marinette's reactions which are not his fault just so he can make her happy at his own expense is just... ugh. Like, I don't mind that he wants to help her be more confident, but the show puts the onus on him to be the one to do most of the work to make her feel comfortable and confident while she just sits back and doesn't grow or develop at all.

And this isn't a huge criticism compared to the actual problems I've laid out, but Adrienette is just so... bland. Like, it's the basic cookie cutter high school romance we've seen in hundreds of shows before this. I'll say it again, Ladynoir is what gives the square its flavor. Adrienette should have developed enough to be interesting in its own right and to compliment Ladynoir, but they chose to go the drama and contrivance route instead of developing their relationship. So, we have things like the whole sex metaphor thing, you know, because that's the most important thing in a season where Monarch is at his most powerful and Ladybug and Chat Noir should be more proactive.

I actually have more to say but I have no energy rn to say it. So I'll probably make a longer post about it sometime in the future.

Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrienette #Meta #My meta #Asks #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #Adrienette Salt

[sunshine-tattoo]

ok so im gonna clarify a few things for yall who were confused about "the circus".

Stolas was not pining after blitz for 25 years.

Did he have a crush when they were kids? Absolutely.

Was the memory of their time together important to him? 100%.

But he had very much grown up and moved on by the time they met again.

"But why did he flirt when they were reunited?"

Well for one thing he had just chugged an entire bottle of absinthe.

Don't know if any of you have tried that shit but even like two shots will knock you on your ass.

So he was very drunk.

Second, because the circumstances were like something out of a romance novel.

A childhood crush climbing into one's bedroom? I've had that dream before.

But I doubt he expected Blitz to flirt back.

He was very inexperienced when it came to sex because he had only ever been with Stella and for reproductive purposes.

So having someone actually want him back was kinda a shock to the system.

"But then why did he get all loud and kinky?"

Because this was a sexual awakening for him.

He was with someone who supposedly wanted him (something Stella never did) and was very attracted.

What's more, Blitz and Stolas are very sexually compatible.

This is proven in Blitz's staying all night.

He could have just given him a quick fuck and suck and then been out the window.

But he didn't. Because he was having a great time with a very welling and very sexy partner.

"So why is their relationship so complicated?"

1. Social hierarchies

2. Emotional baggage

Stolas and Blitz come from two very different positions in a society that is incredibly hierarchical.

To Stolas, this isn't a big deal because he thinks the rules are stupid.

But to Blitz it is a very big deal. Because he's the one at risk if this all goes tits up.

Whats more, Blitz is very aware that his first meeting with Stolas was literally because he was bought and paid for.

Per Vivzie, imps are often stolen or sold from families to be used for slave labor.

Blitz is very very afraid that one day he will end up like his fellows and be someone's belonging.

We can see that in his hallucination with stolas. He is chained at his side while other versions of himself fan stolas as slaves.

Stolas most likely has no idea about this fear because 1) he probably didn't know their childhood playdate was paid for and 2) he is unaware of how unequal things actually are.

This is where the emotional baggage comes in.

Stolas is essentially a clueless teenager in love (and sexually awakened) for the first time.

He assumes that nothing else matters beyond love, passion, and compatability.

But we all know that isn't true.

Blitz on the other extreme. He is head-over-heels for stolas. But he can't admit it to himself because 1) he thinks stolas is just using him for sex and 2) even if stolas did love him he doesn't want to risk heartbreak.

We don't know exactly why blitz has such intimacy and trust issues.

My guess is that he experienced death/ abandonment fairly young.

And that fizz left him at some point to become famous.

But whatever the reason, he can't break down his walls to let anyone in. Especially someone so much higher on the hierarchy.

"So how does all of this end?"

In terms of the overarching story? They will work through their shit and become a beautiful couple.

In terms of details? No idea. Because that is up to vivzie and Brandon on how they want to tell the story.

But most likely a few things will probably happen (also based on the clips in the trailer)

1. Blitz and Fizz need to work out their drama

2. Stolas needs to help Octavia understand why he left/ how abusive Stella was

3. Showdown with striker (and maybe find out his unique background)

There will be other arcs as well for the other characters of course. Loona needs to work on her issues. M&M will have more stuff with their families. Not to mention new characters to join in.

But overall, that is most likely the direction things will go over the course of this season and maybe even a third one.

#helluva boss blitz #helluva boss analysis #helluva boss #helluva boss the circus #stolitz #stolas #prince stolas

[morallygay]

🟩⬜️⬛️ Animes for aro/ace people - Part 2 ⬛️⬜️🟪

The list was getting a bit too long so I decided to make a different post.

~if you see this post as a reblog, make sure to go to the original post, chances are I edited and updated it! ;)

part 1 here

“Yofukashi No Uta” / “Call Of The Night” (13 episodes)🔻

The protagonist wants to become a vampire, but for that to happen you need to be bitten by a vampire you are in love with, and he’s aro (can be both seen as aroallo or acespec). It’s not canon canon in-universe, but like, it’s canon, that’s literally what the plot is about. It has awkward wording/takes coming from the characters sometimes but it got the spirit. I haven’t finished the manga but I’ve been told that the character’s aromance is not invalidated to the end, and the story is precisely about how he doesn’t need to be “fixed”. The show tackles amatonormativity and the value of platonic relationships :). If you can’t handle or don’t like sensual/sexual stuff though, know that it’s omnipresent.

“Shimanami Tasogare” / “Our Dreams At Dusk” (4 volumes)🔻

An LGBTQ+ manga with multiple kinds of representation, including an AAA battery (character who is agender/nonbinary and aroace). Canon and they said the word! Although they didn’t differentiate between aromantic and asexual; in my translation they used ‘asexual’ and meant it as aromantic as well I assume.

“Death Note” (37 episodes)🔻🔹

Another big one but I’ll assume you don’t know about it so, basically: So misogynistic it’s gay. But also so homophobic it’s aroace. And since it’s a psychological thriller, romance is virtually nonexistent, except for a side character annoying girl who is in LOVE with the protagonist. Protagonist who does not show any interest whatsoever in romance/sex. He’s a serial killer but #diversity win I guess. I have admittedly only read the manga once when I was 12 so I may not remember these things accurately.

“Jormungand” (12 episodes)🔻🔹

A personal fav for its eccentric and amoral vibes and characters. I see the protagonist (woman with white hair) as aroace. Problematic points: she has a weird groomer thing going on with the kid character; it’s implied that she’s teasing and she kind of does this with everyone and it’s part of her personality but it’s still uncomfortable. Also a secondary woman character has romantic feelings for her. This is a cool point but it’s also eh because it’s done in a pretty fetishistic way.

Also heads up: our main cast are arms dealer and there’s violence and war and child soldiers and it’s morally ambiguous

“Mob Psycho 100” (37 episodes + 2 OVAs)🔹

A must watch regardless. But in this context, a show about life wisdom and connection in the most fundamental human way, which makes it a very platonic show. Because of the nature of the relationships between the protagonist and the other main cast (master/‘parental’ figure, brother, intergenerational friendship), there is literally not even the place for shipping, apart from the 1 friend his age. And these platonic relationships, oh boy, are they explored and developed and heartwarming. The protagonist has an idealized crush on a girl and that’s the only romantic element there is, and it’s handled maturely and to carry the same main themes I mentioned earlier; it’s absolutely not there for the sake of being romanticized.

! Mp100 is a phenomenal show in many ways, queer representation is not one of them. it is very much incredibly cishet. warning for transmisogynistic humor.

“Kimi No Sekai Ni Koi Wa Nai” / “Is Love The Answer?” (1 volume)🔻

Another manga. It is a queer manga specifically about aromance and asexuality, following an aroace character (touch repulsed) and their experience of comphet and general compallo, feeling alienated, and then learning about this identity, finding queer community and accepting herself. It delves into the topics of labels and identity, acknowledging and embracing fluidity, vagueness, and spectrums. It actually presents specific aspec microidentities I’ve never seen acknowledged anywhere else in fiction, much less explored. It made me feel like crying and kicking my legs with glee. I won’t go say everything it talks about but I truly recommend it for anyone, not just aspec people; in general but especially if you want to learn more about the world of aspec identities. (Also not that any are reading this but I recommend it to exclusionists. Like idk how you can read this and not feel it evident that aspec people are queer)

The same author also did a manga called “Mine-kun Is Asexual” prior to this one, and wrote other things on the topics of romance, sexuality and gender identity :)

“Koisenu Futari” (="two people who can't fall in love" idk the official engish translation if there is one) (8 episodes)🔻

This is a japanese drama. I have broadened the original topic of these posts a bit but I realized that with the microscopic amount of representation we have, why would I intentionally deprive people from knowing about the existence of this show? It is specifically about aromance and asexuality, and follows 2 aroace people who decide to live together and form a queerplatonic relationship. There are many other elements to the story and it touches upon multiple aspects of the aspec experience (lol aspects aspec), starting obviously with allonormativity and amatonormativity. Also our 2 main characters are both fully aroace but the show does make the distinction between aromantic and asexual, and shows a alloromantic asexual character at one point just for that clarification.

“Last Gender” (2 volumes + 3rd and last one to be released in English in June)🔻

Similar to Shimanami Tasogare; it’s an LGBTQ+ manga. This one is centered around a sex bar which 'accepts anyone of any gender or sexuality'. It has an aroallo character, a lithromantic character, and a character who, to my understanding, would be the closest labelled as greyromantic and greysexual. That’s just for the aspec characters but there are other, particularily underrepresented, identities and kinds of people in this manga, like a pansexual person, a bigender person, polyamorous people, or ‘simply’ a gnc woman.

content warning: it’s sexually explicit. I mean the setting is literally a sex bar.

#as always if you wanna know where to watch/read one dm me anytime #aro ace anime #aspec anime #animanga #aroace #aromance #asexuality #anime recs #anime rec list #anime recommendation #yofukashi no uta #call of the night #shimanami tasogare #our dreams at dusk #death note #jormungand #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #is love the answer #kimi no sekai ni koi wa nai #koisenu futari #last gender

[longsightmyth]

what's a book or series that you genuinely love? I'm always seeing your commentary on "not so great" (bad) books (no hate, love ur commentary) but I'd love to know the ones you like best.

Ah tumblr search function you fail us yet again (inexplicable fondness).

"The ones I like best" is a very broad category that I will try to narrow down I guess?

My favorite book of all time remains The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by NK Jemisin. The other books in the trilogy are still excellent (I have yet to read anything by NK Jemisin that is not excellent) but specifically the first book of the inheritance trilogy remains my favorite. Other standouts of hers include the short story The Effluent Engine and the second book of the Dreamblood series, The Shadowed Sun (though, again! I cannot stress enough that I'm not even sure NK Jemisin could write a bad book/story if she wanted to!)

I routinely recommend all of Alyssa Cole's romances: not only are they incredibly inclusive, the characters navigate believable conflicts based around their characterization and not simply Because Of The Plot. Her contemporary romances are some of the few contemporary romances I enjoy: it's not usually my genre, but anything Alyssa Cole writes I will read. Shoutout to her expansion into horror, she's also one of the few authors who will get me to read THAT genre. Standouts include Can't Escape Love (novella), A Duke by Default, and Let It Shine (also a novella). Another author who I cannot stress enough: just go read her entire backlog okay. She's got historical romances in a range of time periods. She's got contemporary romances. She's got horror, god help me.

The other author who can convince me to read horror is T Kingfisher, aka Ursula Vernon. Her fairytale retellings are A+ and always contain horror elements, and she is another author who has yet to write a dud for me. Standouts include Nettle & Bone (NETTLE AND BOOOOOOOOONE), The Raven and the Reindeer, and The Seventh Bride.

Tamora Pierce is sort of a no-brainer here for me. Her books are not always perfect by any means, but they are always progressive for the time they are written and she continues to improve and take feedback into account. Plus you probably owe the existence of your favorite stabby ya lady to her. Tortall owns my heart because I read it first but she has a lovely magic school series in a different world where friendship is literally magic and social commentary the norm.

The Dragonriders of Pern is not for everyone. Much of the sexual politics in the early novels are, as I have discussed elsewhere, outdated, but the books evolved as Anne McCaffrey's understanding did, and there are soulmate dragons and impeccably rendered closed time loops (multiples! Happening at the same time!) and a constant discussion and tension of evolving social norms and the needs of society: at what point does technology become Too Much? Does it at all? What happens when the people in charge stop giving a shit about their responsibilities? Seriously the impeachment plot in Dragonseye/red star rising is nearly prescient. Most of these conflicts originate early on but don't truly come to fruition until later, and please take my word for it and simply don't read the books written by her son. They are bad.

The Witchlands series by Susan Dennard! Tbh I think this series deserves more love than it gets. It's not perfect, it can improve, but that's the thing: it routinely does. Dennard puts time and care into her work from all sides and discusses openly her early and middle mistakes, from a technical level to a 'needing a sensitivity reader' level.

Sarah Rees Brennan! Y'all know I love Sarah Rees Brennan, right? You should. She likes to explore tropes and genre convention and snappy, snappy dialogue. I haven't reread The Lynburn Legacy yet this year, but that's an anomaly. In Other Lands is pretty widely acknowledged as superior portal fantasy, I think. Tell The Wind and Fire was constrained by the book it was retelling and I think suffered for it, but that just means it wasn't as good as I personally think it could have been, not that it wasn't good at all. The Demon's Lexicon trilogy is her first series and yes, okay, it shows a little, but have you ever thought to yourself, hey. What if Supernatural was actually, like. Good. And wanted to actually explore in a thoughtful manner morality and what it means to be a person and nature vs nurture and how complicated your relationships with parents can be. Because if so, go give The Demon's Lexicon a shot.

The Rivers of London! We will excuse magic cops this once because they are specifically *magic* cops and because Nightingale literally fought nazis and Peter is pretty critical of the met in general. These books almost make me like London, and as a bonus Peter is fully aware that King Arthur was Welsh (look this is important to me okay)

Lockwood & Co! I am on the final book now and really enjoying my feral child soldier ghosthunters. I want to give them all soup. I want to wrap them all in blankets. My inexplicable attraction to the actor playing Kipps in the show is irrelevant to book enjoyment but I am still flabbergasted, by all accounts it doesn't make sense.

The Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold is space opera. I love it. I admittedly love the Cordelia and Ekaterin novels most, but that is a matter of my eternal love for ladies who are generally nice but willing to fuck shit up, they're all good.

Artemis Fowl! Criminal mastermind child WHO JUST NEEDS FRIENDS OH MY GOD. I cried at the end of the third book. It's fine! We're all fine! Colfer does an excellent job of portraying the fairies as having a culture different from ours with real reasons that they haven't taken over the world, and if you don't love Holly you're wrong.

I have more but I'll stop here for now I guess. Whoops.

[alovelyburn]

Miura saying gutsca aren’t in love yet makes a lot of sense. It’s not just that Guts struggles to center her throughout the story, but also that Miura never used the obvious romantic beats (like Guts saying the 100 man battle wasn’t fought for Casca specifically) and even structuring the story where Guts makes decisions that went against their budding romance (like keeping Casca in the dark about Griffith’s fake poisoning knowing it’ll hurt her). The foundation always seemed shakey to begin with

Yeah, it was not the most surprising thing he could have said about them to be honest. In the past I was always a bit reluctant to talk about Gutsca's specific feelings for each other because it's such an untouchable given to so many people but to me it was clear that... even though the relationship was probably intended to have potential and to be something readers could hope to see come to fruition, it was also specifically designed to have very serious challenges from both sides.

My feeling about the 100 man battle is that it was a combination of venting his frustration over Promrose and wanting to protect Casca not because he cared about Casca on a personal level but because he saw her having a dream (being with Griffith) as something that elevated her over him - a person who had no particular goals. So he both respects her enough to want her to survive to pursue her goals and sees her as a more worthy companion for Griffith than him (thus the matchmaking).

And honestly, if we were meant to see the romance as a perfect soulmate connection you wouldn't have so many blatant red flags between them - the skipped romantic beats, the mutual prioritization of Griffith to the point where they each independently decided to cancel their plans without talking to each other about it, right through to the the post-Eclipse world where he ditched her in a cave for two years.

Just offhand, other screaming red flags include:

Obviously the way Casca literally considered going after Griffith again during the rescue and then complained to Guts about it.

-and the fact that Guts was like, "I guess I'm just going to let it happen."

The way Guts reacted to Rickert and Erica saying she'd wandered off A MONTH AGO by being bitchy at Rickert and then having a chill conversation with Godo and going to bed. Sure he was mad about it and worried about her, but even so he showed no intention or drive towards looking for her himself; he only decided to do so when he started thinking about the Hawks and having abandoned Griffith and resultantly lost both him and the Hawks as a whole.

Nearly letting her burn to death in conviction (actually I guess he DID let her burn to death, it's Isidro that prevented it from actually happening)

Immediately considering ditching her again when Griffith came back and again only deciding to focus on her because he thought about his bad decisions re: Griffith and the Hawks.

Spending half of the next volume resenting her, fantasizing about raping and killing her and making actual attempts to do both of those things, resulting in her being terrified of him for the rest of the series until Elfhelm

Guts pulling Casca around on a rope

Skull Knight's warning that what Guts and Casca want may not be the same thing.

That line about being unable to put things back the way they were even if you want to

The way Miura blocked Guts from answering every time someone asked him about their relationship - this one is interesting because he does the same thing when Guts tries to consider killing Griffith - its the equivalent of "....." (and sometimes literally ..... in Griffith's case), which makes me think its a way of conveying his complicated/mixed feelings.

The fact that her mindscape portrays their relationship as Guts being burdened by her (in the coffin)

The fact that in said mindscape the Guts dog nearly destroyed Casca/her coffin when the Griffith image showed up

And three more complicated things:

First, the way he envisions her when he thinks about her and what was lost. I always found it interesting that he very rarely thinks about their romance - I think he flashes back to their meadow scene like one time. Most of the time he thinks of her as a soldier, and I just find that very interesting.

Second, the way she can't look at him post-restoration or, more specifically, his reaction to it. I'm not saying he doesn't wish it weren't like that. It's just that his attitude about it really echoes back to when she was vacillating over him and Griffith again - he just lets it happen and doesn't really have much of a reaction to it. He's just willing to let her slip away. This one is more complicated because I do think it hurts him, but I don't think his passive acceptance and relative lack of frustration or reaction is... great for their prospects.

And third, the way he literally hasn't thought about her even once since she got kidnapped. The reason I consider this one complicated is because obviously the series is no longer by Miura, and has become a sort of highlights version that reflects the story as relayed to Mori. But the interesting side effect of that is that we kind of know what Miura considered the most important parts of the story -- the bones onto which he would have layered flavor and personality and nuance.

And apparently what he told Mori was "Griffith kidnaps Casca and Guts becomes depressed because his sword let him down and then loses his mind thinking about Griffith, which I find very telling.

Now that may have seemed like a sidenote/rant but it isn't. Because it's the same thing - Miura repeatedly raised situations that could have been utilized to solidify their bond and convey that Guts loved her, or at least that he prioritized her well-being over Griffith(whether Griffith himself, his machinations or Guts own war against him), but the opportunity was undermined it every time right down to the big romantic reunion turning into a horror show.

Of course that doesn't mean they won't end up together - I do think the reader is probably meant to want them to work their shit out and get it together and find each other again. Even so I do think those flaws, those red flags, are there it's just a question of whether they get past them or not.

I think for me the biggest argument against them ending up together is that one of the biggest issues Guts has is that he's kind of ... trapped in the past. "The campfire still burns" and all. That has always been portrayed a general negative - his fixation with Gambino was a problem and the way he refused to let go of the Hawks even when they'd all died was so weird and unnerving that Rickert was visibly uncomfortable with it. Also his inability to move on from the Hawks is what fuels his revenge drive, and Berserk has always portrayed that as self-destructive.

Point being I just wonder if having him end up with the woman he spent one night with and then moped about for years thereafter - someone who explicitly represents the Hawks that hes' been unable to let go of or move on from to his own detriment - is really the way it's meant to go.

I mean, maybe the answer is yes that's how it's meant to go, I wouldn't be shocked. But it's a decent question nonetheless. Something to ponder, I guess.

#ask #anonymous #ariel talks about berserk

[chirpsythismorning]

Y’all will be your own undoing the fact none of you have not even the slightest bit of doubt is rather worrying. what happens if neither is endgame and let’s say Mike is killed off? You can’t say that won’t happen either because you don’t know the same way you can’t say byler is endgame because you don’t know hell even milevens can’t say they’re ship is endgame because they don’t know. Ego is ruining both sides and neither side is correct and shouldn’t proclaim to be.

I'm sorry anon, but I'm not all bylers. While there are a great deal of bylers like myself who have less doubts these days, there are plenty that have mostly doubts. PLENTY. Arguably the vast majority. And for good reason, ie. history.

To be completely honest anon, I don't think you're worried about bylers and their lack of doubts. I think their lack of doubt scares you bc it's caused you to go from confident to having doubts yourself. Why else would you be here on anon all condescending otherwise?

Personally, I'm not even here bc I want to believe byler's endgame. And no offense to those that have went through it, because the whole point of queer-baiting is to basically mock queer fans and lead them on with no intention of following through, but I have never been queer-baited before.

I did however, like many milkvans, go into Stranger Things loving Mike and El under the assumption they were peak romance. I literally skipped all of s2 during my first rewatch to get to their reunion! But genuinely, do we think the show is supposed to be watched that way?? Hell no.

If you're having to skip all of s2, most of s3, most of s4 in rewatches, bc Mike and El are separated, fighting, or broken up, what does that tell you?

If you're having resentments for characters like Max and Lucas and Will and Hopper bc the story has made points to have those characters interfere with your confidence in Mike and El romantically, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're probably watching the show wrong. To be clear, if you have resentment for ANY of the main characters, you are missing something!!!

And that was my problem back then when I subscribed to these assumptions, because I WANTED to believe Mike and El were the pinnacle of romance, despite the signs incoming that went against it. And what that meant is I had to hold resentments for all the characters, including Mike and El themselves and even the Duffer Brothers for ruining what I WANTED to believe.

After s3, me, my friends, family and quite honestly anyone I spoke to about the show, said that it went downhill since the previous two seasons. And I do think a big part of the reason why, is because of the Mike and El conflict conflating everything. It felt regressive. And s4 repeating that exact storyline????

It took me a while to even consider byler as an idea. It's not like I latch onto every non-canon mlm ship and just ship for nothing (very few bylers do this, no matter how much anti's need to convince themselves this is the case as an excuse to be homophobic).

I am a hopeless romantic. Doesn't matter if it's queer or straight, I only ship stuff that I feel confident is endgame bc why would I put myself through scenes of something that doesn't feel right to me, merely bc I want to believe it and despite everything pointing against it??

Full serious, IF I was confident in milkvan endgame as a possibility, I would probably just convince myself to like them and provide evidence supporting it, bc I would honestly rather be right? Who tf wants to be wrong?

The problem was it didn't matter if I was initially convinced Mike and El were the pinnacle of romance (I was a child okay, give me a break...). Once I let go of that assumption because of all the doubts I had of them piling up, and took off my heteronormative goggles, I went woah... Holy shit. This show is actually fucking epic. Doubts gone. And the rest is history.

So, what happens if neither is endgame and Mike's killed off? I guess I would be confused, especially because the Duffer's specifically mentioned not being able to kill off Mike in a podcast last year. They gave their reasoning as to why, being that they take deaths on their show very seriously, needing 1+ seasons for them to show the characters mourning the loss. And so ending the show on that exact note, would be kind of a spoiler since they brought it up specifically? Therefore kind of redundant?

I guess, sue me for thinking the Duffers care about the show and put a lot of meaning into it. All of my analysis and theories are based on that assumption. No one's going to change how I think about that, so trust me, not worth getting worked up over it, anon.

If your evidence is all based on the assumption that the Duffers are not that good of writers, that almost everything on the show is coincidental and there's no deeper meaning beyond surface level, why are you even watching it in the first place? You do you I guess, but I just don't know why you wouldn't want to watch something that is more worth your time?

People being confident in their theories wont hurt you. If it bothers you so much, maybe find a way to be confident with your theories after looking at all the evidence from both sides. All sides. Any sides. If you still come up completely indifferent, then don't work yourself up by going on anon and making it other peoples' problem.

If it turns out everything meant nothing, and I was wrong about everything or most of what I interpreted, I will be okay! Because the show went from being about what I wanted to believe, to just what I genuinely believed.

Would I be disappointed? Sure. But lets hope I'm right bc in my scenario the show is epic and everything means something... not sure why anyone would root for the alt...

#byler #ask #queer-baiting is messed up #but I don't think anyone arguing against byler all condescendingly cares about queer-bait #antis are out here depending on queerbait to feel confident in their take on things #if you're just an honest person and have been through queer-bait and are trying to warn ppl who you view as yourself in a way #i sympathize with that #i get it #but there's seriously no reason to target people directly and complain about how their lack of doubt irritates you #like lets get a grip #this is a tv show #if this was a straight ship ya'll would not be out here getting so angry over this and talking all condescending #that's what it comes down to #if you're not homophobic #if you're not holding onto the idea of milkvan bc it's what you want to believe #if you are willing to actually look at all the evidence #instead of just speaking about it like it's an atrocity without actually giving it the time of day #then you'd be a lot closer to the truth about a lot of things on the show #unfortunately a lot of fans have to convince themselves nothing means anything to subscribe to milkvan endgame #and bc of that there's a lot of stuff that they missed #again #if there was enough evidence supporting milkvan #i would find a way to make it work in my brain and focus on the evidence #it's just unfortunate that a majority of their scenes works as the strongest evidence against them

[novelmonger]

Faramir x Éowyn, Fëanor x Nerdanel, Anakin x Padmé for the ship ask game?

(those are all canon couples, but I assume that's what you're mostly asking for?)

(Feel free to ask about any ships, but it's true that canon ones are most likely to be ones that I ship ^^')

Farawyn - Ship It

What made you ship it?

Then the heart of Eowyn changed, or else at last she understood it. And suddenly her winter passed, and the sun shone on her. 'I stand in Minas Anor, the Tower of the Sun,' she said; 'and behold! the Shadow has departed! I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren.' And again she looked at Faramir. 'No longer do I desire to be a queen,' she said. Then Faramir laughed merrily. 'That is well,' he said; 'for I am not a king.'

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

A love that heals. The way Eowyn turns from despair and her hopeless infatuation with Aragorn (or rather, the life that she might have with Aragorn), and instead of longing for glory and death in battle, she sees a future full of light and hope and growing things, a future where she settles down in a garden with a man who is not and never will be a king. The way Faramir looks on her, understands her, and is touched by her despair, rather than turning away from it.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Hmm...I don't think so? Farawyn seems to be a pretty popular ship, at least in my circles. Maybe my unpopular opinion is that I ship it, but I'm not feral about it XD

Fëanor x Nerdanel - I ship it,

but I have literally no thoughts about them, sorry ^^' Other than that Feanor is a jerk and Nerdanel deserves better (because just about everyone deserves better than Feanor). I ship it because it's canon (and obviously it must have been a functional marriage, see: seven sons), but I don't, like...have strong feelings about it. (Does that go against the definition of "shipping"?)

Anidala - Ship It

What made you ship it?

This is another case of me mostly shipping it just because it's canon ^^' While I find a lot of their interactions kind of cringey in the movies (more due to the writing than anything else), I've found that they can be very sweet and wholesome in fanfiction. So the moral of the story, I guess, is that these characters work really well together in the right hands, and I'm more or less excited about shipping them depending on who's in charge.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

What Baby Novie couldn't see, back when the prequel trilogy was first coming out and she was too busy gagging over just about every romance she came across, was that Anakin and Padme are actually very well suited to each other. Yes, they end up in a very problematic place, but that's exacerbated by Palpatine's influence. I guess we'll never know for sure what would have happened without that, but it would at least have given them more breathing room to actually work through their problems with communication, Anakin's fears of losing those important to him, etc.

All that's to say, when the Dark Side isn't mucking things up, they make a very good team, bringing very different insights and experiences to the table as well as a lot of compassion and support for each other. I think that's sweet.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

...I've been wracking my brains, and I honestly can't think of any. I don't have a whole lot of opinions on them to start with, and most of those are fairly generic.

#ask and you shall receive #marietheran #lord of the rings #lotr #faramir #eowyn #the silmarillion #feanor #nerdanel #star wars #anakin skywalker #padme amidala

[bohemian-nights]

I guess people don't read leaks and it shows cause the fall of KL isn't even happening so we won't see Daemon and Rhaenyra taking KL. According leaks, she's reaching him to Harrenhal in order to plot that, but their “reunion” is nothing that happy or romantic lol cause assuming leaks is true, they're ice cold when they see each others again, and in a scene Daemon wants to help Nyra on putting her armor on and she will have afraid of his touch, slapping his hand or jumping away from him lmao so assuming this is all true, after their falling out cause of Blood and Cheese, things will only get worse. So yeah, i think Daemyra will be finished as couple, in terms of marriage, but we will see them together eventually, but only as allies, till they take KL (so at this point should be at the beginning of S3), and Daemon flies again away from her finding comfort in the arms of other women. Netty or someone else, i have no idea, (bet he's banging Mysaria again) but this is where their relationship is leading. IT'S IN THE BOOK. Daemon is not a faithful husband, stop blaming writers saying they hate him, nah! It's your made up view who hate the original material. There's no happy ending or fairy tale romance and Daemon isn't the prince charming risking all for his queen. This is literally made up. I don't know...It seems those people think is watching Snowhite or Cinderella where the prince saves his beauty, the one for him, rather than Fire and Blood, a story of war between 2 incestous families. Rhaenyra isn't the one for Daemon. None is. He loves only one person, and that person is himself. Rhaenys nailed his description perfectly in S1, cause everything Daemon does is always to get his own benefit from it, even his own death! Man, was tired of whiny wife and he killed himself to not answer to the accusations of adultery. He knew how to get out of the scene epically though. Nothing to say on that, he's insane but iconic.

I agree with what you said about Dumbnyra. He’s not Miss Maegors Prince Charming. This isn't a romance. These fans are delusional. He’s her abuser (emotionally in the books and physically and emotionally in the show) and cheats on her, but I'm going to have to disagree about Daemon not loving anyone but himself(at least for the books; it's TBD for show him).

Daemon is a selfish, cold-hearted, self-serving individual, but there is someone he loves more than himself and that’s Nettles. I think that’s the real issue with this fandom(and actually what unites all sides).

You have people who lie(like Dumbnyra stans) and say that Daemon lived, breathed, and died for Missy Anne when the book(s) says otherwise. You also have people who admit that Daemon was a sh*tty husband, but then they try to double down and say he was sh*tty to everyone and just an all-around monster when that's also not true.

Both groups forget Nettles exists, they try to limit her importance to him, or they try to make her and Daemon's relationship creepy and compare it to his relationship with Miss Maegor when it’s supposed to be the opposite of that.

Nettles(and book Laena) do show that Daemon is capable of genuinely loving someone and putting them ahead of himself and his needs, it’s just that she’s not the person who they want to be his person.

Anyone I agree is complex and a fascinating character because he doesn’t do the things he’s supposed to. He’s one of the most interesting characters in the book.

#bnasks #bnask #daemon targaryen

[poppletonink]

Ellie Pillai Is Brown Review

★★★★★ - 5 stars

"'Won't you love me?' she cried out to the Man in the Yellow Mac."

Ellie Pillai is just a teenage girl, and as far as she can tell she's a bit weird - applying eyeliner properly is virtually impossible for her, and she doesn't understand how to be cool. Not to mention the fact she hears songs and sees dancing 60s girl groups inside her head - music is her escape from her everyday life, and from what she can tell, that's weird. But not only does she feel weird, most of the time she feels invisible, except from this year - the year she's going into Year 11. She can't tell if it's the new boy at school, Ash, who likes the same music as her and makes her smile like her face is literally going to explode into sunbeams. She can't tell if it's the new drama teacher, who finally sees her potential and makes her realise that she isn't as bad at drama as she thought. She can't tell if it's the lie she told her parents over a year ago, the one that is a ticking time bomb at the back of her mind with everything she does. But no matter what, maybe this year, Ellie Pillai won't be as invisible as she was before.

Ellie Pillai Is Brown is quite frankly my new favourite book. Everyone needs this book in their life - a coming of age story written like a rom-com with key themes of music and identity? What's not to like? This book explores identity (in numerous ways including, but not limited to, race and sexuality), and romance, and how we are all just people, amd even how life can be so wonderful even when everything falls apart.

Ellie is a character who I relate to in a way that I didn't even realize was possible. A girl who doesn't know how to be herself, and over the course of the book she realises how important it is to be just that - herself - and that weird isn't such a bad thing after all - "Weird is good. I like weird". I love how she escapes from the world through music, and I felt a sense of recognition with her love of The Beatles mirroring my own. The fact that she loves English, Drama and Music but hates Maths was most definitely relatable, and I laughed out loud when she said, "I hope that maths will never end, which is a feeling I’ve had exactly never in my life before". I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that Ellie is an amazing character: she's a witty, music loving, dramatic teenage girl trying to build up her confidence; she's actually an accurate depiction of a teenager, which is nice to see, even if rarely across the world of literature.

Putting a brilliant, but unconventional twist on the YA genre, Ellie Pillai is Brown has an album available on any streaming platform that links into the story. For me, within this album I found two new all time favourite songs: Give Me A Minute and Earphones (I also love No Fairytale and Young a lot but the other two really stuck out me, even upon my first listen to the album). But as a whole, the album can only be described as absolutely amazing, with songs that link to the storyline and have the amazing vocals of Christine Pillainayagam (who also happens to be the author of the book). Each song is meant to be played when it appears within the book, and the immersive experience that the reader has as a result is outstanding.

Did I originally pick up this book because I thought the cover was pretty and that the yellow background, pink metallic writing and the pretty doodles down the side were calling me from across the room of a local book shop? Yes. Did I fall in love with everything about this book slowly and all at once? Also, yes. Am I convinced that this book is mortifyingly underrated? Most definitely.

This book is everything I didn't know I needed to hear. It changed my life and it came to me at a time I didn't realise I needed it, when in reality it was the time I needed it the most. It made me laugh out loud, and cry, and smile. I couldn't put it down, and I can guarantee you will feel the same way.

#ellie pillai #ellie pillai is brown #i can't get enough of this book #books #book reccs #lgbt books #lgbtq #poc books #ya books #coming of age #coming of age books #book recommendations #book review #book blog #book community #book lover #bookaddict #bookblr #bookblogger #bookish #booklover #books and reading #bookworm #books and literature #romance books #booksbooksbooks #young adult #readblr #yellow book #Spotify

[concrete-beach-party]

BG3 playthrough: where we finally reach act 2

We did it! We reached act 2! I fell a bit behind writing my summaries, so this post is like ... 2 or 3 sessions at once. And I probably forgot important stuff, but who cares, this is mainly for myself.

To start: I knew that "the battle in Last Light Inn" would be the most important thing to happen in this game, but I didn't expect to get smacked in the face by it

Anyways, Isobel is fine (after a reload because we were absolutely unprepared for that).

Jaheira, could you please NOT try to spike my drink? Please.

His Majesty!! Hiss, I say, hiss. I did fuck up his interaction though, so no approval from Astarion :(

My butler visited me again, wanting me to kill ... riiiight, Isobel. How about NO, fucker. (Astarion approves of not killing her, for whatever reason)

Helped a tiefling child beat Raphal in fantasy chess - again, Astarion approves.

Astarion suddenly asked Raphael for help with his scars? Not sure what he's hoping for. If he needs someone who can read Infernal, why can't we just ask Karlach? Still trying to be supportive here though.

The weird ox is ... uh .. a lot like my Durge. That's interesting. His secret is safe with me, I guess? Astarion approves. Guy likes keeping secrets (as do I, I guess).

In another episode of camp drama, Lae'zel wanted to battle my partner's wizard because that's the official gith mating ritual. Yeah, wake me up in the middle of the fucking night, I'd try to fight you too, Lae'zel.

My partner just got themselves a cute gith girlfriend!!

Shadowheart was sad, but oddly supportive of their choice. Welp.

Speaking of "companions waking you in the middle of the fucking night to confess their feelings": Wyll suddenly came to me. I danced with him. Suddenly there's the option to kiss him, I turned my head away and OH MY GOD HE LOOKED SO SAD I'M SO SO SORRY WYLL

Literally like ":("

I will romance you in another playthrough, Wyll

Number of companions who shot me down: 2 (Astarion and Gale)

Number of companions I shot down: 2 (Gale and Wyll)

I guess we're even now?

a creepy tiefling child wanted to play, but I did not get approval from Astarion, but I should have?

Storywise not a lot happened

We did ambush the convoy, sorry Kar'niss (I think that's his name)

the pixie is an asshole and I should have reloaded because she's rude and Astarion disapproves of freeing her anyways

Rescue tieflings (again!!)

find Thaniel (because otherwise Halsin will not come with you)

at least Halsin now has his own tent ...

stumbled upon Arabella, who is now proficient in wild magic and looking for her parents

she's in camp now.

Shadowheart thinks she's so blessed by Shar!! Oh girl, you're in for a rude awakening.

Astarion doesn't want to talk a lot right now. I know that makes sense from a story perspective in act 2, but I hope he'll talk to me once I get his approval up a bit.

(Astarion, I shot down 2 guys for you, please talk to me)

He's got "siblings" though and he's kind of ... worried about them? He was hard to read in that scene, but I think it's some form of worry.

Harpers seemed to torture people, not nice. Still side-eyeing that spiked drink from Jaheira.

Tiefling Sorcerer (oder Wizard?) is very angry with me, because his two friends are missing. IIRC, your plan was to fuck off without the rest of the tieflings, do you really think that your friends wouldn't have been kidnapped if you went alone?

Who's this dude with the white raven? Why does he want to avenge random dead people? He doesn't seem very ... trustworthy.

Sharrans! Sharrans everywhere. And masonry, for some reason.

I intend to boost Astarion's approval today, let's hope it'll work. I heard drinking games are good for that.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #I play: Baldur's Gate 3 #dark urge

[lightlycareless]

hiiii !! Thank you for this weeks chapter !! It had me at the edge of my seat lol. I was closing the app, walking around my room and sitting back down to read some more😭😭

Also seeing yn act all flustered over Naoaki ?? 😭😭 she just like me Fr. I want him too girl 😫🙏 yn better than me bc I would’ve jumped on him and gotten killed off 😭😭

AND WHAT IS NAOAKI HDING FROM US??!! He lying??? He’s using yn??? What is going onnnnn 😭😭 Naoaki pleaseeee 😢😢 I

Also naoya ???!!!! I literally feared for my girl when he asked her to come to his room 😭😭 but he’s so evil. The way he was caressing her just to do a whole 180 😭 he’s SICKKK … 😢 I fear my love for naoya is just disappearing… I still love him tho.. . I just cannot find it in me to forgive his ass 😭

And the subtle hint to tojiii?!?!???? One thing about me is I’m a toji simp before I am anything else 😫 I love that man. And I love how jinichi wasn’t really trying to get yn in trouble or anything. She did not need that in the moment 😢😢

Anyways I hope your break goes well 💓💓 you deserve to rest . Thank you for writing such long chapters for us 😊😊 love them!!

-👾

Hello 👾 anon!!!!

Sorry for the late reply! I've been doing things here and there, mainly because I'm slowly starting to get busy with my work, but we here now!!

I'm so glad you liked the new chapter!!! And that it evoked that kind of reaction from you hahahahah I was sooo nervous, mainly because I thought everyone was expecting something different? But at the end of the day, it's important to stay with my original vision of the story and go from there :3

Awww writing a flustered Y/N was like a dream!!! I always liked that kind of trope when it comes to romance, because I guess some of us have been in that position that feel as if we gonna do something to mess the friendship up hahaha but I also like the other side of the spectrum—I wonder if we'll see it in this fic?

AND I DONT KNOW 😭😭 I DONT KNOW WHY JINICHI WAS COMFORTABLE TELLING Y/N THAT I mean, ah, he probably was having like a moment of weakness, you know? He saw his brother's room being noticed and he was like ok, maybe I'm not the only one that has forgotten about my brother (Even though Y/N doesn't know who Toji is lmao) she was probably the first person in a long time he's to spoken about Toji. EITHER WAY THERE IS SUCH A THING CALLED OVERSHARING and she certainly didn't need that right now.

But I gotta say, I like putting hints about Toji here and there hehe and I'm glad you liked them! I feel like you can't talk about the Zen'in without mentioning him (considering how the clan basically exists because he allowed it lmao)

Now onto the shock of the season: Naoaki. 🥺 I'm going to haunt him for the rest of his life if he decides to do something wrong towards Y/N, but there's no denying he's been doing so much for her 😭 why must he confuse us like this :'(

And finally... Naoya. I wanted to portray his delusions hahahah how distracted he can get when things are seemingly going his way, only to fall right back down to reality. He just does bad things over and over again, I'm finding it hard to like him too but omg I guess I'm holding on because he's handsome (AND I GOTTA SAY, NOT THE MOST HANDSOME ZEN'IN SO HE'S ON THIN ICE) but yeah, that was unnecessary cruel from him :( he likes to say that he cares about Y/N but then does that shit 🙄 no wonder she likes Naoaki more and more each day.

But we shall see what happens next chapter :3 I feel like I say this allot, but the next chapter is like hand down, one of the moments I've been wanting to write since the beginning of the story, and I hope to pull it off!! I can't wait for you to read it ❤ (and after that, a break!!)

Thank you so much for coming back dear 👾 anon, your feedback is certainly one that I'm looking forward to after each update 🥰I hope to continue getting your support for the rest of the story 🥺❤

Take care, have a wonderful week, and see you soon!!

#ask #ask series: first it hurts— #👾 anon

[starlightxsvt]

3 dates | c.sc

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.

Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.

The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.

Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.

You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.

You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"

"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.

"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.

Shit.

"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.

"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"

"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.

"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.

You really need some sleep.

"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."

"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.

You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.

-

"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.

"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.

"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."

"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.

"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."

"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."

"Shit."

-

"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.

Yet here you are.

"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?

"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.

"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.

Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.

You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.

You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.

Fuck.

"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"

Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.

"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.

-

It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.

Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.

Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.

He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.

With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."

So he can joke.

You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.

What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.

Why do you find everything about him so attractive?

"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.

"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.

"I swear to God if you call me that-"

"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.

"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.

This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"

There's no going back now.

"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."

I think I like you.

The biggest understatement of the year.

Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"

Oh my god.

You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.

"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"

He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.

Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.

You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.

Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.

"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"

You swallow.

"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.

When did you get so wreckless?

Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."

-

You don't show up after that.

Mostly because you are embarasssed.

It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.

Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.

That's just a stupid lie.

You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.

Him. Seungcheol.

What?

You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.

"Then why is he here!"

"I don't know!"

Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.

"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.

Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.

There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.

Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.

What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?

"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.

"I'm... processing."

"What are you, a robot?"

"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.

"Doing what?"

"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.

"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.

Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.

As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.

Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.

He probably fucks her.

You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.

"About you. You know..."

"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.

That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.

Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.

You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.

Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.

"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.

"Uh- sociology."

"Mmhmm."

You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.

There's no way he's-

"Why? What did you expect?"

"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."

Uh huh.

"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.

"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.

And then suddenly it clicks.

"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."

You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."

"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.

Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.

What a day to be alive.

You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."

Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.

-

It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.

I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.

That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.

-

You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.

You wonder what he has planned for today.

A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.

"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.

You wonder if he likes what he sees.

Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?

"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.

Stop it, pervert.

Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.

Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.

He's challenging you.

Oh well.

"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."

-

Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.

This is it, I guess.

Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.

Holy shit.

Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.

After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.

He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."

Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.

He's gonna fight.

"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."

You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?

Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.

As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.

His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.

The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.

He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.

Their life is really so different than yours.

-

Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."

"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"

"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.

"For a long time."

He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"

"What?"

"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."

He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?

It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.

This is a fucking mess.

"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.

The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.

"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.

It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.

I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.

After a while, his reply comes.

Keep it.

-

You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.

It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.

The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.

You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.

"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.

"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.

I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.

-

You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.

You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.

Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.

You're mesmerized.

Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.

If you weren't in love with him before you are now.

He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.

"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."

"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.

A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.

Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.

The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?

"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.

"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."

Last date.

"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.

"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.

Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.

Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.

After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.

This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.

Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."

You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.

"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.

"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.

There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.

You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.

Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.

Asshole.

You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.

"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.

"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?

"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.

Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."

"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"

"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.

Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.

Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.

Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.

Epilogue

A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.

Taglist: @koo-18 @shiningstar-byulxx @pcisonedhaos @happyvitamin @yoongischeeksluv @haluim17 @nayam14 @horanghae-gumanhae @cottonsthings @hotcheetosnorter99 @peekabooseoksoon @acapellaanna @amixoferrthang

#seventeen scoups #scoups imagines #scoups fluff #scoups smut #seventeen #seventeen fic #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen au #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt scenarios #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen seungcheol #kpop drabbles #kpop smut

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

#if you dont want to use the refs #im really cool with it #just enjoy yourself buddy #pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #prof.grey #pari #dotaku island #dotaku staff #PLEASE #just ask me if you dont know something #or feel i missed something in what i wrote