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#and half of these jokes are the same thing
sweetbans29 · 2 days
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Spoken For - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: You and Caitlin may be a little too discreet when it comes to your relationship - Based on THIS request
Warnings: hidden relationship, slight angst
Word Count: 3.7k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: GAH this is such a cute idea - I hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think in the comments.
You met Caitlin in middle school. Both of you played club basketball and were always at the same tournaments. Your teams faced off pretty often and you got to know how she played. It made it even more interesting when your coach had you guard her frequently - learning how she was almost unstoppable. The two of you talked here and there, mostly about basketball whenever you did see each other and were in a space where conversation was required.
It wasn't until eighth grade that things sort of took a turn. It was at a tournament that both of your teams had to travel to. When you got there, your team went to watch Caitlin's play - seeing how they were doing before you had to take them on yourselves.
While you were watching them - you noticed Caitlin looking over at you semi-frequently. At first, you thought nothing of it, but as she kept doing it you started to give her little nods. When the game ended and they were dismissed for a rest break, you saw her walk up in your direction.
"Hey CC," you say as you greet her.
She comes up and gives you a half hug - something that wasn’t super common for the two of you.
“You ready to go down?” She says with a little smirk and gets up in your space.
“In your dreams,” you say with a laugh and give her shoulder a little push. “I think the question is, can you put up with losing to me again?” You say as you stare her down - not willing to be the first to step down from a verbal smackdown.
The last time your two teams went up against each other it was absolute carnage. There were times when both of your coaches had to pull you from the game to not get ejected by the refs. Each of your coaches knows how competitive each of you is - knowing losing is not an option. But to you and Caitlin, it was genuinely all fun. It was rare to have someone be as competitive as the two of you and when you face off - it is one of the most captivating games to watch.
“The only reason your team won last time was because Coach pulled me in the last quarter so he wouldn't lose me for the rest of the tournament. You won't be as lucky this time," she says and you just shake your head with a little laugh. Both of your teams are now moving on to their next destinations. She begins to walk past you but doesn't leave without saying, "Plus, my dreams about you are much different." You question if you heard her right, you look up at her and start to feel the blush creep into your cheeks. She gives you a wink as she follows her team, leaving you there flustered.
The rest of that tournament is filled with stolen glances and a little too-aggressive plays. Nothing to get either of you tossed from the game but enough to keep the two of your bodies close enough to keep the electricity running through your veins. Playing against her this time was different. She never went easy on you but there was a different energy that both of you were aware of. It didn't help that you couldn't get what she said out of your head. Was she just messing around and making a joke or was there more behind what she said?
In your final game against her team, you noticed there was a bigger shift in your relationship with Caitlin. During the second quarter, you got fouled pretty bad by a girl on her team and you fell, getting the wind knocked out of you. It took you a second before you were able to get up - you waved off your coach and really anyone who was trying to help you up. You just needed a second to refill your lungs. Once you were back, Cait pushed her way through your team and was the one who insisted on helping you up once you were ready. She grabbed your hand to help you up and then patted you on the shoulder, making sure you were alright. You give her a nod and the game continues. Throughout the rest of the game, Caitlin would keep brushing your hand. At first, you didn't think much of it as it happens often when you are playing defense. But kept happening. And then it changed. After you have been on her defense and she just put up a three. The crowd cheered and you both headed back, you running to offense and her to defense when you feel it. Your hands touch briefly and when they do, her pinky hooks with yours - only for a second, but long enough to know that it happened.
The two of you started talking outside of seeing each other at tournaments. It began with texting about basketball or sending each other the occasional snap of each of you dying after practice, saying something along the lines of the other going down. Before you knew it, you two were texting or talking every day and some days even all day.
You found out that the two of you had a lot in common outside of basketball. Granted, a lot of the time you talked, it was about basketball.
It was a few weeks before summer that the two of you found out you would be going to the same high school, meaning you would be playing on the same team for the first time in either of your basketball careers. It was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.
During your high school years, you grow close to Caitlin. The two of you become best friends on the first day of freshman year. It wasn't surprising to you since you spent the better half of the last 6 months talking nonstop. When practices started, the two of you became inseparable. From then on, you did everything together.
It was the summer before sophomore year that you two decided being friends wasn't enough. It happened on a random Tuesday night when you brought up that one tournament that was the starting point of your friendship. Caitlin came clean and told you she had been crushing on you hard since the tournament where you both almost got ejected in the same game. It was a total surprise to you but you would be lying to say you weren't feeling the same way. Except for you, it was the tournament where your hands kept touching.
The two of you established your relationship before heading into sophomore year. You decided it would be best to keep your relationship just between the two of you, not wanting it to interfere with the two of you being on the same team.
It was junior year when both of you were signed to play D1 basketball. Caitlin at the University of Iowa and you at UConn. It was both an exciting time and a sad one. Your schools weren't close at all but you both knew you didn't want to separate when you left - you were it for one another.
It was the winter break of your senior year when the two of you went to the courthouse. Both of your parents were there, along with Caitlin's brothers. It was at Thanksgiving that you told both of your parents you wanted to get married. They tried talking the two of you out of it but neither of you budged. Neither you nor Caitlin had any doubts that this wasn't what you wanted. The two of you knew you wanted to to spend the rest of your lives together - even if that meant being a part for a few years to live out both of your dreams. Even at the courthouse, your parents were still hesitant but they let the two of you get married.
The summer after senior year of high school held some of the best days and hardest days you have ever had. Caitlin and you were finally able to take a mini honeymoon to the East Coast, spending your days on the beach. Shortly after, you were both called off to your respective schools - going back to being competitors on the court instead of teammates. The goodbye was one of the hardest things you have ever had to endure, Caitlin as well.
Before you left, you both decided to keep your marriage just between the two of you. Neither of you wanted/needed the backlash of it going into this next chapter and you both knew the other was there regardless of the distance between you.
Starting college was a pretty easy transition for both of you - the hardest part was being away from one another. You talked daily, usually calling at night or early in the morning. And every break you had was spent at home with one another. Every school break, long weekend, and break in practice had you two visiting one another.
It wasn't until a certain practice that Caitlin started to question if keeping you to herself was going to be possible for much longer.
"Hey Caitlin, I have this friend who has had an eye out for you since the season started." One of her teammates mentions while they are stretching before a practice.
Caitlin laughs and says, "Okay...and?"
"I want to set you guys up on a date. Are you free this Friday?" She asks. The other girls around them encourage Cait to get out there. She has been the only person on the team who hasn't taken any interest in relationships.
"I am not going," Caitlin says. No explanation, no reason. Just a no.
"Why not? It could be really fun! It would benefit you to loosen up a little bit," her teammate says.
Just as Caitlin is about to respond, they are called to start drills.
Practice goes well, and they are feeling good about their upcoming game. The girls make their way to the locker room and are all packing up when the topic is brought up again.
"So...Friday," Cait's teammate brings it back around to get her out of the house on a Friday night.
"What about it?" Cait says with a little laugh.
"Will you go?" She asks. "On the blind date?"
"I am not going on a date on Friday," Caitlin says again. She grabs her back and is ready to head home for the night to call you. She thinks you will find it quite entertaining that her team is trying to get her to go out.
"Well just think about it and we can revisit the topic tomorrow."
Caitlin states again that she is not going but instead of fighting her teammate on it now, she would rather be at home talking to you.
On her walk home, she calls you.
"Hey babe," you say when you answer your phone, wedging it between your shoulder and your ear. Your hands preoccupied with folding laundry.
"Hi," she says and takes a deep sigh. "I miss you."
"I miss you." You respond and take your phone in your hand again. You are sitting on the floor of your apartment with two piles of laundry taunting you. You sit back, leaning against your couch, and bring your knees up to your chest. "I miss you more than you can imagine. What is it another 3 weeks before we get to see each other?"
"Not soon enough," Caitlin says, chest squeezing a little tighter hearing how much you miss her.
The two of you knew this was going to be hard, but it was so much harder than either of you imagined. Going from being with each other every day of the week to every other month, if you're lucky, has taken a toll on your marriage.
"I have sort of a funny story to tell you," Cait continues, nervous all of the sudden.
"And what is that babe?" You ask, hearing a shift in her tone. You think it is the cutest when she gets nervous around you. She never gets nervous around anyone.
"My teammates are trying to set me up on a date this Friday," she says, not knowing how you are going to react. You are a little shocked but also find it kind of comical. Not that Caitlin wasn't dateable, you knew first hand she was. It was the fact that she never showed any sort of interest in anyone but you.
"Sounds like junior year of high school all over again." You say with a little laugh.
Caitlin's memory takes her back to junior year when the team kept bugging her about turning down Sam Anderson's prom proposal.
"I completely forgot about that! The team wouldn't drop it!" Caitlin says, a smile on her face as she laughs about the old memory.
"Well duh they wouldn't drop it, he was the hottest guy in our class," you say with a little laugh of your own.
"Hey!" She says offended that you just called someone other than her hot.
"Babe, you know I am yours," you say full-on laughing now.
"I can't believe you just called Sam Anderson hot. I will never forget that," Cait says.
"Ya, ya, ya. I am more interested in who they are trying to set you up with on Friday," you say. No jealousy, just pure interest.
"I have no idea," Caitlin says with a little puff. "I just wish people would stay out of my love life, it is doing just fine."
This causes a little sink in your heart. You know everything is fine between the two of you. But the adjustment has you both feeling like a piece of you is missing.
"I know babe, but it is a sweet thing. Your team wants to see you happy and part of that is being with someone." You say, knowing there is nothing you could do to make this any better.
"I am happy! I am happily married! I have all that I need and I don't need anyone digging into that." She says frustrated.
"Hey, Caitlin it's okay baby," you say trying to calm her. "You don't have to go - just tell them that you are busy."
"They are just going to keep pushing, it was brought up three times in 2 hours. They aren't just going to drop it." Caitlin fights back.
"Then tell them you are married!" You say. This wasn't part of the plan but hearing how frustrated Cait was, your firs thought was to screw the plan.
"No, that's not part of the plan. It hasn't even been a full year! We are sticking to the plan and that's final!" Caitlin yells. She doesn't know why she is yelling.
"Then go on the date!" You yell back. Frustration now seeing out of you. You feel a tear make its way down your cheek.
Caitlin doesn't know what to say - never in a million years would she imagine hearing you say to go out with someone. Nobody came close to you in her eyes. That is when she realized how much this was all taking a toll on you. Not just in this instance but when it happened in high school. Whenever someone made a comment about how amazing Caitlin is and how she is going to make so many heads turn. All the talk was always about her and never about you.
"Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so worked up," she says just above a whisper. Caitlin hates that she let this all get to her, so much so that it was her doing that had you sitting on your floor crying.
You sniffle and bring your hand to your head. You don't know what to say. You didn't mean it when you told her she should go on the date, it came out in frustration and you instantly regretted it.
"I know," you choke out. "Hey Cait, I need to go," you say still sniffling. "I need to finish some things before heading to bed."
"No wait, I don't want you to go in this state," she says in a little bit of a panic. "Just stay on the line with me and we can talk about something else - I don't want us to end today like this." It was a little last-ditch plea.
"I'm tired Cait, we can talk tomorrow. I love you," you say, tears streaming down your face.
Caitlin hates this.
"I love you," she says and hears you hang up.
You don't mean to be this curt with Caitlin. You have been under a lot of stress as of late between schoolwork and basketball and not having her with you kept you on constant edge. Talking to her every day has helped but you missed her presence, having her near. The calm that she brought you is one that you haven't felt since both of you went off to uni.
The next day rolls around and Caitlin's teammate texts her about setting her up. Caitlin ignores it and gets going with her day.
The two of you talk that morning - both apologizing for how the conversation the night before went. You both decide to take a quick weekend trip and meet in the middle for the weekend, knowing you both need time with each other, even it if is less than 48 hours.
Just knowing you are going to be in Caitlin's arms soon is enough to give you a push through the week.
Caitlin on the other hand is itching to see you. She begins to count down the hours until she is back with you.
When she arrives to practice, she jumps right in as if it will make time move faster.
During practice, the team takes a quick water break.
"Hey Caitlin, have you thought about Friday?" Her teammate asks. "I told them about you and they are looking forward to getting to know you."
"I told you I am not going," Caitlin says. Not this again. "Plus I am not going to be here this weekend."
"Okay well then Thursday would work," her teammate says clearly not dropping the topic.
"How many times do I have to tell you I am not going?" Caitlin says in disbelief that her team is pushing this so hard.
Another one of her teammates speaks up, "We just want to see you happy, you seem so tense all the time."
"Trust me, I am fine. I'll be better after this weekend," Caitlin says as she thinks about spending it with you.
"Just a few hours, it won't hurt anyone," they continue to pry.
Caitlin gets fed up with them all trying to force this on her when she has made it clear she is not going. Even if they got her to go on this date, she knew they wouldn't stop until she started seeing someone.
It is at this moment that the plan of you two waiting until after college to reveal your marriage flies out the window.
"I am not going on the date because I am not a cheater!" Caitlin practically yells and sits down. Everyone just looks at her with confusion.
Caitlin, with her face in her hands, brings something out from her shirt. It is the chain of her necklace. Everyone knew she wore a necklace but no one knew what was hanging at the end since it was always tucked away in her shirt. She finds the end and pulls out a ring. It is the ring you exchanged in the courtroom that one beautiful winter afternoon.
She takes out the ring and places it on her ring finger, which causes even more confused looks from all of those around her.
"I am not going on that date because I am married," she says and all the girls go crazy. All of them in unbelief of this plot twist their friend and teammate were holding from them.
They pull her up and start pushing her around in excitement that their friend is not only seeing someone but is MARRIED.
"This is actually insane!" One girl says. Caitlin hears things like 'There is no way', 'How has she kept it a secret for this long', and 'When were you married, we are so young'.
The one thing going through Caitlin's mind is how she is going to explain this to you. Her beloved plan - poof, gone just like that.
All the girls are too excited to get back to practice but somehow manage to get through it.
Before she knows it, Caitlin is on a plane heading to Colomub, OH. The two of you planned it so you would arrive within half an hour of each other. Her being the first to arrive.
When she lands, she checks the arrival board and begins to make her way to where your plan gets in. She walks up just as they open the door.
Your plane starts to de-board and you grab your overnight bag. As you make your way off the plane you look at your phone to see if there is any update from Caitlin. You have no notifications from her, just your coach about everyone's home workouts for the weekend.
As you get off the plane you begin to look around to see which way you need to go when you see your favorite person in the world, standing there, waiting for you.
You immediately run up to her and jump into her arms, dropping your bags in the process.
She squeezes you so tightly, that it is hard to breathe. Not that you care.
"Caitlin," you say as you inhale her scent. Missing her was an understatement.
"Hi baby," she says as she finally puts you down. You grab your bag and take her hand. When you look down at your fingers intertwined.
"Babe, you're wearing your ring!" You say in surprise.
"Well, I may or may not have told the team that I have a wife and have been married since high school..." she says hoping there would have been at least some time for them to just be together before she had to tell you that her plan is no longer the plan. She prepares for you to rip her a new one.
When you don't immediately react, she looks over at you.
You just squeeze her hand and lean into her.
"So much for your precious plan," you say with a little laugh as the two of you walk out of the airport.
AN: Thank you for this fun request! Let me know what you think! And as always, thanks for your love and support 🤍
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mariclerc · 3 days
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A project of love | ls2
Summary: where you have to do a project with your crush and you try not to fall for him.
Warning: none.
a/n: requested and dedicated by @bananaleclerc I hope you like it!! And yes, I need a break from posting so much 😂😂
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You're hunched over a textbook at a library table, surrounded by scattered notes and a half-eaten granola bar. Just then Logan enters the library, a whirlwind of energy and a backpack overflowing with what looks like every microbiology textbook ever written.
He slammed his books down next to you. “Hey there, study buddy! Ready to conquer the microscopic world?”
You jump a little, startled. He flashes a dazzling smile. “Uh, yeah, hi Logan. I was just... uh... reviewing.” You say, trying to sound casual.
“Awesome! Me too. Though, to be honest, my brain feels like it's about to explode from all these bacteria names.” He pulls out a chair dramatically and sits down. “Did you get a chance to look at the project outline Professor Davies sent? Apparently, we're germ-fighting partners!”
Your stomach flips. Internally screaming, you manage a smile. “Yeah, I saw it. Partnered up, huh? Makes sense, I guess.”
“Definitely! We balance each other out, right? You with your quiet genius vibe, and me... well, I bring the enthusiasm.”
You laugh nervously, a blush creeping up your cheeks.
“I wouldn't call myself a genius, but hopefully, I can keep up with your... enthusiasm.”
“Oh, you will, trust me. So, what do you think? Should we start with some foundational stuff, or dive straight into the exciting world of, like, antibiotic resistance?” he grins.
You take a deep breath, trying to focus. “Maybe foundational stuff first? That way, we're both on the same page when we get to the more complex topics.”
”Sounds like a plan! But hey, don't worry about keeping up. Like I said, I'm basically a walking microbiology encyclopedia. Just ask away if you get lost.”
You nod, but your mind is racing. Trying to focus on the project feels impossible now that you're so close to him.
You clear your throat. “Okay, so... cell walls of bacteria... what were we talking about those in lecture?”
Logan launches into an explanation, peppered with jokes and pop culture references. You try to concentrate, but all you can think about is the way his eyes light up when he talks about something he's passionate about.
Later, after a productive study session, you're packing your things.
“So, should we meet again tomorrow? Same time, same place?”
You feel your heart pounding. “Uh, yeah, sure. Sounds good.”
“Great! Hey, you seem a little quiet today. Everything alright?” he asks softly.
You force a smile. “Yeah, no, I'm just... tired, I guess... All this studying.”
“Studying can be draining! But hey, at least we're suffering together, right?” He winks at you. “See you tomorrow, germ fighter!”
He flashes another smile and throws you a peace sign before walking off. You sigh, a mix of frustration and a secret thrill bubbling in your chest. Studying with Logan might be the most nerve-wracking, yet strangely fun, experience of your university career so far.
You watch him disappear into the library crowd, a bittersweet pang in your chest.
You mutter to yourself. “Germ fighter, huh? More like heartbreaker.”
You gather your things, a sudden wave of determination washing over you. You like Logan, a lot. But you can't let that distract you from the project. You take a deep breath and head out of the library, a plan forming in your mind.
***
The next day, you arrive at the study table a few minutes early. You've spent the morning making flashcards – not just on microbiology, but also on Logan's interests you've gleaned from his conversation snippets. Genetics? Check. Obsession with the movie "The Andromeda Strain"? Double check.
He bursts in, a little late and slightly out of breath.
“Sorry I'm late! Professor Davies got us sidetracked talking about her research on bioluminescent bacteria. Apparently, there's a kind that glows neon green – can you believe it?” He says hurriedly, making you laugh a little, just then he notices the flashcards on the table. “Whoa, flashcards? You serious?”
You nod smiling, not as nervously as yesterday. “Just thought they might help us remember all this complex stuff. Besides, I found some fun facts related to the topics we need to cover. Maybe a little trivia can keep things interesting?”
His eyes wide at your words. “You got fun facts about bacteria? Okay, you officially win coolest study partner ever! Shoot, let's hear one.”
You pick up a flashcard and grin. Maybe studying with Logan won't be so bad after all. Maybe you can find a way to balance your academic focus with a sprinkle of something more.
***
The following week becomes a whirlwind of flashcards, late-night library sessions fueled by takeout, and a slow, simmering tension between you and Logan. Your knowledge of bacteria trivia becomes legendary, earning you surprised yet impressed glances from Logan. He, in turn, starts bringing coffee (with extra whipped cream for you, which you secretly adore) and peppering the study sessions with personal anecdotes, revealing a surprisingly deep and caring side beneath his bubbly exterior.
One rainy afternoon, hunched over a microscope analyzing bacterial cultures, Logan asks. “Hey, you ever wonder what those bioluminescent bacteria actually look like in real life?”
You glance up, surprised by the sudden seriousness in his voice. “Not really.” you admit, “but Professor Davies said she has some under a special microscope in her lab. Maybe we could ask if we could take a peek after our next class?”
He grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Perfect... We can make it a little research adventure.”
The stolen glance you share sparks a warmth in your chest, a silent acknowledgement that this is more than just a study session. The next day, after you convince a hesitant Professor Davies to let you glimpse the glowing bacteria, you find yourselves alone in the dimly lit lab.
As you peer through the microscope, Logan leans closer, his shoulder brushing yours. “Wow.” he whispers, “they're incredible.”
You hum in agreement, captivated by the tiny emerald lights dancing before your eyes. The silence stretches, charged with unspoken emotions. You can feel the heat radiating from him, his breath tickling your ear.
Suddenly, the lab door bursts open, revealing Professor Davies returning from her meeting. You and Logan jump apart, both cheeks flushing a deep red.
“Did you get to see them?” she asks cheerfully.
“Yes, Professor,” you stammer a little bit, “they're amazing!”
As the week progresses, the air between you crackles with a new awareness. You find yourself stealing glances at Logan as he talks, your heart skipping a beat when he laughs at one of your jokes.
During a particularly frustrating attempt at culturing E. coli, you blurt out, “Ugh, these bacteria are so stubborn!”
“Hey,” Logan says softly, placing a hand on yours, “we'll figure it out together... Like always.”
His touch sends a jolt through you, and you meet his gaze, your eyes locked in a silent conversation. In that moment, you both know this partnership has become something more, a budding connection waiting to bloom amidst the petri dishes and microscopes.
The shared look hangs heavy in the air, the frustration of the stubborn E. coli forgotten. Logan's hand lingers on yours, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. You can feel the warmth radiating from him, and a blush creeps up your neck.
“Maybe,” he starts, his voice a low rumble, “we should take a break from these little buggers. Grab some coffee, clear our heads?”
You nod mutely, your heart pounding a frantic rhythm against your ribs. Stepping out of the lab, the rain has stopped, leaving the air fresh and clean. As you walk side-by-side, a comfortable silence settles between you. You steal a glance at Logan, his profile sharp against the setting sun.
Reaching the familiar coffee shop you frequent, you order your usual, Logan opting for his favorite with extra whipped cream (a detail that makes your stomach flutter with a strange mix of amusement and affection). Settling into a quiet corner booth, you both sip your drinks, the tension still simmering beneath the surface.
“Thanks for sticking with this project,” Logan says, his gaze fixed on you. “It wouldn't have been nearly as fun without you.”
A shy smile graces your lips. “It wouldn't have been so bad with you either.”
He leans closer, his eyes searching yours. The air crackles with unspoken desire. In a voice barely above a whisper, he asks, “Can I do something?”
Your breath catches in your throat. You nod hesitantly, a shiver running down your spine. He closes the distance between you, his hand cupping your cheek. His touch is soft, sending a jolt of electricity through you.
The kiss is tentative at first, a brush of lips that sends a wave of heat through your body. But then, something shifts. He deepens the kiss, his hand moving to cradle your head, tilting it for better access. You melt into him, the taste of coffee and something uniquely Logan swirling on your tongue.
The kiss is brief, broken by a gasp for air. He leans his forehead against yours, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath. Your eyes flutter open to meet his, a goofy grin plastered across his face.
“Wow,” he breathes, a mixture of awe and amusement in his voice.
You can only manage a shaky smile, your heart overflowing with a mix of exhilaration and nervousness. The world seems to tilt on its axis, and for a moment, only you and Logan exist in this small corner of the coffee shop.
As you pull back and smile, a newfound confidence sparks within you... Maybe this partnership, born amidst bacteria and microscopes, could blossom into something more. And you, for one, are eager to see where it leads.
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nightgoodomens · 19 hours
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When you think about Michael “joking” about not being straight for years, yet nobody believing him or asking any follow up questions, it’s the exact same playbook they’re using now with all the ‘husband of my partner’, family outing pics, neighbors “jokes”:
I’ll tell you who I am, half jokingly, if you think it’s a bad thing you won’t believe me at all, and will take it as confirmation that I’m not since I’m “joking” about it. Some more open minded people might take it seriously, swell, and if there’s ever a big scandal that I am I can point out that I’ve been telling everyone for years and years.
Which kinda makes me think that Michael will probably never delete his twitter account, he’ll want to have his receipts at the ready and viewable by everyone. 😁
Yep.
Michael hasn’t lied about David since the beginning - he said he’s very easy to fall in love with so he just stares at him lovingly, he said he loves him, he said he is his partner.
And then since end of last year - they said they’re boyfriends, husbands. They showed up together at events, went to each other’s shows. They said they’re now living close to each other. They keep on bringing each other up during interviews or someone brings one up to the other. They support and love each other.
Neil said David and Michael are in love.
It’s all there. It’s not their fault that people chose to believe it’s a joke 🤷‍♀️
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aurumacadicus · 1 day
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159 or 139 for the ficlet please!
(Also, do these numbers correspond or a prompt or are we just winging it here, curious minds would like to know how this lottery is working 🧐)
These numbers correspond to a prompt set which I can post a link to after this is done but I wanted the randomness of it. No offense but you guys always go for the same prompts (which don't get me wrong, make sense for the characters/my writing) but I wanted to stretch some writing muscles!!!! So I anonymized the list :3c
--
Steve groaned when he realized he couldn't ignore the constant pinging of his phone anymore. It had well and truly rung through his half-dozing state. He pushed himself up, popping each vertebrae as he attempted to blink the sleep out of his eyes, then yawned, loud, and scrubbed at his eyes.
He took a glance around his room, then squinted in confusion when he saw his lamp had been knocked off the bedside table, there was a... sock? On the ceiling fan? And the ceiling fan was askew, the edges of the blades scraping the paint off on one side and nearly low enough to clip his hair on the other. He stared at it, mouth hanging open in confusion, especially as it finally registered that it was not a sock hanging from the fan, but a ripped pair of tights.
Steve grabbed his phone, still staring at the tights, as he wondered how, exactly, they'd been ripped right down the middle of the crotch and where, exactly, the other half was. He found it as he rolled onto his back to check his phone, one end tied to the foot board of his bed, the other tied around his ankle. He blinked slowly, then thumbed his phone open, peering at the notifications.
[Bucky] If you don't respond, I'm calling the cops
Steve blinked again, then sent a simple 'responding' and scrolled up to see what was going on. He came to the conclusion that he'd disappeared halfway through a party. Bucky and Natasha's engagement party, maybe? They were celebrating something, he remembered. The first messages has been teasing, calling him a curmudgeonly old man, then jokes about him getting lucky, then concern as he'd never replied to any of them. He flipped back to Bucky's messages.
[Me] Yo what happened My lamp's broken? And my ceiling fan? I'm tied to the bed kinda.
He looked around again just for good measure, then did a double-take at his sheets. He snapped a picture and sent it along as well.
[Me] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.
Bucky's response came only a few seconds later.
[Bucky] Oh my god the stripper??????????????! I wondered what happened to him!!!!!!
"The stripper?" Steve asked, squinting at the screen in confusion.
The door to his bathroom opened, and a man stepped out, naked as the day he was born. He was beautifully damp. He had a towel wrapped around his hair. Steve understood, suddenly, why half a pair of tights were on the ceiling fan. He immediately wanted to fuck this man so athletically that the other half snapped off his leg and flew onto the ceiling fan too.
"I ordered breakfast," the man said casually, pulling a duffel bag from... somewhere. "It should be here in about fifteen minutes. I'm Tony, by the way," he added, picking a pair of briefs out of the bag.
"You don't have to put those on, Tony," Steve offered, instead of doing the polite thing of offering his name back, or asking if he wanted anything else.
Tony let out a bark of laughter. "Just as charming as last night," he teased, shaking his head.
God, Steve hoped he'd been charming last night. "So... were we introduced last night?" he asked carefully. "And you thought I forgot your name?"
"I was introduced as Bambi last night," Tony said, offering him a smirk. "And you waxed poetic about my big brown eyes until I basically had no choice but to fall into bed with you."
"Bambi," Steve repeated, and then, louder, "Ooooh, Bambi." Suddenly he remembered exactly what had happened last night, up to and including how his room had gotten messed up, and it had started with Tony finally asking, 'Does that make you Faline? Or are you more of a Ronno?' and Steve just picking him up and carrying him toward the door as Tony giggled in his arms.
Well. Food was coming. He'd have time to convince Tony he was more than just a fan of brown eyes. Tony had a cheeky smile. He found those always seemed to get him into trouble in the best way.
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I remembered the song All Dolled Up by theOrionExperience and realised that it's SO Holydust besties coded!! A fun night out to forget their troubles for a few hours and just enjoy each other's company.
You can take this as a writing prompt if you feel like writing about it <33
Indigo (platonic holydust advocate)
As a fellow platonic holydust advocate I'm in! And somehow I made it about Adamsapple angst lol It's my superpower apparently.
Feel free to send more prompts/asks!
"Hey, you wanna go out and get fucked up tonight?" Angel asked Adam as he stood in the sinners doorway.
Oh boy did Adam need some fun. "Fuck yeah, ready when you are."
"Great, let's go." Adam followed Angel out and down to the lobby. He didn't miss the side eye that Angel gave Husk. "We're going out, later."
"Where are you going?" Lucifer asked from his spot on the couch.
Adam rolled his eyes. "Out. Later." He stomped out the front door. "Everything okay with you and whiskers?"
Angel snorted, "I could ask you the same thing about his majesty."
Adam looked away scowling. "Fair enough."
"I'm too sober for this shit, let's get plastered."
Adam and Angel went to a popular club in Hell, where they did shots and drank so much their blood was more alcohol than ichor by midnight.
"Can you believe he said that he wanted to slow shit down? Like shit baby if we go any slower we'll turn into fucking snails! We haven't even fucked yet." Angel drunkenly ranted as he downed another shot.
Adam hummed, taking his own. "At least you don't have everyone making fucking jabs at you about being the King's fucking boy toy. Saying that you're just a royal cock sleeve til his cunt wife comes home."
Angel frowned. "Okay you win. That sounds fucking awful. Who the fuck said that? I'll fuck them up for you!"
Adam laughed. "It's mostly that Bambi motherfucker but he doesn't know shit! What Luci and I have is real!...... I hope." He looked down sadly at the table they were drinking at. Adam felt his lip quiver.
"You really love him, don't you?"
"Of course I do! I always have, I don't really believe in all that soulmate bullshit but if I did, I'm pretty sure he'd be mine...... Why else would it hurt this bad? All I ever wanted was for him to love me." Get a few drinks into Adam and he becomes super honest. "I never forgot him. How could I? I tried so fucking hard to hate him Angel, but I can't, not really."
"Well, if he can't wake up and smell the fucking coffee and see how great you are then it's his loss bud. Someone will see it." Angel tried, it was hard to be comforting while half snapped. Sure, him and Husk had issues but they were any sized compared to Adam and Lucifer's drama. Dating a King comes with King sized drama, who knew. "I thought you guys were dating."
"Who fucking knows. Fucker sends so many mixed signals."
"Let's forget about all this shit for now and just have a good time, yeah? We need it." Angel said handing him another shot.
Adam downed it in one go. "Fuck yeah."
By the time they got home to the hotel, it was only Lucifer and Husk still waiting up in the lobby for their boyfriends. Adam and Angel burst through the door laughing and joking.
Adam plopped down on the couch next to Lucifer and Angel was taken to bed by Husk who wished he had breath mints for his baby.
Adam looked at the king. "Heyyyyy.~" He leaned over and poked Lucifer on the cheek. "How you doing?"
"You're fucking drunk as hell."
"Nah uh, you're drunk and short." Adam burst into a fit of laughter at his own joke and Lucifer rolled his eyes playfully.
"Yup, very drunk. Can you even walk?" Lucifer asked as he moved to stand in front of Adam.
Adam picked up his leg and looked down at his foot. He gasped loudly. "Oh my god! I have no toes!" Lucifer had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Apparently drunk Adam forgot he had hooves.
"Those have been there the whole time, Adam."
"And you weren't gonna fucking tell me? Rude." Adam pouted and crossed his arms. He whined when Lucifer picked him up bridal style and held him close. "Hey!"
"Shhh, let's get you to bed." Lucifer thought about placing Adam in his own room, but decided to take him to his instead. Really, he was there so much they might as well just share the damn room.
Adam had taken to playing with Lucifer's bow tie and looking intently at the king. He felt his heart flutter, he loved Luci so much. He wrapped his arms more securely around Lucifer's neck and placed a kiss on his cheek before nuzzling his face into the king's neck breathing in his smell. Brimstone and something more earthy Adam couldn't place.
This surprised Lucifer, Adam wasn't one for gushy feelings or showing of affection. But he'll take what he can get.
Lucifer sat Adam down on the bed and helped him under the covers. Once he was settled, Lucifer got in on the other side. He watched Adam lay there, looking all around until his eyes landed on Lucifer. "Why don't you love me?"
Lucifers eyes went wide. "What are you talking about? I do love you."
Adam sniffed and looked away sadly. "That's not what I hear..."
Lucifer would really rather have this conversation with a sober Adam. "Look, I don't know what people are saying but listen to me when I say this. I love you, Adam. You mean the fucking world to me." He placed his hand on Adams cheek.
"Yeah?" Adam gave him a teary smile.
"Yes." Lucifer kissed him sweetly, he tasted like tequila. "Get some sleep, dove." Adam held out his arms and Lucifer chuckled. Drunk Adam was also very clingy. "Come here, you."
Adam snuggled against Lucifer's chest and sighed happily, he was even happier when he felt a hand in his hair messaging it gently.
Lucifer would have to be sure to show Adam how much he means to him. When he was sober of course.
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diosapate · 9 hours
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Mercymorn? Or Augustine?
already answered augustine so for my beautiful princess with a disorder ->
favorite thing about them: like my opinion on augustine i just love the intense double-layering of the lyctors where she's a deeply funny hot mess on first glance but once you dig into her as a character she's one of the most horrifically sad women in the series. she's so deeply tortured and not having a good time and she is going to make sure EVERYONE knows
least favorite thing about them: morally i must disagree with her perpetuating the cycle of abuse onto harrow but it is one of the most interesting parts of her as a character imo
favorite line: too fucking many. something about "my presence ought to have the same effect as a fire alarm" really tickles me though
brOTP: this woman does not have friends but i'd like to imagine she had at least a nominally okay relationship with cytherea
OTP: i've talked about the appeal of mercy and augustine at length on this blog but they really do scratch something in my brain. because even removing toxic evil divorce jokes from the table there's still something so haunting about how inextricable they are and have been in two entire lifetimes
nOTP: i don't really have one? i don't see mercy/harrow at all but i can respect the grind
random headcanon: incredibly random but in contrast to augustine's canonically cozy and incredibly lavish personal quarters on the mithraeum i think mercy's rooms are incredibly spartan. nun style. she barely owns a bed frame.
unpopular opinion: i don't think being an annoying bitch + nag is her factory settings and she was in fact shaped that way by how she's been treated for 10000+ years and also her failed catholic situationship send post
song i associate with them: get out of my house >:)
favorite picture of them: this art by lulafia has lived rent free in my head for a year and a half now <3
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I need to get it out of my chest so here's some Striker theories/speculations fandom has come up with that I heavily dislike and why.
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Striker has some royalty blood from one parent or both.
Oh God that would suck so much if it became canon cause it absolutely defeats the purpose of his character so far, that of being a lower class imp hating royals with valid reasons even if his actions are violent and sadistic.
As he is he has such an interesting antagonistic role in the story and offers a bunch of good lines directly opposing and questioning the heroes values, choices and morality.
His mere presence and open bashing of the upper class is just good social commentary! If his hatred stems from a combination of his narcissistic nature and bitterness that being born an imp (even mixed or hybrid) robs him from ascending further into the social ladder or even if he survived a traumatic encounter with a royal as its implied and it's fuelled by anger or a combo of all those things all are good for telling a compelling story! All can be done in very interesting ways!
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But making him yet another character tied closer to royalty than just being a random person that got screwed over is honestly an underwhelming concept.
Getting screwed over for no good or justified reason should be common with Hell's racist and classist system as its been presented so far and we should get confirmation of that instead of having Striker added to the trend of each of the main characters having special connections with higher ups. It's not only redundant at this point but would make his motivation and social commentary that much weaker.
I swear if it just becomes another daddy or mommy issue imma rage quit so fast!
Striker is half shark demon
His sound design is explicitly constantly emulating the noises a rattlesnake makes. Since he's most likely a hybrid and he says to Blitzo how they are "superior to most of our kind" he's definitely part imp. So we got two halves and we got snake demon and imp, so it's basically covered? lol I don't know how this theory became so popular😅
He doesn't even look close to the design of the other sharks
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he only looks like Chaz a little bit.
And lots of characters share similar characteristics like that snout.
This one had some merit with the ringed eyes and imma be real I haven't noticed those elsewhere but like even if he had a grandpa shark what purpose would that serve?
Bah I just don't like it. Let the man be a slimy snake! Its more unique and it suits him better!
Striker is asexual cause he got grossed out by sex jokes
No...just no..
To be clear you could totally read him as asexual! But the reason being the damn sex jokes is giving me whiplash. Striker got flustered and frustrated at best cause the timing of each sex joke was inappropriate as all hell and cause everyone did it as he tried to be intimidating and threaten/kill them. If anything they were bruises to his ego not any indication to his libido.
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But like... In all seriousness asexual confirmation deserves more than a reaction to sex jokes.
Hellaverse does it better with Alastor. In his case it does tie in with his sexuality.
Same goes with all the theories that he's homophobic too.
He did the sexy villain thing trying to seduce Blitzo like so explicitly and smiled when Blitzo called it hot then! What are you talking about?
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Different situation, more receptive to sexual undertones and instigating them too. That's what I'm trying to say!
And again. Asexual reading can apply. But it can't be just the sex jokes alright?!😭
(yeah yeah it's a joke on itself. still valid I get it.)
Striker is related to Crimson and Moxxie.
Oh this one is the worst one and absolutely gives me a heart attack and thank goodness for the crew's soft confirmation that they aren't via strixxie fanart cause no joke I'd cry since its my favourite ship!
It's just similar horns!!! Striker was designed as a mix between Moxxie and Blitzo and that's the only reason why!
Striker also had sexual tension with Blitzo on screen are you gonna tell me they are related too cause he was designed with half of him in mind?
I hate this theory so much.
Granted purely for shipping reasons but holy shit it got popular and I hated that!
I've had enough with turning every ship into potential incest just cause and harassing fans over it!
Got such "Fizz and Blitzo are siblings" deja vu😬
Ahem...
Anyways yeah that's all.
To end it more positively I love the snake man! Didn't spot him on the trailer but still hope we see him in the upcoming episodes🥺
Preferably doing shit like this and traumatizing everyone lmao! (with no godawful statue jokes in sight thank you very much)
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strangermask · 3 days
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Aight, never thought I would be making a post about the #savemyboycole thing but here I am
Listen
With all due respect
Cole is heavily queer coded, and most people in the fandom interprets Cole being queer. Whether he’s gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, aromatic: it all depends on how you see it (the great thing about headcanons)
Was it ever stated he was gay in canon? No
Was it ever stated he was straight in canon? Not really.
Now you might say: “But the season three love triangle!” Literally it was confirmed by the writer that Cole wasn’t attracted to Nya during that. (If anyone is able to find the link to that post, please share)
Also: may I remind you that people can realize they aren’t straight after dating or even marrying a person the opposite gender. Hell, people can even know they aren’t straight and still present as one if they aren’t out yet. My brother is an example of the latter.
Now again, I don’t wish to be disrespectful because this is fan media and we all interpret things differently. I know we all don’t see the characters same. If you think Cole is straight, that is your interpretation and I can’t change it. But throwing a fit like this and trying to shove “make Cole straight” propaganda is not going to end well on your part. Especially in a fandom filled with mostly queer people
Another problem: contacting the new writers to make Cole straight? What happens if they don’t answer. Are you going to harass the writers to adjust to your likings? Like how the Voltron fandom did with Klance and ruining the ship for half the people? Like how the bmha fandom constantly harassed and sent death threats to the team to make certain ships canon? I don’t want to bring these up, but these things that have happened is exactly why we shouldn’t contact show writers to fix something we don’t like. Even if these events centered around ships, they were ruined for people. This could lead to Cole being ruined as a favorite character (and I hope it doesn’t come to that point)
All I ask, is that to please think critically about your actions and how it can affect everyone. This is not the way to go. Right now, we are only making jokes. But if it escalates beyond that, expect a much worse backlash
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cmacavoy · 1 year
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the boston bruins as out of context puppet history moments
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how many sending stones is Caleb carrying around in his pocket instead of just learning how to cast Sending at any point in the past seven years?
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ganondoodle · 9 months
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you know the video of a black cat doing stuff it shouldnt and someone going "-gasp- dont do thaaaat!" ?
thats how i felt watching zelda bare-handed, zero hesitation, pick up the magick gummy that just fell from a disembodied, ominously glowing hand attached to a shriveled corpse in the castle basement visibly spewing poison in totks canon intro
like girl, no!! dont do that!
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ducktracy · 6 days
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reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)
if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop
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#i've made this disclaimer on another post but will again since i've seen a lot more of the movies now#the movies are VERY good and very enjoyable but unfortunately the first handful are bogged down by transphobic/homophobic/okama stereotypes#they kind of vary in their severity. Movie 5 i think is the biggest catalyst because it features the stereotyped characters the most#prominently. Movie 3 doesnt really have caricatures per se but saves a very backhanded reveal for the end#Movies 1 and 4 are a bit more tolerable if my memory is correct. Movie 2 i think is kind of comparable to Movie 5 with its caricatures#in that the characters have similar roles in both movies#i admittedly can't remember what caricatures there were in Movie 6 or 7. 7 i think barely had anything#RAMBLE RAMBLE BASICALLY: these jokes are within the first 7 movies or so 5 being the zenith then reducing down and down. by movie 8 it's sa#e#i give these disclaimers because these movies are all very enjoyable and i would not recommend them if i didnt think there wasnt any merit#o them. they are all very much worth watching. Movie 5 still has a lot of very enjoyable stuff in it (there's a showdown in a supermarket!!#but i just want to make sure that is clear and established since transparency is good to have and i dont want anyone's viewing experience t#be ruined because they weren't given the proper warning#if it's any consolation it's my understanding that even the directors hated doing the jokes#iirc Keiichi Hara really didn't like doing the jokes and i think had a talk with the mangaka Yoshito Usui and was like 'uh dude this is#gonna age horribly can we maybe not'#ironically Hara's first film is Movie 5. which is again the biggest offender#BUT! that is my spiel. my understanding is that it's contained to those 6 or 7 first movies and i think is strictly just a movie thing#so please do give these films a watch but just be mindful at the same time#if anyone needs recommendations my favorites have been movies 4 and 9 but i genuinely really enjoyed every one that i have seen#i've seen the first 11 and a half movies (need to finish 12) and movie 22. the worst i've felt about one is 'oh that was pretty good!'#each film has its own merit and is very very very much worth watching#22 was the first Shin-chan anything i watched and all my Shin-chan expert friends say 4 is a good introductory piece#in case that influences anything/makes it easier to break in#so. thus concludes my spiel#csc#vid
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jade-len · 3 months
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luo binghe better than me fr i think i would've gone fucking apeshit if the person i loved with my entire soul pretty much said "fuck you" because of my race and pushed me down into literal hell for me to suffer for years
i've said it before and i'll say it again, i really don't think we give binghe enough credit. that man was on concerning levels of forgiving all the way from the start
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interstate35south · 5 days
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i love when people draw all the mxtx protagonists together but i’ll be real the generic anime boy face curse is alive and well
more often than not the art itself is fantastic it just takes me like a solid minute to figure out who’s who. bonus points if lbh is robbed of his wavy hair and the only way i can tell him apart from wwx is his forehead
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LONG TIME NO MILGRAMPOSTING so how we feeling abt backdraft boys….
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