Tumgik
#and i dont think i will continue reading it
i-cant-sing · 9 hours
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Time Traveller AU pt 6
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Time Traveller AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Its been a week since Baldwin finally came clean about the kiss with Charlotte, a week since you cleared of him "cheating on you", not that you cared if he did, and a week since you realised Guy tried and failed miserably to sabotage Baldwin through Charlotte.
Its also been a week over the due date you were supposed to return to Egypt to get your tools from Abbas, but its been hard to leave when Baldwin insists on spending time with you 24/7 because wants to make up to you for "suspecting his devotion to you".
He draped himself over your shoulders, caging you in his arms as he pecks your temple. "I'm sorry for making you doubt my love for you, princess. No, no- clearly, I'm the one at fault! Let me make it upto you~" Ugh, sometimes him being such a green flag is making it seem like a red flag. But you cant argue because... well, if you dont let Baldwin shower you in affection, then he might stop chanting "its my fault, princess" and change the narrative into "its your fault, princess and you need to be punished for doubting me- the KING, for slapping me- the KING, for thinking yourself so highly that you think i cant have all the women i want, me- the KING! To the dungeons you go, darling!"
Anyways, you both were now sitting down in the royal gardens, Baldwin's head laid in your lap as you worked your fingers through his luscious locks, absentmindedly braiding his hair while he made you tell some stories.
"And so, she found out her husband was cheating on her because she found out a jar of strawb- a jar of lard in her house." You looked down at his face, finding him already staring up at you, eyes full of awe. "And she doesnt eat lard. She hates it, so she never allowed it in the house."
Baldwin let out a small gasp. "And then what did this- Sharkerilla lady do?"
"Shakarina left Pickle. Divorced him." You told him, adding in small daisies in his hair. His face displayed pity. "Wow. And how do you know these people?"
You paused for a second. You cant explain to him how Shakira and Pique were celebrities and the concept of drama channels on youtube.
"We were neighbours." You hummed, patting his head. "There, I did your hair. Now I'm going-"
"No. Come on, we havent spent enough time." He whined, blue eyes looking at you pleadingly.
You scoff. "Baldwin, we've spent the entire day together. We ate breakfast and lunch together, we read books in the library, we looked at tiaras and crowns for the wedding, we even played chess." He lifted his head up from your lap and rested it on his palm as he leaned on his shoulder.
"And you lost all 5 games." Baldwin grinned, making you smack his forehead gently.
"I need to go-"
"Why?"
"Because I need to make arrangements for my trip to Egypt." You explained as Baldwin groaned, plopping his head face-first into your lap. "No." He mumbled against your dress.
"No?"
"No." He raised his head, pouting at you. "You're not going to Egypt. I miss you too much."
You gave him a lazy smile. "I'll be back soon."
"Not soon enough." He argued. "I have to go find my family, Baldwin." You continued on with your lie, raising a hand to caress his cheek. He sighed and leaned into your touch. "I can send the knights to find them." "They wont be able to. Only I will. Besides, I need to know what theyre like, if its even best to let them back into my life again, hm?"
He pondered over for a moment. "Then I will come along?" "What? Why?" He gave you a charming smile. "Because I dont want to part from you. Not for weeks, not for days, not even for-" He leaned up close to your face, eyes darting from your eyes to your lips back to your eyes. "-a minute."
Your face flushed and you looked to your side, using your hand to push his face away, making him chuckle as he grabbed the same hand and pressed a kiss to it. "You're so adorable, my little prude."
You shot him a glare. "I- I'm not a prude. But at least one of us should have a little shame."
He gave a chuckle, poking your still flushed cheek. "Shame? Whatever for? I love you." His eyes lit up in amusement as your head whipped towards him. Baldwin raised a brow at you. Its not the first time he's confessed, but... it still catches you offguard everytime.
"Did you hear me? I love you." He repeated, eyes still twinkling at how you continued to become flustered.
You opened your mouth and then closed it like an idiot, not knowing how to reply.
"Thank you." You finally said, looking anywhere but at him. He burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh god- I tell you- I love you and you say "thank you"? You really are something out of this world!" Baldwin teased you, making you huff.
"Lets not get off topic, Baldwin. You cant come with me to Egypt because you cant abandon Jerusalem. If your throne is empty, Guy- though he doesnt have the brain for it, or Salauddin or someone else will attempt to take your throne from you! You have a responsibility to your people! Keep them safe." You reminded him.
Baldwin stared at you before sighing, leaning back and resting his head on his arms. "You're always so smart, aren't you?" He smiled with his eyes closed. "I suppose it is a good thing that you care so much for your future subjects."
-
Next day, you were all set to leave for Egypt again. Baldwin and you stood at the gates of the castle as the kingdom all gathered around to bid you safe travels. You were ignoring Baldwin's stupid lovey dovey eyes boring holes into you, because there are people here and you dont want this blue orbed man to embarrass you.
But alas, he took your hand in his, making you look at him. He flashed you his dimples, bringing up your hand to press a kiss to it, the crowd cooing while you blushed (though it could be mistaken for anger with how hard you were frowning).
Tearing his eyes away from you, he addressed his people. "O people of Jerusalem! Your princess is going on an important journey. I ask you all to pray for her safety and well being!" The crowd looked on you two with awe, or more at Baldwin for being such a doting husband-to-be.
"While I know that your hearts must ache to see your princess depart from us for some time, I bring you good news to keep your hearts at peace as well." You looked at Baldwin in confusion. Good news? What is he talking about?
Baldwin smiled at you, the sunlight hitting his face at angle that made him look majestic.
"In 3 weeks time, the princess and I will marry!" Your eyes widened as the crowd erupted in cheer.
Baldwin hugged you close, and you whispered. "Three weeks? But I'll be gone for at least two! I wont have enough time to make-"
"Dont worry about a thing, princess. Sibylla and I will make all the arrangements necessary and trust me, it'll be a wedding for generations to remember." He pulled back, grinning at you as he pecked your forehead. "You just focus on returning safely, okay?"
Sibylla, Guy and their son were also there to bid you farewell. Sibylla pulled you in for a tight hug, promising to give you a grand wedding and that she'll keep your prefrences in mind. Their son ran off and Sibylla went to chase after him, leaving you alone with Guy.
"Bye." Guy gruffly said while you smiled tightly at him. "I know what you did, you buffoon." He looked at you slighted. "What the hell are you-"
"Charlotte? The letters? Yeah, we'll talk when I return. And you better not cause anymore trouble for me or else-" You turned to look at Baldwin, waving sweetly at him. Guy gulped, taking in your threat.
-
As usual, your first stop was at Salauddin's camp. You would go without stopping here, the knights Baldwin sent with you claimed to know the way but... you dont trust them to know how to survive the desert. And you knew you were right when some people from your caravan started feeling faint.
"Return to Jerusalem and take care of yourself." "But we cant just leave you, princess-" "You are not going to be able to serve me if you dont survive the desert. Salauddin's camp is near and with his guards combined with mine, I'll be more than safe. Go now. And tell the king that I insisted you returned." You assured them, commanding a few knights to guard them on their way back.
Looking ahead, you saw the sand hill beyond which Salauddin's camp was. Isabella, your lady-in-waiting, gave you your niqaab and chaddar.
-
"And then, he told me about who Charlotte was and what really happened. It was all a big misunderstanding." You told Salauddin as he moved his pawn.
"You believed him?" He raises a brow as you made your move.
"Of course! I already knew Guy was behind it. I figured it from the letters, and his face practically gave it all away when I confronted him about it." You reached under your veil to fan yourself. "Is it burning in here or am I just imagining it?"
Salauddin turned and brought you some cold water. "Guy could be a threat to you. Dont trust him."
You turned your head to the side, barely lifting your veil before bringing the glass underneath it to your lips, gulping it down as you let out a relieved sigh. "I know. Guy is a tool, and tools are meant to be used."
His lips quirked slightly at your words. Sitting back down, he played his move. "When do you plan on leaving Baldwin?"
"Soon. The plan is in motion." You took some time before moving your knight. Salauddin wasnt making this game easy for you this time and neither was the hot temperature.
He leaned forward, taking your knight with his bishop. "And how do you plan on doing that when your fiance has just announced your wedding date?"
You narrowed your eyes at him. "How did you- spies?" Salauddin's silence confirmed how news travelled so fast. "You dont need to worry. I'll be long gone before the wedding day."
"Care to indulge me on your plan?" He popped a date in his mouth.
"No." You replied making him glare at you. "If your plan involves relying on Guy, then you're even stupider than you look."
You scoff, pushing his king down. "I'm sorry, how many rounds have you won against me?" He smirks, though you suspect that he's just trying to cover up for being a sore loser.
"Maybe I just let you win so that you get to live." Of course, how can you forget his "win or you die" version of chess.
"Whatever you say, grandpa." His jaw clenched, making you chuckle. "Your existence gives me a headache. Leave."
As you walked out, you're suddenly hit with a wave of dizziness. Under your veil, your face is sweaty, you cant even use your hands to wipe it away because of how clammy they are, you even feel beads of sweat rolling down from your neck to your leg.
"Are you alright?" Salauddin came up behind you, eyes studying you stumbling a bit.
"Yeah- I'm just- hot..." You muttered, sweat gathering around your upper lip while your mouth felt like cotton. He watched you blink slowly as the sun hit you in the face, making you raise your hand to shield yourself, even though your muscle cramped.
"Y/n?" You heard him call you, but black dots clouded your vision and then in a second, you fainted.
-
You woke up to the sound of drums playing outside. Looking around, you recognised this to be the women's tent you had been in the first time Baldwin brought you here.
Isabella walked in, halting for a moment when she realised you were awake before rushing towards you. "Princess? Are you okay?" She poured you a glass of water, helping you drink it. "What happened?"
"You fainted from the heat. We were going to take you back to the kingdom but Sultan Salauddin advised us all to stay put here because the air was only going to get hotter for the rest of the day. And by night, it would be too cold for us to make it back." She smiled gently. "He was kind enough to offer us stay here."
You nodded and sighed. For sure none of you wouldve survived if you were to return to Jerusalem today.
You walked out of the tent to see it was night now. The drums you heard earlier were being played by some men of Salauddin's, accompanied by few women clapping and having an overall merry time around the bonfire.
You didnt spot Salauddin with them, but you suppose he's probably either working or resting.
The temperature had indeed dropped as night fell, and you wrapped a shawl around before joining the camp fire. You sat down on the ground with some women, smiling as they immeadiately welcomed you warmly. The one on your right was quick to show you her baby, and you recognised him to be the one you saved.
"Jibrael." She told you his name. The baby was almost a month old, and his chubby cheeks made you coo. Jibrael- or Gabriel, is an angel who acted as an  intermediary between God and humans and as bearer of revelation to the prophets, most notably to Muhammad (PBUH). In Christianity, Gabriel was the archangel announcing the coming birth of Jesus Christ and John the Baptist. In Judaism, Gabriel is a helper to Daniel and a warrior angel for God's cause.
You played with the baby for a while before handing him back to his mother to be put down for sleep. It was getting cold now and most had already left to go to bed now. You wrapped the shawl around you closer, snuggling into it as your eyes gazed at the dancing flames. You felt someone sit next to you.
"How are you feeling now?" Salauddin asked, keeping his eyes ahead.
"I'm fine. Thank you for catching me."
"I didnt. You fell. It was funny." You turned to glare at him (the respectable gap between you two did not go unnoticed... or unappreciated by you.) and perhaps for the first time you saw him smiling. Genuinely.
Though his thick beard covered most of his lower third of the face, you could see his sharp jawline that sculpted his face. Strong. Hard. His lips, bottom one appearing to be plumper than the upper one, were resting in a relaxed smile.
The moonlight seemed to soften his sharp features, but his kohl lined eyes adorned with luscious lashes shone with amusement and... something in the orange hue of the bonfire.
He turned his head to you. "What?" You were thankful for your veil covering your expression for being caught staring at him like an idiot. You shake your head, dismissing him, turning your head back towards the dying fire.
"What are you going to do once you leave Baldwin?" Salauddin asked, stoking the fire.
"Leave."
"To where?" You shrug. "Anywhere. Maybe try finding my family. Or venture somewhere else."
"He wont give up so easily." You rolled your eyes. "Yeah yeah, because he loves me and all-"
"He wont forgive your betrayal." Salauddin cut you off. "He wont forgive you for the embarrasment. He wont forgive you for the insult of rejecting a king. He wont just- let you go." He looked at you, his tone haunting as he uttered the next words.
"Baldwin will hunt you down. And he will make you wish you were dead."
You stared at him, processing his words. Baldwin would... hurt me?
"Are we talking about the same man?" You ask him with a light chuckle, though your throat has ran dry.
He nods. "I know he seems like he couldnt hurt a fly, and physically, he couldnt until you cured him. But I've seen him on the battlefield. I've had him as my enemy and I've observed him obliterate people who just tick him off." He offered you some dates, and you took a few. You were hungry, and these looked pretty good right now.
"Baldwin is smart, calculating. He's the king, he has the power to end his enemy very easily. At the drop of a hat. But he doesn't. He waits for the perfect moment, or rather creates the perfect chance to torture any man who had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of his anger. And he does it with a completely cool, clear mind." And even though Salauddin has fought Baldwin many times, they both know they're only fighting for their people, for their religion. Its nothing personal, so they're technically not enemies.
"So what do you suggest I do to not piss him off so badly? I've already tried rejecting him respectfully."
He stayed quiet for a few moments, stoking the fire. He smiled when he felt your curious eyes on him.
"There is a way." He said.
"Which is...?"
His smile widened even more. "You're not ready for it yet." You frowned. "Drop the act, Salauddin. You came here by yourself because you wanted to tell me the plan. Stop teasing and just tell me." He chuckled hearing you become frustrated.
"In due time, Y/n. In due time." You roll your eyes, standing up. "I'm not going to beg you to tell me. But your "plan", which I dont think exists, it better not mess with my escape." You stomped back inside your tent, and Salauddin snickered as you tripped a bit on your chadar on the way in.
He stood up, giving a nod to the rest as they all settled in for the night.
-
"Salauddin!" You cried out, your eyes full of tears that he could see from a mile away, even if your were wearing a niqaab. He could feel your agony, your distress. You were standing in the middle of the desert alone, the boiling sun along with your black chadar covering you from head-to-toe, would only be increasing your body temperature. Why were you all alone? He left you with his caravan. Or did Baldwin leave you in this harsh enviorment to die? Did he find out you were going to leave him?
"Salauddin!" You called out to him again, your voice wet from all the crying. This time, he rode his horse towards you. Fast. He needed to get to you, even though the galloping hurt his shoulder. Yes, he got wounded while he was fighting. He sustained many injuries, many gashes, so much so that by the time he reached you, his white armour had turned bloody. But he was not bothered by it, no. He needed to reach you. You. How long have you been out here? Arent you dying of thirst?
Your arms were still wide open, though drooping from the lack of energy. He could hear you sobbing as you called him again, and he all but ran towards you, bodies colliding as he pulled you into a strong embrace. Muscled arms wrapped around you, comforting you that he's here now. You're safe now.
Salauddin looked around as you bawled into his chest, trying to see if everyone had really abandoned you here and... left you die.
You pulled away from him, but Salauddin didnt remove his hands from you. And thats when he felt the cloth you were wearing. It was too thin. The sun must've burned your skin now. Is that why you're crying? You're in pain?
In a blink, he removed his own thick black chadar that rested on his shoulders and wrapped it around you, pulling it over your head to stop more heat damage.
"Y/n?" He spoke softly as you continued to cry so brokenly as he adjusted the cloth over your body. "What happened?"
"Y-you left me!" You blubbered. He shook his head. "No. I- I left to go in battle. I couldnt take you along. It was dangerous-"
"You left me, Salauddin! You left me here! Baldwin- he hurt me! He hurt me so badly! And you weren't here to protect me!" You sobbed out, your eyes red and swollen from the tears. "I am a part of the ummah! I am a Muslim! You- you were supposed to keep me safe! On your honour, I was in your care! Why didnt you save me, Salauddin?"
Salauddin felt his heart being crushed at your words. He failed to keep you safe? But... he was at war. What was he supposed to do?
He grabbed your shoulders, pulling you to his chest as he rubbed circles into your back. "I'm sorry." He whispered, shushing you as your body shook from tears. "I'm here now. I promise to keep you safe, Y/n. I will never leave you again. I will never let anyone hurt you again. I swear, Allah as my witness, I will do everything to keep you safe." You pulled your head back from his chest, your red eyes looking at him weakly.
"You're too late, Salauddin." You whispered and a sharp sound whooshed through the air, making your body jolt in his arms. You both looked down and thats when he saw it-
An arrow. Poking through your chest.
"Y/n?" His voice trembled, watching the life drain out of your eyes.
You fell, and so did Salauddin, catching your body. He couldnt- he couldnt believe it. He cradled you in his arms, readjusting the chadar over you again, softly calling your name.
Wake up. Wake up, Y/n. Return to me.
Footsteps approached him, though he couldnt bare to tear his eyes from you. He already knew who it was.
"Why?" Salauddin asked him.
Baldwin kneeled down to his level, staring at you for a moment before yanking his arrow out of you, making a stream of blood gush out. Salauddin panicked, tried to cover the gaping wound with his hand. He looked at Baldwin in disbelief. This... this was not the Baldwin he knew. Baldwin was never so cruel- so heartless.
"She deserved it." Baldwin stated before stabbing him in the chest.
Salauddin continued to hold you in his arms, watching Baldwin leave on his horse as you two bled out to your deaths in the middle of the desert.
Salauddin woke up with a jolt, his forehead sweaty as he breathed fast. He could feel his heart beating against his chest loudly.
Nightmare. Thats all it was. He was still in his bed, in his tent.
He got up to fetch himself some water, taking sips to slow down his heart. Judging from the darkness, he knew it was still nighttime. It was quiet, everyone was asleep except for a few men he left to guard them.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
Salauddin whipped around just in time to knock the shadowy figure standing behind him with a sword. In a second, Salauddin had overpowered and snapped his neck, only then realising more shadows moving outside his tent.
"We're under attack! WAKE UP!" He yelled before grabbing his two swords and running out to defend his caravan.
-
You woke up to screaming and Isabella pulling you out of bed.
"We're under attack!" She says, yanking you out of the women's camp that was set on fire. Your eyes were wide and for a moment, you were frozen as you took the scene in front of you.
Fire. There was fire everywhere. All the camps were ablaze, along with some people being burned alive. Haunting screams echoed the entire area. Time slowed down as you saw Salauddin's men fighting... some people. You couldnt figure out who they were, but you knew they werent the knights Baldwin had assigned for you. No, you saw them fighting these mysterious figures as well. They were covered in dark clothes to blend in with the night, had hoods and masks covering their faces but they fought skilfully and very fast.
"Princess, we must leave!" Isabella caught your attention again, dragging you away from the chaos. You saw her following a knight- your knight, who led you towards a horse for you to escape with.
Salauddin... where's Salauddin?
You looked back frantically and you spotted him in the sea of flames, cutting through multiple armed one with his two swords slicing them brutally.
For a moment, your eyes met and then in the next, he screamed your name.
Isabella had pushed you away just in time as two men came at you with swords. You knight yelled at you to run. Again, Isabella pulled you to make an escape but it wasnt long before you two got separated by a woman who was on fire, running in between you two.
"H-help her." You told Isabella who took of her shawl to put out the fire. In the middle of all this commotion, you heard a distinct cry.
A baby's cry.
Jibrael!
It was coming from one of the tents. You ran in, looking around for the baby before spotting the bassinet. You grabbed the crying baby and held it close to your chest, trying to shush it as you walked towards the exit only to halt when you saw who was blocking it.
The shadowy figure. He was wearing dark hood and mask, while the rest of his armour was made of leather. He was armed with swords, daggers and a satchel.
It clicked. Assassin.
The assassin stared at you with dark eyes taking a step forward. You backed away, holding the crying baby protectively to your chest. He tilted his head at you, and for a second, you thought you saw amusement in his eyes.
Slowly, he walked out of the tent without saying a word but he stood right behind the curtain of the tent. You saw his shadow pull out his sword before standing there still.
What is he doing?
You turned around, hoping to find another exit but thats when you saw it. Two more shadows stood outside the tent and then they dropped something on the tent walls.
Fire. They lit the entire tent on fire and stood outside with their swords, giving you the choice to either die by their swords or burn yourself alive.
The fire spread fast, burning the flammable tent easily. Dark smoke started to surround you making you cough. The baby continued to cry harshly and you pulled him under your chadar to protect him from the fire and smoke.
But you didnt realise it until it was too late. Your chadar, your clothes had caught on fire as well. You screamed for help, screamed in agony as your skin burned. It felt like you were being branded, felt like someone was ripping your skin off.
Is this it? Is this how it all ends for you? Suffocated, skin charred, body naked? In a period where no one knows who you really are?
You fell to your knees before hunching over the baby, cradling it in your arms as its harsh cries burst your ears, protecting him from being burned for as long as you can.
Allah... Allah... Allah...
Through the thick smoke, a figure ran and covered your body with a thick cloth, patting down to put out the flames.
He picked your trembling body up, your arms still wrapped around the baby protectively. He walked through the ablaze tent, his face still covered by the smoke, or perhaps your vision was too blurry.
He exited the tent, the smoke cleared out and a gush of air filled your lungs. But you were burned, suffocated and exhausted.
The last thing you saw before your world faded to black was Salauddin's face.
-
You woke up to the sound of Quran recitation. A gentle, steady voice read the words beautifully.
Fluttering your eyes open, you looked around the room for the source. To your side, you found Salauddin reciting the Quran with his eyes closed in concentration. Was he a hafidh? (Hafidh is someone who has memorised the Quran completely).
He opened his eyes when finished reciting, looking stunned for a second to find you awake before a small smile graced his lips.
"We're in Egypt now." He informed you before concern washed over his face. "How are you feeling now? I changed your bandages in the morning, but I think its time to replace them." He grabbed the bowl of water and bandages on your side.
"B-bandages?" He stopped before understanding your confusion.
"You were in the tent when the assassins set it on fire. Your... clothes caught on fire, which stuck to your skin and burned it as well. I had to remove the remains of your clothes to treat your burns-"
"What?!" Your eyes looked down to confirm his words, he had indeed changed your clothes. "Why did you-" Your hands touched your face, heart sinking as you realised your veil was not there.
"You removed my niqaab?! My clothes?!" Your fury was only a disguise for your fear of what he'd seen, what he'd done to you in your vulnerable state.
He shook his head. "I had to do it as soon as we were safe. You were hurt-"
"Why? Why did you have to do it? Why not Isabella or any of the other women?!"
His face turned solemn. "Isabella... was gravely injured. She was in no position to look after you. Most people- most women from my tribe did not survive. The few who did were also wounded. The men... I just thought you wouldnt prefer someone you didnt know to look at you in such state." Salauddin looked at you, his eyes clear. "I did not do anything unbecoming of a man. Allah as my witness, I did not touch you with ill intent."
Perhaps it was the way he said it, or perhaps you just wanted to keep your mind at peace but... you believed him.
"How's Isabella now?" You let him change the dressings on your arms, watching him like a hawk as he moved quickly and carefully, no unnecessary touches or lingering that would make you uncomfortable. Even when he treated the the burns on the back of your legs, he worked fast, applying some balm on the red areas. The balm was like a cool gel against your irritated skin.
"She's better now. Just needed some rest." He replied as he finished wrapping the bandage on your legs. "Your back." Salauddin softly asked. You hesitated.
He sighed. "Y/n... I need to apply the balm or your skin will scar." You slowly turned around, holding your breath as you removed the robe from your back partially.
If he wanted to, he could've done anything when you were unconcious. You calmed yourself.
Again, Salauddin's hand worked fast, applying the balm quickly and placing some gauze over the marks. He pulled your robe over your back again, letting you turn around with a flushed face.
"My... my face?" You asked cautiously. You did not know if damage had been done there as well.
Salauddin understood you. "Fortunately, your face was save from the flames." He stood up and went over to the wardrobe to grab you a white chadar, handing it to you so that you cover your head with it. "Maybe when you were ducking over Jibrael, your arms covered both you and him from the fire."
"Jibrael...?" You asked. He smiled assuringly. "He's fine. You saved him... again." You sigh in relief. At least this wasnt all for naught.
Salauddin sits back down in the chair and though you've covered your hair with the shawl, he keeps his eyes trailed down on his hands in his lap. "I must ask you of one thing." You peeked at him before keeping your eyes focused on your lap as well.
"Will you... tell Baldwin about this incident?" Why would you when it would only cause Baldwin to panic and prevent you from leaving the castle, or his sight at all? You still need to come here to get parts for your time machine and even if the machine was working, you need to be able to use it without Baldwin or his army of knights breathing down your neck.
"No. It will only cause misunderstandings between you and him and I need to punish the real culprit for it."
He frowned but didn't raise his gaze. "And who might that be?"
"Those men... they were assassins, right?" He hummed. "Judging by how vicious they were, I think they were Ismailis."
Ismailis were a sect of Shia Muslims. Basically, like the great schism of Christianity into Orthodox and Catholic Church, Islam also had a schism that divided it into Sunni and Shia Islam. Shia Islam further had divided into different sects, of which one was Ismailis.
Sunni and Shia Muslims have been at war with each other since the beginning over religious differences. And considering Salauddin was not only Sunni Muslim but also targeted many Ismaili assassins so that they would not oppose his rule, it would be an understatement that they wanted Salauddin dead.
But... you know Salauddin had already gotten rid of most of the assassins and established his dominance over them. You're sure he's already had a peace treaty with them.
"Salauddin, you have an agreement with the Ismailis, don't you?" You watched his eyes widen slightly. "You're on peaceful terms with them at the moment?"
"How did you know?" Of course, the great Sultan Salauddin, an orthodox Sunni, wouldn't want the world to know that he spared the Ismailis. No, that would stir rumours that Salauddin has empathy for Ismailis, for the Shias, and which would lead to the rumours of hum being a Shiite Muslim.
You waved him off. "I know your character. I know of your mercy. Besides, I know both you and the Ismailis have a bigger common enemy- the Christians. Its more than likely that the Ismailis are supporting you so that you defeat Baldwin and claim Jerusalem, then they can focus on you. Plus, if the Ismailis wanted to kill you, why wait until now? They know you've been camping outside Jerusalem for months now." Salauddin was... impressed by your deduction skills to say the least. How are you connecting the dots so fast? Just who are you, Y/n?
You rubbed your chin. "So that means that someone not only hired the assassins but also wants us to think that the Ismailis were behind it all." Who could it be? Someone who wants to harm Salauddin but... they also wanted to harm you. It couldnt be the Roman Catholics or other Christians. No, they'd know better than to interfere with Baldwin, their Holy Emperor's war. Especially not with his wife-to-be in harms way. Who... who would know that you're with Salauddin and still attempt an assassination-
"Guy." You muttered, pinching the nose of your bridge. Of course, its fucking Guy, shit for brains Guy who cant sit still and wait his turn to play king.
"Guy? Why would he attack me when you're still here?" Salauddin's mind immeadiately gives an answer as soon as he asks out loud.
"Because I am here." You groan. "He's trying to eliminate us both, or at the very least- me, while I'm with you so that he can provoke Baldwin to go to war with you because you "killed" his future wife. He would tell Baldwin that it doesnt matter if they were Ismailis or not, we were all Muslims and this is just how Muslims are! He'd send Baldwin off to not only go to war with you but rather go to war with Muslims everywhere! And knowing Guy, he probably hopes that Baldwin dies in the process of his rampage. If you, me or Baldwin are all dead, or even one of us is, then Guy will only have to worry about dealing with one less person. His best bet was probably to get rid of me and you both, then have Baldwin go to war with all the Muslims who killed his fiancee. He's using all of us as pawns so that he gets to sneak on to the throne and be king!"
You heard Salauddin sigh. Perhaps he agreed with your theory. Perhaps he didnt. Whatever he may think, you know he will still conduct a thorough investigation of his own to find out who the real culprit is,
"Dont worry, I will deal with Guy. In fact, I'll let you have him to slaughter as you please." Of course, Salauddin will kill Guy. He has to pay for the blood of all his people.
Salauddin watched you get up from the bed and walk towards the vanity. "How long will these take to heal?" You asked, referring to your burns. "Usually take about a month, but the balm I used will significantly fade the marks." Good. You dont need Baldwin freaking out over them.
He stood up to take his leave. "I'll check on what information they've been able to gather from the assassin we caught. You-" He pointed towards the bed. "Rest. I mean it. These burns will only get worse in the heat outside, thats why I gave you the coolest room in the palace." He continued to glare at you until you finally sighed and sat on the bed. "I have to go see Isabelle-" You tried but he raised his hand. "No. You are to stay here, in your room. No one gets in, and no one gets out. I dont trust anyone to not try to kill you, not even in your own entourage- whatever is left of them. My men are stationed right outside. If you need anything, you tell them. But you are not to leave your chambers."
"I'll see you at dinner." He left and you saw the guards stationed outside your door.
The great thing about Egyptian palaces was that they had big windows to allow for ventilation. So you were already out of the window and climbing along the edge. You were about to jump when you heard someone call you.
"P-princess?!" Isabelle looked at you in horror. Apparently, you had climbed down near the balcony of her room. "Oh hey, Isabelle! How are you now?"
"I- I'm fine- princess, please get down from there!" She practically begged, fearing for your life. You climbed over her balcony and hugged her. "I'm so glad you're okay! Because I need you to do me a favour." You gave her a sweet smile while she looked at you in confusion. "See, I need to go out for a bit but Salauddin has told me to stay in and rest. So... I need you to cover for me again, just like last time."
"I- what- princess-"
"I wouldnt ask you if it wasnt of grave importance." You pleaded, finally making her give in. "Okay, I'll go to your room-" You stop her when she begins walking away.
"You cant just walk in there. There's guards stationed there and they wont let you in."
"Then how am I supposed to get in?"
You smiled at her. She didnt like that smile. It wasnt... well meaning.
"Well..." You looked at the balcony and she followed your gaze, almost immediately coming to tears.
"Princess please-"
"I am right here. I will help you, I promise Isabelle! I wont let you fall."
-
After helping a trembling Isabelle climb into your room, you had finally made your way to the madrassa. You had covered your face with your chadar and sneaking inside was no feat.
Abbas jumped out of his seat the moment you entered.
"Y/n! I thought you forgot all about me- wait what happened to your hands?" He referred to the bandages.
"I had an accident while conducting an experiment." "What experiment? Can I be a part of it? Please please please-"
"Abbas." You silenced him. "Business first. Did you make the tools I asked you to?" He quickly ran to his desk and pulled them out from the drawer. You examined them. They werent the best but you could make do with them. You nodded before asking for a paper so that you could draw the last few bits you needed.
"I need these by the end of this week." Abbas chuckled. "Oh I thought you were joking. How do you expect me to build- whatever this is! in a week? No way. I would need to get all the material and-"
"Abbas. I need it this week. I dont care how, but you have to do it."
He looked at you suspiciously. "Maybe if you could just tell me what it is that you're making-"
"No. I cant. And you will make me this by the end of the week, if not earlier because I have a very good reward waiting for you."
Abbas rolled his eyes. "I dont need your money-"
"I will let you ask me anything you want. Any question on any topic you'd like." You knew Abbas's thirst for knowledge.
You saw the twinkle in his eyes. "I will still take the money." "Of course, but I'll pay you after you make me this." He sighed and agreed.
"Wait- check this please?" He handed you his journal that had some math equations. You huffed, grabbing his pen and working on the mistakes. "I'm doing this just so that you do my work." You gave him some other math problems you did in grade 8 and handed it back to him.
You turned to leave before pausing.
"Abbas?" He hummed. "I think... we should set some security measures." You whispered.
"Whatever for?"
"Just in case someone came looking for me or my work. You know you're not supposed to tell anyone about this."
"I couldnt even if I wanted to." He tilted his head. "Why would someone come looking for you? Are you in trouble?"
You shake your head. "No. But you're aware of how other... scholars are eager to steal ideas." He nodded, being a victim of such crime.
"What do you have in mind?"
-
Salauddin was informed when you had returned to the palace. Of course he knew the moment you left. This was his Egypt. Not a bird flies without his knowledge here.
He sent out a spy after you, both to keep you safe and to follow you around. He couldnt help but let out a huff when he was told of your daring climb out of the window. Didnt he tell you to stay in bed?
"This girl..." He grumbles.
The spy told him that you went inside the madrassa. Why? What business could you possibly have there?
Perhaps you're creating a poison? To kill Baldwin? No, there would be easier ways to get poison. You did tell him and Baldwin that you were going to Egypt to find your family, but he has a hard time believing that.
Just what were you upto?
He'll find out soon enough. This is his kingdom, he finds out things. And he'll find out your secret too.
He knocked on your door before entering. You were sitting on your bed, your face now covered with a niqaab and your hair with his white chadar. His clothes. He felt something warm in his heart at the thought.
"How are you now?" He asked, his hands clasped behind his back.
"I'm fine. Just bored waiting here all day." You sighed exasperatedly.
Such a liar.
"I apologise for not being able to entertain you. I was busy with the assassin." You looked at him in anticipation. "He didn't reveal much but he did say that they were hired. I suppose that would bring us closer to your theory."
He watched your eyes narrow in thought. "It has to be Guy. He knew I was going to the desert to you first. He needed to get rid of me without anything to come back on him. Coward."
The door was knocked.
"I hope you dont mind- I had them bring dinner up here." Salauddin explained, letting the servants in. They set down a dastarkhawan in the balcony. A red table cloth was set on the ground, onto which many dishes were placed. You both sat down on cushions, the area was lit up with candles placed. You were busy admiring the view of the pyramids from your seat while Salauddin poured you some ginger kehwa.
"Here." You lifted your niqaab a bit to sip the hot tea, a sigh escaping your lips. Salauddin's lips quirked a bit but he, like you, kept his eyes focused on the pyramids.
You picked up the plate of dates from your side, knowing how fond he is of them. "Here." You mimicked his voice, making him smile as he grabbed a piece.
You both silently ate, admiring the view and enjoying each others presence.
Some time later, you were both done with dinner and just sat in silence. That is until Salauddin spoke.
"I'm sorry." You looked at him. "For letting you get hurt."
You exhaled, trailing your eyes back towards the night sky that was littered with gleaming stars.
"I know. But you shouldnt be, Salauddin. I'm not made of porcelain."
I know. I saw you jumping off the palace walls with the confidence of an assassin and the grace of a headless chicken.
"Still, you're under my care. I am responsible for you-"
"I free you of this burden." You're not a burden. "I am not that hurt and I am not scarred for life. If anything, all that incident made me question is just how far would man go?" Your eyes glazed over as you recalled the incident in the tent, where the assassin left you and the baby to burn to death. You could understand killing you, but a baby? He was willing to let a baby burn?
"It makes me believe just how barbaric people were to the Ahl al-Bayt (family of Prophet Muhammad PBUH). How easy it was for them to slaughter his lineage, how easy it was for them to keep water from them, how their hearts did not halt for a moment when they heard the cries of Ali Asghar- who they killed with an arrow in the neck." Your eyes glistened. "A baby. He was just a baby. How would've his father felt in that moment, holding his dead son in his arms, knowing he had to bring him home to his wife?" The battle of Karbala was one of the most heart wrenching tragedies of Islam and whats worse is that Prophet Muhammad knew of it years before it happened. He knew his own grandsons will face martyrdom years before it actually happened, when they were just little children in his arms.
"Man is cruel." Salauddin stated.
"But Allah made man. Why... would he allow man to be so cruel? Even animals are not this merciless." You wondered.
"Because man cannot see God." He says. "There are signs of His existence, signs for those who wish to be guided. Animals can see God. Angels can see God. Humans... Allah has made us with the ability to think, to choose. Man chooses to be cruel when he forgets that Allah is watching, that these things- the stones, the trees, everything around him? They're all living beings who will testify against man." He smiles. "But that is why the true believers also have a greater reward in the hereafter. What do you think of the reward, of what you'll get when you enter heaven? You dream of wealth, of food, of all luxuries. But there's a greater reward waiting for us. Do you know what that is?"
You gave a slight shake of your head.
"The true believers will see Allah. They will get to meet their Lord, their Creator, the One who saw them through it all, the One who knows their secrets and kept them hidden, the One continued to shower His blessings upon them even when they were not grateful." Those words... they comforted you. How peaceful it is to the heart to hear that your Creator waits for you. The One who has seen you shed tears and took care of you in this world will also take care of you in the next. And at the same time, this is such devastating news for the sinners too. Those who act selfishly, who forget who their Lord is, they will end up in hell and will never get the opportunity to see their Creator again, to ask of mercy from the most Merciful.
"Still..." You mumbled, wanting to find an excuse for such wickedness.
"It is not our place to ask why, Y/n. Allah does not owe us answers, explanations. He already has given us His book for guidance, his prophets for example. But know this- everything happens for a reason. Maybe the battle of Karbala was just to show us how quick man can turn on his own. Perhaps in the future, a time will come when people will kill many women and children, slaughter men so brutally while the entire world watches and yet... no one does anything. And then people will wonder- surely, man is not so evil. Surely, man wouldn't kill innocent children. Perhaps then they will remember history."
-
Salauddin woke up with a sigh. He had gone to sleep after he left your room last night, but he woke up from yet another dream he had of you. You. You. You. Since that night in the desert, he's been having constant dreams about you. Its either you dying at the hands of Baldwin or Guy, or its you asking him to help you. Tonight, he dreamt of you two celebrating Ramadan together, with you picking up the plate and offering him dates, however unlike dinner, you were sitting much closer to him in his dream, by his side. So close, he could see himself in your eyes.
Salauddin wasnt vain enough to admit it to himself- he had feelings for you. But what were they?
Lust? Not really, he's seen far prettier women than you. Beauty... is subjective and Salauddin is a firm believer in "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Admiration? No. He admires your intelligence and your wit but Salauddin also has those qualities.
Infatuation? Sure he does think about you often during the day but not enough to call it obsession.
No, its love. It has to be. His heart doesnt know what exactly it is about you that draws him in. His mind doesnt comprehend why he feels like you belong with him but his soul, every fibre of his being screams that you do.
Allah has created someone for someone. He created Eve for Adam, He creates a woman from the rib of the man.
Salauddin touches the side of his chest, just above his abdomen.
Perhaps you're his missing rib.
You were smart, you were daring, you were also stupid enough to put yourself in harms way but it was... endearing. More importantly, you were the only person who could bicker with him, stand your ground against him and get away with it too.
He sat down on a chair, looking out at the pyramids. Like the man he's named after (Prophet Yusuf/Joseph), Salauddin believes in dreams having meaning. Perhaps its a way for God to talk to you, to warn you or guide you.
And from all his dreams about you, he's come to interpret it that he must save you from Baldwin... and everyone else. And he can save you- he can save you without you having to go through the trouble to be plotting against Baldwin and endangering yourself by working with Guy.
He could marry you.
If you were to marry Salauddin, you would become the queen of Egypt and the wife of the strongest Muslim leader of the time. Not only that but the entire ummah, Muslims around the world will come together as one to fight against Baldwin, against anyone who dares to harm you. You would be safe, you would be secure by his side as his wife.
But the plan is easier said than done.
Baldwin wouldnt backdown so easily. He would wreak havoc and if he's as obsessed with you as Salauddin has seen him, then he wouldnt stop at nothing to get you back. Baldwin will have to be dead for you to be safe from him.
Besides Baldwin, you yourself also are a hurdle. You havent shown any interest in him (which is understandable because you're engaged) but he doubts you're interested in marrying anyone at all. You're not one to be affected his wealth or status, you dont go for materialistic things. He's sure if he were to ask your hand, you would laugh hysterically and then maybe try mocking him. And Salauddin does not want to force you to marry him. He wants you to want him.
There is a way he could convince you. All he has to do is make himself look better than any man, especially Baldwin because you do seem to have a soft spot for him despite trying to sabotage him.
A sinister idea comes to mind.
What if Baldwin breaks up with you?
If Baldwin, for any reason, decides not to marry you then not only will you be free from him but a war will be avoided.
All Salauddin has to do is give Baldwin a reason to break up with you. He could send some concubines to him, but he doubts Baldwin would use them. And even if he did, it isnt reason enough for him to call off things with you. No, the only way Baldwin would break up with you is... if you're unfaithful to him. You dont need to cheat, dont need to sleep with any man. No, you dont have to do anything at all. All he has to do is make sure you're in the right place at the right time and Baldwin's there too, just enough to create doubt in his mind. And the ball will roll from there. Baldwin will continue to second guess your loyalty to him until he's driven himself insane. Then he'd leave you without ever punishing you for a crime he thinks you committed but has no proof of. Thats when Salauddin will swoop in as your knight in shining armour and you'll see that all men but him are shit and you'll say yes to his proposal-
No.
He sighed, rubbing his temples. Despite it being a perfect plan, the safest plan- Salauddin cant bare to stain your character. He cannot spread a rumor about you being unfaithful. He cannot have anyone talk badly of you, even if it will end up with you in his arms. You're important to him. And if you ever figure out that Salauddin was the one behind it all, you'd never forgive him. You would never trust him.
The thought of you not trusting him, just like you dont trust him enough to tell him why you sneaked out of the palace, it hurts him. He doesnt know why but he wants you to trust him- trust him enough that you come to him with your problems and have faith that he will solve them for you. He will keep you safe. He will protect you.
He will have to find another way.
Salauddin offered the morning prayer before reciting the Quran, asking Allah for guidance for his problems and good health for you.
He walked out of his room and turned to the corridor where your room was, only to find you sneaking out of the room with Isabelle. You were still wearing his white chaddar, and it engulfed your small body like a blanket as you hurriedly walked down-
You tripped on the bottom of the long chaddar and fell face first.
"Princess!" Isabelle cried out as she helped you up, but you quickly dusted yourself off and continued talking her ear off as if nothing had happened, the tail of the chaddar trailing behind you as Isabelle walked beside you to keep up with what you were saying.
"Idiot..." He whispered to himself, though he was smiling. He called a servant and ordered him to bring the finest chaddars and niqaabs for you. He cant have you tripping all over the place because you wear his chaddar that was too big for you, despite how adorable you looked in it.
-
You knocked on his door.
"Salauddin, I was going to the market-"
"And you came to ask for permission? Okay, granted." He waved you off with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes. "Where do you get the audacity- nevermind. I came to ask if you'd lend me a few gold coins? I need to buy some things, souvenirs if you will." You had lost your coin purse in the desert and you need to pay Abbas.
He raised a brow. "What do you need? I can have it brought to you here."
You pursed your lips. Why is he being difficult? "I dont know what I need until I look. Just give me some money, I promise to pay you back as soon as I can."
He stood up, walking upto you but you neither backed away nor moved your eyes from him. "Its not about the money." He pulled out a pouch and dropped it in your hands. "I worry for your safety. Who knows how many others Guy has hired to kill you? I'm coming along."
"Aww, you're worried about me? That's so sweet-"
"I wouldnt want my image to tarnish because a guest died in my care." Your smile dropped as you grumbled something under your breath.
"Whatever. I still dont need you to tag along-"
"Good thing about being the sultan is that I dont need anyone's permission." He cut you off before walking past you. You stomped after him. "Salauddin, dont you have work-"
"You can either come with me or stay in your room for the rest of your stay here." He stated.
-
"What?" He heard you snicker beside him. Your eyes twinkled with amusement. "Oh, its just these rags suit you a lot." Salauddin and his guards had worn disguises to blend in with the commoners. He didnt want to draw attention to you two.
He rolled his eyes. "I have to blend in for your safety-" "I have never looked more in danger than I do right now. Look around and see people staring at a lady dressed so modestly is surrounded by brooding men wearing rags." You giggled as Salauddin looked around to see some people were indeed looking your way.
You stopped at a small stall that was selling some jewellery. You were looking at some rings, trying to choose something for Sibylla. The shopkeeper, an old man must've seen Salauddin standing over your shoulder looking around for any suspicious men.
"Son, why dont you help your wife pick something? Focus on her!" The shopkeeper said, catching you both off guard. You looked at Salauddin and laughed at his surprised face. Continuing to pull his leg, you stared up at him and batted your lashes. "Well, husband? What do you think would suit me?" You asked raising two different earrings to your face. One had a ruby in it, the other had sapphire.
He looked at you for a moment.
"Neither."
Your smile underneath your veil vanished, and you placed the earrings back on the table.
"The blue opal ones." He nodded his head as the shopkeeper handed him the tear drop gold earrings that had the precious stones fixed in it. He brought the earrings near your face, never touching it as his eyes assessed his pick.
"They bring out your eyes." He said before paying the old man and giving them to you, all while you were looking at him in awe.
"Wait! Why did you pay? I had the money." You two had begun walking again. "You mean the money I gave you?" You frowned. "I'm gonna pay you back." He smiled. "You dont need to. I have enough. As for the earrings... consider them a gift."
"Gift?"
He hummed, his chest puffed up. "Part of the hospitality of the sultan."
You glared at him before smiling. "Thanks." You two continued to walk around the market, Salauddin gave alms to the poor he encountered. You were standing at another stall, watching in fascination as the man ground up the black powder and mixed it with oils to make kohl. He filled it up in a beautiful vessel before asking if you'd like to try it.
"Oh, I dont know how to." Especially not without a mirror, which the man didnt have. But he was persistent to sell his product and when he looked at Salauddin's kohl lined eyes, he offered it to him.
"Would you apply it on your wife?" This time, Salauddin didnt react like he did the earlier when he was associated with you. He took the wooden stick dipped in the kohl and looked at you for permission.
You gave a nod. He walked upto you, gently cupping your veil covered face. You thanked God for the niqaab, or else he would've seen how violently you were blushing.
"Chin up." He whispered before tilting your chin up. Your eyes shifted as they stared into his brown ones. "Open wide." He ordered, even though your eyes were already saucer shaped from the close proximity.
He began tracing the soft edge of the stick along the waterline of your right eye. He seemed to have noticed that you were holding your breath. "Relax." He softly commanded, patting your cheek with his thumb. That broke you out of your trance as you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Dont tell me what to do." You grumbled. "Open wide." He ordered again bringing the stick up to your left eye for a second coat. You hated the way he commanded you, hated that he seemed to be having his fun with this.
"Dont order-"
"If you dont listen to me, I will marry you today." Your eyes blew wide open in shock.
"What-?!"
"Hush." He smiled placing kohl on your now wide eyes. "Whats wrong? You seemed to enjoy playing my wife but when I joke to marry you, you dont like it."
He's... joking?
Without realising, you blinked causing the still wet kohl to spread in your eyes. Salauddin had pulled the stick back just in time to not poke your eye out.
You hissed in pain, raising your hand to rub your eyes but Salauddin caught your wrist pushing it down.
"Open your eyes, Y/n. Look at me. I said- look at me." You opened your eyes to stare at him, your vision blurry from the mixture of tears and kohl.
Salauddin grabbed his handkerchief and began to dab the excess away as he tutted at you to stay still. Once he was done wiping the excess away, he blew cold air on your irritated eyes gently.
"I swear... if you dont sit still, I really will marry you today." He threatened you as he watched your red eyes glare at him. He didnt like that you were in pain, even if your own stupidity was the cause of it. This time when he applied kohl, you didnt dare to move an inch.
Fortunately, he worked faster this time around.
He gave a nod of approval when he was done. You dont know whether it was because he liked how your eyes looked now or if he was admiring his own work.
Salauddin handed the man money before taking a few bottles of kohl.
For the next hour, you two walked around in silence mostly. The image of your kohl lined eyes occupied his mind, not only because of how beautiful they were but also all the emotions that switched in a matter of seconds. You could try and hide your feelings all you want but your eyes tell. The eyes... they're the window to one's soul.
He saw attraction, anger, mesmerisation, disgust and pain in your eyes. Or maybe he's overthinking this. Maybe it was all just momentary and you really do hate the idea of being married to him.
You were both standing at yet another shop, this one was selling dates. Salauddin walked inside the shop a little more to inspect the quality of the dates, expecting you to be following behind him but when he turned around, you were gone. He walked outside the shop, hoping to find you there but it seemed like you had vanished. Even his guards hadnt seen you.
And then, as Salauddin whipped his head around, he saw the silloutte of your chadar disappearing around the corner. He ran after you, hoping to not lose you in the crowd but as soon as he turned around the corner, he couldnt spot you anywhere. He ran down the street, looking left and right but you werent there.
Where are you, Y/n?
He began walking back towards the main street when in the corner of his eye, he caught the sight of a familiar chadar. He turned his head to the right and there you were, standing with your back to him under the shadow of the large canopy of the shop talking to some man.
He walked up behind you, the man you were talking to seeing him first.
"Y/n." He snapped. You turned startled before your shoulders relaxed at the sight of him. "Oh, its just you. Did you buy the dates?"
Dates? You're asking him about dates after you just made his heart stop for a few minutes?
"Why did you leave me?" Ya Allah, that came out way more desperate than he wanted it to.
"I was getting something from this man." He raised a brow, almost as if he didnt believe you. You sighed. "This is Abbas. I hired him to make some things for me?"
"Such as?" You narrowed your eyes at his accusatory tone before nodding at Abbas, who then pulled out a heaxagonal shaped board that looked somewhat similar to a-
"Its 3 people chess!" You exclaimed, bouncing on your feet as you handed it to Salauddin. "I designed it and had Abbas make it for you!"
"For me?" He asked, turning the board around as he tried to understand how it would work.
"Yeah. I wanted to thank you for saving my life. And for your hospitality. And for lending me money."
His eyes softened slightly. "You dont need to thank me, Y/n. Its... my duty. I'm responsible for you." You waved him off. "Yeah yeah. Look, just take this and I'll teach you how to play so that one day you could play it with your wife and... kid? Or maybe with your wife and Baldwin? Or two wives-?"
"Y/n, I appreciate the gift but I would appreciate your silence more now." You pouted at his words but never the less, you both left to return to the palace, unaware of the eyes watching you two.
The mysterious figure wrote down what he'd seen before using messenger eagle to deliver the note to Jerusalem.
-
It had almost been a week in Egypt. You and Salauddin were having lunch together when a guard came to him and whispered something in his ear, the sultan frowning.
"Whats wrong?" You asked him.
He looked at you. "Baldwin... he's coming to Egypt."
"What? When?"
"He's crossed the desert. He should be getting here today, in a few hours." Salauddin was still frowning. Why is Baldwin coming to Egypt?
You shook your head. "Baldwin wouldnt ever leave Jerusalem, not unless..." Your eyes widened at the realisation.
"He's coming for a war." Salauddin confirmed.
Fuck.
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asexualbookbird · 2 days
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Whoo boy. Lots of things going on here, many of them Not Good, so I threw myself into video games and reading. Played a whole bunch of Project Sekai, so much Project Sekai I have to now force myself to take a break from Project Sekai because my hands hurt so much. I was absolutely SPOILED by my friends on my birthday. I look at my little Miku figure everyday and it brings me SO much joy!! Got an embroidery machine and I already have a couple jobs lined up so hopefully I can make a little bit of Fun Money. At the very least I'm hoping to make enough to upgrade the program so I can make my own freehand designs! I read SIX (6) books this month and I annotated in the margins for the first time! It was fun, but I think it was only fun because I was leaving notes for a friend. I don't think it's something I would enjoy on my own so I won't be making a habit of it. Still! Fun and new and exciting!
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Someone You Can Build A Nest In by John Wiswell ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- Okay Initially I rated this four stars, but sitting on it for a month I ADORED this. It left so many good feelings. Fun and silly and gross, I want more like this.
Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread! Still love it! I'd forgotten so much it was nice to revisit and about halfway through I remembered the ending which was fun. Opted for the audio this time which was absolutely delightfully done.
Moon Over Soho by Ben Aaronovitch ⭐⭐⭐ - Not my favorite, but still fun. I find it a Choice that the use of outdated slurs was a hint at a plot point. Peter made a promise to a child, so there's no way that will come back to bite him!
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The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai ⭐⭐- I listened to the audiobook and I think that didn't help my enjoyment of this. I switched to a hard copy in the last 20% and found my opinions of the two main characters switching. I didn't like Nehal's narrator, so I didn't like Nehal. But reading it myself she was more tolerable. Aside from Giorgina having an abortion, this could have easily been a young adult novel, and even then it wouldn't necessarily have been out of place. The writing didn't feel like an adult novel, which I hate saying but I know of no other way to voice my feelings on this.
Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- PERFECT. WONDERFUL. LOVED EVERY BIT! I know I just complained about a book reading like YA, but listen. Elatsoe was SO good. The love Elatsoe has for her family and her family for her is so refreshing. She's ace. Her loved ones love her. She loves them. And she's ace. It's not about Being Ace, but still! There she is! The audio was so easy and pleasant to listen to. I want my own copy because I KNOW I want to read this again. Absolutely delightful.
Whispers Underground by Ben Aaronovitch ⭐⭐⭐- didn't enjoy it as much as the first, but enjoyed it more than the second. Typing the title out made a lightbulb go off and I Got It. The buried alive chapter had me squirming. Abigail returned. There are an awful lot of guns in this series for being set in London and here they still had to poke fun at the American being trigger happy (she was). I'm a little burnt out on this series for now, but I'll return to it in the future.
June is bringing a birthday tea party for my mom, finishing a knit hat for my mom, making a homebound sketchbook for my friend, and whatever books I feel in the mood for. I'd say throw suggestions at me, but the instant someone says YOU MUST READ THIS my brain goes hm. No uwu. I think I want to make Monthly Reading Goals photos again, that was fun! Only book set in stone this month is The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi which I've already started and am enjoying a lot so far. Good omens and good vibes for June, I am speaking that into existence.
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haikyu-mp4 · 9 hours
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Sponsored
word count; 742 – gn!reader who likes makeup
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“Sugarpill… what is this?” Kenma mumbled as he opened another PR package. This one was a bright pink box, on the smaller side. He scrunched his nose as he opened it, finding a little flyer and something square with a pixelated cat on the front. “Fun size… eyeshadow palette?” he read off the label and looked up as the chat suddenly went crazy.
kozuluvr: omg its makeup
kenkenspudding: will we finally get beauty guru kodzuken?
raginggamergirl: I dont even use makeup n I want this palette
Kenma hummed under his breath, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know why they would send me this,” he said honestly, twisting and turning the palette in his hands before opening it and showing the bright colours to the livestream, also doing his best to read off the names, which were all gaming related.
urfavkuroo: makeup tutorial for your next follower special?
He looked down at the palette, seemingly studying it. “The names are cool.”
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When you came home from work, you kicked your shoes off and sighed loudly as you strolled into the kitchen. You knew Kenma was playing on livestream, so you picked up two juice boxes from the fridge and went to his office.
“Hey, baby,” you cooed, waving at the camera as you stepped up beside Kenma and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You two announced your relationship a long time ago, and after getting through the short period of intense hate comments, most of his fans seemed to get over it. They realised that you were kind of awesome.
“Hi, how was work?” Kenma asked, taking the juice box from you with a small thanks after pausing the game.
“Same old, same old.” You glanced at the screen and then back to him. “And yours?” you asked back with a teasing tone. “Looks tough.” Kenma scoffed and pinched your thigh, making you giggle. He ignored your question in favour of leaning across his desk to pick up the pink package.
“Look what I got in my sponsored mail,” was all he said, handing it to you and watching for your reaction with a small smile on his face. He really likes it when you get home.
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People started posting suggested makeup looks with his name on Twitter and you even responded to a couple of them from your account, agreeing with what would suit him and what would not.
That’s why you two agreed that you would do the makeup on him, announcing on Kodzuken’s channels that if they got him to his next follower milestone, they would get a makeup special.
And what do you know, Kenma got a follower boost from all the posts his fans made about him and the palette.
You happily helped him set up to film in your living room, so you could sit cross-legged and face each other on the couch where the lighting was a bit nicer. In preparation, you cleaned your eyeshadow brushes and put Kenma’s hair in a nicer bun so the camera could properly catch whatever you did.
He raised a brow as you held up the eyeshadow palette to the camera and put your hand behind it, explaining the product. “What are you even doing?” he asked you, pointer finger drawing stars on your knee while he watched you affectionately.
“This is what us beauty gurus do,” you said in a jokingly posh voice, also telling him “You wouldn’t understand.”
“This is my channel, you know,” he teased, using his other hand to tap your cheek. If he focused more on you, he didn’t think too much about how much more exposed he was to his viewers in a video like this compared to what he was used to.
“Shh, I’m talking to my devoted followers,” you said before laughing, picking up the next colour on a new brush and putting a quick kiss on his lips before you continued with the makeup. “We’re all Kodzuken fans here.”
Kenma knew some people expected him to act annoyed, but he also knew there was no way to hide how much he loved your soft touches and the concentrated look on your face as your brushes ticked his skin to give him a (supposedly trendy) “rainbow blush”.
There were even more mentions of him online after the video was posted. Now the fans shared screenshots and video clips of him and his partner, discussing how adorable you were together. Couple goals.
masterlist
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trialserrors · 20 hours
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hornets views on vessels and strength, and how she echoes her father
hello! this post is an analysis on hornet where i discuss her mindset, her relationship with the knight, and her parallels with her father in detail. im writing this because i dont think a lot of hollow knight fans are aware of just how much she parallels the pale king, how her ideals become almost entirely the opposite of his, and how complex her relationship with the knight is.
okay, so, over the course of the story, hornet repeatedly tests and puts you through challenges to gauge if you can replace her sibling in the black egg and if you can, effectively, this time, imprison the radiance.
she meets you at greenpath to duel you, and see you prove your strength, and she meets you at the city of tears to direct you to where she wants you, and where she can make you prove yourself again. then, she meets you again at the void.
so lets talk about greenpath first.
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before her fight begins, she says, “i know what you’d try to do. i can’t allow it.”
this is interesting, to me. if “what you’d try to do” means “free the hollow knight”, this is one of her first displays of (somewhat) apathy for the vessels. she knows that the vessel plan isnt working, she most likely knows the hollow knight is in suffering, she knows the hollow knight is her sibling and therefore has a bond with it; a motivation for her to free it herself.
but she doesnt, and shes willing to go to extremes to ensure that that the hollow knight is not freed. almost as if shes protecting her fathers vision, or as if she, too, holds the desperate ideal that the vessel plan can work. either way, both mindsets require the sacrifice of generosity and sympathy towards the hollow knight, and the vessels.
we know that later, she wants you to replace the hollow knight (and, you know, this means, for a good portion of the story, shes willing to continue the cycle of the vessels suffering) and i think both of these motivations are at play. something along the lines of, “dont go freeing the hollow knight, i have to test you, and see if youre able and worthy to replace it first, and then you can go freeing the hollow knight.”
now, lets zoom in.
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so, when she challenges you, shes standing in front of the body of a vessel, her sibling. it is possible to read this as hornet protecting the body, and thinking you might desecrate or dishonor it. thats a fair interpretation.
however, she also fights overtop the body, with the possibility she could damage it herself, and doesnt bring it with her when she flees. she just kind of leaves it there for you to loot.
another, less charitable interpretation of this, is that that vessel, she had challenged before you, and that vessel hadnt been fortunate enough to win and pass her test. i mean, there is a weapon in it—another bug would have had to kill it.
and she is also very willing to kill you! you dont fail her fight by making a sign of defeat and then she backs off, knowing shes won. she fights you until you die.
(it can be said that the weapon is a nail and not a needle, therefore it was likely another, different bug that killed that vessel, but it also couldve been that hornet took the vessels own nail, that it was using to fight, and stabbed it into the vessels body.)
so, with these interpretations in mind, you could see hornet as doing what her father had done: testing any vessel to see if theyre worthy (through extreme means), and leaving them for dead if they arent.
however, i do not think hornet feels complete apathy for the two vessels, in this scene. when you dream nail her, one of her pieces of dialogue is, “only pity for your cursed kind.”
i do see this the same way as i see that cutscene in the path of pain, though.
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is the pale king trying to bond with the pure vessel, in this moment? does that mean he knows, deep down, that the pure vessel is a failure, and that the vessel plan wont work? is it a desperate reach to find a connection in a being he doesnt think is capable of connection? did he talk to the vessel, when this really happened? does he feel guilt over the vessel plan? does he sympathize with it?
all of that is possible, but that doesnt mean he didnt repress those feelings and carried on with the hollow knights training, anyway. hornet may feel pity, or sympathy, for her siblings, but initially, its not enough to warrant her to want to stop the cycle.
okay. onto her meeting with you in the city of tears.
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so, she never addresses anything about you, other than, basically, “you beat me. i underestimated you. you should know whats going on, then. you can fight me again and earn the right to assume your role.” in this scene.
but, she also addresses, at this point, that you can think and remember, (she says you could potentially know something) and that you can make choices and feel (she offers you the choice to keep going.) this goes against two requirements for the hollow knight: no mind to think, no will to break.
so, either, by continuing to test you, she wants to chase those possibilities out, or, she acknowledges that they are inescapable, and that somehow, you just have to be able to contain the radiance, anyway.
theres very little, but still some, sympathy in this exchange. she knows that if you knew what happened to your sibling, you might not want to continue. and she doesnt force you to.
theres the possibility that one of her lines, in this scene, could mean something more. “you i’ve underestimated, though i’ve since seen the truth.” i mean, yeah, she does mean what she says.
however, if she acknowledges that the vessel can think and feel, and still has the potential to contain the radiance, this could also mean: “i thought you wouldnt be able to achieve much while still facing the setback of possessing a mind. since you bested me, i dont think thats true anymore.”
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so, yeah. “i’d feel no sadness in a weakling’s demise.” she is explicitly being apathetic and cold, here. she has only expressed concern or consideration for your feelings, thoughts or decisions when it pertains to whether you will or will not continue on to assume your purpose, so far.
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there are other instances where she acknowledges your feelings in this scene, such as here. if you would not accept, it might mean you fear going forward, or would be stuck mourning the past, or something similar.
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and theres also this line. this is interesting because it poses a juxtaposition between the pale kings requirement of “no will to break” and hornets requirement of “a will that cannot be broken.” perhaps she does not believe a vessels strength lies in its apathy and disconnect from a mind and emotions, but rather, from the mind and emotions’ own power, by the time this scene happens.
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in this piece of dialogue, she describes the conception of the vessels as “tragic.” so, she does, very clearly, now, sympathize with you, understand your potential strengths, and she also believes in you (when she urges you to move forward, she exclaims it, “then do it!” and remarks multiple times on your strength, so, i think its safe to assume she has confidence in you, now.) shes forming a connection with you. yippee!
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she also she saves you from the falling rocks inside the cast off shell. and she just kind of leaves you in the snow afterward. so, her connection with you isnt enough to make her want to check on you any more, at this point. she still expresses a certain amount of apathy. whether or not she worries about you afterward, and simply deems remaining long enough if youve been damaged is inappropriate? i couldnt say.
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or maybe thats why she pauses over you, for a moment? she could be seeing if youre alright, or something? maybe she is, maybe she isnt. i dont know. it is notable though, that if she went in to save you, she had most likely been watching/stalking you.
probably something she learned from her mother, and deepnest, that stalking unseen. anyway, onto the void.
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okay, here we go. here, we really get to talk about how hornet “echoes her father.” hornet meets you at a ledge— the same ledge where the pale king met with the pure vessel— you must ascend and take the journey again up, from the void, to her.
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it is almost identical. prove yourself to your kin, through arduous trials. reach them, at the peak of the void, after making the difficult journey. meet them at a ledge. there, they will express their approval.
but the difference, i think, speak the loudest about hornets connection with, and view on you (ghost), and the rest of the vessels.
and that difference is? she talks to you.
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she doesnt see youve succeeded, and then leave, expecting you to follow. she doesnt only stand there, watching and waiting to see if youve done what she wanted. she not only talks to you,
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but she tries to relate with you, she relays her own, personal emotions to you, her hopes and wishes. would she ever have done this, back at greenpath? probably not. the pale king have done this? probably not.
and she also,
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again, offers you a choice, and presents both sides of the decision, to you. she also acknowledges that you have the choice to replace the hollow knight, which, up until i unlocked this dialogue, seemed like the one linear goal she was directing you towards, to me, or stop the cycle completely by facing the “heart of the infection.”
okay. black egg time.
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another acknowledgement of your emotions is in this line despite you reaching the goal that should have required the lack of them. she still thinks your strengths lie within your mind.
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i think before this, hornet wouldve been more certain. but ghost has given her lots of new ideas, about her family, and about the vessels.
so, naturally, she might question if this really is the only correct path for you.
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to conclude,
hornets views of the vessels, ghost, her sibling, and their role, all come to directly parallel the pale kings, eventually. ghosts journey effects her mindset deeply.
you see her, first, as the steely protector, in your way, who speaks with finality and fierceness. and, later, she becomes more of a sister—the only other free survivor of your family, who shares the knowledge of your tragedy, who will push you towards your goal, until youve accomplished it, and given you both, and your world, peace.
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kel-lance · 8 hours
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JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 4
(quick chapter//moving plot)
Warnings:
- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.
Premise:
Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 12 chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)
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AN: Sorry for the long update i'm trying not to get evicted bc i was fired a while ago bc of a protest (surprise surprise big companies don't like or care about palestine or other places like it.) but i had to give away my cats and am still struggling i have my socials in my masterpost if you could help if not its okay ily, I hope you like it
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After the three took a break from you, Sukuna pushed Yuuji towards you. Todo just follows along, trying to make sure Sukuna doesn't kill Yuuji as they just don't know what Sukuna could be thinking at times like these.
You lay a top the bed, sheets strayed, your hair messy, your whole body sweaty and broken, you entirely were weak, and Yuuji couldn't stop saying sorry to your fucked out face. "Let's see what you got."
You didn't feel anything for a few minutes until Todo broke the silence. "You've got to do something, brother, you know I'll back you up."
Yuuji just continued to stand there. If he were to fight Sukuna with Todo on his back, he wouldn't know who else would fight with them. Todo would lose everything he already has and would blindly die for him, which he would never ask for. But if he were to go through with fucking you again for Sukuna's enjoyment, Todo would also have to add himself into the situation. This double edged sword was going to stab him either way, but which would hurt you less?
"Don't take too long..." The leader made motion that he was going to start walking towards you two. "NO." Yuuji covered you on the bed, staring off back at his older brother. Todo comes behind Yuuji, putting a hand on his shoulder before giving him a look, and sighing understandingly as he stripped off his shirt.
Todo and Yuuji's was almost awfully awkward at first. They just felt bad, not being able to tell if you were even conscious anymore and continuing to do to you what they were doing.
Really they weren’t allowed to stop until Sukuna was satisfied. Until Yuuji was sobbing, begging him to give you and everyone else a rest. He was asking what would it take to stop this?
The older brother taunts, “Maybe we’ll keep her til she births one of our children, or multiple if she can create sufficient and strong offspring. I don’t know, Yuuji, should I start a farm because of you? I heard the Zenin clan is somewhat similar…”
“Please, please, Sukuna what do you want?” He was breathless. “This has to stop, you can’t-.”
He stops his younger brother, “I have, I did, and I can continue this for as long as you both live. I think that may be the conclusion I’ll come to, don’t you think it would be fun to be an uncle?” His big hands caress your stomach, feigning tenderness to his soon to be child or “sibling’s” child.
- You go back to your room where you stay in for a week.
- A random night, someone breaks in and tries to kidnap you and you didn’t know who it was, obviously you weren’t going with them without an explanation.
-That caused you to fight back as your dealing with everything so far, you were getting pissed being treated like a doll. The person who broke in gets captured, just before he says “Yuuji’s waiting outside, trust me.”
- Sukuna's family come in trying to make sense of the situation and the others had captured the mystery guy
- That's not before he throws you to two female ninjas. They secure you quickly and run back to their master Toji.
- their clan/gang is super powerful, the twins you can guess are Maki and Mai, and Sukuna (the new head of one of the three big families that control the large part of the area, the head of the Kamo gang) had just kidnapped their son, even if he did happen to barge in.
- Megumi’s been friends w Yuuji since they were kids but they never shared that.
- they met bc they were fighting bc yuuji was taught to fight ppl who give them looks (Sukuna wanted him to protect the family name no matter what, and megumi just had that face… and when they realized that they were part of the other side they had to come to extremes before realizing they were different from their families.
- they knocked each other out senseless and somehow one was still alive, megumi sat with yuuji while he regained consciousness and they started to talk more. Battered and bloodied but Yuuji finding the humor in it while Megumi thinks enough to like his character and realizes he’s just a big strong idiot.
- Maki and Mai are close, as sisters should be and they both have their loves (nobara and momo) and we all have to go team up with the gojo clan in order to make sure this trade off is safe and megumi and yuuji aren’t dead
- because now yuuji is with you at the toji clan too, it was supposed to be just you getting captured and then yuuji leaves to live his own life but now he’s in front of toji saying it was his fault that megumi’s now with his brother (sukuna)
- Yuuji explains that he and his son were friends since childhood, he says everything and everyone's on edge bc toji does what he wants, whenever, whatever, really anything for money.
- He says he knows he doesn’t have money, but the only thing he does have was something they both risked their lives for, so toji gets curious and wants to try you out.
- Toji fucks you senseless, making you think the train ran on you were more merciful. He was trying every hole, every position, just dressing you up and doing whatever he could with you, you were actually at your limit with him, enough to bring you back enough to start fighting again. You were getting sick of it, actually you think you were getting sick.
His inconsideration was on par with Sukuna's, though Sukuna cared more about his new objects while Toji wants them to know their place and to leave when he tells them to. He had to know why they would do all that for you//how did you survive so long in that clan he just has to see how durable you are and he’s LOVING IT.
- He asks you what you’ve been through and you don’t respond so he hits you again and again but you don’t cry so he does it AGAIN and you flinch enough to stop him, and start taking off his pants. His only response was "e’s like "Oh so they already trained you."
- You suck his dick and he pulls you up to kiss him, by your neck and places you on his dick and fucks you in the air, using gravity to its full advantage, that was the start of it all before the days of relentless attention and use, you were more sore than any of them have put you in. The hitting, cuts, just the amount of violence he's integrated into your sessions felt like training again, but worse.
- He’s wondering if he could keep you as his slut but remembered that it would be stupid to start a war when his kid couldn’t keep it in his pants. He blames Megumi for having a cold heart compared to his father's icy one.
- Toji makes up his mind to help and plans to betray/kill the sukuna clan when they get megumi back bc he doesn’t care but doesn’t say that.
-He plans a meeting with the other clan the top three have been fighting over the position of this location for years and now and ofc they’re all on edge.
- Gojo comes to the meeting with his clan, they’re not worried bc they know some of their clan can befriend some of the others involved. No ones been dead so they have some sort of unspoken treaty to leave each other alone but they never asked much from the other ever.
- Gojo settles down with his group, smug and tired bc everyone needs them to fix other peoples' problems for them. The community relied on the Gojo Clan to protect them when they also work with the Kamo and Zenin gangs, the people outside are just as gullible. He sits down and asks what could big ol Toji need from him,
- “It’s Megumi”
- Gojo drops his smile. Their other unspoken alliance was when Megumi was beaten up at a really young age bc of his status and itadori happened to be there too (same elementary school). Gojo beats the fuck out of the people who targeted the kids/second to heir the clans, and left, but Megumi finds him and asks why would he help them.
- Gojo said he can’t have his competition get angry, his people are at stake. (referencing to the shifting power in-between the gangs that they didn't know about yet, and that his person was leaving his clan to join the other, he didn't know why he was doing anything anymore at that point but he couldn't let more powerless powerful children get hated on.) Megumi says thank you and takes Itadori back near his gang before disappearing back to his clan.
- Gojo actually has been in contact with his friend who's joined the other clan. That's how he knows what's usually going on with them to keep them rangled up and behaving as much as they could to not cause trouble or cause attention to groups like theirs.
Gojo and Geto were very young when they met, and since their lives were everything but normal, they were given the chance to take in more young bodies to add to their clan. They raised them together, but geto left.
Gojo begged for days for him to reconsider, they day he left he was inconsolable, especially since he took the twins too. Geto couldn't separate the girls, but he could separate himself from Gojo, in his head it's to help Gojo in the future because of the power he'll have.
Gojo didn't care about that, he didn't want help he just wanted Geto. That was all he needed, he had decided. He could have ruled the world and done it confidently if he had Geto by his side, but things don't go through when you're young, and now you're about to catch as many years he hadn't been able to get out.
- He's not nice at all when you're under his care. With Geto leaving at a critical age in learning, his feelings had been all over the place. He was completely disordered, his goals and morals and everything went awry, with the years he couldn't get himself out of the timestamp of when he knew happiness.
- So he asks you about Geto, his best friend, the only one that could make him feel real again. The one person who didn't do things for him because of his name and status, and yet left with the excuse of protecting Gojo from future evil. It was enough to drive the strongest insane.
- He asks you everything by torture, not too physical that anyone can see. WHen trading you back you should at least look and act like you're in the same condition, if not better than what you were when they traded you off. Just anything that Toji didn't already give you, Gojo would have mindless enjoyment from digging his fingers into the fatter parts of your belly, legs, and forearms.
- He’s only doing this to see Geto again. He just wants to pass the time until he can finally feel good again. He's strong, he's smart, he's beautiful, when would life be good to him instead of him making everyone else's lives better just by being there. It made him coky, it made him secretly weak willed to his own desires, so his processing was different than most.
- He asks u what he looked like and everything about him while fucking you. it was the closest he’s got rn. "I don't know's" made him reel back more, his strikes becoming almost boneshaking and shattering. He was making Toji seem gentle. Now that something he cares about is just a memory away, he just couldn't stop himself.
-You were so close to him, even if you never spoke to him, even if you never saw him in the maybe month you were staying at the Pink haired clan. But his aura seemed to have darkened when you mentioned twins. There were just so many either of you could have known but it just seemed to rile him up more. Seriously you would need a doctor and healing time after this. You couldn't let that happen again.
-There was nothing else to take from it, it was a hell you would only wish for the person already committing it. It made you miss the tenderness of Sukuna and the warmth of Toji, it didn't matter what they did or how you got there, anything sounded better than Gojo being without his favorite things. And you were barely part of it.
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chokenaine · 3 days
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IZUKU MIDORIYA | WORST CASE SCENAIRO - THE HOOSIERS
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fluff, friends to lovers (?), possible occ izuku midoryia?, not beta read, happy ending(?). gender neutral! reader
“cmon (name), hurry it up!” izuku shouted as he grabbed your hand, dragging you along. izuku had invited you to go with him to an amusement park, originally you didnt want to go at all since you rather be at home in bed doing absolutely nothing but after thinking about it you decided to finally agree, and izuku was absolutely pulling off walls when you told him.
you and izuku had been friends since you both were little, he was a bit of a sky yet a social butterfly in his own special ways meanwhile, you were very much not a social butterfly and rather be alone.
as you guys made it into the amusement park, laughter of children and joyful screams could be heard, the smell of popcorn and sweets filled your scent . It was a bit crowded but that didnt bother izuku one bit.
“im going to make this the best day for you, i promise (name)!” izuku smiled as he stared into your eyes with determination, “sure, whatever you say deku..” you mumbled as you yawned. he began to drag you into different rides, izuku would crack jokes while you both waited in line which surprisingly never fail to make you crack a smile or a soft laugh.
you and izuku began to get hungry, izuku brought you a candy apple which was massive so you both took turns biting into the sweet treat passing it back and forth as you guys looked around the park. you both quickly finished the treat and went onto a rollercoaster and of course izuku threw up afterwards.
“gosh.. maybe i should have waited a bit,” he gagged as you patted his back “before getting onto the ride..” causing the both of you to laugh, “well i did tell you to wait, nerd but you just don't listen” rolling your eyes playfully.
“Im going to freshen up, kay? wait for me!” he quickly went into the restrooms, you waited out as you began to wonder.. you never really fitted in you were labeled as a ‘loner’ or ‘weirdo’ since whenever anyone ever tried speaking to you, you never replied until the one and only izuku midoriya came into your life and brighted everything up.
izuku always saw the bright side of everything even when things were going downhill for him. while you could never see past the worst case scenario, he never gave up on you and continued trying to make you laugh or smile at his jokes,ect..
izuku finally exited the restroom and saw the low on your face, it was clear to him you were deep in thought, “is (name) thereee?” he waved his hand in front of your face which caused you to slip back into reality. “hey deku..” you smiled, you hadn't realized a tears was flowing down your face. “ohmygod! are you okay?!” he cupped your face as he whipped away the tears.
“yeah yeah im fine,dork” you giggled at his worried expression “don't worry just needed to shed some tears” izuku pouted “dont worry me out like that!” you and izuku continued your day as it was until the sun began to set and the park was beginning to close.
“I hate to say it… but i had a lot of fun today” you felt embarrassed, “yes! a win for the hero!” he smiled wildly, god he was cute.. without thinking you placed a small kiss onto his lips, his eyes wild and face flushed. “umm…ill see you tomorrow..at school! bye deku!!” you began to run as you stumbled on your feet waving at him with a flustered face.
izuku touched his lips with the tip of his fingers as he smiled softly..” i love you, (name)..” he whispered gently as he watched you disappear..
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nataliesfirefly · 3 days
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chapter 3 - the truce
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a/n: omg i am so sorry for not uploading sooner!!! may was so chaotic with finals and everything. i sincerely apologize for taking so long to write this chapter! i dont know if anyone still cares about this series or wants to read it, but im still going to post this just in case some of you still enjoy it :)) love yall so much and again i apologize for the wait 🤍🤍
chapter warnings: slight language
wc: 4k
series masterlist
You make your way to English class hastily, the cold wind almost slicing through your skin and bones. November weather in London has always been cruel, but you can’t remember the last time it was this freezing. You look down at your shoes as you walk, trying to save your face from the harsh, burning gusts. If it’s going to be in the negative temperatures, some snow would be nice.
You eventually reach the classroom and swing open the door, shuffling inside. You sigh with dread, knowing today is the day you’re going to be assigned your partner for the essay. You’d much rather be cozied up in your dorm room with a mug of hot tea, listening to your favorite classical music pieces while reading a non-assigned book.
“Good morning,” Mrs. Chasteen greets you as you walk to your seat. “Are you quite alright?” You pause at her words and raise an eyebrow. “Yes, miss. Why do you ask?” You reply, confused. “Oh. No reason,” She waves a hand dismissively and you decide not to question it as you venture to your seat.
You sit next to Magdalena, a new accquaintance you’ve made in this class. “Is something off about me? Like, my face?” You ask her as you set your things down. “Your cheeks are just very rosy. And your nose,” She giggles and covers her mouth, her green eyes twinkling with amusement. “Oh. It’s just the cold,” You sigh. This was a common occurrence for you.
“Didn’t know Rudolph was in our class,” Someone mutters as they pass by. You glance up and see Farleigh glancing back at you with a smirk. You roll your eyes and groan. “He’s funny,” Magdalena remarks.
You turn to her. “Excuse me?” It comes out harsher than you expected it to, and her eyes widen. “Sorry. I mean… he’s… annoying..?” She says it almost like a question while trying to bite back a grin, but you can see it clearly. “Just because you hate him doesn’t mean I have to,” She points a finger at you. You nod. “Fair point. Sorry, Lena.” You pat her shoulder and she smiles. “No worries.”
“Alright, is everyone settled?” Mrs. Chasteen’s voice drags your attention back to the front of the room. A few quiet agreements echo throughout the room, meaning it’s unfortunately time to start the lesson.
Towards the end of class, Mrs. Chasteen stands up to announce something.
“So, with our first term coming to an end soon, it’s time for you to begin your essays. I’m expecting university level quality, and some very thought-provoking writing. I know you all can do it, just put your minds to it, and trust yourselves. Now, just because I’m giving you a partner does not mean you can slack off. You must do your equal parts of work,” She warns, already knowing the work ethics of some of the people in this class.
“I chose each of your partners for a reason. I think I know you all well enough by now, and I believe you are going to work well with whoever I paired you with.” She explains. You glance over at Magdalena with a smile and raised eyebrows. Mrs. Chasteen likes you, you think, so perhaps she paired you with Lena, since it’s obvious you two have become close.
“Alright.” She walks to her desk and grabs a piece of paper with the pairs written down. “Fiona and Oscar,” She calls out. You hear some mutters and hums and shuffling of your classmates. “Mason and Henry,” She says.
She continues calling out names, and you think you’re going to die from the anticipation. It seems like she’s saving your name for last on purpose. She hasn’t called Lena yet, though, so perhaps there is still hope.
“Magdalena and…” She pauses and squints at the paper. You tightly cross your fingers under the desk. “Olivia.” You turn to Lena quickly. She looks at you with a confused expression and shrugs. Mrs. Chasteen hates you, probably.
Suddenly you hear your name and your attention peaks. You whip back around to face the front, watching your teacher closely. “...and Farleigh.”
You swear your heart drops to your stomach. Your eyes widen and you blink, desperately trying to wake yourself up as if this is only a bad dream. In fact, now that you think of it, you genuinely believe you’ve had a nightmare about this before. Having to work with Farleigh on a project. A project that is basically worth your entire grade this term. Magdalena gasps quietly and then giggles, nudging you. “Oh my God,” She whispers. Of course she finds this funny.
“And that’s all. The essay is due December 15th, I will give you the prompts tomorrow. You are dismissed.” You immediately shoot up from your seat, seemingly at the same time as Farleigh, speedily walking up to Mrs. Chasteen’s desk, trying to beat him there. But it’s no use, as you both arrive there at the same time.
“Miss, is there any way I could switch partners?” You quickly blurt out before he can get a chance to talk, while still trying to remain polite. She looks at you with a surprised expression.
“I can’t do this essay with him.” You glance over at Farleigh who looks offended. “I can’t do this essay with her!” He exclaims. “Alright, alright, you two. Calm down. Why don’t you both have a seat?” She nods towards the two chairs positioned in front of her desk.
You exchange glances before obeying and sitting down. She sits down in her own chair across from the two of you, adjusting her glasses and leaning forward.
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I had paired you two together for a reason?” She quirks an eyebrow and you have to resist the temptation to roll your eyes.
“I have noticed that there seems to be some sort of… rivalry or.. tension between you. However, I believe you two can work together and write something beautiful, once you put your feelings aside. If you both desire to go to Oxford, this is a skill you must learn. You must be agreeable, and able to adapt to new situations and people. Even if you do not prefer their company.” Mrs. Chasteen explains matter-of-factly.
“I’m not doing this because I dislike you. I’m doing it because you are two of my favorite students.” She winks and stands up. You’ve won, but at what cost? You and Farleigh stand shortly after, following suit. “Now, I think you’d ought to get to your next classes.”
“This absolutely sucks,” He groans as you both trudge across the courtyard, as you have both done everyday since the first day of school when he offered you his umbrella. It’s like a tradition, although he’s not the preferred person you’d like to be walking with right now.
“Yeah, you think?!” You exclaim furiously, raising your voice over the wind. “Did she say we’re going to have to meet outside of class?” He asks, and you turn to glance up at him. “What? Oh my God, that’s even worse!” You slap a hand to your forehead and shake your head.
“I’m not meeting you anywhere,” You tell Farleigh. He stops in his tracks. “It’s not up to us. We have to if we want to get this done. It’s half of our-”
“Yes, I know. Half of our grade. At this point, I’d rather take the zero!” You throw your hands up as you both reach the door to the west wing. He rolls his eyes and holds the door open for you. You angrily bustle past him to escape the freezing cold air.
“Are you serious? It’s really not a big deal. We can get along for the sake of an essay.” The door closes behind you two, leaving both of you alone in the long hallway. You turn around to face him.
“Fine. But we both get equal input for the essay. I know how you are when it comes to group projects,” You narrow your eyes at him and fold your arms, remembering that chaotic astronomy project you had to work on with Farleigh and some other irrelevant people during your tenth year. He was a total control freak and didn’t let you do anything, because he feared you would ‘mess it up.’
“Okay, okay. Deal.” He nods and holds out his hand like it’s some kind of business agreement. Or maybe more like a truce. For now. You reluctantly take his hand and shake it gently. You can’t help but notice how small your hand is compared to his own.
“See you later.” You spin on your heel and head up the stairs quickly to get to biology. Hopefully this whole ordeal doesn’t cause you to be late.
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The next day in class, Mrs. Chasteen assigns each group their prompt. Unfortunately, you now have to sit next to Farleigh. You’ll certainly miss Magdalena’s peaceful company and her ability to not make snarky comments every five seconds.
“Right, so our prompt is…” You drag the slip of paper closer to you to read the words printed. “Discuss revenge in the novel. In what ways is it connected to love? What is the nature of love in the novel, that it can be so closely connected to vengeance?” You read aloud.
“Easy.” Farleigh sighs and leans back in his chair nonchalantly. “Well, then perhaps you would like to enlighten me with some of your ideas?” You turn to him expectantly. “Are you doubting my knowledge?” He asks, clutching a hand to his chest as if to appear offended. “No. Just curious.” You shrug and smile mischeviously, but you know exactly what you’re doing.
“Heathcliff’s unrequited love for Catherine drives his desire for revenge. Their love is self-destructive and all-consuming which leads to Heathcliff’s strong emotions and actions.” He replies. You sit there in silence for a moment, realizing he actually knew what was going on in the novel. You had assumed he had just skimmed through it and Googled a summary.
“Exactly what I was thinking,” You mutter, nodding slowly in agreement. “Great. Sounds like we won’t have any trouble with this essay,” He smiles and pats you on the shoulder firmly. You almost instantly recoil, shifting in your chair and glaring at him. What is it with him and touching you?
“So, when should we meet up to work on it?” You ask. “How about tonight at seven? The library?” Farleigh suggests. “I won’t steal your spot this time,” He says teasingly. “Shut up.” You snap.
“Why did you care so much about that anyway?” He questions. “I’m just…” You trail off, your face reddening. “Superstitious?” He raises his eyebrows and you sigh. “I guess you could say that.” You shrug and look back down at the table.
“Should we get each other’s numbers?” He suddenly asks. Your eyes dart up to his. “What?” You can already feel your face getting hot again, and you don’t even know why. The idea of Farleigh having your number is… frightening. But why are you blushing at the thought of it? And why does he want your number? Could he possibly…
“For the project.” Your expression probably gave too much away, so he had to clarify. “Oh. Right. Yeah, definitely.” You nod a bit aggressively as he fishes his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and handing it to you. Your hands tremble as you take his phone and type in your number. You hand it back to him and pray he didn’t notice your strange behavior. “Thanks,” He mutters.
“You know that Clara girl?” He says. “Yeah, what about her?” Your curiosity peaks as you glance over at him. “She’s been talking to me a lot. Like, she’s barely spoken a sentence to me in the past five years we’ve been at this school. And now she won’t leave me alone,” He says it with that tinge of pride in his voice.
“Okay?” You gesture vaguely. “Well, your friends with her, right?” He lowers his voice and checks around him to make sure no one is eavesdropping. “Yeah…?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Does she ever… you know, talk about me?” He asks. You almost laugh but you stop yourself. “No, she doesn’t.” You bite back a feisty remark. “You are seriously no help whatsoever.” He shakes his head and pinches the space between his eyes.
“Just because a girl starts talking to you more than she usually does, does not mean she likes you.” You tell him, only realizing how untrue that sentence is after you’ve said it. “You just have a huge ego,” You recover quickly after your moment of silence.
“I do not. If anyone does it’s you.” He replies a little too quickly. It goes quiet all of a sudden and you awkwardly look away and out the window. He clears his throat. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” You quietly respond. Sooner or later class is over and you’re free from that awkward moment.
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Later that night you arrive at the library, a few minutes after seven. You walk in and head over to where Farleigh is sitting, conveniently next to your usual spot. You smile at the thought of him remembering where it was and remembering not to take it.
But then you notice there’s someone standing at the side of the table, leaning against the table with their long legs crossed, twirling their lengthy blonde hair. Clara.
You awkwardly walk over and stand there next to Clara, waiting for her to turn and notice you.
“You’re funny,” She giggles right as Farleigh glances up and sees you. She turns, following his line of eyesight and eventually meeting your gaze. “Oh, hello!” She grins brightly. Why is she always so… sociable?
“Hi, Clara.” You step aside, going around her to your side of the table and sitting down. She seems confused. “Oh, are you two-”
“We’re just meeting up for a project,” Farleigh explains. “Oh. The essay for English, right?” To your surprise, she sits on the table, perfectly comfortable. Is Farleigh blushing?
“Yep,” You nod with a sigh, hoping that she’ll take the hint. “That book was honestly so boring. I couldn’t even tell you what it’s actually about.” She laughs like it’s funny. And the worst part is, Farleigh is chuckling along with her.
“We should probably get to work…” You mutter. You make eye contact with Clara and something in her gaze is threatening. But then, the switch flips and she nods, sliding off the table. “Alright. I’ll leave you to it! Have a good night, you two.” She smiles and walks away, and you swear she purposely walks with a swing in her hips.
Farleigh is just staring after her like an idiot. You nudge him harshly. “Farleigh,” You hiss. He startles out of his trance and turns to you. “Ow. What?!” He rubs his arm sarcastically and you roll your eyes.
“See, I think she likes me. You were lying to me.” He whispers. “I didn’t lie to you. I just–” You cut yourself off before you say something embarrassing.
“Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get started on this,” He says, and you both reach down into your bags for your laptops and book copies.
“I’ve never written an essay with someone before.” You mutter. You’re curious as to how this will work; perhaps you both take turns writing paragraphs, or take turns revising and editing. “I can do the introduction. I’m pretty good at those,” Farleigh offers.
“I mean… you could, I guess.” You don’t sound so certain. Introduction paragraphs are your specialty, and if he writes it, you know it wouldn’t be as good as yours. He looks at you with confusion. “What do you mean ‘I guess’?” His thick eyebrows furrow.
“Nothing, it’s only that… well, I’d rather write the introduction.” You explain sheepishly. “What, you think I can’t do it?” He questions. He crosses his arms defensively.
“I never said that. I just think that you should let me do it.” You reply. You can already feel yourself becoming annoyed by him. “Why should I?” He shoots back. “Because– Because..” You can’t think of a good reason. Shit.
“Because?”
Silence.
“Let’s write it together, then.” Ah, yes. A compromise. Something you hate. Of course he would be the one to suggest that.
“Fine.” You huff and fall back into your chair. “We’ll just write it on mine, it will be easier that way.” He moves his laptop in front of him and begins to type. You sit up quickly and squint to see what he’s typing.
Seems good so far. Until–
“Wait. Maybe we should use a different word right there,” You suggest, but it’s not really a suggestion at all. More like an order.
“What’s wrong with intense?” He asks combatively, not bothering to look at you. “I think impassioned would be better. Or passionate, even.” You reply. He lets out a sigh full of exasperation. “You’re so stubborn,” He mutters while shaking his head.
“And you’re such a dick,” Your voice raises a bit too high, gaining a few turned heads and curious glances. “Jesus, okay. I’ll change it.” He whispers, replacing the word with your recommendation.
Your next hour spent in the library consists of hushed arguments and whisper-yelling over who should write what and who comes up with the better phrasing. You knew this couldn’t possibly work out. You’re both too stubborn and aggressive to work together.
You haul your backpack onto your shoulders and push in your chair a bit violently. Farleigh really pissed you off tonight.
“Goodnight…” He watches you with wide eyes. “Night,” You respond shortly as you hurriedly walk to the front doors.
Later that night, you’re sitting at your desk listening to music while doing some homework for your history class. Your phone dings with a notification.
You curiously flip over your phone, peering down at the screen. Unknown number.
“Hey, it’s Farleigh. Should we meet tomorrow evening, same time at my dorm?”
Oh. He hasn’t texted you since you gave him your number, so you haven’t had the chance to save his number. But why at his dorm?
You unlock your phone and begin typing out a response.
“Okay.”
No, too harsh. You hit the backspace button a few times and try again.
“Sure!”
Too energetic. You groan and delete the word once again. Why are you overthinking this so much? It’s just Farleigh.
“Sounds good.” You settle on that and press the send button. Maybe he doesn’t want to meet at the library anymore because of all the strange looks you both received last time.
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You check the time on your phone lockscreen. Seven PM sharp. You take a deep breath and knock on Farleigh’s door, preparing yourself for some more bickering.
The door opens with a slight creaking sound. “Hey,” Farleigh says quietly. The awkwardness sets in and it takes you a moment to come up with a response.
“Hi.” You stand there, waiting for him to step aside to let you in. He stares down at you for a few seconds, but for some reason, it feels like a whole minute.
He opens the door further and makes room for you to enter. You take a few small steps inside and he closes the door behind you. You glance around, taking all the details in. All the dorms here have the same layout, but everyone is free to personalize and decorate however they would like to, within reason.
You would expect the asshole to be sporting a bunch of medals and trophies, but it’s quite the opposite. There’s a few movie posters and postcards (you’re assuming from America) hung neatly on the walls, a small bookshelf with various novels and notebooks, a work desk similar to your own with sheets of paper splayed out and pens scattered about in typical Farleigh fashion, a closet, and a nice potted plant on the windowsill.
“Not bad,” You comment with a teasing smile. “What did you expect?” He laughs softly and rests his hands in his pockets, watching you survey the room. “I thought it would be more messy,” You grin.
“It usually is,” He replies, and then his smile quickly fades as if he just registered what he said. “So you cleaned up just for me? Awww.” You press a hand to your chest and pout your lips in mock flattery. He stutters. “No, I..” Is he getting nervous right now?
You clear your throat. “Anyways. Let’s get to work.” You clap your hands twice for dramatic effect, sitting down on the floor with your legs criss-crossed. Farleigh grabs his laptop and joins you, placing it in between you.
“Sorry about yesterday.” He murmurs so softly you can barely hear it. “Hm?” You decide to be cheeky. If he’s going to apologize, you want to hear it louder than that. “I said sorry. About yesterday. I was being… annoying.” He says it a bit louder this time.
“Annoying is one word for it,” You bite your lip shortly afterwards. You shouldn’t have said that. If you want to get this essay done, you’re going to have to try to get along with him. “I forgive you.” For you, those three words are the hardest words to say. You let out a breath.
“You were being an asshole too, though.” He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows at you. “I- Yeah. I was. Sorry.” Your face reddens and you rub the back of your neck. Why is it suddenly so warm in this room?
“I really think we can do this.” Farleigh’s gaze burns into yours and it’s so hard not to look away. His usual cold and dark stare is replaced by something warmer, kinder. “Me too,” You agree, but your voice comes out sounding a bit odd. You cough slightly. “Sorry.”
“I’ve written down some ideas for the format. Like, what we should write about in each paragraph.” He explains, standing up to grab a notebook from his desk. Wow. Maybe he’s actually going to be useful.
This evening was far more productive than the one before. You two managed to get most of the second paragraph done. And against all odds, there was only one small argument. You were even able to laugh together. There’s still some tension floating around the room, and you’re not sure why it’s there. Not even the usual tension between you two, more like…
Farleigh stands up. “I’d say that was pretty productive.” He stretches and yawns before offering you his hand. You freeze and just stare at it until you realize he’s just trying to help you up. God, why do you keep assuming the wrong things? You reach up for his hand and he pulls you up with a little too much strength, causing you to kind of fall into him. He steadies you with his hands on your waist before quickly removing them as if he’s just touched a hot stove.
“Sorry,” You both blurt out. “It’s okay.” You say casually, although you’re trying to pretend your legs don’t feel like jelly right now.
“So… I guess I’ll see you Monday, then. Unless you want to work on this over the weekend.” He says. You shake your head. “I think since we started early, we’re already pretty far ahead. Let’s just plan for Monday.” He nods at your words and you smile.
“Goodnight, Farleigh,” You head for the door and you can see a slight hesitation in his eyes, like he wants to say something more. But he doesn’t. “Goodnight.”
And with that, you’re headed back to your own dorm, already feeling the effects of exhaustion setting in.
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annakabeybeh · 3 days
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1, 22, 23 for damian!
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
What I like is what I disliked of him at the beggining. He was a brat and an annoying smartass but as he grew he became less annoying and bratty but still smart. I somehow understood where he came from with his attitude. I like that despite being ingrained with the idea of killing as something normal he fought that nature of him. I liked who he became after killing Nobody and to see how he wasn't actually as merciless as he was showing the world. He's imperfect but he's learning to grow to be a better person. I still dislike his despiction in Teen Titans (both issues but I understand where the second team came from. From his guilt and pain after Alfred and Dick). Maybe I'm just biased because he's my favorite.
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?
I like to read about things that won't happen in the main story/continuity. Whereas only frienship with other characters or romantic relationships but also I like to see how other people think of him or what he could do and become. I haven't read many fics as for now. I've been into Damian for a month and half only.
For dislikes it would be usually into specifics in my liking. Like Omegaverse I cannot see Damian as an Omega as many does but at the same... I dont mind reading it as such. I'm easy.
23. Favorite picture of this character?
This is when I say he's such a cutie pie. But it's hard to decide tbh. I just love many pics of him.
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evansboyfriend · 2 days
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am i the only person who doesn't see buck as a people pleaser?
i see him as caring and attentive and someone who goes the extra mile to help the people he loves. he's someone you can rely on to be there when you need them.
people pleasing is a very specific trauma response behaviour that essentially means ignoring your own wants and needs, prioritising others over yourself, making yourself smaller, trying to keep the peace, not rock the boat.
that's not the buck who quit his job when he was desked. who sued the LAFD to get his job back. the guy who told the newbie "you're my problem" and ripped off bosko's temporary label from his designated shelf. or how about when his relationship with ali ended because she couldn't handle his risky job, and buck wasn't willing to compromise on it? when he told taylor kelly that they can wipe the slate clean between them but not continue their relationship? when he broke up with natalia because he realised she wasn't really interested in him as an actual person? if he ever displayed this behaviour, might've been with abby, which was a wholly fucked up relationship with buck looking for commitment (maybe for the first time in his life?) with a woman who wasn't looking for anything serious. but even then when he had doubts he talked to bobby about it.
my point is, when buck's upset about something, he doesn't stay quiet about it. he doesn't neglect his own wellbeing and doesn't compromise his peace just to make others happy. he'll go about it in very wrong ways, especially in the earlier seasons when he was still young and hadn't even began unpacking his childhood trauma, and he's matured since then, of course. and I think he had that "people would be better off without me" mentality but i don't think ive seen it since his coma, when he said that being buck is enough. he has grown so much (and i hope he will hold on to his newfound self esteem, i hope nothing will ever make him doubt his own worth).
but even in s7 - when he was bothered and did something about it. again, went about it the wrong ways. but he went to talk to maddie when he hurt eddie, admitted his mistake, made up with him (even though we didnt see it on screen). and then again when he thought he had sabotaged his first date with tommy, he talked to maddie and eddie, and then he reached out to ask for another chance, and invited him to his sister's wedding, insisting tommy should come as his date because he wanted him there (i'm not saying he wouldn't have taken no for an answer, but he knows what he wants and is vocal about it). and - throwing a bachelor party for chimney, who didn't even want one, but buck wanted to do the nice thing for his friend/future BIL and he made a theme around things chimney likes. being there for eddie and christopher but setting his boundaries ("i dont think i can explain this") because he cares about them and wants to help them any way he can.
this doesn't read as people-pleasing behaviour to me. buck is someone who cares so fucking much, no doubt about it, his compassion for others is endless. but he also goes for the things he wants and stands up for himself against things he doesn't tolerate.
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katabay · 7 months
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L'APPEL DU VIDE
okay so. jack! jack. what a collection of guys. the overlap between jack and the beanstalk and jack the giant killer, though. that sure is something! sometimes king arthur is there, which always takes me by surprise.
this. specifically. is an idea I've been kicking around. jack and the beanstalk is not a story I've ever enjoyed, as a kid it was probably my least favorite to read. as an adult, I was INTENSELY fascinated by reading j.g. ballard's the drowned giant. I think about it frequently, and somewhere during a re read of it, I ended up revisiting jack.
combining different versions of jack into one character is not a new concept, but it IS a fun one! the version I've been assembling together plays less with the fun elements of a jack story (and adjacent folklore stories), and focuses more on the potential for tragic elements with the addition of the usual grim and jagged narrative edges that I personally enjoy.
jack with the backstory of the devil and the three golden hairs, only jack doesn't find love, he's TIRED, all he wants to do is go home, but there isn't a home to go back to. what is the point of being born lucky if this is what it gets you? jack the giant killer, only he doesn't want to kill giants, jack who saw a body of a giant when he was a small child and cannot bring himself to do as a king commands. jack, who climbs up the beanstalk and stops halfway to look down. etc.
to go back to the drowned giant real quick, both to set the tone about jack seeing the body of a giant as a youth, and also because I've been haunted and obsessed with this excerpt of it ever since I read it:
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J. G. Ballard, The Drowned Giant
anyway! this was originally like, a two illustration concept to get out of my system. however. I'm halfway through outlining a narrative. so. maybe it will also be several illustrations and also comic.
bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost
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deoidesign · 5 days
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Wait wait wait, I saw in your tags that's Time and Time Again is ending soon? But I've only just found it! (through the animation you did, it and your comic are so well done)
Ah, yeah.
So by "soon" I really mean "sooner than I think I would like" and it feels much sooner to me as the writer than I think it will to you all as the readers.
But, Time and Time Again is pretty much exactly 2/3 of the way through right now. Webtoon gave me the end date before I even finished my first season, and I've been trying to fit in all the things I wanted to get into the story before it ends...
It's why my hiatus has been taking so long, I'm trying to write to get as many moments and as much development as I possibly can, with really limited time! And... also admittedly to prolong how much longer it's sort of "around" in my life.
Because I know once it is over, I'll move on to the next comic! and 3 years just doesn't feel long enough to have Adam and Steve in my life haha
But, yeah. it's getting "close" in a way that it's starting to make me sad. like this time next year it'll probably be over.
It's okay of course, it's the nature of stories that they will end. I'm working really hard to make it satisfying despite Everything, and I'm really proud of everything I've done so far.
And my next comic will be even better for what I've learned here!
So, sorry to everyone, but I promise I'm gonna make it worth it.
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pa-pa-plasma · 10 months
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#polls#tumblr polls#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#believe it or not this isn't actually for like. me needing to know about hiatuses#this is just a sneaky way of finding out. something else#Danny Phantom#;)#on an unrelated note how do you feel about waiting somewhere between 2-9 months for a fic to continue on its original course?#it's probably closer to 2 if i actually do it#i mean the fic would still be updating but it would be. uh. spoiler alert cant say it'd just be 2~ months til the main storyline continues#i've been given the go ahead from someone who knows about it all but i need to know how people feel about rereading#it wouldnt be rereading but there would be an element of things repeating. it would seem to be repeating at first but isnt#oh my.... wait no.... i think i just realized where i got this idea from & it's killing me how i failed to see this sooner#literally listening to the soundtrack & watching all versions of it bro. i'm an ADHD stereotype#anyway the reason i want to know this is that. this part of the fic can be skipped. you dont NEED to read it#but you would need to wait for the rest of the fic to continue if you choose not to read it#it IS kinda important. it's just. A Lot#okay saying it's skippable but also important seems weird but trust me it's all in the name of beating this kid to the ground#''character development'' no. character deterioration#how can i make him better if he isn't super fucked up#he can't have a mental breakdown if he's happy. & i need him to have a mental breakdown#yeah im going the psychological torture route#also this isnt about timeloops btw. it might sound like it but it's not
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kinos-fortress-2 · 6 months
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what does one unfinished fic from like 2022 of a very rareshipp does a to a mf
and also a trashy playlist that got me in my own feelings...
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saturfied · 8 days
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kudos to all kimchay writers!!! y'all are doing a great job🫡👏❤️
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kalofi · 9 months
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zl fic idea
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hii everyone i wrote something yesterday about an au idea i had for zolu and. i thought i'd share it here since its a bit too messy and disjointed in places to post on like. ao3 or something.
4.7k words, warning for temporary major character death but do not worry all will be fixed in due time. i'll put the rest under the cut
ok i have an idea for an au thats like kind of reincarnation but like reality displacement but like. okay just listen.
so we start at laughtale. its a couple years into the future from where we are in canon the strawhats are achieving their dreams luffy is about to find the one piece theres a big battle happening between them and the blackbeard pirates and whoever the fuck else is there idc. the rest of the strawhats are fighting the bb crew while luffy and zoro head off to find the one piece and also end up fighting black beard himself. luffy and zoro atp r like basically a thing but they never talk about it cuz theyre luffy and zoro and they kind of just exist with each other but like. theyre basically in love and everyone knows it. anyway they go off together luffy has the one piece almost in his grasp blackbeard attacks they fight its a big battle blood is shed bones are broken uumm in my mind luffy and zoro are like teaming up against bb bc his devil fruit is lowk broken and op and like ok theres gear5 too but i didnt rly consider that so lets just assume bb’s devil fruit can negate gear5 somehow or luffy exhausts it before bb is fully defeated. 
finally theyre able to knock bb down and hes out and theyre both tired and worn but they DID IT and the one piece is luffys and theyre facing each other grinning ear to ear and zoros saying “you ready, king of the pirates?” and luffy laughs and goes “not just yet zoro, i still gotta-“ and then theres a spear piercing right through his chest. and in the next moment its gone. 
theres a gaping hole through his captain and theres blood, theres so much blood and luffy’s still smiling like he hasnt realized it yet, like it hasnt even registered. zoros ears are ringing and he doesnt know what to make of whats hes seeing because its just not real, it CANT be. 
he looks over luffy’s shoulder and blackbeard is on the ground with his hand outstretched , black energy coiling back into his form and he’s laughing and laughing with bloodstained teeth. hes fucking laughing. one moment zoro is still standing parallel to luffy and the next hes in front of blackbeard and the mans head is rolling through the dirt and gravel, wado dripping crimson, a terrible gap toothed grin still stretching the man’s cheeks. 
zoro is breathing heavy, hes trembling and hes almost mesmerized by the blood pooling around a lacerated neck— then he’s remembering luffy and turning around and calling his name and he can see right through him theres a HOLE right through him and he chokes and stumbles and rushes to his side right as luffy starts to crumple to the floor . catches him and lowers him gently and doesnt know what to say. 
hes still shaking but cant move his mouth and everything is muffled, the sounds from the battle outside are distant and they dont matter but what does he do. what does he do. 
he snaps out of it when luffy gently calls his name. a strong “zoro,” like hes not fazed at all. like there isnt blood soaking into zoros clothes. 
his brain kickstarts and he’s speaking. saying things like “youre ok you’ll be ok” and “choppers right outside i’ll just call him and he’ll fix you right up” and “you always bounce back, right captain?” and hes thinking “dont die please dont fucking die. not now, not when we’re this close please dont fucking die” and hes silently praying to all the gods he doesnt believe in but luffy calls his name again and his mouth clicks shut. luffys saying it’ll be fine, that he had fun. that hes proud to have made it this far with all of them. and those sound a lot like parting words so zoro’s shaking his head no but luffy is still smiling. hes saying that hes glad he had zoro, that he made him happy. hes saying to tell everyone he’s glad they met, that hes glad they all had each other, that he knows theyll be just fine . 
zoro wants to say that luffy should tell that to them himself, when hes wrapped up and recovering and alive but his mouth is glued shut again and he feels that interrupting luffy now would be cursing him to death, like his words are the only thing keeping him tethered here, he just needs to get him to keep talking to stay awake. 
he tries to smile but it comes out ugly and wrong and he feels his lip wobble so he drops it. he settles on rubbing his thumb on luffys shoulder. something to keep him here. 
so he rubs and luffy talks little things until he cant anymore. until his eyes grow dull and his skin loses its warmth and still zoro rubs and he rubs.
thats how law finds them. zoro hunched over a body that should never be as still as it is. and its really no surprise hes there, hes been gunning for the one piece since the time he could captain a ship (or a submarine) but it all feels so wrong. 
zoro either doesnt notice him or doesnt care, but either way the man doesnt acknowledge law until he’s right behind him. its not like law can say anything to announce himself either, not after seeing the state of the body that zoros currently holding. the body that used to be luffy’s. hes still processing it all when the other man(the one whos alive) finally speaks. 
zoro asks if hes got a devil fruit. less of a question and more of a statement, but he should know anyway since theyve spent considerable time together and hes literally seen him use it. law cant unstick his jaw so he hums in affirmation. “and you can switch stuffs’ places?” another hum. “what about time.” 
that makes law pause. “what?” his voice comes out stronger than he feels. 
“what about time? can you switch things in time?” by this point law has awakened his devil fruit or some shit dont sweat the logistics but hes never tried anything of that sort so he kind of stumbles “im not- maybe? ive never attempted-“ zoro interrupts “send me back” 
“what?” 
“send me back so i can fix this. you can do that, right.” it clicks. law would pity zoro if he didnt know any better, instead he just feels mounting despair and resignation. 
he may not be crew, but he knew luffy too, he was allied with the man for fucks sake, and this just feels- wrong. he sighs, a tired, heavy thing. 
“what about your crew?” its useless. zoros as stubborn as his captain, with arguably a handful more screws loose. “it wont matter. they’ll never know because i’ll make sure this doesnt happen.” he still hasnt turned around. law doesnt know what expression hes making and hes sure he never wants to find out. 
hes ready to deny it, cut his losses and head for the one piece himself (hes not heartless, but if he stands here any longer and has to look at. well. he think he might never be able to move again) but then he really thinks about it. could he? would it even be possible? surely this isnt the way things were supposed to go, surely this isnt right. luffys never been one who was supposed to die just like that, like this, law knows that much. he thinks hes going to regret this, but he counts it as one last thank you for everything luffy did for him. 
youre gonna owe me big time strawhat-ya. if i even remember this, that is. 
he puffs a breath “i can try. i cant- promise anything but. i think we both know this,” he makes a vague, weak gesture, “isnt right.” 
zoro doesnt say anything, law didnt expect him to. he just bows his head slightly and law takes that as the acknowledgment it is. 
he brings his hand up, “dont do anything stupid, zoro-ya. or, at least, make it stupid enough to bring him back.” 
he positions his fingers in way so familiar, but the weight of it now is nearly unbearable.
room.
shambles
zoro’s world shatters, differently than before, and then theres nothing.
he wakes up in bed, bleary eyed and a pounding headache assaulting his senses. his alarm clock is going off which only adds to the drumbeat against his eyes. he grumbles and whacks around aimlessly to shut it off. the silence lasts a moment before his eyes fly open and he jolts up, sheets pooling around his waist. luffy. where was he? where was zoro? did the crew find him and take him back to the ship? did law fail? but this didnt look like chopper’s office.
he looks around to find hes in a room hes never seen before in his life, yet he instinctively knows is his. it all feels so wrong, like he doesnt belong in his own skin. he scratches lightly at his arm. he needs to go to work. 
work?
what the fuck is happening. 
its like his mind is at war with itself, one truth trying to dominate over the other. he trained at sensei’s dojo. he aged out of foster care. he was a swordsman, he was the first mate of the strawhat pirates. he didnt go to college, hes working construction. he made a promise, and kuina died. kuina…died. huh. his captain, his luffy, someone he knew so intimately and who knew him in turn. hes never met someone with that name his entire life. he needs to go to work, he needs to find his crew. 
he doesn’t understand what the fuck is happening. 
without his permission his legs stand him right up and he moves confusedly, surely, to the bathroom he didnt know he had. his reflection stares back at him in the mirror and its him, of course it is, he doesnt know why he expected someone else, but hes also…different. he has both function of his eyes, first of all. a scar in the same place as before but its light and healed over and doesnt seem to have blinded him like it once did. his hair is green, sure, but black roots peek out from underneath the familiar shade. hes grown stubble, he should shave. he needs to go to work. 
hes so confused, but his body moves like its been doing this its whole life. as far as zoro knows, it has. 
he continues getting ready, mind still at odds, and makes himself a cup of coffee (in his own kitchen. his own kitchen? the state of it leaves less to be desired. sanji would surely skin him alive) before tucking into his shoes, grabbing his wallet and keys and heading out the door. he seems to live in a single room apartment, and a crummy one at that. his legs move him faster, he has to go to work, he cant be late again (again?).
his car is parked outside the building, he has no fucking clue what it is but he unlocks it all the same and settles in. he feels like he shouldnt be operating this sort of machinery. franky would know better than him how it must work. he starts it up and backs out. trusting his gut to get him where he needs to be. he should be more concerned, he should be frantic and inconsolable, his captain was dead in his arms and now hes? what? going to lay some bricks or some shit? but he finds that part of him dulled in favor of following whatever mundanity this body is pushing him towards. 
uumm whatever whatever he arrives at work eventually i dont know how construction jobs work are there offices or something. idc thats not the point. johnny and yosaku are there and zoro is surprised to see them since, as far as he knows, the last time they were with each other was at arlong park which was years ago for him. but the two greet him like this is a daily occurence, like theyve been working together for years. and zoro thinks, knows, they must have. but this is good, this is great fucking news actually because until now theres been no confirmation if zoro was here alone (wherever “here” is) but now his proof is right in front of him because if johnny and yosaku are here, and they exist the same as from before, then that must mean everyone else is here too right? he clings onto this hope with both hands trembling. 
nami, usopp, the cook and chopper and robin and franky, brook, jinbe and fuck. fuck, luffy. theyve got to be here somewhere, zoro just has to find them. hes not sure if they remember things like he does but hes got to try because they are his as much as he has always been theirs and they should all exist together as it has always been. 
so then yeah he finishes his shift because its what hes ‘supposed’ to do but he doesnt go home. he drives around aimlessly before pulling into a random lot and pulling out his phone (theres no snail attached to it. weird.) he doesnt even know where to begin. hes not usually the one coming up with plans, he just goes where theres blood need to be shed. but no one seems to be in any danger here except for maybe himself, and its not like he has his swords anyway- shit. fuck did he still have wado? he must have right? he knows there was a kuina that existed here too, he knows because he remembers. and she, well she wasnt around anymore so he must have wado. he must. with shaking fingers he pushes that aside for now, though barely. he needs to find luffy, but he wouldnt even know where to start. luffy could probably find the rest of their crew by simply wandering around and happening upon them, thats how he did it before. but zoro has no idea where he’d be, he doesnt even know where he is. nami or robin would be a good bet to at least form a plan, but he wouldnt know how to find them either. 
is there even a coco village here? would robin still be part of baroque works? he needs someone who has a defined location that he could google or something (what the hell is google?). usopp would be at syrup village right? shit. is there even a drum island? these are all too broad, he needs something specific. specific…..a place with an identifiable name, somewhere smaller that would be easier to stake out…
a lightbulb goes off. 
fucking shit he thinks. of course. of fucking course it would come down to the cook. 
he types in “baratie” to his maps and a location pops up, just 27 minutes from where he is now. he hasnt eaten yet either, so he figures thats killing two birds with one stone. he taps the address, backs out of the lot and drives. 
(if it takes him nearly an hour to get there thats nobodys business but his own)
he pulls up to the building about a quarter after 7. it seems packed enough already, but if memory serves him right then that was just par for the course for baratie. he parks, gets out and locks his car, then shoves his hands in his pocket and resigns himself to another oncoming migraine hes sure to get upon interacting with the man hes certain is waiting somewhere inside. 
the tables are full, the host tells him, he slips a 20 from his wallet and suddenly (of course) theyre more than willing to serve him. 
he gets settled in a far and somewhat isolated booth and a waiter comes up to him, but he cuts the man off as hes introducing himself and says “you got a blonde working here? stupid ass side part with a weird eyebrow? goes by sanji” the waiter looks shocked and put off by his rudeness but quickly collects himself and says “we might. depends on whos asking” zoro snorts “just tell him hes got someone who wants to talk to him,” he cringes at this next part, tries to smile but knows it comes off as a sneer. hes not sure if he still has conquerors haki wherever he happens to be now, but he tries to channel that energy the same way he would if he were in battle and says “tell him im a fan.” the waiters eyes widen, in fear or surprise zoros not sure (most likely a mix of both) before he nods and scurries across the floor, weaving in between patrons and coworkers alike until he disappears behind the double doors to the kitchen. 
zoro sits with his arms crossed and skims through the menu out of boredom and impatience. its a couple minutes before he sees a familiar head of blonde hair emerge from across the way. a smile climbs onto his face despite himself. sure, the guy annoyed him to hell and back and their…friendship (if you could really call it that) was a tumultuous one, but it was good to see someone familiar nonetheless. he schools his expression before the blonde can spot him. a few moments pass before hes standing right in front of zoro, his stupid suit primped and pressed as always, and a cautious look on his face. 
“you asked for me?” his tone is the one he only reserves for men who he deems not worth his time. zoro grits his teeth but says “yeah, theres something ive gotta discuss with you.” 
hes never been one for tact, forever blunt unlike his swords. 
sanji quirks a brow “i dont plan on talking about anything with anyone unless theyre a paying customer” zoro feels his eyebrow twitch but grabs his menu nonetheless and points to a random item without looking “i’ll have this then, and whatever booze you got.” sanji leans in to see what hes pointing to before his one visible eye widens and a grin slowly overtakes his previously unaffected face. 
he speaks condescendingly. “wonderful choice sir, coming right up.” before zoro can get another word in he grabs the menu out of his hand, spins on his heel, and marches back to the kitchen. 
zoro clenches his fists and does his best not to grind his teeth into a fine dust. no matter where they are or what displacement in time the fucking curly brow never fails to be absolutely insufferable. at least this way though, zoro knows its him for real. 
its another 20 minutes before the shit cook reemerges from the back with a platter and a mug in his hand. he steps up to zoros table and places the plate and cup down in front of him with a smug look. zoro has no idea what the fuck hes looking at on his plate. he doesnt have time to question it before sanji plops down in the booth seat across from him, disregarding all previous faux-professionale and asking “so what do you want” zoro tears his eyes away from his plate and looks into sanji’s, trying to convey as much emotion, as much urgency as he possibly can. 
“luffy needs us. and we have to find him” whatever the cook was expecting him to say, it definitely wasnt that. the other man regards him more warily now, looking him up and down with a tense frown before replying “i dont know what the hell youre talking about. and i dont appreciate being mocked or having my time wasted” he goes to stand up but zoro grabs his wrist, yanking him back down unceremoniously. 
he blinks before rounding back on zoro, flaring his nostrils in a way zoro knows means hes about to get himself in deep shit “oi, what the fuck do you think youre-“ he doesnt let him finish “im not mocking you. this isnt some stupid prank or whatever youre thinking. and despite how much i would enjoy punching your teeth in right now im not looking for a fight either.” 
the cook still looks affronted but seems to actually be listening. zoro continues “look, i dont know what the fuck is going on. i was at laughtale with you and the others, with luffy, and then i woke up and now im here and i dont know how but this is all wrong. its all wrong but i need to find luffy and fuck, i cant do it alone. i need your help to find him. find everyone.” the blondes eye is wide, but he blinks and its gone. he looks more tired than zoro has ever seen him 
“im not paid enough for this shit. i dont know why i even-“ he looks like hes getting ready to leave again but zoro is desperate at this point so he blurts out whatever he thinks will convince the other man hes not bullshitting.
“we met you here, at the baratie. me and nami and usopp and luffy. luffy busted through one of your walls so your old man punished him by making him wash dishes. i dont, i dont know what luffy said to you, or how he convinced you to join us, but he changed your life like he did mine. we sailed together, and we had each others backs no matter how much we got on each others nerves. you were our cook. i was our swordsman. luffy was our captain and youd do anything to help him, i know you would, same as me. youre a pervert and an asshole and a damn annoyance, but youre strong. i could still kick your ass though” if the cook’s eyebrow could go any higher hes sure itd be clear off his forehead by now. 
“and you- your dream. you wanted to find the all blue.” he stalls there, engine sputtering. zoro doesnt know what else to say, so he snaps his mouth shut. 
the blonde is still gaping at him like a fish, but he mouths the phrase “all blue” like hes been searching for it his whole life, like he always knew but just never had the words. 
he blinks. 
then he blinks again, rapidly. there are tears pooling in his eyes. his mouth flaps for a moment before he seems to finally be able to push out words. 
“you- zoro?” he sounds small. he sounds hopeful. zoro grins. 
“yeah, yeah its me.” sanji stares at him a moment, then looks around, as if hes seeing everything with clear eyes for the very first time. zoro figures he might as well be. 
“holy shit. holy shit.” 
zoro laughs, a rough thing. theres a ball in his throat that he cant seem to dislodge. “nice to have you back, curly brow” sanji’s gaze snaps back to him before he scowls and tries wiping away the tears that are now streaking down his cheeks. its useless though, it seems they cant stop. zoro laughs again at the sorry state of the asshole in front of him, this time more full and genuine. he feels so relieved he doesnt know what to do with himself. 
“yeah yeah, whatever dick head.” sanji grumbles. zoro quiets down, glances away, lets him have his moment. “fuck, mosshead, im still on the clock and you unload all this on me? how the hell am i supposed to finish the rest of my shift?” his words are sharp but he doesnt sound angry at all. in fact, when zoro turns back to look, hes smiling. 
“you remember now though, dont you?” he has to be sure. 
“what does it look like, dumbass? think im tearin’ up cuz of pollen or some shit?” the cook rolls his eye. theyre both silent for a moment, trapped in their own heads, before he speaks up again. “so, what now?” zoro doesnt even have to think before he answers “we find everyone else, obviously.” “well no shit, but how?” zoro glances to the side. “i was hoping youd figure that out” sanji stares before bursting out laughing. zoro scowls and hunches into his shoulders. 
“of course!” sanji cackles “of course your dumbass wouldnt know what to do! you probably just typed in the most recognizable place you could remember and hoped one of us would be there!” zoro doesn’t answer, because yes thats what he fucking did, but it worked didnt it? he doesnt see whats so funny. 
“fuck you.” 
he wants nothing more than to bash that smarmy mouth in, but the familiar egging settles something in his soul. sanji gasps a few breaths before calming down, now wiping tears from his eyes for a completely different reason. 
“alright alright, well lets figure this out then, yeah? we figure out how we got here then we can figure out how to get back right? simple enough” 
zoro nods, “law was-“ he stops. remembers dull eyes and clammy skin and wrong wrong wrong. he shakes his head, “no, no we cant” sanji looks at him confused. 
“we cant go back,” zoro presses, “not until i fix things. i promised i would” the other man seems to pick up on his panic and his mood dampens, becomes more serious. “promised what?” 
zoros never been one to sugarcoat, but now he wishes he could find a way to soften the blow hes about to deal. he inhales, pushes the breath out. says, “luffy died, sanji.” the fact the hes actually using the other mans name seems to fly right over his head in favor of the first part. “what?” zoro huffs, is he really gonna make him say it again? “luffy di-“ sanji interrupts, angry now, fists clenched and whitened from the pressure “i heard what you said. but what do you mean.” 
he doesnt want to have to tell sanji what happened, doesnt want to talk about it at all, wants to slice it up into small enough pieces that it very well may have never existed.
he told law the others wouldn't have to know, that he would make sure of it, but he's realizing now just how unrealistic that is. as much faith as zoro places in his own abilities, he's aware he's only one man.
and, he figures, if there's anyone i can trust enough to share a burden heavy as this with, might as well be the one who's strength i'd count on just as much as my own.
sanji cant help if he doesnt know what went down once they got separated at laughtale, so zoro sets his shoulders, clenches his fists, prepares himself like hes riding into a battle he knows he has no chance of winning—hes the first mate for fucks sake—and resigns himself to filling the other man in on every horrible detail
by the end, the cook looks much the same as zoro feels, pale-faced and shaky. he runs a trembling hand through his hair and clenches his eye shut. “fuck mosshead, thats…” he doesnt bother finishing, and zoro stays silent—already knowing just how much of a shitty situation it is that theyve found themselves in.
(btw the reason sanji was so smug about what zoro randomly chose on the menu is bc its one of their most expensive dishes. even upon regaining his memories he still makes zoro pay it cuz hes an asshole like that. business is business 😁)
uuummm i dont feel like detailing the rest basically my idea is that they work together to try and track down all the members as well as law, since hes also a part of this. i dont know how or when or in what order but i do know finding luffy would come last. so yes its zolu but for a majority of it more in spirit than anything. maybe i can throw in some luffy pov of him living with ace and sabo . he knows something is off but cant place his finger on what. he knows something is missing but hes got his brothers with him so what else could he possibly need? etc etc. you get the idea
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autistic-beshelar · 3 months
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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