#and i'm spending time with my mom this weekend so unfortunately now would be the time for this prediction to come true

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

.

#i'm getting an impending sense of doom that i'm going to be outed as queer soon to my mom #idk why but that's just the feeling i'm getting and usually my Dread Feelings are correct so that's very scary #it also could just be cause this is my first time having a queer partner who isn't long distance and is also out very publicly #like i can't even talk about them in a vague way without outing myself #and i'm spending time with my mom this weekend so unfortunately now would be the time for this prediction to come true #it's not necessarily a life shattering thing but it would be shitty if it did happen #so please pray or manifest or whatever other thing you do that if this does happen then it can go smoothly #cause this could go south real fast #personal

[pierregazly]

1+ 2 = ...4? ꨄ pierre gasly smau

pierre gasly x wife!russell!reader

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of twins, george having a meltdown

in which pierre put his tripod to use and caused two major outcomes, george has a meltdown, and all the fans just want to know what's going on?

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 23,407 others

tagged pierregasly

ynrussell joyeux anniversaire mon amour. three years ago today i married the love of my life and became the official mrs. gasly, so excited to give you your present tonight 🫶🏻

view all 220 comments

username omg babes post the present!!! let us all be jealous

username happy anniversary mom and dad

charles_leclerc 🥳💗

username feel like it was just yesterday that i was jealous out of my mind about their wedding... still jealous tho

pierregasly joyeux anniversaire ma chère, i am the luckiest man in the world

pierregasly can't wait to give your your own present tonight

pierregasly it rhymes with tierod

username TRIPOD PIERRE

username im SCREAMING send this man right to PRISON

georgerussell63 god every time i see anything to do with you two i have to bleach my bloody eyes. happy anniversary you two, im disgusted.

username poor george, him and carmen are so tame compared to these two... i love the polar opposite sibling trope

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, and others

replies

pierregasly i hope the pizza was good ma chérie, and hope it satisfied the little bean's cravings

ynrussell it was delicious... but we kind of want chocolate now too :(

pierregasly ill check ubereats and see what i can do

ynrussell mine and the bean's saviour 🫶🏻

pierregasly

liked by ynrussell, charles_leclerc, alpinef1team, and 209,444 others

tagged alpinef1team

pierregasly unfortunately not the finish we would have liked, the 15 second penalty cost us significantly and i apologize to my team and all our fans for it. will come back bigger and better next time 💪 now time to go and spend some well deserved time off with my family

view all 3,309 comments

username thank you for pushing through and giving us an awesome race to watch pierre!

username loved your helmet this weekend pierre!

username sad that mother ynrussell wasn't here this weekend, but happy to see her in the likes

username 'well deserved time off with my family' do we think that's alluding to something else????

username girl he's obviously talking about his wife and his family??? like what

username ummm sorry he almost always says 'my loved ones' gotta push the pregnancy rumour agenda some more

ynrussell we're all so proud of you pear 🫶🏻 the track limits and penalties are bullshit and i'll be sending a strongly worded letter to whoever costs you anything good

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and others

pierregasly 😂😭🤍

username who is 'we're all' who is the plural that she's referring to omg

username i'm telling y'all... mother is becoming a real mother idc what any of y'all say

pierregasly has posted a story

liked by ynrussell, georgerussell63, and others

ynrussell omf make sure you get extra cheesecake... and extra elcairs, and a few brownies... maybe get a few of everything??? the bean's want them!!!!

pierregasly well if the bean's want them....

username this SCREAMS my wife is pregnant and sent me on a late night snack run omf

username tell us your secret!!!!

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, carmenmmundt, and 46,578 others

tagged pierregasly

ynrussell sorry just have to appreciate how incredibly sexy it is seeing my super sexy amazing husband with kids!!! like how lucky am i!!! can't wait til' you're holding our future babies (my ovaries are exploding, i am crying, it's going to be a long day)

view all 398 comments

username girl this seems a little feral idk

georgerussell63 this is certifiably disgusting. please grow up.

username you know who would post something like this??? a wife expecting a baby who is getting more excited about that baby seeing her husband with kids

username seems legit idk

pierregasly is this your nice way of asking me to pickup more eclairs on the way home?

ynrussell cinnamon buns too?? please?? je t'aime

pierregasly can't wait to hold our future bean's too ma chérie

username pierre as a dad is going to be so sexy, ynrussell is so right??? those babies are going to be beautiful omf

ynrussell and pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63, and 566,493 others

pierregasly october 2024 / gasly thing 1 and gasly thing 2 🐣🚼

view all 4,533 comments

ynrussell omg i'm pregnant???? SURPRISE

ynrussell maman is begging for them to come sooner, her poor back.

username AH I KNEW IT. I CALLED IT. MY HEART.

username THING 1 AND THING 2 AHHHHH

username pierre is gonna be a girl dad AND a boy dad?????? we're so blessed

georgerussell63 excuse me????

georgerussell63 you knocked my sister up????

georgerussell63 i told you to stay away from her??? this is outrageous i am disgusted

pierregasly sorry, tripod's work well.

ynrussell pierre delete this comment rn, i swear to god.

georgerussell63 (i am so excited to meet my baby niece and baby nephew. uncle georgie loves you both so much)

lewishamilton congratulations! roscoe is so excited 🤍

charles_leclerc uncle cha reporting for duty 🫡 congratulations, you two.

georgerussell63 i'd like to emphasize i'm still having a meltdown from when you casually gave me a bottle of gin to announce this. gasly genes should not be casually mixed like this.

username i dont think anyone understands the joy im feeling??? im honoured to be alive to see this

username they're gonna be such amazing parents im literally ????? so excited??????

carmenmmundt has posted a story

liked by ynrussell, pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

replies

ynrussell thank you for the beautiful baby shower, auntie carmen already has spot number 1 🫶🏻

username omg omg omg omg

username this is SO CUTE

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63, and others

replies

username girl u look like ur about to pop (lovingly)

pierregasly my beautiful wife

ynrussell i don't feel very beautiful right now. i feel huge and tired and exhausted.

pierregasly still the most beautiful woman in the world

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, georgerussell63, and 56,439 others

ynrussell things are getting very, very real (not real enough for my back to not hurt, thing 1 and 2 you both are killing me)

view all 165 comments

username this aesthetic is so CUTE (that room is fucking beautiful i want a house tour????)

username they're literally due in like less than 2 months???? pierre is gonna be a dad that soon???? praying for u ynrussell

charles_leclerc im personally demanding compensation for the bruises i have from putting the nursery together

ynrussell shut up cha, you literally offered and begged to be involved

pierregasly yeah shut up cha

alexandrasaintmleux can't wait to see my art piece up in the bébé's room 🫶🏻

ynrussell knew i could always count on you angel

username im so invested in this pregnancy none of you even understand

username starting a poll asap on the babies names omf

ynrussell and pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, roscoelovescoco, and 675,487 others

ynrussell 2024.10.16 / welcome to the world my precious théodore and éloïse. maman and papa love you so much.

view all 5,640 comments

username omg congratulations!!! such beautiful names.

username they share a birthday with charles im crying

lewishamilton congratulations! so beautiful, you are a rockstar ynrussell

charles_leclerc truly the best birthday present i could've asked for. ellie and théo should be so proud of their maman.

pierregasly the happiest day of my life, given to me by the most important woman in my life. thank you for blessing me.

username again i am so invested in this. i am so happy for these two, they're going to be incredible parents.

alpinef1team welcome to the family baby éloïse and baby théodore!

mercedesamg welcome to the family x2

username oh girl the racing teams are gonna FIGHT over these two just you wait

and there she is! after weeks of gasly!twin asks, i finally decided it was time to bring them to life in the realest way i could. i hope you all loved this as much as i loved writing it. thank you to everyone for all the incredible inspiration, and for continuing my obsession.

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios @myloverjk-blog @glow-ish @goldenmclaren @mercunty @success78 @nicolereinara

if you're missing from the taglist, pls dont hesitate to send me a message!!

#pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #f1 x reader #pierre gasly smau #f1 smau #f1 #f1 x you #pierre gasly x you #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 smau #smau #my writing #f1 imagine #pierre gasly imagine

[eufezco]

this is just some random scenario with Steve that came to my mind 🫡

Your mom left for the weekend, so you and your brother Dustin thought it would be a great idea to tell Steve to come over. He was a good friend of you two and he could rent movies for free on Family Video so even better. You opened the door for him, the boy smiling at you, and your legs immediately turning into jelly. You talked to him while Dustin ordered the dinner, and then, you sat on the couch, Steve being in between you and your brother which you thanked because if the movie was too scary you would have a reason to snuggle in Steve's arms. You weren't a big fan of horror movies, much less now since you were already barely sleeping at night. During the movie, Steve threw his arm over your shoulders in a very smooth move so your brother won't notice. Unfortunately, Dustin did notice and gave you two a deadly look, making you and Steve separate.

The movie was scary but not as terrifying as you thought it would be. "I think I'm going to sleep." You announced when the movie finished. You wanted to stay with them and spend some time hearing Steve's stupid work stories, but you also wanted to sleep before they did. It made you feel safer knowing that they both were awake in case something happened. Steve said good night to you with a small smile on his face, thinking about how much he would have loved for you to stay with them a little bit longer.

You walked to your brother's room through the dark hallway of your house, almost running wanting to get where the two boys were sleeping as soon as possible. This terrible nightmare has been haunting you for the past few nights but this time it seemed and felt more real. When you woke up in the middle of the night, you were covered in sweat, paralyzed, feeling your chest going up and down so fast you were starting to feel dizzy. In the middle of all this, you managed to get to your brother's room, thanking the door for not cracking and waking up the two boys. You approached Steve, who was sleeping on a mattress on the floor next to your brother's bed, messy hair covering his face and curled up in the blankets, you almost felt bad for having to wake him up. "Steve?" You murmured and moved him carefully. He hummed in response, probably thinking he was dreaming and turning his back to you. You called his name again shaking him a little more violently this time. You were checking that Dustin was still asleep when Steve finally opened his eyes, rubbing the confusion out of them. "Can you come and sleep with me?" A sleepy Steve nodded. If he was honest, he didn't understand what you just said but he did hear "sleep" and "me", so he was in.

You both got out of Dustin's room. "Are you okay?" He asked you, rubbing his eyes again and passing his hands through his hair. You nodded getting into your bed as you moved and waited for him to lay down with you. "Are you sure?" Steve knew you were lying because he has seen how closely you have walked from him to your room, he could say you were even hiding behind him. He laid down by your side as you both turned to look into each other faces. "I'm scared." You felt ridiculous making that confession. He analyzed your face thanks to the light that came through your window. "Is it because of the movie?" You shook your head. His voice was soft, letting you know that he wasn't judging you. So there's something else, Steve thought. He caressed your cheek, trying to comfort you. "Try to sleep. I will be here, if you need anything just-" You kissed him. Your quivering lips against his firm ones. "Oh, shit." He murmured, you were gonna apologize when Steve smacked his lips to yours.

It was dark and the only thing you could think of was how good Steve's lips felt moving against yours. One of his arms on your neck getting you even closer to him and one of your hands in his hair and your other one resting on his chest. Steve provided your face with little kisses until you both fell asleep, your head still resting on his chest and his arms hugging you tightly. The next morning, Dustin woke up thinking his friend left early for work. Mike and Lucas, arrived at the house ready to go to their Hellfire reunion with Eddie Munson. Before leaving, Dustin decided to check up on you because you never sleep that late and he discovered something he would rather not have seen.

Dustin closed the door again, informing you in a shout that he and Lucas, and Mike were leaving. You and Steve bursted out laughing. You sat on the edge of the bed. "Oh god, what am I gonna tell him now?" You couldn't stop laughing while you thought about the weird conversation that awaited you with your brother later. "Just tell him the truth, we did nothing wrong." Steve whined and hid his face in the crook of your neck, wanting to spend the rest of the morning with you. "Should I tell my brother that I made out with his best friend?" You scaped Steve to look at him in the eyes. "I'm your friend too." You raised your eyebrows. Did that really sound better to him? He thought about it and how awkward that was. "Never mind." Steve hugged you and made you lay down on the bed again. However, you didn't complain. It was the first night you had slept so well since you couldn't remember when and it was also the first time you've kissed Steve, the tension between you two finally snapping into a sweet kiss.

"I have to go now." Steve kissed your forehead as you curled up in your bed and hummed in response to the touch of his lips on your skin. It's been only one night yet your bed felt so empty without him. "I'll see you later." He assured you that you didn't need to get up, he could get to the door by himself since you seemed like you were about to fall asleep again and Steve wanted you to rest. When you were left alone in your room, you heard that ticking sound again. A shiver running down your spine, giving you goosebumps and making you think you were going crazy. You quickly got up from the bed and looked through your window to see if Steve was still around when instead of his car, you saw that big clock again.

#stranger things #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #steve harrington headcanon #stranger things smut #stranger things x reader

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls 2/16, There’s The Rub, The Part Where Paris and Rory Are SuperMegaGay And All Is Right With The World Again, Part 6

Paris just saved Rory's hide from the wrath of Dean (okay, she still got plenty of wrath from Dean, unfortunately, but it could have been a lot worse) and this is why Paris is my favorite Boyfriend, not Jess.

You can read parts 1-5 and all previous episodes here.

Omg, my cynical, cold, black heart can't take this tenderness. I love them so much. Long live PariMore! (finally thought of a ship name! woot!)

One of the most serious crimes commited by one miss AmyShermanPalladino in writing a Year in the Life is not taking advantage of the freedom of Netflix and the much more progressive year of 2016 by having Paris get a divorce at the same time that Rory is lost and adrift in her life and finally put these two idiots together. But no. They still didn't find each other and live happily ever after and Rory is still shacking up with Logan even when it's clear that neither Paris or Rory actually like men.

By golly. This is 2002, they said. It can't be done, they said. And yet, PariMore proved us wrong. They went super duper ultra mega gay. Netflix and Chill gay. Slumber party gay. Super Gay Fanfiction!

"Sort of."

Staaaaaaaaahpppppp!! 😭 We interrupt Super Duper Gay Lesbian Slumber Party and cut to Lorelai and Emily having a night on the town after their spa day. They meet a handsome older gentleman at the bar who offers a dance to Emily. In a shocking turn of events that further proves this episode comes from some alternate dimension where all is right with the world with the exception of Dean Forrester, Lorleai happily becomes her mother's wingwoman after some small initial resistance. Are you ok, Lorelai? Do you feel feverish? You haven't nagged, cockblocked, offered unsolicited advice, or butted into anyone's business in like, a whole 30 minutes. This episode has such great Lorelai and Emily banter, like Emily telling Lorelai "You let me get 60/40'd" and "Hookers eat at bars." "Only if they can't get a table." Terrific! But the handsome gentleman gets a little too close, Emily feels guilty about dancing with him and that puts the kibosh on that and Emily blames Lorelai for making her feel like a cheap floozy. Geez Lorelai, I guess you can't win. You're insufferable when you're being a cockblocking menace to society, but then when you actually do relax a little bit and alllow people do as they please, you get the business. Emily wonders why she can't have what Rory and Lorelai have and I don't know if a deeply fucked up mother daughter relationship forged from a teen pregnancy where the 34 year old mother is still about 15 maturity wise is something you want to aspire to. Rory reading the check in forms at her therapist's office 5 years from now: Form: "Reason for appointment?" Rory: "Hmmm..." Lorelai to Emily at the hotel: Rory and I are best friends, Mom. Best friends first, and mother and daughter second! (Rory in her therapist's office: "Ah. There it is.")

There are so many times Lorelai is this - close to having a breakthrough, where she exhibits a fleeting moment of self awareness then poof, it is gone. She didn't pause to think about the implications behind admitting "I'm my daughter's friend before her mother." She will never learn or grow or change. Oh well, that's our Lorelai!

Listen, stop the feuding, you both get a trophy for Sucking At Parenting. Is there any hope for Rory's spawn to break this generational curse? It would be interesting if Rory's future child turned out to be a boy, because like, I have to wonder what creative and different ways she could manage to fuck up a son? (as with everything I'm sure this exists as a work of fanfiction somewhere). Lorelai thinks spending a whole weekend with her mother was too intense and they should have started with something smaller to patch their relationship and grow closer. What is her idea? No, not therapy. Petty theft. They steal the robes from their hotel room. Yay, mother and daughter bonding and not healing any trauma whatsoever!

No, never. Only if it's a box of cornstarch, a boat, or another woman's husband. Emily enjoys the robe stealing caper, some sarcastic quips are exchanged, and the desperate, aching, deep seated emotional trauma being suffered by both parties is once again shoved down deep deep inside to fester like an infected wound.

She's totally fine you guys. We cut to Rory and Lorelai at the diner the next day where Rory is giving Lorelai the run down of the previous events, presumably minus the super duper mega gay sexual tension between herself and Paris. Lorelai remarks that Paris looked nauseous and tired when she woke up in the morning, which Rory attributes to a sugar overload, but we know better. We know how dehydrating all-night Blockbuster & Chill lesbian makeout slumber parties can be.

Oh right, Rory committed the felony of spending one evening with someone other than Dean so now she "owes" him her time. She is talking about it with a level of excitement in her voice akin to someone who was just asked to scrub a toilet. Of course, there could not be a mention of Dean without a deeply troubling response from Lorelai. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. Surely it will be something like, “Aw honey, he just yelled at you because he loves you” or something.

Eh, close enough.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! It gets worse! There's only a minute left in the episode! How does she do it, folks? She is truly breathtaking. Before we get there, let's enjoy some Literati bliss. Rory is catching on that the whole Food Delivery thing may have been a ruse from Jess to get all up in her bizzzness and almost pries the truth out of Luke, but Jess diverts Luke away from the scene. Jess and Rory then enjoy an incredibly rare, blissful moment together, free of interruptions, alone at the counter. Or so they think.

Sorry I almost called you a naive woodland fairy when I thought you still didn't get that Luke never actually told Jess to bring to food your house and USA here cooked up the whole scheme on his own. It's clearly Jess who's the naive one if he thinks you're actually going to pay for your food! Ha ha!

WAAAAATTT???!!! #AlternateDimensionEpisode #EpisodeFromOuterSpace #TheOneWhereTheGilmoresPayForTheirFood #IsAmyShermanPalladinoOK?

SOMEONE (two someones) are not happy about this budding, adorable relationship, one so stinking cute that you'd have to be sick to try to destroy it. Like someone who would try to stop a bunny and a puppy from cuddling. Gee, wonder who I'm talking about?

Just normal Butthead Business, staring into windows while people are trying to eat. We already know from prior Window-Peeping episodes this doesn't bother Lorelai in the least. Lorelai smiles sweetly at her ShnookyUkkums Dean as if 30 seconds ago she wasn't hearing a story from her daughter about his anger issues for the 400th time. He's also talking in his usual miserable serial killer monotone about "Spending the day with Rory" like he'd rather be sticking his arm into heavy machinery than spend time with her, and again I have to wonder why he is even bothering with her, other than the fact that she's an easy victim and that no other humanoid woman besides Lorelai would ever give this soggy cornflake the time of the day. L: Rory told me everything that happened last night. She feels terrible about it. You shouldn't feel bad. It was a "Freaky unfortunate thing that happens." She continues in her soft, flirty, gentle Talking to Dean voice, "It had nothing to do with Jess coming over, trust me, she did not want him there!" Um. Again, a very weird thing to say about Some Kid to the guy your daughter is dating? Thanks to one of my followers who pointed out that Rory never said this on camera which means Lorelai has now resorted to flat out lying to Dean in order to sabotage her daughter's friendship (and it's still only a friendship) with Jess.

Look alive Butthead. She's salivating. I think she's about to start humping your leg right there in front of Luke's Diner. Don't make me turn the garden hose on you Lorelai. Dean isn't listening or aware he's about to be humped. He's distracted. There's something he's incredibly concerned about. Rory and Jess....they're talking. To each other. In public. Now, Gilmore Girls knows how to do creepy. We've got plenty of stories of people stalking, eavesdropping, hiding in bushes, leaving excessive amounts of messages, Dean existing, yada yada. But this is easily one of the creepiest things to ever happen on this show. It seriously gives me the chilly willies. The eeby jeebies. The eepy creepies. They look like two villains who have joined evil forces to devestate....Lorelai's own freaking daughter.

Picture ID: Lorelai and Dean watching Rory and Jess have an innocent conversation creepily through a window, cementing their status as the villains in this wholesome drama known as Gilmore Girls. *deep shudder*

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 2 #theres the rub #anti dean forester #rory gilmore #emily gilmore #jess mariano #milo ventimiglia #paris geller #PariMore #The DALA #Dean and Lorelai Affair #Lorelai's ShnookyUkkums #Lorelai is the Villain #literati #dala

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Hi! So, headcanons... I was rereading Insect and Pyre and just wondered if Dabi became the god of anything specific? And if he would ever talk to Natsuo, if his brother happened to pass through the forest? "Hey little bro, how you been? Yeah, so I'm a god now, and this is my moth-god boyfriend, who is amazing. Mom and Fumi are fine, btw, in case you haven't heard from them."

Have a fun weekend with your family!

He becomes a god of protection/vengeance! And unfortunately, I can't find the ask right now, but about a year or so after everything goes down, Tomura makes sure that Dabi's family is able to come to the edge of their home and spend time with him. He is very adamant that Dabi do this because he knows how fast mortal lives slip by under the watch of gods, and he wants to make certain that Dabi has as much time with them as possible.

#tanco speaks #ask #asks

[timeoverload]

Yesterday wasn't a very good day for me. I got woken up by a fox screaming in the yard again around 5am. I yelled out my window to scare it away and thankfully it worked. I don't like yelling at them because they are too cute. After that, I couldn't relax so I didn't go back to bed until about 6:30. I slept until noon which is unusual for me but I felt like I needed to do that.

My boss said that she was going to text me yesterday to let me know what is going on but she didn't. I didn't want to text her because I felt like I was annoying her about it on Thursday. I'm guessing she didn't get a chance to meet with the lady from HR either. I think it's so dumb that I have to jump through hoops to get time off. It wasn't this bad before I started specializing in eyes. They also switched to a new program for payroll a few years ago and it has gotten so much worse since then. My boss thinks I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday because I didn't want to tell her what I was doing. I shouldn't have to explain myself. That shouldn't be the only thing I'm allowed to take time off for. I am just so upset about it and I probably won't know until Monday unfortunately. I'm not going to bother her over the weekend about that.

I also was not feeling good all day and I was in a bad mood. My allergies are kicking my ass and I think inhaling rust particles on Thursday contributed to my issues. I love spring but I hate sneezing constantly.

I feel slightly better today. I had to go pick up some allergy medicine this morning because I'm afraid it's going to get bad again. I think I sort of did this to myself because I want to have my window open. It's just so nice out.

I am a little concerned because my grandma texted me last night at 10:30 and told me to call her when I'm not busy. I didn't see it right away but I told her I would call her this afternoon. I wanted to get a couple things done this morning before I did that. I am afraid that she is going to have bad news for me. She usually doesn't text me late at night so I thought that was weird.

I was thinking about my mom a lot yesterday because I realized I haven't heard anything from her in a while. I don't think she has texted me since November. She used to blow up my phone all the time and it was really annoying but at least I knew she was still alive. My grandma is the only person that she is in contact with anymore. I am afraid something happened to her because I couldn't stop having thoughts about her getting hurt before I got that text from my grandma. I don't know where she is or what she is doing. She is not in good health and I'm worried. I can't go see her by myself and I don't think I am going to get another chance anyway. There's nothing I can do about it.

I know my grandma hasn't been doing very well either. She will be 79 this year. She has been having a lot of health problems for a long time and I know she falls all the time. She is so depressed. I wish I could help take care of her like I used to but she's too far away now. She wants to move back here but she can't do it on her own. I think she needs a caregiver and she spends too much time by herself. I know she would be in a better mood if she wasn't alone all the time. I try to talk to her as often as I can and I know my dad calls her sometimes too. She is upset that my brother and sister don't want to talk to her and I feel bad. There's nothing I can do about it because they don't talk to me either. Hopefully she doesn't have something serious going on because I worry a lot. I want to be there for her because she deserves that after taking care of everyone else her whole life.

I need to stop jumping to conclusions and being anxious. I just need to call her and find out what is going on. Maybe she just wants to talk and I'm getting myself worked up for nothing.

Anyway, I think I am going to do that soon. I'm sure I will be on the phone for a while because that's usually what happens when I talk to her. I don't know what I am going to do after that but I will try to enjoy the rest of my day.

I hope that everyone has a good day today. 💖💖💖

#personal

[shipskicksandgiggles]

AHHH 3 of the meaningful gestures prompts us soooo cute and reminds me of ironhusbands and Parkner

oh my god yes. ironhusbands screams this. I hope I did it justice. I'm just having a lot of feelings about partners growing old together don't mind me

(holy shit, me posting twice in a weekend? who am I?)

prompt: Instinctively pressing your hands against your lover's cheek as they passionately rave, only for them to stop talking and gape, completely distracted by the lack of distance. (from this list)

Read Aging Beauty here on ao3

~~~

It was no secret that Tony loved talking about his work. When he got excited, he tended to ramble on and on about his projects until someone stopped him. 

Some people thought it was annoying. That he was a narcissist to be so proud of his work and to want to talk about it. 

Rhodey remembers him doing it when they were still kids, babies compared to the others in their class. He was so small, hands flailing everywhere, almost smacking Rhodey in the face once or twice or even dozens of times because Tony never learned to rein his movements in. 

He came to learn that this was a freedom, an excitement Tony never got to experience at home. His parents expected professionalism from him even before the age of ten. 

It took weeks of Rhodey expressing genuine interest in his work for Tony to show even the slightest amount of enthusiasm about it. 

Almost overnight, there was a change. It was like going from a drizzle to pouring rain and forgetting your umbrella at home. 

Thankfully, Rhodey never minded the rain. 

The older they got, the more complex Tony’s projects got, which meant there was that much more to listen to when he wanted to tell people about it. 

Unfortunately, because they were older, Rhodey wasn’t home with Tony as often as he used to be. Tony ranting on phone calls never quite matched up to the real thing. 

There was a period of time when they were in their 20’s where they almost never saw each other. The few times a year Rhodey was able to take off, he had to choose between going home to see his mom and sister in Philadelphia, or following Tony wherever he was. 

It was never an easy decision, but phone calls started to be his saving grace. He loved listening to Tony talk, and even if he couldn’t be there, he could still hear him. 

Now, they were approaching old age, but Rhodey was with Tony almost all the time. 

Finally. 

It was a long time coming, for them to be able to be together, happy and content in their years, and just get to relax without the pressure of deadlines and constant travel. 

No deadlines meant being able to spend the days however they wanted too. 

That included catching up on lab days. 

Lab days where Tony would talk and talk and talk about his work, and Rhodey was happy to sit and listen. 

“Well first of all, you have to understand that I’m not doing this just to prove that I can. There are real and incredibly valid reasons as for why I’m doing this.”

“Which are?”

“That asshole over at HammerTech thinks he could make an engine that can travel in space better than me.”

“Ah yes. That asshole. Otherwise known as Justin Hammer himself.”

“He doesn’t even do any of his own work, and come on now, even if he did, it’s not like he could beat my work when it comes to engines. He doesn’t even know how solar power works, let alone how to incorporate it into a seamless design that allows it to adapt based on proximity to the sun.”

“So now you’re building a new one just to, what, piss him off?”

“Yes, and I had this idea that since we’re starting to branch out with our space travel, I should make sure that the solar panels can absorb energy from all stars, not just our own sun. Which technically I know most stars have the same sort of gaseous makeup, it’s worth double checking so no one runs out of power in another planetary system, you know?”

“Makes sense. How are you getting the data though?”

“I have Carol and Valkyrie running my errands for me. They turned it into a competition, so I also asked Thor to help.”

“You want to tell me what you have so far?”

That was his ticket in. Even when Tony was clearly aching to talk about a project, that light poke into I want you to tell me all about this is the key to getting Tony to open up. 

Of course, Rhodey was an active listener, adding in his own input, and asking questions when he had them. He was no slouch when it came to engineering, and sometimes, like in times like these, parts of his field were relevant. 

“No, it makes perfect sense. We understand stars as gas and heat. Hydrogen and helium are part of the base makeup of our universe, along with water right? And we assumed that was a constant for a long time because all we had were the bounds of this spiral galaxy, but we can’t make those assumptions anymore.”

“Right, because we don’t know about any elements outside of our system, and what if those new elements affect the energy absorption?”

“So that’s why you sent Thor to ask Asgard’s scholars?”

“And Valkyrie to all the furthest planets she knows about because somehow she knows a lot about those, and Carol to talk to the Skrulls and any Kree allies she has left. That data should give us a better idea of what we need to adjust.”

On and on he went. At some point, he hit his stride, and Rhodey stopped responding entirely, happy to just listen. 

The longer he spoke, the more it seemed like years were disappearing off his face. He seemed younger when he was happy, just talking about the things he loved. 

Rhodey could see him at every age in a moment. At 14 with his hand gestures, erratic yet pointed. At 19 with the pacing. At 30 with the way his jaw never seemed to fully relaxed, always ready to brace for another fight. 

And then now, in their 50s, he could see the lines around his eyes. A mix of stress and joy and the ever present reminder that they were getting older, and he was beautiful. 

When Tony was close enough to him again, having planted his feet on the other side of the table he was sitting at, Rhodey reached up to catch his face in his hand. 

Tony stopped abruptly, staring at him. 

“You didn’t have to stop talking.”

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at you,” Rhodey answered honestly. 

“Why?”

“Can’t I just look at you? You’re very handsome.”

“Thank you, but why?”

“Because I want to. Because your face fascinates me and I like looking at it.”

“What do you like so much about it that it has to interrupt my train of thought?”

“I told you you could keep talking. Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“I like these,” he said, brushing over the freckles scattered over Tony’s cheeks. “You can’t see them unless you get really close, but I like them.”

“And these,” he thumbed at Tony’s lip, “these are stunning. You speak, and the world listens, and sometimes I don’t think you understand the kind of influence you have. Your words bring hope and joy, and I’m honored to listen to you talk about the things that you love.”

“But these are your loveliest feature.” He stood as he spoke, leaning across the desk to press a kiss to the edges of the lines around his eyes. “I’ve known you for so long. I know every single part of you. And these are my favorites. Because it proves that you’ve lived a full life. That you’ve been happy and sad and stressed and you’ve lived, Tony. And you are so beautiful.”

Tony gaped up at him for a moment. “Can I kiss you?”

“Of course,” Rhodey said, already closing the distance between them. 

When they parted, Rhodey removed his hand from Tony’s face. 

“You’re handsome too you know, even if I don’t always say it,” Tony told him. 

He laughed. “Thank you, my love. You can go back to explaining the complexities of Asgardian universities now. I just had to say that.”

“I don’t even remember what I was talking about now, thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome. You were somewhere around graduation and post-undergrad opportunities I think.”

“Right, yeah, so-”

Yeah. This was one of his favorite things.

#ellis writes #ironhusbands #tony stark #james rhodes x tony stark #james rhodes #fluff #established relationship #dragon tag

[triplexdoublex]

I think wats messing me up about this whole thing is that my parents are going through a very similar situation where my mom was the extremely toxic one who cheated, said some extremely horrible lies about my dad and all of that stuff, then they seperated, and my dad got very suicidal and me and my sis had to watch him just spiral down hill and then like a few months later right when he was getting better, my dad let her just walk right back in like nothing happened and she never saw wat she did wrong and coudint understand why everyone was so upset, and now literally won't face any of our family and is only happy when she's spending his money. And I'm not saying this for sympathy or anything but I'm saying this from experience it doesn't matter how old the kid is when they have to sit there and watch their dad become suicidal and depressed over a women (doesn't matter if they are ur real mom, step mom, cousin, aunt, grandmother idc) but if ur kids watches u become suicidal over a women it not only breaks something inside of them but it makes them become extremely angry and not trusting to that said women. And him staying in this very openly toxic very public relationship is very damaging to Casie and I can almost garentee Casie despises Megan and is just waiting for her to leave/mess up again and I can also almost garentee she isint facing his family (the crew) anytime soon. Hell he's already trying to hide it from his other family (est) so I can only imagine how the crew feels about this

TW// domestic violence, blood, death threats, guns

I’m so sorry you had to go through that I unfortunately know exactly how you and Casie must feel. Growing up my step mother was extremely jealous, abusive and manipulative towards my dad even before they got married and it destroyed my relationship with him. She would take off her rings and have me hold them while she went and beat my dad up over the stupidest things like glancing at the Victoria Secret poster ads in the store window while walking by at the mall, she even once accused him of checking ME out that’s how crazy and jealous she was. One time he hurt his back at work and she accused him of “walking like he just had sex” and broke a small wooden baseball bat over his face , took pictures of him all bloody and then showed them to me and was basically like “this is what’s gonna happen if your dad keeps cheating on me.” My dad wasn’t allowed to attend any life events of mine birthdays, graduation, my wedding. She always had to tag along to every weekend visitation or vacation I had with my dad, and would never let my dad buy me things when we were out because he “already pays enough in child support” ( $55 a week 🙄). He worked as a janitor at my school and she made him quit because she thought he flirted with my teacher. She literally made him tell my teacher “I have to quit because I jerk off thinking about you” and she stood there and made sure he said it. At her and my dads wedding she told me “I’m your mother now and I will smack you” because I wouldn’t give two of her friends a ride home. Eventually they thankfully divorced when she cheated and decided she was done with my dad, but not before having 4 more kids and fucking them all up. Even after the divorce she continued to fuck with him and would claim all the kids on her taxes when the agreement was to split it or do every other year. So one time obviously extremely angry my dad said “I’m gonna kill you” purely out of anger and she called the police ( all of who my dad was friends with because he used to be a firefighter— another job she made him quit) and one of my dads own friends had to come to his house and confiscate all his LEGAL hunting guns and bows because “she feared he would use them to kill her” So after all the shit she put him through now he was the bad guy! I fear Megan’s gonna do the same thing to Kells and push him to a breaking point where he either says or does something violent so then she can spin the narrative and play the Amber Heard victim card and be like “see he was really the bad guy all along this is why you should always believe women, this is why I’m such a powerful feminist” 🙄 Sorry for the rant I can just see from experience how badly this can end for him and Casie’s relationship as well as his already tarnished reputation.

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #megan fox

[andypantsx3]

Tw: Misogyny and discourse (pls don't feel obligated to answer this)

Ok soo Andie I feel like you are so good at giving advice and you are just such an amazingly sweet and kind person and I aspire to be like you. That being said I am just stuck in a very uncomfortable situation and I sadly can't talk about this to other ppl close to me (you'll see why).

I have a cousin brother who is staying in the same city as me, because of his Uni he sometimes comes over when he has holidays or on the weekends. There is ofc nothing wrong with that, I like that he can relax here a bit and I get to spend time with him (it's my parents house btw). Everything was fine and well but then sometimes out of nowhere he'll start acting weird (also he's a devoted andrew tate fan so....). He'll just come and say horrible things to me like how I should take care of the house (he says its a girls job to do all the work whereas men should be allowed to laze around) , force me to do his uni work and projects and belittle and humiliate me when I refuse, he lectures me about my weight and calls me a cow, he takes my things without asking and goes through my stuff and messes up my room when I go for my lectures. He's just really nasty to me in general.

My mom doesn't say anything to him and she instead scolds me. She says that he is our guest and I am overreacting. She says he has done nothing to warrant my dislike for him and that I am being very petty and unreasonable even though SHE SEES THINGS HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HER EYES?! We also have this very toxic culture in my family where women are expected to give everything up for men's comfort without complaining and it is our job to bend ourselves backwards to keep the peace in the household by not fighting. She says these are just normal sibling things and brothers are allowed to do all this and I am just being oversensitive.

I really don't know what to do Andie. I definitely don't hate him because he's my brother but I don't know how to handle him or my family without getting distant or fighting with them :(

Hello my love!! This is such a tough situation and I am so sorry you've been put in this spot!! I am sending you all my love and support and hoping your family cleans up its act soon, but it sounds like instead you might be waiting a while!!

I am a very direct problem approacher by nature, so I'm not sure that what I would do would work in this situation!! My first thought is that it's your house, and you can welcome him into it while still establishing boundaries. If I was in this situation, I would probably end up telling my brother once he starts in on one of those behaviors again that he can stop right now and still be welcomed in your house, or he can insist on his course of action and will have to find somewhere else to stay. It's his choice.

In his own house he can have his own rules, but in yours, your feelings and your time and your boundaries are to be respected. I would hope framing it like that gives him the idea that he's welcome in general but with options and consequences to consider, instead of him just feeling like he's allowed to be there and do what he wants. But unfortunately it does sound like this approach would still make waves in your family if he chooses wrongly, so you would have to be prepared for that.

I'm not sure if it's best to take a less direct approach (be aware this is not a strength of mine) by doing his projects so badly he does poorly in school and then feels the need to do them himself, by buying a lock and key for your room so he can't go in it when you're not there, or by keeping your house even dirtier or something so that he doesn't like being there. But again this is like, not my strength so idk how good this recommendation is.

Idk!! This feels like such a bad situation to be in and you might just have to weigh which outcome is the most bearable to you; fighting with your family for some amount of time, or feeling shitty for the amount of time you have to see your brother while he's in university.

(Also if anyone else reading this has been in this situation before or has recommendations, please give them in the replies!! I feel like I'm such a bad problem solver because I only know how to bulldoze!!)

Anyway I just want to reiterate that I feel for you and I hope you are keeping your head up! While not exactly the same as your situation, I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household with a very misogynistic father and so I know all too well the kind of toll gendered standards (and blindness to/deference to male figures) can take on you. I have been told I was basically born with a stick in hand and all I knew how to do was poke the bear, so that's all I can think to do now lol. But regardless of how good or bad my advice is, I am 100% there with you and supporting you with my whole heart!!

I hope you find your way out of this, and I'm happy to chat/let you vent to me if you ever need it!!!!

#ask andie

[boldlyvoid]

I can't wait for more alone together 2 it's made my Christmas break

oh i'm glad!!!! here, this is a little part about the kids and what they're like, get to know them, spencer and reader have the cutest little babies in the world

tw: choking & baby cpr mention, broken arms, general kid shit

“You guys hungry?” She asks as she walks back over to the bed. 

They all nod and scramble to pause their video so they can jump out of bed and race her downstairs. They each get their choice between Eggos, scrambled eggs and cereal, she ends up making them all scrambles and waffles with some cut-up grapes and orange juice. 

They have little conversations with each other that just amaze her, she somehow created 3 amazing little geniuses. Much like her, Atlas was into dinosaurs, he was often asking to go to work with her on weekends and snow days off from school, and he would give anything to dig something up and learn about it all day. He collects rocks, he knows everything about mummies and he plans to work at the Smithsonian one day too. And he probably will, seeing as he has his dad's genius brain and will be able to get a Ph.D. or two by the time he’s 25.  

Noelle is more into learning how things work and move, she loves the cars movie franchise and thus all things with wheels. She’s been spending a lot of time with Henry and Michael, playing Tony Hawk games on the play station which caused them to build a skate ramp in the backyard while Will wasn’t looking and using her as the test dummy. 

She broke her arm in 2 places and the cast comes off next week. 

Luna, on the other hand, wouldn’t be caught dead near a bike or anything that could get her dirty. She’s always been very meticulous, she learned fine motor skills long before she wanted to walk, which wasn’t helpful when babies also love putting things in their mouths... Spencer’s knowledge of CPR came in handy a few times, unfortunately.

Now she’s 4 and her attention to detail is mainly spent on legos which she has learned don’t go in her nose, mouth ears or anything thing that’s not lego branded… She has all the LEGO art pieces that match the art at mom's work, they’re her favourite. She’s also started to draw a lot, she was probably going to be their artist. 

The 3 of them are so incredibly different yet so wondrously alike. They absorb knowledge like a sponge, they respect each other's talk time, and they butt heads often, but they never hate each other. Fights never last long. They end with hugs and apologies and understanding that they’re all learning how to be people and mistakes happen. 

That was always their fear when they became parents. That their kids wouldn’t get along. You see, not having siblings meant that Y/N and Spencer didn’t know what it was like. From what they knew about JJ, she took her sister for granted till it was too late and wishes every day that she still had her around. Then there was Hotch, he loved his brother but they were so different that now they never talk anymore. 

They didn’t want that for their own kids. So seeing them so happy together, they were best friends and co-conspirators, 3 unstoppable forces that could band together within the blink of an eye… How was she going to add a 4th to their already perfect group without it disrupting everything?

#ask #alone togehter #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid

[sometimesrosy]

Hey Rosy, somewhat of a difficult “question”. I live in a smaller country in Europe, where things are getting very difficult. We’re considered a 1st world country, but I digress. My mom has a pretty good high-paying job, still only middle-class, so I was fortunate enough to grow without anything missing, although there were no luxuries and almost no traveling, etc. But, if we felt like eating out on a friday afternoon, we would, for example. Eventually I went to live with my boyfriend at a rented house, and we considered ourselves lucky to have that rent at that time, because prices were already spiking. We were able to maintain a normal lifestyle, no big excesses but we could pay for everything, spend some money on our hobbies, and still save by the end of the month. We even went on a big vacation, although my mom helped a bit there. Fast forward to now and we bought a house, after some insistence from my mom, and because it really was the best thing to do: the house we were in was without contract and price of everything was still raising like crazy. Who knew if we’d stay at the house next month or the landlord would double the rent or kick us out? So, we got ourselves a nice apartment, SUPER EXPENSIVE, but we got it. It absolutely drained us, especially my mom and grandma who paid for the full 10% entrance, otherwise we couldn’t buy it. Rent now, as in, payment to the bank, has been very high, and in June it will be even higher. I don’t think any of us had any idea of how ridiculously expensive everything is now, but we’re having a difficult time, mentally, paying for everything. I have a minimum wage job as I can’t find anything better even with my degree, and my bf gets paid a bit more but is also taxed more, so I ended up bringing more home than him. We have been able to pay for everything, but it’s been impossible to save even if 20€. We finished last month with 5€ in our accounts, and this is because my mom helps us a lot and does most of the grocery shopping. With so much stress, I’ve already went to the hospital with a nervous gastritis, which made me miss work and the cut on my salary was HUGE. I can’t help but feel even more stressed, knowing it’s being hard now and that in June it will get worse. Sometimes I even regret buying this apartment. It’s not even the fact that I can’t do anything else besides paying bills, it’s the fact that buying a 10€ book after 3 months of spending 0 money on anything else but bills and rent might make us not be able to pay the bills for this month, and how guilty I’d feel for that. I’ve been working my butt off, even doing some side jobs, and we still can’t save even if 10€. I feel like I’m living on auto pilot, and I know that, unfortunately, this is how millions of people live. I’m just looking for ways to cope.

I am familiar with this struggle. It's definitely hard, no matter where you live in the world right now. I'm not sure anywhere is stable. I don't feel the us is stable either. Expenses keep going up and wages... aren't.

So there are three different ways you can handle this struggle, I think. Or rather. Three different elements.

Cut expenses. (money going out.) It sounds like you've already done that. But you might want to look into some things you're spending money on that you aren't using. Like streaming subscriptions, or a cheaper phone/internet plan. Renegotiate some of your current bills. Who knows? It might work. Or you might want to buy groceries in bulk or generic instead of brand name. I actually think you SHOULD still allow room for small pleasures, like your book, and cut back on expenses you wouldn't even notice, like brand names, if you can.

Increase income. (money coming in.) I know I know. Your jobs don't pay enough. You can't find a better job. I get that. If that's the case, ok. I understand. Find other ways to bring money in. A job on the weekend. Seasonal work. Freelancing. Monetize a hobby. Maybe even selling some of your stuff. Or stuff you get from thrift stores. Yard sales or internet sales or consignment. Maybe a roommate if you have a guest room. A roommate can offer a lot of relief on that rent stress.

Decrease anxiety. My friend. I know not having money is stressful. It makes you afraid. But. BUT. It's just money. Money is a temporary problem. It flows in and it flows out and sometimes there will be more coming in and sometimes there will be more going out. You are making yourself sick over it. Literally. Think back to some previous times in your life when you were short on funds and realize how you got through it. And how when you got through it, the anxiety went away. Because it's just temporary. It's just money. Find ways to enjoy your life REGARDLESS of money. Stop thinking you can't enjoy your life. If that book is too expensive, go to a used book store. Or trade with your friends. Join a collective. Look online for places where people are giving away free or discounted things. Go to free shows and festivals. Visit the beach or parks to decompress. Find outlets that don't cost money. Romanticize the life you have instead of the life the media wants to sell you.

I am giving this advice based on my life in the states, of course. I don't know what's available to you in your country, so I can only offer suggestions that I know of in this country. I do know that there are freelance jobs paying US dollars that you can work from wherever you are. When I worked for a ghostwriting company, a lot of the other freelancers were in other countries. Maybe you could find some sort of freelance side job using your degree. Maybe you can also get some assistance from your government-- but again I don't know what would be available in your country.

But let yourself breathe. It sucks not having money, I know, but once you figure out some ways to juggle income and expenses, there will be breathing room again.

#rosy answers

[annieintheaair]

Hello Weekend

I honestly can't believe that I finally made it to Friday. This week has been incredibly long and I'm so sleep-deprived that I'd probably be happy with a weekend spent catching up on sleep at this point.

I have mixed feelings about it being Friday. Of course, I'm glad I'm done flying for the week and the rest of my month should be a little easier with only three trips per week, so that's something to look forward to. On the other hand, I became so used to the normal Friday of getting home from work, working my other job, napping, going to yoga at noon, and then loading myself and the dogs into the car to drive up to Todd's for the weekend.

I considered going to Disney World this weekend just to get away and go to a happy place. I went there not long after James and I broke up and it helped to get my mind off of things and feel happy again. After that breakup, I had planned out a whole train trip around the country. I had every intention of taking it but then realized that the last thing I needed right then was to take a trip alone. I felt like I just shouldn't be alone at that time. Instead, I went to Florida to visit my childhood friend, Pat, and we went to Disney.

I couldn't find a dog sitter for this weekend but I also knew that I shouldn't be spending the money right now when I have so many things coming up that cost a lot of money (like moving).

I got home from work around 7:30am today and was able to take a shower, get some work done, and then turn on the TV and fall asleep. When I woke up, Facebook reminded me that I had memories today. One memory was three years ago when I thought about my Grandma and just missed her so much. It's hard to believe that she has been gone so long. In the post, I talked about how when you love someone, you never stop missing them. I finished the post saying:

"Hold those you love close and tell them you love them. Our time here is so limited and our time with those we love is never long enough."

I still believe all of that today. There are lots of people like my Grandma and Dan, who I unfortunately, get to miss indefinitely. All of the people who once served a purpose in your life, random things happen in your day and it just makes you miss them all over again. Somehow, it feels worse to miss someone who is still here. It's almost easier when you know they're gone because they passed away. Missing someone who still exists in this world is incredibly painful.

Another post, from nine years ago, when I first started flying, was about my work trip to Chicago where I got to explore the city and walk 13 miles in one day all by myself because my crew wanted to stay in their rooms and watch Netflix all day. That day, I fell in love with Chicago. I said in the post, "In life, if you don't go alone, you probably won't go at all." My mom commented, "I just know that in this big beautiful world, there is someone waiting to travel with you!"

That Chicago post was NINE years ago! I'm STILL waiting for someone to travel with me. Dear God, I am EXHAUSTED!

I can go back and forth -- like, I'm ok on my own. But then, I keep seeing all of these events happening and fun things to do and I'm like, I really can't do any of those things alone and even if I tried, I don't think I'd enjoy any of it because I would feel lonely. Not having Todd to do all of the fun things with really sucks.

I can't go back in time and I feel like I can't fix anything. In therapy yesterday, Jose encouraged me to try to do the things I enjoy even on my own. We talked about how it's hard for me to do all of those things when everything means driving an hour. It was one thing to do it so I could spend the weekend with Todd but it feels like a lot to do it in one day just because.

When Todd and I were looking for a place together, there was more of a sense of urgency for us to find a place. Since his lease ends in June, we knew we needed to find a place by then. My parents seemed ok with that and so that became the timeline. Now, my mom seems to think that I should stay here forever until they find a buyer because she thinks I no longer have a timeline. Regardless of Todd, and even before we had started looking at places together and I thought I'd be moving on my own (which I am now, again), my timeline was still May/June. I wanted to move before summer when it gets too hot and I really don't think I can handle another summer without a pool.

Jose agreed that I'll feel better and happier once I'm back where I feel like I belong. He encouraged me to tell my parents that I still have that timeline even without Todd. When I tried to tell my mom that last night, she became really mad at me. Coming full circle here, that is exactly how I ended up with an anxious attachment style. When you have an anxious attachment style, your feelings can feel overwhelming and as a child, you learn how to manage them on your own because you feel like, no matter how hard you try to be close to people and how much you want them to understand you and accept your feelings, people treat you like you're too much.

I've been reading the book Secure Love and it made me think about times in my childhood when I felt like I was invisible. When I was 4 I ran with a noodle on my nose and ended up splitting my head open and needing 20 stitches. This was a call for attention. The same thing happened when I jumped off my bunk bed and nearly broke my nose. All these attempts at getting people to notice and care about me and even though I know my parents love me, sometimes when someone yells at me, like how my mom reacted last night, makes me feel like I can never do anything right. In the book, they call this "getting big" because it's how we get people to notice us when we feel ignored.

All these years later, I still can't stand to be ignored. Being ignored makes me feel like I'm being punished and like I can't do or say anything right.

The book I'm reading isn't only an attempt at fixing relationships, but also better understanding myself and those around me. I'm trying to be understanding when I feel ignored because I know that people with an avoidant attachment don't know how to process emotions and sometimes need time. I can't help but feel impatient because I just want to try to fix everything but I'm reading the book and working to become a securely attached person, instead of an anxious one. I just wish someone would notice my efforts and meet me halfway.

Well, I'm off to yoga to hopefully calm my mind and heart.

xoxo

Annie

[girltomboy]

My bf came to visit me last week, and we spent 4 days together. I took time off work specifically for that. It was great to see him again, we visited our friend, went out to celebrate our anniversary, went grocery shopping together, cooked celery soup together, and stayed in. Unfortunately I got a cold 2 days into our little home vacation type thing, and he had to take care of me, but it felt good to have him here. As soon as he got back home he started showing symptoms too, but his wasn't as bad as mine. He said he'd start applying to jobs again when he gets back home, hopefully that happens this week. I'm scared that if he gets a job we won't be able to go on holiday together this summer. He also tried to gaslight me and his mom that he never said he'd study/take exams this semester if he gets a job, which isn't true and I have the texts to prove that. Maybe he's backpedaling now because he's scared, and I get that he's had enough of this university, but he can't go back on his word by lying. Not when he's perpetually stuck in freeze mode like this, just doing nothing at all ever. I'm catastrophizing because I'm tired, haven't had enough food or water today, too much screen time, took a nap until 6pm and I got that awful Sunday feeling anndddd possibly some PMS as well. AND my bf did not call me at all and barely texted me. If I don't go on discord nowadays we don't spend time together at all, and if we do he doesn't talk to me and just sits on his laptop. Like, the weekend just ended and we didn't do anything together, he only called me to say goodnight, how can you even say "I miss you" to me and make that little of an effort to spend time with me? Again, I'm not in the best state rn. But that doesn't make anything I said any less true.

I finished the first season of Six Feet Under today, and watched the first episode of the second one. I love this show, it's deranged and funny and honest. I love that it's old. I'm obsessed with Frances Conroy, and would you believe that when I started watching I didn't imagine that I'd come to love her character so much? She and David have the most interesting arcs so far. I'm so excited to keep watching, I can't believe it's taken me this long, I'm talking over a decade, to decide to watch it.

#i might just go to bed now though

[thschei]

Okay, I was going to make this post the day it happened, but I was already really distraught & felt like typing it all out would just like push me over the edge, and I still had to survive NYE fireworks. I decided to at least wait until after the 1st, but then Life Things kept happening, so I didn't get around to it until now.

My righteous anger has mostly simmered down, so but I think it'll probably still get long, so this'll be another read more post. TW for mentions of animal death, emotional abuse, and declawing

To be 100% super duper crystal clear: I am entirely against declawing; it's unethical and cruel and inhumane. This will become abundantly clear as the post goes on, but I just have seen too many pointless disc hoarse posts filled with people who gleefully, willfully misinterpret posts for any reason to harass people. I'm not going to leave myself open to people who'd send me death threats without even reading the full post. As it is, I'm turning reblogs off bc I don't want my post about my cat dying to be reblogged, but if I need to I can turn anon/asks in general off.

So. At 11PM on the 29th of Dec my cat gets hurt, we get to the vet by 12:30, and by 3AM he died. We got home by 4:30AM and none of us could sleep. We were all still awake at 10AM, and dreading the fact that it was a 3-day weekend and we'd have to face all of it trapped with our thoughts without having our normal day-to-day routines to buffer the first 3 days.

We know a lot of energy vampire type people. Liars, manipulators, people who'd come over to our house just to steal something for funsies, abusers. One of my mom's sisters was an accessory to murder. The same one stole my mom's SSN to open credit cards with. I have more examples, but my family tree bullshit could be its own post. A lot of them are in our family and there's some my mom basically has to keep in contact with due to her job.

So, it's 10AM, and my mom is dreading the 2-5 energy-draining people who consistently text her all day long, no matter what's going on or how busy she is. She can be with a patient who's actively in the process of dying, and they'll just text her "?" repeatedly when she doesn't respond.

She decides to tell these people about our cat dying the night before, in hopes that they'll give her space. Unfortunately, abusers like these people love to violate unsaid boundaries like this, so nothing less than blocking numbers/turning off her phone would work. But it's a step towards being able to say "no" that I've been trying to help her with, so we're going to be proud of her for it.

I don't want to use this person's name because as shitty as they are, they deserve privacy, so I'm going to use her initial.

V . responds . "Oh. My sister is trying to rehome her cat, maybe you can take it?"

So let's go over the timeline again. 11PM on the 29th -> 10AM on the 30th. In less than 12 hours since our cat died, V is trying to shove her sister's cat at us. Please don't try to give her the benefit of the doubt or say she was trying to help us feel better. There's not a single thing this person does that comes without ulterior motives; I've known her since 2015. She goes to strangers' funerals so she can brag about it later. She doesn't feed her own cat wet food, not because she can't afford it, but because she'd rather buy cheap dry food at the dollar store and spend the entire rest of her money on herself, like going on cruises/vacations while I petsit her cat. (And use our own wet food for her cat because it's cruel and fucked up and genuinely a detriment to a cat's health to only feed them dry food). This suggestion was nothing short of an impulsive launch at an opportunity to make her life more convenient, by finding a new home for her sister's cat, so her sister would stop complaining or asking her to take the cat.

My family has always had pets, and I'm the youngest in our house, so by the time I was born, a lot of our pets were already getting old and sick (12-15 for dogs, 20-25 for cats). The first pet that died in my lifetime was our dog Killer, when I was 4. My dad had already died, so I didn't need any lies about going to live on a farm or something. And of course it's always sad, but we've always felt like the best thing you can do to ease that pain is take in a new pet and provide them with a home. You get mutual love and happiness from each other, and day by day it gets easier. But, like, you take in that new pet after maybe a month or so. Not a fucking day.

Before continuing, for some extra context, 2 of our cats already had been from V.

The first one, Joey, she only had for a few months before becoming convinced he was peeing all over the house (hint: it was her 20 yr old cat who had chronic kidney/urinary tract problems from being fed nothing but DRY FOOD FOR 20 YRS @%^#&*^*&@#) and offering him to my mom's sister, who ended up dying a few months after that. (We don't know why or how; coroner declined performing an autopsy.)

We call V and tell her what happened, because we don't know what to do with Joey. Her reaction is like, "Oh... hmm. Huh. That's really a shame. Let me know if you find someone who can take him."

As in, "NOT IT!"

They hang up and my mom stares blankly at her phone screen. I say we should just take him home instead of leaving him in the empty apartment and stressing about finding him a new owner.

Flash forward to December of 2020. V calls my mom crying, saying that her (now ex-)husband thinks their other cat, Smokey, peed on his expensive speakers and is threatening to divorce V unless they find a new home for Smokey. V says all the local shelters are full and when she looked into people who'll temporarily house cats for owners, they charge $200 per day. She says she needs to find Smokey a new home like, now. My mom says we'll help her find someone but V is like, her husband has Smokey locked in a cat carrier and says she won't be let out until they find her a new home, that kind of now. We're like, jesus fucking christ, silently. I mute my mom's phone and say "tell her we'll take her". I'm sure she would've said that anyway, but like, instinctual response to hearing the thing about the cat carrier.

(Btw, he divorced V the next year anyway. I wanted her to be away from him, because he's so abusive and mean. But it's so fucked up that he forced her to get rid of her cat with the threat/ultimatum of divorce, only to follow through with the threat anyway. He could've just divorced her and let her keep her cat!!! She had to deal with the heartbreak of a divorce without the comfort of a cat she spent 9 years with!!! He moved out of state, but every time I think about this, I wish I could go and break his kneecaps.)

The problem to that is that Smokey . is declawed . So she has to be separate from our other cats 24/7 for her own safety. None of our cats are very aggressive or get into "real" fights with each other, but they're still cats, with sharp teeth and claws, with predator instincts, who act on those instincts when they can tell another cat is weaker, whose instinct during a fight with another cat is to swipe at their stomach to disembowel them. That's not something you want to take a chance on. So Smokey is exclusively in my mom's bedroom. Over time, we've started to let her out for 20-30 minutes at a time with supervision, but that's the extent of what we can give her without putting her in danger, and it can't be done while doing chores like taking the trash out or doing the dishes. All because V declawed her fucking cats. (Not Joey, but only because he wasn't with her for very long.)

Okay, with that context established, let's go back to V texting us on Dec 30th.

Of course, we could rehome her to someone who didn't have other pets, but she spent 9 years with V, and has now spent 4 years with us. She's a 13 year old all-grey short-hair cat with a bald patch on her belly and on her front legs and below her ears, so it'd probably take a very long time to find someone who'd pick her over a cute kitten, and even longer stuck in a shelter if they had room. And if we had chosen not to be her permanent home, we would've been keeping her at arms' length the entire time, trying not to get attached.

How would that be fair to Smokey? She deserves a life where she spends as many days possible feeling wanted and loved and safe. That's what I set out to do, and I think I've achieved it as much as I possibly could, around her being declawed. I do love her and want her. And I do keep her safe, obviously. I spend as much time as I can with her; we cuddle, we play, we watch birds, I share food with her (when it's safe for cats, obv). With V she was always hiding under the bed and never meowed, just came out to eat. With us, she never hides, purrs non-stop, and is very very vocal. She gets wet food and treats, she sits in the middle of the bed like she owns the place. She gets to be a cat.

I leave my room to go check on my mom. She relays me the text. I say . "What the fuck is wrong with her? It hasn't even been a day."

I ask, "Is V's sister's cat declawed?"

We, like, talk about what a transparently selfish and inconsiderate person V is. I tell my mom I'm gonna try to sleep, but then I stop in the middle of the room.

It's a balancing act to watch out for 1 declawed cat with our other cats, so it would take more mental energy to strategize life around 2 declawed cats, especially with how often I'm asked to petsit. You have to factor in how much time you can spend out petsitting (I usually spend 5 hours there at a time), time you can spend with the Have Claws group of pets (including a dog), and time you can spend with the No Claws pet.

Despite the... misconceptions about cats being detached and aloof, they want (and need) to spend time with you. They want to cuddle, they want to hang out in the same room, they want to hear your voice, they want to play, they want to snooze in the presence of someone they feel safe around; they love you. Same as with dogs.

My mom says she'll find out.

I get some sleep, then I wake up. My mom tells me that no, V's sister's cat is not declawed; she can't find anyone in the state to do it. That's why she wants to rehome the cat.

",,,, How could anyone say that without being ashamed?"

My mom shrugs. "I don't know. I told her, 'wow, we're sitting here miserable because we wish we had our cat back, and your sister wants to get rid of hers because she can't mutilate it' I don't think she liked that because she stopped texting me back."

We laughed.

Silence is telling, you know? V's 20 year old cat died last year, and my mom and I spent months hoping to god that she wouldn't get a new cat, because we didn't want her to declaw it. She swore up and down she regretted doing it to her other cats and would never do it again, but she's also a liar. So after she did get a new cat, my mom and I have checked to see if she still has claws every time we go over. So far she does... but probably because V can't find anyone to do it either.

But then it stopped being so funny when I realized it was probably only a matter of time before one or both of them crossed state lines to look for a vet who'd do it. We can't exactly steal V's cat, but if we take in her sister's cat, we can save it from happening.

I don't really have a good way to finish this. We'd rather take in a cat off the street or from a shelter than have Three cats that came from the same asshole, but if V's sister does declaw her cat, we'll feel responsible for it happening, even if we know it's not our fault.

I just wanted to post about how fucking insane it is to try to pawn off your (sibling's) cat less than 24 hours after someone's cat died. She's almost 70 and has no mental illnesses; she knows better. She's just an asshole.

#erin talks #text #this is vvvvery long so don't feel obligated to read/don't feel bad if you don't #I just felt like I needed to include all the details/context so no one tries to give V the benefit of the doubt #I have . a complex about ppl reacting to my vent posts by naively suggesting that what others did was an accident or not their fault #that's part of why I spent a Long time not making personal posts

[imightgetbetter]

Hi :)) I haven’t been online a lot recently because of the whole Taylor and Matty thing, and just not wanting to see it lool but I hope things are going good with you <3 I really enjoyed your last fic btw!!!

Anyway I’m in need of some advice, as always 😭

I’m seeing this guy, and it’s somewhat serious (he’s not quite my boyfriend, but we’re going to ignore that fact!) I’m 21, and I still live with my mother. He wants to have a sleepover, and I really want to spend the night, but my mother would literally never let me.

The issue is, I’m planning on lying to her about spending the night with another friend, but really I’m going to spend the night with him. I’m just feeling kinda guilty about it, but like me and her already have a tense relationship; and it’s not like she doesn’t like him — it’s just that she wouldn’t be okay with me spending the night with a guy period.

But like, I’m 21. I’ve never had a sleepover, never gotten in any sort of trouble (incredibly sheltered ngl), I trust him, he knows and RESPECTS my boundaries, and I feel like this is an experience I wanna have.

So the question is, do you think I should do this 😭

🧚🏻‍♀️ always so appreciative of your advice (can I claim you as an older sister lool?)

okay, so unfortunately my relationship with my mom is pretty rough and i fully understand where you're coming from. i live out of my mom's house (and like, half a country away) but she still likes to have a lot of say in what i do and all these things, so it makes things difficult. when my boyfriend slept over for the first time, she made a big deal of it (even though that's not when we even did anything) and it was really embarrassing even though the only person that heard the conversation was me. i was saying, i'm twenty three! i can do what i want! but for whatever reason mothers feel like they have this inexplicable hold over their daughters especially (and even more so if you're the oldest). i have two things here, and take this as an older sister's advice (of course, i'll be your older sister! i actually am one so it's pretty easy for me) from experience and take from it what you will.

there needs to be some relationship boundaries and labels before you spend the night. men (even when they are a good one) can be really testy of boundaries, and you need to have some sort of label on what you're doing before you go and spend the night because lines will blur. as soon as you're in that bed with him, things are going to change. (for instance, my boyfriend and i didn't sleep together the first time he slept over, but i reiterated that so many times before he came and when he was over. it was hard to remain firm though because he's right there and i was and it was like .. well why not). your boundaries are so important and if you aren't sleeping together right away, or until you're in a relationship with this person, i would maybe hold out on sleeping over.

your mother is your mother, i mean, i hate to say this, but if you really want to and you think you can make it work, then do it. the problem with lying is that if you get caught, the consequences are always way worse. for instance, she may hate your man because you lied and she'll think he doesn't respect boundaries or her or whatever. you have to be prepared for the consequences of it. my boyfriend and my mom met like two weeks into our relationship (my mother was in town and she was firm on meeting him even though i was not but the fight wasn't worth it to me) and it actually helped a lot because he charmed the hell out of her and now she likes him and she knows we spend the weekends together and she doesn't bother me. i'm not saying have your mom meet this man so you two can have sleepovers and mess around, but i am saying that if you think she won't absolutely fucking hate his guts if she finds out, then lying wouldn't be so bad. if she's like my mother in any way and would despise him for this, i would say maybe set the relationship boundaries first, then introduce them, then set up a sleepover.

i'm really sorry, i wish my advice was like "go have a sleepover and have sex and lie to your mom and don't worry about the consequences and have a great time!!!!!" but i have a mother that is like yours (from what you've said here) and i really don't want you to have to face the repercussions of if something goes wrong or someone slips up or something cause that would make things way worse. i would also tell your man about it! my boyfriend knows about things with my mom and it's made it way easier for us to communicate when i'm upset over something because he knows that it's not him and you want all these things with him but you're trying to avoid another world war too.

i'm not sure i even helped you here but i really hope i did in some way. i want to hear more about this man. give me the details. how close is he to being your boyfriend? how long have you been seeing each other? what's he like? have you done anything with him??? was it good??? is he respectful???? i want to know everything - big sister style.

#asks #i'm just hanging with my friends online #fairy anon

[legendaryinternetpersona]

A friend of mine who grew up with my ex husband called me tonight. She told me he was always narcissistic, even way back in their teens. And she, matter-of-factly was like "well, you have borderline, of course, because you stayed with him for so long, why else would you?"

I present below, the symptoms of borderline, per helpguide.org, and my commentary on the applicability of same:

The 9 symptoms of BPD

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one's movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

In the past, sure, on the outside it probably looked like a fear of being alone. I have had it very much drilled into me that i am incapable by my well meaning but entirely too anxious mother. During my marriage he would purposely start things, aka drama, when he was feeling bored, including planting seeds of doubt in my head as to his monogamy. So i would freak out and cry and be entertaining (apparently). He was also very hot and cold.

Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

I don't hate anyone. Even now. I feel pity and sorrow for those who are so deluded as to allow themselves to hate. I don't get to that level anymore. I won't allow it. Someone used to trigger me into deep self loathing for fun but i don't let people do that to me anymore. Now I look at myself like a little baby child, trying her best, after having a lot of really terrible stuff happen to her and being cautious about anything like that possibly happening again.

Unclear or shifting self-image. When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don't have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

I used to be a mom. Now I'm not. I never made anything else of myself and he took that one thing away from me. Of course my self image is unstable. I never got the opportunity to build one in the first place, independent of my role as a parent. I've spent my whole life having a whole heap of people who don't actually know me tell me they know me better than i know me and then explaining me to me, near universally incorrectly, and refusing to accept the ego injury of being told they're wrong. As someone who tries to see the wisdom in the words of every fool this gets very tiresome as there are a great many fools in the world. Fools that insist their egos be stroked and their insecurities placated in every interaction.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you're upset. You may impulsively spend money you can't afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

This one is a kinda. But I'm looking at nicotine, delta vapes, and yarn as impulsive and self destructive, even though i can theoretically sell what i make with the yarn, i can't really afford it.

Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.

Does nicotine count as self harm? I feel like it should. Not eating on the regular is another problem that could be considered self harm if you're looking at it from that angle. I haven't wanted to die at all since i determined i couldn't leave my kids to only have him as their parent, and them as their only family. I just need to get clean stable housing of my own, and while that *feels* impossible at times, i know it's not impossible. And it's only when all hope is lost that i could/ would even consider it, and there's *always* hope. As long as there is air in my lungs and in theirs. And once they have passed on, if I remain, I will find another purpose. So, really, this one is not a worry at all.

Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

I don't have this. At all. I have emotions, but I'm not big or scary with them. I don't yell or throw things or carry on like a lunatic. I don't try to keep fights going. I try to resolve them, to determine their root cause and attack the cause so we can avoid future fights. I emote but I don't get riled up with anger unless I'm pushed, repeatedly, and with force. I get scared easily and simply need reassurance that I'm safe and we're all going to remain safe when other's moods are bad, but eventually that passes as I learn to trust the words because the actions line up.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there's a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you're “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

All I ever was was a mother. That's all i was ever good at, and he destroyed that, in me, and then with them. I feel like now that that has been taken from me, i *am* empty. But it's perfectly reasonable and rational for me to feel that way. And I'm working to refill my insides with things that can't be stolen from me. So I had a void...

Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It's important to note that this anger isn't always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.

I don't have this one either. I simply get a bit frustrated when someone who doesn't know me supposes to tell me about myself and misconstrues me, my intentions, my mindset, and my morals and then tells me i am lying when i attempt to correct them. Or when they keep interrupting me over and over to sidetrack or just not listen. These individuals are near universally male in my experience.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others' motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you're outside your own body.

I have very good reasons, grounded solidly in facts, for my distrust of others, especially those in positions of power or authority. I don't lose touch with reality. I am firmly and keenly aware of the here and now. I lose time in social media and books and crochet and tv (when i watch it, which is rare), but that's different. I do have a hard time reading faces, or I have a hard time trusting my interpretations of faces, and thus my instincts. But im working on all of that.

What do you think? I don't think this is me.