#and now that i’ve gotten older and i guess i realize WHY i love it?? er like. i have more reasoning than just “babcia house”

[malusienki]

is it strange i don’t consider the place i live right now home? i mean, it *is* home. but i feel more connected to chicago home than there home…?

#maybe it’s because i’ve spent so many summers at my grandparents’ or because i’ve lived there [essentially] between moves #but just.. augh… #and now that i’ve gotten older and i guess i realize WHY i love it?? er like. i have more reasoning than just “babcia house” #man. it’s so hard to explain my feelings about it so i feel awkward 😭😭😭 #idk i guess something clicked in my head this past summer #especially after just walking miles around the city itself with my dad #i was like.. wait #SIIIIIGHHHH it’s so complicated because i haven’t actually lived there since 2019 but id love to but it’s probably expensive but i could #maybe go to school there???? #AUGH! #sorry. im rambling #too much future stuff it’s too early for that

[coltermorning]

Of Love and Loss Ch. 5 (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur Morgan x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: Needing peace of mind, you search for it in the familiar and find it in the unexpected.

Author’s Notes: Chapter five of this one.

Tags: Arthur Morgan x reader, high honor Arthur Morgan, minor character death, loss of parents, blood and injury, grief/mourning, survivor guilt, strangers to lovers, slow burn, eventual smut, graphic depictions of violence

AO3 Link

~

Of Love and Loss

Five: Fleeting Peace

Word count: 3703

I fear this may be the most foolish thing I’ve gotten myself into to date. The woman, still nameless, is in mourning or grief or both and rarely speaks. Makes me wonder what she was like before all this drama. And here I am, more idiot than guide, leading her toward land unknown by either of us. The blind leading the blind. It’ll be a miracle if we make it out alive.

~

It had been two days, and you still could not stop thinking of that elk, of your father’s words in your ear, of the older man reminding you of your mother. Your mind was running in circles, an endless stretch of memory and reality closing in on each other. The only bit of normalcy to speak of was the return of your appetite.

You had eaten twice since waking on your back in that camp wagon, half whole again, the ability to keep food down born of necessity rather than any sort of want. That had led to your hunger returning, and it burned through you now with a vengeance.

It was night, you and the man had stopped and made camp, and he was cooking meat over the flames of the fire, the smell making you understand why wolves were so drawn to carnage. Your stomach was rumbling with want.

“You want some?” he asked, not even bothering to look up at you. You wished he would—you were sure your hunger was written across your face. But he didn’t, so you were forced to respond.

“Please.”

After cooking it through, he handed you half. You tore into it like a wild animal.

“Glad to see you’re eating again. I was worried this would be a short trip, starting with you starving to death.”

You shot him a glance but kept eating, needing it more than air.

Once you finished, you debated going out to kill something yourself. You were that hungry. But the thought was cut short.

“So. You ever actually been to Nebraska before?” he asked.

“No.” You backtracked, considering. “Once.”

“Which is it?”

“I’ve been once.” If you could call that being. But you didn’t elaborate. He called you on it.

“Well. Ain’t you just full of talk.”

“Always.”

He laughed. The sound drew your attention, nearly startling you. Then you realized what you had said and grew somewhat proud—your old humor finally resurfacing. It gave you the courage to speak a little more.

“My momma got pregnant with me in Nebraska. She and Pa left before they knew, but I guess it counts.”

“I guess it does,” he said. “So you made this journey before, huh?”

“I have,” you said, thinking fondly on your parents so proud to have a child together, wanting to start their lives with no one but you up in the mountains. “Though I can’t say I’ll be much help with directions.”

Arthur smiled this time, a crooked-looking thing. “No, I wouldn’t think so.”

Braving the unsettling feeling you got from talking, you went on. “Have you ever been?”

He reached in his satchel and pulled out a box of cigarettes. “Passed through a couple times. Never stopped long enough to say I’ve really been there.”

“I bet you’ve been all over.”

He stuck a cigarette in his mouth and eyed you. “What makes you say that?”

You shrugged. “Folks you run with. All those wagons.”

He nodded, lighting a match on his boot and bringing it to his mouth, cupping his hand around the flame so the wind wouldn’t catch it.

After he took a long drag, smoke curling up and whipping away, he offered you the box. You waved it away.

“Don’t smoke?”

“Don’t know how.” You said it before thinking better of it, and Arthur’s resulting expression made you wish you had come up with something else. There was a gleam in his eyes, like a boy with a scheme.

“Don’t know how? It ain’t hard.”

You shrugged, cutting off opportunity for him to push. But push he did. He held out the box to you once more. “Take one. It’ll take the edge off.”

You looked away. There was no taking the edge off. Not when the edge was as big as a mountain. A cliff to fall over.

He sat back, stowing them. “Suit yourself.”

The remainder of the night passed quickly. You bundled up in the spare bedroll you’d been given and cut out the cold, cut out everything. You were exhausted. Your side was aching after all the riding. Your whole body was. But that just leant to heavier sleep, which soon came to you quicker than it had in a long time.

You slept the whole night through. You awoke later than usual, though still early. An old habit formed by hard days of work better spent in the mornings.

Sitting up, you took in your surroundings and found Arthur kneeling by the fire. He saw you stir. “Morning. Sun’s up before you this time.”

He was exaggerating about the sun. The morning still had that blue glow to it that only a barely risen sun could make.

You made to stand anyway and sucked in a breath—the pain in your side was going nowhere. You felt your bandages under your layers to make sure they weren’t damp with blood.

“Nigh time you rewrap that anyway,” Arthur said, eyeing your hands.

“It’s fine,” you told him, trying again to stand. This time you managed it, but it must not have been a very impressive show of it. Noticing, Arthur made for you. He stepped into your space, making you retreat into yourself until he lifted your coat from your side, checking your bandages himself like it was any other thing. For some reason, you let him.

“Yeah, I’d say change these.” He stepped back. “Don’t want ‘em getting dirty.”

You stared blankly at him. You had nothing to replace the bandages with.

He gave you an amused look. “Didn’t think I came that unprepared, did you?” He walked over to his horse, pulling out more cloth from his saddle bags. “You make me take you all this way and I’m sure as shit getting you there in one piece,” he said, unraveling the cloth. He brought it over and held it out to you. You took it, glad he didn’t try to do it himself.

Realizing you would have to near abouts undress your torso entirely to rewrap it, you turned away, stepping into the nearby trees. You started shedding layers, each movement pulling on your stitches. You’d never had stitches before. Never been hurt this badly. You suddenly hoped more than anything this man knew what he was doing.

“How long do I have to keep these in?” you called out, finally getting to the bandages.

“The stitches? Depends,” he replied. “Until the skin starts to heal back together. Which in your case may be a while.”

How long was that? You thought to ask but stopped when you got all the wrapping off and saw your injured side again. It was a nasty sight. A giant bruise, black, yellow on the edges. Scraped skin. A jagged red cut with stitches holding it together, nearly six inches long. You could only sit there and look at it a moment, trying your best not to think about how you got it.

“How do you take them out?” you blurted.

“Just cut the knot and pull. Won’t even hurt.”

Like hell it wouldn’t. You had half a mind not to let him near you again.

“How’s it look?” he asked. “Swollen at all?”

Desperate not to look at the wound a second longer, you started wrapping it, not caring if it was green so long as you didn’t have to see it carving up your side.

“No,” you answered. It truthfully wasn’t. A little agitated, but considering the damage, that seemed expected. You probably should have cleaned it a little but used the excuse of there not being any water around.

You finished winding the cloth around your middle, securing it before observing your work. It was shoddy. You let your short chemise back down, and it bunched up where you had tied the bandage off. You let out an annoyed breath, smoothing it over best you could before putting your shirt back on. When you tucked it in, you purposely left it baggy. No need to draw Arthur’s attention, make him feel the need to rewrap it.

You donned your vest and coat, making sure your father’s ledger was still in the inside pocket, and stepped out of the trees.

Arthur turned your way. “You sure it’s fine? You’d tell me if it looked like it was gonna kill you, right?”

You didn’t respond. Even though it didn’t look bad, dying from natural causes didn’t seem like something you could stop. It was a higher hill to climb, one you didn’t care enough to do anything about.

You started making way to your horse when Arthur stopped you with a hand around your wrist. “Right?” he insisted, voice lower. That same commanding voice he had used on the man who had cornered you by the river.

Surprised that he had grabbed you, you yanked your hand away and pushed passed him without a word. It was an odd thing—you didn’t feel fearful like you would if anyone else had grabbed you. You were angry with him. He knew better.

He let out an annoyed groan and a small word that was likely ‘Jesus’ but let you be. And, getting back to the matter at hand, you headed for your horse. You wanted to go on a hunt. The only real hunting you had done since being on your own was the elk hunt, and even that hadn’t been usual enough to sate your desire. You needed the quiet of the land around you, the animals calling out to each other. Nothing else to think on but prey and your father telling you to focus, to breathe out, to shoot. It was peace unlike anything else—something you desperately needed.

You got the spare rifle you had been loaned off your horse, examining it. It was a basic thing. Perfect, really, for its intended job.

“If you’re planning on shooting me with that, I can promise you, I shoot quicker.”

Peace interrupted once more, you closed your eyes and took a breath before turning to Arthur.

“I’m going hunting. Alone.”

“Like hell you are. Feel like getting yourself eaten in the process?”

You narrowed your eyes. “I’ve been hunting for most of my life. I know how to protect myself.”

“I don’t doubt that, but like I said, I’m getting you home in one piece. So I’m coming with you wherever you go. You don’t like it, you shouldn’t have asked me along in the first place.”

“I need…” You couldn’t say it. Not to this stranger. Peace. And how to explain that you could only get it in the woods, surrounded by animals and nothing more.

He waited expectantly, his hands on his gun belt. You huffed a breath, needing him to understand but knowing he wouldn’t. He was too stubborn to give it up.

“Fine,” you said. “You can come. But please stay quiet. I need quiet.”

He quirked an eyebrow but said nothing more.

After taking some ammunition from him for your gun, the two of you left the horses and your small camp behind and set off. You went where sound and sight led you, unfamiliar with the terrain but immediately picking up on a few deer trails. The tall animals usually barreled through the woods in the same places, leaving small tunnels through the trees and low-growing bushes. Even though the tunnels were much less obvious than they would be in winter, you followed them.

Much of hunting was thinking like the animal you chose to stalk. Deer were all instinct, all bursts of speed and subtle power at the slightest noise. Rabbits were less thoughtful but faster still. Anything bigger was normally aggressive, and anything else was not much for hunting. It was a game, a need fulfilled and satisfaction saw through. You found yourself floating along with the feel of it, the first time you hadn’t been weighed down since the fall. Then a loud pop of a stick sounded behind you, and you whipped around.

Arthur stared right at you, almost like he was waiting for you to get onto him for it. Not wanting to make more noise than necessary, you only held a finger up to your mouth to quiet him and continued on.

After enough walking that you reached a place your were sure other humans hadn’t touched in years, you stopped. You knelt and examined the ground, listening hard. There was a lot to stillness. Much more than other hunters realized. So you sat, letting the animals reveal themselves rather than chasing them down.

Ten minutes passed without a thing. Then, slowly, came three deer. They likely smelled you or Arthur, their heads occasionally popping up, their tails twitching. But you stayed still, became the woods around you, waiting for their trust.

They were foraging around, likely searching for food they would need before the snow hit. It made them desperate, and desperation gave way to ill caution. More minutes passed, and they forgot to be afraid of that unknown smell. They walked on far enough that moving your gun to your shoulder wouldn’t be noticed by those round brown eyes. You did so slowly and silently, hardly breathing. You aimed for the doe in the middle, the only one with her side turned to you—the easier shot. You waited a few beats, watching, not rushing. You always used to rush, and your father had called you on it every time. It usually resulted in an unclean kill or spooked game. So you waited, making sure all was in order, hearing your father tell you to be patient before you let out your last breath.

The gun fired, startling the deer and the birds and everything alive. When the deer went down, you weren’t torn apart by it this time. You were proud. You had done everything right, just as he had taught you. A hunt years in the making. You had just never known what the cost of it would be—to be so sure despite being so alone.

“You keep shooting like that, and I’ll start to think you’re some sort of sharpshooter.”

The voice startled you. You were so engaged in what you were doing you’d forgotten the man was there. You turned to him, looking at him without really seeing. Wordlessly, you stood and made for the deer.

Sure enough, it had been a rather impressive shot. The deer hadn’t been close by any means, not to mention the trees spanning the distance between you. You’d hit her right in front of her ears, downing her immediately, just as you had the elk. If it had been a buck, you’d have gone for the heart, but this doe had made it easy on you. You knelt beside her and heard footsteps beside you, then the scraping sound of a knife against leather. You looked up to find Arthur holding his knife out to you. Willingly this time. So different from the elk hunt.

“Thank you,” you managed, taking it from him. You meant it in more ways than one. Despite who he was, talkative and humorous, he had let you be more times than you truly deserved in the short span of the time you knew him.

He didn’t respond, so you got to work.

In an hour, the pair of you were back to your horses with enough meat to last you weeks. Probably the whole trip. Arthur had brought a little of the elk along but left most of it for his people, so this would more than cover you in the meantime. Especially with how cold the weather was turning. That was one thing your mother loved about the snow—meat didn’t go bad in such coldness. Or it took a lot longer to. You silently thanked her for that small knowledge as you packed down your horse.

“May be easier to use one horse to pack,” Arthur said. “We can both ride the other.”

“Not enough meat here,” you said simply. Plus, you didn’t want to ache twice as bad when you were suddenly without a saddle.

“Ain’t you knowledgeable,” he quipped. “How’d you learn all this anyway?”

“Learn what?” You finished with the meat and took some to cook.

“Hunting like that. I thought Hosea was good, but I ain’t ever seen anything like that. You track like a bloodhound.”

Your chest welled with pride. “My father taught me.”

“Well he was a good teacher then.”

You ignored the ‘was’ and went on, happy to brag on him. “He grew up in the country, in the Nebraska plains. He always did want to move to the mountains, but he was already a man of the land before he was even a man. That love of it, that reverence, it made him a good hunter.”

“I’m sure,” Arthur said.

With that, your father’s warm memory running through you, you made for the fire to eat a well-deserved meal.

You were halfway through eating when Arthur asked, “Is that how your father made his living then? Hunting?” It was a curious question, one that made you stare at the man because he said it with such caution. Like he knew better than to be asking it. You wondered why but let it slide. Instead of answering, you tugged the ledger out of your inside pocket and handed it to Arthur.

He fumbled it open, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion over the first few pages. They were where your father had learned his letters, likely scribbled nonsense to Arthur. But he kept flipping and eventually must have reached something he recognized, as he began to read.

You took your last bite of food when he asked, voice full of confusion, “Does this say goat?”

You looked over at him where he sat, poring over the ledger like it was the most interesting thing in the world. You felt pride surge through you once more before getting up to make him show you what he was talking about. “Where?”

He pointed to a spot on a page, and you sat at his side and squinted. The word could have been goat. It could have been a lot of things. Your father had also taken on a peculiar shorthand of his own making that only you and your mother could read. Her more so than you.

“Go back a page.”

Arthur did so, and you spied the date across the top line—May of 1888. The memory made the edge of your mouth tug upward.

“Sure does. That’s the year we had goats. The only year we did. Momma hated them. Here, go back.” He flipped to the page he had asked about, and you pointed to the numbers on the edge of the page. “Some figures for what he sold that month. See the goat line?”

“W…B? Am I reading that right?”

You couldn’t keep your smile at bay now. It was a foreign thing, feeling it stretch across your face. Something you didn’t think you had the strength to do anymore. But you did as you said, “Wolf bait.”

“Wolf bait?” Arthur turned to you, voice full of disbelief. His eyes locked onto you so close that you noticed for the first time how colorful they were. Gemstone green and sea blue. That made you come to your senses, your nerves taking hold. You quickly looked away, though your smile at the memory never quite left.

“Yep.”

“You’re kidding me,” he said. “You fed the goats to wolves?”

You thought of the end line for that year written later in the ledger—the most profitable year your father had ever recorded. You smiled again. “Something like that. They may have gotten loose and…”

Arthur let out a laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just…of all the ridiculous things to make you finally crack a smile,” he said, shaking his head. “I didn’t figure for goddamn goats.”

It was a bit silly, but you suddenly couldn’t keep a straight face. You wondered when the last time that had happened was.

“Then what’s this?” he asked. He pointed to something else in the ledger, and you were swept away from any further thought about happiness or the lack of it.

The pair of you sat together and pored over the pages for what felt like an hour. You couldn’t remember the last time you had felt so riddled with pride over something. It was like showing the very heart of both your parents to Arthur. It was an entire livelihood written down. Your childhood, your adolescence, your adult memories all coming back to you. It was exactly what you needed. The very thing to pull you outside of yourself for a moment, however brief.

It only occurred to you once the camp was packed up, you and Arthur had mounted, and the trip resumed that he had latched onto that ledger on purpose. Not because it was inherently interesting, and not because of any sort of politeness. It was because the ledger had been the first thing to make you speak, truly speak, since you’d met the man. He had picked up on that, on your love of your family before everything had gone so wrong. And he used it to help ease the pain for a little while. You realized then you were wrong about him. He was gruff and overly honest and sometimes flat out mannerless, but he was smarter than you figured for. Or maybe caring was the better word.

While the pair of you made out into another cold day, you were suddenly glad you had picked Arthur to come with you over anyone else. The man who had cared enough to save you. The one who was doing it still.

_________

Chapter six is here.

tag list: @tommys0not0beloved @ultraporcelainpig @photo1030

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #high honor arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #fanfic #writing

[anglepanda]

Leo x reader when you first meet pt.1

Narrator:you wake up in the morning and start getting ready cause it was your first day back at school. As you were fixing your hair you hear your phone buzzing,it was a text from April saying are you ready yet!?. You realized you told April to meet up with you at your apartment. You finished getting ready and headed down the stairs we’re April was waiting.

April: jeez what took you so long!?

Reader: I’m so sorry April I totally forgot I asked you to wait for me at my apartment…I’m just really not in the mood to go to school.

April: it’s fine…I’m not I’m the mood to go to school today either but here we are all dressed and ready for the day to begin.

Narrator: you giggled and then you and April were heading to school…a few minutes passed and you slightly glanced at April and she had a face that made you feel like she wanted to ask you something so you asked her what the problem was.

Reader: hey…April is something wrong? you know you can tell me anything right…

April: oh it’s nothing serious but um…can I trust you..

Narrator: you looked at April as if it a weird question to ask you.

Reader: what kind of question is that…of course you trust me we’re friends aren’t we and friends always trust each other.

April: yeah your right how could I not trust you i mean we’ve been friends for year’s so I guess it was kinda a weird question to ask but after school I want you to meet me here.

Narrator: she told you an area to meet her at you thought it was weird at first that she didn’t just wanted to ask you to meet you at that exact location but you didn’t want to question it so you just agreed and continued walking until you guys finally got to school. You both headed inside and straight to class you went to math and April went to English and guys both agreed to meet up after school. The day was finally over and it was time to meet up with April you two walked to the address April was talking about and you had a very shocked and confused look.

Reader: uh April…why are we by the sewers!?

April: it’s not what’s by the sewers it’s what’s in the sewers I wanted to show you…now do you trust me.

Reader: of course I trust you when is their a day I didn’t trust you…now let’s jump in.

Narrator: you two jumped down into the sewers and April led you to her “friends” lair and then she called out for them you were confused on to what or who she was calling out to but then you saw five figures standing in front of y’all you kinda got scared but being the brave person you are you introduced yourself to them.

Reader: uh hi…I’m reader(your name) and I’m a really good friend of April and I hope this doesn’t sound too weird but I’ve never seen or met anything or anyone like you guys before.

Narrator: the first one to come up to you was Mikey he was a nice and sweet turtle he was also the youngest one out of all of them.

Mikey: hi I’m Michelangelo(Mikey) and those are my three older brothers Raphael(raph),Donatello(donnie),and Leonardo(leo) oh and thats are dad(master splinter) with are little cat friend mayhem.

Narrator: you were very grateful that April took you here or else you would have never known about them. April came up to you and asked if you wanted to spend the night here with her and the boys but if you didn’t feel comfortable she would be more than welcomed to take you home cause she knows how crazy and weird the boys can get. You told her that you would love to spend the night in the lair but you would have to go home and get clothes for yourself but the Leo came up to you.

Leo: uh hey…reader(your name) wasn’t it…um I wouldn’t mind you using my hoodie…I mean if you want…

Narrator: he kinda blushed as he was giving you his hoodie you noticed it but you didn’t mind you probably thought because he was a little embarrassed to hand you his sweater. You thanked him and you gotten cleaned up and changed into his hoodie with a spare pajama pants April gave you. After that you guys played games and watched Jupiter Jim movies together and you started to fall asleep thinking that this was the best day of your life.

#leo x reader #rottmnt #my first official rottmnt post hope you enjoy it

[thisaintascenereviews]

Action/Adventure - Imposter Syndrome One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older, and I’ve absorbed more music over time, is that opinions change. I’ve talked a lot about my feelings on pop-punk over the years, and how I’ve got very complicated thoughts on it; I used to love it, then I fell out of favor with it for a few reasons, namely the genre just not being interesting, as well as a lot of band members and musicians in the genre being outed as predators, and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Why would I want to support something that breeds the worth of humanity? I realized after a handful of years, though, that the genre has changed a lot in the last five years, give or take, and that type of behavior is no longer tolerated, as well as there are new bands coming out or established bands that changed their sound. I just wasn’t a fan of bands moving into a grungy shoegaze sound, mainly because I find it boring, but it was all the rage in 2012. Nowadays, it seems like bands are pulling from the more pop aspects of the genre, pulling from hip-hop, R&B, and pop music itself, such as Magnolia Park, or the latest State Champs album. I haven’t mentioned the genre of easycore, and how that style of pop-punk has also fallen out of favor, but it’s not that it’s gotten bad, per se, it’s that no one really listens to it anymore. It was popular in the early to mid-00s, but now? It’s a shell of what it was once was, but a few bands are still going strong, like Four Year Strong, although a few new contenders show their faces every couple of years. Belmont released a new record earlier this year that I completely forgot about, and Action/Adventure also released their debut album quite recently. They just dropped their debut album, Imposter Syndrome, and I never a fan of Action/Adventure, but listening to the album, I don’t know why. Maybe their brand of pop-punk / easycore just never did anything for me, but this debut album is great. It’s not quite an album of the year contender for me, at least on the main list, but I would like to talk about this album in some capacity. This album is really good, but it does have some issues that hold it back for me a bit. Let’s start with what I like, though, and there is a lot. For starters, this band’s sound is really solid; they mainly seem to be an easycore band, which is the idea of combining pop-punk and hardcore (or just pop-punk with breakdowns), and there are a lot of nice breakdowns on this record, but there are a good amount of pop-punk tracks, so there’s a good balance and some variety on the album, especially when it’s only a half hour. The album ebbs and flows, but in a really good way. The sound is this album is quite nice, and should satisfy fans of the genre, whether you like regular pop-punk or easycore more. The latter is more important, because  there’s a new band to sink your teeth into, since new easycore bands are hard to find these days. That’s always a great feeling, right? These guys are definitely making a name for themselves in the pop-punk / easycore scene, and rightfully so, as this record is very solid. The only real issues I have with Imposter Syndrome is that it while it does a nice job of combining pop-punk and easycore, it also doesn’t do anything unique or worthwhile with it. It sounds great, don’t get me wrong, but you could just go back and listen to the “classic” easycore albums or bands, because they execute that sound a bit better. I guess it’s worth hearing if you’re a diehard fan of the genre, but if you’re a casual fan, or you’re not into it, you won’t get much out of this, I imagine. I had fun with this album, and it’s an album worth hearing to some degree, but it’s not the best of the album of the year. Not that it needs to be, though. I had fun listening to this, and that’s what matters most. It’s a fun pop-punk record with a good sound, and I didn’t mention the lyrics and vocals being pretty good, too, but there’s a lot of potential within this band. These guys have the potential to do really cool things in the future, and this is only their debut album, especially after only being around for the last handful of years. They haven’t been around super long, but I’m excited to see where they go next. They could totally change the game, just like all of these younger bands that are finally popping up and doing cool things. If you want some good pop-punk to go with your flannel, snapback, and pizza, I guess you can’t go wrong with this album, but if you want something more, let alone something that breaks boundaries a bit, you may want to look elsewhere. These guys have a good sound, but it’s within the pop-punk / easycore formula, and like I said, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’ve heard too many bands that utilize that cliched formula, so I’m looking for something that thinks outside the box, so to speak.

#action/adventure #imposter syndrome #pop-punk #easycore #belmont #four year strong #set your goals #state champs

[projectcaramel]

No Forgiveness (END) - Obey Me! Belphegor

I didn’t see Belphegor for a while after that incident in the living room. Beel carried his food to their room for a long time, and I admit I felt a little guilty every time I saw him do it. I knew Beel loved his brother a lot, even if his brother was a lazy asshole, so seeing the cinnamon roll upset was a trying thing.

Eventually, I cooled down enough that I at least wanted him to eat with his family, but when I told Beel that his twin didn’t have to isolate himself, his only reply was that Belphie chose to do it for his own reasons, and he was being stubborn about it. 

So, his self-confinement continued. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks. His older siblings visited him and tried to coax him out, but nothing would make him budge. I admit I was a little perplexed. He had avoided me before, but...

I cast my thoughts away from him as I started to play the piano again. Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. The slow, first movement, adagio sostenuto, keened through my fingers like a departed friend, regretting every instant that they lingered. The bittersweet second, allegretto, felt just as brief, just as painfully happy as I had felt in that time... 

And the third, presto agitato, violently passionate and ripping through my being just as sharply as the claws that had torn through my back, the words he said as he laughed in hysteric indecency. The frenzy, the anger! How it resounded with such great and terrible ardor! Tumbling down the line of notes, just like my body falling down the staircase that led to the attic, my blood splattering the chords with terrible finality as my fingers clutched the last parts of the piece. 

“...when did my playing become like this?” I muttered, even as I stood up, holding up my head and wandering away from the exhausted piano. I found myself at that same stairwell, the one I hadn’t dared come back to ever since Belphegor had killed me. 

And I slowly started to ascend the stairs, barely concerned with the creaking that weighed on my ears. 

“I’m so glad you’re here... I can’t imagine living all alone in this academy without any other humans...” 

Creak. Creak. 

“Lucifer’s such an asshole! He won’t stop lecturing me 24/7!” 

“He really is,” Belphegor laughed with me, even as he held my hand through his prison. “I really wouldn’t know what to do if you’d fallen for him like the rest.” 

“Oh, please, there’s only one guy that even has a shot with me!” 

“Who?” 

“That’s a secret~” 

Tap. Tap. The top of the stairway. The attic. That place. 

“So you’re a demon too? And their brother?” 

“I’m sorry... I meant to tell you earlier, but I was scared how you would react if I did.” His expression was one of genuine remorse, and I reached out to fluff his hair, smiling a little. 

“Well... I guess I’ve gotten used to it now. Besides, I was always a little suspicious. You were still lonely too.” 

I crossed the threshold, and I was soon overwhelmed with the memory of his freedom. 

"When I get out of here, Sidra," Belphie said from behind me, and I glanced backward at his dual-toned head of hair. "I want to hug you." 

"Belphie?" 

"Is that too selfish of me?" I shook my head first before I realized he couldn't see me. 

"No," I answered with a little smile. "Of course not. I want to hug you too." I turned towards him. "I've almost made the last pact." 

"I can't wait," he replied wistfully. "Can we hold hands too?" I laughed to myself. 

"You're getting awfully sentimental with me."

"I guess I've been stuck in here too long." 

I was nearly frozen, my blood rattling inside my veins like a bell. A warning bell. The Moonlight Sonata was thundering inside my ears even though the attic was silent. Why did it sound like my heart? 

"You... Really are an idiot." I could feel his lips by my ear, the smile curving across my flesh. Chills were racing up and down my back as I realized his curling ram horns had extended from his head, his long tail sweeping around my leg. His arms around me... They didn't seem so gentle anymore. 

"Belphie?" 

Splat. Splatter.

...Thud. 

I fell to my knees, covering my face as my breathing turned even more erratic. Why did I come up here? I knew I could never come back here since he did that. I knew. But I still... 

I scrambled away from the spot I had been sitting, crawling desperately for the window, which I threw open, gasping for air as if I had been starved of it. 

I need to get out of here. 

I crawled out of the window, reaching for the eaves of the roof before I shrieked as my hands faltered, my body falling into empty air.

"Oi!" A jarring yank on my arm, and my sliding stopped. "Ugh. Hold on." The blue-nailed hand that had emerged into my vision slowly pulled, stabilizing me on the roof of the House of Lamentation. "There we go. That was close." I glanced at Belphegor, almost mystified as he let out a sigh. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked blankly of the youngest out of the brothers. 

"I was looking at the sky," he replied after a moment. 

"Why?" 

"Because it's pretty?" He tilted his head. "Why'd you crawl out the window?" 

"I was..." I glanced down before the nausea hit, and I looked away from the ledge covering my mouth. Even if that fall wouldn't have killed me, I would have been left severely injured... "Trying to get out of the attic." 

"Are you an idiot? The door was right—" 

"Shut up!" I snapped at him, and I punched him in the chest. Hard. 

"Ow!" 

"Why did you have to give me PTSD?!" I startled him the longer I spoke, clinging onto his shirt with the voracity of a dead woman. "I liked you! You were my friend! You fucking bastard!"

The male seemed too stunned to even react as I panted, my tears coursing down my face. 

"What do you want me to do, Sidra?" He sounded helpless. "I can't ever take it back."  

"I want you to be the guy I met in the attic!" I retorted angrily. "The one who didn't kill me and laugh at my corpse!" Belphegor stared at me for several long moments before he sighed.

"That was it?" he mumbled, nursing a hand through his hair. "If that was all... I'm still the same guy, you know. I didn't lie to you about how I loved looking at stars and the moon." I glanced at the Devildom sky despite myself, and for a moment, I was spellbound by the full, beautiful scarlet moon. Come to think of it, today was the Devildom's lunar eclipse. 

"But you aren't," I rasped, sinking against the roof. "You lied to me... So many times." 

"But I won't lie to you again," he replied, and I flinched as I felt his hand on my face. "I won't. Have I lied to you since then?"  

"How should I know?" 

"You should," he replied. "Since you're the person who knows me the best." He leaned his head against mine. "But I guess you won't buy that either. So... just look up at these stars with me.” Despite my confused emotions, or maybe because of them, I didn’t shove Belphegor away as he interlaced our fingers together, looking up at the night sky.

“Sidra, I really like having you here. It seems like you’re the only person who understands my feelings... You will come back tomorrow, right?” 

“Of course. Because you’re the only person who understands me, right?”

<< Previous

#obey me belphie #belphegor #obey me shall we date #angst #ptsd #hatred #unforgivable #piano #moonlight sonata

[occult-roommates]

Sul sul to Sulani

After a 10 hours flight, the roommates finally made it to Sulani, though on top of that they had to wait an extra two hours for Dawud’s flight to show up, since he was still in his Arizonan hometown. Like, would have been a bit of a waste of time for him to fly back to San Myshuno just to be with his friends, and then fly to Sulani. Now, the group was rushing themselves to go to their vacation house, as the Sulani sun is not exactly vampire friendly, the heat was killing Rudi, and Daniele just wanted to finally be at the destination.

Daniele: Dude, I missed you so much! Dawud: I’ve been gone for five days. Daniele: It was too much for me. Rudi: Ok you two calm down...By the way, Dawud, count yourself lucky you weren’t in the plane with us. I was sitting next to Daniele and he spent the entire flight watching episodes of Aircrash Investigation and then giggling when I said it’s making me uncomfortable. Daniele: What, it was actually very interesting ok, I learnt a lot of stuff! Like, did you know the deadliest plane crash in history happened in the Canary Islands of all place? I didn’t know that. And it even happened on my mom’s 10th birthday. Rudi: My dad died in a plane crash you asshole! Daniele: Well you should have said it, bruh I can’t read your mind! Dawud: Even then, that’s still a bit rude to do Dan... Kino: You think that’s bad? I got my period during the flight! Like great, the trip has barely started yet and it’s already ruined... Dawud: Your...You have that??? Kino: Well, if we ignore the part Sixamians only have one sex, we reproduce pretty much like Earthlings, so keeping that in mind it’s pretty obvious I would. Daniele: Duh. Dawud: Ok, sorry for not ever thinking about alien menstruations I guess??? Akva: At least that means you’re not pregnant. Fuck, how will my friend react uh? I should have tell her in advance fuuuuuck... Charlie: Will you please hurry up I’m gonna burn alive if you don’t move right now!

The reason for this trip was because Akva got invited by her best friend from high school, June, to come visit her, and she’ll be the one hosting them during their vacations. The two hadn’t seen each other in forever, as June moved to Sulani as soon as she graduated. The reason for that is she moved there to study environmental science and then do work as a oceanic wildlife conservationist. To her, saving the ocean is a major issues, especially for Sulani, which is deeply affected by climate change by virtue of being a tiny island country in Polynesia, located around 50 miles south of Hawaii.

June: AKVAMAREEN!!

As soon as the young woman saw her friend, she rushed down the stairs and jumped on her to hug her. However, Akva quickly pushed her away, because...you know.

Akva: Please be careful... June: Why...OH! Uh...Are you...Wait...No way?? Akva: Yeah..................That’s why I’m dressed in these awful leggings that look straight out of a Facebook MLM, none of my clothes fit anymore and I got desperate. June: When you said you had a big new for me and were bringing new people I thought you had gotten a girlfriend. Girl, what the fuck! Akva: By the way, I see you’re still super short. June: Miss Singh, don’t try to switch the topic on me...Also who even is the dad?? Akva: Remember last winter when I dated Jay for like two months before realizing I’m a lesbian... June: REALLY? DOES HE EVEN KNOW?? HE’S ALSO IN SULANI RIGHT NOW AND HE DIDN’T TOLD ME???

Akva did some sort of middle point between cringing and smiling, then shook her head. Then, the realization Jay was also on the island right now horrified her...Well, seems like she won’t be able to keep the secret for long. All of this noise outside attracted the attention of the actual owner of the house, a world famous professional surfer...Though to June, she’ll forever be her beloved older sister.

June: So, anyway, hello Akvamareen’s friends. My name is June Crosdale, I’m 20 years old and I love sea turtles. And this is my big sister Antoinette Crosdale, she is 25 years old, she loves surfing and also cheesy rom-com. Dawud: June and ANTOINETTE??? Is it just me or do the vibe of these two names doesn’t fit? It would be like if I had a brother named Jean-Claude. June: And we also have an older sister named Eduarda. Toni: Well, Antoinette is my birth name, but pretty much everyone calls me simply Toni. It’s just June who’s weirdly insistant on always calling people by their full name. Rudi: I don’t think I ever told y’all but my full name is Rudder.

As this whole name thing was going on, Kino stood there, in awe of Toni. Her dyed blue hair, her smooth dark skin, Kino could only think one thing...

Oh my Llama, she’s gorgeous!

Prev - Next

#the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #sims community #sims 4 community #sims 4 gameplay #ts4 screenshots #simblr story #occult roommates #kino gurafee #dawud sahan #rudi marron #daniele rossini #akva singh #charlie yi #june crosdale #toni crosdale #long post #OcRo s1

[hismercytomyjustice]

If I had to guess, I’d say I’m writing at about 50% my usual speed because of how much research I’ve been doing for this fic. orz

More fic stuff below:

So far today it’s been research on Lolth and her former boo. And looking at maps trying to figure out what to incorporate in the two chapters I’m having to add closer to the beginning.

I’ve had to go back twice now, which has been super weird for me because I’ve always been a hardcore linear writer. I start at the beginning and go until the end.

Tbh I didn’t know if I could even DO that. Go back and add something, I mean. It’s just not how my writing brain has worked in the past.

I wound up going back twice before already, I think when I was at chapter four, to add a whole other scene to chapter two because it felt too abrupt.

I know it’s discouraged to edit while writing, but this was more so adding than editing?

I tend to write short, I think. I more often find myself having to add things rather than remove. Maybe that’s why the concept of “killing your darlings” has always been a little foreign to me. I don’t have enough darlings to kill. T_T

It’s kind of funny to think about though. Apparently ADHDers tend to have more divergent thinking than convergent thinking, but I think I’ve always treated what little outlining/brainstorming (bullet points of ideas for scenes) I do divergently while I’ve treated my actual writing convergently. I’m also a pantser, though I don’t love the word.

The second time, I was on chapter nine and realized not enough had happened between chapters eight and nine, so I added two new chapters there too. Or at least I think that’s where it was?

This time around I was on chapter 10 before I realized my already heavy Astarion story needed more Gale focused bits. I’ve gone back to add two new chapters after chapter four to fix this.

Who even am I anymore?! 💀 I don’t write like this. This feels illegal. 💀💀💀

It’s been nice having tumblr to externalize my thoughts on the whole process and on my writing in general though. More often than not, I’m hyperaware of all the little things I’m experiencing but I struggle to see the big picture. Journaling has always helped me with that. I wasn’t intending to journal about this in particular, but it’s helped me learn a lot about myself.

I feel like my writing has come a long way too, even if I struggle to see it most of the time. Like, I can’t believe it’s been seven years since I wrote my Cardcaptors fic.

I’ve actually been rereading a lot of my older fics recently. Having a terrible memory helps, lol. Feels like I’m reading something someone else wrote. Haven’t delved back into my original works though.

For me, with my fics I feel like the main thing I notice is that I could use more description of everything. Meanwhile, in my original stuff I feel like I struggle with description, writing strong side characters and villains, and overall story structure. This is probably true to a degree with my fanfics too, but I can rely more on the fact that, if you’re reading one of my fics, you’ve probably already got a good feel for a lot of that stuff because you already have an interest in the media I’m writing them for.

Right now, writing fics for me feels kind of like having the training wheels back on to a degree. I’m trying to use them to learn in a safer space than in my own head (lol). I am not nice to myself, though I’ve gotten considerably better over the years (yay therapy!). Being able to play in someone else’s world is a lot less fraught with things like “oh god I’m a failure, I’ll never be published, no one will ever like this, you’re wasting your time, what makes you think you can write, etc.”

Welcome back Pure O, it’s been a while! 💀 My OCD thought spirals combined with my perfectionism make my brain a not fun place to be, which makes me freeze up, overthink, and struggle to make any progress. I have spent so much time over the past few years just trying to get myself to write again and to not be so critical of my own work that I never create anything. Lol good thing I have therapy tomorrow because I think I just realized my OCD is probably a big part of what’s been causing that. In addition to good ol’ ADHD.

It also helps that you get immediate feedback with fanfics, at least on what’s working well. It’s hard hammering away at something day after day with no dopamine checks to cash. Especially if you have ADHD. I can spend just as much time on an original work that may never see the light of day, but with fanfic I am bound to get at least some people clicking the little heart icon and feeding the Netherese orb of self-doubt inside me!

Yaaaay self-reflection.

#life things #fanfic #writing #writing struggles #ancient books and horror stories #adhd #ocd #learning to be nicer to myself #look how far we’ve come

[lady-snow-flower]

RP QUESTIONNAIRE

Your Name: Laur

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Merida, Nemo, Jun, Pip, Amity, Snow, Penny, Karen, Eboshi

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

We’re gonna talk about Jun Moon. 

It turns out that I have a favorite kinda character, apparently– a character who simply loves to Not Grow (™) actually, to resist growth, to sometimes grow backwards and get worse. I have written this section before with both Mel and Ashleigh, where I talked a lot about that kind of anti-growth and why I love it. Guess what– we’re doing it again!

Well, only kind of! Because Jun DID grow…is growing… in fits and starts and a way that really excites me! And we all have Juno to thank for it!

But yes: Jun is a character who does not actually believe that people change. I discovered this, and many other things about Jun in our epic letter-writing experiment throughout the year. Only through this medium was Jun able to access emotions and memories he has ignored or suppressed. And at the root of a lot of Jun’s issues is I think this hopelessness that he is who he is and can never be anything but what he is. And I think that makes a lot of sense for him bc his life was in many ways decided the second he was born. As the oldest son in a Korean household, that just– immediately defines things about your life that you really don’t have any say about. And it’s not like Jun COULD change those things if he tried. He will always be mathyung. 

But… even just acknowledging things he wishes opens up the door for other smaller, minute changes. It’s been such a subtle journey. And he is still very stuck, very passive, very resistant, but the crack is there– and got a little wider now with the rebuilding of the Moon Market which is a Metaphor I Am Sure You All Realize. So I am hoping that this crack in Jun’s proverbial dam will open up in the months to come.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? 

So hard to pick if only because spoilers lol. I think… Pip in a lot of ways has had a quieter year (for him) and I definitely want to refocus on some of his plots going into next year. I have some ideas that I’ve not really gotten around to when it comes to Amy and Maggie and so next year might be a good idea to tackle that! 

Also, spoiler I guess but idk i have talked about it to a few people so i dont care lol, I do want him to direct his own play. That feels so majorly important because it’s seizing control of the narrative and getting to decide his own fate! I think there’s so much fun to be had for Director Pip and one can hope I have enough creative energy to really see it through, because I do want to have him adapt something probably, and make it like, queer and edgy and probably over the top and hilarious in the way that only Pip Seville can do. I will work on when the best time is for this, we’ll see. Stay tuned. 

Meanwhile, one can HOPE that he makes some like emotional headway lolol but i probably shouldn’t promise anything. We’ll make several attempts to grow Pip emotionally. I do kinda wanna… shake up the status quo… wink. 

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. 

I will shout out my entire Murder Plot lol. This was definitely a bucket list item for me and Snow. I wrote on last year’s questionnaire or goals or something that I wanted to do more necromancy with her this year, perhaps even something darker, and I believe brutally murdering John Cunningham her old necromancy teacher counts!

 I loved this plot because it combined both fantasy and contemporary elements, which I love to do. I also love to bring people together, and so I liked finding roles for Wolf, Gem, and Ting-Ting. And on a very very self-indulgent level, I wanted to write horror! I enjoyed playing with those details and creating that atmosphere, and I just really wanted to murder someone using their own bones and so i did lmfao.

And I am also proud of the fact that I wrote a bunch of one-shots and stuff this year. I think I’m unfortunately a very long-winded writer who also thinks conceptually about things, which can be a good thing but also leads me to not writing certain one-shots or tasks because in my mind if I can’t do like a 10k fully realized narrative, what is the point?? But this year, I wrote and published a few things anyway. So I’m going to Kudos myself bc I really am proud of these things. 

Penny’s Lessons Series: personally i like the format of this. I like the idea of taking a word and exploring it from multiple angles!! I was inspired a lot by the one chapter in Mara Wilson’s memoir, where she tracks her views of religion and god throughout her life. Part One: Name Part Two: Father Part Three: Bad 

Karen’s The Door Is Open: I am increasingly finding value in writing in the first person and Karen unlocked for me while I wrote their postcards to family, and later, to their MAFIA friends. It is what gave me so many hcs about them– how they have swynlake au dreams; that they design postcards; their general artistic interests lol. OFC this piece also incorporates more traditional prose– i am a girly who loves her mixed media. But yeah, I worked hard on it and i think it’s a pretty good character study of a young Karen!! 

Next, I’m going to shout out some things very generally because honest to GOD, when I am writing my paras, so many times they are my favorite paras of the moment lol. 

Ashleigh’s Last Arc (Dreams Come True, Annaleigh’s Goodbye, Kidnapping Evangeline) 

The Loud Bell + Acheron Song Fest (always a good challenge and very emotional too!!) Tiny Dancer Goodbye ugh 

Snowbell demon summoning duh 

Everything Juno, duh 

Penny’s entire Hollywood arc bc she is my special girl– shoutout to Tenny break-up also 

The dumb ass Phinnip Frenchy Fight of the Summer

The Entire Darling Arc as well– especially my John ‘task’ where he had to assemble a living family tree! Matcha goodbye! Ugh! 

There’s definitely more i rly do love all my threads but i wrote like 800 this year probably. 

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 things you love to write about (metaphors? Sibling relationships? Physical description?) and talk about why you enjoy it! 

Sorry that these are gonna be pretentious it is my fairy talent i fear…

Posthumanism or transhumanism or perhaps just sheer Wildness. Sorry i did warn u all. But I think the reason that I love rping fairies and then gravitated very strongly to Penny is that I like to imagine brand new modes of living and thinking beyond that of the human. Like, what does the world look like when you’re 3 inches tall, and money is a foreign concept to you? Or like, how would your BRAIN develop if you were literally taught concepts through the eyes of a poodle? I will acknowledge that from the start, this is a losing battle. I am a human, raised with all my human assumptions and biases, and so everything I ever create will inevitably be colored by that. But I LIKE to try. I like the experiment, and the challenge. It is so fun to me to try to catch myself out and unpack my own perspective and really really try to see the world another way (hence the Penny series), and although I will fail, oftentimes I discover new things about humanity, or at least my own humanity, in the process. if u read this paragraph congrats its foreshadowing, and now a quote from jack halberstam on the subject: "Definitions of wildness will jostle with another for classificatory dominance, and just as quickly as formulations of the wild emerge, they may just as easily recede into babble. We will journey from bewilderment to chaos, from weeds to wandering, from the will to wilderness; we will be in the wild but not imagine ourselves to be of it; we will be guided by unhinged children, poets, animals, and wild thinkers. We will think ourselves wild too and then question the 'we,' the 'wild,' and everything in between."

Humor: anyway enough critical theory how about some LAUGHS! Yes, I just love supremely silly things. The sillier and goofier the better. For me, the most fun drama is not so much rooted in angst but like, embarrassment and misunderstanding and silliness, so yeah I think I definitely enjoy doing that kind of thing and probably why a lot of my characters (see: Karen and Pip) also use humor to process all negative things in their lives lol.

Image Systems: every year this is on my questionnaire without fail sorry about it. But yeah it’s my bread and freakin butter yall. I pick up characters, sometimes exclusively, to write in a new image system. That’s right, I just think to myself “Well, gosh, how fun would it be to have all these new metaphors attached to WIND and FLIGHT and AIR and BREATH and WEATHER” (to use Nemo as an example) and then I get that character, thank u! In a way it goes back to point one, though in a way more broad sense of like, I like to think in new ways and image systems are a wonderful doorway into a person’s mind who has experiences that I don’t have. 

What major updates have your characters gone through this year? (For example: 

beginning/ending a relationship, moving, starting a new job, adopting a pet, etc). Think if it as anything you would have put in the #character-updates channel. If you have a pinned post, consider adding these updates so everyone is aware of them in the future.

Berlioz: Berlioz became a teacher! Then he said fuck being a teacher and quit being a teacher! He’s grown closer with Jenny, gotten more confident and sure in what he wants, and has started looking outside of Swynlake for the next step in his life and marriage. <3 he has self-actualized good for him

Hades: got married a THIRD TIME!! Helped return his children to the future! Got kicked out of being mayor and started working at Queen’s Boutique!

Merida: discovered their brother is a MEDIUM! Many fights with Elinor. Helped nurse Elinor back to health after gunshot. Embraced being nonbinary and changed their pronouns!

Nemo: continued to readjust to life as a uni student! Put on a summer showcase with Ashlee and said goodbye to her. <3 He’s been working hard on choreo and balancing fairy duties/uni duties, got Luca to join the volleyball team, and ofc dealt with drama about his mother’s investigation reopening. Plus, Marlin is dating now, yikes!

Jun: got a secret penpal, opened up to secret penpal, discovered penpal was Lo, fell for Lo, watched his father’s store get totally destroyed brutally, launched a redesign/expansion of market, continued to do nothing about crush on Lo

Pip: got into a relationship with Jeremy and helped Jeremy come out!!!!! Lived a terribly disappointing summer as Frenchy, then lived an equally disappointing fall as part of the Distinguished Gentlemen. Filled his existential void with new projects with Build a Brand, rebranded SSIC into SPF. Continued to have weird relationships with most men in his life

Amity: prepared for uni in the fall, got Lilith to sponsor her for the magick grand prix, broke up with Riley, got super depressed, reconnected with Willow but has yet to apologize, series of hook-ups (most infamously with Jenny Marsh Foxworth) annnnd helped defeat an evil sentient plant hybrid.

Snow: broke up with Bruce, started dating Tom, part of Isa’s drama-filled bach weekend, accidentally unleashed demons into Swynlake because she was threatened by Eboshi’s arrival, then she had to deal with someone blackmailing the inn and it turns out that was her old necromancy teacher who she then accidentally killed to avoid being killed herself!!! Necromancy revealed to: Gem, Snow, Ting-Ting. Against all odds, still dating Tom. oh my gosh she’s a shitshow

Penny: brought HOLLYWOOD TO SWYNLAKE!!! Starred in Olive Bright, Pigeoneer! Bit her producer! Quit the movie! Quit acting! Enrolled in school! Catfished Tanya! Accidentally made Pip jealous by getting along with Jeremy! Went to NYC for Thanksgiving! Also a shitshow!

Eboshi: brought IRONTOWN TO SWYNLAKE!!! Kicked out Hades, closed the forest, shut down Chapter Three. Is now secretly training with her long lost ancestor Ashitaka and wrestling with her internalized anti-magick attitude.

Karen: they JUST got here. Done practically nothing besides squabble with their mother and flirt with various good-lookin’ bitches up and down Swynlake. Watch out suckers, 2024’s gonna be their year!

Talk about your dash reply style and your Discord reply style! (And if applicable, also your doc reply style). What do you like about each type of interaction? What is something you feel is difficult? Do you have preferences regarding how many times you’re tagged per day, or do you prefer for your replies to be queued for a certain amount of time?

Generally speaking, I do not hold threads nor do I want threads held for me. This is blanket permission: REPLY AS MUCH AS U WANT!!! The only time this doesn’t apply is when I travel, then I usually ask people to reply once a day or something, just because I might miss things on the dash and then it’ll slip through the cracks. Otherwise, my rp style is just to reply every single day to as many threads as I’d like! It’s really just that simple. I try to make sure each one of my partners gets at least one reply and we go from there. 

On the individual methods of rping.

Dash: love it. Call me old school but its my preference. I like having the record of things on there. I’m game to go back and forth as long as I’ve completed my daily amount of threads for the day. Can dash all day babyyyy

Discord: like it. Def love jumping on ol discord to do an event here and there! But once the notif disappears, I am infamously bad at forgetting it exists. Im so sorry. U do have to tap me in these instances. 

Doc: hate it. Jk jk but– weirdly enough i am getting worse at remember these??? I dunno what’s up with me, it just throws me off my groove. So I prefer to only do docs when absolutely necessary, like for surprises and stuff like that–stuff that i KNOW is high priority, or else it slips from my head. 

And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Villain hijinks for Karen!

More dating and uni drama for Penny and Amity specifically!

MORE FAIRY STUFF!!! The fact we have Clarion is amazing. I’m looking forward to doing more fairy plots in and outside of the hollow. I won’t even front with yall, I am looking at several fairy muses. Idk if they will come through in the end, but I do hope I get another fairy character because I enjoy them so much :) 

I am once again asking for a tournament arc like in an anime. I really just have to make this happen myself dont i 

Sports Anime™ as well. I have athletic characters but I have never really pursued that kind of thing as a serious plot so maybe we can finally make it happen with magick grand prix or i’ll find another avenue lolol.  

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

I say it every year and it remains true: writing for writing sake! I just love that I can be inspired here, be silly here, try things out here, and it’s all because I love it and love my characters and love the people. Writing is so fun when you do it with friends! It continues to be true for me.

Also: deeply important to my mental health! I start every day with RP and I think being able to check even these little paras off my mental to do list really sets me up for success lol. I’m glad my brain works this way honestly. Not to be too capricorn up in here but I’m glad i take rp too seriously, I’m glad I treat it like part of my job, I’m glad that it feels productive and that makes me feel good about myself like bla bla bla capitalism or whatever but sometimes work is good esp work that you assign yourself or whatever lol.

#swyntask #too long as always

[oxycodoneofficial]

Chapter 1

    Heyyyy thanks for reading this if ur here from my tik tok :)) I took a part from the middle of this story and posted it so its not gonna get that intense immediately and the first chapter is a bit of a slow burn but it gives some important exposition :)

      “Will I see you again?” I asked. He looked at me and sighed.

      “Honestly dude, you’re really cool and all but I really owe it to her to work things out. We can still be friends though,” If I’ve heard that once, I’ve heard it a million times. It’s incredibly common that a guy will have such a horrible breakup that he realizes he’s actually attracted to guys, go on Grindr and have a hookup, and then get scared and run away when they realize they actually liked it. I’ve gotten used to it at this point.

     “Well, when that doesn’t work and you wanna link again,” I got out of the car and leaned on the door. “You know how to find me,” I said before closing the door behind me. 

     When I walked into the house, I was greeted by the sweet smell of Quentin’s mother’s favorite Italian meal, spaghetti. His mom was so happy when I moved in because she finally had another person in the house who liked spaghetti, justifying her to make it more. I couldn’t help but smile thinking about it. 

     “Ty? Is that you?” Q’s mom called from the kitchen.

     “Yeah it’s me!”

     “Oh good, you’re just in time!” She walked into the foyer to greet me with a hug. “Go grab Q and Avery, I just finished dinner.” 

     “Got it, be right back,”

     “You reek of weed by the way!” She called after me. I laughed as I ran up their beautiful spiral staircase. It was surprising she could even pick that out because it smelled like a fucking dispensary upstairs. I looked at all the family pictures on the wall as I walked towards the bedrooms. Pictures of Q and Avery as they grew up filled up the frames, along with family pets they’ve had, cousins, and recently they’ve added me into the family photos.

     “Hey Aves, dinner’s ready,” I knocked on the door to Avery’s room before I opened it. 

     “Ty!” She squealed and ran up to hug me. God I loved that kid. I picked her up in the air and spun her around in a circle. Her laugh was so sweet, I’d do just about anything to hear it. I threw her up in the air and caught her again, making exaggerated grunting noises so she’d think she was getting to big for me to pick up anymore, but she wasn’t.

     “How was school, kiddo?”

     “Good.” She stated matter-of-factly. “Did you know that the pilgrims and the Indians weren’t actually friends and that the pilgrims actually stole the land from the Native Americans?” I guess they’re correcting the curriculum earlier these days.

     “I did know that. Did you know that you were actually a leprechaun when you were born, but your brother and I did some special magic trick to turn you into a little girl?” Avery was almost at the age where you couldn’t fuck with her anymore because she’d see right through it, but she was still just a little bit too naïve.  

     “No way! Mom has pictures of me when I was a little baby!” She protested. 

     “Yeah well mom actually stole those pictures off the Internet,”

     “Did not!”

     “She totally did! I’ll ask Q right now,” I knocked on his door. “Ayo Q, didn’t we help mom find those pictures online so that we’d have baby pictures of Avery? After we turned her into a little girl?” I heard him snicker through the door and a few moments later, out in the hall he was. 

     “Oh yeah, mom had us go on a hunt to make sure it was completely untraceable and you’d never know unless you were told.” He concurred, glancing over at me humorously. 

     “Well why didn’t mom tell me?” Avery paused and crossed her arms. That’s the thing about her, all you had to do was double down and she’d believe you eventually. 

     “Because Aves, she doesn’t want you to know. She was gonna wait until you were older but I think you’re big enough to handle it now. You don’t remember being a leprechaun?”

     “No I don’t because I wasn’t a leprechaun!” She yelled and ran towards the stairs. 

     “Where do you come up with these stories?” Q asked and walked back into his room, motioning for me to follow. He grabbed his bowl and sat on the bed.

     “Oh dude I just straight up make them up on the spot. No thought process,” I sat next to him and leaned back onto the bed. I heard the spark of his lighter and the smell of freshly lit weed hit my nose. I couldn’t help but smile then too. 

     “Here go,” He said holding his breath and handing me the bowl, before coughing out the smoke from his lungs. I accepted the bowl, sat back up, and grabbed the lighter from his lap. 

     “How’d it go?” I shrugged while packing the weed tighter into the bowl.

     “He said he owed it to some girl to work things out,” I put the bowl to my mouth and lit it. I hadn’t smoked all day so this hit was going to be amazing. I handed the bowl back to Q and laid back down while exhaling.

     “Oh so he’s scared of being gay,” He said, standing up and placed the bowl back on his nightstand. I reached out my hand and he grabbed it and pulled me off the bed onto my feet.

     “Yeah basically,”

     “Quentin, Ty! Come on dinner’s gonna get cold!” Q’s mom yelled.

     “We’re right here, mom.” Q laughed and we sat down at the dinner table. 

      “Well you were taking forever and I was in the kitchen,” She placed our plates in front of Q, Avery, and I and sat down. “Dad’s busy at work tonight so he’s not gonna be joining us but he won’t be home too late. And speaking of fathers, Ty I spoke to your dad and he is still refusing to give up his rights. He swears up and down that when he gets out of rehab he’s gonna try to fix everything.” Oh I’m sure he does swear that. Just like he swore that the past 4 times he went to rehab. 

      “Oh, yeah like I’ve never heard that one before.”

      “That’s what I told him and I got my head bit off for it. But I promise you honey, we’re not gonna stop fighting for you. We’re still your legal guardians, and we absolutely will adopt you. John’s been talking to his lawyer friend and we are gonna take this to court.” I wish my mother could have met Q’s mother. I really think they would’ve been friends. Sometimes I like to think that I became friends with Q after my mom died because she knew his family would love me and take care of me, and she knew that’s what I needed.

     “Thanks mom. I appreciate that,” We spent the next hour talking about our days. Avery retold her Thanksgiving story again, and Q and I defended that we do our homework and that our teachers just don’t put the grades in when we and his mom both know it’s not true. Having dinner with Q’s family was always my favorite part of my day.

     We helped his mom clean up the dining room and the kitchen when we finished the fire ass spaghetti that she made, and headed back to our room that Q and I share. When I first moved in, we had originally slept in the same bed but after a while of two teenage boys sleeping in a twin size bed, it just didn’t work anymore so his mom got me my own bed. I walked over to said bed, and immediately fell onto it. 

     Under my pillow was a small stash of pills that I had collected from my friends’ houses. Not enough for them to ever notice it were missing, just one pill here and there from different bottles. I quietly grabbed it and pulled out one of the pills, which I assumed to be Percocet. I looked around to make sure Q wasn’t paying attention to me, and I popped it in my mouth and swallowed.

     In a dissociative state waiting for the pill to kick in, I stared at my ceiling. I watched the swirls of the popcorn ceiling dance in my peripherals and I felt the walls breathe with me. I was pulled out of this state, however, when I got a phone call.

     “Hey Mitch,”

     “You doing anything tonight?” He asked, which meant he wanted me to come over and hookup with him.

     “I just got home from hanging out with someone so I don’t think you really wanna deal with all that,”

     “Fuck dude my parents left for the night. I wanted to see you,”

     “Well it’s not like they don’t leave like once a week. And did you wanna see me? Or did you wanna see this ass?”

     “Hey we do share a bedroom, dude!” Q complained from across the room, and I threw one of my pillows at him.

      “What if I wanted to see both?” He cooed. Cringe. He and I both know he just wants to get off but I enjoy his company so I usually do stay with him. It’s just I don’t wanna clean myself all up again tonight.

     “You’ll see me at school tomorrow. Maybe we can work something out there. I gotta go though, before Q vomits over there,” I joked and my consequence was that, was the pillow from earlier thrown back at my face. Well played, Q. Mitch and I chatted for a couple more minutes before actually hanging up.

[igiveanf]

One Choice Away From FREEDOM.

What if making one choice, was enough to change the way you lived your life?

What if this one conscious decision made all the difference in your outcome?

Would you want to know what it was?

My oldest son recently discovered this one choice and when he shared what it was, I knew I had to share it too. It was far too profound and powerful to keep it to ourselves.

Over the weekend we had a proud parenting moment. Our son played a really amazing game of hockey and everyone, parents included, noted the difference in his playing.  

Though it was great to see him play so well, the highlight for me wasn’t at all how he played, it was the realization he came to before he played.

This is his first year playing hockey, and he’s still very much learning the game. Each week, he has gotten a little better, but each week, Graham and I noticed he still struggled to get involved in the play, and many times, he would come home discouraged afterward.

He would share with us that he isn’t good at hockey and doesn’t like not being good at it when everyone else on his team is.

Despite his discouragement, he always ended the conversation with the promise to keep trying.

The only dramatic change between last weeks game and this weeks game was a choice he made just minutes before he played.

It was one that despite my telling it to him many times over the years, he very much had to discover it for himself. It was the difference maker for him, and I believe it is for everyone who chooses it.

On the way home, he shared his realization with us and before I share it with you, let me be fully transparent and tell you I really wish I would have come to realize it at his young age.

I can imagine it would have changed so much for me. I would have lived with a freedom I’ve only recently, in the last decade or so, discovered.

He said, “I realized that I was just so caught up in caring what others thought about me, that I wasn’t even playing my hardest or my best because I was worried that if I did, I might mess something up. I held back because I was so nervous that if I tried harder, I would make a mistake. “

As he continued, we listened attentively, “I decided to stop caring so much about what others think of me, and then I had a great game. It was that easy. From now on, I’m going to play without caring what others will think or say about me, and if I do make a mistake, so what, at least I tried and gave it my all.”

Imagine what we could achieve if we all lived even a tiny bit freer of what others thought or said.

I don’t know for certain but I’m guessing we wouldn’t hold ourselves back as much, we may speak up a little more often, take a few more risks and even be brave enough to choose to follow our heart.

I don’t know why we decide to place so much weight on the opinions of others, but I do know that it starts at a very young age.

My youngest is six, and even he makes comments about worrying that someone will tease him if he wears a certain shirt or watches a certain show.

Despite my best efforts and attempts to encourage him, and all three of my boys, to be who they are and follow their heart, I can see that they still have so much weight on fitting in, being liked and caring what others think of them.

Obviously, there’s a fine line and we should care about our cleanliness, presentation and kindness towards others but when we decide not to wear something we really love, or do something we really love, for fear of what others will think or say or do, that’s when the line is crossed.

I’ve always admired people who live free from the opinions of others, and the older I get, the better I am getting at living in this freedom myself.

I used to think this realization is discovered as we age, and maybe that is the case, but some make this choice early on and, as such, have many more years to be who they are. I think they are the lucky ones.

They will be willing to take risks, live louder, and commit to being themselves regardless of what others say they should or shouldn’t do, and therefore, they will live free.

Embracing our own uniqueness is a beautiful thing. GOD did not make us the same and I don't believe he wanted us to live our lives trying to be like others or holding back who we are because of others.

My sons freedom in hockey can be your freedom in life. It’s as easy as making one choice.

Decide not to care what others think of you and instead give whatever you do your very best effort, free of all thoughts for who will think what about it.

Perhaps you’ll discover what he did, that you go so much further when you do this. Freedom is being who you were made to be without anyone’s permission. Choose freedom, and not only will you win, I'm certain you'll inspire others to do the same.

[cottlestonpie77]

Rando Legacy 1.5

More of Brandi's wildly inappropriate work friends.

Inappropriate Guest: So, SEX, am I right? Pretty great, huh? Have all of you lovely females been treated right in the sack lately?

I mean...different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Inappropriate Guest: Personally, I like to play classical music to get the ladies in the mood, do you know what I'm saying?

Dylan: Pretty sure I am ENTIRELY too young to be having this conversation wit you!

I'm not sure why Abner's crying. Maybe he got demoted?

Abner: Brandi's talking with one of her friends and it DOESN'T involve me burning food? *shocked Pikachu*

Stay classy, Brandi's friends!

Brandi: So now that the kids have gotten a little bit older, I wonder if maybe we should think about hav-

Abner: Yeah, that's gonna be a hard NO, dear. Do you see how we're eating macaroni for dinner because we're too poor to afford anything else?

*awkward silence*

Another repair, another day of NOT being electrocuted. Go Abner!

Calum! He actually looks kinda cute here.

And...Dylan, the heir, who looks like some sort of weird human-alien hybrid. Why are his eyes so GIANT.

Well, well, well...if it isn't Meadow Thayer! She looks super cute with these face templates!

So my bitch of a nanny said something really mean to Brandi for no reason and made her cry! You do realize SHE PAYS YOU, right, you old hag?

I'm keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't spit in the burgers.

Although maybe Nanny-Spit Burgers would be better than Dad's Burnt Spaghetti, at least in Dylan's opinion.

The Founder. He doesn't have weird alien bug eyes, I honestly don't know what's going on with Dylan's but oh well. It keeps the genetics interesting!

Dylan brings home a friend, I think his name is Chandler. I'm happy for Dylan to have a friend but Chandler is kind of a dick.

Chandler: Yeah, that's really nice your dad got a promotion, Dylan, but MY DAD got a bigger and better promotion. We're not poor and reduced to eating burnt spaghetti like you guys are.

Note: Brandi's friend in the back kind of looks like he could be Chandler's dad.

It's time for Calum to age up to a teen!

Mental note: Get the stand for the thinking ca

Aw, not bad! I think he gets a little better looking at each age group.

Second Mental Note: Get a default replacement for that outfit, STAT.

Abner: *minding his own business, studying*

Secret Society Member: Hello, Abner, just so you know I've broken into your house to tell you you can join our film club!

Abner: ...FUCK WHAT THE FUCK you scared the crap out of me, get out of my house!

Chandler was a dick so Dylan made a new friend, whose name escapes me at the moment but honestly it looks like it should be Jedediah or some shit.

Oh those angsty teen years.

Calum: God, DAD, why do you insist on watching Harry Potter all the time, WIZARDS ARE DUMB.

Abner: ...but I like wizards.

Calum: Wizards are dumb and YOU'RE DUMB TOO for liking them, you guys are SO MORITFYING.

Abner had gotten fat so I had him do one (1) exercise and he is suddenly fit again! Boy I sure wish this worked in real life.

The kids waking up in the morning - nothing interesting, I just kind of liked the shot for whatever reason.

#sims 2 screenshots #sims 2 pictures #sims 2 legacy #the sims 2 #sims 2 simblr #rando legacy #ts2

[chronocidalrage]

LIVING IS FOR THE LIVING (or something)

Damn, man. I really don’t wanna live. Or at least, I’m really scared of living. I want to only do safe things, experience life from a safe bubble. That’s why I love movies. I need to start living. Fake it til you make it I guess. 

That anxiety is life. The fear that life will hurt me, disappoint me, so I keep trying to avoid real life. 

Yeah man, to me, life is pain. The harder I try to enjoy my time on this earth, the more pain I feel, the more I regret trying. I’ve always been trying to create safe bubbles for myself. The most successful was the TSG years, like 26-30, because it allowed me to live what felt like a full life, but from a fairly safe distance.

Now I’m a bubble of one. Just hiding away, trying to protect myself all the time. 

I think that my natural view of myself is that I’m someone who is used, hurt, taken advantage of, lied to. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I’m talented but not talented enough. Smart but not smart enough. I need to be brave and start living the life I wanna live and deal with the shit that happens along the way. 

Food and movies make me feel safe, but they keep me from living. 

I need to start living. I can’t fall apart again. Never going back to hell and back. 

Yeah, wow, been thinking about this off and on all day. I’m afraid of living. And I hate being asked to do stuff that I’m not perfect at because I see it like “don’t ask me to embarrass myself for love.” I want to be loved SAFELY.

MY FIRST FOURTH OF JULY WITHOUT ATOM

Just realized Fourth of July was a huge holiday for me and Atom. We loved going to Fort Devens when we were kids and seeing the fireworks. Then as we got older, I joined in on his FOJ celebrations with his friends, and then as the years went on we added camp back in. The fourth was always a huge day for us, like Halloween and Christmas. How did I forget that? It was what I looked forward to all summer. It was my summer. No wonder summers have gotten hard for me over the last several years. Probably part of why they were hard for him too. 

I can picture him just hanging out with me so I didn’t have to be alone at camp when Mike & Joe weren’t talking to me for a few years. You never left me on my own. 

If you’re talking about someone, you’re keeping them alive. They’re a concept of a person in someone’s head, just like they were when they were alive. 

DEPRESSED

I can always tell how depressed I am by how badly (and constantly) I need to be distracted, how hard I try to be anywhere but here and now. I can see myself from the outside, always looking away, teasing at this possibly amazing person inside me that I’m simply too scared to let out.

I saw a picture of myself with my nephews on July 3rd and I look so heavy. Damn. Need to track food and change that. I’ve been doing surprisingly well in some ways so I didn’t quite realize how much I’ve been eating my feelings.

[galactic-magick]

Love the Unlovable: Bruno Madrigal x Reader Part 1

Summary: 10 years ago, right before his disappearance, you were engaged to Bruno Madrigal. Now, Mirabel wants to know what happened.

Words: 1.5k+

Warnings: none

Author’s Notes: This was originally going to be a oneshot but it was getting long enough that I figured I should split it up. Hope you enjoy the first part!

-

-

-

The tapping sound on your door is quite the surprise this afternoon, considering your afternoons are normally pretty quiet, and you don’t get many visitors in general. But nonetheless, you welcome it and hurry to open the door.

“Hey,” Mirabel Madrigal waves at you sheepishly. “Is it okay if we talk?”

Despite how much older she’s gotten, you recognize her instantly. But wow. It still takes a moment for you to respond. None of the Madrigals have ever gone out of their way to see you after all that happened.

“Of course!” you finally say, shuffling her in and wrapping her into a hug. “I’ve missed you so much! I don’t think I’ve really spent time with you since...since-”

“Since my ceremony,”

“Ah, yes,” you sigh. “Has it really been that long?”

“Yeah…” Mirabel exhales. “That’s...actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you about,”

“Oh, no,” you shake your head, feeling yourself quickly get defensive. “I don’t know anything more than...than he did. I don’t know why the magic didn’t work for you-”

“No that’s not it, it’s okay,” she reaches a hand out to your shoulder. “I just want to know about Bruno,”

“You say that as if talking about that will be less painful,”

“Please,” she begs. “My family rarely talks about him, and I was so young when he left. I know you guys were engaged, so you must’ve known him best, right?”

The memory earns a small smile from you, “I suppose so,”

“Could you tell me stories?” she practically jumps into a chair and motions for you to sit down as well. “What was he really like? How’d you guys fall in love? Do you know why he dis-”

“Alright, alright, slow down,” you chuckle. “It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about this,”

“Right. Sorry,”

“What have you heard about him already?”

“Well,” Mirabel shrugs. “People say he only did prophecies about bad things, so everybody thought he was scary and cursed. He ruined my Tía Pepa’s wedding and killed someone’s fish and stuff like that I guess. They’re all still pretty mad about it,”

“I understand why they might feel that way,” you try to laugh it off. “But I promise he wasn’t like that. He was so incredibly kind and loving, even if many of his efforts were misunderstood,”

“Did you always know he wasn’t like that?”

“I was hesitant to believe everything I heard about him from people in town, but no, I didn’t know for sure until I met him,” your eyes fly up to the ceiling as you recall the start of your relationship. “Your Abuela was the one who introduced us, actually. By then both of her other children were married and having their own children, so I suppose she wanted to find someone for him,”

“She set you up?”

“Well, not in the traditional sense. She introduced a lot of people to him, it was never specifically about me. At least not until she realized I was the only one who wasn’t afraid of his powers, and then I think she started pushing him more to pursue me,” you laugh. “Although I don’t think she really needed to push it, we fell for each other pretty quickly on our own,”

“Aww,” Mirabel sighs. “Can you tell me the whole story? Start from the beginning!”

You smile and nod at her interest and take a deep breath, digging into the depths of your heart and memory.

- OVER TEN YEARS AGO-

“Coming!” you call, grabbing a few things from the shelves in the back before stumbling back to the front of your family’s shop. It’s way busier than usual today, as many people in the village are buying gifts for Camilo Madrigal’s ceremony, and your shop is the hot spot for random and unique knick-knacks that will hopefully give the family a sweet surprise.

Even though everyone in the village is welcome to come, you doubt you’ll be able to make it with all these customers to serve. You might be able to get there fashionably late you suppose, or you can sneak into the back of the crowd without disturbing anything.

“Have all the custom requests been picked up?” your mom asks.

“Yes, I believe so,” you nod. “Do you think we’ll be able to make it to the ceremony?”

“I’m not sure,” she says, wrapping up a piece of colorful pottery for the next customer. “But if it starts getting close you could still go. We’ll take care of cleaning up and closing the shop for the day,”

“Really?”

“Of course. The next Madrigal will be coming of age later this year anyway, so we’ll just be sure to catch her ceremony instead,”

You thank her, and soon enough it’s close to time and you bolt out the back door. Your shop isn’t too far from the Madrigal’s home, but it’s still far enough that you have to run and you’re severely out of breath by the time you arrive.

No matter, though, you’re there just in time for the little boy to start walking towards his door.

The suspense and mystery is the best part, as no one really has any idea what each gift will be.

You watch as Camilo takes the magic candle in his tiny hands, and then reaches for the doorknob. Nothing happens for a moment, and suddenly he looks back at his Abuela and shapeshifts into her.

Everyone gasps, and Camilo shifts back to his normal self. He then looks around at the crowd and shifts into different people he sees, including some of his own family, and the crowd starts cheering.

“Do me next!”

“No, me!”

“How long can he stay as one person?”

“That’s so cool!”

After some experimenting with his new power, the party commences. You make some small talk with a few of your friends, and participate in some of the dancing.

An hour or so passes, and two particular members of the family catch your eye. Alma seems to be bringing around her son Bruno to everyone she talks to, and he doesn’t look to be having fun.

And it looks like she’s headed for you next.

You’ve never formally met either of them now that you think of it. The two sisters, Julieta and Pepa, have come into your shop a couple times, and you’ve seen some of the children running around and sometimes slip them a free trinket. But you’ve never met the head of the household, nor her only son.

“Buenas noches, are you enjoying the celebration?” she asks you.

“Oh, yes. It’s lovely as always,” you smile.

She asks your name, and then gestures to her son, “Have you ever met my son Bruno?”

“I don’t believe I have,” you shift your gaze to his eyes. “It’s a pleasure, señor,”

“Hi,” he waves awkwardly.

“What is it you and your family do, dear? Are you the one who runs that shop down the road?” Alma continues the conversation.

“Yes! That’s us,” you nod. “We were quite busy today, actually. I’m sure you’ll see a lot of our handmade items as gifts,”

“I look forward to seeing your work,” she replies. “Now, are you married?”

You chuckle and shake your head, “I haven’t gotten around to that I guess. So caught up in the family business,”

“Well, Bruno-”

“Mamá!” he hisses, taking her aside, but not so far that you can’t hear. “I think this is enough,”

“Bruno, I just want you to be happy and be able to grow this family-”

“If it hasn’t happened by now, I don’t think it ever will. And I think you know that too,” he sighs. “Please, just go enjoy the celebration mamá. I’m fine,”

With a bit of hesitation, she turns around and leaves him, walking towards Camilo again (or at least, who she thinks is Camilo at the moment).

You try to act like you weren’t listening, swaying a bit to the music and glancing around at other things going on around you.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Bruno says, grabbing your full attention once more.

“It’s no trouble at all. Really,”

“Okay,” he releases some of the tension. “It’s just- I know she means well, but I honestly don’t mind that I haven’t met someone. I know a lot of people here don’t like me anyway, and I’ve accepted that,”

He says it so casually, as if he’s so used to it that it doesn’t even phase him anymore. Hearing those words stabs a hole in your heart-you’ve never realized this is his reality. Sure, you’ve heard stories about this guy, most of which were negative, but you never thought about how he felt. He was given an incredibly difficult gift, and you suppose telling people their futures would be especially difficult if the futures themselves weren’t what they wanted to hear. It’s not like he can control what he sees.

“I’m sorry,” is all you can think to reply. “Do you want to get away from the party for a bit?”

The offer is a last minute thought, but based the tiny smile curling on his lips, maybe it was one of your better ideas.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I’d like that,”

-

Taglist: @deniedmysign​ (if anyone else wants to be on the taglist lmk!)

#bruno madrigal x reader #bruno madrigal imagine #bruno madrigal #encanto #encanto x reader #encanto imagine

[ynscrazylife]

PLEASE MAMA NAT <3

where its just a day in the life of being the adopted daughter of the BLACK WIDOW her picking us up and training us, trying to bonb with us

love your stories ♥️

Being Natasha’s Adopted Daughter Would Include . . .

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 |  Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/piratanjo

Natasha met you post-Black Widow. She was helping out Yelena with freeing the Widows’ when she came across you.

You were a teen at the time - but still brainwashed. Thankfully because of your age you hadn’t been brainwashed into doing anything too bad yet, but you were almost finished with your training.

Something struck Natasha when she saw you. Looking back on it, she assumes it was the fact that like her and Yelena, you had been put into the Red Room at a young age, and you were the first teen they saw while on these various missions.

While she was okay with fighting the other Widows’, it was hard for Natasha to fight you. At the time, she brushed it off as not wanting to hurt a kid, but she knew that she was taking a liking to you.

Which was why, when Yelena managed to free you, and you told them that you had nowhere to go, Natasha felt the need to do something about it. Unlike the other Widows’ who were adults, you couldn’t go out into the world alone and, after talking with Yelena, Natasha decided to take you along with her.

It wasn’t adoption per say, at least at first, but it was close enough.

You jumped at the opportunity to tag along with Natasha and while Yelena continued the Widows’ mission, Natasha took you back to Melina’s house., where you met Melina and Alexei.

You were wary around them at first, clinging to Natasha, but you warmed up.

However, it wasn’t long before Natasha had to go on the run again. She offered you the chance to stay there with Melina and Alexei but you had grown very close to Natasha and wanted to come with her.

So, you did.

It was difficult, escaping authority and having to constantly be moving, but it in a way it strengthened yours and Natasha’s bond. You guys got closer and learned to work together — as fighting partners as well as mother/daughter.

Which was why, not having known your biological parents or where they were, the word ‘mom’ easily fell off her lips.

It happened when you guys were eating take-out in your latest house. Natasha had passed you the water pitcher and “thanks, mom” just came so naturally.

For a second, you didn’t realize what you had said, until you looked up to see Natasha staring at you with wide eyes.

Then, it hit you. Holy shit my god. Had you just said that?? What just happened?

You got scared that Natasha would react badly, but it was the opposite. A huge grin broke out on her face and even happy tears of pure joy.

When you asked her what was going on, she said: “I’ve never been a mother.”

That’s when you smiled and hugged her and you officially agreed on becoming mother and daughter.

Natasha was worried on being a mother at first, scared that she messed it up, but after reassurance from Melina via a phone call, she fell into the role naturally.

She became much more protective.

Not that you minded.

This went on until the Avengers called upon Natasha to fight Thanos.

She brought you along with her and the team was thoroughly stunned.

“wHO ArE yOU???”

“NATASHAAAA”

Yeah, it was chaotic.

You weren’t fazed though and quickly befriended Wanda and attempted to befriend Vision.

Steve and Sam also became like uncles.

Tony was a bit more difficult because you initially blamed him for you and Natasha on the run, so you were distant at first.

You were also kinda disappointed that Clint wasn’t there. You had wanted to meet him (and Natasha wanted you to meet him) after the stories you heard.

Nonetheless, you went to Wakanda and that’s where you met Bucky. It wasn’t long before he became another uncle.

You absolutely loved fighting alongside Okoye and meeting Shuri. You were fascinated by her technology.

You also kicked ass on the battlefield.

But then . . . You lost.

You watched Bucky disappear and even though you hadn’t known him for nearly as long as Natasha and Steve did, you still felt great pain.

Then you learned to that Sam and Wanda had gotten snapped and it got worse.

The days leading after were some of the most difficult days ever.

It was the first time you had to be strong for your mom, seeing as she had lost her friends too, and you panicked at first.

But you had been her daughter for awhile now and you knew what to do. You hugged Natasha and was there for her.

In the months coming, you helped the reminding heroes rebuild the world and you eventually joined the Avengers under your mother’s lead.

You also met Clint but it wasn’t a happy meeting, really, since he had lost his family.

You continued on as an Avenger with Natasha by your side. You met Carol and she was like an aunt and was amazing.

Things started to turn on the bright side when one day Natasha walked in with a genuine smile and held papers.

You could only guess what they were for at first, but quickly was shown and freaked out (a happy freak out) after.

Adoption papers.

You jumped and yelled and screamed and cheered, unbelievably happy that this was becoming official official.

You were Natasha’s daughter.

While the past few years had been difficult, this made it all worth it. You didn’t know where you’d be without Natasha and she was always with you.

Eventually, the team had a plan to defeat Thanos.

Which felt liked a miracle.

Natasha lives because I say so.

You and her got to tag-team Thanos’ enemies.

Literally the best team since Clint and Nat.

(Clint was jealous)

Then, you got everyone back!

You were SO happy to see Bucky, Sam, and Wanda again, and so was Natasha.

After you all reunited and the world went back to semi-normal, you and Natasha visited Yelena, Alexei, and Melina who were beyond happy to see you both.

Things started to turn up again and you were so grateful to have Nat at your side.

She was the best mom EVER.

Always looking out for you and protecting you

If any of the other Avengers made the slightest of snide comments, she was on them like a bloodhound

She always reminded you to hydrate and was always asking you how you were doing

It was hard to believe that she hadn’t had any experience with children before

Well, she had, with Clint’s kids, but still

Speaking of Clint’s kids, they all looked to you like an older cousin

But getting back to Natasha

She insisted that only she would train with you, not trusting the team to not injure you (besides, she knew you best)

You loved training with Natasha too

She always made it fun, putting on music and stuff

It helped you had similar music tastes

She also would always gush to anyone but really Clint, Sam, or Bucky on how cute and adorable you were

And they definitely agreed

One time during movie night you fell asleep with your head on Nat’s shoulder

She was so happy

Made Bucky take a picture

But she did feel a little bad because you must be tired

So she carried you to your room and put you to bed, kissing you goodnight

You had missed out on a childhood so it was nice for your mom to bring you to bed

All in all Natasha was the best thing to happen to you

Despite it being tough, you were thankful for every second of it

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos @cc13723things @ycfwmalise14 @unexpected-character  (could not tag)

MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @caseyfish @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @xtraordinaryfangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @yori-nakajima @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mads-weasley @tenaciousperfectionunknown @afraid-to-be-me @lilclownx @acertainredhead @natromanoffxox @lilymurphy03 @thanossexual @avengersz-biotch @kozumekoi  @mjaudrey @un-name-d

#natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x platonic!reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff headcanon #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x y/n #black widow x you #black widow x reader #black widow headcanons #black widow imagine #black widow movie #black widow fluff #black widow angst #black widow #black widow x y/n #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel headcanons #marvel hc #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #mcu marvel avengers #marvel angst #marvel request #natasha romanoff request #mcu requests

[ahundredtimesover]

Hold Me Close | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader, ex Namjoon x Reader (ft. brother Jimin)

Genre/Tags: brother’s best friends au; (dash of) angst, fluff (sort of), smut

Warnings: foul language, feelings of insecurity, minor accident caused by inebriation, getting drunk, sexual content (oral, unprotected sex but be safe please!), JK has a hip tattoo and at some point has grey hair (18+)

Word count: 22k

Summary:  When Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.

A/N: I wanted to write something fun for a change and saw @ladyartemesia‘s brother’s best friend list and thought it would be a nice trope to explore because if there would be an ideal bratty younger brother, it would be Jimin. This was sooo much fun to write but also reminded me again of why I love my baby sister more than anyone in this world. Hope you all enjoy! 

##

Three - the number of missed calls you probably now have just in the last 5 minutes, the vibrations piercing through your pocket and onto your thigh. It might be important, but so is keeping your attention on the department Director to your right, who is complimenting the man to your left, over a proposal that you spent weeks working on. 

You force a smile because in front of your entire department isn’t really the time and place to refute and complain. It doesn’t help that Chul accepts the credit because anything to get ahead, right? 

Just another reason why you dislike this job. Perhaps your boss telling you that you’re too emotional or too soft to be in this industry has gotten to you, but then again, there’s not a bone in you that’s ambitious and competition-craved, unlike your parents. But you try, at least. It’s the least you can do for something that’s expected of their eldest child.

The Director flips a page and turns to you. “Glad you could contribute to this, Ms. Park.” 

He did assign it to you but you suppose your name just flew off his head, but you remind him anyway. 

“Thank you for the opportunity to work on it, Mr. Yoon. I’m truly learning a lot,” you fake a smile and wish for this to end.

Soon enough it does and you bow towards the managers present, one of them giving you the compliment you needed to hear, and excuse yourself before another call comes in. 

Best brother ever, the screen announces, and you curse yourself for still not changing his contact name and for having an easy-enough password to guess. 

“I swear to god, Jimin, this better be an emergency,” you cuss to the person on the other end, already boiling at the thought of him possibly calling to ask how to fix a broken toilet or what kind of oil he’s supposed to buy for frying because he’d done both too many times for you to count.

“___!” The sound of a relieved huff is what greets you, the voice familiar.

“Jungkook?”

“Yeah, hi,” he says. “Uh, we’re at the hospital.”

Your eyes widen and you scold yourself for missing the calls, but then again, you wouldn’t have known because Jimin’s wolf cries precede this moment of an actual emergency. 

“What? Why! Is my brother okay?” You cry out, hands already working on collecting your files and feet rushing towards your desk to pack up.

“Yeah,” Jungkook affirms. “He’s fine. He just—“

“I AM NOT FINE!” You hear your brother shriek in the background, sound a little soft due to distance but you don’t miss the farcical tone of his statement.

“Dude, it’s just a sprained ankle. You’ll live,” Jungkook tells him calmly, away from the phone.

You sigh in relief because Jungkook is definitely the person to believe in times like this.

“From 1 to Jimin, how dramatic is he?” You ask.

“Jimin. Times two.”

“Damn, okay. That actually seems worse than the injury itself huh?” 

Jungkook laughs in agreement. 

“I’m just packing. I’ll go to you guys right after.”

“Alright. General Hospital, emergency room. Just follow the tone of the weeping man-child.”

“I feel so empty. What am I gonna do with my life now!” You hear in the background.

You laugh at your brother’s antics because you’ve heard that exact line not long ago after his building owner told him again that he can’t have a pet in the apartment. But who knows with Jimin this time around?

“Got it. See you in a bit,” you say, then head out to hail a cab.

**

You arrive in the emergency room and follow the sound of the weeping man-child and true enough, you see your baby brother lying on the bed with his right leg nestled on pillows, ice taped on the swollen ankle.

You rush to his side and assess if there’s any other part that’s being treated. “What the hell happened to you?” You worriedly ask. “Is this because of work? God, Jimin. I told you that company overworks you! You don’t even get enough rest.”

Behind you, you could hear muffled laughter, and paired with your brother’s sheepish smile, you could already tell he got it over something silly. He’s avoiding your gaze, causing your worry to turn to frustration. 

You cross your arms and you give him a stern look. “Park Jimin, look at me and tell me what happened.”

He plays with the hem of the blanket draped over him and with a sickly sweet smile, the one he uses on you to get himself out of trouble, he says, “I may have drank and perhaps had my foot stuck in a gutter and I may also have moved about when Jungkook told me to stay still and well…” Arms laid out before him as if in presentation, “here I am!” 

He’s beaming, as if it’s something to be proud of. You know it’s his tactic but still, your brother’s ability to go from one reaction to another astounds you.

You turn to Jungkook for confirmation and he nods at the accuracy and absurdity of the situation, causing a worried feeling in the pit of your stomach because how the hell are you going to explain this to your parents? 

“You forgot the part about you screaming that you hate men and you don’t want to love anymore,” Jungkook adds. It’s classic Jimin that it actually makes you laugh. 

You, as his older sister and Jungkook, as his best friend of 15 years, should be used to this already but your brother is plucked from a classic romcom as the hot mess character and that carries with it amusement and predictability.

You're about to ask for an elaboration to put more context in the scene that’s playing in your head of a crying Jimin flailing his arms and a bemused but laughing Jungkook trying to shut him up, when the doctor comes in. 

She checks the clipboard then on Jimin. 

“Thankfully, there’s nothing broken,” she says, jotting down on a pad. She starts instructing how to properly wrap the ankle, prompting Jungkook to stand next to you and Jimin to nip at his fingernails because the brat won’t even pay attention to how to care for his own injured foot. 

After handing you the prescription, the doctor tells Jimin, “We’ll just wrap you up with a cast and give you the crutches then you can head home.”

“So I’m not staying?” He asks.

“No need,” the doctor clarifies. “It’s just sprained but it will take several weeks to properly heal and it will be sore for a while,” she states, then calls a nurse and instructs him to prepare the supplies. 

“You said you’re a dance instructor? The injury was aggravated by previous mild sprains so I require complete rest. You absolutely cannot move. Just stay in bed and follow the instructions I’ve written down.”

You and Jungkook release a sigh of relief, thankful that it’s nothing serious, the concern over what prompted his outburst temporarily at the back of your mind, until Jimin speaks up.

“But, something else feels broken.”

“What is it?” The doctor asks, suddenly worried and checks the board for anything she might’ve missed.

“My heart.”

“Yah!” You smack Jimin’s arm in embarrassment, which he returns with a smack on yours, a common sight for you both and Jungkook who’s bared witness to the violence you and your brother inflicted upon each other growing up.

The doctor rolls her eyes. “She’ll come back,” she says, then heads towards the door.

Jimin scrunches his nose in annoyance. “She’s a he, by the way!” He shouts, causing the others present to turn to him, as if such a situation is scandalous. 

“Do… you have a boyfriend I don’t know about?” You nervously ask. 

While your 3-year gap sibling relationship is rooted in violence that’s caused bruises, buckets of tears, timeouts, and your parents almost giving up on making you two get along at many points of your lives, you and Jimin have somehow grown up and have found the right balance of telling each other important things while also staying out of each other’s business. 

The “growing up” only happened midway through his college life, when he realized that even with his best friend next to him, you were still his lifeline in the big city of Seoul and the only other reminder of home. 

Because even with him knowing what it takes to make it in the competitive entertainment industry as a choreographer, in his heart, he’s still the younger child who’s used to being taken care of. That meant regularly demanding your presence in his dorm when he was still studying and then crashing your place when he’d started working. For food, mostly. The ranting about things just came naturally after.

“It’s Tae,” he shyly reveals, meeting your eyes for the first time and suddenly, he’s your little brother again, the one whose snacks you used to prepare or whose wounds you used to treat when your parents weren’t home or were too tired from work.

“Your roommate?”

“Yeah. He left today because he got this photography gig where he gets to travel the world.”

“I didn’t know you had a thing,” you say.

“We didn’t,” he huffs out in frustration. “I didn’t know I liked him until he said he booked a one-way ticket and didn’t know when he'd be coming back. And he was so excited and I was really happy for him but also felt like it was too late. Like should I have said anything? What if he felt the same way? Would he have stayed?” He sighs, looking sullen this time.

“He may have, or he would still be taking the trip. Regardless, no one should be giving up on dreams for anybody, Chim. That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” you say, not meaning to sound as if you’re reprimanding him, but the look he gives is enough to tell you that he understands. He’s heard variations of that same sentiment before, anyway. 

Jungkook feels the tension in the air and breaks it by stating that he’ll be driving everybody home.

“I’ll be staying with my sister,” Jimin announces, his annoying smile now back, and he knows you can’t say no; by obligation or by choice, you won’t tell.

“There goes my weekend,” you gripe. 

“I won’t be a nuisance, I promise,” he says then crosses his heart, like it actually means anything.

“You’re a nuisance even when you’re not injured, what more now?”

“I’m not that bad,” he defends.

“Oh, but you are.” You turn to Jungkook. “You know, I actually tried to push him back in our mom’s vagina but even her uterus didn’t want him anymore.”

“Ouch okay, I will pretend I didn’t hear that,” and you all laugh as Jimin is transferred to the wheel chair and pushed by the nurse, signaling Jungkook to go ahead and retrieve his car.

**

You arrive at your apartment with a Jimin-clad Jungkook in tow, the worry of not having cleaned up quickly dissipating because this is your brother, and he shouldn’t complain. 

Jungkook assists Jimin in the bathroom while you set up your bed by piling up pillows for his foot. 

“I don’t have clean sheets for the sofa bed in the other room,” you say, “and it’s not cleaned up, as I didn’t expect to house an injured child this weekend. Just sleep on my bed first.”

Jungkook guides Jimin to your bed and helps him settle in, with your brother looking all smug with the treatment he’s getting because he knows you don’t give up your bed that easily.

“What about you?” Jungkook asks, seemingly more worried about your inconvenience than the actual cause of it.

“I’m fine with the couch. Wouldn’t wanna sleep here with him and accidentally hit his foot. He might murder me or something.”

“Thanks, Sis. I’m very comfortable here. I think I’ll be sleeping well tonight,” Jimin states, then yawns, drowsiness kicking in from the medication.

You roll your eyes and close the door. You lead Jungkook to your kitchen and offer him a drink.  

“I’m sorry for him, Kook. Did he drag you out of work?” You ask. 

“Just had to call the tattoo parlor and reschedule my Friday appointments,” he says, downing the glass of water. “He was pretty emotional over the phone and wanted to drink at 4PM and well, you know the rest.”

“Ugh, such a pain in the ass,” you mutter, massaging your temples. “But was he serious about the whole Tae thing?”

“Seemed like it. I think it just took an abrupt change for him to realize what he felt,” he explains. “But you know him - falls fast, moves on faster. He’ll be okay. You’re here,” he continues, flashing you his bunny smile, the one that used to cause you to pinch his puffy cheeks out of cuteness. 

But that’s when he was a lanky 10-year old with his awkward front bangs. The man in front of you now sports long dark locks and a sharp jawline, tattooed arms and probably a built figure, if the way he carried your brother as if he’s a feather is any indication of his strength. His bambi eyes, usually scrunched large nose, and child-like smile are the only things that remain from that memory of him. 

“You know I can’t stand my brother for long periods of time, Kook,” you pout, earning you an amused laugh.

“He actually already invited me over the weekend, asked me to bring my PS4 so we could play.”

“That bitch has to rest, what is he talking about?” 

“Same thing I told him. I’ll just make up some reason that my player caught fire or that I dropped it while running or something.”

You give him a straight face. “The hell would he buy that? You can just not bring it.”

“I’m just gonna match his drama,” Jungkook shrugs, earning him your laugh, which for him is all tones of sweet and soothing. 

A smile forms on his face at the thought of making you laugh like this, something he secretly enjoys. This particular sound would most likely be etched in his mind, among the several others that he caused. 

There was that time when you caught him doing chubby bunny as a consequence and seeing him stuffed with marshmallows made you secretly giggle because 15-year old you didn’t want to indulge in their silly antics; Jungkook heard it though. 

There was that other time during Jimin’s 14th birthday at an arcade, Jungkook went over the basketball game’s railing to get the highest score and you alternated between scolding him and laughing your butt off. He snuck the tickets he won in your pile though so you would have enough to get the Tinkerbell tea set because he knew your obsession with fairies.

When you visited home for their high school graduation, you all cooked dinner and he overdid the glazed sweet potatoes, causing them to get stuck on the plate. You tried to hold your laugh but gave up once he started dancing; he was so embarrassed but that’s when he knew he’d willingly make a fool of himself to hear you laugh like that. 

And 3 years ago, your large group of friends went on a ski trip. He was attempting to run up the slope but kept sliding, and even from a distance, he could pick out which laughter was yours; it was probably the only remedy to an otherwise heartbreaking weekend, considering that you were there with your then-boyfriend, Namjoon. 

Reminiscing those causes his heart to feel like floating, like always, then the words “nobody dates my sister” pulls that heart down to crash into reality, like always, too, the reality being that you’re his best friend’s older sibling. 

You’ve been off-limits since Jimin threatened Jungkook and their other friends about cutting off their dicks if anybody tried to date you when they were 16, but you were probably off-limits even before that. Jungkook mentally shakes his head. 

He doesn’t like being told what to do but then again, Jimin is his best friend, the tiny feisty 10-year old who fought off the bullies who tried to take Jungkook’s snacks. It had been them against the world since then, and so far, the only person he thinks who’d ever come between them is you.

Jungkook is pulled out of his thoughts at your call of his name, prompting you to repeat what you just said.

“I said, thanks again for being there for my brother like, ever since. If it was just me I would’ve disowned him a long time ago.”

Jungkook giggles, already used to the drama that is your sibling relationship. He’d witnessed too many wrestling matches, scream fests, and pulled pranks in the last 15 years. While you’ve both gone past those, your complaints about each other is something you haven’t really outgrown yet. 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t disown him,” Jungkook chuckles, the words ‘he’s the only link I have to you’ quickly dissipating in his mind. 

“You know he just craves your attention and riling you up is the way he does it, younger sibling and all. I would’ve done that if my brother wasn’t 7 years older. Jimin tends to be immature around you but he’s the best person I know. I wouldn’t have survived anything if it weren’t for him.”

This brings a smile to your face, their origin story warming your heart more than you care to admit. Your brother is fierce and a fighter, you’d give him that.

“Well, he’s just as lucky to have you, Kook.”

It’s the tenderness in your voice that makes him feel like he’d just won a prize, and he wishes you don’t notice the flush of his cheeks. If you do, you don’t mention it, because not long after, you say that you’ll wash up, signaling him that it’s time to go. 

Jungkook drives home that night feeling like his pre-adolescent self, the giddy feeling of when you first pinched his cheeks the same one he feels right now. It’s when he first developed his crush on you - you’d been arguing with Jimin and said you wished he was as behaved and as adorable as Jungkook, prompting your brother to point out Jungkook’s large nose, which you responded with by saying it adds to his charm. 

Petty fights, like always, but it’s when you told him to not listen to what other people say if they’re out to put him down did Jungkook realize that you and Jimin were cut from the same cloth. 

Soon after, every little moment with you, every glimpse of your life outside of being his best friend’s sister became more and more enthralling to him. The fact that you were getting prettier each year just served to solidify his affection for you. And also made it difficult to hide his hard-on every time you’d show up for breakfast in your cloth shorts when he’d sleep over your parents’ house, or when he’d see you in your pretty outfits in the bars you all frequented once he was in Seoul for college. 

He’d let himself think of you during the times he wasn’t in a relationship, and he’d slowly let go of the bit of hope he’d have every time you were in one, partly because your relationships were usually long-term, compared to his, and also because your ex-boyfriends were nothing like him, which is safe to say that he wasn’t your type. 

Maybe it was the age, the level of maturity, maybe it was the sense of security, maybe he’s just not the kind of guy who could give you what you want, although honestly he doesn’t know exactly what that is. 

But if Namjoon - your intelligent, upstanding, businessman ex-boyfriend who was also really handsome and kind - and your subsequent heartbreak are anything to go by, then Jungkook is clearly reaching for the stars with you. Not that you’re out of his league, but he’s more like in the outskirts, just lying in the edges, the border between what’s possible and what isn’t, but definitely far from the center of action. Even tonight, the most time you’d spent together in years that wasn’t in a party, was because Jimin had been hurt. 

If anything, though, his long standing admiration for you hadn’t really gone away. And he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

**

The weekend with Jimin staying with you wasn’t that unbearable, primarily because he was rendered immobile on your bed and was usually sleepy. You were thankful that Jungkook dropped by to keep your brother company while you caught up on errands and chores. 

With another work week coming filled with meetings and events, you had Jimin stay with Jungkook first. He insisted it wasn’t a bother; his work as a freelance artist and a part-time tattooist gives him control of his time.

It’s the weekend after the incident when you hear a knock on the door, not expecting to see Jimin with his casted ankle and crunches; behind him are 3 large luggages and a few boxes. 

You’re just about to process the sight before you when he says, “I got sacked from the company when I said I couldn’t get back to work next week. And I can’t afford to pay rent anymore, even if I get a roommate and I…” he turns to you, almost shameful, “I have nowhere else to go.”

You sigh because really, your relationship with your brother is hinged on fights you don’t really mean, pettiness that drives you crazy, and an unconditional love that you both deny but undeniably share. So you open the door wider and laugh at his “you’re the best sister in the world” claim and your usual response of “you only have one.”

Jungkook arrives with the last box and you help bring in all the stuff that seems never-ending, making you wonder how these fit in his car and how he managed to bring everything, including your brother.

“Park Jimin, you have so much stuff! You might as well have hired a mover,” you cry out.

“Oh I did,” Jimin answers, pointing to Jungkook.

You cock an eyebrow because obviously, movers get paid. 

“I told him you said you’re gonna make us dinner.”

“Except I didn’t,” you scrunch your eyebrows and turn to Jungkook, amused at his sudden change of expression, bambi eyes widening at his innocence. 

“I swear, he seemed so convincing,” Jungkook claims, hands held up as if in surrender. He bites his lips and looks at the ground. “I can just go, really. I’ll just force him to treat me to lunch when he’s healed and I can wrestle him if he doesn’t.”

“Don’t be silly, Kook. Stay for dinner,” you crack a smile. You walk to your kitchen and take out the pork belly to thaw. “I won’t make you steak though. That’s reserved for my wine nights when I want to bask in my singleness,” you call out. 

“Also,” you turn to Jimin, “you don’t deserve my steak.”

Your brother laughs, knowing that it’s your way to mask the kindness you’re showing. 

Later that night, with dinner out of the way and your spare bedroom set up for Jimin to stay, you guide him to the sofa bed and make sure his foot is elevated, bell just within his reach that you instructed him to ring when he needs you. 

“Thanks, ___. You—”

“Are the best sister in the world, I know,” you cut him off.

“I was gonna say you should get some rest and to not worry about me. I’ll be fine,” he smiles.

You nod and head out the room, the worried look on your face not going unnoticed by Jungkook, who’d just finished wiping the dishes.

“Everything okay, ___?” 

You heave out a sigh.

“What the fuck am I gonna do with him, Kook?” You ask, the reality of your injured and now unemployed brother dawning on you. “What am I gonna tell my parents?” 

Oddly enough, it’s when you and Jimin were finally adults did your parents think to check up on you both. Perhaps living under the same roof didn’t warrant that, but with both children now living independently hundreds of miles away from them, they’ve ensured to call every week. Your conversations mostly revolve around Jimin, though, the words “take care of your brother” not having an expiration date, apparently. 

You know the weight of the words - it’s not just because you’re older but because by your parents’ standards, you’re also the more stable and financially secure one by nature of your 9-5 corporate job in a fancy building that requires you to wear corporate attires, in contrast to Jimin’s late-nights in a dance studio busting moves in sweats. 

Your parents are partial to your kind of work, given that they’ve spent more than half their lives in the same field and always wished you’d both do the same, even if you promised yourself you wouldn’t give in to the world that took so much of your parents’ time from you. 

Much as you want to believe you’re just doing your job as the older child by entering the industry, you were too much of a people-pleaser who just wanted to make her parents proud. 

Jimin, on the other hand, was smart enough to only apply to the performing arts programs of prestigious universities in Seoul and was good enough to actually land a scholarship in the same school as you; your parents were backed in a corner and couldn’t do anything. 

You’d never tell Jimin but you always admired him for that; it takes a lot to stand up to your parents without actually standing up to them. You’re just glad that between the both of you, someone was brave enough to go for what they genuinely wanted.

“Tell them the truth?” Jungkook shrugs. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“You act like you don’t know what my parents are like.”

True, Jungkook thinks, but he also knows things have improved on their end. “Well, if anything, they’re more receptive now. They would congratulate Jimin on the choreographies they’d see those idol groups dance. They ask him about work, too.”

You smile at the thought, something your brother never mentioned, but you can imagine how happy that might’ve made him. Jimin, as you’ve found out, is a sweetheart to his friends - affectionate in all ways and very expressive - something he isn’t to you and your parents. The same can be said about you, and you soften at the thought that you and Jimin really aren’t that much different from each other. 

Jungkook picks up on the thoughts going through your head. “He probably didn’t tell you because you know him, he’d go all soft if he does, and Jimin has this persona when it comes to you. And it isn’t the soft one.”

“Goes both ways, I guess.”

“It’s not the end of the world, and he doesn’t seem to think so. He’s going to be fine.”

**

Jimin, in all sense of the word, is not fine. It took a few days until he cracked. He went from being an obedient patient who followed the doctor’s order of staying in bed, to one who constantly walked around and complained that he had nothing to do. 

Going on dating apps makes him sad, looking at job openings makes him sad, not being able to move and dance makes him sad. And your heart breaks for him, knowing what it’s like to lose your sense of direction and motivation at the loss of something or someone important. You allow him to let out his frustrations, though, listen to him when he rants, feed him his favorite food, and call Jungkook over with his PS4 that isn’t actually broken.

In fact, calling Jungkook has been your go-to, especially when you’re running out of things to say to comfort Jimin. Most times it’s really just so they could play PS4 together, prompting Jungkook to leave it at your place so Jimin could stay preoccupied and not feel too down when the job lists come up empty. He tires easily though, and it’s after he’s been tucked in bed that you usually settle for a cup of tea in the kitchen, Jungkook now the one listening to you talk.

It usually starts with the topic of Jimin, followed by some memory from your childhood that you and Jungkook get hysterical over, followed by a story about your work, and then a story about his. His stories are more interesting though. He shows you the paintings and digital pieces he makes for clients, and tells you amusing bits about his tattooing gig like amusing patterns and memorable customers. 

Hearing all this sends warmth through you because of how much he’s grown. While you’re only 3 years older, you met Jungkook when he was a shy 10 year-old, a complete opposite to you and Jimin’s naturally sociable selves. He went from smiling sheepishly to joking around and giving you high-fives in the 5 years before you went to Seoul to study.

Of course he’s grown when he followed your brother to the same university, having seen him with different girls, going to the same parties because your friends had taken a liking to him, and attending his art exhibitions. He went from greeting you under his breath to calling out to you at a bar while he’s surrounded by his peers. 

This was the kid who used to follow your brother around - even joined the dance club in high school - and would dunk his head in water if you asked him to, but now he’s forged his own path, doing what he loves, and enjoying every bit of his time that he controls. 

Personally, you’re also just happy that he can be available for your brother and for you, too, seeing that the nights you used to spend forcing yourself to sleep are now spent in good conversation with him. 

He’s also gotten way more attractive in the past few years, something you’ve only noticed now. Perhaps it has much to do with the physical closeness when you talk - your kitchen bar isn’t that long, anyway - where you’re able to pay more attention to his defined jawline, his dark eyes that anybody could get lost in, the curve of his nose, and the perfectly-placed beauty marks on his face. Come to think of it, maybe Jungkook has always been handsome, but you stop your thoughts before they go anywhere restricted.

It’s one Saturday night when you arrive home, after having drinks with your friends, to a very drunk Jimin and a tipsy Jungkook, gorging on fried chicken. Just thinking of cleaning up is already giving you a headache, which is aggravated by your brother’s drunk singing of classic yet cringey sad love songs. 

“Yah! Look at the mess you’ve made,” you smack Jimin’s arm, pointing to the chicken crumbs on the floor. “And alcohol, seriously? You can barely walk properly and now you’re drinking?”

“I’m injured, unemployed, homeless, and heartbroken. Leave me alone,” is all he says, then proceeds to belt out an insanely high note that pierces your ears and which causes Jungkook to laugh, used to this already and may have been enduring this the past hour or so. 

“He’s been like this for the past 4 hours,” Jungkook says. 

“And you let him?”

At the final high note, Jimin passes out on the couch, body limp over the empty space to his left.

“He wanted to drink his frustrations away, thought it might help,” Jungkook responds.

You sigh in annoyance but think he’s right, too. Jimin was out drinking his frustrations the night he got injured but at least now he’s doing it in the safety of your home. 

“I guess,” you shrug. “Can you take him to his room before he severs his neck?”

Jungkook laughs but follows. He carries Jimin over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and you pretend to not look hot and bothered at how easily he could carry your dead-weight brother. 

You follow to the room shortly and place an aspirin and orange juice on the side table, knowing it’s Jimin’s hangover drink. You remove the strands of hair that have stuck to his forehead and tuck him under the covers. 

Jungkook looks at you fondly; for someone who always claims you should’ve disowned her brother, you sure have a very affectionate way of showing it.

You step out of the room and take in Jungkook’s tipsy state, red cheeks and glassy eyes giving him away. 

“You should stay,” you tell him. “You drank and I doubt you’d sober up anytime soon, but try anyway.”

He nervously accepts but not for the reasons you think. He’s nervous because aside from those sleepovers at your house when you were younger, this is the first time he’s sleeping under the same roof as you, and that makes him giddy but anxious at the same time. He hopes you don’t catch him mid-dream saying your name; that would be too awkward to explain.

He goes back to the living room post-shower, a blanket and large pillow on the couch and you, tucked in the corner with a glass of juice. 

“Did you want to sleep already? I can go to my room if you are.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m not that sleepy yet, you can stay.” 

He refuses your offer of a drink. Unsure of the appropriate distance from you now that there’s space to go around, he settles on the other end of the couch. You smile at him as he sinks on the corner and he smiles back as you take baby sips from the glass. You both settle in comfortable silence, appreciating the quiet as a reprieve from the mind-numbing noise from earlier. 

You take a big gulp and he couldn’t hold the chuckle at your wide eyes hidden behind the glass. 

“So I’m guessing your hangover drink is apple juice?” He asks, not missing the similarity with your brother.

“Yeah. Jimin hates it so I’m sure he’ll never take it. He used to finish all the orange juice at home and I was mad because I wanted orange juice, too,” you say with a pout. Jungkook’s heart skips a beat at how adorable you look and goes for an ah, that’s why face because he remembers you fighting Jimin over it before.

“So you just switched to apple juice?”

“Yeah, pretty much. It’s really good. I thought he’d switch too just to annoy me but he said he really doesn’t like it.”

“Look at you two, being all civilized for once,” Jungkook teases. You throw a pillow at him and laugh at his comment, but you don’t disagree.

“Yah! We’ve always been civilized, okay?” 

“Now that is a lie. May I remind you of the time you two wrestled in front of me over a piece of pop tart. How you tackled him to the ground and he pulled your hair and the innocent treat was crushed in the process.”

“Hey, I was 15 and I called dibs on the strawberry!”

“Or that time you both wanted to watch different movies and had me choose and I felt like I was signing a death sentence either way? But it didn’t matter because you still got into a pillow fight?”

“His choices were always so boring!”

“Or that time when…”  You throw him another pillow. 

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. We weren’t always civilized,” you give up, laughing so hard with him at the memories. “You witnessed the worst parts of us, huh?”

“I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow. 

“Well, you were the only one who stayed. The rest of your friends would run out once Jimin and I started going at it.” 

He laughs at this because if only you knew why he always stayed. He actually liked that you’d let him referee you two, he felt wanted. 

“Hmm, it takes a lot to handle the Park siblings, I don’t blame them.”

“Wow, Jeon Jungkook. Calling out your elder. Where is this bravery coming from?” You tease.

“I drank, remember?”

“Not much though.”

He shrugs. He doesn’t know, too, but he likes seeing you look flustered. “Enough liquid courage, I guess.”

You deem his answer satisfactory but it does make you recall all those petty fights growing up. 

“Sorry you had to witness all that,” you say, giving him a shy smile. “Our personalities were always just clashing and it was harder not to fight each other.”

“I think you two are just so similar, that’s why.” 

You look at Jungkook, eyes wide at the statement you’d only ever thought to yourself. 

“He thinks the world of you, you know?” He continues, sensing your now serious demeanor. “He used to tell the mean older kids that you’re his sister and you’ll fight them if they hurt him because he just knows you’d protect him no matter what.” 

You laugh and roll your eyes but Jungkook knows you agree.

“For schoolwork, he would always write about you as his role model or the person he looks up to.” Jungkook doesn’t miss how your eyes soften at this. “He never found out that I knew but I’ve read parts, how he wanted to be strong and kind like you, to be independent and smart and hardworking like you.”

Maybe it’s the remnants of alcohol, or this apple juice is just fucking delicious but you’re getting emotional.

“And honestly, I don’t think that’s changed. He’ll always look up to you, whether he’ll say it or not.”

And there goes the water works, causing panic in Jungkook and he immediately goes to you. Noticing your non-movement, he uses the edges of his hoodie to wipe the tears that have begun flowing from your eyes. He stills for a moment but seeing how you haven’t pushed him away, he continues. 

You look up at him with watery eyes and quivering lips. Somehow you should be embarrassed but something about Jungkook having seen the worst of you and being nothing but a huge help these past few weeks, you feel safe. No judgment whatsoever, just an air of understanding and care.

“Why are you telling me this?” You ask, and Jungkook feels weak at how you look. He didn’t mean to make you sad but all he wants to do now is hug you until you feel better.

“Because you’ve been so worried and so hard on yourself, as if it’s only your burden to carry.”

You try to object but he cuts you. “Jimin’s an adult. He’s crying and drinking and sulking but that’s normal. He’ll be fine and get himself together. I know that. Even he knows that. You know why? Because it’s what he’s seen you do.” Jungkook wipes another stray tear.

“Whether it’s a breakup or a work thing, he’s seen you take hits but never back down, never let anybody walk all over you, never let them take away the best parts of you. He’s struggled before, too, but he always got back up.”

“He’s good and strong that way,” you reply softly.

“Like I said, he has a good role model,” he smiles, nudging your shoulder. 

It’s meant to be playful but it’s comforting for you, and you’re leaning on his shoulder before you know it, ignoring the way he briefly stills at your action. 

“You’re a good person, Kook. We’re lucky to have you.”

You’re so close to him and he can feel the heat radiate from you. It’s too quiet that he’s afraid you’d hear the thrumming of his heart, from your words and the affection behind your still head on his shoulder. The situation calls for it, he thinks, so he lays his hand on your back and rubs circles on it.

He’ll chalk it up to liquid courage again if you ask, but you don’t. Instead you snuggle closer, chasing his warmth. He swears he could pass out with just this, but he tortures himself more by holding you even closer and he swears, even with his thick hoodie, he could feel your smile.

**

Over a month since the gutter incident - as you like to call it - you, Jimin, and Jungkook have found a pattern of cohabitation, and yes, that includes Jungkook, seeing as how he’s become a staple in your household and your life. 

At some point, Jimin had sulked less and would spend his time watching dance videos to remind himself of the feeling, even if it was just virtual. He’d even expanded his choice of employment by checking job openings as a fitness instructor and a ballet teacher for children. 

He’d also done his regular foot exercise once the pain became bearable. Still unemployed and heartbroken though, he’s been shameless in making your place his own home, with most of his belongings now removed from their boxes, and inviting Jungkook over any time, any day. Not that you minded though, since he’s been nothing but a literal angel.

Living in a studio on his own, Jungkook usually has ramen or street food as dinner, which is why Jimin used to invite him over his shared apartment with Taehyung so that Jungkook could at least have home cooked meals every once in a while. 

It’s why he’s often over your place on weeknights he doesn’t have a shift at the tattoo parlor. That and because Jimin still wants him over to play video games. Jungkook brings food over or pays for delivery though, and you welcome the initiative. 

On weekends, you’re all busy doing your own thing in the living room together, which carries over to movie nights. The young ones pass up on their friends’ invites to a party while you, well, your friends would rather spend their weeknights with their partners instead. So your night of basking in your singleness now means doing so with your brat of a brother and his dependable best friend.

It’s a Saturday afternoon when you get home from doing errands and you find both men in your living room, with Jimin reading a book on some dancer’s biography and Jungkook busy on his laptop. Your brother’s face pops on the screen and you decide it’s not a personal matter so you plop next to Jungkook on the floor and softly rest your chin on his shoulder, something you’ve maybe done once or twice before.

“What you up to?” You ask, an impressed look on your face at the snippets of Jimin dancing, some of which you’ve never seen before. 

“I’m working on his application video,” he says, pointing to your brother. “Since he’s not able to dance when he tries for jobs, he thinks sending them a video to show his skills will help.”

“Oh, like a visual CV of some sort?”

“Yes!” Jimin states. “Want them to know what they’re missing out on, and that’s a lot.”

You roll your eyes but mentally agree; your brother is the most talented person you know. 

“Kookie’s been kind enough to work on it for me although he’s been on it for hours,” he continues, a playful smile on his face.

“Give him a break, Chim. He’s done so much for you already,” you say, getting your own laptop and setting it up on the table.

“Nah, it’s the least I can do. He’s helped me so much, ___.”

“He fought off your bullies 15 years ago…” You cock an eyebrow.

Jungkook chuckles. “Yes. And more. Helped me with school work, my confidence, my social skills…”

“Gave him tips to woo girls because he was too shy to ask them on dates,” Jimin adds.

“Hmm,” you mumble. “What you gotta be shy for? Just flash them your smile or show them your toned arms, they’ll probably jump on you right there,” you say nonchalantly, unaware of the way Jungkook’s heart stills at your comment.

“He doesn’t want them to jump on him, ___. He wants them to actually like him, or love, whatever. He’s a romantic, you know,” Jimin teases. “Would travel to the ends of the earth or fight to the death for the woman he loves, whoever she is,” he says matter-of-factly, unaware of the way Jungkook’s breath hitches because if Jimin only knew.

“Aww, Kook. That’s cute,” is all you say, smile genuine though, he wishes he could see it everyday. But cute, really? That’s it?

He chooses not to dwell on it and instead asks you what you’re up to, to which you respond that it’s a presentation you have to work on. You’re frustrated at your lack of design eye and it looks so bare; you want it to look professional but still eye-catching.

“Maybe I can help!” Jungkook states.

But of course, you think. You’ve been accommodating an actual graphic designer in your home, surely it’s fair that he help you out, right?

“Yes please, Kook. I need to blow these people away with my smarts and my non-existent creativity,” you laugh. 

Jungkook sets aside his laptop, adoringly quick to prioritize helping you, and works on your presentation. He knows just the right color and font combo, even helping out on which details to include, what visuals to add, and how to make it exactly how you want. 

You’re amused at how easily he works on it. He's meticulous, working on the size of the texts and the angles of the patterns. Jimin chides him for his perfectionism but unbeknownst to both of you, Jungkook’s laser focus is a means of distraction with how physically close you’ve been to him the past hour, eyes flicking from him to the screen.

He wants this to last but also can’t wait for it to be over because of how nervous he is, especially with your constant praises for something really basic, but which he finds so charming all the same. 

Pretty soon he finishes and returns your laptop to you and retrieves his, quick to get back to work and focus on something else, which still proves futile once you remove your sweater to reveal a camisole underneath, and tie your hair on a high bun, thus exposing more of your shoulders and neck. 

He shakes off the tingles he feels, pretends to be completely unbothered by his attraction towards you that seems to intensify day-by-day. He looks forward to seeing you, and when he doesn’t, he yearns to. He’d been used to admiring you from afar but these past weeks showed that he has all the reasons to admire you even up close. 

You’re just as brilliant, feisty, and funny; sassy too like Jimin but in a captivating way, yet so kind-hearted just the same. 

The three of you settle in a comfortable silence, each busy with your own task at hand. With your knees touching Jungkook’s, your questions on any additions you make on the presentation, and him asking for your approval on the video (which he seeks, oddly enough from you and not from Jimin), your eventual quick agreement on dinner and your teamwork in preparing it, it all feels so familiar, like it’s home.

**

The next evening, you find yourself sandwiched between Jungkook to your right and Jimin to your left, who moved from his center seat to lie down, with half of his tiny body settled comfortably on top of you and Jungkook. Your brother insisted on watching “How to Be Single” tonight, like a slap to all your faces.

It’s during one of the scenes with the protagonist’s ex when Jimin randomly asks, “___, do you regret breaking up with Namjoon?”

It may seem like a question out of left field, but with everything that’s happened, Jimin has been quite reflective lately, particularly about love. He’s had his fair share of partners but unlike you, is more a feeler than a thinker; gets out of relationships as fast as he gets into them; takes it one day at a time whereas you always have to consider the future. 

You don’t need to ponder on the question; you’ve gone through this multiple times with your best friends but never really with your brother. 

“Sometimes. But there was too much on the line and it was unfair to both of us if we carried on.” You sigh, recalling the moment you both decided it wouldn’t work. “It was something we had to do but doesn’t mean it hurt any less.”

Jimin hums, thinking back to the days he’d barge in your apartment and ask for leftovers when really, he just wanted to be near you so you had someone to cry to, just in case. That was over 2 years ago and it took you a year to finally say that you were over the relationship. He used to note your choice of words - “I’m over us,” never “I’m over him.” 

Next to you, Jungkook is picking on his nails, unsure if he should be part of the conversation. He’d heard about the break up since you had common friends. It was quite the shock, knowing how you and Namjoon were. 

You pick up this nervous habit, aware that he might not know what really happened. It wasn’t a secret but there was more to the story. 

“We just wanted different things,” you say then turning to both of them, “so you two better make sure you’re on the same page with the person you date, talk about what lies ahead, what you want, what you’re willing to compromise and what you aren’t.”

“That’s good advice, yeah Kookie?” Jimin says. 

“Why you focusing on me?” Jungkook asks. 

“You’re the one focused on the dating, not the settling. You avoid those conversations.”

“You don’t want to settle?” You ask, now curious. You’ve seen him with girlfriends but thinking back now, his relationships never really lasted.

“It’s not that,” he glares at Jimin. “I’m more of a live-in-the-moment kind of guy. Thinking about the future is great, I mean, any mature individual does that, it’s just…” 

He heaves out a sigh, hoping he’s not shooting himself in the foot with his statement. “What good is the future if you don’t take care of what you have right now? Isn’t the present more important because it’s what’s assured? The future is literally dependent on that, so the now is what I want to focus on.” 

He rests his head on the couch, nervous of your reaction. He knows you’re a planner, needs to see things far ahead to know what to do. 

There’s no one way to go about life, he acknowledges that. He just doesn’t want you to think he’s not a serious guy. With his developing feelings for you, not seeing him as a potential partner is literally the worst thing that could happen.

Jimin continues with the movie he paused but in your mind, all you could think about was what Jungkook said. If you and Namjoon hadn’t obsessed about the future, would things have been different? Would you still be together? 

The sinking feeling comes at the realization that maybe they still wouldn’t. What if your ‘present’ with him then wasn’t good enough in the first place? That the “could be” was more exciting than the “what is”? Suddenly there’s clarity, you just don’t know if it’s the good kind. 

Still, it doesn’t keep you from sinking further down the couch until you’re leaning on Jungkook’s shoulder. And like the few times that you have, there’s a comforting feeling in the act. 

“You must’ve made your ex-girlfriends really happy, huh Kook?” You ask, head shuffling near his upper arm. “Focusing on the present and the moments and all that.” 

You wish it was something you did, but Namjoon was just like you. 

“I guess you could say that,” he answers shyly. 

“But that was just it though, right Kook?” Jimin says. “Made them happy but not enough to fall in love.”

This prompts you to look at him, wide eyes full of questions. “How come?”

He turns to you and if he tried enough, Jimin right behind you would blur and there’s just you, overhead light illuminating the best parts of your face which is, well, everything. You’re absolutely breathtaking. 

And at your question - how come he never fell in love - comes his own realization. For all of his talk of living in the moment, tucked in the corner of his mind is the thought of the future he’s only ever dreamed about, the one that he’s always wanted, well, with you. 

“I - I actually don’t know.”

**

Adopting your brother, and by extension Jungkook, isn’t as bad as you expected. Sure, Jimin is still a diva and annoys you just because he wants to, but he makes you laugh more, compliments your cooking more, and encourages you to go out and have fun. Most times you do, but if you’re being honest, you’ve been enjoying time spent with him and Jungkook more.

Your movie and PS4 nights are chaotic and only egos are harmed. You and Jungkook help Jimin with job hunting, monitor his practice dancing, and watch dance videos with him. Two months since the gutter incident, you’ve gone to the park, the beach, and the river, perfected making choco-walnut cookies, and built fairy houses. 

Your days are more tiring yet satisfying, as if your apartment actually feels like a sanctuary, save for Jimin’s provocation leading to your bickering, but even that has become a welcome addition in your daily life as well.

Jungkook though is altogether a different story. You two have gone grocery shopping together more than once, had spent some mornings on a run, and some weeknights he even picks you up from work then you both grab some of Jimin’s favorite food for dinner. Those are on top of the many nights you’ve spent drinking whatever in the living room, bidding him goodnight either out the door or on your couch. You’re not exactly sure what to make of the giddiness but you shut down whatever unusual feeling there is before they start to mean anything more.

**

It started with a missed deadline, then an oversight of a risk, then your workmate Chul getting the last laugh. Sometimes, no matter how good you think things are going, all it takes is an extremely bad week, made up of extremely bad moments, to make you doubt yourself. You think some more, then you end up doubting everything else.

Am I good enough for this job? Can I really make a career here? Is this what I really want? Is this going to make me happy? Why the fuck am I still single? It’s the sudden feeling of uncertainty that overwhelms you, makes you second-guess, and suddenly you’re not as stable and secure as you thought you were. 

It’s this feeling that you carry over the day after at your friend Jin’s and his wife’s baby shower. Between their growing family, Yoongi’s hit-making record label, Hoseok’s renewed contract as a travel show host, Yuri’s PhD, and Na-eun’s engagement to her college boyfriend, you feel so… lost. Like you’re just getting by, just letting time pass until there’s something big and meaningful to look forward to again, whatever that is. 

Of course your friends would never make you feel any less; that’s really on you, which is probably worse.

The party is on full swing; gifts have been given and time has come for full-on socializing where you all get to talk about how great your individual lives are. Except for you. And maybe Eun-ha on the corner who doesn’t seem to be happy being here, but that’s not your problem. 

Somewhere near the bar is Jungkook, beer in hand and clearly enjoying himself. He’s a staple in events like this and he fits right in with everyone else - self-assured, content, in control, and may be on his way to a date, seeing as how that pretty girl hasn’t left his side all afternoon. Not that you were monitoring, though. 

For once, you’re actually hoping Jimin was here so you can whine together, but the group he used to choreograph for invited him to their concert, so there’s that. 

You’re on your third glass of champagne when you head inside Jin’s enormous house, away from the laughter and obvious put-together lives of your friends, when you see him, the man who was once your embodiment of stability, of a “good and secure life,” as your parents had said. 

He sees you, flashes his dimple-bearing smile, and walks towards you, looking extremely good in a white polo and denim jacket, brown hair slicked back. 

“___!” He greets, his arms immediately engulfing you in a tight hug, providing you the physical warmth that you haven’t felt in a while. You sigh into him, your head on his firm chest, his now sturdier frame but a reminder of the time that's passed.

You linger, prompting him to gently stroke your back like he used to after a long day at work. 

“You needed this, huh?” He observes, voice low and comforting. 

You release yourself from his hold and look up at him, his sweet smile a contrast to his commanding presence. 

“Unfortunately,” you sigh.

“Boss still not giving you due credit? Colleagues still not making it any easier? Stress still at an all-time high?” He asks, and it’s either he still reads you so well or your problems - or you - haven’t changed one bit. 

“You’re just not your usual energetic self,” he continues. “I mean, I haven’t seen your genuine smile since you arrived.”

He’s been watching you? Somehow that sends heat to your cheeks and quickens your heartbeat. 

“Just tired, is all. Plus, Jimin’s been living at home after a little accident,” you finally respond.

His face makes this charming worried expression. “House already a makeshift wrestling ring?” He laughs.

“You’d be surprised at how little damage there is in my apartment. Safe to say we’ve grown up,” you say, wide smile finally adorning your face, which he returns. You haven’t felt this light the whole week. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Joonie.”

**

You and Namjoon find a spot in the large living room, with the 2-seater couch being the only one available, the physical closeness making it difficult not to be mesmerized by his gorgeous face. His laugh is still the same, the feel of his hand under yours is still the same; the attention he gives, his thoughtful and wise words, and ability to make you feel cared for haven’t changed. 

You’re smiling more, eyes sparkling for sure, and you can’t help the way your body reacts the way it does - knees chasing his, hand tucking your hair behind your ear, voice going a key higher.

He’s still the same confident and self-assured man that you fell in love with, that you once saw a life with. It’s almost intoxicating, the way he speaks, sees the world, sees himself. You could easily fall into this again, into the ideal, the safe and secure, the expected, the could be. You think of the reasons why it didn’t work out, of what you chose when you decided to call it quits. His phone rings. He excuses himself but you still hear him. And you’re reminded why.

“I’m sure the gown looks beautiful, love. I’ll leave the party soon and meet you and our parents at the wedding planners’ office. See you in a bit.”

Your heart should be breaking but it’s just your pride that does. 

“I’m sorry, it was my uh—“ he says, unsure.

“Your fiancé,” you smile, as if reminding him.

“Yeah it’s… it’s pretty recent and we uh… we’re planning to have it in 3 months,” he explains, eyes turning sullen, lips curling into an apologetic smile.

“Congratulations, Namjoon. I’m so glad you’re happy,” you say, hoping he picks up the sincerity in your voice. 

He sits across from you again, hand on top of yours, his smile hopeful, and for the first time, you see him struggle with what to say. So you don’t give him a chance to.

“What are you still doing here?” You playfully nudge him. “You have somewhere else to be.”

“You’ll be okay?” 

“Of course. Don’t worry about me.”

He lingers this time. Maybe in another life you would’ve worked out, you would’ve loved each other better, you would’ve fought for each other. But not in this. 

He leans forward and places a soft kiss on your forehead and you shut your eyes, absorbing all the words he wishes he could say. I’m sorry. I will always care about you. I hope you find your happiness, too. 

Your eyes follow him as he walks out the door, out to the woman who could definitely give him what you couldn’t. From across the room, a pair of eyes follows your movement too, the way it has since you entered the party four hours ago. 

**

Whatever worry you initially had about getting drunk at your friend’s baby shower is out the window. You don’t mind anymore, not with your 5th glass of champagne and your 3 shots of vodka because of course, it’s Jin. You laugh along with your friends although you’re too dazed to process what they’re saying. 

Your jaw is sore from laughing over things you don’t understand so you decide to head inside, maybe call it a night and take the drinking back to your place; at least you’d be in your pjs and not in a tight dress and heels.

You’re pulling open a door that just won’t budge and you exert what little energy you have, causing you to trip on yourself only to be held steady by strong hands on your waist.

“That’s a sliding door, ___,” the familiar voice says, tone low but still teasing. 

You turn around and meet chocolate eyes looking down at you and you stare back even in your embarrassment.

“I… I think I’m drunk,” you stutter. 

You’re met with laughter. “No shit, ___. Think I didn’t notice that?”

“I…” You say, looking down at the hands still holding onto you. 

He quickly removes them, worry painting his face and you wave him off before he could apologize.

“Let’s go to a bar, Jungkook.”

**

You reasoned your decreased alcohol tolerance to your friends, which they didn’t buy but waved you off without much fanfare. They probably sensed you were out of it for a while. Or probably saw the exchange with Namjoon, who knows. 

But you’re now at a bar eating chicken wings and fries like you’re about to run out of food, the guy next to you chuckling and reminding you to breathe every once in a while. 

You finish your meal quickly and pout when you realize he’s barely touched his food. 

“You’re not eating,” you state the obvious.

“Sorry, too entertained,” he laughs, the child-like sound now so familiar, you’d recognize it anywhere.

He’s just smiling at you and you feel so small under his gaze. He saw you talking with Namjoon, taking shots, and almost tripping earlier. He’s probably wondering who this person is; definitely not the one who’s been semi-housing him the past few months.

You bury your face in your hands. “I’m so embarrassed,” you cry out.

“Hey now,” he says, hands gently removing yours from your face. He stops the one tear before it falls off.

“God, how many times have I cried in front of you, Kook? This is humiliating.”

“No one’s counting though,” he states. “It’s your drinks I’m counting and I’m thinking maybe you’ve had enough.”

You nod and he orders a can of soda and a glass of water. With light chatter and glasses clinking in the background, you two fall in comfortable silence. He’s quietly picking on his food, eyes roaming the bar while yours flit from him to the space between you, somehow wishing it isn’t as wide as it is right now. 

“I had a bad week,” you finally say. He nods.

“My friends are all accomplishing so many things, achieving their dreams and I’ve been stuck in the same company for 5 years.” 

He nods again.

“I’m a 28 year-old who got drunk at a baby shower and flirted with her ex only to find out he’s engaged.” 

Jungkook pretends not to be affected at the confirmation that you were indeed flirting with Namjoon but he nods just the same.

“And?” He asks.

“And? I’m in a bar with you, and I cried, and I’m acting like a baby because I had a terrible week and ended up doubting everything and now think I can’t get my life together. I mean, between my brother I can’t properly help, a job I can’t seem to stand out in no matter how hard I try…” You release a deep breath. “And a relationship I couldn’t keep because I wasn’t enough and I…”

“Hey, don’t say that,” he says angrily. “You’re none of those things.”

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have kids. And Namjoon always wanted to be a father,” you blurt, the words not stinging as they used to.

This stuns Jungkook. Jimin had always mentioned it was a mutual breakup but never said anything more. Jungkook didn’t think it was because of this. 

“I thought I wanted a family, too. It was so easy to fall into the idea of that kind of life with him because he was the perfect person to have it with. But then one day I just started doubting it,” you sigh, recalling how hard you used to be on yourself for suddenly wanting something different.

“Sometimes I think, what if I gave myself more time, what if eventually I’d be sure?” You take a long breath. “But the uncertainty was too much and it wasn’t fair to him,” you huff. There was no blame game; you both knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

“Quite the dealbreaker, huh?” Jungkook wonders.

“Yeah but looking back, the other issues were just bubbling under the surface. The future was so enticing and we talked about it all the time, it seemed much more important than well, us,” you explain. 

“It was Jimin who made me realize that I hung onto Namjoon for the relationship, the potential, what it meant. He was the epitome of stability and I was the same for him but at some point, even that wasn’t enough.”

“So, earlier. Why did you, uhm,” he starts, hoping it doesn’t come out wrong.

“Flirt with him?”

Jungkook nods.

“Being with him used to make me feel like I had it together, you know? Like I had it figured out because he did and it was silly but I don’t know, maybe I wanted to trick myself into thinking that by being close to him in any way, I had it together.”

“You don’t need to have it together all the time. You just need to have it together enough.” His whole body turns to you.

“You had one bad week, we all do. But it’s over now, isn’t it? Your friends doing well in their careers? So are you. You know what not to compromise on, what to stand up for, which battles to fight. I’ve heard enough of your stories to know that there are people at work who respect you, look up to you. The way your friends, your brother, and I look up to you.”

Your lips are quivering, forcing yourself not to cry again tonight. He just always knows what to say. “That’s really sweet, Jungkook.”

“Thanks, but I wasn’t trying to be sweet. I was just being honest. You’re a lot of good things to people, ___. Isn’t that what matters? Being a little off at work and drinking then flirting with an ex don’t make you any less of a person. Okay? You’re allowed to slip up every once in a while.”

You let this sink in.

“Look at you, Jeon Jungkook. When did you get this wise? It’s like I just blinked then you’re all of a sudden so grown up.” You tease to keep yourself from breaking down.

“Like I told you, much of what I know, I got from Jimin. And what he knows, he got from you. Maybe try listening to yourself, yeah?” He smirks.

You nod, smile creeping on your face the same way all the heat is rushing to your cheeks. You feel comfortable like this, being vulnerable and sad and doubtful but he’s holding you close without touching you, making you feel safe with just his presence. In the now noisy bar, your bodies angling towards each other, and with his tender smile, you feel a type of intimacy you’ve never felt before. It’s reassuring yet enticing at the same time. And this scares you.

You both stay for another hour until you decide it’s time to head home. Jungkook had taken a cab, too in anticipation of drinking so you both decided to walk back to your apartment, knowing the couple of blocks would be enough to sober you up.

The streets are still alive with the nightlife just starting but the noise starts to tone down once you reach your neighborhood. The long walk is soothing, as Jungkook leaves you to your thoughts, except for the times he has to steady you because, well, your vodka shots are still in your system and a walk isn’t enough to flush them down. Still, you’re calm, a feeling of acceptance overtaking you.

“Thanks for tonight, Jungkook. I hope I didn’t ruin any potential date or anything just because I couldn’t get the door open,” you laugh. 

He raises an eyebrow.

“That, uh, girl seemed really into you,” you stammer. 

He chuckles, hands in his pockets and cheeks flushed at the implication of your observation. 

“That wasn't much, we were just chatting.” He turns to you. “I could see your scrunched eyebrows from where I was and thought you needed help,” he shrugs.

You sigh. He was always helpful, ever since he was a kid. 

“You know, you were always the good guy. Jimin’s other friends were so rowdy and immature. Yugyeom was always sprawled on the couch with his feet up like he owned the place; Sejun was always finishing our ice cream, and Sunghoon was such a flirt.” 

Jungkook laughs, recalling the times you were scolding all of them for messing up the house and being so annoyingly noisy and eating your snacks.

“You were always the well-behaved and mature one. Like, you barely engaged in their pranks and stupid boy talk. You’d rather watch it all unfold until it was too much and you’d help me in the kitchen always. I remember your glazed potatoes. God, that was so hilarious.”

“That was embarrassing.”

“It was funny! And adorable. You were always so kind.”

“Thanks but uh, I wasn’t trying to be kind. Well, sort of. I wanted to impress you. And I—” He doesn’t know where this is coming from but it’s like word vomit, especially now that you’ve started to walk more slowly and are looking at him. 

“It was an opportunity to be near you. Kinda wanted a lot of that back then. Even now, actually.”

You gulp, unsure of what to feel or how to react. You thought you were imagining his lingering looks, or how his eyes shone a tad brighter and his smile was a bit wider when you were around. But he’s not saying what he’s saying, right?

“I, uh. Well, maybe you look up to me like an older—“

“Don’t say sister because I never saw you as one,” he interrupts you, frustration laced in his voice as if the word is venom. “Not when I was a teenager, not in the years after, and especially not now.”

You hesitantly turn to him, his nervous face a contrast to the offended tone of his voice just seconds ago. He nibbles on his lips, a mannerism you noticed when he was a teenager who always seemed shy around you and would only relax after you talked to him. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. I didn’t mean to sound angry. I just—“ 

“That was your angry tone?” You tease, your laugh affirming him that you’re not upset one bit, just… unsure. You’re flattered, definitely; he is a very attractive man. Still your brother’s best friend, though.

This eases him, but prompts him to test the waters.

“I’m a gentle boy, what can I say? Most times, at least,” he says, and you don’t miss the playful tone of this voice, his eyes peering down at you, making your breath hitch and your hands clammy.

You wrap yourself with your arms - really to wipe the sweat off because you’re feeling nervous - but Jungkook takes this differently, as anyone would, and immediately unzips his jacket and puts it on you.

You slow on your tracks and you feel even warmer. He follows your pace but urges you to speed up once he feels a droplet on his cheek. You’re glad you opted to wear low heels today, tiring your calves only a little but allowing you to walk fast enough until you’re on the steps of your apartment in time to miss the sudden downpour.

Well, Jungkook doesn’t because as he enters, a portion of his torso is wet, his black shirt sticking on his skin to tease you of his toned abs that you definitely will be thinking about tonight. Between that, his damp hair, and soaked veiny arm, you curse your mind for the images it’s currently making up. 

All he did was indirectly tell you he has a crush on you, right? Or did he? He doesn’t seem as bothered as you expected him to be if that was the case so maybe you misinterpreted? 

You can’t stand this wet version of him so you say you’ll get him a towel but are too flustered so you hit the wall as you turn towards the bathroom, eliciting a loud “ow!” 

“You okay?” He asks worriedly.

“Yeah, still drunk I guess,” you lie. He smirks and probably knows you’re lying. 

“I’ll take care of myself, don’t worry. Go wash up and get ready for bed.” 

“Are you ordering me around?” You ask, trying your best to reestablish yourself as the one in authority because you can’t take how this man is making you feel nervous and unsettled and not in control. 

“Do you want me to?” He simpers, flustering you even more. What is with him? 

You roll your eyes and trudge to your bathroom. You’re technically sober but with Jungkook’s looks, the sudden flirty tone of his voice, and his innuendos, you might as well be drunk again. 

You open the door and seconds later he’s by your bedroom, a glass of water in one hand and apple juice in the other. The bottle of aspirin is tucked under his arm by his rib and he asks you to get it and you think he's evil for testing you but you take it, acting unbothered. He follows you to your room and you don’t stop him. 

Glasses now on your bedside, you tuck yourself in. “Thank you, Jungkook.”

“For what?”

“For staying with me? Listening to me?” You test the waters, too. “For caring for me?” And his smugness disappears. Before you is a man, all strong and tough yet his smile is the tiniest, softest you’ve ever seen on him, and even from where you are, you could see the tips of his ears turn red. 

“I really appreciate everything,” you conclude, and you mean it.

He gathers himself before he looks you in the eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Anything you need, just tell me.” You nod. 

“Sleep well, ___.”

**

You don’t sleep well. In fact, even with the rain pouring outside, you feel so hot, you end up shedding your shorts. 

The closeness with Jungkook has been gradual and if anything, it’s been comfortable. You convince yourself what he has is probably just a little crush; convincing your heart to still is a different story. 

Jungkook, on the other hand, can’t stop smiling. He was testing the waters tonight, gauging how you would react to his flirtation and teasing. It was partly the alcohol but then you’d gone all shy and flustered; he thought it was worth a shot.

He was half expecting you to scold him like you used to do with Sunghoon, or berate him like those guys at work but you did neither. You don’t seem to hate him, even with his indirect confession to you, and that’s really better than what he’d hoped. 

**

You wake up dissatisfied with your sleep and take your hangover necessities; dealing with Jungkook last night did add to your inebriation. 

You head out to the kitchen to prepare some beef bone soup to help with the headache, hands trying to remove the sleep from your eyes. You move like you’re on autopilot like most post-night out mornings and then you hear someone gasp.

“Shit, woman. Learn your manners and put some clothes on,” Jimin shouts. 

It wouldn’t have been bothersome had Jungkook not been here but of course, he is. Next to your brother, eyes wide and definitely trying not to look at your bare legs. It dawns on you that you indeed removed your shorts because of that very man and your face contorts in shock and embarrassment.

“Fuck. Jimin! Grab me my shorts on my bed, please!!!” You cry out and stand behind the counter.

He’s too scandalized to complain so he rushes to your room and you feel so hot all over. You avoid Jungkook’s face at all costs, which apparently is what he’s also doing.

Jimin throws your shorts on your face. “Get yourself together, jeez,” he scowls.

“You’re the one invading my space, okay, both of you,” you bite back. 

Jimin’s making faces like he always does when you scold him and Jungkook sits next to him, chuckling. 

“I shouldn’t have welcomed you, you brats. I’m used to walking around my apartment in my underwear so this is a lifestyle change.”

“Oh god, shut it. Nobody wants to imagine you without clothes on,” he cringes.

For some reason, your eyes find Jungkook, who visibly gulps. You glare at both men, and Jimin responds with an evil smile.

You return to what you were meant to do and start getting ingredients. Jungkook starts to feel bad and approaches you, mumbles to Jimin that he’ll just help. 

Jungkook appears next to you. “Did you mean that?”

You sigh. “I didn’t. Of course you two are welcome here.”

“I was referring to the other one,” he says with a low voice.

Your eyes widen and you smack his arm. “What is wrong with you? Stop teasing,” you loud-whisper, but he doesn’t miss the way you try to hide your laugh.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” he smirks, and you get flustered even more. 

You’re a 28-year old getting scandalized over playful comments by this ridiculously good-looking man and you feel so pathetic but you can’t deny that it’s exciting you. It’s been a while since you’ve had someone flirt with you and pay attention to you like this, make you all giddy and entranced as if you’re an adolescent getting her first love letter or being told by her crush that she’s pretty.

There’s playfulness there but affection, too. You see it in the way he stops the teasing and smiles to himself, then proceeds to help you cook, looks at you with fondness while you eat, then forces Jimin to clean up with him. 

This continues for the next few weeks. His lingering looks on you are more flirty now and he smirks when you look away and try to hide your flushed face. His tone of voice when Jimin is nearby is lower, as if he’s telling you a secret. 

He no longer stiffens when Jimin moves to the corner of the couch and kicks you closer to Jungkook so that your brother can make space for himself. In fact, it’s the opposite now, with Jungkook finding ways to be near you - when the three of you are on a grocery run, when you’re all on the couch for movie night, and especially when Jimin opts to sit on the floor - shuffling closer, knees grazing each other’s.

You’ve kept your head to yourself, fighting the urge to rest it on his shoulder and he definitely noticed this, so he’s started to edge you, in a way. The once lingering finger touches when he hands you something are no more, so are the “accidental” elbow brushes. 

He stands close to you just enough for you to feel the heat off him but not enough to feel him. His arm over your chair leaves his hand thisclose to your shoulder and you swear you can feel the sensation even then. 

You’d stopped smacking him after this one time he flexed his bicep and you started to imagine how good those arms must look.

You found out shortly after when he and Jimin convinced you to join them in the gym because Jungkook had a voucher to a free yoga class since a client of his is a teacher; safe to say she wasn’t happy when he popped in the studio to say you were taking his slot. Jungkook and Jimin did a workout, your brother now in a better condition.

After the session, they made you wait as they finished and Jungkook really had to remove his red jacket to reveal his stupidly gorgeous toned and tattooed arms in a black fit sleeveless top. He caught you ogling and the devil crossed his arms to fucking flex and smirk when the conversation he was having with one of the trainers didn’t even seem that amusing. 

Of course, his outfit just sent your mind into another dimension with the images of what could be underneath that black top and again, you find out one morning exactly how glorious it is. 

It’s one of those post-bar night mornings - you’ve allowed Jimin to enjoy the nightlife again as long as he had chaperones, which essentially were you and Jungkook. You’d woken up and stopped by the hallway at the sound of someone gasping and you look up from the hallway, slack jawed as you watch Jungkook pull his shirt off from the back of his neck with one hand, coffee-stained clothing lying on the counter.

His black sweatpants are hanging low on his hips and does he not have any boxers on?? His tiny waist spreads out to his muscular back, and when he turns, his sculpted chest almost blinds you; pecs just the right perk and torso so taut but not intimidating at all. It’s... beautiful. It looks so smooth and captivating; your eyes can’t help but trail down south and is that black ink that’s peeking underneath the waistband? You gulp at the thought of Jungkook having a hip tattoo because what the fuck? Is he trying to kill you? And his…

“Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” He asks, and you jerk from where you’re standing. 

Your eyes turn to the appropriate body part they should be focused on and he’s smiling like he’s an angel, as if he literally didn’t just try to murder you with his exquisite bare body. 

His smile is so sweet and you know he’s playing you because he totally caught you drooling at the sight of him. Your throat is dry and suddenly you can’t speak, which really isn’t surprising by now because he’s also taken away your ability to form coherent sentences. 

“I, uhm. I’ll get one of Jimin’s.” 

“I don’t fit in his clothes. Don’t you have large ones?”

He knows you do, and you nod, unclench the thighs you didn’t even realize had betrayed you, and retrieve one of your oversized Disney t-shirts and approach him. You stay at a safe distance because any closer you might fall into temptation and you throw him the shirt. 

He chuckles and turns to his side to slowly put it on because of course there’s a fucking dent down there that he wants to show off.

You turn and trip on your foot because god knows how dizzy you feel from the show he just put on.

“Careful,” he calls out and even with your back turned, you just know he’s smirking.

He beats you to the bathroom shortly after and he took his time. 

You decide to wait with your brother who’d been so ecstatic over an audition he landed for a fairly new and small entertainment company as a choreographer for a hip-hop group. 

They told him his contemporary dance background and versatility are just what they need and you soften at his joyful face; he says he feels like a new person again. You listen to him excitedly and give encouragement.

You perk at the sound of the bathroom door opening because you really need to clean the wetness down there and you trudge out of the room so you could finally shower, slightly upset at Jungkook’s clothed form. 

You groan. “Ugh that was so long,” you mindlessly say.

“Oh it is.” His smirk is back and you are pissed. You bang the door and pull your hair out of frustration. 

He doesn’t even need to touch you for you to be a whimpering mess. He knows it. And you’re in trouble.

**

Jungkook is busy for the next two weeks, having shared that he has a couple of on-site art installations outside of the city and a tattoo piece that will need more than one 5-hour shift. You tried not to seem affected when Jimin teased him since it was going to be on a woman’s breast this time. 

“This the same one who had her vagina tattooed? The one who asked you out after?” Jimin asked.

Your eyes were burning your phone screen because you absolutely cannot be affected. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook laughed. “That was fun.”

Jin calling you was your saving grace and you spent the next half hour in your room, talking to him over nursery room ideas because Hoseok couldn’t make up his mind over a neon green or a fuschia pink wall and Yoongi wanted dark grey because “babies can’t even identify colors,” which is true but Jin needed you as the one with a more palatable taste.

Jungkook had knocked to say goodbye, which is more than his usual yelling, and you noticed him linger before you heard the steps away from your door. 

**

It was day 5 when you realized why you’d been so grumpy and you hated the moment you did - you miss Jungkook. You’d gotten so used to seeing him every few days - picking you up from work, playing rock-paper-scissors to determine who’ll choose dinner, laughing at his high-pitched child-like laughter, talking to him about work and other things… you even miss his flirting and teasing. 

He’d been such a staple in your life the past months, and not just to referee between you and Jimin. Jungkook, with his listening ear, his heartwarming passion for his work, and ability to soothe and comfort you in the silence, just feels so stable. And not in the way you used to think. He’s so laid-back and just there, always dependable, like you’re sure whatever it is you’re feeling, he’ll know what to do and say. 

Jimin used to say that Jungkook was always the person he needed for anything and now you understand why. He emits a certain calmness, joy, and consistency, like whether you’re flying or drowning, he’s the pillar grounding you or keeping you afloat. 

You’re always tempted to send him a message but you two don’t text and it’d be weird to just start now, although it doesn’t help that he doesn’t text you, too. You shrug it off and convince yourself that it really might just be a silly crush, one he acts on when he’s around you but probably forgets when he isn’t. Or maybe he went out with that girl, who knows?

On the day that he arrives, he's set to drive Jimin to the audition and watch him, too, while you’re just happy to be able to do errands and clean the house on your own. 

The doorbell rings and Jimin, whom you’ve reminded to shower so he won’t be late, answers the door and you try not to look intrigued when you hear him rambling about how good Jungkook apparently looks because how else can he look better?

With ash-grey hair, that’s how. You couldn’t help it. You peeked and turned your head before he could turn to look at you.

You’re currently by the kitchen counter, tiptoeing to try to get the cereal box on the top shelf to check if you need to buy another or if it would suffice. Or if it’s even still edible. You’ll be off for a quick grocery run if only you can get this stupid box out.

Then a large hand is touching your lower back and the fresh scent of detergent fills your nose. You stiffen as an arm is raised to easily grab the cereal box you’ve spent the past 5 minutes trying to get and fuck do you miss his touch, his scent that you realize is just as comforting as his soft sweatshirts, and the way you feel a jolt of electricity even at the slightest brush of his body on yours.

He places the box on the counter. “You should’ve asked,” he says, voice low.

“I can do it,” you respond, gaining the courage to look at him and your lips betray you at how they part because he looks so good with his new hair. 

“I know. I just like it when you ask.” He tries to keep his eyes on you but they keep falling to your lips, the one he’d been imagining the feel and taste of. But your eyes lock on his, letting yourself be hypnotized. 

You feel his touch drift away from you and you stop him, as your hand finds his and keeps it on your waist, and it signals him to grip tighter and pull you closer. And you let him. You angle yourself so you’re standing chest to chest, you could almost feel his heart beat just as fast as yours.

“What else?” You indulge yourself because you just wanna know. You've missed him and you can’t reconcile the flirting with his recent silence.

Jungkook bites his lip, knowing it’s his signal to tell you how he feels.

“I like it when you say my name, when you listen to me talk and take me seriously. When you don’t make me feel bad about the things I do, the things I choose.”

His hand that isn’t on your waist glides through your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. It settles on your cheek and you hope he doesn’t notice just how hot it is.

“I like it when you pout and when you smile with your eyes,” he continues. “And I like it when you need me because then I know I’m not the only one, because fuck do I need you,” he continues, both hands pulling you closer to him until his breath grazes your mouth. 

“Want you so much,” he mumbles, before he eliminates the distance and you feel his soft lips on yours, moving tenderly, carefully, as if the purpose is to seek validation that you feel the same way, to ask your acceptance of the overwhelming affection he has for you. 

Your lips move gently like his, languid yet electrifying and euphoric and you hold onto him for support, just so you won’t lose yourself even more than you already are.

This now feels surreal. You’re not thinking about anything else - not the before or the after - just the feel of him at this very moment and how it’s making you feel alive, carefree, unbound. And you wonder if all your other kisses had felt this good before. Or maybe just different. 

You and Jungkook keep your steady pace, focusing on the soothing feel of each other’s lips, of the sensation of something sensuous and tender.

The aggressive pull of the bathroom door jolts you awake from a dream it seems, and you’re ducking down and crouching on the floor behind the counter before your brother notices anything amiss. Jungkook’s surprised but holds his laugh at how scared you look, the first time he’d seen you be afraid of your brother.

“Kook, has my sister left for the grocery?” He calls out from his open room, probably dressing as he speaks.

Jungkook looks up to check on Jimin. “Yeah, she just left,” he answers after deciphering your hand gestures from underneath him.

“Ugh, I forgot to tell her to buy my cereal. I think the one on the top shelf isn’t edible anymore.”

Jungkook smirks, thanking the heavens that Jimin didn’t tell you, otherwise Jungkook wouldn’t have had the best kiss of his life. He felt you; you moved with him, you felt him. And he can’t be happier.

He has a chance with you. He really has a chance with you, and even at the risk of being caught, he’d do this with you over and over again.

“Let’s go,” Jimin calls out. “I’ll just text her.”

“I’m sure she knows,” Jungkook smirks then heads out, leaving you with a dazed feeling and a heart that won’t slow its beating. 

**

Your time alone with your thoughts only served to confuse you even more. It felt nice. He felt nice. You’d never really considered Jungkook as anything more than, well, your brother’s best friend, even if he’d been the one you preferred out of all of Jimin’s friends dating back to middle school. 

His well-behaved nature and boyish charms were always endearing to you and even when he grew up, his confidence and compassion just amazed you. But it was always from afar. You think it’s the same with him; his affection may just be a little infatuation borne out of his idea of you growing up. You’ve learned enough that the idea of a person, of a relationship, of a could be isn’t always enough.

Another thing you think about is that Jimin is very protective of his friendships. You know that more than anyone, when you dated Taemin in high school. 

You were both seniors and had gotten close because he was Jimin’s dance captain and mentor, someone whom your brother looked up to and admired. Your relationship ended during your first year of college, with both of you saying things you eventually regretted. Safe to say it was your first heartbreak, one that resulted to Jimin’s as well, as his friendship with your ex was also affected.

You and Jimin barely talked about it, seeing his own disappointment because of the resulting strained relationship with Taemin. You thought that the elder would at least maintain a friendship, but he didn’t. 

The most Jimin said about it was when he told you, eyes downcast but tone quite angry, to “keep off my friends and don’t date any of them, please.” You were home for a break and he stormed out of your room before you could apologize. You realized later on that his heartbreak was worse than yours; you told yourself you don’t want to be the cause of that pained look on his face ever again.

His friends are off-limits, he made it pretty clear. Taemin was a mentor but one Jimin eventually did without. But Jungkook is his best friend, his brother. They’ve looked out for each other for more than half of their lives; you can’t even imagine what would happen if you and Jungkook get together and then fight, or break up. 

You wouldn’t want Jimin to have to give up a friendship that means more to him than anything. Or more accurately, you wouldn’t want to lose Jimin over something that might not mean as much anyway. 

You stick to the latter thought, especially when both men arrive home and Jimin is beaming, his smile something you’d never admit actually makes your heart feel all sorts of fuzziness and pride. He’s so excited and you feel it, too, moreso because he informs you that he got the job.

“They really liked me! They said I can really mentor the group and their team is so creative and passionate…” Jimin goes on, narrating every single thing that happened right as he entered the studio. You’ve never seen him this elated, not even with his previous company that was at the top of their game. 

“And they said I don’t have to work right away! They’ll wait for my doctor’s clearance but I can go to work to observe and get to know them more.”

Your eyes moisten because not long ago, you saw the joy in your brother wither away, his passion deteriorate, and his plans go on a standstill. But now, it���s like he didn’t go through a slump or moments of weakness, like he didn’t go through a depressive mode when he thought he’d lost everything. He’s really a fighter, and you truly look up to him. 

“I wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for you two,” Jimin continues, pulling both of you in a three-way hug because of course your brother wouldn’t hug just you.

This prompts Jungkook to wrap his arm around you, hand gripping your waist while yours settles for mere pats on his lower back. He tries not to dwell on this minimal contact, or on the way you purposely avoid his gaze. He tries not to think too much when you actively lean towards your brother more during your dinner out, or how you jerk away when any of Jungkook’s body parts comes in close contact with yours.

He’s thinking maybe you’re not in the mood for his playful antics or maybe, he really pushed too far with the kiss from earlier, and it sends him in an internal panic mode because just as his hope of starting something more with you was blooming, it quickly gets shot down just like that. 

It’s when you pass up on games and drinks in your living room when you get back so you could just stay in your room did Jungkook think that he may really have blown his chance.

**

You try to be subtle in your avoidance of Jungkook but it’s harder than expected, especially since Jimin still invites him over. With the excitement of the new job now steadying, Jimin announces his checklist for getting through a crisis - healed foot, check; new job, check. That’s pretty much it, really. “But I still need you two,” he says.

Jungkook comes over and at the start, you notice how he still tries. He attempts to catch your gaze, goes near you, engages you in conversation, makes jokes, lingers before leaving… only to be met with eyes that don’t seek him, short answers, forced laughter, and cold goodbyes. And you absolutely hate it. 

He’s around yet you miss him even more than when he was away, but you can’t fall into the things that made you feel something for him in the first place. 

Living with Jimin made you appreciate him so much more, and you’re glad you get to be this close with him for the first time, and you don’t want to jeopardize that. 

Jungkook had much to do with the newfound attachment with your brother, yet it’s exactly why you’re hesitant to give Jungkook a chance. Their relationship is sacred, similar to how yours with Jimin is. What you and Jungkook have is a by-product of those, and it’s not the priority. Somehow you think all three can’t coexist; you can’t have it all, really.

Whenever Jungkook makes an effort, Jimin’s plea to keep off his friends rings in your head. You know, too, that Jimin gave his friends an ultimatum - date my sister or keep your dicks, something like that. It was funny when you heard of it, but it’s definitely not a laughing matter now. 

Those words were said years ago yet they still hang above your head. You wish Jungkook would just make it easier for you, but why is it that when he stopped trying did you feel your heart break, as if you’re losing something you never had in the first place?

**

It’s easy to reason you feel sick and tired; you’ve been spending later hours at work so spending more time in your room and asking the boys to make dinner instead seem reasonable. But tonight, Jimin isn’t having it.

“We’re celebrating, stay here,” he says, pulling you to the couch next to him. Jungkook is on his right, his once tendency to stiffen around you back again, and you sadden at the thought because he looks so uncomfortable.

“Celebrating what?” You ask, grabbing the beer being handed to you. 

“I’ve been working for 2 weeks and I haven’t reinjured my foot,” he says, his smile blinding you.

Normally you’d roll your eyes at his shallowness but you just agree and mindlessly sip the beer, eyes veering off in the distance.

“Is it a guy?” Jimin asks out of nowhere and you try not to choke. “You only ever get this sulky when it’s about a guy. Is it someone from work?” Jimin states with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Oh! Is it one of the managers who’s been trying to ask you out but he’s the ex of your close friend?” 

You try to remember when you told him that but it was definitely a months-ago issue. 

“Or did you have an epiphany and realized you actually like Yoongi? Or Hoseok? Or maybe Jin but he’s married?”

“What the hell, Jimin!” You say, smacking his arm. Your eyes flit to Jungkook who’s focused on the TV.

“The first one,” you lie to satisfy your brother. 

“It’s kind of a code, you know? He’s Yuri’s ex and she really loved him and I don’t want to ruin my friendship over something I’m not sure is worth it anyway.” And with that, you see Jungkook’s jaw clench. He knows about Yuri and the manager; they were merely a fling, so he knows you’re lying.

“How do you know it’s not worth it if you haven’t even tried?” Jimin asks, incredulous.

“I don’t know, it’s just… Yuri’s my friend and I don’t wanna mess up a friendship.”

“Seems like you don’t trust your friendship with Yuri enough, then,” Jimin states like it’s a fact. This hits your more than it should. Do you really not trust in your relationship with your own brother? Surely you have a basis to be hesitant, but if it only it were that simple.

Jimin picks up on your silence and asks again. “How are you and the guy like? Do you have moments with him?”

“Lots of them,” you say, your eyes finding Jungkook just on the other side of the couch and he’s never felt farther away. 

“And for the first time it’s like I get to savor them. Whether it’s something sweet that he does, or if we’re just together in silence, or when he’s being flirty,” and you don’t see it but Jungkook catches you smiling at the thought and god does he wish you’re lying about this one unless it’s about him. He wishes it is.

“Sounds like a keeper if he gets you to enjoy moments, don’t you think? For someone like you?” Jimin says, cocking an eyebrow.

“Like me?”

“You think too much, you know? You plan, you analyze, you manage risks… I mean, yeah sure they help I guess but this isn’t a job, ___. There’s no profit to be earned here, no losses,” he points out. 

“The only loss is you missing out on something good because you’re too focused on what could happen, and not what’s actually happening, right now.” He's told you a variation of this before, but somehow this hits differently, and more than it should.

“Did you teach that to Jungkook, too?” You ask, a smile creeping up and you digress because you need anything to stop you from walking to Jungkook and holding him close to you.

“No, he taught me that,” Jimin states. “I know it seems like I teach him a lot - well, all I really told him was to never let anybody dictate what he wants and deserves in life, and I stand by that, but to be clear,” Jimin turns to you, “I learn just as much from him. He’s his own self; nobody tells him what to do.”

It’s all meant to be assuring, comforting even, if only Jimin knew. And if only it were that simple. The tension is suffocating but your brother breathes easy. You love him more than you can ever say and his happiness has meant more to you than you ever imagined. You just wish your own didn’t come at a cost.

**

A few days later, Jungkook is back at your place and you had quite the reflective week and opted to stay in your room. 

Some days you just want to bask in your own thoughts; absorbing yourself in your own emotions helps in figuring out what to do, you’ve realized. You’re still a thinker and a planner - that’s probably never gonna change - but you’re starting to at least let yourself feel and enjoy the now, or something like it. You just wish the person you want to spend your now with hasn’t changed his mind.

It’s almost midnight when you decide to head out, your early dinner long digested and you feel hunger creeping in.

You exit your room and stop in your tracks at the sight of Jungkook in your kitchen, all alone. You definitely weren’t ready for this.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were still here,” and you regret it immediately, not wanting to sound disappointed.

He looks up, alarmed at your presence because he wasn’t expecting this, too.

“Jimin fell asleep on me but don’t worry, I was just about to leave,” he responds, eyes not meeting yours. 

“He’s also gonna be coming over my place now since he’s able. Don’t want you to feel like a prisoner in your own home,” he says, motioning to your room where you’ve been hiding recently. 

“Since you’re avoiding me and all,” he continues, and you don’t miss the hurt look on his face. 

You mentally give yourself a pep talk because you definitely want him to still come around and you’re definitely being stupid. 

“I… I wasn’t avoiding you,” you say, blocking his way by the couch as he’s about to reach for his jacket.

He stops in front of you, ensuring some distance. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, you were just not minding me and making sure you stayed as far away from me as possible.” He’s trying to sound bitter but you’re his weakness and he will always go soft on you because his tender eyes are definitely not a match to his bitter words.

“I just didn’t know what to do. You didn’t exactly say what you felt and—“

“I kissed you, ___,” he says, tone suppressing frustration.

“I told you I needed you, wanted you. And you kissed me back. The way you looked at me that day, the way you held me… it meant more, I could feel it. So I don’t know how you could just act like none of that happened, like it didn’t matter,” he continues.

“Jungkook… you’re my brother’s bestest friend. And he’s very protective of his friends, of you.” 

And it’s ironic, Jungkook thinks, how Jimin is the reason why you two had met, got close; how Jimin’s what got you together but is also who’s keeping you apart.

“He’s also the one who constantly reminds me to go for what I want, to never let anybody tell me what to do,” Jungkook says.

“Yeah but this is different. I don’t want anything to come in between you two, the same way I don’t want anything to come in between him and me.”

“So it’s okay for him to come in between us? You really think he’d be okay with that? That he’d keep the two people he loves the most from being together? From being happy?”

And you hate that he’s right.

“What Jimin is to us is out of our control,” he states. “But that shouldn’t be why we can’t try, right? Because god I’ve wanted you since I was 15 and and I’ve waited too long for this and I’d either fight for us or keep us a secret, I don’t care. Just don’t lie to me, please.”

By now he’s standing in front of you and he could pin you against the armrest if he wanted to but he’s keeping his hands to himself, fists clenched at the control he’s trying to maintain because of his intense feelings for you. He’d make you feel it all too, if you just let him.

You can move away if you wanted; there’s space for it. But you don’t. Jungkook bared everything to you, braving through just to be with you; the least you could do is be honest. So with your own strength, you look up at him. 

“You made me fall for the moments, Jungkook. You made me fall for you, and there were so many things to consider and I—“

Your rear hits the armrest, as you’d reflexively walked back as he started to move towards you, slowly eliminating the distance. His arms, sandwiching you, are propped on the couch to support his spread out frame, his face now level with yours. You’re burning with how he’s looking at you with so much hope and yearning.

“Go on,” he says, voice low, his eyes wandering all over your face and you feel your heat dampen with just his gaze. 

“I didn’t know what to do with what I’d started to feel for you because you were off-limits but that didn’t keep me from wanting you and—“

His lips graze the side of your neck and with your breath hitching, he proceeds. Open-mouth kisses trail your neck, with just enough wetness and just enough heat to leave you wanting more. You angle your neck for more access and he smirks at this. 

“And what?” He urges you, mouth focusing on the other side of your neck now, head nudging yours to adjust. 

“And I avoided you because—“ 

You grip the couch for support, as you unravel with his hot breath on your skin.

“That seemed easier than to keep at what we were doing knowing that—“ 

He licks a sensitive part by your ear and your strangled moan spurs him on. 

“I couldn’t have you the way I wanted to.” 

At this, he stops. 

He focuses his gaze on you again. Jungkook holds onto the tiniest shred of self-control he has left just so he can savor you like this, emotions unraveling and your body falling apart before him. 

“How exactly do you want me?”

You steady your breath and as much as you want to give in to your carnal desire and attack his lips, you want him to know how much this means to you. You’re still scared but being with Jungkook steadies you, makes it all feel worth it.

You’re crossing this line now, and you’ll stick with him whether you’ll both come clean or keep it a secret. He wants you enough right now; you’ll figure out what to do eventually. 

Your hand finds his face and fingers trace the scar on his cheek. You let yourself drown in his beautiful eyes, knowing on clear nights you could see galaxies like this. 

“I want you close, Jungkook. I want you to hold me, when I’m sad, happy, confused. I want to hold you that way, too. I want to savor every moment, let you know everyday what you mean to me.”

Your featherlight touches on his jaw send shivers all over his body and he hums at the sensation. You caress his lips before he could bite them again, palming him with your thumb and feeling its softness.

“I want you to fall apart under my touch, want to make you feel good, kiss you like it’s always the last time.”

Jungkook thinks he deserves a prize for how well he’s keeping himself together and not yet taking you on this couch like his dick is telling him to. But he needed to hear all that, needed to look in your eyes while you said them.

Then you smile at him, eyes filled with desire, and that’s all it takes for him to lose his resolve and plunge into you, your plush lips against his soft ones, melding together again like a literal dream. He straightens his stance so his hands can cup your face and he feels you smile in the kiss, relishing in the care and attention he’s giving.

It starts tenderly then quickly turns heated, his eager hands trailing down your arms and waist, and your own entangling his hair, pulling the strands as he nips your lips, prompting them to open. 

Your tongues explore each other’s mouths, his lingering taste of rootbeer somehow making him more addictive. You swallow each other’s sounds, both of you still having half a mind to tone down, knowing that only a wall separates your wanton moans and your sleeping brother.

His grip around you tightens and you pull him closer, your hands now around his neck, fingers thumbing his cheeks and you’re losing yourself to him, as the past few months of undeniable attraction and sexual tension climaxing at this moment where you finally give in to what you’ve been trying to suppress.

Jungkook, on the other hand, feels a sense of calm even with his hard dick and his thumping heart because he’s dreamed of this, dreamed of you, and you’re here wanting him, too. All the memories of watching you from afar, blushing at how beautiful you are, missing you when you were away, heart breaking at how happy you were with someone else, fly by him like a movie because he’s got his ending - you. 

He’s lived for moments most of his life and always knew to savor them, to bask in them because he doesn’t know when he’ll get to have those again. But nothing comes close to right now with you and he decides to make sure he’ll have you like this everyday. 

Both your actions continue, hands stationary but mouths eagerly moving against each other, stopping momentarily for air but smiling, laughing in the kiss.

You give in first, fingers slowly trailing down to graze at his chest and he shivers, curses mid-kiss and you giggle, and he’s on cloud 9 again, realizing he can hear the beautiful sound that is your laughter everyday. 

Suddenly it’s all thoughts of what’s ahead for both of you, imagining what that would be like - feeling, holding, touching each other. You’re both so lost in your little world, minds traveling from now to tomorrow and it’s exciting, so incredibly alluring to be savoring this moment but also thinking about the next. 

You’re light-headed now because kissing him is like a drug, soothing yet exhilarating at the same time and you’re aching to feel him. “Jungkook…” You whine. 

And then.

“HOLY SHIT,” you hear a gasp.

Your eyes burst open and you feel Jungkook stiffen before you try to push him away. You both stull, looking at each other, some distance now between you, and you can hear a pin drop with how quiet it is, the tension so thick that you’re afraid to move. 

You knew at one point you’re gonna have to tell Jimin but not now and definitely not in the middle of a fucking make-out session.

“Is this a hookup or are you both finally out of your asses and would actually like to properly date because god knows it’s about time?”

You and Jungkook slowly turn to the side, eyes wide at your brother who’s leaning by the wall, checking his nails as if he didn’t just give you a heart attack.

“WHAT?” You ask.

“Jungkook’s been into you since forever but never had the fucking guts to do anything.” Jimin sighs and rolls his eyes at the man. “You’re not exactly subtle with your staring.”

Jungkook can’t seem to wrap his head around what's happening because his mouth keeps moving but no sound comes out.

“Neither are you,” Jimin eyes you this time. “You forget I’m good with reading people. And also, I’m friends with Yuri. She doesn’t even remember that guy,” he laughs because of course they’re friends. You feel so stupid; you should’ve known he was trying to catch you in a lie when he asked if your sulking was because of a “guy.”

“So you’ve always known?” Jungkook finally finds his voice.

“About you, duh. She’s recent,” Jimin points to you. “It’s like, one moment you’re friendly then you’re flirty then it’s like you can’t stand each other. Get your shit together, people. I’m literally right here.”

God, you and Jungkook were definitely not subtle. And underestimated your brother, too.

“So you’re not mad?” You confirm.

“No.”

“But… you said you were gonna cut my dick off,” Jungkook stammers.

“And you told me to keep off your friends because of Taemin,” you add. “You stopped being friends because of me,” you remind him, voice almost a whisper.

Jimin takes a deep breath because now he has to come clean.

“We stopped being friends because of him. He hurt you, ___, and you didn’t deserve that,” he admits, avoiding your questioning gaze. “I heard you crying to Jin about what happened and I got angry and wanted you to stay away from my friends because they were all assholes.” He continues, jaw clenched at the memory. “Well, except for him,” he cocks his head towards Jungkook. 

“He was the only good guy. I never really minded if he went for you because... iknowhe’lltreatyouwellandyoudeservethat,” Jimin says.

And you’re not gonna lie, you feel like crying. Jimin’s been trying to protect you all this time. 

Jungkook, on the other hand, isn’t taking this all too well.

“You said you were gonna cut my dick off…” He says again, tone low and unbelieving.

“That didn’t stop you, did it?” Jimin counters, earning him a sigh of defeat because he has a point. 

“I just wanted it to happen naturally,” he explains. “I mean, I didn’t plan on getting heartbroken, injured, unemployed, then homeless all at once but it happened and you both helped me and that unintentionally brought you together and I…” 

He turns to you both. “I realized how good you are together. Not just in taking care of me but in taking care of each other, too.”

By this time, Jungkook has found his feet and is back to standing in front of you, his hand intertwining with yours. You let out a laugh because this whole time, Jimin wasn’t in the dark. But then again, he’s a smart ass too and would’ve figured it out.

And would also push it. “I actually got over Taehyung months ago so like, I’ve been okay for a while,” he shrugs.

And just like that, he gets on your nerves again because that’s how he’s been getting his way, by reminding you of his “broken heart that’s still hurting.” 

“You little bitch! Do you also have a new apartment now and you’re not telling me?!” You shriek, and Jungkook next to you is finally laughing. 

“Oh no,” Jimin responds. “I’m really still homeless.”

And he smiles his sickly sweet smile and you can’t help but mirror it. Your brother is really something, and you don’t know what you’d do without him.

Some seconds pass and you’re just all basking in this moment because for the first time in months, it really feels like things are looking out for all of you.

“So in that case,” Jungkook turns to you. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” Hopeful eyes staring at you, a weight off his shoulder now that he doesn’t need to hide anything from his best friend. He can just focus on falling in love with you and making you do the same. 

“Yes,” you excitedly reply, hand trailing down his chest again. “And in that case, would you like to continue this in my bedroom?”

Jungkook feels his dick twitch. “Fuck, yes.”

“Guess I’m gonna have to sleep on the couch now,” Jimin groans, but you don’t miss his playful tone. “You’re both welcome, idiots.”

**

You’re pushed to the wall right as the door closes and Jungkook’s lips meet yours immediately. It tastes much sweeter knowing there’s no need to hide, to be careful. It’s liberating and it’s making you feel more.

He kisses you harshly as his hands make quick work of your shirt, pulling them off then slowly kneeling down in tandem with his mouth sucking, licking, and kissing down to your breasts, then your torso, causing your chest to heave at the pleasure from just his mouth.

His hands aggressively pull down your bottoms and his tongue finds your clit before you can even process his action. He’s nibbling your bud and laving at your lips and pumping his fingers in you all at once, you don’t know where to focus. 

You feel the desperation and intensity with every move, the sensation overwhelming and eliciting lewd sounds from you. He alternates between moaning and cursing on your cunt and that just adds to the pleasure.

“Eager, aren’t we?” You ask with a smirk.

“You have no idea,” he responds, head buried between your thighs, one of which is currently resting on his shoulder. “Some of my wet dreams may have been because of you.”

“What the fuck Jungkook!”

“I was a growing boy with raging teen hormones!” He says in between breaths. But he doesn’t relent. Fingers curling in your hole, tongue swirling on your clit, and hand squeezing your ass, he’s determined to make you cum now, and with a hard suck, you do. 

You jerk away at the oversensitivity with his mouth still on you and you pull him up to give him a kiss, tasting yourself on him.

At the sight of you bare, eyes half-lidded and steadying breath, he stills.

“Is everything okay?” You ask.

“Yeah I just…” He starts, stepping back a bit, and his eyes roam your body, smile creeping up his face. “I never thought I’d get to have you like this. I always admired you from afar and you always felt so out of reach and I…”

“Jungkook,” you stop him. 

“I’m here with you right now, barely any distance. I’m not your best friend’s sister, okay?” Your hand reaches out to him and he takes it, let’s you pull him closer. “I’m the girl you like whom you’ll take out on a date after you fuck her senseless. Got it?”

“Y-yeah,” he stammers, a shy laugh escaping him. 

You kiss him softly. “No need to admire me from a distance anymore. You have me, right here.”

“Okay.”

And before he can attack you again, you lead him towards your bed. Your fingers pull the waistband of his sweats as you sit on the edge and look up at him, wide eyes eager for something.

“Shirt off,” you say, and he follows.

Your eyes meet your hands that are slowly ridding him of his remaining clothing and you swear you could come again at the sight of the tiger lily tattoo resting on his hip. It curves with his semi-defined v-line, the stem trailing downward, like some pathway to his throbbing dick that’s leaking with some pre-cum.

You take him in your hands and he bucks at the feel of your soft skin around his length that’s aching to be inside you. Your eyes stay on the tattoo; something about it is so hot and you kiss it, lips then exploring the expanse of his hip and up to the part of his torso that you can reach, feeling the ridges of his definitely smooth abs, now tensing at the sensation. 

All the while, your hand is stroking his member, up and down as you continue kissing and licking his pelvis and just like this, he already tastes so good. He grunts with your ministrations, head falling back at the intense pleasure. His hands fall to your hair as you take him in, tongue traversing his dick and your heat clenches at the salty taste of cum and the feel of his veins as his shaft twitches in your mouth.

At the vibration caused by your moan, he stops you, removes himself from you and then lays half your body down on the edge of the bed. 

“My turn,” he says smugly.

You’re about to protest but he swirls his tongue all over your cunt again, the pad of his thumb flicking your nub and you moan his name instead. You haven’t fully recovered from your first orgasm yet but he seems determined to give you another one. He’s eating you like a man starved, as if he plans to slurp you dry.

“More, Jungkook,” you breathe out, then he’s pumping his dick and thrusting into you, the stretch just a tad bit painful but so, so good. 

He quickly adjusts, spreads your legs open for his easy access and the view, and he growls at the supple flesh that's taking him so well. It’s so erotic, watching himself go in and out of you like this, then hearing your deliciously hypnotic moans louden as his hands start kneading your breasts like it’s some dough he’s molding to his liking, his fingers flicking the hardened nipples.

“You feel so fucking heavenly, ___,” he pants. “Fuck, fuck. Can’t believe you’re mine.”

“All yours, Kook,” you respond, delirious now because his movements are really sending you to another dimension. “Fuck me harder,” you beg, and he follows. 

He adjusts again, flushing your legs against you and the angle in which his dick hits your sweet spot causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head. 

You’re screaming expletives and it’s just urging him to go harder, deeper, faster, his sweat trickling down his temples and forming on his chest.

“Cum for me, baby. I need to feel you,” he huffs. 

He’s in a frenzied state and he’s losing himself in you, his mouth now parted and he joins your filthy wails, which are in tune with the sound of skin slapping on skin. 

You feel your body spasm and you call out his name before you give in, heart stopping for a moment and he feels the stream of your cum coat his dick that’s just savoring this a bit more.

But you clench and it’s all it takes, his own seed spurting in you and your back arches as he comes down from his high by languidly kissing your breasts, one hand around your lifted waist and the other, intertwining your hand. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. So much better than I imagined,” he utters, sounding so winded at the intensity of his orgasm.

He’s too tired to even move, body now resting on top of you, chest heaving and bated breaths escaping him. You massage his head and he moans even at that and you laugh but soften at the intimacy of it all.

He finally gets himself off you and you chuckle as he sneakily opens the door and tiptoes to the bathroom, careful not to be caught naked by your brother. He returns with a wet towel, wipes you, then lays next to you, his arm secured around your waist.

He’s smiling so fondly, lips now peppering kisses all over your face. “You’re stuck with me,” he states.

“Nowhere I'd rather be,” you reply, your own soft kiss now turning greedy again, and you think it’s gonna be a long night.

**

You wake up tired but you’re not complaining. It was quite the evening, after all, and you’re reminded by the fluff of grey hair adorning your chest. Jungkook likes to cuddle, you’ve learned, and he couldn’t sleep without a part of his body touching you. 

You release from his hold and head to the kitchen after washing up, not expecting your brother to already be eating his cereal.

“Oh my god, can you wear shorts?” He huffs. 

“Bitch, you’re in my apartment,” you bite back, laughing at the face he makes. 

Your front is to the counter when Jungkook approaches and unlike before, heads to you, arms wrapped around your waist from behind and places a kiss on your cheek. “Good morning.”

His voice is hoarse and you hold back a moan because it just brings you back to last night when after you came the second time, he fucked you softly for your third, then fucked you hard for your fourth, then softly again this morning for your (extended) fifth. God, this man will be the death of you. 

He nuzzles your neck and you giggle.

“Manners, you two. You’re like teenagers,” Jimin scowls.

“Well, I am living my teenage dream,” Jungkook announces. 

Jimin grimaces but softens at the look of his two favorite people looking so happy. “Okay, this is gonna take some getting used to.”

You and Jungkook playfully nod in agreement.

“Also,” he turns to Jungkook who’s now managed to tear away from you. “Are you gonna be here again tonight because you know, I kinda wanna sleep on a bed and all. Couch is great but like, no.”

“You better find your own place soon if you don’t want to keep sleeping there every night,” you reply smugly.

“Okay, now gross!” Jimin, dramatic as always, pretend-gags at the implication. “I’m gonna look for places. Jungkook, you’re still my best friend. We’re going apartment hunting tomorrow.”

“But…” You start.

“No. Nuh-uh. You had him last night and you’re going out on a date today. You need to share my best friend.”

And you all laugh at him throwing a tantrum. He and Jungkook start to bicker and you walk towards your room to grab shorts because it really is awkward when your brother is there. 

The doorbell rings as you’re about to walk back and you open the door, a surprised look on your face.

“Hi, is Jimin there?” The person asks.

**

You head back to the kitchen, your guest in tow and you call out to your brother.

“Chim, someone’s looking for you.”

Jimin looks up and almost falls off the chair.

“Taehyung?” He says, trying to mask the nervous tone of his voice. “I…”

“I have something to confess,” Taehyung cuts him off, eyes nervous but hopeful. “Can we, uhm, maybe talk somewhere else?” 

Jimin nods and quickly follows him out.

You walk back to Jungkook and he tugs you close, hands back to your waist. “What’s that about?” 

You bite back an excited squeal as you think back to what Taehyung told you at the door. 

“Let’s just say, you might not need to help Jimin look for an apartment anymore,” you respond. 

Jungkook smiles and pulls you in for a hug, reveling in this absolutely perfect moment. 

“You Park siblings drive me crazy, you know that? And you two make me so damn happy.”

##

masterlist

#jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #brother's best friend #hold me close #oneshot #mine