#and people who make art deserve to like. eat. and pay for their homes. and have lives.

[novelconcepts]

I just. How are the studios not fucking embarrassed yet? How are they not just wallowing in awareness that they are the baddies? I understand wealth separates a man from his common sense and, uh, soul, but. How are you looking at a bunch of artists who are asking for basically the bare minimum, going “yeah, no, I need my yachts”, and you’re NOT aware how pathetic you look? The biggest loser energy in the world.

#wga strong #sag strong #the rich embarrassing themselves isn’t the least bit new but my god am I bored of them #we need art. we need stories. it’s the most human thing we can do. #and people who make art deserve to like. eat. and pay for their homes. and have lives. #this shit isn’t actually controversial no matter how much studios want to convince you otherwise #fuckin quit throwing a bitch baby fit over your mega millions or billions or whatever insanity and pay your fucking writers and actors #and cgi artists and crews and PAs and fuckin ALL of the people who actually contribute to civilization via the humanities #sorry not sorry I am. Tired of the bullshit. #the longer it goes on the more pitiful the studios are gonna look so just. lick your wounds now and let folks get back to making cool shit #(while also being able to. eat. and live their lives. and not lose their rights and livelihood to AI horseshit. y’know. the basics.)

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 11: meet cute

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

A special one, I really enjoyed writing it. Reblog if you liked it!

Spencer walked through the gallery in silence, paying attention to all the paintings and trying to give them his own interpretation. For some strange reason, being in those places relaxed him greatly and right now it was what he needed most: a well-deserved respite after a long day of work.

“Good night,” he greeted a young woman, who was attentively looking at a painting.

The woman he saw couldn't have been more than thirty years old and her clothing was... how to put it? Something eccentric. All the clothes were vibrant tones and she wore a woven bag with uneven parts, who knows if it was on purpose or not.

“Good night,” you murmured just as kindly, keeping your hands in the pockets of your colorful jacket.

The painting in front of you was, in short, something grotesque. But it wasn't in a bad way, it had a certain special touch that made it… Spencer couldn't even describe it. It was very good, but to some extent uncomfortable to look at. Almost like a ritualistic crime scene that he was so used to: beautiful, but at the same time terrifying.

"Do you like it?"

“Huh?” the man asked, fearing he had misheard the girl next to him. She nodded toward the exhibit and her brain filled in the blanks. “The painting? Yes, I think it's very good. I'm afraid I'm not a great connoisseur of artistic currents, but from a very point of view this could be part of The Black Paintings, Francisco de Goya's collection”

“I know them,” you said happily. “My favorite is that one about Saturn devouring his son. You know, the one where they're eating a…” you started to say, making signs with your hands that he understood immediately.

“I think art is very subjective, like everything in the world. Some people may consider the Mona Lisa a masterpiece and others may appreciate more the style of Van Gogh or the cubism of Picasso and they are all right. Each person enjoys art things that reflect the content of their soul and I think that is the beautiful thing about paintings, don't you think?

“You know a lot for someone who is not knowledgeable about art” you smiled, feeling captivated by the way the stranger next to you expressed himself.

“Actually I say that I am not a connoisseur because I don’t want to offend those who are. I've only read a couple of books on the subject and... well, I love coming to museums, but that's all”

“Honestly, I think it's very ugly,” you said suddenly, turning your head slightly to observe the painting “It looks a little strange on the bottom, whoever did it should improve their technique a little.”

Spencer felt strange hearing such a cruel comment coming from a person who seemed to be sweet, but he figured you would have your reasons for holding that opinion. He considered leaving there but his attempt was interrupted by another presence, this time a man dressed in an elegant suit who approached you.

“Miss Y/L/N” he greeted you cordially, while you shook his hand “I see you came to appreciate our exhibition, do you like the light we put there? Does it help the colors of the work or do you want us to change it to a warmer one?”

“Oh, don't worry Frank. I like that one, it makes it look gloomy” you answered nonchalantly “You just should put it somewhere else, I'm not very proud of this one in particular”

"What are you talking about? Many people liked it. Isn't it good, gentleman?” he asked, turning to Spencer who was watching the two of them curiously.

“It's beautiful,” he confessed. He actually thought that, he wasn't saying it out of commitment or anything, and his response made you smile sheepishly.

"Stop. Everything is perfect here, thank you for giving it a home in your gallery”

“And there will be more spaces in the future, think about it,” the man murmured, squeezing your shoulder warmly and friendly. “Have a good night, excuse me.”

“Goodbye, Frank.”

The two of you watched the man walk down the hallway until he got lost in a turn and then the agent turned his attention to you.

“So you're an artist?”

“I try that” you laughed. He took a look at you and then at the picture in front of you, as if he had a hard time believing that you were the creator, of course due to the difference in styles that both elements had “But I like that people don't know, so I can hear honest opinions. And I appreciate yours, you are very kind.”

"I only say what I see"

“Would it be very bold of me if I asked you to be my model one day?” you asked cautiously, hoping not to scare him with your request.

"A model?"

“I really like your jaw,” you exclaimed, pointing a finger in the air at the line you were talking about. “And the way your hair falls. They are nice to paint”

“Well, I…I would be flattered,” Spencer said, not knowing how to react to what you had just said. Something like that had never been suggested to him and he felt strange, but excited at the same time.

“Do you want to write me your number?”

“I can give you my card,” he stammered, digging in his briefcase so he could give you the piece of paper. When he extended it to you, you analyzed it with curiosity.

“Dr. Spencer Reid. FBI” you read, quite impressed “So we both got a surprise today, huh?”

"Definitely"

“I'll call you,” you promised, pocketing the card warily and rewarding him with one of yours. They were simpler with hand-painted details and with fewer titles, but it would be useful for him to contact you “And who knows, maybe the next time you come it will be you who is in the gallery.”

Spencer blushed at the thought and smiled at you, wondering how possible that was. You responded to the smile with pleasure, because unintentionally you had just found the one who would permanently become your muse.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove @vivian-555 @r-3dlips @rhiannonhippiegirl @taygrls @simp4f1 @sdddoobydoobydoo @taintedstranger

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x you #flufftober 2023 #prompt list #writing challenge #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid drabble

[mamoonde]

dadxian who has a tattoo over the long jagged scar on his belly. a tattoo which facinates 2 y/o a-yuan, who's been told that's where he sprouted.

(it's not. but it made a-yuan turn from teary eyed breakdown to starry eyed awe, so. whatever works.)

a-yuan likes to look and rub the pretty tattoo-scar. and so, it has become a thing that if a-yuan needs extra comfort or has been especially good, he gets "tummy time." which is nice and all when they're at home.

but then one time, they go to the big city to buy a-yuan's Big School stuff, and after a solid three hours of keeping close to his baba and not wandering off or asking to buy new toys or asking to be carried, a-yuan deems he Deserves some tummy time.

"—we'll just pay for these at the cashier then we'll be off to lunch and—"

"Tummy Time!" A-Yuan declares, sticking his hand up Wei Ying's shirt. In public. In the middle of the long queue to the cashier. At the big stationary store.

Of course at that exact moment, the tall, broad-shouldered guy in front of him turns around. And makes eye contact. (And eye-to-tummy contact.)

It takes another moment for wei ying to realize he actually Recognizes the man.

"Wei Ying...?"

...And that Lan Zhan, his highschool crush and maybe-friend, also recognizes him, too.

embarrassingly, their drawn out staring is cut off by a pointed cough and the woman at the cashier calling out, "next!" in that tone that suggests she's been calling for a while.

The whole time, A-Yuan still has his hand up Wei Ying's shirt, patting and pinching at his soft belly where his fave part of the tattoo is.

By the time they finish ringing up all of A-Yuan's new school stuff, Wei Ying finds Lan Zhan still waiting for them outside the store.

"Would you like to have lunch together?" Lan Zhan asks first. Wei Ying is too surprised to do anything but say yes.

"Pretty gege eat with us?"

Wei Ying barks out a laugh. "Yes, it seems so! Why don't you introduce yourself to the pretty gege?"

A-Yuan finally releases his grip on Wei Ying's stretched out shirt to wave shyly up at Lan Zhan.

"Hi, I'm A-Yuan and I'm baba's. Are you baba's too?"

Wei Ying, who has been enjoying watching Lan Zhan's ears turn red at being called pretty gege, now takes his turn with embarrassment.

"Ah aha A-Yuan, not all people I know are mine—"

"Mn." Lan Zhan cuts in. "I am Lan Zhan, Wei Ying's friend."

Friend. Yes, that's what they were.

Over the course of lunch, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan catch up:

No, Wei Ying didn't die in that notorious car crash like the rumors may have implied.

But yeah, that may have been the last straw that broke the Jiang family apart — tho therapy and jiejie have been working in making him believe it wasn't his fault.

Lan Zhan has become an editor at a major publishing house.

Neither of them are married. (through a long, winding explanation cut off multiple times awkwardly)

By dessert, it's also apparent that Lan Zhan has a sweet tooth and a soft spot for children. Especially ones with A-Yuan's level of cuteness.

Wei Ying watches in awe as the two devour their own slices of chocolate cake with equal enthusiasm (if more grace, on Lan Zhan's part).

Needless to say, A-Yuan gets attached to his shiny new pretty gege who treats him to more sweets and toys after lunch.

Wei Ying's protests are all ignored, if not absolutely gutted by not one, but TWO 🥺 pitiful 🥺 somehow identical pouts every time he tries.

Somehow, by the end of the day – much later than Wei Ying had planned – he and A-Yuan go home with Lan Zhan's contact details and a promise to meet with Lan Zhan again.

The meetings turn from once or twice a month to weekly, then with an addition of nightly video calls.

What first had been calls dominated by A-Yuan's latest art exhibit exclusive to Zhan-gege, becomes more and more filled with one-on-one chats between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan.

Long story short, A-Yuan soon gains a diedie 🥰

Unfortunately, his diedie's belly is too hard; baba remains his exclusive go-to for Tummy Time.

Until he hits 8 and is apparently too much of a "pre-teenager" by then for Tummy Time.

It's ok. Lan Zhan never misses out Tummy Time.

The End 🥰

(of another This-Wasn't-Supposed-To-Be-A-Thead)

ALSO thought more and more abt Wei Ying's scar tattoo and thought of the scar being drawn like a crack from which a fiery nine-tailed-fox leaps out of, and from which lotus stems also grow out of like a gnarly portal sprouting beautiful/cute things

and then over the years little tidbits inspired by A-Yuan & LWJ also get added:

little colored stars shooting out

a small pair of bunnies cuddling on one of the lotus pads

#TUMMY TIME #another this wasn't supposed to be a thread #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #mdzs fic #baby a-yuan #tummy time #the dad and kids behind me at the store today were too cute #the dad had a hand on top of liddol son's head as he spun in place like a top #while he explained to his slightly older daughter how to make an art proj #then liddol son went when asked what they wanted after lunch #and stuck his hand up his dad's shirt and smarted smacking his belly #idk what was under that shirt but #wy would just carry on just like he did #mamoonde fics

[vorrentis]

Nayeon x Reader x Tzuyu - Worth Fighting For!

For this one both Nayeon and Tzuyu are the same age and go to the same high school together and Twice hasn't been formed.

===================================================

Being a K-Pop idol is not that easy.

K-Pop idol fans know just how hard it is to make it in the industry.

In fact, there are still many idols today who haven't been able to see the amount of success despite all their hard work and efforts.

Most people who have succeeded through hard work and sacrifice would probably tell you that there were moments where they wanted to call it quits.

While the degree of success isn't always the same amongst people, a rule that never changes is that hard work will eventually pay off in some way or form.

At least that's what you try to keep telling your two best friends: both of whom are trying to become idols themselves.

Chou Tzuyu and Im Nayeon.

Both are training with each other to become the best and be famous all around.

You?

You were just a supporter, a friend, a fan. While you didn't want to become an idol, you helped them out anyway you can...like right now.

=========================================

You three got into your car, with Nayeon in the back and Tzuyu in the passenger.

"Well...I think we did better than the last one." Tzuyu spoke up as you start the car.

"Wasn't enough anyway." Nayeon said in the back. "Those judges were harsh."

"Hey you were great, you both were. It's just that JYP is a hard industry to get into." You said starting the car. "How about a celebratory dinner?"

"Well if you're buying." Tzuyu asked as you nodded.

Tzuyu looked back and nodded. "Fine."

"Then let's find something along the way home."

====================================

You three just ordered dinner and were eating on the appetizers.

Since you paid for the whole dinner, both girls took advantage as they ordered the really good food.

You didn't mind though, these girls deserved it...with all their hard work for today's audition for Big Hit Entertainment...their third trial for it to which they also failed the other two times.

While you should be thinking of how to improve their talent...you couldn't help, but stare at the two as they chatted amongst themselves.

Yeah...it was pretty obvious to everyone except the two.

You had a crush on them...yes both of them.

You didn't know yourself and you didn't know why you began to see them like that.

Maybe it was the amount of talent they had. Their vocals and dance moves were impressive.

Maybe it was the amount of work they put in. Never straining nor giving up, keeping the positivity in their minds.

Maybe it was their visuals. They each were insanely beautiful in their own way. Tzuyu with her stunning beauty that looks like a work of art with her long flowing brunette hair that framed her face perfectly with, and Nayeon with her cute demeanor that just flows with happiness to everyone with her smile to kick off anyone's day.

...maybe it was all three.

But...you had thoughts about holding back...no way did they have time for you...and even if they did, once they became idols, it was known that dating has been an issue towards every agency.

Was it tough...yes.

Was it heartbreaking...yes.

But you held back, but it was difficult.

Overtime it just...grew. Grew that you couldn't wait to see them, hang out with them, talk with them, goof off with them.

Heck, call yourself crazy, but you even dreamt about them.

Right now you were just their assistant in helping them in their career. Whether it be driving them, hanging out handing them water and towels. Critiquing them during practice or just be there cheering them on while they were performing.

You didn't do much, but you were there for them.

And they appreciated it.

But you only thought that they see you as that...a supporter...a fan...a friend.

It hurt yeah...but nevertheless you were there for them.

"(YN)...(YN)?" You were brought out of your thoughts when Nayeon spoke to you.

"Are you okay." You realized that the food arrived and they were going to start eating.

"Y-yeah, just thinking. Sorry."

"It's fine."

"So...when is the next one?"

"Well this one is Pledis and it's in two weeks I think." Tzuyu spoke up.

"That's not far."

"No it's not, plus with our concert for the fundraiser at school in a little more than a month...it's going to be hectic." Nayeon said.

------------------

The fundraiser was an annual school event that helped bring in lots of people around to help with donations.

This year was to the animal shelter and the school has been cleared to host such an event this year.

And every year was a big success, bringing in many crowds of people and money towards their goal.

Food, music, dancing, singing, rides...it was like a pop up amusement park for one night of fun.

Nayeon and Tzuyu both signed up to be one of the many performers that were to perform live, they figured it be good experience for them along with their regular auditions.

--------------------

"Don't worry too much Tzuyu."

"Sorry it's just...today's performance wasn't as we planned. I messed up on a couple of notes." Tzuyu said.

"Yeah, I even almost tripped on the 2nd song...god that was embarrassing, it's no wonder they didn't call us back for another round." Nayeon spoke up

"Hey," You suddenly got their attention. "Girls, really, you did great and sure it may not be this time...but I know for a fact that you and you will be chosen for an agency. It takes time...plus you've only been at it for two years now. You'll only get better."

They both looked at you in the eyes and saw how soft they were and at that moment their bodies felt...at ease.

It was funny to them, only you seemed to do this to them after every mess-up or failed audition they had...which including this one was now four.

They were glad that you were friends with them.

"Thank you (YN)." Nayeon said as Tzuyu nodded.

You nodded and picked up your glass.

"Shall we toast."

Tzuyu rolled her eyes as Nayeon giggled, but they did it anyway.

"To you two having a successful audition at Pledis." The three clanked their glasses and drank their drinks.

Then the three of them went to eating.

===========================================

You went home after you dropped off the two at their homes and into your room and sat on your desk and checked on your computer at your e-mail.

To your surprise, an email caught your eye.

"Come on...please this one."

As soon as you read, 'Thanks for auditioning, but we regret-'

You pounded the desk.

"Damn it..."

Then you crossed off something.

"Well, they didn't care."

Thought-out the months you've been sending in the videos of both Nayeon and Tzuyu to multiple agencies, each and every time you could possibly do so...but no one has answered positivity.

While you didn't need to, you wanted to...for them.

They been doing this for so long and you felt that they need a push.

Even going as far as going to the companies themselves...didn't work out though well for each visit as they were not interested in hearing you out.

You didn't tell them though.

You didn't want to tell them that no one seemed interested in them.

You could only imagine their reaction to that.

...but at this rate, that seems to be getting to reality.

So you kept it a secret from them till someone would come and allow them to train in their agency.

So far...no luck though, but that didn't stop you from trying.

==================================================

ONE MONTH LATER

The three were currently driving to Nayeon’s house after another audition.

You were cheering for each one as they each performed their hearts out...but...

The judges were not impressed with what they saw...this has been the third time this month, and the judges weren't pleased.

The first one was back in JYP, the second was Pledis and this one was now Plan A...all three with mild attraction to the two.

They weren't terrible according to the judges, it was just they didn't have that 'oomph' that they were looking for.

You saw the girl's faces devastated after their remarks.

And each time you picked them up, they didn't look too good.

No one said a word as the silence was there as you drove a few streets down.

"Hey girls...great performance as usual." You said breaking the silence...

"..."

"..."

You looked towards them at a red light.

Tzuyu had her hand supporting her head while she leaned against the window. Nayeon looked out the window her arms crossed.

You drove Tzuyu back home first as she was the closest and all three didn't say a word on the car ride.

You didn't try to talk as Nayeon was clearly upset and Tzuyu clearly sad, but you had to do something...it was breaking you to see them like this.

---------------------------------------

"Alright Nayeon." You got out of your car and went around to open hers, but she got off on her own.

Then you walked alongside her to escort her to the front door.

The door opened as you both were nearing it and Tzuyu's mom was there to greet you.

"Hello (YN), how was it Nayeon?"

"..." She didn't answer as she stepped in the house, her mom sighed.

"Well that answers my question...thank you (YN) for taking her and back." She said.

"No worries...actually may I talk to her? She's a bit-"

"Upset."

You nodded.

"Yeah, go ahead."

You bowed and thanked her.

You turned around and caught Tzuyu’s attention as you held up one finger to give you a minute, as she nodded.

Her mom let you inside, as you headed to her room.

---------------------------------

KNOCK KNOCK

"Not now mom."

"Nayeon it's me...may I come in?"

"...okay."

You opened the door to see her sitting at her desk with her arms folded on it.

"Hey." You said as you went next to her and leaned against her desk.

"Nay, I'm sorry about today...there was some tough competitors, some of them trained for like seven years I heard."

"..."

"I mean they were probably trained under prestige trainers, and you and Nayeon were up against them."

"..."

"Nayeon, please say something."

"...Me and Tzuyu are thinking...about quitting."

You blinked for a couple of seconds before nudging your head.

"You're serious? Nayeon it's been six auditions. They'll be more."

She shook her head.

"You don't understand (YN), Tzuyu and I have been trying to get into an agency for two years...two years (YN)!"

"I know Nay, but we three knew that it wasn't going to be that easy, you know others have been up to ten years before even getting into one." You reasoned.

"Ten years...I don't think I can last that long...I'm so god damn tired of this." She said as she fisted the desk.

"Nayeon relax."

"Relax?! How can I relax (YN)!? Another performance and not one of them was impressed." Nayeon shook her head as you nodded.

"I know it's difficult Nayeon, but you just have to keep trying...plus the fundraiser will attract-"

She then turned and glared at you while standing up towards you.

"Trying? You're not the one feeling embarrassed or tired or pitied!" Nayeon said poking your chest. "Everything we've been doing seems like nothing at this point!"

"Nay-"

“We’ve have spent the last years finding time for us to train, to sing, to dance, to perform and no one doesn't even seem to care about how much work we put in! So don't 'I'm sorry' or 'next time' me (YN) because you don't know what it's like to fail again and again!" She yelled at your face.

"Nayeon-"

"You have no idea how difficult this is! All you do is stand there, do nothing and watch us fail! How about you do something!"

"..."

The room went silent for a few moments.

That hurt...

You shook your head. 

"Okay...I'll leave you be then," you muttered as you walked towards the door and left her as Nayeon sat on her bed and placed her face in her hands.

Her emotions getting high.

----------------------------------------------------

You immediately got back in your car and closed the door and sighed deeply.

"What happened?" Tzuyu asked.

"Nayeon got angry at me."

She widened her eyes.

"An-what happened?"

"I said how sorry I was and she went off at me. She also told me that you two wanted to stop doing all this, that's not true right?" You looked at Tzuyu as she sighed and looked down.

"Oh come on Tzu, you can't give up." You leaned forward as Tzuyu shook her head.

"What they said...it hurts (YN)..."

"They're comments Tzu. You shouldn't listen to them."

"Yeah, but it's the same comments over and over and...sigh, I don't know, maybe we're just thinking it's pointless."

You reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Tzuyu, you can't think like that."

"How can I not (YN)! You heard them...the whole audience heard them...everyone heard them...we're no good..."

"Tzu-"

"Please (YN)...just, just take me home..." Tzuyu turned her body the other way as you kept your look.

You opened your mouth but closed it.

While you understood their emotions, it was just plain stupid that they were thinking that way.

"Alright..."

-----------------------------------

After you dropped Nayeon off, you didn't bother talking to her. 

She didn't say a word at all during the ride, so you didn't see the point.

While you get that they were upset or depressed, you knew that there were going to be roadblocks and struggles for them...

You went to your room and you sat on your computer as you sighed deeply...what were you going to do...

Then you realized...

The fundraiser...

Maybe just maybe...

Then you checked your email as you looked through each one...until one caught your eye.

"Come on...come on...YES!"

Then you had an idea...it might be far-fetched and crazy, but it might work.

=====================================

THE NEXT DAY

"And here we are."

You walked inside the lobby of an agency...well if you can call it that.

It was an agency with some groups in it, not well-known groups, but you heard some songs from them and they were actually okay for the most part.

The agency, NV Uprising, was rather well known for bringing in talent and having them trade or sent towards big agency names all around, including some that went to JYP and Big Hit for example.

You didn't tell both Nayeon and Tzuyu, they were busy practicing their performance for tomorrow's fundraiser. 

So instead of with them, you went to meet up with the boss, Mr. Huim, himself.

This was a lesser-known agency so you didn't bother with it before...but you were getting desperate.

There may be other performances, but with the results going like this...it wasn't looking to good.

You'll admit you got their spirits up for this one...so maybe they'll put up a performance like no other.

That's why you're here...to meet the man and hopefully send in some scouts to see them.

-------------------------------------------------

You stopped in front of the receptionist. A brunette hair lady.

"Hello...I'm here to see Mr. Huin."

"Name?"

"(YN) (LN)."

"Hmm...I'm sorry, I don't see your name on the meeting block." You blinked 

"Uh, that can't be right. I even confirmed it over the phone." You leaned forward on the counter.

"I'm sorry sir, but he's already in a meeting with someone right now. We can make an appointment in two weeks."

"Two?! Oh no no no, I can't do-listen, I need to talk to him right now."

"Well I'm sorry sir, but that won't be possible." She sternly spoke as you leaned back, sighed and looked around...you saw a lone security guard just walking around and a couple of elevators in the back of the lobby.

"...Okay then...I'll make one...may I use your restroom first?" The lady nodded and pointed.

"It's right there on the right. I'll have your information ready when you return. And I am sorry about the mishap."

You thanked her and walked slowly towards the bathroom eyeing the guard then you stepped into the bathroom only for you to peek out of it to see him.

With luck, he turned around and you swiftly, but silently went towards the elevator.

You didn't look back as you quickly got inside the elevator and hid your body in the corner and pressed a button at the top of the buttons, if you know anything about bosses, their offices are always at the top.

As the door closes you see the elevator start to rise up.

You let out a breath of air as your heart was pumping...you were sure to get into real trouble for this.

------------------------------------------------

Then you saw the number light up to the 7th floor as you stepped off.

You saw the receptionist sitting there as she looked at you and you walked past her.

"Ohh excuse me...sir!" You heard the receptionist say as you walked past her and flung the big doors open to reveal a man behind a desk writing something on his desk.

He stopped and looked up.

"Who are-"

"I need to talk to you! It's about upcoming rookies, they're the best young talented duo you'll ever meet!" You were speaking your mind and heart out.

"Mary call security. Now." He pressed the phone on his desk.

"They work hard, write their own music and can perform-"

"Kid, I don't know who you are, but you are trespassi-"

"My name is (YN) (LN) and I want to speak about recruitment! Please hear me out!"

"Are you-Klein, how the hell did s/he get here!?" You turned and saw two buffed men in suits walking towards you.

"Whoa, whoa whoa wait-"

They grabbed your arms as you struggled.

"Sorry sir, he must have slipped past us in the lobby."

"It's fine Klein, just take him away." He said as your eyes widened. "And no need to call anyone, just kick him out and ensure he doesn't return."

They nodded and proceeded to carry you out.

"No wait, sir please." You said loudly, "I ain't leaving till you hear me! I ain't!" Was the last thing you shouted before the doors closed.

"Tsk...I really need to add more security in this place." Mr. Huin said as he continued his work as if nothing happened.

------------------------------------------

You were pushed hard out the door by both men, one of them, Klein, stood at the doorway.

"You're lucky my boss is in a good mood or you'd be arrested for trespassing. Now get out kid, before we make you regret it." Klein spoke up as the other nodded.

You turned at him and glared.

"I'm not going anywhere, I will talk to Mr. Hein!"

They didn't say anything, but closed the main entrance and stood to the side of the door on the inside.

"Well I ain't leaving from this spot! You hear me!" You yelled out at them.

You then went and sat on the stone floor near the door as you crossed your arms and sat there.

You didn't know what you were thinking, but you weren't just going to leave without consulting the man first.

"Tsk, stupid kid...should we throw her/him out some more." One guard asked.

"Nah, s/he's not inside the building and as long as s/he doesn't disturb the people, then we're good," Klein said as the other nodded.

"I give him thirty minutes."

===========================================

TIMESKIP

6 hours later

Well, the guard failed in his time as not one, not two, not three, but six hours passed.

You sat there on the ground, not moving, not checking your phone, not eating, not drinking, but sat there.

Many passersby noticed you and just asked if you were okay as you nodded.

The two guards were still standing there as well, but mostly on one-person shifts.

You could see them through the glass doors.

"S/He still there?" Klein asked as he came back.

"Yeah...stubborn little brat."

"Or determined," Klein expressed.

Then a sound of thunder cracked the sky as you looked up.

Dark clouds were starting to form and the wind was getting chilly.

DRIP...DRIP...DRIP DRIP DRIP

The rain started dropping as you sat there in front of the entrance...you brought a sweater thank god for that...but the rain was making it wet and cold.

Soon enough it started pouring.

You were still sitting there as the rain washed over you. You put the hood up to ensure your face to not soaked, but you weren't going to give in.

"Hehe, good. Now maybe s/he'll leave." The other guard said as Klein just stared at you.

"I don't know about that..."

Suddenly you stood up from your spot as the other laughed.

"Told you." The guard said, but he frowned immediately.

He saw you got up and moved a bit under the building for you to place your backpack under a nearby dry spot near the wall and returned back to your place and sat, glaring at the two.

"Whatever, no way is he going to stay. The weather says it'll be like this for the whole night." The other guard spoke up as Klein stared at you in silence.

10 minutes...

20 minutes...

30 minutes...

About 44 minutes have passed since the rain started.

You were shivering on the spot as the cold air and water were getting to you, your hands clearly shaking from the cold.

You felt so cold that you might have died...but it was for them as you kept that on your mind.

At this time, multiple staff and some idols were looking at you through the doors, questioning who you were.

"How long is s/he going to be there?"

"Isn't s/he cold?"

"Who is s/he?"

Where some of the questions were asked as Klein called his boss once more.

"Sir? Yeah s/he's still there, want me to call the cops?...you sure?...alright, we'll be there," Klein put his phone back in his pocket, "alright Rammus, we're bringing her/him in." Klein spoke up as Rammus locked his eyes on his friend.

"You can't be serious?"

"Boss's orders. The dumbass kid could get hypothermia out there." Klein then went to the counter and got an umbrella from the receptionist, he thanked her and left outside.

You didn't hear the door opening as you faced the floor, the rain was pounding on your head and back and all you heard was the splatter of each drop and thunder in the sky.

And then...the rain stopped pouring on you as you looked up in confusion.

Then your eyes widened when one of the men in suits had an umbrella over your head.

"Alright kid, you made your point."

"D-does h-h-he want t-t-" You were shivering hard.

"Yes, now hurry up and get your pack."

You nodded as you stood up with your frozen body you moved slowly as Klein followed you to your pack, grabbed it, and went inside the building with him.

Multiple sets of eyes were on you as you walked forward, heavy breathing from you as you breathed hot air into your hands.

'Finally...'

"Alright, first things first, you need to get out of your clothes. I'll give you something as soon as I find something."

You nodded and headed into the bathroom where he pointed out.

-----------------------------------------------

After a couple of minutes, they came back with clothes that they borrowed from a few idols there. 

Each one gave an extra article of clothing they had in their locker rooms for practice.

Both guards saw you coming out with a white long sleeve hoodie, athletic pants, and some socks on with no shoes.

Then Klein came over and lent you his jacket as you thanked him.

"What's your name?" Klein asked.

"(Y-(YN)...(LN)." You said as your breath hitched.

"Hmm...well (YN)...you got balls, I'll give you that." You nodded unable to say anything. "Well, let's go meet him."

Rammus joined the both as he walked alongside you into the elevator with the doors closing behind.

=============================================

You went through the same doors as before and stopped to see the guy again.

"Here s/he is sir," Klein spoke up.

"Thank you." You heard the man as Klein looked at you.

"Okay go on in," Klein said as you walked into the carpeted room seeing Mr. Huin sitting as you previously saw.

"Klein, a cup of coffee...you drink coffee right?" You nodded. "Coffee then." Mr. Huin said as Klein nodded. "Rammus, bring a snack for him as well." Rammus nodded and bowed as he left.

"Alright, (YN) was it?" You nodded. "You know what you were doing was very stupid."

"I-I came to talk to you." You still were cold, but not as bad as before.

Mr. Huin had to admit, you had determination.

"Alright, talk. You were talking about two girls correct?"

"C-correct, I-Im Nayeon...and Chou Tzuyu..." You said as you went to your pack and grabbed your phone from it. 

You scrolled into your phone and showed him photos of them as you handed them to him.

He grazed your hand for a bit and noticed the intense coldness of it as he slide his finger through each photo.

"Hmm....well, got to hand it to you, if you're willing to starve and freeze to death out there for them, they must be something."

"T-they are..."

"Age?"

"B-both eight-teen..."

"And you?"

"M-me too...I-I'm their friend. Same school..."

"And do you have some of their work?"

"I h-have a disks of their performa-"

"Here you go." You look to your side to see Klein with a type of cloth and a cup of coffee that was steaming.

"Thank you." You got the coffee and immediately gulped the liquid, not caring about the hotness of it going down your throat... (the coffee people, this ain't a smut)

"It's the best I could find." He added as he handed you the cloth.

"No worries," you took it from him with one hand, while the other was with your cup, "I'm getting warmer anyway." He nodded.

Just then you heard a cough on either side of you, from the other guard that originally threw you out.

He was carrying a plate of donuts and placed them on the table.

"Thanks." You said as he nodded.

"Klein, Rammus. Please give us some privacy." They both nodded and left the room.

"As I was saying, I have a drive with their performances, both in practices and in public auditions."

"Oh?..lets see them shall we." You handed him the drive as he placed it in his computer and clicked on the first video.

Throughout the video, you observed his face.

He seemed to have a poker face throughout, but you caught him smiling at some parts of the video and nodding his head at some of them.

You kept your poker face up as well to keep up with the professionalism till he pressed his space bar on the keyboard to pause the video.

"Well I got it to them, their vocals are pretty impressive, especially the smaller one."

"Nayeon."

"Nayeon." He repeated as you nodded. "Okay. The choreography could use help, but it ain't the worst I've ever seen...and you said they wrote some singles?"

"Yes," you got your backpack and pulled another drive of their songs on it. "It's just three, but each one has a different meaning and story behind the lyrics."

He grabbed the drive case and inspected it and looked at you.

"Are you like their manager?" He said.

"I'm just...doing whatever it takes to get them to stardom...it's been their dream since they were kids, well since I could remember. And lately, they haven't been doing well and it's taken a toll on them and I figured your agency might be the one for a starting step for them. I read about it, some major singers started here."

He looked at you as he inserted the drive.

"Yeah, our company is known for that. While we don't have big groups ourselves, it's a great start for idols to start their career. We're considered the g-league of the idol industry, but the most major companies often come and pick out most of our idols here."

"Exactly, I just want them to be successful, have a career and just live their life."

He gave a small smile while clicking on the drive.

"Hehe, well, let's take a listen shall we." You nodded.

Like the last video, he heard each song and nodded at some of the lyrics. He kept his poker face though as he listened in.

He then pressed the space key to pause and pulled out the disk.

"Well got to say, lyrics are pretty good. I understand the concept and story behind the words. Their vocals ain't bad either, but maybe a rap or even an instrumental behind it would work." He suggested as he listened to the songs.

"But it's good right?" You asked as that was what you wanted to hear.

"Oh yes, it is." You grinned. "Hmm...tell you what (YN), I'll talk to some others and we'll take a look at them. Audition for us personally. And if they perform like what I saw, then they might be something here."

Soon your body just went in a warm state as you looked at him astounded.

"R-really?"

He nodded.

You smiled and swore you were about to cry in front of the man as you felt your emotions rise.

"Easy, didn't say they got in or anything." He waved his hands as you just chuckled out of bliss.

"S-sorry...i-it's, it's been the only positive thing I've heard for a while." You said looking down.

Mr. Huin looked at you with a slight sympathy as he smiled.

"Well just tell them to come and I'll bring in instructors to witness them." He asked of you, but you shook your head.

"Actually, they're about to perform tomorrow." You told him as he raised a brow. "It's at a fundraiser at our school..." You said sheepishly. "I know it's probably not the best place, but I figured you might see how well they do in front of a crowded auditorium filled with people rather than you and some others. Plus they have this routine all prepped up for it too and they won't be expecting anyone in any agency there." You explained as he just chuckled.

"You're young, but you got agent vibes (YN). You had this all figured out didn't you?" He said and you looked away in embarrassment. "Okay. Then give me the address and time."

Your eyes widened.

"You'll really go?" He shrugged.

"Sure, I don't have anything planned for tomorrow. It's in the late afternoon right?" You nodded. "Good, then I'll see them live and if they perform as they did on the disc, well hopefully the others will be amazed as well."

You nodded and quickly wrote the information on a sticky note, not feeling the cold and numbness of your hands no longer, and handed it to him.

"Okay, well if you have any further questions, I believe we are done." He stood up and held out his hand. "(YN), thank you and I'm terribly sorry about what you went through."

You returned the shake.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry about breaking in."

"Hehe...keep the clothes. I'm sure the wet ones are still wet anyway."

You bowed and left the room as Mr. Huin eyed you leaving and then sat down and smiled as he went back to work, making a note for the concert.

You stepped outside the building and looked up at the dark clouds and raised your hands and yelled in happiness.

"YEAH!"

You did it...finally, you actually convinced someone to see if they might have a chance to join an agency.

Now was the second phase.

=================================================

THE NEXT DAY

You called Nayeon and Tzuyu over, since it was a Sunday they didn't have much to do so they complied after you said it was very important.

You were very excited, but you didn't want to tell them about the scouts coming over...it might overreact to them if they knew some agency was coming.

But you knew they didn't have any interest at all for the fundraiser...so you came up with a plan and speech last night.

You hoped it worked.

DING DONG

The doorbell rang and you went down the stairs swiftly and opened the door reveal Nayeon herself.

"Nayeon." You spoke, but your tone was groggy and gross.

Nayeon noticed it immediately as she frowned.

"(YN), are you okay..."

"I know, I'm getting sick, but what I have to say couldn't wait. Come on in." You sidestepped as she walked in and you closed the door. You turned to the stairs, but Nayeon blocked you.

"Wait (YN), before anything...I'm sorry. I'm sorry about getting angry at you. I was upset and-"

You held her shoulder

"It's okay Nay. I understand."

"No (YN) I-"

"Nay it's okay. Really. Come on. I need you to come with me right now."

You didn't care about her apology right now as you were focusing on the task at hand. 

She just nodded and followed you as you opened the door to your room and Tzuyu sitting on your bed.

"Nayeon?" She called her as she looked up from her phone.

"Tzu? What's going on (YN)?" Nayeon asked.

"Can you sit please." You asked of Nayeon, “please." You asked once more as Nayeon just stared for a second, but sat next to Tzuyu.

"(YN) are you really okay? Doesn't it hurt when you speak?" Tzuyu asked as you shook your head.

"A bit. It is a sore throat, but I'm good. I just really need to talk to you both."

"(YN), we appreciate it that you care and are trying to help, but it's-" ou waved your hands.

"Look I know what you both said. I get it, but so do others."

They look confused.

"Others?" "Who?"

You grinned.

"I know you two aren't doing so well right now, but I want to show you some photos as well as a bit of information to each one."

You took your phone from your desk and opened your photo section. You went to one and turned it around to them.

They had questionable looks on their faces.

"That's IU...so what?" Nayeon recognized.

"Yup...the famous IU, probably the most popular K pop idol right now...she had quite the hardship when she started her career. She tried out numerous times at multiple agencies but was turned down each one...all 20 of them, including JYP. Eventually, her talents were noticed by Loen Entertainment and she debuted as a solo artist. It took her three years till she became a trainee."

The girls remained quiet as you flicked to another photo.

"That's Choa. AOA." Tzuyu pointed.

"She faced a really tough time when she was trying to become an idol. She tried out at JYP Entertainment and SM Entertainment but neither worked out. She had a hard time auditioning for both of them where she failed their auditions 15 times. 15 times girls. It took her six years before she became part of FNC."

Both girls looked at one another.

"But she didn't give up. Not after the first, not after the fifth, not after the tenth. She kept on working hard and then FNC found her. And the rest is history."

Both girls were starting to realize what you were doing.

Then you swiped another photo.

"Hani? But didn't she get in?" Tzuyu asked as you nodded.

"Yes, she got into JYP. She wasn't rejected and she was actually a trainee there but she ended up being cut by them. Do you both know why?" They shook their heads. "By the lack of faith, she had in herself. Kind of like two familiar girls I know right now."

Both girls just looked slightly away.

That was harsh, but they had to learn.

"Then she was scouted by Banana Culture Entertainment and became a member of EXID. So everything worked out in the end. It took her 4 years to do so."

"..."

"..."

The two were learning as to what you were telling them.

Then you flicked to another.

"J-Hope?" Tzuyu said.

"He had six years of training before he decided to try out for JYP and YG. When he wasn't accepted, he kept working hard and signed with Big Hit Entertainment a couple of years later...now the whole world knows his name and his group. Now that I think about it, JYP doesn't do too well with their idols do they...hmph their loss."

"(YN)-"

"Hold on I have one more. The most important one."

Then you brought up two photos, which looked very familiar.

"(YN)...that's us." Nayeon pointed at herself.

"I know. But I don't see just Tzuyu and Nayeon...I see two talented girls, who are willing to push their limits to get to the top...yes they failed auditions...yes they didn't get callbacks...yes they messed up...but that shows how strong they are...they never gave up in believing in their dreams and kept going till one day they will be scouted and picked by JYP, Big Hit, SM, YG."

Both girls were in awe of your words.

"I know it doesn't mean a lot coming from me, but as your number 1 fan and friend, I desire for you two to rise. And just like the other that I showed, you two can be just as popular if not more."

Then Nayeon looked down as Tzuyu looked away. 

"Just know girls, that you're not the only ones who are being down...you're not the only ones who thought that they can't do it...well look at them now...and you're not alone, your family, friends, and I will be behind you picking you up."

They both looked at you and the tears were dropping down their beautiful faces.

"It's okay girls I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just wanted to teach-"

Then they both stood up and lunged at you and hugged you instantly.

You heard their sobs as you held onto them both.

"I'm sorry (YN). I-I'm so sorry..." Nayeon said sobbing in your torso as Tzuyu remained silent.

"It's alright girls. It wasn't going to be easy, we knew that, but you both can do it. I know you can."

They stayed hung onto you as they cried onto your body, Tzuyu on your shoulder and Nayeon on your chest as you patted their backs and soothe them.

A few minutes passed and they were now silencing down.

"Better." You asked. They both pulled away from you and looked at you.

You saw their red eyes and tears streak-faced as they nodded.

"Now then...what are we not going to do?" You looked to Nayeon.

"Give up," Nayeon answered.

"And what are we going to keep doing?" You turned to Tzuyu.

"Achieving our dreams," Tzuyu said this time.

"Good. Now let's be happy girls. You got a big performance tomorrow and we can't have any negative emotions." You said looking right at them as you gave a big smile.

And there it was again.

Both Nayeon and Tzuyu had those feelings in their bodies as they stared into your eyes.

Seeing you caused them both to smile as well. 

"There we go. I'm sorry for the lesson, but I really do believe in you two. I honestly do."

Nayeon and Tzuyu looked at each other and then back to you.

They took a step forward and they hugged you softly this time.

"Thank you (YN)...for everything," Tzuyu stated as she spoke through your shoulder.

"Yeah (YN). You're really incredible. We're glad that you're with us." Nayeon said.

Your heart beats with the closeness and words as you fought the blush coming up your cheeks.

"No worries you two. I'll always have your back."

Both Nayeon and Tzuyu heard as they smiled more and just snuggled into your body.

What you said was true to them, you had always been there for them ever since they could remember. Small things or big things, it didn't matter, they always appreciated your work and support for them.

.

.

"Okay...I'm sorry for ruining the moment, but we need to go over it tomorrow. Are you girls still going to perform?"

Both of them let go of you and nodded. They didn't need a second to think about it. Hearing your words, got them a surge of positive in their systems.

"Yes." "Yup."

You smiled.

"Good, good. What about the routine?"

Nayeon looked at Tzuyu and nodded.

"We have a few planned before we...whatever. But we want you to help us decide which one you like best." Nayeon said as you nodded.

"Well, that's going to be hard since whatever you two choices will be great."

Tzuyu rolled her eyes.

"Come on (YN)."

"What Tzu? It's true." The three of them laughed.

"Alright, can you still talk though?" Nayeon asked you as you nodded. "Okay, then let's get started." She said as the other two nodded.

So with the remaining night, you helped the girls choose which performance/songs they might go with.

They had it on their phones so they had all their plans with them right there.

It was about an hour of deciding, but they got their plans with Nayeon and Tzuyu deciding that it would be best to turn in the night for tomorrow.

But not before thanking you and hugging you one last time.

You then went to your room and lay on the bed. 

As you gave a big sigh.

it was a hectic two days, but everything seemed to be going in order...hopefully

=======================================================

THE NEXT DAY

10 minutes before Tzuyu and Nayeon's performance

Performances have been done decently for the fundraiser, lots of people actually showed up, and the crowd was booming and stockpiling. 

It seemed like a concert by the number of people.

Each group went out and performed to outstanding applause from the audience.

Two girls were ready in their costumes as they were practicing...well not really.

Both Tzuyu and Nayeon was checking their phone, and texting you as you never showed up the whole day at school.

Unfortunately, you got worse in your condition.

You weren't able to talk or move from your bed at all.

Both girls were worried about what was going on.

They would have gone over when school was done, but they needed the girls to participate in a practice session of mic checks, stage, and lighting that took nearly three hours. 

Plus whatever time to get ready for the performances.

You, however, told them that it was okay.

"Nayeon..." Tzuyu said as she was looking at her phone. "S/He's still not able to come. Hope he's okay."

"S/He'll be okay Tzu, let's just get focus on this performance. You know (YN) will want that." Tzuyu let her phone down.

"It sucks that s/he won't see us. It feels weird that s/he's not here supporting us." 

"I know, I feel the same." Nayeon agreed as Tzuyu looked at her.

"Nayeon, Tzuyu, you girls are ready to go out." A staff member spoke.

"Thank you," Nayeon said as she and Tzuyu went to the middle of the stage. "Alright, Tzu, let's do it."

She nodded as they both joined hands and the curtains raised.

==========================================================

And that's that!

Part 2 will be up soon so...

Thanks for pausing your life to reading this! Vote/Comment if you want and hanks again!

#twice #twice nayeon #twice tzuyu #nayeon x reader #tzuyu x reader

[teddybeartoji]

food for the vampire au. comforting geto after his vampire transition and hardships with bloodlust by establishing a care ritual, such as brushing his hair in silence during the first kills period. while is body is still adjusting to this new reality. the experience is otherworldly and it's expected that'll take a short time. and you're there guiding him to manage his thoughts and emotions by reminding him of your touch. sometimes cleaning his hands and changing his shirt (more like just taking it off and letting it fall to the floor, haha). soft humming in the background. the world is peaceful here. maybe his cheeks are still stained in red. to take care of each other. to be loved. it's one of the most important things during such a big change and it touches the very core of his heart. and it turns into a lifelong ritual of intimacy even after geto is well and a skillful vampire. he still falls into the gentleness of having you brush his long, long hair softly. domestic. simplicity in how it takes place. he's forever grateful for the life he's been gifted by your side. i think it's a cute concept. big strong guy gets his long ass hair brushed and care for by his beloved wife.

OMGGGGG MOMO!!!!! THIS IS SOO GOOD????

seriously i had yet to think about that time of their life but i shOULD'VE BEEN DOING THAT ALL ALONG THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

he really is a stray cat who was given a warm home and more importantly someone who takes care of him. washing the blood of his hands and face, washing his hair while he sits in the massive bathtub, combing it, dressing him - it's all done with so much care he doesn't know what to do with himself at first. it all feels so unnatural.

letting him drink your blood (bc he deserves the best) from your wrist, watching him try to hold back on the urge, the need, to drink more. he never takes too much. never. you have to push him to drink more because he has to. silly man. he's just soooooo grateful for you and he doesn't wanna be too much but you just keep reminding him that he isn't. he's here, he's alive, he's with you and he deserves everything in the world.

during the days (first hours maybe even) there's so much happening i imagine him snapping at you or just acting very rash. his hands are jittery because he needs to eat, he needs to drink. and you're so calm and it's throwing him off so much but then you calmly caress his face and offer him your neck with a soft eyes and a smile and it's just ohhhhhh. he knows you'll take care of him. "to take care of each other. to be loved." YEAAHHHHHHH

oh i love them so so so much. it takes sugu a minute to get used to the new lifestyle just like u said bUT YOU'RE THERE AND IT MAKES EVERYTHING OK. and when he gets comfy in his new home and he has finally understood that it's okay to take up space that's when he blooms. i just got the vision of him maybe owning a fucking museum or something like that??? like he definitely has a job (it has to be art related in my head) but yk it's not something where he has to be there all the time. he loves it though. it's an 24h museum. canon bc i said so. and it's free, nobody needs to pay for a ticket bc sugu feels like that's wrong. (this is why the reader loves him. he cares so much.) so sugu goes to visit the museum every other night when it gets dark and he's so happy to see all of the people still there that late? i mean i would go it'd be so fun??? all of the couples and sometimes even some kids running around. makes him smile. OKAY HE'S LIKE A REAL SOFTIE IN MY HEAD IN THIS APPARENTLY SUE ME and sometimes the reader and him go together and they walk through the whole thing hand in hand, reader resting their head on his shoulder. wah cute little vamps

ok i really started spitballing here i'm going off topic but i started thinking about their kills, their food. who'd they drink from? oke literally as i was typing this i thought that they'd just drink from rich people yk i think that's a good one. bc sugu wouldn't really want to drink from some random people bc he feels bad for them a bit i think. and the reader doesn't fuck with the rich people (even though they're literally rich too tf??) i think they think the rich people are TOO SNOBBY and it's funny to drink from them bc they're just so fucking stupid. and it's easy. sugu and the reader are always invited to these fancy parties and everybody wants to be their friend. oh my god wait more rambling incoming. what if they also have a person hired for bringing them people??? that's a little fucked up but well that's just the way it is. they don't always have the time (they just don't wanna bother sometimes) so they hired a guy who like picks people up by offering them i don't know what and then brings them to the manor lmao that's funny. okayokay i'll stop now

BTWWWW MOMO MY SWEET do u have any songs that remind u of them? i have fallen into this soundtrack making hole lmao and it's so fun to hear other people's opinions!!!

@twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat i'm grabbing ur hand and sitting u down here with us bc we're all in this together yayyy

#THANK U FOR THIS MOMO #SERIOUSLY #so fun to talk about them hehehehe #if u ever have any more thoughts about them PLEAAAAASEEEE come and tell me #it's never too much or too long okay????? i just need u to know that #momo <3 #friends!! #mickey can't stop thinking

[khaleesiofalicante]

THIS MF CHAPTER WAS THE SWEETEST THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED AND I AM FULL OF EMOTIONS AND I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR IT. I literally read it while doing exercise because I just couldn't stop and this is peak Max behavior huh...

Can I set that trainer on fire? Or can I at least hit Max on the head to get some sense into him? No but seriously, I love how you portrayed his insecurities and his desire to be the best because he thought he had to be or he was not worthy of anything. And how we see that mentality changing slowly but at the same time some parts of it sticking with him and throughout the story. We see him fall back into it because that's how it is most of the time, just because at one point it gets better, doesn't mean the growth is linear, but at the same time we see him being this completely different person now and encouraging his sons and other people because he doesn't want them to feel the same way he did🥺

David cooking for him on their first date just to make him something without gluten😭. Rip to Max but I would have proposed right then and there. That lady spoke nothing but facts. Also can we really blame Max for moaning at David's cooking? That man had to endure a whole life of horrible cooking. All the more reasons to propose right there!!

"To have love in your life that inspires you to make art of it," You won't fucking believe this babe....

All that first date. It's the sweetest and cutest thing and I have read it all least thrice and will probably go back to eat when I need the sterotonine 🥰🥰 These boys really said "Too much? too intense? Idk what that means because he is the love of my life and I have decided that 5 minutes after knowing him" and I respect that

He felt like every Max in every life would always find every David.

As if this was inevitable.

They were inevitable.

///

As if their lips have known each other for ages.

As if they have been doing this for centuries and not seconds.

As if Max has kissed David in every universe that exists and therefore knows exactly how to kiss him.

They invented soulmates btw💙💙

"That's a nice thought," David smiled at him. "Perhaps you come to France for a mission. As a secret FBI agent." That didn't age like fine wine😔🍷

Greedy David is my aesthetic

The parallel of "Not even close" at the beginning of the chapter being something that Max's head keeps telling him because he thought he wasn't good enough vs at the end of the date with David where it became more than enough, that everything Max was was better than enough.

I always get so emotional with the time skips and now it's not an exception 😭😭 it's been two years!! I'm still processing it!!! Everyone adapting to the changes and making it work as they always did and actually being closer now and Max coming back home instead of just coming back to a place and don't mind my sobbing😭

Max's generation had anticipated backlash. Arthur's generation was ready to fight it. I also adored the way Max thinks about the new generation because many see it as problematic and "disrespectful" and while there's a lot of improvement to be made, he refers to them as people with potential who fight back the way his generation couldn't. You don't know how much I loved that💙

Max looking out for Rafel🥺🥺 btw I am obsessed with Camilla's relationship with Anjali and Rafael. I hope we get to see more of it because I think it's so interesting!!

Arthur and Noah dating!?!? A little bit weird writing my name like that but ok. I mean I am an Arcaid stand, but damn they also make a cute little pair and I'm glad Arthur has someone that kind of love in his life right now 💙

They deserve those vacations!! I say go off! Sometimes forget how fucking rich everyone, except Max, is.😂 Like, malec are living their best life and they could afford a fucking private island for their whole family!! Arthur is paying for his and Lance's trip to France. Don't get me started on David!! Fuck rich people🙄 but also fuck rich people 🥵

They get to sleep on the same bed🥺🥺 and wake up together 🥺🥺 I just love how far they have come!! My friends think I need help after almost tearing up at a character saying goodnight but they don't understand this is my will to life now😭💙💙

Fuck, this was longer than I expected. I just really loved this chapter so much!!! I am so goddamn emotional this is coming to an end but I'm so grateful for the story. It has become one of my favorites and you have once again managed to sneak yet another story into our hearts for us to love and cherish. I can't even put into words how much this story mean to me or how much of an amazing writer you ares, so I hope you know I mean it with my whole heart

💙.💙.💙.

Actual footage of me when Noah identified inter-fic parallels

This chapter was so much to write because going back into their heads as children after writing them as complicated adults was so much fun and so hard too hehe.

I’m so grateful for all the love you show me 🥺🥺🥺

#IALS

[zorkaya-moved]

"Zarina, zarina..."

Covered in thin sheets, Kaveh shifted his position in bed, a toned arm reaching out to drape around her waist, pulling her closer to his own bare body. Gaze did not sttay, as it admired the beauty found beside him, the one he still considered a proper triumph in life; to score the gaze and the heart of Zarina herself, why, had someone witnessed such it certainly would have gone down history. Kaveh, for one, believed it to be as such.

Voice hummed through the dim room, a flickering lamp on his bedside keeping them company as the architect leaned closer to her. " you're so beautiful you make me jealous and smitten at the same time, that's quite the talent ; thank the archons that you offered to pay for my drinks, how else would I have managed to catch your eye way back when? "

Playfully, Kaveh rolled sideways with his hands now seated on each side of Zarina's body, forehead soon meeting with hers. " there are times where I wonder if it's all a dream, as you tend to be too good to be true. If you are a dream..."

His lips sought to hers, leaving the software, warmest of kisses shared; "... I hope I never wake up."

@avaere

He's silly, she thinks. His playfulness, his romantics, his continuous words about how he feels like he doesn't deserve her. He's silly and wonderful, he's beautiful and intelligent, he's warm and wonderful. If anything, it's her who should speak words of concern and mild insecurity, but Sokolova is a selfish woman and she may be a selfless lover in some aspects, she still remains greedy and wanting.

The silverette knows of her vices and her sins: there is eating apathy, there is lack of morals, there is a beastly nature nurtured by the world's cruelty and winter nights as monsters would howl. Kaveh may not know, but he still stays and looks at her like she hung the woman. His touch is warm and the kiss of his lips is better than Celestia's gleam in the skies. He's her Sun and her stars, he's the star to lead her back home into his arms. Money is materialistic and boring, she has enough funds to sustain countless and invest in evenmore, but money never bought her happiness. Well, covering his drinks before seemed to make the right step towards this path of genuine happiness.

It'd be a lie to say she didn't watch him before. If he was selfish and if he was arrogant, she'd not care for him and she'd walk by, but she saw his kindness and she saw his warmth. Stricken by the way his eyes shined when he spoke about art and by the way his voice would get that higher pitch when he got so passionate. Zarina never trusted and believed in love at first sight, but she believed in her deduction and analysis of people: Kaveh was everything she wanted to learn, to keep close, to study, and to... be in her life. As a friend, as a colleague, but this? This was better. As her lover, as the beholder of her heart he placed the last chain around her neck and she was far more grateful for it than he'd ever know.

Lying in bed together is a luxury. To her, at the very least. Kaveh's breathing is even when he sleeps but it seems like their short moment of rest after taking a shower finishes before it's too late. The dim room still doesn't take away from the way how she finds him by her side to be a painting that no one can capture. The messy blonde hair, the pretty eyes gleaming, and his voice making her almost purr at the sound of it. Oh, he's dangerous. He's such a dangerous man and he doesn't know it. He can ask her anything and she just might do it.

Zarina smiles when she feels his hand on her waist, bringing her closer to him. She holds back a chuckle, their chests press against each other (she continues to blame her size for that) but she is happy and delighted at that. He says her name with such tenderness, it melts her frigid heart every single time. Not only that, but she goes as far as to let their legs intertwine. It's not that they even had sex before the bath, this is just pure intimacy. Simple and plain, but so true and genuine. Though, he's making it hard not to want to fool around while he says such things.

He's so silly, she thinks again with her smile becoming wider when she finally opens her eyes when he starts to talk about how glad he is for her paying for his drinks before. He's so silly to think that it's the time when her eyes were on him, he's so silly to think that way. He's wonderful, she's smitten far more than he gets it. If only he knew the thoughts running through her mind when she watches him work or when he vents about Akademiya or Alhaitham or his clients. If only he knew the extent of her lovestruck mind. Then again, maybe it's better he doesn't know the full extend of it.

"This isn't a dream, Kaveh," she decides to tell him this first. Her hand travels up his bicep before she places her hand on his cheek, not wishing to look away from his eyes. Their closeness intoxicates her on warmth alone, but his familiar scent and his touch only intensify her desire to want him in her life forever. No matter what. She wants to kiss him, hug him, hold him, make him happy and know that he's always seen, heard, and hopefully understood by her. "And you didn't catch my eye in that dingy pub."

She playfully gives him a soft peck on his lips before continuing.

"I had my eyes on you since I first saw you in the House of Danea. Specifically, when you were struggling with a new design because the task was too simplistic and didn't allow any creativity," she remembers herself passing by and hearing his talk to himself. She thought he was determined, then she asked around about him and then it was just a wonder here and there. Her own research took her away from meeting more of the students at the Akademiya, especially from other Darshans, but his eyes and his voice? She memorized it. "In the pub, I simply seized an opportunity. There wasn't a better time to get closer, but I didn't expect us to get this close..."

Her gaze softens at those words as she breathes out, holding back from her wish to push him to lie on his back so she can lie on top of him and kiss him all over. He must be tired after this busy week. She didn't even attempt to do anything prior, saying that she wants him to rest and to relax.

"I... I was undeniably charmed by many things in you," she says out loud, letting her knuckles to brush against his cheek. "Your voice, your eyes, your passion, your determination, and your honesty." There is a moment of pause. "The fact that you're really good with your hands might sound dirty, but I genuinely thought about your art skills." A little sprinkle of humor to hopefully get him to laugh or tease her about that, but it's only because she hopes her honesty won't overwhelm him. "Even if we weren't physically close at first, I'd eventually want to be with you. Probably attempt to selfishly steal the spotlight so you'd look at me. But you are here and I guess I do have to thank those drinks and that bill for helping us be here, hm?"

Archons above, she wants to kiss him. It makes her sad that he'll probably dislike traveling to Snezhnaya for its cold climates and its harsh winters. She'd love for him to meet her family; her mother would love him and her father would be playfully test him if he really wants to be with her. She knows little Aleksey would be fascinated by his talents and would be so eager to befriend him. And, well, she knows Victor will like Kaveh, too, especially with Margarita by his side. Wishful thinking. Plus, it must be too early.

"If anyone is a dream here, it's you." My dream.

A double meaning: both concerning the dreams mentioned by Kaveh, but also ultimately intimate for Zarina who always yearned to love, to be loved, and to experience this love to know she was a human.

"This was... oddly romantic of me, wasn't it?" Zarina laughs, thinking how much it must've been to him. Not that she couldn't be romantic, but her words certainly were far sweeter. But they were honest. "I hope it wasn't too much."

#feeling soft in this denny's tonight aven #feeling very fucking soft SOBS #avaere #❄ ― IN CHARACTER. ╱ you breathe by the sun，i breathe by the moon. #this got so fucking long im sorry this is so soft i love them sm

[thedarling]

Rivaled.

12:03 a.m. Nearing spring deadlines at the end of next week and it's going to feel so good getting over that hump. Then, after that, back-to-back trips, plus another to consider at the end of the summer. Every year my family dangles a carrot, insisting that I go to the Cape, and this year it's a sidebar to Salem, Mass. The Cape is great by the way, I just like new places. I kind of hope they have a scrying mirror in Salem that I can buy - you know, witchy shit that I assume they'd have because of history and tourism? We'll see... I'm just ready to get out of Dodge.

12:13 a.m. I'm also ready to wrap up this one commission (more than likely by the end of this weekend, yay). It's been incredibly sweet sending updates and showing friends along the way, one of them having spurred me with a question that honestly surprised me. Getting back into art like I have has been interesting. Nearly everything I do is for fun/art therapy and, if money's involved, I never know how much to charge because I honestly don't care. I'd hope people would pay it forward to real artists since, again, this is all a hobby. Being back in that sphere and having the relationships that I do with others has led to interesting conversations, one of them being the subject of rivalry. People tell me I'm talented, some to the point that they say they envy me, which is fine, I envy them, too - which led to this question:

Is jealousy (i.e. envy) healthy?

To which I say: Of course, it is.

I want to be motivated, I want others to motivate me. People say jealousy doesn't "feel good" but to me, that tells me you're not using it right. Harness it, make it make you better, and when your contemporaries do well, as in better than you, learn to congratulate them instead of sticking your head in the sand. Life's too short to alienate people for when they do well. You want to feel good for them because you'd want them to feel good for you.

I'm proud of my rivals. There is a deep respect there that no one can shake, to which I'll say this:

Anyone who looks at you like you're a piece of shit is not your rival. I know this because I dealt with it for years back in grade school and art school and I can tell you this: nothing feels better than sweeping the floor at art and award shows than with their shit-eating grins. I took home cash prizes and scholarships with them sitting in the fucking bleachers with nothing and they still thought they were better than me (which is their prerogative, it just felt good to prove their dumbasses wrong). But I digress, people like that don't deserve to be on the level with you, because, in reality, those people are fucking dicks. Rivals are deep in the bullpen alongside you, likewise working their shit out and paying their dues just like you, and like me, we are all having a fucking blast while we do it. So, cheers.

#daily blog

[aprothes]

I should say I'm sorry you know who.. I don't really know what's going on half the time zoned in writing everyday wishing these people would leave but they insist over petty drama I did as a kid I apologize God when do you leave when can I go home and cry with time like we used to it's cool to write about it whatever it's all about I half the time constant drama fourth wall broken I wish to time I could continue but everyone forgot about sadness and happiness about old songs that heal hearts I grow tired of numbers being changed being thrown away after years of writing with time I get it a lot of people party and hurt move around... Whom ever it hurt I was too I had everyone by me I can't even watch my own generation the stuff I really miss I haven't had anyone for a long time to really escape with to dream with to let go and it hurts a lot to do music and have someone steal it make it racist wasn't funny my art taken a thousand Aparched To Garnished I burnt after being humiliated after hacked to stolen to lose a lot of money to see my own kings lose faith in someone they should have helped a long time ago the whole world thinks I'm sick the alerts were scary and my father wouldn't stop trying to leave me behind I felt as if they plotted my death I've been calm and it sucks it hurts I hate having to be sober when you're all they talk about with no help no friend to say hey you know this is real right... No one to have tell me it's me and I'm sorry I miss being drunk dude my soul deserves it I'd be whole with who I sold it with... I keep overdosing to not end it but find another home the one I left behind but still rejected I kept dying in my sleep stabbed in the heart nightmares claws animals eating me everytime I slept in that damn house it was amazing for a sec Link Click and work honestly it hurt I was home but the nightmares continued so I danced I took drugs I had payed for fairly to keep paying but people kept stealing saying oh yeah he got the money but yeah that uh was amazing that room the art the piano made for it I never got to find my vibration my home of hours on end of non stop playing if I could like I used to my scar for some reason is on someone else they knew too that you could pass or at least how to mess with me they set me up again someone who I thought was family but keeps messing with vibrations I love him but I did mess up and call on him after I was being accused on constant of something that happened to me as a kid. At a hospital a doctor tried to rape another time I was abducted not the second time but the first messed up the ritual a van pulled up as we all cried for I but honestly I wish I died I was tripping and there was a fight I was in the van but someone took me home a bunch of memories of of bunch of us dying on a lot of was my mother's tattoos aren't the ones I knew I'm really upset about it I wish I was home with them I poored a drink to hear hoodoo voodoo damn miss them at least it tasted like home and I heard them happy for me

[marginalizedmormon]

I thought I had purged my mental files of the negative things that I’ve experienced in Utah but apparently I’m not finished.

Nepotism

prejudice against people who are not them

AR who sat at the breakfast table with me at a birthday brunch, wouldn’t talk to me, make eye contact or eat the casserole I had brought. Had a baby shower for a woman I ministered to, invited all the women in the ward but me. Her best friend’s sons tried not to pass me the sacrament on 3 Sundays. She and her family wouldn’t participate in events I invited them to from birthday parties to scout events. I took them homemade cinnamon rolls when his father died.

I attended funerals, helped with family luncheons, took care of dying friends. When my dad died I got a text that maybe came from the bishop, I'm not sure. On my hardest day, my 2 ministers came over to comfort me

when mom died in my home, I got a text from the bishop, 2 people came up at church to offer condolences and a week later the RS president brought me an orchid. That was it, it really hurt my feelings

A palpable dislike of Californians, especially odd when they haven’t met us or continually exclude us intentionally and I find so many things in California of superior quality. Disneyland vs Lagoon, the San Diego zoo vs the Hogle zoo, Monterey Bay aquarium vs the Sandy aquarium, the Pacific Ocean beaches vs the Salt Lake. Temperate weather and gardening year-round versus heat and snow. Lots of snow. Utah has great skiing but I don’t ski

aggressive, rude drivers -getting rear-ended at a red light, having the driver’s mother contact us saying her daughter has a perfect record and could we let their mechanic fix our car instead of going through the insurance because we were not injured, after we both had whiplash

poor spellers

so many possessive apostrophes on simple plurals

aggressive, rude behavior in public and private

being chewed out by some guy at church for being too busy with college to accept an extra assignment regarding the ward Christmas activity

when I was returning home from the hospital and stopped at smiths to get food, was in line and a woman crowded in front of us, put her groceries on the belt ahead of ours, explaining, not apologizing or asking to go first, that she was in a hurry to get her son to work

the mistaken notion that Utah products are superior to everyone else and Utah businesses must be supported with they deserve patronage or not

The incident in Costco where a woman tried to force me to buy Mrs calls caramels when I was buying Bequet brand which was far superior bcausemrs callsis a Utah brand

The Mandarin restaurant in Bountiful, cupbop, taco time,

ageism, although I was well-qualified for several jobs as an art teacher and was not hired

having a car window shot out

having my son accused of vandalizing a neighbor’s car when he was innocent and had helped the neighbor on several occasions

having my social media hacked multiple times-especially while traveling

being so fed up with the above activities and more subtle bullying and abuse that I refused to attend church with these people, and subsequently moved so I could participate and losing about $140,000 in equity

having a neighbor’s tree fall and tear the electrical wires off of our house and us having to pay for the repair, no power for 3 days and he didn’t offer to pay the $300 to have the power wiring and tower repaired nor did he apologize

not being allowed to serve at Davis High on the PTA, even though my catering skills and creativity far exceeded those I experienced

sitting in temple training and taking notes like I did in San Diego to take back to relief society to share, only to be accosted by some pushy woman as I exited

while in school at the u and working in addition to housekeeping, attending a 7:00 am meeting where the bishop wouldn’t talk or even look at me. There were only 3 of us present

being told women don’t make comments in Sunday school

working as an art teacher for a school with over 600 students and getting paid less than $13 an hour, with not enough hours to teach every class every week, I donated the time for 1 kindergarten class. Having 1/2 hour a week to prep- prepare lessons and art supplies for 630 students with no curriculum in place. I donated as many hours as I got paid for, effectively earning $6.50 an hour with a BFA. Only did it 1 year

being told by a smirking kindergarten teacher that one of her students’ parents complained their daughter wasn’t perfecting her art in my class. I had each class for 25 minutes a week with 25+ students in each class. I was introducing them to techniques and projects they could do independently outside of school.

having a 6th grader kick over my expensive camera on a tripod.the school paid for the repair but it never worked well after that

being repeatedly ignored at church even though I was an emerging artist and author. I wrote 60 articles that were published, was on 16 international radio interviews, made art for Macys city creek, was on television and hardly ever received any recognition or encouragement. There was one man and a neighbor that were very kind and encouraging

ignored and discouraged by the intake editor at shadow mountain

When I requested my records be transferred to a neighboring ward, I was told by the stake president that the 1st presidency had to approve the request. When I asked why the people in Kaysville 10 ward were so mean, he replied that they don’t like change and that I was fat. There were people in our ward that resided in another ward’s boundaries. They were wealthy.

was told by the adult daughter of a man who had been excommunicated for “outside ideas” that we didn’t fit the profile required by that ward

from my perspective, so many Utahns are culturally, artistically and intellectually deficient but they insist that if you are not doing it their way, you are wrong and deserve shunning or worse

[eevyerndracaneon]

Hey, I don't mean to intrude or anything, being a stranger on the internet and all. Don't feel the need to answer this ask or anything but, I just hope you can hear me out and maybe something I say can help a bit... I've seen some of your posts today, I'm sorry you're going through the ringer. I've got a good couple of friends who deal with the very similar struggles and whatnot, so I just wanted to say pretty much what I always tell them regarding some of what you're feeling. I dunno your specific situation, and I know a lot of things are way more difficult to just outright fix than some people will say it is, so I'll keep this more general. And some of what I will say you might already know, but I feel they bear repeating. First off, your worth as a person is not tied to your ability to make money, or work a job or anything like that. You are a person, and that makes you valuable. No person or thing can ever take that from you. Second, never feel bad about wanting to interact with your friends and loved ones. Even if you're in a bad mood, I'm sure they'd love to spend time with you. Social needs are just as important as any other need, so do not feel guilty of them, and don't hole yourself up if that's not what you need right now. A friend of mine (and I do also to an extent) does this all the time and after they always reflect that it only hurt them.

Third, I'm sorry about whatever issues you're dealing with, with family or otherwise, I know how difficult that can be. There are no easy solutions, but, like, you just gotta keep carrying on, you know? Even if there's no option out today, there might be one down the road. On a lighter note, I think your art style is charming! I think you could get some commission work if that's something you wanted to do, it's less on your skill and more on confidence and a bit of luck, I think. Even if today sucks, it doesn't define you tomorrow and not all days will be like this. None of what you're going through defines you or your worth as a person. You've got this, and your friends and loved ones have your back. Keep on being you, A concerned stranger

ah right i did vent really hard on here huh, thanks for sending this out-

i've been vague overall with my posts bc im just going thru it today so some of what you've said doesn't apply but i can't fault you for it, since i didn't rly explain anything

i've tried for a few years now to have art as a job that i could maybe help pay for rent with if i ever moved out, but i just didn't get enough comms to even get to that point. u-u i'd LOVE to just draw for money but it just didn't rly work out the way i expected. maybe i'll give it another shot, i dunno (I'd have to increase my prices again for 2023....)

the house i live in rn is the one belonging to my partner's family. so i live with my partner. my boyfriend is long distance (i'm polyam if that hasn't come across with some of my posts) and i desperately wish i could live with him as well. my partner's family is amiable, but not exactly super friendly or welcoming. especially not if i was openly trans. (they have a trans daughter but refuse to treat her with respect so she cut herself out of their life years ago) my life is kinda trapped in my partner's room, in a corner, so i really don't feel like i have a home. it sucks, but at least im surviving and have a roof over my head and food to eat and warmth in the cold and cool in the heat.

you're completely right on the social front. i think a lot of us forget this. my boyfriend and a friend of mine both reached out to me an hour or so ago bc they were worried abt how i wasnt around like, at all, and i basically got the same thing from them. "its okay to be around, we can try cheering you up"

and finally the big one. i understand capitalism is trash for making us all think we need to make money to deserve life. i hate that i need to make money to be able to live on my own. luckily im not sitting here thinking im worthless solely bc i cant get a job or make money. but i need money to get a place to live in on my own, apartments need rent, houses need mortgage payments, and then food and bills and all that crap. i need a job for that to get pulled off. and i've been trying to get a job! i've been applying to places since the beginning of december! but no place has accepted me. i've gotten like three interviews. nothing else. its just really infuriating. all of my friends, even my boyfriend, are getting new opportunities, new places to live, new goals new motivations new everything. and im just kinda stuck.

today was really hard. all of these feelings welled up over the past half a year and i think just finally crushed me into the dirt today.

so its just kind of a sad day. im doing what i can now to make it better even if only by a little bit. but oof.

thank you anon for popping in and checking up on me, it means a lot <3

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

#anonymous #when.... when.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN #aot x reader #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot imagines #no because he's the love of my whole life #jean fluff #jean smut #eren x reader

[connabeth]

i’m setting off (but not without my muse)

chapter 1: this is the road to ruin (and we’re starting at the end // percy and annabeth have finished their freshman year of college and make their way back home to new york for the summer with an old friend // percabeth

read on ao3 // please check out @opauc’s lovely art and thank you to @byima for being patient with me! // @pjo-hoo-bigbang

It had been an impromptu decision, as a lot of things in Percy’s life were. He had survived his first year at college in New Rome and he felt like he owed it all to Annabeth. Despite juggling her classes at two different schools, remotely renovating Camp Half Blood, and doing an internship in the city, she had made time to help him study. Of course, she would shrug it off and assure him it was he who had put in the work and made an effort to keep up his grades, but he knew he’d be nowhere without her in more ways than one. Even when she wasn’t tutoring him on weekday nights, snuggled up on his bed in his dorm room with her body drowning in one of his warm sweatshirts and pointedly ignoring his roommate’s snores nearby, she was his source of motivation. If he wanted a future with her, a career, a marriage, a family, a life, he needed to study and find whatever his passion was so he could keep up with her.

But he had helped her, too. She would often find herself working herself to the brink of exhaustion, forgetting to eat, sleep, and interact with other people. Percy was always there to gently nudge her into taking care of herself and maintaining a healthy eating and sleeping schedule. He was also the best way to destress after exams, not that she’d ever admit it.

The transition from high school to college had been strange to say the least, but not necessarily bad . In grade school, his main worry was trying not to get kicked out or die everyday, along with ─at the bare minimum─trying to not fail his classes. But in New Rome, the university was a lot more accommodating for students with learning conditions (as nearly all demigods had at least one), and safety wasn’t an issue he had to actively worry about. He felt a security he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a mild culture shock, but a pleasant one he thought he definitely deserved after being failed by the American education system time and time again. He was able to actually pay attention in class more and manage decent grades with some help. He was just as surprised as the next person when he found he didn’t hate learning as much as he thought he did, probably because he had some decent─and dare he say, enjoyable ─teachers now. He had also started to care enough to put more effort into his work, the days of plagiarizing papers off the internet long behind him. Well. Most of the time.

Unsurprisingly, he and Annabeth had a legend-like celebrity status, beyond that of the typical hero, given their major role in both wars. A lot of the new people he and Annabeth met either looked up to them, were nervous and intimidated, or sported not-so-subtle crushes on either (and sometimes both) of them. Percy kind of just wished people would treat him like every other normal guy. He was tired of his accomplishments as a hero commanding a kind of deference out of some demigods. Sure, he deserved respect on a basic level but he didn’t want to be worshipped . And the fact that he had briefly been praetor made the situation a little worse.

Although, he would never deny the perks of getting a free brownie or cookie once in a while from the bakery. It helped that one of the girls that worked at the bakery had a major crush on Annabeth. This led to her bringing him a lot of free baked goods which he wholeheartedly accepted. He could deal with someone having a harmless crush on his girlfriend if it meant free junk food for their movie nights. The little green monster in both of them tended to sneak out at times but it was nothing a few placating kisses, some teasing, or a hot quickie in a precarious location couldn’t fix.

Although, he would never deny the perks of getting a free brownie or cookie once in a while from the bakery. It helped that one of the girls that worked at the bakery had a major crush on Annabeth. This led to her bringing him a lot of free baked goods which he wholeheartedly accepted. He could deal with someone having a harmless crush on his girlfriend if it meant free junk food for their movie nights. The little green monster in both of them tended to sneak out at times but it was nothing a few placating kisses, some teasing, or a hot quickie in a precarious location couldn’t fix.

Although, he would never deny the perks of getting a free brownie or cookie once in a while from the bakery. It helped that one of the girls that worked at the bakery had a major crush on Annabeth. This led to her bringing him a lot of free baked goods which he wholeheartedly accepted. He could deal with someone having a harmless crush on his girlfriend if it meant free junk food for their movie nights. The little green monster in both of them tended to sneak out at times but it was nothing a few placating kisses, some teasing, or a hot quickie in a precarious location couldn’t fix.

Although, he would never deny the perks of getting a free brownie or cookie once in a while from the bakery. It helped that one of the girls that worked at the bakery had a major crush on Annabeth. This led to her bringing him a lot of free baked goods which he wholeheartedly accepted. He could deal with someone having a harmless crush on his girlfriend if it meant free junk food for their movie nights. The little green monster in both of them tended to sneak out at times but it was nothing a few placating kisses, some teasing, or a hot quickie in a precarious location couldn’t fix.

It was finally summer break which meant Annabeth was only bogged down by, like, half of her commitments. She had an internship at an architecture firm in New York starting in late June, as she and Percy would be spending their summer back home. And while the Olympus renovations were winding down, the gods were always requesting new things, those fickle beings. Of course, they expected Annabeth to cater to their every whim. She supposed the only upside was the generous salary she earned from designing the palace of the gods. Her mother wanted to provide her with compensation for all the time she invested in Olympus, but the gods didn’t have a great grasp of the value of mortal money so she ended up getting a very handsome paycheck.

Which meant that she could afford to splurge on something worthwhile. It had been a while since they’d gotten to hang with their friend Grover, just the three of them like it used to be all those years ago, so they planned (“planned” was a loose term) a road trip together. Percy had traveled a lot of places, some that he had always wanted to visit, and some he really wished he never had to go to, but he had never gotten to truly enjoy any of them. The chaos and anxiety of quests paired with some kind of deadline hangin over their heads didn’t allow for much relaxation or enjoyment as they traveled across the country on their adventures. A road trip was a nice way to appreciate being in the moment and getting a chance to breathe without thinking about the next god that was going to show up asking for a favor by presenting an unwanted quest like it was some golden opportunity they should’ve been grateful to have been offered. It wasn't like Annabeth to not plan every single moment of their trip from the moment they got in the car. That’s not to say impulsivity wasn’t threaded into her DNA, but she found it satisfying to make vacation plans. However, this summer, the girl was a) exhausted, b) didn’t want to defeat the whole purpose of the trip by ruining the spontaneity, and c) had entered zero-fucks-given mode the second her last final had been submitted.

They had a vague idea of the places they wanted to hit, and Annabeth had made maybe one hotel reservation just to ensure they’d have a room when they visited some popular tourist destination, but that was as far as their planning went. All she wanted was quality time with her two favorite boys, even if it meant getting lost in the desert somewhere in Arizona.

#percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #pjo #hoo #grover underwood #the golden trio #my edits #my fic #pjo hoo big bang 2021

[thehighwaytothestars]

BRIEF PERSONALITY ANALYSIS - YEONJUN TXT

Libra Moon:

Interested in fine arts, and debates about all kinds of subjects.

But, always keep the poise and never being aggressive, or trying to make their point of view to rule over the other person.

Harmony is very important here, and usually libra moons hate fights, but they love talks where they can learn different points of views and perspectives they never thought about.

They are well cultured people.

They like to dress elegantly, and this is an expression of them, could be therapeutic, dressing according to your mood.

They hate disharmony and arrogant people.

They love when they find someone who is open minded and can talk about everything without criticizing and judging the other person.

This is a placement where the person can try to please people a lot, and sometimes just agreeing with them to stop the fight/ argument.

Loves luxury, and the fines things. They can be very good at interior design. Probably, Yeonjun will be the one decorating his house.

They care about what people think of them, and sometimes too much 🙁

Just loves the idea of being in love and being in a relationship.

Virgo Sun and Mercury:

Virgo is ruled by Mercury, so in Yeonjun’s case his Mercury is in domicile, and this makes easier to this planet to act naturally, accordingly to his virtues.

Having a Virgo Sun can make the person very demanding and hard on themselves and the others.

They can be super anxious about things, because they are always trying to reach perfection, even tho they know is not something possible to do it.

But they will try the hardest they can to achieve their goals, they will always try to give 1000% of themselves.

They know that in order to reach your dreams you Gotta work hard for it, so they often over work.

They have almost this obsession over details, and this can make them lost the big picture of things.

They are practical and problem solvers, but will appreciate when someone try to help them, to show that they care about them, and their wellbeing, because they are always the ones doing this for everyone, so is nice to change this dynamic once in a while.

In Yeonjun’s case having a Mercury Virgo just makes this energy stronger. So, you can count on he pays a lot of attention in to details, and he is always analyzing everything he can.

Owns a very logical and practical mind.

Can be an amazing writer too.

Very smart and witty.

Not super talkative, he is more the one observing people’s behavior, and yes, can be very judgmental sometimes 🙁

But, ofc he is not just serving this to people, he is the main focus of his critical mind, so he can be his worst enemy in a way.

Always thinking he is not doing enough and trying to overcompensate, always trying to do more.

Can feel sometimes, that he doesn’t deserve to be on top, if he doesn’t work hard enough and go beyond, he will second guess his own potential.

Because his Mercury and Sun are conjunct in Virgo, this can make him very aware of what he eats and his health in general; Also, how he behaves, all his gestures and how he is portraying himself.

He can be really found of reading and activities that involve patterns, and logic.

Leo Venus: It’s like...go big or go home kind of love demonstration.

Loves to spoiled and be spoiled by their loved ones. They are generous and love to buy you gifts for no reason at all, it’s because they are so in love by you, they just can’t help.

He is so genuine when he loves someone. Leo Is all about the heart, and being truly honest with your feelings, emotions, with yourself, so when he is with someone, he is for real.

He wants to show how much he loves you, so he does whatever he can to make you see that. Actually, you and the whole world.

He can even be a little clingy, he just loves being around you and feeling your presence. This makes his heart race and just fuels him with happiness.

He is truly faithful, and can be a little jealous. Will take care of you 1000%. It’s like, you are his precious little thing, and nobody can hurt you, EVER. He will defend you with his all, it doesn’t matter.

Being a Virgo Sun, and the sun being the ruler of Leo, we have here a very attentive and devoted guy. He will want try to help you with whatever he can, definitely the type to go the next mile to do something for you. But don’t fool yourself, all this love and devotion he will wanted back. He will need that you guys are connect for real, like your hearts and energies are in the same sync.

Venus talks about the pleasures in life, and in Yeonjun’s case no wonder why he loves to dress up, and fashion, and have this amazing style. He is super bold, and honest about the things he tries. That’s him, like...he is not pretending to be anyone else, you know? He does not wear the clothes to simulate or fool people, he is truly expressing himself. And, of course, he is not afraid to do it. No wonder he loves the big and all over your face, accessories, right?

He is such a romantic and passionate guy, he could even be a little be cheesy, ngl.

But, overall, will love someone with all his heart, body and soul.

He is drawn to authentic people, who are empowered, and knows their value. People who are not scare of being who they are, who can speak up. Who are passionate about what they do, and who inspire people around them, gives them courage to be brave and do what they truly want to do. Yeah...this is definitely a strong and confident person, who could totally call his attention.

He can be really confident indeed. Sagittarius Mars:

So bold and up to the challenges in life. Loves to throw himself in new experiences, especially if he is with his friends around.

Is not afraid to take risks, because this is how you learn things and gain knowledge of how things work.

He can be really competitive, and gives his all to win. He is just that guy that loves to win, and as we see above, he is totally up to the challenge. This desire to win can totally ignite his energy.

His mars is conjunct with Pluto, so this make Yeonjun puts a lot of determination in things he does. He does not stop until he gets what he wants. Could even enjoy dangerous situations.

May love to explore about the subconscious mind too, and why does he do things in the way he does. Is looking for answers there, and is not afraid of it.

Curiosity is something that definitely moves him.

He can be really energetic and doing an exercise can always help him to burn that extra energy he may have.

He can be good at sports and loves to spend the day doing things, especially outside.

I feel he loves to shop, and can’t get enough from it. This could be his favorite sport, yeah.

Can be a person who loves being around nature too, this can help him relax and get in touch with his inner self, and just to put things in his head in order, since he can overthink a lot of things, and this could lead us to a lot of tension and stress.

He can take a while to lose his patient, but when he does...OMG he can be so brutally honest, and even scary. He knows what to say in order to hurt someone, he owns a very analytical and sharp mind, so he knows how to push your buttons, he knows what is sensitive for you.

And Pluto conjunct to his Mars, can make him even more assertive with his words, and even the tone he uses can be very dark, and just terrifying. People can feel the presence of his anger, and how mad he is, even if he looks calm and collected, you’ll know by his tone of voice...it’s crazy. You can feel how serious he is, and that he is not messing around. He had enough of it.

Can lose his head when people try to boss him around, and tell what to do, or just try to take away his freedom.

Can be hard to forgive, and even if he does won’t forget what happen.

#yeonjun #yeonjun txt #yeonjun astrology #astrology #kpop #txt astrology #txt kpop

[remakethestars]

Being Damian Wayne's Twin Sister Would Include:

Headcanons.

❝Exactly. I don't ask my dog to drive, and I don't ask the Justice League to solve my problems.❞

— Damian Wayne, Adventures of the Super Sons #9: Showdown on Hexworld

TRIGGER WARNING: Cursing, (Damian’s) death. Mentions of toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny, nightmares, blood, knives.

Headcanon masterlist.

When people ask you, “So, which one of you is the evil twin?” Damian always glowers, and you always motion to him.

You look disturbingly alike when only your eyes are showing; Damian’s got long lashes. Talia taught you a good tactic for tag-teaming in combat as kids was to pull up your hinged balaclavas and make the enemy think there was only one of you, that they’re seeing double.

Or for one of you to hang back while the other attacks as a distraction before the other knocks them out from behind.

Obviously, this won’t work when the two of you start filling out, but it works when you’re kids. It’s the reason why, even off the field, the two of you usually wear a matching outfits with hoods.

You utilize the same methods when she sends you to live with Bruce.

You don the Robin costume just like he does, much to the rest of the Batfam’s confusion (both because they weren’t expecting it and because they can’t tell you apart either), but sticking with the “red” theme, you go by Redstart.

There’s a rumor on the street that Robin V. is a meta that can teleport.

The two of you are freakishly good at mimicking the other’s voice and mannerisms, which makes it even harder for your family.

Jason tells you two about April Fools Day, and you make the most of it. Of course, Damian’s a pain in the a$$ and decides to go around pretending to be you and getting into trouble. You’re banned from the mall, and you still have no idea why. 

The two of you can communicate with just an impassive expression (Dick says it looks like a prime example of twin telepathy to anyone else), but anyone close to you knows sh¡t’s about to hit the fan when the two of you look at each other and smirk.

If it’s something you can’t communicate nonverbally, you use your cryptophasia. 

Cryptophasia is a language developed by twins when they’re learning to talk. Most of them grow out of it, you and Damian decided to keep developing it so it became more of a conlang. No one else has been taught to speak it, and they never will be. It’s for emergencies only.

Sun Tzu’s The Art of War was your Bible growing up, and the two of you call out verses when you fight together and need the other to understand a tactic (you both inherited Bruce’s eidetic memory, so you’ve got it memorized).

When you get too big to pull off the which-is-which game, you make your own costume and become the true Redstart. 

It’s basically Damian’s Robin uniform (the Super Sons’s version is the only one I’ll accept), but the boots and gloves are black, the biceps have a white stripe, the lining of the cape is white (the lining of the hood is black), the gold accents become white, it has a zipper down the front instead of clasps, and the mask becomes black (including the eyes). The waterline of the eyes is white. Like a painted redstart.

If Damian’s into animals, you’re into plants. The two of you find common ground on the fact that pollution sucks, so when you walk Titus, you take a trash bag and gloves with you to pick up litter as you go.

You did not want to go to Jon’s school. 

Not because you don’t like Jon (because you do), but because you know you could run intellectual circles around every one of those snot-nosed brats. 

School is stupid. Especially because the American education system is subpar; everything about it is.

You hardly pay attention in class. You do all of the homework a week ahead of time incase something comes up. Usually you’re doing next week’s homework in class. You’ve written entire papers on your phone in Google Docs in the middle of class to be printed out later.

If you’ve already done everything, Damian’s usually drawing and you’re daydreaming or you’re working on a case on your phone.

The teachers are always trying to catch you not paying attention, but you little sh¡ts can always answer their questions. 

Damian’s closest with Dick, but you’re closest with Tim. You admire his ability to plan ahead (see the entirety of the Red Robin comics), and you know that he’s better than both your father and your grandfather; you want to be as good as him when you grow up.

It takes a long time to wash the toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny our of your head, to learn that your grandfather’s ideas of “strength” were wrong, that it’s okay to lean on someone besides Damian, that you can be just as strong as your brother and still be feminine, that there are acceptable emotions besides anger.

Actually, your father teaches you that anger is more likely to get you killed. He won’t let you go into the field when he knows your angry.

It’s harder to drill out of you than your instinct to kill.

There’s a Lebanese restaurant called Tarbooshes (Teen Titans Special #1) the two of you go to when you’re feeling homesick. They make ox blood soup the same way your mother did, and it’s the only non-vegetarian thing Damian will eat for that very reason.

It’s nice to have a place to go where they know you by name and know what you want when you tell them “the usual.” It’s nice to have a place where you’re not a Wayne or an Al Ghul, where you’re just [Y/N] and Damian.

You disappear for an hour on your birthday to eat there. Bruce has asked you were you go, but you kept that between the two of you. 

Speaking of birthdays, you’re eleven minutes older than him. He was six pounds and ten ounces (Batman & Robin #0?), and you were a solid seven.

After Damian died, you go to Tarbooshes to feel close to him.

You were doing all right with the no-killing thing until the night Damian died.

Heretic never stood a chance.

He looked so much like Damian it gave you nightmares, though. Nightmares where you killed your twin brother and woke up sobbing.

Damian didn’t give you a speech in his last moments. He just looked over at you and said in your cryptophasia, “I’m sorry.” 

Not “I love you.” Not “Take care of them for me.” You knew that; you’d do that. He didn’t have to tell you, and he didn’t have to ask.

Just “I’m sorry.” Sorry that you were the one that was left behind.

It’s one thing to lose a family member, to lose a friend, or to lose a lover. It’s another to lose half of your soul.

The two of you had always feared you would die apart. It had always been a possibility; you weren’t stupid enough to think, “It’ll never happen to me.” Because it definitely could. 

And it had.

You wanted to run away from everything. Even just for a while. Go to one of your safe houses in London or France or whatever and just — you didn’t know — stare at the wall until you felt better? But you’d made that unspoken promise to Damian — “I’ll take care of them for you; don’t worry.” — to take care of Titus and Catfred and Jerry and Batcow and Goliath, to take care of Alfred and Bruce and Dick and Jason and Cassandra and Tim, to take care of Jon and Colin and Maps.

You avoided the cave. And if you had to go down there for some reason, you refused to look at the Robin suits.

Dick noticed. He asked if you wanted them taken down, even just for a while. You gave him a look like he was nuts and said, “No.”

Jon was a mess. More of a mess than you were, somehow. 

You’d shown up at the Kents’s. Jon was out doing Superboy things with Clark and Conner. Lois was the only one home.

You nearly scared her out of her skin when you materialized behind her and asked, “Is Jon home? It’s important.” 

He had to know first. He deserved to.

For all he put up with from you two, he deserved to be the first to know when one of you was f*cking dead.

Lois, of course, bless her heart, had the mom instincts to know that you were in no way, shape, or form okay even when you were trying so hard to hold yourself together. She asked you what’s wrong, and it’s what made you break. 

Your lip trembled. “He’s gone.”

“Who’s gone?”

“Damian,” your voice broke. “He’s dead.” 

Jon came home to find you in his living room in your Robin uniform, covered in Damian’s and Heretic’s blood, snot running down your lip, sobbing in his mothers arms and knew what happened without having to ask. He did anyway.

When you and Jon both finally passed out, your Uncle Clark flew you back to the Batcave. No one was in any condition — not even Alfred — so he carried you up to your room; took your boots, mask, cape, and gloves off; and tucked you in. Then he went to find Bruce because there was no doubt he was losing it too.

Bruce doesn’t tell you anything about trying to find a way to bring him back without the Lazarus pit because he doesn’t want to get your hopes up. 

You walk into your room one day to find Damian sitting there reading the dissertation (the requirement was three pages, not 120, but your teacher would just have to deal with your coping mechanisms) you had been working on for your World History class and left up on your laptop while on patrol. 

He said with the utmost indifference, “You’ve made some good points, Sister,” and, of course, you pulled out a knife and attacked him because this was — was — was some shapeshifting alien or hologram tech or a cruel joke — your twin was dead, this wasn’t funny, whoever did this was going to pay.

He met you blow-for-blow and flipped away from you before saying, “And here I was expecting a warm welcome,” in your cryptophasia. 

“Brother?” 

“Tt. Obviously.” 

Yeah, a college level thesis. You’re smart. You inherited Bruce’s eidetic memory and were raised by assassins.

You learned seven languages and wrote five doctoral theses by the time your teeth came in, wrote your first letter to a newspaper editor when you were two, could’ve had a geology doctorate when you were seven (Super Sons #1), and it only took you a week to learn the language on Takron-Galtos. You’re smart.

You’re also incredibly skilled. You learned to drive when you were five (Super Sons #1), your mother trained you to go for weeks without eating (Adventures of the Super Sons #6), you can micro-sleep for days and converse with half your brain asleep, can use a muscular contraction to move your liver out of the way of a blade (Nightwing #20), and can place yourself in a deep trance to heal damages caused by a hematoma (also #20).

(My dumba$$ didn’t note what Super Sons/Adventure of the Super Sons comic I was reading when I took notes, so I don’t have all of them noted in the two above bullet points. But that’s where they’re from. If I end up rereading them, I’ll edit this and add the comic numbers.)

The first time on patrol you thought Bruce was gonna die, you called him Baba. 

The next evening, when Dick came to visit the cave, he turned to you and Damian and asked, “So, which one of you called him Dad?” 

“How’d you know?” you asked. 

“He’s smiling the way he did the day I called him Tati.”

“He’s not smiling,” Damian pointed out.

“He is on the inside.”

Can we talk about how royally the Arkham Knights game screwed up Tim Drake? (Though, everything seems to screw up Tim one way or another, I guess.) Why does he look like a quidditch player in the gif above the cut?

Visit my headcanon masterlist.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ I’m a dumb white American, and I don’t know much about Arab or Romani culture other than what I’ve learned online. I hope I got it right?? If I didn’t, please drop a comment or P.M. me or something to let me know!

#Damian Wayne #Robin #Damian Wayne x Sister!Reader #Damian Wayne x Twin!Reader #Batsis #Clark Kent #Superman #Jon Kent #Jonathan Kent #Superboy #League of Shadows #League of Assassins #Talia Al Ghul #Lois Lane #Lois Kent #headcanons #headcannons #hcs #dc comics #tw: cursing #tw: death #tw: knives #tw: blood #tw: nightmares #tw: toxic masculinity #tw: internalized misogyny #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Robin x Sister!Reader #Robin x Twin!Reader

[solarwonux]

Sunflower || Seokmin 

seokmin x f!reader: soulmate au 

w.c: 23.7k (its a long one get some popcorn lol)

warnings: angst, really really slow burn, suggestive themes (no nsfw sorry y’all) 

note: I’M SO EXCITED TO FINALLY RELEASE THIS FIC, it has been released before but I rewrote it a little and finally finished it. PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND YES YOU DO NEED TO READ CHERRY FIRST IT WOULD MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE IF YOU DO. 

cherry || masterlist

“Get up.” Seungkwan said opening the curtains in your room letting in the obnoxious rays of sunlight. You groaned turning over in your bed pulling the sheets over your head. A failed attempt to block the sunlight out. “I mean it get up.” He jumped on your bed, trapping you underneath him then tried to pry off the sheets from your body. Your iron-like grip holding them in place. You wiggled your body trying to wrestle him off. He scoffed placing his hands on your sides and jabbing them, an annoyed laugh falling out of your lips. He snickered grabbing onto your sheets and pulling them off your body. 

“Get up!” He exclaimed letting you go, bringing your sheets along with him. He stood at the foot of your bed, hands on his hips, waiting. You whined, flaying your limbs up in the air, which only made him roll his eyes in annoyance. “It’s too early, let me sleep please.” You grumbled finally sitting up on your bed, crossing your legs and arms in front of you. You blinked rapidly trying to get used to the brightness of your once dark room. 

“It’s almost two in the afternoon, I’m not letting you sleep anymore…so get up.” He commanded his hands leaving his hips and pointed an accusatory finger at you. “You’ve been doing this every weekend for the last five months and honestly I’ve had it.” He shook his head in disbelief and threw himself on your bed in despair. You rolled your eyes shoving him with your foot before laying down on your side, eyeing the unpleasant billboard outside your—well Seungkwan’s guest bedroom window. “Even if I get up, what's the point, I have nothing to do.” You sighed moving so you were now on your back, eyeing the ceiling fan as it turned with ferocity above your bed and attempted to count the times it went around in circles. Useless to say the least but helped calm you down.

“I talked to Vernon yesterday; he’s worried about you?” Seungkwan sat up poking your side again. The name that fell out his lips sent jabs of pain up your body and you tried your hardest to blink back the tears that had started to form at the sound of his name. “I’m fine.” You whispered turning over to face your best friend. His eyebrows furrowed as he searched your face carefully for any warning signs. “It’s okay not to be fine you know, it’s okay to admit it too.” He sighed wrapping an arm around your shoulder hugging you tightly. 

“How is he?” You mumbled. The question had been lingering at the tip of your tongue since the day the two of you decided to finally part ways. Since the day you moved into Seungkwan’s guest bedroom and since the day Vernon told you about his back-packing trip around South East Asia. That night the two of you cried together on Seungkwan’s overly expensive couch, because your new realities, that didn’t involve one another as lovers, finally started to settle in.

When he walked out the front door, he had promised to come back under one condition. You knew it was eating him inside, but he held his head high and told you to try everything in your power to find the person that was meant to be your forever. He had found his, in fact his was the reason why the two of you were in this mess in the first place. Why the color you had gotten used to seeing for nearly five years had been stripped away from you.

“He’s good, he arrived in Thailand last night and yes he’s taking his vitamins and eating well.” Seungkwan stated he sat up bringing you along with him. “But he keeps asking about you and I’m tired of lying to him, so I’m taking you out today.” He smiled brightly, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear and placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “So, take a shower before I dump a bucket of water on you.” 

“Where are you taking me?” You turned down the radio, your voice was hoarse from screaming out the lyrics to Dancing Queen with Seungkwan. A curious smile playing on your lips as you looked out your open window, the wind hitting your face making goosebumps rise onto your skin. Despite still not feeling like you could jump back and be the person you were five years ago or five months ago, you felt at ease.

“It’s a surprise.” Seungkwan stated in a matter of fact tone, finishing it off with a scoff. You rolled your eyes sitting back in your seat. The beginning melody of Toxic sounding through his car speakers made Seungkwan groan in protest. “Last time I let you pick the music.” He pointed out, turning on the turn signals. 

“Shut up you love it.” You teased. “Now please tell me where we’re going, we’ve been driving for nearly three hours.” You whined, closing the window and bringing down the car visor. You opened the little mirror and cringed once you saw yourself. Your hair was sticking out in different places, your red lipstick was slightly smudged, and your mascara had started to run. If Vernon was next to you, he would’ve told you that you still looked like the most beautiful girl in the world. You grinned letting out a small sigh and shook your head. The feeling of nostalgia making its way underneath your skin whenever you thought of him. To your surprise you hadn’t bursted into tears yet and maybe that was an indication that you were finally starting to let yourself feel happiness once again.

“It’s been an hour and a half, you’re literally so dramatic.” Seungkwan said in disbelief as he slowed down the car. “Anyway, we’re here, but you have to put on the blindfold before we go anywhere.”  He smiled, putting his car in park and shutting it off. He reached over the back seat and brought out a blindfold, cheekily showing it to you. 

“Kwanie I know I’ve been a pain these last five months but I’m literally begging you to not kill me today.” You said as you finished up fixing your face as well as your unruly hair before closing the visor and turning to face him. He rolled his eyes shoving the blindfold into your hand. “I can’t stand you sometimes, just put the damn blindfold on.” He whined, tapping his fingers impatiently on his steering wheel. You saluted at him jokingly before putting it on. “Done, lead me to my death.” 

“Let’s go drama queen.” 

“You’re one to talk.” You mumbled opening his car door. Seungkwan grabbed your hands leading you out of the car, resting his hands on your shoulders. “I promise you’ll love it.” He said the smile prominent in his tone of voice as he started to walk you forward. You jumped putting one of your hands over his in panic, your stomach turning in anticipation. Your mind goes through numerous possibilities of what would be on the other side once you removed your blindfold. A part of you hoping it was Vernon, but you knew that wasn’t an option. He was out, doing something he had desperately wanted to do for years and no matter how much he cared for you. He wasn’t going to put his dreams to halt for you. The two of you had done it for far too long and now it was time to finally live for yourselves. It was something the two of you deserved. 

“Alright we’re here.” Seungkwan stated as the two of you stopped walking. Your hands quickly went up to the blindfold and took it off quickly. A gasp falling out of your lips as you stared in awe at the black and white field of sunflowers. The heliotropic flowers swayed slowly in the wind as they reached up high towards the sunlight. Your stomach turning wishing you had never taken your color for granted. 

“Kwanie, I-I love it.” You smiled turning to face the boy who was looking at you smugly. You hugged him tightly, burying your face into the crook of his neck finally letting the tears spill out. He nodded wrapping his arms around you tightly, slowly caressing your back as he let you cry. Something he had gotten used to since you had started living with him, and something he would never complain about. The pain you were going through, he could not understand no matter how hard he tried. He had never been in love before, his soulmate mark remained untouched, the words etched on his wrist haunting him for years, slowly making him lose hope. And that’s how he lived for a while until the night when you called him sobbing. The words coming out of your mouth he couldn’t make out, but he heard the pain laced in your voice. His heart broke as he knew what had happened. 

Vernon had confided in him for nearly a year. At first, he didn’t agree with the way he was handling things, telling him that you should’ve been his first priority. But the more he thought about it the more he understood why he couldn’t. Vernon’s love for you was indescribable, he would’ve moved mountains and parted the red sea for you if he could. You were his light the reason he kept pushing even though at the end he knew what the outcome would be. The love the two of you had was pure art and Seungkwan could only hope to find something so perfect one day. Which is why he let you cry on him; let you curse out the world as he held you in his arms because even though he hadn’t found the person the universe had set him up with. He knew what it felt like to long for that person. 

“We can cut some and take them home. Trust me the apartment needs a little bit of brightness.” He pulled away, his thumbs wiping the stray tears on your cheeks. You nodded turning around, watching the people you had overlooked run around happily. Some were by the little white kiosk that held bundles of sunflowers and strawberries and you assumed that’s where you would go to pay the fee. Others were taking pictures with the daisy like flowers, while others were cutting off the stems carefully to take home, fighting with the bees. The whole sight made you feel warm and at peace and though you had already cried. You felt like crying again only because the happiness that was bubbling up inside of you was overwhelming. 

“Let’s go then and since you brought me here you will pay for them right.” You pouted batting your eyelashes up at him. 

“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t” 

“The worst honestly.” You grabbed his hand leading him to the middle of the field. The skyrocketing flowers make you feel small as if you were an ant in the middle of a field of grass. “I wish I can see them in their truest form” You sighed taking one of the leaves in between your index finger and thumb. “But I can only remember what they would look like.” You nodded smiling sadly earning a flick on the forehead from Seungkwan. “Ow…what the hell Kwanie.”

“Stop getting all sad on me and smile please.” He said, bringing a pair of kitchen scissors from his back pocket. You cocked an eyebrow in curiosity, and you were about to ask him where the hell he had gotten them, until you noticed the miniscule flashes of color by his shoulder. You blinked rapidly, before rubbing your eyes forcefully not caring that you had smudged your mascara.

Seungkwan leaned up grabbing onto the flower stem, placing it in between the scissor blades and cutting it. A satisfied hum escaping his lungs, nodding in approval while he turned to you and brag. His smile fell once he noticed the look of distresses embedded onto your face. “What’s wrong, what happened?” He said dropping the flower along with the scissors and placing both hands on top of your shoulders. He shook you, your eyes turning wide while you looked around. The water pooling in your tear ducts and he tried to desperately grab your attention.  

The broken flashes of yellow, coming in and out at a faster than before. Faster than the morning you had met Vernon. Your heart was at your throat and you pushed Seungkwan’s hands off your shoulders, ignoring his worried statements and pushed past him. You kept walking, your hands shaking at your sides as the flashes of color became more intense. Seungkwan followed you, taking long strides to keep up with you. “What’s happening…did something happen?” He asked his voice sounding with concern and once again you ignored him again, trying to find the reason why you were suddenly seeing color again. A part of you wondered if this was how Vernon had felt that night. If he felt lightheaded. If his body grew weak while his heart broke slowly into thousands of pieces while the flashes of color came in and out. 

“Seokmin where are you going…what’s going on?” You heard a voice shout, your footsteps coming to a stop once your eyes found the ones of the person in front of you. The same look of distress you had on your face adorning his. You let out a sob seeing as the color poured in at a faster rate than before. The part of you that still loved Vernon breaking away slowly while you felt your heart start to beat out of time. Just like it had done that first time you met Vernon and you were introduced to a world of color. Seungkwan came up beside you, out of breath, his hand grabbing onto your arm, confusion written all over his features as he looked between you and the man standing a few feet away from the two of you. 

“Min, you’re scaring me.” His friend said, waving a hand in front of his face. He didn’t budge, instead his eyes only got wider, and he took it upon himself to take a wary step forward. “D-Do you see i-it too?” 

You nodded pushing the hand Seungkwan was using to hold you back off. “W-What’s your name?” You took a step forward, your body feeling as if it were on fire. Something you had never once experienced before.

“Seokmin, I-I thought I would never find you.” He confessed stopping until only a foot separated the two of you. His hands inside his jacket pockets itching to reach out to you. To embrace you, wipe away your tears, and tell you how beautiful you looked despite the mascara tracks staining your cheeks. 

He never imagined that this day would come. Sure, he had fantasized about it since the day he learned what soulmate’s where. He had practiced numerous conversations inside his head, to be prepared. But he never once believed that he would be able to find, certainly not in a field of sunflowers on the hottest day of the year. And certainly not with you standing in front of him crying as if your heart was breaking instead of mending.

“C-Can I give you a hug?” You spoke rubbing the back of your hand against your cold cheek, a sob catching itself at the back of your throat. He nodded quickly, taking his hands out of his pockets and shaking them at his side. The two of you stared at each other in silence, eyes running all over the place. Your bodies daring to finally cross the line. In the end, despite your heart feeling as if it were to fall out of your ass. You crossed it, wrapping your delicate arms around his torso, the sob you had been holding in finally breaking out of its confinements. 

Seokmin held you as if his life depended on it. His mind searching through the files of practice conversations he had over the years, trying to come up with something, anything to say to you right now. 

With caution he started to run his hands down your back, trying to offer you comfort. His gaze landing on the man that had been chasing after you. To Seokmin his features were unreadable, but the tears that had started to fall out of his eyes spoke volumes and it scared him. He could only hope he wasn’t your significant other because the last thing Seokmin wanted to do was make you choose. If your heart didn’t belong to him then he’d live with the consequences because despite not knowing your name yet, he knew you deserved more than what the world had to offer. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You pulled away; the residue of your mascara combined with your tears on his pale-yellow t-shirt. Your bottom lip trembles as the memories of your first meeting with Vernon came flooding back. “Everything is so fucked…I’m sorry you had to meet me like this.”

“Don’t be sorry, just because we met doesn’t mean we have to be together right away.” He nodded the soft pad of his thumbs lying against your soft cheeks. He studied your face closely, taking in everything as fast as he could. Afraid you would be taken away from him forever. He could tell something was bothering especially when you refused to look him in the eye. Only catching the subtle hint of sadness hiding behind your sparkling eyes. There was something you had to deal with, one that didn’t involve him, and he knew he had to put himself aside and you first. 

“I’ve waited my whole life for you…I can wait a little longer.” 

“Text him please.” Seungkwan pleaded falling on to your bed cuddled with your pillow. You stopped your typing and took off your glasses before looking down at him. His puppy dog eyes cause you to roll your eyes.

“I will once I’m done applying for this job.” You smiled sending him a playful wink. “No now, you always come up with an excuse to shut me up but this time it won’t work.” He sat up and hit you across your face lightly with your pillow, blocking your view. You whined feeling the weight of your laptop disappear from your lap and you knew this was a fight you weren’t going to win.

“Why does it matter, it’s not like I’ve been ignoring him, I respond to his good night and good morning texts every day.” You sat up and reached over to grab your laptop in which he was holding close and tightly to his chest. “Wow girlfriend of the year.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes, turning his body from your grabby hands.

“We’re not dating…please give me my laptop back.” You pulled at his arms as they got tighter around your precious device. You cursed falling back on your bed when you realized your attempts were going to be deemed as unsuccessful. 

You slammed your hands down on your bed in frustration. Seungkwan sighed and set down your laptop on your bedside table before laying down next to you. He poked your cheek, grabbing your attention, your pouty gaze making his heart sink. “I’m scared, what if the same thing that happened with Vernon happens again.” You confessed hitting your palm against your forehead, silently punishing yourself for your stupidity.

“We don’t get anywhere in life letting our fear get in the way of things.” He grabbed your hand and placed it on his chest. “And you can’t keep comparing this potential relationship with the one you and Vernon had because you’ve been given a chance to start over and fall without a care in the world.” He said playing with your fingers gently. “So, ask him out, I know he’s been dying to see you again.”

“How do you know?” You scoffed pulling your hand from his and resting it on top of your stomach. You looked up at the ceiling, counting the small indents that appeared over years of overuse. Your mind racing back to the events that occurred at the middle of the sunflower field as well as what happened after. Which was nothing, you had told Seokmin that you needed time before jumping face first into a brand-new relationship. He had agreed, told you he’d wait for you a whole lifetime again if that’s what you needed, and it broke your heart. You could tell he was a little disappointed. It was written all over his face, despite the smile that adorned it and you couldn’t imagine how he was feeling now, especially with your lack of communication.

“Soonyoung told me.” Seungkwan flicked your forehead bringing out of your daze making you glare at him in the process. You were thankful for him and everything he had done for you throughout your devastating break up with Vernon but sometimes you wished he wouldn’t worry so much. “Wait…when did you get his number?” You sat up leaning your body over and poking his side. He convulsed pushing your hands away before sitting up and crossing his legs under him. “That day at the field while Seokmin paid for your flowers.” He pointed behind you to the vase that held your withered sunflowers. “Also, when are you going to get rid of them, they’re looking a little dead.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved him as hard as you could. He was right, the flowers had been dead for almost two months, but every time you looked at them, they reminded you of Seokmin and that thought alone made you happy. “Never, I’m going to be buried with them. Now get out of my room I need to finish applying for this job.” He nodded reaching over for your laptop and handed it to you before getting off from your bed.

“Fine, but please text him, Soonyoung and I made a bet and so far, he’s winning, and I really really don’t want to give him a cent.” He laughed walking out of your room, holding onto the door handle tightly.

“Seungkwan my love life is not a game.” You shouted, throwing your pillow at him. His eyes grew wide in panic and he ran out of your room, closing your door quickly. Causing your pillow to hit the door and fall to the floor. You shook your head and laid back on your bed, your laptop and job application long forgotten as you eyed your charging phone. Your hands itched to reach out and grab it and finally send the text you had written countless times, but never sent because of fear.

“Fuck it.” You reached over and pulled it off the charging cable, unlocking it and opening your message app. Seokmin’s good morning text sat unread at the top of the list. Your heart palpitated as you typed the message you had memorized and counted to ten before hitting send. You panicked throwing your phone across your bed and getting off it, the sweat forming on your hands as they shook. You ran out of your room, down the hallway and into the kitchen, your eyes landing on a smug looking Seungkwan as he turned a wine glass in his hand.

“I sent it.”

“Finally, I’m about to be fifty dollars richer.” 

“How do I look?” You walked into the living for the umpteenth time that afternoon, this time you were adorning a sky-blue summer dress and white vans. “Every time you’ve asked me that I’ve told you the same thing, you look great now finish getting ready he’s going to be here in literally ten minutes.”

“I know but each outfit doesn’t feel right.” You threw your hands up and sat on the lounge chair putting your feet on top of the coffee table earning a look of disapproval from Seungkwan. “What if I wear the wrong outfit and the same thing as last time happens.” You pushed your hair back, lightly tugging at your roots. 

“Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I’m the dramatic one in this friendship.” He leaned over and pushed your feet off the coffee table making you pout. “A bad outfit isn’t going to trigger what happened with Vernon, so calm down and touch up your make or hair. Whatever you need to do because now you have a solid five minutes before he gets here.” Seungkwan stood up from his seat and pulled you up from the lounge chair.

“See, I knew my outfit was bad. Now I have to go change again.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes while he pushed you back into your room. “It was a hypothetical, you look beautiful, but what does look bad is your hair so fix it because time is ticking and neither of us are getting any younger.” He guided you to your mirror waving his hands around your disheveled hair, scolding at yourself for having the terrible habit of pulling on it whenever you were anxious or frustrated.

“Fine, but can you keep on the lookout.” You spoke your eyes growing wide, the feeling of panic rushing through your veins when the doorbell sounded. “Looks like I don’t need to.” Seungkwan grabbed your brush and handed it to you before exiting your room, closing the door behind him. “Don’t change or I’ll come in here and drag you out in whatever terrible outfit you have on.” He scolded the sound of his feet getting softer as he neared the front of the apartment.

You sighed putting down your brush and smoothed out your hair as much as you could before tying in back in a loose half up and half down style. You slowly counted to ten putting on your earrings and the rings you could find on top of your messy dresser. You gave yourself one last look, whispering words of encouragement and walked out. Seungkwan and Seokmin’s animated voices getting louder as you got closer to the living room.

“Tell Hoshi I’m expecting his payment by tonight.” Seungkwan jokes. Seokmin threw his head back in laughter, making you roll your eyes.  

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” You cleared your throat, putting your cross-body bag on and gripping the leather strap tightly to keep your hands from shaking. Seokmin’s laughter died down as he turned to face you, a blush appearing on his cheeks as he took in your appearance. “It’s okay I didn’t wait long.” He shook his head smiling, he extended his free hand to you before quickly exchanging it with the one that held the flowers. “These are for you. I wasn’t sure if I should get you the daisies, the roses, or the lilies so I got you all three.” His nervous eyes left yours and looked around looking for another point of focus.

“I love them, thank you so much.” You took them from him, holding them close, a color of array of emotions bursting inside of you making you feel as if you were being reborn.

“Alright, you two get out of here, go have fun.” Seungkwan broke the silence taking your flowers from you. He gave you a pointed look as he shuffled the two of you out. “Have her home by midnight.” He opened the front door signaling the two of you out. “Will do, it was nice seeing you again Seungkwan.” Seokmin walked out leaving you behind to follow him through the compressed doorway.

“I’m terribly sorry about him.” You sent Seungkwan a glare, his tongue poking out at you in a teasing manner before shutting the door.

“He should meet the rest of my friends. I think they’d get along very well.”

Seokmin and you walked in silence, your hands brushing against one another daring to feel each other’s warmth. The sweet melodies of the night life filling in the pockets of the comfortable silence that was lingering in the air around you. A few sorry’s and excuse me’s were exchanged by oblivious passer-byes making the two of you exchange inconspicuous stares. Smiles etching from side to side, cheeks flushing dark crimson. Your hearts matching time unbeknownst to the outside world.

You tried to come up with anything to say though you ended up falling short. Even though the silence that was between the two of you was loud, blaring in forms of sirens. It wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, and for that you were thankful.

“We’re here.” Seokmin finally broke the silence, his shoulders settling to a calm composure. He grabbed the door handle and opened it, stepping aside giving you room to walk in.

The second you did you were hit with a colorful aroma of different tea blends, sweets and spices. The quirky designs and phrases decorating the different walls jumped out at you. And the calm soothing vibe warmed up your insides, calming your nerves.

Seokmin came up behind you finally crossing the line the two of you had unknowingly laid out. “I hope you don’t mind this is my favorite boba shop, I know it’s not ideal, but I was really drawing a blank when you texted me earlier.” Seokmin placed a hand on your shoulder, making your breath hitch as he stood behind you patiently waiting to be attended.

“It’s okay, I love it, plus we have other chances to go on more extravagant dates.” You exaggerated, giving him a warm smile. Seokmin swore he had been lifted up into heaven and dropped once he saw the light on your face.

“I’d love nothing more.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze before wrapping it around your front, gently pulling you close. “T-This okay?” He asked, his voice wavering at the end giving you the indication that he too was unfamiliar with this new ocean the two of you had plunged yourselves into. “Yes, this is perfect.” You answered a little too excited.

“Great, what do you want then?” Seokmin pointed to the menu behind the front counter. You looked up skimming through the various flavors and options silently before turning your head to face him. “Why don’t you choose me?”

“Are you sure, you’re putting a lot of trust in me. This decision could either make or break us.” He joked moving with you as the person in front stepped up to order. You smiled, shaking your head, bringing up a hand and intertwining it with the one Seokmin had around you.

“I guess you better choose wisely then.”

In the end Seokmin ended up ordering four different flavors of boba tea. All this favorite.

The cashier had given the two of you strange looks, probably wondering why the hell two people needed four drinks and it only made you laugh even harder. Seokmin had given you a pointed look before breaking into a smile, that you swore could light up every room. It made your heart skip a beat, fill you up with happiness that you hadn’t felt ever since that day at the park with Vernon. Making you realize that that was the last time you had felt that type of happiness. 

“So why four?”

“I just ordered all my favorites, just in case my favorite favorite wasn’t your favorite.” Seokmin placed two of the drinks down onto the table, the two of you indiscreetly walked too. He waited for you to take your seat before taking his, at his respectful side of the tiny booth.

“So, which one is your favorite favorite?” You leaned your elbows forward toying with the plastic wrap of one of the straws.

“The mango green tea one.” He nodded pushing the drink in question towards you. You snickered, breaking the plastic wrap, lifting your hand to break the lid, stopping short when you noticed Seokmin’s hand covering the lid. “Before you try it, promise me this won’t be our first and last date.” He whispered his eyes all but pleading making your heart sink.

Sighing you brought your hand down, setting the straw aside. You put your hands over his, lifting it up to your lips, giving them a gentle kiss. You couldn’t blame him for asking. You had ignored him for almost three months, only answering his good morning and good night texts. He had every right to doubt you and your word. Without his knowledge you were putting back the pieces that were left behind after five years of living in a perfect illusion. Vernon still lived in the back of your mind, sometimes his memories still made your heart flutter and the what if’s still kept you up at night.

It was a conversation you needed to have with Seokmin, he didn’t deserve to be lied to or kept in the dark, especially because your heart wasn’t all that there yet. And because his was still innocent and pure, but for tonight you would bask in your dream world. Make promises you weren’t sure you could keep yet, because a part of you was starting to desperately cling onto him. 

“Seokmin I promise.”

There was a first time for everything.

And for the first time in your life you had laughed so hard to the point you had milk tea coming out of your nose.

“Sorry.” Seokmin’s demeanor fell, stopping his over dramatic retelling of how he and his friends came to own a pottery studio. He panicked, a troubled expression replacing his soft gaze, scrambling to get a napkin out of the holder. You tried to regain your breathing as he handed you a handful of napkins, but your imagination took over and you doubled over in laughter, your forehead coming down onto the table. The images of Seokmin and his friends dressed as cats, dancing and singing along to the musical soundtrack in order to convince the previous owner to hand over the studio with the first six months of rent paid. Replaying in your mind like a movie reel.

“D-Don’t be t-that’s the funniest thing someone’s ever told me, and I’ve known Seungkwan for half of my adult life.” You panted and placed your hand on your chest, your stomach throbbing in blissful pain. Seokmin smiled, his cheeks blushing red. He reached over cradling your cheek gently, wiping your nose. The situation finally became clear and you flushed in embarrassment.

“You’re cute.” He whispered, his face lighting up before he gave your cheek an awkward kiss from across the table. “I think I’ve embarrassed myself here today more than I have my entire life.” You let out a small laugh, your hand coming up to your forehead and hitting it lightly with the palm of your hand. 

“Like I said, you’re cute.” Seokmin removed your hand, locking his fingers with yours before sitting back in his seat. “Can I come sit over there?” You toyed with the straw of your drink, signaling to the empty space next to him with your head. Seokmin nodded, tugging on your hand lightly signaling that his impatience was close to take over. You removed your hand from his hold and stood up. He eyed you carefully as you smoothed out your dress, the light blue hue brought out the beauty of your smooth skin. It complimented the sparkle that lived behind your eyes making them look as if they held the entire universe behind them.

For the first time in his entire life, Seokmin finally understood the hype around the color blue. 

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder after you sat down. You put your head on his shoulder, blushing when you felt his body stiffen. “Will you take me to the studio one day?” Your index finger coming up to play with the water ring your drinks had left behind on the table.

“If you do me a favor.” He swallowed trying his best to get his body to relax, but it felt as if it were on fire and no amount of water would be able to put it out. “I’m not dressing up as a cat and dancing for you, if that’s what you want.” You looked up as he started to cough, his eyes wide as he choked on air due to your statement. His mind wandered to places it shouldn’t ever wander and he wanted to slap himself mentally as well as physically. You sat up and patted his back, a knowing smile forming on your face and made a mental note to add what you had said to the list of embarrassing things that had happened today.

“N-No nothing like that, t-that wasn’t what I meant.”

“I know I was just messing with you.” You poked his nose and it only made him blush even harder, and it made your ego swell knowing you had such an effect on him. “What is it?”

“Please stop calling me Seokmin, it makes me feel like I’m in trouble with my mom.” He chuckled awkwardly, bringing up a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it awkwardly. “What do I call you then?” You cocked your head to the side, bringing a hand up to smooth the collar of his button down shirt. It had been bothering you the entire night, but you didn’t have it in you to fix it. Afraid you were crossing a boundary either of you were ready to cross. But seeing as how the events were playing out you assumed it was alright.

“Call me DK.”

“Like the video game character?” Another fit of laughter threatening to break through the surface. Seokmin sighed, shaking his head in disbelief before pulling you close to his body. “Could be, but it’s short for Dokyeom.” He grabbed your hand from his chest and hooked his pinky with yours, swinging them in front of your bodies. You acknowledged, taking in your bottom lip in between your teeth. The butterflies that had been growing throughout the night in the pit of your stomach were having a field day. It was scary, you had only known him for almost three hours, and you were reading to risk it all once again.

“How about I call you baby instead?”

“Say it one more time?” Seokmin had you pressed against the outside wall of your apartment. Your hold on the doorknob faltered as you felt his lips hover over your own. “Baby,” You whispered, finally letting go of the doorknob and wrapping your arm around his neck.

“That’s my new favorite song.” He stated pressing your body closer to his, lifting you away from the wall. “Is that so…baby.” Seokmin groaned hiding his face in the crook of your neck. A tiny laugh falling out of your lips. You wrapped your hands around him, running your hands down his back gently.

“Please let me kiss you.”

Seokmin pleaded, lifting his head up to face you. A teasing smirk settling on your lips as you took the disparity behind his beautiful eyes. “Nope, you haven’t earned that privilege yet.” You pushed him away gently, stepping aside and finally entering the passcode to your front door. 

“Ask me to be your girlfriend first.” You turned the doorknob, his arms snaking around your waist, his breath tickling the shell of your ear, the adrenaline you had felt throughout the night intimidating a breakthrough. 

“Will you be my gir—.” You turned around quickly covering his mouth with your hand, the panic evident behind his glimmering eyes. “Not here, not now Seokmin.” You brought your hand down and he pulled away, taking his arms with him. “You’re right I’m sorry.” He hit his forehead gently with a closed fist, mumbling indiscreetly underneath his breath. For a second you thought you had ruined everything.

“I-I want you to be sure first, I don’t want to rush into anything.” You said as reassuringly as possible, the tiny fear demon in your mind finally coming out to play as it filled you with your doubts “I know, I’m sorry…sometimes I get too carried away, but I meant what I said the first time I met you.” He stuffed his hands inside his pockets, shrugging awkwardly. “I just hope that one day you can tell me what’s holding you back.”

“Seokmin it’s just that I—.”

“You don’t have to tell me today, but I promise I’ll listen to you when you’re ready.” He nodded closing the gap you had created and gave your forehead a gentle kiss. “Goodnight, sleep tight…baby.” He winked before stepping back and walking out of your line of sight leaving you breathless and overwhelmed, to the point where all you wanted to do was cry, because to say the least you were still scared and confused.  

You let out a sigh and turned around punching in the passcode, impatiently waiting for the door to click open. You angrily shuffled inside your apartment, closing the door behind you. You placed your forehead against it, toeing off your shoes and pushing them aside. You took a deep breath and counted to ten before facing Seungkwan who was without a doubt going to be waiting for you to hear all about how your date went. You plastered on your best fake smile, going over points Seungkwan was sure to ask in your head and turned around, expecting to see him on the couch dramatically twirling a glass of Rosé in his hand. 

And you wished that’s what you were met with, but like always the universe had its way of working and for a while it had been working against you. So of course, you were met with Seungkwan, a forgotten bottle of Rosé on the coffee table as he held onto Vernon while he sobbed into his arms.

“W-What’s wrong?”

The minute you laid eyes on Vernon you felt like your whole world collapsed into tiny shards of glass at your feet. You couldn’t breathe. It was as if your lungs were being crushed by two weights of pressure. You stood there in the middle of the living room, your words getting caught at the back of your throat, while Seungkwan ushered a sobbing Vernon out into the balcony of the small apartment. Leaving you behind to deal with your own curses. Seungkwan gave you one last sympathetic look almost as if he were telling you that he had everything under control. Yet, it didn’t help ease your newfound anxiousness as all you wanted to do was run outside and push Seungkwan away to comfort the boy you once loved. The same one a part of your soul still loved and held onto for dear life in fear that one day you would wake up and forget what it was like to ever be loved by him.

It was overwhelming. The feeling bubbled up inside of you as you retreated from the living room and made your way into your own room, looking for an escape. You were met with your four walls and memories that were buried deep into the archives of your mind started to play. Reminding you just how much you truly longed for Vernon. Reminding you just how much craved for his touch. 

It was cruel. The tricks your mind was playing on you and for a moment you let it consume you. Deciding that this was it for you and you had a good but unfortunate run but it was too much for your poor body to handle.

Like that the seconds passed and then came the minutes and eventually four hours had gone by with you having no recollection of what you had done. How you changed out of your blue dress or when you had replied to Seokmin’s text with a simple: I’m fine, miss you already. Another lie you could add onto your belt. Your self hatred growing as time slowed down everything around you making it seem as if you were underwater.

Maybe one day you’ll finally be strong enough to face him and tell him the truth. Open your chest up to him and let him in on your soul crushing secret because he deserved to know the truth. But that time wasn’t now, at least not while you sat against the door frame of your bedroom door. Looking out into a dark lonely hallway hoping that the next person to come through wasn’t the one you wanted to hold.

You wanted to scream out into the void. Scream at the universe for being so cruel. Scream at Seokmin for finding you when you were still hurting. And you wanted to scream at Vernon for showing up in such a state that made you want to drop everything and give him the entire world again. But whenever you opened your mouth nothing but silence came out. Leaving you behind to deal with feelings you didn’t fully understand.

“He wants to see you.” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back down to Earth. You looked up, running your hands over your tear stained face, meeting his pained expression. Another thing you could add to the list of things you hated about yourself.

Seungkwan didn’t deserve to be caught in between two broken people and act as their mediator. He deserved a life where he wasn’t constantly picking up the pieces and breaking his neck to offer comfort to two selfish people that clearly did not deserve it. Every night you found yourself hoping he’d finally realized this. You hoped he’d leave you behind and continue the life he had put on pause for you and Vernon. You hoped he could find better friends that finally saw him as someone more than just a shoulder to cry. Your wishes falling onto deaf ears because he was still here wiping away your tears.

“He wants to talk to you.” He crouched down in front of you and gently flicked your forehead. “I don’t want to see him.” You whispered resting your cheek against your knees as you avoided his eyes and looked out into the dark hallway again. “I’m scared.” A tiny sob fell out of his lips as he sighed, taking a seat in front of you.

“Not as scared as he is right now.” Seungkwan placed a hand on top of your head and smoothed out the frizziness that had occurred over your neglect. “I helped him as much as I could now I’m passing the torch down on to you because I think you can offer him a lot more than what I can.”

“I can’t...a broken person can’t help another broken person. We tried it before and it ended in a mess.”

“Then don’t try to help him and just listen to him.”

“What if I say or do something wrong and I just make everything worse?.” You lifted up your head and met Seungkwan’s frustrated gaze. He ran his soft hands over your cheeks wiping away the tears that had silently started to decorate your face again. He placed a soft comforting kiss against your forehead before standing up and offered you his hands.

“I doubt you can make him feel even worse than he already does.”

You held the beer cans Seungkwan had laughably shoved in your arms close to your chest. Your eyes stung from the salty tears that had been pouring out. It frustrated you because it seemed like the only thing you could do nowadays was cry. It made you feel weak and worthless.

There was a little voice in the back of your head that was scolding you. Telling you to suck it up because whatever was going on with Vernon had nothing to do with you or the beautiful tragic past the two of you shared. You had realized this hours ago, yet you still cried as if you were the one at fault or the one feeling his pain with him. 

That was something the universe didn’t take into account when she had rudely decided to split the two of you up. No matter what happened or where the two of you ended up in life you’d always be connected by a single string. Your life lines belonged to one another, the pain he felt you felt it to. 

Maybe that was the aftermath of this whole soulmate fiasco or maybe it was something you made up to give yourself comfort. But at least he didn’t have to endure it all alone.

You took a deep breath before sliding open the balcony door. The humidity of the summer air hitting you square in the face causing the feeling of suffocation to return. Yet somehow it still sent shivers up your spin as if it were winter. A side effect of being in the presence of your past lover.

His back was turned to you and you would’ve thought he hadn’t noticed you if it weren’t for the awkward shift of his legs and the tension in the air. He looked down at the nightlife that had started to crowd the streets for their daily rituals. A soft hot breeze blew dancing with a few strands of his hair, while the annoying billboard that covered the sky view from your bedroom window casted a faint spotlight on him.

“You wanted to see me?” You cleared your throat and closed the balcony door behind you. Vernon turned around, his swollen eyes and tear stained face matched yours. “Can I give you a hug?” He choked out, his lips trembling slightly. You nodded and placed the beer cans down onto the small patio table before closing the gap between the two of you. A broken sob fell out of his lips when your arms finally found their way around his frame. You held him tightly, breathing in his familiar scent, feeling the goosebumps rise along your arms as you rubbed soothing circles down his back. Your own eyes brimming with tears as you felt him shake in your arms and it broke you.

“What happened?” You broke the silence with the question that had been lingering in your mind for hours. Vernon raised his head and you reached over to gently wipe away his tears with the sleeves of your hoodie. He pulled away from you once you retreated your hands and walked over to the balcony railing, turning his back to you. You were left standing there unsure if you should follow him or keep your feet planted in the spot a few feet away from him.

“I think the world has a personal vendetta against me.” He shrugged, breaking the suffocating silence. You grabbed the beer cans and walked over and stood next to him. “That’s a pretty big claim don’t you think?” You handed him a can. His fingertips slightly brushing over yours, sending a jolt of sparkling shivers up your spine.

“The person I saw myself growing old with turned out to not be the person the universe had picked out for me and the person the universe did pick out for me died last night. I’d say it’s the right claim to make.” He laughed bitterly opening the beer can and taking a generous drink from it.

“L-Last night, Vernon you’re not shitting me are you? I just had lunch with them yesterday.” You shook your head bringing a hand up to your face and slapping your cheeks gently. Your head didn’t want to settle down and your heart was starting to speed up. It was impossible you had seen them not even twenty four hours ago. You had laughed over a funny video on their phone and bonded over a book two of you had been consequently reading.

“You two were friends?” Vernon exclaimed his voice containing hints of underlying shock and confusion. “I guess we were.” You shrugged and opened up your beer can. “I didn’t mean to befriend them at first. I reached out to them after you left cause I knew you were in contact with them and since Kwanie wasn’t telling me anything about you at first. I thought that if I got close to them, they would eventually bring you up and I’d finally know how you were.” You finished bringing the can up to your lips and took a few sips. The bitter taste hitting your tongue making you groan in annoyance.

“Did I come up?” He glanced over at you, a sneaky smirk forming on his lips at your confusion. “Only when they found a way to insert an apology over the events of that night. Even after all the times I had told them that it was fine. That I was fine.”

“Are you fine?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” You grinned, bumping your hips with his making him stumble. “Everyone already has. I wanted to spice things up for once.” He smiled up at the night sky. You watched making it obvious that you were. The stars sparkled behind his tired eyes reminding you of all the wishes you had made whenever you looked into them. Some of them came true others didn’t and it had torn you apart until one day it didn’t.

“I don’t matter right now Vernon.” You took a sip from your beer cringing at the taste once again. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t drinking for the pleasure, but for the strength you needed to be next to him right now.

Vernon blew out a raspberry and took the last sip of his beer before turning to face you. He grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips kissing each of your knuckles before placing it on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch basking in the feeling of having you next to him again. You took a deep breath as the hand holding his beer can circled around your waist and brought you close. He opened his eyes once he felt your chest against his, soft eyes running over your features carefully taking in everything that had stayed the same but had also subtly changed. Vernon freed your hand letting his fingers run up your arm until they reached your chin.

His touch ignited your insides. The world falling away over the horizon leaving two broken souls behind reveling in each other's warmth once again.

“You will always matter to me.”

You tried everything to keep the tension between the two of you at bay. To keep your focus on his words rather than the way his lips moved as he explained his soulmate’s unfortunate death.

It had been a hit and run and it filled you up with anger. Anger that you had never once had the privilege of experiencing until the words escaped Vernon’s mouth. “I just feel guilty. I never gave them a chance. I ran away when I realized things wouldn’t go back to normal and now I’m sure I’m being punished for it.” Vernon sighed and brought his fourth beer up to his lips, taking a decent sip from it before gazing over at you. His eyes shined as if they held a thousand tiny little universes and you found it difficult to look away.

The space between the two of you disappeared and you found yourselves shifting closer to one another as if pulled by two magnets. Your legs were resting on top of his thighs and his warm hand wrapped around your calves, rubbing soothing circles against your skin. The light of the billboard casted a warm glow onto the two of you making the setting a little more intimate than intended. But neither of you found yourselves complaining. 

“Vernon, don’t say that...they understood our situation and they wanted to wait until you were ready.” You reached over and pushed a fallen strand of his hair back, your heart beating out time and you felt as if the entire world had stopped. It was a known fact that you two were reaching into uncharted territory but neither of you wanted to hit the brakes just yet. Maybe it was the unfinished business between the two of you or the lingering feelings that would always remain. But you had decided to blame it on your vulnerability, the stupid billboard light and the beers shared between the two of you.

Whatever it was, you didn’t want it to stop.

“I think I really could’ve loved them.” Vernon let out a sigh and sat back, his hand squeezing your calf. “Maybe not in the way I loved you, but in a way that could’ve been special between the two of us. I talked to them almost every day and each time I found my heart jumping out of my chest. It was as if I was a kid in high school again scared to comfort their crush.” He sighed and looked up at the sky, silently counting the tiny little dots of light that could’ve been stars or planets from universes across.

You watched him carefully, finally taking in how much he had changed from the last time you saw him. He had grown out a little bit of stubble, slight bags stood underneath his eyes and his cheeks were red from the sun. A clear indication that he had not once thought of putting on sunscreen and you wondered if he did it to hear your voice nagging him in the back of his mind. Or if he finally felt free to do whatever he wanted. Either way he was different, not just physically but there was something about him you couldn’t pinpoint. And it frustrated you because before you would have been able to read him as if he were your favorite book. Now you had lost a few pages along the way and you didn’t know where to turn too anymore.

“So what happens now?” You whispered tilting your head to the side, the droplets of your forgotten beer running down your fingers. He sighed and looked over at you before reaching over and massaging the creases between your brows. He always scolded you about it, told you your face was a piece of art and didn’t need any extra tension. And although you had never believed him before and brushed it off as a joke, the way he was looking at you as if you were his entire world made you believe him.

“Your guess is as good as mine. I can still see the world in all its glory, the colors haven’t faded and I don’t think they will.” He brought his hand down your face and cradled your cheek gently. “I think they were it for me. I just wish we had more time.” He nodded before running his index finger across your cheek and down the bridge of your nose stopping just above your cupid’s bow. “But can I tell you a secret.” His eyes filled with hope as the words spilled out of his mouth.

“As long as you don’t make me keep it.”

“You will always be my favorite color.”

It was wrong.

The way Vernon’s lips danced against the skin of your neck as he pushed you up against your bedroom door, was wrong. He wasn’t yours anymore and you weren’t his but you felt the flame burn deep inside you. One that had gone out long before the universe took the man in front of you away. You were feeling it again and letting it consume your entire being. You didn’t want it to stop. 

“We have to be quiet.” You moaned out, fingers playing with the hem of your old graphic tee that you were sure had belonged to him. From what you could remember it had smelled like him once and somewhere along the creases he had left his mark.

“Seems a bit challenging for you.” He teased and pulled away, his lips leaving your skin making you feel empty. He smirked and circled his arms around your waist letting them travel down your back and landing on your ass before giving it a squeeze making you yelp in surprise. He chuckled and pulled you close, “Thought you said we needed to be quiet?” He quirked an eyebrow before leaning down letting his lips hover above yours.

“F-Fuck...just kiss me already.” You whimpered and wrapped your arms around his neck and brought his head closer, but he restrained from closing the gap and you let out a desperate whine. “I miss you angel, I miss you so much I don’t think I can hold myself back anymore.” He confessed his words making their way into your heart and locking themselves in. The little voice in the back of your head yelling at you to stop but you pushed it aside, desperate to feel his warmth again.

“Then don’t”

Vernon’s lips crashed onto yours barely letting the words leave your mouth. You could taste the bitter alcohol on his breath, a reminder that neither of you where in the right mind to be doing this. Yet the fire between the two of you grew. You found yourself ignored the flaring alarms going off in your head again as you kissed him back with the same hunger he was kissing you.

He tapped the side of your hip and mumbled an almost incoherent jump and you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his waist while he held you as close as he could. He pushed the two of you away from the door, his lips desperately dancing against yours. The crude sounds the two of you were making bounced off your bedroom walls and you were sure the two of you were being anything but quiet.

Vernon pulled away and carried you over to your desk removing everything he could before setting you down on top of you. You pushed yourself against him letting the back of your hand brush against the collar of his shirt. He smirked and gave it a tiny peck before finally bringing your shirt over your head and throwing it somewhere behind him.

“Still as beautiful as I remember.” He hummed your face heated up as he attacked your neck again. This time making sure he was leaving his mark on you one last time. You threw your head back moaning his name lost in the pleasure he was giving you when your peripherals caught sight of something that made your heart stop.

The faded yellow of the withered sunflower’s Seokmin had given you were now staring at you in disapproval. You felt your breathing regain speed and it wasn’t because of the way Vernon’s lips traveled down the navel of your breasts. No, it was because reality finally decided to hit you and you were once again planted back down onto Earth.

“Vernon stop.” You choked out. The flame inside of you dying and quickly replacing itself with the poison fear brought with it. Vernon stopped his movements and pulled away as fast as he could. You saw the concern wash over his soft features as his eyes ran all over your face. “What happened, did I do something wrong?” His words raced out of his lungs at the speed of light and he cradled your face in his hands. The tears soon started up again as Seokmin’s laugh rang in your ears. His broken face staring back at you when you had denied him earlier that evening made you feel as if you were the worst human being on planet Earth.

“W-We can’t do this Vernon.” You shook your head trying to avoid his gaze and placed a hand against his chest before pushing him away. Vernon sighed, letting his eyes land on your flower face and somehow he had finally understood what happened. “I know, I’m sorry...I should’ve stopped the minute I kissed you.” His shoulders fell letting the guilt wash over him like a tidal wave. His confession left you broken but he didn’t try to fight you or himself. Instead he created the space you need to breathe and looked around your room for your shirt.

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have egged you on.” You pushed yourself off your desk not caring about the things that had fallen onto the floor and grabbed your shirt from Vernon’s hand. He grinned watching you slip it on before sitting down at the edge of your bed, his forearms resting on his knees.

“We’ve got to be the most fucked up people in this cruel world.” He laughed letting himself fall back onto your bed. You shook your head before sitting down next to him. “Maybe we did something to piss someone off in our past lives and now we’re paying for it.” You shrugged, poking his side lightly making him fold over from the jab that ran through his body.

“Whatever it was...it must’ve been bad.” Vernon mumbled and looked up at your ceiling. The silence raining down over the two of you like a protective shield. Your heart was starting to return to its normal state but the guilt and confusion consumed you greatly. You knew you wouldn’t sleep tonight. You wanted to ask Vernon to stay and keep you company and you almost did as you watched him shut his eyes, peace washing over his body and you wondered what it was like to be held by this new version of him. But you quickly pushed those thoughts aside deciding that there were boundaries you needed to start setting up for both of your sakes.

After all, neither of you belonged to each other anymore.

“Where are you going to sleep?” You finally broke the silence after sitting in it for what felt like hours. He opened his eyes slowly blinking back the sleep as he sat up. “Probably the couch.” He stood up running a hand through his hair before turning to face you. His eyes bore into yours gently and you knew there was something he wanted to tell you but whatever it was it looked like you had to live without knowing because what came out of his mouth was not what you had expected. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He nodded before walking over to your door.

“Goodnight Hansol.” You whispered making him stop dead in his tracks, his birth name falling foreign onto his untrained ears. There was a time in his life where he loved the way your voice danced whenever you said it, but now he realized that he didn’t anymore and that was the hardest pill he would ever have to swallow. So he gave you the gift of a small nod before exiting your room, leaving you behind in your cold bedroom. Your soul felt as if it were in a pool of muddy water and all you wanted to do was call Seokmin, apologize and tell him everything.

“Can you please talk to me?” 

You trailed behind Seungkwan as he pushed the shopping cart into the frozen aisle of the grocery store. 

A week had passed since you accidentally found yourself pinned against your bedroom door with Vernon. A week had passed since the two of you decided to finally start setting boundaries for one another after Seungkwan had scolded the two of you like teenagers on the couch. Since then he had been giving the two of you the silent treatment. A punishment until you and Vernon came to terms with how wrong your actions had been, or so that’s what Seungkwan claimed. 

You knew you had been in the wrong, you knew you should’ve never let it get as far as it did. The disgusting guilt consumed you whenever you saw Vernon wander around the apartment like he owned the place. It tugged on your heartstrings whenever Seungkwan glared at you for standing an inch too close to your ex lover. It feasted upon your flesh whenever you stayed up until the morning dew fogged up your windows, talking to Seokmin. Nothing between the two of you was official yet, and that had been your doing because you couldn’t seem to find a way to confess to him without hurting him and yourself in the process. 

“Nope, not until you tell Dokyeom what happened.” Seungkwan huffed, stopping the shopping cart in front of the frozen pizza freezer. It was your weekly movie night. It had surprised you when Seungkwan brought it up in passing over breakfast that morning because you had assumed with how things were going, and now that Vernon had decided to stay, he would’ve cancelled it. 

“I will, I promise I will. I-I just don’t know how or when.” You walked in front of Seungkwan and opened the freezer door reaching in to grab the triple cheese stuffed crust frozen pizza. “I don’t want to hurt him.” You sighed as you placed down the large box inside of the cart that was filled with an assortment of junk food. 

“That’s the problem BooBoo the fool, you hurt him the second you let Vernon inside your heart again.” He held the freezer door open and reached inside grabbing the frozen hawaiian pizza, making you scrunch your face in disgust. In all the years you had known Seungkwan his taste in pizza was the only flaw he had, though he claimed it was an acquired taste that only the elite understood.

“What am I supposed to do then Kwanie, Vernon will always hold a piece of my heart whether I want him to or not. I spent half a decade loving him and shit like that can’t be forgotten in a few months.” You took liberty in closing the freezer door after Seungkwan had finished grabbing everything else you needed for the movie night. “I feel like you’re being really unfair right now.” 

“I’m not saying you should forget about Vernon, the guys living with us for crying out loud. And he is my best friend, but I’m trying to get you and him to realize that your story together is over and has been for a while. It sucks that the two of you got ripped away from one another, but you know how I always tell you that everything happens for a reason?” Seungkwan glanced over at you while you nodded along to what he was saying, “Then there’s a reason why the two of you were never meant to be.”

“And what reason could that be?”

“Let him go and you’ll find out.”

Whoever reserved Wednesday nights as movie nights, deserves the guillotine. 

Though as much as you hated that they were planted in the smack middle of the week. You will  never complain about it out loud, because you knew it had been your idea to hold them every Wednesday after a very heated argument with Seungkwan that you surprisingly had won. But if you dared to ever mutter out a complaint, he would make sure to never let you hear the end of it. 

“One movie, I have to wake up early for my job interview tomorrow.” You pleaded looking over at the clock that hung over the t.v, that also didn’t work. You had promised you would change the batteries to it months ago but forgotten. You suspected that the only reason Seungkwan hadn’t taken matters into his own hands was because he wanted it to serve as an annoying reminder for you. 

“Wait, you have a job interview?” Vernon exclaimed in surprise as he walked out of the kitchen in a hurry with the pizza box burning his hands. “Yeah, at the school a few blocks away from here.” You shrugged, throwing the pillows you were carrying in your hands onto the makeshift fort the three of you had tried to create. Keyword tired, it was falling apart the more you stared at it. 

“You’re going to be a teacher again?” Vernon’s face lit up as he set down the pizza box onto the coffee table that had been decorated to the T with all the junk food you and Seungkwan brought home. Seungkwan cleared his throat as he came into the living room again, his arms overflowing with all the blankets he could find. He threw them down landing on top of the pillows you had once held in your hands, before crossing his arms in front of him, closely eyeing the two of you.

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to Vernon who had taken it upon himself to start digging into the hawaiian pizza, “I hope so, a job position opened up last week so I decided to send in my resume and they called me on Monday to schedule an interview.” 

“That’s great--ow, bubs, I’m really happy for you.” Vernon said as he fanned his mouth after stupidly biting into the fresh out of the oven pizza. You nodded and turned to face Seungkwan who was glaring at Vernon while he ate his precious fit for royalty pizza. 

“Let’s hope I get it, nothing is set in stone yet.” 

“They’d be fools to not hire you. You’re amazing. I know they’d fall for you the second they hear how passionate you are about teaching.” Vernon assured as he blew onto his pizza, stopping to look at you for a split second, “I know I did.” He shrugged before tearing his eyes away from yours and taking another bite out of his pizza, making an O shape with his mouth to avoid getting burned again. 

It was strange. If Vernon would have told those exact words last week out on the balcony, you would’ve melted at his feet. You would’ve never stopped him from going any further and you would’ve probably tried to erase Seokmin from your mind. But hearing those words escape Vernon’s pink lips now that he stood in your living room arguing with Seungkwan about hawaiian pizza. His words did nothing for you. They didn’t make your heart race, they didn’t make your palms sweat and they didn’t make your ears flare up in heat. 

The only thing his words did was etch their way into your heart and fill you up with nostalgia, but not the kind that had you longing for his touch. The kind that made you happy that you had once been able to call him yours once. Maybe it was sign or step one of you finally being able to move on.

“Thanks Soli, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You were pacing in front of the main office for what seemed like hours, trying to calm your nerves down. You figured that moving around was better than sitting still and letting your thoughts race through your head, while you were at stand still. Though pacing wasn’t working either because your interview was scheduled to be at nine and it was nearing ten, and the dirty looks from the receptionist wasn’t helping your case either. 

“Jeonghan I don’t know what you want me to do? I already sat down with the two of them and told them violence is never the answer.” The door to the administration office finally opened making the receptionist sigh out a sign of relief. As you scrambled to collect the stuff you had placed down on the waiting chairs behind you, you made a mental note to apologize to her before you left today. 

“Seokmin don’t worry about it...I’ll contact the parents and see where we can go from there.” You felt the air catch itself in your throat as you slowly turned around to meet a very worried looking Seokmin. He hadn’t noticed you yet and you hoped he wouldn’t because the last thing you needed was to have him running through your mind during your interview. So, you stood there looking like a deer caught in the headlight while he continued chatting with the other man next to him. His voice filled with concern and it made your heart swell knowing how much he seemed to care about the issue at hand. 

“Oh you must be here for the new teacher position right?” An unfamiliar voice sounded making you jump out of your days and thank god it did because you were about to let your mind wander to what having kids with Seokmin would be like. And that was something you weren’t ready to imagine, especially not when he looked good enough to eat in his work clothes.

“U-Um yeah I’m--”

“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Seokmin finally noticed you. The excitement in his voice made the heat flare up along your face and you tightened your hold on your things pressing them against your chest,  as your eyes traveled from his sparkling ones to the very shocked ones of the receptionist and finally landing on the man next to him who was out of this world confused. “Sweetheart? You two know each other?” He questioned signaling to the space between you and Seokmin with his index finger. 

“Hannie this is the girl I’ve been telling you guys about.” 

“Oh, the one you never shut up about.” He nodded, sending you a knowing wink. Was there anything worse than your possible future boss finding out you were in cahoots with one of his teacher’s before actually getting the job? Probably not because you were currently wishing for the ground to swallow you up. But it made you feel a little better knowing Seokmin was wishing the same thing, judging from the redness of his cheeks. 

“I-I’m here to get interviewed for the new teacher position.” You nodded reassuring yourself more than anything. “I didn’t know you were a teacher, I thought you owned a pottery studio?” You looked at Seokmin who was cutely rubbing the back of his neck as he giggled underneath his breath. Your heart convulsing and now you weren’t so sure you wanted the job if it meant having your heart erupting out of your chest twenty four seven, seven days a week.

“I do, but Minghao runs it during the week with our other friend Mingyu. Soonyoung and I are in charge of it during the weekends.” He smiled and took a step forward ignoring the looks Jeonghan and the receptionist were giving one another, and somehow you knew this whole situation was going to be the hot topic of the week in the teacher’s lounge. “I’m really glad you’re here.” He finally closed the distance before pulling you in for a hug, “I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you.” He whispered before kissing your temple lightly and pulling away. 

“Alright, lovebird you have a science class to teach and I have an interview to conduct.” Jeonghan voiced shooing Seokmin with his hands making your sweet lover boy laugh. 

“Good luck baby.” Seokmin threw you a kiss before exiting the main office, the door closing in behind him. Leaving you alone and deserted with your smirking future boss and nosey receptionist. Your nerves had subsided to almost nothing but now your mind was consumed with Seokmin and you weren’t sure if you were going to survive your interview without letting your mind wander to the loving future that was creeping up on you. 

Jeonghan huffed and turned on his heels signaling for you to follow him, “I hope you know that just because my best friend and one of my teachers is head over heels for you, doesn’t mean you get special treatment. I still need to make sure you’re right for the job, and let me tell you sweetheart you have competition.”

“I didn’t expect you to go easy on me anyway.” 

Jeonghan closed the file he had in front of him before lacing his fingers together on top of them and leaned forward, eyeing you closely. “Can I give you some advice?” Jeonghan titled his head, his glasses that didn’t have lenses sliding off the bridge of his nose. The entire time he was interviewing you had tried your best to not laugh at his ridiculous antics. But seeing as this was your first and most likely last time you were going to see him, you figured that you would keep it to yourself for now.

“U-Um yeah...of course.” You rushed out a little too eagerly, your nerves once again getting the best of you. They had been in control for the twenty minutes Jeonghan had been interviewing you, but now as he stared you down, you felt your nerves coming crashing down like an ocean wave.

“I’m hesitant on hiring you, your track record is spotless and you’re probably the best candidate for the job--” He sighed and ran a bony hand through his dark hair while leaning back in his chair. You knew your rejection was coming but you didn’t expect it to be so soon. You were hoping to at least make it home cry about how awful your interview had gone before burying yourself in a pint of cookie dough ice cream while Seungkwan lectured you all whilst simultaneously trying to keep your hopes up.

“--But I don’t know how I feel about two of my teacher’s dating, especially if you’re going to have the evidence on full display.” He raised his pen and pointed to the side of your neck where you knew Vernon’s evidence was still on you, a reminder of the sin you had committed a week ago. Your eyes grew wide as you panicked and slapped your hand on the side of your neck. A smirk appeared on Jeonghan’s face as he smugly crossed his arms in front of him. The realization hit you a little too late because now it became clear that he was only testing you and sadly you had failed.

“I’m sorry, um...I--I.” You shook your head, your hand falling down slowly and landing on your lap. There was nothing you could say in order to fix your mistake, you could only hope that Jeonghan wasn’t one of those people who loved to gossip because the last thing you wanted was to ruin a relationship that hadn’t gotten the chance to blossom. “Can you please not tell Seokmin.” A soft whisper fell from your lips, aware that you were throwing yourself under the bus, but what else could you do?  You had already lost the job, you didn’t want to lose Seokmin as well, at least not yet.

“Ah, so it’s not from Dokyeom...bummer I was ready to tease him about it all week..” He shrugged and leaned his elbows on his desk along with his body. “So you’re two timing him? And here I was starting to believe that our precious Dokyeom had finally found love.” He tsked, shaking his head, “I must say I’m incredibly disappointed, I thought I was the cruel one.” 

“No, no, no, it’s not like that, it’s just--,” Your hands had started to shake on your lap, underneath Jeonghan’s amused stare. “--it’s complicated, more than you can imagine.” The confession stumbled out and you heard him let out a dry laugh. 

“I have no doubt in my mind that whatever the situation is, is not an easy one but I suggest figuring your shit out before roping in one of my friends. Dokyeom has been through enough and I have no idea how he still keeps that smile of his on his face knowing the shit he’s been through.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I know you don’t believe me but I have been trying.” 

“You’re right I don’t but I’m also not the one that needs to believe you.” He shrugged standing up from his chair and rounded the corner of his desk, stopping in front of you and leaning against it. “This isn’t a conversation you and I need to have, and all I ask of you is to have it with the person that’s meant to hear your words.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” you nodded and smoothed down the wrinkles of your dress. “Thank you for the interview.” 

“Cheer up princess.” He laughed and extended his hand in front of him for you to take. You looked up at him hesitantly before grabbing his hand and letting him pull you up. “You got the job.” He smiled before letting go of your hand and walking towards his office door leaving you behind as you tried to figure out if you heard him right. “Now come on it’s almost lunchtime, I’m starving and we have a ton of paperwork to sign.”

“Wait you’re not shitting me are you?” 

“If I was, I would’ve told you to leave the second you answered my first question, now let’s go.” He signaled you over while opening the door. You scrambled tripping over the leg of the chair you had just been sitting in making him roll his eyes. Now you understood why he had called himself the cruel one because Yoon Jeonghan was quite literally the reincarnation of the devil. 

“Excuse my language but you’re an asshole.” 

“I’ve been called worse sweetheart.” 

“Are we celebrating?” Seungkwan’s voice excitedly boomed through the speaker of your phone as you climbed up the steps of your apartment building. After you had gone through the mountain of paper’s that Jeonghan and the school district had you signing. You had declined his offer on having lunch with him and all the other teachers, giving him the poor excuse of already having lunch plans with your best friend. You could tell he wanted to say something but instead he bid you farewell before telling you to come over on Friday after school for a tour of the school, as well as to show you where your classroom was going to be. “Please tell me we’re celebrating, I already sent Hansol to buy the cake, the streamers, balloons, champagne and the pizza.” 

“I get my classroom on Friday and I start next Wednesday.” You voiced while punching in the code to enter your building, the buzzer sounded indicating that you could enter the lobby. You heard screaming from the other side of the phone followed by shushing noises. “Focus on your job Kwanie.” 

“But this is more exciting,” He whined, making you shake your head in disbelief. If Seungkwan wasn’t the best entertainment lawyer at his firm you were sure he would’ve been fired ages ago. “How’d the interview go, I’m guessing good because now you’re employed.”

“It went awful, trust me I was expecting to still be unemployed.” You pressed the button to the elevator, watching as the numbers counted down slowly. The anticipation of getting into your bed again was killing you as the numbers got closer to the ground floor. “Then how do you have a job now?” Seungkwan questioned before letting out a gasp at the same time the elevator dinged announcing it’s rival. “You didn’t...you know, do inappropriate things to get the job did you?” 

“I’m offended that you’ve known me for years and yet still think so lowly of me.” You entered the elevator and pressed the number to your floor, leaning against the elevator railings and watched as the doors closed in front of you. “Of course I didn’t.”

“I don’t know after what happened last week, I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” 

“Jeonghan lectured me already about this after my interview. I don’t need you hanging it over my head again.” 

“Wait bubs, who’s Jeonghan.”

“Oh, my boss.” The elevator stopped and slowly opened its doors. You pushed yourself off the wall and walked out, bringing your purse in front of you to fish out the keys to your apartment. “I think you two would get along, you're both equally as cruel.” 

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult, but I don’t have time to be offended because now I’m just confused. How does he know?” 

“Surprise! Seokmin is my co-worker and I ran into him before my interview--”

“He’s your coworker and your future baby daddy. This is wild bubs I would not like to have a love story like yours… no offense.” 

“Whatever Kwanie, the point is the demon that is my ex boyfriend left a hickey on me last week and it still hasn’t gone away. So my boss saw, lectured me about it and somehow I ended up with the job.” You sighed, dropping your key back into your purse and pushed your already opened front door with the toe of your shoe. Vernon always had a habit of never closing the door completely and it had terrified you a few times, especially when word got around that there was a serial robber on the loose in the area the two of you used to live in. 

“Maybe you heard wrong, are you sure you got the job?” Seungkwan questioned and you could almost picture the raise of his eye brow along with his scold. “This doesn’t sound like you got the job to me, maybe you should call them just to make sure.” 

“I got it, I already signed all the paperwork.” You shook your head toeing off your shoes, noticing that Vernon’s vans were missing, which meant he still wasn’t home and you had maybe a few minutes of peace to yourself.

“This all sounds a little too suspicious now, but congratulations I’m proud of you...I guess.” 

“Thanks you’re the best, I’ll call you later I think I’m going to shower so I can contemplate all my life choices.” You said holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you placed your stuff down on top of the kitchen counter. “Also pizza two days in a row are you okay?”

“I’m fine, can’t say the same thing about you though.” He scoffed. “I’m going now I hope your shower makes you realize how stupid you have been lately.” He spoke before hanging up without letting you get a word in. Sighing you brought the phone down from your ear setting it down next to you. Your thoughts were jumbled and jumping around from one thing to another. You wished you weren’t so scared of confessing something to someone, especially if that someone was starting to become the reason why you kept waking up and getting out of bed every passing day. But you also knew you were hurting him more letting the days pass and keeping him in the dark. Needless to say your life had become a mess in the span of a few months and some days you found yourself wondering how you could return it. 

Jeonghan told me…

Your phone buzzed making you jump. You grabbed it quickly watching as Seokmin’s contact name stared at you brightly, along with his message making your heart race. You cursed at yourself for trusting that the snake would keep your secret sealed behind his thin lips. And maybe he had hired you out of spite but whatever it was you were already typing your overdue apology in hopes you could at least salvage the tiny piece of Seokmin’s heart that he had selfishly given to you. 

Congratulations baby, dinner on Friday to celebrate?

Your fingers stopped as you let out an embarrassing sigh of relief, silently apologizing to Jeonghan. Quickly you erased the few sentences you had managed to write out before typing out a reply. You weren’t sure what spirit had possessed you but, who's ever it was, gave you the confidence you needed to hit send, because you knew what you were about to do was going to possibly ruin whatever relationship you had with Seokmin or save it. But you were tired of walking on eggshells not only around him but also around Vernon. He needed to know and you needed to finally let go. 

I’ll cook, I want you to meet some people.

Vernon walked into the apartment with everything Seungkwan had sent him out to get before leaving for work that morning. The bags he had been carrying for blocks were cutting the circulation in his arms, his fingers burning sweetly from the plastic. How they hadn’t fallen dead on the sidewalk a couple of blocks back was a mystery to him, and in truth the pain didn’t bother him until now, while he toe-d off his shoes as fast as possible. He felt his arms start to give up so he dropped them, like he usually did and let out an enormous sigh of relief. The circulation coming back into his arms at a rapid rate. 

He stretched his hands out mumbling incoherently. Coming to a stop when he saw your distressed form leaning against the fake marble of the kitchen counter. Phone clutched tightly in your palm, breaking the circulation, much like the plastic bags had done to him. Before, he could stop myself, he ran over to you. Stumbling over his shoes. The groceries and the tingling feeling on his fingers, from the blood returning to them, long forgotten. All he could think about was you and what was going through your mind. 

Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face into your neck as he felt your body grow stiff against his. The pang hitting him like a wave of unwanted air giving his heart a run for its money. “Are you okay?” He whispered bringing you close, hoping his comfort would somehow bring you at ease. He was never really good at comfort. He had learned that early on in your relationship, but he always tried as best as he could. Affection had been his major weak point, but now that he had lost you it had become his strongest suit. 

“No Vernon, I’m not.” You swallowed the lump of anger that had been lodged into the back of your throat before gripping his arms with your hands and prying them off. Vernon was taken back, the void returning to his chest and you tried your best to shoulder past him. “You almost costed me my job today.” His arms fell at their sides, your words catching him off guard.

No matter how many arguments the two of you had had during your past relationship, he had never heard you use this before. The venom became permanent, interweaving itself with the strings of your vocal chords and for the first time he had realized that he had finally lost you. 

“Me?” He questioned, standing dumbfounded. A shaking finger coming to view pointing to his chest. “What do you mean I almost ruined your chances at you getting a job. I’ve only been home and at the grocery store?” 

Vernon ran a wary hand through his dark looks, the confusion written all over his face when you glanced at him and pushed past him a little too forcefully. He tried to recall anything he could’ve done for you to look at him in such an unpleasant way, but his mind came to a halt stopping in front of a white wall. All he could remember was trying his best to stay away from you and failing. 

Every night he sat in front of your bedroom door while you talked on the phone for hours. He missed the sound of your laugh. He knew it was never going to be directed towards him anymore, but he would never get tired of it. At least it was a distraction, as unpleasant as it may have been at times. His life was ruined and his search for cheap apartments big enough for himself was starting to become a bust. 

He wasn’t stupid. As much as you and Seungkwan had tried to mask your distaste for his return. He knew he wasn’t welcomed and he was made more aware of it now that he could feel your anger caging him in. 

“This Vernon!” You yelled as he came out of his daze. His eyes widened when he saw you unbutton the first few buttons of your blouse, the nude of your bra peeking out making him swallow thickly. “This is why I was almost not hired today.” You pointed at the faded hickeys he had left behind. A year ago he would’ve smirked while making a slick comment before attacking you. The giggle would fall out of your lips as he led you to the couch while he deepened the lovebites he had previously made. 

Now he stayed put, watching the angry tears fall from your eyes and instead of feeling sorry. He was now starting to shed his calm composure letting it get replaced by a year’s worth of anger. He let it consume him, because he had had enough. 

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that you and Seungkwan were faulting him for something that hadn’t been entirely his fault. 

“Did you get undressed in order to get the job? Were you really that desperate. Did he not like the fact that you were whoring yourself around when he saw another man’s mark on you?” He spat out, barely processing what he had said. His fist balling up at his sides while yours did the same thing. “I knew you were capable of things but this is a new low that I should’ve seen coming.” 

Vernon had never once said anything hurtful to you, he had given  silent treatments, left the house in fits of rage; but never anything hurtful. You were caught by surprise, your heart beating out of your chest angrily and tears flowed at a rapid rate. This was a new side of him and you supposed he was also seeing a new side of you. It made you wonder if you had truly known one another as well as you once prided yourself in. 

You forcefully threw down your stuff onto the coffee and took fast, long strides over to him. “Fuck you Vernon, I wish I had never met you.” You forced out jabbing your index finger into his chest as hard as you could, hoping you’d be able to hurt him even further like he had done to you. 

He stayed, not budging, looking down at you with an overwhelming amount of disgust. “You’ve ruined my life.” The whisper escaped your lungs before you could stop it, but the damage had already been done. The two of you had been stripped off of everything, left with nothing. Two once perfect colorful arrays of canvases now painted white. What more did you have to lose?

“And you’ve ruined mine.” He emphasized, making sure each word, each syllable was laced with the same amount of poison he was being consumed with. He wanted them to take a piece of your soul. The same way yours did with his.

It was the final blow he needed to deliver to finally be able to walk out of your life for good. To finally forget the way your presence had his heart doing somersaults. To finally realize he was and had never been yours to begin with. 

Vernon shook his head in disbelief blinking back the angry tears. He grabbed your wrist and slowly peeled your fingers away from his shirt he hadn’t noticed you were clinging onto. His body was shaking just like yours. Emotions he was now experiencing for the first time consuming him slowly. He pushed you away gently, a stark contrast from the hurtful words he had said earlier and quickly made his way to the front door. Hastily putting on his shoes, mumbling underneath his breath. He ignored the groceries again, and tripped over every miscellaneous item that was decorating the floor as he opened the front door. 

Déjà vu hit you like a tsunami, shaking arms wrapped around your torso, sobs falling out of your mouth as you watched him leave just like you had many times before. This time he didn’t love you enough to want to come back. 

When the world had once still revolved around you and Vernon, your fights would never last as long as this one had. It had lasted two days and six hours, but who’s counting? 

You were avoiding one another like the plague not wanting to admit fault. 

“Are you spaced out again?” Seokmin’s voice sounded through the speaker of your phone. You don’t know when the nightly facetime calls became routine, but they were the only thing you look forward to now. Especially after the nasty argument with Vernon two days and six hours ago. 

“Sorry Min.” You shake your head and turn to the side bringing your blanket up to your chin. “What were you saying again?” 

“I’m sorry we had to move dinner to tomorrow night, I forgot I had to babysit my nephew.” He pouted at the camera before turning his attention back to washing the dishes he had used for dinner. 

Since the two of you hadn’t been able to physically have dinner together to celebrate, you figured that having dinner with him through facetime was better than nothing. To keep him company of course and not because he filled the void you had been feeling for days on end. 

The entire time you were holed up in your room and witnessed how gentle he was when it came to his nephew. It made the butterflies in your stomach dance to the beat of their own drums. Once again you found yourself pushing the thought of Seokmin and children away. It was too soon. 

“Don’t apologize, I enjoyed watching you struggle with Minjae. Personally, baby, I’m a fan of when he calls you Min Min.” Seokmin laughed. His smile reached both ends of his face as he turned the faucet off. He dried his hands on a kitchen towel before grabbing his phone. “When I went to put him to bed he said you were pretty...and I mean he’s not wrong you’re gorgeous sweetheart.” He winked making the apples of your cheeks heat up with the light pink of baby flower petals.You watched as he shut off the lights and walked out of his kitchen, trudging silently through the hallway before reaching his room. 

“Since we’re alone now,” he started shutting the door to his room, “You want to tell me what’s been bothering you for the last few days?” He finished. The small complaint falling out of your lips as you hid underneath your blanket. It was amazing how in such a short amount of time Seokmin had been able to read you like a book from start to finish. 

It had taken Vernon a full year to be able to decipher the hidden meaning behind your words.

Vernon...you hated how much he was consuming your thoughts. Even when Seokmin was around. It felt like a curse with no cure. “Just got into a small argument with an old friend.” 

“Have you tried talking to them?” Seokmin walked around before placing his phone down and unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. “You won’t be able to fix anything if the two of you haven’t talked.” 

“I can’t Seokmin, I said some hurtful things to him and honestly I shouldn’t have said them. I was angry over a situation that wasn’t entirely his fault.” You sighed, removing the blanket from your head and flopping down on your back. “If he didn’t hate me before he does now.” 

“I don’t know what happened with your friend, but I don’t think he hates you. Just try and talk to him and clear the air.” He nodded before laying down on his bed, grabbing the pillow and hugging it. “It doesn’t hurt to at least try.” 

You smiled and nodded. He looked breathtaking underneath the dim light of his room, “If you’re going to be right all the time, I think I might want a refund...again”

“Don’t say that baby...I’ll let you be right on odd days.” 

Saturday night came faster than you had anticipated and somehow you had managed to burn spaghetti. 

Your day had been awful and you were hoping that when nightfall came everything would’ve gotten better. Your wish had fallen on to deaf ears because you had burned spaghetti, Vernon was acting like a grade A asshole, and Seungkwan was ignoring you. 

When Seokmin had arrived. On time. He had found you scrambling in the kitchen trying to remake your famous (easy) pasta dish. Seungkwan and Vernon were arguing over the correct way to set a table...it was chaos.

 Neither of them were correct but you didn’t care enough to correct them. They weren’t talking to you either way. 

When you had managed to finally finish dinner. With the help of Seokmin. He had insisted after he saw how stressed out you looked, the four of you sat in complete silence. Seokmin at your side, holding your hand underneath the table, Vernon eyeing him down like he was his prey and Seungkwan mindlessly scrolled through his phone. The clinking of utensils and your heavy breathing was the only thing that was heard. 

You wanted to die. 

“Um...so I know Seungkwan, but I don’t know you. I’m Seokmin.” He nodded in Vernon’s direction before taking a bite of his pasta. You watched as Seungkwan locked his phone and put it down. His eyes traveled between the two male figures before they settled on yours and you watched as he slightly shook his head.

“I know who you are, you’re the one that she stays up talking to.” He signaled in your direction before setting down his fork and leaning into his chair, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m Hansol but you can call me Vernon.” 

“Cool...so Vernon, how do you know each other?” Seokmin let go of your hand. The warmth and ease you had felt disappearing as you saw the two of them eye each other. As far as you could tell Vernon wanted to eat Seokmin alive and Seokmin was simply driven by his curiosity. “Did you just move in?” 

Vernon laughed bitterly before pushing his half eaten plate away from him. “You haven’t told him?” He questioned. The amused evil glint adorning his soft eyes. A look you had never once seen him give anyone and now that it was directed towards you. You were terrified. 

“Hansol don’t!” Seungkwan warned. You felt Seokmin’s body stiffen next to you as he looked over at you, an eyebrow raised. “So we’re just going to sit here and pretend we’re one big happy family when we’re all miserable because of her.” Vernon spat out digging his burning gaze into yours. You jumped and looked over at Seokmin who had retreated into himself. His eyes were burning holes into the pasta in front of him. 

“Min I-I can ex-” 

“What does he mean, what is he talking about?” Seokmin interrupted and pushed his plate away from him. Your appetite was gone and you could only assume everyone else was feeling the same way. 

“Tell him. Why don’t you tell him how you were moaning my name a few days ago just like you had done for the past five years.” 

You panicked, your body shaking in intervals of five and you tried to look for anything to say but your lies had finally caught up to you. The only thing you could do was drown and keep drowning, just like you had been doing before Seokmin came into your life and pulled you out of the water. Now you were pushed into it again and this time you were positive no one was going to risk themselves to save you.“Seokmin w-wait please.” You threw your napkin on the table and stood up, the corners landing into the pasta sauce as you turned to face Seokmin. You extended your arm to grab his hand, only for him to pull it back, ”You were just toying with me.” The legs of the chair scraping against the hardwood floor made you jump. Your body going into survival mode. “I saw the marks on you but I just assumed I had accidentally gotten carried away.” 

“You fucked him too, wo-” 

“Vernon, shut up for once please.” You yelled. Your world came crashing down again just like it had on that winter night; in front of the infamous coffeeshop. Both times had been Vernon’s fault. 

“I-I can’t be here.” Seokmin whispered, running a bony hand through his perfectly styled hair, causing it to messily stick out in random places. He sighed before pushing his char in forcefully as he gathered the few things he had brought with. He stepped on the soles of his shoes, not caring about how uncomfortable he felt. The only thing that was running through his mind was how he needed to get out and far away from you as possible. 

“Why can’t you guys let me handle things at my own pace. I was gonna tell him this is why I invited him but I didn’t want him to find out like this.” You shouted, making Seungkwan and Vernon to look at you as if you were a deer and they were the headlights. You shook your head and stood up running past them and the kitchen towards the door that Seokmin had left wide open. Your vision had gone blurry and you opted out at putting on your shoes. It would be a waste of time and you needed to get to him before he left. You were tired of not fighting for what you wanted and you wanted Seokmin enough that it hurt. 

“M-Min please wait! Let me explain.” Seokmin stopped as he was halfway down the first flight of stairs. 

“I understood. I told you I would wait for you because I knew something had happened to you. Yet I never pushed you to tell me. I started to fall for you, only to find out that you didn’t care that you never cared. T-That there was someone else.”

“I-It’s not like that.” You ran down the flights of stairs, ignoring the small pebbles digging into the skin of your feet. “H-Hansol was my soulmate, bu-”

“Was?”

“Yes Seokmin he was my soulmate, please just give me a chance to explain everything.” You grabbed his hand and brought it up to your heart that was going a mile a minute. “We aren’t together and haven’t been together for a year...i-it’s just complicated.” You pleaded. 

“But you slept with him right after our date I’m guessing?” 

“I-I...a...Seokmin please just let me explain. I didn’t sleep with him. When you left he was here and we talked and then one thing led to another but I stopped him because of you. Because I had the most amazing ti-”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better because it doesn’t.” He rolled his eyes and pulled his hand back, stuffing both of them into the pockets of his coat. Goosebumps rose against your skin. You blamed the cool wind of the beginning autumn months but you were very well aware that it was because of the coldness behind Seokmin’s comforting eyes. “Do you still love him?” 

“M-Min I-I...um. I-” 

“God, I really don’t want to look at you right now, I w-wished I h-had never met you.” He whispered. 

Your knees gave up at the realization of his confession and you fell down onto the concrete step of the stairs. You were numbly looking at his worn out shoes as he stood there wordlessly, broken sounds leaving his perfect lips. A breeze blew and you shivered, “I-I’m sorry.” You whispered before he turned around and started down the rest of the flights of stairs leaving you behind. 

When Vernon left, you were heartbroken. 

When Seokmin left, you wanted to die. 

It’s unclear how you made it back into your apartment on the couch under a plethora of blankets, shivering, teeth clattering against one another. You weren’t sure how long you had been out in the cold waiting, hoping for Seokmin to come back and take you into his arms. To hold your shivering body close to his warm one, while whispering the three words you longed to hear most. 

I forgive you.  

That hadn’t been the case though. You sat out there waiting on the concrete steps as the bitter cold overtook your body, until you couldn’t feel your bones anymore. In the midst of your unwavering head, you had lost track of time. And now you are sitting on your couch, listening to soft shuffles of rushed feets and hushed arguments. Tears frozen onto the apples of your cheeks, staring at the blank wall that sat behind the television set. 

“Hey,” Seungkwan’s voice sounded distant as he tried grabbing your attention, shaking you gently. 

The inside of your head was a mess, the files of all your memories going up in flames. You wanted out of your head, to look at Seungkwan’s face morphed with concern. You wanted to cry into his arms just like you had done many times before but you were done. You had let other people deal with your problems for you instead of facing them head on. So, you ignored him and his soft voice to stare at the blank wall. At least the wall wouldn’t be used by you. 

“I ran you a bath, come on.” He placed his palm on your back rubbing it up and down in a soothing manner. You cringed, shrugging his touch away and wrapped the blankets around yourself tighter, retrieving into yourself. “You’re going to freeze to dea-”

“I deserve it.” You mumbled. A tear trickled down your cheek and you looked down at your shivering hands. He was right, the color from your skin had been drained due to the bone chilling cold from the start of the winter months. But you liked wallowing in the numbness, it served as a reminder of how much you truly fucked up. 

“You don’t, now come on before you force me to carry you, you know how weak my back has been lately and you would be doing me a great disservice if I have to carry you all the way to the bathroom.” He said pointedly and tugged on your hands as he stood up taking you along with him. The blankets fell from your shoulders, taking residency on the couch. Seungkwan walked the two of you away from the couch, one of his hands on your back the other holding your arm tightly and tentatively. Almost as if he was afraid that you’ll escape and habituate yourself on the couch again. Your point of focus from the wall was no more, now you were staring around the silent apartment. Your eyes landed on the dinner table, where everything had been left untouched, like nothing had happened. And you wondered if ten minutes had gone by instead of an hour, just like you had presumed. 

The sound of rushing water brought you back to your senses as you and Seungkwan entered the bathroom. The lights were dimmed and he had set up the stress relieving candles the two of you had bought on a whim one Sunday afternoon. It was moments like these when you realized you didn’t deserve to have a friend like Seungkwan. A friend would drop everything and be at your side in seconds at the mumble of the first syllable of his name. Once again you were reminded how much better he deserved. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You whispered watching him through the fogged out mirror. His long fingers toying with the tiny zipper of your dress, unzipping it slowly, careful not to place his cold palms against your already freezing skin. In a different scenario you would’ve made a sexual innuendo about him seeing you naked, even though he had many times. The two of you lived together and the amount of times either of you had accidentally sleepily walked in on each other either changing or showering was almost laughable. At some point it had become so natural that neither of you strayed away from uninterested pairs of eyes. 

“For what?” He raised a brow at you through the mirror. Your dress had now fallen onto the floor leaving you in your matching bra and underwear set. Your arms wrapped tightly around your stomach as you turned around to look at him. 

“E-Everything, I’m the w-worst person ever and here you are t-treating me like a delicate flower. I-I don’t deserve you or Vernon or S-Seokmin.” You sniffed blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. It was a miracle that you hadn’t ran out of tears considering how much you cried daily. At least three times a week. 

Seungkwan let out a laugh and hugged you tightly, his hands brushing the hair away from your face, “You aren’t the worst person ever, right now you might not be your own favorite person or the favorite person of a certain individual.” He pulled back and flicked your forehead gently making you pout, the tears still free falling down your cheeks, his thumbs brushing them away. “I can name a few others that are way worse than you, now get in the bath before I seriously drown you.” Seungkwan treated placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “Sometimes I wish I could take away yours and Vernon’s pain.” 

“Then you’d be weighted down even more by pain that doesn’t belong to you.”

“If it gets the two of you smiling again, I’d take the risk any day.”  

Seungkwan always keeps true to his word.

While he was aggressively washing your hair, he almost did try to drown you and you had never been more scared for your life. 

“This is the last time I let you take care of me.” You pouted bringing your knees up to your naked chest, sending him an almost threatening glare. The tears had stopped along with your shivering, but now you could finally feel the emptiness inside of you. 

 “That’s gonna be hard, I like taking care of you. It’s like my hobby.” He flashed you a smile before turning his attention back to his almost empty wine glass. You sighed, placing your cheek against your knees watching as he poured himself another generous amount of the overly expensive wine you had bought solely for that night. 

“That’s the problem, you shouldn’t like to take care of me, you should’ve kicked me out after my third month here.” You grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a sip from it, cringing at the taste as it traveled down your throat burning slightly. For it to be so expensive you were expecting it to be crafted using grapes sent down from the heavens, but the wine from your corner store was a lot better. Maybe this is where you had gone from in the first place. You had tried to be something you weren’t for Seokmin. Tried to put up a front until you were ready to show him the real you. A foolproof plan that ended up backfiring in the end. You should’ve known. 

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Seungkwan took the bottle from your hand and placed it on the floor. He turned to look at you tugging his knees underneath him and leaned an elbow against the edge of the bathtub. 

“Yeah, it was New Year’s and you were spending it with Hansol’s family because you and your family weren’t on best terms.” You looked away from his glossy eyes and down at the water surrounding you. You dipped a pruned finger into the water creating a small ripple in the once warm, now lukewarm water. 

“Do you remember what you said to me that night before the clock struck twelve.” 

You swished your finger around in the water, watching the ripples grow bigger and bigger, your face breaking into a small smile. The first one you had let decorate your face since everything happened. “I said that whenever I felt down I would always think of you because every time I saw you around campus you always had a smile plastered on your face and your head held high.” You said placing your palm against the water surface and then pushing against it watching as the water swallowed your head. 

“Do you know how much your words meant to me?” He put down his glass on the edge of the bathtub, “I was going through the worst period of time in my life, my relationship with my family was strained, I was failing my classes and the person I was in love with was getting married but your words helped me get through that time in my life. And that’s why I choose to be there for you always...because you were there for me.” 

“Seungkwan I-.” He held his hand up, stopping you from speaking a distant smile plastered on his face as he grabbed the towel next to him and dipped his hand into the bathtub unclogging the drain, creating a tiny whirlpool. 

“I know you’re going to tell me that you were drunk and that your words didn’t deserve to have such an impact on me, and that you still don’t deserve my help, but I don’t want to hear it.” He tapped your shoulder signaling for you to stand, in which you obeyed. You watched silently as he wrapped your towel around you tightly, tiny water droplets chasing down your bare arms and legs. “No matter what happens to you, you will always be able to count on me no matter how annoying I might find you sometimes. I will always be there for you, is that clear?” He finished sternly before wrapping his arms around you, hugging you not carrying that you were getting his only designer shirt wet. 

“Crystal.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You beamed up at Seungkwan as he tugged you into bed after helping you dry your hair for an hour. If it were up to you, you would’ve gone to sleep right after you changed into your pajamas, but Seungkwan insisted with a nagging finger on drying your hair because “You should never go to sleep with your hair wet unless you want to wake up sick.” Or so he claimed. 

“Am I going to have to write a dissertation in order to answer it?” He sat down on the edge of his bed, tugging a leg underneath him, resting his elbow against his thigh, his chin the palm of his hand. 

“Nope but you might get mad at me for asking it.” You grinned, positioning your body to the side in a fetal position. Seungkwan rolled his eyes, mumbling how all his hard work in tugging you in had gone to waste and giving you the go head with a small nod of his head. 

“Where’s Vernon?” 

Seungkwan rolled his eyes before leaning over to turn your light off. “I don’t know. After he brought you inside he ran out saying he had somewhere to be.” He turned the switch leaving the two of you in darkness and silence. “Why do you ask?” 

“I want to beat him up for being a jerk.”

“I’ll film it.” 

The brightness of the morning sun made you stir in your sleep, making you wish you had listened to Seungkwan when he had suggested that you buy black out curtains, instead of the sheer ones you bought. With a heavy sigh you felt around your bed looking for your phone knowing very well you hadn’t plugged it in to charge. You wanted the battery to drain out that way you wouldn’t anxiously be waiting for a phone call or text that was never going to come. 

Frustrated due to the realization you continued your search, digging your palm into your sheets letting them melt between your fingers, wishing the other side of your bed wasn’t cold and empty. But the one person you wanted to be next to you didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. 

“Why are you pulling on my hair?” 

Your hand came back to you faster than a lightning bolt and you sat up, eyes wide as saucers as you looked down at the last person you were expecting. “Why are you here?” You brought the sheets up to your shirts, covering your arms that were adorned with the thin strap of the tank top you had used to sleep. 

Vernon buried his face in your sheets, giving himself a moment to recover from being woken up in such an unpleasant way. He had arrived home two hours ago, took his shoes off in a hurry and rushed to your room. He was met with your sleeping form. Limbs splayed out in all directions, your sheets sliding off your body taking up residency on your bedroom floor.

He smiled feeling the nostalgia take over his body like a poisonous drink. He longed to wake up next to you, with the sheets missing and your arm draped his face, while silent snores fell out of your mouth as you stayed sleeping without a care in the world. He looked forward to those mornings. Especially when he was losing you because it was the only time that felt like nothing was happening. The only time he wouldn’t have to avoid looking at you for fear of breaking down whenever he saw the hurt in your eyes. And as you had slept after the shit show that had happened earlier that night, albeit all his fault. He found himself longing for those few seconds of silence as he watched you sleep. 

So, he moved through your room with caution, dodging the specs of light coming in through your window. He picked up your from the floor and carefully placed them on top of you again before sitting down on the floor. His elbow on your bed, chin resting on the palm of your hand and he watched you sleep. The tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, this would be the last time he would be seeing you. At least for a while. He wanted to take everything in, engrave the image of your sleeping face in his mind so he wouldn’t forget about it for a while. 

Unaware he had fallen asleep, and now here he was. His heart thumping out of his chest feeling your eyes dig themselves into the side of his head. He could only be honest, his intentions weren’t malicious to begin with, and lying to you always tore him apart. “I came to say goodbye.” He whispered, raising his head. He brought his hands up to his eyes and diligently rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His vision grew spotty from how hard he had rubbed them. 

“Oh...where are you going?” You sat up, resting your back against the headboard. It surprised you how soft your voice sounded as it left your mouth and you could tell it had surprised him too. You like him were expecting the coldness, but instead both of your ears were met with warmth. 

“I’m moving back into my parents house, until I find my own place. I was selfish in coming here in the first place. I thought that now because I was alone again we could be together again.” He nodded, focusing on your closet door avoiding your face as the words rushed out of his mouth. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore...at least for a while.” He tore his gaze away from the door and turned to his you. “I’m sorry for everything.” 

A veil of silence swallowed your waking bodies, as the rising sun finished its journey and stayed put. The golden hues of the rays illuminated Vernon’s side profile, bringing out the tiny freckles underneath his eyes. They were bloodshot, you could tell he hadn’t slept despite him just waking up, making you feel a little guilty. If you hadn’t prolonged this situation as much as you did then maybe things would’ve been different last night and this morning. Maybe you’d be waking up to Seokmin’s soft touches instead of Vernon’s broken and guilt ridden stare. 

“I wanted you here Vernon.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around your legs, resting your chin on top of your knees. “We’re equally at fault, though you had been acting like an asshole and I’m still a little upset with you. It’s not all your fault.” You nodded, skimming your hand down your covered legs and placed it on top of his. 

Vernon sighed removing his hand from underneath yours, your touch ignited something inside of him. Something he needed to keep at bay in order to let you go once and for all. “I talked to him last night.” He leaned back on his arms, his fingers digging into the fuzziness of your white carpet. He looked at you through his bangs, smiling at the confusion written all over your sleepy face. “Dokyeom, he’s funny.” 

The sound of his name sounded foreign coming out of Vernon’s mouth. You almost convinced yourself you had still been dreaming if it wasn’t for the clattering pans in the kitchen, obviously Seungkwan’s doing. “You’re lying to me again.” 

“I only lied to you once and I regret it every waking moment I see you, but this time I’m not.” He said crossing his jean clad legs underneath him, “I followed him after I brought you back inside, he punched me.” He laughed and pointed to the side of his jaw that had started to form a light bruise, making your brows furrow in concern. “It’s not as bad as it looks, my jaw is still intact, plus I deserved it.” 

“You did. If he hadn’t done I would’ve.”

“Yeah, and it would’ve hurt more coming from you.” He rolled his eyes brushing off the subject with a swipe of his hand against the air, “I apologized to him and he taught me how to make a vase...did you know he’s part owner of a pottery studio?” 

You laughed at the splendor in Vernon’s voice. The awkward air that had been crushing both pairs of lungs subsided, “I did he promised he’d take me one day but I guess it won’t happen now.” You shrugged, a side smile forming against your lips. “I’m a little jealous you got to live out my fantasy.” 

“Yeah his hands are big and muscular and soft, I felt safe in his arms as he taught me how to form the shape.” Vernon joked. You rolled your eyes and grabbed your pillow before hitting him with it, making him groan. “That hurt.” 

“Good, I was hoping it did.” 

“You’re just jealous that he and I share a birthday.” 

“No you don’t.” You pouted and laid down again crossing your arms in front of you like a child. The guilt consumed you once again but this time because you had been so focused with your problems that you hadn’t taken the chance to actually get to know Seokmin. You hadn’t actually tried to get to know him better and you couldn’t blame him for what he had told you last night. If you were in his shoes, you would also regret ever meeting you. 

“What else did he say?” You voiced, untangling your arms and turning your body to face Vernon’s sitting form. He smiled before standing up and brushing the invisible lint balls from his jeans. He extended his hand for your to take, earning a curious stare from you. 

“He wants to see you but first you have to eat breakfast.” 

After a very uneventful breakfast that consisted of Seungkwan’s nagging (out of love) and leftovers. The three of you helped Vernon carry his stuff out to his car. It was a bittersweet feeling, to see the same scenario play out the same way it did almost over a year ago. This time neither of you were hurting and longing for one another. 

“Get in.” Vernon shouted as he closed the trunk of his car, dusting his hands in front of him. He pointed to the passenger seat door, a wide smile on his face as he rounded the corner and opened the door. “I have to take you somewhere.” 

“W-What, but I-I haven’t showered and I’m still in my pajamas.” You looked between Vernon who was holding open the door and Seungkwan who had started looking around, whistling and you realized that whatever Vernon was planning, Seungkwan had been in on it too. 

“You look fine, now get in before I get punched again.”

“Kwanie help me please.” You pleaded grabbing onto the sleeves of his coat. Not knowing what was happening or what was going to happen only added to the stress of last night. 

“I think I left the stove on, I’m going to go save our apartment from burning down.” He winked peeling your fingers from the sleeves of his coat and shoved you towards the car. “Have fun, don’t stay out too late, you still have to clean your room.” He shouted as he turned around and started jogging towards the entrance of the building. 

“I have no choice do I?” You sighed looking at Vernon’s scheming face. He shook his head and signaled you to hurry up with the sudden movement of his hand. “Fine, if I end up dead though I’m coming back to haunt you and Seokmin’s asses.” You mumbled in annoyance, the skin of your legs gaining bumps as a cold breeze blew. 

Vernon waited, holding the door to his car open for you as you quickly got into the passenger seat of his car. While you got in quickly desperately seeking some kind of warmth. “Are you ready?” He closed the door gently once he was sure you were fully inside and buckled up, leaning his elbows against the open window. 

“To be kidnapped, nope. But I have no choice.” 

Vernon stopped his car in front of an unnamed warehouse, unlocked the doors and basically shooed you out of it, “The side door is unlocked.” He said, pointing to an inconspicuous grey door before speeding off and leaving you alone, your heart against your throat. 

You stood there in the middle of the parking lot, the bitter cold wrapping around you like a frozen blanket. And for once in your life you wished you had new friends, preferably ones that wouldn’t leave you in the middle of nowhere, in your pajamas and without a phone. You realized you had left it midway through your silent journey in Vernon’s old car. You had reached over for the volume knob turning it all the way down. The song that belonged to one of the mixtapes he had once made disappeared from his failing speakers.  He had laughed when you told him, “You won’t need it anyway.” He reassured, pressing his foot on the gas as the light turned to an obnoxious yellow. 

Now you were left stranded, cold and fearing for your life, refusing to move from your spot, eyeing the grey door in suspicion and fear. “Come in before you die.” You jumped as the grey door slammed open, revealing a boy with reddish hair and glasses perched on top of his nose, wearing grey paint splattered overalls. You contemplated ignoring him at first but then another cold breeze blew, followed by a few snowflakes and you knew you had no choice, but to follow the boys commands. 

“Who are you?” You questioned as you jogged towards him and then past him, your body engulfed with the warmth of the warehouse, and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Minghao, I’m one of the owners of this place.” He said after closing the door behind him making you jump slightly at the sound of metal hitting metal. “You know we’re in the middle of winter, not summer.” He said pointedly, eyeing you down. And you felt stupid although your attire hadn’t been your doing. If it had been entirely up to you, you wouldn’t be wearing sleep shorts, a tank top, a thin sweater and soping house slippers. 

“Yeah, it’s a long story.” 

“And I’m sure I’ll hear it one day but your lover boy is waiting behind the curtains.” Minghao smiled and wrapped a black winter coat around your shoulders, rubbing your arms gently before pulling away. “He hasn’t slept, so please tell him too once you finish confessing your love to one another or whatever people do after a fight.” He shoved you lightly towards the creme curtains that separated what seemed like an art room from whatever room was on the other side. 

“Also if you need to do like gross couple stuff, can you do it in his room and not the living room.” He stated before grabbing a paint brush and sitting in front of a half painted canvas. Nothing had taken shape yet and you wondered if that was his intention or if he was stuck and just decided to paint whatever came to his mind. Whatever the reason was, you’d have to wait because the creme colored curtain was whispering your name at a decibel only you could hear begging you to reveal what was on the other side. So, you did, pulling it back harder than you had intended, your breath catching itself in the back of your throat. 

Your eyes traveled around what seemed to be a living room. The navy blue couch had been pushed to the far end of the room, the back resting against the brick wall. A whole wall filled with all the books you could imagine and you found yourself laughably fighting the urge to run your finger tips against all their spines. There was a kitchen, though it looked more like it had never been used, the overflowing sink filled with dishes told you otherwise. And finally sitting in the middle, on a paint splattered dining room table was Seokmin, his bright and pleading eyes taking your attention away from the bags that laid underneath them. A two tier crooked cake sitting in front of him, with the words “I’m sorry,” written in purple icing. 

“Seokmin I-” You started but the words escaped your mouth as your feet mindlessly made your way towards him. For a split second you stood in front of him as he looked up at you, his hands shaking on his lap, and you threw yourself at him, hugging him tightly as you buried your face into his neck taking in his scent. Fearing that this might be the last time you would be smelling it, as it almost was. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, but I got scared. I didn’t want you to think of me as different, as impure, used, b-broken. I-I don’t know.” Your words rushed out almost creating an incoherent sentence against his soft skin. You felt him suck in a breath before wrapping his arms around you tightly, his palms running down your back soothingly. 

“I’m sorry too I wasn’t completely honest with you either. I know how you felt, it wasn’t easy for me when I first lost the person I loved and I wasn’t expecting to find you so soon that day either at the field.” He whispered, kissing your temple gently before pulling back and brushing the loose strands of hair away from your face. “I told you that I’d wait for you but I think I was telling myself that too.” 

“Wait you mean...what...when?” You searched his face for any indication of incenserity but all you found was warmth, longing and love. 

“Around spring of last year, we were by the cherry blossoms when it happened.” He nodded and you felt the sting of colorful swirls erupt inside of you. “They left me that day and I haven’t seen them since.” He finished cradling your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with so much intensity you were sure you would melt. 

“That’s when it happened to Vernon and I.” You placed a palm against your forehead, your blowing out of their sockets because for the first time since that day everything had started to fall into place. 

“He told me last night, we also share a birthday which is crazy.” He said matter of factly, causing a small laugh to escape your lips, “do you think we can maybe start over?” He pouted, brushing the stray tears that had fallen from the corner of your eyes way.

“I’d love nothing more Seokmin.” You whispered and closed the tiny gap between the two of you finally connecting your lips with his, the butterflies erupting in the pits of your stomach. Behind your closed eyelids you could see the colorful burst of emotions harbored deep inside you, turning different shades of blue, purple and pink as the kiss deepened. It was something you had never witnessed before and to say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. You felt on cloud nine and you didn’t want it to stop, but the air was running out of your lungs the quicker the kiss got and you could tell Seokmin was feeling the same way as his chest started heaving underneath your palms, so you pulled back, your pants matching up with his. 

For the first time since you met him, your world around you seemed to intensify. Everything was brighter, glowing with a fierceness you had never once experienced. The two of you stayed silent staring into each other’s eyes, your heart hammering against your chest as you noticed the subtle specs of gold that were mixed deep within his dark eyes. You didn’t want to stop looking at them, not when you felt his hand cup your chin to pull you back in for another kiss. 

“Do you feel it too?” You whispered, your lips hovering over his threatening to close the gap again. 

“Feel what?” He teased, rubbing his nose against yours, heating up the blood in your body. And you prayed he wouldn’t see the slight sheen of sweat that had started to form against your hairline. 

“Like you’re home?” 

“Yes” The simple three letter word, sent you into a frenzy and you once again kissed him. This time with more fever than the last, because in Seokmin’s arms you finally felt like you could fall.

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