#and realistically you know this is true but that's not how insecurity and doubt work

[formulaonedirection]

Max on racing: “I don’t know, I definitely want to try and get back into it. It’s a tough thing to get the ball rolling again, if you really know motorsports well. It’s a brutal world. But yeah, I definitely want to do that again because as time goes on I’m definitely missing it more, like for sure. Like the biggest thing adjusting from the racing was having that purpose. Because it was the only thing I ever knew what to do, you know. Like since I was 9 years old, I was racing every month and I felt like that was my purpose in life you know, to race. That was what I did. So like when I stopped it was like a big shock to the system. Okay, I was really happy to not race because it was a really tough year and I was just like “I need to get out of this space for a bit” but now I miss it again.”

#don't mind me i'm just talking to myself but watch the video! #I've literally been chewing on this video for the past week #like it was sad the first time i watched this time but i just thought about it again last week and tracked it down #and it made me sad AGAIN #just thinking about losing that ONE thing you've been doing for decades and you're still young you know you're 21 #but it feels like you've already failed #and then you're 22 and then you're 23 and you're still not racing but you still haven't really found your thing and it- it has to be a lot #and you're back home with your parents and it's lovely because your parents like you SO much and you like them too #and you keep telling yourself that leaving when you did was the best choice. it was the best and bravest thing you could do for yourself #and realistically you know this is true but that's not how insecurity and doubt work #what i'm saying is that I think my boy is immensely brave for making that decision #and putting himself out there still knowing it might not work out #max is a realist but he's also a little bit of a romantic #anyway! #just doing some character study for as yet untitled football au #max fewtrell #*maxvid

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD: MESSAGES FROM YOUR ANGELS [ oracle series reading #02 ]

♡︎ M A S T E R L I S T ♡︎

ᵖ ᵃ ⁱ ᵈ ʳ ᵉ ᵃ ᵈ ⁱ ⁿ ᵍ ˢ ᵉ ʳ ᵛ ⁱ ᶜ ᵉ ˢ

O N E T W O T H R E E

PILE ONE

some of your challeges and issues will come to an end but of course if have willingness to release them, specially if have a problem with a family who is a feminine energy-could be your mother, you may have been lately often have argument or have an issue with this feminine energy in your life which causing you to irritate a lot or your emotional and sensitiveness are causes of this 'feminine energy' and your energy is becoming to surround negative energies. Whatever you problem you have or had domestic or private matter it is, learn to know how to release it, for some if your a feminine energy your insecurities keeps rooting you as well worries about your life, this coming year you need to learn how to step up and break this cycle you've been through all the time, your angels are saying it's safe to move on. You been feeling that everything is falling in to shit lately and you worry about it that 'much', you feel that whatever you do there's on progress in your situation, realising some worries are affecting the vibration of 'positive' and 'blessings' in your life, it's a great way to open the door and do release what you need to release specially that your angels saying that it's a good time to break it this winter to upcoming autumn cycle.

PILE TWO

it seems your doubting your self-worth regarding to your financial matters, your angels wants you to know that you can attract your desires and that includes material things if you 'must' believe in yourself. you should know how manifestation or law of attraction in your life so you can attract positivity in your life or know how to value yourself and value the others too. A new love interest will begin or a new relationship in taurus season, if your longing for something else to happen your angels says that don't give up just yet! something will come to you in once in a blue moon, in rare moment, so you need to grab this chance but don't be afraid 'cause this opportunity is a positive one. If youe believe that something may happen then it can happen, if not then not. This past days or week you been feeling of lost in touch in reality or in real life, you must pay attention to reach your goals and make a concerned decision about your goals, the more practical you were, the better results you'll have. Find an inner balance between your resposibilities and your dreams, take time to solve questions, problematic situation or issue that may possibly occur in your life. This past few days, you've been super romantic or even hopeless romantic but doesn't focus much on realistic of the world and the person you've been inquiring most of the time is your 'soulmate'.

PILE THREE

a new cycle of life will come to you when you feel to look good and feel more gorgerous, or when you feel something you want to show off like your new fashion style or your new look, if you've been wishing to get someone 'attention' your angels are saying 'they working it out now!' however don't expect that this thing will come to your naturally, your coorpiration is need and require here, precisely your action is need by showing how proud you are for yourself but in a positive way of course and what you can offer to others. Learn to uplift/ get along and carry your with others, then you will realize that what you want to attract is coming to you. Be proud proud for who you are, show your true self, learn to flirt, and be generous about your self like spoiling what you like to buy. Your success will come to you when you got confidence and love and accept yourself more. Some here needs adjustments to get what they want though your in the right track, you must reassure your step 'cause one wrong move everything will dissapear in just a snap, oh well i don't meant to scare anyone here that's the message that appear, okay?. It's just be careful at your desicions you make in every situation you will going through, so choose wisely the right path.

A R T E M I S

2 0 2 2

ˢ ᵒ ᵐ ᵉ ᵒ ᶠ ʳ ᵉ ᵃ ᵈ ⁱ ⁿ ᵍ

P I C K A C A R D

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a card readings #pick a card tarot #pick a pile tarot #pick a pile reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick an image #pick a photo #pick a deck #divination #oracle reading #tarot community #love reading #future spouse reading #cartomancy #intuitive tarot reading #general tarot reading #free psychic reading #tarotoftheday #tarotcommunity #tarot #pac tarot #tarot pac #pac reading #free tarot readings #tarot reading #intuitive readings #💌 : readings by artemis

[hecckyeah]

ughh my heart hurts. a lot. that argument was no fun.

HOWEVER. it was incredibly realistic and needed and they were actually very true to their characters, in a new and sort of refreshing kind of way. the whole exam situation is really affecting lucy deeply, and as other people have said, her anxiety is spiraling out of control. as someone with anxiety, I know how it can make you question even the people you know best and read into situations in a way that deep down you know isn't true, but you're trying to place the source of your fear outside of yourself instead of acknowledging that the problem lies within your own mind.

lucy assumed the reason for tim's actions and words, and thought she knew the motive behind them. when in reality he was doing exactly what she asked him to: testing her and pressing the same button he did on plain clothes day because he knows how much she doubts herself. but because she assumes she knows his position on her doing undercover work (which they desperately need to have an honest conversation about, btw), and feels insecure about whether or not he's truly supporting her in her career, she can't be objective at the moment. she's only seeing things the way she wants to see them, in a sense. but she's an incredibly introspective and empathetic person, and I know the lucy we saw today was in a spiral that started way before they even went out on patrol, caught in all the what if scenarios and self doubt, and nothing tim could have said or done was going to pull her out of it. she has to do that on her own.

it's a lot to unpack, but since we already know *ahem* certain things that happen next week, I'm not going to agonize over it. they both need a few days to work out their own feelings and assumptions and how to come at this like functioning adults who love each other and genuinely want the best for each other.

and honestly I'm really really excited to see where this theme goes with them, and what lucy will ultimately decide about uc work. this show does a great job of putting people right where they're supposed to be, and it never feels out of character. they have a great handle on these two and what makes them tick and why they're so believable and strong together as a couple and best friends, that I'm really just looking forward to where they'll take them next :)

#the rookie #the rookie spoilers #the rookie season 6 #chenford

[unolvrs]

The way you write canon characters to not be ooc is insane to me. The way everything flows has me banging my hand against the wall from the sheer beauty of your writing. Is there a process or a trick you do to help understand a character you write? I’ve been having issues writing more complex characters *cough cough* jjk & csm characters *cough cough*. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you for the hard work with all of your fics!

AVOIDING OOC HOW-TO!

omg thank you so much?? i am literally gonna cry because i write character-driven stories more than plot-driven so you saying that makes me feel so good right now i will cry.

but the way i think about it is like, if you're doubting something the character is doing, then you're probably doing it wrong. the most recent chapter of froggie was completely different from what it was supposed to be originally. and the reason for that change is because the characters were entirely very, very much ooc. i hate just thinking about it, ugh.

anyway, i'm not really sure if there's a trick to it? i like to think whether or not the character was originally written in a complex way in the original media, i still write them with the intention of their being complex. but instead of being complex, i think it's more writing them as humans. i honestly don't know. i've always been a socially aware and insecure kid so i pick things up easily, so i might not have the best answer to give you.

but if i really think about it, just consume as much media about them as possible and put yourself in their place in a somewhat of a method acting but not way. whether or not you think they're about to do something bad, just go with it as long as you feel like it's accurate. or, you can write them in a way you don't actually write their character.

for example, in my among dawn flowers (the face of god), we see gojō from the perspective of the main character so how the main character describes gojō might not exactly be how gojō actually is but just a surface-level observation from the character. the main character might see gojō doing this for what she thinks is because of that, but in gojō's head, he's doing it because of a different reason. keeping a character from a distance helps a lot and making your character overthink their character also adds some psychological spice that makes the story look more complex and interesting.

but if you want it to be more ingrained in the character's perspective like what i did in sunday without god where it's entirely in nanami's pov, make him focus on what you already know: aka your character. make your character do this and that but don't write in a way that you're leading specifically what you want to happen. i think the hard thing about writing fanfics is that the characters you're writing aren't yours. that's why instead of usually leading up to what you want to happen, you're going to use what the character would realistically do then adjust your story to their decisions.

you can't really just choose to write a canon character in a way that serves you because that would just end up OOC. writing fanfiction, in my opinion, is adjusting to what the canon character would do while maintaining the essence of your plot.

but if you're writing strictly canon characters with no interactions with OCs, then all i can say is yes, consume as much media about them and it might not be a nice advise, but restrict yourself. the character isn't yours so you can't just go running off and make up things that aren't really true. consider it in a behavioralist perspective: with every action you have to consider their past, present, and future, most especially the past and their backstories because backstories always affect present actions and future aftermaths.

IN SUMMARY:

treat them as humans and not just as one-dimensional characters!

if you're really struggling to write the character, don't write them! write around them through keeping it from an outside perspective from a character you know or make the canon character react to a character you know / something you're familiar with.

consume as much media, read fics that you like and do not like about them and figure out why you think so!

that's all i could think of hehehe <3

according to my friend whom i also asked in passing: "writing a canon character is already considered personal interpretation." and i was like ooh? that's true.

#問 ━━ answers #助 ━━ tips & advices #fics #fanfiction

[yallemagne]

something that some modern-day media could learn is that you can have two people already together and keep it interesting. you can make them work hard to take their relationship to the next level (like marriage) or fight hard to stay together, without it having anything to do with infidelity or constant bickering. all the while they make it apparent that they love and want each other (it's kind of what makes your audience root for them!).

There's no faith in love. It's a weird thing to think about. We're raised on shit that is all "the power of friendship! and cute girls and boys!" but all the more "adult" takes on love are just "eh. sex? possessiveness? jealousy?" It's like once you grow up, all you're fed from that point on is subversive propaganda.

Even in a society that puts a hell of a lot of value upon romance and marriage, there's no faith in either in our media. It's mostly just sex, really, and then the bitter revelation that True Love is fake. I guess the writers and directors for movies are all divorcees so that kind of makes sense. And all the songwriters are young people still upset about Disney princess movies. But even in the most cheesy "we're family, we need to stick together" media, the married couple is always in the process of getting a divorce. It's silly.

Jonathan and Mina have known each other their entire lives. Their honeymoon phase had to have ended long before they ever got married. They don't love "the idea" of each other, they love each other because they know each other. Mina is confident that Jonathan would never be unfaithful to her because he honestly wouldn't, and Jonathan never tries to stifle Mina for fear someone else will sweep her off her feet because she has never given him reason to doubt her love for him. And neither of them is insecure, that's a big part of it. Their relationship works so well because there's no immaturity colouring it, no projected insecurity, just mutual trust. In my personal headcanon, part of the reason they're never concerned about "he/she must be thinking about other women/men" is that they already have experience "sharing" with Lucy. They know that you can love multiple people at once without devaluing the love of one person.

There are so many romcoms and shit, there is so much media that, instead of acknowledging that love (all types of it, really) is something you have to work at but should make you feel good, they feel the need to add cheap conflict. Infidelity and lack of trust in a partner are problems, but they aren't the only problems in a relationship. When stories only focus on character flaws as the primary driver of the conflict (Character A is too sleazy, Character B is too insecure, blah blah), it just makes you wonder "why am I watching a movie about two pricks with no chemistry and no redeeming qualities". There can be outside forces putting a strain on the relationship that the characters have to power through because ultimately their relationship is worth the effort. Romances in movies are hardly ever worth the effort because they're often built on lies that lead to a third-act breakup that is quickly resolved with a single apology. Sometimes they're just actively toxic, with the characters being too immature for a committed relationship and just being very unhealthy for each other. So the message of "we're family, we need to stick together" falls flat in those cases because the relationship has no foundation, it's a bandaid on a bullet wound.

I am so fucking invested in love. I adore love, and I adore this horror novel that has the power of friendship save the day. I would kill for more mature media that puts its faith in love rather than the idea of a happy ending or the cynical subversion of a happy ending. I'm tired of author inserts in movies telling me "that's not how the world works, love is fake".

JUST GIVE ME MORE MEDIA WITH REALISTIC TAKES ON HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. REALISTIC DOES NOT EQUAL BAD.

#update #people ask me things #rant #hey movie directors #take writing advice from this virgin on how to write a good romance

[thehighpriestess1]

I’m very intrigued to read more about Gojo’s upbringing and the inevitable conversation about Hiro! It seems like Hiro is one of the biggest hurdles Y/N needs to pass through for their relationship.

I can definitely see where Y/N can give Gojo the healing he needs. He’s using humor as a defense mechanism when he really wants reassurance.

“I’m a good father aren’t i?” he plays off as a joke when he genuinely wants Y/N, love of his life, mother of his child to tell him that yes, he is, he’s not like his dad.

when he doesn’t wanna leave her in the mornings for work, he jokes around by being clingy and insufferable but i feel like he’s also partly worried that every time he embraces her it might be the last time he can. i think he addresses this in his thoughts as well.

I can see Y/N needing Gojo too, not as much as he needs her but I can tell his reassurances can help. she doubts that he loves her, she’s convinced herself gojo only wants her around because of keisuke, she was afraid to come forward about her anemia because she didn’t want gojo to think she was an unfit parent. all these insecurities that have stemmed because of gojo that i feel he’s probably the only one that can give her that reassurance that she is good enough.

Y/N trying so HARD to act like she isn’t jealous of yuri because there’s no way she still has feelings for gojo is so cute because everyone can see she’s just as downbad for gojo as he is for her 😭 you’re not slick and it’s the cutest thing. i know it’s her having her walls up to protect herself but i can’t help but giggle when she gets jealous 🤭 gojo being oblivious to Y/N and yuri’s beef too, holy fuck 😭 i wonder if he actually realized Yuri’s true feelings for him at the end when he finally banished her from the estate. he can’t be THAT dense right 😭 i guess we’ll have to see

i forgot to add this in my last essay so i’ll add it here! i absolutely love how you portrayed Gojo and Y/N. the both of them have such amazing characterizations and i’m so invested in them separately and together. you did and are doing such an amazing job giving us characters that are flawed and likeable without being frustrating to read. i love that their struggles are so realistic and arent just solved by an “i love you” and that’s it. this is genuinely a, “we have to work together and choose to move past this together if we want to make it” problem and we don’t get enough of that realistic approach. you’re an amazing author and i’m always thankful i got to read what you chose to share 🥰

and about splitting the finale, i think you decide what you feel is best! i don’t mind lengthy chapters myself, but if you wanna split it then i’m happy either way 🤭 love you and will support whatever decision you decide ❤️

Okay so this message brought happy tears . I am so grateful to have a reader like you. I write for you and I will continue to write for you. Oh gosh. My hands are shaking because I am so happy that you felt what I was trying to make the reader feel with the story.

You are right, Hiro is a big hurdle to cross and it's all about trust because Hiro does not exist anymore so y/n will have to find a way to trust Gojo or Gojo will find a way to prove to her that he is not lying.

You are so right! Gojo is using humour to hide his insecurities. Like y/n, he does not want to seem like a weak parent. He jokingly asks her but he really wants to know that he is a good father. He wanted that reassurance from y/n. Y/n has insecurities too but here she has the upper hand because Gojo has to convince y/n to stay and not the other way around. She wants to stay too but Keisuke's happiness and safety is her priority.

She is not slick at all. Our girl is jealous and Gojo is so in love that he can't see it. Y/n is a goddess in his eyes and he just can't see that she would get jealous over someone like him.

You will get to know a great deal about Gojo's early life and trauma in the next part so all I'll say is keep some tissues ready. It's not going to be pretty at all.

#gojo satoru #ash answers 🤍 #august✨

[amandamazzillo]

REVIEW - Goodbye, Petrushka: Whimsical Yet Realistic Coming-of-Age Delight

Goodbye Petrushka–directed and written by Nicola Rose–follows Claire (Lizzie Kehoe) as she makes the impulsive decision to move to Paris, hoping her puppetry dreams come true. During this journey, she meets Thibaut (Thomas Vieljeux), a recently retired figure skater, who also feels stuck in his own life. 

Goodbye, Petrushka is a beautiful coming-of-age film showing Claire’s growth as she makes the decision to follow her dreams, while also establishing that we should not grow up too fast. One of the most captivating aspects of the film is its innocence and whimsical nature paired with realistic storytelling, which shows what women, especially younger women finding themselves, go through and how to decide to put yourself first.

The romance within the film is charming and a joy to watch, but the film never loses sight that the real story is Claire’s decisions to find her own value and appreciate her vision, even if those around her don’t quite get it. 

Goodbye, Petrushka blends wonderful romantic comedy moments with comedic beats that ring especially true to the world of writing workshops. Introducing Claire through showing the audience her unique personality and whimsy gives us the chance to get to know her and want her to succeed. 

Showing Claire in film classes–where her puppetry works are dismissed by her peers–establishes her doubts well and builds up the film’s exploration of the whimsical nature of Claire’s personality. Goodbye, Petrushka explores the importance of not giving up and not trying to change who you are to fit what is expected. Claire’s ideas of art are different from her peers and Goodbye, Petrushka shows the good in embracing what makes you different.

Visually, Goodbye, Petrushka is an exciting and inventive film, balancing the use of animation and intense framing to bring each moment to life. When Claire fantasies, we see these visuals as animated sequences, which feels fitting for the character–like we are seeing exactly what she does within her fantasies. 

When Claire interacts with the family for which she is a nanny, there is an intensity to the shots, framing each member of the family as a threat. Watching these scenes feels like we are seeing these new–and not very friendly people–from Claire’s point-of-view.

They are bombarding her space, questioning her skills, and covering up their insecurities. And we see these scenes with angled and close shots, emulating the way Claire feels thrown into this unfamiliar environment. 

Goodbye, Petrushka is a wonderfully strange coming-of-age comedy that slowly allows us to become closer and closer to Claire, as she also begins to learn more about herself and possibly what she wants out of life. Nicola Rose’s writing and directing wonderfully establishes Claire with a familiar innocence fitting a character of this age–which comes together beautifully with Lizzie Kehoe’s performance and the film's stellar production design--and puppet design. 

Goodbye, Petrushka takes time to make sure the audience knows who Claire is before her first line is spoken. We see her room and her whimsical and creative personality is represented so clearly and perfectly. Lizzie Kehoe gives a great performance which highlights the innocence of her character, especially in the moments after she first meets Thibaut and is shown falling into a classic crush–including the smiles that Claire tries to unsuccessfully hide from herself.

Some of the comedy works great–especially the reused actress popping up throughout the film when Claire is finding opposition toward her goals. But at times, the jokes do not work quite as well.

There is always this feeling of whimsy and absurdity to the film, especially in scenes between Claire and her best friend Julia (Casey Landman). With these moments, the more absurd they are, the better. A few times, these conversations fell flat, but they worked often enough that the eccentricity builds the film’s unique tone. 

Goodbye, Petrushka adds warmth and humor with adorable and expressive puppet design. Some of the most memorable moments of comedy for me come from shots of Claire’s puppets, especially quick cuts to their expressive faces. 

Goodbye, Petrushka’s romantic moments are wonderfully shot and show great chemistry between Lizzie Kehoe as Claire and Thomas Vieljeux as Thibaut. Goodbye, Petrushka is a delight to watch and it is easy to root for Claire’s self-discovery and seeing how her crush on Thibaut develops as the film progresses.

The realism of Claire’s story works so well in contrast to the whimsical and absurdist aspects of the film. Coming-of-age stories can feel far-fetched, but Goodbye, Petrushka balances its tone with moments about relationships and how life goes that feel realistic and familiar. 

Conclusion

Goodbye, Petrushka is a delightful coming-of-age story that balances realism with fantastical elements, creating a unique experience. Nicola Rose does great work-as writer and director-and I look forward to seeing her unique voice in the years to come.

#film review #movie review #goodbye petrushka #writing

[demonsandmischief]

Doubts

A Chris Evans Imagine

Chris Evans x Female Reader, 1.1K Words

Angst Alert

-Doubts-

A female actress mentions having a relationship with your boyfriend, Chris Evans, and doubts begin to form.

----

"I'm here with Lindsey Jordan and Chris Evans who are the lead roles of this upcoming movie," the talk show host says into the camera.

You couldn't help the small smile that automatically formed on your face as you caught a glimpse of your handsome boyfriend. He had been so busy lately, so you took any chance you got to see him, even if it was through a TV.

Lindsey Jordan was a beautiful brown haired, blue eyed actress who could honestly be a super model. Chris had briefly mentioned that she was pretty nice to work with.

You continued washing your dishes, not fully giving the interview your attention.

"Now Lindsey, what was it like working alongside Chris?"

"It was amazing. Chris is such a sweet guy, and I think we really formed a connection," she had a perfect smile plastered on her perfect face.

"You know, I think a good friendship is what makes the on-screen relationship so realistic," Chris said, easing the doubt that was winding in your gut.

Lindsey gave a beautiful laugh, placing a manicured hand on Chris's shoulder. "He's downplaying. But yeah, we really hit it off."

The interviewer smiled, "I have some pictures here. I have to say you guys are the cutest couple."

The plate you were holding dropped into the sink with a loud clatter.

Pictures appeared behind them on the stage. It was Lindsey and Chris kissing on set. It looked more for the movie.

Another was one that looked like a paparazzi photo of them walking hand in hand in LA.

Your heart plummeted to your feet.

"That's all the time we have. Catch their movie in theaters-" you shut it off.

You knew your relationship was too good to be true. How long had this been going on for?

The talk show was filmed in New York City, and Chris should already be on his way back home to Boston. He would probably want to see you. What were you going to do? What were you going to say?

Even if he weren't in a relationship with Lindsey, you were holding him back. You were just a nobody.

You brushed away the first set of tears and swallowed the sob that threatened to break free.

Your phone buzzed with a text message, waking the screen so the lock screen photo of you and Chris being all cuddly was visible.

You loved him with all your heart. He was such a sweet, down to earth guy, and you trusted him.

There was something different about this though. It was putting your worst fear into light. Did Chris even think about how you would feel when you saw it? He knew you liked to watch his interviews. He could have given you a heads up.

He always texted or called you when he was traveling. The radio silence only added to the fear that was digging its claws into your chest.

You decided finally after some more years that you just wanted to be left alone. You silenced your phone and made your way to your bedroom.

The sounds of the TV playing old reruns of your favorite show comforted your fragmented mind. You wished you could just turn your thoughts off and sleep the rest of the day.

You were startled from your light dozing to knocking on your front door.

You groaned, tempted to ignore it, but decided to get up. You had been ignoring your phone after all. What if it was an emergency? Except, you knew full well who it was.

Chris Evans stood on your doorstep, looking casual and handsome as usual. His blonde hair was ruffled and his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses that he pulled off.

"There's my girl," he smiled a sweet smile that melted and broke your heart. "I tried to call but you didn't answer." He reached for you but you took a step back.

"What's the matter? Are you sick?" His smile dropped to concern as he took you in. "Have you been crying?"

He reached for you again and this time you let him as the sobs you had been holding in finally released into one big breakdown.

His warm arms pulled you to his chest as he rubbed your back. "What happened, baby?" he whisper, shushing and rocking you gently. "Shh, it's gonna be okay."

The sobs lessened to hiccups and Chris wiped away the tears with the pads of his thumb. "I've never seen you cry like this, Y/N. Please tell me what's going on."

"I saw that interview with Lindsey," you tried to pull away from his embrace but he held on.

"Then you saw how I was trying to deflect her advances, right?"

"But the pictures," you protested. "You were holding her hand." It sounded stupid and insecure, even to your own ears. You wanted to curl up under the blankets and hide away.

"Come on now, she saw the paparazzi and grabbed my hand. It was a publicity stunt, that's all. That's why I can't stand LA."

You pulled away again and this time he let you. "I thought you said she was nice?" you mumbled, wiping the tears with your palm and you gave a sniffle.

"Doesn't mean she didn't have other motives," he shrugged. He moved towards your couch and you trailed behind him.

"I missed you so damn much. Come here," he demanded, giving a yawn as he stretched out.

You moved closer and he didn't hesitate to tug you to his chest.

"I wouldn't be mad if you wanted to be with her though," you whispered, not able to meet his eyes.

Chris sighed, "Nobody even compares to you. You're my everything."

He played with your hair as he continued to speak, "Don't doubt my feelings for you, baby. You know I wouldn't cheat."

"I know that, but you're on, like, the top ten hottest men list. It makes me doubt."

He chuckled, kissing your cheek with an affectionate nuzzle.

"You don't need to worry. All you have to do is talk to me, you know that? I love you."

"I love you," you said back as he brushed his lips with yours.

You settled on his chest, your eyes drooping as your body lagged from the stress of the day. Why were you even worried in the first place?

"You shouldn't ignore your boyfriend. It isn't very nice," he pouted after a moment.

"I'm sorry," you craned your neck to kiss his jaw.

"Why are you looking at the top ten hottest men?"

You giggled slightly, meeting his loving and shining blue eyes. "Who's having doubts now?"

----

Masterlist

Tags: @nyx2021 (general) @bklynxbaby (marvel) @missroro (marvel actors)

A/N: Remember engagement is my encouragement to keep writing! Please give a like or reblog or tell me what you think. I'd love to hear from you. :)

#chris evans x female reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans x you #steve rogers #angst #chris evans fanfiction

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #kuroo #bokuto #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo fluff #bokuto fluff #kuroo smut #bokuto smut #kuroo headcanons #bokuto headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #kuroo angst #bokuto angst #anon #answered

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 149 Expert Review Time

Hey gamers what’s up time for another CHAPTER 👏 REVIEW 👏

It was looking kinda bleak last time for pretty much everyone so I’m hoping things improved this time around, but it seems Murata and ONE are kinda going through their “I’m going to put my characters through the MOST” phase so… that feels unlikely. But nevertheless… still excited to see my favorite boys.

The 10000th Psychic Sister cover. Murata, I’m begging you. There’s literally like 30 other characters to choose from. I know you like drawing boobs but imma need you to put the pencil down for a minute and take a walk because this just ain’t IT.

“Summer is coming” it is July. Summer has been here for ten years. I’m so fucking hot all the time. Everything has been evaporated out of me and I’m literally a raisin.

The Psychic Sisters covers are just so devoid of life a lot of the time… I wouldn’t mind if it was them fighting or engaging in everyday activities but when they’re posed for the camera and deliberately placed there to look sexy it just sucks all the human out of them. The cover/splash page is a great chance to show characters in a new light!!! It’s mostly set away from the story so you can do whatever you want! Choosing to make 80 fanservice covers is just wasted opportunity for what could be additional character development. It’s gotten to a point where even the smegma-slinging bitchboys on Reddit are complaining about the excessive sexy covers…. When PussySlayer384756 complains that there’s too much tittage being shown, that’s how you KNOW we’ve got a problem. Now, idk how the fan climate is in Japan but I can’t imagine they’re feeling much different over there either.

Also, her anatomy is… janky. Her tit is bigger than her head, her belly is too long, and she’s got like 4 spare ribs. Like, I’m by no means an art expert but it doesn’t take a chef to know the soup is shit, you know what I mean? I feel like page after page of Murata drawing obscene muscle men has made him rusty on what should be (somewhat) normal-looking people.

Darkshine learns what TRUE peak male performance looks like.

You’ve gotta wonder how Darkshine even got to the S-Class to begin with when he pussies out of nearly every single fight… except the one where the opponent was literal water. Everyone says that he just joined the association for additional validation, and I believe it… this boy is not cut out for actual hero-ing. 99% Of the time HE’S the one who needs a hero.

It kinda bothers me how useless he’s been post-Garou fight, especially when we spent like an entire chapter trying to console his ass. I get that’s part of his character and development… but it’s begun to slow things down. We get it. We don’t need to see him be insecure every time a new enemy pops up. One was enough. We would’ve gotten the same effect if he just sat out the entire time post-consolation, because everything that’s happened to him on the surface has been kinda redundant.

Here comes the boooyyy 🎶🎶

Nice callback. I’m glad Metal Bat is finally here. Bitch runs slow as fuck.

It’s nice to see him act on his own agency instead of orders from the hero association. He’s clearly much happier when helping out on his own accord, and has a ton of initiative too. The chapter he got with just he and King meeting up and slingshotting themselves to the fight was really a breath of fresh air from all of the fighting. It’s moments like these where ONE remembers that people like OPM for the characters, and not necessarily the pretty action sequences. I really like this duo. I like Metal Bat. I like it when they’re given time to be themselves and not just vessels for the next fight scene.

I know I said I wanted the heroes to die but Murata I’m begging you please don’t kill the child. You can kill Puri, though. I hate that fucker.

Child Emperor regularly visiting and eating with Bofoi even despite being his lab assistant would be a lot cuter if Bofoi wasn’t the human equivalent to a dog turd. I might’ve overstated that… seems like Bofoi is just using him as an errand boy. The clear lack of respect he has for CE is very indicative of his character and is not necessarily a bad thing plot-wise, but I would still like to beat him with a cane. Additionally, it’s clear that he’s not going to help the heroes here. At least, I don’t think so. His “fuck them kids” attitude seems to be a pretty big pillar in the building of his character and I doubt ONE would jeopardize that just because he’s written himself into a corner. Oh, well. We’ll see.

It’s very sweet that even when near death, CE still thinks of Zombieman. Aaaaghh it’s so GOOD when the characters actually LIKE each other. I know realistically not everyone is gonna be friends but man… it would be a lot cooler if we got more insight on their chemistry. Pleaz have more Metal Bat-and-King-esque chapters. I wanna see how everyone gets along.

Also, the concept of Puri just manifesting drilling powers and carving through solid rock with nothing else but pure strength and determination is so funny. A little convenient, sure, but I really don’t care because it’s actually done well. Their reunion scene is hilarious. More stuff like this pleaz….

I don’t even know what to say about Genos here. Dude, I know you made an oath to protect Tatsumaki or whatever, but there’s no shame in a good bail. You can’t even bail anymore because your damn legs are gone. See, this is what happens when you make promises. The secret to keeping your legs intact is doing the bare minimum. Hope this helps ❤️

He’s making a valiant effort but… I’m afraid he just ain’t gonna do much while roleplaying as a worm. Maybe he’ll make a chrysalis and come out as a butterfly. Wait, that’s caterpillars. Fuck. TATSUMAKI IS A GONER, BRO. WE NEED YOU TO BE THE DEUTERAGONIST!! IF YOU DIE WE LOSE 70% OF MERCH SALES NOOOOOOOO

Local man has a heart attack in front of thousands of little monsters and somehow saves the world, more at 5.

King I’m begging you please get that shit checked out that’s not NORMAL.

Yeah, I like this conclusion. Very tasteful cliffhanger. I mean we know King ain’t gonna do shit but SOMEHOW black sperm is gonna get punted like the little cumstain he is. Can’t wait to see the events that unfold next chapter… it seems like every scene that involves King turns out to be really funny and I’m super looking forward to black sperm seeing Jesus.

Also, a little off-topic but I just really like the way Murata inked his pants. Got a real comic book feel to it. I mean, he’s just really good at drawing clothes overall (save for Fubuki’s body-tight dress that is 100% not how women’s clothing works but I digress). Fucker understands fabric physics like I understand how to make a bomb ass chicken parm. I respect it.

In conclusion, lower everyone’s expectations of you and you might get to keep your arms and legs. This has been Life Lessons from Forrest. You now owe me 50$.

#one punch man #opm #zombieman #metal bat #child emperor #king #manga spoilers #I mean not really it’s been out for like two weeks now (I think) #Genos #Tatsumaki #puri puri prisoner #meta

[certified-sloth]

Scenario: mc hating being jealous and the feeling of envy just bcuz and I quote "it's make me feel gross...and stuff"

*the brothers trying to make mc jealous by spending less time with them and hanging out with other people*

Mc unfazed: oh I didn't notice u were gone! Did u have fun atleast? Where they nice??

I'm not sure if they would really do that... but i'll try to relate it as much as I can

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Lucifer

Sighing in frustration, he frowns deeply at your awfully fake smile.

"MC, you do realize this is all related to my line of work. Of course I'd have to deal with it, as per Diavolo's orders." He tries to explain.

"Really? Like how it was Diavolo's orders for you to keep me 'alive' for the program? That's how we started out right?"

He groans and shakes his head in disapproval. "I didn't ask you to assess me like that. Clearly, you're accusing me of something I am not guilty of."

"We need a break. Then we'll talk about this once we both clear our heads."

He concluded, as he left you alone feeling as if you've drowned from disappointment.

Of course, the 1st born was a prideful demon. There's always a limit to his patience, and you were not an exception.

Mammon

He tries to explain it to you, but you wouldn't understand.

"Was I making you jealous? No! Can't you just stop jumpin' into conclusions? It makes me feel like you never trusted me..."

He does no good, but never had he done anything to try and hurt you purposely. If he did, then he's sorry.

This man is head over heels for you, and you still think he'd do something as far off to spend less time with you? Just for someone else?

The 2nd born may be a fool but he can be sensible at times.

"Then what were you doing with them?" You asked with a frown. He sighs and ruffles his hair.

"I was tryin' to ask them help with some gift for your birthday. I don't wanna ask my brothers since they're gonna scramble up ideas of their own gifts." He explained rather honestly.

You blinked, not sure if you should believe him or not. He's used these tricks on his brothers, what's the difference if it were you?

"D-don't look at me like that! I'm not lying! I wanted to surprise ya but I didn't want you to wrap your head in things that ain't true..." he stammered as he looked away with in embarrassment.

Sighing in defeat, you went to pat his head.

"I believe you... and, i'm sorry for doubting you too." You apologized and he glanced at you before letting out a chuckle.

"I mean ya ain't wrong with feelin' like this, at least now ya know how I feel when I see you with my brothers."

You laugh and nodded at his statement.

"Yes."

Leviathan

It clearly doesn't end well... you're glaring daggers at his back while he was playing a game.

He's a shut-in, sure he's still supposed to have the outside world's communication, but making you jealous? With a real person involved? Along with having to interact with them?

Now that's just not realistic. The most way he could make you jealous is to just talk about Ruri this and Ruri that. Nothing else.

You must be out of your mind to think he has the guts to pull in another normie when he already has you.

His Henry.

"I don't get why you would suddenly think someone like me can get anyone else... I mean there's my brothers, but me? I'm just not fit for that."

He frowns and hesitantly holds your hand, trying to ignore that fast pace of his heartbeat.

If it weren't for the background music from the game still viewed on the screen, you would've been able to hear his heart close to jump out.

He's been there. He's the literal avatar of envy, feeling jealous of others and what they have is his job.

So the fact that you're like this... he would've been happy that you feel jealous of someone that wants him.

But in reality, he knows how disgusting the feeling is. Instead he tries to talk you out with experiences like that.

It's a heavy feeling on your chest, as if you'd end up suffocating. Especially if the other had done nothing to assure your assumptions.

Slowly but surely, you and him end up creating a deeper bond by talking about those little moments and just end up laughing or get all embarrassed about it.

Satan

If you wish to accuse him, quit beating around the bush and tell him in a forward manner.

He doesn't read minds, but he's observant. He just wants to be sure of his conclusion as to why you seem upset with that fake smile of yours.

Your body language was enough to tell him what you were feeling, but he hopes you tell him honestly.

"Is this about the succubus I told you about the other day?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

When you didn't answer him, he took that silence as a 'yes'.

He sighs and leads you to the couch to stare at you seriously. If he wants this to be dealt with peacefully, both you and him will have to talk this out in a mature way.

"MC, she's been asking for tutoring. She has made her advances, but I declined. She was failing her grades so I had someone else to help her." He explained.

"So you didn't tutor her personally?"

"Of course not. I don't want to interact with someone who had actively showed their interest in me when they know I already have you." He assured with a smile.

He then noticed your shoulders slump slightly in relief and he chuckles at your sudden change of expression.

Tucking your hair from behind your ear, he offers to read this new book he just got from Akuzon.

Asmodeus

He's been staring at you almost offended of your accusation.

"Darling, I am the avatar of lust, surely you realized that whatever advances I make to others are merely fake." He assured, putting a hand on your shoulder.

"You're the only one, and every word I tell you are nothing but truth." He said sincerely as you look down, feeling lost.

He knew how it was hard to be with him. You're dating the embodiment of lust itself, surely it seems as if he's not into commitment.

But he tries, because you didn't love him for his looks. If ever you were to be insecure, whether you tell him about it or not.

"Did it seem as if I were neglecting you? I'm sorry, how would you want me to make it up to you?"

He only wishes the best for you, at this point, even the avatar of lust himself is hooked.

Beelzebub

Why are you looking at him like that as if he's done something much more horrible than yesterday?

You only frowned with how clueless he is and ended up telling him what was the matter.

He looks at you in distaste of your words. Shaking his head, he cleared that he thought you were mad at him so he decided to give you space.

"I didn't want to push in your comfort zone especially if you looked mad the other day... and the lady was the manager of the new restaurant that opened."

He smiles and picks you up. "I was asking for arrangements to take you there to cheer you up, i'm sorry."

You slowly look away, muttering an apology for misunderstanding. It's just that you've been insecure of your own capabilities.

And Beel had always assured you that there was nothing wrong.

"It's ok to be insecure MC, it's part of your humanity... from what Satan said, and I still love you this much. Please don't belittle yourself."

...ah, to think that a demon would acknowledge your self-worth more than you ever could.

Belphegor

Are you sure you hadn't dreamed of it instead? He hasn't even left the bed for two days.

"I'm not trying to spend less time with you, i'm sorry." He apologized sincerely.

Although he's half-asleep, he knows how you don't like feeling like this.

As he showers you with love, you clearly were stubborn to reject his advances.

He would've been mad that you didn't trust him enough to assume he was seeing others.

Nuzzling close to your neck, your back facing him as he held you close. Kissing your neck gently with soft apologies in between.

He already learned that one of you should yield in times like this. If you see him at fault, then sure, he'll accept it.

It went really bad when the both of you had stayed stubborn, he doesn't want to repeat it.

"It feels... disgusting." You whispered how you felt, taking hold of his hand as your consciousness was beginning to fail you.

You could feel him smile as he hummed softly on your neck. "I know, i'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow, but don't expect too much from me." He finished, and you've heard him clearly.

But your consciousness had already slipped away before you could answer as you slowly fell into deep sleep.

#request #writing ideas #obey me shall we date #om! #obey me scenarios #obey me imagines #obey me fic #obey me headcanons #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #levi obey me #satan obey me #asmo obey me #beel obey me #belphie obey me

[jediken0bi]

Home

Summary:

After a rough case Spencer knows exactly what he needs to feel okay again. Or rather, who he needs

(no smut, pure fluff)

word count: 1747

-

On days like today, the only thing Spencer wants to do is be held by you. It took him some time to figure out that physical affection was something that could make him feel calm and content as opposed to the feeling of discomfort he used to experience every time someone invaded his personal space to go in for a hug or something of that sort. His best guess was that it's different with you because he loves you. Not like he loves Derek or JJ or any other member on his team, but in a way that feels all consuming sometimes.

He means that in the best way possible.

He fell in love with you almost as quickly as you fall asleep after a hard day in the shop. It overwhelmed him at first. He wasn't used to feeling with such intensity.

There was a time where Spencer believed he couldn't love and be loved in return. He didn't think he knew how. But you just walked into his life one day and before he realized it his heart had made the decision to love you.

He'd like to say that he doesn't remember what life used to be like without your constant reminders that you fell in love with him because of what he considers his quirks and not despite of them, or your cuddles that were usually followed by praise or words of encouragement, but the truth is he does remember.

He remembers how dull life felt before you. How lonely he was and how undeserving of love he felt all his life.

Sometimes he can't help but fear what would happen if you suddenly got tired of him.

But then he remembers the words you whisper to him ever so often when you feel him growing anxious:

"You're the brightest star in my galaxy, Spence"

It's cheesy and it's cliche but it soothes his soul like nothing else. Hearing you say those words makes him feel like he can finally let out that breath he's been holding all day long.

It's cheesy and it's cliche but it is perfect.

It's been a little over a week since you and Spencer have last seen each other. Sure, you've texted and called as often as your schedules let you and you even convinced him to facetime you once, but it just doesn't compare to actually being with each other.

The team had just wrapped up a horrible case involving young women. Without going into detail it's fair to say that Spencer couldn't wait to wrap his arms around you tight enough to ensure that you're here with him, that you're safe.

The Metro was late, delaying his arrival by approximately 20 minutes. While that's not enough time to raise concern for a lot of people Spencer knows better than to not let you know.

His job puts him at risk every day and you're not naive enough to believe that safety is a given for people in Spencers line of work.

He shoots you a quick text letting you know he'll be late and you reply with lots of exclamation points, emphasizing how excited you are to see him.

He can't help but smile to himself. He closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. He's struggling with letting the events of that recent case go.

The victims looked too much like you and it sometimes took Spencers focus away from what was right in front of him. He can't help but feel like he should've been quicker.

There's no doubt in his mind that you'll start questioning him as soon as you spot the distressed look on his face and you're going to want him to tell you what happened. And he will. Just maybe not tonight. You two agreed to have no secrets and the key to that is total transparency when it comes to what's on your mind.

He doesn't worry though. You never make him talk about work when he tells you he doesn't want to yet.

You don't push because you know that he'll tell you the next day once he is rested and convinced that both of you are safe.

Completely lost in his thoughts, he almost missed his stop. He managed to get off in time and from there it was only a 5 minute walk to your place.

Your Place.

These words are starting to taste bitter on Spencers tongue. He's been wanting to ask you to move in with him for weeks now but every time the opportunity presents itself he chickens out.

Part of him is so scared you're going to reject him and he's going to lose you.

Realistically speaking he knows that you value your time together as much as he does and he can't imagine you'd ever laugh at him or leave him for something like that but it's those pesky insecurities he's been trying to overcome that tell him that he can't really be sure.

He's confident though. Tonight is the night. As much as he doesn't mind going to your place to see you after cases, he can't shake the thoughts of him being able to come home to you. Thoughts of you waiting for him with open arms and a overall presence of love that will fills your shared apartment.

Before he can get too lost in his thoughts he knocks on your door and starts nervously shifting around on his feet.

It's not that he's afraid you're not happy to see him. Quite the opposite actually you've made sure he knows you've missed him just as much as he missed you. It's just that Spencer never really got used to being on the receiving end of such strong affection.

He loves it. God, he loves it so much but it still feels like it's too good to be true. His job makes him paranoid and as much as he wants to, he can't quite shake his anxieties about losing you just yet.

You open the door and he looks up with wide eyes.

There you are in your worn out Star Wars shirt with those adorable matching shorts practically beaming at him. You look so happy to see him. Because of him. His eyes immediately soften and he opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it.

"Spence!! You're back!"

Before he knows it you're already in his arms. Legs wrapped around his middle and arms around his neck squeezing him tightly before leaning back to press a firm kiss to his head.

He doesn't waste a single second. Wrapping his arms around you and pressing you closer to his chest. He lets out a breathy laugh.

"Hey there beautiful. I missed you so much"

You let out a small giggle before leaving the embrace to properly look at him. One of your hands goes to rest on his cheek while the other starts brushing through his messy hair.

You look at him with a wide smile.

"I can almost guarantee i missed you more, handsome. Now come in we haven't cuddled in over a week and i'm starting to feel very serious withdrawal symptoms!"

This time he lets out a proper laugh, nodding his head and taking your hands in his.

"Yeah i know a thing or two about that. We got a lot catching up to do then"

You only smile wider and drag him inside, promptly closing the door behind you.

"Indeed we do so go get changed. You must be uncomfortable in those clothes. You're in luck sir your pj's just got out of the dryer"

You push him towards the bedroom door and both of you laugh at the domestic scene at hand before Spencer stops, turns out and wraps one of his arms around your waist.

"Can i get a 'welcome home' first"

He looks at you with such love in his eyes you almost forget what you want to say.

"Hmm well technically you're not home yet"

You say teasingly knowing exactly what he is actually asking for. You're more than willing to give it to him considering it's all you could think about this past week and a half but you always did enjoy watching him squirm.

Spencer doesn't seem fazed by your comment. He looks a bit nervous but other than that he radiates a certain confidence you're finding incredibly attractive on him.

"You're here, aren't you? My home isn't a place. It's a person and that person is standing in front me right now"

You stare at him with shiny eyes. Despite what he may think, Spencer is actually quite the romantic. It's not unusual for him to compliment you out of nowhere. You're fairly confident you never experienced genuine love until you've met Spencer.

But this? This was so much more than a compliment. It's him wanting to make you understand just how committed he is to you. How much he loves you.

Not wanting to wait any longer you just grab him by the collar of his vest and press a firm kiss to his lips. You only hope that Spencer can feel the extent of your love through this kiss.

What starts out as a innocent way to proof that he is your home too quickly turns more heated when Spencer presses you closer to him.

His tongue asks for entrance and you grand it to him. You're completely lost in the feeling of Spencer and every second that passes you get more desperate to proof your love to him like he did by telling you you're his home.

Your hands start roaming through his hair before landing on the nape of his neck.

He lets out a soft sigh as you start playing with his curls. After some time the two of you are starting to slow down until it was only an exchange of little pecks and reassuring kisses to the forehead, nose or cheek.

Lips just millimeters apart you whisper: "You're my home, too, Spence"

He smiles and presses another soft kiss to your lips.

Not ready to break the embrace just yet, you hug him tight. He, obviously not wanting to let go of you either, starts rubbing small circles on the sides of your hips.

"Welcome home baby"

You whisper into his neck. Loud enough so he could hear it but not loud enough so it would break the quiet atmosphere around you two.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds imagine #reader insert

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

"We all know he's squishy deep down" is such an accurate description of Azul :D Would a relationship with Azul be healthy? Apart from the fact that he probably needs lots of reassurance in the beginning and might have some doubts every now and then

Here’s the thing: just because a character is “more soft” than the fandom tends to portray them as doesn’t necessarily mean that character would have a healthy relationship. Softness does not guarantee romantic stability.

If you want an even more indepth look at Azul’s character, go read @pianostarinwonderland’s blog. They’re a hard core octoboi stan, so they’ll be able to elaborate a lot more than I will.

***Spoilers ahead***

As much as we are aware of Azul’s true nature, we need to consider first and foremost that he usually has a front up. He barely even lowers his guard around the twins, who are his “childhood friends” (aka business partners) and are aware of what he truly is like. Azul won’t just let anyone close to him just because he has known them for a long time or because they are intimate with him. We see in chapter 3 that he only loses it and breaks down when he is literally cornered and on the verge of losing everything that he has worked so hard to obtain. Realistically, you will almost never get the chance to reassure him on anything because of his tendency to bury his true self.

Let’s not forget that he is extremely insecure about his octopus form. Excessive amounts of compliments, praise, or reassurance will not heal those insecurities. Azul has been bullied since at least middle school, so a lot of the comments his tormentors threw his way were internalized and obviously continue to bring him embarrassment in the present. That’s why he sends you to scavange that picture of him from the Alantica museum. Azul literally wants to purge any traces of the past—that’s how deep seated his self hatred is. He will send debtors to the ends of the world to collect pictures of himself just so he can extinguish them all. If anything, he’ll find excessive compliments suspicious because it feels like you’re buttering him up to get something in return later.

Modern day Azul also has a very business-oriented mindset, and he is not very honest about his feelings. He’s not above using flattery or manipulation to get you to sign on the dotted line. Engaging in a relationship, even platonic ones, is considered to be “just business” to him. We love to think that the Octatrio are BFFs, but it’s not that simple. Azul is aware that the twins will betray him at a moment’s notice if he stops amusing them, yet he continues to work with them anyway. Viewing relationships as business transactions... that doesn’t sound like a particularly healthy mindset to me. Methodical, yes, but it minimizes emotional attachment, and I would think that you’d want more emotional investment in an ideal relationship. As bad as it might sound, wouldn’t you be concerned that Azul is simply using you to achieve his own goals? He is already using the twins (and they, in turn, are using him) for that very purpose. There is nothing stopping him from continuing to do so in his other relationships.

Speaking of business, Azul is a busy octopus. He’s not only a model student, but also on many planning committees, the Board Game Club, AND the owner/manager of the Mostro Lounge (plus his business whole wish fulfillment side business). When would he have additional time to dedicate to romance? It’s clear that he prioritizes furthering himself over others. Azul is greedy and selfish, plain and simple, always looking out for number one, always seeking ways to further his own ambitions. Everyone else is just a stepping stone to that end.

#character analysis #Azul Ashengrotto #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven #question #spoilers

[kirishwima]

Hello lovely! Hope you're doing well. 💖 If you're taking Mysme requests still, I was wondering if you could do headcannons for the RFA+V (and Saeran if you want) with a female MC who has depression and struggles with being overweight and the insecurity that that brings, but instinctively hides her stress and prioritizes the others over herself?

anon are you Me. Are You. this is too specific and i relate 100%, i'm sorry you feel this way, know i love & appreciate you <33

I'll use she/her pronouns for MC since you specified them!

RFA + Saeran with an insecure, depressed, overweight MC:

Yoosung:

* Listen, I love him, but boy would take a while to realise that MC's insecure, especially if she keeps hiding her own anxiety to help him when he's upset

* He will tell her he loves her CONSTANTLY, and when you don't love yourself, hearing that can...hurt sometimes, makes you doubt yourself. If she doesn't voice this concern, he won't take much note of it-he'll understand when she's upset, of course, and do his best to help, but he's not the best at reading between the lines, so she'll need to be a little bit more upfront about it

* The one scenario I can picture, is him coming home one day, perhaps finding MC getting dressed or after a shower-standing in front of a mirror, gaze averted, shoulders tense.

* He's happy to see her, but notices her stiff smile, how she flinches away when he goes to hug her, and when he asks what's wrong, if she says 'nothing' he'll insist until she talks to him, tells him her insecurities, how she doesn't get what he sees in her, how she'll be happy when they're together but then feel so empty the next moment.

* He'll feel SO guilty for not recognising the signs, but he won't beat himself up over it-what's most important is helping her, not wallowing in self-pity.

* He'll sit with MC for as long as it takes that day, will hold her close and list all the things he loves about her even if she doesn't believe a single one of them. He can't relate to the insecurities about her body, though he'll try to convince her he loves her as is-because it's the truth! He can however, relate to what it's like to feel empty, to force yourself through the motions of daily life while shrivelling up inside.

* So he vows to help, in anyway possible.

Zen:

* Listen, I refuse to believe that behind all that narcissism there aren't insecurities stemming from all the shit he's been through in his childhood. Boy's developed narcissism to cope with what he thought of himself as a kid, and I stand by that.

* So he's more observant than you might think-when he sees MC checking herself in the mirror, poking at her stomach, how she'll sigh and put a big hoodie over her t-shirt, how she shies away from physical affection, how seeing him shirtless oftentimes makes her feel bad about herself, that he 'has to be seen with her'-he notices it all, and hates it, hates that her brain made her think she's anything less than gorgeous.

* He tried asking her about it but she insists she's fine and she's no more or less insecure than the average person-ever the one to try and keep his worry at bay.

* So instead he'll let her know he loves her every single day, will tell her he loves her body, will post online about how proud he is to be with her-for all the world to know, so no one will ever dare question her worth.

* It's an uphill battle, and it's not one Zen can win for her, but he'll do his best to help, so she can realise her own self-worth.

Jaehee:

* Baehee would be one of the most observant people in the RFA-though she doesn't share the same insecurities, she can understand them, and will often prod MC, asking her to talk about anything that might be bothering her.

* If MC says 'it's nothing, please don't worry', she won't push much; she doesn't want her to completely clam up. But she'll always be gentle, holding MC's hands as she says she'll always be here if MC wants to talk, that she helped her so much she wants to be MC's support too.

* I know how weird it feels lending clothes to others when you're chubby-so I feel like sharing clothes with Jaehee would be...an ordeal. Being unable to wear Jaehee's skinny jeans, whilst she can fit into MC's, would sting, and it'd only add onto MC's guilt-she doesn't want to feel this way about her girlfriend! She loves her, appreciates her, doesn't ever want her to know about these thoughts.

* But again, Jaehee knows. She understands it, so-she takes MC shopping, and together they buy matching pairs of pyjamas and t-shirts, things that, whilst they don't need to share, can wear and be reminded of one another.

* "I love you as you are-you accepted me for who I am, so let me do the same for you" she'll say, will hug MC and hold her close until she lets her feelings out, talks about her worries.

* Jaehee would be eager to help search for a good psychologist, to get MC professional help-she knows what she can do as MC's girlfriend isn't much, so she wants MC to get the best help she can.

*And of course, she'll be there for MC every step of the way

Jumin:

* oof...listen. He loves MC SO much, will buy her the moon if she asks, but this man..he's only recently discovered his own emotions. He's emotionally dense, and when MC says she's fine, he tends to take it at face value. Why would MC lie to him, after all? She trusts him enough to let him know if something's bothering her, doesn't she?

* Not to say he doesn't realise there's something wrong-he's a businessman, reading his clients is a part of his job description, emotions included. So when MC's smile stretches thin, when she's overwhelmed but swallows it down in favour of acting like everything's okay, he knows-maybe not to the extent that others might've, but he can tell something's wrong, and he'll honestly be upset MC doesn't talk to him about it.

* So he'll just...sit down and talk to her about it. Ask her to be upfront with him, tell her he wants her to be happy, that he wants to be there for her and help her any way he can, but can't do that if she doesn't talk with him and let him know what's wrong.

* If MC breaks down-if she cries, hides her face in her hands, he'll be shell-shocked. He's so used to her smiling, even at the face of adversity, that seeing her like this...he has no idea what to do at first, not one used to emotional outbursts.

* Insticts soon kick in though, and he gathers her in his arms, rubs his hands on her back, letting her cry until she calms down, no matter how long that takes.

* When she tells him about her depression, her insecurities, he'll nod, quietly listening to her worries, formulating a plan of attack.

* He quite bluntly doesn't understand why she's insceure. She's beautiful?? He loves her exactly as she is?? If she wants to change something about her appearance she's more than welcome to, but to want to do that because she feels she must is...absurd. He simply won't allow it.

* I know it's a cliche in a lot of these headcanons, that he'd buy perfectly tailored clothes for MC, that he'd purchase the finest, most flattering clothes for her to feel as beautiful as she is in his eyes, but it's true-he would, hell, he'd probably read up on fashion himself so he'd be able to help her pick out outfits. He'd do anything for MC, and that's NOT an exaggeration.

* Plus he'd insist on her going to therapy-I headcanon that after realising his own emotions he'd probably start attending therapy sessions himself, to try and get a better read on his emotions, so he'll be a pretty strong advocate for therapy, and he wants the very best for MC.

Seven:

* HAHAHAHAHAH.

* This man...not only can he absoloutely relate, it's honestly a big reason why their relationship is rocky, to say the least.

* Having two depressed, self-sarificing people who'd rather bury their emotions in the depths of their gut rather than admit emotional vulnerability in a relationship? Yeah, not a good idea.

* He'll be using humour to cope with his depression, trying to get MC to open up instead, whilst MC's just pretending she's Never Had a Negative Thought in her life, trying to get Seven to open up instead. You see the issue, yeah?

* Honestly it'll take a lot of walking on eggshells and dancing around the issue until either one of them breaks down, admitting defeat, or they share an honest, adult conversation about their emotions and about how they both need help-which, realistically speaking, I find quite unlikely to happen.

* Not to say the relationship won't work out-God, Seven wants it to work out so, so much. He'll tell MC he loves her constantly, he'll make it so in order to enter the apartment, she'll need to say one thing she loves about herself each day at the security door before it can be unlocked, he'll do everything in his power to help her with her body issues because he loves her, worships her as is.

* The ideal solution honestly would be someone else from the RFA-Jaehee probably, lol, coming to boink them both over the head and drag them to therapy, both individual and couple's sessions, so they can finally start expressing their emotions to one another in a way that ISN'T memes or self-deprecating humour.

* It'll take a while but-they'll make it work. They love one another too much not to.

V/Jihyun:

* This man. This sweet, sweet man.

* He knows what it's like to be insecure, to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, knows what depression is like, how it takes a hold of you and leaves you a shell of who you once were, or worse-who you could've been.

* He's so attuned to his own emotions, he's learnt to recognise the signs in himself-and ergo can tell when someone else is also suffering, although to what extent, it's not always easy to tell.

* He hates MC feeling this way about herself. He loves her so much, she's the one that pulled him out of his own self-depracating, self-sacrifising depressed state, has helped him seek help and become a better man-he wants to be able to support her too, wants to do everything in his power to help.

* But helping someone who won't even admit there's something wrong...isn't easy. He's so gentle and patient though, and slowly helps tear MC's walls down. He'll never prod too much, will simply..be there for her. Will hug her, run his fingers down her sides. If she squirms away, afraid of him feeling her love handles, he'll simply smile and say he loves her, finds every single thing about her beautiful-he'll purposely trail his hands to said love handles, if she's comfortable with it, looking her straight in the eye when he says "Every part of you, I'm in love with. Please don't take my words lightly."

* If she's up for it, he'd love to photograph her-but it's not easy, when you're so awkward in your own skin, to accept to be viewed through a camera lens. So instead he'll draw her, his sketchbook filled with doodles of her face when she's happy, when she's concentrating, her body as she sleeps, head smooshed into the pillow.

* He'll never push her, letting her take things at her own pace-but he'll be there to aid in every single step

Saeran:

* I know I said it for Seven and V to but...out of everyone, I feel like he'd understand MC's predicament the most. Insecure about his frail body, dealing with the trauma Mint Eye has left him with, trying to combat his demons and anxieties whilst trying to return to being a member of society-he's going through...a lot, to say the least.

* So it's honestly understandable how MC will swallow down her own issues, do her best to support Saeran instead. Will she break in the process? Perhaps. She doesn't care. Not if she can help him in the process.

* Saeran might not notice it initially, too focused on his own issues which-honestly, understandable. It's not everyday you leave a cult after all. But the more he talks with MC, the more he realises she's hiding so much from him, slowly notices how often she forces a smile on her face, how she'll nervously cover her mid-riff with her arms whilst sitting down, how she shies away from attention-

*He's almost never the one to initiate physical affection with her, and she doesn't initiate it much either-but when he does, when he leans in to kiss her and feels her tense he panics, pulls away because-is she reacting this way because she doesn't want him?

* When she explains it's not that, that she loves him and wants to be with him, he'll press the issue, ask her why she'll shy away from him then-not in a mean way, he'll just honestly be so worried, wondering what's wrong and how he could help.

* And when/if MC does tell him about her issues...there's not honestly much he could do. He'll tell her he loves her, that she's beautiful, that her body's a vessel to carry her soul around, and that soul is so wonderful it radiates joy to everyone around her, but he knows how hard it is to believe such words when in this mindset.

* So instead, he suggests they go to therapy together. He knows it's not the easiest thing in the world-but he wants her to get the help she deserves. He'll hold her hand on the way to her first session, will wait outside for her, smiling up at her when she's done.

* Things will slowly get better for the both of them.

-masterpost-

#asks #anon #if you're struggling please please seek help when possible <3 #also im sorry for seven's part lol im just. looking at it realistically it won't be a very feasible relationship #ive been in that position and it doesnt usually bode well orz #fics #fanfics #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mysme #mysme imagine #mystic messenger imagine #mysme reactions #707 #luciel choi #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #mysme unknown #mysme ray #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #jihyun kim

[marshmallowprotection]

[Previous Post]

By his calculation, it was no real surprise that she couldn't remember anything that she'd said to him. 

She had been floating on the edge of elixir and the aftershocks it left in her system, most of what left her lips was nonsensical, at worst. She had far more clarity with her ability to speak but she had been easily distracted and confused if he let her talk without some kind of motivation. 

Ray hadn't even had to pry. It was as if she were a Goddess who truly knew everything. She knew things that Ray had to double check for their authenticity but found she was right every step of the way there. There were things that he would have otherwise had no way to know, but she was right enough for him to put every word to thought. 

She had firm thoughts and opinions, and it was precious to see her get upset over nothing. She would get so inflamed over this or that, but she spoke of the stories of himself and those around him like it was her livelihood. As if the world around them was her everything. 

However, some of her tone needed to be corrected. She spoke highly of much of the RFA, even if she was able to easily proclaim what she saw as a perceived fear or hesitance. He didn't care if she pitied the most of them… he just didn't want her to feel anything for the liar and the traitor. It's why he didn't ask about them. 

But, the rest of the members? 

He had enough information to draw out anything he wanted from them. She even had her own suggestions for what could work on them. He noted it in her phone, where she had been trying to figure out what may bring the RFA to Mint Eye. It was amusing to think she had considered it before meeting him. It was just another reminder that she was meant to be a saint to Mint Eye. 

Setting aside his feelings in knowing that her information had been given to her because of a game, he knew it didn’t matter how she got it. She wielded it with grace and luxury in her hands. She built upon the backs of what she had been handed and made it stronger... she found holes in stories and mended them by her hands. 

"Princess, relax for me," he was as gentle as he could be but she simply hadn't had the time to learn how to sit still. She was coming more and more out of her gaze so she was having such a hard time with her tremors. "I know it's hard. But I need you to look your best today." 

Either way, Ray had what he needed and plans could begin. But, right now, he had something even more important to think of. His Savior wanted to meet the person who would save Paradise with ease, his precious one. He tutted when he felt her squirm underneath his hand, smoothing out the brush against her messy curls as he did. 

Kaitlyn blinked a few times and then looked at the reflection in the mirror. She would see Ray fretting over little things as he did but she hadn’t quite realized how much work he was doing. He had taken great care to make her look exactly as radiant as she was. If they didn't see it before, they would see it in front of the Savior.

He caught her hand before it could touch her hand, and he lowered it back down onto her lap with a tight smile. He spent an awfully long time making her messy curls tighter and consistent. He didn’t want her to mess any of it up because she wasn’t in the state of mind to look at herself just yet. 

She was easily placated, though.

All it’d taken to make her listen to him in the first place was to wrap his coat around her shoulders. She stopped shivering and shaking when he did. It was almost adorable. Compared to the acidic mint and undertones of alcohol within the potion, he imagined the floral scent calmed her down. Aromatherapy was a good idea! If he could’ve taken her back to the garden... 

As the clarity was slowly returning, she seemed like in a daze and more of a frenzy. Her eyes darted all over the place as she strained to figure out where she was and why she was there. He knew that feeling, it happened often as he came out of the buzz that elixir warranted to those that survived the first trial. 

"Why…?" 

"You're meeting with my Savior, remember?" 

He frowned. What did she have to be afraid of? Did she misunderstand how lucky she was? Or, was the elixir still making her fearful to be alone with other people except for him? She would cry out with names that he couldn’t recall or know, after all. She might’ve been scared to make a fool of herself in front of his Savior. 

Something akin to fear flashed in her eyes, “I thought... I thought you said she was okay with us being together, Ray.” 

“Of course! My Savior promised that we’ll be together, but she wants to meet you so our mission can begin. After all, she wants to formally greet you as a true member of paradise! You took the elixir so well, too. It’s amazing. So, she wants you to see our paradise now that you’re able to function properly.” 

She’d seen worse. 

—

“I’m...” 

“A member of paradise,” Rika spoke with resolution. Her emerald eyes flickered over the newcomer, as if sizing her up and trying to figure out the best way to be able to pick her mind apart. “It’s a pleasure to welcome you to Magenta, for the first time, officially. While you must be surprised to be here with you, I must thank you for offering your wisdom and insight to ensure our success.” 

To put it plainly, Rika was searching for something in between the lines. Ray had said over and over that her information knew no bounds but there were parts of it that he couldn’t gain access to quite yet. She knew everything about them and yet, she was devoted to the cause. She had no doubt in her mind after what he’d shown her on that phone. 

She always imagined that she would have to tether Ray with a string to keep him to obey but now she had two tools to use at her disposal. She not only had Ray who worked himself like a dog for the smallest grain of affection, and now, this girl who would do anything for Ray and the paradise that he wanted to hold so badly. 

Photos that couldn’t exist in this world as they existed in quality unlike their own. Information about everything and everyone that nobody was ever meant to get into their hands. Reports and essays that could rival anyone in their terms of control and clarity. Her devotion to Ray was something else, and it could readily be used and manipulated. 

An idealistic young woman who believed in empathy and shining love. She was a realist but her romantic heart could sway her to be bent easily. It reminded her much of herself before she realized her true potential. A shining light was easy to capture as long as you had the right tools. 

Then, she would finally feel the light of salvation. 

This could be a useful love. 

Love built upon obsession that came from sincere bonds. Unlike the way that her former flame had done. His love had burned and devoured every part of her heart and now... she could take back her precious family from his clutches and wave this love in his face. She could use it, she could use them, and she was going to do so.

Though, Ray seemed to have dosed her with more than she expected. Her eyes still looked glossy even though she had enough clarity to realize the situation at hand. Her hand nervously fiddled with the fabric of the borrowed coat she wore, as her eyes darted left to right, not wanting to meet Rika’s gaze. 

No matter, it was a delight either way to see things working. 

Though this girl was taller than she was, she paid no mind, resting her hand against her shoulder to catch her attention. “You don’t need to worry about a thing. You’ve proven your capability already with your charming perspective, I must say, you’re a delightful read when you tear people down. You’ve seen the things I’ve always overlooked.” 

“Ah, I...” Kaitlyn murmured. It was a small nod to indicate that she’d heard what Rika said. “I... I like to study people, it’s a hobby... I’m not that great for what it's worth.” 

Oh. 

An insecurity. 

“Ray has shown me otherwise. Your words will be the very thing that save my precious mistreated family. I’m interested to hear more about what you think we should do. After all, someone as devoted as you can only know talent. Trust me, I know skill when I see it. I welcome it to our paradise because we need people like you.”

“...Thank you, Savior,” the words seemed foreign against her lips but she had managed to catch herself in time. She seemed to be good in print but in need with her actual words. “I... I’m thankful you see it that way. I’m...  I’m happy you have welcomed me.”

Rika’s attention shifted back to Ray. He seemed to be eyeing his plaything with a serious fever in his eyes. It could’ve been a problem, but... as long as she knew that this infatuation was going to secure paradise, she would allow it. It wasn’t as if they would be able to turn away from their promised future. It was a given, and Ray would never let go of it, now. 

She smiled. 

What a frightened little rabbit. 

“Ray, be a dear and see to it that she’s comfortable. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us if we want to achieve our goals within the next few months... aren’t you pleased it won’t take years to succeed now? All you’ve ever wanted, you’ve got it in your grasps. Don’t lose sight of that,” her voice was clear. “To get what you want, you must never look away from what’s ahead. No matter how ugly it seems. After all, I have a strong feeling that our dear Kaitlyn will have them on their knees soon enough.” 

His expression changed with that. His lips curled upward and he nodded, his way of saying he understood. The bloodlust in his eyes... now, that was what she wanted to hold onto. As long as he behaved, as long as he kept his dream ahead, paradise would thrive, and she would have what she wanted. Jihyun on his hands and knees, begging for mercy. 

And she’d snap him like a twig for thinking she’d given him a chance after what he did. 

Rika stepped back and Ray stepped forward. He took her by the hand and let her gaze into his eyes, that cloudy look leaving him as he played the role that he wanted. Pity, he wanted to be a prince when he was better suited for something else. Well, in due time, she thought. 

“I’ll begin preparations, my Savior. For eternal paradise.” 

“For eternal paradise, my children.”

#self insert #danger ray #drabble #mod kait

[wings-of-a-storm]

You said in your last ask about Victor telling Benji he loves him:

“It came after watching his boyfriend sleeping, the morning after Benji had been so understanding and reassuring about Victor's fears of inexperience. Victor seemed so grateful for that and touched by it.”

Do you think it changes anything in episode 7 when Benji uses Victor’s inexperience to criticize him and say it’s shit he has to put up with from Victor? Could that have affected Victor’s overall feelings for Benji? Because as you said, Victor has a lot of fear and insecurity surrounding being new to the gay thing. I feel like that, combined with the issues with Isabel, could definitely have an impact. When his boyfriend acted one way then made it clear he actually felt the exact opposite, idk how I would feel in that situation. But I think it definitely could have left some lasting damage and fester in the back of his mind.

A very interesting question, Anon!

It was a pretty heavy fight, so some part of it (hurt feelings etc) would have to linger, realistically? I’m not sure to what degree that would linger in the long-term though.

That big fight was a compact whirlwind of shock and messy emotions that only lasted for a few hours, overall. Like a very bad dream. And then the emotions started to shift back into a softer place in the near aftermath, reaching a kinder equilibrium of sorts when Victor talks to Felix -- a third party -- and hears a different perspective on might have caused such a brutal lashing out from Benji.

Victor goes as far as asking to see Benji straight after Felix calms him, and sort of panic-apologises to Benji because he starts to understand that other perspective. And luckily, Victor’s stress is visibly further reduced when Benji explains he didn’t actually mean what he said and it was just his way of lashing out in a freak-out to hide his own embarrassment of AA.

That type of fight is so common -- we’ve all done that to someone, even Victor in the next ep -- and so I think it would be understandable and believable for Victor that Benji is being sincere that he didn’t actually mean the things he said about Victor and it was just the heat of the moment. Or at the very most, they’re half-truths with specific context behind them. So after Victor hears Benji’s explanation for his outburst, I’d like to think that any damage Benji did to Victor’s insecurities would have at least been reduced under that bigger picture.

I know what you mean though about looking at a partner differently when you see a nastier side to them -- that they could recognise your insecurities and use it as a weapon against you in a fight to push the heat off themselves isn’t a great quality, no.

At the same time though, that sort of irrational, explosive fight doesn’t mean a person’s 100% authentic true feelings are revealed -- “I’ve put up with a ton of your sh**” has a similar energy to Victor’s “Your meaningless opinions”, which were both phrases used to bite but are not absolute truths. In a calmer, more rational state of mind they may be half-truths but with enough grey to be understandable and not deal-breakers once unpacked.

If anything, these half-truths reveal that both boys aren’t completely honest with each other in order to avoid conflict -- Benji wasn’t upfront about how Victor’s situation had been accumulating a lot of stress over time for him, and Victor wasn’t upfront about the cultural sensitivities that made him need to go slow with his mother at all costs. For example, Rahim’s conversation with Victor about Benji being too ‘white’ to understand a POC’s homelife context was a wonderful insight for non-POCs to start to learn the differences but at no point did Victor actually try to explain that to Benji. Benji isn’t a mind-reader and he isn’t even allowed into Isabel’s inner sanctum to observe how the homelife context works, so how is he supposed to understand why Victor is handling his coming out so differently, you know?

Going forward, both boys really need to try working on communicating their feelings with each other better -- whether as friends or more. (But I think that is something pretty much every viewer howls at their screens when watching any TV show ever, haha.)

But back to your original question: I think it is hard to know just how much Benji’s cutting remarks would have affected Victor in the long-term. That fight did reveal that Benji isn’t always completely upfront with how he is really feeling, and that could create some doubts/wariness/trust issues, yeh. It’s not all necessarily bad though -- it also revealed that even if Benji hides some of his inner-most feelings from Victor, he did so in order to be supportive of Victor and try to reduce Victor’s stress load. Those omissions occurred as a good intention because Benji was willing to forego his own stress in order to protect Victor (however misguided that may have become, especially when passive-aggression leaked out). It’s not a healthy way to handle things for sure, but it does show good qualities amongst the bad. I’d like to think Victor recognised that in his talk with Felix.

So I guess that fight has the potential to have left a bit of damage in Victor’s heart, but not necessarily to a huge degree? It’s rather hard to know without being completely in Vicor’s head/heart…

#LV ask #Love Victor #LV S2 analysis #Venji