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enwoso · 9 days

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FORGOTTEN - alessia russo

*this has been sitting in my drafts forever, it’s a bit of a longer one, some angst but happy ending, also pls imagine arsenal were in the champions league knock stages for the sake of the plot🙏🏻*

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as her front door opened the first thing you did was practically through yourself at her, arms around her neck as your mouth presses soft to hers and you being eager after not seeing the blonde for over a month which only came to haunt you hours later.

alessia had kissed you back with just as much enthusiasm, of course she did, it was knee jerk reactions but once you finally pulled away and met her gaze as she was stood frozen still with a blank look on her face - a picture of total confusion.

"what are you doing here? why didn't you tell me you were coming? i'd have picked you up from the train station." you thought she was joking when she first said it, waiting for a teasing smile to curl at the corner of her lips as she tapped her fingers under your chin and kisses your cheek, while mumbling a 'i'm kidding - i missed you'

but she didn't - her head instead cocked to the side a little.

her gaze catching a glimpse of the roses you were holding as her brow crinkled even more, "what are the flowers for?" she asked. you blinked at her slow and unsure.

still trying to figure out if she was teasing you or not but her face gave you the answer, her face was blank as her eyes took in your form.

you looked down at the roses before looking back at the blonde almost as if you had forgotten about the flowers you had bought mere minutes before knocking on her door.

a feeling of something similar to dread beginning to boil low in your stomach as a heat crept up your neck, a one that felt a lot like humiliation as you wondered if the joke had been lost on alessia and she actually wasn't interested in the stupid bunch of roses.

"you." pressing them into her chest as you watched closely as her fingers wrapped carefully around the stems.

"i mean,, i obviously didn't just get you flowers, your other gifts are in my suitcase but i was at the train station and as i was waiting for a taxi there was a little florist and i remembered you always teasing me about how your always the one to send me flowers and i never send them back to.. you" the last word coming almost out as a whisper from you as it happened so quickly.

a wave of realisation hit alessias face as your words registered to her as the pit that fell deep in your chest when you understood her expression. pulling your head back and letting your hand drop from where it was settled on her waist and swallowed through the lump that had settled in your throat

"you've forgotten haven't you." plain and simple.

alessia had forgotten about your two year anniversary, she had clearly forgotten your plans to spend the weekend together that you had planned months in advance which she ensured you she had made sure nothing was in her schedule that would disrupt said plans.

but here you were standing like an idiot in her doorway with a bunch of roses and gifts you had spent months perfecting.

tension was building in her hallway as alessia's blues eyes were soft with guilt and regret. her mouth tipped with your worried lines and the only motion you seemed to be able to find was shaking your head as well as a disbelieving huff of laughter breaking the thick silence like a knife.

"you forgot didn't you? that it was our anniversary? that i was coming?" you could feel the pressure which was building behind your eyes, the hot flush and the sting of fear as you dig your nails into your palms to keep them at bay, willing yourself not to cry.

it was silly really but you had spent the entire train ride from manchester to london as well as the short car ride from the station thinking about finally seeing her, finally being in the comfort of her arms again and she has t even been bothered to remember the date.

you hadn't thought to remind her, hell you didn't think you would need to. she had assured you so many times that the date was marked in her calendar and that she would make sure she didn't have anything booked for that day. but maybe you should have sent her a heads up text.

"i didn't, no-not on purpose" alessia swallowed, setting the roses down on the small table beside her front door and taking a step towards you. her hands over her face as she rubbed her jaw. "i knew when it was, fuck i know when our anniversary is!"

"oh really?"

"i had the plans, i was gonna book the restaurant that you like to go to when you come down and take you to the new museum that opened up in town cause i made sure i didn't go with the arsenal girls cause i wanted to take you there first as you and i bought your gifts-"

"and what after all that planning, it still just suddenly slipped your mind?" you say bluntly taking alessia by surprise by your sudden coldness towards her.

"no! it's not like-"

"how do you forget something like that?"

"i've been busy with-"

"you're not the only one who has a busy schedule alessia! i have a life too, for fuck sake i do the same job as you and i still managed to remember our anniversary!" there was a hitch in your voice as well as a tremble to match the wobble of your bottom lip and this time it was alessia shaking her head she reached out trying to cup your cheek. only wincing when you jerked away from her touch.

"i've just been so distracted with training and the barcelona match, we play on wednesday and my head just been a mess. we've been working non stop, ive not nearly had enough time to do anything - it's all ive been thinking about. there's so much pressure on the me and the team and it's just taken over my whole life this past week!"

her hand fell tucking it away inside of her jogger bottoms which were plastered with an arsenal logo and the number 23, a way to stop herself from reaching for you again.

you could see the clear tension in her shoulders, a clear apology and pain in the way she was looking at you but you weren't sure how to actually accept it, you didn't know how to stop the ache that was ever so present inside of your chest. "i'm sorry"

"i know how important this match is to you, and i know how much work and effort you out in and i'm so incredibly proud of you, you have no idea but.."

"but what?"

"i thought i was important to you"

"no, don't do that" alessia began shaking her head as a evident frown appeared as she watched you quickly swipe your fingers beneath your eyes. "don't make out that i don't care about you or that i care less about you then football - you know that's not true."

"you forgot our anniversary because of a match, alessia! that's says a lot."

"and i’ve said im sorry! i lost track of the days not of you! i got too in my head and didn't realise. this isn't- this has nothing to do with how i feel about you. i love you and that you're the most important thing in my life, you know that but i just-" her voice began to crack and she made a face, taking a step back from you when she realised you were on the other side of the door.

your suitcase knocked over from your earlier eagerness to wrap yourself around the blonde. "i made a mistake" the blonde admitted, it coming out as a whisper as she fiddled with the rings on her fingers.

"it's a pretty big mistake." your cheeks were now wet but you weren't sure when you'd actually began to cry or when your stomach began to feel funny, that feeling of being in a free fall with the sleeve of your hoodie. you wiped over you face as you let your gaze fall to point over alessia's shoulder.

"people don't just forget things as big as this because of their job. relationships aren't supposed to feel second best."

"i've said i was sorry, i can make it up to you. i'll make the dinner reservations now and we can go to the museum tomorrow - you know i didn't mean to forget, i wouldn't have forgotten something like this if everything going on wasn't so chaotic!" the blonde sighed, pulling out her phone, probably to make the reservation for the restaurant but you began to talk again stopping her in her tracks as she looked at you dead in the eyes.

"maybe that isn't enough" you needed her to stop looking at you - needing some space to cry so you could get rid of the hurt, anger and embarrassment that had crawled onto your skin.

wanting also nothing more than to push the roses into the bin in her kitchen because looking at them were making the tears build even quicker.

"c'mon love, please i'm sorry. you have to let me try-"

"i don't have to let you do anything."

you probably sounded childish and maybe your reaction was, she had apologised and explained and maybe deep down you did understand but in the moment all you felt was anger. she had hurt you, making you feel as though you and your relationship was easily forgettable.

there was a breakdown building inside of you and as stupid as it may sound - the last place you wanted it to happen was in front of her.

"y/n" she spoke softly, as you sniffed and turned a blank expression at her. "i don't want to talk about it anymore. you forgot, you're sorry, no biggy right?"

"that's not what i said and you know it, let me fix it.. please."

"it's whatever" you mumbled moving your way towards your suitcase, tugging it into the house as you awkwardly pushed the door closed and moved you way around alessia's body. the blonde reaching out for you arm but you tugged it away - throwing a look toward the flowers. "you can just throw them in the bin, t'was a stupid idea anyway."

"y/n, baby."

"don't-" the sigh that escaped your lips was watery, the tears starting to fall again now that you were no longer facing your girlfriend. "can you just leave me alone?"

you hadn't spoken since then, both of you annoyed. you were embarrassed and hurt and alessia was riddled with stomach sinking guilt which she was unsure of how to get rid of.

she was avoiding the bedroom and likewise you were avoiding the living room which was a hard task considering she needed to use the bathroom and you need to use the kitchen. but with each passing it was met with a awkward silence - neither of you clearly ready to talk.

it was unlike the two of you. you rarely every fought and even if you did it would be over something silly like who had missed the other the most and would be resolved within an hour being brushed away with many breathy i love yous and mumbling apologies.

but this was different and not something that was small or stupid and couldn't simply be forgotten about because alessia had made you laugh.

she had forgotten your two year anniversary, forgetting that you had been due to visit her after being apart for a little over a month - this being the only time you both had off since you were still playing at manchester united and she had left to join arsenal.

the hurt that had unfolded in your chest as the image of her blank look reappeared in your head was nauseating.

embarrassment taking over you as the moment replays over and over in your head. you felt ridiculous standing there on her front step, roses in your hand that you had bought for her as it had always been a very long going joke between the two of you that you never returned the favour, hanging limp at her side.

it now being a little after four am and you were yet to find any sleep, the soft hum of traffic on the streets of london as a small breeze hit your hands creating small goose bumps on your hands.

your gaze glued to the street lights and cars which drove slowly down the street - each one having their own story. only blinking when the coldness of the air hit your eyes making them water.

her bed felt uncomfortable and cold - hence why you were sat outside on the small balcony at four in the morning. the lack of the blondes warmth was very noticeable as you had spent the entire night tossing and turning - huffing in annoyance and readjusting your pillow at least 25 times.

you wondered if she was still awake, still mulling over the afternoons fight - if she was feeling as bad as you did going to sleep on an argument after spending the whole day not talking.

it was now almost morning and you were missing not being pressed up against her, missing the way her head would be resting against your chest as she kept your hand intertwined with hers. there was no point trying to go to sleep so with a huff you pulled yourself from the floor of the balcony and pulled a discarded hoodie from the floor over your head.

for a few seconds you simply pressed your nose against the fabric of the collar, her scent of strawberry shower gel and perfume still lingering. tickling your senses and making your tummy dip once again.

it was stupid how you could miss someone so much when you were only a few apart.

you were still mad, annoyed and hurt that something so important has slipped her mind but you did understand the pressure she was under while still trying to prove herself at arsenal. you wanting to forget that yesterday had happened and spent the weekend the way you'd originally planned.

but you were too stubborn and even more so when you were hurt and so instead of finding your blonde lover in the living room and cuddling yourself against her. you instead made your way to the kitchen, your sock covered feet barely making a sound.

the living room was dark beside the tv where the low hum of a film was making it difficult for you to hear if alessia was sleeping or not. but taking her lack of movement as a sign that she was, you carefully made your way past her. flicking the switch to turn the kitchen light in with a slight wince.

the first thing your eyes were drew to once they adjusted to the bright light was the roses, placed neatly in a vase on the kitchen counter - the protective wrapping gone and your throat suddenly went tight alongside a fresh set of tears prickling your eyes.

the flowers had been an impulse were an impulse buy, an inside joke which turned bitter when you realised it had gone over alessia's head but still she had set them out for everyone to see.

the second thing was that she had left your favourite mug beside the coffee machine, everything prepped and ready for you to use, a clear indication that despite your lack of communication the night before, she had clearly been thinking about you.

both were small gestures, meaningless really on a bigger scale but they had your heart squeezing tight with a small smile tipping at the corner of your lips - the first once since you had arrived.

while you were waiting for the coffee machine to heat up you rearranged the roses, an unnecessary task but was really just to keep your mind from wanting to alessia.

if you thought about her you'd probably begin to cry again, your emotions still getting the better of you but as if she knew you were subconsciously thinking of her she appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

her pink silk pyjama bottoms were slung low on her hips, a black hoodie covering her top half - the strings different lengths and was something that drove you crazy and taking everything inside you not to go and fix the strings with careful fingers, to press your lips to her chin.

her blue eyes were rimmed with dark circles, tired and dull and no doubt a mirror image of your own appearance and an obvious indication she hadn't slept either.

her blue eyes darting between you and the rose petal you were rubbing between your fingers. "they weren't a stupid idea"

the coffee machine began to splutter behind you, hissing a little with age and without replying you spun to make your drink. alessia's gaze sticking to your back and you could feel it as you added a coffee pod to the machine and slotted your cup beneath the spout.

without realising you reached for alessia's own mug, it being a habit of muscle memory alone and took out a vanilla late pod from the box on the side.

"look i know it doesn't matter how many times i say sorry, i know it doesn't make it any better but i am forgetting was a shitty move and football isn't an excuse but you have to know that it wasn't because of you. i think about you constantly when your not down in london, everything i look at here reminds me of you but this has been the week from hell and I've let everything get on top of me, and i'm so incredibly sorry."

her voice was thick with emotion, a harsh scratch to her usually honey sweet voice that made your insides ache. you knew she was sorry and you knew she's try anything in her power to make up for it and you also knew that your silence was slowly eating her alive as the hours went on but you weren't exactly sure what to say.

you weren't sure if you could say anything without getting upset again. instead you settled for grabbing a spoon, keeping your gaze locked in your coffee.

"tesoro." alessia was only a few feet behind you. "you can't ignore me forever"

"i can try."

"yeah?" she settled against the counter at your side back pressed into the cupboard and regarded you with lowered lashes.

you didn't meet her gaze, only swapping the old coffee pod for her new one and slipped her mug where you'd had previously been, an action which didn't go unnoticed by alessia.

"what about when you need something off the top shelf?" she said trying her best to crack your silence, but the only noise being made was the tinkling of the spoon you were using against the sides of your mug.

alessia sighed, "hey, look at me." her fingers hesitantly found your face, unsure if you were just going to move out of her reach but you didn't. her soft touch against your jaw as she tilted your head up until your gaze finally found hers. her brows crinkling in concern.

"i'm sorry, okay? and i'll continue to say it as many times as i need to until you forgive me. i know this isn't something small and i know i’ve hurt you and i hate that, you know you always come first and above anything and anyone else and i'm sorry if i made you feel like that wasn't my intention"

her thumb brushed over the skin beneath your eye and it was impossible not to turn your cheek into her palm, seeking comfort in her touch. "it's not an excuse, but i've nearly had anything to do but train and it just slipped my mind what this weekend was - but that doesn't mean you or our relationship are ever second best. i love you so much, just-just please let me make it up to you"

the coffee machine beeped when alessia's coffee was finished but not one of you made a move to grab it, gazes locked in a heated stare, one that was unfurling a hundred different emotions inside of you.

she looked unsure, worried that you may turn away from her, that this weekend was going to be spent in silence and that you were going to leave on bad terms. the longer you stared at her the more her face seemed to relax.

"let me fix it please"

"it was a shitty thing to do and it hurts"

"i know and im-"

"but i don't want to fight, i’m no in way saying it's okay or that it doesn't feel any less like shit but i know the amount of pressure you put yourself under and i know that this match is important to you." you fianlly allowed your hand to rise to her shoulder and pull at the strings of her hoodie making them the same length, fingers grazing the warm skin of her neck.

knowing this relationship is important too.

"you're important to me me." alessia brought your fingers to her mouth, pressing a series of soft kisses over your knuckles. "i know it doesn't make up for it but i really did have everything planned"

"it's okay."

"it's not and you know it's not" she tipped your hand, palm up and skimmed her mouth over the centre her eyes locked on yours. "but i want to fix it, if you'll let me. i have the day fee - i can book the restaurant and we can go to the museum and do whatever you want, i know it won't be the same but.. please"

there was a note of desperation in her tone and it was only then that you realised how close she'd drawn you to her, your bodies almost pressed flush together. you knew the full ache in your chest wasn't going to disappear immediately but you also knew alesssia was sincere in her apologies and in her determination to things right and it was obvious that despite yesterdays anger you wanted to spend today with her.

"i'm still mad at you."

"i know, i deserve it."

"but i've missed you."

alessia gave you a little nod, slipping her hand around the back of your neck her thumb brushed back and forth over the skin beneath your hoodie.

"i've missed you too, i promise today will make up for it!" her breath fanned warm over your lips and you hadn't even realised you'd filled your mouth towards her. the hurt that had been wedged in your chest was beginning to lift and being replaced with a burning need to have her arms around you.

it had only been hours but you felt her absence like a lost limb, a need blooming deep inside your bones to be pressed flush against her.

"i think you can start by kissing me."

"that i can do!"

alessia smirked slightly, bending her head and using her hand that was already in your neck to pull you in and close her mouth over yours. the kiss was soft and slow, a gentle drag of her lips over yours. the sweet and languid stoke of her tongue when you opened your mouth and angled in closer.

the tips of her fingers grazed your jaw and then she was cupping your cheeks and pressing your back into the counter, tugging lightly at your bottom lip before returning to kissing you.

heat trickled thick like honey down your spine, your hands fisting the material of her black hoodie tugging her impossibly closer before you wound your arms around her waist.

you didn't want to stop kissing her. you wanted to stay in this moment forever wanted to keep swallowing the sound she was making low in her throat until you were dizzy off them but alessia had other ideas. pressing a few single kisses to you mouth, her blue orbs opening and licking to yours - a gaze a lot lighter then when she first walked into the kitchen.

"i bought you a gift. for yesterday, it's been in my drawer for months and i spent the whole night staring at it thinking i wasn't going to have the chance to give you it"

she kissed the corner of your mouth and then your forehead before letting her hands drop from your face, once of them reaching into the pocket of her hoodie.

"i got it made at this jewellers when we were in australia, i thought it would maybe be a small piece of me that you could have with you even if we are not together" she blinked, sending you a sheepish smile as she pulled a little box, holding it between you and the palm of her hand.

"it probably silly but i remember you saying while we were in australia that you wanted a new necklace, one that you could wear all the time so-"

"lessi." you cut through her rambling with a soft laugh, letting your gaze dart down towards the box.

"huh? oh- sorry, here open it" doing as she said, you took the small box from her. lifting the top and revealing a thin gold chain and a tiny dainty gold charm - the number 23 sat pretty in the box, no bigger than the size of your pinky nail. a rush of emotions shifting through you, a small smile breaking out across your face as you fingers grazed over it.

"thought it might be nicer than my initial"

"it's beautiful"

"i love you, and yesterday- yesterday was stupid and i loyalty fucked up but it wasn't because of my feelings for you" alessia swallowed thickly, the worried crinkle had returned back between her brows but you were quick in lifting your head and pressing a reassuring kiss to her mouth.

"i know - and not because of the necklace but because of everything else you do for me, yesterday was a mistake and i know you love me and i love you, so much. what happened wasn't going to change that" you smiled softly and with your free hand grazed your fingers across her jaw before settling your hand against the back of her neck, pulling her softly into another kiss.

you let the kiss speak for its self and say everything you hadn't already, putting all your love and adoration into it. making sure that alessia knew how you felt and that you weren't going to let yesterday become a roadblock on your relationship.

feeling her hands on your waist beneath your hoodie, her finger tips warm as she gripped you, pulling you closer. the necklace was still in the palm of your hand, alessia realising this when she felt the edge of the box jab her in her stomach. the blonde pulling back, settling her forehead against yours.

"i love you, la mia bella ragazza"

"i love you, lessi."

liked by ellatoone and 894,107 others

alessia one year down, forever left to go❤️ i love you tesoro

comments -

yourusername forever? i have to put up with your clumsiness forever!

49m 125 likes reply

-> alessia i’m not that bad!

ellatoone i see how it is, cutting me out of the first photo!

1h 140 likes reply

-> alessia that wasn’t me!

-> ellatoone yeah yeah🙄

millieturner my favourites🥹

1h 98 likes reply

-> yourusername we love you🩷

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abbyonmars · 5 months

Text

cw; fem!reader, mentions of sex, swearing.

wc: 1.7k. angst/fluff.

this is also kinda toxic imo sorry x

ellie can't won't sleep without having you in her arms.

but since the sun's setting your evening looked like hours of waiting for her. spamming her phone, chewing unsparingly at your already short and mutilated nails, heart beating relentlessly in your chest — all in result of each rapid thought that gushed through the boundless blackhole that was your worried mind, and the ceaseless growing pit of anxiety that dropped to endless oblivion in your stomach.

she had told you before she left that she would be back by 7:00pm to watch that movie she promised to watch with you. the one in which being the sequel to your favourite franchise, as well as it being the movie you had been begging her to come see with you for weeks. not only this, but it also happened to be your one year anniversary with her; you had spent so much time and effort to weave in a plethora of sentiments like dinner and gifts that you thought she would like and so patiently, you sat cross-legged on your side of the bed like the good, loyal girlfriend you were, waiting for her to come home.

and since hours before, you had been dolled up and ready to see her. your hair was intricately made, glitter was tapped to your eyelids — and underneath your tightly hugging button up and the thin fabric of your skirt laid a set of pretty pink lacy lingerie you were excited to surprise her with later.

but you were sat there for hours. you watched the clock turn from 7:00pm to 8, 8:00 to 9. but 9:00pm turned to 10, which soon turned into 12am and yet, no ellie.

some would argue that this isn't such a deal. you could claim your own indifference — just tuck yourself in, indulge in that perpetual doom-scroll before you fall asleep. you could just ask about her whereabouts in the morning, just don't make this such a big thing. she probably just happened to have too much fun.

however, this has happened one too many times, too many times for you to count. making in advance plans only to have her screw you over without word, continuously coming home to you with the same and overused, pathetic excuses that always resulted in an argument and tears — notwithstanding the heated make-up sex she'd treat you to in order to to ease her 'guilt' and to compensate for her assholery that day.

but this time you decided you were tired of waiting. you didn't feel like having that habitual screaming match at whatever time she'd decide to come home that night and you knew that whatever you did, you would always end up in the same predicament that was reimbursing your forgiveness, despite constantly being treated similar to the dirt barred between the crevices in her converse soles.

'she can do whatever she wants.' you tried to reassure yourself; after all, no one was there to do it for you. why fret? 'i'm not her mother. i don't control her.'

with your back turned to her side of the bed, you tried your best to fall asleep, watching the moon's gentle spill of light from the glass window of the room with half-shut eyes. for now, you were at some state of serenity, finding solace in the teasing winks of twinkling stars and small snippets of the wind's light whistles.

you'd been half-asleep for longer than you thought, merely lost in your absent thoughts about anything but her. but soon, it wasn't just you and the moon — interruption came by the creaking of the bedroom door along with the obnoxiously bright and artificial light that forced itself in through the crack of the entrance. by then you knew she was back, but you remained still and seemingly unstirred by her entry.

"babe," she whispered, her enunciation almost blending in with the wind's breeze. "you awake?"

but you stayed silent. no longer watching the darkened skies, you froze, shutting your eyes without any utterance and really tried to fall asleep that time — a few moments had passed, and your mind had eventually come to being on the brink of unconsciousness, almost derailed of its endless foreboding.

you shouldn't have gotten used to the feeling of your head no longer spinning, nor the induced tranquillity by being solitary. because once you felt the bed dip in next to you, your stomach was suddenly in knots all over again. all the progress towards the settlement you were better off with was expeditiously diminished, and all from hearing a singular sigh from the girl next to you.

although you tried your best to contain it, a sole tear happened to roll down your reddened cheeks, and a small sniffle was made from your allegedly sleeping peace.

"baby," she breathed, sliding her cold hands onto your bare shoulder, "you're awake - listen, i'm sorry i didn't call, or—"

with an abrupt movement you turned to face her with wrinkled eyebrows and a scrunched face, lips turned downward into a lip-bitten frown and with eyes that turned glassy instantaneously. she met you now with a similar looking frown as she eyed the fresh dampness of your cheeks, her stomach now swirling with shame.

"where were you?" you rasped. you took in a sharp and shaking breath, watching the way her blinking green eyes bored back into yours. "where were you?"

"i'm sorry," she answered, her voice quietening to a murmur upon seeing your eyes roll in response. "i just lost track of time—"

you scoffed. letting out a dry chuckle, you swallowed down the lump that threatened to form in your throat, well aware of the one also forming in hers. "we had plans. don't you care about me?"

with that, her eyes widened as she instantly sat up, and her voice all of a sudden grew louder in her attempt to defend herself.

"what? of - of course i care about you, y/n. i just—"

"you just, what?" you huffed, sitting up next to her. "you just - lost your phone? couldn't get away? or did you just.. forget? because, i wouldn't be surprised if you did, since—"

"jesus, will you just let me talk?" she muttered exasperatedly, bringing up a hand to rub her temples with her thumb and first two fingers. "y'know, you're always jumping to these ridiculous excuses. just let me explain."

"fuck, i wonder why," you sighed. sarcastically smiling, you leaned forward to your knees, delving your face into the palms of your hands. "do you even know what today was?"

she blinked. she let a beat of silence pass, her mouth being slightly hung open with a sort of blank cluelessness. "... w-what?"

and came another scoff from you and weak tears slipping from your orbs, you responded, "our anniversary. our one year, together."

as if she couldn't feel or look any worse than she did now, blood drew from her face, bestowing upon her freckled cheeks the palest you have ever seen her look. she withdrew a quiet breath, sliding her narrow fingers up her neck and over her mouth as she payed mind to the growing disappointment on your face.

you waited for any development of voice, but alas, to nothing. you bit your lip, muttering a quiet, 'forget it' as you turned over to lay on your side, and your head plunged back into the sinking air of your pillow as you pulled the duvet up to cover the shivers upon your bare neck.

she sighed. sliding her hand back onto your shoulder in a forbearing attempt to get you to turn back to her, she gritted her teeth and her hand moved away once you shook her off, only tucking yourself tighter into the covers.

"go to sleep, ellie," you muttered, sniffling once more.

"baby — please. you are so important to me."

"sleep."

forthwith, ellie grew tense. her other hand shot up to nervously rub at the lobe of her ear as she continued to plead with you, but having unsuccessfully drawn any sort of amenable answer she eventually gave up, deciding that she'd push for some stage of absolution of the sort in the morning.

but having barely endured the unresponsiveness from you, the next half hour was spent restlessly by the girl; within short intervals she kept shuffling an uncomfortable amount in her space, consequently perturbing you each time. it took quite an ounce of strength not to tell her to stop because you knew that if you took action, she'd take it as an initiative to talk again.

yet unknowingly, you were in that same dilemma. your side of the bed felt particularly colder than normal, and your heart spiked with something other than your determining stubbornness — suddenly, you no longer felt consoled by the room's solitude from earlier. even with her next to you, you couldn't have felt more alone.

"y/n," she whispered. "i know you're awake."

you sniffed. shuffling slightly in place, the warmth that you were well accustomed to gradually felt like it moved closer to your own body, and you felt the light graze of her fingers once more, skimming gently along your arm.

"please," she breathed. "angel, i- i can't sleep. let me touch you."

a moment's hesitance happened to come alongside a huff that indicated you finally caving into her touch. without turning you reached for her hand and you threw it around your waist, squeezing your eyes shut in slight regret and yet, ease.

letting out a small sigh of relief, she tightened her hold around your torso and pressed your back up to the front of her body. her hand moved to the dip of your hip and stayed there, and you could feel her heart racing against you — somehow, even after the torment she unintentionally put you through, your own stomach swarmed with butterflies and the tension within you dissipated almost in an instant.

"thank you," she mumbled, lips lingering around the crook of your neck. she moved your hair aside, planting soft kisses up the skin of your tensed shoulder and to your ear.

"i'll make it up to you," her warm breath hit your skin and tickled the back of your ear, the rasping of her low voice sending a different ray of knots into your stomach. "i promise."

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

hii i'm back

i hope you're all well :')

pls let this be a (very poor) reminder to not let anybody treat you less than you're worth. if this happened to hit home, i'm sorry — know that whatever you've been through, you are worthy of love and respect. please don't think otherwise

#ellie williams #lesbian #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #tlou2 #the last of us 2 #the last of us part 2 #tlou ellie #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #wlw

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chaoticloving · 9 months

Text

Yacht

Harry styles x actress!reader

Summary: Harry worries something is wrong during a family trip to Italy, turns out your just horny

Warning: sex to get pregnant lol

Italy, it was always Italy.

As two high profile A-listers, Harry Styles and Y/n Y/L/N-Styles could never go anywhere without being caught. Once in the car, another in the street, and of course at concerts and premieres.

Vacation was another highly intense time for the couple, but it was only amped up to the max because of the Love on Tour's ending.

The night of the final show, Harry had his wife, mum, and sister in his dressing room. As the tour has lasted literal years, he figured he owed everyone some sort of gift: gift giving was his love language. He got the lovely couple of the band, Sarah and Mitch, and the little love-bug, a couple of odd-ball things he knew they would all like. He got similar items for the rest of the crew, personalizing them for the recipient.

His wife though, along with his mum and sister, he believed were owed some time with him. Call him selfish but Harry really did miss being with his family, and it was clear from the thousands of messages and voicemails that they all missed him deeply too. So he figured, why not Italy?

Italy is his go to place for relaxing, despite the constant paparazzi, it was quite peaceful when out in the water or in his shared home. Not only that, but his mother truly adores the country and the history; he feels he owes it to her for putting up with all of his shenanigans when he was younger, he knows he wasn't as easy as Gemma was, and stardom really did exacerbate it. But he's better now--Y/n has whipped him into shape--and he's wealthy enough to go to Italy as much as Anne wants.

Gemma just loves the opportunity to gossip with Y/n, along with the chance to sun bathe on the yacht. She was a simple person to please, and would be appreciative for a coffee and croissant.

Y/n, though, his love, isn't one that can be shown love to through gifts, at least expensive gifts. Her net worth is the same as his, but beside all of that, she is extermly picky about what she wants. All of her brithday gifts are something she specifically told Harry, from brand to color, nothing was left for interpretation.

He thought the vaction would be good though. Y/n likes the quality time between them, how they could just be themselves with nothing stopping them.

The yacht was a perfect hit though. Anne and Gemma both loved the salty breeze of the mederterain sea, but he didn't think it was enough for Y/n. He needed something that was more of a wow factor.

Harry was nervous, biting his nails as he took Y/n down to the docks for a midnight boat outing. He planned this a bit ago, but now was second guessing the whole ordeal.

"I love the smell of Italy." Harry said, holding his hand with his wife. "Something about it...just isn’t it perfect?"

"Is it the cigarette smoke?" Y/n joked, sneaking a quick peak at the corner of Harry's mouth. "Why are you taking me to the docks?"

Harry cleared his throat. "A midnight trip since I wanted some one on one time with you."

They had reached the docks by now, and were slowly getting on. He felt Y/n's hands get tighter around his hand, squeezing every now and then while the life guard was untying the rope connecting the yacht.

Harry looked over to his wife, watching her to make sure she was enjoying herself. She was looking beautiful, hair down while her face was pointed up, looking at the night sky's stars. Her outfit was loose, a simple dress that she threw on after showering to get the sea off of her. It was one he picked out long ago, around their 6 month anniversary, and it was still beautiful.

Her wedding ring completed the look though.

A beautiful antique ring, one that looked as though it was carefully preserved throughout history, looked ethereal on her.

"Hey H?"

Her voice was beautiful too. It was no kidding she was a movie star, her voice draws you in and cages you so you could never leave--not that Harry would want to.

"Yes, Love?"

"You're staring."

Harry blinked, not what he was hoping she would say. He hates to be called out.

"Just wanting to make sure you're happy." He shrugged. "I love you s'much, and I want to give you the perfect gift."

Y/n smiled, a warming one that made Harry's legs feel like jelly. She could never get over the love she felt from Harry, his passtion ratiating from him at all times was truly sickening to the loveless.

"Harry, I love this trip." She brushed her hand through his hair. "Everything you do makes me happy."

"But, earlier, on the yacht you seemed...off."

Y/n bit her lip, looking down to the sea beside them. She didn't mean for Harry to feel disappointed in himself, but she knew exactly what caused it.

"I just had a lot on my mind..." She said, not giving much up which Harry was not happy with.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I ran out of my birth control about a couple weeks ago, and my hormones are really messing with me." She said, hoping he would get the hint.

"So you're horny?" Harry laughed, a boy-ish grin forming on his face. "I can deal with that."

Y/n laughed and pushed his kissing face away from her neck. "Yes, but since I haven't been on birth control in a few weeks, my doctor thinks I could get pregnant."

Harry's jaw dropped, which then formed into another smile, this time one of excitement and hornieness. "So, you mean...we could start trying for a baby?"

Y/n just nodded. Harry put his hands on her face and kissed her. Her hands moved from his hair down his arms then under his shirt. Harry, bless his soul, was a little nervous to move his hand down, but when Y/n broke apart this kiss so she could strip out of her dress he had no problems.

Harry followed and took off the white shirt he was wearing before, alog with his pants. He got pushed down to a long cooler seat. Y/n strattled his hips and startedkissing him more. Harry started to trickle down to her neck, leaving a hicky closer to her boobs so no one could see. He loved the moans coming out of his love, the way he knew she was feeling good was getting himjust as turned on.

"You were horny." Harry snickered, getting back to work soon after. “Sitting on the yacht; you knew I’d fuck you if you asked.”

"I would've done something about it if my in laws weren't in the vicinity."

"My bad." Harry said, but it was half hearted as now he just really didn’t care.

The conversation didn't last long, soon enough Harry's boxers were off and Y/n bra and panties were somewhere else on the boat. "You sure? I got a condom somewhere."

"If I wasn't sure I wouldn't be off the pill." She reminded him. "What about you?"

"I've wanted a kid ever since you said 'I do'." They kissed, softly now, but Y/n soon sat on Harry's hard cock and they both moaned in ecstasy.

Harry was a little shocked to be honest, rarly they have sex without any foreplay or lube, and he doesn't think he's ever felt her so wet--he had to make sure not to cum too prematurely.

Y/n was focused on Harry and her breathing. Sex felt different now knowing they are activly trying for a child, she knows Harry's dick is the same, but something about it just made it better.

She begain to bounce, Harry's arms coming up to squeeze her boob while the other grabbed her ass. He positioned his legs and pushed up into her, again, again, and again. The repative motion was made all the diffference by one of his hands coming down to her clit to make her feelmore pleasure. She gapsed when he pintched her clit, mouth then forming a smile as he looked down to Harry's.

"Babe, I think-I think I'm gonna come." Harry groaned. "I wanna get you pregnant and it so fuckin' hot--come with me. Are you close?"

His voice was fast passed, he rushed through his words as he tried to hold off from coming. Y/n was feeling the same way though; the love, the passtion, and the idea of being pregnant was too much.

"Har, I'm about to." She groaned as Harry's hips shot up in a more paniced order. He felt crazy, moaning and looking just at her made him want to exploed. "Come with me."

Her voice trailed off and turned into a moan as Harry came inside her, no protection. It felt like heaven to the both of them, forgetting the sweat that clang to their bodies.

"I love you." Harry whispered. She was still on his dick, just collasped over him now, but she knew he said it out of love. Sex changed after marriage or after any new step within a marriage; after marriage was so loving, and they had a sense of understanding that truly could be sourced from empaths.

"I love you too." She whispered back. Giving one small kiss to his lips.

"If you get pregnant, I don't know how I'm going to top that gift." Harry jokingly sighed.

"Hm, you could give me another one." She chided. "I want a bunch of Styles babies."

"I'll love any amount of kids you want." Harry decided. "Even if its twenty."

She laughed. "No way am I going to carry twenty, maybe we'll just get some pets."

"What happened to a whole bunch?"

"Only if they're just like their daddy."

"Damn, I only wanted them if they're just like their mummy." Harry joked being distrought, groaing with faux aggrivation.

"Maybe they'll have the best of us."

"My beauty, and your personality." Harry joked, which Y/n didn't like so she jokingly shuved him. "Maybe not your personality."

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x actress!yn #harry styles x famous!reader #harry edward styles #harry styles love on tour #dad!harry #dadrry

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jazjelspen · 3 months

Text

when memories snow

alastor x overlord reader

(notes: songfic, angst, reader has similar powers to alastor, al and vox used to be friends in this fic)

-oneshot-

song used: when memories snow - mitski

You looked out your window to see the Hazbin Hotel in ruins, 666 News playing in the background as you stared off. You recently left the V's building after watching the wreck that was Alastor and Adam's battle through Vox's TV, sure it felt good seeing Alastor get what he deserved after what he did to the both of you but still.. lingering feelings of yours stayed present.

You knew he wasn't dead. You could feel it, his soul's presence still reeked as always it always has in hell.. but it was faint. His soul was far and you could feel it recovering,

That was all you could feel though, your powers limited to there.

You never really enjoyed partnering up with Vox, let alone the other Vs in general. Despite him being an ass to work with you enjoyed when you and Vox would complain to each other about how Alastor threw you both aside.

For Vox he was a friend, business partner, but to you-- he was your lover.

Despite how much you liked complaining to him you didn't exactly pay him much attention since he clearly just wanted to reel you in to work against Alastor, in a heat of anger and at the brink of tears you agreed, now you wondered if it was even worth it.

You loved him, you loved Alastor so much. You made so many good memories with him to the point that you couldn't even look at your home the same now that he's been there, nor could you look at the streets, the towns, the corners of hell you've both been in together. Too painful.

The way he left you behind was sad, truly. He was courting you for at least a decade or two and oh was he such a gentleman to you.. a real sweetheart. He'd hold out his hand for you to take when going down steps of stairs, offer you his arm to hold when walking, take you to outings full of wonder and awe despite the setting you both were in, he even gave you private gifts for when he noticed you were stressed out over your work or simply distraught over anything. Yes this seemed like basic relationship actions but to you it meant so much more.

Sure, he was never openly affectionate. He was okay with touch from you and all and even said a few little cheesy remarks towards you that at times that would make your face flush from how pure his words are despite the owner of the tongue that they are coming out of.

You both bonded over how similar your powers were, bonded over dance, music, singing and to you he saw you as a very interesting and peculiar individual with how different your own adventures were, adventures where he just had to come and see what you were to do to end the situation with and how.. even your his and your shadows played around and goofed off themselves.

To him, you were entertaining.

But in private? He was a dream, at times telling you sweet things that made you light-headed in the best way possible and on the very, very rare occasions did he ever land a kiss on you behind closed doors.

You were the only one to see him this way, so in the end it made you feel as if his love for you was true.

Right?

You loved him, you hated him.

You want to rip him apart in a mess of blood and guts but you also want to be near him again.

Conflicting feelings were raging a war in you, your love and your hunger for revenge killing each other slowly to see who would be the fateful victor in this.

Seven years ago on the day of one of your anniversaries he left you with no warning at all, leaving you worried sick and almost grieving. You attempted to use your powers to try to feel his soul somewhere, anywhere.. but it was as if it fizzled out- leaving traces of where he used to be.

You never moved on and seeing him suddenly come back after those painful years passed made you so happy.. feeling his soul walking around was like a breath of the freshest air of Eden, until all he did was only acknowledge everyone but you.. he fucking acknowledged Vox but ignored you and disappeared each time you came around and no matter how hard you tried it pained you immensely how slicker he got to avoid talking to you.

The killing sprees you both went on together? The dates? The care, the protecting.. you sacrificed one of your fellow overlords for him for his radio broadcast when he first came about because you felt like he was an interesting individual with potential. Was it all just-- for naught?

He seemed in love in his own special way.. so why.. why did he leave you with no words and now proceed to pretend as if you're nothing but a limp corpse.

You hated it you couldn't take it.

So you sought refuge in Vox, becoming 'friends' through your fresh hate of Alastor.

Once the news finished its broadcast you couldn't help but still feel a sense of anger rising in you, revenge bubbling in your blood through your skin as if begging you to take your own pound of flesh.

"When memories snow, and cover up the driveway."

Your voice began to sing, singing wasn't something you did since that fateful day your heart was ripped inside out. But.. it was only fitting you finally did now.

"I shovel all those memories, clear the path to drive to the store."

Your feet turned away from the window to walk towards your desk, you looked around briefly to notice how unkept it was.. never fully cleaning your own study due to your emotional rollercoasters.

"And when memories melt," your eyes narrowed down in emotional pain, remembering one of your most exciting escapades with him before he left. "I hear them in the drainpipe."

You leaned against your desk as you hurriedly opened one of your drawers to then pull out a hidden black and white photo of Alastor and you celebrating one of your anniversaries.

You were so happy that day.

Tears began brimming in your eyes as your hand started trembling and wrinkling the photo with how hard you were holding it.

Do you think he'd visit you?...

Your throat cracking slightly yet your singing never dared to falter.

"Dripping through the downspout.. as I lie awake in the dark."

No, no. If he truly wanted to see you again he would've done it six months ago, but he seemed to be more interested and entertained by the Princess of Hell and her dingy hotel.

As the sound around you amplified so did your heart beat, your anger, the exploding rage. Your shadow began to move on its own as an evil smile presented itself on the floorboards. It laughed, it laughed at you yet whispered encouraging words.. encouraging you to get him to regret leaving you behind. The same shadow that laughed at you when you first realized that you were truly in love with him.

The shadow grew more and expanded itself to your wall and over the window, looking down at the window where the ruins of the hotel was visible to you. It laughed and whispered, mumbled and encouraged you.

As your sorrow weighed on you and made you physically lean against your desk with your hand over your heart, the emotional ache washing over you like a tsunami's ocean wave. It felt as if that dreadful day was repeating,

"And if I break,"

You turned around to face the window again, your body leaning on your desk with a pained look on your features. You wanted to stop hurting--

"Could I go on break?"

It will, it'll stop hurting. Your shadow told you so, and it whispered so many secrets and ideas to you you couldn't help but feel confident in what you wanted to do next.

You won't stay down, you'll pick yourself up.

You stood up straight and off from the desk, a newfound optimism seating itself next to your heartbreak. It even reached to your vocal cords with it now making your singing sound more stern and steady.

"Be back in my room, writing speeches in my head."

You took a few steps towards the window, your shadow only growing bigger and widening itself across your room.. basking it all in darkness. It devilishly cheered for you, for your up in coming revenge.

You began to grin, feeling your power enhance with this fire in your heart raging and dancing like a tango.

You raised your arms up as if welcoming in this new revelation, happily bringing in this new purpose.

"Listening to the thousand hands,"

"That clap for me in the dark."

Your grinning face stayed plastered with your emotions as you sang your last words, your song finishing soon after.

In the end, rage won over your soul, overlooking the love you have had for him.

You will get your revenge against Alastor.

Whether he truly felt the same way for you or not, you weren't going to ask yourself that anymore. Avenging yourself was all that mattered.

You picked up your phone, tapping it a few times before it started ringing.. your intended target to help you in your plans answered.

"Vox, do you still have some free time on your hands? We need to have a discussion about the Radio Demon."

You weren't regretting this, you won't regret it.

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cosmic-whispers · 1 year

Text

In the Shadows - Azriel x Reader

Summary: When Rhysand forces you and Azriel on a mission in Hewn City, you find yourselves in a pleasure hall with lowered inhibitions and rising tensions.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, mentions of childhood abuse, drug use (mirthroot), SMUT (no minors!!!), threesome (kind of? not really), Eris (lol), public sex in a pleasure hall

Word Count: 8.3k

A/N: This is my favorite thing that I’ve written. It’s quite long and it took me over 3 weeks to write, but what else is new? I take forever, but I write when I can! I hope you enjoy!

“What is this?”

The shopping bag that Rhysand had slid over to you held a small, neatly folded piece of clothing. He had called you into his office, telling you he had something he needed to give you.

“It’s a dress.” The black, mesh garment held in your hand could hardly be called a dress. There was nearly not enough fabric.

“Where’s the rest of it?”

He rolled his violet eyes at you. “Feyre picked it out. She said it was perfect for tomorrow.”

You were confused for a moment. Nothing particularly exciting was happening tomorrow–no birthdays, anniversaries, or celebrations at all.

“What is happening tomorrow?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, a frown hinting at the edges of his mouth. “Your mission in Hewn City…”.

You startled, eyes widening in surprise. This was the first you heard of this mission. And in Hewn City? You hated that damned place. It was always so cold–the chill seeping deep into your bones and it would not leave you for days and you weren’t particular to its inhabitants, either. It would be a mission that you would need time to mentally and emotionally prepare for.

Growing up in Hewn City was traumatizing. It was called the Court of Nightmares–a fitting name for the hellhole that it was. Your parents were high-ranking, always expecting so much from you. You were their biggest disappointment–despite all the emotional and physical abuse you had suffered at their hands, you still ended up being a decent person.

Meeting Mor was your saving grace. You both grew up in similar situations and you found a sisterhood with her, meeting her while she was there with the High Lord. She saw herself in you, she had admitted much later and became your closest friend, the only family you had for a very long time.

Until she decided to change your life and you found yourself in Velaris, your small family of one growing as you became close to the Inner Circle.

The fact that this mission was in Hewn City and no one bothered to warn you made your chest twinge in pain.

“Rhysand, what mission are you talking about? I haven’t heard anything about this.”

“Azriel said he would meet with you and brief you on it. By your reaction, I assume he has not.”

Ice spread through your chest, and you tried to contain the rage building within you. “And when did Azriel say this?”

“Two weeks ago.”

Everything became quite clear at that moment. Azriel. Whatever you did was never good enough for him. Whatever you said was never right enough. You had fallen for him the instant you saw him; he was brooding and handsome and strong, but your crush was quickly smothered and buried deep. The male was distrustful of you since you met him and despite being with your friends for years, he had never bothered to know you. His critical words formed echoes that you heard in your sleep, making you insecure and confused for a very long time. Your pain had turned into anger not long after–you were smart and capable, and you’d proven yourself more than enough times. You did not need his approval or his friendship.

You let out a slow, measured breath, unwilling to lose your composure in front of your High Lord. What you wanted was to scream and stomp your feet in exasperation. Then, throttle the damned Shadowsinger.

“Your little shadow hates me,” you said.

Rhys leaned back in his chair, a smirk growing on his face. “I assure you he does not hate you.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “He does. And I’m going to kill him.”

Rhysand laughed and you stood, glaring at him. “Where is he?”

—-------------*----------------------

You barged into Azriel’s office and slammed the door behind you, the heavy wood slamming against the frame and the thundering thud filled the silence in the room. The large bookshelves in the office were filled to the brim, and the dark curtains covering the windows caused the bright afternoon sun to dim significantly.

The Shadowsinger’s eyes continued to scan the letter in his hand, not a glance or flinch of acknowledgment your way.

The blatant disregard of your presence caused rage to build within you, heat burning the back of your neck and the tip of your pointed ears. “Were you planning on not telling me about this mission at all?”

Finally, his hazel eyes raised to meet yours, the glasses perched on the bridge of his straight nose making your stomach clench. The feeling caught you by surprise, and you pushed it away to a dark crevice in your mind, focusing instead on the pit of anger growing within you like an uncontrollable wildfire.

“You’re not going on a mission,” he said simply and looked back down to the papers in front of him. His features remain impassive and uncaring, causing the aggravation to build further and further, and your fist to clutch tightly around the dark dress you still held in your hands.

You held your arm up, displaying the rumpled fabric in your fist. “Rhsand and Feyre seem to have a different idea. She even picked out my dress for me.”

His eyes traveled to the small, thin fabric in your hands and his gaze darkened. His jaw was tightly clenched and he took a slow, measured breath. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his clear annoyance with you.

“I’m able to handle the mission on my own,” he said, his eyes meeting your own with an unreadable expression. “You’re not needed.”

You actually rolled your eyes at that. Of course, he would come up with whatever excuse he could think of to keep you from tagging along with him. You knew that the Shadowsinger did not trust you and liked you even less, but the realization that he did not even want you there to do your job made your heart hurt.

“As I said, Rhys and Feyre seem to think I need to be there, so that’s a lie. It’s also not a good excuse. If you can't give me a real reason, then you will brief me and I will be going with you.”

He sighed, frustration clear in his eyes as he glared up at you.

He stayed silent, probably trying to taunt you. Well…two can play that game.

“I’m waiting.”

His hands curled into a death grip at the top of his desk, the letter still within his grasp crumbling and he slammed it down on top of the mahogany wood, standing quickly. His massive frame filled the room, his wings expanding and ruffling slightly in anger. A flash of fear spiked in your chest, but you held your ground, tilting your head back to glare back at him–challenging him.

“Fine,” he said, leaning down to be face-to-face with you. His eyes darkened, the black of his pupils the only thing visible beside the small ring of hazel surrounding it. The scent of cedar and icy mist filled your senses, and for a moment, you found yourself speechless at the male in front of you. Despite his disdain, it was hard to admit that you didn’t feel a draw toward the spymaster even still. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen. And while that thought still rang true, his frigidity toward you made uncertainty and pain fill your heart, walls building to form a suit of armor around it. You would not allow him to best you.

“I don’t want you to go,” he snarled, leaning down to be face-to-face with you.

“I don’t care,” you said. “I’m going. I don’t care if you don’t want me there. I don’t care that you don’t trust me or like me. This is my job and my responsibility to this Court. And I won’t let you–or anyone–stop me from doing it. So you can either brief me right now, or I can go get Rhysand and you can brief me then.”

Your jaw tensed as you both stared intently at each other, neither one willing to back down. Gods, you wanted to fight him. Perhaps it was immature, but you didn’t care. Perhaps it will prove your abilities and capabilities to him. Perhaps you will beat him and put him in his place. You needed to let out your rage and physically attacking him was a very tempting option.

“Eris has been spotted frequenting an undisclosed location in the art district of Hewn City,” he said calmly. His entire demeanor relaxed, and his features became uncaring as he sat back down in his chair. “We suspect he’s been having secret meetings with someone there. I’ve sent spies, but they were unable to gather any information. Someone has to try to go inside. There’s music heard and well-dressed faes are constantly streaming in and out, hence your dress.”

You nodded, absorbing the information. The mission seemed simple enough, and you hoped you would not have any run-ins with your family. Parties in the art district were not something that they tended to stray toward.

“When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow at dusk” His eyes moved to the papers in front of him once more, the action dismissal enough.

“I’ll see you then.”

As you walked away, you felt his heavy gaze burning on your retreating back. Always judging you. Always scrutinizing you. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself with the realization that you had much to prove in the Court of Nightmares.

—-----------*-------------

You stared at yourself in the full-length mirror, half in horror and half appreciatively. The dress was revealing more of you than you ever had before. The plunging neckline reached down to your navel, exposing the soft skin of your cleavage and stomach. The soft flowy skirt reached down to the floor, with two symmetrical thigh-high slits on either side. You knew you looked good, yet still felt a wave of bashfulness crash over you.

You made your way downstairs, your confidence growing with each step you took. You looked good, but you felt even better, loving how the material hugged your skin. It was out of your comfort zone, but you felt beautiful and desirable.

When you made it to the foyer, Azriel’s eyes met yours and his eyes hardened. His analyzing gaze slowly made its way down your figure and his jaw twitched. You took a deep breath, pointedly ignoring the visceral disdain of you, and looked at Mor, who would be winnowing you to the mountain.

“You look incredible, (Y/N),” your friend said, admiring the way the dress fit you. She approached you, fixing a strand of your hair that had fallen out of place.

“To be honest, I feel incredible,” you murmured to her and you both giggled.

A huff of annoyance came from beside you and you looked at Azriel as he rolled his eyes. Your smile faded and an embarrassed heat rose to your neck and face. You knew that he wanted you to hear it–the Spymaster would not let any of his emotions show without it being intentional. He wanted you to know that he did not agree with Mor and an inkling of doubt entered your mind that perhaps you did not look as good as you thought.

You glared at him, unable to control the ripple of indignation that rushed through you. Mor sighed from beside you and his eyes moved to her, softening significantly. To yourself, you could admit that it hurt you to see the way he was looking at her. You understood that she had been in his life for a lot longer than you had, that he had been in love with her for a long time, but it still made you feel inadequate. Why couldn’t he trust you as he trusted her? What more could you do to be worthy in his eyes?

“We’re ready to go,” he said and Mor nodded, slipping her palm into his.

She looked at you and smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be right back for you.”

The air around you thinned and grew cold for a moment as they winnowed away. The silence intensified in your solitude. No one else was present in the Townhouse and your thoughts began to spiral. You felt out of place, suddenly wondering why you were even needed in this mission in the first place. You willed the intrusive thoughts away, focusing instead on the job in front of you. You were confident in yourself. You knew you were competent.

Mor returned quickly and smiled gently at you.

“You’re feeling alright?”

You nodded. She raised her eyebrow at you and you sighed.

“I’m just frustrated that I have to go there with him,” you admitted. “He didn’t even bother telling me anything about this.” She was silent as you walked towards her and slipped your hand into hers.

“I’m sorry. I know Azriel’s behavior toward you hurts you,” she said. “I wish you would get along–you’re more similar than you think. I wish he would give you a chance.”

“Unlikely.”

She gave you a wistful smile. You shrugged and closed your eyes through the pulling sensation in your gut and the brief moment of total darkness as she winnowed. You found yourself next to Azriel at the entrance to the Hewn City and you took a deep, calming breath.

“Good luck, you two,” Mor said before winnowing away.

Hewn City always brought up old, unwanted memories for you. The shadowed avenues, the dark stone paving the streets, and the many buildings with rising spires. This was the place that you grew up in–yet it never felt like home. You hated everything about it. Your exposed skin broke out in goosebumps, the cold from being so deep inside the mountain chilling you and sudden claustrophobia made the walls feel like they were enclosing you.

“Focus.” The growl came from your left and you shook the sudden panic away. Your eyes met Azriel’s intense stare, his eyes fixated on you and his hand was wrapped around your elbow. Despite the anger in his voice, his grip was gentle and his eyes shone with something resembling concern.

“I’m focused.” You could never fight the urge to talk back to him.

“You’re panicking.”

“It’s this place,” you found yourself admitting after a few moments of silence. “It brings back unpleasant memories.”

He didn’t answer, not that you had expected him to. He let go of your arm and turned away from you, giving you a moment to take a few deep breaths and stop the spiraling of your mind. His shadows shot out from him, slinking into the darkness; invisible spies. They returned after a few moments, curling into the ear of their master.

He turned back to you. “Your parents are not here. You can relax.”

You were stunned that he had sent his shadows to check. You were sure that he knew snippets of your past, but it was never something you had opened up to him about. He had always kept you at arm's length, despite your efforts to know him. Efforts that he had quickly crushed.

“Eris is heading into the art district. We should get there right away,” Azriel said, turning back and beginning to walk away. You quickly followed.

The bobbing faelights illuminated the way forward and you both clung to the shadows, silently tracking the Autumn Court heir. The art district in Hewn City was vastly different from Velaris. While the Rainbow celebrated life and love and drew crowds of reverent aesthetes, the Court of Nightmares lauded debauchery, hedonism, and lewdness. Every surface of the city within the mountain was engraved with haunting carvings of beasts and figures fornicating or reveling or killing. Despite the craftsmanship, the art had always sent a shiver down your spine.

Eris walked at a brisk pace, his tall, lean figure moving quickly through the darkness of the city, his red hair hidden by the black cloak he wore. He easily blended into the large crowds of people trying to get to the many different parties held in this district, but Azriel did not lose sight of him once.

He made an abrupt left, turning down an alley. You and Azriel observed from across the way as he opened a black, unmarked back door and entered the building.

“Any idea what it could be in there?” you whispered to Azriel.

“I don’t know.” His eyes did not waver from the door as he shook his head. His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath in.

Your took a deep breath and your nose twitched as a familiar pungent smell reached you.

“Mirthroot?” you asked, your tone laced with humor.

He nodded as his shadows spiraled away from him and skulked toward the door and through the cracks between the walls. Within a few moments, the shadows returned, buzzing and curling around Azriel’s ear. His eyebrows furrowed and he reeled the shadows back toward himself.

“What is it?”

“They’re telling me to go in,” he said.

“What?! Did they say what is in there?”

He shook his head. “I can control where they go, I can’t control what they tell me.”

You rolled your eyes. “So we know exactly nothing? That’s useful.”

He glared at you. “They’re certainly more useful than you are.”

You suppressed the pang of hurt you felt in your gut and glared back at him. Without another word, you turned away from him and began stomping toward the alley. A firm grasp on your bicep pulled you to a quick stop and Azriel turned you toward him, his eyes hard and face furrowed in anger.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Where do you think? Your little shadows said to go in. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“No, you are not.”

Your hands clenched into fists and you tried to wrestle your arm away from his grip. “Yes, I am.”

“Are you really so illogical that you would risk your life running into that building?” You opened your mouth to retort, but he did not let you get a single word out. “Absolutely not. You will stay right here and I will go in.”

He turned away from you and began making his way toward the entrance. Indignant fury burned within you. How dare he order you to stay? This was your mission too; whether he disapproved of having you there or not, you did not care. You would see the mission through. You followed behind him, your steps quickening to catch up with his long strides.

As his grip wrapped around the handle to the door and opened it, you squeezed through beside him and stood in front of the guard that that stood there. The rest of the room was shielded from your view by thick, black curtains but the beat of the jazzy music played in your ear. Azriel’s glare was piercing, anger rolling off of him like raging waves. You pointedly ignored his eyes on the side of your face and smiled at the guard, who looked unimpressed and annoyed.

“Any weapons?”

You and Azriel shook your heads. The fae checked you both, patting you both down thoroughly to ensure that you were being honest and you found yourself grateful for Azriel being able to hide your weapons within his shadows. You felt a pang of guilt for calling them useless, but you would never admit that to him.

The male looked at you. “Did you take your tea?”

You were confused but nodded anyway. “Yes.”

He stepped aside easily enough; the ward around the building probably offered security enough to its inhabitants. You followed Azriel as he made his way through the thick black curtain. He paused for a moment in front of you and you shoved him gently. He stepped aside, allowing you to see the space before you. Thick smoke from the mirthroot being burned covered the room. The faelights flickered a dark blue, making the room look ethereal. You felt like you had stepped into a dream cloud.

Rhythmic music played from a corner of the room, enlightening your senses and your eyes were drawn toward the massive, impressive paintings hanging from the walls.

A loud sigh drew your attention to the group of people on the couch. Males and females were gathered closely, completely naked and exposed. Some were kissing, others were touching, and others were fucking. The scent of arousal lingered weak under the mirthroot, but it was undeniable.

It was a pleasure party.

You made eye contact with another female across the room. A male was underneath her, fucking her from behind and the other male was above her, fucking into her pussy. They moved in perfect tandem with each other and you were unable to look away. The female smiled at you, winking as another male approached her, and she shoved his cock into her mouth. Your legs began to tingle and you gasped softly, turning your eyes away from the sight, your face burning hot.

“Maybe we should leave,” you said, unable to meet his gaze.

“Well, well.” The voice from behind you was deep and haughty and you turned quickly. Eris Vanserra’s amber eyes shone mischievously at you and Azriel.

“I figured Rhysand would send his hound after my scent,” he said, staring at Azriel.

“We’re not here for you,” you said quickly.

“Not that it’s any of your concern,” Azriel said, jumping in quickly and effectively shutting you up.

“I think it is. It’s a matter of trust. I was under the impression that we were building an alliance. Was I mistaken?”

“No,” you jumped in again, attempting to salvage the situation. Your anxiety was rising, but you shoved it down, trying to remain calm and appear casual. You did not want to jeopardize any potential alliance between the Courts, knowing Rhysand would be very upset and it could potentially threaten the Night Court in the future.

“You’re not mistaken.” You smiled reassuringly at him, amping your charm and batting your eyelashes at him. “We’re not here for you. Just looking to have some fun of our own. Explore a bit. Same as you.”

“Well, in that case…” He trailed off, taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his lips as he bent down. He pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles and smirked at you. Your face felt warm as his gaze remained on yours. A shadow loomed over you, and you broke eye contact to look behind you at Azriel. His face was stoic, but his wings twitched in what you could only assume was annoyance.

Eris tugged on your hand gently, pulling your attention back to him. “Would you care for a smoke?”

He began leading you to the table he occupied, where a group of fae sat and mingled. Azriel’s presence remained behind you as he followed close behind, ready to intervene. Eris grabbed the water pipe that sat at the center of the table and lit the mirthroot with a flick of his finger. He took a long drag, filling the glass with thick, potent smoke. He held the pipe to you, and you pressed your mouth to the cold glass, inhaling the heady smoke.

You held the smoke for a few moments, exhaling slowly and the feeling of relaxation began to crawl its way through you.

Azriel’s large hand wrapped around your arm and turned you toward him. “Let’s go.”

He began to walk away, but your wrist remained clasped in Eris’ hand. Azriel turned back around and glared at Eris. His gaze moved to you, an indiscernible look in his eye. His face was stern, lips squeezed shut into a thin frown and his jaw clenched.

“We’re leaving.” His low, hoarse voice caused a shiver to roll down your spine. His darkened eyes did not leave yours, smoke swirling between you.

“Why?” The haughty voice of the Autumn Court heir interrupted the moment, bringing you right back to the party around you. You looked up at him, finding a smirk on his lips and his eyes on your chest.

“She said you were both here to explore,” Eris said, and Azriel glowered at him. “And I would love to explore her.”

His hand raised slowly, his long, thin fingers caressing the skin of your wrist and traveling up your exposed arm softly. The warmth of his hands raised goosebumps on your flesh.

The loud, rumbling snarl that came out of Azriel in that moment surprised you. You tore your eyes from the redhead and looked back at Azriel, a look of pure hatred and anger on his face. You froze as he grabbed your arm, pulling you gently towards him and out of Eris’ grasp. His shadows swirled around him, hiding you from Eris’ eyes.

“Do. Not. Touch. Her.”

You looked up at him in shock. You had never seen his face look as twisted and angry as it did right then, a snarl on his perfect lips and a deep furrow on his brow. He was not a male prone to losing his composure easily. He was always so serious. But the dark, angry look in his eyes made a spike of fear strike in your chest and you wondered if he would be as smoldering and voracious with a lover beneath him to feast upon.

“Someone needs to. She looks delectable.”

Azriel’s chest rumbled and his gaze stayed on Eris as he slowly pulled you backward. His grip on your arm remained gentle, yet firm, and you had no choice but to be dragged along with him. He sat before you on one of the large loveseats scattered throughout the room. His hands moved to your hips, pulling you towards him until you kneeled on the seat, straddling his thighs and your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck.

You somehow managed to find your voice through the shock coursing through you. “What are you doing?” you whispered.

His eyes were affixed to your face, still intense, but his frown had softened and his face had relaxed.

“Fitting in. You said we came here on our own for enjoyment, so now this is what we’re doing.”

Of course, he would blame you for your current predicament. “Clearly he’s here because he’s a kinky motherfucker; there was no need to make him distrustful of us. I was quick on my feet,” you answered back, defensively. You felt like your body was buzzing on high alert.

“Yes, well, now we have to fit in,” he said, his hands trailing your hips and lower back. Despite the sarcasm lacing his words, his eyes remained gentle, looking at you as if this was normal–as if it was wanted.

No…you were seeing things, of course. Azriel did not want to be in this situation, and he definitely did not want you.

A presence behind you blocked the faelights, shrouding Azriel in darkness. You glanced behind you, finding Eris smirking down at you. His hand rose trailing your shoulders and down your spine teasingly. You shivered, skin breaking out into goosebumps.

The hands around your hips tightened and Azriel pulled you closer to him. Your chest was pressed tightly against his, and the scent of cedar and icy air filled your lungs. His presence so close to you and the warm hand still attached to your shoulder made your brain hazy for a moment.

You looked at his handsome face, never having seen it so close before. He glared at the redhead that lingered behind you.

“Leave.”

“No,” you said, moving a hand to place it on top of Eris’ hand. “Stay.”

Hazel eyes met yours, shock and surprise in them. Eris moved closer still, heat radiating from his body and onto your back, and his hands began to trace the exposed skin of your back and shoulders. The male ran hotter than normal, the unfamiliar heat leaving your skin tingling and craving more. Azriel’s breathing deepened and although his face remained as stoic as ever, a deep blush had risen to his cheeks and neck, and his wings were pulled taut against his back.

The thin strap of your dress was nudged out of the way, and a steamy kiss was pressed to the exposed skin.

“Is this alright, little one?”

“Yes,” you breathed, desperation coating your words. This was what you needed. You needed to fuck someone, fuck the stress and the frustration away. And if you weren’t going to get that from the male straddled beneath you, the heir to the Autumn Court was an enticing alternative. Azriel’s grip on your hips tightened to an almost painful level, but the wetness in your core was continuously building and you had never been as aroused as you were in that moment.

The other strap was pushed down your arm. The flimsy fabric of the dress fell easily and pooled at your waist, exposing your breasts to Azriel. His dark, heavy gaze finally left yours, eyes looking down shamelessly and staring at your body. Your nipples were hard and your breasts heavy with arousal. He froze beneath you, hands going slack against your skin, and he was unable to tear his eyes away from you.

Warm lips pressed against the curve of your neck, slowly tracing down your left shoulder and down your back. Another presence–a small, dainty female–appeared on your right and her petite hands began running over your flushed skin. Heat pooled on your core at the overstimulation. Azriel’s hands gripped your hips impossibly tight and his eyes met yours again, Eris’ warm lips and hands roamed the left side of your body, and the spunky female at your right lightly caressed and suddenly pinched your nipple causing you to shiver and moan.

You seemed to have no control over your body, you felt as if your soul had ascended and all you craved was pleasure. Your hips began moving, slowly sliding back and forth on Azriel’s covered length. He was hard as steel beneath you and you gasped in surprise at just how large he felt. Your eyes remained on Azriel’s, mesmerized at the rosy blush on his cheeks and the color of his eyes, thin rings of melted honey surrounding his onyx pupils. His wild gaze was fierce, striking you down to your core and a burst of hope to spark in your heart.

The female beside you traced her tongue over your neck before biting–hard. You moaned, the heat crawling through you intense and all-consuming. You found yourself close to the edge when the tip of Azriel’s clothed cock hit your clit and Eris’ ardent touch reached your breast and squeezed your nipple.

A pair of heated hands wrapped around you from behind and grabbed onto your breasts roughly. His lips continued to trail down your neck. You shut your eyes in pleasure, your head dropping backward until it landed on Eris’ shoulder. Where had the female gone? Did it matter when you felt this good?

“Keep rubbing, little kitten,” he purred in your ears and his long, skilled fingers pinched around your pink nubs. While you would normally argue against the cheeky nickname, the mirthroot had you entirely too relaxed and the male beneath you had you entirely too turned on.

Eris gripped your jaw, turning your face towards his and he pressed his lips brusquely against yours with a bruising force. The kiss was messy, full of teeth and tongue. He tasted of cinnamon and burned embers–like a warm autumn day spent near a fire. Your arms wound themselves around Azriel’s neck, holding on tightly as Eris bent your head back.

The deep growl that escaped the Shadowsinger made your heartbeat stutter and your hips increased their speed on his lap.

“Fuck this.”

The delicious grip he had maintained on your hips was momentarily gone, and you feared he would stop you. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist and pulled you forcefully toward him until your front was pressed flush against his. Your bare chest pressed against the rough fabric of his leathers and his own hips started moving in tandem with yours. Your noses pressed close together, and your heavy pants mingled, his scent intoxicating and making you think of only him.

He looked completely fucked and you were sure you looked quite similar to him. He had not even entered you and you were both teetering on the edge of orgasm.

A soft caress to your lower back brought you back to reality and you could still feel Eris’ presence behind you. Azriel’s large wings that had been held taut against his back abruptly expanded, and then curled around you, pushing the Autumn heir away and shielding you from his prying eyes and wandering hands. The frigid slivers of shadows tracing up your legs aided the male in hiding you away from everyone else.

He pushed your hips back, one of his hands holding firm on the back of your neck, his other maneuvering to the front of his leathers, unlacing them easily, and pushing the fabric away. His large dick was exposed, his sheer size exciting you and you could not help but think of the rumors regarding wing size and just how true they were. You moved the skirt of your dress up around your waist and nestled your naked core on the velvety skin of his dick. Your hips undulated on his in a perfect rhythm, his head hitting your clit with precision each time, causing pleasure to ripple down your back.

Beads of sweat dripped on his forehead, plastering strands of dark curls to his skin. His large, calloused, and strong hands gripped your ass, fingers digging deep into the skin, the slight pain making you moan. The thought of the bruises that he would leave on you made your clit throb, your juices flowing and dripping onto him.

His forehead pressed together against yours and his eyes burned intensely into yours–bright fires of melted honey that you were entirely too happy to drown in. He moved one of his hands to your neck and pulled you toward him, his soft lips meeting yours and he kissed you slowly, ardently, taking the time to explore your mouth.

The frenzied humping of your hips slowed to a gentle rhythm and your stomach suddenly exploded with butterflies, nerves starting to spread to your heart and too many thoughts to wander through your head.

His hands turned gentle, slowly sliding up and wrapping tightly around your back. You slowly broke the kiss and looked at him.

“I thought you didn’t trust me,” you said. Despite the worry that he would dismiss your fears and turn back to scorn and sarcasm, you decided to be vulnerable with him. Regardless of your past with him, something had irrevocably changed and you decided to be open and jump headfirst into it.

“I do trust you,” he answered, eyes honest.

Your bodies sat still together, and you held each other. The muffled sounds of the people around you silenced as his shadows crawled up the both of you, shielding you from wandering eyes and prying ears. The light of his siphons lit up your faces in shades of blue, making it feel dreamlike.

“Why did you never want me to go on missions?”

“I wanted to protect you,” he said. “When Mor brought you from Hewn City to Velaris, I was distrustful, at first, but as I got to know you and your story…I felt so protective over you. You’ve been through so much, and I vowed to keep you away from anything that could hurt you again. It was wrong; I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, but I never wanted to be the one to put you in a position where you got hurt. I should’ve told you my reasoning back then, but I didn’t. You fucking despised me for doing it. I wanted to explain myself to you, but then I figured that it was for the best. I’m not a good male. I do wicked things, and my past will always haunt me. I put the people I love in danger.”

United tears glimmered in his eyes and your throat felt tight. Your brain was hazy, focused only on him and his words, and you gaped at him in shock. Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined Azriel saying these things to you. Being honest and vulnerable and tender with you. But here he was, looking at you with intensely caring eyes.

“I know it’s hard to believe, considering the way I treated you. Fuck, I’m so sorry for that, (Y/N). You didn’t deserve that, and I realize that I was wrong. I wanted to keep you safe, but I ended up hurting you in the process.”

“I forgive you,” you said, and you did. He did cause you pain and confusion and anger, but you knew who he was deep down. He was the male that took care of his brothers when they got shit-faced drunk and could barely make it a few steps up the stairs. He was the male that always made sure to get the latest smutty release for Nesta on the very first day it came out. He was the male and loved playing with Nyx and took joy in all the less pleasant aspects of caring for a babe. The male so desperate to protect you that he let his insecurities cloud his judgment. You wanted to get to know that male.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

You had a sudden thought that Azriel probably didn’t think he deserved much of anything. It broke your heart.

“That’s not your choice, Azriel. I choose to forgive you. And I understand now the reason behind everything. But the only way anything could ever work between us is for you to understand that I make my own decisions and I have a responsibility to this Court, as do you,” you said.

He breathed in a deep, shaky breath and leaned his forehead against yours. “I know. I’ll be better for you, I promise.”

You breathed deeply as a stinging pain grew on your left wrist. You pulled your arm from around him and glanced down, finding a small, crawling tattoo on your skin. Glancing at Azriel, he was admiring the matching mark on his wrist. Promises among fae were serious things–you felt honored. And a bit overwhelmed.

“That was a bit dramatic,” you teased, breaking the tension. He huffed a laugh and pressed his lips against yours in a soft, caressing kiss.

There was a beat of silence, both of you basking in the novelty and intimacy of the moment. He brushed his nose against yours, a small smile on his lips and his awed eyes fixated on yours.

“I can’t believe I have you like this,” he said and his hands lowered to grip your ass and push your pelvis hard against his.

You felt heat rise on your cheeks and to the tips of your ears and you could not help the smile that grew on your lips. His eyes glanced down at your smile and he leaned forward, pressing his soft, plump lips to yours once again. He nipped your bottom lip, making you gasp, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, tasting you, learning you. His scent, the feel of his hands on your bare skin, and the taste of him were consuming you–burrowing deep into your skin. Your body felt like it was on fire.

In a moment of clarity, you broke the kiss, giggling as he tried to chase your lips with his.

“Azriel, what does this mean?” you panted, out of breath and flustered.

“It means that I’m crazy about you. You’re so strong and stubborn and you can be a brat sometimes, and I’m obsessed with you. I’m so fucking soft for you, baby. I want you like this, with me, always. I want to kiss you and take you on dates and anything else you’re willing to give me.” His brilliant smile lit up his face. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen.

“I want that, too,” you said, pressing your lips against his, gently pulling his lip to your mouth. Mother above, he was irresistible. You could not get enough.

He broke the kiss, trailing his mouth down your cheek and jaw, leaving a warm tingling on your skin. Your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, holding him tight to your body.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered against your skin but not low enough to where you couldn’t hear him. He meant for you to hear him. He kissed down your neck now, the path igniting your skin and making the blood pump through your veins like molten lava. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Maybe it was the mirthroot,” you teased. Your breathy laugh turned to a moan as he bit down on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

Amidst the clouds of lust that shrouded your thoughts, you managed to pull away from him once again and he groaned in frustration.

“Az, we should probably leave,” you said. Before you were able to move an inch away from him, his arms tightened around you pulling you taut against him. Your bare skin was pushed against the harsh material of his leathers and you found yourself wishing to see him completely bare.

“No,” he whined and you could not hold back the smile at the new sound. “Not yet.”

“There’s a lot of people here,” you said. Despite his shadows masking you in darkness and silence, you felt exposed, knowing that around you, there were people doing the exact same thing that you were.

“Don’t worry,” he said, bringing his face to the crook of your neck and began pressing kisses to your shoulders, slowly moving lower on your chest. “I won’t let anyone see you. Although, you didn’t seem to have a problem with that a few minutes ago. Letting that fucker touch you…kiss you…Perhaps I should punish you.”

You scoffed at him and rolled your eyes. “This is different. This isn't a one-night stand or fucking in the middle of a sex club with a random stranger. It’s with you.”

His eyes softened and he stole another kiss. “I want you right now,” he admitted. “I’ve dreamed so long for this and I’m scared that I’ll never have you like this again. If you want to leave, we can. But, I’d like to make you mine right now, if you allow it. I want everyone here to know that I’m the lucky bastard that gets to have you.”

Your eyes widened in surprise; his desperation nearly mirrored yours and you felt the familiar heat creep up your face and swirl in your core. You felt vulnerable, exposed, and yet…it was exciting.

Your arms tightened around Azriel’s shoulder and you nodded. “Yes.”

He bent his head down and bit your nipple, eliciting a moan from deep within you and you arched your back, pushing your chest closer to him. His mouth wrapped around the tingling skin, gently licking and sucking at your breast. His hand on your back pulled your hips tighter against his, pressing your cunt against his erection and he groaned against your chest, his other hand kneading the skin of your ass.

Your hand managed to sneak in between your bodies, reaching down and gripping his throbbing member in your hand and lining him up at your entrance. You looked deep into his eyes as you slowly slid him inside of you and sank down, taking him deep to the hilt, his tip hitting your cervix once he was fully sheathed within you. Your knees pressed tight against his sides and he groaned. He closed his eyes, head rolling back and he gasped as you clenched around him. The stretch from the mere size of him was incredible and you groaned low in your throat.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His voice was raspy and deep, sending a shiver up your spine.

You began rolling your hips slowly, grinding on his thick cock, the delicious friction making you feel delirious.

“Azriel,” you moaned as your clit rubbed perfectly against his pelvic bone. He looked at you, his hazel eyes fixed on yours and you refused to break eye contact. His hands, calloused and scarred, ran over your soft skin—over your thighs, your back, belly, and breasts. Anywhere he could reach.

It was heavenly. It was perfect.

You swirled your hips, a groan leaving him and you began to ride him in earnest, your pussy tightening around him and your thrusts becoming sporadic as a burning began to spread in your lower belly and thighs.

He gripped your ass, holding you with a bruising force against him, and began thrusting up into you, the delicious roughness lighting your body on fire and burning you from the inside out. He felt like he was made for you. You wished he would remain in you forever. He moaned in your ear and set a furious speed, hitting you deep in a spot that made you see stars and you screamed in pleasure.

“Cum right now,” he growled, kissing and biting down your neck, and your pussy squeezed around him, impossibly tight. You could feel every inch of him–the thick vein that ran on the underside of his penis, the thick head that slammed repeatedly into your cervix.

Without warning, you reached your peak–your vision turned white, and your entire body tightened, fingernails digging deep into the skin of Azriel’s back. Your eyes shut tight and with a few more thrusts, he carried you through the most mind blowing orgasm you had ever had. You clung tight to him as he continued to thrust within you, your pussy clenching and overstimulated.

“Azriel,” you whined in his ear, begging for a respite.

“One more, baby,” he groaned back. His voice was tight and his eyes hard as he gazed down to where your bodies connected. You could tell he was holding himself back from letting go. “Just need one more from you.”

With no time to recover from your first orgasm, it didn’t take you too long to reach your second. The pleasure was blinding and deafening, teetering on the edge of pain but it was so good that you never wanted it to end. You could think of nothing but him in that moment, the way he gripped you, so strong and powerful beneath you, his impressive length stuffed inside of you, and the delicious friction. Your juices squirted out of you, soaking the skin between the two of you and you sobbed in utter pleasure.

He growled loudly, and his body shook as he came inside of you.

You both clung to each other for a few moments, chests heaving and hearts pounding in your chests. He panted softly, his head pressing against your neck.

After catching your breath, you leaned back and stared at his perfect face. His skin was dewy, sweaty from exertion and his eyes were glazed. He smiled at you, bright and unreserved and you found yourself breathless for a moment. He had never smiled at you like that and it made your heart flutter.

He pressed a soft, chaste kiss on your lips.

“We have a lot more we need to talk about. I think it’s time to go,” he said and you nodded, laughing softly.

“Agreed.”

His hands went to the straps hanging from your waist and moved the bodice of the dress back up to cover your chest. You lifted your hips slowly, and shuddered at the feeling of him sliding out of you. He unfurled his wings from where they had wrapped around you and you stood back, your skirts sliding down your calves and dropping to your feet. Azriel stood, towering over you, and fixed his leathers, dissipating the shadows from around you.

The sudden influx of light was jarring and you squinted. Azriel’s hand wrapped around yours and he began leading you to the exit.

A throat cleared from behind you, and you turned to find Eris. His eyes were bloodshot red, probably from the rolled mirthroot he was smoking, and he had a lazy smirk directed at the two of you.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked, offering you the joint. You took it from him, inhaling the pungent herbs. You held it up to Azriel, who took a drag, a glare remaining fixed on the redhead.

“We had our fun,” you answered, letting out the smoke from your lungs and handed it back to him.

“A shame. Perhaps next time,” he answered, becoming distracted as a fully naked, full-figured woman approached him and began running her hand on his shoulder. His attention immediately focused on her beautiful figure and Azriel took that as the chance to leave, grabbing your hand and rushing you out of the building quickly, making your way out of the mountain at record speeds.

“There will not be a next time,” Azriel growled from beside you, eyes hardened and you giggled at his jealousy. Had he been stewing on Eris’ comments the entire time?

“So possessive already?” you teased. He glared at you, the look so reminiscent of the hard looks he had given you in the past. But now, instead of the pangs of hurt that you used to feel, you could only find peace.

“You never know. It could be fun.”

The growl from beside you was your only warning as he swept you into his arms and into the night sky, his wings expanding majestically behind him. Your stomach dropped at the height, and you giggled in exhilaration.

“Don’t count on it. I don’t plan on sharing you with anyone anytime soon.”

He pressed a kiss to your lips and your arms tightened around his shoulders as he began his flight home. You knew that things were not perfect, that Azriel had a lot to atone for, and tough conversations would be inevitable. You could not wait for it–for a future with him.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel fanfic

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maxsimagination · 12 days

Note

jessie fleming x reader being scared of heights

𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙖 - 𝙟.𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜

warnings: fear of heights

a/n: she short y’all sorry

------

it was the dream date, with my favourite person.

jessie and i had been dating for a year, so she surprised me with a recreation of our first date for our anniversary, all that time ago.

we had met through football, playing against each other at a national level, then i moved to portland thorns to play alongside her as a teammate. we hit it off and she’d taken me out for lunch at a local festival.

i was unaware of where we were going, jess didn’t tell me anything apart from how to dress.

when we did get there, however, i knew immediately what it was. the theme park was bigger than the one we went to a year ago, but it was still similar. the giant ferris wheel, slides and rides stuck up over the gates, and people were scattered everywhere.

we parked the car and walked up to the admissions desk. and by walk i mean jessie walked up, while i ran up in excitement.

finally we made it in and i immediately pulled jessie over to the dodgems. it had always been my favourite part of theme parks.

jessie took her time with me, letting me bounce around to each different ride or slide. then she walked us over to the ferris wheel.

i felt a bit nervy about the giant wheel, i was never a fan of heights or being high up in the air.

but i went on the ride anyway, i wanted to try for jessie.

we stepped into one of the carriers, then the door slid closed and we started to move. it was only slowly at first then sped up a bit. it wasn’t really going that fast at all, and it was actually pretty safe, but the irrational part of my brain had taken over. i was convinced that i was going to die if i stayed up here any longer.

jessie must’ve noticed that i wasn’t okay, placing her hand on my thigh with a little squeeze.

“yn, what’s wrong?”

“i- um. the, the height. i’m sacred.”

jessie understood immediately, turning me to look directly at her.

“just look at me. look into my eyes. deep breaths, in and out.”

i followed her instructions, breathing deeply, in and out. i could feel myself relax a little at her words.

when the ferris wheel had reached the bottom of the rotation again, somehow, jessie had managed to get the attention of the staff and they had stopped the ride to let us out.

i let out a sigh of relief when i stepped off the giant death trap, feeling slightly embarrassed now that i thought back on the situation.

jessie didn’t say anything, we just walked around the park for a bit before she brought me to a little green area where there were some other people having little picnics.

we sat down on the grass and jessie pulled out some containers from her backpack.

“i’m sorry jess. i didn’t mean to ruin the date.”

jessie paused what she was doing for a split second, finished unpacking everything then grabbed my hands.

“yn, don’t ever be sorry for something like that. it happens, we get scared of things. it’s completely understandable and you shouldn’t have to be ashamed of yourself.”

her words were too sweet they almost brought me to tears.

“god i love you jess. so much.”

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming imagine

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imtryingbuck · 1 month

Text

Seventy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 3,104

Warnings: angst, heavy use of pet names. fluff. swearing. death (cancer)

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist Series Masterlist

In the fifteen years that has passed Bucky and Y/n became grandparents to a whopping eleven beautiful grandchildren. Each one of them being well and truly spoiled by their grandparents.

Georgia and Billy got married six months after they proposed to each other, two months later they found out they were having a baby. Natalia was born three weeks prematurely, though still tiny she was strong, always kicking her little legs out and had a set of lungs on her. Two years after Georgia gave birth to another baby girl naming her Scarlet after Billy’s favourite superhero character the Scarlet Witch.

Another two years go by and she gives birth to another baby girl named Aurora, or Rory as Y/n always calls her. Four years later Georgia rings her mom to say she’s pregnant again, the whole family getting a shock of a lifetime when they find out that she was pregnant with triplets. Two girls and a boy, Marya, Django and Rebecca, named after Wanda and Pietro’s parents and Bucky’s sister.

Jamie had three children with his now ex-wife, Nicole, though they divorced and she remarried they remained good friends and were amazing at co-parenting with each other. Ryder, Levi and Angel. Angel was born on Bucky’s birthday which he did not shut up about.

Stevie and his boyfriend Ryan had adopted a baby girl when she was a month old, she had the most brightest green eyes Y/n had ever seen. She was born with a cleft lip and her biological mother didn’t want her which was truly a shame as Quinn could melt anyone’s heart just by looking at them.

Sammy and his girlfriend Eva surprised everyone by announcing that she was pregnant, she had been told when she was younger that she was never going to be able to get pregnant which was something she had come to terms with, but she gave birth to a healthy baby boy who they named James, after Bucky and Eva’s dad.

Howard passed away in his sleep two years after Georgia got married. Y/n and Tony held his hands when he passed. He was buried with his one true love, Maria. With Grace on one side and on the other was George and Winnie.

Grace and Bunny’s Haven became successful, another two Havens in different locations had been build and were now being used by men and women. There were plans to build a fourth Haven but it had to be put on hold.

In a year they must have seen hundreds of faces and heard similar stories. No matter how many times she heard them it didn’t stop her heart from aching each time.

Bucky’s and Y/n’s marriage was just as strong as it had ever been, Steve mocked them once for being sickly sweet so Bucky grabbed Y/n by her hand and pulled her into him and kissed her, both putting on a little show for their friends. That was until Georgia was sick.

She was pregnant at the time.

That’s their defence anyway.

The love that they had for each other continued to grow as the years went on. He was still her Ducky and she was still his Bunny. Natalia once asked Y/n if Bunny was her real name and she had to explain that it was a nickname, then explained why her grandpa called her Bunny, the little girl smiled before running to tell Georgia that her grandmas real name wasn’t Bunny.

Two weeks before Y/n and Bucky celebrated their thirty ninth wedding anniversary Y/n started coughing up blood, Bucky rushed her straight to the hospital panic filling his veins the whole time he drove there.

After blood tests were done a doctor sat the couple down and told Y/n that she had cancer. It was terminal.

It took her back to when Maria had been told the same thing, and just like Maria she didn’t cry no she asked questions whilst Bucky held her hand tighter and tighter to the point where it was hurting her but she never once removed her hand away from his. She needed him. Needed him to help ground her.

Y/n begged Bucky not to tell anyone, at least not until after their anniversary which he hesitantly agreed.

They spent their anniversary at the cabin they had been renting for the past thirty nine years to celebrate the date they became one, through the whole week they were there Bucky cried, he couldn’t understand why it was her that had cancer, to him it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she out of all people had been diagnosed with cancer, it’s wasn’t fair after all her kindness and love she shared and gave to others that she was going to be dying a slow death.

He couldn’t understand how she remained so calm throughout her diagnosis and the week they were away.

“I’ve lived an amazing life Ducky, everything will be okay I promise” she told him as she held him in her arms, wiping his tears off his cheeks and kissing his forehead.

A week after finding out that she had terminal cancer she and Bucky sat their kids down, their hearts breaking at seeing and hearing the most important people to them crying, shaking their heads in denial, Y/n got up and grabbed a hold of her children squeezing them into her chest tight, telling them how much she loves each and every one of them. She couldn’t stress enough of how proud she was of them. Bucky joined in on the family hug, all six of them crumbling together on to the floor.

Telling the group plus Tony was difficult too, all of them in denial about what Y/n was telling them. Each of them couldn’t believe that the strongest one out of them all had been diagnosed with a vile disease such as cancer.

Even with getting chemotherapy to try and slow down the cancer she was becoming weaker not like it stopped her from doing her work at Grace and Bunny’s Haven. Bucky tried and failed to get her to slow down but she wouldn’t, couldn’t as she wanted to continue being there for those who came to her for help before she passed.

“Nanny sweetie” Y/n looked down to see Quinn staring up at her with those wide green eyes that she loved so much.

“You want a sweetie darling?”

“Yes pwease nanny”

“Who am I to say no to you huh? Go ahead and get one sweetheart”

“You spoil her too much you know mom” Stevie said as he came into the living room where she was.

“I know I do but look at them cheeks”

Stevie stood by the couch and stared down at his mom, his heart ached at seeing her looking weak, something he never thought he would ever see or say about his mom. To him she was the strongest person he had even known and possibly would ever know. It had been just over a year since her diagnosis and though she was getting chemotherapy it wasn’t doing much other than delay the inevitable.

Two months prior Y/n and Bucky celebrated their fortieth anniversary, their children planned and organised a party for them at their home. Family and friends were all there to celebrate the love and memories of their time together.

Y/n cried at the surprise and seeing all their loved ones all together, Bucky cried knowing it was the last anniversary they were going to celebrate.

“H-how are you feeling today mom?”

“I’m okay don’t worry about me pumpkin”

“Mom-“ he sighed softly he knew she was still putting up a front, still trying to keep up a positive outlook though all those around her could see her smile fading everyday. “How are you, really?”

“I-I’m scared of dying if I’m honest Stevie, b-but like I told your dad I’ve lived a great life so I’m okay with what’s happening”

Stevie sits next to his mom holding her hands as he started to struggle with keeping his tears at bay. The strongest person he knows had just told him that she was scared. He didn’t realise that he had tears falling from his eyes until Y/n reached out and wiped his cheeks.

“Oh don’t cry my dear boy, everything will be okay I just know it”

“B-but you’re going to die mom, your d-dying an-an-and I can’t do anything to s-stop it from happening” Stevie stuttered out, he was always the one out of the four siblings that wanted to help everyone and anyone, he always felt like he had failed somehow if he couldn’t help people.

“St-Stevie look at me- oh my sweet boy everything is going to be okay I promise. You can’t control this and neither can I but everything will be okay”

“B-but what do I do without you momma?”

“Live your life to the fullest, love until your heart and soul are content, make memories and for the love of god keep being yourself Stevie. And when things get tough just look up at the sky night or day and just know I’m looking down on you, even though I’m not going to be here physically doesn’t mean your getting away from me, alright?”

Stevie nods with tears running down his cheeks, hugging his mom tightly and promising her that he will do everything she told him too. They separate when Quinn comes stumbling over with chocolate all over her face, smiling widely not understanding the conversation between her dada and nanny.

A month after having that conversation with Stevie, Y/n took a turn for the worse. Bucky knew the end was near for his Bunny, when that realisation hit him he went to the toilet and puked up.

On Wednesday 20th August, Bucky stood from the doorway watching his wife, his one and true love, his Bunny sleeping in their bed, his coloured eyes went from her face to her chest to make sure it was still rising.

“Y-you watching me sleep Ducky?” Her soft voice whispered filling in the quiet room.

“Of course my sweet Bunny”

“Duck-“

“Not today baby please”

“I-I don’t think I have another d-day in me Duck”

“Pl-please Bun”

Y/n smiled weakly, slowly patting the bed for him to come over. Holding his hand she raised his hand to her lips where she placed a lingering kiss to his knuckles.

“I-I don’t want the kids being in the room when I go Ducky, please promise me that they won’t be here.”

“Why?”

“It’s not fair on them to see me go Ducky, so please promise me”

“I-I promise Bunny, I promise”

Hand in hand for about thirty minutes, Bucky slowly stood and stumbled downstairs to grab his phone. Ringing Georgia his voice shook as he told her that she needed to get everyone to the house so that they could say their goodbyes, leaning heavily against the counter his heart cracking when he could hear his oldest child breaking down on the other end of the phone, he could hear Billy’s voice cracking in the background as he tried to get their children ready.

Coming off the phone to Georgia he rang Jamie to tell him the same, he knew he was currently with the twins. He rang Tony, then Steve asking his longest friend if he could tell everyone else, he simply couldn’t have that conversation once again. Climbing the stairs and heading into their bedroom Bucky sighed a breath of relief when he noticed her chest still rising and falling, he let her know that everyone was on their way.

“Duck, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Every day for the past forty three years” Bucky admits with a smile.

“Thank you for the best years of my life James, you’ve al-always made me happy you know? You’re my world, my light, my better half my love, I’ve lived a life full of happiness and I’ve known true love because of you, so thank you Ducky”

Bucky makes no attempt to wipe the heavy stream of tears away, he tries to find the words to tell her how much she means to him but before he could find them the bedroom door opens revealing his greatest achievements.

Their children.

Bucky sits back and lets his children and best friends say their goodbyes in their own ways, his heart feeling heavier and heavier the longer they are there. He sits there with his hand in hers watching his Bunny smile at each member of their very large family, he knows that she accepted her fate the moment the doctor told her the news, he knows even though she’s scared of death and of the unknown that comes with it, scared of leaving her loved ones behind and of the thought of never seeing any of them again.

Despite the ending of her story coming to an end so soon she still keeps a smile on her lips, trying to show her family that it’s okay, it’s okay that she’s going to be going to sleep soon and never waking back up.

After an hour of being surrounded by the people who meant the world to her she gives Bucky a look silently telling him that it was time. Choking back a sob he tells his children and best friends that they needed to leave, each of them confused until Y/n speaks up and tells them that she doesn’t want any of them being there, each of them trying to protest - fear and the truth of what was happening making them stay in place, until Bucky gave them all a single look.

The family they created stumbled out of the room, holding on to each other. Before shutting the door behind him Tony took one last long at his baby sister, his heart breaking at the sight in front of him.

Bucky climbing into the bed next to his only love clinging to her like a lifeline.

“I love you Bunny, I love you so much Y/n thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be yours. I-I love you, I love you.” Bucky whispers as he sees the eyes belonging to the only woman who he’s ever loved purely and deeply, the woman who he watched give life four times, the woman who gave his life meaning. The woman who he’s loved since he was an innocent little child who didn’t really know the meaning of love, starting to flutter closed.

“I’ll be with you soon my love” he again whispers, so terrified to speak any louder as she would hear the way his voice cracks, he needed to be strong for her. He couldn’t let her down.

Georgia walked into the room with slow timid steps. Falling to her knees with a loud thud she releases a gut wrenching sob which has her brothers, uncles and aunts flinching and bowing their heads.

“Wh-when do we get to give nanny her birthday presents?” Rory asks innocently, completely unaware of why everyone was crying.

Standing in front of so many people, many she knew, many she didn’t. Georgia though her heart ached as she stood at the podium next to her mommas coffin she smiled. Smiled at seeing that so many people had come to say goodbye and pay their respect to her beautiful mom, smiled at seeing them all dressed in bright clothes. Georgia told everyone that she didn’t want anyone wearing black.

Georgia smiled at seeing all the people who had gone to Y/n to seek help had arrived at the church. The air got caught in her throat when she saw the four women and the first man who were the first people to arrive at Y/n’s sanctuary were all sitting together.

“My mom was the greatest woman I had ever met, strong and beautiful. Her heart knew no bounds, she always saw the good in people. My mom was my best friend, the person so many people could turn to for help or a shoulder to cry on o-or just someone to hold them. My mom is and will always be my hero. Her laugh was infectious and so was her smile, my mom would make jokes about things that weren’t really funny but she would laugh and you just couldn’t help but laugh along. She truly was an inspiration to me and too many others. Her love for my dad was beyond words, she loved him so deeply and wholeheartedly, so purely. I am beyond proud to say that I am the daughter of Y/n Barnes”

She looks towards Billy who nods slowly as to encourage her to continue. She wipes the tears from her eyes.

“My dad was incredible, funny, loving and one of the kindest men I had ever met. My dad was the reason why my mom was able to create Grace and Bunny’s Haven, he supported her every step of the way, supported strangers and friends. His love like my mom’s knew no bounds-“ the feeling of her throat drying and closing has her coughing lightly.

“I’m sorry. The love my dad had for my mom was so strong that everyone who knew or just saw them together could see how much he loved her, could see that my mom was his whole world. I am beyond proud to say that I am the daughter of James Barnes”

Looking sadly at her father’s coffin lying right next to her moms she breathes deeply. “On behalf of my family I would like to say thank you to all those that have come today, thank you for donating money towards Grace and Bunny’s Haven, thank you for your kind words and stories of how our parents touched your lives. Tha-thank you”

Steve watches his niece as she steps down from the podium, her hands shaking as she moved towards Billy who stood up and took her hand in his. “I’m so proud of you baby” he whispered into her ear. He smiled at the memory of Bucky doing the same to Y/n when she spoke at Maria’s funeral.

He looks at the two coffins lying there, knowing that his two best friends were in them, knowing that one died of cancer and the other of a broken heart, made his eyes sting with unshed tears.

Y/n passed away in the arms of her Ducky.

Bucky passed away with his arms around his Bunny.

And side by side they were buried next to their parents.

A/N: I was listening to Elvis Presley Bridge Of Troubled Water and Always On My Mind writing their deaths…and when I say I was sobbing I mean I was s. o. b. b. i. n. g.

Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx @kneelforloki @kandis-mom @sagebarness @sandyruston @scott-loki-barnes @nikkivillar @saltedcoffeescotch @scentedharmonymiracle @examinarei @sarcastickiddo @sadboiabby @unholyhuntress @8crazy-freak8 @ijustneedpopcorn @moonbeampillgoth @imcinnamoons @elmo-1066 @violetwinterwidow01 @suz7days @adoredire @ozwriterchick @randomrosie01 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @emerald-writes @justafangir1 @sibsteria @spencerreidisagorgman @sapphirebarnes @bruher @hawkinsavclub1983 @onlyonetifosi @parisadams @unabashedstarlightcrown @nash-dara @allofffmypeaches @loki-laufeyson68 @behindmygreyeyes @missvelvetsstuff @pigeonmama @lizslibrary @gloriouspurpose01 @gaya-is-weird-af @capsbestgirl77

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