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ismokechurros · 3 years

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misunderstandings - ao3

When his mark first appeared, he hated it. He was five and didn't quite like that the first thing he would ever hear his soulmate say would be

"I'm sorry."

What did that mean? Would his soulmate hurt him? Would that be the very first thing they did? That can't bode well for a long term relationship.

Besides that depressing thought, another issue he had with it was how common it was. People apologized every day, how was he supposed to find her?

His first mistake was thinking it was his kindergarten teacher, who apologized after he ran into her feet. It was hard to explain to his parents why he got sent to the principal's office on his first day of school, hugging a teacher's leg and professing your undying love for them isn't exactly a common offense.

After that, he tried not to get too excited when he heard those words. And as time went by, he succeeded. Slowly, his head stopped shooting up everytime someone near him apologized, his heart rate stopped skyrocketing when a passerby said sorry, he grew to feel the general disdain and doubt most feel in accompaniment with apologies.

Those two, meaningless words scrawled at the top of his right bicep were left ignored and he went on forgetting they existed for the better part of 17 years.

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She was five when her mark appeared, too, though that seemed to be a common age for the mark's development so she wasn't exactly surprised. What she was surprised by was the

"You're okay."

now sprawled on the bottom right side of her neck. An odd place for an odd mark.

In her five-year-old indignation, she resented the fact that her mark was telling her what she was. She could be not okay if she wanted to be, who was her soulmate to tell her that she wasn't!

A stupid fight to pick, and one she dropped after about two minutes. That was how long it took before the girl next to Nancy screamed and then started crying. Apparently, Amy didn't like that the first words her soulmate would say to her would be asking for her starbucks order.

Nancy decided it could be worse.

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Working at The Claw can't be that bad, Nancy thinks as she enters the restaurant for her first day at work. She needs to get her mind off of her mother's death and making a few bucks in the process couldn't hurt. Plus, it would help ease the financial burden of college- if she still stood a chance of getting in, that is. Her senior grades (and attendance rate) weren't exactly "Columbia Material", no matter how good her essay was.

Walking from the door to the back room, Nancy makes sure to take into account everything she sees on the way. Two truckers eating greasy cheeseburgers at the counter; a woman drinking coffee alone at a table; a family celebrating their daughter's graduation in a booth. Another reminder of the life Nancy won't get to lead.

Reaching up, Nancy rubs the side of her neck where she knows, under several layers of foundation, there's a reminder that she's okay. Her soul mark has grown to be something of a saviour for her these past couple months. A reassurance everytime it seemed her demons were getting a little too close to snuffing out her light, her crutch at her most debilitating moments. Nancy thinks, whoever her soulmate is, they must be a decent person if they’re able to give her this much comfort.

“Drew! Your uniform’s in the back, I’m not paying you to stand there and look pretty! You did enough of that in high school!”

Ah yes, George. No matter how many times Nancy tries to proclaim her innocence, George refuses to believe she didn’t play a part in spreading the rumors that ruined her life in high school. And honestly, maybe she was right. Nancy may not have spread any rumors, but she definitely didn’t stop them. Maybe she does deserve George’s wrath. Besides, what’s another person added to the list of “People Nancy Drew Has Failed”. George can go right under her mom.

At this rate, she might need to put more foundation on her mark.

“Now, Drew!”

Eh, she’ll do it at lunch.

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One month in and Nancy thinks she’s got the job down pat. She’s at least doing better than some people.

Dishes clatter in the kitchen as pots hit the floor.

“Oops! Sorry!”

Speak of the devil. Nancy goes to the kitchen to help Bess, because Bess has needed nothing but help since the day George gave her the job, but when she opens the door she's met with a peculiar scene.

Bess, the endearing clutz she is, is on the floor trying to pick up the pots but somehow making a bigger mess. Ace, on the other hand, is just staring.

Nancy hasn’t known Ace very long, hasn’t even talked to him directly, but from what she’s seen he’s at least helpful. He cleans up after himself, stays late to do inventory, cleans out the grease traps, all without complaining. Yet here he is, staring at Bess on the floor and doing nothing.

Nancy wants to call out, ask why he isn’t helping, or at the very least say excuse me on her way to help Bess collect the pans, but oddly enough she can’t find the words. She just stares at him with that confused look on her face.

It seems she doesn’t need to say anything, though. As if the question on her face was spoken aloud, Ace snaps out of his reverie and bends to help Bess. He’s smiling at her a little too much, and Nancy can tell where this is heading before he even opens his mouth. She decides to make a clean exit before she’s forced to watch him try and fail to shoot his shot with her royal waitress Bess.

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Nancy just needs a minute. She needs a second to breathe. Serving her high school friends and having to listen to their patronizing and pitying tones while she can hear them laughing the second she turns around is not what she signed up for.

To make matters worse, she’s about one more rub away from her mark making its presence known and she doesn’t need the added stares today. She doesn’t quite understand the taboo of revealing your soulmark to others, but today may not be the best day to tackle generations worth of unnecessary forced modesty.

She rushes through the back door, the mocking sounds of laughter cut off as the door swings shut behind her. Apparently god isn’t on her side, though, because the second the door shuts, the freezer opens and Bess exits carrying boxes stacked a good foot higher than her. Boxes that topple over as she tries to close the freezer behind her.

Normally, Nancy would help Bess out. God knows she’s gotten used to it, and Bess is a nice enough girl that Nancy doesn’t totally hate doing it. But right now, the noise from the boxes is too loud and sounds suspiciously like laughter and Nancy can’t really breathe so she doesn’t think getting near the cold, thin air of the freezer is gonna help her.

And so she ignores Bess’ apologies and pleading eyes and instead barges through the backdoor, hoping to get some much needed air in the alleyway behind The Claw. Instead, she faceplants into a cotton cladded wall.

“I’m sorry.”

She maneuvers around the person she ran into, avoiding eye contact and desperate for some space. She reaches the wall across from the door and puts a hand on the cool brick hoping it’ll help ground her. Leaning forward against the wall, the other hand immediately goes to her neck.

“You’re okay.”

Suddenly, struggling to breathe is less of an issue than not breathing altogether.

Nancy slowly turns and stares at the man who she is destined to spend the rest of her life with.

Ace slowly blinks back.

“Are you okay?” He asks, concerned. Nancy can’t really respond, considering the fact that she can’t breathe.

“Woah, Nancy. You don’t look so hot.” Great, my soulmate thinks I’m ugly. Nancy urges herself to use her actual brain for a second instead of whatever it is she’s using now because obviously that one isn’t working.

Still, she says nothing. Ace takes the silence as an invitation to lean against the wall across from her. They continue to stare at each other; her like a deer in the headlights and him entirely too mellow for someone who just found their soulmate. Unless he didn’t.

That’s not a thought Nancy wants to have. But now that it’s out there, she can’t stop thinking about it. Does it work like that? Can the whole soulmate thing go unrequited? Some memory escapes the precipes of her mind, a brief chapter on soulmate history she had to read for class. It was her senior history class, so she didn’t really pay attention, but she does remember reading something in there about a rare percentage of the population that had one sided soul marks. She also remembers thinking about how sad of a life they must lead.

And it's not like she's wrong about this, especially since Nancy’s heart feels like it’s about to explode and she instinctively knows the only thing that can calm her down is standing there, staring at her with glazed eyes.

“Want one?” Ace asks, materializing a blunt out of seemingly thin air. “They always help calm me down.”

Now the glazed eyes make more sense. Nancy reaches for it without thinking, the brief touch of their fingertips as the weed changes hands works wonders for calming her down. She is finally thinking a little clearer, breathing a little easier. She stands taller and some of the tension escapes her body.

“See? Works wonders for the nerves.”

If he wants to attribute her abrupt demeanor shift to his weed, she won’t correct him. Instead, she thinks about how this is the first real time he has talked to her. She wishes it happened sooner, his voice reminds her of waves crashing on the shore and when he talks she thinks she’s found her happy place. She’s never hated herself more.

Taking a hit, she passes the blunt back to him and relishes in the little contact that brings about. How lame is it that she’s pining for a guy who is destined to be with someone else.

“You seem more relaxed now, if you wanted to talk about anything, I’m here.”

She does. She wants to talk about how she feels more at ease and safe with him, here in this alleyway, than anywhere else; how she hasn’t felt peace like this since her mom died; how he has a calming effect on her that she wishes she could use like a drug; how she’s scared it might become one.

But she can’t talk to him about that at all, because she knows that though her soul finds peace with his, his soul fits better with someone else's. She doesn’t want to guilt him into any half-assed relationship, figures it would be better to become his friend and get to experience the safety and comfort he exudes at a safe arms-length away.

Instead, she talks about the ways everything has gone wrong in the past year (she avoids bringing up how he could have been her first right thing in a while). He listens as he smokes through the whole blunt, his eyes getting heavier as she continues. She’s confident he won’t remember anything tomorrow, thankful she won’t have to explain her near-meltdown. But above all-else, she’s sad. She really is doomed to go through life alone, she doesn’t get anyone to help shoulder her pain. Maybe she doesn’t deserve it.

When she finishes her sob story, he thanks her for sharing it with him. She nods but doesn’t say anything, afraid of what she might reveal if she opens her mouth again.

“DREW!” An angry George calls from inside.

“That’s my cue.” She makes to leave but is stopped by an arm on her hand. She tries to ignore her heart screaming.

“Hey, I really liked talking to you. We haven’t really done that before.”

She nods, trying to make it seem like she just doesn’t want to talk and not like she physically can’t (not while he’s touching her).

He doesn’t let go, though. Instead, he stares at her with more consciousness in his eyes than she thought he would be capable of by now.

“You’re not alone. I don’t know why, but I feel like you need to hear that.” His voice is soft and quiet and warm, low tide at sunrise.

Nancy’s eyes widen (though her heart warms) and he let’s go. She heads inside without another word, hand rubbing her neck on the way in.

Nancy decides to invest in neck ties.

#ndcentral #plz tell me what you think #im desperate for validation #nancy drew #nace #ace x nancy #nancy x ace #soulmates #hiatus week one #also i dont know how to work this app #someone tell me how to post a preview #also please dont judge me too hard i TRIED #nace fanfiction

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toxophilitis · 3 years

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The Night Shift Nurse conclusion

CHAPTER TEN

Nurse Cherry's first night back at the hospital came around long before she was ready for it. She had spent almost the entire weekend in bed with young Doctor Matthew. He was on the day shift starting the morning after Nancy's shift, so he had more time to recover than the glowing woman.

She walked into the hospital ward on automatic pilot. Even before she checked in, she saw two familiar faces beaming at her.

"Hello, Dr. Harbo," she said, grinning over at him and the young candy-striper whom she had gotten to know very well the other night. "I don't know that you two were on today."

The pretty blonde girl waved to Nancy.

"We weren't," the doctor explained, "but this is Kitty's last night at the hospital, and I thought that I would give her the benefit of my years in the medical profession before she goes back to Denver. Helping a future nurse is part of the creed of a true doctor."

"That means that he's going to fuck me again," Kitty whispered as she leaned close to Nancy.

"If you need any help," Nancy giggled, "let me know. I'm always glad to help out a future nurse, too."

"Yeah, I remember. You really helped me the other night, Nurse Cherry. That was neat."

"Maybe later, Nurse Cherry," said the doctor, straightening up as the members of the other shift waked past. "As soon as the evening shift checks out, I want to make the rounds right away. We may have some emergency come up later in the night that will take both of you girls to handle."

"Yes, Doctor," Nancy replied. "Do we have any patients tonight?"

"Just one. A young man checked in early on Saturday. He complained of stomach pains, but they've totally disappeared. If he's okay in the morning, we're going to let him go home."

It was almost an hour before the change over between shifts was complete and the threesome started down the hall for the room on the end.

Nancy squirmed as she worked, day-dreaming about the nice fucking that Dr. Matthew had given her just before she left for the hospital. That huge cock of his was something else up in her tight pussy, but when he wanted to try it up her ass, she had had a case of second thoughts about her eagerness.

Tim didn't just ram his cock up her ass. The young man had gone down on her for what seemed hours, his sweet tongue tenderly bringing her up to orgasm after orgasm, that tongue of his fucking up and down on her erect, sensitive clitty as she screamed out in a wild passion while sitting on his face. Then he switched, lifting her up slightly so he could shove his stiffened tongue into her hot pussy. Nancy came again and again and again. She was limp and weak when he finally rolled her over onto her hands and knees and scooted up behind her.

Even then, the considerate young doctor wasn't through with his oral attack. He spread her legs wide, his mouth bopping to her gash of hot pink tightness once more. His nose was up in the crack of her squirming ass as he licked her through another body-shaking climax. Then his tongue slipped up and started to lick right over the tightly puckered center of her whole.

Nancy remembered that wild sensation, and the young intern had asked her what her fantasies were. Since several of them had been fulfilled during the last week by Tim and other men at the hospital, yet she picked out one that still turned her on when she thought about it. A girl built like Nancy has something that other girls didn't have -- another spot for a man to fuck her. That pair of big soft titties was perfect for a man's nice hard cock to slip beck and forth through.

Tim tit-fucked her, his hugely hard cock spitting off just like she wanted. The jism had covered her face and neck in a wild thrill. It excited the young doctor, too.

He had slid down before he was completely through with his orgasm, ramming his still-stiff prick into her climaxing cunt-hole. Her big tits slid stickily against his almost-hairless chest, the spent cum covering both of them before they were through.

The few hours before she left for work it was his turn to pick the way of doing it. His pick was ass-fucking. The young man's cock was so big that he had never had the chance to fuck a girl up the shit-chute. That was his dream.

Nancy, rocking back and forth as his tongue ran over her quivering shitter, had told him that she would try.

He squirted a coating of slippery baby-oil into the crack of her ass. She rocked gently back and forth as be gently opened her shitter up with his fingers. She reined. Her asshole loosened up. First one finger, then two entered her back-door hole.

She felt a delicate sensation that she enjoyed. That part was fine. She was worried about what would happen when she took the real thing up into her body. He took his time. It was Nancy who finally begged him to go on. To put it in her. To ass-fuck the horny woman.

He was holding his cock pointed straight at her ass when the frantic young nurse pushed back over it, her own motions deciding how much of the monster prick was allowed to sink up into her tight asshole.

Nancy's pussy was throbbing as she remembered that huge hardness sinking ball deep in her ass. It had been like a baseball bat, blunt end first, being shoved up into her asshole. She humped back to him, taking inch after inch of his meaty thickness into her tight, eager shifter. All that tongue-fucking had her so hot that she would have tried anything, as long as it ended with a cock sticking into ha voluptuous young body somewhere. Anywhere.

When the lovely big hunk of his cock was pumping deeply, the entire thickness of his long rigid prick finally surging in and out of her asshole, Nancy was thrilled. Her own fingers were working in her soaking wet pussy, teasing and fucking over her cunt as she drove herself into wild spasms of passion. She pulled him right along with her stunning excitement, her asshole sucking and squeezing.

When he came, it was like the end of the world.

Hot, spurting lava-like fluids sprang up into her body. The burning jism scorching her sensitive shitter way up inside.

She absentmindedly rubbed against the corner of the desk. There wasn't much that could top he weekend that had just had, even if slit walked a little funny right now because of the way her body ached. She'd take a sore as anytime, if she could get off over and over again like she had the last two days.

"Nurse Cherry?" she heard the little voice of the young candy-striper calling to her.

"I'm sorry, Kitty. What?"

"Doctor says for us to start the rounds now," the little blonde girl said as she touched the woman's arms. "Are you okay, Nancy?"

"Yes," she cooed. "I was just thinking."

"About what I think you were thinking about?"

"Yes," she answered. "How could you tell?"

"Your nipples are about to burst through the uniform!" Kitty giggled as she accidentally brushed the back of her hand over the nurse's bugling nipples.

Looking around again to make sure they weren't being watched, the nurse smiled to little Kitty.

The girl took her nod for approval, letting her hand drift down until her fingers were in the cleavage between her big soft titties. She teased there for a few seconds, her eyes looking deeply into Nancy's. Her other hand was slipping up under her own skirt, blocked from view by the desk they were leaning against. When her hand finally pulled away both of them were shivering and breathing a little harder.

Kitty put her hand up on Nancy's cheek. Her middle finger was all coated with pussy-juice.

As they looked at each other, Nancy licked off the tasty juice.

They heard a sound, suddenly jerking apart as they tried to act like normal. Luckily, it was someone who already knew about their passions for each other. It was Dr. Harbo.

"Ladies?" Dr. Harbo called. "Are we ready for a little examination?"

"I'm ready for about anything," Kitty whispered as she turned and waked over to the doctor.

The night nurse was in the lead, with the pretty blonde candy-striper following the horny doctor.

"Go ahead, Nurse," he said as he made a quick turn and shoved the grinning candy-striper into an empty room.

Nancy gave them a few minutes to get started, then she peeked into the room to see what was happening. She saw the young candy-striper bending over the bed where Dr. Harbo was stretched out totally naked. The pretty blonde girl was sucking on the man's raging hard cock as she cupped his balls. Her blouse was unbuttoned, those perfect titties out in the open for the doctor to play with as he enjoyed her oral attention.

Catching Kitty's eye, Nancy looked at the younger woman. When the questioning look came, she shook her head. Like the doctor said, not right now.

Like the first time when she had peeked in on the doctor and the young candy-striper, Nancy felt the urge to touch herself. Nancy slid behind the door and pulled up her dress. She had on a pair of frilly, side-tie panties tonight that she had bought for the express purpose of letting some guy take off.

"Jesus, Kitty," the doctor groaned. "Don't stop, honey! Lick on my cock some more! Suck it!"

As Nancy watched, finger-fucking herself wonderfully, the young candy-striper pulled off her own panties and skirt before hopping up on the bed and dropping her blonde pussy down over the doctor's face.

Kitty looked over to Nancy, her tongue licking out naughtily in a long, swiping motion over the man's hard-on. Nancy knew just how nice that tongue could feel.

Again, Kitty smiled at her. She knew that the obscene licking was an invitation for her to come on in and join them. Kitty would be happy to lick them both off. Pussy or cock was the same to the young nymphet. It was a struggle to turn and walk away, but Nancy had a patient to look in on. Besides, it looked like little Kitty was taking care of the situation all by herself.

Here we go again, Nancy thought as she left them alone. This was exactly how last week had started. She looked in on the blonde girl with Dr. Harbo's throbbing cock running in and out of her mouth. She only hoped that this week, and all the weeks to come, would turn out to be as sexually fulfilling as the last one had been.

Turning into the next room, the nurse tiptoed up to the bed. She was just about to speak when the patient rolled over and stared up at her.

Nancy looked at him, for a moment thinking that it was Eddie back.

"How are you feeling, uh, Adam," Nancy said as she picked up his chart. "Have your pains returned?"

"I'm fine," he answered with a startled expression, staring up at the well-built woman as she came closer to him. "I'm bored, and ready to check out of here."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the nurse talked to the young man for a few minutes.

Nancy wondered why he kept on his side, but she didn't want to ask the good-looking young man. Finally, he rolled over onto his back.

Nancy saw the problem. A magazine was hidden under the sheet. She got a quick peek at it as he turned. The young man had been looking at a skin magazine, ogling the pictures of pretty, naked women as he rested in the hospital bed in the middle of the night.

He also tried to bide something sticking up through the sheet at his waist ft looked like a bulge. The nurse knew what that meant.

Reaching out, Nancy smiled and slid the magazine out into the open. There were pictures of women, all right, but it was a special magazine, with all the models built like Nancy with big beautiful tits.

"It looks like you're getting better," she said with a smile, looking down at the bulge in the sheet.

"I guess," he laughed.

The scene seemed to be very familiar to Nancy as she tossed the magazine to the bedside table. With her eyes on him, she unbuttoned a couple of buttons on the top of her uniform to let more of her full tits hang out, sliding closer to the patient as she scooted her wiggling ass up on his bed.

"Can't sleep?" she asked, her hand resting innocently on the young man's thigh.

When he blushed, Nancy's hand moved forward a few inches and started caressing the long tube of cock-meat that she felt sticking up through the sheet. It throbbed in her hand. Yes, the horny nurse thought, as she slipped under the sheet, her fingers touching the smooth, naked hardness of a new man's throbbing cock, here we go again.

THE END

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lesbianrobin · 4 years

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Do you think the fandom exaggerates Steve's daddy issues? As someone who likes talking about his family life a lot I personally think its a 50-50 situation, because he does seem to have a strained relationship with his dad but based on whatever very little info is canon about his father its hard to tell if its because his dad is really neglectful or if hes actually a well meaning but strict dad whos spoilt son doesnt get him. I wanna know your thoughts about it.

So to start off: Thank you for sending this ask! It’s a fun question.

I wouldn’t personally use the term “exaggerate” in this situation, because it implies to me the twisting of canon events for dramatic effect. In the case of Steve and his father, we don't have much that is actually canon, and the canon that we do have leaves room for a wide range of possible scenarios. Rather than exaggerating Steve’s daddy issues, I think that it’s more accurate to say that people are choosing whichever interpretation of canon best suits their own personal desire. Some of these interpretations are more dramatic than others, but for the most part, they tend to be within the realm of canon possibility.

First, let’s go over what we actually have in canon.

Steve's mother doesn't trust his father not to cheat. Tommy says she shouldn’t trust him, which tells us that Steve’s father has cheated in the past. Tommy’s the one who says it, which tells us that either Mr. Harrington’s infidelity is an open secret in Hawkins, or Steve found out about his dad’s cheating at some point in his life and vented about it to his friends.

During the party in S1, Tommy and Carol go up to Steve’s mom’s room. Not his parents’ room, but his mom’s, meaning that their marriage has been rocky for long enough that they have established separate bedrooms in the house. Steve tells them they can go use her room as long as they change the sheets and Tommy/Carol mention that the room has a fireplace, meaning that since the establishment of separate bedrooms, his parents have gone out of town enough times for Tommy and Carol to be familiar with his mother’s room and know where her spare bedsheets are.

At first, Steve is more worried about getting in trouble with his dad than he is about Barb. Later, when he goes to apologize to Nancy for this attitude, he tells her that he did get in trouble with his dad. He’s still able to move about Hawkins freely and he seems to be physically and emotionally fine, so we don’t know what getting in trouble with his father entails, besides the fact that he either isn’t grounded or he’s disobeying his father to go see Nancy.

Steve spends Christmas with the Wheelers rather than with his own family. This isn’t a big point, maybe his family doesn’t celebrate, or it was a “spend the 24th with these people and the 25th with these other people” situation, but it’s also a possible indicator of extreme tension and distance within his family.

Steve’s only comments about his father have been negative, calling him an asshole or a douchebag. He only speaks about his father in reference to punishments and the fact that he could “work for his dad” after high school, presumably in some sort of office job or profession, an offer that his father turns out to not extend as evidenced by Steve’s minimum wage job hunting in S3.

Most importantly to personal interpretation of their relationship: Steve is the only main character in S1-S2 whose parents we never see. The only other underage character whose parents we haven’t met is Robin, who’s only been in one season so far and whose family life hasn’t been referenced. The fact that we never see Steve’s parents in the course of three seasons (during which Steve gets incredibly visibly injured three separate times and spends entire nights away from home on multiple occasions) fosters a sense of distance, even if it's unintentional on the writers’ part, and implies that they are very uninvolved in him and his life.

Cheating on a partner doesn’t automatically make you terrible at being a parent, but it doesn’t indicate strong morals and implies that Steve’s dad isn’t as committed to his family as he should be. Steve’s parents are sleeping in separate rooms and Steve knows about his dad’s infidelity, which implies that his parents either don’t try or don’t do a very good job of keeping their marital issues from affecting him.

Getting in trouble with his dad might mean just getting a stern parental talking-to, or it could mean some form of emotional/psychological abuse, or some classic 80s corporal punishment, or perhaps Steve got grounded and was actually digging himself a deeper hole by running around town to see Nancy, Carol, and Tommy. We don’t know! They’re all possible! All we have to go on is Steve’s word. Maybe Steve is just a spoiled teenager who gets pissy when he has to face consequences. Maybe his dad is neglectful, or cruel, or maybe he’s just a middle-of-the-road dad who sometimes sucks and is trying his best.

The thing is that, as viewers, we don’t know Steve’s dad, but we do know Steve. We know that S1 Steve was a little sad and pathetic, and he hung around with friends who he knew were assholes because he wanted to be popular and cool. We’ve seen Steve spend over 48 hours away from home (hunting Dart with Dustin in S2, the elevator situation in S3) without ever mentioning that he has to lie to his parents or that they might be concerned about him. We’ve seen him get his ass beaten to hell and back without any adults ever taking a second to ask if he’s okay. We’ve heard him call his dad an asshole and a douchebag.

I think that the writers probably intend for Steve’s dad to be a pretty “normal” dad, just a little too strict and not quite involved enough in his son’s life, or they intend for Steve to sound like an ungrateful spoiled kid. These interpretations, however, are a bit charitable to a character we’ve never met at the expense of invalidating the perception of a character we know and love. They’re perfectly valid interpretations! Steve is a spoiled rich kid! It’s also completely reasonable, though, to choose less charitable interpretations.

Since our only information about this character is negative and we never actually meet him, we have no way of invalidating or refuting Steve’s perception of his father. All we really know is that Steve doesn’t like or respect him, that he cheats on his wife, and that he’s rich, which is plenty to then extrapolate that he’s an incredibly shitty dude,and boom, we’re writing emo fics all about Steve’s extreme daddy issues!

#long post #em talks #asks #stranger things #steve harrington #lesbianrobin.canon

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peterthepark · 5 years

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You’re My Dream

Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Bathing suits, beaches, and sun tans - spring break was supposed to be fun. Steve shows you how to look past your imperfections, and accidentally professes his love for you.

Warnings: sensitive topics about body image, FLUFF

A/N: I love all of you, and I hope that you know that you are beautiful. No matter what you look like. I see beauty. Requested.

Seagulls cawed above you, flapping their feathery wings as they glided gracefully against the blue Miami sky. In the distance, the soft waves crash against the shore, tipping over a sandcastle that Will and Eleven had made yesterday evening. It’s a bright morning as you sit on the ledge of the bedroom window. The white curtains brush against your calf, wind brushing through your hair.

You and Steve managed to convince Hopper and Joyce to take the kids on a vacation to his family’s beach house. After all, it was their spring break, and everyone was in dire need of a getaway from Indiana. There’s a knock at your door; you turn your head to see Steve, with his giant bedhead, eyes still rimmed with sleep.

“I made breakfast.” He smiles at you, swaying by the doorway. He gestures behind him with his thumb, “D-do you wanna join me?”

“Yeah. Of course, Steve.” You hop off the ledge, feet landing on the hardwood floor as you follow Steve into the living room. There’s plates of waffles and bacon on the coffee table, and you thank Steve as he hands you a cup of orange juice. The blankets on the couch rustle as you and Steve sit beside one another, and you chuckle at how he eagerly eats at a crunchy piece of bacon.

The food looks good, yet some part of you didn’t want to eat at all. You’ve always thought about cutting back of sweets and sugar, just to feel healthier. And to look better. There’s an uneasiness in your chest when you pick up the fork, stabbing at a tiny part of your waffle. Steve doesn’t fail to notice the way you study the piece of food, and how you swallow it hesitantly. He doesn’t mention it, not wanting to assume anything.

“So, do you wanna go to swimming at the beach today?” He asks, bumping his foot against yours. “I think the kids are staying here. We can finally hang out without babysitting.”

You and Steve have been friends for years - from elementary to high school, he’s had your back for everything. However, at some point during freshman year in Hawkins High, you began to grow feelings for him. Steve was undoubtedly handsome, smart, and kind. But you were always his friend, his wing woman, the person that he cried on when Nancy Wheeler had hurt him. The thought of hanging out with Steve brought butterflies to your stomach. Being with him would bring you nothing but joy. But swimming? It sent a whirlwind of dread through your bones.

What if he didn’t like my swimsuit?

Or the way I looked in it?

“You okay, Y/N?” He pokes at your knee with his spoon, sporting a look of concern as he chews on his food. “If you don’t wanna go swimming, that’s okay. We can go for a walk by the shore instead.”

Thank you.

“I’d like that.“ You break his stare, and push your plate away as you move to the kitchen to get water. “The weather seems nice... today.”

Steve drops his spoon onto the table, causing you to jump at the sudden clatter. He turns to you, propping his knee up on the couch. You look at him with wide eyes, confused. “Y/N, is there something bothering you?”

“No, I told you I’m fine, why would you say that?” You scoff at him. You take a pillow into your lap when you sit down, wrapping your arms around it as you start to feel self conscious.

“You’re talking about the weather. When have we ever talked about the weather?” He waves his hands about, before dragging them through his hair while he stares at you. “You’ve barely touched your food, either. And I make good breakfast, Y/N. You always eat whatever I cook.”

“I guess I’m not hungry.” You shrug defensively, furrowing your eyebrows at Steve. “I’m gonna go get ready before the kids wake up.”

Steve watches as you leave the couch and shut your bedroom door behind you. It’s too quiet now, and Steve can finally feel his thoughts buzz around in his head. He knew something was up for a while now, but he’s been too scared to bring it up - fearful of saying something wrong or chasing you off. He lingers in the living room for a few minutes, pacing back and forth behind the couch as he waits for you to come out.

But you don’t.

Worried, he steps closer to your bedroom door, and his face softens when he hears curses of frustration from your side. The door creaks open as he peeks inside, and his heart breaks at the image.

You stand in front of the full-length mirror by the bed, pinching and prodding at your hips with long sighs. You haven’t noticed Steve’s presence, too fixed on your body to see your best friend leaning against the wall. You stand in nothing but a bra and shorts, and it’s not the first time that Steve’s seen you like this - only, it’s the first time that he’s seen you look at yourself with nothing but distaste.

“You’ve always been beautiful to me.” He pipes up, flashing you a faint smile when you whip around to face him.

“Steve!” You grab a blanket from your bed, wrapping it around your front.

“Y/N, please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you. Please?” He steps towards you, plopping down onto your mattress as he looks up at you intently.

“You’re not gonna care.” You glance away from him, pulling the blanket tighter around your chest.

“I do care. Anything that has to do with you, I care.” He huffs, before he takes your hands into his. “Y/N?”

One look into Steve’s brown eyes and you begin to cry. Without question, he pulls you into his lap, resting your head in the crook of his neck. Your heart feels heavy and your head starts to pound from your sudden rush of tears. All Steve does is hold you, shushing your sobs with a kiss to your cheek.

“Hey, hey. I’m here. Talk to me.” He lifts your head off of his shoulder, pushing away your dampened hair from your face. He studies your features, grinning softly at how beautiful you seemed to be even through tears.

“I’m just... I don’t feel okay.” You begin to confess, placing a hand on the back of Steve’s neck to play with his hair. “I don’t feel like I’m my best self, you know? I look in the mirror and - and all I can see is a flaw. Everyday. There’s something new wrong with me.” Afraid, you muster the courage to lock eyes with Steve. He clenches his jaw, gaze wandering over your lips. “I look at the girls you’ve been with and I’m nothing like them. I’m not as - as perfect as Nancy or - or anyone you’ve ever liked. Then, I look at myself and I think, why can’t I be like that?”

Steve sighs, running a hand up your arm. “Do you wanna know what I see when I look at you? I see the girl across my street, the girl that I grew up with, who blossomed into a beautiful woman once freshman year of high school started.” He caresses your cheek, brushing his thumb under your eyes. “Y/N, I look at you and I can only see beauty. Fuck everyone else. Fuck what - what people say or think about you. I don’t see a single flaw.”

You chuckle in disbelief, before Steve hooks his finger beneath your chin. “I mean it, stubborn girl. You’re gorgeous. So fucking gorgeous.” He pauses, shutting his eyes for a second. “I love you. All of you.”

“Steve, I just wish I could look at myself the way you do.” You utter, stepping off from his lap. You move to stand by the mirror, letting the blanket fall from your grasp. “There’s days where I struggle to see myself as - as pretty, and there’s days where I do, but shit... it’s rare.”

“I don’t expect you to believe me right away. But I want to do everything in my - in my freakin’ power to show you just how much I admire you.” He says, before he comes to stand behind you. He puts his hands on your shoulders, the pads of his fingers grazing over your collarbones. “Everytime I look at you... I think to myself, ‘Damn, that’s my best friend. Damn, she’s beautiful.’” He kisses the top of your head. “And then I also think, ‘Damn, I’d give anything in Hawkins for her to be my girlfriend.’”

“You... you like me?” You swivel on your feet to look at him. The corners of your lips pull upwards into a soft grin, which sends an earthquake through Steve’s heart.

“Y/N, I thought I made it really clear that I’m practically in love with you.” He laughs loudly, before he lowers his voice. “You’re my dream.”

“Really?”

“I swear.”

There’s a longing in Steve’s eyes as he peers down at you. You tiptoe forward, your lips barely graze against his. He clutches at your skin, breathing lightly against your face.

“Can I kiss you later? At the beach? During sundown?” He mutters, chuckling when he bumps his forehead into yours. “I wanna be romantic with you.”

You can’t help but smile at that, letting out a small scoff at Steve’s lovely yet humorous request.

“It would be my dream, Steve Harrington.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington fluff #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things imagine #stranger things one shot #stranger things fluff #x reader

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clericbyers · 5 years

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gay will, comphet + mike, and growing up

this turned out to be LONG but here’s something I’ve been thinking about concerning Will, Mike, Castle Byers, D&D, and the end of ST3.

I don’t think Will realizes his feelings for Mike aren’t friendship until that argument in 3x03. Or rather, it’s a special friendship, he obviously knows he feels differently but I don’t think he realizes what that different is until Mike throws it in his face. He goes on dates with Mike in the theater, comes home and professes he’s not gonna fall in love. Love is a grown up thing, he’s seen love hurt his mother repeatedly and complicate his friendships with Mike (and Lucas when he also refuses to play D&D). He doesn’t want to grow up and fall in love because then he has to face what love is for himself and in turn, realize the feelings, the close unique friendship he has with Mike is in fact love.

While I don’t believe Mike knows Will is gay and was being homophobic, he most definitely points out a major difference between himself and Will: Will has shown no interest in girls unlike everyone else in the party. Will isn’t following the path to growing up like everyone else. He’s not getting a girlfriend to fall in love with and grow old together with. He’s not pulling away from the games they both use to hide in fantasy and escape the real world. Mike wants Will to grow up with him but poor traumatized Will can’t. He can’t face the next stage in his growing up story because it’s a deviant path that may cause him to lose his friends. He’s always had a different path and the Upside Down and his shadow walking powers (going between the Upside Down and our world without traveling through portal) proved that his childhood was never going to be the same as his friends.

When Mike asks if Will thought they were never gonna get girlfriends and simply continue playing games, he’s not just saying “did you think we were never gonna grow up,” he’s also saying that the we, the party, is supposed to move on from each other. Will suddenly realizes that Mike implies them not being together, not even just romantically but even as the close friends they are. I think it’s also important to see how Mike views romance too. His parents argue all the time, his dad essentially does nothing to help and his mom doesn’t even love Ted anymore (I mean she was completely ready to cheat on Ted with Billy, that’s basically the final straw). Karen is only in this marriage for her children. Mike sees no love there. He sees his sister sneaking boys into her room, forbidden teenage romance with spicy parental rebellion mixed in. Further forbidden love in a way with Nancy—the popular pretty girl with an image to maintain—falling for the “creep with the camera”. Mike knows all of this and mind you in s1, El looked a lot like a boy, so many people thought she was a boy with her androgynous looks. Mike still liked her anyway. Thought she was pretty with and without the wig. Looking like a girl and looking like a boy. She was forbidden (pre)teen romance with spicy parental rebellion mixed in. She was the weirdo with powers, powers to help get Will back. She fits right in to what Mike expects love to be like while also helping him save his best friend and in turn keep caring for and loving him. Will means a lot to Mike, maybe more than he realizes, but El is there to help him have Will and the next step of his romantic/teen life.

Back to Will and Mike’s garage argument though. Mike implying that he expected everyone to move on from each other kills every single possibility in Will’s mind that Mike might possibly, just maybe, be open to Will. And Will says, “yeah I guess I did,” which is heart breaking because he thought it would be them against the world, he thought he would never have to face the truth of his feelings but he has to now. Because Mike has brutally forced him to. “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls,” burns like nothing else. It is Mike’s fault.

So Will escapes to Castle Byers, which is his safe haven, a place to escape from the crushing weight of the real world. A place built after Lonnie left, a place full of pictures of his friends, of the people he loves, the people who protect him and saved him twice. And the ghostbusters picture hurts the most because that was the night Mike said they would go crazy together. And Will, poor traumatized and scared Will, was so stupid to think that meant something. To think he meant something more to Mike, who tossed “crazy together” away because growing up doesn’t include that. Being in love with each other is crazy, it’s not the proper path. And Mike, whether suppressing his feelings and being swayed by comp het or genuinely not having any romantic feelings for Will, is not willing to venture the deviant path with Will anymore. Not when he has safety with El. Will falls apart in the storm using the bat Lonnie had that symbolizes trying to “straighten” Will out. Will is trying to destroy his crush, his feelings for Mike. He’s calling himself stupid, calling Mike stupid, calling their friendship stupid. He’s not gonna fall in love, he’s not gonna let that stupid emotion ruin his life.

I also think Will refusing to talk about things with Lucas is because they really do have more important things at the moment. For Will to address the issue means confessing his secret about his sexuality, which could ruin his friendships and the party itself. They don’t have the time for that, Will has to put aside his feelings to keep the group together and defeat the part of the Mind Flayer still in this realm.

By the end when the Byers move out, Will has accepted his crush on Mike, which is part of the changes that are happening to the Party. I don’t know yet if the acceptance means he’s able to get over it or not; season 4 will let us know as distance often helps with getting over things like heartbreak and s4 is supposed to have a more Will centric storyline given he’s split from the others now. Mike might be realizing his own feelings here at the end (what with his utterly awkward confusion about El kissing him as if they were back together) but Will has already decided that it’s not gonna be a thing. He lets Mike have his safety in El and if he ever wants to take the deviant path, keep playing games, they can do so on Mike’s terms.

The games thing I wanna point out as important too. We know Mike and Will use D&D to hide from the issues in their life. Mike hides from the bullying he faces and his arguing parents, Will hides from bullying and facing his sexuality issues. D&D then comes to life when the Upside Down steals Will both in body and in mind. The game is real, there’s no escaping it. Mike and Will both take on their paladin and cleric roles in subtle but also obvious ways throughout s1 and s2. When Mike attempts to stop being a paladin, he “ruins the party”. When he gets his shit together and starts being a better leader and more understanding of his party’s importance, he slips back into his D&D role. Mike is the Dungeon Master too, he creates the story, the campaign, the world the Party lives in. Will draws it out and brings it to life (literally if you wanna say he created the monsters of the Upside Down). When Mike stops crafting, Will picks up the pieces. But D&D is a group game, you need a full party to survive. Fighting the Mind Flayer requires everyone. When everyone gathers at the mall, the campaign truly begins because now everyone is playing. The Mind Flayer in this world is dead but El’s powers are depleted, Will’s powers have yet to come to full fruition, and the Russians (as we learn) have at least one demogorgon. The campaign is still going on.

When Mike talks to El after the chat with Will, he says when she visits they’ll hang out and he includes Will and says they will play games and then he stops himself and says he sounds like he’s 7. Mike is trying so hard to be grown with El, but he associates games and youth with Will. He wants to play games with Will, he wants that—whatever that is—with Will but he can’t let himself have it because he’s not a kid anymore. If anything, Mike is so confused at the end while Will and El are both at comfort concerning their love lives. Will has accepted his feelings and moving away/on (he confidently flirts with Mike with the conversation about not joining another party) El has accepted she loves Mike too (she kisses him happily and is no longer mad at him for being an asshole), but Mike is discombobulated (shy and kinda flustered by will’s lingering gaze while confused by El’s kiss after he doesn’t remember saying he loves her).

Back to Will to close this out. Will may never find another party, he’ll never stop loving Mike, but he’s not going to be a love sick fool anymore. And maybe that is Will’s next step in growing up, accepting his sexuality and letting himself move on from childish infatuation—because Mike saved him repeatedly and kept taking care of him and staying close and touching him and god, it would be impossible for Will not to love him—to honest deep emotion, understanding that Mike isn’t at that stage yet, may never be, but he won’t tether his relationship with Mike to unrequited love. Hopefully in season 4 we get Will coming out to his folks, maybe having a high school romance of his own, before the inevitability that is the Upside Down reaches him in his new town.

#will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #byler #byeler #gay will byers #st3 #st spoilers #yams speaks #yams writes #just me being introspective #i still dont know if mike has his own sexuality issues #but just gnna say that bisexuality in a main character would be nice #esp when the issue is normal vs sin bc then what is mike if hes both?#anyway i love will #otp: palaric

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tbhwhocaresanymore · 4 years

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Nancy Drew 1x15

I HAVE FINISHED THE NEW NANCY DREW EPISODE AND NOW NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

LET’S GO.

Okay I will start with my three disappointments. First, I was hoping when they were going down the “you don’t have first-hand exp with the Aglaeca spirit” path they would bring in Victoria. They did not. WRITERS. WHERE IS MY DYSFUNCTIONAL CLAIRVOYANT. Two, they went to the historical society. They MENTIONED HANNAH GRUEN. And then she just wasn’t there, and I was Let Down. Three, Owen and Nancy had sex.

...

No further comment.

Alright to break this down, I thought this episode was fantastic. Nancy coughing up teeth was so metal (the seaweed was a little gross) and they brought back fan favorite Ace’s dad. Side note, I really love what this show does for sign language, just how it is so casually interwoven. And also Ace and his dad’s shock to see Nick knew it, pointing out how uncommon it is which is kind of sad when you consider it’s one of deaf people’s only means of communication. Maybe now that Karen is you know ARRESTED Ace’s dad whose name I do not know will be our point person on the police since the writers have apparently become allergic to Chief McGinnis.

Speaking of Ace, him and Nick being all dude detective duo this episode was fantastic and I loved it. Pair them up more often. And even though I have no idea if they’ll ever be written romantically or not, Nancy has exponentially more chemistry with Ace than with Owen and I would much rather see them explored. I also want to know if anything has even really changed since the last time Owen and Nancy kissed. He asked her out and she said no, and we didn't see what happened the morning after this time around but she clearly spent the night. Bess is bound to bring it up since she spent the night at Nancy’s house and Nancy wasn’t there, and also Owen is her cousin.

I love the bond between Nancy and her dad, it has grown so much and is so beautiful. Her absolute faith and conviction in his innocence and belief that she will get him out of this, especially when he seems to have given up. *chef’s kiss*

I will say going back to Ace and Nick’s detective work, why didn’t they just go ask Claire in prison? “Hey you know how you murdered a bunch of people? We’ll knock like five years off your I presume lifelong sentence if you tell us if you sold this guy poison.” Like admittedly she didn’t, but they didn’t know that at the time. And CAN WE TALK ABOUT KAREN? As soon as it was revealed it was her, I knew she must have known about Ryan and Lucy’s fight before Nancy gave her the emails. Lucy started drawing away after the Velvet Masque but she and Ryan were already dating when he took her, which is probably something Lucy would have told her best friend. And honestly I feel the poison was a little justified? Like at this point Ryan obviously didn’t kill Lucy because the writers know that’s what we’re expecting, but he was involved somehow and if my best friend had been murdered twenty years ago, the case was still unsolved, and her billionaire ex boyfriend was involved and untouchable? I may have also slipped the friend’s brother an untraceable poison. On that note, I love how the writers brought back the Claire episode. At the time we were like, oh it’s just a fun little killer of the week one-off episode, and now a few weeks later here they are like “PSYCHE. What, you thought everything we did wouldn’t have a meaning? Fools.” And honestly, more power to them. I support this kind of intricate planning it speaks to my obsessive perfectionism.

Everything except the Mr. Drew x Karen romance apparently 😂. Like they really did just include that in the pilot to create more drama between Nancy and her dad didn’t they?

Since it turns out Bess is a founder’s descendant, maybe she will be more interested in Marvin family history, get involved in the historical society and we will see Hannah Gruen more often. Make it happen writers. On the topic of Bess, please tell me someone gets that girl a therapist for her kleptomania before she breaks into a museum. Or a bank. Or a mausoleum. Or something high profile.

I did really want to see the Aglaeca, I was looking forward to seeing how costume and makeup pulled it off, but the blackness spreading through the water was really cool too. And considering this episode ended with Nancy like coughing up seaweed for not paying the toll, maybe we will see the spirit next episode as the gang tries to appease it? Let’s talk about the toll for a minute. Did the Aglaeca want to kill Owen or just like want a blood donation? Why? And if it demands a victim for every favor it grants, I can see why the ritual was not handed down through the generations.

NANCY AND NICK. Oh the moments were sparse but they were quality. At the beginning, watching the fight footage when Nick tensed up and Nancy looked away, and she almost rested her head on his shoulder. His continued concern for her. Nancy’s immediately going to the police station when he texted, compare and contrast with episode 7 when Nick kept calling and she kept ignoring. Nick’s reaction when Nancy was about to drink the “poison”.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT ACE’S LEVEL OF TRUST IN NANCY TO STRAIGHT UP DRINK POSSIBLE POISON. COME ON NOW.

George had a very small role this episode which is not exceedingly unusual, but she was funny to watch, falling for Nick, and a great friend to Nancy. All good things. I just hope she doesn’t fall too hard for Nick, since he and Nancy will most likely eventually find their way back to each other. Maybe she can get together with Ace since I ship him with literally everyone apparently. I also like how they brought back that blood bucket she kicked I was beginning to wonder if they’d forgotten about it.

One last thing guys where tf is Josh? Like he walked into a cabinet thing and vanished, maybe Karen is storing him somewhere. Also HOW DID HE SURVIVE GETTING FUCKING ELECTROCUTED. HOW.

Could we really be solving Lucy’s murder next week in The Haunting of Nancy Drew? We will now discuss possible suspects and where the show could go after this.

The episode summary reads “blah blah using forensics and spn stuff Nancy unravels what happened the night Lucy died.” I am going to discount the Hudsons as suspects since we already know they’re involved via the seance.

Owen Marvin. We know the Marvins have family secrets and shady pasts, he is about the same age as Lucy/Ryan and if there was some sort of love triangle

Holy fuck.

Hear me out.

Okay what if Owen was in love with Lucy, and he somehow broke them up (there was a fight and Lucy broke up with Ryan, but in the emails Ryan calls Lucy the whore, so I’m thinking there was definitely some sort of misunderstanding) and he went to profess his love and she turned him down and he killed her? AND NOW, assuming Nancy is Lucy (and Ryan’s) daughter that’s why Owen is so determinedly romancing her? I have absolutely no proof for this theory and it probably didn’t happen since he is helping them out with the investigation but I like it anyway.

There is Lucy’s mother, who I am now convinced was involved because of her trance thing last episode. You can read my last review for more detail (it’ll be under my Nancy Drew tag) but basically upon seeing crime scene photos of Lucy she started singing the Lucy Sable song and was very focused on how Lucy is in the water. And sure parents go crazy over their children dying, but this feels like a little bit more than that? In the transcripts Lucy said if anything happened to her it would be her mother’s doing, and we know they had some kind of falling out before she died over her dating Ryan.

Katherine Drew 😈. Again no evidence but I like to speculate. She was Lucy’s guidance counselor, it gives Mr. Drew a reason to not try very hard to defend himself, to spare Nancy the pain of her mom being a killer. It would make such great drama. That’s it those are the reasons.

Let’s take a moment to examine some untied threads that could be pulled upon in the solving of this murder. Lucy and Josh are only half-siblings, but we don’t know via which parent. So maybe Lucy’s biological mom/dad could have somehow been involved. There are the emails between her and Ryan following the unknown betrayal (you’re a whore like everyone says). I think this one could be tied to what Candice Weaver (sea queen runner up) mentioned, about how there were rumors Lucy slept with the judges to win the title. Maybe Ryan’s parents, especially his mother, were trying to discredit Lucy or frighten her off? Ryan was scheduled to meet with Lucy the night of her death, maybe he saw something he hasn’t come clean about. Back to Josh, right after Lucy died some developers offered Josh and his mom a LOT of money for their house. We know the Marvins deal in real estate, maybe they were trying to get them out of town to cover up for Owen? We also still don’t know for sure how Lucy died, maybe she wasn’t even stabbed at all. And finally, the crown Nancy’s forensic chemist friend examined proves that a woman was up there on those cliffs (KATHERINE DREW) with Lucy because the hair that wasn’t Lucy’s came from a female.

Assuming we do indeed find out who killed Lucy next episode, here are some things the writers could fill the last six episodes with or use to set up season two/things I really want to happen. The episode where Nancy broke into the morgue Ace mentioned Lucy haunts it, looking for her body. Three kids broke in a few years ago, one died, one went missing, one went insane. It was mentioned once and never picked up again. Since Lucy apparently knew where her body was this whole time, maybe a different spirit haunts the morgue and Lucy just gets the blame cause she’s famous. There is George’s blood bucket, which I admit was brought up this episode, but aside from that has not been touched since episode 4. George and Nick’s relationship, Nancy and Owen’s relationship, the Bess/Lisbeth/Amaya love triangle. Whatever sort of closure Mr. Drew needs from Karen or something idk. George could start to become psychic like her mother. There’s the trial of Mr. Hudson for the sinking of the Bonny Scot, along with the haunted dude who survived giving testimony. Maybe he will be killed and Nancy and Co will have to find another piece of evidence really fast like the urn from the Bonny Scot that Ryan is still hanging on to. MAKE BESS AND GEORGE COUSINS WRITERS. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Even after Nancy solves Lucy’s murder, I want Lucy to stick around. She is my favorite character on the show. She and Nancy can be roommates, she’d be a really great security system. Some guy tries to break into the house only to be greeted by a drowned girl screaming her head off? I’d drop dead. And from next week’s trailer, towards the end when she says “I am trying to solve your murder!” Is it just me or does she sound a little exasperated? Maybe because Nancy is working her ass off here and all Lucy does is scream at her and make her cough up teeth 😂. Yes I want Lucy to find peace, but I also just really really want her to stick around.

Last thing before I wrap up. I know the show is astronomically different from the books but Nancy traveled in the books. She went to different cities, states, countries. As much as I love the creepy superstition loving town of Horseshoe Bay, I am hoping maybe in the later seasons the show’s location branches out a bit? It probably won't because it’s the CW and they use sets and yada yada yada but a girl can dream. See you next week!

#Nancy Drew #Nancy Drew cw #George Fan #Bess Marvin #Ned Nickerson #Nancy x Nick #Nick x George #Nancy x Owen #Dead Lucy #Lucy Sable #the terror of horseshoe bay #Carson Drew #@ the cw this is one of very few decent shows you have rn don't fuck it up #my theories

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helloitisiamazing · 5 years

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Why Mileven sucks

Was originally gonna put it all in one post, but thought it would be better to split it. Rest assured, the Byler stuff is coming.

They don't know a goddamn thing about each other.

They literally just kiss when Mike is with El. We know they jumped right into a relationship after season two since season two was around halloween/Christmas ( starting 31 October and ending at the snowball which takes place at the end of December according to the stranger things wiki ) and season 3 was around the 4th of July the next year (the last episode is supposed to be the 4th of July celebration so the season starts a few days before that ) which would be about 6 months. In the first episode Hopper complains that all they have been doing for the last six months is making out in El's room. They don't go out on dates. When Mike and El ditch their friends when Dustin wants to set up cerebro to go make out, Lucas says that it has been like that all Summer, so the times they do go out are short lived. The time Mike had to get to know El was a week in 1983, and according to the wiki for season two there is a month between the final battle and the snowball in 1984, but during that month Eleven probably still had to keep a low profile, not leaving much room for hanging out with friends.

Mike is a shitty boyfriend towards El.

When they leave their friends on the hill, Mike is the one who says they should go, and again as evidenced by Lucas saying that it's been like that all summer, we know this isn't the first time it's happened. Mike lies to El after Hopper threatens him and instead of just talking and explaining things to her, he goes to the mall to buy something to win her over after he suspects she knows he's lying and just lies more to cover up his first lie when he get's caught. He is very possessive over her, only spending time alone with her, never with their friends for long periods. He won't let Max let El use her powers to stop the mind flayer because he wants to protect her, but also because he doesn't trust El to protect herself. This shit may sound fine if you've only ever read bad wattpad romance novels, but I assure you these are not the building blocks for a healthy relationship. Even after they broke up and Mike apologised, he never actually apologised for the actual lying.

He was really not that heart broken when El dumped him.

Sure he was upset, but all he did was complain about how he did nothing wrong and wait for her to call him to apologise. El also did not look even slightly upset after she dumped him. She and Max were laughing on the bus. She was however very upset with him lying, which lead to her braking up with him.

Their "romantic" kissing scenes felt very uncomfortable to watch.

Even if the actors are slightly older, their characters are thirteen to fourteen year olds. Most people in their late teens and older would find it uncomfortable to watch, and given that that is who the show is generally marketed to, you can't help but think that the awkwardness was intended. I mean, it felt off. Mike is probably imitating what he has seen other adults in films and on tv do, but it comes across so inorganically when they do it.

Mike is definitely not in love with El.

Taking into account everything I have mentioned above ( them not really knowing each other, neither of them being actually broken hearted when they broke up ) as well as all the times Mike struggles to say he loves El to her face. He can't get the words out and goes about the absolute stupidest way of describing love at the store, when he could easily come up with something that would better describe it to El. He can tell everyone else he loves her, but he can't tell her because subconsciously he knows that he would be lying to her. He can't even remember saying anything about love three months later ( which given that he could still remember what he said the day he met Will when they were five in season two points to the fact that the problem is not with his memory. You'd think that he would be able to remember something as important as wanting to profess his love only three months later. ) He could be lying when he says he doesn't remember, but when El says she loves him, he has all the opportunity to say it back and doesn't, there is literally nothing standing in his way. In fact, he looks very confused. He doesn't kiss her back or even close his eyes when she kisses him and is still left with a confused look when she walks away.

Mike equates the idea of falling in love and having a relationship to growing up while his feelings for Will are something he thinks he'll grow out of. He asks Will if he thought that they were never gonna grow up and get girlfriends. He imitates grown-ups he's probably seen on tv, in movies and even in his own life when it comes to his realtionship with El, instead of letting it develop naturally. The way he tries to explain love to El is by saying that it's something grown-ups say to each other. Mike settling for El would also follow the trend of Wheelers settling for people the aren't in love with ( Karen with Ted and Nancy with Steve ).

Mileven is a cute ship but the people saying that they are in love and the end all be all relationship of the show are wrong. Even the Duffers themselves described Mikes feelings for El after season three as sort of a first crush.

Could it develop into an actual fuctioning relationship as they grow older? Maybe, but it is highly unlikely. Mileven won't stay canon.

#mike wheeler #eleven #el hopper #eleven hopper #jane hopper #stranger things theory #stranger things theories #stranger things 3 #stranger things #st3

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 6 years

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Cries of Thunder

Chapter One

Summary: (Post Ragnarok, No Thanos) Asgard is gone, and the Asgardians are living as refugees on the uninhabited portion of land Odin had shown Thor and Loki before his death. Shorn of his hair and missing an eye, Thor finds solace with his friends at the Tower in New York where he meets her. A woman of quiet poise, beauty, and grace.

Fallon. Receptionist for the Tower, she worked hard, drank too much coffee, and seemed to run everywhere. A friend of Pepper’s, Thor longed to get closer, but for every step he took toward her, she took two in reverse. The fear in her eyes broke his heart.

What horrible thing happened in her past to have her looking at him with such eyes? Where was she always rushing off too? And when he learns of her past, can the disillusioned King teach Fallon to trust again, or will his own insecurities after the loss of his home keep him from being there for her when her world comes crashing down.

Pairing: Thor Odinson x OFC | Word Count: 3538 Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, hard themes, small angst

He was smitten. That was the only excuse for his long, rather sullen sigh. Truly, completely, down to the bones, smitten. Thor was certain he'd never seen such pretty hair. A deep, glossy brown shot through with golds and blondes. It gleamed like faceted topaz, but he couldn't understand why she wore it up in the ugly knot at the back of her head all the time.

Her name was Fallon Smith, receptionist for Stark Tower, and lovely dragoness at the gate when it came to people enquiring after the Avengers.

Every morning he stood on the second-floor landing, watched her rush in, put her purse under the desk, smooth out her rather plain jacket and skirt, and make ready to face the day. She'd smile for Geoff and Mark, the security officers on duty, and get to work.

Thor couldn't help but notice she was a voluptuous woman, wider of hip and fuller of breast than most Midgardian women found acceptable. If her food choices were anything to go by, he suspected she felt the same. Always picking at a salad while peering covetously at the sweets in the display case of the coffee shop within the lobby of the Tower.

Coffee was another thing he noticed she drank with startling frequency. He was surprised she didn't drown in the quantities she downed or slosh when she walked.

At the end of the day, she would gather her things and run out again. Always in a hurry.

He wondered where she went in such a rush. There was no ring on her finger, and frankly, after a weekend, she often looked more exhausted than she had before it. Thor would have asked, but he was uncertain when it came to approaching women of Earth, something which surprised him.

With Jane, the introduction had been easy as she'd hit him with her car. Twice. But how did one go about announcing their interest and ascertaining if it was reciprocated with a woman who seemed never to take a spare breath let alone an extra minute?

On Asgard, it had been as easy as sending a smile in the direction of the lady who'd caught his fancy, but Asgard was no more, as his hammer was no more.

And now, on Earth, the fair Fallon never even looked his way. It was frustrating and a blow to his ego.

“Why don't you just go talk to her?” Bruce asked as he came to lean against the second-floor railing at Thor’s side.

“I do not know how to start,” Thor admitted.

“How about with, “Hi, I'm Thor. Nice to meet you,” and go from there.”

“Would that work on this world?”

Bruce eyed him with exasperation. “Did you never talk to the women of Asgard?”

“When I wanted a woman, I simply smiled, and she fell at my feet,” he professed, shrugging as it wasn't a big deal.

“Yeah… you're gonna want a different game plan here, buddy.” Bruce shook his head and patted Thor’s shoulder.

“Hm. I will think on it.” Turning away from his daily dose of Fallon, Thor headed off to train with Steve.

***

Fallon breathed a sigh of relief when the big blond walked away. She had no idea what she'd done to gain Thor’s attention, but she wished he'd stop staring at her.

Years ago when he'd first appeared in all that armour with all that hair, she'd had a moment of heartstopping hello before Jay had come in and-

She slammed the door on thoughts of her ex. That was not a road of memories she wished to travel down. Not today. Not ever. She was safe. She was hidden. There was no way he was ever coming back into her life.

When the phone before her rang, she pasted on a smile and went to work, but thoughts of Thor would not leave her be. The King of Asgard filled her mind with too much regularity. She had to admit she liked the shorter hair he now wore and found the golden eye patch to be, well, rakish. Like a pirate in one of her guiltily read romance novels, the ones she kept in her purse to enjoy while on lunch.

They had outlandish covers and words like heaving bosoms which made her giggle, and the women in them were not the rail-thin ones of today. They were broad of hip and soft of breast, voluptuous and thick, more in keeping with her own body’s shape. Reading them didn't give her a complex like some of the modern magazines did. They were so damn cheesy, but she loved them, and there wasn't much time for the things she loved in her life anymore.

Except for them. Her babies.

Fallon glanced at her phone and quickly pressed the home button to light up the front. There on the screen appeared Dylan all of four with his baby brother nestled in his arms and his sister in the carrier beside him. Having a four-year-old and eighteen-month-old twins didn't allow Fallon much time for anything but them.

Weekdays they went to a secure daycare, one which required logins and passwords and had strict rules about who picked up her children, and weekends were spent being a single mom. Running errands with three babies, laundry, cooking, and playtime to make up for leaving them all day during the week. She didn't have the time or the energy for giant Asgardians with hair like sunshine and a smile just as bright.

Her job paid exceptionally well, thank heaven, for everything was expensive in New York. Raising three kids in the big city afforded her the anonymity she needed, but it came with an enormous price tag.

The phone on the desk rang, distracting her from her musings. “Yes, Miss Potts?”

“Fallon, it's just me. You can use my name.”

“I know, Pep. It feels weird when you're my boss.”

“Tony is your boss. I just work here.”

“You're so full of crap,” Fallon muttered.

Pepper giggled. “I need you to come up. Is Kenneth there yet?”

She looked up in time to watch the man rush in the door. “Of course.” Fallon gave him the stink eye as he mouthed I'm sorry and hurried over.

“Mm, I'm sure,” Pepper grumbled. “Rushing in the door is he?”

“Been here at least ten minutes.” She mouthed back, you so owe me, and Kenneth nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

“Well, as he is there, grab the box waiting at the coffee shop and head on up.”

“Be right there,” she murmured and hung up to glare at her co-worker. “What was it this time?”

Kenneth didn’t even bother to look contrite, only smiled as he unwrapped his emerald green scarf from around his neck and ran a hand through his short crop of slicked back hair. It was always immaculate, a rich buttery caramel she'd kill for, and he had such beautiful skin. It was as if the dermatology Gods had blessed him. His dark eyes gleamed with amusement and his lips spread to reveal his perfect chicklet teeth. At five foot ten, fit, fun, and fabulous described Kenneth to a T. He was wonderfully comfortable in his flesh, unapologetically gay, and someone she counted a friend when she didn't have many.

“Not what, beautiful! Who,” he purred as he folded his jacket and slipped it and his bag in a drawer. “Girl, let me tell you. I met a fine piece of beef last night I just couldn’t say no too. We ended up back at his place, and one thing led to another...” He grinned wickedly while waggling his eyebrows.

“Let me guess. You had to rush home and change, cause lord knows you couldn’t possibly wear the same outfit to work twice in a row?” she teased.

Kenneth shot her a pair of finger guns. “Honey, some of us take pride in our appearance.” His eyes widened in horror before he slapped his hand over his mouth. “Oh, damn, Fallon! I didn’t mean to imply…”

She didn’t let the hurt show. “Hey, it’s fine. I know you didn’t.” With a wave, she walked away, heading toward the coffee shop, feeling fat and frumpy and horrible about herself all over again.

Her serviceable black shoes with their thick heel clunked along against the marble. It felt like every eye turned her way, drawing attention to her when that was the last thing Fallon wanted. Her plain, ill-fitting suit - too tight in the hips and wrinkled - was one of two she owned. The other one, the one which fit her slightly better, was the one she preferred, but Emma had successfully spit up all over her five minutes before they were supposed to leave for daycare, leaving Fallon with no other option but to wear the one she hated.

“Fallon.” Cindy, the barista smiled. “Here. Miss Potts called down for these.” She handed over a pink pastry box.

“Thanks. Chocolate Danish?”

“And bear claws!” she said, her perky attitude grating on Fallon’s already foul mood.

“Fabulous,” Fallon muttered, pasting on a smile as she walked away and headed for the elevator.

She reached out and pushed the button, stepped inside when the doors opened and leaned against the wall after pushing the button for the upper floors. The box smelled incredible. It made her mouth water even as she called herself twelve kinds of names, all of which had some connotation as fat to them.

Getting off on the thirty-seventh floor, she headed for Pepper’s office, smiled at Nancy her heavily pregnant assistant, and walked through the open door. “What did you need, Pep… per...” Fallon's voice trailed off as she stared wide-eyed at the three men in the room.

“Fallon! Great, just the woman I needed.” Pepper turned and smiled, her sleek hair tied back in a low tail which swung against her spine over a beautifully fitted pale green dress.

She looked incredible and sleek and made Fallon feel like a frumpy old granny. But it was the three men who made her want to hide in a corner.

Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Thor.

Immediately her pulse spiked and spots coloured her vision. Her hands went clammy, and she broke out in a cold sweat. Darting her eyes toward Pepper, she had to force herself not to crush the box of pastries.

Pepper’s eyes widened in understanding, and she swiftly crossed the room to link her arm through Fallon’s. “If you gentlemen will excuse us, Fallon and I have many things to discuss.”

Steve smiled and nodded, but his eyes betrayed his concern. He knew something. Fallon wasn't sure what or how much, but he suspected. Bucky was even worse. He watched her with those cold blue-eyed. Piercing. They appeared to see to the deepest darkest corners of her soul and had her shrinking toward Pepper. But it was Thor who made her heart pound when he stepped closer.

“Lady Fallon.” He reached toward her but she jerked back, and Pepper stepped smoothly between them.

“Thor, have a pastry.” She took the pink box from Fallon’s trembling fingers and thrust it at the blond with force.

It caused him to frown. Then something like sorrow crossed Thor’s features when he carefully lifted the lid on the box, selected a sweet, and walked out without another word. The other two men both nodded goodbye and left with Steve shutting the door behind him.

Fallon sat down hard on the coffee table behind her and shook all over. “Just give me a second,” she whispered to Pepper as she hugged herself and rocked back and forth.

“Fallon, I am so sorry. I wasn't thinking,” Pepper apologized, sinking down to hug her.

“Not your fault. Not your fault at all,” Fallon muttered, fighting the tears and rising panic attack.

It wasn't Pepper’s fault Fallon had fallen for the lies of a handsome man. It wasn't her fault he’d been a monster in disguise. And it was hardly Pepper’s fault it had taken Fallon nine long years to get away from the man who’d used and abused her to the point she'd nearly died.

No, Pepper was the one Fallon had turned to, for help to escape her prison. The only person Jay never knew about being in her life. The only person Fallon knew she could reach out to who would believe her when no one else could see past Jay’s mask and the web of lies.

Pepper had helped her escape, run with her children, document the abuse, and file for divorce. The big surprise had come when the investigators discovered Fallon and Jay had never legally married. It had all been a lie, right from the word go. Even her wedding had been a sham.

Jay had been livid, spewing threats and ultimatums at the lawyers they'd used to keep him from finding her. But between Pepper, and then Tony who Fallon was slowly growing more comfortable with, they'd managed to see Fallon granted full custody of her children, and a restraining order slapped on Jay.

As far as Fallon knew, Jay still lived in California and had no idea where she'd gone. But now she lived with an underlying fear of big men. She knew intimately just how hard they could hit, and just how badly they could hurt her.

Walking into Pepper's office to find three of the biggest Fallon had ever met scared the damn pants off her.

“I know I've told you this before, but you need to start believing it. No one here, especially one of those three, would ever lay a hand on you,” Pepper stated, running soothing circles over Fallon’s back.

“Knowing it and knowing it, are two totally different experiences, Pep,” Fallon sighed.

“Eat a Danish. Sugar makes everything better,” Pepper urged.

“And adds more fat to my ass. Thanks, but I'll pass. What did you need, Pepper?”

“An assistant.”

“You have an assistant,” Fallon frowned.

“Who’s ready to pop at any moment!” Pepper huffed. “I've insisted Nancy take a year off minimum so the position will be open at least that long. It comes with a pay bump, a big one, as well as a clothing allowance to refit your wardrobe. You’d have access to company vehicles, the good gym, and whatever perks I can think of later. You would have to be slightly more available.”

Fallon made to decline, but Pepper held up her hand.

“I'm not talking twenty-four seven. Just an evening now and then to attend a fundraiser or party. Which, of course, you'll be compensated for as well as have whatever you need for childcare.”

“Pepper! That's outrageous! You can't offer someone who has zero experience those kinds of perks!”

She huffed and waved a hand. “Of course I can! And don't give me that bull about no experience. I know damn well you could run this company better than I do. We went to school together, remember? I know exactly what your degrees are.”

“Pepper, come on!” Fallon sighed. “I'm not… I can't… I'm not right for this.”

“Yes, you are. I refuse to let you hide away the rest of your life because of him! There are plenty of good guys out there. It's time to stop hiding.”

“I'm not hiding! I'm surviving!” Fallon barked.

“Surviving isn't living, Fallon. Wouldn't it be nice to start living again?”

“I have three kids, Pepper. Right now, surviving is all I can hope for,” Fallon sighed. “They are what matters. Not me. Not my happiness.”

Pepper sighed and patted her knee. “Take the job. I promise it will be worth it. In the long run, it will help get you ahead so you can spend more time with your kids. Or put them in the building daycare. You know it's free for employees.”

“You've done more than enough, Pepper. I need to do some of this on my own.” And she needed to keep her work and home life separate.

“Please take the job,” Pepper said. “I need you, Fallon.”

She narrowed her eyes at the redhead when Pepper looked at her pleadingly. “That's dirty pool, and you know it, Pepper.”

“Did it work?”

“Yes, dammit. I'll take the job.”

“Excellent!” Pepper laughed and hugged her again. “Now, we're going shopping to spend that clothing allowance. I love you, Fallon, but your suits are hideous.”

“Yeah, well, not all of us are rail thin and six feet tall, Pep,” she grumbled. “And three children haven't exactly been kind to my body.” Nor had Jay been kind to her body, but Fallon didn't want to think about that.

“And if you buy clothes that fit your body, you'll feel better about it,” Pepper said sternly and dragged her to her feet. “I'm giving Nancy the rest of the day off. Tomorrow, you start up here with her, going over my schedule and getting familiar with things, but today, we can all use a day off.”

Pepper dragged Fallon toward the door. “And Kenneth better be on time because he’ll be training the new girl tomorrow.”

Fallon sighed a little behind Pepper's back. What she wouldn't give to have that type of spunk and confidence.

***

Thor pouted as he munched his Danish, only half listening to Barnes and the Captain as they walked away from Lady Pepper’s office.

“Must have been bad,” Steve murmured, “to make her that skittish.”

“You think Stark would know? Seeing as how she's friends with Pepper?”

“Probably. But whether Tony would be willing to tell us anything? I don’t know,” Steve sighed.

“Don't need to know everything,” Bucky grumbled. “Just enough to make sure the asshole won't be coming after Fallon.”

“Lady Fallon dislikes me,” Thor murmured. “And I don't know why. Did I do something wrong?”

Steve and Bucky stopped so fast Thor nearly walked into them both.

“No, Thor. You didn't do anything, but someone has.”

He frowned at Steve. “I do not understand.”

“Fallon doesn't dislike you, big guy,” Bucky sighed. “She’s afraid of us.”

Thor gasped. “But… we've barely exchanged a handful of words! I have done nothing for which she should be afraid!”

“No, Thor. Not you, us. She's scared of all of us. Either men in general, or just big guys,” Steve explained.

“Someone abused her,” Bucky said bluntly. “And bad enough to make her want to rabbit every time one of us enters the room.”

“She… someone hurt her?” He crushed the pastry in his hand. “I will speak with her. He must not go unpunished. She will tell me his name, and then she will never have to worry about him again!” Thor turned on his heel to head back toward Pepper's office when Steve grabbed one arm and Bucky grabbed the other.

“No!” they shouted.

“Think, Thor! If you go barging in there with threats and raised fists, you'll only scare her and be no better than the man she left!” Steve said.

“You like her, don’t you?” Bucky asked, a smile spreading.

Thor saw no harm in admitting it. “Yes. I find her intriguing and wish to know her better.”

“Then you can't rush her. She started here about a six months ago. That's not much time if she was abused and just managed to escape him. You're going to have to go slow. Earn her trust before you can win her heart.”

“I asked Banner about such things. I am.. uncertain in the ways of human interaction. How do I express interest without…”

“Coming on too strong?” Bucky smirked and patted Thor’s shoulder. “I think we’d best skip the gym and go get a beer. If we're talking women, this could take a while.” Then he grinned at Steve. “Besides, the punk there could use some pointers too.”

“Kiss off, Buck,” Steve grumbled, red darkening his cheeks.

Thor clapped the Captain on the shoulder. "Thank you, my friends. I appreciate your assistance." The last thing he wanted to do was upset the fair Fallon or ever make her uncomfortable.

Next Chapter

Tag list available. Send an Ask, please.

#Cries of Thunder #Thor Odinson #Thor Fanfiction #God of Thunder #God of Thunder fanfiction #Avengers au #post ragnarok au #dark themes #abuse #physical abuse

383 notes · View notes

stranger-bucky-things · 6 years

Text

Perfect - Billy Hargrove x Reader (SMUT)

This is a request I got a while ago from @black-bare, and as per usual, REQUESTS ALWAYS WELCOME

“Hey I was wondering if you could do a Billy x reader where the reader isn't skinny but isn't plus size either, maybe a bit of a tummy and bigger thighs and things like that? Smut too if you want but it's up to you, thanks babe <3“

Summary: Reader isn’t tiny like her friends but she’s still confident - most of the time. After a party gone wrong, Billy shows her how he really feels.

Word Count: 3.8k

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You had never been the “skinny” one. You didn’t hate your body but you weren’t like the other girls and sometimes it got to you. Like when you were at a party with Nancy Wheeler and your other best friends you often felt out of place. As much as you wished for it, you didn’t have the confidence they did. Boys never looked at you twice, always opting for the tinier girls. Most of the time you were fine, you had learned over time how to accept your body and work it to it’s full potential but there were days when you just didn’t feel pretty.

“Guys I really don’t want to go,” you explained to your friends.

“Come on Y/N, it’s gonna be huge and I heard Steve is gonna be there,” she said as she winked at you. Steve was your biggest crush but just like everyone else, he had a crush on Nancy. You would be surprised if he even knew your name.

“I think I’ll just stay home tonight guys, don’t worry about me,” you said with a fake smile. It had definitely not been your day and you just wanted to go home. Out of your peripherals you watched Billy Hargrove brush past you, and maybe you were dreaming but you could swear you saw his eyes move up and down your body, admiring what you had to offer.

“Oh. My. God. Did you see that Y/N? Billy Hargrove definitely just checked you out, I heard he’ll be there tonight too,” Nancy said. Your cheeks flushed at the thought of Billy taking an interest in you.

“Maybe. Maybe I’ll come tonight.”

———————————

Nancy’s voice sounded through the phone, another attempt at getting you to go to the party.

“Okay listen. If you come tonight you can pick movies for movie night with the girls for the whole month. That means any horror movies, dumb comedies, chick flicks, anything you want. It’s all up to you,” Nancy bribed.

“Enticing but you gotta sweeten the pot a little more. I pick movies for the whole month and you’re designated driver for the next four parties.” You smirked, knowing that she would never agree to the second one. You were always the designated driver to and from school, parties, anything really, mostly because Nancy always liked to let loose and drink, whereas you were rarely seen with a cup in your hand.

“Fine. I’ll be DD and you can pick movies for the next month. Now, my place or yours? We’ve gotta get ready!” Your jaw dropped, stunned that she had agreed to your negotiations.

“I’ll be at yours in ten,” you said as you rolled your eyes. You hung up the phone and ran upstairs to collect your things. The short walk to Nancy’s was nothing but all you could focus on was seeing Steve. You wanted to look good, you wanted to feel confident.

Nancy swung open the door open and pulled you up to your room.

“Hi Y/N,” Mrs. Wheeler shouted as you ran up the stairs.

“Hi Mrs. Wheeler,” you shouted back as you neared Nancy’s room. You plopped down on her bed and emptied the contents of the bag you brought, your makeup, clothes, and hairspray all falling in to a pile on the bed.

“Y/N, you’re gonna look so hot tonight, I know it. All the guys are gonna be all over you!” Nancy spoke excitedly.

“Your head is up in space Nancy Wheeler. I appreciate it but I’ll just blend in like every other time,” you said with a meaningless laugh. “Actually I’d prefer to blend in,” you admitted. Nancy shook her head, refusing to take no for an answer.

After 3 hours of Nancy putting on layers of makeup, twisting and pinning your hair, and trying on umpteen outfits the both of you were finally ready and downstairs heading out the door.

“Bye mom, love you!” Nancy yelled to her mom.

The sun had set long ago, cascading the small town in a sheet of darkness, the streets illuminated by the tall streetlights. You had to admit, you looked pretty good. Your confidence had sky rocketed since earlier in the day and you were ready to party.

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Walking through the crowded room seemed to prove difficult as you bee-lined towards the alcohol with Nancy following close behind. The house was packed, everyone from the school must have been there. Your eyes scanned the room, subtly looking for Steve or Billy. You unfortunately made eye contact with Tommy H and quickly looked away. You saw him whisper something to his friend and he made his way towards you.

“Looking for Steve Y/N?” he asked in a taunting tone.

“What? No? Why would you say that?” you asked, avoiding eye contact with the dickhead before you.

“Seriously Y/N? Everyone knows you have a crush on him. Kinda cute actually. Thinking that a girl like you could ever have a chance with him.”

“What do you mean a girl like me?” You asked out of sheer curiosity, already knowing that you’d regret that choice.

“Really Y/N? You’re fat. He would never go for a girl like you.” His words rang in your ears. You froze as you made eye contact with Steve across the room, your eyes quickly avoiding his as a tear ran down your cheek. “Awe look she’s crying!” Tommy taunted. He laughed as he saw you try to cover every inch of your body to the best of your ability before you ran from the house. You heard his laughter as you ran away, the word ‘fat’ ringing through your ears, invading your thoughts as you sniffled, willing the tears to stop. You wiped your eyes and took a deep breath, closing your eyes to collect yourself.

“Y/N?” A voice sounded behind you. You knew that voice, you always would.

“Oh. Uh… Hi Steve. How are you?” You sniffled, looking away so you could wipe the remaining tears from your eyes.

“Y/N I’m sorry. He shouldn’t have said that to you,” Steve said apologetically.

“Oh. Yea, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you said with a sad smile. You turned away, heading down the drive way, just wishing to be home already.

“It’s not true y’know,” Steve shouted behind you causing you to stop in your tracks. You slowly turned towards him. “You’re beautiful Y/N, don’t listen to him.” You let out a humourless laugh.

“God Steve seriously? I really don’t need this right now.”

“I’m not kidding Y/N. Don’t listen to him, you’re way too pretty.” You sniffled and looked him in the eye. A part of you hoped he would profess his love for you and you would be happy together forever but you knew better. You were a smart girl.

“But you don’t like me, do you?” He looked at you in silence, giving you all the confirmation you needed. His hand fell from your wrist and you turned away from him one last time.

You walked away from the bustling party, not bothering to tell Nancy or any of your other friends that you were leaving. They’ll figure it out, you thought to yourself. You sat down on a bench and finally let yourself really cry without prying eyes.

“He’s a dumbass you know.” You heard Billy from beside you. You looked up and saw his sparkling blue eyes staring down at you.

“Thanks Billy but I’m not in the mood. I already got made fun of enough for the night, can it wait till tomorrow?” you said in a defeated tone.

“Nah I’m serious Y/N. You’re a hot piece of ass, he’s an idiot for not realizing that.”

“It’s not his fault. I wouldn’t like me either.” You chuckled dryly. Billy sunk down next to you and looked at you, carefully planning out what to say to you. You felt as if his eyes were looking deep in to your soul.

“Y’know I’ve got a lot of girls throwing themselves at me, kinda overwhelming actually,” he chuckled to himself with a cocky smirk adorning his face.

“Yea. I know. Why are you telling me that?” You stared at him with your eyebrows raised.

“Because that’s why I like you.” Billy Hargrove likes me? “Cause you don’t throw yourself at me. You’re strong, you don’t need a guy. Especially a guy like Steve Harrington. You’re too good for him princess.” Your cheeks flushed at the nickname.

“Yea, I don’t need a guy but it would be nice to have a guy like me and not because they pity me, but a guy who likes me for me.”

“Let’s go for a drive Y/N.” Billy stood up, reaching his hand out for you. You eyed him warily, looking from his hand to his eyes and back to his hand.

“Why, so you can kill me?” He leaned down towards you, his voice dipping to a menacing tone.

“Sweetheart if I wanted you dead, we wouldn’t be talking right now.” Your eyes widened at his sinister words. “But I don’t want to kill you because I happen to like you so just come for a drive with me.” You gripped his outreached hand and pulled yourself up. His blue Camaro was parked across the street and you climbed. in the passenger seat side. Billy started the engine and pulled down the street. Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver played through the speakers, unlike the music you had heard from Billy previously. He looked calm and collected, focused on the road, a comfortable silence falling over you.

“Where are we going?” you inquired, breaking the silence.

“You’ll see,” he answered curtly.

“Well can you give me a hint?”

“Y/N no.” The bickering continued until he pulled up to the small hill with a spot that overlooked the entire town and further. “I know it’s a little cheesy but this where I come to think.” You looked at him, seeing the vulnerability in his eyes.

“Why are you so mean to everyone Billy?” The questioned caught him off guard as he looked at you with an open mouth. He pulled a cigarette from his pack and lit the end, an orange glow in the dark night. You thought that you had ruined everything when his voice interrupted your thoughts.

“My dad. He’s fucking cocksucker.” Your eyes widened at his words. You nodded for him to proceed. “He’s an angry guy. Takes it out on me, his personal fucking punching bag.” He took a deep breath as he took a drag from his cigarette between his full lips, allowing him to centre himself so he could continue. “I’m just angry. I’m so fucking angry and I need to let it go,” he explained with a deep sigh.

“Oh Billy…” you said, leaning over the centre console and wrapping your arms around his strong frame. “I’m sorry Billy. You deserve so much better than that.” You rested your head on his shoulder and held on to him. He was taken aback by your affection as he warily wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re so beautiful Y/N,” he mumbled in to your hair. You let out a bitter laugh and shook your head. “What? I’m serious, just everything about you!” Billy gushed.

“You heard Tommy Billy, I’m fat,” you said as you looked down to your twiddling thumbs.

“Bullshit. I’ll go kick his fuckin’ teeth in if I have to princess.”

“Billy you’re not kicking anyone’s teeth in. Just face it Billy, I’m not skinny,” you said in a quiet, defeated tone.

“Okay, so no. Maybe you’re not skinny, but you’re not fat! There’s so much of you to touch and your fuckin’ ass? God you kill me sweetheart. Look at me,” he said, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes. “I want you so bad it’s unreal.” He grabbed your hand and cautiously placed it over his crotch and you immediately felt his hardening cock in your palm through the thick material of his jeans. Your eyes widened in disbelief as you came to the realization that Billy Hargrove truly wanted you.

“Holy fuck,” you muttered. He was huge. Bigger than anyone you had ever been with. He smirked at you, pleased with your shock.

“I want you so fucking bad Y/N.” You couldn’t muster any words so you just nodded, silently telling him that you wanted him just as bad. He leaned over and placed a wet kiss on you neck, just under your ear. “Y/N, I’m gonna fuck you better than anyone ever has. You’re gonna feel me for days princess. Now, my place or yours?”

You thanked your lucky stars that your parents were out of town this weekend, a couples weekend in Napa Valley or something so you gave Billy the directions to your house and soon enough you stepped out of his car setting foot on the driveway.

“You sure you want this sweetheart?” he asked, confirming your choice to bring him home.

“Yes. Yea, I mean yea, sure I’m good, let’s go,” you said, stumbling on your words. You led the way to your room, suddenly embarrassed about all the pictures and cheesy memorabilia that decorated your room. “It’s pretty lame, I know. I just haven’t gotten around to redecorating or anything.” You didn’t know why but you felt as though you needed to explain yourself to Billy.

“No, no, it’s cute,” he said with a lopsided smirk as he picked up a picture frame, one with you, Nancy, and two other girls that Billy didn’t recognize. He slowly made his way over to you and he stopped directly in front of you. “Mmm just look at you. God just so… Perfect,” he said as he admired even inch of you. He brushed his fingertips across your cheek bone, dropping his hand to your collarbone and slowly taking his descent down you body until he reached your plump ass. He grabbed a handful, throwing his head back in pleasure as he groaned at the feel of you filling his large hands.

“Mmm Billy,” you moaned with closed eyes. This man had barely touched you and you were already in a puddle.

“That’s it baby, say my name,” he whispered huskily in your ear.

“Billy I want you,” you whined desperately. He smirked and snaked a hand up your skirt. His long fingers fiddled with the cotton of your panties, moving them slightly to the side, his fingers casually brushing over your wet folds. You whimpered at the contact, silently begging for more as you gripped his bicep tightly. You tried to push his strong hand closer to where you wanted him most but he was stronger than you and resisted your efforts easily.

“You want more princess?” You nodded frantically, not bothering to hide your desperation for his touch.

“Then beg.” Those two words made your head spin and the blood rush to your core creating a flood of wetness. “Tell me what you want,” he said in your ear, loving the way you reacted to his gentle touches.

“I want you. I want your fingers in my pussy, please I need you so bad,” you begged completely unashamed of your need. He groaned and pressed two fingers in to your dripping core. You moaned at the sensation of being filled by him. You let out an obscene moan and your forehead came to rest on Billy’s strong shoulder while he pumped his fingers in and out of you.

“That’s right baby girl, cum for me, cum on daddy’s hand,” he coaxed, his fingers pounding you faster and harder than before, before you knew it you had released the tension building up in your lower belly. You came hard with a scream, digging your nails in to his tan bicep, biting his shoulder, overcome with pleasure. You looked at him, that infamous smirk adorning his face. He looked you dead in the eye as he licked each finger clean. You exhaled deeply, a failed attempt at collecting yourself.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, still dizzy from the earth shattering orgasm he just provided you.

“Lie down for me beautiful,” he said, slightly pushing you back on your bed. He ran his hands along your body, pushing your shirt up and over your head to admire your body. You reached down to wrap your arms around your stomach, your insecurities catching up to you. “Nuh uh. Hands above your head and do not move them. If you move then you’ll be punished. Understand?” Holy fuck, he’s a dominant, you thought to yourself. You nodded and raised your hands above your head. “Should we tie you up? What do you think Y/N? Think you can be a good girl for daddy?” He barely gave you a chance to speak before he took his belt off and wrapped the leather around your wrists.

“I’ll be good daddy.” You stared at him, taking in every feature of his. He had rid himself of his shirt giving you a nice view of his tan, toned torso. Your eyes trailed down to where his stomach and his pants met, desperately hoping he would rid himself of his pants as well. You were laid on the bed naked and dripping for the gorgeous man before you. “Fuck me. Please daddy, fuck me,” you begged. He pushed two fingers in to your mouth and you swirled your tongue around his digits.

“You want my cock princess?” You nodded eagerly and watched him as he slowly shed his pants and boxers. He circled you until his cock came face to face with you. “Open your mouth sweetheart.” You obeyed and parted your lips, waiting for the feel of him, hot and heavy, on your waiting tongue. He slowly pushed the head of his cock past your plump lips. He groaned as he saw his cock disappear in to your mouth. “Yea, that’s a good girl, take it all baby, come on, take it all in that pretty little mouth,” he encouraged. You gagged as he pushed himself down your throat but his words of encouragement just pushed you to take him further and further. Your nose brushed his pelvis and you looked up at him with wide eyes, his cock completely down your throat.

He held himself down your throat, loving the look of you beneath him, so willing to please. He started thrusting slowly, his dick sliding in and out of your warm mouth. You looked up at him with spit gathering at the corners of your mouth and a tear smudging your mascara. He pulled out abruptly and jerked himself off in front of you.

“What’s wrong daddy?” you asked, confused as to why he stopped.

“Nothing princess, you did amazing. I don’t wanna cum too quick baby,” he explained. “Are you ready Y/N?” he said as he slid the head of his cock through your wet folds.

“Yes Billy. Fuck me.” He needed no further encouragement as he pushed his hard length in to your desperate cunt. You both simultaneously groaned as he started thrusting in to you, his hips slamming lewdly against yours, the sound of skin against skin and the explicit moans and words spilling from your mouths. His hand reached down to wrap around your throat and you threw your head back, allowing him more access to take control. “Oh god, fuck yes Billy, fuck my wet pussy Daddy,” you screamed for him. Your filthy words only encouraged him further as his pace quickened, pounding in to your hard and fast.

“That’s it princess, scream for Daddy,” he said, tightening his grip around your throat. You smiled at his actions, eager to push the limits. He lifted your leg to his shoulder, the new angle making you lightheaded from the pleasure. The head of his cock was pounding in to your g-spot, making your legs shake as you neared your release. “Fuck baby, I’m close,” he mumbled. Hell fell forwards, burying his face in your neck while he rammed his huge cock in to you. His thrusts became sloppy and you could tell that he was close just as he had said. With a loud groan he pulled out, jerking his cock until his cum sprayed over your stomach. He collapsed beside you and let out deep huffs, regaining his composure. He lazily looked at you with a lopsided grin.

You sighed, disappointed that you had unfortunately not been able to cum, but you couldn’t say that you were surprised, no guy had ever made you cum from sex.

“Damn Billy, you really got it in you hey?” you said with a light chuckle.

“Did you cum?” he asked. You looked at him, not entirely sure what to say.

“Well not that time but it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” you said with a genuine yet sad smile. He rolled over, sliding down the bed until he was between your legs. You looked at him with parted lips and unsure eyes. “What are you doing Billy?” He licked from your tight hole to your clit, earning a loud moan from your lips. His tongue flicked at your sensitive clit and you gripped the sheets beside you.

“No way you’re not cumming again princess,” he said before flicking his tongue against your clit. The more he assaulted you pussy with his mouth the closer you came to cumming. He could tell you were getting close so he harshly inserted two fingers in to your aching cunt. He curled his fingers and before you could say anything you were cumming. Hard. You screamed and ran your fingers through his hair, trying to pull him off your sensitive pussy. He lifted his head and you could see your juices adorning his chin. He looked at you with a devilish smirk and raised himself up to lay beside you again.

“Holy fuck,” you mumbled as those seemed to be the only words you could muster. He hummed in agreement and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

“Can I smoke in here?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yea, just open the window.” You smiled as his naked form stood from the bed. He stopped to pull on his boxers before walking to the window and lighting up his smoke. You studied him as he sat by the window, the two of you falling in to a comfortable silence. “Hey Billy,” you said. He turned around and looked at you with raised eyebrows, awaiting your question. “Do you maybe wanna stay the night? I can make us pancakes tomorrow morning, or waffles. It’s really up to you,” you said with a nervous smile. He looked at you in silence for a moment. Well great, now he thinks I’m creepy, you thought to yourself.

“I would love that princess.” You sighed with relief and lifted the covers, sliding under and holding them open for Billy. He laid down beside you and pulled you in close, wrapping you in his arms.

“Goodnight Billy.”

“Goodnight princess.”

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fastcurious · 5 years

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The Last Curious Man / The enormous life of Anthony Bourdain, according to those who knew him best

published on GQ

+ https://www.gq.com/story/anthony-bourdain-men-of-the-year-tribute

Chris Bourdain is searching for a word that he cannot quite find. We're sitting together in a small café in Grand Central Terminal, drinking table wine and talking about his late older brother, Anthony. Chris has a habit of looking away as he's talking to you, one of many physical traits he shares with Tony. And right now he is thinking, with Bourdainian intensity, for a way to sum up his brother succinctly, and for a very specific reason.

"The death certificate that was printed in France," he tells me, "listed as his profession 'chef.' And I tried for months to figure out, what is the appropriate way to describe what Tony has been doing for the last seven or eight years? There's no description for it."

It's true. There is no easy description for Tony Bourdain, or for the utterly unique role he managed to carve out for himself in this world. He was a chef. He was an author. He was a very popular TV host—the cheerfully dickish center of the food-media universe. He was an explorer who removed degrees of separation from the world's sociological arithmetic, a man who was always, in his words, hungry for more.

He's gone now. And while everyone I talked to for this story is still coming to grips with the enormity of that loss, one can also sense a fierce determination among them that Bourdain's work cannot end with him. That's why Chris is racking his brain, trying to boil it all down to a simple vocation, a template that others might be able to follow to live richer, fuller lives.

This is Tony, according to those who knew him best.

Bourdain with the staff of Les Halles.

Philippe Lajaunie (owner, Les Halles, where Bourdain had been executive chef): The first time I met him, he was in the kitchen and cooking. It was a cramped kitchen that had been designed back in the '70s, so it was kind of out of proportion. And he was very quiet. Almost timid. He had just worked a few years for an Italian restaurant, and at the beginning all of his specials were very Italian. So that was rattling my cage a little bit—it was a French restaurant!

Jeremiah Tower (chef): I went by the restaurant, Les Halles, because I'd read [his memoir] Kitchen Confidential when it came out, and I was absolutely wowed by the book. And he asked me what I thought of Les Halles, and I said, "Well, it's a fairly terrible restaurant." And he loved that I said it.

Chris Bourdain (brother): I loved Les Halles. I miss it. Had he ever showed interest in cooking [when we were kids]? No, no, no, no, no, not at all. Zero, zero, zero.

Sam Goldman (childhood friend): The first time I met Tony was the winter of 1969. He was two grades behind me, which in high school made him an entirely different generation. He was new at our school, and this Bourdain kid was tiny. I remember we hazed him just a bit. The first Friday of our ski-club trips, we made him ride in the luggage rack.

Bourdain: I know he didn't like [college], and I know he didn't care. Our parents did not have a lot of money, and I definitely remember, we went to some restaurant in Putnam County, New York, on Route 22, where our parents had a massive, huge fucking argument with Tony: Why are we paying for Vassar? You're fucking up there. Which he was. The upshot of that was he did not go back to Vassar. After that, he ended up working out of Provincetown, Massachusetts, down at the restaurant there.

Miles Borzilleri (Vassar class of 1979): I was on campus for a couple years when he was around. The thing that I remember is Tony used to have two samurai swords. They were holstered around his waist, and he would just go through the day like that. That was part of his little persona.

Jeff Formosa (musician, childhood friend): He was big with nunchucks for a while. I don't know that he was good at striking, but he made them ﬂy around his body, and he didn't hit himself too often. He was a joker, too. He'd run into the next room and turn on a blender or a noisy appliance, and he would start screaming like his hand was caught in it.

David Remnick (editor in chief, 'The New Yorker'): My wife came home one day, and she said, "Look. There's a really nice woman at the newspaper. Her son is a writer. She wanted you to take a look at his work," which seemed...adorable, right? A mother's ambition for a son. I took this manuscript out of its yellow envelope, not expecting much. I started to read. It was about a young cook, working at a pretty average steak-and-frites place on lower Park Avenue. I called this guy up on the phone. He answered it in his kitchen. I said, "I'd like to publish this work of yours in The New Yorker. I hope that's okay." That was the beginning of Anthony Bourdain being published. I don't know if there's any way to put this other than to say he invented himself as a writer, as a public personality. It was all there.

After the success of 'Kitchen Confidential,' Bourdain was approached by freelance TV producers Lydia Tenaglia and Chris Collins, who would go on to form Zero Point Zero Productions, the studio behind 'A Cook's Tour,' 'No Reservations,' and 'Parts Unknown.'

Lydia Tenaglia (co-founder, ZPZ Productions): Chris [Collins] and I were doing a lot of medical shows, like Trauma in the ER. I read Kitchen Confidential, and I said, "Hey, I'm a producer. Can I talk with you?" And [Tony] was like, "Yeah, sure, whatever." We made an appointment to meet at the restaurant. It was in between the lunch and the dinner service, and I walked in, and he was sitting at the bar. He had his chef whites on, unbuttoned, and he was having a drink. He stood up, and my first thought was "He's very tall. We're going to be looking up his nose a lot with our cameras." We watched [him] in the kitchen, clearly in control. He just talked about what traveling the world would be like for him. He had gone to France as a kid, he had gone to Japan once, and that was it.

“I just think it’s lonelier without him in the world.”—Paula Froelich

Bourdain: We were staying with my father's aunt and uncle in France, when I was like 7. There were these two night tables, and they had little drawers you open at the bottom, and in there were the chamber pots. We had to try them. I think we only did number one. We weren't gonna be nasty. We thought it was very funny to pee in them and then pour 'em out in the alley. It was fucking hysterical.

Tenaglia: Chris and I got married in December 2000, and a week after we got married, we left for this five-week foray with Anthony Bourdain. We joke all these years later that we got married and then, a week later, we all got married.

For the first episodes of 'A Cook's Tour,' a TV show with an accompanying book of the same name, Bourdain and his future ZPZ team traveled to Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand.

Tenaglia: Japan was a fucking disaster.

Chris Collins (co-founder, ZPZ): The mistakes were very clear. He did not engage with us. He would not acknowledge our presence and that we were there working together.

Tenaglia: I think he was thinking, "Great! I just got a free ride to all these countries."

Collins: It was a ruse. It was, I'm gonna double dip here. I'm going to be able to get paid to go make something, and I'm going to write articles.

Tenaglia: We would go back to the hotel and say, "We are so screwed."

Collins: We shot in Japan for probably nine days. And Tony said, "Listen, I gotta ﬂy back to New York. I always cook dinner for my wife's family, Christmas dinner." [Bourdain and his first wife, former high school sweetheart Nancy Putkoski, divorced in 2005.] I'm like, "You gotta ﬂy home?"

Tenaglia: Part of us thought that he may never come back. [He did.] Then we ﬂew to Vietnam. Suddenly he looked around and he had this instant cultural touchstone. His idea of Vietnam, Japan, and Hong Kong all emanated out of literary and film references. And of course he was a voracious reader, one of those just preternaturally gifted people that could absorb what he had read and retain it. He wanted to connect what he had read with the actual experience of that in a very romantic way.

Collins: He started drinking it in, and something inherently changed in that guy. There was something...the smell, the colors...something twisted in his head the right way. It really sounds crazy, but it was "Okay, we've got something."

Tenaglia: He felt it, too. He came alive, because those frames of reference were starting to pop. His sudden inclination was to turn and share that with us. You could sense this excitement, like, "Holy crap, I'm actually on the ground in a location that I have studied, that I know, that I have references to." You know, Apocalypse Now, Heart of Darkness, Graham Greene, the Vietnam War. He was percolating with an excitement that was very genuine.

Collins: It was like a light switch coming on.

Tenaglia: [Before that] he was the guy with the camera around his neck. No, seriously. He went everywhere with his frigging camera, and we'd have to pull it off his neck. He was a tourist! One time, we went to the home of this duck farmer in Vietnam…

Collins: This was unbelievable.... So what they do is duck, wrapped in clay, onto a fucking smoldering fire to cook. Clay hardens, the duck cooks, you crack it open, and you've got duck. So they choked off the duck and wrapped it in the clay, and they put it on the fire.

Tenaglia: There was a big fire that was burning.

Collins: And they hadn't sufficiently choked off the duck! The duck came back to life. So it's broken through loose clay, now the feathers are smoking, and we're all...What do you do? They got the duck back in the proper condition to cook it, and then a 32-ounce Fanta bottle filled with some sort of translucent liquid is brought out.... It was grain alcohol. I mean, you could have cleaned a wound with that.

Tenaglia: The booze, moonshine.

Collins: And it commences.

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After the initial success of 'A Cook's Tour,' Food Network demanded more domestic episodes and more beauty shots of barbecue. Bourdain balked. He and ZPZ went to the Travel Channel a year later and rebooted the show as 'Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations’; the show would eventually migrate to CNN as 'Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown.'

Collins: [Travel Channel] gave us an order of three episodes. Paris was our first shoot. Tony and I are standing outside the restaurant we're going to shoot, and at that point I could see he was smoking like three cigarettes simultaneously, so something was amiss. We took a little walk together, and it was just this welling up of this anxiety and insecurity. "Why are we doing this? What are we doing? What have I done?" And I'm like, "Tony, let me tell you what we've done. We've just agreed on a contract to deliver three episodes. So you better walk this off and get your ass in the restaurant, and we're gonna go to work." People's idea of Tony is formed after 20 years of watching him on television, and there's a sense of like "This guy is the un-muscled James Bond." In fact, he was actually a shy man.

Gabrielle Hamilton (owner and chef, Prune): He was an awkward dude. When he's on, you know, he can perform. And perfectly. But I think he has social anxiety. I know he does. Tony's famously like, "Just don't leave my side. We're about to walk into this room, and there's gonna be 450 people in it. And they're all gonna say hi to me, and can you not be far?"

Eric Ripert (chef, Le Bernardin; Tony's close friend and frequent on-air guest): On camera in Peru, we went to see a shaman. The shaman was explaining what he was going to do, and I was the translator. And I said, "The shaman is gonna put some alcohol in his mouth, and he's gonna purify you by spitting on you." And Tony said, "I don't want to be wet—I don't want anything to do with that." So I translated to the shaman by saying, "Oh, he loves the idea. He's excited about it!" And then Tony went in front of the shaman, and he completely covered Tony with the alcohol.

Daniel Boulud (chef, restaurateur): He wanted to do Lyon. He said, "I want to go to your parents' farm and see [legendary chef] Paul Bocuse and go to your school where you grew up." The problem [was], I drove that car for quite a while. It was basically a piece of fabric, a little thin mat with springs and a tube frame for the seat. It's the cheapest car in France. It has two horsepower.

The car broke down, and we were stuck in the middle of an entrance of a highway, and everybody was screaming at us, because we were closing the traffic during rush hour. It was noon, when the French go home and eat. It was terrible. I felt so bad, and I called my father at home. I said, "Can you come and maybe pick us up or something?"

Ripert: When we went to Sichuan, I knew very well that I was going to suffer with the spices, and he knew, too. He asked me before I went, "Are you okay with that?" And I said, "Yes, I'm gonna be a good sport." Now, I didn't know to which degree I was going to suffer, but it was unbearable. It was so bad that one night I said, "Tony, I can't anymore.… Take me to Hooters."

Next to the hotel was a Hooters. He was like, "You're kidding me." I said, "No, I'm not. I'm not. My stomach is burned, I can't." And he said, "Okay, let's go to Hooters."

And he took all the production, invited everyone. So all the cameramen, everybody, we all went to Hooters in Chengdu in the middle of China. I needed a break. I ordered a burger with a weird name. I needed bread.

Morgan Fallon (director and D.P., ZPZ Productions): Honestly, a lot of times I was so hungry after a scene, I'd just go over and start picking at what was left. And Tony, very lovingly, would refer to us as seagulls.

Josh Homme (frontman, Queens of the Stone Age; composed the theme song for 'Parts Unknown'): He was such a beautiful contagion. He presented such a fascinating doorway to so many other things that aren't within your narrow doorway of what you do. When it was time to write the song for his show, he sent over [Joey Ramone] doing "What a Wonderful World." And I said to him, "Are you sure you want me to do this?" And he just said, "It is a wonderful world. Isn't it?"

Michael Ruhlman (author): There was this woman who was a foodie, but she was a student and she was poor. And she used to go by his restaurant every day. She'd just stand out there, looking in and smelling the smells and thinking about it. One day Tony came out and said, "Hey, I see you here all the time." She said, "Yeah, I can't afford to eat here." He said, "Come in. I'm gonna feed you." And so he fed her a steak and a proper béarnaise sauce while she sat amongst the crowd.

Cable News Network: A Time Warner Company

Between 'No Reservations' and 'Parts Unknown,' Bourdain and the ZPZ team ended up producing 242 episodes. He traveled nearly 275 days out of every year, never stopping, because the mission of the show had grown too important to him and to everyone else involved in making it.

Tom Colicchio (chef, TV host): Anthony took food TV and turned it into something serious. It was about bringing people together around food and trying to get Americans to see someone living in a Middle Eastern country, [that] they weren't terrorists. They were people who live there and had very similar issues to issues we have here, and he was able to do that through food.

Collins: If anything can be said about Tony, he was an unbelievable guest.

Helen Rosner (food correspondent, 'The New Yorker'): I remember sitting across from him at this table at this sort of sticky beer bar and him saying to me, "Helen, it makes a difference if you walk in the door saying, 'I'm going to love it here,' or you walk in the door saying, 'This place is going to suck.' "

Ripert: He never complained about anything. That was something that struck me about Tony. You could be hours in a car, or you could be in freezing weather, or you could be in a room with very unpleasant people, and Tony would not complain, ever.

Matt Goulding (co-founder, Roads & Kingdoms): You could never beat Anthony Bourdain to a meeting. It was impossible. And if you were late to a meeting, you probably wouldn't get a second one. The guy showed up 15, 20 minutes early to everything in his life.

I remember the last time that I saw him was out in L.A., and we were going into Netﬂix with a show that we were developing with him. We said, "You know what? Let's try to get there 20 minutes early. We've got to beat Bourdain." And so we show up there 22 minutes early into the lobby. Sure enough, there's Tony sitting there with his legs crossed, with his newspaper out and his cup of coffee. And he's like, "Enough, guys, you're never going to beat me."

Nathan Thornburgh (co-founder, Roads & Kingdoms): He traveled incredibly well and efficiently. We just had to make sure he had a lot of Marlboro Reds.

Peter Meehan (co-founder, 'Lucky Peach'): Tony was an excuse to smoke.

Ripert: We were at the French Laundry. The dinner was exceptional, but one of my favorite moments was when they gave Tony a crème brûlée that was infused with Marlboro cigarettes. And I have to say, it was delicious.

Fallon: There was never a show that he was like, "We can just coast through this one. It's not an important show. It's not." It always meant something.

Thornburgh: That guy, he did appreciate a fine thread count.

Goulding: He was a hotel hound. I don't know if you remember, but for the longest time his Instagram stories would only be about his hotel rooms.

Collins: Listen, he deserved it. The guy was on the road a great deal of the year. There were certain shows, it was very clear, like, "I wanna make sure the toilet's got great suction and the thread count on the sheets is four figures."

Tenaglia: We would get his wish list for the next season; there was always this moment of eye-rolling like, "Okay, we're going to Africa, and then we're going to the Caribbean." All right, Caribbean, yes we get it.... There was some calculation going on there.

Fallon: There were folks who wanted to put him at this fancy golf resort near the town of Welch, West Virginia. And they were like, "Tony will be more comfortable there." I was telling them, "No. He's gonna stay in town." It's old, it's run-down, it's not exactly comfortable. You can't drink the tap water there. And Tony showed up there being like, "I love this little hotel!" And he'd just be sitting there on the front porch, screwing around with his phone, kind of absorbing the environment with no one messing with him. And I saw him truly comfortable and happy there.

Collins: Tony was also sorta klutzy.

Tenaglia: Very klutzy.

Meehan: He had an AOL e-mail address.

Paula Froelich (author, journalist): I'll never forget laughing my ass off because he was obsessed with my dog, who's a small dachshund. He'd always walk my dog, and he was so tall and the dog was so long and short, they would look like this movable L.

Collins: It was our first or second Russia shoot. We went out to a decommissioned air-force base where there were two MiGs [jets] sitting on a tarmac that was completely shattered, with weeds coming up. We rig a camera in the cockpit, looking straight up at Tony. Off we go together, and I cannot tell you how exciting it was flying across the [former] Soviet landscape in MiGs, wing-to-wing. And I could see Tony and see the color of his skin changing. He looked like a man that was not going to make it through the flight.

We get to the ground. Tony gets out of his plane. Tony is gray. His skin color was a mess, and we go in and start drinking vodka straight afterwards. He's smoking like there's no tomorrow. So I go out to check the footage from the plane, and the camera was double punched. [It wasn't usable.]

I went back, like, "Tony, we didn't get the footage." He's like, "That's your fucking problem. I'm not going back up there."

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In 2016, before the election, President Barack Obama joined Bourdain for an episode shot in Hanoi, Vietnam, a meet-up that was months in the making.

Jake Tapper (chief Washington correspondent, CNN): The Obama White House reached out to me because Obama was going to Kenya, and somebody had the idea of Bourdain joining Obama and going someplace in Kenya with him. But Bourdain couldn't do it. I don't remember why, but he had something, and I just passed it on. To me, I thought that was funny because…what did he have better to do?

Sandy Zweig (executive producer, 'Parts Unknown'): I think that's probably the only time I've seen Tony nervous.

Meehan: I asked him about the Obama hang, because obviously you ask about that. And he said to Obama, "We're both fathers. Can you tell me, is everything going to be okay?" And Obama said, "Yes, Tony. Everything is going to be okay." And he was comforted by that.

Goulding: We went out to El Bulli. Albert and Ferran Adrià, the brothers, hosted us for a big barbecue there on the beach. And Ferran turned to Tony and said, "How far can you keep going? Where else can you go? You can't go to the moon!" And Tony goes, "Really? Why not? I'll go to the moon and make an episode on the moon. I'll go anywhere."

Tower: We were going to CBS. We were walking down the block to go to the studio, and on the other side of the street were some 15 or 20 really loud, professional strikers. Tough guys from New Jersey, screaming and yelling. They saw Tony, and they turned around and went, "Hey, Tony, Tony, Tony!" And he went over and said, "Hey, guys, you know, I'm doing a show, could you just tone it down for about 15 minutes?" "Yeah, Tony, of course, anything for you." Now, who in the world could get a bunch of New York picketers to shut up, other than Tony? They just turned into little, quiet mice instantly. For about an hour.

Jen Agg (chef, author): I got an advance copy of my book to him and didn't expect much, but within a week he'd sent me a beautiful, cover-worthy quote, and I actually cried. I couldn't quite believe he'd done it.

I was very used to being dismissed/ignored/vilified by the men who run my industry, so when he chose to do the opposite, I was very, very touched.

Meehan: He kinda got to a point where he didn't need to do anything, but he still did everything, 'cause the opportunity that he had meant something to him.

Goulding: He [eventually just got] tired of eating. You could see it. Very rarely he said anything more than, "Mmm, that's really good." I said, "You don't talk about food anymore." And he was like, "What do you need me to tell you? You need me to tell you how the acidity plays off of the richness of the cream sauce? And how the crunch helps refresh your palate? Bullshit. You don't need me."

Off camera, Bourdain still greatly enjoyed cooking, hosting, and gently fucking with loved ones.

Marcus Samuelsson (chef): He took me to this Russian bar [Siberia, a now defunct dive bar located inside a subway station]. This was, like, at two o'clock in the morning. I had my speech and demo the next day. He had his speech and demo the next day, too. He said, "Marcus, you need to get out, because you have to be sober tomorrow, and guess what: I don't. I'm going to do my demo hungover and be fine." I'm completely trashed, and he's laughing. My demo was horrible. I was hungover, and I see Tony and he's just laughing on the stage: "See, I told you."

Ripert: Oh, my God, [that bar] was disgusting. It was dirty. He loved the music, and the music was, in my opinion, horrible.

Doug Quint (co-owner, Big Gay Ice Cream; close family friend): He needed to shut up sometimes. Which I told him.

Tower: There was the time when Tony was supposed to interview me. Tony started asking me questions, and then it turned into about a three-hour monologue about himself. He'd ask a question, but it really wasn't a question, it was an observation. And then I would open my mouth to say something, and he would just then go on with more brilliance.

I kept looking at the director, and she was cracking up and just shrugging. I finally said, "Hey, Tony, are you going to ask me a fucking question or not?"

In 2007, Bourdain married Ottavia Busia. Together they had a daughter, Ariane, now 11 years old. The couple separated in 2016 but never formally divorced.

Collins: A few years ago he was doing a cookbook, and they were testing recipes up at his apartment. So we went up there, and he made a meat loaf that was really horrific. And our daughter was like, "I thought he could cook!" She's 14 now, and after Tony passed away and everyone was putting up their messages outside the restaurant, she went over there by herself, and she wrote a note. And on that note she wrote, "I really didn't enjoy your meat loaf, but the pancakes you made were fantastic."

Quint: You know, at his house especially, he just loved grilling giant slabs of meat. But the first time I ate with him, I was at his house, and he'd prepared pigs in a blanket. Hebrew National pigs in a blanket. That was dinner. From a box. They were horrible. And they were burned. It was pre-emptive. He was like, "I cooked food, but I hope you don't expect much," and then he threw those at us as a joke.

He used to leave the gas stove on. I remember a sign painted over it that Ottavia put up to remind him to turn off the oven or the stove. He would take something off the burner and leave it on.

José Andrés (chef, author): The last two, three years, he was cooking more and more—almost like he was coming back to cooking. He was enjoying cooking again.

Boulud: He was taking pride in doing simple things, even if it was a steak frites. Tony was quite European in a way, in his thinking of cooking. Even French, I would say.

Ripert: When he was renting a house, he was a real chef. You will go to the kitchen, his mise en place was incredible, like something that you see only in fine-dining restaurants. He was so precise with all the ingredients in the different containers that were perfectly placed on the table. He never cooked anything bad for me.

Quint: He's the kind of host like Ina [Garten] or Martha [Stewart], who has Tupperware ready to go at the end of a meal. He made sure there were extras and that you went home with stuff.

Homme: He liked all the bits that were well beyond what I liked. They make tripe out in the desert in these giant cauldrons, for all the guys who pick grapes and citrus. He was like, "Tripe!" I was like, "I can't believe you're excited about tripe." He's like, dad-joking, "It takes guts to love tripe."

Andrés: He never got his scuba-diving permit. I gave him a computer, and he did the course at the same time with my 10-year-old daughter. He had to study to take his scuba-diving diploma. Tony was reading the books and everything, but going through the exam online was a pain in the butt. Well, he passed because my daughter did it for him.

He was an excellent scuba diver. Very calm. You could see that he was very bold. I think under the water he found, always, a lot of peace. No photos, no cameras, no selfies, no people asking him questions. He was just one more guy watching life going by. And that's why he liked scuba so much.

Quint: It was at a rental house out in the Hamptons, and it was the first time I'd ever spent a night with him or anything like that. Their daughter [Ariane] at that time was probably 5. She came and tapped on Ottavia's arm and whispered to her, and Ottavia said, "Oh, she's going to do her song." And I said, "What does that mean?" And Tony said, "Don't ask. Just watch."

Ottavia took her phone and cued up "Call Me Maybe," and Ariane came out from behind the wall and lip-synched and acted the whole thing out. Picking up a phone and fake calling into a phone, and it was just the most fuckin' adorable thing I'd ever seen. I remember looking over at Tony, and he just stared at her with this look on his face like, just he was seeing perfection and couldn't believe it had come out of him, you know? It's exactly what you want to see in a parent's eyes when they look at their kid. I sometimes didn't like Tony, but I always loved Tony, and there was a lot to love when I saw that look come out at her.

Homme: I was saying to him, "I want my daughter to do martial arts and learn to play piano." And he said, "I don't care what she does, as long as she loves it." I thought that was beautiful, because that is the right attitude for parenting. Not to push—to help someone be who they already are and to help someone search hard enough to find who they could be.

Hamilton: That's the thing about friendship with Tony. Tony lavishes you with love and friendship and generosity and kindness, and then he disappears in the night and you don't get to reciprocate. It wasn't mutual. But it was breathtaking to be loved by him.

Cable News Network: A Time Warner Company

Friends also recognized that life wasn't always easy for Bourdain, and that he had his own demons and struggled with the burden of his fame.

Thornburgh: He wasn't out there kicking his heels all the time and saying, "I'm rich and famous." I think he felt the darkness of it, too.

Andrew Zimmern (TV host): We're shooting promos, standing around, both drinking coffees, smoking a cigarette, waiting for the cameras to get set up. And he looks at me, and he says, "Television is such a vile mistress." Then we heard, from 200 yards away, "Action," and we started to walk, and I was paralyzed, like, "What the fuck does he mean by this?"

Andrés: I think Tony always saw himself as a man always on the edge of the good or the bad. It's like a knife. It's a very small edge, a very thin edge, but you have to be careful because you can cut yourself and you'll never know what side of the knife's blade you're going to end up on.

Tenaglia: Chris and I had dinner with him three weeks before he died. We had a really great meal together. I remember he had a big piece of steak, a big fat slice of cheesecake at the end of it. I'm just very, very thankful that we had that moment with him. Because three weeks later, to the day, he was gone.

On June 8, 2018, Eric Ripert discovered Bourdain dead by suicide in the bathroom of a French hotel. Ripert declined to discuss Bourdain's final days for this story. Actor and director Asia Argento, with whom Bourdain was involved at the time of his death, politely declined to participate altogether. The wounds remain fresh and deep, but those closest to Bourdain appear to have absorbed an awful lot from him about how life ought to be lived.

Quint: I heard my phone going off in the middle of the night, and it was a text from Ottavia saying, "He's killed himself, and I wanted you to know before the news came out." I [drove] to O'Hare and went to their house. The whole morning, I was sitting head down, making sure I didn't look at the TV. It's just so fuckin' lousy. It feels like you're speeding into a black hole.

Tenaglia: I don't think it was a shock that one day we would get a call. It was like, "Okay. Maybe we should prepare ourselves that one day Tony's either gotten into a plane crash, or ﬂipped on an ATV, had a heart attack."

Collins: Not expecting, but you acknowledge that it could happen.

Tenaglia: But we didn't expect that call. It's like someone's just hit you with a giant fucking frying pan.

Meehan: It was hard to understand because he was really good at being a person.

Rosner: He was the center of so many ecosystems.

John Birdsall (writer): He didn't speak as if he had power, which was the great thing.

Lajaunie: I was on a trip in the north of Vietnam, on the Ho Chi Minh Trail. I stopped in this little village, exactly the kind of place where Tony and I would have stopped on the way. I heard my phone ding, with news, and I learned from the A.P. or Reuters that he had just killed himself. It could not have been a better place, and it could not have been a worse place. It was exactly the place we would have been together. And so it was eerie.

Homme: There's a [New Yorker article called "Jumpers"], about people who jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. And all the survivors say the exact same thing, that as soon as their fingers left that bridge, they were like, Stop, wait, if I could just take that back…. I think with two more seconds, it wouldn't be this way.

Quint: That day, Ariane said to me something like, "Is this something that people outside of New York are gonna know about?" And we were like, "Yeah. All around the world, people are sad about this." Telling her that made me realize, Jesus, God, this is world news. He changed lives around the world.

Froelich: I just think it's lonelier without him in the world.

Bourdain: I have in my possession the notes that people put up on Les Halles. I have them at the house. There was one woman who drove up from fucking Tennessee. Some dude took the back of an envelope to find some blank white space to write on, and he stuck it onto the glass at Les Halles with a Band-Aid. He wrote this personal, heartfelt little thing and then stuck it on with a fucking Band-Aid.

Fred Morin (co-owner, Joe Beef): I decided to put the bottle down. About 73 days.

Fallon: I've stopped drinking as a part of this whole thing, too.

Lajaunie: I'm moving to Vietnam. I think it's time for me to do it.

Zweig: I just assumed that we would finish [the show]. It just seemed wrong not to. It's his life's work. Why not take the material that we have and make the most of it?

Tenaglia: There has not really been a moment to actually sit and try to fully process the fact that he's gone. The producers and the editors were left in the aftermath to deal with all the footage for the five, six, seven shows of Parts Unknown we have to present. I know this one longtime director-editor, Nick Brigden, said it so beautifully: It dawns [on] you...I'm not going to [get his] feedback. But then at the same time, I know exactly what that feedback would be. Through all these years of working with him, through osmosis, we have the same creative force and integrity as that guy. Whether he was alive or not here, we have all ingested it. And we're trying to move forward with it.

Goulding: The one common thing you hear from everyone is "Why does this hurt so much? I didn't know the guy." Yes, you did know the guy. You shared 100 meals with him, if not more. He shared 1,000 meals with the world. He did that year after year, episode after episode. So to not be able to do that anymore, I think is a big hit for all of us. From President Obama down to your friggin' mailman, everyone feels that loss.

Boulud: When Tony passed away, I suddenly watched a lot on CNN to see all these retrospectives on him, because I needed to feel connected. But I haven't looked at the episode we did in Lyon since Tony passed. I want to do that in a moment where I can relax and enjoy and watch it maybe with my family in France. That would be nice.

Hamilton: I have a very, very, very, very tender, fond moment of saying goodbye to Tony in L.A. I had to leave, and he was napping on his couch in his trailer, sleeping with his arms across his chest. No blanket. Shoes on. And me going in and just touching him on the arm and saying, "I'm leaving, thank you," and going back to the airport. Just a brief kiss-on-the-cheek kind of goodbye.

Fallon: People have said to me, "Well, you probably don't wanna talk about that." I feel exactly the opposite. I want to talk about Tony. I want to make sure that people understand and know that that was the real deal, man. That was a singular, brilliant, magnificent human being.

Thornburgh: My wife's father's family is from Japan, so we went and did a month in Japan a few years back. We were at the last soba shop in Hokkaido, the northern island of Japan, a place you walk over wood planks over a pond to get to. It just felt like the edge of the earth. My kid, who must've been like 7 at the time or something, he taps me on the shoulder, and he's like, "Dad, it's your friend." I'm like, "What are you talking about?"

I turn around and, of course, because it's this planet we all share, there's a picture of fucking Tony shaking hands with the soba master in that noodle shop. You cannot go find something that he hadn't done or where he hasn't gripped and grinned. The end of the earth. "Daddy...there's your friend."

Drew Magary is a GQ correspondent.

A version of this story originally appeared in the December 2018/January 2019 issue with the title "The Last Curious Man."

#art #Anthony Bourdain #bw #photo

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alj4890 · 5 years

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RCD Appreciation Week Day 7 Prompt

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) with the day's prompt of anything goes and with the prompt of a marriage proposal as requested by @krsnlove

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) A Choices: Red Carpet Diaries Fan Fiction

A/N My bff requested another type of proposal between these two. Not a part of my AU's but seemed appropriate to end this week of co-hosting RCD prompts with the lovely @hopelessromantic1352 @lilyofchoices and @moodyvalentinestories

@lxaah11 @alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @hopefulmoonobject @krsnlove @annekebbphotography @cora-nova @hopelessromantic1352 . @sunflowergirl05 @desiree-0816 @greywitchyshots @lilyofchoices @moodyvalentinestories @emceesynonymroll @dr-nancy-house @aworldoffandoms @ab1901 @pixieferry @lolablackwrites @flyawayboo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @trappedinfandoms @rcd-appreciation

Masterlist

Rumor Has It

In other entertainment news, look who was caught leaving a very well known jeweler's in Los Angeles! Could it be that the famous director has finally decided to take the marital plunge? Sources close to Thomas Hunt claim that the duchess from Cordonia that is more often than not by his side has somehow caused that cold heart of his to melt. Will we soon see something special on her left hand?

Amanda stared at the screen with jaw dropped. Could it be true? Was Thomas planning on proposing? She fumbled with the remote control and quickly turned the channel when she heard his shower shut off. She finished applying her makeup then tried to zip her dress.

Warm hands brushed hers aside and took over the task. She smiled at Thomas over her shoulder.

"Thank you." She leaned back against him when he placed a kiss along the curve of her neck. Tingling sensations shot through her veins from his touch and imagining him proposing. Good thing sources close to her had not shared how crazy in love she was with him.

"My pleasure." He murmured, lifting his eyes to the mirror. He smiled softly at their reflection.

She kissed his cheek then wiped the lipstick mark off. She couldn't stop the slight blush nor her laughter when he teased her about marking him for her own.

She turned in his arms to kiss his lips tenderly. "I do love you being mine." Amanda admitted.

Thomas gripped her to him and continued the kiss. "Not nearly as much as I do." He stepped back to admire her in her cocktail dress. The green satin had turned her hazel eyes a deep forest green with flecks of gold. He glanced down at her hand. "I believe this is missing something."

Her eyes widened as he held up her left hand. "You do?"

He walked over to his nightstand and picked up a box out of top drawer.

She wondered if he could hear her pounding heartbeat from over there. It looked a little bigger than a ring box but perhaps--

He pulled out her watch. "I found this shortly after you left the last time you visited. The clasp was broken and I took it in to be repaired." He placed it on her wrist and snapped it closed. "There. I know how much you hate not knowing what time it is."

She swallowed down her disappointment. This was what she got for watching all that gossip news show. "Thank you. That was very sweet of you to take it in. How much do I owe you?"

Thomas placed his arms around her once more. "I think I can afford to have your watch fixed." He pressed a kiss to her palm. "Ready to go?"

"Hmm? Yes. Of course." She walked out of his arms and grabbed her purse. Amanda looked at her watch and felt her heart plummet that it seemed to not be the time for Thomas to admit his feelings for her. She decided to not dwell on the rumor being untrue and to enjoy their time together.

He followed her downstairs while putting his blazer on. His eyes remained on her and held a bit of heat as they traveled her curves. "I appreciate you agreeing to attend this dinner with me that the university is hosting."

"Well, I am hungry." Amanda teased.

"So that's the reason you agreed, is it?" He asked, lips curving as he pulled her flush to him. "And here I thought it might have something to do with me."

"It might." She replied, trying her hardest to breathe normally. After all these months dating, his touch combined with the way he looked at her still managed to her heart race.

"I hope so." He softly kissed her.

_____________

A short time later...

Amanda listened with a pleasant expression on her face to the conversation Thomas was having with a few other professors. As the trio debated Ingmar Bergman's films and their influence on today’s cinema, she started daydreaming of this being her possible future. Could I be happy being the wife of a Hollywood director?

She did share his love of movies. She found this particular art of storytelling fascinating. She loved listening to him talk with such passion about it. His dedication to this art form made her excited to see more of the creative process. Thomas might possibly be the most interesting person she knew.

His personality intrigued her. He was a somewhat quiet, serious minded person; yet with her a sweet tenderness and dry sense of humor appeared. He never ceased to amaze her with his thoughtfulness nor his ability to make her smile.

He was completely different from the other men she had dated in the past. Being a member of Cordonia's nobility had put her in the path of a number powerful, confident men in the diplomatic and business professions. A chance encounter with Thomas had been a breath of fresh air. His confidence had come from his accomplishments rather than those of his ancestors or in some form of nepotism.

His deep voice drew her attention back to the conversation. Her eyes traced his handsome features, causing her senses to ruffle with thoughts of past intimate conversations. His eyes met hers, as if reading her thoughts, and he slipped his arm around her waist.

The other two professors walked off to mingle, leaving the couple to a moment of privacy.

"I hope you aren't too bored." Thomas set his empty glass down and gently caressed her cheek.

"Not at all." Amanda quickly assured him.

Thomas lifted an eyebrow in disbelief. "You've been very quiet this evening. Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong." She softly kissed his cheek.

He slipped his other arm around her. "Do you think you will enjoy your visit? It will be fairly uneventful while I finish up these next few weeks of lectures."

"Thomas, I prefer the non event days." She linked her arms around him. "I love it when we can just relax and be together, just the two of us."

His concerned frown eased with her reassurance. He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and then addressed the next person to call his name.

_____________

Middle of the night...

"There you are." He came up behind her and leaned against the railing of his balcony. "Can't sleep?"

Amanda shook her head while looking out over his backyard. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I usually stand out on my balcony at night when I can't sleep back home."

Thomas settled his hand over hers. "What's on your mind?"

She looked down while a rueful grin formed. "Life in general I suppose."

"Much too complicated to figure out at four in the morning." He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Come back inside." He tugged her back into his room.

She climbed back into bed and let out a deep, contented sigh when he scooted closer behind her. His hands caressed her back and shoulders while his lips touched the back of her neck. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. His hands moved around to her front and pulled her back against his chest.

She turned over and smiled sleepily. "I thought you wanted me to go back to sleep."

"I don't recall saying that." He replied. The way he looked at her made body tingle.

"I see." Humor lurked in her eyes as she met his steady gaze. "So your concern for my being outside had an ulterior motive."

"Not completely ulterior." He argued, while kissing up to her lips. "I believe I have never hid this from you."

She laughed while kissing him. "You are very lucky I adore you."

He paused before giving her a thought stealing kiss. "Yes, I am."

______________

A few days later...

While Thomas lectured, Amanda quietly slipped into one of the empty chairs. She looked around at the class hurriedly writing notes to what he was saying. She propped her chin on her hand and observed him for the first time in professor mode.

She had been curious after hearing Addison's description of his teaching methods. Since he planned on taking her to an early dinner and movie, they had decided to meet at the university. It had been her idea to come a little earlier than planned to sneak into the auditorium and watch him in action.

As he spoke of Leo McCarey's method of mostly improvisation instead of script for the 1937 movie, The Awful Truth; Amanda felt herself fall for this side of his persona. His fierce frown at some of the more asinine questions posed by his students made her lips tremble with suppressed laughter. Though he was harsh in his impatience, he still made the effort to answer each student's query.

His dark eyes swept the class, checking to make certain there were no other misconceptions when he doublebacked on Amanda. Her smile brought his own out. His students stared at him in shock before searching for the source of this strange phenomenon. Thomas realized what he had done and quickly dismissed the class early.

Amanda gathered her jacket and purse.

"A word, Ms. Bridgerton." He called out in a stern tone.

She coughed on a laugh as she approached. "Yes, professor?"

He stepped down with his satchel and stopped before her. He cupped her face and kissed her tenderly. "If I had known you would be observing the class, I would have attempted to make it more interesting."

She smiled and straightened his tie. "I found it very interesting. Most of what you discussed has some of my favorite moments with Cary Grant." Her eyes met his. "Plus it helped that the professor is so handsome. Very difficult to ignore."

He smiled before urging her out of the classroom.

_______________

Amanda's eyes widened at the table set with candles and roses. "I thought this was supposed to be a more casual dinner." She tugged at her short black knit dress with whimsical stars on it.

Thomas's warm hand moved up and down her back in a soothing caress. "Just because it's casual doesn't mean it can't be romantic." He pulled her chair out for her.

She sat down and thanked the waiter once their wine was poured. "Are we celebrating something?"

"No." He took her left hand in between his hands. "Can I not occassionaly try and make you feel special?"

Amanda gently squeezed his hand. "I think I could live with that."

His expression remained serious. "Could you live happily with that?"

She chuckled. "I can't think of anyone who doesn't enjoy being made to feel special."

He looked down at her hand. "Do you ever think of the future?"

She picked up her glass and nodded. "Of course. Doesn't everyone?"

He frowned for a moment. "Have you thought about a future with me?"

She coughed in her wine glass. She set it down while she strangled on the sip and tears came to her eyes. Oh Lord. Why did I have to have something like this happen at such a moment? She avoided all the curious looks cast her way from the other patrons.

Thomas rubbed her back while she tried to breathe. She wiped her tears and spoke in a raspy voice. "In case that was misunderstood, I have thought of a future with you."

His lips curved briefly. "And what do you see?"

Her cheeks flared with color. "I...I see us having a life together, one with a home and a family." She squirmed under his unwavering stare. "It is difficult not thinking of the possibility when you make each time we are together so lovely."

"And here I thought it was your fault for such thoughts." He teased.

Her entire face was red. She looked out the window their table was near and tried to get her thoughts together. "I can't see that I have done much of anything."

"Only made me fall for you more and more each and every time we are together." Thomas looked down at her hand. "I did not expect nor look for it to happen. Then meeting you threw out my eternal bachelor plans."

Amanda's lips parted in surprise. She sat there silently while he raised her hand to his lips. "I do not admit to such lightly. I am not one to succumb to love as easily as others. I'm also certain I'm not expressing this as one would typically...but I do love you with all my heart."

Amanda gripped his hand. "I love you too."

He studied her eyes as if to make certain it was true before pulling out a ring box. "Then perhaps you would be willing to marry me." He opened it and lifted a diamond ring from the velvet interior. He gently slid it over her finger.

He waited for her to respond. She seemed incapable of both words and looking at the ring. Right when he was about to take back his proposal, she leaned forward and kissed him. Her hands gripped his blue dress shirt while her lips moved over his again and again. He held her close and ignored the surprised gasps and whispers of the restaurant's patrons.

She slowly ended the kiss. "I would love to marry you." She whispered against his lips. "I can't think of a single thing on this earth that would make me happier than spending my life with you."

He slammed his lips down on hers. Their waiter cleared his throat and nervously asked if they were ready to order

"Can we go home?" Amanda whispered in Thomas's ear.

He stood up so quickly the waiter jumped. "Here. Keep whatever is left over for a tip." Thomas quickly handed the waiter a couple of hundred dollar bills while yanking Amanda along with him out the door.

He gently pushed her into the car and followed in after her the moment paparazzi appeared. As the driver pulled away, Amanda rested her head against his shoulder and looked down at her hand. Her engagement ring sparkled in the passing streetlights.

"When did you know?" She asked.

Thomas looked down at her. "Knew what?"

"That you loved me?" She swallowed nervously. "I knew I was falling in love with you shortly after we started spending time together."

Thomas's expression softened. "I believe I knew fairly early on that I was losing my heart to you."

"Why didn't you ever say something?"

He smoothed her hair behind her ear. "You were not exactly as forthcoming with how you felt about me."

He could see her blush in the darkness.

"I wasn't certain you would want me to admitting to being in love with you." She confessed. "You do have a reputation for ending relationships quickly."

He softly groaned before cuddling her closer to his side. "I supppse I do." Thomas nuzzled her neck. "And yet you came along and changed all that. I actually wanted to prolong every visit. Planning for the next time I could see you was the only aspect that made saying goodbye each time easier."

Amamda turned her head and met his lips in a kiss. "I believe this ring is a promise that one day we won't have to say goodbye."

Thomas looked into her eyes. Her hand softly caressed his cheek. He pressed his lips there and held still for an extra beat. "I am going to need that day to be soon."

"Good." She replied. Her lips curved with all the happiness she was feeling. "I was hoping I wasn't the only one who needed that too."

_______________

Three weeks later....

Breaking entertainment news tonight: Thomas Hunt ended his dating relationship with Lady Amanda Bridgerton this past weekend. In what was believed to be an invite to a Christmas party, ended up being a secret wedding ceremony for the couple. Those nearest to the couple were surprised not only to find out the two were engaged but that they were marrying right then.

Our own Ana de Luca was one of the guests invited. She reports that the touching ceremony was held in front of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree in Hunt's living room. Friends and loved ones from both Cordonia and Hollywood celebrated late into the night with the bride and groom. The newlyweds are rumored to be postponing their honeymoon until after the holidays. When asked by Ana what their plans are until then, they are reported to have smiled at one another and said, "Nothing, except spend time together."

#rcdaw #rcd appreciation week #choices thomas hunt #thomas hunt rcd #thomas hunt x oc #thomas hunt x amanda

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meditativeyoga · 6 years

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Be Your Own Life Coach: 7 Techniques to Live Your Dreams

Discover your real purpose and also find the courage to live your dream.

Five years of teaching in New york city City public colleges, Emily Hyland, 32, had a change of mind. It happened after attempting to separate a fight in between 2 teen students then getting shouted at by one of their moms and dads." I realized this was not the sort of atmosphere I wanted to be in any longer. I wanted to comply with a creative path, not one so rigidly confined to bureaucracy as well as methods," says Hyland. "I understood something was missing. But I had not been certain exactly just what."

Many people have actually been there-- we've reached a moment when we sense we have a function we haven't yet discovered, or a gift we're not sharing. Yet after that comes the million-dollar question: What next? "When you hit that crossroads, you have to cultivate your vidya, or knowledge," claims Stephen Cope, PhD, therapist, yoga exercise educator, as well as writer of The Great Work of Your Life. This is where your yoga method really enters into play. "The yoga view is that at the heart of our real nature exists a conscious, illumined mind," Cope discusses. "This is the mind that recognizes directly, with ease, our true nature, our true calls. Every one of the practices of yoga are about attuning to this already-awake mind."

For Hyland, a committed yogi, the very first solution to "What next?" was to enroll in a yoga exercise teacher training on the weekends. "There was such a sharp contrast between the yoga workshop-- a huge, beautiful room with blue pastel walls as well as big wood home windows to allow in light-- and also a gloomy, severely lit public-school classroom," she remembers. "I had gone from an emotionally stressful atmosphere to one that was extremely concentrated and also peaceful and also permitted my genuine experience of being to emerge." Within a couple of weeks, she felt she had discovered her calling:" I was far more well balanced. I ended up being much more conscious of caring for my body. And also that was something I intended to give to other individuals." She quit her job a couple of months later and also started educating yoga exercise full time.

A couple of years later on, influenced by this fulfilling experience, Hyland and also her partner acted on a treasured dream they 'd both shared given that falling in love over a slice of pizza in 2001: to open their own wood-oven pizza dining establishment, called Emily. "Eating together has been just one of the sweetest components of our partnership," Hyland claims. "We love to have individuals over and to prepare good food. We understood we wished to re-create that with a dining establishment, essentially an extension of our residence, where we were inviting all type of individuals into have a good time."

Taking such life-altering steps like Hyland did may appear difficult, but there's clear evidence it can assist you live a richer, a lot more meaningful life. Scientists at the College of Rochester found that individuals who are intrinsically inspired-- implying they do something because they intend to, except external motivations like loan or success-- record more individual satisfaction. Yet many of us discover that everyday facts (paying rental fee, putting food on the table) hinder. There's a difference between a delighted life and one filled with objective. They may overlap, yet they don't constantly work together (think about a social lobbyist incarcerated for sharing her ideas, or a Doctors Without Borders volunteer that gets Ebola). Also with its obstacles, a meaningful life is satisfying as well as mentally fulfilling.

" In the view of yoga, every human has a dharma, a sacred duty, a true calling," says Cope. "Every one of life is an expedition to recognize and accept this. Yoga exercise calls us to activity worldwide. It calls us to add our gifts, to offer the great not only of our very own hearts, however, for the good of the globe."

Ready to address your calling? Fortunately is, it's within your reach. To aid you obtain there, we went to a few of the country's leading life instructors, yoga instructors, performance professionals, monetary coordinators, as well as true pros-- those who have actually been there, done that-- to obtain the practical actions you have to go from that user-friendly feeling in your gut to living the life you long to lead.

Step 1: Learn what you already know

When something's missing in your life, somewhere deep inside you, you understand it-- also if you have no idea you know it, claims Nancy Levin, a certified integrative train in Stone, Colorado, and also author of Jump ... And also Your Life Will Appear. Of training course, pinpointing exactly what's missing is essential to making a jump onward in a brand-new direction. One trick: Notice just what you stand up to. Levin states: "Ask yourself, 'What would I not wish to tell even my friend? Exactly what would certainly I conceal if I had a cam crew in my home recording a truth show?'"

That's just how L.a pediatric work specialist Rebekah Tolin, 39, understood she wasn't being true to herself if she really did not try to become a mom-- even without a life companion. "I constantly understood I wished to be a mommy because I was a youngster-- it was never an alternative. However after that I started resisting mosting likely to buddies' kids' birthday celebration celebrations or baby showers because it appeared too agonizing," says Tolin. "I realized each occasion forced me to ask myself, 'Why do not I obtain to have this?'" And after that, after a variety of these events, she had one more idea: "I've resided in 11 cities as well as run 8 marathons-- I don't diminish from challenge. If I intend to have an infant, I plainly have the resolution to do it on my very own." One evening, Tolin sat down and also began investigating single-mom groups and also blogs. Encouraged by what she read, she made a visit with a fertility expert to review her options.

If your own dream isn't yet that clear to you, time on the yoga exercise floor covering is an effective tool for figuring out just what you actually want, says Elena Brower, a New york city City-based yoga instructor and personal coach: By hanging around alone with on your own consistently, tuning into your sensations and emotions, and also pressing your physical limitations, you create the ability to see your patterns. As well as if you're sensing you have to alter those patterns, Brower states, take action-- the self-discovery could be much easier compared to you expect. "The initial teaching of the Yoga exercise Sutra is 'Now begins the research study of yoga exercise.' Every moment, you have the possibility to discover what 'now' suggests," claims Brower. "Ask on your own, right this second, exactly what can I do?"

Brower recalls being in her 20s working in the garment industry in Italy. Her life appeared extravagant from the outside, but she felt like something was missing. One day, in a moment of aggravation, she took out some paper and also asked herself what she would do if she might do anything. She composed the word "instruct." It was a wish she didn't even recognize she had till she looked within. In simply a few months, she was enlisted in the New School in New york city going after training to come to be an art teacher (she would eventually educate yoga permanent instead compared to art).

Step 2: Set your purpose as well as confide it in others

You've determined your desire, though it could still seem like nothing greater than a dream. To move on, says Deal, establish an intent or sankalpa, a sacred oath you make to yourself to serve your own greatest excellent and be of benefit to others. "When you bring this intent right into placement with your dharma, you know this is exactly what you need to do to live your heart's wish," states Cope. "Intent gives power as well as instructions to activity. As soon as I have established my intent, I can get rid of other alternatives in search of this clear goal."

Tolin clarified her intention by contemplating her desire for having a baby during her day-to-day runs. "While a lot of the moment I pictured how wonderful it would certainly be, I additionally battled with the idea of going it alone," she says. "But as I ran, I realized that I wasn't going to opt for a person since I desired an infant. I involved the verdict that despite the economic unpredictability, I 'd still be better as a single mom compared to in a loveless marriage."

Once you've set your intention, rely on others making it really feel real and also workable. Recent study from Dominican University shows that people who create up and also send action commitments to a friend (in addition to weekly updates) typically accomplish substantially even more of their goals compared to those who keep their written objectives to themselves. "You're more most likely to take the leap if others are asking you concerning it," says Levin.

When 29-year-old Heather Prouty realized she was uninspired regarding her selected magazine occupation, she began to dream of going to medical college-- a path that would certainly mean she probably would not be putting on an MD's white coat till she was regarding 4o. She was taking pre-med classes yet additionally seriously questioning her course. After that she had a heart-to-heart with a former associate who took place to be a physician, sharing her hopes as well as fears, as well as emerged feeling a lot more certain in her midlife profession change.

Still worried concerning baring your life's dream to somebody? Levin recommends picturing it ahead of time: Hear yourself trusting in a relied on individual as well as then picture his/her favorable feedback to buoy your courage.

Step 3: Do not just set goals, strategy them

When you're constructing out a long-lasting plan of action, it's easy to get bewildered by the many actions you have to bring the way. The secret to withstanding the ups as well as downs of your journey is to establish a normal system for exactly how you approach your goals, one that becomes a practice to draw on, clarifies J.D. Meier, that is a specialist on the Agile project-management strategy, a performance system preferred with business owners, and also author of Getting Results the Agile Way. "If you have no idea where to begin, begin by documenting 3 wins that you would certainly like for today," Meier claims. "It sounds simple, yet simply try it. This easy checklist of three outcomes for today will certainly help you stay concentrated, breathe a little easier, and also obtain back on track." Right here, he offers a regular job system that could aid you move onward, no matter just how aspirations your goals.

J. D. Meier's Job Week System to assist You Reach Your Goals

Monday Vision. Each Monday, recognize three considerable accomplishments-- three big wins-- that you desire to finish today. This is your vision of what wonderful outcomes look like.

Daily results. Each early morning, recognize three smaller success to achieve that day. These are items of your huge regular outcomes that would certainly reflect progress and make you really feel great. If you finish these three end results, you can handle more.

Power hours. Observe yourself over a week and also identify times of the day when you're most productive. These are your "power hrs." Strategy to utilize them for working with significant objectives. Maintain your energy up between presses by obtaining good sleep, eating well, and also working out frequently-- you'll obtain even more performed in one power hour compared to grinding via several hours at the wrong time of day.

Friday Reflection. Each Friday, set aside 20 mins to consider just what you discovered over the week. Ask yourself, Just what are 3 points that went really well? Just what are three things that could have gone much better? You'll start to observe patterns concerning yourself, as well as you could utilize this brand-new recognition to keep boosting-- to get faster and also more efficient at attaining your wanted outcomes.

Step 4: Conquer your loan fears

Financial worries could be incapacitating, yet conquering them could be among one of the most empowering action in your journey. When Chantal Pierrat, 35, started considering leaving her lucrative sales task to release a women's- focused not-for-profit, she was stressed. "I was the breadwinner for my family, so it had not been simply me taking this jump: It impacted my husband as well as youngsters, also," she states. But when Pierrat examined her budget, she saw that with a tight rein on household expenditures, they could live for 18 months without her revenue. "That understanding gave me the nerve to keep removaling onward," she says. Today, she's the Chief Executive Officer of Emerging Ladies, a company devoted to empowering females with management training and also networking.

To eliminate your loan anxieties, consider economic administration as a kind of yoga technique-- an opportunity to observe without judgment, breathe via pain, and also dedicate, claims Kate Northrup, a devoted vinyasa yoga exercise pupil as well as author of Money, A Love Tale: Untangle Your Economic Distress and Develop the Life You Truly Want. "Your mat is a best area to start to cultivate a further partnership with money because it shows you to pay interest in all locations of your life," she says.

Below, Northrup offers four pragmatic actions for obtaining on track financially. But her largest item of recommendations: Exercise self-compassion. "Money is a stand-in for just what we value-- the far better care we take of ourselves, the extra we're revealing that we value ourselves. This splashes out into your financial life, due to the fact that those who value themselves have the tendency to create even more worth worldwide and also to attract even more worth, also."

Kate Northrup's Tips for Financial Planning

Here, Northrup's 4 how-to suggestions:

Remember your purpose. Open a separate savings account as well as title it the name of your dream-- you'll be much more likely to transfer loan in there when you highlight your factor for saving.

Set a (savings) intention. Select a savings objective that serves your dream. If you're intending to quit your work, conserve at the very least a year's worth of living costs. As reward, established up a page with a fundraising widget to track savings.

Budget, with awareness. Track your living expenses for a month, jot down whatever you invest, from rent to a mug of coffee. Now, take a mindful check out your checklist to determine where you can reduce. "Come with it from a place of questions and also curiosity," says Northrup.

Apply tapas (dedicated effort). If you require even more cash to earn your desire job, take into consideration a moonlighting job. "Ask on your own, just what other skills do I have that I can generate income from?" says Northrup. Perhaps you can do some organisation consulting or tutoring on the side.

Step 5: Seek support

Why is it that when we need support from our community one of the most, we're instantly hesitant to ask? "We're so afraid of exposing any requirements, however occasionally that's precisely what we require to do to do well," states Levin. Pierrat discovered that when she was considering leaving her task to begin her own company. She was scared to allow her employer understand, but when she did, her sincerity repaid: Her employer offered her a shift year in which she 'd be paid complete wage while functioning on launching her brand-new business in her extra time." It offered me stability while looking into the stability of my desire," Pierrat says.

Tolin doubts she would certainly have attempted obtain expectant on her very own had she not gotten in touch with a single-moms support network. "At each stage-- considering it, attempting, maternity, mothering-- there were females to speak with, assisting me via this whole unbelievably scary process."

If you're still hesitant to request aid, ask on your own exactly what you believe will actually take place. Are you scared of appearing susceptible? Attached to doing it on your own? Do you fret you will show up self-indulgent due to the fact that you're pursuing a happy dream as opposed to grinding away at a workplace task thus lots of individuals have to? Just you could answer those questions, however bear in mind that in mind, living your true purpose is one of the most effective gift of solution you can provide to the globe, states Brower. "Consider what it is you desire to provide to the globe. If it's your desire, you're aiming to offer somebody to the most effective of your capability," she says. "It does not matter if your desire is to assist offer the unwell throughout the Ebola break out, or to offer the best pizza in the area. You're still doing it to earn a person satisfied, to boost the lives of those around you somehow." When you have that function in mind, asking for assistance is a no-brainer.

And, take into consideration that people enjoy assisting. Brower recommends making a note of three circumstances in the past year when you assisted somebody else. "Analyze what you did and just how great it really felt," she says. "Construct recognition of what it really feels like on the other side of that equation. Requesting assistance provides another person an opportunity to radiate."

Step 6: Just say yes!

As you obtain closer to taking a conclusive action toward your desire, you might begin to question yourself. Despite a solid plan of action, your finances healthy, as well as a neighborhood of family and friends on standby to help, it's normal to second-guess taking the definitive jump of, claim, stopping your day job or signing a service lease.

" There's no such thing as an action like this that has no threat," says Cope. "You'll never ever understand the outcome [beforehand] At some point, you just need to do it." This is the time ahead back to your discernment regarding why you are doing all this.

" Question is an immobilizing ailment, it paralyzes us from taking activity," says Cope. If you're really feeling icy, he recommends transforming to your method, whether it's asana, breathwork, or meditation, to refocus on the sense of purpose you identified at the very start of your trip. Listen to that intuition you had about exactly what you intend to carry out in the world. And afterwards, act! "Any type of activity absorbed placement with reality ultimately liquifies confusion as well as worry, and promotes the great of all beings," he says.

The power of the word "yes" came house to Tolin a couple of weeks before she finally conceived her child. She was frightened of just what she was regarding to do and confided her anxieties to a spiritual guide. "She stated, 'The answer is always yes, do not let it be no due to the fact that of concern or being embeded a pattern.' When she said that, I realized just how much I really did intend to be a mommy, as well as I moved on," says Tolin.

Step 7: Remember the meaning

Once the preliminary ecstasy of the jump diminishes, do not be amazed if it's replaced with a few of the familiar discontent you really felt before you made your relocation. "It's a phenomenon called hedonic adaptation-- people have the tendency to 'recuperate' from both the positive and also adverse aspects of their lives as well as return to the exact same frame of mind they were in previously," clarifies Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor at the College of California, Waterfront, as well as writer of The Myths of Happiness. Translation: The same points that drove you nuts in the past will drive you nuts again, whatever your life's work. It doesn't imply you made the incorrect option, it just strengthens the truth that life could never ever be all plain sailing. But, you can still delight in knowing you're lined up with your true function as well as adding something meaningful to the globe. Keep in mind, says Cope, your goal was to live closer to your real self. "There is a deeper contentment to be discovered recognizing you're doing what you were birthed to do," he says.

" My yoga teacher always worried to me to inhale the moment-- to not assume farther ahead compared to the following breath or more," says Tolin. "I took that viewpoint to direct me through [my boy] Aiden's very first couple of months. Whenever I really felt entirely erased from being up all night with him, or stressed out about funds, I would certainly simply tell myself, 'I only have to survive today.' Yes, there have actually been difficult moments. But when I snuggle with this precious, fragrant little individual, I understand without question it was the right decision."

Hallie Levine is an independent author based in Fairfield, Connecticut, and a mom of three.

#asana #meditation #spiritual #vinyasa yoga #Yoga #yoga instructor #yoga teacher #yoga workshop

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wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog · 6 years

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Catt Sadler gets equal pay support from Debra Messing, Eva Longoria, and more

yahoo

Like most attendees, Debra Messing wore black to the Golden Globes as a symbol of protest against harassment in Hollywood and in support of gender equality.

When E! host Giuliana Rancic asked Messing why she was wearing black, the Will & Grace star let the network have it. “I am wearing black to thank and honor all of the brave whistleblowers who came forward to share their stories of harassment and assault and discrimination,” Messing began her answer innocently. “Time is up,” she proclaimed, quoting the movement of the same name. “We want diversity, we want intersectional gender parity, we want equal pay.” Things got interesting when she brought up Rancic’s former colleague Catt Sadler.

Debra Messing drags E! (while being interviewed on E!): "I was so shocked to hear that E! doesn't believing in paying their female co-hosts the same as their male co-hosts" pic.twitter.com/HF3B2uhwtF

— David Mack (@davidmackau) January 7, 2018

“I was so shocked to hear that E! doesn’t believe in paying their female co-hosts the same as their male co-hosts. I mean, I miss Catt Sadler,” she boldly stated. “We stand with her and that’s something that can change tomorrow. We want people to start having this conversation that women are just as valuable as men.”

While the moment was definitely super awkward, Rancic was composed in her response, supporting the Time’s Up message, but did not address the Sadler comment. “Absolutely. I think that, that is really what this movement is all about, right? We have an amazing platform here,” she said. “You know there are a lot of big great voices here tonight who can speak on behalf of people around, not just the country, around the world, who don’t have those voices.”

And Sadler was grateful for Messing’s support. In a statement to BuzzFeed News in response to her remark, Sadler said, “I am immensely grateful for the outpouring of support today. Time’s Up.”

The E! News co-host left the network last month after an almost 10-year tenure. Why the split? She learned co-host Jason Kennedy was making “close to double” her salary.

And Messing isn’t the only one on the carpet standing up for Sadler. Eva Longoria walked the red carpet with Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman in solidarity of the Time’s Up movement, and professed her love for Sadler while holding E! accountable in an interview with the network. “We support gender equality and equal pay and we hope E! follows that lead as well, we stand with you Catt” Longoria said. And interviewer Ryan Seacrest joined in on the love fest, echoing, “love Catt, we love her.”

Eva Longoria piles on E!: "We support gender equity and equal pay, and we hope that E! follows that lead with Catt as well. We stand with you, Catt."

Ryan Seacrest: " I love Catt. We love her." pic.twitter.com/rtKoBO5XCW

— David Mack (@davidmackau) January 8, 2018

Sarah Jessica Parker joined in as well. “This is a conversation that as complicated as it is, it seems to be very welcomed by everybody. I know it’s affected your network,” Parker said to Seacrest. “I know that there have been conversations that have been challenging for all of us, but I think it’s incredibly timely. It’s exciting. And parity and equality and safe work environments, they shouldn’t be controversial.”

Last but not least was Laura Dern. “We need the powers that be and all the industries and all the networks and E! to help us with closing this pay gender gap,” she proclaimed.

If you’re on the carpet tonight or at home post in support and ask @eentertainment what happened? We thought you would be for pay equality and say #imwithcattsad @iamcattsadler

A post shared by @ amyschumer on Jan 7, 2018 at 9:21am PST

And the Sadler support extended beyond the carpet. Amy Schumer posted a photo of Sadler on Instagram earlier today and the caption called out E! “If you’re on the carpet tonight or at home post in support and ask @eentertainment what happened? We thought you would be for pay equality and say #imwithcattsad @iamcattsadler.”

Seems like Schumer’s message was heard.

Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle: •Actresses may wear black to the Golden Globes to protest sexual harassment. Is that ‘slacktivism’? •Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan: The shocking true crime story behind ‘I, Tonya’ •This protest pin will be the Golden Globes’ trendiest accessory — but will it make a difference?

#news #E! news #Debra Messing #golden globes #video #eva longoria #golden globes 2018 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000AE7lXEAT #_revsp:wp.yahoo.style.us #_uuid:c1d526c6-7b6f-3d3b-9dc0-442d1b4346a9 #globes 2018 #_author:Maggie Parker #catt sadler

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years

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Repo Man: 7x15 Recap

Oh wow, hello episode that Boris saw...once. For all its Ben Edlund glory, this episode never made it into the rewatch rotation for me. I don’t know why, other than I was impatient for Cas to reappear and didn’t want to pick apart the subtextual story it was telling (who am I kidding, I didn’t watch the show for the subtext the first time around and this was an episode during the Cas-less wasteland.)

Then:

Sam continues to rock the brooding attractiveness of being haunted by the devil.

Now:

Four Years Ago:

In Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, Ms. Havelock approaches a remote cabin, where Sam reluctantly welcomes her inside. It seems the Brothers Winchester have caught themselves a demon. (If I do my math correctly, this is circa season 3? Prior to Dean going to hell? Augh, this hurts to watch knowing how much hell breaks Dean.) The demon and Ms. Havelock exchange pleasantries. Ms. Haverlock has her say and takes off. The boys are left to torture the demon out of any information he has on Lilith. The demon decides to let Jeffrey, the possessed man, make an appearance.

Jeffrey pleads with the brothers to stop the demon. Sam tells him that they will, but they need information first, which means possibly hurting Jeffrey. He agrees, remembering the awful things the demon made him do. The demon takes over, and Dean starts slicing. They get the info they need, and exorcise the demon.

The Impala makes a cameo in the flashback as Dean drives Jeffrey to the E.R. Without ceremony, and an order to not mention demons, Dean drops him off and leaves. Oh Jeffery.

Now:

Ah, season 7. Dean gets a call from Frank Devereaux and Sam gets a brain visit from Lucifer. Sam’s still able to use the hand wound trick to make Luci disappear, thankfully. He then lays out their case on the bed. Same as four years ago, and Dean wonders who let their demon out of the great underground. Well, time to reopen the case.

*Dean is asleep in pajamas in bed alert*

(Ok, it’s not really an alert, we just never see him actually sleep or get comfortable in bed, so this was nice.)

Anyway, the police radio lights up a crime. The Winchesters are on the case. Once on the scene, the detective they worked with in the past recognizes Agents Bonham and Watts. They need their memories jogged for Detective Sutton’s name. Anyway, Sam finds sulfur at the scene (duh).

Sam and Dean decide to check in on Ms. Havelock. She seems fine, just unable to walk through her newly painted demon trap. (I don’t know how this episode ends...she’s possessed, right?) (Natasha: I vaguely remembered this one but still thought...why didn’t you just make your trap a leeeetle bit bigger so it would actually block the whole doorway? Otherwise those demons are just gonna sidle past like you just did.) She says she’s doing what she can to protect herself. Sam wonders if she’s had any contact with the demon. She says no and tells them that she’s leaving town soon. She then asks about Jeffrey. Some demons can be sentimental. Time to find that poor bastard.

Jeffrey is at a half-way home, and he’s adopting a dog. OMG, Jeffrey, I’m sorry I only watched your episode once. Your story hurts me. When picking up his new buddy, he hears a noise from an alley and decides to investigate. No, Jeffrey! Well, it’s just Sam and Dean, so that’s something. But still, let this poor injured man enjoy his life with his new canine companion.

They all head back to Jeffrey’s home (Luci too!).

Dean “I’m homeless and carless and have NOTHING IN THIS WORLD” Winchester has the nerve to mock Jeffrey’s living quarters. Jeffrey wonders what they want with him, and Dean tells him that the demon that possessed him is back. This really upsets Jeffery. Jeffrey Bean! (Ack, doesn’t work as well when it doesn’t rhyme.) Jeffrey asks what the last victim’s name was, and then tells the brothers who the next one on the list is. It seems the demon has a kill list, and he repeated it enough for Jeffrey to remember.

Someone knocks on Jeffrey’s door, and he goes to answer it. It’s his group leader. Sam and Dean, meanwhile, agree they really messed up the poor guy (but they didn’t --the demon did. Gah, the weight of responsibility of both of them hurts me so much). Sam heads out to find the next woman on the demon’s list, while Dean stays behind to watch over Jeffrey.

*Library Alert*

Ngl, they knocked this set out of the park. The unnecessary signage alone! And Marjorie Willis? I mean, *I* don’t dress like that but MY GOD is that a perfect representation of ALL my colleagues (Natasha is also an exception.) They do have Marjorie shelving though and that is not something she would do. Yep, we’ve reached the unnecessary portion of the recap where Boris nitpicks representations of her profession.

Sam settles in to watch his charge, Lucifer along for the ride.

Back at Jeffrey’s, Jeffrey fills Dean in on his life since the demon possession. He had a hard time of it --especially when he started to talk about what happened. “Never tell. Never... never., “ Dean retroactively warns. He does compliment Jeffrey on pulling himself together, but the demon is back. Jeffrey recalls a place where the demon nested (anyone getting weird Eugene Tooms vibes with that?)

At the library, Lucifer decides to mess with Sam’s mind by having him imagine patrons bash their heads into their study tables. Graphic. I mean, there’s like fleshy brain/head bits. Neutralizing Lucifer with his hand trick, Sam notices a Bad Boy™ with a leather jacket in the library.

Dean and Jeffrey arrive at the demon’s nest, conveniently with no cell coverage.

Back at the library Sam stalks the leather-jacketed suspect to the back of the library where...he finds one Madame Librarian getting thoroughly snogged in the “discontinued periodicals.” Peeping Sam slinks away…

Meanwhile, Dean’s led to Jeffrey’s demon’s hideaway. Dean breaks inside and finds a young man tied to a chair, dirty and bloodied. Dean runs up and begins to work on his chains when the guy wakes up. He starts to shout through his duct-taped mouth, eyes wide, and then Jeffrey springs up behind Dean and injects him with something. It’s lights out for our Dean Bean.

Sam continues to valiantly ignore a SUPER annoying Hallucifer and the dimples of discontent make an appearance as he examines his phone. He can’t get in touch with Dean. Gee, I hope everything is alright! Sam examines the toxicology report. The victims were all heavily tranquilized...odd for a demon to have to trank it’s victims, right? While Sam mulls this over and tries to ignore Hallucifer’s sterling conclusions, I try to ignore the unprofessional librarian making out with her faux biker boyfriend at her public desk. Sam snaps at Hallucifer to “shut up” as they both reach conclusions about super creeper Jeffrey...and Hallucifer preens at the attention. Now they can have a real two way conversation. (Muahahaha)

Sam infiltrates Jeffrey’s apartment, tearing it apart while Hallucifer thrills over getting to play Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys with Sam. Sam finds drugs and a fake bottom drawer. The false bottom drawer has a latin incantation hidden inside of it. Sam puzzles over the incantation and Hallucifer patiently walks him through it. Sam’s never seen that type of demon summoning spell before, but he has seen that handwriting!

Sam breaks into Nora’s witchcraft business where she attacks him. Hallucifer tells Sam to get tough and he threatens her…which gets her to talk. (Oh, Sam.) She finally confesses that she wrote the summoning spell for Jeffrey because he kidnapped her son, mailed her his ear, and told her she had to help him or her son would die. Jeffrey’s trying to raise up the demon who first possessed him. (Boris interjects: MAN, I’m such a sucker. I had the whole Tooms vibe feeling but still believed Jeffrey. You’d think I could read this show better after all these years, but nope.)

Back at Jeffrey’s creepy warehouse, he confesses that he loved being possessed. He loved his demon very, very much. Dean’s all SON OF A BITCH and YOU’RE A SERIAL KILLER and ALAS THE TERRIBLE NATURE OF MANKIND.

Dean asks Jeffrey if the list of women the demon killed came from him. Jeffrey owns up to it, confessing that whenever he passed by a certain woman on his list a sound would come from their brains that only he could hear. He’d follow them home and...you know the rest. (So creepy.)

Jeffrey had no plans to ever do anything until his demon came along. Once he was possessed, they set to killing together. After the demon was exorcised, Jeffrey descended into a deep depression until he gained the resolve to get the demon back.

Back with Sam, he learns why Jeffrey has Dean. When the first ritual Nora gave him didn’t work, she found a summoning spell that would definitely work. It required the blood of the exorcist - Dean. Sam commands her to do a tracking spell. “You want the ear,” he demands, “or the kid?” A compelling argument. It gave Hallucifer chills - so Sam’s definitely doing just A+ fine.

Jeffrey does some side exploration of the nature of torture and how good the Winchesters can be given the amount they tortured Jeffrey while he was possessed. It’s a pretty fucking good point (though it doesn’t get much follow-through here). It’s just more fuel for the Dean Winchester self loathing train.

Jeffrey does the summoning spell and the demon busts loose, possessing Nora’s son instead. He busts out of his chains, grins smarmily at Dean, and then hug/dances Jeffrey around the room. Jeffrey invites him to possess him but the demon tells him that he’s a protege and he’s free to fly on his own now. When Jeffrey isn’t down with the solo plan, the demon smacks him down.

Jeffrey captured a Winchester. He’s ready for the big leagues now. “Keep sawing away at your ropes Penelope Pitstop,” the demon tells struggling Dean. Jeffrey’s ready to fly on his own so the demon’s gonna make other plans. And the demon’s gonna “burn the kid off” on his way to Vegas.

Suddenly Sam is there! He fights the demon and lures him into a devil’s trap that Sam and Nora painted on the ceiling. Dean, meanwhile, finally busts free and when Jeffrey tries to head into the fray Dean shoots him dead. The witch performs an exorcism and saves her son.

Dean and Sam head into their hotel room. Dean all but passes out on the bed while Sam sits around quietly talking through the case. Sam prepares to sleep as well but Hallucifer murmurs in his ear. Now that the case is solved it’s time for them to talk. Sam tries to massage his injured hand (and by “massage” I mean practically reinjure) but nothing works. Now that Sam talked to Hallucifer he let him in. Now he can’t get rid of him. As we leave Sam, Hallucifer’s making Sam’s bed burn around him.

“Goooood morning Vietnam,” Hallucifer shouts, delighted. His cackle fades into black...

I love you madly, madly Madame Quotarian:

You ain’t the first demon we tracked down on this safari.

Librarian, indoor gardening enthusiast, our demon's next organ donor.

Right here in my discontinued periodicals.

Name. Number. Nightmare. Go.

“Sorry. Just had to make sure.” “Make sure of what – that I peed my pants today?”

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