#anyway i hope this wasn’t too pessimistic or mean lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yelenasdog · 4 years

Text

the pillowtalk of a pessimist (spencer reid x fem reader)

genre: fluff with a millisecond of angst

summary: pillowtalk takes an interesting turn for spencer at the mention of the harsh realities of his work.

words: 1.3k, she’s a shorty.

warnings: nsfw themes (nothing smutty, it’s just implied and also directly stated that they slept together), typical criminal minds violence + death, and maybe cursing? idk.

a/n: btw this isn’t the fic i was ranting on about that i’m writing, she’s still in the works. also! this could be an x oc or anybody bc i didn’t use y/n if you would prefer to read it as such.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

A pale stream of moonlight shone through the open window of apartment 23, the home of Doctor Spencer Reid. It illuminated a small section of his bedroom, specifically on one of his many floor to ceiling bookshelves, a beacon of knowledge that was there 24/7 for the taking.

The gold engravings on the spines of his many reads shimmered, a beautiful contrast to the dark mahogany the shelf was made out of.

The room smelled like a mixture of his cologne, her perfume (Chanel no. 5, specifically), and the results of their previous affairs that lingered in the crisp air of the night.

She took a deep breath, settling down further into the white duvet, pulling it over her bosom in response to the chilly temperature. The dark green walls of the room welcomed and calmed her, overwhelming the girl with a wave of serenity that could only be brought to her by him.

He quickly took note of her unsteady breathing and shift in position, immediately jumping to action. He pulled her closer by her shoulders with his strong arms, eliciting a squeal from her and a chuckle from him, more so at her reaction than the move itself.

Her head laid on his bare chest, her hair splayed out with half of it residing on his pillow, the other half on his bicep. She could have appeared to be an angel, although in his eyes, she truly was.

She rested her hand on the left side of his chest over his heart, her fingernail ghosting shapes on his tanned skin. Circles, squiggly lines, even abstract faces.

“How do you do it?”

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. If his hearing wasn’t so acute, he was sure he would have missed it. This would have saddened the genius greatly, as he valued everything she had to say with a burning ferocity, and even one word lost would be a shame.

“What?”

He was confused by the nature of the question, attempting to search every corner of his brilliant brain for what she might have been referencing. Was it an equation? No, she hated math. Perhaps the way he so effortlessly could play any instrument because yet again, math. He decided that couldn’t be the subject at question either, she played better than he did, glorious melodies flowed from her fingertips. So the doctor was truly stumped.

The answer was simpler than he had imagined.

“Your job.”

With those doe eyes he was so fond of, she looked up, meeting his own glance.

If the term “heart eyes” was able to be personified, Spencer would be the guy to personify it whenever his eyes landed on the one in front of him.

“What do you mean? I get up in the morning, drink some coffee, and get to it.”

She giggled, but the sound he loved so much ceased with her pout.

“That’s not what I mean, Spence. How do you go on everyday, seeing body after body,” she trailed off, obviously distraught. Spencer wrapped his large hand tighter around her, placing his chin on her hairline.

“How do you consistently manage to look at these victims, these people, with lives that they never got to finish living-“ A tear slipped down her cheek, she bit her bottom lip, tasting her own salty droplets on her tongue. She sniffled, burying her head further in his neck with what he presumed was shame.

“And not break down when you do.” Her voice was muffled, but the emotions she felt were evident nonetheless.

He took a moment to carefully articulate an appropriate response. The gears in his mind turned ever so diligently, finding a solution to dry her tears.

“It’s not much different than what I initially said. I get up in the morning, drink some coffee.”

He pushed a hair away from her face, admiring her distinct features as he often did. She looked up, moving her left hand to trace his sharp jaw as he sat in thought.

“And I realize that these people that are now dead, are a part of the hundreds, of throusands, of millions of people that die every year. It’s a part of life, what gives it meaning.”

She gave a dry, humourless laugh.

“What, you don’t have a specific statistic for that?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t think you want to hear it.” He tilted his head, weighing the option of disclosing the information but deciding against it.

“But the bottom line is, they have families. Families that are grieving, and hurting, and needing answers and justice. I cannot do my job and give them the closure they deserve if I’m staying focused on my own emotions and delving deep into who the victims were, rather than how to catch those responsible for hurting them.”

She moved on to her back, stilling managing to keep her eye contact with Spencer.

“But you’re a profiler! That’s what you do! You’re supposed to, what did you call it, ‘delve deep’ into who they are.”

“Pretty girl, are you trying to tell the one with 3 doctorates how to do his job?”

She rolled her eyes, lazily throwing a hand on his neck, right behind his ear. She ran it back and forth, savoring the intimate moment.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Agent.” She taunted, poorly trying (and failing) to agitate Spencer. She had a hunch (that was more true than either of them would let on) that it wasn’t possible for her to do so, and he found himself proving it to be correct.

“I just had to learn to let the family do what they had to do so that I could do the same.”

The girl’s tone softened as she spoke, staring at the popcorn ceiling.

“I guess so. I’m just too empathetic, my heart is too pure.” She joked, a feathery laugh falling past both of their lips.

“Of course. I would expect nothing less.” He teased back, enjoying the dynamic they both held in the tender moment.

“You amaze me.” She muttered, leaning in, analyzing him and his ruffled post-sex hair, his gorgeously long lashes, and his light 5 o’clock shadow that donned his chin.

He huffed quietly, doing the exact same thing, minus the scruff of course.

“I could say the same to you, pretty girl.”

Their lips connected once again, in a different manner than the feverish and needy kiss from before.

This time, it was a union of two individuals, allowing themselves to mould together in a way only the two of them could. It was slower and sweeter, with more feeling poured into their lips while they moved in sync.

“M’ tired.”

“Yeah? You wanna go to sleep, bubs?”

She grinned as she snuggled into his arms, her exhausted eyes fluttering to a close.

“Bubs, huh? That’s new.”

A worried frown made its way onto his face as he rushed to cover up his previous words.

“D-do you not like it? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-“

“Spence.”

He stopped, looking over her for any microexpressions, only seeing positive signs. That wasn’t technically profiling, right? He hoped he would be in the clear if she ever was to find out.

“I love it, baby. Say it again.”

“Bubs?”

“Mhm. Say it again.” She sounded with content. He smirked, a proud feeling infiltrating his body, causing him to puff up his chest in the slightest way.

“Goodnight, bubs.”

He reached up, his paranoia forcing him to close the window above him, despite being a more than qualified FBI agent with a revolver safely tucked away in the top drawer of his night stand that never quite was shut all the way.

It was just the pessimist in him.

She wrapped around his figure, intertwining his form with her own.

“Sleep well, Spence.”

He felt happy with her, happier than he had been in a long time. He relished in that, allowing it to lull him to a well needed rest.

But what could he say, she just brought out the optimist in him.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

hj posting at a time that isn’t 3 am?????? unheard of. also i may or may not have pulled an all nighter to write whatever tf this is bc my ex posted something with his new gf and i felt pathetic LMAO. anyway, i hope your day is fabulous, go drink some water and remember things are what you make of them and it’s all about intent! love you, xx hj.

908 notes · View notes

tsubasaclones · 2 years

Text

long ass clear card theory ramblings because my brain decided to go into ccs mode instead of letting me sleep :)

so when i was rereading the ccs manga there was some part about how clow looked into the future and saw that sakura was going to be the master of the cards so he made the staff specifically for her and i was just like. so if sakura was 100% always going to get them why was syaoran sent on a mission to get them? thats kind of fucked up to send him on a mission hes literally destined to fail. but then i was like “well, his mom probably had no idea sakura was 100% guaranteed to get the cards”

BUT

in clear card, theres some line about how syaoran didnt want the future his mom foretold about sakura being in danger to pass or whatever (im too lazy to find my screenshot rn but thats basically what it says) which implies, you know, she can see the fucking future right. so she would have been able to see that he wasnt going to get the cards at the time that she sent him over originally right. so if thats the case why the fuck did she send him on a mission she knew it was literally impossible for him to accomplish. i have 2 reasons i could think of:

1. she knew he wasn’t going to get the cards then but that he was going to get them later and so in her mind that was still a success so she sent him anyway. which would be manipulative as fuck. i doubt this one is the case though it seems like. TOO mean

2. she knew that sakura would get the cards, and that she would be in danger in the future, and that if she sent syaoran over there he would want to protect her, and so she was like using him as a proxy for herself to protect sakura (?) which is also manipulative as fuck. i hope this one isnt the case either but if either of these two were to be the case i feel like this one would be more likely ???

anyway if there IS an explanation and its not just a huge oversight its probably (hopefully) something nicer than the two scenarios i came up with. i feel like theyre kind of pessimistic anyway lmao. i think his mom probably does have good intentions in the end but i just uh question her method of making her son live alone in a foreign country as a literal child for a mission he was predestined to not accomplish???

anyway, all else aside, he was given a mission by his mother who is also the head of his magic clan, and he failed at it. i feel like this would affect him negatively and yet its never brought up again. except in clear card he DOES have the old cards now, but the reason they give for him taking them is so he can protect sakura, which, well fucking duh i can see that ive read the clear card manga its pretty damn obvious. but i cant help but wonder if theres a subconscious secondary reason too like, say, proving that he CAN get the cards he IS good enough. and in one of his fights with kaito kaito has some line like “rewriting contracts takes a lot of power are you sure you did it just for her” and like yeah he was definitely trying to piss him off with inflammatory statements but THATS NOT THE KIND OF LINE YOU JUST DROP AND NEVER MENTION AGAIN. and later on kaito turns back time on the fight so syaoran wouldnt even remember that line at least for now but i am telling you that shit is going to come back theres no way it wont.

that being said i still think overall he mostly did it to protect sakura (and the cards could clearly see that too, i mean they went with him willingly, let us not forget) but its possible he had a second underlying reason that he isn’t even aware of himself

and sakuras not completely innocent in this either. i mean she is 100% the reason they cant have physical contact currently. this isnt even a theory at this point i am 100% certain and if i am not right i will be very very surprised. let me explain:

so when the new cards first start appearing theyre like “i dont sense anyone elses magic how could this be happening?!?!?” and of course later on they reveal that its because it’s SAKURA’S magic behind the cards because she’s been making them subconsciously. and then when they start not being able to touch her IMMEDIATE reaction is that it’s because of her, albeit she thought it was because she made a new card, but theres no new card. and then theyre like “its not a card and i dont sense kaitos magic how could this be happening?!?!?” EXACTLY like how it was when the new cards started appearing. so it would make sense that the answer to this, too, is “it’s sakura doing it subconsciously”

at the end of the day i think they just need to sit down and talk about their feelings because they are literal children of course they are going to make mistakes. you know what they say about how everything will definitely be alright

#copy pasted this into docs and its almost 900 words. literal essay length i am so sorry #em.txt #i am not rereading this to check over it it is me pouring out the contents of my brain so i can SLEEP so sorry if there are weird typos #i bet there will be at least one idk #anyway. 1 year in hyperfixation still going strong babey

12 notes · View notes

vtforpedro · 3 years

Text

LONG POST, medical update. ptsd, suicide TW: I’m really tired. I feel like I’ve been saying that for a year but I am exhausted. mind, body and soul exhausted my head got better after I lost the water weight my chemo pill was packing on (I was 15lbs lighter than the three weeks previously. so it was pretty bad lol) but now it’s getting bad again. it never gets to the point of relief, but it gets manageable and now it’s becoming unmanageable again. it’s not water weight but it might be cause I’ve put on a couple pounds over the holidays (just barely a couple pounds, I’m eating much lighter in general) anyway I don’t see the point of being scared to name what it is my neurosurgeon and I believe this is anymore. my psychiatrist thinks it makes sense, my pcp, even the ER doctor I saw on dec. 2nd lol but I am 99.9% sure this is what I have and it does makes sense but every fucking time I think about it for a while it makes me so angry. so so so angry y’all. I wish I could sit every single medical professional I interacted with over the last year or so who didn’t believe me and tell them it’s all been real, they failed me to such a degree I have ptsd and anger problems that I’m going to need therapy for, and tell them to learn how to be better providers. blegh so I saw my neurosurgeon (one of the best in the country) for the first time in april. his thoughts? anxiety with muscle tension in my back and neck that led to tension in my head. as in the muscles around my bones, not inside of my skull. didn’t listen to me or believe me, thought all my crazy symptoms were just anxiety and possibly the chiari malformation but there’s no treatment for that beyond surgery and mine is so mild no one wants to go that route (me most of all lmao) I put off seeing him again because I saw different neurologists and my PCP over the months who basically all said the same thing. like my PCP believed me and gave me referrals to the neuros, but one told me to ‘stop worrying about this and just enjoy life’ and the other sat with me for an hour, the first half of which she was all on board the ‘anxiety is fucking with you, none of this is real’ train until I had to tell her to LISTEN TO MY SYMPTOMS firmly enough that she did. she went the opposite way then and said yeah ok something ‘mechanical’ is happening, you need to go back to a neurosurgeon. turned out she loves the neurosurgeon I saw in april (worship the ground he walks on, were her words) but told me maybe I still needed a second opinion. she did also mention that I’ve been living with this for so long that I’m ‘married to it now’ which still implies I’m making it worse than it actually is but :) whatever, she couldn’t think of what it could be decided to just go back to that neurosurgeon and tell him the physical therapy he prescribed in april I had to stop because it made things worse. his PA tried to prescribe me more PT on the phone before I firmly told her I needed to SPEAK with him face to face because my quality of life is gone, because I get close to killing myself weekly because of how bad this is and nothing has improved since april. only gotten worse. so I had my appt with him in late October I think? I explained all of my symptoms (again) and told him how nothing has changed, things have gotten worse, when I do x y z I have an episode, etc etc. he said he still doesn’t think it’s the chiari but he said it *might* be IIH idiopathic intracranial hypertension first time I’ve ever heard of it and even though it was over 11 months into this, it might just save my life now that I have idiopathic = we don’t fucking know why this happens, intracranial = HAPPENING IN MY SKULL AND BRAIN, hypertension = technically high blood pressure, but for here just high pressure cause my BP is good it is rare, it is unknown why people get it and why others don’t, it is most common in women of child bearing age who are obese. the thought is that the weight on the body causes the brain to very slightly inflate, decreasing spinal fluid flow and increasing pressure in the brain, sometimes CAUSING a chiari malformation to appear, which can cause other symptoms on top of IIH it used to be called pseudotumor cerebri because IIH makes the brain behave like it has a tumor while no tumor is actually present (which means normal MRI/CT scans and the main reason everyone told me I was faking it) I gained 80lbs in less than two years due to severe depression and ptsd. I’ve been at the same weight for almost two years now and was at that weight in Feb 2019 before things started happening in Dec 2019. sometimes it does just come on one day. it can be chronic, it can randomly go into remission and come back, and they have no idea why it even happens. it’s rare enough that no neurologist I saw could even think of it. rare enough that one of the best neurosurgeons in the country didn’t think of it until he decided he believed me lol he leans even more heavily into this because I gained weight so quickly (one of the hallmarks of getting IIH) and I had not a single symptom like it before the weight gain I don’t trust anything or anyone right now and I am extremely pessimistic and have no hope. but the one thing that’s given me a little hope, that’s made me believe this is what I have, is the fucking wikipedia page on IIH. it lists one specific symptom that I’ve seen nowhere else (and is EXTREMELY specific lmao) that I have and that everyone thought I was crazy explaining. beyond destroying your quality of life, the one thing IIH can do is cause permanent blindness. I’ve had a fuck ton of problems with my vision since this all started happening. one of the worst is that if I’m in the middle of an episode and I look up or to the left, it makes it h u r t and makes the episode worse. which is on the wikipedia page! which explains why I couldn’t fucking do EMDR therapy which involves rapid eye movement from side to side :) :) :) even my therapist was thinking this was all in my head and I was just letting my anxiety tell me EMDR would send my head into an episode instead of it actually happening lmaaaao god I am so angry y’all my mom and my uncle The Doctor wanted to commit me in March/April. I had an entire ER nurses station mock me for ten minutes for coming in repeatedly and having bizarre symptoms that, because they were unexplained, they thought I was faking. they belittled me when talking to me. one put the tv remote (no tv in the room) instead of the call button in my hand when I was too out of it to notice. the ER doctor that day told me I was making up a story, none of this was real, and to continue seeing my psychiatrist. I went home that day, told my mom I was fine for her to go back to work (she was angry with me and wanted me to go to a psychiatric hospital), took a shower and planned on swallowing a bottle of pills. I was in agony, utter agony, every single day multiple times a day I thought I was going to die, and it was being made clear to me that no one, not even my mom, believed me. I told my best friend and she talked me out of it, but I came very close and I will forever be heartbroken and angry beyond belief about this (my mom came around not long after this after seeing that this wasn’t going away and has thoroughly apologized for wanting to commit me. she has been helping me every single day since this started even tho she thought it was anxiety. I’m angry but I don’t hold it against her, not after the incredible sacrifices she’s made for me for a year) so yeah. every bizarre symptom, every agonizing thing I go through, the weird discomfort, pain and burning, vision problems, etc etc, all explained by IIH. the very specific ‘looking in a certain direction makes it worse’ has been there since day one. it’s because pressure has increased on the nerve behind my eyes so looking in a certain way aggravates the affected nerve further gaining all that water weight and having my head get so so so severe, enough to send me to the ER again, made me also think this was a real possibility and the ER doc agreed that the fluid retention was making pressure in my brain even more severe and it did ease quite a lot once that was all gone, another reason I believe this is IIH if you read up on IIH or read stories by people with it, it is life altering, debilitating, and agonizing to live with. most people will also have the same story of doctors not believing them and saying it was anxiety before getting this diagnosis the good thing? there’s a cure and while some people may need additional help later on, it works for most people. and it is, very simply, losing weight. 10-20% of body weight (some places say relief can start at just 3%) seems to completely cure it for most people because the brain is no longer inflated and because of that, any chiari malformation (cerebral tonsils sitting in the spinal cord opening) will actually go away, because it makes room in the skull for the tonsils to go back to their normal place I have some trouble knowing that I am partially at fault for gaining weight like I did, but my mom keeps telling me it’s so rare and how could I have possibly known and it was after severe trauma so. trying to deal with that too lol but yeah! weight loss journey. my chemo pill, if you read my last update, completely fucked me up for a while (including the fuckin weight gain despite a low calorie, low fat diet since like nov 1st) so it’s made it hard to lose weight. but now that I’m off of that pill, I’m down 7lbs and I will continue to lose. I have never been more motivated in my life to lose weight lmao and I’ve successfully done it before! I can’t exercise but my neurosurgeon said as the weight comes off and my symptoms start getting better, I will probably be able to incorporate more movement in my life. I can’t even walk around my apt for too long right now cause it builds pressure in my brain. it fucking sucks because this is something they don’t understand, it’s really only diagnosed if everything else has been ruled out (and with a lumbar puncture, but I am too fucking traumatized to have that done. but if I showed high pressure with no reason for it, it would be an ‘official’ IIH diagnosis). but I’m choosing not to do the LP because if I start to have my symptoms relieved as I lose weight, it’s pretty obvious that’s what this has been from the start my brain thinks it has a brain tumor and is going absolutely batshit insane and no matter how much I tried to get people to believe me, it took 11 months to get there. I will carry this with me for the rest of my life and once covid eases, I’m finding a good trauma therapist and working through this if my symptoms DON’T ease, we’ll talk brain surgery. but I think this is what I have and I think I’ll be okay when I lose enough weight (and I’ll feel better all around lol) anyway I’ve had an extremely bad couple of months and I wanted to get this off my chest, sorry it’s so long. if you can please, please, please cross your fingers for me and wish me luck that this is what it is and that over the next handful of months I lose the weight and get my life back, I will appreciate it more than I can say I’m going to thank all of you ahead of time because I lack spoons to reply right now and I also want to thank you all for your support over this last year and never doubting me. for always offering me words of encouragement and for being angry on my behalf. thank you thank you thank you I love you all <3

#personal #medical #health update #tw suicide #long post

27 notes · View notes

onthepageoftears · 4 years

Text

Hold Them Closer ~ Ch.6 [Jaskier x assassin!reader] || Witcher

A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you’re doing well :))) I’m starting school again next week so hopefully i’ll be able to keep up with these updates 😬 if not, i’ll let y’all know! Also, sorry this chapter is a bit shorter :/ next one has a bit more juice, if ya catch my drift lmao Anyway, enjoy!

Your kind words and reviews mean a lot to me, so please don’t afraid to leave a message/comment!

Summary: Traveling has never been harder.

Warnings: language, mentions of death/killing/blood, sassy banter, little angst and comfort, cranky jaskier

Words: 1,203

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

Traveling with Jaskier and Geralt was way worse than you remembered.

To be fair, the last time you traveled with them it was a relatively short distance — now, traveling from Novigrad to Velen, you were ready to stab both men in the legs before traveling any further.

Being around the two men wasn’t the problem — it was being around the two men when you only had a few coin left. It was always said that money could make a man go mad, in more ways than one. But this time, you could only blame it on two things: hunger, and lack of sleep.

Your arms were crossed over your chest, face drawn in a scowl as you looked at the man before you. “Jaskier, we need to feed the horses.”

Jaskier placed his hands on his hips, his coin pouch clasped in his grip. You were currently blocking him from going to buy food because, with the coin you had left, there wouldn’t be enough for everyone.

Still, Jaskier scoffed. “I’ll have you know, man is very close to horse—“

“Man is closer to a donkey.”

Jaskier’s mouth dropped open. “Are you calling me an ass?”

You snorted. “You did that yourself.” The man threw his arms in the air, turning away from you so he could shake his head. You looked around, praying that Geralt would return quickly — you needed someone to back you up, since Jaskier clearly wasn’t seeing reason.

You couldn’t even remember the last time you ate or slept for more than a couple hours. The past few nights, the three of you camped out in the woods, not having enough coin to get your own rooms at any inn. To be blunt…it had taken a toll on all of you.

You softened your voice once Jaskier faced you again. “We just need to make it a little bit further to Velen, and then—“

“Then what? We starve there?”

“We’ll find a place there, maybe catch some jobs for coin. Then we can feed the animals—” You paused, looking to Jaskier with a hint of playfulness in your voice, “and the horses.”

Jaskier’s jaw dropped, not nearly as amused as you were, “I am worried about all of our health, love."

“Will both of you shut up.” Geralt appeared, placing a hand on Roach’s side with a huff. You and Jaskier snapped your gaze to him, almost comically so. You rolled your eyes at Geralt’s smirk, but he continued nonetheless. “While you two were arguing, I got us two rooms for the night.”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Two rooms?” You flicked your eyes to Jaskier. “At this rate, I’m sharing a room with the witcher.”

Jaskier’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at you, “You definitely don’t mean that.” He pointed a finger in Geralt’s direction. “Where, exactly, did you get this coin?”

Geralt only turned away towards Roach, lifting an apple to the horse’s mouth. You and Jaskier watched in a stupor at the apple as it disappeared between Roach’s teeth, both hiding the way your mouths watered at the sight.

Blinking out of your trance, you huffed. “It’s probably best we don’t know.”

Silently, you and Jaskier gathered your bags from Buttercup’s back, following Geralt as he led the two of you through the shabbiest looking inn you had possibly ever seen; right now, it looked better than a luxury. And as soon as you and Jaskier walked into the room, you both made a beeline for the bed, backs hitting the mattress at the same time.

In complete synchronization, you let out a sigh a relief — you hadn’t slept on a mattress in quite some time.

“This is better than food.” Jaskier murmured, his voice raspy as he let his eyes flutter closed.

You rolled your head towards Jaskier, apology etched in your sleepy eyes. “We’ll make sure to get some food soon.”

He smiled, eyes still closed, and placed his hand in yours. “I know.”

—

The next morning was better than the last, but not by much. It turned out that getting a good night’s sleep only made you more tired — and more hungry. But even through the snippy remarks and silent glares, you all knew your words meant practically nothing.

Road trips were recipes for attitude. You had traveled long treks before, but mostly alone. Now that you were with the two men you had come to call friends, it was a different experience entirely. While before you could internally curse out the squirrel that looked at you the wrong way, now, you had two other people to yell at.

And, you assumed, Geralt and Jaskier were used to the random anger that came with being on the road for too long — Geralt definitely more so than Jaskier.

But soon, the three of you found a place to pick up jobs here and there (some more humiliating than others — like finding a farmers’ lost chickens, which was rather funny to watch Geralt do). You had enough coin to eat, find a place to stay the night, and by then, you were only a little under a day’s trip away from Velen.

Even though Arnet told you the village was near the crossroads of Velen, it still left a bit of a search for the three of you. The trip was taking longer than you hoped, though you tried not to hope at all.

Hope only led to disappointment, which you were well aware of. But something about this trip had your typically pessimistic outlook on a low. It was probably because of Jaskier, who was constantly looking on the bright side.

Sometimes, very literally.

“The sun is a beauty, isn’t it? Even as it falls, it transforms the sky.”

“I think you’ve been looking at the sun a bit too long.” You felt Jaskier laugh against your back; his hands settled around your waist as Buttercup lead the way down the road you had been following for quite some time.

Jaskier’s talk about the sun made you look at it as well; it was getting late, as the sun was falling closer and closer to the horizon. You sighed, realizing today was yet another dead end. You just had to keep going, no matter how many times you were let down. You owed your mother that much.

But ahead, you noticed the brown wood of a building — another village.

You flicked Buttercup’s reigns, “Hyah!”

Your heart sped up as you neared the relatively small area. It was a village — was being the key word. The buildings that were still standing were on their last limb; it looked as though the wood had been decaying for quite some time, not nearly strong enough to hold itself up for much longer. This village was completely abandoned. Any signs of life that had been there…they were long gone.

You blinked at the sight in front of you, a mix of emotions filling your entire being.

There’s no way.

Jaskier’s voice took you out of your head. “Why are we stopping?”

You slid off the horse, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat. Avoiding his and Geralt’s gaze, you spoke.

“This was my village.”

———————————————————————————————————

:( let me know your thoughts!

37 notes · View notes

damienthepious · 4 years

Text

happy lizzer kiss babes! also, as mentioned in the notes of this one, lil heads up that i’m gonna be taking a little break from posting fic in november! and by “little break” i mean i’ll be writing 50k of a novel lmao what a good “break” i am so terribly smart. anyway love you!

A Moment As An Optimist

[ao3] [Ch 2]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Forbidden Love , (alas.......), miscommunication followed quickly by communication

Summary: It is one of Damien's favorite events of the entire year, all revelry and romance and joy, and he cannot wait to share it with his lovers. Or- with one of them, at least.

Notes: Title from the song Heart of a Pessimist, by Be Steadwell, a song which also p well vibes with the fic as a whole. Also, just to... get out ahead of this a little, but I'm gonna be taking a break from fanfic for the month of November so I can properly do NaNoWriMo again this year! Which is exciting! But it also means that I'm gonna publish fic on tuesdays for the rest of October, and then November is gonna be radio silence from my end, on here at least. You can come hmu on tumblr @jakkubrat if you wanna see me just, shrieking at the void about writing in general, but I doubt any of y'all are interested in that. Anyway I love you. Hope you like this one! I intend to get the second chapter out before my little hiatus :3c

"And then," Damien says, gesturing wildly with his hands, "after the sparring demonstrations and the feast, the square is cleared and the musicians take their place of honor. They will play, and play, and play the whole rest of the evening. Songs quick and full of giddy joy, songs steeped with contemplation and longing and love, all manner of melodies in the in-between, and they will not cease playing- not until the very last of us has grown too fatigued for further footwork. Only when the very last of the revelers has succumbed to exhaustion, only then will the music finally fade into the more natural song of the night."

Damien sighs deeply, then, his hand pressing over his heart as he fixes his eyes on the middle distance.

"I'll admit the dancing is pretty fun, at least," Rilla says with a shrug, her own tone much more casual. "Food's not too bad either."

"Pretty fun!" Damien cries, his eyes sparking with excitement. "Oh, damning with such faint praise, my love! It is quite reliably among the most enjoyable events of the year! Why- oh, I could not possibly forget the year when you and I danced clear through until the dawn, and when finally we relented we were so terribly exhausted that we barely clung to each other long enough to stumble to the closest inn to properly collapse- a battle more draining that my greatest conquests, and still I do not think there has been a day I have laughed quite so heartily, nor been so blessed with your own laughter and love! Oh, Rilla, perhaps this year they will play that one particular song- that one with those quick triplets, the one that played just as they lit the lanterns last year, oh, and Arum! When the drums begin, then we could-"

He pauses.

"We- y-you and I could- could-"

Damien notices, quite suddenly, the low growl emanating from his lizard love. He notices the wince upon Rilla's face, as well.

Damien swallows, pulling his hand back to press over his heart as it sinks, and sinks, and sinks.

"We could... what?" Arum murmurs, slow and measured and vicious. "What, precisely, could we do at your festival, honeysuckle?"

"I-" Damien's breath catches. "I... I only..." he buries the hitch in his throat in a slight cough. "I... I managed to get quite ahead of myself, I'm afraid," he says in a muted voice. "So excited was I to share such joy... I did not even think."

"You certainly did not," Arum hisses. "How little prompting you require to forget, hm? To forget entirely that I am a monster."

"No," Damien says quickly, shaking his head. "I- I did not forget- how could I possibly? Arum-"

"Or to forget me entirely, perhaps-"

"I did not forget you," Damien says. "I forgot them. I forgot- I forgot every single thing in the world, besides you, and Rilla, and I, and... and the idea of spending a whole long evening with you both, dancing in the lamplight."

"I imagine the evening would be rather short, in fact. Hardly a minute would pass before I was slain."

"That's not fair," Rilla snaps, pushing off from the wall and glaring at the monster, but Damien's heart is still swirling and tumbling and the image- Arum at the festival, dancing at their sides, the cries of alarm and fear and hatred, the blades-

"Very little is," Arum snarls. "I am merely pointing out the obvious. It does not matter what we want- what he wants. That door is not open to us, and to pretend otherwise is foolishness itself."

"You know he wasn't trying to make you feel left out-"

"I-" Arum laughs, bitter and brittle and unconvincing. "I feel no such thing. I do not care. In fact- in fact, I do not have the first clue why we are still discussing it. Should you not be on your way already?" He snarls, and then he folds his arms over his chest, visibly settling himself. "Go on, then," Arum says, his voice flat and toneless, but Damien- Damien can't help but hear the current of pain beneath it. Judging by the way Rilla's expression shifts, just slightly, she can hear it too. "Go on. If this event is so terribly exciting, you should scuttle off to your Citadel and start your revelry already."

"Arum," Damien starts, his voice gentle, and Arum's snout wrinkles.

"I don't need your pity, honeysuckle," he hisses quickly, turning to pace with his cape billowing behind him. "We all know exactly what time we may steal away with each other. We all know what we are allowed, and what we are not." He turns his head away, his lip curling up to show the edges of his teeth. "It hardly matters anyway. I do not expect that any human celebration would be of any interest to me whatsoever. Music is only music and food is only food and I can very well find some of my own anywhere I should like."

"Arum," Rilla says, her voice quiet but firm, and Arum's scowl deepens.

"What? What, precisely, have I gotten wrong? In what way is my understanding of the situation flawed? I have no interest in-"

"I won't go."

Arum blinks, stumbling from his pacing to a halt, and his frill begins to sink as Rilla turns towards Damien again.

Damien shakes his head, feeling the tightness in his throat and attempting not to let it become evident in his voice. "I won't. I- I do not want to. It is only by necessity that I am ever anywhere that you cannot safely accompany. By Saint Damien above why should I ever want to revel and ramble and partake in such a joy if I cannot share it with the both of my loves? Why-"

"Oh, Damien-"

Rilla steps closer, one hand reaching to grip his wrist, and Damien feels the heat at the corners of his eyes and shakes his head again, more fiercely.

"This festival has always and only ever brought me joy, brought me closer to and more familiar with love, with beauty and delight, and- and I could not even consider those concepts for one moment without thinking of you as well, Arum, and- and- and I cannot bear the idea of suffering an event I once loved so dearly without you by our sides. It is unthinkable, I could not- I will not."

Arum stares at him for a long moment, his frill sinking further, his throat rattling.

"I won't," Damien says again, more quietly. "Not without you."

Arum inhales slowly, his expression folding into more visible pain, and he hisses through his teeth and winces before he responds.

"No," he says slowly, his voice low and rumbling. "No, I can't abide-" he pauses, and then sighs, dropping his eyes. "No. I didn't- I did not- I spoke rashly and- no. I didn't mean to- to-" he clenches his teeth again, lifting a hand to scrub down his face. "No. This... this event is... significant to you, honeysuckle. I know that it is not your fault, nor hers, nor mine, that we cannot enjoy it together. It is no one's fault, it is simply the truth. It is simply... the world, as it is. But-" he hesitates, and then he sighs again and steps closer, reaching to brush his hand down Damien's arm.

Damien sags instantly at the contact, immediately closing the remaining gap, folding himself against Arum's chest as Rilla lets go of his wrist, stepping up behind him instead and touching his back with soothing hands.

"But, little honeysuckle, that does not mean you both should not enjoy it regardless. Clearly I should not like to be without you, but I would be much more unhappy if my mere existence kept you from something you so clearly adore."

Damien blinks, and then he lifts his face to frown up at the monster. "But, Arum-"

"This is important to you," he murmurs. "And it is important to me that our arrangement does not prevent you from taking little joys where you can. I apologize for... for snapping at you, in my frustration." He leans down, nudging their foreheads together and sighing. "I am sorry that I allowed my own... that I turned my own pain outward to cause you distress as well. I want you to go. I want you to go, and I want you to enjoy the evening as much as you are able."

Damien makes a small noise, helpless, and then he wraps his arms around the monster and squeezes, hugging him tightly enough that Arum gives a surprised exhale, and then a low soft laugh.

"Oh Arum-"

"I want you to be happy, Damien. I want you both to be happy, even if I cannot be always by your side to be happy with you."

Damien hugs Arum even tighter for a moment, until the monster makes a small breathless noise, and then he loosens his grip enough that he can tilt his head, pressing a kiss to the edge of Arum's jaw, and he cannot help but feel the tears rallying again at the gentle purring noise that rumbles deep in Arum's throat.

"I love you," Damien croons, his lips still touching scales. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry we cannot-"

"It is no one's fault," Arum says again, even more gently. "What we have together already, despite the current conflict... what we have together is already something miraculous. We should not be greedy, I think," he grumbles, his voice performatively grumpy, and Damien chokes on a laugh.

"Oh, so greedy of us, wanting to dance together," Rilla grumbles behind him, her hands gentle on his sides, and he's surprised to hear a small note of sourness in her voice.

"Still," Damien says after a moment, soft and sad. "Still. I cannot help my feelings, cannot help how much I wish..."

Arum nuzzles Damien's cheek with his snout, sighing. "I know. Loathe as I am to admit it... clearly I wish, as well. We knew this would be... complicated when we began together. This is simply something we must swallow, for the moment. Perhaps, someday, we will not need to."

"I do not want to leave you here alone while Rilla and I-"

"I will be fine, honeysuckle," Arum says, shifting back enough that he can lift a hand to brush Damien's hair from his forehead. "I promise. To begin with, I am not alone, so to speak. I am never alone within my Keep."

"You know that isn't what he meant," Rilla says, and Arum rolls his eyes.

"Obviously. But I meant only to assure him that I will not be curled into a ball and wallowing. I will have company, should I desire it, and I will be fine. I apologize, again, for speaking cruelly to you. I've... gotten it out of my system, as Amaryllis is fond of saying," he says with a light sneer, and Damien can see him burying a grin as Rilla raises a skeptical eyebrow at him. "I will not be too terribly bothered by anything but the lack of your warmth. It is only one evening, after all."

"Well... I suppose, if- if you are certain-"

"I am certain, honeysuckle." He nudges his snout against Damien's temple, then, a sweet echo of a kiss, and then he steps back, squeezing Damien's hands before he drops them. "You should go. I will be dearly disappointed if I have managed to entirely ruin this evening for you."

Damien frowns, his stomach still twisting with uncertainty, with how wrong it feels to leave in such a way. "But-"

"He said he'd be fine, Damien," Rilla says, and her shrug is exactly as casual as her words, but when Damien turns towards her to continue to voice his distress, she-

Winks, with the eye that Arum cannot see in their current positions.

"It's just one night. We'll all manage to muddle through for just tonight, and then we'll all do something together later this week. Okay?"

Damien frowns, very lightly, his confusion bubbling, but-

Well. He knows her, knows that particular quirk of her lips, knows the way her eyebrows raise when she silently tells him to trust, to trust her.

He does, of course. He always does.

"I... I suppose..." he murmurs, still confused enough that he cannot think of any better words to say.

"We'll make an appearance, at least. If we aren't enjoying ourselves, there's no reason not to just... slip out early, yeah? And-" she turns to Arum, ducking her head slightly as she lifts a hand to touch his shoulder, smiling when he leans into the contact. "Can we just... come back here later tonight? Just to sleep, or- whatever. You don't have to wait up for us, if you don't want to, but-"

"Of course you may," Arum says quickly, frowning. "Always. You are always welcome and wanted, here." And then, as if to soften the certainty, the enormity of the always he has just offered, he scowls. "And I certainly will not wait up, so you may waste no consideration on that outcome."

Rilla grins, soft and bright and sweet, and Damien knows as well as she does that the monster is lying.

"I love you," Damien says again, because he cannot hold the words inside while they sit scalding at the back of his tongue.

Arum's expression softens, surprise and aching fondness shaping his features, and he steps closer again so he may pull the both of them into his arms.

"I love you as well," the monster murmurs, sighing into their hair. "Now go and have your fun, will you? I expect further tales of glory and exultation when you return."

"Love you too," Rilla says with a snorting laugh, rolling her eyes as she pushes his scaled arms away, but Damien's heart still aches.

"I..." he trails off, uncertain, and he clings to one of Arum's hands for another moment.

"Please," Arum says softly. "Enjoy the evening for me, if you cannot enjoy it with me. I will still be here, when you tire of the lamplight."

"Alright," Damien says slowly, and then he kisses the back of Arum's hand before he releases it. "Until tomorrow, then, Lord Arum."

When the Keep opens a portal for them back to Rilla's hut, Damien does his best not to allow his eyes to linger on his lily for too terribly long. Rilla takes him by the hand, thankfully, and her unruffled feathers soothe Damien's own jagged edges as the portal closes again behind them.

When they are alone, Damien sighs, but he rallies his nerves in only a moment, and he raises an eyebrow as Rilla's grin goes toothy and wild.

"Alright. Alright, my flower. May I know, now, precisely what you have planned for our love?"

"Okay," Rilla says, her voice nearly trembling with her sly delight, "so, tell me if you like this idea-"

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #sir damien #lord arum #amaryllis of exile #a moment as an optimist #feed me comments i am famished

18 notes · View notes

pisati · 5 years

Text

I needed to sit on your reply a good part of the day so I didn’t message you earlier like “I hate myself and everything about me” but uh. that sentiment is still there, I’m just trying not to throw myself too far under the bus here

I think you misinterpreted my tone about the road thing, the corn thing, whatever else. I tend to be kind of deadpan with some of my humor unless I’m trying to obviously be sarcastic; I don’t actually think any of those things are wrong or whatever else. I hope you know that. I’ll joke with my friends sometimes about their little dialectal things; like how in western PA there’s infinitival copula deletion (”the clothes need washed” instead of “need to be washed”), or how they’ll say ‘pop’ instead of ‘soda’, and I’ll joke about how that’s ‘wrong’ sometimes. but as a linguist I really do find it fascinating; everything about linguistic variation is interesting to me. and it’s far from wrong, just different. I guess I just need to work more on how I’m coming across. but it would also help me if you could point it out, because I literally don’t even realize I’m doing it. or, rather, I don’t realize my tone is coming across as serious.

as far as “needing to be right” or “needing you to be wrong”; that’s something I really resent hearing, actually. it’s something charlotte does all the time and I absolutely hate it, but I’m sure some of that managed to rub off on me after being friends with her for literally half my life. I also don’t realize it when I’m coming across that way and I really don’t mean to. I’m not trying to prove you wrong or be argumentative, and I at least hope I do alright at accepting when I’m wrong. so I do apologize for that.

I’m also not super conscious of how I am in literally any setting where I’m not by myself, but it became pretty obvious when you brought up the dishes. like, why don’t I just go ahead and do them? it’s not that I don’t want to, or that I wanted you to do them instead. I know I would have done them all myself too. thinking back, though... I’m just like that. I don’t know why. if I’m by myself, I have control over my environment. or, at least.. that’s the best phrasing I have for it right now. when I was in my apartment at school, it was my space. my messes, my dishes, my things to take care of on my own time, and I’d do them. I clean my room at home and try to keep it clean, I clean my dishes at home when I’m up to it, so on. when I’m in a shared space, or in a space that isn’t my own, I don’t really know what to do with myself. I kind of default to letting other people take charge. I’m super unsure of myself and usually wait to be told what to do, because it’s not my space. I saw a post earlier today on facebook that hit me like a ton of bricks because this is basically what it feels like:

and the thing is... I don’t know if it’s a result of abuse. I don’t think I was so traumatized in childhood that I feel a real loss of autonomy. but I think that deep down there is some kind of fear that I’ll do something wrong and someone will be upset, so it’s safest just to wait to get some direction. I guess mom did snap at me enough as a kid that I was really hard on myself when I did something wrong. I constantly seem to have this feeling like “am I allowed...?” even in contexts where I can pretty much do whatever I want. in that space at the apartment, I did want to help, I just wasn’t sure what to do. I wasn’t sitting around waiting for you to take care of it. that’s my fault for not recognizing it sooner. I can’t expect you to direct me, but I guess that’s why I said “if you’d asked me to do the dishes I would’ve done them”. and “asking” is definitely different from getting an attitude with me and snapping at me over a single bowl in the sink like my mom does. something like hey, could you do these while I take care of food? or the like. that kind of thing is super helpful for me, and I’ve got zero problem with it.

the one thing I think I’m hardest on myself for is negativity. I try to avoid it. but I’ve been aware of it for a long time and I’ve been really hard on myself about it in the past. I know I have old blog posts somewhere just ripping myself apart because of how picky I seem to be about everything. I don’t like food, I don’t like drinking, I don’t like sex, I don’t like pretty much anything most people my age seem to like, I’m apparently real picky about my tv shows and music taste... there definitely are things I do like, but what seems to come out the most is what I don’t like, because so much of it is things other people do like. I don’t want to be a downer, I’m so sick of seeing myself like that. but that’s just how I come across, and I don’t know how to not be like this. it’s something I absolutely hate about myself. but by that same token, I guess that is where we’re just going to differ. I refuse to lie and fake shared interests. if I want a real bond with someone, I’m the kind of person who will keep looking til there is something we both like. maybe if we really are that different, we shouldn’t be trying so hard to make it work out. that’s the whole thing about toxic relationships and whatnot. I’m not suggesting that’s us specifically; I know you and I get along on some level. I was just really thrown by the fact that you lied about what shows you liked. that was something I thought we shared, and turns out it wasn’t. I personally don’t appreciate being lied to, even if it’s something small like that.

also me saying I don’t like something.. that isn’t me absolutely trashing it, or thinking you’re wrong for liking it, or whatever else. it’s just not something I like. my personal preference. doesn’t mean I hate it; if I hated it you’d know, lmao. I think it’s okay to admit when you don’t like something; everyone’s entitled to their opinions. I know it’s tiring with me because of how picky I can be. I’m not sure what to do about that, but like I said. I’m not going to lie. I don’t see what good it does. I only see lies getting worse and causing serious rifts and I’d rather avoid that if I can. I personally don’t see expressing a dislike for something as being outright negative; unless I really hate it, it’s just a statement. “no, didn’t like that so much, can we try something else” or “yes, liked that, more please” have pretty similar weight to me; they’re just personal opinions. not on any extreme end of positivity or negativity, you know? there’s a lot more grey area there, I think. you can’t possibly like everything, and I don’t think expressing dislike for things that genuinely don’t appeal to you is inherently being negative. maybe we’re just going to differ on that. I’m really not trying to be rude, I would just rather be honest so we’re not wasting time pretending we enjoy things we don’t. it’s not creating a genuine bond to do that, in my eyes. I don’t know that it’s ‘just human’ to do that either; I don’t think I know anyone who does. they’re maybe more gentle about expressing distaste, and I do try to be gentle about it myself, but I haven’t had anyone I know tell me they like something when they don’t. maybe that’s why that was so upsetting for me.

I am serious about not knowing what I can trust, though. I really don’t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear, and it’s going to take some work to earn that trust back. I won’t demand honesty from you if you see it as rude, but I’m going to leave it in your hands if you want me to trust you.

all said, though, it was a good week. I’m happy the weather held out. it really is beautiful there. I still can’t get over how clear the water was, ha. if you come to visit you’ll see what I mean. one of these days it’d be nice to go back, just... my future is really up in the air right now. I do need to be a little more careful, I think. I did go on this trip because I had the time and the money and why not enjoy my freedom while I have it, but it also did feel kind of impulsive and I really need to quit doing things ‘because who cares, nothing matters anyway’. I think there’s a pessimistic, nihilistic way to interpret that statement, and a more carefree way to interpret it as well. a lot of my impulsive decisions from the last year or two have fallen under the former. I’ve still got a lot of work to do on myself, as I’m sure you’re aware.

you don’t have to reply to any of this if you don’t want to. I know it took a lot to reply to my last post. I’m not trying to make excuses, just explaining.

1 note · View note

hcpefulmarshmallow · 5 years

Note

Hey not really meta but as tumblr's resident Komaeda expert (tm) what do you think his plan was with the laxatives? Walk up to the judges and be like "drink this it's for luck 🤥😁"??

Send Me A Topic To Write Meta On // always accepting.

This has been in my inbox for forever and I’m sorry anon, I just wanted a chance to rewatch the episode in question before I answered. Also, from now on, I refuse to be referred to as anything but the Resident Komaeda Expert™ so thank you lmao.

Also…this went on a bit. I’m not sorry for that.

There are 5 judges and 5 cups, and he does spike the cups (albeit with the wrong drug due to convoluted bullshit), so I can only assume he was going to slip them the laxative to delay the exams. Initially I thought his plan might involve a roulette type thing as a part of his exam in order to get the judges to drink with him or something, but that doesn’t really check out with only 5 cups. I guess maybe he was going to give them the drinks as a courtesy or something. It really isn’t clear, and doesn’t make sense anyway. Wouldn’t they have drinks already? Why would they take lukewarm water from a random student if not for his exam? Though to be honest, the whole plan was freaking weird from the start. I know he goes to life-threatening lengths in the killing game, but that was during a killing game. He’s a smart boy and a brilliant strategist, you’d think he could come up with something that didn’t put anyone in literal danger? Also the fact that his initial plan is a threat on the school, then his next is a laxative, and then a literal fucking bomb. That’s some weird escalation there.

There’s a lot of overwriting of Nagito in this situation. It gets very tiring. They really step it up a notch in terms of the miserable, pessimistic mood he takes on at times. In the game, there’s usually a reason for this - however small or seemingly insignificant. He will make a mistake, or witness something unlucky, and thus the self-denigration. There’s a reason and rhyme to the way he is. Contrast that with this example: the day of the exams, Nagito is on his way to enact his plan, when he literally runs into Seiko, knocking them both to the ground. They talk for a moment, before Seiko realises she’s late and runs off. Despite the collision (in which no one is hurt, mind you), the conversation goes fine. Seiko is a little awkward as always, but he does manage to make her smile. He has no reason to be upset. He doesn’t know their bags have been switched, or anything out of the ordinary has resulted from the exchange. Yet he still say something to the effect of “so much for that” in such an unhappy tone. It makes no sense. There’s no reason for him to go all it’s just my luck :/ on us except that Ko’s gotta Ko, I guess.

I also find it interesting that Seiko told Nagito to his face what the laxative was called (reactivator) and he still managed to confuse it with the other drug (reanimator). I watched the absolute trip that is the dub, so maybe there’s something in the original Japanese that explains this, but that just seems kinda dumb on his end.

The anime is full of moments like that where they break a character down to their most stereotyped form, or throw in some BS that doesn’t make sense and feels cheap and lazy, even with the plot device that is Nagito’s luck; but this episode is particularly egregious. Possibly because it so heavily features Nagito. And it’s just easier to write him as a one-dimensional hope hoe than to remember how much depth and nuance went into him originally.

Of course, Nagito isn’t the only one done wrong by this episode. I need to feel for Seiko, too. I liked her a lot, but this whole arc just didn’t do her justice. What happened to her wasn’t fair, and the story never seems to notice.

For a bombing incident, Hope’s Peak’s investigation and handling of the matter is weaksauce. The whole thing was Komaeda’s doing, yet he gets off with just a suspension, because his talent is too…valuable? I mean, I get that his luck is intense, but I don’t get why Seiko and Sonosuke were expelled for it, considering their involvement was sheer accident. I kind of get Ruruka, since she was the one who was cheating, and that’s a separate matter, and grounds for expulsion (presumably) anyway. And there’s something to be said for facilitation: Seiko provided the drug, Sonosuke was present during the exchange and did nothing. That might warrant a suspension too, particularly for Sonosuke, but Seiko was bullied into it. Shouldn’t that count for something? By this point, it wasn’t even the first time Seiko had been bullied into something by Ruruka. Ah, but why should I be surprised? We all know Hope’s Peak’s bullying policies are…….non-existent.

Basically what I get from this is: either the school didn’t know everyone’s exact level of involvement, or didn’t care. And considering how open Komaeda was about the way things went down afterwards, that seems very negligent to me.

Seiko is shy and jittery, the characteristics of someone who is either mega anxious, or used to being mistreated. Ruruka doesn’t treat her well at all. Sonosuke allows it. Most of the students at school use her for what they can take from her. She gets a moment of pure joy just hearing she genuinely helped Nagito out. That is an amazing foundation for a character - someone who wants to help but is just used by everyone in her life. And yes, I know it comes to something in the sequel portion of the anime, but I’m still mad about it nonetheless. Seiko deserved a better anime. So did Nagito. So did everyone.

And while I’m here and throwing shade!! I’ve already expressed my disdain for the exams. The way they force these kids’ identities and self worth to revolve around a talent the school deems worthy, then threatens to take it all away on live TV. The way there’s no workaround for these kids after two of them just lost people very close to them. But here’s another thing: just who do these panelists think they are, and why should we care about their opinions? According to the Hope’s Peak DR Wikia page, they’re a group of “dignitaries and experts” which, right off the bat, can go get bent. There’s no way that five people have enough expertise between them to judge if the wide variety of talents at Hope’s Peak truly is the best in the world. No way. And even if there was such a group of people, you’d think this panel would include, oh, say…their principal or the scout who initially found these people?? But Jin Kirigiri is nowhere in sight, nor is Kizakura, or any other former or current scout. Especially because the students’ place at the school is on the line. It’s just so stupid, and at this point, I don’t even know if it’s intentional or not.

I know this got way off-course for a while there, I just had a lot of thoughts while rewatching. Tl;dr: that’s the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard, but knowing the way this anime could be at times, I wouldn’t be surprised.

#Anonymous #answered #meta;#ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴀɴ ɪɴɴᴇʀ ᴍᴏɴᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ [mun speaks]#long post/

7 notes · View notes

lanceville · 6 years

Note

Hello, I really want to get this out of my mind, so I hope I do not bother you, if I bother you please ignore me, ok this will be long. I saw one of your previous answers, where you say that you feel different or with a weird mood, I've also been feeling weird, and I've been thinking about things that really stress me, I'm in a mood so pessimistic and depressing that I come crazy and terrible ideas about many things (part1)

one of those strange thoughts is this: LM and JDS have said (or so I’ve heard correct me if I’m wrong) that they do not want to talk much to avoid surprises about the plot of the following seasons … so I came this horrible thought. if they for example do not want to ruin the surprise about Klance by becoming a canon, Why do they talk so much about them? (part2)

why they give the fans so many hopes and make them believe that they will become canon if they want it to be a “surprise”?. then my pessimistic thoughts lead me to this, the surprise is not klance becoming canon, the surprise will be that another ship either All//ance, K and R or even worse She//ith is the one that will become canon. So if I’m not bothering you I’d appreciate it if you answered this, I’m sorry for bothering you with this stupidity (last part)

it’s alright bro, i gotchu.

first, it’s true that lm and jds and known to be super secretive about the plot and upcoming events, and they have been vague about lance’s and keith’s relationship until this interview. there are instances were they were talked about them in a romantic context several times too but i’m just gonna focus on this video for now. there are two reasons that they have decided to openly talk about it like that:

1. they were approached specifically by the author of this article to hear out what they think about the “science behind shipping,” since they’re the executive producers of the show with the most popular ship on the internet.

2. they’ve realized it’s necessary to keep avoiding klance at this point. the klance fandom is huge, and no matter how much they try hide who the endgame will be or even sway us a little bit from it, the klance fandom only grows each time. they never expected klance to gain such a huge fanbase so quickly and for the fans to pick up on the hints that easily. it was as if they were still in shock and denial that their endgame surprise has been exposed, but there’s no use denying it at this point. they know we’ll forever believe in the ship, so since everything’s exposed, they don’t see why they can’t engage with the fans about them. if it is really not the endgame ship, they would’ve tried to do more damage control to not break the hopes and fail the expectations of the fans later, but they only spoke positively about klance in that video.

and don’t allow yourself to think that, annonie. i know that it’s really worrying because of how little keith and lance have interacted in the past few seasons, but that does not mean in any way that their relationship has regressed. season six especially was the very definition of intense, and there was barely any time for keith to interact with any of the other paladins besides shiro. keith, especially, was under a lot of pressure, and they were all stressed. but now since everything’s calmed down and keith’s finally back on the team, things will get better. have faith.

(gonna put the rest under read more bc this has tuned way longer than expected)

and about other ships becoming canon, you can rule that idea out by the process of elimination.

keith/romelle and keith/allura are never gonna happen. you know why?

the endgame is between two main characters (”characters who have been present since the beginning″ aka the paladins). romelle isn’t

keith and allura have only ever interacted in what would seem like (but it isn’t) a romantic fashion in s2, and it was just bc of keith’s heritage. even though it’s kinda disappointing since i’d like to see more of their friendship, they’ve barely interacted with each other outside of missions. there’s no way they’re gonna develop romantic feelings for each other when neither has shown interest in the other.

literally

also dude keith’s clearly not straight. no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, the man isn’t. one look at him is enough to know that.

biggest proof is allura, a gorgeous space princess who everybody swoons over, falling right into his arms and him not even blinking a goddamn eye. his indifferent expression still cackles me tbh.

also, it’s known that the endgame involves lance, so if it’s a ship that does not include lance, then nah it’s not happening.

not gonna even bother with why shiteihaha will never become canon in a bazillion realities because it’s ridiculously clear as to why to those who have at least 2 functional brain cells. don’t even let that idea cross your mind.

this leaves us with all//ance. tbh, it did have a chance of becoming canon up until s5. but dude, after watching s6, i was like “did they just really kill this ship.” all//ance is really cute and sweet, and i wouldn’t have minded it becoming canon since both allura and lance really care about each and i loooooooooove their friendship so goddamn much. but this is the thing. what allura and lance have is friendship. they both were really good friends up until the writers decided to bring lance’s crush back from the bottomless pits for drama’s sake. lance’s crush on allura is so valid man. he truly does like her. but the thing that killed the ship wasn’t this; it was the whole love triangle drama. allura fell in love with lotor and never requited lance’s feelings even when she knew about them, meaning she does not view lance that way, and it’s her right - she can like whoever she wants. the writers said that romance will happen naturally in the show. if allura would ever reciprocate lance’s feelings, she would’ve at least displayed some signs of that at this point. she got to know lance and see some of his greatest moments. she even got to experience what lance dying would feel like, yet she still didn’t develop any romantic feelings towards him. if feelings of loss and grieve didn’t make her realize how important lance is to her romantically, then that’s because there are no romantic feelings present in the first place. it would not make sense at all for her to develop feelings for him later on. she cares deeply about him as a friend, and romantic love is not some upgraded form of friendship love - it’s a totally different type of the same class, and that’s what she feels about him.

it would be utterly cruel and unfair for both if they end up together after the shit that has happened in s6. allura would never find a lotor in lance, and lance would always feel inferior if he gets with allura because he know’s he’s no lotor - that he isn’t who she wants (lance is much better than all the boys in the entire universe and whoever has him is literally the luckiest person ever but this is not the point so moving on). allura’s feelings for lance would not be genuine, which would make allura feel bad because she would never want to make lance feel like a rebound or a second choice. lance, on the other hand, really likes allura, and being the helplessly selfless person he is, would accept to be allura’s rebound while being fully aware of it and accepting his fate as a second choice which, god, would take a heavy fricking toll on his already bad self-esteem issues. seriously man, every time i think about them getting together after s6, their relationship is just full of heartbreak and hurt, and i don’t want either of them to feel like that because they don’t deserve it. even the showrunners admitted that them getting together right after would be a disservice to both of them. i fucking love them both and their friendship so much and i don’t want anything to ruin it.

i wanna also elaborate on another point. if you’ve noticed, allura and lance shared a couple scenes that paralleled klance’s but they’re slightly more romantically-coded (the scene might seem this way but since allura has 0 romantic interest in lance it ain’t, but anyway). the reason i think they included such parallels is to tell the audience that, “if you see those a///rance scenes as romantic, then those previous klance scene were meant to be romantic as well :)” as i mentioned before, the writers were quite surprised we have picked up on klance pretty quickly and early. since they might’ve thought we wouldn’t, they might’ve thought “something” was needed to hint at where they’re planning on taking klance’s relationship, and that “something” is all//ance. but unlike all/urance’s scenes (especially the dying lance moment which resembled the bonding moment) where the romantic interest is one-sided, the similar feelings in klance’s scenes are reciprocated by both parties (bonding!!!! moment!!!!).

now then, guess which ship we’re left with!!!!! yup! it’s klance. i could go on and on and on and on about how they!!! are!!! gonna!!! be!!! canon!!! but i’ve seriously spoken too much (and i cant feel my fingers anymore erfberk) and i don’t even know if you even have read it all the way to end bc ik i’m quite boring when i explain stuff ebjrvkebr but!!! seriously dude. just go rewatch s3. that’s all the confirmation you need of their budding romance. they have some of the most trope-y romantic scenes. and dude, i say all that but, whatever happens, i will forever believe that there’s no better ship in this show than klance. nothing will surpass it.

edit: gonna just add the petty ask i sent voltron (that i knew they were never gonna answer but i had to send it nonetheless bc i needed to let the salt inside me out somehow lmao) because it’s succinct and summarizes what i said above lmao

#uhhhhh this turned REALLY long actually.... rip........#i'm sorry for replying late! i just needed to choose the right day to allot some time to replying to this properly #hope i could ease your worry a bit????#mp #analysis #klance #anon #asks

94 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

Text

Survey #170

this one’s a few days old and am just getting to posting it. don’t feel like rereading to change some old answers tho.

Do you tell your best friend everything? What might you omit? If she asked about a subject, I'd tell her. I wouldn't just be like "hey here's a little factoid I don't like talking about." Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yes. In your current or most recent romantic relationship, do/did you feel as though one of you settled? Not at all. What did your ex (or one of your exes) consider to be a dealbreaker in you? My depression. What seemingly small change have you made to improve your life this year? More drive to be an adult. Make the decision to try as hard as mentally possible to be more open about myself and not so scared of being found as "too weird." Does anyone in your family suffer from mental illness or substance abuse? Don't get me started on the first. I only know of my dad being a recovered alcoholic. What is the biggest gap in your employment history? How did/will you explain it to future employers? 0-19ish. Wasn't in the mental state to. Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about? She knows a lot. There's just one thing I'm not comfortable talking about yet. There's nothing I absolutely won't tell at any point - if you're in a serious relationship, they have the right to know. Has anyone ever tried to change your mind about something very personal, such as religion or wanting children? Children, yes. Colleen especially was convinced I was going to change my mind to an annoying degree. People have pushed me being a vet a whole lot, too. Do you ever hear about old school friends? Where are you high school friends now? Well, through FB. Most have stable jobs, some are extremely intelligent students headed towards amazing careers, some are parents. Most fell off the face of the earth. What is the most fun you can remember ever having under the influence? Cards Against Humanity. Has your Facebook relationship status ever been set to 'it’s complicated’? Why? Nooooo, and I seriously wish that option didn't even exist. Drama bait, whether intentional or not. What is the most beautiful/interesting name that you’ve ever personally known someone to have? Alon. Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours? Yes. How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual? One. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? Me?????????????? At a party?????????????????????? What is your strongest sense? Maybe you don't count this because it's not a "real" sense, but I would say I have an incredibly strong "sixth sense" of just knowing when something is wrong, even with people I don't know well. I pick up bad emotions easily. But if you're just talking sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell, I suppose smell? Or taste. Could be why I'm so picky. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? There is NO telling. I believed some wild shit. HAHAHA OH MY GOD WAIT NO I BELIEVED I HAD "ANIMAL POWERS" UNTIL THE END OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Like, I could go into a "mode" where I had capabilities like those in certain animals, like with kangaroo powers, I could jump higher. God that was so embarrassing to write jfc what the fuck was I on. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? Mom. She gives food, water, and sometimes money to homeless people she trusts as actually being without a home. There are two or three people she's actually "friends" with. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? A V O I D What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? I make situations awkward. Just social anxiety in general. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? Okay, so I don't think I believe in angels, and I'm 99% sure this was a dream by now. But once as a little kid, I have a *very* strong memory of getting out of bed and going outside because I felt I needed to see something, and two swans came to the porch, turning into my grampa and favorite cat that had died. Then I went back inside, and that's all I remember. Still to this day that shit didn't feel like a dream, but. It probably was. What do you think about more than anything else? The future. What’s your all-time favorite town or city? Why? I dunno. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? The friendship with Megan. Do you Skype? With Sara. Have you ever called anyone ‘bro’ other than your actual brother? I'll call p much anyone that. Have you ever blocked someone on MySpace before? Maybe? What is the best kind of pizza in your opinion? Pan meat lovers omfg. Stick with jalapeno tho with trying to at least lean towards vegetarianism. Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive? Eh... I think I've forgiven him. Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick? No. What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. How do you feel about weed? I'm totally for it medicinally. Helps with too many things. Otherwise, for reasons I've said in many old surveys, I don't believe it should be smoked. We already complain enough about cigarettes and lung cancer. How many people have you kissed that you weren’t dating? None. Who was the last person that ditched you? How did you react? Mini, I guess. Was hurt as fuck for years until I recently confronted her, and we're cool now. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt is like... my only male friend besides Dad. What size are the pants you’re wearing? Large, probably? Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I went neither way. Liked some songs, didn't like some, no opinion on others. Can you spot constellations in the night sky? Only the Big or Little Dipper. I dunno the difference. What kind of shampoo did you last use? I dunno exactly. Mom just put some in a smaller, nameless bottle for while I'm at Sara's. It's probably Suave, though. If you had a hippie bus, what would it look like? Gimme all the peace signs and trippy patterns. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? EXPLORE A CAVE BITCH Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? For my wedding, probably a veil. I can't see a flower crown going with a (probably) black dress lmao. Do you go barefoot often? I'm always barefoot in the house, but outside, I always have shoes. What is your favorite thing to get high off of? N/A What type of tattoo do you want? Most of the ones I want hold personal meaning. There's few I want to get for solely aesthetic purposes. What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Favorite constellation? *shrug* Beach wedding, forest wedding, or English countryside wedding? Forest! Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Do you have any big plans for November? No. What upcoming event are you most looking forward to? Christmas. I doubt Halloween's gonna be anything I'd like it to be. What was the last song you heard? "Letter" by Mother Mother is on. Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel that you have a lot to offer someone? HAHAHAHA NO. How many days a week do you work? N/A Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? Sara and Mom. Where did your eye color come from? Mom's dad had blue eyes, I think. Have you ever been in a recording studio? No. What is your worst relationship quality? I'm paranoid. I'm that "do you still like me?" person after marriage, I'm sure. What was your most recent serious injury? Does sun poisoning from Hell itself count? When was the last time you baked something for someone? Never lmao. Would you rather be kissed on the neck or on the lips? I mean it depends on the mood. What is one thing you’re not looking forward to in the next week? I'm going home Wednesday. Would you consider Christmas your favorite holiday? Second-fave. How many chances do you normally give someone before giving up on them? Way too fucking many. But it also depends on the offense and person. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yeah. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? Totally for. Would you say you’re more of a pessimist or optimist? I'm definitely a realist, but if I had to pick, I lean more towards pessimism. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? No. When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? Not really. Would you say you’re a friendly person or not so much? I think I'm very friendly, just shy and awkward socially. When was the last time you ate something from Burger King? LEMME TELL YOU THIS SHIT. Months ago, I went for a veggie burger. THESE. IDIOTS. Put all the normal shit BUT NO PATTY IN A FUCKING BUN. WHEN THEY HAVE ACTUAL VEGGIE PATTIES. We waited forever, so Mom was already in a bad mood. She went in and the manager was livid; she gave us a free drink and fries. BUT, the burger fucking sucked, it was so overcooked. Sooo that was fun. When someone mentions a song, does it make you wanna listen to it? Rarely if it's a song I don't know, unless I like the artist. Song title may interest me, too. Who is the nosiest person you know? Do you like them anyways? BITCH ME. Are you one of those people who like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Okay so, I first watched it in school and I didn't like it at all. Then I started loving it??? I have like sooo much Jack stuff. What’s the best food to have at a sleepover? Pizza! Do you like the yellow Cheetos better or the orange ones? You mean normal or hot? Gimme them spicy boiz. Do you know anybody with different colored eyes? No. Are any of your relatives vets? Don't believe so. Who cleans the most in your house? Mom. I really need to do it more. Do you own any shirts that cost over 100$? Jfc no. What about any shoes? Do you think that’s a lot of money for clothes? No, and obviously. What’s the movie theater in your town called? Uhhh I think Cinemax? How many minutes do you consider late? Over five. What kinds of food do you dunk into milk? Some cookies. Do you have any current or past teachers on your Facebook friends? No. Are there any baby pictures of you up? On FB? No. Do you have any friends who have bleached blonde hair? Maybe Alon still does, idk. Are you wearing any jewelry that a boyfriend/girlfriend gave you? No. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? Yeah. What’s the last thing you were excited to eat? A donut sobs. Who's the most romantic person you ever went out with? I dunno... none were/are like especially romantic. Is there anything hanging from the ceiling in your room? Some Pyramid Head gift tags, a stuffed fae dragon from WoW, and a cool lantern. Have you ever seen the last person you hugged dressed up fancy? Not in person, but in pictures. (If your parents married), Do you know where they got engaged? No. What was the last picture you printed of? The reference I made of my tattoo for the artist. What restaurant has the best fries? Bojangle's the Queen. What does your mailbox look like? Just a basic black one. Have you ever gotten something stuck on the roof? Probs as a kid. Does your computer make a lot of noise? Not really. Unless it's overheating. Who did you last drink or smoke up with? Mom and Sara. How many board games do you own? Idk, there's just a few in a cabinet in the living room. What does your BIGGEST mug look like? We don't have any really big ones. Newest musical discovery? I really love Powerwolf. Last thing you cleaned? Clothes. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? Purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, iPod, wallet, hand sanitizer, keys... Where is your newest scar? There's still a little scab on the bottom of my tat from heavy shading, but it's almost healed. If you mean like, "real" scar, cat scratch on my right hand. Where is your oldest scar? Ummm probably this random one on the top of my right wrist. No clue where it came from, been there for years. Last thing you disposed of? A bottle, I think? Are you good at recovering from injuries? I dunno. How many different public restrooms have you used this week? I think just one, at the reptile convention. Do you have more piercings or tattoos? Currently tied at six, but piercings the day I get home and get my tongue redone. What color and type is your vehicle? N/A Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? N/A What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Meerkats. What do you use to wash your dishes? Ugh, hands, gross. I refuse to have my own home that doesn't have a dishwasher. Last thing you measured? Ummm probably water when I was making ramen. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Ma, yes. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Sara although I don't see how, I needed a shower. @_@ Last person you told that they smell good? Sara. How many iPhones have you had? One, I think? Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Good question. Last compliment you received on your appearance? Uhhh idk. On your character/personality? Sara's mom pointed out this morning that she liked how I watch out for Sara and reminded her to call the library (applied there) and it made me so happy alkdjowie. Her approval is important to me. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? No. Woulda liked to, but. How many chargers do you have for your current cell phone? One, though Mom's fits mine, too. Do you have a good work/life balance? N/A Have you ever ordered pizza online? Yeah. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Yeah. What color was the last fish you had? I couldn't tell you. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. Have you ever read in the bathtub? I may've as a kid? Does your animal sleep with you? Roman, pretty much always. Rarely Teddy, but hhe doesn't like getting off the bed; I put him on it if he wants, so getting down's the only thing. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? I think I have, but I don't recall for what? How many favorites do you have on YouTube? Holy shit idk. I used to favorite almost anything I liked, though for like a year or so now I've been really picky with what I favorite because it's become a playlist I go to that I know will cheer me up or are just videos I find very important. What kind was the last chip you ate? Uhhhh Lays, p sure. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rockband? I physically cannot play "Hotel California" by the Eagles without moving in some sort of way or singing. The fucking solo ahhhhhhhhhh goosebumps every time.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

4 notes · View notes

abigailht · 6 years

Note

I’m convinced jaaron is happening too. Tom’s been more positive about it recently and I thought “oh he knows it’s coming now and has to start selling it”. I just want Jesus to have a story this season and not be completely ignored again. I can live without canon Desus esp if they get some screen time together but this show’s got a lot of improvements to make in my opinion and jaaron isn’t going to help :(

(I don’t mean to upset any of my fellow ship mates or anyone else, skip this post if you don’t like this topic at all, please. It’s just my thoughts…)

Yeah, actually, Tom being more positive about it recently also has kind of made me feel like something changed. They either told him something or he saw the script (if it’s already in the first eps, which could be) or whatever. It was a sudden change of heart with him… I mean, he could of course just try to be more neutral, buutt it just gives me those vibes it ain’t just that.

To me personally, the writing matters the most. If it were good, please don’t take offense, but I’d be okay with it? Buuutttttttt…I personally wasn’t happy with how it was portrayed and played out in the comics, and given how the last two seasons weren’t convincing in terms of good writing at all (I mean it fucking sucked! XD), I just don’t have hope at all of it being dealt with well. Jesus was sidelined for two seasons, his plot has been stripped away from him and given to other random characters, his scenes were cut out, even scenes that were promoted didn’t make it into the final cut. (I mean, are you effing kidding me?!) So… No high hopes here…

(click keep reading to continue reading…. ->)

But I still don’t want us all to feel bad about this now?We all said from the start that Desus is most likely not going to happen on the show anyway, right? But there was always hope. And also all those things making the ship very appealing and possible to happen, the scenes we saw and interpreted, they are all there.

But sadly? Unless it’s canon, those can all just be a matter of interpretation, and not to sound too negative, but the writers could just brush those things off and be like “y'all read too much into stuff lmao.”

Whatever happens, our ship has been fucking creative and talented from the very start and I hope it will continue to be that way. The fanfic, the editing, the art. Fucking amazing! I myself will probably stay and ship away forever, lol, let’s not get discouraged by Canon. And YES to them having screentime together! Be it platonic! I’d be happy :)))

We all ship this for a reason, and those reasons are still there, and they won’t be taken away no matter what happens :)) Canon on the show is just one possible AU, and we can have our AUs in fiction etc. 😁 (ok I am trying to be positive and hopeful, but it’s hard since I’m a pessimistic person. Just know that I tried to be motivational xD Give me that “you tried” star, thank you 😂)

Thank you for the ask, Anon I usually don’t get these :))

(please, for future reference, if you send asks, try to censor other ship names so the answer won’t show up in their tags, which might be seen as rude. (Like this: J/aaron ;)) and apologies to any j/aaron shipper who came across this and felt uncomfortable. It was not our intention at all)

#desus #darus #daryl x jesus #desus discussion #aby answers #anonymous

29 notes · View notes

yunhycran-blog · 6 years

Text

( the cuteST )

for once i don’t have a long ass spiel typed before introducing myself, imagine that ! hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and uh, i’m rly pulling this stunt again huh !! bc of lo siento fucking me up, i’m giving this brat one last shot in the group rp realm rather than pick up a new muse ( i am.. v convinced i kill or ruin rps by presence alone but with her ?? it’s tenfold so fingers crossed GKSKGKSL ) i’m just.. rly attached to her ok.

i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo if that wasn’t already obvious, plus i’m 90% sure at least a quarter of you have seen me use hyeran before so this shouldn’t be a surprise to you SDKGJGKLDFS. you can find extras abt her — including stats — HERE, hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( STREAM LO SIENTO !!#2030 ) and with that, i’ll shut up and ( re ?? perhaps ? dfgjslkg ) introduce you to this brat !

` +⬦･ﾟ——— SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL — YUN HYERAN is said get mistaken for JEON SOMIN on campus all the time. they are TWENTY-TWO and about to go into their SENIOR YEAR. rumour has it they’re majoring in MUSIC COMPOSITION and came all the way from DAEGU, SOUTH KOREA. their roommate says they’re EBULLIENT & RESOLUTE but also SELF-CRITICAL & CIRCUMSPECT. ( kat, 20, gmt-3:30, and she/her )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back that i tweaked a bit for the rp, and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate much of her bg, so you can check out all of that HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, albeit barely. he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her, or at least that’s how she perceives it, and she tends to distance herself from him

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) but transferred to busan u after some.. shit and her own feelings ? anyways she was content when she settled here and soon found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at a café off-campus

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt a year now

she’s not even close to making it big yet ofc, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short since i took out a bit from when she was recent uni grad!hyeran so, pardon that sgkljgskfld

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being — by that i mean another two years or so ?? LJSKSDFGJ my baby’s still hurt by his bullshit so — but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

don’t confuse that with her being v forgiving, weak, etc, etc. she’s a soft bitch, p vulnerable too ngl but.. she’s not that Dumb sdljfkg

speaking of vulnerable, she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, transferring to busan was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but.. still dgklsf

don’t confuse that with optimism tho, bc she’s a bit of a defensive pessimist deep down, with her optimistic side always trying to overpower it

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french ( and uh, i studied that for almost ten fucking years with a shit end result on that end of things LKSDFGJGDKF ), but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

.. i would tho js

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet as an homage to jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten back in daegu ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin wears a lot ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them for reading and especially while she’s working on shit on her laptop, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in hs was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café, even took up a couple of courses since attending uni

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoiding listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

#busans.intro #╳┊: — bitch you’re gonna die ! •「 ooc. 」#i've had this saved in my drafts since right after i sent my app in sgjklsfdg

5 notes · View notes

octannibal-blake · 7 years

Note

Halloween party with the gang! Bellamy and Clarke aren't exactly friends, but he/she can't deny she/he looks great in her/his costume this year...

aw thanks for the prompt, kat! lmao this got sooo long and i apologize ahead of time. i’m not sure if this is what you intended but this is where i ended up – i may have watched how i met your mother and the slutty pumpkin episode before this so…i blame that. anyways, i hope it’s enjoyable!

and so, we meet again

2013

It is onHalloween night that Bellamy decides he’s moved in to the worst apartmentcomplex ever. He’s sitting on his couch, perfectly content to write his essayin peace and drink shitty beer. He hates this stupid holiday, always has, andwould rather pretend that it’s just another day. Instead, he hears a knock onhis window and turns around defensively, poised to break the glass bottle overthe intruder’s head. Turns out, it’s just a pirate. Or his neighbor, dressed asa pirate, rather.

“Someone’sjumpy,” Nathan Miller comments, holding his hand (one actual hand, and one fakehook) up in surrender, “Chill, dude.”

He setsthe bottle down on the table with a deep breath, “Do you make it a habit toenter other people’s apartments unannounced?”

Miller shrugs,“Isn’t that kind of the point of sharing a fire escape?”

Bellamyrolls his eyes. He only moved into this apartment over the summer. His sisterjust began her first semester of college at NYU and he has been finishing hisMaster’s degree at Columbia (honestly, thank God both of them are smart becausethey couldn’t just afford this kind of education on their own). They decided torent an apartment in the city, thanks to a heft amount of help from theirgrandparents and working full time at the pub in the basement. The day theymoved in, they met their neighbors. Nathan Miller, the broody full-timemechanic and his boyfriend, Monty. The IT guy. That’s how Miller introducedhim, anyways.

“Let’sgo,” Miller gestures and begins to move back out the window. Bellamy doesn’tfollow. He might like his neighbors, and sure they’ve had a few nights inplaying Mario Kart on the 64, but now he comes in dressed as a pirate and justtells Bellamy to follow him? Sounds sketchy.

“Where?”

Millerstops and turns around dramatically and holds up his hook hand, “Costume party.On the roof. It’s an annual thing. Everybody in the building goes.”

“Nothanks,” he responds.

Tenminutes later he’s on the damn roof, music blaring out of someone’s ownpersonal amp and chatter filling the empty space. It’s a very well put togetherparty and it does seem like everyone in the building is in attendance – heshouldn’t be surprised. It’s a cheap complex close to college campus. Brokecollege students fill most of the rooms and this is very much the kind ofthings college kids would do. Unless you’re Bellamy, because fuck Halloween.

He sipsfrom his drink stoically, rolling his eyes at some of the costumes. Some ofthem are pretty typical – he’s seen multiple Avenger’s costumes. Plenty of sexynurses (which, he is absolutely not opposed to). He isn’t the kind of guy todress up, though. It’s just lucky that he happened to be wearing a t-shirt thatsays “costume” when Miller basically drug him from his apartment.

“Nicecostume,” a voice enters into his dramatic reverie. Next to him, a blondeprincess is filling her cup with the shitty vodka punch. She adjusts her tiaraas it begins to fall off her head and looks up at him with a smirk. She makesno movement to leave, just leans against the table and gives him a solid onceover. Apparently, she does not appreciate his t-shirt and jeans.

“Not intocostume parties?” she asks.

He shrugs,“Not into Halloween.”

This makesher roll her eyes at him, “Wow, you’re one of those people.”

One of thosepeople? He glares at her for a moment, “If one of those people means notwanting to contribute to a stupid holiday, then yeah, I am.”

“What’snot to like! Free candy. An excuse to dress up. Big parties?” the Princessseems to very much into Halloween, her costume speaking volumes. And she soundslike he had been personally attacking her when he said he didn’t like it. He’sentitled to an opinion.

“Overpriced candy, expensive outfits you only wear once, and not to mention some ofthose outfits appropriate multiple cultures and are thinly veiled racism,” hepoints out. He’s put a lot of thought into this over the years. Everythingabout Halloween is annoying and overrated.

“Wow,” shebreathes out, clearly surprised by his passionate answer, “You really have alot of feelings about this.”

“I’m justa realist,” he shrugs again, “This punch is terrible.”

“I canagree with that,” she says before making a show of chugging her own cup, “Butit tastes better the drunker you are.”

He getsanother cup. The Princess makes no show of going away to enjoy the dance flooror the free candy offered. Instead she remains at the drink table with him and somehow,they end up talking about extremely…intense topics. She’s in nursing schooland apparently, hates every minute of it. He tells her about failing his lastexam because he was working too many hours at the bar. It becomes a bitpessimistic at times. She decides to change the subject before he does.

“I knowit’s a mask,” she says after spotting a ridiculous Barack Obama costume, “Butit feels wrong to dress up as the President. Like they’re trying to insulthim.”

“Would yousay the same if someone came dressed as George Bush?” he asks, and not evenbecause he disagrees with her. But mostly because she looks really cute the wayher cheeks are flushed and her hands a flailing around trying to explain ethicsto him.

“I wouldprobably feel differently about that,” she points to the Obama mask wearingoffender, “If it wasn’t a white person.”

He liftshis cup to her, “Touché.”

He decideshe likes this Princess, even if she is a Halloween supporter. She’s got spunk.She’s feisty and she’s making the party somewhat bearable. Yet, somehow, onlyan hour has passed at the drink table before her phone goes off.

“I gottarun,” she says downing the rest of her drink and tossing the cup in the trash,“But thanks for entertaining me. Do you still hate Halloween?”

“That’snot changing,” he responds immediately. She only grins at that.

“Oh, Ithink it will.”

2014

He findsthat he really likes his apartment. Miller becomes one of his closest friend, asort of friendship he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Not since Raven Reyesdecided to go be an engineer at some prestigious college on the coast. Heenjoys having Miller around and even Monty has made an effort to includeBellamy in his D&D group. It’s not something he thought he would enjoy butactually, he loves it. Octavia stays pretty busy with school and hasn’t beenhome much, so he’s been forced to occupy his time with other things. Nerdythings, as his sister called them. He doesn’t really care. He feels like he’sfinding a home at this place.

They go tothe rooftop again for Halloween this year and he isn’t forced this time. Millerand Monty go as two video game characters he’s never heard of, which is verythem, and he keeps his costume. Miller rolls his eyes at the familiar oranget-shirt but doesn’t make him change. That’s a true friend. When they arrive,there are a few more people than last year and there seems to be two speakersinstead of one. They’re trying to make it a bit more exciting, according toMonty, but Bellamy thinks it’s just right.

He mightbe down to party, he still hates this holiday and probably will until the dayhe dies. Seriously, what was the fucking point of it? He leaves his friends tograb a drink and though he remembers how disgusting the punch was last year, hestill pours himself a cup. Yep, just as disgusting.

“Niceoutfit,” is how it starts once again. He turns to find the princess once againpouring herself a drink. It takes him a moment to recognize her, she’s got abrown wig twisted on the side of her head. Princess Leia. How original.

“I couldsay the same to you,” he comments with a scoff. She moves next to him, thewhole things feeling very much like a routine between the two of them despitebeing strangers. He hadn’t seen her since last Halloween. He figured she musthave moved on with her life, whatever that may be. Apparently, she just makes appearancesat the Halloween party.

“PrincessLeia is a badass,” she defends, and the spell begins again. He isn’t sure whatit is about her. She has a way of making him feel as though they’re old friendscatching up – she updates him a nursing school and he tells her about finishingundergrad and completing his Master’s. She tells him about wanting to be anartist but being pressured into nursing. He tells her about raising his sister.It’s all pretty fucking ridiculous considering he doesn’t even know her name.

“You wannadance?” she asks during a comfortable silence between them. Normally, he wouldsay no. But he finds himself nodding and following her to the dance floor.

“You a fanof Halloween yet?” she asks as he twirls her around to the sounds of MonsterMash.

“Hell no,”he responds, “You’ll have to try a little harder, Princess.”

She smirksat that, “Did you not get to trick or treat as a kid?”

He dipsher and she giggles, “Not really. Not a great neighborhood for getting candy.Might end up with a bag of meth instead.”

He doesn’tmean to get all serious. He’s just being honest. His mom worked hard to providefor them but they didn’t grow up in a great area. Not the kind of place to hangout and play baseball outside or anything. He’s okay with that. But she giveshim a pitying look and he lets go of her hand.

“I didn’tsay it to make you feel bad for me,” he grumbles defensively, and he’ssurprised when she gives him a soft smile.

“Oh, Idon’t,” she reassures him and he can’t help but feel a bit confused. Shesmiles, “I just think it’s all the more reason for you to give Halloween achance now that you’re older.”

Hechuckles at that, “You’re awfully determined.”

“This ismy favorite holiday.”

“We allhave our flaws,” he responds, and she gives him a playful shove and he grabsher hand. For a moment things are silent and he feels a magnetic pull towardsher. Something about her intrigues him and okay, she’s beautiful with herexpressive blue eyes and soft smile. Just as his lips brush against hers, herphone rings. She jumps back and stares at the screen, something changing in herface. She looks almost…sad.

“I have totake this,” she says apologetically. Before he can question her any further,she disappears.

Shedoesn’t come back.

2015

He findshimself choosing to celebrate Halloween, or rather, choosing to celebrate onbehalf of someone else. Gina, his girlfriend, had been adamant about doingsomething fun for the holiday. She likes dressing up and having a good time andhell, he doesn’t want to be the one to stop her. So, rather than go out andspend money he doesn’t have at some bar, he figured the rooftop party would bejust the place.

It’s moreof a spectacle this year. Some of the residents of the complex created acommittee to help spruce it up and when he arrives, it’s a vast difference fromthe past small soirees. There are lights strung up around the roof top, morepatio furniture had been added. There’s a DJ (though it’s just Monty’s friendJasper who also plays D&D on Wednesdays). There also seems to be morepeople, but this has it’s perks. Instead of cheap beer and shitty punch thereis more variety at the drink table. There are bottles and bottles of liquorfollowed by liters of soft drinks. Part of him thinks having a table to mixyour own drinks is an awful idea, but he plans on standing guard at the drinktable, anyway.

“Let’sdance!” Gina pleads with him when they arrive. The music is loud and pop-y andthe dance floor is littered with awful costumes and awkward people. He wouldrather stab out his eyes.

“Mybrother doesn’t dance,” Octavia says from behind them and when he turns around,he’s ready to have an aneurysm. She’s wearing an intricate bathing suit topwith a long, green sequined skirt. She has scales painted on her face. Afucking mermaid.

“When didyou pierce your belly button?” is all he can say, hating the silver piece ofjewelry currently dangling from her navel. She’s an adult, he knows that, butit’s still his baby sister and Jesus, isn’t she cold?!

“Come on,Gina,” Octavia rolls her eyes and pulls his girlfriend to the dance floor. Hestomps his way to the drink table because, yeah, it’s going to be a long night.

He decidesto start off with a Jack and Coke, because the old legends say drinking beerfirst thing is the sure way to get sick. And, okay, he’s tested that theorybefore and it is definitely accurate. He takes his spot next to the drink tableand tries to take a drink, unsuccessfully, when his ears nearly fall of hishead. Stupid costume.

“Niceoutfit,”

He turns automatically to have his suspicionsconfirmed. The Princess stands before him, pouring her drink and grinning athim like an idiot as she takes in his costume. Gina had really insisted ondressing up for this and honestly, he really wants to make her happy becauseshe’s a cool chick and he likes her a lot. So when she suggested they go asbugs bunny and Lola bunny, he wasn’t really against it. He likes Space Jam andit’s a simple costume. So he let her order a pair of bunny ears for him and lethe glue a tail to a pair of his old basketball shorts. He’s a good boyfriend.

He’s aboutto bite out a “thanks” when he notices what she’s wearing. There is no wig. Notiara. Instead her blonde hair is all natural, cut just below the chin and hereffort in a costume minimal this year. His jaw snaps shut when he reads theorange t-shirt she’s wearing. It reads, “Costume”.

“Veryfunny,” he deadpans, and it only causes her to grin in triumph.

“Thanks,”she laughs, “For the inspiration, I mean. I’m someone who hates Halloween.”

“Yeah,” herolls his eyes, “I got that.”

“Youshould be flattered,” she says as though it’s obvious, “I couldn’t have donethis without you.”

“Thanksfor the credit.”

It’sstrange how they fall into an easy conversation after that, like last year theyhadn’t been about to make out on the dance floor and she hadn’t justdisappeared. He had thought about her for weeks after that, tempted to try andfind her one way or the other. But then he met Gina and he pushed all thoughtsof the Princess away from his mind. Until now, as she stands before him in acostume influenced by his dry humor and pessimism. He can’t help but feel alittle flattered, after all.

She askshim about his year and he tells her all the fine details, issues in hisdepartment at school and getting offered to study abroad for a semester. That’ssomething he hadn’t even told Gina but with her, it comes out like it’s no bigdeal. She congratulates him on the opportunity and tells him about her ownexperience – she’s a nurse and got the opportunity to go to the Caribbean tohelp in the aftermath of a natural disaster. Talking to her makes him feel likehe’s talking to a figment of his imagination. It’s easy to get lost and that’s prettydamn scary.

He doesn’teven notice when Gina comes up behind him.

“Bell?”she asks warily, looking between him and the Princess uncomfortably. He givesher a reassuring smile.

“Hey,” heputs an arm around her and she melts into him immediately, “I was just talkingabout you.”

Mostlyabout how scared he is to tell her about being away for three months, butstill. He doesn’t want her to feel neglected or anything. He likes her. A lot.

“You wannaget out of here?” Gina asks leaning into him, her breath hot on his neck. Helooks over her head for a moment to at least say goodbye to the Princess, maybeeven get her name because now she knows a little too much about him. But she’sgone already, having slipped away as Gina rolled into them. He turns hisattention back to his girlfriend and gives her soft kiss.

“Sure.”

2016

“I cameall the way here to go to this stupid rooftop party, so you’re going to takeme!”

RavenReyes is a lot of things. A spitfire, for one, ready to kick any and everyone’sass at any given moment. She’s also demanding, something he learned early on intheir friendship to deal with. Except today. Because he’s really not in thefucking mood.

“Go withOctavia,” he mutters under his breath, clicking into the next episode of NewGirl without a second thought. It’s once again his least favorite holiday andhe had a really shitty day at work. It’s his first semester as a teacher at thehigh school and the kids were extra rambunctious today. He’s got one hell of aheadache.

“Bellamy,get your ass up and let’s go,” she yanks the remote from his hand and begins topull on his arms, “You can wear your stupid ironic t-shirt for all I care,we’re going.”

He findshimself on the roof again. It’s been a year of ups and downs for him. Hestudied abroad in Greece, which has to be the highlight because it is probablythe second best experience of his life (the first being when he held his babysister for the first time – he’s a sap and he doesn’t care). He graduated withhis Master’s in history and had just begun his first teaching gig. On thedownside, Octavia moved in with her boyfriend, Lincoln, and he had to paydouble the rent for almost three months before finding a new roommate. His nameis John Murphy and he’s almost positive he’s a sociopath, but a cool sociopathonce you get to know him. Gina also broke up with him about three weeks beforehe left for his trip. Long distance wasn’t really her thing. He doesn’t blameher.

Ravendecided to come visit him for the first time in two years, mostly because sheand her boyfriend just broke up and she needed time away. But also because shemissed him and he had been in a foul mood for the past few months and neededcheering up.

He makeshis way to the drink table and takes up his usual post after introducing Ravento all the regulars. When he introduces her to Luna, his downstairs neighbor,well, it’s all over from there. He doesn’t see Raven again that night. Butthat’s not the part that bothers him. He spends over an hour at the drink tableand she never shows. The princess who copied his costume and who learned hisdeepest secrets before his fucking name. He thought maybe this would become athing. Like maybe she’s supposed to show up and talk him through his crisisevery Halloween. It’s a stupid expectation. Hell, he’s not even positive she’sreal.

Hefinishes four drinks before giving up and going home. Fuck Halloween.

2017

“Pleasewear it!”

He staresat the offending garment like he’s hoping to burn a hole through it,“Absolutely not.”

“You’lllook so hot!”

“Ew,please don’t ever say that again.”

Ravenhuffs at her roommate. He’s being stubborn, he knows that, but she knows how hefeels about costumes and she’s trying to force him to be part of a groupcostume which is just…it’s fucking cheesy.

“Please!”she begs, adjusting her own pink jackets as she pulls her hands together in aplea, “Even Murphy is doing it! Emori!”

She wantshim to dress up as one of the guys from Grease, leather jacket, hair gel, andtight pants. It’s a bit over the top if you ask him. He hates it. He shouldhave known this is how things would go when she moved in – what Raven wants,Raven gets. After last year, she decided to move to New York to be closer toher friends. She’d never admit it, but he also thinks it has something to dowith Luna. The two aren’t official by any means, but they spend a lot of timetogether. Raven says she isn’t into labels, so whatever, but he knows the girlcares about her.

“I don’tremember ever saying I would be a part of this, you just signed me up,” hepoints out. She had brought it to him as soon as he got home from work. She didhappen to catch him a good day, mostly because there were no students at work(it was an in-service day which meant he had a quiet classroom all to hisself). But going as the cast of Greaseis a sure way of bringing his good mood down.

“We’re alldoing it,” she argues again, “Besides, this is going to be the biggest partyyet! Miller is proposing to Monty!”

He knowsthis. Miller has already been to his apartment to freak out on numerousoccasions. They’ve been dating for almost seven years but only recently hasmarriage been legalized in all fifty states and they feel comfortable enough todo it. He’s happy for them and they honestly make him believe that love doesexist – they’re a good match and he knows how happy Monty makes him.

“I’m notdoing it.”

Thirtyminutes later, he finds himself on the fucking roof again with the leatherjacket slung over his shoulders. Raven can be very persuasive. They’re standingin the group and he realizes how much thought Raven really did put into this.Everyone is here and dressed up – Murphy and Emori, Octavia and Lincoln, Millerand Monty. Hell, even Luna came dressed as a Pink Lady.

“Where thehell is Clarke?” Raven hisses to Luna when she arrives. He has no idea whoClarke is, but Raven has already made more friends in her short time here thanhe has since he moved in. So, no surprises there.

“She’salways late, you know that,” Luna rolls her eyes, “She’ll be here.”

“Yo,Danny,” Raven calls and it takes him a moment to realize she’s talking to him,“Go grab me a beer.”

“I’m sorry,are you incapable?” he snaps and runs a hand through his hair, only for hisfingers to get stuck in the hair gel.

She flipshim the finger and he shuffles over to the table. Not because she told him too,he was already going to come here. He’ll just be nice and grab her a beer whilehe’s over here. Because he’s polite. And definitely not because she told himto. He reaches into the cooler to dig around for his favorite – he’s stickingto beer tonight. He has to teach in the morning.

He feels afamiliar pull and knows she’s there before she speaks.

“Wow,” shesays as he stands up, the buckles of his jacket clanking together, “Niceoutfit.”

He turnsslowly and before he can control it, his jaw opens slightly. It’s the Princess,alright, except she isn’t a princess at all. She’s dressed in a tight blackbody suit, and it’s clinging to every luscious curve of her body, paired with aleather jacket eerily similar to his own. He’s seen Grease enough time torecognize a Sandy when he sees one. He practically chokes on air. He looks overhis head to see the others watching him and Raven is looking extremely smugwhich makes him think she had something to do with this. He has no idea how shecould know, or how she could possibly be involved. But if anybody could figureit out, it’s her.

“I’mLuna’s roommate,” she seems to read his mind and she extends her hand with ahalf-smile, “Clarke Griffin.”

“Youweren’t here last year,” he says stupidly. He should introduce himself.Compliment her outfit because, damn. But all he can think about is that shewasn’t here last year.

She dropsher hand and glances down at her feet sheepishly, “I was working. New nursesalways have to work holidays.”

“Oh,” heresponds and still can’t figure out what to say. She’s been living in thisbuilding the whole time and he never once ran into her? She never tried to findhim despite their almost hook up two three years ago? Holy shit this has beengoing on that long?

“I guessthis is as weird for you as it is for me?” she asks, “I can leave, if you want.I know we’ve kind of been like…weirdly intimate but don’t really know eachother? And, honestly, I gave up when you showed up with a girlfriend but nowyou’re here and Raven said you’re single and you look really hot in thatcostume…”

It’s thisprecise moment that his brain actually decides to function and he laughs,watching as this girl he’s been dancing around for four years on the same dayrambles away about their strange relationship and admittedly having a crush onhim, similar to the way he’s felt about her. She’s been sort of his own littletradition – like every Halloween he goes to the roof to talk to this mysteriousgirl about all the things he was afraid to admit outloud to everyone else. Andshe’s fucking real and standing in front of him in a matching costume because,surpise, she actually knows his friends and lives two floors below him. Whatare the fucking odds.

He’shaving a hard time processing it all and wants to claim insanity when he slidesa hand into her thick curls and surges forward to kiss her. She stiffens and hepulls away, heart pounding in his chest and feeling completely disoriented.

“Shit,that was weird,” he panics, “I’m Bellamy. But you probably already know thatand…God, I’m sorry.”

She laughsthen, sweet and shy as her eyes search his own frantic ones, “No offense,Bellamy, but we’ve been talking for four years. Aren’t you tired?”

Shedoesn’t need to ask twice. He kisses her again and faintly hears the PinkLadies and the T-birds in the background hooting and hollering in theirapproval. It’s bizarre. But Halloween is a bizarre holiday and honestly, hemight not hate it so much after all.

#liz answers #my writing #bellarke fanfiction #halloween au #bellarke prompt fill #im sorry #idk how good this is but i loved the idea lol

152 notes · View notes

franeridart · 7 years

Note

Hey, Fran! Have u ever consider headcanon abt Baku and Kiri met before they entered Yuuei? I mean, just think about it: Baku is a huge bully while Kiri stand up for them who get bullied. Like?? What if they got into fight?? How would they react when they meet again in Yuuei?? WHAT IF KIRI HATED HIM BEFORE

Aw anon, I’m so not gonna give you the answer you hoped you’d get to this haha I’ve talked briefly about something on these lines on my main blog not too long ago, but in general the way I feel about this is, there’s no way Kirishima could ever hate Bakugou. I’m positive their relationship would have been a friendship whatever moment in time they were to meet, tbh!

And this is in part about how Kirishima just doesn’t seem to know how to hate, like, anything so why would he hate Bakugou of all people, but it’s also about how I don’t feel like Bakugou changed all that much between middle school and the first day of high school? Kirishima didn’t meet a perfect version of Bakugou, he met a Bakugou that lauched himself at Deku and had to be restrained by Aizawa, a Bakugou that blew up half a building to beat Deku, a Bakugou that was more yelling and explosions than anything else - and Kirishima looked at him and saw him anyway, you know? He looked at Bakugou fighting against Deku and thought “he looks desperate”. He looked at Bakugou and didn’t stop at his yelling and violence, not even in the very beginning. This would have happened before their UA days too, in my opinion - Kirishima and Bakugou, they have personalities made to fit together. You don’t need to chip anything away for them to like each other, they see worth in each other, they understand each other. When they first became friends Bakugou wasn’t any less shouty and angry and Kirishima wasn’t any less righteous and earnest than how they were back in middle school, all in all!

Well, what you were talking about was a one-time meeting anyway, right? Considering Bakugou’s always been cocky and shouty but has never engaged in uncalled-for fights, and how all his bully-like behaviours have always been restricted only to interacting with Deku, I doubt he would have actually fought Kirishima. At best he could have told him to mind his own business before angrily stomping away, tbh. A meeting like that would have hardly left an impression on either of them, let’s be real haha

Anon said:i love ur art SO. MUCH. every time ur on my dash its a blessing ty for what u do

GOSH thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:Came here to compliment you ab your art but I'm just speechless..? Y'know that one scene in HQ!! Where Kiyoko is like "good luck" and the third years + Tanaka and Noya just start crying? That's me with ur art Fran.

Oh my god hahaha thank you???????? this is actually so sweet I’m smiling a lot aaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hi! I like your work, I'm just confused why you left out noses in some of your drawings :0 not meaning to offend, I just was wondering why

Maybe I’m just a huge fan of Krillin, what do you know :O lmao nah, you might say it’s a laziness-driven stylistic choice to make my drawings faster to finish - there’s no deeper meaning behind it aside from “eehhhhh I can’t find a way to draw noses I like and find comfortable so I guess I’m just gonna stop drawing them when I can avoid it” haha

Anon said:have u read the kiribaku fic on ao3 called 'stamina' by razorwings? its pretty new so maybe not. its really good if u want 2 read it!!!

Ahhh boy, I’m.... so not good with first person fics........... orz

Anon said:I love when you draw them smiling in the kisses. It's so happy. Really the best.

OH BOY I’m sure happy you enjoy that cause honestly that’s my fav way of drawing kisses anyway!!! So it makes both of us happy, which is the best outcome a drawing can have, for me!!!!

Anon said:Evey time you post I get really happy and excited!!💓💓

;O; I’m so happy to hear that!!!! thank you!!!!

Anon said:I too have not been to tge beach

#sob we can be sad about our missed beach times together anon ;~;

Anon said:hey i wanted to say i convinced my friend to read bnha by showing her the drawing u did of tamaki smushing his face, she loves ur art and so do i

THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH!!!!!! And I’m super happy she decided to give the manga a go!!! I’m also even happier her reason was Tamaki to be honest, the awkward son deserves as many fans as he can get!!!

Anon said:If you could have a character from dgm and a character from bnha meet, which ones would you pick, why, and what would they talk about, do you think? Or, at least, what would you want them to talk about?

ALMA AND KIRISHIMA!!!!!! I don’t even really care about what they’d talk about, I’m just thinking about them being pure and bright and soft hearted little shits together and it’s making me so happy it’d be like staring at two suns I can’t believe how good of a visual that is I’m crying

Incredibly interesting would be Kanda and Bakugou too, they would fight a lot and it would be amazingly entertaining - Lavi would get on Bakugou’s nerves SO MUCH too oh boy but maybe Sero would be the one I’d want Lavi to interact with the most?? Either him or Denki, they’re similar enough as far as whining and being pessimistic and wanting to sleep and being huge assholes in disguise go haha interestingly enough I feel like Allen might be the one out of the main group Bakugou would end up having a good relationship with, he’s strongwilled and powerful and a hero in all the right ways, after all - they might bicker cause who doesn’t Allen even bicker with, but after all they’re get along ... Bakugou would probably hate Neah with a passion, tho

Link and Iida would be amusing and entertaining too, wouldn’t they? lmao and I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to see Dabi and Tyki interact either, what a good - ahhhhhhhh but yeah after all if I gotta pick one it’s Alma and Kirishima. Possibly bringing Alma in the bnha universe. Let my son live, please ;-;

Anon said:Thank you for blessing us with smiling Bakugo.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for liking him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I'll be honest I'm not a fan of kiribaku. BUT whenever you draw kiribaku, I always get so giddy and happy and can't stop smiling. So please keep drawing for a long time, it really and truly makes my day whenever I see you posted new art

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t get why you wouldn’t like the good ship, but I’m glad you enjoy my stuff either way!! Thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I hope it's alright to ask you this: I opened a Redbubble account like 2 days ago, and on my page, under my bio, I can only see thumbnails of my designs... how can I get it to show products and prices instead, just like on your page? Thanks in advance!!

You might not be in your actual shop page! See under your bio if there’s a “Shop” button and click on it, it should being you to the part of the shop your costumers are actually gonna see :D

#fran answers #answering them asks to keep myself busy waiting for the chapter #haha #i can't do anything while i wait thats such a huge problem #even tho the bc chapter was so great #and the hq one so much fun #im still like okay but where bnha at #my biases #they're way too obvious #hahaha #anyway about that first one #im sorry if you wanted angst and tension anon!!!! im just #the sort of kiribaku shipper that sees these two as made for each other always #oh well #we all know angst is rarely my thing anyway lol #anonymous

145 notes · View notes

thasries-blog · 7 years

Note

Tbh I used to have hope Kagami would make mikayuu canon when I first entered the fandom but after about a year, I realized there was no way it'd happen and we'd only get an open ending. Now? I'm convinced he's going to make Yuu and Shinoa canon and in the worst way possible by fucking up Shinoa's character with the sex for power thing and making Yuu have feelings for her out of nowhere. I wish I didn't care so much, but it makes me feel really nauseous when I think about it...

(same person) I know not being canon isn’t the end of the world, but it still hurts. Sorry for dumping this on you, you don’t have to answer. Hope you have a good day and I really like your posts

I didn’t expect my response to get this long but

That used to be me too lol what cute and naive kiddies we were once upon a time, right? Anyways, I’m speaking under the guise you had hopes for LGBT+ representation rather than shallow “I want my OTP to be canon for bragging rights and feels!!11!” reasons, in which case you’re right.

If Mika and Yuu don’t enter a romantic relationship by the end of the series, it isn’t the end of the world. The sun will still rise and set because this two cent manga isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things even if fandom life and discourse can make it feel like the center of your universe. It’s okay to feel upset. You have every right to feel upset.

Believing you found gay representation on the level Mika and Yuu are at and then having it snatched away for a “lol jk they’re straight. Wasn’t it OBVIOUS? Shinoa and Akane had crushes on them. It should have been clear from the start, you silly fujos :)” fucking hurts. Constantly having people like you in media hinted at all for a cashgrab fucking hurts. Dealing with homophobes in fandom and being treated like you’re delusional for thinking people like you could exist in such an amazing form in a series you enjoy and in the end finding out they were right and you were wrong fucking hurts.

It’s okay to hurt. No one should have to deal with this with a smile.

It’s shitty for me to say this, but unfortunately, it’s an uphill battle for us. This manga isn’t the first and won’t be the last to queerbait with pairs that have as amazing chemistry and history as Mika and Yuu. Things are improving slowly, so the best thing we can do is endure it and give support to the series that do pull through to help speed the process by raising visibility and letting creators know that we’re here to toss our money at shit that doesn’t dangle the bait between our eyes.

And I know I’m a pessimistic ass bitch and I’m fully ready to sell the author of this series to Satan for a bag of flaming hot cheetos, but the series isn’t over yet.

We may be proven wrong. I mean, how many of us didn’t see Yuu willing to betray the world for like 10 people (half of them that he barely even knows) coming? Lmao. I won’t hold my breath, but it won’t hurt to acknowledge a slight chance as long as we look at things realistically.

You’ll be okay, nonnie. I hope you have a good day too.

#Anon #Answer #Owari negativity

47 notes · View notes

goingtosee-theworld · 7 years

Photo

CHARACTER SHEET: JANE CATHY PORTER

“I wanna see the whole world / I dunno how I’m gonna pay rent / I wanna see the whole world ... / I should tell them I’m not afraid to die” -- My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars, Mitski

STATS:

Birthday: 13 December 1992 (Sagittarius)

Myers-Briggs: INFP

Hogwarts House (Primary): Ravenclaw

Hogwarts House (Secondary): Gryffindor

Enneagram: Type 7

Height: 5’3

BACKGROUND OVERVIEW:

Mother: Dr. Eleanor Lily Day Porter (deceased)

Father: Dr. Archimedes Quentin Porter

Mother’s Occupation: Professor in anthropology—concentrated in biological anthropology, specifically primatology—also photographer

Father’s Occupation: Professor of zoology—specifically in large African mammals and conservation efforts

Family Finances: Upper middle class; her daddy’s family has quite a bit of money which they allocate to further the education of their family

Birth Order: only child

Other Close Family: Cousins—Ruby and Bobby, Aunt Rose, Uncle Richard, Grandmum (mum’s side), Gran (dad’s side), Grandfather (dad’s side)

Best Friend: does Jane have a best friend, tbh I guess Simba is the closest thing not that he considers her his best friend lol—although ok actually, she probably does consider Milo her best friend and partner.

Other Friends: wow does Jane not have friends lmao jk—Brad, some work colleagues, Ellie, Amelia, Mel…?

Enemies: none, really. She thinks Belle hates her bc they haven’t really talked since HP, where Belle probably did hate her.

Pets: Will-o-Wisp named Daisy, step-mum of Fluffy (Fluffy is not too fond of her)

Home Life During Childhood: Mostly happy, her parents encouraged learning and exploration. It was just tinged with the fact that her mum was sick and when her mum died, Jane fell into a bit of a depression that she never did quite recover from.

Town or City Name(s): London, England—specifically Bloomsbury

What Did Her Bedroom Look Like: yellow walls, had a day bed with black iron wrought frame and a canopy decorate with fairy lights, one wall was all postcards/National Geographic cut outs/travel magazine pictures, another wall had a big map with little pins in it, lots of stuff from her mum and dad’s travels, a shaggy purple rug

Any Sports or Clubs: Theatre in secondary, art as well, also did like school band for a bit (played flute)

Favorite Toy or Game: she had a ton of stuffed animals, but like those realistic looking ones from WWF or whatever

Schooling: went to some good public schools for primary and secondary, University College of London for her undergrad, BS in zoology, now she’s getting her masters’ in Magizoology

Favorite Subject: Biology/science, but also fond of art/history/literature. She wasn’t the best in physics or math.

Popular or Loner: Loner, she always was like adopted by friend groups but was never really close with all of them one-on-one, just like one or two people

Important Experiences or Events: Mom died when she was 16

Health Problems: Huntington’s Chorea, depression (side effect of dying lmao)

Culture: English

Religion and beliefs: Mum’s family is Anglican, but dad’s family was never religious so she’s not religious really, just does Christmas and Easter

PERSONALITY:

Bad Habits: peels her skin on her thumb when she’s nervous, can be a bit of a nervous talker, on the naturally flirty side, avoids problems and tries not to acknowledge them, but also wallows in her feelings when she’s feeling particularly down

Good Habits: kind-hearted, very good artist, humble for the most part, when she loves you, she loves you fully and deeply, daring, passionate

Best Characteristic: brave—she will look a tiger in the eye and walk towards it

Worst Characteristic: impulsive—she makes rash decisions sometimes

Worst Memory: her mother’s death, but also the day she told Tom she loved him and then he said he was dating someone else, and also the day she rejected Milo

Best Memory: tbh that moment like RIGHT before they woke up the mummy in Egypt, when they were all really happy and passionate and just acted on a whim

Proud of: she has one painting from school that some member of Parliament brought, she got A’s on all but one of her A-levels

Embarrassed by: sometimes she can kinda remember some of the people she slept with and she’s like welp that was embarrassing

Driving Style: she does not have her license

Strong Points: brave, passionate, daring, intelligent

Temperament: melancholic

Attitude: may seem a little far-off or not really there, but get her talking about something and she’s very grounded and passionate

Weakness: threaten Milo or her dad or her close friends and she will crack

Fears: not living a full life

Phobias: uh idk man how is this different

Secrets: only a few people know about her Huntington’s, also lol she doesn’t know that Milo doesn’t know she remembered who they were in the time jump

Regrets: probably turning Milo down the first time

Feels Vulnerable When: confronting her inner problems directly

Pet Peeves: CULTURAL APPROPIATION, people who are mean to animals :C

Conflicts: the constant fear of death around the corner

Motivation: a desire to live fully

Short Term Goals and Hopes: get her master’s, get a good and fulfilling job!

Long Term Goals and Hopes: live a life she is proud to lead

Sexuality: like 89% straight

Exercise Routine: she walks everywhere and rides her bike a lot and rock climbs/cave excavates, she doesn’t like set out to exercise, her lifestyle is just pretty active when she’s not in a bad depression spell

Day or Night Person — Night.

Introvert or Extrovert — Introvert.

Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist, believe it or not.

LIKES AND STYLES:

Music: twangy indie, usually favors female singers; big Carpenters fan too; also the Smiths; also Fleetwood Mac

Books: likes classics, generally, but also weird off-beat novels she finds in sales sections and used bookstores

Magazines: National Geographic, primarily; probably some art and lit magazines too

Foods: she likes a good curry; makes a great orange-glazed salmon; she’s one of those people who liked avocado before it was cool. She’s a pesceterian at home, but she will eat meat when she’s traveling.

Drinks: Earl Grey tea! Lightly sweetened, honey not sugar, and a pinch of milk. As for alcohol—rum. Spiced rum specifically. She likes mojitos, that’s her cocktail of choice.

Animals: oh gosh where to even begin! She’s fond of large Arican mammals (her dad’s speciality), but she really cares for all creatures and believes that it should be her duty to help them all. She knows she kinda gave domestic farm animals (cough, sheep) some shit for being “boring” because she didn’t really wanna be working with sheep for the rest of her life, but she’s had a new outlook on life and her passion for animals has been found again.

Sports: she probably watches football (soccer) casually; likes watching cricket though

Social Issues: big environmental activist, since dating Milo has been more aware of Magick-rights and that stuff

Favorite Saying: she knows its cliché at this point, but she liked it before it was cool: “Not all who wander are lost.”

Color: she likes purples and yellows and also reds

Clothing: she has a more boho look, wears a lot of flowing skirts and loose tops. Doesn’t really like to wear pants on the day to day, but will when she’s out adventuring. She likes wearing sunhats a lot.

Jewelry: she has a lot of traditionally made jewelry that she bought from local vendors in the places she’s traveled, lots of beaded necklaces and bracelets

Games: was a big Zoo Tycoon fan in her youth, doesn’t really play much now, except for like the occasional game with friends; likes board games though

Websites: casual insta user, has a tumblr that she scrolls through but rarely posts on

TV Shows: huge huge huge Doctor Who fan (Tennant was her doctor and also her first celebrity crush)

Movies: she likes classics—her favorite is Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Her mum was a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn so Jane has seen a lot of Hepburn movies. She’s also fond of The Mummy movies (though lately a bit less lol) and Indiana Jones and that sort of genre of adventure stories

Greatest Want: to travel as much as she can, to see all of the world, to experience it all

Greatest Need: to be happy

CURRENTLY:

Home: you know she and Milo haven’t officially moved in together yet but, like, they basically are over at each other’s places all the time—anyway, she has a single bedroom in one of the places by the uni

Household furnishings: she’s messy, but not in like a gross hoarder way, but she has a lot of casual clutter, her place looks like an antique store. There’s lots of trinkets around, the coffee table is covered in candles. She has a lot of pillows on the couch, lots of throw blankets. Her bedroom is pretty much the same way. There’s a lot of books, everything has its place but in its place it may be a bit of a mess lol. In her living room is a telescope by the window and an easel. There’s also a record player on a side table.

Favorite Possession: her record player (passed down from her mum) and her telescope (a gift from her dad)

Most Cherished Possession: her journal—it’s like a sketchbook/diary/memento book, she writes down everything

Married Before: Nope.

Significant Other Before: Tom Crawford

Children: n/a--though she was pregnant, briefly, last August

Relationship with Family: very close with her father, pretty close with her extended family too as they are a small bunch

Car: n/a

Career: on track to becoming a magizoologist

Dream Career: tbh being part of the Rescue Aid Society would be perfect for her

Dream Life: traveling around the world as part of her job—be it helping Magicks, helping magical creatures, rescuing lost relics, searching for Atlantis, with Milo at her side

Love Life: very in love with Dr. Milo James Thatch

Hobbies : drawing, riding her bike, spelunking, exploring, reading, going to antiques shops and flea markets

Guilty Pleasure: those Harlequin romance books (shh don’t tell anyone)

Sports or Clubs: n/a

Talents or Skills : good artist (not super professionally trained, but very solid)

Intelligence Level : very intelligent—curious and passionate when it is a subject she is interested in, quick learner

Finances: solidly middle class, her father helped her out with rent till she was back on a steady job, but she makes enough to provide for herself—she spent most of her savings after uni on her travels

#backstory #about #character sheet #im always pleased with how #on point my fc choice was #look at that

4 notes · View notes