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#anyways if the lyrics are wrong don't tell me this is how they are. to me.
prelawboy · 1 year
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mythological beauty (longer + subtitles)
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liddlediddy · 2 years
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I think jack antanoff should be prohibited from masking music until he learns how to make songs that don't all sound the same
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It's Bothering me so much that Taylor Swift is so fake smart-girl coded, I need to say this:
I have a degree in both Philosophy and English Literature....
She used the term Soliloquy wrong in her song by using it to refer to people espousing nonsense while complaining in an echo-chamber about her.
Instead, a soliloquy is the most honest and introspective a character will ever be. Often the character will stand to the front center of the stage and, as if in a dream, speak openly to themselves (and in respect to the audience) lay out the truth, or the agony of whichever conflict haunts the plot. So, anyway she's just plain wrong in her usage of the term.
I am not giving a sanctimonious soliloquy. Miss Taylor Swift, you are wrong, and I am speaking honestly.
She finishes the lyric "sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see" and I just want to mention that a soliloquy requires an audience... so she does not know what she is talking about by saying that there is no audience for a soliloquy.
Also, for the record, I don't think Taylor Swift knows anything of substance about Aristotle. I, on the other hand, took a three-hour long oral exam over Aristotle's life work while out-of-my-mind-high on Dayquil and pain meds after a surgery. I got an "A", and, somehow, I lived through that, I doubt the validity of Swift's claims to know anything at all about philosophy. Especially, considering how all her songs are about as deep as a puddle.
She's completely lost her credibility.
The woman did not even finish High School in a traditional, well-rounded way. I think she read a handful of Joe's books and now thinks real highly of herself.
Edit: I don't mean to make fun of her for being dumb. I'm frustrated that she's "stepping on my lawn" and making her legion of fans think that she totally knows what she's talking about when it comes to literary references in her work or philosophy. It's obvious that she does not actually understand the concepts she attempts to engage with.
Her only real literary skill is name dropping actually talented writers or philosophers in her songs.
Edit 2: Since some people want to come on this post and tell me that I am being needlessly pedantic about her use of words. Go away. A soliloquy is an ancient literary form, one which transcends cultures and centuries, and I, as a scholar of English Literature, am in the position to say that Swift is speaking about the form incorrectly. She obviously did not even google the form, it's clear she has very little real acquaintance with half the literature concept or authors she names drops.
Sure, soliloquies can be unreliable (Hamlet's "To Be, or not to be" is the most obvious example). However, the fact of the matter is that soliloquy hinges on the Honesty of the character. Swift writing that it's actually the opposite of honesty proves to me that she has no real idea about the literary form.
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feyascorner · 5 months
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6 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. You remember how the sunlight glistened against his skin the morning after your first night together. The longing in his eyes for the very same thing now makes your stomach churn.
It might have suit him even more than the moonlight.
With an irritable sigh, you take your blade and press the sharp end against the tip of your finger.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping you alive,” you reply, pushing your fingertip now with a bead of blood trickling down its side, toward his face. “Drink.”
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, reader is a bard
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. 6.4k words,,,tav is better than me i would've thrown hands like twelve years ago,,,I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I WROTE THIS IN LIKE TWO DAYS???? also thank you for all your comments they really motivate me to write!! so have this monster of a chapter early as thanks!!
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"You'll kill them, Astarion," you mumble. "They might not have had the power to help you, but they're still your siblings. I don't want them to die hating you."
"They're not my siblings--not really. I don't care what they think of me. Hells, they could haunt me even in the afterlife, as annoying as that would be, but they're no innocents either. They've brought in as many souls as I have," he responds, his jaw visibly clenching at the thought. "I don't care if all seven thousand of them die hating me as long as you're here."
And while you feel flattered, you can't disregard the worry driving a hole through your conscience. Ever perceptive, he lifts a hand to brush stray strands of hair out of your face, his fingertips tracing your jaw. His voice is but a hushed whisper.
"You understand, don't you, my love? It would set me free--after two hundred years of forcing myself through hell--I can finally free myself from Cazador," his tone sours at just the mention of his master's name, and he intertwines his fingers with yours, drawing your attention back to him.
"It is what you want for me, no? For me to be happy?"
It is what you want. Just not like this.
Music was your way of releasing the mountain of feelings you kept locked away in your chest, waiting for the right person to recognize them for what they are. You’d hoped someone would understand the meaning behind your lyrics without you telling them outright, and they’d know what it truly meant to you. And for a while, you’d believed Astarion would be the key to this safe.
You couldn’t have been more wrong.
“While I usually entertain your certainly out-of-the-box plans, this is bordering on just foolish, I’m afraid,” Gale sighs, eyes tracing you as you pace around the house, stuffing every possible weapon and healing potion into a brown sack. Despite his insistence, you ignore him, testing the blade of a knife against the edge of the table. It’s not entirely dull, nor is it sharper than the dagger in your drawer, but it’ll have to do. “Simply charging into the tavern won’t do much good if you’ll be overwhelmed in number anyway.”
“I know what I’m doing, Gale,” you hiss, snatching an Alchemist’s Fire and shoving it a tad too hard into your bag. He tenses. “If they want to talk to me so badly, then I’m not waiting around for them to attack another one of my friends—I’ll go to them.”
“Yes, your determination is certainly praise-worthy, but can we please just sit down and think this through before running into a battlefield with a few knives? This is basically a suicide mission.”
“The wizard is right, even if it’s hard to believe,” Lae’zel announces from the corner of the room, wiping a cloth on her sword. “When I arrived, they’d already fled. They could be anywhere by now, and they’ve had more than enough time to plan another ambush if we were to charge now. We must be smart about this. I am a warrior, but I am no fool.”
“I’ll go by myself,” you say, a sense of finality in your voice. “They already showed what they’d do if someone they didn’t want to talk to approached them. I’ll just talk to them.”
Gale stares with lidded eyes. “So why are you packing so many explosives, exactly?”
“...Precaution?”
Silence befalls the room, and you take it as a sign to finish your preparations. All you can hear is the crackling of the fireplace and the rain falling against the windows of the home. The lot of you had somehow managed to stabilize Shadowheart by the time Lae’zel returned, and while she’d been conscious earlier, you insisted she rest before she consumed herself with the investigation again. You didn’t miss the way she limped back to her room with little to protest against you.
“Take the spawn with you.”
Two jaws drop at the words, the only one remaining fixed belonging to Lae’zel.
“The kainyank is living here to help. Not cause more problems for us. And so far, he’s only done one of the two things, and I’m dangerously close to turning to my blade if he doesn’t choose otherwise,” she says. “The spawn are searching for him, too. If blood breaks out, you must use him to flee safely.”
Gale blinks. “As in…use him as a body shield?”
“What else is he good for?”
While the wizard seems positively appalled, you can see the contemplation flicker in his eyes before he shakes his head. He's always been more considerate than the rest of you. “No, Tav would never agree to such a-”
“Okay.”
They both whip their heads toward you, and you avoid their piercing gazes, staring down at the dull blade in your hand. “It might help, too, if we find out why they want him. There are nearly 3000 spawns in the city—we can’t kill all of them, at least not immediately. It’d be best if we convinced them to leave, and the best way of doing that is to understand what they want in the first place.”
Lae’zel narrows her eyes. “Then you must swear it. Swear that if Astarion were to face risks, you will leave him behind. If he were to turn on you, you slice through his throat without a second of hesitation. He is there to aid you–nothing else.”
“I will,” the words feel hot on your tongue.
And so, you soon find yourself standing in front of his door, hand reaching for the door handle. There’s a slight pause right as you touch the cool metal, but you bite your tongue and shove it open, praying he’s still not as ravenous as he was a few hours ago. And much to your surprise, he appears wholly composed.
He lowers his book to his lap, eyes training themselves on you as they dart from your bag and then back to your face. The window’s wide open, bathing him in the moonlight, with dark curtains tied to the wall to keep them from obscuring his view of the city. He raises a brow. “What could you possibly want from me at two in the morning? Come here for a cuddle?”
You’re scowling again.
“I need you-”
“I’m flattered, but I fear you may stab a butter knife into my eye, so I’ll have to decline.”
“Not like that.” Your frown creases deeper at his smug grin. “We’re going to the Blushing Mermaid to find the spawn.”
“Just us?”
“They want to see us.”
“And if I refuse?”
The answer is almost immediate, cutting through the atmosphere like a knife on bread. “I hear the bloody bedrolls in the Duke’s dungeon are very comfortable.”
He drops his smile at this, and a tiny spark of pride puffs your chest. He seems to weigh his choices before snapping his book shut and standing from the bed, snatching a comb from his bedside table before pacing up to you, pocketing it behind him.
"A comb?"
He shrugs as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, I doubt you’ll be giving me a weapon of any sort, so I must make do.”
You don’t correct him.
As the two of you make your way downstairs, you hear your other companions speaking.
“I didn’t expect you of all people to defend Astarion,” Gale says in disbelief, still comprehensive as Lae’zel poorly cuts up slices of an apple.
“I am doing no such thing, istik,” she mutters. “I am giving him a choice. Either to pick up his dead weight and prove his life is worth more than the dirt on my shoes or die at my hand.”
The walk to the Blushing Mermaid is painfully awkward. To you, anyway, because he seems positively unbothered the entire time. Seeing him leisurely follow behind you is irritating—and it bothers you more than you’d like to admit.
By the time you survey the area around the tavern, you’ve discerned they must be inside, considering there are no ambushes awaiting your arrival. While it’s a relief, it also increases the anxiety of what lies inside the tavern itself, and you confirm your knives are at your disposal if it were ever to come to that. You sincerely hope it doesn’t. Astarion sighs dramatically for the umpteenth time as you approach the front doors, and you finally snap to look at him with a glare.
“Will you stop breathing so damn loud?”
The change in your attitude toward him is apparent, but he doesn't seem to care. If anything, he seems more pleased with you than he was before every time you shoot him an annoyed glance or something along those lines. He responds with lazy answers, but it's better than the bitter ones he gave you before.
You're not terribly surprised, though. He's always loved pissing people off for his own entertainment, and it would be an understatement to say that he's been somewhat successful with you.
“I’m not breathing, my dear. I don’t need to, remember?”
“Then what is your problem?” you hiss between your teeth. “Are you trying to wake up the entire city with your insistent groaning?”
“Must we do this tonight, of all days? Couldn’t this wait till tomorrow?”
“No!” you say in exasperation. “That gives them too much time to heal and recover from Shadowheart and Gale. It has to be tonight, just in case they do decide to fight—then we’ll have an easier time because, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s just us two!”
He sighs again, and you swear you might pluck a strand of his hair for good measure. And just as you shove past him and reach for the door, he clears his throat again. Loudly.
“For God’s sake, what?” you nearly yell.
He smiles at you, pointing at the front door. “Well, if we’re looking to avoid an ambush, perhaps we should find another way in than the main entrance. Unless my prior knowledge as a rogue proceeds me.”
You blink. You recognize the validity of his statement and feel your face flare, and you immediately march past him again—the other way this time—and search for the nearest wall you can climb up to the roof. You hear him snicker, but you do your best to ignore it. 
Somehow, you manage to climb in through the window, admittedly a lot louder than him, but you don’t think it’s fair to compare yourself to him when he has footsteps lighter than a child’s. Hidden behind one of the tables, you peer into the rest of the tavern, which is completely empty save for the bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere. You turn to signal to him that the coast is clear, but he’s nowhere to be seen.
Immediately, your face drains of color.
“Right here, darling.”
He drops down from seemingly thin air, and you gasp, nearly letting out a shriek if it weren’t for your hand covering your mouth. He grins at that.
Bastard.
“There’s nobody in the entire building–at least, not visible to the eye,” he confirms, glancing around the room.
“How do you know that?”
He points at the ceiling, and your eyes follow it. “Someone decided to build such useful beams on the roof. You can see the entire place from up there. Care to take a look?”
While you would have thanked him if he had been any other person, you only march straight by him. “Don’t do anything without telling me first.”
“No ‘thanks, Astarion’?” He quirks a brow but huffs when you ignore him. “Very well then, my liege. No need to acknowledge a humble servant such as I. But I shall let you know when I’m about to take any questionable decision.”
You’re starting to wonder if his presence is worth the headache it gives you.
Pacing around the tavern, it seems all too normal. No blood splatters against the wall, no broken chairs—hells, even the booze cups look clean, which is a rarity for the Blushing Mermaid. You check each room, inspecting down to the last cups in case there are traces of blood in them, but to no avail.
It’s like there was never anyone here.
“You look like you’re having trouble, my dear,” Astarion clicks his tongue mockingly, leaning back in one of the more luxurious chairs he’s decided is his own.
“Considering the only company I decided to bring along is lounging around like a bum, I’m not surprised,” you say back, now searching the smallest cracks in the walls for some sort of secret passage. It’s strange. Even though your companions had spoken of the bodies they encountered when facing the spawn, there’s not a single speck of blood in sight. Neither is there anything outside but the whistle of the wind.
“This particular wall must be quite fascinating.”
You fight the need to groan and whip around to snap at him, but he’s suddenly just a foot away from you, staring at the spot you’d been squinting at. Gods, you hate how quiet he is when he walks.
“As wonderful as it is getting a fresh breath of air,” he feigns disappointment with a half-hearted sigh, turning to walk toward the entrance. “I believe we’ve done what we can. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d love to return to my book–”
The wooden floor underneath him creaks. It sounds hollow.
As if there’s something underneath.
“The basement,” you blink, eyes wide. “The hag’s lair.”
He stares at you as if you’ve taken too many mushrooms. “It was sealed up after we rid of that dreadful woman. Good riddance, too, I mean, I’m not particularly fond of children, but eating them, even I wouldn’t be able–”
You rush toward the very corner of the tavern, sensing that he’s following you regardless of his obvious distaste toward your decision. There, you push against a table perched on top of the basement latch and test its locks.
It’s open.
“Heavens, it reeks here. How didn’t I smell it before?”
“Of what?” You sniff the air. “I don’t smell anything.”
“Blood, my dear. Fairly recent, too, if my judgment hasn’t gotten rusty in the time I’ve spent cooped up in that room,” he pauses. “And I haven’t gotten rusty, to be clear.”
“Right,” you retort, reaching down to pull the latch open. You don’t see him do the same, and you glance at him quizzically.
“Gods no,” he says, when he realizes why you’re staring. “I’m doing no such thing that ruins these nails.”
You sigh. Loudly.
The latch opens relatively easily, but you make an effort not to simply swing it open in fear the occupants inside might be warned of your arrival. You prop the trap door open against a chair and begin your descent down the stairs, remaining as silent as possible.
The first thing you can notice is that he’d been right.
The stench of blood burns in your nose, and you immediately cover it with your sleeve to avoid inhaling anymore. You’ve smelt enough of your companion’s blood today, and you’d rather not continue the streak with the blood of complete strangers. Astarion, however, frowns.
“Such a waste,” he mumbles.
When you turn to where he’s looking, there’s a pile of bodies—poor victims, no doubt—lying over a puddle of their collective blood mixing with one another. It almost feels inhumane to leave them that way, just hours after their death, as if they’re cattle to be used.
Though, in this case, they are cattle.
“Are you sure it’s them?”
“I’m telling you it is!”
“Where’s their lyre, then?”
“How would I know that?”
You locate the source of the whispers instantly, reaching for one of your daggers as your eyes bore into the corners of the lair that are obscured from your view. Astarion steps forward before you can figure out a plan to approach them, arrogance exuding from his very body as he holds nothing but the comb tucked in his back pocket. “We can hear you, you fools. Come out before I lose my patience.”
“What are you doing?” you hiss.
“They’re only a few spawns, my dear. Nothing like Cazador—no need to be so cautious.”
You open your mouth to protest, but a woman emerges from the shadows, her eyes trained on your own as she marvels at your mere presence. You realize she’s not alone as multiple vampires begin to emerge from different corners of the room, all a safe distance away but not enough to ease the nerves jittering in your stomach. She steps toward you. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”
Another spawn steps beside her, and you immediately notice how ravenous he seems, eyes almost glistening with hunger as they bore straight into you. The woman puts a hand on his neck, seemingly soothing him, before he slumps his shoulders again, but the pure violence swirling in his head doesn’t seem to vanish. She then looks to Astarion, and the expression on her face morphs into something more akin to dread. “And you, brother.”
“Dalyria.” Astarion only stares with lidded eyes, visibly unfazed.
You instinctively scan the entire lair, searching for any differences you can spot since the last time you were here. The only glaring thing besides the bodies piled in the corner is the study desk on the other side of the room, scattered with different potions and concoctions. Behind the desk is an entire wall plastered with diagrams—most of which study the anatomy and functionality of what you can only determine to be a vampire judging from the fangs. There are also beds everywhere—though they look like they could collapse any second—and the room almost looks like a hospital.
The atmosphere between the siblings is so uncomfortable you’d think they’ll start attacking one another any second.
“Is Leon here?” you finally cut through, lowering your hand away from your blade. “I need to speak with him—technically, all of you.”
“How curious. We were hoping to speak with you as well,” she says, motioning all the other spawn to stand down. It does little to ease you. “By all means, feel free to go first.”
You take the opportunity, too exhausted, to demonstrate polite etiquette. “The spawn are causing too much trouble in the city, Dalyria. They’re killing too many people, and it’s getting noticed by more than enough people. At this rate, you’ll lose some of your own if the Fist figure out how you guys are hiding throughout the city.”
“...Yes, I’m aware.”
The resignation in her voice makes your throat bob, but you continue anyway. “I’m saying we need to get you guys somewhere more stable. Whether it be the Underdark or elsewhere, we can’t have you staying here.”
“I see,” she says slowly. “I appreciate you trying to talk this out with us, but I’m afraid I cannot grant your request.”
Your shoulders tense, and you can see Astarion shift beside you. “You don’t understand, sister. There’s going to be an outright war at this rate-”
“Baldur’s Gate is our home as well, Astarion. You, of all people, should know this,” she demands. “We have a right to remain here, and if the Fist insists on forcing us out, we have no choice but to retaliate.”
“But you’re killing the city off!” you gawk in disbelief, unable to believe what you’re hearing.
“We’re surviving,” she corrects, the corners of her lips turning downward. “Surely you can’t hate us for that.”
“Then…” you blink at her, positively appalled at her words. “Why the hells did you need to speak with me? What was worth putting my companion through hell?”
“...There is a way—for both parties to benefit.” She looks down at her hands, then back up at you. “I didn’t expect the both of you to come together. Our informants were correct when they claimed to see Astarion in your possession. In all honesty, we technically only needed one of you, but this makes things a lot quicker.”
Confused but desperately wanting an answer, you urge her to continue. Only you can see the way Astarion’s hand slips toward his pocket, where his comb lies.
“We were going to ask you to bring him to us, you see. But it appears you’ve already done the hard part.”
The dreaded intuition in the back of your mind tells you something is wrong. Very, very wrong.
“Me? What do you need me for?” he scowls.
She disregards him and continues speaking to you, leaving a sour taste in your mouth. “If you turn him over to us, you’ll never have to see him again. That is what you want, yes?”
Both you and the pale elf freeze.
“I watched as my brother nearly killed you the day of the ritual,” she continues. “I understand how you feel being betrayed by someone you thought shared your pain. And I believe this is a way to relieve you of that pain—and finally move onto a new stage of your life.”
She acts as if Astarion is the only thing holding you from moving on from the past few months of your life. And if she’d said so a week ago, you would have nothing to defend yourself with. But you’ve cut the few strings left that tie yourself to him. You remind yourself that you no longer care for him, regardless of the slight squeeze in your chest. You’ve already sworn to force yourself to disregard him, and you want to say all these things to her, but nothing comes out. So, instead, you keep your mouth sealed.
Astarion scoffs from beside you.
“For God’s sake, please tell me you’re not actually considering this. Let’s just force the madwoman out and go,” his voice attempts to stay firm, but it’s high-pitched at the end. He’s panicking.
You don’t respond to him, and he stiffens. “...My main concern is the city. If you think you can use my personal matters to convince me to just let you keep killing all these people–”
“That matter will resolve itself in its own time. We’ll return to the Underdark—or wherever it is you wish, and you won’t have to spend your nights hunting us down anymore.”
With a dry throat, you fixate your gaze on her face, desperately trying to discern any hint of a crack in her mask. Instead, you find nothing. “Why would you do that? For one spawn?”
“I’m afraid that’s for me and my siblings to know. But I can promise you that no harm will come to you if you take this deal.”
For what seems like the millionth time this month, you have no idea what to do. Lae’zel’s words flood you like a wave crashing onto shore as you remind yourself that Astarion is here not as your ally but as a shield. If things are as Dalyria says, simply turning over the man standing next to you would end this entire ordeal. You could return to your everyday life of repairing the city, learning to heal and grow from the terrors of the illithid invasion. You could learn to let people in again.
You could learn to play music again in hopes of finding the person you dreamed would understand.
Such an enticing, perfect deal. It’s almost too perfect. But you’ve learned not to trust perfection, especially when handed to you by a vampire spawn.
Astarion, who had been observing your expression this whole time, almost seems to read your mind. Or perhaps he’s just feeling selfish, ready to defend himself. “You’ve created a lot of problems for me, dear sister. I’ve gotten accused of your own murders, thanks to your pets.”
The delirious spawn, who’d looked sluggish after Dalyria’s soothing, now bares his teeth at Astarion. Dalyria attempts to calm him again, but it’s no use. The bloodthirst cannot be satiated unless there’s blood spilled on his very hands.
Astarion doesn’t seem to take a hint—or maybe he does but chooses to simply ignore it. “I’ve always known you were strange, Dalyria, but really? Experimenting with your ‘useless procedures’ on fresh spawns? He looks positively possessed, sister. He might just resort to eating you instead.”
“They are not useless, Astarion,” she snaps. “I am a doctor. I’m only curing what needs to be cured.”
“Then tell me why you haven’t managed to cure yourself of our curse? You may be intelligent in medical aspects, but gods above, you are more foolish than Cazador himself if you really think you can cure vampirism.”
“I had nobody to test my ideas on for two centuries, Astarion! Now that I do, surely I can-”
“You’re starving them, Dalyria,” he snaps, tone drastically different from the banter you shared just minutes ago. “And they’ll give into the thirst sooner or later.”
His words are the final straw.
The spawn who’d been standing beside her launches himself toward you. Before you can even register what’s happening, his fangs are at your throat, your neck tilted so it shoots pain up your side. Just as you feel your skin split at the tips of his canines, Astarion rips him away from you so harshly that the spawn flies helplessly into the wall, which crumbles under his weight. Dust flies into your eyes, and you cough, wiping at them until it clears just enough to see Dalyria staring in horror.
“I told you, Dalyria. You are no doctor, not anymore,” Astarion scoffs, eyes narrowed into slits. “And I’m afraid I can’t let you kill my liege here, as I’d much hate to be trapped in a cell somewhere underground.”
You reach the specks of blood drops forming on your neck, horrified by the close encounter you had with death just seconds ago. The culprit of your injury lies unconscious beside the cracked wall, and you wonder just how hard he had to be thrown to be rendered in such a state. You can see the other spawns’ eyes practically glow at the sight of your blood—fresh, unlike the pile of corpses on the other side of the room.
She turns to you, desperation pouring from the wavering of her voice. “Please, don’t make me do this. Don’t make us enemies. All you need to do is give us Astarion. My brother, for heaven's sake!”
You think better of it. Something that obviously pleases Astarion if the way his face relaxes tells you anything.
“May I?” he glances at you.
Surely, there are ways–more civilized ways–-than drawing your blade, but the ferocious growling from the rest of the spawn tells you otherwise. You need to find out why she needs Astarion so badly, and clearly, she’s not willing to tell you unless it’s through pure force. You despise the idea as much as you despise the predicament you’re in, but you refuse to be attacked and deliver nothing back.  Just as you nod to his question, another spawn lunges, unable to resist the red staining your neck.
But it’s smart this time, choosing to eliminate any threats before turning to the full course. In this case, the only thing between you and the vampires is another vampire.
“Brother!” Dalyria shouts, horrified.
You don't bother calling his name, only barely manage to tackle Astarion out of the way before the spawn’s claw sinks into the very ground he was standing on just seconds ago.
As embarrassing as it is to practically crash on top of him, both of you wince because it’s more painful than anything. You force yourself up with your arms, and it’s then that you see even more spawn crawling from whatever shadows they hid in, and you realize you are terribly and most definitely outnumbered. By a lot. 
“Dalyria, if you’re truly a doctor, do something! Stop them, godsdammit!” you shriek in her direction.
“They’re not—they were doing so well!...” she gasps before she reaches for a tattered journal and desperately files through its pages in a frenzy. “They were nearly docile before. I don’t know why–”
You feel Astarion’s hands slip out of the sack you carry on your back, realizing you hadn’t even noticed him opening it. He’s still lying flat on the ground, and you look down at him, puzzled before he laughs bitterly.
“I’ll be borrowing this for a few minutes, darling.”
You barely dodge another spawn that comes flying at you, rolling off of him and practically slamming into the wall. And before you can crawl away, your knife—in Astarion’s hand—stabs through the spawn’s left eye through the back of their head, specks of their blood splattering against your cheek.
You want to throw up.
“No, don’t harm them! Please, just let us go!” Dalyria pleads, but you’re finished being patient with her. She clearly has no way of calming the spawn, and you’re tired of being thrown around like a ragdoll in the mess that is the lair.
You yank out the Alchemist’s Fire and chuck it at the nearest cluster of spawn—around 2 or 3—and flinch as the vial collides and explodes into flames right before your eyes, blowing your hair out of your face in a gust of smoke and wind. You swear you hear Astarion cackle in utter glee at the destruction, but you choose not to dwell on it, too busy figuring out how else you could get out of here alive.
“You’re ruining the patients!” Dalyria screams, and you almost regret not throwing the vial at her instead.
“Your spawn are the ones attacking us!”
Suddenly, her face goes impossibly pale, and you hear a hiss of pain from a few feet away. Astarion winces as one of the spawn claws at his chest leaves behind a reasonably deep wound following the path of their sharp nails. Your knife is kicked away from him, and you hear Dalyria again just as he reaches for the comb instead. “Brother, be careful!”
You’re not sure if she wants you and Astarion dead or not, but it’s seriously giving you backlash at this point.
He stabs the comb into the spawn’s neck and kicks him away, and you take the opportunity to send the knife he dropped through the air.
By some miracle, it pierces straight through the spawn’s arm. Astarion lets out a breathy laugh from the floor, attention glued to your handiwork. “Ha! And to think that could have been me!”
And while you want to admire your aim yourself, there’s no time. Dalyria’s footsteps rush up the stairs, out of the basement, and you realize you need to follow moments after Astarion, who’s already fleeing up the steps, cursing under his breath. “That demented wench!”
You stand to follow after him, but the remaining spawns are already blocking your way. There are only two more, but you brace yourself for the worst, reaching for whatever remaining weapons you have left in your sack. The smoke and debris feel suffocating in your lungs, but you have no choice but to push through, praying to whatever God you can remember at the moment that this be the last time you have to fight this many vampire spawn. Or any, for that matter.
You wish you had left your fighting days behind you when you defeated the elder brain, but you suppose even that was too much to ask for.
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You arrive just in time to see the sunrise.
Lying against a wall is Astarion, who you find just before the sunlight hits the part of the ground he’s on. He’s clutching his shoulder, which drips with his own blood, and showing no signs of the quick vampire regeneration. You stare down at him, face stoic as you wait for him to say something.
Judging from his condition, you assume Dalyria got away.
“Leaving me to die here would be unwise,” he scoffs. “Though it’d be rather easy to let me burn to death in the sun, I must remind you that I much rather prefer decapitation if it’s all the same to you.” 
“I’ll consider it,” you reply curtly. "Can't promise anything, though."
He leans his head back, amused. The sunlight is just a few feet away now, and you wonder how long it's been since he's been outside to watch the sunrise. “You’ve always had a cruel streak in you. I just had to lure it out, sometimes, but when it did come out—Gods, you should have seen it yourself.”
“You’re delirious,” you remind him, observing just how much blood he’s losing. You remind yourself of your resentment when worry probes a small part of your heart. One that you hope dies soon. “Why aren’t you healing?”
“I haven’t been exactly feeding well, unfortunately. And days old boar’s blood can only sustain me so long, darling,” he lulls his head forehead, sneering to himself. “Now that I think about it, dying by sunlight sounds rather poetic, don’t you think? Perhaps you can make a song about my glorious death.”
He’s definitely unhinged from blood loss.
You sigh, tossing his arm over your shoulder as you deem the sunlight a bit too close now. It’s a slow process with your own body’s soreness, but you manage to drag him to a more shaded area, propping him against the wall there so that you can rummage through your sack for a healing potion. You stop when his hand latches onto your arm.
“What?” you frown.
“It won’t help. I need blood, my dear.”
“There’s none for you here.”
“The bodies in the basement,” he bites back a groan, more blood gushing out of his shoulder. “I can make use of them--give their deaths a sense of purpose."
The displeasure on your face must be apparent because he laughs.
You pause, lowering the sack onto the ground. While you’re illuminated by the sunlight now, he remains in the shadow of the building, only able to see the sun with how it reflects off of your skin. And you find that he’s no longer looking at you but looking past you into the glowing orb you call the sun. You remember how its light glistened against his own skin the morning after your first night together. The longing in his eyes for the very same thing now makes your stomach churn.
It might have suit him even more than the moonlight.
With an irritable sigh, you take your blade and press its tip against the tip of your finger.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping you alive,” you reply, pushing your fingertip now with a bead of blood trickling down its side, toward his face. “Drink.”
His eyes widen, and the temptation is more than evident with how his mouth falls open as if he tastes your blood from a few inches away. But as fast as it had come, he tears his eyes away. “I’m not taking your blood.”
“Stop with your prideful act, Astarion. You’re going to bleed out.”
“I wouldn’t die, exactly. I would just remain unconscious until I can properly heal myself.”
You spare him a long, hard stare. He refuses to look at you, biting the inside of his cheek to ignore the scent of your blood. And it's painfully clear he's failing.
You have no idea why he's so insistent on avoiding your blood, but you refuse to spend your own time pondering it.
“Fine then.”
He watches in utter loss as you lick the blood off of your finger, shrugging. “Bleed out for all I care.”
You turn to stand, but his hand latches on your arm once more. You’re not sure if you’re imagining how warm he feels, but you think you must be. He's always been terribly cold.
“Do you hate me now?” he asks again, this time staring up at you through his lashes. “Have I finally run through your patience?”
The question remains the same as he asked you a week ago, but it feels different now. This time, you know your answer, and it feels so, so relieving. You just wish you could understand his own feelings, but his expression is so superficial you don’t even attempt it.
“Yes,” you reply blankly. “I hate you.”
He takes a moment to process your words. You have to admit it’s satisfying to say it to his face, even if your hatred for him is new. But perhaps because it’s new is why you feel it so strongly, and you silently thank it for how confident you sound saying the words. Even if they taste bitter. You think he might have some quip to respond with, but he only smiles, and as usual, it doesn’t reach his eyes.
You never want to see it again.
Without another word, he pulls you down to him, and you nearly topple over before stabilizing yourself with either of your knees on either side of his legs. He breathes against your neck, and you think he might drink from you until you feel his fingers brush against your nape. Immediately, your body freezes like a deer in headlights, flinching at his touch as your mind involuntarily forces the last memories you have of his hands on your neck.
And ever so perceptive, he notices how you recoil from his touch.
You hate your body for reacting the way it does out of fear. Not the disgust or the anger, but something much more pathetic, and you want to go back on your own actions to stop yourself from appearing so weak to him. You think he might tease you--taunt you, even, but he stops, slowly pulling away and lowering his head from the crook between your shoulder and head.
You’re unable to see his face, but his movements seem more sluggish.
Instead of going for your neck, he lifts your wrist, brushing his lips against it before sinking his teeth into the tender flesh.
Despite the initial sting, it’s a feeling you’ve grown accustomed to over time. With him, it had always felt so intimate. It’s why you can’t help but feel heat bloom across your cheeks before you remind yourself you no longer care for him. Only when you think he’s drinking a bit too long do you try to pull away, but his arm loops around your waist, bringing you even closer as the amount of blood he’s taking increases with how deep his fangs are.
You feel so cold, yet heat burns through your very blood. It makes your head dizzy, and you take it as a sign that he’s had enough.
You only manage to speak a few seconds later, breathless. “Astarion.”
He pulls away, seemingly out of breath himself as he releases his hold on the rest of your body. He runs his tongue over the access, staining the side of his mouth. He uses his finger to make sure the rest is off his face. “I know.”
He rarely feeds so messily, so you discern he wasn’t lying when he said he hadn’t been drinking well. Knowing he wasn’t deceiving you brings little relief, but it’s still a welcome feeling. Rubbing at your wrist and the two puncture wounds now residing there, you stand up and slug your sack over your shoulder. He watches you the entire time, and you hate that you can never seem to read his expressions—only one, and that’s whenever he claims to despise your very existence.
His shoulder has already stopped bleeding.
“Why didn’t you drink from those people at Sharess’ Caress?” you finally say.
“Their blood…” he pauses, trailing off, and suddenly he seems to change his mind. “...I've grown tired of it.”
“Blood is just blood, isn’t it?”
He stares at you for a moment, then laughs.
“I wish it was, darling.”
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ponett · 10 months
Note
Whenever I complain about graphic or dark content in media I watch, I keep hearing people retort with this apparently very popular opinion that people who enjoy comfy, wholesome things are actually more likely to be raging assholes than people who love things like death metal and gore. As someone who seems to enjoy comfy, wholesome things yourself and likely met many others who enjoy similar such things, do you agree with this opinion? If so, why do you think this happens?
So I've been sitting on this ask for like a week, not knowing whether or not I wanted to touch it because it kind of feels like being handed a live grenade
For one, I don't like being pigeonholed as someone who just likes "comfy" or "wholesome" things. Yeah, I enjoy My Little Pony and Animal Crossing. I made a game with cute furry characters and lots of bright colors. I also enjoy things like Berserk and Chainsaw Man and Doom and violent crime dramas and punk rock with vulgar lyrics and porn. Variety is the spice of life
Anyway: I generally don't think it's a good idea to make sweeping statements about peoples' moral or intellectual character based on what genres of story they enjoy, regardless of what direction you're coming at it from. But this is a very leading question that kind of skirts around the root problems
There's frequent (perhaps a bit exaggerated) pushback these days against people who prefer their fiction to be a warm blanket, a form of escapism meant to distract you from the real world. In particular, the dreaded "person who only watches kids' cartoons" is a form of this that gets brought up a lot. I don't think the root problem here is what media people enjoy or don't personally enjoy - taste is subjective, and I don't think it's a moral obligation for everyone to have diverse tastes in TV shows - but I do think some folks should try to get out of their comfort zone a bit more. Sometimes stuff that seems like it won't be for you on a surface level will really end up speaking to you, but you won't know until you give it a shot. Trust me, I've been there many times
It becomes a problem when people demand that media ONLY cater to that "warm blanket" attitude. And I think that's part of the reason why that stereotype you mentioned about fans of ""wholesome""" media being assholes exists. People who view dark or violent content as an inherent flaw because it's not what they like. People who yell at creators when they make bad things happen in their stories, because how dare you do this to my comfort characters? People who say movies should never have sex scenes. People who want "problematic" moral complexity stripped out in favor of black and white moral instruction. People who seem to hate any sort of interpersonal conflict in fiction at all
These attitudes can be the result of many different cultural factors, factors that can't all be traced back to Tumblr or what shows you like, but sometimes it's definitely because of that lack of broader perspective on media. You can tell when someone's opinions on The Right And Wrong Ways To Write Fiction were shaped almost entirely by, like, Steven Universe discourse. (Yes, this is a jab at Lily Orchard.) And when these people are very loud about their opinions, well, it becomes a trend people notice
Like. I don't know you. You sent this anonymously. But when you say you "complain about graphic or dark content in media you watch"... that could mean a few wildly different things! Maybe you're just venting about something that unexpectedly triggered you, and that's totally fine. But the wording could also imply that, like, you take issue with these things being present at all, and that you expect a person who likes "death metal and gore" to be more of a "raging asshole" than someone who likes the "wholesome" things you like. So... well, maybe you're more dismissive or judgmental of things outside your comfort zone than you realize?
Unfortunately, in case it's not already obvious, on the internet this shit quickly becomes a proxy battle over dozens of intersecting cultural issues at once where everyone is kinda just talking past each other. So it gets messy
For example, I have no reason to believe that the people who run the "Wholesome Games" showcases have anything against games that are dark or violent or contain adult themes. (They've outright said they don't. Many times!) But when you see people going "why is Spiritfarer allowed in the showcase? That's a game about DEATH and that's NOT WHOLESOME, why would you make me think about death?" or "Ugh, why does Disco Elysium have to be about a cop? Why can't we apply these systems to a game about a young witch who's trying to find a lost cat in an idyllic village instead?" it... Well, it makes me sympathetic towards the indies who don't feel comfortable with the "Wholesome Games" label and consider it limiting. But it also doesn't make me think that devs catering to a demand for more chill, nonviolent video games are categorically facilitating fascist censorship from the Christian right
It's complicated! The written word is imprecise and the internet is a nightmare
I've kind of gone off on multiple tangents here. Basically: I do think that people can kinda turn fans of "comfy" media or "adults who only watch Bluey" into an overblown boogeyman these days. I think people online generally have a habit of swinging too hard in one direction or another in their stances on certain things, overcompensating based on what group of people online are currently annoying them the most and turning said group into like The Main Problem With Society Today. But I also think that boogeyman only exists because of very real examples of people demanding that everything cater to their narrow comfort zone. Go like what you like, but also, y'know. Don't be that person
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thelovelyruin · 7 months
Text
𝖇𝖚𝖇𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖚𝖒 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍.
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𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : you wanted choso real bad, but did he want you too?
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : (fem perspective of acquainted.) smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, teasing, fingering.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 4.5K
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from bubblegum bitch by marina and the diamonds.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!
18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT
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Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll.
“But Maiiii!”
“Don’t even think about it. You know you’re gonna hurt his feelings.”
“I won’t, I promise! He’s real cute, I could never do that to him.”
“You mean weird? I’ve only seen him talk to Yuuji, and that’s saying something.”
“Well, maybe he just needs a girlfriend! Ya know, a woman’s touch.”
“Babe, the second you try to touch to him, he’s gonna cum on himself.”
“That’s not bad, right? That just means he likes me!”
Mai scoffed and walked towards class, you following behind a puppy. You were a pretty girl, for sure. Always wearin’ sparkly lipgloss, your hair was always in a cute style but always down, had to show off your hoop earrings! You usually wore a little locket necklace, which had a little pic of Choso in it, but that’s really creepy, right? It sat on top of a pink shirt that you made sure your tits always looked great in, just in case he was lookin’. Then your miniskirt gave a sneak peek of your ass and your winter boots you lovedddd to wear with leggings that you were hoping he was getting an eyeful of. It was tough when you were in class with him; you raised your hand to answer a question, hoping he’d perk up at the sight of your new manicure. Sometimes, you’d wear a perfume that smelled like cake; you could tell he liked it; he’d always stutter when he walked past you, conveniently moving your hair so the scent would fly in the air towards him. Then there was your skin, always wearing a nice lotion so your legs looked smooth as you crossed them over one another or stood before the seminar to answer a question on the board. You usually ask someone to pick something up for you and never touched a door either; you pretty much knew it was because every guy wanted to fuck you, so you ran them around like your puppies, and they’d run back to you with a lollipop or something like that, which you made sure to suck real sexy when Choso was around, in case he ever wanted to be the lollipop.
It's not like you wanted him to pay attention or anything.
Don't care if you think I'm dumb; I don't care at all.
“Hey, Choso! What’s up?”
He obviously hadn’t heard you, so you put your hands on his desk in the library and squished your tits together, leaning over a bit to look at him. A little cleavage was always effective, right?
“Hello, earth to Choso, you there?”
“Sorry, could you repeat that?”
You made sure to wear a really short skirt, which was totally cute, but every guy on campus was getting the wrong idea. You’d worn it to see Choso, which worked ‘cause he was looking at the little piece of your thong you’d left out for him to see. You just had to tease him a little.
“I said, “Hey, Choso! What’s up?””
“Oh, sorry. Not much, how about you?”
“Oh, nothin’; saw you were sittin’ alone and wanted to come say hi; that okay?”
That was such a shitty excuse. You really could’ve come up with something better, but it seemed to work anyway! He sat to the side of the seat, sitting his hand in the empty space.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Uh, wanna take a seat?”
“Sure! So, whatcha workin' on?”
“Oh, I’m just studying for the statistics exam.”
“That class is super hard! I feel like I’m not getting any of it.”
Fuck, was he catching on yet? You really couldn’t think of another reason why you two would be alone; you couldn’t even convince your professors to let you work with him on a project.
“I could, um, tutor you if you want.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
You perked up, hand touching his arms, tits bouncing as you shifted towards him in the seat. You were so excited you could barely keep it together, but you had to act totally fine in case he was onto you. Which really, you wanted him on you.
“Yeah, it’s no problem.”
“Perfect, when are you free?
“Uh, I’m free after classes; what about you?”
Fuck, you had a lot to do. When did you get so busy?
“Hmm, well, I have a sorority meeting at six tomorrow, so that probably won’t work, but then, ooo, I have cheer practice on Thursday, ugh, and I can’t forget Nobara’s party on Friday!”
“So, Wednesday?”
“Perfect! We’d just have to do it after my nail appointment at 3.”
He looked at your nails. Was there something wrong with them? Maybe you should’ve pulled this charade afterward.
“I think your nails are nice like that?”
You were blushing now, bringing a hand out before you two.
“Ya think so? I was thinking of changing the color. I’ve changed my mind since last week.”
You got a call from Mai! Damn, you wish she wasn’t still upset with you. Happily, you answered it.
“Hey babe, what's up?”
“Not gonna believe it! Nobara got this big-ass AirBnb for this weekend. It’s totes cute; gonna look at it for our meeting tomorrow. Anyways, I gotta go, going shopping; I’ll send pics!”
You felt super bad; You’d interrupted your and Choso’s conversation to talk about sorority stuff. Hopefully, you didn’t annoy him.
“Sorry about that! She had to tell me about this crazy thing one of our sisters did.”
“Sisters?”
“Yeah, like in our sorority, silly! Anyways, gotta blast, but I enjoyed our chat!”
You pulled a pen out of your purse along with a piece of gum; after unwrapping it and putting it in your mouth, you grabbed Choso’s hand, writing down your phone number. 
“There ya go, put it in fast so it doesn’t wash off. Bye, cutie!”
With that, you walked away. He looked so cute, blushing all hard; hopefully, he texted you. You probably looked pretty dumb, but who cares? You were gonna spend some time with him, so your plans could get rollin’.
Candy bear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored.
“YOU GAVE HIM YOUR NUMBER?”
“Yes, but it’s because he’s tutoring me!”
“So, you and him, alone. “Studying”.”
“Yes, Mai. “Studying”.”
“Bullshit, you’re gonna fuck him!”
“Am not! I have some self-control, ya know.”
When you told Mai about the exchange earlier, she was convinced you were making a bad decision.
“So then, what if he wants to fuck you? What happens to that self-control?”
“It gets thrown out the window, and I let him fuck my brains out, duh.”
Mai looked you up and down, giving you that look. You scoffed and lay on your bed; damn, you would be doing your statistics work if you actually knew what you were doing. A ring came from your phone, practically jumping at it.
“Hey. It’s Choso.”
You jumped around your room, squealing. He had actually texted you! Not that you didn’t think he would, but he was always super standoffish so he might’ve wiped it off. But nonetheless, you texted him back.
“haiiii <3 wednesday still good? :3”
“Yeah, what time?”
“let’s do 5, kay?”
“Sounds good.”
“yay! See you then :p.”
When Wednesday came around, you were super nervous all day. Mai teased you for it, saying there was nothing to worry about; you guys were only “studying.” You had seen him in class, but today, you gave him a wink as you walked by, hoping he’d like it. Fuck, you were such a klutz! Smoothie all over your shirt; not like that was such a bad thing. It meant you could change into something cuter, something that would really catch his attention! It made you super late, though. You felt so bad, showing up 15 minutes late, but you sucked it up and knocked on his door anyway. Choso opened the door for you, but you were still panting. God, get it together!
“I'm so sorry! I spilled my smoothie on my other top, so I had to change, then I ran over as fast as I could! You’re not too mad at me, are you?”
“You’re fine; come in.”
“Ooo, thanks!”
You walked into the room, giving him a smile, then bent over to set your purse and books, hoping he was pervy enough to get a view. You’d stayed down there for a while, giving him enough time to get a good look, then you got up and turned around, and he was blushing! Maybe he’d seen your lacy pink thong. But you weren’t thinking about fucking him, right?
“Somethin’ wrong?”
“Uh, no…let’s get started.”
An hour passed, and you were shocked at your level of resolve. He was helping you this whole time, and all you could think about was the tent in his pants, wanting to take care of it. But you promised Mai you’d chill, so you did.
“All done! I think this is the best I’ve ever done! Thank you so so much!”
You wrapped your arms around him, bringing him in. You pulled back from him, still hugging him, as he looked down into your eyes. You let go and giggled, walking over to get on his bed, sitting back on your hands, legs slightly open as your chest poked out. Mai would probably be mad, but she’d have to understand, right? You just needed him, really bad.
“Hey, Choso?”
“Yeah?”
“I need your help with something.”
“What’s up?”
I'm the girl you'd die for.
As he approached you, you put your final fears to the side. You had full confidence he wanted you, and you were gonna act on it.
You opened your thighs to him, panty-clad pussy on full display.
Awe, he was so red! To be fair, you had just shown off your pussy to him, practically asking him to touch you there, and you were ready for it. You pulled him forward by his shirt, his face up to yours.
“That is, if you wanna.”
He dropped to his knees, positioning himself on the floor between your legs, both draped over his shoulders as he pulled you closer to him. You saw him get a good look at your thong; you knew you were soaked from being next to him for so long. He brought his hands up your legs; the feeling of his fingers made you shake all the way up to your hips, where he flipped your skirt up. He grabbed the edge of your panties, backing up to pull them down your legs. You opened up a little more for him, soaked pussy on full display, letting him spread your lips apart, precum dripping out of you. He was in shock, and it was so sexy. He looked like he was in love with just the sight of your pussy.
Choso brought his lips down to yours, lapping up all of your juices, then fucking his tongue into you. Damn, he felt so good! You started moaning his name and arching your back as you gripped his sheets. He brought his tongue to your clit, circling the bud slowly, and god it had you whimpering.
“Choso….”
You felt so fucking good. He brought his fingers up and slipped them inside you, making you groan loudly. You could tell this was probably his first time eating pussy, but when he curled his fingers, it felt soooo good and you just had to tell him!
“Fuck, right there, don’t stop!”
He pumped his fingers in and out of you as your body jerked, begging to cum. You were so blissed out, happy you were about to cum from his tongue. It came hard, fingers gripping his hair in a way so you could find some sort of stability. And fuck, as you came down, you rutted your pussy against his tongue, mouth still opened and eyes rolled back.He left you panting on his bed, half-naked, back still arched. As you began to come back to earth, you sat up on your hands again, pussy most likely staining the sheets, but it would be okay, right?
“Come here.”
You were serious now. You didn’t wanna be so harsh, but you were literally gonna die if you didn’t feel his dick inside you immediatley. You opened your legs so he could position himself between them, kissing him intensely now. He brought his hand up to your tits, groping them through the fabric of your shirt, pinching your nipple once he found it, you were getting so wet. He ruts his hips against yours, making you groan into his mouth. Fuck, he was so hot, you were gonna lose your-
I'll chew you up, and I'll spit you out.
Your phone fucking rang…and you knew it was Mai. With a pout, you walked over to his desk to grab your phone.You tried to act as normal as possible when you answered the phone, you couldn’t make it too obvious Choso just had a mouth full of pussy!
“Hey, hey!”
“Hey babe, emergency house meeting! Maki didn’t put in the order for the catering for rush next week, so everyone’s coming together to think of a back up. Need ya here, like yesterday!”
You were pouting now, tilting your head to the side as you talked to her.
“But Maiiii, I’m doing something super important!”
“Important, huh? Is that important thing fucking Choso? Either way, bring your ass over here before anyone gets suspicious.”
“Ugh, fine, but you owe me! See you in a bit.”
You hung up the phone and walked over to him, a sad look on your face as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your head into his chest.
“You gotta go?”
“Yeah, but I really don’t want to!”
“It’s fine. You should be ready for the test on Thursday.”
You bent over to pick up your purse and books again; hoping he’d really get a good look at you this time. You hadn’t put your panties back on, instead leaving them next to his bed for him to find later. You put your heels back on, getting on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.
“Bye, cutie!”
“Um, bye.”
It’s like you couldn’t get him out of your head; every time you tried to focus on the meeting, he was there. Before you laid down for bed, he texted you, letting you know you forgot them. Hmmmm, what should you say?
“oopsie :3 consider them a gift ;)”
'Cause that's what young love is all about.
So pull me closer…
“YOU DID WHAT?”
“Maiiii, please don’t be mad!”
“Let me get this straight, you fucked him?”
“No, yes, well, not exactly. I, you know…”
“Awe shit, you sucked his-”
“NO, MAI. Not that I wouldv’e been opposed to it.”
“So, what did you- Holy shit, he ate you out!”
You became flustered, you told her about your sexual encounters all the time, but it had been so long since you got any, plus she already thought Choso was weird.
“Yes, he ate me out.”
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”
“Mai, I’m sorry! Like don’t be mad at me though, it felt really good and technically that was only second base, right? Or third? Either way I didn’t fuck him, yet.”
“Sorry, sorry. It’s not like I don’t support you, but a guy like that? He probably came on himself.”
Now, you’d told Choso you were busy, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to see him again! You guys had seen each other around the halls; Thursday, you gave him a wink every time you saw him, and he’d return it with a blush and grin. But then, you realized he hadn’t texted you. Wouldn’t he wanna see you again? Especially if he enjoyed it as much as you think he did. You were nervous at this point. What if you were over-analyzing things? Just a quick fuck to get each other’s rocks off? Then, unfortunately, the thought came to mind that he probably just thought you were pretty and dumb, which hurt your feelings real bad. I mean, you couldn’t help it; spontaneous oral from the guy liked for months now. But, fuck, you missed him.
And kiss me hard!
The party could be heard down the street; it was pretty lit tbh, a large house with at least eight bedrooms, a pool and basketball court in the back, and balconies on almost every window. As you walked through the house, part of you wanted to find Choso and get a real answer as to why he had ghosted you. That was until a guy from your brother fraternity walked up to you.
You held a cup of punch, but what you were wearing was kinda flashy. You hadn’t bothered to wear a top, just your string bikini covering your tits, which to be fair, wasn’t doing a very good job of covering them up. Then there were your shorts; the underside of your ass on display, but when you and Mai picked them out, you bought ‘em just in case you saw him. You were leaning into the guy, trying to hear him over the speakers. He was kinda creepy. Obviously drunk as he tried to talk to you about some speed dating thing they were about to throw, and apparently you just needed to be there. You knew he was getting an eyeful; he couldn’t even make eye contact with you because he was too busy staring at your chest, which you wouldn’t be opposed to usually, but he wasn’t Choso, and tbh, he was the only one you wanted to look at you like that.
This dude made some shitty joke, you giggling to save face and not embarrass your sisters. That’s when you see Choso walking in your peripheral vision. OMG, he did come! But as happy as you were, he looked kinda pissed, or maybe you were trippin’? You gave him an awkward smile as you turned. That was until Choso grabbed your arm.
“Gonna borrow her right quick.”
What the fuck was he doing? Choso led you up the stairs as you rushed to keep up, spilling your drink a bit. He looked for an empty bedroom, walked you into it, and locked it behind him. What was his deal?
“Choso, what the actual fuck?”
“What are you doing, huh?”
“What am I doing? What am I doing? Motherfucker, what are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you haven’t talked to me in days. Then you pull me in here, like I’m the bad guy or something, fuck, did eating me out mean anything to you?”
“Of course it did! I haven’t texted you because I wanted to give you space!”
“I could’ve made time for you! I don’t wanna hear your shitty excuses as to-”
I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart.
Your sentence was cut short by Choso pulling you into a kiss. Some nerve he had, not talking to you for days, then coming up like he owned you or something. You were fucking mad at him, sure, but you wanted to fuck him more than anything. So, you let him lay you on the bed behind you, mouth coming to kiss you, even deeper this time. He pulled back to undo your top, allowing your tits free, ready to go to town.
“So, who the fuck was that?”
He brought his lips down to your nipple, sucking it as you moaned softly. He was totally killing the vibe.
“A friend, what are you, jealous?”
He sucked the other one, massaging your tits as you watched him. You knew he was, like why else would he be asking? That kinda made you feel good though, he was willing to put up a little fight for ya, huh?
“Depends.”
“On?”
Choso began to move his way down, sucking the skin of your stomach as he brought his hands down to hook into your shorts. He had them down to your ankles, pulling them off of you, you were so fucking excited, as pissed as he was, his mood was real cute.
“I’m your friend too, no?”
“Something like that.”
He undid the strings on your bikini, throwing them somewhere in the room. He brought his face down to you, kissing your inner thighs to tease you.
“You let all your friends eat your pussy?”
I'm Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor lips.
You couldn’t answer his question, body reacting to the kitten licks he was giving your clit. You really liked it when he fucked you with his tongue, and you were practically in love when he pressed his tongue harder on our bud. You missed the feeling of your pre-cum on his lips, but it was cut short when he pulled his face back, teasing you.
“Answer me, princess.”
“No, I don't.”
It’s like something woke up inside of him. His face was back on you, fucking his tongue into you as he pinned your hips down, watching you squirm from the pleasure. The pleasure you never wanted to stop.
Choso picked up the pace of his tongue, his fingers finding their way to your pussy, curling them as he sucked on your clit. One hand still on your hips to keep you still; it’s not like it really mattered though, ‘cause you came real hard. You bucked your hips into his touch, moaning his name as you let him suck you through your high. He pulled up to look at you, smirking as he started drinking your cum, thumb on your clit. You were on fucking fire, still recovering from before, and now he was bringing you up to his face. He pinned you down, devouring you instantly.
He’d brought his hands up to rub your nipples between his fingers while you fucked his face. You didn’t know where all this nerve came from, presumably because he’s made you cum twice now, the third one about to join. But you honestly didn’t give a fuck. If he had the balls to eat you as good as he was doing, you could care less. Because his tongue was just too damn distracting. You began to grind your pussy on his face, not even considering his ability to breathe; it’s not like he was concerned about it. You were moaning his name lover and over, he pulled them out of you more frequently as you felt your body giving in again.
“Choso, I’m, I, fuck!”
Hit me with your sweet love…
Fuck, he was so good. You couldn’t help but fall over as he kissed you, soft and sweet. With a careful hand, he brought your leg up, pulling it away from the other so he could get in between them. Your body was practically begging him, waitin’ so long for his touch. As he began removing his clothes, he continued this little conversation. It was really pissing you off.
“Hm, that doesn’t make sense then, does it?”
“You’re more than a friend, Choso.”
At this point, he’d taken everything but his boxers off, bringing his body back up to sit on top of yours. He kissed you as he fingered your pussy again, making you squirm under his touch, he was making you feel a lot of things you hadn’t really felt before, definitely more than your vibrator had done. He brought your cum out of your pussy, rubbing it over his dick as he looked down at you.
“More than a friend, huh?”
Choso kissed your neck as he slid his dick in, holding your hips as he rolled his into yours. He was painfully slow, pulling out to sink back in. Fuck, it was torture.
“Yes, Choso! Now fuck me, please!”
“No problem.”
He slammed his hips into yours, you couldn’t hlp but groan his name, making him grip you tightly as he fucked you, forehead meeting yours so he could look you in your eyes.
 “When was the last time you got fucked?”
“Months ago.”
“So, you decided you just wanted me to eat your pussy one day?”
He began that slow pace again, what was he a fucking detective? You decided to just tell him the truth, hopefully then he’d shut the fuck up.
“No, I liked you for a while! Thought you didn’t like me ‘til I met you in the library!”
Guess that satisfied him, ‘cause he hit that sweet spot inside you as you moved your hips to meet his, hands brushing through his hair as he gave it to you right where you needed him. You pressed your tits against his chest as he fucked you into the bed, practically screaming his name every time he’d give you a hard thrust.
“I want you, princess.”
To be fair, you hadn’t really entertained any of the guys who wanted you; they’d just ogle you, but you wanted someone who’d claim you. Make you his. And Choso was doing it. He fucked you like no one had ever done before, sucking hickeys all over you that you were sure you didn’t have enough concealer to cover up. Then, there was the way he’d moan into your ear. Sometimes your name, but mostly baby, princess, beautiful. He was taking you higher and higher, and you didn’t wanna come down.
“Then, I’m yours.”
Steal me with a kiss.
That made him feral. He fucked you faster, keeping your hips still so he could fuck you how you needed it. Your body was practically begging to cum again, all but throwing yourself at him. Finally, you came, gripping his shoulders as you moaned his name into the room, eyes rolling back and mouth wide open as you came for the third time that night. You honestly didn’t know you had it in you; he was right behind you, gripping the headboard as he fucked you through his orgasm, whimpering your name as he fell to pieces inside you, your hands just falling to your side, too fucked out to move.
I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch….
Choso fell beside you and looked over; you were pretty damn tired; he made you cum over and over again, like a song on repeat. He’d helped you put your clothes back on, carrying you down the stairs and out to his car, getting you in it and starting it.
“Ima take ya home, okay?”
You perked up a little, grabbing his arm and wrapping around it. No way you were going home! Why’d you wanna go back there when you could sleep with your boyfriend?
“Wanna go home with you!”
“Whatever ya want, princess.”
He gripped your thigh as he drove off, returning to his dorm. He carried you to his room, helping you get into one of his t-shirts, such a good guy, makin’ you feel all safe. Both of you in the bed, he pulled you into his chest as you got comfortable. You look up at him, smiling a bit as you yawn.
“Night, baby!”
You kissed him quickly and laid back down, drifting off to sleep.
Consider this mission complete ;)
I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch!
♱ the song used in this story is bubblegum bitch by marina and the diamonds. 🖤
♱ masterlist.
♱ all fics playlist.
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𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.
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mikobeautifulheart · 3 months
Note
hi!! 💗
i was wondering if you could do a yuji drabble wherein he walks into our dorm and we're just BAWLING and he goes to comfort us thinking it's serious and is like "it's okay.. you're bf is here.." bc he SUCKS as comforting people (LMFAOO) and then after a while when we calm down we tell him (still crying..?) that one of our favorite MALE (heskeske) characters died in an anime and he just gets all dramatic and jealous and then gets gojo-sensei in on the situation 🤭🤭 like a whole AITA 💀
this request is a bit short and not so explanatory, but idc how you write it since it's yuji and i'll read ANYTHING abt yuji. 💋
ASK AND YOU. SHALL. RECIVEEEEE. (Recive it unedited.)
Here we go.
Yuji who sucks at comforting you only to getting jealous over 'guy'
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Yuji knocks on your door, he wanted to drop off some of the books he borrowed from you only to get no response. It was weird because he knew you were in your dorm...
"NOOOOOO" You yelled making Yuji panic
"Y/N ARE YOU OKAY?" He said as he burst open your door only to see you balled up on your bed crying into your pillow while muttering random sentences hysterically.
"He was-HIC- so-HIC-"
"Calm down Y/N are you okay?!" Yuji asked scanning your body for any inguries
"NOO IM NOT" you shouted throwing the pillow in your arms at the T.V infront of you before going back to crying.
"Shhhh calm down what if Nobora hears you?" he said with an awkward look on his face.
You stopped everything and stared at him.
"You monster-" you said before the tears rolled down your cheeks again.
"Do you not care?" you said through tears with your lip quivering.
"Okay, okay, i'm sorry but I can't help you if I don't know wats wrong." he said rubbing circles in your back in an attempt to soothe you.
It was no use because you really started to cry now.
"What's going on? I heard someone crying" Gojo asked sticking his head in the door way of your dorm.
"First he-he, and now Yuji, MY OWN BOYFRIEND DOSEN'T CARE ABOUT ME"
"I DO!" he retaliates
Gojo scans the room laying his eyes on your T.V seeing the end credits of Demon slayer playing. His face went white.
"No- Don't tell me-"
You nodded your head up and down aggressively while sniffing into a tissue
"RENGOKU-SAN" Gojo yelled grabbing the T.V by the screen watching the credits go by.
Yuji finally realized what this was all about.
"Are you kidding me?" He turned to you stiffly.
"Y/N...He's not real, your crying over someone who's not real-"
You and Gojo both froze
"Yuji, clearly you don't understand the gravity of the situation" Gojo starts.
"You see when someone with a pure heart and soul dies, no matter if they are real OR NOT, its a hard loss. Its like if they killed the earth worm man in the first Human worm movie."
Yuji turns his attention back to you
"You didn't even cry this much when I 'died'" Yuji mumbled
"THATS COMPLETLY DIFFERENT!" You said offended that he would even consider bring that up right now.
"YOUR RIGHT, HES NOT REAL AND YOUR CRYING OVER HIS DEATH WHILE I 'DIED' AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN CRY THIS MUCH."
Mean while Gojo laid on your floor muttering the lyrics to the end credit song while crying.
THANKS FOR READING ♡
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AUTHORS NOTE: some of this totally isn't based off a personal experience. Anyways I hope this is close to what you wanted anon. And thanks for your request. reblogs are welcomed btw.
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irishmammonagenda · 2 months
Note
Hello! I hope your requests are open 🧚‍♀️
Can i ask, what brothers' reaction would be on MC who sings something like MSI (you know smth like "son of a bitch! God's like me!") or just alternative rock/punk in general?
Answer only if you're okay with that❤️
Have a great day🏃‍♂️
hihi‼️(i love the amount of emojis u use i can feel ur personality through the screen teehee)
i absoluetley can‼️‼️ also tysm for the new music to listen to (im kind of new to alt rock and punk i only really used to listen to MCR lmao😭)
anyway this was fun to write
grma for the ask <3
Obey Me Brothers React to MC Being a Wee Emo.
DISCLAIMER: emo is used as a word because where im from emo is used to describe nearly any type of alternative fashion bc we're all dumb over here app, also im 2% sure pop punk/poprock is emo music bc i think thats what mcr is, so we're going w/ it ig, the only thing ik abt music is that bars 13-20 in the dambusters themetune has fanfare so if i get any terms wrong lmk 😔✊
WARNINGS: There's a slight slight hint of drinks being spiked in Beel's one. nothing ever happens its just him keeping an eye on your drink at a concert just in case.
LUCIFER
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He hears music blasting in the music room in the House of Lamentation.
At first he just sighs, it sounds like the type of music Belphie would listen to when trying to plan out another Anti-Lucifer League. The teenage angst probably helped fuel the seventh born’s desire and motivation to prank him.
He sneaks into the Music room. Technically he just walked in quietly, but you still jumped when you saw him.
"L-Lucifer!! Hiya!!" You say awkwardly, not looking the first born in they eyes. "What's up?" He blinks slowly at you, fighting the urge to place a gloved hand on the bridge of his nose and pinch it in disappointment (and/or second hand embarrassment) "I'm not going to say anything. Just keep it down, MC." He sighs, normally he'd have lectured you. But it reminded him too much of a wolf-cut, guyliner filled past that for the sake of his pride, he did not want to remember.
He wasn't a stranger to musical genres, the man collects records for fuck's sake.
The drums and guitars he can normally get behind. Especially with catchy rhythms.
The lyrics?....they're normally a hit or miss. It really depends on the song.
'God likes me' (MSI) 'Hail Mary, Forgive Me' (PTV) Religious references just kind of ruin some songs for him.
Lucifer spends his time collecting cursed records, but your music taste is a special kind of cursed MC.
Although, he is strangely supportive in his own way.
"MC, Lord Diavolo has gifted me some tickets to concert [small devildom band] is putting on, I thought you would enjoy it."
(Lucifer bought the tickets himself.)
MAMMON
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Haha, Emo!
"Yer a wee emo so ye are, MC"
It's not exactly his style of music (the man listens to Kneecap ffs)
BUT!!! He wants to share things with you dammit! Let him listen to your stupid emo music with you!!! He's your first man!!!
He does, however learn how to play guitar so he can play some simple chords while you sing horrible improvised lyrics with horrible improvised chords.
You don't have the heart to tell him that acoustic guitars aren't normally used in Punk/Rock music.
The sound of horribly improvised chord progressions ring out in your bedroom as you and your first man stand back to back, horrible matching messy eyeliner on both of yours and Mammon's eyes as you hold a hairbrush to your mouth and improvise lyrics. That is, if you can even get them out of your mouth before laughing. "Blood in my body! Because I'm aliveeee!!!" You sing off key while Mammon strums the guitar. "Love in my Bugatti! Because The Great Mammon can drive!" You laugh. Mammon whistles while missing out on the fingering of a chord and then pretending it didn't happen.
LEVIATHAN
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The first thought in this man's mind is karaoke.
He sends you a playlist of Rocky kinda anime openings that you should totally listen to.
He's the least shocked and weirded out, (not that the others are weirded out)
He really likes your singing voice. It doesn't matter if you're a horrible singer, its you so it makes him happy.
You guys could do a duet? If it wasn't too much for you to sing with a stinky smelly otaku like him :(
"Levi-" You sigh, looking at the Levi shaped lump of seaweed in his aquiriam, the demon's tail twitches through the pile of aquatic plant, showing that he's listening. "Levi... Of course I'd love to do Karaoke with you...You didn't give me a chance to answer before jumping into the tank! C'mon!" It takes Levi a few more minutes before he feels ready to leave his seaweed pile, his face is completely red, but there's a small smile on his face as you set up the karaoke machine.
SATAN
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Satan enjoys your music taste.
He likes most if not all human world music because music is so important to culture and he loves learning about human world culture.
What he doesn't like however, is people dropping his name in lyrics for edginess smh.
No MC, no one in Je T'aime is his bitch. Please stop asking.
He also takes you to gigs! Because why not!
The blond haired demon sat in the bar, earning a few looks from the people surrounding them. He stuck out like a sore thumb in his jumper and jeans and the book in his hands in comparision to black denim and leather, chains and sub-cultural clothes that everyone else was wearing. Satan payed it no mind as you came back with the drinks, all decked out in clothing matching the rest of the people in the venue in style. "Hope you weren't waiting long....the lines were long!" Satan takes a drink from your hand and sips it, giving a soft smile, "Not at all."
ASMODEUS
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The music is a hit and miss tbh, he prefers the more pop punk kind of thing, leaning more into pop than anything else.
He likes paramore though!
Loves the clothes associated with the genres and subcultures of the music! Adopts some of it into his own style!
(He alters it heavily, but some designs are inspired by the subcultures)
He could be your adorable gorgeous boyfriend and you could be the wee emo gremlin partner!
The opposites attract will look so cute on his Devilgram.
But he geniunely supports you and your interests, he designs and makes clothes for you in the style associated with your music taste.
He even makes you merch of your favourite bands and albums inspired into clothes.
He also does your makeup before you go out to concerts or gigs
Your his emo after all.
You squirm as Asmo runs his fingers along your flushed skin, he laughs as you jerk away. "It's just a brush, it wont hurt you darling!" He laughs, putting more black eyeshadow onto the makeup brush and applying it---or atleast trying to---to your eyelids, biting back teasing comments as you jerk away. You were ticklish god dammit! It wasn't like you were meaning to! It was a natural reflex!
BEELZEBUB
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He likes it.
but not because he enjoys the music persay. Don't get him wrong he can listen to it and enjoy it but he wouldn't normally seek it out.
He likes it because you and Belphie like it, and the style reminds him of the both of you.
In terms of rock music he likes the more slow ballady types. Belphie normally listens to them when he has trouble falling asleep.
Very supportive.
If you're ever in the Mosh Pit in a concert, Beel will go with you, you're just so tiny and people can push you about! (You're tiny to him. So yes MC, his point still stands.)
Taking that back, if you're at a concert, Beel's probably with you. Unless you're with another brother, Even then, Beel's probably going to come.
Bro is like your own bodyguard.
Reports to Lucifer when at concerts and makes sure you're not taking any illegal substances, you don't know what's in them MC!
He makes sure nothing is put in your drink either.
He just wants to keep you safe :(
Beel had been staring at the cup in your hands back and forth for a while now, you smile and offer it up to him. "Want a sip, Beelie? You've been staring at my drink a lot" You practically shout over the music. You weren't in the mosh pit, and though you stood a good distance away, the music was still loud. Beel shakes his head, pointing to his pint and smiling his closed eye smile, "No thanks, MC. I'm just making sure you're staying hydrated and don't need refills." He says truthfully, though that truth isn't whole. You grin, "Aww...that's so sweet!" Turning your attention away from him and back to the stage, Beel wraps an arm around your waist. Eyes alert and wary when someone so much as walked past, or a crowd member got a little too close while dancing. He was overprotective and cautious. But you deserved to be safe.
BELPHEGOR
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Give him back his albums what the actual fuck.
Look just because he takes your life it doesn't mean you get to take his music taste.
Wowwww. Petty.
Fine, you can borrow his limited edition special cut vinyls.
What? Lucifer's not the only one with a record collection.
He did not get this idea from Lucifer, No you Liar.
He did.
Belphie listens to rock ballads to get to sleep when he has trouble sleeping and when he wants to.
Sometimes when you nap together he puts some on.
It's kind of like a white noise machine.
Will go to concerts with you and Beel, but has to have slept for atleast 2 whole days leading up to it so people don't think he's passed out in the crowd.
Mention any similarites about his little music vinyl collections to Lucifer's cursed record selections he will not let you borrow any for atleast 3 days.
Long before Eve bit the apple and the brother's wings turnt black, a small boy with indigo hair wakes up from a nap, pouty lips wobbling when he realises his twin is nowhere to be found. Belphie sniffles, but doesn't break into tears. He's a big boy now! Big boys don't cry when they miss their twins! Beel was probably out on a walk with Michael and Lilith in her stroller! He'd come back! But still, Belphie's bottom lip trembled, eyes watering, the little boy didn't like being seperated from his twin! He was about to cry when he heard loud music coming from a room down the hall. More curious than anything, Belphie gets off of his bed, and (taking his teddy bear with him) walks down the hall following the sound. Though his walk was more of a waddle with his tiny legs. He'd never heard anything like it before! When Beel got back he could tell him about his discovery! Soon enough he reaches a slightly cracked open door and the music is super loud here. This must be it! Waddling into the room, Belphie could see a figure laying spread eagle on one of the beds. Half of the room decorated in colour with one bed and the half of the room with the person laying on the bed was almost completely in black with a bunch of posters on the walls. Most importantly, on the floor lay a box with a spinny thing spinning that seemed to be playing the sounds! Belphie held his teddy in one hand and lifted up the thing that was running across the big black circle. Immediately the sound stopped and the figure sat up, with layered dark shoulder length hair, layered dark black white and red clothes, and enough eyeliner to paint the colourful bright half of the room pitch black. A teen Lucifer looks down at Belphie with a sour expression, upset his mope session had been interrupted. "What are you doing here?" He asks the small indigo-haired angel. Belphie looks up at him with wide, sparkling eyes before pointing to the record player. "Why's it makin' sound? There's no choir in there...." Lucifer's eyes soften. His mope session about meeting the demon prince, not hating him, and finding him pretty like the human he met down in the human world could wait. "It's a record player, Belphs." The teenager's too emo, the end is nigh, everything sucks, too cool for love and affection persona drops and reveals his softie interior. Lucifer picks up his younger brother and places him on his bed as he takes out the record that was playing in the record player and putting on one that would be much less intimidating for someone as young as Belphie. He sits back onto the bed and the small boy cuddles up to his big brother, ever the affectionate child. As the record plays on Belphie grins up at Lucifer, revealling one missing front tooth. He had lost them early, shortly after Beel's tooth had fallen out. Lucifer grinned too, suppressing a chuckle at how Beel hadn't even realised his tooth was wobbly until he bit into his breakfast and found his tooth lodged into the food. "Luci! I likes this music!" "Do you?" "Mhm!" Lucifer grins, petting his youngest brother's head. "I'll tell you what. For your birthday I'll get you your very own record player and lend you some vinyls, we can even go to the human world and pick some new ones out. I'll show you how to play them when you have them, okay?" "Okay! Thank you Luci!" After a while, the songs change from high energy into ballads, Belphie's eyes grow heavier, as do his big brother's. Belphie curled up into the elder's side, abandoning his teddy bear for grabbing at the fabric of Lucifer's shirt with tiny grubby hands as he nodded off. Lucifer made sure to try not to move, in result of the slow rock ballad music and staying completely still so not to jostle and wake up his youngest brother who would 100% get cranky if woken. Slowly, Lucifer's eyes start to close, and he falls into a soft slumber as well.
And hey, if Michael returned from his walk, and after leaving Beel and Lilith into a play room went to check in on Lucifer and saw that sight; and then proceeded to grin and take multiple photos of said sight from multiple angles to use as blackmail on his little emo twin brother Lucikins on a later occassion, then that was Michael’s business and Michael’s business alone. And Lucifer's business when Michael didn't want to do the dishes when it was his night to do them, of course.
But if you ask, Belphie'll tell you that visiting the human world is what got him interested in that type of music.
Because he's a stinky smelly little liar and should be locked up in an attic.
On a side note he bullies you for being 'emo' :(
Bro is such a hypocrite.
But to be geniune, Belphie loves that he can share his music with you. He's happy you can bond over this with him.
Not that he'd ever outright tell you.
But you can tell in the way he gives you albums and vinyls as gifts, and makes you little playlists of ballads to sleep to. (He's gotten you into the habit smh.)
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justanerd1234 · 1 month
Text
Ok, so I’m not new to Tumblr but this is only my second time posting so I apologize if I do something wrong, but I need to rant.
I was doing my work in my world history class the other day. My teacher likes to play music, and she had it on some country station. Now, I like country music, that’s not the problem.
However, one song in particular came on, and I’d never heard it before. It’s probably actually a really popular song and I’ve just been living under a rock my whole life, but anyway, the more I listened to it and its lyrics, the more I began to hate it.
The song is “Friends Don’t” by Maddie and Tae. It showcases a lovely chorus that goes:
Friends don't call you in the middle of the night Couldn't even tell you why They just felt like saying hi Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys Finding reasons not to leave Trying to hide their chemistry Drive a little too slow (slow), take the long way home (home) Get a little too close (close) We do, but friends don't
And ok, I get the point of the song. I know it’s just supposed to be a sweet cheesy love song. But it just makes me think of how high romantic relationships are held above platonic ones in our society, and songs like this do nothing but inflate that disparity.
For someone who’s Aroace like me, friendships are all I have. And maybe it’s selfish, but I’m really damn tired of everybody telling me I’ll find someone eventually. I’m tired of people seeing all my friendships as second-rate. As less than. They can’t see that maybe my “someone” is found in all my friends that I get to spend life with. In a society that only really cares about romance and sex, people who aren’t constantly seeking those things are left forgotten. And it hurts. A lot.
I’m scared for what the future holds. I worry about how long it will take for all my friends to eventually leave me. How long will it be until my only source of companionship leaves me for something “better”.
I don’t want to be the second choice. I want somebody I can talk to about everything and do silly stuff with and everything. But society doesn’t care. They still see platonic relationships as less than.
They see me as less than.
Sorry for the rant, I just really needed to get this out.
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mecachrome · 2 months
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omg k i just saw ur top 3 landoscar moments post from october 2023... any changes/updates since then? new moments made it onto the list? or if not... favorite moment of 2024 so far? (i just like hearing (reading?) ur thoughts it's like reading an intellectual (but still sappy in my fave way) bedtime story 🥰)
hklsdfhlsfhd naurrr... this is so embarrassing why am i still deeply landoscarpilled 6 months later 😔
but honestly i have been thinking about this and the sheer volume of crasyinsane material and lore we've accrued since last year because now i'm like how would you even begin constructing a top 3....... the possibilities are endless!!!
in terms of pre-october content that i might have missed before, i'd say most of this ask still holds (lando's biggest fan dot mp4 will NEVER lose its insanity to me. quintessential landoscar meta as far as i'm concerned) but now i also desperately need 2 shout out portrait painting challenge...... when it came out i was of course susceptible to the "you look beautiful" bantz though mostly just wrote it off as shipbait and since then i've looked back on this video multiple times and been like ?! why was oscar's deference to lando so insane actually.... i've alr mentioned this b4 but 1) oscar taking lando's intro in stride and immediately responding i am ready lando norris 2) oscar playfully acquiescing and letting lando use purple after he'd already chosen it 3) >like 5 seconds later. "you like purple don't you?" "uhhhh... i can do now" (who says that.) 4) another stunning display of lando Nooticing and fixating on oscar's hair swoop and last but not least 5) the way oscar FOLDS OVER and giggles helplessly when lando tells him i've just done you all pink ??? like. OKAY. cheers
looking @ recent content..... personally i find 814 so fascinating because while there are many Discrete Moments i can point out that make my brain explode i also feel like to some degree the reason we (? or maybe just me. again i apologize for the nonsensical drivel i create) love to make parallel gifsets of them is because they have such an understated dynamic built off many minute unspoken habits and wordless exchanges and essentially Patterns so there is less of like... a need for spontaneous intimacy.... if that makes sense. it's about the consistency of reciprocal comfort... iterations..... palisades palisades......... ok this is totally not related to the ask i've just been rotating it in my mind
anyway 10 personable favs !!! arranged chronologically
finish the lyrics (oct 2023): a deeply obvious one but you can't Not include it 😩 i can't believe this came out a week after i answered that because seriously what da hell. @ OSCAR PIASTRI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YEWWWWWWWW. there are sooooo many things i could mention here that i feel have already been exhaustively expounded, the most obvious of course being the classic ojp Heart Eyes moment(s) (Many such cases......but also specifically the love story one) (like i'd argue silverstone was mostly responsible for getting 814 off the ground BUT this video was when their dynamic became the most "mainstream" and accessible to fandom as a whole... the amount of non-f1 fans i saw qrting reups of that clip!!!!) anyway but then you also get 👉 whatever the inside joke they have about old town road is. oscar saying "i reckon you'd be unreal in a karaoke bar in japan" which i still think is such a Line... just me ??? the way he verryryryyyy softly sings "yes" with lando at the end of their love story karaoke and the insane camera angle of him just out of focus. like. really in general there is just such a soft and lighthearted and Fun air to their dynamic in this video that makes me ;__; AND this is another prime moment of lando narrating oscar's firsts for him (singing on camera at mcl!!!) . ALSAURR lando tapping oscar on the bicep while sarcastically complimenting him. once again for two guys who never touch it compels me... actually i could go on about this video tbh like how oscar nearly falls off the couch giggling at lando playing the songs together and then it cuts to the next one and he's suddenly all flushed and his bangs have gotten all fucked up. he's so... they're so... let's move on.
splunk sim city challenge (nov 2023): many classic lines such as "i haven't even distracted you yet!" + oscar knowing his podium year and lando saying "you're a nerd!" + lando going ":) :o are you okay?" and so on... general setup of this challenge was crasy tbh. how it revolves around disrupting the other person's focus and the visual asymmetry of one being sat higher and having to lean over to distract them and how oscar just giggles goodnaturedly when lando sticks his cue cards in front of his face instead of getting annoyed and—SO ON. also forever obsessed with how oscar wordlessly lifts his eyebrows at lando at the end lol
that one sticker video (nov 2023): this video is insaaAAANEEEE to me. ANYONE ELSE??? first of all oscar and lando gingerly standing across each other on either side of the flower bed (while zak brown assumes a power stance directly on it lmfao) is already so visually overwhelming but then the way oscar glances up as he's removing the sticker from the cap, how you can seeeeee him calculating the move the entire time and being adorably pleased about it, @__@ the way lando grins at him afterward... (also crying at zb glancing at them and being equally charmed by their antics) wahhh TT__TT the vibes of this clip... immaculate
oscar thanking lando in their final post-race message (nov 2023): honestly the entire message in general but :__) one of my fav 814 moments OAT is oscar including lando in his thank you speech and lando not really expecting it and being genuinely touched by the gesture. lando is so endearingly fidgety the entire time honestly and the way he perks up a bit and wrings his hands together and playfully smiles at oscar when he mentions him... okayyy. anyway 2 me it's reminiscent of yes/no challenge "am i the funniest teammate you've ever had?" "(shyly) yeahhh... you're up there" (said in the same baby-ish voice as "so... lando?" UGH. UGHHHH) and how lando genuinely gets a bit awkwardly flustered by it like!!! god. wait ALSO i don't have the space for this so i'm throwing in end of season awards MMMM debatable + how gleefully lando threw oscar under the bus and in general just the incredible expression work going on for both of them during this exchange. God [2]
si rapid fire questions (dec 2023): this video was crucial in determining that oscar... well. is obsessed with accommodating and mirroring lando. many things we already knew (aka listening to whatever music lando listens to; insert prema lap "maybe i should move to an english team because the music's better" moment here) but equally important is oscar "stealing" lando's dinner, how lando presses him on the back to the future question until oscar just changes his answer to his, and of course as you know per my blog title NO I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU HAPPY is in my eyes top 5 most insane things oscar piastri has ever said. likeee... lando showing a bit of jokey remorse over enforcing his rules (don't even get me started about lando and game/challenge rules...) but oscar being sooo determined 2 honor his teasing 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 :melting_face: x100!!!
need to split this into two lists because apparently there's a div character limit 😔 continuing on
hilton spa ad (feb 2024): of course this pained me because of This Moment (specifically lando bringing his hand back down when oscar tried to lift it from beneath him 😮‍💨) but that is neither here nor there. obsessed with the salmon at the engineering table anecdote because the most logical explanation for oscar Not doing that anymore is because lando didn't like it... or he just eats different things now but we already know that he's adopted lando's preferred meal b4 so that's equally a lot 2 digest !!! also >the callback to their one million LOOK AT YOU/HIM moments >how they touch shoulders exactly Once when they sit down and then never again despite lando continuously leaning into oscar's space to get to the button... eugh. also just top tier oscar faces + hair 🥰
opening title behind the scenes (mar 2024): thinking about all the hilarious gifsets of this moment that i ate up deliciously 🧡🧡🧡 this was such a significant reminder of how 814 have just gotten like, exceedingly comfortable around each other & have learned 2 communicate via the most inscrutable expressions and noises and gestures that somehow suit Them perfectly x__x although i doubt they will ever really become ~effusive~ with each it's frankly even more devastating that they both help each other care less about maintaining appearances / how they often get so sucked into their interactions (see next bullet point) that everything else kind of just fades away in that instant.... all right ⚠️⚠️⚠️ maybe that's a bit of a stretch but we can pretend for the rpf lens!!! see also my tag spiel in this beautiful tuva gifset.
photo day antics (mar 2024): do you ever just...... what went on in bahrain. honestly. more from this weekend in a second but this video plus the accompanying photo encapsulate their dynamic so perfectly it makes me scream... how 814 are not only so annoyingly focused on each other all the time but also stand SOOO UNNECESSARILY CLOSE while every other teammate pairing is spaced out normally. yuki and checo glancing at them alksfdhdf 😭 truly so ridiculous that the poor photo person tried to get lando's attention and they pretended to comply for two seconds before oscar was lifting his foot to show lando his boot again. also why did it take oscar a million years to step away from lando and put a more appropriate amount of space between them...?! and even then it was barely that much........... (10 paragraphs of speaking later) I prefer really not to speak.
accidental waist grab (mar 2024): this gave me psychic damage so bad i should be lobotomized. we've already spoken about this perhaps erm excessively but why did lando feel the need to stand JUST as close to him if not closer after they broke apart. there was truly no need...... honestly the way this ship will have us looking up driver cams and staring at esteban ocon's ass as he gets out his car just for a single glimpse of their parc fermé dynamic.
bahrain post-race interview antics (mar 2024): You already knowwwww. the sky sports "he follows me everywhere" moment is equally important but the f1tv interview giving us horrifically natural banter (juxtaposing this with their previous interview moments...), lando's dumb faux australian accent and oscar playing along as always, and most of all them HIJACKING THE INTERVIEW & commiserating on camera together ❓❗️ lichrally the grid photo all over again. often when i have emotions over an 814 moment i worry that i sound overly He_Only_Got_Two_Eyes.jpeg but truly sometimes two people are just objectively insane. plus land of piastri/lando piastri.....
also runner up is the f1tv interview with lawrence aka lando's cooing noise @ oscar discussing lily (anyone else frame by frame color pick oscar's face to see how badly he flushed... no? just me?) + the beautiful self-aware surfacing of the CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS of their relationship...... !!! love when 2 guys expose and confirm their own sincerity in trying to verbally resist it. hem
is this anything. sorry eve LKSFDHLDHSF thank u for the ask & pls lmk what ur fav moments are too 🧡
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spiderfunkz · 8 months
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hi!
okokokok, what about the reader completely friend-zoning peter.
like peter is completely infatuated with nad tells her that he really likes her, but the reader's like "aww i like you a lot too! your like a brother to me"
basically the reader is oblivious to the fact that peter parker has a massive crush on them. :)
no pressure obviously but i just think that would be rly cute,
luv ya!
-victoria
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✧.* STUCK BY THE GLUE.
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— summary : peter was confessing his love to you, though you didn't quite get the message.
— word count : 0,6k
— warnings : all fluff, oblivious!reader, teasing, friends to lovers, cheesy confessions, a kiss, happy ending because i'm soooooooo nice😝😝😛😛😛
a/n : i did gn!reader btw i hope thats ok!!!! some of the confession stuff are inspired by beabadoobee lyrics.
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"what about.. number 13?" you ask.
you and peter have just finished a long week of tests. which means you now have to bombard peter with thousands of questions about his answers.
"uh, i answered b. i think." he replies, unpacking the books from his bag.
you blink, you were pretty sure you answered d. and knowing peter answered b, you were pretty sure you got that one wrong.
"do you think mr. anderson will still give me a point? because a 'd' is basically a 'b' but backwards." you explain.
"maybe, mr. anderson will probably give you a pity point." he replies, still unpacking the books from his bag. you were sitting on the edge of his bed, "i don't think mr. anderson is capable of feeling pity for anyone."
"don't think about it too much. i think you did good on your tests. i mean, you did have the best tutor." he smiles — "oh yeah! how could i forget, jimmy neutron is my tutor."
"okay. rude." he puts his hand on his chest, letting out a dramatic gasp. "what? you have brown hair, you make weird gadgets, and you're abnormally smart." you shrug.
"that's bullying."
"is calling people smart bullying now?"
"when you say it, yes. you're lucky i love you." he sits next to you.
you smile at the L word. though you were 100% sure he meant it platonically. that's what friends do, right?
"you're not gonna say it back?" he pouts.
you laugh, jokingly. but peter didn't.
"oh don't take it to heart, pete."
"can i tell you something?" his heart was racing, "yeah, of course. are you okay?" he seemed tense all of the sudden.
"there's no other way of saying this really. but i like you. a lot." he pauses, "i have never known someone quite like you. you're so pretty it actually hurts." he stutters. a lot.
"i'm having trouble finding the words for this, yet the words to describe you aren't so hard to find. you're like a fresh breath of air. like a shot of espresso. like a cold wind on a hot summer day. you're like a ribbon, laced around a braid." he rambles, "and i really, really like you."
you can't even process whatever he just said. you're not sure how to respond to any of that.
but for whatever reason, your brain can only come up with one response.
"aw, peter. i like you a lot too!
you're like a brother to me."
and with that peter's face looked like a ghost. he just poured his entire heart only for you to completely friend-zone him.
"is something wrong?" you ask.
"you did not just pull that card on me."
"what card?"
peter sighs, covering his face with his hand in utter embarrassment.
"oh." you realize. "let's just forget everything i just said. anyways, what did you get for number 16?" peter changes the topic.
"peter-"
"or maybe number 15? i heard gwen say that was the hardest question."
"peter!"
"or number 3? have you asked me about number 3 yet? i can explain number 3 to you."
he won't listen, so you shut him up,
by kissing him.
now, you aren't doing this because you feel bad. but you truly do have feelings for peter. you don't know why it took peter to finally confess to you for you to realize. but you do. you really do.
"now can you please just listen."
peter's cheeks were bright red, he nodded.
"i really like you too peter and gosh, i wish i realized sooner." you were struggling to find the right words to continue, just like peter did a few minutes ago.
"i like you. i like your messy brown hair, i like your weird gadgets and when you ramble about them, i like how caring you are and how patient you are all the time with me."
"and i love you too."
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dean-a-mean-tae · 6 months
Text
Light At The End | Stray Kids Extra Member AU
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You shine bright Brighter than all the stars ... And your perfection even in your mistakes Give affection even when your heart aches
Chan x Nicholas | Those are song lyrics from Alvin and the Chipmunks ;-; | I hope this was to your standards!
WARNINGS: Discrimination, Racism, Could be perceived as self-harm (Nicholas gets hurt twice but is okay with both), anorexia (different for everyone this is based on my experience), I think that's it
I realized I forgot to put warnings, and I am so sorry. (Update 12/22/23 9:20)
Nicholas Ross Master List | Requested: Yes | Of The Tunnel Part 2
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"I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to be honest," Chan whispered. His voice was loud in the silence of his room. Nicholas sat with him with a stuffed frog in his lap.  
They were in their spot again. The place Nicholas first opened up to Chan. The place where Chan swore to help Nicholas find himself.
"What happened?"
You know the phrase, 'Your parents are your first bullies,' right? They told you they did it to prepare you for the world, and it worked. You know the world is cruel, and nowhere is safe for you. Not even your head. Your head is clouded by judgment forced on you as a child.
"Why don't you talk to me?" They whine. They don't realize they follow in their parents' footsteps. They tell your business because it's family, then get angry when you do the same. Isn't that what they taught you?
Nicholas grew up in a world of hate and then got thrown into a world of more hate.
He couldn't handle the ones about his appearance. Why don't they like him? He's tall, has soft skin, has healthy hair, and is happy. He has proper hygiene and cares for his body as much as it allows. 
He was used to the comments about his talent, or lack thereof. He could handle the ones complaining about his spot in Stray Kids. Those were easy because they were true. These cuts weren't deep, and they reminded him of home.
"You did good in practice today," Felix said as he looped his arm through Nick's.
"Only because Minho hyung stayed behind and helped. I'm out of rhythm still," Nicholas denied, shaking his head.
But the ones about his appearance? His mother taught him to be proud of his complexion and how his hair grew from his scalp. So, what was wrong with him? Why don't they like him? Why can't they like him?
"Nicholas?"
Maybe he should get a perm. Is that what it's called? A perm? The thing that gives you curls or takes your curls is a perm, right? Whatever, the stylist will know what he's talking about. It was her idea anyway.
"When will you tame these knots?" The woman groaned as she brushed through Nicholas' hair. It hurt, but he wouldn't say anything. She is the hairstylist. This is her job. It hurt when his momma braided his hair, but it always looked good when done.
"What knots? I brushed and plaited my hair," Nicholas explained, looking at the woman in the mirror. She would be pretty if she stopped glaring. Glaring gave her wrinkles around the eyes and reminded him of those pug dogs.
"We should put a relaxer in your hair. The chemicals will make it straight and fix these knots." She ignored him. She kept talking about his unmanageable hair and how difficult it was to work with him.
Relaxer, that's what it's called, or is it both? Nicholas can't remember. He should schedule one. He couldn't tell the members. Jeongin and Changbin would strangle him before letting him get rid of his curls.
"Nick, can you hear me?"
"Did you hear?" Someone whispered, and Nicholas tilted his head. The mirror showed the two stylists behind him.
"He only washes his hair once a month. Twice if his members help him," She grumbled. 
The woman in front of her grimaced in disgust, "Could you imagine the build-up?"
"What about his stylist?" The first one huffed, leaning to hide from a passing staff. "Don't you think it's selfish making her deal with the dirt?"
Maybe the relaxer will help make wash days easier. Simple wash days meant his hair could be washed frequently. 
His eyes were stinging again. 
"Don't rub your eye so hard," Chan scolded as he yanked Nicholas' arm away from his eye. The pull sent a pain up his shoulder, but it's okay. "You still have your contacts in."
Contacts? Oh, the new ones he got from Nicki. After one of the members gave her his account information, she would put money in his account and order things for him. A sweet woman, she is.
For some reason, these contacts prevent him from crying. He likes them.
"Is this about the comments?" Chan whispered. He knew? Of course, he knows. If Chan knows, then Minho knows. Minho finds these things before everyone.
Nicholas still can't find the strategy in Minho's methods.
"Nicholas?" 
He did it again. He fell down the rabbit hole. He needs to stop doing that. Did he eat today? He skipped breakfast cause he had an early practice. He promised Hyunjin he would eat later after vocal lessons. He drank a smoothie and ate an apple. 
Technically, he didn't lie. Hyunjin would still be mad, though.
"I need to eat something," Nicholas said, more like croaked. Had he been quiet this whole time?
"You're hungry?" Chan asked.
"No." But he knew he needed to eat something. He was doing so well. He ate two meals and four snacks yesterday. And he didn't throw up. He forgot to tell Nicki about that. 
Too late now. Progress gone.
"I'm proud of you." Maybe it was how soft Chan said. Or it could have been because of the raw emotion in his voice. But a quiet, pathetic sound left Nicholas' lips, and his fists tightened around the frog. Gentle hands guided him to warmth. 
You would think he'd be used to this by now. Comfort through touch or even words. He didn't have that from his parents, and his sister didn't know how to be gentle until they were older.
"I'm proud of you."
There it was again. The phrase that broke him. The phrase that scared him. He used to think love was conditional.
But a genuine love, platonic or romantic, is unconditional, even when it hurts. That's why it hurts to move on or forget.
He was moving now. Where is he going?
"Go to sleep, Nick," Chan whispered. Oh, he's being carried. That's why it's so warm. They're going home? He missed home. He wondered how they were doing.
"Thank you, Starlight," Nicholas whispered.
"You're welcome."
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Nicholas Ross Master list | Of The Tunnel Part 2
©️DEANAMEANTAE2023
Tags list: @bada-lee-ily, @jinnie-ret, @hwxnghyynjin, @foxilsdenn, @rensahazard, You can be added by asking in the replies, sending me a message, or doing an ask thingy.
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babydollmarauders · 1 year
Text
HITS DIFFERENT— JACK HUGHES
final part of the Midnights Fic List
summary: in which y/n and Jack were in a relationship for 4 years before deciding to go separate ways, but everything reminds her of him and y/n realizes she’s made a mistake by letting him go.
specific lyrics: “i washed my hands of us at the club, you made a mess of me. i pictured you with other girls in love, then threw up on the street.” and “they say that if it's right, you know. each bar plays our song, nothing has ever felt so wrong.” and “i find the artifacts, cried over a hat, cursed the space that i needed. i trace the evidence, make it make some sense why the wound is still bleedin'. you were the one that i loved.” and “i heard your key turn in the door down the hallway. is that your key in the door? is it okay? is it you?” and “i never don't cry at the bar. yeah, my sadness is contagious. i slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car.” and “love is a lie; shit my friends say to get me by.”
notes: i don't know how i feel about this one. i feel like i could've potentially done better, but anyways MIDNIGHTS FIC LIST IS OFFICIALLY DONE! it's a month later than i had originally wanted to finish it, but it's finally done!
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the reflection staring back at me is a bit of a hot mess. mascara smudged, hair tousled, lipstick fading. i stare in the mirror until i feel the sting of the hot water on my hands, pulling them back with a hiss of pain. the alcohol running through my veins helps me avoid overthinking about this dingy club bathroom, my shoes sticking to the floor with every step. but the buzz does nothing to help with the thoughts that run through my mind when i hear the song that’s blasting from the speakers throughout the club.
“y/n/n, you good?” my head snaps over to Marie, her upper body peeking in through the bathroom door. one look at me makes her sigh. “you’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?”
“it’s our song.” i explain, as though she hasn’t heard the same excuse at every other bar we’ve been to in the past six months.
“i know it is, hun.” she gives me a pitiful smile, fully entering the grimy bathroom in order to grab my hand.
“it just feels so wrong hearing it without him.” tears well up in my eyes, my heart hurting just a little extra.
“let’s go get you another drink.” i give a numb nod in response, letting her lead me to our other friends that sit in a booth by the bar. at the sight of my state, they both give each other an unspoken glance before giving me a look of pity.
“i ordered you another tequila sunrise.” Beth tells me, sliding the drink towards me. i drop into the booth, muttering a short ‘thanks’ before gulping at the drink.
“lay it on us, babe. what’s on your mind tonight?” Lisa pipes up, sipping at her own drink and raising a brow at me.
“i just— they say that if it’s right, you know. and i thought we were right. but, it makes no sense because why didn’t i know until we broke up? i mean, i knew. obviously i knew, i followed him here from Michigan. but, i didn’t know know until we separated, ya know?”
“i’m gonna be honest, i only understood maybe half of what you just said.” Lisa says, making Beth and Marie giggle. “but love is a lie, y/n/n. sure, you can like someone enough to be with them for a long time, but romantic love? complete bullshit. it doesn’t exist. this isn’t the movies.”
“she’s right. and the quicker you realize that, the quicker you’ll get over him.” Marie nods, pointing at Lisa as she speaks while Beth hums in agreement.
“i don’t know if i’ll ever get over him. i love him. i miss him.” i whine. “i want him back. i don’t wanna be here. i want Jack.”
“alright, maybe it’s time we get you back home.” Beth sighs, tapping her thumbs on her phone. ordering an uber, i assume.
“i don’t wanna go home. i wanna see Jack.”
“you can’t see Jack, y/n. you’re drunk, and you guys broke up.” Marie pats my shoulder, helping me out of the booth and out of the club, the other two girls following behind us.
i continue mumbling to myself, my words slurred, and i’m eighty percent sure that the only actual audible word was my ex’s name.
“c’mon, hun. watch your head.” Lisa coos, helping me into the uber. “we’ll see you on tuesday, babe. get some sleep.”
Marie and Beth call out some goodbyes before Lisa shuts the car door, she motions for the guy up front to lower his window, whispering something to him before he starts off towards my house.
“would it be too late to ask to change the drop off location?” i ask him, anxiously playing with the strap of my purse as i speak.
“i’m sorry, ma’am. your friend just told me you might ask that. she said i’m under strict orders to take you straight to the predetermined destination.” i heave out a deep breath, slumping back into the seat of the car.
it doesn’t take too long to get to my apartment complex, muttering a ‘thank you’ to the man before sliding out of the vehicle and making my way up to my apartment. as soon as i make it into the apartment, i bee-line for my bedroom, stripping out of my club outfit and changing into some leggings and a tank top. i wipe off my makeup and throw my hair up before entering my closet. my sights set on the old USA Hockey sweatshirt on my shelf, i hop up, reaching for the article of clothing. however, as soon as i pull it down, something else comes tumbling down with it, falling to the floor in front of me.
slipping the sweatshirt on, i bend down to pick up the fallen item. holding it, tears prick the backs of my eyes as i realize what it is, Jack’s hat. his New York Yankees hat to be exact. my heart aches remembering the times he wore it. our Yankees game, date nights, even just lounging around the house. clutching the hat to my chest, i sink to the floor, sitting criss cross as i cry.
space. why did i think i needed space? i got plenty of space when he was always gone for roadies. fuck space. i just want him. my fingers trace the Yankees symbol, my tears falling down onto the dark blue fabric. why does it still hurt so bad? it’s been six months.
i know it may not help that i’m still in the same apartment we shared. every piece of this home reminds me of him. but it’s been much too hard to move. i tried looking at other apartments, but nothing felt as right as this one. i’m not ready to give up the last piece i have of the one i love.
too busy crying on the closet floor, i barely hear the lock on the front door turning. my head snaps up at the sound, trying to remember which of my friends have spare keys. Marie, Beth, and Lisa are the only ones, but i just left them. that only leaves two other options, Quinn or Jack. but, that i’m aware of, Quinn is still in Vancouver. i know he doesn’t have another game in New Jersey until next month. which only leaves Jack. i try not to get my hopes up, but i can’t help but wonder if it’s him, if he’s come back. the chances are slim. it’s been six months, why would he come back now?
i come to the decision that it’s probably Marie checking up on me. probably worried about the way i was when we parted not that long ago. it wouldn’t be the first time she’s checked on me.
footsteps thump against the wooden floors, getting closer to the bedroom, and i huddle further into the closet, hoping Marie will just leave me alone. tears still stream down my face as i clutch the hat closer to my chest, letting out silent sobs.
“y/n?”
that’s not Marie.
too exhausted, i opt out of leaving the closet, not even able to get myself to speak without being racked with sobs. i sniffle as i hear him pass the closet, the footsteps stop for a moment before i hear them start again, getting closer to the cracked open closet door. i don’t bother looking, fully believing that at this point i’m a mix of drunk and sleep deprived, just hearing things that aren’t there. i wipe at my eyes but the tears keep coming. i shift to bring my knees to my chest, the hat now gripped in my hands in front of me.
“oh, baby.” i hear from behind me before a body drops down beside me on the floor, pulling me into them. his cologne fills my senses, my face buried into his chest. the scent fills me with melancholy, memories of when he used to hold me close and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. comforting me. making me feel at home within his arms.
“it’s okay.” as if i summoned the whispers with my thoughts, his breath fans across my ear. “i’m here. i’ve got you. i’m right here.”
his reassurances calm me just slightly, but the real help is when he splays a hand along my chest, taking deep breaths. muscle memory takes over as i mimic his breathing.
“what are you doing here?” i ask once i’ve finally calmed enough to speak. i wipe at my nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, finally looking up into the blue eyes that peer down at me.
“Beth called me.” he whispers.
“she did?”
“yeah. she told me you’re not doing okay.” he confesses. “she didn’t tell me much more than that. just that she’d really appreciate if i checked on you.”
“you came over here in the middle of the night just to check on me?” i question. “you have a game tomorrow. you should be sleeping.”
“you’re a lot more important than a game.” his hand moves from my chest to cup my jaw. “i told you i would always be here for you, y/n. i meant it.”
“but, we broke up. i didn’t think you cared anymore.” a lone tear drops from my right eye as i speak.
“i’ll always care about you. i don’t think i can ever stop. i love you, y/n/n. and i know you said you wanted space, and i respected that, but i told you when we broke up that i would be here when you decided you were ready.” he pauses, his eyes scanning my face before he continues speaking. “and now i really hope you’re ready because these past few months have been hell without you.”
“i made a mistake. i don’t want space. i want you. you’re the only thing i’ve wanted since i was seventeen.” my voice is barely above a whisper, scared for his response.
“you have me. i’m right here.” his eyes jump between my own and my lips three times before he leans down. i meet him halfway, our lips pressing together in a slow kiss. gentle passion and love radiates between us, his hands cupping my face as mine grip the nape of his neck as if he'll disappear from my hold.
pulling away, his forehead leans against mine. my breath catches in my throat at the sight of the smile gracing his lips. a smile of my own spread across my face and i crane my neck to place a chaste kiss on his lips.
"i missed you so much." i admit. "moving on from boys in high school was so easy, but the heartbreak hit different this time."
"that's how you know it's real. we're real. there's no moving on from us." he tells me. "at least, not for me."
he pulls me in tighter against him, crashing his lips against mine once more, and i feel content again, my life being fixed with such a simple motion.
507 notes · View notes
coucouatoi · 9 months
Text
we're not who we used to be | h.s.
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Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader
Summary: Some letters you've written but never sent to Harry over the years.
Warnings: Angst... so much... there's some fluff, emphasise on the some, there's a hopeful ending tho!
A/N: Sooo this is the childhood friends to strangers fic no one asked for... Hope you all enjoy! This is my writing debut in Harry land :)
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April 10' 2010
To: Harry Styles From: Your first fan
Hiya Harry,
It's currently 11:29 pm about 10 hours away from your audition. I figured since you told me to stop praising you and boosting your ego, I'm writing down the rest of the things I want to say.
Firstly, I know you're going to smash it! All the judges are going to want you in. There's no chance that they won't see how special you are, how you're the next big thing.
I won't let you back out of it last second! Anne, Gemma and I are ready to drag you onto the stage, we've discussed it thoroughly...
Secondly, I'm already so proud of you. This is a huge step, I know how nervous you are about it. How you think that everything is going to go wrong and that you'll fail. I've got enough hope in you for the both of us. I'll stand by your side the whole time and I'll cheer the loudest.
To finish, you're Harry Styles. You can do anything.
Break a leg superstar!!
Cheering you on already,
Your first-ever fan
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
December 12' 2010
To: Harry Styles From: Your biggest fan
Harry!
You've made it all the way to the finals! It's crazy! I knew you could do it but seeing you go further and further has been surreal.
I hope you and the other boys get along well! We haven't had much chance to really gossip about it all, you seem excited with them!
The finale is set to start in about 2 hours and I had to get some emotions out (my mom was tired of hearing them... rude) Anyway! I remembered that I had written you a letter a few months ago and now I'm back in this notebook.
I'm so nervous, excited and kind of nauseous about watching the last episode tonight. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now... You must be so scared but incredibly jittery!
I'm counting the days until I get to see you again! I want to hear everything that's happened behind the scenes! You know how nosy I am!
I've already taken up two pages so I'll stop for now.
You can do this!
Talk to you soon,
Your favourite person ever
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March 7' 2011
To: You From: Me <3
You called me Angel today...
I don't know what to make of that.
I had so many butterflies in my stomach.
Could you call me that again?
You're my favourite person,
Angel
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November 20' 2011
To: Harry From: Angel
Boo!
You finally let me listen to the full album today! Said you had to be there when I listened to it so you could give me all the secrets. You also wanted to see live how I reacted to every song. You're too cute.
"I Want" is my current favourite.
You did tell me that you'd resonated with a lot of the lyrics you sang on this album. That almost scares me.
How did you relate? Who was going through your mind?
You do have the world at your feet now. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do like having you all to myself. Don't worry I'll get used to sharing...
The Up All Night Tour is starting soon! I'm happy that you've invited me to come to some shows. I'll be there no matter if I have to miss school.
I have to show all these newbies that I'm THE biggest Harry Styles fan out there!
Hopefully, you thought about me while signing.
Because I think about you all the time,
Your favourite fan.
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
April 13' 2012
To: Harry From: Angel
G'Day Mate!
So you're officially all the way in Australia now! That's so exciting I wish that you could have stuffed me into your suitcase... sniff
I bet it's super warm there! Or not wait their seasons aren't the same as ours, are they? I'm not even sure...
Hopefully, you can tan a little while you're there! Don't go near any animals or insects!!
I miss you a lot, maybe I'll send this one (spoiler I definitely won't).
Talk to you soon hopefully.
Go swim in the ocean,
Someone who wants to be in it
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
August 29' 2012
To: Harry From: Angel?
You haven't come to see me since you've been back.
Too busy being a celebrity?
I've been seeing all these tabloids... I'm not allowed to be jealous I know but I miss you.
I hope you've missed me.
I really really wish you were here with me or that I was with you wherever you are now.
I just want to be us.
Have you forgotten your friend from the small town already?
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
January 1' 2013
To: Harry From: Someone You've Hurt
I don't know what to think,
You kissed me. It made me happy.
You said it was a New Year's kiss.
You said you drank too much, it hurt.
You ended up kissing someone else about 20 minutes later.
That hurt even more it almost made me feel used.
I'm happy you were my first kiss.
I don't think you'll even remember it,
Y/N
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
November 27' 2014
To: Harry From: Me
I love the new album, took me a while to finally listen to it. I thought you'd come home and make me listen to it in your presence.
You didn't. The first album that I've listened to alone.
Spaces and Fools Gold are my favourite songs. I wonder how many lyrics you resonate with. How many of them did you write?
Come home?
Only for a day please,
Your first Angel
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
October 21' 2015
To: Harry From: Y/N
It's been a while,
It's your mom's birthday today. Well only for a few more hours...
She invited my family and me to the party, and of course we went. I didn't think you'd be there. I haven't seen you in almost a year.
It was fun.
Catching up about everything that's been going on with you and the band. Your life is so much more interesting than mine now.
I'm just a boring college student... you're this huge star but that's ok there's no one like you for me, you're my safe place. No matter how far away.
You asked about my love life and I told you about the date I had a few days ago. You asked if we had sex, I lied and said yes. I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling you no one's ever been with me like that.
We ended up getting drunk. Too drunk.
We fucked.
You took my virginity and you have no idea... should I tell you? You were so good. So gentle, loving but you fucked with a purpose, you needed to get off. I won't ever see your childhood bedroom the same way.
This was only a few hours ago.
I've felt every emotion about it. Now I'm crying because I know you'll find someone new to share a bed with. I'm just a notch in your headboard.
It meant everything to me.
But I think I regret it...
Y/N
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
May 12' 2017
To: You From: Me
Really?
I hope Only Angel isn't about me.
But I'm overanalysing every single song. Is one about me? Did you think of me while making this album?
We haven't talked since the last time we saw each other. When we fucked again. It wasn't even the second time, after your mom's birthday two years ago we never stopped. It's all we do when we see each other.
It doesn't make me feel all that much better but I feel like if it wasn't for that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.
I'm moving away this year. Got a job offer in Canada and I'm taking it.
Maybe I'll get over you... hopefully.
I can't live my whole life waiting for someone who I don't know anymore.
I'm blocking your number.
I miss who we used to be,
Your first-ever fan
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December 4' 2019
To: H From: Y/N
Hello,
You've crawled your way back into my life, Harry. This morning, you decided to send me your album. Your new one, Fine Line. Your fans haven't even heard it yet. The public hasn't either.
You didn't write a single thing in your email, the mp3 link was staring me down with your automated signature. Not even a greeting.
I shouldn't have listened to it.
I don't know why you sent it to me. We haven't spoken or crossed paths in over a year. Not since I moved and tried to get rid of every way of contact between us.
I still haven't answered, I don't think I will.
You don't get to know what I feel about it. Not anymore.
I'm sorry Harry.
I've moved on,
Y/N
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
December 13' 2019
To: H From: Y/N
Your new album came out today.
I'm proud of you even if we are strangers now.
You're a superstar.
I always knew you would be,
Y/N
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
March 17' 2020
To: H From: Y/N
I saw that you had to postpone your tour.
You must feel so defeated.
I know I do. Everything's been closed and opened and closed again here in Canada. It's getting exhausting.
I hope the world starts working again soon.
This all sucks...
Crossing my fingers for the tour,
Y/N
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May 18' 2022
To: Harry From: Y/N
Hi,
You sent me the album before the release again.
This time you did say something: I miss you Angel, Can we meet up?
I didn't think I could feel so many butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager again. And I cried more than once listening to Harry's House.
I'm still considering if I should answer... if I do what should I choose? Should I agree and go into the unknown or forget it happened and keep on going with my life?
I miss you too... the one I knew. Not the one who used me. I guess I used you too... How did we get here?
All I want is to be loved and to be in love.
I'm not sure if I'm ready for the hurt this will bring but maybe I should just be a grown-up about this...
I want you back in my life.
That scares me,
Y/N
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August 16' 2022
To: Harry From: Y/N
Well,
I'm going to the Love On Tour today and after we are going to "meet". We even have until the 20th because that is when your next show is, after today obviously.
You were so excited when I agreed.
It's almost as if no time has passed when we text (he changed his number in the last few years... no need for an embarrassing unblocking).
My friend, the one who convinced me to agree, helped me pick out an outfit. Thankfully for her, I won't stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd of feather boas and cowboy hats.
I really want this to work.
I want to believe that we can be good again. We can be healthy for one another again but I'll be worried until I see you.
Until we speak.
I won't let myself touch you, I have a feeling that it would be far too easy to fall back into a bed. Maybe a hug would be okay.
I'm excited for the show, to see the Superstar Harry Styles in action. After so many years you have to have evolved so much.
You aren't little Harry from Worcestershire anymore.
I'm not the same person I once was either.
See you tonight.
Break a leg,
Y/N
174 notes · View notes
mochatsin · 9 months
Text
WHEN MC SINGS
Before Devildom, you loved to sing. It’s something you do whether you’re alone or with anyone. You didn’t tell the brothers though, but they find out eventually when you’re caught because you thought you were alone.
------------
Lucifer 
He was walking around the house to check on his brothers, but he stopped when he passed by the music room. 
One of his records was playing, but he was sure he left it off though so he wondered why it could be playing. 
Before he opens the handle, he hears the singer being accompanied by a voice. Your voice. 
He immediately lets go of the handle. He didn’t want to interrupt your singing since he’s not sure if he’s ever gonna have this chance again. 
Your voice was melodic and you harmonized well with the singer. This was one of the opera songs that he introduced to you since it was safe for human ears. You loved it so much you have it memorized. 
You just wanted to dust off the shelves as part of your cleaning duties, but thought that a little bit of tunes won't hurt anybody. Unfortunately for you, the oldest and most powerful of the brothers was actually outside the door listening to you sing your heart out. 
All he can think of was how much it was a crime that he never knew about this talent of yours until now. 
When you finished the song, you heard a small round of applause and you turned only to find him standing by the door. “You never told me that you were so talented. I hope I was the first to witness this show.”
When he’s stressed from work, he would invite you to his room and you would sing him one of his favorite songs to soothe his nerves. It’s always effective. 
Mammon
He wanted to go to your room and talk about his ‘latest and quick money-makin’ scheme’ as usual. 
He was so excited, he thinks his plan could work and it’s fool-proof but before he could barge in, he heard you humming a soft melody. It’s a habit you always do when you’re studying alone. 
Mammon is so thankful he stopped himself from barging in your door, since your humming has evolved to singing. 
To him, it’s one of the best things he’s ever heard of in this century. There’s something so soothing about your voice when you sing, he’s drawn to it.
He found himself leaning onto your door to hear you clearly, but he didn’t know your door was left ajar and accidentally stumbled into your room which made you stop. 
Now you’re both turning red. 
“D-DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS LISTENING TO YOUR ANGELIC VOICE OR SOMETHING!!” 
Honestly, he thought about using your singing talent to catch a few grimm. He knows for sure it’s a good plan. But he’d rather keep you for himself. 
Levi
The moment he hears someone playing the opening of his favorite anime, he’s scrambling outside his room to find out who it is. 
No one in this house could possibly share his love for anime without him knowing right? The only person he can ever think of is MC. 
You were in your room, rewatching your favorite episode and started singing along to the song. He was absolutely stunned at how fast you could memorize the lyrics too since you just saw this a few days ago! 
But he doesn’t blame you since the song was meant to be catchy, to the point he unknowingly found himself singing along to it as well. 
He only realized it when you stopped and turned in his direction. He seemed more embarrassed than you are judging by how red he looks.
You smiled and invited him over, where you rewind the opening so you both could sing it together. 
Levi can’t help but stutter every now and then when he’s that close to you. You find it cute anyways. 
He finally found himself a new karaoke buddy to sing all his songs with.
“Y-yknow with your voice, you can totally make it big if you made those song covers on DevilTube!”
If you actually do consider that, Levi will definitely be your new manager and biggest supporter. Expect him with light sticks while cheering you on.
Satan
Sometimes when you two are alone together, you would slightly hum some tunes under your breath while reading books with him. 
You think he doesn’t hear you, but he’s a demon so of course his hearing is sharper than an average person. 
That doesn’t mean he wants you to stop though, so he lets you. It helps him relax and enjoy books more when you do. 
For the past few days you’ve been humming the same song and it’s driving him insane. He wants to know what it is, but asking you that is admitting he heard you this whole time and he doesn’t want that to end. 
That’s until he passed by your room and heard the familiar tune playing but this time accompanied by its lyrics. Finally! He wanted to stay for a few minutes to listen to the lyrics and search for the song. The singer is rather talented so he can’t help himself. 
But when he peaked he couldn’t believe that it was actually you who was singing. How could you have been this talented without him realizing it?! He’s been reading next to someone with the voice of an angel!
It’s only when you finished that he entered the room with a smile on his face. 
“I came here to ask you about that song you’ve been humming this whole time but… I think I got more than what I’ve bargained for.” 
You didn’t know what exactly to be embarrassed about. Is it the fact you were caught singing or the fact he heard you this whole time? 
But he never made fun of you for it. He welcomes it actually. So he lets you sing all you want when you both are alone. It’s a win for him either way. 
Asmo
He has this tendency of showing you what’s trending lately on Devilgram. Whether it’s about him (it is most of the time), new places he wants to check out, or funny reels, it’s no wonder that you’re so updated with everything. 
Some of those clips have audios from the latest hit songs. And one night Asmo showed you several clips of a trend that uses that song at least 50 times. Now it’s playing in your head like a broken record player until you listen to the whole song yourself. 
It was a hit song for a reason honestly, as you found yourself singing to it every time you fixed yourself up in front of the mirror. 
Asmo was just about to do your hair for you when he overheard you singing. He’s wondering about your grades in seduction and witchcraft because he absolutely fell for your charms. 
You’re stunning, beautiful, and even so talented! He’s head over heels for you and all he wants now is to show you off to the world. 
You spot him by looking at the mirror of your vanity, and he looks like he’s barely holding in squeals of excitement before running to you. 
“OMG you never told me you loved the song! If you posted yourself singing it on Devilgram then i'm SURE you’ll get so much likes. I can already imagine the views darling!” 
Would hype you up every  time you sing, whether it's alone or in a karaoke booth. He’s always going to be your number 1 cheerleader. Next would be Levi. (They would both have light sticks) 
Beel
He was in the mood of getting a snack and he promised to get some for Belphie as well when he went to the kitchen.
Beel found some light from the kitchen area and thought that someone else was there. He hoped it wasn’t Lucifer or Satan so he could grab his snacks in peace. 
He stopped when he heard you singing to a small song while cooking up something. A small habit you have when you’re bored and sure that no one else is around. 
Miraculously, Beel forgot about his hunger because he was so enchanted by your voice. It makes him smile. It’s like you’re in your own personal world when you sing your heart out, and he’s a part of it now even if he’s just outside the kitchen. 
When you finished, you turned around and found Beel just standing outside the kitchen. You asked what he’s doing just standing there and he smiles. 
“I was supposed to grab a small snack there but… I wanted to listen to you more without disturbing you. You have a great voice after al—” his stomach growled before he could finish his sentence. 
You let him have a taste of whatever it was you’re cooking as thanks for the compliment. 
Beel had to deal with a grumpy Belphie who’s been waiting for the snack he accidentally forgot. 
When Beel starts getting nervous about his upcoming match, he asks if you can sing him something soothing to calm down his nerves. It became some sort of pre-game ritual now between you two. 
Belphie
It’s part of your daily routine for you to spend an hour or so just napping with Belphie. Well, more like he spends time sleeping on your lap while you do homework. 
Sometimes when you’re sure he’s fallen asleep, you would sing soft songs but not too loud that you would wake him up. 
Though there was one time that Belphie couldn’t fall asleep. He felt comfortable laying his head on your lap, his eyes were closed but not asleep.
That's when he heard it. Your voice was so melodic as you were singing a small lullaby. It’s like you dedicated the song to him and he’s loving it. 
He feels himself slowly getting sleepy, so he wraps his arms around your waist and smiles with his eyes still closed. 
You stopped because you thought you might’ve woken him up, unknown to you that he wasn’t even asleep the entire time. Though he whines before he speaks. 
“I like it… when you sing. It’s easier to fall asleep so… can you please continue?”
How could you say no to his request honestly? You stroke his hair gently with your fingers while you continue with the rest of your lullaby for him.
Now whenever he can’t fall asleep, he’ll come looking for you and ask if you can sing for him while he sleeps on your lap. 
Sometimes he would just pretend he’s sleeping so he can hear the rest of your songs, but he never tells you that. 
248 notes · View notes
circeyoru · 2 months
Note
have you listened to the song "Partner in Crime" by Madilyn Mei? If not, I strongly recommend it because it makes me think of Unwanted Souls!Alastor. Specifically early days of when the reader tries to push him away
This is for {Unwanted Soul} , check MASTERLIST for the work
The one I listened to is Partners in Crime by Set it Off. But I gave this a listen and omg the lyrics are quite in sync with the story!!
Let me go on a song tangant. Stay if you wanna read.
**Heavy spoiler if you haven't caught up with this series!!!!!
You're right; this matches well in the beginning when Reader/you are trying to push Alastor away so you can go back to your little world of self-indulgence. But what happened afterwards is Alastor staying and showing you care and devotion you never had.
Now, if you keep up with everything I posted about {Unwanted Soul}, you'll know that I never planned for this oneshot to end up as a series with this much background and connections for you. So, in Part 1, it was entirely matched with the request and that long to avoid a continuation. But then you saw the results, hahahahaha~
Anyways. Part 1 never mentioned anything of a dilemma of you pushing Alastor away yet wanting him near you, the later parts did. If you piece back everything, you'll see what I mean with this song.
When you're gone I feel alone again The voices cannot hold my hand They keep me company at very best Distract me from my loneliness
Here, this is a reference to when you had that breakdown when Alastor was more than late for that grocery shopping. You hoped it work, but when it did, you just feel so lonely. Everywhere you see in the apartment, especially the living room since that's where Alastor always was. So you retreated into your room, where he barely had permission to enter. With low self-esteem and self-harming thoughts, you conjured a knife and just stabbed yourself to distract yourself from the mental pain.
Maybe I'm just an anomaly Even my demons have their families Truly something must be wrong with me To need you as much as I do
Naturally, this is a reference to your living years. You felt alienated in your life and among the people that surrounds you. Yes, you're stable and successful to the point that you don't have to worry about getting hungry or not having a house to return to. But you felt so empty with what you're doing. You wanted companionship that you can lean on. Then Alastor comes along and you tell yourself it's too good to be true and pushed him away to protect yourself from a heartache.
I was never meant to win I was never meant to win I was never meant to win Shut up!
Sidetracking, this is referring to you quitting your job as an informant for Lucifer. It's some time after you mastered the two powers you had but never used. You think it's too powerful and you're not worthy of it, so you hide it away. Then it went to thinking you're not fit to work for Lucifer, the King of Hell. Worse when you come to see him as a friend instead of your employer and superior being. It was easy to put a stop to it since Lucifer wasn't as persistent with keeping you by his side than Alastor. (haha this explained why I never put Lucifer as a love interest or show competition between him and Alastor)
Here's the reigns Take ahold of me Please don't let me go You do the talking Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed
This is where you basically accepted that Alastor was a yandere for you and let it progress. You know how it is with this type of character. You were just too damaged and desperate for something you longed for that you didn't care anymore. It was a good thing that Alastor saw how damaged you are by that self-harm you inflicted on yourself, better now than later when you were more firm with your feelings for him.
There's a dog barking right around the block And a big ol' whistle blow Run for it I'll keep em occupied for you Cause I love you, I love you so Left me hangin at the station But you'll be back for me soon
I'll switch the narrative here. This matches more for Alastor. This talks about the time when you sent him to the hotel to work (and leave you alone). A little interest that shouldn't be explored for or for you to personally be involved with. So Alastor does his best to keep the hotel matters at the hotel, never needing you to leave your home to investigate anything. Alastor knows you moved him out because you were caring too much and you're trying to stop it. He doesn't care, he wants you. But he'll be patient and give you time, he knows you'll be back for him. And boy was the wait worth it when he saw you fight for him.
Something tells me you aren't coming Guess that I'm truly doomed
When Alastor was nearly brought down by Adam and realized that his power wasn't enough (since it was limited by you). That moment, he was fully prepared to just teleport back to your apartment and stay there.
I'm 'bout to die Yet the only thing I find I'm worried about is you I'm 'bout to die Yet the thing on my mind seems to nearly be nothing but you
This is when, moments before your slumber, you told Alastor that you missed him and removed the rule that blocks his connection with you. You know you're not dying, maybe, but there was that slim chance. You also know that wouldn't be what Alastor thinks, and in a way, you reassure him.
I'm just a pawn in your game Not your partner in crime
You used to think that Alastor was using you for something. In fact, you looked for evidence to prove your theory. But the battles he started for you, the demons he killed for you, and the words that made up deovtion and promise to you, it all pointed against that. Isn't it all so weird?
You're slowly killing me And yet I don't mind (You were never meant to win) You're slowly killing me But please take your time
This is where you accepted that you're not gonna be able to push away Alastor anymore. So you take a back seat and let it happen. You were never meant to win against Alastor's love for you, you were never meant to push him out of your life. What Alastor's killing is the doubts and reason you have to push him away, it takes time to heal and for Alsator to find out about your past. So... You want him to take his time.
"Hey, Alastor." You smiled as you waved your hand at him to beckon him over.
"Yes, My Love?" Alastor skipped over, throwing away a demon's limb behind him comically which earned him a burst of carefree laughter from you.
In a swoft move, you pulled him to your level and gave him a butterfly kiss on the lips then stared into his eyes, "I love you, so dearly. Never leave me."
Alastor felt himself melting from your words and the plead he saw as his order to keep you forever. What ever were you thinking to suddenly say this? He won't question since you ended up demanding his attention and presence. So he smiled and nodded, "Of course. I'll never dream of leaving you. I love you too much for that to ever happen, My Beloved."
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