#as if they both aren't depressed fucks anyways lol

[occultradio]

4am on another night I'm with you When your broken ghost dies Look at me You look divine I stay with you When your broken ghost dies 🎶🎶🎶

#oc: viscera #oc: trace #shhhhh i know the song is sad #but it sounds pretty #as if they both aren't depressed fucks anyways lol #they were slow dancing :3

[mythbringer-mayhem]

GODDAMNIT

man, I was just scrolling and now I'm a goddamn Raidioapple shipper what the FUCK

Ok ok-

And now I'm going to elaborate just because.

I was expecting someone out there to ship Lucifer and Alastor the second I heard Hell's Greatest Dad. I mean- two people singing/arguing over being father figures? Sounds gay to me /pos. The internet sure does love it's enemies to lovers (me included. I'm hopless lmao.)

BUT. I have specifics for this ship.

I hate it when people just look at Alastor's aromanticism/asexuallity and just go "nah. I'm just gonna do it anyways." I used to headcanon Alastor as complete aroace in the sense that he just can't feel that way for someone (this is not meant to sound like "oh he can't love anyone :( he's incapable" I mean specifically a romantic/sexual relationship.) Then fucking short ass king of hell arrives, and Alastor just IMMEDIATELY chooses violence.

I didn't think much of that besides "oh that's a little interesting," and then I stumbled across Radioapple and had to take a double take. My brain needed to figure out how that would work, like how it would start, flourish, ineract, yadda yadda-

.....so now I consider Alastor Demiromantic-

(I'm still goddamn writing jeez-)

Read on if you like random people looking wayyyyyy too much into fictional characters.

Headcanon timeeeeeeeee

When Lucifer and Alastor first meet, Alastor is surprised Lucifer doesn't know who he is. Up to this point, everyone knows about the terrifying radio demon, so it must be a little weird for someone to be completely ignorant to his existence. Especially when that person should probably know the ins and outs of what's going on- ....because he's the fucking king of hell.

This is something new for Alastor. It made him curious. When you're curious, you try to learn more right? So, Alastor starts pushing Lucifer's buttons, seeing how he reacts. On Lucifer's end, Alastor's just being a smug asshole. However his true intentions are information on the esteemed oh-so-powerful king of hell. Maybe Alastor doesn't quite know where this fascination comes from, but regardless he wants to learn more. I can picture him progressively bothering Lucifer more and more (this is his unique way of getting to know him semi-discreetly)

As well as figuring out what ticks him off, Alastor would also probably passively learn things Lucifer likes. For instance, he finds out what Lucifer's favorite alcoholic drink is or something- bare with me- Let’s say Lucifer has a rough day, and it's very clear to everyone in the hotel. While he's frustrated in his own room, he hears a knock at the door. Answering it, he finds his aforementioned favorite drink. At this point, he wouldn't know who left it. But after a while, he'd be able to figure out it's Alastor through process of elimination. (This is inspired by a comic I saw! :))

Now we've got Alastor trying to discreetly be kind to Lucifer, and Lucifer is aware without his knowledge. And Lucifer would call him out for it lmao. Slowly, they'd start acting friendlier towards each other. It would take a long, long time though. The slowest slow burn of them all. They'd hang out more, do things, kick angel ass, have friendly banter, do stuff with Charlie. Untill Alastor finally realizes that he might have a crush on Lucifer. Though, I feel he'd take a while to fully figure that out, do some soul searching, maybe go to Rosie for advice.

Then they'd confess. Or they wouldn't lol. I can totally see them going on what is essentially a date, even though they just consider it "hanging out". It would be a quiet relationship. Something you'd miss if you aren't looking for it, but it is there. They both just need someone they can rest with in my opinion.

These ideas are probably sporadic and nonsensical- but I ✨️don't care✨️ I just needed to rant about the old timey deer man and the short depressed apple gremlin.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lucifer #hazbin lucifer #radioapple #shipping #rant post #headcanon #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel ship #Lucifer would have to use a box to give Alastor a kiss on the cheek. #Hazbin hotel show #hazbin hotel spoilers #That or Alastor would just pick him up and tease him about it #asexual #aromantic #aroace #arospec #aroace alastor #aroace character #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer headcanons #character dynamics

[drpepperbloodlinewrites]

: A Drop of Blood .

This was based on various Creepypasta AU's I saw, more specifically @crushedsweets and @necroromantics, and I decided "yo, that's fucking AWESOME- what if I made my own AU??"

BUT BEFORE READING MY INTERP, READ THEIRS BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM ARE FUCKING AWESOME WORKS OF ART !!

So, erm... anyway!

Hopefully, you guys end up fucking with it and I don't end up getting jumped in the comments or something lmao. That'd be a real woe-is-me situation, amirite??

Synopsis: A disease that never leaves once it gets ahold of you, a being so cold it makes you want to cry around it. An entity unforgiving with so much influence and so many pawns, where do they all lie in between it?

General Content Warning: darker versions of characters (whoopsie daisy), implied manipulation/gore/cannibalism- darker topics all around concerning characters. Depression/ Suicide heavily went into detail in Anneliese’s (OC) section.

Notes: I just wanted to generally post my interpretation/ The AU I made/ follow, it’s still a WIP, but I sincerely do hope you guys enjoy what I have so far. When I say relationships I don’t necessarily mean romantic, it can be platonic, etc. Besides, NOBODY ends up getting together in my AU simply because I do not want them to, lol. (Outside of Jane and her wife, Mary, ofc.)

And YES, we're posting this in chapters because this is already up to 15 pages long on Google Docs and I don't want to scare you guys away with my yap sessions. 😭😭

And YES, I added OC's- WHO'S STOPPING ME?! I CAN BE SHAMELESS IF I WANT TO ON MY BLOG! (Don't worry- if you aren't too keen on OC's, all their information is at the /very/ end, and you don't need to read it if you don't want to for the general gist of my AU/Interp.)

All of the Creepypastas/Proxies in this blog belong to their original creator, I am just adding my own take on the character/ HC's onto them and am NOT trying to endorse these characters as my own. This is all an AU I made with my spin-off of these characters who've been plaguing my mind since 2014ish. The only characters that belong to me are my own OC's.

If any Creepypasta creator pm's me and wants me to get rid of my interp of their character I will gladly do so, as the creator's wants/ boundaries outweigh my silly little AU.

Date Posted:   O4.1O.24

Date Updated: OO.OO.OO, (bound to change)

Chapters;

O1. The Operator

O2. The “Hosts”/ Proxies

O3. The “Influenced”/ Creepypastas

O4. Zalgo/ The Zalgoids (WIP, aka not touched on at all because I don't know where they fit into the plot/timeline yet.)

O5. Relationships

O6. OC's and their link-ins into the story

O7. Headcanons (sue me)

O1. The Operator

The Operator is a being like a disease located all around the inner depths of the woods- he doesn’t have a form (more on that later) and can infect people to work like mindless zombies underneath him due to him slowly gnawing/ eating at their brain like a parasite. He doesn’t /ever/ step outside of the inner woods, so therefore he relies on “hosts” (proxies in my interpretation) to wander outside the inner woods/ outside in general.

He chews away and eats at their brains until they don't know what life was like until they started working for him, memories disappearing day by day as you're only forced to move on and go forward and try not to focus on how you can barely remember to do simple tasks outside of killing.

He doesn't have a form since he's a disease, a parasite that causes you to slowly have avid hallucinations of him- but it's not actually him, just something your mind came up with to explain what's happening to you.

And just like any disease, there are stages to the “Operator Sickness.” (There's no name for the disease he gives you, so that's what Brian and Tim came up with and everyone stuck by considering they were the first of the group to be "influenced", nonetheless "hosts".)

You cannot contract the sickness out of nowhere/ just because you’re in the woods. The Operator doesn’t go for just run-of-the-mill people, who usually target those who are already emotionally vulnerable and already feeling homicidal. He does not target anyone else because he deems them as useless for his cause.

1- static begins to form around electronics in your house, occasionally you might see some shadows move in the corners of your vision and feel a slight loss of appetite over time, but nothing too extreme.

2- you start to not want to eat at all, paranoia slowly begins to seep into your being as you /swear/ your electronics are whispering something to you among the static. It’s bad, but not terrible to the point you’ve completely snapped, although your sanity is slowly deteriorating day by day. You begin to have nosebleeds occasionally, but not too frequent to the point it’s concerning.

3- you’re more snappy, you begin to hear voices in your head urging you to kill- paranoia has taken complete control over your life and you begin to see hints of /HIM/ forming among the static in your electronics. You begin to form hallucinations and swear to see/HIM/ despite there being nothing there. Nosebleeds and vomiting up blood are occasional, but not frequent in this stage. You also begin to have avid nightmares about The Operator, which are so vivid they can’t help but feel real.

4- nosebleeds and vomiting up blood nearly happen every single day, you see /HIM/ everywhere you go, in every corner of a room you’re in. The voices are speaking to you nearly every second of the day, you don’t want to eat but when you finally do you vomit it all up again. You hear /HIM/ speaking to you, motioning you to the woods, and urging you to “give in to your desires” of harming the people you love. There’s no going back once you reach this point, and if you don’t harm yourself or others- you’re going to be quick to go. He doesn’t mind killing those who are useless to him or provide him no gain, after all.

He is not kind, he is not a parental unit or a father figure to his “hosts” or “influenced”, he just sees them as people he can use for his benefit. He does not care about them or share empathy/ sympathy with them- he is a looming threat to anyone who dares to enter his woods, and more specifically his “hosts” since he influences them/ has more influence over them. At will he can psychologically target them/ torture them, breaking their mind into shreds as he forces them to /remember/ their past, only to make them forget, only for them to remember- a grueling process that can make anyone go mad. And the worst thing is, he can do it whenever and how long he pleases- never backing off until he feels that they’re sufficiently tortured, to make it a “lesson” out of all things if his “hosts” or anyone under his influence dare to go against him.

He talks in whispers, in a calm collected tone throughout your mind- but with cool intentions, a looming threat in every word he speaks which subconsciously influences you to hold fear to him, to feel the need to comply unless you wish to end up with a fate worse than death. 

In my interpretation, my “hosts” have either completely forgotten about their past, (Toby and Kate), or remember it- but not by much other than big events that happened. (Eyeless Jack, Tim/Masky, and Brian/Hoodie.) He’s a parasite that eats away at your brain and takes your memories with him in the process of doing so, he slowly deteriorates his “host’s” and “influenced” brains over time until they’re nothing but a shell of the person they once were. 

As I briefly mentioned earlier, he does not have a physical form due to being a parasite. He is more a hallucination caused by the psychological damage he does to those he affects, he does exist- but just not on a physical plane of thought and more so a psychological parasite that harms those it gets into contact with. Because of that + your deteriorating sanity, it's easy for him to make you hallucinate what he is + what he looks like even if he doesn't exist.

i.e. The Operator will be a good distance between Toby and him, and to the public eye, he doesn’t exist. But Toby will be talking to what he thinks to be The Operator in a psychologically tormented state causing him to have avid hallucinations, but nobody will be there.

The Operator does exist, but kind of hides away and doesn't go out to check on those he's tormenting unless he direly /needs/ to. (i.e. if Masky and Toby keep on messing up a very dire mission The Operator placed them under, then he goes out of his way to see them.)

Because of this, he doesn't really have a form or stick to one- usually busy on the move to try and infect as many people as possible.

Subpoint A: The Background

The Operator has been rumored to exist for hundreds of thousands of centuries, no one really knowing the origin for such an entity who can break those it comes into contact with- and those who were able to come into contact with it merely lost their memories of the interaction or didn't live to tell the tale.

Rumor has it that The Operator began in Latin America in Brazil, in 1897- found luring small children from their parents into the woods for them to never be seen again. But then it got more morbid, twisted, even as children came back from the woods never looking the same- not remembering anything at all about them and their parents, or the topics they were taught in school. They wouldn't smile about their favorite toy like they used to, instead they'd stare with a nonchalant face and would shrug their shoulders before going back to aimlessly staring at the woods.

Parents obviously got concerned and began to take their children to the doctor, where the only guess to do at the time was a lobotomy in a feeble attempt to "fix" the child.

Nothing would change and their child would only be /slightly/ altered, causing parents to grow steadily enraged and paranoid- all this was taken to a point where REDACTED and REDACTED led a rally to march into the woods and take down whatever had been harming their children.

REDACTED left with 12 men, all of them being fathers and marched into the woods- never to be seen again, one of the fathers being the only one to come out from the voyage nearing a whole month later.

He looked /terrified/, and paranoid and was seen to be acting erratic- covered in blood and insisting on things that weren't there, scaring away anybody who got too close. He ended up being thrown into the mental ward, and REDACTED took it upon themself to find the remaining men.

REDACTED left in the early morning and wouldn't come back until noon, bloodied and holding on by a thread- grabbing their notebook and drawing a simple stick figure with no face before dying shortly after.

And that's when the rumor began- that anyone who dared to get too close or too in-depth into the woods was like walking into death, and anybody who dared to do so would die.

Subpoint B: The Location

Rosswood Park is where The Operator is usually located, nobody knows why or how- but assumption is because the people of Brazil became so aware of him he couldn't infect anymore people, he had to go somewhere else to find new victims who hadn't even heard of him.

So what better then in North America in Alabama, in a park nobody would suspects an old parasite to be residing.

In a park where nobody from a movie-in-the-making could even assume something was wrong.

(OH YEAH, DIRECT LINK IN INTO MARBLE HORNETS BABY- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPINESS?! 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️)

He's a parasite that could roam between woods at will, especially the inner depths- but he just generally prefers RossWood Park because there's always a bunch of prey there waiting to be infected, and also because he generally has the most amount of "influence" there with all of his "hosts"/ "influenced" there.

If he's not seen in Alabama, he's usually seen in Maine for their looming forests that stretch out miles long.

"A drop of blood .

A twinge of thyme .

A charcoal feather .

A circle with an X .

And a sin to confess ,

All these lead us to an eternal abyss .

No eyes, always watching .

Can't run, can't hide, and can't scream,

Or else It'll take you . "

LAST WORDS OF REDACTED, DIED ON DECEMBER 15TH, 1897.

#creepypasta #slenderverse #creepypasta fandom #slenderman #Vladi-WritesStuff #marble hornets

[electrozeistyking]

I am so incredibly curious about N and Uzi before…. N had to kill her…

What was life like as a married drone couple? How did they do their wedding? How awkward was the conversation about having a kid?

I’m also curious about V in this AU, what are her thoughts on all that’s going on… N killing Uzi, N having a kid, N being fricken’ depressed… She was a broken individual in the canon, is she still just as broken here? Has she healed from all that the solver’s but her through?

sorry for the many questions, but as an obsessive individual you have crafted the perfect thing for me to obsess over and i am dying for more content lol.

p.s. are there more fics to come? Ik ya only have the one prologue rn, are more chapters on their way?

Hey, no need to apologize for being curious! I quite like the amount of questions! Tells me you're interested in the AU, y'know? Anyway, let me dig up some old notes!

These aren't the full notes, though. A lot was cut, especially if they involved spoilers and/or if they made this go on for too long.

Everything was as fine as it could possibly be on this frozen, toxic exoplanet. Hell, this stretch of fine-ness went on long enough that one of them decided to propose to the other.

And by one of them, I mean Uzi. 

This is based on some observations (aka the hand holding thing in Episode 6), but N was a major fucking dork when V asked him if he was thinking about proposing to Uzi — y’know, saying things like “I don’t know if I should” and “maybe she doesn’t want to go that far” and “maybe we’re fine as is?”

Then meanwhile Uzi’s been drawing up plans on how the hell she’s going to propose to this tall ass robot.

In the end, she kinda threw it all to the wind and decided to do so with no big events or plans or anything. She kinda panicked, though, so she said “Do you wanna marry me?” instead of “Will you marry me?”

N nearly short-circuited trying to say yes. He was kind of having a “Oh my goodness, this is happening????” moment and a “OH SHE DOES WANT TO GO THAT FAR” moment at the exact same time, so something may have literally sparked.

[...] there was a funny period of time where the duo kept very suddenly realizing they’re married, like it didn’t actually sink in until that moment. 

In fact, N exclaimed “oh my goodness” and leaned against something every time it occurred to him.

Unfortunately, the good fluffy times couldn’t last forever. 

You see, one way or another, our beloved robotic dorks somehow found themselves on the topic of having a kid. The conversation itself was fine, if slightly awkward at first (what with N being unsure he’d be good at parenting, anyway). However, just as they reached the peak of “hey, would they be more disassembler or more worker” jokes, Uzi started coughing. 

Which is not normal for any kind of drone. Unless they accidentally swallow something wrong, or if the air’s a bit too thick for whatever reason, drones don’t cough for seemingly no reason. And yet, despite how odd it was, both of them tried to brush it off.

In a brilliant moment of jumping to conclusions (even if they’re the right ones), Uzi realized that The Solver was trying to take over her body.

In a panic, N tried to help any way he could, but felt like he was doing nothing in the process. Uzi just kept getting worse, and every time they landed up empty-handed, the thought he was failing her stung even more. 

V tried to help as well, out of fear over what that thing would do if It took over (and because she did think of Uzi as a friend, even if she’d never admit it to her face).

When The Solver started hijacking her body during one such search to find a way to stop It, Uzi realized it was all over for her. 

Whatever this thing was — whatever It wanted — wasn’t good. And so, in a moment of desperation and panic, she came up with a plan to destroy It. Hopefully, if everything worked in their favour, It’d be gone once and for all.

Of course, its success banked on N’s cooperation. Since V split off from the duo this time, he was the only disassembly drone who could possibly carry it out. Predictably, he tried to decline at first, seeing as the plan was to kill Uzi and destroy her core.

However, when Uzi explained that this was the only way to get rid of this fucking thing, N reluctantly agreed. Despite being incredibly painful, he brought out his laser gun (which is what I think it is, shut up) and the couple had one last heartfelt goodbye.

But then, just as N went to shoot her, the laser turned an awful shade red he’s never seen before and started malfunctioning — something that’s supposed to rarely ever happen. N panicked, calling out Uzi’s name... right before the weapon exploded.

V felt the vibrations of the explosion from where she stood and immediately rushed to N and Uzi’s location. She assumed that something went wrong, but what she saw was not what she expected.

Uzi was dead. 

There was a Fatal Error message on her visor, as clear as day. She was in multiple pieces, with a hole in her chest right where her core was supposed to be — having most likely imploded, thanks in part to The AbsoluteSolver’s weirdness.

While N was alive, his body was in rough shape. He’d been split in two due to the blast, and his chest had been cracked wide open. Judging from how dark smoke billowed from where one of his hands should’ve been, something had gone completely wrong. 

But how? There was a very small chance their weapons could malfunction, and yet... what the fuck happened?

V chose not to dwell on it too long. N’s body wasn’t regenerating on its own fast enough for some reason, and he was losing a shit ton of oil at an alarming rate. 

Fuelled by pure adrenaline, V somehow managed to carry both of N’s halves and all of Uzi’s pieces back to the Outpost.

#Zeisty's Askbox #ghost drone au #tw death #tw major character death #tw injury #just in case tag #a lot of them anyway #souls is going to kick my ass (affectionately) #i'll reblog this with the actual answers at one point #this feels a bit bogged down to me already so

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

Emmet breaks spacetime to find his brother this, Emmet goes feral without his brother that (which you shouldn't take too far btw), where are the Ingo goes apeshit fics. Where are the fics where Ingo single handedly corrals the gods into getting him (and Akari, if she's tired of being in charge after having to save the world) home. This man is depressed one day about his memories and then his unovan religion socialization kicks in subconsciously and he goes 'no fuck this. I am going to get my memories back whether they comply or not' and that escalates into 'i am going home no matter what' and also 'i am going to be happy. I will make it so'. This man didn't get raised with the values of TRUTH and IDEALS for nothing. That shit sticks in your mind so much even if you don't personally think about it much. Have you seen how many times unovans mention truth or ideals in the games. They're important to them. And they're important to him.

I don't even mean that Ingo becomes a villain or anything. I just mean to say he sees a child befriending gods and goes 'hey what the fuck. If they can do that i can do something about my own situation as well for sure' and don't try to tell me the gods wouldn't listen to him. First off i believe Arceus and everyone else do love their creation, they just sometimes don't understand it. Second of all even if that wasn't true not all the gods agree with each other. If Arceus couldn't or didn't want to do anything he could just ask giratina. Or dialga and palkia. How would palkia help? They bring him to celebi. There's no way he wouldn't get celebis approval especially with palkias help.

What? The Pearl clan wouldn't let him go? Lmao what are you even talking about. Even if they didn't want him to leave the position of warden they value space very much. They'd want him to find his own before all else, and even if they didn't Irida would and her judgement is the most important one in the clan. I'm pretty sure she mentions wanting to travel, too, so she might join Ingo for a time as well.

Something is wrong in Unova upon his arrival? Impossible. Unova loves their Subway bosses and Emmet loves and trusts Ingo enough for that not to be a problem. Even if he didn't Chandelure would be proof enough of something off. i don't think she would just feel her trainer's soul disappear in a split second and not cause a commotion, she'd immediatly begin to freak out. Even without that you know what always fixes shit? Communication baby. This man will not let something go until they've properly discussed it. If the other's opinion is still the same after they've all explained themselves, then fine. But i guarantee you it won't be. If communication is difficult for some reason there is nothing that stops him from making it easier or doing it anyway. He can also go to a god again and have them help out of it's something he can't do anything about himself. Grudge? Gone. Death? Xerneas'd. Legal trouble? Over.

There is nothing that can't be fixed, especially in the pokemon world. It's going to be exausting, and probably very taxing on the mind, but it would be worth it so much. And there is no way Ingo and Emmet aren't both going to go to therapy anyway in the end.

Even if the gods couldn't fix it and send him home, they'd at least grant them both peace of mind. A letter, a picture, sent back or forward in time. With proof that it's real, obviously, and that yes it is god that brought this to you, so there's no misunderstandings. And don't tell me they can't do that, you've seen the arc phone. A space time distortion, conveniently timed on both sides, courtesy of dialga and palkia. They're going to get to be happy eventually, whether that means moving on or being reunited. Though there's like no way they don't get reunited lol

#truth -> wants to know the truth about himself #ideals -> will #willpower #determination #whatever you want to call it #alternatively he could track down volo and forcefully redeem him so he tells him all his secrets and finds celebi #or befriend giratina #i mean whoevers fault it is for him being there they owe him #submas #ingo #emmet #warden ingo #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #ingo and emmet #arceus #dialga #palkia #giratina #celebi #pla #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon legends #pokemon arceus #subway boss nobori #subway boss kudari #subway bosses #tagging all this because while it started as a demand for determined Ingo who wants to see and make sure his brother is ok #it just became a submas reassurance post #and i want everyone to see. if i can reassure even 1 person with this i will be very happy. i know i'd like to hear this from others myself

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Squealed with excitement when I saw your post saying you were watching zom 100. Are you going to read the manga? Also please make a post sharing your opinions of it. I literally love reading your rants about manga and anime, positive and critical. I frequent the "sloot bitches about things" tag all the time lmao

Holy shit, I only thought ppl came for my smut, I'm glad you like reading me complain about shit and rant lol

The manga is on my list but my backlog of stuff I want to check out is stupidly long, so...I get to it when I get to it ig

Anyway my thoughts on the anime

In a world where zombie apocalypse fiction is largely bleak and depressing, it's so nice to see a series go "Fuck it, in the post apocalypse, do what makes you happy." It frames the zombie outbreak and breakdown of society in an optimistic way, and I think a lot of people need that. In a culture that's so collectivist and so stressed out, that cultural shift in modern Japan to prioritizing your own happiness and mental well-being really makes me happy.

The animation and especially the COLORSSSS are so nice. There are a few shots where corners had to be cut, but given how fucked the anime production was in terms of schedule I'm more than willing to put up with it. The zombies and the gore having these saturated paint colors instead of just being red is so nice, and it makes the Zom100 zombies stand out from other series.

I could talk forever about the colors in this series. I've never seen a zombie apocalypse that looked so bright and poppy and FUN. If you haven't seen anything from this show, just watch the opening and ending you won't regret it.

I also love shows that have an optimistic message in a bleak fucked up setting. Like if Berserk is grim optimism and struggling against brutality and hardship, Zom100 is bright optimism in a dead landscape. It's fluorescent paint sprayed and sloshed on grey corpses and cracked concrete, and I love looking at it. Like LOOK at this!

Beatrix is best girl, I accept no arguments to the contrary. She's a German weeb who wears samurai armor and wants to restore Japan's natural beauty, infodumps about hot springs history, and is just so fun. Everything in this series is just so fucking fun.

Kencho is hot as fuck and if you like himbos, watch this series for him. He wants to be a comedian. He's a superhunk with a heart of gold. He's working on a comedy bit where he butt-chugs udon noodles. I want him so bad I'm shaking.

Shizuka is a new inspiration for my One Piece OC Minerva, since their color designs are similar and both go from coldly logical to willing to follow their hearts and have fun. Though girl, wear some more protective clothing. You're in a sports bra and leggings and a hoodie, Beatrix at least sometimes wears the samurai armor and Akira had the diving suit for a while.

Obviously I fuck with Kanta on concept alone, and his VA (same as Bakugo and Ghiaccio) understands his assignment. A bitter NEET who wants to fuck things up only to realize he's collapsed under his own loneliness and just needed friendship, and realized too late that he essentially sabotaged his own happiness. Also hearing him cry pathetically in the last few episodes was low-key...activating my almonds a bit 😳

Given how problematic the production and release was, I'm gonna be disappointed but not surprised if there aren't further seasons. Still, they end it on a positive note that makes it a satisfying "ending" if it never gets animated beyond that. Besides, there's always the manga! I'm gonna link the op and Ed because I love them so much.

Also interesting fact, but this anime got recommended to me...by one of my sixth graders??? She's a huge otaku and I love that she's comfortable around me enough to nerd out (in rapid Japanese I don't always understand lol) bc normally she seems like a bit of a loner, but...madam you are 12. Kencho is showing hole on a regular basis, one of the villain dudes is an Ugly Bastard who has the goal of forcing his tongue down a girl's throat. Where are your parents 👀

#sloot's essays #sloot watches #.zom 100 #zom 100

[theinkedfoxsl]

🌻to 🦷please

Ask Game Here!

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@kkomaism i guess? I talk to most of my friends on a regular basis besides him so 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Both! 🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I'm very open about my personal lore so that people know they aren't alone and that the terrible things that happened to them ARE terrible and they are allowed to be hurt by it. 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

Depression lol 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

All my favs r ocs so most of the shit I say is canon or ends up becoming canon??? Anyways some love to Ice Star though because Honoré didn't learn sign language for Lux, but he did get leagues better at it- 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

Talk to me about my ocs or yours! Or just message me. I'm honestly not that scary. 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Moving, I'm engaged to the prettiest german man ever, and tomorrow is taco tuesday and im getting tacos 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

A message I sent to the guy who retraumatised me outlining why his actions hurt me and that he should learn to have more respect for people's boundaries as he goes through life. 🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I fucking hate Zhongli, he's a stupid cunt who uses his age as a means of projecting wisdom he doesn't utilise. 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I'm a horror novelist first and foremost. So a lot. A lot. 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

my personal wisdom is don't let fried foods escape u just because some nutritionist calls it bad. all food is valuable. amen

[perexcri]

I’m your biggest fucking fan I literally can not stop reading your ficus (which may have made sleep deprived and a depressed byler) pls, pls do you have any more byler fics to read? Thx ily

ahhh hello!! thank you so much, though i am sorry for the sleep deprivation and depression :') make sure to take care of yourself first and foremost bc the fics aren't going anywhere :D

um so i feel bad but idk what exactly you mean by more byler fics,,,like idk if you mean from me or recs in general, so i'll answer both ways!

according to ao3, i have about 516k words of almost pure byler fic posted, which is about all i have :D i have some wips ofc and some abandoned works wasting away in google docs, but everything else is there! i'm also always working on other stuff ofc. i even wrote some today in a notebook even though i'm out of town for a family function :D

but if you're looking for recs from my own stuff, i have a few to give! there's a weird inverse correlation between how much i like a fic and how much attention it receives tho, so these are actually some of my least popular works lol. i love the writing in them tho and they're the ones i'm most proud of, so here ya go:

empty rooms, shuttered and dank

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon

a flower that resembles you

drowning on rooftops

come to me again (in the cold, cold night)

and as far as fics from other people go, i've recently done a couple of rec asks that can be found here and here. also feel free to check my bookmarks on ao3! i've got all kinds of stuff tucked away there

anyway! idk if that helps at all, but i appreciate the kind words and that you like my writing! just be sure to take care of yourself :] 💜💜💜

#ask #fic rec #the real april fool's prank wasn't the rick roll but me actually self-promoing for once

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

this might seem a little random lol, but what do you think of the chair and dangina parellels, dan and blair both seemed to be attracted to georgina and chuck because they could be mean and not have to be nice all the time.

i love any & all parallels! i think that's interesting & would be a very grim kind of arc, if georgina ends up making dan feel as ~tied down to her as chuck made blair feel. (i even kind of reference this in my fic "just a yellow lemon tree," in which dan's married to georgina. there's a conversation in chapter 2 in which dan asks blair why she left chuck and the parallel is meant to be implied there.) that said, from what we saw in canon, i wouldn't say it's the exact same. there's scope for the evolution of dangina to get to a chair level, but we're not quite there yet. lemme elaborate:

you know blair's whole speech in s4 about "what's mere happiness in the face of this great love we have?" to chuck? that... that's kind of the first thing that comes to mind for me when i think about chair. chuck & blair's whole dynamic is fucky because they're both so obsessed with an image of each other - blair wants a big romantic love that's all cinematic and exciting, and what's more blockbuster than good girl gone bad and her love fixing the heart of a local ruffian? chuck on the other hand wants this infallible caretakery woman to an extent where it feels like a replacement of his missing mother figure, and he doesn't want blair to Leave him so he'll do anything and everything to keep her there.

honestly more than dan & georgie, c/b reminds me of serena/georgina. we don't see serena before her party girl days but i've always imagined georgina to be the major "bad influence" who got S into many of the dangerous situations she was in, and i could see serena being into georgina because of how georgie dared to defy all societal expectations.

that said, i like the idea of unhealthy dangina as a sad ending for dan. where he ends up stuck with her and she's all he has left, and she's obsessed with the goodness in him, and he's with her because who else would have him? i think that specific dynamic/ that type of endgame would definitely parallel chuck/blair.

i know i'm not the only one who's into this, back when the fandom was more active many others shared this headcanon, i think. i've read a lot of really good dangina fic that has that sort of depressing, defeated, fucked up vibe to it, but right now the only one i can recall is this gem by secondaudrina.

anyway, i hope that answers you!! i think canonically the way c/b & dangina are, they aren't on the same intensity of fuckery, even if there is that common thread, because chuck & blair are kind of ... worse. but there is scope for that evolution to happen. like dangina have the seed for that kind of dynamic. chair is already watering the whole damn garden of it. you know what i mean?

#i hope this answers you! #meta #chair #for tags #anti chair #also for tags #dangina #anon #i actually like chair's dynamic a lot. i just don't like canon #like i think if it were done in this tragic gothic daphne du maurier fucked up romance classic lit way... #it would've been soooo good #gg writers could never #but chuck & blair are just very tragic and i love canon complaint fics #in which we can SEE the impact of chuck's chuckiness and blair's idealism on blair's well being and their dynamic as a whole #anti chuck

[wolfofcelestia]

I did the tourabu sorter with strictly no ties. My tastes changed a little bit since 6ish? years ago, but I think I still gravitate to the same swords

There were some tough match ups but I eventually started picking swords by thinking about who I'd like to hang out with more. Some swords I like were pushed down because of that but I think my ranking would also change from day to day

Anyway, here's my top 15 because I get really meh about them after that

15: Chougi

Yeah I really don't have much to say about him except that I appreciate his outfit lmao. A little funny that I like the sus Osafune better than some of the actual Osafunes.

14: Hasebe

I have a soft spot for him but he's really dropped in rank over the years because... I just don't think he'd be very fun to hang out with lol

Like yeah, in a life or death situation, of course you'd want him around. He is a huge ego boost for anyone he calls his master. He'd massacre thousands for you and ask who you want him to kill next. He'd burn down entire cities just to keep you safe (or just to impress you).

He is a good sword, a good servant, and a good killer. But if you want a friend? Is he capable of being just a friend? Or would even just thinking about being on the same level as you be too much for him?

13+11: Chigane and Chiyogane

I'm grouping these two together because they both grew on me during the seaside regiment event, the event I came back to tourabu for because of Jikkyuu. They both have very chill vibes and soothing voices and I appreciate them both. I'm surprised they're this high up though

12: Tonbokiri

Yaris aren't my thing but I can appreciate Tonbo's personality and voice. A big teddy bear. Yeah.

10: Kousetsu

If his personality wasn't so depressing, he'd easily be in my top 5 purely because his voice. Because. Fuck. FUCK.

The only other time I've ever heard Satou use such a breathy, whispering, purring voice for one character so frequently is---

9: Kanesan

Honestly he's in my top 10 because of gameplay. He is my strongest uchi because tourabu decided to barely improve the 2-slot uchis after kiwame. And Kanesan is the only 3-slot uchi I like. He's really the only uchi I use now tbh

I had a brief stint in the Hakuouki fandom so him being tied to Hijikata makes him kinda familiar to me but I'm honestly not attached to him as some of the others in my top 10.

8: Kogi

Who doesn't want to be princess carried by a huge fox guy? His voice is very soothing and that feral switch is also a huge bonus. No real attachments to him but I think he's neat.

7: Sadachan

A little mini Shoku but with more energy all around. If I were a saniwa, he would probably be the only tantou I would actually like hanging out with ngl

6: Kikkou

Honestly, I like his pre-kiwame outfit better than his kiwame outfit. The hexagon pattern on his cape makes him look futuristic. I'm sad he lost that and also his black shirt in his kiwame awakening pose. As for his personality, I think he'd be fun to hang out with. A little much, but fun. So like, I could hang out with him for 15 minute intervals maybe. When push comes to shove, I appreciate that he can be really earnest too.

5: Akashi

If I had to pick the most relatable sword, it would be him. He would be the ultimate literal netflix and chill partner, no funny business because... that sounds like a lot of work. I bet he'd enjoy watching you on his lap tho. I like his design too, all except for those weird random straps over his chest? What's that about?

4: Fuku

Honestly, he's been 3rd for a while. All up until like 2 weeks ago but we'll get to that.

When Fuku was released, I lost my shit. Shoku finally got a brother after all these years and it was fucking Belial. I Lost. My Shit. Pretty sure I hadn't touched the game in about 3 years when Fuku came out and I came back for the event... and left right after. I may have stopped playing but I wasn't going to let Shoku's only brother get away from me.

His voice being almost identical to Belial is a double-edged sword for me though. Objectively, I do like it, I do appreciate it, and I do find it hot. On the other hand, I can't unhear Belial and it's hard for me to separate their personalities.

I'm still not over this. Belial ruins everything (affectionate) even when he's not in this universe.

As for Fuku personality? Honestly, I'm still trying to pin down my headcanon Fuku's personality but it's been hard for me beCAUSE OF A CERTAIN FALLEN ANGEL. My image of him right now oscillates between comic relief and someone who's pretty serious. But I feel like it would be fun to tease him because he would blush pretty easily, similar to Shoku.

His association with Nihongou isn't really my thing (see Tonbo's entry) and his former master isn't someone I'm really familiar with, but he's from the Sengoku period so he's still in my range of familiarity.

Out of the three Mitsutadas, Fuku definitely doesn't click as well with me as the others. But I would choose him over most other swords without a second thought.

Nah fuck this dude.

He was never really a top favourite for me before. I only saw him as the one waki in an adult body, someone who says sussy things, and has a ghost girlfriend. Then one day after Jikkyuu pulled me back into the game, I picked Nikkari's name out of a hat to include in my story. And then he goes and takes over the story and fucks my very first saniwa oc three times. Really. My first born child. FUcking RUDE.

Him vs Fuku was probably the hardest matchup in the sorter and he would probably share the 3rd spot with Fuku if I had allowed ties. And maybe Fuku would win out over him on some days. But this is where they both are atm

Honestly, I'm surprised it took 8 years for me to see Nikkari as one of my favourites because he checks a lot of my boxes. First and foremost, this guy fits into a horror story like no one else. He comes equipped with his own ghost! Where the hell was I looking? (oh right, at that guy at #1)

The fact that he drops innuendos like candy is usually something I go for too but it's only taken me until now to appreciate him. Sometimes I think his voice is just pretty normal, but then I hear him say something a certain way and it just short-circuits my brain

I think the main thing I never really got into is his outfit tbh. I like the ghost robe cape thing but the rest of his outfit is kinda plain. I do like his pre-kiwame outfit better than his kiwame outfit though. Still, considering he's up against the Mitsutada brothers, he's doing pretty good being so high on my list lol

A bab.y

You know how I lost my shit when Fuku was released? Multiply that by 500 and you got my reaction just seeing Jikkyuu's teaser. There was absolutely no mistaking that a new Mitsutada was here. Him sharing the same artist as Shoku was clear from the start. And even before I knew anything about Jikkyuu, I knew I didn’t stand a chance

Jikkyuu, an Oda Mitsutada. No, THE Oda Mitsutada. Fuck me

And the best part? His personality is so fucking cute??

His outfit is on fucking point. Absolutely perfect outfit. Fucking love it. I can’t pick out a single thing I don’t like about it. Holy moly, have you seen this guy? The veins on his arms though jesus chRIST. I don’t know what that extra black band below his glove is but fuck I could gnaw on his forearm for hours. And his rolled up sleeves?? Call me a fucking ambulance. It’s like the tourabu character designers did research on Shoku fans and took the best parts of his design and gave them to Jikkyuu. And it fucking worked because they got me ON. SIGHT.

He’s gentle, he's kind, he's serene, he’s babby. But oh fuck get him on the battlefield, push him enough, and the next thing you’ll see is hell staring down at you

He is so similar yet so different to Shoku, and this was an easy way in to make me instantly like him before learning to like him for who he is. His memory is shit but he hopes you like him? DON'T WORRY MY MEMORY IS ALSO ABSOLUTE GARBAGE

Jikkyuu ticks all my cute, hot, and horror boxes. The fact that the very first line the world heard from him was something that sent all swordsani fans into space??? We're getting a new Mitsutada who's this hot and also has flirtatious tendencies??? This guy took over my brain for at least a month straight after that, resulting in me coming back to both tourabu and writing... and accidentally writing myself into a rabbit hole that I am currently stuck in

The only thing that keeps me from putting him at like rank 1.5 is his voice. It really isn’t my usual type but I was definitely surprised his seiyuu could suddenly pull out Jikkyuu’s horsekeeping lines. Those nearly fucking killed me. His scouting line is so dreamy, I melt every time I hear it. I want him to read me a bedtime story every night. But the sounds he makes when he's injured?? ohhHHHH BOYYYY

As of right now, Jikkyuu firmly holds the number 2 rank. The only other sword that could possibly knock him down a rank would be a future Mitsutada. But that future Mitsutada would have to be aiming at several of my weak points for me to like him more than Jikkyuu. Even if they’re not for me, I still want to see more of them. Give me all the Mitsutadas you can throw at me, tourabu

Damn. Who's that hot guy?

What to say about him? He's lived in my head rent-free for 8 years, was the reason why I moved to Japan for a year, changed the way I think about a lot of things, and is just overall The Main Husbando. Out of all the favourite characters in all the fandoms I've invested time in, Shoku would stand out way up high on top of that list

He's usually so calm and collected but his personality switches to this loud, chaotic, fun-loving guy when he's on the battlefield. Look at him out there, cutting down enemy after enemy with a smile on his face. Boy's having the time of his life chopping off a head here, an arm there. Let him have his fun :)

He's caring and doesn't let you forget about keeping up good habits. He may seem vain at first but his kiwame death line? That line? The first and only time he ever calls you aruji? That fucking line. After everything else he's ever said just shows how much you really meant to him. FucK

I could talk more about his voice but I would need about 20 more pages to do so. I could fucking live in his mouth, let's put it that way. He could go from hot and tempting to so fucking soft and caring I'm gansldfkasjdfa dlnjgsf HHHHHHH

Even though he is the little brother in his family, he will always be the big brother of the citadel. You know he's the one everyone turns to for all sorts of situations

He'd be the person you'd want with you everywhere because he could help you with everything. Chores around the house? Absolutely. Cooking together would so fucking cute. Seeing him in his element, completely immersed in it and having fun. Have you heard his laugh? Baby angels would weep tears of pure joy.

Shopping for clothes? You bet your ass you'd want him with you. With his help, you'd come out looking like a star. Grocery shopping? Working together to get all the ingredients for tonight's dinner!! Getting his opinion on which tomatoes to get??? asldkfajsdflkn

Some loser bothering you while walking down the street? Get ready to fall in love again because he'd handle it so smoothly. And if things get physical, he'd shut that down instantly. He doesn't have the highest attack stat out of all the tachis for no reason.

Hanging out? What a fucking soothing cuddle buddy. Get too close? He'd enjoy teasing you and seeing your reactions because he knows your weak spots ("Whatever defenses you have are useless!"), but turn the tables on him and you might end up with a blushy mess on your hands if you catch him off guard. In the bedroom? I am stopping here.

I A M STOPP ING HER E.

#touken ranbu #I'm going to tag my first two because they're not going to surprise anyone #shokudaikiri mitsutada #jikkyuu mitsutada #the post in which I return to my tumblr roots and fangirl over my faves and curse in every other sentence #my top 3 is basically FMK #swordblogging

[phantom-miria]

Omg, yes i agree with everthing you said! I really don't necessary think that most people hate on f!robin just because they're misogynistic, they're most likely just other queer people that are feeling "vindacted" that IS finally acknowledging m!chrobin (and like, I get it! IS has a horrible track when it comes to mlm rep, the fact that m!chrobin isn't a thing in canon and the way they handled the queer male options in 3H is super annoying so I do sympathise with them a lot!) I just wish they wouldn't discount their hatred on her? IS bullshit and homophobia is not her fault?

And yeah, we have this amazing high fantasy world full of dragons, magic and trime travel but queer people having a child is where people draw the line? And why do they feel the need to go on posts of people having fun to remind them that "it's not canon"? I swear that those people love to do that with queer ships, is so annoying. I had this terrible experience recently with some f!chrobin shippers and idk I just felt like they were disgusted at the ideia of Chrom being bi from the way they talked, I hated so much.

Anyway, I'm really sorry for the rant and for reminding you of all the fandom bullshit that you were trying to ignore. I'm just so tired of all of this and I feel like no matter what I say about this anywhere else, I will get called of something bad. You felt like a person that would understand where i was coming from and you did, thank you for your time and understanding! Have a good day/night.

I definitely agree - I see how we got here, and I have sympathy, but a lot of it dries up the longer I'm in fandom and I get worn down by people swerving all over the place to take it out on F!Robin or people who did enjoy what we got in canon, I think. And there's also been a weird narrative about her being favored, which I think is extremely untrue if you look at the history of their inclusion in Smash and the trailer, then the amiibo, then the Fates cameo, then Warriors, etc etc. He always gets the lion's share in crossover content and it's really fucking depressing to people who like her!

FEH was the only spot she really had anything "over" him (and even then it was uneven, with him being available at launch with a summoning movie while she was relegated to grail unit added later) and now after an admittedly big wait his legendary here, with a bunch of shippy hints and getting to be himself in his legendary, plus he got the duo I'd give my eyeteeth to have her in, etc. I really think he was always doing fine as far as official rep, and Engage DLC just came along to confirm the same old pattern of "when only one is picked for representing the character in a crossover, it's him". Officially he has historically done well outside of giving nods to shippinness with Chrom, so I think it is both great and understandable that people are so excited about it now. Of course it feels vindicating! But I don't see the reason to sneer at other fans for what they enjoy or their hopes or personal disappointment about a female avatar not being allowed to officially rep the character, lol.

I really can't understand why people see those fans celebrating and decide they have to ruin it. As if those fans aren't already accutely aware of the fact that it isn't canon in the original game. As if that isn't the reason they're so happy in the first place? It is truly such an unwarranted dick move.

I'm really sorry to hear about that recent experience, anon! I love bi Chrom with all my heart - unfortunately I don't talk about it so much because I am an OTPer who's ended up unfathomably annoyed about the male player character, so I only really end up engaging with ship content for him with a female character most of the time, and so functionally the fact that I headcanon him bi ends up not coming up super often. But I love that idea and am extremely attached to it. There are dozens of us! Dozens!! Especially as a queer woman. It's important to me that they are both bi in my head.

I'm unfortunately not surprised to hear that people reacted with disgust - I remember that from my days in DA fandom :( but it never gets easier. It just makes it feel like there's no real place, because the people who like the version you do suck, but if you don't like the other version as much and those people think you suck for liking the one you do, it's just kind of well...here I am, then. Lol.

No need to apologize, anon, I like talking about this kind of thing! I think I'm just worried that I've been spending too much time doing so recently and my friends are going to be absolutely sick of it, lol. And realistically it is better for me to spend less brainspace on people in fandom being shitty, probably? But I think it's good for you to hear that other people in fandom feel the same way and have problems with a lot of different corners, like you do. I hope you have a good night too! There are people out here who just want to ship and have a good time. It's not all bullshit, even if it feels like it sometimes, or even if you end up focusing on it a lot like me. <3

[authoralexharvey]

For the Tarot Ask: The Magician, The Sun, and Three of Wands

Thanks for the ask! Answering from this list.

01. THE MAGICIAN: SPARK OF MAGIC (What inspired you to write your novel?) 

The answer changes a bit depending on which book we're talking about, all varying levels of cool. Sorry, I'm about to talk a lot.

For TOOD, the biggest catalyst was, well, a few things. I was in a queer lit class in college that I absolutely hated tbh. For my final, I made a short zine/collection? about the nonbinary experience from my perspective and one thing I included in that was a short story called Morning Afters, which was about two people who ended up being the main characters of TOOD. The MC, Quinn, is someone whose body changes every day, and they are trying to leave their fuck-buddy's house before they wake up but end up being discovered and the two bond over their different gender experiences.

I also had really nasty beef with this one cishet indie author dude who considered himself the savior of the gays and said queer people are so bad at writing their own books he has to do it for them--yes, really--so I wrote TOOD to spite him because he's a shitty man and a shittier author.

Anyway.

TWEfA was born out of my love of the Soulsborne franchise and also from the cannibalized corpse of an older novel I wrote a very long time ago. When I was like. Fifteen. A lot has changed since then. Maka and Dakota have stayed the most true to their original selves and I kinda... rebuilt everything around them. I'm sure some elements of it were also inspired by Madoka Magica. In fact, I guarantee some of it was.

Little Vicious Minds came about because I was playing Skyrim and am very mad still about the limited options of what you can do with/to Maven Black-Briar and so I resolved to make a story about someone who decides to destroy her criminal empire. And it kinda,,, blossomed from there.

Lilium was really a love letter to my depressed teenaged self because I wrote it originally in high school when everything fucking sucked. I see myself a lot in both of the main characters in different ways. It's also about your dead brother coming back as a demon which I have no real experience with so. *shrugs*

ASMLP started as a random thought because I love spellbooks and think they aren't used enough in fantasy so I resolved to write a book that required spellbooks and then I... made a whole magic and college system around that and it kind of evolved from there.

BTMS started as me wanting to write vampire erotica and became... very much not that.

I could go on. It really does just depend.

19. THE SUN: POSITIVITY (What is your greatest writing strength or skill?)

I like to think I'm good at dialogue and also at making people fucking sad. Highest praise I think I've gotten yet is a comment/review I got about Lilium about how well I got across the sense of loss and grief one of the MCs endures--and this is before I had lost anyone in my life to the inevitability of death. I don't want like. Instagram-worthy prose or anything but I would like for someone to feel like I just ripped their heart out of their chest and presented it to them when they're done reading, you know? And I think I'm pretty great about that so far.

66. THREE OF WANDS: FORESIGHT (Do you know what your book cover is going to look like? Do you have a color in mind?)

I don't have to imagine for ASMLP, because I already have one! You can see it here. As for my other works.... mmmm...Back when I wrote on Wattpad, I had to have a kind of idea for a cover because you were shooting yourself in the foot if you posted books without covers there. But since leaving there... well, not entirely. I also haven't gotten as far/thought as far ahead as I have with ASMLP--and in truth part of me buying the cover was to give myself an incentive to finish the fucking book. So far has been kind of working. I'm trying to finish by March lol

I haven't thought about covers for anything else yet. I should start doing so for BTMS since I want to publish it before or after ASMLP so we'll see. My main rules about covers is I vehemently refuse to have people on the cover. I hate it. Loathe it. The shadowed hands for ASMLP is as close to having people on the cover as I'm willing to get. I want my covers to have fancy typography or to make a focal point of important objects. I will settle for nothing less.

Thanks again for the ask and sorry for talking your ear off!

#alex has the floor #long post #asmlp #btms #lilium #tood #twefa

[outlustings]

Hello there! I've been enjoying every little bit you wrote about Eddie, he's my absolute favourite in the outlast games, your characterization of him is spot on and everything is just fhshdhsjdh

If I may request a thingie, I'd love to see your take on a pregnant psychiatrist assigned to help Eddie, and him being very delusional on who the father is, and thinking it's his

(bonus points if he asks to feel the baby kick)

Thank you so much for what you do! Have a lovely day!

(ok so this got out of hand. you said "your take" and my take is sad and awful and i hate it lol. have 5k words of it.

this is not a cutesy story this is choppily written angst. my film studies teacher would call this high melodrama but i'd personally like to call it me trying to turn my depression into a contagious disease.

reader is referred to with she/her pronouns. reader also needs a hug, nothing goes well for reader. lots of emotional neglect and sadness and everything. reader is alone in the world lol. enjoy?)

×

This new job was making you tear your hair out. Interviewing and offering emotional support to insane men wasn't exactly new to you, no, not really, but trying to act calm around a serial killer? That was tough. Not to mention that the moldy, cold building was filled to the brim with these violent people - but for some reason, as a cruel test from the universe, you were assigned to the worst one of them all. Eddie Gluskin. Case number 196. That number would haunt you in your dreams.

Things were going a bit rocky with your spouse at home, but you chose to blame it on the stress of you working in a place like Mount Massive. The reason why he slept on the couch most nights or played net poker into the early hours of the morning on the computer, gambling your savings away - it was just tiredness. Yes. The move had been hard on him. And your new job was hard on him, right? Who the fuck wanted to live in Colorado anyway?

Not to mention all the nights that you spent up and about your tiny apartment, trying to ignore your partner's fist slamming into the desk for the fourth time that night, leafing through past interviews and files upon files of him. Gluskin.

All of those pictures of mutilated women, all of the BDI tests and brain scans and newspaper clippings. Insane prescriptions for sedatives and doctors' handwriting about his medication causing hypersexuality. You spent many sleepless nights thinking about this man. You hadn't even met him yet.

Another thing that drove you practically insane was people grilling you constantly in the breakrooms.

Oh, you know, we're just both so tired from work, and you know, we gotta pay that mortgage, you heard yourself explain to your coworkers for the fifth time in the same month.

We really don't have the energy to focus on kids yet. But you guys are looking great!

But you knew that their nods and smiles as they cradled their tea cups on top of their baby bumps were a front that concealed their pity for you.

Why aren't you pregnant yet, doctor? Why don't you get knocked up, doctor? Why, doctor, I thought you'd be the kind to have kids early? Why don't you come over for Michelle's baby shower, doctor?

It was driving you insane. You weren't safe, not even in the breakroom. You took up a habit of eating your lunch in an empty toilet stall, away from your coworkers.

And then there was Eddie Gluskin.

You hated him. Hated how his eyes wandered down your body as you tried talking to him, hated how his leg brushed up against you underneath the table, how his foreamrs strained against his handcuffs, how his hands ached to wrap around your neck. His sly grin, the way he talked to you, so lightly, as if nothing was wrong. He divulged frustratingly little about anything. All he wanted to talk about was you, himself, and the supposed chemistry between the two of you.

"I knew ever since I first laid eyes on you - you, you would be the one," he'd said once, leaning back in his chair, inspecting your blushing face with a grin.

It was starting to make even the supervisors uncomfortable. They amped up security, for your sake.

What you didn't like was him being restrained - you'd never been comfortable with the extreme measures at Murkoff - but what you liked even less was how entirely convinced he was about your relationship being something other than professional. And it never changed, not even as the weeks went on.

He was talking to you as if you were his dutiful housewife, catching his coat as he shrugged it off after an exhausting day at work before taking his hand and leading him to a plate of some horrific jello slop. The vivid image of yourself in turquoise heels and an apron flashed before your eyes. Marion Ryan on the radio. You almost smiled. This was all so, so stupid.

You shook your head slightly, trying to focus on his words, nodded solemnly before cutting off his monologue.

"Eddie, are you aware of where you are right now?"

He turned his gaze to you. Confused. Maybe even a little offended. But you had to know if he was delusional - maybe regressing into a previous life. Suddenly, in your mind, the lady with the turquoise heels had no face. You wondered who she could've been. Someone else?

"Pardon?" he huffed out, his thick brows knitted together. You had interrupted him so rudely.

You swallowed.

"Are you aware of where you are right now?" you repeated, slower this time.

"Yes? Why'd you ask?" he gave a small laugh, incredulous. Like your question was stupid.

"You seem awfully casual with me," you blurted out, smirking slightly as you watched his cheeks blush faintly. So, so faintly.

Eddie rolled his eyes.

"You won't even let me tell you about my day? Like we're strangers," he muttered under his breath, "Stupid bitch."

You frowned.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing," he waved his hand as best as he could in his handcuffs, assumed another casual, charming grin, his eyes glinting dangerously.

Your brain was scrambled. What the hell was going on? You sighed.

"I'm going to let you tell me about your day - but don't call me that," you eyed him, clicking your pen and pressing it against your notepad, ready to cuss him out in an email later.

"Call you what?"

"Anything that you're trying to call me - I know we -..."

"Darling?"

"That too. Just -..." your eyes flicked to your notes, where you began scribbling something.

"Did you enjoy last night?"

You lifted your head up, quirking your brow at him as he grinned at you.

"Last -...? What?" you asked, stopping your pen mid-sentence, staring at him, the way his eyes narrowed and his grin melted into a smirk.

"Try to remember, my love," Eddie leaned closer, lowering his voice into a conspiratorial whisper as you heard his handcuffs clink softly underneath the table, "How I fucked you. The way you were begging for it, little minx."

You blinked at him, heart sinking to your stomach as you felt cold, numb waves flood through your extremities.

"No. That never happened."

Your throat felt suddenly very dry. You watched his eyes rove over your body as he smiled, cocking his head to the side.

"Don't worry, I won't tell them," he winked and gestured towards the two-way mirror to your left, "I know you're a little shy about these things, but it's only natural."

You huffed out a laugh, regretting it immediately as you saw his eyes glint and flick to your lips.

"Right. Okay then," you tried to compose yourself, "I'm sorry, maybe you dreamt it. Because it definitely didn't happen, Eddie."

You kind of wanted to add a second"I'm sorry," to the end but decided against it as you watched his pupils dilate. For a second, the intense blackness swallowed you whole. You shuddered, ever so slightly, but held his gaze.

"Ah," he clicked his tongue and leaned back in his chair, making a point in rattling the chains of his handcuffs against his thighs as he adjusted on his seat, "Well, darling - nevermind. I'm just glad we were able to conceive."

Oh Christ.

×

You couldn't shake the look in his eyes for a few days after your last appointment with him. So intrusive, yet - genuine. Why did he sound so genuine, so sure? You couldn't get the intense, icy blue gaze out of your mind. His boyish grin haunted you.

You'd have to write this down in the notes. His little delusions. Fantasies. At the cost of your own dignity.

You tapped your fingers against the rim of the toilet seat, watching the whirling waters below as you flushed down another cup or so of bile. It was six in the morning.

Morning sickness? Couldn't be.

I mean, you kind of have to, your brain told you as you grabbed the cardboard box on autopilot, shaking the rickety plastic stick out onto your palm. You racked your brain, thinking about your spouse. Maybe - wait, two months ago? You couldn't even tell when the last time was. He hadn't touched you in weeks.

You eyed the unopened pack of pads on the shelf as you tapped your foot against the tile of your bathroom, waiting for the result. Wait, when did you buy that pack again? It was like time was blurring into a big, grey mass and your brain was a fuzzy, great mess. Everything was wrong. You threw a quick glance at the test resting on the edge of the sink. Two lines. Your heart skipped a beat.

You only told your spouse. No one else. Of course, you wouldn't bring it up at work, especially not to him. Eddie Gluskin did not need to know you were pregnant.

You were getting nowhere with him. Even after four months of constant consultations, all he wanted to talk about was his days at the library with anatomy books, playing pool with the other patients and how he'd managed to get two portions of prepackaged dessert by being charming to the staff at the cafeteria. He was deep into his own delusions as ever. Kept calling you his wife. Darling, dearest, beloved. Maybe he really thought you were his.

×

"He's refused to leave his cell," the guard sighed, crossing his bulky arms, leaning against the doorframe of the empty therapy room, "Unless you come to retrieve him yourself, ma'am."

You blinked at the man, clicking your pen absentmindedly, your eyes flicking to your watch. Twelve minutes late.

"W-why?" you cleared your throat, "Why isn't he cooperating?"

The guard shrugged. Indifferent.

"I don't know, ma'am. But he won't move. He said he won't move unless you, uh, come. And I've got orders -..."

"Yeah, my orders not to restrain him," you finished his sentence and rose from your chair with a sigh, your hand flying to your lower back, "Shit," you muttered.

"Your orders?" the guard scratched the back of his neck.

"Yes?" you quirked a brow, "Is there a problem?"

It came out way more aggressive than you wanted.

"No, no," the guard shook his head, his hand shooting to his belt, where he snatched his keys and started spinning them around in his finger, the little clinks digging into your throbbing brain, "I just thought - you know. You weren't the doctor."

He gave a weak laugh, the kind where he was inviting you to laugh with him. You wanted to punch him.

You slung your bag on your shoulder and frowned pointedly at him.

"No," you said coolly, "I don't know. Shall we go then?"

×

"You do have a gun on you, right?" you eyed the bars of the cells and how easily they rattled in the fists of the prisoners as the groaned and yelled obscenities at you.

"A taser," the guard mumbled.

You sighed.

"You better have some excellent aim then if shit hits the fan," you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder, very aware of the clicks of your heels against the crumbling concrete of the cell block floors and the howling and hissing of the men around you.

You approached the door of the cell that you knew to be his. Your fingers felt numb as you reached out for the bars, grabbing onto them for support as you cleared your throat. The cell was dark.

"Eddie?" you called out softly, "Come on, we have to get going. I'm here now. You're late."

No reply. Your heart beat loudly against your ribs.

"Can you turn the light on?" you hissed at the security guard who blinked at you dumbly. He raised his flashlight.

"He dead?"

"I don't know," you whispered, turning your head back to the cell, "Eddie, wakey wakey," you called out, desperation clawing at your throat. You heard a grunt from the bed of the cell and the guard lit up the cell with his flashlight.

Eddie climbed up from the bed, flashing you a wide grin.

"Darling, you finally came."

"There we go," you sighed, "Come on, there's no time for games, we have to get going, okay?"

You gestured for him to come out. He rose slowly from the bed, walked up to the bars, bare feet slapping against the concrete. He leaned against the bars. He was so much taller than you. You swallowed.

"Where are your slippers?" you heard the guard pipe up from behind you. Eddie just stared at you. Licked his teeth obscenely.

"Eddie, get your shoes on, we have to go," you crossed your arms, tried to ignore his heavy breathing and feverish little mumbles as he pressed himself against the bars.

"Not the cuffs this time, please," he muttered.

"It's policy," you sighed and tapped your heel against the floor, "Let the gentleman here get you into your cuffs and we'll go."

"Why don't you love me?"

"Eddie... Not now. Really."

"Let me out, we can run away - together."

You stepped back but felt his hand snatch your wrist. You squealed. The guard lifted up the taser.

×

The months dragged on and on. You were heavily pregnant and every day felt like a herculean task. Getting out of bed was hard and it was not only because of your swollen belly. You were overworked and stressed out and your nearly daily run-ins with Gluskin didn't help in the slightest. The higher-ups wanted more therapy, more consultation mingled with whatever the fuck they were doing downstairs. It made him aggressive. Rashes that split his handsome features began popping up on his face, his swollen lips twisted into a frown.

"For the sake of the baby," his voice trembled in frustration as he gripped the edge of the table, knuckles white and distended, "I'll have to work on my moods, darling. But you're really not being very helpful."

You tried very hard to not roll your eyes.

"Okay, do you want to take a break?" you sighed in defeat, tapping your pen against your bottom lip as you eyed your watch. You were only twenty minutes in and it was already going swimmingly. You made a mental note to never bring up his father again. Not on a Monday morning.

"Oh no, you can't just walk away from the mess you've caused," Eddie chuckled, "I know that you lot get hormonal, but really, there's no need for such - vulgarities. Nonsense."

You shook your head.

"I can see that the topic hurts you," you tried to go for an understanding approach but you were interrupted by his scoff.

"Hurts? No - but I'll tell you what hurts," he narrowed his eyes at you, bouncing his leg up and down so that the chains of his handcuffs clinked dangerously, "What hurts is a mother denying the father of her child. That's unbelievable."

You felt coldness settle in the pit of your stomach.

"We've talked about this," you sighed, furrowing your brows, "My... pregnancy - has nothing to do with you, so can we please stay on the subj-..."

"Has nothing to do with me?" Eddie repeated, barking out a breathy laugh, lifting up his hands and slamming them down on the table while looking around the room.

"It really doesn't, Eddie," you gritted your teeth.

"I bet that's why he kicks you so much," he quirked his brow, baring his teeth, his voice lowering to a growl, "A rotten temper - just like Mommy. But no matter, if he has the same smile as you, so lovely..."

You exploded.

"No!" you screamed, rising up from your chair so fast that you knocked it over, "This is enough! This - it's not yours! My baby is. Not. Yours! Your fucking -..." you lifted your hands to your head, tearing at your hair as you swallowed your spit, eyes wide, "Your wet dreams are not real! I'm sorry that you're alone and I'm sorry that I'm such a fucking shitty psychiatrist - god - I can't help you, I really can't! This is not real, the baby is not yours, so stop it! We've never been anything but a doctor and a patient and I'm sorry I can't help you but this is too much! Stop acting like - like... it's..."

You took in shallow breaths, your lungs expanding painfully as a sob racked your body and you shook, your words dying down as you slowly bent down to pick up your chair and slumped on it, your head in your hands, tears streaming down your face as all you heard was the rushing of blood in your ears and the monotone buzzing of the lights above you.

Eddie was silent. You rubbed youe eyes with the heels of your palms, sniffling against your sleeves as you trembled in your chair, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulder. Every bone in your body was screaming for rest.

"I'm sorry," you huffed out after about a minute of tense silence, wiping at your eyes.

"No," Eddie muttered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"No," you said louder, not making eye contact as you swallowed back another sob, "No, I'm sorry, I should-d-..." you hiccuped, "...- be more professional. It's just that - god, I'm so..."

You couldn't even finish your sentence before burying your head in your hands again, leaning your elbows on the cold steel table between you and him. You heard the rattle of his handcuffs, heard a soft, feathery popping noise and raised your eyes as he waved a tissue in front of you, one that he had plucked from the box on the table.

You took it with a slight, choked out laugh and blew your nose noisily.

"Thanks," you mumbled, dabbing at your eyes with a dry corner.

Eddie just nodded. He watched you wipe your tears, his face blank, but soft. Almost pitying.

"I'm sorry, darling. I upset you."

×

You always came back to an empty house, your legs sore, your eyes swollen and bloodshot. Yet he wasn't there. The father od your child. He was away most of the time. Kept his distance. Even in bed, he kept his distance, his back turned to you as you rubbed the stretched, itchy skin of your stomach, trying to focus on those crumbly patterns on the ceiling so that you wouldn't start hyperventilating. Then morning came and back to the asylum you went. And back home you came, the smell of piss, blood and hand sanitizer fading into the pungent fumes of fresh paint that wafted from the baby's room and gave you a migraine. You sat on the floor, folding tiny clothes into a bag, unfolding them onto the floor, then folding them again, swallowing back your tears. It's like you were going insane.

You were offered a severance check in February. You took it. You didn't even care anymore - you didn't care where the money came from or what they were trying to say by essentially firing you, leaving you to pack up your office in some damp cardboard boxes - you really didn't give a fuck. You were glad it was over.

But you had to say goodbye. You had to.

×

You walked up to his cell, nodding at the guard reassuringly as he twisted his key in the lock and wrenched the heavy door open. You swallowed, tugged at your coat and stepped inside his cell. His domain.

Eddie was sitting in the center of the room in a rickety chair. Humming. They must have kicked up the sedatives after your last visit to his cell. You were kind of glad as you eyed the scratchy linen of his straitjacket, how his muscles bulged against the straps. You felt both guilt and a sense of triumph flood over you. What had this place done to you?

You took a deep breath and walked up to him, leaving about two feet of room between the two of you.

"Eddie?"

His head snapped up, startlingly fast. He smiled tiredly.

"My love - I was just thinking about you."

"Eddie, I - uh..."

You didn't even know where to begin. You settled your hand on top of your bump as if trying to suck up courage from your baby. You sighed.

"I'm leaving Mount Massive, Eddie. We're - this is going to be goodbyes, okay?"

Eddie blinked at you.

"What?" his lips parted, his eyes widened as he tried to process what you'd just said.

"Yeah, I'm - I'm leaving," you decided you'd add some finality to this all and continued, "I got fired."

Bullshit.

"No, that's not possible. You were so good to me," he shook his head slightly, his voice quiet yet slightly panicked.

You smiled gently.

"Thank you. But I gotta go now, Eddie. I jist came to - to..."

You didn't know why you came. You watched him stare at you, watched his handsome face stretched into a taut grimace as his eyes drilled into yours. He was silent for a while. You opened your mouth but he interrupted.

"Can I feel it?" his voice was startlingly soft. It trembled ever so slightly, bouncing off the walls of the cell.

"Eddie, I - I really don't know -..."

"Please?" he whispered, "Just for a moment?"

You stared into his eyes, and for a moment, you got lost in the softness of the baby blue - the exact color of a blankie you'd picked out for your baby. Something took over you. Against your better judgement, you nodded slowly, took a few steps towards the man in front of you.

Eddie's face was blank as he leaned to you, his face a few inches away from your bump as you shuddered in the cold air, feeling the indescribable heat of his body against yours as you closed the distance between the two of you. He cocked his head to the side and softly, slowly, pressed his ear against your belly. You held your breath, watched from above as his broad shoulders rose and fell and how he nuzzled his cheek against the roundness of your stomach. For a few heartbeats, he listened, eyes wide. Then his face melted into a soft smile. You watched his lip quiver.

"Ah, a healthy heartbeat. He's strong," Eddie mumbled, craning his neck back and flashing you a slight grin before settling his forehead against your belly.

Against the thin, stretched fabric of your blouse, you felt hot puffs of air fan over your skin as he breathed against you. You swallowed back a lump in your throat, watched as he gave your bump a gentle kiss. Another one. Then he pressed his forehead into you, sighing deeply against your belly.

Everything felt hazy. It took a while for you to adjust to the warmth inside you and when you came to, you found your hands tangled in his black hair, squeezing him closer to your waist in an awkward hug as you stroked his head.

You trembled, your eyes burned and your throat clenched around empty air and the scent of mildew and the scent of the iron bars and the scent of him.

"Hush now," you heard his voice as he cooed to your bump, "Mommy's got to go away now. She's feeling shy - but she'll come back to Daddy with you. All mine."

You let out a shaky sigh and tore your hands from the softness of his hair, hating yourself as white hot disgust pumped through your veins. You looked down at his flushed face, his pleading eyes that were glossy underneath the blinking fluorescent lights.

"I have to go," you croaked out, "I'm sorry."

"Stay, please," Eddie whispered, "Please don't go."

You stepped back, grasping your belly, rubbing at the are where he had touched you. You shook your head, walking backwards, heart beating. He rose from his chair.

"I can't. I have to go."

"No!" he gritted his teeth, his voice getting louder, "You can't leave me!"

He wriggled against his restraints, taking a long step towards you.

"I can't stay," you shook your head, felt a tear roll down your cheek, tasted the salt as you watched him try to shrug off his straitjacket, his wide eyes fixed on you as he grunted in desperation.

"Don't go!" Eddie yelled. You shook your head, tried to open your mouth, but no words came out. Nothing but a weak whimper as you backed out of the cell and slammed the door shut, squeezing the bars between your fingers as you watched him.

"I'll find you, I'll come and see and - and I'll take you and him home! You can't walk away! You can't do this to me!"

You heard him scream as your vision blurred and you stepped back from the cell bars on wobbly legs, turned youe back to him and started walking away towards the doors. Your chest felt heavy. Shattered.

At least someone was excited about the baby.

You heard his voice call your name out to you behind your back, but this time, it was low and gruff, bouncing off the walls sharply, drilling into your brain. Not a smidge of gentleness. Only desperation. But not hysterics, not anymore.

"You know it's not real, right? The child."

You turned around on your heels. He was slumped forward, forehead pressed against the rusting bars, his eyes fixed on yours. His chipper grin was gone. All softness in his face had turned to icy coldness. You shuddered slightly, but didn't open your mouth. Just stared at him with what you hoped looked like pity in your eyes.

"I heard the doctors talk about it. It's not real," he paused before muttering quietly, with a bitter edge to his voice, "I would have given you a real one and you know it."

You wanted to scoff at him. But you didn't. He sounded so sure. Something in your gut told you - no, nothing was wrong. He was wrong.

"Yeah, I know," you spat, "You with your - your fucking... Grasp on all things real. Don't even bother."

You stood there for a moment. Staring at him, your blood feeling cold. An empty, numb buzzing spread throughout your limbs as you looked in his eyes for the last time. One final blow that he had to deal to you.

"Goodbye, Eddie. I wish you the best."

You didn't even know if your words were genuine anymore. You turned around and rushed to the metal stairs, wiping your eyes, sliding your other hand on the railing, hearing the guard's keys clink against his belt behind you as you left case file 196 to rot in his own sickness, his own filth. Fuck him. You didn't even care anymore. That's what you kept telling yourself as sobbed with your forehead pressed against the steering wheel of your car.

A few weeks went by and you kept seeing the man in your dreams. Blood and guts and screaming babies and his god damned smile. You woke up in cold sweats, your heart racing as you felt your belly, felt the kicks that your son gave you. You're safe, you closed your eyes and rubbed your bump, fingers grazing stretched skin and bulging flesh. I'm gonna keep you safely tucked away from Daddy. Then you'd turn to your side and fall asleep quicker than you realised what you'd thought.

×

The labor was tough. Excruciating. Even with the epidural, you felt nauseous, tingly. Cold. You tossed your head from side to side as you hyperventilated on the plastic sheets, kicking and screaming.

"Emergency caesarean," you'd heard after twenty hours of trying to push. You didn't even care anymore. You just wanted to hold your son. You welcomed the darkness as the clear plastic was cupped over your nose and mouth, the air tasting sweet and viscous and cold. So, so cold.

With all that trouble he gave you, you knew he was his father's son.

Your partner squeezed your hand. You blinked lazily at him, trying to adjust your eyes in the bright light. Dark bags under his wide eyes. His mouth a thin line. Something was wrong. Your stomach jolted.

"What is it?" you muttered, adjusting yourself on the pillows, hearing the fabric rustle underneath you, mingling with the beeps all around you, gripping his hand with numb fingers, "Honey?"

He just shook his head, ever so slightly, his wide eyes still fixed on you. You were starting to feel creeped out, the way he held your hand and just stared. He looked almost catatonic.

"Wh-where's the baby, honey?" you looked around the room, turning your head, tearing your gaze off your spouse. An empty crib with tubes around it, hooked to nothing, undisturbed hospital sheets quivering slightly in the breeze of the air conditioning, "Where's... Where is he?"

You shook your partner's wrist, your brows furrowing.

"Where -...?" you opened your mouth, lifting your upper body off the pillows before being interruoted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," your partner called out hoarsely, not taking his eyes off you.

The door was pushed open. Two doctors with white coats stepped into the room along with a nurse. You eyed them.

"You're awake, we -..."

You interrupted them.

"Where is my baby?" you demanded. Your voice was starting to get louder. They just stood still, quietly.

"Sweetheart," your spouse whispered squeezed your hand, bringing it to your lips. You felt panic constrict your throat.

"Where is my baby?" you yelled. Your words echoed, rattling the linoleum as your chest heaved. The doctors shut the door and stepped to your bedside. Your gaze flickered between their solemn faces and your partner's glistening eyes.

"No," you croaked, your voice going up an octave as you felt coldness spread through your stomach and chest and into your limbs, "Where?"

"Darling... There was no baby," the stranger sitting beside you said with a blank face, his thumbs digging into the flesh of your palm. You breathed in exactly one lungful of the sterile, numbing air, your eyes widening before you distantly felt yourself let out a raw, throat-tearing screech as your world collapsed on itself. You saw nothing. Blackness swallowed you. There was nothing.

#outlast #outlast: whistleblower #outlast x reader #outlast fanfiction #reader insert #eddie gluskin #eddie gluskin x reader #female reader #pregnancy / #childbirth / #im fuckgn screamin how did this turn into a whole ass story

[demetris-cocksleeve]

can I get a matchup? I been stalking them and I love them sm

um mha!

Hi I'm ray!

I am 15 lolololol

Pisces, Pisces rising, Leo moon and Pisces moon

I am an INTP-T also! also a 5w4

my favorite character is izuku midoriya

telekinetic power pls

People say I'm alot like, rue from euphoria, ray from the promised neverland, saiki k and nick the fucking fox from zootopia 💀

I'm very very very. sarcastic. I literally always say, "I want to create problems not solutions. I want to blow things outta proportion. spread negativity.". my friends say I seem super mean and sad when they first saw me. my love language is physical touch and I'm very reassuring and love to comfort my loved ones with tough love, hate seeing the people I love sad. I'm very emotionally sensitive and cry at everything. if someone raise their voice voice me. its over but at the same time have no filter and its worst trait.

I'm very easily irrataited. fucking despise rude people. which is odd considering how u describe myself? self hate ig lol😻🤞

surprisingly I'm attracted to people who aren't alot like me? anyways that's all lol! I tried my best

Quirk Match:

Negative Emotion Empowerment- User becomes stronger, faster, more durable, etc. by emotions, such as anger, hatred, sadness, envy, depression, fear, etc. of oneself and others

Kind of like Yang from RWBY but with emotions

The more negative emotions you feel or people around you feel, the stronger, faster, and more durable you become

Drawbacks include an overstimulation of your power: if you try to harness too many negative emotions your quirk won't work as well, if at all

The rest is pretty much exactly how it seems

.

Izuku was beyond mortified.

He had been waking down the hall, minding his own business, aka staring at you walked with your friends laughing at some joke, when the two of you collided. Your's and his books went sprawling across the floor with the impact and, as you both went to pick up your respective items, a page fell out of his notebook. Much to his distress, it was none other than the page dedicated to you -er- your quirk..

Information upon information was written on the page, ranging from the tiniest detail of your quirk to your favorite obscure candy. Little doodles of you scattered in the margins.

Noticing the paper fall, you bend down to pick it up and notice what's on it. Heat runs from your cheeks down to your chest as you hand the paper back to him hoping he won't notice how flustered you were. Lucky you, he was too busy with dealing with his own embarrassment to notice yours.

Muttering an apology, you and your friends hurry to your next class with them teasing you down the hall.

"Cute.." Izuku thinks as he sees you bury your face in your hands, speed walking away from your cackling friends.

#izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya izuku #izuku fluff #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha #mha blog #quirk matchups #izuku midoriya fluff

[izanas-servant]

SAVE ME - CHAPTER 1

___________________________________________

A/N: This is one of my older stories so it's weird af. But I still decided to post it. It's a Tsukishima x reader and ofc it's depressing (why am I always writing that stuff lol?)

Tw: cringe, feeling of worthlessness

Word count: 644

___________________________________________

 "Tadashi! Kei! Wait for me!" The both of them turn around and look at me. 

"Hurry up, shorty." 

"Shut up you giant!" 

Kei turned around again, to make his way home. I ran to Tadashi, to grab his arm and follow Kei. 

"Keiiii, why are you so rude all the time? Just try to be nicer like Tadashi." 

"(Y-Y/N)-chan you are so cute, but I'm not that nice…"he said in a sad tone. 

"Huuuh, what are you saying Tadashi? You are literally the nicest person I know." I tried to cheer him up.

He is always so insecure.

T-thank you (Y/N)-chan." 

"No problem!" I turn to Kei: "Sooo how was your day Mister-I-am-pissed-as-fuck-and-rude - to-my-best-friends?"

"Normal I guess. But why would you even care? And are you sick or something? You are so happy today." 

I give him an angry stare stare.

"Am I not allowed to be happy?" 

For some reason I feel sad now or angry? I don't know..... 

"Guys, I'm sorry...... I don't know why I'm so weird today."

 I feel like I did something wrong. Am I even allowed to be happy? 

"No (Y/N)-chan, you are not weird. I'm happy you are doing good these days. And you know if something makes you feel sad or bad you can talk to us, right Tsukki?" 

Tadashi looks at Kei who is nodding. 

"Thank you Guys but I don't want to bother you so don't worry. I will be okay." I smile at them. 

After that I Kei bonked me. "Oi, shorty don't say that! You don't bother us at all. So talk to at least one of us." 

"Haaah okay. But now let's change the topic. Kei , can we go to your place to do the homework? I didn't get the new topic at all today." 

I look at him with my puppy eyes. 

"Sure, I guess. My parents and my brother. aren't home anyways. But (Y/N) since when are you that bad in school? Even if I help you nearly everyday. I mean I feel like you understood the topic but still fail your tests." 

"Oh yea I don't know. When we write a test I just forget about everything." I smile nervously. 

"Don't worry. (Y/N)-chan you will make it better next time." Tadashi says.

"I will try my best." 

After that we arrived at Keis house. We took off our shoes, to and made our way to keis room. I jump in his bed and close my eyes. I feel so exhausted. I want to sleep." 

"Shorty come here and do your homework" 

"But I'm so tired." 

"You can sleep at home. Now come here so I "can explain it to you." 

I rolled out of his bed to sit beside him 

"Okay so let's try it I guess" 

-Time skip-

Only one hour later we were done. And I understood everything! 

"Thank you so much Kei." I smile. 

"No problem. But it's getting late. Do you want to go home?" Kei asks. 

I look at him with widened eyes and shake my head. I don't want to go home. I don't want to see my dad ... 

"C-can I maybe stay overnight ...? We could invite Tadashi too! Let's make a sleepover! Pleaseee!" 

Kei looks at me confused. 

"(Y/N) I feel like you are always here. Is everything okay at home?" 

"Oh but I just yea I'm sorry. I want to spend my time with you and Tadashi. You both are so important to me." 

"Haaah okay let's call Tadashi and after that order Pizza, okay?" Kei says. 

"Yaaay !" I hug him and after that we call Tadashi and he can come over too. 

I'm just so thankful to have both of them. 

But maybe I should tell them about ... No better not . I don't want to ruin our friendship.

#haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #anime #tadashi yamaguchi #depressiv #my fic

[unhinged-summer-fun]

wip-date

yeah whatever portmanteaus make me feel something other than manic depression

i know i've been pretty gogogo on mesh network (a lie, but one i tell myself so it's true) but I do want to make some headway into my other WIPs. so here's where i'm at.

Top Priority

mesh network - almost finished with ch3, should be up today. i've got most of the story fleshed out in outline form (skeletoned out?) and i've been thinking of this AU for two years straight so it's coming pretty naturally to me.

30 for 300 follower celebration - there's only 4 of 30 slots taken so far. but i'm gonna get on those soon. still gotta make a masterlist for it. [adds to todoist]

belated af birthday fic for lellow - it's over 6.7k right now, but the latter half is super montagey and i'm trying to ramp myself up into being a story glider again. feel like a terrible friend, it's been four months.

Middling Priority

TBAD - chapter 7 is started (like around 3k rn) but I'm still feeling kind of directionless with the series as a whole. paranoid evil depression brain says i bit off more than I could chew. may do a reread once birthday fic is done to ~rekindle the love~

triptych - I have all of four paragraphs written for chapter 8. the end of the previous chapter kind of fucked up the initial timeline i'd had for this act of the story. i think i'm seeing a bit of a pattern with me avoiding writing smut lol.

art of second place - outline made, ch9 not started. it's a bit faster paced/covers a lot more time than previous chapters, so it's kind of outside of my current writing style. this chapter ends with the beloathed Plot returning. could be the reason for the block.

slut djarin - kinda lost in the weeds for ch7. there's two huge monologues in it, one of which will have a lot of hilarious wild smut, there's an orgy planned, and then a lot of plot happens which isn't really the point of the fic. thinking of starting from scratch and doing it kind of how i did the first three chapters (writing while watching, pausing to get lines correct, tedious but keeps me in the moment)

(other account) tusken din - whoo boy. where this current book (2 of 4) is sitting at, it's at over 26k and we aren't even like officially halfway through the season itself. this one's supposed to be a romance but it's really more of a solid coming of age tale. may pull back and revise from on high, or i might just try powering through to the very end. the document is very long and very intimidating.

collab with katee - still in outline mode, we're both very busy with very amazing and indulgent stories so i get it, but I wanna put some kind of oomph toward it. perhaps this weekend if i'm not too worn out.

Low Priority/On Hold

flicker 2 - max is on a business trip from his usual job of being my muse. also i don't really wanna write anxiety that's not mesh network

flicker 3 - this has three words in the outline: "the collaring one" and again (see above) smut issues

mando!reader/civilian!din - issues with din's role. considering just leaning into the absurdity of it and making him go full y/n and be a medicmechanicbabysitterpilot who's never held a gun. i think playing with that game would be fun.

bobadinnec wingfic - premise mostly written, still a lot of emotional heavy lifting to hammer out.

catboy javi g - officially delegated to Things To Handle After 4/22

whiskey/psychic!ofc - i love you joey and i think of you every time i paint my nails blue i just cannot concentrate on this many things

slow burn din/reader - at this point it's just a twinkle in my eye but i think it has potential, if i can dedicate enough time/effort to it. at this point in my life, i cannot.

daddy frank castle - it's more of a personal character study of him rather than something i'd want to share. it's rough and messy and doesn't really have a reason for existing. if you'd like to see it anyway please let me know.

Misc Housekeeping

moreno tentacles - this one's 4k and ready to go but i have a blood pact with katee that is as yet unfulfilled so i shall respect my blood brother and hang onto this.

that's all! please submit more 30 for 300 drabble ideas!

#unhingery