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panicroom01 · 3 years

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"Just a phase" (Connor x reader)

TW: Mostly angst, a little fluff tho, cursing, weed bc it's connor, fem!reader, Connor is probably ooc.

Requested? Nope lol

A/N: This probably could've had a better name lmao, but I'm taking a break from the fics I have in the works to write this, I should hopefully be getting back to writing them lol, also I made this with the song "18" by Anarbor in mind, but it's not exactly like the song, basically Connor tells his parents that he and the reader were dating and she agrees to pretend to be his girlfriend and she eventually catches feelings, might make another version of this tho, or another Connor x Reader based more off the song again. Anyways stay safe!

Here you were laying on your bed with your best friend, Connor Murphy. You noticed he seemed uncomfortable so you decided to ask him about it "Hey Con, what's wrong," his answer came quickly "nothing," a blatant lie that you saw right through. You quickly sat up and tilted your head.

"Really, it doesn't look like nothing" you replied to him, Connor was never all that secretive with you, he would tell you everything. "Fine, just promise you won't be mad" he finally said, sitting up now, and you nodded. "We're partners in crime, I can't be mad at you" you teased, punching his shoulder lightheartedly.

"I told my parents you and I were dating" he admitted, running his fingers through his long dark hair and you were rendered speechless. "Wow" was all you could say and Connor took it as a bad wow.

"Shit, look, I'm sorry, my parents have just been so annoying trying to ask me if I'm dating anyone yet and getting in my love life so I just told them we were dating to get them to shut up" he explained and you nodded in understanding. "I get that, if you want we could pretend to date so they get off your case" you suggested and he smiled gratefully "that would be great, thanks."

You couldn't help but smile back at his dopey grin and ruffle his hair a little bit, which caused him to jokingly push you away.

A few days later and you're officially introduced to the Murphy's as Connor's girlfriend, you'd met them before, but it was always brief, like when you'd knock on the door to pick up Connor either to go to your house or go on a walk with him.

You had also been in the house on several occasions and it was just you and Connor, no one else.

Tonight was different, tonight you were actually having dinner with the rest of the family and it was your first time having to pretend to be Connor's girlfriend.

Naturally you sat next to Connor and observed the rest of the family. Mrs. Murphy, had made a gluten free lasagna for dinner, not what you would've chosen but food is food.

The awkward silence was finally broken by Mr. Murphy. "Connor's never mentioned you around us" he stated and you replied back "Connor's never talked to me about you either" that was a lie. You could name multiple occasions Connor snuck to your house to escape the noise of his parents arguing, or just wanting to avoid them overall and he trusted you.

More awkward silence filled the room, until another Murphy spoke, this time it was Zoe. You knew Zoe, she would occasionally sit with you at lunch with Evan, Jared, Alana, and Connor (obviously). But other days she would sit with her friends so you didn't know her all to well.

"Why, out of anyone you could be with, would you pick my brother? I see you guys at lunch and you two just seem like friends," she questioned, causing Cynthia to speak up "Zoe, that's not very nice" "yeah well neither is Connor, I just wanna know what she sees in him" she shrugged.

You answered her question "Connor's sweet and good to me" you looked over at him to see he was staring down at his now mostly empty plate. "May we be excused to Connor's room?" you asked and Larry nodded "keep the door open though," you and Connor nodded in agreement and quickly put your dishes in the sink and went up to his room.

Connor was relieved to finally be in his own room and away from everyone else. "You okay, Con, you didn't say a thing at dinner," you asked, a little concerned, and he sighed.

"Yeah I'm fine [Y/N], it's nothing," "well it didn't seem like nothing," you responded, crossing your arms. "It just feels unfair making you go through all this because I made a dumb mistake of saying something to keep them from asking me more dumb shit."

You frowned "this isn't your fault Connor, besides I wouldn't pass up an excuse to spend time with you" and he grinned slightly, pushing you playfully "you dork" he teased.

Two months later. That's how much time has passed since your first "date" with Connor. You had skipped out on going to a concert with tickets Cynthia and Larry paid for and were instead spending time in your house.

You and Connor usually skipped on these dates Cynthia and Larry paid for the two of you, so this wasn't anything new.

Connor was laying on your bed smoking weed, you were fine with him smoking in your room, you didn't mind the smell. Something about this night seemed different though, you didn't know what but you saw something in Connor.

You were attracted to your best friend, you had no clue why, but you actually started wishing you two were actually boyfriend and girlfriend. But you knew you weren't and it hurt because no matter how convincing he was with his parents you knew it was a phase. Connor didn't really love you.

A week later you started completely avoiding Connor all together. You ate lunch alone that week, ignored all his texts, didn't come over to his place like you normally did, and you definitely didn't invite him over to yours.

Throughout the week you'd gotten texts from Alana, Evan, and Jared asking what happened with you and Connor, because it was impossible for them to not notice, they saw how you would be talking with them one minute and make an excuse to leave when Connor came along.

You ignored them too. That friday Connor had stopped you in the hall to ask why you've been so standoffish but you just shrugged "it's nothing," you stated, trying to make your way to class. "It isn't, you've been ignoring me for the past week now," he said but you drowned out the sound of his voice by putting in your earbuds and playing your music.

That night you were trying to do your homework, but you were too distracted by the thought of Connor, you tried to play music to drown out the thought of him but that didn't work either so you ended up in your bed, putting on a black hoodie of his you had "stolen" from a time you were cold while spending time with him and he let you borrow it and you just forgot to return it. It smelled like him too.

He had a dozen of the same hoodies at home and you knew that but it didn't matter because he was willing to be cold temporarily for you.

You suddenly heard a knock at your window and got up to investigate, you opened it up and lo and behold was Connor Murphy "hey," he said "hey," you replied "can I come in," he asked and you simply nodded, stepping aside so he could climb into your room.

There was a long silence until Connor finally spoke and broke it "what did I do," he asked, "what do you mean?" you asked "you ignored me for a fucking week, when I tried to talk to you all you did was brush me off, so what did I do, did I say something I shouldn't have?" he explained, starting to guess now. You could hear the hurt in his voice and it hurt you.

"You didn't do anything" you said, taking a step closer to him and he looked at the ground "bullshit" he muttered.

"What," you asked, not hearing what he said "bullshit!" he shouted "so I'm asking again, what did I do wrong, please, I need to know, I need to make it right" his voice cracked at please which made your heart sink.

"I'm being honest Connor, you really did nothing, besides it was just a week, it wasn't like you didn't have Jared, Evan, or Alana" you said, "they aren't you, they're fun to hang around, but they don't get me like you do, so I'm asking you again what I did to upset you?" he said, you saw tears brimming at his eyes.

"I'm in love with you Connor" you said softly, and you saw his head lift up slightly "what," he asked "I said I'm in love with you, that day you got high in my room, a week ago, I saw something in you, I didn't want to make things awkward between us" you confessed.

Connor had walked over to your bed and sat on the edge of it "wow," was all he said. "Was that a good or bad wow," you asked. "I don't know" Connor answered.

"How long have you known?" he asked, running a hand through his long brown hair. "Remember that day we were supposed to go to that concert and you got high here instead?" you asked "of course I do," he answered "that's when I realized it, something about you looked different, but familiar too and I just realized that I liked you" you said, sitting on your bed next to Connor.

"Well if it makes you feel better, I think I fell for you that day too, I just thought it was the weed though so I ignored it" he said smiling softly, and you didn't believe him until you looked in his eyes and saw the truth.

You leaned in and kissed him on the lips, it wasn't like the times you kissed him around his family, this time it had meaning to you two.

"Is that the hoodie I lent you," Connor asked realizing what you were wearing finally. "Yeah but you have a dozen hoodies at home, besides, I couldn't stop thinking about you" you answered. "Psh dork," he teased, pushing you lightheartedly and you laughed "hey, I'm your dork," "my beautiful dork," he said with a smile and kissed you on the forehead.

#deh #deh fanfic #deh x reader #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader angst #dear evan hansen x reader #connor murphy x reader angst #connor murphy x reader fluff #connor x reader #connor murphy x reader #connor murphy #I'm actually pretty proud of this

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 29

First time reader click here

Feels like this story is flopping. Is it flopping? Idk. This chapter is 100% plot and it is spooky. Cursed demon box. Helpful Stephen Strange and grumpy Wong. Hovering Bruce and Tony. Loki being a honorary Gen-Z. Found family but make it ✨superheroes✨.

"That's a lot to unpack," Peter stated once I had given him the bare bones report of the situation at hand. "Uh, are you okay?" The boy was obviously upset at my predicament, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Kinda?" I offered, making space for Wanda and Pietro who decided to join me and Peter, away from the arguing adults. The mission discussion - an absolute disaster - started as soon as Peter had walked in. Evidently experienced in such matters, the boy ignored the bickering and came over to steal me from Bruce's clutches to peacefully finish his egg sandwich in the company of his peers.

"I wanted to ask if I could see your memory of that time," Wanda meekly offered me a piece of candy. I accepted it - sugar sweet sugar, how I love thee so! The witch continued with a smile: "I think it would be helpful to see what we're dealing with, magic-wise."

"Sure," I trusted her. "Just don't scramble what's left of my sanity, please," All of us laughed at my remark as I laid down on the cold floor with my head in Wanda's lap. Her powers felt like small brain zaps, tingles that began at the front of my forehead and ran down into my spine. I followed her instructions and thought about the times I remembered, finding the box, placing it into my closet, the nightmares. I had a mild headache by the time she was done; no grudges against her - Wanda tactfully avoided my private moments and looked only at the ones containing the artifact.

"You've gotten really good," I complimented her with pure adoration.

"Thank you," She blushed, smoothing back my stray hairs. "That stuff is really strong. I don't think you should go near the box," She admitted. "And Doc should take a look at you. You have a residue left. I don't think that's good either."

"Well, fuck," I said in muted resignation.

"Press F to pay respects," Pietro joked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

"Your luck is almost as bad as mine," Peter pointed out.

I scoffed. "Well, if I see any spiders around, I'll be sure to stay away in case they happen to be radioactive OsCorp runaways."

All of us laughed. Despite the grim situation, I didn't feel doomed. I was surrounded by friends and my boyfriends and my bestie who happened to be a mythical omnipotent god- welp, once again, I was getting too emotional. Once the adults were done arguing, we could start making sense of this mess and hopefully clean it up before the monster is out of the box.

"Mortals," I heard Loki scoff. The next moment, the Asgardian sat down noisily next to me, pout on full display. "This house is a nightmare."

His expression - or the accidental use of a meme - sent me completely, tension leaving my body via copious amounts of nearly hysterical laughter. Through tears and hiccups, I saw Wanda cackle with me and Peter show the meme in question to Loki, noting that he had been once sent to time-out on top of the fridge by Tony himself. Soon, all of us were laughing, much to the displeasure of the adults.

"Children, what is the issue?" Thor asked, irritated.

"We're just waiting for you to be done with arguing," I spoke before Loki could start bitching about Thor calling him a child. "Then I can show Steve and Loki where exactly have I buried the box so Stephen can take me to the healers and get this thing out of me or whatever," I pointed out the most logical plan of action.

Two long strides and the sorcerer was standing over me, boom-boom-whooshing and generally making very pretty golden patterns to appear and land on top of me. Tony and Bruce anxiously hovered behind him, both of my boys concerned and ready to mother-hen me. Ugh, so disgustingly adorable. Wanda's hand encompassed mine - she was nervous.

Stephen took a solid five-minute silence break before coming to a final conclusion. "Wong can get rid of the residual traces of the artifact's influence," The sorcerer announced curtly. "It's good you got rid of the artifact, a few more months and you would have started slipping into insanity if the magic within it was not released," He explained, slowly reaching out a hand to place it on top of my head. I wasn't sure if it was a gesture meant to bring comfort or another diagnostic test but leaned into the touch nonetheless. "Tell me, did you have any behavioral... Disturbances after...?" He trailed off.

I chewed on my lip, evaluating. "I honestly don't know. I've always been kind of an asshole," Honesty was the best policy. "Nothing seems out of order, sleepwalking aside."

"I see," Strange gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Perhaps, it was your stubborn nature that forbade the artifact from corrupting your mind completely. As evidenced by Captain Rogers, even undesirable character traits bring good into this world now and then."

That seemed a little bit hostile. I frowned, giving a questioning look to a frowning Loki.

"Speaking from experience?" Not the one to hold back upon witnessing first-grade bullshit, I withdrew from Stephen's touch, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.

Surprising everyone, the man laughed soundly, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I most certainly do," Shooting me a positively mischievous wink. I felt like I was missing something.

The room's inhabitants slowly ticked out in pairs and threes, eager to complete their assigned tasks. Loki had insisted on coming along to the sanctum with me, even almost getting up in Stephen's face, but Bruce - out of all people - managed to calm the Asgardian down, and together we convinced him his magic would be considerably more useful during the retrieval of the cursed box. Loki was worried - everyone with a pair of functional eyes could see that the spiky attitude was his way of showing he cared about me, which made my insides briefly turn to mush. I didn't expect him to take the title of my best friend so seriously and I definitely was not complaining.

Tony was the last to leave, jittery and shaky, clutching me like it was his last time seeing me, kissing me hungrily in front of everyone. The joke or two he made were weak ghosts of his usual sharp snark.

"I love you and I'll be back soon," I whispered into his ear, feeling him freeze and his fingertips dig almost painfully into my sides. Louder, I repeated: "Not planning on dying any time soon, y'all gotta chill. Let's go, doc?" I addressed the tall sorcerer who was tactfully pretending to be busy with his smartphone.

Wanda pressed a duffle bag into my hands mouthing "clean clothes" a split second before Stephen opened a portal and with a great deal of curiosity, I stepped through it, eyes immediately drawn to the dimly lit space filled with books and antiques. So many books, so many unusual trinkets. The chandelier that hung over our heads rivaled the ones I'd seen in million-dollar-homes of dad's friends.

"Follow me," Stephen extended an arm in the direction of a smaller door, "Please do not touch anything."

I walked a pace behind him, satisfying my curiosity by looking around like a child in a candy store. The air smelled different in the Sanctum, almost as familiar as Loki's magic but less frosty... Warmer. A dash of red fabric swished from somewhere towards me; I giggled. The Cloak of Levitation liked me - not nearly as much as it liked Peter though - so I brushed my fingertips along the fabric, greeting it quietly. Talking loudly in this building was out of the question. I felt like any moment, a disgruntled librarian would appear to chastise me for making noise.

"Strange," A short Asian man appeared, book in hand and looking none too happy. Guess that's the librarian... "I got your text. The room next to yours is prepared for the ritual," The man I assumed to be Wong gave me a curt nod in the way of greeting, doing a quick 180° and walking us back to a small but tastefully decorated room with a single cot in the middle. It was pleasantly warm, a small fire lit in the fireplace, willowy smoke of incense rising from a few strategically placed sticks.

"The bathroom is that way. I'm afraid you'll have to be fully nude for the procedure," Strange declared apologetically, pointing to a door hidden behind the divide.

I snorted, but of course, the weird voodoo shit would require me to be naked. Not that I was embarrassed or anything but still. Tony would have a field day. Locating a chair, I dumped my duffle bag on it, flying out of my hoodie and sweatpants in record time. My underwear and socks followed, feet unpleasantly chilly despite the carpeted floor. I ran a hand over the faint bruises on my hips, evidence of last night, fondly - either Tony or Stephen had left marks on my body and that was... It was great. I loved it, drugs or not.

I heard someone clear their throat and turned around, nearly cracking up at the way both men suddenly averted their gazes, blush riding high on their cheeks. I snorted: "I'm hot, what else is new?"

Wong shook his head, busying himself with some sort of a book; Stephen lingered, eyes fixated on the very same bruises. His tongue darted out, wetting the plush of his bottom lip, and damn, this wasn't the time to get horny. I shook my head and with that, the sorcerer caught himself too, mutely motioning me to lay down on the cot.

"Whenever you're done eye-fucking each other," Wong piped up sarcastically - wow, I liked this man already. Stephen grumbled something quiet and rude, provoking another snort from me.

I followed their instructions - shortly after the Asian man began reading - or rather singing - something in a language I didn't know, I felt myself fall into a deep sleep. Or, I thought I was falling asleep. At one point, my eyes opened to an empty room, a thin sheet covering my bare body, and a silence that made chills run down my spine.

"Stephen?" I called out. I sounded like I was underwater to my own ears. "Wong?"

I was met with silence so deafening, I had no choice but to sit up and look around. The fire was burning strong in the fireplace, several logs blackened from it as sparks flew. It took a second for me to realize it made no sound - there was no crackling. Something was very wrong, the dread was creeping up on me.

Very familiar dread.

With the sheet firmly wrapped around me, I hopped off the cot, suddenly noticing the drawings on my arms, my legs. I was covered in runes similar to the ones I had seen on the cursed box - and my memories weren't missing. As clear as day, I recalled messing around with the box, debating on opening it, taking it out of my room only to find it back on my desk in the morning, some serious Anabelle shit.

I jumped as the floorboards cracked somewhere in the house. Every logical thought I had, backed up by every horror movie I had ever watched, screamed at me to NOT go towards the creepy noise; like moth to a flame, I was drawn in and couldn't resist the unnatural urge to investigate it. On silent feet, I padded out of the room, desperately trying not to think about the lonely, dark hallways filled with strange ancient objects. My steps made no noise.

On the couch, in the main room we'd arrived, sitting lazily, was Tony. I'd recognize his hair anywhere - and the Led Zep tee, old, frayed edges and loose threads. "Tony?" I asked hopefully, trying to make sense of this...

He turned around.

It wasn't Tony. Whatever it was, it wore Tony's face, it held his brown eyes and crow's feet around them - it wasn't him. Wrong, like the lack of sound in this place, misplaced and unnatural. The doe browns didn't sparkle, lifeless, dull color of dried mud. As much as I wanted to go and bury my face in his chest, my limbs filled with lead, my whole body screaming "DANGER".

The impostor kept quiet which only solidified my suspicions. Real Tony would be running his mouth already, poking fun at my impression of a sheet ghost.

"Princess?" The... Thing asked in Tony's voice, but it fell flat and monotone.

"Whatever you are, you sure as Hell ain't Tony," I stated firmly, hoping for some answers. "What the fuck?"

Not-Tony's face changed, familiar features twisting into something sinister, the malice making me sick to my stomach. The creature stood up, causing my feet to take an involuntary step back as he advanced slowly.

"You have no choice but to submit," The Thing replied calmly. "You're not getting out of here. Not even your little Asgardian pet god can save you," Its tone was absolutely flat. I would have thought the thing was a robot if not for the obvious involvement of magic in this situation. Its words filled me with dread as thick as molten lava; unfortunately for the creature, unlocking my memories gave me enough rational balance to be acutely aware of it and therefore, able to fight it.

I could fight it. I didn't know how exactly, but I could resist it. "That's a really bold thing to say for something that... What even are you? Magical STD?" As my brain desperately focused on finding a solution to a problem I didn't know all the details of, my mouth had a mind of its own.

The creature growled, a far more primal noise than a human could make. "You don't know what you're up against, child. I am one for we are many," Suddenly, the room was filled with shadows as if someone had turned off all the lights and cranked up the moon to be the brightest it ever was. The shadows moved, oozed, motion sinister without any light to back it up.

I had no choice but to pucker up. Nobody was coming to rescue me; in fact, I always have taken pride in being a self-saving princess. Damsel in distress wasn't really my style. The hunch in my shoulders disappeared, giving way to a stubborn and stiff expectation of the upcoming altercation, hands bailed in fists.

"I mean, like Legion the demon from the Bible?" I recalled what little I knew from Wikipedia. "I mean, I'm agnostic myself, but if you feel like identifying with that, you should probably see a therapist."

The entity growled, shadows gathering around it like fabric on a string, and lunged. Paralyzed by sudden blinding, deafening fear, I turned tail and ran.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

#party favours #bun writes #tony stark x reader #bruce banner x reader #stephen strange x reader #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x y/n #stephen strange x y/n #tony stark x you #bruce banner x you #stephen strange x you

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jjk-biased · 4 years

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jungkook x reader

requested by @atulipandarose (oooh soulmate/jungkook/one shot!! it's been big missing jk hours over here)

genre: fluff, soulmate au

words: 2.5k of dumb jungkook pining

warnings: none >< cussing here and there, also my first time writing just fluff so please be kind. unedited!!!

synopsis: jungkook never loved the idea of soulmates because he liked you and he wanted only you.

masterlist | events masterlist

There it was, the panging he felt in his heart even if he wasn’t the person in pain. As his chest throbbed, it was emotional pain he supposed, the song began to play in his head. He gritted his teeth, upset to have been reminded once again of the world he lived in.

The world had to be so stupid to believe in such nonsense. It was idiotic. They had to be so naive to rely on this whole scam - to the point where they even revolve their lives around it.

It isn’t true. It’s far-fetched. This whole soulmate system wasn’t reliable.

He lived in a world where the universe decided who each person’s other was. Soulmates existed. It was everywhere. And he didn’t like it one bit.

Whoever made the world like this had to be an utter idiot. Why would anyone allow something like this to take over people’s lives? This bullshit soulmate system gave people a false sense of hope that someone out of the millions and millions of people would be the only right person for you. That somehow, out of 7.5 billion people, someone would be the perfect yin to your yang.

It shouldn’t exist. Soulmates shouldn’t exist.

Come to think of it, how can the universe even be so sure that the person they have “destined” for him is the right one? And, honestly, who even gave the universe the right to choose for him?

Fuck the universe, Jeon Jungkook wanted to pick for himself.

He thought this whole sham was an inconvenience. Unlike almost every love-crazed and soulmate-addict person, he thought otherwise. Jungkook felt suffocated at the thought of being tied down to someone who he probably didn’t even like. He didn’t need whoever they had for him. He didn’t have to meet this so-called pre-destined love of his life to live happily.

Actually, he did. Or else he would forever be haunted by it. He’d go crazy.

People had different “soulmate indicators” -- basically something in their body that gave them a hint on whoever they were destined for. Namjoon, his writer friend, had a tattoo of his soulmate’s name on his collarbone. Jimin, the short friend, had a ring on his finger with the initials of his soulmate and would even change colors depending on the mood of his other. One part of Taehyung's hair is the same color as his soulmate’s, regardless if he tried to dye it along with his locks.

To say the least, theirs were easy to find, to discover - much more convenient than what the universe had in store for dear Jeon Jungkook. His had to be the most vague indicator of this whole scam.

A song.

The universe gave Jungkook one specific song that only he and his soulmate knew. Not a name, not a ring, not even a hair color. Just one fucking song.

Jeon Jungkook didn’t want to believe in this obviously fraudulent scheme that the universe set up. Despite his woes and resentment towards the system, Jungkook couldn’t exactly ignore it. The song, somehow sung by both him and the soulmate, always played in his head whenever he or the other would feel down. Somehow, it only played when any of them were sad. Not when they’re happy. Not when they’re angry. Not when they’re bored. Only when one or the other wasn’t feeling well.

But hey, at least he knew when it would start.

There would always be a pang in his chest before it began. It was akin to when the dog dies in the movie, or when someone relayed bad news, or when the character in a book had to leave. The weird feeling would be eased immediately as soon as the song played in their head. It would lull him to sleep, he guessed it held the same effect for whoever was on the other side, and would make him feel at home.

But he did not like this soulmate bullshit.

Not one bit.

Even if the song brought him great comfort. Even if it was the only thing he looked forward to when he had a bad day. Even if his soulmate’s honey-like voice blended well with his.

Wait shit, he should be hating this nonsense. Why did he just think that his soulmate sang nicely?

Fuck it. Forget what he thought. It didn’t matter anyway.

He had other things to think about anyway, especially how to gain the courage to ask his friend out.

Jungkook is currently and sadly a college student, who, aside from drowning in student debt, studies fine arts. He hopes to become a renowned artist someday, and in pursuing so, had to disobey his typical Asian parents’ wish for him to be called Dr. or Atty. someday.

Soulmate hatred aside, art had always been his passion. Despite growing into a family full of doctors, lawyers, and judges, he knew his heart belonged in fine arts. When his brother would play with the toy syringes and stethoscopes, he would be seen getting himself dirty with the washable markers. That love for coloring grew into something more, and so Jungkook decided he would become an artist in the future.

It was always so freeing for him to dabble in the blues and greens and create whatever he visualized in his mind. The pencil in his hand could easily convey the emotions he had trouble vocalizing. All of his troubles would go away faster than you can say worldwide handsome Jin-hyung with the aid of his drawing tablet. Everything about art just intrigued him. Art was easy. Art was comforting.

Art is where he felt free.

It wasn’t suffocating. Unlike his family that wanted him to be someone he couldn’t become and this soulmate shit that wanted to cuff him down to one specific person he doubts would even go well with him.

He wanted the soulmate system gone. For reasons that seemed justified to him and only him.

He could live without the incessant nagging of his very traditional family who wanted to sped things up. Jungkook would finally stop seeing some of his soulmate-less acquaintances miserable. He could finally go on with his sad day without the song that would automatically play in his head.

Wait… that last thought made him feel sad. Perhaps he would miss the song after all.

Anyway, and above all, he could finally court his cute friend without having to worry of the soulmate shabang.

Jungkook didn’t want whoever the universe paired him with. He wanted his cute seatmate and friend, Y/N Y/L/N.

Y/N Y/L/N. Your name was perfect.

The way your name rolled off his tongue felt just right. The way your nose would scrunch as you focused on sketching the naked dude who had to pose in front of everyone. The way you would tilt your head when the professor never made sense with his discussions.

Everything about you was just so… perfect.

You were kind-hearted, considerate, and intelligent. Your humor was unmatched and you were very enthusiastic when you conversed with Jungkook. From a small crush, his liking towards you grew into something he couldn’t exactly ignore. He liked you more than he liked to listen to the duet in his head.

Okay… scratch that. Maybe he did like his significant other’s singing voice. It eased his worries after a troublesome day. Admittedly, he had found comfort in it.

If only the universe allowed him to converse with whoever was on the other side, then maybe he didn’t have to loathe this system so much. He could’ve gotten a friend out of it, not a soulmate… but a friend.

Somehow, his thoughts wandered back to you. God, imagine if you were his soulmate. Jungkook would be more than happy if that happened. But he didn’t need the universe to act on his feelings for you. Jungkook will do something… He knew he had to do something about it. He just didn’t know when.

All of his thinking made Jungkook revert to airplane mode, so it was only then that he noticed you concernedly waving your hand in front of his face for a sign of consciousness. He found your scrunched up face painstakingly cute but holy shit… why are you so close? Please don’t be so close. Jungkook would malfunction if you decreased the space between you two even more.

“Are you okay, kook?” You luckily stepped back once he locked eyes with you.

Ah… that sweet voice of yours that could rival the comforting honey-like singing in his head.

“Y-yeah! Sorry, was spacing out,” Jungkook’s words were jumbled as he noticed he was staring at you like a gaping goldfish instead of answering like a normal person.

Your giggles rang throughout the room at his predicament. He crookedly grinned then laughed along. This must be heaven. Your happiness was always contagious and he’d often mirror the smile on your face whenever you were happy.

You made him feel giddy as much as he did on the days he finished his artworks. You made him complete.

But that damn soulmate thing had to ruin it.

How he wished you were his soulmate.

“I thought something happened to you, kook! Mr. Kang dismissed us some time ago but you were still frozen in your seat when everyone left. I was so… worried,” You chuckled, though quite red and hesitant at the end.

Well did that instigate the butterflies in Jungkook’s tummy.

“Concerned for me?” Jungkook teased, it was his go-to response because he couldn’t exactly flirt in straight sentences.

Your eyebrows furrowed but the pink hue became much more evident. Jungkook didn’t even mind the kick you gave him because he made you feel a bit flustered. Success :D

“Taehyungie’s been busy, hasn’t he?” You said, trying to change the subject so everyone could forget the embarrassment.

Taehyung, the theater kid and drama major, was friends with the both of you. He had been busy for the past month because their project was to create a series of plays to showcase to the school. Their show will be on Tuesday, days away from now.

Right! He could invite you to the play.

“He is… Hey,” You tilted your head and hummed when Jungkook’s voice sounded a bit unsure.

“Do you wanna go with me to the play?”

The red on your face and the shy nod you did made him swell in accomplishment. He can’t wait for Tuesday to come.

Fuck. He should’ve waited for Tuesday to come. Now it is Tuesday and he was too nervous to even stand in a five-meter radius near you. Slapping himself to forget the momentary faltering of his confidence, he shakily waited at the foot of your doorstep with an album in his hand.

You two bonded on music and he knew you well enough to know you’d rather have the CD of your favorite artist than some flower that would wilt after awhile. He was right. The beam on your face when he handed over the gift made him so happy that all his nerves were washed away. You always had a way to ease him, even if you weren’t aware.

“M’lady,” He jokingly tried to replicate a british accent as he offered his arm, waiting for you. And as you always would, you took his arm along with an accent-laced, “M’lord,”

Jungkook forgot his worries for a moment and it was always because of you.

You two sat near the stage to support Taehyung with his play. You two remembered him sharing that their play was about a soulmate-driven world with much more darker consequences. It was about the fictional hanahaki disease, he said.

And boy did it feel so sad. Taehyung acted so well, as if he was really losing his character’s best friend onstage. Jungkook peered at you for a moment and saw your eyes glisten as Taehyung’s cries grew louder and louder.

The story was really heartbreaking.

To the point where Jungkook felt the familiar pang on his chest and the song began to play in his head.

How peculiar. His soulmate was sad just as Taehyung’s scene played out. Perhaps they were in the same auditorium as well. But that was impossible. His soulmate was probably watching some soap opera.

Not that he minded. Jungkook had other things to think about, especially how to comfort you as your tears flowed down from the actors’ amazing performance. As slick as he could, he draped an arm around you and let you rest your head on his shoulder. His heart was beating faster than he could comprehend. Even more so, when you scooted closer to him.

Fuck. You were cuddling. Oh my god. Jungkook is gonna die out of happiness.

He had to play it cool though. Jungkook ignored the warmth in his chest and face as he rubbed your arm in consolation. He was surprised you reacted well. Nothing prepared him for what happened next.

You were humming.

You were humming his song.

hOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT YOU WERE HUMMING HIS SONG.

You… were his soulmate.

Okay universe… Unfuck you, Jungkook guessed. Apparently the universe was on his side after all… All he had to do was somehow tell you…

Jungkook, his face now an uncontrollable red, nervously turned towards you and successfully got your undivided attention. God, he could die then and there. Gathering courage from glob knows where, he smiled and sang the first line of the song.

Universe might have been laughing at him for suddenly changing his views. Jungkook would’ve laughed at himself if he found out the double-back on his opinion. But this was you.

You and your cute nose scrunch, you and your adorable head tilt, you and your witty comebacks.

This was you.

Everything about you was perfect, and he couldn’t believe that the universe liked him enough to grace him with you as his soulmate.

何故こんなにも涙が溢れるの

[Naze, konna ni mo namida ga afureru no]

Your eyes widened as he sang the song that felt like home to the both of you.

ねぇ側にいてそして笑ってよ

[Nee, soba ni ite soshite waratte yo]

You joined in on the singing and everything just made sense. None of the leaving people in the auditorium mattered at the moment.

君のいない未来は色のない世界

[Kimi no inai mirai wa iro no nai sekai]

Jungkook was so happy. It seemed like the world was brighter than before.

モノクロで冷たい

[Monokuro de tsumetai]

He shouldn’t have doubted the universe’s plan. Everything was better with you.

見つめてる暗闇さえも so beautiful

[Mitsumeteru kurayami sae mo so beautiful]

You smiled shyly as your soft honey-like voice harmonized with him.

僕を信じてほしい

[Boku wo shinjite hoshii]

Jungkook’s smile grew wider, encasing your delicate hand in his.

まっすぐに君だけを見て

[Massugu ni kimi dake wo mite]

For once in his life, he was happy and it was better because he was happy with you.

どこにも行かないように

[Doko ni mo ikanai you ni]

You two shared a kiss that afternoon, on a Tuesday, at the university’s auditorium.

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk @bbyjoonies @borednia @tanumiki @taescake

[Extra]

Jungkook: Hey Taehyung! Congrats, that play was amazing

Taehyung: ...yeah… but why did you two make out when I died onstage?

You: ahahaha bye.

#bts x reader #bts #jungkook x female reader #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #soulmate au #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook imagine #your eyes they tell

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justatiredghost · 3 years

Text

Living for the Moment Ch21 A series of glimpses at Klaus’ life if he’d met Dave in his mid 20s. His life isn’t magically transformed, love can’t fix either of them when they’re both homeless and in a bad place. They’re not even really ready for a relationship yet. But maybe a supportive friendship can set them on a better path, the two of them inspiring each other to take care of themselves. It’s going to be a long and bumpy ride, and the question is, when will they actually admit to themselves that they have feelings for each other? Read More AO3

Klaus was pacing, too much energy and nothing to do with it, all too aware that he hadn’t had a hit in much too long. He wasn’t sure if the nausea or shakes were because of the withdrawal or panic, but it was only going to get worse, especially once the ghosts started showing up. He crossed his arms tightly, feeling like he was going to crawl out of his own skin. He never had been very good at waiting.

And this was the worst place he could think of to have to wait around in. He hated being back at the Academy. It brought up too many memories, making him feel like a kid again, useless and miserable. Then again, not much had changed there. He was proud of how useless he’d remained.

Even though he knew Grace had said no one else was home, he still kept glancing at doors, listening for telltale footsteps, anything to indicate Reginald was on his way. It had always seemed like Dad had a sixth sense dedicated just to knowing when to show up to make his life a living hell.

He should steal something from the old bastard. For old time’s sake.

When the door opened, it startled him out of his thoughts and he half expected Reginald to be standing there. He wasn’t sure if Grace, her usual smile replaced with a look of trepidation, was actually better. It felt like his stomach dropped, like he was falling, and whenever he hit the ground, it would probably be more painful than anything he’d ever experienced.

“Your friend is resting now,” she said, which, so far so good, Klaus supposed. “But we won’t know the extent of the damage until he wakes up. I just want you to understand, he lost a lot of blood.”

Klaus knew there was an unspoken, ‘if,’ there. ‘If he wakes up.’ And his mind was all too helpful in providing plenty of horrible outcomes, from permanent organ damage to a coma. What were they supposed to do then?

‘They.’

The realization that he really, truly, meant that hit him hard. He wouldn’t leave Dave to face this alone, whatever happened. It was stupid, this was exactly what he’d worked all his life to avoid. He was a useless fuckup and this could only end horribly for the both of them. And yet, for some reason, he still wanted to try. Whatever the cost to himself.

It was strange, remembering that only a few hours ago he hadn’t been able to decide if he should meet Dave or not. But this was different. He could live with, for once, putting aside his selfishness so Dave could live a happy life without him fucking it all up. But now? He wouldn’t abandon him like this.

“Why don’t you go see him?” Grace said, reminding him that they didn’t have all the information yet. He didn’t even know if Dave would survive the night. She put a comforting hand on Klaus’ shoulder and smiled encouragingly for whatever it was worth.

“Thanks, Mom.”

He felt shaky and detached as he made his way to the infirmary, like this was just a dream. Until he actually saw Dave, that is. Seeing his too-pale form lying there snapped him back to reality and the weight and terror of it all hit him hard. As he sat beside him, he couldn’t help but watch Dave carefully, counting every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed; proof he was alive.

He shivered as he sat there, feeling completely drained, emotionally and physically. He thought about raiding the liquor cabinet, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Dave’s side. There wasn’t anything he could do, now, but he’d come so close to losing him and right now, all he wanted was to be near him.

“Don’t you die on me,” Klaus said, even though he knew he couldn’t hear him. “Not now.”

The idea of losing Dave, after everything, made him want to laugh in a horrible sort of way that he was afraid might turn into something else. He didn’t want to even think about it. About how much he’d changed because of Dave, despite himself; about the glimpses of what his life could be, things he never thought possible, things he didn’t even believe in that suddenly felt like they could be true.

He was this whirlwind that had come into his life and shaken everything up, making him care about something other than himself for once. Making him want more than the oblivion he had spent his life searching for. It wasn’t fair. Dave was good, actually genuinely good, this couldn’t be how he ended up. Klaus deserved this kind of end, but not him.

He could feel exhaustion weighing on him after the day he’d had, but instead of giving in, he started pacing again. He didn’t know what else to do.

Klaus did fall asleep eventually. He’d slept poorly the previous night, so he’d been running on hardly any sleep even before everything happened, so he wasn’t all that surprised to find himself slumped over in an armchair near Dave’s bed. Grace’s heels clicking across the floor had likely been what roused him, and when he glanced over, he was met with the sight of Dave, awake and alive, and he was pretty sure it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Grace was in the process of taking his blood pressure, so it took a moment before Dave saw he was awake as well, so at least he’d managed to get his facial expressions under control by then. He wasn’t sure what Dave would have seen otherwise.

“Hey,” Dave said with a smile. He still looked pale and weak, and he didn’t seem strong enough to sit up, but it was just so good to hear his voice.

“I turn my back for a second,” Klaus joked, but something like guilt flashed across Dave’s face, although he wasn’t sure why.

“I’ll need to monitor you for a bit. Try to get some rest,” Grace said, reaching over to ruffle Klaus’ hair before leaving.

Klaus had never really felt awkward around Dave. He had no shame anymore, so he rarely felt awkward around anyone. But Dave especially, they just got along too well, he had always felt completely comfortable around him. Right now, though, he felt awkward, mostly because of the revelation of how far he’d go to help Dave, and what that meant. Maybe there was something wrong with him. So he did what he always did and avoided the topic. Besides, there were other things they needed to talk about first.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened, or what?” he asked, scooting his chair over so he could lean on the edge of the narrow bed.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Dave said, bringing a hand up to rub tiredly at his face.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure most people would consider getting stabbed a big deal, but you’re lucky I’m not most people,” Klaus joked, trying to get him to stop looking so upset. “I am pissed that a fight went down and I wasn’t even invited, though.”

“I guess I do owe you an explanation,” Dave sighed. “I just mouthed off to the wrong people, it was bound to happen eventually, I guess.”

“Mr Katz, are you telling me you actually picked a fight?” Klaus said with exaggerated shock, hand over heart. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but then, I never claimed to be smart,” Dave tried to shrug but seemed to think better of it.

“Come on, don’t be stingy with the details,” Klaus prompted.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much more information for you,” Dave admitted. “I don’t even know who they were.”

“Wow,” Klaus said, struggling to think of a time Dave had actually seemed genuinely angry. Especially with strangers, he was usually the type just to ignore assholes and move on. It occurred to him that tbe two other fights he’d gotten into had been because of Klaus. Maybe he was a bad influence on him. “What did they even do to push your buttons that much?

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Dave said, sarcasm tingeing his words. “But I’m not exactly what people think of when they imagine the ideal soldier. I mean, they’re not supposed to be gay, or critical of the military, and they certainly don’t relapse six times in the last month alone.”

“Oh,” was all Klaus could say, because he hadn’t known, how could he? He and Dave had hardly spent any time together. But Dave always did seem so strong and confident, Klaus couldn’t help but assume sobriety was going well for him. Obviously he had his own struggles and Klaus mentally kicked himself for not paying better attention.

“Yeah,” Dave said, staring up at the ceiling. “My uncle is more like what people expect, which, fair enough. I don’t think these assholes were associated with the VA, I think they just happened to be passing by, but who knows. They’re not exactly above prejudice.”

“So, they started spewing bullshit, and you snapped?” Klaus asked skeptically.

“Not exactly,” Dave said. “I wanted to just ignore them, but then they started hassling a kid I’d seen around the VA, and that was when I snapped. Security chases us all off before a fight could break out, but they must have followed me.”

“We have got to get you better at spotting a tail.”

“Yeah, probably,” Dave said with an exhausted chuckle. “I don’t think they meant for this to go so far. One of them pulled out a switchblade he’d clearly never used before, and as soon as they saw blood, they all freaked out and ran away.”

“Not even gonna be professionals about this,” Klaus said, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Well, hopefully they got it out of their system and won’t be doing any more stabbing for a while. Maybe we should—”

“I’m sorry, can we talk about this later?” Dave said, closing his eyes. “I’m really tired.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Klaus said, taken by surprise. It had just been so nice to hear Dave’s voice again, he had to remind himself of the trauma he’d just survived. He shouldn’t be pushing him like this.

“Thanks,” Dave said, eyes still closed. “For everything.”

“Whatever,” Klaus said, waving a hand dismissively as he got up and headed for the door. “You’ve already bailed me out of a few tight spots, so we’ll call it even.”

On the other side of the door, he had to take a moment just to breathe. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. He wasn’t used to going through so many emotions in one night and he still felt shaky. Then again, maybe that was withdrawal. Good thing he still had a stash in his room.

While he was here, Klaus figured he might as well take advantage of the situation. He’d apparently slept through most of the day, and he spent the rest of it enjoying a ridiculously long bath. Then, he went to raid the kitchen. He had his head in the refrigerator with a drumstick in his mouth as he piled more food into his arms. But when he turned to spread his spoils out on the table, he heard the floorboards creak.

He froze guiltily, ready for his dad or Luther to storm in to tell him off, but after a moment, it became clear that no one was heading this way. And, whoever it was, they weren’t all that steady on their feet, walking slowly. Klaus abandoned the drumstick and went to peek around the corner to find Dave, back turned to him, making his way to the front door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Klaus said. “If you pull a stitch, Mom’s gonna be really disappointed in you, and no one wants that.”

Dave actually cursed under his breath at that, leaning heavily against the back of a chair. “You know,” he said, his voice artificially light. “I was trying to make this easier on the both of us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not continually forcing myself back into your life on purpose,” Dave said, turning to look at him. He looked utterly exhausted, barely keeping his feet under him. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at his curls in frustration. “I know you’d rather move on and you’ve already done a lot for me, you don't have to--”

“Whoa, no, no,” Klaus interrupted. “I tried to meet you. I mean, I was there, but then I got arrested.”

“Arrested?” Dave asked skeptically.

“Yeah! That’s why I found you, I’d only just gotten out and was hoping you’d stuck around. Very, very late, I know, but--”

“You don’t have to do this just to be nice.” Dave crossed his arms across his chest, looking more like he was holding himself, and Klaus didn’t think he’d ever looked so small.

“Hey, this is me, remember? When do I ever do anything just to be nice?” He walked over to Dave, placing a hand on his arm, just wanting him to know he was serious. Dave leaned into the touch, still not quite meeting his eyes as he took a deep shuddering breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I can lay it on pretty thick sometimes, and I think barging into your life like I did and punching that guy certainly counts. I was afraid of losing you, but I wasn’t thinking about what you wanted, and that isn’t fair of me.”

Klaus just stared at him for a moment, before he remembered he was supposed to say something. Usually, Klaus was the one being accused of being too much. No one had ever wanted him in their life like this, and no one had ever been so concerned with what he wanted.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” was all he could really think to say.

“And I have a stab wound,” Dave chuckled, but it sounded forced. “Promise you’re not just here because you feel like you have to be? I know I’ve been laying on sob story after sob story lately, I didn’t really want to get into all this, you shouldn’t have to worry about my crap. And I definitely don’t want you to feel like I’m twisting your arm”

“It’s cute you think you could possibly manipulate me, of all people,” Klaus said, patting his cheek. “I’m immune to sob stories.”

“That’s not—” Dave started, but trailed off, clearly frustrated and unsure how to get across what he was trying to say, so Klaus continued.

“Besides,” Klaus continued quickly. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been dealing with my crap for a while now, isn’t that what friends are supposed to do? That’s a genuine question, by the way, I have no idea.”

“I guess,” Dave said with an uncertain shrug.

“Well, don’t worry, this is completely selfish on my part. If I were a better person, I would have let you leave.”

“I’m selfish too because I’m glad you didn’t,” Dave admitted.

“I’m still not really sure how this is supposed to work, but—“ Klaus hesitated, so close to saying how completely he trusted Dave. Instead, he shifted direction. “Hey, maybe we deserve to be a little selfish.”

“If you’re willing to put up with the disaster I’ve made of my life, I think we can figure something out.”

“You’re a disaster? Have you met me?” Klaus said, gesturing to himself.

“I’ve just really been struggling,” Dave admitted, looking so completely hopeless and worn out. “I already told you about relapsing. Everything is just so hard and I’ve let it isolate me. I even let it pull me away from my best friend.” Here he gestured at Klaus, to his surprise. “I can’t live like this anymore. Something has to change.”

“What does that mean?” Klaus asked. “You’re not giving up, are you?”

“No,” Dave said with a heavy sigh. “I just have to figure it out, but right now I just feel helpless.”

Klaus didn't really know how he was supposed to reassure him when he didn’t even believe things were going to work out. He’d learned a long time ago not to hope for the best, so he couldn’t advise him, and he certainly couldn’t comfort him. At least he could help him back to bed before he started bleeding again. It was all he could do at this point.

“Come here,” Klaus said, reaching out to take Dave’s arm so he could help support him back to bed.

Apparently Dave misunderstood, though, because the next thing he knew, Klaus was being pulled into a hug. It took him completely by surprise and he froze up before remembering he was supposed to hug him back. Dave leaned into him slightly, a comfortable weight as Klaus helped support him and he hated how much he liked it. It felt safe and warm, completely surrounded by Dave, overwhelming all of his senses.

“Wait,” Dave said after a moment, and now he was the one freezing up. “You weren’t going in for a hug, were you?”

“No, I was going to help you back to bed, but this works too.”

“Wow,” Dave said, but he didn’t actually release him. “Well, this is awkward.”

“You’re such a dork,” Klaus chuckled. “Come on, give me your arm.”

“I think I’d rather sink into the floor,” Dave said, but he finally let him go, letting himself be led along, his face bright red. Klaus wasn’t sure if he was slouched, ducking his head slightly, from embarrassment or just the pain.

“You can do that later when you’ll actually be able to get back up again. You do that now and you’ll probably be stuck there.”

“That’s fine,” Dave said. “I think I’ll just live in a hole in the ground. Any chance you’d be willing to never mention this again?”

“Are you kidding? I’m gonna hold this over you every chance I get.”

It was so nice, getting back to their usual banter. He’d missed Dave, of course he had, but being with him was always so much better than he had remembered. He was just so much more fun, so much kinder and softer, more adventurous and so, so strong.

Klaus cleared his throat and forced himself to focus on something else. There he was, getting carried away again. He had no idea what to do with himself. Maybe there was no saving either of them in the end.

#klaus hargreeves #dave katz #klave #klaus x dave #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #fanfic #living for the moment #my fic

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trensu · 4 years

Text

Episode 45: The One where the Juniors Stick It to the Old People

Still in the demon subdue palace aka wwx's classy cave and wwx is putting ss on the spot and it's great

he's implying that su she is just the distraction or whatever so jgy can enact the Ultimate Evil Master Plan

oooh, i like this idiom he used here

"the mantis is catching the cicada, not aware of the bird behind it."

nice

I LOVE WATCHING WWX BE CLEVER

HE'S SO ATTRACTIVE DOING HIS DETECTIVE WORK

HE JUST BLUFFED HIS WAY INTO MAKING SU SHE REVEAL HIS HAND AND IT WAS AWESOME

he was all, why don't you prove me wrong and play the Totally Not Evil Magic Music you played before?? hm?

su she ofc didn't play it so wwx pulls out some papers from his robe and is like, that's alright i'll just have lqr read this sheet music i stole from your boss's secret chamber...

and then su she panics and tries to stop him but lwj launches bichen at su she like a boss

The only unbelievable thing here is that su she somehow managed to block bichen and send it right back to lwj tbh

(thus revealing he still had access to his own spiritual energy lol what a loser)

Lwj catches it gracefully and does a serious pose and side-eyes su she with all the venom he can muster lol

Ewww, su she just spat blood and disrupted the magic circle (bc he knows he’s been caught out)

lwj ofc tries to attack him again but su she is COWARD and teleports himself away

The puppets try to storm the place but wn is on them in an instant

Oh, lwj gets bichen ready to help but wwx grabs him by the arm to stop him

Wwx: it won’t work, don’t bother

Lwj doesn’t look happy about this but he lowers his sword anyway

sect leader yao starts talking but idc what he has to say

Wwx takes the time to spell out that ss is working for jgy and they’re both up to no good

Bc apparently all his detective-y exposition didn’t make it obvious enough

God, it must hurt wwx to be surrounded by idiots all the time...

wn is still fighting off puppets but he lets wwx know that he’s not gonna be able to hold them back for very much longer

The fact that he can hold them back by himself like this at all is amazing tbh

So lsz, being the protective badass sweetie pie that he is, immediately dives in after wn, offering to help!

Jin ling sees him do this and draws his sword to follow behind but jc stops him…

JC IS GIVING JL THE ZIDIAN

Lol Jc’s all like don't lose it! But jin ling doesn’t take it!!

He actually shoves his way passed jc and throws himself into the throng of puppets with just his father’s sword

Jc is FURIOUS, he’s all, get back here you idiot!!

Jin ling ofc doesn’t listen

Lsz: you should go back

JL: I won’t!

LSZ AND JL, I LOVE THEM SO. LOOK AT THOSE PRECIOUS BABIES BE BETTER PEOPLE THAN THE OLD FARTS IN THE CAVE

So now we have wn, lsz, and jl fighting off the puppets and protecting everyone

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WWX TOOK OFF HIS OUTER ROBE AND REVEALED LWJ'S UNDERTHINGS

wwx slices his fingers on bichen to start writing on lwj's white inner robes that he’s shamelessly wearing and displaying to the world

lwj watches him VERY INTENTLY, LOL

WWX IS USING HIMSELF AS BAIT!! THE MARKINGS ARE GONNA LURE THE PUPPETS TO HIM!!!

AND HANGUANG JUN IS GOING TO BE FIGHTING OFF THE PUPPETS THAT GET NEAR HIM

BC THEY'RE SOULMATES AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

AND THEY’RE A FANTASTIC TEAM OVERALL

Ljy tries to offer himself up as bait too but wwx is like nope! You all just stay out of our way

Ljy tries to protest but lwj cuts him off with a “listen to him.”

Then our boys share a brief look before throwing themselves into the fray

They look so cool here! Wwx lands steady on his feet with a solid thunk and brings his flute up to his (beautiful) lips

In contrast lwj slides in with sharp glide right next to wwx and gets battle-ready

LOOK AT MY SUNSHINE BOY PLAY HIS FLUTE LIKE A BOSS

God he looks so good when he’s focused like this

LOOK AT LWJ FIGHT OFF HUNDREDS OF PUPPETS LIKE A BADASS

Lwj is twirling around wwx so fast, fighting back every puppet that comes his way

Wwx is dodging any that get too close but he’s also smoothly bobbing and weaving around lwj’s attacks

THEY WORK SO SEAMLESSLY TOGETHER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

meanwhile wn helps clear the way for the rest of the cultivators to escape

cut to the cultivators swarmed around the exit of the burial mounds, yao is talking, yuck

sect leaders yao and ouyang are the worst.

they're all, let's just leave and go to lotus pier to recover!!

jc is like, you want us to leave just like that?? (YOU COWARDLY BASTARDS, he doesn’t say but i know in my heart that he’s screaming that in his head)

and the other guys are like, yeah, it's not like lwj and wwx are gonna survive that

jl is like BULLSHIT OFC THEY'LL COME BACK (i love my bratty son)

And Jin Ling is Right BC LWJ IS COMING OUT OF THE WOODS WITH WWX LEANING AGAINST HIM

Wwx looks all weak and worn out. Like, he’s leaning against lwj heavily and lwj is watching him all worriedly

Wwx knees buckle and he goes down, but thankfully since lwj still has his hands on him, he doesn’t fall hard

LSZ RUNS TO THEM AND IS LIKE R U OK???

POOR BABY IS SO WORRIED AND UPSET!!

Lwj still has his eyes glued on wwx but you can tell that he’s starting to feel weary from the battle too

wwx is like we're okay, don’t worry, AND THEN PASSES OUT

which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of okay, omg

Lwj does this little gasp and twitches towards wwx but thankfully lsz is able to catch wwx before he hit the ground

Lsz is frantically calling his name but wwx is completely out of it and all we hear him say in response is a very weak “a-yuan”

At that, lwj’s eyes shift from wwx to lsz and he just stares at him bc here is his son, frantic over wwx, his soulmate, and his son's other father.

And there is his soulmate, murmuring their son’s name

AND NEITHER OF THEM KNOW WHO THEY ARE TO ONE ANOTHER

BC LWJ KEEPS NOT TELLING THEM FOR SOME REASON??:?

cut to some docks on the river

fucking yao and ouyang are running their mouths again

i hate those losers, i'm ignoring what they're saying

oooh, wn is approaching the juniors. lsz specifically. jl gets all on guard.

lol all the other juniors cower away but lsz stands his ground.

aw ☹️ wn steps back when he sees the kids get all scared

now we're getting some info from lsz that's heavily implying that lsz is actually a-yuan.

wn is so excited here bc he might have a surviving family member! he's so happy!! It’s adorable!!!

wn: can i call you a-yuan?

lsz: ofc! (WITH THE SWEETEST SMILE!)

wn: a-yuan, how have you all these years?

Lsz: i’ve been living well!

EXCUSE ME A MOMENT. I'M DEF NOT CRYING. JUST GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. LIKE A TREE BRANCH OR EMOTIONS OR SMTH. IT'S FINE.

here we learn that lwj started taking care of lsz since he was about 5yo, and he taught him to play the guqin

WN GIVES HIM A LITTLE PAPER BUTTERFLY

AND HE FLASHES BACK TO A HAND GIVING HIM A PAPER BUTTERFLY AND IT'S SO OBVIOUSLY LWJ'S HAND

wn is all teary-eyed and tries to reach out to touch lsz's face

but jl draws his sword and startles them

lsz gets between them but jl is all like step aside, this is none of your bsns

lsz: jin ling, put your sword away first

jl: get away! *shoves lsz*

He regrets it IMMEDIATELY if the way his jerked forwards to, idk, grab him is anything to go by.

He holds himself back tho bc he’s cursed with pride and general awkwardness towards his crush like his father before him

lol everyone rushes to catch lsz bc lsz is a sweetie-pie and everyone loves him

wn is all it's okay if you're mad at me, i won't fight you but don't hurt lsz!

oyzz: he was caring for you! how could you push him and ignore his kindness?

omg oyzz really does have a sensitive soul. what a sweet boy.

then someone mutters smth like oh, he's so ill-bred and ofc jl hears it

jl: right! i'm just that awful, so what?

now we cut to lwj and wwx who are on one of the boats!

lwj has his guqin out and is playing magic music for wwx who's got his eyes closed and eyebrows are all pinched together

WWX IS SO BEAUTIFUL, EVEN WHEN HE'S OBVIOUSLY EXHAUSTED AND IN PAIN

lwj can hear the juniors bickering and wwx starts fussing in his sleep muttering jin ling jin ling

lwj: wei ying

and wwx startles awake

wwx: lan zhan, what happened?

lwj: you passed out

wwx: not me. i mean, jin ling?

ofc wwx doesn't care what happened to him, ofc he only cares about what happened to his nephew

lwj doesn't answer but they both hear the bickering on the docks

we cut back to the juniors

jl is like, yeah i'm awful but you can't discipline me!!

wwx: what is going on?

and we watch wwx exit the boat and make his way down the dock to where the juniors are

and i was thoroughly distracted by his slim waist in those swirling black robes and had to rewind to watch it again

jin ling looks like he's about to cry and he has wn at sword point and wwx is all gently telling jin ling to put his sword down

jl: i won't!

wwx: jin ling!

jl: no!

and then he has a meltdown. he's all like, so i'm acting childish, satisfied? AND MY POOR BRATTY SON STARTS SOBBING HIS LITTLE HEART OUT CLUTCHING HIS SWORD

jl: this is my father's sword, i won't put it down!

AND NOBODY IS GOING TO HIM. NOBODY GETS NEAR HIM OR TRIES TO HUG HIM AS HE CRIES WITH HIS WHOLE BODY, MY POOR LITTLE BOY

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS KID SOME GODDAMN AFFECTION ALREADY

LIKE, EVEN A PAT ON THE SHOULDER OR SOMETHING. ANYTHING!!

all the juniors look down awkwardly but wwx swallows back tears bc he knows that he's partially responsible for the way jin ling hurts rn. even lwj looks sympathetic

(oh, finally remembered that this is a kid in pain, huh, lwj?)

jc hears his nephew crying and comes out of his own boat

jc: a-ling! why are you crying? come here.

and jl goes running to him

and it's kind of sweet how he does it?? idk.

the lack of hesitation indicates that he sees jc as a safe person to run to and it's sweet, i guess.

jl starts scrubbing his face in his sleeve to get rid of the tears

jc: what's wrong? who made you cry?

i wouldn't say he asks this tenderly but his voice is softer and not nearly as sharp as it usually is when he talks to people

and you KNOW he’s ready and willing to rain hellfire on whoever made his nephew cry

jl doesn't answer but jc glares down the dock where everyone is standing

LOL EVERYONE LOOKS DOWN

THE JUNIORS, WWX, WN

THEY ALL AVOID JC'S GAZE AND HAVE THE GUILTIEST LOOKS ON THEIR FACES

lwj doesn't look away tho and his face is in its usual neutral state

but we all know how lwj and jc's relationship is so this is not surprising

then yao has to open his mouth again but what he says doesn't matter, it's how the juniors react that matters

oyzz is all like why are you using that tone? if wwx wanted to hurt us, we wouldn't have made it this far, right?

lsz: oyzz is right!

lol oyzz does this little chin thrust like heck yeah i'm right

LOL jc is like, sect leader ouyang, the mouthy kid is yours, isn't he? he's so good at talking

I LOVE WHEN JC GETS LIKE THIS.

HE SAYS IT SO MILDLY AND OUYANG LOOKS PAINED AS HELL

NHS SMIRKS IN THE BACKGROUND

IT'S GREAT

ouyang: zizhen, come here to your father

oyzz: father, you said i shouldn't disturb you

and his dad's all like, get over here right now and oyzz ducks behind lsz and says I WON'T

LOVE THAT KID LOL

his dad proceeds to scold him and nhs is giggling in the background, i LOVE it

some jiang disciple goes up to jc to let him know they're ready to set off to lotus pier

Jc to wwx: you're barefaced enough to go back there?

wwx looks stricken

lwj is watching his face closely, concerned bc his soulmate is hurting (again) bc of jc (again).

we make it to lotus pier by nightfall

Side note to mention that the scenery and music as they travel down the river to lotus pier is really beautiful

Everybody files in but jc stops in front of our boys and wn and doesn't budge until wn says he'll stay behind.

and even then he doesn't say our boys can come in, he just turns around and walks off

AWWWWWW

LSZ TELLS WN HE'S GOING TO STAY WITH HIM AND KEEP HIM COMPANY

WN IS SO SURPRISED AND HAPPY

AND OUR BOYS ARE WATCHING THIS HAPPEN

WWX IS ALL WIDE-EYED

He makes a move like he's going to join them and lwj stops him

lwj: let them be.

you know lwj, this would be a perfect time TO TELL WWX THAT LSZ IS HIS KID, HIS LITTLE A-YUAN.

but no, instead he just gazes at him soulfully

which, okay, i'm never gonna say no to soulful gazes BUT YOU CAN MULTITASK, CAN'T YOU??

LWJ, YOU CAN LOOK AT HIM WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART IN YOUR EYES AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME.

Oh, lwj and wwx are at the gates of lotus pier and wwx looks at the sign above the gates

his eyes get all red-rimmed and you can see his throat bob

BC HE'S HURTING.

BC THIS WAS HIS HOME WHERE HIS SISTER AND BROTHER LIVED AND LOVED HIM AND NOW HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY OF THAT

god the way lwj looks at him whenever these moments pop up...he knows exactly when wwx starts hurting inside and he keeps his eyes trained on him the entire time until wwx indicates he's ready to keep moving

we cut to a little moment between lsz and wn where lsz tells us how lwj raised him with a bunch of bunnies and it's adorable

We cut to sword hall where all the cultivators are gathered

jc gets called away and as he's going to tend to whatever it is he sees wwx try to go towards swords hall and glares at him

wwx literally had one foot over the threshold and he awkwardly drags it back out at jc's glare

poor wwx. he just looks awkward all over.

like, he looks down and away and gets kinda fidgety. can't meet jc's eyes. BUT HE STILL MAKES IT LOOK SO PRETTY

lwj on the other hand stares right back at jc, lol, to emphasize I'M NOT INTIMIDATED BY YOU EVEN IF THIS IS YOUR HOME I'M IN RN.

and only after that's, like, telepathically communicated or smth do his eyes flicker over to wwx to see how he's doing.

after jc stalks off, wwx does that cute little nose tap thing he does

wwx: lan zhan, sit down~

and he indicates the stoop with a playful smile

lwj looks at the stoop for like half a second before walking around wwx like NOPE, sitting on stoops is not a thing that hanguang jun does

wwx's mouth curls into a little scowl like fine, be that way.

he sits down on the stoop himself while lwj leans on the pillar next to it, eyes closed and arms crossed and basically looking like a very beautiful and elegant statute

LOLOLOLOL

WWX GOES TO SPRAWL BACK ONTO THE STOOP, RESTING ON ELBOWS

AND LWJ, WITH HIS EYES STILL CLOSED SAYS: No misbehavior.

HE KNOWS WEI YING SO WELL

wwx looks up at him and pouts but still straightens up so he's sitting properly

wwx starts to sulk and complain about how jc's been gone for so long when jc shows up with a couple of ladies following him

jc pauses to look at our boys and says "come on in" shortly and turns on his heel to enter swords hall

Lol wwx turns to look at lwj with a big smile on his face bc hey, look at that! jc invited them in!!

wwx and lwj just loiter awkwardly near the entrance of sword hall

now we're gonna get a whole bunch of exposition that we don't care much about

blah blah jgy arranged for jgs to die surrounded by prostitutes blah blah

blah blah jgy knowingly married his half-sister blah blah

and throughout all this exposition, wwx is the only one who asks questions and looks for more details.

the rest of them are all willing to take everything at face value which really just explains everything about how they all ended up in this mess, tbh

we also keep getting reaction shots from jin ling and it makes me sad.

he does the death grip on his sword, and looks shocked and confused at every revelation, poor boy.

and the episode ends as the crowd starts to get riled up over all this brand new information

Which honestly is a relief bc things were getting WAY TOO PLOTTY for my tastes

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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meta-squash · 4 years

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God’s Own Country and the importance of major character flaws

Here, have yet another long analytic ramble about God’s Own Country and the incredible characters in this film.

An aspect of God’s Own Country that I really appreciate is how realistic and human the characters all are. It’s going to seem strange to say, but I think some of the most “problematic” (for lack of a better term) flaws in Johnny are the most important. I’ve seen criticisms about how his actions are unhealthy or toxic or problematic but I don’t think that’s quite true. I think it’s a good indication of how and why people use unhealthy behaviors as coping mechanisms, and how and why they start to unlearn them.

We are introduced to Johnny at an extremely low point in his life. Now, obviously, we don’t get a huge backstory for him. We know Martin had a stroke, and that now Johnny has had to take over most of the duties of the farm when before he presumably was just a second hand to his father. We can infer from his conversation with Robyn outside of the pub that he had some kind of dreams for the future and getting out (even if they were vague) that were dashed when his father fell ill. And we can infer from that conversation that Johnny had been much happier as a child or teenager and has gotten more depressed and hostile as he grew older. We know his mum left when he was very young, young enough that he doesn’t really remember her.

So he’s very low at the opening of the film. It seems as though this lambing season is the first major event on the farm since Martin’s stroke, and it’s only serving to make Johnny feel worse. He’s angry, he feels stuck, he’s lonely and depressed and overwhelmed. He feels pushed by Martin’s demands and criticisms and inferior whenever he makes mistakes but he’s clearly trying to hold it together. He cares, deep down--I think his reaction to the dead calf is a big indication of that--but I think he also desperately wants to keep those walls up. His coping mechanisms are drinking and lashing out at anyone and everyone around him, regardless of who they are. He keeps everyone at arms’ length by being a hostile, angry person because he can’t handle it. He feels like shit about himself and about his situation and he doesn’t really know how to express his feelings except through unhealthy coping mechanisms and lashing out.

This lashing out is connected to my next thought.

Francis Lee said in that livestream interview last week, and another article as well, that part of the film was inspired by a Romanian friend of his and that friend’s experience with xenophobia in the UK. The first few interactions between Gheorghe and Johnny are characterized by Johnny making casual racist remarks towards Gheorghe. It’s already been established that Johnny is angry and hitting out at everyone, so I think it makes sense that he’s going to try his best to push this stranger away. Especially because he sees the addition of Gheorghe as evidence that he’s inadequate and a fuckup, and it makes him desperate to prove himself by trying to be as independent as possible. I mean, he’s literally refusing gloves and a jacket from his nan. He’s defensive and angry to the point of being completely unable to accept any help or kindness, practically self-destructive via the elements, and yet we can tell it’s got nothing to do with the actual people he’s lashing out at and everything to do with his own fears and insecurities and depression.

So he’s lashing out, calling Gheorghe “g*psy” and “g*ppo” and aside from the racist names and the rude, brusque way he makes comments, he barely talks to Gheorghe. And yet Gheorghe completely sees through him. The “I know what you’re doing” scene isn’t just Gheorghe calling him out on his racism in general, it’s also Gheorghe calling him out on the way he’s trying desperately to use racism to get Gheorghe to leave because he wants to prove he can do it on his own. As soon as he’s confronted, Johnny doesn’t just stop saying racist comments, he also relaxes considerably; before that moment he literally won’t even look at Gheorghe. Once that confrontation goes down and it’s obvious Johnny is all bark and no bite, he starts looking Gheorghe in the eye, glancing at him as he’s working. The little racist comments I think are really important because they’re an indication of how fucked up Johnny is, that he would go that far, but also that they are just a tool to push people away, and not necessarily something he actually feels. Or if it’s comments he makes out of a sort of “back-country” ignorance, he fairly quickly unlearns them. The calf scene, the conversation with Robyn, Johnny’s obvious depression, all indicate that at heart Johnny is caring and gentle and sensitive, but he’s built all these walls of anger and defensiveness and spiky bullshit in order to keep himself from getting hurt, in order to protect himself from more disappointment.

And I don’t think Gheorghe intentionally breaks down those walls, either. That confrontation is just that, a confrontation. It’s Gheorghe telling Johnny to stop his bullshit. But Gheorghe is also a natural carer and his gentleness in the scene where Johnny hurts his hand plus his no-bullshit way of dealing with Johnny’s projected anger and hurt I think solidifies into something in Johnny. It’s the beginning of him realizing that touch and connection can be a comforting thing.

Similarly, it’s established at the beginning that Johnny uses both sex and drinking as coping mechanisms. He absolutely does not let emotion in, everything impersonal and anonymous and quick. He doesn’t allow himself to be touched by others in sexual situations; he is always the one in control. Gheorghe changes this for him, allows him to open up and enjoy touch and enjoy emotional connection and general recognize sex and intimacy as something good and comforting.

But people don’t just change overnight. Or in a couple weeks, as it were. Johnny has spent who knows how long using casual sex and drinking to cope and to keep himself aloof and distant from people. And in the week or so with Gheorghe he’s had so much of his perspective changed around and has learned so much about himself and human connection and emotion and being able to let someone else in. He has built up this happiness inside himself for the first time in probably years. And it all comes crashing down with Martin’s second stroke. I think at first Johnny is unusually optimistic because Gheorghe is there and he’s kind of lovestruck in a way. He has these little ideas of Gheorghe staying on and being with him and the two of them working the farm together to help Martin. But when he realizes that Martin isn’t going to get better, I think that balloon of happiness pops and reality comes crashing down and Johnny can’t deal.

He’s spent so long building up this spiky carapace of rude reticence and aloofness and supporting it with a layer of unhealthy coping mechanisms, that when the shit hits the fan he doesn’t know how to deal with his own vulnerability and desperately returns to his old ways.

The conversation in the pub between Gheorghe and Johnny where they talk about their relationship is Johnny desperately trying to cling to that happiness and hope he had before his conversation with Dierdre. He wants so badly to be with Gheorghe and work the farm with him, but he’s also just had this crushing realization that he can’t really have any other dreams but that. So when Gheorghe presses him to think more about the consequences of what he’s thinking, presses him to realize that it won’t work to hide their relationship or keep working on the farm the way he’s been doing, it’s another added weight to the reality that’s already crushing him. He knows Gheorghe is right, I think. But he’s regressing back to the beginning of the film, those old coping mechanisms, that inability to accept help or advice no matter how good it is, that inability to think reasonably about what he wants because it’s hard enough for him to accept that he wants it in the first place.

He’s upset, and he’s worried and scared and hurting about Martin, and confused about his relationship with Gheorghe as well because he wants to be with him but doesn’t know how to move forward with that in a way Gheorghe will like. So he does what he knows has worked in the past: he reverts to his old coping mechanisms of drinking and anonymous sex.

Johnny is absolutely to blame for his actions, and they’re unhealthy behaviors in the first place, made worse by the fact that only moments ago he had been talking to Gheorghe about wanting to continue and potentially advance their relationship. But Johnny’s own insecurities and hurts get in the way.

I think at this point, Johnny isn’t really intending to hurt Gheorghe, not directly. I think the only person he’s intending to hurt is himself. He spent the whole first part of the movie with such self-destructive coping mechanisms, and who knows how long he used them as a crutch before Gheorghe got there. He’s not going to be able to rid himself of them in just a couple of weeks, just like he’s not going to be able to rid himself of his depression and self-hatred in just a couple of weeks. And I think most of his negative emotions here have more to do with Martin and the farm and the future and his ability to “manage” than his feelings for Gheorghe. So he fucks Robyn’s student friend in the toilets because it’s a coping mechanism that’s familiar, because it’s a way he’s used before to distance himself from his own vulnerability and his own emotions. He can’t revert to anger because he knows Gheorghe’s right, upset as he is. So he reverts to trying to shove his feelings away and hide them in impersonal physical gratification.

He’s not really thinking about anything but killing his thoughts and feelings until he gets out of the toilets and sees Gheorghe gone and even that I think doesn’t quite jar him out of it, especially considering he’s probably about as pissed as we saw him at the beginning of the film. When Gheorghe rushes him at the front of the car, Johnny absolutely knows what he’s done. He knows he fucked up, but I think he has no idea how to fix it because he has no idea how to express all the things tangled up inside him. He also has no idea how to fix it because I think he’s just resigned himself to his previous tendencies of fucking up his relationships (romantic or not) with people--as Robyn seemed to hint at--so that he just kind of absorbs it in the “I fucked up again” kind of way that he absorbed the calf death and the fallen wall. He’s upset, because he feels like he should be able to handle it and manage, but he’s not surprised, because he’s got this track record of people telling him he fucked up, and him knowing he fucked up, and having no idea how to communicate apology or even how to tell people what caused the fuckup or what his feelings are about it.

But, like he started to unlearn his racist hostility bullshit, Johnny also starts to figure out that he has to learn how to communicate if he’s going to get Gheorghe back. That’s where I think this stops being unhealthy or toxic.

Because it takes longer than a week or two and the beginning of a romance to unlearn unhealthy behaviors and coping mechanisms. Especially in a time that’s already stressful and upsetting. But Johnny does realize that in order to even have the potential to get Gheorghe back, he’s going to have to talk, to communicate his feelings.

And this time I think they’re a lot simpler than the more complex emotions regarding Martin and the farm and his responsibilities and seeing himself as a fuckup regarding all that. I think the reason this is his jumping off point for starting to learn how to communicate is because he knows what he’s feeling and he knows what he wants the results of his communication to be. He loves Gheorghe, he wants to have a proper relationship with him, and he wants to Gheorghe to come back so they can work the farm together. That’s something he’s able to express, both because his feelings about it are so, so intense, and because they’re fairly straightforward. I don’t think he’d be able to really talk about everything regarding Martin and the farm at this point; it’s too complicated and tangled up and I’m sure there’s more there from before the point where the film jumps in.

I think it’s also really interesting to see how different his apologies are in the beginning of the film and the end here; you can see how much he’s grown and learned and you can see him being able to actually express himself.

Because the other apology we kind of see is after he and Martin argue in front of Gheorghe in the barn. Johnny says Martin is “fucking fucked” and then immediately goes quiet and dismissive. We don’t hear the conversation between Martin and Johnny outside the barn, but I imagine whatever sort of apology Johnny might have issued to Martin was awkward and stilted. Even if he simply said he was sorry, his apology or at least his guilt is fairly obvious in his body language. But whatever apology he gave, while clear and probably fairly simple, it pretty obviously also held a fraction of resentment.

There’s a big difference between Johnny’s heartfelt but poorly communicated apology to Gheorghe and his somewhat communicated but less heartfelt apology to Martin. His apparent apology to Martin is awkward, resentful, but simple; it gets the point across but it’s also not totally genuine because Johnny is still angry and feeling inferior about himself.

But his apology to Gheorghe in Scotland is stumbling, rambling, kind of poorly communicated, but totally genuine. This is the first time we ever hear Johnny mention even considering trying to talk to someone. It reminds me of the hospital scene when Gheorghe prompts, “Don’t you want to speak to the doctor?” as though he’s encouraging this kind of communication that Johnny isn’t used to. Now he’s understanding the need to speak in order to get his feelings and desires across and to mend things with others. He’s still learning how to communicate his emotions verbally, and I think Gheorghe knows this; he’s seen how much he’s grown in the past two weeks. But the effort Johnny makes is also important because it’s the first healthy thing he’s done that hasn’t been sort of gently guided or encouraged by Gheorghe. It’s certainly influenced by Gheorghe’s past encouragements, but it’s a decision Johnny makes all on his own. If this had happened at the beginning of the film, he probably would have gotten angry, kicked something, and given up. Now, he’s grown enough to realize that he doesn’t need to give up, but he does need to make an effort.

It’s hard to make that much progress in a couple weeks. There’s no indication of how long Gheorghe is gone for, I imagine it’s probably a week or so, but I think it was long enough that Johnny’s feelings solidified into something he could not only acknowledge, but actually communicate (unlike his more nebulous and complex feelings about Martin and the farm). But it’s also his first time ever really saying this much, and being this openly emotionally in a purely verbal way: his entire monologue to Gheorghe involves no physical contact between them. I said in my last post that I think that’s deliberate on Johnny’s end; he knows that if they have physical touch between them, he won’t be able to get out what he needs to say. His apology to Gheorghe is so confused and stumbling. He almost doesn’t even get it out because he’s so upset and yet so uncertain about how to express himself. And yet he does apologize, and he does explain himself and his desires and in doing that, expresses a desire to grow and change and get better. “I don’t wanna be a fuck-up anymore” isn’t just about the farm. It’s about his ability to express himself, and his coping mechanisms, and his relationship with his family as well as Gheorghe.

This extremely long ramble is basically my roundabout way of saying I think the really big flaws in Johnny: his racist comments, his fucking around and cheating, are really important parts of the storyline and aren’t toxic or encouraging toxicity at all. Instead, they’re there to show the growth and development of the character and they’re important because of the way he unlearns these behaviors. Those flaws are there to show how hard it is to change, but how important it is to want to change and to work toward it. They’re also there to show how hard communication is for Johnny, and how far he’s come since the beginning. Even if he’s not perfect, even if his style of communication is still very basic and fumbling, the fact that he’s trying at all, without outside encouragement, shows a desire to change and an initiative and hope and openness that Johnny absolutely did not have at the beginning of the film.

#god's own country #god's own country meta #i'm so verbose oh my god #this is practically an essay so i felt the need to title it

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ayellowcurtain · 4 years

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Can you write about Sander being really jealous of Jens because Robbe has been spending too much time just with him and not the others broerrrs? // maybe Sander having his own little group of college frinds to talk about Robbe

It’s very late, Sander can tell by how Robbe’s flat is nearly empty, the music playing is very random, someone clearly forgot to keep the party playlist going, but none of that matters.

Sander grabs his beer from the coffee table, feeling how warm it is, but he puts it against his lips anyway, drinking when Robbe reappears, talking enthusiastically with Jens. Always Jens.

He looks down as soon as Robbe moves his eyes from Jens’ to look at him.

Sander knows he’s being unfair and maybe childish, but he can’t make up his mind, ever. They’re not talking now, Robbe tried to reach out countless times after their fight and he always ignored him and then tonight he decided to come to this party, knowing well it was at Robbe’s flat.

Obviously, he had an amazing excuse to come. And he was so thankful when his sister opened the door for him. Zoe frowned and was in his way to get inside, but at least it wasn’t Robbe opening the door.

“What are you doing here?” She asked after a second of shock.

“What? It’s your party. Can’t I come to your place?” Zoe tilted her head to the side, lifting one eyebrow and Sander rolled his eyes.

“What, Zoe…” He whispered in a defeated sigh. She knows him too well and Sander hates it. Robbe was a fucking asshole to him, said things Sander wouldn’t say to his worst enemy and yet, he came because he misses Robbe too much and Zoe just wants him to say it, to beg her to let him in to see Robbe.

“You need to learn at some point about having actual relationships, you know? You’re getting too old for friends with benefits.” She finally stepped aside and Sander got in, ignoring her words of wisdom. “And what a surprise, Robbe is home so don’t make a scene. This is his house too, not yours.”

Sander ignored her again and moved away, looking around, trying to say to himself that he’s just examining the room, not looking for a brown hair boy using oversized clothes to hide how ridiculously hot he is.

Now he’s still here, drinking as much as he can, even warm beer, secretly watching Robbe all night long, craving his touch and his kisses, even Robbe’s attention. He knows he can have all that back as soon as he wants to, but his pride won’t let him get up and pull Robbe aside to finally have a conversation.

Robbe is waiting for it. Sander tries to avoid meeting his eyes, but he’s very aware of Robbe’s gaze always on him, hoping for any sign of a truce. Zoe is not completely wrong, Sander is getting too old to play these games.

The difference is that it’s Robbe. Is not Britt or any other girl Sander has ever hooked up with. Robbe is so much different and they’ve been doing this for so long. Sometimes they spent weeks apart, months when Sander tried to have a relationship with Britt, but they always came back to each other without feeling any type of guilt for hooking up with others. Being with Robbe feels like home at this point.

Sander never had this feeling before, his actual family and home life are a mess. Zoe is the only one he cares about. Or she was the only one he cared about until he met Robbe almost three years ago.

But it’s not because they’re a perfect match that Sander will let Robbe treat him like shit, accusing him of the worse things. He was drunk and jealous, but there’s no excuse of accusing Sander of getting him drunk to take advantage of him. Just thinking about, reliving their fight, makes Sander angry and upset.

Senne snaps his fingers in front of Sander’s eyes, raising his eyebrows when he finally gets Sander’s attention back on him.

“You’re drooling, bro.”

“Shut up....” Sander finishes his beer, leaving the empty bottle on the coffee table already filled with a bunch of beers, cigars, joints, and ashtrays. “Does he need to be constantly all over Jens? Where are the others?”

Jens is Robbe’s best friend, they’re always together and Sander hates it. Especially now that he’s not as close to Robbe and Jens is happy to take over his spot too.

“Robbe is not fucking the others, so…” Sander looks at him, feeling his jaw hurt from how much he’s clenching his teeth. Robbe is not fucking Jens, Sander knows that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less just the thought of that happening. “Hey, it’s a joke, you know I’m kidding!”

Sander gets up, ignoring Senne while he walks to the kitchen, ignoring too as he walks by Robbe and Jens still talking, so unnecessarily close to each other.

Zoe and the girls are all sitting around the small kitchen table, whispering and laughing loudly and Sander rolls his eyes, bending down to find a beer hiding deep inside the old fridge, he closes the fridge and grabs his phone, texting his sister.

Is Robbe fucking Jens?

He looks from the corner of his eyes to see her first reaction. When she reads it, Zoe instantly frowns, looking at him before answering his text.

What?? No! What the fuck…

Sander exhales, opening his beer and leaving the girls alone in the kitchen. He stops in the hall, thinking about leaving without saying goodbye. It was a bad idea coming here tonight.

It was a bad idea to start this friendship with benefits kind of thing with Robbe too. He’s too good for that and Sander tried to ignore it the whole time, keeping his feelings buried very deep inside of him for the first time in his life.

The music changes in the living room and Sander looks at the shadows starting to dance again, he recognizes Jens’ tall figure and rolls his eyes, drinking his beer at once, pushing himself to stand up on his feet, leaving the empty bottle at the bench they have in the hall to put their bags and shoes.

As he puts his leather jacket back on, staring at the familiar brown jacket hanging right next to his, he notices someone back at the door at the other end of the hall, but he doesn’t look back to check who’s watching him.

“Where are you going?” Sander knew it was him. Still, he doesn’t look back, he rests his whole body flat against the front door, closing his eyes.

“Home.”

“So….you’re just leaving? Without talking to me…?” Sander whines to himself, feeling so stupid for having such a weak spot for Robbe and his cute voice and everything that he is. Their kisses are so good. Sander doesn’t even know how to describe it, but he still remembers the feeling and how happy and alive Robbe makes him feel when he whines against his lips when Sander tries to make them stop making out.

Robbe is not close, but Sander can imagine his warmth and soft eyes, anxiously waiting for Sander to turn around and talk to him and so he obeys, turning around, leaning his back against the door. “What do you want me to say? You were very clear the last time!”

Robbe takes a deep breath and looks away to his right like he always does when he doesn’t know how to go about the situation. “Sander…”

The boring music is still playing a few meters from them, but Sander is sure he can hear Robbe’s tongue wetting his lips as he swallows hard, searching for the right words to say. Sander doesn’t wait though. “I’m leaving, Robbe, because I miss you too much. Is that what you want to hear? I’m leaving because I can’t keep watching you without kissing your lips, watching you be all flirty with fucking Jens of all people.”

Robbe comes closer and Sander closes his eyes, he can’t look or he’ll give in. That’s the problem. Sander never had to contain himself with Robbe. Whenever he wanted to kiss him, Sander could just walk up to him and kiss his beautiful lips, most of the time, Robbe would smile against his lips, already putting his arms around Sander’s neck.

A couple of times Sander was an asshole. Robbe was talking to someone else, clearly flirting and Sander just ignored, stepping in between them and kissing Robbe, giving whoever it was a good show, quietly telling them that they had absolutely no chance of having Robbe, not even for a minute, for a kiss.

And even if Robbe got angry or embarrassed, he never pushed Sander away and, even better, he never stayed with the other person. Sander would hold his hand, dragging him away, probably taking him home from there, and Robbe always came with him. Robbe gets him like nobody else.

“So why don’t you kiss me? Please…” Robbe’s fingers gently wrap around Sander’s jacket, but for one second, Sander really tries to stay still, not making it easier for Robbe to pull him closer. “I already said I’m sorry so many times...Fuck, I know you miss me too, just give me a chance to redeem myself.”

Robbe steps closer and Sander opens his eyes just enough to see Robbe’s lips very close to his, the left corner turning slightly up and Sander looks at his dimples and how beautiful Robbe is, even when you can see the very minimum of him.

“I can’t do this anymore,” He finally lets Robbe pull him closer to his body, actually smiling when Sander moves like Robbe wants him to. “this hooking up bullshit.” Robbe opens his lips slightly, but Sander continues as he makes Robbe walk back to his bedroom door. “I wanna be your boyfriend, Robbe.”

His words make Robbe finally stop, still holding his jacket tightly.

“You want...a relationship? With me?” He asks and Sander can hear the surprise in his voice, but it sounds like a good surprise.

“Yes. Or we’re done.” Robbe lets go of his jacket and Sander thinks that that’s his answer. He sinks inside himself, not knowing what to do, so he just stares as Robbe opens his bedroom door, walking back until he’s in the privacy of his room and then he pulls his shirt by the collar and over his head, throwing it on the floor.

Sander’s mouth gets instantly dry and he looks to both sides of the hall, there’s nobody around, everyone is still at the living room and Robbe is still there, waiting for him.

“I don’t want us to be done.” Robbe finally says with a rougher voice, fixing his hair and he smiles when Sander finally remembers how his legs work and he finally gets inside, locking the door.

#wtfock #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #robbe x sander #sobbe

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captain-sodapop · 4 years

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Don’t even get me started on Dean’s mischaracterization by the fandom

You bet your ass I have a lot to say about this.

I almost don’t even know where to begin. So I guess we’ll start by my saying this: I love Dean Winchester. Like...obviously. There are a lot of reasons why, and they’re not all just because I find him...insanely attractive. I can relate to his oldest sibling struggles; I love what a total goober he can be, his selflessness, his concern for humanity as a whole, his defiance, his dorkiness, and the way he has evolved over the years. He’s like Shrek - he has layers. Especially now that the boys have been in the bunker for seven years, we can see a more domestic, gentler side to him. He’s a caregiver, he loves his family and friends, he doesn’t take any shit. Dean Winchester, like many of the characters on this show, has many admirable qualities.

But he is also deeply flawed.

From a writing point of view, if Dean were perfect in every way, like a superhero, he would be so fucking boring, so he’s more entertaining and realistic as a character with flaws. Dean is an alcoholic with anger issues; he is incredibly impulsive; he’s constantly putting his foot in his mouth and saying either incredibly insensitive things or poorly-timed jokes; he often views situations as his way or the highway (which to me is why Sam is a much more effective leader than Dean is - not because Dean isn’t smart or is incapable, but because he sometimes becomes something of a...well, a dictator, as he has admitted to seeing himself as in his darkest moments.) Dean is a really smart guy, too, don’t get that twisted, but he has been shown at times to be somewhat...ignorant. He is a brilliant tactician, street smart, in-tune to the emotions of others, and is very culturally savvy, but due to a myriad of reasons, he did not have the education that Sam has, or is programmed like Cas to “not get words wrong” or know a bunch of the weird mysteries of the universe. The fact that he isn’t formally educated in itself is not a flaw, but there’s definitely an ignorant streak in him that I think you can see in his devolving bigotry towards supernatural creatures and almost a lack of knowledge of what’s going on in the world around him (remember how Sam was the one in 13x23 who brought all the Apocalypse World refugees up to speed?)

These qualities can all coexist with each other. Dean can be an adorable, smart, old-school nerd who watches Jeopardy! every night (which I would love to see) and not be as traditionally educated as Sam. And that’s okay. He can love deeply and fiercely and still be a complete and utter jackass at times. And that’s okay. He can stand up to the authorities of the universe and still turn around and boss people around. And that’s okay. He can admit to loving rom-coms and then turn around and don his mask of traditional masculinity. And that’s okay. And he can go from making burgers and giving Jack his robe to keep warm to screaming at the top of his lungs because he is angry and scared and frustrated and doesn’t know what’s coming next. And that’s okay.

The reason I’m saying these things are okay is not because I’m excusing Dean for being an asshole sometimes, but because it makes him a more realistic, balanced character that is interesting to the audience. Perfection is completely unrealistic. Problem is, a lot of Dean stans - while they know these flaws are a part of him - are not willing to accept that sometimes, Dean is wholly in the wrong. They try to shift blame and skew the narrative so that Sam, Cas, Jack, Mary...practically everyone Dean loves are responsible for his behavior.

Which is bullshit.

Dean is the only person responsible for his actions. The mischaracterization by the fans comes in when they fail to accept this as fact. They want Dean to be the idealized version in their heads, and use the people he loves as scapegoats for his behavior.

The most egregious example of this is, probably to no one’s surprise, season nine. Co-dependence aside, I think Dean really thought he was doing the right thing by saving Sam. The Winchesters don’t live by the same rules as everyone else, so he thinks it’s just the thing to do to bring Sam back from the brink of death and save him no matter the cost, no matter what Sam himself wants. Not that Sam wants to be dead, but the way in which Dean had to save him was...very violating and eventually had tremendous repercussions. Did Dean mean for any of that to happen? No. Was Sam right to say that he didn’t want to be brothers anymore? Probably not, but I also understand where he was coming from and don’t think he completely meant it and was instead trying to both hurt Dean and express his anger at the situation. But at the end of the day, Dean still made all the choices for himself, and Sam’s anger was completely justified.

Look again at season eight. The situation is completely reversed: Dean is in Purgatory, Sam is on Earth with a dog and a house and a woman he loves. Sam is trying to process his grief and move on with his life. He was completely, utterly alone and rudderless without Dean and Cas. This is...normal. People important to you die, and it’s devastating, but Sam was trying to move forward because bringing people back usually has terrible consequences. Sam is not wrong for doing this. He is not. He is not to blame. Dean has forgiven him for this. Regardless of what you think of Amelia and the nitty-gritty of the storyline, Sam is not at fault for how Dean chose to react to his choices. It’s understandable that Dean would be upset by Sam choosing a normal grief process because of their past choices, but he has since forgiven him.

Neither brother is better than the other for the choices they make because they have both done right and they have both done wrong by themselves, each other, and others. Same goes for characters such as Cas, Mary, and Jack. At the end of the day, none of the main characters are any worse or better than the others.

So a lot of fans might get the classic rock, the drinking, the love of cartoons and Jeopardy!, the love for his family and his kitchen...but it often stops there. They ignore his faults - or simply say his aren’t as egregious - and blame others, or they try to prove that he’s smarter than Sam, or more righteous than Cas, or that Jack or Mary or whoever don’t deserve even the time of day from him because he’s so superior. Fucking bullshit.

I am good with a Dean Winchester that constantly gaffes, prefers slasher flicks to books, and wears every emotion - good and bad - on his sleeve. I do not need him to be the smartest, most righteous, morally superior person in the room. He is who he is, the good and the bad, and he has evolved as a character every season to become a truer version of himself, and as Dean himself says: “I’m good with who I am...and maybe I’m just too damn old to want to change that.”

#oop kinda went off #dean winchester #dean bean #supernatural #dean meta #abby speaks

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whitehotharlots · 4 years

Text

No one is gonna “gaslight” you about the pandemic. They don’t need to

I took a break from my daylong panic attack to read through a piece that I saw dozens of people sharing on social media. If you’re in the mood to take a glimpse into the abyss of hopelessness, give it a read.

This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read, but it’s instructive in the sense that it shows us just how absolutely liberalism is not prepared to handle the current moment. If this is the intellectual vanguard of the #Resistance (and judging by those who have shared it, it seems to be), then we should begin mentally preparing ourselves not just for Trump’s reelection but for the very real possibility that he’s just going to be president forever.

The piece is called “Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting,” so right away you know where it’s coming from. “Gaslighting,” has recently surpassed “mansplaining” as the liberal buzzterm that’s become the most meaningless due to overuse. It used to refer specifically to emotional manipulation. Now it basically means “anything that a liberal doesn’t like.” Liberals read a neurotic amount of importance into petty matters of taste and interpersonal relations. They begin, at times, to understand social problems in a structural sense, but they always--always--turn their analysis back to meaningless bullshit that takes place on an individual level. The liberal would never be so gauche as to indict an entire system, no matter how at fault it may obviously be. Instead, he will place blame upon the individuals within the system, those selfish and savage brutes who betrayed the magnanimous intentions of society’s elite engineers.

This author’s analysis is unsurprisingly very muddy. He mentions, correctly, that there is an eerie serenity to scenes of American cityscapes already being reclaimed by nature. He cannot, however, decide whether or not this is a good thing. This is because of the liberal’s fundamental ambivalence toward malignant social structures. Their ethos is founded on pretending to sympathize with society’s misbegotten, but their status and jobs and personal standing demand that they also apologize profusely for the institutions that reap so much misery upon us. This neurosis is somewhat politically viable only because it usually goes unspoken--and that’s why this piece is worth digging into, since it’s so rare to see them attempt to actually articulate this shit.

The author realizes that our society is deeply poisoned. In a twist, he says that such a sad state is not due to any of the litany of usual, intersectional reasons, but because of the pace at which our social lives are conducted. I am dead serious:

The cat is out of the bag. We, as a nation, have deeply disturbing problems. You’re right. That’s not news. They are problems we ignore every day, not because we’re terrible people or because we don’t care about fixing them, but because we don’t have time. Sorry, we have other shit to do. The plain truth is that no matter our ethnicity, religion, gender, political party (the list goes on), nor even our socioeconomic status, as Americans we share this: We are busy. We’re out and about hustling to make our own lives work. We have goals to meet and meetings to attend and mortgages to pay — all while the phone is ringing and the laptop is pinging.

The problem is, see, that we’re thinking about stuff wrong. Not that the ruling elite are openly corrupt or anything. Oh no. I mean, they must be since they’re about to gaslight us, but also they’re not, they’re basically okay:

The greatest misconception among us, which causes deep and painful social and political tension every day in this country, is that we somehow don’t care about each other. White people don’t care about the problems of black America. Men don’t care about women’s rights. Cops don’t care about the communities they serve. Humans don’t care about the environment. These couldn’t be further from the truth. We do care. We just don’t have the time to do anything about it. Maybe that’s just me. But maybe it’s you, too.

Again, he’s coming to the precipice of a worthwhile realization--that we all know society is unsustainable but we can’t do anything about it--but he has to pull back so as to avoid implicating any of the people who actually wield power. That’s the main thrust of contemporary liberalism: sure, society may be fucked, but that’s your fault, not ours.

The ending is a tour de force of empty liberal platitudes that is breathtaking in its ability to place blame upon anyone and anything aside from the people and things that are actually to blame:

From one citizen to another, I beg of you: take a deep breath, ignore the deafening noise, and think deeply about what you want to put back into your life. This is our chance to define a new version of normal, a rare and truly sacred (yes, sacred) opportunity to get rid of the bullshit and to only bring back what works for us, what makes our lives richer, what makes our kids happier, what makes us truly proud. [ … ]

We can do that on a personal scale in our homes, in how we choose to spend our family time on nights and weekends, what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat, and what we choose to spend our dollars on and where. We can do it locally in our communities, in what organizations we support, what truths we tell, and what events we attend. And we can do it nationally in our government, in which leaders we vote in and to whom we give power. If we want cleaner air, we can make it happen. If we want to protect our doctors and nurses from the next virus — and protect all Americans — we can make it happen. If we want our neighbors and friends to earn a dignified income, we can make that happen. If we want millions of kids to be able to eat if suddenly their school is closed, we can make that happen. And, yes, if we just want to live a simpler life, we can make that happen, too. But only if we resist the massive gaslighting that is about to come. It’s on its way. Look out.

Just… dear god. Dear god.

We are not facing a crisis of conscientiousness. We are not suffering through mass existential dread because we weren’t mindful enough or didn’t make the right consumer choices or didn’t, like, live in the moment, man. We are staring down the absolute end stage of global capitalism and the complete abandonment of all the pretenses associated with liberal democracy. We are at the start of a very different and much worse stage of existence.

This is why the piece’s central conceit, gaslighting, is so fucking annoying. Because if we’ve learned nothing else from the past 12 years (and apparently we haven’t), it’s that the ruling elite do not need to bother establishing pretense any longer. No one thought the recent Corona bailout was anything other than an upward transfer of wealth and a complete abandonment of the wretched--no one even bothered to argue otherwise, because they knew they didn’t need to. At least a half dozen US senators received advance notice of the pandemic’s severity, and instead of warning people or otherwise working to help their constituents, they sold off stock and kept mum. None of them have received any formal censure, as their behavior was absolutely within the realm of what is acceptable in 2020. Andrew Cuomo, the man presently being lauded as the firm and competent opposite of Trump, used the pandemic as a pretense to push through cuts to social services and renege on bail reform that was past just weeks ago--undoing the last vestiges of progressivism both old and new. Even bleaker: an EU member state is now being ruled by dictatorial fiat under the pretense of the virus, and everyone’s just kind of rolling with it. I mean, really, what’s gonna happen? Brussels gonna step in? NATO gonna invade? Pfft… Not for such a trifling matter as the abandonment of democracy. If they missed a debt payment, on the other hand…

The point is, you’re not going to get gaslit because there’s no need for that any longer. The people who are profiting off of the collapse and destruction of society don’t even have to bother to lie about it. And the only ones doing any gaslighting are the smug liberal twerps who are too scared of upsetting their boss to allow anyone to point out this fact.

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tecnixfairy · 4 years

Text

Personal Ranking | Winx Club Fairies

This is based on the events of of all Seasons (though mostly S1-S4), my interpretation of the show and (partially) the Winx Club Wiki.

Surprisingly enough this is MY opinion, partially substantiated with facts. My opinion is mine, you can agree or disagree all you want. I am in no way trying to offend anyone by giving my opinion on fictional characters in a kids show.

Capiche?

I want to point out that just because characters are low on my list that it does not mean I hate them per se. I’m simply limited to rating 6 characters, and one has to be all the way at the bottom. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t random, however just because someone is at the bottom it does not mean I hate them; or think they shouldn’t be in the show.

So let’s start with my least favorite fairy shall we?

6. Bloom

Why Bloom you say? Well, in all honesty even as a child I didn’t like Bloom all that much. To me she was always too perfect in a sense. Like yeah she’s quirky and doesn’t know much, but that is such a typical trick used by writers to try to hide the fact that they made her super over powering compared to like everyone else. The idea that a normal person suddenly discovers magical powers and then becomes one of the most powerful creatures in their universe is already a major cliché.

On top of that the writers made her more and more of a Mary Sue as time went on, and after Seaons 4 pretty much all of the little personality that she had disappeared and she was just the “do good, all good, always right, all powerful” dragon fairy. In the first season she’s interesting for what she is but her character arc isn’t satisfying. She goes from being the quirky all-good powerful fairy to being the perfect all-good most powerful fairy off all. Like really, if Bloom is so powerful why doesn’t she just blast all their damn enemies away? She can clearly do it.

Of course the show would be over very quickly, but if a writer runs into those problems it is not their job to create more bizarre obstacles, or ignore the power they’ve previously clearly possessed, but to take a step back and maybe dial down the character entirely.

Another issue I have with Bloom is her “courage”. Yes, courage is good, but with Bloom it’s so annoying and frankly... dangerous. This falls back into the Mary Sue trope I mentioned. This is another thing writers often do to cover up the fact that they’ve created an overpowering character. Bloom is always pushing everything, and everyone, and it gets annoying! She’s always the one to be like “C’mon girls, let’s do this!” and then they run off to do something that they shouldn’t even be able to do. I have to be fair on the show Season 1 does this the least, in S1 Bloom is still coming out of her shell, but after that it just gets extremely irritating.

5. Musa

So, Musa. Where to start with her? I want to come out right and say, make clear once more, that just because she’s low on my list it does not mean I hate her. In previous discussions it has been a misconception that I do, but I don’t hate Musa in the slightest.

What I however do hate is how pretty much her entire personality is I love music, my moms dead & I get upset over Riven. I could never relate to Musa, she’s far too sensitive and impulsive (dumb you could call it as well) for my liking. I think Musa could’ve been a great character to me had her personality been more individual as oppose to majorly revolving around her relationship with Riven. I don’t mind sensitive and impulsive characters, but I am severely against toxic relationships like that of Musa and Riven.

My issue with Musa lies more with the show itself than the character. I think it is irresponsible of a kids show to promote relationships like that of Musa and Riven. Their relationship is toxic and I feel a dread whenever I think about a young child who looks up to Musa, because they also love music, and naively finds her relationship with Riven an inspiration. The show already pushes this idea on young girls that they need a boyfriend, and when it promotes toxic relationships like that of Musa and Riven it can be severely damaging.

I can’t rank Musa any higher because for me Musa’s character has been mostly defined by her romantic relationship. Yes, she loves music, is sensitive and has a dead mother, but really that is all I get to know about her; especially since her relationship with Riven is so damn distracting.

I think Musa should’ve broken up with Riven for his abusive attitude and that she should’ve stayed a single queen. It would overall send out a much better message to younger audiences.

4. Stella

Stella... there’s a lot to take in. I actually really like Stella, I adore her character especially in the first couple of seasons. However later seasons ruin her character, and not just like a little bit. No they took Stella’s character, and then a bulldozer, and then ran over Stella’s character with that bulldozer 30 times in a row. Then looked down at the dusted up remains of the character and tried to rebuilt her with that remaining dust, the product?; Stella Season 5 and beyond!

As a child I didn’t like Stella; she was too girly for my liking, but I grew a love and appreciation for her character over time. She is a strong, smart and kind human being that just also happens to be very pretty! She is always there for her friends, and although sometimes being a bit ignorant she always feels bad when she hurts her friends feelings, it never feels like she’s overly self-centered because she actually understands what she does wrong most of the time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a pretty girly girl type person, however the show DESTROYS everything they built for Stella after Season 4.

S5 STELLA AND BEYOND IS THE WORST THING EVER! HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO MY PRECIOUS BBY STELLA!?!? What did they do you ask? THEY MADE HER A TYPICAL DUMB BLONDE.

I feel pure rage over the “development” of Stella over the seasons. She went from being a kind, confident, stylish young lady in Season 4 to being a dumb, self-centered blonde girl in Season 5. I am disgusted. The writers were doing so well! I praise the show for not making her dumb blonde from the start, because it would’ve been so easy! But they didn’t, at first. But then Season 5 came along and suddenly all she can care about is her effing hair and nails!

3. Aisha/Layla

I've heard it before, and I’ll probably hear it another million times “If the black character isn’t your favorite, that means you’re (secretly) racist.”

This is obviously complete and utter bullshit. My opinion is my opinion regardless of the characters ethnic background or skin color. In fact it genuinely disgusts me how S8 and WOW white washed Aisha, and it is the very reason I refuse to watch any future seasons.

So, let’s chat Aisha, shall we? Don’t get me wrong here, I actually really like Aisha. However I had to make a tricky decision when making this list; having a clear idea of who I wanted at 6 and who I wanted at 1 but having difficulty with everything in between. Aisha isn’t here because I have an issue with her character; she simply isn’t any better to me than the following characters.

Aisha, although an undeniable badass, never really appealed to me all that much. I think it is partially to do with her coming in in the second season; and barely any time being spent on her as a character later on aside from her quest to help the pixies. I hate how her grief over Nabu, and Nabu’s death, is pretty much glossed over and they give her a new love interest almost instantly. No they don’t start dating until later, but it’s very heavily inclined that Roy (and later Nex) is supposed to be her love interest. Aisha should have, just like I said with Musa, been a single queen. You don’t just get over the death of your engaged, and the show acts like it’s nothing; that you’ll just be sad for a bit and then get over it when another handsome boy comes along.

Aside from my irritation with the love interests I adore her for being a strong character; which I’m sure many young people can look up to, and I certainly don’t dislike her character. She’s a solid characters with a lot of strong motivations which I can very much appreciate. Out off all the Winx she feels most genuinely determined to reach he goals; yes so is Bloom but with Bloom it doesn’t feel as genuine, it just feels like blind courage. While with Aisha it truly feels like she has motivations for the goals she wants to reach.

2. Flora

Flora is a lovely character, and just like with Stella I feel like they ruined her as time went on which is a shame. I know Flora is the favorite of a lot of people, and it’s very clear to see why.

To me she is most relatable; she’s compassionate, smart and is overall a beautiful being both inside and out. I have very little issues with Flora as a character, she’s lovely and I feel there is no glaring issues to address. In terms of being a role model to a younger audience I’d say she’s a fine role model; she has no glaring personality issues or major drama she goes through. The fact that she gets upset over Crystal in S5 feels extremely out of character, but like I said, just like with Stella they pretty much ruined her character as time went on. S1 through S4 Flora is a wonderful character and I entirely understand why she’s the favorite of so many that watch the show.

Personally I have always adored her as well; I like her connection with nature and her compassion was something I looked up to as a kid. Yes she still has flaws, just like any of the other girls, but her flaws aren’t flaunter nor made an issue of. She’s a bit insecure (S1-S3/4) which is fine, she gets encouraged by her friends to be more confident and overtime she has her own mini character arc. It’s not major, and her character isn’t ground breaking, but she is a lovely character and a picture perfect example of what a main character in a kids show should be like; a good role model.

1. Tecna

You already knew this was coming, of course! She’s the last one left. Plus I make it fairly clear she’s my favorite.

I know a lot of people don’t like Tecna, but I absolutely adore her character. So much so that I already, previously, wrote an entire blog post about it. But I’ll summarize it a little bit.

Tecna is my personal favorite fairy because she has a lot of qualities that I admire; she’s confident, grounded, modest, loyal and extremely intelligent. I’ve heard people complain that she’s their least favorite because she’s too serious; but that’s her purpose! Within this group of highly emotional and impulsive people you need someone to be a voice of logic and reason. Someone that doesn’t get highly emotional over everything, someone that thinks before they act! I tell you, without Tecna all the girls would’ve been dead a long time ago.

Back to the role model thing I keep mentioning; I think Tecna is a good role model for the younger audience that watches Winx Club. She’s confident but modest, she’s super smart; and when she doesn’t know something she always tries to figure it out. She also has the most healthy romantic relationship out of the 6 girls and I personally think that’s worth applauding as well.

So, that’s my take on things. As always, feel free to express your own opinion; as long as you do it in a civil way. I would love to hear what others think and feel on the matter, whether that be about what I said or simply their own ranking.

#winx #winx club #winx club bloom #winx club musa #winx club stella #winx club aisha #winx club layla #winx club flora #winx club tecna #winx bloom #winx musa #winx stella #winx aisha #winx layla #winx flora #winx tecna #character ranking #MY OPINION!!!#alfea

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Fifteen

Masterlist

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Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 15: Avoidance

Chapter Summary: The thing about avoiding your problems is that you always have to face them sooner than you think.

Chapter Word Count: 2611

A/N: Slight warnings for a little bit of angsting, and it’s a little light on Steve content (though he eventually appears from afar). Anywho. I wish I could say something cool like ‘enjoy the pining!’ but I have no idea how long I can actually keep them apart considering I have been mushing two dolls together in my head and going ‘now kiss!’ since I started posting. There will be a little pining though. Like, maybe a car air freshener, at least. Enjoy!

I avoided Steve for the rest of the long weekend. It was easier than it might have been had he not been called in for something. Though we still had texting, he was busy and I didn’t instigate. Even when we did communicate, my responses were short and didn’t leave much for follow up. He probably assumed I needed time to de-socialize, because that was the kind of guy he was, sweet and caring and all good things. Meanwhile, I knew exactly why I was trying not to talk to him, and it stressed me the hell out.

I didn’t want to think about any of it and found my perfect excuse on Monday morning, when a work project made me skip lunch and go into overtime. I immediately texted Steve telling him I’d be busy for a few days and threw myself into work. Unfortunately the project was too time-sensitive and it was done before I even clocked out Tuesday afternoon.

“Okay, this definitely isn’t about money anymore,” my boss said that evening, just when he was packing up. “Do you have a spouse you’re having a fight with?”

“I’m just…looking for stuff to do. To keep me busy.” I didn’t back down when he stared at me. “Just for this week?”

He sighed heavily and rubbed his face. “Okay. Lunches and up to one hour after if you spend it working on organizing the junk drive. Make real progress on cleaning that out and I’ll approve the overtime.”

That was two hours of mindless-but-incredibly-draining work that would put me at a worse commute time and make me crawl into bed at the end of the day, and hopefully completely wipe me out on the weekend.

Perfect.

“Thank you!” I said and started to bound out to get started on the one job everybody in my department passed around like it was a beach ball on fire.

“Seriously,” he said and I stopped. He stood there with his bag over his shoulder and asked, “Are you okay?”

I almost smiled, but remembered that would be out of character. “I’m fine,” I said and shrugged one shoulder. “Holidays, you know?”

It worked. For the most part. I at least had a plausible excuse to keep Steve off my back, and my boss didn’t press any further, and I made progress on the most mind-numbing task ever embarked upon by an actual human with an actual brain.

The only problem was that it wasn’t numbing enough. As much as I tried to avoid thinking about Steve at all, he was still in my phone, as was Sam, and even Clint and Natasha now too. Pepper wasn’t a very social texter, thankfully, but I kept getting pulled back to Steve in other ways. In the course of three days I: saw a tuft of blonde hair that made me do a double-take, heard his recorded laugh as I passed by someone who didn’t understand the concept of using headphones, and had to listen to a few older ladies gossip about ‘what a man’ he was in unfiltered detail. I even had a dream about some of the things they said because the universe hated me, apparently.

And then there was Steve himself, not texting that much, but always taking the time to send me a little photo every day that was obviously meant to make me laugh. He even sent me the ‘Hang in there’ kitten poster (which made me snort way too loudly in public) along with ‘I dare you to use this for your lockscreen for a month.’

I texted back, ‘What do I get for it?’ before I realized I was breaking my own goddamn rules and smashed my face into my desk.

Steve: Something good ;)

Oh god. Did he know what he was doing? If he did I wished he would have just put me out of my fucking misery already.

Steve: How’s work?

Fuck.

Me: Busy. Me: How’s work? Steve: Almost done Steve: I hope your job lets up this weekend Steve: Sam is coming back with me and we’re hoping you can come out with us

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Me: We’ll see

Work did let up. Unfortunately. I made good progress on organizing the long-forgotten junk drive and my boss repaid me and betrayed me in the same breath.

“I’ll approve the overtime,” he said. “But that’s it for now. You look exhausted and I need you to take the weekend to rest up, okay?”

It was the one and only time I had ever wished to have a bastard boss again. But I was tired, and I didn’t have any excuses. “Okay,” I said and left his office feeling miserable. I got home pretty quick for a Friday night, which just left me more time to think about things I really didn’t want to think about. And there was only one cure for that.

The club was busier than I was used to, busier than it had any right to be with the night just really beginning, but as soon as I got in I made a beeline for the bar and snaked in the first opening I could find. It was loud, and too crowded, and I really wasn’t up for this, but I didn’t know what else to do. So I started drinking.

That was a bad idea. Aside from the ‘using alcohol to try and drown your emotions’ being a baseline fucking awful idea, it also didn’t fucking work.

Couples. They were everywhere. Leaning next to each others’ ears, making out along the wall, dancing together like it was foreplay; they were so all over the place that even the fake ID crowd seemed less obnoxious by comparison.

Except for when a gaggle of party girls yelled right next to me for no real reason and reminded me they really weren't. The music thumped and I winced and turned away from watching the floor to sip my drink at the bar like the true lonely miser I was.

And wasn’t that just the thing.

Loneliness, as a thing in my life, had stopped bothering me after a while– or maybe I had just stopped noticing it– either way, it wasn’t generally a thing I dwelled on. I took for granted that I wasn’t the type anyone would settle in with; I was too…whatever. So for the longest time I had just assumed I’d be on my own and I was okay with it. I knew I could handle it, and figured I and everyone else was better off for it. People came and went, and no one ever stuck around before– not that I ever gave them a real reason to. And if I couldn’t make friendships work, I had no business getting into a relationship. It truly didn’t bother me. Most of the time.

So it figured I would fall for the first person I’d had qualify as ‘friend’ in a while. That thought was slightly concerning, but as long as I didn’t make these feelings Steve’s problem, I could sleep easy at night. For the most part. The question was how to deal with it. Did I continue as normal and bottle this up for the rest of time, hoping it would fade out? Did I continue as normal but let him know, and let him decide if he wanted to stick around?

Or did I just…let go. Did I stop putting in the time to keep this friendship going. Did I stop responding, start avoiding him, and just fade out of his life even easier than I had faded in. That seemed like a real option. I was so naturally good at it, had done it so much by accident, he wouldn’t even miss me. After a while I doubt he would remember I existed.

My mouth tasted sour and bitter and I tossed back my drink. It didn’t help.

An hour later I was home, sitting at my kitchen counter and hanging my face over a cup of tea that got colder by the minute. My head still pulsed in time with the beat that had driven me out of the club, but it had become less and less over time.

My phone buzzed. “Shh,” I said softly, but it ignored me and I looked over only to hurt my neck when I did a double-take. Steve had sent three texts. Shit. I sat up and opened my phone directly to my messages. If Steve had gotten injured again I was really going to hurt him.

Fortunately the first message was a simple ‘Hey’ sent soon after I had set out on my ill-advised adventure. The next was ‘Are you busy?’ and then simply my name.

I hesitated. I had the terrible thought that here was where I could start ghosting on out of his life. Fade away like the nonentity I was.

I swallowed and sent back, ‘Sry. Went out’

Steve: Oh Steve: Good :) Steve: How are you? Me: Okay Me: You? Steve: I’m okay

The conversation stalled and I realized why I had even considered ghosting– it was easy to not respond when you didn’t know what to say.

Me: Good Steve: Can I ask you Steve: Are you really okay?

His texts came too fast after mine to be responding to the silence. Fuck.

Me: Yes Me: Why?

I shouldn’t have asked, but I had a bad feeling about this. I tapped my fingers on the table while I waited for a response.

Steve: You haven’t been talking to me much lately Steve: I’m just Steve: worried Steve: Was it Thanksgiving? Steve: Was I inappropriate?

Shit, shit, shit. I hit my forehead on the table which, fucking ow, but I deserved it. I had never intended for him to feel bad for something that wasn’t his fault, nor was it ever supposed to be his problem. It wasn’t right for him to be upset because of my bullshit. So I decided to be honest.

Me: No Me: It’s not you Me: It’s very definitely me Me: I’m mis Me: miserable Me: And awful Steve: You’re not Me: Am too Me: It’s not you tho Me: I’m having a hard time Me: That’s all

Honest to a point, at least.

Steve: I’m sorry Steve: Can I help? Me: No Me: Gotta Me: Push through Steve: Okay Steve: I’m your friend though Steve: You can always come to me Steve: And hey Steve: Sam and I are going out tomorrow for dinner Steve: I’ll text you the details just in case you’re up to it Steve: But I won’t expect anything Steve: Is that okay?

Why did he have to be so fucking thoughtful all the time. Why did he have to be someone so out of my league in every single way.

Me: Fine Me: Can’t promise Steve: That’s okay <3

I was going to straight up murder whoever taught him fucking heart symbols. Preferably by taking their heart.

Steve: Have you eaten yet? Me: Don’t wanna Steve: How about dessert?

‘Only if you’re here to share it,’ I thought. The worst part was that it wasn’t even sexual– I just wanted him here. With me. All of the time. Okay, maybe not all of the time, but most of the time. And that was new. That was different. That scared the hell out of me.

Then there was a knock at my door and I froze up. Nobody had buzzed for me and while my building wasn’t exactly Fort Knox, I also didn’t expect company I didn’t explicitly invite over. I gave it a few seconds but kept my connection to Steve in hand (just in case) and went to the peephole.

Me: Someone knocked. If I don’t respond maybe send help Steve: It’s safe :)

I squinted at the message and then peered out again. I didn’t see him at all and it wasn’t like him to hide. I cautiously opened the door and looked around but there was no one– but there was something.

A bakery box sat in front of my door, with a note scrawled on receipt paper that had my name followed with very flowery bubble letters telling me to “Feel Better!” from a hand-scrawled smiling sunflower.

I stared at it, picked up the box, brought it in, set it on the counter, and stared at it some more.

Steve: Okay now you’ve put that thought into my head I’m a little worried Steve: Are you okay? Me: brb Me: crying into cake Steve: Don’t cry Steve: Or cry if you need to I guess Steve: But eat something too Steve: I’ll say good night here Steve: And text you again with dinner info Steve: Again, only if you want to. Sam and I will NOT be slighted Steve: I promise Me: Good night Steve Steve: Good night <3

“Just fucking end me,” I muttered and stared at the screen while I dug into the cake with a fork. (It was small; I felt no shame.) It was also so unbelievably good that I actually stopped and checked out the box.

Me: Wait, how did you get a cake this late??? Steve: Asking the real questions

I laughed. That surprised me, but I couldn’t help it.

Me: It’s really good Me: Thank you Steve: Anytime

I forced myself to think about this whole…situation…while I ate. Phasing out of his life was, apparently, not much of an option if he was just randomly thinking of me like this. And I knew now very firmly that even accidentally hurting him was not an option. Love was an easy word for complicated emotion, but it was the best way I knew how to classify how deeply I cared for him. And I cared, to the point where if anybody was going to get hurt, I’d rather it be me.

The more I thought about it though, the more I had real hope that maybe nobody would get hurt at all. Steve was a really good guy. So even if he accidentally found out (I knocked on wood at the thought) it wouldn’t be the end of everything. He wouldn’t let it be the end of everything; he would be flattered, reject me politely, and we could move on. I hoped.

And for once, the best-case scenario didn’t seem the least likely. I trusted Steve that much. That was something I didn’t want to look into too much, but to be fair, he also trusted…me. He would know I wasn’t infatuated with some aspect of him and we might even work past this together. If not, he would give me the chance to work past it on my own, and I wasn’t about to let him down.

The box topped off my trash so I pulled the bag together and got ready to make the trek to take it out. Coming out the door I almost ran right into my neighbor, Robert, who was apparently doing the same thing.

“Hey,” he said. I was polite like a real human being and asked after his wife and kids. We made some more small talk on the way, and he even waited to hold the chute open for me. When I lifted the bag, his eyes zeroed in on the box stuffed half in the top. “Oh, that place is nice. You celebrating something?”

“No,” I said and shoved it in. “I…wasn’t feeling so great. So a friend sent it to me.”

“That must be a pretty good friend,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said, thinking about Steve and finally feeling hopeful. “A really good friend.”

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#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers & reader #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #reader insert #lunch buddy

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redeyedryu · 5 years

Text

Cross Dimensional Problems

Chapter 6 - Drained | [Ao3] | 1 | « | x | » |

Aaaand here’s another chapter! Bit shorter than last time but uh.... enjoy?

Summary: They don’t trust you; you don’t trust them.

Sans crosses a boundary but what you don’t know won’t hurt you... right?

“Hey, does anyone gotta charger that’ll work with my phone?”

The room, which had been rather loud and boisterous seconds before you had opened your mouth, is now silent. If there had been a cricket present, it would have been chirping loud and clear.

“Uh…? Is that a no?”

Stars be damned. They're all just staring at you. Again! This is like the fifth time today, what the hell guys, stop it!

“Look, the vacant staring is getting kind of old.”

Red is the first to snap out of it with a shake of his head. He's actually not scowling at you for once.

“ya gotta phone?” he asks, for some reason in complete disbelief.

“...yeah? Kind of a staple of life in my native reality…?” Are cell phones not as big of a thing here? They're not still those clunky brick phones with hella tiny screens and number pad keyboards here, are they? Man, you hope not. Also you really hope someone can charge your phone because you’ve got a lot of stuff on this chunk of plastic, metal, and glass. It would suck to be stuck with a useless brick you had spent hundreds of dollars on.

“lemme see it,” Red demands, now suddenly standing before you. His clawed hand is spread before your face in a very clear gimmie manner.

“What? No!” You protest, clutching the device to your chest. You have things and stuff in it that you would really rather none of them see!

Like the home screen, which just so happens to be a commissioned piece of you and a certain skeleton. The lock screen should be fine, you think; you doubt Deltarune means anything to these guys.

When you cast a quick, cursory glance over the room and spot Black lounging on the love seat across from you, you absolutely do not sputter and panic. The red dusting your cheeks is all because you're trying to fend off Red and his grabby hands, aiming for your phone!

Case in point: he’s currently pressed up against your back, arms wrapped around your sides and claws making grabby motions at the device clutched tightly in your hands, huddled close to your chest.

“If you don't gotta charger you can just say so!” You nearly shout, shifting your weight to keep him at your back as he moves to get in front of you.

“heh, y’actin’ real suspicious, kid. whadda ya hidin’?”

“Nothing!” you screech, voice only slightly cracking.

“c’mon, babe,” Red says and your face just scrunches automatically. “fork it over n’ maybe i’ll lend ya mine.”

You twist away from him when he tilts at just the right angle to wedge an arm over your shoulder, claws inches from your phone. “Don't call me ‘babe’, Red, that's disgusting. And for the last time, no! I don't want your phone, you've probably got like weird mustard themed porn on that thing or something!”

He sputters and falters. “wh-wha?! no i ain’t!” And you take the opening, easily rolling out from under him so you now stand a few feet away.

“Fine, regular porn! But my point still stands, I'm not handing my phone over!”

The skeleton scowls and clicks his metaphorical tongue.

“c’mon, ain’t such a big deal.” Red growls at you, a scowl spreading across his face. He crosses his arms and flops back onto the couch, jostling Stretch, who had already been seated. The taller skeleton is watching with one half-lidded eye socket, skull resting in his palm as he cozies up to the couch’s arm. He doesn't say anything, just watches as you and Red bicker.

You huff and cross your own arms, grip tightening on your phone. “Yeah, well my privacy is.”

“tch. s’rich, commin’ from someone i ain't never met who claims they know so much ‘bout me.” Red sneers at you, his crimson eyelights flashing, before his expression shifts to a downright malicious grin. “heh. betcha yer th’ one wit sum nasty shit on there.”

Excuse you? Excuse you?!

You can't formulate a proper response to the asshole’s very obvious baiting. You know what he’s doing, you do, but that doesn't make it any easier to control yourself, to formulate a cohesive reply. A quick glance around the room, from Red to Stretch, to Black, to Serif and back again, doesn't help. Maybe you were hoping someone would jump in in your defense or… or something! But no. They're all just very obviously listening in, clearly unwilling to offer you any kind of assistance—you, the weird, suspicious human who knows too much.

None of them trust you. None of them like you.

Your stomach rolls and a tightness constricts in your chest. There's an uncomfortable tingle spreading out from beneath your skin that you try to ignore. The hand not gripping your phone digs into your upper arm and you dig your nails into the flesh, dragging them across your skin in an effort to ground yourself, to distract your spiraling mind.

You turn on your heel and leave the room without so much as another word. You don't need to put up with this kind of bullshit.

---------------

Papyrus, Classic™ Papyrus, finds you sitting in the kitchen, alone, not too long later. You're seated at the small table you had devoured that bag of popato chisps just the night prior. Somehow that already feels like it had happened days ago.

You’re hunched over in your seat, your hair curtaining your face as you glare down at your phone. It's the only connection you have to your home, to your life, and it's sitting at a measly twelve percent battery life. Why hadn't you charged it when you were home? It's not like anything had kept you from doing so, aside from your own stupid laziness. You bite your lip and dig your nails into your thighs, relying on the pain to distract your treacherous, wandering mind.

The skeleton is hesitant to say anything at first, the tension and unease rolling off you in near tangible waves an uncomfortable pressure on his soul. You apparently hadn't noticed his entrance, too focused glaring at the small device sat on the table before you. Papyrus frowns. He doesn't know you, and your story is a strange one, but you had seemed nice enough. A little strange and worrying, but you appear to be a good person overall. So it upsets him, to see you sitting there in obvious turmoil.

He walks up beside you and clears his throat. You merely pull in your shoulders, head dipping lower. There's a shudder to your body and he isn't sure, but he thinks he hears a soft hiccup. Are you… crying?

“Human?” Papyrus questions gently, placing a gloved hand upon your shoulder. “Are You Alright?”

You choose to ignore the way you jolt at his sudden touch and sniffle, bringing a palm to wipe at the treacherous tears pooling along your eyes. You take a deep breath and h o l d i t i n. Then release.

Feeling grounded enough, you utter a frustratingly meek affirmation and hope that's enough to appease the skeleton. His hand does not leave your shoulder.

He crouches down so that his skull is level with your eye-line. From your peripheral and through the curtain of your hair, you can see the concerned, tender expression he is giving you. You bite at your lip and dig your nails into the meat of your thighs.

“If Something Is Wrong, You May Talk To Me About It, Human.”

His voice is so soft, almost pleading. It almost lulls you into giving in. Almost.

You shake your head and wipe at your face, gulp in a deep breath and then toss your head back, posture straightening. It's easy to slap a smile on your face as you address the skeleton, “I'm good, Papyrus, don't worry!” You ignore the way his sockets narrow in a suspicious squint. “Just a bit bummed I don't have a way to charge my phone. It's almost dead.”

And here, you snatch the device from the table and wave it at him and shrug. He lets his hand fall from your shoulder as he moves to cup his chin.

He appears to be pondering something for a brief moment before he looks at you with wide, excited sockets.

“Have You Spoken To My Brother?”

Your brows furrow. “Sans? No, why?” Honestly, you think he might be avoiding you. You haven’t seen hide nor hair of the monster since your little confrontation earlier.

“Well, I’m Sure You Know That He Is Quite Great—Not Nearly As Great As I, Of Course.” You nod blankly. “Speak With Him, Friend, I Am Sure He Is More Than Capable Of Putting Something Together!”

Your shoulders pull in and the grin you give Papyrus is tight. Something clenches in your chest. “Ah… yeah, that's a good idea.” Somehow you doubt you will be able to locate the elusive skeleton.

“I’M GLAD YOU AGREE!” Papyrus all but shouts as he picks himself up from his crouch. “WAIT HERE! I SHALL GO FETCH THE LAZYBONES!” And without another word, Papyrus is off and running.

The tension eases from your muscles at his exuberant exit. Papyrus will probably have better luck at tracking down his brother than you ever will. Especially considering 1) Sans can teleport and 2) He likely doesn't want to see you on the count of whatever he saw.

You sigh and slouch in your seat and fiddle with your phone. Guess you'll wait here.

---------------

Sans taps a phalanx across the surface of his desk as he stares at your phone.

Papyrus had searched him out earlier and proposed putting something together for you to charge it. His brother had posed it as a chance to level-up his “Friendship” with you or some such nonsense. When Sans had attempted to protest, to toss out an excuse, Papyrus had brooked no argument. So here he sits, slouched against the side of his chair, cheek propped in his palm. It was child’s play to throw together a charger for your phone. Couldn't have taken more than an hour and yet here he is, nearly five hours later, still in possession of the device on the pretense of working on it. Considering the fact it’s presently ass o’ clock in the morning, though, you likely won’t come searching him out for another few hours. Which works out for him.

Sans doesn’t plan on telling anyone and he’ll take it to his grave but he absolutely took the opportunity to snoop through your phone. It wasn’t hard, puzzling out how to unlock the device.

He stares at your now fully charged phone, the screen dim.

He had scrolled through the years upon years of photos saved in your library (apparently you never delete anything) and as much of a breach of trust it was, he appreciates the extra insight into who you are. Besides, could anyone really blame him, after what he had seen? He needed answers and sure, he could ask you but he just couldn't get a read on you like he could everyone else. Was it because you didn't have a soul? Or… did you have one? Multiples? Were you even a real person?

He groans and scrubs at his face, bones clacking and clicking upon contact. He still doesn't know how to unpack all of… that. But after sneaking a peek at the device, just a little bit of tension and apprehension about you ebb away at what he had found.

Photos of a clearly beloved pet (a stupid, hairy white dog; a beast of a hound; a gorgeous, if not derpy, cat; a slithering snake; a trilling bird).

You, smiling with who were undoubtedly your friends.

Pictures of birthdays—yours, your friends’, family’s.

Food, the ocean, an interesting rock formation, a curious number of pictures of garbage (he wants to ask about them but that would give him away).

There are reference pictures. Pictures of art likely saved from the internet of your various fandom interests. They’re sparse, but he stumbles upon a few pieces of himself, of Black, Serif, Ink. A couple of versions of himself he’s not too happy you know about (and hopes you never wind up crossing paths with). That was a bit disorienting, if not unsurprising. You had mentioned how much fan created content exists of them in your world but hearing about a thing and seeing it are two completely different things.

There are thousands of photos and at least a hundred videos. He doesn't look at everything on your phone—that would take far too long—but he is able to glean a significant grasp of your character and interests. And what he finds is… well… He’s not sure how he feels about it. Relieved? Disappointed?

You're completely and utterly normal for a human from an alternate reality. It really makes him wonder why you, how you. The mystery of it all almost makes him want to get back into the science of things, past just trying to figure something out with that malfunctioning hunk of junk in the basement. And it's not like they’ve actually been working all that hard on it lately anyway. They haven't told you, but some of them have been here for years already. Nearly a decade, last he counted. A lot of them have already accepted they're here to stay.

You had been the first new arrival in such a long time.

They're hesitant to broach this particular subject with you so soon after your appearance. Maybe in a few months’ time, when you've settled into things a bit… then they'll sit you down and explain it.

At least he now knows he’s likely not dealing with some kind of sick freak. You’re a bit weird—and the confrontation has undoubtedly raised so many more questions than answers, he won’t discount that—but harmless.

He resumes tapping out a steady rhythm against the surface of his desk as he lets his mind wander.

For the moment, he doesn't believe you to be a threat. The weirdness with your soul(?) can probably be chalked up to you being from an alternate reality. Perhaps things work differently where you are from? Maybe that's… normal for your people?

Sans lets loose a heavy sigh and sinks atop his desk, arms splayed before him and forehead pressed against the surface.

Why can't he ever just catch a break?

#Red Drabbles #Undertale Fanfiction #Reader Insert #Cross Dimensional Problems #Reverse Harem #big mood Sans. Big mood

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thereluctantherosrose · 5 years

Text

Emotion is no Weakness

Ok first off...I haven’t written in like...a year. Been struggling quite a bit this past year with alot of really stressful things and my depression and anxiety. I haven’t been able to write...like...at all. So I’m very out of practice so...keep in mind lol. But I hope you like it regardless

Pairing: Barnaby Lee x Aleksia Aries

Aleksia sat down in the Grassland of the animal reserve, the wind lightly blowing her raven hair. Her Niffler and Porluck snuggled into her, causing a soft giggle to escape past her lips. She absolutely loved this; it was one of her favourite free time activities. Her animals roamed free, playing around with not a care in the world.

The Gryffindor girl often found that animals were easier to deal with than humans. They were less...complicated. Not that she was anti-social, but right now she needed space away from the judgement and stares of those at Hogwarts.

Her mind felt like it was in a state of constant whirlwind that refused to stop and to have a moment of peace like this, was rare. So much had happened within the past few days that she could barely take everything in at once. She had defeated a dragon, been betrayed by Rakepick and had lost her brother again, all in the same day. How she hadn’t gone completely bonkers by now, was beyond her.

Sometimes she felt like she had lost her mind. Those long sleepless nights of terror only reinforced that thinking. She would wake up, jumping out of bed and scream and thrash at whatever her mind seemed to conjure up that night. The other girls in the dorm didn’t seem to hear her in their deep slumber, aside from Rowan the odd time.

Maybe she was kidding herself while trying to cling to the last bit of sanity she had left. Since she had arrived at Hogwarts, there had been constant rumour that she was mad. Merula never skipped a beat in trying to remind her that. It always bugged her, and she often became quite loud in defending herself, but it seemed over time she almost had become numb to it, giving into it.

She could see the looks her friends gave her; they were worried and rightfully so. Aleksia had never been so quiet in all the time that they had known her. But she didn’t need anyone’s pity. She just needed all the bullshit to end and to leave her alone. To say such a thing was easy, but to make it a reality was a whole different story. The further she dug into the Vaults, the more complicated everything became.

And then there was R... Who was this R. At first, she had suspected Rakepick to be R... but it became more apparent after her betrayal that she was merely a pawn. Her brother had obviously gotten himself into something dangerous; running in the path of a very dangerous group. Whatever he had gotten into, led him to getting his friend, Duncan Ashe, killed.

Did Aleksia ever really know her brother? The more and more she discovered about him, the more of a stranger he seemed to be. Nothing like how she remembered him. She frowned and sighed. What was she going to do? What could she do?

This picture of his face was still fresh in her mind. Jacob had always been a handsome boy, clean shaven with his bright hetero chromatic eyes. Yet when she had seen him, his hair was longer, and messy, facial hair along his jawline and dark circle under his eyes. But what stood out most was the scars. It was littered with scars, most likely from his unfortunate encounter with the dragon and/or possibly from Rakepick.

Her heart was filled with uncertainty; she was both angry…sad…and most of all lost. She both loved and resented her brother, yet with all of these emotions she felt guilty for being angry. She didn’t know all the pieces to this puzzle. Would she ever truly know the truth? She wondered somberly.

---

“Zephyr…” she giggled “Get off my head, you silly boy” her hands reached up and pulled the Niffler, who had somehow made his way up onto her head, and took him into her arms, giving him a kiss on his tiny head. “It’s nice to know that some things are a constant huh boy?”

“They seem to really like you…” a voice came from behind her, startling her slightly and causing her to jump. She turned around, staring into familiar green eyes. Barnaby.

Immediately the weariness from her face was pushed aside and hidden behind a bright smile. How many times had she done so to hide her true feelings? She was unsure, she couldn’t even begin to count.

Slowly she stood up and gently set down the Niffler in her arms on the ground, letting him scamper away to his pile of coins he had collected.

“Though...you know...I don’t blame them…I really like you too...” Barnaby smiled down at the girl in front of him. Compared to Barnaby, Aleksia was so much smaller, only standing at about 5.3”. Barnaby thought it was cute, she was cute.

“Barnaby… you are such a tease…” her cheeks turned red and she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest. She took a deep breath in, taking in his familiar and comforting scent. Already just being in his arms was making her feel slightly better.

“Tease? Me? Never!” he smirked and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on top of hers. A perfect fit. “Have you been here all this time? I thought we were meeting for lunch?”

“Oh…Barnaby I…I’m so sorry. It totally slipped my mind…” she pulled back and frowned.

“It’s alright I was just…worried you know?” he scratched his head.

“Barnaby…You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a tough cookie remember?” she smirked and playfully punched his shoulder. “Ok...ignore that dorkish statement...Please”

He let out a soft chuckle “I know you are…Don’t you remember when we first met in Potions class?”

Aleksia smiled “I remember…You told me that you’d vanish all the bones in my body!”

“And in return you challenged me to try with a very menacing smile I might add…”

“Did I now?” she raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Oh yes. It’s when I first knew that I liked you. You were feisty and had a will of your own…I both admired and envied that” Barnaby smiled.

She smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Really?”

“Yes…100%...But you know…like you said to me…You don’t have to be strong all the time”

“I know”

“Do you?”

A silence fell between, and Aleksia bit her lip. She wasn’t used to being called out on her façade. She was a person who often hid her feelings as to not upset other people. She wanted people to know that she wasn’t useless. Her father had often taught her that growing up, and it had stuck unfortunately.

“I…”

Barnaby gently took her small hands in his and squeezed them gently. “Leksi…I may not be good at sensing most things…But I know when you are hurting”

“I’m fine” she said harsher than she had meant to. He was concerned for her, and she knew that. But she didn’t want him to worry for her. He had better things to be thinking about.

“Leksi...I know you aren’t ok...and it’s ok that you aren’t. You just saw Jacob and... he left right after…” he put a hand on her shoulder gently, eyes pleading with her to open up to him, just as he did to her. She was a constant source of comfort, never asking for anything in return, nor asking for comfort for herself. All he wanted was to reciprocate for the girl he had fallen deeply for throughout these years Hogwarts. “I need you to know I’m here…Always…”

Her eyes widened and she stayed silent for a moment, looking down at the ground and closed her eyes. Everything was threatening to spill over, despite her trying so hard to contain everything. She was stubborn, to a fault. “I can’t…” she whispered; her voice slightly shaky.

“Please...I know you need to talk. You aren’t weak for showing your feelings. You taught me that. You don’t need to act tough all the time”

She thought for a moment and bit her lip, before silent tears began spilling down “Heh…using that against me huh?” she joked around and let out a bitter chuckle “I’m…angry. I’m angry at Rakepick. I’m angry at my brother. I’m angry at myself. I have so much…anger that it’s like this ball stuck in my chest” she balled her hands into fists. “I love my brother. He was my hero. He made life with my Dad more tolerable. But then… then he basically abandoned mum and I…which I know isn’t entirely his fault but…we were stuck. And then…I am finally reunited with him and he leaves once again. And I feel…guilty about this anger but he made us so worried and then I find all the shit he’s gotten himself into…and others…It’s like…he’s not the Jacob I once knew…”

A silence fell between them for a moment, just the sniffling from the raven-haired female could be heard. “You must think me as some...selfish brat…”

“No” she looked up at him in surprise “I don’t think that and I never would think that about you. You are far from selfish. There isn’t a single person within our friend group who you haven’t helped. You are right to feel uspet about Jacob. You are hurt and you love him, which makes it hurt more...If that makes any sense…” he scratched his head, looking slightly sheepish, worried that his words might just be jumbled.

She furrowed her eyebrows and thought about what he said. It was true. No matter how angry she was, she still loved her brother. He was her role model growing up, no matter how jealous she got from her brother being the favoured one of their family. That wasn’t his fault. But him leaving twice was...and that’s what she was angry about...or at least partly.

“It... does…” a weak smile graced her face. “Thank you...Barnaby…”

“You’re welcome” he smiles back “I’m glad I’m good for something”

“Barnaby...you are good for a lot of things...You just don’t know it yet…” she took his hands in his and squeezed them. Brown eyes stared into green ones and vice versa, looking at each other with sweet affection.

Barnaby’s eyes flicked from her eyes to her lips. It was so tempting to just lean in and kiss her. He knew that she cared for him, and he very much cared for her. Barnaby had been so overjoyed when he had first found out that she had returned his feelings, and even more thrilled when they went on their first date. He had never kissed anyone before, but with Aleksia, he had often had this moment in his mind.

Now as he stared down at her, and he so wanted to kiss her. But he was questioning himself. Was this the right time for this? Should he do this? Or was he taking advantage by doing this now? She was staring right back up at him with a soft gaze that matched his own. Unbeknownst to him, she wanted this as much as he did. So, he took the chance and leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers.

Barnaby felt as she snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her tangling her fingers in his silky locks. The moment was perfect. More perfect than either could’ve dreamed about. People often talked about how having your first kiss with someone you cared about felt like fireworks going off, but this was much more than that. It was better.

Moving their lips against each other, with closed lids, their hearts beat at a mile a minute, and as they pulled apart, they stared into each others eyes. Both had an incredulous look on their faces that slowly turned into smiles.

“I’m uh...sorry about that...I just...well I really wanted to kiss you for awhile now…” a bright red flushed in his cheeks and she giggled.

“I did too…”

With that he took her hand in his as they set off back towards Hogwarts, enjoying the comforting presence of each other. Both would be there for each other, no matter what. No judgement. Just a soft pillow to land on when either felt at their weakest.

#hogwarts mystery #harry potter: hogwarts mystery #aleksia aries #barnaby lee #hphm #hphm mc #hphm jacob's sibling #hphm barnaby lee #hphm barnaby

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ionlycareaboutteam7-blog · 5 years

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why do sasunaru shippers hate sasusaku more than naruhina/sakura more than hinata? || aka a sasunaru shipper explaining why sasusaku is better than naruhina in every conceivable way

yeah yeah this isn’t my lane as a sasunaru shipper to comment on ss because it’s not my ship but it IS my lane to comment on sasuke and sakura, 2 of my favourite naruto characters.

this is my first post about naruto or any series in quite awhile, so excuse any possible errors on my part, but i’ve been thinking and i’d like to write out my thoughts on a particular subject. i’m back with a controversial opinion, of course because those are the only ones i’ll ever have

if you ship sasunaru and u viciously hate sakura i suggest going into this post with an open mind because... you aren’t gonna like a lot of what is said here but i suggest reading anyways :-)

during my time in naruto fandom i’ve noticed a trend among sasunaru shippers(and anti ending people in general), sakura is the butt of all of the jokes and especially after the manga ending and gaiden being released people have loved to make jokes about SS’s marriage but hinata never gets the same negative treatment and my thoughts are only

why?

act i: underratus sasusakus

i’m going to get straight to the point and say my opinion. sakura and sasusaku especially are given extremely unfair treatment and exaggerated belittlement among the sasunaru fandom. allow me to explain why

if you love this bitch right here

you should have done enough character analysis to realize these few things about him

1: he was completely deprived of love and any connections from like age 7 up until he met naruto, sakura and kakashi

2: he felt like he had to push everyone he cares about away because he saw it as weak

and 3: underneath all of his trauma he’s kind hearted

so knowing all of these obvious things, why would you say that in moments like these

he is actually trying to shake off someone he doesn’t like at all and only sees as a girl with an annoying crush?

or alternatively, why would you say he’s abusive and she deserves better but then go and ship him with your favourite character? it’s so transparent and it’s obviously just a filler excuse so you don’t have to actually look into the character dynamics and how they work because you don’t want to admit that your least favourite ship actually isnt awful.

Sasuke isn’t the type of person that would have such disregard and apathy towards a person that’s shown him nothing but love throughout the entire series. that goes against his entire character’s philosophy and most of the arguments seem to be pulled out of thin air also

He obviously cares about sakura plain and simple, no mental gymnastic argument in the world can disregard plain canon evidence. if youre so set on the idea that sasuke doesn’t give a shit about sakura, then i’m gonna raise the question: why would you have a character who doesn’t care about one of his teammates that supported him as ur fave? which leads me to my next point

there’s obviously gonna be theeese kind of people:

“of course my precious baby sasuke loves his team, but sakura has a selfish love and she will never deserve him!!!!”

there are SO many anti sakura arguments from sasunaru shippers that are just plain wrong so i’m gonna use this opportunity to crush them all

“sakura only liked sasuke cause he was hot and popular”

after sakura was surprised that the kid guessed she liked sasuke, she was informed he was popular with the girls

so that one panel gets rid of that argument

“sakura doesn’t really love sasuke, she was going to kill him...”

...because she thought it was her ONLY OPTION to save him from himself, she thought he was too far gone and it wasn’t until naruto showed up that she had hope again (which is why sasunaru shippers being as threatened by ss as they are is so dumb and crazy)

personally i don’t like this aspect of ss and heavily prefer the sasunaru dynamic with the whole eternal never giving up on you thing because it scratches my particular shipping itch but it’s foolish to say that sakura doesn’t love sasuke period, she obviously does and she does deeply and she’s one of the closest people to him and always will be

Sasusaku gets tons of unfair hate just because of the long running anti Sakura meme, and it’s always been the scapegoat of the anti naruto ending crowd. But it’s silly to me because it makes sense that if sasuke doesn’t end with naruto, he would end with sakura

aside from naruto, his closest living person is sakura plain and simple. she’s done nothing but love him, maybe not as absolutely and unconditionally as naruto has, and maybe she did falter but it’s more than anyone else in the entire series(besides naruto) has and it’s more than he’s ever got from anyone else (besides naruto lol) so if sasunaru doesn’t happen why on earth would you be upset that the boy who was so deprived of love for his entire life ended up with this girl?

if not naruto, sakura is the best person for sasuke plain and simple because literally who else in the series (besides naruto) put up with all of his baggage for the entirety of the series, + she raised his child when he was MIA and sarada actually grew up to be a diligent and intelligent ninja. i ain’t even mad when people ship SS

sasuke has recognized all of this, too.

and has thanked sakura for all of the love she’s ever provided for him throughout the years, even when he was not himself and hurting her, she always just wanted him to be okay, and he appreciates it. so of course he married sakura, duh.

you cant even be threatened by their eye smex

because sasuke gives naruto bedroom eyes all day long

he gives a shit about sakura okay?!?! sakura gives a shit about him okay?!?! it’s okay to acknowledge that his canon marriage isn’t the devil while still realizing the objective superiority of your otp!!!!!

all of this can be summarized into, for some reason sasusaku threatens the sasunaru fandom and leads them into having bullshit mental gymnastic arguments against it for no real reason when....

the real monster of the series is naruhina.

act ii: naruheinous disgustus

NARUHINA IS THE WORST SHIP TO EVER COME OUT OF ANY SHOUNEN MANGA, OR ANY MANGA EVER EXCEPT MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE VAMPIRE KNIGHT. I said it.

sorry about coming off a little strong there, but i have a lot to say about this matter, and you know i’m for real when i have a lot to say about something that has so very little.

it seems to me like most sasunaru shippers don’t actually care about naruhina and just give it a free pass cuz it’s boring and she’s nice and cute and whatever

but naruhina is so much worse than sasusaku on every imaginable level

so, so much worse

because where sasusaku at least has friendship

naruhina has nothing

at least where sasusaku has care and chemistry

naruhina has a bland empty space

because hinata is a bland and empty character

[due to plot holes and retcon in the last and other filler, i will only be using kishimoto’s material for this post. but hey, since naruhina is canon only the author written material has to be enough, right? right....? please guys he ships our ship he made it canon i swear he planned everything to end with their epic moon(who sasuke) love story]

we get shown this when naruto gets introduced to hinata and his only impression of her is that she’s a weirdo

We get this when Naruto never ever noticed Hinata, while Sasuke was actively trying to cheer Sakura up

naruhina in part 1 has absolutely NO basis at all. it’s absolutely nonexistent from naruto’s side.

unfortunately... it remains that way.

this moment. this fucking moment is when it all started to go downhill. i mean, naruhina was always at the bottom but this is when it becomes apparent that the ship is never going to pick itself back up.

i’m not going to be one of the people who say that after naruto completely ignored her confession that she should just never think about him again and find a new guy, that’s unreasonable.

however,

naruto completely ignored her confession! in fact, i don’t even think he ignored it. i think it just never occured to him that he should even talk to her which is even sadder imo... sasuke, who is apparently the devil to sasuke, at least y’know... thanked her.

after this happened we never saw hinata’s reaction to this, her feelings on why naruto never replied to her, we never even see her doing anything outside of thinking about naruto/talking to naruto period unless it’s a fight in a flashback

it’s almost like hinata is an NPC in the naruverse programmed to react to anything naruto related and nothing else. you can definitely not say this about sakura, she has a defined personality. Hinata doesn’t.

don’t even understand how this

[sending her son to fight alone against an enemy of unknown strength and only telling him to... take care of naruto-kun]

could ever be favoured over this

sakura > hinata

sasusaku > naruhina

sasunaru shippers = dumb for hating on sasusaku and giving naruhina a free pass

#sasunaru #pro sasusaku #pro sakura #anti hinata #anti naruhina #some SASUSAKU POSITIVITY from a sasunaru eternalist #bc i hate how sasunaru fans are #SS is a god tier bond their romance is just lackluster #meta

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