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jayflrt · 3 months

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this is long sorry 😅

saw you guys talking about fanservice and i have some opinions about it. for starters i do think they were told to up it since members who didn’t really used to partake in it are doing so now. why i have no idea (i actually have a theory about it being because they’re all technically legal now, however that’s another convo) but it’s definitely more than it used to be. that being said i feel like it’s a thing with enha too. they have never been the type to tell us no, unfortunately, so if they think that the y/n type fanservice is what people want then they’re gonna continue doing it. and it is what people want sadly. since their debut they’re priority has been making fans happy even if it’s not what they themselves particularly want. it’s an issue i have with them actually because they need to start saying no and setting boundaries 😭 they are kind and people use that kindness to get whatever they want.

next is that their fanservice still isn’t that bad. it’s more than it used to be most definitely, but in comparison to some other bg’s? they are still relatively tame. it’s the fanbase that makes everything so extreme. like i have absolutely no issue with fanservice, but i cannot stand the reaction to it. not only does it generally make things seem more intense than they actually are, but sometimes it makes the guys look bad? like ik that people write him this way a lot on here (lowkey have a bone to pick with some authors and how they only portray him this way as if he has no actual personality traits), but the fact that people have genuinely called heeseung a fuckboy, cheater, playboy, and toxic as if they know anything about his personal relations? the way that’s he’s discussed you would never guess that off stage he a hopeless romantic loser (affectionate) 😭. and even outside the members that people have a tendency to say whatever they want about (heejake) it’s gotten bad. hoon for example has done a little more fanservice then he used to, but that doesn’t mean logical thinking should be going out the window. we all know that weverse translations are not accurate so why were there multiple hit tweets of him allegedly saying he wants to sleep with a fan, when in reality he was talking about a damn phone lockscreen? and nobody bothered to correct themselves? 😭

i partially blame how bad things have gotten on how young a lot of the fandom is and how they don’t know how to find a balance with things. because imagine my surprise seeing people call enha the most fanservicey group they’ve ever seen lol. y’all ever heard of vixx?

you guys also mentioned send off and dear lord. i think that was the true y/n takeover of the fandom. once people realized that enha genuinely like their fans and find interest in hearing about their lives ex. them asking us to post about our days on wv, watching engene vlogs, etc. they absolutely ran with it. i have been on entwt since enha debuted and never in my years have i seen so many people obsessed with the prospect of enha perceiving them? my entire tl got taken over by people making the same repetitive jokes about the boys being cheaters and selfies. like what do you mean we have celebrated 4 birthdays with jungwon and have never had an issue with canceling the selca day until this year and it was “oh but it’d be a cute surprise!” like you know what would be even cuter? him seeing cute sweet birthday messages under his tags and not your faces 🤗

anyways my main point is that while fanservice has increased it’s not the boys’ fault that things have gone to shit lol

i have noticed that sunghoon's been doing a lot more fanservice than before !! i remember i'd always say it's such a good day to be a jayhoon stan bc they never do fanservice 😭😭 but now hoon's playing up the parasocial relationship hard 😡 i do think it's honestly just belift seeing how their fanbase is like and trying to cater towards them more. since fanservice and the y/n treatment works then that's what they're gonna keep doing to retain their growth. but yeah i totally agree that i hope they can set more boundaries :// some of the fancalls feel so uncomfortable to watch because i feel like they're being held against their will 😭

that's also true!! i think engenes have a history for exaggerating things and making things more extreme than they need to be 🤧 like that fansign where people asked them if they're okay with their gf going to the movies with other guys or texting other guys LOL they definitely knew what was up and knew we'd like to hear some jealousy so they catered to that !! omg yeah i've heard some atrocious things they've been called and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable bc if that was being said about a random stranger,, i wouldn't like that person at all!! or i'd think they had incel mentality 😭 the fact that those get pushed on enha def feels weird but in terms of fanfiction i do think people are just writing them based on a trope, so i give authors the benefit of the doubt that they don't actually think that way !! but yeah the tweets that make them out to be sleazy....... like we don't know these men at all so these are very weird assumptions to make about people

the fate tour was definitely the rise of the y/n stans 😭😭 like EVERYTHING became about interactions and everything became a selfie trend (which i don't mind as long as it's harmless but having ensd on jungwon day???) but yeah idk if people realize it but the focus is slowly shifting from stanning enha as a group for their music and artistry to stanning them because they're boyfriend material and give their fans the y/n treatment 😔

#💌 : love notes #anon

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demlunzel · 3 years

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“RADIODUST MAKES NO SENSE! BESIDES AL IS ACE”

Many people who ship radiodust happen to be ace, aro, or both (Including myself as I’m ace). Acearo has a spectrum. There are sex favorable and sex repulsed if u wanna be more generic. For sex favorables, it is often the mental and emotional experience that is most important in terms of attraction. Sex itself is not appealing to us. There are acearo sex workers as well, because as the position implies, it is a job, a performance, a persona. Not actual attraction. Ergo not only can Alastor be shipped with Angel, but Angel themselves can be ace too (Headcanoned obviously). He is under a soul contract after all and likely signed it due to the fact he has no other means of survival.

Angel is usually under some sort of high or intoxicated in some manner. This plus Valentino’s emotional manipulation/abuse and physical abuse and rape, adds onto the fact that none of this is via Angel’s consent. At best sex and drugs are a numb distraction. In the comic, we see a box of toys Angel has. At first, it is labeled “For fun” with a heart. It’s then crossed out and relabeled as Work shit. He’s reaching his breaking point and that distraction isn’t working anymore.

This is only further proved in Addict

If Angel did crave a relationship or ever got into a serious one, his sexual needs wouldn’t be as intense as people portray. He’s had enough of just sex. He wants actual love.

Which by the way

Aroace is, as mentioned before, a spectrum. One can be demisexual and demiromantic and still be considered aroace. This also goes for angled aroaces, who usually only feel attraction once or twice in their life

If Alastor were ever to gain a serious emotional connection with anyone, that would be his main focus. Alastor is one of the few demons in hell that doesn’t want Angel for his body. It’s likely extremely refreshing for Angel, bc then he knows that Alastor’s intentions should they get together, would never be to use him like that.

And in Alastor’s case

Most demons usually view him in three ways;

Someone that should be feared and avoided

Someone that should be feared and treated aggressively as he is a threat

Or, someone with great power and can be used if on his good side

Angel views him in none of those ways.

He never treated him aggressively, nor did he run from him. And he isn’t the type to get involved in more overlord drama

Another thing that bothers me is that people sometimes portray Angel as pushy to get Alastor in bed. Which is just not in character. Out of everyone, Angel knows what it’s like to be forced into sexual situations without one’s consent. And he and Alastor both have a moral code. A fucked up one, but a moral code nonetheless.

During their first meeting, Angel had no way of knowing Alastor wasn’t into that sorta shit, as he just learned about his existence (Likely from constantly being high and drunk all the time since with knowing Vox he should’ve heard Alastor’s name mentioned at some point). Once Alastor turned him down Angel didn’t make any sort of pushy comment or sexual action towards him afterwards. He simply brushed it off saying “Your loss”.

As for personality, despite the two appearing extremely different, they have several similarities as well that balance things out. Both are mischievous, witty, quick mouthed, and would often banter as proved in the hunicast streams. (The VAs may not have them completely accurate, but they have a better understanding of the characters as they are the ones performing as them)

Both Alastor and Angel also lived within the same era. The 20s if you wish to be specific. Alastor died in 1933 whereas Angel died in 1947. It wouldn’t be surprising if Angel himself would listen to the radio quite a bit while alive. Not to mention, music tastes (While still extremely different) could overlap.

And while this is hardly any solid means of evidence, while I was studying Alastor’s heritage (Creole) and voodoo, I stumbled across this

“The spirit of beauty, jewelry, dancing, luxury and flowers”

“She represents the epitome of femininity and compassion”

“Her colors are white and pink”

“Sometimes referred to as angel”

So yeah. There’s that.

While I’m aware they won’t be canon, the dynamic this has along with the character development is too appealing to ignore and I’m tired of ppl shitting on Radiodust as an excuse as to why they just don’t ship it. You don’t have to hate a ship in order to not ship it. Just respect others.

#Hazbin Hotel #Alastor #Angel Dust #Radiodust

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shoyouth · 3 years

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hmm... how would vincent, isaac and comte react to mc dying way too early? (like, the month wasn’t even up yet and they died in a carriage accident or something)

warning route spoilers, delusion, death, violence, anger, depression, anxiety, victim blaming

Omg you’re really coming for my heart...I love stuff like this! So sorry for the long wait! <3 I also accidentally started writing this for mozart so lmk if you want this written for more—I’d love to! But god yeah—this is a long one I’m so sorry.

vincent ; you’re not gone, Theo, you’re just busy! On a trip! You’ll come back; you’re his friend. Vincent will be delusional. Though at some point in his route you help him open up, mature a bit, it’s no secret that he’s almost been infantilized by cybird. He’s been portrayed as innocent and naive, so when faced with such pain, it’s almost...he almost can’t handle it. He can’t fathom it. And so to combat pain and trauma he denies it. It’s one of the stages of grief, isn’t it? He just won’t...he won’t come out of it.

At first Theo would want the others to not push Vincent, to let him handle it his own way. He wants to shelter his older brother, but when it’s been months and Vincent’s paintings are only you, it’s only you on the canvas, on the walls, and you’re staining his clothes, his hands, his psyche—even Theo breaks. It’s horrifying, and Theo can’t breathe watching Vincent consume himself with you. Yet when Theo harshly yells that’s you’re gone, “they’re dead, Vincent!” Vincent only giggles.

Vincent is in his head, his dreams, bc you’re there! You’re there for him to pet his hair and coo his name; you’re the perfect muse, so sweet and kind and beautiful—you wouldn’t leave him. You’re immortal in his head, so how can you be gone? They just don’t get it. But if you’re not present in real life, then he’ll just stay in his imagination; anywhere you are.

issac ; issac will...he’ll spiral. He’ll be so overcome by anxiety; anger, guilt. He told you, didn’t he? Getting too close would only hurt you, he—you were two porcupines, and getting too close would only bring pain. He wants to blame you for your death—how could you not see the carriage? You’re not from that time, but surely you’re not so naive! But then he remembers your bright smile as you were reaching for him, his name forming on your lips before—and he breaks down again for the nth time that night as it plays over and over in his head till his vision is bleary and there’s a pounding in his head from the ferocity of his sobs.

Issac is socially awkward and a bit tsundere, but I think this is where the anxiety and anti-social tendencies will solidify into actual issues. He will curl in on himself; even walking down the hall he’s hunched over, shaking with fast-paced calculated steps as he prays that no one approaches him. If they do, he will only ignore them or lash out, scalding words on his tongue. “I didn’t accept a second life to make friends.” He’ll snap at Arthur or Dazai; he’ll even avoid Napoleon, shrugging off his hand on his shoulder with a glare to hold back the tears. He barely leaves his room, much less the mansion; the kids wonder why he won’t come to give lessons and Napoleon will just offer a sad smile. The university head will finally have to be turned away from the mansion by Comte, and the only chores or requests Sebastian’ll receive from Issac will be scribbled notes of paper from under his door.

Issac is just overcome by self-loathing, self-pity; he faced so much pain, betrayal, and loneliness in his past life, so how naive did he have to be to believe that he’d be able to be happy? He had a taste of warmth, of love, of adoration, only for it to be ripped away. And now he adamantly wishes he never felt it at all because he desires it so terribly that it keeps him up at night thinking of you.

comte ; we’re all very aware that comte has a...dark past, shall we say, even if we don’t know the full story. How the shadows fall over his eyes, how he almost seems to become so intense in such short moments that you’re struck with fear and reminded so deeply in your bones that he is a full-blooded vampire.

Now if you were to perish so quickly into meeting he...he won’t be himself. Even the others can tell he’s not the same; they can feel the involuntary shudder down their spines as they hastily look away from his own impenetrable gaze, his brisk walk, the unfaltering thin line of his mouth that at any wrong move seemed more than willing to tear another’s throat out. How could he let this happen? To you? The one bright light who entered his mansion, so pure, so sweet, so perishable. And he did nothing to stop it. He’s powerful, he’s limitless, and you’re the opposite—weak, mortal, and yet when he could extend your lifetime, keep you safe, he did nothing of the sort. Ironically, he didn’t have the time. And that sets him off.

He resorts to smoking, self-loathing; he’s angry, and it’s like molten lava under the surface, ready to decimate all in his wake. We can all tell he’s trying so so hard to maintain a gentlemanly act, to be kind and wise and yet his animalistic tendencies are ready to pounce. He’s so hurt that it was you—so young, so bright—and he’s supposed to be the host, meant to be your guardian to return you safely to your time and he failed. It will speak mass volumes to him of his own failures, his own fears, and your death may destroy his whole purpose in the mansion; you become the haunting metaphor. Though he may return to normal, it will take many years and much coaxing and silent support/stern scoldings from Leonardo to pull him out. He’ll be the shell of himself as he tours the mansions centuries later, the ghost of the residents laced into every touch of his hand on the dusty walls.

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waymorecakeforme · 3 years

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DB chemistry is cute and young, it comes off like first love. DD was in the moment - if you can’t be with the one you love, you love the one you’re with. DK though, is intense, steamy, free spirited. It’s that love you want to hold on to forever. I feel like that’s why neither has tried to revisit it yet, they don’t want to risk losing each other, so they’re settling for the status quo. As long as they can just be, they think they’re going to be ok. I can’t wait for them to be a real couple 🥰

Oooooh I'm glad you sent me this! Bc I've been thinking ab it.

Dickb@bs: I think the writers did something with having Babs flashback start with her breaking the rules/law. Makes me think this is Dick's start to his rebellion against Batman, him teaming up with her to steal jewelry. And then at the bar, he's portrayed as so young and naive, and her as more, idk - little bit older? Rebellious? Like, when Dick said, "we make sense"...I think, he wants to be what she wants/needs because 1.) He is obviously attracted to her and 2.) She's a way to rebel against everything Bruce taught him...and it's just the kickstart of his full blown defiance that we eventually see. Idk. It's interesting bc in Titans, at least what we've seen so far, it doesn't seem either of them were "in love" with each other, but more so using each other. Dick to go against the notion that he's in Batman's shadow and Babs to go against her father. Did they have real feelings for each other? Sure. Maybe. Not saying they didn't, I just think they weren't as strong as their feelings were for rebellion. Teenage rebellion, gotta love it.

Dickdawn: rebound. Lol. I have nothing else, tbh. That's literally all it was.

Dickkory: freedom. If Babs represented Dick's desire to break from from Batman/Bruce, then Kory represents the aftermath of finally getting that freedom and all it's glory.

It's late here and I'm half asleep so hopefully that makes sense bc I am too tired to elaborate further, my bad lol

I would love to hear other opinions on this!

#titans #titans s3 #titans spoilers #dickkory #dc titans #starfire #titans 2018 #titans season 3 #teen titans

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dragonstoned · 4 years

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taichi/touma was always the plan

yes way, tai, you dumb disaster bi

hear me out ok? i tried to be brief. tried. :D so first: why didn’t kaito just go the whole way and have an arc of them dating!?!? because kaito didn’t want to. that doesn’t mean hints weren’t there from the start, that this was unplanned. it’s just clearer in hindsight bc few thought shonen jump+ would go there.

there’re already great posts about taichi being bi but lemme breeze through-- there’s the suspect looks and blushes he gives touma (ex: above pic). flattering, sexy shots of touma from taichi’s POV. his behavior, thoughts, and epic meltdown after touma confesses; far too strong for just a straight dude dealing with being confessed to.

“but the manga was 52 chapters of romance with futaba!” look at the chapter 1 splash page. three hands in a love triangle. taichi+touma’s relationship is intensely and lovingly portrayed: highs, lows, tenderness. touma is shoved into the romantic tension more than warranted for simple unrequited suffering. remember when futaba+taichi get together? the cut to gayngst and “hey touma, what about you” right in the middle of it? we learn they’re dating on a dark page after a blushy touma+taichi scene as if to say “oh no! what about touma’s heart now?” btw taichi+touma is not wholly immune to romance tropes. heck there’s a kabedon lol. futaba even says taichi’s considering touma.

futaba+taichi’s relationship is meaningful and sweet. but later on, their romance doesn’t really get developed, especially from taichi’s end. like, they exchange charms but those never become significant unlike touma’s bday gift. they’re faced with separation in college but it doesn’t generate much dramatic tension in the story. on the other hand after that talk, taichi thinks about what he loves and wants for the future and immediately flashbacks to touma’s words and touma’s Bittersweet Yearning Face. futaba+taichi still have cute moments but the relationship takes a backseat narratively, which is... not usually what you want for your endgame

again, how taichi acts after touma’s confession is... uh. he has good reason to be distracted but it’s still not encouraging? the phone call where he says “i love you” but then “i don’t talk to me about touma” + hanging up like a repressed asshole refusing to face Inconvenient Feelings? the way futaba’s insecurity doesn’t get onscreen reassurance from him and is validated by the fact that he married touma in the end lol? and after going apeshit when touma stops coming to school, it’s interesting that what takes him out of his long BSOD is “best friend power” in the charm. an affirmation of taichi+touma’s friendship, and happiness without competition, but also what stopped touma from confessing in an earlier scene, instead maintaining the status quo between him and taichi lol

“but he no-homo’d him at the beach!” he himself says: just because the feelings aren’t the same doesn’t mean they’re not there. yet. what’s important to him is to keep touma around despite the difficulties. and when he says he’d been of jealous not of touma exactly but of how touma is around his friends it seems like nothing but i uh, hm. his other big realization here is that futaba inspired him. he’d wanted to help her because he wanted to change, too, like her. which is warm and lovely but not super romantic and actually kinda echoes futaba’s “ideal vs jealousy” epiphany about attraction lol hmm.

also. this manga doesn’t treat high school decisions are permanent, quite the opposite. SO!! in conclusion!!!

between taichi's latent attraction to touma from the start, opened to the possibility of touma as a romantic option, taichi+futaba’s relationship gaining less narrative and emotional weight later on, in contrast to the highkey emotions and overall focus on taichi+touma, and miscellaneous things i haven’t talked about like their tender handholding threaded throughout... all the foreshadowing set against the manga’s theme of continually choosing the future...

the endgame really is cohesive with the whole manga imo

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skiecas · 2 years

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so glad i found you had social media so i could let you know how much i LOVE your writing for iwaoi! i had read one of your older works we shine like diamonds a while back and didn’t realize you’re the same author as skiecas, but to see the growth in your writing was also really inspiring. if you don’t mind me asking but do you have any suggestions for other writers on how to improve and to avoid portraying characters as ooc? bc i think you characterize iwaoi perfectly. also how does one learn or get better at the more teen+ scenes if you know what i mean lol i am very shy (yes even as someone in their twenties ha) and can never bring myself to write things with the slightest hint of anything more than a hs romance if you catch my drift…but any tips would be greatly appreciated!! i usually don’t read things besides gen/teen, except for a few…like your works and i think you do it really well, iwaoi’s love for each other and intensity of it is portrayed really well in your stories. pls feel free to address/share as much as you like :)

goshh, this msg meant a whole lot to me ;;o;; i had a period in 2016-2017 when i was really unhappy with everything i wrote, and i even left fandom for a bit bc it just wasn’t putting me in a good headspace (which is around the time i moved over to this blog). but now, i see some growth in my own writing as well, and i’m super happy with where my writing is now! and this might be the first time anyone besides myself has commented on it, which is so special to me!! so thank you!!❤️

i’m going to ramble a whole bunch about writing & everything you asked of me, so i’ll place it under the cut!! ^.^

let me just start by saying that as much as i’m happier with my current writing, i think writing is a craft that’s constantly evolving and always has room for improvement! i still hope to get better and better the more i write!

e.g. back when i posted ‘diamonds,’ i was SUPER happy with it! but now i have a hard time looking back on it, since my writing has changed sm ^^; so maybe i’ll feel the same way about my current fics a few years from now, haha. and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. nothing wrong with appreciating where you began, but loving where you are currently more, and striving to get even better.

ok!! with that said,

this might be sort of a “cliche” answer, but i personally think the best way to get better at writing is to read more!! read lots of books, read lots of fics, look closely at the things you enjoyed reading the most, pick apart writing styles, adopt the things you like. the things that i like writing also tend to be the things that i like reading, and vice versa. i also just get REALLY inspired when i read good books, or good fics, or hear good song lyrics. that’s the kind of thing that kickstarts my inspiration, so it’s no wonder my writing tends to reflect that, too!

another thing i would say is to practice lots!! WRITE more!!

this is true for writing style, but also true for “ooc-ness.”

do i think the first time i ever wrote iwaoi, that it was the most beautiful, most in-character, or the most “correct” way to write them? absolutely not! ((i probs can’t go back and looks at those fics either, urkk)).

but i kept writing them!! lots and lots! there was a point when i was writing iwaoi every single day. and over time, i began to see what i like about them, or what about them matters most to me. i asked myself questions, like, do i think oikawa is an easy crier? do i think iwa gets insecure? as much as iwa delivers words of affirmation to oikawa, do i think he would spout poetry right to his face?

((the answer to all those is no, though to different degrees. but those are discussions for another day))

e.g. to tie my two points together, i remember back in 2017, i read a couple fics in which i REALLY enjoyed the seijoh4 dynamic. i was super inspired and wanted to try writing their bantering + their easygoing relationship for myself, which is how ‘galaxies’ came about. and i had sm FUN writing that fic!! and it ended up setting the tone for how i write ALL my iwaois and seijoh4s now. it was as simple as just experimenting and practicing.

also, i straight up just ask myself, “is this smth i think teenage boys would say?” bc as much as the haikyuu boys are passionate and say some v poetic things, they’re all just dumb, teenage boys at the end of the day. and i like my characterizations to reflect that! like, i want them to feel “real” rather than just characters who just say whatever i wanted them to say, if that makes sense. reading dialogue aloud can help with that, too!

my writing process has also changed quite a bit since my earlier days in the fandom!

i stopped jumping headfirst into fics. now, i like to sit down and do at least a little planning. create scenes. bridge gaps. think about the overall themes or parallels i want present throughout the fic. i do A LOT of research now as i write, too, even if it might not be outright obvious in my fics; i like things to feel authentic, and real, even things as simple as high school schedules or what drinks you can find in a jpn vending machine, hehe.

and i go back to the source material a lot too. when i wrote ’the walk home,’ i had a 3-page spreadsheet on kuroken, and everything they like, dislike, the scenes they have together, their childhood. and i had a bunch of their manga panels open too ((rip my computer)). this helps sm with knowing charas, esp those you’re not familiar with writing.

also, if good dialogue pops into your head, WRITE IT DOWN!!! as detailed as possible!! this is my saving grace :”D

that’s kind of the basics, but you can read a more in-depth look into my process here if you’d like!

some more technical things i’ve learned or changed in my writing over the past few years:

— vary sentence structure! it’s not fun to read big blocks of writing, or long run-on sentences, at least for me. no matter how poetic they might be. long and short sentences are both equally good! sometimes the best fics are simple but still full of impact.

— a balance between dialogue and prose is important! this, i struggled with, since i was never very confident in my dialogues. but i’ve been working hard at it! i’m trying to inject more wit into my charas, at least, lol.

— i LOVE “say/said” and “replied” sm!!! i try not to be scared to use them lots, bc honestly, sometimes they’re the perfect words.

— write what you like!!!! seriously!! i think when you’re having fun writing, your fics reflect that. i have a BLAST writing seijoh4 or national team shenanigans, and i will try to include them wherever i can in my fics. and i’m v lucky that other people seem to enjoy those scenes, too :”)

lastly, as for explicit scenes,

that’s not exactly my forte either, i’m sorry ^^;

do i consider myself the casanova of explicit fics? absolutely not. i even have a hard time looking back over my own explicit scenes. that’s bc i myself am in that “practicing” phase when it comes to writing those scenes! i don’t write them often, unless i think a fic would benefit from it (which was the case with ‘chasing gold’)).

though i WILL say, it helps to have a friend whose more comfortable with explicit-rated things to look over things and ask for advice!

but i also don’t think a fic NEEDS anything nsfw to be good. really, truly. if you’re not comfortable writing it, no need to push yourself. i try sometimes when i genuinely want to, but i’ve also written 40k+ word fics in which the pair didn’t even KISS at the end, and i WOULD do it again, lolol

i wish i could be more help in this area, nonnie. but alas, i must admit to my own weakness😔

#r #i hope this helps at all!#as always. i'm terrible at giving writing advice #pls feel free to ask more q's or for elaboration if anything is unclear!

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caffiine · 4 years

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A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS. I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being” but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back.

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you.

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

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soleconfidante · 4 years

Text

was tagged by @midnightin, @fiveyaaas and @jubberry, thank you sm !! 🌼

rules: tell us a lil bit about the fics that got ya started, the vibe fics, the gateway fics, the ones that made you think, “oh shit......I ship it.”

im tagging @andthebalance, @apocalypsefive, @pbmarshmallowsandwich, @eh-meh, @hellstenglow and anyone who might want to gush about the fantastic fics that we have in this fandom :^)

i must say that by the time i started reading fics i had already been a fiveya enthusiast for a bit BUT these are some of the firsts that i read and they definitely sparked more of my love towards the ship

a storm you can weather by rappaccini

i remember this being my introduction to fiveya fics and i couldnt have picked something better bcs it left such an impact on me that i have to read it again every now and then. the atmosphere is perfect, i could see everything described so clearly in my head and i adored this “grittier” take on vanya. the ending always makes me smile after all that angst. what i mean to say is you absolutely cant miss this one (or any of the other works by the author for that matter). “He goes to Griddys, and takes a butter knife to a gunfight.” [chefs kiss] outstanding line. its also a character study that is incredibly well thought-out.

the pull of you by sweetheartbitterheart

AHHHH so many feelings about this one, a whole classic imo. regency au, served the whole p&p vibes and more. super talented author once again. i was holding my breath or giggling like a dumbass at ALL of their interactions throughout this, the prose, dialogues and subtleties are delicious. side-characters on point too!!!!!

Nothing Will Ever Be Enough by fiveyaaas

well, it wouldnt be a fiveya fic rec without tori who is always blessing the fandom w/ their works. this was the first fic that i read by them and some time later i can say without a doubt that their smuts and fics as a whole never fail to deliver, this is def an uhhhhh intense and angsty one for sure. god tier, the jealousy was delightful. 👀👀👀👀 sparrow!five/vanya/five, enough said.

nearly didn't notice the gentlest feeling by sweetheartbitterheart

another one that i cherish a lot... actually, let me just go ahead and pretend this is canon instead of s2. it captures the vibe that five and vanya have in the show so well, their tenderness makes my heart combust. “So you still love me?" she tries to play it off as teasing but there's a hint of insecurity in her voice, some shyness in her smile. Five can't allow that. "Of course I do.” YUPPP the tears are falling forever after that. also the hargreeves dynamics here are portrayed wonderfully, vanya remebering what she did to allison for example was heartbreaking and a cathartic moment we deserved. also ben knowing all along is too real lmao.

klaus at the end was the cherry on top obviously, big same.

#fiveya #tried to tag some fiveyas that i assume havent done this yet but if you have or dont want to no worries #im so behind when it comes to reviewing fics i hate it #tag game

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yunsoh · 4 years

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could u rank aaaall the characters u can think of from fave to least fave?

i won’t do every single one because there’s literally too many characters in this series but i’ll rank the ones that i have opinions about;

1. yuki -- a shocker i know but it cannot be helped. he’s been my favorite since day one. hands down my favorite character arc in the story, i think it’s just so impactful not just for a romance series but for a story so focused on cyclical trauma. he’s a cryptic little weirdo but he’s also just like..... achingly normal and relatable. (i mean........ isn’t that just his whole character development......). big romantic, so kind and genuinely good but also he’s a big bastard and i love that for him. his and tohru’s relationship? his development surrounding it?? the best of the best. just standout to me. mwah. absolutely iconic.

2. kakeru -- for a character i didn’t even remember when i went back to reread the series a few years ago he is like....... quite literally on the brain all the time now lmfao. technical-wise i think he stands as a really interesting juxtaposition to our main trio in the sense that he has the qualities they initially lack, but he struggles with and has to actively work on aspects that are very inherent to all three of them. he just holds a unique perspective that i appreciate, esp since it’s so critical to challenging yuki’s. vibes-wise i think he’s both interestingly complicated and a fucking fool. absolutely lame and refuses to acknowledge it. love him.

3. machi -- the ways in which my opinion about her character have changed over the past year....... okay so if we’re talking like, strictly canon machi i don’t think she would be this high up (still top 10 probably) but considering the mental energy i’ve put into reconsidering her character & story and just like.... the fact that i think about her as much as i do..... i kind of can’t not have her up here lmfao. idk i think she had a lot of potential that got dropped in canon which is a shame, but i think i’ve talked that point to death so. anyways. i do just love her. she just has those vibes you know. no bullshit, secretly rabid, depressed & doing her best. yeah. takaya nerfed her because she realized she would just end up giving her the same gay subtext she gave yuki and u know how she feels about that.

4. haru -- god what is there not to love abt him. i think he makes me laugh the most throughout the series but he’s also sooo fucking intense at times it’s sick. especially since he usually stands as a chill and grounded point while everyone else is going crazy..... again just immaculate vibes. just so much love in his heart. like he genuinely just wants people to be happy and having a good time. i do also wish his character/issues were explored a little more (maybe in lieu of characters who like.... didn’t really need a character arc lmao) but it’s not a dealbreaker. boy rlly almost exposed the sohmas to the whole school though huh.

5. kyo -- he’s actually somewhat tied with tohru but i think he has just an edge above her for me because he’s such a grouch LMAO. idk there’s just something about how he’s very prickly but suuuch a softie and romantic under it all that just gets me. in a weird way though, he ticks a lot of my boxes but isn’t exactly a character that i’m strongly drawn to? i like him, but i don’t really reread his chapters/rewatch his eps. something about him doesn’t click exactly right for me..... maybe bc his story is strictly romance-focused (and honestly tends towards the melodramatic that i’m a bit ‘hm’ about). that said he lucked out with getting a satisfying ending to his arc and he’s made me cry at least once so gg.

6. tohru -- every time i think about her i’m just like. can we pleeeeease get this girl a therapist. yes they all need therapy but like..... hello can someone help..... anyways she’s just so lovingly made and i think her progression is super super well done. how her issues and grief manifest and really take form in the series over time is just...... oog...... it’s just perfect. i really appreciate that we get to see a character who is stereotypically feminine and mother-like actually struggle under those traits, but doesn’t abandon them once she overcomes her issues. she’s not a go-to character for me like, personality-wise ig (again.... melodrama....) but i do love her. icon.

7. uo -- back in middle school i think she was actually my favorite character after yuki.... and tbh is it such a coincidence that i couldn’t remember the second half of the series when i visited it again in my 20s lmaoooo. first-half series uo is just so fresh. i love that people find her threatening and yet she’s just this chill harsh-mouth who’s also incredibly tender-hearted and vulnerable. just genuinely funny and insightful every time she’s on the page. her friendship with kyo is also pretty standout to me it makes me laugh every time, and ofc her love for tohru... well u know. meanwhile second-half series uo um.... who’s that lol..... she only takes a place above hana here because i have really affectionate memories about just loving & admiring her when i was younger.

8. hana -- more or less tied with uo. she’s a constant mood and i love her for it. i guess i could say “second-half hana idk her” here too, but that’s just more because she just literally drops off the face of the earth after a certain point. but whatever, i love that she walks around with psychic powers and everyone knows it but it’s never questioned because everyone is just so fuckin weird it doesn’t matter. takes no shit, could kill you without leaving evidence. vibes. i also think her backstory is really beautiful and her relationship with tohru is just gorgeous. just a perfect support character.

9. shigure -- okay he actually also used to be a fave back in the day. i think he’s just fun to think about...... his perspective and his purpose in the story is pretty fascinating and i think it’s one that you gain new insight on with each reread. he just stews in this incredibly morally grey area and that’s where he stays. truly a character that you either love or you loathe. i mean at the heart of things he’s a conniving bastard who has fuckin problems LMAO but he’s also just so.... aggravatingly lackadaisical when he’s not actively being a shit-stirrer.... just “cause problems on purpose & chill” energy. ends justify the means to the bitter core. problematique. his story w akito is fucking batshit and the series wouldn’t be the same without it, the energy of that with the rest of the story?? what the fuck dude. meanwhile i do love his relationships with the main trio & the other sohma kids.

10. ayame -- king.... he’s just 110% all the time and i think that his existence is just the most exquisite dunk on his family’s rigid upholding of conservatism and tradition it’s truly sexy of him. he does what he wants and tbh, it’s worked in his favor for the most part. when he’s on screen you know some stupid shit is about to go down. and of course i really love his and yuki’s relationship and how it impacts them both over the series...... good shit rlly. a fabulous menace.

11. kimi -- she’s literally just up here because she’s goddamn funny and i love her relationships with kakeru and yuki. no deep traumatic lore just a girl owning the fact that she’s cute smart as hell and knows how to get what she wants. a brat to the core. idk she’s just pure fun and i think that’s necessary in a story where even the designated clown characters (kakeru, ayame) have fairly dark moments. also i think about the “his wallet 💖” moment too often.

12. komaki -- okay. so. she is not this high up on the list because of who she is in canon. she’s this high up purely because of how i’ve recreated her in my brain lmfao. i think she’s borderline unnecessary in canon (i like that we see the other side of the accident, but the execution of it is just. not it.), but my extensive daydream universe where i just overload her with headcanons to give her any sort of character beyond “kakeru’s cute girlfriend” lands her up here. i also just think of her too much as an extension of thinking about kakeru too much. sue me.

13. momiji -- honestly i’m having kind of a hard time placing him because i do like him, i think he’s funny and sweet and of course has his own brand of issues going on, but...... i don’t think i have any strong feelings about his story? i think he brings a necessary lightness to the cast, but when it comes down to some individual aspects of his narrative (involving his mom/momo, his unrequited crush on tohru) ...hm.... i think his complicated feelings about the curse are really poignant though and that part of his story especially slaps for me.

14. akito -- hmm... hm.... i like how akito stands as tohru’s narrative foil and i think the parallels between the two are pretty rich...... but i really struggle with just how fucking exhausting she is lmfao. the lengths of her derangement are just 2 much for me personally, and i feel like the ending really failed her as far as her personal growth goes (which? i think is super fucking detrimental considering how takaya tries to portray her as like, “reformed” or something along those lines.... i just don’t buy it. her having a normal functioning relationship with SHIGURE??? lmaoooooo. please). i do appreciate the level of darkness she brings to the story, and how her behaviors form and completely fuck the family over, but...... i don’t necessarily enjoy her........ tiring queen.

15. rin -- ah... tragic, vitriolic goth.... i do like her, and i think i could place her above akito depending on the day, but her story doesn’t really stand out to me. like, it’s obviously incredibly sad, but it’s really unfortunate that we don’t see her develop in a way that actually..... you know.... develops her character.... idk it sucks that she’s written in a way where she’s fruitlessly sacrificing herself mentally and physically for haru and there’s never really a point where it feels like she can just relax and consider herself and her own needs (or even like. like herself). she starts and ends the story feeling completely broken from trauma and i just think there should have been more of an intervening point somewhere in there, which i think could have been achieved with more time between her and tohru. as is she’s just kind of all-around tragic which :’/ bummer. she deserved more growth.

16. mayu -- honestly i still don’t really get why she of all of the characters has a backstory chapter. i think her friendship with kana is pretty heartbreaking but it also doesn’t... do much for me.... after the fact... so i don’t know what to think about it. her crush on hatori is kind of weird and i don’t fully understand it in canon. but you know what. she’s funny and i like her attitude. for the most part, i like when she’s on-screen. i think she has a really funny relationship with her students and is this chill no-bullshit kind of figure. her friendship with the mabudachi boys is nice even though i think it’s delivered a little weird at times (which is more or less because it can be easy to forget that she. knows them lmfao). yeah. i like her but takaya really made some decisions with her huh. also i originally didn’t add her to this list but i’m just sticking her in here last second so yes there’s a note in hatori’s bit that doesn’t make sense now but it’s staying.

17. kyoko -- so i kind of have some blasé feelings about kyoko, except when it comes to her backstory, in which case i am just... upset lmfao..... the adult version we see of kyoko is sweet and at times like, pretty funny in just how blunt/harsh she can come across as, but in general my feelings about the parents in furuba are just like.... oh you’re a nice parent.... oh you’re a fucking horrible parent..... etc. you know? it’s usually pretty one or the other (some parents are a little more complicated than others -- tbh kakeru’s mom comes to mind), and she’s obviously portrayed as a good parent, esp since we see her primarily through memory. anyways, her backstory is just tragic. she went from one abusive situation to the next and was then left to be a single mom at like, 19/20, traumatized and with just about no support system, and while i understand that she was able to become the kyoko we see in the present because of tohru.... idk i think i still feel a kind of unresolved dissonance between backstory kyoko and the kyoko we see later on. and i think that largely has to do with the fact that we (purposefully) don’t see the parent’s perspectives -- so she ends up in this transitory stage. i have no idea how this would be resolved lmao i think it just is what it is.

18. hatori -- i’m also struggling to place him because i think he’s sooo so poignant in the beginning of the story but i don’t really pay much attention to him later on. which is a shame considering his introduction is to me the first real punch to the gut regarding just how deep the issues go with the sohmas. i don’t feel inclined to really think of him very often, but i just think there could have been more done for him. i think trying to tie up his issues with a romance just doesn’t really work and is also irrelevant to his? actual problems? (also sorry i’m just remembering that this is another symptom of takaya pulling another wacky coincidence maam they don’t all have to know each other i repeat they don’t all have to fucking know each other--) anyways i feel like his resolution wrt his issues with his family/the curse is kinda.... glossed over..... unless i’m just completely forgetting something.

19. hiro -- i used to hate this kid. straight up. now i think he’s just like.... a typical smart-mouth 12 year old...... so he’s alright lmfao. i think his relationship with rin is interesting but it’s pretty forgettable. i don’t really care about his relationship with kisa or the parallel it makes with kyoru, but i do like the scene where he tells her about his curse breaking. he does mature in a nice way over the series. oh and the panel of him holding his sister makes me cry idk dudes. alright maybe i’ll place him above kagura just on that right alone.

20. kagura -- do i feel justified putting her this far down on the list? i dunno. her relationship with kyo isn’t my favorite (i just find it obnoxious) but i think she’s pretty funny and cute otherwise..... thing is kyo takes up like 95% of her story so there isn’t much otherwise 2 speak of. really wish her relationship with rin could have been explored more tbh i think that could have had potential. honestly my feelings about her change with the phases of the moon so while i don’t care much about her right now two weeks from now i’ll probably feel more inclined to bump her up to the momiji-rin range. which i feel like says enough about her character for me lmfao.

21. kisa -- she’s alright? i think she’s cute but she doesn’t really do much for me after her intro chapters (which. i only like so much bc they’re a big part of yuki’s narrative tbh). yeah. honestly not much to say about her :(

22. ritsu -- sighs.... man...... ritsu could have just been so much more but canon doesn’t give us much and i really don’t think about them otherwise. like truly they just completely disappear for the whole meat of the story LMAO...... what the fuck.....

23. nao -- he’s not so far down at the bottom because i hate him, he only has this placement because you could literally take him out of the story and i wouldn’t fucking notice lmao. i never think about him and i don’t rlly want to. next.

24. kureno -- uuuugh uuuughhhhhhh. the wasted potential of this fucking guy. would it have been so hard to drop the creepy romance plotline and just put more effort into his story regarding his place in the family....... his symbolism...... fuck even just giving him a personality. ugh. honestly i think we could have benefitted from a pov chapter from him to get a better sense of all of this instead of just extrapolating but. alas. looking at him gives me the residual taste of cardboard and regret. i had actually originally placed him above both nao and ritsu because at least he gives me something to think about, but it didn’t feel right. i actively dislike seeing this dude because i just know that his storyline is fucked from start to finish -- not in a narrative way like akito or rin, but in a way that just gives me the impression that his character was never 100% there. all this drama over a man who only wears button-ups and khakis. despicable.

25. katsuya -- yeah i know boring typical answer and surprise to no one but there is just nothing redeemable about this dude to me. i won’t lie, i think i would consider his character differently if the narrative had any intention whatsoever to condemn him, but obviously that doesn’t happen so here we are. anyways tohru baby you were right to dislike him just like...... lean a little more into it yknow........ yeah. i considered maybe not putting him on here because of my general attitude about the furuba parents but the fact that the story tries to paint him in a positive light just makes kyoko’s backstory borderline unbearable to read. bad.

#'i won't do all of them' lists 25 fucking characters. actually why are there so many gd characters in this story.#yes i know technically a few of these i don't really have opinions on but i needed to complete the zodiac & stuco lists 😔✌#fruits basket #fruits basket spoilers #answered #Anonymous

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taikanyohou · 4 years

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The reaction was really interesting. I agreed with a lot of Bright’s point and it was nice to see a different perspective. I really wish they had showed it in the show. You can tell Bright is really attached to Sarawat and it hurts his heart to see the pain. It also showed me that the finale could have been loads better with a few cute scenes and a proper discussion. This is what Bright was talking about. At the end of the day it was the lack of communication.

Ahh I loved that reaction video and I loved seeing Bright talking about Sarawat’s point of view. I’m sure one of the reasons they bought him was the amount of shit he was getting from some people. This however also showed me what the show lacked. Though I loved 2gether.. most of the time we saw things were Tine’s perspective. It would have really been good to see it from Sarawat’s perspective in the last episode. You can also see Bright’s frustration at times with how they portrayed Sarawat.

I assume you watching the reaction video atm! Let me say this boy gives me heart attacks like how thoughtful he is and wants to explain sarawat’s every move since episode 12 and why he acted the way he acted. I felt like he kept it inside for so long that it needed to be spoken out like when he wanted to see a reaction from P’Jennie how he looked away and then right back at her. He was so stressed and on the edge the whole time! How he repeatedly said he’s sorry for Sarawat cause he knows that everyone was sorry for Tine but didn’t get to see/understand his side of version. He also zoned out in a couple of scenes like this boy has sooo many emotions and it feels it’s too overwhelming for him(I feel that at least). I’m so grateful that Bright exists and talk about loving a man and to feel love so freely!! He could’ve said so much in the end but instead it was more like an apology for hurting Tine and how his character works. He understands Sarawat so much. I’ll cry. I didn’t thought my opinion would be that long... he’s speaking so enthusiastically about Sarawat and what his character taught him. This boy is really a blessing for the 2gether + lgbt+ community I love him he’s a child like a babie :((

Bright just wants to smooch his co-star but the universe won’t let him.

hiii anons!!! i’m gonna combine all of your asks into one bc we’re all essentially talking about the same thing.

yeah. so. the ep 13 reaction video. lets talk about it.

firstly, i ... it will never cease to astound me just how much bright loves sarawat? he knows him with every fibre of himself. he knows sarawat right down to the tendon and bone of him. like. bright’s taken so much time out to character study sarawat, get into his psyche and mind and heart. and. i hate novel! sarawat, but, bright’s taken that character, and made it his own, completely transforming him. and that takes so much understanding and commitment and passion. truly, we don’t deserve bright. we really don’t. and i am so thankful we got bright to play sarawat. no body else could have done sarawat better than bright. so much so that like .... they both overlap, bright and sarawat. sometimes its hard to distinguish where sarawat ends and bright begins.

and like some of yall said, i think it was a very clever ... move (?) ... to star bright to react to ep 13, solo, without win. bc, like yall mentioned, and like im gonna dwell on now: 2gether was entirely from tine’s perspective. it reminds me a bit of skam, in that way, that ... ya know even tho i’ve watched skam and i should KNOW this, but i still forget just how POWERFUL perspectives are. and how much they influence your way of thinking. i touched upon this after ep 12, but now after watching bright react to the whole of ep 13, like, it comes back to that. we saw everything through tine’s eyes. and so, it felt like, sarawat’s side needed to be justified. but it could never be done on the show bc the show was about tine’s perspective. and the only way it could have been done, is if they both would have talked.

which brings me onto my next point, that bright mentions - the biggest barrier and fault was they both don’t know how to talk. i touched upon this just yday actually, how sarawat is someone who doesn’t know how to talk, he’s more of a do-er (like bright said), whereas tine is someone who overthinks himself to the point of sickness and anxiety and so he doesn’t know how to voice that out, and like bright said, tine is someone who is EXTREMELY obedient - if someone says something to him to do, tine will go along and do that and won’t say no to them. which means that tine himself has had very little experience of going with his gut and how he feels, and when he comes face to face in a situation like that, it becomes Very overwhelming for him.

so, it was really clever to have bright on, solo, to explain everything from his and sarawat’s perspective. especially the bit where bright was like “everytime someone flirted with tine, wat never once questioned his trust for tine or their love, he would go directly to the person in question and deal with them.” and ... ya know, that’s more easier for sarawat to do, than it is for tine, who isn’t like that at all - like bright said, tine is the more obedient one who just follows along everybody else’s suggestions and has never really used his agency to decision make for himself.

and so ... yeaah. like. people sent a LOT of verbal abuse to bright after ep 12. and bright even said he knew it would happen, bc the entire series is from tine’s perspective, he understood that from well before. so he says he was prepared, but he still didn’t come on social media that often bc he got so much verbal abuse over it.

and like, i’ve said before, just like how jennie and go said in the reaction video, that we should have got less flashbacks in the finale, and instead, we could have had a more sweeter scene. that could have been and should have been a proper, open and honest conversation between tine and sarawat, or, as bright suggested, a kiss. so, ya know, as some people were saying that maybe bright was just uncomfortable about kissng win??? no. no he wouldnt be AT ALL. it just ... never occured in the script. but yeah. i think .......... it really did get to bright - that sarawat never on the show got a chance to explain.

which honestly makes me feel like thats why half the time he would improvise as sarawat? and add in things he KNOWS sarawat would/should do bc he KNOWS the depths of his love for tine so he used those moments so smartly to show that (a sign of v v v good acting!!!). like a marriage proposal, or putting tine’s hand over his shoulder, or adding in cheek kisses. like. bright’s really gone over and beyond for sarawat and tried to show just how intensely in love wat is with tine, with the little space and room for manoeuvre that he got granted.

idk if the some of scripts were written in a rush? i mean, 2gether was the FIRST show from gmmtv to air in 2020 - if i’m correct???? - so, between november to february, the had to get everything shooted and done, but they MUST have started script writing earlier than that. idk ...

personally, i do wish we did get some more of the novel scenes in the show. like, sarawat and tine coming out to sarawat’s dad was SUCH a BEAUTIFUL scene in the novel but we never got it on the show. why? bc it was from sarawat’s perspective, not tine’s. another really nice scene, is the cinema scene where they held hands, but on the show we got a different version of it, where instead, they talked about a happy or tragic ending before tine decides to accept being wat’s boyfriend and they hug (i like that scene though, purely bc we got to see win’s crying which was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING! and the hug was SUPER sweet!).

but yeah, it .... idk. seeing bright in that reaction video in some moments Hurt. bc .... there was so much he wanted to say but he kept it in. and he’d just glance and sigh and look down or away bc he GETS sarawat in a way i think nobody else does. and so ..... had the show had more time, or was able to cut out some scenes and replace them with other and rewrite bits, we could have gotten sarawat’s perspective, and not had the show completely butcher sarawat’s image in ep 12 the way they did, only for them to then have less than one episode, a finale no less, to save his face again, whilst also tying up every other plot at the same time.

like, bright has SO MUCH to offer as sarawat. and bright says he doesnt know about a season 2 (yet), but, ya know, if we ever got to see tine and sarawat again, i kinda wish they allow bright more freedom - bc he understands his character a lot more better than the writers do, i feel. he gets sarawat on soul deep level. so i just wish they’d give bright more freedom to be sarawat. and i have no doubt that, if that had been the case, we would have gotten a LOT more physical intimacy between tine and sarawat. i’m not mad about the lack of it, but, i’m assuming that bright would have really made sarawat be a lot more physical with tine. but at the same time, i agree with bright when he said that tine and wat are people who show their affections to one another in private - which is why i am SO ...... upset that we never got to see tine and wat ALONE in the one year later scene, bc, like i said, they WOULD have been a LOT LOT LOT more intimate then. but they weren’t alone. so they weren’t intimate. which. yeah.

but at the same time, ya know, bright’s so .... like. he gets where the hurt for tine stems from. just like how he gets sarawat’s character, he gets tine’s too. but like he said, he’s lived and breathed wat since day one - and so, i think he just really wanted a chance to explain everything from sarawat’s point of view. he really didn’t need to apologise at all, and yet he did, on behalf of wat hurting tine.

so whilst i know its just said that oh ya know bright should just write the whole of s2, i kinda wish, if we were to get one, that they writers would sit down and LISTEN to bright and win and take some input of theirs in, since, they’re the ones who KNOW their characters and play them.

but yeah, bright’s mind. his intellect. his knowing of sarawat ............. it will never cease to amaze to me just how dedicated he was at an emotional and psychological level to play sarawat.

#faiza answers

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sinagrace · 4 years

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Iceman’s been back on my mind lately. It started with the internet rumor that Shia Labeouf was being considered to play the role of Bobby Drake in a Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the X-Men. My DMs and @Mentions on social media were a mixture of intense reaction and then asking my take on who would make a great Bobby Drake (for the record: in my head I always saw him as a younger Antoni Porowski with a theater background, ‘cuz playing the funny guy with a vulnerable streak requires serious acting shops). My mind went back to the time of BC, when I was doing a lot of touring, and answering this very question because of my work on the Iceman book at Marvel. One thing led to another, and I decided to take a trip further down memory lane to look at my favorite volume of the series: Amazing Friends. Now, I know I’ve spent equal amounts of time publicly stating what a gift working on Iceman was, while also calling out the challenges that came with the experience, but the third volume really was a pure blessing. I was able to take every valuable lesson I learned as a writer, and apply it to telling a story that would be interesting to one person: Me. I’ve been a lifelong X-Men fan, I live and breathe comics, so my own expectations for a return to the series seemed like the only ones to really worry about meeting/ surpassing. The first two volumes had been so bogged down by rotating editors, complex continuity, company-wide events, multiple artists… The third volume was my chance to focus on what an Iceman series was outside of so much context. All that mattered was challenging myself to do an X-Men story that focused on the aspects of the franchise I felt were valuable and relevant, meaning: excuses to have Emma Frost be an asshole and finding an opportunity to make fun of Kitty Pryde’s haircut. Before moving on from Marvel, Axel Alonso made time to call me for a pep talk about the series. I wanted to get the series extended, and he wanted to help me succeed with the ten issues he could commit to. First, he offered an eleventh issue to give me more time on the stands. He took a look at everything I had planned, and basically told me to restructure with an eye for ramping up the pace. My writing background comes from prose and essays/ think pieces… both of which are methodical and provide some allowance from the reader to really take your time and set up the world before diving into the meat. That’s not the case with comics. You gotta work fast. Especially in today’s market, there is less and less room for a retailer to say, “give it two volumes, because shit starts really coming together by the third trade.” That was literally my speech for hooking people on such iconic series as Invincible, Fables, and Strangers in Paradise. Nowadays, every single issue is not a brick to be laid down as foundation so much as a bullet in your gun. Conflicting imagery, but that’s the point. Axel told me to think about the Big Moments in my life and sort out how to inject the mutant metaphor into it and make the most compelling comic book story I could. This was epic advice that I took with me into the new arc, but I struggled a bit with what could be bigger than the “coming out” storyline in volume one. Love was off the table because I wanted to keep Bobby single and ready to mingle. Death was off the table too, because my editor felt like we’d done enough with Bobby’s parents in the first two volumes. Upon looking at my own life, and considering the stuff me and my friends were dealing with, I landed on something a bit more reflective than LIFE or DEATH. I wanted to focus on that moment when a gay guy looks outside of himself and realizes the folks around him may not have it so easy. After everything we’ve been dealing with this summer, Iceman’s “big issue” of the arc feels oddly prescient. Bobby Drake had to reconcile his accidental complicit role in keeping the Morlocks down, and he has to investigate new approaches to being a better ally to those who don’t want to or can’t live under the protection of the X-Men. I used the Morlocks to allegorically speak to the issues that the trans/ NB community face today. Considering that trans folks are facing higher rates of homelessness and murder than other members of the LGBTQIA+ community, all I needed to do was find a perfect villain to treat the Morlocks as “lesser-than.” Cue Mister Sinister, who I wrote as particularly Darwinist with a major flair for interactive theater. While Amazing Friends definitely is the most fun I’ve had working on the book, it was also full of the heaviest shit I’ve written about. I’m so grateful that my editor let me use Emma Frost for a story about the trauma of gay conversion therapy with her brother Christian, but I’m still annoyed he wouldn’t let me put her in a sickening Givenchy outfit for her reveal. Similarly, creating the Madin character required that I chat with several mental healthcare professionals and members of the NB community to respectfully portray them as a resilient and fleshed out hero. I included personal lessons that I learned from years of the therapy (the sandcastle / sea image, a Jay Edidin fave moment). My editor and I weren’t always aligned, but we definitely were on each other’s side. He understood what I was trying to do and asked questions when something flew over his head, and he even had the good instincts to stop me from going too heavy handed with the ending. My original idea for the arc’s finale was to have Bobby become permanently scarred in his fight with Sinister, where he’d have a cool ice gash running across his face or something, a la Squall from Final Fantasy 8. The goal was to show Iceman stripping himself of his ability to pass as non-mutant to save the Morlocks, but the Mutant Pride fight scene being a stand-in for the Stonewall Riots kind of already made enough of a statement. Plus, no one in editorial wanted to deal with remembering to track his scar in other books. At first I tried to balk at his point of view, but when I looked over my original notes for the series, the point was to focus on optimism and hope. Giving Bobby a permanent scar and emphasizing the notion of sacrifice was too bleak a message for a series wherein the hero carbo-loads hoagies while riding an ice scooter and mutant drag queens emcee local festivals. Of course, the crowning achievement of the series… my mutant drag queen :) I’ve witnessed a lot when it comes to the world of pop culture and myth-making, and I 100% believe that you can’t plan the success of something. I’ve seen bands forced into breaking up because labels spend six figures failing at making listeners connect with an album. I witnessed firsthand how The Walking Dead was built from relatively humble beginnings as a buzzy cable drama into a literal international phenomenon over the course of its first three seasons. Everyone hopes for the best, but you never know how something will land with audiences. When the Shade character took off, I was truly astounded. Things I posted on Instagram while half-asleep became official quotes on major news sites. Queens and cosplayers were interpreting her like Margot Robbie had unveiled a new Harley Quinn lewk. The impact was so legit and immediate that we had to jump in and give Shade a proper Marvel hero alias, to truly welcome her into the X-Men canon. Hence the name change to Darkveil. (Funny story: I tried to fight hard for Madame X as an alias, but CB didn’t want another Agent X / “X-Name” character. Three months later, Madonna announced the Madame X album. Phew!) There was a time where I felt uncertain that the folks in charge at Marvel would bring Darkveil into any stories outside of the ones I wrote. My understanding was that Hickman was like the Cylons and had A Plan-- one that didn’t include her character. I made peace with my contribution to the Marvel Universe being contained, but then someone on social media pointed out that Darkveil showed up in an issue of Marvel Voices. After breaking down and reading Hickman’s House of X, I saw that his Plan was one of endless possibilities, and that he was moving EVERY character into new and dynamic places. I have hope now that he sees the possibilities with Darkveil, and takes advantage of her and all of her many body pouches. Amazing Friends really is my favorite thing I’ve done for the Big Two. I made a lifelong friend out of artist Nate Stockman (DC, please hire us for a Plasticman book), and I got to run a victory lap with the most encouraging and supportive readers out there. It was worth every dreadful conversation, every shitty thing a person said to me online, and all of the fun nonsense that goes into being creative for a living. Being stuck at home in quarantine has given me a lot of time to reflect on the gift that my career to date has been, and I feel so grateful to be where I am today. Other people may groan when they have to talk about something they’ve moved on from, but not me. I made people happier, I got to work with my favorite characters at Marvel, and and I'll say it again: it’s a frickin’ gift to make people move from your work. So, I will engage every tweet or message asking me my thoughts about who should play Bobby Drake in the Marvel Cinematic Universe… I’ll just never have a good answer.

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seulgiology · 4 years

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hugs and kisses | na jaemin

pairings: boyfriend!jaemin x girlfriend!reader

words: 1.6k

genre: fluff

synopsis: jaemin helps his girlfriend when she comes to him stressed because of school. (lmao sorry i’m bad at these)

warnings: lowercase intended bc i wrote this on my phone, but otherwise, none :P

a/n: hiii hello it’s adnim 2 here with some jaemin fluff for ya. wrote this while eating a variety of foods and jaemin has been on my mind a lot lmao so here y’alls go. wrote this on my phone btw so like if there are any typos, sorryyy i didn’t really go over it like i should’ve.

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

there was light chatter being heard through the class you were in. you weren’t a part of the chatter however because you were too focused on your assignment.

for some reason, you couldn’t get your head fully focused today and you were getting frustrated. it seemed like the universe was against you today because suddenly a classmate of yours is sitting next to you.

you slowly look up at her but don’t say anything, just give a curt nod of your head. “hey y/n, i noticed you over here working hard. do you need help?” she kindly asks.

your eyes that was skimming the words on your laptop for the tenth time, suddenly stop. they narrow instead and your lips purse. your chest caves in and you feel your nose burning, throat constricting. you were going to cry.

“i, uh— i’m fine but thank you,” you assure her, clearing your throat and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

you keep your eyes on your laptop, refusing to meet her gaze and it stays like that until she leaves. you release a shaky breath, not knowing what has you on edge today.

maybe it’s the stress with the finals coming up next week and you’re overworking yourself. you couldn’t help it though as it was such a flaw of yours. you were up late last night going over a practice question that you just couldn’t get. it’s probably why you’re extra sensitive to your emotions today.

when the class is dismissed, you pack up your stuff and leave the classroom. your feet are suddenly moving quicker as you walk the hallways filled with students.

you’re just looking for one person. this one person is the only one who can calm you down. it was the end of the day and you know he had classes today. you weren’t sure what his last class was but you know it wasn’t in the same building as yours. his locker was in the same building and you knew if he wasn’t there, he was waiting for you in front of your building with his friends.

you go to your locker first and grab your coat, putting it on over your clothes and putting your beanie on. your gloves and scarf are placed on after that and then you're rushing to look for him.

when you go to his locker, you whine under your breath when he isn’t there. feeling your emotions building up again, you sniffle, trying to keep them at bay so you won’t burst down crying in front of everyone.

the students aren’t in a hurry but they’re not trying to stay longer at school. shuffling around them was a struggle as well because when someone would even bump into you, it felt like you would just cry then and there.

the entrance of the building couldn’t have appeared sooner. you knew he was waiting for you in the front of the building and that motivated you to push through the doors, the cold winter air slamming into you and causing a quick shiver.

you walk down the few stairs and when your feet meet the cobblestoned ground, your eyes dart around in search of your boyfriend. there you see him near a tree with his friends, laughing wholeheartedly and saying something afterward.

when your eyes tear up, you’re not sure whether it’s because you’re relieved to see him or your emotions are about to fully come to the front. it didn’t take you long to get to him and when you did, you made sure he saw you first.

your hand touches his arm and he jumps a bit before looking down at you. a grin is immediately seen on his face but it’s slowly wiped away when he scans over your face. he knew something was wrong, he always did.

his friends greeted you but you just nodded politely. jaemin didn’t say anything to you just yet and instead tangled your fingers with his, wanting to hold you closer but not wanting that to be your breaking point.

“okay guys, we'll catch up later, take care of yourselves and get home safe,” jaemin tells them with a short nod of his head. they bid him farewell too and then the two of you are walking the route to his apartment.

“princess, are you okay?” he softly asks, this time his arm wraps around your shoulder so you’re close to his side. his warmth was a stark contrast to the cold air but it made you relax a bit.

“let’s talk when we reach your place,” is what you whisper and jaemin frowns at the tone of your voice, but complies nonetheless.

usually, these days after classes, jaemin and you would go to this small cafe on campus to get some hot chocolate and maybe work on some homework there. other times, his friends would join. but if that wasn’t happening then the two of you would either go to his or your place.

he knew you guys could go to the cafe any

other day, today would just have to wait because you’re more important.

it took the two of you under fifteen minutes to reach his apartment. your feelings were pushing to the front the closer you got and when you guys reached his door inside, he let go of your hand to unlock his front door.

jaemin closes the door behind you and it’s silent as the two of you take your winter wear off, replacing shoes with slippers. “let’s go to my room,” jaemin suggests and you can only nod, letting him take your hand and guide you to his room.

you don’t even get to sit on his bed before you’re bursting into tears. the sobs shake your body and they’re so heart wrenching it hurts.

jaemin’s eyes widen when seeing you break down but he jumps into action. his arms wrap around you, rubbing your back and running his fingers through your hair soothingly. his heart breaks hearing you cry so heavily and he doesn’t know the cause of it. he wanted to make you feel better but he would just hold you until you were ready to talk.

even though you’re crying, you’re able to register your boyfriend’s arms wrapping around your upper body to the best he can. it’s as if he’s trying to protect you from the world and it makes you want to cry harder.

“i’m sorry,” you manage to say between your sobs, pulling back slightly to messily wipe at your face. “crying like this out of nowhere, i suck,” you laugh sadly.

“hey, no no, it’s okay y/n,” jaemin assures you, cupping your hot cheeks in his hands and wiping at them with his thumbs. “don’t apologize for having feelings, okay? it’s okay for you to cry and you don’t suck.”

you look into his warm, brown eyes with your own watery eyes and sniffle. you hug him again due to all the emotion you’re feeling towards him now, and he doesn’t hesitate to hug you back, squeezing you lightly.

“do you want to talk about it, princess?” jaemin softly asks. you nod your head stiffly against his chest and jaemin pulls away, leading you to his bed. the two of you sit down and face each other.

jaemin’s hands hold one of yours as your other hand is occupied with wiping at your tear-stained cheeks.

“i’m a bit overwhelmed, i think,” you mumble, confusing yourself with your choice of words. “i don’t know if it’s because of the finals coming up and the fact i’ve been pushing myself past my limits. maybe it is but i don’t know, it’s just too much at once.”

you felt an apology at the tip of your tongue for your bad explanation and for wasting his time. but before you could, jaemin is pinching your chin in between his thumb and index finger, staring intensely into your orbs.

“i know what you’re about to say,” he says and the light tone of his voice makes your bottom lip quiver. “you’re probably thinking you shouldn’t have said what you just said and that it’s silly. but y/n, it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling right now. i can’t tell you what to do but i can suggest you take a break and try to slow down. i’ll be here for you like i always am, okay? if you decide to push yourself past your limits then i’m going right past them with you.”

his words echo in your head for a solid minute as the two of you sit in silence. your lips part in awe to him because you just can’t believe he has so much patience for you. but at the same time, you can believe it. the love and adoration you feel for him can’t even be put into words so you want to show it instead.

you grab the back of his neck and bring his face a little closer. jaemin seems to get the message and tilts your head upwards, placing his lips over yours.

it’s a slow kiss but it’s enough to express your emotions. his hand moves from your face when you decide to swing your left leg over his legs, now straddling him and tangling your hands in his hair. “thank you,” you pant out, kissing him harder than before.

“i’m always here for you, princess,” he whispers, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. you keep your eyes closed and caress the hairs on the nape of his neck.

“always.”

#gif isnt mine lol #jaemin fluff #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #kpop fluff #nct dream masterlist #nct scenarios #nct imagines #jaemin hours #jaemin scenarios #jaemin imagines #nct angst #jaemin angst #um idk what other tags to put lol #soft jaemin hours #jaemin drabbles

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fmdrohan · 3 years

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hello, hi ! 👋🏽 i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎 lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

#‏‏‎ ‎* ( 유로한 ) ╱ intro.#‏‏‎ ‎* ( 유로한 ) ╱ plot call.

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toneelspeelster · 4 years

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portraying trauma, a skam and remakes comparison

disclaimer: i’ll start this by saying this meta will be critical of the way wtfock portrayed their version of a traumatic experience (the gay bashing). if you do not want to engage with criticism on this, i’d advise you not to read. this will also discuss only a few versions (skam, druck, skam nl and wtfock) in particular because i didn’t want to make it too long and because i feel these versions deal with trauma in an interesting way.

common reactions

in any case, i’d like to start with common reactions after experiencing a traumatic event, be it a sexual assault, emotional assault, physical assault etc.

1. anxiety and fear 2. re-experiencing of the trauma. 3. increased vigilance 4. avoidance 5. anger 6. guilt/shame 7. grief/depression 8. self image and view of the world is negative, trust is difficult. 9. difficulty with sexual relationships 10. substance abuse (i’d include negative coping mechanisms here too). source

now, i mention this not because i think every remake hits these but rather because i want people to see what commonly happens after traumatic events to people and how wtfock in one instance (robbe/sander) misses the mark completely while in another (zoe) it actually sort of works. and how other remakes have dealt with the subject matter.

first off: skam

to start with even’s traumatic experience and his response. i’m starting with even mostly because it’s the original series, not necessarily bc i think it’s the most elegant portrayal (bc it’s definitely not). but in essence, what it does show is the effect of a traumatic event in the long run. even’s experience at bakka, where he kissed one of his friends he had a crush on; who rejected him; even being in a manic episode; resulting in a suicide attempt and his self inforced isolation from his best friends by going to another school and ignoring their messages - it’s touched upon in his initial season but expanded in season 4. and still at least one year later, still even freezes up in fear immediately after seeing his friends. even is incredibly anxious; it’s clear he’s recalling past memories he’s been trying to avoid for forever; he feels immensely guilty (he wants to see elias, he really does, he just doesn’t know how) and even though i think even’s self image is not necessarily the result of this experience, it does have an even more negative effect on his self-image. even has difficulties liking himself, seeing worth in himself, even in season 4. after reconciling w him (however that even went we don’t know) he appears in one of their vlogs and still you can see how uncomfortable it makes him to talk about it. but, this is what it ends on: you see the strength of even reaching out to those he loves and for them being able to reach out to him too. in the end, it’s healing. it is discussed throughout the season.

then, numbers two: druck and skam nl

i’m combining these two in one entry bc i feel like these two portrayals deal with the repercussions of traumatic experiences to the life of these two very well.

first off, we have david, who came out as transgender at a previous school and was met with intense transphobic reactions; deadnaming, invasive personal questions and just generally awful treatment by people - it resulted in david feeling very unsafe, difficulties sleeping and hiding and running away in the hopes of avoiding these situations. it affects his world view of the world as unkind, and him forcing himself to be okay with being alone bc the only one he trusts is himself. he doesn’t let people too close (wanting to stay anonymous) and when matteo breaks up with sarah he runs bc matteo is getting too close. and then, it happens again. he’s outed on social media in his new school, having difficulties even doing his exams bc his teacher is being a transphobic dick and he’s scared of both him and the kids at school. he then, after staying with his godmother, hides himself away at an unsafe, abandoned pool and even staying there for a night.

then, we have liv. earlier in her life, she’s implied to have had an eating disorder - a traumatic experience in itself. and although she seems very aware of her needing to be careful not to fall into those patterns again, it unfortunately does come to the front again when faced with the fact that she’s been sexually assaulted in her sleep and it’s been filmed without consent. as an eating disorder survivor, i’d say her body is already something she might have difficulties with. to combine that with sexual assault.. it results in liv isolating herself at home, resorting to doing her white(!) laundry multiple times in one week and her stress baking cookies only for her to give them to her roommates. her mum even asks her if she’s eating well - for a mother who seems emotionally and physically distant otherwise, liv must’ve not sounded well. even when she seems a little bit better, engel still comes over to check up on liv and cook for her. engel has similar ed experiences so she knows it’s not something that’s just gone one second to the next.

these portrayals work well bc it is clear that their experiences have become a detriment to their view of the world and result in them resorting to very unhealthy coping mechanisms. they both clearly feel the loss of control, the triggering of (past) experiences; the avoidance and the isolation. liv feels immense shame, david feels immense anger and fear - they both have difficulties trusting people, even the ones they care about the most.

but, in the end?

david does let matteo subtly know where he is, bc he knows matteo will see him and find him. matteo calls him even out on it: you are not a damned vampire who needs to hide away, he says - something that david didn’t even see about himself until matteo told him. he finds support in matteo and all of his friends and his sister. he doesn’t need to be alone anymore.

and liv? she tells her friends about her troubles eventually, and they support her wholeheartedly, telling her it’s not her fault and flashing boobs while doing so. liv finds the strength to confront her attacker and blackmailing him, and eventually her boyfriend tells her she needs to go to the police to report his brother.

these are both david’s season-long storyline and liv’s multiple episode storyline (all her clips for the first week after her experience focus solely on this). it’s healing to see this happen to survivors of these experiences.

as a ender: wtfock

i think it’s important to establish first that this is first and foremost about robbe/sander’s gay bashing. robbe and sander have been dating approximately three days when they are violently and verbally assaulted and seemingly left for dead in antwerp’s streets. the next episode makes a point of robbe and sander being hurt badly with bruises and cuts and black eyes, robbe doesn’t sleep much and is irritated quickly and sander has a very weird reaction to violence in general and doesn’t want to go to the police. later, robbe is scared that sander was put off by the idea of going to the police, that he felt forced. within that same first episode, robbe tells milan the true story and zoe a little off story and they react sympathetically, zoe even offering her doctor. robbe’s mum’s psych also refers him to a therapist and he calls her.

but then the storyline, after episode 6? it ends? milan seems to weirdly reference it sometimes but it doesn’t come to any conclusion in the end. after reconciling sander and robbe have no trouble kissing in front of everyone. there’s no sense of robbe or sander having internalised a different world view after this experience. they even never discuss it ever again after that first week. robbe going to a therapist is not even shown or referenced at all, even with the opportunity being there with social media updates. there’s no real repercussions, except for loss of sleep and sander maybe sort of seeing it as a way of destroying something time and again but that’s more his world view bc of his mental illness i’d say. it’s a storyline for one episode, that’s it. and with how irresponsibly they portrayed it by not immediately showing them being alright or together or taken care off but waiting hours for an update, it triggered a hella lot of audience members instead. as a bisexual woman myself, i felt scared watching that.

zoe’s storyline of having to testify even got more of an appropriate portrayal as she’s scared to testify and also feels pushed by the people who love her the most (milan and senne). her breaking up w senne feels more an actual genuine decision bc of messed up feelings about the whole situation (senne being quite... aggressive with how he approaches her about it sometimes.. it felt like he wanted it for himself mostly, not for her). her not being able to sleep and feeling exhausted, months after the actual traumatic experience happened. it has an effect on her and how she responds and how she makes decisions.

conclusion

experiences like these have repercussions. but apparently in belgium only sexual assault results in trauma. gay bashing doesn’t. it had no true purpose except to educate straight people about the plight of lgbt people being attacked violently. but, as people far more eloquent than i have said, why? homophobes will not watch this series and suddenly turn around. and the world is damned if people just don’t realise that beating up people is bad and shouldn’t happen.

the true purpose of skam is to teach people of all kinds, and to show people of a certain minority, community or with same/different life experiences that there is hope, and a lot more to them than just what they have experienced. now even the good portrayals could have all benefitted from telling the audience that it’s good and okay to go to therapy about this... but at least they didn’t shy away from a storyline that shows how deep this runs for people. they devoted time to it.

and that’s all wtfock really needed to do if wanting to make a point by including this. they didn’t. it’s sensational fodder at best. and i think that the characters as well as the audience?

they deserved better than that.

#skam #wtfock #druck #skam nl #skam meta #wtfock meta #druck meta #skam nl meta #mine

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akaiimee · 4 years

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translation of the YT video “Adèle HAENEL, Noémie MERLANT, Céline SCIAMMA : « Un portrait de femmes flamboyant »”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jie2x8bA9-g&lc=z22ww1aadozeifo3eacdp43a2xkn0h2wg34uemcfnjtw03c010c.1579617877414170

journalist (j) : we are glad to meet you today.... "portrait of a lady in fire", Adèle Haenel, Noémie Merlant and Céline Sciamma for this movie which had the price of the script at the Cannes festival, so we meet today at the festival of Angoulême. Beautiful adventure for a film, when we do a movie we dream of all of this, don't we ?

Céline (C) : in any case, we mostly dream that it meets its public and all the things that bring it to the public is good to take so it gives us momentum and confidence.

j : we think about public when we do a movie like this, yes, we think "how can we surprise them, how can we question them ?"..

C : of course, me, I'm absolutely obsessed by this, thinking about the public like an actif subject of the movie, how he will dwell the movie itself, mostly when we do a love story : I want people to also think to their story...

j : to recognize themselves

C : yes

j : even if the story happen in the 18th century

C : the story takes place absolutely in the 18th century.. It is a perspective effect that allows you to let go a little

j : ok.. we will now watch the trailer and then Adèle will make the pitch

Adèle (A) : 😁

--> trailer

j : Adèle Haenel

A : so it is me who does the pitch

j : yes but *mimes this movement at 1:46 *

A : yes I'll do it shortly. It is the story of Marianne who is a painter, who comes on a island to do the portray of a young woman Héloïse who will be married. It is their story, the story of this meeting when the portray is done and the meeting between these two women that takes place over a very short time

Noémie (N) : she has to paint her in secret !

A : yes, thank you Noémie .... it's a lot of suspens, it is a thriller

j : yes it's a thriller ! So now everyone who is listening to us know it's a thriller, with suspens

C : All love stories are thrillers

A : Yes it's true

j : And effectively btw, the sensation is present, this feeling of love and you have great pleasure in making us wait

C : a slow burning film, effectively, it is the slow chronic, step by step, of a rising desire. But I think that it's good frustrations and this is why we go to the cinema too, it's good to wait, to hope.

j : yes yes and we hope.. Noémie, and that's a love story anyway, a beautiful love story! Talk about your character, her relations she can nourish trough... at the bottom, there is a background : it's painting

N : Yes, this is a love story and this is also a story of contributors, of women, of artist, and how Marianne

will situate herself as a painter, how she will find her painting the truth the sincerity and it's thanks to this encounter with Héloïse that she can ask herself the right questions and break out of a framework of rules, conventions and let her go.

j : yes there is a form of a liberation trough art, through letting go

A : yep I'll continue what Noémie said, when she said : "asking the right questions", that is, all the questions that belongs to us and this is the beginning of an artist's work, it is understanding that we had made hers questions that were not ours, or the issues that were not ours or even issues that oppress us, and the romantic encounter allows to get out of these stereotypical questions which are in fact a very narrow path, and to approach the infinite field of art possibilities.

j : yes bc on the bottom there is creation, the mystery of creation and love is also a form of creation.

C : yes there is the creation in the love dialogue, there is a creative dialogue but that is also an intellectual dialogue and the movie takes part in telling that, telling how falling in love is not only a principe of very beautiful persons who meet in an elevator and immediately fall in love, it's admiration, it's debate, it's criticism, it's analysis, it's how we think together and how we are affected by thinking together and the movie tells about that.

j : though the painter and her model, there is this relation that is very rich and strong

A : It's effectively what we are talking about, when Céline talks about exchange, it can seem very light but it's very deep, that is, how in the story of art, very often there were one brain that tough for everybody and finally this way it's a seed of oppression. We can find it everywhere whereas collaboration, it's like this that we create masterpiece I think, and the movie is more than that, we can invente societies like this, that is, this seed is present in art but also present in politic and... that's it. sorry I got carried away

(everybody is laughing)

j : no no it's true , she is right

(A : yes of course)

j : it's not the painter and her model, it's both of them are necessary to each other and it's this fusion that we were talking about

C : of course.. the term of muse is associated to a form of passivity, it's women who would be fetishized, passives and inspirational only by the pure grace of there presence and it masks the reality, the cooperators, the brains in the room, and often, women were erased of art history while they were painters, musicians, novelists etc. and even the statue of muse has been reduced to this idea of purely inspiring and quiet while they contributed to the oeuvre.

j : yes, and there is also this liberation because at the beginning, art is supposed to imprison because it's about making a portray of weeding that she didn't choose, she doesn't want, and it's art that will allow her to free herself

A : In fact, the movie is obviously political, because it is in a form of suspension, as it happens, the creation of the portrait is an opportunity for artistic collaboration, a relationship with oneself that would be very close to the surface, very excited, very forward-looking. However, it is not proposed as a long-term solution because the long-term solution is still political, there the film says "yes, indeed, we are leaving a system in which we put the young woman in the convent, we created her to be a beautiful object, we take her out while we paint her, this beautiful object, and then we remarry her and she is again an object, and not a person in itself." And this, this asks a political though on it, not just artistic.

j : so it's also a politic movie

C : Adèle says it very well but also in this dimension there, they collaborate on what will separate them : it is also a tension of romantic tragedy which collaborates from the fictional of the cinema in general and romanticism, that is, collaborate on what will separate you, this is a amorous tension which, I think, can be moving.

j : yeah, I would like you to say something about the picture, the cinematographic picture looks like a moving painting

C : yes the movie is kind of obsessed with the idea of beauty, btw when we say that the movie evokes the painting, the plans are like tables, it's because the cinema has a link with beauty as painting has : the cinema, like painting, it's a story of frame, a story of characters, of color, of light, and it's true that the movie wanted to talk about beauty, being beautiful, and also being new, and I think that the novelty has a link with beauty too.

j : yes.. Noémie you have been happy of course to be in this movie, to see all of that

A : the work with Noémie was very interesting because it's true that... I mean.. Noémie has this fire inside her, that is really particular, playing with her... turning to Noémie Idk how you have lived this... it was very exciting

j : yes Noémie you felt that too, is it true ?

N : huuummm

A : we approached the scenes a bit like somewhat sporty fights almost

j : laugh it was a sporty fight

N : it was a sporty fight.. what was interesting was that we invented our relationship with Adèle as actresses and at the same time our relationship between Héloïse and Marianne we invented it as we filmed, and what is funny is that Adèle she dare to suggest, send a ball and you never know how she will send it, how to receive it, and all these look games... what will she do ? She is fascinating. when we play with Adèle, there is a fascination that takes place and I tried to use it the most for Marianne looking Héloïse, and what also fed me a lot in the film is that the play of gaze was not only between Adèle and me, it was also with Céline : there was really a real triangle .. me, I looked a lot at Céline like she look at us, and I tried to get inspired by her gaze particularly intense and also very kind.

j : thank you

A : thank you a lot

j : thank you for sending balls, she is a ball sender

N : yeah yes!

j : thank you Adèle, thank you Céline, thanks to all of you! Thank you Noémie ..and go watch "portrait of a lady in fire"

Voilà ! If you don't understand something or want a translation of another video (related to this movie or Adèle Haenel) tell me !

#adele haenel #portrait of a lady on fire #noemie merlant #céline sciamma #portrait de la jeune fille en feu

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