#building a home ritual life is where im at

[pomegranateandhoney]

Just wanted to share a little resource today: Shabbat cards from Recustom, a platform with  tools and resources to help shape rituals that work for each of us. I like this very simple set of Shabbat cards, with the blessings in Hebrew, English, and transliterated.

Sometimes it can be really difficult, trying to figure out what we think makes our life Jewish -- what's important to us, what rituals are prayers feel necessary to us, which mitzvot feel most important to keep. It's a deeply personal journey.

For me, Shabbat feels immensely important and is the cornerstone of what having a Jewish home means to me. Keeping Shabbat started very small -- just remembering to light two tealights, as on time as possible, every Friday with my partner. Now we've added wine/juice, and rarely I remember to have bread. It's a work in progress. Little tools like these cards, which are easy to read and have on hand, can help make keeping this ritual possible.

I wish I were a more adept woman that was used to managing a million things, but I'm not -- I am forgetful, I can be a little lazy after a long work day, and I struggle with the balance between my spiritual and modern lives. And that's okay.

#judaism #jumblr #resources #ritual #shabbos #shabbat #building a home ritual life is where im at #thinking about what i want my kids to experience helps me narrow in on what is important to me

[valley-of-headcanons]

ask you anything more like tell me ANYHTING YOU WANT ABOUT ALEX!!! romanced him the first time i played and he is the only man to exist (alongside elliott)

general alex headcanons

big headed men with an even bigger heart deserve some headcanons too <3

warnings: mentions of abusive fathers (verbal), physical and emotional self-neglect, mention of mother's death. poor boy :(

requested by: anon, thank you so much for the request! im sorry this took so long, my brain is genuinely fried, a lot is going on. it's a doozy. i hope you enjoy the request though, and i hope that it's worth the wait!! love alex, he deserves so much more hype fr <3

• Alex's music taste is pretty diverse, there are two sides to it. Sometimes he wants an upbeat vibe, in which he listens to Bleachers, Wallows, Cavetown, Bruno Mars, and Dayglow. Summer, driving down empty roads at night kinda vibes. Enjoying life. The other side is The Neighborhood, Glass Animals, and Ricky Montgomery. He hides it that side of his music taste and denies listening to 'depressing' music. Music is the only way he expresses this sort of stuff, but it's only in private.

• His love language is giving physical touch and receiving quality time with a touch of words of affirmation. The way he shows his affection is with simple touches, like small hands squeezes and back rubs. Days when you're exhausted after a long day, expect to be pampered by simple touches, because Alex is happy to provide. The only thing he needs is time with you, he just wants to have fun experiences with you that he can look back on. That sprinkled with soft affirmations that he's doing well, you've got him wrapped around your finger.

• He is not very picky at all when it comes to gifts, he has things he favors over others, but there is a high chance he will love what you give him. He also really cherishes things, he hates to admit it but he is a sentimental person. He commissioned Robin to build him a wooden box to put all of the gifts you've given him in it, he keeps it hidden under his bed but it's pulled out very often. He keeps certain mementos of you out around his room though, and always keeps at least one thing in this pocket.

• Gridball has been one of his interests since he was a kid. Watching it while sitting in his mother's lap as a child always helped him calm down. Although, his father did taint his image of the sport. He always said things like "Why can't you be like that?" It then began to dwell on his mind a lot, he could be like that if he really wanted to. He was hyperfocused on it, causing him to neglect things. School, his health, his relationships with his friends. He's beginning to get better about it, though. His mental and physical well-being is important, too, and he's beginning to let that set in.

• One of his weekly rituals is every Sunday, he swings by Pierre's and buys Evelyn a bouquet of flowers. He really wants to show her that he appreciates her, since he didn't get a chance to show that to his mother before her passing. He'll buy the bouquet and take one flower out of it, sitting it by her grave on the way back home. He tries not to dwell on it, so he makes his visits brief, but he still wants to show his love for both of the women in his life. If you like flowers, regardless of you gender, he'll incorporate you into that routine. You'll get your own bouquet of flowers every Sunday as well.

• While in a game, he always gets really excited if some of his friends or family come to watch him. Between plays, you'll often see him looking out to the crowd, hoping to see the people that are the most important to him. If he has his phone, he'll often text asking where they are, and then he'll finally find them. Whoever comes out to support him will get the biggest hug whenever he sees them next. He loves supporting his friends, and when they support him, it means a lot to him.

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv headcanons #stardew valley headcanons #sdv alex #sdv alex headcanons #stardew valley alex #stardew valley alex headcanons #stardew alex #stardew alex headcanons

[hellraisered]

hi here 2 ask for ash williams being really gay w/ his bf post army of darkness. just soft shit. him being like "damn i rlly take u for granted. love u or something" ya idk im just yearning

ash williams / reader || fluff 001

“Really gave this guy what for at work today,” Ash said, tossing his car keys on the table. 

"Welcome home," you replied from the couch, glancing up at him over your magazine.

He's wrestling the shirt off of his body, not even taking the time to unfasten any buttons. He's eager to peel the uniform off of his skin after a long day of stocking and taking more smoke breaks than he should. The shirt is crumpled between his fingers, and without looking, he lobs the ball of fabric in the general direction of the hamper. Only by sheer chance does he make his goal, the sleeve hanging partially out of the wire basket.

In a few ways, he was a predictable man, and you sort of liked that about him. It was nice for someone so present in your life to have some form of consistency. He walks over to the kitchen, and you can hear the opening of the fridge and the faint clinking of bottles as he acquired his after-work beer, one of his many daily rituals. 

"Well, aren't you gonna ask me what happened?" He shouts, turning to look over his shoulder while rummaging through food, prompted by your lack of proper acknowledgement. You snort, knowing that he was going to tell you regardless of your response. 

"Do tell," you say, perhaps a bit sarcastically, tilting your head to the side. It's evident by the quiet huff that follows, and the shutting of the fridge, along with no bottle in his hand, that he didn't find what he was looking for. Not all is lost, though, and you hear the sound of a belt being unbuckled and the rustling of denim hitting the floor. Regardless of the letdown, he struts back into the living room in nothing but his boxers with the confidence of a man about to recreate a scenario with an unnecessary amount of enthusiasm. You place your magazine on your chest, propping yourself from your horizontal position, and allow him your attention. 

Ash's hands settle on his hips, and from this angle, you could see the slight glint of his top scars catching a sliver of light. 

"So there I was," he starts, splaying his hands toward you, "Replenishing the plums in isle seven - and I hate isle seven. You know, the one I told you about before? With the leaky cooling vent, and a perfect view of the manager's office so you can't relax on the job?" 

He mimes taking a hit off of a blunt to indicate what exact kind of relaxation he was thinking of. You stifle a laugh and furrow your eyebrows, pointing at him a pseudo-judgemental look.

"Come on," he says, looking at you incredulously. "Like you've never had fun on the clock before. Anyway, like I was saying - there I was, putting together a really fantastic fruit pyramid, and I mean really fantastic, when Mister 'I-want-a-fruit-at-the-very-bottom-of-the-pyramid' comes over and guess what?"

"He took the fruit at the very bottom of the p-"

"He took the fruit at the very bottom of the god damn pyramid. And they all came down. It was like a healthy avalanche." 

Ash looks off into the distance for a moment, as if remembering the event down to the finest detail. There's an empty look in his eyes.

"And you know, this clown just started to walk away back to his shopping cart. I couldn't believe it. So you know what I did?" 

He points an index towards you, quiet for a moment. Presumably to build up suspense.

"I put a hand on that guy's shoulder, and said 'Where are you going, buster? Pick. These. Up.'"

Ash's arm is extended, and his hand is clasped around the shoulder of this imaginary man. You get the feeling that he's retelling this in a slightly more heroic lens, but he seems satisfied with himself. He didn't say anything else, though, so you spoke up.

"Well? What did he say?"

"He, uh, he said 'No'. And then he went and told my supervisor that I touched him. But let me tell you, I bet he was real intimidated for a second there. Real intimidated." 

"I bet he was. Did you manage to rebuild your fruit pyramid?" You're not going to be the one to shatter his ego. Not that you think that was even possible, anyhow. 

"Oh, nah. I just went to go take a shit and made it someone else's problem." 

"What would S-Mart do without you?" 

"That's what I'm saying. Hey - did you know that we're out of beer?" He says, pointing a finger in the direction of the fridge. 

"No we're not," You reply, pointing at the sweating six pack sitting on the coffee table. You'd made sure to pull it out before he got home, and were just waiting for him to notice it at this point. "Got some on the way home earlier today." 

Ash stares at the six-pack that had been sitting right below his nose, and then looks at you with a baffling amount of appreciation in his eyes - the sort of fondness a rescue dog had for its owner. 

He approaches you on the couch, and now he’s closer you realize that he is ridiculously sweaty. Before you get a chance to protest, he's pulled your back toward his front on the couch, and places a kiss on the top of your scalp. 

"God, I take you for granted." 

He threads an arm underneath your armpit and holds you closer. He places another kiss on your cheek. You turn to look at him over your shoulder, and he takes the opportunity to kiss you squarely on the mouth. 

"Have I ever told you I loved you?" 

"Yeah, a couple times, I think." You tease, stroking the side of his jaw with the back of your hand. "But you know how you can really show me you love me?" You continue, voice tinged with the smallest hint of promise. 

"How?" Ash asks, thinking he knew where this was going.

You kiss him on the cheek. "You can pick your jeans up off of the kitchen floor."

#ash williams x reader #evil dead x reader #ash williams #williameaston

[intheoldtherebefore]

hello i saw your reblog so i’m here to bother you with questions!! do you have any thoughts on district 9/what life was like there during the original trilogy?

YES I DO!!!! im gonna break this down into sections because it's gonna be a LONG post (sorry in advance)

daily life:

district nine is the third poorest district of panem, with each person taking out approximately 4-5 tesserae each year. this means that their living conditions aren't necessarily the best.

most houses tend to be situated close to where jobs are done, with children choosing a trade to work in and eventually moving/building a house to where that trade is located. the main trades are farming, grain transport and mill work. there are other trades, though, inherited from parent to child such as bread making and alcohol production. the houses are very hut-like and are predominately made out of wood, which is quite inconvenient considering that the extreme heat causes fires quite regularly but wood is the cheapest material they can afford.

the food in the poorer part of district nine mainly consists of grain ration (tesserae) and things that are grown/scavenged from the land like wild onions, chives and such and things they trade with peacekeepers/people who live in town which is technically illegal but everyone turns a blind eye to it. though, starving is quite common among the poorer people of district nine. the richer upper-class tends to live in the main (and only) town, where the reaping happens. their diet consists of more expensive things like honey, some forms of meat and bought vegetables/fruits.

hunger games:

i personally headcanon district nine to have four victors (one deceased by the time of the 3rd quarter quell), here are their names:

- anona ryan who won the 20th games (deceased before quarter quell)

- angus flaxon who won the 39th games

- ceres miller who won the 46th games

- thérèse "thea" vaughn who won the 68th games

district nine didn't do the best in the hunger games, but not nearly as bad as some other districts such as twelve, six and eight. children in district nine start their profession at the age of thirteen, but have school trips and lessons to teach them how to farm grain before that.

they excel at scythe and sickle work and occasionally use pitchforks, which could be useful in the hunger games. they also know a vast range of knowledge about the grain they farm, and about food in general which could also come to use. they tend to be physically lean and can carry quite alot due to their profession, but tend to be on the smaller side due to their district being the third poorest.

culture:

district nine is a very musical district, which values bars and taverns and places like the hob for people to perform in. there will always be a singer and multiple dancers on the stage who also know gymnastics. it's more performance-based than say the covey in district twelve. those sorts of things boost morale among citizens of district nine, since their jobs are so rigorous. the love of music tends to come from the mockingjays, which exist in district nine as well as eleven and twelve.

there are also many festivals celebrated in district nine, such as harvest festival and new year. those are mainly celebrated by wearing the best clothes they own, having a day off of school and going to a performance where they honor the harvest.

weddings are also very important, with newlyweds weaving wheat into eachothers hair to signify their bond. there are lots of other rituals like this (similar to the setting the bread on fire in d12) that district nine citizens perform during other holidays such as birthdays or summer festival.

district nine's people tend to wear practical, but subtly colorful clothing during the day when at work, but when they are at home or if they perform they wear colorful skirts/clothing. they tend to make most of their clothing themselves, usually using the crochet technique.

sorry for the long rant, im definitely sure i missed something so i may add on to it later <3

#THANK YOU SM FOR THE ASK #the hunger games #district nine thg

[flashnthunder]

Tag game (Christmas edition)!

It's Festivus for the rest of us so grab your Chanukah bush, your mistletoe, your pagan ritual or whatever brings you joy and come gather round the fire and celebrate your pocket friends.

@deputy-buck tagged me in this :)) !

Favourite nickname you've ever been given?

i have never gone by my full name but technically izzy is my nickname, i've gotten iz or izzers by friends before and izzy-maye is my family nickname which i like

Where are you located?

the US, specifically ohio so very midwest

What season is it where you are now?

it is winter and officially Cold, it has not felt like winter for the past month but now i am freezing and already crying thinking about driving in ice

Favorite tradition this time of year?

there's a zoo that puts on this big light show every year and i usually go with friends which has become a little tradition, but tbh there's not a lot i can think of other than that

Favourite holiday food?

probably fudge?? idk if that counts as holiday food but i only eat it in the winter

Mulled wine, eggnog or hot apple cider?

apple cider for the win i am not a big any type of wine fan and eggnog is only kinda not awful if i don't think about what i'm drinking

Turkey, ham or nut roast (Or Tofurkey?)?

ham! i feel like turkey is a very november food and not my favorite

Would you rather spend the december holidays in: a cabin in the woods surrounded by snow, or a house on the beach with sun and sand?

right now im gonna say cabin because that sounds nice and peaceful but check-in with me in a month and i will have switched up once i am sufficiently sun-deprived and looking like a sad vampire with scurvy

are you pro-snow or anti-snow?

pro-snow in the hypothetical sense of enjoying it when i don't need to do anything, and anti-snow when i'm slogging to class in the slush at 9am which is the reality of january

have you ever built a snowman?

YES i love building snowmen i don't care if i'm getting freezing and wet and gross outside it's gotta happen it is just way to funny to not leave them everywhere possible

Skiing or snowboarding?

i have never really done either, i like ice skating though in terms of a winter sport :) i will fall on my ass

Do you decorate for the holidays?

i try to a little!! i like putting stuff outside, have some lights and things like that

Favourite holiday movie?

nostalgia wise stuff like charlie brown, that claymation rudolph movie, the muppets, it's a wonderful life but around the holidays i like to religiously rewatch the original star trek show so that is like My Holiday Movie

Favourite holiday fanfic?

people should rec me some because i can't think of anything off the top of my head??? i might be forgetting one i'm sure i have read them before

If you were to star in a hallmark movie, who would be your love interest?

confession time i've never really watched hallmark movies but going off the memes maybe i am the small hometown man waiting on a stressed businesswoman from new york to come home for christmas and then we can get a dog or something while the credits start

if yall would like to- tagging: @ewipandora @blood-mocha-latte @lewis-winters @good-night-space-kid @heystovepipeboys @gorgeousundertow @1waveshortofashipwreck + anyone who wants to do it :)

#personal #tag games

[wayward-aeon]

Hey hello!! Im pretty sure Ive seen you around via divine-elixer's post notes, and Ive popped in and out of your blog for the past few months, and Ive been super curious about how you practice "pop culture paganism" bc Ive kinda wanted to get into sth similiar?

I have lots of fun religious trauma from childhood into adulthood and so i was like, fuck it, we ball, im making a new religion -- but im unsure where to start, but I want to incorporate my kintypes into it (aka, Ganyu having a Morax/Exuvia statuette/shrine).

Im also lumine, so like, *waves from the other side of the reality barrier* same hat meme

Anyway, you dont gotta answer if you dont feel comfy, but I'd just like some vague sense of how you go about your practices to see if any of that appeals to what Id want to create or partake in if that makes sense.

♡♡♡ Have a good one!!! ♡♡♡

- @laputian-lilies (kin blog is @twin-wishing-stars )

hi!! i'm always happy to get messages from fellow gen/shin folk!!!

before anything else, sorry for the delayed response! also, this might get long it got really fucking long, so i'm putting it under a cut.

pop culture paganism is great precisely because it can really be anything you want or need it to be. this makes it really great for those who struggle with religious trauma, or have other aspects of life that interfere with more "mainstream" religious practice (mental illness, disability, simple lack of spare time, etc) because if there's anything you don't want to or can't include, just toss it. you're perfectly welcome to compile all the theoretically enjoyable and comforting things about religion and leave the rest on the curb.

ultimately, your practice will be entirely yours. there's no wrong or right way to do it, as long as it works for you.

for me, as fictionkind, a big part of what makes PCP so appealing is being able to feel more connected to the other worlds i've been, lives i've led, and the people i've met along the way. like, a "no need to be homesick if some of home is still with me" kind of thing.

talking specifically in the context of gen/shin, although i definitely wouldn't consider myself a devotee of the archons, some of them were very dear to me. giving them a sort of platonic reverence, more akin to friends sharing drinks around a bar than a worshipper offering libations, helps me feel connected to them. i do also still acknowledge the power they have, so i might invite them to share it with me in times of need.

as an example, one thing i did as an experiment a while back was draft a couple modified versions of the lesser ritual of the pentagram. these were made in tribute to barb/atos and mor/ax, and in place of the angels or divine names, they called upon the Four Winds and the yaksha, respectively. i haven't used either of them in practice, mostly because frankly i don't have much of a practice to speak of these days (thanks, shitty mental health), but i have complete confidence in their effectiveness just by virtue of my trust in the beings to whom they're dedicated.

this is the part where i interrupt myself to say that i recommend anyone interested in PCP reads a bit about chaos magic. chaos magic is all about the power of belief, and there's a heavy emphasis on individuality and carving one's own path, so their resources and anecdotes can be very helpful to us pop culture practitioners building our own systems from scratch.

anyway, i also like incorporating aspects of technopaganism into my personal practice. a big part of this is virtual shrines and temples! i've been playing a lot of minecraft recently, and creative games like this are perfect for building little temples or tributes to any entity you may acknowledge. there's no need to worry about not having enough space or not being able to afford materials, and they never need to be cleaned. i also adore the sort of shrines you might find on folks' personal webpages, and i'd like to make one for myself when i get around to making my neocities page.

this is something we as gen/shin fictionkind have a foot ahead in, because between our personal teapots and the many religiously significant areas in the game itself, we always have a lot of ways to immerse ourselves and connect directly to the object(s) of our devotion. i don't want to call him out, because he doesn't consider himself religious, but a fellow sourcemate regularly offers incense to the temple of pervases, which i think is a perfect example of this. for me personally, i like to sit in the hands of the barb/atos statue in mond/stadt when i'm feeling down, or need to ground myself, or i just want to feel close.

i would eventually like to incorporate more personally significant things into my physical space, but that means spending money, and i'm forever broke, lmao

in terms of more "traditional" worship, pop culture gods are no different from any other god. you can pray to them, give them offerings, ask them for aid, perform ritual and divination in their name, anything that feels right for you!

other than all that, i guess the biggest thing for me is just acknowledging that, even if i may be far from home physically, i will always have a spiritual connection to the places and people that matter to me. i still see them in my dreams, i still hear them in whispers on the wind. and i know they can hear me, too.

i think that's all i have to say. forgive me if its disjointed or not very coherent at times, i'm very scatterbrained these days. thank you for the ask, and i wish you luck on your journey!

#i feel like i rambled on way too much lmfao #i hope this is still helpful...?

[the-bees-patella]

AAAAAA i would like to know about all of these, but i’ll ask…

hhhh how do i choose

ok ok im closing my eyes and pointing—

untitled goose war game

(how do u feel about multiple asks? asking for a friend 👉👈)

(from this WIP post).

I'm sorry this is so horrifically long, but you ended up asking about one of my longest and long-standing projects! And please feel free to send as many asks as you like!

I don't even remember what I saw that reminded me of the concept of a Soulmate Goose (AO3 tag: "Alternate Universe - The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement"), wherein the premise is: one day, you wake up with a goose sitting on you and it leads you in some way or another to your soulmate, shenanigans ensue (it's often paired with the tag "Goose-typical violence"), and then you say oh and kiss and/or complete whatever other romantic rituals the author deems necessary, the goose disappears, and presumably, you continue to kiss and hold hands for eternity or whatever.

At around the same time, a friend informed me that Cody calls Anakin almost exclusively by his first name in the books and comics and the sheer disrespect necessary for that to happen absolutely killed me. I did not and will not be doing a fact-check because I believe we need whatever droplets of joy we can wring from this wretched washcloth of a timeline.

Looking at the dates, I'd just published my first Clone Wars fic and discovered two things in the process: 1) I needed to write more clone relationships immediately; 2) Cody's a right bastard.

Naturally, I decided it would be hilarious for Cody to get his goose and for it to run directly for Rex…only to be intercepted by one Anakin Skywalker. Anakin is, of course, enthralled with the idea of true love and building a home and a sense of belonging.

Cody would rather put own his eyes out with a spork. Hijinks ensue.

I started writing from Cody's perspective and got pretty well into it before I realized that in order for this rom-com scenario to work he'd have to: 1) realize that Rex likes him very much, 2) realize that, he, too likes Rex as a human person. At this point in the story they'd been fucking for months. Cody has been extremely chill and very relaxed about Rex in the CC groupchat. There was a whole thing with a grenade and a compass.

So I had to start over with someone who both had at least 50% of this mission-critical information, or at least the ability to stop playing 5D asshole chess with himself to figure it out, and also didn't make me want to do a little recreational enucleation.

Sorry, Rex.

A couple other fun facts:

The goose is a manifestation of the Living Force and therefore cannot die. Cody discovers this and starts sending GT-0101 on air reconnaissance missions.

The goose will not be paid in kisses or revelations. The goose demands blood. The goose will only accept human sacrifice; that is, total emotional honesty and nothing less.

(Does Cody just end up dying with the goose still next to him? Who can say.)

What this means is that you could fuck in front of the goose all the livelong day and it would remain, with its beady eyes and horrible beak teeth.

Cody is the first clone to get a goose. Make of that what you will.

Snippet:

“All right, General Kenobi?” “What? Oh, yes. If anyone is up to the task of—er—wooing Cody, it’s Anakin, I suppose.” They look over to where Cody and Skywalker are engaged in a ferocious tug-of-war over the goose. Skywalker seems to have clasped Cody’s hands over his death grip on the bird, and Rex can practically smell the yearning as his general makes aggressively optimistic eye contact. Cody doesn’t break his glare because he’s always been braver than Rex. “Skywalker,” he says. “Don’t make me take your other hand.” Rex turns back to General Kenobi. “You want to put credits on that, sir?” “The Force works in mysterious ways,” Kenobi says, much too cheerful, and gives Rex a side hug, something he has never done before in his life. Everyone is being extremely normal about this.

#untitled goose war game #this is cody's villain origin story #codex #tcw fic #cloneshipping #wip game #on writing #i have a words #answered

[filamints]

10 thru 30 of tommy?

Jesus christ NUMBERS. this is way too long THANK YOU FOR THE ENRICHMENT THO. im sorry i care too much about a joke character oTL

10) Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? Oh buddy. neuroses, he has em, and does acknowledge them. He's autistic for the obvious one, it has the most clear impact on his life and is the one that has a formal diagnosis. But he does also have (pretty well managed, mostly) anxiety. His thing with rules and safety protocol goes hand in hand with it, he has gotten to the point where he can talk himself into calming down about impending disasters by just recalling how to deal with anything that could go wrong. But the 'I'm scared' default response is real, especially in the fucking apocalypse. He's a guy for which routine is really important.

11) Intellectual pursuits? Well, he made a fucking immortal dog, i think that was a pretty big one. Biology and biochem/bioengineering seem to be things hes very into, but sadly im not smart enough in these spaces to pinpoint much down.

12) Favorite book genre? Unironically nonfiction. Very dense instructional documents and peer reviewing papers. As for fiction? Sci-fi, although thats usually more for movies.

13) Sexual Orientation? Ace & gay.

14) Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) Nah i think he doesn't have any physical weirdness, its all in his head LOL None of his food issues are allergies either, its all just textural disgust.

15 & 16) I'll be honest, idk about long term goals for him, i feel like this is more of a story based prompt idk. Hm.

17) Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress? He's got a very. Hm. interesting sense of fashion. This is a guy who unironically likes wearing a propeller hat. I think he's got a few other stupid hats as well, a golf visor (sorry i think he would get a kick out of the Disco Elysium froggy visor), some baseball caps with nerd shit on em. Shirts are Hawaiian shirts in loud and fun prints, sometimes unbuttoned over a graphic tee if hes feelin real casual. Chinos or golf shorts for bottoms. For jewelry, hes got a nice watch with date dials n all in it and an ace ring thats also a spinner ring for the fidget. Equally loud and fun socks with slip on canvas shoes. Does NOT like to be barefoot, wears aquashoes to swim and slippers or socks around the house. I hope you are getting the vibe of 'Had to Do it to Em' guy if he could could reclaim faggot.

18) Favorite beverage? It literally is Sunkist, but NOT the orange, its the strawberry. He also likes fruity mixed drinks, particularly the blended icy ones, usually tequila based. (Besides this, he does say strawberry coolattas are his favorite)

19) What do they think about before falling asleep at night? Tomorrows activities/going over plans. For the good, its thinking about Sunkist and what's for dinner, etc. For the bad, its ruminating on disaster outcomes and going over safety plans in his head, like rotely going thru fire escape paths in whatever place he's going to next.

20) Answered here: https://www.tumblr.com/filamints/715793409603993600/gordon-1-10-14-tommy-20-48-benrey-36

21) Turn-ons? Turn-offs? Sigh. Preemptive sorrys. He likes mean people and is a brat tamer and pet owner by nature, just look at his choice in boyfriends (in this case Benrey and Gordon). The intersection of asexuality and kink may look like a weird space from the outside but thats his home. Does Not like to be touched as a general rule. He's here for the enjoyment of his partners. This is all I can elaborate on here. Sorry.

22) Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? Lots of doodles if allowed. He's not a good artist by any stretch but drawing out simple patterns/building mandala-y shapes is just fun mindless activity

23) How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life? Its an organized chaos type. Everything has a home but in a way that makes no sense to outsiders. His decorating is colorful and cluttered in a knicknack way, but everything feels right where it belongs and is on display nicely.

24) Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all? Oh yeah, the whole bio-engineering thing. He also just likes to learn and read for the sake of it too.

25) How do they see themselves 5 years from today? Gettin crazy with it in his 40s baybieeeee.

26) Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout? Really I think he was perfectly content in his life pre-ResCas. So now I think it's like... find a new job in a lab.

27 & 28: Answered here: https://www.tumblr.com/filamints/715720444483862528/tommy-27-28-35?source=share

29) Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?) Outside disasters are handled with instinctual adrenaline fueled instinct mixed with memorized disaster protocol. 'Body moving on autopilot' behavior. Luckily he has very good instincts and a LOT of safety measures memorized.

30) Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies) Oh no, hes very much a quietly shuts down into nonverbal mode type. Stressors are dealt with by himself. Physical repetitive stims as distraction is about all for his mental disaster plans. When he doesnt have access to anything else in canon, that becomes clicking through empty cartridges and generally messing with his gun. Even if other people are having their own disasters, he is just not a verbally comforting person. When Gordon begs him to talk in canon when they first reunite post betrayal, Tommy doesnt really have anything to say. Its simply not how he works.

[psychosodomy]

its been a month and its >11,000 people. ive dreamt of the dome of the rock and i feel insane

and i feel so nauseous thinking about how the us and israel and their accomplices seem to play this battle as a numbers game. everytime the death toll goes up i wonder what it will take for people to move en masse

like theyre trying to destroy as many lives as possible before something, that im not even sure the international community is capable of carrying out immediately, will happen. 'how many hospitals, buildings, people, horses, camps, can we annihilate before something Happens?' game. thats not the full picture though i know. they want to totally crush the power of the resistance in palestine and make israel a successful outpost for the west in the middle east, is the reality. and i have faith in the palestinian movement, in the movement of other occupied people. but its hard to have faith in the movement where the imperial core is concerned.

it feels like 2020 again. whats horrifying here is that this hasnt fundamentally changed people's ideas about morality, ethics, authority, and resistance. and im not just talking about liberals who never had ideas about those things, im talking about people who sustain lives and careers thru organizing and anti-captialist/imperalist politics. america's so called left. we should be ashamed, horrified, nauseous, enraged when we pay taxes, see a police officer, meet people in the armed forces, people who 'condemn hamas' and stake it all on electoral politics. we should have effective means of acknowledging that horror and rage and grief beyond 'space holding' and the having conversations industrial complex. we should be definitive that liberation doesnt count on our comfort, but it counts on the security of people we are motivated to brutalize, erase, and neglect. we should be wearing fucking masks and setting covid procedures of our own in place. we should unanimously accept that fighting nasty is our prerogative, being authoritative and private in a fascist surveillance state is our prerogative. we should be fighting for our fucking lives. 'palestine is liberating us' should also mean learning from their example in materially supporting and enacting the things we're supposed to condemn in polite conversation. and im grateful to god people in my life understand this, tho its not all there, but its nonexistent when i leave my bubble and that is so fucking disappointing.

and im horrified at the muslims who make the palestinian struggle into the staged drama of yawm al qiyama but dont challenge our most fundamental practices + rituals in the context of this very struggle. you cannot say this genocide is jihad and still give suu'di your dime for hajj. makkah has become a money trap for an oppressive regime. our prerogative is to topple all oppressive regimes, in our homes, our lands, and our holy sites, just as we were taught in the qur'an. there is no true hajj under occupation and rule of people posing as the voice of God. we are commanded in the first fucking verses revealed to our messenger that the ultimate end is liberation, and that should be the foundation. these sheikhs and salafis and the gulf bourgeoisie + capitalists want us to have five pillars and no walls, no roof, no floor to speak of. empty, its all empty of meaning until we move

#delete later

[ray-ray-writings]

UMM THIS

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe24dvmM/

Im sorry I know you are packed and busy but can I make a request based on that video?? BECAUSE HOT DAM JUST WILBUR ENTERING LIKE

‘WHAT IS THIS I HEARD ABOUT HURTING Y/N AND TOMMY ‘

LOOK AT THAT VIDEO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME YOU ARENT SIMPING TO THAT MAN

I simply cannot tell you that because it would be untrue because I am SIMPING so hard…. Also this was way longer and had a lot more plot than I originally planned so…. There’s that lol. Hope you enjoy. (P.S. Because it’s so long, this is going to be the only post tonight, my brain is a bit fried rn lol. Have a great night everyone!)

Warnings: Mentions of very quickly losing a lot of weight, it’s brief but it’s there. As well as, manipulation from Dream. At one point the reader is like “wow it’s been three days since you hit me… Thanks Dream!” And a few swear words here and there. 

Before Wilbur died, you and Wilbur were married. It absolutely broke your heart to watch the love of your life lose his mind (and then his life) for the nation that you and he created to raise and protect your boys in. But you stood by his side until the very end. You held his hand as he died and clutched his body with Phil once it was over. Ghostbur gave you somewhat of a shock. Because you’re husband was back, and he remembered you. He was the man you had married. The person he was before the presidency, before the war, before L’Manberg… You’re Wilbur was back. But you were still sad. You couldn’t hug him or kiss him like you were able to and although he seemed to be right in front of you, it felt like he couldn’t be farther away. Ghostbur can see this and decides that if he can, he really wants to try to come back to life. He tells his father and older brother about this and so they begin planning and researching. In doing this, they kind of accidentally turn a blind eye to what is happening to you and Tommy. 

While those three are figuring out how to bring Wilbur back from the dead, you and Tommy are being harassed by Dream. Something else you lost when you lost Wilbur was protection from Dream. For some reason, Dream was always afraid of Wilbur. Perhaps it was his ability to always stand up for what he wanted and fight for the things he loves… Or perhaps it was because he was Techno’s brother. Doesn’t matter. Point is when you lost Wilbur you lost the protection from Dream. Dream threatens you and Tommy, trying to provoke Tommy and trick him into doing stuff so that Dream could get him in trouble and one day it finally works. Dream tells Tommy where George’s vacation house is because he knows that Tommy cannot resist checking a place out and looking through other people’s stuff. So Tommy drags Ranboo over there and while they’re there they accidentally knock over a lantern and burn some of the house and some of the chests. On the other side of the server, Dream is in your home, poking fun at you for losing your husband and telling you that it was partially your fault and just stuff like that. You didn’t react. You never could when talking to Dream. But his words stung and slashed deep, and he knew it. Finally after a while of this, Tommy comes bursting through your front door, out of breath and seemingly panicked. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, leaving your kitchen and going to comfort your boy. Tommy is about to spill everything but when he looks up he sees Dream and immediately swallows his words. “We were playing tag… That’s all… Tag” he says. You absolutely do not believe him but you catch his gaze and know that whatever he’s done he cannot say it in front of Dream. So you decide you’ll just have to wait…. You don’t have to wait long. 

“You burnt down George’s vacation home?” Dream’s deadly tone sounds from the kitchen. Your eyes widen and scan Tommy’s face and the look that overtakes him, you know it’s true. “I did not burn it down… I knocked over a lantern and a small fire broke out… I tried to repair everything, it’s fine.” Tommy insists. But Dream seems too pissed to listen to reason. “Come with me” he hisses, marching forward and snatching Tommy’s wrist tightly and marching out of the house. A small whimper left Tommy’s lips as he was pulled causing you to fly into a rage. “Let go of him!” you demand, chasing after them. Dream doesn’t listen and so you reach out and shove his shoulder causing him to stumble, let go of Tommy’s wrist and whip around to face you too. A chilling smile rests on his face, “Oh you just messed up big time.” Before you can react, he reaches out, grabs your wrist, grabs Tommy’s again and continues on down the Prime Path. You’d try to fight it but the grip on your wrist was just too strong. Dream pulls you to Tubbo and immediately jumps on the boy. He explains what happened as well as says that you assaulted him and that he wants you two exiled from L’Manberg or there will be hell to pay. Dream tells Tubbo he will start a war and will kill everyone and everything if his orders are not followed. You can tell Tubbo really doesn’t want to, but it’s something he has to do. Tubbo lets out a small sigh and nod, “Okay Dream. You win.” He murmurs, not looking at Tommy’s betrayed face. “Excellent choice, Mr. President,” the man spits out. “Tubbo” Tommy utters broken heartedly, staring at his best friend, silently begging him to say sike… It never comes. “Dream please escort Tommy and Y/N out of my country.” “With pleasure” You wrist is seized again and you’re being dragged away from your home. 

After you three get out of the SMP, Dream lets go of your wrists and lets you walk for yourself. You approach Tommy and wrap a comforting arm around him. “It’s going to be okay Tommy. Everything is going to be okay.” You comfort the young boy who sighs and nods, “I just can’t believe that he would throw me under the bus like that,” Tommy murmurs. “I know kiddo. I know.” You follow Dream for a very long time until he is satisfied that you are far enough away from the rest of the SMP. “Okay, we stop here… Put your stuff in this hole,” Dream commands, digging a small hole for the two of you to throw your stuff in. You let out a scoff and roll your eyes, “No way. You’ve already forced us into exile. There’s no way we’re giving you our stuff.” Dream’s face flushed a bright red before he lurched forward and grabbed you. Putting in a headlock to where you’re back was pressed against his chest, his arm around your throat while he has a crossbow to your head. “I’ve had enough of you fucking attitude Y/N. You have no power here. I do. I’m in charge and when I say to do something, you do it. If I ask you to jump, the only thing you may ask after that is “How high?” Do you understand?” You don’t speak, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of obedience. But then the tip of the arrow digs into the side of your head causing you to let out a small pained whimper, “I said, do you understand?” he demands again. “Yes” you finally whimper out. He moves the crossbow away from your skull and lets you go and shoves you forward, stumbling into Tommy who catches you and stabilizes you. “Put your stuff in the hole… Now” he growls, not in the mood for any more ‘games’. You and Tommy share a look and then a sigh and slowly put your things in the hole like he demanded. And you could only watch as he placed TNT above it and blew up everything. All of your items that you had worked hard for… Gone in a moment. Dream leaves with a cackle. You and Tommy are just there. Shocked. Finally, after a few moments, you’re able to shake yourself out of it. “Okay… Let’s get started, there’s no time to waste.” Tommy just looks at you and then he sighs and nods. “Let’s do it then.” The two of you spend the rest of the day gathering materials and building yourself a little shelter. You were all alone… At least you were all alone with your brother.

As we all know, Dream comes back almost every day. He comes back, blows up your stuff and leaves. The first time he came back you tried to stop him… It didn’t go well. “Dream, please he just-“ He cut off your words with a harsh slap across the face. It sends you flying and leaves your head spinning. “Haven’t you learned yet? Stuff. Hole. Now.” And you have no choice but to obey. You watch with a broken heart as Tommy slowly begins to actually trust Dream and believe him when he says that no one misses him. You do your best to be there for him and convince him that it’s not true but as days go by and no one, not even your Ghostbur, you can’t help but slowly believe that they’ve forgotten about you two. As time goes on, it seems that you and Tommy fade. You lose a lot of weight. Your food source is scarce and you have to do a lot of work because you’re restarting every. single. day. You get hurt a lot easier and it takes a lot more time to recover. Every once in a while, Dream will physically hurt you. Whether it a slap or a small sword slash, he does it just to make sure you still remember who’s in charge. You just learn to take it and deal with it. It hurts, but at least it’s you and not Tommy. Ranboo visits you once and is horrified at what he sees. He’s worried about you, but knows he can do basically nothing to help you. He makes a mental note to tell someone about it back in the SMP…. And even though he has memory problems, this is one thing he cannot forget. 

On the other side of the SMP, Philza, Techno, and Ghostbur have done it. They’ve cracked it. They have figured out how to bring Ghostbur back to life and to bring back Wilbur. The three make the plan and tell no one, especially not you. (Yeah…. They don’t even realize that you and Tommy aren’t around rn lol) They want to make sure this works before they tell anyone. So they do all the prep and the work and then they perform the ritual. They perform it in a cave somewhere just a little bit away from Techno’s house so that absolutely no one would know where they are or what they were doing. They begin just as nightfalls. Carefully completely each step and making sure they’re doing everything just right, knowing if they fuck up one small thing it’s over and they won’t be able to get Wilbur back. The three complete the final step and wait…. Nothing happens. “Fuck!” Techno curses, his eyes falling to the book, “We did everything right! It should have worked!” “Techno calm down, we’re all upset but at least we-” Philza doesn’t get to finish. All of the sudden a bright light floods the room. The light? It’s coming from Ghostbur. “Uhh guys?” the ghost questions in fear as he is levitated off the ground. Philza and Techno cannot look at him for fear of going blind. Ghostbur is unsure of what is happening but then the shredding pain fills his body. A scream rips from his throat as his whole form begins to physicalize. The skin begins to become real as the bones, blood, organs, and all other internal body parts forms. All memories that Ghostbur had forgotten flood Wilbur’s mind as his whole life flashes before his eyes, reminding him of everything. It only lasts a few moments more before the light fades and Wilbur is dropped from the air. His body hits the ground with an extremely harsh thump. He feels the impact and lets out a groan. His whole body is sore… But he’s there. He’s real and most importantly he’s alive. “Wilbur?” Philza asks hesitantly. Wilbur lets out another groan. The two standing men share a look before rushing to his side. They kneel beside him and gently reach out. Don’t tell anyone but tears threaten to fall from both men’s eyes, Philza and Techno’s, as their hands actually are able to touch Wilbur and they don’t go through him as if he were a ghost. They gently help him from his side to laying on his back. At the movement, Wilbur opens his eyes and is met with the tear laced ones of two of his family members. “Hey guys” he manages to croak out, “how’s it going” “Wilbur” Philza breaks, a tear streaming down his cheek before he lurches forward and wraps the boy into a warm hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” the older man sobs to his son. “Shhhh,” Wilbur calms his father, “It’s okay Dadza. I wanted it. You did what you had to do. It’s okay.” To the two’s surprise’s Techno’s buff arms wrap around the two and join in the hug. “It’s uhhh… it’s good to see you Wilbur” Techno grumbles, not really liking the emotion that had built up in his chest. Wilbur let out a soft laugh, “Good to see you too Tech.” 

The sweet moment is broken by someone calling Techno’s name a little ways away from the cave. At first, they elect to ignore it, but then the voice calls again, this time for Philza and they can tell now that whoever it is, is panicking. So the two help Wilbur up and gently help him out of the cave. They look out over the snow and find Ranboo there, standing on Techno’s front porch. “Ranboo!” Techno calls out causing the tall boy to turn around and then run at them. “Techno! Phil!.... Is that Wilbur? Like actual real Wilbur? He’s alive?” Ranboo asks, his tone still slightly panicked. “Yes Ranboo… It’s a long story but to sum it up we managed to bring Wilbur back to life… Now why are you here and why are you panicked.” Ranboo’s eyes shift back to Wilbur and gulps, “I knew you weren’t going to like this… But now you’re really not going to like this… Dream is hurting Y/N and Tommy…” All three, especially Wilbur, snap to attention at that. “What?” Wilbur asks harshly. Ranboo gulps and nods before diving into his story. He tells them about your exile and how Dream has been treating you two, blowing up your stuff and even physically harming Y/N. He tells them that Dream has the two convinced that nobody cares about them anymore. The three go stiff at that. Have they all been so focused they really missed all of this? Well time to go right some wrongs. It is almost as if all ache and tiredness left Wilbur’s body at the thought of his spouse being hurt, especially at the hands of Dream. He straightens up and takes a few steps toward Ranboo, “Take them to us” he speaks, his tone pretty damn dark. Ranboo nods and quickly turns around and leads the three men back to the exile spot. 

Back in exile, you and Tommy built a house… Logsted! It wasn’t exactly your taste, but it made Tommy happy so you lived in it together. You had woken up, actually feeling kind of good. The bruises and nicks on your face had slowly begun to heal and Dream hadn’t hit you in the past three days. You had a nice dinner last night, you and Tommy had found some chickens and made a small chicken farm a little ways away from the house so that way Dream couldn’t easily find it, but point is you had chicken for dinner… that’s what I was getting at… I’ll move on. So long story short, you were feeling good. The sun had risen and so Tommy and you were just kind of waiting for Dream to show up so you could get the daily blowing up over with. And like clockwork, he shows up, but for some reason he’s angry. For the past couple days he’d actually be pleasant to be around, greeting you asking you how you’ve been. But today was different. He slammed the door open and begins digging a hole in the middle of Logstedshire… That’s really weird. He was going to blow up the stuff inside the house? No way. But he points to the hole and you know he wants you to dump your items in. You move to the hole but don’t throw your stuff in, “Inside the house? Can we please go outside, I don’t want to ruin our hard work” wrong thing to say. A growl escapes Dream’s lips as he reaches forward and slaps you hard across the face, harder than he’s ever slapped you. It is enough to make you dizzy, but you don’t even have time to recover because his hand is in your hair, yanking it back forcing you to look at him. “You stupid bitch. You would think that after all this time, you would have learned by now… I mean you were doing so so well. But it just seems that you never learn your lesson… Guess I’ll have to teach you yet again.” And he pulls out his sword and points it at your stomach, ready to slice you again. Just as he’s about to harm you, the door swings open again and someone stumbles in. They lean against the doorframe with their hand grabbing the top of the frame. You can hear Tommy let out a gasp and you watch Dream’s eyes widen in fear. “So Dream,” an all too familiar voice calls, “What’s this about hurting Y/N and Tommy now?” And then you’re let go by Dream. You crash to the ground, fall flat on your ass, but you manage to scramble to a stand as you stare at the door frame in complete... Shock? Amazement? Fear? You can’t tell. You’re husband, Wilbur, is standing there in the flesh. Literally in the flesh. He’s alive again and you cannot believe it. “Wilbur” Dream stutters out, “You’re alive? How-” “That doesn’t matter, Dream. What matters is the fact that you’ve been hurting Y/N and Tommy… We can’t have that. So now what is going to happen is I’m going to take my family back to L’Manberg and you are never going to hurt them again,” Wilbur announces, moving ever so slightly further into the room. Seeming to have recovered just a bit from shock, Dream actually retorts, “Or what?”. Two more people enter the house and it causes Dream to blanch even further. “I think you know what… now run along.” Not wanting to risk it, Dream takes off running. 

Once you’re sure he’s gone, you allow yourself to speak. “Wilbur?” You whisper out, still not sure if this is real or if you’re dreaming. Wilbur’s attention shifts to you and he completely soften. “Hello,” he greets with a soft smile on his face, taking a few steps toward you, “Have you missed me?” Deciding you don’t care if he’s real or not, you rush forward and throw yourself into his arms. You, like Philza and Techno, almost cry at the feeling of your body’s connecting. He’s here. He’s real. And he’s alive. His arms wrap around you and hold you to him so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. But you don’t care. You’re hugging your husband. You’re actually hugging your husband. “I missed you so much, Wilby. I mean we had Ghostbur but it wasn’t the same. I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulders, the tears slowly falling out of your eyes. His hand comes up and slowly pets your head, in silent comfort and reassurance. 

After a few minutes you pull away slightly, “How are you-” You’re cut off by his lips pressing against your and you cannot help but melt. It has been months since his passing and this was just the absolute best feeling in the world. You kiss back with so much passion it makes your head spin, this time in a good way. It’s also probably the only time ever his brother’s didn’t fake vomit at the sight of you kissing. You only pull back to catch a breath, but right as you breathe in, Wilbur’s lips are back on yours. The process repeats a few times, before you manage to breathe out a “Will,” causing him to pull back, but leaving his forehead resting on yours and his lips just hovering above yours. “Yes my love,” he mumbles to you. “Can we go home please” you ask, not wanting to be here at Logstedshire any longer. He gives you a warn grin, leaning the inch forward and kissing you once more before giving his answer. “Of course my love. Let’s get out of here.” 

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt drabble #wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot drabble #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit #ranboo #dream #tubbo #ray responds #our beloved alex8o

[danniburgh]

As the trees miss the Autumn (Javier Peña x f!reader x OFC)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x ofc

Summary: It was almost meant to be; Lia and you had spent six months together before meeting Javier and never felt like something was missing until he smirked towards you; The three of you really didn’t know exactly how it started, but you knew how it had ended.

Word count: +9.2k

Warnings: mild angst, OT3 SMUT, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, oral, cum play. I made it gay, pregnancy. I think that’s it.

A/N: guys this is terribly self indulgent, i just wanna say that i loved writing this bc im super bi and i want a relationship like this. This one is dedicated to @mouthymandalorian​ just because i love her and i might wanna kiss her deeply

Masterlist // Read on ao3 // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

gif: @javier-pena​ 

None of you really knew exactly how it started;

For Lia it was when she met you, in a tiny, dirty bar, hiding away from the men that wanted to take you out to dance, begging someone to save you from the claws of a crowded dance floor. She bought you a beer after the one you’d been nursing was gone as you enjoyed the attention of a not-so-older, gorgeous woman and after that she took your hand, got inside a cab with you, spent the ten-minute ride caressing your thigh over your skirt, welcomed you into her apartment and kissed you like a woman starving as soon as she closed the door

For you it was at the end of that whole long weekend you spent at her place, she had taught you to cook that potato omelet you liked so much the first time she cooked it for you, only wrapped in a bathrobe with her arms wrapped around your waist and her lips nibbling at your neck, you ate the almost burnt omelet sitting on her kitchen counter while she stood between your legs and right after you finished she ate you as a dessert.

For Javier it was when he met you at an empty bar that served the best chicken wings you or Lia could’ve ever had; he saw you laughing and holding hands from his seat on the bar while the bartender poured him the third whiskey of that night, he liked Lia’s hair and your laugh, the way she gripped your forearm with her lean fingers made him feel something he swore he wouldn’t be able to feel again; the way you leaned onto her to brush her cheek made him lick his lips in craving for that kind of intimacy, and when you and Lia both turned to see him at the same time, he knew he was screwed.

For the three of you it was when Lia had all but forced you to walk up to the handsome man with the mustache that sat on the bar, she had told him if he enjoyed the view and you asked him if he was alone: he answered yes to both questions. Two hours later, several chicken wings orders and a never ending chat, the three of you were in Javier's car and driving to his place while discussing the terms of what the three of you wanted to be a possible permanent agreement.

It was almost meant to be; Lia and you had spent six months together before meeting Javier and never felt like something was missing until he smirked towards you.

What the three of you started to build wasn’t always honey over pancakes; there’s was jealousy and possessiveness; Javier was a blunt man with a difficult job, several hours away from home and feeling like he should keep everything to himself; Lia was moody and controlling on her bad days, she knew what she wanted and how she wanted it and she knew how to get things, she and Javier clasped and crashed almost every day; you were more passive than them, quiet on your good days and loud on the bad ones, you had your own rituals and your own quirks, but there was this role that was implicitly assigned to you when that relationship started; you were to bring the three of you together.

But with the pass of time the only complicated thing left was sex; almost always between the three of you; counted times you had one of them only for you or they had themselves. You did it all together.

The three of you really didn’t know exactly how it started, but you knew how it had ended.

Two years into your relationship; after life had thrown at you some heavy rocks, after part of your families accepted the uncommon root of the love you shared, after sharing a living space and building a life together; Javier got transferred to Colombia.

The night he brought the news to you and Lia he was a different man, he looked ten years aged, tired and bewildered; it wasn’t like he didn’t ask for it, he did but out of commitment to his office; he really didn’t want to go to a foreign country to fight a war you and Lia had convinced him was not his to fight; but the wars are never fair to the desires of the people and he received the transfer papers and a work visa. When he found out he had a week to pack his life in two suitcases and say goodbye to his family; his dad, Lia and you.

And even though he had never really said he loved either of you out loud; as he preferred to show you, the day Lia and you went to drop him at the airport he hugged each one tightly, he whispered against your ears how much he loved you and how grateful he was that you had made space for him in your lives, he kissed you both like a man starved; not caring about the few glances you three got as you said your goodbyes and after the second call on the airport speakers for the passengers with destination to Bogotá, Colombia, Lia and you saw him disappear through the boarding gate.

So you returned to a home that felt empty without his broad body present; his cologne still lingered in the space and the smell of the man you slept wrapped around for two years made you break as Lia held you; the night he left, neither of you slept.

At first he called two or three times a week; he really tried to be there for both, asking about your days, trying to tell you both about his; but life has a way to show you who really is in charge. Life has its own plans and so his workload was heavier and your lives got busier, so his calls eventually stopped making the phone ring.

You missed him; missed him like the stars missed the bright light of the moon when it was new; Lia missed him like the trees missed the leaves they lost during fall; Javier missed you like the fire missed the oxygen it needed to survive; it was a miserable feeling that he tried to drown in his own ways, always trying to get his ways to be shaped as Lia or you: but it was never enough.

Javier got to a point where he felt pure and green envy towards the both of you because you still had each other: in the years you had shared together he got to feel like and addition and not a part of something whole only a few times and only in the beginning; neither you nor Lia ever made him feel like he didn’t fit or he wasn’t as much yours as you were his. But he was alone in a country he never knew and he only knew a variant of the language of, he was tired and some nights he felt cold and scared like when he was a child and he could only think of the warmness of your bodies that he should’ve never left behind.

And so a year passed, and then another one did; if it wasn’t because of the few phone calls you two gave him, on christmas, on his birthday, on yours, on the times you two felt like it was too much and you just needed to hear his voice and you forced him to stay on the phone until he was practically falling asleep while talking; he could’ve sworn he would’ve already forgotten the sweet and sour sound of your voices. 

If it wasn’t because of the pictures you sent him with the few letters you wrote him, some of you together, some of you smiling into the camera; some of you kissing so he wouldn’t forget he was still yours even if he was thousands of miles away; he could’ve sworn he would’ve forgotten your faces, or the color of your hair and Lia’s green eyes, or the shape or your bodies, or the color or your pretty pussies as one of you spread it open with your fingers and snapped a polaroid of it all wet and leaky for you and him.

He was actually grateful for the obscene amount of nude pics you two had sent him; your naked bodies were the last thing he wanted to forget about you.

Neither you nor Lia ever expected him to send something back; you still had the comfort of each other’s bodies, and you never forbid Javier from finding comfort in another person; you wanted him to be as happy as he could be in a place that seemed even god had forsaken, but that didn’t mean you didn’t miss him.

You missed him until you couldn’t anymore.

“Babe.” Lia whispered in your ear one night; the room still smelled like sex and you and her and the absence of Javier’s essence.

“Yeah?” you answered, shifting on your side to face her, both of you sleeping in the middle of the bed, right where Javier used to sleep.

“What if we go see Javi?” she whispered again, you frowned.

“Baby,” you scoffed softly, you could see in the darkness and by the very few moonlight that entered the room the way she rolled her eyes, “he told us we shouldn’t.”

“Yeah, I know,” she let out, frustrated, you reached to her and pressed her against you, leaving a kiss on her cheek, she sighed “I miss him.”

You said nothing, nodding a few times so she could be sure you agreed. Lia knew you missed him too, missed him like crazy.

Lia’s hand brushed softly through the skin of your naked hip and she left a feathery kiss on your lips.

“I wanna see him,” she whispered out, pouting, through the darkness you saw her eyes begging you for it, you shook your head softly; Lia let out another sigh and leaned towards you to lick at your lower lip, her hand sliding to the apex of your thighs and her lean fingers found immediately your clit, you gasped “let’s go see him,” she cooed on your mouth as her fingers brushed your slick folds “let’s go see our boy.”

“Not fair,” you let out on a moan when her fingers slid inside your cunt and she pressed into you softly “you’re playing dirty, Li.” she smiled against the skin of your chin and scissored her fingers inside you, you gasped again.

“Please, baby, he misses us.” she whispered as her thumb circled your clit, she pumped her fingers inside you and she left soft kisses on your jaw just like Javier used to do.

The coil that she had built inside your belly broke and you only could whisper his name.

Lia huffed a smile and brought her fingers to her mouth as you recovered from the orgasm she made you feel.

“Call Chucho in the morning,” you panted out, “ask him if he wants us to take something with us.”

Lia smiled at you and cupped your face to kiss you deeply.

__

“He’s gonna be so mad.” Lia said with a smile as you walked into Houston Intercontinental Airport with one suitcase each and holding hands. You scoffed and rolled your eyes at her.

“First, he's gonna fuck us and then he will send us back, just you wait.” you let out on a low voice and Lia cackled.

__

“A’right baby, turn on your lying, please.” Lia said as you walked out of the plane into the gate’s doors, you gripped her hand tightly and then let her go as you walked towards the immigration booths; the almost three-hour flight was spent with you trying to come up with something to tell the immigration agents besides we are here to visit our boyfriend, who is a fed; that was the first thing Chucho told you not to do.

After talking to one agent each you got the free pass into the country and Lia didn’t wait to be far away from them to gasp in relief.

“I’m so happy Javi forced spanish onto us,” she let out, grabbing your hand again, heading towards the doors, you chuckled. “I don’t wanna know how much harder it would be without at least being able to say Hola and Vine a conocer Colombia.”

The afternoon air in Bogotá was considerably colder than it was in Houston, which made Lia shiver, and you reached for the piece of paper you had scribbled Javier’s address onto and had shoved inside your pants as Lia called for a taxi with her not so lady-like whistle.

A cab parked in front of you and Lia turned on her mean face; the one she used when she knew certain situations could turn sideways quickly, and the one she started using when Javier was no longer walking next to either of you; the driver helped with your suitcases and you got inside the car, you reached for Lia’s hand and rested the entanglement of fingers on your lap.

“I’m nervous.” you muttered, Lia chuckled in agreement.

__

Javier ran out of the office with Steve tailing him almost at the same speed.

“Jav, what the fuck is going on?” Steve asked again, louder than when he saw him stamping the phone back on its cradle and let out a chain of curses in both english and spanish.

Javier didn’t answer, he didn't even acknowledge Steve as his partner’s heavy steps echoed his own while he sprinted out of the embassy building and towards his truck.

Javier stopped hearing Steve’s steps when he reached for his keys in his pocket and jumped inside his Bronco.

“Fuck!” Javier let out as he maneuvered the steering wheel, backed up the truck and eyed Steve standing on the embassy steps, completely flabbergasted out of the corner of his eye.

Steve saw the truck racing out of the parking lot with an angry Javier driving like crazy, as he frowned, wondering what Javier's dad told his partner that made him run out like there was a fire.

__

“Are you sure is this one?” Lia asked once the cab drove away, you nodded and walked towards the building steps.

“What I’m not sure of is if he’s even here.” you muttered out, chuckling, Lia shook her head with a smile and walked next to you, she opened the building door and you walked in; it smelled somewhat dampy and enclosed, nothing unbearable but it was certainly different, there was no elevator and according to the address you and Lia wrote on the envelopes when you sent him stuff, his apartment was on the third floor.

Lia sighed behind you when you took in the building's silence and you nodded your head towards the stairs.

“Let’s go.” you winked at her and stretched your hand so she could take it.

Going up the stairs with a semi-heavy suitcase in one hand and your girlfriend in the other wasn't easy, but when you reached the third floor all the discomfort left your body and the feeling that settled inside you was a mix between nervousness and excitement.

Lia pulled you forward to walk towards one of the two doors on that floor and you raised your hand to knock.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you heard behind you the recognizable and unmistakable hard, deep, very angry voice of Javier.

Lia frowned next to you, and you let your mouth curl into a smile.

Javier felt his chest throb and his heart stop when he saw you turn around to face him at the same time.

“Javi!” you gasped out and let go of Lia’s hand and your suitcase, running up to where he was standing and throwing yourself to him.

Javier’s hands landed on your waist and your arms curled around his neck, he shivered slightly when he felt you inhaling him; he smelled as he always did, cigarette, that cologne you never learned the name of, musk and his sweet, sweaty body essence.

Lia glared at him, Javier felt it deep inside him, she was waiting for him to do something to you, anything.

“What are you doing here?” he asked again, Lia dropped her shoulders in half-relief, half-exhaustion.

“We came to see you,” you replied, your voice muffled by the fabric of his jacket, your face still buried on his shoulder, he gripped your body closer to him “aren’t you happy to see us?” you whispered.

“Yes, Javi, aren’t you?” Lia let out, leaving her own suitcase, walking up to him and reaching to cup his face, Javier relaxed slightly and leaned onto her soft touch, leaning down so she could leave a kiss on his jaw.

“Why did you come?” he whispered as he looked into her green gaze, Lia narrowed her eyes.

“Because you didn't bother to visit, Javier,” Lia admonished, her hardened voice caused you to wake up from the day slumber that breathing in Javier’s smell gave you and you turned on his shoulder to see her, “we missed you like crazy.” 

“Lia,” he let go of you to cup her face, she frowned when you let out a soft yelp and slapped his arms away, “baby.” Javier let out.

“Don’t you dare.” she tightened her jaw, you bit your lip and sensed the unaddressed tension between them.

“Javi.” you called him, knowing that if you didn’t try to stop him Lia would snap at him.

“Amelia.” Javier called out again, and Lia let out a soft growl.

“Javi.” you called again, your voice growing desperate.

“I told you not to come.” he told her, Lia pushed him back, he didn’t move.

“Yet you didn’t visit.” she let out, you closed your eyes and breathed in, Javier crossed his arms on his chest.

“I couldn’t, you know it,” he said, “I needed to stay here, have you forgotten?” you noticed how Lia’s face grew red and, as if it happened in slow motion, she raised her hand and clasped her palm across his face.

Javier didn’t move, but he rubbed his cheek with his own hand and glared at her.

“Lia!” you walked towards them and planted your feet so your body acted as a barrier between them both.

“That’s why you came?” Javier muttered out behind you “to slap me?”

“No, asshole!” she let out, deflating in front of you, you wanted nothing more but to reach to her, knowing how hard it was for her sometimes to just let go and let herself feel things “we love you, we missed you!”

“Lia, stop.” you begged, getting in her line of view, she dropped her shoulders and nodded at you.

“Fine.” she mouthed to you and crossed her arms on her chest, the same gesture she had acquired from Javier.

“And you,” you turned around to face Javier, whose hand had dropped back to his side, “don’t be so hard on us, it’s been two years.” you whispered to him, Javier put his hands on his hips and leaned to the side, you saw him chew the inside of his cheek and his eyes fell to the floor.

“Baby,” he muttered without looking at you, stretching his hand so you could take it, you did, his hand wrapped yours almost entirely and you felt a bolt of energy going through your spine “it’s so dangerous down here…” he let out in a sigh, you felt Lia’s presence behind you.

“It’s been two years.” you repeated, gripping the hold on his hand, he nodded and looked at you and then at Lia.

“Say you missed us, idiot.” Lia let out, wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her chin on your shoulder, Javier smirked and shook his head.

Before he could open his mouth to say a thing, a heavy set of rushed steps was heard behind Javier.

“Jav?” he dropped your hand and turned around, you narrowed your eyes as you looked at the tall, blonde man standing at the edge of the stairs.

“Who is this?” Lia asked lowly in your ear and you shrugged.

“Isn’t his partner blonde?” you recalled from your calls with Javier. Lia shrugged back.

“Hey,” Javier let out, not moving from his position in the middle of the hallway, the man looked at both of you and eyed thoughtfully the grip Lia had on your body “you followed me?” Javier asked.

“No, but what the hell, man?” he spat in a southern accent that made you smile, “you just rushed out like a crazy person.”

“Murph, please…” Javier sighed towards him.

“It is his partner.” you murmured to Lia, remembering the name Javier had told you once he talked to you about the new man that was being sent to work with him.

“You Murphy?” Lia asked, you bit your lips to hide your smile and elbowed her softly.

“Yeah…” he replied hesitantly. Javier turned to look at the both of you and closed his eyes, you let your lips curl in a smile, “I’m sorry, do I know you?” he narrowed his blue eyes at you and Lia.

“No.” Javier spat, you feigned a gasp and Lia released you from her hold.

“Javier didn’t tell you about us?” Lia asked and you looked at the way Javier hid his eyes from the man. Murphy tilted his head.

“Oh…” he let out softly “this’ your girls?” the man pointed at you both with two fingers and Javier sighed.

“Yes, yes we are,” Lia let out, walking towards him, she raised her hand, he shook it and she introduced you to him with your full name “and I’m Amelia.”

“Well, nice to meet you’both.” he let out with a soft, tight-lipped smile as he walked to shake your hand.

“Shut the fuck up, Steve,” Javier let out, making you chuckle “how did you know?” he growled out.

“Jav, you may not mention them,” he said, walking towards Javier “but when you speak to’em you light up, man, you’re not the only man that notices stuff,” Steve slapped Javier’s arm a few times and turned to the both of you, “welcome to Colombia, I guess.” he shrugged with a charming smile and walked to the opposite direction, pulled out a set of keys and opened the door right in front of Javier’s apartment, disappearing behind it with a nod towards you and Lia.

“I like him.” you said, Lia snorted.

“Shut up.” Javier muttered, mimicking Steve’s actions and opening his door, he walked in with yours and Lia’s suitcases and left the door open for you.

“I told you he’d be mad.” Lia said, walking inside the apartment, you let out a soft chuckle.

“I think we can make him feel better in no time.” you responded, walking behind her and closing the door.

You and Lia inspectioned the apartment carefully, looking at what he had done with an embassy issued place in the last two years he had been living there, you liked just how him it was.

Javier had left the suitcases near a door that you figured lead to the room, Lia grunted at the cheesy dog portrait in one of the walls but smiled softly at the full bar that had its place near the window in the living room.

“Can you please explain to me now why you came?” Javier sat on the leather loveseat, holding his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.

“We told you, Javi…” Lia said, walking to sit next to him, you did the same, sitting on his other side, the couch was comfortable but you liked the one you had in Houston better. “we missed you.”

“God,” Javier sighed out, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and reached to him to kiss his cheek “I missed you too,” he looked at both of you and Lia let out the first smile towards him of the evening “both of you.”

“We know, dummy,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder as he moved his arms to hug you both, “don’t be angry, please.” you all but pleaded, your soft voice made him huff.

“How could I?” he said, kissing the crown of your head and turning to kiss Lia on the cheek “you’re both insane,” he muttered, you chuckled, “whose idea was it?”

“Lia’s” you whispered, shivering at the way his hand was drawing shapeless forms on your covered skin.

“Of course,” he chuckled softly and tightened the grip on your bodies, “of course it was.” he murmured against Lia’s cheek.

“Sorry for the slap.” she said, moving her head to kiss his lips, he smiled against her mouth.

“I liked it.” he murmured.

“Should I do it again?” Lia whispered back, you smiled broadly at their flirting. Two years had passed without him, and they were still the same teasing, flirty fuckers you fell in love with.

“No, no hitting,” you whispered out, Lia smiled at you and you moved to kiss Javier’s neck “we are making love tonight,” your words against the skin of his neck made him sigh and Lia looked at him with a mischievous smile, mimicking your movements and licking a stripe of skin on the other side “we can fuck tomorrow.”

“Shit,” he moaned out softly when Lia nibbled at his earlobe “you came here to kill me.” you huffed and the hot air that came out of your mouth hitting the wet skin of his neck made him shiver again.

“Maybe.” you whispered roughly in his ear and he smirked at the low, growly, hungry tone of your voice.

“My dirty girl,” he whispered, turning to face you and looking for your lips, you caved in and licked his lower lip, he let out a low groan and devoured your mouth for the first time in two years; immediately, warmness leaked out of you and a never-really extinguished coil with his name embroidered on lit up inside your belly, “I missed your lips so much,” he whispered against your lips, only to you, you smiled softly and nibbled at his lip, feeling Lia’s hand reaching to you and making you press your chest to Javi’s side, he left a soft kiss on your lips and turned to her, she cupped his jaw with her other hand and kissed him deeply, Javier loved the difference between you and her; your lips kissed him softly but hungrily, there was always a willing to give him something of you in each of your kisses, he liked to think he stole some of your youth directly from your mouth every time you kissed him; Lia’s lips kissed him deeply and patiently, always heavy with a deep emotion she could never put into words, but she spilled as her tongue touched his. He loved the difference, and he loved that he could taste your kisses once again.

“Javi,” you whispered in his ear, he hummed in response and you smiled against his cheek, your hand sliding to palm his crotch over his jeans “take us to your room.” Javier let out a chuckle, remembering that was the same thing you said to him four years before on the first night the three of you spent together.

He stood up from the couch and stretched his hands so each of you could take one and he walked up to the small staircase and towards his room; as soon as you entered his bedroom, he gripped both of you towards his chest, you let out a chuckle at the strength and you put your hand on his chest.

“Can you kiss for me?” he asked, his hands on one side of your waists, you reached to cup a side of Lia’s face and brought her to you, her lips tasted like her and like Javi, you heard him sigh and the hand that rested on his chest slide to his pants once again, you palmed him over the denim of his jeans as Lia’s tongue snuck inside your mouth, Javier let out a moan when Lia slid a hand towards his ass and he tightened the grip over the both of you “I need you both naked.” he muttered, Lia broke the kiss and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Who told you you were in charge?” she murmured to him, making you huff.

“Shut up, Li,” you stepped back and leaned down to untie your boots, Javier walked to sit on the edge of the bed to take off his as Lia glared at you both, once your boots were off you looked at her. 

You smirked at Lia and stood straight, taking off your shirt and your jeans while fixating your eyes on her, she rolled her eyes and smiled at you, Javier stood up from the bed, shirtless and walked to you, his hands landed on your shoulders and his fingers played with the straps of your bra, you turned to him and he kissed the naked skin of your shoulder, his hands sliding to unhook your bra and help you out of it, you turned to Lia and she bit her lip, stopping unbuttoning her own jeans as Javier’s warm hands snaked towards your tits and covered them almost entirely, making you throw your head back to rest on his naked shoulders.

Lia took off her jeans and walked towards the both of you, Javier was playing with your nipples and nibbling at your neck slowly, making you gasp and sigh at that sensation you had missed so much, his fingers were so much bigger than Lia’s and he played with you like you were a delicate thing, careful to not break you.

“Javi,” you gasped his name, Lia’s hand gripped your waist and reached for Javier, who hummed in reply “touch my pussy.” you half-begged, half-demanded, one of his hands left your breast and went to cup at your sex over the fabric of your panties and his fingers glided softly across your covered lips, he leaned to kiss Lea over your body and you raised your hands to go around Lia’s body and unhook her own bra, she took it off.

Lia’s hands slid over your waist and she helped Javier to get you off your panties, she crouched to hold them as you stepped out of them and she left a soft kiss on your mound, looking straight into Javier’s brown, lust-dark eyes, you gasped and her hands glided over your thighs in a feathery touch she knew you loved.

She stood up and kissed you softly, Javier wrapped an arm around your middle and his other hand helped you hook a leg around Lia’s hips, she held it in place, his long fingers found your clit immediately and he circled it softly a few times, you let out a curse and Lia kissed the soft flesh of your breast, you raised a hand to play with one of her nipples, Javier grazed his fingers across your slit and found you wet and ready for them, he nibbled at your jaw and slid his fingers inside, you gasped his name out, closing your eyes and throwing your head to his shoulder again.

“I missed this so much,” you let out, turning your head to him and licking at his mouth, Lia’s tongue started playing with your nipple and you smiled, lost already in the pleasure they were giving you “I need you deeper.” you whispered in his mouth and his fingers pumped deeper inside your cunt, Lia’s tongue glided across your chest to your other breast and he bit softly at your nipple to get it to harden in her mouth.

“Tell him how close you are.” Lia demanded and you whined when she sucked harder at your nipple.

“I’m so close, fuck, there.” you whispered, kneading at her breast as Javier’s fingers kept pumping and pressing and pushing inside your cunt, your pussy leaked around his hand and Lia’s hand went to your sex to guide Javier and play with your clit, your nipple still in her mouth. You bucked your hips and Javier held you tighter and closer, you felt his erection on your ass, the friction of his denim-covered hardness on your naked asscheeks made you whimper.

“You’re gonna cum?” Javier asked in your ear, his warm tongue licking your earlobe, you hummed in affirmation, your eyes rolling back behind your lids, your body flushing at the sensations both their mouths and their hands were making you feel, you couldn’t formulate any words as Javier’s fingers pressed on that spongy place inside you that made your toes curl and your thighs tremble and Lia’s fingers circled your clit at the same fucking time, it was a sweet torture you had missed like the sand missed the sea on low tide days.

“Javi,” you gasped, your hand leaving Lia’s breast and gripping the wrist of the arm that held you steady, “please,” you sighed out, holding your breath, not knowing exactly what you were begging for; but they knew, they always did, so Lia’s mouth searched yours and she kissed you, her tongue warm and wet and tasting faintly like you, Javier’s mouth returned to your neck and they synchronized their movements, making you whine and moan as they raised their speed.

“Cum for us, baby.” he whispered softly in your ear and you let out a long moan when the coil inside your belly stretched and stretched at the rhythm of their movements and when he pushed in deeper and she angled her fingers to the sides it broke. Your legs stiffened and you let out the air that you didn’t know you were holding in a silent scream as they helped you ride your climax with soft, loud kisses on your neck and around your face.

“Holy fuck,” you let out lowly, opening your eyes to look at them kissing while still holding you, “can someone let me lie down, please,” you asked softly. They broke the kiss, smiled at each other and turned to you. Lia let down your leg gently and Javier walked backwards with you still wrapped tightly inside his arms. He helped you sit on the bed and you let yourself fall on the mattress. “who’s gonna sit on my face?” you let out, making them both chuckle.

Javier kneeled on the bed next to you, he supported his weight on one arm and used the other to wander around your still-shivering body, leaving soft kisses around your chest and shoulders. You smiled at him and he smiled back, your eyes took in his features and your hand went to cup his face.

“I love you.” you whispered, his smile grew wider and he leaned to take your lips in his, you felt the bed shift next to you and Lia’s hand landed on your sternum.

“Are you ready?” she whispered in your ear, Javier broke the kiss and looked at her with a confused gaze, you nodded and bit your lip in mischief.

You put your hands on Javier’s chest and Lia put hers on his shoulder, both of you pushed him to the side so he could lie on his back, Javier let out a soft oof at the sudden movement, before he could sit up you shifted on the bed and straddled his abdomen.

“Hi.” you let out with a smile, taking his hands and putting them on your naked thighs.

“Hey.” he whispered, Lia stood up from the bed, took off her own panties and walked towards his legs, Javi shivered under you at the soft touch of Lia’s hands gliding up his thighs and at the feeling of your wet pussy making full contact with the naked skin of his belly. Lia pulled his jeans off and you looked over your shoulder at her, she was devouring his erection with her deep-darkened green gaze. Her eyes met yours and you raised your eyebrows, Javier lifted his head to look at her behind you and saw her nodding to you.

You moved up on Javier’s torso until your pussy was directly leaking over his sternum, Javier could smell your arousal and he felt his cock throb at how sweet it was; he then felt Lia straddling his lap, and he closed his eyes, throwing his head on the mattress.

“Fuck.” he let out when Lia’s soft hands gripped his dick and pumped a few times, you were looking down at him, one of your hands moved to his face and your knuckles caressed the skin of his cheek and cheekbones as he felt Lia playing the tip of his cock on her wet, warm slit, covering him with her slick.

“Baby,” you whispered to him when Lia put a hand on your shoulder for support, you knew she was sitting on his cock, Javier opened his eyes half-way and gave you with a silent pleading look, he moaned gutturally and Lia behind you gasped, you turned to look at her and bit your lip when you saw her sitting fully on Javier’s cock, her head thrown back, neck stretched, her hand was still resting on your shoulder, her knees over your feet, you turned back to Javier, whose eyes were still traveling from your face to your tits and to your slick, swollen pussy in front of him and back, “you wanna eat me?” you asked him, he nodded and you smiled at him; his body started moving slowly and his eyes closed, one of his hands left your thigh and moved towards Lia’s and your smile grew.

Lia’s hand gripped your shoulder and you felt her leaning towards you, you felt her warm breath on your back and your cunt leaked more over Javier’s chest, you took her hand and circled your hips gently to gain some friction on your core; making a mess out of Javier’s skin.

“Let him eat you.” Lia whispered on the skin of your back and left a wet kiss on it, you nodded and moved carefully off Javier, kneeling next to them. Once you weren’t putting that much pressure on his body, Lia started bouncing on him.

Javier opened his eyes and grunted, one of his hands reaching for you.

“C’mere baby girl,” he muttered towards you, “sit.” he nodded his chin and you chuckled, you moved to kneel above his head and before you could sit on his mouth he blew softly into your core, making you moan. One of his hands rested on your thigh, bringing you down to him, the other on Lia’s hip, helping her move on him.

Javier flattened his tongue on your core and ran it through your folds a couple of times before sucking on your clit, you closed your eyes and reached to Lia, she took your hands and leaned to kiss you, slowing down her movements on Javier’s cock, making him grunt against your cunt.

Javier folded his legs and planted his feet on the bed, beginning a near-torturing pounding into Lia’s cunt, feeling the way her warm walls clutched his cock. Lia whined against your lips and you started circling your hips over his open mouth.

“Fu–fuck,” she gasped out, you moaned when Javier’s tongue hit your clit at a specific angle that made your breath hitch. “Ja–Javier, more.” Lia demanded, licking your lips, you grabbed her by the nape and ate her mouth, your other hand sliding to her clit, you circled it with two fingers, she whined out again and you let her rest her head on your shoulder, Javier nibbled at your pussy, sucking at the juices that were leaking because of Lia’s moans and whimpers and the wet noises of his cock thrusting in and out of her.

You pinched Lia’s clit and she bit the skin of your shoulder as she came, Javier grunted as her cunt strangled his cock but kept going, he fucked her and you played with her clit through her high and prolonged her orgasm until she screamed against your neck.

“Oh god.” she fell on your arms and you moved off Javier’s head and helped Lia to lie down next to him, Javier’s hand was on your thigh as you whispered into Lia’s ear how good she did. You felt him shift on the bed until he was resting against your back.

“Let me fuck you too.” he whispered against your hair, you nodded, Lia snuggled against your chest as Javier grabbed your leg and rested it over his hips, he wrapped himself around you and eased himself into your wet cunt, setting immediately a murdering pace, Lia hid her face into your breasts as they bounced at the rhythm of Javier’s thrusts and her hand went around the both of you to grip at his ass.

“Javi,” you whined out, your hand resting on the small of Lia’s back, she started licking at the flesh of your tits lazily “make me cum.” you begged and he grunted against your hair, his thrust becoming deeper and harder, Lia moved her head and bit your nipple, Javier started nibbling at your jaw and his fingers went to play with your clit once again, you came around him and Javier grinned against your skin when he felt you soaking his cock with your cum.

“Let me cum on your pretty faces.” he let out, still thrusting into you gently as you rode out your orgasm.

“Yes.” you and Lia replied at the same time.

Javier let out a tired chuckle, he slid out of you, both of you whimpering at the loss of connection, and he kneeled on the bed, you and Lia shifted as he pumped himself with the help of your combined arousals covering his erection, Lia reached for you and kissed you before you could crawl on the bed to wait for Javier to finish, he grunted above you.

“C’mon,” he growled, pumping himself faster, you broke the kiss, smiled at Lia and crawled to him, looking at his face with pleading eyes, “you’re so pretty, baby,” he whispered to you, his free hand caressing your hair, Lia did the same and put her face right next to yours, your cheeks pressed against each other, he looked at Lia, “and you? fuck you’re both so fucking beautiful”; Javier came when Lia dared to stick her tongue out for him, rope after rope of his cum covered your face, Javier was making sure he got both your faces equally coated as he praised you both, “you two look so fucking good covered with me.” he was grunting, milking himself; his load was big, he didn’t dare to tell you how much he had been going without having sex because for a long time no other women did the trick for him; you felt the last drop of his cum falling on your chin and you smiled at him.

“Can I eat it now?” you asked, looking up at him, Javier let out a heavy, spent sigh and smiled softly at you, throwing his head forward and you felt Lia grabbing your face and kissing your sticky cheek.

“I’ll do it for you.” she said.

“Please, don’t get me hard again.” he pleaded, letting himself fall on the mattress next to you.

__

“Don’t leave,” you pleaded, trying to put on your extra puppy eyes, Javier sighed at you “please.”

“Baby, I need to go to work.” he said, softening his tone.

“Can’t you stay a little longer?” Lia asked him behind you; you were kneeling on the bed, naked and half-ready for him just by looking at him getting ready, Lia was resting on her arm, watching him trying to come up with something else to tell you so you wouldn’t ask him again.

“I can’t.” your shoulders dropped and you sat down on your feet, Javier walked towards you as Lia sat up and shifted to sit behind you; you felt her breasts pressing against your back as Javier sat in front of you on the edge of the bed, Lia’s hands wrapped your waist and Javier narrowed his eyes at her.

“You sure?” she said, sticking her tongue out and licking a stripe of skin on your neck, you sighed, you raised a hand to cup his face.

“Stay.” you pouted slightly and gasped softly when one of Lia’s hands cupped your breast and played your nipple between two fingers.

“Fuck.” Javier let out, standing up to unbutton his shirt, making you smile.

__

You and Lia stayed in Colombia for a week; a week in which Javier felt the most relaxed he had felt in years, a week in which Javier had smiled and laughed the most in what it felt like a lifetime; he had eaten all the delicious food you had made for him, and then he had eaten you both on his bed a few hours later; he felt as if he was getting a vacation from the deep, heavy pressure of his work and his life in that country. He felt like a tiny bit of normalcy was back in his life.

But the fun, the tasty dinners with you, sometimes with you and the Murphy’s, the loving nights wrapped around your warm bodies, the long mornings of lazy sex with each or both of you, as everything in life, had to end.

“I want you to come home with us.” you whispered against his shoulder as he held you tight against his body, the noise of the airport almost made him not hear you.

“I know, baby, I wanna come home with you too,” he muttered in your ear, you let out a shaky breath and he stepped back a bit to look at you, cup your face and kiss your forehead “soon, okay?” he tried to reassure you, you smiled at him and nodded softly, he brought your face towards his and left a deep, gentle kiss on your lips “take care of Lia.”

“Okay.” you replied in his mouth and stepped back from him.

Javier stepped towards Lia and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Please, take care of yourself.” she whispered against his cheek, he nodded softly.

“Don’t leave me alone too long,” he whispered only to her, Lia closed her eyes and took a deep breath “please.”

“We’ll come back, okay?” she reassured him and turned her head to kiss him.

That time, Javier got to feel the same thing you both felt two years before when he saw your bodies walking hand in hand, disappearing behind the boarding gate.

__

Javier was sent home almost three years later after the events that went down with Los Pepes; he was sent first to Miami and then he flew straight to Laredo, to where you had driven to meet him at his dad’s ranch.

The first thing that Javier saw when he got home was Lia’s huge pregnant belly.

He had jumped off his dad’s truck before Chucho could even turn off the engine; you were sitting on the porch, Lia was complaining about her back and you were sitting next to her with your hand on her belly; Javier ran towards the both of you and before you could react he kneeled in front of Lia, already forgetting everything about himself.

“God, you look huge.” he let out with wide eyes and a surprised quirk. You drowned a chuckle.

“Well, hi, asshole.” Lia let out, Javier let out a chuckle and put his big hands on Lia’s belly, marveled at how soft yet how hard it was, he looked at you with a soft smile.

“Hi, baby.” he muttered, Lia smirked, covering one of his hands with her own.

“Hi, love,” you replied, leaning to kiss his forehead, he moved his head to reach your lips “we have a baby in there.” you smiled at him.

“No, I have a baby in me.” Lia corrected, Javier turned at her and rolled his eyes, incorporating to kiss her.

“Well, is it a boy?” Javier asked, turning his brown, wide, shiny eyes to the baby bump, feeling a gentle kick right below his hand.

“No,” you smiled, “it’s a girl.”

“Thank fucking god.” he sighed out, leaning down to press his cheek to Lia’s belly, you put a hand on his shoulder and he smiled at you.

Javier never thought he would be a father, but in between visits to Colombia, you and Lia had talked about having a baby, there was something inside both of you that made you want to have a mini person running around both your legs, someone that looked like either of you and Javier, someone that could be the embodiment of the huge love you had shared.

So, one day, while talking to Javier over the phone, you mentioned to him that you were thinking about having a baby. At first Javier thought both of you wanted to get pregnant at the same time, and you had laughed it off; you hadn’t decided who was to carry it, but you knew you wanted it.

Javier asked to think about it for a while, ponder it and sleep on it; he knew, by looking at Steve and Connie with Olivia, that being a parent wasn’t easy, and although he always thought kids were something he could only see from afar, he didn’t hate the idea of a little person calling him dad; so he called you both and told you he was in, you offered yourself to do it but Lia immediately said no. Javier had laughed at the response but agreed with her; you didn’t fight it, they had a fierce, almost overprotective grip over you, and Lia didn’t want to see you lose your mind and drown in hormones, so she was the one that had her implant removed and on the next visit to Colombia, she was the one getting almost all of Javier’s cum.

The pregnancy announcement came several weeks later, once you were back in Houston, Javier lost his words over the phone and you and Lia had waited for him to say anything for almost three minutes. But he was happy, happier than he had ever felt.

You and Lia had dealt with the pregnancy on your own, Javier’s work grew heavier and more dangerous than before so he cut the visits and didn’t let you travel down anymore. You understood, but you were dealing with a pregnant, grumpy, horny woman by yourself, and you would’ve been lying if you said you didn’t need him by your side.

But, even when his suspension came out of nowhere for you, it was also sort of a blessing; because you both thought he wouldn’t be there with you when the baby was born, but he was, he was back home and about to become a father.

Literally at any time.

You had driven with him back to Houston after a few days with Chucho to get ready for when Lia gave birth and the convivence fell down as always, domestic bliss wasn’t the goal but it was there.

Javier was sitting on the coffee table, rubbing Lia’s feet one night after dinner while you took care of things around the kitchen and threw names to the air; choosing the name for the baby was exhausting, hard work, with three parents looking for something meaningful and fighting over pronunciations and spellings.

“What about Jenna?” you let out, Lia growled.

“My highschool bully was named Jenna.” she said, you chuckled, Javier narrowed his eyes and threw his gaze to the floor as he rubbed Lia’s toes.

“And Lisa?”

“Too short.” she replied. You hummed in thinking.

Javier had received a call that morning; he was offered a new job in Colombia, a new assignment to catch another cartel; a new job and a promotion.

“Lily!” your voice sounded afar.

“Uhm, nah.” Lia’s voice did too.

Javier glanced at the baby bump and he knew the job would do a lot for his daughter, he knew, somehow, that that time the work wouldn’t take long, he knew he could do it, he knew he had it in him; but he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave you and Lia and his baby alone again, not after spending almost six years away from his home, with a long distance relationship that although worked, wasn’t enough, surviving out of one week trips every six months, he didn’t know if he had that in him.

“Luisa!” you said, falling next to Lia on the couch, Lia gasped.

“I like it.” she replied and you clapped a few times.

“Javi, do you like it?” you asked him, bringing him back to reality.

“Huh?” he blinked a few times, Lia narrowed his eyes at him.

“The name.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” he let out lowly, nodding a couple of times.

“What’s going on?” Lia asked, having felt his insecurity.

“Nothing.” he replied, taking her foot off his lap and taking the other one on.

“You’re lying.” you let out, searching for his eyes.

“Yeah,” he sighed out, “they offered me a job.” he let out.

“That’s good, right?” you asked, looking at Lia, she shrugged.

“It’s in Colombia.” he muttered.

“No.” Lia let out. You frowned at Javier, Lia took her foot off his lap as quickly as she could.

“You’re going back?” you asked him, already feeling a knot in your throat that was making it hard for you to breathe.

“Wait.” he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Javier Peña if you go back to that place,” Lia said with her hardened voice, trying to stand up from the couch, “I swear to God you will not meet your daughter.” Javier closed his eyes and damned the time he just let it out before explaining the whole thing.

“Are you gonna leave us again?”

“Let me explain.” Javier stood up from the coffee table.

“You can’t leave!” you yelled out, standing up as well and helping Lia off the couch.

“Listen to me,” Lia admonished “we waited for you, Javier!”

“Let. Me. Explain.” Javier pointed out.

“Explain what?” you asked him, hiding behind Lia as she waddled towards him.

“You are not leaving us alone again,” she shoved her finger on his chest “I’m about to explode, idiot!”

“Listen to me, silly woman!” he raised his voice to Lia and then looked at you “listen,” Lia was about to reply to him, but you saw his eyes shiny with unshed tears, so you put a hand on her shoulder and she took a deep breath, “I want you to come with me.” he let out.

“What?” you let out, frowning, confused.

“After Luisa is born, come with me,” he looked at the both of you, you turned to Lia and then back to him “I don’t wanna miss you anymore,” he dropped his eyes to Lia’s belly “I don’t wanna miss her.”

“Fuck you, Javier.” Lia let out, her lip pouty. She rolled her eyes and stepped slowly towards him.

“Please.” he whispered, inches away from her, she nodded, Javier kissed her and raised his hand for you; you took it and he pulled you to him.

“We better work on our spanish, then.” you whispered to them, Javier leaned to kiss you with a smile on his lips.

let me know if you wanna be removed :)

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#javier peña #Javier Pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña x reader x ofc #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #thruple fic #narcos #narcos netflix #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal #pedro pascal characters

[honkhonkrichard]

Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil.  If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT:  "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!"  "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR  page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).

#anyways #Stan #stanley uris #Stan uris #mine #Murder Theory #honktheory #thats a tag now I gues ?? #pw #analysis #meta

[dl4draws]

okay so here is my little bullet point story for the httyd au lol, hope you guys like it

love amongst the dragons

this is a zuko centered au but the story actually begins with how sokka got foof

sokka and hiccup are one no one can change my mind

the swt hunts dragons because dragons hunt them, same thing as httyd

so basically the httyd storyline isn’t zuko’s story but sokka’s

he shoots foof (sprinkle of saber tooth moose lion mixed with night fury, mostly changing the size and teeth – foof would look almost exactly the same as toothless but is taller, has bigger legs, is bigger in general and well the saber tooth of course – also night furies aren’t extinct!)), not because he cant actually participate in the hunting, he’s perfectly allowed, but he creates these machines and people are like just use a spear like the rest of us lol

he shoots the saber tooth night fury down and no one believes him so he’s like “okay fuck it im gonna go find it”

he does indeed find him, foof is too cute, sokka instantly loses the battle, he doesn’t wanna fight dragons anyway

he keeps foof a secret until katara one day sees sokka sneaking away while she’s practicing water bending (the war doesn’t exist, there’s just problems in the fire nation – so the SWT is full of people)

katara is like sokka what the fuck are you doing

sokka cant lie to katara, he can charm anyone else but not katara,, sisters are charm proof

anyways events of httyd proceed to happen

sokka learns how to fly, learns stuff in general about dragons

katara is kinda like the astrid but she’s like confused at the beginning bc sokka’s getting too good at handling dragons and she’s sus

they both get good with dragons after that

until they find another dragon when they were flying around

a Very Large tm dragon

basically a water dragon, inspired by the unagi but from the south pole, it can leave the water but it prefers to live in the deep ocean

katara loves her, she starts “practicing” water bending at a special spot so one can find her, only sokka and her know where it is since they found it while flying

blah blah blah the swt proceeds to have a happy ending and everyone gets a dragon

the swt starts a life with dragons this time and they believe they are the only ones doing this (aside from the air nomads) (there is no war so aang is born 100 years later)

BACK TO ZUZU

Crown prince zuko and soon to be chief of the swt sokka are penpals, they’ve met eachother once or twice, sokka never tells him about the dragons

The fire nation has few dragons left

The fn is the birthplace of all dragons, but they have very little dragons now, they hunt them for fun

It is a ritual for the crown prince to kill a dragon and bring to the palace its heart

ozai is aware that there’s only one dragon left in their territory and the last dragon nest is weeks away

he sends zuko anyway and zuko goes, but he really doesn’t want to kill a dragon

he finds one, he goes through all that same stuff sokka (hiccup) went through with “he looked just as scared as I was” so he lets the dragon free, the dragon isn’t hurt so he can fly away but he doesn’t

he knows zuko won’t do anything to harm him so he stays with him

zuko doesn’t know wtf to do so he does what he knows always sets him in the right direction

he writes sokka a letter and tells him exactly what happens, about the dragon (his name is druk obviously) and how he doesn’t have any idea about what to do, he hopes sokka can reply as soon as possible and if he has time he can come to the fn and help him, he’s an engineer right? He can help him build stuff for druk, right??

He sends the hawk with the letter, knowing it’ll reach sokka in about week, since he’s farther south right now, so he expects sokka’s answer in two weeks

He most definitely is not expecting sokka to get there a week later riding a dragon the color of the night sky, you’d think the dragon was black if it wasn’t standing under the sunlight

Zuko hasn’t seen sokka in a few years, so he’s not exactly the same as he was back when they were still 19 (they’re 21 and 22 now)

Sokka isn’t expecting to see zuko with a supposedly extinct dragon when he gets there tho

He’s fascinated by druk (also zuko looks very pretty)

Sokka teaches zuko everything he knows about dragons, how to fly them, how to treat them, everything (they’re like little dates but they don’t mention that, they’re buddies tm)

Zuko comes back to the fn and he finds out that ozai is planning to wipe out the last nest, so zuko tries to stop him

And ozai lashes out so druk appears to protect him, and ozai is like oh bitch you’ve done it now and his little army is about to attack both zuko and druk when sokka and foof (both were hiding there in the palace) do a sneak attack and get them both out

Azula sees all of this from the shadows (this is important)

Zuko and sokka grab some stuff and leave the fn

They fly to the swt, zuko’s nervous about ozai’s plan but sokka knows that once they get home and set up a plan he’ll be okay

Once zuko lays eyes on the swt he goes holy fucking agni and sokka laughs so hard he almost falls off foof

The swt is built to house dragons and such, it really is a sight to see

They make a plan and basically go all out, the swt and the air nomads are good buddies, so aang is there with his cloud jumper (appa!!!!! Flying bisons exist but they’re like very important to the air nomads and people don’t ride them, they just vibe)

Aang is the avatar, so he has a deep connection with alpha dragons (the bewilderbeast)

They all make a plan, and they start flying to the fn, katara takes her big ass unagi like dragon, but she goes underwater with aang following her from the skies (they’re trying to find an alpha to ask for help)

They get to the nest before the troops, and stand their ground

It seems like they’re about to lose when katara appears with her dragon, the cloud jumper and aang in the avatar state on top of an alpha

The battle ends quickly after that and zuko and sokka are like !!! we did it and they share a sweet little kiss bc I say so (currently listening to coming back around and it’s making me emotional)

Azula appears after all this in sokka’s room (he’s staying at the fn palace for a bit to help the fn get adjusted to the new dragon rules) sokka hasn’t gotten the chance to talk to azula much, but he knows she isn’t opposed to dragons (or that is what it looks like)

His answer comes in the form of azula actually asking him for help, because she’s been hiding two dragon eggs for about two years

Sokka’s like!!!!!!!!!! Yes I can help!!!

She takes him to the eggs and he realizes that he hasn’t seen those types of eggs before but the coloring of the egg indicates that they are fire nation born dragons (they’re bright orange at the top and dark red at the bottom)

He asks if she found them near a volcano and azula’s like, hm yes but are you aware this palace is IN a volcano, and sokka’s like oh yeah right, and he tells her those are most likely dragons that live inside volcanoes and they like extremely hot temperatures so she should keep them near lava or with constant heat

Azula takes note of everything, and she starts going to sokka if she needs advice with her dragon eggs

Azula: how long until they hatch? Sokka: you gotta wait, depending on the dragon they can take from 2 to 5 years to hatch Azula: hm okay

Time passes, zukka dancing and singing to the dancing and the dreaming is all I need in life (will draw tomorrow)

Anyways yes sokka and zuko start living their best life riding their dragons under the moonlight and early in the mornings watching the sunset from between the clouds the end <3

#love amongst the dragons #hehehehehhe #yes #zukka #atla #delfi talks

[kylosgenesis]

Teardrops on Fire

Synopsis:

Steve Rogers is the last Alpha of the an almost extinct Lycan pack. With only less than 100 members left. Steve must produce an heir to ensure the species survival and reduce the chance of attacks from others. Omegas are rare, and betas have a hard time producing children. Steves reality is finally setting in as his obligation of producing an heir faces a major set back.

Reader is the last suitable omega to mate with Steve, due to the fear of her daughters fate in the pack, her mother kept her hidden from the pack after her own exile. Only her mother, and Bucky's family know of her existence. Bucky is Steve's right hand man, and the packs best warrior! He and the reader developed a friendship and bond over the years, but age forced them to become distant.

What happens when she presents and her first heat cycle comes? Her body is in excruciating pain and a strong fever quickly overcomes her body. Facing the fear of her daughters possible death, her mom calls on the only person who can save her at this point, Alpha Steve! Bucky and the alphas friendship will be tested. The reader will be faced with her love for Bucky or her duty to the pack.

Authors note: unbeta’d . Things will start getting really good in the next two chapters! So just hold on tight, and enjoy the ride. This chapter kinda short, and there is a lot of fluff! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 6: Runaway

You kept having the same nightmare every night! Ever since you came to Nat’s place, you woke up with a feeling of fear.

In your nightmare you saw Bucky covered in blood, but the blood wasn’t his. You never got a chance to see before you woke up in a cold sweat and chills. The first few nights nat didn’t notice when you’d sneak out.

You missed everything about the place you called home! You would run around the village, and just watch in the dark as lights light up through windows, and people got ready to start their days. It had become your little escape! Running reminded you of the wind on your face while hunting, and the adrenaline of a good catch.

On the 4th night you noticed Natasha was up when you walked over to the door. She knew how hard the transition was for you so she just let you do your thing.

You hadn’t seen Steve or Bucky since that day, you where glad you hadn’t had to face them yet, but it made you uneasy!

You still felt Bucky, sometimes he was closer other times more distant.

Returning home from your jog, you found a parked car! The sun still wasn’t fully up yet, so you wondered why someone might be here this early.

As you opened the Emerald door into Nat’s home. You where caught off guard by the smell of an alpha, it was significantly different from Bucky’s scent, but still strong, and commanding! Even though you missed Bucky’s smell, whoever this was had you waltzing towards the scent.

Steve was in the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee surrounded his already amazing smell. There was eggs on the pan, and bacon sizzling in the oven.

You looked around to try to find Natasha, but she was nowhere in sight.

You only knew Steve from the small glimpse of that day, and by spoken word.

You hoped he’d turn around and notice you before you had to say something. You kept your hands crossed around your body as you walked towards the counter.

As if on cue he turned! You noticed he no longer had a beird, and his longer locks had been trimmed into a neat haircut. He looked handsome!

You heard his trust clear ” Hey! ... Natasha had to go to the pub early, so I thought I’d surprise you with breakfast when you woke up.” He looked at your running clothes, and the lightly soaked hair strands in your face “ I see you beat me to the waking up part” he chuckled to himself.

You could tell he was nervous!

You fumbled with your ponytail and placed your hands over your chest again “ Yeah... I couldn’t sleep so I went on a run! I hope you don’t mind! “ You didn’t know if he was comfortable with the thought of you running around while smelling like Bucky.

But he let out a lighthearted smile “ Not at all! Im glad you’re making yourself at home.

The sound of a timer went off. “Ohhh shoot! I almost forgot...” He turned around pulled the tray of bacon out of the oven.

Everything smelled absolutely delicious! In your 20 years of life, you hadn’t had so many combined foods in your life. You where almost salivating by the time Steve placed a plate of food in front of you.

”I hope this is okay with you? ...you don’t have to ... I’m sorry... I’m really nervous right now!” He placed his hand behind his neck and scratched his head “ I’m Steve! We haven’t properly met”

“I know! I’ve heard about you a lot! Good to put a face to the man” you kept your stance lowered, still threading carefully with him. After all he was an alpha, and if he was anything like his father, looks could be deceiving!

You redirected your focus towards the food to avoid the awkward tension between you two.

“This looks absolutely delicious! You didn’t have to, I could’ve just...”

You looked up and saw his deep blue eyes staring at you, he looked like he was waiting for you to evaporate in front of him. He was attentive, but he also had a tenderness to him to him. You didn’t know why you relaxed! But you started eating, , and stole a few glances here and there.

“I wanted to...I thought maybe I could show you around? I don’t know if you’ve seen much of the place yet outside of early dawn. If you’d like?”

“I...” You wanted to! But your body kept telling you no. He wasn’t your Alpha, you wanted your alpha. It was hard for you to admit how much you missed Bucky. The last days of your heat where spent smelling like him. Your body reacted to his smell in ways you hadn’t experienced before.

But yet here was Steve. You had to admit he was extremely attractive! You caught yourself eyeing the muscles under his tight shirt, and his blue eyes where about to burn right through your soul.

You didn’t know if you where nervios around Steve because of who he was, or because he was making your heart skip three beats every time he looked at you.

“I would love to!” You tried to hide all your thoughts behind a genuine smile, whatever happened you had to make things work with Steve. Even if Bucky owned most of your thoughts, this was new, and exiting for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky’s POV:

He had been on a mission since that day! After he got to his house he immediately collected his things, and took off to the Wakandan pack. He hadn’t even settled in from his last mission, and he was already out on the road again. This time he had more on his mind, and more at stake.

He’d been helping the Wakandan’s build some watchtowers, and some safety points around their property, in order to adquiere a favor from the coven, he’d have to work for it. T’challa was more than kind to provide him a place to stay for the few days.

They where more technology advanced than their pack back home, T’challa’s sister Shuri had attended one of the best universities in the world. It wasn’t often that they allowed people like them in the human world. So when she came home after graduation at 16 she made sure she used her knowledge for good. It was thanks to her he was alive. His arm was a gift! He didn’t even know how to repay them for giving him a second chance.

They where sitting on the roof of one of the lookout towers, just taking a break, and enjoying the scenery. This place had been a great comfort to him after his accident. That’s why he was the one to come for a favor, and not Steve! He’d become family over the years, and the Wakandan’s treated him with as much respect as they’d treated their own Alpha.

Back in the day Shuri had expressed an interest in him! He felt bad seeing her face light up when he talked to her, back then he was too broken to let anyone in. So they just became really good friends, and eventually she outgrew her crush!

She was still the one person he could trust to tell anything to. That’s who’s shoulder he’d cried on the night he arrived under torrencial rain smelling like his omega.

“I don’t think you should go through with this!” Shuri was reading into his silence. She knew what had been bothering him since he arrived!

He thought he was doing what was best for his mate, but really he was running away from her. He didn’t know how to approach her. He had left his mate alone!

He wanted to be with her every day, his body called to her. He could feel her! Every night he dreamt of blood! He kept having a nightmare he couldn’t shake off. It scared him!

“I have to! It wasn’t supposed to be me!” He responded to Shuri, but still kept his gaze set on the horizon.

“Steve’s, a better fit for her!” He turned to face Shuri’s soft expression “I have nothing to offer her. I broke her heart once! I don’t wanna do it again!”

Shuri grabbed his flesh’s hand on hers

“Our ancestors believed if a mating happens its because it was predestined by the great gods... you mating her first was no coincidence my friend!”

“Its too late!” He lowered his gaze to his hand.

“White wolf! What did you do?”

She replied with shock in her voice.

He hesitated to answer as he pushed himself to stand up “ They agreed to undo the mating, and I already gave my blood on it. “ Shuri looked at him with concern.

“You already made a deal with the witches?... have you gone mad? You should’ve waited for me first, or T’challa. Those witches can be tricky.”

They both where avoiding the next part. They just walked in silence back to the main house.

“What did you sacrifice?” Shuri

finally asked. He was caught by surprise by her question.

“I don’t know yet! They didn’t say! They want to meet her first.”

He looked back at her as they paused in front of the house. The doors already opening In automatic to allow them easy entrance.

He didn’t go in, instead he just kept his gaze down. “I’m going home tonight! I’ll be back for the full moon. That’s when the ritual will take place!”

She was concerned for both of them, her pack knew the witches way too well! No magic ever came easily.

“Careful! They’re ancient magic users! You never know what kinda sacrifice blood magic demands”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Steve had been walking around the village for a while. You stopped at a small building, most rooms where empty but one had a few desks. Entering further you saw some kids drawings and the room came alive with so many colors. As you looked around you heard running come towards you. Steve didn’t looked scared so it didn’t alarm you when a set of boys no order than ten ran into the room, followed by a girl around half their age.

“Steve!” They ran and tackled him. He let himself be through down by the kids embrace.

You noticed a woman walk in after them, like Nat she had red hair, only hers was a lighter shade. Her eyes where blue and kind.

“kid’s, what have I told you about manners? ”

She put her hands on her waist, as she waited for the kids to answer.

“Sorry Mrs. Maximoff! ” they all responded simultaneously as they stood up from the floor, with Steve following along, shaking some dust off of himself.

“Come on Wanda don’t be hard on them! They’re just exited! “

Wanda looked at the kids, and Steve.

“You are all lucky Mr. Rogers is here! Now go to your desks, and finish those math worksheets I handed before lunch! “ the kids ran to the desks, and started working.

“I don’t know how you do it Steve, but they love you!” Wanda approached Steve with a smile. He took her in for a hug and then tuned to you.

“This is Wanda! She’s a teacher here at the school, and a close friend of mine” he smiled so much when he talked. It made you feel like you had knows everyone he’d introduced in a deep and personal way.

“Nice to meet you Wanda!” You went to shake her hand, but she immediately pulled you into a hug.

You had never had this much human contact, but you felt so welcome! The whole village had treated you with such kindness so far. You wandered if it was truly you or just cause you where with Steve.

“You like kids?” You asked while making small stalk

“Yeah! We don’t have a lot of them around anymore, but I like seeing them! They give me hope.. I guess?” He kept walking with you, hands tucked in his pockets “ I actually help teach from time to time! We have around 15 kids, all different ages! Trust me! It gets hard to handle them as they get older” he chuckled and looked at you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one said anything about the bite scar on your neck. Even if they noticed, Steve shook it off easily, and changed the subject before it started.

“Can they smell me ?” You asked as you headed into the vintage looking building.

“They can!... it’s faded, but anyone that’s been around Bucky can tell!” he paused as he looked at you, hands placed over your shoulders. “ No one here will judge you for it! Bucky did what he had to do to save your life and where going to fix it I promise”

You nodded, as he opened the door and the room came to life in front of you. It was beautiful! The walls where filled of vintage art, the place had enough that room to orient yourself, but dark enough to relax. It smelled of chocolate and honey combined. You spotted Nat behind a bar, a collection of bottles behind her!

“Hey guys! How was the date?” Nat was drying a small glass, and winked at Steve as she spoke.

“It wasn’t a date Nat, I was just showing her around” he looked at you, shoulders hunched, and blush on his cheeks.

Nat had embarrassed him! You could see Nat’s satisfaction on her face as she lined up glasses in a row on a drawer.

You decided to make Steve feel better, by responding “It’s been wonderful! Everyone’s been very kind” Steve looked relieved!

“Nat, I thought you said you had a small pub, this place is huge!” You said as you tuned into a circle admiring every detail of the place. “It looks lovely!”

“Well it feel small once you get used to it!” She was juggling multiple tasks at once, reaching for a box over her head

“I got it!” Steve replied and jumped to her aid.

“Thanks, I don’t know why he insists of storing stuff up there. Just because he’s tall, doesn’t mean I’m tall! ” she stated back at Steve as he handed her the box.

“That’s Bucky for you!” Steve replied, thinking nothing of it.

Your eyes lit up at the mention of his name. Both Steve and Nat noticed how your expression changed.

“He helps run the place whenever he’s home! He’s one of my best bartenders... with him being out of town I’ve been juggling everything the best that I can”

“I think you’re doing great!” Steve replied

“And I think you should pick up bar tending as one of your hidden talents “ she replied back with a sassy attitude.

You looked around the place! It didn’t seem so bad, you had to find something to do to keep yourself busy.

“I could do it!” You spoke, both Steve and nat turned the heads towards you in shock.

“I mean” you stumbled with your words as you felt both their stares on you” ... I can help you here if you’d like? I’m a quick learner!” Natasha looked at Steve as if awaiting for approval.

Steve was a bit hesitant, but looking at your hopeful puppy eyes immediately made him want to make you happy. “I think that you’ll be a great idea!”

You made a little happy jump at the news.

“ You can join me tomorrow when I come open, and I’ll start you off on getting familiar with the place.” Nat was wiping her hands on her pants as she spoke. A smile on her face!

“Thank you Nat!” Steve leaned over the counter for a hug. You stayed close behind him.

“Well, it’s getting late so I’m going to take her back now! I hope it’s not a wild night for you” he told her as he turned to leave

Nat yelled back at him from behind the counter “ You just jinxed it!” as she threw a towel at him. He tossed it back playfully!

“See you at home, Nat! ” you waved goodbye.

As Steve tugged on the pub door to leave, it opened from the other side.

A fall frame came into view, and your heart missed a beat. Your eyes met Bucky’s for the first time since that day. After a few seconds, your heart tugged at your strings. He noticed Steve, and walked past you towards the bar.

@dottirose @tanyaherondale @iloveshawnieboi @marmite79 @austynparksandpizza @nerdgirljen @exposition-belongs-somewhere @patzammit @connie326 @blessedwedgie

#bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes #alpha bucky x omega reader #alpha bucky #alpha steve rogers #alpha steve x omega reader #omegaverse #alpha bucky barnes

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #aelwyn abernant #WHO LET ME WRITE ALL THIS #does this even. fucking. make sense. who knows. #THE BRAINROT THE BRAINROT THE BRAINROT

[diyeoracha]

fanfic recommendations

for @kittensocute bc i heard “atsukita” and “iwaoi” in reference to fanfiction and i am There

i took your “i love slow burn or slow build fics... so i like relatively shorter burn fics (20-30k). If its a 10k oneshot slow burn hELL SIGN ME UP” and absolutely ran with it.

i listed my fav iwaoi fics (17) with a longer word count (longest is 80k) that are all mostly either canon compliant or divergent with only two straight up AUs. none of them feature heavy nsfw content and most if not all are tagged as friends to lovers lmao. feel free to read the my thoughts or just go into them blind!! and they’re all in order of how much I absolutely adore them :^)

now atsukita is not a big ship *sobs* but here are some of my favorite fics (7) of them! a lot of them are shorter bc i guess that’s just. what happens when it’s a small ship LOL. 

the formatting in this is fucked if you open it from ur dash but if it’s on my actual blog it should be fine!

Iwaoi

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

thoughts: my absolute absolute absolute favorite iwaoi fic. the characterization, the fact that oikawa’s a bastard but because he and iwaizumi are older (late 20s i believe), it feels more realistic and sad rather than oikawa being a bitch for the sake of it. spoiler alert it’s slow burn and pining and mostly oikawa not realizing his feelings. this world building is pretty cool bc iwaizumi is the professional player while oikawa is an entomology professor! also i love non-linear narratives bc of This fic. there’s mutual pining in this fic but it’s really really really subtle to the point where you dont even know if oikawa likes iwa. this made me cry like twice.

sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

thoughts: the tone in this is So similar to the courtship ritual that I liken this as an alternate story even though it’s still oikawa’s pov. professional player oikawa and regular guy iwaizumi and oikawa is just. bumming around at iwaizumi’s place and naturally he messes up but things happen.

told before and told again

word count: 4k

thoughts: i looked through literally all the tags i could’ve thought of for this and nearly cried when i found it agian. outsider POV!!

In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

thoughts: oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and they blur the line between roommates/best friends and being fwb. this is an iwaizumi pov and the pining is obvious on his end. as a iwa stan the tone made me feel weird bc it makes it seem like iwa cares more abt oikawa than he cares abt himself but. its a good fic

i grew up, you grew down

word count: 19k

thoughts: this is also SO funny bc basically oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and becomes his stay at home wife and a bunch of shit happens like people think that oikawa is dating ushijima and oikawa basically loses it every time. here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Oikawa also bought a new ultra-strength vacuum cleaner he’d decided to name Ushiwaka out of sheer spite, because it sucked all the air right out of the room. Iwa-chan didn’t think the joke was that funny when Tooru told him, which was frankly very hurtful and insensitive.”

Mint

Word count: 19k

thoughts: iwaizumi is moving and oikawa planned a perfect last hangout and it goes to shit featuring matsuhana. oikawa pov where he pines more than iwa which is something i can get behind!! and this was written in 2015 and iwa’s moving bc of a sports medicine program so iwaizumi stans know and love him sm ;;

Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

thoughts: same premise as mint LOL except they’re on a trip together and there’s more non-linear narrative!! this one is a little more mature in tone than mint i would say (funny how people just like splitting them up and throwing them in different countries huh)

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates and they’re both obviously and really pine-y for each other and everyone sees it but them. srsly. they’re sleeping in the same bed. like my god

Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women’s volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

thoughts: so funny. so sososoosso genuinely funny. the tone is so snappy and iwaizumi honestly just sounds like a confused teenager (which he is in this) and it gets extra points for including a lot of american culture that a lot of the other iwaoi college au ones don’t include for like. obvious reasons lol.

Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates thats abo but it’s like. mentioned twice. whiny and possessive oikawa makes an appearance in this but it’s done really well

things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he’s in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only for a little while.)

thoughts: high school getting together!! my second iwaoi fic ever and this one is just. so sweet. just an unsure oikawa realizing iwaizumi might be more than someone he wants as a best friend. this fic is honestly really really lovely.

galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

thoughts: ok this fic was so funny. theyre uni roommates and matsuhana just come fuck shit up and they all act like idiots together even though they go to different schools. and this really throws me back to university days.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

thoughts: pro! oikawa and iwaizumi haven’t been close for a while until oikawa invites iwaizumi to go to the games with him. there’s a lot of frustration and pining and actually talking about feelings (aka iwaizumi losing his mind and getting advice from people like akaashi)

when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

thoughts: this was actually my first iwaoi fic which is funny bc the author doesn’t even like oikawa much and i didnt even ship anything in haikyuu before i read this fic and now im in iwaoi hell. oikawa is really frustrating in this in that it’s basically a really good character analysis on how oikawa comes off as a Mean person all the time bc he’s manipulative and there’s some explicit content

shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates with oikawa admitting his feelings first back when they were in middle school and iwaizumi putting that thought on the backburner until. obviously. things happen.

Desperado

word count: 80k

thoughts: one of my favorite aus. it’s all from kyoutani’s perspective and it’s almost so au that they’re original characters (if that makes sense). basically iwaoi matsuhana are ex-grifters except iwaoi are estranged and daishou somehow brings everyone back together. excellent world building and reading the pov from someone not involved with the iwaoi drama was refreshing

sing with me a song of conquest and fate

word count: 26k

thoughts: a mythical kings au that’s just. so pretty. iwaizumi ends up becoming oikawa’s servant for some reason and the world building is a+ because you can feel the trust and frustration from both of them build

Atsukita

dreams of me and you

word count: 10k (incomplete)

my second atsukita fic that rly sent me down atskt hell ;; what is essentially post-break up when atsumu gets signed to msby and he’s just Pining and sad for the most part. but the established relationship pre-break up was written really nicely because it just fits my hc of them just being domestic and atsumu being blatantly head over heels

take me home

word count: 4k

i read this this morning and it wrecked me. domestic relationship atsukita?? sign me up

No time like the rest of my life

word count: 19k

mythology au with kita as a regular person and rest of inarizaki as fox spirits! it’s cute and the world building is absolutely lovely but it is an au so they might seem ooc but their core character values are still there

wild blue yonder

word count: 6k

literally full of similes and metaphors and it’s more of an abstract read i guess? but it’s so beautiful and soft and this is exactly how i imagine their relationship

reap and sow

word count: 8k

atsumu confesses and kita ignores him and it’s a couple years after the fact and it’s mostly just weirdly domestic almost roommate like except for the fact that atsumu makes it clear he likes kita LOL. they’re really in character for this!

weightless souls

word count: 2k

pillow talk before atsumu’s first game! the atsumu pov and voice is amazing

if we were both alone

word count: 7k

now this was actually my first atskt fic that sent me down this rare pair hell. it’s an explicit chat fic (both tropes i usually try to avoid) but atsumu types like me (except for the nsfw parts alksfjd) so i guess i like. feel appreciation LMAO.

if you do read like any of these fics pls let me know so we can discuss

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

#iwaoi #atsukita #i added some more on friday feb 19!