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#but I do believe in people
katsco · 9 months
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I believe in a universe that doesn’t care and people who do
People who care so fiercely about each other
People who are willing to do whatever to protect the people they love
People who love so freely and openly
People who do what’s right even if the world disagrees
People who believe so strongly in their morals they’ll fight for them
People who will fight for others just because it’s right
The universe is infinite and it doesn’t care about us
We are a mistake within the beauty of the universe
But not all mistakes are bad
The universe doesn’t care but people do and that’s what I believe in
A universe that doesn’t care but people who do.
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shesnake · 3 months
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full offence but I do NOT watch movies so I can "turn my brain off" I take this shit so seriously
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andthebeanstalk · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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acertainmoshke · 7 months
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I've been having a tough time lately, and when I don't have the energy for everything keeping up with social media is one of the first things I slip on. But I still care about all my writing buddies, so:
Reblog if you're not offended when people take a long time to answer asks, forget to reply to your replies, lag behind in tag games, or skip several weekly ask games.
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inkskinned · 5 months
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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
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toboldlymuppet · 2 months
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gripped by fear
my piece for dark waters, an op angst zine
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magnetothemagnificent · 9 months
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Literally every conversation with a colleague/peer in the academic field I'm in (anthropology, with a focus on human prehistory and human evolution) upon them learning I'm an observant religious Jew goes like this:
Person: "Sorry if this is a personal question, but how do you.... y'know......deal with it?"
Me: "Deal with what?"
Person: "Y'know...... y'know......your religion......"
Me: "Meaning?"
Person: "Well, um, how old do you believe the earth is?"
Me: "I follow the geological consensus, which is approximately 4.5 Billion years"
Person: "But......but.....your Bible says that it's 6,000 years old....."
Me: "Technically 5,783 years, so you're wrong there, haha"
Person: "Okay but how do you....how do you reconcile that with science?"
Me: "I don't need to reconcile it. They're not in opposition."
Person: "??"
Me: "The plain text in the Tanakh states that it has been 5,783 years since the creation of Adam, and consequently the world. Judaism has never been about taking the text in the Tanakh plainly, there's always deeper meanings. Who's to say that the 5,783 years aren't just the years since a couple named Adam and Eve met and copulated, triggering the begining of the lineage of Abraham, Moses, and the entire Jewish lineage, and that the six days of creation aren't six phases which are actually pretty in-line with our understanding of evolution?"
Person: "But.....some people believe that it's literally been 5,783 years since the earth was literally created!"
Me: "Okay..... that's what they believe. I don't see how it should bother me, especially considering we're in the field of anthropology where we try to study other patterns of belief, not cast judgement upon them."
Person: "But other Jews believe that!!!"
Me: "Again.....why should that affect my religious and academic senses of self? Judaism has never been a monolith of belief, anyway."
Person: "But-"
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crowleylesbian · 8 months
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“crowleys gonna reject aziraphale in s3🥺‼️” crowley would walk on his hands and knees 1000 miles through a desert of broken glass for just the chance to hang out with aziraphale. be serious.
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guppybycharlybliss · 12 days
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to be honest i kind of think a lot of the people who say really fearmongery things about how media literacy is "in decline" and how the younger generations are worse at dealing with "uncomfortable topics" than those before them are blinded by forced generational lines and their own nostalgia. our tragic and unimpeachable past youth in which we were innocent victims of the social climate around us vs their banal and doomed current youth in which they are hopelessly weak-willed agents of societal downfall. And they're stupider than us and uglier too.
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lokh · 20 days
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triviallytrue · 2 years
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Hey so I know the discourse is doing an end-run around this point, but I was curious about how to interpret your "American Football should never be played" post. Are you saying it should be banned, or legally discouraged? Or maybe it should be socially discouraged but legal for consenting adults? Or something else?
wasn't really a policy prescription, but at the bare minimum: shouldn't be an organized sport played by minors, shouldn't give people chances to get scholarships, and the NFL shouldn't exist
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redysetdare · 2 months
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All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.
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cometrose · 3 months
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zhongli is so fucking funny when hes avoiding people like venti last year and neuvillette this year he can’t catch a break he moves like they’re his ex husbands 😭
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