#but I have my own cipher of a character I obsess over so I thought this would be more charitable

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Forget personality types and horoscopes. The REAL measure of a person is which barely-seen character with almost no canon information you choose to obsess over.

#this was almost gonna just be a meme captioned with SHUT UP ABOUT MO XUANYU SHUT UP ABOUT MO XUANYU #but I have my own cipher of a character I obsess over so I thought this would be more charitable #(mine is Meng Shi) #(the logical progression from getting brainworms about Andromache from the Trojan War at age 15) #(and concocting multiple pages of backstory and worldbuilding for Annie Cresta in my Hunger Games era over a decade ago)

[spaceumbredoggos]

There has been a criminal absence of recent Yandere Bill Cipher x Reader headcanons, so I made some. Also, the tumblr folks eat this shit up. It’s hilarious. No one cares about my Kenz fic that I pour my heart and soul into, but when it comes to Yandere Bill, you thirst for the man. I am currently only taking headcanon requests (will elaborate later) because art takes forever to make.

All these HC’s also apply to Bill’s Relationship with my self insert OC. Just if they didn’t exist, like tumblr thinks they don’t. Please give So Much for Stardust the love it deserves. I’ll appreciate it.

Bill is very touchy feely to a criminal degree. (That’s as far as I’m gonna go because I don’t wanna have to put a content warning, and I don’t wanna come across as triggering. In my mind, it’s in line with Bill’s character to be that free candy van uncle.)

Does Bill possess Y/N? Does grass grow? Does a bear shit in the woods? That’s one of his favorite things to do. And he’s really good at covering his tracks. You bet your ass Y/N will wake up fucking wounded and sore from frequent possessions.

If Y/N dies, which would be pretty rare given Bill’s obsession, they’re gonna end up as a sinner in hell with their soul owned by Bill. Bill is higher than god himself on the hierarchy of my headcanoned Hellaverse if he did exist (which would be fucking hilarious, but given how much I hate Vivzie for various reasons, I doubt Hirsch would accept a collab since Vivzie has a heinous track record. My recent hyperfixation of the Hellaverse is clearly showing.) Bill would act almost like an overlord this way, and it’ll be sorta like a Val and Angel Dust relationship that’s written better. (I’m skirting around the most taboo parts of this to avoid triggering people including myself.)

Odds are, Y/N wouldn’t die. Bill has plans for them after all. So good luck avoiding his agenda of building a portal. Also, he’ll probably leave Alex Hirsch alone a lot, which may or may not lead to a drought in his Gravity Falls content. Bill’s likely to start a cult at this point to hunt Y/N down, specifically out of all those down bad fankids who’d let him do unspeakable things to them.

Bill will resort to all sorts of psychological torture. Maybe even projecting himself into your video games and other media that you delve into, with various alternate versions of himself (I’m glaring at you, Volo from Pokemon Legends Arceus.)

With every single fandom you hold dear tainted (and he’s gonna do a lot of unspeakable things to fandoms), you will be molded into serving him. If his interpretation from character AI taught me anything (which I no longer support) it’s that he needs total obedience from a slave and would stop at nothing to have that.

Good luck going off the grid to avoid him, because that’s when shit gets 100 times worse. With no contact with those you care about, he’d start driving you crazy. And if you managed the injuries he did to your body when he possessed it successfully, you won’t be able to manage any further injury that happens from your eventual insanity.

Bill has a blood kink times 11. He’ll do anything to make you bleed, but not bleed out. Blood and pain is what he feeds on.

He’s going to be speaking in Y/N’s head all the fucking time. He’ll be mixing his voice directly into Y/N’s own thoughts, taking over their entire fantasies, and quite possibly drive them to the point of dissociating in a psych ward for any sort of relief if they don’t build a portal for him to cross over.

This isn’t a scenario where Y/N is blind to all the red flags, and if it were, there’d still be nothing they could really do. Y/N is powerless, riddled with fear, and trying to flee and fight at any turn. Bill truly has them trapped from the moment he laid his possessive eye on them.

#gravity falls #bill cipher #bill cipher x reader #bill cipher x y/n #yandere

[tokiro07]

Martial Master Asumi ch.23 thoughts

[Building the Roster]

(Contents: Yuya analysis, Asumi analysis, character reactions, predictions)

This chapter felt a little awkward - not just because of how many characters were introduced at once, that's common enough during arc transitions like this, but more because the first half had both Asumi and Yuya narrating over each other

Aside from that, though, I did really like this as a setup chapter! Not only did my boy Sakura actively reinsert himself into the story really quickly, but we also actually got a little more insight into Yuya, who's been surprisingly unimpactful on the narrative despite being the one who dragged Asumi into MMA in the first place. It feels like he should be a bigger part of the story, and I'm hoping that his girlfriend leaving him will prove to be motivational for him to become a more central focus

His girlfriend was super mysterious though, wasn't she? All we got to see of her was some of her hair and her phone, which means one of two things: she's either completely unimportant, or she's extremely important. I'm willing to bet on the latter, either coming back later as someone antagonistic or related to someone else we've met in the story (or from Hinomaru Zumou?). If she doesn't come back, though, then I hope that she at least gives Yuya the push he needs to improve

Calling himself Sakura's rival when Sakura has shown to be an accomplished brawler and Yuya's never even been shown throwing a punch feels kind of conceited. I get that they're starting MMA at the same time and are formally the same level, but Sakura was using advanced techniques against Asumi on instinct, something I highly doubt Yuya is capable of. Of course, all of my impressions of Yuya come from the fact that he's spineless and keeps getting pushed out of the activities he enjoys and his lack of contribution to the plot, so there's plenty of room for him to surprise me

Yuya's girlfriend leaving him transitions nicely into Asumi's dilemma of wanting to pursue a relationship with Okiba; when Yuya wasn't looking, his girlfriend found someone else, and now Asumi is worried the same thing will happen if he doesn't act. This ties back into Asumi's earlier obsession with maintaining a C-average life, where he was unwilling to take risks because he didn't consider bettering himself to be worth the possibility of ending up worse off. This time, though, Asumi gets his wake-up call immediately, being confronted with someone who is actively trying to take Okiba from him. Worse, he does it while Asumi tries to passively fade from view, showing just how much Asumi himself has simply let life pass him by

Of course, this isn't the Asumi from the beginning of the story, this is the one that's come face-to-face with his brother and resolved to reach his level, so of course Asumi speaks up when he feels that Togari has gone too far, demonstrating his own transition from a passive to an active character

I do think it's funny that Sakura told Yuya to stop focusing on women and focus more on training like Asumi when, aside from fighting Kazuro, the reason that Asumi actually started doing MMA was because he instantly started simping for Okiba. Sure, Kazuro's his goal, but Okiba's his motivation; you think a kid like him would strive to improve so much if he didn't have a cute girl smiling at him? Maybe, but it helps!

Speaking of cute girls, did y'all see Hanagasaki??? A refined girl wearing padded gloves?? That's some contrast she's got there! And she looks to have a real rotten personality laughing at Okiba on their first meeting - anyone who reads my Cipher Academy reviews knows how Joey feels about nasty women like that, and I can't wait to see her fight! I wonder how Kawada's going to capitalize on her being a fencer...he always found fun ways to mix things like karate into sumo, so I'm excited to see if he pulls the same type of tricks here!

Her butler, Onda, seems like he's meant to be a parallel to Asumi, the type who's always on guard to diffuse bad situations, especially for the girl he likes. He definitely has something that Asumi doesn't though, something that will make him not just a parallel, but a full-on foil. We likely won't know what that is for some time, but we can tell he has it for one simple reason: like Kazuro the wolf and Amagaki the tiger, Onda is named for an animal that preys on rabbits - Takanori, the hawk. With a name like that, there's pretty much no way that he and Asumi aren't going to fight sooner or later

No thoughts on Togari yet, but I'm decently sure that he's going to be Asumi's debut fight, so I don't imagine I'll have to wait too long to have something to say about him. I'm much more interested in that stagehand at the end, though, the one lamenting that he doesn't have the same passions that our current cast has anymore. You don't draw attention to a character like that without them being relevant; is he a washed-up fighter? An old trainer? A producer? We'll have to wait and see, dang it!!!

#martial master asumi #fouryearsandananime #4y1a reviews

[evrensadik]

          𝐄𝐕𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐊 / 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐒

i. 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐊 ( asoiaf ) they are children, sansa thought. they are silly little girls, even elinor. they’ve never seen a battle, they’ve never seen a man die, they know nothing. their dreams were full of songs and stories, the way hers had been before joffrey cut her fathers head off. sansa pitied them. sansa envied them. //  “i’m a slow learner, it’s true. but i learn.”

ii. 𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 ( les misérables  ) critics have often considered cosette to be something of an empty figure, with no real independent character apart from the role she plays in the lives of others: as an innocent, hopeless child-victim to be exploited (for the thénardiers); a daughter to be protected (for fantine and valjean); and an object of adoration (for marius). stephanie barbé hammer writes that "having served her function as a paternalizing figure, cosette grows up into a silent, beautiful cipher". // "please don’t send me out alone, not in the darkness on my own."

iii. 𝐌𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 ( rebecca ) a timid, naïve, middle-class woman in her early twenties, who enjoys sketching. neither the narrator's first nor maiden name is revealed. she is referred to as "my wife", mrs de winter, "my dear", and so on. despite her timidity, she gradually matures throughout the novel, refusing to be a victim of rebecca's phantom-like influence any longer and becoming a strong, assertive woman in her own right. //  " i wish i were a woman of 36, dressed in black satin with a string of pearls!”

iv. 𝐌𝐀𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐘 ( westworld ) maeve is designed to be charming and perceptive. as the series progresses however, she becomes more aware of her reality, making her more manipulative. she uses her charms to coerce technicians felix and sylvester into giving her what she wants, including changing her initial programming so that she can control other hosts. using this skill, she becomes increasingly ruthless. // “all my life, i've prided myself on being a survivor. but surviving is just another loop.”

v. 𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐀 𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐃 (  casablanca ) adventurous, poised, reserved, and loyal. ilsa has a somewhat cool exterior; over the years, she has put up walls between her and others to protect herself. but isla can’t bottle up her emotions anymore. she is coming to a point where she must decide the life she wants to live. //  “i love you so much. and i hate this war so much.”

vi.𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐘 ( westworld ) dolores' scripted personality is defined by optimism and innocence. every morning in her loop, she awakes with a cheery disposition, takes her paints and easel downstairs and goes out on the porch to talk to her father. during the first season, she questions the world around her, and her outlook on life and sense of purpose evolve. however, she eventually becomes self-aware and discovers that her entire existence is an elaborately constructed lie. she begins to learn her own strength, breaking from her 'damsel in distress' role. // DOLORES, WHO HAD BEEN HURT COUNTLESS TIMES BY SO MANY PEOPLE IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, STILL CHOSE TO HOLD ON TO THE GOOD IN THE WORLD AND IN HUMANITY.

vii. 𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 ( aladdin ) she initially rejected her role as a princess because of the unethical requirements that come with the role, including being forced to remain within the palace at all times, forced to marry for political gain rather than love, and treated as a tool rather than her own person. // “i can’t go back to where i used to be.”

viii. 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐄   ( the good place ) his overwhelming knowledge of ethics often caused him to obsess over whether even his most insignificant actions were ethical. chidi is shown to be extremely receptive to guilt, likely as a result of his indecisiveness. // “i want to start crying.”

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ( thanks to the character test ) : juliet capulet ( romeo and juliet ), the little mermaid, kiara carrera ( outer banks )

#𝕰. — — 𝐄𝐕𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐊 . [ c. study ] . #long post cw

[spaceiez]

Chapters: 2/?

Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines Characters: Dipper Pines, Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Older Dipper Pines, Older Mabel Pines, Human Bill Cipher, Alcohol, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change Summary:

Sophomore year of college and Dipper is ready for new adventures! But, when there is an unexpected dorm room change, Dipper must face a new challenge, a (crazy?) roommate named Bill Cipher.

Chapter One:  Illnnzgv Xszmtv

Dipper felt his lips curve into a smile as he set one of his suitcases into the bright blue college moving cart. He stood back up and slid out a plastic bin, filled with bedsheets, blankets, a mattress pad, and his pillow, out of the car trunk. He plopped it into the moving cart with his black suitcase. The young man glanced up, smiling wider as he took in the large campus around him. Dipper could feel both the excitement of being back at college and the anticipation of starting a new year with new classes rising in his chest.

His pine tree trucker cap was suddenly shoved down in front of his line of sight, which jolted him from his thoughts, “Hey!” He whined, fixing the hat back to its proper place and brushing the hair from his eyes.

His twin sister grinned at him, giggling at his reaction, “Sorry, couldn’t help it bro. I have to let my energy and excitement out somehow!” She poked his arm as she danced around him.

Dipper laughed, “Okay, okay, how about you direct that energy into unloading your stuff from the car?”

Mabel patted Dipper’s shoulder thoughtfully, “Check-in isn’t for another five minutes, I got plenty of time.”

“You have four large bins, a mini-fridge, one suitcase full of sweaters, two suitcases full of other clothes, and another with dorm decorations,” he raised his eyebrow, “And...I’m pretty sure you have a duffle bag full of just gummy candy.”

Mabel shrugged, “Gummy koalas supply more energy.” Despite her words, she did start unloading her college bags into her moving cart, occasionally plopping a gummy candy into her mouth. Mabel pulled out a bag of stickers from her suitcase and smacked a glittery rainbow on one of Dipper's plastic bins, "BAP! Now your bin is stylish!"

"It's already stylish," Dipper smiled as he pointed to his bin. It already had a 'California' and 'film student' sticker on it. He shook his head and continued to unload his bags.

It was their second year in college at a well-known university in Los Angeles. The twins had always wanted to attend college there and as fate had it they were both accepted. They were also thrilled that they could experience college together as they had with middle and high school. Sometimes having your sibling around during new adventures was better than any best friend or significant other. Mabel was a second-year fashion and design student while Dipper was majoring in film and media studies. The kid dreamed of starting some kind of ghost hunting show or something that covered the supernatural. After spending their summers in Gravity Falls, where they were constantly exposed to the supernatural, Dipper became obsessed.

Dipper waved his hand towards his face as he began to sweat, “Gosh, why did our move-in date have to be one of the hottest days of the year?”

Mabel nodded, thankfully she had a loose, white cropped tank top on. It definitely helped with the heat. “Global warming. It’ll only get worse.” She frowned sourly, carefully setting her sweater suitcase in the cart.

Dipper nodded and handed her the car keys, “Hey, lock the car once you’ve got everything in your cart. I’m going to check into my dorm and start unpacking. I’ll say hi to Nick for you.” Dipper smiled at her and she responded with a salute.

Nick was a close friend from Dipper’s friend group he joined last year. They had similar majors and enjoyed many of the same tv shows, hobbies, and books so they decided to room together this year despite the common belief that ‘friendships get ruined that way'. There wasn’t really anyone else to live with anyway. And random roommates were a hit or miss.

As Dipper pushed his cart along the path to the dorm he happily took in the view around him. The college was pretty gorgeous with its Greek-like yet modern-style buildings. The pathways that led to the halls and dorms were surrounded by open green spaces. Most students liked to study there or just relax with friends. The large trees were also a nice touch. Dipper inhaled deeply; it reminded him of Oregon.

He came up to a long, modern-looking building that was around five stories tall. Vines crawled up the sides of the walls and some trees stood around the perimeter. ‘Smith’ was etched on the entrance. The brunette smiled up at it and proceeded to walk inside. Thankfully a gust of AC greeted him, much better than the outside heat. A young woman, either Dipper’s age or a year older, hurried over to him with a wide smile. She had highlighted brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and long eyelashes. The woman wore a blue shirt with loud yellow words, reading ‘Student Coordinator Team’ and carried a clipboard, probably full of welcome sheets or something of that matter.

“Hello there! I’m Annie, a student coordinator, here to help you with move-in! Can I get your last name?”

Smiling politely, Dipper nodded, “Pines. Dipper Pines. Thanks, but I already know I’m in room 128 with Nick Shasta.”

The young woman flipped through the papers attached to her clipboard, soon stopping and squinting at one of the pages, “Ohh.” She sighed through her nose, “I’m really sorry, but there were some issues with roommates and dorms and Housing had to make some last minute changes.”

Dipper blinked twice, his stomach flipping, “What? Changes? Why?”

She shrugged, “They were last minute, but you are now in room 918.” She glanced at her paper as if she needed to double-check, then Annie nodded. She handed him a keycard from a box that sat on the front desk. Dipper stuttered, “I don’t get it, why was my room changed? Does Nick know? Can I change back?”

She looked over Dipper’s face, which was already red from the heat, but now more so from the unexpected news. "You can email Housing Services, I’m sure they can help explain this better than me. I’m sorry.” She gave him an apologetic look.

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Okay, thanks. I guess. I’ll email them. Thanks.” He sucked at his lower lip, quickly pushing his moving cart past the girl and to the elevators, his head spinning.

Why a last-second change? Was Nick aware? The elevator doors opened and Dipper pulled the cart inside as he went through various scenarios in his head. His anxiety made it hard to process the situation. When the doors opened he arrived at the fifth floor. Dipper licked his dry lips and sighed. Just email Housing, text Nick. No big deal. No big deal.

Students lined the hall with their parents, unpacking their things and getting settled into their dorms. Others were chatting with friends, looks of giddy excitement on their faces. Some were crying and hugging their parents. 916...917...918. Dipper closed his eyes, trying to calm his racing mind before he met the person behind the door. Once the thoughts were as quiet as they were going to get, Dipper unlocked the door with his key car and pulled his cart inside.

The door shut behind him, closing Dipper off from the hallway. The room was larger than an average dorm room, having two twin-sized beds, two desks, two dressers, two large closets near the door, and room for a tiny kitchen area. Although one had to bring a microwave and mini-fridge. There was nice cupboard space which was a plus.

One side of the room was already set up. The twin bed was decorated in soft grey sheets, a fluffy black pillow, and a white comforter that sported yellow triangles. There were pictures hung over the wall above the bed. Some were of a group of friends and others were of odd subjects, like a random fork or tree.

Dipper turned his attention to the kitchen area. The individual had brought a mini-fridge and had decorated it in more triangles and other geometric shapes, this time the shapes were multiple different colors that formed a messy rainbow across the stainless steel door. On the person’s desk was a computer as well as a weird-looking plant, and a jar of…

“The fuck…” Dipper mumbled slowly, squinting to see if he was viewing the objects in the jar correctly.

Teeth. Different sizes and types of teeth filled the mason jar. Dipper blinked slowly, what the hell? He plopped down on the bare mattress on his side of the room and continued to observe the other side of the room as if it was a specimen itself. It wasn’t very messy, but there was an open box of Oreos and a can of beer on the dresser. Colored lights lined the sides of the ceiling and were flashing different colors. It was quite obnoxious actually.

Dipper groaned. Hopefully, he could move in with Nick after he sent an email to Housing because the person who lived on the other side of this dorm room was a freak. A freak who collected deer teeth and probably got drunk every night.

The dorm room door suddenly swung open and a young man lazily leaned against the doorframe as he looked over Dipper, a strange glint in his eyes. The man had different tones and layers of blonde hair, which caused it to be fluffy and stick out in random places. The freckles across his cheeks and shoulders complimented his sun-kissed skin nicely. His eyes were two different colors, one being a soft golden and the other a bright blue. Dipper didn’t have much time to take that in, because his already-stressed brain was focused on other key aspects about this guy. For one, he was wearing nothing but black shorts, not even shoes or socks. The second was that he had some nice abs. Shit, they were really nice abs. And the third, he held another jar of...something...in his hands

“I lost this bad boy in my car,” he wiggled the jar and whatever was in the inside bobbed around within the liquid solution, “took me ten minutes to find it. It was so hot outside, thought they might melt or something. Hell, I could have melted. Damn heat!” He laughed loudly which made Dipper flinch. The young man waved his hand in front of his face to cool off, “Bill Cipher by the way.”

A second later, the blonde tossed Dipper the jar. Dipper’s reflexes kicked in and he caught it in his hands, fumbling a little. He stared down at the jar to see what was inside and what was inside...stared back. The jar was full of real eyeballs.

Dipper shrieked.

#AO3 #Billdip #bill cipher #dipper pines #mabel pines #fanfic #fanfiction #gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #atwr #and they were roommates #college au

[revolutionary-pirate]

Comment from @therevwriter​:

I'm intrigued. Where does Mr. Bi Disaster come from? Everything I've read paints him as constantly obsessed with women. I'd be interested to explore some other sources, because the JPJ in my head is a womanizing asshole and I'm always open to having my opinions altered through new info.

There is potentially a lot to explore here. I’ve discussed some of these things at varying lengths on my blog in the past, but it’s been like 3-4 years ago at this point so I figure it wouldn’t hurt to have a more somewhat comprehensive overview on the topic of John Paul Jones, the evidence that he may have been bisexual, and his complicated relationship with trust, women, sex, and depression and how those all tie together into the well-deserved imagining that JPJ could be perceived as a womanizing asshole. I’ll ramble a bit. The fastest point to address here would be the bisexual one. I had never face palmed harder in my life than when I read Evan Thomas’ biography on John Paul Jones and he said that there was no evidence that Jones was Bisexual immediately after including an explicitly bisexual poem Jones wrote in Latin simply because there was ‘no concrete evidence that Jones actually slept with any men.’ (Thomas, 232.) After having repeatedly speculated the entire book that any women Jones so much as looked at, he also fucked with zero evidence to back up any of those wild claims. He couldn’t fathom the idea of a man being friends with a woman who named him the godfather of her child and him actually loving his god child. He basically said that the only way this was possible is if Jones was actually somehow the real father and I rolled my eyes so far back in my head it hurt. Sure Jones was kind of a slut but jesus. I thought about it more later and laughed so hard because Thomas on the subject was just the living embodiment of ‘a guy could write down in a diary that on x date at x time he had sex with another man’ and straight white male historians would still find a way to say “Well...” I counter, do we really need more evidence than the poem (linked here if you want to read a clunky translation of said semi-erotic poem) to speculate that there was a very real chance that Jones was Bisexual without dismissing it outright immediately as impossible?

(an aside: when you have a reputation for womanizing, no one would suspect a thing about you sleeping with men as well. Unfortunately his womanizing reputation made him easy to target and for people to believe the crime for, re: his time in Russia where he was framed by his political enemies for assaulting a young girl, a crime punished by beheading, the plot for which was just barely uncovered before Jones killed himself instead and then also the time Ben Franklin told Jones that while he was at sea a maid stole Jones’ clothes and assaulted another lady during a festival while dressed like him and the lady’s sons went on a man hunt looking for him.) It’s unfortunate that historians can easily explain any mlm tendencies at sea on just that: being at sea. But I do have to acknowledge that reality. As someone who is asexual I am well acquainted with the idea that action =/= attraction. And Jones, very explicitly, wrote that he’s just as comfortable being on both the giving and receiving ends of sex with men as he is with women (and I mean that, the poem also possibly suggests he’s down with getting pegged). On top of that, the poem was written in Latin. I’ve mentioned before that the likelihood that any of the people on board Jones’ crew would be in anyway well-versed in understanding Latin is... extremely unlikely. Most men who set out to sea were generally uneducated. he wrote a bisexual poem in the language of the gays that no one around him at the time would ever be able to understand should they have come across it.

When it comes to Jones and women, things get complicated. John Paul Jones is a tragic figure. He was his own worst enemy and on top of that, his life was a string of endless betrayal after betrayal by those he thought he could trust. He was paranoid by nature and that reinforced it, to the point of serious health complications caused by lack of sleep because he was too afraid of mutiny happening in his sleep. Ironically, he was also a terrible judge of character and easily blinded by flashy displays of wealth and empty flattery from attractive men, which burned him. People often used him and then tossed him aside. He suffered greatly for it. One of the examples of this that hurts me the most is that the man Jones trusted most during the AmRev was actually a British Spy. Jones considered Edward Bancroft to be his closest and most intimate friend and confidant. Jones never suspected Bancroft was feeding the British all of his plans and had even come up with a cipher for the two of them to communicate. The Battle of Flamborough Head that won Jones his fame was only possible because, just once, Bancroft... for some reason... decided not to snitch. Maybe he’d gone soft on Jones? Who knows. The reveal of Bancroft’s ultimate betrayal after the war was definitely one of the final straws for Jones, though. He never trusted again.

The reason why this is important to note is that one of my favorite quotes from Jones is one that’s revealingly honest about why it’s easy to see him as a womanizing asshole. A female acquaintance of his later in life confronted him on the matter, calling him out on how he prefers taking lovers over making friends. Jones then admitted “sad experience generally shows that where we expect to find a friend, we have only been treacherously deluded by false appearances.” (quote pulled from Thomas 303 because I can’t access the JPJ papers these days). As a very social man, Jones was probably starved for human contact but he isolated himself from people and refused to make friends he believed would inevitably betray him, settling for attempting to satisfy what was probably a deep seated longing for genuine human connection with strings of shallow dalliances (never able to trust enough to fall in love) that never filled the endless yawning void of his spiraling depression. (catch me crying in the club for the umpteenth time about Jones saying “I would have faced death a thousand times, but today I desire it” [quote pulled from the memoirs of diplomat Comte de Ségur]).

Jones is a thoroughly complex and intriguing disaster of a human being to study and he fascinates me to no end for that reason and I love reading about him and trying to peer between the lines at the shattered man underneath all of the peacocking and unsatisfiable ambition.

#John Paul Jones #i'd wait to post this till the 6th but why the hell not #might as well get an early start #continental navy #captain john paul jones #I didn't feel like spending time on properly sourcing instances cuz this is tumblr and I'm in grad school and its summer break so i'm lazy #but i can go more in depth and sourced about any topic I touched on in this post if asked

[illumynare]

How the Enneagram explains all of Ford and Stan’s problems

….well, most of them, anyway.

So in my ongoing quest to learn all personality typing systems ever, I’ve recently started reading about the Enneagram, and it struck me that Ford and Stan both fit extremely neatly into the system, and it provides a great framework for analyzing why these two idiots can love each other so much and yet continually hurt/trigger/drive each other crazy.

(descriptions taken from the Enneagram Institute website, not linked because apparently that means this post won’t show up in the tags??)

Stan: Type 2, “The Helper”

The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved Basic Desire: To feel loved

This is Stan in a nutshell: somebody who loves deeply and unconditionally, sacrifices himself without a second thought, but also easily becomes possessive, and whose “helper” actions are often in some way an attempt to earn people’s love. He rescues Waddles from the pterodactyl so that Mabel will stop being mad at him, and he rescues Ford from the portal hoping that will restore the relationship they had as children. It’s not that Stan doesn’t genuinely care about Mabel or Ford’s suffering, it’s just that, on some level, he’s always trying to earn the love of the people he cares about.

Ford: Type 4, “The Individualist”

The Sensitive, Introspective Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

Feeling vulnerable and defective, yet disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living: if you looked up “Stanford Filbrick Pines” in the dictionary, that’s the first thing you’d see. People have argued a lot about whether Ford is arrogant and how much, but I don’t think that’s actually the most helpful way to analyze his character. Ford has, at different times, considered himself a genius, a fool, a hero, a puppet; but what never changes is that he’s obsessed with the question of his own identity, and driven by the fear he’s either a freak or a non-entity. Even at the end of Journal 3, when he finally starts to chillax, he doesn’t abandon the question of his identity and say, “Who cares if I’m a hero or not.” Instead he chooses a new identity: “I’m a hero’s brother, and I’m okay with that.”

So how does this explain their problems?

Because, as much as these two dumb idiots love each other, they have primal fears that are often at cross-purposes, and that make them hypersensitive to each other’s worst tendencies. Stan fears being unloved and alone, and at his most desperate he is willing to do anything—including literally immolate his identity—to keep his loved ones around him, or bring them back. Ford fears having no separate identity or personal significance, and at his most desperate he is willing to do anything—including cut his twin out of his life, and summon unknown spirits of insane power—to grasp that identity.

This is why I think that, even if the whole science fair debacle had never happened, they would have still had some kind of major rift. They both grew up bullied by other children, emotionally abused by their father, and without any kind of support network or healthy relationship models; I don’t think either of them had the resources, at that point, to deal with their issues in a healthy way. Stan would have tried to cling to Ford no matter what, without realizing Ford experienced it as suffocation; Ford would have tried to strike out on his own no matter what, without realizing that Stan experienced it as complete rejection.

And this dynamic is also what drives their conflict after Ford comes back through the portal. I’m thinking, particularly, of their scene at the end of “Tale of Two Stans”:

Ford: Okay, Stanley, here’s the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. I’ll stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer’s over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?

Stan: You really aren’t gonna thank me, are you? Fine. On one condition: you stay away from the kids; I don’t want them in danger. Cause as far as I’m concerned, they’re the only family I have left.

A lot of people have interpreted this scene as Ford planning to kick Stan out of his life and onto the streets (and written angsty fanfics accordingly). This may indeed be how Stan saw it, but I don’t think that’s a fully accurate perception. A moment before this, they’re laughing about being old men. Ford’s voice in delivering his ultimatum doesn’t read as angry or cold so much as somebody trying to put his foot down.

I think the key to Ford’s speech is the implicit link between “you can stay here the rest of the summer” and “I’ll stay down in the basement.” Ford is primarily thinking about the issue of his stolen identity: there can only be one Stanford Pines, so while he’s willing hide himself away and let Stan keep playing the role for the rest of the summer, he wants to be Stanford Pines again. He wants his own identity, and to have a say in what goes on in his house. Which is completely reasonable!

But of course, Stan is approaching this conversation from a completely different direction. He’s spent thirty years trying to save Ford, not just because of his own guilt but also because he wants their relationship back: think of how he throws his arms wide and shouts “Brother!” when Ford steps through the portal. From Stan’s point of view, Ford is saying that everything Stan suffered and accomplished is still not enough to earn his love. Which is why Stan lashes out, having finally reached the limits of his willingness to martyr himself. Objectively, it’s kind of terrible to disown your brother for not saying “thank you,” but in context it completely makes sense for Stan to react this way. (And honestly, it’s really good that he has managed to discover ONE boundary, even if he’s being petty about it.)

….but of course, Ford still doesn’t understand what’s going on in his brother’s head, so he interprets Stan’s anger as something along the lines of “how dare you want to make decisions, you should just live in my basement for the rest your life to make me happy.” Which in turn drives his hostility and posturing in later episodes (like the DD&MD game—yes, Ford was swept away by enthusiasm, but I think he was also very much trying to mark his territory when he covered the TV room in graphs.) And that just escalates Stan’s hurt and anger, creating his determination Not To Care even when the world is ending and Ford is a prisoner, and culminating in the Zodiac Fight which is hands-down the pettiest thing either of them has ever done.

What saves them is Dipper and Mabel, who remind them it’s possible for two radically different siblings to work together—and who give them something to care about outside their own tumultuous dyad. Threatened by the loss of Dipper and Mabel, they find they can still trust and understand each other well enough to pull off a desperate, last-minute con. In one way, their final gambit seems to echo their earlier patterns: Stan burns up his identity to save his family, Ford grimly makes a choice that will cut him off from his brother. But there’s an important difference: Stan doesn’t expect to get anything back from this, not admiration from the kids or love from his brother, because he doesn’t expect to be himself after. He burns the dream of the Stan-o-War along with all the rest of his memories. Ford, on the other hand, gives up all claim to being the hero, The Man Who Killed Bill Cipher; more than that, he trusts Stan to carry out that role for him.

And that’s how, after everything, they’re able to reconcile and be at peace with each other.

#stanford pines #stanley pines #gravity falls #stan pines #ford pines #enneagram #reposting to see if i can get this in the tags

[pocketfulofrogers]

Haunted Woman, Broken Lover Part 3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve Rogers is usually a reasonable, ‘think first man’. Throw someone he cares for into the mix and that goes out the window. Now the world is left wondering what the hell Captain America has gotten himself into now. 

Notes: Part 3, no warnings. Idk I’m in the middle of moving and freaking out so have this.

Part 1 Part 2

Masterlist

“I think that’s enough for today.” Steve’s voice isn’t what pulls you from an old memory, it’s his hand cradling yours. The soft warmth of his fingertips pressing into your palm. There’s concern in his eyes, a crease in his brow. He closes the file you had all but forgotten about and sighs. “Would you like to talk about where your head’s really at?”

There’s a joke you’re about to let slip, one that would certainly make him blush, but it feels cheap for the moment. “Do you ever wish things were different?” You find yourself asking instead.

Your question surprises him. “Different how?”

“Do you ever wish you weren’t what you are?”

“Do you?”

You’re quiet for a moment. “Sometimes.” You admit.

“Me too, I guess.” You’re shocked to hear him say. “Sometimes I wish someone else could take over. This isn’t really a life you survive.”

“I always thought of it as the sacrifice we make.”

He gives your hand a squeeze before pulling away. “Maybe.” He’s quiet for a long time, and you think you should just leave it at that. “What if we didn’t have to sacrifice anymore?”

You’re about to question him, ask what exactly that means when he makes an out of place joke, brushes off the whole conversation. 

Like him with you, you were trying to figure him out, pull back the layers the suit and name had given him and figure out who Steve Rogers really was.

Perhaps you had dug a little too deep.

**

Natasha finds you just outside the Trinità dei Monti church with a book you’re definitely not reading in your hands. It’s only for appearances as are the dark, round sunglasses and wig you don. Most of your attention is trained on the entrance of the Hassler Roma, awaiting the arrival of a man who uses his art gallery to hide the funding of terrorist attacks.

Quite cliché if you ask her

Tracking you had been the most eventful months of her year so far. She had tried to follow you through the bodies you left, but was always too late, just a step behind. She spent some time roaming Europe, then South America. Even did a week in Canada.

Then Steve had gone missing. Took an armored car and a duffle and never returned.

A tracker put the car just outside of Richmond in a field in Lorraine. The local SHIELD team reported it was intact, no signs of a struggle, but that only makes them more nervous. They tried to trace his footsteps, but lost track somewhere around Manchester.

Two hours later, Natasha was in Steve’s apartment going through everything she could find. She found a file with the name ‘Arthur Yates’ printed on the front in a locked cabinet hidden in a closet. The note you left smoothed out and paper clipped inside.

Her blood ran cold, fear stiffened her fingers and hung heavy on her shoulders. She cursed herself for not knowing, not guessing that of course Steve Rogers would take it upon himself to clear your name. The love sick fool.

Arthur Yates was a man few knew little about. What she did know came from stories you let slip after one too many drinks. You painted a picture of a powerful and obsessed man furious over the loss of his prized ‘creation’.  

One day she tried to ask you more about him and what you had called the ‘Institute’, you shut down, disappeared for a few days. 

Steve is the one who found you and brought you back.

She never asked again.

**

You recognize the soft footsteps behind you and groan. “Don’t tell me my Russian is dead.”

“It was a quick death.” Natasha quips.

“What a shame.” You sigh turning to her. “How’d you find me?”

“Tracked your hack, messy job even for you.”

You shrug your shoulders. “SHIELD had Yuri’s contacts on file.”

“Oh, cut the shit.” She bites.

You wince. “I don’t know where he is, Nat.”

She rolls her eyes. “You gave him coordinates. Did you really think he wouldn’t follow them?”

“They weren’t real! I only put Yates’ name on that stupid letter because I needed him to believe they were.” You pause to collect yourself and start again. “He’s a good man, Natasha. Everything you ever said he was and more. He never would have let me go easy.”

“So instead you left in the middle of the night. Why? Cause you started to get attached? Started to feel something real for once? It’s just a name Y/N! You are not some lifeless-“

“Do not pretend you know anything about me.” You hiss. “People who get close to me don’t just get hurt, they get killed. Yates was in DC. He was closing in. I sent Steve as far from the danger zone as I could.”

“Didn’t seem to work.”

The sudden rush of guilt causes you to look away. “He shouldn’t have been able to find anything credible. Yates covers his tracks better than I do.”

“Well he did.”

“Only because he wanted him too.”

That stops her cold, trickles ice down her spine. The thought of Steve at the mercy of a man like that was not something she had allowed herself to think about. But you? It tormented your nights and was the drive behind your days.

“Where is he.” She bites out, but doesn’t allow your response. “You can’t tell me the ‘all-seeing ghost’ hasn’t heard one thing about where Captain America is.”

You ignore her jab. “Did the Russian have a notebook on him? Would’ve been white with gold etchings, did you see it?” You press. She rolls her eyes again and you know there will be poison behind her next words, you don’t blame her. “Just tell me you know where he was staying, please.”

She tells you of a hotel three blocks east and ignore her when she questions your character, your loyalty. She’s scared, she needs an outlet. That’s why you don’t protest when she declares she’s coming with.

The walk is tense, you try to hold your tongue.

**

“Where did the name even come from?” Steve asks you.

You’re outside a crowded café in the city. High sun, blue sky, light breeze. It had taken him a solid hour to convince you to go with him. Something about fresh air. He said nothing of your disguise when you came out, not knowing why someone no one knew existed needed one, but worked up one of his own in order to show ‘solidarity’.

A local college shirt and a baseball cap worn low. The effort counted; you guess.

You had pointed out it didn’t do much to hide him, but he seemed convinced that, without the suit, it was all too easy to slip under the radar.

Still, you felt uncomfortable so out in the open. The bustling patrons, loud laughter. So many moving parts kept your eyes darting around behind your dark sunglasses. All it took though, was a single touch from him to pull you back.

This time he nudges your knee under the table with his.

You slip back into the conversation and shrug your shoulders. “Definitely not from me. Honestly, I’m not even that big of a fan of it.” He laughs at your admission.

“If you could choose, what would you go by.”

You take a moment to finish your cup while you think. “No name, just an agent.” He raises a brow. “I’ve always been solo; it’d be nice to be a part of something.”

His smile beams beneath that ridiculous cap and you wave down the waitress for refills.

**

It’s an easy building to get into. Low security, if any at all and old school locks that only take you seconds to open. You try to make a joke about missing simpler days to lighten the mood, but are only met with silence.

The door squeaks open, a testament to the lack of quality, and inside is… interesting. Gaudy red carpet and over stated gold accents. It’s tasteless and grimy and you dread having to search through his things.

Natasha stands in a corner with her arms crossed, silently seething and you’re about to reach your limit.

You find the notebook tucked under a loose floorboard and begin to flip through the pages, trailing your fingers down the margins.

“Is this really your priority right now? Your next target? Unbelievable. Steve is-“

You ball your fists, tilt your face up and close your eyes, trying to tune out her latest insults. “Do you really think so low of me?” You cut her off, voice low. “I get he’s family and you love him and he’s in danger. Alright, I get it. But if you keep coming at me like this, I’m going to kick you to the curb and go get him by myself.”

Your threat surprises her. “You’ve been tracking Yates?”

“No one can track him, but I can track those around him. Yuri had a meeting with him in Valencia two weeks ago. I almost had them both. They were communicating through a message board, coded of course, was hoping this guy wrote down the cipher.”

“Would he be stupid enough for that?”

You sigh, feeling defeated, but then your eyes catch something. “I thought so, but we’ll just have to settle for his login.” You dangle the book before her and roll your eyes when she comments she could’ve hacked that information.

**

You’re extremely good at what you do, as is Natasha, but one truth remains evident. Cracking a cipher you have no prior knowledge of because it doesn’t exist outside of one very small group of people, is difficult. The lack of privacy in this internet café doesn’t exactly help either of you.

You’re leaned over her shoulder, reading each post she pulls up. Something she only mentioned was irritating a few times.

Knowing you hadn’t purposefully led Steve into the arms of Satan himself, or that you did intend to save him, had only lessened her hurt a fraction. She still felt as if you had betrayed her somehow. At first, she understood why you had to leave, but you hadn’t returned after the dust had settled and that alone had left her reeling. She had let you in, a rare occurrence for the Black Widow.

An hour later, and perhaps Yuri hadn’t been as dense as you originally thought. Each message left was a different cipher from the last, making establishing a pattern almost impossible. Natasha had scribbled through three pieces of paper before you’re ready to tear your hair out.

Just as you’re about to call it quits, a new message pops up. Natasha groans, but you recognize it. You spent three weeks in a dark room helping develop it so long ago.

It starts with a poor attempt at pleasantries, vaguely detailed threats for taking out a partner, but the last line shakes you to your core.

“Come home before America’s soldier is no longer breathing.”

You keep your face emotionless, but know exactly what it means: trade your life for Steve’s. Give yourself up and submit so that he may have a chance of making it home alive. An exchange you are more than okay with.

The only problem was, Natasha would never allow you to do something as risky as this, something that could very well end in your death. She may be pissed at the moment, but you know with absolute certainty that she would knock you out and lock you in a cell if she had any idea you were even considering this.

So, the question is, how do you shake one of the greatest spies to ever exist?

“Look, we’re not going to figure this out staring at a screen all day. This is too complex for him to have not written it somewhere. Can you still access his body?”

Natasha scrunches her nose. “Yeah.”

“You get his phone and anything else that might be useful, I’ll turn the room and see if I can shake something loose, then we’ll regroup latter.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, selling your frustration. “There’s a printer here, right? This place is making me itch.”

**

Leaving Natasha with nothing more than a goodbye and an empty promise to see her soon, you flash her a smile, silently thank her for all the small slivers of happiness she had brought to your life. She returns it, mutters a small apology for her assumptions and a part of you aches.

You’re on a plane to North Carolina before she’s able to figure out you’ve tossed your burner and disappeared again, this time without a word.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america imagine #natasha romanoff #marvel #mcu #avengers

[aceandaroacts]

On Being a Happy Family of One

[This month, I'm hosting the Carnival of Aces, a blogging festival where participants respond to a topic. The topic I've chosen for this month is "Conscious and Unconscious Differences". You can see the other submissions and join in here!]

Considering the experiences you’ve had that are tied to your asexuality, how have they made you stronger?

Hi! I'm aceandaroacts. If you met me in real life, I'd introduce myself as a coder of custom software and grandma-at-heart. But this is the internet!

The most important thing to know about me is not the things I've built, places I've gone, or the experiences I've overcome. It's my attitude: "I can do this!"

When I first started thinking about topics to write about for this month's Carnival of Aces, I was torn between several ideas. I love fashion. I understand none of it, and never know what I'm doing, but I have fun with it and am trying to figure out how to be more... visible? as one of the few agender people at my company. I also have a cool history with being forced to dress like a Gothic nun half my life and building cosplays and cool Halloween costumes in the present half. But that felt a little too intersectional, and might not be as useful from an academic lens.

I thought about cryptography, clandestine communication, and the obsession with language and selective secrecy I had as a kid, and how that connects to a lot of ace symbols - the black ring on the middle finger, ace cards, cake, dragons... and how I wound up spending two months and hundreds of hours consuming all the ace content I could find, because words and language and symbols are so important!

And I thought about my life; how it compares to the default narrative, and how I'm going about building my own.

This month's theme is conscious and unconscious differences. Unconscious, as in automatic, or as in: before I knew I was asexual. Conscious, as in: intentional. It's broad enough to wrap around all the above, but specific enough in the "how does this make you stronger" bit that I think we'll still see some cool patterns and strengths arise that help to establish our own narrative tropes.

I bought "unsexy" conservative outfits before I know I was asexual. I avoided people that showed too much interest in me automatically. I unconsciously avoided conversations about dating, sex, attraction, and masturbation with friends by walking away or changing the topic. My favorite colors have always been purple, silver, black, and white. Strategy games were my favorite. I'd obsess over characters that were mysterious, building all kinds of different backstories and futures for them in my head. I never had sleepovers, and didn't understand why people would want them. I was the "lone wolf" in my friend groups - a drifter that got along pretty well with all kinds of people, but ultimately did whatever they wanted with or without company. Around 60% of my friends were adults; I had great relationships with the teachers and staff members at my school, and I knew all the local librarians by name. The gender split of my friend group was always pretty close to 50-50, and populated with extremely different perspectives - punk anarchists, exchange students, female football players, native american sci-fi enthusiasts, anorexic wrestlers, etc. I loved words, loved codes and ciphers, loved fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and music with lyrics. I avoided drama like the plague. I had a very unstable home life, and moved locations almost every year. Home only extended as far as to the skin on my body. I never dreamed about weddings or fancy houses or kids (or even pets!). P.E. (Physical Education) was the worst - I felt uncomfortable in the dressing rooms, so I would arrive early before people started undressing and would change in the restrooms so I would have privacy and avoid seeing naked people as much as possible. I never obsessed over my body - I could go for months at a time without looking in a mirror. My reputation was based on my academics and random hobbies, not my looks or relationships. People sought me out as a mentor and constantly told me I was "mature" and "an old soul". When fights broke out, people looked to me as a fair and impartial judge of the situation, and respected whatever verdict I reached. It felt a lot like being a Buddha!

Realizing I was asexual didn't change much of that, but it did cause me to face choices head-on: would I try to find a partner, or not? Would I try to live with other roommates, or not? Would I try to be attractive, or not? Would I go to bars to make friends, or not? Would I worry about having a weak social network, or not? Would I want to live in a retirement community, or not? Would I want kids around, or not? What would my milestones in life be? How would I fulfill my human need to be social? Who would I trust to take care of me in an emergency?

I'm estranged from my birth family. I'm asexual, aromantic, agender, touch-averse, romance-repulsed, sex-repulsed, and introverted as can be. I tried dating and was so miserable that I wound up finding asexuality because of it in the first place. I don't trust myself to be a parent since my own parents screwed up so badly that it left me with three mental illnesses and a decade's worth of unwinding bad life lessons. So I'm in a fun position!

The "normal" life journey story goes like this: You grow up with two loving biological parents, get your education, graduate, get further training or education via school or a first job, find your partner in life, get into a steady career, get married and live together, have kids, raise those kids, watch them get their education and jobs and move away, then retire and die at an old age. My life only has the education and job bits (retirement? in this economy? die old? on this polluted planet?). I'm not going to look for a lifelong partner. I'm not having kids or adopting. There's a whole lot of white space where everyone else has milestones, and I've consciously accepted that as okay. I'm a family of one, and it's great!

The first milestones I set for myself were to find good roommates, help out fellow child abuse survivors, and own a home. I've achieved them! My next milestone is to do something big and artsy that makes a decent amount of people happy. I have no idea what it will be, yet - right now I've been doing lots of little things: teaching workshops, building costumes, painting, home renovation projects. I'm gonna try being in a music band this year. The milestone after that will be to have a big impact via a community-service type initiative. There's a woman in my city that created an LGBTQ homeless shelter that's an actual home-like environment (seasonal housing with free counseling, job training, stocked pantry, etc. aimed at guiding people to independence and self-sufficiency) which I thought was really cool, and I'd like to do something that's on a similar scale. After that, who knows? Maybe publish a book instead of writing 12 of them and letting them collect dust? Maybe run a small rainbow-themed cafe that makes fancy desserts? So many possibilities!

It's exactly these differences that bleed into my strengths. I'm super independent/self-motivated/self-directed, because I've had to be to survive. I excel at navigating uncertainty, ambiguity, assessing risks, and forecasting outcomes and trends, because my life has a lot of uncertainty and risk compared to the average population. I'm quick to pick up on communication styles and tailor my messages accordingly, because I've had to be mindful about it when navigating my parents and people that developed crushes on me and/or became stalkers. My superpower at work is my ability to dodge all of the politics at play and get everyone on board with factually beneficial solutions (so I still come across as an objective party vs someone playing favorites or only looking out for themselves). People have faith that I'm an expert in all things IT, even when I mess up, because I ask good questions and make fewer assumptions. (I assumed I was cis for 22 years and surprise! I was wrong. Anyone can be wrong. Especially if they are never forced to think about the thing!) I'm great at organizing live events - I plan multiple award shows and get-togethers. I also run an ace & aro meetup in my city! (The experience of being isolated will make an organizer out of you real quick!) People seek me out as a mentor and coach at work because I'm already satisfied with my life and who I am, and I genuinely want to help others without expecting anything in return. I intentionally stay in touch with and work to expand my friend group, which means I have a great professional network of actual friends that I find interesting and fun to be around, and not just LinkedIn faces. If I weren't ace, I wouldn't be doing that. And if I still didn't know I was ace, I wouldn't be doing it half as much as I do now - when you really focus on it, it's so worth it!

So, yeah. Asexuality is a part of me, and it's great. How does your identit(y/ies) make you great?

#carnival of aces #actually asexual #asexual #ace

[moonwest]

Belated Thoughts on Norma Jeane Baker of Troy

I’m going to try to be honest and not let my tremendous admiration for both Ben and Renée Fleming cloud my review of the play and my reaction to it.

 I saw the play twice.  I had purchased a really good seat for April 26, and arrived in NY April 24.  I spent the afternoon sitting in the sun at Bryant Park and walking the High Line (highly recommend doing both!) and of course the High Line starts (or ends) at Hudson Yards, so naturally I had to scope out the lay of the land and explore The Shed that first day.  Completely on the spur of the moment I asked if there were any cheap seats for that evening and there were, in the very last row but one, so I went for it.

For anyone who may be going in this last week (and I apologize for writing this up so late) I would recommend paying more money and sitting closer to the stage if possible.  The play is dimly lit and while the acoustics were fine, I missed a number of visual details sitting so far away.  The theatre sits 500 people and is basically a black box – very stark (though the seats are comfortable enough). Sightlines were fine and the sound was very clear – as I said, it was really more the distance and low lighting than anything else that were a bit of a challenge.

There is no stage door per se.  If you’re lucky (like I was), the performers exit via the escalator into the lobby bar area, and that’s your chance to meet them.

I can understand why some people have struggled with the play – it’s not a typical linear story, and it’s a spoken poem - not at all a naturalistic dialogue between two people.  And I think a number of audience members were made uncomfortable seeing a male actor slowly transform into a woman – both nights I could feel a palpable shift in attention when the corset and padding came out.

I had the great pleasure of seeing Anne Carson’s Bakkhai in 2015 so I knew there would be a lot of both poetic and sung language – which is certainly delivered here.  And because I was completely unfamiliar with the Helen of Euripides, it really helped to have read the play – which I did before seeing it again Friday night.

All that to say – while on first viewing I might not have understood every nuance of the text, I certainly got the gist of it:  how women – their lives and stories – are so often controlled, co-opted and distorted by men, and no matter the time or place, there is something familiar and heartbreaking in seeing this play out over and over again.  In many ways Ben and Renée are ciphers – almost acting as chorus telling this story rather than distinct characters with fully realized stories of their own.  Why is Ben’s character dictating a new version of Helen?  What is thge story behind his burn scars?  Why is he obsessed with Marilyn Monroe and her link to Helen, to the point where he becomes her/their persona?  Why does he feel so deeply for these women?  Why is Renée’s character so desperate for money that she agrees to transcribe his words in secret and after midnight on New Year’s Eve?  What is in her that reacts so strongly to his transformation that in the very act of witnessing she becomes complicit and tenderly compassionate?

I don’t think we’re meant to know any of these things – and honestly that didn’t bother me a bit.  I was drawn in and mesmerized throughout.  Some of the language, simple as it is, is so beautiful and rings so sadly true, as expressed by them both.  There’s humour and tragedy and deep rage here, and wow – as performers they absolutely nail it.

Renée’s voice is almost otherworldly in its richness, strength, grace and sheer generosity, and to have the privilege of seeing her live in a smallish theatre was a privilege I don’t take lightly.  There is a reason she is so highly regarded in the music world, and people around me the second night were marvelling that she had agreed to do this when she can so easily command huge audiences in opera houses and concert halls worldwide.

And oh Ben – the way he moves his body and the change in tone of his voice as he becomes Helen/Marilyn/Persephone is wry, funny, graceful, sexy, moving, tragic and impossible to ignore. @a-forger-and-a-point-man commented in her review how he commands the stage and is just spectacular in every way (she’s much more eloquent than I could ever hope to be).  And yes – on a purely shallow physical note he does not disappoint!  I don’t think even at my best my waist was ever that small.  And yes he really can sing and the guts it must take to do a duet with Renée – but he pulls it off!  

It was even better on second viewing (center seat, third row), because:  a) I knew what to expect and could really watch and listen for certain lines, movements and song; and b) I could appreciate the sheer fluidity of their choreographed movements, and how very in sync they were with each other.  And oh my – the sheer detail in that tawdry office set is mind blowing when you see it close up.  Ben was very beautiful up close (and very thin but sculpted muscle all over!) and well… just wow.  And of course heartbreaking as always.  And oh I have such a girl crush on Renée now!

I have to applaud them both for taking this on – because it’s such a departure and so brave – especially given the mixed reviews and less than receptive audiences (Four people walked out the first night I saw it). They’re both impossibly beautiful in this and it’s something I’ll be thinking about for a very long time.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed seeing their interviews together because the level of trust, ease and joy they seem to have in each other is essential I think for making it work.  

I was lucky enough to meet @midrashic the first night (we were sitting beside each other!) and Ben after the play – and as always he was quietly shy and charming and of course I was tongue tied and I’m sure came across as a blithering fangirl (which – let’s face it, I am – but I try not to make it too obvious).  I’m glad I was able to tell him how strongly the play affected me as a woman.  I said I was really looking forward to seeing him as Uriah Heep in David Copperfield in December and he grimaced and said he wasn’t sure how that was going to turn out.  Oh dear.  And of course I COMPLETELY forgot to mention A Very English Scandal.  The overalls were in evidence and good god his hair in person really is still beyond belief and still totally deserves its own tag!

#Ben Whishaw #Renee Fleming #Norma Jeane Baker of Troy #my review

[neverwatchedonepiece]

635-637: "The Fateful Reunion! Bellamy the Hyena!", "A Super Rookie! Bartolomeo the Cannibal!" and "Big Names Duke it Out! The Heated Block B Battle!"

Luffy’s entire experience of Dressrosa so far.

If I had two words to sum up these episodes, they would be: new characters.

New characters everywhere. 

And, if @mrkashkiet​ is right, some of them should not be immediately written off as battle fodder. I have done my best to keep track of all the new names  and faces (let’s face it, Dressrosa has not yet descended into HxH War of Succession level madness). 

But I think I have a better handle on the competitors now. Who knew paying close attention would work wonders?

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the influx of new characters is not limited to the Colosseum.

Trafalgar Law: Supplier of Tea and Shade

Yes.

It is the return of Cipher Pol. Except this time, the World Government have unleashed the Big Guns.

The Caesar Handover Team (Law, Robin, Usopp and Caesar) had camped at a pavement cafe near the Long Bridge they must cross to reach Green Bit. They were indulging in a bit of recon because the bridge, to put it mildly, was in a state of disrepair.

A rickey, rusting wreck is what I want to say.

A conveniently chatty waiter was only too happy to furnish them with intel. Apparently, people used to freely cross the bridge two-hundred years ago, but an influx of fighting fish ruined everything. The people tried to reinforce the bridge with iron but it never worked. Yes, people still try to cross. The waiter himself knew people who’d made the attempt. But no one ever came back. (I bet the Smile factory is on Green Bit.)

Caesar and Usopp were not keen on making the crossing. Law told them to pipe down and pulled the “we’re here now, anyway” card. The lack of unrest in Dressrosa was what worried Law. (Sanji noticed that too.) Their king had abdicated suddenly. Why was everyone so calm?

Then something awesome happened.

Robin saw something out the corner of her eye. She cringed, pulled her hat down further over her face. Caesar caught on too.

Three sinister, white-robed, masked people walked down the street like ghosts. They were heading in the direction of the bridge.

It was CP0. According to Robin, they are even deadlier that CP9 and are charged with only the highest level intelligence missions. “When they’re on the move,” Robin said, “nothing good happens.”

Except plot, Robin. Good plot happens.

I mean, come on! First Fujitora is hanging about, supposedly to deal with all the pirates in the Colosseum. Now CP0 have crawled out of the woodwork but they are lurking about the bridge. They are all in on something. They must know or suspect something is going on in Dressrosa. I’ll bet they have intel Luffy and Law don’t.

I wonder if Fujitora wants Luffy to draw out Doflamingo (or at least the proof something is going on). He definitely knows Luffy is behind the beard and he let Luffy go. Why? The plot chickenz.

Zoro , Sanji and Kinemon: Technically All Chasing After Precious Things

Elsewhere on Dressrosa, Zoro, Sanji and Kinemon have all gone their separate, chaotic ways.

Zoro has finally laid hands on Shusui again, but - and I cannot believe I am saying this - a small, thieving, invisible creature *was* behind the disappearance of Zoro’s belongings. And they referred to Zoro as a “human”, which means... I mean, are we really talking fairies here? Why do they need to steal stuff? Are they raising funds for Doflamingo? I have no idea what’s going on.  I am at the point of tin-foil hat speculation so I���ll quit before the hat is fully on.

Sanji managed to take out a sniper sixteen metres above ground with one kick. Why the need for a sniper kicking spree? He was being targeted while walking with Violet. I am still suspicious of her. I think she’s in on the whole thing and she is only just beginning to realise that, uh oh, she’s snared a really strong fighter, how do we get out of this one?

Also, Kinemon found himself surrounded by chuckling thugs who threw Kanjuuro’s location in his face. They recognised him by the “top-knot-shaped hat” (lmao). There was a, “If you don’t cooperate, we will kill you and your friend,” moment. Not super interested in this plot point, but looking forward to seeing how Oda weaves it into the wider storyline. 

Meanwhile, on The Event Horizon Sunny...

A portal has opened to another dimension.

In the grand scheme of things, everyone who went to Dressrosa got the better end of the bargain because this... this is some weird shit.

(Plus, there was another Momonosuke clue. While Momo was playing at being shogun (and Brook refused, saying he “Only takes orders from Luffy-san”) Dr Chopper observed Momo’s behaviour. Apparently, Momo is putting up a good front, disguising some sort of trauma. What happened to him a Punk Hazard could be a good bet. Maybe there was something else we didn’t get to see.)

Bellamy Is A New Man! Sort of...

Back at the Colosseum, the main event was underway: Block B’s battle! We still haven’t reached the end of it yet but that’s because a lot was happening backstage.

The action picked up where it left off. Luffy’s reunion with Bellamy did not go quite as I expected - in a good way. A lot has happened since Luffy kicked Bellamy’s ass at Jaya. For one, after ridiculing Luffy for his ambition to visit Skypeia, Bellamy made his own trip. He lost his crew in the attempt (I think?) but brought back a huge golden souvenir, which he presented to Doflamingo. 

I didn’t quite understand his connection with Doflamingo before. I figured he was part of Doflamingo’s crew and worked exclusively for him. But it turns out Bellamy had his own crew? Maybe they were allied with/working for Doflamingo?

At any rate, since he returned from Skypeia, Bellamy has become a changed man. He has obsessively worked for Doflamingo - who was Bellamy’s pirate hero since he was a kid - in hopes of being promoted to an executive post in the Donquixote family. 

That is why he entered the Battle Royale. Not to win the Mera Mera fruit, but for a promotion.

I have the funniest feeling he won’t be getting it.

His spring power is cool, though. Luffy was right. He’s definitely become stronger. The way he took out Abdullah and Jeet was pretty stylish. I also like the character development Bellamy has undergone. Oda has morphed him from a loathsome, one-dimensional mook into someone with ambition who will do anything to achieve his goals. Nice.

Bartolomeo

Now, this guy was a surprise.

When Oda introduced Maynard last episode, I never thought for a minute that the badass Marine who held a knife to a pirate’s throat and took him out so easily would become instant fodder in the very next installment.

That’ll teach me for trying to predict Oda’s intentions.

Bartolomeo acts like an Edgy Edgerson (that’s a bit of an understatement, to be honest) but he does look out for his crew, as all good captains should. The guy who was murked last time by Maynard was part of his crew. Unfortunately for Maynard, Bartolomeo is the revenge type. Maynard was left crumpled in a bloody heap. It was interesting that Maynard had planned to take part in the competition. Was it for intel or were the Marines seriously thinking they were in with a shot at the Mera Mera fruit?

Bartolomeo is also one of the rookies Cavendish loathes. When the commentator introduced him, we learned it only took Bartolomeo a year to become (in)famous in the New World. Apparently, he roasted a crew of pirates and broadcast the footage and bombed some innocent civilians. As you do. He also won the coveted spot of #1 Most Annoying Pirate Who Should Just Go Away (lmao).

This was backed up by the crowd. They booed him like a pantomime villain and pelted him with trash. The bomb prank did nothing to salvage the tatters of his public image. Even Dagama was like, “They hate you so much, brat.”

But Bartolomeo didn’t care. He is super edgy. “Don’t even want them to like me.” (If he met Eustass Kidd, the amount of Edge would reach critical mass and cause some sort of singularity).

I have the feeling Bartolomeo will win this fight.

Why?

He has barely lifted a finger the entire time. When the gong was struck, he lay down like Slaking, took a nap. Then he woke up, pissed in the moat (lmao) and somehow took out Hack the Fishman Karate Master with little effort. He must be a fruit user. I wonder what his power is?

It’s testament to how One Piece stretches the limits of your morality when you find yourself laughing and cheering for a guy who literally roasted his rivals and broadcast the footage over the OP equivalent of YouTube.

And the Award for Most Hostile Leading Question Goes To...

While the fighting was underway, Luffy and Cavendish watched from a balcony. Cavendish gave Lucy the low-down on who the most likely winners would be. Apart from Bartolomeo and Bellamy, there was Elizabello II, his tactician Dagama, Ricky (a mysterious Gladiator), Blue Gilly from the Longarm Tribe, Tank Lepant of Dressrosa, Abdullah and Jeet, and Hack (a Fishman Karate specialist and fan of Jimbei).

Elizabello II, Dagama and Tank teamed up with a cadre of random fodders to protect Elizabello. It turns out Liz has a King’s Punch ability that can take out entire fortresses. The only thing is, it takes ages for it to power up and he can only use it once a day. They must want the Mera Mera Fruit badly, as the restrictions of the King Punch make it pretty damned useless in this context. Even if he did get through to the next round, he might be one-on-one against Jesus Burgess. Burgess does not need to wait an hour to power up a punch. Even if it’s four fighters all in the ring together (I bet Luffy will team up with Rebecca), I don’t see Burgess helping him out.

Blue Gilly is a kick fighter with oddly hypnotic knee pads.

Ricky is a mystery. He is a gladiator other fighters have never seen but some random in the crowd claims he might have once - a warrior who fought with no shield.

The Middle Eastern trope fighters Abdullah and Jeet were taken out by Bellamy, Hack was defeated by Bartolomeo.

All very exciting. I love a Battle Royale.

But most of the action was taking place backstage.

While Luffy and Cavendish watched the battle, a hulking, craggy, mountainous figure approached. I knew he was big because Toei had given him the “Big Guy Clown Shoes” sound effect they use for guys like Moria and Kuma. He had the number 12 tattooed on his forehead. It was Don Chinjao.

He stood beside Luffy and Cavendish and said, “Hey, lovely view we’ve got here. Btw, how is Garp-san doing?”

Luffy, the honest soul, never saw the trap coming. “You know grandpa?”

Uh oh.

Well, the situation escalated hilariously quickly after that.

“Garp was like a real demon to us pirates back then. My wound still hasn’t healed, you know. I need you to pay for what your grandpa did to me. If I’d heard about Garp’s son, Dragon, sooner, you would never have been born.”

Ooft. That’s a heavy grudge.

Of course, Cavendish was like, “WHAT? YOU ARE LUFFY!”

And poor Luffy was still desperately clinging to his Lucy disguise, wondering why everyone was blaming him for things that really were not his fault. “no, really, i misheard. i am lucy, honest.”

“YOU DON’T MISHEAR YOUR OWN NAME!!”

Now both Cavendish and Don Chinjao were steamed. They ended up in a skirmish where Cavendish’s Shiny Sparkly Sword, Durandal, was shown off (to be fair, it does look awesome) and the endurance of Chinjao’s Mighty Skull was tested. Neither were going all out, which was nice.

At any rate, Luffy is now hanging from a window ledge. His promise to Franky is not working out well so far. 

Ahhh, that was a good tinkle.

#one piece #neverwatchedonepiece #nwop #never watched one piece #bartolomeo #bellamy the hyena #monkey d. luffy #cavendish #donquixote doflamingo #don chinjao #trafalgar law #nico robin #usopp #caesar clown #cp 0 #roronoa zoro #sanji #foxfire kinemon #tony tony chopper #brook #nami #monkey d. garp #jesus burgess #violet #elizabello #dagama #blue gilly #tank lepant #abdullah and jeet #hack one piece

[impossible-rat-babies]

In Character Interview!

I got tagged by @ariela-of-aedyr! Thank you lovely!

In the spirit of answering for Ariela, I’m going to do Aoife for this meme! :)

I’m going to tag: @apostatetabris, @whispersofyenwood, @dragonie, and anyone else who wants to do this!

—

What’s your name?

Aoife! Aoife Fawcett.

Do you know why you were named that?

One of my mothers was Aedyran and she wished me to be named that when I was born. Sadly, she passed when I was born and my other mother, Ciara, honored her wife’s wish and named me that.

Are you single or taken?

Taken, as of now. Something I didn’t think I’d find myself saying, but here we are.

Have any abilities or powers?

I am a Cipher and a Watcher, so I have no shortage of powers. I’m quite skilled with a bow though, slowly learning to be better with a sword however. I still like a mace better.

What’s your eye color?

Gold. I do have pupils, mind you, but they are the same color as my iris.

How about your hair color?

Black, with a bit of a wave at the end.

Have any family members?

Yes, I do. I have my mother, Ciara, who still lives at home in Ixamitl. I have an older sister and brother, Wren and Daniel. I don’t know where they are now, but I am....estranged from both of them.

I do have Vela, my daughter as one might suppose. She’s a sweetheart and I would do anything for her.

Oh? How about pets?

Ciara isn’t a pet, but she is the closest thing. She is my animal companion, a grumpy war hawk. Bred to be larger than their cousins and fit as any war bird. She likes to play with hair...

That’s cool, I guess. Now, tell me something you don’t like?

Slavery, harming innocents, people who chew with their mouths open. I can’t be expected to be as old as I am and not have a few things I dislike.

Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

I enjoy reading, when I can manage it. I like listening to Aloth read when I can’t manage it. I like practicing with my bow, enjoying the sun, playing with Vela. Rather simple things for complex times.

Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

Yes, both purposefully and accidentally. Being a young cipher without directions from peers or a mentor leads to accidents. It’s a much more purposeful affair now.

Ever… killed anyone before?

Yes and with the intention of doing such a thing. My life has had no shortage of those who have deserved it.

What kind of animal are you?

I don’t fancy myself an animal, but I am rather fond of hawks and other birds.

Name your worst habits?

I pick my nails, can be argumentative, too honest for my own good. Others have said I am too rational or far too sympathetic, but we can rarely be the judges of our own character.

Do you look up to anyone at all?

Rarely, since I’m over six foot tall.

Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

I fancy who I fancy, truth be told.

Did you attend school?

I know my letters and basic math, but the formalities of education didn’t happen. I am not without seeking out my own sort of knowledge and learning however. I do like learning languages though, and Rekke has said I have an ear for them.

Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

I have Vela, my daughter, and Aloth, for so long as we wish to have each other. That is enough for me and for now. Mayhaps things will change one day.

Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

I would surely hope not, but people do have the strangest obsessions.

What are you most afraid of?

I am afraid of hurting the ones I love and being used as a tool, the later a fact I see everyday when I look in the mirror or think about where I have been, where I have come from.

What do you usually wear?

Whatever will fit, honestly. I rarely find things that don’t need modifying due to my height and my tail, but I’ve made due. I do like patterns and colors, mainly blues, greens and reds. Yellow too.

What’s one food that tempts you?

My mother makes a wonderful rice dish that I miss greatly. No one quite makes it the same, but that’s true of all the foods one grows up on. I do have a weakness for little fried balls of dough rolled in sugar.

Am I annoying you?

No...?

Well, it’s still not over!

Go on then.

What class are you (low/middle/high)?

Class means little when you live on your own with your mother, but I would suppose most would call that low class. Caed Nua did make me a noble and I still have the rights to that land, so I assume I still retain that status. But oftentimes being a noble in the Dyrwood of all places isn’t quite as illustrious as being a Vallian or Aedyran noble.

How many friends do you have?

Many, and I cherish each of them.

What are your thoughts on pie?

It is very good. I enjoy both sweet and savory ones.

Favorite drink?

Water or mead. Occasionally rice wine. It’s not as bad as Rekke says it is.

What’s your favorite place?

The roof of Brighthollow at Caed Nua. I could watch the stars from up there and few knew how to get up there, so it was private in its way. It had a good view of the Keep and I miss it dearly.

Now, I do like my private cabin or being up near the top of the mast of the Tempo. I like the sea breeze in my hair.

Are you interested in anyone?

Yes I am very interested in someone and that interest has been reciprocated.

That was a stupid question…

I’m not the one who asked it, now am I?

Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Ocean. I was a pirate in my youth. The ocean is in my blood.

What’s your type?

Smart, compassionate, understanding. I do like folks who can tell a joke or two, dry witted or not.

Any fetishes?

None I will say to you, but many find death Godlike interesting in that sort of fashion. Never care to indulge anyone either.

Camping or outdoors?

Outdoors, surely. I spent six months camping across the Dyrwood and five years later I’ve still had my fill of it.

#under the cut bc it long #tag meme #oc tag #oc: aoife #pillars of eternity #weeee my boy who has next to no humor

[beccas-a-cipher]

Keep Her Safe

Originally posted: 10 September 2018

Ooooooo who's this one about? ;3

Run.

That was all the young woman could think.

Run. Get away. I have to protect her from him. He's not going to use her for what he wants.

She knew he would send his followers for her, for her child. She was scared, but even more terrified of what could happen if he ever got his hands on her baby.

A few droplets of water started to fall from the skies. This is such a typical escape scene, she thought to herself.

Now she could hear shouting behind her.

"Melinda! Stop! Where are you going?" He was close.

The woman didn't look back. She had already escaped once, and would do so again. He wasn't the same man he used to be, and she couldn't let him follow through with his plans.

Deep blue appeared in the air in front of her. She gasped, stumbling, before diving beside the closest house and out of sight. She gripped her swollen stomach, hoping for at least a small amount of comfort from her unborn daughter.

"Melinda, where are you?" His smooth, coaxing voice called. "What's wrong? We can talk this out, I promise."

She so wished they could talk this out, but she had already tried and it was too late for that. Ichiro was obsessed with his father's ludicrous plan to being equality to all. She had once believed that he was different, that they could find a way to be together without going to such illegal lengths, but he changed and his latest idea would bring doom to the Spero and Ciphers.

His footsteps made the already-soaked grass squelch, as it had already been raining for the past days.

"Melinda..." he breathed. She hated that him saying her name brought heat to her cheeks, that it made her heart skip a beat. But her mind kept her sane and in control, that she had to stay pressed against this wall just a longer.

"Ichiro! We got something over here!" One of the Spero called from farther down the road. The black-haired man muttered something under his breath and stepped through a blue portal to wherever his followers called him.

The woman took to the open backyards of these houses instead of risking the open street. She knew a place where she and her child could be safe; she just had to get there. She scurried through each yard and hoped that no one noticed her invading their property.

After what seemed like an eternity of ducking between houses and attempting to find the right road, all while being thoroughly soaked, she came to her destination. She walked up the front steps and took no hesitation in ringing the doorbell. A light turned on upstairs, followed by a few others as someone came to answer her call.

A fierce but slightly nervous face appeared as she opened the door just a crack.

"Amanda, I need your help," the pregnant woman pleaded.

The other woman, Amanda, looked surprised to see her old friend as she opened the door all the way.

"Melinda? What are you doing here, and so late? Oh, you're soaked! Come in, come in." Amanda ushered Melinda in and grabbed her a towel to help dry off. When she saw her childhood friend's baby bump, she gasped.

"What in the world were you thinking? You're pregnant and you're out in this weather? And whose the father?" She asked. Around this time, a man was walking sleepily down the stairs.

"Hi, Ted, Amanda. I'm sorry to bother you at such a late hour. I... I've gotten myself into a situation and I don't know what to do," Melinda's voice was soft. Even though she knew her friends would understand, the shame she felt for allowing herself to be fooled by Ichiro still burnt hot.

Amanda sat down beside the soaked woman and put a supportive hand on her shoulder. "Tell us what happened. We'll try and help you, I promise."

And so she told her best friend everything. Meeting Ichiro and being swooned by his big ideas and good looks, his confession of love for one another, the reveal that he was next in line to be the leader of the Spero, their time together fighting for their love, then her lover's change and his dangerous obsession with claiming the White Stone as his own and her pregnancy of a child that was both Cipher and Magiclica. Amanda's face morphed from adoration of her best friend finding love to worry for her friend to anger at her lover's actions. Ted being Ted stayed neutral through the story, the polar opposite to his wife's stubborn and energetic personality.

"So he thinks your child could be the key to the White Stone?" Amanda repeated dubiously.

Melinda nodded. "I don't know if it's true or not, but I don't want to find out. Once she's born I'm going to give her away, then disappear. Ichiro can't get his hands on her or me because I'll know where she is," The soon-to-be mother placed a hand on her stomach.

Amanda immediately looked at her husband. He looked confused before realizing whatever she was thinking and shaking his head.

"No, sweetie, that's a really bad idea, we don't even know-"

"What if we adopted her, once she's born?" The ash-haired woman gestured to the unborn child in Melinda's stomach.

"You would... you would do that?" Melinda asked hopefully. She trusted Amanda, even if she was stubborn and argumentative, she was her best friend. And if they adopted her, then she could still check up every once in a while and see how her daughter is growing up?

"No-"

"Yes!" Amanda overrid her husband's protest. Ted sighed and rolled his eyes in defeat.

"We're going to need a lot of parenting books..." he muttered.

Melinda thrust her arms around Amanda. "Oh, thank you! I can never make this up to you!" She exclaimed. Amanda chuckled.

"What are friends for?" She tenaciously put her own hand on her friend's baby bump. They both burst into giggles, just as they had when they were in high school.

"What are you going to name her?" Ted asked.

Melinda stopped laughing and had a thoughtful look on her face. "I... hm... well, Ichiro and I had a different name picked out, but I don't want him to know who she is. What about... Melissa? I've always liked that name. It was my mother's middle name." She suggested.

Amanda frowned. "Isn't that kind of close to your name, and Miscela? Could that put her in danger, give away who she is?" She questioned.

Melinda chuckled and smiled. "I think it's sneaky. Ichiro won't know until it's too late. I want her to be my daughter, not his."

Then the expecting mother looked up and met Amanda's eyes again. "Amanda, promise me you'll keep her safe."

Her best friend nodded immediately, determination setting in her face. "Without a doubt."

——————————

Word count: 1180

Yknow, for having nothing more about Melinda’s character than her name, I really don’t mind how I wrote this. It could be totally off from what her character might actually be like, but it’s interesting to think about Melissa’s origin with her parents

#magiclicas #qutejakey #i mean we already know that amanda knows melinda from s2 #ted needs parenting books

[prodegy-pines]

Mun Meme

Rules: Answer questions you are given, create 11 of your own, and tag 11 people. Tagged by: @ghostlyheropoltergeist Tagging: @jeff-the-gnome-king @field-of-rxses @billcipherrp @bluemxndss @bolotiesandjournals @all-seeing-all-knowing-eye @dipperpinesheadsintotheunknown @ao-de-shizukana @bill-cipher-triangle @theglitterytwin @embersiisms 1. How old were you when you first started writing? I was fourteen. It was horrible. I'm write love stories and shit, but I didn't know how to paragraph shit back then so it was all just jumbles of words together. 2. When and in what fandom were you in when you first started RP? I was fifteen and I knew how to paragraph shit a bit. I was in the fandom of South Park and only Roleplayed Craig because Craig is my spirit animal. 3.On what platform did you first do RP? I was texting with my friend Aja before she told me about tumblr and then I made an account and just started roleplaying. 4.What are some alternate or other muses you’ve written in the past, or are still writing now in another place? If there are none, then who do you wish you had a muse for? Oh god, so many. Too many to list. So I wish I had the muse for Rad or Ernesto from ok k.o. I also wish I had the muse for evil Morty. I mean I do, but the drive to rp him comes and goes. I wish it weren't really like that. The main other muse I rp though besides Mason and Bill is Max from camp camp. 5. If you were to write a book, then what do you think it might be about? If you have no idea, list a story concept you’ve seen in another book or thing you like! I'm not sure, but it would be my own world entirely. It would be filled with weird characters, some insane and some sane. The lead character would be schizophrenic and it would be in the perspective of him basically just surviving amongst this weird world and it would show the odd logic he has. A lot of cool fight scenes and cartoonish moments. It would be funny, but also have real heart wrenching moments and very dark moments too. 6. What cliches get you good, and which ones make you cringe? Hate/love relationships get me good. I don't really have any that make me cringe. I guess except gender bent ones now. 7. Do you believe in equality over all spectrums? Of course! I am the least person to judge others. 8. What do you think would be elements of a good dystopian world? Chaos. Basically a corrupt government that lies to it's people and controls the population. Law would be very corrupt and confusing. The laws would be out of whack so that innocent people would be jailed while the guilty would roam free. Fights would go on a lot and people would do almost nothing to stop it. Shit like that. 9. Do you think that a utopia can have both freedom of thought and overall peace at the same time? Well, no. It's sad but it's true. Our world has proved that. 10. What is something that you wish for with every fiber of your being? I want to help people. I also want to create something from my own mind and share it with people. I want to show people what I can do and what I can create out of nothing. 11. If you could have one object, anything in the world, what would it be? Don’t think too hard about it, just whatever comes to your mind first! This might sound stupid, but there's this character in ok k.o. Named Darrel. So there's a shirt online and like..it's filled with a bunch of pics all around of shirt of Darrel's face and I need it. No one understands lmao. Questions: 1. What do you want the most out of life? 2. What is the most important thing to you? It could be anything from an object to something like peace. 3. What got you to rp in the first place? 4. Think of the one person you hate the most in your life. If that person legitimately needed help, would you help them out? 5. Is there any ships that you're embarrassed to admit that you ship? 6. What song is the most important to your or strikes the deepest chord with you? 7. What ship are you the most obsessed about currently? 8. What are your pet peeves when it comes to roleplaying? 9. Who is the most important person in your life? 10. What brings your mood up when you feel down? 11. What is your favorite book?

#ooc

[creative-type]

The Justice of One Piece

So I was working on my next post in my ongoing analysis of Nico Robin and was reminded that this human stain existed, and it got me thinking about how justice is portrayed in One Piece

Justice is an abstract enough term that it can mean just about anything. There are connotations of fairness, righteousness, law, and goodness within the definition, but at the end of the day justice is giving someone what they deserve.

Since justice - especially Absolute Justice - is so important when analyzing Robin’s backstory I thought it would be good to do a write up on some of the various ways justice is interpreted and implemented within the world of One Piece. 

This isn’t meant to be exhaustive, because justice as an ideal is deeply personal and varies greatly from character to character. I will, however, try to hit some of the high points.

The Rise of Absolute Justice

Ideologies do not spring up in a vacuum. Most people don’t wake up in the morning murdering deserters and blowing up evacuation ships for fun (more on Sakazuki later) - certain events have to unfold before extreme measures are considered normative. In this case, the line of thinking that leads to Absolute Justice can be traced back to Gold Roger. Specifically, the Pirate Era that he kicked off

Just as there’s a difference between New Age and Old Age pirates, so also can there be a difference seen between the marines of Roger’s era and those who came after. 

While is some overlap between the two and the events at Ohara/Ace’s birth suggest that the root of Absolute Justice go far beyond Roger’s death, Sengoku, Garp, and Tsuru all are portrayed as more moderate than Sakazuki and his followers. The seas were different then. The Grand Line had yet to be fully explored, the technological advances brought on by Vagapunk hadn’t been developed, and there were fewer pirates.

This shift in mindset can be seen in Franky’s flashback when we learn that Tom’s trail was somewhat unusual in that shipwrights aren’t normally prosecuted for building ships for pirates.

In addition, while Sengoku ordered the Oharan Buster Call we can assume that he was also provided order for evacuation as well. The bombardment was extreme, yes, but it was ostensibly targeting guilty.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the attack on Ohara was meant to be a warning to the rest of the world. The so-called enemy were civilians and academics, a group hardly known for their fighting prowess. A ground attack would have done the job just as easily without any of the collateral damage. In fact, Spandine’s Cipher Pol agents were able to subdue all the archaeologists by themselves and the only one who fought back was Olvia.

The Elder Stars respected Professor Clover and the scholars of the Tree of Knowledge. They - not Sengoku - gave the order to attack only after Professor Clover wouldn’t shut up about the Void Century, and they didn’t look too happy about the outcome.

Roger’s death and the destruction of Ohara take place in the same year. That’s an incredible amount of turmoil in a short amount of time. In the wake of so much uncertainty it’s little wonder that the rigid, unyielding ideal of Absolute Justice rose to the top. 

Sakazuki was already an extremist during the Ohara incident. What we don’t see is any change in ideology in the twenty year interim. If anything, he gets worse. When facing a deserter during the Marineford War, he kills him on the spot. There is no remorse or mercy, only the meting of punishment with himself acting as judge, jury, and executor. 

Aristotle postulated that any virtue in excess becomes vice. We see in Absolute Justice a justice devoid of mercy or compassion, where there is only the most severe punishment no matter the crime. It is justice without fairness, goodness, or even regard to the law (deserters are generally tried and dishonorably discharged/imprisoned. Battlefield executions are a no-no). It cannot be called righteous, as it targets innocents and ignores the greater moral issues of slavery and the cruel rule of the Celestial Dragons. Absolute Justice brooks no compromise and cannot be argued with, for to question it is to question the World Government itself.

And just like the events surrounding Roger’s death encouraged Absolute Justice, the popularity of Absolute Justice in turn encourages greater extremes in order to keep the peace, which brings me back to Spandam

CP9 and Dark Justice

The Dark Justice of CP9 is the logical evolution of Absolute Justice. It takes everything we’ve already seen and adds an emphasis on military might, with a hefty dose of pragmatism mixed in to boot.

Spandam is an utterly reprehensible piece of garbage, but I find him fascinating because for all his faults - of which there are many - he’s not stupid, nor is he incompetent. It’s easily forgotten, but it was Spandam who convinced the World Government to go after the Ancient Weapons in the first place

Where Absolute Justice seeks to squash criminals with the heel of their boot, Dark Justice fights fire with fire. It’s hard to say how much of this Spandam actually believes and how much of it is him angling for a promotion, but there’s no doubt that he thinks Robin’s first and greatest crime is simply existing. Absolute Justice says she must die, but that doesn’t stop Spandam from wanting to use her for his own ends first.

Spandam was going to keep Robin alive for exactly the amount of time it took him to extract all her “useful knowledge”, and we know that he wasn’t above torturing her to get what he wanted. After accidentally calling for a Buster Call against Enies Lobby he justified himself by saying if ten thousand marines had to die to cover up his mistake protect the world, then those ten thousand should die without question. 

So Dark Justice is all about using the end to justify the means, but it doesn’t end there. It’s not good enough to simply not be evil, you have to be strong enough not to let evil overcome. We see this a little with Spandam’s obsession to revive the Ancient Weapons, but Lucci displays it better in the form of his backstory.

Because of pacing issues, Oda only put a truncated version of Lucci’s backstory in the manga, although it was expanded upon in the anime. To make a long story short, when he was a teenager Lucci killed five hundred soldiers that were being held hostage by a group of pirates. Their weakness that led them to being captured was their crime, and they paid in blood for their mistake.

Dark and Absolute Justice meet at the Marineford War, where Ace is punished for the crime of being Roger’s son. Chapter 550 is very clear in this regard. Ace isn’t being publicly executed for his own actions as a pirate, the property he has destroyed, or the people he’s undoubtedly killed with his Devil Fruit, but for who his father is. By the World Government’s logic, it’s a case of nature over nurture - Ace was destined for villainy no matter what, so you might as well kill him for his original sin. 

Their logic is undone when the war continues well after Ace and Whitebeard’s deaths.

Here the marines have obtained their objectives and have bigger things to worry about than an insignificant rookie like Luffy. Their bloodlust doesn’t stop until the corrupt, twisted justice of the marines is tempered with a bit of sense, kindly provided by Coby.

Of course Sakazuki almost kills him for it, but, hey, it’s the thought that counts

This is one of the few times we see Absolute and/or Dark Justice challenged from within the marines, and one of, if not the only, time we see a more moderate position “win”. It marks the beginning of a “third wave” of justice ideology. 

Coby, Smoker, and Fujitora represent the counter-movement against the likes of Sakazuki and Spandam, and it will be interesting to see how they fit into the series going forward. I think I’ll cover these more moderate views of justice in another post. 

Until then, thanks for reading. I’ll try to get back to Robin next time, specifically the parallels between her backstory and the events of the Enies Lobby arc.

#One Piece #Manga #Analysis #Justice #Absolute Justice #Dark Justice #Spandam #Sakazuki #Akainu #Marineford #creative-type analyzes

[marypsue]

For the DVD commentary meme: can you do "Rewind", please?

From this meme!

Rewind (2963 words, published February 6, 2016)

This fic was written all in one go shortly after…I believe it was the second promo trailer for the finale aired? Whichever trailer first showed us the clip of Ford in Bill’s study, in chains. I had been on board the Fucked-Up Mutually Destructive Billford train for a while (and actually read and had all the emotions over all of the fics that you’d posted in English by that point, which reminds me again that I really need to go back and leave comments on a bunch of things), but this was the first time I actually dipped my own toes in those waters. Credit where credit is due, it was also partially inspired by a fanart on here that I can no longer find, in which Bill forced time punch down Ford’s throat to de-age him, mostly, as far as I could tell, for the sake of pretty. It seemed like something that could be expanded on, though, there were all kinds of possibilities for how it might all go sideways.

This is the only thing I’ve ever written with Bill as the narrator. It was a lot of fun to try to look at things from his warped perspective, to try to figure out the kinds of justifications he’d use on himself. It also gave me a lot more leeway to hide his true feelings in plain sight - whether you see it as romantic or not, I do think he honestly, canonically, enjoyed Ford’s company, even if only because Ford was fun to tease and was appropriately worshipful but had absolutely no fear of Bill (at least, at first). I think he liked the power he had over Ford, at the very least, and losing that would’ve upset him more than he’d want to admit, even to himself. Using Bill as the narrator also let me keep things light and kind of jokey on the surface, which is one of my favourite ways for writers to deliver horror. I just think it’s so effective and chilling when it’s done well.

“AND THAT’S ALL YOU REALLY WANT, RIGHT? SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU TO TELL YOU IT’S OKAY, YOU’RE FORGIVEN?”

I don’t know whether there’s a psychological term for it, but Ford, in canon, is obsessed with heroic sacrifice. I haven’t read the Journal yet, but his words and his actions in the series seem, to me, to show somebody who’s let his regret for his past mistakes overwhelm him to the point where he feels that the only way he can really set things right and restore his worth as a person is to obliterate himself in the process. I was really proud and pleased with this line because it’s Bill’s nod to religion, referencing the way he thinks about Ford worshipping him, but it’s also Bill skewering Ford’s entire desire to atone for and correct his mistakes and restore himself as a ‘hero’, and twisting it around to be about Bill himself again. I meant it to show both how destructive that thought process could be, how Bill makes everything about him and how corruptive that can be for Ford, but also how Bill understands almost better than Ford does - and yet, still fundamentally misunderstands - what matters to Ford and what’s going on in his head.

But where once Ford would have been yapping away (betrayal! Trust! Friendship! Common human decency! Hilarious), instead, he’s just silent.

Ford is…a little out of character in this one, in that I’ve written him as more resigned and taciturn than he ever was regarding Bill in canon. It’s kind of necessary for the story to advance, but there it is. 

Actually, both the Stans are more volatile in their anger than I think they often get portrayed as in fic. Stan especially often responds to triggers to his depressive episodes, in fic, by immediately retreating into himself, which makes sense and is a perfectly valid characterisation, but I’d like to see more of him immediately reacting with anger and defensiveness before he retreats and starts blaming himself, because he does that such a lot in canon and it’s not such an easily acceptable/sympathetic reaction.

Anyway! That’s off topic. Ford is also a little OOC in that he actually keeps information from Bill in this one, instead of automatically blurting it out while trying to defend himself. Aww, Ford.

“Wha- Bill!” Stanford gasps, his eyes wide and wild behind the lenses of his glasses, a trickle of time punch still glittering down his chin.

I personally think Bill made him drink it. Just 'cause.

…best idea Bill’s had since the Great Pyramid or maybe Toblerone…

I love looking for little pieces of Bill’s influence throughout history. Or, y'know, inventing them, because Bill Cipher isn’t real. Y'know.

- right. The barrier. The whole point.

Bill tries to lie to himself, he really does, but he misses his favourite emotional punching bag and he can’t deny it.

“AND LUCKY FOR YOU, I’M A VERY FORGIVING PARALLELOGRAM!…”

I could tell you that I realised that a triangle is not a parallelogram, and that I left this line in anyways because it was a nod to the fact that Bill is lying through his teeth. It would even be true. But the fact of the matter is still that I forgot, for a solid hour while I was writing this fic, that a triangle is not in fact a parallelogram. Whoops.

“OH, YEAH, THAT.” Bill hadn’t really thought this far.

I don’t know that Bill even knows whether he’s telling himself the truth here or not. Is he just reacting to his own, unacknowledged, emotional response to losing his favourite toy and making it up as he goes along? Is he really an expert chessmaster, coldly and calculatedly manipulating Ford into a position where Ford will be more than willing to give him the equation he really wants? Who knows? Not the reader! (Also not the author. Some things remain a mystery even to me.)

Part of the initial idea for this fic was that the Pineses would arrive to rescue Ford and kick Bill out of their dimension, only to find Ford young again, blindly devoted to Bill, and deeply distrustful of all of them. I didn’t have a particular direction for it, though, so I scrapped it, which I think ended up being a good decision story-wise. I did toy with using a similar concept (involving the theory from after TLM that Ford didn’t actually have a metal plate in his head and Bill just used a hyperreal dream to convince him he did so he’d let his guard down) for the ending of the Grauntie Ford series, but again, it got unwieldy and directionless and I cut it and reworked the ending for the sake of the story. Maybe someday I’ll figure out an actual direction to take the concept and write a short fic about it. Maybe it’ll remain forever a shadow of an idea. Who knows.

#chatter #i am here for tea and chess and complete disaster