#but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough

[lamentofabramo]

Can I get an NSFW alphabet for Tobias Rogers (ticci toby) 🫶

I've been doing a bigger piece, so I might as well do something smaller like this since it's been a good while since I've posted now. (oops)

I'm basing this less on the fandom vers of him, hopefully.

Didn't proofread this much. (edit: I feel bad that I didn't acknowledge the heart, so <3 of course you can doll)

MINORS DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Toby obviously is one of the more caring of the creepypasta's, of course that's a low bar, but he is considerably more human than some of them. He's still gruff and fairly untalkative after the deed, yet he'd offer some water before leaving if you were just a one-off/ casual fuck.

If you were his partner however, I'd imagine he'd be more caring, still untalkative and unaffectionate, but maybe he'd hold you or hold your hand in this. Of course, he'd blame this on being unable to properly feel what he's holding, but the slow decrease in his twitches as he holds you speaks a lot more than he ever will. He's not comfortable, but he feels slightly less stress in your presence, at least until he has to leave, his mind penetrated by the voice of the foreboding presence of the ever-taller man.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His own favourite body part would probably be his arms, he was a scrawny kid for most of his life, but you sure would start gaining muscle if you swung your axe at people who you considered worthy of it. There's probably also some scars across his arms that remind him of his life before. Of course, he'd hate that idea, but he still has some attachment to his sister, his mother, no matter how hard he may try to push it out of his head.

For his favourite part of his partners, I feel like it'd most likely be your waist. It's something for him to grab, to hold onto to remember you're real, that you're still alive against his better judgement.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) If you asked for it in a specific place, sure he'd do it if he was in a good mood. On your chest, ass, inside even. He'd risk it, he had nothing to truly lose anyway. But his favourite place would most likely be on your stomach, just the wet streaks across your stomach would do things for him. He's not sure why either, he wouldn't register that he does that almost every time unless you pointed it out to him.

If you did, he'd probably consider why for a second, his eyes widening in realization before shrugging. "Any better ideas?" he'd mumble, absently listening as he stroked himself. Toby would listen if you told him anywhere else, but… his eyes focused on that smooth surface.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He secretly wants to push the boundaries of his condition. He wants your hands around his neck, trying to choke him until it hurt. It was strange really, he had a high pain tolerance, yet he craved this pain. Maybe it was because he wanted to be normal, maybe not. He didn't want to think too hard on it, like many other things he just shrugged at the idea and continued with his life.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Toby was definitely not an experienced guy, even before the accident where he finally became 'free' (If you could say being slenderman's lackey was free) the most he'd done was hold hands with a girl in primary school.

He wouldn't be insecure with it however, he never viewed himself as a sexual being, the most he'd ever fucked was his fist on particularly rough nights. Sure, he'd had crushes on women, but when you become a serial killer you go one of two ways. A sex maniac or a complete recluse. Unfortunately, Toby became the latter.

However, since he had a less than regular childhood, he was never able to go through the same sexual awakenings as many of his peers. Instead, that most likely came later, so when he met you he was awkward, like a teenage boy. Most of his language is through grumbles and grunts anyway.

When he realized you were stuck in his head it all changed though, his sex drive increased massively. His poor hand.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Cowgirl probably rocks his world, he loves that intense eye contact that comes with it. The way he looks up at you through his fringe, his mouth slightly open as he pants and grunts, is a reward in itself. However, he would get impatient, his hips thrusting up to meet yours or his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you down further on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) If something was funny to him, then he'd smirk, like if you hid your body from him even though he was about to be deep inside of you.

When he gets further into the activity, he'd let out breathless laughs, sometimes blaming that on his tics. He couldn't help it, though, he loved the way you responded to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Toby probably doesn't care much about how groomed he is, sometimes he'll shave, but other than that he's got whatever going on.

He has a small happy-trail up to his belly button though, it shows when he raises his axe too high. It's a dark brown colour, just like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) He's probably not particularly intimate, maybe some words here or there if he feels like it, but don't overestimate him too much. He probably came inside you before he kissed you.

His cheeks pinken slightly whenever you suggest kissing, but he quickly slouches and looks away with an almost childish pout to pretend as though he doesn't care.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Like I said in the earlier one, sure he jacked off every now and again, but it was more so a way to pass the time, to get some serotonin in his ever-pleasant life. But when he gets fixated on something, or rather in your case, someone, his sex drive spikes. He wants you in his hands, in his vice, it frustrates him, so he takes this frustration out on himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He's probably degrading, mixed with praise. He's basically up for anything. He's killed someone, I'm sure a weird kink won't kill him.

However, if he does think your kinks are unusual he will take the piss out of you for it, teasing, but he still takes part in it. Its fun.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do) Wherever you want, he's not arsed, really. Against a tree sounds the most fun.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) As cheesy as this sounds, you. Maybe some aggression on your side would get him going too, that mouth of yours was lethal sometimes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Like I said before, he's practically up for anything. He might not be physically aggressive for you too much, though, it'd remind him of his past.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's a munch, if he's in the mood enough, he could probably cum from giving you head. He'd deny that though, God that'd be embarrassing.

Not only that, but he'd receive too, no doubt, Toby would find it fun to just gently tug your head up and down on his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Toby would probably be slow but deep if he's teasing you. But if he's just fucking you, then it'd be fast, his hands pulling you down on his cock with faster speed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Hell yeah brother. Just give him the words, he might tease you for it, but he'd never say no (unless he's in a more depressive mood).

He'd love to fuck you in the back of his car too, or masky's car. Just for the hell of it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) He's a risky guy, but surprisingly, he wouldn't do anything that could get him potentially caught by the law. He's on the run for a reason, he's not willing to risk his freedom for a good fuck (sometimes).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) He'd probably like to overstimulate slightly, 2/3 rounds before he's clocked out and completely dry. He'd last an average enough time, 20 minutes normally.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Seeing your body twitch with something that isn't him would make him jealous. However, a little vibrator never hurt anyone. He'd tease you if you had any dildos or anything, though, asking pettily if he "wasn't enough" or that you were "stretching yourself out" for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Big tease, but he always fulfils your wants. It may take a while, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) The only noise he really makes is grunting and whispers on how dirty you are. He's loud enough that you can hear him, but not loud enough for it to be a full-blown moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He does want to see how you'd look crying for him all bloodied up, most likely someone else's blood, but he's not picky. Maybe fucking you on top of a recently deceased.

But he'd never admit that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) An average to slightly bigger man, About 6.4 inches. Probably measured it one time when he was bored, and he hung onto the .4 for his ego.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Not too high unless you exist, then…as much as he can get his hands on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't sleep much after it, doesn't feel comfortable sleeping in front of others, even someone like you. His nightmares don't help.

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby #tobias erin rogers #tobias rogers #smut alphabet #x reader #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers

[thevioletcaptain]

if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:

don't ❤️ 

#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!! #popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends #and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it #like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y'' #or ''why is fic c even in this poll?'' #nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular'' #a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3 #anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around #and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!! #because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!! #so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers #but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing #and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore #cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST #or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something #don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it #and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses #but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough #ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it #(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related) #gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today #cass says things #fandom problems #wank adjacent

[afterglowkatie]

everything will be okay | l.w.

leah williamson x reader | 1.6k | leah takes care of you after you tear your acl

ˏˋ°•*⁀acl mentions :( i had the base of this written when i was out from basketball for a long time with an injury so it seemed fitting to turn it into a leah fic

Leah couldn’t help but feel bad as she watched you struggle to get around on crutches. She knew how it felt and couldn’t help but feel like she was responsible for you ending up like this. You and Leah were at training, running through your usual drills when you had been running after the ball trying to stop Leah from reaching it when she gave you a little bump. That little bump where you had lost your footing slightly was all it took for a sudden sharp pain to tear through your leg from your knee. You cried out collapsing to the ground while holding your knee. Having gone through this already Leah’s stomach dropped and she was quick to get you help.

Leah was there by your side the entire time, refusing to leave no matter who it was trying to tell her that she didn’t need to be there. You were grateful to have Leah there holding your hand through every scan and test that needed to happen. Leah was there to hold you and wipe away your tears while your heart sunk and the world became a blur when you were told you had torn your acl. Leah kept you grounded

This last year you had seen many of your teammates go through this injury, and with helping Leah through it, you knew how the next year was going to go for you. Though nothing could prepare you for how it actually felt to go through it. It had been about four months since having torn your acl and nothing was getting any easier. You were convinced everything was getting harder, if that was even possible. 

You hated having to rely on those around you, even if they constantly reassured you that it was fine and they were happy to help you. And to top it all off you still hadn’t figured out how to properly use the crutches you were given. Your frustrations towards your injury kept growing but Leah was doing everything she could to take care of you and make sure you were okay. You were sure that she had stopped going out as much and seeing her friends just so she could stay home to take care of you and make sure your recovery went as smoothly as possible. 

It only added to the frustration and guilt you felt. You weren’t used to being so dependent on others. Though you never complained and never wanted to seem ungrateful because you were immensely grateful for Leah’s help. Just by being her and being around you it would make each day so much better. She was the only thing that could bring you happiness in your current state.

Today was another day that drained even more of your already quite low energy and mental strength. Another day of rehab and physio and another week of being told your recovery wasn’t moving along as fast as you had hoped. You knew it wasn’t right but you couldn’t help to compare yourself to the others that had already gone through this. Comparing your recovery to theirs and wondering what more you could be doing to be at the same place they were around this time. 

In your rational mind you knew that everyone’s bodies were different and everyone took different times to repair and recover. It still didn’t stop you from feeling like you were falling behind. Every time your potential return to even just running again got pushed back it took a big toll on you mentally. Afraid everyone was going to give up on you the longer it took for you to recover, afraid that you would get replaced and not have a spot in the team to come back to. It was bound to happen soon that you would also give up on yourself.

‘Here let me,’ Leah got out of the car once you had returned to your apartment, going around to your side to help you out of the car. Taken back when you pushed her hand off of you, not used to you refusing any help.

‘I can do it,’ Your words came out more harsh than anticipated. It was the first time you had spoken to Leah since your session and her training had ended. Leah wasn’t hurt at your tone, just surprised. After all, she knew better than anyone what you were going through. She understood how hard this sort of injury can be mentally, especially on a player at the peak of their career just like you were. Finally having made your way into being a regular in the starting eleven, to have an injury to this extent where you would have to eventually prove yourself worthy of that starting line up once again.

Leah watched as you struggled to get out of the car and inside the apartment, taking a step back knowing a little bit of space is what you needed. Though she desperately wanted to help you and make your life easier. You let out a frustrated groan as you sat on the edge of your bed, haphazardly throwing your crutches down on the floor next to you before dropping your head to rest in your hands.

‘Baby,’ Leah whispered out softly while she slowly approached you, ‘talk to me, please’ Leah was concerned. You could tell and hear the desperation that laced her voice while she gently took your hands in hers and pulled them away from your face. She had been there the whole time, seeing how you had recently started to withdraw from everyone around you. Your arsenal teammates asking Leah how you were doing since they had stopped hearing from you. Leah knew you were struggling. You didn’t want to confide in anyone, feeling like you were already enough of a burden having to rely on someone now.

You knew that Leah understood how you were feeling and it should be easy to confide in her, but somehow that made it all harder for you. You shook your head and closed your eyes tight, refusing to look in front of you. Leah sighed softly, standing up to sit next to you on the bed, wrapping her arms around you and gently pulling you into her side, ‘I’m here for you,’ You didn’t know why but hearing Leah utter those words had you breaking down instantly.

‘Le,’ You cried out softly, tears pricking your eyes as you remembered what you had been told earlier that day, ‘It’s going to take longer than we thought,’ Your voice was barely above a whisper. Dropping your head so it was laying against Leah’s shoulder looking down where she was absentmindedly playing with your fingers. The softness of her hands against yours had started to calm you down, though it didn’t stop the thoughts racing around in your mind, ‘What if I never fully recover. I don’t think I can handle never stepping onto the pitch again, never getting to be back with the team,’ 

‘Oh baby,’ Leah sighed out, a sad smile on her face, thankful that you were finally talking to her about how you were feeling, ‘You’re so strong, stronger than you think. You are going to be okay. Everything will be okay. Don’t think too much about the future and try to take each day as they come,’ 

‘I’m scared, Le. I don’t want to lose all of this. I don’t want to lose the team and I don’t want to lose you,’ Your teammates at arsenal and Leah were some of the most important people in your life. You dedicated most of your life towards football and if it suddenly disappeared from you, you didn’t know what you’d do without it. What good were you to your friends if you couldn’t play again.

‘You won’t lose any of this, any of us. You’re smart babe, if you can’t return as a player I’m sure there will be another way you can still be involved in football,’ Leah smiled while holding you close to her. Her hands giving yours a little squeeze, ‘And you definitely won’t lose me,’ Leah leaned close to give you a small kiss on your cheek, one that had your frown turning into an almost instant small smile.

‘How can you be so sure?’ Turning your head to look up at Leah, feeling your cheeks heat up seeing how softly she was looking at you. Your smile takes over more of your face the longer you both look at each other. Leah was happy to be seeing the smile she loved so much again. 

‘Love, arsenal we’re like a family and you know that. Families don’t just throw each other away just because we’re injured. You aren’t the exception, everyone loves you. Though I obviously love you the most,’ Leah gave you a soft kiss on your lips, ‘You couldn’t get rid of me babes, even if you tried,’ Leah playfully squeezed your sides while you let out a small chuckle at her words already feeling a lot better than you previously had been.

You stayed wrapped in Leah’s embrace, enjoying the way she felt comforting and safe. The day had taken a lot out of you, so much you had forgotten to eat until your stomach loudly reminded you. Leah laughing and lightly poking at your stomach, ‘How does some food sound?’

‘As long as you’re not the one cooking it,’ Leah feigned hurt at your words before you both fell into an uncontrollable laughter. 

‘Don’t worry, I have my personal chef on speed dial,’ Leah held up her phone showing your favourite restaurant's name already up on her screen. You just shook your head at her, burying yourself even more into her side. As long as you had Leah there by your side you felt as though you could more willingly accept the help that Leah and your friends gave you. You’d learn that you aren’t a burden to anyone. And most importantly, no matter where you were at with recovery even if you were to never fully recover, you would be okay. Everything will be okay.

#leah williamson x you #leah williamson fluff #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #arsenal wfc #awfc #woso one shot #woso community #woso fanfics #woso soccer #arsenal women #woso x reader #woso imagine

[tyttamarzh]

Missasinfonia, songs and QSMP…

Hello!! Well, since we all continue to miss Missa, I want to share a little thought.

I don't know if it has already been talked about here, but in the Hispanic fandom of Missa we have his songs very present and some people have not been able to avoid talking about how some of them adapt perfectly to the QSMP.

I want to talk about two in particular whose lyrics I think are perfect for describing Missa's relationship with his family.

The first one is called "Privilegios" (privileges) and I think it describe what Missa is currently going through with Philza. Well, it talks about the anxiety of feeling insufficient for the other and trying to improve but feeling afraid of moving forward (the young Missa from 2014 wrote very deep lyrics). I remember that in a stream he told us about how several of his songs came about and said that he wrote "Privilegios" thinking about us, the people who follow him, because he didn't feel enough for us and is why he always try to do things better. Either way, I think he's perfect for describe his situation with Phil.

The song:

Lyrics

Sometimes I forget my sorrows and things I should do Because ideas slip away, they do not allow us to see Well creating something new means forgetting I would like to be like before and go back to the past

I know how to write the word mature very well But my thoughts don't let me act I don't want to forget, I don't ask for your mercy Because honestly I can fix it.

Chorus I don't know what to do if you're not okay (you're okay!) I don't know whether to lie to me or throw myself at your feet I wonder if I can deserve you Because I didn't earn the privilege.

How can I destroy damn anxiety? If outside my mind is my reality It is not so easy to wish others ill. just so I can free myself

The second song I want to talk about is called "Tarde para el plan B" (Late for Plan B) and I think it could be a message from Missa to Chayanne, some of the things he mentions remind me of what Missa told him in that day of fishing before travel to Japan. He talks about how it's okay to fail and that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by his mistakes, and encourages him to keep going and get better. There is also a phrase that I like to think is very much theirs, since it infers that even if they are not together, he will always see him. Now every time I hear that song I think of them and I can't help it u.u (It's a song created 10 years ago, but I think it's fits perfectly).

The song:

Lyrics

Have you ever wondered… what could happen if after the years, you could come back to the past? Would you have the chance to see what is wrong the bad memories you would be able to erase.

Enjoy moments you didn't see coming feel from the beginning what you should feel but remorse can cut you and repenting would be the final act

Look for alternatives, see how to improve May you know how to handle your situations You don't always get a second chance. you must take advantage of what time gives you

If they give you their hand, don't take our foot don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning You don't run when you want to calm down do something your soul can bear

[PRE CHORUS] And it's not that it's bad, it could be worse. What doesn't kill you makes you better.

And listen to me, here I will be, watching your actions wherever you are.

sometimes the reasons chase me but they don't want to catch me Sometimes actions are what will count, but you won't count. I prove that what I say is true It's your problem if you don't want to change but honestly sometimes everyone can fail

In the hope that everything is fine There are ideas within your being that grow and create the bad decision than wanting to correct what has already happened

Do what you need to make you feel better. Defeat your demons, destroy that pain Errors exist to know what someone else could fall into

and it's not that it's bad, it could be worse What doesn't kill you makes you better

listen to me, I will be here watching your actions wherever you are

My favorite phrase from this song is: "don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning" (I just like how deep it sounds xD)

And that's all for now, I've never created a post here, I hope it's okay. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts. Greetings!!

#deathduo #pissa #missasinfonia #missa #chayanne the egg #qsmp #philza #Youtube

[hayleythesugarbowl]

your smosh writing gives me life! if you have time please write something for courtney, i don’t mind if it’s a blurb or a fic or additional headcanons i just love them

Kiss the Nurse || Courtney Miller x reader

⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist • sick!courtney miller x reader ⋆୨୧˚

summary: courtney takes care of you when you’re sick and is rewarded with a kiss from their patient

word count: 0.6k

warnings: mild sick fic

a/n: tysm for the request babes, this idea just kind of came to me and I hope you enjoy this…blurb? oneshot? it seems to long for the former but to short for the latter. im so bad at fic categories but i did some digging and I think this qualifies as a ficlet? anyways enjoy !!🍒💌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     “I’m going to have to check your temperature.”

     You groaned, slouching farther down on the couch and pulling your blanket up tighter around you. Well, blankets. Between the blankets atop you and the pillows behind your head, you probably could have made several bed sets.  

     Courtney stood over you, thermometer in hand, with an impatient expression on their face. 

     “Can you at least drink some liquids then?” They asked you, stepping closer to the edge of the couch.

     You pulled the blanket nearest to your hands up over your head.

     “No,” you mumbled.

     They rolled their eyes at you, smiling at your stubbornness. “Something to eat?”

     You didn’t answer them. Maybe you would get lucky and they would just think that you had simply fallen asleep. 

     “Kiss me?”

     That got your attention. You peeked your head out of your blanket fortress. Courtney was smiling at you, proud to have got a reaction at least.

     “Courtney, I’m sick remember?” You gestured to the tissues littering the floor next to you. In all likelihood, Courtney was probably doomed already as she’d spent all day playing nurse to you. 

     “No, really? I forgot,” they said, looking at you and grinning. “It’s not as if you’ve been laying here for the past 3 days.”

     You coughed. “Two. Two days.”

     “And haven’t I been a good nurse for those thr—two days?” They teased.

     You smiled, you couldn’t help it. “I’ve had better.”

     They clutched their chest in mock offense. 

     “Now I definitely need a kiss, just for that,” Courtney pouted. 

     For all your teasing, Courtney had taken good care of you. They’d never left your side since you’d said you didn’t feel good. Getting you anything you needed and sitting up with you into the wee hours of the night. You didn’t know what you would have done without her.

     “Court—”

     “You look really pretty when you’re sick,” they tried, batting their eyelashes at you. 

     “You’re impossible,” you said.

     Courtney raised an eyebrow, “Haven’t you ever heard of kiss the nurse?”

     “It’s kiss the cook, Court. And I don’t want you to get sick.”

     “Maybe I don’t care,” they sat down on the edge of the couch next to you, and you scooted your body towards them. Courtney reached towards you and felt your forehead with the back of their hand, taking the thermometer to your brow. 

     “Was this just to get me to let you take my temperature?” You asked them, outrage in your tone but in reality you didn’t care. You wanted them close to you. 

     “Maybe,” they said. “And also this.”

     Courtney leaned forwards and kissed you softly, their hair brushing your cheek as they shifted so their body was hovering over yours…all of which was definitely not helping with your temperature, if you did have a fever. Which you wouldn’t know. Because they’d never told you, you realized, looking at the thermometer discarded on the couch next to Courtney as they pulled away from you and brushed a strand of your hair away from your face, stroking your cheek.

     “Feeling better?” They breathed.

     “Maybe a little,” you smiled, your fingers dancing over their free hand. You leaned towards Courtney, bringing your lips to theirs and kissing them as they had you.

     “Thought you didn’t want to kiss me?” They teased

     “S’pose, you deserve it, for taking care of me,” You said. “Thank you.”

“Anything for my favorite patient,” they said, beaming back at you and kissing you again, all attempts at trying to get you to eat or drink something long since forgotten.

     Some nurse, you thought as you kissed them back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this short little fic!! thank you so much for the request <3🎀

#courtney miller x reader #courtney miller #smosh #smosh x reader #smosh imagine #blurb #fanfiction #reader insert #fanfic #x reader #smosh fanfiction #smosh pit #smosh squad #ficlet

[polyamzeal]

Public Breakup Post

On my personal Facebook I posted a long post about my recent breakup. I am going to cross-post it here as a record of the rawness of polyamorous breakup. I appreciate all sympathy given but honestly I have talked to people a lot about it already. I honestly hope this is more of the opposite that it can help other people going through a breakup or hard times to have something relatable to connect with. Also totally fine if you skip this one and keep on scrolling.

When I first became polyamorous I came to the realization that my relationships are my business. I don’t need to be public about them. I purposely limit how much I post about partners on social media. That is privileged information that I only share with people I trust. If someone wants to know about my relationships they can message me privately. But this time it feels appropriate to share a bit more than usual, so I am making a conscious effort to share for a number of reasons. One of the worst parts of polyamory I always say is the breakups. The last two breakups I stayed mostly or completely quiet about. Those partners were closeted, and combined with that, most people didn’t even know I was dating them or how much they meant to me. Furthermore the most common response a monogamous person will have to a polyamorous person with another partner while going through a breakup is, “What is the big deal, you still have a partner so you aren’t single.” This is incredibly hurtful and inconsiderate. The other common response is for them to say, “See, polyamory doesn’t work”, as if countless monogamous breakups across history wouldn’t show that monogamy doesn’t work. So most of the time it is best to just keep breakups secret and not talk about them. Which really sucks and hurts a lot. But I had a breakup recently, and it seems fitting to not keep this one secret and make it public. It was hard, painful, and I have questioned it ever since. My ex is a great person who I still love very much and want the best for them. I don’t regret the relationship and I have many fond precious memories of it. But recently it had just felt “off” in ways that are hard to explain and recognize. Plus we have both had a lot of personal stress outside our relationship as well. There was still a lot of happiness and great times mixed in but also just a lot of stress and anxiety. I wasn’t happy like I used to be and I just felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship anymore. I am also sure what I wanted has definitely changed since the beginning, also in hard to explain ways. It felt like I was asking for too much out of the relationship. I needed to take a step back and breathe. Focus on my own mental health a bit before I could figure out that particular relationship. Get better at communicating all those hard to explain emotions and expectations. Learn about how I have changed and what I want out of relationships has changed. Sadly, I knew I couldn’t do that while still being in that relationship. It feels unfair to them but I needed to put my own emotional health first before that relationship. One reason I am posting all this is because of society overdramatizing breakups. It makes for good entertainment the more of a dumpster-fire train-wreck a breakup is. But not all breakups need to be like that. Society has told us that if a relationship breaks up then it is labeled a “failure”. THAT IS BULLSHIT! A relationship isn’t deemed a success based on how it ends. The Multiamory Podcast has an important saying as part of their relationship advice, “It is okay to break up.” Also ‘The Polyamory Breakup Book’ by Kathy Labriola gives a ton of examples why people might break up without it being all one person’s fault or someone being bad. A lot of times things just change. People change. I treasure and value that relationship so much. I feel so lucky it happened. They had a positive impact on my life and I hope I did on theirs too. I am sorry that our relationship had changed to this but I am also hopeful that this change will be an evolution, not a downgrade. That right now this is what is best for us and hopefully the future will be bright for us.

#Personal #Breakup #Polyamory

[starsaroundmyscarsblog]

You'll Be Ok

Summary: The Moon Boys comfort you after a hurtful text from your mum.

Also, 'my tears ricochet' is there because I listen to it when I've been hurt by my parents. It's there to listen if you want. Will add some of the lyrics to the oneshot tomorrow morning 😊

⚠️Warnings: Angst. But there is tons of Fluff too. 🥰🩵

Marc/Jake/Steven x reader

Reader is a glass child/emotionally abused

Background Info:

To be honest, I wrote this one for mental healing. The reader is a glass child.

Before you read this, I should explain a few things:

1. I'm a glass child. Remember, child just refers to son/daughter/offspring of. This is as follows

"Glass children are siblings of a person with a disability. The word glass means people tend to see right through them and focus only on the person with the disability. 'Glass' is also used because the children appear strong, but in reality are not. These children have needs that are not being met."

2. In no way am I blaming my sibling for my needs, not being met. It's not her fault, I love her to the moon and back, and literally would do anything for her.

3. Today was also the day I got told by a clinical psychologist (well, technically, I was asking for a "friend") that I was emotionally abused. Said emotional abuse means I have a rocky relationship with my parents - one reason I relate to the moon boys a lot. I am in no way saying my abuse is anywhere near as bad as theirs, just saying I find comfort in them and coming on here and reading stuff about them whe life gets rough.

This oneshot is for all glass /emotionally abused children or children of toxic parents. U ever need to talk, hit me up :).

When you were growing up, all you ever wanted was a break.

Which seemed like a simple enough thing to get, right? Just take a day to yourself, go out with friends or something, maybe have a lie in? But for you, that seemed impossible.

Not when your entire life revolved around your sibling.

And it wasn't like you hated them for it. On the contrary, before you met the moon boys, you'd never loved any one in such a fierce way. It wasn't like you were just their sister. But their protector. Their provider. Came witb being their second parent.

It's not that you particularly minded being their second parent, but sometimes, you wanted to explode because so much, too much responsibility was placed on your shoulders.

It was a strange adjustment living with the Moon Boys, you'd been so used to living with such toxic people, that it felt a little strange to not hear Marc tell you off for not washing the dishes when you had just finished making a meal, or Jake telling you to you didn't have to get up early on Saturday to clean the house, or Steven who telling you to sit and relax after you offered to get his charger, even though you knew you were tired.

With your parents, feelings didn't matter.

It was like they were blind to your feelings. It felt like they appreciated you, all your did for your sibling, but then, as soon as you made a mistake. Nothing you did mattered.

Everything got too much during your senior year. Your grades slipped, work weeks, months overdue. You wanted to leave right then and there. But you couldn’t. Something held you back. Fear of the unknown, you guessed. You ended up breaking down in front of your teachers, and for the time being, your workload decreased a little. You brought your grades back under control. Got better scores on your next set of mock exams. You thought things were finally getting better, changing. That your parents finally understood that you were just a kid.

But you were wearing rose tinted glasses.

You thought your heart was healing from all the pain, but it may as well have been bleeding slowly. The work started to creep up again, and you felt like you were gonna have a another break down, but you couldn't.

Your parents didn't like it when you told over people "family business." So you kept going, kept fighting. You had to hold it together. Were expected to. And besides. This was all for your sibling, who went through pain unimaginable.

Buy you still felt like you were dying everyday.

Even though you never allowed yourself to address it, the real reason you took a gap year wasn't because you needed to "find yourself." It was because you just needed a break. You wanted more time, and with school gone, you could focus on yourself and your US application (you had decided to move as far away from your parents as possible for uni).

Though history had a habit of repeating itself. Your mum seemed to find a way of shoving even more work on your shoulders, like cooking for everyone, on top of looking after your sister and your job. She didn't think you had a right to complain. You did nothing in comparison to your parents, and honestly, it was hard not to believe that.

Desperate to get away, when your US Applications succeeded, you were on the first flight possible. You relished in the new found freedom it brought. No fights, no unnecessary expectations. You were in heaven. Though whenever you went for thw holidays, you were filled with dread at reliving the trauma.

And it wasn't just being worked like a "maid." As a friend told you. That wouldn't bother you too much. It was the constant invalidation as a person. Like you didn't exist.

So you saved up enough money while in college for a flat. Pulling night and day shifts everyday, and your degree. You had too. Towards the end of your final year, you were offered a job at your favourite (company).

You were over the moon on tbe flight home. Things were starting to look up. You had finished your degree, were in your dream carer. Things couldn't be better. Except at home. When you weren’t working, you juggled the task of looking after your sibling, and a set of housework. Until one night in January, it all came to a head. You left in the quiet hours of the morning, with nothing but a text sent to your parents' phones explaining you wouldn't be coming back. Yours blew up with angry, hurt messages, but you ignored them, and the future ones. You stayed with your friend until you found a place to live.

But then came Marc, Steven and Jake, and they changed your life forever.

Like a new morning, they washed away the guilt of the past days, and the sorrows of yesterday. They taught you how to smile again, feel loved, even love yourself.

You all had an instant connection, and in a few months, you had moved in. Now it had been almost a year since you hadn’t met. You couldn’t imagine life going any better. Steven was so thoughtful in a way not even your parents had been, and Marc was gentle, and patient, he never ever shouted at you, or treated you like a kid, and Jake was so tender, just him running your arm made you a blushing mess. You didn’t need them to tell you they’d loved you like you had to head from your parents each night to believe it. You just knew.

You didn't know why you never told them about what happened to you growing up. Marc had eventually opened up to you about his childhood, but you couldn't return the favour. Whenever they asked you about your childhood, and you wanted to open up, somehow the words got lodged in your throat, somehow your brain forgot all the bad things that had happened to you, so you only told them the good. You had informed them that currently you didn't have a relationship with your parents, but for some reason, it scared you to tell them the whole truth.

But of course, there were days your parents really got to you. Like today, your mum who had never stopped texting you, had sent a message a few days ago. She did it every few weeks. Asking how you were, if you were ever gonna come home again. For some stupid reason, you thought she might have changed. They might have changed.

What lies our hearts tell ourselves.

Everything had started fine, but then the blaming had started, then your mum had said that you leaving was unfair and wrong to your family, especially your sibling. That they never deserved that.

And that ate you up inside. You bad promptly informed your mum you were never speaking to her or your dad again, but you couldn't stop thinking about it ever since. It invaded your thoughts, every waking minute. Had you been selfish, leaving your sister like that?

The Moon Boys had all noticed your mood shift, though you brushed it off to feeling tired, of course though, they didn't buy it.

But you couldn't tell them. You couldn't. So when Jake stepped out to the local tesco to by some yoghurt and other things you needed, you lay in bed, headphones on loud, trying to let it all out, so you could forget. Stuff your pain and memories down a mason jar and throw it in an old cupboard in an abandoned building, forever.

The headphones Marc had gotten you must have been really loud, because you didn't hea Jake come in, or call for you in the flat.

'Where is she?' He wondered,

Steven was already going into panic mode

'Relax Steven.' Marc replied 'Maybe she's gone out to Tesco.-

'But she always leaves a note on the fridge.'

'And there's nothing here.' Jake replied before something caught the corner of his eye. Your figure curled up on the bed, sunlight streaming across your face, his face lighting up subconsciously. It was only a moment before he noticed you were crying, and he instantly went over to you, throwing his jacket on one of the chairs. You felt a weight on the bed, and then an arm wrapping around your waist, hugging you close, before a hand pulled the headphones off your ears.

"Cariño," he said gently before you turned around into his chest, hiding your face in his chest as you slowly stopped crying, only aware of how loud your music had been, when you heard it through your headphones on the bed. Jake rubbed your back soothingly until you were just sniffing.

And then, the guilt set in. Guilt was the one thing that hd characterised your time with your parents. It was relentless.

'Marc, Steven, and Jake shouldn't see me like this.' You thought 'I'm being overdramatic.'

Jake rubbed your cheek, soothingly.

"What's wrong amore?" He whispered "Did someone do something to you?"

Whoever it was, he was going to kill them.

You shook your head and sniffed "its not important."

Unable to not bear not being able to comfort you any longer, and worried, Steven fronted. He wrapped both arms around you tighter.

"Love, whatever you're going through, we can help, alright?"

"I don't wanna be a bother."

Steve cupped your face with his hands, "Love, you could never bother us."

You sighed, sitting up, crossing your legs, playing with the duvet.

"It's just my...my parents."

For some reason, Steven felt his heart hammering in his chest. He didn't know why he was this nervous, it was you confessing something, not him. Then he remembered.

Marc.

That word always triggered him. Steven pushed some hair/braids back from your face

"Go on."

"I just." You took a deep breath the tears threatening to spill out again, your voice braking. "They can be so mean sometimes." You whispered, swallowing a huge lump in your throat.

Steven pulled you closer. From what he had gathered, you didn't have the best relationship with your parents, but it sounded better than this. How could they have not known it had been this bad?.

It suddenly dawned on him why you had been acting so distant this week.

"Oh love." Steven whispered, pulling you in again close "Is that why you were upset?"

"Yeah." You mumbled before lifting up your phone, so he could read the messages between you and your mum.

"Here."

'Putos gilipollas' Jake swore, threatening to do some serious damage to private property.

Marc was quiet. Steven worried.

"I didn't even do anything, Steven. I just wanted to... She's my mum. I missed her."

"I know darling." He whispered, kissing your tear stained cheek. "I know."

"Has it always been this bad?" Steven asked after a while, and you nodded back slowly.

For a moment, you felt him tense up, and then the arms wrapped around you dropped. Marc's brown eyes loomed back at you, one look, and it felt like he knew everything.

"Are you mad at me?" You barely whispered

"No baby, I'm not mad at you." He stroked your arm gently."Just wanna know why you didn't tell us?"

You sighed.

"Marc, you and the boys have gone through things unimaginable. It's not just you. People go through worse. I just thought my problems didn't matter much, you know. I was just going through the motions."

Marc took yout oulders in his hands, gripping as tight as he could without hurting you.

"Baby," he sighed "Y/N. Don't everyone think that. Your problems matter, to me, to all of us. We just want you to be happy. We love you."

You smiled, fiddling with the mattress, your cheeks rising with heat.

"Love you too."

Marc pulled you into him, chin on top of your head.

"I guess I should start at the beginning, huh?" You smirked, fiddling with the duvet, then sighed. "My sibling had special needs. I grew up taking care of them, honestly like their 2nd mum, to be honest. I did everything a mum did for them. Cooking for them, feeding them, dressing them, changing them, the works, and more. It was rough sometimes, but it would've been ok if my parents didn't think that I "should be doing this." I don't know if that makes sense."

You sighed taking a deep breath.

"Basically, I wouldn't have minded being a young carer cause other kids are, but it's being this kid's other mum when my mum or dad was right there that got me down. They put all that responsibility on me. I was just a fuckin kid, Marc." You picked up one of his hands, drawing shapes on it "What made it worse is I never truly felt appreciated. It felt like I did everything for that kid, but with my parents, it felt like they didn't care. I got yelled at for insignificant things, like putting a short sleeve shirt on my sibling instead of a long sleeved one, accused of not loving my sibling enough when I made these minor mistakes. I wasnn't allowed to feel tired, got called lazy on a regular basis when all I wanted to do was rest, got told I did 'nothing' around the house, was expected to do things all the time without a fuckin complaint. Was expected to be her mum. My friends kept telling me I was abused and stuff, but I never viewed it as that. It was just what having parents was like, right? I still don't, you know. I just think they're toxic."

You looked up at him briefly, checking if he was still watching, trying to read the expression on his face. Anxiety grew in your heart, worried he would think you were being overdramatic. I mean, everyone looked after their siblings, right?

What if you were taking things too seriously?

"So," you popped your tongue "One day I couldn't take it anymore. I just left. University gave me a relief the time I was there, but when I came home after, it was like I was a kid all over again, just wanting to be free as cliché as that sounds."

Marc was a little shocked, to say the least. He'd never imagined your upbringing like that. He had an idea that things were a little rocky with your parents but not that rough. And whenever you told him about your childhood, you were so happy. No wonder you had seemed so emotionally withdrawn, with parents like that, he wasn't surprised.

Inwardly he kicked himself. Although all the things you told him about your childhood were happy, always made you smile, he should've known by now people with the deepest pain shine the brightest smiles.

Marc pulled you into him, so you were sitting with your back pressed to his chin. He wrapped an arm around your waist

"Sometimes it just feels like it's all my fault." You voice cracked, and you picked up the water on the beside tablr, drinking it. Marc rubbed your eyes in a circular motion"The way things are with my parents. I should've been stronger. Helped them and my sister more."

'"It's not your fault, Y/N. You were just a kid. You did all you could for your sister. Abuse," Marc took a deep breath, and you knew this was hard for him to talk about. Your heart swelled at the sacrifice he was making right now. Casting away his own trauma to talk to your own "Abuse is a form of toxic behaviour, baby. Toxic relationships can be abusive, but all abusive relationships are toxic. Steven told me the definition of abuse, according to the Cambridge dictionary, is to treat someone cruelly or violently. That's it. No surprises. How do we differentiate between a toxic relationship and an abusive one? I still don't know. The line is blurred, but what I do know is you don't have to be treated in what typically falls into the category of abuse for you to be a victim of it. Abuse stems from manipulation of power over you, Y/N, and your parents did that. They're still trying to do that. For lack of a better example, and because you made me watch it four times this week, look at Cinderella-"

"There were four different movies!" You replied, but you knew he was only joking. "Cinderella, 1, 2, and 3 are completely different storylines, and then there's the live action which is customary. Besides, I wanted you to see what I used to watch when I was little."

"It's still the same princess. But anyway, look at her. She wasn't beaten or screamed at. But would you still say everything she went through was just toxic? Y/N, baby, you're not your parents' servant."

Hearing him say that, heaing Marc of all people, that that, the most validating moment you had ever experienced. Marc knew, better than most, what it meant to be treated less than. So if, maybe he was saying this, then you really weren't crazy.

"I used to think I was crazy. Still so. Overdramatic, you know. Everyone goes through rough times. Everyone goes through difficulties with their parents. I can't expect them to be perfect, right?"

"Y/N, it's not as simple as that. People aren't perfect, neither are parents. They go through things, but those people, you can adjust your expectations for. They may not be there for you emotionally, but your relationship with them is healthy. Your relationship with your parents isn't healthy."

It was strnage. A part of you had always needed this validation, needed someone else, wanted someone else to tell you you weren't crazy - but when Marc was reassuring you you weren't being silly, for some reason the words cut you deep. Too deep.

Marc kissed the top of your head gently. You felt weak, so you just held on to him.

"I don't even know what to do now."

Marc kissed your head again

"You' ll figure it out."

"It took me so long to even work out the courage to leave that place. Even after I couldn't block her or my dad's numbers. How could I? They're my parents. I don't know. I guess I was just afraid of being alone. I know, I have you guys. But I kept thinking that what if you leave, or get bored of me. Then I'd have no one, and I couldn't stand that." You wipe your eyes again, drinking more water

"Y/N why would you think we'd leave you?"

"I don't know," you sniffed "but I just kept thinking you'd find someone better. You deserve someone better."

Marc turned your head, placing his forehead against yours, staring into those big, enchanting (e/c) eyes. The same ones he fell in love with when you first met. He ran his thumb over your cheek. Even though you'd been with the boys for months, every time they touched you you still felt shivers.

"Y/N, why would we need anyone else when everything we need is right here? When you're here, honey." He pressed a small kiss on your nose."No one has ever made us feel as happy or even loved like you have. Y/N. It's probably our fault you're feeling like this. We haven't-

"No, Marc. Being with you and the other boys is a dream. One I never hoped for. Don't think you did anything wrong, babe. You're all perfect." You ran a hand through his hair.

"But we don't want you to think like you need to earn our love. You can't win love Y/N. So, it never dies. Our love for you will never die."

You smiled before realising something.

"That line's from the Lion King II." You giggled."So you do like it."

You then stuck your tongue out at him, remembering how he said the sequel could never be anywhere near as good as first

He rolled his eyes.

"It's a good line."

"Yeah, totally Marc. Just a good line."

As your laughter died down, you picked up your phone. You sighed, hand pressing on the delete contact button, before your phone sent an automatic notification, asking if you were sure.

You looked at Marc, who looked back at you.

"It's up to you." He nodded, and you swear you loved him even more in the moment. Whereas your parents had all been about control, he was giving you the option to decide your future.

"Block, delete, ghost. It's all in your hands. I won't even blame you if you still talk to them only on occasion, they're your parents. Just don't let them walk all over you."

You paused. Sure, you could keep trying. You loved them and all, but was trying really worth it if you were the only one? Maybe it was time for them to try, too. And hopefully, one day, they would realise, that they hurt you. Really bad.

You clicked the 'delete' button on the notif, and then it deleted. Oddly enough, you felt a weight lift off your chest. Like they finally didn't have any power over you anymore.

Marc pulled you against his chest again, arms wrapping around your waist. Kissing your head again, rocking you side to side.

"You'll be OK. We will. Our love will find a way."

You smirked.

"Marc, babe, I appreciate them, but those Lion King 2 references are killing me."

Marc just rolled his eyes and held on tighter.

But yes, it was true, with Marc, Steven and Jake, your love would find a way.

#Spotify #jake lockley #marc spector #marc spector x reader #steven grant #steven grant x reader #jake lockely x reader #moon boys #moon knight fic #moon knight system #steven grant fanfiction

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2023

What a weird year for pop music, full of strange trends, confusing garbage and unexpected hits. Once again, even if the charts don’t always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow closely.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

A lot of bad stuff happened to me this year (several accidents in a row, and also my cat died) but some good stuff too, thank goodness. I only went to two concerts this year (Bloodywood and BMTH), but they were both absolutely amazing. Pretty sure the Bring Me The Horizon one was the best concert I ever went to, actually, and there's a lot of competition considering all the great ones I went to in 2022. I'm just sad 100 gecs had to cancel theirs, I was really looking forward to it. Oh well.

Let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2023, and oh my, that's a long list already.

Albums

Starting as usual with stuff that disappointed me: Depeche Mode's Memento Mori was... actually it was all right, but I miss the days when I could get excited about a new Depeche Mode album, I really do.

Pink Tape by Lil Uzi Vert was a giant fucking mess. There's some absolute bangers on it, and then you get to the next track and it's the worst thing you've ever heard. Which makes for an interesting listening experience, for sure, but one I'm in no hurry to repeat. At least it's never boring.

After the Magic by Parannoul isn't exactly my cup of tea, but you should definitely listen to it once, I think. It's something special. It might grow on me, though, because I only listened to it for the first time last month.

On the other hand, I listened to Scaring the hoes by Jpegmafia and Danny Brown a while ago, and while this one is definitely not my cup of tea, it's also a ton of fun and I don't feel like a single second of my time was wasted on it. You should listen to it for the samples alone, and just out of sheer curiosity if nothing else.

A kiss for the whole world by Enter Shikari is a weird beast, because the singles are absolutely incredible, but then the rest is a big pile of nothing (at least in my opinion). But the singles, man. I really don't know how to judge it as a whole, the quality is on a rollercoaster.

Kind of the same thing happened with Electric Sun by VNV Nation, one of my favorite bands of all times if not my favorite, if you recall. Some tracks completely floored me, the rest was meh. Oh well. Noire was so incredibly good that I can live with an average VNV album dropping after it.

Fanfare by Dorian Electra was full of absolute bangers but... I don't know, there's some of the madness of the previous record missing. And yes, I'm saying the album containing the minion line (you know the one) is more serious than My Agenda. Go figure. But it's still very good!

Two different friends told me to listen to 4D by Blank Banshee, so I did, obviously. Great electro album. Send tweet

I'm not entirely sure what to think of Atta by Sigur Rós. I cried several times while listening to it for the first time and it's a genuinely impressive series of tracks, but it's also so devastating I've only relistened to it twice since then.

I only discovered Svalbard a couple of years ago, and this year they dropped The weight of the mask, which might be even better than their previous album. It's mostly about depression and trying to fake normality while being depressed. Not a very pleasant topic, and yet this is full of energy and... hope? Everything sounds unbearably bright and between the screams, you feel like everything will be better eventually. Great stuff.

Speaking of depression, there's also No joy by Spanish Love Songs. If you recall their previous album was my album of the year a few lists ago. Their sound changed slightly, and at times it almost sounds like The Killers, but not in a bad way. There's a couple of tracks I don't like very much, but the writing is still on point, and some tracks are among my faves I put in the "unelligible songs" part.

Census Designated by Jane Remover, on the other hand, came out of nowhere just to kick me in the face. I don't even know what to say about that one. Go listen to it.

I found Gunship almost by accident a few months ago, and they immediately dropped a new album, called Unicorn. It's just a huge pile of great synthpop through and through - if you don't mind a couple of really stupid lines (godddd that third track is full of them). The other downside is that it's way too long (more than an hour), and if it was up to me, I'd remove at least four tracks from it. Unlike...

...10000 gecs by, who else, 100 gecs. It's less than half an hour long and it's so fun and so varied in its sounds and so stupid while still being incredibly well produced. For the longest time I couldn't decide which one of the last five albums on this list was my favorite, and then I relistened to all of them in a row and felt compelled to play this one a second time after I was done. Definitely worth the wait.

Unelligible Songs

This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill. I also have to mention that two songs from previous lists (The Magic Key by One-T and Dernière Danse by Kyo 2003 represents) recharted this year for some unfathomable reason.

Gonna start with my fave tracks on some of the albums I already mentioned. Because why not.

The only song I consider great on the Depeche Mode album was People are good which sounds like character development considering People are people also exists

Speaking of Depeche Mode, one band arguably out-depeche-moded them this year so let me introduce you to ††† (Crosses) with Ghost ride, Invisible hand and Holier

Lil Uzi Vert is next with Suicide doors and its deranged intro immediately followed by FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR BITCH then Uzi following that by stating they're the Crow. Yes, really. Also there's Werewolf, literally a Bring Me The Horizon song with Lil Uzi Vert on it, and if I had a nickel every time that happened this year I'd have two nickels, which isn't much but-

Wait let me interrupt this list with another song called Werewolf which I've listened to WAY too much this year. It's the kind of song you listen to ironically at first but after the tenth time that happens you realise it's no longer ironic and you love it for real. Seeing Motionless In White live kinda helped, not gonna lie, but still

For Enter Shikari, we have A kiss for the whole world, Bloodshot, and especially [pls] set me on fire, which might be one of my most listened to tracks of 2023, actually

VNV Nation had Wait, Invictus, and Artifice, which are all absolute bangers in my opinion. Ronan is angry and we love to hear it

By the way this year Pink released an extremely VNV-like song called Trustfall and it's very good but also uncanny

Kylie Minogue is also doing something vaguely similar with Hold on to now but in a more mainstream normal way btw

And then for something completely different, we have Dorian Electra singing about obsessive fans on Symphony, fame on Wanna be a star, and most importantly writing anon hate and immediately deleting it on anon

Run is the first track of the Blank Banshee album I rec'd and it's only one minute long so listen to it maybe

Technically I can recommend Gold if you want some taste of the Sigur Rós album but you need to listen to the entire album to get the full crushing effect

Svalbard isn't going to lighten up the mood with How to Swim Down and Faking it

Neither is Spanish Long Songs with Clean-up crew, Marvel, Here you are and Lifers, the last one being notable for having what's possibly my fave bridge of the entire year, and all of them for being endlessly quotable. Stay alive out of spite everyone

Also not lightening up the mood is Jane Remover with Census Designated on the album also called Census Designated

But what's this? It's Gunship with a steel chair trying to punch some joy into this list with Holographic heart, Nuclear Date Night, Taste like venom and Monster in paradise!!

And the gecs with a second steel ch- wait no it's a plastic chair shaped like a frog. Anyway here's Dumbest girl alive and Hollywood baby, and both of them go wayyy harder than they have any rights to

ok that was a lot of songs already. Here's Everything goes on by Porter Robinson as a palate cleanser

Also the first reggaeton song to ever end on one of my playlists, Sci-fi by Tainy and Rauw Alejandro

Also I'm gonna put a gif here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post something with such a long uninterrupted list in it

Ok back to the list of recs

Let's get the humiliation out of the way and say that this year I listened to Raining blood but it's super emo more than I ever listened to Raining blood in all my years combined

Oh yeah and Linkin Park released some old (finished and unfinished) tracks from the Meteora era and I'm kinda pissed off cause Lost missed the year end list. Fighting myself is excellent too, and if you want a really heartwrenching unfinished track, Resolution has a giant Chester-shaped hole where its chorus should be and the lyrics make it even worse. You're welcome

Possibly the most mainstream song on this entire rec list but I'm also pissed off Bad Idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo didn't chart enough to count for my top ten hit songs

I can offer you Eat the acid by Kesha if you want an awesome but mildly disturbing listening experience

For some electro/future pop here's Head over heels by Solitary Experiments

Wait there's also Bring the noise by Neuroticfish

Over is there if you need some Chvrches doing some Chvrching

Justice for Gladiator by Jann

Pointing at Even Jesus got the blues by Gabe Lee and saying I would listen to more country if it sounded half as good as that song, not like anyone cares

Holding on to nothing by Sierra. Send tweet

Northwind + Sky-colored dream by Strawberry Hospital and Parasite Heart is just seven minutes of cool pastel screams

And for an absolute goth banger everyone collectively decided to ignore here's Train to Harlem by Korine

I can't get enough of Nosebleeder by Lil Lotus and that's probably mildly embarrassing at my age but I've decided to stay mildly embarrassing forever

kisses by Slowdive if you want vibes and vibes only

Blood and sugar by Boys Like Girls if, like me, you want something that sounds exactly like The 1975

Choose your fighter by Ava Max if you want something that sounds exactly like Barbie Girl

I really wish I could explain what my feelings are every time I listen to The King by Anjimile but the only thing I'm sure about is that I'm feeling something a LOT and that it's terrifying

On a lighter note here's Mall rat by Durry, a very upbeat pop punk song about mall goth teenagers having fun and it's extremely good, listen to it immediately if you're having a bad day

And as some of you might have expected because of that previous gif, we're gonna finish with some Bring Me The Horizon, who have joined my list of favorite bands alarmingly quickly (that new album can't drop soon enough), and let's just say LosT and especially AmEN! were some of my absolute fave non-hit songs this year. Seriously. What the fuck was that.

And now, some elligible hits that didn't make the list.

Honorable Mentions

Tiki Taka (Vacra) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years.

Shining Light (Aime Simone) - I wish I liked that artist more.

Unholy (Sam Smith & Kim Petras) - At first I didn't like this one, and then I headcanoned Kim Petras as a girl in a confessional and Sam Smith as the priest on the other side looking concerned but also weirdly into it, and suddenly it was a really funny song.

Dance the night away (Dua Lipa) - I'm pretty sure that's the song Chained to the Rhythm by Katy Perry is talking about

Casanova (Soolking) - This is a borderline guilty pleasure, and also it sounds like Magic System. Which is a bonus, by the way.

Calm Down (Rema) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 2: the sequel

Rush (Ayra Starr) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 3: the sequel to the sequel

Strangers (Kenya Grace) - Very good low-key track to play when you're driving at night

Bloody Mary (Lady Gaga) - What can I say. It's Lady Gaga. It's good.

I remember everything (Zach Bryan) - And for "songs that would be on the list if I had good taste-"

Going going gone (Luke Combs) - The last cut from the list. Great earworm, good writing.

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

This is a very solid list, actually. All of these things are still on some of my playlists to this day.

10 - Bad Habit (Steve Lacy)

US: #39 / FR: Not on the list

This was the last cut from my 2022 top 10 and it was a painful one, so imagine my joy when I saw it was elligible for this year's list too! Welcome back, Steve Lacy, your little song is still an earworm and a half even after all this time.

9 - Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift)

US: #18 / FR: Not on the list

I have no idea how a song that rhymes "oh woah oh" with "summer" can sound so good. Well played, madam. Well played.

8 - Star Walkin' (Lil Nas X)

US: Not on the list / FR: #67

Not the best Lil Nas X song by a mile, and still quite good! It plays a lot at the gym for some reason. The hype is real, even after hearing it pretty much every hour on the hour. And despite that weird, weird line about his dad.

Very surprised it's not on the US year-end list, by the way.

7 - Vois sur ton chemin (Bennett)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69

If you're creeped out by the AI-generated kids in the music video, I think that's kind of the point, which is why I can tolerate it for once.

Anyway, this is a remix of a choir song about lost kids, originally from a retro movie called Les Choristes which came out back when I was a teenager. And now it's been turned into a somewhat creepy techno remix of itself, and you know what's bad about that? Not a single thing actually. Play it again.

6 - Fast Car (covered by Luke Combs)

US: #8 / FR: Not on the list

If you remember correctly, Fast Car was the number one song of the very first list I made in this series (1988). And since this cover is so similar to the original song, I considered making it non-elligible for this list. I counted it in the end but put it kinda low compared to the original. It's only fair.

5 - Anti-hero (Taylor Swift)

US: #4 / FR: Not on the list

I was pretty indifferent to this one at the beginning of the year, but it slowly but surely grew on me. Everything has already been said about this song. So yeah, it's very good. I like it. It's on the list.

Moving on!

4 - Substitution (Purple Disco Machine x Kungs)

US: Not on the list / FR: #56

Some songs just make you want to move every single time you hear them, without fail. The thing is, this one plays a LOT on the radio in public settings, so catch me dancing in the aisles of the local supermarket every time it's on. It's like some memetic SCP bullshit.

At this point, it should be possible to make a great playlist with all the best retro-sounding hits we got in the past five years or so - and yeah, put this one on it too, for sure.

3 - Miracle (Ellie Goulding, Calvin Harris)

US: Not on the list / FR: #51

At some point this was my number one, and can you really blame me? An Ellie Goulding song with a drop that sounds exactly like a Robert Miles track? Really?

Then I realised I loved Robert Miles' tracks because of that dreamy piano/synth melody they all have, and that this song only had a drop/musical chorus that sounded like that, so something was missing. Oh well. Still a fantastic dance track, though.

2 - Escapism (Raye)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

Welcome to the other side of most of The Weeknd songs, I guess, but that's also what makes this track so compelling. The intro sounds like anxiety, and even when the song gets more pleasant to listen to it just never goes completely away - just like in the lyrics, in fact. Well written, well produced, everything is on point and if I had better taste it would probably be number one on this list.

Alas, I am what I am.

1 - Just wanna rock (Lil Uzi Vert)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

At some point, this was the third song on the list. Why shouldn't it be? It's so brainless compared to Escapism, and laughably short compared to Miracle. It's just a fragment of a song. It sounds like the intro of a track that will never start.

It's also by far my most replayed hit song on this entire top ten list and I can't justify that in any way. So yeah, putting anything else here felt like lying to myself. The fact it never really starts also means the hype never really ends. Going "daaaaaaaaaaaamn" along with Uzi's distorted vocals is so satisfying.

I just wanna rock, man. What a vibe. See you next year!

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #flashing lights tw #eye contact tw #god that one took ages

[sweetbillwriting]

Love Just Happens

Everything She Wants - Part 15

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters. 

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on. 

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, alcohol, ageism, family problems, jealousy, kinks and fetishes, bullying, mentions of plastic surgery, talk about weight and looks, sexism.

Bill sat with his youngest daughter in his lap. She couldn't sit by herself yet but she liked to sit leaning against you and look around. She was a social, curious child but also grumpy and showed clearly that she didn't like to be left out. Bill's other daughters were in Sweden, at their mom’s but conversed with them through facetime. Isadora couldn't really understand where the voices came from and even if Bill pointed at the laptop screen for her she didn't seem to see her sisters. She sat instead and looked out the window dreamily. He noticed his other daughters got a bit disappointed that she didn't give them any attention but she was so pleased just watching the garden to the house they rented in L.A.

After they had talked about his daughters week he told them about theirs but left out the parts they could be jealous of. There was no reason for them to know everything.

“But wasn't Aurora's record already finished?” Asked his oldest when Bill told them she was recording at a studio. Bill sighed a little and caressed Isis' head. She had curls in her dark hair just like her mom. By the first look she resembled mostly Aurora, with her hair, big brown eyes and pouty lips but when she made some expressions it was obvious she was her father's daughter, she also had inherited his dimple and upturned nose. Aurora also had a slightly upturned nose but surgery was behind it.

“They didn't like it…” he said with a sigh. “So now they have collected other songs for her…”

Bill had heard some of it and didn't really like it. She had always had a bit of an RnB feel to her songs but this sounded like the soundtracks to a high school movie. It had more of a punk pop feel to it and didn't fit her voice at all.

“Isn't it good?” Continued his oldest, she could always read him.

“Sure… I think you will like it… I just thought her own material was much better.”

“I think it will be good. Lou is always good,” said his youngest and Bill smiled warmly at her. She was always proud of him and Aurora.

“When will you be home?” Asked his middle daughter without letting Isis go with her eyes. Isis had lowered her gaze to her dad's hand that laid on her tummy and played with his thumb with both her hands.

“You know that, in six weeks… But the time will go fast,” he said with a bad conscience.

“Can't you and Isis come home earlier? You don't do anything there anyway.”

Bill licked his lips and laid his head to the side. They had gotten used to his middle daughter's behavior now. She wasn't as entitled as before but she couldn't accept that the family constellation was really different now.

“Isis and Lou must be close for now. None of them would be happy without the other. And then it's the breastfeeding…”

He didn't say more than that because it would be a long explanation of how breastfeeding works. His middle daughter sighed deeply, the other had accepted how life was. His oldest had started to get her own life while her youngest so easily adapted and had a closer relationship to Aurora.

“Are you with Isis the whole days now?” Asked his youngest. Bill laughed and looked down at the baby.

“Yeah, maybe I will soon also be able to breastfeed,” he joked and all three of them giggled at the thought.

“Were you with us so much when we were babies?”

Bill paused and looked out over the green shades of the garden. He had been with Isis everyday the six months she had lived. He hadn't been around that much with any of his other kids. He had said no to projects he liked, choose to have meetings over zoom instead of going to the USA and had been as involved as Aurora in the caretaking. He hadn't done any of that with his other kids but the situation was so different then but he couldn't really say to his kids that their mother was unemployed while Aurora earned money every minute just by showing her face in public. His career was also different, now he got exciting projects offered to him all the time and rarely needed to audition. He had many director friends and could say no and knew they would contact him again.

“No… I wasn't…”

His oldest gave him an emphatic look because she remembered how it was when both her younger sisters were born. He worked so much, like his value as a human was decided by his work. They had talked about it, just she and him and she knew that situation was really different and also that her father had never really thought about how hard things would be when they got kids, especially when he was the sole family provider. He was still quite young when they got her and his career wasn't stable the way it was now.

“Why not?” Asked his youngest. It wasn't accusatory but Bill felt like it was. He was much younger then but couldn't say he regretted his choices either. He loved his girls, loved being a dad but he was so much more than that, something Aurora understood in a way no other had. They were equally as ambitious. But his age had also changed things. In his 30s he was so restless and after only just a few days free from work he had started some project. He was 46 now and much calmer and grounded in himself. He could appreciate just sitting on the floor helping his daughter trying to crawl instead of having a project in the back of his head.

“Mom was home with us all the time,” said his oldest daughter as she tried to help her dad but it just made the nine year old furrow her brows.

“But why couldn't dad be home?”

Bill sighed. He wished he got some help from his ex to explain it but knew she wouldn't help him. Now when they weren't a couple she always made it sound like he chose to be away from his girls and didn't let her work.

He heard the entrance door open and breath out in relief, hopefully this subject would be forgotten when Aurora came into the room. Isis looked towards the hallway and when her mom showed up she made a happy scream and squirmed in her dad's lap. Bill smiled amused down at her, then towards Aurora that reached her arms out and smiled brightly. He heard his other daughters giggle but didn't know if they understood Isis did it towards Aurora who was behind the laptop.

“Mamma is here,” he said so they would understand Isis' reaction but also that she probably wouldn't be that present anymore. Aurora sat down next to them and took Isis in her arms who laughed when she saw her mom again. She gave Bill a peck on the lips and then turned to the screen.

“Hey girls! How are you?” She said but Isis immediately began to whine in her arms. She didn't want to share her mom.

“We miss you! What is it with Isis?” Said Bill's middle daughter and looked at the child pushing her face into her mom's chest. Aurora sighed a little and looked at the baby. She could be so happy with her dad but once she came into the room all her energy went to claiming her as her own.

"She has missed her mamma, she has been away for four hours so it's a lifetime without her,” joked Bill and looked at their baby nosedive into Aurora's chest.

“And I've been leaking half the time…” said Aurora while trying to make her daughter sit up. Bill heard his youngest giggle, the breastfeeding was odd for her and that Aurora could start leaking just by thinking about her baby was really weird for her.

“I really need to shower…” continued Aurora and Bill nodded a little. “I can take her…” he tried to take Isis back but it made her whine and fuss. Aurora gave Bill a tired look. It wasn't like Bill wasn't a really present father, he was with her as much as Aurora but she was the one with the food so it was probably a reflex, a survivor instinct to have Aurora close but Bill could be a bit jealous anyway that she always prefered her mother.

“Ehh… Girls I’ll call you tomorrow instead. I think me and Isis will need to be an audience while Lou is showering…”

He said it a bit annoyed because they rarely won over Isis. Already at six months old she knew how to get what she wanted.

“Oh…” they said, disappointed but smiled understandingly. They knew their little sister could be grumpy. She had, after all, been a diva all her life.

They said goodbye to the girls and said sorry for the short call then hung up.

“That was a short call,” said their mother and looked at them where they sat on the couch, disappointed with the closed laptop in front of them.

“Yeah Isis got grumpy…” said the oldest girl.

“She doesn't seem to be as easy as you three were…” said their mom.

“She is just used to getting what she wants,” said the youngest with a shoulder shrug. There wasn't any value in what she said but the others could hear it didn't sound so good. Isis sounded spoiled and favored, even if it was far from the truth. She was just a baby and needed other things than the three of them did.

“But girls, I want you to know that if there is something I will talk with your dad. I know it can be much around Au…” she paused when her oldest walked away. “Honey?” Their mom asked, confused after her. She stopped and turned to her mother.

“Life is what it is. I'm grateful you have always been there for us, but so is dad. So is Aurora. They just have careers and a baby. Mom…” The girl gave her mother a careful look. “You maybe should date a little? I think you need to think about something other than dad.”

Her younger sisters looked at them interested but also a bit worried. It wasn't the best thing to say to a single mom.

Their mom was silent and looked away.

“I'm sorry…” said her oldest daughter awkwardly when she saw her mother get upset.

“I'm just worried…” the mother said and her daughter nodded a little. She meant well but she didn't have a correct picture of their dad and his wife. The conversation ended abruptly when their mother got a call. The sisters looked at each other. They loved both their parents, also their dad's wife. He was more present in Isis life, but it wasn't because he had a bigger interest for Isis, it was because he now had the possibility but also was forced because of Aurora having a career too. All of them spread out in the apartment but none of them could stop thinking about the situation: did Isis get everything she wanted?

×××

After Aurora had showered, fed the baby and helped her to sleep she searched for her husband. He stood leaned down, putting away Isis toys with his butt in the air. Aurora looked at the view. He had his new jeans on, they were in a medium blue wash with small distressed details. His ass was as pert as it always been. Carefully she sneaked up on him and squeezed his cheeks with both her hands. Bill turned his head and looked up at her but didn't stand up. He smirked a little and threw away a stuffed giraffe.

“You can spank me if you want,” he joked and looked at Aurora's naked legs. She had just a silky robe on after her shower.

She looked back at him playfully and spanked his ass, hard. Bill made a liking moan and stood up. They smiled playfully towards each other before Bill moved close to her.

“What's under that robe?” He asked darkly. Aurora looked up at him and felt the power switch when he loomed over her. She looked at him with big eyes and gave him silent permission to open the robe. Bill's long fingers played with the knot and after some struggle he succeeded to untangle the hard bow. He pushed it off from her shoulders and looked at the naked skin that became unshielded. She wore just a pair of white, basic thongs. She played with her fingers while Bill looked at her. She always got nervous when his power got so obvious. Not because she didn't feel safe, far from it, but because it was so erotic. He looked down at her from his high height. His big strong hands still laid on her shoulders heavily and weighed her down a bit. He stood fully dressed and it was his decision if he would take his clothes off or not.

Bill looked at her amazed with a small smile. Even if he had the power he never lost his sweetness and kindness. The power never took him over and he wasn't aroused from abusing it. Aurora had been with guys that liked to feel that they owned her, that she was there to please him, only him but they didn't have the physical power Bill had over her but as the expression said… “if you're big, you must be kind” and Bill was those wise words personified.

He lifted her up from the floor easily so she could put her legs around his waist and she laid her hands on his cheeks so she could steer his face towards her and kiss him passionately.

While making out, Bill carried his wife to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. She stretched her arms over her head and moved her hips teasingly. Bill looked at her up and down and thought about for a short second how sillily attracted he was to her. She was so perfect and his cock got as hard as when he was twenty by looking at her.

“Strip for me…” Aurora said playfully and dragged her toe over Bill's jean clad thigh.

Bill smirked and took off his clothes slowly. He let the erotic atmosphere hang in the air and gave her sultry looks while looking at her biting her lip.

Aurora dragged her foot over his thigh again when he stood in just his black boxers. He looked at her sun kissed foot moving over his hairy leg while he had his hands on his narrow hips. In anticipation he waited on her to drag her foot over the thick line in his boxers but didn't show it. He wanted to pretend he had more control than he had. Aurora looked at Bill amused because she could see what he was thinking and chose to continue to tease him. She dragged her toe on the inside of his thigh, scary close to where he wanted her and looked at his face that became more and more pained. He dragged a big hand over her calf without trying to move her foot but hoped it would make her move it by herself.

“That looks painful…” said Aurora with pretend sympathy and nodded to his cock. Bill made a groan and looked at his erection. It started to hurt a bit, he was so hard.

“Yeah…” he said painfully and continued to drag his hand over her leg.

“Pull them down so I can see.”

Bill smirked a little pleased and put his thumbs in the elastic of his boxers.

“Both on three?” He said playfully and looked down at her thongs. Aurora giggled and nodded a little. Bill counted to three and pulled down his boxers in a swift movement. His cock slapped up on his belly and he looked at it impressed. For a few seconds he was so impressed by his own hard on he forgot his wife had also pulled off her underwear. He looked up at her, worried he had missed something under the short time he had looked at the veins on his member but met the view of her lying naked with spread legs for him. She even spread her pussy apart with two fingers so he could easily dive into her tightness.

“Give me that cock now, big boy…” she said with a whiny voice. Bill smirked and crawled on top of her. In every movement he poked her with his hard on and she was forced to control her giggle. Sometimes he still felt like a teenage boy. He looked at her pussy and took over to spread her open. With his other hand he held his cock and teased her with his tip but also slapped her pussy a bit. Aurora looked at him and whined. Bill smirked but made her whine for another reason when he suddenly pushed into her violently.

×××

They sat close together in the bed after their love making. Bill drew circles on her back while she sat with her cheek pressed against his chest and didn't seem to notice that the circles were just a way for Bill to feel how her ribs felt. There was so much that indicated she wasn't happy, even that he had given her two orgasms and he had come deep inside her and that she already was in her own head, was a bad sign.

“You don't like what they're giving you…” he said carefully. “They want you to be someone else.”

Aurora didn't look up at him, just pushed her nose into his chest and took a deep breath.

“You don't need to do what they say…”

Aurora sat up properly and pulled up her knees to her chin. She laid the cover over her legs like a protective shield and closed her eyes.

“I will lose everything if I do that… But yeah… They.. They're so mean…” she said and broke down in tears. Bill sat up more properly too but didn't touch her, she knew he was there if she needed the closeness but for now it seemed like she needed the space.

“They complain about everything! Even that I seem to have more muscles in my legs. They want me to be… fifteen!”

Bill licked his lips and looked at his wife worriedly. The weight loss was someone else's idea, it was obvious.

“They’re trying to put in my head that I need surgery. They’re trying to put in my head that I must stop breastfeeding. They’re trying to…” she looked up at Bill with glassy eyes and sighed. He knew what she was meant to say. They wanted her to break up with him.

“Do you believe them?” He said lowly, even if he tried to be neutral and not get upset. But it was upsetting to hear someone trying to make her believe she was better off without him.

“No! But… Some things? Maybe I look like a tired mom?” Bill made a grunt like it was impossible.

“No. No. You're as beautiful as you've always been, it's just that you're older. No one stays twenty their whole life and you're beautiful as a woman now, instead of a girl.”

Aurora breathed heavily and dried her tears.

“But… I'm thinking about botox… Just to look a bit more plump again?”

Bill wanted to roll his eyes but didn't. To him it was silly his wife, who was sixteen years younger, would do such a thing, when he didn't even have a skin routine he could remember to do. She looked so young and beautiful and he noticed how people could stare because of her beauty and yet some negative comments made her believe she needed botox.

“That's up to you… But I can't see any reason for it. None at all. You don't even have lines in your face. I had so many more when I was thirty and I heard all the time how I looked tired. Still do,” he said with a crooked smile.

“But lines are sexy on a man! I have loved the lines around your eyes since the first time I met you. You liked my fake nose and perfect make up!”

Bill made an offended sound. Yes he loved her nose, maybe even the make up but he also loved everything else… He thought back on the moment in Italy. How gorgeous and charismatic she was. How young… Oh right. He dragged a hand through his hair and licked his lips.

“I loved everything about you when we met.”

Aurora looked at him with love but also sadness.

“And I'm not that girl anymore…”

Bill made a face. She looked the same to him, mostly. She had a thinner face and something else in her eyes. Her breasts were heavier from breastfeeding and because of the pregnancy and then the weight loss she had lost that girly softness to her body.

“No, you're a woman now. But you aren't so different from earlier as they try to make you believe.”

Aurora sighed and moved closer to him again.

“So what should I do? I can't lose my contract… But I can't do that Lolita inspired shoot they want me to do!”

Bill turned to her fast with furrowed brows.

“What do you mean?”

“It would be a photoshoot where I would look like a ten year old in my bedroom… I'm a mom! And step mom to three girls in a sensitive age!”

Bill gave her a big eyed look but then took a hold of her neck and kissed her hard. Aurora gave him a strange look, because for her it wasn't the right moment for such a kiss.

“Aurora Lou… I don't think you understand how much I love the woman you are. And you should love her too because… Fuck you're perfect in every way.” He took her hand and kissed it, down to her finger tips and she giggled with tears in her eyes.

“Being a woman is nothing to be embarrassed about, you have become just a better version of yourself and… I want everything with you, give you everything. Just… Let us do this our way.”

Aurora looked at him with big eyes, waiting for him to say more.

“You know… I had a small, very, very small record label in my thirties. I shut it down because we lost inspiration but… We should just release your record on your own label. You don't need those assholes. It's them who needs you. You should be able to do everything you want.”

Aurora giggled and laid her hands on her warm cheeks. She didn't know why she got embarrassed but Bill's love just did that to her sometimes.

“Would you help me? I can't do such things… You know I can't even do my taxes.”

Bill smiled a bit amused.

“You can't even pay a bill.”

Aurora smiled amused too but it changed to a playful one.

“You want to be paid now?”

Bill just gave her an amused eye roll but then kissed her again and again.

“I will help you. We will do this together. We’ll make a video again, we hire the best fucking photographers and make a sexy cover for a grown woman, okay?”

Aurora smiled brightly and dragged her fingers through the hair on Bill's underarm.

“But it can be pink? Because I love pink. And bows. And glitter.”

Bill laughed and hugged her.

“Yeah, that's just you… And long hair, high heels and a great fucking ass,” said he with wagging eyebrows. His wife laughed and pushed his cheek like she was annoyed but kissed him right after.

×××

“Baby? Bill? Bill. Billy baby?” Aurora looked out from the kitchen in the rented house in Los Angeles. Her husband didn't answer and wondered if he had left without saying goodbye. It had happened a few times when he was really stressed. She walked to the big living room where she found him sitting on the floor with their daughter. She tried to crawl to her dad and looked at him with big eyes.

“You can do it, baby. Yeah come on, Isis!” He said encouragingly to her.

Aurora looked at them with a loving smile and leaned against the doorway. Bill sat in his expensive beige suit with his hair perfectly styled while Isis was just dressed in a diaper and a pink striped t-shirt. The image was too cute and Aurora snapped a picture of the pair.

“Didn't you have a premiere to go to?” She said and walked up to them. Bill looked up at her and sighed.

“Must I?”

“Yes. Max will be sad otherwise.”

Bill looked at his daughter again, painfully.

“But you know I hate such things? And maybe I’ll miss her crawling when I'm away?”

“You can sneak in from behind and she will be going to bed in a half hour, she will not crawl tonight.”

Bill looked up at Aurora and tried to hide a smile.

“But I'd rather sneak in from behind here…”

“Mhm,” she smirked and put a hand on her hip. “But sometimes you must go through other doors than my back door.”

“Whyyy?” He whined and threw his head back, at that exact moment Isis' strength to hold her head up failed her and it dunked down on the floor and she started to cry.

“Oh honey!”

“Isis!”

Bill and Aurora cried out at the same time and Bill lifted up the baby in his arms that cried loudly against his chest. Aurora sat down on the floor and looked at her with a small smile. She could see the difference between real tears and attention tears. This was attention tears. She was good at faking it and in a few years she maybe also would be actor material.

“She's okay. The drama queen,” she said and dragged a hand through Isis's dark hair. Bill wiped away a tear on her chubby cheek and looked down at her.

“I didn't think a baby could act so well.”

“She will play on our bad conscience the rest of our lives.”

“Like it wasn't bad enough being a dad to four girls.”

Aurora giggled and patted Bill's cheek soothingly.

“But baby?” She said when it looked like Isadora would fall asleep against his chest.

“It's time for you to go to your premiere.”

Bill's smile fell again and he pressed his cheek against Isadora's head.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay… I think I spend too much time with her, it just gets harder and harder to be away from her.”

Aurora smiled and laid down her head on Bill's shoulder.

“I know… Even if she can be so grumpy and stubborn.”

Bill smiled and then shook his head.

“Oh well… Time to go…”

×××

It was a big premiere with many celebrities as guests. He was invited as PR like so many other people but he was also invited personally by the director Max who had become a close friend in recent years. He was a bit late but was quite pleased with that, one more reason to sneak in the back door. He would never be comfortable with that sort of attention, even if it had become better with time but also by being with a girl like Aurora, he had been forced to show himself in other ways and get used to people wanting more from him.

He took a seat in the back and pretended like he was totally unimportant even if he could see some younger men look at him with big eyes. He was a horror Icon after all and married to a beautiful, successful singer. He knew he was interesting even if he pretended he wasn't. When the movie was over he thought he would be able to hide among all the other celebrities mingling after the showing but he could feel eyes on his neck while speaking with an actress he worked with. He looked around a bit, maybe it actually was someone he knew but met a short man's eyes. He had never seen him before but gave him a nod just as a polite gesture. The man smiled big and seemed to have seen it as an invitation to talk because he came up to him with his hand outstretched.

“Bill Skarsgård, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Bill unsurely. He wondered if he was a fan but he didn't get that feeling. Something was familiar with the man and he tried to remember if he had met him before.

“Felix,” said the man with a smirk. Bill smiled with furrowed brows because it didn't say anything to him.

“Felix Floria, Aurora Lou's favorite uncle?”

×

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #lou

[hasufin]

It's probably nothing, until it isn't

My cat just had a lobotomy.

Okay, they prefer to call it a lobectomy. And not a cranial one - this was to the lungs. But I'll get to that.

So, last Friday, I noticed that my boy Shiro was making a kind of odd noise, that he seemed to be wheezing a little bit, and when I touched him he made a moaning noise. This was all very minor, it would have been easy to say "It's probably nothing", and I almost did that.

But, knowing that cats are very good at masking distress, I decided to take him to the emergency vet. There, they determined he had a pleural effusion - fluid in the cavity around the lungs. (As an aside, an awful lot of medical conditions are just "description of the symptom in bad Latin or medical jargon" which means once you understand that you end up going "Yes, I came in with knee pain, and you have diagnosed me with knee pain, but that doesn't tell me anything I didn't already know.")

Anyway, so they drained the lung cavity and concluded it was most likely congestive heart failure. They gave me some meds for that and told me to make an appointment with a veterinary cardiologist. Which I did, for this coming Monday (got really lucky). I took Shiro home, he seemed a little better for a while but just kinda sat around. He also didn't eat or drink, which was worrisome.

On Sunday, I decided to call the vet again. The place I went to on Friday (associated with our regular vet) said they were slammed with pets needing Oxygen and told me to take him to another emergency vet which was actually closer. They looked at him, concluded he had more fluid, which should not have built up so quickly, and proceeded to do more testing. They found it almost certainly wasn't CHF, nor cancer, which would have been the two most likely causes.

In fact, the problem turned out to be lung torsion. One of the lobes in his lungs got twisted - something which can happen spontaneously, but is quite rare. Further, the CT scan showed that the twisted lobe was pressing against another lobe (cats have 14 in total, 7 lobes per lung) and along with the fluid buildup was making it hard to breath.

Yesterday evening they performed surgery to remove the affected lobes. He has been recovering, but is still at the veterinary hospital. It seems he's still not eating, and I authorized a feeding tube. They're still projecting a recovery, but I remain quite worried about my boy.

There are two things I've taken from this.

One is financial. I don't want to go into numbers, but the amount was a LOT. If we did not have insurance specifically for this kind of thing, it would have been a very hard decision. As it was, the big issue was the vet wanted the payment up front, which is reasonable when you're talking a few hundred for a tooth extraction, but as I told them, the last time I moved that kind of money it was a direct wire transfer and it took a week to set up. It's worrisome that we've reached the point where "amount you need to keep your cat alive" is running up against "Whoa whoa whoa that's a lot of money to be flashing around, what are you a drug dealer?" My spouse spent over an hour on the phone with Bank of America trying to get them to authorize a check, which they would not do even though they acknowledged both that they were speaking to the account holder, and there was more than enough money in the account. Spouse is going to be changing banks, because what is the point of having money you can't use in an emergency? Trupanion really came through, though, pre-authorizing a large cost on a Sunday, and getting my upfront down to where I could easily put it on a credit card. Again we're not in any financial trouble for this, it's just it was a very considerable amount of money.

Second, the thing which haunts me is how very close I was to Doing Nothing. Because none of the signs were that obvious. Until the moment the emergency vet showed me the ultrasound, I was still feeling I was just wasting my time and theirs. And even over the weekend, it seemed Shiro was just off because of having been to the vet, and we'd go to the cardiologist on Monday to make a treatment plan, and it'd all be... well, not great, but predictable. I could very easily have woken up Monday to a dead cat and never known why.

I have to confront the reality, too, that I'm just not ready to lose Shiro. I know he's 14 years old, he will be dying in the next few years. He's been with me through four relationships, seven homes, and four jobs. I'm glad that This Time it's something we can treat. Eventually it won't be, and I'm going to have to face that.

[zionchubby14]

Been thinking and feeling guilty...

I'm sitting here feeling bad about something that, in my rational, logical mind, I shouldn't feel bad about. But in my irrational brain, I feel like I'm misleading some people and holding others back.

Let me explain.

I am not in any relationship, nor have I ever been in one that was grade school puppy love (still think about her [yes, I said her. I was in 2nd-3rd grade and I fell hard for this one girl in my class. I even fought some other boy in my class over this girl, I was so "in love" with her at the time, and cried when she moved away]). I have never experienced any of the highs and lows of a relationship. I have had potential ones, but they never became official.

I, then met Joey after he and his then partner, Marc, took me in when I was at my lowest. They made me a better person than I was back then and I wouldn't trade away any of my time with them. Family problems made me go back home, but I took the advice they gave me and got me to get back to school and get my degree (which I don't use because there's no tech support jobs in a suburban farm town).

Things with Joey started to develop and I flat out told him one day that I loved him, because he made me laugh, he made me feel better about myself, he was a rock for me in my darkest times. He reciprocated these feelings and I wanted to be with him from now on.

But the biggest obstacle ever came about: long distance. He lives in Washington, and I in Michigan. We talk to each other on a frequent basis, but it's not the same as being in the same room with each other. I know we are not an official couple, and I call it wishful thinking, thinking that we are. But I want it to be, I want to be in the same room as he is and hug him ever so tightly.

I don't know when we'll ever be together again. I hope soon, but time and money have never been kind to me. So it hurts me so much to see him not looking for someone who loves and cares for him like I do. I feel like I'm holding him back from finding his perfect mate.

I also feel like because of my love for him is holding me back from finding that same love. I want to make friends and build relationships with others, but I stop myself every time because, in my heart, if I find someone else, my heart won't be 100% theirs. On top of that, if I find that someone, I break Joey's heart.

So now you know why I feel so bad. I know there's no right rational answer for how I am feeling. But I can't help feel how I feel about this.

[granulesofsand]

Multiple Scripts

I can already feel my thoughts slipping, so I’m gonna start writing and hope for the best.

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA programming

We have multiple scripts. The exact number (that we know of) depends on what you consider a single script, but even on the broadest definition, we still have several.

Our most prominent script, the one that our biggest system follows, is several fairytales told as though they were all part of one world. I can see the VHS cover, but none of us have access to the name of it. Because it was all one piece of media, we count it as one script.

I’m not sure if all the fairytale settings we have came from that one script, but if they didn’t, they were made to look like they did.

We also have a big sidesystem spanning across a few dozen movies which are vaguely fairytale-esque, but don’t pretend to be in the same universe.

There’s a smaller sidesystem along those lines from another media, but with more folk tale than fairytale, with some of the best system hopping we’ve seen. Theirs is written into their script, and they have very high immersion in a their source media.

And then there are a few more sidesystem (at a few hundred members each) that we think were semi-organic in how we inteojected their source, but still got caught while they were forming and were programmed more according to how those people saw themselves instead of a group standard.

All of the sidesystems whose scripting was preplanned function very well together. They don’t exist in the same area or have unforeseen contact, so their relationships to other sidesystems is also programmed to be separate and beneficial to our abusers.

I know that big sidesystem has been taught how to view the system hoppers in accordance with their script, and the hoppers have a lot of training on how each group they interact with views them so that they can better fit that image. They belong to the larger Right Side, which has the strictest programming.

The scripts that were added in response to programmed splits picking up introject identities are messier. They’re still programmed harshly, but not to the extent of the Right.

Even our presentation groups knew about the Left Side scripts pretty early on. It’s hard to dismiss the fleet of robots that just showed up in the woods. They weren’t explicitly told how to make sense of the new scripts, so they didn’t. We have theories about what those guys were going back before system discovery, they were that obvious.

The group that lots of them knew about were more violently stealthy, the kind of hiding where if you acknowledge them you’re going to get hurt. So they weren’t defenseless, but they weren’t discreet.

There was one group that came out of a Right Side group purely because a similar media existed at the time and we were consuming it, so those newbies were confused or disobedient in their elaboration and ended up not fitting in. That group has a lot of the Right Side programming of how to stay hidden and be seen as normal to other groups, but they still got placed on the Left because they weren’t supposed to be there.

Counting with dissociation is so hard. Big group, small group, biggest group, mistake, wrong identity. That’s at least 5 scripts, and that doesn’t include the little groups that revolve around a separate media.

As a side note, we collect the negative labels they assigned us to build our confidence. They told us we were a ‘mistake’, and we took that and ran. I like being a mistake, because my ‘wrongness’ according to them is what allowed me freedom. I’m happy to be ‘bad’ in their book.

The reason for each script, including the unintentional new scripts, fit well into their purposes and our collective history. That’s also something we got from our maternal programming line, the abundance of metaphors and storylines to make sure our sidesystems understood what was expected of them.

Even the lines of our group that didn’t elaborate the programmed self-states so much used scripts — the fairytales were important to our group, so they used them widely. A number of group programs are reliant on the plots of the stories, so even if it wasn’t integral to that system, they still had to know.

That’s not to say that programmed systems should have multiple (or any) scripts, just that it was common where we grew up. There’s no correct way to be hurt, and however your system works is how it works. The changes you make are for you, not to be a more ‘normal’ survivor.

#ramcoa programming #ramcoa #tw ramcoa #did osdd #osddid #cdd system #ec did #hc did

[kingdaddydaichi]

For the Ask Game; can you do Katsuki, for

SFW; B and I

And NSFW; D

Please and thank you? :)

Female reader please :) 🖤🧡🖤

Anything for you, my dear. I’m sorry this took so long! I was stuck on the NSFW D for some reason? Please accept this as my contribution to your healing? 🤲🏼

(sfw) Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Physical beauty is nice and all, but Katsuki looks for substance in a lover. He respects your inner strength and determination to smash your goals. I think he’s somewhat of a sapioromantic, if that’s even a word lol? Like you don’t have to be a genius but I think he would get easily bored with someone who can’t hold an intelligent conversation with him. He probs won’t admit it, but he also admires your compassionate, empathic nature. Every once in a while he might grumble something about how much better you are at nurturing and kindness than he is. But he always sees it as a strength as long as you’re not a doormat.

(sfw) Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?

Both. It makes sense that he would help you become more confident in your abilities and talents. He doesn’t tolerate negative self talk so don’t even go there. Say you’re moping around talking about how your art isn’t as good as other artists', now here he comes. “Oi! The fuck did you just say? Talk shit about my girl like that again and I’ll kick your ass!” “But Katsu, I AM your girl?” “I don’t give a shit who you are! Like hell I’m gonna let anyone talk shit about you, not even you! Your art is fucking beautiful, dumbass! God!” Then he’ll stomp out of the room and probably slam the nearest door. Just for effect. 😅 On the other hand, I think you’ve taught him how to process and express his feelings in a healthy way. He gets a lot better about it, but there are times it’s still gonna look like anger. Oh AND! It confused him at first that you use humor to help cope with shit sometimes? Like he’d be looking for a fight and you’d just completely disarm him with something funny. And he just 🧍🏼‍♂️like wtf? And you laughed and he just “tch!” and turned his back to you bc he didn’t wanna give you the satisfaction of seeing him smile.

nsfw beyond this point...minors/ageless blogs dni...

(⚠️nsfw) D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Idk why it was so hard to think of something for this one? At first it seemed like it would be really easy. His bad boy persona is very convincing, but it’s just a front. The more I think about it, it makes sense that Katsuki wouldn’t have many (if any) dirty secrets. Like, in the manga, when his little crew of juvenile delinquents in middle school were smoking a cigarette. Then Katsuki walked up and yelled at them saying if they got caught it would go on his record. But I digress…

I think Katsuki’s dirty little secret would be something sweet. Because gods forbid anyone knew that he did something adorable and romantic, right? So maybe the first time he told you he loves you was during a particularly intense orgasm. Poor mans just came so damn hard that he lost control and whimpered “I fucking love you!” And his voice cracked too. And he just froze and looked at you, his scarlet eyes as big as you’d ever seen them hoping beyond all hope that maybe - just maybe - you didn’t hear him even though he was being loud (bc he always is). But you did. And you threw your hands over your mouth to stifle your laugh (at his facial expression bc he looked more terrified than he ever had in his life 😂). And he huffed and puffed and grumbled something like “just forget it”. And you were all “Katsu, you just told me you love meeee! I’m never gonna forget that! It was so sweet!” “Exactly, which is why you are to never speak of this!” “Wait, the love confession, the whimper, or the voice crack?” “NONE OF IT! EVER!” His usual snarl was back. “S’fuckin embarrassing,” he mumbled with a dramatic pout. “But baby, it was so cute!” He pulled out and rolled over, growling. “Shut the fuck up, you asshole! Tch!” He got out of bed and stomped off into the bathroom and slammed the door (expect a lot of stomping and door slamming with him around). Worth it, you thought with tears of joy and laughter in your eyes.

#ask kel #ask game #precious moots #xviternity 🎨 #katsuki #bakugou #bakugo #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo

[mellsfern]

I just had this worming in my mind and have to get it out.

Heads out, english is my second language so there may be some mistakes.

Henry belongs to @homecomingvn, Roachie you gave me the sick.

======

Ok, so imagine Henry with a darling who is a thembo. Just plain old lovable stupid sweetiepie. Henry has a big teddy bear that they gave Reader to initially gain their trust but when they started living together it got in the way.

Pairing: Henry Morgan(He/They) x GN Reader

====

You just loved the gift, you had that situation where you felt lonely in bed so you had to have something to hug. When Henry gave you that beautiful big golden teddy bear you were so in love with it. It helped you with exactly what you needed.

After some time however, Henry convinced you to live with you as some kind of roomie agreement, you didn't mind, he was the best friend you ever had. And since he was so good to you, you couldn't make a bland eye to his night terrors, he told you they were so bad that he couldn't sleep well. That the only thing that could make him sleep well was company, yours to be precise.

Of course, you couldn't deny his request, he had almost the same problem you had, only difference is that he got nightmares added to it.

On the first week, Henry said he slept well to you, but then he began to be a little mean about the bear he gave you. You were confused, he gave you that bear to help you sleep but now he was complaining that the bear took too much space on the bed, that it was too big and he couldn't take it.

You, as the gentle dumbass soul that you were, you asked him about it to really get the situation fixed.

—It's just that.... I get a little jealous— he told you.

After that confession, you finally understood him. You told him that you were sorry and that you would take his feelings more seriously.

===

Henry almost had a heart attack, but not like a painful one, more like a I-cant-believe-this-is-happening one, finally. You finally understood, he worked so hard to make you understand that they love you, he was so excited, he could die a happy man now. They could only dream about your future together.

He spent the rest of the day planning a good meal to serve you, a date night inside sounded so good. And to think of all the cuddles and affection they could finally show you, to finally tell you that you are the best thing ever and that they wish they could wish keep you and him together forever.

When he saw you come back, you had a big box, he figured it would be something you needed since you went to the room and left it there. They and you spent a wonderful night, he was fully confessing that he was so happy that you were together, confessing each and every thing in their heart.

After everything was done, you two went into the room, Henry was excited yet ready. He fully wanted to make you theirs today, but if you weren't in the mood or if you weren't ready, he could give you space. He respected your boundaries more than anything else, he could wait...

Big was his surprise when he saw not one but two huge bears on the bed. Henry was really confused for a moment and his face showed it.

—You said that you were jealous of the situation, I thought that maybe I was stingy with the bear.—You said, and Henry was warmed up that you bought something for him, giving him a gift on your first day of being a couple— So, when you said it. I bought this brown bear for you. So you could also have company on your sleep. —He was enjoying every word getting out of your mouth until that last part.

—What do mean, buttercup? You keep me company at night... and I love it.

He was confused, were you kicking him out of the room?

—Well, thank you, I also enjoy having my best friend sleeping with me. But I thought that maybe you missed this teddy bear and if I gave you one, you could sleep better on your own— Henry was so... he didn't even know what to feel. It all came crushing down again, he couldn't even be mad that you were so gullible because of that big smile on your face, thinking you were doing him a favor. Out of your will and heart.

—I'm sorry buttercup, I think you misunderstood me, I was... I meant the bed... you and me... y'know.

He was begging at this point, he couldn't ruin your goodwill and lovely gift. He didn't have the words to rip those beautiful giving eyes apart with telling you he was a disgusting beast that wanted everything. He wanted to do so much with you, he could go mad.

—OH, don't worry! I ordered a bigger bed while you get accustomed to the bear. You can still sleep with me, so you can avoid night terrors while you are on it.

Oh, they were gonna go insane. They wanted to break the wall with his head. You were being such an angel to him and he was thinking of fucking you moments ago. If he was a sane person he would repent in a church right away... but he wasn't, he had just enough of a dirty brain to lust for you and wanting to do so much to you... but he couldn't tonight. His leftover conscience was mawing at them to let this pass, to just say thank you and enjoy the fact that you gave him a gift.

And so he did. But one day, one day he would have you.

#homecoming vn #yandere #yandere×reader #henry morgan #just a brain worm i got today and wouldnt leave me alone l

[x0401x]

Why was Tokyo Babylon 2021 cancelled?

My God. My good God. That is one rabbit hole that I would never expect to see in my inbox. Down this bitch we go.

Brace yourself, dear Anon. You’re about to be told the biggest bullshit of GoHands’ history. Not because it’s a lie but because it’s fucking ridiculous.

(Sorry for taking so long to reply, by the way. As you can see, this took a while to write down. 😅)

So, GoHands. The studio that produced rather niche series such as Hand Shakers, WiZ and Seitokai Yakuindomo. The studio that was responsible for this remake of Tokyo Babylon.

And also the studio that has unlearned how to make anything other than K Project.

Now, don’t get me wrong - I love GoHands and K Project is one of my favorite franchises. Been in the fandom for a decade now and will never leave it. But during these ten years, it feels like GoHands has let the success of K overtake every other new work of theirs. K Project is a series that has a very distinct and remarkable visual identity. It’s easily identifiable and therefore should’ve been kept as something unique.

It was not.

GoHands seems to think, from all the praise they received for K’s innovative style, that said style is the key to a successful anime. That’s the only reason I could think of as to why they keep making every title that came after K into a visually identical copy of it. Praeter no Kizu, Coppelion, you name it. Everything that came after K looks exactly like it, which is already bad enough when you consider that K was kind of a bettered version of Mardock Scramble’s visuals in the first place.

I prayed a lot when I saw the remake announcement, but sadly, Tokyo Babylon (2021) couldn’t escape that trend. And you know what didn’t make things any better? The fact that Suzuki Shingo, the character designer, has been regressing in art style quality ever since Hand Shakers and now apparently can no longer draw adults and teenagers without making them look like babies.

So you have good animation, but shitty art style and even shittier character design adaptations. After the first previews came out, people immediately started to complain. Mainly about Seishirou, who was looking nothing like himself. And while the complaints were coming in, people also began pointing out something else, which then became the reason for the cancellation of the anime reboot: plagiarism.

Turns out that the character outfits had been copied from real-life ones made by beginner fashion designers. Basically, Suzuki Shingo had been taking the design ideas from small artists who’d been posting their creations online. None of these people had yet made names for themselves at the time of the offense, so they were very obscure, not at all easy-to-track newbies in the fashion industry. GoHands targeted them wholly on purpose. Even Subaru’s onmyouji garments were a stolen design. And not only the clothes but also the way the characters pose in official art are all copycats of other people’s works.

But wait, it gets worse! GoHands has actually been doing that for a long time now. It’s sort of a quirk? Obsession? That Suzuki Shingo has had for a while. This time around just so happened to be the last straw.

So what happened after GoHands was busted? Well, they lost the project. The remake was canceled, with the studio issuing an apology, saying that they hadn’t checked enough to make sure there were no signs of plagiarism in the designs (because it’s true that designers often use magazines and such for references, but making changes so that they’re really just that - references). The production committee then ditched them, but an announcement followed soon after, claiming that there was a restart planned for the reboot project. I mean, a lot of people do want to see it happen, and a permanent cancelation would be a total waste of time, potential and money. So we’re probably getting Tokyo Babylon in the future anyway, but with a different title and from a different studio. Perhaps on TB’s 35th anniversary.

Again, I love GoHands. I’m not happy about what happened to them. But they had it coming. This was the most unnecessary ordeal ever and I hope they have learned from it.

#tokyo babylon #gohands #clamp #tokyo babylon 2021

[just-a-bit-of-a-nerd]

hey sorry if a bothering you can

writing How will the moonboys react if they learn that the reader is a US agent and works with Sharon of Sam Wilson?

I'm loving this idea of being Sam's friend and being with the moon boys.

Warnings: Brings up sex like twice. (Let me know if i missed anything) 

STEVEN

When Steven finds out your a US agent he has a million questions.

"How long have you been doing this?" "Am I not supposed to know about your job?" "Will I be able to help you if somethings to dangerous?"

He's really interested in your work because he's never heard anything like it.

But he is worried, he doesn't want you getting hurt during a mission of yours.

He's stalked the place up with first aid kits just in case you get hurt.

Steven is a little jealous of Sam though

He doesn't like how close you two are, and he knows that Sam being your partner for most of your missions will create some sort of bond between you guys but it still bothers him.

Sometimes he'll create little competitions between the two of them to make him look better.

But you can always see when he's jealous so your always there to remind him that your theirs and no one else.

MARC

Marc doesn't like your job at all.

He tries not to be too hypocritical because he also has a dangerous job but the last thing he wanted was for you to have a life anything like his.

That's one of all the boy's insecurities, the fact that they can't give you a normal life because of what they do.

Marc tried really hard to keep you away from that life, so he was a little pissed when he found out you were lying about your job.

He did come around soon enough and he was just like Steven, he just wanted you to be safe.

As for Sam, Marc doesn't really know how he feels about Sam.

Yes, Sam has saved his ass a few times and he always did what was right and Marc respected that.

But the only reason he disliked him even a little was how he treated you.

It was like you were a couple, Marc felt like a third wheel so he just let you two have your moments.

But you'd deferentially see him all alone and know exactly what was wrong so you'd spent the rest of the day all over Marc

And he'd never admit it but he loves it.

JAKE

Jake knew something was up with you the moment he met you.

He just had a feeling, of course he trusted you and loved you deeply but he just had this hunch....like you had a past.

As for Sam Jake's a fan.

He doesn't know why he doesn't dislike Sam like the other two, Sam just gave him a vibe so they never really talked to each other.

He knows that you’d never cheat on him but he will have to punish you if you start flirting with Sam to make him jealous.

When you told him what you did he was the happiest out of the three

Jake Lockely will never not surprise you.

He loved watching you kick ass, it was sexy to him.

Whenever you came home all hurt he’d always want to front.

Jake never fronted but with you he’d fight Steven and Marc for control.

Especially when your hurt, Jake is the most overprotective out of all of them.

Yes, he loves the fact that you can kick ass but if he can get you out of going on a mission he’ll use every excuse in the book.

He wants you safe at home.

And even if you do go on a mission without him he’ll be watching you just to make sure you won’t need help.

And when you do gt hurt he wants to be the one to fix you up.

Not because he’s good a comforting but he’s that one who usually gets the most hurt out of the three of them.

He’s always taking care of his wounds so he always wants to see yours to make sure they get patched up right and they’re not too bad.

#jake lockely #jake lockely x reader #marc spector #marc spector x reader #Steven Grant #steven grant x reader #Moon Knight #moon boys #moon knight x reader #moon boys x reader #marvel