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dekusleftsock · 3 months

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HMMNGGGSHSHHSHD IM SO LATE TO THIS BUT THERES SO MANY THINGS IVE WANTED TO SAY FOR SO LONG AND IVE JUST BEEN TOO DEPRESSED OR BUSY TO DO IT

I did just re-read the chapter, hazbin/helluva hyperfixation is gone y’all I’m back and ready for more.

Okay so, a couple of things I noticed. Let’s start there.

Throughout this chapter, it really is heartbreaking to see how Izuku regards one for all as Allmight’s power, and therefore a disrespect to him to give that away. Which is quite frankly insane given the nature of what the power is, but regardless it still shows me just how deeply he still cares for and admires allmight.

It also makes the transfer Izuku makes to Katsuki in the heroes rising movie all the more intimate; izuku wouldn’t just give the power to anyone, if not for himself (which is also clearly due to that fact since he still sees ofa as the thing that makes him a hero, not his characteristics), then simply out of respect for allmight and his legacy.

It’s just the anger you can see, feel in those words as he demands to know why. I’ve personally been in the boat of “Izuku dislikes Kudou immensely bc he hasn’t proven to be heroic and amazing like Katsuki has, and also he insults him a lot why would he like him”, since Izuku does genuinely have self respect (a common mischaracterization imo), he’s just also more forgiving and faithful to those he admires or loves (or both).

SPEAKING OF SELF RESPECT AND MISCHARACTERIZATION!

I want to highlight the words “But even so, this boy refuses to throw in the towel”, bc it’s such an important part of Izuku and his character.

He isn’t overly self sacrificial, he isn’t a masochist, he isn’t even a martyr—especially not a martyr.

Izuku is stubborn. That is not the same thing as wanting to constantly die for others; izuku is like Katsuki, he wants to fight for others. Giving up just simply isn’t in his morality.

And if “giving up” also includes letting someone die or failing to save someone out of his own negligence, that’s not because he wants to die.

I can’t explain how much the interpretation that Izuku wanting to die, even for others, is so fucking out of character. Izuku is stubborn, he’s stubborn in the way that he won’t just fall over and let the ground take him. Given the circumstances, Izuku would fight for his life just as he would fight for another.

THIS HAS BEEN THE CASE SINCE, I DONT KNOW, CHAPTER FUCKING ONE?

“Idiot! If I’d really jumped, you’d be charged with bullying me into suicide!! Think before you speak!!”

“Idiot…”

Like he’s so unaffected by the awful comment outside of being angry at the DISRESPECT of said comment. This is why all those damn suicidal Izuku fics have always felt so ooc. Izuku isnt a moody, brooding ball of depression, he’s a stubborn, courageous, and angry ball of depression. There is a difference.

Even before this, he literally attempts to say something or fight back to Katsuki, honestly it looks like he’s about to punch him here.

The only reason he DOESNT is bc HE DOESNT WANT TO GET HIS ASS BEAT

Btw for anyone who has or ever will be in Izuku’s position, punch him. I love Katsuki But hit him in the fucking gut. If you get your ass beat at least you can say you can took it like a champ.

Speaking from someone who regrets not punching three girls who were trying to gang up on me in middle school🫶🫶🫶

Anyway, I’d argue that Izuku not taking Katsuki in a fight was made out of self preservation, something he very much has.

And last but not least, we get to this lovely fucking page.

First of all…

Hm, ain’t that strange?

I’m not saying it’s fully a parallel, I’m just saying it’s something to consider.

Especially with the context that I don’t think Izuku feels shameful here.

He’s been a hero who didn’t look like one once before, I’m sure a snide comment through Shigaraki is nothing in comparison to the literal hundreds of civilians afraid of him.

Or, even more interestingly, what if he’s shameful of it, and okay with that? Now THATS some control over your emotions. This is demonstrating the very thing Banjo told him in the first place; using his emotions to fuel him. Let himself live with them, breath with them. They exist, and they hurt, and that’s fucking okay.

But it begs the question…. Why bring attention to it?

Clearly horikoshi WANTS you to see that Izuku is the one who looks like the monster now. He even looks devil like, blackwhip coming out of his back the way it is just feels like wings.

But maybe… maybe this is how he stops sweeping problems under the rug. Maybe this is him, Izuku, at his most animalistic form. Him. At his core. This is the Izuku he doesn’t want people to know.

The faceless, long clawed, oozing black monster.

He’s a kid who can take a fucking beating. He’s not Deku the useless doll, nor is he Deku the hero. He’s simply Izuku.

And you know what’s even more likely?

The black pit of anger that Shigaraki has formed, fueling his uncontrolled emotions and anger and despair, with the light tear showing something underneath…

What if, this was Izuku’s black ball of anger and shame, except this one is escaping his body, pouring out and showing all of that for what it truly is. Pent up rage, uncontrolled emotion, anxiety and shame, all mixed into one hell hole of a person—but a ball that can be molded, controlled, torn apart from the inside out.

See, the same way Kudou tears at Shigaraki’s mental breaking to see what’s underneath, so have the ofa users for Izuku. Slowly, but surely, the people in Izuku’s life have, while created that ball in the first place, also worked to destroy it. The final piece of the puzzle is for Izuku to choose to let it happen, and he is.

Learning to sit in one’s fear, doubt, hatred, anger, sadness, grief, happiness—without that emotion having to be something, simply something that flows through you, that you can choose to act on or not; this is where Izuku’s arc is coming to its tipping point. We are nearing the climax, I can feel it.

#bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bnha deku #bakugou katsuki #mha analysis #deku midoriya #IM FUCKING BAXK BITCHES #I’ve been trying to write this for. not joking. two weeks.#like I have three different versions of this meta that I scrapped completely #they all have their own cool ideas tho so maybe I’ll come back to those #have a good fucking night and happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!!!

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cynosfunnyjokes · 8 months

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kinktober day 2

characters: kaveh, reader

relationship: kaveh x reader

theme: bathroom sex

notes: i don’t have much to say about this one tbh. i reaaaaaally need to stop procrastinating lmao. no pronouns used for reader, but reader is afab! MINORS DNI. 18+ CONTENT.

word count: 1723

after a long day of commissions from the adventurer’s guild, the only thing on your mind was going home to your loving boyfriend and showering. the second sounded absolutely amazing considering the dirt and grime caked onto your body and clothes.

the front door was already unlocked, signaling that he was home- a surprise that was more than welcome. usually, you were home first- were you that late?

locking the door after shuffling inside, you kicked off your dirtied shoes and dropped the heavy bag from your shoulder to the floor with a small ‘thump’, the sound echoing through the house.

“love?” kaveh’s voice called out and not even a moment later, his blond head poked out from the living room to peer into the kitchen. his red eyes lit up upon seeing you and he smiled, walking over to wrap you into a tight embrace, “you’re late..” he murmured, looking down at you.

giving a sheepish smile and a nervous laugh, you wrapped your arms around his waist, “sorry, kav. picked up some extra commissions that katherine had.”

he smiled, “you’re always too selfless-“ his hand raised, thumb rubbing along the scabbed over cut on your cheek, blood and mud caking it, “i just wanna put you in a bubble most of the time.”

“i’d still find a way to cause a ruckus or injure myself.” you laughed, blinking up at the blond, “now, i reaaaaally want to shower.”

“i can tell.” kaveh said with a teasing tone, thumb still stroking your cheek as his other hand held your waist, “mind if i join?”

a common request that you never usually turn down.

“if you want to.” you shrugged with a smile before slipping from his arms to grab his hand, fingers lacing together.

getting into the bathroom, you started to strip after turning on the water, steam filling the room.

kaveh let out a teasing whistle, shamelessly watching the little show in front of him, “i feel like i fall more and more in love with you every day.”

“even when i’m covered in mud and look like a mess?” you asked with a small laugh, raising an eyebrow.

“especially then.” he confirmed without missing a beat.

after stripping fully, you hopped into the shower and allowed the hot water to run along your sore muscles, the water turning a dark color from the dirt and sweat as it ran down the drain.

it didn’t take kaveh long before he followed suit, taking his place behind you. with delicate hands that fit an architect, he helped wash your hair and the mud from your body, and in return, you did the same for him.

resting his hands on your waist, he smiled down at you, “i missed you.” he murmured, placing a soft kiss on your lips, “it was boring being home before you.”

“i’m flattered.” you laughed teasingly, arms wrapping around kaveh’s neck, “i missed you as well.”

a comfortable silence fell between the two of you, the water hitting your back and dripping to the floor of the bathtub. turning to face the stream, your back now faced kaveh.

not wasting a second, he hugged you from behind, arms curling almost possessively around your waist, “you look cute..” he murmured, placing soft kisses to the base of your neck. one of his hands snaked down to between your legs, teasingly rubbing at your bundle of nerves.

“kaveh-“ you gasped out, hands gripping at his wrists yet not stopping him. the stimulation was making your legs tremble as he teasingly slid his fingers along your wet folds, collecting the juices to swirl around your clit.

“yes?” he asked, feigning innocence. his achingly hard cock pressed to the curve of your ass, drawing a soft noise from his throat when you ground back slightly.

your soft noises only egged him to continue his movements, slowly moving to dip his finger into your weeping cunt. first one, then two and three- when he added the fourth, you were nothing but a quivering mess in front of him. if it wasn’t for his sturdy hold around your waist, you surely would’ve collapsed from your trembling legs.

“kaveh-“ you moaned out, rolling your hips unconsciously against his hand as he fingered you with fervor, drawing you closer and closer to an orgasm, “‘m c-close-“

placing a soft kiss on the base of your neck, kaveh hummed, “go ahead and let go for me, love.” he whispered, fingers speeding up while his thumb started to rub at your puffy clit again.

with a pleasured cry, you came hard on his fingers, body growing tense. he continued to finger you, but slower to help you down from your high- only stopping to pull them out and replace them with his aching cock.

“are you ready?” he asked, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. his hands held you in place, your upper half-pressed to the tile of the wall in the bathtub.

“yes-“ came your shaky response followed by a nod, “please, kav-“ eyes wide and pleading, you peeked at the blond over your shoulder.

without wasting a moment longer, he sheathed his hard length inside you in one swift move, drawing a moan from your throat. he groaned softly, teeth nipping at the skin of your neck.

the sound of slapping skin and running water filled the room, kaveh’s pace immediately picking up and becoming brutal. one of his hands grasped at your thigh, pulling it slightly for a better angle to drive his cock into your weeping cunt, drawing even more noises from your pretty lips.

the delicious feeling of his hard length drawing along your gummy walls had you clenching around him, breathy moans leaving you, “k-kav-“ you gasped out, forehead pressing to the tile of the wall, “i-i’m-“

any other words were cut off as you came again, legs growing weak from the intense pleasure that only seemed to increase as he fucked you through your orgasm, hips snapping even faster.

“so.. tight-“ kaveh grunted as he felt your tight walls clench around his cock.

a small whine left your lips when he suddenly pulled out but any protest died off when he turned you around to face him, your back now pressed against the wall.

attaching his lips to yours in a deep kiss, he repositioned his hard length at your drooling cunt, teasingly rubbing it along your folds before dipping in again to return to the same pace as before.

kaveh’s hands found their homes at the back of your thighs as he lifted you slightly to get a better angle, his thrusts becoming deep and fast.

“kaveh!” you moaned out, arms wrapped around the blond’s neck. shallow crescent-shaped indents formed on his back from your nails as they dug into his skin, but he ignored the sting in favor of the feeling of your walls clenching perfectly around him.

“‘s too much-“ you whined out, overstimulation zapping at your body. he softly shushed you, placing tender kisses against your lips, cheeks, neck- anything to distract you.

“it’s okay, love.” he managed out around a few breathy moans of his own, “jus’ one more. can you do that for me?” his words were slightly slurred as he panted, lips attaching to your neck again.

nodding slightly, you clenched around him again, small moans leaving you as he continued to pound into your abused and puffy hole. a white ring was forming around the base of his cock, the sight only managing to turn him on even more as his hips moved faster than ever.

“close, ‘m c-close-“ you whined out, nails digging into kaveh’s back, “too much- ‘s too much-“ any other words became incoherent, but he could swear he heard the soft call of his name.

“shhh, shhh..” he cooed softly, hands digging into the soft skin of your thighs as he held you up, “just let go, mmkay? let go for me..”

a few more thrusts from him had you cumming again on his cock, a loud moan leaving you as your head tipped back, mouth falling open.

the sight of you squirting had kaveh moaning softly, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he slammed into you a few more times before burying his cock as deep as he could. not even a moment later, thick white ropes of his cum filled your drooling cunt and he groaned, forehead resting against your chest as you both tried to catch your breaths.

“are you okay?” kaveh asked a few moments later, gently pulling out to inspect for any damage or issues- he was always so caring afterward.

giving a small nod, your arms still wrapped around his neck. seeing as your boyfriend was the only thing keeping you standing, there was no point in letting go.

he smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before cleaning up the new mess that coated your lower bodies. globs of his cum dripped out of your puffy hole and he bit his bottom lip at the sight, eyes flickering back up to your face.

if it wasn’t for the exhausted look, he would’ve gone for a few more rounds. but he could tell just how tired you were, so he swallowed his thoughts and helped clean you up before assisting you out of the shower.

his hands gently worked the towel through your wet hair and down your overexerted body to collect any water before slipping one of his shirts and a pair of panties and shorts onto you.

he dried himself off and slipped his own clothes on before helping you to the bedroom, being gentle the entire time. kaveh mindlessly chatted the entire time, whispering small words of praise or sweet nothings.

settling you onto the bed, he joined immediately and cuddled you close under the blankets.

“g’night, kav..” you murmured with a yawn, burying your face against his chest. he smiled and ran a hand through your damp hair before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “love you…”

his heart fluttered at your words and sleepy voice, a smile forming on his lips as he pulled you closer, “i love you too. get some rest.”

the room soon filled with comfortable silence and the soft sound of breathing as you both fell asleep, embraced in each other's arms.

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ezziefae · 5 months

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Thoughts while reading The Prisoners Throne Excerpt

Here's a rushed annotation of some parts of the excerpt that really drew my attention. Jurdan fans be ready for many surprises.

"Imagine you have a weapon. They had been in Vivi’s second apartment, standing on a small metal balcony. Inside, Taryn and Vivi had been fussing over Leander, who was learning to crawl. The Ghost had asked about Oak’s training and been uninterested in the excuse that he was eleven, had to go to school, and couldn’t be swinging around a longsword in the common space of the lawn without neighbors getting worried."

(this is a flashback) Taryn’s child makes their first debut!! Taryn named the boy Leander. (I’m assuming its a boy name) Since the Ghost is in Vivi’s apartments could that be a hint that he’s romantically involved with Taryn? Or it could also be that he’s accompanied Taryn to protect her. It's super cool to see The Ghost and Oak training together.

"Oak had actually liked making his own sword. It was huge and black with a bright red hilt covered in demonish faces. It looked like the sword of someone in an anime he’d been watching, and he felt like a badass, holding it in his hands. The sight of Oak’s blade had made the Ghost smile, but he didn’t laugh. Instead, he started moving through a series of exercises, urging Oak to follow. He told the prince should call him by his non‑spy name, Garrett, since they were friends."

Love that Holly is still referencing anime in the Elfhame series. Can we also talk about The Ghost’s character development? In TFOTA series he always kept to himself, and now he’s letting his closest friends call him by his real name.

"The prince has been imprisoned three weeks, according to the tallies he’s made in the dust beneath the lone bench. Long enough to dwell on every mistake he has made on his ill‑fated quest."

THREE WEEKS??? What the heck have Jude and Cardan been doing for three weeks??? I honestly expected for him to be rescued asap. If anything Jude and Cardan have been carefully planning to save oak and I guess that takes a lot of time.

"His family must be in a panic right now. He trusts that Tiernan got Madoc to Elfhame safely, no matter what the redcap general wanted. But Jude would be furious with Tiernan for leaving Oak behind and even angrier with Madoc, if she guesses just how much of this is his fault."

I really want to see someone from Elfhame’s POV on Jude finding out on Oak being taken prisoner by Wren. I want to see a raging Jude. I’d be terrified to be in Tiernan’s place, since it was his job to protect Oak, and he failed that.

"Possibly Cardan would be relieved to be rid of Oak, but that wouldn’t stop Jude from making a plan to get him back. Jude has been ruthless on Oak’s behalf before, but this is the first time it’s scared him. Wren is dangerous. She is not someone to cross. Neither of them are."

OHH??? OHHH???? So many things are thrown at us here. Oak has a reason to believe that Cardan doesn’t like him??? To the point where Oak believes Cardan would even be RELIEVED to get rid of him? That was SUPER unexpected. Oak finally takes it in that neither Wren or Jude are people to cross. As much as I hate saying this, I want a Jude and Wren fight. That would be amazing. Not saying I want either of them to die, or get hurt, but that would be an intense scene.

“I can do better,” he says. “And perhaps you might bring me a little gossip to cheer the chilly monotony of my days.” “You’re very silly, Your Highness,” she says after a moment, biting her bottom lip a little.

Oak is using his most dangerous power, seduction. Screaming.

"He remembers Oriana’s warning to him when he was a child. A power like the one you have is dangerous, she said. You can know what other people most want to hear. Say those things, and they will not only want to listen to you. They will come to want you above all other things. The love that a gancanagh inspires—some may pine away for desire of it. Others will carve the gancanagh to pieces to be sure no one else has it."

I'm so glad holly is diving deep into this, We know that Locke also had this power, and how he was wielding it in TFOTA series.

"That night, he wakes to the sight of a snake crawling down the wall, its black metal body jeweled and glittering. A forked emerald tongue tastes the air at regular intervals, like a metronome. It startles him badly enough for him to back up against the bars, the iron hot against his shoulders. He has seen creatures like it before, forged by the great smiths of Faerie. Valuable and dangerous. The paranoid thought comes to him that poison would be one straightforward way to solve the problem of his being held by an enemy of Elfhame. If he were dead, there’d be no reason to pay a ransom."

Oak sees this snake, and he immediately thinks it was sent from elfhame to kill him. Which is insane for him to believe that.

"He doesn’t think his sister would allow it, but there are those who might risk going around her. Grima Mog, the new grand general, would know exactly where to find the prince, having served the Court of Teeth herself. Grima Mog might look forward to the war it would start. And, of course, she answered to Cardan as much as Jude."

"Not to mention there was always the possibility that Cardan convinced Jude that Oak was a danger to them both."

WHAT IS THIS DISAPPROVAL CARDAN HAS ON OAK?? The fact that Oak believes Cardan sent the snake to KILL HIMM, that's absolute madness. Like what the helll did this man do to Oak to make him feel this way?? Cryingggg.

"It yawns widely enough for him to see silver fangs. The links of its body move, and a ring comes up from its throat, clanging to the floor. He leans down and lifts it. A gold ring with a deep blue stone, scuffed with wear. His ring, a present from his mother on his thirteenth birthday and left behind on his dresser because it no longer fit his finger. Proof that this creature was sent from Elfhame. Proof that he was supposed to trust it."

THIS IS THE RING THAT'S ON THE COVER!! Now we know what the ring means to Oak!!

“Prinss,” it says. “In three daysssss, you mussss be ready for resssss‑cue.” “Rescue?” Not here to poison him, then. The snake just stares with its cold, glittering eyes.

Okay so Jude sent a snake as a messenger to Oak, to let him know that they're coming to save him in three days. Cool….coool.

“Give me longer,” he says, no matter that it’s ridiculous to negotiate with a metal snake and even more ridiculous to negotiate for his own imprisonment, just in order to get a chance to speak with someone who refuses to see him. “Two more weeks perhaps. A month.”

THIS STUBBORN BOYYYYYY. Oh I know Jude would be absolutely furious for that.

"Oak slides the ring onto his pinkie finger, watching the snake as it coils its way up the wall. Halfway to the ceiling, he realizes that just because it wasn’t sent to poison him doesn’t mean it wasn’t sent to poison someone."

BIG MISTAKE MISTER SNAKE, BIGGGGG MISTAKEEEE.

He jumps onto the bench and grabs for it, catching the end of its tail. With a tug, it comes off the wall, falling against his body and coiling around his forearm. “Prinsssss,” it hisses. As it opens its mouth to speak, he notes the tiny holes in the points of its silvery fangs. When it does not strike, Oak pries the snake carefully from around his arm. Then, gripping the end of its tail firmly, he slams it down against the stone bench. Hears the cracking of its delicate mechanical parts. A gem flies off. So does a piece of metal. He whips it against the bench again.

Oak really said “oh hell no, you're not killing the women i love, nah uh,” and then proceeds to kill it in a very violent unsettling manner. Everyone was right when they said that Oak was like Madoc.

Straun spits on the floor in front of the prince’s cage. “No amount of gold or gems will save you. If my winter queen wants you to rot here, you’re going to rot.” “Your winter queen?” Oak repeats, unable to stop himself. The falcon looks a little shamefaced and turns to go back to his post. He’s young, Oak realizes. Older than Oak, but not by so very much. Younger than Hyacinthe. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Wren made such an impression on him. It shouldn’t bother Oak, shouldn’t fill him with a ferocious jealousy.

THE JEALOUSY HAS ME CACKLING. He was imprisoned, neglected in his cell by wren and yet he's jealous whenever someone else has lovey dovey eyes for wren. This man is so down for wren, and I don’t blame him.

The Ghost taught him how to move stealthily, but he’s never been very good at it. He blames his hooves, heavy and hard. They clack at the worst possible times. But he makes an effort, sliding them against the floor to minimize noise.

Super cool to see how much The Ghost has impacted Oak's skills. The court of shadows in general has been a huge part in Oak’s training and it shows.

Oak moves fast, jerking Straun backward and covering his nose and mouth with the cloth. The guard struggles, but inhaling blusher mushroom slows his movements. Oak presses him to the floor until he’s unconscious.

THERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Welp, The excerpt ends in Oak escaping his cell…..after all thar chaos i've become too impatient. Just 3 Months until this book comes out !!!

#CARDAN DOESNT LIKE OAK?? THATS INSANE #JUDE AND CARDAN ARE REALLY COMING BACK #jude duarte #holly black #the folk of the air #jurdan #oak greenbriar #the prisoners throne #elfhame #the stolen heir #cardan greenbriar #the cruel prince #The Prisoners Throne Peeks

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a-cure-for-hysteria · 8 months

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A RANT ABOUT PARTY DRUGS AND PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS

(Expect little cohesion, don’t want to edit this after writing)

Another thing about medicine (both psychiatric and otherwise) is the lies we - collectively - tell ourselves about them. After seeing Dopesick on HBO, even my most conservatives relatives would agree that it’s “such a shame about that girl” and “who’s to say we wouldn’t end up like that with her life”. Basic empathy - finally - but bear with me.

The characters in Dopesick are pretty much fine until they are so tolerant or have been on Oxy so long that no doctor is willing to prescribe more. Then, they’re off to the streets, doing anything they can for oxy, heroin, later fentanyl. The only thing they had in common was some sort of injury happen to them, and a doctor sponsored by Purdue Pharma.

Personally, I have (due to a long list of diagnoses, of which none have been revoked as I got new ones, for some reason) automatically renewed prescriptions in almost all the drug categories. I have amphetamines, cannabinoids, zolpidem, pregabalin and benzodiazepines. If I ask nicely and have a good reason, I get Oxy too - luckily for me, my body has some sort of allergic reaction to opioids, so addiction is unlikely.

However, my cornucopia of legally prescribed substances is a constant, looming threat to my continued well-being, made even more so by the fact that I need them to survive. I just have to NOT go overboard. Sometimes that’s easy, sometimes it’s hard.

I’m 30-something now. I live a pretty calm life - child free with cats and a loving partner, somewhere in rural Northern Europe. Before that, I partied hard. I’ve tasted all the substances for fun (and later; out of social necessity) and let me tell you - the effect I get from a rail of amphetamine snorted from a CD cover at 02:47 AM on a Wednesday, at a party (three tweakers in a dirty apartment) I’d never attend sober… that clear, ready feeling, it’s the same as what I get from 60 mg of Vyvanse each morning.

“People with real ADHD don’t get high from their meds!” you might say. Your ignorance is forgiven. There is so much we don’t know about the brain, about ADHD (if it’s even ONE thing and not several, if it’s generic or trauma or both) and let me tell you - me being high on my meds IS what makes me do the dishes. Go to work. Remember how my partner feels before I take all the dinner scraps without asking if they’ve eaten. I am high. I have taken speed at parties and I know. Every day, I know.

There is no inherent difference between the speed you do at a party and the speed your doctor gives you. Sometimes prescribed speed is tied up with lysine, making you wait an hour before it kicks. Sometimes you get BAD speed at parties - levoamphetamine and not dextroamphetamine. Sometimes it’s cut with bad stuff. But - it’s the same. It’s the same it’s the same it’s the same.

I am as addicted as the guy living under the bridge. However, I get to call it meds and everyone is so happy about my go-getter attitude at work, and how I am a valuable asset to the company. My partner rejoices upon learning I now do my half of the chores. My mom says I seem happier, more well-adjusted. A friend tells me she considered just leaving me alone because I never seemed to get my shit together, but now my shit IS together. Nice!

I recently upped my dose from 30 to 2 x 30 mg Vyvanse. No problem - it even says so on the prescription that I can. I’ve been taking out two boxes at the pharmacy every month, but haven’t taken the correct dose since I started. I just didn’t need to, except now and then on stressful days. Now I need 60 mg, and it doesn’t even feel like 30 did in the start. What happens when 60 is no longer enough for me to feel the high that allows me to get anything done? And, am I lying to myself? Would 30 have been fine? I need, need, need the clear, ready feeling. And I need to get shit done. I need people to be happy with me.

Yes, that’s it. I need people to be happy around me. Is there a rehab for that?

#psychiatric medication #adult adhd #adhd memes #adhd things #adhd problems #adhd #audhd #audhd problems #actually audhd #party poison #substance use #psychopharmacology #autism #actually autistic #just adhd things #just autistic things #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder

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certifieddorianandcassiansimp · 3 months

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Bryce Quinlan

okay. I don’t think I’ve expressed my dislike for the main female of Crescent City enough. Here are my reasons and a little bit of ranting and comparisons.

Bryce Quinlan is SPOILED. She always gets what she wants for the consequences be damned.

Bryce refused Connor for so long only to promise a date THE DAY she breaks up with her boyfriend and he dies.

She acts like Danika couldn’t have kept anything from her and continues to be hurt over it when she was a rebel. Danika had the right to keep things and didn’t do anything wrong.

She ignores everything, not just advice, but common sense. In HOEAB, she basically doesn’t listen to anyone who says anything to her, she also doesn’t shy away from literal demons trying to kill her. (This is a common case of MCS but still.)

she’s a terrible mate. This is shown mostly in HOFAS when she dismisses Hunt over and over again, when his fears are very much valid.

she doesn’t take responsibility. Bryce Quinlan murdered two Fae kings and basically said that she didn’t want the kingdoms and all fae should suffer except her small group of people because of her father. That’s petty.

She doesn’t have a sense of urgency, she turns everything into a joke. And yes I know humor is a coping mechanism but you’re seriously going to stand there and joke about dying to your mate? After treating him like shit, and saying you’d come back to him when you knew you were going to sacrifice yourself, that’s not okay. And yes I know that Rhys basically did the same thing, but he never made such promises.

She is too stubborn to talk about her feelings with her own mate. Her mate begs for communication when she doesn’t give it and expects Hunt to repress his feelings as well. That’s just toxic.

She practically orders the queen of the underworld to make an antidote for a problem that’s been here for about 15,000 years in about an hour. That’s just not realistic.

Those are some reasons in general, but now I’m going to ramble about the first half of HOFAS when she was with Nesta and Azriel.

10. Bryce KNEW she was leading a deadly creature to strangers who were allowing her to live and explore as she pleased. I can’t fathom how angry this made me reading it, not just for the beloved ACOTAR characters having to do it, but it’s just unkind to your very kind captives.

11. Bryce listened to the story of Silene (I think that’s her name) with Azriel and Nesta beside her, and still didn’t trust them. 12. Bryce joked around with them, trying to understand them, but kept herself guarded, while yes, knowing your enemy is a great survival tactic, you could tell they didn’t think of her as a threat. 13. Bryce Adeline Quinlan awakened an Asteri in Prythian (or the prison, idk it’s been a while since ACOTAR.) and she didn’t even know how to kill it. In fact, she couldn’t kill it. Nesta, her badass self, slayed the crowd and the asteri. (not a complaint but I have to add the part where Az legit says ‘stick em with the pokey end!’ Love that part.)

14. After (not) defeating the asteri, she STEALS Azriel’s dagger and LEAVES. One, she stole from shadow baby and that’s never okay, two, she didn’t have plans to return it, and three, she didn’t even know how to wield it.

I also feel like Bryce should have to give something that’s a part of her up. In Feyre’s case, she gave up being human. In Aelin’s case, she gave up 90% (if not more) of her power. But then you have Bryce Quinlan. Around 24 years old, all three parents alive (until book three), and has nothing sacrificed. She should be shot down.

Okay I think I’m done now. But I have to say that after all of this I’d like to point out that I love the Maasverse and Crescent City, but I personally think it would be best without Bryce Quinlan as the main character. Thank you for coming to my Blab-Tok, goodbye.

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tater-tot-jr · 4 months

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I think I should put in my two cents considering the Hazbin hotel leaked Angel Dust clip. I’ll say that this post should be one absolutely massive trigger warning. If you’re sensitive please don’t read this, I’m pretty blunt. Also I’m only talking about a small leak but SPOILERS!!!

So before I make any points I’ll start by saying that I’m not an inherent fan of vivziepop, this isn’t meat riding, it’s a genuine attempt at open conversation and discussion. I’ll also say I’m a survivor myself and while I don’t claim to speak for anyone else I have some ground to stand on here. I completely understand that people can be triggered by this type of imagery and will at least skip this particular scene or episode, I promise I’m not talking about you guys.

You wanna know who I am talking about though? The weird ass moral police I’ve been watching mobilize. It’s crazy how people are making a big deal out of this. I’ve seen three arguments and all of them are terrible in themselves and being used to justify terrible behavior.

I’ve only seen people claim three major things, this is a bad depiction of a s/a survivor and situation, this is something that’s too graphic and immoral to put in a TV show, the fact that the singing and dancing lightens the tone in a way people find distasteful. I’m going to be trying to prove why I find these arguments mostly ridiculous and unfounded.

As for argument one, s/a survivors come in all shapes and sizes and hyper sexuality happens to be an incredibly common reaction to sexual trauma. I haven’t watched episode one and two but even if I had I’d still have too small of a sample size to determine the entire tone of an incredibly messed up complex dynamic between too incredibly interesting and layered characters. It’s ridiculous to have so many assumptions and expectations of an *11 second leaked clip.*

Secondly. Creative freedom is possible the most important thing in art. If we didn’t have the freedom to put what we wanted on paper or on screen then we wouldn’t have had so much societal change recently. Just because you might find something distasteful and immoral doesn’t mean it absolutely has to be hated on and removed. It’s okay to not like things because you find them gross, it’s okay to not enjoy graphic depictions of serious subjects, it’s not okay to start internet wars over moral bullshit. It’s okay to be mad in silence sometimes, guys.

Thirdly. I kinda get this one, I don’t agree with it but I do understand the point. The idea you don’t want a serious subject framed with a sexy pop song is not inherently bad, it’s just something that makes me think you wouldn’t have liked Hazbin Hotel anyway. I actually appreciate the fact they are using the creative medium to make bold and shocking decisions but I get some people are sensitive to new things, that’s fine. Where this argument gets ridiculous is when people act like this is very out of line for a show like this. This isn’t a Saturday morning kids cartoon it’s and adult animated show about people in hell. It’s highly likely that this won’t be the worst thing we see, you either need to heed the trigger warnings at the beginning of each episode or get over it.

You’ll notice that I didn’t bring up anything about the merchandise pins or the storyboard artist, I did this because they aren’t arguments but barely related attempts at character assassinations. When you spend five minutes thinking about them critically you come to realize that there is nothing substantial to those arguments.

I’d like to finish up talking about how I think this scene is doing more good than harm. It’s important to make people uncomfortable when you’re talking about things so horrible like s/a and rape. It shouldn’t be meek and palatable for a general audience, it should upset you. I remember hearing something in a video game once that stuck with me. There was a character who said that when you’re sick you need strong medicine and that the strongest medication is very bitter.

I think episode four will be some very bitter medicine.

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #feel free to leave a comment if you disagree #it’s important to engage in discussions and I’d love to hear some other perspectives #if you leave a comment with arguments against any points I made I’ll do my best to respond to you with a potential counter argument #and it should go without saying that if I watch the episode and realize I’m completely wrong I’ll post a public apology

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withthewindinherfootsteps · 2 years

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Wei Wuxian and the nice, broad road: or, part two of why constantly self-sacrificial Wei Wuxian takes bother me so much (part one part three):

(Long post ahead)

Something that’s very prevalent in self-sacrificial Wei Wuxian takes, or self-sacrificial takes on any character, is that they’re not only self-sacrificial… they’re also an idiot. As in, they don’t think things through, the first impulse they have when they see anyone in danger is to throw themselves in front of them even if there’s a way that means neither have to get hurt, and even if that person’s not in any serious danger at all. And that combines with the common take of self-hatred and extremely low self-worth to form the image of someone who’ll throw themselves recklessly at any danger with no consideration for any consequences or alternate paths, and are almost seeking to throw their life away.

The thing with Wei Wuxian, though, is that he’s not seeking to throw his life away at any given moment. And, more importantly to this meta, he’s clever and he’s capable. If he can find another way out of it, and the majority of the time he probably can, he’ll choose that option. What I’m trying to say is that, if he sees someone being ambushed by a monster, he’ll distract it, fight it himself, and almost always win. He won’t throw himself in front of its claws.

However, the problem that arises with the story of MDZS is that there is no other way out. The thing endangering those under his protection isn’t some monster he can fight, it’s the corrupt structure of the society itself. Those in power are only able to manipulate its threads by virtue of their birth and therefore status (almost everyone), or in rare cases by using that structure to your own advantage and engaging in very corrupt methods to clear your path to the top (Jin Guangyao). And neither of those are an option for Wei Wuxian, the ‘son of a servant’ who will never join in with that corruption.

(And he isn’t the only person we see in this situation. We see the same thing with Mianmian, and she can’t oppose this either — the best thing she can do is walk away.)

Wei Wuxian actually summarised his situation very clearly, when talking to Lan Wangji at the Burial Mounds:

A moment later, Wei WuXian spoke up, “Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?” He continued, “Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain? “Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.” He continued, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.” Lan WangJi gazed at him. He didn’t reply, but both of them knew the answer in their hearts. There was no such road. No solution existed.

- Chapter 75, EXR translation

This is in regard to Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation, but the same rings true for everything else he does at cost to himself in the story. Not sacrifice his Golden Core? Then Jiang Cheng, whose whole sense of self-worth was dependent on being a cultivator, would waste away with no spiritual power and no will to live*. Not save the Wen remnants? Then they’d stay in the labour camp and live and die in horrendous conditions. Not painting the spirit attraction mark on himself to save everyone else at the Second Siege? Then they’d die, because what else could be done? And it’s important to know that he didn’t do it alone here, he had Lan Wangji help defend him as well.

So he technically did have an option every time, yes. But that one option was letting others get hurt, and he’s not going to do that. There was no third path. There was no nice, broad road.

But we see that that broad road is very much one Wei Wuxian would like to walk on.

Wei WuXian smiled, “Why would I leave the nice, broad road, and walk on a single-plank bridge on a dark, narrow river instead? If it really is that easy, people would have already walked on it.”

- Chapter 14, EXR

Again, this refers to demonic cultivation. And again, this can be adapted to every other action he takes. Because there are plenty of situations when there is a third option. And in those cases, he finds the way around it! Wei Wuxian is incredibly smart, incredibly creative, and an incredibly quick thinker — none of us in the fandom should forget that.

And thankfully, there are examples of this in the text. Let’s take a closer look at one specifically: defending Mianmian in the Xuanwu’s cave**, and stopping her being used as bait.

(Long passage ahead)

Watching his subordinates fight with [Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan], Wen Chao looked as if his mood was much better. He spat, “Talking back to me—what did you think you are? People like you really do deserve to be killed.”

A grinning voice came from the side, “That’s right. All those who oppress others and do evil relying on the power of their clan should be killed. Not only that, they should be beheaded for tens of thousands to revile so that those to come would beware.” Hearing this, Wen Chao spun around, “What did you say?” Wei WuXian pretended to be surprised, “Do you need me to repeat it? Sure. All those who oppress others and do evil relying on the power of their clan should be killed. Not only that, they should be beheaded for tens of thousands to revile so that those to come would beware. You heard it this time?” Hearing this, Wen ZhuLiu seemed to ponder as he glanced at Wei WuXian. Wen Chao erupted, “How dare you say such absurd, outrageous, and pretentious words!” Wei WuXian first lifted the corners of his mouth with a ‘pfft’, then immediately burst into unbridled laughter. Under everyone’s shocked eyes, he laughed so hard that he was out of breath, clutching Jiang Cheng’s shoulder as he spoke, “Absurd? Outrageous? I’d say you’re the one who’s all of those! Wen Chao, do you know who was the one that said those words? I’m sure you don’t, do you? Let me tell you. This was said by the most, most, most famous cultivator of your sect, the one who founded the entire thing, Wen Mao. You dared say that one of your ancestor’s remarks are absurd and outrageous? Well said, very well said! Ahahahahaha…” Within the Quintessence of the Wen Sect that had been given out, even the most ordinary of smalltalk comments could be analyzed over and over, their deep meanings boasted with exceptional extravagance. Let alone memorizing it well, Wei WuXian felt disgusted after just flipping through its pages. However, he found this quote of Wen Mao’s quite ironic, which was why he could recall it with ease. Wen Chao’s complexion switched between red and white. Wei WuXian added, “Right, what was the accusation given to those who insult famous cultivators of the Wen Sect again? How should they be punished? I remember that it was execution, right? Yes, very well, you can go die now.” Wen Chao couldn’t hold himself back any longer, unsheathing his sword and lunging at Wei WuXian. With that, he lunged out of Wen ZhuLiu’s range of protection. Wen ZhuLiu had always been used to defending against the attacks of others. He had never expected Wen Chao to leave by his own will. Facing the sudden difficulty, he somehow couldn’t react in time. On the other hand, as Wei WuXian provoked Wen Chao, he was precisely waiting for the moment of uncontrollable rage. The smile by his lips didn’t falter at all as he attacked with the speed of lightning. In a split second, he had snatched the sword and reversed the situation, subduing Wen Chao with just one move! One hand gripping Wen Chao, he leaped a few times and landed on one of the islets above the pool, keeping his distance from Wen ZhuLiu. With his other hand he pressed the sword onto Wen Chao’s neck, warning, “Nobody move. If you’re not careful, I might just decide to let some blood out of your Young Master Wen!” Wen Chao screeched, “Stop moving! Stop moving!” The disciples surrounding Lan WangJi and Jin ZiXuan finally ceased their attacks. Wei WuXian shouted, “Core-melting Hand, you’re not moving either! You know how the temper of the Wen Sect’s leader is. Your master is in my hand. If he loses just one drop of blood, then not one of the people here should hope to live on, including you!” Wen ZhuLiu put his arms down as Wei WuXian had expected. Seeing that the situation was under control, Wei WuXian was about to speak when he suddenly felt that the entire ground below him had trembled.

- Chapter 52, EXR

Important things to take away? Firstly, it’s Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan who are the ones standing in front of the metaphorical (and literal) blades here, risking their own well-being and health for someone else to protect them directly. That’s their first instinct. Wei Wuxian’s is not***. His thought process is this: taunt and enrage Wen Chao, the powerless person in charge, into leaving the protection of the actually powerful person everyone’s scared of, and then use the opportunity of him being undefended to use him as leverage to get Mianmian free****. And he succeeds in that! It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know about the Xuanwu’s presence, the Wen clan were very deliberately keeping that information a secret.

That is very well thought through, especially for such a short timespan, and especially considering the actions of the only other two people who tried to protect Mianmian — a protective stand-off that they very probably could not win, with the likes of Wen Zhuliu around. I repeat: they are the ones standing in the way of the blade here. Wei Wuxian is not. This is what Wei Wuxian does in situations like these, this is how he solves problems! He’s not unthinkingly reckless, he is not a self-sacrificial idiot.

…not that I’m saying Lan Wangji is one either, but he’s never portrayed as one anyway.

And just for the fun on it, let’s take a look at the branding scene too, to see if we can pick anything else up:

Just as he was about to let go, a cry suddenly came from behind him. The cry was full of fear. Turning around, Wei WuXian saw Wang LingJiao give orders to three servants. Two of them brutishly held MianMian in place, clenching her face, while the other raised the branding iron in his hand and thrusted it toward her face! The tip of the iron was so heated that it sizzled and shone with red light. Wei WuXian was some distance away from them. Seeing what was happening, he immediately shifted the direction of the arrows and let go of the string. The three arrows shot out at once and hit each of the three people. Without making a noise, they fell backward onto the ground. Yet, before the bowstring even ceased to vibrate, Wang LingJiao suddenly grabbed the iron that had fallen as well. Gripping MianMian’s hair, she again shoved it toward her face! Even though Wang LingJiao’s level of cultivation was extremely low, her move was both swift and cruel. If she really did it, even if MianMian could keep her eye, her face would be completely ruined. A woman like her, even under such dangerous circumstances where people were prepared to flee at a moment’s notice, still kept her persistent thoughts of harming others! All of the other disciples were setting up their arrows, handling the beast with all of their attention. Nobody was near these two. There were no more arrows on Wei WuXian and there wasn’t enough time to grab someone else’s. Under the urgency of these circumstances, he rushed over, one hand striking away the arm that Wang LingJiao grabbed MianMian’s hair with and the other landing forcefully at her chest. Having undertaken the strike, Wang LingJiao heaved up a mouthful of blood and flew backward. However, the tip of the iron had already pressed onto Wei WuXian’s chest.

- Chapter 53, EXR

…as you can see, there’s a lot more to this than blindly rushing in front of the branding iron. Again, what can we take from this?

One, Wei Wuxian’s first instinct, again, is not to take the strike directly. He shoots the three servants holding down and actively trying to brand Mianmian, eliminating the threat to her. Wang Lingjiao at the time was just giving orders, she wasn’t an active threat — everyone else was fighting the Xuanwu, there was nobody else to give orders to.

But, surprising him, Wang Lingjiao immediately picks up the branding iron. And, like the servant, she aims it at Mianmian’s face. As Wei Wuxian remarks later, that’s a mark she couldn’t hide — her face would be ruined forever, and considering the setting of this world where marriage is extremely important to women society-wise, it would have lasting consequences for Mianmian’s whole life. Marks to the chest, at least you can hide.

And nobody else is focusing on Mianmian, and there’s no time for Wei Wuxian to call for help from anyone else. Ranged attacks aren’t an option, since he’s out of arrows. And only then does he rush straight to Mianmian, to save her directly.

And even then his first thought isn’t to throw himself in front of the iron! His aim in that instance is to strike the iron away from Wang Lingjiao, and to strike Wang Lingjiao away from Mianmian. And during that time, because both hands were occupied, the iron strikes his chest, and he gets the brand mark. Taking it for Mianmian was not the main aim here — though he was willing to risk it.

So, what do we learn from this?

Wei Wuxian’s first instinct is not to put himself in danger to help others. It’s to get the danger away from the one in danger, and then deal with it himself — something fully within his capabilities.

He admits he’s talking “nonsense” when telling Lan Qiren about demonic cultivation for the first time, probably to get himself kicked out of class, but what he says is actually very true when it comes to how Wei Wuxian generally solves problems.

Wei WuXian replied, “There are some things that have no use after liberation, so why not find a way to make use of them? When Yu the Great tamed the flood, obstruction was the inferior method, and redirection was the superior.

- Chapter 14, EXR

He doesn’t stand right in front of it, he doesn’t directly obstruct it from reaching its target by standing in-between the two. He redirects it to somewhere else.

And this pattern rings true throughout the book. Dealing with the fierce corpse of Madam Mo? Use his own corpses to get her attention instead. Same rings for the Dancing Goddess of Dafan Mountain, who’s currently advancing on Jin Ling? Same thing, summoning corpses — he doesn’t attempt to place himself in its way. He’s someone who thinks around the issue, calculates a plan (in a very short time, may I add), and much more often than not, succeeds! He’s willing to risk his life, but that is not the primary aim. Of course, when there are only two options — directly protecting or letting others get hurt — he chooses to protect. And since that is the case with his two biggest decisions in the story, so many people see that as his default instinct when it comes to dangerous situations. But when there is a nice, broad road to walk on, where nobody at all gets hurt, he finds that, and follows it, gladly.

Wei Wuxian is not a self-sacrificial idiot. He’s a clever, righteous person who’s willing to sacrifice his life for others, but who can and will take another option if one exists. The two are not in any way the same.

—

*I feel like this is an important part of the core transfer that’s overlooked, actually — it’s not just “your core is worth more than mine”, (although with the Jiang parents’ promise to protect Jiang Cheng at all costs, a similar mindset may have played a part in this one specific scenario), it’s “your self-worth and meaning of life derives entirely on your core and being a good cultivator, whereas I can live for and enjoy more than that, and won’t utterly lose my will to live if I can’t cultivate, unlike you”. And for all it hurts, he ends up being right (and even invents a whole new path of cultivation out of necessity). That isn’t saying the sacrifice isn’t emotionally painful for Wei Wuxian, though, it is a lot, and we saw that with his thoughts on it at the Guanyin Temple.

**I also wanted to talk a bit about him defeating the Xuanwu with Lan Wangji, but I couldn’t find anywhere to fit it in. Similar to the Golden Core thing, him distracting it while Lan Wangji did the killing isn’t a “your life is worth more than mine” thing. Lan Wangji was the only one who knew the Chord Assassination technique, which was the only way either of them could think to kill the Xuanwu, as any weapons were useless. In addition to that, Lan Wanji’s leg was injured, so he couldn’t swim anyway. The only option left was for Wei Wuxian to distract it, and he was capable enough to survive! And yes, it was dangerous, but the mindset of both of them in that moment was that they had no way of knowing help would come for them, and that their only chance of escape by themselves was to kill the Xuanwu — and you might as well kill it before you die, anyway. For all they knew, both of them would have died if he hadn’t done that, and so whatever happened was worth it. This is not a mindless ‘your life before mine’ mindset, he thought this through.

***He actually did instinctively twitch a little as if to move when Mianmian was being surrounded, but Jiang Cheng held him back. However, he's a much stronger cultivator than Jiang Cheng at this point, and could have easily broken out of his grasp to directly protect Mianmian had he wished to. But he didn't choose that option, and decided, very quickly, to instead do what we see here. As @/rynne pointed out (thank you very much!), that's a clear moment when he's faced with a choice to be self-sacrificial, or solve the problem another way. And he decidedly chooses the latter.

****Actually, Wei Wuxian taunts others into accomplishing his goals quite a lot. He’s not a long-game manipulator like Jin Guangyao or Nie Huaisang, but playing on their emotions to get the result you want in the short term? Look at Lan Wangji and the destruction of the porn book, look at Lan Qiren and getting kicked out of his the class in the Cloud Recesses (when talking about using resentful energy, his own thoughts tell us he’s talking “nonsense”, and clearly wanted to leave the class — this was likely a bid to to just that), look at taunting Xue Yang into talking so he reveals his location in the mists of Yi City. I hardly ever see him doing this in fanon, which is kind of sad, because it’s very interesting definitely something he uses to solve problems (and something people could very well use instead of throwing himself in front of everything!)… and if we have to go there, no, I don’t think that makes him ‘morally grey’ either.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #my meta #debunking fanon wei wuxian the series

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disciple-of-owen · 6 months

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In Defence of Katara’s Immaturity

Katara is an amazing character: an empowered, three-dimensional indigenous fantasy heroine that inspired a generation of creative minds. She is the idol of millions, and rightly so.

The problem is that, when a character is admired (even rightly), certain fandom echo chambers tend to distort said character’s canon nature. Their flaws, failings, and moments of general unpleasantness are ignored or rationalised until they disappear altogether, which leads to these same echo chambers asking, “Why isn’t this character we’ve created allowed to be imperfect? It must be the fault of the characters we don’t like!”

In the case of Katara, one of the most common manifestations of this phenomenon is the ‘Momtara’ trope. In this trope, Katara is portrayed as a tragic, Cinderella-esque figure: a girl burdened with the responsibility of being her friends’ supportive mother figure. Advocates of this trope insist that Katara is the character least allowed to have faults or act her age, and that she constantly has to set aside her own wants and needs for the sake of the people around her. To this take, I have a simple rebuttal.

Horseshit.

One of the great things about Katara’s portrayal in ATLA is that she is FLAWED. She makes mistakes. She puts her friends in danger. She expresses jealousy, pettiness, selfishness, and many of the other wonderful faults that make characters rich. As evidence, I’d like to touch on a few of Katara’s less flattering moments throughout he series, along with a bit of analysis. Note, this is NOT by any means an exhaustive list.

Moment 1: The Kyoshi Warriors

God, I love how REAL this episode is when it comes to the childish disagreements that happen between young teens. When the people of Kyoshi Island begin showering Aang with gifts and adulation, he lets the attention go to his head and wastes hours showboating for a fawning audience. Katara, who had monopolised Aang’s attention up to this point, becomes increasingly jealous. This leads to the following gem of an argument between them.

“You’re not gonna stop me?”

“Nope. Have fun.”

“I will.”

“Great.”

“I know it’s great.”

“I’m glad you know!”

“I’m glad you’re glad!”

“Good!”

“Fine!”

How anyone can say Katara acted like Aang’s mom when this exchange exists is beyond me. Both of them are being ridiculous and petty and ABSOLUTELY acting their age here.

Moment 2: The Great Divide

While many people would rather forget this episode (it is by far the series’s weakest) there is a wonderful moment in the beginning during the Gaang’s camp setup. Katara tells Sokka that he should set up their tent’s rain tarp, a suggestion Sokka dismisses. It’s the dry season, he claims; work smarter, not harder! This escalates into a full-blown argument involving thrown sticks, collapsed tents, and name calling from both sides that is only resolved when Aang steps in. Once again, Katara is being immature. Once again, this immaturity is 100% consistent with her age and personality.

Moment 3: The Waterbending Scroll

I honestly don’t see how someone could argue that Katara is not incredibly irresponsible and self-centred in this episode. First, she steals a scroll from pirates, knowingly putting her group in the crosshairs of dangerous men for her own ambitions. Then, when Aang commits the crime of mastering one of its moves before her, she completely blows her stack at him (almost bringing him to tears). Finally, on top of all that, she lies about being over the scroll and then sneaks off on her own to train, leading to her, Aang, and Sokka all being captured. These are not the actions of a mom, or even a ‘mom-friend’; these are the actions of a child desperate to recover a part of their culture that was lost to colonialism. To adultify Katara robs her of this opportunity.

Moment 4: The Avatar State

Honestly, I feel like this episode (and Katara’s behaviour in it) isn’t talked about nearly enough. When Aang is offered the opportunity to end the war early by bypassing his training and mastering the Avatar State, he takes it. His position is understandable; he’s already late to the war, and wants to do whatever possible to minimise the loss of life. Katara disagrees with his decision, feeling that he should continue his training in the traditional way. The problem is that when Aang tries to explain his reasoning, she calls him a meathead and storms off. While there is nothing inherently wrong with her viewpoint, her reaction to it being challenged is childish and hurtful. Because guess what? 14 year olds are childish and hurtful sometimes. Moments like these are part of what make Katara such a believable character.

Just to reiterate, this is not at all an anti-Katara post. I love Katara. She is one of my favourite fictional characters. And it is because she is one of my favourite fictional characters that I don’t want people to reduce her to ‘the Gaang’s mom’ or a Strong Woman TM. Yes, Katara is a wonderful person; she is brave, passionate, kind, and yes, nurturing. But she is also a child, and has all the flaws, contradictions, and inconsistencies that come with that. As lovers of storytelling, we should celebrate all these facets of her character, not just pick and choose the ones that are easily digestible.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #anti momtara

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pyxilatezero · 25 days

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An Honest Review of Mean Girls (2024)

I have seen so many negative reviews of this movie, and I have to say one thing to you guys: you obviously weren’t the target audience if you hated this movie.

First, let me break down some of their complaints, and then I’ll give you the rundown of my personal opinion.

Common Complaint Number One: Renée Rapp’s acting was bad.

Do I need to explain to you why you’re stupid, or are you going to see yourself out the door? If her acting was bad, I’m the next Queen of England. Not only did she bring life to a different version of Regina George, she clearly put some effort into portraying that character. She was probably the second best actor in this movie.

Common Complaint Number Two: Angourie Rice was miscast as Cady Heron; Her singing is bad, her acting is flat, ect.

If I was someone who had just moved to America from another country, I would be reserved too. I would show my emotions less, and I would probably try and do things to fit in with other people I wouldn’t normally do. While I admit her performance can’t match up to Lindsay’s, I also say: can YOU act that well? No. These are professionals. If you think that you can act better, then I’d better see you when they make a musical version of Mean Girls 2. And your complaints with the singing are unfair. She’s Australian- do you know how hard it is to sing with an accent? Oh, well she could just keep the accent when singing- DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFERENT AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT IS FROM A KENYAN ONE? The door is to your right.

Common Complaint Number Three: The Fashion is bad. (WARNING: Long segment)

This is… wow. I’m disappointed. Honestly, I am. While some of the choices are questionable, do you know how much effort was put into these outfit designs? The first time we see Regina, for example, we see her in all black. Black can represent power, but it can also represent hatred, as another thing; a reference to Cady being told she should hate Regina by her friends. Later on, at the end of the movie, she wears black, all the way up until she gets hit by a bus (which, contrary to what some people say, was not left out of the movie). To show her hatred for Cady. While the outfits may not be perfect, they are quite fitting. To introduce Cady in school, she wears blue- colors associated with sadness, but also nerves. Throughout the movie, Cady is nervous- first to be at school, then to lose her friends, and then to topple Regina, take her place, and be in power. Just because the fashion isn’t perfect and doesn’t make the characters look like models doesn’t mean the acting is bad. (Also, Regina would never use ELF? I am friends with someone who is essentially Regina George but less mean and not as rich, but still pretty up there, and I assure you, she uses ELF)

Complaint Number Four: ALL OF THE SINGING IS AWFUL

…

Are you deaf? Actually, no. That’s insulting to the deaf people. If you seriously think that all of the songs are awful, you need to never listen to music ever again because you are a disgrace to this society. I will admit, not all of the songs were bangers, but I still have What-Ifs stuck in my head (I agree with one thing, Stupid With Love, both the movie and musical versions, can go with Regina by that bus through)

Complaint Number Five: It’s too much like the original movie but not close enough to the original movie

This is the most common thing I see. People stating that it’s ’trying too hard to be the original movie’ but that it ‘left out key details in the movie that would make it more like the original movie’. Seriously, SHUT UP. Nobody wants to hear you being all ambivalent about your fake reason for hating the movie because someone else told you it’s bad.

Common Complaint Number Six: The acting is bad.

youtube

Look me in the eyes and tell me the actors did not pour their heart and soul into this film. You can’t. There’s the door. Go outside. Touch grass.

Common Complaint Number Seven: It wasn’t marketed as a musical!!!

youtube

Do you… not see the music note? Okay, you’re blind. Got it 👍 But if you’re so blind, then almost none of the previous complaints are valid because you couldn’t see the movie.

But in all honesty, this one just legitimately pisses me off, because it just means that people can’t be bothered to pay attention to something that is made obvious to them. Sure, the first trailer didn’t include singing, but it was to get you hooked on the idea, not to advertise the movie. Wake up sheeple.

MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS:

I have my own flurry of complaints. Well, no I don’t. Just two or three. 1. Cady’s entire personality was liking Aaron. I’m sorry, I can’t like a main character who is, in effect, like half the people who dislike this movie, a sheep. And I will admit, there were a FEW times the emotion shown by Cady wasn’t as perfect as it could have been. But it’s not a movie killer. 2. I don’t think the movie addresses very well that Janis was also mean. The ‘At least me and Regina KNOW we’re mean’ gave Janis’s treatment of Cady more effect; made Cady come off less as a villain and more as a victim, whereas the new one completely glosses over it and makes it seem like Janis was the one in the right all along. And three, Cady should have kissed Regina at the beginning and none of this would have happened. If you’re going to give us gay Janis, GIVE US OUR CADINA DAMMNIT.

Otherwise, this movie was amazing! I am a lesbian tho so maybe that’s not objective :P

FINAL RATING: 9/10

LESBIAN O’ METER: 6/10 (Kinda Gay, NGL)

#mean girls 2024 #cadina #mean girls movie #regina george #movie review #Youtube

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gothamcitycentral · 2 years

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Conrtoversial onion: object Pokemon are good and to point at them as proof that they "ran out of ideas" is ridiculous because 1. they make up a very small percentage of any dex, really and 2. it does take a lot of creativity to take something that isn't even alive and make it feel like it could be. Garbodor is my best friend

YES. Especially because object mon are so often judged completely at 1st glance instead of being examined for what they fully are. A Pokémon shouldn’t be given value based on “object or not” but rather how they use “object” in their design

The Garbordor line, Klefki, and the Chandelure line are pretty frequently harped on, but I think they all use the nature of “object” very well.

Trubbish and Gardordor aren’t plain old piles of trash. First, they use trash bags to give them dimension and proper shape. Then they use that shape to give cues to alley / trash cats (Trubbish being featured in official artwork with other cat mon) and literal dust bunnies. Furthermore, I hate the notion that they’re an example of “running out of ideas”, Unova is based on New York City, of course they’d take a jab at pollution, especially since they complete the trifecta of Muk and Weezing. Water pollution, air pollution, and now land pollution. Not to mention that to me, they just look like friends! They don’t even have a foul order if eating a proper diet.

Klefki is, well, easy to insult. It’s design on it’s own doesn’t move very fair beyond keychain, a personified, charming, and very cute keychain, but still a keychain. However, if you look at them as whole, it’s concept is crystal clear. It’s a Fairy type, after all. It’s a very common trope for fae creatures to take interest in human objects and such without quite understanding what they are. Klefki is fascinated by keys, so collect keys it will.

When it comes to the Litwick, Lampent, and Chandelure, the immediate thing to acknowledge is that they are, well, ghosts. The possession of objects is ghost trope 101. Even then, they’re not just possessed objects. Litwick’s nature as a melting candle is used to personify it, it has a little hair cut, a mischievous grin, and tiny little hands. It creates a simultaneous cute and sinister character very effectively. Design trends like these carry throughout the line. Lampent uses its fire to form a mouth and its handles to create surprisingly natural arms. The artwork of real life chandeliers is used give Chandelure very seamless eyes and mouth, along with its candle holding features becoming still expressive arms. Three stage lines run the risk of middle stage syndrome, where the middle stage is an awkward middle ground between the first and final stages. Lampent however, can function completely on its own. This line uses a very natural progression of different objects to advance through evolution that gives each stage its own identity. Furthermore candles, lanterns, and chandeliers are very ghostly I’d say. How common is it in ghost media would a character take a candle stick or lantern to guide them through the haunted house or forest? Making it so that the candle is what’s haunting you all along, is brilliant.

Even with Pokemon I don’t like all that much on a personal level, there’s still merit to their designs.

Voltorb and Electrode don’t seem like all that much on their own. They’re just living Pokeballs, how lazy! You have to realize that they’re Pokémon’s installment of the RPG trope of mimics. You’re supposed to go after them thinking “oh cool an item!” only to be met with either angry eyes or a smug grin that explodes in your face. It’s genuinely clever and charming when properly contextualized.

Vanillite, Vanillish, and Vanilluxe aren’t my favorite Pokémon, but I strongly disagree that they’re “just floating ice cream”. The line uses snow to decorate themselves to charm their way close to prey so they can freeze them to death. Those aren’t even their eyes, just apart of their charmingly innocent ruse. I particularly like their cones, using sharply defined icicles to be their base body is genuinely cool. I also like this small bit of world building with just their existence, there’s an implication that the Pokemon world invented ice cream from inspiration from these mons.

TLDR: Object mon are good, actually.

#my asks #pokemon #trubbish #garbodor #klefki #litwick #lampent #chandelure #voltorb #electrode #vanillite #vanillish #vanilluxe #didn’t mean to make this so long xxfyhdt

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castironpride · 1 year

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So Gokuluck has a dog theme.

I don’t think I’m bringing you any breaking news by saying this, they do kind of beat you over the head with it. But! What you might not know is that three of the four are based on specific dog breeds! I’d like to talk a little about them and how those breeds relate to their personalities. I’ll even give you a little info about the dogs themselves and their history, because in at least one case it does tie into the character! I don't think I've ever seen anyone specifically talk about this so I wanted to fill that gap in.

A fun detail: all three of them are based on Japanese protected heritage breeds*, their relevant breed shows up in their last name. Almost all of the heritage breeds are some variety of working dog, and to put it delicately they don’t have easy-to-handle personalities. So we’re already starting off entirely on brand.

"hey raz where's yuto" he's busy not having anything in his name that refer to a specific breed (though there's still a reference in there because, you know, Inukai) so we're just assuming he's a generic mutt ok

*This is the closest translation I got in terms of something that has an English equivalent. Basically there's an association in Japan called the Nihon Ken Hozonkai which was formed to promote and protect breeds seen as historically important, and all of these are protected breeds!

Ryoga Tosa: Tosa Inu

While he uses the MC name Pitbull, his actual namesake is not a pitbull-alike but still a molossiform breed! I couldn’t tell you if the Tosa Inu has what would widely be considered the definitive pitbull breed (American Staffordshire Terrier) in its breed lineage but just by looking I would be very surprised if that were the case, they’re much more on the mastiff end of things.

So, while the other two breeds are hunting dogs, the Tosa Inu has a very different purpose. They’re fighting dogs. In fact, dog fighting rings are still active in some parts of Japan, just quite rare, and you can only do dog fighting with a Tosa (important note: this does not make it morally justifiable for obvious reasons, if I even have to say that.) Japanese dogfights have rules against dogs barking or growling so Tosas rarely make vocalizations.

Well, I wouldn’t say a speech disorder is directly comparable to that but I do think it’s a neat little reference of sorts. The rest is kind of obvious, I think. Ryoga was basically used as an attack dog by the gang that he joined.

Shion Kaida: Kai Ken

Kai Ken have the reputation of being the easiest to handle out of the heritage breeds. I should note that’s not saying a lot, these are not breeds intended to be companion dogs.

That aside...this is somewhat unusual for a hunting dog, since they need to be independent on some level in order to range outwards from their handler while doing their job. While Kai Ken still are aloof compared to….say, a Labrador, that’s not an entirely fair comparison. They also were primarily used as pack hunters so they’re much more amiable around other dogs than most of the heritage breeds. Seems appropriate for the most relaxed person in the group!

Kai Ken are very visually striking, because all Kai Ken have the brindle mutation! This gives them the appearance of having tiger stripes, to the point that another name for the Kai Ken is “Tora Ken” (lit. tiger dog.) There’s three colors that occur in the breed: red, brown, and black brindle. As far as I know albinism isn’t any more or less common within the breed than it is any other dogs (for the record, some breeds have disproportionate tendencies towards albinism) but hey, his whole deal is he stands out when he doesn’t necessarily want to, right?

Kenta Mikoshiba: Shiba Inu

Shiba Inu are by a long shot the most famous breed on this, so you might already be aware they have…strong personalities. They’re often described as being almost feline in behavior. They are exceptionally stubborn and have a reputation as being hard to work with.

Well, that sure doesn’t sound like anyone we know. Funny enough what doesn’t fit is like most of the other heritage breeds they aren’t very loud or barky, though this is more a quirk of falling within the general category of “primitive breeds” (sorry for the name, it’s just a term for dogs who are closer to wolves.) Wolves don’t really vocalize much, barking is actually a pup behavior and dogs are in part neotenized wolves, so…yeah! It’s also convenient for humans since it means dogs act as an early warning system for anything they’d see as a threat. Predators, natural disasters, mailmen…

Side note: Shion’s nickname of Shibaken for him is just another name for the breed. I feel like if this came out in 2014 there would be at least one fan translator who would translate it as “Shibe.” I defy you to tell me I’m wrong. Also I can't help but think him being intensely online isn't somehow inspired by Shibas being kind of an internet meme.

Conclusion

And that’s my little mini essay on GokuLuck! I don’t have anything super detailed in me yet on account of the reading Hume that’s taken over my life (help) but I hope that helps you understand them a little better and/or you got a few neat dog facts out of this! :>

#gokuluck #paralive #paradox live #shion kaida #ryoga tosa #kenta mikoshiba #one of these days i'm gonna do a thing on the design elements in shion's designs that are supposed to show his isolation from humanity #rest assured i am thinking about all of them a lot

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sleepingdeath-light · 1 year

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being best friends hcs ; barnaby

requested by ; 🐝🍯 anon (09/05/23) [1/3]

fandom(s) ; welcome home

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; barnaby b. beagle

outline ; “My welcome home obsession is creeping in too 😂 can I have some best friend headcanons of Barbaby, Wally, and Frank? They’re my blorbos. ❤️ if you can’t do all three I’d like just Barnaby! He’s so SILLY!! And I wanna be his best friend ✨

Also I claim bee anon!! 🐝🍯”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

being this guy’s best friend is asking for trouble in the most amazing way possible

he’s a jokester at heart and he’s always got a new trick up his sleeve whether it’s an adapted magic trick, a joke he’s brainstormed or a whole comedy routine he adapted on the fly

the key with him is to always expect the unexpected

prank calls are common and endearing — everything from ‘is your fridge running’ to using fake names to make you compliment yourself

he has a seemingly endless supply of whoopee cushions and other such joke items (like boxes filled with fake snakes and the like)

he has a unicycle; he cannot ride it for very long but he has one!

he can also juggle and he uses this ability for evil

like yes he’ll juggle pins and balls and such, but barnaby is also of significant stature and strength compared to basically everyone else

and what i’m trying to say is that he has at several points started juggling you and your neighbours

you, wally and julie are his preferred victims because none of you will get revenge on him

on a related note, he picks you up and tosses you around often — like if he wants your attention he’ll just pick you up and walk away with you hanging limply over his shoulder

this also includes him picking you up and letting you dangle whilst he hugs you

speaking of… he gives incredible hugs because he’s so large and soft — combined with his high body temperature basically makes him a living, all body hot water bottle combined with a pillow, so cuddles are absolutely top tier

he never uses your name and prefers to address you by a series of increasingly ridiculous nicknames that barely make sense

more often than not this means addressing you with random nouns — anything from ‘sofa bed’ to ‘new colour tv’ or something more normal-adjacent like ‘pebble’ or ‘mouse’

if he ever gets a bit much, just scratch behind his ears and he’ll mellow out significantly and just nod off next to you

he gets you both matching outfits — they’re all terribly goofy with mismatched patterns and colours, but it’s the thought that counts!

he has your handprint on his mailbox and you have his paw print on yours — it only makes sense since most of the mail you get comes from you both

piggyback rides are definitely common, but he also likes to take the mick by running like a madman when you’re up there, so I hope you’ve got a good grip

(you know he’d never really let you fall but the fear is still there)

he definitely makes fun of you lightheartedly because he’s so much taller than you (being 8ft tall and all) — he’ll deliberately put things higher than you can reach to make sure you have to ask for help (which leads to even more jokes)

will not tolerate any negative talk about you, especially by yourself, and will lightly scold you with a huff and a ‘that’s my best friend you’re talking about, you know’

if you’re ticklish he’ll take full advantage of this with random tickle attacks

(though you can easily turn the tables by jabbing him in the ribs)

terrible with dates but he has an excellent memory for the things you love and have expressed a desire to own — which makes gift buying easy but gift giving pretty difficult to arrange

all in all he prefers to keep things lighthearted and does what he can to keep you smiling and laughing — as he does for everyone in his life because that’s just the type of guy he is

#sleepingdeath #gender neutral reader #welcome home x reader #welcome home fluff #fluff #fluff hcs #platonic x reader #barnaby b beagle x reader #barnaby b beagle fluff #🐝🍯 anon

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knifedog-machina · 2 months

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What’s In A Name?

Musings on our names and our relationships with them, particularly around transitioning, OC fictive experiences, established character fictive experiences, and our reluctance to create a system name.

Max

So I'm transgender, and I decided to change my name, as is a common choice among trans folks! I went through several different names before settling on the ones I have for myself now - Kitson, Gray, Finch, for a few examples. I was nonbinary in my teenage years, genderfluid before my gender settled into masculinity as its new home, and I wanted a name that was kinda difficult to nail down as masculine or feminine. I played around with it for a long time, I got silly with it!

My online name is Max now, derived only a little bit from misspelling mackerelgray as maxkerelgray one time! I think it’s a name that ages well, and I really like the potential longform nicknames for it - because I like saying it's short for Maximilian, but it can also be Maximus, Maxime, Maxwell, Maxfield, Maximum, Maxilla, etc. It’s fun! The possibilities are endless!

And on February 29 (wow! a Leap Year!) I got a new addition to it! I was attending the 2024 Centaurus Festival, a three-day online convention centered around mythic and folkloric alterhumans, and it was an absolute blast, especially because of the name thing!

I was jokingly lamenting that I’d chosen a really boring name to represent myself, when surrounded by the likes of Page or Cynder or Daski, because it does look like I just chose one of the Top Ten Dog Names despite not being a dog. Everyone around me got a whiff of self-deprecation and immediately went about tearing it down, joking about how they came up with their own handles and complimenting mine, and it was honestly really nice? Like I’m not the only one who made up my name in a silly way, or feels like their name is a little underwhelming, and it felt really nice to break up the impression of Big Intimidating Community Names™ with the understanding that we’re all just weird and vibing together!

And Benry said, hey, if it were actually a top ten dog name you’d be a Fido or a Biscuit, and I said, hey, I like biscuits! I’d be a great Biscuit! And in ten minutes I’m being dubbed Max Biscuit in the general chat and giving people virtual baked goods, and honestly, it was so fun and sweet that I’m immortalizing it by putting it on my handle now. Hi fellow alterhumans, I’m Max Biscuit, I was Assigned Baked Goods at the Centaurus Festival and it was absolutely delightful.

Jude

First off, my name is technically short for Judah, and I don’t actually use that name here, for a couple reasons.

Mostly, it’s because Judah is a work name. My handler only used my full name - she wouldn’t shorten it, that’s improper, that’s not my actual designation. It’s a name that I associate with my job, with doing something for people who don’t actually care about me, and it’s not something I use with people I’m trying to get along with. My friends and siblings and partners all call me Jude in friendly contexts, but I’m Judah if it’s for something official, and that’s a signal for me to stop fucking around and do what I need to. I’ll use it as a burner name while talking to strangers, to people I don’t care about. Now that I’m in a system, I only directly talk to people who I care about getting along with, so I just cut out the middleman and introduce myself as Jude.

(There’s also definitely the fact that people see Judah and think I’m a guy, and I hate being misgendered. Jude has a more neutral association that I like better.)

That’s what I have for my first name, but I have more thoughts! About other names I have and their funny little origins, related to being an original character fictive.

See, if you’re talking about my model and serial number, I’m called RK800 476 032 660. In beta testing, before being officially given a name, I used to be called Sixty from the last couple digits. Which is really funny to me, because that’s the usual fandom nickname for the Cyberlife Tower doppelganger in Detroit: Become Human, and that was where Max got the original inspiration for my character! Listen, the moralizing machine characterization compelled them.

Max just ran with the pieces, glued them together, and wrote that guy into weirder and more canon-divergent AUs until they realized they had fully replaced every part of that man’s characterization and I was the result. They just went full Ship Of Theseus with him. So my name got changed because I was a completely different person, and I don’t identify with that name anymore, but I’m pretty fond of it. And I like Sixty in DBH fandom and fics when I see him, he’s kinda fucked up and feral and feels a lot of things and I can relate to that. He’s just a funny little bastard.

And before I walked in, Max wrote a bunch of different alternate universes with me - and honestly I adore it, I love being known and psychoanalyzed by my loved ones because I like to know what they’re thinking about me. Most of those AUs have different settings and premises - like we’re all werewolves, or selkies, or chefs, or in the Star Wars universe or something. And this usually meant that my name is different, because I need a full name, I can’t just be called Jude. So he settled on Judah Nicholas Rooke, Rooke from RK and Nicholas because it has a good ring to it, and I also have it as a legal name in my timeline.

It’s funny to think about my name in terms of the meta of being a fictive of an original character, because on one hand, Max went through various iterations of a character that would eventually become what I’d recognize as me, including name changes, and that’s really interesting! And on the other hand, I definitely remember talking about what to officially last-name ourselves with my brothers when we finally got the time, because I felt kinda weird about identifying myself by a model number, or worse, a serial number that people never remembered. Watsonian versus Doylist commentary on what went into making me a person, I guess! They’re both real enough, one of them just happened in my life and the other happened in Max’s brain.

Gavin

My name is Gavin Zachary Reed, and I still think it’s really funny that I can just announce that without getting doxxed. Like I don’t think anyone should follow my example, but it’s fucking comedy gold that I can do it. I’m not even revealing my identity to anyone who’s familiar with the video game my source was based on, because my source is so canon divergent that the character who shares my name is fully unrecognizable to me.

If you recognize the first and last name there, yep, I’m technically an iteration of Gavin Reed from Detroit: Become Human. Unfortunately, I’m nothing like him - I look nothing like his character model, his voice is different, his only personality trait is being a dick, and he’s not even 5’2” - and I hate his stupid fucking ass, including the video game he’s from and most things related to its fandom that we’ve interacted with. This kinda sucks, because I’m not going to change my name again just because it’s associated with a character and game and fandom I dislike. I like my name, thanks.

Here’s a brief rundown on how I got my name. Gavin - I’m trans, I chose this name myself. My middle name, Zachary, I also came up with that, because it worked way better with Gavin than my old middle name, and I go by Zach in spaces where I don’t want to use my first name. And Reed is my aunts’ last name, because I moved in with them as a teenager, and I did not want anybody knowing I had ties to my famous older brother or dragging me back to my shit parents. I legally changed it all at once. My aunts were my guardians until I got my own place, and really, they’re way more like parents to me than the people who fucked over my childhood.

So I’m really attached to my name. It carries a lot of meaning for me. I’m annoyed that it’s connected to a character I hate, but I can’t exactly control that, so there’s not really a point in getting tetchy about it. I’ll readily bitch about it in private, but I genuinely like who I am and I’m not about to abandon that by letting a game dictate what I call myself.

System Names

We still don’t have a system name and don’t really care to officially make one, for a couple reasons.

First, there’s only three people here, and we have our individual names already. Addressing us by a collective system name feels like it means losing some of that individuality, because people use the system name because they don’t want to assume who’s fronting or anything, and while that’s understandable, it’s not something any of us really likes. Like, we’re very much separate people! If you wanna talk to one of us, just say it, we’ll probably show up!

On the other hand, I do understand wanting an identifier - like, there’s loads of Maxes and Judes and Gavins out there, we have really common names, there’s gotta be something to distinguish us from another group, right? Like a last name.

Honestly, looking at it like a last name makes it feel better. If you’ve read through the rest of this, you can tell we’re already experts at getting new last names, and this is just another one! So on that note, we’re not gonna call ourselves anything like The X System, but if you have to tag us as a collective, just use Machina as a funny end tag, like how people talk about Sans Undertale.

(Max Machina is a misnomer, since he’s not from Machina, but he came up with the title so he counts. And it’s really fucking funny.)

#personal essay #alterhuman #plurality #fictive #max talks #jude talks #gavin talks

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hxney-lemcn · 1 year

Text

The Guardian Angel — John Ward x angel! reader

summery: As a guardian angel, your top priority is to protect John Ward.

tw: Violence, Everything that happens in the depiction of the first time he exorcises Amy happens in this story :) So spoilers for chapter 3 lol.

a/n: Can you tell I just watched Girl From Nowhere with how I ended up writing Amy's character? I know people are going to want more, but I feel like it'll just end up like my demon! reader fic so...if I do do a part 2 it might veer away from how the game goes.

wc: 1.1k

Master List

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

A heavy weight filled my heart as John and Father Allred drove towards their next mission. The exorcism of a teen girl named Amy.

Who was I? Not anyone important. I was a servant of God, sent to watch over one of his devout followers. A person whose role in life will be important, but also dangerous. That person was a priest named John Ward.

John was a seemingly normal man. A catholic priest who was kind and truly faithful. A more rare occurrence than you may think. I’ve heard rumors of what was to come. How John’s faith will certainly be tested, and with this being his first exorcism, I’m going to have my worries. Of course I trust God, and what he has planned for us all, but getting to know John, it hurts to know that bad things are looming just around the corner.

This was a common problem I had. A guardian angel needs tough skin, since they are the closest to dealing with people. They need to protect their person, but not become attached. I couldn’t help but laugh at that as I seemed to have grown attached to each person I was tasked to look over. It always ended up in heartbreak, as since they were human, they would die eventually, but sometimes I’d see them in heaven, so it wasn’t all bad.

I landed behind the two priests as they got out of the car. I stretched out my wings before closing them. I followed them as they entered the house. A foreboding feeling washed over me as I could sense a strong entity lay within. I followed them as they entered the basement, the dreadful feeling growing inside me. I frowned as the young girl was tied to the chair.

“Hello, Amy?” Father Allred called out. “Respice ad me, daemonium.”

Amy looked up at that, “Hello, priest.” She started laughing as her gaze fell onto me. Which caused Father Allred to hold his crucifix up to her. It was always uncomfortable to be in the presence of a demon. I stood to the side, my duty only to protect John, not exorcize demons.

“Don’t just stand there, Father Ward,” Father Allred exclaimed. “Get the book and recite the prayer of exorcism!”

John nodded, quickly opening the bible and reciting the prayer. The demon was certainly taking damage, but her eyes never wavered from my figure. I stared back, hoping it understood what the consequences would be for even being on Earth. Although I’m sure it did, and I’m sure it didn’t care. Which is what made those creatures so deadly to deal with in the first place.

Suddenly, Amy’s parents entered and I felt tense. This would be the perfect opportunity for the demon to create a distraction.

“Mother! Mother,” The demon cried out in Amy’s voice.

“Get them out of here,” Father Allred commanded. “It will use the girl to afflict them!”

The demon started laughing as John led the parents away. It’s smile twisting as it noticed my dilemma. Do my job as a guardian angel and follow the person I’m meant to protect, leaving Father Allred alone, or stay and take a risk of my position. I looked down, quickly following after John. I clenched my fists, hoping God heard my prayers and understands my current situation.

“It’s best that you stay here,” I heard John say as I entered the kitchen shortly after them.

“That thing down there…” The father trailed off. “That’s not my daughter.”

“...I don’t know what to tell you,” John replied, looking solemn. “I need to go and assist Father Allred. Stay here and pray for Amy.”

Once again, I followed John back down into the basement. I mentally prepared for the worst, the quiet of the basement unsettling. My heart dropped as my suspicions were confirmed. Father Allred laid arms out, representing an upside down cross from our perspective. Writing in blood on the floor read, ‘Take it, save her’. Father Allred’s crucifix lay a little below him.

I kept my eye out as John took the situation in. My heart clenched as a frightened expression rested on his face. I wish I could reveal myself, give him some sort of comfort, but that’s against the rules. I watched solemnly as John picked up the cross, holding it tightly.

“Don’t worry, Amy,” John spoke out. “I’m coming.”

I kept close to John as he went back upstairs. The house was eerily quiet.

“Mr. and Mrs. Martin?” John asked. We continued to explore the house, finding Mr. Martin's glasses in front of their bedroom mirror. I watched cautiously as the reflection was not his own, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Hello?” John called out. Going upstairs, I felt an ominous energy coming from the attic. I licked my lips nervously. John went to enter, but I held him back. Stopping in his tracks, he looked around in confusion.

“Leave,” I whispered out. To John, it would sound like the wind whispering to him, but at this point I was desperate to stop him from continuing. Looking up the stairs, John’s face hardened into a look of determination and continued forward. I felt my heart skip a beat as I followed.

Amy stood in the center of the room.

“You’re here at last, priest,” She said.

“Amy, let’s go back to the basement,” John tried to reason.

“Non possum ire,” She responded.

“Let’s go,” John continued. “You need to get better.”

“What about Merideth?” Amy asked. “Did she get better? You couldn’t save her, could you?”

“That’s enough…” John responded, her taunts seeming to get to him.

“She’s here with me, you know,” Amy continued.

“We’re doing this, here and now,” John said sternly.

“Oh?” She asked. “All by yourself? Go ahead, point your little stick at me.”

“Father Allred?” John called out, my heart breaking at the fact that he was alone…but I was here, and I won’t let that damn demon hurt him any more than it already has. “Mister Martin?”

“Nobody’s coming, priest,” Amy cackled. “And your feathered friend can only help so much.”

I bristled as she mentioned me. I knew exactly what she was trying to do, but I won’t let her win. I didn’t miss the look of confusion that flashed across John’s face at her last statement, but he raised his cross without hesitation. Amy rushed at John, and I quickly put myself in front of John, taking the attack.

I didn’t notice that I was now revealed as the demon put their hands around my throat. I fought back, trying to loosen its grip. John continued to hold his crucifix up, hurting the demon enough to make her stutter. I took that chance to flip us over.

I looked up at John, “Run!”

He hesitated, before stepping backwards and running out. Amy just laughed loudly, becoming limp under me. The sound of sirens rang outside, and I knew that this wasn’t going to end well for John.

#faith #john ward x reader #faith the unholy trinity x reader #faith the unholy trinity #john ward #x reader #faith game

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darklydeliciousdesires · 1 year

Text

The Dream - Chapter Sixteen.

Big thanks to everyone for your engagement on this, still! :)

Previous chapters - Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen

Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)

Words - 2,790

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“Dare I even believe my eyes and ears?” Keri put to David, being handed rinsed plates and cutlery she loaded into the dishwasher.

Shaking the excess water from a large dish, his mouth upturned. “I say it’s safe to call it. I think mommy likes him.” Placing the dish into her outstretched hands, he chuckled. “I mean, god, I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone else as obsessive over Breaking Bad as your mom is, but apparently it’s very much a common ground.”

As soon as Angell had mentioned it over dinner, Meryl’s eyes had lit up, the two of them mostly dominating the conversation, discussing the layers of the plot, the characters, how they both considered the only redeemable characters to be either Mike or Jessie, and Angel’s theory that Walt began mimicking certain traits of the characters he killed, thus showing him as a true sociopath.

What he didn’t reveal was that until someone had called him one, he’d had no idea what a sociopath was, checking with Google, finding that the pissed off woman he’d been having sex with very briefly was incorrect in her assertion. The term fitted Walter White wonderfully, though, he’d thought.

Meryl had listened to him with fascination, suddenly experiencing a pang of guilt that she’d assumed him to be a dead beat who hauled scrap metal around, day in, day out. She knew she could sometimes be a little judgemental, and very overprotective when it came to her only child, so thus worked hard in making an effort, even though she found that through Angel’s charming nature and ability to engage well with conversation, she truly didn’t have to.

Her mind wasn’t one hundred percent made up, but so far, she found him to be quite likable. As for David...

“Well, little. I gotta say, I think he’s great. I like him, he's a straight up guy and seems really genuine, too. And let me tell you, you’re the apple of his goddamned eye.”

She bit her lip, looking away. “Hmm.”

“Hmm? Psht. Hmm, nothing. You’re onto something good, mark my words.” For once, she actually dared believe that she was. There he was, prepared to do the whole meet the parent's thing on only the second occasion he’d actually spent physical time with her, flying over seven hundred miles to do that, and fine with being ordered to the spare room. And he’d witnessed her various states of calamity.

Yes. Things were looking promising, she had to admit.

“So, I think you have the parent's approval, I haven't heard my mom laugh like that in years! She’s fun once the icy exterior thaws a little,” Keri told him much later in the night before they went to sleep, hugging him in the doorway to the spare room.

“Yeah, I think she’s great. Kinda freaks me out a little that she's only eight years older than me! And David is fuckin’ awesome, really good guy. He’s just like how I pictured him to be from what you told me.”

His words made her beam brightly, reaching to kiss him. “Well, until the morning, you gorgeous man.”

“Goodnight, tiny. Try not to miss me too much.”

She kissed him again, stroking his chest through his shirt. “I’ll try, but if I do, I can’t say that my hands might not wander while I imagine you there.” Licking her top lip, she winked, turning to enter her room, leaving Angel both frustrated and...

“Get the fuck back down,” he spoke, looking to where his cock was beginning to swell in his jeans, closing the door. “We ain’t getting shit tonight.”

The following morning, Keri was up before him, heading downstairs to find David pulling on his jacket.

“I'm just going out to pick up a paper and get some gas, do you want anything from the store?”

Stretching, she shook her head while yawning. “No thanks, I'll have a read of your paper when you're done with it, though.”

“Okay I'll be back in about twenty minutes.” Opening the front door, she noticed that her mother’s car was absent, wondering why, at 9am on a Saturday, her mom wasn’t still in bed. Meryl loved a weekly lie in. David noticed her inquiring expression. “Ruth called her into work. Apparently, Agnes got her days off mixed up, so she’s had to go and cover for her.”

“Wow,” she began, her eyes rounding. “I bet she was pleased.”

He laughed softly through his nose, remembering her fury, until Ruth had revealed the sweetener. “Actually, she was. She’s getting paid double time. Anyway, I’ll see you shortly.”

Twenty minutes of a house to herself. Hearing the shower being turned on upstairs, armed with the knowledge that there were no parents currently under the same roof to catch her doing it, she decided that it was the perfect time to get her own back on the man currently standing under the jet of hot water.

Since the lock was broken on the bathroom door, she tapped it softly and called out 'only me' from the other side after removing her pyjamas, casting them to the floor as soon as she entered the white brick bathroom. Angel turned around in the shower cubicle, his eyes virtually popping right out of his head at the sight of a naked Keri walking towards him.

She could barely conceal the satisfaction at such a reaction, Angel gaping as she stepped in with him. “Move over buddy, there's room for a small person too.” He was rendered mute. “Oh, and good morning.” Fluttering her eyelashes, she stood there beneath the water, her bare skin not quite making contact with his, the large corner shower spacious enough for them both to stand comfortably in there. “Can you speak at all?”

Seeing her naked in the flesh for the first time had truly caught him off guard, the last thing he expected to be seeing that morning, but fuck, he was appreciative. Her body was incredible. Even more so than their dreams had alluded to.

Finally, after watching the water running down over her breasts, he found his voice. “Not that having a beautiful, naked woman in the shower with me is something I’d ever turn down, but if your mom or David come in now, we're dead.”

“Mom got called into work, and David went out to the store. He’ll be gone for twenty minutes. Besides, I’m doing nothing naughty. Merely taking a shower,” she stated sweetly, reaching around him to take her shampoo from the shelf.

Damn her. “So, you're gonna stand there in front of me and expect me to keep my hands to myself, huh?' he said, his eyes travelling across her body, feeling a certain part of his begin to react to the sight he was presented with.

Rinsing the suds from her hair, she once again reached past him, grabbing her conditioner and applying, placing the bottle back, her lips meeting his chest. “Yes, I do expect that. Maybe, though, I don’t have to.”

She finally let her gaze fall, looking down, her smile broadening when she saw his cock standing erect, biting her lower lip as she grasped it with a gentle squeeze. “God, that’s so thick. See when we dreamed, it was always a little hazy, the exact size of your cock. I could never truly gauge what I was working with, but now, wow. The reality is a very nice, big surprise, I have to say.”

Her hand, a little slippery from the conditioner she’d just applied to her hair, ran up his shaft, her thumb stroking swirls over the very tip, pushing him back against the glass cubicle. He reached for her, Keri stepping back a little, her eyes warning him. Knocking his hand away, she closed the gap once more, her lips soft as his neck, a faint whine of a moan fluttering from her mouth. “Does that feel good?”

Her whisper had him shuddering more than the deft ministration of her hand, slowly pumping at his shaft, kissing the column of his throat once more, a deep rumble vibrating against her lips, her tongue swiping where his beard met his neck, that black grit coarse against the soft lick. “Yeah, feels really good.”

He twitched within the warm, slippery clutch of her grasp, his groans thickening as rapidly as his cock, her own furnace beginning to burn brightly. “You want me badly, don’t you? I bet you’d love nothing more than to bend me over right here, and bury this beautiful, big cock right up inside of me, wouldn’t you?”

“Mm.” That soft grunt was all he could manage, their mouths meeting in a kiss of fiery honey, sweet heat burning between them as she quickened her hand, her other bracketing his throat and pushing him back when he tried to assert himself over her. It was an action he hadn’t expected from one quite so diminutive, her strength taking him by surprise.

“Oh no, Angel Reyes. There’ll be none of that.” Her purr set the hairs at the back of his neck to stand on end, his chest beginning to rise and fall quicker, wanting nothing more than to grasp her waist, lift her up and drop her straight down onto his aching cock. “In fact, there’ll be no more of anything. I think I’m done here.”

Releasing him, her mouth tilted into a smirk as she rinsed her hair, soaping herself down quickly before puckering her lips and leaving him there smouldering. His eyes narrowed at her as she swathed herself in towels, chuckling with amusement at his anguish. “I hope you enjoyed your preview.”

“You’re gonna pay for that, mamas.”

She pouted, licking her top lip. “To use your words, bring it.” Leaving the bathroom, the atmosphere definitely steamier than when she’d arrived, Keri went back to her bedroom, her eyes glancing in the direction of her nightstand drawer. God, she’d kill to take the edge off with her vibrator, but time wasn’t really on her side.

After applying a liberal smothering of lotion to her skin, she dressed in her black skinny jeans and her lovely, soft, pale grey sweater that perpetually hung off one shoulder, revealing the dark leopard print undies she had on beneath. Finger combing her hair with some styling cream, she gave it a blast with her hairdryer, her tresses falling into their natural waves, Keri pinning it back to apply a little makeup, laughing as she heard Angel mutter about her being a demoness as he exited the bathroom and walked past her door.

She was affixing her small, diamante stud earrings in when he arrived in her room, folding his arms, still glaring. “I hate you.”

Chuckling, she stood up, moving to kiss him. “Next time I have my hand around it, believe me, I won’t stop.”

“Yeah, I’d appreciate that, rather than having to finish solo.” Just the thought of him relieving himself of what she’d stirred sent a pleasant quiver through her, kissing him hotly before they went downstairs, finding David in the kitchen, cooking up one of his mammoth sized breakfasts. Once they’d eaten, David heading over to their neighbour Steve’s place to continue helping him work on his classic truck rebuild project, Keri sat at the island reading the paper while Angel stood at the window, looking out into the garden as he drank his coffee.

Five minutes passed before he got his true first taste of the local wildlife.

“Holy fuck! There’s a huge assed bear in your garden, come check it out!”

“Colour?” she asked, not looking up from the paper.

“Black.”

She looked up, her face curious with anticipation. “Brown snout, and a chunk taken out of his left ear?”

“Yeah, it has actually,” he replied, puzzled at the specificness of her question for a few moments.

Her face lit up, flying from her seat at speed. “He’s back!” She ran at the refrigerator, pulling out a plate of meat cuts, taking it to the back door. “And where have you been?” she demanded, turning back to Angel and signalling with her hand that he should stay where he was.

“Keri, what the fuck are you doing? That's about four hundred pounds of wild bear coming towards you,” he hissed, his eyes wide.

“Relax, he’s my bear,” she began, the huge beast approaching, making noises of greeting in his throat. “My mom found him abandoned on the side of the highway after his mother had been hit by a truck. He was only a few days old, so she brought him back here to raise him herself. My granddad used to do wildlife rehabbing, so she knew what to do.

“He lived in the house with us until he got too big and was able to go back to the wild, but he comes to visit once a week or so. He thinks we’re his family, and we are, I guess, especially since he used to sleep in mom’s bed with her when he was tiny, before she made his own space for him when he got too rambunctious. He only came out of hibernation last week, though, so I haven’t seen him for months.”

Angel couldn’t help but feel his panic rise as the bear ambled closer, taking in the sheer size of the beast, but his anxious heart melted instantly when he saw it reach Keri, who put the plate down and crouched to fling her arms around his neck, the bear pushing his face against hers. “Hey boy, hey! I missed you so much! I wasn’t home when you came by last week, no, I was out taking lots of pictures of things not nearly as beautiful as you, yes I was!”

He was speechless at the sight, watching the bear put his head down and begin eating the meat from the plate, Keri continuing her talk. “We shouldn’t really feed him as it encourages them scavenging, but he’s never raided the trash, same with the neighbours either. He’s a good boy, he has his manners. He used to come back quite a lot, but it’s less regular now he’s older.”

“How old is he?” Angel asked, viewing the bear with fascination.

“He’s fourteen, and his name is Rufus! I named him after a bear in a book I read as a child.”

He laughed, thinking it a very cute and non-threatening name for a creature who could disembowel a person with one swipe of his claws.

“Don’t look so worried! I used to ride him around the lounge when I was nine! He’s lovely, but not good with new people, so you’ll have to stay there or he might become agitated,” she advised, her nails scratching his thick fur, Rufus fluttering his ears as he licked the plate clean of the blood trails. “Your breath stinks, boy. Yes, it does. I love you, though.” she continued, Rufus sniffing her face and giving her nose a lick before he turned and ambled away.

“Well I gotta say it, you've got probably the most unusual pet in the world, even if he is a wild animal, and he seems to think the world of you,” he told her, stepping outside and lighting up a cigarette.

Her cheeks dimpled from her sweet grin. “Most gorgeous, big animals do.”

Once he’d finished his cigarette, they headed out, Keri able to take him where she’d wanted to the previous weekend, up to the dinosaur museum, stopping for dinner on the way home at a steakhouse David had recommended, and then going for drinks with Ash and Rachel on the evening.

His time with Keri was over way too soon for Angel’s liking, hating to leave her at the airport when Sunday morning rolled around, especially since he wouldn't get to see her for two weeks, with club business penned in the following weekend, making plans for her to go to him next time. She was able to fly down on the Thursday afternoon and stay until Monday morning, figuring she could head straight to college from the airport for her afternoon lectures.

As soon as he walked back into his house, he couldn’t wait until she’d be there in it, too. After unpacking his bag, though, he saw a tiny part of her already was. His hand hit something fuzzy as he pulled his tangle of clothes out, peering down and removing what turned out to be a small triceratops beanie baby she’d obviously bought secretly at the museum giftshop and snuck in there when he hadn’t been looking.

“Keri Jane,” he hummed, looking at the little plush toy with a smile. “Too fucking cute by far.”

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes smut #angel reyes x ofc #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc smut #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic

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