#but right now I don’t want it. it’s infuriating to me tbh.

[likelyslumbering]

.

#I think. I may be experiencing burnout. and this is not a good fucking time. #either that or a really weird / atypical depressive episode. but I’m really just… #I love my studies I love getting to research something I’m growing to love (clouds!) #but right now I don’t want it. it’s infuriating to me tbh. #I’m so tired. maybe it’s the weather. please please please give me sunlight. #personal

[asapeveryday]

SHOCK FACTOR★彡 PART 3

Previous. Next.

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Rival!Reader

Warnings: swearing, suggestive jokes/language, tension

Summary: having Paige’s number means she can bother you whenever she wants, but maybe a night out with her isn’t a bother at all.

A/n: enjoy guys 😇lmk what you think of this one

YOU

is this paige?

???

Has anyone else given you their number since you got here?

YOU

no…

PAIGE

Aight, so who else would it be then? 🤘🏼

YOU

i should’ve thrown out that napkin tbh!🙂

PAIGE

Ignoring that. How’s the hangover?

YOU

it’s ok. getting coffee helped ig

PAIGE

Having another night out might help too…if u fw that

YOU

with you? id rather die then “fw that” 🙏

PAIGE

Ok rot in ya hotel room see if I care 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seen.

PAIGE

Actually nvm I feel bad for ur miserable ass. U shud fr go out and see what Connecticut has to offer. Ever been to Gianni’s?

YOU

no i haven’t, I’ve only been here for like two days. is it italian food?

PAIGE

Only the best in town 😉 u shud def go

YOU

ugh I would but i have to see if elaine can take me cus my teammates are busy

PAIGE

I could take u if u want?

YOU

typing…

YOU CAN FEEL yourself getting socially drained as you text her, at least that’s what you tell yourself. Paige is infuriating and arrogant, which comes with the deadly additions of charisma and the ability to keep you on edge with every word spoken, or even typed.

You’d always known of this, even before your game with her that day. A player like Paige can be hard to come across; perfectly capable, talented and independent yet somehow the best team player out there, sharing passes she can without a doubt make. Why? Because she doesn’t need to prove anything.

It often bothered you, especially since you constantly needed to prove yourself during the start of your college career. You took every shot you could get your hands on, and she gave shots away like candy whilst still having a huge reputation as a player. Obviously it went deeper than that, but the simple fact just stuck to your brain.

You can’t help but recall her face, inches from yours attempting to pry your ball from your grasp. Like she was deserving, like it was hers for the taking. She had made a similar face on the panel where she dissed you soon afterwards, and then again while watching you at the bar, and just before writing her number on the napkin. You wondered if she was making that face right now as she texts you.

PAIGE

I could take u if u want?

The text is simple but it summons some sort of unique feeling in you. Paige Bueckers is offering to pick you up in her car, on her night off, and take you to a restaurant. And you, for whatever reason, are considering saying yes.

Sighing to yourself, you weigh your options. Option one: you sit around your hotel alone till your teammates come back, most probably drunk from a bar since it’s a Saturday. Option two: you ask Elaine to take you out once again, even though you’re probably gonna see her the whole week you’re here. Option three: you let the girl who shit-talked you at a post game conference take you out for dinner.

YOU

i guess i should go out. DONT act like ur doing me a favour tho….n if I don’t have fun i’m blocking u.

PAIGE

Drop the addy. I’ll come by in an hour

Seen.

After hurriedly pulling yourself together, taking an Advil, checking out the restaurant’s Instagram and getting ready you can’t help but find your heart steadily hammering inside of you. Paige is coming to your hotel. You’re gonna be in her car. She’s taking you to her favourite restaurant. This has to be the most peculiar thing that has happened all year.

-

The car ride is significantly better then you expected it would be. Paige adamantly seems to prevent any room for awkward silence to seep through, commenting on your outfit and filling the vehicle with music that makes the interior buzz from the volume. She has a free look on her face, chair reclined more then you’d dare if you were in the drivers seat, hair blowing in her face from the windows being down.

“I’m surprised you’re driving me out.” You say, finally airing what was on your mind.

Paige shrugs. “Didn’t feel like drinking today. Plus, I’m in the mood to be generous and show you what Storrs has.”

“If someone told me I’d be hanging out with Paige Bueckers like a week ago, I think I’d be fucking appalled. Or disgusted. Or both.” You laugh.

She chuckles, glancing at you sneakily. “You swear a lot, don’t you?”

“Awe my bad.” You pout, giving her a fake-concerned look. “Forgot you can’t handle a little language.”

“I can handle it,” she grumbles. “I just think cursing is better for specific situations.”

“Like what?”

Paige wets her lips almost sheepishly, but she keeps her eyes straight on the road. “Like sex.”

A beat passes before you respond “Sorry I couldn’t savour a couple words for you and your little kink.”

She looks over at you now, and you meet her gaze as equally as you can. She just lets out a smile, shaking her head to herself as she pulls into the parking lot. You try to ignore the elevator-sinking feeling in your stomach from her words as you get out from the car.

The restaurant is beautiful. It’s cozy, ambient and well decorated. Not too fancy and not too full, just perfect. You’re seated in a more secluded area, per Paige’s request. She orders for you, insisting she knows exactly what to get for the best possible experience.

The food is good, and you don’t feel the need to hide it from Paige, who visibly grows at your praise for the place she picked out.

“So, are you jus in Connecticut for Elaine?” She says.

“Not really.” You reply. “Me and some of the others are just doing a little East Coast road-trip. I wasn’t really interested in coming to Storrs, but it made sense to come by and see her.”

“For a whole week?” She raises her eyebrow. “Seems like you’re close.”

“I was only gonna stay in Storrs for a couple days, then go to Hartford but the girls seem to like it here.” You shrug. “They think it’s cute, being a small town and all, but it’s pretty boring if you’re not a student.”

“It’s better if you’re with fun people.” She smiles.

“I hope you don’t think you’re fun.”

“Compared to Elaine I definitely am.” Paige scoffs.

You can’t help but feel a little more hostility than humour in her tone.

“Do you guys know each other?” You ask, as sly and innocent as you can muster. Paige seems hesitant.

“Nah.” She finally decides. “I mean, we’ve talked before. Ion know her personally.”

“It’s kinda funny, she said she doesn’t pay much attention to you but I think she might have a little crush.” You laugh.

Paige visibly stiffens at this, which catches you by surprise.

In a split second she regains her calm, unbothered composure. “What has she said?”

“Not much.” You shrug. “Just seems a little interested.”

Paige’s jaw clenches for a moment, and you’re not surprised when she changes the subject. “How many people have been on your case since I posted that picture of us from the bar on my story?”

“God, so many.” You laugh, shaking your head. “You?”

“You don’t even wanna know.” She scoffs. “Not sure why everyone was so crazy bout it though, s’not like we were beefing for real.”

“Right!” You say, happy she seems to be on the same page. “It was just some petty crap. I guess people just really were hoping there would be some rivalry.”

You think for a moment, before saying. “Maybe we should keep this drama thing up. Might be fun.”

“It’s a lil too late for that,” Paige shakes her head with a slight smile. “remember how KK and Ice were on live yesterday at the coffee shop? Yeah, we kinda were in the background at some point. People saw us talking.”

“You’re joking.”

“Dead serious. There are edits and everything.”

You rest your head in your hands, elbows on the table, lessening the proximity between you and her. “I only get into these weird ass situations when I interact with you, Paige.”

She sits up in her seat, blue eyes quickly looking you up and down. “Yet you’re still here.”

“Girl’s gotta have fun.” You shrug. Her foot hits yours under the table, her eyebrow raised as if challenging you. You have a sudden thought of going under the table and letting your hands unzip her cargo pants, but instead you just kick her back.

“Wanna go?” She asks. You don’t want to go back to the hotel, and she seems to pick up on it. “The area we’re in is nice. We can walk around a bit.”

You smile and nod. “Split the bill?”

“Fuck no.” She shoots you a look, pulling out her credit card from the back of her phone.

“You cursed!” You exclaim, to which she scoffs.

“I said it’s alright in specific situations.”

Now it’s your turn to scoff. “Well we’re not having sex, are we?”

The way her eyelashes flutter at your question gives you jitters. “Aight, stop talking.” She finally manages to respond. You just send her a look that you hope makes her nervous.

-

“You’re not funny.” She grumbles, attempting to grab your phone from you.

“Back off, Bueckers! I’m serious.” You laugh, sidestepping her with your phone above your head. The street was empty and the lights were on, putting the two of you in a yellow glow against the night. You’d been walking around the neighbourhood, observing houses and learning a bit about Storrs for the past hour.

“Give me your phone, I know you ain’t deleting those.” She huffs, grabbing for your phone. You try to escape her grasp but she’s got longer limbs, so eventually your phone is in her pocket and she’s wearing a proud look on her face.

It’s nice to walk in the quiet of evening, her beside you. You have no idea where you are but you can’t help but trust she can get you back to the car in no time. Not just yet though.

You turn to look at Paige almost shamelessly. There’s just so much to observe with her. Her confident posture, toothy smile, sleek straightened blonde hair, even the baggy cargo pants and sweater. She always looked good, it never failed to annoy you.

“Either your pants are too tight or crazy baggy.” You note. She just raises her eyebrow.

“Sounds like you just want me to take my pants off at this point.”

“Wouldn’t mind a little show.” You reply almost instantly, shocking yourself at the surge of confidence. She doesn’t seem taken aback, in fact she’s intrigued.

“Is that your usual routine? Have a meal out then have a meal at home?”

“Maybe it is.” You shrug. “I never object to a wine n dine.”

“And what exactly would you object to?”

“Cocky girls who think they’re the shit.” You say, turning your head to face her. You don’t mean to target her, but she simply smiles.

“Is it really being cocky if I can back it up though?” Paige asks quietly. You’re not walking anymore, stuck in place on an empty path between buildings. She’s closing in on you until your back hits a brick wall. The way Paige is staring down at you, hands in her pockets, lip between her teeth. It’s nothing you’d object to, ever.

“I won’t believe it till I see it.” You mutter, holding her eye. The air is tense in a new way that you haven’t felt with her since you first met in the bar. Her face is entrancing.

Paige’s hands lift your jaw upwards, and she leans into your ear. “You might not see it,” she mumbles, breath hot against your skin. “But you’ll definitely feel it.”

When she pulls back from your ear she stays hovering just above you, hands chastely holding your head up. You’re in the perfect position to kiss, and you can’t stop your eyes from darting between her electric stare to her lush, pink lips.

You can literally feel her breath on your mouth when a piercing ring cuts through the moment. It’s coming from her pocket, and she pulls out your phone. Paige’s face twists as she reads the screen. “It’s Elaine.”

“Just- just decline it.” You rush out, not caring how desperate you sound. You can feel how wet you are, and the lack of heat against you is blaring.

“She texted you too.” Paige scoffs. “She’s waiting for you at your hotel.”

You don’t even know what to say. Paige’s face is expressionless. You’re disappointed, but there’s no point in begging. Nothing really happened.

“Let’s get you home.” She says, starting to walk back from where you came. “Shouldn’t keep her waiting.” Her tone is dripping with toxicity. It makes you shiver.

#Spotify #fanfiction #fanfic #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #rpf #paige bueckers x reader #paige buckets #paige x reader #x reader #tension #uconn women’s basketball #usc wbb #rivals to lovers

[hope-drunk]

BITE THE HAND

| you misbehave at an important event with abby, she puts you in your place.

| wc: ~3.7k

| cw: vague plot tbh, abby's a premed major, abby smokes cigarettes, punishment, brat!tamer abby, f!reader, spanking, edging, overstimulation, degradation, oral, fingering, strap usage (all r!recieving), mean!abby, praising, mentions of aftercare but not really a full scene of it, abby gets called mommy, lmk if i'm missing something

Abby’s really pissed off; she’s genuinely infuriated. You were embarrassing her; in front of  a lot of people who mattered. Important people, who determined what was going to happen with her future. She brought you to the banquet because she wanted to share this moment with you. She wanted to show you off to her peers and brag that you were supportive, and the best girlfriend that she could ask for, but you weren’t being supportive. 

You sit yourself down to sulk; spinning your straw around in your drink. You let out an agitated sigh. It’s boring here. Not only was it boring, Abby hasn’t paid attention to you the entire night. You thought that she was going to show you off, you even bought a new dress for this! But she didn’t seem to pay you any mind.

She seemed really interested in all the other people here though. From your point of view, Abby has spent the whole night bragging to them about her accomplishments. You’ve seen her arm get rubbed in amazement more times than you can count; it didn’t matter to you that they were just being friendly, that was your arm to rub. That was your girlfriend to praise. Every time you tried to insert yourself into conversation, Abby brushed you off. If she was already treating you like you were embarrassing her; you’d do it for real. 

Abby walks over to the table you’re sitting at. “Hey, can you get up for me? Want you to meet someone.”

You look up at her. “Oh, now you want to show me off?” 

“What are you talking about? Been trying to get you to meet people all night.” She puts a hand on your shoulder and rubs it up and down; a signal for you to stand.

“I don’t want to meet anyone.”

She scoffs; puts her pointer and thumb on the bridge of her nose and squeezes. “Please, baby, I really can’t deal with this right now.”

“Fine,” You say, standing and lacing your arm through her’s.

You walk over to an older man in a tux. Abby smiles politely at him.

“Doctor Smith, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend.” She says.

You shake his hand, trying your hardest to act like you want to be there. 

“So nice to meet you. You know, you have a rather impressive girlfriend. Miss Anderson is one of the best students I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah, she does well to remind me.” You reply. You see Abby give you a look from the corner of your eye. The look isn’t a kind, loving one. The look says be fucking polite.

Luckily for you, the Doctor laughs and pats Abby on the shoulder. “She’s a firecracker, huh!”

“That’s one word for her.” Abby says. Now it’s your turn to shoot her a look, she ignores you, continuing her conversation with the Doctor. 

After they talk about the class that Abby is in, he says goodbye to you both, walking away to mingle.

“Come here,” Abby says. Before you can even ask her where, she’s yanking your arm and dragging you behind her.

You feel like a dog being yanked by the leash, her strong arms left no room to shimmy out of her hold; forced to go where she wanted. She pulls you into a family restroom and locks the door.

“Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you? That was embarrassing!” You practically yell at her, placing your hands on your hips.

“Embarrassing? I’m embarrassing you? You’ve been a brat the whole fucking night, sitting there with a goddamn pout on your face.” Abby says back at the same volume. You’re sure if anyone walked by they could hear you, but neither of you seemed to care.

“I’m not being a brat, you’re not paying attention to me.” 

“That’s because this isn’t about you. I wanted to bring you here so I could show everyone how supportive you are; how much patience and love you show me even though I am so busy with work, but I guess they don’t get to meet that version of you!” Abby yells at you, clearly frustrated with your attitude and accusations.

You’re rendered silent. You guess you don’t know what you thought this was going to be, maybe you had a different idea of the evening than Abby did. You slowly start to realize that you may be in the wrong; that you may have created some narrative in your head that Abby was ignoring you when really, she was trying to include you.

Abby sees you thinking, “What?”

“I’m sorry.”

Abby stands in shock, but she doesn’t let it show. She turns around and rubs a hand over her face. You’ve never apologized so fast. Usually it took a lot of coaxing to make you realize that you’ve done something wrong, but not this time. “Sorry for what?” 

“For– y’know,” you wave your hands around. Saying sorry was one thing, but you know what she really wanted from you; she wanted you to say you were being a brat; that you had been bad and embarrassed her.

“No, I don’t know.”

You whine, “Abby, you do know.”

“Listen, here’s what we’re gonna do; we’re gonna stay for thirty more minutes, and then we’re going to go home, and I’m gonna make you say why you’re sorry, alright?” 

Tears well in your eyes. Abby was relentless when it came to punishments. Even if you told her what she wanted to hear after the first ten minutes, there was no stopping her. It’s like she became a completely different person. With how mad she looked, you knew you were in for it tonight. Suddenly, you want to stay at the banquet, afraid of what will happen when you step foot into your joint bedroom. 

Abby watches as you fiddle with your hands, and despite how angry she was, she takes a deep breath and walks over to you. She lifts up your chin and plants a kiss to your forehead, reminding you that no matter how much you piss her off, she’ll never stop loving you. She walks out of the bathroom, swinging the door open and extending a hand behind her so that you would grab on. You quickly lace your fingers into her’s and let her pull you out of the small room. The rest of the time you’re there, you try your hardest to stay on your best behavior. This time, it’s harder, because you’re studying your every movement to make sure it won’t piss Abby off more; scared of what the girl would do to you if you kept acting up even after the talk. You do well the rest of the night though, and when Abby says her goodbyes, you cling extra hard to her arm; looking for comfort in the girl who’s about to put you in your place.

When you get into Abby’s car, she pulls her box of cigarettes out of her glove box; grabbing one and lighting it. A familiar pop song is playing on the radio, and there’s wind blowing through Abby’s cracked open window. 

She takes a long drag and looks over at you, “You know you can say stop at any time, right?” She exhales the smoke.

“Yeah,” you answer, meekly. 

“I’m serious.”

“I know.”

The rest of the drive is silent. Abby finishes her cigarette and lights another one. You wish she would let you smoke one, but every time you ask, she gives you a lecture about how she wishes she never started and how bad they are for you. Since you were already in for a lecture about another thing; you figure it’s best to not ask her for one. She pulls into her spot at the apartment complex. Abby steps out of the car and comes over to your side, opening the door and offering a hand to help you out. You gladly take it; happy to soak up the last bits of nice Abby before she completely turns on you. She walks behind you as you go up the stairs to your door. She uses her key to unlock it, and you both walk in. Abby throws the keys onto the table that sits by the door.

“You know how I want you.” She says. It feels like her voice has already dropped lower.

You nod your head at her and walk into the bedroom, stripping off your dress and undergarments. You bend over the bed. Your legs kick up a few times, a nervous tick that only comes out in this situation. The waiting was brutal. You knew that Abby was in the kitchen preparing a glass of water and making sure the aloe vera gel was in the fridge so that when the punishment ended she’d be ready for aftercare, but it didn’t stop the anxiety from creeping in.

You hear Abby’s footsteps come closer and you fix your position; knowing it’ll only be worse if she catches you slacking. Abby sighs and rubs a hand up and down your back, it slowly starts to trail down to your ass.

“Do you know why you’re in trouble?”

“Yes,”

“Tell me why I’m punishing you.”

She grabs a handful of your ass and releases a few times; it distracts you for a moment. She pats it lightly to remind you of the question. “Was a brat, embarrassed you in front of your friends and teachers.”

“That’s right. You just can’t help yourself, can you? Always gotta act up when I need you to be good. The night could’ve gone so much different, huh baby?” Abby moves around the bed and squats down so that she’s face to face with you. She pouts when she sees the tears welling in your lower lash line. “Poor girl, now you gotta be put in your place. Can’t have you doing that again, right?”

You sniffle, “No,” 

“No,” she mocks. She takes a deep breath and stands, moving back to where your ass is in the air. “Gonna give you ten, alright?”

“Okay,”

She starts slow, rubbing up and down your ass again. She loves to work you up; loves to get your energy so high that you listen for every shift of her body. It works every time. After a while, you can’t help but become hyper aware of everything that’s happening in the room. Your back arches against your will; Abby’s movements turn you on although that’s not the point of them right now.

She scoffs, and lands the first smack to the right side of your ass. You yelp at the sting. She spanks you twice more on the same cheek before grabbing it harshly. You push your head into the bedsheets, letting your tears make a stain. She moves her hand to the left side, delivering three more hits to even out the punishment. Your tears were falling silently before, but now you can’t help but let out sobs at the pain on your ass. 

Abby pulls you up by the hair, forcing you to stop hiding. “You see what bad girls get? They get a spanked ass and no mercy from their mommy.”

“I’m sorry!” You wail. 

“You’re gonna be.”

She smacks the spot where your ass meets your thigh on both sides. You’ve always hated when she does this; you couldn’t sit comfortably in a chair for a few days when she hits that spot. She delivers two more hits to each cheek and steps back. She lets you cry for a bit and admires her work. She loves how easy it is to break you. She just has to tell you you’re a bad girl a few times and give you a couple of smacks and you’re apologizing; begging to show her how good you could be. That wasn’t enough for Abby though. She wanted you completely at her mercy. She wanted to turn your brain into mush so that you couldn’t even imagine ever being bad again. 

She decides she’s spent enough time looking at your backside and walks back up to you, flipping you over on the bed so that you were looking into her eyes. She doesn’t break eye contact as she shoves a hand down between your bodies, swiping a finger through your folds. You watch her pupils dilate as she realizes how wet you are.

“Seriously, sweetheart?” You don’t say anything in response, you’re not sure if the embarrassment or the fear took over, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to answer her. “You’re disgusting, you know that? Can’t believe you’re getting off on this. ‘Supposed to be a punishment.”

“Sorry,” you mumble. 

If Abby was good at one thing, it was making you embarrassed. You don’t even care though, because her finger is still running up and down your folds, gently touching your clit every once in a while. You try not to jump at the shock of electricity it sends through you when she touches it because you don’t want her to stop. Unfortunately, she catches on and removes her hand.

“Move up.”

You comply and go to the top of the bed. Abby stays close to you as she makes her way up too. It makes you feel so small; it makes you feel hunted. You sit up on your elbows once you’re at the top of the bed. She smooths her hand over your stomach and glaces down, looking at how your hips twitch every time she moves it lower.

“Want me to touch you, baby?”

“Yeah,” you say, basically a whisper.

“Think you deserve to be touched?”

A frown pulls at your lips, “No,”

She mirrors you and puts on a faux frown, “That’s alright, mommy’ll take care of you.”

Before you know it, Abby’s made a home between your legs and her tongue is diving between your folds. She laps at your cunt like it’s her last meal. You gasp at the sudden sensation and buck your hips, trying to grind on her face. Her nose hits your clit and you feel dizzy. The pleasure is too much. The punishment paired with Abby’s degrading words already had you reeling, and now you felt your headspace start to slip. Your ears feel stuffed with cotton as you whine at the strong girl below you. She licks a particularly sensitive spot and your thighs try to squeeze together, but her shoulders stop you. You put a hand on top of her head, trying to slow her down or reposition her, you weren’t sure at this point.

“Close– I’m close, mommy”

She hums into your cunt, but doesn’t give you permission. You whine, trying to remind her of your predicament while also trying to focus on not coming. You feel like you’re about to fall over the edge. The hand on top of her head is now trying to push her away. You didn’t want to come without permission, but you knew you would if she didn’t stop. Suddenly, Abby’s mouth is off of your cunt. You gasp; legs snapping closed at the ache that’s left behind.

You try your hardest not to say anything about the orgasm slipping away; knowing that Abby hates complaining. She had you believing you would be able to come for a split second. It felt like you could have reached out and grabbed it. 

“Bad girls don’t get to come.” Abby pants.

You start crying for what feels like the millionth time that night. Abby pushes your legs back open, inserting two thick digits into your weeping hole. You basically scream at the intrusion; sensitive from the ruined orgasm.

“So fucking easy to get you to be my good girl again, isn’t it? Just needed to be put in your place, didn’t you?” Abby says.

You’re not paying attention; head floating away from the amount of pleasure you’re getting from her fingers thrusting in and out of you. Abby grabs your face with her free hand, forcing you to look at her and focus on what she's saying.

“Dumb girl, get you all full and messy and you can’t even talk.”

The cruel words send a wave of arousal through you, and Abby smirks when she feels it.

You feel the knot tighten again, and your brows furrow; your mouth forms an ‘o’. Abby notices, watches you closely; sees how far she can push you before you break. Your mouth closes and you pull your bottom lip into your mouth, biting hard so that you focus on the pain from that and not your impending orgasm. Right when you feel the wave start to come, Abby pulls her fingers out of you, wiping them on your stomach.

“No!” You shout this time. 

Abby doesn’t even entertain you. She moves off the bed and goes to the closet, getting out the box that holds her black strap. As she puts it on, she watches you on the bed. You’re holding your tits for comfort as your legs shake. You have your eyes closed, and you’re taking big, deep breaths. Abby makes sure the strap is secure and walks back over to the bed. You open your eyes when you feel the bed dip down. You’re met with the thick silicone and you can’t help but gulp. Again, Abby watches your reaction. She’s always been a watcher, it’s what gets her turned on. Seeing the effect she has on you; how her words, her hands, her strap mess with your head in their own way. After you’ve been dating this long, she knows exactly how you’ll react to whatever she draws out, but she loves to watch you every time. 

“Gonna let mommy fuck you, baby? If you’re really good, I’ll let you come, okay?”

Before she’s even finished the sentence fully you blurt out, “Yeah, gonna let you fuck me.”

Abby laughs, “So desperate,”

She lines up the silicone cock with your hole and presses in gently. You’re already pretty stretched out from her fingers, and you’re certainly wet enough, but she still wants to be a bit gentle. She knows that the strap can sting sometimes; she also knows that you’ve learned your lesson by now. Once her hips meet yours, Abby lets out a grunt. Sometimes she feels like she can feel it; can feel how tight you’re squeezing her and how warm & wet you are. She knows the strap isn’t attached to her; knows that she can’t feel it, but that doesn’t stop her from pretending she can.

“Fuck, so tight, bunny.” She grunts out, edging the strap out before pushing it back in again, setting her pace. “Feels good, yeah?”

“Feels so good, mommy. So good.” You moan out.

Abby rearranges your limbs, putting your legs over her shoulders so she can make sure you really feel it all. You shiver at the new position, when Abby slides out and back in, she hits your g-spot perfectly. 

“Oh God,” you say.

Abby loses herself in your cunt. She’s not able to focus on anything other than how wet you are; how the strap thrusts in and out of you. She focuses on how badly she wants to make you come and how the strap has started to rub her clit perfectly. She uses a hand to grab your tit, squeezing it over and over again as she picks up her pace. This is another version of Abby. Long gone is the chivalrous Abby, and even punishment Abby. This Abby wants to make you come over and over again until you’re asking her to stop. She wants to please you until you’re sick of the pleasure. 

“Shh, you’re okay. Gonna make you feel so good now. Mommy’s not mad anymore. Just need you to come for me.” Abby says.

Your legs start to shake harder as your orgasm approaches for the third time that night. You feel it come closer and closer, threatening you. You’re scared to ask; not sure if Abby’s still playing games with you. 

“Really need–”

Abby cuts you off, “Go ahead, been so good for me.”

Her words allow the wave to crash into you. Your whole body shakes as Abby fucks you through your orgasm. Your head spins as you come back down to the room. Abby’s hips haven’t stopped once.

“Too much– can’t,” 

“Yes you can. You can, princess. You’re gonna come with mommy, okay? We’re gonna come together. Take a deep breath for me, there y’go. I’m almost there, just let me– fuck.”

Abby talks you through it, but also talks herself through it. If she knows you’ll come with her, she won’t be able to stop herself. She takes her eyes off of your cunt so she can watch how your face contorts at the overstimulation. She’s ready to tip over the edge and she sees that you are too. 

“Come, come now.”

You do as she says. Abby’s hips finally stop, the strap finds its home deep in your cunt, keeping you full while you spin out from your second orgasm of the night. 

Abby comes to first, she quietly mutters that she’s taking the strap out of you, knowing that you won’t be able to understand her anyway. You let out a small breath at the removal, and your legs fall down onto the bed. Abby massages your calf, and leans up to place a kiss on your forehead.

“Hi,” you mumble.

Abby smiles at you, “Hi, pretty.”

“Are y’still mad at me?”

“Nah, was never mad; could never be mad at you, sweet girl.”

You smile back at her. She gives your calf one last squeeze before getting off the bed. You whine; asking her where she’s going in your own blissed out way. 

“Gonna get you water, okay? Be right back.”

You nod and close your eyes. You shift and feel your ass sting. 

“Ow,” you whisper.

Although it does hurt, you’re happy to have a small reminder of Abby left on you. 

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson smut #abby anderson fic #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson fan fiction #abby anderson x you #abby ! #tlou fic

[berryjoong]

✩ devil by the window - hwang hyunjin ✩

read part two here!

pairing: demon!hyunjin x angel!afab reader

summary: you’re an angel, hyunjin’s a demon, and you’re both after the same soul. you hate each other, but you just can’t stay away from him.

song: devil by the window ~ tomorrow x together

word count: 3k

warning: smut under the cut, minors do not interact!! oral (f receiving), angel x demon things, unprotected sex (lol don’t do this), creampie, kinda hate sex ?? really i’m unsure about what warnings to put tbh, use of the pet name “angel” (kind of a pet name, the reader is literally an angel), some degradation, some praise

small a/n: 3k words i’m so proud of myself lmao this was kind of all over the place rip i tried. if you liked this, feel free to like and reblog and drop a request if you want !!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“we shouldn’t be doing this.”

the hushed words fell from your lips in between hurried kisses pressed to the neck of the man before you.

“you know you’re free to leave, angel, but you never do,” hyunjin chuckled lowly. he leaned his head back to allow you more access to his perfect neck. it was sinful, how devastatingly perfect and beautiful he was. only one of the many reasons you couldn’t stay away from him.

you knew you should, you knew what would happen if anyone on either side found out, but you just couldn’t stop yourself. the two of you were pulled together now and there was no way in your long, eternal life that you could imagine ending what the two of you had, no matter how precarious your situation was.

it had started as most things do, slowly and then all at once. the two of you were on a mission, you were on heaven’s side, while hyunjin was trying to pull that same soul down to hell. you quickly got in each other’s way, making for an interesting life of the human you both were after. good after bad after good, the poor human’s soul was tossed back and forth between sides in the wicked game of keep away you played.

you and hyunjin often found yourselves at each other’s throats as you fought over the human’s soul, both of you unwilling to relent to the other. hyunjin taunted you endlessly, always trying to see what would get a rile out of you. he’d poke at you, go on about how boring and “holier than thou” you were and how much easier it would be if you both were just on the same side.

you hated each other, that’s how it was always supposed to be. well, you weren’t supposed to hate him, just shrug your shoulders, rolling his insults off and have the patience of a saint. unfortunately for you, patience was never one of your strengths. slowly but surely, his words began to pick at you, making cracks in your own perfect facade.

he picked and chipped away at you until one day, you snapped completely. the utter anger and rage you felt toward him was supposed to be unknown to you but there was no denying how entirely infuriated the demon made you. he had been making progress on the soul you both were after and had been teasing you nonstop for who knows how long.

“the prissy little angel, aww, look at you.”

“you really think you can take this soul from me? how cute.”

“you know, it would be easier if we were just on the same side.”

never ending, the teasing and nagging continued prompting you to shove the pesky demon backwards, into the wall of the room where you both were. at that, he quirked an eyebrow, a devilish smirk crossing his lips.

“what, you have something you have to say, angel?” his voice was low, more taunting than he’d ever been. he had you now and he knew it, right in the palm of his hand.

“i fucking hate you,” you ground out, looking at him with such burning intensity it’s a wonder something didn’t get set on fire.

to this, he just chuckled. “big words from the perfect little angel. do they even let you use those words where you come from?” he shrugged your hands off of him, turning to pace the room you were in. your human, blissfully, was asleep so neither you nor hyunjin had much to worry about. you could infiltrate their dreams, pushing them one way or another, but right now, all you could do was focus on the smug demon in front of you.

“you’re despicable,” you spat back at him, watching him carefully as he walked around the room your human was still in.

“that is my middle name, i didn’t know you knew it.” the nonchalant manner in which he treated the situation just infuriated you even more. he just paced around the familiar room, hands behind his back and eyes half lidded.

“you aren’t even taking this mission seriously, you’re a joke,” you scoffed and crossed your arms.

faster than the blink of an eye, hyunjin was in front of you again, pushing you against the wall, his face only inches from yours. “oh, trust me, angel, i’m taking my mission very seriously.”

the seemingly permanent cocky smirk that adorned his face was the last thing you saw before he kissed you.

and that was how it started.

now here you were, pushed against him as you kissed him like your whole eternal life depended on it. you weren’t sure how long it had been since the first time something like this happened, it had probably been a few human months, not that either of you were really counting.

“my sweet little angel,” he murmured into your mouth, his voice taunting, “how far you’ve fallen.” you felt him smirk against your lips as he pushed back against you.

it was true, if anyone found out about what you two did in the shadows you were doomed. you knew exactly what the punishment was, you knew it and hated it. what you were doing was irredeemable and yet you just couldn’t make yourself stop. it was addicting, he was addicting.

“just shut up and kiss me, demon.” shut up and kiss you he did. he kissed you until you were dizzy and your mind was only filled with him and what he could do with you, to you. his hands were everywhere, pushing and pulling, grabbing at any part of you he could.

it wasn’t long before he moved away from your lips and pressed sinful little kisses to your neck as he worked his way down toward your chest. soft, short breaths escaped your lips as you tried to keep yourself still from pushing against him more.

hyunjin smirked against your skin, hearing the sweet noises that fell from your lips. “you like that, hmm?”

unable to help yourself, you tilted your head back farther, a small whimper breaking free from you as you nodded. “don’t- don’t rub it in, you filth.”

the demon that had you pinned against the wall slowly brought his face up next to yours, his lips right by your ear. “i’m nothing but filth, am i? that may be, but it’s nothing compared to how filthy we are together,” he hissed, ending the sentiment with a nip at your earlobe.

you shivered under his touch and rolled your head away from his, giving him unobstructed access to your neck to do whatever he pleased. he hummed in amusement, placing another searing kiss onto the skin there.

“someone’s needy today, hmm?” he chuckled darkly, teeth lightly grazing over the skin of your neck. you kept your mouth closed, not wanting to give him any more ammunition to use against you. he pushed you back farther onto the bed of the spare room you were in, climbing on top of you and caging you in between his strong arms.

“just eager to be done with you,” you grumbled out, even as your arms came up to wrap themselves around the back of his neck.

“oh really? then maybe i should just leave you here then if you’re that ready to get rid of me.” he went to move away and you nearly whined, tightening your arms around his neck.

“no.” the word was soft but firm at the same time as you tugged hyunjin’s face down to yours once again, your lips colliding together. he kissed you with so much fervor you were positive you could never recover. he was all over you, ensuring that he was the only thought in your head.

slowly but surely, the demon above you ground his hips down into yours, ensuring that you knew just how great his need for you was. he let his hands trail down to your hips and squeezed the flesh there tightly. his fingers moved to fiddle with the hem at the top of your skirt as he kissed you deeply.

he pulled back just enough to smirk at you, loving how red your face already was, despite him barely having done anything to you yet.

“what a good little angel, always so perfect for me,” he murmured, his voice smooth as his dark eyes raked over your laid out form. “gonna get you out of these pesky clothes now, okay?”

your head began to grow fuzzy and you felt yourself nod, followed by the feeling of hyunjin pulling back further to tug your skirt and undergarments down. he tossed them haphazardly onto the floor behind him, turning back to you with an almost hungry stare. his perfect lips curled back into a devilish grin as he gazed at you, rubbing his hands over your now bare thighs.

“now, be a good angel and spread those pretty legs for me, hmm?” he smirked down at you as your knees fell outwards almost involuntarily. hyunjin quirked an eyebrow at your eagerness, shuffling between your legs and placing small kisses down your front as he did so.

he situated himself between your legs, chuckling at just how wet you were for him already. he placed light kisses and nips here and there, working his way up your thighs before pressing his lips to where you needed him most.

“so needy for me already, you’re absolutely dripping, pretty one,” he breathed out, the feeling of his warm breath against your core making you buck your hips up toward his face slightly.

“just- just get on with it,” you groaned, not having the willpower to completely act like you didn’t want him as badly as you knew he wanted you.

“ah, ah, what do we say then, angel?” he placed another all too soft kiss to your thigh, acting completely nonchalant.

you glared down at where he sat between your legs, suddenly unwilling to say the little word he wanted from you.

“come on, my little angel, you know what it is. just one tiny word and i can give you whatever you want.” he nudged his nose lightly against your inner thigh, smirking up at you once more.

“fuck- fuck you, p-please.” your eyes rolled back in your head as he immediately dove in, attaching his lips to your clit. he devoured you like a madman, as if you were the last meal of his long life. you were quick to reach down, bunching your hands in his long hair and tugging on it as you tried pulling him in closer to you.

he hooked one of your legs over his shoulders for easier access to you, not wanting to waste any more time. he moved from your clit, down to your soaking entrance, tongue greedily lapping up the juices that coated your folds. you couldn’t stop the noises that flowed freely from your own lips as wave after wave of pleasure rolled over you. you wriggled your hips, trying to get more friction against him, and his large hands immediately came up to hold you down. he looked up at you, one eyebrow raised and he uttered a single “no,” firm, with no room left for questioning.

you just nodded quickly, throwing your head back as he began his movements once again. already you could feel pressure building up in your lower abdomen, pushing you toward your high. as if he could read your very thoughts, hyunjin pulled away a moment later and you whined at the loss of contact. you could see the evidence of your arousal clearly on his chin as he rose from his spot between your legs.

he climbed on top of you again, still smiling wickedly and leaned down to kiss you. you moaned at the taste of yourself on his lips, your hands coming up to grab at his hair. all too soon, he leaned back and pulled your shirt up and over your head.

“love to see your pretty tits when we do this, angel, can never get enough of you,” he breathed, hands tracing up and down your sides delicately. it was such a contrast to how he had been behaving with you, only moments ago. his fingers pinched at your nipples, rolling the sensitive buds between his fingers. you were completely unable to help how your hips bucked at the feeling, another loud moan leaving your lips.

“don’t worry, angel, i’ll fuck you real nice now, alright?” you whimpered at his words, hands trying to grab at any part of him you could. the demon that loomed over you merely chuckled and made quick work to rid himself of his own clothes.

you watched as he shrugged off his clothes, another wave of arousal flooding you when you see his pretty cock hit his lower stomach. it was long and flushed pink, the tip leaking sticky drops of precum, a clear signal of his own need for you.

hyunjin pumped his cock a few times before lining himself up with you, smirking at the subtle way your hips push against him. leaning over you on one hand, he uses the other to guide his cock to your entrance, slowly sinking into you. you let out a load moan at the stretch while the demon above you groaned at your tight heat now around him.

“fuck, angel, you feel so good,” he breathed out, voice low as he restrained himself from utterly wrecking you the way his instincts told him to. instead, he kept the drags of his cock in you slow, just wanting to enjoy the feeling of you.

as soon as he started moving, your hands found their way to his shoulders, just trying to pull him closer. you hated how you loved the way his skin felt on yours, but you couldn’t deny it, no matter how much you wanted to. you knew after the night was over you’d both go back to hating each other the way you did before but for now, you were going to lose yourself in the moment.

hyunjin leaned down, burying his face in your neck as another low moan escaped him. “so perfect, angel, like you were made up there in heaven just for me.”

your head lolled back and you whimpered out loud at his words, back arching up and pushing your chest against his. he continued his powerful thrusts, leaning back just slightly to pull your legs around his hips. you clawed at his shoulders, his cock hitting deeper every time he buried himself inside you.

hyunjin rested his large hands on your hips, holding them tight enough to leave bruises the next day as he pulled you close to meet his sharp thrusts. he let out a long groan before chuckling, feeling you clench around him. “close already? i thought you could last longer than that, angel.”

“close? n-no way.” you shook your head defiantly, refusing to look at him. even so, you couldn’t help the way you started to tremble slightly as hyunjin picked up the pace of his hips snapping into yours.

“oh really?” he taunted, dark eyes fixed on the way your tits bounced with every push. “we’ll see about that.”

he thrusted harder, letting go of your hips and looming over you with one hand while his other moved down to thumb at your clit. you moaned out loud at the new stimulation, your hips bucking up involuntarily. you opened your eyes to see him grinning down at you, his perfect smile positively devilish at your reaction.

“come on, be the good little angel that i know you are for me,” he urged, his words and movements pushing you toward the orgasm you’d been holding back the whole night.

“and just so you know,” he whispered in your ear, “you were my mission all along, angel.” he leaned down and kissed you harshly, the feeling of him nearly suffocating you. any other time, your mind would be reeling at the words he said, but now, you vaguely realized it, brain too muddled with pleasure. instead, the feeling of him everywhere overwhelmed you and nudged you over the edge into that place that made you see stars. you couldn’t hold back the loud whine that escaped as your climax hit you like a train, making you clench repeatedly around hyunjin’s cock. you raked your fingernails down his back as he kept pounding into you, chasing after his own high.

“fuck yeah, angel, that’s- that’s it.” he wanted to enjoy it, make it last longer but with how you tightened around him with every thrust, hyunjin knew that would be impossible. he gave a few more rough pumps before emptying himself in you, painting your snug walls white. he let out another loud swear as his own orgasm hit, pleasure washing over him and his mind fogging up slightly.

you whimpered in overstimulation as the demon above you rode out his high, pulling out of you after a few more shallow thrusts. hyunjin let himself kiss you once more before pulling back completely to clean himself up. he found a rag in the next room and wordlessly tossed it to you to clean yourself up with.

as you began cleaning yourself up, the words he’d whispered to you registered in your head. “what- what did you mean earlier, hyunjin? about me being your mission?”

to that, hyunjin just chuckled lowly. “isn’t it obvious? what do you think it means?”

he didn’t meet your eyes as he started dressing himself, just shaking his head as he wandered around the room searching for the rest of his clothes.

“you’re not stupid, angel, you know what it means. anytime you wanna give up and come home with me, you’re welcome,” were his final words before he walked out, leaving you where you were, brain whirring as you tried to process all of what he’d told you. 

#stray kids #skz smut #skz hyunjin #stray kids smut #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin smut #enemies to lovers #skz imagines #not my best but oh well

[babeeangel]

Hello !! I saw that your requests were open so I wanted to know how you think the bllk would react if their s/o asked for a break or a break up with them ?? Actually i read your work on it and it was very well written (hurts my heart ಠ⁠‿⁠ಠ) so I was curious about that.

Anyway have a good day~~

“let’s break up” - how the bllk boys would react

Hello lovely ! Are you doing great ? Was my response quick enough ? Anyways, i wrote short fics instead of headcanons, i feel like they are more suited. But if you wish, I can write them in hc forms ! Specific characters can also be requested for a part two~  enjoy and don’t cry too much~~

Blue Lock angst: breaking up with Isagi Yoichi and Itoshi Rin

Isagi - swear words, toxic behaviors from both ends, no one is right\an example to follow tbh TT - 1,2k

It had been a while. That Isagi was ignoring you. Your hugs, your texts, the cooked meals you always put aside for him. You lifted your head and looked in front of you. It was so dark now it hurt your eyes. The afternoon had gone by in a blink of an eye. You had sat on the couch and next thing you know you’re on the floor, back against the living room rug, still crying. Everytime you dried up your tears, a few minutes of thinking were enough for them to start rolling down your cheeks again. Purposeful or not, did it even matter ? And you had rehashed thoughts and fake conversations so much by now, that you started convincing yourself he avoided you deliberately, to have fun and make you cry. 

The dim sky barely lit up the room, it was hard for you to distinguish the furniture around you. Everything was a grayish blue. Inside and outside. You and your surroundings. When you heard keys in the lock, you took a deep breath, eyes closed. The door creaked open. 

“Hey ba-” The voice that started talking with so much enthusiasm abruptly stopped. “Why’s it so dark ?” Without even warning, Isagi turned the switch on. Ow. It hurts your eyes so much. Yet you continue blankly staring at the coffee table. “Practice was so tough today. Hum, Y\N where are you ?”. You could feel him searching left and right for you. So used to it huh, you greeting him the second he arrives, a warm smile on your face, the table set behind you. There was a last time for everything, but none of you knew that yesterday was the one. “Oh well.” Quickly giving up, you heard his duffle bag hit the floor. He left everything as it was, heading for a shower. 

“I’m here.” Your expression still being as empty, not even looking in his direction, you got up. Your hand helping you lift your weight, you finally revealed yourself to him. From your peripheral vision, you could see his smile getting wider as he saw you. Not that you cared. You didn’t even bother to look at him when you pronounced that dreadful sentence: “We need to talk”.

“Do we ?” Isagi’s smile instantly dropped. But it made you furious. Instead of an apprehensive, concerned expression, he seemed annoyed. That bitch is gonna complain again right ? That’s probably what he was thinking. Couldn't he at least fake being scared for your relationship ? “Well i must. I’ll tell you something. Although I'm surprised you have nothing to tell me. Nothing’s been bothering you ? Everything alright, a-ok ? La vie en rose ?” You still didn't look at him, though you were walking in his direction, your eyes were empty. “What, does something seem wrong to you ? To me nothing h-” Ugh ! He was so ! Infuriating ! Why was he acting all cool, all unbothered, disdainful ? “Something ?! Something ?! Everything !”

You finally looked at him. Right in the eyes. You hadn't realized that anger had taken over your sadness. “How can you dare to pretend things are going right ? Have some respect, for me, and yourself !” “Okay okay, what will you whine about today ?” Isagi answered right away. “My fangirls ? How you wanna meet my friends ? The fact you’re convinced my parents dislike you ? Everything we’ve been through again and again.” He had an arrogant tone, almost laughing at you. “You always have something to bring up. I’m getting tired of your childish complaints”. 

Right where it hits the most. You scoffed. “Okay. Okay then. You’ll be so glad to hear what I've got to say”. You too started putting on a derisive expression. “At first I was sad. But now I'm thinking, how could you let yourself be treated this way, love ?” You were walking around the living room, in a theatrical way, gesturing to yourself and raising your eyebrows faking concern. “Isagi. You looked at him. I’m not gonna let you neglect me again, let alone pretend I'm the one who’s wrong. You and I… We’re over”. You looked at him almost satisfied. You-from-4-hours-ago would've never believed that, out of all the feelings you could have felt when asking to break up, amusement would have been the one.

And what you saw was even more delightful. Isagi’s expression turned from scoffy to utterly shocked. He did not see that coming. After all, to him, you had become someone who would just complain… Not actually take action. Little did he know everything he took for granted was going to disappear. As quickly as you would. Suddenly his whole world fell upon his feet.

You smiled, walking closer and closer to him. His sad expression.. It was almost fulfilling now. So taken aback, Isagi couldn't move, he only looked you in the eyes, full of despair. His eyebrows were wavering, his eyes were starting to get glossy from tears welling up, he tried to blink. You approached your face dangerously close to his. Your noses were almost touching, but you didn't budge though. You looked at him deep in the eyes, feeding on his pain. “Can you finally feel what I felt ?” Your tone was full of resolution. You stayed for a few seconds, just to pressure him, until you stepped back. You took each of his arms, and looked at his face again. “It’s okay. You’re a resilient boy, you’ll get through this”. You put on a fake pout, mocking compassion. “It’s not like I mattered much to you anyway, right ?”. 

You violently let go of him, shaking his arms with strength, your smile fading away. “Now go”. You walked right past him, took your keys, your bag and left. It was his apartment, and you still had some stuff left. After all, it’s not like you had planned to break him up today, he just brought it upon himself. The way you moved made it look like you were unaffected. You swiftly opened the door and exited. You walked with resoluteness, steady walking, chin up through the hallways, up until the elevator. 

On his side, it took Isagi a few seconds to register what had just happened. He was still standing there, blankly when you left, not even trying to get you back. So confused. Until it hit him. It hit him so hard. Tears started rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably as he fell to the ground. What had he done ? How did he allow himself to lose you ? The corny saying that you ‘only notice something when it’s gone’ finally had meaning. As he played in his head every little thing he was already missing from you, a crushing feeling of remorse dawned upon him. Finally, he realized everything he’d done wrong while going out with you, and to add to the burden he now bore, he finally saw that that’s what you had been complaining to him about. Everything you had said, you were right. 

Knees to the ground and hands shakily wiping off his tears, Isagi thought he’d never see the end of it. He wanted you back. Maybe if he called you, apologized, no, maybe if he, ugh it was in vain. He just wanted to tell you he’s sorry. But was he ? Maybe the two of you were not meant to be. He looked at his hands and got up, wiped his tears. Actually… you were wrong. He did everything right. But you were an ungrateful lucky lover. 

Obviously, it’d end up like this. You broke down crying in the elevator. How foolish were you, to think he’d be affected. Like it always happens, you were the one hurt, and he didn't question himself. If just once it could’ve been reversed. 

Rin - 1k2 words

Even though the lights were bright and the crowd was loud, it's like you weren't there. Everyone around you was keenly embroiled, but you could barely distinguish the players on the field. You had come to watch your boyfriend play, just like you’d watched every other game of his from this season. But this time, you couldn't force yourself to get into it. Your vision was blurry, you know, when you can't focus your eyes on something ? You see it happen from afar, you’d like to catch every detail of it, but your eyes just won’t let you. It happens when you’re tired, or when you don’t put in enough effort. You could not concentrate, too busy thinking.

You were sitting in the vip spot, all alone, unfilled seats surrounding you, an empty, almost sad, look on your face. You knew what would come after the match. And as boring as the game felt to you today -even though it wasn’t- you didn't want it to end. Because it finishing meant you also had to finish something. Something you had to say to Rin. He scores, smiles faintly and glances at your direction. 

But you weren’t looking at him anymore. When you watch him these days… You don’t feel anything anymore. If you could force yourself to do so, you would have already done it a while ago. Every candle you blow is accompanied by the same wish, to restore the feelings you once had for him. It would feel so much easier if you could continue on pretending. What’s wrong with you ? He’s the dream guy…

You stared into space, and suddenly your ears rang louder than before. You looked up to see that the match had ended. You take a deep breath, faintly smile as you know your boyfriend is looking at you, and get up. Time to face reality. As you make your way to the backstage to meet him, you start thinking. You still have that surreal, high on over-stimulation feel, but your thoughts start clearing up: this might be the worst time to do what you’re about to do. He had just won a match, almost single-handedly carrying his team, and his season was far from over. It would most likely break his spirit. But you just felt like being selfish… Once again. Feigning this much, you can't do it longer. There was nothing left anymore that made you want to stay, apart from the objectivity that Rin himself, is what anyone would wish for. Even that was obvious to you, but it wasn’t enough anymore. Nowadays looking at him is like looking at a dessert when you’re not hungry. You don’t even want it, it wouldn’t satisfy you. 

You feel the coldness of the metal stair rail you’re trailing your fingers on. It brings you to where you ought to go. “Y\N”. His voice is just as cold. You used to dig that, though. “I did good, didn’t I?” “You sure did”, you answer, looking at the floor. “Look Rin, there’s something I wanna tell you. I’m sorry for being brutal. I want us to break up”. 

The whole room paused. Oh yes, because at this point, I might as well do it in a room full of people. They were bound to find out anyway. Rin’s feeble smile totally faded. His mouth was even slightly opened from shock. “Le-let’s take this elsewhere”. Rin had put a serious face on and sharply grabbed your wrist, dragging you rather inconsiderately in the staircase. No one came here ever. The sound resonated so well, it was almost scary. If someone were to pass by, they would hear everything. “Why so sudden ?”

You were so ashamed. You frenziedly shook your hand off his grip, still looking at the floor. “I don't know. It’s been on my mind a while. It just took me some time to muster the courage”. Lies. “That’s odd. It’s selfish, but I wish you’d never told me”. Rin took his hand to your chin, raising your head up so you’d look him in the eyes. You tried to escape, and look left or right, but you felt emeralds piercing right through your eyes. You looked straight up. You were most definitely going to miss this perfect face. His cold hands and towering stature. “Tell me the truth now”. He commended and you obeyed, as always:

“I dont love you anymore”. You glossy lips rested pouty. It was almost criminal, saying this while staring at him dead in the eyes. He roughly let you go with a ‘tch’, making you lose your balance. “That’s it huh ?” His back was turned but you could feel the disappointment in his voice. Not sad, just let down by your lack of effort. He was right though, if you were to end it, you could’ve done it nicely. You didn't know what to do as he wasn't speaking anymore. “Are you okay with that ?” What stupid thing to say. You looked at him, waiting for an answer. “Okay. Let’s break up”. Rin finally turned to you. You felt your heart fall to your chest, so heavy. Why now ? You’d rehearsed this conversation over and over, you knew well you didn't have feelings for him anymore. So why is it hurting ? Why now ? Rin walked to what you thought was closer to you, but shifted before. He was going for the door. “Tomorrow, come pick up your stuff at my place. If you can’t, please text my maid, she’ll get it sent to your address”. You started feeling tears welling up and your throat itching. “Is that all ?” You got walking too, to reach Rin. 

Pushing Rin’s chest with both your hands, you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier. But he barely budged. Your voice cracked: “Come on, react ! I don't know, throw a fit, cry, disrespect me, act like you care ! Grab my shoulders and shake me, shove me to the wall !” You were totally breaking down. Tears were now rolling down your flushed cheeks, your hands were shaking, rested on his chest. 

“Is that wrong for me, to love you so much I'll accept everything you do to me ?”. You looked up, surprised to hear him answer. “If you want to break up, I'll accept, because I'd do anything and everything for you. I love you like that ! I’m so hurt but I'm trying to keep it cool so you don’t regret your decision. If you came to realize how terrible you’re treating me right now, you would feel bad. Let me pretend I'm the bad guy so you walk away with a clean conscience.” His words sunk into you. “What, did you, on top of treating me like this, expect me to plead with you to stay, to change your mind ? I’m all yours, but I'm no beggar.”

Rin finally pushed you off him, looking down on you. “It’s over, goodbye”. The sound of his voice and the door shutting closed resonated in the staircase. It felt so alone. You stood there shaking from the cold and crying. It might be better like this.

A\N: ngl, these are borderline corny, ooc, and took me way too long to write TT. Next time i'll write HC maybe. Advices anyone ?! not rly proud of these.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #isagi #isagi x y/n #isagi x reader #isagi angst #blue lock angst #bllk angst #bllk x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #itsohi rin #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #rin x reader #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin x y/n #itoshi rin x you #itoshi rin angst #rin itoshi angst

[seek--rest]

👋

I've seen your challengers takes and I've found them very interesting. What do you think of this take about Patrick being the only one that knows the real Tashi or can see through her skin?,that he treated her as a real person and a peer,that he doesn't let her to control him and she could be her true self with him and that is why she is infuriated but still attracted to him. Sometimes I find those takes about "real Tashi" a little reductive of Tashi as a character but I don't know to explain it.

I really don’t fuck with this theory tbh. It is very reductive and to me, seems to center “Tashi analysis” from a very Patrick-centered lens. Like I talked about before when it comes to interrogating Tashi’s behavior and what it is that she does vs what others thinks she does, I think that this is just a very basic, simplistic interpretation of what these characters are.

“Patrick told Tashi who she really is and that’s why she dislikes him” sure, Patrick seems to believe that but just because Patrick says doesn’t actually mean that it’s true. Patrick also seems to believe that he’s just as capable of winning a grand slam with Tashi’s coaching— now at 31 years old and ranked somewhere in the 200s— seeing himself as the better player over Art who has already fucking won these games. Art is objectively the better tennis player in actual reality but according to Patrick, he still sees Art as lesser and that any gains Art’s gotten to be solely because of Tashi and her coaching.

Which, before some Patrick defender comes swinging, I don’t think it’s inaccurate to say Art got better because of Tashi. I think that’s the Actual Text. But much like these characters, multiple things can be true at once. Art did get better with Tashi’s coaching, but that doesn’t mean that Patrick will at this point in his career— or the assumptions that Patrick is inherently a better player because he’s still riding on his latent talent as a teenager as a man in his 30s

Patrick sees Tashi through his lens and while he might not be wholly wrong— I refuse this universal fandom acceptance that he’s completely right, of who Tashi is and what she thinks of herself. It IS reductive and worse, it positions Tashi as an object even within so called fics and analysis meant to “center” her.

For once, I’d love if fandom would let Tashi be a person into her own ends rather than only seeing her through the frame of the man people want to fuck.

#seek speaks #challengers #challengers spoilers #tashi duncan #tashi donaldson #patrick zweig #art donaldson

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

seeing all these posts in canon jc tag saying how jc did better than madam yu ... pretty sure madam yu never hit jc (did she? if im wrong tell me xd but still he'd be the same if she did cuz he hits jin ling in anger multiple times), or expose him to herself torturing innocent people to death so much that jc would be used to smuggling them out... yea jin ling and his relationship turned out better no thanks to him tho, jin ling got lucky to be more jin than jiang tbh cuz majority of his time would be at the sect he's heir of and jc does love jin ling unconditionally but madam yu in all her abusive glory also loved jc unconditionally, like jc was willing to die for jin ling, madam yu was willing to die for him too, that aint undoing the harm the two adults ended up doing to the two kids in the scenario at least in the emotional sense, and aint no way ppl are saying hes doing better than her, hes at least on the same level in lack of affection cuz jin ling was so unused to being even hugged or how to handle a hug the barest of affections jin ling turned out better and grew purely on his own effort coz jc sure wasnt setting any positive examples for him-

It seems to be implied that Madam Yu herself has no issue getting physically harsh with either of her own children as well,

1:

Madam Yu sent a look at Jiang Cheng. “Horsing around again? Come, let me have a look at you.”

Jiang Cheng scurried over, and Madam Yu squeezed his arm with her slender fingers before giving him a sound slap on the shoulder.

"Not a bit of progress in your cultivation. You’re almost seventeen and still acting like an ignorant child! Running around with this lot, doing mischief all day—do you think you’re the same as them? Hell knows which gutters they’ll be crawling in in the future, but you’ll be the leader of the Jiang Clan!”

Jiang Cheng staggered from the force of her slap. He hung his head, not daring to argue back.

2:

"Sorry!” said Wei Wuxian loudly. “I didn’t know shijie would come! I’ll go look for my clothes right now!”

Madam Yu was even more incensed. “You dare run from me?! Get the hell back here and kneel!”

As she spoke, she cracked her whip. A searing pain spread down Wei Wuxian’s back.

"Yowch!” he exclaimed aloud. The pain was so intense it almost sent him rolling on the ground.

Just then, Madam Yu heard a soft voice ask, “Mom, do you want some watermelon…?”

Jiang Yanli’s sudden appearance startled Madam Yu. With this delay, the group of little brats had vanished without a trace. Madam Yu was so infuriated she turned to pinch Jiang Yanli’s cheeks.

Eat, eat, eat. That’s all you know!”

The pinch made Jiang Yanli’s eyes water. Vaguely, she said, “Mom. A-Xian and the rest were hiding here to cool off. I came looking for them on my own, so don’t blame them… Do…do you want some watermelons…? I don’t know who sent them over, but they’re very sweet. Eating watermelon in summer can relieve the heat and quench your fire. They’re sweet and juicy. I’ll slice some for you…”

Violence seems to be an unfortunate overarching theme regarding the Jiang Family and how they exhibit any emotional behavior. Madam Yu each time she is on page is the main instigator of physical punishments and pain out of anger, Jiang Cheng seeing her as his own role model follows this same pattern with Jin Ling. The above passage of Madam Yu'a introduction as a parental figure and Jiang Cheng is terribly similar to what we get for Jiang Cheng's introduction as Jin Ling's uncle and a caretaker,

"Since Hanguang-jun wants to punish you, take the lesson this once. It’s not easy for him, either, to manage the juniors from another clan.”

His tone was sarcastic, but it was unclear to whom it was directed. Lan Wangji, who never responded to such provocation, ignored him.

Jiang Cheng turned, his voice scathing. “What are you standing around for? Waiting for the prey to run into your sword itself? If you can’t catch the creature here on Mount Dafan tonight, then you needn’t come to me again in the future!"

And to answer the main point of your ask, no, Jiang Cheng is not any better towards Jin Ling and how he treats him. He treats him exactly as Madam Yu did with Jiang Cheng. With cruel ever changing expectations that were too high for a child to ever be reasonably expected to achieve without help or the care that should have been exhibited to raise a confident child. Jiang Cheng took the role of his mother in all ways and superimposed his life onto Jin Ling as well. Generational trauma is not always easy to of course pick up when you have grown within that environment. Yes you may know something is not "normal" as you interact with others but it's hard to name or describe why. Jiang Cheng thought of his mother respectfully despite her own many flaws, generational deference is difficult to question when that is all you have known until you are in a better environment to explore and comfortably learn despite being less than grand in execution. Jiang Cheng did not get that chance in life, but he does finally let Jin Ling have that as Jin Ling seeks out Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji for nighthunts to learn from.

Unconditional love isn't always a saving grace, and that is an unfortunate reality of life that not all love is always good or healthy despite how very much you love them or each other. Unconditional love can be selfish cruel and hurtful in the ways that people choose to express it when they don't want to be better for their loved ones. The play of trauma and victim blaming is terrible when you are both the abuser and victim and continue that cycle.

The only thing that Jiang Cheng "did better" than Madam Yu, was living to let go of his hates and insecurities enough to stop imposing them on to Jin Ling as well so the child could grow better and with actual role models that encourage a nurturing non-mocking environment first and foremost.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #you dare to argue that this is just how ethnic mothers show love #I will fucking manifest in your house in the middle of the night to bite your head off #fuck madam yu #canon jiang cheng #jin ling

[starfxkr]

Hey moony idk if this is the right place to talk about this stuff (pls ignore this if it isn’t or if it’s too much in any way) but I kind of struggle with my femininity I’m not overly feminine or not like I guess I don’t present as very traditionally feminine with a really short haircut and I’m really tall (almost 6’0) and the way I dress but at the same time I am very girly on the inside in terms of general preferences and interests sometimes and it’s hard to balance and be perceived authentically if that makes sense so I often just kind of feel like an imposter in every territory lol sorry for the weird rant I just feel like I’m at this weird crossroad and that I should have this stuff figured out at my age but I really don’t

this is actually the exact right place to talk about it because i once went on a longgggg rant about this at 3am lol

but i do also very much struggle with my femininity and i got a double whammy bc im black so ppl automatically view me as more masculine, and like right now the current thing thats praised is hyperfemininity and if you don't present that way you can be quickly disregarded as "not a girls girl" without people giving you a chance its infuriating

im also at a crossroads of discovering what femininity means to me and how much i even wanna participate in it? like tbh big big reason i made this blog and developed my readers the way that i did is because it felt like there was a lack of readers who existed on the spectrum of femininity. and i wanted more people to see themselves so thats why my reader really are not super hyper girls accept for like 2 the rest i have them ebb and flow because i think most people ebb and flow.

#✨.txt

[lavampira]

10, 14 and/or 27 for WoL asks? 👀 Much love to D'alia 💜💜💜

[wol questions]

ty rue!! 🖤

10. how do they feel about their relationship with hydaelyn? midgardsormr?

hydaelyn is a strange dynamic with her for a time - confusing, at first, and often experienced the “why me?” during her journey, some selfish resentment for her own obligations (and for minfilia’s too) along the way. she’s always been more spiritual than religious and the mothercrystal is difficult to wrap her mind around until she learned of venat and their pact to save eitherys from the final days. ultimately, she loves her in the way that a child loves a parent, and especially one who has to make tough decisions for a greater reason.

middy is even more complicated. the first time she ever saw him was as a child during the battle of silvertear skies, a special brand of terrifying and awe watching him fight the garleans, become the keeper of the lake, and the mor dhona land corrupt from the battle tbh. so it felt even more like a betrayal when he suppressed the blessing of light, and though she later understood that it was a test of her worthiness, it still stung, but she respects him and holds close to heart the fact that she earned his respect and his aid for mortals in turn, and continues to aid his children with that in mind. he’s essentially her cranky protective grandfatherly figure now even while he sleeps again.

14. answered here!

27. how did the events of shadowbringers impact them?

such an emotional rollercoaster, and if not for the personal growth she’d undergone during the drk questline, I don’t think she would’ve gotten through it as adjusted tbh. the light poisoning shook her up the worst, particularly in the way it affected her aether and ability to cast and unsure if she would survive, let alone see sid and rielle again. all the deception between urianger and raha angered her, but she loves them both dearly for trying to do what they thought was right to protect both worlds and her. everything with thancred, ryne, and minfilia actually brought her closer to thancred, even if things were touch-and-go with the stubbornness and unwillingness to communicate for a while, and learning of what minfilia had done for the first brought her some closure in their relationship as well. emet-selch saddened her more than anything, understanding his grief in the sense that she, too, had (albeit accidentally) created simulacra on her own as a dark knight, and seeing the recreation of amaurot was profoundly heartbreaking because of it, but also infuriating at the lengths he and the other ascians would go to bring their world back or the view of mortals. ardbert merging souls with her to help her survive the light and defeat emet-selch devastated her, but she carries their legacies with her, and one of her eyes became the color of astraea’s (azem’s) as a result of that merge so it’s a constant reminder. azem still unnerves her; she knows that she isn’t the same person despite having fragments of their soul, and wants the distance from that, but respects the legacy there, too. all of it continued to weigh on her heavily in the time leading up to endwalker.

#asked and answered #durues #oc: d'alia liveq #shadowbringers spoilers #endwalker spoilers

[impishtubist]

"Don’t expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you.Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them — gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks." (PoA chap-14)

Little Remus here is guilt tripping harry. Shaming him for going to Hogsmede.

Talking about taking Sirius Seriously (lol), Mr. Lupin, The audacity- wouldn't you know a thing or two about taking Sirius Black seriously? Why don't you go to Dumbledore and tell him how easy it is for Sirius to sneak into Hogwarts (here I'm telling ya I want to use so many curse words especially in my own lang but I won't🥲)

Seriously tho, Lupin was oh so worried about Harry's safety yet-YET- he decided to sit on such important information. Had Sirius really been behind Harry, he'd have been dead by now. And Mr Lupin here did nothing.

I'm all in for- thank God he didn't.- but I'm mature enough to understand that it was wrong thing to do and they shouldn't have ignored it.

Sirius himself would have been angry tbh. 'Poor way to repay lily and James' indeed Remus.

They were your friends,their son- Your best friend's son was in danger yet you choose to withhold such a big information that could have changed the whole narrative. Harry was not wrong in DH tbh. Lol

These days I'm full of rage lol😂 I like Lupin but some of his actions and behaviour are downright terrifying.

Yeah, these are basically my feelings exactly! Obviously we're glad Remus never told Dumbles about Sirius being an Animagus, HOWEVER he had no right to then turn around scold Harry and use his dead parents against him. Like, at least be consistent, Remus. 😂 We like you but you are infuriating.

#but i guess we can't expect much from a man who abandoned harry with abusers and left his boyfriend in prison lol #imp speaks #chaos night

[quinttyz]

BALDUR’S GATE 3 UPDATE: OFFICIALLY UNOFFICIALLY TOGETHER?? bruv what is the relationship at this point lmao!!

Childe danced with Wyll and it was so sweet,,,,WYLL WAS SO SWEET!!! AHHHHH THEY KISSED 😭😭😭 and bid each other good night. Blud I know for sure Astarion saw that when he got back from hunting

Childe was alone in her tent for the night. Yea the silence was deafening,,

Come morning after breakfast, Astarion excused himself and took Childe with him KSHSHSJJSJS the others were like 🤨 ‼️. Wyll was the only one unsurprised

“So, I hear you have a new lover,” Astarion says, his tone trying to have its usual cadence.

They talked about what happened and well what do you expect from 2 emotionally constipated people LMAO. I like to think that when Astarion said he’ll miss their trysts, he meant more than just the sex HAHAHA. Even Childe noticed that their fooking situations were not that frequent lately (and when they did fuck, it felt…different) Recently, they’ve just been hanging out together!

I think that’s what confused Childe lmao. Like,,,is he still interested or was she dropped down to “good friend” status. AND YEA HER FEELINGS WERE CONFUSING HER TOO! She’s a bard!! She’s supposed to know how to word shit out beautifully!! But this situation left her a stammering mess

The reason why she kissed Wyll because of…well it was a selfish reason. SHE DID LIKE WYLL but when they kissed,,it felt like,,it felt different. Like it wasn’t her that he should be kissing tbh (blud felt so bad, Wyll deserves better. I swear in the next pts im gonna romance him I LOVE HIM BUT THIS IS AN ASTARION RUN 😭)

Astarion was also confused by his growing emotions but he’s better at hiding it (which infuriated Childe lmao)

Ahh, but Childe dropped the hard line, “Maybe I want something more with you.” NAHAHAHAHAHHAHA WHICH SHOCKED ASTARION (drawing idea hehe)

He tries to recover, not wanting to seem vulnerable and nonchalantly agrees

“Well then darling, consider yourself well and truly taken.”

These fuckheads are still together 🤪. Hmm,, i guess their relationship dynamic wouldn’t really change that much? But it became a lil exclusive yeyehe..both still don’t know how to word their true feelings out lmfao

But even the way Wyll handled rejection was so graceful,,,”I hope he makes you happy” with that sad smile,, aw man,,,,but ngl I burst out laughing at option no. 1 “YEAH IM STARTING TO REGRET MY CHOICE”

By the way, Im otw to Moonrise! Last Light Inn is so cozy,, im happy I met rolan again (even though he almost hit me with a bottle) and Dammon 🥺🥺🥺🥺 right now Im fighting that weird spider guy YEOWCHHH

#quinttyz rambles #first weekend of first academic week #god bless… #baldur’s gate 3 #baldur’s gate 3 astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate astarion #oc: the stealer of memories #astarion ancunin

[bookscandlesnbts]

Jungkook barely hold Han Sohee’s hand in the Seven MV but they’re now expecting a kiss or ‘intimate’ scenes? lol y’all can’t be serious, setting yourself up for disappointment every time. I think she’s most likely going to play some sort of love interest (I’m starting to get so bored with those mediocre pop love songs..) but if they dance together and he barely touches her it will be a milestone already lmao

and yeah let’s not talk about the lack of chemistry in Seven.. from Jungkook’s part imo cause Sohee is a freaking good actress and she was convincing

Sorry I love Jungkook’s personality (not liking his solo chapter though) but he’s a particularly bad actor imo. he looked so stiff in their scenes it didn’t convinced me at all and made the whole mv average though I personally loved the concept and found it funny. if there’s any scenes with the actress in Standing next to you MV, unless he took some hardcore acting classes, i’m expecting it to be as awkward as Seven. but he’s not going to kiss the girl.. and they call us delusional for side eyeing jikook lol

Anon, you took the words right out of my mouth. All of them. I’ve been dreading this release tbh. The way this fandom moves around Jungkook really really bothers me. I can’t stand it. If a bunch of y/ns try to flood my ask box tomorrow, I’m just going to block them. Nothing I say matters to them, and I’m tired of trying to explain myself. It’s boring and exhausting. I also probably won’t watch the music video. 🤭 I don’t know why I let the “noise” of the fandom bother me but we can’t watch anything without sexualizing Jungkook, and as an ace person, it infuriates me if I’m choosing my words appropriately. I have no problem with him dancing with women or having a female lead in a music video, but the way that this fandom acts so immature and blows everything out of proportion isn’t for me. It’s not good for my mental health, and I would rather be left alone. I know I won’t be convinced anyway because like you said and I agree with, Jungkook is a terrible actor 😅 but we know this and we love him anyway. So yeah, I’ll be taking a backseat regarding the release of Golden. I’ll listen to the album, listen to any songs that I like often and that’s it. I’m over Chapter 2. I want the tannies back. This solo chapter brought nothing but fandom infighting, toxic solo stans, and straight dumpster fire trash if you ask me. Wake me up when it’s 2025.

[kwop-kilawtley]

Hi!! <3 I barely use tumblr but I stumbled upon your blog while going thru the JxB tag and I just had to say this… Rereading Twilight as an adult is so… infuriating ? I first read the books when I was 14 and even tho I was team Edward back then I still loved Jake and I felt so weird about Bella becoming a vampire? Like, story-wise, it felt so empty and unfulfilling, even to my naive 14 yr old self. Now I’m 26 and I recently reread the books and I just can’t!!! believe!!! this!!! It reminds me so much of the way I romanticised my toxic relationships/friendships as a teen because they felt intense and crazy and they hurt so bad that it was almost good? Like that’s exactly what Bella was doing throughout the entire series and it breaks my heart that this girl never healed, never learned to love herself, and is forever mentally stuck at age 18 in her perfect little world where she got everything without any consequences. Growing older and healing from my trauma made me realise that life is the greatest gift and that I want nothing more than a happy, peaceful, sunshine type of love, the love Bella could’ve had with Jake. Rereading the JxB chapters in NM and Eclipse literally hurt because this kind of ease and warmth is all I’ve ever wanted but my trauma made me think I deserve drama and intensity and pain. It’s just so messed up I can’t believe how angry I am with this stupid teen story like!!! It had so much potential but oh well… Sorry for the rant but I feel like you’d understand what I mean. Hope you have a great day :>

EVERYTHING YOU SAID EXACTLYYYYYYY. Like I actually go INSANE because of the potential and how people don’t see it this way. I’ve been team Jacob since I’m 10 but would like go back and forth to team Switzerland. But now I’m fully team Jacob like I p much only was Switzerland bc of the nostalgia of the first book. I’ve been in abusive toxic relationships and it’s legit exactly like bxe. It may seem subtle and just bc he didn’t physically hurt her and was obsessed with her doesn’t mean it’s GOOD. It’s very very empty and sends out a horrible message to people I think. Like bella just chose the need for perfection. She didn’t fix anything it was a bandaid. JACOB WAS RIGHT THEREEEEE. And they have ACTUAL chemistry. Exb are trauma bonded. I talk about this all the time on here and it will always make me so angry but we are content in our team Jacob hive mind tbh <3 canon cannot hurt us

#anon #team jacob #ask

[badedramay]

so. since you’re revisiting, a diyar-e-dil question. i started rewatching a lot of old dramas i used to love recently and while i can acknowledge many of these are products of their time and emblematic of certain societal ideals i also feel like the harm of those ideals is sometimes so hard to ignore. like in rewatching diyar-e-dil i’ll go to the youtube comments and so many people have nothing but disdain for ruhi when all i can feel rewatching as an adult is immense sympathy for her. i know the point of the drama as a whole is to overcome differences and prejudice and to mend old wounds, and there is of course a valid concern in how ruhi imposes her own anger and hatred onto faarah to the point of suffocation. but i don’t know how people don’t sympathize with ruhi for the reasons she’s angry in the first place. if i were a mother and my husband told me to get my daughter married to her cousin out of a need to mend old wounds i would be infuriated. i would feel terrified for my daughter and for her ability to make her own choices. and it feels like the degree to which ruhi and faarah are stripped of agency for the sake of perpetuating the whole narrative is almost absurd, like they have to go along with everything and wait for it all to fall into place bc that’s the only way the message of familial unity will get across (and i know faarah doesn’t give in literally speaking, she’s obv quite defiant, but i’m referring more to the wait-and-see narrative approach that our dramas are so often fond of to make a girl come around to a guy she’s forcefully married to). of course wali ends up being the better love interest in the end even though he utterly manhandles her in the beginning bc she “belongs” to him. of course ruhi was just wrong and judgmental of the family the whole time and not reacting to a fear of feudalist tradition and supremacy. of course faarah’s mamoozaad cousin was conveniently evil and psychotic the whole time. it all feels way too convenient. and i know there has to be some suspension of disbelief to successfully engage with these stories but i don’t know how capable i am of it anymore when it seems so many harmful stereotypes and mindsets are perpetuated through our dramas and continue to be, and they overwhelmingly treat people who are apprehensive of the harms of certain traditions like judgmental aliens who simply have to meet the right family to come around. it feels like a very naive approach to addressing those apprehensions and the societal concerns at the root of them

in any case, i know you love diyar-e-dil a lot, so if any of this upsets you feel free to delete the ask entirely. but (to finally ask my question lol) i was wondering, did any of these little details ever catch your eye or bother you too with respect to what we allow dramas to subtly perpetuate on a societal level? i feel like people’s engagement with these topics and to this level of depth is quite low on pak drama twt, but i’ve enjoyed your deeper analysis so i figured i’d take a chance and ask for your insight. hope none of this comes off as judgmental of you or your tastes bc i definitely don’t intend it to be! for all of my qualms with the drama now i am still fond of it in certain aspects, just not so much in others anymore

*rubs hand in glee*

first off, thank you for sending in this long and insightful ask. just to be clear i am not the least bit upset or offended by it cuz whatever you said IS a valid point. tbh, the reason why i want to revisit Diyar e Dil is because I want to watch it and see how I *now* feel about it. nostalgia paints a pretty picture and while I am sure no amount of years will lessen my love for this drama, my reason for revisiting is to see what more I can add to the commentary that I have already made (and i have made a LOT of it) about the drama and its narrative themes. have my tastes changed? how forgiving or not am I now about the things show in the drama vs when I first watched it in 2015 or when I rewatched it in 2018? i know i have changed..but how much has Diyar e Dil changed in the years? these are important questions and I believe asking them is only fair and legitimate. bhayee jo baat hai..how long can we continue to recommend dramas as "best that the industry has to offer" but with a disclaimer "yeah ignore some of the obvious flaws of it though". Diyar e Dil for so long has been my no-brainer drama to recommend to people looking for quality scripts..it's only fair if I put it to test.

therefore fair warning: i am answering this based on my previous knowledge of the show which might be lacking cuz time works in a funny way to the memory xD

warning 2: it's long.

Ruhi was, in its truest essence, a grey character. up until the point when Behroze takes Ruhi to meet Aga Jaan after he makes the choice of choosing his love over his family, Ruhi had all my support. she wasn't a bad person; despite her fears she encouraged her husband to reconnect with his family. even until Behroze makes his decision of getting Faraa married to Wali, I could sympathize with Ruhi. where she fully loses me is how Ruhi treats Faraa after all that. the years long emotional abuse she subjects Faraa to..that's where she crosses a line of no coming back. the thing with Ruhi is that makes it easy for the YT audience to make her the subject of their disdain is how hypocritical Ruhi was when it came to her family vs Behroze's. Ruhi went above and beyond to keep her family close and in love with her. I get why she did it, the fear of abandonment had her clinging on to them for dear life. Where Behroze also lost her is how she simply refused to extend that courtesy towards Behroze's family. She had such a trigger happy response ready whenever Behroze mentioned his father that it baffled Behroze. Had he not been a good husband to Ruhi? Had he not been a good son-in-law for her family? Had he not loved and supported her and her family in whatever capacity he could? Behroze's obligation was only towards Ruhi but he accepted that Ruhi's family came around in their toughest times so he accepted them as his own. But that doesn't erase that his family DOES exist. That for years his brother had been trying to build the bridge between him and their father. That it was Behroze's own zidd that made him lose time in which he could've made more peaceful amends. Behroze was troubled, he was emotionally and mentally disturbed; the first person he expected to give him support no questions asked was the first person to abandon him. And Ruhi CONTINUED to abandon Behroze for years by not caring for Faraa; by not even trying to muster up the manners to have a kind conversation with her father-in-law. Ruhi and Behroze were both abandoned by their family. In both cases the families did eventually come around. if Ruhi was willing to forgive her own family for it, why not for Behroze's? Specially when Behroze reconnected with his family by getting the worst possible news he could. Ruhi's flaw that pushes her in the darker of the grey category is her victim complex. And the narrative does call her out on it. That in the list of people who made mistakes, Ruhi is not excluded from it. A lot of Ruhi's anger and fears are justified but SO MUCH of her actions aren't.

so many harmful stereotypes and mindsets are perpetuated through our dramas and continue to be, and they overwhelmingly treat people who are apprehensive of the harms of certain traditions like judgmental aliens who simply have to meet the right family to come around. it feels like a very naive approach to addressing those apprehensions and the societal concerns at the root of them

Fair point but it doesn't really apply in the case of this show, does it? Ruhi spent her life with a man who belonged to the same society and family whose supposed evil traditions she wanted to "protect" her daughter from? if Behroze turned out to be a decent man, by sheer law of probability his family could also be decent. No. this show only chooses the veil of being apprehensive towards the norm of a certain society to show how a person uses certain stereotypes and prejudices to conveniently stay in their own bubble where they feel safe. as far as themes go, Diyar e Dil was never meant to address these socio-cultural concerns. sure, they were an important plot device but the plot itself was not fully reliant on them. if anything, DeD ended up showing a positive side of the often criticized segment of the society by reiterating that a person's inner goodness or evilness is not defined by which socio-cultural background they belong to.it never made any sweeping statements about how ALL families in ALL over the world are ALL like this. no. it showed a story of this ONE family only with all the mistakes it made and how it worked to rectify them and left it to the audience to learn something from it if they liked it enough.

One of the big takeaways from the show is to judge people by their individual merits, to ponder over their actions not in isolation but within the context of their situation, because that's how one truly knows a person and until you don't know a person..how can you love or hate them? (that's what Faraa confesses no? that how could she hate Wali when she didn't even know him? she always only knew the version of him that was fed to her by people who ALSO didn't know him)

I am someone who was always fond of the story of Diyar e Dil. It's one of my favorite comfort reads by Farhat Ishtiaq. When it was announced that DeD was going to be adapted to screen, i was scared. not always does a book to screen adaptation does the story justice. however, DeD onscreen didn't disappoint. not only the script for TV added more layers and dimensions to the characters and situations, the STORY at its core remained intact. DeD was written always to give the lesson of how ego rots relationships. that while ego can give a temporary satisfaction it's the bonds that tie us which are our salvation. and to make bonds is to abandon the ego. Aga Jaan, Behroze, Ruhi, to an extent Faraa..it was their ego that made them stand on the precipice of disaster. Behroze lost his chance. AJ learned his lessons but not until he faced immense tragedy did he fully embrace it. Ruhi had to fall from the cliff into the mouth of tragedy to learn the lesson but she got rescued midway. And Faraa was lucky enough to learn it while she had the time and she stepped away from danger. I see DeD as a story like this. Hence, the flaws that it has become not wholly ignorable but they lose their ability to overpower the heart this story has. and the story has its heart in the right place.

maybe I am the odd one out here but I judge a drama (desi dramas more specifically) based on what it intends to be and how it presents those intentions. everything else is secondary. convince me on the intention and convince me that the methods chosen to present that intention are in tandem with each other and be very CLEAR about them - you'd have my attention. this works across all genres for me. I lose my interest when i see discrepancies in the intention and the presentation. which is why I have dropped shows after being hyped about them to the skies (Tere Bin/Pyari Mona) and which is why I have gotten back on board on shows that previously lost me (Yunhi). Diyar e Dil had the intention and presentation decided right from the beginning and it very clearly stayed on the path. did it have to rely on some plot conveniences? of course it did, it had no other choice (like for the longest time I was a staunch Moiz supporter and only until he fully showed his ugliness did i start to hate him...his villanness which seems obvious now in hindsight broke my heart {despite also knowing Moiz was a bad guy in the novel as well like wow ajeeb dimag chalta tha tab mera dkjaehakjsdhawea} but it was necessary for the plot so contrived it might be..i accepted it) would i like to change things about it? sure! which drama is so wholly satisfying that it leaves the audience with no ground to transform it? it's just that there's something so fulfilling about this story and how it's told that I keep coming back to it again and again even if its to say the same praises and air the same grievances again and again.

#diyar e dil #type: opinion #pakistani drama #i hope i was able to answer this ask completely #as you can see when it comes to DeD i LOVE to talk #and when I TALK i end up going idhar udhar and often lose the track of my thoughts #hence.....this. #edit to add: Faraa and Ruhi did have agency though. Ruhi chose her agency to abuse Faraa. Faraa chose her agency to go back to haveli. #an argument can be made that Faraa only went cuz of the contract and the promise of the divorce #but the show took its time to emphasize that Faraa went there because in her heart she WANTED to go there #Faraa remembering her father's words that between the head&heart..choose what your heart says #Faraa's heart yearned for her family..for her father..Faraa's heart was always soft towards AJ and it was that heart that made her take #the chance to be with him #had it been her head at play here she wouldn't have been so vulnerable with AJ within a few days of being with him #yehi baat toh Wali ki bhi samajh mein nahin arahi thi #and he had taunted her for being a good actor #FUCK I NEED TO START ON THE REWATCH ASAP #manhoos twt :@ #mood hi kharab kiya hua hai

[landonkirbyappreciation]

so I know everyone is happy about Handon being endgame in a weird way. But me as a Landon stan first and foremost, I can't be happy about Handon being endgame in anyway. Bc one they expect us to believe that Landon now sees limbo as his home even tho we spent the whole season seeing how much he hates being there. He still lost part of his soul and he can no longer feel anything anymore. And they even had him say that and had him say he knows he loves Hope. Knows, but he can't feel that love anymore. He can't feel anything anymore. And that doesn't sit right with me, it's never gonna sit right with me.

Sorry I just need it to vent a little.

I really don’t get how people are happy tbh? What kind of endgame is this anyway, they just get to see each other sometimes but can’t ever truly be together? And same, I’m first a Landon fan and I don’t understand how any real Landon fan can be happy with this. But wait I’ve not actually watched the episode, was that part of the episode with Landon seeing limbo as his home? I guess they’ve been implying that anyway, but it’s truly disgusting. Exactly, Landon wanted to escape and was trying to find a way out all season. Then they have him choosing to become the ferryman?! Which made absolutely no sense. And yeah, now he lost part of his soul and his emotions too. But oh he said he can’t feel his love for Hope?? I didn’t know that, I misunderstood from the spoilers I saw because I thought he could still feel his love for Hope and that was all he could feel. I— wow, okay that just makes it even worse. For sure, none of this sits right with me at all. It’s infuriating. Feel free to vent, I totally get it. I really don’t understand how they could end it like this?? How could they leave this unresolved? Couldn’t they at least have said something about how they were gonna find a way to fix Landon’s soul and bring him back? If they had just added one line that would give us hope that he would be okay and able to live his life with Hope one day, that would have made a big difference. But I didn’t see anything about them saying anything like that. I just... I can’t.

#answered #spoilers #4x20

[aquagustd]

Hi!!! as a response to the other anon who was saying something about how they wanted to see jk fold for oc just so sora can have the smirk wiped off her face… I honestly believe the whole reason she’s acting smug in front of oc at every opportunity in the first place is because she already knows oc has the ability to make him fold and not only that, it would be pretty easy for her to do it as well. And knowing this probably infuriates the shit out of her because in her mind she’s had to do so much shit and bend over backwards just to get jk to be hers, and even now he’s not really hers fully is he? Not with the conflicting feelings he has for oc now and the unresolved trauma between them both and the fact that oc and jk will always have special memories together, them being each other’s first love etc etc!! Idk if it’s really the case or not but her behaviour to me absolutely screams of overcompensation because she’s insecure about something. If she wasn’t she would have sat on the couch and ate the nachos like a normal human being instead of being like 💃🏼💃🏼💅🏽💁🏼‍♀️(this is her flipping her hair thinking anyone in the room actually gives a poop about her hickeys)

Also…. I have a theory/prediction that’s been weighing on my mind 🫣 I hope I’m remembering this correctly and I’m sorry if I’m not but I think you said that hie’s sequel will be about oc reconnecting with the person that she doesn’t end up with at the end of hie, and that it happens a few years after hie ends. and if that’s the case I honestly think it’s gotta be jk that she ends up with someway somehow IDK exactly how it would happen but knowing you I feel like you could write it and have it be 100% believable even though he’s incredibly frustrating and untrustworthy as a character right now!! The reason I think this is because if it were the other way around, and oc and tae end up together, that would mean jk would have to be out of touch with oc for the time period of years for them to be able to “reconnect” and I truly don’t see that happening with how involved they both want to be in junho’s life. Continuing to be a dad to junho inevitably means being in proximity to oc because there is no way oc would let jungkook take smiley and run off to somewhere for years I feel like hell would freeze over before she lets that happen and i also feel like jungkook despite abandoning junho once before would not by his own free will do it again. I think even though he’s not a very good partner he is genuinely trying to be a good dad. And with the way things are going in the story right now both oc and jk are trying to do what’s best for junho which is being as normal of a family unit as they can for his sake. Soooo idk IDK I may be way off the mark and you’re sitting here laughing at my theory because you have something completely different up your sleeve but I just wanted to get it out of my head and down somewhere!!

I really hope you don’t feel pressured or like I’m trying to squeeze any spoilers out of you j promise I’m not!! I just thought hmm that might be plausible and I wanted to share with you <3

everything you said about sora 👏🏻 she is insecure about something, & that something is the fact that she knows jungkook holds oc to a very high level and considering how sora & jk’s relationship started off, that’s gonna be sitting on her shoulders as long as oc is around. and she’s not gonna just sit and do nothing about it…that’s why she’s acting so smug, etc. deep down she knows she’ll never get 100% of jungkook. now the question is how deep does her hate run 🫣🥴

oof that’s a v good theory. tbh it can go either way with jungkook and taehyung. i don’t want to go into detail bc that would mean me spoiling the fic but jungkook can disappear. he did it before and he can do it again. we already know he leaves now and again. who’s to say he won’t leave for a prolonged period of time ?? he can keep in contact with junho but if he leaves, tae’s gonna be there & oc will have no reason to talk to jk unless it’s about junho, etc. so there is a possibility of jungkook leaving again & then reconnecting with oc after years.

also, your theory wasn’t bad at all !! no theory is a bad theory !! unless it strays too far from the plot 🥴 it is a v good theory. vv big brained and had me thinking and choosing my words carefully 🫣

#ty for sharing <3 #fic: hie #squishies #hie: theories