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duke-duke-the-cuc · 2 years

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The Paper (Book 2 of The Rock Trilogy): Part One: Flaming Homosexual

A year after that fateful boat party that resulted in the murder of John Mulaney, Leila and Claire receive a mysterious piece of paper. It is a dark and stormy night and the two friends are running back to Claire’s house from the park to take shelter from the storm when a soggy paper airplane cuts through the rain and hits Claire in the face.

“What the fuck?” Claire pauses briefly to pick up the paper, before they run the rest of the way to her house.

Once they’re in Claire’s living room, warm and dry with a Harry Styles song on in the background, they unfold the paper and read the words. The swirling black ink is un-smudged, spelling out words in Latin:

Secundum omnes leges notae

of aviation;

non est apis modo

si fugere possit.

Alae eius nimis parvae sunt ut

adipe corpusculo de terra.

Apis utique volat

quia apes non curamus

id quod homines putant esse impossibile.

Faciam vineam!

Leila and Claire speak the words aloud as they read it, trying their best to sound out the words. As soon as they’ve finished, the paper bursts into flames and crumbles to dust in their hands.

Before they have a chance to react, Lin Manuel Miranda appears in a great beam of light in front of them. He looks furious. “What have you done? This isn’t what I wrote!” The ground begins to violently shake beneath them. “You’ve unleashed a great evil. Now you must find out who it’s possessing and get rid of it.” Within seconds Lin Manuel Miranda vanishes into thin air and the two are alone again.

“Yes king, give us nothing,” Leila says to the empty space where Lin Manuel Miranda just was.

“Okay… How the hell are we supposed to find out who’s been possessed by a great evil?” Claire mutters.

Suddenly the shaking stops and the only noise that can be heard is a ding from a cellphone. Leila grabs her phone out of her pocket to see two Twitter notifications: a tweet from TMZ of photos of Harry Styles and Tony Stark kissing outside of a gay bar and another tweet from Harry himself coming out as gay. Harry’s tweet reads: ✨Hey gutter sluts🥰💅 its queen Harry👹😈 I'm comingI'm coming💦 out as a flaming homosexual🏳️‍🌈👹🤢❤️🥰🔥🔥✨ P.S. I’m bald lol🧑🏻‍🦲🤢🫥

Claire reads Leila’s phone over her shoulder. “Okay, so I think it’s safe to say that the demon is in Harry Styles?”

Leila nods, still in shock from the Twitter threads she had seen. “Wait, I thought Tony and Harry broke up after we killed Larry, and Harry rejoined One Direction.”

“Yeah, well, apparently they’re back together now, I guess,” Claire says. “We should reach out to - wait, I don’t think we ever got Tony or Harry’s contact info…”

“We have Taylor’s number, she knew Harry pretty well. Maybe she can help us?” Leila suggests, already dialing Taylor’s number. She presses call and puts it on speaker.

Taylor answers after the third ring and says immediately, “You’re calling about Harry’s tweet, aren’t you?”

“Yes, we are. We think he’s possessed by a great evil we accidentally unleashed,” Claire explains. “Can you help us find him?”

“I don’t know much, but I can put you in contact with Louis. He and Harry have been dating this past year,” Taylor tells them.

Once Claire and Leila get the information they need, they hang up the call. Eager to find more clues, the girls dial the number Taylor gave them, but they’re immediately sent to voicemail.

“Maybe we should text him first,” says Claire.

Leila begins to type out a message to Louis: Hey girly it’s Leila and Claire, we know Harry and we think he’s possessed :( call us back XO

The phone instantly rings. Frantically, Leila picks up.

“Wot do you know, bruv?” Louis says the second they answer.

They briefly explain how they know Harry and the last places they saw him. Then they tell Louis to meet them at the gay bar from the paparazzi photos, deciding on the spot that that’s where they’re going to check first.

After a quick google search, Claire and Leila arrive at the gay bar only to discover it’s more of a house. Inside, Millie Bobby Brown is singing Eddie’s Song on karaoke. “Eddie, baby, I just saw Steve -” she sings, then pauses when she sees them enter and shouts, “Hey! Welcome to my house!”

Leila turns to Claire and is happy to see that her friend’s expression mirrors her own confusion. They find Louis cheering wildly as Millie’s song ends and they go over to him. Harry is nowhere to be seen, so the three of them decide to split up and wander the bar asking people if they’ve seen him or have any idea where he went. Someone says they’re pretty sure they saw him go outside with Tony about an hour ago, so Leila, Claire, and Louis all head outside to search the acre of forest in the backyard.

“Wait a second,” Claire notices. “This forest looks super familiar.”

Leila looks at the nature surrounding them and the memories flood back. “This is where we were magically transported back when we got our powers from Tony!”

As if on cue, they turn through a line of trees and find themselves right in front of Harry Styles and Tony Stark making out against a tree, just like they had on that very first day.

Louis storms up to the pair and slaps Harry across the face. “You bloody cocksucking wanker! You-“ Before he can finish his sentence, Harry snaps his fingers and Louis collapses to the ground, out cold.

“Damn, he didn’t even get to call you a cheating slag,” Claire comments, having read Louis’s mind.

Harry turns to look at the girls and smirks. Not knowing what to do, the girls begin to run back inside the gay bar to buy them some time. They run into a random room and quickly lock the door behind them.

“Okay so we know it’s in him, now how do we get it out of him without killing him?” Leila breathes, winded from running.

“We could do an exorcism,” Claire suggests, also out of breath.

“I mean...wait, how would we even do that?” Leila questions.

“Well, I may or may not have the exorcism they use in Supernatural memorized,” Claire admits. “I don’t know if it would actually work, though.”

“Well we don’t really have much time and it’s worth a shot so why not.”

They nod in agreement and unlock the door. Hiding in a dark corner of the room, they wait for Harry to find them. It’s not long before the door knob turns easily and Harry’s evil laughter can be heard. The floors creak slightly as Harry walks into the room and shuts the door.

Claire immediately takes a deep breath and starts reciting, “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.”

Harry starts to screech inhumanly and a black smoke billows from his mouth. The smoke twists in the air before slipping through the cracked open window and disappearing. Harry crumples to the floor.

“Oh, wow.” Claire blinks in surprise. “I didn’t think that would actually work.”

“Well it worked in the sense that the evil is out of Harry…however now it could be in literally anybody,” Leila says.

“I mean, yeah, that’s how it worked in Supernatural too. They couldn’t actually kill the demons without, like, a special knife,” Claire explains.

“Well last I checked we don’t have that special knife.”

“Oh right. Shit.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

#the rock #harry styles #evil harry styles #tony stark #tony x harry #supernatural #crackfic #millie bobby brown #louis tomlinson #lin manuel miranda #taylor swift #demons

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avewritesmr · 3 years

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Stray kids reaction to y/k having tattoo sleeves? 🙏🏻 I’ve seen reactions where they specified a couple tattoos but I wanna know what their reaction would be with someone that has sleeves. Or wants to get more tattoos (; also could some of the settings be like on a date? Like during the stage where they’re getting to know y/k?) thnx 💓

Reaction to boyfriend who has a tattoo sleeve

A/N: So I only did three members (picked at random) to avoid this getting repetitive, I think I strayed a little off topic, not sure, but please let me know what you think of it anonie, I loved writing it, and I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write it, all the love and in hopes of having more time to write now that college application and decision time is coming to a wrap 💖

Seo Changbin (Implied NSFW Content)

y/n and Changbin meet on the coldest day of winter, it’s literally freezing and the entire city is basically iced over.

y/n is the new producer at JYP and it just so happens that Changbin is asked to work with y/n on a project.

At first Changbin is really skeptical, y/n is this quiet, kind of scary looking person and he communicates through glaring and frowning instead of words.

Then Changbin starts to slowly get to know him and things change, he finds out that y/n isn’t rude or scary and they get pretty close throughout the time they are working on the project.

When they are no longer work colleagues and the project is complete, Changbin works up the courage to ask y/n out on a date.

They don’t officially date or anything for a while, they go out together on a couple dates and hang out, they spend lots of time together and it is very obvious they are both basically in love with each other.

y/n doesn’t try to hide his tattoos or anything, Changbin’s seen a few of them, the one on the side of his neck and the ones on his wrists and knuckles but he’s never seen the whole thing.

Then one day they’re sitting in Changbin’s studio and somehow y/n spills an entire thing of iced coffee on himself and he’s only wearing a long sleeved shirt.

Changbin has a spare shirt from dance practice so he goes to grab it and in the meantime y/n pulls his dirty shirt off.

Changbin finds the shirt in a drawer and turns around to give it to y/n and he just freezes.

y/n doesn’t even notice him staring, he takes the shirt offered to him and slips it on going back to whatever he was doing before while poor Changbin stares on in shocked silence. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“You have so many tattoos.” Changbin mutters quietly.

y/n smiles slightly, “You don’t like them?”Changbin shakes his head quickly, he loves them, if he had wanted to kiss y/n before now he wants to jump the other man’s bones, he thinks they are hot and such a turn on.

y/n seems to understand as much and he goes out of his way after that to put them on display even though it’s still freezing outside.

Changbin isn’t complaining (at first), after a while he just finds himself staring at y/n’s tattoos, they aren’t even officially dating so he can’t just grab y/n’s arms and trace over the tattoos or ask the older to do anything to him.The whole thing leads to a lot of frustration on Changbin’s end and a lot of amusement on y/n’s.

“You know you can look at my tattoos if you want, you don’t need to look away every time I look in your general direction.”Changbin’s cheeks flare read but he hesitantly moves to sit closer to y/n and runs the tips of his fingers across one of the many tattoos.

“They’re so hot.” Changbin slaps a hand over his mouth as soon as the words leave it, y/n on the other hand finds this hilarious.

“Are they?” He is so close to Changbins face and his arm has moved to wrap around Changbin’s waist.Changbin remembers every thought he’s ever had about y/n’s hands and the tattoos and what he wants the older to do to him and he can see all the tattoos so close that it makes everything so much worse.

y/n’s smirk is enough to convince him to move towards the older and pull the other’s arm around his waist, he has no idea where the confidence comes from but at this point he has nothing to lose and he’s been fantasizing for way too long anyways.

Things end up so much better than he had every dreamed of and he has to concede that tattoos are the hottest thing ever, especially when they’re y/n’s and they stand out on white knuckles that hold Changbin’s hips down.

Hwang Hyunjin

Hyunjin loves tattoos, he thinks they're cool and the moment JYP lets him get a tattoo (I am not sure if he already has a tattoo tbh) he is getting a tattoo because tattoos are just so cool.

So why doesn't Hyunjin know that his boyfriend (of like 4 months) has enough tattoos to cover 90% of the skin on his right arm? Simple, answer.

y/n is an idol, he isn't aloud to show his tattoos on national television, and since a lot of his initial interactions with

Hyunjin had been backstage at music shows...

music shows = no tattoos being shown.

So let's go back to the beginning to get a clear picture

Hyunjin and y/n first meet at a music show backstage, Hyunjin has heard of y/n but he hasn't really seen pictures of the other that often and now he is face to face with probably the most attractive person he has met in a long time.

y/n is leaning against a wall in the hallway outside the bathroom in a beautifully tailored suit and Hyunjin, who is walking out of the bathroom, is completely enamored by this man that he might know the name of but can't be sure.

person walks past Hyunjin and y/n shoves his phone into his pocket talking happily to said person before they disappear down the hallway.

Detective Hyunjin mode = activated.

His detective work involves a quick google search to identify what group y/n is in and confirm his name, turns out he was right about the name and so he spends the next 2 hours of waiting before he has to preform just scrolling through pictures and tweets about y/n.

He resolves that day that he needs to talk to the other no matter what it takes, he just needs y/n's number.

His first plan is to recruit Jisung and Jeongin's help because they tend to find talking to new people easier and maybe he won't be as awkward if he talks to y/n with other people present.

This plan falls through very quickly because instead of helping all Jeongin and Jisung do is laugh at him.

He turns to his second (and last) plan.

Lee Minho is 2 months older than y/n, so maybe by some stroke of luck Minho knows y/n, or someone in his group, and Hyunjin can maybe convince Minho to help him start a conversation with the other.

Hyunjin is in luck, not only is Minho more empathetic about his hardships than Jisung and Jeongin but he just so happens to know y/n well enough to be able to walk up to him and strike up conversation.

Hyunjin follows Minho with gradually decreasing confidence. Sure he is going to get the chance to talk to y/n, which is what he wanted, but what the hell is he going to say?

Should he just ask for the others number?

Just introduce himself and maybe y/n will ask for his number? Maybe he can just turn around now and run away before this gets particularly embarrassing for him?

Maybe the floor underneath him will open up and swallow him whole because good lord y/n just smiled in his general direction and why are there so many people in this area at this specific time?

Turns out y/n wasn't smiling specifically at him, he was smiling more at Minho.

"This is Hyunjin, he wanted to tag along."

"Hey, I'm y/n, it's nice to meet you." Maybe his smile will kill Hyunjin before he remembers how to talk.

"uhh-hh, yes I know, I- uh, Hyunjin." God why was that so awkward someone save him, where did Minho walk off to? who is that? why did he take Minho away from him?

"Are you okay?"

"yeah, yeah, I am good." god he needed salvation right now.Basically, Hyunjin is awkward and nervous and he feels like the first meeting is a complete disaster and y/n will never talk to him again.

Somehow though y/n decided he isn't pitiful enough to ignore and walk away from, it takes a bit of prodding and joking on y/n's part for Hyunjin to relax a little and they hold a decent conversation. When Minho informs Hyunjin they have to head back y/n is typing his number into Hyunjin's phone and urging him to send a text whenever.

y/n and Hyunjin talk often after that, they meet again just a little over a week later backstage at a music show again and decided that they should take the risk and start dating.

They're moving a little quickly true, but, they can learn more about each other as time goes on.

Neither one of them is necessarily free at any one point in time, they see each other at a few events but their dating is limited to talking over the phone and basically texting all the time.

And then the day comes.

Hyunjin has the day off and y/n has wrapped up a photo shoot, the timing is perfect, the managers are okay with it and Hyunjin is buzzing with excitement because it's been almost 4 months and he is going to go to his boyfriend now.

They decide to meet at y/n's empty dorm just to be in each others presence.

So Hyunjin is standing outside the dorm door waiting for y/n to let him in and he is just shaking with happiness.

So when y/n opens the door with his hair a little messy and no make up on, Hyunjin's first instinct is to launch himself at the other and hug him as tightly as he can.

They might not have been able to see each other these last four months but that doesn't mean Hyunjin hasn't learned enough about the other to love him.

y/n only laughs and pulls him into the dorm hugging back with a soft smile on his face.

Hyunjin is so busy hugging y/n that he doesn't see the tattoos covering y/n's right arm.

He doesn't see them in fact until after he's been ushered into y/n's room and is about to head towards the cat laying under the window.

He turns around to ask y/n about the cat's name and then freezes because holy mother of all beings is that a tattoo sleeve?

"Yeah, is it a problem?"

"A problem? god no!" Hyunjin moves closer to war his fingers around y/n's arm and raise it so he can inspect the intricate designs.

"They look so cool, this just makes me want a tattoo even more." y/n laughs, "I can take you to get one." Hyunjin looks up with starry eyes.

"Management would kill, but I don't really care anymore."

"Maybe you should get it okayed before you do anything?"

"If they try to kill me you'll come riding in on a motorbike and wearing a leather jacket and save me." Hyunjin replies with a serious face.

y/n laughs, "That is just a stereotype, my mom would kill me if I got on a motorbike."So what did Hyunjin learn today?

He definitely wants a tattoo and wouldn't mind getting yelled at by management for getting one behind their back. He wants y/n to go with him because this man is an expert and if anyone (y/n included) disagrees then Hyunjin will be inclined to fight them.

y/n is 100% a mama's boy and Hyunjin is living for it (Another one of his life sources at this point in time is y/n's tattooed arm wrapped around his waist but he doesn't want to discuss those emotions just yet).

Yang Jeongin (I.N)

So y/n’s a barista at a cafe and that is how Jeongin meets him first, it is late summer, the uniform for the cafe workers is a button down white shirt so even though it is 35 degrees (Celsius) out Jeongin never sees y/n in anything but his work uniform which is a long sleeve button down white shirt.

After 2 months of (not really) subtle crushing Jeongin asks y/n for his phone number, they chat for a few days and then go on their first date in early October.

The date is a sweet, cliche outing, Jeongin is a blushing mess 90% of the time and y/n treats him with so much care. Dates aren’t that frequent after the first one but just before winter Jeongin and y/n make it official.

At this point it is so cold that there is never a moment for Jeongin to see y/n without a coat, hoodie or long sleeved shirt, so he lives a life of blissful ignorance for almost a month.

And then one day he is sitting at the counter in the cafe, y/n is just finishing his shift and Jeongin is waiting for him.

The manager walks by and tells y/n to clean up before he hands over to the next person and so y/n moves to the sink and rolls up his sleeves.

Jeongin isn’t really paying attention, he’s a little focused on his phone, but then he looks up.

😯 = Yang Jeongin when he saw y/n’s tattoos.

“Your face literally just derailed.”

“I didn’t know you had tattoos.”

“Well you didn’t really ever get a chance to see them.” Silence.

“I am sorry I probably should have told you before this.”Jeongin doesn’t respond to that, he doesn’t know how to, so he sits in silence contemplating the situation, while y/n finishes up. When they walk out of the cafe it is in strained silence, Jeongin doesn’t like it at all.

“Can I see them?”

“Sure, let’s go sit somewhere.”They end up on a park bench, y/n with his sleeves rolled up and Jeongin carefully tracing the ink covering y/n’s arm his eyes widened in awe.

“What’s the meaning behind thisone?”

“Nothing really, I got it because I thought it looked nice.”Jeongin laughs lightly and goes back to studying the tattoos on y/n’s arm, now that he is over the initial shock of discovering the tattoos he is enraptured by them.

He’ll probably stare at them whenever y/n wears something short sleeved, or rolls up his sleeves.

He genuinely thinks they are really cool and thinks his boyfriend is like a million times cooler with them.

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 3 years

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Here’s another thought based off this blurb I wrote.

Reader Insert.

CW: Smut adjacent.

_________________

You’re just on the couch, feet propped up on the edge of the coffee table still scrolling through TikTok. Calum’s taken resident up in your lap, head resting on your thighs and his phone is preoccupying him too. That TikTok keeps coming back to your head, the sudden change from the soft voice over to Corpse’s voice. It looks some lurking, and lots of Googling on how to actually make a TikTok, but in the search you come up with a plan. It in some part requires Calum to trust you.

“Babe?” you start, running your fingers through his hair.

“Yeah?”

“Can I make a TikTok of you?”

He looks up, tearing his gaze from his phone. “What-what you are you thinking about?”

“Using the same sound off the same video I showed you. Just tickles, really,” you say.

“God, I hate tickles. But sure, I guess.”

You kiss his nose, “Thanks, babe.”

“Do I need to do anything?”

“Nah, just say comfy,” you encourage, kissing his forehead.

He nods, turning his head just a little to kiss at your tummy. “I can do that.” As the countdown starts, you drag your fingers over his scalp. The song plays and your fingers move into his armpits and he giggles. His natural reaction is to squeeze his arms to his side. It ultimately keeps your hand trapped but you laugh just a little at his response.

As the bass drops and Corpse’s voice filters through, you’re able to wriggle your hand free and slide it over his chest. He settles, peering up at you to see if you’re done. In this action, you’re able to slip your hand up to his throat and give it a small squeeze. The surprise isn’t missed as Calum gasps for just a second before a tiny tiny moan escapes him. His eyes flutter for just a moment. You’re positive the audio is done by now but you do lean down to press a kiss to his lips.

Calum’s not one to usually submit, but it’s there. He does like to be taken care of sometimes and it tends to happen when things get stressful with work or when he’s got a lot on his plate. And it’s not that he can’t take care, it’s not like he can’t take care of things, but sometimes it’s have someone else do it. It’s nice to have someone else please him.

And truth be told, the action should shock him. He should recoil given that you just tickled him, but there’s a gleam in your eyes when you leaned into him. You looked so proud to see him respond that way, to see him trust you, so he pull himself into a seating position and cups your cheek. “You didn’t tell me that was part of the bit.”

You’re acutely aware to save the draft, but your phone is the last of your worries. “Wanted it to be a surprise.”

The distance between you two is short, and grows even shorter as you push up and Calum leans in. His nose brushes over yours. “Considered me surprised.” The pad of his thumb strokes your cheek before he drags his whole palm down and cups your throat in return.

You push forward to seal his mouth in a kiss, peeling his hand away from your flesh. The kiss is short before you pull away. “I don’t think you get to call the shots right now, baby.”

Calum can only let out a shaky exhale as you kiss over the side of his neck, “Okay.”

Calum’s head rests on your chest, the blanket draped on the back of the couch thrown over the both of you. His fingers trace over your sides slowly. Your fingers are scratching over his scalp. “Do you remember if we got Oreos last trip to the store?” you ask quietly. Your fingers move down to the muscle of his back, scratching just a little at the flesh.

“We did. But I can’t say any is left,” he laughs, sitting up. “Which might entirely be my fault, but that’s neither here nor there.” He redresses but drapes the blanket back over you, even goes as far as to tuck the ends around you.

“I am not prisoner to the couch,” you tease.

“You must certainly are.” While Calum checks the kitchen for Oreos, you redress mostly but rewrap yourself in the blanket.

“Huzzah, a full sleeve is left,” Calum declares from the kitchen and then rushes back into the living room. He plops down behind you, resting the package in your lap. You feed him the first one and the voice from the TV surround the two of you. The two of you enjoy the sleeve and then eventually move into the bedroom to wash up and retire under the sheets.

The next morning when you check your phone, as you open the Twitter app your notifications are absolutely flooded. You check to see what happened. Normally, there’s a tweet about you here and there, but you turned off notifications just in general to be safe. But you still checked it periodically. As the tweet loads, you pull your brows down into confusion. Didn’t know they got it on like THAT!

When you scroll up in the chain, you spy the TikTok. You could’ve sworn you had only saved the draft not published it. But when you change to the TikTok app, you realize at the top of your profile is the video. “Holy shit.” You climb out of bed and scurry to find Calum. You’re already trying to get your fingers to stop shaking so you can delete the video. But at this point it is too late, you realize. “Babe?” you call out into the house. “Babe?!”

“Outside,” comes his reply and you spin around and hurry down to the open backyard doors.

“Babe, I’m so sorry,” you rush out.

Calum takes in the panic in your eyes and how your phone is wobbling in your hand. “Hey, hey, whatever it is, we’ll work through it, okay?” But all you can seem to do is just apologize. He nods, guiding you into his chest and rubs his hand up and down your back. “Ssh, take a deep breathe.”

“I-I thought the video was just a draft,” you say more but it gets slightly muffled as you press your face deeper into his skin.

Calum can deduce the problem though. “But you published it by accident?” he asks. You nod. “And I can only assume it only took a matter of time before fans found it huh?” You give another nod.

A sigh leaves his chest and you pull back, “I-I deleted it once I found out and it’s a throwaway account. It’s not even my face as the profile picture you know? I-I thought I was being safe.”

“Shit happens,” Calum returns, using his fingers to wipe away the tears. “It’s out there now. What else can we do?”

“I’m so sorry.”

He kisses your forehead. “I accept your apology. Let’s get some waffles, want waffles?”

You’re not sure how Calum can be so calm about this. “You’re-you’re not mad. After everything?”

“You posting something by accident isn’t the same, okay? Besides, that video is the most harmless thing that’s come out. You know, none of us are saints, nor do we pretend to be saints.” He shrugs. “Besides, what a way to confirm a relationship, you know?”

The two of you had been dating for a while, two years and some change. You had popped up occasionally in an Instagram posts and you two got spotted here and there hanging out. But you were pretty good at keeping your face hidden or turned away from paps when you could spot them. One picture of your face had surfaced, really early on. But not much since then.

Of course, the fans still speculated after all these years that you two were still together but neither you or Calum had done anything to confirm it. It didn’t bother you, you kinda liked the secrecy. It was easier to ignore the occasional tweet about your relationship but most fans had a feeling nothing would ever really be said.

Until now.

And sure, Calum is right on some front. You can’t really do anything about it now. The video is out and no doubt making its rounds. “I’m just going to delete the account, but yes to waffles.”

“If you want to, then I won’t stop you. But really I’m not mad.”

You take a moment to look at him, study his gaze. It’s steady, he looks more concerned than anything else. “Sorry,” you say one last time. It’s clear that there’s not much else that he can say that will ease your fear.

He presses another kiss to forehead, rubbing his hands over your arms. “Let’s go get dressed and eat waffles.”

You nod and it finally dawns on you that Calum had been out with Duke and you spy him laying your and Calum’s feet, completely content to stretch out the rest of the day. You kiss Calum’s cheek and then pick up Duke to nuzzle your nose into his fur. “Oh, buddy, bath time soon for you,” you laugh, but Duke just nuzzles into you.

You settle onto the edge of the bed and Duke rests on your lap. You delete the TikTok account. There’s thousand of tweets it seems, so many comments and you can only imagine that Instagram is going to look the same so you take point not to look at it and to stop looking at Twitter as well. It’s not going to do anything good for you at this point.

As you pull clothes from the dressers and closet, Calum returns to the bedroom. He walks pass you but takes a moment to squeeze your elbow three times. You turn to watch him disappear into the attached bathroom but smile just a little. Three squeezes, always a way to say I love you without necessarily saying it. You two use it most often when you and Calum go out into public, or at parties. Two squeezes means let’s go/there’s a problem. But three, and no more than three is your secret way to say I’m always there with you and for you.

The car ride is quiet, but you hold Calum’s hand like always. It’s easy enough to slip into the breakfast diner. You pick at the corner of the napkin the utensils are wrapped in. The waiter is quick to get your orders. But you’ve stayed silent still. “Look, if waffles don’t fix this, I will go to extreme measures,” he teases after trying to gain your attention.

You roll your eyes, but smile. “God, let’s not do that either.”

He laughs and takes your hand. “I mean, I would always go to the extreme measures for you.”

“Thanks.” The waitress comes back around to refill your water glasses and assure you your food will be coming out soon. “Wanna go to Lowe’s after this? Still gotta find materials for those shelves in your music room.”

He nods. “Yeah we can check them out. But if you stop me from buying my string of pearls, I will riot.”

“I want one just as much as you do, but we need a place for it first.”

“Nonsense. No plan. Just buy.”

Your food is brought out a couple of minutes later and the waffles do make you feel a little bit better, but right in the back of your head is the morbid curiosity to check what is happening on social media. You struggle against it continue to eat on. The sun’s a little brighter as you and Calum leave the diner. You keep your head down and walk a little behind him, but he reaches back, wiggling his fingers for you.

“You sure?” you whisper.

“What are paps going to get now that’s news?” There’s a devilish grin on his face and you give in, catching up and taking his hand. You’re pretty sure you can spot a pap or two but you don’t think too much about it as you stride side by side with Calum.

In the Lowe’s you keep close to Calum, finding the right size planks that would be needed. He drags you over to the plants and allow yourself to be dragged over. “You’re the one that got me hooked on this. This is your fault,” he teases. And you’ll admit it is kinda your fault. You wanted to bring in a few house plants, which Calum admitted to avoiding because he wasn’t home a lot. Though you weren’t sure how that logical applied to a dog, but never the less, your interest in house plants has rubbed off on Calum.

You steer the pallet around with the planks you’re going to use for the shelves, long with the brackets and screws. You might’ve taken over a corner if the garage with some power tools and a small saw for some home projects you’ve wanted to take on. And so now, you tend to take up to some handy projects around the house and Calum’s always there to help hold whatever you need him to hold.

“There are already three plants on this things, let’s slow down,” you tease.

“Never,” he replies, placing another one down. “Kitchen window?”

You nod. “Sounds good to me.”

When you two get home, you unload the planks into the garage and Calum finds his gardening gloves to move the plants into some pots. You watch him settled onto the steps that lead up from the garage into the house, gently pat some extra soil around the plant. “Want some help repotting?”

“It’s only two more,” he returns but does look up pushing his lips out for a kiss. You laugh and kiss him but check the soil on two he’s finished potting to see if they need water. “Can you add a little water to that first one for me?”

“Of course.” It’s not long before you add a little water to the plant and you settle in front of him, snapping a photo of the concentration on his face. It’s slightly obstructed by the baseball cap, but you angle it well enough.

“Cutie,” you whisper and pinch his cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he laughs. The last plant potted, he turns his attention back to you. “How’s it going? You okay now?”

You shrug. “Better, I guess. Still feel bad.”

“That’s valid. It’s okay if you still feel bad. But all in all, we’re okay. If you’re worried.” You nod, fingers rubbing over leaves gently. “Check my Instagram.” That’s all he says before turning around and head inside with one of the plants.

You stay seated and pull up the platform. When you find Calum’s profile, you a new post. It’s a series, indicated by the white square icon in the top right corner. The first one is hardly a photo of you from years ago but the other two in it are more recent, the last actually a video of you struggling to get some of the planks from the display in Lowe’s. Calum’s voice floats through your speaker and the camera bounces a little as he moves in to help. “Let me help. You’re going to kill yourself trying to do all that by yourself,” he laughs.

“In my will, I will leave you everything then,” you counter and hoist the plank up.

The video is still rolling and captures you grinning as you pointing just off screen, “To plants for my good sir?”

He giggles. “To plants!” and the video ends.

Here’s a very short collection of two years and 3 and a half months, reads the caption and that’s all.

“Calum,” you call out, grabbing the string of pearls and head inside. He shuffles to a stop having been coming around the corner. “I love you. Your post is sweet. Now where do we locate the newest plant baby?”

“Kitchen window. Other will are going in the office.” You go to step past him but he squeezes your elbow-- three times.

#calum hood #Calum Hood blurb #Calum Hood smut #Calum Hood smut adjacent #h writes #Calum Hood fanfic #Calum Hood imagine #Calum Hood x reader #Calum Hood x reader insert #5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos image

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cotccotc · 3 years

Text

SKZ REACT to...

✰ you coming out PART 2 !!

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon ♡ )

genre/s: ot8 reaction headcanon, gn reader, platonic, fluff & humor

wc: ~1.3k

warning/s: descriptions of coming out as non-binary, brief mentions of gender dysphoria, my dumb commentary once again (hehe), these are just my opinions and ideas !!

a/n: i reference the first version of this reaction a few times and i recommend reading it first !! i got some really sweet responses to the original so i hope y’all like this one too :) OH ALSO i should mention that i decided to make it platonic since i found that easier and more natural to write.

✰ CHAN

i feel like even if he already knows a bunch about gender identity, non-binary and genderqueer people, dysphoria, pronouns, etc. he would definitely enjoy you giving him a full rundown on it !! and specifically what your interpretation is and how you identify

BEST LISTENER EVER !!!

do you remember that vlive where felix is talking and chan’s just sitting back and looking at felix with immense amounts of love in his eyes? yeah…

he’d be so. incredibly. proud. of you.

idk why the chan portions of these reactions have both been super sappy but anyways-

he’d be very dedicated to using your preferred pronouns and finding new ways to compliment you !!!

his google search history would most definitely include “genderless adjectives” and “enby dad jokes” and he’d keep a running list on his phone

chan: “what do you say when your non-binary friend is sad?”

you: [dead silence]

chan: “their, their....” [giggles]

KSDFJ

✰ MINHO

my first thought is that he’d be the type to ask for your new pronouns and immediately use them in a sentence.

for instance, say your new pronouns were xe/xem. he’d immediately say, “well, i’m very proud of my y/n, and i love xem very much.”

so then i’d start crying in the background.. blah blah blah omniscient narrator struggles :’)

i can’t see him being anything but casual and accepting !!

if you want to talk about things, he’ll most definitely let you, but if you don’t want to he won’t push.

but regardless, he just wants you to know he supports you in whatever way he can.

would also politely correct people if they misgender you in public !!! he wants you to feel safe !!!!!

i saw him as a wingman in the other reaction but in this context he’d definitely serve as your personal information pamphlet for people who you might not know too well.

random person: “what exactly does that mean?”

you: “it-”

minho: “WELL ACTUALLY-”

✰ CHANGBIN

just like in the first version, he’d get pretty emotional !!

i think he would really sympathize with you even though he can’t fully understand what you had to deal with externally or emotionally.

honestly that would probably make him even MORE emotional.

the fact that he can’t fully relate to those complex feelings would really tug at his heartstrings as he listens to you speak. he really wishes he could understand your struggles more, and maybe even take on the burden for you.

but let’s get less emo, shall we?

ok picture something with me bestie:

first, he casually refers to you using your new pronouns in a group conversation.

next, after the topic changes in the conversation, you look at him while the others continue talking.

this mf WINKS and flashes you the silliest smirk

you let out a little chuckle and you both continue on in the conversation

[end scene]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anyways-

✰ HYUNJIN

i feel like he might question his own gender identity a little as well sometimes, especially due to what people say online (like calling him “pretty”, the edits some people make, praising him for breaking stereotypes, etc.)

so, he probably understands a bit deeper than some of the other members might.

in that same vein, i think it might make him a little bit emotional to hear your story !!

over the years, i think it’s plain to see that he’s become more comfortable with expressing his more feminine attributes, which has always comforted you as his friend.

he understands the feeling of being uncomfortable with the gender roles one is expected to follow, so he empathizes with you.

in terms of his actual first reaction, i think it would be pretty similar to what i suggested in the other version of this.

(my bias is showing but oH MY GOSH I STILL THINK THIS WOULD BE SO CUTE-)

“woo~” *insert little jazz hands here*

…

[cries] anyways-

you feel really comfortable coming to him with this, and you’re happy when you do !!

✰ JISUNG

maybe it’s because i’ve seen tweets about it, but i feel like this dude knows everything there is to know about modern gender identity topics and neopronouns and stuff

after the initial awkwardness of the conversation (and a big supportive hug ofc) he’d be stoked to talk about it !!

would ask for your pronouns right away !!! he might also do the thing where he uses them in a sentence.

“y/n !!! ze’s so cool !!!!!!!”

i think if he saw someone misgender you (by accident) he wouldn’t correct them for you out of in-the-moment nerves, but he’d be very proud of you if you do it yourself !!

might buy you a snack afterward tbh

but if HE ever misgenders you OHHHHH goodness gracious

HE WOULD FEEL SOOO BAD AH

EVEN IF IT’S LIKE.. THE NEXT DAY

he’d get so very embarrassed and apologetic SDKFJ you’d have to really assure him that it’s not that big of a deal since he’s still adjusting to things, but he’d still feel like he has to make it up to you in some way

would probably buy you snacks again LMAO

✰ FELIX

i think he would be really excited !!

we know felix really loves and is passionate about androgynous/genderless forms of expression, especially in regard to appearance, so he’d probably really enjoy talking about gender and stereotypes with you !!

(if you’re comfy with it, ofc)

honestly, felix would be really encouraging and would help you gain more confidence !!!!!

if you ever feel like trying out a new look, he’d be like “OK BESTIE LET’S GO SHOPPING”

tbh he’d probably try it out with you !! or if you hang out often, he’d probably subconsciously start finding inspiration in your style and adopt it a bit himself

on days where you feel a bit down for whatever reason, especially in regard to dysphoria, his first instinct would be to cheer you up by reminding you how unique and cool you are.

and it’s not just because you’re nonbinary but also because you’re just a super cool person !!!!!!!!!! and i think so too !!!!!!!!!!!! never forget it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so overall, i feel like felix wouldn’t be very hard to come out to once you get over your initial nerves, and the end result would be super fun :D

✰ SEUNGMIN

i think his initial reaction would be pretty similar to chan’s !!

he also seems like the type to be super, super diligent with adjusting to whatever pronouns you feel comfortable using or words you’re okay with him using to refer to you.

(maybe it’s because we know he was a good student and he’s diligent with practicing his english. training his brain to correct itself would be like studying for him lol)

for example, instead of calling you “pretty” or “handsome,” he might even try simply pointing out a part of your appearance that he thinks looks especially great !! something like your eyes, your hair, your outfit, etc.

your hair looks great today, btw. anyways-

aside from that, i think he would just try to be as courteous as possible without making a big deal out of things.

and if he ever slips up with your pronouns, descriptors, etc, he’d be super quick to apologize and correct himself before keeping the conversation going like normal !!

there’s just generally a lot of mutual respect all around :)

✰ JEONGIN

this is somewhat similar to my other version of this reaction, but i think he’d just be really intrigued and a little shocked

IDK WHY I KEEP THINKING HIS ABILITY TO GAUGE THESE THINGS IS SO BAD DKFJ every time i think about someone coming out to him i just can’t help but picture him being like “reaLLY??? since WHEN”

still, something deep within my soul is telling me that jeongin would truly think you’re the coolest person on the planet.

being as he can’t personally relate to this, jeongin would be pretty psyched to hear about your journey to finding out !! kinda the opposite reaction to changbin lol

honestly he’d be a super good listener !!!!

he’d hear you out for however long you explain things to him, and if you ever get a bit emotional, he might smile at you or reach out to hold your hand :’) or both :’’’’’)

then, when you tell him your preferred pronouns he’s like “oH okay !! coOL !!!” lmao

so, he understands the concept and is super happy for you but he just didn’t really expect it !!

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries,@kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos,@kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @moonlit-lixie, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @sunshine-skz ( join my tag list !! )

#districtninewriters #inkidz #skzwritersclub #straykidsland #fluffyskzclub #*8 #*fics #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #skz ot8 #stray kids ot8 #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #skz fluff #stray kids fluff

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itsfunorwhateva · 3 years

Text

Pink Shoelaces

1**I WANT TO START BY SAYING I KNOW THIS IS A REACH BUT ITS SOMETHING IVE BEEN THINKING AND RESEARCHING SO HERE IT IS***

So by now we have all seen Harry’s crusty vans, but has everyone noticed the one pink shoelace that is in his vans?

(Here’s some pictures below if you don’t know what I’m talking about. )

I know I’ve seen it. This got me thinking, does that pink shoelace mean anything. We know our dear Harold is not new to leaving clues, and hidden messages in things he does. All you need is a listen to his music, a peek at the custom pants from his Vogue shoot, or the multiple custom Louis blue items he seems to have an avidity for. So, the pink shoelace had to be an intentional decision, I mean Harry fans have been buying vans authentics and adding a pink shoelace, but only because of the man himself, so why did Harry do it? I did a quick google search of “symbolism of pink shoelaces” and “do pink shoelaces mean anything” but I came up empty handed, well except one thing, a song on an album, labeled no other than “Pink Shoelaces” by Dodie Stevens. Now there isn’t much there, since I couldn’t draw any set connections between Harry and Dodie, but still there is more to unpack here. The only thing that I’ve been able to sorta of connect Dodie Stevens to Harry is Stevie Nicks as both women were born within two years of each other and were releasing music around the same time(1959-1960 for Dodie, and 1971 and beyond for Stevie). No public meetings between the two unfortunately. Dodie Stevens’ album, Pink Shoelaces, has some very interesting song titles. Some include, “Am I Too Young To Love”, “To Know Him is to Love Him”, “Just A Dream”, “Pink Shoelaces”, and now stay with me “Too Young”. Now even these song titles seem to point in a very specific direction for Harry, erm Louis, but that not even the most shocking thing.

Let’s look into some lyrics of the aforementioned songs. First up is “Just a Dream”.

“Just a dream, just a dream (Just a dream) All our plans and all our schemes (All our schemes) How could I think you'd be mine (You'd be mine) Those lies I'd tell myself each time I know that this could never last (Never last) It didn't seem to in the past (In the past) Just a dream I dream in vain (Dream in vain) With you I'd only live in pain”

I mean some pretty raw emotion here. Wanting to be with someone so bad but it seems it only happens in your dreams, that doesn’t sound familiar at all. Now most of these songs connect to Louis’ discography. And this song especially “Too Young”. The lyrics, “Oh, I can't believe I gave in to the pressure When they said a love like this would never last” wow that sounds really similar to our song by Dodie, now doesn’t it.

Next song “Am I Too Young To Love”

“Am I too young? Too young, too young to love? Someone please help me Someone above”

Now I wonder what I’m going to connect this one too. Maybe a song by one of our favorites, Mr. Louis Tomlinson. I don’t think I need to explain how these two songs connect with each other, since quite literally both mention and discuss being too young for love.

Next Song “To Know Him is to Love Him”

“Everyone says there'll come a day When I'll walk alongside of him“

“To know, know, know him Is to love, love, love him Just to see him smile Makes my life worthwhile“

This song really hurts me if Harry actually has listened to it. Everyone says there’ll come a day when I’ll walk alongside him, those lyrics hurts when they are connect to Harry. Was the intended purpose to discuss closeting, probably not, but the parallels are there and pretty obvious. Next, the smile lines. We know how smiley Louis would get when Harry was simply looking at him. And if you look up creepy love stare I’m sure you’ll find so picture of Larry where they are both so obviously in love that they just have a smile on their faces.

Next Song “Pink Shoelaces”

“He's my guy and I love him truly ... But I'm wild about his crazy clothes”

I see this song more of Louis’ pov about Harry. But nonetheless it can show their relationship and how they both love each other so much. The crazy clothes line I just thought was fitting for Mr. Styles and all the amazing clothes he has in his closet.

Ok, Last Song “Too Young

“They try to tell us we’re too young

too young to really be in love”

if this song and where I’m going with it isn’t obvious omg. Anyways Louis song, Too Young, which we all know is about Harry, because who else, not eleanormegirlfriend, for sure.

Ok, so now I’ve broken down the songs, and explained every lyrics that I think connects Harry and Louis through this pink shoelace. You’re probably not convinced, because a shoelace is a pretty silly hint, and if it took this long to look into it couldn’t be right. Well these next picture might help convince you a bit.

Yeah, you see that little face in the big red circle, that looks awfully similar to the smiely face Louis uses for everything, from concerts, to merch, down to the fact it is tattooed on his body. This new evidence is what really help nail down my theory. Now Harry had gone out in public with a pink shoelace a lot, fans picked up on it but no one talked about if it was a hint, because why would we? So Harry added another message onto those same shoes (I think they are the same pair, just no more pink shoelace) in hope that maybe this time we would pick up on it. Fans have been questioning why Harry would continue to wear gross dirty vans out in public all the time, well maybe it was so we could pick up on his subtle hint that hey this is for Louis even if Harry couldn’t say so.

Ok last part to really support this theory.

Yeah, I think most larries are pretty aware of this tweet. However most people connect it with Louis’ upside down triangle tattoo that he has on his ankle. So my thoughts are what if the pink shoelace, and face on the vans is to tell Harry by his ankles. Harry having something directly on his ankles that references Louis/Larry might be too suspicious, so maybe Harry settled for the next best thing, shoes. I mean shoes are close enough to the ankle to still connect the two.

I really hoped this made sense and once again I’m going to say this is a HUGE reach, which I understand. But it’s something that I thought one day and honestly couldn’t stop thinking about, especially because fans know Harry is one to leave little hints like this throughout what he does. So let me know what you think and TPWK xx

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #louis and harry #larry stylinson #larry is life #theories #pink shoelace #one direction #larry is love #larry is real

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blueeyedgeorgie · 4 years

Text

Pretty Boy-A.E

“There’s always stories about *Person* helping reader through insecurities, but could we maybe switch that around? Can we get a fic where reader helps Alex through his insecurities? He’s been tweeting and saying he feels ugly for the past couple weeks and it breaks my heart and I just want to comfort him.”

Pairing: ImAllexx x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k+

______________

"Hurry up, or I'll unpause the movie!" Today was Netflix day. When Netflix day would come around, Mia and Y/n would find a day they were both free just to binge-watch something together. Will would always get jealous of Y/n stealing Mia away some days. "She's my girlfriend, Y/n!" Will whined over Y/n's phone. "She's my friend, Will!" Y/n copied Will's whining, "I'm one of the reasons you two met each other." "I wanna spend time with my girlfriend too," Will continued to whine. "You spend plenty of time with her, It's just one day every few weeks," Y/n let out a sigh. "Fine, I'll talk to you later," Will let out a huff. "Alright, See you," Y/n only let out a small chuckle as she hit the 'end call' button. E.T was paused on the TV, Mia had needed to use the bathroom, giving Y/n a moment to herself. It had been a while since Y/n last checked her social medias, so of course she found herself opening up Twitter as she waited for her friend to come out of the bathroom. Y/n didn't expect much to show up in her feed, maybe a few funny tweets from her friends, but that was about it. As she scrolled, a few tweets appeared from Alex. 'just gonna stand there and watch willne sleep.' 'What the fuck is #babyimallexx and why is it a thing.' It was always easy to let out a laugh from Alex's tweets, Y/n had always found him funny. As Y/n continued to scroll, a few more tweets of Alex's appeared on her phone. 'I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted and have finally caved in and am looking for someone to do part time editing work, if anyone has any friends or know of somebody who can replicate my style please dm me or email me. Thanks in advance.' Emotionally and mentally exhausted? There was no possible way for that to be a good sign. Y/n cared about Alex deeply, they had been friends since forever. They had met through Mia and Will. After a couple of months of getting closer and closer, Alex had told Y/n about how he had suffered from anxiety. Anxiety with Alex was never a small thing. Even when it came to meeting Y/n, he was nervous. What if she didn't like him? What if Y/n turned out to be a total bitch? Maybe she should check up on Alex. Y/n pulled up Alex's contact on messenger, already thinking of something casual to text him. 'What's your plans for today?' "Alright, unpause E.T!" Mia grinned, jumping on the couch. Y/n jumped, she hadn't realized her friend had come back into the living room. "Okay, okay!" Y/n brought a smile to her face, "Unpausing E.T!" Y/n took one more glance at her phone, Y/n was still on delivered. It wasn't any big deal, she had only sent the text a few seconds ago. As E.T played on the TV, Y/n couldn't pull her thoughts away from Alex. The more and more she thought about him, the more worried she became. When Y/n's phone finally buzzed, Y/n was quick to pull her phone out of her pocket, her eyes scanning over her notifications. One text message from Alex. 'Nothing much, George helped me put my new desk together and I might film a new video later.' A smile came to Y/n's face from just the thought of both George and Alex trying to manage to build a desk together. It'd be interesting to see how the desk turned out. They most likely did a good job, but of course they would've struggled for quite a bit of time while trying to figure out what tools were what. Y/n could only imagine what their conversation was like during the process. “George, which one is a wrench again?” “I don't know, why don't you just google it?” “Because I'm holding these two pieces together.” Eventually, E.T came to an end with the alien heading home. Mia had stayed around for a bit, just to take a couple of photos together and talk. Finally, Mia had left with a text from Will telling her he missed her. As soon as Mia left, Y/n made her way over to George and Alex's flat. A moment or two after Y/n had knocked on the boys' front door, the door had opened to reveal George. "Hey, Y/n." "Hey, George. Is Alex home?" Y/n flashed a small smile. "Yeah, he's in his room. Come on in," George had moved out of the way, allowing Y/n to step into the flat. Y/n made her way to Alex's room. Before she entered the room, Y/n gave a gentle knock to the door. A small "come in" could be heard by her friend. "Hey, Alex," Y/n opened the door. "Oh, hey Y/n," Alex leaned back in his chair. "You started working on your video yet?" Y/n walked over to Alex and his new desk. His equipment was already set up to film a new video. "Not yet, I haven't found something to film about yet," he let out a sigh, his eyes glazed over his setup. "Might not even film a video today." "How long has it been since you uploaded?" Y/n replied, looking for someplace to sit. "Three weeks." "Oh... wow," Y/n bit her lip. Three weeks? Alex usually loved filming new videos, something had to be going on to keep him from filming anything new. "Alex, I have a question." "Shoot." "You know you can trust me, right?" Y/n leaned against the desk, looking over to her brunette friend. "Of course, Y/n. I completely trust you," he only gave a small nod. "Are you alright? I can tell something's wrong and I was hoping whatever was happening, I could help you through it," Y/n kept her eyes on Alex, watching him. "What's been going on, Al?" "I've just been struggling a bit, Y/n," Alex pinched the bridge of his nose with a small sigh. "This may sound stupid, but I've been struggling with how I look recently. I've just been feeling more insecure about my face. I guess I just haven't been at my 100 percent lately." Y/n's heart ached from hearing those words escape his mouth. Alex really thought he was ugly? Alex was beyond handsome, how could he not see that? "Alex, you got to be kidding. You don't realize how handsome you are," Y/n's mouth fell agape from Alex's words. Alex only shook his head, nothing escaped his lips. "Alex, you're so handsome. Your eyes are so beautiful, your jawline is amazing, it could cut me and I'd say thank you. As many phases as your hair had gone through, it always looks amazing. Some days I fight off the urge of just brushing my fingers through it. I wish I could just hold your hand in public and steal your t-shirts. Alex, you're such a pretty boy and you don't realize it-" Y/n had been cut off by Alex pulling her into his lap, his lips quickly finding their way to Y/n's. At first, Y/n was surprised by the kiss but quickly accepted it. Y/n pulled off Alex's snapback, beginning to brush her fingers through his hair as the kiss deepened. "So was I going to have to wait for you guys to post a video about your relationship or were you gonna tell me?" Both Alex and Y/n pulled away from the kiss, turning their gaze to Alex's doorway. George stood there, one hand on the doorknob as though he had just walked in. "It's... complicated," Alex let out an awkward chuckle. "Whatever, if you guys are gonna have chair sex make sure you're not gonna fall or break the desk," George shook his head. "I put too much time into building that thing." "It was a team effort," Alex shot back. "Sure, Alex, sure," George playfully rolled his eyes as he closed the door. As soon as the door clicked shut, the pair sitting in the chair turned their attention back to each other. "Now where were we?"

Taglist:

@graysonsbrock

@anyasthoughts

@multifandom-but

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2seokfan · 4 years

Text

Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 3

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

word count: 6k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3. ch.4

summary:

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year? So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a roller-coaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

a/n: Hello, Jun here! Whew this took a while to write but thank you for your patience!! (poor Y/N still doesn’t know their real names but maybe she’ll find out soon?) Any feedback is appreciated <3

tag list: @wilhelminalucinda @ghostkat23 @ayoo-bangtan @sadgurllayha

2 months later.

August is relentless. You’re sweaty all the time and you have no choice but the crank up the a/c every single day. This heat wave is incredibly brutal because all you want to do is stay at home eating ice cream in your underwear but instead you’re stuck working overtime to pay for what you assume will be a record-high electricity bill. Fuck you global warming.

It’s currently Tuesday. You’re on lunch break at work, chowing down on a falafel wrap and scrolling through your phone, when a text pops up from Karli.

Karli: Don’t forget!

You: ???

Karli: This friday?

You scratch your head. Wtf?

You: What’s on friday?

Karli: Umm the date? Remember?

No you didn’t. Your dumbass actually forgot about a whole date. You can’t believe yourself. Karli finally set you up with that accountant guy from her job. What’s his name again? Brad? Brandon?

You: oh yeah! my bad haha

Karli: You forgot his name didn’t you?

You: …maybe

Karli: Lol it’s Bryce sweetie

Karli: He’s really sweet! Just give it a shot

You: of course i will

You: i’ll turn up my maximum charm

Karli: Dats my girlllll

Karli: Ugh gtg it’s my boss

Karli: Bye!

You: bye babe

You set your phone down, trying to envision this upcoming Friday. Karli mentioned she gave Bryce your phone number, and he’ll text you sometime this week about your date, so at least you don’t have to make any moves first. She did show you his picture though, being the wingman that she is by stalking all his social media just for you. You’ve gotta admit he is cute, the profile picture showed him sporting a casual smile, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The classic boy-next-door look.

“And he’s most likely not a serial killer!” You remember her declaring a few weeks ago, after scrolling through all his tweets. And when you say all his tweets you mean EVERY Single tweet from when he created his account in high school till now. Your best friend does not fuck around.

“Thanks I appreciate that. Glad he’ll ‘most likely’ not kill me.” You rolled your eyes and grinned at her.

While you munch away the rest of your lunch, you think about how you just aren’t acting like yourself lately. In any other circumstance, you would’ve found yourself more excited for the date. Hell, in any other circumstance you would’ve at LEAst remembered his name, or thought about what to wear by now, or even stalked his social media along with Karli. There’s just a teensy problem though. See, in the past few months you happen to have met two boys who completely changed your standards in men. And you may have maybe developed the tiniest crush on both of them, at the same time. Like how?? You didn’t think you were physically capable of doing that?

You sigh, staring at the rest of your falafel wrap, and force yourself to accept reality. As much as you adore them, you know that your little crush will be completely unreciprocated. This you found out through your group chat, now named ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ (courtesy of Scarlet). It’s not that you confessed to them or anything, they just happened to let slip to you one day that they’re a mated pair. And hybrids mate for life, so they take that shit very seriously. Although this news stung a little, it didn’t cause you to be envious in any way. At the end of the day, crush or not, you’re just glad you have two more people in your life you can confidently call your close friends.

For the past two months you’ve actively kept up with them. Sometimes you’ll send memes back and forth all night, sometimes you’ll group call each other after work. Every once in a while, when they’re not busy doing whatever it is they’re doing, they facetime you. These are your favorite moments because you get to see them in all their attractive glory. Just because they don’t like you that way doesn’t mean a girl can’t deny herself some eye candy.

You guys never run out of things to talk about. Each day you check the group chat and it’ll be popping. Your topics range from the movie that just came out, restaurants they discovered, to even discussing new criminal cases (you got Hazel into watching true crime Youtube videos and now he’s entirely hooked). Sometimes you just sit back and watch the two boys bicker back and forth. It’s hysterical how they decide to argue through text since you’re sure both of them are probably in the same room together, but you appreciate them keeping you in the loop.

At this point they’ve already virtually met Karli. She’s been in the background of one or two of your facetimes. You’re glad she approves of them instantly and you wonder if it has a little something to do with their, especially Scarlet’s, boyish charms. She does keep you grounded though, never failing to mention how it’s suspicious that you don’t know their real names yet.

“I don’t think they mean any harm and they seem genuinely nice,” she had reassured, “But you gotta admit not telling you their names is a little sketch.”

You just shrugged. “They have their reasons.”

Internally you do believe she has a point. Even though you don’t want to force information out of the boys, you’re a naturally curious person. Your mind has already compiled a list of all the unusual facts you’ve discovered about them.

A couple of things have become clear to you over the span of the last few months. The most important fact is that although they share tons of content with you, you still have no idea what they do for a living. You’re also 90% sure they don’t have an owner since there’s never anyone else around them. Another, more interesting fact is that you suspect they’re actually pretty wealthy. Every time you facetime, they’re in some sort of lavish looking hotel penthouse, with fancy furniture and artwork hanging in the background. They also dress designer, occasionally flashing their Balenciaga hats, or little Gucci necklaces, or other fancy logos your peasant-ass is unfamiliar with. You actually googled one of Hazel’s t-shirts from your most recent facetime, having no idea what the FG logo stood for. You remember your eyes bulging out of your head after discovering his plain white shirt with two black letters cost more than $200. TWO HUNDred dollars?!!! Do you know how much food and gas you could buy with $200? Why in the fuck would he spend that much on a shirt??

If only you knew how much their watches cost.

Friday rolls around faster than you can blink and before you know it, you’re rushing home from work to get ready. Bryce texted you for the first time on Wednesday to see if you wanted sushi (hell yeah you did) and you were fortunate enough to notify your boss so you could be let out early. You’ve been such a work horse the last few months that they had no choice but to let you leave in advance.

So far Bryce seems nice enough but you can’t get a proper gauge of his character through text. Oh well, guess you’ll find out tonight.

The sushi place you’re meeting at is on the fancier side, and includes a bar. Knowing yourself, if there’s a bar, there’s no car, which means you won’t be driving. The last thing you want is to leave your car parked somewhere sketchy overnight cause you accidentally got too tipsy to drive. You like to think you have some semblance of control but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

You were let out at 4, which means you have only 2 hours to get ready. As soon as you get home you sprint to your closet at lightning speed. You rummage through your drawers, hoping to find something, ANYthing, that’s appropriate for this occasion. For one quick second, your eyes dart to your forbidden drawer, aka the ho drawer. It contains the remains of your slutty party dresses and tops from college. Being the hoarder that you are, you never like throwing away things, even if you have no need for them anymore. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? You snap your eyes back to the rest of your closet. You’re going for sushi, not to dance at some club. Besides, you have no intention of sleeping with anyone tonight.

After an hour of deciding on a suitable outfit you finally start on your makeup. Your work makeup has dried up, and now feels gross and cakey on your face, so you remove it all and start anew. At least you had the decency to shower this morning so your hair isn’t too gross.

The place is around a 10 minute Uber ride away but you took your sweet ass time getting ready so now you’re in a frenzy. When your phone buzzes, signaling your driver is here, you swipe on some lipstick last minute, grab some chunky heels, and practically fly out the door.

You stare out the window of your ride, wondering why you’re lowkey wishing you could spend Friday night at home watching tv instead, or even just spending the evening facetiming two hot hybrids. This all feels a little too rushed. But no, you shake your head and attempt to hype yourself up. C’mon Y/N this is the first real date you’ve been on in ages. At least TRy and be a little more motivated.

The car pulls up and you thank the driver, stepping out into the warm night air. August is still hot, even in the evenings, and you’re glad you didn’t bring a cardigan. Bryce has already texted you, letting you know he was inside, sitting at your reserved spot. You take a deep breath. Ok, time to put on your game face. You strut in, trying your very best to push the faces of two very good-looking friends out of your mind.

You spot Bryce in a corner, head buried in his phone, his wavy blonde hair not easy to miss. You slide in the seat across from him, prompting him to quickly look up and flash you an easygoing smile.

“Hello there!”

“Hi!” You chuckle nervously. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“Not all all!” He slides his phone back in his pocket, smile still on his face. “You’re just in time.”

A waiter comes by and you both take your orders. You make sure to order a drink because you have a feeling you’ll need the liquid courage to strike up more conversation. Maybe some sake will help ease you.

The first couple minutes are kinda awkward, not gonna lie. Bryce tries to get you to talk about work and you do answer him, but honestly work is the last thing you want to discuss right now. You try to shift the conversation to his job, but that only ends up being worse as he quickly launches into the ins and outs of life as an accountant. Maybe your two hybrids friends have spoiled you because you barely remember the last time you had to fill empty space with small talk.

When the food comes you quietly sigh a breath of relief, hoping the sushi in front of you will help you both get settled and give you time to think of more interesting topics to talk about.

“So,” you wrack your brain, “let’s get to know each other more! Like, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” That’s got to be a safe enough question.

“Hm, I’m actually more of a yogurt kinda guy, ice cream’s not really my thing.”

You freeze, California roll halfway to your mouth. Ok, ok, cool, cool. So he doesn’t like ice cream, that’s fine. You sweat a little. Hurry Y/N think of something else to ask.

“Yeah, I guess that’s not everybody’s thing.” You grimace. “Then what about, i don’t know, cookies? What’s your favorite kinda cookie?”

“Actually I prefer crackers, you know, like the saltine ones? Cookies can be too sweet sometimes.” He’s devouring his dragon roll, not noticing the panic in your eyes. He’s caught you off guard twice today.

This isn’t going well and you’re genuinely surprised because you know Karli has done her research, certain that you two would get along. Guess life really likes to throw you some curveballs.

Who the fuck prefers crackers over cookies anyway?? Ok. Code red! Change the fucking subject before the silence becomes unbearable. Your dessert-related ice breakers had never failed you before but there’s always a first for everything, you guess.

You take a generous swig of sake. “Right, crackers are... good.” You’re mumbling at this point. “Ok, um, what about hobbies? Got any?” Please throw me a fucking bone here! Your mind is reeling but externally you try to act calm and composed, dabbing at the corner or you mouth delicately with a napkin.

“Oh yeah!” His face lights up. Oh thank god. “Do you like football? Me and my buddies at the office sorta formed this team, and we play against other departments. It’s really fun! You should come by and watch sometime!”

“Uh, sure!” Football. Huh. The last time you were anywhere near a football was when you met someone from your college team at a bar. Well he wasn’t holding a football per se, but that counts right? You only remember how much of a douche he was, trying to hit on one of the girls from your group after getting entirely too wasted.

“Awesome! I’ll hit you up when the next game is set!” It’s almost impressive how he doesn’t notice all the tension emitting from your body. In fact, you have a feeling he’s actually enjoying himself and your company.

The rest of the dinner goes by in the same manner. With him happily answering all your questions and you slowly discovering just how little you both have in common.

He is a gentleman though, that you can’t deny. When all the food has been cleared away he immediately swoops in to pay the bill, ignoring your insistence at paying for your half at least. He really isn’t a bad person, just the opposite. Besides your difference in interests, he is a sweet guy overall, and you do find him to be physically attractive. There’s just no spark, no silver lining that keeps you wanting more. When you both get out of your seats he offers to drive you back to your place but you politely decline. You say it’s because you don’t want to trouble him but in reality you need space for yourself to think.

As soon as you arrive home you take off your shoes and plop yourself down on the couch, running your hands through your hair. You check your phone, a few notifications from ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ popping up.

Scarlet: Do you think she’s done with her date yet??

Hazel: Hey Y/N how was it?

You had told them about this date beforehand and they were excited to root for you, which did bruise your ego a bit since it reaffirmed your unreturned attraction to them, but also prompted you to go through with it. This last notification was from 45 minutes ago but you couldn’t reply since you were still at dinner.

You: hi I just got back!

You don’t expect them to respond right away but to your surprise:

Scarlet: And???

You: it was meh

Hazel: That bad huh?

You: no nothing like that!

You: he’s really cute and all, it’s just we basically have nothing in common

Scarlet: Aww poor Y/N (sad emojis)

Hazel: Hey happens to the best of us

Hazel: Actually I wouldn’t know cause I’ve only been with fox boy

You: thanks anyway, i appreciate it Hazel

Maybe it’s cause you’re a little tipsy, or maybe you just feel so open and vulnerable around them tonight, but the next text you send is especially honest.

You: ughhh idk guys i’m just so lonely!!! why can’t things just work out for me for once! Like the first real date I go on in years and this happens :(

They don’t respond for a long time. So long in fact you start to get worried that you exposed too much about yourself.

15 minutes pass by but to you it feels like hours. You’ve already removed all your makeup and changed into your pajama shirt. You relocate to your bed, checking your phone again, thinking of a way to play off your last text as a joke when:

Hazel: If you’re so lonely maybe you could adopt?

You grin to yourself, glad that they’re not being judgmental. Their concern for you resets your mood.

You: ha ha you know my apartment doesn’t allow pets

You: but honestly if i could i would, cause i’d definitely get a little kitty

Hazel: I’m flattered

You: thanks but i meant a real cat

Hazel: Either way i’m flattered

Scarlet: HEY what about foxes??

You: pretty sure owning a pet fox is illegal here Scar

Scarlet: (angry emojis)

Hazel: You heard what the lady said

You: anyways i’m going to bed

You: thanks for making me feel better guys <3

Hazel: Anytime

Scarlet: But hypothetically if foxes weren’t illegal you’d get a pet fox right??

You: of course i would sweetie

Scarlet: (happy emojis)

Scarlet: Yay!!! Goodnight Y/N!

Hazel: Night Y/N

You: night boys

You wake up next morning on your own time, checking your phone to see that you slept in till 11am. Wow, you haven’t slept that well in a while. Maybe it’s the stress from the previous weeks of non stop working, or the pressure to maintain your composure last night, but either way you knocked out like a rock. You sit up, lean back, and stretch your arms as far as they can go.

Today you’re meeting Karli at her place up north. She couldn’t ask you about last night since she was occupied, her seven year anniversary with her boyfriend Sunny coinciding with your date. But she assured you a couple days ago over facetime that today was going to be a girl’s day, no boyfriend included.

“Hey!” Sunny had popped out of nowhere in the video when he heard the news, a look of mock shock on his face. “I live here too! So what, you're just gonna kick me out of the house and leave me on the streets to starve?”

“My god stop being dramatic!” Karli had shoved him playfully off the screen. “I need girl time with Y/N and it’s not girl time if you’re in the house.”

“I can be one of the girls! Right Y/N?” He sounded betrayed.

“I know you can but I’m not the one who makes the rules.” You pointed out.

He sighed. “You got me there.”

Since you’re just spending time at Karli’s and getting takeout, you felt zero need to dress up. You washed your face, threw on an oversized t-shirt some old hookup left at your place (hey it was cute) and some tights, and tied your hair out of your face. This entire process took less than 30 minutes and next thing you know you’re ready to head out.

You sent Karli a quick text, letting her know you’re on the way. You grab a bottle of prosecco, your purse, and keys, saying a quick goodbye to your roommate Ayah on your way out. She gives you a small wave, reminding you that she, yet again, has to leave today for a whole week. You backtrack to give her a quick goodbye hug, telling her to drive safe, before you take off.

Karli’s place isn’t as far as the beach coffeehouse you frequent, but it’s still located in the wealthier side of town. The drive lasts a good 20 minutes but it feels a lot faster since you spend the whole time singing along to your favorite songs.

You pull up to Karli’s apartment complex, driving yourself to the guest parking space. Her apartment building is pretty tall, with a distant, but gorgeous view of the beach.

Karli squeals when she opens the door, immediately giving you a big hug. When you break apart you hold up the bottle of prosecco in your hand, waving it in front of her face.

“I know you have the ingredients here so let’s make some spritz!”

“Yay!”

Aperol spritz is your favorite at-home drink to make with Karli. She had gone on a short trip to Italy in the summer between her two years at grad school and tried the drink there, completely falling in love. She googled the recipe, made it for you one day, you had said “Oh FUck that’s good!”, and the rest is history.

She grabs the bottle and quickly relocates it to her kitchen. Her energy levels are sky high today and you wonder what’s got her so elated. She’s skipping everywhere she goes, there’s a permanent smile etched on her face, and she’s humming non stop as she pulls you away from the front entrance.

Sunny emerges from the hallway, two hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m heading out, I swear!”

Sunny is a big teddy bear of a man, with tattoos splayed across his arms and a well-kept beard. There’s a term you learned online called ‘lumbersexual’ and that’s exactly the word to describe Sunny. He almost reminds you of Jason Momoa, the actor who played Aquaman. Those who just meet him think he looks intimidating at first but once you get past his height and size, you see just how much of a softie he is. He’s also extremely intelligent, working somewhere in the computer industry developing software.

Karli bounds over to him and gives him a big snuggly hug and tiptoes all the way up to give a quick kiss to his lips.

“Have fun babe! Love you!”

“Love you too! Also bye Y/N!”

“Bye Sunny have fun!” You smile as he treads out the door.

You both head to the kitchen and start making your drinks.

“Aren’t you extra chipper today!” You mention as you pour a splash of club soda into your glass.

“Am I?” She doesn’t look at you, wearing a mysterious grin, stirring her mixture with a straw.

After you both finish making your drinks, you head to her living room and settle onto her plush sofa.

Karli yawns, almost too dramatically, covering her left hand over her mouth. You quirk your eyebrow at her, wondering why she’s acting so weird until you spot it. There’s something large, something shiny, on her left ring finger.

“Oh my god….” Your entire mouth hangs open. “Oh my GOD!!! Is THAT…?”

“Yep!”

“Did HE -?”

“Yep!!”

“AND YOU - ?

“YEP I DID!!”

“YOU’RE ENGAGED?!?!?!”

“I KNOW!!!!”

What happens after is a shriek rivaling that of a pterodactyl taking flight after spotting prey, except the sound is just the two of you screaming and jumping up and down in Karli’s living room.

You bring her into a tight hug, so emotional that you’re about to tear up. And you’re not one to cry that easily.

“I’m so happy for you!” You pull apart and wipe a stray tear from your cheek.

“Thank you! I’m so happy too!” Her smile is also a little watery. “Like I knew he was gonna do it soon since we’ve been together so long but I’m still shocked you know?”

“I know!”

“And I’m sorry. Today was supposed to be me asking about your date last night.” She dabs at her eyes. “Bryce really likes you too. He even texted me thanking me for introducing you!!”

“Oh shit...” You take this chance to drink your Aperol spritz. “I’m gonna be completely honest with you. It’s true he’s cute but there was no spark.” You give her an apologetic grin, knowing she really wanted this to work out for you. “Like don’t get me wrong he’s super nice and stuff but I just couldn’t find anything we have in common. I can’t believe he’s still into me?!”

“Aw I’m sorry babe.” She pouts. “I really did think you would be a good match.”

“It’s ok. Anyways,” you wave her off, bringing up the more important subject at hand. “I’d much rather talk about your engagement! Like, hello?? You’re getting married, girl!!

Another squeal. You really hope her neighbors don’t complain.

“I know!! I literally don’t know what to think!” She smiles wistfully, like she’s on cloud nine, then brings her attention back to you. “Also you’re the maid of honor and you can’t back out of that.”

“I would never!” You gasp dramatically, one hand clutching your chest.

“But don’t worry!” She sets her drink down. “The wedding’s not happening till next year at least. We don’t have to start planning till way later.”

The rest of the day you spend chatting to Karli, prompting her to spill every single detail about the proposal. Even though you have no need to help her plan a wedding just yet, you can’t hold back from offering some ideas that spring to mind.

“I got it!!” You shout.

“You got what?”

“Hear me out,” you may or may not be a little tipsy at this point. “Goth wedding!” You say with jazz hands. Then you reach down to take another sip of your drink.

“Hmm…” She pretends to think about the idea, then giggles. “And that’s enough prosecco for you.” Plucking the glass out of your hand, she transfers it to her kitchen sink.

A couple more hours roll by. You both decide to watch a cheesy Netflix horror movie to sober up, paired with the Mexican takeout you ordered. By the time the credits roll, the sun has long since set, along with your alcohol buzz. You check the time on your phone, deciding it’s best to head home since poor Sunny has been respectfully out and about all day, giving you your girl time.

You give Karli one last big hug, murmuring into her hair how happy you are for her situation. She walks you to the apartment elevator, where you proceed to blow her a swift kiss right before the doors close in your face.

Reality sets in the moment you’re alone. Your head swims with thoughts as you drive back. Most of them are happy about your best friend’s engagement but you can’t discount the little ugly bubble of jealousy that wells down deep in your gut, reminding you of your own current situation. It’s not until you reach home that you realize you didn’t even play music in the car.

Ayah has long since gone on her business trip by the time you arrive at your apartment. The whole place looks dark and unwelcome, only highlighting the emptiness you feel inside. You trudge to your room and slump onto your bed. You try to scroll through social media as a way to distract yourself but you’re met, instead, by all the pictures and posts of happy people, showing off their achievements or bragging about their seemingly perfect lives.

You immediately lock your phone and throw it onto the blanket, the stress and anxiety from the last few months building to a boiling point in your mind. Your biggest concern is you still haven’t figured out your lease situation, and you only have two more months to move out or find someone new. Ayah has tried her best to help you but she’s bombarded by business trips so no luck so far. You let out a small groan and bury your head in the pillow, deciding to sleep it off and worry about your problems tomorrow, even though it’s not even that late.

Right as you’re about to drift off into dreamland, your phone rings. You fumble around the covers until it’s in your hands and check that you have a facetime call from your two favorite boys.

Immediately your body jerks awake and you sit up, swiping the answer button.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Y/N!!” Scarlet’s heart-shaped smile is taking up most of the screen but you can see a sliver of white and grey hair behind him.

Hazel elbows him out of the way. “Sorry were you sleeping?” He tilts his head, ears twitching. “Wait, it’s only 10 pm where you’re at. You never sleep this early.”

“No I wasn’t... I mean, yeah I was trying to sleep but…”

You sigh. It’s their faces. Just seeing them through a screen, their wide, innocent eyes blinking up at you, makes you want to spill everything.

You nibble on your bottom lip for a moment. “I was just kinda having an existential crisis so I decided to sleep it off. No biggie.”

Scarlet’s eyebrows furrow in concern. After only two months, he can already tell when something is off with your tone of voice.

“Y/N what’s wrong?” He looks up for a bit, pausing to think. “Was it the date last night?”

“The date?” Oh yeah the date. Yet another thing that didn’t go well. You totally forgot about that can of worms. “Not really… or actually kinda?”

You try to reorganize your jumbled mess of a brain and put your thoughts into words.

“So you know how I said I was going to Karli’s today?”

“Mhm,” they nod at you to continue.

“Well turns out she got engaged last night.”

“That’s awesome! I’m so happy for her!” Scarlet bounces a little, then quickly returns to a more serious tone. “But that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“Yeah I’m happy for her too.” And you genuinely are.

You pause for another moment, teetering on the edge of playing your emotions off like it’s no big deal or exposing all of your concerns yet again. Your need for an outlet to vent to wins in the end. For the first time you find yourself unable to confide in Karli because you want her to be happy and focus on the engagement rather than to be preoccupied with you. Before you know it, the words flow from your mouth like running water.

“It’s just that her announcement really brought me back to earth, and I started thinking a little too much about my own life.” You purse your lips. “I don’t know… I feel pretty selfish right now because she’s doing so well and I just can’t help comparing my life to hers. I’m so proud of her but it’s like everything in her life is coming together and I just want that for me also.” You throw your hands up in frustration, almost knocking the phone off from where it leans on your pillow. “I mean we’re the same age for god's sake! Why can’t I get my shit together??”

“Well you should be proud of yourself though,” Hazel cuts in. “Cause we are.” He gestures to Scarlet and himself.

“Yeah!” Scarlet chimes. “I mean you’ve got a full time job and a place to stay. I know you don’t feel like it’s the most ideal situation right now but please don’t discredit yourself.”

“Thanks guys.” You calm down a bit, but then you remember the whole issue with your apartment. Scratching the back of your neck, a habit you’ve picked up whenever you’re nervous, you say in a much smaller voice, “although my ‘place to stay’ might not last much longer.”

“What do you mean?” Both boys’ eyebrows are raised in confusion.

You realize you never mentioned your living situation to them, the topic always pushed to the back of your mind whenever they initiated conversation.

“Yeah.” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “My lease ends soon and Ayah wants to move to a place of her own. And I have two months to figure out where to live or find another roommate.” You let out a frustrated huff. “She’s been so helpful but still no luck I guess.” You shrug in defeat.

You feel like a balloon that’s lost all its air, brain exhausted from running through all the problems in your life.

“Actually that’s pretty convenient for- ” Scarlet starts, but is elbowed again in the ribs by Hazel. “Ow!”

“Not yet!” The cat hisses quietly to him.

“Huh?” Now you’re confused. What in the world are they talking about?

Hazel turns back to you. “I’m really sorry about everything Y/N. If there’s anything we can do to help please let us know.”

“Thanks buddy.” You offer him a small smile, choosing to ignore what just happened since they clearly don’t want to reveal anything just yet.

Hazel then shifts to a more nervous stance, ears slightly flattening and both hands grabbing his floofy grey tail for comfort. It’s the cutest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

“So Y/N, um, there’s a reason we called you tonight.”

You’re glad for a change in subject, a much needed distraction away from your downward spiraling thoughts.

“Oh right! Yeah. What’s up guys?”

Scarlet steps in front of him again, blocking most of the screen.

“We have a surprise for you!” He’s so close to the camera that you can only see half of his unblemished face but from the way his eyes crinkle, you can tell he’s giddy with anticipation.

“A surprise- ?”

“Yeah!!”

Hazel nudges himself into view again. “Quit hogging the whole screen fox! I swear to god next time we’re using the tv. I can’t see anything! Anyways,” he turns to you and smooths his shirt, expression back to stoic, “are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why?” You’re still a little lost on what the surprise is.

“Cause we’re coming back to town!” Scarlet blurts out.

“You are?!” Suddenly all your negativity melts away, replaced by excitement. Hard to believe just five simple words can shift your mood a complete 180°.

“But wait, there’s more!” You snort at how much Scarlet sounded like an infomercial just now.

“We’d like to invite you to dinner next Saturday night. If that’s ok with you?” Hazel isn’t as physically expressive as Scarlet but the hopeful shine in his eyes gives himself away.

You melt at his expression, heart rate speeding up. “Of course that’s ok! I’d love to!”

“Great!” He flashes one of his rare gummy smiles. “Saturday night. 7 pm. We’ll text you the details.”

“Yep!” Scarlet pipes in. “There’s something important we gotta ask- !” He lets out a small gasp, tail bristling, and clamps a hand over his mouth as if he just said something he shouldn’t have.

“What’s important?” You’ve gotta admit, your curiosity is at its peak right now, and it doesn’t help that they’re acting a little weird today.

Hazel rubs his temples in exasperation, groaning at Scarlet. “What part of ‘not yet’ did you not understand?” He then addresses you. “Sorry Y/N I promise we’ll tell you when we see you in person.”

“Ok.” Cool. That’s fine. You’re a little nervous about what they have to say and it’ll be torture to wait but you’re a big girl and you can handle not knowing for a week. “I can’t wait to see you guys!!” you added.

“Me too!” Scarlet’s personality is so bubbly and contagious that you can’t help but smile back at him.

“Same.” Hazel lets out a small yawn. “Well we’re in a different time zone than you and it’s really late here so I gotta hit the hay.”

“Mk, go get your beauty sleep.” You give them a little wave. “And thanks for everything. I mean it.”

“No problem Y/N.” Scarlet also gives off a yawn, stretching his tired limbs. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

After ending the facetime call, you lie on your back, staring at the ceiling. Your mind is active once again, but this time it’s not clouded with self-deprecating thoughts. Instead, you spend the remainder of the evening theorizing about the ‘important’ things the boys have to tell you. Maybe you’ll finally find out their real names. Or maybe they’ll reveal something else about themselves, like why they’re constantly travelling, or what they actually do for a living. Either way you can’t wait for next Saturday to come around.

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#bts fic #bts hybrid au #hoseok fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfction #hybrid hoseok #hybrid yoongi #bts hybrid fic

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 260: GOD IS A WOMAN

Previously on BnHA: Virtually all of the known pro heroes in existence split into two big groups (each with its own weenie hut junior subgroup) to launch a massive surprise attack on the League of Pliff. Endeavor’s group, in Jakku, stormed the hospital where Ujiko works, which amazingly seemed to catch him completely off guard, so I guess we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile off in the woods somewhere, Midnight’s group (ostensibly this is Edgeshot’s group, but I call it like I see it guys) prepared to attack the villains’ main HQ at the Overlook Hotel, while my infant son Kaminari Denki complained too loudly about being stuck on the front lines. Meanwhile the rest of 1-A (sans Tokoyami) is either tucked away safe in the woods, or perched just outside of Jakku ready to begin the citizen evacuation. I suggest that everyone enjoy this brief period where the good guys appear to be safe and victorious while it lasts.

Today on BnHA: MIRUKO!!! Okay lol. A lot happens in this chapter. Aizawa uses his quirk on Ujiko, who immediately starts melting away into a crispy-fried old man because apparently this motherfucker had the immortality quirk all along. And then Mic and Aizawa yell at him, and the other doctors are all “pardon us but what the fuck” and the heroes are all “NO TIME TO TALK, HE’S EVIL” and then we find out that Ujiko is a fucking Twice clone, so that’s just great. And the real Ujiko is of course down in the basement, along with LORD EVEN KNOWS HOW MANY HIGH END NOUMUS, and for a moment it honest to god looks like we’re screwed. But then MIRUKO, YOUR NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER, KICKS DOWN ALL THE FREAKING DOORS AND FLATTENS POOR JOHN-KUN AND IS ALL “BOOM, YOU LOOKING FOR THIS?”, and let me tell you guys, FOR A MOMENT I SAW TRUTH. Anyway so next chapter she’s probably going to have to fight zombie Jeanist or something, but for now? Life is good. REMEMBER THIS DAY.

so just like last week, before I get started I’m gonna do a quick follow-up on chapter 259. really, Viz’s version wasn’t all that different from the fan scanlation this time around, so this will mostly just be reactions to things I didn’t notice and that other people pointed out

first off, a couple people mentioned that the thing Mic is holding up appears to be some kind of throat spray. which seems to track, so I’ll just say again that I have a very morbid curiosity about whether or not Mic could actually kill someone with his quirk. and this curiosity has only intensified since my google search

so yeah. will we ever get to see something like this?? STAY TUNED

also, I got a couple of conflicting answers about Naomasa’s quirk. someone said his quirk was lie-detecting, but another person said that’s actually his sister’s (LOL I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A NAOSIS, I REALLY SHOULD JUST READ VIGILANTES) quirk. and I never actually followed up on that lol sooooo. let me just do that real quick

okay so he doesn’t have a quirk listed on the wiki, but it says that his codename (??) is “True Man.” so that does seem to imply that his quirk is similar if not identical to his sister’s quirk, which is indeed a truth quirk (Polygraph). although the “she can’t detect a lie if the person is relaxed” seems to call this ability into doubt a bit. still pretty powerful though I guess

moving on now, last but not least let’s discuss the most relevant and controversial thing that happened this past week. (incidentally, I added an ETA about this to the previous chapter recap a couple hours after I first posted it, so in case you don’t what the asks below are referring to, it’s that.)

so... I have mixed feelings about this. thing is, after reading up on it, it seems like the fans who were most upset were those from China, Korea, etc., which is actually completely understandable given the historical context. Japan doesn’t exactly have a great track record with being sensitive about all of the horrific shit their military got up to during WWII, so while I still believe that Horikoshi wasn’t intending to be disrespectful, I can understand them not being inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt

that being said, I keep thinking about this tweet by aitaikimochi:

and despite what Horikoshi said in his apology tweets (about how he didn’t intend for the name to be associated with that particular historical connection), I still can’t help but think that he absolutely did intend to reference Unit 731, with the intent of (a) linking it to this vile, disgusting piece of shit character as a commentary, and (b) perhaps subtly pushing some of his Japanese readers who have never heard about this particular part of history to learn more about it. like, I know he offered up some dubious explanation about it being a reference to Ujiko’s rotund nature, but that seems really iffy to me tbh. that’s one hell of a coincidence if that’s really the case. idk

and you know what else -- and here’s where I’m really whipping out the conspiracy goggles -- I also can’t help but suspect that the decision to go back and change the name in the volume release is coming more from Shueisha (who I half-suspect weren’t themselves aware of the “maruta” name association until this blew up) than from him. because unfortunately this seems to be the standard Japanese PR response any time this subject comes up -- offer a vague statement of regret, and immediately proceed to wipe any mention of the subject from existence. because god forbid people actually talk about this or acknowledge that it happened

and so ultimately, while I do empathize with those who were upset by the name, I think it’s unfortunate that this is just getting swept back under the rug so quickly and will no doubt be forgotten about within a couple of months, because my gut feeling is that Shueisha was ultimately more concerned about what their Japanese readership might think about the controversy than what the Chinese and Korean fans thought. I could be wrong about that, and maybe also giving Horikoshi too much benefit of the doubt, but meh :/

anyway! so now that we’ve gotten that topic out of the way, let’s see how many pages it will take before the heroes finally realize just how much of an “oh fuck” situation they’ve gotten themselves into!

so the cover page is Hawks and Endeavor, but more importantly (to me), it establishes that this is indeed a hotel/resort and not a mansion, as the readheroaca team randomly translated it as last week. like does that look like any mansion you’ve ever seen. come on now

anyway so now my question is what happens if someone actually tries to stay at this hotel. do they just book that shit on trivago and enjoy a week up in the mountains surrounded by very strange but seemingly nice people, and just never suspect a thing? like, Gigantomachia lives in the basement here. I’m just saying. how dense can these hypothetical travelers be

also the hotel is apparently 80km from the hospital, or about 50 miles for us troglodytes who still use the imperial system. so pretty safe to say neither team will be able to provide backup to the other in this case. I will try not to think about this

so now Ujiko, the man without a name, is screaming while Endeavor and his group just STAND THERE LIKE TWENTY FEET AWAY. what the fuck

I swear to god he looked so much closer in the previous chapter. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING. HE’S GOT NOUMUS IN THE BASEMENT!! CAN YOU FUCKING ARREST HIS ASS ALREADY

YESSSS AIZAWA

what are the odds that the next panel features Aizawa Shouta looking more pissed off than we’ve ever seen him. oh my god. it’s probably going to be hot af. I’m not sure I’m ready

booooooo

that is more or less the opposite of hot af. Horikoshi why you gotta do me like that

well well WELL!

you mean to say Mr. Innocent Quirkless Philanthropist isn’t actually quirkless?? even though he wasn’t actually innocent?? and he wasn’t actually a philanthropist either?? well I am just SHOCKED. who saw this coming. how could this happen

also for real this is creeping me the fuck out though

it does make sense though. I just can’t picture AFO entrusting so much of his operation to this dude if he actually was quirkless. because he’d view someone without a quirk as being lesser/inferior. so Ujiko almost had to have something up his sleeve. although it’s possible he could have been granted a quirk, rather than being born with one I suppose

!!!!

DO NOT TELL ME THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS THE FUCKING IMMORTALITY QUIRK. WHAT THE FUCK. IS HE JUST GOING TO SHRIVEL UP INTO NOTHING. NO FUCKING WAY HE GOES DOWN THAT EASY WHAT THE HELL

(ETA: and does this mean that if Aizawa ever visits AFO and uses his quirk on him, AFO will also instantly age like 200 fucking years? could that actually kill him?)

duuuuude. Nao’s speculating about whether the Noumus’ regeneration ability actually stems from this quirk. ...but that can’t be the case, can it? otherwise AFO would have been able to heal his injuries from the battle with All Might. we know for a fact he’s known Ujiko for at least 15 years. but still, either way it’s still one hell of a powerful quirk

which now seems to be unraveling before our very eyes. uh...

anyone else getting Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade vibes? “he chose... poorly”

oh MY GOD!!

do it Mic do it do it do it

oh my god. well he’s not killing him with his voice, but instead this is happening

nooo Mic. I need you to be less anguished and more murdery. I don’t want feels yet!! goddammit

I mean it’s not asking for too much, is it? I just want a teensy little bit of satisfaction before the shit hits the fan. just torture him a little bit. just a little!

oh hey some doctors are intervening because the heroes look like psychopaths right now

s2g if one of these fuckers gets in between Ujiko and Aizawa’s line of sight and he fucking gets away -- !! oh my god. I can’t fucking take this. ffdffjjjk I’m so anxious you guys, I could never be a hero the stress is too much

so instead of explaining it to these rightfully concerned people, the heroes are just pushing them aside and telling them to stand back. and like, on the one hand I get it. they’re on the clock, they have to eliminate John-kun before the hotel villains get wind of the attack, and they don’t have time to explain an entire series’s worth of backstory to everyone who asks about it. but on the other hand, I also just want them to shout “HE EXPERIMENTED ON CHILDREN AND CORPSES AND CREATED THE NOUMUS!” or something. just so they know. I need them to know goddammit

but at least the patients seem to all be pretty chill about it lmao

-- holy shit. okay, three things

that panel with them moving the beds is my favorite

the panel with Tora holding this one guy who’s suddenly IN LOVE is also my favorite. oh man. Tora you are the manliest

combat with the WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW

so they knew?? well that sure fucking explains why Endeavor made the executive decision to keep his son and the other kids as far away as possible. but also, what? so like they must not realize that there are more high ends, then. right? or else they surely would not be so casual about this

holy shit?!

just how thorough was this investigation?? I really need to stop underestimating the heroes huh. should have learned my lesson after Kamino. these guys do their homework. it’s just that there’s always some one last thing that they failed to account for

so what is it going to be then in this case? Tomura is the one controlling them now? shitttttt

oh god. yeah, Miruko’s just casually kicking down the mortuary door and she’s all “we know who’s controlling them!” so I assume they believe that it’s Ujiko. which is honestly what I myself assumed up until about ten seconds ago, so fair enough

SDKFJLSKHGLK THERE IT IS

hot. a. f. just like I said. excuse me sir but there are laws against smoking in a hospital. because you’re smoking. get it. ...it’s because you’re hot. ...yes sir I’m sorry sir I will stop now

so Ujiko is sobbing and screaming “let me go!!” and okay but where is Present Mic? do you see, Mic. this is what I wanted, okay. but it’s all right, I understand that you were upset

ohhhhhhhhhh ffffuuuu

Endeavor with a worried look and lots of dots followed by an exclamation point, and then a closeup of Ujiko’s mouth looking surprisingly sinister as he reiterates for them to let him go. I’M SURE THIS IS ALL FINE. WE’RE ALL FINE. THAT’S OKAY HORIKOSHI, YOU CAN END THE CHAPTER HERE, IT’S GOOD. WE GOT LIKE WHAT, EIGHT PAGES? THAT’S PLENTY, REALLY

FUFFFFFFF NO MIRUKO DON’T GO FLYING INTO THE VOID! THE VOID IS BAD

HOLY SHIT

jesus christ. Miruko does the exact same thing as Katsuki where she sees a wall and she’s all “FUCK YEAH.” goddamn. it honest to god gave me a boost of confidence even as I watched her announce that THE NOUMU ARE DOING THE EXACT FUCKING THING SHE JUST SAID THAT THEY WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO DO

and also that is 100% a black Noumu there on the right side. so confirmed, the big guns are here too

HOLY SHIT TIMES TWO

THIS FUCKING HOSPITAL REALLY HAD THE FUCKING ASTEROID WORM FROM EMPIRE STRIKES BACK IN THE FREAKING BASEMENT, AND YOU ALL COULDN’T FUCKING DETECT THAT?? GET BETTER DETECTING TECHNOLOGY YOU DUMB HEROES

but nice save, Aizawa!! I personally would not have had such quick reflexes upon being confronted by a giant monster lunging out of the floor to stick out its multipronged DRILL TONGUE WHICH IS ALSO ITS BRAIN, haha. can someone please check on Horikoshi to make sure he is doing all right. I have some concerns about the mind that drew this

holy shit the drill tongue Noumu is actually drilling into Ujiko. like there’s blood and stuff

-- SHIT

THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE THE DAMN GOGGLES YOU ASSHOLE!! “BUT MAKESTE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED ME TO TAKE THEM OFF SO THAT I COULD LOOK HOT.” WELL JUST LOOK AT HOW WELL THAT TURNED OUT! THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER LISTEN TO ME

(ETA: well it turned out not to matter BUT STILL.)

lmao Endeavor looks so fucking mad

“THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE THE DAMN GOGGLES YOU ASSHOLE.” I know, right?!

...aaaaaand this is happening

lol. good job @blessedgirthma you called it. it’s a clone! hahaha, fuck

and so the bad man lives to see another day. bets on who will eventually be the one to take him out? just remember how long that list is. lots of enemies, Ujiko. you’ll get yours

but right now I guess we have some other things to worry about

by the way we best pray to god that it was Twice who made that clone and not Ujiko himself, because if Ujiko has managed to replicate that ability on top of everything else, we can truly kiss the world goodbye

but anyway! so that’s Noumu!Tomura confirmed then, in my book. and there are the 11! does this mean they’re not at the hospital?? all I know is they had better not be out on the outskirts of the city where my babies are

also is Ujiko talking to himself here. it almost seems like his words are coming out of the clone’s mouth. but Twice doesn’t have that kind of clone puppeteering ability. so then who is this guy bragging to. -- oh my god can he see us

lmao he’s plopping into his science chair and zooming halfway across the room

don’t misunderstand me though, one panel of being super relatable does not make up for a lifetime of horrific and nauseating crimes

-- THERE ARE MORE VATS!!! HOLY SHIT

THERE ARE MORE VATS. THERE ARE MORE VATS

there is at least one more row than I recall seeing in that previous chapter way back when. so even more high ends. in addition to the 12 (11 considering Endeavor subsequently fried one) we previously saw

and also I just realized, he did say “this” hospital. meaning he is still in the basement? so these guys are still right under their noses, then? oh god oh god so much to process and all of it is terrible god

GAAAAAAASPPP

MILADY!!!!!

holy shit. you guys. what the fuck. the hell was All Might thinking going to U.A. to pick a student successor when Miruko was right fucking there. like I’m just saying??

and also, fuck me he is getting away

OH MY GOD

SHE FUCKING MURDERED POOR JOHN-KUN JUST LIKE THAT WHAAAAAT. YOU GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE MIRUKO IS THE NEW MAIN CHARACTER OF BNHA, TIMES ARE WILD

lmao and that’s the end of the chapter. holy shit. all I need is for her to say “I am here!” and I’m set. I leave it in your capable hands. why was she not in charge to begin with. number five hero my ass!! smdh for real though guys lol

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smallblueandloud · 4 years

Note

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 for the writing ask- I AM SO SORRY I COULDNT STOP!!! xoxo

aaaah these questions look SO GOOD thank you so much <3 <3 for this ask meme, which will be open all weekend!

1. tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

i pulled open all of my WIP google docs for this and my laptop started whirring ominously, lmao. this is going to be a Little Long but i love talking about my wips so who cares!! (under the cut because EXCERPTS)

guys and dolls but gay - very, very casual rewrite of guys and dolls if sky masterson was a woman. i’m loving how chill i’m being about this one because it’s so much fun to not have to worry how i’m going to write lyrics in a not-weird way and just focus on the story. this one’s first because it’s theoretically closest to being finished.

sky, laughing: “oh? people. all the people you turn down every day. well, i imagine there’s someone out there that’ll catch your eye.”

sarah, stiffening: “...yes, there will be.”

sky: “and what might this person be like?”

sarah: “he will not be a gambler, for one.”

sky does not miss the pointed pronoun. “i’m not interested in what he won’t be, i’m interested in what he will be.” she sits down on the desk, in a pointedly masculine pose, and sets her fedora next to her - at her most Hot Queer, basically. “how will you know when he gets to you?”

my fic for the aos rarepair fic exchange - i can’t give any plot or ship details, for obvious reasons, but it’s 1.3k and i’m having fun with it!

steven roadtrip of destiny - canon divergent fic set at the end of steven universe future where steven goes on a roadtrip instead of... canon. it deals with some heavy emotions and it’s also a character study so it’s tentatively shelved until i get around to rewatching suf. but i am projecting on steven like crazy and it’s really, really cathartic. it’s taught me a lot about myself too lmao.

He’s never been anonymous before. He kind of likes it. It means he can fold his arms on the table and put his head down without Pearl worrying about his posture, or someone asking him if something’s okay.

In the last few months, he’s grown to hate people asking him how he’s doing, or if he’s okay. He always ends up lying, because he doesn’t want to worry them, and he ends up feeling worse.

Probably because it’s more of him supporting other people without supporting himself.

He should have told someone how he was feeling. He should have reached out. Sadie could’ve helped him. Lars would’ve listened. Connie would have hugged him and then found him the appropriate mental health professional.

(God, Steven wants a hug. Also the appropriate mental health professional? Whoever that would be.)

untitled aos fic - i don’t want to give a lot of details because :eye emoji: and also i don’t know much about what the plot of this is going to be anyway, lmao. but here’s an excerpt:

daisy “that actor who doesn’t shut up about data harvesting” johnson (@daisyquake) tweeted: two weeks :eyes emoji:

Elena Rodriguez | Seven Cents S2 Streaming On Netflix Now! (@yoyorodriguez) retweeted and added: the problem with being friends with daisy is that you SHOULD have some insight into what her tweets mean but you still have no idea

Fitz (@justfitz) retweeted and added: Try being married to her

untitled star wars twins fic - because i am a total and massive nerd. i’m just kind of stuffing everything i have feels about from the post-anh era into this and planning on figuring it out later? i’m really loving talking about the culture of alderaan (and the culture of the survivors) and also i just love writing luke and leia’s relationship... so much......

(no excerpt for that one because i’ve basically posted all of it in various posts lmao)

aos ds9 au - i’ve posted a LOT about this already and i want to keep the plot a surprise but fsk is in this and married and half the cast is aliens, what else do you need in life.

“Good morning,” says Jemma, coming into the room with her hair wet and her uniform crooked. “Hello, darling.”

“Hi,” says Daisy, turning her face up for a kiss. Jemma obliges absently as she walks past, looking around the room.

“Has anyone seen my hair clip?”

“No,” say Fitz and Daisy in unison.

and of course, last but never least in my heart, chapter 3 of the magnum opus - writing this is on hold until my brain decides to stop hitting me over the head at every possible moment, but there’s like... 2k written so far? it’s. it’s going.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Coulson, and makes quick work of the right gauntlet. It’s only halfway through the left one that his fingers slow and he says, quietly, “Simmons designed these, didn’t she?”

She lets out a quick breath. “Yeah.”

He stays quiet for a few more seconds, finishing up the last of the straps, making sure they’re tight enough. Finally, he says, “She should be helping you with these.”

Daisy pulls her arms back and swallows down some words, or maybe a couple of feelings, or maybe a sob. “Yeah, well.”

2. tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

the last sentence of the magnum opus!!!!!!!!!!

no, lmao, i’m gonna try to be serious. i really, really want to write some librarians fic in the near future? also MORE OF THE SENSE8 AU. i’m DYING to write some stuff about that. especially sam’s cluster, for some reason? Let’s Make Him Suffer (Comedically)! one day i’m gonna finish that list of what cluster/situation each song is about and then it’ll be over for all of us!

3. what is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

i spent about eight months imagining a scene where riza hawkeye was really injured and mustang was holding her in his arms (basically the promised day scene but with more privacy) so does that count?

hmm, just for some other possibilities: glinda telling dorothy about elphaba, laura somehow seeing or speaking to natasha during catws, a good omens au of the good place (specifically the ”i don’t even like you!” / “you doooooooo” scene), kencyrath au of star wars (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, except setting up the first scene alone would take 7k, but i want to talk about leia and luke and their MESSED UP TRUST ISSUES in this au).

oh, also, something about star trek tng where jean-luc and beverly and jack were in love and then jack died and picard left. more specifically a scene set during the pilot episode where jean-luc very cordially offers beverly the option to transfer off the enterprise, that he wouldn’t dream of holding it against her, and beverly very cordially telling jean-luc to go fuck himself. i want to write 30k of that broken triad. i want it so bad. i dream of that fic. maybe one day when i find myself with a completely empty month or two, i’ll binge all of tng and Write Some Stuff.

4. share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

since you and i have tww in common, i’m gonna do a tww fic! otherwise i’d have to reread literally every fic i’ve ever written, lmao.

(this is long but i put this post under the cut so i have RIGHTS. also consider this a sneak peek for the j/d fic in the sense8 au?)

“It’s okay,” says Helen. She sits for a moment in silence, seeming thoughtful. “The Congressman and I are in the same cluster,” she says eventually. “I’d- I supposed that’s easier on the Secret Service?”

“Yes,” says Donna. “The-”

She stops herself from saying anything further. President Bartlet and the First Lady aren’t exactly quiet about who’s in their cluster, especially with senior staff, but that doesn’t mean she should go talking about it in an unsecured room in LA, of all places.

To cover for her blunder, she gives up something else: “The same with Josh. They got really lucky with him, actually. It’s just him and me, so they won’t have to worry about anyone threatening the Chief of Staff through the barista in the local Starbucks.”

Helen looks up from the Ohio numbers she’d drifted back to, a slow smile creeping up on her face. “Josh is in your cluster?”

“Uh-” says Donna, feeling like national security wasn’t worth whatever she’s just blundered into. Oops. “Josh- Josh is my cluster, ma’am.”

She catches her mistake the second it’s out of her mouth, but Helen doesn’t call her on it, more focused on other revelations. “No wonder you two look at each other the way you do!” she says, sounding delighted. Donna shuts her eyes, praying for this to go away. It’s not that she’s ashamed of Josh - it’s just so, so complicated, and other people never think about how difficult it was. Still is.

i’m just... i really liked the idea of donna fumbling and having to reveal this to cover up for what else she was going to say? i don’t know why i’m so charmed by this. i think it’s because it would be impossible in the show - you can’t show what someone was going to say on television, not without a lot of setup and very careful scripting. it’s just a really fun situation to write about and i’m really proud of this conversation in general.

also helen santos was a dream to write and i love her a lot. i kind of want to write one of the fics in the series about her and her cluster solely because like... look at her. she’s a delight in literally every scene. i love her.

5. what character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

daisy johnson!!! i love writing daisy johnson!!!! she is the most adhd character i’ve ever written and i literally just have to transcribe my own inner monologue and it works perfectly!!!!!

Swing shift: 1600 hours to 2400 hours. Daisy always ends up getting back to her quarters at like 0030 hours, when Jemma is asleep and Fitz is reading some kind of technical journal. Then she has to eat replicated pizza, alone, and freshly replicated pizza is actually pretty hot but it feels cold at that time of night, like, spiritually.

6. what character do you have the most fun writing?

...whoops i literally just answered that lmao. uh. i also really love writing sky masterson in the guys and dolls fic? she’s just weaponized hot queerness in a suit and i love her for it. she is intentionally trying to seduce this repressed lesbian and it’s really funny and also really hot of her and it’s so much fun to write.

also, i wrote chidi for the tgp fic and it was possibly the most fun i’ve ever had with a pov, although that was also because i was purposefully trying to mimic the tone of the show. i still think that line about michael and a grenade is, like, the funniest i have ever been in my life. but chidi’s panic was surprisingly easy to write? all of tgp’s characters have such STRONG voices, it makes writing fic ridiculously easy as long as you don’t get stuck on a plot for six months.

7. what do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? would others agree?

oof, this one is ALWAYS tricky. uh? uhh?? i’m going to ruin everything by saying this but i basically alternate between the same two sentence structures and i am really frustrated about it. i also alternate between the same two styles of endings and i always use the same beginning (set scene, main character pov, thoughts-as-exposition, back to scene).

BUT ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE i like to talk about emotions and relationships and character development!! i have my “queer subtext goggles” superglued to my face, lmao. i like to think about how characters must have felt about things in canon and how it must’ve influenced them. i like making people deal with the consequences of their actions, especially how it’s influenced they themself. i also just really, really like writing people who love each other, whether it’s romantic or platonic or anything in between. i just want them to be happy! i just want them to stick together! doesn’t matter what fandom, i stand by it.

#loudwithlaughter #sb and l rambles #sb and l answers #sb and l is writing #thank you for sending this in!!!!!#now for literally All The Tags lmao #aos ds9 au #verse: fitzskimmons thingy #fic: you're a candle in the window #verse: and it's golden #mcu ideas #tgp ideas #st ideas #fic: help me hold on to you #fic: on that bumpy road to love #jesus CHRIST that was a lot of tags #okay okay i'm pressing post now #this was such a delight thank you SO much for sending it!#the steven roadtrip of self discovery fic

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saywhatjessie · 4 years

Text

cute dog related title

3.5k. For Elaine. Join us on Discord! [Ao3]

“What do we think about Joan?”

Henry blinked, looking up from his phone to look over at Alex. “What?”

“Joan!” Alex repeated, excitedly. “As a name!”

Henry’s face contorted. “As in Joan of Arc?”

Alex’s face fell, “No, like Joan Jett. I’m trying to keep with our vintage rockstar theme.”

Henry let out a surprised laugh, turning a bit in his seat so his knee bumped Alex’s. “I like it.”

“Yeah, but if the first thing you thought was a religious figure, that’s not my favorite thing.”

“Well, it’s not like Bowie is the first thing you think when you hear David. Could just as easily be the Bible story with Goliath.”

Alex grimaced. “I don’t know if I like that.”

Henry huffed a laugh again, putting a hand on Alex’s knee. “Well, it’s not as if we have to decide now. Let’s at least meet the dogs first, yeah?”

Alex’s mouth twitched and he groaned dramatically, covering Henry’s hand with his. “ Fiiiiiiiine .”

Henry smiled softly, bringing Alex’s hand up to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. Alex grinned, butting his knee against Henry’s, teasing him for being so corny. Henry winked.

“Anyway, I’m more concerned with breed,” Henry said coolly, lifting his phone back to his face. “It’s important to research these things beforehand.”

Alex snorted. “H, I think the last thing we’re going to find is a pedigree where we’re going.”

Henry made a protesting noise in his throat. “It’s not about pedigree, love. We need to get a dog that will get along with David. One that won’t have separation anxiety when we need to be away and one that isn’t terribly difficult with new people.” He turned his phone toward Alex. “I have a list.”

Alex glanced at it and snorted. “Did you really google ‘dog breeds good with beagles’?”

“As opposed to what?” Henry said, his eyebrows hiked. “I got results, did I not?”

Alex snorted again but ran a hand over Henry’s knee as if to say ‘Yes you did, darling, now continue’.

Henry did just that. “Beagles on the whole are rather friendly and there’s very few breeds they won’t get along with. And there’s always dogs that universally get along with everyone, like golden retrievers and labradors.”

Alex scrunched his face. “Sure, but how basic is that?”

Henry leaned his head against the headrest and turned to look at Alex, mournfully. “You’d look adorable with a Golden retriever.”

“I resent you for implying I wouldn’t look adorable with any dog.” Alex said. “And if I fall in love with a Golden Retriever then it is what it is. But give me more interesting options.”

Henry sighed but dutifully returned to his phone.

“Greyhounds?” Henry offered, skeptically.

Alex pumped a fist. “Fuck yes. Skeletal horse-looking fuckers. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Henry grimaced but tapped at his phone a bit before humming in interest. “Greyhounds are one of the breeds most in need of rescue, since they’re former racing dogs. But they’re also one of the hardest dogs to rehabilitate and don’t deal well with the cold or being alone.” He looked at Alex, meaningfully. “So a greyhound would definitely do well in New York while we’re away on politics business or some such.”

Alex grimaced. “Okay, fine . What else you got?”

Henry continued to take him through various dog breeds, pros and cons, relating them to David and what life would be like for the new dog back at the brownstone while Henry was abroad and while Alex was in class or potentially doing lawyer things.

It was just so surreal for Alex to think that he could do this. He could get a dog with his boyfriend. They were living stable and almost boring lives. His mother had no more campaigns to run and he was stressed out in school, which was right in his comfort zone. Henry had his youth shelters and his LGBT organizations. He and Henry were out to the world. It felt like they could really start being a family.

And what better way to start a family than with a dog?

“I do hope David doesn’t feel as if we’re replacing him,” Henry mused, briefly looking out the car window. “This is for him. So he isn’t lonely when we’re both out. Since we left Mr. Wobbles, he needs a mate. This is for him. Do you think he knows?”

Alex’s mouth twitched into another smile and rubbed Henry’s knee consolingly. “If he doesn’t know by now, we can always put the new pup in a box with a bow on it. David would have to be particularly stupid if he doesn’t get the hint then.”

Henry turned to him with a frown. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Just a little,” Alex admitted, bringing Henry’s knuckles to his mouth to kiss them. “David knows we love him. He’ll be fine.”

Henry was still frowning but he turned back to the window, getting more and more nervous the closer they got to the shelter.

Zahra had vetted this shelter within an inch of its life, triple checking references and doing follow up calls with adopted dog owners from more than ten years ago. It was extremely important to not only Alex and Henry but to his mother’s public image, that if Alex was going to be adopting a dog, it would be in the most unambiguously ethical way possible. No puppy farms. No PETA ties. Just good old fashioned dog rescue.

They’d set up a private appointment, obviously. They’d tweet about the shelter once they were safely away.

Cash navigated the car around the back of a squat looking building, putting it in park and turning around to look at them. “You both ready?”

Henry nodded, a steely look in his eye. Alex gripped his hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

They pushed out of their respective doors and Alex hurried around the car to Henry’s side, grabbing his hand again before they reached the back door. Henry shot him a grateful smile and knocked.

A woman opened the door with a startled-sounding “Oh!” despite her clearly having expected them. “Well, wow, hi! Come in!”

Alex smiled, as he and Henry stepped past her into an office. The woman was young-looking, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail and glasses on her face. She wore scrubs with little corgis on them.

“Were the corgis for this guy?” Alex asked, pointing to Henry and gesturing at her scrubs. “Because they’re really more the queen’s thing. Our boy is a beagle man.”

Henry rolled his eyes and smiled even as his ears turned red. “Not everything is about me, Alex.”

“Oh, I did wear them for you, though,” the woman said, her hands shyly tucked in her scrubs pockets. “They felt appropriate.”

“You look great,” Alex told her, winking. He gave Henry’s hand a last squeeze before releasing it to offer it to her. “I’m Alex.”

“I know,” she said, with a slight giggle, taking his hand. “I spoke to your handler on the phone. I’m Faith.”

Alex grinned, shaking her hand and turning to Henry. “I’m sure Zahra would love to know she’s my handler.”

“She has been your handler for well over a decade, love.” Henry told him fondly.

He turned to Faith, offering his own hand. “Henry.”

She took it, bending her knees a bit in an awkward curtsy.

“Oh, that’s really not necessary,” Henry told her, embarrassed.

Alex moved to do his own curtsy, waxing about how amazing and royal Henry is, but he figured that might embarrass Faith more than Henry, so he just grinned and smacked Henry on the ass. “Yeah, he’s really not that great.”

“Alex,” Henry groaned.

“Can we see the dogs?” Alex asked, bouncing a bit on his toes.

Faith looked between them, biting her knuckles, looking very much like she was seconds away from collapsing into giggles. Instead, she cleared her throat and stood up, acting extremely professional. “Of course, follow me.”

They made their way out into the main hallways of the shelter and Alex leaned close to Henry’s ear. “Janis?” He said in a low tone. “Like Joplin?”

“Also Chandler Bing’s annoying girlfriend,” Henry whispered back.

“Goddammit.”

Alex sighed, turning his smile all the way back up when Faith turned to them as they stopped in front of another door.

“I’ve pulled some dogs for you ahead of time. Ones I thought would be a good fit based on what your handler told me. No major abandonment issues, house trained, good with other dogs–”

“Beagle, specifically.” Henry interrupted.

“Yes, a beagle, specifically,” Faith corrected, smiling indulgently. “I’ve pulled three dogs for you to meet today and you can always come back if none of them feel right. But the first one is right behind this door! He’s a Golden Retriever, he’s two years old, and his name is Davey. You ready?”

Alex and Henry nodded and they all headed in.

Davey greeted them very enthusiastically, panting and twining around their legs, his head butting into Alex and Henry’s hands until they scratched his ears. He didn’t bark and he didn't jump up, obviously very well trained.

And he was beautiful. A very handsome and good boy.

“Sit on the ground,” Henry instructed, pulling out his phone. “If I don’t get a photo of you with this dog I will never forgive myself.”

Alex rolled his eyes but sunk to the ground, sitting cross legged in the center of the floor. Davey immediately came up to lick his face, curling his body around so he was sitting square in Alex’s lap. Alex laughed and pet his belly, setting Davey’s tail to thrash in ecstasy. Henry’s grin was too fond as he took approximately a million pictures.

“What do you think?” Alex asked, his hands ruffling Davey’s ears.

Henry glanced nervously at Faith who was sitting at a chair in the corner, supervising their visit. Faith immediately waved him off. “Please speak freely, you won’t hurt my feelings. And Davey won’t understand you, anyway.”

Henry nodded in an acknowledgement, giving a small smile of thanks, but still lowered his voice before answering. “He’s a very pretty dog.”

“ So handsome,” Alex agreed, ruffling Davey’s ears again and kissing his head. “But golden retrievers…”

“Yes, you’ve said,” Henry said, rolling his eyes. “‘Davey’ is also a little too close to ‘David’. Right?”

“We could always change his name,” Alex offered.

Henry’s nose scrunched, telling Alex exactly what he thought of that idea.

Alex scrunched his nose back, mockingly. “Well, he’s an excellent boy. Guaranteed if we don’t take him, he’ll be adopted by the end of the week.”

Henry nodded, his shoulders relaxing a bit at the thought of Davey’s eventual rescue.

Faith smiled, rising from her chair and pulling something from her scrubs pocket. “Next dog?”

Henry nodded, reaching out a hand to Alex, who had been abandoned by Davey almost immediately after Faith had reached into her pocket. Henry helped him to his feet and Faith made Davey sit as she put the peanut butter puzzle treat in front of him.

She let him have it and they left the room while he was distracted.

The next dog was a beautiful floppy eared girl, chestnut with white patches and black feet like she was wearing socks.

Her name was Dobby.

Henry loved her immediately, sitting on the ground and letting her lope up to him and sniff his head. She was a little more demure than Davey, a little more unsure, but she warmed up to them soon enough.

“What is she?” Henry asked, his face in her neck.

Alex translated. “What breed is she?”

“We think she’s an Irish Setter and an English Springer Spaniel mix.”

Alex snorted. “An Irish and an English? Wonder how that worked.”

But Henry’s head popped up from where he’s been focusing on Dobby’s ears and looked at Faith, eyebrow creased. “You think?”

“She was a stray.” Faith shrugged. “We sent her bloodwork in to try and know more but there was some that was inconclusive.”

Henry frowned more, his hands stilling on Dobby’s back before she gave a slight whine and he picked back up on petting her.

Alex kicked gently at his shoe. “Dobby and David. That sounds cute.”

“I don’t like not knowing,” Henry admitted, the inside of his cheek between his back teeth.

“Stop chewing your face,” Alex told him, kicking his shoe again.

Henry stopped, shooting a pout at Alex before repeating “I don’t like not knowing. What if she’s part Chow Chow or Terrier.” He frowned longingly at her bushy tail. “What if she doesn’t get along with David? Chow Chows are not good with beagles.”

“We’re reasonably confident she won’t be a problem with other dogs, otherwise I wouldn’t have brought her in here to meet you,” Faith told them, smiling in sympathy. “I mean, look how gentle she is!”

Henry hugged her around the neck. She was exceedingly gentle.

Alex could have told Henry that they could work with her. That any small percentage of a breed she had that might not like David was something they could overcome. That it would all turn out okay if they took her home.

But Alex didn’t know that. He didn’t know anything for certain and that little margin of error was too much for Henry. If things didn’t work out and he had to give the dog up after falling even more in love with her, it would break his heart.

Alex took a step forward and put his hand on Henry’s head, petting his hair back from his face. He turned to Faith. “I think we should meet the next one.”

Faith nodded, maybe a little disappointed, but reached into her apron again for another peanut butter toy.

Dobby immediately abandoned Henry when the smell of peanut butter hit the air, so that probably helped the sting some. Alex helped Henry to his feet and pulled him into a brief hug, rubbing a hand over his back.

“Maybe we can come back for her someday,” Alex whispered into his ear, kissing his shoulder.

Henry sighed, sinking a bit into Alex’s embrace before standing up straight. “No,” he said firmly. “I want her to be adopted. She deserves to have a forever home, even if it’s not with us.”

Alex kissed his shoulder again, pulling back and kissing him on the mouth. “This magnanimous sacrificial hero thing you’ve got going?” Alex kissed him again. “Extremely sexy.”

Henry laughed under his breath, ducking his head to kiss Alex back, before turning them both to face Faith, who was already done distracting Dobby and had been politely waiting by the door, politely averting her eyes until after they’d finished their moment.

They made their way to the last room.

Faith opened the door to reveal a medium-sized pointy looking dog.

“ Yeeeees, ” Alex whispered, immediately moving in to sit on the ground.

The dog started jumping around, reacting to Alex’s excitement, her toes clacking on the tile. She ran up to Alex as soon as he was on her level and started licking his face.

“Is this a greyhound?” Henry said, laughing a bit as he watched Alex. Alex, for his part, was entirely focused on petting every inch of this dog.

“Hair’s too long to be a greyhound,” he answered, scratching her butt as she went crazy.

“She’s an Italian Greyhound/Whippet mix,” Faith laughed, watching Alex pick her up over his head like Simba. “We call them Whippigs.”

“ Whippig!” Alex said, delightedly, swinging the dog back and forth above him. Her tongue lolled out in a big doggy smile.

Alex pulled her in close to his chest. She fit in very nicely there: she didn’t squirm too much and she seemed pretty content to be held.

He looked up to Henry, eyes pleading.

Henry smiled fondly down at him before turning to Faith. “We talked about Greyhounds, but we worried it would be too cold in New York. Or that the dog wouldn’t handle us being away very well.”

“Greyhounds usually do have abandonment issues but Whippets are usually better about it, being watchdogs. And any dog you get won’t handle being alone too badly since you have another dog.”

Henry nodded and Alex grinned. “That’s why we’re doing this! So David won’t have to be alone, right?”

Henry sighed, rolling his eyes but quickly returning his attention to Faith. “And the colder weather?”

“Well, they’re not meant to be kept outside, but that’s not really a problem for you.” She paused before turning a smirk to Alex, whispering loudly to Henry behind her hand. “They also wear sweaters very well.”

Alex gasped loudly, getting the pup very excited. “HENRY WE CAN DRESS HER UP IN LITTLE SWEATERS!”

Faith laughed and Henry sighed again, feigning annoyance but with a twinkle in his eye.

Alex put the puppy down and let her run around as Henry talked through more details with Faith.

“She’s three years old. Been here for almost a year after her previous owners moved to an apartment that didn’t allow dogs. Oh, and her name is Evie!”

Alex’s head snapped to them, looking at Henry. “We could call her Stevie. Like Stevie Nicks!”

Henry’s jaw dropped for a second and then he threw his head back and laughed.

From that, their fates were sealed.

Bringing her home was carefully orchestrated and anxiously accomplished.

Henry had googled it, obviously.

Faith had given them tips but Henry needed a checklist in front of him to calm his nerves. Alex could understand that.

They parked in front of the brownstone (Alex had no idea how Cash always kept this spot open for them) and Alex took Stevie carefully out of the car, setting her on the sidewalk pavement, a Hufflepuff leash clipped to her new collar. They’d decided she was a Hufflepuff.

Alex let her sniff around, familiarizing herself with the environment, while Henry ran inside. She watched him go, whining a little bit, but Alex crouched down to pat her head and she was fine again.

She was getting very invested in the tree planted on the curb when Henry emerged again with David, who came bounding down the steps, panting happily toward Alex.

Step one: introduce dogs while on leashes.

Stevie pulled back, startled, darting behind Alex’s legs and straining at her leash. Alex crouched down, reaching behind himself with one hand to pat her distressed little head, even while using his other hand to greet an excited David. “Hey there, buddy! What’s up, you doing okay?”

David’s tail went nuts as Alex scratched behind his ears. He fell onto his back and showed Alex his belly.

This show of submission brought Stevie sniffing around, tangling Alex in her leash in the process.

When David saw the newcomer he rolled back to his feet and strained on his own leash to try and get a sniff of her.

“Whoa there, mate,” Henry said, pulling on David’s leash. “Gently, now.”

Alex untangled himself from Stevie’s leash and pulled her tight to his chest. The list Henry had said to let her come around on her own but she was shaking! Alex had to hold her.

“David,” he started, looking at the beagle then back to his new baby. “This is Stevie. She’s your sister now. And she’s smaller than you, so be nice.”

He kissed her on the head and then put her down between his crouched knees so she could still feel safe.

She backed into him a little but sniffed back when David got close to her. She took a couple steps away from Alex, getting better access to David’s butt.

“There’s a special gland there, you know,” Alex told Henry as they watched the dogs meet.

“Yes, Alex, I do.” Henry answered. Alex glanced up to see the nervous crease in his forehead.

“Hey,” Alex said, coming to standing. He stepped over the dogs to get closer to Henry, reaching up and rubbing at the crease with his thumb. “It’s going fine.”

Henry took a long breath out. “I know.”

But he was still extremely tense. He was tense when they both dropped their leashes and let the dogs walk around each other freely (step 2). He was tense when they brought the dogs into the house, showing Stevie to her crate and her new food bowls and the other things the PPOs had brought into the house while they’d been doing the emotional labor of introducing the animals (step 3). He was tense right up until the four of them were cuddled together on the couch at the end of the day, watching Bake Off.

Alex and Henry were half on top of each other, their shoulders leaning together in the middle of the couch while David was curled at Henry’s feet and Stevie was hunkered into Alex’s side.

“She was supposed to be David’s mate,” Henry joked, the first joke he’d made since they brought Stevie home.

Alex grinned at him. “I’m cuter than David. I have been trying to get you to admit this for years.”

Henry rumbled a laugh, stretching a bit so he could kiss Alex on the mouth. “You keep thinking that, sweetheart.”

#red white & royal blue #RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE #rwrb #firstprince #oops I wrote a thing #discord exchange

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

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King Falls AM - Episode 9: Jack in the Box Jesus

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Summary: September 1, 2015 - An alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

[podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out— this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading, on your tablet, go down to the King Falls library, and check out the real thing! Instead of texting your BFF, go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s! and have a face-to-face chat. This isn’t as bad as it seems— and it could be a blessing in disguise.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM—

Ben —That’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy And this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls Electrolocaust.

Ben This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career.

Sammy It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you, and everyone out there listening, for the continuing support of the show.

Ben We got another doozy of a show for you tonight, King Falls. During hour two, we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects the shut down has had on business.

Sammy As well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening.

Ben I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule. Our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks!

Sammy [sympathetic] I know, buddy.

Ben I would literally watch Channel 13 if given the chance.

Sammy Wow. That’s saying a lot.

Ben [softly] I need my life back.

Sammy King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or— are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold?

Ben I’d listen to boy bands, to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pog collection,[1] if you give me five minutes with my email.

Sammy Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down at the library, and I haven’t called you out on it!

Ben That’s calling me out on it.

Sammy Eh-Well- and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @kingfallsam. I’m not saying I don’t miss it but, I’m enjoying this a little bit.

Ben ♫It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with yoouu♫[2]

Sammy The references are not gonna bring back your goods.

Ben [hurt] Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system.

[bg music being provided by Chet’s record player]

Sammy You’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Yeeaah, I wanna talk about the outages.

Sammy Cynthia Higgenbaum, ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis?

Cynthia [blissful] I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous!

Ben *chuckling* Whoa, heh, that’s- that’s a heck of a change!

Cynthia [suddenly aggressive] What are you trying to say, Ben?

Sammy It’s just you’re usually- you’ve been a little… pessimistic in the past.

Cynthia [mostly calm again] Ohhh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is perusing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching— I’m at peace! It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus, with Jesus back and all—

Ben [jokingly suggestive] 50 Shades of Cynthia

Cynthia [angrily] Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I Know Your Mother!

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Cynthia— did you just say that Jesus is back?

Cynthia [gossipy tone] Have you guys not heard the news?

Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus?

Cynthia There’s only one.

Sammy Wellll, I think Mexico would disagree, but please tell us why you think Jesus—

Cynthia [snappy] I don’t think Sammy, I know! [softer] Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack in the Box.[3]

Ben The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue?

Cynthia Ew, nobody does to Red Oak.

Sammy [softly] Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus.

Cynthia Oh, Hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited—

Sammy Oh, I- I mean- I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to, uh—

Cynthia Tell it to Satan! In Hell, Sammy! [hangs up forcefully]

[dial tone]

Ben This is big.

Sammy [slightly reluctant] If you or someone you know has had a sighting of *clears throat, Ben laughs* Jack in the Box Jesus please give us a call. Uh, 424-279-3858

Ben You’re on King Falls AM.

Deputy Troy Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in.

Ben Not what I was thinking.

Sammy What do you know Troy?

Deputy Troy Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Yack[sic] in the Box around 9. So, I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on— there he was.

Sammy Now, are you really telling us that— [still reluctant] you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings bangin around outside the Jack In The Box?

Deputy Troy Well, he was a man. Somebody’s son, no doubt. Bearded. Good lookin’, if-if you’re into that sort of thing. He had a robe on—

Ben [cutting in]We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black?

Deputy Troy He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really.

Sammy The man had an aura around him.

Deputy Troy It was shinier than a damn Fukushima foxhound, fellas. Like, I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I- I didn’t want to be cliché.

Sammy Alright, Troy. So, work with us here; you’re in the back of the Jack in the Box, there’s a uh, a Jesus-type guy—

Deputy Troy Just-a-ramblin’ on.

Ben Speaking in— tongues?

Deputy Troy Speaking in somethin. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snyder’s daughter.

Sammy So what happened next?

Deputy Troy Well a group of looky-loos had descended, as I said, and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I start ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody— Roy Higgins if you gotta know/— hollered out “It’s Jesus!” and the whole parking lot just went bonkers!

Ben Well, di-did you speak to the guy?

Deputy Troy Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz. And he shouldn’t be squawling around like a little baby.

Ben No, Jack in the Box Jesus.

Deputy Troy Oh, well no. I- I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods, I suspect.

Sammy Did you follow him?

Deputy Troy Sammy. So you’re tellin me that you’d follow a 6-foot-tall and glowing perp into the woods??

Sammy [muttered] Point taken.

Ben So any other sightings?

Deputy Troy Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could’a had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet, too? That’s pretty damn impressive.

Sammy Is there an APB out or anything?

Deputy Troy For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad. Just acting a fool— Lord forgive me— where he shouldn’t’a been.

Ben And glowing.

Deputy Troy That’s right.

Sammy Well, please let us know if get any more info on this, Troy. We’d appreciate it.

Deputy Troy You bet. I’ll be sure to keep you boys and the listenin’ public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus? Do not approach, bother or pester. You just call up Ol’ Deputy Troy.

[hangs up]

Ben …or your local church. [dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy!

Ben Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this

Sammy What? Ads pay the bills remember?

Ben Folks, as a workaround with all the tech issues, uh, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors- uh, new and old. Emphasis on Old, after this one.

Sammy Okay, so the audio is bad.

Ben *sucks in breath* You could say that.

Sammy This company’s paid up! They’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks. Let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks.

[slow, creepy xylophone music]

Carl [voice is soft and creepy, like you expect from a guy who offers kids candy from the back of a van] Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in. [whispering] It’ll be our little secret.- A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste. Come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it! *Ben groaning “oh no”* Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just cause they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doe’n’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parents’ permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens]

Deputy Troy [through megaphone] Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone.

Carl I gotta go! Catch ya later [tires squealing]

Ben [desperate, in bg] The mic!

[sirens fade out]

Sammy … Never again.

Ben I tried to tell you.

Sammy I know. Let’s never speak about this.

Ben [whispering] I need a shower.

Sammy *sigh* …Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour, just off Main Street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of–

Ben [slightly gruff impression] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years!”[4]

Sammy *chuckles* Right, let’s go to the phone lines.

Ben [happily] That was good though right?

Sammy It was good. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Reverend Hawthorne Ask and ye shall receive! King Falls-uh. It is the gooD Reverend Xavier “Right. With. Gaawwd-uh” Hawthorne.

Ben Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town?

Reverend Hawthorne [speaking over Ben] The One and Only, and we are turnin’ the wagons arounD as we speaK-uh. And we’re headin’ back to my flocK-uh. How’re y’all feelin’ tonighT, King Falls- I said How are you, Feelin’!

Sammy [softly] We’re feeling alright.

Reverend Hawthorne Praise GoD-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, uh-just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a SighTing. A Vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city.

Sammy Yeah, about 9 o’clock here.

Reverend Hawthorne Could it Be-uh! that our 5-week-revival worked. Could it Be-uh! that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen!

Ben Reverend Hawthorne we—

Reverend Hawthorne Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a Mountain of Sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most Highly Favored, Congregation bacK to the promised land. Gimme some organ, Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in bg]

Sammy [aside] Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case?

Ben This is getting good.

Reverend Hawthorne Play it dirty, brother. We are going Home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! … Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the E-ternal Sal-vation; [organ goes silent] [softly] are ya saved?

Sammy I’m—

Reverend Hawthorne Then let me tell y’all, [organ starts again] because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town. One weekend only, the Xavier “Right with GoD-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ bacK into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get One- On- One with the Risen Christ and start preparin’ for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you TurnT uP With GoD-uh. [click, dial tone]

Sammy Xavier? Hello?

Ben He’s, gone. Sammy.

Sammy Well, you heard it here first folks. Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack in the Box Jesus make his stage debut?

Ben [muttering] Tch- Jesus.

Sammy Literally.

Ben Do you think we could get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or-

Sammy Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben.

Ben Tsk. I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy.

Sammy What a perfect place to make a return: a rinky-dink town with no internet.

Ben Line- [muttered] dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Archie Good evenin’ fellas!

[small dogs barking in bg]

Sammy Is thi-

Archie It’s Archie Simmons!

Ben He-ey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth?

Archie Well, I do have news concernin’ the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back.

Sammy About the werewolves?

Archie Correct.

Sammy Wow. I mean, you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf.

Archie And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed.

Sammy I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie.

Archie *giggles* You silly Sally, Troy’s on his way over now

Ben Why the change of heart, Archie?

Archie Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, and let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack in the Box?

Archie [softly] Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with.

Sammy [dryly] Uh-huh.

Archie Plus, with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this.

Ben You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie?

Archie She’s in a delicate condition.

Sammy Oh, of course. I mean she’s been through a lot.

Archie *giggles* No Sammy, I mean she’s with child. Ch-children. Puppies? There’s a bun in my $2400 oven boys!

Sammy Wait. She’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack?!

Archie [softly again] Well, that’s the thing. While I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think…

Ben What. What do you think Archie?

Archie I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on.

Sammy You don’t think it was the werewolves.

Archie I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired, bearded man in a Biblical Act— Yeah I-I- I think- there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs.

Ben [stern] Upstairs from whom?

Archie Mankind! Come on Ben, get with the picture!

Sammy He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight- which we should all be a little bit doubtful of- then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega.

Ben No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon.

Archie I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into.

Ben No way. This is ludicrous.

Archie You just wait and see Ben! The princess may have lost her Westminster dreams, but it was all part of God’s plan.

Ben We’ve got to go Archie *laughs* you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM.

Archie Judge Not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians[sic] 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy You know? When I walk in the door every night I say to myself, “Nothing’s gonna surprise me tonight” And more times than not, I am just Dead Wrong.

Ben Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy, the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy *chuckles* Not a bad idea Ben.

[phone pings]

Ben What? *gasps* My phone! [several pings] OHH it’s back baby!

Sammy Me too! What’s going on?

[pinging continues]

Ben What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs.

Sammy Hey, I’ve got a text here, Unknown Number.

Ben Okay, what does it say?

Sammy “I- I know why this happened. I know how to stop it. We need to talk“

Ben What?

Sammy No, that’s what the text said.

Ben You don’t think this has anything to do with… Thank You, Jesus.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] Pogs - Pogs, generically called milk caps, is a game that was popular among children during the early-mid 1990s. The name pog originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange, and guava; the use of POG bottle caps to play the game preceded the game's commercialization.

[2] “It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you” - Lyrics to the song “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by NSYNC, an American boy band from the mid-90s

[3] Jack in the Box - American fast food chain, primarily along the west coast and southern states.

[4] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” - lyrics to the song “Mama Said Don’t Knock You Out” by LL COOL J (also came out in the 90s)

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep9 #cynthia higgenbaum #mayor grisham #troy krieghauser #archie simmons #jack in the box jesus #reverend hawthorne

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