i hope u dont mind the ask bc ur tags opened more cans of worms and i cannot reblog this one post 50 times kdjfhgkdhg
this close,,,,,,, god,,,,,,,,,,,, on reread the Enemy of the Story arc hits so much fucking worse because that was the time he WANTED to live and that too he wanted to live with THEM, he wanted an ending where everyone was happy and alive and he could finally picture himself there too. he could've sacrificed himself all over again but this time he actually tried,,, even collaborated with yjh,,, he TRIED,,, he was ready to go to the epilogue TOGETHER
but then the subway doors opened and he saw a young boy sitting on a bench......... and he couldn't forgive him. all that progress shattered because the guilt drove him insane,,, he could've found a compromise w the fourth wall, maybe. there were other options. but he didnt want the other options. he wanted to atone. OUGHHHH MY CATHOLIC GUILT-RIDDEN BABYGIRL
"MY CATHOLIC GUILT-RIDDEN BABY GIRL" why is this one of the most accurate statements ever made about kdj
AND YOU GET IT. YOU GET IT.
he wanted to live,, he forgave himself (kinda. as much as he can.) but he just couldn't forgive the boy on the bench. he was LITERALLY confronted with his inner child and wanted to kill him im
FUCK i just. ough.
he forgave a part of him. but he couldn't forgive himself, entirely. wait shit is this why he goddamn split im going to give myself a concussion
look im high on caffeine and its 4am. my brain is just turned into mush that occasionally begins breaking out in sobs when presented with kim dokja. however if his fuckin inability to forgive all parts of himself is the reason why he split himself im going to jump out of a window /j
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I have cleaned my desk and my bedside locker!
maybe laundry next? maybe dishes? maybe blanket pile. all of those are good options
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Weeded the garden, changed the bedsheets, vacuumed, dusted, picked up a package from the post office, did my grocery shopping, planted some kale, cooked AND spend a lot of time doing nothing much. A true win
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fruit, water, fresh air, reading 40 pages of a novel, watching my dog chase birds
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haha so weird how Ruby like actually smiled and joked around in this episode haha she's FINE she's CURED so weird how when she has an immediate solvable problem in front of her, her voice rises half an octave and visible signs of sadness and stress are crushed beneath her boot melt away
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