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#damian acts like a kid
chaparro0456 · 1 month
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I like to think that Damian isn’t trusted to have his own phone so he constantly steal his older brothers phones
Tim: I’m starting to run out of phone storage
Bruce:then delete the apps you don’t use
Tim:I can’t
Bruce: why
Tim:baby bats got mad at me when I delate a few of his apps games so he switched my coffee supply with decaf coffee
Bruce: oh how that go
Tim:I slept for 12 hours straight
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Jason working on his motorcycle in the batcave he went to check his phone
Jason: god dammit not again Damian give it back
Damian is chilling in the vents playing among us
Jason: Damian where the hell are you
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Dick is the only that doesn’t mind Damian bowers his phone however he does mind when Damian just hangs up incoming calls
Damian face timing Jon: ugh hold on this guy keeps calling again it’s annoying
Dick sighing: you can’t hang up my incoming call
Damian: they should know there being rude I’m face timing Kent
Dick looks over who’s calling and panic : shit shit shit give me the phone give me my phone
Dick take the phone away from Damian
Damian: hey I was using it
Dick: how many times you hang up on the caller
Damian still reaching for the phone: I stop counting after the 10th call
Dick: you hang up on my boss 10 times!
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After a few more times Bruce bought Damian an iPad but its age restricted so Damian still sometimes steals his big brothers phone
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rad-batson · 8 months
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Bruce, breaking up a fight between Jason and Tim: If you two don't stop arguing, I'm going to have a cow!
Damian: I have a cow!
Bruce: I know, Damian.
Damian: Her name is Batcow :)
Bruce: I know, Damian.
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dc-and-damirae · 1 year
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damian: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.
tim : What?
damian: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?
dick:
tim:
jason: to the death
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webshood · 2 months
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Duke Thomas is actually the Wayne's family pretty boy.
He's a genius of his own, one of the smartest people in the family, his meta powers are like no other and despite being the one who does the day shift he's handling vigilantism, school and his newfound modeling career in stride.
Duke started modeling, because the Wayne family doesn't actually have a public nepobaby. Dick is a cop, Jason is legally still dead by his own request, Cass is not the biggest fan of the media, Steph is technically not a part of the family and Tim is already their corporate nepobaby, Damian is still a kid, so Duke had to take in the reins and assume the role of "famous person who only got that far, due to his family".
He was hesitant about it at first not sure if he could pull it off, but slowly with Bruce as backing and the Wayne Enterprises public relations department on call, he's been recognized as a nepobaby. He's doing every type of publicity, fashion photoshoots, he was Coca-Cola's face for six months, he's the one with a Samsung exclusivity partnership, he's always attending the met gala, going on movie premieres.
People are tired of seeing his face everywhere, when he got cast on the role of a originally white character, the internet was in shambles they were throwing tantrums and screaming about accuracies, but all of that got overshadowed by him appearing on Forbes with Bruce on a father and son photoshoot, where Bruce called him "the son who takes after me the most, he has an aura that attracts every camera on the room, he's like a beam of light."
People got even more pissed with it, after all Bruce isn't even his real dad what does he mean with "who takes after me the most"??? Is he that stupid? Dear god, how can these people have this much money and act like that
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bonchobrick · 1 year
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Dead on Main au where Jason is of course Danny’s Fright Knight and like all knights do he has a weapon—except it’s his gun.
The batfam + justice league + everyone (except ghosts duh) don’t know that his normal average everyday gun is actually like a super powerful spiritual soul shooter that is, yaknow, capable of blasting someone into an alternate dimension where their greatest fears become real.
So imagine there’s like a big battle where a ghastly ghoul reigns terror on Gotham. The world sends their best hero’s—wizards and occultists are notably high highest in demand—to stop the ghost but, nothing works. All of the weapons and spells and chants fail.
But,
As the fights worsens and the heros scream for people to flee suddenly--
Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground. Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a ghostbusters t-shirt plaid pants bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas--as if annoyed at being woken up and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost.
His brothers screech at him yelling ”Are you insane” and to "get the hell out of here" in fear and panic because their idiot brother is trying to kill a real life ghost with a damn gun.
But then Jason shoots the ghost and it works.
The ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.
The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before taking out a thermos of all things and sucking the ghost into it.
Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.
Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions
Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”
“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold
Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”
“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off." Jason replies plain
They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating gotham chill' probably because he did just that.
Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very inteligently says, "What?"
Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."
"How did being a vigilante and also probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks
Jason sends him a look saying "are you an idiot" as he replies, "Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all powerful spirit weapon--No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”
Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"
"The--" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."
Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."
"What?!" His family screech in panic
"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."
"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands for an answer
Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really dont dont know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."
Bruce levels him with a stare that says "you think?"
Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"
pause
Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."
"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute--" Jason says distant in his own world
"Theres a afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family
"Yea its pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, I now im his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh and i got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin
"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods
"I know right?" Jason chirps
"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand
Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know your basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"
John only sighs and leaves
"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and thats how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"
Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; sobbing hysterically, interogating jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or sleeping would be a better use of his time.
Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"
Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving shit.
As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"
Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reasuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down
Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it
"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in
He crashes down on an unbelievably comfortable bed
Danny blinks blearily before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"
Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."
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Edit: UMM HII The fic is out now here!! you guys are awesome I'll post the new chapter 2 in a hot sec after editting ^^
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welcometogrouchland · 4 months
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months
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Clone^2 Damian
If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.
And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?
Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.
And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.
But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.
After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.
And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.
And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.
This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.
But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.
He wants to go home.
And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.
And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.
And it's not happening.
But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.
And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.
But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.
And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.
There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.
And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.
This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?
And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.
Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.
And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.
"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.
"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.
And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.
That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.
It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dpxdc crossover#clone^2#like god can you imagine how scared he must've been? how afraid? he just wants his mom - only to realize he doesnt even matter to her#dpxdc au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#this poor kid man. no wonder he latched onto danny the moment he gave up on the league like a leech. he's a six year old kid man and#it doesnt matter how smart he is or how mature he acts. he still is six years old. he still needs that validation and affection from adults#or from people older than him. and his emotional needs were just not being met in the league.#cue the song “two” from sleeping at last - some of their songs are very clone^2 honestly.#'sweetheart you look a little tired. when did you last eat? come in and make yourself right at home. stay as long as you need.'#'tell me is something wrong? if something's wrong you can count on me'#'its okay if you can't find the words. let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders'#'like a force to be reckoned with. am i the ocean or a gentle kiss. i will love you with every single thing i have'#'like a tidal wave i'll make a mess. or calm waters if that serves you best'#'i will love you without any strings attached'#like just. just *imagine* being in damian's shoes during all of this. he's *six* you guys. i've worked with six year olds and they're#pretty independent but they're still six. they get excited when they see their parents and they get upset when an adult is angry with them.#they're still developing their motor skills. they're still developing everything else!
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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Do I find Damian incredible annoying? Yes Will I fight every single motherfucker who resumes his entire character to violent and 'bad'? Also Yes.
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whywoulditho · 7 days
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I really think we deserve a random panel of damian wayne going to the bathroom with a water bottle in his hand. just for fun
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chaparro0456 · 1 month
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Tim: So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room
Damian stole a full grown elephant from the zoo 
Damian: His name is Dumbo if we’re going to talk about
Bruce: Damian you have returned the elephant
Damian : HIS NAME IS DUMBO AND IM GOING TO TRAIN HIM TO FLY AND RIDE INTO BATTLES !
Dumbo does a war cry !
Damian: he has a heart of a warrior!
Jason: I blame dick for this
Dick: why me ?!
Jason: You’re the one that keeps showing him Disney movies
Dick: Sorry for trying to give a regular children movies and not the Braveheart movie
Jason: It’s a good movie !
Bruce : Damian you can’t keep dumbo
Damian: you may take my life but never take my freedom!
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himejoshiangels · 1 month
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this progression...they mean so much to me u don't understand..
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cleromancy · 3 months
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lmao anytime someones like "the only batkids that have an ACTUAL sibling relationship are--" qnd then they say LITERALLY ANY OF THEM BUT DICK AND TIM i know they have absolutely nothing of value to say. about anything. bitch that was like 15 years of textually established thoroughly depicted brotherhood absolutely no iffiness no hedging no maybes, dick was tims brotjer before bruce even adopted dick in dicks 20s and well before jack even died. educate urself 😤
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zeroducks-2 · 11 months
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Where did canon SladexTalia even come from? Were they always some sort of fuck buddies or is it a retcon? And what's going on with Talia's 'oooh I don't know who's Damian's father. maybe it's Bruce 😙 or maybe it's Slade😘hehe' *groan* that was so cringy. And why did she want to have a child with Slade? It was so sudden and came out of nowhere. I just can't get my head around it.
If you mean this
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It comes from the fact that Christopher Priest is an absolute troll.
So basically Slade and Talia have a fling in Deathstroke Rebirth, the run written by Priest in 2016 (the same that gave us Slade sleeping with Joseph's fiancée and killing a dog for no reason, yeah that run is wild) and at some point Talia puts out there the notion that Damian might not be Bruce's son, but actually Slade’s (since apparently they used to have a fling back then too).
Now this is obviously a retcon, and it obviously makes no sense. If we go by the original version, Talia got pregnant while she and Bruce where together but she had a miscarriage - or so she told Bruce, because actually the child survived and Damian was born. Later on this was changed with the more famous, more spicy controversial version in which Talia drugged and raped Bruce to get herself impregnated (or to get Bruce's semen and grow Damian in vitro. Depends on the version).
In both cases there's no way the child can be anyone's but Bruce: in the first it's because she got preggered by him while they were having a relationship and it's a situation where she could have not been seeing anyone else (not even behind Bruce's back), and in the second case because why in the fudge should she have gone through all the trouble of drugging and raping the man only to NOT have a child with him and instead having it with Slade? Like WTF.
Also I recall that when Damian initially appeared, Bruce ran dna tests to make sure the boy was actually his, obviously. Imagine the world's greatest detective and the most paranoid man alive taking "btw this is your son bye" at face value.
So why the whole "Slade might be Damian's dad" thing? As I mentioned because Priest is a troll or so I'm inclined to believe. He really did not want to write Deathstroke Rebirth, and what way is there to piss fans off more than putting into question their beloved biological link between Batman and his bLoOd sOn (I love Damian but some fans and some DC writers alike tend to be a tiny little bit excessive over the whole "batman's son" thing, like calm down bro you're the ones pushing for a nuclear family dynamic for the whole "batfamily", but somehow at the same time Damian is Bruce's only "real" son like what the hell is wrong with you).
As my ex housemate once said, it would have been fucking funny if Slade was Damian's father in that timeline, even if it didn't make a lick of sense, just because everyone was losing their collective shit. But regardless if Priest did it to troll people, or if it was just a lame way to create some drama-driven plot, there was no way they were going to actually allow him to canonize it.
If there's anything about it in other comics beside Deathstroke Rebirth I am not familiar with them.
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dick-the3rd · 1 year
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I find very nice how after Jason's death Robin became an urban legend.
Like, how the myth status was just another thing Bruce found to avoid people and criminals targeting Robin. Tim frequently goes out of his way to make sure he's never credited for his heroic acts. You see this when he first met Superboy, then over and over again in Young Justice. Even the way criminals first reaction upon seeing Robin is 'I thought you were a myth!'
Before that Robin was always on the papers, I mean, even caught on camera! That's how Tim found out about their identities! But later he's just... Gone. No one is even sure if Robin really exist.
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damnianalghulnotwayne · 8 months
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y’all i can’t find any non-ooc damian fanfics (ill admit i’ve let a lot slide bc content is hard to come by that doesn’t make him COMPLETELY ooc, so if it’s only a bit i turn a blind eye) DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD RECOMMENDATIONS
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jasontoddenthusiastt · 11 months
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Absolutely hysterical (the implication that Jason ever perceived Damian as such an irredeemable and dangerous threat to the Gotham population the way any of the rogues or drug kingpins are, and that Jason would’ve tried to kill him following this reasoning).
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