#did that shit for about 9 months man I dont think another 6 weeks is gonna make a difference | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

words-for-holland · 4 years

Text

Happier (9) | T.H

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N & Tom seem to be in the process of rebuilding their relationship. Natalie is up to no good. How much more can Y/N & Tom take?

Masterlist

A/N: Ive been reading all your responses lately and I appreciate them so much! Im so glad you’re all still on this crazy dramatic ride! Thank you so much for reading and supporting!

Spontaneity

There are certain moments in your life where things go according to plan, and others when they dont...but those are the best kinds. The moments that happen because it feels right and everything just falls into place. After all, everything happens for a reason.

It had been three weeks since Tom and Y/N had their heart to heart, promising to find Unknown together along with Harrison and Harry. While there were no threats taking place, one could never be too careful. The more they waited, the more vulnerable they became, letting down their guard ever so slightly.

Everyone kept a close eye on Natalie, but she convinced them enough to think she was on their side and the PR had nothing to do with Unknown. Show the boys one made up threat message from Unknown and you gained most of their trust. Tom had asked Natalie to stop the PR for the sake of mending his broken relationship with Y/N. She told him that her and her publicist agreed to put it on hold...but kept no promise of stopping it forever.

Natalie’s mother was getting furious, not happy with how her daughter handled the situation. “I told you to keep Y/N away, you insolent girl. You are ruining everything and your chance with Tom.”, she spat through the phone.

Natalie listened to her mother’s rant, rolling her eyes. “Relax mother.” She says sourily. “This is just the beginning. Y/N wont know what hit her and after this...She’s going to wish she never came back to London.” She hangs up the phone smirking as she goes through fan accounts that continued to spark the PR flame.

Meanwhile as the three weeks passed Tom & Y/N had slowly rebuilt their relationship. Occasional glances and banters left their tongue, subtle compliments were thrown out, and it almost seemed as if things would be back just the way they were. Even more so, one day in the kitchen. Y/N was making dinner the for the group as she took the time to cut the asparagus and broccoli. Tom passed by her, as he saw her lose herself in the soft music playing in the background, singing to herself all while still being focused on the food.

He leaned against the doorway and continued to observe her, admiring how cute she looked with her hair up and how sweet her voice sounded with the music. It almost made him think why she didn’t pursue a career in music instead of business. “Wow.” Tom muttered under his breath.

His voice must have been too loud, since Y/N looked up startled, but all the more happy to see the man she once loved..and still does deep down. “Oh..I didn’t see you there.” She giggles. “Don’t worry I’ll stop singing in the kitchen. I know how you guys are when I get into it.”

Tom quickly shook his head as he came closer to her, smiling back. “No. You don’t have to. I think your voice sounds lovely. I mean the kitchen’s got great acoustics.” He laughs nervously. Tom can’t remember the last time he felt so nervous with her, but in the good type of nervous. The type of feeling, one gets when they’re in front of their crush and all the butterlies in their stomach start fluttering. “You just sound and look so beautiful.” He admits, sheepishly.

“Thomas Stanley Holland are you trying to flirt with me?” She asks amused at his attempt pointing the knife at him from a safe distance.

“Am not.” He dramatically answers. “I can’t compliment a friend, who happens to be really beautiful.” Y/N shies away hiding her face, by looking down at the cutting board. “I mean it. I really do think you’re beautiful, even if you dont think like that.”

“Well..I’m definitely no model or Natalie, since the people say you both are London’s to die for couple.” She says bitterly.

Tom rolls his eyes as he takes her hand. “Hey..I told you we stopped it for now and Natalie agreed. You know, I get that we all have our suspicions of her after everything, but she said and proved she was a victim herself. Plus Unknown’s been quiet for the past three weeks.” Y/N scoffs at his defense for Natalie as she heads to the stove with Tom following right behind her. He taps on her should as she reluctantly turns to look at him. “I am only ever going to have feelings for you.” Tom confesses. In this moment their faces are inches apart, eyes are slowing moving down to their lips and back up to their eyes, breaths slowing, and just when it seemed like everything would fall into place, both quickly turn away clearing their throats

Y/N calms her heartbeat as she stirs the pasta while Tom helps stir the sauce. The room was quiet only the sound of bubbling from the pots filling the room. It only took five seconds before they both turned back to each other quickly connecting their lips. The fever and the passion increasing rapidly with every touch and pull. The warmth coming from their breaths and the tingling feeling everytime their lips touched. It was like coming back from an addicition you had quit for so long but craved every single time. They couldn’t stop no matter how wrong this was right now, but it felt so right so spontaneous, so in the moment.

Tom quickly signaled her to jump and did as she told, wrapping her legs around his toned torso, cupping her hands under his jaw. He pushed her back against the kitchen wall, as he slow let on of his hands linger under her shirt. It may have been months apart, but both knew exactly what the other needed and how to handle it. Almost as if it were instinctive. They were in complete bliss, forgetting the world around them. Until, the pasta water started overflowing on the stove.

Y/N opened her eyes and quickly pushed Tom away. “Shit. The food.” She yells out, jumping from Tom’s embrace. Both of them tried to calm their heart rate and Tom stood their watching Y/N, smiling at what had just happened. For once he had his girl back, and everything felt normal. Y/N looks at him, giggling. “What?” She asks.

“Nothing.” He replies, grinning like a little boy. “I’ve waited to do that for so long.”

Y/N blushes at his statement, as she sets up the table with the food. “Come on. It’s time to eat.”

Life seemed surreal after her encounter with Tom. Y/N told herself that it was a one time thing until they found Unknown. She didnt want to put anyone at risk especially both her’s and Tom’s heart. But everytime she told herself, the more she got lost in Tom. Every stolen moment, stolen kisses, stolen touch...he always had a way of making her forget. So while she vowed to herself that it would stop, her heart simply couldn’t. Tom was right, there was no PR, no text messages, no insane fan account rumor. Natalie hadn’t even bothered either of them, always focused on her own thing, and truthfully seemed a lot nicer when she came forth about being a victim of Unknown. The questions came to Y/N’s mind. Why should she have to live in fear? Why not just live in the moment?

It was a slow night. Harrison had spent the weekend at his mother’s while Harry did the same. Tom and Y/N were the only ones that roamed aroundthe house. While Natalie spent her time contemplating everything. Her initial plan to crush Y/N when she least expected was approaching ever so quickly after all the time it took to set up. Within that time, she had gotten to know Y/N and Tom even more so a part from the hatred and the jealousy. For a second...just a second, she considered not to follow through. But her mother’s words and the thought of losing her chances with Tom overtook her the moment she saw the two fall in love all over again. Her suspicions only became worse when she recirved a text from her mother.

Unknown

Just remember, your acting career and your dreams depend on Tom. If you want Tom to choose you, you better get rid of the girl stealing your chances.

Filled with worry, Natalie quickly grabbed her things and made her way out the door.

Meanwhile, Tom and Y/N continued to spend time in each others arms everywhere they went in the house. They settled on the couch, Tom’s stong hands wrapping around her torso as Y/N curled herself into Tom. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” She whispers to him.

Tom hums at the idea, smiling wide. “Me too.” He brings her soft lips to his, letting them linger for a couple seconds more. “Do you really enjoy staying in the guest room?” Tom asks.

Y/N looks up at him, with curious eyes. “I mean yeah it’s okay. Why?”

Tom takes a deep breath before asking, “Well...I was uh wondering, if you didn’t like it as much there, you could..maybe stay with me...again.” He suggested muttering the last word. Tom smiled nervously, as he observes Y/N’s emotions. She was calm like the sea before a storm.

Y/N smiles at his offer, but shakes her head. “Mmm..it’s okay. Im fine where I am, but thank you for the generous offer.” She responds, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah...I guess I should have seen that coming.” Tom admits, his face showing signs of disappointment.

Y/N pouts her lips, and lifts her small hand to move a piece of his hair. “Hey..believe me. I want to but nows the not the time..at least not yet. One day, I promise.” She whispers leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. “C’mon we got another day tomorrow. I’m gonna head into my room for a bit.”

“I’ll come up later just wanna make a call to Harrison.” Tom replies. Y/N looks at him and smiles as she nods and heads back up to her room.

As the night came to an end, Y/N took the time to unwind with a book in hand when her phone went off. Her face dropped when she saw the messages.

Pictures of Natalie out and about wearing Tom’s clothes and jewlery, smiling into the sun and enjoying her day out with friends. Gossips left and right from fans and media, talking about how adorable it was that Natalie was the type of girlfriend to steal her boyfriends clothes because it looks cuter on her. Y/N knew deep down it wasn’t true but the words and pictures taunted her. Slowly and surely, she started to get mad, furious that Natalie would start the flame again out of nowhere when she promised Tom they would stopped. Another message popped up for Y/N, and it was from someone she so willingly prayed it wouldnt be who she thought.

Unknown

Doesn’t she look cute in his clothes. Probably better than you ever could. BTW..where is lover boy? 😉

Y/N throws her phone against the wall, pissed more than ever. She should have known this was going to happen. Y/N contemplated the message, she wondered what the text meant. After all Unknown seeemed to know more about everyone here better than they knew themselves. Y/N slowly went downstairs only to hear whispering coming from the kitchen. She couldn’t make out the exact words but she could identify the voice. It was Tom and Natalie? She took a peak at the kitchen where the two stood facing each other. Y/N couldn’t make out Tom’s face but she could see Natalie’s very clearly. “Kiss me.” Natalie whispers, as she quickly places her lips on Tom’s cradling his neck, but Tom didn’t stop. The moment his eyes opened up to see Y/N’s he pushed Natalie off with all his might.

Y/N standing there in shock and sadness. Her eyes tearing up, her breaths shortening. She shakes her head, as she replays the disturbing image in her mind. “Y/N... it’s not what it looks like.” Tom quickly defends, trying to reach for Y/N as she steps back. Natalie observing the two, a slight smirk forming across her face. “I swear it was for the PR and movie.” He yells out, trying to chase her.

Y/N whips back as she faces Tom, the angriest she has ever been with him. “Who are you putting a show for in this house? Me? Because I sure as hell didn’t fucking like it one bit. I should have known better.” She spits out, heading up the stairs with Tom following.

“Y/N..please. It didn’t mean anything. I swear. I was put in a compromising position. Please listen to me.” Tom pleads. The door to her room is shut locked, but he stays there waiting and knocking at the door. “Y/N. Don’t do this. Dont walk away. Please just let me explain. You know what we have is special and the moment at the kitchen and everything this past month...”

“Was ruined and a complete and utter mistake. Leave me alone and I swear Tom you even try to get near me I will make sure you never see the light of day. I should have fucking stayed back.” Y/N yells out, sobbing against the door. It was a nightmare, and this time she couldn’t get out. She sat there now realizing, her heart had broken completely for the second time.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager @panicattheeverywherekid @oswinO5 @jillanaholland

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

131 notes · View notes

guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom · 3 years

Text

Hell and Back Pt.1

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader

Warnings: Language, drug use, mentions of death/the dead, parental neglect, mentions of selling hard drugs, brief mention of drugging, self deprecating thoughts, near death.

Word Count: 4.5k

Songs: Trouble Dont Last Always- Rev Timothy Wright, Violent- carolesdaughter, Feel Better- Penelope Scott, Kids- Current Joys, Never (feat. O_super)- Mag.Lo, Weary- Solange, Sleepwalk (Remastered 2010) Santo & Johnny, Dark Red- Steve Lacy, Glitter- 070 Shake.

“‘I wish I could be a religious person. They always seem so happy and carefree. To be able to put that much trust into something or someone. I know you were never religious but your family was. My family isn’t really all that religious but they did always feel like prayer could solve all. I’d been praying my whole life and not one had ever been answered. All my family is a bunch of hypocrites and sinners, but hey hate the sin not the sinner right? Ha yeah right.”

A/N: The part two of this chapter should be out soon and there was only two proof reads sorry for any mistakes.

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

October 13th

‘Dear Rose, This is stupid, this shit is for white people. Wait let me try again.’

I ripped the paper in half. I was trying to do that thing where you write letters to dead people to help you get over their deaths or whatever. I never had a diary and I felt stupid doing this in the first place so it was definitely hard.

I was sitting in one of the queen-sized beds of the hotel room with an empty college-ruled notebook. I heard Bri and MJ go down to get breakfast, but I pretended to be asleep, I wasn’t hungry.

I’d already ripped three pages out but, I was going to do this, I started it and I wasn’t gonna back out now.

‘So I don’t really know why I’m doing this but I miss you, like a lot. I cried last night. For like the first in at least 6 months. I don’t know why I felt that was important, but it was relieving. I’m in the fanciest hotel I’ve ever stayed (legally) at right now. You’d like it. It's just a Marriott but it’s pretty big. I don’t know if I believe in heaven (or a God even), but I truly hope you’re there right now. I know I’m probably not going if it is real. If it is I know you and my mom and everyone else is there and I just don’t want earth to be the last time I saw y’all. I just feel ungrateful because I’m not happy. I’m not happy to be where I am right now. I know I’m better off than almost everyone else in Melrose but I didn’t earn my spot. I lied and cheated my way to where I am.

I remember that one argument we had. The biggest one back when you first started selling. I had the audacity to get mad at you for just trying to provide for your family. Then became everything I despised. I was trying to look back on the “good days”. Which was depressing because looking back at what we thought were goods days were just days that weren’t terrible.

At least when you were selling you never lost yourself. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I just feel burnt out.

Yesterday me and Bri were fooling around in the hotel which was fun so I guess that’s good. I’m tryna stick to the positives of my day. Another good thing was that I found one of Jay’s hoodies in my bag . It’s pretty comfortable. I miss him too. I’m trying not to think about all the people I’ve lost because that list could go on for eternity. I might do this again, I don’t know it doesn’t feel so stupid anymore. I’m burning this note though. I know you always said no one lives forever but why’d you have to go so soon, the good ones always do. If there’s truly life after death tell my mom I love her for me and I love you too.

Sincerely Y/N,’

October 14th 9:03am

‘I wish I could be a religious person. They always seem so happy and carefree. To be able to put that much trust into something or someone. I know you were never religious but your family was. My family isn’t really all that religious but they did always feel like prayer could solve all. I’d been praying my whole life and not one had ever been answered. All my family is a bunch of hypocrites and sinners, but hey hate the sin not the sinner right? Ha yeah right.

I remember Ms. Williams with that stupid “Shoot for the moon and if you miss at least you’ll be among the stars” poster. It was tacky and we were always making fun of it. I never realized how much it bothered me until now though. I’d say I have selective memory if I have any memories at all, but that poster is seared into my mind. I think it might be because I felt like it was mocking me because she knew goddamn well none of us were making it out this city. Let alone ever getting anywhere near the stars. Now, I was the closest to the stars and out of everyone who could've been here it was me. The person who deserves it the least.

Sincerely Y/N,’

October 14th 8:57pm

‘I think the reason I’m still doing this letter thing is because I don’t wanna stop missing you because missing you was better than feeling nothing. I don’t truly think I do anymore. Which sounds bad, but I just mean I’ve gone through the grieving process which I guess means, it’s time to let you go. I’ve never actually gone through a full grieving process without someone else dying in the middle of it. I read this thing once about people having favorite people or a favorite person and I think that was you for me. It means you basically can’t function without that person and when they're not around it makes your emotions go crazy. I don’t really want to say goodbye cause I miss the feeling of you in my life, but when it comes down to it I don’t remember it much. So I guess this is the final goodbye.

Love Y/N, ’

I was getting really fucking tired of Thorn. I was getting tired of Y/N L/N too. Why couldn’t I just exist. I don’t wanna have to be anyone. I just wanna get high and eat fruit snacks damn. but I could never have what I want could I.

I was sitting under some storage containers in a warehouse with all these old white men working on weapons and shit. Waiting for Vulture to come in. He flew into the warehouse I could almost see the anger, radiating off of him before he stepped out of the wings. He looked oddly familiar, if I hadn’t killed off all my brain cells I probably would have made the connection sooner but it got made and that’s all that matters.

The Vulture was Liz’s dad.

This is a fact I could and would be using to my advantage. I pulled out my backup phone and snapped a couple pictures of the people around me as a torn up van pulled up.

A man hopped out and Liz’s dad immediately started yelling at the man about something. He seemed to think it was funny though. Like he was high on adrenaline or something. I caught the words Avengers. Then something about Shocker and getting fired. I’m guessing the Shocker had the same idea as me to tell his family about his business. He picked up the closest weapon and fired it at the man. He instantly crumbled to the floor in ashes. That was nasty as hell.

Now these weapons are wayyyy more dangerous than I thought. He stormed out after bestowing another man the title of Shocker. Then it was only me and the guy working on some weird weapon left. I walked over to him and knocked him out. Taking the anti gravity gun with me and some shiny thing I thought looked cool I placed a tracker with a camera and mic on the Vulture suit before leaving.

That was about two weeks ago. Now, here I was, on the back of the truck of some random company following Vulture around like a lost dog. I should be back at the hotel right now, but I’ve never been known to do what I was supposed to.

He was talking to someone about a plan to steal more fuel for these weapons.

I was hiding behind a dumpster and I accidentally hit something on my way to leave.

I know he saw me.

Fuck.

I didn’t have time to think I was just running and running. I didn’t even realize I was practically hyperventilating until I made it back to the hotel. I didn’t have the key to my room. I must’ve dropped it somewhere.

I dropped it because I’m a dumb fuckup who’s gonna get herself and everyone else killed because I could never do anything right. I’d be better off dead.

I knew Bri and MJ were asleep and I didn’t wanna wake them up. I was sitting by the door trying to keep myself from going into a full blown anxiety attack. I pulled the hood of Jay’s hoodie over my head and pulled my legs up to my chest.

I think I might’ve drifted off for a second because I opened my eyes and Peter was standing over me looking concerned.

“What?” I asked sitting up.

“It’s just,” He brought his hand up to his forehead in confusion “Why are you on the floor? Are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine, what are you doing up?”

“I was just walking around,”

That wasn’t a very clear answer. Suspicious.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Your eyes are puffy,”

“I’m fine, probably just allergies,” He hummed like he didn’t believe my answer.

“You can go back to your room now,” I added since he was still standing there staring at me.

“You still never answered my question on why you were sitting out here on the floor,”

I just ignored him and pulled the hood back over my face.

He slid down on the floor next to me.

“I’m not leaving until you answer me,”

I didn’t feel like talking and honestly? I didn’t want him to leave.

I turned to face him before saying

“Looks like you’re gonna be here for a while then,”

I ended up telling him eventually and he offered to let me stay in his room saying Ned wouldn’t mind. I was too tired to decline the offer.

“Y/N,” I was awakened by Peter shaking my shoulder.

“Hmm?” I hummed.

“You gotta get up,”

I rolled my eyes and pulled the throw blanket back over my head. I would have flipped over but I probably would’ve fell off the couch.

“Everyone else is already at breakfast c’mon,”

He pulled the blanket off of me reeling back when he brushed against my skin.

“Y/N, you’re burning up,”

“Mhm hm,” I hummed again turning onto my side.

“I’m being serious Y/N get up,”

“Ugh, fine” I exclaimed sitting up.

“Do you feel sick?” He asked, touching my forehead again.

“I feel fine,” I said pushing his hand away. “Thank you for letting me stay here but, you seriously need to learn to stop being so repetitive,”

I went downstairs where everyone else was eating breakfast and let MJ and Bri know I was okay.

Now it’s really fucking stupid to smoke pre-rolls if you don’t want to be drugged but last night when I was watching out for Vulture someone offered them to me. Perks of pretty privilege I guess. MJ was all of my impulse control and she wasn’t with me so I smoked it.

And when I tell you this shit was strong I mean it was strong. I have a high tolerance when it comes to weed because I smoke a lot but this hit hard. Surprised I wasn’t shaking. Maybe I was.

Normally you don’t get full body highs from smoking. It’s usually edibles that do that but this wow. Couldn’t tell if this was Indica or Sativa. I thought it was Indica at first but I had too much energy for that. Maybe it was a hybrid if so, that’d explain the fog over my brain.

I wasn’t thinking clearly I knew I shouldn’t get any closer to Peter than I already was, but I was bored.

Now we were on top of some middle school jumping the roofs. I'm pretty sure he was only here because he wanted to keep tabs on me since he found me on the verge of a panic attack last night and currently thinks I’m sick.

“Are you sure this is safe?” He asked.

“Yes it’s safe, don’t be a pussy,” I rolled my eyes “Besides I do it all the time,”

“So you go to D.C and jump to different roofs of a middle school all the time?”

“You know what I meant smartass,” I elbowed him lightly and he laughed.

I laid on my back and shortly after he joined me.

“How do they get shirts so soft,”

“What?”

“I said how do they get shirts so soft,” I sat up.

“I don’t know probably lots of thr-”

“C’mon let’s go down there,” I interrupted pointing at the building before hopping down. Running through the mall looking through almost every store I’d spent about $1,000 just shopping for everyone who came to mind. Eventually I walked into Zumiez with Peter trailing behind me. I was looking at the hoodies by the skateboard rack.

“I always wanted a skateboard as a kid,” He said coming up behind me.

“Pick one,” I nodded my head towards the rack of decks. “I’ll get it for you,”

“ I can’t let you do that,” He said.

“No, I insist,” I laughed at my word choice “That’s a fancy word” I laughed and he laughed too “No but for real, pick a deck and I’ll buy it for you,” He shook his head “I’m not leaving until you do,” I turned his words from the earlier night onto him.

“Fine,” he sighed walking back over to the shelf.

After picking the rest of the accessories for the board he said.

“I still have no idea how to ride it,”

And with me still not thinking I said

“Ok then I’ll teach you,”

We headed back out the mall but not before I got a diamond chain because why the hell not. We were about to get on a train to head back until I interjected.

“Wait,” I grabbed his arm. “Come with me,”

“Are you sure this is safe?” He asked as we sat under the bridge that the train runs over.

I laughed at his nervousness.

“I do this all the time and I'm still here, aren’t I? Don’t be a pussy,”

Waiting for the next train coming over I put on a song that's been stuck in my head for a while. Weary by Solange. I didn’t realize I was singing along until he complimented my voice.

“You should sing more often, you have a really nice voice.”

“Shh” I hushed feeling my heats heating up at the compliment. Soon I felt the train coming “Just live,”

I leaned back on my elbows and closed my eyes. I guess this was some form of therapy. The rumbling of the tracks traveled through my body. It would’ve been loud but I’ve picked up the ability to block out noises I don’t want to hear on command. After the train passed the sun was already setting. I figure I might as well get food. This would classify as the first real meal I’ve eaten in awhile. I’ve heard of people not being able to eat unless high which I never thought would or could happen to me. Right next to the restaurant we ate at. There was a 7/11. I’m not sure how many people know this but almost every night shift employee at 7/11 is a plug.

“Can you hold my bags real quick?” I asked.

He nodded so I let him know I’d be back quickly and I had to go to the bathroom

I did not.

The employee I ran into proved my earlier statement.

He had about 10 mg of adderall and some xans. I wasn’t really planning on taking the xans, maybe I’d just sell them. I went back and forth adderall because it’d enhance my brain function instead of actually producing a high. I got two slushies and some other bottled soft

drinks.

I put the key up to the door then slowly opened it. They were on the couch and looked up at me when they heard the door open. If I knew they weren’t gonna be mad at me for just leaving and not telling anyone, I’d actually be happy because Bri was getting along with my friends.

“So where’d you go?” MJ asked.

“I just went out mom,” I replied, sitting on the dresser by the door.

“Well you clearly went shopping,” Bri said.

“Yeah and?” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry I had a babysitter,” I rolled my eyes again. “You know you can come in right?” I referred to Peter who was still standing by the door.

He moved in, still not moving any farther than the bathroom door. I moved to close the door behind him before sitting on the bed closest to me.

She moved closer to me and looked into my face.

“Are you high right now?” She asked gazing into my eyes.

“Really?” I asked incredulously “No I’m not, and fuck you, now I’m not gonna give you your shit,”

“No! I’m sorry,” She said and I rolled my eyes, a smile cracking onto my face “What’d you get me?” She made grabby hands at the bags.

I handed her the one from Hot Topic.

“There’s a whole buncha stuff in there but…” I reached into the bag and took out the socks with weed plants on them. “These,” I held them up to her. “These are mine,”

“Alright weirdo,” she said looking through the bag. I went to go over to MJ but Bri grabbed my arm.

“Hey where are you getting the money for this?” She asked in a hushed voice.

“Don’t worry about it,” I waved her off.

I got MJ at least 7 books from a series she was reading and Peter said he had to go back to his room.

I was watching a movie on Bri’s phone while MJ started reading her book.

We heard a knock on the door.

I gave Bri a look that said I’ll get it. Then pushed off the bed. It was Liz.

“Hi,”

“Hey,”

“Me and some other kids are going to go down to the pool, so we were wondering if you wanna come?”

“Yeah just gimme a second I’ll be down,”

I ended up convincing Bri to come with me because I didn’t want it to be awkward.

It was nice. The pool I mean. There was a slight breeze and pretty much the whole team was there. Minus MJ, Ned, and Peter.

I didn’t really think about getting my hair wet. People were playing games toward the end of the pool. Bri was halfway in and halfway out on her phone.

I was floating on my back. It was as if I was drifting down a long river with my eyes closed. The breeze over my body pushing me along. There was a heavy weight on my back that had been building since birth, but the water took a hold of that weight for me.

I just lied there on my back floating and breathing.

Things were peaceful at the pool. They however were not back at the room.

I could not sleep. Believe me I tried. I looked through my bag with “everything” I brought. It wasn’t much since I hadn’t been home in a long time. However I did pack that cart I had in class a while back.

I was scrolling through Tiktok and remembered it was still next to me. I made a tiktok to that one audio with the whistles where you ghost the vapors on each whistle because I thought it looked cool and I can do whatever I want on my account.

I don’t know how long it’d be but I finally felt my eyes fall shut for the night.

When I woke up it was weird because I was already at the decathlon. I’d already been working on whatever problem it was that’d we’d gotten, but I didn’t need to because MJ had already gotten us the answer and we’d won.

I should’ve been more excited.

Why wasn’t I excited?

You couldn’t tell I wasn’t as happy as I made myself seem. I had become quite the little actress over the years and by actress I meant liar, I’m really good at lying.

I didn’t realize Peter was missing until we’d gotten on the bus to go to the Washington Monument.

“Hey,” MJ waved her hand in my face “You okay? You’re doing that thing where you scratch your inner arm, and you only do that when somethings on your mind.”

She placed her hand on mine to stop me

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing much like you said just thinking,”

“About?”

“Everything,” I didn’t want to tell her what I was really thinking about because things would get real awkward real quick.

MJ just wouldn't drop it though.

“There’s clearly something bothering you so just tell me what it is you can tell me anything,”

“I just told you,” I sighed.

“Tell me what you’re really thinking about,”

“Death,” I looked at her, who looked back at me, “There, you happy with your answer now?”

“No,” She said and I looked at her knowing it was a look of exasperation. “Who’s death?” She asked.

“Mine,”

“What about your death?”

“Just wondering if it’d be painful,”

“Oh,”

“Yeah,”

When we pulled up Bri was standing by MJ, she didn’t want to go into the tower because of it being built by slaves. I understood that I didn’t really want to go either but my feet were moving on their own accord.

I could’ve fallen asleep right then and there on that elevator. It was if my brain was checking in and out all day.

I might've. I don’t know. The rip off police officer was saying something but it all sounded like gibberish to me.

I closed my eyes and leaned on Liz’s shoulder. She patted my head and went back to whatever she was doing. Then there was an audible snap.

Followed by a jerk of the elevator.

My shot open and I looked up at the ceiling and there was a circle of singed metal.

“We’re all gonna die here,” The kid who I believe's name is Abe claimed.

And for my sake I pretended I didn’t hear him.

Everyone staring up at the ceiling, another student said.

“We’re freaking screwed,”

To think I was just thinking about death less than an hour ago and here I was about to taste the sweet kiss of it.

“I know that was scary, but our safety systems are working,” The police officer said.

Yeah fucking right that’s what they all say. They just didn’t want us to panic but that’s exactly what I was doing. Panicking.

“We are very safe in here,” she added. That's what they say seconds before everyone dies.

The trap door above the elevator opened and everyone began to move again. I could feel the elevator shaking again. No way was I gonna move and risk snapping the cords.

I was gonna die here.

Most of the team had gotten out already. Then it was Flash’s turn and he just had to put the fucking trophy up with the rest of everyone. The elevator fell farther as he got out. I wanted to move but I couldn’t. My brain power wasn’t stronger than my muscles. I couldn’t will them to do what I needed them to.

Something hit the ground above us and the elevator was free falling.

It stopped second after we were launched to the ground then low and behold Spider-man

I swear it was like he was stalking me. I’d be kinda freaked out if I didn’t know he was Peter.

When he spoke it was in a very poor accent.

He was telling Ned not to move because he was shaking the elevator.

He pulled the metal death box up to the doors and Mr. Harrington, Ned, then Liz got out.

Spider-man or “Peter” said something but I couldn’t make out what exactly I was still trying to process everything.

Then the elevator was falling, I reached out towards Spiderman but wasn’t close enough to reach him.

A web caught my arm but I was still hanging.

Until I wasn’t. My feet were planted on the ground but my brain was moving too fast for me to keep up.

“Y/N?” My shoulder was being shaken.

“Yeah huh?” I said trying to locate and place an identity to the voice it was Bri.

“I was asking you if you needed a ride home,”

Oh yeah she didn't know.

“Uh I don’t know maybe,”

“Alright…” She said turning back over to whoever she was talking to this time.

Since I was the one to almost fall they wanted to check me out in one of the ambulances.

Which I do not trust at all.

The whole medical field is a giant scam so is insurance, ask MJ she’ll tell you.

Once we’d gotten back to the school. Everyone’s parents were all freaking out over them and asking if they were okay. Majority of everyone had already left. Peter had his Aunt. MJ had her parents. Ned has his dad. Bri had her dad. Everyone has someone.

Well almost everyone.

Flash was still waiting too. With Mr. Harrington off in the distance.

Then there were two

I moved over and sat down on the curb next to him.

“You got no one either huh?” I asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Fair enough. The hostility was understandable. I did punch him in the face less than a week ago.

I kept talking though.

“My dad never picks me up from anything either. “ I didn’t really want him to but he could’ve at least asked while I was still living at that apartment and now he expects me to come back like it’s nothing.

A car pulled up and some random white guy who was probably a chauffeur picked up Flash.

Then there was one

I wanted to go home but I had no home.

I guess I had one home in the cemetery. Everyone I love leaves me. That’s something I learned over the years. It applies to many and the sooner you learn that the easier life will be for you. I hadn’t been back here in the longest. I’d normally just show up and clean the graves of the people who I’d known closely.

This was embarrassing but sometimes I’d talk to my mom. Today was one of those days I sent. I stayed talking to my mom and Rose so much for stopping the letters which I did for way longer than I thought I would.

I was already in my old neighborhood and before I knew it I was at my “house”.

I really didn’t mean to come home. I just did before I could stop myself.

Taglist:

@tomdiddlyumptious

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #reader x peter parker #Peter Parker x Vigilante!Reader #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x black!reader #peter parker x bi!reader #peter parker x bisexual!reader #poc reader x peter parker #peter parker x poc reader #peter parker x thorn #spiderman x villian #thorns prick

24 notes · View notes

elecman108 · 3 years

Photo

Man, I forgot to post 90% of my art here for the past while. I’m gonna do an art dump in this post under the cut. Enjoy the bonk emoji if you don’t click the read more, and man am I dumb and forgetful lmao.

Includes: OCs getting names, a Sonic impression, a D&D map, homosexual energies, a sheep floating in the astral sea, a birthday drawing I already posted, Hex Maniac Ender, D&D Characters, D&D Characters as Miis in Miitopia, Little Hater Axel, local Demon in the consciousness of my D&D character yelling at him, illegal plants, a necromancer being cute, an actual event that happened in a D&D game two days ago, and Mermay drawing.

That’s everything in here as a TL;DR, I guess. Enjoy your day!

I’m gonna try and sort of have them in chronological order, oldest first, but I may end up putting them in the wrong order. If I do... Whoops, I guess?

[04/14/21] - This isn’t really new art, but I started to work on giving the four OCs of mine without a full name full names... I have not finished this bit, though. So Hunter and Akira have full names, and Warlock and Assassin only have temporary names. This may end up like Seven where I put in their names as a temporary name (7th OC I’d made at that time) and it just kind of... sticks. Lmao.

[04/20/21] - Alone on a Friday Night? God, you’re pathetic. I didn’t colour this one because it was a half-attempt at a meme image I still like it, though, so I might end up colouring it. It’s gonna appear again whenever I do my “unfinished drawings art dump” at some point probably in... June? I know I said I’d post them last month but forget it, lmao, it’ll happen eventually.

[04/20/21] - A D&D Map! This was to help me visualize the layout of my D&D character’s ship he used to be on. Also for my DM if they ever put us aboard the ship. The little fella in the corner is just there to vibe. This map is made of free to use assets from This Website, so while I’m gonna say DONT USE MY MAP WITHOUT PERMISSION, feel free to make your own!

[04/26/21] - Lesbian Day of Visibility drawing of yours truly, the disapointment! That’s... really all I have to say about this, honestly. It was just for that one day and that was it, lmao. I mean, I accidentally lined it in dark pink, so.. .That’s different, I guess?

[04/30/21] - Do Astral Seas dream of Ensorcled Sheep? Does the City know what Sheepleb is going to do? What crimes he may commit? Who knows! This was fan art of Critical Role ep. 134 if I remember correctly, right at the end when they jumped into the portal into the astral sea and Caleb was a sheep. Using my knowledge of the German language, I knew the word for “shit”, and had to use it.

[05/07/21] - This was already posted, but it’s going in here to dilinuate that it was drawn at this point. Also, aside from playing Miitopia, this is all I have to show for myself until the 12th.

[05/12/21] - Hex Maniac Ender challenges you to a Pokemon Battle! WIll you win against my team? My sis, who loves fairy types, pointed out to me that there’s a fairy girl and hex maniac duo, so I’d be the hex maniac. I spent... Over a week drawing this, because I basically had to redraw the Hex Maniac art from scratch in a higher quality size, and then draw myself over it. So... You can excuse the low-effort background for once. It was basically this, and then my birthday doodle from May 1st to May 12th, and then I took a break to draw up several D&D characters quickly for fullbody references.

[05/12/21] - Remember this art I made several months ago? I finally added my other two completed characters! I have three more named but without character sheet D&D characters, so for now this is just Kara, Axel, Golden Shadow, Kau, Cecillia, and Miri. Kress, Tempest, and Melia will have to wait until I make character sheets for them to be posted, and... For when I probably make more D&D characters. I have at least 9 additional, incomplete character ideas floating around, so... I’m never gonna be done this art, huh?

[05/12/21] - Speaking of D&D characters, did you know I’ve been making them as Miis in Miitopia? So here is their finished full body art next to their Miitopia self! Some of them look a little off (Golden Shadow, Cecillia) because of limitations of the editor and shading issues, some of them look a little off (Kau, Kress) because this is a human face canvas that I’m using to make a non-human face, and some of them (Melia, Axel) look REALLY GOOD. Common traits among my D&D characters include green eyes and tall. You wanna know why? Because I am tall and... despite having red eyes, I do have green eyes under the coloured contacts.

[05/15/21] - More D&D stuff! This is based around my D&D group’s current Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign where our Goliath Fighter, Nioh, ends up getting a little bit of hate for being cocky, and our little (well over 6′) hater, Axel, is just a man full of irritation. These are the tallest two characters of the group at the moment. Someone send help. Nioh belongs to one of the other D&D players, Axel (and his stupid additude) belongs to me.

[05/15/21] - This is what me playing D&D feels like. Me, the demon entity trapped inside the head of my D&D character, yelling at them to do things while the dice decide that they’re gonna get bopped a hundred times by a yeti and somehow still survive. This is also a reference to our first or second game where I just ran off like sixty feet to one side of the battle map to fight a Crag Cat and was just in Gay Baby Jail until like two turns later when I could run back to the others. I also drew him not in his winter gear even though this is a bit from when we were atop Kelvin’s Carin in an icy cave, so maybe that’s why he’s at low HP.

[05/15/21] - Melia has good gardening tips, such as Use A Mars Mii Trap To Hide A Body Because They Are Endangered And It Is Illegal To Dig Them Up. I love her a lot, because she’s the youngest of four, all four sisters based around the different seasons. She’s based around Autumn, so she’s all orange and yellow and brown and is so cute. Also she’s Chaotic Neutral, as if she didn’t need to be mildly more threatening.

[05/15/21] - Cecillia is my Tiefling gal who lived in a very northern town plagued by cold weather and snow, and Axel is my Pirate guy who spent most of his time further south on the high seas and warmer weather. So, naturally... I’ll use the guy more acclimatized to the hotter weather in the campaign where we spend 99% of it in the snow. She uses Tarot Cards as her spell focus, and I decided to sneak my other D&D characters onto her Tarot cards so naturally, Axel is The Hanged Man, given his backstory and personality. She’s a very cheerful and friendly Tiefling Necromancer of the Hexblade, so she’d for sure take care of those around her to ensure their success. Especially if they’re on her Tarot Cards, and their spirit comes to her aid when she asks for them.

[05/16/21] - Content Warning; Ryma thinks too much into local stupid moron’s lack of knowing how to answer a question and thinks too much into the reputation of Pirates. Poor Axel, man doesn’t know how to socialize with people who aren’t pirates and is used to being hostile towards everyone, so when he’s asked a question that his answer to is “uhh... no?”, he panics and ends up making a mistake that leads him to think that Ryma can read his mind. Ryma belongs to another of the D&D players. I guess me drawing all those spicy Cow Costumed OCs earlier just brought me to drawing Axel being a bottom in this, huh?

[05/16/21] - It’s Mermay, which means more OC drawings! Here’s Theo after drinking some potion that turned him into a mermaid, and Seven, tiredly, collecting his stupid boyfriend so that Lailah can fix the fact he’s turned into a mermaid. Mer!Theo is based around his sword’s colours of indigo-purple with red accents, which looks a little weird since Theo is the Blue one of the group, but... it looks cool, I guess. Seven’s just the same outfit as always, just no gloves this time.

And that’s it for the art dump! This was, frankly, MASSIVE. I’ll try and remember to upload both on Twitter and Tumblr at the same time, but... Ah... I have been drawing a fair bit. Just mostly sketches and linework that I haven’t finished and may not actually finish. If they’re not completed, I’ll dump them all into something at the end of the month or whatever. Maybe you’ll get the old sketch of the Axel face in panel 3 because in the sketch phase it was an Ahegao face, in the clean sketch it was a lip bite, and in the linework and final it’s just horny face. lmao.

Top ten things I have to remember for drawing: AXEL HAS A SCAR AND GREEN EYES. I remember his eye colour now, but if you look at his fullbody ref, he’s got brown eyes. And, naturally, I keep forgetting to put in his scar. He has more, but most of them are located in areas covered by his clothes. So if I ever draw him shirtless I guess I’ll have to place them somewhere.

Also maybe finish the reference sheets I have left to finish so I can post more of them, since I have two “Pets” completed (Roko and Mona’s nameless pet), but I have to do up Hunter, Warlock, Assassin, Akira, Myuut, and Stella. I’m betting when I do complete two more, it’ll be Hunter and Akira. Those two are the most fun to draw, at least.

#the disappointment speaks #drawings by me #OCs #D&D #art dump #Miitopia #of all of these drawings I gotta say the most cursed is censored bottom!Axel and the most blessed is Cecillia's lap nap #I drew a lot of D&D stuff lately! Most of my OC stuff has stayed in the sketch stage so #I guess that says something about what I've been prioritizing in my drawings?#Also that drawing a twunk as a twink is incredibly funny and cursed. love my pirate boy

4 notes · View notes

mbakuetshurisprincess · 4 years

Text

Destiny Series

AN: Yall... I’m soo shocked how quickly yall are fucking with that mood board like actually soo shocked. I was going to do Egyptian gods cause when I was younger I read the Kane Chronicles and I fell in love with Egyptian mythology and their gods BUT I feel like more people know Greek gods and it’s easier to like deal with Greek gods family tree vs Egyptian because whew chileeee that would of been a mess. BIG BIG BIG ups to @chaneajoyyy for a. proofreading and catching the little errors and for supporting me.

Summary: On May 14th a god or goddess picks someone to take their place in the following years, when T’challa invites everyone in your graduating class to his house for a Chaining day party chaos ensues and relationships get tested.

Pairing: Erik x reader

Warnings: cussing, light smut like literally I don’t wanna call it smut because it’s so light.

Word count: 2,111

It was May 14th and the eve of arguably the most important day of your life, chaining day. Chaining day was a right of passage that had been happening since before you or any other Wakandan had been alive, chaining day was the day in which the gods and goddesses came down to earth and selected who was going to fill their position as that specific next god in the next years. Chaining day only occurred once every three generations and it happened that it fell upon you and your peers. You laid on your bedroom floor while your two best friends Makyla and Aaron sat across from you in bean bag chairs.

“I just don’t get why you're not excited Y/N” Makyla said nonchalantly, “I can’t wait to figure out which god chose me! I hope it someone like Hera or Aphrodite. They would suit me don’t you think?”

“Your annoying ass deserves Hestia” Aaron mumbled under his breath earning him a firm slap on his arm.

You sat up from your floor and took a slow breath in and exhaled. “I just don’t get why it falls onto US, like why can’t the gods choose someone who wants to be a god not a normal person who just wants to live and die and get this shit over with.”

Aaron rolled his eyes “You're just worried that you and Erik’s gods won’t be together and some other girl will have him”

“HA” you laughed out sarcastically “That punk ass nigga can get whatever trick ass whore wants him, we are over and I dont give a flying fuck who gets him”

The room got silent because that lie and everyone in the room knew it, you and Erik never went into full relationship territory just comments under each others posts and his constant flirting with you. But it all ended when he posted a photo with a girls arms wrapped around his shoulders and a blunt in his hand and the caption “all the bitches fuckin with me, its like im the god of pussy or sum..” That was the last straw, and you hadn’t actually spoken to him since you’d seen that post go up.

“Can we go now y'all?” Makyla asked “I want to get to T’challa’s party early and get a good spot for chaining time”

“Are you sure we have to go? We could just stay in and watch a movie until chaining time” you lay your head back down onto your plush carpet and squeezed your eyes shut. You heard movement above you and opened to see Aaron and Makyla standing over you an annoyed look on their faces.

“Fine, fine!” you grumbled outstretching one of your hands out signalling for one of them to help you up, Aaron groaned and grabbed your hand pulling you off the ground. You walked over to your closet, you pulled out a pair of light wash ripped jeans, a white cropped t-shirt and a multi colored nike windbreaker. To emphasize the fact that you didn’t want to go you groaned and moaned while putting on your clothes.

“Keep playing Erik’s gonna give you something to moan about” Makyla said under her breath causing Aaron and her to bust out into a fit of laughter, you turned your head to them and gave them a look that shot daggers.

By the time you got to T’challa’s house you were reminded of why you didn't want to go to his chaining day party and your reason was sitting right at the front door like some self righteous bouncer. You thought if you ducked and hid in between Makyla and Aaron he wouldn’t spot you, but of course he did.

“Woah woah woah lil mama where do you think you're going” Erik’s arm had snaked in between your friends and grabbed you out from in between them. You looked up at your friends with pleading eyes practically begging them to help you out which caused Erik to laugh. “Nah nah ma, your friends can’t help you now, you've been ignoring me and I wanna know why.”

You looked around and noticed a few familiar faces, he wanted to embarrass you in front of your friends? And make a lesson out of you for his other bitches, not today.

You looked down at your arm and back up at him “Nigga I don’t owe you shit.” you snateched your arm from his hand and folded them across your exposed midriff.

A chorus of “Ooo’s” erupted from the small crowd that had developed.

Erik smiled and licked his lips “I asked you a question Y/N and I’m telling you to answer it right fucking now before it gets bad for you.”

You cocked your eyebrow up at him, oh so he thought you were playing?

“Nigga I gave you my answer, you don’t need anything else from me. Now excuse me I’ve got a party to attend” You smirked up at him and waved your finger signaling for him to move out of your way. You had him beat, you could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

“Last chance Y/N before I embarrass you in front of all of these fucking people and I swear to god I will”

You batted your eyes up at Erik innocently and your hands found the collar of his shirt. “Oh no baby boy” you wiped some dust off of his shoulder “I think I just embarrassed you”

You tried to walk away, you had won that fight fair and square and everyone in T’challa’s yard knew it or so you thought. Until you felt strong arms wrap around you calf's and felt you world flip upside down.

“ERIK!” You screamed out hitting his back with an array of punches in varying strengths.

The yard erupted into laughter as Erik walked you through the front door, you caught Makyla’s eye as Erik walked you up the stairs still slung over his shoulder. When he got up to one of the guest bedrooms he plopped you on the bed and locked the door behind himself, when he walked back over to you, you shot him a deathly stare.

“What the fuck was that Y/N?”

“What the hell is posting other bitches Erik? Hmm?”

You dug your phone out of you pocket and pulled out his instagram, instantly finding the photo you were looking for “all the bitches fuckin with me, its like im the god of pussy or sum.” you mocked his tone.

Erik plopped down on the bed next to you “man this why you been ignorning me for the past two weeks” Erik paused “I thought you had found another nigga ma”

You laid your head back onto the bed and laughed lightly “No Erik I haven’t found another nigga, its just been me sitting around looking stuck waiting for you when you obviously hadn’t been doing the same.”

“It’s not even like that ma, that’s Vannah, you know her and M’baku were going through something and she asked me to take the picture with her and post it to get him mad. They got back together tonight and I was taking it down tomorrow. I can show you the texts to prove it” Erik pulled out his phone and showed you the texts between him and Vannah and her begging and him finally agreeing after she agreed to buy his alcohol for a month.

“Fine I GUESS I’m done being mad at you.” you poked your bottom lip out at him in a mock pout.

“You better stop poking that lip out before I bite it baby girl” Erik rolled you over on top of him forcing you to straddle him,with his hands resting on your ass. “Fuck I can’t wait to tear this shit up ma” his hand smacked your ass roughly “I’ma give you back shots so hard you're gonna feel that shit all week I’m gonna have you-”

Erik was interrupted by counting below you.

“Fuck” you said getting of of his lap “It’s almost time”

“Turn off the lights ma”

“Who do you think your gonna get Erik”

“I dunno but if I get stuck with some bitch ass mother fucker I’m killing whoever got Zeus”

“I want someone calm, someone who does their job and stays out of any drama”

“Give me your hands Erik”

“I got love for you baby girl, you know that?” Even in the darkness you could see his brown eyes pierce your soul.

“Promise to stay friends no matter what happens”

“We will stay friends no matter what happens Y/N” he squeezed your hands lightly

“I love you Erik Stevens”

That was the last thing you remember hearing before a bright white light flashed in front of you, so bright you let go of Erik’s hands to shield your eyes. In a few moments it dimmed.

“My child” a voice called at you

You looked around for the source of the voice and found a strong willow tree waving in the wind, you walked towards it and felt the plush green grass beneath your feet, it felt softer than anything you had ever felt.

“Sit” the tree told you softly you could make out eyes, nose and mouth in its brown bark.

“Persphone” the words fell out of your mouth without you even knowing they were coming.

She smiled at you transforming before your eyes from a tree into a beautiful black woman, her curves filled out her chiton you noticed her outfit matched yours but she wore it much better.

“Come here” she opened her arm to you and stood up and ran into them burying your face in her chest tears flowing down your face. It didn't hit you until now of her story and what happened, she fell for Hades, a forbidden love and then for the rest of her life spent half of her life with the people she loved and the other half of the year with the man that she hated how much she loved him.

She stroked you curly hair and spoke soothing words to you “I know this is not the outcome you were expecting by I have gifted you a ability”

You pulled your head off of her and looked up at Persephone tears still threatening to spill out of your eyes.

“Open your arm”

You obliged her and held your left arm out for her, you noticed a small tattoo outline of a plant.

“Touch it”

You followed her instructions and out of thin air a small plant was in your hand, you immediately recognized it as a venus fly trap similar to the one that grew on your window sill.

“Anywhere that you walk plants will grow underneath you as long as your on the floor of a building it doesn't matter how many layers on concretes are in between you. Plants will grow” She caressed your cheek in her hand. A gong rang out and you looked up at Persephone, your eyes pleading for some kind of answers or help.

“What am I supposed to do? You have to help me please!” you felt a pulling on your waist as if you were attached to a rope and the other end was pulling you back in.

“Do not fight it Y/N destiny is destiny and you are destined to be with Hades” and with those last words the bright white light flashed again and you covered your eyes. You felt like you were falling but quickly you realized you were back at T'challa's house in the same room that you had been in before with Erik, however he wasn't here now. But when you speak of the devil he shall appear and like clockwork blue flames were produced around a body, you could hear what sounded like a large dog barking and then it all went away, you squeeze your eyes shut not sure what to expect. You heard a familiar chuckle in front of you and you immediately opened your eyes and started at the bottom up. Black tims paired with black jeans and no shirt you studied the person's chest in front of you which now held thousands of tiny scars, a fur coat draped his bare chest his left hand holding a ball of what looked like fire. You finally met his eyes, dark but with a hint of fire in them.

“Wh-who” you barely managed to get it out before a smirk formed across Erik’s face.

“Hades, god of the underworld”

Tag List: @chaneajoyyy @chasingsunlight @writerbee-ffs @dessianna1

#erik imagine #erik x reader #erik stevens #killmonger imagine #black panther killmonger #erik killmonger #killmonger fic #black panther #black panther imagine #black panther fandom #black panther fanfiction

129 notes · View notes

and-the-world-is-quiet-here · 4 years

Text

Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z

Yall he just said he’s immune

My dad just left the room

Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?

sir that’s the diaper company…..smh

Biden just said its going to be a dark winter

#winter is coming

“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020

“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020

apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020

totally accurate.....obviously

ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it

trump interrupted biden

Mam I thought you said you were muting them?

biden laugh count at 3

he all about the once percent till its the dead ones

trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4

this debate is making my dog sad

interrupting now at 5 for trump

trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”

bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”

he was in quarantine for two weeks

apparently nyc is a ghost town

its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it

loudest neighbors ever

trump don’t call him Anthony

his name is DOCTOR Fauci

treat him with the respect he deserves

Biden looks so sad

nvm he legit looks like the joker right now

HALFWAY MARKKK

why is this at 9?

sir its a school night

I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing

Biden don’t use the word sovereignty

trump doesn't know what it means

thats discrimination against trumps

ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again

so he has a wee drug problem?

at this point everyone got one!

your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv

(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)

get him big b!!

h876689908776- my dog 2020

he wants to express his disappointment

the light boxs is stealing his mother attention

ohh hes being rude to the moderator again

u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!

mute his mike

prty plz

I am dissapionted in you

he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs

(that is a proven lie)

“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020

hes going after his BROTHER now

how is this allowed?

who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?

look at the insults guys its a crystal ball

stay ahead of the scandal's

WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE

THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE

“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020

no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia

#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage

#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON

Trump interrupted again

I lost count a while ago

Biden is staring into my soul

oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card

I haven't heard a single mute so far?

trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war

dont through my boy Obama under the bus

and another interruption

my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”

honestly same

10 more min guys

hang in there

OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD

Biden is now on legitimate policy

ahhh hes proud of his plan

annd trump just interrupted

trump just kissed up to the moderator

trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie

ohhh

biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against

hes like “this is joe biden”

like I know bro but slick burn anyway

ohhh they muted trump again!!!!

perfect opportunity to mute missed

trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski

biden says the the republicans wont pass it

(btw hes actualy right)

2 mins left

and trump is speaking through it

1 min left

omg what a waste of air

I really want him to test his “immunity”

preferably during a harsh winter

ITS TEN GUYSSS

there running over

they still haven't covered immigration

shit

I have just learned there is 30 min left

I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this

I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now

I’m doing this for u

“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020

what a wack ass sentence

hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages

and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014

(contradiction much)

“who built the cages”

yes it was Obama but guess what

THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS

there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations

THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS

Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”

(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)

and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS

(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)

hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported

we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know

my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”

“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”

oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5

WHO WERE CHILDREN

AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder

trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room

“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020

biden just went “oh god”

he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers

I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect

unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it

but you know what ever fits you narrative

plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....

Biden making more logical decisions

trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president

“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020

we have the cleanest air

we have the cleanest crystal clear water

sir, i know you've been to mexico

don’t lie

the waters gorges down there

and not owned by your smug ass

trump just called china filthy

so you know....

*whispers* racism

ok 5 min left

for real this time

trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate

ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change

bidens like “are....is...is is”

good for you

correcting your grammar

trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue

(he means wind mills and its untrue)

“Whats the next question baba”

“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020

I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet

bidens starring into your soul

he knows what your doing

there officially overtime

its 10 33

they haven't even done the last section yet

btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT

why do they host these so late

I should be pretending to be asleep right now

this is generational discrimination

plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now

ohhhh its over

1036 final time

okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around.

I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!

P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them.

I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!

#2020 #election #covid #trump #biden #debate #byedon #flyden 2020

7 notes · View notes

drake-the-incubus · 4 years

Note

1-50. Your turn >:3

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I hope so! Hey @hero-of-bowerstone do you love me?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I’m turning 22 and have done nothing with my life. It depends. I don’t really know many 18 year olds.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Re-reading my favourite book series a couple of days ago. Menoetius please love yourself more my baby, my child. Also writing my last fic is probably sooner. Cause Xiphrus needs love.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Uh… how the fuck do people smile?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Uh yeah. He’s blocked and hopefully will leave me the fuck alone.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Uh not really. I have tailored playlists.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

A t-shirt, shorts and underwear? I need to change actually but that requires a shower and I’m too lazy to get that ready :/

8. How often do you listen to music?

24/7. Unless I’m watching a video/video calling, I’m constantly listening to music. When I say I’ve listened to a song for a week straight, it’s likely the song has been looped… for a week straight.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Sweats, jeans fucking suck and cause issues I’d rather not deal with.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

I mean the year already passed but back then I was going into 7th I think? If you mean the turn of this year, yeah I fucking do look at the world.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Anti-Social. I don’t like spending time with people too much and need a lot of alone time. That being said I crave attention from friends.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

I don’t know? I’ve kissed a lot of people I have forgotten bc of truth or dare. Not that I recall.

13. What about ‘R’?

See the same as above.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

No, and legally if I drive I’m going to be arrested as my learners expires soon and I a) have no glasses, b) can’t concentrate on the road to pass a driver’s test. Also why the fuck do people drive those, it’s… so unreliable.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

If they’re not telling me to my face, yeah. If you have a problem with me, bring it up to me. I don’t like people talking behind my back. That being said, nah. Talk shit about me to my face all you want I don’t give a shit.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

I’m spending the next month in another province so the answer is, already out of town. I’ll be going out of this town quite often.

17. When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago I cried over Menoetius losing his fucking shit at love and then again when Joxeia was struggling.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Plenty of times. Then it got thrown back into my face almost the same amount.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Yes and no. If I could have full heterochromia with a blood red eye I’ll fucking take it. That shit’s cool and I still love it. Otherwise only to make my own centerlized-heterochromia more distinct. (Blue/Green Split)

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

My boyfriend? IG. I mean fictionally a lot of boys. IRL I don’t think I could do everything for anyone. Not my style.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I’m hungry and I can’t finish the series I’ve been waiting on bc scanlators dont have the final two chapters.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

No. Ew. It reminds me of what parents are supposed to do. Otherwise why’re you checking my fever? What’s the point?

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

Uh depends on what that’s defined as. I talked out loud, verbally to my boyfriend so yeah. Otherwise, no.

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A very uncomfortable arm chair/lazy boy type thing.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

My boyfriend. My friends. Also bold of you to assume my family tells me they love me.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, I want a lot of people. Fictional characters are nice, man. Otherwise kinda. On and off.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Staff on a server.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yes! It fucking sucks because I sound like I’m dying MORE now.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

RTX 2018 when I went down there. Wish I could go again.

30. Does anyone hate you?

I would think, someone does, I'm not the most likeable person in the universe. I secretly think everyone does.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I should fucking hope not. If there is my boyfriend is going to have to answer some questions.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

That’s my favourite movie genre.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Ew no. Someone else does and I hate them for it. No that shit is… no. Good on other people but I know ppl who have had it and no.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

Um… 2016 bc that ruined my life :)

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Fuck if I know. I woke up hungry and focused on that.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Yesterday. My boyfriend.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I don’t know if I even want to be married, but given what’s going on if I’m not then my bf might cry? So I think yes if we get the finances.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Uh… my boyfriend. But otherwise? Yeah. I’m fairly aware a lot of people develop feelings for me. It kinda weirds me out bc 90% of the time it’s never romantic.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Uh. Statistically speaking someone probably is.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Nope. I don’t really think it was a net good or bad day.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Yeah. We’re two years in September.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I currently share a house with my sister in law. We just had a conversation when I reached this question actually.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes and that brings up bad memories.

44. What’s the best part about school?

I got away from my abusive parents. Got to write in class. Met some friends. Uh. Learned about many things, people who’re 13 and spent five minutes learning about, argue with me on them. I learned how to write and use none of that knowledge now.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I wish I didn’t, but yeah because I had to upload things for my parents. Including images of before I was out as trans.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Yup. Pretty common past time.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Obsessively. So much so I’ve caused issues. So now I keep fictional worlds going as a coping mechanism.

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Nope. Won’t be this one either,

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Hahaha. Fuck no and im glad for it. Not with my parents, not struggling with other issues, not with my ex. Shit’s baller.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Probably writing a fanfic or planning a book. Cleaning. Could use a shower. Will I do any of these? Probably not, my boyfriend jacked my PC.

#ask game #lol this was p easy to do #long post

1 note · View note

incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

S15 Spec/Discussion

So when the SPHT came out we all got to talking and I had some Thoughts(tm). Some of it is wildly speculatory but potential and interesting. I love the thinkie beans in my server.

I love our little roundtable of speculation and meta that routinely crops up, sometimes I feel like we should record it and make a podcast.

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:34 PM

IM YELLING SO MUCH YELLING “you cant do this to the fans!” “i can do anything. im a writer.” FUCKING CHILLS

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:36 PM

Jared's evil smirk has murdered me

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:38 PM

yesssss

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:38 PM

So we have Sam in a white suit MoC

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:38 PM

btw chucks lame ending is hilarious

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:38 PM

The colt

CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM

THAT WAS A THIng

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:39 PM

G L O R I F I E D F A N B O Y

CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM

I came out of aladdin to that

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:39 PM

IM SCREAMING

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:39 PM

Adam and most likely Michael taking in a diner Talking

CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM

Psfuck what anybody says the new aladdin is amazing

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:39 PM

Scruffy endverse Dean

CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM

I jave never Ever Seen such masterful seaming of cartoonverse cgi To real actorsHoly fuck me

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:40 PM

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT ALADDIN RIGHT NOW

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:40 PM

LMAO

CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM

I CAN DO BOTH LOOK

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:40 PM

I AGREE ABOUT ALADDIN

CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I WISH I WENT TO THAT SHIT HIGH

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:41 PM

but JARED SMIRK IS MURDERING MEI CAN'T STOP LOOKING BACK AT THE VIDEO FOR IT

CastielYesterday at 9:41 PM

Yeah i intend to watch on pc when i canIm mobile rn

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:41 PM

And of course the crypt door being held shut with a screwdriver As direct14.10 parallel

CastielYesterday at 9:41 PM

Like we literally just left aladdin hence the yelling Yes yes Ive got him Im the cage Etc

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:42 PM

GlorifiedFanboy Is that not what I said friggin months ago?!

CastielYesterday at 9:42 PM

On brand a+ dean from whoever wrote that Ill guess Bobo or buckner For glorified fanboy line

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:43 PM

What? Do they read our tweets?

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:43 PM

lol

CastielYesterday at 9:43 PM

Bobo reads mine a lot?

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:43 PM

I stg I heard that line and almost screamed

CastielYesterday at 9:43 PM

I never did upload his nerdy video to me in hindsight

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:44 PM

Interesting that they didn't use a single shot of Alex

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:44 PM

No AlexAt all

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:44 PM

So it's not gonna be just a hallucination with burnt out eyes No Billie either

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:45 PM

No empty

CastielYesterday at 9:45 PM

No its full on chuck villain framing its my sound of war vid with s15 footage dhdhdhd

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM

Yeah well it all blended into inky black at the end But that's hardly conclusive

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:46 PM

True

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM

Since that happens a lot in trailers

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:46 PM

Maybe that’s for later in the season Or Maybe it’s a big secret

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM

10 bucks says they abandoned the Cas deal And that's the hill I die on

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:47 PM

Bc that’s how they fight Chuck? They can’t abandon that already It’s too fresh

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM

To me it read as a gateway to the Empty getting Jack

CastielYesterday at 9:48 PM

Placing bets now. Ep 1-3 is deancas tension over mary and jack and feeling distanced from the winchesters leaves eps 4 and 5. We know he works with sam at least briefly in 6. Deancas reunion in 7 midseason scheduled for 8 or 9. Deancas resolution then

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM

Before they knew for sure

CastielYesterday at 9:48 PM

Midseason finale whatever theyre keeping in the door

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM

That it was their final season To possibly stretch the plot accordeon

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:49 PM

Maybe final battle is with the empty and not chuck

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:49 PM

But now they've lost the need for a middle man ie Cas Nah

CastielYesterday at 9:49 PM

Id need more than a promo trailer to figure out if resolving cas is midseason or endgame

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:49 PM

Is amara coming back?

CastielYesterday at 9:49 PM

Yes

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM

Dabb confirmed it's early

CastielYesterday at 9:50 PM

And deans weird old friend

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:50 PM

She wasn’t there either

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM

Yeah 15.02 I think Or 04? Very early

CastielYesterday at 9:50 PM

Its as much a mood piece as a trailer

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM

Was that Becky talking to Chuck?

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

Yes

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:51 PM

I think so

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

You cant do this to the fans

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

ITS GLORIOUS

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:51 PM

It sounded like her

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

It’s her

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

We knew she was coming back Well

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

Yea

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

Speculated educatedly

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

I’m so mad! I was just about to go to bed!

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

When even the crazed fangirl looks sane by comparison

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

And they dropped this

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM

Yeah I’ll never sleep now

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

I HAVE TO

CastielYesterday at 9:52 PM

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

Nah I'll head to bed in a few

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM

No. No sleep

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

I’ve gotten no sleep the past three days

CastielYesterday at 9:52 PM

Points if they still frame it for a swipe at the bronlies like all the other becky jokes

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

I find the fixation on the fan angle a bit weird

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM

Yaaaaassssss

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM

It seemed framed that way to me Min

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:53 PM

All the bronly jokes pls

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM

But maybe I’m just reading it with my own bias

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM

But it's only 2 pieces of Chuck dialogue so

CastielYesterday at 9:53 PM

Yeah

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:54 PM

And he’s a melodramatic fuck

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:54 PM

I’ll forever want to refer to him as “glorified fanboy” Put it on a shirt

CastielYesterday at 9:55 PM

God imagine chuck bringing back kevin as his prophet to take down his word as the gospel of winchester is designed to end only in being felled, and only by the glory of god. He cant finish off his own book to print the new gospel

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:56 PM

Here to say fuck you chuck

CastielYesterday at 9:57 PM

What if we big bounce and he dubs adam the new michael since we saw jack. Can convert humans to angels

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:57 PM

Megalomaniacal Michael?

CastielYesterday at 9:58 PM

Kicking down the castles in his own sandbox as revelations told before, before men found the new gospel of the glory of god. Revelations might not be a prophecy. It may be history.

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:59 PM

Interesting

CastielYesterday at 9:59 PM

Wildly speculatory and just playing but

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:00 PM

Oh the adam Michael idea

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:01 PM

I'm very glad about Chuck being in early episodes Adam is 100% gonna be Michael Cause all the summaries made it sound Like they weren't utilizing him

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:03 PM

It does sound like OG Michael is gonna be a real issue and it makes sense for it to be Adam

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:03 PM

CastielYesterday at 10:09 PM

WHICH THEY MYSTERIOUSLY PLUGGED AT THE END OF THE SEASON

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM

Yeah but he'd still be Adam and not Michael Just

CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM

if michael is useless to chuck as is, which he may or may not have been lying about MAKEA NEW

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM

Archangel Adam

CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM

MICHAEL YES

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM

Oh Doesn't fit with the pic above tho

CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM

Find another Eve. Oh look universal big bounce and I have a new mythology jazz hands Or better a Lilith Also this is literally unstoppable force immovable object logic if chuck can't destroy the human soulzapping the winchesters to death is just a stall game of exhausting futility they've proven they will inevitably doorkick down every afterlife or wherever they're cycled to what if there's like a hilariously extreme mystery spot where you see mini adventures out of whatever afterlife but eventually justtruncated to ridiculous extremes Chuck: -_-

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:18 PM

Like that's a given with all the scattered bits. Either Lucifer Sam and MoC Dean etc become big plot points Or they're part of Redux Mystery Spot

CastielYesterday at 10:18 PM

side eyes hidden mytharc uh

CastielYesterday at 10:18 PM

I really hope we didn't get the MOC Dean thing too close rip

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:19 PM

Why did you have to connect those two promo subplots for meW h y

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:20 PM

Also Cas next to that burnt up body I hope it isn't just Victim Of The Week

CastielYesterday at 10:20 PM

I'm wondering about the "arrogant betrayal" promo line on ep... 3 is it?

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

Yeah

CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM

Is it gonna be meaningful or is this like

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

Nah

CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM

bringing back Sergei

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

PR vagueblog

CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM

from his Byzantium bullshit

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

The BL ep is 15.02 tho

CastielYesterday at 10:22 PM

authors sometimes soak up impact of -- oh no

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:22 PM

What

CastielYesterday at 10:23 PM

okay so let's pretend say, bobo or whoever wanted to finish up buckleming's plot point, or at least partially since it's the tie up season, but they knew they had to write misha out for a few episodes and with deancas tensions driving Cas away already, throwing out a Going For Revenge That Will Backfire spin before storming out for a few eps

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:24 PM

But then it would be Dean not being able to forgive the "betrayal"It's gotta be something else Watch it be like

CastielYesterday at 10:24 PM

the betrayal vague blog is about sergei in that thing

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:24 PM

Kevin working for Chuck

CastielYesterday at 10:24 PM

it's the phrasing "arrogant" that catches me

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:25 PM

Most vague summaries hardly fit the actual plot points anyway It's just to sound mysterious

CastielYesterday at 10:25 PM

no but it would be easier to simply not apply an adjective "Castiel deals with a betrayal" is still vague

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:25 PM

Yeah but adjectives give oomph

CastielYesterday at 10:26 PM

arrogant is an odd idea for even the vague bloggiest vague blogger to tilt towards after skimming the content so I really doubt it's like kevin being forced to betray them or something like thatso unless it's about chuck himself, unlikely just too early for that level of RAAA

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:28 PM

Oh right didn't Misha say Cas struggles with this new Chuck reveal

CastielYesterday at 10:28 PM

well yeah thats kinda a duh

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:28 PM

I think the arrogant betrayal is in reference to Chuck

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:29 PM

So maybe it's just oddly phrasing that Yea

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:29 PM

It’s a kinda weird phrasing imo

CastielYesterday at 10:29 PM

like on the one hand cas knows Chuck isn't father of the year so I think on a personal level it's not surprising, it's more the existential level for him previously chuck was a shit dad that was just trying his best in a world far too easy to do his worst, even as god, thinking he was generally trying to be inherently good

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:30 PM

I hope Megatron comes back :)

CastielYesterday at 10:30 PM

that last scrap of faith is also kind of critically attached to his very existance because if god is evil and part of this cruel design what has his entire pre-winchester existence been, and even waxing and waning through it in his time with them

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:31 PM

Yeah I think deep down part of his core sense of self is the idea that he comes from the side of good

CastielYesterday at 10:31 PM

the fundamental loss of "god is good" is kinda quantifiably huger to him, whereas the humans more will have to grapple with "What is free will, did we ever have it"

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:31 PM

And this rips that away

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:32 PM

Unrelated but the promo sorta Nulls the early human Cas idea

CastielYesterday at 10:32 PM

yeah I noticed that, but it was odd

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

Yeah I agree

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

i'm putting down at least foreshadowing then

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

Unless they pulled all of the Misha footage From like ep 1 and 2

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

or chuck playing with the light switch for shits and giggles

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

He does still have that shotgun

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

we know cas has his coat back in like

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

Watch Cas come back from his sabbatical

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

idkwe've seen him with it back

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

With his grace ripped out

CastielYesterday at 10:34 PM

put it in a karambit i mean what

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM

Snort

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM

NOT SURE MISHA CAN HANDLE THAT Like on a pure choreography level

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM

Are you suggesting Misha isnt grace itself?For shame

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:35 PM

Not at all COUGH He has a cat-like agility

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:35 PM

LIKE A CAT

CastielYesterday at 10:38 PM

KSJDFksjdf I think younger misha could have but knowing he's always at risk of blowing out his hip probably not so much now like I feel that limitation in my soul

GarthToday at 6:17 AM

Okay so I don't think Amara is a made up character. I think she is Chuck's sister for real (or whatever they claim as siblings) but he used his story to trap her. Help fuel his plot.

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:17 AM

Like to me personally the option of Amara being made up has the best potential for an IC Chuck plot twist Esp since I still hold the idea that he lied about the universe going splat with his death"Writers lie"/"I'm a writer, I can do anything"

GarthToday at 6:18 AM

Well he did admit he's a liar rubs hands together This is gonna be so much fun

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:19 AM

GOD THAT LINE THO

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:19 AM

And that would be a Dabb level retroactive canon ramification Which is sorta his thing

GarthToday at 6:19 AM

Mwahahahaha and he said said to Becky while she went on about "you can't do this to the fans!"

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:19 AM

they make sense at least

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:20 AM

But I'm not sure they wanna go the route of Stripping a female character of her entire agency for male pleasure But I don't see a whole lot of options on how they take Amara out of the playing field Unless Chuck deadass eats her for the joint Godhead

GarthToday at 6:21 AM

Honestly he just might

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:22 AM

But that's like DBZ power level bullshit

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:26 AM

AU!Dean who's a baddy pls

GarthToday at 6:26 AM

Damn trailer successfully tripping us up

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:27 AM

Deadass just have pull the jackass from the 5.04 reality Maybe that's why Lucifer Sam is tied to a chair as well Like Chuck just put him in white clothes to paint a big target for endverse!Dean And it's actually just Sam

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:28 AM

yeah that was my thought too

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:28 AM

BUT THAT IS THE SORTA SPECC THAT'S USUALLY TOO VAGUE FOR ME ALREADY And was that Singer Salvage?

GarthToday at 6:28 AM

We're just throwing things out there and laughing It looked like it might be

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:29 AM

BEN JUST LET LOOSE BUD ITS OK

GarthToday at 6:29 AM

But the new building is throwing it off

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:29 AM

THE CRACKIEST SPEC THE BETTER

GarthToday at 6:29 AM

Something else could have been built thoIt's been yrs

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:29 AM

LOOK MY WHOLE THING IS DOING ANALYSES BY GATHERING EVIDENCE THAT SUPPORTS MY ARGUMENT IT'S SEARED INTO MY BRAIN More cage imagery

12 notes · View notes

1112lw · 5 years

Note

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

#Arche.txt #asks #ask #long post

6 notes · View notes

b00bconnoisseur · 5 years

Text

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

#my face #mutual peeps #not-my-brain #asks #60 questions

33 notes · View notes

weareallfallengods · 5 years

Text

Survival

Writing prompt:

If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

********************************************

Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.

#writing prompt #short story #what if #what would you do #one shot #writeblr #death #language

20 notes · View notes

chickenkooks · 6 years

Note

Howd ur vacation go babe? Nice to hear from u again and know things are going great!!! Wink wink lmao

anonymous said:

Hey, how your last week of vacation went? By the way I’m so happy for you and for your new relationship!! Wishing you all the best! 💞

floralmins said:

so how’d the last week of your vacation go 👀

:-)))))) well. ha ha ha. last week of vacation? ha ha LOLZ it was gREAT AND BY GREAT I MEAN FUCKING AWFUL YOU GUYS WONT BELIEVE ME PROBABLY BUT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BACK SUNDAY NIGHT. I HAD PLANS TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND THAT NIGHT BUT I DIDNT EVEN GET BACK TO MY APARTMENT UNTIL WEDNESDAY MORNING FROM LITERALLY DRIVING THRU THE NIGHT. I WANNA KILL MYSELF JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

this is long as fuck so here we go:

so. we had to catch two or three planes on saturday because my mom had to get our flights MONTHS in ahead because flights are expensive. its cheaper to have tons of flights just to get to one destination than one that takes you directly there, such as a flight directly from chicago to germany. ANYWAY

so we got on our first flight but missed our SECOND one. and because that was the first flight in our reconnected flights home, we wouldnt be compensated for it and it was OUR fault. even though it was the plane that was late and only gave us an hour to check in, check our luggage, and fucking find the terminal. we try to get another flight SOMEHOW but there were litereally none available until late the next day and we wouldnt be able to reconnect w our other connected flights anyway so this is where the fun begins, friends :-))))

long story short: my mom and i basically spend the rest of the afternoon and evening at the airport trying to get a flight of SOME sort. BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT. MY MOM HAD LOST HER WALLET A WEEK OR SO AGO IN ONE OF THE TRAIN STATIONS SO WE’D BEEN USING MY CREDIT CARD. MY CREDIT CARD HAS A LIMIT OF $5000 ON IT. TO PAY FOR A FLIGHT HOME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE WOULD COST US $5000 AT LEAST so thats fun

so my boyfriend calls me and im distracted and my mom goes to the bathroom while we’re literally just scratching our genitals waiting to hear back from my grandma if she could help us get a flight home at all. WELL MY MOMS BAGS WERE IN THE CHAIR BESIDE ME AND I DIDNT SEE IT APPARENTLY BC MY MOMS BAGS GET STOLEN BY A HOMELESS MAN. SHE HAD MY CARD STILL AND HER PHONE BUT HER FUCKING PASSPORT WAS IN THERE

at this point, im just reliving this all again and im triggered. i tell everyone i see that im never getting on another aircraft ever again LMFAO but after that, we go to the airport police to try to find her bags but nope. theyre gone and we are screwed. not only can we not AFFORD to get home at least by monday night, my mom would be fucking DETAINED the second she gets back without a passport. so thats great and fun and nice. its like 11 PM at this point in italy so we go to get a hotel w the airport staff. there is no vacancy. we spend the night in the airport. neither of us can sleep because its an AIRPORT and im paranoid that MY bags will be stolen now so we literally are awake for 24 hours straight

WE GET A HOTEL BUT CANT CHECK IN UNTIL NOON SOOO LET ME TELL YOU. DONT RECOMMEND THAT. 0/10 BUT WE DID GET TO THE HOTEL AND SLEPT LITERALLY FROM NOON THAT NEXT DAY TILL 6 AM THE DAY AFTER

fast forward to my grandma managing to buy us a flight home (god bless my grandma) and we would get home tuesday night. at this point, i just learned to lower my expectations bc i wouldbe disappointed otherwise. SO we go to the fucking us embassy to get my mom an emergency passport. then leave the next morning at like 6 am to make our 10 am flight. that goes great. until our NEXT flight home (and that flight was 8 hours so we’re in america at this point) is fucking delayed. then CANCELED all together bc of bad weather. so

we go to the customer service and they (bless them) manage to get ME a seat on a flight that leaves in like an hour back to chicago. but only me. my mom is put on standby and i might have to fly home without her. i swear this was some land before time shit. LMAO but she comes with me thru security and to the gate BUT THEN THIS NEW FLIGHT IS DELAYED BY AN HOUR. THEN TWO HOURS. THEN THREE HOURS. THEN A FUCKING FIVE HUOR DELAY. by the time we get on it and we started boarding at 9:30 pm….. we dont even leave the dock until 11 pm so ive accepted my fate at this point. it is unlikely ill be home tuesday night. a sad story and alex was super bummed about it but anyway hey at least my mom managed to get a seat

thats the end of my sad tale basically. in summary: fuck airplanes

#i wont talk about how we got in chicago at 2 am but i leave 6 hours away now #SO I HAD TO DRIVE HOME THRU THE NIGHT #MY MOM BEGGED ME NOT TO LMFAO #BUT I WANTED TO SEE MY FUCKING CATAND BOYFRIEND #it was so cute bc i just hit the sheets as soon as i got back #and i wake up like a half an hour later to my bf hovering over me LMFAO #HE SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH #but he was so sweet #and we had good american pizza :-(((#we literally spent the entire day of wednesday either on my living room floor #in my bed #and in my shower #we did not do ANYTHING productive at all #but i also took a nap halfway thru and he was an angel not to wake me #ANYWAY THIS IS ABOUT MY NIGHTMARE GETTING HOME #t:ans #q

3 notes · View notes

theaterboyinwonderland · 6 years

Note

U make me answer 25 q I make u answer 1-50 :^)

Hey! Fuck you you hoe :D Tumblr mobile wouldnt let me.copy paste so i wrote this shit in a google doc admire how.much energy i put into this. You fuck 1) counter couch or top of the dryer? Easy couch its comfy and easy to sit on. Plus diff postions are easier2) Your last sexual encounter? Good or bad and why? Depends, do u count phone sex? If so ugh…? A week ago? irl probs like...4 or 5 months ago. For real sex like 2 or 3 years. Phone sex was good! My mans hot. Irl dude was also goo! Hes a pretty close friend ive hooked up with b4 and probs will later but eh. And for real sex god he sucked. Last longer bro3)Fictional person you think would be good in bed? Lust from FMA.4)Something that never fails to make you horny? A guy biting my neck and saying “like that baby/love/ect” my neck is SUPER sensitive and a homie love a good pet name5)Where is one place youd never have sex? A hospice 6)The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when? I was with the dude from 2 and we were both WASTED. He like wanted me.to blow him so naturally i did but he thrusted into me without telling me. Now heres the thing i got a gag reflex but i can control it kinda well. Drunk me however cant and if a long phallic thing goes down outta nowhere i also cant. Anyway so i puked on him. Needless to say we didnt finish that night. 7) Weirdest thing to ever turn you on? When i was a kid id get horny hearing the sex sounds from fable. Which after replaying them are SOOO bad8)What is the best way to sexually bind someone?Im a sub bottom dude dont fuvking ask me. Probs get them to love you?9)Fastest way to make you horny? Pin me to a bed force eye contact and then kiss/bite me neck/throat. Dirty talk also helps.10Top or bottom? Bottom 11)We were about to have sex but then…. I probs said im tired 12)Is one orgasm enough ? Are multiple necessary? SEE…depends..i fucking HATE over stim. I legit banned jd from doing it to me. THAT BEING SAID. If irs an ALL NIGHT thing and i only.cum.once (probs at the end edging fuck) im gonna be a mess. 13)Something you've hidden in your room that you dont want anyone to find? The body14)Weirdest nickname a SO has ever called you? Ugh...idk ive never gotten more than babe till i started dating jd and his are nice like baby/my prince/my everything. I use cringy ones like darling sweetie honey. Ughh t help one guy see if he liked she/her pronouns i called him princess. He later decided he like he/him so i just called him my prince15)Two things u like about oral? Taste, hearing a guy get more horny and start that low whimper/moan when they're close.16) weirdest sexual act someone has ever preformed or tried to perform on you? All of my so and shit are basic af. Bondage and a collar are the furthest anyone has asked me. Though a random asked if i was cool with water sports.17)Have u ever tasted yourself? Ive tasted my cum and it was….okay? Ive never sucked myself a bitcg aint flexable.18)Is it ever okay to not use a condom? Ive…never…..used….one...haha….19)Who was the sexiest teacher u ever had? I never had one but FUCK there one this one just outta college history teacher (who apt had a big dick) and like DAMN he was fine.20)A food you would like to use during a sexual experience? I dont really wanna do food stuff? Its to messy and like...a waste of food? 21)How big is to big? 10+22)One sexual thing you would never do? IF YOUR FEET EVEN COME CLOSE TO FUCKING TOUCHING ME.23)biggest turn on? Wasn't this a q already? On a guy in gen i love singers. Abs and blonde hair dont hurt. Also being taller than me.24)Three spots that drive u insane? Neck hips collar bone25)Worst possible time to get horny? At work sense i work with old people (hey cas coulda stopped here you furry pope fucker)26)Do u like it when yoursexual partner moans? HELL FUCKING YEAH I DO! Im super audio based and i lovethat. I also have a praise kink so like moans are basically praise27)Worst sexual idea you ever had? What if i was straight?28)How much fapping is to much fapping? Ugh...HMMM...if you do it more than 3 times EVERY day maybe stop 29)Best sexual compliment youve ever had? So at the party me and the friend were at there wa:. Him. My ex. And another fuck buddy of.mine. a q came up about who gives rhe best head and whos the best kisser AND ALL OF THEM SAID ME. I was like “i am a damn good kisser “ and my ex said “fuck ya he is”30)Bald, landing strip, jumanji? Do whatever idc. Hairs hair.31)Is it good sex if you dontnut? No. Im impatient and needy.32) If they *love me* we fucking33)Fav part of your body? My eyes! I think they're nice. Other than that i hate myself lmao34)Fav forplay activities. Idk never done much. Pinned make out sound like a blast with grinding35)Love or sex? Love. Id rather have someone who really cares about me over a good fuck.36)What do u wear to bed? Underwear. Im not a pj or commando kinda guy37)First time u masturbated? Ugh….i must been like 11? It was b4 like i ever knew what it was and b4 i could cum. 38)Do u have any nude/masturbating pics/ videos of yourself? My boyfriend lives in another country, what do u think?39)Have you ever/when was the last time u had sex outside. Ive never had SEX but ive blown a couple.dudes in either a park or a park bathroom. One time.in a casino parking lot40)Have/wouldu have sex in public. See 39? Full blown sex PROBS NAH but bjs probs 41)Have/would u have a 3some?Ive had one! The ex and the fuck buddy while me and the ex were together. We never fucked but we all blew each other. Slash im down for a polyam resltionship if my partner is so id always be down. Slash slash me and jd are horny as fuck and have talked about having threesomes b4 so ye42)What is 1 random object you've used to masturbate? Ugh…? I humped my bed b4? Idfk?43)Have/would u ever masturbate at work/school. Ive blown several guys at school. So yeah id jo there. Work ive debated but thats cause SOMEONE os a fucking tease. 44)Have/would u ever have sex on a plane. No45)What is one song youd like.to have sex to? Dead girl walking.46)What is something nonsexual that makes you horny ? Hey fuck u i said this one47)Most attractive celeb? Thomas sanders or tom holland. now THATD be a threesome. Please no one show thomas this.48)Do u watch gay/lesbian poor? Why/why not? HMM I FUCKING WONDER49) If a child was born on the occasion of the last time u had sex, how old would that child be? 2 or 3 years old. God i need to get fucked. Soon50)Has anyone ever posted nude pics of.you online? No and if they do I'll murder the prick.Thanks for the qs cas i stg the next time u post an over 50 ask im.making u do them all :’) love you bb 💛 that was more fun than i thought itd be

1 note · View note

maylovexhs · 6 years

Text

Hi darlings! It’s May! So first thing first, THIS IS NOT AN IMAGINE OR UPDATE. ITS JUST ME TELLING MY EXPERIENCE ABOUT MY HARRY SHOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT IF YOU WANT TO. I saw a bunch of people doing threads and posting about how wonderful their time is and I was like I want to do it! I, in no way am trying to show off or brag about it. I just want to post it here because I’m friendly with y’all and I’ll just have the story on here for safe keeping. So ignore if you want(I put the keep reading for that) but yeah here’s my concert experience. WARNING: BELOW THE CUT IS A LONG LONG LONG POST. ENJOY THE SHAKY VIDEOS AND MY ANNOYING VOICE. This all happened one month ago ughh procrastination is the devil

I WENT TO SEE HARRY FUCKING STYLES LIVE IN CONCERT NIGHT TWO MSG AND I BLEW A KISS AT HARRY AND HE BLEW A KISS BACK.

. . .

he knows I exist.

Harry Styles knows I goddamn exist.

okay, let’s me backtrack a day or two before my concert. Actually a week, shall we?

So, it’s a week before Harry’s shows in nyc and I’m at home in Brooklyn with no harry tickets for none of the nights because of course 1. Both nights are sold out 2. I couldn’t buy tickets online from strangers cause y’all ever heard of scams? So, I’m at home in misery cause all over my twitter all my mutuals are tweeting how excited they are to go and I’m like “fUcKiNg GrEaT!” I’m pretty sure I posted shit of me gloating on here. ANYWAYS FAST FORWARD TO JUNE 21st, 2018(Harry’s first night/show at msg) and I’m on my living rooms couch on twitter. AND I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS THE UNIVERSE SAYING ‘WE GOT YOU HONEY’ or just a coincidence but the first thing i See is on my timeline is a tweet from ticketmaster saying along the lines of “Due to miscounting . . . There are tickets available for Harry Styles at msg night two . . .SALE” and I . . .i can’t even explain how I felt. It was like destiny. Like “SIS YOU WERENT MEANT TO GET TICKETS A LONG TIME AGO YOURE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM NOW. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE” and I was like “fuck it! I’m going to see my mans in concert and I couldn’t care about how shitty the seats are. It’s Harry of all people” so, I download the Ticketmaster app and ask my mom and my chill ass mom is like ‘really? The day before? This is a sign. God must really want you to see harry” and I’m like “YES”. So I use my moms card(I payed her back after) and buy the two tickets. AND LET ME JUST SAY! THE TICKETS! I GOT LUCKY WITH THE TICKETS. My tickets were seat 8 and 9, row 7, section 113

DO YALL KNOW WHERE THAT IS? THATS RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE! THATS THE SIDE BACK OF THE STAGE. And remember Harry’s stage is 360 honeys so I was hyped up. Honestly I thought it’s row 7, it’s not like we are in front! It’s not like he’s gonna see us. I’m bringing this up later cause well, you’ll see. But just remember I’m row 7. So I print out my tickets and I text my friends “HOES GUESS WHAT?” And I immediately text my best friend emmy(her nickname) “BISH IDGAF ABOUT YOUR STRICT PARENTS I WILL DRAG AND SNEAK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THIS WE AINT MISSING HARRY. WE AINT MISSING SEEING THE MAN IVE BEEN IN LOVE WIG SINCE 2012” and thank god her parents said yes. Emmy and I spent like the next two hours like “Oh let’s make a sign that’s says sing Shania Twain still the one Harry!” and we talked about “what should we do in the city tomorrow before Harry’s show?” Our show day was a very busy day for us. Ready? Let’s go!

So, in the morning I had a college orientation with Emmy and my other friend(I’m calling her Anna for privacy reasons). I arrived there early so from 9:15 am, Anna Emmy and I were learning about our college and making our schedule. We left around 12:30 pm. Emmy and I decided to leave for the city after but we had to pee first so THANK YOU ANNA FOR LIVING CLOSE TO COLLEGE AND ALLOWING US TO USE YOUR BATHROOM. GRACIAS. Oooooh, fun fact: June 22nd was also my graduation date but Emmy and I wasn’t going in the first place so YAY!

Anyways we said goodbye to Anna and we took the train to the city. We stopped at canal street and went to Greenwich village? Why? My friend Emmy is a huge fan of Justin Bieber and 5 Seconds of Summer so we were just like “fuck it! Let’s go hunting for them! Maybe today’s our lucky day” so we are in Greenwich which justin was spotted in but with our luck we couldn’t find him. We were like ‘oh well! Let’s just stroll around’ so we walk and GUESS WHICH APARTMENT BUILDING WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK PAST BY?

HARRY’S. WE WERE ABOUT TO PAST HARRYS APARTMENT. WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK WHERE HARRY WALK. IM TOO HEADASS FOR HIM(btw I don’t stalk him, I didn’t stand outside his building, his apartment address is publicly online and I did not mean to walk past his apartment, IT JUST HAPPENED) I take out my phone and tell emmy where we were and luckily I took a sneak picture low quality of the building. BUT EMMY! EMMY! She was like “I WANT A GOOD QUALITY PICTURE!” Emmy goes, takes a picture of the doors and the security guards give her a mean look from inside the building. And we are like “ABORT MISSION! ABORT!” Moving on, we’re like if we can’t find Justin, we’ll try 5 Seconds of Summer. And guess what? We can’t find them either! At this time it was like, 3 or 4 Pm? And I really need to sit down cause ya girl has no energy whatsoever. So we take the train and go to the area where msg is and we get pizza. Btw msg area is mad busy. Like really busy. Continuing, we finish our pizza. We go check out the outside of msg and I learn that we aren’t allowed in until 6 pm(I heard it from girls outside) And i’m like okay? So Emmy and I buy and get these pride flags and we go to wait and sit outside where the driveway is. So we wait there for like an hour hoping we see anyone but we don’t cause that’s out fucking luck. But we saw like a dressing bag like the ones where suit and dresses are carried in. We highly doubt it was Harry’s suit but hey? Oh and I took a picture right here

Anyways it 6, we go inside, get through scanning and while we are in line, everyone decided to airdrop one direction memes and of course I joined

We were let in at 6:45 pm and we were going to our section. By going, WE RAN. Literally we had to be stopped by a security guard to see our tickets. I’m getting off point but we get to our section and I’m expecting us to be in the middle cause it says row 7. And Emmy tells me we are in the second row and I was just like “??? Our ticket say row 7” and Emmy shows me that the section starts with row 6 and I was just like “BITCH WE’RE CLOSER THAN I THOUGHT. WE’RE ROW 2 ACTUALLY”. So we were seated between where Sarah and Adam was going to be. This was our view

Then we put our shit down, I went to get my harry merch(I got a shirt) and we sat there in our seats waiting for Kacey to start at 8:30 and KACEY IS SO CUTE YALL HAVE NO IDEA SHE IS THE YEEHAW QUEEN. I USUALLY DONT LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC BUT THIS SISTER GOT SOME TUNES. Here’s me singing along(eXcUsE my cringy premature voice I’m 19) I was going crazy during crazy

Then Kacey leaves and we gotta wait another 40 minutes for Harry. I kid you not the whole arena was singing Olivia by 1d even the security guard was shook af

As I was saying, we had to wait 40 minutes more for Harry so it was like 9:30 and FUCKING FINALLY HE COMES OUT AND I SWEAR EVERYONE LOST IT

ONLY ANGEL STARTED TO PLAY AND EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING. HE WAS SHINING IN HIS GODDAMN CALVIN KLEIN BLUE SUIT AND ISTG I KEPT TELLING MYSELF “BLOW KISSES AT HARRY! BLOW KISSES AT HARRY” SO THIS BISH HARRY COMES TO OUR SECTION I BLOW A KISS AT HIM LIKE THIS AND IDK IF HE SAW ME BUT HE BLEW A KISS WITH HIS HAND TO OUR SECTION AND YES IT GOT CAUGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA HOES

I WAS FUCKING SHAKING. CAUSE I WAS CERTAIN DURING THE CHAIN HE BLEW A KISS BACK AND IF HE BLEW A KISS AT ME DURING ONLY ANGEL IT WOULD BE THE FIRST OF TWO my heart is racing just remembering it. I’ll continue. So he finishes only angel and he introduces himself and he’s so cute I can’t even

Then they play woman and someone threw a bra on stage and I was screaming inside

Then they play Carolina, Stockholm syndrome, Anna, esny, jalboyh and finally fucking MEDICINE. I was going crazy during medicine as we all should. Sarah and Adam were fucking ripping the song up and I couldn’t be more proud. Then Harry talked to the crowd more and THIS HOE CALLED THE BACK(aka us) HIS BEST FRIENDS AND IM JUST LIKE THANK YOU. Then they start to play meet me in the hallway and the goddamn back screen goes down, blocking us from seeing Harry perform the song. EMMY AND I KEPT SHOUTING DISRESPECT AND THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WERE LAUGHING. then he the screen lifted up again as he finished the song and he goes down the walk to the b stage with mitch. Mitch is so cute fam. And we could see him get a bunch of flowers and I’m like “it’s what he deserves”. So he’s on b stage now and he begins to sing sweet creature and iicf AND DURING IICF WE ALL HAD OUR FLASHLIGHTS ON IT WAS SO NICE AND LIKE HEAVEN. MY BABY HARRY STARTED TO TEAR UP DURING THE SONG AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM. OOH AND WHILE THEY WERE ON B STAGE, SARAH ADAM AND CLARE WENT OFF THE MAIN STAGE. ADAM AND SARAH WERE TALKING OFF STAGE NEAR US I THINK I HAVE A VIDEO BUT ITS TOO DARK. BUT BASICALLY THEY WERE TALKING AND I GUESS IT WAS ABOUT HOW THEY WERE PLAYING CAUSE ADAM KEPT MAKING A GUITAR GESTURE AND ADAM HAD SUCH A GREAT SMILE AND SARAH WAS SO HAPPY So Harry and Mitch come back and they all play two ghosts and then wmyb

They finish wmyb and Harry talks to the crowd. He talks to a fan who was visiting from another country and he’s like “what did you do here?!?” being all excited. Then he talks to the girl who came with “I AM WITH CHILD” sign and then we found out she lied and harry criticizes her and he’s like “WE’RE ALL TRYING!” and I couldn’t stop laughing. Emmy said she lost some brain cells during that part. So harry begins to talk about sign of the times and me and Emmy were like “let’s shout FUCK TRUMP out loud”. WE DIDNT. We didn’t have the chance to but WE TRIED. The girls in front of us were smiling and laughing at us. I blame Harry cause he kept on talking so he couldn’t hear it anyways. Anyways sign of the times plays and everyone has their flashlights on. IT WAS MAGICAL.

So harry and the band leaves to do something and I’m like “wtf u going” so I start to record and they go under the stage. I guess they were doing a photo down there but they come back on a minute later.

They perform from the dining table and I WAS SO SAD I WAS READY TO FIGHT WHOEVER HURT MY BABY. then from the dining table was over and Harry’s like “I’m gonna sing another song” AND I FUCKING TOLD EMMY “WATCH IT BE STILL THE ONE” and BITCH I WAS CORRECT. So he brings Kacey on

They start to sing still the one and I was in my emotions fam and Kacey wore the rainbow dress and I was like YES QUEEN AND THEY BOTH MADE SO MUCH EYECONTACT IT WAS SO CUTE. Then Kacey leaves and they start to play the chain and I was like HELL YEAH AND DURING THE CHAIN HARRY SAID “DAMCE LIKE NO ONE IS NEXT TO YOU. YOURE NOT GOING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE TOMORROW” AND THAT HIT ME AND EVERYONE ELSE AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THE WHOLE ARENA WAS SHAKING LIKE I COULDNT EVEN STAND BECAUSE I WAS AVOUT TO FALL FROM THE AMOUNT OF JUMPING GOING ON AND THIS IS WAS WHEN HE BLEW A KISS AT ME. SO ITS LIKE THE END OF THE SONG AND HE COMES TO THE BACK AND IMMEDIATELY START TO BLOW KISSES AT HIM WITH BOTH HANDS LIKE BEFORE AND I WAS PRETTY SURE HE SAW ME BECAUSE HE BLEW A KISS WITH BOTH HANDS IN MY DIRECTION AND THEN HE DID THAT TO ALL TE OTHER SECTIONS. BITCH I WAS SHAKING.

The chain ends and they start to play kiwi and I get sad af because I know it’s the last song and harrrys like “this is the last song” and inside I’m like “I KNOW HOE DONT RUB IT IN MY FACE” I have to applaud miss Sarah jones whose fucking drumming was amazing. She fuckingkilled it. Kiwi plays and everyone was losing their shit having the times of their lives and then in the middle of kiwi some girl splashed Harry with water and he sings “YOURE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT” HE GOES STRAIGHT SAVAGE AND SOAKS HER AND EVERYONE AROUND. kiwi finishes and Harry does the whale water spit and oh my god it was ICONIC AF. Harry leaves first then the rest of the band and I was just standing there like SHIT. Emmy had to drag me out. I felt wasted after the concert IT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. LET ME JUST TELL YOU IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO SEE HARRY LIVE GO FOR IT DONT MISS YA CHANCE. A WHOLE DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME EMERGED THAT NIGHT SO THANK YOU HAROLD I HAD PROBABKY THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE THANKS TO YOU. EMMY AND I GOT TO DANCE WITH OUR PRIDE FLAGS AND WERE SO HAPPY. HARRY MAKES HIS SHOWS SO WELCOMING AND HAPPY. MISS CLARE IS SO CUTE. MITCH AND SARAH ARE SUCH PARENTS AND ADAM IS SUXH A GREAT FRIENDLY PERSON I MISS THEM SO MUCH THATS IT I MISS MY CONCERT SO MUCH I CRY

ALL PHOTO AND VIDEOS ARE CREDITED TO ME AND MY FRIENDS. DONT STEAL. I’ll post the full versions of the videos i have on my twitter. TUMBLR IS A DICK FOR ONLY ALLOWING GIFS of them.

Btw should I also write about my 5sos iheartradio experience and seeing Harry at the Dunkirk premiere? Tell me if ya want to know byeeee

#storytime with maylovexhs #my show #the gifs are horrible quality #I miss harry so much

2 notes · View notes

smashleestar · 3 years

Text

I swore I would give this some space. I only created this account because I’m a stalker right? I only created it for him? I don’t know why but I’m in a pissy mood. I hate feeling this way.

Today’s been a really great day. Nothing ground breaking but I got all of my stuff into my storage unit. I was living in another group home but I wasn’t taking my meds so they moved me back to the ground group home and now my room is really small again. I don’t really care, I can live with very little despite what everyone thinks about me. But I had a lot of shit in my room at Serena Woods and now the room is about 1/4 the size. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be collecting as much stuff as I have been anyway. In someways I feel better about being here than I did at Serene Woods. One fact being that there was a big fat man stalking me. As if right?

I skipped school today. Why? Because I’m really starting to think it’s all a bunch of bullshit and I don’t want to be involved. The girls are gossiping about one another to me and I FUCKING hate it. I don’t do well with dramA and I’ve really dealt with enough of it in my life that I don’t want to deal with it any longer. I wanna just color hair. Give facials. Make people feel good. I don’t need to hear the drama about what some other girl said in casual talk about your best friends brother girlfriend. DONT CARE! 6 weeks to graduation. 6 weeks to graduation.

My grand mother says she’s proud of me but she thinks I need to be on meds. One minute I need to be on meds, the next I don’t, so what is it grandma? I’m afraid she’s getting so old she doesn’t even remember conversations we’ve been having for months… I just hate the fact that she actually believes all of the bullshit.

I just talk about my uncle so if you’re bored you can just stop reading here. I just had some things I needed to get off my chest: For the thousandth time I thought about messaging my ex. But there’s no point. Hell just block that account. I’ve told him 100 times that I love him, that he’s the one and he just doesn’t believe me. There’s nothing else I can do. I can’t find him. And does he even really want me to? I don’t fucking know, he won’t talk to me!

No one would believe me. I spent the night talking with a friend and she definitely does believe me because people are fucking crazy. It just sucks. I feel I genuinely do love… I can’t name him.

My uncle isn’t doing well. I know it’s a lot but it’s true. It breaks my heart. He’s one of my favorite people in this world because in all honesty he’s just so normal. And he made Cara cry.. hahaha… I love people like that though, people who don’t apologize for who they are.

I’m probably gonna color now, maybe not, it’s 9:30 and I like my sleep.

And despite all that you believe about me: I DO BELIEVE IN GOD! Just because i say some shit doesn’t mean I believe said shit, and given the circumstances I was in some deep shit.

That’s all for now.

0 notes

ithisatanytime · 3 years

Text

To be honest im very glad she loves her boyfriend so much, initially i asked about her relationship status and she said it was open, and was very firm about that fact, emphasizing it to the point that it was the only thing leading me to believe she was at all receptive to my advances, of course thats not enough because i was so forward, and i knew she just likely wasnt that into me. but today when i pressed the issue, as i am a horny man and frankly im in a damn hurry, she changed her tune, now he was her soul mate. and you know what nothing could have made me happier. my last serious girlfriend was in a committed relationship but it was on the rocks, in part do to her going off her birth control (i was high test compared to her boyfriend, he had better musculature but prenatal test exposure was lower in the womb as evident by me being 6′2 and having masculinized bone structure in comparison to his.) and losing all attraction to him, also i kind of fucked their shit up by randomly confessing my feelings for her, we had known each other for close to ten years at that point, but i never made my feelings known because she was so fucking hot to me i just never thought of her as a possibility quite frankly, i was fucking SHOCKED to find out she felt exactly the same. this same exact scenario played out for me when i was a young man and i literally forced my girlfriend to go on hormonal birth control, the hormones in birth control literally trick your body into thinking that your pregnant, and pregnant women have different taste in men, they are looking for a provider obviously, their behavior changes dramatically, in part because they lose interest in higher testosterone but good physical genetics mates as they need someone to be their when they raise their baby, typically (naturally) this only lasts for 9 months than the baby comes, if the man who fathered the child is able to weather the emotional shit storm, he will stick with you through anything, and is thus a good potential provider for your offspring, the opposite is true if they met you while on hormonal birth control, as they value you for your provider traits and when they go off the bc their body thinks they are no longer pregnant, hence her looking for a big strong bull (me) too impregnate her.

she knew this indian guy since they were children, it was fucking obvious they were meant to be together, i hated being responsible for the heartbreak i caused BOTH of them. dude still wanted to be with her after she kicked him out of her life to fuck some drug addicted retard (me) but heres the thing i am not talking shit about her, they literally cant fucking help it, we are slaves to our hormones. i was very pleased to find out that she was hesitant to go on birth control as it “makes her crazy” i was so glad she brought it up and felt that way, as imagine going over this shit with a potential girlfriend, imagine how well thats going to go over! i have been familiar with hormonal BC’s effects on womens sexual preferences and ability to pair bond since i watched a documentary on the discovery channel about sex with i was 13, i was trying to masturbate, but i learned a lot instead, despite how crazy this sounds, all of this is accepted science and new papers get released about it every couple of years or so, its fucking insane that women arent made aware of this common side effect of birth control, so imagine how fucking conflicted i felt when she was adamant about getting back on birth control, i was 99 percent sure she would fall out of love with me, and at the time , it was insane to me how much she clearly loved me, she promised shed get off birth control as soon as i asked, i pleaded with her, saying that by the time she was on bc for even a couple weeks shed no longer love me or give a fucking shit what i had to say anymore, which seemed RIDICULOUS at the time, but she promised shed go off it as soon as i asked, i knew that would not be the case. within literal days after getting the hormonal IUD put in, she stopped looking at me the same, we started fighting all the time, it was horrible to see, especially for the second time, all men know what i am talking about, when that lok disappears, and of course she didnt get it taken out when i asked, and of course the fighting got worse and worse, who the fuck could stand living with me without loving me, suddenly all the bad shit about me (no job prospects, bad provider) that she had already been aware of for years became an issue, blah blah blah, it wasnt her fault, imagine being forced to live iwth someone who you didnt love, who loved you and stil wanted to fuck you. and of course as the fighting got worse and she slept on the couch, i could no longer sleep, i became obsessively jealous (mate retention strategy caused by testosterone masculinizing the brain) i knew she wasnt cheating on me, there was literally no way, but my guts were twisting and churning every single day, my behavior became increasingly erratic (men behave irrationally as well, in their own way) it all came to a head, after a solid month of the cold shoulder, i had finally landed a job interview to be a car salesmen (i built up a relationship with the neighbor i smoked iwth, and he landed me the job) but the day before i was set to be interviewed we had a massive fight which i started, because i tried to reason with her (in love men and women arent governed by reason) that she had been giving me the silent treatment for a month and i had been on my best behavior, which i had been, buying her gifts and flowers with the profit sharing check i got from my old job, but she started grabbing her stuff to leave, she wouldnt tell me where she was going and in my irrational state i was sure she was going to fuck an entire football team, an unbelievably searingly painful thought for a man, women literally cant comprehend this as they dont experience jealousy in the same way men do. so i slammed out of the house first into the streets of new york city, huffing and puffing trying to to cry as i pushed past the crowded streets, it was like 4 pm in the middle of queens. i found a bar and sat at the center of the bar, it was pretty empty when i walked in since it was like four o clock in the afternoon. i had 300 hundred dollars in my pocket and i spent it all that very night on beers and shots and whiskey sours, i had never gone to a bar of my own volition before and can count on one hand the amount of times id set foot in a bar, but i had been drinking more than i ever had in my life. the pain of jealousy and losing someone that i sincerely loved, and intended to marry was so intense that i started drinking and basically didnt stop until we were separated (havent really touched the stuff since, i dont really like alcohol) but i was losing the girl i loved, she was supposed to be my wife. i drank like there was no fucking tomorrow, just waiting for her to call me, which she did, but there was no love in her voice, no news on where she was, or who she was with (her girlfriends, studying for an exam) so i hung up and went back to drinking, my bartender was a young women, who may have been pretty i was not paying attention, so much so that when she finished her shift and left the bar, and a young woman sat next to me at the bar and tried to talk to me, she grew angry with me that i didnt realize it was the same bartender, who had been serving me drinks all night, she left in a huff, soon i felt people pressing up against my back as i finished my 20th drink of the day, i was way past my limit, but i was about to lose the girl i loved and become homeless on the streets of new york in my mind, she would never have done that to me, but my “home” had evaporated as soon as i left to new york, and after i lost my job delivering refrigerators he made it pretty clear he didnt want me around. he was not my real dad after all, just another of my mothers boyfriends, its not the same as a biological dad, for as good as he was and as much as he did for me, i was becoming too much, i cant describe the fear of the streets for someone who spent their lives homeless or near homeless is like, its always there. so i drank that way as the NYC bar grew very crowded and noisey, i had picked the hottest socail spot in the city to drown my sorrows,. i would drink until i couldnt feel the pain anymore, go home, puke my guts out, not remember anything and then regroup in the morning after she got home from her boyfriends house, thats a problem for tomorrow me. i was just waiting for her to call me and maybe show me some sign of warmth, some sign of the person i fell in love with. she did call me in fact, i was too drunk and the bar was too loud for me to hear it, i got up to take a piss and only then realized how crowded the bar actually was, people were dancing behind me the whole time and i didnt even realize it, it was packed from wall to wall, as i got up to take my piss, my last five fell out of my pocket onto the ground and i nearly fell over trying ot pick it up, plus the last shot i took i just spilled down my shirt sleeve, it was time to go home. i drunkenly stumbled towards the door the bar was so packed i literally had to raise my arms into the air (this detail will be important for later) as i made my way towards the exit suddenly she appeared in the doorway, i cannot describe to you my relief in this moment, how did she even find me? it was the last clear memory i have from that night, the only other memory i have is foggy, me drunkenly bragging that i could have beat up every dude in the bar and girls were totally trying to fuck me (see? im valuable) as she drove me home, the rest of that night is completely lost to me, i found myself suddenly in our bed, in the morning, i felt more hungover than i had ever been in my life by a factor of ten, i was shaking uncontrollably still half drunk and frightened (if youve never blacked completely out before you cant know what thats like) she informed me that i had pushed her, i was horrified, how could this have happened, and what more could i have been capable of, i didnt have time to process that however as her dad was on his way over from upstate new york, in my half drunk and frightened mind i knew he was coming to fight me, i went into fight or flgiht mode *if your dead comes here i wil lfuck him up!” even i couldnt believe i said that , her father was an unbelievably kind and gentle man, but i was frightened, i was gonna be homeless on the streets of new york, a forgotten man who fell through the cracks in the safety net, and worse i deserved it, my sense of self was shattered, how could i have pushed her? she made the right decision in having her father turn around, and head back to upsate new york. i cried like a fucking baby, how could i have done this? my father was a drunk who beat the shit out of my mother, and i remembered it vividly. i sobbed and sobbed, i had been doing a lot of that, i loved her from the beginning and worse, she had loved me too. i had no way of contextualizing it either, for me it was as if someone had woken me up to inform me that in my sleep i had punched a child, think about that, how do you process it? i had prided myself in never putting my hands on a woman unless she asked first (thats its own story that i will never fucking tell) i ddint even remember it, like at all, i ddint even remember us fighting, apparently i was barfing and doing somersaults of the bed and shit, as you do when you are blackout drunk. and she had never drank a drop of alcohol or smoked a single weed in her life, she must have been absolutely terrified. i wanted to die, it was over for good. we had made up in a sense, as the reality of the situation set in, we only ever held each other on the first and last night i was in newyork, and both times, you wont believe this but i have to say it because it was so strange, we cuddled face to face while her two cats cuddled each other inbetween us, only the first and last night.

part of why it was so hard for me, was because i knew i would miss her bitterly for the rest of my life, literally every day until i died, i knew from experience, and she woudl be really upset for a few months maybe and then never think about me again. my only hope was that she got back together with tha tindian boy she grew up with, he fucking cried outside of their apartment, and stil asked about her when she left him for me, this tore me up, as id been on the other end of that, he loved her better than i did, they were meant to be married but hormonal fucker and jewish sabotage has a combined effect of just fucking women right up, men too but i feel worse for the women. if you fuck a guy you should just stay with them honestly, you will be much happier long term. this started out as one thing, and then turned into something different, as i had been meaning to tell that story for years now. i know it seems like a lot of self pity and to be fair theres a lot of remorse too even to this day, i barely touched a drop of alcohol in the years since, and occasionally it will hit me like a ton of bricks out of the blue and i will excuse myself into my room to cry into the macaroni and cheese i was eating.

0 notes