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crazyinlovewithbucky · 1 year

Text

“don’t fill your void with me”

“Свою пустоту мною не заполняй”

Pairings: Villain!The Winter Solider!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: this takes place in an alternative universe where Hydra took over the world and the winter soldier killed all Avengers and he became the leader of Hydra and he’s controlling the whole world. He saw you one day and he determined you were his and he made sure of that. making you live very comfortably as his “favorite” mistress and he turns very very soft with you.

Warnings: heavy smut, some fluff (if u squint), villain bucky turns sweet, oral (f receiving), jealousy, dark themes, dark!bucky to soft!bucky, dom bucky, lots of praise + lots of praise in Russian.

This was inspired by Яд by Erika Lundmoen

please read my author note it’s very important!

AU/N: this is only part one and still working on part two. thought I’d make this only one part but it was too long I had to cut it into two parts. I need to remind you that English is not my first language so excuse any misspelling or mispronunciation of any words or any grammatical mistakes lol. Hope you enjoy this dark fantasy I had of Bucky as I was wondering how he would be still a villain. Also, this was heavily inspired by ‘Yad’ (Яд) by Erika Lundmoen, I love this song so much and it always reminds me of Bucky in his Winter solider era. Enjoy loves xx

PART 1.

You sighed before swallowing that last sip of the red wine glass that the air hostess brought you. This was already your 3rd glass. You looked through the window to the dark clouds and the night sky as you kept thinking and wondering how you get here in the first place. It was somewhat a normal Friday late afternoon, you were getting ready for the evening, and your –rich new– friends have prepared for you. They were setting you up with a blind date, they said it’s a very handsome guy who's an heir to a big industrial company. You weren’t amused that much as none of them know your secret or your secret lover.

Then you remembered him, your secret mysterious lover, who’s the reason you’re living this lavish rich lifestyle. You remembered six years ago, on the news, you were watching Captain America getting brutally killed by none other than The Winter Soldier himself. You watched the fall of this new organization of superheroes and agents called “The Avengers” and the new world order seeing light under the hands of The Winter Soldier. Hydra ruled and controlled every country in the world, including the USA. It was three years ago when you saw on the news that every leader and all the rulers of Hydra were killed and it was an inside job. The Winter Solider rebelled and killed every single one of them and he, alone, became the new Hydra leader, recruiting super soldiers and making the biggest army of super soldiers known to man.

A year ago, you were just a normal waitress girl, in a hotel restaurant, minding your own business and working just to make ends meet. You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth and your upbringing was very normal and somewhat poor. Until one day your boss came and told you there will be a very important diplomatic meeting that’s happening in the hotel and he assigned you and two of your coworkers to wait on the leaders and diplomats. On this same very evening, you saw him for the first time. The Winter Solider. Bucky Barnes. Captain America’s best friend who was brainwashed by Hydra and was under control for decades. He was so charismatic, terrifying, very handsome, and absolutely dangerous. Just like a fallen angel, just like Lucifer himself. You were drawn to him at first glance until he noticed you and made eye contact with you. Your heart skipped a beat then, there was a connection between you both, you were certain of this as at first glance, you saw his face change emotion and he was staring at you.

“барышня, only 5 minutes till landing” You were brought back to reality from that memory train you were on by the sound of the bodyguard on your left. you nodded to him with a smile and fastened your seat belt around your hips.

Looking back at your past now made you wonder if you actually deserve to live this life or not, to go everywhere with a private plane like the one you’re in now. To live in the finest, most luxurious apartment in Brooklyn, to have rich friends and live a rich lifestyle, to attend galas and be the face of many luxury brands, all because of him, all because he liked you the first time he saw you, all because he promised you to make all your wishes and dreams come true only if you became his, all because he wanted his “favorite one” to be separate from the other women and to live like a princess whose all her dreams are granted.

In fact, you didn’t ask for any of this at all, but you loved the idea that he made all of this for you just because he thinks you’re worthy of it. In the end, you were “his favorite”.

The plane landed in the small very private airport near his mansion in Russia. you had your fur coat covering you. At least, you were dressed very fancy for the ball you were going to with your friends to meet your blind date. As you were about to leave your apartment, you were met by Bucky’s super soldiers' bodyguards at the front door of your apartment, telling you that The King wants you now. So you didn’t argue, you nodded and just took your bag and phone and left with them. This was your deal with him, him giving you whatever you want and desire in life, and you being available and there whenever he calls for you or want you. He has the plane ready for you and super soldiers protecting you and going everywhere with you, in case something goes wrong.

The guards guided you into the mansion and into Bucky’s suite which took up the whole second floor of the mansion. You walked with them till you arrived in front of the door of his office then they left you there alone. You knocked slightly.

“входить” his voice was deep and calm, you just felt butterflies in your stomach as you were very anxious and excited to see him, it’s been nearly a month since your last meeting with him and you missed him dearly. You opened the door and entered and as soon as you closed it behind you, he looked up from the pile of papers in front of him, his hair was perfectly combed, and he grew his beard, which was a very new look on him but also a very sexy one. He grinned widely as soon as his eyes met yours. “ahhh моя кукла”. he stood up from behind his desk and you walked closer to him and he moved closer to you too.

He kissed you very deeply and passionately before hugging you tightly, you hugged him back and buried your face in his neck. “Missed you so much, кукла” he whispered in your ear and kissed your neck softly.

“Missed you too, James” you smiled softly and he started to rub your back slightly.

You didn’t actually know how to address him, didn’t know if you should call him sir, king, soldier, Bucky, or James. You never actually asked, but you found James to be just perfect as you felt weirded out to call him sir or king. ‘James’ was good enough based on the relationship you both had, you were not actually lovers or boyfriend and girlfriend to be intimate and call him Bucky and yet you both weren’t platonic or had a strict respectful relationship to call him sir. so ‘James’ did the job perfectly.

At least, he didn’t complain about whatever you call him.

He removed your fur coat slowly and looked at your body and your fancy dress. “You look so beautiful,” he held your hand and spun you around to take a good look at the dress. It was a tall tight dress that hugs your curves perfectly with a very long slit on the left that shows your whole left leg from your upper thigh to your left foot. It was burgundy colored with a black sheer silk attached to it that gives the dress a matte look under lights. “did you get all dolled up for me?” he smirked at you when his eyes left your body and met your eyes.

“Well, umm-,” he leaned back on his office desk and sat on its edge and pulled you to him slowly “you didn’t give me any heads up that we were supposed to meet so I was actually going to a ball party with a bunch of friends” you looked down to your hands playing with his black suit’s blazer, trying to hide the truth that you were going on a blind date.

The thing you didn’t know about Bucky is that he is very good at reading body language and the second you broke eye contact and said that, he knew you were hiding something and that’s not the truth. But he didn’t want to confront you yet about it so he took it slowly. “Oh really?” he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as your chests now touching and he has a perfect view of your boobs as it’s pushed up from the tight dress. “what kind of a ball party?” he moved his head and start kissing your neck.

“A normal one.” you bit your lower lip as his kisses now moved down to your shoulders and collarbone.

“normal one? what kind of a ball is that exactly?” he chuckled while his right hand moved down slightly and he started rubbing your left butt cheek as his kisses never stopped and his lips moved down to your chest, leaving more kisses.

“Just a normal ball party, James” you sighed, feeling more frustrated as you are getting more turned on by his touching and kisses and you feel yourself getting wetter, you can’t stand wearing your panties anymore, it’s getting more uncomfortable as you are soaked down there.

“A normal ball party where rich people gather around for whatever reason, stuffing their faces with crab cakes and drinking champagne until they’re passed out,” you said with an annoyed tone as you can’t just stand the teasing anymore.

The relationship you had with Bucky was just casual sex every now and then unless that was what you thought it was until 8 months ago, he started to show more feelings, starting saying “I miss you”, “I want you”, “you are beautiful”, “my girl”, “my favorite girl”, “my doll”, “baby girl”, but never the word “love”. He started being more romantic. Taking you on dates, of course, they were secret private dates as he was a known criminal and he shouldn’t be seen in public at all but with his power and money, he can rent or buy any restaurant or place in the world just so you both could enjoy your time and dates together.

He was very gentle with you, protecting you, getting you a big apartment in Brooklyn which was like 3 blocks away from his childhood home, he didn’t mention that at all but you knew it when you went to the Captain America museum and explored the whole room dedicated to Sargent James Buchanan Barnes, Captain America’s best friend.

You learned a lot about him, actually about the old him. Now, he’s just the winter solider, the cold blooded murderer who killed all his superiors and killed the avengers and is now running the Hydra organization and having the biggest super soldiers army in the universe.

But at least, he had a soft spot for you.

He moved his hands to the back of your thighs and lift you up, your legs wrapped quickly around his waist, which was sort of a habit as he loved picking you up like this, like his small girl. he kept looking at you and murmuring I miss yous and you look so beautiful, against your lips while kissing you and walking towards his bedroom, there was only a wall between his office and his bedroom. he opened the door, and his room wasn’t unfamiliar to you but you were just amazed every time by how big and wide it is. The ceiling is so high up and the walls are filled with paintings and mirrors.

He put you on his king-sized bed and you just laid on your back, looking at him. He smirked at you and moved his hands down your dress and took off your panties, freeing your soaked cunt from the now-uncomfortable material. “So, it was just a normal ball party with normal rich friends, huh?” he held your left ankle and pulled it up, and rested it on his shoulder. you nodded and saw him undoing the straps of your heels and taking them off. “Are you sure about that, кукла?” he gave you a very intense look and at that moment you knew that he knows you were hiding something so keeping it hidden won’t do you any good. “You know I hate it when you lie to me.” he rubbed your ankle and calf slowly, giving it a simple soft massage.

“I am not lying to you” Your tone was serious. “My friend, Emma, she set me up on a blind date with this guy,” you saw his facial expression get more tense and his hand tightened on your ankle a bit harder. “I mean, no one knows that I’m- umm, that we-… you know, together” Your tone was shaky as you started to get more anxious as his grip hardened on your ankle. “they just thought I’m single and wanted me to have a date so-..”

“So you decided to dress and doll up for a strange man, didn’t you?” he cut you off suddenly as you can see he started to get angry.

“No, they don’t know about us. No one knows. So I’m just playing the part. acting it. That’s it.” you said with a sad tone, breaking eye contact with him and looking up at the ceiling and huffing. this is truly what you felt like. Playing a part in Bucky’s world. Being nothing more than his sex doll and his mistress. You hate the fact that you wanted him and wanted to be with him forever and you just can’t handle living this lifestyle anymore. Yes, it’s a blessing but you didn’t want all of that, you didn’t ask for any of that. You just wanted him.

“Well, this dress is no good anymore. Can I tear it apart?” he put your left leg back again on the bed and pulled your other leg by the ankle and on his shoulder and removed your heels from this one too.

“Why isn’t it good anymore? I think it’s pretty.” you looked at him confused, not knowing what the dress has to do with anything.

“It is pretty but now, for me, it’s what you wore for another man’s eyes and not mine. I hate it now.” he pulled it up to your upper thighs and your legs are now bared to him.

“But what am I going to wear when I leave? Can’t just be wearing my fur coat. It’s freezing outside.” he chuckled darkly at your words and looked at you with a dark smirk on his face.

“As much as it would be so fucking hot of you to not wear anything except for a fur coat, I can get you any other dress that you want,” he grabbed the dress from its slit on your left thigh with his metal hand and ripped it open until the dress was fully ripped from the left side. “anyways, you’re staying for the whole weekend with me, I don’t want you wearing any clothes at all.” he moved up to meet your eyes and he pepper kissed your jawline. “and if you got cold, you can wear my clothes, my wardrobe is all yours, милая” he ripped and removed the dress from your body, leaving you fully naked underneath him.

you moaned slightly as his hands roamed your body, massaging and rubbing your boobs while his tongue is attacking your lips and mouth, kissing your hungrily. You opened your legs more for him, signaling to him where you wanted him the most. he removed himself from on top of you to get undressed. He removed all of his clothes and got on top of you again, kissing you passionately then starting to kiss you all over. Leaving marks and love bites all over your body, showing you who you truly belong.

“ты моя навсегда, куколка” his voice is raspy and deep, he moved his head down and kissed and sucked on your nipples, of course leaving marks and love bites on your boobs too. You were so needy for him and a part of you was glad that he was as much as needy for you as you are of him.

“James, please. I need you so bad. Please fuck me” you whined and opened your legs more for him. he pulled his head up and looked at you with nothing but pure lust in his now dark blue eyes.

“No, baby doll. No fucking. I missed you too much to just fuck you. I’m going to make love to you ‘cause you deserve this, honey. you’ve earned this.” he kissed your lips passionately but you were just startled, confused, and slightly shocked. You kept wondering why he would say such things and do such things. It’s the first time you ever see him being like this to you or talking like this to you. You were sick of these feelings you have for him and he was just toying around with them.

“You make love to someone you love, James. What we have isn’t love” You looked directly into his eyes with a concerned look on your face.

“Maybe you are right,” these words went straight to your heart and smashed it. You had a little hope he would correct you and tell you he loves you. “But tonight, just pretend that we’re in love. act it like you just said you’re acting it and playing a part.” you wondered if toying with your feelings like this was his way to punish you for what you just said about playing a part in your new life. “make me make love to you. make me show you how you’re supposed to be loved. Or at least humor me, принцесса” his mouth never left your face or your body. He couldn’t stop kissing you and leaving marks everywhere on your neck and body. You weren’t sure what his intentions were by what he just said. A little part of you hoped he meant what he was saying.

You felt his cock twitch against your thigh and felt him leaking. You couldn’t hold it any longer and you lift your hips up to meet his. Signaling to him that you need him. “I’ll give you whatever you want, just let me take my time with you first. I missed you too much” He said between breaths and kisses as he’s now moving down, kissing and leaving love bites all over your belly. “missed this belly,” he kissed your belly button. “missed my little ladies,” he grabbed your boobs with his hands as his mouth kept going down to your lower belly.

“but I missed this pretty girl the most.” you could feel his hot breath against your soaked cunt now, gushing more at the new nickname he gave to your pussy. he groaned when he saw you gushing and your slick is wetting the bed underneath you, making a mess everywhere. he looked up at you and you locked eyes with him while he slowly licked a long stripe between your folds, never breaking eye contact. This sight alone had you crying out and shutting your eyes while throwing your head back on the pillows.

Bucky kept flicking his tongue over your sensitive bud and sucking on it. He was really taking his time, he wasn’t fast or hard. He was simply just eating you out, slowly, gently, like he actually wants to taste you. You were so needy that you wanted more than that. You started pushing your hips more into his face and grinding slowly. “Greedy aren’t we, my little girl?” He got up and wiped his chain from your glistening slick with the back of his hand.

He got on top of you again and pressed his lips against yours, and you can taste yourself on his lips. he licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance and you opened your mouth happily for him, licking his tongue and tasting more of yourself. “Do you know what do you taste like?” he broke the kiss but his lips were right above yours. you shook your head slightly and bit your lips. “Like fucking peaches.” he pushed his tongue into your mouth again, kissing and licking it all over. “You taste like fucking peaches, especially your pussy.” you moaned into his mouth “You’re driving me insane, принцесса. Guess peaches are my new favorite fruit”.

He buried his face in your neck, attacking the sensitive skin again with kisses, especially that sweet spot that gets you all turned on and horny. As if you’re not going to lose your mind already from how horny you are. You could feel his tip pushing slightly on your clit and you were just a moaning mess at this point. “Ready for me, love?” he lifted his head and rested his head on your forehead, locking eyes with you.

“Always, Bucky” you whispered, his whole expression changed. his eyes widened a bit at the sound of his name slipping out of your mouth like honey. He hadn’t heard this name in so long, and you say it like this had his heart beating faster, if he wasn’t in love with you before, he believes now he is.

………………………………………………………………..

PART TWO

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crazyinlovewithbucky · 1 year

Text

“don’t fill your void with me”

PART TWO.

“Свою пустоту мною не заполняй”

Pairings: Villain!The Winter Solider!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: this takes place in an alternative universe where Hydra took over the world and the winter soldier killed all Avengers and he became the leader of Hydra and he’s controlling the whole world. He saw you one day and he determined you were his and he made sure of that. and now after you both reunited, he shows you how much he cares for you and admits his feelings at the end.

Part One.

Warnings: smut, lots of fluff, villain bucky turns sweet, some angst, jealousy, dark themes, dark!bucky to soft!bucky, dom bucky, lots of praise + lots of praise in russian, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, speaking in russian.

This was inspired by Яд by Erika Lundmoen

please read my author note it’s very important!

AU/N: hey guys, part two is here. I need to remind you that English is not my first language so excuse any misspelling or mispronunciation of any words or any grammatical mistakes lol. Hope you enjoy this dark fantasy I had of Bucky as I was wondering how he would be still as a villain. Also, this was heavily inspired by ‘yad’ (Яд) by Erika Lundmoen, I love this song so much and it always reminds me of Bucky in his Winter soldier era. Enjoy loves xx

PART ONE

“Always, Bucky” you whispered, his whole expression changed. his eyes widened a bit at the sound of his name slipping out of your mouth like honey. He hadn’t heard this name in so long, and you are saying it like this had his heart beating faster, if he wasn’t in love with you before, he believes now he is.

"What did you say?" he sounded out of breath while looking at you with slightly wide eyes, he lifted himself slowly with his hands on each side of your head, pushing himself up.

You panicked a little and your heart started to beat a little faster, "I-I'm sorry. I- Bucky. No, James. I- I meant to say J-James. I'm sorry-y" your voice cracked as you were stumbling on words. you used your elbows to lift yourself up a little as your heart kept racing, not knowing what you should say or do next. Your body just wanted to feel his breath and touch again, and without thinking, you found yourself moving your lips closer to his and looking him deeply in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Jamie" you whispered against his lips.

In the beginning, He felt so strange, not good strange and not bad strange, just strange. These feelings now, you, your words, the names 'Bucky' and 'Jamie' slipping so sweetly from your mouth, and oh, your mouth, this mouth that looks so delicious and sweet to him. These names you called him just now, reminded him of his old life, before Hydra, before being the winter soldier, even before the war. Where everything was just colorful, he was happy, genuinely happy. He felt so happy at this moment, with you underneath him, so close to him, calling him the name he once cherished and loved. If he felt anything for you before like admiration or if these feelings were mainly sexual, now he's certain that he loves you, hell, he'd do anything for you as if he hasn't been doing that already, but now is different, now he wants you to be happy, he wants you with him, always. But suddenly, he was reminded of his awful present, him being the head of Hydra, and being a cold-blooded murderer. He cannot afford to bring you into this life, because he's sure everyone will use you to get him, to hurt him, to destroy him and he promised himself he won't let this happen again.

"It's okay, but don't say it again." his tone was cold, you actually shivered at these harsh words. "Jamie is nicer, I'm okay with it" he kept leaning towards you, which made you lean back and lay again on the bed, underneath him, while he kept nipping and kissing your neck. You can't stop thinking about his reaction when you called him Bucky, he looked shocked but you found something in his expression that indicates happiness, you swear his lips twitched as he was fighting not to smile. Then suddenly, his gaze darkened and his expression went somehow cold, you hated that. You want him to smile, you want him to remember who he was, and you want to save him from this darkness that surrounds him.

He went back to kissing you all over, making you shiver and whimper under his kisses and touches, his mouth and tongue moved to your boobs, he caressed them with his hands then sucked a hickey on your right nipple while pinching and twisting your left one, you kept whimpering and moaning, feeling more wetter.

He lined his cock to your pussy and started to move it and rub it on your clit and between your folds as he was smearing your juices all over his cock. He pushed in slowly, his head now filling you slowly as you whimpered and whined, "Don't tease, please" You whined and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in his neck.

"Told you, I'm taking my time with you, кукла" he whispered in your ear before biting your neck while he pushed the rest of his cock inside you. He was very big, and you always take time to adjust to him. you remembered the first time you both did it and you were murmuring to yourself how it wouldn't fit and he laughed and told you, it will and how you are his "good girl" and will take it like "the good girl you are". You clenched around him as you remembered his praises to you.

"Ahh, Fuck, you're squeezing the life out of me, милый, as if you aren't already so tight for me" he was out of breath as he bottomed out and stilled inside you for a while, making you adjust oh him.

"J-James, please move. I need you. please, Jamie, please." you whined as you needed more friction. He groaned as he started moving out of you, dragging his length in and out of you in slow strokes, grinding his hips slowly into yours. You swear you can feel his tip hitting that deep soft spot inside you that's so close to your cervix. You remembered he hit your cervix more than once during your rough hard sessions when he was so worked up and just wanted to fuck his stress away. You wished quietly, he would give up on this "love-making" attitude and start fucking your brains out. You wanted that and not that love-making bullshit, you don't want to get attached to him more than you already are.

He started to go a little faster, he groaned and moaned your name as he was sucking more hickeys on your neck. He gripped your hips and moved his hips to change the angle, and oh god, this new angle had you crying out loud, even though he was moving slowly and deeply inside you but it felt so good, this was way better than any hard or rough sex you both had.

He sat up while still rutting and fucking you deeply, then he moved his right hand down your body until it reached your left calf, he pulled it up on his waist and you were quick to wrap it around it, his right hand kept caressing and rubbing on your left thigh while his metal left hand moved and opened your right leg more. That gave him more space to move deeper and now his tip was hitting and rubbing your cervix. You screamed at the sensation and arched your back, feeling your orgasm so close.

"тебе так хорошо рядом со мной, куколка. Я никогда не хочу покидать тебя." he groaned loudly. you felt his cock twitching inside you and you knew that his orgasm is approaching too. His metal hand moved to your clit and he started to rub that sensitive bud in slow circular moves. "Cum for me, персик. I want to feel you soaking my cock with your sweet peach juices" he leaned down on you and kissed you sloppily, using his tongue and teeth while trying to catch his breath.

Everything he did and everything you feel is just so hot and too much for you to hold your orgasm any longer. Your orgasm bursted from you like a waterfall, you were crying out loud, back arching, legs shaking, eyes shut closed, nails scratching his back. He didn't stop his movements, fucking you through your intense orgasm while his hands kept rubbing your clit slowly, you were so sensitive, and unconsciously you kept trying to move away and back away from him and his deadly touches. "Come here, милая девушка. where are you going?" he groaned and held your hips so tight and pinning you underneath him on the bed, never stopping his deep overstimulating thrusts.

"T-Too much. Ahh B-Bucky, b-baby too much" You were so far gone to focus on your words, you were just babbling now and words are getting out of your mouth without thinking. He groaned loudly at your words and his cock twitched hard. He kept holding your hips down and his grip tightened.

With one last deep thrust, he came inside you with loud groans. He threw his head back as his hips kept grinding slowly against yours, unable to control his movements anymore, while his cock kept spilling all of his cum inside you, filling you up to the max. And with that feeling alone, him spilling his load in you, his tip rubbing your soft spot, his cum shooting straight and hitting your cervix, your second orgasm hit you like lightning and you couldn't help but scream as you came all over his cock again.

He collapsed on top of you and slowly moved his torso away to not crush you underneath him and give you space to breathe. you both panted loudly, trying to catch your breath after that very intense sex. You blinked slowly, thinking that this is absolutely the best sex you ever had in your life. After you calmed down a bit, you looked at him and found him already staring at you with a smile on his face. You smiled in return and kept locking eyes with him, the words "I love you" are literally on the tip of your tongue, fighting so hard to be let out.

"Come here" he wrapped his arms around your body and sat on his knees, moving you both up until he rested you and your head on the fluffy white pillows. All of that, while his cock is still inside you. Though, you felt very sensitive and overstimulated and each move he made, made you whimper slowly but you didn't mind it. Actually, you loved feeling him inside you, filling you like this. Feeling so connected to him and so close to him than ever. You loved this feeling so much, hoping in the future, he'd let you cockwarm him more.

"You're so beautiful, Мой король" you said while hugging him tightly. You couldn't see it but he blushed and his smile widened. He really is in love with you, he said to himself. The connection you felt with him, he felt it too, he cherished it and wanted to keep it forever. Keep you forever. He just can't ask something like this from you, can't ask you to give up everything and your life to be with him, as if you haven't already done that. His life is dangerous. He is dangerous, he thought. And he would literally kill himself if anything bad happened to you, but not before burning the whole world to the ground, literally.

He moved his head and kissed you passionately, you felt like he was starved for this kiss from how deep and passionate it is as this was his sweet response to you calling him 'beautiful' and 'my king'. You kissed him back, hungrily and needy. You want to live in this moment forever, like this, with him, surrounded by him, on his bed, and him between your arms. But life is just so unfair.

He moved slowly, pulling himself out of you and being careful not to hurt you as you felt so sensitive. When he got out, he threw himself on the bed next to you but not before taking you into his arms and cuddling silently with you. Your head was on his chest while his arms were wrapped around you, hugging you tightly. You both stayed like this for a while. Him taking in your sweet scent and burying his face in your hair, and you were hugging him while running your finger on his arms and chest and making invisible circles on his chest.

"Can I ask you a question?" you broke the silence with a soft question that's almost a whisper, while still running your fingers on his chest.

"Hmmm?" He hummed in your hair and now he's running his right hand on your arm and rubbing it softly.

"Am I the only one?" you sounded sad, which made him furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he lifted his head up and stopped rubbing your arm.

You lifted your head and looked at him too. He could see that upset look on your face. Not knowing what he did wrong. "Am I the only girl you sleep with? The only one you treat like this? Or there are other girls, you treat the same and make them stay in fancy condos and call them whenever you want to fuck your stress away like you do with me?" Your tone was harsh at these last words, you didn't intend to but you just can't help the anger and the sadness you feel, thinking you are not the only one.

"Do you think I just "fuck my stress away" when I am with you?" his face and expression turned serious, he felt heartbroken you'd actually think that.

"I mean... that's what it feels like every time you call out for me. I'm just wondering if you do this with other girls." you looked away, hoping he wouldn't see the tears gathering up in your eyes and you were trying your hardest not to let them fall down.

"What would that matter to you if I do this with other girls or not?" he said harshly, moving his hands away from your body. "If you think that I just "fuck my stress away" with you and use you like a fucking stress ball then I believe it shouldn't matter to you if there are any other girls or not." your heart broke at his words and you feel your tears falling down slowly. You hate how you fucked up this beautiful moment with him. You just had to run your mouth like a loser, you said to yourself.

"B-Buc-"

"I told you don't call me that" his voice got louder a bit and you felt scared at his tone. You were so upset as more tears started to stream down your face.

"I-I'm sorry. I mean James." you sat up on the bed, going for the silk white covers to cover your body, you felt so ashamed and broken by his words and just wanted to leave him now. You pulled the covers over your body, covering yourself, then you faced him again. He's still staring at you with his arms crossed on his chest. You hate how good he looks right now.

"You know, doll, they say curiosity killed the cat." he looked very deep into your eyes, studying your facial expressions and body language. He knows you are longing for him and understands that what you said is out of jealousy. After figuring this out and connecting the dots, he felt absolutely ashamed of his reaction and regretted raising his voice to you like this. You don't deserve that. After that very beautiful moment you both shared, you deserve all happiness and all your concerns to be pushed away. He hated himself at this current moment. Seeing you, looking at him with sad eyes like he just betrayed you, and he felt like he did. He almost showed you the actual monster inside of him. He hated himself.

He sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude or harsh on you like that. I just couldn't understand why would you say such an awful thing like that about yourself." he exclaimed, you breathed a little, and moved closer to him. "come here, please. Can I touch you?" his hands twitched as he moved this closer to you, you nodded while sniffing. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you on his lap, hugged you tightly, and kissed your forehead. You couldn't help but cry more. "Shhh, It's okay. I'm so sorry, принцесса. I didn't mean to upset you like that. I'm really sorry." he rubbed your arms and back softly while pulling his right hand up to wipe your tears. "Please, please, stop crying, baby. Fine, you can call me Bucky. You can call me whatever you like but please don't cry." he kept wiping the tears that keeps falling from your eyes and kissing your cheeks and lips.

"Really? Can I?" you sniffed and smiled shyly. He mirrored your smile immediately.

"Yes, you crybaby, you can." he kissed your lips and you kissed back while smiling. This was enough for you to know he shares the same feelings as you.

"And to answer your question, yes. You are the only one, принцесса. It was always you and will always be you. Only you." He pecked your lips softly, and you held his face in your hands and deepened the kiss. This is everything you need now as he just proved to you, you're the only one for him as he's the only one for you too.

You've always felt bad for him, as he didn't have any friend or anyone to make him happy or enjoy the good things in life and you've always promised yourself, if he just opened that door for you, you'll compensate him for all the sadness and darkness that took over his life. If he just gave you the green light, you'll speed into his life and bring him nothing but love and joy. You do love him that much and want him to always be happy.

"I love you" you murmured as soon as you broke the kiss, you pushed away all of your doubts and concerns and said to yourself that even if he didn't say it back or feel it back, that's okay. You just want him to hear it from you and to feel it. You just want him to see he's loved.

"You d-do?" his voice shaky and he looked at you with slightly wide eyes as he stopped rubbing your back. He stopped breathing for a moment as you said these magical three words that made him feel shocked and confused. How could someone actually love him? He was a cold-blooded monster, he thought.

"Yes, Bucky, I do. I love you so much," you said softly, you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly while kissing his neck, you don't care that his body is stiffened now and his breath is shaky, you are trying to comfort him as you're sure he hadn't heard these 3 words in a very very long time. He needed to hear them. "I love your lips, your arms, your hair, your neck, your eyes, your beautiful beautiful smile," you pulled your head back up and looked at him as your gaze softened at the way he was looking at you with those puppy cute eyes. "I love you, Bucky." you whispered against his lips as you kissed him deeply. You panicked slightly as he didn't kiss back but as you were considering pulling away, his grip tightened around you and he kissed you back harshly and so passionately, you are almost running out of breath.

It took him another moment to pull away and you both panted from how deep the kiss was. "God, Y/N. I love you. I love you so much. I'd literally die for you, моя любовь. I love love love love you." he sounded out of breath as his eyes drifted from your eyes to your lips in a very passionate way. you chuckled sweetly at his words and kept kissing him again. At this moment, all of your concerns and doubts from earlier have been buried deep into the ground and he finally gave you everything you've been wishing and hoping for. You felt like you were in heaven, you swore, you'd never been happier in your life.

For the rest of the night, you both did nothing but make love and sleep in each other's arms. The next morning, you had your best ever morning sex, with him buried deep inside of you and dragging his cock in and out of you like you were just a part of him. You felt so close to him than ever. He canceled all his plans and meetings for the next two days and kept ordering his men to bring you food and anything you want to the bedroom. He also ordered his men to bring you some of your clothes from your apartment in Brooklyn and promised to take you shopping for new clothes and lingerie sets since you're going to stay with him in his mansion. He gave you extra keys to every single house, apartment, and mansion he had that are scattered all over the world and told you they're now your houses too.

He showed you the world and made you his queen. Of course, he still wanted to keep you hidden and your relationship a secret as he explained to you how people could use you or hurt you to get to him and he'd literally murder every single living person if anything bad happened to you. You understood and respected that decision and didn't mind keeping your relationship a secret, actually, that turned you on more, to say the least.

You both, in front of his super soldiers' army and his Hydra superiors and affiliates, were the King and Queen of Hydra. He gave you the power and that title too, even though what you just wanted was him. Only him. You didn't mind nor care about his work or whatever he did, as long as he comes back to you in one piece and sleeps in your arms every night, then the hell with the world. He's your whole world now.

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