#even 11 year old me would’ve loved 11 year old debbie | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

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That would be enough; Old!Roger Taylor x reader

*Author’s note*

Alright in honor of yet another Queen member’s bday this month one week after his friend and brother Brian, HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY ROGER MEDDOWS TAYLOR!! From all of us to you we hope you have a great birthday and always keep rocking and being your awesome self. Now this is my first time ever writing a current Roger Taylor fanfic so I hope I get it right and I hope you all enjoy this. So not really any warnings except swearing and a tad bit of angst but it’s all FLUFFY FEELS in the end. Enjoy my lovelies :)

Queen Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@waddles03

@coolcxt

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It all began in the winter 2016 when we were asked to perform live at the Grammy’s. By we; I mean Adam Lambert, myself and Brian. We were on the stage to wait the arrival of another artist we would be performing along with for the award show. Apparently she’s a big name in America specifically on the Broadway spectrum. I would know because my daughters can’t stop listening to her recent musical she was in, “Hamilton.”

“Brian, Roger, Adam.” The producer called out to us. There walking beside him was a beautiful young woman around her early 30’s with (h/l) (h/c). But what struck out to me was her eyes, she had the same blue eyes as I did, in fact she almost resembled me to a degree. Hell looking back on all the times I dressed in drag, it was like looking at an exact copy. “I’d like the three of you to meet the performer you’ll be singing (y/n) (l/n).”

“Hello, I know you lot get told this a lot but—you guys were such an inspiration to me growing up. And Adam, you’ve got a range that I’ve never heard on any performer.”

“And what of you? Mrs. Eliza?” Adam vocalized which made her giggle.

“Hamilton fan I assume?”

“Girl are you kidding me? The second I heard about the album from a friend of mine I couldn’t stop listening to it. Your tickets are nearly impossible to get now.”

“I know. I never expected it to boom as it did. But as soon as Lin called me about the script and wanted me to be a part of it, I knew I had to get involved. It’s unlike any musical I’ve been in before.”

“I’ll admit my youngest daughter loves the show and couldn’t stop talking about it when we were in New York.” Brian spoke up.

“Oh wow I’m honored Mr. May.”

“Oh love, Mr. May was my father, please call me Brian.” The two shook hands with each other and she then turned to me. God she looked so familiar not just with my looks but she also had the looks of someone I once knew a long time ago.

“And the famous Roger Taylor. I must say it’s because of you I sought out the drums in my middle and high school band.” I snapped out of my daze and we shook hands with each other and said.

“I bet you were probably the best drummer there ever was.”

“Indeed, got my band to win Districts every year.” She said. “Would’ve gotten state champion my junior year of high school but unfortunately a few of the kids in the strings had to screw up the notes.”

“Been there before, mostly with this guy’s strings breaking.” I gestured toward Brian.

“Oh well forgive me but at least I wasn’t the one who forgot the lyrics to my own song.”

“I thought I told you to never mention that again!” I hissed leaving Adam and (y/n) to laugh.

“So shall we run some sound checks for a bit? I was told we’ll be performing after Pink.” (y/n) stated and we were all in agreement.

Throughout the day I couldn’t stop thinking about (y/n). Just the way she presented herself on stage just reminded me of someone but I just couldn’t figure it out. After rehearsal one before the Grammys would begin in just 4 days, I sat in my dressing room when Brian came in and asked me.

“What is it mate? You’ve been out of sorts all day, what’s going on?”

“Brian, did…..did (y/n) look familiar to you?”

“You mean besides the fact she’s a Broadway star?”

“Brian I’m serious there was just something about her that just…..seemed familiar. Like I’ve seen her before.”

“You’re probably just overthinking this Rog, come and have a drink with Adam, (y/n) and I tonight. Adam’s buying this time after all.” I nodded and followed Brian to meet (y/n) and Adam outside.

We managed to find a nice restaurant pub nearby and as we ate a well earned late supper, Brian asked (y/n).

“So (y/n). How did you get involved with Broadway?”

“Well….it’s because of my mom. She was in Broadway, hell it’s been a tradition in my mom’s family. She was just a dancer but she was one of the best dancers according to critics.” At hearing that I choked on my water.

“Roger!” Adam exclaimed.

“Roger you okay?” asked (y/n).

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine just….went down the wrong pipe. Excuse me for a minute.” I raced out of the pub and into the fresh air as suddenly it occurred to me.

“Roger, what’s going on with you?” I heard Brian say.

“It all makes sense now. I should’ve remembered the last name, how could I be such an idiot?” I muttered to myself.

“Roger what are you talking about?”

“Do you remember when we did our last American tour at the start of the 80’s. And we performed at Madison Square Garden.”

“Yeah, where are you going with this?”

“Do you remember that Broadway show we saw? Umm West Side story I think it was? And I actually managed to hook up with one of the dancers.”

“Yeah (m/n). I remember you were crazy about her before you met Dominque.”

“I—I think the reason why she broke up with me was—because she was pregnant.”

“Hold on Rog. This is a serious allegation. You don’t think that (y/n) is…..”

“At first I didn’t get it but the more I look at her the more I see it. Brian she has my eyes, she’s almost like a reflection of me but with her mum’s hair. Brian I—I really think she’s my daughter.”

“So what are you going to do? You know you can’t just spring this up on (y/n) like this so suddenly.”

“I know, I know. I’ll….I’ll try to get alone with her and somehow slowly ease her into a conversation about her mum. Maybe I could even try to get reconnected with (m/n). To at least tell me why she never told me she was pregnant.”

“Now just be sure if you do get her contact information you don’t go off yelling at her. I’m sure she had her reasons…..”

“Reasons my arse Brian she kept my daughter away from me! I never even knew my first child would be a girl and I’ve missed so much….”

“Umm guys?” We turned to see (y/n) standing there. “Is everything okay?”

“No, I mean yes. Everything is fine love.” I assured her. Her eyes gave off that same look her mum always made when she was concerned for my wellbeing. God she really was my daughter.

“Okay, it’s just that you both were gone for a while and I got a little worried.”

“Don’t worry love, we’ll be just another minute.” She nodded before heading back inside.

“Just think about it carefully Rog. She seems to not know herself, so just proceed with caution.” Brian warned me one last time.

A couple days went by and it was just one more day till the Grammys. I was now standing before (y/n)’s dressing room finally seeing a chance to talk to her in private. I slowly reached my hand for the door and softly knocked on it and her voice rang out.

‘If it’s Debbie from the article fuck off I’m not giving you any dirt on Lin!’ God she really is my daughter.

“No love it’s Roger.” The door opened and she peeked out and said.

“Oh god I am so sorry about that Rog. I didn’t mean to do that I—”

“I get it, if you thought the press were bad today you should’ve seen them back in my day. God they literally camped outside your houses at the time.”

“Jesus, oh where are my manners please come in.” she said as she fully opened the door and allowed me inside. I walked in and she closed her door and she said. “Can I get you anything? I’ve got water, champagne, some wine, beer.”

“I wouldn’t mind a beer.�� I answered.

“Coming right up.” She went over to the minifridge and pulled out two bottles of beer and handed one over to me. “So did you need anything?”

“Oh I just—see I feel like we haven’t really gotten the chance to really connect like you and Adam have, hell you even managed to spend some time with Brian and not get bored with him.” We both chuckled and I continued, “Only if you wish to. I don’t want to make you comfortable.”

“No, no it’s fine. I mean truthfully the reason why I never got to talk with you much is because…..well I’ve always been starstruck with you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah I know. All my friends had told me that out of every Queen member they’d be starstruck to meet it’d be Freddie. God rest his soul. I really am sorry about his death. I was just 11 years old when I heard the news. God I was depressed for weeks on end, couldn’t even listen to his voice without crying.”

“Yeah it—it was hard on all of us. I was actually on my way to see him. And I was just 300 yards away when I got the call….” I stopped as I felt tears fill my eyes. Jesus retelling that day always makes me emotional.

“But he’d be proud of what you guys have done for the band. As well as everything else you all have accomplished. Even Deacy.” She said as she reached out and took my hand. I smiled and placed my hand on top of hers. It was then a picture caught my eye that stood on her makeup stand.

She turned around and smiled softly and said.

“That’s a picture of my mom and I at my first Broadway leading role. It was in Les Misérables when I got Fantine.” She reached over and grabbed it and handed it to me. I took the picture in my hand and everything I had thought was officially confirmed.

There standing next to (y/n) was indeed (m/n) (l/n), the Broadway dancer I once fell in love with during our tour of America. She looked older than I last saw her, her hair was now a pixie cut short but she was still as beautiful as I remembered her being.

“Do you—still see her? I know life of a performer is tough and time constricting.” I asked her.

“I—visit her whenever I can. Bring her, her favorite flowers.”

“White lilies with baby’s breath.” We both said at the same time. Oh bugger. “How did you know that?” she asked.

“She—she uhh….” C’mon Roger say something clever you old bastard! “She just looks like the type of woman who would love those flowers.” Oh please buy it please buy it please buy it.

“Okay.” She said a bit wearily. “Well anyways I try to see her whenever I can. But it just gets harder and harder to visit her each time.” Huh? What did she mean by that? Is she sick? Was she abusive to her? Oh please tell me it wasn’t the latter.

“Whys that? If you don’t mind me asking?” I asked her. She took back the picture from me and said.

“Well I’d like to clarify where she’s staying isn’t exactly a sunshiny place. It’s always hard to visit a cemetery.” What? Oh no.

“I’m so sorry dear. You don’t have to tell me the reason why…”

“No I feel like I should. After all you’re taking the time to getting to know me, might as well learn the whole package. Well this past year hasn’t been easy on me and my family. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. We—thought we’d have more time, but just as I was about to tell her that I got the leading lady role in Hamilton…..” she trailed off and clasped her hand over her mouth.

I did the only thing that I could think of. I wrapped my arms around her and lay her head on my shoulder.

“Tell me…..how do you make the pain go away?” she whimpered out. I squeezed her shoulder and rested my head on top of hers and answered her as honestly as I could.

“It’s hard, and it may never go away. But something that helps me cope with Freddie’s death is that I try to think of all the great times I had with him. I’ve been around the old bastard so much I know exactly what he would say to me if I allowed my grief to overcome me. He’d tell me; ‘oh stiff up a lip blondie! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you tried your best and I know what you did. Now stop your whimpering you big softie’.” I soon heard a small laugh coming from her.

It was small but I at least got a smile from her, her mother’s smile just as I remembered it.

“Your mum knew you’d get the part, I’ll bet she had no doubt that you would. So I have a feeling she’d tell you to keep performing and don’t let her death stop you from your dreams.” I rubbed her arm comfortingly and kept her in my arms for a little bit longer until she finally calmed down. She separated herself from me and said.

“God I probably look like a mess right now.”

“Not at all.” I replied as I wiped a few tears stains from her face.

“Thank you Roger, I—haven’t been able to cry like that since the funeral.”

“I’m always here whenever you need to vent your grief. It’s not healthy to keep it inside, especially for a long period of time.” I said as I rubbed her back. She nodded and that’s when a knock was heard.

“Ms. (L/n), it’s time for final curtain rehearsal and discuss when you and Queen and Adam are going to perform.” One of the volunteers spoke out from the other side.

“Be right out just give me a few minutes.” She called back. “Well I better clean myself up.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.” I stood up and prepared to leave her dressing room when I was suddenly hugged from behind.

“Thank you again Roger, really. You don’t know how much it meant to me.” I heard her voice say into my shoulder. I smiled both with happiness but also grief as I turned and hugged her back.

“Anytime darling. Whenever you need to talk, I’ll be there.” She nodded then headed back over to her makeup chair and began cleaning herself up. I stood there and watched her for a few minutes, just seeing her mother in her and remembering all the times I spent backstage on her shows seeing her get ready.

Soon the big day arrived, the Grammy awards 2016. Brian, Adam and I were in our car being driven to the award show where we would walk the carpet and do a couple of interviews. Once we arrived, the crowd was already huge.

Hundreds of people screaming and cheering, hundreds of performers and nominees were strutting around getting their pictures taken. God what Fred would do if he were here right now, probably photobomb a few singers just to be cheeky. After getting a few pictures in, we were stopped for an interview.

Much of it I barely paid attention to, that was until a question regarding to (y/n) came up.

“So singing along with famed Broadway singer of the American musical Hamilton, what was that like for you? Is working with a Broadway star different than other singers?”

“Oh (y/n) was a huge joy to work with. She and I are practically best friends right now and promised me tickets to the next show.” Adam laughed. “No, no she’s an amazing performer and it’s no different than working with any other singer. Less drama of course but no she was wonderful to rehearse with and I can’t wait to perform live with her.”

“And Brian, Roger? Did you guys feel out of sorts working with her? Like did she feel lower to you cause she’s just a Broadway performer?” What kind of question is that?

“No, not at all. As Adam said she was wonderful to get to know. She’s definitely got some surprises in store for us tonight as she sings with us.” Brian answered.

“Yeah Broadway performers are no different than any other singer. It’s all about just mixing in the differences each performer’s got and she was a wonderful mix into this performance.” I replied without wanting to ring the interviewers neck speaking so lowly about Broadway performers.

After the interview I then saw (y/n) talking with a female interviewer. Wow and did she look beautiful. She wore a spaghetti strapped royal blue backless dress which had a small train at the bottom of it. Thinking it wouldn’t hurt to just go up and say a quick hello (after all I’ve seen actors and singers interrupt artists for a quick hello or greeting all the time).

“So yeah at first I was really nervous but then—Oh my god! Hey Rog!” She hugged me and I hugged her back saying.

“Hello love.”

“Also joining us is Queen’s drummer Roger Taylor, Roger how are you feeling?” the interviewer asked.

“Tired.” I answered which made us all laugh. “But also honored to be here, this is our first Grammy performance in like 20-30 years so it’ll be interesting to see how much has changed.”

“Don’t worry not a lot. I was just asking (y/n) how she felt singing with Queen and Adam.”

“Well I can tell you it’s been an honor to perform alongside a talented young woman like (y/n). She’s been an absolute pleasure to sing with and I can see why so many people love her in Hamilton.”

“Oh Rog stop you’re making me blush.” (y/n) groaned out as she tried to hide her face.

“Well I won’t keep you guys any longer. Good luck tonight and we’ll all be cheering for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you so much.”

“No thank you. Cheers you two.”

“Bye.” We both walked away and as the press continued to holler and command more photos I said to (y/n).

“You look beautiful love.”

“Thanks, and you pretty handsome yourself.”

“Once a long time ago.” I stated.

“Hey now don’t say that.” She said as she playfully shoved me.

“Well then, shall I have the honor of escorting you inside milady?”

“Why of course you may.” She said in probably the most exaggerated British accent I had ever heard but I let it slide. I hooked my arm out and she wrapped her arm around mine and the two of us walked inside.

“Well I’ll see you soon up on stage. My assigned seating is with my cast members since Hamilton is up for best musical album.” She said.

“Will do love, and good luck. I have a feeling you guys will win so many awards.” I told her. She kissed my cheek and then headed out to meet with some of her cast members who were already there. Seeing her with all her friends made me feel warm hearted.

“So you still gonna tell her after the show?” I heard Brian’s voice say.

“If I don’t I may never get a second chance. But there’s also something in me to not tell her. I mean what will she think of me when I do tell her?”

“I wish I could tell you what to do Rog, but only you can make that call. But whatever you choose, just make sure you don’t regret it.” It was decided.

As the show went on, (y/n)’s first performance would be with her cast members singing the opening number of Hamilton. And hearing the song with my own ears, I was mesmerized, especially when she got to stand center stage singing the story of Alexander and his mother’s life after the father split.

Much like Queen, every voice blended so well together. Even though there were so many of them, I could easily pick out each voice individually and hear it and their harmonizing just sent shivers up my spine. By the end of the song, the audience roared in applause that I only heard in our concerts, but of course I was probably the loudest cheering for my girl.

As the show continued, we were now preparing to do our number. I saw (y/n) take her spot by the piano and I walked up to her and said.

“You’re gonna do great love.”

“I know, I’m just nervous that I’ll mess up a key or note and end up messing you all up.”

“Don’t worry love, you’ll do great. I have faith in you.” I assured her as I placed my hand on her shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze.

“How do you always know what to say Roger Taylor?” she asked as he placed her hand on top of mine.

“It comes with being old.” I teased which made us laugh.

“Okay boys, Miss, we’ll be live in 2 minutes.” Said one of the producers.

“Well better get back up there.” I gestured towards my drum set. She nodded and I walked away from the piano and sat down at my drum set twirling my drumstick in hand getting my head in the game.

“Welcome back to the 58th Grammy awards. And now for the long awaited performance of a lifetime. These guys have been kick butt in the music industry for years selling off millions of records since the 1970’s and joining them the runner up of American Idol as well as the leading lady of Hamilton. Here is (Y/n) (l/n), Queen and Adam Lambert.” The audience cheered and soon (y/n) began playing the piano as Adam began to sing “Don’t stop me now”.

Adam took the first verse of the song and as the song picked up Brian and I joined in with (y/n)’s piano playing as well as the bass player who was up on stage with us. Lights flashing and Adam’s vice echoing through the speakers as he led the crowd in his own fashion.

By the second verse, the spotlight came onto (y/n) who kept playing the piano and I could hear the cast of Hamilton cheering for her. Along with that soft soprano voice she used for her role as Eliza, for this song she unleashed such a raw, rock and roll alto range. It was almost like if you could convert my rang into a woman’s voice, that’s (y/n).

Also people suspect that most Broadway stars just sing and dance, well not this girl. She’s told us that her mum taught her how to do the piano and guitar so she truly is a triple threat.

Along with playing and singing backup vocals on my cue, I couldn’t help but watch my daughter perform as at the instrumental break, her and Adam now stood side by side together and side stepped with each other like they practiced during rehearsal, she was a born performer. Whether Broadway or Rockstar, she was mine and her mother mixed together.

And that was enough for me to love her even more.

By the end of our piece, the audience was in a stadium sized cheer as we all came together at center stage, (y/n) standing between Adam and I as we waved of saluted to the audience in thanks.

More awards were given and soon it came time for award for ‘Best Musical theater album.’ An announcer read up all the musicals up for the award; Hamilton, An American in Paris, Fun Home, The King and I, and Something Rotten!

“And the winner of the best musical album goes to…..” all was silent and even I was tensed up with anxiety as I just wanted to race up there and rip the envelope myself. I could do it much faster than this guy. Finally it was open and he smiled and exclaimed into the microphone, “HAMILTON!!” I cheered out as loud as I could and whistled just as loud.

I could see (y/n) hugging her cast mates and everyone involved with the musical raced down the runway and up the stage as the audience roared with applause as the score of the opening number was playing and on the screen showed some shots of some of the actors in costume, including (y/n).

I wiped away the tears in my eyes as I kept cheering for (y/n). She may think that no parent was there to see her get this award, but in truth she did have a father who was so proud of her and I just know (m/n) is cheering and crying in heaven.

Once the award show was finally over, I could see the entire cast of Hamilton all outside in a group huddle cheering and crying out as some of them including my girl holding a Grammy trophy. Everyone was talking over each other in pure excitement that was until Lin’s proclaimed.

“Okay Hamilton cast, first round of drinks are on me tonight!” Everyone cheered and they all walked on ahead, that was until (y/n) spotted me. She smiled and ran towards me and tackled me in a hug.

“Ohh I’m so happy you got to see it happen!” she exclaimed.

“Congratulations love. You and your castmates deserved to win.”

“Why don’t you come celebrate with us?” she offered.

“Oh no, no. You wouldn’t want an old grizzly man to cramp your style dear.”

“Hey what did I just tell you earlier?” she mocked.

“Besides; Brian, Adam and I need to be on the next flight out of here back to London to start planning our European tour.”

“So—this is it?” she asked sadly. “Wow it…..it feels like this has all ended too fast.”

“I know what you mean. But you still got so many more awards to win love, you should be focused and celebrating every chance you get. Especially since rumor has it you’re up for a Tony award.”

“Yeah, never did I think I would ever get nominated for one. It’ll be my first nomination.”

“And I pray that they’ll call you Tony Award winner (y/n) (l/n) after you win it.” I said as I cupped her face and stroked her cheek.

“Thank you for everything Roger. And it was an honor to play alongside you. Give my love to Brian and Adam for me will you?”

“Of course.” We both kissed each other’s cheek and she went on ahead.

“Oh hey, next time you three are in New York, come see us. I can have security let you in backstage before and after the show!”

“We’ll take you up on that offer.” C’mon you old fool she’s walking away. You’ve got to tell her now. Do it! Do it! “(Y/n) wait!” she stopped and turned back around.

“Yeah Rog?” I walked up towards her and nervously stammered out.

“I—I uhh….Can we…..can we talk for a minute before you go? Privately.”

“Sure Rog, let me just text Leslie since he’s my ride to the bar.” She quickly sent a text to Leslie and once she saw the reply she said, “Okay he’s gonna wait for me in the parking garage and let the others know to wait for us. Where do you want to talk?”

“Mind if we go to my dressing room?” she shook her head and we both walked along to where Brian and I shared a dressing room before the performance. Once we got in she immediately set herself down on the couch and took off her heels.

“God even though I wear heels every night on stage, I still don’t get used to stilettos. Whoever invented those heel brands must’ve had no skin whatsoever.”

“Yeah, they are a real pain in the arse.” I told her.

“So what do you want to talk about Roger?” she asked.

Here it was, the moment of truth. It was either say it now or let it blow up in your face.

“You—you remember how I knew your mother’s favorite flowers?”

“Yeah.” She said wearily.

“Well, I was completely honest with you (y/n).”

“What are you talking about?”

“I—I knew your mother.” I saw her eyes slowly widen as she just stared at me.

“You knew my mother?”

“Yes. I first met her back in 1980. It was after a Madison Square Garden show, Freddie, John and I went to go see West Side Story at the time, and when I saw your mother on stage…..it was like I was looking at a true dancer on the stage. She outshined everyone.”

“Yeah she was known for that.” (y/n) reminisced.

“After the show I went up and talked to her. Of course she was feisty but I couldn’t help myself. I was drawn to her, and soon we eventually became friends. Very good friends.”

“But…..if you guys were so close, how come she never spoke to me about you?” I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled and I said.

“I’m sorry I have to tell you this, and you may hate me after I tell you. Maybe even think I’m a horrible person but I swear I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what? Roger please you’re scaring me. Just tell me what this is all about?” I looked down at my feet for god knows how long before I finally looked up at her and told her straight up.

“I’m your father.”

All was silent as her face slowly turned from shock to absolute horror.

“At first I didn’t know when we first met. But there was something about you that just seemed familiar. Then the dinner when you said your mum was a Broadway dancer it got me freaked out thinking that it wasn’t possible, but then seeing a picture of your mum it only confirmed everything. I didn’t know she was pregnant I woke up one morning and she was just gone leaving a note telling me she was sorry. I don’t mean to spring this on you at once but I—”

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.” She muttered in haste as she held out her hand.

“(Y/n) I’m sorry I just……”

“Stay away from me.” She sneered.

“(Y/n) please I swear I…..” but she kept interrupting me as I kept trying to explain myself as gently as I could. She kept muttering to herself till suddenly I felt this sharp pain across my face and I found myself down on the ground.

“Just stay away from me! You’re a crazy, senile old man. Just stay away from me or I’ll call the police!” she then raced out of the dressing room, but I could hear the sounds of her crying echoing through the hallway as she ran.

I blew it. Now that all was said and done, I blew it. She knew the truth and seeing her so upset just broke my heart. I didn’t mean to confuse her or make her mad I just—maybe I was being selfish.

It had been about four months since the Grammy’s and ever since I told (y/n) the truth, I just couldn’t think right. Even during rehearsals with Brian and Adam my head just wasn’t in the game as it usually was and they could tell but they didn’t push. Can’t say the same for the managers as well as the touring manager since we needed to prepare for our next upcoming tour.

“Roger?” I heard my wife Sarina call out to me.

“Please love I….I need a moment to myself.”

“Rog, I think you should really come to the living room. Someone came all this way to see you, and it’d be rude to just toss her out into the London streets.” I looked up at her and asked.

“Who is it?” she gestured with her finger to follow her. We walked out of my basement studio and came to the living room to see Tiger Lilly, Rory, and Lola sitting with (y/n).

I couldn’t believe it, all my girls together and talking with each other.

“I—hope I’m not intruding or anything.” (y/n) answered nervously as she fiddled with her fingers.

“No not at all.” I replied.

“Girls why don’t we give them some privacy?” Sarina suggested and soon my three girls left us to chat.

“Didn’t feel the need to tell them quite yet.” She replied softly.

“Although I bet Tiger and Lola would flip knowing that Elizabeth Schuyler is their sister.” She softly smiled and then looked up at me.

“I—I made some calls to my uncle Bobby and aunt Jodie, my mom’s siblings and told them if they knew. And—turns out you weren’t some crazy old man. Apparently when my mom found out she was pregnant with me, she didn’t want to tell you. She claimed that Queen was finally getting the recognition that you guys deserved and she knew you weren’t the type to settle down. She thought you’d leave her or ask her to abort me. So she just decided to pack up her stuff and moved back to the states and never wanted to contact you again.”

“What?” I muttered in shock.

“That’s what my aunt and uncle said. And now that I think back, she always did step out of the room and never spoke when I would play a Queen record or when one of your songs came on the radio. She never said she hated you guys, just—couldn’t listen to your songs. And apparently she knew when it was a song written by you.” I smiled sadly and stated.

“(Y/n) I—I never wanted to confuse or hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“No you had every right to act the way you did. I know I would.” I said as I sat in front of her. Hesitantly I reached out and cupped her face in my hands and lifted her head up so that I could look into the blue eyes she inherited from me. “Listen (y/n); I have missed so much in your life. Your first steps, first word, the first show you got casted in, every important thing in your life. And I can understand if you don’t want me to be a part of it now. After all you’ve become successful on your own and have grown into such a beautiful young woman.”

“It was hard believe me.” She choked out.

“But you made it. Look at you now. And your mum would be so proud of you.” I saw tears drip down her face and she nodded.

“It’ll be hard, after all I never knew I had a dad. So I assumed it was just my mom and me, it’ll take some time to get used to having a dad but—will you be a part of my narrative?” I only smiled and quoted her character’s famed quote.

“That would be enough, love.” We immediately held each other. I felt her bury her face into chest and I buried my face into her hair inhaling her scent. I held her as tight as I could and couldn’t stop the tears falling down my face.

God I can’t believe this. I had another baby girl, and at last I finally got the chance to hold her in my arms. My eyes, attitude and looks along with her mother’s as well as her mother’s hair, we made a perfect Broadway angel.

About a week later it was the premiere of the London production of Hamilton. As a first success, the American cast came to kick off the show and then auditions would begin here in London. With the help of (y/n), she gave all of us tickets and the best seats for the show. Not just my family but Brian’s as well as Adam and his parents. And seeing my angel in her element on stage in full costume and makeup, she reminded me of her mother but also had the front lady essence that Fred once had.

But the number that got me the most was the number ‘That would be enough’ when Eliza confirmed to Hamilton of her pregnancy after he was forced to be sent home from the war. The lyrics hit me so hard and the chemistry between my daughter and Lin-Manuel Miranda made me think of me and (m/n).

I also saw how on certain parts of the lyrics especially towards the end of the song, I saw how she would look right at me. The way she evoked raw emotion and even allowed tears to fall down her face just shot some serious feels (at least I think that’s how Lola says people call it now) right in the heart.

I was proud of my Broadway baby, I’m glad that now we can be apart of each other’s lives now. And that was enough.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohemian rhapsody x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #old!roger taylor x reader #roger taylor fluff #current!roger taylor #queen #queen fandom #queen fanfiction #queen fanfic #old!roger taylor #brian may

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classicajays · 4 years

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Well, with SNL cancelling the next 3 episodes and shutting down production indefinitely, we have no idea if that’s the end of the 45th season. If it is, then NBC will have almost 5+ months of Saturday nights to fill content. I’ve been thinking about what I’d like to see them do. Honestly, what I’m sure they’ll do is just re-air the episodes from this season and then start re-airing episodes from last season. But if it were up to me, I’d do things differently. With most people social distancing (and you all should be doing this if possible), that will leave a ton of people at home, and SNL has a ton of content. Here are some suggestions:

Expand SNL Vintage. Don’t just focus only on 10 PM, but air the full 90 minutes episodes from years ago (70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s) at 11:30 PM. With so many people home, imagine them flipping the channel and seeing the 2006 Justin Timberlake episode airing again, or the 2004 Lindsay Lohan episode with the first Debbie Downer sketch. Re-airing old episodes from a year or so ago will only get you so far in the ratings as most people would’ve seen those shows many times already, so airing old classics again would make some fans, especially old timers, want to maybe check it out.

Create new “Best Of” specials. For example, focus it on people like Kristen Wiig or Bill Hader. You can even create some based on current cast favorites like Kate McKinnon and Kenan Thompson too. They could also re-air a lot of the old ones too.

Re-air SNL documentaries. These were pretty popular from what I remember, I know that a lot of people on here used to love it when VH1 would air the “SNL in the 2000s” documentary, why not re-air those specials? Not many people got the opportunity to watch that James Franco SNL documentary, put that on. Or if they can, air the Gilda Radner documentary, or even the one based on Chris Farley from a few years ago. Hell, even re-air the 40th anniversary show again.

Air the Youtube content. I dunno if you guys follow SNL on Youtube, but they post some really good, high quality content based around what goes on behind the scenes. It’s really informative and gives you a great look at how SNL is made each week. Not only that, but sometimes they post really good interviews and stuff too.

Honestly, I don’t expect NBC to do any of this and do what I said earlier which is that they’ll re-air this season a ton and then switch on over to last season. Nothing wrong with those but if NBC is forced to cancel the rest of the season, that would be a bad idea for the next 5 or so months, especially when you have a larger than usual audience that will be home. I do hope that they do at least some of what I mentioned.

#Saturday Night Live

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twodudesandamovie · 4 years

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Ocean’s 8

This month, Alex won the coin flip to decide the movie, it is Ocean's 8:

Alex: At 1am, Eric said to me that he wanted to watch the movie I chose, Ocean's 8. I vocally doubted his ability to stay awake, being as he was extremely intoxicated, but he insisted he would. At this point, I agreed to watch the movie with him, even saying I would Venmo him $50 if he stayed awake for 110 minutes. He did not, and this is my opinion of Ocean's 8. Immediately, we start with a nice homage to Ocean's 11, and I have a few questions: 1. Who is this girl? 2. Why is she in jail? 3. Apparently everybody else is dead? Besides that old Jewish dude. 4. Why didn't I watch Ocean's 13. Then I get to be confused as to whether Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett are gay. I think about this for probably 20 minutes as the film gives me exposition or whatever. I conclude they probably are just flirty. The movie then quickly introduces characters, and I feel a kinship with Helena Bonham Carter, both because she is having a panic attack while eating Nutella from a jar, and that shes secretly emo. Then, I'm stunned as I get to see Rihanna, Minday Khaling, and Awkwafina, three extremely talented women whom I do not deserve to look at. Sarah Paulson is also there, but I do not know her, like the guy that is also hot and Sandra Bullock threatens to shiv. Honestly, he should keep to probably playing soccer or stab him, in my opinion. Sandra Bullock then lays out the heist. The planning portion of the film seems to go rather quick, and I'm frequently surprised by plot points that just happen to work out. How does Sandra Bullock know so much about 3D printing. She was in jail for like 6~ years. 3D printing has grown so much in the past 6 years. It's mentioned in another scene that "Hims get arrested, Hers get ignored" which is a nice sexist way to explain why nobody calls out any of the women for being on the video tapes in the security footage (which we'll go into later). Additionally, Mindy Khaling sets up a jeweler apprasial shop in the baby changing station, which I really want to contest, but she could do it. The movie drones on for about an hour after that as I watch this elite cast of babes steal jewels, and also my heart. Anne Hathaway is there too, doing a superb job as acting as a famous person in the world where she is still a famous person who acts. I think later on she gets money, starts a studio or shoots a low budget movie, and directs herself. Thats a nice tribute to Ocean's 12 where Julia Roberts has to pretend to be Julia Roberts. In the end, this absolutely stunning cast of women manages to steal the thing they wanted to steal, with a lot more things they didn't EXPLAIN they were gonna steal, but you knew they were gonna steal. James Corden makes an enterance at a point, and I think he's just gonna be himself, but then he's an FBI agent who has a rather trivial part in the movie. The entire half hour you could cut honestly. Overall, I didn't think the movie was super good. Not even in a way where it has big plot holes or anything, which it kinda does but thats not important, its just not a good heist movie. I really wanted to get the thrill of the plot twist in Ocean's 11 again, and instead got a group of really talented babes stealing a thing and then giving me an expected plot twist at the end. Also, with so many characters, it's understandable that every character can't have a lengthy amount of screen time to like act and be a character, but if thats the case then why hire like absolutely the most stacked cast of actors, to have them only have a couple lines. I wanted more from all of the characters that were not Sandra Bullock or Cate Blanchett.

Rating: 5/10 and I'd still let every babe in this movie tell me I'm wrong because I love them all.

Eric: Ocean’s 8 attempts to continue the long strand of “Ocean’s” movies which have quite a simple formula: assemble an all-star cast, pull off a thrilling heist, spew out of a few witticisms here and there, be a pop culture staple, and voila you have a blockbuster movie. But Ocean’s 8 made the least money out of the four latest Ocean’s movies, and it would seem the formula is growing a bit tired.

It’s hard to go wrong with such a cast, the acting wasn’t lacking at any point besides Rihanna saying the bare minimum of lines to achieve her character’s goals. The humor wasn’t quite as fun as in the previous Ocean’s, and the quips often fell flat. Due to the unimaginative screenplay, there was no challenges for the actors. Sandra Bullock briefly being a German woman was the only example of these A-listers flexing their acting chops.

One of my biggest pet peeves in movies is eating and talking during a scene, and this screenplay does that in spades. It’s sort of a boring way to have the actors occupied while going through the motions of setting up the plot, and it isn’t necessary. It’s another brutal flaw of Ocean’s 8: when you have the actors, use them. For a cast with such potential, why resort to such cliches?

It also suffers a deadly plot hole: why doesn’t Debbie Ocean have a parole officer? Someone who just got out of jail spending time with other questionable characters isn’t realistic, but of course, it’s a movie. The heist itself made up for a lot of the movie’s shortcomings, but even the heist seemed to lack imagination for the lofty bar Ocean’s 11-13 set. It didn’t seem like anything new: have people hiding in plain site, replace the stolen item with a replica, find a way to sell it, haven’t we seen this all before?

Hollywood seems to be obsessing over taking classic movies and flipping the gender roles lately (see Ghostbusters), which isn’t a bad idea in itself, but if you’re going to do that then you need to have something new to say. What is the point of making this sequel? It’s a question that this installment doesn’t really answer. Of course most sequels are often worse than their originals and fail to answer the reasoning behind making them.

I was mildly entertained but I would’ve liked to see much more from it. It was a movie that fell far short of its potential and I think it finally put the dagger in the Ocean’s series, or at least I hope it did.

Rating: 5.5/10.

#ocean's 8 #sandra bullock #cate blanchett #anne hathaway #rihanna #sarah paulson #mindy kaling #helena bonham carter #awkwafina

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shittyfandomimagines · 5 years

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Anxiety

Sad but fluff

Word count: 2,079

Shawn just seems like some bf material.

GIF creds to owner

You should be a better person, it wouldn’t kill you to be nicer. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that it probably made you sound stupid. You need to venture out some more and go out with friends more, it’s weird that you’re okay with staying home all the time.

Well, you’re not obligated to go out all the time. No one is going to remember what you said, it’s not that bad. You’ve got the biggest heart.

I have learned from years of therapy that I just needed to challenge my thoughts, I was letting my anxiety and irrational thoughts begin to interfere with my life again. I had a few years of easiness, I learned to push through it. Now, I’m just spiraling back into my old ways.

I spent a while in a day program that was like a mental hospital, it helped with the end of my teenage years, but apparently, I’m still the same fucking mess from 5 years ago. I was constantly looked down upon for my constant anxiety, it pulled me out of school for a while. My family didn’t believe in mental health issues, my friends made me feel like I disappeared just because I couldn’t hang out. You never realize who is truly there for you until you can’t mentally or physically be the person they wanted to be.

I met Shawn and it was easier to be with him. I don’t think I ever explained that I had anxiety but maybe I was just someone who liked to stay in. Which, in hindsight was good for him because of the press. I didn’t have to change myself for him and the more I stayed with him, the more I was able to open up and go back into the world.

“Babe, please come with me to the supper tonight.” He pleaded earlier today. I could tell that he was defeated or disappointed when I said no. I knew he wanted me there and I’d love the time we would spend together. It’s just my irrational side of me just knew I’d make a fool of myself and wish I was back at our home.

I’ve thought about how upset he had been all afternoon and here it is at 7:30, I’m still a worrying piece of shit. “One last call, are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” He asks as he walks back into the room as he exited the bathroom. He did look really fucking good in his Armani suit, I wanted to go just to stare at him.

“Sorry babe, no.” I wanted so bad to just get up and be in the present with him, I’m just not that person right now. He just sighed defeatedly and then stood in front of the mirror, he was trying to fix his tie.

I get up to stand behind him, I was staring at his reflection in the mirror, I just wish I was the right fit for this lifestyle. “You look great Shawn.” I smile from behind him and he turns around to face me. “Well, you could look even more amazing if you came with me.” He pouts and I get on my tippy toes, I kiss his lips gently.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like it,” I say as I get back to my regular height. “You never want to go out with me anymore.” He puffs out air and I could tell he was upset, I didn’t know how to respond. I did feel like there was a blow to my chest because he never once was angry at me because I was a homebody.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want to socialize tonight,” I admit and take a small step back, I shouldn’t even have to apologize for my own valid feelings. “Well, then when will you ever? You haven’t really wanted to anything for like 2 months now! When will it change?” His tone started to change, I wanted to cry so bad.

“You’re going to be late.” I clear my throat and I took a bigger step back, I just needed him to leave so I could cry it out. “Whatever.” He rolls his eyes and I wait for him to walk out of the room before letting the tears start to fall.

I heard the front door close loudly, I flung myself on the bed. If the roles were reversed and it was his mental health on the line, I would’ve never made him feel like shit for not wanting to go out. Then again, I never was open about what was ‘wrong’ with me.

I have felt this torment for a long time from friends and family when I didn’t want to hang out, I was always known as the Debby Downer, the killjoy. I was never once asked why I didn’t want to, I was just labeled as the person to stop asking if they want to hang out.

I felt all the years of disappointment and pain start to make my chest tighten in panic; holy shit this is going to be a situation like my old friends who stopped trying. He will most likely break up with me, great.

God, you’re so fucking stupid and I never wanted to hurt Shawn. I really did love hanging out with him when I didn’t let my anxiety take over, just seems like I’ll never really win the fight with anxiety.

——

I had already accidentally induced 2 panic attacks by 8:45, I mean I’m a whole fucking mess. I always seem to distance myself and hurt others. Great.

I heard the front door close and I jump slightly, I wasn’t expecting him to be back until at least 11. It wouldn’t be new for them to go to eat and then go get some drinks at the club.

I quickly rub the tears off my eyes and turn the bedside lamp off and flip over onto my stomach, shutting my eyes quickly. I let my hair fall over my puffy eyes, no need to concern him with my crying.

His footsteps get closer to the room and I feel my anxiety build in my chest, I was so afraid he’d come to my side and see my tearful eyes.

When I sense his body in front of me, I cuss in my mind for jinxing myself.

I feel his hand start to brush my hair out of my eyes, he stays quiet for a few seconds. “I know you’re awake.” He says and I sigh defeatedly. “Yeah, I am,” I say and keep my eyes closed still. He turns on the lamp and pushes my legs over so he could sit down.

“Sit up, I want to talk.” He softly demands and I sigh once more before sitting up, my eyes opening slowly. He sees my red eyes and I watched his face falter. “Why are you crying

baby?” He asks and I shake my head, I wave it off.

“Is it me? I’m so sorry.” He grabs my hand and I shrug. “It’s okay,” I mumble and he kisses my hand softly. “I came home early to apologize actually. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn’t mad at you for not coming. I knew it came across like that, I was just sad that we haven’t gone out together in a while.” He explains even though I told him it was okay.

“It’s all forgiven.” I really was accepting his apology, but I felt a new wave of tears just overflow in me. I was sad because I knew I was letting him down, I wasn’t what he was hoping for in the past 2 months. He jumps up quickly to sit beside me, he pulled me into his arms.

I felt bad for even crying, I just wanted to disappear so I wouldn’t hurt him even more. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry I upset you so much, I’m so sorry.” He whispers and I just felt like shit, now he’s worried that he was the initial part of my pain.

“It’s not just you babe.” I try to say but I was a choked up mess. “When you’re ready then I’m open ears.” He whispers and I nod, I just hide my body into his chest. I felt so safe in his arms and I hated it.

“I have really bad anxiety and I’m always letting people down. I’m so sorry that I’m one more person you have to deal with.” I sob and he rubs my back, I felt like a wimp. “You never mentioned your anxiety.” He whispers and I nod slightly. “I didn’t want to disappoint you with my problems,” I admit and he scoffs, mentally I knew it was so stupid when said aloud.

“I once made you leave work to come to the animal shelter with me, we’ve established that our problems will never be disappointing or silly.” He soothes and I nod.

“I was in a partial hospitalization program when I was 17, I had allowed my anxiety to get so bad when I was a teen. I avoided school and I stopped hanging out with all my friends or family. So when you said that I wasn’t going because I didn’t want it to be with you, I felt like all my reoccurring fears surfaced. I spent years in pity for myself because all my friends left me behind because they stopped caring about me once I became absent. I just felt like you would’ve left too.” I spoke so quickly and I let the tears roll down, I felt bad for crying on his suit.

“You need to change. I’m going to mess up your suit.” I push myself off of him and he sighs. “Well, I wouldn’t even care but since you won’t let me hold you, I’ll change.” He jokes as he walks into the closet. He came back with some gray sweatpants without a shirt on. “I don’t want to cry on your bare chest! You’ll be all wet!” I hated that he was so goofy and made me laugh when I’m in the middle of a breakdown.

“Fine!” He exclaims jokingly and went back into the closet, he came back out with a black shirt on. He jumps back to his spot and pulls me into his lap again. He was wiping off the tears and he messed with my hair.

“I would never leave you just because you didn’t want to go out. I wish you would’ve told me about your anxiety a long time ago, so I wouldn’t make you feel bad for it. I know what it’s like to struggle with it and I would never want you to feel like a burden that I have to carry around. You didn’t choose to have anxiety, I’m sorry that people made you feel bad for it all of your life.” He was rubbing my cheekbone gently and I felt more tears surface.

“I just feel stupid for even crying over this!” I sniffle and he just shushed me. “Hey, baby you have no reason to feel stupid over it. I’m glad you told me so we can face this together. I want you to get help and I want you to know I’m here for you every step of the way. I promise.” He puts feathery kisses my forehead.

“You promise that I’m not just something you have to deal with? I don’t want to sleaze you into trying to help me. I don’t need to be a burden or a nuisance.” I almost croaked it out, he just shakes his head.

“You’ve been the love of my life for two years, just because you didn’t tell me a long time ago doesn’t mean that you’re sleazing me into helping. I love you and I want to support you, I can’t magically heal you as the stories go. I just want to be your helping hand because I love you.” He kisses my cheek and I felt more tears surface, only because he was being so amazing and I never had anyone understand as he did.

“I love you so much.” I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a bear hug. “I love you more, we’ve got this.” He tells me and kisses my neck gently.

“I believe in you.”

#anxiety #shawn mendes #shawnmendesimagine #shawnmendesblurb #shawn king mendes #shawnmendesimagines #shawnblurbs #shawn mendes masterlist #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes imagines #shawnmendes #shawnmendesangst #shawnmendesfluff

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washvngton-blog · 6 years

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❝ I grasp my anger and loneliness and hold it in my chest. It has changed me into someone I never meant to be. ❞ Josephine ‘Josie’ Washington, Kiersey Clemons, Sixteen, Incoming Sixth Year, Gryffindor, Cis-Female, Muggleborn, She/Her

here are some links: stats page, pinboard, application. there’ll be some triggers in this intro that i will give a heads up for at every necessary bullet point. they are terminal illness, cancer, death (of a parent), grief.

okay so i think her application gives a lot of information about josie and her background, so i’m going to keep this sweet and short & try to just give a short rundown of everything and add some more stuff!

josie grew up in a pretty normal family. one of those picket-fence, pretending-to-be-perfect families. she grew up in a calm neighbourhood in newport, was always a bit of an odd one out, with her love for black nailpolish and bands her parents didn’t approve of and the inexplicable things happening, but she was loved and life was stable and sometimes a bit dull, but good.

cancer / terminal illness tw. they found out that her father had cancer in the same month that they learned about josie’s magic. fucking ironic, right? add in the fact that josie was an optimist who had no idea what the limits and rules of the wizarding world were, and 11 year old her was convinced that she would go to hogwarts, find a cure and come back. that’s what would’ve happened if this was a kids movie, after all, and life kind of felt like a shitty movie at the moment.

death tw i mean, we all know about the statute. we all know that there’s limits to magic. josie was a child, too, unable to even perform magic that would be able to cure cancer if it existed. she kept trying to find answers, though, speaking to the matron and her teachers and reading books, desperate and convinced that magic could solve this, because it could mend broken bones like that. but he died, still, and all the denial that josie had found comfort in was ripped from her hands. ( this was in fifth year, around january, so it’s still quite fresh )

grief tw. and then there came the mourning. josie is stuck between denial and anger right now, tbh. it’s what she did while her dad was sick, too --- deny reality and rage against it, refuse it. she finds release in laughing things away and by beating bludgers and punching her pillow. being at hogwarts, so removed from home, allowed her to slip into denial more easily, btw. she’s kind of thankful for it, but also hates it. end of trigger warnings.

okay so there’s some background --- what about josie herself? she’s a hoot to be around, most times. impulsive, in your face, outgoing, present. she likes having fun. she likes doing stupid shit. she likes living. chaotic energy all over. such a stereotypical gryffindor that my gryffindor ass cringes at it.

on another hand, she’s gloomy and angsty and trying to stop being an optimist. josie has always had a short temper, too, and many of her negative emotions end up being expressed through anger. and she has some self pity hiding inside of her that she cant get rid of and she hates it.

josie is obsessed with fast food. she just loves hamburgers and fries. probs gets a cheeky nando’s v often. also just loves muggle culture which ties into this.

100% tired of the statute of secrecy and a lot of things about the wizarding world. would like to make a CHANGE. idealistic in her core, somewhere, hidden underneath her layers of edginess and being an angry teen.

lesbian icon

she really loves quidditch so much. she used to play football as a kid growing up and honestly she was like ... that’s kind of. the same concept but not rly but ITS IN THE AIR and she started to practise and got on the team in her fourth year and has been beating bludgers ever since!!!!

rly loves music as well, thinks jimi hendrix himself saved music and is convinced that he was a wizard. debbie harry owns her ass tbh.

constantly stuck between ‘ugh im such a soft icon, drinking chocolate milk’ and ‘i am going to fight the entire world with my ripped jeans!!’

curses like a sailor but who doesnt at this point in life

she wanted to do the st mungo’s internship but ehr grades were too low KDSJFHSD she’s so fucking bitter over it. idk what she’s doing now, i think she’s probably doing something more muggle-y but whomst knows! gotta figure that out. i do think she’d have a job, i havent thought about this lmao

josie isnt great in school mostly because she cannot concentrate for shit and is too chaotic??? thinks that the school system is stupid as well. she just wants to do shit! not sit in a classroom! damn! like she was def a better student at the beginning when stuff was so NEW but now she’s like .... excuse ....

idk she’s so chaotic she tires me

#holocene intro

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aikainkauna · 6 years

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Movie meeeehm

Thanks to @nitrateglow for these!

1: A movie you enjoyed as a kid that you don't now

-Probs some comedy I'd find awfully sexist/racist/homophobic etc. now. But of course, I can't recall a specific one, probs because the experience is so deeply squicky and traumatic. Oh, wait, I know. I adored The Great Mouse Detective as a kid, but have heard so many "bleh" comments about it later that I don't want to ruin it by rewatching it as an adult. Why take a happy, cherished, pure and joyous memory away, especially as there are so few of those in my life anyway in proportion to the bad memories?

2: A movie you disliked as a kid that you like/love now

-Not a movie, but I was literally too fucking terrified to watch Doctor Who as a kid on cable, because the Tom Baker repeats they were showing terrified me with the title sequence alone. That empty stare and howling, diddly-duming music were enough to give me nightmares. So I only got into Who in my late teens!

3: Your favorite movie as a kid

-Define "kid." I went through several. I loved the Disney Robin Hood, of course, and at puberty, Wayne's World (yes) and The Princess Bride were my own cult movies, before I had anyone to fangirl them with. Ah, the pre-Internet era.

4: An actor/actress it took you time to warm up to

I remember being weirdly terrified and disturbed by Jeremy Brett as a kid, but then I felt the same about Bowie, and... well. Clearly it was my baby self not knowing WTF to do with all this stirring, restless energy that later turned out to be my skinnyandrogynousbisexualguy orientation thingy. And while I'd first seen Caligari and Casablanca as a teen in the early 90s, I wasn't ready for Connie until he pounced me in 2012. I would not have "got" him the same way and as hard until I was a grown-up, with a wide variety of experiences from many areas of life and a boatload of books/learning behind me. Just... no way.

5: A director it took you time to warm up to

-If anything, I've cooled off various directors I was impressed by when younger. So much of the auteur stuff gets wanky and self-imposing, in this Arrogant Artist Guy "look at my GENIUS big VISION and also insecurity about my penis size" kind of way. I like directors who can be warm and have fun and who show some real humanity (not wanky anvilly/kitchen sink-y sort of "humanity" either). Maybe Branagh? I found him a bit annoying as a kid, but now fap all over his stuff because now I'm old enough to Get It. He is the best kind of fanboy director; his geekiness is catching. Listening to his Thor commentary was a real eye-opener into my realising just how massive a nerd he is, and in a good, "one of us" kind of way.

6: Top five favorite soundtracks of your favorite movie composer

-There isn't just one! But Clint Mansell and Debbie Wiseman turn to gold everything they touch. Debbie especially is hugely unknown still, but she has this most amazing, swellingly Romantic music full of sweeping emotion that I just can't rec her enough. Do check her out; she'll give you goosebumps.

7: Three movies that defined your teen/childhood years

-I think I mentioned those already! But as a teenager, Bram Stoker's Dracula, La Reine Margot and Heavenly Creatures were formative. There were others I obsessed about way more than those, but they weren't as influential--it's more like they were massaging buttons I already had.

8: Sci-fi or westerns?

-Blake's 7! AKA "The Dirty Dozen in Space."

9: Are there any movies you own more than one copy of?

-Ahhahaha. AAAHHAHAHAHA! Of The Thief of Bagdad, I own: The Criterion clusterfuck with the awful clumsy cover someone had their 5-year-old draw, the Nordic DVD, the German Blu-Ray because I live on the edge (what with those Veidt Eye Closeups in HD being a hazard to any uterus) and at least three different digital copies. Because I'm me. I also own two digital copies and one DVD of Casablanca, three digital and one DVD of A Woman's Face and don't get me started on the British telefantasy I have on both DVD and VHS. I have spare copies of both the Caligari Masters of Cinema release and the ITV DVD of The Spy In Black, so I guess I should throw them at somebody.

10: Physical media or streaming?

-Neither. Video files firmly saved onto and run from my hard drive. Fuck streaming with its choppiness (ruins the viewing experience for me) and physical media are usually beyond my budget (unless I save up for a Connie DVD). Besides, I rip my favourite movie discs onto my HD anyway. I want to be able to gif that shit, dammit!

11: Are there any movies you watch on special occasions every year (Christmas, Halloween, birthdays, your mother's aunt's wedding anniversary, etc.)

-Used to do Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween, but not any more. I still attempt ToB every Christmas. And I used to do All Through The Night with wine on my birthday, but as I can't tolerate alcohol anymore, the experience of Watching ATTN Drunk is no more. Someone start a Halloween tradition with me where we watch either The Student of Prague or Eerie Tales (or both) every year?

12: What movie do you most associate with your best friend(s)?

-Gosh, so few have stayed, so it's more like "movie that reminds you of a broken friendship," yay...?! I've learned to try and not associate movies with people that way any more, because it's more painful than it's worth. Connie is my best friend. He's like Krishna that way.

13: Name a movie adaptation you thought was better than or equal to its source material.

-LOTR put in more facial features and characterisation than Tolkien ever did, and did the tales far less fucking tediously. Imagine if you'd had to sit and watch hobbits walking through the countryside for 6 hours with barely anything happening?! Yeah...

14: What genres do your favorite movies tend to be?

-Historical, fantasy, Gothic Romantic, just Romantic stuff on the whole. More old than new movies these days. Why watch shitty modern chick flicks when I have far better characterisation and far less narrowly defined female lives in old-timey "women's pictures?" And guys who actually fucking shaved, dressed in clothes that were tailored for them instead of rented and saggy, whose bodily expressions weren't frozen for fear of "fagginess," and who weren't pumped full of 'roids.

15: Are you a fan of period dramas and if so, what era do you enjoy best?

-Yes. I love me some costume dramas, but I am seriously picky about them--most post-90s ones have been fucking awful and tend to feature shitty costumes and unkempt hair that would've sent real historical people to Bedlam, wobblycam from hell, vomit-inducingly excessive modernisation to be "edgy", and that one painfully skeletal bint they shove into every period drama ever these days, so it's... slim pickings for a history nerd, these days. There aren't many good ones set in the 17th century/Baroque era, which I love the most: the two Baroque dramas I wholeheartedly love are both series. (The Devil's Whore and By The Sword Divided.) The Angeliques and Musketeer adaptations are riddled with flaws, but there are some glowing bits within. As for The Golden Age of Islam... bloody hell, there really aren't that many good ones out there, are there?! ToB and Jodhaa Akbar and Disney's Aladdin, obviously. La Reine Margot isn't "my" period but it's great, as is Dangerous Liaisons (also not my period)--those are so fucking perfect. And the Connie period dramas, well... I think of them as primarily "silent movies" or "old movies," actually. Of those, The Student of Prague, ToB and The Wandering Jew are the best "costume" ones, IMHO. (I'd probs enjoy Lucrezia Borgia and Carlos and Elisabeth way more, were the copies we have not so smudgy.)

16: Name a movie you love that you would recommend to just about everyone.

-Ah, but we know there are always cynical cunts out there who'd give even Casablanca two stars, so what's the point? I'd still recommend it, though. And The Lion King, I guess.

17: Name a movie you love that you consider an acquired taste.

-Honestly, I'm thinking of telly rather than movies again. You will pry my cherished copy of The Time Monster from my cold, dead hands. Does The Devil of Winterborne count as a movie or TV? That's how far back my love for Mark Gatiss goes. Um... Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood makes me fucking cry with laughter (the comedic timing is what does it. *beat* "Ain't dat some shit!"). Of Connie's oeuvre, yes, I know Bella Donna is rubbish, but Connie and Mary are SIZZLING and horny and juicy and it's Valid as a BDSM porn movie. And the novel is actually good.

18: Name a film you like directed by/starring a filmmaker/actor you normally don't care for.

-Not so much actor/director, but I did *not* expect to love Thor as much as I did, because I expected a dumb popcorn movie but got great adventure cinema with a touch of Shakespeare instead. I really am not the right audience for regular Marvel features at all, before or after. Fuck Marvel up its dumb macho Republican ass. But Thor is fucking beautiful and operatic and poetic and majestic and Pagan and shit. Branagh knows what I like.

19: Name a movie that blew your mind.

-A Woman's Face (1941). Because. Holy. Fuck. How can I keep on finding yet more details in it six years after first watching it, having watched it countless times by now?! And obvs all the other stuff, like the shockingly good female POV, amazing and complex woman protagonist, amazing writing, amazing ensemble cast, amazing direction, amazing lighting, amazing evil Torsten Slinkypussy Barring and The. Goddamn. Attic. Scene.

20: What genre mash-up would you most love to see that either hasn't been done yet or hasn't been done enough?

-Feminist-savvy historical romance with fantasy elements and hot explicit sex that's not shit. Basically, like the stuff you see in my fics, but better paced and woven into coherent adventure movies.

21: The coolest movie you've ever seen

-Too, too many. But Bogie was the coolest. And Claude Rains had the best acting skills. And Conrad Veidt was Conrad motherfucking Veidt. So what with those three mountains of coolness all converging under the Moroccan sky, I'm sure it's safe to say "Casablanca."

#movies #personal #meme #i am leaving out tons i know #but i must attempt sleep nao #i was quoting don't be a menace to myself just yesterday ffs #every time there's an anvilly Point in a movie #i keep screaming 'mmESSAGE!'

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karadin · 6 years

Text

Trump’s remarks at sycophant rally - while avoiding White House Correspondents Dinner 2 yrs running.

1. "You want to see a lot of people? Go outside. We could have filled this place up five or six times.".

2. "I said, couldn't you have gotten one larger? That would've been nice."Reminder: LOTS of people are there but even MORE wanted to be there. Why didn't these Michigan people think of that???

3. "Where is Bill? Where? All right. Wherever the hell he is."Trump is looking, unsuccessfully, for Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette.

4. "I wish you could have given us a larger arena but what are you going to do?"

5. "They said, 'Donald Trump has won the state of Michigan' -- won the state of Michigan. And we won a lot of other states also. That was some night."

6. "We are appointing judges like never before. Great conservative, Republican judges. We're setting records. By the time we finish, I think we will have the all-time record."

.7. "We have the worst laws anywhere in the world."...

.8. "We don't have borders."

9. "I said, 'Let's not do it there. Let's let them put pressure on Gov. Jerry Brown. Moonbeam.'"So: Trump says San Diego is begging for the wall. And the money for it has been secured. But that maybe he won't do it to force a political opponent to feel some pain. So, OK.

10. "I can't pay the extras. I hate extras."

11. "Big areas don't want sanctuary cities. They want to be safe. They don't want them. We had to fund our military. Our military was depleted."This is not edited. These sentences followed directly on one another.

.12. "We are ordering brand-new airplanes. Brand-new everything."

13. "Mad dog Mattis could not be happier. Cannot be happier."

14. "The Democrats don't care about our military. They don't. They don't care about our borders or crime."

15. "You people just keep putting her back against him again -- again and again. It is your fault."Trump is referring to Sen. Debbie Stabenow here.

16. "We are doing things that are good."

17. "Whatever happens, happens."

18. "They were saying, 'What you think President Trump had to do with it?' I will do you what. How about, everything -- I will tell you what. How about, everything?" He's specifically referencing the talks between North Korea and South Korea over the past week.

19. "I know things about the senator I can say, too. If I said them, he would never be elected again."Trump is insinuating he has dirt on Sen. Jon Tester that would destroy the Montana Democrat's career.

19. "A woman lawyer, she said, 'I know nothing.' Now, she supposedly -- you know why? Putin and the group said, 'Trump is killing us. Why don't you say you are involved with government so that we can go and make their life in the United States even more chaotic?'"OK, stick with me here as we trace Trump's logic. The "woman lawyer" in question is Natalia Veselnitskaya, who met with Donald Trump Jr and other top campaign officials at Trump Tower in the summer of 2016-- promising dirt on Hillary Clinton.

20. "Look at how these politicians have fallen for this job."This is classic Trump. No one sees the conspiracy theory except him and the people in the room where he is speaking.

21."The only collusion is the Democrats colluding with the Russians, the Democrats colluding with lots of other people."

22. "Comey, how about this guy Comey?"

23. "They start something based on a document that was paid for by the DNC and Hillary Clinton."For the billionth time: The FBI investigation, which became the special counsel's investigation, was not launched because of the Steele dossier. the FBI investigation was launched in July 2016 because of information regarding Trump foreign policy adviser George Papadopoulos bragging to an Australian official that the Russians had dirt on Hillary Clinton

.24. "They did that to Admiral Jackson. They are doing it for a lot of people."

25. "In the old days, when the newspapers used to write, they would (put) names down. Today they say, sources have said that President Trump -- sources. They never say who the source is."Anonymous sources have existed since the start of journalism.

26. "They don't have sources. The sources don't exist in many cases. The sources in many cases don't exist."This is simply not true. Every mainstream media organization has a rigorous process to ensure not only that their sources exist but that the sources are in position to know of what they speak.

27. "You remember Jon Lovitz? A liar. Comey's worse. He is a liar and a leaker."

28. "I did you a great favor when I fired this guy. I'll tell you. I did you a great favor."

29. "What about the guy who took $700,000 for his wife's campaign. Nobody even talks about. Nobody even talks about it."A total and complete distortion of facts. Trump is referencing former deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe, whose wife ran for the Virginia state Senate in 2015.Then-Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe moved several hundred thousand dollars via an allied super PAC. Andrew McCabe never received any of the money -- as Trump, of course, knows. LIE

30. "Ultimately, I love my farmers."Look, at the end of the day, it it what it is.

31. "Long-term, you are going to be so happy."

32. "Chrysler is moving back to Michigan from Mexico." LIE

33. "Cars are coming back to Michigan." Auto manufacturing employment numbers dropped in 2017.

34. "Six years ago, I wasn't even running. The Republican of the year award. Maybe they knew what was going to happen."Trump has claimed to have won this award before. It's not obvious a) he won it or b) it exists at all.

35. "Nobody in the first year of office has done what we have done."

36. "After years of rebuilding other countries, we are finally going to rebuild our country."

37. "We have spent 7 trillion dollars in the Middle East." LIE

38. "We have a great site that we are going to buy. The best site."He's talking about the site of the planned US embassy in Jerusalem.

39. "Now, as you know, in the UK, in London, we have the best site in all of London. The best site."

40. "We are at the top of the charts. And they are talking about it all over the world."

41. "Our laws are so corrupt and so stupid -- I call them the dumbest immigration laws anywhere on Earth."... Says the President of the United States.

42. "And the laws are so corrupt, they are so corrupt"... Says the President of the United States.

43. "If we don't get border security, we'll have no choice. We'll close down the country."Trump threatens that unless he gets full funding for the border wall this fall, he will force a government shutdown.

44. "Be careful of your 2nd Amendment. OK, be careful. Be careful of your 2nd Amendment if they get in."

45. "Michigan had not been won in many years."

46. "There were 32,000 people. I finished speaking at 1:00 in the morning on Election Day. Thirty-two thousand people."The rally Trump is talking about was in Grand Rapids on the night before/early morning of Election Day. There were 4,200 people there, LIE

47. "We have to win the House. We are going to win the House.""I will sell this house today."

48. "We are not the patsies anymore."

49. "We are getting rid of Obamacare. Some people would say that we have essentially gotten rid of it." LIE

50. "And nobody knows what a community college is."

51. "Not come in based on some random lottery system."[narrator voice] It's not a random lottery system. LIE

52. "It is all happening."

.53. "We will have crystal clean water. We will have beautiful, clean air. We will be great."

54 "When the President of France came in to see me, President Macron, wonderful guy. We like to shake each other's hand."

55. "Mars is waiting for us."

56. "They hate your guts."Trump is talking about the media here. And, no, the media doesn't "hate your guts."

57. "We are higher now than we were on Election Day. We are higher now."No comment.

CNN

#trump #impeach trump #trump traitor #trump fail #unfit for office

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moviestorian · 6 years

Note

11, 35, 36 and 62! and thanks for coming up with this! 😊

Thank you for the ask!^^ I’ve had this idea in my mind for months, and the actual ask meme was waiting in my drafts for a while, but I decided it’s the right time to finally publish it. :) If I can do anything that the fandom will like, I will do it with pleasure!

11. Best written character.

Book-wise, it’s definitely Demelza. The best developed, most realistic and relatable, likeable but flawed. When it comes to the show… well, I admit it’s a very hard choice to me, because I think in the series all characters are either not developed enough, or inconsistent in one way or another. I really wanna say that George is the best written character (imo Debbie turned him into a super interesting character), but s3 ruined everything and at this point he’s barely anything other than a cartoon villain… Pretty similar thing I can say about Caroline - I thought she was amazing in s2, but s3 was a huge disappointment when it comes to her character. I adore s1 Demelza, but as the show progresses, the less I care about it…

35. Thoughts on Keren Daniel?

I was first introduced to her character by the show, which is… not very favourable for Keren. Honestly, it’s basically impossible to like show!Keren. She’s selfish, arrogant, dishonest, manipulative, entitled… I don’t think the show actually shows even one really good quality of her, and in addition to that we have this whole “femme fatale” storyline, how she’s a great seducer and making all men she’s been with miserable (poor, good Mark tried so hard for her and she was so ungrateful and was flirting with other men on her wedding; and poor innocent Dwight she seduced).

Then I read the books and was honestly surprised. I can’t say I liked Keren per se, but I really, really empathized with her. At least we got to see her thoughts, her point of view… And while I didn’t always agree with her, she’s far more sympathetic than she is in the show. I’d say the book!Keren is, despite still having same manipulative and selfish traits, a lost, idealistic (and actually ambitious, talented and intelligent!)

girl whose expectations has been crushed by life, and crushed in the most brutal way. Had she known love and more understanding instead of hostility, I’m pretty sure her fate would have been different, and Keren would’ve been different, too. Not in everything, of course, but in some aspects, definitely, I’d say.

36. What do you think was Rowella’s main motive for seducing Osborne?

Frankly? I couldn’t say for sure. The fact that we never really get to Rowella: her thoughts, feelings, values, it all makes it extremely difficult to understand the reasons behind her actions. However, it’s really hard to imagine, at least in my eyes, that she genuinely desires Osborne and wants to be his mistress… On the other hand, I too don’t believe that her motives are purely altruistic and she just wants to help her sister. Helping Morwenna is possible one of the factors that pushed her to “seduce” Osborne, but I wouldn’t say it’s the main one.

My take is that she realizes that her marriage prospects are rather poor, and that she really wants to marry Arthur Solway, but there’s no way her family would let her do so, and as a result she sees her chance in Whitworth - by seducing him and making up the whole pregnancy story, Rowella got the chance to get money from Osborne and be with the man she wants.

Let me add at the end that this whole storyline is so messed up and the fact that Rowella is supposedly 14 years old doesn’t help much either… Like, I know Graham decribes her as super intelligent and mature, but it’s creepy anyway.

62. What is your favourite of all Demelza’s songs?

I’d pluck a fair rose from 1x04 without a doubt, it’s one of my favourite Poldark scenes in general, and this song is extremely beautiful (and also, I believe, the first time we got to hear the beauty of Eleanor’s voice - she was humming some happy songs before, but it was hard to judge her vocal skills back then). Life is short but love is long comes as close second.

Poldark fan ask meme

#text poldark #keren daniel #rowella chynoweth #wera speaks #answered #tiffanyachings #poldark ask meme

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readingraebow · 5 years

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Dark Places Section Three

Libby Day (Now) - Libby Day (Now) (approx pages 246-345)

1. What kind of place does Runner live in? What does he tell Libby happened the night of the murders? He lives in an industrial sized mixing vat on the edge of an abandoned government project. It's a toxic waste dump that's basically filled with aresenic. So, yeah, now he lives there. And he tells Libby that he thinks Trey helped Ben murder his family. He says that Trey was a bookie looking for his money and since Ben was with Trey that day, he thinks they went to the Day house looking for money and, when they couldn't get it, murdered the whole family. And Runner also tells Libby about Diondra's pregnancy and that he thinks they might've killed her as well.

2. When Patty goes in Ben’s room, what does she find under his bed? What does she do with it? She finds all the little girl underclothes that Ben bought for the baby. And since they are in such varying sizes, Patty just assumes these are the underwear from all of his "victims" that he kept. At this point, she just assumes everything she heard at the Cates house is true. And because she doesn't want the police to find everything, if it is true, she burns all of the underthings in the fireplace.

3. What did Trey and Diondra take Ben to do? Why was he afraid to take the first swing? They took him out to kill a cow. But first they did some prayer thing to the devil and then Diondra went first and started stabbing the cow. Then Trey started in with his axe. But Ben just stood there, watching. He didn't want to join in because he didn't know what it would feel like. Because, he figured, it would be like all the other things he'd tried: weed, alcohol. He knew if he got a taste for killing, he wouldn't be able to stop. So he didn't want to start. But he did. Eventually, he did join in and help.

4. What did Lyle tell Libby about his past that he hadn’t told anyone else? The fires in California in 1999 were started by him. He was a kid, out playing in the woods behind his house. And he was playing with a lighter, just trying to see how close he had to get to light the foxtails on fire. And then he looked back and everything behind him was burning. And it was so windy that it was blowing the fire to other parts of the forest until, suddenly everything was on fire. And he tells Libby because that's what drew him to her story. He thought she might've been like him. Just a kid who made a mistake but whose actions had big consequences.

5. Who is Polly Palm? Who is Crystal? Polly Palm is Diondra. Back when the murders occurred, she used to use her "stripper" name (the name of her childhood pet + the street she grew up on) whenever she ran away from her parents and needed a different name. Well, she was reported missing shortly after the murders and she's been using that name since, living in hiding. So that's the name she's using when Libby tracks her down. And Crystal is the baby she was pregnant with when the murders happened/when she disappeared. Crystal is Ben's daughter, Libby's niece.

6. Why did Ben and Diondra come back to Ben’s house to get money? Who was in the doorway of Ben’s room listening, and what did this person hear? There were a bunch of messages on Diondra's answering machine about Ben molesting little girls and when Diondra heard them, she assumed Ben was going to be arrested and didn't want him to wait around for that to happen. So she decided they were going to run away. She said she still has $200 but they'll need more if they're going to disappear. So Ben says he has some money he's been saving and he says his mom always has a couple hundred hidden somewhere around the house. So they go back to the house to look for money and while they're looking, Michelle is waiting outside the door. She overhears that Diondra is pregnant and says she's going to tell their mom. Diondra chases her down and strangles her. And Ben literally just stands there watching??? He halfheartedly tries to stop her but then he just ends up standing there, with his hand on her shoulder, while she murders his sister. WHAT????

7. What do we learn Patty did to help with finances for Ben? So to help save her family and her farm, Patty hired the Angel of Debt to murder her so he kids could collect the insurance money and, if Ben was arrested for the molestation, legal costs. But it all went horribly wrong. When Diondra was strangling Michelle, Debby went looking for her mom to get help but instead found her mom being murdered. And the Angel of Debt had made it clear that no one else could see his face so he picked up an axe and started hacking at Michelle. Then he found the already loaded shotgun because he thought that would be easier and came back and shot Patty. After he left, Diondra decided to "help" (or something? I still have no idea what she thought she was accomplishing) and she drew all the Satanic stuff on the walls and threw food around and it was her footprint they found (she had giant feet and wore men's shoes) and her blood on Michelle's sheets (finally the DNA evidence everyone wanted!). And she told Ben to go look for Libby (so it was Ben's voice she heard) and bring her inside so they coULD KILL HER TOO so then Ben would be a victim and everyone would forget the molestation thing and he could collect the insurance money all by himself and he could take care of his family. Instead he went out, saw Libby and yelled for her to stay where she was (great plan since it was FREEZING) and went back to help Diondra and also erase any evidence of her being there (he went around and wiped up footprints and her fingerprints). So, basically not what Patty had planned to help her family out AT ALL.

8. What did you think of the ending of this book? Did you see it coming? How do you like this book in comparison to one of our previous reads, Gone Girl? I honestly absolutely hated the ending of this book. I thought it was stupid. Hiring a hit man to kill you so your family can collect the insurance money and then leaving your sister to pay to raise your four children is a stupid, cowardly way out. And Ben standing by and watching his crazy girlfriend murder his sister, DOING NOTHING TO STOP HER, and then going to prison for her and protecting her for 25 years is equally stupid. So I hated the ending and it honestly made me hate the rest of the book as well (though I was getting there on my own with how poorly paced the middle was). And compared to Gone Girl, I liked this one a sliver more. I don't flat out hate it, the way I do with Gone Girl. This book had exactly one redeeming quality for me that puts it a notch above Gone Girl: I didn't guess the ending in exactly five minutes so that was, at least, better. But, honestly, Gillian Flynn mysteries are just not for me. I still kind of want to read Sharp Objects just to be absolutely sure (and because I really want to watch the show) but if that one also falls flat, then I'm done. I just can't do popular mysteries. I really can't. They're all so, so unbelievably bad. *curls up with an Agatha Christie to set the world right again*

Section Three Reading Journal

*sigh* So as you can see, I hated this book. And I’m honestly really annoyed that that ended up being the case because I really was liking it at the beginning. But then the horrible pacing happened. And then, the worst ending OF ALL TIME. (That’s not true. Please see my review of Little Disasters on Goodreads for that gem.)

Anyway, I can’t begin to even tell you all the ways this book made me mad. Because there are so. many. A few of them I’ve already detailed but that might take more explanation.

So. The one thing I did actually like about this book is that I didn’t flat out guess the ending from the beginning. I thought it was weird that Michelle was strangled and the other two were more ~connected. But I didn’t immediately guess that there were multiple killers. I did catch the Angel of Debt at the beginning though and put that together with Patty when the foreclosure happened. And I guessed Diondra killed Michelle pretty early on. (Though for quite a while, I honestly thought she killed them all.) But Debby was the one I could never make fit. So, for that tiny little mystery, I do give this book some credit.

Not that I liked any of it. I honestly don’t know how a book could take characters that I didn’t really ~like but, at least, didn’t mind (though Patty I did actually like until the end) and make me flat out hate every single one of them in the span of about 30 pages. Because all of their motives were absolute crap and they were all so fantastically weak. And I literally wanted to just Silver Linings Playbook style chuck this book right out the window.

But let’s break this down. Patty is about to lost everything and instead of sticking around and figuring it out (she had a sister who loved her and would’ve helped her get back on her feet, I guarantee it), she decided to just die and leave her kids to be raised by someone else. As any good mother should. Ben hated his little sister but also seemed to hate his girlfriend (he said himself that if he would’ve run away with her, he probably would’ve killed her when she got on his nerves) and his future child, who he never even wanted, but stands by and allows his crazy girlfriend to kill his sister and then protects her in prison. Because that seems normal. (And even though he wasn’t a molester, he definitely was a pedophile and I hated how the book pretty much glossed over that???? Straight up making out with an 11 year old and getting off on it is not normal. That’s Cement Garden territory.)

Then that brings us to Libby. Because I could’ve almost forgiven all of her quirks and how she just allowed herself to be the victim for her entire life and never even try to move on or care about anything more than money. But then she forgave her niece. I’m sorry. SHE TRIED TO KILL YOU. And you knew her, what, ten minutes before that? And had a family bond with her already? Crystal was raised by an actual psychopath. That messes a kid up. But, instead, she’s just going to let her go. I’m not saying Crystal needs to be in jail (that’s more Diondra, not as much Crystal) but I’m saying she could probably use a lot of therapy to undo all the damage done by her mother and by letting her off the hook, Libby is basically saying that her behavior and her mother’s teachings are alright. And they’re not. So what’s going to stop Crystal from becoming her mother in the future? And possibly also becoming a murderer.

So. Short story about how I flat out hated every character when I finished this book all because of the ending. And toward the end of section two/the beginning of this section this book honestly got pretty hard to read. Because I was bored. The pacing in this book was absolutely terrible and so much of it was unnecessary. A good mystery is short and to the point with the mystery buried in the details, not under a pile of crap that you hope distracts the reader (or bores them) enough to not catch on. And Gillian Flynn has never really learned how to do that. But, then again, the people who have made popular mysteries bestsellers seem to not have noticed that. Probably because the best written mysteries are not popular. And that’s honestly sad to me.

Anyway, if this movie is still streaming somewhere I’ll probably watch it. Because I really do like the cast. (Hi, I watched the first season of Good Girls and I love Christina Hendricks and I watch to watch all the things she’s in now so THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR.) And I’m kind of hoping the movie cleans up this mess of a story. Though, honestly, there’s no fixing that ending. *sigh* So, if I do end up watching it, I’ll be sure to write a review here.

But, now, I’m going to read something I actually like. And I’m so, so glad this book is finally over so I can be on to other things. It’s been a rough few days.

#trcbooks #2015: dark places #2015 reading challenge

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itsyourchoicedevotionals · 4 years

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Infected

“…Capernaum—do you really think you’ll be exalted because of the great miracles I have done there? No! You’ll be brought down to the depths of hell because of your rejection of Me. For if the miracles I worked in your streets were done in Sodom, it would still be standing today! But I tell you, it will be more bearable for the region of Sodom in the day of judgment than it will be for you.” Matthew 11:23-24TPT

Jesus was bringing an indictment against Capernaum, which would at some point enter into the court room of heaven against them. Per Matthew 9:1TPT “Jesus got into the boat and returned to what was considered His hometown, Capernaum.” Chapter9 we see miracles; — a centurion’s servant healed, — girl raised from the dead, blindness, and bleeding healed, — a mute being delivered from demon possession. Astoundingly, the people of the town didn’t believe in Jesus being God’s Son, see V34. Religious leaders infected the people with unbelief.

Sodom was destroyed because of the sexual perversions and atrocities performed with the consent of its leaders: “all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. … “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” Genesis 19:4-5 They were a depraved people. How much different is that from our nation?

As I meditated on this verse, I thought about our nation years back. It was a different world. I raised three children from birth, plus, almost entirely, another three others from ages two upwards. Never was I concerned for their safety, when they said, ‘We’re riding our bikes to the city pool.’ In summer time, I’d stand on the highest point of our hill and yell the kids’ names with the word ‘chow.’ Everyone showed up from some neighbor-friend’s yard for the meal. No fear-filled searching for them.

Our neighbor’s kept an eye on our house for unusual activity, while we were out of town. We did likewise for them. The townspeople were concerned about others. Police protected us from sometimes our own stupidity. Drunk drivers were hauled out of their car, and driven home. When they sobered up sufficiently, they could go to the police station and get their keys for their car. A couple of drunk stops would land you in jail, but no one fought the police. Sober or drunk the person respected the police officer’s position of authority. What happened?

Capernaum— Jesus’ hometown— place where Jesus physically stayed. The church individual and corporately —the household of faith— Jesus’ temple-aka-house— Has the church: — watered down HIs Presence? — stopped appreciating grace and tried adding works to salvation? — became Pharisees looking to the letter of the law and not God’s love? — became complacent to the pain of those hurting? — rewritten the miracles out of the church for today, because we lacked faith to see the supernatural?

There’s a world of sin-filled people, addicts of every sort and flavor. People in extreme bondage. Billions burdened down with guilt, shame, disgust, pain, unforgiveness. Millions demonically possessed, searching like the demoniac for freedom. Not even knowing what they’re looking for. Does the church carry its faith out to reach the Sodom and Gomorrah in their own back yards?

This text scripture frightens me, for myself and millions of others. Are we walking as Holy Spirit empowered believers filled with miracle power? Delivering those around us? We are to be infected with God’s Presence— infecting the darkness with the Light— changing Sodom and Gomorrah, not dried up dead bags of bones. Sodom would’ve repented. Will we take salvation to them? Leave them damned? Stagnate in our traditions and lack of faith? It’s your choice. You choose.

PRAYER: Papa God forgive us for our lethargic apathy, for sitting upon our derrieres— not healing the sick, delivering the demoniac, or winning the lost. Help us to go in Jesus the Christ’s name I pray.

#Jesus Christ #lord of lords #Word of God #Holy Spirit #God #it's your choice #devotional #infected #grace #destroyed #consent #complacent #miracles #love #hope #faith

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samtheflamingomain · 3 years

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a shameless ending

Shameless is over. It ended exactly how I predicted the first time Frank had a lapse in memory.

I knew right away he was losing his mind, and that he wouldn't go gentle into that good night.

Having Frank's death be the end of the show was a perfect decision. Its execution however, to me, left a LOT to be desired.

I have very little to complain about regarding Frank dying alone in a hospital bed without anyone there to love him, him floating away, reading his suicide note. What I didn't like was literally everything else.

It was cute to have Mickey surprise Ian at the bar for their anniversary. I think if Frank's note had been read over the happy scene of all his kids and their loved ones celebrating love it would've been a great ending.

But for some reason they instead decided to have everyone sing a weird song outside while laughing at a guy whose car is on fire.

I've never liked the music they choose for this show. I HATE the theme song, and almost every choice they make I wonder why. I've never heard the song they sing at the end, I can't name it, and it's not catchy.

I get what they were going for. "Oh look at the shameless white trash singing laughing at a rich guy's car being on fire!" That's not shameless. That's... normal, if anything.

But it gets worse. In the last 2 episodes they "introduce" a 1-dimensional character for Debbie to fall in love with because she feels alone and breaks up with Sandy for "abandoning her kid".

As if Debbie isn't literally one of the worst parents on the entire show, Frank and Monica included. She's never held accountable for her bullshit, her blatantly terrible parenting, her hypocrisy, or her standing in the way of the family moving out of the ghetto into real lives just because she's "lonely". Deb grew up to be an absolute cunt. If they'd shown that as such, that would've been fine. Some people are cunts. But they still treated her as sympathetic???

I've had zero sympathy for her ever since she left Frannie in an empty house just expecting someone to take her to school while she went and fucked a minor. Whether they intended Debbie to be a bitch or not, they did the character dirty. Either commit to her being a shit parent or don't. Don't pretend like she's a good person when she blatantly isn't. The show is called "Shameless". We expect shitty people. We don't expect them to get full passes for being shitty.

Ian and Mickey's story wrapped up just fine for me. Though I continue to hate Tami because she's the worst, Lip's story does too come to a decent close.

That leaves Carl and Liam. Carl's a traffic cop, after trying to stand up for the poor and indigent in his community. I was really waiting on the moment he threw down the badge and quit, but... him picking on rich people for parking tickets is alright by me. Fight the man, no matter how small it seems. Honestly, I think Carl is the most well-rounded character of the cast. His morals are a mess, but that's okay, because he kind of knows that. He's kind of the only one actively trying to forge their own destiny and discover who he is at this point.

By now, Lip is a mechanic with a baby. Ian and Mickey are married. Debbie is a slutty mom. Liam is a kid and the only one who cares about Frank. These things haven't much changed for these characters lately. The Ian/Mickey plot was 80% about fucking furniture.

Carl always seems to be figuring something out about himself, and I like that. Anyway.

The biggest problem for me this season is Liam. I really feel like he was the break-out of this season. He got a lot more screen time than even Ian or possibly even Lip, and he had a lot of great character moments. I absolutely died when he won the iPad for naming his middle school "The Middle School" because the judges didn't like any of the names put forth. Kid's going places.

Once the idea of selling the house is put forward, for some reason, Liam assumes that means that he, an 11 year old, will be out on the street. The kid literally scopes out places to sleep on the streets of Chicago in preparation for being kicked out.

Eventually, Lip realizes this and reassures him that he has a place to stay with his family once the house is sold. But honestly that wasn't really enough for me.

When they were hugging, I was fully expecting Lip to say something like, "And if I didn't have a place for you, Ian would. And if he didn't, Debbie would. And if she didn't, V and Kev would." Liam breaks down in relief when Lip assures him he won't be homeless. But that's not enough. You need to fix this kid. The fact that he would even believe that selling the house meant him being homeless is something that needs to be addressed. That means that he truly feels nobody cares about him or notices him. And honestly, most of the Gallaghers aren't great about that. I think that's why he magnetized to Frank. Nobody else likes Frank. Nobody notices Liam. It makes sense, at least to an 11 year old.

It was equal parts frustrating and endearing to see him completely take over the role of taking care of a demented, dying Frank. He went out of his way to take him around to "do Frank things". In one of their last scenes together, Liam admits he's worried about taking care of him.

Frank asks, "Have you [the family] talked about what will happen to me when I get too bad?"

Liam says no. "But it'll probably fall on me to decide." Frank says that's a lot for a 9yo. Liam says "I'm 11." The point still stands.

As much as it's rewarding in a way to see Frank die alone, I think it would've hit a bit harder if Liam had been there.

I wasn't sure where to put these next 2 gripes but first, it was absolutely criminal that there wasn't an endtag showing us exactly how Frank stole Nighthawks from the museum. I HAVE TO KNOW HOW HE DID IT??

Second, the OD. V is a nurse and Ian is an EMT. They checked his pulse, and then did NOTHING. That's criminal negligence on those who didn't call 911. That should literally strip V and Ian of their licenses to practice medicine. That's unacceptable. I don't care that "he's done this before". He had a faint pulse, unresponsive to pain.

I hate my father with every fiber in my being, but I don't think I could stand over him, possibly on the edge of death, and not call 911. That right there is probably the most shameless part of the final episodes.

Finally, while I think it was great hearing Frank talk about his kids as he floated into death... I would've liked a more Six-Feet-Under kind of ending. Show us where everyone ended up. We know they sell the house... then what? A lot of shows would NOT benefit from an ending like this. But I think this is one of the few that would've.

All in all, not my favorite season of the show, but not the worst or even really a bad ending. Just not what I was expecting or hoping for.

I'm planning on rewatching from the beginning tomorrow. I've only seen each episode once and I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of the gold so I can't wait to finally binge this show I've been attached to at the heartstring for 7 years.

Stay Greater.

#shameless #shameless spoilers #shameless finale #sam

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