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willsdreamgirl · 9 months

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off to the races — tommy shelby x reader ⋆｡˚

tommy x fem!reader

tommy and you are in rival gangs, and the peaky blinders interfere in your business. will you be able to let it rest? or will you give tommy the opportunity to realise his feelings for you through your conflicts with each other?

cw: mentions of guns, knives, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, smut if you squint, arthur is an ass

a/n: you guys loved the first tommy fic i wrote, so here’s another one!! couldn’t do too much hardcore enemies to lovers bc i’m a big ol softie. anywho, don’t be a ghost reader and enjoy!! 💌

word count: 3.2k

“fuckin’ peaky scum.” “what’s up, johnny?” you asked quizzically. “what’s up? what’s fucking UP? look at this shit.” you leaned over his shoulder to find your crates of whiskey disguised as hardware empty. you sighed knowingly. “can’t even enter bloody small heath without having our shit raided.” “tell me about it.” johnny laughed humourlessly.

you sat in your office, making sure the books were in order. you listened to the silent ticking of the clock. but your peace didn’t last long. “they did it again, eh?!” an angry max entered your office. you took your glasses off and put down your pen. “maximillian, if you must enter my office, do not enter it screaming maybe?” your words fell on deaf ears, max already seemed blinded by rage. “honest to god, i’ll cut every single one of those bastards!” he yelled yet again. you stood up from your chair, clearing your throat. “no need for that, max boy.” “what? what the fuck do you mea-” “i’ve arranged a meeting with the big man.” “who? tommy fuckin’ shelby?” you threw on your coat and made your way to the exit. “yes max, tommy fuckin’ shelby.”

tommy shelby was, at this point, the most powerful man in all of small heath. every government official was on his payroll and he practically had the coppers eating out of his hand. after the sabini incident, rarely anyone decided to fuck with the peaky blinders. you’d known tommy in school, you were even friends with him, but that was before your parents decided small heath was no place for a growing lady and decided to move far away from small heath, far away from tommy. but they underestimated how much spending time with tommy’s family had affected you. your parents were good people, you knew that. tommy’s family got involved in all sorts of illegal shit but made tenfold the money yours made. eventually, you realized that the shelby way was the only way you could create wealth in dirty, old birmingham. no one takes a 13 year old girl seriously when she says she wants to start a gang. so you had to start taking extreme measures. stealing, lying and gambling, to name a few. but your weakness was also your strength. you were a woman. and men underestimated women. no one ever believed you to be a threat, so they let down their guards around you. (it usually only took a glass or two of whiskey anyway) when they were vulnerable, that’s when you struck. over time, you became feared in your city, the girl who fools the men. and here you were 12 years later, your gang, the bishop ryders, being the peaky blinders’ rival gang. now, you were open to forming an alliance with them, reminiscing your time with the shelby family, but you learnt fairly quickly that the tommy you knew before the war was not the tommy that you came to know after. he was bitter, and vengeful, and after an explosion at one of your warehouses where four of your men had died, the bishop ryders and peaky blinders became sworn enemies.

you entered small heath, coppers surrounding the car. you muttered under your breath, “must’ve recognized the damn license plate.” you stepped out of the car. “mornin’ coppers, what can i do for you today?” you said, a fake smile plastered across your face. one of them stepped close enough to you that you could smell his breath. they were trying to intimidate you, of course. “who the fuck are you here to see, eh? such a pretty lady shouldn’t be in these parts of birmingham.” he spoke, a disgustingly devilish glint in his eyes. you spat on the ground next to him and knee’d him in the crotch and you yelled. “i’m here to see your king, now FUCK OFF.” the coppers seemed to back away, the guy you kicked now crouched down in the middle of the road. you got back in your car and resumed driving.

you saw a building with a big sign on it. ‘shelby company limited’, it read. tommy was becoming a pompous arse, you thought. you walked in and took a moment to look around. they had definitely upgraded since the last time you were here. the woman at the desk spoke to you. “oi, do you have an appointment?” you scoffed, a secretary, how… civilized. “who might you be?” “i’m lizzie, mr. shelby’s secretary.” she spoke, proudly. you gasped in faux amusement. “oh! so can you tell your precious mr. shelby that y/n’s here to see him?” she rolled her eyes at your sarcasm. “can’t let random fucking people in without appointments. besides, he’s not here anyway.”

after a little probing, you found out that tommy was in his new mansion, grieving over the death of his wife. when did he get married? you went over to his house, pushing aside butlers and maids to get to his office. you scoffed, for what seemed like the hundredth time today, he really was the king of small heath, eh? you walked in, the sound of your hand on the wood echoing in the big office. he motioned for you to leave without even looking up. “fuck off.” he muttered in that deep voice of his. you cleared your throat so he’d look up. his hand stopped writing for a moment, but resumed writing when he didn’t get a reply from you. you sighed, realising you’d have to vocalize yourself. you took big, exaggerated steps towards his desk. “tommy bloody shelby, sulking in his big house bought with his huge stack of cash. never thought i’d see the day.” you said mockingly. he sighed when he recognized the voice. he looked up, setting the pen down. he spoke, resting his elbows on his desk. “what the fuck do you want?” you could taste the venom in his voice. you laughed dryly. “i should be the one asking you that.” tommy’s eyebrows furrowed. “what are you fucking talking about?” you took a deep breath, trying to keep your composure. the bloody nerve of this man. “don’t fucking play stupid with me, tommy. you don’t think i see how your men are raiding my whiskey crates every fucking day?” he looked ever more confused but spoke slowly, almost cautiously. “what do you mean ‘my men’?” “i mean your bloody men, tommy! fucking peaky blinders!” “my men did no such thing, i assure you. they only do what i order them to. and i have no reason to search or raid your crates.” you scoffed at him and mimicked the way his elbows were on the desk. “now, either you’re not very good at giving orders, or you don’t know what the fuck’s going on within your own organisation. whatever the fuck it is, you better fix it, and you better fix it fast tommy.” he looked at you in disbelief. “tommy shelby doesn’t take orders from anyone, especially not from a rival gang.” “i didn’t think tommy shelby sulked over a girl either, but here we are, eh? now pour me a fucking whiskey.” he got up, and poured you a glass. he looked down into your eyes as your hands brushed when he handed you the glass.

he downed the whiskey in one sip and immediately phoned the small heath shelby co. ltd. office. michael picked up the phone. “hello, tommy?” “tell polly, arthur and john bring their arses here in the next hour. family meeting.” 20 minutes later, the entire shelby family had assembled in tommy’s office. arthur was the first to speak. “what the fuck’s she doing here?” he motioned at you. “i have unnecessary business to deal with because of you fucks.” john stepped closer to you, sizing you up. “you don’t scare me, shelby. fuck off.” he looked at tommy in disbelief. “get off her, john.” tommy replied. “right, so one of you gave our men the order to raid every bishop ryder crate that comes into town. it sure as fuck wasn’t me, so who was it?” everyone looked at each other in confusion, except john and arthur. “you two. you did it, eh?” you looked at them. “we’re not tommy’s fucking guard dogs! we’re equal shareholders of the bloody company and we will do whatever the fuck we see fit!” john yelled. tommy slammed his fist on the table. “god fucking damn it! legitimate business is priority! when i say something there’s a fucking reason! when i tell you to do something, you fucking do it!” even though you’d known tommy for years, this rage was unfamiliar to you. you spoke assertively. “i have no idea how i got roped into this family drama, but it’s affecting my business. i will not have you fucking cunts pull this shit again. you try and i will cut each and every one of you.” you gave tommy a look that told him you meant every word of what you said, and with that, you left.

the next day, you were in your office, going over important paperwork. that’s when you heard commotion outside. you heard fighting, and then you heard a voice. arthur bloody shelby. he stormed in your office, going around your desk. you stood up. “what the fuck do you want, arthur?” he put his hand around your throat and slammed you against the wall. you had a tight grip around his wrist, trying to push him away. you struggled to speak. “insult the peaky blinders one more time and i’ll fucking kill ya.” when you looked in his eyes, you didn’t see arthur. you saw someone completely different. you reached into your coat pocket to pull out a gun, but arthur already had one next to your head. he pulled the trigger, the bullet grazing your ear and embedding itself into the wall. “next time, it’ll be your head, not the wall.” some of your security heard your conflict with arthur and barged into the office and pulled guns on him. arthur, in his rage, shot two of your men on sight. arthur let you go, and stormed out of your office. you’d had enough. enough disrespect. as if it wasn’t hard being a woman and running a gang in birmingham.

you went to speak to tommy. he was in his office this time, and you walked in to find lizzie typing something. “where is he?” you asked frantically. “not you again. like i said, you need to make an appointme-” “where. the FUCK IS TOMMY?” you yelled in her face. she looked at you for a moment, then spoke. “mr. shelby’s in the middle of a meeting.” “fuck his damn meeting.” you barged into his office, to find some copper sitting in front of him. you snapped your fingers to get his attention, even though you already had it. “we. need. to. talk.” is all you said. “get out.” he spoke, and you crossed your arms. the copper sitting in front of him looked at you, waiting for you to leave. “i was talking to you, dimwit. leave.” he said, pointing to the copper this time. he nodded and left quickly. “what brings you here, mis-” “your rabid dog of a brother shot at me yesterday and killed two of my men, in my office, in front of me.” you spoke, oddly calm. “what.” tommy was truly at a loss for words. “yeah. anyway, you’ll be at the epsom derby this year right? i’m gonna kill you tommy. it’ll be fun.” you said, laughing sarcastically. before he had a a chance to respond, you left his office. tommy was infuriated. not only had he lost his wife, he had gained a new enemy who now wanted to kill him, and his brothers couldn’t step up and do tommy’s job for two fucking days.

epsom rolled around, and you gathered all your men, and other men you borrowed from allies. you knew small heath men, so, you knew tommy’s men. you knew their vices: whores, whiskey and cocaine. you brought prostitutes with you, who had several bottles of alcohol and vials of ‘the snow’ on them, and had your men stationed everywhere. the plan was, distract tommy’s men, get him alone with you, and kill him.

as soon as the race started, you saw your plan unfold. all of tommy’s men were either fighting with yours, drunk and high in a corner somewhere or fucking a whore. you scoffed as you remembered aunt pol’s words. men and their cocks never cease to amaze me. truth be told, you missed that family. you missed going with the shelby brothers to steal whiskey from a pub as kids, and you missed aunt pol yelling at the boys, telling you how they were bad influences. and you missed tommy. your tommy. the tommy that would sit with you, talk to you for hours, the one you could laugh with endlessly. and here you were, plotting to kill him. how did it all get so fucked up?

while your men were distracted, you hunted tommy down. he was in the stables, alone, where they kept the racehorses. he turned around as he heard the familiar sound of a cocking gun. he raised his hands. “i’m unarmed.” you walked closer to him, gun still pointing to his forehead. “you and your stupid fucking gang have been doing so much damage to everything i’ve built all along. you got handed this tommy, you don’t know what it’s fucking like to build this from the ground up with your own hands.” you said, your hand on his shoulder. “someone has to pay, eh?” he said, take the hint and getting on his knees. you walked around him so that his back was facing you. you inhaled deeply. “ready?” you said. “give a man one last smoke?” he asked. “fine.” you turned around as he lit a cigarette. “this is the end of the line, eh? i was in this same position a year ago, maybe this is how it’s meant to be. tell arthur and john to stop fucking shit up, tell pol to take care of the boys, tell ada i love her and karl, and y/n? check in on charlie every once in a while? i don’t want him to feel like a lonely orphan, alright?” tommy spoke sombrely. you felt memories rushing back, memories of you and the boys playing with guns, getting drunk. you took a deep breath as you held back tears. tommy smiled when he felt the cold metal hit the back of his head. “don’t go soft on me now, love?” he spoke, you could hear the smile in his voice. your hand trembled as you put your finger on the trigger.

you pulled the trigger, and the bullet hit a hay bale somewhere in the corner. tommy exhaled and opened his eyes slowly. you kicked the back of his shoe, your voice wavering. “get the fuck up.” he stood up, turning around to face you. you hugged him tightly. “can’t bring myself to kill you.” you spoke, your head buried in the crook of his neck. “shh, i know sweetheart. i know.” you two always had an inextricable bond, and without either of you saying anything, both of you understood what the other felt. tommy cupped your cheek with his hand. you felt tears rolling down your cheek, tommy wiping them away. you leaned into his touch. “i fucking hate you, tommy.” he looked at you with adoration. “i love you too, y/n. it’s always been you.”

*a year later*

tommy carried you to your shared bed. you gasped as you felt him leaving kisses down your neck. “tommy-” “welcome to the family, mrs. shelby.” he said, smiling when he heard you giggle. “tonight’s gonna be a long night, eh?” he said, smirking. you smirked back. “oh, i’m counting on it.” you heard abrupt knocking, and then finn’s voice. “uh, tommy? i’m sorry- but um, it’s the russians?” you both looked at each other and instantly got out of bed. he groaned as he put his pants on and wore his gun holster under his blazer. “can’t catch a fucking break. not even on my bloody wedding night.” you rolled your eyes at him, as you wore your own holster, loading your gun and cocking it. “who told you to do business with the fucking russians?” he walked over and kissed you passionately, your tongues fighting for dominance. eventually, you pulled away for air, both panting, his forehead resting against yours. he looked you in the eye. “ready?” “always.”

“welcome to the family, mrs. shelby.”

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monggay · 2 months

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holy fucking shit you guys. um. i came across. a treasure trove. of um, my past self. came across an old group chat w some friends back when i was like, 12-13, and. holy shit.

good news: apparently i did use to be somewhat talkative and not quite as anxious to talk and interact ! i used to be able to carry conversations! not well or inawkwardly but very much plenty! i used to be able to talk and joke around without taking a million psychic damage just trying to send a message and even just saying whats on my mind carefree without being anxious that itll be weird or that they didnt want me to say that or that i didnt have to scramble for words or be unable to come up with quips or anything to reply other than just 'lol' or 'lmao'!! i feel like these days i only know how to talk and word things in a given or meme way aka all my vocabulary is just. tumblr memes.

bad news: holy fucking shit i was so cringe. like. on another level. on levels unimaginable. i was straight up just. weird. you know, horny preteen discovering sex jokes and crude language and sex humor for the first time? straight up had no filter, loved to ramble, except also had zero social sense still and rambled to a weird and overly and uncomfortable degree where it was just awkward and often said things that just. made the conversation weird? i embraced that weirdness and like, good on me i guess, but i think i just usually ended up saying things? blurting anything on my mind, that well. technically arent bad? or seriously fucked up or anything but just like. will probably haunt me for the rest of my life if i look at it now.

also like. i dont remember any of it ??????? i vaguely remember a Few conversations, but a lot of it? just straight up. unfamiliar to me who the fuck is that i dont remember saying any of that shit that past me is so fundamentally different and alien to me i literally dont recognize or remember anything i did then anymore

apparently i was just a giant nerd who read way too much smut and was just a little too unashamed and had very little sense of appropriateness which yeah i get given my age then its that. age of you know. just got exposed to people being vulgar, recently transitioned to high school from elementary, which is probably like. a way more. fucked up thing that people realize sometimes. cause in elementary i always thought i was still like you know. a little kid. but going into high school (which is younger than in US hs, at 12 y/o) youre suddenly treated or like, expected? to be older? more knowleadgeable? you know that thing about how kids these days are all trying to be adults now and how theres really no more media like the disney teenage live shows that separate little girl to grown lady? i think that jut like, hit me a lot in 7-8th grade + the introduction of nsfw shit and fandom and the internet (cause like. i did not have internet in elementary school, At All. and then suddenly in high school i was supposed to have a messenger account for school, i had a phone, i could use the laptop, i think i had a weird relationship w the internet then, cause at that point all my friends were already exploring facebook and posting etc, but i was so anxious and shy about that already that i just never started (which like, continues to today, i still dont use fb at all, cuase it feels so weird and awkward to start now when i was so adamant against not using it in the past) aaaand ive lost my train of thought and the point of this sentence

#might be a little #vent #y #so

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genderqueerpositivity · 2 years

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Meet the South Carolina native who created the transgender pride flag

Monica Helms dabbled with dressing as a woman in the secrecy of her own room while serving as a crew member on the USS Francis Scott Key submarine in Charleston in the 1970s — and she was almost caught by her superiors. Two decades later, Helms created the renowned Transgender Pride Flag in 1999. The road to boldly expressing her creativity and love for the transgender community was arduous. Born in Sumter in 1951, Helms prayed to God when she was 5 years old to make her a girl.

“As I got older, I started trying on my mother’s clothes when I was 12-13,” Helms said. “Because I felt like I wanted to dress as a woman because it was a part of me that was missing.” While serving in the U.S. Navy and stationed in San Francisco in 1976, she went out in public for the first time dressed as a woman.

“I was very quiet about it, of course, obviously. It felt natural,” Helms said. The United States military counted “homosexual acts” as grounds for discharge in the 1970s. After World War I, sodomy was a crime under a court-martial. Helms left the U.S. Navy in 1978. In 1992, she began taking hormones and officially came out as a woman in 1997. Worried that her transition would upset her father, Helms’ mother told her she wasn’t allowed back in her parents’ house in Phoenix, Arizona. At the time, Helms’ dad had Alzheimer’s and diabetes. “That was very painful,” Helms said. “That made me want to get a job out of Phoenix and go somewhere else. That’s why I came to Atlanta.” Throughout the ‘90s, Helms was encouraged by Mike Page, the creator of the bisexual Pride Flag, to create a transgender pride flag. She first flew it in 2000 in a Pride Parade in Phoenix.

“The stripes at the top and bottom are light blue, the traditional color for baby boys. The stripes next to them are pink, the traditional color for baby girls. The stripe in the middle is white, for those who are transitioning or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender,” Helms explained. Although legal progress has been made in recent years to benefit the LGBTQ+ community, such as the legalization of same-sex marriage in 2015, Helms said she believes the United States has a long way to go toward equality. Georgia and South Carolina’s transgender community suffers discrimination under state laws, including South Carolina’s recently passed ban on transgender athletes in high school sports. “We’re going to have to get visited by aliens in order for trans people to not be discriminated against. They’re trying every so often to pass laws to restrict transgender kids from getting medical help,” Helms said. “It’s very upsetting.” She encourages anyone with a desire to transition to make sure they have a supportive community around them. Helms didn’t have that while she transitioned as an adult. “I had friends, and I lost some of them. But now, I have more friends that I can count on — people I know real well — than I’ve ever had in my entire life,” Helms gushed.

Now, her relationship with her family is “perfect.” Helms said that no one in her family has a problem with her transition. “My father passed away in 2004. When that happened, my mother wanted me to come back,” Helms said. Helms founded the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA) in 2003 and is proud of the organization’s work to encourage the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs to publish a directive for trans rights. “We received emails from trans veterans telling us that (the directive) worked. That places that they were not able to get help before are helping them,” Helms said. “I feel that we may have even saved lives, in that respect.” In her free time, Helms builds and launches model rockets. She also loves to produce videos and go camping with her wife, Darlene Darlington Wagner.

June, recognized as LGBTQ+ Pride Month, is one of Helms’ favorite times of the year, and she loves that the month encourages the queer community to be themselves in the face of adversity. “We’re very proud to be who we are,” Helms said. Since the early 2000s, Helms has always been shocked to see her flag in various places globally. “I’m always in wonder of where I see it. I’m always excited to see it in different places. And, you know, (to see it) in conservative states, it’s just, it’s amazing,” Helms said. But there’s one other place Helms wants to see the transgender pride flag fly.

“I need to see it in the International Space Station,” Helms declared.

#monica helms #trans #transgender history #trans pride #trans pride flag #pride month #trans history #queer history #south carolina #news #q

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choicesficwriterscreations · 1 year

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CFWC's Writer of the Month:

Lucy-268

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is CFWC's very own, @lucy-268! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: lucy-268 Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

During the COVID quarantine in 2020. I played Bloodbound and Bloodbound 2. Then High School Story. I finally got tired of PB/Choices asking me if I wanted to try Open Heart.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Because Facebook keeps track of things you search for, it asked me if I wanted to join a Choices group. There was a post about Open Heart fanfics on Tumblr. So I dusted off my old Tumblr account.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I am a cat person, but Lucy was the best dog ever. She was my Mom’s dog that mom brought with her when I moved here from PA to VA to save me from having to drive back home every other weekend.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I am an introvert. A lot of people around me overwhelm me and I had an aunt who always made comments like, glad you decided to join us. Similar to this post.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

For choices, since 2020. In a previous life, I wrote Harry Potter fics. I wrote Hinny stories that are still available on fanfiction.net and Livejournal. But with few exceptions I won’t tell anyone the username I used then.

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Open Heart.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

This is the first fic I posted. I had an HC for Charley’s backstory and the brother she was close to, along with some of the brother’s friends. I think I brought the friend back in one other fic. At one point, I thought about bringing him in as an LI for Sienna. I would probably change it.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I Would Not Change a Thing. It’s personal to me because I know a couple of people who have semi colon tattoos. After I posted the fic, someone who has since left the fandom shared with me that she got the same tattoo that I gave Charley.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

My first one was well received. The fandom was more robust then, and I felt welcomed into the community.

I think some of my Tobias/Samantha fics are better than others I’ve written, but because of the size of the fandom and the pairing (not Ethan), they aren’t well-read.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I don’t often write smut, so we can eliminate that. I generally get more ideas for fluff, but I'd hate to not be able to write angst when the mood strikes.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Yes, There are a few pieces of Charley, Samantha, and especially Maggie (I even used my grandmother’s name there). Even a little bit of Emma from TNA.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

The ideas for fics. And dialogue. And time.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Did you look in my google docs folder? I have about 100 docs in there. Some are saved in files labeled Sunday Six that I need to go through and pull ideas from save fics together. I have three artworks I either commissioned or won that I need to write fics for, including a cat T/S adopted, a winter fic for T/S, and E/C’s wedding.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Nope.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

They aren’t active in the Choices fandom much, but two who were very welcoming to me when I started writing were @openheart12 (who asked to be tagged even though she had never read anything I wrote!) and @anothermansjeans (formerly oofchoices), who did some of my first moodboards. Thank you both for the kindness you showed me.

@jamespotterthefirst - Your fics were some of the first I read, and I was so happy when you started to read my works. You are a true friend, and I feel blessed to have you in my my life.

@jerzwriter - You are my go-to person when I need someone to talk to. I love your ideas, and I wouldn’t want to run CFWC with anyone else.

@genevievemd - You always find the best David Gandy photos. I admire your dedication to completing two series of Smiles. And did it daily.

@liaromancewriter - You are always willing to help with everything. Your Ethan x Cassie is great, but I love Maxenna. (And I still need to finish your original!)

@potionsprefect - I love Victoria as an MC. I admire how you have developed the personalities of your twins (and I’m jealous that I don’t think I have accomplished that yet.

@bex-la-get - It took me a while to find you, and I miss you now that you are on a hiatus. But I love your bookstagram accounts. I can’t forget to mention your cat videos of Percy and Odin.

@danijimenezv - Thank you for giving me the story idea for I Scream, You Scream. Thank you for sharing your stories of your vet internship.

@writer-ish - You always pop up with just the perfect comment or gif. I just wish you’d do it more often.

@a-crepusculo - Another fellow cat person. One of my favorite fics is your When It Rains. I love the idea of Ethan being free enough to stop and dance in the rain.

@storyofmychoices - Thank you for all you do for the fandom in general. Your writing inspired me to read both Mother of the Year and Save the Date.

@burnsoslow - See the above comment. Your Drake and Alyssa inspired me to read The Royal Romance, at least the first one. I was avoiding it because Choices kept trying to make me read it. I miss wackydrabbles, even though there are plenty of fic prompts around.

I am sure there are so many others I should mention, and I’m sorry for anyone I forgot.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

I would not change a thing; see question 8 above.

17- Do you write original fiction?

I have some stories started.

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, cooking, baking, and playing with my cats.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

💚😻🤦🏼‍♀️

#cfwc writer of the month #lucy-268 #open heart #the nanny affair #choices fanfic #choices fic writers creations #playchoices

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napping-sapphic · 4 months

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Hello! I have a Situation and its totally cool if you're not able to give advice but im looking for advice anyway bc im autistic and have no idea how to navigate romantic situations.

So ive had a friend since i was 12 her pronouns are she/they so i will be using both. Im now 20 and they're 21. I've known I like girls since i was 13. And shes pan.

So, in the past, ive had like fleeting thoughts of dating/kissing them but i usually just shake my head and think "nah i cant possibly want to date her bc they're my best friend, i just have very strong platonic feelings." Like Very Strong. Ive literally said that i will always compare my feelings for a future romantic partner with my feelings for her bc they're so strong.

So im honestly not sure if i would know if i was in love with someone unless it hit me in the face, and i am currently feeling like it has hit me in the face. I woke up at like 4 am last night from a dream just thinking "omygosh im in love with her" and ive been journaling and thinking all day ahout my feelings and im starting to think ive just been in strong denial/oblivious about my feelings. Both bc im autistic and have difficulty identifying emotions and bc im demiromantic and rarely experience romantic attraction so i dont have much experience with it.

I guess the point of this ask is about any advice you can give regarding knowing if i actually have romantic feelings and if i do,, like what do i do about it??? Should i tell them? We have a really strong friendship and i dont wanna make her uncomfortable. I think ill be okay not acting on my feelings but its been literally less than 24 hrs since realizing my feelings might be romantic and i dont know if it will be difficult to hide or what to do about it. They're also like my only close friend so i cant just ask her what to do like i would normally, which is why im asking you.

Again, i understand if you cant answer this bc its a pretty personal situation but i would appreciate any advice.

Thank you! :)

Ahh once again prefacing with the fact that I am really Not Qualified to give advice on most things😅 but I can give you my take as an outsider on the situation and with my (very limited experience) in case that might help you at all, but again really take all of this with a LARGE grain of salt i am a VERY unqualified stranger on the internet so most of what i say is probably nonsense😅

I feel like this is like my go to advice but I’d say just wait it out tbh, as someone who was in capital L love with their childhood best friend for a while it really just came down to time for me. It took a while for me to be sure whether the feelings were romantic or platonic for SURE. Especially since the platonic love stayed for me even when the romantic love began🤷‍♀️ it made it extra tricky to tell lol.

My ‘oh this is NOT just platonic’ realization came from YEARS of excessive thinking about them, WAY too much jealousy when they dated other people, a LOT of thoughts and urges about holding their hand, a lot of comparing them to people i had passing crushes on, and (i kid you not) an embarrassing amount of love poems teenage me wrote about them lol😅

However! The slow process and thinking it through also lead me to the conclusion that i did NOT want to date them. Being a couple just wouldn’t work for us and I value them so so so SO much as my best friend and really need them in my life as that separate, constant, platonic relationship that I deeply love and care for. It works better for us than any sort of dating could🤷‍♀️ not to mention all of our other clashing traits that just wouldn’t work if our relationship was romantic. And now I’m honestly really not romantically interested in them anymore, they’re just my best friend and always will be :)

I dont think it’s too unusual to fall a bit (or a lot) romantically in love with a best or close friend, I think the more important thing to recognize is whether it’s something worth acting on, that you’re willing to act on, and that will be good for both of you to act on

So I’d say ruminate on it! There’s no pressure to figure it out, if you start getting too preoccupied with it you can try talking it through with them, not even as a confession type thing, you can simply have a conversation letting them know you’re a little confused or wanting their opinion if you think they’ll be receptive to it. Best I can tell you is that there’s no clock on figuring it out, there’s no “right” way to define what type of love you feel, and to remember that either way you’ve got a great person in your life. I’m very sorry I can’t be more help and if anyone has any other advice feel free to leave it in the notes for this person! Good luck to you and I hope you find what you’re looking for soon <3!!

#asks #if i remember right this is my fourth case of giving probably shit advice im so sorry anon #ALSO remember to trust yourself more than me or anyone else you ask for advice💪#also ALSO sorry i talk a lot #i talk more when i get uncertain about what i’m saying😓#again im very sorry but im wishing you SO much luck #🐙🪼🦐🐠🐟🐬🦞🦀🐋🐡 <- calming aquarium trip for you!!

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lgbtawarenessproject · 11 months

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Part 9: Brazil and Venezuela

Is it truly part 9 already???? Gosh. Time flies so fast.

I am not able to do the other two essays tonight, so please take my messy notes and some links instead.

Anyway, next update will be Thursday! This project takes Wednesdays off.

Word count is like, 495-ish

-Soul

Brazil

Brazil is largely progressive in its laws. Homosexuality has been legal since 1830, gay marriage since 2013. As of 2018, it is possible to legally change your gender without medical procedures. In addition, as of 2021, every state but two have recognized a third gender. All but six of them, however, only allow it for intersex people.

Pride celebrations have existed in Brazil since 1997, and São Paolo, the first and longest running of them, is the largest pride celebration in the world with over 3 million people. When it began, it only had 2000 people, but it steadily grew until it reached the 3 million mark. Each São Paolo event has a new slogan and theme. These themes are about current LGBT+ politics, rights, or discrimination. The Pride parade is the largest and last official event of São Paolo pride. That is not to say there aren't things to do afterwards. Many clubs do stay open after pride after all. Prior to the parade, there are events like the craft fair, and drag shows.

Even with all of this, their record breaking pride, the laws, trans people still face extreme violence in Brazil. In fact, Brazil has had the highest number of trans murders for fourteen years. While they have tried to stop this with laws and regulations, political speeches and more, 2022 had 131 trans people murdered. Of the victims in 2022, 76 percent were black, trans-women making up a large amount of that. On top of that, this is only reported murders.

Statistical links: 1 2 3 4

Notable murders: 1 2

Pride information: 1 2 3

History: 1 2

Other important links: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Venezuela

When you research LGBT+ people in Venezuela, a thing you’re going to run into again and again is the illegality of being gay in the military. So let’s start with that.

In Venezuela, until March of this year, it was illegal to be gay in the armed forces. It was easy, in fact, to be thrown out or fired, even if you had previously been a model worker. The Venezuelan military justice code had banned “unnatural acts”, punishable by up to three years in prison. Formal armed service members spoke out about this, in an article you can find here. Good news for gays in Venezuela, however, as on March 16th of this year, the code was annulled. Former members removed because of that code have had messages sent to them letting them know they can be reinstated.

That does not mean things are great for queers in Venezuela, however. A trans-women in Caracas has talked about her experiences being out, and what it took to get there. She talked about how her family had been unsupportive of her transitioning, but reportedly are coming around to it. In the article she talks about how she is privileged to be able to walk around without suffering transphobia every day. She talks about her friends who have had to leave the country, or suffer abuse, or are unable to present properly. Venezuela also has a misogyny problem, and according to her, it affects her more than transphobia does.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

French Guiana

Links for Guiana: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Paraguay

Links for Paraguay: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Part 1

Part 8<-->Part 10

Please support this project by sharing! If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to leave them! And please check out our pinned post.

#project unknowing #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+#queer #current politics #pride month #discrimination #Brazil #trans brazil #trans rights brazil #trans murders brazil #venezuela #brazil politics #venezuela politics

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liarian · 1 year

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Smell of mold, dust and decay

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19

Part 20 Part 21

Katsuya had the impression of walking through the streets of Silent Hill. Half of the streetlights were out and the few that still illuminated something did so with a dim light that only helped to create an even more pathetic atmosphere.

His footsteps echoed in the darkness.

On the other end of the phone he could barely hear Reigen's paced breathing. Katsuya stopped in front of the house that people said was haunted. Katsuya noticed nothing but the passage of time eating away at the walls. If there had ever been anything, it was long gone.

"I think I'm here now" Katsuya whispered, as if afraid someone might hear. "It's the one with the red facade, isn't it?"

Reigen barely mumbled his answer. It was strange not to have his incessant chatter in his ear but he had barely said two words the whole time they had been on the phone.

Katsuya opened the gate and jumped out into the small garden. The flowerbeds were completely bare and only weeds survived in the desolation. Some of the timbers lining the entrance were uprooted, others were barely holding in place.

Katsuya hit one of the half-ripped timbers and managed to crawl inside the house. The smell of mold, dust and decay almost managed to suffocate him.

"Reigen?" Katsuya asked, trying to find the shadow of his best friend.

"Here" Reigen raised his arm. His voice, barely more than a broken growl.

His figure was nothing more than a ball in the darkness. Cornered against the wall, he hugged one of his knees trying to look as small as possible while the other leg was stretched out in a strange way. Katsuya shone the cell phone flashlight on him. The sweat pearling on his forehead glistened, giving him a ghostly look. His face looked like someone who had just been through hell itself.

Katsuya ran up to him and squatted down until they were face to face. He could barely see Reigen's face, hidden behind his crossed arms. His eyes were still bloodshot.

"What happened?" Katsuya reached up, pushing his sweat-glued bangs away from his forehead.

Reigen continued to stare into space. His breathing was slow and deep. Katsuya recognized the pattern. Reigen was forcing himself to breathe, holding the air in his stomach for a few seconds before exhaling again. Katsuya had done the same thing dozens of times whenever anxiety managed to overtake him.

"My ankle. I think I twisted it. I haven't been able to put it on the floor when I tried to get up."

Katsuya frowned. The swelling was obvious but a sprained ankle didn't seem to explain what looked more like a panic attack.

"Can we go home?" Reigen whispered, hiding his face even more against his arms.

"That position isn't normal. It has to be broken. Shouldn't we go to the hospital?" Katsuya asked, not quite sure what to do.

"Is that really necessary?" Reigen looked at him, eyes still shiny from tears. "I just want to sleep. would your mom mind if I stayed with you?"

"We'd have to call your parents. They'll be worried."

Katsuya hadn't felt as helpless as he did at that moment in a long time. Of all the things he'd read about on the internet, why had he never picked up a first aid manual? He was almost certain that in cases of a fracture it was best not to move him without first immobilizing the foot. The idea of carrying him in his arms and making things worse made him even more nervous.

The only thing that could be heard in the silence of the abandoned house was the chattering of Reigen's teeth. The pain seemed to keep him almost drugged. Katsuya took off his coat and offered it to Reigen before sitting down next to him. Dampness from the floor seeped through his jeans.

Reigen snuggled against his side. His whole body was shivering. He had to be staying awake by force of will alone. The stress had to have fried his nerves. Katsuya rescued the cell phone from Reigen's hands and set it down, setting it hands-free. The ringtones filled the silence.

The call ended up on the answering machine once. Katsuya tried again. The call ended up on the answering machine a second time. He didn't bother to call a third time.

Katsuya felt his power vibrating under his skin. Anger, frustration and fear battled in his chest. The last thing Reigen needed was to have to deal with his powers getting out of control. For once, he was going to have to be able to keep his cool. If only because someone needed him to.

In one last attempt, he picked up Reigen's phone again and searched through his contacts again.

Kageyama-san picked up at the first ring.

------------------------

Katsuya had never seen Kageyama-san so upset as the moment he entered the house, pieces of wood flying through the air, pushed by an onslaught of power. His eyes flashed angrily. The trench coat swayed in rhythm with his martial stride.

"Taka! Do you know where you are?" he said, crouching down to his full height.

"Here, I haven't gone anywhere" Reigen muttered.

Katsuya didn't quite understand the question but the answer seemed to reassure Kageyama-san. A strange feeling pressed against his stomach. With the broken foot it wasn't like he could have gone very far either. After all this time, there was too much Katsuya didn't know about Reigen's life.

"I've already called an ambulance. It shouldn't be long now." Kageyama-san ruffled Reigen's hair, a smile on his lips.

"Do you have to muss my hair?" Reigen tried to shield his head from the attack. "I'm fine."

"Once your foot wakes up you'll let me know." Kageyama-san shook his head. "Only you could break it on flat."

"Do you have to mess with me?" Reigen frowned. "I'm hurt! Don't you feel sorry for me? You should be feeling sorry for me! Serizawa! Defend me!"

Hearing his name in the middle of the conversation caught Katsuya completely off guard. For a moment, he was convinced that Reigen had forgotten about his existence.

"Against Kageyama-san? Don't expect me to be able to do much." Katsuya smiled.

Maybe it was stupid to rejoice but it had to mean something that, of all the people to call, Reigen had chosen him.

#mp100 #serirei #mp100 ageswap #fanfic #my own writing

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lyssentome · 1 year

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15 tags, 15 mutuals

Tagged by @eli-writes-sometimes , thank you!

tagging: @isabellebissonrouthier @toribookworm22 @notalazysod @reysfictionalworlds @harinawa @promptinator-writes @moonandris @ryns-ramblings and open tag (I know this isn't 15 but shhh)

Doing this for Alexius from Heirs of Starlight because I do not talk about him enough and Arden has been getting too much attention, as much as I love him.

1. Are you named after anyone?

I was named after my mother's best friend. I remember him as the honorary uncle, and a much more fun one than my actual relatives.

2. When was the last time you cried?

My mother's death anniversary. I've gotten to a point where I don't cry as much about it anymore, but I was feeling particularly emotional this year for some reason.

3. Do you have kids?

No. Maybe one day.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes, especially when I'm annoyed. Compared to Arden and Valeria I'm as genuine as they come though.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes and the shade of their aura. I don't intentionally seek out how dark or light someone's aura is when meeting them, but it happens involuntarily, so that is something I notice.

6. What's your eye color?

Dark gray. They look black in darker lighting, which is convenient when I don't want to be recognized in public.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely happy endings. I like scary movies, but I'm inclined to indulge in happy endings more. The world has so little happy endings, I think we deserve some happy endings even if they're fictional.

8. Any special talents?

I'm not sure... I'm a retrocognitive, if that counts. Personally I would count that as a curse rather than a special talent. It's not always pleasant to be able to see into other people's memories exactly as how they remember it, especially when it happens involuntarily.

9. Where were you born?

Contrary to popular belief, I wasn't born in Kayore like most Terician royalty. I was instead born in the coastal city where most of my mother's side of the family resides, Laucean.

10. What are your hobbies?

I like being around nature, usually in the form of hiking or simply observing things in the palace gardens. I also like reading and playing the flute.

11. Have you any pets?

Sort of? I have an animal I've bonded with, but I wouldn't call him a pet because I'm not keeping him, he just shows up when he wants to. It's a black dog, but I'm not sure what he actually is. I know he's not just a regular stray dog though. I think he might be a hellhound or something similar.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Apart from mandatory physical training, I haven't done much sports except for hiking and swimming. I don't think those count due to those being mostly recreational to me.

13. How tall are you?

(Completely disregarding that centimeters and feet would not be used here ofc)

I'm 188 cm tall, or around 6'2.

14. Favorite subject in school?

I really enjoyed ethics and natural sciences.

15. Dream job?

In another life I would like to work with animals and/or something nature-related.

#tag game #15 tags 15 mutuals #hos: a wip #alexius revion #writeblr #writing

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thedumbguywithaheart43 · 1 year

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A spark of hope chapter 16 story 1

Response

1. Everything was a blur for Twilight for a moment. She had started running back towards town. She hadn't even stopped to think an realize she could have just teleported.

2. But her adrenaline was spiking up until she slammed her door shut. She breathed heavily not realizing that she wasn't alone.

3."darling are you alright? Your mane is out of control!"she turned and recognize the voice of rarity. Along with the other members of Harmony with the exception of Fluttershy surrounding.

4. Despite the recognition she had trouble calming. Her breaths were quick an rapid. Her body shook.

5. Applejacks went up to her grabbing her in a tight hug in order to calm her."sugar cube it's all right we're here. Now tell us what happened."

6. A few minutes went by as twilight tryed to regain her thoughts. When she was finally able to breathe she retold her tail.

7."Me and Sparks were walking back from Fluttershy when he pinned me down."there was a awkward pause before rarity interjected with her own statement.

8."how bold of him~"despite her panic Twilights ears and cheeks went a deep shade of red."not like that rarity he pushed me out of the way of an arrow. I think someone tried to kill me."

9. This caught everyone's attention an sent everyone on alert. Rainbow in particular had her wings flared."we're the fuck is this bastard I'll make sure he can't walk!"

10. Twilight couldn't help but smile at how protective her friend was."there's no need last I saw Sparks...he..... I don't know how to explain it but he-"

11. Before she could finish explaining something large dropped at her feet. The assassin from the before was on the ground, unconscious, and smelling like burnt flesh.

12. Everyone went silent as they looked over to the form of Sparks standing over the body. Rainbow couldn't help but notice his wings were free having snapped out of their restraints.

13."what Twilight was going to say was that I went after the fucker. In my rush I missed the first attack I made sure I hit the second time."

14. His voice was cold as he spoke. But then rain began to slow. He then locked eyes with Twilight."and I might have also blew up a tree."

15. Obviously this left the girls confused unsure of what ment nor how he could have done that."what do you mean by that?"Applejack question.

16. Sparks took a deep sigh."I have a few I guess you can call them talents. I'm not really sure where they came from nor really how to explain them. But let's just say this guy deserved what he got."

17. There was a slow but understanding nod between everyone although he knew he was going to have to explain more to Twilight. In the meanwhile Applejack began to restrain the assassin with a rope.

18. Next few hours went by quickly as the guards and a few medical officers came in and collected the unconscious killer. Beyond that statements were collected but little was really said.

19. Even once was said between Sparks and Twilight. Both deciding to turn in early. Meanwhile Spike was busy hunting in the woods. Unaware to the current events.

20. Upon returning home he was quite surprised to see everyone had already turned in for the night. Yet despite that he had an feeling something was wrong.

21. He made his way to spark's tower an knocked knowing the Pegasus rarely slept. Sparks opened the door but remained mostly quiet.

22. In truth he was tired but he couldn't sleep. Even if the nightmares would allow him he was too worried about what Twilight was thinking.

23. Spike immediately noticed the somber expression he held. He place a calw upon his friends shoulder."Did something happen spark? You know you can tell me."

24. Spikes question and reassuring tone did wonders for his mental state. if there was someone he could open up to it would probably be him.

25. He sat down an placed a hoof back on spikes shoulder to let him know he was aware of him. Sparks then spoke in response.

26."today I stopped someone from hurting Twilight. I'm not going to go to in the details that's twilight's right not mine. But I have a lot of explaining to do."

27. Spike nodded understanding the serious tone. The Drake then pulled him into a hug."if you need help you know I'm here for you."

28. Sparks couldn't stop himself from smiling. He wasn't sure what was going to happen the next day. But as long as he kept his faith perhaps he could hold on.

29. Little was said after that with spikes simply explaining his training for the day. And with that he then left to rest himself And Sparks laid awake restless,scared,and hopeful. A very strange combination

#comedy #mlp fandom #writing #fanfic #twilight sparkle #spike the dragon #ocs #dramatic

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laceghost · 1 year

Note

End of the year ask

I'm so late but ty for the ask!! <33 1. Song of the year? That's so fucking hard to answer?? I think it's a tie between Spillways and Griftwood

2. Album of the year? Legally obligated to say Impera. cmon

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Very end of the year find but House of Harm is becoming a favorite of mine really quickly

8. Game of the year? I barely played anything this year tbh :/ I'll say Omori bc I finally finished it and it was super good!!

9. Best month for you this year? So glad that I had such a good year that it's hard to choose lol my whole summer of july to september were the absolute best, I got to spend a lot of time with my best friends, traveled to visit some amazing places and saw some really cool bands! I can't just choose one bc these three months felt like a whole year to themselves

11. Something you want to do again next year? I went to a very cool underground bar/venue in my town for the first time and I really hope I get to go more often!! I really want to see more little shows this year basically

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year HI HIIIIII @niimuue !! Ok so technically we've known each other since before this year. BUT. I didn't meet anyone new and I feel like we really got to know each other this year!! I'm so glad we started talking more,, not to be sappy but you're a literal ray of sunshine in my days when I talk to you. ok i love you

13. How was your birthday this year? Pretty fun! We had a picinc at the park with my friends and I got to eat some good cake :) Didn't cry this year wich is an achievement (yipee)

14. Favorite book you read this year? Oh Gideon The Ninth hands down. I jumped head first into tlt and I don't regret anything (currently working on a Harrow cosplay too!!)

18. A memorable meal this year? Oh I got a real stupid one for this. My bf and I went on a trip to Italy this summer and on our last day we were eating outside and we had?? a french youtuber stumble and almost fall RIGHT beside our table it was such a weird moment of recognition I was stunned because?? is this who I think it is that almost ate shit right beside me?? in Italy of all places???? And when I asked my bf if he recognized the guy bc I wanted to be sure of who I saw, he didn't even know him.

19. What’re you excited about for next year? Seeing Ghost again lmao. Also getting more tattoos!

20. What’s something you learned this year? Kinda learned to set better boundaries! It's helped a lot to be able to protect myself and not let people walk all over me, and being able to communicate in a healthier way when ppl I care about are hurting me and not realizing it

21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? Umm acquired more trinkets and Miku figures lmao,, Oh I also reorganized my print wall but other than that not much has changed!

22. Favorite place you visited this year? Edinburgh for suuuure I really fell in love with the whole city but the castle was especially beautiful

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one Yeah I made a few new characters for my graduation portfolio :^) I don't want to spoil too much so I'll briefly talk abt Josué! He's a member of my main cast of monsters and he's a cool guy with 4 arms ans that's all you'll get for now!! I'll post about them all when I make full illustrations hehe

#🦷.txt #long post

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shitishouldnotbepostingonline · 9 months

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Unromantic

Bro really thought he could just ask.

One of my more lighthearted "men are pigs" stories. For a little background, I went to a small school and grew up in a small town my entire life. Everyone knows everyone. My school was an elementary k-6 and high school 7-12. Yes 17 year olds dated 12 year olds. Yes it was creepy. No that is not this story. My class was only about 35 people and the classes above us were around the same.

Small schools have a lot of dances and usually would raise a good bit of money for whatever club needed money. We had a Hawkins dance, Halloween, homecoming, Christmas, valentines, spring and prom. I know I'm missing one but every other month there was a dance. When I was in middle school, it was a big deal. Who you going with, should we sleepover after, should we get pizza before, can you wait for me by the door so I don't have to go in alone because I'm having a panic attack that I over dressed because what the fuck do you wear to a casual dance at 13 and my dad is dropping me off early so he can have a break, can your mom do my hair. Fun fun fun times. Most importantly, drama. A huge night for drama. Miss one dance, miss all the gossip. Miss one dance, your crush might have started dating someone else. Miss one dance, your an outcast for at least the next week of school. I never missed a dance. Commonly you would find me A. dancing B. consoling in the bathroom or C. gossiping. I'll admit I'm toxic, I know and especially in middle school I was horrible. I was a horrible person who was going through horrible things blah blah blah. Every teen sab story. We all did it. I wasn't the worst but wasn't the best either. Life was about being popular, having friends and especially a boyfriend.

So, one of these dances is coming up. It's the homecoming. One that you are definitely supposed to have a date to. I'm single, actually thinking about it, I think this time period was the longest I've been single ever. I'm single and chat up this guy a grade above me. Let's call him Mark. We share a study hall together and Mark's definitely not popular but he is older then me which will give me points on the invisible popularity scale. My first impression was he's kind, funny and dorky so we spark a friendship. We start talking on kik (rip) and everything is normal to a 14 and 15/16 year old texting in the early 2010's. He's a bit odd and talks to me a little weird. I would later on recognize this as misogynistic but I was 14 and it was a different time. Fast forward to the week leading up to the dance and I'm dropping mad hints that I want him to ask me. I was freaking out that I had no one to go with. I was in between friend groups and was kind of at my first "big depression" period. He finally agrees to go with me (I don't think he ever actually asked). I definitely wore him down with constant texting and always saying hi when we passed in the hall. I think the worst part is I didn't like him. I just felt like I need a boyfriend for the attention everyone gives you once you start dating.

We decided (I decided) to go to the dance together. We make a plan and Mark changes it last minute saying he's not going unless I meet him at his house so we could walk together. Mark also made it a point to mention he was home alone. Cool fine no red flag there. At least not to my 14 year old dumb fuck self. The problem being my dad is bring me. Dad doesn't know I have a date. Dad doesn't know this kid and is not going to like that Mark wants me to go over to his empty house. So what do I do? I just didn't fucking tell my father. Waited for dad to leave. Then walked on over to Mark's place. Dumb yes, but if you want to understand how I was raise by people who are hands off or overly trusting/don't care that would take 37 page thesis paper.

I find Mark's house and at this point the dance has started. Did I mention he had the tickets so even if I refused to go over I would not be able to get into the dance. It's cold, I'm in a dress, heels, and I come from a place where it fall is 40° at night. Anyways I knock on the door and he yells for me to come in. When I say that womanly instinct sent red flags off throughout my whole body, I'm not kidding. Rightfully so. I was lying about where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I was terrified. I go in the house and shut the door behind me. We just kind of stare at each other until I break the overwhelming silence with a

"are you ready to go"

In which he responds

"a yeah but do you want to chill here for a bit"

Me, confused because I just spend hours getting ready and had a plan of action laid out in my head says

"I mean the dance already started"

This kid, props to how much guts it probably took, asks me

"well I was hoping you would let me eat you out first, then we'll head over".

The only thing I picture now is him hyping himself up all day to ask me that but at the time it was a different feeling. I can not describe in words what the hell was going through my mind. Like what? You can just ask that? Did he just ask that? Like he wants me to just what lay on his bed as he eats me out???? We haven't even kissed, held hands, nothing was leading me to believe that we had reach that level of intimacy. We are not even dating. I do what most women would do in that situation and play it off as he's just joking. I laugh and say let's go in a lighthearted voice. But no he doubles down. I remember think Jesus Christ please stop you are ruining any chance of anything happening.

"So is that a no"

How do I respond with out sound like a dick but also not agreeing because this kids is persistent. So I say as simply and as nicely trying not to embarrassing him

"Oh um I'm not really into that. I was hoping we could just go to the dance"

Then the most awkward walk of my young adult life happened. We did like 2 or 3 slow dances together but I spend most of my time consoling a friend in the bathroom. He tried to kiss me before I left but I think I dodged it with a hug.

So what do you think happened next? I have to see him everyday and we texted like constantly. He may of even apologized for being weird. Friend zone? Ghosted to the best of my ability? Told everyone what the fuck that kid asked me? No no and surprisingly no. I kept it to myself for quite a bit. It felt like to much for me to process at that time to tell anyone. We ended up dating for 2 weeks. Worst 2 weeks of my life. I underestimated just how much people disliked him and was starting to get laughed at for being with him. Which I would take if I actually liked him at all. As soon as we started dating the only thing he talked to me about in study hall was his dick. I mean like hyping it up for me. Acting like I was going to drop my yoga pant right there and just jump on him. I made it 2 weeks and the second week was just because I didn't know how to break up with him. Which I did in person. First time I've ever broken up with someone in person. It was mean yes but all this kid did was talk about his dick for 40 minutes a day. I bluntly said

"I'm not going to do this anymore. You just keep talking about your dick and it weirds me out. So I'm breaking up with you"

That was that. Didn't ever really talk to him again. We weren't on like bad terms but not good ones either. He did date a girl younger then me for a hot minute but other then that I do not think he dated anyone else while we were in school. My mom said she saw Mark an said hi but that was years ago. I still have him on socials and he's been popping up recently which is what inspired me to share this tidbit. I hope he is a bit more romantic in the bed room for who ever he ends up with.

I know I am to blame and I was cruel for potentially leading him on. I take responsibility for my part of being a fucking asshole when it came to petty shit like being popular or seen so by your peers. Funny thing was about this time I start having a new group of friends who were the more "outcast" type. Eventually they would be my friends for the rest of high school. I would blow up every single one of those friendships slowly until graduation. Probably doing permanent damage to all of our mental health along the way. I am not the good guy. In most my stories I have, especially from high school, I am just as much the villain as victim. I know that. If I could go back in time and have a chat with myself, I would. Live an learn.

#sisnbpo #shitishouldnotbepostingonline #unromantic #high school #shitpost

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envysnest · 9 months

Text

Snakeskin (Sephiroth/Reader) (ch. 6/?)

AO3 / Pillowfort

Rating: Explicit

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13

Tags: First Time, Reader-Insert, Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Frank Discussions of Past Rape/Abuse, Everyone is Queer, Canon-Compliant (if you squint), Pre-Crisis-Core Seph, Slow Burn, i continue to disappoint my friends and family, sephiroth is a virgin and in this essay i will, Reader is a Cis Woman, fluffy sex, Praise Kink, Gratuitous Biochemistry

Summary:

You are a young biologist, fresh out of graduate school, working in Shinra's R&D Division under Professor Hojo. You had long since given up on finding a partner and starting a family, preferring instead the company of your cell samples and your scientific instruments.

As the conflict in Wutai worsens, you strike up an unexpected friendship with a First Class SOLDIER.

(Sephiroth/Reader Slow Burn)

TW's for this chapter: Drankin'/alcohol.

---

Almost all of your closet was in piles on your bed. You held up a pink blouse and stared at yourself in the mirror.

A few years ago, you jumped at the chance to mark your body as yours. Tendrils of the Lifestream climbed up your belly, over your sternum, between your breasts, flowering to life over your ribcage. The tattoo artist chose a vibrant green ink that seemed to glow against your skin. A matching tendril of vines and flowers climbed up your left arm from cuff to elbow. The pain of the needle had been exquisite, tearing you open from collarbone to groin in a baptism.

You usually buttoned your collared work shirts up high enough to hide the tattoo. Some of your blouses threatened the tattoo's edges, but unless someone looked closely, they wouldn’t be able to tell you had tattoos at all.

You swapped the blouse for a turtleneck. Even so, you didn't need high-level executives asking awkward questions about what it meant, or if tattoos hurt. Worse still was Hojo himself: he didn’t need any more excuse to cut you off at the knees. No, best to wear the turtleneck.

You nodded in satisfaction and turned from the mirror. It was already 7 PM; you were running late.

The honeybee charm felt leaden in your back pocket. You hadn’t bothered to wrap it: Sephiroth needed to understand that this was not a gift, but a simple repayment of earlier kindness. A favor for a favor.

After this party, you could be alone again.

---

The 63rd-floor cafeteria was bustling. Meager streamers dangled across the floor-to-ceiling windows; cardboard snowflakes drifted along the glass. An enterprising intern had tied gold balloons along the stairway leading up to the employee lounge. Grating holiday music blared from the jukebox. Already, the space was packed with administrators, scientists, engineers, and others across all of R&D. Judging by the volume, most everyone was tipsy and intent on getting sloshed.

You gave your coat and bag to the (overly-enthusiastic) coat check attendant and scurried through the crowd. No sign of the 1st-Classes yet. You waved feebly at the few people who greeted you.

Hojo was holding court by one of the windows. You opted instead to scale the staircase. The open bar and refreshments tables came into view, and you sighed in relief. The crowd was sparser up here, less peppered with people you recognized. If you managed to hide up here, you wouldn't have to make nice with anyone you didn’t want to see.

Without thinking, you snatched a glass of champagne off of the bar and took a swig. It was heady, expensive stuff, airy in your throat as it went down. You nursed your champagne as you walked the seemingly endless food table: a cheese plate with more offerings than you could name; a selection of fruit; endless varieties of sushi; tiny vegan sliders with company flags on red toothpicks. An ice sculpture of the Shinra logo dominated the table, swimming in a bowl of red punch that reeked of sake even from where you were standing. An enormous sheet cake sat at the end of the table amongst the desserts:

35 YEARS OF EXCELLENCE SHINRA R&D

It already had generous portions sliced out. Evidently, you had missed some opening ceremony.

“Professor!” A warm hand landed on your shoulder: Lazard in a light-up reindeer sweater. “Glad you could make it.”

You smiled. “Sir.”

He gestured towards your glass with his own. “Already filled up, I see. Smart girl.”

There was a foolproof script you followed at company events: be more excited than you actually were, drink more than you wanted to, and don’t talk work. You smiled gamely, lifted the champagne. “It’s the best part of being here, right?”

“Agreed.” The two of you clinked glasses. Lazard gestured towards the food table. “Eat, drink, be merry. Don’t let me keep you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Someone shouted for Lazard towards the sofas on the other end of the lounge, and Lazard drifted away. You sighed in relief and took another gulp of champagne.

The paper plates were laughably tiny; you could barely squish three cubes of cheese and a couple of crackers together. Someone had opened up the outdoor balcony; winter air danced around your shoulders as you browsed. Outside, you could hear people laughing, smell the acrid tang of cigarette smoke. You popped a cheese cube into your mouth.

A furor erupted downstairs; half the lounge rushed down the staircase. You retreated into the shadows.

There they are.

Applause and shouting greeted the 1st-Classes downstairs. You picked at the cheese on your plate, your champagne going lukewarm in your hands. Maybe, while everyone was occupied, you could go see what they had on offer for sushi before it got too warm.

As you picked through the food table, the crowd moved up the staircase, murmuring with excitement. You willed yourself not to turn around, becoming very interested in a spicy tuna roll. Just play nice, you thought to yourself. One hour, then you can go home.

Thankfully, the crowd seemed to disperse upon hitting the lobby. Several other people joined you at the food table: other scientists, some 1st-Classes you had never seen before. Yun clapped you on the back, causing you to lurch forward and nearly drop the dragon roll you had picked up; by the time you set it on your plate, he had disappeared into the crowd, his husband in tow. You gulped the last of your champagne and made for your secluded corner.

Sephiroth’s voice cut through the roar of the crowd: “Hey, you.”

His black sweater looked just this side of too tight on his frame; without the pauldrons, he looked much smaller, almost manageable. His hands were bare; he rubbed them together against a blast of cold air from the balcony.

“Hi.” You put the empty champagne glass on a side table, where a nameless waiter immediately whisked it away. Sephiroth’s eyes followed it.

He cleared his throat and gestured after the waiter. “Need a refill?”

A trick question. You glanced behind him, at the drink table. The adoring crowd had decided to disperse just before this exact moment, leaving you to fend for yourself. Near the balcony, Zack was chattering away to Angeal, who looked less than interested. Genesis was engaged with a gaggle of women from engineering.

Was Sephiroth the type of man to spike a drink?

You grimaced. Every instinct in you told you not to accept drinks from other men, no matter how friendly. The shoulder-to-shoulder cluster of people in the lounge wouldn’t make you safer; if anything, it would provide him with cover.

You looked back at Sephiroth. He blinked at you, one hand still pointing towards where your champagne glass had been. How long had you been standing there, thinking this over?

“Yes,” you said. “I would love that.”

He seemed to deflate with relief. “Don’t go anywhere.”

You craned your neck to watch him go. The swarm parted like water to let him pass, a few employees looking up with adoration in their eyes. The bartender almost fell over themselves to pour him a fresh glass of champagne. Sephiroth smiled and pointed towards you, saying something imperceptible.

When the attendant followed his hand, they looked straight through you. You shrunk back against the wall. Even with Sephiroth’s influence, you were invisible: just a nobody, unworthy of his attention.

Focus. Watch the drink.

You shoved the entire dragon roll into your mouth and put the plate aside. The bartender reached into a forest of clean champagne glasses, seemingly at random, and poured a fresh glass of champagne from the same bottle. You exhaled slowly.

Again, the crowd parted to let Sephiroth through. When he was within reaching distance, however, the crowd snapped closed: back to its impenetrable, tipsy chaos. For all you could tell, you may as well have been alone.

He leaned in as he handed you the glass. “Necessary provisions.”

You took it gratefully. When Sephiroth turned to examine the crowd, you wafted the glass under your nose: yes, that was champagne, seemingly untampered with. You took a small sip, and the alcohol exploded into light on your tongue, the same as the last glass. You were safe.

Your voice was hoarse when you spoke. “I think this is nicer than anything I could ever afford.”

Sephiroth snorted. “You are criminally underpaid.” He gently shouldered his way to the wall and leaned against it with you. You shied away, putting a hands-width of distance between the two of you. If he noticed, he didn't seem to mind. “What do you usually drink?"

You took another sip of champagne. His attention felt too bright, like an underplate sun beaming directly at you. From across the lounge, you heard Zack’s tittering laugh. “Just, um. Whatever’s on sale? I don’t know.”

Sephiroth didn’t respond to this. You fiddled with the glass stem and continued. “I used to want to like, drink for a living.” Oh, that sounds awful. You felt him turn back to you, and you waved your hands. “I-I mean. I wanted to like, use my degree to brew alcohol.”

He laughed, low and sweet. You felt warm, or was that the champagne? You couldn't afford to get drunk here. “How interesting. Anything specific?”

“I, uh.” You looked up. He was leaning towards you; you could count the freckles on his nose. You looked away. “I kind of wanted to work on a vineyard.”

“You probably would’ve gotten more sunshine there.”

You honked with laughter and covered your mouth. “I would give anything to just, like. Run away sometimes.” Bubbles crawled along the sides of your champagne glass; you watched them go. “Like, join the circus, without actually joining the circus. You know?”

Zack’s voice came from somewhere around the cheese selection. “Smile!” The flash of a camera phone went off in your peripheral; you squinted. Sephiroth seemed unfazed.

God, but he was close. You weren’t this interesting. There was no way. You braced yourself for the inevitable up-and-down, the leering look, the step closer--

He cleared his throat and nodded. “I do know. I…” He looked away, seemed to roll the words around in his mouth for a moment before thinking better of it. “…do know that feeling.”

When he turned to you, his eyes were wide, searching. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so boyishly young. You clutched your champagne glass to your chest like a shield.

Sephiroth’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and— curse you— you looked. He opened his mouth. “You look—“

“There you are.”

The two of you turned at once, and your stomach dropped. Hojo was stomping towards you. Unlike Sephiroth, he had to push and shove his way through the crowd, sending people stumbling. Some openly glared at him in his wake.

“Professor—“ you started, but a wall of muscle blocked your vision.

Sephiroth, casually, almost imperceptibly, had stepped ahead of you.

At first, it seemed as if Sephiroth had merely stepped towards Hojo; you knew better. From Hojo’s knowing grin, he knew it, too. You hazarded a glance up; Sephiroth’s warm demeanor from earlier was gone, replaced with a cool, stony neutrality.

When he spoke, his voice was like ice. “Hojo. I was just about to step away and go look for you.”

Hojo switched his champagne glass to his other hand and pointed to you, peering up at Sephiroth. “I was hoping to speak to my employee.”

“I’m afraid your employee’s not feeling well at the moment.” Sephiroth crossed his arms and looked down his nose at Hojo, who laughed.

“What, is she your pet?”

You stepped forward. “I’m alright, Seph. What is it, Professor?”

The two men stared at you in shock: Sephiroth, looking like you had slapped him, and Hojo, looking as if he had just won the largest teddy bear at the carnival.

Your heart pounded in your chest. You hadn’t meant to say that aloud: it was just how you referred to him in your mind. It wasn’t a pet name, surely not, just a way around his long name, Sephiroth, a mouthful at the best of times—

“Say your peace,” Sephiroth said to Hojo, but he didn’t step aside.

Hojo straightened his glasses. “It’s quite confidential.”

“We’re in the same department.”

You raised your voice above them: “Professor, what was it you wanted?”

Hojo scowled. “I merely wanted to ask after your protein pull-down. Any luck?”

Of course Hojo would want to talk work during a party off-hours. You put on your most polite, work-friendly smile. Above you, Sephiroth rolled his eyes and looked away. “It seems to like glucose receptors,” you bit out, “but we won’t know until we repeat the pull-down in triplicate.”

Hojo seemed pleased by this and took a sip of champagne. “Well. And what repetition are we on?”

“The second one,” you replied, resisting the urge to grit your teeth as you said it.

“Very good, Doctor.” Hojo put his free hand behind his back and smiled up at Sephiroth. “See?” He patted Sephiroth on one broad arm. Sephiroth didn’t respond, eyeing him warily. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

A random engineer slung his arm around Hojo’s shoulders and, before you knew it, he was whisked away.

Sephiroth turned to you. “Are you alright?”

You couldn't look away from where Hojo had touched Sephiroth. He was like a god, and Hojo...

Hojo didn't care.

Your mouth twisted. You shook your head. “Yeah. Why?”

He huffed and tipped the champagne down, swallowing the entire glass in a few swift gulps. As he set down the glass, he said, “I’ve seen what he does to his employees. I’m just concerned for you.”

“What does that mean?”

But Sephiroth was already walking away. His hair fell in his face, obscuring his expression from you.

The memory of the bee in your pocket hit you like a bullet train.

Now or never.

“Seph. Wait.”

He started. There was no way he had heard you over the din of the crowd, even with his superior hearing; you couldn’t shout that loudly, and anyway, why would he care what you had to say? He surely had better places to be.

And yet, miraculously, he turned to you, something gentle in his face you didn’t recognize. “Yes?”

You stuttered and reached into your back pocket. You had to do this quickly, or else you’d never work up the nerve. You couldn’t afford not to settle the score.

“I, um.”

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. Your pulse rang in your ears.

Now or never. Now or never.

You bit the inside of your cheek and thrust the honeybee towards him. “For you.”

He reared backwards as if the charm was a piece of live materia. For a tense second, he stared at your hand, surprise etched into every line of his face. You shifted from foot to foot.

When he spoke, it was soft, wondering, just loud enough to be heard over the din of the crowd: “You made that?”

“Y-yes. It’s got, um…” You reached behind the charm and pulled on the tiny chain behind its abdomen. Sephiroth started violently as it spread its wings with an audible click. “I t-th-thought of you? When you said the-- the bracelet was p-pre-pretty and, well.” You shook it at him. “Happy holidays?”

“You…?”

Sephiroth reached out, and tenderly (ever so tenderly) he took the charm from you. Your bare hands brushed, and you felt yourself rock forward onto your toes, as if there was an invisible string in you, some live wire he had tripped. That was right, you had to tell him that you were unavailable, but—

But you couldn’t. Not when he cradled the charm so close to his chest, not when he tilted his head as he examined it like a newborn.

“Thank you,” he said, and when he looked up at you, he grinned. The bridge of his nose crinkled with joy.

Oh, you couldn’t.

On the contrary:

You had it bad.

It felt like your limbs decided not to work all at once. You leaned back against the wall to steady yourself, trying to look as casual as possible when you were this close to passing out. “I added a pin back,” you said, and oh, he actually turned the charm over to look. “It locks, so. You can. Put it on stuff, I don’t know.”

He looked over his shoulder. The party whirled on around you two.

When he turned back to you, he nodded. “I’ll wear it under my uniform.” He tapped his right pectoral, just over his heart. “Right here. If I lose it, you get a free punch. Sound fair?”

“A free—” You sputtered. “Oh my God! No! I wouldn’t do that!”

His nose crinkled again. “I’m completely serious.” He put the charm in his front pocket; you didn’t miss how his hand lingered over it, as if he would lose it if he didn’t touch it. “One free punch.” He held up one finger. “I’ll hold you to it, Professor.”

Your cheeks hurt; you were smiling, you realized, so much it made your eyes water. It had to be the champagne. “Fine,” you said. “One punch. Deal.”

He turned away from you. “The bet’s on.”

You watched him melt into the crowd. Your champagne had gone warm again.

---

THE INTERLOPER RETURNS! Dear members of the Silver Elite, Surely you all remember the mysterious woman who sat with Sephiroth at that board meeting? She has been spotted again, just in time for the holidays! The two were inseparable at Shinra’s holiday party. Inside sources tell us only high-level scientists and executives were allowed— along with 1 st -Class SOLDIERs and their guests, of course. Though our beloved angel entered and left alone, the two were spotted canoodling at the snack table by themselves. Could Sephiroth’s time alone be finally over????

There was an envelope on your desk Monday morning. You shrugged off your winter coat and draped it over the side of your cubicle wall. Just like the first envelope, there was no return address or any sign of the sender: just your name and office number, typed, on a sticky label.

You sat down in your chair. Inside this envelope was a five-million gil invoice for mako supplements. SOLDIERs had pre-allotted doses of mako sent to them in glass bottles; the amount varied based on R&D’s experiments (or the whims of upper management). Dosage instructions were printed on the bottom in bold, terrifying font:

REFRIGERATE UNTIL READY TO USE ONLY DRINK 1 BOTTLE PER DAY. SIGNS OF MAKO SICKNESS INCLUDE: LOSS OF APPETITE, LETHARGY, HIGH BLOOD SUGAR, SEIZURES, MUSCLE WEAKNESS, AND LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. IF YOU FEEL WOOZY, DON'T WAIT: CALL YOUR SUPERVISOR!!!!

A blue postcard peeked out between the second and third pages. You shook it out onto the desk.

THE JUNON CANNON. The blue, endless ocean stretched out beyond the golden cannon. The sun was high in the sky; seabirds flew in formation in the distance. The photograph had been taken from the very tip of the cannon; below it was a fifty-foot drop onto the cliffs.

You turned the postcard over. The same elegant, looping scrawl dominated the left-hand side of the card:

This is an older postcard. Forgive me, but I’ve always wanted someone to send it to. I’ve scaled the cliffs below this picture a few times. The gulls like to nest in-between the rocks. The cannon itself is hard to look at, especially with the ocean looking so beautiful underneath. I daydream about it falling into the water forever. Maybe that’s my ‘run away and join the circus.’

“Professor?”

You shoved the card back into the invoice, heart pounding. How long had Marcie been standing there, watching you read this postcard?

Marcie was too short to look at you over the cubicle wall, preferring instead to peek around the corner at you, one brown eye and a delicate hand barely visible. She had her trademark nervous frown.

“The samples are gone again,” she said.

You pressed your fingers to the bridge of your nose. “Again?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not you,” you sighed. “I know who took them.” Hojo. Again.

“Do you want me to look at 029's cells instead?”

“No,” you snapped. Marcie jumped; you kicked yourself for frightening her. In a softer tone, you added, “No, I’ll do it later. Can you just get me the data you took last week?”

Marcie shuffled past you into her cubicle. “I still need to process it.”

“That’s fine. You spend the morning doing that. No rush.”

You pulled up the Shinra instant-messaging app and clicked on Hojo’s name.

>> Did you need 017’s lysate?

Hojo’s reply was instantaneous:

>>Yes. We took a few of 017’s cells from cryo as well. Will that be a problem?

A chill ran through you. Could Hojo have seen J - 180 - L - 9177? Could he tell you had messed with his samples?

Hojo’s icon blinked on the screen, awaiting your response. You typed:

>>No problem at all. We’ll push to tomorrow.

>>K.

You slouched forward and pressed your forehead to your crossed arms.

---

When the SOLDIERs returned from their latest mission, the lab emptied out. You looked up from your laptop as everyone rushed outside to the 60th floor escalators.

When you saw Sephiroth ascend the escalator in the window, you stood up so quickly the blood rushed from your head, and you steadied yourself on the bench. His usual crowd of admirers swarmed him. As he bent down for what you assumed was the five millionth selfie he had had to pose for that day, you wandered over to the windows, arms crossed around yourself.

When he straightened up, he craned his neck towards the lab windows, searching. You caught his eye.

The two of you stared at each other over the crowd. You lifted a hand and waved.

A smile tugged at Sephiroth’s lips, and he turned away. His hand moved to his chest and tapped the space over his heart. To any onlooker, it would have been a simple, throwaway gesture: nothing more exotic than an itch or a minute adjustment of his coat.

You gasped despite yourself, and just like that, he was gone: back into the throng of fans, back into the mob, away from you.

---

When you looked up from your RNA samples, the lab had emptied out completely. You checked your watch and groaned when you saw the time: 6:29 PM. You had promised yourself you would go home at five today; you had gotten lost in your work again, and the cells didn’t even need feeding or dosing. You wiped your forehead against your shoulder. Beyond you, the 60th floor was empty, some of the motion-sensitive lights already going dark.

As Shinra drew closer and closer to the holidays, the building became emptier and emptier. You had noticed several of the cubicles sitting empty that morning. This late, you usually saw a few stragglers, middle managers and overworked interns, talking in low voices on their way to the escalators or staring blankly at their phones. The quiet of the lab pressed in around you.

Sephiroth hadn’t approached you since returning from his last mission days ago. You tried not to take it personally: he was likely exhausted and in need of sleep. Lazard may have even shuffled him to another mission. You ejected a pipette tip and capped the tube of RNA, gently inverting it back and forth between thumb and forefinger to mix its contents.

He seemed more a show pony than a man: always observed, always in demand. You couldn’t stop thinking about that tired, resigned look in his eyes when he was in the middle of a crowd. He had seemed so happy when he saw you watching him.

The door to the lab opened. Speak of the devil.

You turned in your chair. “You’re—“

But the person at the door was not Sephiroth.

You stopped mid-word, still holding your RNA tube.

Genesis kicked the lab door shut behind him. “Professor,” he said. The smile on his face made you feel cold.

“It’s past six,” you called to him. “Everyone’s gone home.”

He tucked his hands behind his back, that satisfied smile only growing wider. “I saw the light on,” he said. "Is now a good time?"

Something in your mind was itching, clawing against the walls, screaming at you to Get out, leave immediately, it’s not safe, you’re not safe. You watched in horror as Genesis proceeded to ignore you, taking a slow walk against the lab windows. The click of his boots seemed overly loud against the instruments droning on in the background. You drew a mental map between yourself and the lab doors. Could you even outrun a 1st-Class?

You forced yourself to set the RNA tube down in its rack before you dropped it. “Did you need something?” you asked, and you hated the tremble in your voice.

Genesis pursed his lips and shook his head. “I just wanted to visit,” he said.

“You can come back during business hours. It’s just me here.”

“Actually,” he drawled, “you are the woman I wanted to see.”

You stared at him as he made his way slowly towards you. He seemed to move like smoke around the islands dotting the wide open lab: a dark parallel to how Sephiroth had moved through the holiday party. You felt stuck to your chair.

“Have we met?” you asked; your voice cracked on the last word: m-y-et.

“Where are my manners?” He stopped ten feet away and bowed, long coat sweeping across the tile floor. “Genesis Rhapsodos, 1st-Class.”

“Okay,” you said softly. “I’m—“

“I know who you are.” Genesis straightened and adjusted his gloves. That damned smile. “My good friend has many a nice word to say about you.”

You willed yourself to turn back to your samples. “You’ll have to remind me.”

“I think you and I are both aware.”

“Maybe.” You felt like you were going to throw up.

Genesis sighed. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched him cross his arms and lean against a lab bench, dangerously close to where you tested blood samples. “Sephiroth is distracted by you, you know.”

You reached for a fresh pipette tip. “Okay?”

He barked out a laugh. “‘Okay,’ she says. I know you two are becoming close.”

“We’re just…”

What were you?

You tilted your head just slightly. Genesis pounced on your hesitation:

“Just. Just what?”

“Just work acquaintances. We don’t really know each other that well.”

“Is that why he visits you nightly?”

“I…I don’t know why he does that.”

“You’re humble, aren’t you, Professor?”

You pressed your lips together and drew your RNA into the pipette tip.

“No wonder Sephiroth’s sweet on you.”

And suddenly, it felt like he had dumped a bucket of ice water on you. Your lungs collapsed in on themselves; practice and experience alone kept you from dropping your pipette.

“Excuse me?” you wheezed.

An expression of delight crossed his face. “You didn’t know?” Genesis seemed to dismiss that thought the second it struck him, and he scoffed. “Perhaps he isn’t as obvious in his affection. He’s usually very straightforward.”

Your mind spun. It took all of your self-control not to eject your sample onto the lab bench. You turned back to your tube and ejected the sample so violently that it splashed up the walls of the tube, nearly spilling over.

Genesis laughed when you swore under your breath. “Distracted, are we?”

You grit your teeth. “No.”

He leaned back against the wall and watched you work. You kept your head down, trying your damndest not to lose your sample from being flustered.

Genesis continued, “He’s not the most used to romance, unlike some of us. Several before you have tried and failed.” He looked up at the ceiling. “Sephiroth is truly a man committed to his work. I’m surprised at what he sees in you.”

“Genesis,” you snapped. Never mind that you could feel heat creeping up your neck; never mind that you were hunching further and further in your chair, trying to make yourself small. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I’m really stressed out here, and you’re distracting me.”

He continued as if you hadn’t spoken. “A mousy scientist and Shinra’s greatest warrior.” His voice was low. “Who would’ve thought you’d be the one to sway him?”

“Genesis.”

Genesis huffed and straightened up. “Well. I’ll leave you, if you wish.” He pressed a warm hand to your shoulder. When you stiffened in fear, you could see him smile in the reflection of the fume hood window. “If your work is so important, I’ll tell him to stop annoying you, Professor.”

“No need, actually,” you said, voice icy. You wanted to hit him: 1st-class-status and HR be damned. “I’ll talk to him.”

When Genesis refused to move, you added, “Alone.”

Genesis removed his hand. There was a warm impression left in its wake, even through your lab coat and blouse; you rolled your shoulder, trying to get rid of it.

It wasn’t until the double doors to the lab swung shut with a bang that you relaxed.

Sephiroth’s sweet on you.

You stared at the dozens of tubes in front of you, your meticulously organized lab notebook. Somehow, you could still feel Genesis’s warm hand on your shoulder, and bile rose in your throat. Sephiroth almost never touched you.

But the bill always comes due.

You screwed your eyes shut, opened them again. Yes, there were the tubes and the notebook, just the way you left them. You dropped your pipette and pressed your thumb to the inside of your hand. Your breath was shallow; dread welled up in you. Surely this was Hollander playing a trick— perhaps to undermine and cripple Hojo’s department? You knew Hollander and Genesis were friendly.

But Genesis was Sephiroth’s friend; his only friend, along with Angeal, if rumors were to be believed.

Why would Genesis humiliate his friend for political gain?

Why you?

Shouldn’t I be happier?

You looked up at the lab windows. Even without Genesis there, you couldn’t help but feel small. Helpless. Men like him were good at that.

When you picked up your pen, your hand was trembling.

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