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#feel free to elaborate or add things to this
borderlinereminders · 14 hours
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If it’s alright could I ask for a lil elaboration on They don’t have the energy to reply right now from your ignoring messages post? Does that mean like maybe they have depression or they are sick or smth else?
There could be any number of reason someone doesn't have energy! I personally find texting draining, but if I'm on my laptop and can type it's easier. I also much prefer a phone call with friends. It takes way less energy (at least with friends that are content and comfortable if it gets silent. My best friend and I "hang out" where we're on the phone and we talk a bit, but then eventually start doing our own thing while being on the phone together and occasionally mentioning something we've seen on our phone.)
Some possibilities:
They are sick
It's an activity that takes a lot of spoons they don't have
They've had an overwhelming day
They are feeling depressed/down/etc
They have a social battery that runs low
They just want to be alone (this is genuinely a thing. People used to be able to do this easily, but technology nowadays leaves some people thinking people are always available but... they aren't and deserve that alone space.)
(Many other reasons, anyone can feel free to add on.)
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r0semultiverse · 2 months
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piosplayhouse · 2 years
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MY FIRST ANON HATE!!!! 🥳🥳 Guys congratulate me Ive finally made it to the big leagues
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daz4i · 1 year
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wait i forgot i made a list of what major arcana fits every bsd character and wrote a whole explanation for my choices for atsushi. might as well post it bc i don’t think i’d write for the others any time soon
The Fool, The Moon
ok i’m ngl the fool is mostly bc i felt obligated to bc it’s his card in all the official tarot art, and he’s the protag. i will say he does start a new journey so there’s that, but at the same time i don’t think he’s a blank slate enough to be a good ol fashioned fool, he’s got too much baggage. 
but this is where the moon comes in! honestly, imo it’s perfect for him. 
on the surface level: anxiety - he’s got plenty - illusions - my boy and his literal hallucinations - and intuition, which is how he releases the tiger at first before even realizing he’s under the effect of fukuzawa’s ability. reversed, it is about the release of fear, which i’d argue is in part what his arc is about, as well as repressed emotions which he has to learn to let out. 
going deeper: the moon is essentially about projecting your fear onto your present and future, letting it get the better of you, something we see happens to atsushi often. it can be about being controlled by your fear, many times based on the past, which i doubt i need to explain here considering how obvious atsushi’s ptsd is. the moon can be a sign of distrust in yourself and beating yourself up, things which atsushi certainly doesn’t lack. 
also in a literal sense his ability is literally called beast beneath the moonlight lmao 
……i guess if i have to give the fool more credit in this context i’d say it’s about recklessness and innocence as well. i don’t think atsushi in innocent, but compared to the rest of the cast (except maybe kenji) he’s certainly the most likely to fall for tricks and see the world as filled with more light than it actually is, possibly due to simply being younger and lacking the life experience to know better, which i’ll admit is fool-like. his recklessness is more about his lack of thinking during battles, which becomes more obvious especially while he’s fighting alongside or against akutagawa (👀). 
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I love stonäthan and jañcy but for the narrative of the show I think they all have to end the show single depending on how long before the timeskip.
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chknbzkt · 2 years
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I’m still pretty busy with things but here’s some Strange Tides AU stuff below the cut
• Takes place in a world that basically split in two?? Like the continents shattered and pulled apart, forming on opposite sides of the world with numerous islands in between.
• Technology is pretty much long gone, and a looot of people died in the catastrophic event now known as The Shattering. People these days use wooden ships from days of old to get from place to place (metal is pretty scarce these days, you have to forage for it in old ruins or brave unstable caves to mine it). That said, because of sudden major drop in gas emissions the climate has jumpstarted recovering from the effects the previous populace had on it.
• On another note… the earth breaking the fuck apart also released a bunch of stuff once buried deep within. There’s a magic system of sorts, what with the newfound Lux vents that have opened up and drifted to the surface to be twisted and bent into various weapons, tools, and other things…
• But of course, the other one thing The Shattering unearthed is the Mer population that previously knew only the underground. Those guys are free now and a good few of them immediately were like >:O!!! and swam up to see the surface.
• The Down Below is essentially a rift, a primordial abyss were the funkiest, most monstrous Mer continue to dwell, not really eager to introduce themselves to the giant cancer ball in the sky.
•The first strain who left the Down Below looked every bit as Fucked Up as you’d think, but the Down Below is the reason they look the way they do. That place is a Lux-teeming moshpit that can twist and warp the bodies those who dwell in it for too long. It doesn’t bother the mental faculties of those who live there, but returning Mer may find themselves acting… out of sorts if they don’t do some exposure therapy before returning in full,,
• Surface Mer, meanwhile, are versatile creatures who freely and handily change from generation to generation depending on where they live. Those that frequent marshes and swamps tend to thrive in freshwater And seawater, as well as take on the features of fish species predominantly found there. I just want an excuse to make river dolphin Mer, okay
• On the other hand, coral reef Mer who migrate to kelp forests more often than not end up bearing offspring that sport features fit to live in kelp forests. A Marlin Mer can absolutely give birth to Leafy Sea Dragon Mer :)
• The sea amidst the equator is called the Flux, it’s the place where the most open (and unruly) Lux vents open up to be harvested. It’s also the new Arctica/Antarctica, the worlds turned topsy turvy as now the places where the poles should be? They’re hot and remote, while the equator is cold and snowy. A looot of stuff got flipped upside down when the world got scrambled like an egg,,
• In order to reach the people on the other side of the world, you have to go through there, and managing to brave not only the merciless weather and the caustic Lux exposure - but also some of The LARGEST and most RAVANOUS Mer you’ve ever SEEN - is a feat worthy of medallions, parades, and a lifetime supply of coconut rum 💀
• Probably a good time to mention that the more prolonged exposure to Lux, the larger a Mer becomes. Doesn’t matter the species. Imagine a Great White but they live near the equator. Christ 😭
• At this point in the timeline, the surface Mer have managed to establish a shaky relationship with some settlements, and those guys have started to turn their backs on their Down Below brethren. They’re the “Ugly Ones,” why should they sully their relationships with the nice humans that pamper them with free fish and unbothered habitats in return for helping them fish, navigate, and harvest Lux?? Pffffft fuck those guysss
• Those guys are assholes, which makes it harder for Below Mer to try and integrate themselves should the need arise when humans have zero qualms with slaying them should they cause problems. Big yikes 😬
Anyways that’s all for now, that’s the super dee duper basic layout for the setting, though there’s a bunch of details I haven’t fleshed out fully.
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buggyandthebartoclub · 9 months
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fucked up so hard forgot to eat enough today and was out in the heat and had a massive migraine after getting home 😭 just woke up from desperation nap trying to make it go away thank GODs it did, I never get migraines that was awful how do people cope w that on the reg
going to make sure my iPad charged and finish up a few things - expect an art dump tomorrow and some filthy shit I wrote during horny hours the other night 🫣🥵
there’s like 2 people waiting on a message back from me I’ll get to you before I pass out or in the morning - we’ll see how long I last before I pass back out 😂 thanks for being rad and so patient y’all are a blessing truly I love this fandom
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kandavers · 1 month
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Thoughts on lucifer/lilith/alastor or lucifer/lilith/eve in poly relationships? :D
Heh. (smug face) Do I have the ramble for you
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It's too long so I'll add a "keep reading" LOL
note: These are all IN MY HEAD, so welcome to my headspace! Feel free to have differing opinions! While I do stand on my opinions, I'd change them sometimes if I find other, more banger ones LOL
anyways,
Lilith (demiromantic bisexual, lean female)
Lilith is in a romantic relationship with Lucifer. Due to the demiromantic part, she doesn't have romantic attraction towards Rosie (yet), and I also think she had harboured romantic feelings towards Eve (however, I'm not very ready to unpack their relationships with Adam and Eve yet LOL, we'll save that for another time). I also read BIBLE LORE for this (help me), and it said that Lilith, in the past, had refused to be under Adam during intercourse, because she believed that she was his equal. Instead of being under him, she wanted to be on top for once, and this counted as 'disobeying Adam' which caused her to get exiled from Eden (?). There's more to this story that I'd rather not get into because it unfortunately paints Lilith in a horrible light (which is probably untrue, you know how the bible is with female figures who want rights-) but yeah! Relating to that, it would explain Lilith's preferrance for women, and also why she would definitely really dislike Alastor. However, Alastor makes Lucifer very happy, so she tolerates him for the sake of her husband.
And if you're wondering "if she dislikes men, why is she married to Lucifer?", think of it like this:
Adam would say, "Go make me a sandwich."
Lucifer would say, "Would you like me to make you a sandwich, my darling?"
Lucifer views her as his equal, if not someone of a higher position than himself. The king moves the pawn, but it's the Queen who rules the board, as they say.
Lucifer (panromantic demisexual)
He's deeply, utterly in love with Lilith, no matter what. In my head, I also thought of "loving styles" for these characters, but I have a more elaborate idea for Lucifer due to the fact that I'm biased LMAOOO- and I strongly believe that his loving style is Worship. It means once he's in love with someone, he devotes his entrie being to them. The 'them' in question is Lilith. Anything she wants, she'll have, anything she says, goes. He'd let the whole world burn for her.
Also he's kind of autistic and Lilith is his special interest but that's besides the point. Service husband.
Anyways, he's also in a queerplatonic relationship with Alastor. How this is possible is a little bit beyond me (I'm too lazy to think about it) but again, explaining what a QPR is, they're close friends who do things that are outside of society's norms for friendships. Like kiss on the lips or sleep with one another. They don't have romantic nor sexual attraction to one another, but they're free to do anything romantic or sexual to each other (with consent!!!) as they please. In my head, the main reason they're connected to each other is how they're almost on the same level, intelligence and power-wise, so they keep one another on their toes with the competition. It's about their thoughts, their conversations, their RIVALRY !!! Playful jabs, snarky remarks, barks and bites, you name it. But at they end of the day, they deeply care for one another. (Whether or not Alastor is with Lucifer for ulterior reasons depends on whether or not I'm having a good day that day /j)
And I think Lucifer and Rosie would be best friends. No kissing or sex involved since Rosie clearly likes his WIFE !!! BAHAHA- And Lucifer is totally cool with it, since he would want Lilith to be happy. He was cool with it when Eve was in the equation too (but this will be unpacked another day). They sometimes hang out on their own time, and exchange gossip about Alastor mainly. Rosie is very friendshaped I think Lucifer would be very comfortable around her.
Alastor (Aromantic Asexual)
First of all I think he would be intimidated by Lilith. In general, he respects women very much, but I also agree on the theory that the person who has Alastor on a leash is Lilith herself LMAO- She's a bit like him, tall, intimidating, charming, has a way with words, but BETTER. The only difference is probably the fact that she doesn't have to use violence to get her way (she probably makes Lucifer do it LOL), which makes her far more classy and elegant compared to every other Demon in Hell, and there is no way Alastor could compete with that.
Does he feel inferior to Lilith? Maybe.
And does he feel guilt when he's seeing Lucifer because of her? Also maybe. I'd like to think all of them are genuine in their relationship though, but if you're into the angst stuff, feel free to interpret it otherwise (I'm too lazy to come up with conflict ideas).
His relationship with Lucifer is pretty much Explained in the Lucifer section, but I'd like to add the fact that Alastor is a sex-positive asexual, which means whenever Lucifer is in the mood, he'd be down to indulge him sometimes. Also I'm well aware of his manipulative nature, and in the canon series, this whole relationship might as well be a plot to take over Hell in some way, but... out of all the smiles he's shown other people, the ones with Lucifer are most genuine :)
Rosie. Oh, don't even get me started on her. He loves her to the moon and back. She's his best friend in the world, whether it was when he was alive or in Hell. They kiss each other, yes, and they're comfortable enough to do other intimate things, but as for the question of whether or not they're sleep /sx with one another? No, and never. One is a lesbian, and both are asexual. Outside of Alastor's life as an overlord and Lucifer's partner, he's Rosie's partner, and they do things such as hunt people for sport and eat them.
Rosie (Lesbian Asexual)
Fell in love with Lilith the moment she laid eyes on her. This relationship isn't reciprocated (yet). I think Rosie's also a disaster lesbian and chokes up whenever she gets the chance to talk to Lilith. Would happily spend a lot of time with her, though. Lilith does most of the talking, understandably. I think Rosie is also a service ace. I just learnt about this term lately, feel free to look it up hehe
She has a very good relationship with Lucifer. Nothing much to say that I haven't said already. I need to explore their relationship more.
Alastor's her other half. He means as much to her as she does to him. She trusts and respects him, and would defend him with her life if it comes down to it. She also sees him as 'one of the girls', so they'd often find themselves at parties where he's the only dude there LMAO-
I'd have more to say about her if I haven't elaborated for paragraphs about her for Lilith, Lucifer and Alastor already, so yeah !
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onyourowndaisymae · 16 days
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𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒂𝒛𝒂 - 𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒚 𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏
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☆☆ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 & 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 ☆☆
hi again :) i'm joining other lovely fanfic writers with @ficsforgaza to help raise money for the folks in need in palestine. i'm proud to be banding together with the community on tumblr to help palestinians during this horrible time.
to participate, make a donation to a vetted fundraiser found on @ficsforgaza's page (aka, don't send me any money lol) and send me a screenshot (with your personal information removed) along with what you'd like to request to my ask box. please do not "double dip" aka use the same donation for several writers-- this is a fundraiser, after all! here is what a request looks like:
hello! can i sponsor your [INSERT FIC] fic? i donated $5 to gaza, here is the screenshot! thank you! [insert screenshot]
my pricing will be as follows:
★ sponsor-a-WIP: $1/100 words ★ drabbles: $2-3/100 words (elaborated below) ★ no money to contribute, but you want to support the cause? that's okay. sign a vetted petition from the @ficsforgaza page and send proof, and i'll add a sentence to a WIP of your choosing.
if you have any questions, feel free to take a look here on @ficsforgaza's page or reach out to me. be patient, i will work on these fics when i can. thank you so much for helping me raise money for a good cause ;)
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☆☆ 𝐖𝐈𝐏𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐫 ☆☆
★ pink pony club
on saturday nights, the lights at the fall dim as a performer takes stage. beauty, grace, taking the stage as music begins to trickle from the speakers for their performance. you're born naked, the rest is drag. how do the characters of obey me interact with this art form? are they a performer? an amateur? do they yearn for the spotlight or admire their own outfit from the shadows?
drag!au. bulleted fic/headcanons. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: one! sponsored word count: 0/500.
★ human!au x farming!au
a breeze travels through a small valley town. the spring is warm-- a perfect time for new beginnings. the moving truck pulls away from the small farm where you've been dropped off. this is your land now. to see it thrive, you must love and care for each inch. but first, you should probably introduce yourself to the local townspeople.
human!au and farming!au. heavily inspired by both harvest moon/stardew valley games and my mutual @misc-obeyme and their human!au. small paragraphs for each character. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: none.
★ obey me characters with earrings
accessories are a wonderful addition to any outfit. if the characters of obey me had their ears pierced, what sorts of earrings would they wear?
bulleted headcanons/fic. themes of x reader. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: none.
★ obey me demon brothers presenting you with a friendship bracelet in return
you presented the avatars of sin with a custom friendship bracelet to commemorate your growing bond. now, they're here to return the favor.
demon brothers x reader (platonic OR romantic, up to reader interpretation). revival of a long-dead series. bulleted fic. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: none.
★ the fall's private rooms (nsfw warning)
being a human in the devildom has left you with a certain... interest in demonkind and other fantastical creatures. but you're far too embarrassed to explore this fascination with anyone you know. the solution? an anonymous station set up in one of the fall's private rooms allowing you to fuck someone without knowing who they are, no strings attached. this set-up grows a bit more complicated, though, when word travels through the grapevine about the dirty things you're doing. the door closes to the room you're tucked away in, indicating someone is here to indulge you... but is that a familiar voice you hear on the other side of the wall?
nsfw. minors dni. obey me characters x reader smut. gloryhole dynamic. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: one! sponsored word count: 0/5000.
★ oc spotlight: introductions
the rules of the exchange program are simple: the celestial realm and the human realm both send three of their residents to the the devildom to experience hell's culture for an entire year. among the usual residents of purgatory hall, two new faces are seen wandering about. one, a straight-laced, fledgling sorcerer trying her best to explore the depths of the devildom's history and gain a grasp on her budding powers. the other, an angel born hard-of-hearing and further deafened by the celestial war with a penchant for beautiful artistic creations.
canon-divergent!au. x reader. introduction of two original characters. character profiles. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: none.
★ oc spotlight: vampire!au
vampirism is a strange affliction. it creates a recluse of the most social creature, driven from the sunlight and modern society into the shadows by bloodlust and misery. you are a human being who has recently become the source of blood for each of these two ancient vampires. how does your relationship with the evolve? do they grow to see you as more than a pet, or are you slaughtered for your insolence long before they remember your name?
vampire!au. ocs x reader (separate). full-length standalone fics. estimated length = unknown. characters completed: none. wc: 0. current sponsors: none.
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☆☆ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ☆☆
i'll be accepting drabble requests for the seven demon brothers and the dateables. drabbles are estimated to be ~500 words. they can be sfw/nsfw, tropes, fluff, etc. please specify what you'd like to see in this drabble, whether you only have a character in mind or a very specific scenario! (note: anon MUST be off for you to request nsfw, and you must be 18+).
since requests require a bit more work, i'll be pricing them at $2 per 100 words for sfw drabbles and $3 per 100 words for nsfw drabbles.
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do you want to support gaza and request fics for twisted wonderland? check out my other blog here
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waspsinyouryard · 1 year
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Alrighty gamers,
As a "reddit refugee" who has been on Tumblr for a year at this point and hopefully knows some stuff about how this website and its userbase operate (even though I haven't been on that frequently), here's what I have learned over the course of my time here that might be helpful to any redditors coming here (long bullet list incoming):
Absolute Basics
Apply a profile picture to your blog. It can be anything, but it needs to be there. If you have a default profile picture then you will probably be blocked on sight by almost everyone. It's not personal; you just look an awful lot like a bot.
Make at least 1 original post on your blog. It can be anything—from a long introduction to a random shitpost—as long as it isn't the sort of post that a bot would make. Maybe hold off on posting sexual gifs with a bunch of random unrelated tags for the time being.
Interaction With Posts
Likes on this platform are sort of like saving posts and comments on Reddit. They do add a note and they can be seen if you don't have your likes set to private, but they don't help spread the post at all and are most useful for later easy access.
Reblogs without added text or tags are mostly analogous to crossposting in function, although not in website culture. Instead, think of it more like taking a screenshot of a post somewhere else online and posting it onto your favorite subreddit of choice. Reblog things you find cool/funny/pretty/have something to add to/whatever frequently.
Comments on Tumblr are mostly like comments on Reddit. The biggest difference is that you can't have comment threads.
Posting (including reblogs)
Tag things when relevant. Especially tag topics that people might want to avoid, like bigotry or very long posts.
In your main text, say whatever it is you feel you want to say/add. If you're reblogging, this is were you put your hilarious zingers that will be forever immortalized by r/tumblr repost bots.
Tags are frequently used to elaborate or say anything that's not the main point of the post or reblog.
Interacting with other users
Don't be afraid to block people.
Don't be afraid to follow people. Following tags is functional, but following people that post things you are interested in is better.
If I'm leading anyone terribly astray, please feel free to add on to and correct this post
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bigshotautos · 4 months
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I really like your theory about Spamton basically haunting a mannequin after death. Have you ever touched upon the reaction from Jevil (or anyone, really) upon seeing the new Spamton? Especially considering Spamton isn't even aware he 'died'.
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^ how i think jevil's first sight of Spamton would go. i love this ask. this is referring to some headcanons I made a while back, I'll link it here for the one post and the general ghost spamton theory is linked in that one as well. Going to elaborate on it more under the cut for those interested + more art.
In general I think that people from Spamton's past wouldn't really care if they notice at all, since he wasn't in the business of making close friends with anyone. With the Addisons, in my interpretation he had a "weird co-worker" relationship with them, and while Addisons in general treated each other like potential business competitors that they had to make-nice with, Spamton is especially easy to single out for being visibly and temperamentally different. His altered, current state is something they'd feel at least uncomfortable by, but many wouldn't have been too close with him to begin with for them to talk about it with him directly. Would get whispered about between each other for sure, like we saw with them talking about Spamton after the NEO fight. It moves him from the "disgraced guy I used to know" category to the "actually unpleasant to look at or think about" territory. This goes for Swatch, Queen, and Seam (less so), who seem to buy heavily into the Lightner and Darkner dynamic, with Spamton corrupting the Lightner's dream being a strong taboo against what it means to be a Darkner.
As for what Jevil thinks, Spamton during the NEO fight is both a beautiful and horrifying display. Jevil at this point hasn't seen him in years since his imprisonment, and in their time apart Jevil has grown to find novelty in the cage that everyone else besides him is in since he's created huge emotional distance between him and the reality he lives in. Seeing the fact that Spamton had corrupted an abandoned dream of a Lightner and was causing so much chaos to the established order of the world would be exhilarating, but at the same time seeing that Spamton had accomplished this and still had his strings visible (and changed to a marionette puppet with no symbolic agency), it'd be a painful confirmation of his worldview that even Spamton, who deep down he still cares for, could never have been free.
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Jevil would think at first he'd just gone through some nebulous situation to change what he looks like, since ofc he himself has toy-like traits (arguable if that happened with Gasterfication or not), Seam is a plushie cat, and other Card Castle Darkners are based on toys, but feeling the lack of life combined with the symbolic body of Spamton would mean to him something bigger had went wrong. He wouldn't dare to bring it up in an empathetic way, stuck in his mindset that it doesn't matter, but it'd still hit a part of him he doesn't like to think still exists. It's something he gets over quickly, almost performatively going back to fucking with him and taking advantage of his fear for entertainment, but it didn't sit well at first.
To me, the fact Spamton "died" isn't really a huge deal, kind of like with the ghosts in Undertale where no one really cares they're just ghosts. They're just doing their thing. To me it'd be fine if neither of them find out what happened for certain, but it's something that adds Flavor to his character.
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godbirdart · 10 months
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Looking at your recent commissions, those backgrounds are soo pretty!! Do you have any tips for backgrounds? I always struggle with them :>
aAA many many thanks!!
backgrounds can absolutely be a struggle but they don't have to be! they just require a little more creative planning~!
whether it be a commission or a personal drawing, if I'm building an elaborate art piece i focus on establishing the background First.
the background is the stage for your character! planning the background first will make it easier to tailor the character's actions and how they interact with the environment around them.
planning the background first can be the difference between your character standing awkwardly front and center with the setting going on behind them, or actually participating in their environment.
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if i'm super stumped for background ideas, i browse stock image sites to get inspiration. sometimes it helps to doodle on an image to generate some ideas - kinda like you're playing with JPEGs like dolls.
that said - while i'm pinpointing WHAT i want to draw, i keep the ideas loose. i don't want to focus on the itty-bitty details until i've got the overall aesthetic and layout in mind, as i might get inspired to add something in later!
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THUMBNAILING
if you're planning a big piece it can be helpful to break it down into something bite-sized before you go all in and start lining or painting. these are "thumbnails" - fast little sketches that establish the scene in a way that doesn't consume a lot of time or effort. it's also great as a little perspective exercise as a treat.
here i decided i want to draw a character walking home in a back alley street. with these photo references in mind, i can plan a layout and how the character will act in the scene. is this a candid shot? are they posing cutely? are they looking down at us in a tense way? there are many ideas to be had!
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after you've chosen the layout / vibe for your idea, you can scale up your thumbnail to your preferred canvas size and start fleshing out the details. be sure to keep referring to your reference images to get additional ideas, such as storefronts, items, props etc!
3D MODELS
If you're trying to create a unique environment that photo references simply cannot help you visualize, 3D models exist! This gives you that ability to rotate / scale things for better visualization. Clip Studio has a vast catalogue of 3D models to download For Free that you can fiddle around with. i know there are many 3D builder sites out there as well, though i've never made use of them so i'm afraid i cannot recommend any off the top of my head. hell, you can even use the Sims game to design a setting and go from there!
also if anyone is going to come into my house and say 3D models are cheating: they are not. using a 3D model to better grasp an angle or get a better idea for perspective is not cheating. using 3D models to help plan the environment in your art is not cheating. they are no different than brushes; these are tools made to HELP YOU. use them!
PERSPECTIVE
perspective and angles can make a HUGE difference in the art piece. there's nothing wrong with static long shots! if that's what you want to draw, do it!! there's no right and wrong here!
but if you're finding your work to be a little robotic and stiff, slap an angle in there. consider an overhead view. these same techniques are applied to photography and film! nothing wrong with wide shots, but every once in a while it can help to throw in a dutch angle.
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if there is one note i'd like to leave off on, it's that your backgrounds do not have to be 100% accurate-to-life to be Good. unless realism is something you're really striving for in your style, don't feel compelled to nitpick every brick and leaf in your art. us artists can tend to over-prune our work until our art looks a little bare and soulless. flaws can give your work character, and that's often a lot more appealing than how accurate the scale ratio between background building A and building B are [again, unless you WANT to go for that realistic look then you can fuss over those details all you like].
i hope this helped a little! MY APOLOGIES FOR MAKING IT SO LONG AH
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ivoovu · 9 months
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Okay here‘s the promised list of German nicknames.
Feel free to Tag other German speaking characters if you repost , I could only think of König at the moment.
Masculine words will be in blue, feminine in red. Gender neutral in green. I also put a few swear words and general German language rules at the end, including why talking in gender neutral is impossible in German. I tried to explain everything as simply as I can.
And while I‘m at it, let me put it out that, even if it‘s super obvious, you can mix up the nicknames, so even if you have a fem reader you can use fem AND gn nicknames. It may be obvious but I still wanted to point it out.
12/12/23: I‘m gonna update this, re-word some things and add other nicknames, just so you know
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my (be)loved : mein liebster / meine liebste
my love/my dear : meine Liebe / mein Liebling
(however, if you were to say for example : „my dear y/n” the German translation would be : „mein lieber y/n / meine liebe y/n”)
In the same sense, "The Love of my life" would be: Die Liebe meines Lebens , even if the reader is masc. or fem. It‘s confusing, I know.
my treasure (a very German nickname) (and to a certain degree it means 'dear' as well) (you can also use it for 'honey'): mein Schatz. You can also use just 'Schatz', e.g. : „Schatz, kannst du das für mich holen?” (translation: "Dear/Honey, could you get this for me?")
baby (yea Germans use it too) : Baby/Babe
my bunny (albeit in English a very uncommon nickname, it is very common and normal in Germany) : mein Hasi / Hase / Häschen (i will explain the words with 'chen' at the end)
my angel : mein Engel / Engelchen
my bear (again I think a very uncommon nickname in English, but pretty common in German) (but I also have to mention that the nickname my bear is not something youngster use, it‘s more of a people in their 40's & 50's type of thing now) : mein Bär / Bärchen
you cutie : du süßer / du süße
you are cute : du bist süß
if you want to JUST say 'cute' or 'adorable', you can use one of these : süß / niedlich / knuffig (although knuffig is a extremely cute/adorable endearment and would most probably be used only in private) (and yes you can say „du bist niedlich / knuffig” if you wanna say 'you are cute‘ too)
a nickname that women use for their men or men for their men but rarely men for their women (probably because the men are usually the taller/bigger ones) is 'big one' (I will give the translation for the 'men for their women' regardless) : mein großer / meine große . This is mainly used when the one person is worried about the other person, e.g. : „Alles okay mein großer? Alles okay meine große?”, (translation: 'Everything okay, big one?')but I‘m sure it can be used in a normal and/or s3xual manner as well. I have also heard people call their dogs & kids „mein großer / meine große”, so do with it what you will.
little one: kleiner / kleines
To mirror the "Big one", you could also say little one, a different little one from the previously mentioned nickname. Because the "Big one" is actually "My Big One" so "My little one" would be : mein kleiner / meine kleine. I know it‘s a bit confusing but please bear with me. It‘s all about the situation. If, e.g., König says "Little one, sit down" you would write "Kleiner / Kleines, sit down". However, if in a situation he says sth like "My little one, are you injured?", the version w german words would be "Mein kleiner / Meine kleine, are you injured?“. Not that much difference except the fact that the fem version looses the s at the end, I just wanted to point that out.
good girl : gutes Mädchen (but technically you could also use : braves Mädchen)
good boy : guter Junge (other version would be : braver Junge) (to elaborate : brav means ‚well-behaved', but to translate good girl/good boy, both gut&brav can be used, so pick your fighter)
from here on out, I‘m gonna quickly translate a few nicknames which are usually not used in Germany but you can because at the end of the day it’s free game. And let me use this moment to clarify that even though all of these words are gender neutral, it is gender neutral towards the reader, that means the words themselves have a gender. But since the gender is not directed towards the reader but the gender of the other word, be it an object or living being, it is considered gender neutral. I‘ll try showcasing it with the first example.
my pearl : meine Perle (the word Pearl in German is Perle and it has a gender, it is feminine. However, when using it as an endearment or nickname, it is counted as gender neutral) (I previously mentioned the nickname 'my angel‘ and it is in the same category. Angel in German means Engel and it‘s masculine, but as an endearment it‘s gender neutral) (I could get into the why‘s and elaborate but I feel like it would cause unnecessary confusion).
my sunshine : mein Sonnenschein
my flower : meine Blume
my world : meine Welt
my one and everything : mein ein und alles
Okay I think I am done with the nicknames? If you have any specific nicknames you‘d like me to translate let me know. Also just an fyi but you can use all of the nicknames without the 'my' before it. Like, you can make a character call the reader just „Blume” or just „Engelchen”.
Now let me elaborate on 'chen‘ that‘s at the end of some words, like 'Bärchen', 'Häschen' or 'Engelchen'. Simply put, it cute-ify‘s the words. You have Bär (Bear) and Bärchen turns it into, loosely translated, 'little Bear'. The 'chen‘ at the end makes it sound more endearing and fitting for a lover, yk? You should also be aware that you cannot really add 'chen‘ to anything. I mean, of course, you could turn Regen (Rain) into Regenchen, grammatically it would be correct and it can be used as a nickname but no one would do that so it just stands out and is weird, you feel me? But hey if you wanna use that in your fanfiction, go ahead. German speaking folks will just raise their brow at it.
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Now onto the swear words. Some you‘ll be familiar with if you know König‘s Voice Lines, but I still added them nevertheless.
Fuck you : Fick dich
Fuck : Fuck (Yea we just took that over from the English folks…, don‘t use just „Fick” from „Fick dich”, it is a smart move but incorrect)
Shit : Scheiße
Kiss my Ass : Leck mich am Arsch (which translated actually means lick my ass but the translation for Kiss my Ass is still „Leck mich am Arsch”)
Son of a Bitch : Hurensohn
Daughter of a Bitch : Hurentochter (though Hurensohn has become gender neutral and the more commonly used one, so you can use it when your character just got hurt or is actually insulting someone, regardless of their gender)
Asshole : Arschloch
Bitch/Slut : Hure, Schlampe
Translated it means Dog, but it’s used like how you‘d use Bitch : Hund / Hündin (tho Hündin is more popular) (Hündin is a female dog but like Hurensohn, it has become somewhat gender neutral)
Idiot : Idiot, Blödmann, Schwachkopf (though I do have to mention that Blödmann and Schwachkopf (at least I feel like?) is mainly used by little kids while adults just stick to Idiot)
Just a few swear words. What‘s next on the Agenda? Oh right, simple German rules.
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Let me start off by explaining why gender neutral is so hard or impossible in German. To all of our writes here, you can ABSOLUTELY write a fan fiction, be it a 4 chapter type of thing or just a few bullet points, with a gender neutral reader if you stick to the gn endearments (could be from this list or some other). However, in real life, it works a bit different since you have to use other words to communicate with others. Let me explain it by using an example.
Someone who‘s a teacher would introduce themselves as "Hello, my Name is First Name Last Name and I‘m a Teacher". In German however, it is a bit different since the German word for Teacher is Lehrer & it means male Teacher. Female Teacher would be Lehrerin. There is no gender neutral Teacher, it‘s either Lehrer or Lehrerin. Same goes with anything else. Be it a Doctor (Arzt/Ärztin), Police Officer (Polizist/Polizistin) or a construction worker (Bauarbeiter/Bauarbeiterin). And yes, as you‘ve noticed, the female versions all end with a '-in', that‘s a good & easy way to recognize them. And even if you‘re not talking about Jobs, your gender and the other words' gender will change the way word are conjugated, and thus it makes it impossible to talk in gender neutral terms.
Next thing on the list is the way words are written. Just like in English, Names of people & places, food, nicknames etc. are all written down with the first letter being big, the rest being small. In the German language it does have a bit more importance than in English, since the difference helps us tell what is a place/person & what is a adjective etc. For example, we have this lovely sentence "In essen essen gehen." I just wrote that incorrectly so you could see my point. The correct way of spelling would be "In Essen essen gehen" (transl: Going to eat in Essen). Essen is a city but when written in small captions, it‘s the verb for eating. And don‘t get me wrong, most Germans can tell apart what word is the place/destination even if everything is written in small letters simply by the order of the words. And it‘s not like König fanfictions are all written in German, heck it’s always a few words which is FINE. So let me tell you that writing all German letters in small captions is FINE, us Germans still know what the hell is going on. This is just something I have noticed and thought I’d mention. But, again, if you write all in small letters it is not the end of the world, it’d only be 98% correct and there isn‘t really a German out there who’d be all "Aw gawd damn, they wrote all letters in small captions so now I cannot enjoy this work from the author anymore." Again, it‘s all cool, I just wanted to point it out. Stuff like nicknames, names, are all written in first letter being big. I have made sure to pay attention to that on my list.
📜🤎
I think I‘m done? I don‘t think I forgot anything. Again, if there are any specific nicknames, words or sentences you‘d like me to translate, hit me up. And I literally mean that, like you don’t have to worry about „Oh god will I annoy them?“, because I genuinely enjoy doing stuff like that. I can also proofread German words/sentences, just let me know what to check.
Have a good day/night & I hope this was helpful ✌️
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hiraeth-sonder · 2 months
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Entangled Branches - Queqiao
Jingyuan x Reader
Courting is a matter that requires the utmost tact, though exceptions can be made when you're just that old
//I think this just turned into me dumping about ancient Chinese courting gifts. Poem is 秋夕 by 杜牧.
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Holding a needle between your deft fingers, you embroider brilliant thread through the plain fabric, eyes focused on the prick of metal weaving in and out as the image of mandarin ducks slowly forms. One much more colourful than the other, thread of ochre and cerulean decorating the foremost bird’s feathers, the second adorned with milder shades of greys and sepias. Cyan lotus pads scattered around the two birds provide some sense of atmosphere, accompanied by scant petals, all that is left for you to do is to tidy up your ducks and add additional ripples of water.
A hand reaches to grab your scissors, snipping away the last remaining bits of orange thread that now finished the last duck. You mindlessly thread grey string through your needle, piercing through the white fabric to sew wavelets around your ducks. Your fingers ghost over each hill and ridge, feeling for imperfections that might snag. You are well aware that what you make does not have to be perfect, but your pride would not let you give someone anything less than your utmost. 
It is perfect, more than perfect. You cannot help the tightness in your chest and the soft smile that creeps up your lips, thoughts not quite racing but on the verge of. Still, you must calm your thudding heart as your hands meticulously free your fabric from its wooden confines, spreading it smooth against the wooden table. Sunlight peaks through the window by your side, verdant leaves just visible behind the elaborate frame, illuminating your work properly, you take a moment to merely let your thoughts wander. 
Spice sachets are by no means some modern gift to give your lover, perhaps more common in the days of your youth but surely not now. Back then, they were used as insect-repellent or air fresheners, some people also believed that they protected the wearer against evil spirits. Truthfully, he would have no need for it, but call you an old sentimental coot, you just could not help yourself from wanting to protect him, even in your own silly antiquated way. 
Before the thought of actually sewing the pouch comes to mind, your head immediately jumps to the basket weave of herbs long sun-dried for use. It had taken a bit of time to get them, seeing as the alchemy commission was being quite nosey about their use and you had not the heart to tell them. So you did the next best thing and lied, citing that you needed them for cooking. Of course, it was only then that they lightened up, but that did not mean that you could not feel their stares as you scurried away. 
The herbs, shrivelled and colours dulled, provide an ever so slightly scent that floated lightly through the air. A pleasant smell, one that relaxed without being excessively heady or strong. Though you had worried that such a gift would only worsen your lover’s sleeping habits, your concern for him won out in the end. 
Still, you turn away from them to work on sewing the satchel together, far easier work compared to the actual momentous task of embroidery. It goes by much faster than you expect it to, with your mind drifting to familiar faces and that even more familiar emotion. Before you know it, the satchel has taken on the shape of a lotus pouch, drawstrings and all. You attach the beads onto the strings and all that is left to do is to place your herbs in. With a delicate hand, you slowly stuff them in, layering them as if anyone would even open the pouch. 
Tugging on the drawstrings, you hold it to your chest for a moment, your eyes fluttering close and imbuing your prayers for him. To be safe and prosperous, able to do as he wishes without fear or shame, and most importantly for him, for his workload to decrease. A soft sigh escapes you, though it is not one of resignation or annoyance but rather fondness, horrid fondness.
You will find some way to slip this into his office, granted that would not be some hard act with how often he is not in. Still, there had to be some subtlety to your actions, you would ruin all the fun if you refrained from such. Of course, finishing one just means you will have to start the other. You could not possibly think of not making one for that disciple of his, especially when he just keeps getting himself in some kind of trouble. 
You shake your head as a soft smile tugs at your lips. Truly, you must have been some saviour to be granted such people. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
银烛秋光冷画屏,轻罗小扇扑流萤。
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
He holds up the wooden comb up to the light, keen eyes pouring over every aspect of the humble item. Dark wood carved into elegant depictions of verdant bamboo and a crane, the tines were slender yet sturdy, spaced perfectly to glide through hair. Before him were many more options of such, each comb’s design more elaborate than the last. 
The thought of seeing any of them in your hand, fingers wrapped around the wood as you detangle your hair, works oils with that sweet scent that seems to always coax him closer, it sends a soft warmth to his limbs. He does not quite know how to explain it, a rather pitiful situation for someone known for his flattery and skillful words, but he finds that even when you are doing the most mundane things, he loves you just a little bit more. Perhaps others may call him love-addled in the head, but under soft moonlight, in nothing but your sleeping garments with your hair let down, he imagines that fond glint in your eyes and just cannot help himself but yearn to bear witness to such a sight for the rest of time. 
The idea of gifting you a comb has been borne out of spontaneity, something he is not the most familiar with but still welcome. It had been custom for combs to be gifted between lovers, a desire to grow ‘old’ with said person, and he supposes that such a sentiment is rather difficult to continue on when long-lives and mara are two very common phenomena. It is rather silly, but a comb is a practical gift and he has always believed that if given the chance, if the two of you were merely two mortals, you would be happy to watch the wrinkles appear on each other’s face and for your hair to turn grey. You would still be beautiful, aged with the years spent together and the joy evident upon your visage, crow’s feet, smile lines and all. 
When he returns to his senses, his hand has rested upon another comb. A lighter shade than the first, though the quality is still just as immaculate, the spaces between the tines are much larger, not as tightly packed as the last. Though arguably a lot less intricate than many of its predecessors, there seemed to be a certain charm to it, humble jasmine flowers carved onto the main body with a care that went far beyond ornate. The very engraving of each petal laden with care, ridge and valley of complete smoothness, the simple design far conveyed to him the vision of you than the rest.
He thumbs over the engraving, smiling to himself as he imagines you once more. Again that old image of you at your night-time routine, this time with this very comb in your hand as you call for him, your voice gentle along the night wind with the smell of sandalwood in the air. It really is foolish of him to keep musing, and yet no matter how many times he says it, he truly has been reduced to a languishing simpleton of a man when it comes to you. 
“I shall take this one,” He hums, cradling the comb in one hand as he hands it to the seller. 
The seller takes one look at it, a contemplative look appearing on their face before their brows furrow. Taking it into their own hands, they send him a complex look, not quite judgemental but surely urging, “Ah, this plain old thing? I’m certain that we have other combs you will certainly be much more interested in.”
A soft breath escapes him, mostly out of amusement than any negative sentiment. He only nods his head, reaffirming his desire for this specific comb out of the litany he was presented. 
“Apologies, but I’m quite certain.”
When the seller notes his conviction, they just accept it. They must surely still be confused at his choice but he does not see why he must explain himself, after all, when it comes to someone such as you, even he cannot explain the manner in which even the simplest things remind him of you. 
“I see, of course.”
The comb is promptly wrapped up in delicate paper and fastened with string, tied in a knot you will no doubt struggle with but will admire for all of five seconds. When it is brought back to his hands, he thanks the merchant and his chest grows warm. 
A comb for his beloved, jasmines adorning your head, surely he must have been some great saviour in his past life to be able to have such a sight. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
天街夜色凉如水,坐看牵牛织女星。
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“General, would you perchance have the time to accept this lowly one’s gift?” 
Your arrival to the seat of Divine Foresight has long been announced, a notion that Qingzu and the routine cloud knights were made aware of even before you could fathom planning your next visit. After all, when the general has come to expect your presence sliding in when everyone least expects it, you gain some perks. 
“You and your formalities,” He laughs, his voice dear to your ears. Jingyuan’s eyes, framed by those long lashes, focus upon you. Seated at his desk with mounds of scrolls to look upon, though he would usually be more than happy to be dozing off right this very moment, the energy at which he responds only boosts your excitement, “Of course I do, I’ll always have time if it's you.”
“Old sap.” Shaking your head, you can only let that fond smile appear across your face as you make your way to his desk. 
It is by no means an arduous journey, and it is not long before you are granted a full view of a certain someone’s rather smug face, almost feline-like if you will. Furthermore, you suppose you also should have expected that he would pull you closer towards him, his head all but resting on yours if not for the fact that you still needed to give him something. Still, you ignore the way your breath hitches for just a moment, the familiar scent of sandalwood and tea that clings to his form drifting to your nose and coaxing you to relax, instead you reach for the spice sachet and place it in his waiting hands. 
He accepts it readily, and it is by the slight widening of his eyes that you know he recognises exactly what you have made for him. After all, it is not like spice sachets are commonplace in this day and age. 
“See, I’ve made it so you can attach it to your belt,” Your voice is low, your head leaning against his shoulder as you fiddle with the strings. You can feel his breath fanning against you, his much larger frame a steady pillar“And it's not too long so it won’t get in your way.”
He is quiet for a moment, admiring the pouch as he turns it over and finds new details to marvel upon. Then, he speaks, voice low and teasing,“My dear, are you saying your beloved stinks?”
“No, I'm saying the air around you stinks.” Huffing, you nudge him with your elbow, a notion that he also clearly finds amusing, as he makes an over-exaggerated ‘oof’ to your light tap. 
Jingyuan only laughs at that comment, wrapping an arm around you so that you may be closer to one another. Still, he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, a doting smile on his lips. He whispers, “Thank you for the gift, I’m certain your blessings will keep me safe.”
“You better, if I have to find out from Qingzu that you got some grievous injury again I think I’ll be the one going mara-struck instead.”
“Oh then whatever shall I do? I suppose I can only trouble my dear wife to take care of me so that I won’t end up in the healers again.”
At that, you barely resist the urge to butt him with your head, another overfond sound escaping his lips, sounding more like sweet birdsong to your ears that you may hear his amusement and joy so clearly. Though, it is not long until you notice the weight in your lap, some object wrapped in paper and bound in string. When you meet his gaze, he only gestures for you to open it, golden eyes glinting with some indulgent sentiment. You do so, fussing with the knot but eventually unwrapping the paper to reveal a simple wooden comb, jasmines carved onto its body. 
The breath in your lungs seems to escape you, for your words get carded in your throat and all you can muster is a pathetic, “You…” 
“You old coot, getting me a comb,” You chuckle, an attempt to hide how choked up you were. “We’ve already spent so many years together and you….”
Jingyuan looks to you, and you are certain that if a mirror were to be brought to both of your faces right this very moment, what would be found would be merely two senior citizens playing at youth. Though, with the many hardships that the centuries have put you through, you cannot quite say that  you quite mind this kind of childish tomfoolery. Why else would you call upon childhood sentiments? Why else would he choose such a gift? 
Holding up a hand to cradle his face, he leans into your touch, those soulful eyes once again meeting yours. There is such a profound affection within them that for a while, it scared you. Yet now, being the one most privy to such a sight, those eyes who hold the sun and make you yearn to protect him, it comes to you as natural as breathing. 
“What do you say, my dear?” He offers, cocking his head to the side as those mellow words sink in. 
You can only shake your head, an overly indulgent quirk of your lips pulls your lover closer. It is not the first kiss you shared, and it is certainly not the last, for there will be a long, long time before one of you meets your ends.
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ocshowandtell · 4 months
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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 11 months
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"you can do whatever you want, you're not Stuck With Me."
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"i'll tell you one thing, we'd make history, you and me. you're getting closer now, it's getting better now, but you're still so far gone."
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synopsis// bottled up feelings have to come out eventually.
pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader
word count// 8k
contents// angst with a happy ending, college!au, literally just y/n and geto being idiots but mostly y/n, shoko only knows tough love, obligatory rain scene, friends to lovers, ooc geto?
notes// scorpions are haunting me so i’m posting this as a distraction. anyways one of my anons requested this!!! so anon i hope i did ur idea justice and that u like it sorry its kinda all over the place.... anywho so besides this being a request, it was also inspired by the song the point by eatmewhileimhot! bye :3 OH and if anyone else has any other requests feel free to lmk!!
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You poke at your food, focusing on the sound your fork makes as it scrapes against your plate instead of whatever the person sitting across from you is saying. You know you should pay attention; you know you’re being rude, but god, are you bored out of your fucking mind. You would much rather be hanging out with Suguru right now, feeling a twinge of regret at turning him down just for this.
“Y/N?” 
Your head raises to look at the person in front of you. “Huh?” 
They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”
You frown sheepishly. “Uh, no, sorry.”
“It’s fine,“ they say, clearing their throat, “I was just saying how I kinda wish we went somewhere else cause I'm craving zaru soba, but I wanted to impress you, you know?”
You nod, not computing the last of his sentence with your brain stuck on the mention of zaru soba. “Suguru likes that.”
“What?”
“Zaru soba—Suguru likes that.”
Your date shoots you a confused stare, and you subconsciously sink into your chair.
“Is, uh, is there something on my face or?” you ask, bringing your hands up to feel around your face.
They shake their head. “No, it’s just—uh, you bring up this Suguru guy a lot, and by a lot, I mean like you’ve brought him up this whole date...”
“I have?” 
They nod. 
“Shit—i’m sorry..” 
“It’s fine.” They dismiss your apology by asking, “What is he to you anyway?”
You stare at him blankly. That’s an easy question. Suguru, to you, is your—he’s your—
“He your friend or something?”
Yes! Suguru is your friend—your best friend even—so why can't you say it out loud? Why are you hesitating?
You laugh nervously, mumbling, “Or something...”
“Or something?” they repeat in hopes you’ll elaborate on what you mean.
You don’t.
Instead, you stand abruptly out of your seat and gather your things. “Um! You know, this has been really great and all, but I actually think I should get going.”
"Oh, okay,” they say, standing up with you. “Uh, do you wanna do this again maybe?”
“You're a lovely person, but...
“It's Suguru, isn't it?”
“What?” You almost choke on your spit as you frantically stammer, “No, uh, no! It's not Suguru-Suguru’s just my-it's-“ you pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It's not because of him.”
They curtly hum. “Thanks for giving me a chance anyway.”
You nod. “I'm gonna—I'm gonna go.”
☆☆☆☆
Suguru is face down on a pillow on his bed when Gojo walks into their shared dorm.
“What happened now?” He asks as he goes to sit on the edge of Suguru’s bed.
“Y/N’s on a date,” he grumbles into the pillow, his words barely audible.
Gojo rolls his eyes. "Suguru, this is just sad at this point.”
Suguru lifts his head and glares at Gojo from over his shoulder. His eyes burning holes into the other's head.
“What? It is!” 
Suguru groans and kicks Gojo as he buries his face back into his pillow.
“Ow! Don’t get mad at me for telling the truth!”
Suguru kicks him again.
“Stop that! You’re acting like a child!”
“You’re one to talk.”
“Ok, listen, this isn’t about me,” Gojo adds, rolling his eyes.
Suguru rolls onto his back and drapes an arm over his face, muttering, “Whatever.”
“Oh my fucking god,” Gojo grumbles as he stands up and walks over to his own bed. “I can't take this, Suguru.“ He grabs his pillow and throws it at Suguru. "You can't do this every time they go on a date!”
Suguru doesn’t even flinch when the pillow lands on his face, nor does he bother moving it as he responds, “Watch me.”
Gojo walks back over to Suguru and grabs the pillow from his face before resuming his position on the end of Suguru's bed. "How long has it been?”
“Since?”
“Since you first started liking them.”
Suguru hesitates to answer, “Too long.”
“Exactly!” Gojo exclaims, shaking the pillow in his hands for dramatic effect. “Maybe…”
Suguru waits a moment to see if Gojo will finish his sentence, and when he doesn’t, Suguru sits up, quirking up his eyebrow at him as he asks slowly, as if attempting to subtly warn Gojo to pick his next words carefully: "Maybe what, Gojo?”
“Maybe it’s time to try and move on, Suguru…” He frowns and asks softly, “Are you just gonna torture yourself like this for the rest of your life?”
Suguru sighs and turns away from Gojo, a small frown on his face. He knows he’s right, but he’s scared in all honesty because, on the one hand, what if it works? What if he actually does move on? What if it was this easy to move on this whole time and he was just here torturing himself for nothing? And on the other hand, he doesn't want it to. He’s liked you for so long. You've taken up so much of his heart that, at this point, he thinks his heart is shaped like you, and it would feel wrong to not like you. He can't imagine himself not being completely and utterly devoted to you, and he doesn’t think he wants to.
“Suguru.” 
Suguru's brows knit together as he looks up at Gojo.
Gojo sighs. “Just try? One date. That’s all I’m asking.”
Suguru rolls his eyes, but there’s no real malice behind it. “I don’t even know anybody, Gojo.”
He perks up at the absence of rejection and happily explains, “Don’t worry bout that; leave it all up to me!" He emphasizes the word 'me' by pointing toward himself.
“Ok, well, that makes me even more inclined to say no.”
"Suguru, pleaseee,” Gojo begs. “Just one date!! That’s all I’m asking! You’re my friend, Suguru, and I know I don’t act like it, but I really do hate seeing you like this.”
Suguru crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow at him in suspicion, wondering, “Why are you being nice?”
“Because, contrary to popular belief, I do in fact care about my friends.”
Suguru breathes out heavily at his response, letting a brief silence wash over them.
“So..." Gojo pries. 
“Fine.”
“Yay!-“
Suguru instantly cuts him off, one finger raised, as he emphasizes sharply, “But just one date, Gojo.“
“Good enough for me!” he says, nodding quickly. “This will be the best date of your life, and you’ll realize you don’t even like Y/N all that much!”
Suguru feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him from that statement but quickly plays it off with a scoff, “Yeah, or it’s the worst date of my life, and I realize just how much more I like Y/N.”
“Ok, well,“ Gojo frowns and scratches his head awkwardly, “Can we at least try to be optimistic?”
“Fine.”
☆☆☆☆
Shoko’s sitting on her bed with her textbook in her lap when you enter your dorm, kicking your shoes off haphazardly across the room and slamming the door shut.
“You good?”
You groan in response as you sluggishly make your way toward her, pushing the book off her lap and instead replacing it with your head.
She looks down at you with a raised eyebrow. “I was reading that, you know.”
You groan again, but this time it comes out louder and more gutteral.
“Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or are you gonna just lay here in my lap groaning?” she asks, rolling her eyes.
You pout, looking up at her. “Is there something wrong with me?”
“Where should I start?”
“Shoko,” you whine.
She bites back a smile as she asks, “Why would you think something's wrong with you?”
“I don’t know,” you mutter. “I mean, I go on so many dates, right?”
Shoko nods and hums something in acknowledgment.
“But they all never end up working out! Like none of them!” You exclaim, throwing your hands out in front of you, barely missing Shoko, who jerks her head to the side just in time. “They always all say the same thing.”
She pushes your hands back down so that she can return to her original position and asks, “Which is?”
You let your hands fall onto your chest as you turned your head to the side to avoid her gaze, mumbling, “That I mention Suguru a lot.”
You don’t even have to look back up at her to know she’s raising her eyebrows at you in question.
“Well, do you?”
Your gaze snaps back up at her as you exclaim, “Yeah, but!” You pause. “He's my… He's my best friend, so obviously I'd mention him a lot!”
The word best friend feels heavy and foreign in your mouth, like it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. You’ve never had to put a label on you and Suguru, not until the dates at least, but even then, you and Suguru were just... simply that. You were just you and Suguru.
“Really feeling the love here.”
“Shokoooooo.”
She rolls her eyes. “You were just on a date, right?”
You nod. 
“And so what happened?”
“Nothing! I was bored; I'm always bored on these dates.”
"Okay, hypothetically,” she says, “What would you have rather been doing?”
“Hanging out with Suguru! I always tell myself that I'm literally gonna stop canceling on him for dates because I always end up regretting it.”
“Right, right,” she says, nodding. “Y/N, have you ever considered that maybe you like Geto?”
You roll your eyes. “Of course I like Suguru, idiot. Did you not just hear me call him my-“
She cuts you off: “Your best friend. Yeah, whatever; that's not what I mean. I mean, like. romantically.”
“Huh?” Shoko’s words take a minute to fully register in your brain, but once they do, your jaw drops. “Huh?! Pft, no, of course not, that is... That is a… That is a silly thought.”
She stares down at you blankly, knowing the way you just stumbled over your whole sentence reveals your lack of conviction in your own words. "Right… Well, if you’re gonna be an idiot in denial, can you do that in your own bed? I need to study.”
You roll your eyes as you sit up. “Is studying all you do?”
She shrugs, and now that her lap is free from you, she places her textbook back into her lap. “Is obsessing over Geto all you do?”
“I don't like you.”
“You love me. Now leave me alone.”
You begrudgingly hop off her bed and into your own, making it a point to sigh dramatically the whole time. Once you're in your own bed, your phone goes off, and upon seeing who the message is from, you bite back a smile.
Shoko looks up from her textbook at the noise. “Oh? That your man?”
“Shut your mouth.”
She simply laughs under her breath before returning to her studies, and you happily return your attention back to your phone. 
Suguru<3: hey
Y/N: hey!
Suguru<3: oh I didn't expect you to reply so quick lol. I thought u were on a date?
Y/N: was :/ that shit suckedddddd it was so boring Suguru pls I would've much rather hung out with you
Suguru<3: well I mean u could've
Y/N: I KNOWWWW ugh next time remind me to never cancel on you for a lame date again k?
Suguru<3: yeah I will… so I'm taking it you won't be seeing them again?
Y/N: definitely not... I do wanna see u again tho!!
Suguru<3: you'll see me in class y/n
Y/N: yeah but that's so far awayyyyy
Suguru<3: yk if u wanna hangout rn u can just say so 
Y/N: do u wanna hang out?
Suguru<3: he can't he's busy -gojo 
Y/N: gojo when I get my hands on u. 
Suguru<3: :p -gojo
You groan dramatically and throw your phone somewhere onto your bed as you shove your face into your pillow, mumbling, “I'm going to sleep.”
“Eager to see your man tomorrow?”
“Die.”
☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。
Gojo and Suguru are walking to class when Gojo starts humming obnoxiously, like he’s thinking about something and wants someone to notice, so he doesn’t stop until Suguru sighs.
“Can you shut up?”
Gojo frowns and feigns hurt. “Aren’t you gonna ask me what I’m thinking about?”
“Fine, what are you thinking about, Gojo?”
Gojo slightly leans in toward Suguru as he coos, “Thinking about who I’m gonna set you up with, obviously!”
"Oh, right about that...”
“Nuh uh, you can't back out!”
“But I think they might feel the same?” Suguru says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
Gojo’s head whips toward Suguru in shock. “Wait huh?” 
“Before you stole my phone yesterday—which I’m still mad about, by the way—they said they would’ve rather hung out with me than go on the date,” he says, pulling out his phone to show Gojo the texts.
Gojo doesn’t say anything, and the lack of anything coming out of his mouth worries Suguru, who’s now scanning Gojo’s face for a trace of anything to tell him what the other is thinking and gets it when Gojo finally cracks a frown.
“What? Why do you look like that?” Suguru asks, and he hates how it comes out more panicked than he intended, his own voice like nails on a chalkboard to his ears.
“I don't wanna say anything that would get your hopes up,” Gojo says, his gaze now fixed on his steps. “And besides, maybe this date could still be good.”
“You’re not gonna let me get out of this, are you?”
“Of course not!” he says, his regular pep back in his step. “So does tomorrow work for you?”
“Yeah, whatever, Gojo, you’d make me go regardless, I don’t know why you ask.”
“Lol, true anyway." Gojo’s steps come to a halt. "Here’s my class; see you later!”
Suguru waves him off: "Yeah, whatever, oh, and Gojo?”
“Hm?”
“At least set me up with someone good," he says, an ever-so-slight smile on his face.
“Of course! Leave it all up to me, bestie!”
Suguru nods and continues on toward his own class, only then does he huff, “Yeah, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
☆☆☆☆
You sat in your seat, your cheek leaning in your palm, sighing every so often from boredom but quickly perking up when you notice a familiar face walk through the door.
“Suguru!” 
“Y/N!”
Your gaze is glued to him as you watch him take his seat beside you; only once he’s fully situated do you speak up again: “I was wondering if you were skipping or something.”
Suguru tilts his head at you in confusion, asking, “Why?”
“Because you took so long.”
He tries to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. “Did you miss me that much?”
“Shut up. What were you doing anyway?”
Suguru rolls his eyes. “Gojo made me walk him to class.”
You raise an eyebrow at him, your voice unamused as you speak, “Lame excuse, I walk with Shoko to her class every day and I still get here before you.”
“Yeah, that’s cause it’s Shoko?”
“True, I’ll excuse it for today if...”
“If?” He narrows his eyes at you, urging you to continue your sentence.
“If we hang out tomorrow?”
“Can we hang out today?” He looks away as he says, “I’m kinda busy tomorrow....”
“Aw man,” you say, frowning, “You’re never busy.”
“I know, sorry, it’s just—" He halts before mumbling out the rest of his sentence—“something Gojo’s making me do.”
Suguru finally returns his gaze to you when he hears you huff.
“He’s taking you from me too often; I'll have to intervene sooner or later if he keeps this up.”
He stifles a laugh. “Can you not today?”
“Nope, I've gotta work on a project for one of my classes,” you say with a disappointed sigh.
“Okay, well, how about Wednesday, then?”
“I can fit you into my schedule, I suppose.”
“Oh shut up; don’t act like you weren’t the one asking me to hang out last night.”
“I was a different person then,” you deadpan.
Suguru rolls his eyes but can’t even try to hide the grin on his face. “Yeah, ok.”
☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。
Come the next afternoon, Suguru finds himself staring into a mirror at his outfit with a small scowl on his face.
“I look stupid.”
“You always look stupid,” Gojo remarks, patting Suguru on the back.
Suguru ignores him and rolls his eyes, his voice small as he borderline pleads, “Do I really have to go?”
“Yes! It’s too late to back out now when your date is in like twenty minutes, so really you should get going by now,” he says while attempting to push Suguru out the door.
Suguru doesn’t budge. “I don't even know this person, Gojo.”
“That’s what dates are for!”
Suguru looks over his shoulder at Gojo, who’s still trying to push him out the door. “You know this isn’t gonna work, right?”
Gojo rolls his eyes and huffs, “Well, not with that attitude.”
“Gojo.”
“Suguru, you said you’d try! so go! try!”
Suguru sighs and reluctantly gives in… again. “I hate you.”
Gojo waves him off, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you can hate me after your date.”
Suguru doesn’t reply and instead opts to flip him off as he walks out the door.
☆☆☆☆
Suguru sits at a secluded booth in a dimly lit restaurant, lost in thought rather than listening to whatever the person sitting across from him is saying. He knows he should be paying attention; he knows he’s being rude, but god is he bored out of his fucking mind, and to say he’s hating every second of this is an understatement. He’d much rather be hanging out with you right now, regretting turning you down for this because just being here makes a part of him feel like he’s betraying you, and the thought has him anxiously wiping his sweaty palms against his pants. He’s been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you. Suguru was naive to believe he could delude himself into thinking that there was any possibility in any way that he’d move on, let alone with someone Gojo picked.
“Suguru?”
He quickly looks up at the person in front of him. “Yeah?”
They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”
“No, sorry—I guess I was just, uh, lost in thought.”
"Oh, it’s fine,” they say, confusingly normal about the whole situation. “I was just, um, talking about your friend Gojo, actually.”
He blinks. “Why?”
“I was actually hoping you'd help me get with him?”
“You do realize you're on a date with me, right?”
“Please.” They roll their eyes. “Don't act like you wanna be here any more than I do right now.”
“How did-“
“It's written all over your face, you know? They must be really special.” They tease with a sweet smile, “I almost feel like I should be jealous.”
Suguru swallows harshly, suddenly feeling way more exposed than he would ever want to, especially on a ‘date’. “Sorry…”
They shrug. “Don't be; honestly, I just said yes to this to get some pointers on Gojo, so I don't think I'm any better than you right now.”
Suguru nods, his mind reeling. He’s not actually sure what’s going on or how he got here in the first place. How could his date be so okay with the fact that he’s here thinking about someone else? Oh, right, because so are they, but it’s still not clicking in his brain.
“You can leave if you want.”
He narrows his eyes at them skeptically. “Huh?”
“To go hang out with the one you actually like.”
Suguru shakes his head. There’s somehow too much happening right now for him to comprehend. “Again, what?”
They roll their eyes playfully, an amused smile on their face, as they lean over the table and whisper, “Suguru, I'm giving you an out.”
He blinks, and suddenly everything clicks, and he doesn’t understand why he’s still here when they just told him they could go to you. He stands up abruptly and says, “Right, I'm...“
“Don't say you're sorry; make it up to me by going to them, yeah?”
“I really appreciate that. Uhm, text me and I'll give you pointers on Gojo?”
They laugh and nod. “Yeah. Now, shoo, go to the one you actually want to be with.”
Suguru turns his head toward the exit of the restaurant, ready to leave, but pauses and ends up turning back to his ‘date’, a small smile on his face. “Thank you.”
“Mhm! Also, I want to meet them sometime, k? We’re friends now, sorry!”
“Yeah… Yeah, you can. Someday? Maybe…”
They tilt their head at him, unamused despite the smile on their face. “Bye Suguru.”
He returns the smile and waves before heading off to find you.
☆☆☆☆
You found yourself under a tree somewhere on campus, attempting—and failing—to entertain yourself since Suguru was busy and couldn't hang out, and you didn't even dare try to go to Shoko for entertainment, knowing her face is probably stuffed into her textbook and she would berate you for interrupting her, or if she did agree, she would spend the whole time with her whole face screaming how she would much rather be studying, even when her studying proves to be just for fun because she cheats on her exams anyway, but you digress. Lost in thought, you don't notice how someone’s approached you until their shadow falls over you.
“You dead?”
You look up and are pleasantly surprised to see Suguru. “Hey! I thought you were busy?”
Suguru shrugs. “Left early.”
“What’d you go do anyway?”
“A date.”
The minute the words leave Suguru’s mouth, you can feel your stomach churn in a horrible way. like you’re on a rollercoaster, but it's not fun; you want to get off, and you want to get off now, like this is final destination and you’re about to fall to your doom. Or more so, this makes you realize you've already fallen to your doom; you've already fallen in love with Suguru, and it took Shoko saying something and him going on a date for it to really sink in like it hadn't been there all along. Your jaw clenches, and you're quiet—terrifyingly quiet—and it makes Suguru regret saying anything; he doesn’t even know why he did... Okay, no, he knows. He knows he was acting petty and wanted to rub it in your face like you rub your dates in his, even if not purposeful, and besides, you two are friends, and friends are honest with each other. But maybe he shouldn’t have been, and it's excrutiatingly obvious he shouldn't have been when you suddenly stand up and avoid his gaze.
“Y/N?”
You kick at the dirt under your shoes and mumble, “I should, um, Shoko actually just texted me.”
“Y/N, can you look at me, please?” Suguru sounds desperate.
You look up at him and smile, but with the way your eyes are glazed over, it’s like you’re not even there. “Yeah?” 
“I thought we could hang out now?” 
“Yeah, but—ugh—Shoko really needs my help, you know?”
“Are we still on for tomorrow at least?”
“I hope your date was good, Suguru.”
“Y/N-“
“If I keep her waiting any longer, she’ll be really mad. I’m gonna go.”
☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。
Suguru wishes he could say he’s surprised when you don’t show up to class the next day, but he’s not. Not at all. Especially from the way you ran off yesterday to how you’re still not answering any of his texts or calls, it was a telltale sign that Suguru would not be seeing you today. That didn’t stop him from trying, though. Of course not. So halfway through class, he left—not like he was paying attention anyway—and made his way to your dorm. Though he hesitates to knock once he’s actually there, he doesn’t even know why you’re ignoring him in the first place, and honestly? He’s scared to find out.
You’ve never acted like this with him before; you’ve always been an open book, always the first to speak up if something he did upset you, so he doesn’t understand why you’ve suddenly done a complete 180. He takes a deep breath before knocking. He came all this way; he isn’t going to just leave without figuring out what's wrong—or at least he’s going to try to figure out what's wrong.
No answer.
He knocks again.
No answer.
Suguru groans as he goes to knock one more time, but before he can, the door is swung open, and he’s met with a disheveled-looking Shoko.
“What?”
“Shoko, hi—“ Suguru gives her a quick once-over. "Sorry, were you asleep?”
She crosses her arms and blows a tuft of hair out of her face. “I was, and I'd like to go back to sleep, so-“
“Right, sorry, uh, is Y/N here?”
“No,” she replies quickly, far too quickly that Suguru doesn't believe her and instead tries to look into the room to find you. Shoko immediately picks up on this and shifts her body to cover any gaps he could look through. “They aren’t here, sorry.”
“Shoko,” he monotones.
She chews the inside of her lip and looks away, and Suguru can tell she's dying to say something, but she ultimately decides against it and shakes her head, looking back up at him.
“They’re not here, sorry.”
Suguru sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It's fine, sorry for waking you.”
“It's fine… Take care of yourself, Geto.”
“Yeah. You too.”
Shoko quickly shuts the door, and instead of climbing back into bed, she grabs her pillow and makes her way toward your bed, only to end up hitting you with it repeatedly. You pull your covers over your head in a futile attempt to protect yourself.
“Shoko, stop!”
“You stop.” She punctuates every word with a hit of her pillow.
“You’re the one hitting me!”
Shoko hits you one last time. “I mean, stop ignoring him, idiot.”
You peek your head out from under the covers, a frown on your face.
“Don't look at me like that; you’re acting childish, and you know that.”
“I can’t look at him.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“Shoko, I'm serious!” You speak adamantly, sitting up. “I mean, I realize I like him the exact moment he tells me he went on a date?”
“Who’s fault is that?”
“Shoko, I-I can't.”
“Whatever, sulk all you want; don't talk to him about it; I don't care; just scoot over.”
Your face twists in confusion. “What?”
“I'm tired,” she says blankly, now climbing into your bed.
You listen and scoot over, though it's more like she pushes you over. “You know you have your own bed, right?”
She yawns: “Too far away.”
You look down at her, and she's somehow already fast asleep. You roll your eyes and lay back down, looking up at the ceiling with your mind racing, and suddenly your phone vibrates. You know who it is; he’s the only one who texts you, but that doesn’t stop you from checking anyway.
Suguru<3: hey. 
Suguru<3: did I do something?
Suguru<3: I don't understand.
Suguru<3: you weren't in class so I tried going to ur dorm. shoko said you weren't there but I don't really believe her.
Suguru<3: can you just talk to me please?
Suguru<3: I miss you.
Suguru<3: guess this means we aren’t hanging out today huh?
Suguru<3: text me soon please.
☆☆☆☆
Thursday 
Suguru<3: no class again?
Suguru<3: look I get it
Suguru<3: okay maybe I don't.
Suguru<3: I don't know what I did wrong but if you don't wanna talk that's fine
Suguru<3: can you just let me know you’re okay?
Suguru<3: fuck I don't even care if you have shoko tell me you’re okay or if you tell gojo I just
Suguru<3: I just need to know you’re okay y/n. 
Suguru<3: how long are you gonna avoid me?
Suguru<3: or avoid class?
Suguru<3: I miss you.
“Can you answer your fucking phone,” Shoko snaps.
You glare at her and instead shut your phone off completely. “There. Happy?”
"No, not at all; I won't be happy till you stop sulking.”
You smile at her condescendingly. "You are so lovely; did you know that?”
She sighs deeply. “Y/N, you’re ignoring Geto because he went on one date.”
“I'm ignoring him because I'm in love with him.”
She narrows her eyes at you. “And he's supposed to know that how? I'm a hundred percent sure the poor boy has no clue what he did.”
“Shoko, you don't get it! You've never been in love,” you sneer.
“I don't need to be in love to know you're acting stupid.” She shakes her head. “You know what? Ignore him all you want; that's your problem, but you need to go to class; don't throw away your college degree for him.”
You sigh, finally agreeing with her on at least one thing. “Yeah... Yeah, I know I'll go tomorrow.”
She nods happily. “Good. Now can I get back to studying?”
“I'm not the one who made you stop, you took that upon yourself.”
“Watch yourself; I'll walk my ass straight to Geto's dorm and tell him for you.”
“…Sorry”
☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。
You get to class the next day extremely early and take a seat in the far back, away from everyone else, hoping Suguru would somehow not see you, or maybe more like in hopes you wouldn’t see him. It doesn't work. The minute he walks in, his eyes are drawn to yours like there was an invisible string there tying him directly to you, and your stomach twists as you see him approach you. As he’s approaching you, he sees your face, and he sees how you look like you're five seconds away from vomiting up everything you’ve ever eaten since you were born, so he stops in his tracks. Besides, a confrontation in the middle of class wouldn't be a good idea either way, so he’ll just catch you after class.
That somehow proves to be much harder than it should have been because once class ends and he turns around to catch you before you leave, you're already gone. He blinks incredulously at your empty seat for a moment before snapping out of it and running out into the halls, trying to find you among the crowd of people, which is easy for him considering you're the only thing that exists to Suguru right now and pretty much always, but even despite that, he can't find you. He stands in the hall, watching people pass him by as he does nothing, and the only thing he can hear is his heartbeat ringing in his ears and the rain that suddenly started sometime during all of this.
He finally snaps out of it once more and realizes that since it randomly started raining, there's a chance that you're somewhere waiting the rain out, unless you are so dead set on avoiding him that you don't care in the first place and walk back to your dorm in the rain anyway... Suguru hopes he's right as he starts walking toward the exit, and exhales heavily in relief when he sees you out on the porch and slowly creeps up behind you.
“Did you know it was gonna rain?”
You flinch at the sound of his voice. “No.”
Suguru’s heart feels like it's about to burst right out of his chest, and he feels like it's been way too long since he's heard your voice. “I think Gojo is gonna bring me an umbrella; do you wanna wait with me?”
“No.”
“No?”
You shake your head and start walking out into the rain, but you don't get far when Suguru reaches out and grabs your wrist.
“Wait!”
You look back at him, your jaw clenched tight. “Let go of me, Suguru.”
“You’ll get sick.”
You yank your wrist out of his grasp. “I don't care; I want to go back to my dorm.”
For a few moments, Suguru feels stuck in place as he watches you begin to walk away, yet everything in his being is screaming at him to go after you, to not let you go. He doesn’t even realize he was holding his breath this whole time until he gasps for air, and at the same time, his body finally decides to align with his mind, and he runs after you. You can hear his foot steps pattering against puddles, which only makes you speed up your walking.
Suguru notices this, and although he's still chasing after you, he decides to call out a pained, “Why are you ignoring me?”
You almost don't even hear him over how loud the rain has grown.
Almost.
“I'm not ignoring you, Suguru,” you say, stopping in your tracks with a deep sigh. He’ll catch you sooner or later, so maybe it's best to just get it over with.
Suguru doesn’t say anything until he's right behind you. You can hear just how clearly his voice trembles as he says, “Oh, so we’re lying now?”
“I'm no-“
“What the fuck happened? What are you doing?” and although he sounded exasperated only a second ago, when he speaks again, it's horrifyingly subdued: “This—this isn't us.”
You whip around to face him, a scowl on your face as you fume, “There is no us.”
Suguru’s face goes blank. No us? That's not right. That's all there is. There's only ever been an us because Suguru is not him without you. It's never just Suguru. It's you and Suguru; it's him and you; there's no him without you.
“What?”
“There is no us, Suguru; that's—“ you say, gesturing in little circles with your hands in front of you, trying to act out whatever word you're looking for. “That's the fucking problem.”
“I don't—“ His voice is breathy as he shakes his head in confusion. “What are you saying, Y/N?”
“You know what I'm saying.”
“No,” he says sternly, "No, I don't. I need to hear you say it.”
You take a deep breath and squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the rain falling against your face rather than the words coming out of your mouth: “I'm in love with you.”
The silence is suffocating, and you're violently aware of how you can feel Suguru’s eyes burning holes into you. You swallow harshly before peeking your eyes open, and he’s just standing there wide-eyed, his jaw slack.
“Suguru?”
“Why now?”
With his voice so small and brittle, you hardly even heard him.
“Huh?”
“Why now?” he repeats, this time louder, harsher.
“I don't—I don't understand?”
Suguru laughs in disbelief. He brings his hands up to cover his face, and he just laughs into them or cries; he's not even quite sure anymore. And after a few moments of this, he finally takes a deep breath, running one hand down his face as the other drops back to his side. “Do you know how long I’ve been in love with you, Y/N?”
“What?” You’re hopeful for a moment, but that all comes quickly crashing down, realization washing over you. “Wait, but you went on a date.”
“Y/N, it's been so long that Gojo got tired of me wallowing in my own self-pity every time you went on a date.” He sighs and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. “So he forced me to go on one too to try and help me move on.”
“Why didn't you wait for me?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
Suguru doesn't know whether to nod or shake his head. “No, I know, but I don't understand.”
Your face scrunches up in disdain, silently reading—what's there to not understand? “Why didn't you wait for me to fall in love with you?”
“Y/N, do you even hear what you're saying right now?” he scoffs. “Do you even hear what I'm saying? All I've ever fucking done was wait for you, and I go on one date that I left early for you, and now I'm the bad guy?”
Your heart sinks like a bag of rocks into a deep body of water. “No wait, Suguru, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.”
Suguru looks down, avoiding your stare, carefully tapping a puddle with the tip of his shoe as he mumbles, “Yeah.”
“Do-“ you stop yourself and swallow harshly before continuing, “Are you still in love with me?”
He stays silent, and embarrassment floods your bones. How could he still love you? You, who's been subconsciously dangling a treat in front of him like some kind of animal just to coax him into doing what you want, into staying with you, following you around, just because you were too out of touch to realize you even liked him in the first place. Of course, he wouldn't still love you.
“Of course I am. Don't be silly,” he reluctantly admits.
Relief washes over you, and the breath you take feels like the first one you've taken since Tuesday, when he told you about his date in the first place. “So... now what?”
The same relief does not wash over Suguru; in fact, he's feeling anything but relief. Too many things to name, to pin point; it's just all too much. This is just too much. “I need space; I can't—" he shakes his head, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't do this right now.”
“What?”
“I just. I can't. I'm sorry.”
Your voice cracks, “But-“
“I just need to think about this,” he says, waving his hands around in small circles, referencing the two of you.
“Oh.” You take a step back and nod. “Okay. I'll go then... I love you, Suguru.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Yeah, I love you too.”
Suguru watches you walk away, and he can't tell his tears apart from the rain; can’t tell if his heart is stopping or if it's racing; can't tell if he's breathing or suffocating; he can't tell anything. His surroundings are drowning out and blurring into vague shapes and figures around him, and Suguru is sure he could just drop dead right then and there.
“Jeez, I didn't take that long that you had to walk out in the rain, dramatic much?”
Suguru, in all honesty, didn’t hear a word that was just said; the only thing that caught his attention was the lack of rain hitting him. He looks up to find an umbrella there instead of the dark cloudy sky that resembled his insides a little too much, then looks to his side to find Gojo there, and he wants to wipe the stupid grin off his face. If he can't be happy, why should Gojo? His head drops in defeat at his own thoughts. God, he’s acting shitty.
“Sorry.”
Gojo looks at him curiously. “You good?”
“No. No, I'm not good.”
"Hey dude, what's wrong?”
Suguru lets out a harsh laugh, and with no rain hitting him anymore, he knows for sure the thing dripping down his face is tears. “I fucked up.“
Gojo scans Suguru’s face frantically, looking for something—anything—that will tell him what's wrong with his best friend.
“Suguru, you have to be a little more specific than that.”
“Y/N loves me back.”
Gojo goes wide-eyed, and he gives a confused smile because how could this warrant his friend’s reaction? “What dude, that's gr-“
Suguru quickly cuts him off: "Great, I know, but I told them to give me space, Gojo.”
Frankly, Gojo isn't even worried anymore; he’s just in complete disbelief, shouting, “What? Why the hell would you do that?! Are you stupid?”
“Maybe!” he shouts back, trembling. “I don't know! They just— They went on about how I should've waited for them, and I was mad because that's all I've ever fucking done. I don't know; I wasn't thinking straight, and I fucked up, and they left. I made them leave. I asked for space when I hated all the space we've had from each other this whole week, and I asked for more?” He repeatedly hits his forehead with his palm, muttering, “I'm an idiot, fuck.“
“Suguru.”
“What?”
Gojo tilts his head at him. “Why are you still here?”
The question stills his movements, his hand falling back to his side, and he stares at Gojo in pure confusion. “What?”
“You obviously know that space isn't what you want, and you just said it in the heat of the moment, so why are you still here?”
Suguru is silent.
“Why aren't you running after them? They want you, dude! And you want them too!”
Suguru thinks if it weren’t for Gojo constantly moving, he'd think time had completely stopped in time with his realization on how he’s a complete moron.
“Suguru.”
Suguru sighs. “I hate when you're right; you know that?”
Gojo perks up knowing that he got through to Suguru; he coos sing-song, “If that were true, you'd hate me all the time.”
Suguru nods, “I do.”
“Oh, shut up." Gojo extends the handle of his umbrella toward Suguru. “Do you want my umbrella?”
“No, it’s fine; I’m already wet,” Suguru says, looking down at his soaked clothes as he wipes any remaining tears away. “What’s a little bit more water?”
“Good luck, Suguru.”
“Thanks Gojo.”
☆☆☆☆
You walk into your dorm slowly, in a daze-like state. Honestly, you don't even remember walking here; you just remember your fight? confession? argument? — your something with Suguru, and then there's a lapse in your memory, and now you're here.
“Y/N, dude, you're getting water everywhere.“
You sniffle and look down at the puddle that's forming underneath you. “Sorry.”
Shoko tentatively stands up from her bed and cranes her neck down to try and look at your face. “Y/N? Are you okay?”
You look up at her with a wobbly smile. “I confessed.”
She looks at you blankly, unsure if she should say something or if you are.
“He asked for space.”
“He likes you, and he asked for space?”
“I didn't tell you that—“
“It's obvious; keep up,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Anyways, so he asked for space?”
You nod blankly. “Uh huh.”
“Why?”
You rub your eyes in hopes that not looking at Shoko will make the embarrassment lessen. “I said some things in the heat of the moment, and... and yeah.”
It doesn’t.
She’s strangely unfazed; in fact, if anything, she’s partially annoyed. “Ok, and you’re just going to listen to him?”
“What else am I supposed to do, Shoko?” you ask incredulously, glaring at her with your hands back at your sides.
“Fight for him? He likes you back, and if you said something in the heat of the moment, odds are that him asking for space was also just in the heat of the moment.”
“You weren't there, Shoko. You didn't see how he was looking at me—at how he said it.”
“Y/N,” she says disappointedly, eyes shut and pinching her nose bridge. “He's literally been so upset at you ignoring him these past few days; do you really think he meant it when he asked for space? Even more space?”
You blink at her, your mind gone blank.
“Look, maybe he did, yeah? But maybe he didn't, and you won't know unless you go fight for him.”
“I don't know Shoko,” you mumble skeptically.
She rolls her eyes as she rebuts, "At the very least, you can apologize for what you said.”
“I already did.”
“Again, this time now that your head is… somewhat clearer... Are you really just gonna let him get away like this?”
“…no,” you answer weakly, which isn’t good enough for you or Shoko, who’s looking at you with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “No,” you say again, this time with true conviction behind your words—word. “I don't want to let him get away like this. I don't want it to end like this.”
She gestures toward the door with a small, proud smile on her face. “Then go.”
You look back at the door before looking back at her and nodding. “Thank you, Shoko.”
“Uh huh,” she says, starting to walk back toward her bed, “and when you come back, you better not make another puddle.”
“No promises.”
☆☆☆☆
In an attempt to save whatever dignity you have left, you decide not to run down the halls like a shitty rom-com cliché; instead, you speed walk. Which, in hindsight, is probably even more embarrassing than just full-sending it by running, but you digress. You barely get halfway down the hall when you see Suguru. Both of you make eye contact at the same time, yet neither of you stop making your way toward each other, but you both slow down, carefully walking toward each other like two predators about to attack.
“You're leaving puddles in the hall,” you say quietly now that the two of you have come to a halt right in front of each other.
Suguru nods and looks you up and down. “So are you.”
You both stand there for a moment, just staring at each other, neither of you saying anything. Allowing your presence to speak for itself, but it's awkward—too awkward—and it feels like your knees are gonna give out on you if you stare at him any longer in silence.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came for you." He shakes his head, ignoring his own answer, like his very words aren't the most important thing to you right now. He came for you. “What are you doing here? I thought you would’ve been in your dorm by now.“
“I was—“ your voice grows quiet, “But I was coming for you too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you don’t have anything to apologize for, Suguru. I shouldn’t have said what I said; that was selfish of me. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want space,” he blurts out, hardly acknowledging your apology, which he didn't need in the first place. What he needs is you, and it will always be you.
“You don’t?”
“God no,” he says vehemently. “Space is the last thing I want. I don’t want space from you. I feel like there’s something missing when I’m away from you. How could I ever want space, Y/N?” His voice cracks a little at the end, and it has your heart racing. “I was just mad, and I shouldn’t have said that.”
You have all of these feelings inside you, and you’ve cried enough today to last the rest of your life, so instead you find yourself laughing, and Suguru looks slightly mortified.
“Why are you laughing?”
You laugh some more before trying to catch your breath, and you take a step forward closer toward him as you speak through deep breaths, “I’m just so fucking relieved. I-fuck-I love you, Suguru.”
Suguru closes the space between you two, pulling you into his embrace, and you tuck your face into his shoulder, his cold, damp clothes doing wonders to soothe your now-burning cheeks.
“I love you too, Y/N.”
“I think we look stupid standing here soaking wet and hugging...”
“Wanna make ourselves look even stupider by standing here soaking wet and kissing?”
You pull away ever so slightly just to look at him, and he’s staring at you with a smirk, and the longer he waits, the more furious the blush on his cheeks gets, and you can't help but stall your answer even more just for that reason.
“…matter of fact, yes, I do.”
Suguru grins widely but wastes no time connecting your lips together. The kiss is better than you could have ever imagined; it's gentle yet passionate all at once, and it's sloppy because neither of you can fully stop smiling long enough to keep the kisses consistent. And It's everything. He's everything, and you're mad that it even took you this long to realize that in the first place, but at least you don't have to worry about that anymore. Now you just have to worry about the fact that you two will probably end up getting sick from your wet clothes, but that's a problem for after you two stop kissing—if you two ever stop kissing.
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