#feeling very very normal about what happens when you read the fool as asexual

[spending-life-pretending]

The Fool at any given moment when dealing with Fitz:

#me #rote #tawny man spoilers #fools fate #realm of the elderlings #feeling very very normal about what happens when you read the fool as asexual #feeling completely calm and not close to breaking down in sobs at all

[saltypiss]

Ah, I think after seeing a good comic but with a cutesy artstyle, I understand the issue with trans messaging to non-dysfunctional republicans that are mostly in name.

Trans messaging is too cute, or too descriptively gross. It's either messaging for the general public, or messaging for...themselves.

I read alot of posts that use all sorts of verbiage, and against my will I have learned them, which is fine, but understand I have no interest reading anything that has descriptor after descriptor after descriptor.

Ya'll're just people man. I'm glad ya celebrate your culture and fully say "fuck you I am Myself". But recognize life, humanity, isn't predisposed to caring about another person in a country that actively sets you up to be against one another.

In terms of the internet personality, what is shown, understand I am just as cringed and annoyed on a trans page as a republicans, just not as depressed and pissed off. Intention will do that, when someone is being themself and someone is being a nazi.

At the end of the day, I just feel ya'll are chill, awesome, very understanding, thoughtful, empathetic, smart, all the positives.

You're just...not cool. Not "cool" as in good, but appealing to anyone but yourselves. Ya'll trip over yourselves to echobox amongst yourselves in excitement finally finding someone likeminded just to circlejerk.

Straight dudes by and large are turned off by pink due to historic cultural bullshit reasons. The fact ya'll have a group that's banner is a rainbow and ya'll chose...Pink...and Baby Blue... Like, I get it, but your average bumbling fool is easily manipulated into giving money away if you jingle jangle some keys in their face. They want something edgey, cool, something they can actually feel cool to say they're apart of, not just proud.

I don't feel cool being an ally, trans, asexual to pansexual. I feel proud to be on the right side of history. It's just that you fuckers keep shoving teddy bears and girly aesthetics into the frame blocking my epic Bionicles figure with fire behind it. Ya can't even see it because the pink is so overpowering it's blooming my god damned screen.

Trans messaging is VERY dominated by femininity. That's...fine, but the fact it's Pre-occupied with it ans themself shows it's still developing, and the best change is it's messaging to not be hyper-feminist.

Instead of dropping high-detail verbiage to find just the right place you fit into some series of labels nobody heard of til recently especially you, how about, you know, you remember the average slob doesn't remember what year 9/11 took place, much less what caused it. That's just in ya'lls bible on here like literally anything trans or feminist.

It's an echobox that's very, very Gay, and Girly. Should people be fascist bigots because of it? No, but you don't make saying you're an ally appealing when it Severely Implies you too are, gay, trans, or queer in some manner.

No """""normal""""" person has the time to learn all your fancy new words. They can hardly figure out Pronouns are just...pro...nouns.... No """""normal"""" person is interested in being lumped with an """other""" that's Chosen Inherent Existence is so god damn gay and girly it questions their masculinity just by being apart of it.

It's stupid as shit obviously. But if you're not willing to understand why your messaging fails for them, don't question why they're confused thay their message fails back.

You're both trying to be on a pedestal of importance claiming equality, but the truth everyone knows is Massive Social Change needs to happen for either side, normal/LGBT vs Nazis/Republicans, to prosper.

Republican messaging is entirely masculine. It's why they have any support right now. Idiots are scared of the unknown, and you threw an advanced biology book at the slackjawed and expected them to know how to read before even getting them remotely grounded in what transgenderism is. They're piss scared of using the wrong pro-nouns and getting fired because A: They believe anything anyone tells them so long as it enables them to be shitty, and B: Ya'll mother fuckers were too precious about the whole god damned thing initially that nobody on their side is willing to take it seriously.

The people you were desperate to get to use your pro-nouns are the kind of people that Everything they cared about was shit on so they have absolutelt no ability to care deeply for something that isn't hustle culture. You were fighting a crowd of people who's entire perspective on having something passionate about themselves was never in their identity but their worth as a man, financially, socially, or physically.

The fact the transgender movement doesn't know shit about the struggles of men is why they're so god damn obnoxious to just about everyone and I mean this when I say it: Ya'll will lose support if you don't wise the fuck up, because everyone else will before you if you refuse and stay conservative in your ideology.

There's nothing more infuriating than hearing honestly pointless situations occur in your daily life that don't even begin to measure up to other's. Trying to pass, I get it, but man ya'll just go out of your way sometimes to confuse or enrage. How the hell is a normie idiot distracted by keys going to tell the difference between male, female, someone trying to pass, a drag queen, or just someone dressing non-comformly?

Sure you can use "they" but recognize you're asking society to train themselves for such a small minority they may only see/acknowledge once in their entire lives. And ya'll shit on men for accidents. Remember when Feminazi's made a rocket scientist cry and apologize on live TV for wearing a fucking shirt? Congrats on that win, why are they allowed in trans discussions again? When they're Vehemently anti-men or at best just pro-women? And their entire perspective is female based?

Seriously what a handicap to trans messaging letting feminazi's color discussions went. Thank fuck they moved on to being Terfs and most of ya'll wised up. Now we just gotta dissect their shitty 2013 asses out.

Really though, you can't just blanket blame trans people for not being PR people. It's not like trans people have secret meetings or whatever, that's the republican party with mega-corps.

But at some point man, when your goal is to dismantle gender identity but the literal only part anyone knows about ya'll is femboys and chix with dix, anti-masculinity, recognize that, maybe, just maybe, the feminist movement got far too involved shoving too many fingers into the culture and messaging, the anti-masculinity shit is only an extended piece of the old decrepit Feminazis that Very Much Existed and Very Much helped Trump get elected by starting a culture war in the most awful approach anyone has seen yet.

They're fine now, surprisingly, they kicked out their crazies, some of them not most, but the trans movement is genuinely too female populated for them to get a good entire message out.

Really ask yourself the last time men or masculinity actually felt involved in any trans discussions that wasn't Seering with Hate or underlined with disdain. The times of positivity hide behind the veneer of the general opinion by claiming "this is different" but not acknowledging that there's issues To masculinity via culture, that of which you could focus on.

Then scroll down tumblr and try to find literally any posts you can share with a normie friend or family member.

More than likely, you went to your mom, sister, or someone female. If anyone. Males are simply uninvolved in the trans movement, and FtMs are basically handicapped from the start not being essentially groomed into the lifestyle from birth. If you were hugged as a child and told you matter, well sorry, sorry for everyone involved but, you don't have that inherent loner hanging on the edge of your peer's judgements masculinity. Ya just got bravado, not experience.

Being a man is to be judged consistently for not being masculine. Being a man is to be abused and no one care. To be a man is to let yourself get angry and now that's all you ever are.

That happens to females too. But nobody is abandoning you. You're, in the general slob's eyes: "weak and need protected" also "sometimes crazy so give them the slide"

Men get thrown out. Just a fact. That. Is unfortunately true masculinity. Tools. To be broken, unloved, emotional stunted, but most of all, Utterly Terrified but Forced To Push On at gun point.

I am all for dysmantling that, but in order to do so, ya'll motherfuckers gotta start kicking some of the feminazi remains of 2013 out of your community.

And recognize that masculinity is to be taught that empathy and sympathy aren't 'weaknesses' but "exploitable points" that you are groomed into being exactly One Thing at All Times even at Funerals.

Is it all around like that? No, is it some or most? Yes. For every male kid, they are taught to Fuck Off, Shut the Fuck Up, Work, and Take the Blame.

And a FtM simply cannot reach that. They shouldn't either. But to claim male representation without the trauma, I appreciate it. But others will resent the fuck out of it. Like a little brother annoying his way into a dangerous activity, these broken pieces of shit will go out of their way to "initiate" you, and trust me when I say, it's not an initiation but planned murder. Murder of your character, your soul, personality and wit, or your actual physical body.

All that to say, you're a man. But honest to god, how dare you have it incredibly so easy that it was a choice to accept that's who you are. Good for you though truly, wouldn't wish it upon you. Just don't pretend from your judgement that your taught opinion is accurate to the groomed perspective.

The Entirety of the movement as is hinges on the destruction of masculinity in messaging. I'm all for it, but ya'll make it anti-male and too cute for any traumatised dude to listen to. It genuinely sounds whiney. If not, it sounds disingenuous, and not from a place of experience of a born man's own.

What men see from women is them being angry, and still having respect, not fear, not vitriol. They keep friends, they keep their job, and all they needed was an excuse. That don't happen for men. It can, but realistically speaking, the average person is going to shoot the dude without hesitation before any female or FtM regardless of Biological or Neurological knowledge.

Simply put, Men are made to deal with shit and die for nothing. We are told we have no value. And the general trans movement sure loves going out of it's way to shit on the Very Seldom Few things men are allowed to enjoy.

Absolutey, shoe on the other foot, this same conversation in reverse would happen.

The difference is Ya'll are self aware and willing where as men are broken down to apathetic acceptance. Show them you aren't just out for yourself and your girly friends, and start being cool, approachable.

Because their only friends are also, groomed, and traumatized. Their only support networks are echboxes of hustle culture.

Ignore the republicans, ignore the right wingery. Focus on the fact there's no masculine support network. Keep being gay and girly. Just acknowledge that shouldn't be the extent of the trans movement.

Kindness and nice thoughts will only go so far to a war veteran. And obviously men aren't all inherently that, but most are certainly hardened and traumatized with 0 healthcare from the government.

Point is stop making everything so fucking pink and girly and gay if you want anyone to believe you're not just a stupid fanbase making cutesy in-jokes for your online echobox of larpers. You're not. Stop fucking presenting yourselves as weak and pathetic and people will give a shit.

#trans messaging #masculinity

[mangoofthesea]

So I'm rewatching Yuri!!! On Ice for the first time since 2016 and I'm finding it fascinating watching a piece of media while being in a different time of my life is showing me about how my view of the world has changed and giving me a mad level of comparison for my past self vs my present self (heads up this will be a ramble evaluating how I've changed in the last 5 along through contemplating my relationship with how I have experienced watching yoi then )

So firstly let me set out who I was when I first watched yoi. In 2016 I was a lonely, sad 14 year old struggling with my mental health and struggling with feeling much of anything. I watched yoi over a couple nights lying on my bed hanging out in my room as was the only way I existed at that time when not at school. I had joined tumblr the year before but only started using my account at the beginning of that year. This was also the year I had got into fandom but I had not got very deep and it was before I had made any fan content myself either.

I watched yoi and found it awesome, I loved it. It was a fantastic and I also realised that watching something with subtitles kept me engaged more than most anything else.

But I remember being confused by it, because I had heard it was 'the gay skating anime' and to me at that age I couldn't spot a canon gay relationship. I was waiting for a conclusive declaration of 'they are definitely together'. Only when the rings were exchanged at the end was I somewhat like 'yeah that seems pretty close'. But I was so cynical and thought 'well, it's fairly gay but I think it's a bit more fanon than canon' like the fool I was

Watching it a second time has been fascinating and I have honestly been able to appreciate so much more about it than the last time.

Where I'm at now is I'm 19, I have since left the school I was at and gone to college (UK college, not university) and got A levels in English and other analytical subjects which rely on studying what you are given and questioning it. I have been heavily part of many more fandoms in the last 5 years, primarily Supernatural (which you can read into for yourself on how that has changed my outlook on canon/not canon opinion for ships). I have made fan art and headcanons and written more than 80k of fanfic and plus other creative writing and written hundreds of essays on how to read into content into what is said between the lines.

I am also now in a far better place mentally. I have amazing friendships which I couldn't have dreamed of when I first watched this. I have friends both in fandom and out of it, I have an idea of what I'm doing with my life when in 2016 I couldn't see much further than the end of the year. And more than anything the way I am watching this show again is highlighting the difference. I now watch yoi lounging on my sofa in the living room, perched on my dining table in between doing college work and uni research, or curled on my bed before I go to sleep. I no longer feel isolated (even though I do in a different way because of the pandemic meaning I've had to stay inside for almost a year for personal reasons but that's different to what it was then)

It has been fascinating watching yoi in this period of my life. Now knowing what makes something good or bad writing, and also knowing that the way Yuri and Victor behave is not normal for any kind of platonic friendship (rewatching has also helped me realise how much more socially inept I was as well as lacking literary analytical ability as I somehow found it difficult to see victuri as as gay as it is because oh my fuck there is no heterosexuals explanation for so much of this show. I have spent the last few days mentally screaming at my younger self 'you needed friends and critical thinking ability so fucking bad you sad stupid little weirdo').

In addition to this I have also experienced being in a romantic relationship in the last 2 years and the amount that has done for my kinda aro/asexual ass in recognising romantic signals has been a wonder (I just copy and paste compare to my own experiences but it feels like I've been given a cheat code for this stuff it's amazing)

What I'm saying is it is fascinating too watch yoi again now because I can see everything people were picking out then. The words and phrases mean a lot more to me and I understand so much more what's happening. I watched episode 6 today and then spent ages contemplating the point their romantic relationship began and deciding it must have been post Yuri's returning performance to professional skating. I am having FUN picking up the clues, playing connect the dots with the looks and the words and the expressions of love that I couldn't understand as a quiet, sad, and unaware 14 y/o who was doing her best to silence any form of emotion. Watching the creation of what I can now appreciate as a layered piece of writing that is also just FUN to watch.

I am just so enjoying watching this show again and being able to appreciate the fun of this very gay soft show about these two adorable chaotic skaters.

#personal #this has not been proof read i just wanted to talk #molly rambles

[maraudererasmut]

Experiment MJ001

TW: Drug and alcohol use. Mentions of drugs and alcohol use by minors. 

Marjiuana is legal in my country. It has been for a while.

I’ve always been very nervous about things in my life. Not anything in specific, just things in general. I had spend so long being repressed by my parents, I had cotten it in my head that drugs = bad and since marjiuana = drug, QED marjiuana = bad. 

Today, I decided to do something out of the ordinary and purchase a (legal) chocolate bar from the pot store and try it out!

So, I am currently high for the very first time in my life! (I’m in my late 20s)

I had an idea that I thought was brilliant at the time to write Wolfstar fan fiction about Remus getting high for the first time WHILE I was high and see what happened!

I also decided that I’m going to POST IT. Without editing it! (Pure, unadulterated chaos!!!) Now, for your viewing pleasure, the ramblings of a T on Pot. I have no idea if this is good or not. I haven’t read through it yet. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow, read this, regret it and delete it. But until then... enjoy!

((I’m sorry if it’s terrible!!!))

((I am also currently still high while typing this, so I apologize for any errors!!))

Remus had never consumed marjiuana before. Growing up, his parents had been very strict with what kinds of medication he was allowed to consume, particularly in regards to his lycanthropy. “You don’t know how it will affect the wolf, Remus.” “You don’t know what will happen…” “We can’t predict how the wolf will react…” 

Magic had always been the go-to remedies for colds or maladies; Muggle drugs were never to be trusted in the LUpin home.

So when Remus got drunk for the first time, he made sure that his friends were around to help him through the experience. 

Now, in his seventh year of school, Remus finally built up enough courage to ask his friends to, once-again, monitor Remus while he was testing the waters.

Remus sat with the three other Marauders, staring at the brownie in his hand.

“Are you sure this is safe?” he groaned, internally terrified of what may happen. The scent of the brownie wafted through the air, and Remus cursed his wolfish senses as his mind began convincing him that this might be worth it for the chocolate alone.

“”Yeah, I’m sure, Moons…” Sirius teased, licking his lips like a cartoon wolf sizing up a prized pig as he stared at his own brownie.

“Yeah, Pads and I have done this hundreds of times!” James chimed in, already  half way through his. “It’s fine!”

“You’re not werewolves,” Remus grumbled as he turned to Peter. “You’re the sensible one, Wormy. What do you think?”

Peter stared at Remus for a moment before breaking out into a smile. 

“I say fuck it!” he said, taking a bite out of his own brownie. “You only live once, Moons!”

Remus closed his eyes, took a bite from his brownie, chewed and swallowed. 

Nothing happened.

No big bang, no swirling in his brain, no sudden rush of feeling. 

“It’s… not working?” He said, turning to Sirius.

“Give it a bit, Moons! It takes time to work! It’s like alcohol!”

“Okay,” Remus said with a shrug, finishing the rest of his brownie. “So… what do I do until then?”

Sirius shrugged, but his smirk gave him away. He sat back onto the pillows and blankets that they had dragged to the ground, his head resting precariously close to Remus’ lap. He grinned up at Remus before reaching for his wand and giving a lazy flick into the air. 

Sirius’ record player began to spin, and All Along the Watchtower began playing, filling the entire room and seeping into Remus’ bones.

Remus laid back on the pillows, his head next to Sirius’. He closed his eyes and let Hendrix drift through his mind, trying not to let Sirius’ scent drive him crazy. 

Remus didn’t feel anything.

Not for a while.

He didn’t think it was even working.

The boys had spent the next hour talking, chatting, chilling, as they usually do on Saturday evenings. They talked about girls (James complaining about Lily), boys (Sirius’ trists with that Ravenclaw boy), and everything in between (Peter’s insistence that, yes, James, he is still Asexual. And no, James, he doesn’t need to double check.) 

Remus didn’t notice the time passing as he laid on the pillows next to his friends, for the first time in his life actually being able to participate fully. They normally spend evenings hanging out in the middle of the room. James and Sirius always got high. They had since they had discovered Muggle weed last year. Peter had partaken on occasion, but usually insisted that he preferred a couple of beers over weed. Remus, on the other hand, remained sober all night, watching his friends fall into various states of inebriation, testing their limits, seeing new sides of themselves. 

This was his first time.

Remus smiled to himself, thinking about how much fun it is to participate, even if he didn’t know what being high felt like yet. 

“What’re you smiling about?”

Sirius’ voice was practically a purr in Remus’ ear, and he felt his heartbeat quicken. 

“M’not… Not really. Just… happy to be here with you lads....”

“Mmm, same, Moons. Happy to be here… Today’s a good day to be alive…”

“That’s a weird thing to say…” Remus rolled over and looked at Sirius. 

Was Sirius always that handsome? Did his eyes always sparkle silver in their conjured lights? Did his hair always look that soft and touchable? What would happen if Remus touched it? Was his skin always so pale, so milky while, Remus had to resist leaning over and tasting it. Remus edged his arm over slightly, comparing his own freckle-dusted arm to Sirius’. One was slender and perfect and tattooed and lovely. One was broken and scarred and ugly. 

It was no wonder Sirius never noticed Remus.

“Whatya thinkin’ ‘bout?”

Sirius’ voice distracted Remus from his thoughts. 

“Mm? What’d’ya mean?” 

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…

The Who was playing in the background and Remus watched as Sirius’ head bobbed up and down to the music, a wide grin spread across his perfect cheeks. 

“I mean you’re thinkin’ of stuff. We all are… I am… That’s what makes things so cool when you’re high… You think of stuff…”

Remus blinked. What was Sirius even saying? What had he been doing? Was he thinking? He seemed to be thinking…

His brain felt like the needle was skipping across the record. Or that more than one record was playing at a time. Everything that was said out loud was one record in one player, and a vision of him talking to Sirius from a bird’s eye view was another record. And the way the music blended into his brain was another record. 

Was this what being high was?

“I’m thinking of the music… I guess. And… Mrs. Robinson…”

“Ha ha! That’s that one Hufflepuff chick, ya?”

“What? No… it’s… coo coo ca choo?” Remus closed his eyes. His mind was feeling a bit foggy. 

Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes…

“Oh! Yeah! Jesus holds a place for those who pray…”

“Hey hey hey!” James’ voice came from miles away. Or across the room. To Remus, it felt like both at once.

“Yeah,” Remus said with a grin, rolling over onto his left side to face Sirius. “Coo coo choo, Mrs. Robinson….”

“BOYS!” Peter hollered from the other side of the room. “Hot Blooded! This is my jam!”

Remus grinned, listening as the sound of guitar filled the room. He tapped along to the song, watching Sirius watch the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about, Pads?”

Sirius tilted his head towards Remus and gave a wink. 

“That I’m hot blooded,” he said, his tongue resting on his fang. 

“Pfftt… You’re just a horny mutt…” Remus teased. He felt an immediate pang of regret as Remus realized that Sirius was likely horny for a certain Ravenclaw boy. 

“Mmm, bet you are too. Not that you’d ever date anyone… But I bet you’re real bad, Moons… “

Remus rolled his eyes, trying to keep his heart from exploding from his chest with terror. Why was Sirius talking about how horny Remus was? That wasn’t something Sirius ever talked about. 

“You know how it is… not allowed. The whole… furry little problem…”

Oooh, I’m picking up good vibrations, oooh she’s giving me excitations…

“I’ve told you, just date one of us…”

Remus chuckled, trying not to show how much he wished he could. 

“Oh yeah, James would totally ditch Lily for me,” Remus teased, listening to the Beach Boys suddenly start the quiet part of Good VIbrations. 

“I didn’t say date James…”

“Oh, Sorry… Peter then… Yup. That seems like a great idea…”

Good good good good vibrations!!

“Are those really your only choices?”

Sirius was on his side at this point, facing Remus head-on, giving a sly grin. 

Normally, Remus would laugh this off as a joke and change the subject. Perhaps talk about the fact that Sirius had American Woman on his magical mixed-record. 

Today was different though. Today, Remus was feeling a little bolder. A little dizzier. A little more capable of looking at the situation differently.

Most days, from the very beginning of his life, Remus had been taught to be small, demure, less than other people. He knew not to make waves or say what was on his mind, because he was not to draw attention to himself. Today, for the first time in his entire life, Remus was starting to understand what it felt like to be a normal person. Someone who wasn’t a werewolf. Someone who didn’t grow up being told that they had to hide themselves because of societal pressures. Today, he could suddenly just say whatever he thought and felt and there was absolutely nothing keeping him from saying it. 

“I can’t very well date you, Padfoot. What would that poor Ravenclaw boy do without you in his life?”

“Who, Spencer? Nah, we were never an item. Just fooling around…”

“Fine then,” Remus said with finality, trying to shrug while on his side. Whoooo are you? Who who, who who? “I suppose you’re the only person in all of Hogwarts who I can date.” 

Sirius grinned his wicked grin, inching closer to Remus, his eyes positively smouldering. 

“I suppose so. Guess we’re to call it, then. We’re dating now…”

Whooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Aaaawww, who the fuck are you?

“Hear that Prongs,” Remus said, playing along with the joke. “Sirius and I are dating now.”

“Well it’s about goddamn time,” James yelled back.

Remus chuckled to himself, but when he opened his eyes, Sirius was there. In front of him, their noses almost touching… There was a moment…

Whoooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Remus inched closer, rubbing his nose to Sirius’, just playing along, just being silly, just keeping up with the game.

Sirius closed the gap.

Remus sank into the kiss, feeling Sirius’ lips against his own, Sirius’ tongue tasting like chocolate and pot, Sirius’ hands suddenly around his waist. 

Then Remus pulled away.

Who are you? Who who? Who who?

“Who the fuck are you?”

Sirius laughed, pulling himself slightly away from Remus.

“I just wanted to see how far you’d be willing to play along! I didn’t realize you’d actually let me kiss you!”

“Fuck…” Remus swore, starting to feel angry at Sirius. “Shit... I thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Nothing…”

“Maybe what, Remus?”

“Nothing, Sirius.” Sirius’ lips were against Remus’ again, but the werewolf knew better this time. He pulled away, his eyes narrowing. “Stop dicking around.”

“I’m not dicking around…” Sirius whispered, his voice dropping low and rumbly. Remus felt a chill down his spine as House of the Rising Sun played in the background.  

“Don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it,” Remus grumbled, before he had a chance to think about his words and and regret saying him, Sirius was kissing him again. Remus tasted his tongue and lips and the thrill of kissing someone he had wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember. Sirius pulled away, his eyes gleaming and ravenous. 

“I mean it,” he cooed. “I—”

Before he could continue, Remus was pressed into Sirius, taking advantage of his inebriated state and lack of over-thinking. 

“Get a room, you prats!” James called across the room. Remus didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything except the feeling of Sirius’ body against his own, Sirius’ hands around his hips, Sirius’ tongue in his mouth, Sirius’ teeth nipping his lower lip. Everything was Sirius.

Remus closed his eyes and lost himself in his Padfoot. He silently prayed that things could stay this easy forever, but deep inside, he knew that would be a dangerous path to head down...

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #TW: Drug use #marjiuana #getting high for the first time #high writing #T tried pot #it's... wierd #My brain is melting

[kaibacorpbros]

I Don’t See

// For pride month (June) <3 Tw: for alcohol/drinking but nothing negative happens from it nor does anyone get really impaired. Also warning for people not knowing or understanding the Ace-spec, but nothing extreme. Just for some background info though: Many business deals in Japan are settled over drinks, it’s a cultural thing. Also when drinking saké it’s customary in Japan to get one bottle for everyone and you pour it for each other in small glasses, which is a common/expected thing.

This was always one of his least favorite parts of his job. Why couldn’t they do things like America and make business deals in a normal setting? Like, perhaps an actual boardroom?

But no, the strictness of the culture had forced him to this. It was the only thing he missed about being underage, he could use it as an excuse to not do meetings in bars. He supposed he did see the advantages however, loosening someone’s tongue and mind definitely made the chances of turning a deal in his favor. But that was where the positives ended. He hated the noise--even if it was a small one like today--he hated the smell of alcohol, he hated having to pretend he was drinking more then he was due to not having the greatest tolerance in the world.

Not the worst, but it wasn’t exactly suited for a long night of negotiations. That’s why he’d just paid full price for the bartender water down his drink and why he avoided the shared saké.

Seto’s mind was all on the end result, he wasn’t interested in being buddies with these men. He was here to play the game, win, and leave them with the short end of the stick in the deal. 

They would have no one to blame but themselves.

It was all going as normal, the same motions, the same faked politeness and interest in their lives until Seto could close in on the deal and get the heck out.

All normal. All well. Until a woman walked into the bar.

Seto had heard the phrase “turning heads” but he’d never seen it happen to five men at once all at the same lady. 

He didn’t get it.

She walked by, ordered a drink, and took a seat in a faraway booth. Likely waiting for a friend. Perhaps it was the revealing dress or perhaps it was was the alcohol, but Kaiba’s business partners took a while to stop staring.

Bored, Kaiba watched the liquid swirl in his cup. He just wanted to get what he came for and leave. This was his first mistake.

“Kaiba, look, did you see her?”

“I did, can we continue where we left off?”  

His flat tone was met with several “Ehhhhh’s?”

All eyes were on him. 

He could feel it.

“What? Look at her! She’s too good to be true she’s like a model! I bet she is one too! You really don’t think she’s hot?”

Very quickly Kaiba was regretting his decision to get his drink watered down. He’d get a proper one next round.

“If you could focus, we have a deal to finish.” This was like wrangling cats.

“Come on,” said another, “Nothing wrong with admiring. You gotta think at least something is sexy about her, look at those legs!”

This was happening. 

“I don’t know. Her hair is nice.” 

“Mm-mm not bad of course. But that’s really what you’re going to focus on? Oh wait, or is she too old and mature for you? Prefer the cuter ones, do you?” 

Seto had long since stopped paying attention to who was talking. But he did know his mother would have stomped on that man’s toes so hard they would bruise if she heard that comment.

“That’s not it. I’m just not interested. Can we move on?”

They did not.

“Not interested in a supermodel, and you don't like saké? You're so weird! Then who is to your taste?” Kaiba was sure the man wouldn't have had the gall to say that if he was sober. Despite the statement being non-hostile, something in it pressed a nerve.

His business partner started to list off several actresses and other celebrity women, only some of which Seto’s mind could conjure up an image of. It wasn’t like he spent much time watching movies. 

“None of them? I don’t even know them, nor do they know me.”

He should have just picked one whose looks were unique and just act as if he was picky for just that. He should have seen what was about to start.

“Oh... I see--”

Kaiba’s glass hit the table audibly. “I’m not gay.”

He’d considered it, of course. He figured he was always either too young or too invested in keeping the company afloat or dealing with magical bullshit in order to pay much attention to women. But once all that had ended he still didn’t do what these men were doing. But when Seto directed his attention at men nothing happened either. 

Presuming it was possibly due to his few connections, he even starting running through everyone he significantly knew, once. Presenting himself with a hypothetical “what if” they were to make advances on him if he would find them attractive. People from high school crossed his mind. So did people he knew from work. But none of that did anything either.

He could feel their gazes on him, trying to break him down, get him to crack. Vermin. 

He didn’t know what it was, but something in him hated this.

So he did what he should have done when this had all started, what he always did in front of a camera. 

A sneer plastered across his face with no effort. “I just have higher standards than you. Really now, actors are always finicky, they’re breaking up with people all the time. It’s like a game to them. And a Hollywood lifestyle? Tedious, I’d never get anything done. Half to them have IQ of a frog and only got as far as they did due to their face anyway. I need someone that won’t bore me and can actually aid the company. But if you all are satisfied with chasing after whatever woman you start gawking at, have fun.”

Perfect. _____

He walked away with the best deal out of all of them. As always.

A bit tipsier than usual, Isono inquired how he was as he drove him back. “I’m fine, I didn’t have enough to get sick or anything.” He knew, because he always counted, as per Isono’s insistence. Although that didn’t mean he wanted to do anything but get back to his apartment, choke down some water and maybe some food and promptly crash.

When they had arrived and were safely inside, Kaiba dug out the notes he’d taken on all the details and gave him to his right hand for safekeeping and for double-checking the finished copy of the contract. He wished Mokuba were here to vent his annoyances to.

Isono glanced over it before tucking it away. “Impressive work, as usual.”

“Hrmph. And a pain in the ass.”

“No one can do it quite as well as you, sir. I believe you can at least take satisfaction in that.”

And Kaiba would. Tomorrow he’d look over what he’d accomplished and laugh at how he’d managed to pry an advantage out of those fools. But for now, he was tired. While Isono’s words were one of encouragement, that’s not what he wanted right now. 

“Isono, how’d you meet your wife again?”

Taken aback, it took the man a moment to answer. His boss wasn’t uncaring about his personal life, but it wasn’t something he ever focused on. He wouldn’t disobey or stall an order though.

“In high school, sir. Her friends introduced us. As friends first, but she was very cute and I quickly grew attracted. But her family moved so nothing ever happened for quite a while. Until I ran into her again years later. Neither of us was seeing someone at the time so not too long after reconnecting we started going out. And... the rest just happened.”

Seto just nodded, his gaze focused on no particular item resting on the kitchen counter as he propped himself up against the wall.

“Was... that helpful sir?”

“Indeed. You can go, Isono. See you on Monday.”

His right hand lingered for a moment longer, clearly torn on what to do before turning to leave. Seto figured he didn’t want to intrude or step on his boundaries. As he passed, he pressed a brief two fingers to the back of Seto’s wrist. “Get some rest sir. Tomorrow’s Saturday. Take some actual time off and sleep in a bit. Speaking of, it’s been so long since she’s seen you the missus has wanted to cook for you again. I’ll bring something over for you for dinner tomorrow.”

With that, he was gone.

Seto did the bare minimum of his nightly routine before collapsing in bed. But sleep still hid from him. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much now. He’d always brushed off talk of relationships and such. Such things weren’t important to him. There were always more important matters, and people only ever wanted him for the company. That was it. 

That was always it.

Thus it didn’t matter, nor did he want it to. But apparently, he was the weird one here.

Why? 

Everyone was seeing something that he couldn’t, pointing, look it’s so obvious it’s right there, see?

He shouldn’t be letting such things bother him. But his brain denied him sleep, so he fished his phone off the table.

A few searches later, he found himself down a rabbit hole.

But the more he read, the further he poked, the clearer the picture became. He wasn’t just weird. There were other people who felt the same. Maybe not many in the grand scheme of things, but a significant number to not be labeled as an insignificant error, said his scientific mind.

And that was all he needed at the moment. The finer details he could figure out later if he ever did get in a relationship. He wasn’t against such a notion. It was just nothing had ever prompted him to engage in such a thing and given his circumstances, it was difficult to find anyone he could, and would trust. But he certainly remembered the teamwork, trust, and love his parents had for each other. And if it was something like that, he certainly wouldn’t mind it. 

But he was also perfectly fine if things stayed as they were, and he died having never having a partner. He wasn’t missing out on anything, and quite frankly, he had his plate full as is.

Knowing he was somewhere on the asexual spectrum was enough, and he was comforted. _____

// I don’t usually go on long rambles at the ends of ficlets, but I believe it is necessary here. This was surprisingly, very easy to write, despite it being so close to home. I suppose it’s the whole ‘write what you know’ thing. This is very much inspired by a personal experience I had at school with a group of then-friends when we went out for food. The “Not interested in basically a supermodel, and you don't like saké? You're so weird!”, is honestly just a bit of a rewording of something I actually had said to me during that outing. While I honestly do not think the person who said it had malicious intent, it became clear to me after that they had previously not thought about the possibility that not everyone thinks the same way or desires the same things. Several other instances were also inspired by things I’ve experienced as well. All in all, though, I’ve been quite fortunate, and haven’t had any outright hate directed at me yet.

If it wasn’t clear, my Seto is a panromantic demisexual but doesn’t know all the details yet, but he’ll figure that out as he goes along. After all, its a process. Seto’s perfectly at peace with his orientation as of discovering this, it’s not this “will it happen, won’t it?” thing when it comes to romantic relationships (haha, unlike me). Also, ironically, the last line is a reference to the similar line in the book of Job. If a relationship happens of him it happens, if t doesn’t it just doesn’t.   I won’t go into the specifics here, (because that would be quite long) but feel free to message me about it or drop me an ask if your curious or would like more details or even questions in general about the ace-spectrum,  I have no qualms discussing that sort of thing, in fact, I love to.

If you resonated with any of this and/or are questioning your identity or would even just like to know more, this site answers just about every question you could ever have(x).  And of course, my inbox and IM’s are open as well and I’m happy to answer questions, even if you think they’re weird <3

Try to be mindful of others and that there are few universals in the world, especially when it comes to sexual desires and attraction. Be mindful and think before you speak and possibly alienate someone, is all I ask. Happy pride 💜

#(do not reblog) #(likes and comments are encouraged though!) #( this uhh turned into something way longer then i meant woops) #drabbles #KC files [Lore] #lore #big bro [seto] #right hand of Kaiba Corp [Isono] #tw: alcohol #v; divided #legacy [drabbles]

[fearfearer]

more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don’t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

[glamrockmonarch]

Requested - Dating 70’s Ace!Deaky

Request: You said anything was fair game, so here’s something a little outside the norm :P I’m ace, & I’ve seen some fics/headcanons where Deaky is also ace. Can you do something fluffy for ace!Deaky and an ace reader? (Preference is for both to be ace, but if not, then at least an ace reader) How you met, general relationship stuff, etc. I picture 70s-era Deaky, but idk if it makes more sense to set it then or in a modern AU or something. Hope you can make some sense of my rambling, and thanks again! :D - @smittyjaws

A/N: Thank you for requesting this one! I had never written or read an ace fic before so I had to check myself before I wrecked myself educate myself (much needed, thank you!) and try my best! I hope you like it, I made it a bit general but I think it’s quite cute!

You met through friends. You were a regular at Kensington market and knew Freddie and Roger, and one day when you swing by their band mates were there.

“This is Y/N!” Freddie introduces you, “Come on, darling, don’t be shy, Rog’s the only one who could ever bite you and behaves, doesn’t he? These are Brian and John.”

You and Deaky sort of just happened naturally. You would sit next to John talking about anything, always joking and laughing.

Brian takes pride on being the one who predicted it.

“You two,” he pointed at the two of you one day. You were sitting on John’s lap and straddled him while you helped him put on his makeup. “Are you dating already?”

You were not.

Although you were close, you hadn’t told John about your asexuality. Freddie was the only one who knew about it.

John asked you out before you got the chance to tell him.

He is the sweetest so you ended up coming out to him after one of the band’s concerts. He was excited and sweaty and just wanted to hold you close, so he pretty much lifted you up and spun you for a moment with a big smile on his face as you giggled in his arms.

“I’m...I don’t...” you struggled, but John’s hand squeezed yours and his eyes gave you a gentle glance. It was almost as if he knew. Which he did. Thanks to Freddie.

“I’m asexual, John...” you looked away and frowned.

“And?” That made you incredibly mad, your stare shot up to his face but softened a second afterwards, “so am I!”

You had been nervous because dating straights never ended well, at the very least they would call you crazy.

It all went sooo smooth afterwards. You were each other’s confidant and best friend.

John was a lot more comfortable with touching you than he was with kissing. Mainly because when he touched you it was to feel your presence or let you know he was there.

Speaking of...your first kiss! It happened one night when he came home from the studio. At the time you would sleep at each other’s place intermittently so he had a key and all. While he slipped into bed next to you and tried not to wake you, you did wake up and opened your eyes to see him there. His hair was a fluffy mess and you let out a giggle at him.

“Glad you think I’m funny...” he commented.

Just at that moment and still giggling you pressed your lips to his with your fingers barely brushing his cheek.

“I love you”, you mumbled before falling back asleep.

You liked to kiss him for the same reasons he would touch you. And although it was not sexual for you, kissing him felt good, the feeling of his lips against yours and the soft blow of his breaths on your face were a wonderful reminder that you were in complicity with each other, shamelessly in love.

Usually he puts his hand on your thigh and turns his palm up so you put your hand on his. When you don’t he squeezes your knee as if to say “hey!”.

You are the big spoon, he likes the warmth and you enjoy nuzzling your nose into his hair.

Deaky builds or fixes lots of things around the house.

Because you move forward with your relationship rather quickly and the two of you are living together in no time.

Since the band still plays some bars, there isn’t always space for everyone so you sit down on John’s lap. When you do, you lean back and rest your head on his shoulder while he wraps his arms around you. Sometimes he pats your stomach, making you feel like a child.

John kisses your temple A LOT.

When you are there for band practice you sit quietly watching them all go. If you happen to get distracted they’ll know because you will start making faces at John.

It distracts him an awful lot.

The guys know better than to ask John about your relationship but that doesn’t stop Roger from asking you once you are comfortable enough to tell them all that you are ace.

“So...uh...do you...not feel like a girl or...?” Roger felt stupid asking - you could tell, but he was trying to make sense of what you said. You knew him well enough to see that this was not meant to anger you.

“No,” you smiled at him, “I feel girly as a daisy, Rog! It means that I am not interested in sex.” He frowned and leaned forward in his seat.

“And how does that work with Deacon?”

You laugh, “he is okay with it. You see, you can have sex without love.” You explained and he nodded in agreement, “just as you can have it the other way around. And that’s what we have, and we like it, and we enjoy it.” You shrug.

“Oh, dear...” Rog looks up at the ceiling, “I’m too much of a caveman for that!”

John is a helpless romantic, he will do anything for you. Usually you have a base with fresh flowers in the living room and whenever you have time John will take out his acoustic guitar and play something for you.

On the weekends you listen to the radio in the morning and dance together like a pair of fools, John is a fair better dancer than you but it doesn’t stop him from spinning you around and whispering how much he loves you into your ear when a slow song comes on.

You cook together all the time. On especial occasions the guys are over and they help in the kitchen as well (at least they try), to them you seem like a wonderful happy pair floating around each other with jokes and smiles and small brushes of each other’s hands.

Sometimes you feel bad after visiting your family because they worry something might be wrong with you, in all reality they mean well but cannot understand you. John knows this and when it happens he will pull you close and let you rest your head on his chest, soothing you by rubbing circles on your back and kissing the top of your head.

When he needs to calm down, let out some steam or sulk he goes to find you and talks about it while you run your fingers through his hair.

Your family likes John very much, although they do not approve of him being in a band.

John’s family loves you because he comes out of his shell when you’re around.

He stays in bed for a few minutes longer when he gets morning wood, he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it thinking you might be uncomfortable, although one day you put two and two together and have to reassure him that you know it’s normal and not something he can control.

You are comfortable with each other and that’s all you both care for.

Ahhhh, I hope I didn’t blow it!

Requests are open!

#bohemian rhapsody #borhap #headcanon #queen #queen fanfiction #fanfic #john deacon #deaky x reader #deaky imagine #request #requested #70’s deaky #ace!deaky #ace!reader

[nerdforestgirl]

Raj’s anxiety felt like physical thing in his chest as he sprayed his bare arms with sunscreen.  He was out to his friends.  He was out to some of his family.  And everyone who knew that Raj was bisexual and in a relationship with a wonderful man still loved and supported him.   Still, Raj couldn’t help but feel a little anxious about going to the Pride parade with Lincoln.  He worried that people would say he didn’t really belong since he was bi. There was also still the worry that someone unsavory might find out about him and hurt him.

“Ready to go, babe?” Lincoln asked Raj.  “You look cute,” he added when he saw Raj in his tank top reading “I’m bisexual.  I have anxiety around girls and boys.”  Apparently Penny bought it for him not long after he came out.  It was some kind of old joke that Lincoln didn’t understand.  Still, Raj laughed like a fool when Penny gave it to him.

“I don’t look stupid?” Raj asked.

“Not at all.  Plus it’s going to be hot.  Just like you,” Lincoln said.  He gestured to his own shorts and rainbow t-shirt combination.   Normally neither of them would dress like that, but it would be over 90 degrees, so lighter clothes made sense.  Plus, Lincoln knew it was fun to be part of a community.

Raj nodded and they headed out the door together.

After the pair got out of the car at the parade, they saw some people protesting.   Raj’s anxiety became a harder and heavier brick in his chest.  Then he noticed that the protesters were mostly being ignored.  A few counter protesters were nearby.  Along with a lot of couples who looked happy as they held hands.  They looked at home.  Maybe that could be Raj’s home too.  He slipped his hand into Lincoln’s as they walked past the protesters.  There was nothing wrong about Raj’s life, and he decided to be like the rest of these people and show that.

“Come on, babe.  They’re waiting for us,” Lincoln said as he dragged Raj along through the crowd.

“Who?” Raj asked.  He didn’t know that they were meeting any of Lincoln’s friends.  Then he saw Sheldon’s head above the crowd. “My friends?  But they aren’t gay,” Raj said.

“They wanted to support you,” Lincoln explained.

When they got closer, Raj could see that Amy, Leonard, Penny, Howard, and Bernadette were also there.  Penny was wearing a t-shirt that said, “I like my men how I like my women,” and Sheldon had a small pin on his messenger bag that was black, gray, white, and purple.  It seemed his friends fit in here more than he knew.  All this time he felt very alone.  Maybe if he had said something earlier, they would have understood.

“What is the pin for, Sheldon?” Raj asked.

“Asexual flag,” Sheldon explained.  He had found a community of likeminded people online years before, but he had never really found the need to advertise it before.  However, Penny, Raj, and Lincoln were wearing emblems of their sexualities, so he thought he would also join in.

“But you’re married,” Raj wondered out loud.

“I only have coitus with my wife once a year, and only after five years together.  It’s not as if asexuality makes my genitals nonfunctional. I still enjoy myself with Amy,” Sheldon countered.  Then he squeezed Amy’s hand in his. She knew about his sexuality long before they were married because he thought it was important to talk to her about it.  It impacted her.  The rest of his friends, not so much.

Raj nodded.  He had known Sheldon a long time.  Fifteen years now.  It made a lot of sense.

“And you?” Raj asked as he turned to Penny.

“I never hid it.  I have a preference for men, and now that I’m married to one, I’m as off the market as if I was straight.  That doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to women.” Penny had told them stories about being with women before.  It wasn’t a phase or an experiment.  She had genuinely enjoyed it even if she was happy with her husband now.

Leonard kissed his wife’s cheek because he was proud of her.  Just like he was proud of Raj.  Though he did not kiss the latter.

“Awesome,” Raj said.  He gave both Sheldon and Penny high fives for being open about who they were.  He couldn’t even think about the brick that of anxiety that sat on his chest earlier.  Instead, he turned toward the parade was starting. That was even more people who unapologetically themselves.

Raj felt himself there. He didn’t even mind it when Lincoln rested his hands on his hips while they watched the parade.  Instead, he just leaned back into Lincoln’s chest.  Raj knew that this was an inherently political event, but it also felt like home.  He finally felt like he could be himself.  When someone shoved a goody bag of condoms and lube into Raj’s hands, he giggled and passed them back to Lincoln for later.  If that had happened somewhere else, Raj might have died of embarrassment.

“Babe, ready to go home?” Lincoln asked at the end of the long day.

“I am home,” Raj told him.  He didn’t want to let this go.  He didn’t want to go back to the brick of anxiety.  Then he looked at Penny and Sheldon and he remembered that this was always happening all around him.  He wasn’t the only bi guy dating a gay guy in the world.  He could find this the rest of the year too.

#NFG fan fiction #raj/lincoln fic #please don't yell at me about making sheldon self identify as ace because i promise you that it doesn't change the way he feels about amy

[royalprinceroman]

Totally Illogical

So… I saw (and read!) so many simple one-shots with the prompt from @logically-asexual (this post here) in which Virgil has to be comforted after watching Roman ‘die’ on stage at a production. While I can see (and absolutely adore) this relationship here, my mind kept telling me something.

What about Mr. Literal? The one who takes everything super seriously? What about…Logan?

Basically this is me saying “I see your Prinxiety and raise you Logince.”

Please enjoy~

Word Count: 2,295 Fandom/Pairing: Sanders Sides // Logince Tag List: @availe, @anxious-patton, @introverts-assemble, @pattonspuns (This is my general tag list, not for my other fic The Corruption of Creativity - let me know if you like to be added or removed to this list!)

Logan had so many things he’d rather be doing at the moment.

Thomas’s schedule for the following month still needed to be ironed out completely as well as sorting some of the newly found knowledge that was flowing in at a decent rate, thanks to the new astronomy class Thomas had been taking.

But no, Logan was currently being dragged by the arm into a theatre. Patton wore a big smile on his face as he looked around the building – even Logan had to admit how amazing it looked. When Roman went all out in his room, he left no stone unturned. The theatre was something out of a movie that took place in the 1950s: large lights flashing everywhere, gold and red trimmings around all of the entrances and so… many… people.

Roman didn’t hesitate to add so many humans into this part of his world. So many discussions, pushing and shoving. As the romantic and fanciful side, the prince did nothing half way. Logan felt like he was actually in the real world with Thomas, not in the mindscape. It was pretty intimidating and part of him felt actually happy that Virgil had been called to assist Thomas with something. This would’ve been pretty overwhelming for him.

“I’m so happy Roman decided to invite us to see this!” Patton squealed as the pair found their reserved seats towards the front of the theatre. “I can’t wait to watch him perform.”

Logan shrugged, taking his seat. “I’m not sure. There’s only so much of this professional make-believe I can stomach at once.”

Patton frowned, and lowered his gaze to the logical trait. “Oh come on Logan… lighten up a bit! I know it’s not your “thing” but just enjoy it for Roman. He’s been working on this for so long, you know?”

That was fair to say. Roman had been planning this performance for weeks. He had rattled off a lot of information just a few nights before at dinner, but Logan had kind of blocked him out. It wasn’t on purpose of course; his mind was just preoccupied with more… concerning issues.

Abruptly, the lights dimmed and a single person walked up onto the stage in front of the closed curtains and began to speak. They told of a prince, who abandoned his kingdom, to save his subjects from his own father. To do so, he had to traverse mountains, valleys, and many more obstacles to gain a mystical staff to overpower and take down his family. A typical story of a hero, Logan noted.

The introduction ended and the curtain parted, showing the stage as well as Roman in a prince garb more suited to a Disney prince than what he normally wore, which was surprising.

As the story passed, Logan found himself oddly immersed. Normally he would critique the obnoxious acting and over usage of dramatic effects, but Roman was… pretty amazing. Logan hadn’t ever really considered how talented and how 'at home’ Roman was on stage. The words flowed from him with such conviction, as if he really was a prince trying to save his homeland. His emotions were very genuine. The prince had also chosen the seats for Patton and Logan well; the logical trait had a full unobstructed view of the stage which only helped cement how real it seemed.

About halfway through the play, the King appeared on top of a tall mountain, giving him a very authoritative vibe. His sneer down at the audience was dark and Logan couldn’t lie that he felt a shiver go down his spine.Why did this feel so unnecessarily real? It was a play. Just a play.

“That son of mine… how dare he do this?!” the King snarled, throwing his cape around his shoulder. “I will not tolerate any kind of disobedience! Servant, come!”

A very meek young boy came running up to him looking even smaller than he actually was just because of how large of a person the King was. “Yes-Yes sir?” He asked.

“It’s time for my son to learn his place in the world. It is time for the poison.” the King said darkly. “Ricin is more than suitable for him – a miserable death for a miserable boy.”

Ricin?

It’s now time for the impossible to occur. Logan thought, crossing his arms and legs.

Up until that point Logan had been able to look past the stage and actually into the story but now his logical reasoning was taking hold in his mind. Ricin was a very dangerous poison for sure, however there was no way everything after this could be anywhere near realistic, especially with the amount of time it took for Ricin poison to take affect. Logan couldn’t say he wasn’t disappointed – even though he preferred realism, sometimes just a bit of fantasy was okay. He’d never let Roman know that fact.

The play continued to its climax, the meek boy from earlier meeting up with Roman’s character and befriending him. As the play continued, Logan paid a bit more attention to Roman.

It was strange.

Roman’s acting was impeccable for sure, but there was something else. His skin had started to take on a bluish tint, but he hadn’t even left the stage once in nearly 45 minutes. Beads of sweat had begun to appear on his forehead, and his breathing was extremely labored, his voice taking on a breathy tone. None of the other characters seemed to notice.

Logan felt his heart skip a beat and he gripped his own arms tightly.

What if, because Roman is such a 'extra’ person, he actually created the poison? What if he was putting himself in harm’s way for accuracy?

The play continued on as the Prince arrived back to his kingdom with the staff needed to slay his father and save his people. His skin was even bluer at this point, Logan noted, and Roman still hadn’t left the stage. It couldn’t have been makeup – when could it have possibly been applied? Logan abruptly realized that he was sitting on the edge of his seat, his left leg bouncing wildly.

“My son! How are you planning on getting rid of me…” the King taunted. “…in your current state…?”

The prince looked at his hands and arms, and scoffed, a smile appearing on his face as a bead of sweat fell down his cheek. “…you think I don’t know you’ve poisoned me?” The king’s face fell; his eyes narrowed. “Father, I know you’ve been trying to get rid of me ever since I’ve started this journey and I don’t have much time left….”

Logan’s eyes widened. He could actually see Roman’s skin getting bluer with his own eyes. You stupid illogical fool… you actually did this, didn’t you? His mind began to race.

“This staff will speed up time! It will cause you to age and you will die!” The prince shouted, pointing the staff at his father. “…in doing so, the poison will spread through my body faster and I will die as well! But this world will finally be free from your tyranny!”

Suddenly an abrupt wind took hold of the stage and a blinding light came from the staff head, enveloping the king in a red glow. Logan raised his fingers to his mouth – the king’s skin was aging right in front of his eyes. Wrinkles appeared and the skin began to sag horribly as age took hold. The king screamed, his agony echoing throughout the theatre.

How is this real? What is going on? Logan thought as the king character disappeared behind a very tall mountain towards the back of the stage.

The prince dropped the staff and it clattered loudly, bringing everyone’s attention to him. His skin was nearly completely blue at this point. Roman walked towards the mountain, his legs wobbly. He coughed into his hands, the force shaking his entire body. Blood and mucus covered him but the prince seemed none too worried. His face was pained but he wore a smile across his face. Roman turned to the audience.

“My kingdom… will be safe. They will prosper…” he trailed off. His right hand gripped his chest as his left hand covered his mouth as he coughed more blood. “…I am…happy.”

Suddenly his legs gave out and he fell to his knees, collapsing completely onto his chest. His hand was outstretched towards…Logan.

Logan met gazes with Roman as the prince’s eyes glossed over. The music that had been playing in the background swelled as the curtain began to close. The audience began to applaud loudly as the music came to an end. Logan felt everyone around him stand to continue clapping at the amazing performance they all just saw, Patton included.

The logical trait looked at his hands and all he could see was Roman’s last expression before the curtain closed. He tried to reason with himself – it was a play… it was just professional make-believe. The blue skin was makeup (but it had appeared without anyone applying it) the sweat was just water (but where had it come from) the blood and mucus was just more makeup (but it had been coughed up on the spot… the iron smell could not be ignored).

“Logan!”

He jerked his head at the sound of his name, turning towards the source: Patton.

“Hey… are you okay?” Patton questioned, his eyes full of concern. “…Logan… are you…” The moral side sat back down in his seat, reaching his hand out towards Logan. “… are you crying?”

Logan immediately shook his head in denial but instantly felt a small drop roll down his face.

Why am I crying?

What is this burning in my chest?

What is happening?

Why…?

This is… totally illogical.

“Oh my…” Patton put his hand onto Logan’s which was on his still bouncing knee. “…was that a bit much for you? I have to admit Roman did a fantastic job with this performance. I was really impressed by our creative kiddo!” Patton said with a smile.

Logan just stared at the floor, Patton’s words helping to ground him.

“Patton! Logan!”

Both men turned towards the left side of the stage to see Roman jogging towards them. Logan realized at that moment that the entire theatre was empty save for the three of them. The creative side jumped down from the stage to the floor to their seats in the second row.

Roman wore a huge smile across his face, the beads of sweat still on his forehead and the bluish tint to his skin still there. The closer he got.. the faker it looked. Logan stood along with Patton as Roman stopped in front of them. He pushed his hand through his bangs to get them out of his eyes.

“So… did you like it?” Roman asked eagerly, his voice still breathy. “I went with a more dramatic story this time and tried to lock in as much realism as possible. I wasn’t sure if it would really come across that way so-” Roman abruptly stopped talking as he felt Logan’s hand touch his own. “…what’s up, Specs?” The prince asked. He noticed how Logan’s eyes had a slight redness to them. “…are you alright?”

Logan didn’t answer as he inspected Roman’s skin. He rubbed his fingers across the bluish tint on Roman’s arm, inspecting his fingertips to see that the blue was in fact a type of paint. Logan then turned his attention to Roman’s forehead, inspecting the sweat. In Roman’s hair was a small strip that looked a bit like a balloon with pin pricked holes in it, clipped in place by a couple of bobby-pins. Then Logan looked closer at the sides of Roman’s face where some of the blood had dried. Upon looking closer, it definitely looked more like chocolate with a bit of red dye mixed in.

He couldn’t hold it back anymore.

Logan laughed. It started light and airy before just a boastful laughter that shook him to his core. Of course it had all been fake – it was a play for goodness sake! He felt tears rolling down his face but Logan couldn’t care less. How totally illogical he had been while watching. Of course Roman hadn’t died. Of course he was here with them.

Patton and Roman looked at each other and both smiled sheepishly before looking back to Logan.

“I am… a very ridiculous fool.” Logan replied after taking a shaky breath, ignoring the tears still rolling slowly down his face.

Roman shook his head. “I don’t think that’s true, Logan. I know you don’t like these “professional make-believe” shows… but your reaction is definitely what I, as a performer, strive for.” The prince grabbed Logan’s shoulder and pulled him into an embrace.

Logan’s eyes widened in shock of the sudden physical contact but the warmth felt… nice. Roman was here. He didn’t die on stage. Logan was enveloped in a familiar smell. It was the scent of rain and forest, the familiarity of his fellow trait who was still here. Logan felt Patton join in on the hug, the scent of sugar cookies and lavender filling his nose. The two pulled away from Logan, and Roman put his hand on the logical trait’s face, rubbing away a stray tear.

The three of them just stood there with each other, taking time to chat to calm the atmosphere.

Logan returned to his room in the mindscape later that night, realizing something very important. He had found a new appreciation for performance and a new appreciation for the romantic trait in a way he never thought he would.

Sometimes things were illogical, like professional make-believe, but that didn’t make it wrong to enjoy them.

#sanders sides #ts fanfiction #ts fanfic #logan sanders #roman sanders #logince #my writing #my fic #this could've been better #but yeah this is what you get #i just had to write it #very ooc but i don't care at this point #vigilantvirgil writes

[lothiriel84]

Let’s talk about amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is “the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types” (x)

Let me be very clear: I’m in no way an expert on the matter - quite the opposite, probably. I just happened to read a bit about it, and now I would very much like to say a few words about how much it resonated with my personal experience.

The thing is, I grew up taking a lot of things for granted. One of them was that romantic love was the most magical, exciting, fulfilling thing a human being could experience. That’s how it’s presented in fiction, after all - and who wouldn’t want to get their share of such a perfect, mythical chimera that’s supposed to completely turn your life around, and hopefully for the better?

Of course I hoped that one day, against all odds, I would finally find my very own Prince Charming. That one of those special people I had a ‘crush’ on would eventually notice me (or shall we say, take pity on me?), and - 

And, what, exactly?

In hindsight, it’s blindingly obvious that a romantic relationship was most definitely not what I would have wanted from them. That I was, and still am, very poorly equipped to define what 'romance’ is all about, and how it differs from the various forms of plationic attachment.

I had no idea back then. They were people of the opposide gender, and I liked them - I thought that was proof enough I had romantic feelings for them. Because that’s what people do. Because that’s how the world is presented to you ever since you’re a small child. 

I used to think that wanting to be close to them, maybe even to be able to kiss them on the cheek if I wanted to, equated to being attracted to them. I didn’t even know sexual and romantic attraction were two separate things. I guess I just assumed sex was something you would eventually want to try at some point during a relationship. 

I am now pretty sure I am asexual, and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. I didn’t even know those things existed up until around two years ago. That’s one of the many good things about fandom - it has actually given me the chance to learn a few important things about myself, and my own identity. To start seeing things from a different perspective.

People in the streets don’t know the first thing about aromanticism and asexuality. Or at least, most of them don’t. And would most definitely not believe you if you tried to explain it to them.

“Of course you want a boyfriend. You just don’t want to admit it.”

Has it ever occurred to you I might be into girls rather than boys? Or even - audible gasp! - neither of those options? (Not that it is a particle of your business, anyway.)

“Everyone wants sex/a romantic relationship.”

Uhm, I guess the majority of people do. I don’t though, and I’m not the only one. (Still none of your business.)

“Stop holding back, or you’ll never be happy.”

Yeah, I see how blissfully happy the lot of you are. That’s clearly the reason why you can’t find a better use of your time than to harass me with your unwarranted questions and unasked advice, is it?

If any of those people were anywhere near as concerned about my happiness as they claimed, they would at least bother to acknowledge that I should be capable of taking my own decisions. That however much of a failure I may be as a ‘proper adult’, it still has nothing to do with my lack of interest in a romantic relationship. That being or having been in a relationship is not the sine qua non of either adulthood or mental sanity. That even if I was consciously denying myself the ‘joys’ of romance for whatever reason, it was still my own decision to take, and mine only.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m done with random people asking me whether I have a husband or boyfriend, and then proceeding to ask me why not. (In what universe is that an appropriate question, exactly?) Of people telling me I shouldn’t let my family history discourage me from seeking out a romantic partner. (Never mind that they’re the first ones to be unhappy about their own present, or past, relationships.)

And you know what’s the worst part about this? That the supremacy of romance over any other form of relationship - with the possible exception of parent-child relationships - is so deeply ingrained in our society that it’s only natural people will always choose their spouse/partner over their friends. It’s kind of expected that at some point in life friendship will take a back seat to romantic relationships and family, and if you’re lucky enough to keep in contact at all you should probably count your blessings. 

Of course I don’t want to end up alone. That doesn’t mean I’m going to seek out a romantic partner as some sort of antidote to loneliness. And I may be confused about my feelings for some people, but I’m pretty sure that I would run for the hills if any sort of romantic relationship was ever laid on the table. 

(I am actually incredibly grateful I’ve never found myself in a situation where I had to decide whether I would ever consider pursuing a relationship with someone I care about. Even when I was convinced I had a crush on someone, I would never act on it for fear of losing their friendship - because that was what mattered the most to me.)

And, yes, platonic crushes - or squishes, as they’re usually called - are an actual thing. You might like someone very much, admire them, want to be ‘with’ them - maybe even find them aesthetically pleasing, because aesthetic attraction is not the same thing as romantic attraction - all of this without being ‘in love’ with them. 

Maybe we should stop saying ‘something more’ when we refer to romantic attachment. Maybe people should try and mind their own business, and stop telling everyone how to live their life. Maybe we should all know better than to attach the concept of happiness to romance and relationships.

Stop fooling yourself. You’re not a half, waiting for some magic entity to complete you. You already are complete as a person, and you’re in charge of your own happiness. We should all know better than to expect another human being to embody our happiness. (And that goes for allosexual/alloromantic people too.)

Aromantic people are valid. Asexual people are valid. We are not broken. We’re not incapable of love. 

We matter. And we deserve representation, just as much as any other orientation.

Don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. 

#Aromantic Awareness Week #Arospec Awareness Week #Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week #amatonormativity #aromantic's problems #asexual's problems #platonic love matters

[mysticdragon3md3]

md3 watches Ascendance of a Bookworm eps2-4

2:45 PM 12/4/2019

Ascendance of a Bookworm Episode 2 – Life Improvements and Slates

I feel less compellted to stop the ep every few minutes to write my reaction notes, since I already watched these clips before on YOuTube.  I feel like I can finally relax and watch this series.  I should watch spoilers more often.  LOL  

I've been warry for a little while now, but I wonder if this is it...  I've been seeing AniTube vids latey alluding to "that scene" from this series.  Though I have no idea what they're talking about, it sounds like something problematic sprang up in the story.  And more and more, I wonder if it's this romance that the show is pushing between Main (I don't like that Crunchyroll spelling; my brain keeps wanting to read "main") and Lutz.  I mean, if they take that to fruition without time skips, then that means this adult lady from our world, trapped in the body of a 5 year old, will be in a romantic relationship with a 5 year old boy from this fantasy world.  O____o;;;;;;;;;;;;  I hope they don't do that.  ...But knowing how often incest has been pushed as the romantic subplot, more often in anime this past decade or so....I'm afraid that may be the case.  x__x;  I really hope I'm just being paranoid!  ;o;!  

Also, this whole shampoo/sniffing hair reminds me of when I was younger and I did understand that it's weird/intrusive if a guy does that to a girl.  Up until that point in my life, women had frequently commented on my shampoo scent and sniffed my hair.  And I just came to learn that it must be a normal thing.  Then the first time a guy asked if he could sniff my hair, my first thought was, "Well, I don't want to change my response, just because of his gender."  I had spent a lot of my childhood sexist against males, and I was trying very hard to grow out of it.  So I let him pick up a lock of my hair and sniff it.  Granted, my hair was so freaking long that even picking it up, kept him at a good 3-4 foot distance away from me.  So I didn't realize it was anything considered intimate.  But in retrospect, and after guys kept approaching me more than once in the hardware store, while I was still in my church clothes,...What kind of weirdo chases after girls running errands in a store, whenever she happens to be in a nice dress, then strikes up random conversations and asks to sniff her hair?!  In retrospect, that was weird.  And as an asexual, I am retroactively creeped-out.  

3:15 PM 12/4/2019

Well, Crunchyroll crashed during the commercial break again.  Do I have to stop watching now?  Like I did yesterday during Dr. Stone?  ;o;?  If this keeps happening, maybe I'll just watch fansubs on YouTube.  ;_;  I really don't want to though!  I'll try reloading the page and see if it'll let me skip to the middle of the episode, where I left off.  

3:31 PM 12/4/2019

She forgot her papyrus idea?

Well, I'm not going to wait through another commercial break that'll probably crash or buffer like all the others.  I'm going straight to the next episode.  And I just hope there isn't more to ep2 besides the ending theme and previews.

3:32 PM 12/4/2019

Ascendance of a Bookworm Episode 3 – The Events of Winter

omg Give Main some tools!  LOL  

Aw, poor Turi.  She should be proud of all the things she was able to help Main do, that Main so obviously couldn't do alone.  Instead she feels sad that Main is better at weaving than her. ;_;

I learned a long time ago that age doesn't matter, just experience.  Being the older sister isn't some kind of automatic hierarchy that makes you naturally better at everything vs your younger sister.  I have so much social anxiety that I've been paralyzed with inexperience for most of my life, so growing up, it was only logical to me that my outgoing sister had lots of experience and capabilities that I couldn't do.  I never felt sore at her about it.  Instead I recognized that I could rely on her to help me with the things she did better than me.  I just got lucky that the pseudo-philosophical blabbering I naturally do is for some reason very useful to her (per her words).  Sisters is a team thing, not a hierarchy.

Gotta say, there's a lot of scenes in this anime that suddenly stop.  Like I expect the characters to do an action, but they freeze instead.  I know there's a lot of limited animation and a series needs to save their budget.  But this series does it so well, that during the times when they cut corners, it's really unexpected.  Not bad, which is what makes their choices for when to place the limited animation, still good direction.  Just unexpected, after the series/episode has been able to fool you so far, with the other limited animation corner cutting it placed so well that it was unnoticable.  It didn't impede the natural flow of the episode/series so far.  It's pretty impressive.  ^-^!  Like when Turi was warming the parue tree's branch to pick the fruit, or when Lutz was about to flip the pancake/paruecake.  

I love that Main straight up called her dad's jealousy by acting innocent.  

I love when Main talks like an adult in that tiny body.  LOL  "I'm not the type of person to work without compensation."  LOL Wow.  She really had him make a crochet hook.  I thought she'd use knitting needles instead.  Ambitious!

LOL  Her dad's so silly!  LOL  

4:04 PM 12/4/2019

Ok.  No time for ending credits or ending themes.  I gotta get on with my day.  

4:58 PM 12/4/2019

Ascendance of a Bookworm Episode 4 – Forests and Clay Tablets

Back from my daily walk.  Maybe I can watch this ep without sitting and typing at my laptop?  (Feh.  Heard that one beofre. x_x; )  

"Officially going there to learn to read and write."  Yosha!!!!!!!!!

I keep forgetting Main's dad is the captain.  lol

When I first saw this scene on YouTube, I was confused because I thought clay soil was most prevalent around water.  o.o?  Isn't it that layer that's usually exposed on the sides of creeks and rivers? But in this series Main says, "He took em to a spot with very little vegetation ro drainage." I'll have to research later.  

"With books, you can learn what people in the past were thinking, and experience so much mroe than you normally could in an average lifespan."  Damn straight.  Whenever spoilsports start denegrating 2nd hand experience and blabbing on about how "you can only really learn stuff first-hand" and whatever, I always end up shouting, "Then what the hell are libraries for!?!"  Second-hand experiences have value, damn it!  "Experience so much more than you normally could in an average lifespan."

Why is their first instinct to jump onto those tablets when they didn't know what they were?!  This is why there are so many fairtales about people doing random stupid stuff, then getting cursed!

I didn't expect them to introduce magic like this.  Why is she glowing?

Well, because they owed her, now she has more hands to produce more clay.  

Damn.  Rain.  

Oh no!  No no no no no no!  As somone who as tried to speed up ceramics baking by cheating with fireplaces and ovens before the actual kiln, please don't just toss your clay tablets into a stove fire!  o~o!!!

...and kablamo.  ^^;;;;

5:28 PM 12/4/2019

Well, that's enough new anime for right now.  I've got stuff to do.  

#reactions #md3 watches ascendance of a bookworm