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#god now i have to deal with her at her worst.
glorismorningstar · 2 days
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PARENTING
Pairing: Vox x fem!angel!reader
Summary: Now that little Pixel is born, you and Vox raise her thanks to a deal with Heaven and lots of chaos.
A/N: this is part two of PREGNANT, thank you sm for the request anon! Idk if it's the same one that asked for the first part but if it is I hope you like it <3
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VOX tends to get home late, so you usually spend the day with Pixel until he comes back
At the end of his work day, he greets his daughter like she's the most precious thing in the world
Because she is
And because she came out of the second most precious thing in the world
You see him with Pixel in his lap, her little screen staring at his bigger one and babbling something unintelligible
It almost makes you cry tears of joy
Vox normally struggles to be soft around others
Well, not exactly struggles as chooses not to, because he has a reputation to maintain
But when it comes to his family he'll do anything and everything to protect them
You notice that he seems much more himself around you and Pixel
Not that you're complaining, of course
You love this vulnerable side of him more than the eccentric, manipulative businessman he purports to be
Although if you mention it to him, he'd likely deny it
Still hellbent on keeping you away from Valentino
As a friend he's great, sure, but his filthy habits near his newborn daughter and the mother of the aforementioned daughter do not sit right with him
You're wary of keeping Velvette on babysitting duty, although Vox convinces you to try it once
Not the worst babysitting shift in the history of the world, which surprised you greatly
After you gave birth, Vox moved you and Pixel to another house to separate his family from his work life
He deems it to be safer
And he would be completely correct
That's why when Alastor returns, he flips out
He's afraid of losing you and his little Pixie to that smiling freak
And if he loses everything he's worked for, how will he support his family?
Honestly, you have no qualms about his borderline homoerotic obsession with Alastor
Of all the flaws he has, that might not be number one
And he could do much worse, in your opinion
As long as he doesn't act on it, you're completely fine with it
It's true that you're an angel and he's a demon, a seraphim and an overlord no less
It makes you wonder why Sera would agree to let you keep the child and spend your maternity leave wherever you wish
Pixel is technically a hellborn, but she's the child of a blessed and a damned soul
You don't know how that would work
When she comes of age, she'll have her court case to decide her fate, since as a newborn child she's still of indeterminate morality
As hard as it would be, Vox would want her to live a blessed life
Therefore he lets you raise her to be a good person
You teach the little girl kindness, empathy, generosity and care
The sight is bittersweet for Vox
On the one hand, he's proud of seeing his own blood be a better person than he is
On the other hand, he'd miss Pixie being home at the end of every day and clinging to his leg like a vice
"My sweet girl. Thank God you're just a baby. Dad doesn't want to give you away, but he knows it's the right choice."
You hear him talk to her like that one night, and tears spill from your eyes as you overhear the conversation
It breaks your heart to see him suffer like this
To give up his own child in this way, you know full well that you wouldn't be able to if the roles were reversed
"Da-da..."
You freeze in place when a little babbling voice reaches your ears, while Vox grins so hard and his eyes glisten with tears for a brief moment
"That's right, sweetie... dad's here. Dad's here."
You sniffle softly and walk over to sit beside him, resting your head on his shoulder and stroking the top of Pixie's screen
"I can't believe it. Time flew by so fast."
"I know... suddenly I'm seeing her go off to school."
You giggle at that, kissing Vox on the cheek and running your thumb over the edge of his screen with a little sniffle
"Are you sure you're okay with me taking her to Heaven?"
Vox sighs, expression dropping from the joy of the moment as he pauses to word his reply properly
"Yeah. It's not easy, but it's what she deserves. It's the life I want her to have."
You wrap your arms around his neck when he says so, affectionately caressing the back of his screen
"I'm really sorry. I know I'd be flipping out if I were in your place."
"Oh, believe me, I am. I'm just doing a stunningly good job at covering it up."
You chuckle softly, nuzzling your nose on his screen
He laughs along with you and plants a sweet kiss on your lips, then holds both you and Pixie close to his chest
Soon Pixel grows into a pre-teen
She has already sprouted her wings and goes to school
Vox suggests that you let her go on her own, as she can fly and he has cameras everywhere
And he'd definitely maul to death anyone who tries to mess with his daughter
But you're still extremely on edge, insisting that even if he could know when she's in danger, there's no way either of you would get there in time to save her
So you drop her off and pick her up by flight every day
She doesn't like it very much, but somehow understands it's for her own good
It isn't until she's 14 that she finds out about the Radio Demon
She first overhears it while passing by Valentino's tower when she drops by the Headquarters one day and decides to ask Vox about it
"Dad?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Who's Alastor?"
Vox is visibly aggravated
Electricity zaps across his antennae and racks his entire body as he struggles not to dig his clawed fingers in the table
"Ha, ha... where did you learn that name, Pixie?"
Pixel worries for his reaction, flinching back as she stutters out a soft, "I- I- I-"
"Lady Archangel Pixel of Pride and Kindness, tell me who told you about that freak right now!"
"I- I heard Uncle Val saying that name, and- and that he hears he's back...!"
Vox is seconds away from electrocuting the entire Pentagram
So today he's going to deal with explaining to his teenage daughter about some psychopath he used to know and is learning that he's back from his child
"Oh, no, because God forbid Valentino shut his mouth for once in his fucking life!"
He slams his fist on the table and buries his screen in his hands, resting his elbows on the table and attempting to take a few deep breaths
"Dad...?"
He looks up and sees his daughter's big eyes staring at him with concern
He must have scared her with his outburst
Vox frowns and gathers her in his arms, sighing as he plants a kiss on the top of her screen
"I'm sorry, Pixie, I'm sorry. Alastor used to be my partner."
Pixel looks to the side and back at him, blinking multiple times
This conversation just took quite the turn
"I'll probably regret this, but... partner as in...?"
"Business partner! Jesus Christ, Pixel!"
The young girl sighs in relief
Honestly, he couldn't blame her for jumping to that conclusion
Vox tells her about his partnership with Alastor, everything about what he's really like and what he could do to hurt them now
He knows she's mature enough to understand
"What I want you to do now is call your mother and ask her to come pick you up. Now."
"But-"
"Now, Pixel."
Pixel hesitates, eyes flickering around with worry as she finally stared up at Vox
"Do you trust me?"
"...yes. Yes, I trust you."
"Then do as I say. Please."
She can tell something's off, her father has never acted this way before
The girl throws her arms around him, burying her face in his chest
Vox wipes the tears from her eyes and gives her a reassuring smile, holding her screen in his hands
"I love you, okay?"
"I love you, too, dad..."
He presses another kiss to her forehead and squeezes her tight
He's so terrified of letting her go, but he knows that he has to, for her own good
"Go over to aunt Velvette's and ask her to call your mother. Tell her to meet me here as soon as she can and we'll come get you."
Pixel is extremely apprehensive, but obliges either way
As she trots off to Velvette's tower, Vox gets footage of the Hazbin Hotel from Valentino
Meanwhile, you receive Velvette's call and fly over to the Headquarters as fast as possible
Vox clings to you and squeezes you tight, cupping your cheeks in his hands and looking into your eyes
"Ask for an advance on the court date."
You swear you feel your soul leave your body when he says those words
You've been dreading this for so many years
"Vox, this- this can't be the only solution."
"She's in limbo, Y/N, and right now the good in her has the edge. Request sanctuary and ask Sera to move the date. Please."
With a heavy heart, you agree
He's right, if Alastor really is back, you need to get Pixel to safety
You hug Vox close, tucking your face in the crook of his neck and letting out a sob
You don't know if you're going to see him ever again, and that terrifies both of you to your very cores
"Don't cry, my love, don't cry."
"I love you, Vox."
"I know. I love you, too."
You share a last passionate kiss before departing, tears brimming both yours and his eyes as Velvette accompanies Pixel to say her goodbyes
Vox's farewell to his child is heartbreaking
He reassures her that he loves her and it's for her own good, even if he knows that deep down she'd never forgive him
You give Vox a last kiss before opening the portal to Heaven, letting the dimensions swallow up both of you, never to see Hell for years on end
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senseiwu · 1 year
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Bruh i forgot Morgan's first words were "are you the autistic one"
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crabussy · 1 year
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I want to take a bite out of someone's arm but I'm too shy
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kelvingemstone · 3 months
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a starstruck odyssey is for lovers
#more than acofaf even. the love story of the wurst is what dreams are made of#emilymurph sitting next to each other...skip straightest man ever prince of alien slugs learning to be free bc of the crew...gnosis...#best on average npcs. lucienne plug bambi leroux the butch at the space station fuckin space heiress trust fund baby bajar crunch moon jone#and this is not to say ANYTHING of how good the characters are.#they could keep making d20 seasons forever and starstruck will always be a cut above the rest because of how fucking good the setting is#like with crown of candy even tho i loved it sm i feel like some politics were discarded in favor of the others; all out war was eh to me#the build up to a war tho? now that's interesting that's where the juice is basically i wanted asoiaf book one vibes with this cast but#that's a matter of personal preference! i don't feel like acoc did the most that could've been done with a “politics” campaign#dimension 20#dropout.tv#a starstruck odyssey#because of their deep investment in the world and the genre it never feels like starstruck couldn't do anything. it feels limitless!#season two...god if they never do one that'd be such wasted capability#ik fantasy high is so beloved and it is a beautiful lasagna of time and playing style but if i could get multiple seasons w starstruck...#the thing that makes asoiaf asoiaf is that we have a similar level of insight into the minds of baddies like the lannisters as we do into#the minds of the clean jesus allegory starks. and in acoc the “worst” character we got from the heroes was lapin n even he was aligned#to the rocks' cause. saccharina WAS a rocks -- that was her whole deal -- and even then she wasn't a morally reproachable character bc#she was right! i wanted acoc to be down and dirty and when they said ravening would be i was excited but even that turned out to be them#destroying a secret cult which was going to kill the world. no really down low shenanigans!
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skunkg1rll · 17 days
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im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.
#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w#so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me#he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine#nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am#nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me#that made me very sad nd hurt nd like#he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him#bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions#i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it#nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is#i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from#instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed#so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations#but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that#however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him#maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend#i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part#if imginna get over these feelings#i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you#then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media#then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him#but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now#my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop#since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it#but i have no idea how to stop#god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??
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daincrediblegg · 5 months
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I hate it when I accidentally hit submit on the course eval for one of the classes I was most looking forward to critiquing for improvement when I had barely written anything 🙃
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oh-hush-its-perfect · 2 years
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Fierrochase undercover at a highschool
hoe i actually wrote like half of this and then stopped
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chrisbangs · 10 months
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actually it's very cathartic for me now telling my close friends who never knew abt all the shitty things this person has done 🥺👍 never really realized how much i'd been bottling it up and how bad it was making me feel till i started telling ppl i actually trusted abt it 😕👎🤍
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tmnt-obsessed-ace · 1 year
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Too mentally drained to write tonight
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poppyseedmuffiin · 1 year
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umm just accidentally found my way onto the transphobic/terf side of Tumblr by looking at a "based on your likes" post. wtf did I like to warrant that recommendation I have to know so I can unlike it and avoid throwing up from seeing tags of people jerking off to JK rowlings takes 🤮🤮🤮
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chryzure-archive · 2 years
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scenes that made me throw down the book and pace my room like a caged tiger.
#memorie.txt#s.chrysiarchie#i was like ‘WHAT!!!!!! DO NOT DO THIS TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!’#currently brainstorming ways chrysi finds out#funny option: archie finds out first and he is like ‘oh… this… makes me embarrassed. since i spent so much time distancing myself frm you bc#i didn’t want to risk a close relationship when i was going to die. meanwhile you were willing to take the plunge despite ur disease.’#funnier option: chrysi finds out archie’s dying first and she does not say anything hehe :) she jst sits in agony :)#and then she reveals it with ‘let’s play a game. whoever dies first wins.’ and archie thinks she jst says it bc of her dangerous job.#(spoiler alert: neither option is funny)#i also don’t know how clear i’m being rn. my head is KILLING me#but i love the idea of archie’s disease being revealed first#and he has to deal w chrysi being heartbroken over it#archie thinks it’s normal!! the way she’s reacting!! because YEAH she found out the man she loves is dying!!#and i mean. it IS. but chrysi’s also grieving the fact that she’ll STILL die first#and that archie won’t even live long enough to get over her + live a long and happy life#because… he’s dying too…. he’s dying at a slower rate than her but he’s still dying#godddddd THAT hurts. and archie finding out and he’s like ‘WAIT. ACTUALLY THIS FUCKING SUCKS. WHY DO WE BOTH HAVE TO VE DYING.’#is sad :( don’t think abt it too hard because it hurts so much#i started out this ship as a way for chrysi to be a lesson to archie.. something funny and heartwarming#chrysi teaching the flirt how to love… and now it’s the worst race to the end for both of them#A R G H!!!! IN ANGUISH!!!
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exopelagic · 5 months
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fuck R <3
#this is the worst#it just feels like. let’s give this guy a bunch of rlly hard work to do#and put him in a situation completely removed from all his normal coping mechanisms. wouldn’t that be fucked up#like I have no desk! I have no space! my room is my brother’s room and I have to work on my bed while he’s playing fucking fortnite#on a call w his friends with the fucking strip led lights in BLUE-WHITE. and he’s sitting right next to me with a massive fucking moniter#and then downstairs my mum is incapable of shutting up for more than 30 seconds and the dogs won’t ever stop#I love my dogs but oh my god they’re not trained. they fucked up so incredibly insanely badly with both of them they barely tried#and now they wonder why they don’t listen to us.#the best!! the absolute best I ever get is when my parents move the shit they dump in my sisters room when she’s not here somewhere#so I can sit on her bed and work on my own#it always fucking kills my back and I really don’t like having to be in there but honestly?#my own room is even more hostile since my brother took over when I went to uni and has been sloooowly changing stuff. it’s his room.#i told them I wasn’t gonna come home for long this year bc I don’t have the time for it and I should’ve stuck to it#I just let my mum guilt me into coming back this time#but also!!! literally every time we’re on the phone!!! she’s like luuuke I can’t wait until you come home how long til you’re home now#when are you coming back how many weeks has it been now are you coming home soon are you looking forward to coming home hurry up now#I really thought I’d be able to manage it this time but I think this is a new record for hitting a breaking point#I’ve only been back for like 30 hours#i cant fucking deal with this but I have no other choice and I have no fucking clue what I’m meant to do now#I’m. going to try work on the easier code. it’ll be fine.#luke.txt
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angelltheninth · 2 months
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Could you do a Vox x secretary!reader where he is in love with her, but she's just so nonchalant to his advances and very professional about her job?🙏💕
Simping Vox? Guess he didn't see Valentino's coffee mug.
Pairing: Vox x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, developing relationship, crushes, flirting, boss x employee relationship, suggestive, pining, secretary!Reader
A/N: I feel like he's an expert at simping, the man obsessed over Alastor for 7 years.
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Vox is in love with you and everyone in the Studio knows it. There's no subtlety to his affections or his flirting with you. He will do it while he's on the air too so even his viewers know he's trying to get with you. They don't know he's head over heels in love, they assume he's just trying to get in your pants.
"Ugh... fucking red loser!" Vox's staticy voice scrambled up your phone so you had no choice but to look up from it and see your boss walking towards your desk. He looked pissed. Ever since the Radio Demon came back he's been pissed off.
And you noticed, visiting you a lot more. "I'll cancel your meetings for today, sir. You look like you could use a break." His tired, angry face shifted to that of delight.
"Oh? And will you be keeping me company during the break hm? I could use stress relief, if you know what I mean." His eyebrows wiggled on the screen and your phone pinged seconds after.
Upon opening it you saw a text from Vox, it was a lot of blue heart emojis, an invitation for drinks and signed with "Voxoxo" which he was very proud off for how cheesy it was. You never thought Vox would be the type to flirt with employees, that was more Valentino's deal, but he wasn't immune to the charms of a pretty lady in a suit jacket and miniskirt.
"And you for my dessert." He pushed his long, glowing tongue between the V gesture he made. By god was he shameless. The worst part was that it was starting to work on you. You have been professional this whole time. No, no, he is your boss! You can't cross that boundary, it would be so messy.
But maybe you could tease him a little. Putting on your best smile you stood up and leaned over, not missing how his eyes darted to your breasts before you hooked your finger on his bow-tie and tugged. Face to screen you whispered in a sultry tone, "You should keep those feelings for after hours, sir. Then maybe I'd be willing to see you on your knees." Vox's screen glitched out as his eyes widened.
"What makes you think I'd be the one on my knees?" He replied, gulping despite the confidence in his voice.
"You forget that I'm your secretary. It's my job to make sure things run smoothly with you and your workplace. I've seen the screens in your office, and the categories on them." You ran your finger over the right edge of his face, "If you'll excuse me, I need to do my job now."
"Uh... right. I'll leave you to it then." Rather then walking away he zapped away in a blur of blue static. Finally, he got a taste of his own medicine.
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swingsuckerswing · 2 years
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Gentle With Me
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Eddie Munson x Virgin!Reader, Eddie Munson x Reader, Eddie Munson x OFC
PART 2 HERE
Rating: 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Summary: Reader asks Hawkins High’s favorite freak to deflower her before they graduate. Reader has had a crush on Eddie since forever and only trusts him to do it right. Unbeknownst to her, Eddie has also been crushing hard. He takes extra special care of her ;)
Warnings: NSFW, vaginal penetration, safe sex, mentions of blood, first time, deflowering, loss of virginity, fluff and smut, oral (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), he talks you through it, constant checking in, aftercare
Word Count:  7,908 (sorry, this got super long!)
Hope you like it! :)
This was probably the worst idea you had ever had. In fact, you didn’t realize you could even be this stupid. Hey, cheers to you, jackass!
Your fingers were sweating around the tightly folded note. You had taken forever just to fold it, not to mention the eon it took to come up with the short yet somehow super fucking intimidating message.
“Woods. 4:30″
Seriously? It had taken you almost the entire lunch period to come up with that? God, what if he thinks I’m gonna like jump him or something? But it would have to do, time was running out and if you didn’t do it now you know you’d only chicken out later. God you’re such a fucking idiot for this.
You looked up to scan the lunchroom. All the other tables, including your own, were too enthralled in their conversations to notice you hunched over your notebook as if you were plotting an assassination. Seriously, you had to calm down. Its just a note. A note for a certain metal head who you were hoping would take your virginity...Yeah...totally not a big deal and super normal. You fucking dunce.
You let your eyes wander to the table, a beloved lunchtime activity of yours. Eddie Munson was throwing his head back in a loud, deep cackle as the entire table erupted into fits of laughter. It looks like Dustin, one of the freshmen, had just snorted milk out of his nose. Charming. You watched in envy as the boys hunched over themselves with the kind of laughter that makes your abs burn. “Dude....I’m gonna..... be sick!” you hear Jeff choke out in between his giggles. The whole scene coaxed a tender smile out of you.
Mike, the only other freshmen at their table, was handing Dustin napkins while wiping tears of boyish joy from his own eyes. Eddie leaned into the group and said something too low for you to make out. Whatever he said caused another wave of debilitating laughter from the guys before he stood up, took a bow, and walked towards the exit. Probably off to get one last cigarette in before class. With Eddie out of the picture, it was now or never.
The bell rang, jolting you out of your paralysis. Shit, this has to happen right now. “Aren’t you coming, Y/N?” your friend asked. Your group already had their books in hand and were standing around the table waiting for you to join.
“Uh yeah, I’m just finishing up this last problem. Can’t turn in another late homework!” you chuckle, trying your best to act as inconspicuous as possible. Your friends shrug and wave as they head towards the hallway.
You glance back over to the Hellfire table. Perfect, only Mike and Dustin were left, still trying to dry Dustin’s shirt with the now tattered napkins. You make a bee line towards them.
“Dude just hold sti-”
“I AM holding still, Mike. AND STOP RUBBING YOU’RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE! You have to dab!”
“Oh my GOD, shut up Dusti-”
“Hey guys!” you interrupt their bickering. They both freeze and stare up at you, mouths agape. Dustin is holding his arms mid-air so Mike can dab at the front of his shirt (but lets be real, he really was only just rubbing the milk into the fabric). They simultaneously retract their arms at the speed of light, making you giggle.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt! I was just wondering if you could uh give this to Eddie when you see him?” you slide the note across the table next to Dustin’s tray.
The freshmen can’t seem to form words, in fact they’ve completely forgotten how to form syllables. They weren’t used to senior girls coming up to ask them favors, or ask them for anything at all really. 
It was Dustin who snapped out of it first “Oh! Yeah! Totally!” he picks up the note and inspects it. “What is it-”
“Its nothing!” you reply way too fast. Shit, just chill out. Even if they read the dumb thing they’d just assume I was buying weed or something. “Oh, uhm, okay.” Dustin steals a questioning glance at Mike before tucking the note into his pocket. “We’ll uh make sure Eddie gets it!” Mike assures.
“Great, and uhm one more..teeny tiny request...” you look over your shoulder to make sure Eddie hadn’t miraculously appeared behind you. The two boys lean in, entirely wrapped up in the secrecy of this whole charade. “When you give it to him, could you not mention who its from? Just tell him its a surprise, or whatever you wanna tell him! I trust your judgement.” you end with a sweet, innocent smile. Me? Scheming? Noooo.
The warning bell rings, causing the boys to shoot up in a panic. They struggle to gather their things, bumping into each other and fumbling around with their trays as they both promise you that your note would be delivered safely and discreetly. 
You give them your best smile and thank them before turning on your heel to get to class. Alright Munson, see you at 4:30.
                                            - - - - - - - - - - - -
You look at your watch, the green blinking digits read “4:32″. What if they didn’t give him the note? You make yourself sick with worry, its a favorite pass time of yours. What if he thought I meant a different part of the woods? Wait, did I specify the picnic table? You pick at some of the splinters jutting out of the decrepit tabletop. I think all I wrote was ‘the woods’, fuck. What if he’s now lost out in the woods because of me!? Shit shit shit this was such a stupid plan. I’m so over my head how could I be such a dumb bitc-
“Hey...” comes a familiar voice from behind you. You flinch and a small gasp escapes your lips as you turn to face him.
Eddie holds his hands up as if he’s calming a wild horse and chuckles “Ha woah, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you” the corners of his lips are turned up into a shit eating grin. It’s still annoyingly charming, even if it is at your expense.
You watch as he comes around to sit on the opposite side of you. He rests his black tin lunchbox on the table as he shimmies off his layers of jackets. You spot a few tattoos you had never noticed before and your stomach threatens to drop to your knees. Is it too late to ditch and run? You realize you’re gawking, so you avert your eyes to the table as he continues to make himself comfortable.
He can’t help but notice just how tense you are, or how you hadn’t said a word yet. He remembered you way back from middle school, you had even had a couple classes together here and there. You were never really friends, but he always remembered how sweet you were, even to a social pariah like himself. He takes a stab at what’s eating you.
“There’s uh...nothing to worry about. Okay? No one ever comes out here.” he tosses his jackets onto the table as he sits on the rickety bench. “We’re safe. I promise.” he adds for good measure.
His words make you want to melt into this seat, become a permanent fixture. You smile and tuck a few strays behind your ears "Yeah I uh...I know...thanks” you’re still looking down at your lap. He nods, relived to have gotten something out of you, and pops open the lid of his box.
Assuming you were here for drugs, he begins his pitch. He grabs a clear plastic bag “I’ll do you a half ounce for, uh...$20. What do you say?” he holds the baggie out to you for you to inspect. “Plenty of bang for your buck. Should last you a while.”
As much as you’d love for this to be just a simple drug deal, you realize you’re gonna have to break it to him sooner than later. “Eddie,” you hold your head up to look him in the eye. He freezes, the baggie gently swaying back and forth in his grip. “I uh, didn’t ask you here to buy drugs...” Although maybe I should in case this goes south and I need to forget it ever happened.
Now caught completely off guard, the boy shifts his weight on the seat as he slowly drops the baggie back into the box. “Okayyy...then why, pray tell, did you leave me such a cryptic note?” a playful smile warms his face as he raises his eyebrows at you. He rests his head in both hands as if utterly fascinated.
Seeing a perfect opportunity to stall, you take it without looking back. “It was pretty cryptic wasn’t it?” you chuckle as you bring your elbows up to rest on the table, mirroring Eddie’s posture.
“I thought I was gonna get jumped!” Eddie exclaims causing you both to laugh at your predicament. Shit, I knew it.
“Well what was I supposed to write!?” you try to defend yourself. 
“Literally anything else!” Eddie’s eyes are practically twinkling as he continues to playfully chastise you “better yet, you could’ve just, oh i don’t know, asked me in person like a regular human being??? And WHY all the anonymous shit??”
You’re laughing out of utter humiliation “I don’t know, okay? I wasn’t thinking, I was on auto pilot! It seemed like the thing to do! Were you at least surprised when you saw me?” you don’t quite know how you want him to answer this.
“Huh? Oh, nah those twerps ratted you out within seconds” Eddie huffs as he tries to stifle his laughter.
“WHAT!?” your mouth drops to the forest floor. “Those little fuckers, they swore on Dustin’s mother they wouldn’t tell!” you cross your arms and pout in protest of this vile betrayal.
“Sweetheart, you don’t trust freshmen with anything, m’kay? That was your first mistake. I mean you should see them try to recruit for Hellfire, its pathetic...frankly” he snickers.
You scoff and look up to the blue sky, still unable to believe you had been sold out. Eddie admires you while you’re not looking. Whats a pretty girl like her doing out here with a guy like me? he wonders. He brings his hands together in a fist on the table and taps the back of his rings along the gnarled wood.
“So, you gonna answer my question?” he drops his chin and looks up at you through his lashes, a smug expression on his face.
You come back down to earth to see Eddie looking at you expectantly. You narrow your eyes and playfully tap your finger on your chin a few times “Hmmm which waaaas...?” Please can we just keep harmlessly flirting a little longer before I ruin this?
“Don’t play dumb with me” his tone a little more serious this time. “Why am I here, Y/N?”
Oh. You’re not sure how he made your name sound like some heavenly prayer, but you’d do anything to hear him say it again. Stop. Focus. You take a deep breath in. Just do it, rip the band aid off.
“So uh...I um...I’ve never- at least not yet I mean... I’m still uhhh....” Holy shit, maybe I should've rehearsed this before.
Eddie can tell whatever this is must be a big deal to you. Although you were quite cute all flustered, he didn’t want to make this any more difficult. He dips his head down to catch your eye “Hey, its okay. Take your time. No rush, I promise.”
You close your eyes and exhale a few counts before looking back up at Eddie. His doe eyes full of concern and patience. Fuck, man. You groan before letting it spill out.
“Okay, look. I’m still a virgin. In fact, I haven’t really even had a proper first kiss yet. I mean Jason kinda kissed me at a party once but he was drunk and he missed my lips entirely, and I didn’t even WANT to kiss him, he just kinda threw himself on me, and WOW I’m just now realizing how kinda fucked that was but anyway yeah I just don’t think that should count, right? And we’re supposed to be graduating in a couple months and I don’t want to get to college and not know what the fuck I’m doing!”
You had expected his eyes to be bulging out of his head like a cartoon character, but he just looked...normal. Like you had just finished telling him something as mundane as how your day was. His eyebrows were slightly raised, but it was the only indication that he was even listening. You bite down on your lip waiting for him to say something, anything.
Eddie clears his throat “So, let me get this straight.” he leans further in “You want... me... to... deflower you?” His eyes narrow at the question, but his tone was more disbelieving than judgemental.
“Well....yeah, yes. I do.” you nod absentmindedly as words just continue to topple from your lips “And you can TOTALLY say no, I know this must be like the weirdest thing anyone has ever asked you and I totally get it if you don’t want to.” you take another breath to slow yourself “Its just... I want my first time to be...gentle...”
Eddie can’t help the blush that spreads across his cheeks like wildfire, the red glow even reaching the tips of his ears. “And... you think that I can be gentle?” his stare softens as his brain tosses this idea around.
You smile thoughtfully and chuckle “I think you’re a big softy who likes to play ‘big bad wolf”. Eddie’s eyebrows disappear under his mess of bangs as he chuckles, the observation hitting closer to home than you would ever know. While you have him smiling, you take the opportunity to play your final hand.
“It also doesn’t hurt that I’ve uh...liked you since middle school” your eyes are glued to the table. You don’t even dare to blink. Well its all out there now, no going back.
Eddie’s heart threatens to rip through his chest. You had always been on his radar, he just figured he could never be on yours. Your confession momentarily stuns him before his smile turns devilish. He wants to milk this moment for all its worth. Of course, without giving away the fact that he’d drop down on his knees for you at any given moment.
“You could’ve asked me on a date, y’know.” he teases you.
You huff as you meet his eyes “You’re right...I could’ve. I should’ve” you correct yourself. Something as simple as a date never occurred to you, but then again Eddie Munson wasn’t simple.
A comfortable silence falls as you take a moment to look each other in the eyes, swapping dreamy smiles back and forth. Eddie shifts his gaze down. Your lower lip was practically war torn from all the biting you had inflicted upon it. He’d like to leave a few marks of his own, and it looks like he might finally get the chance to.
“So!” Eddie claps his hands down on the table with a loud THUNK, his smile growing wide with mischief “When am I popping your cherry?”
                                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You couldn’t believe Friday was already here, not to mention that you were riding shotgun in Eddie’s rust bucket he called a van. It had been fairly simple deciding the where and the when given that Eddie’s uncle worked nights and you could tell your mom you were sleeping over at a friend’s house (not technically a lie, just maybe not the whole truth).
You pull up to his trailer and Eddie quickly gets out of the car and jogs up the steps to open the front door for you. He bows his head and gestures for you to enter “Welcome to my castle” he says sarcastically.
It was hard not to notice the millions of trucker hats decorating the walls inside. You quickly deduce that these must belong to his uncle, although you’d love to imagine Eddie wearing any one of them. As you slowly spin around the parlor to take it all in, Eddie straightens up a bit as he passes a few stray beer cans and empty cigarette cartons. “Sorry, the maid’s on vacation” he jokes. You get the feeling he might be just as nervous as you are, but he’s doing a better job of hiding it.
As Eddie tosses the last can into the trash he looks up to see you quietly admiring his home. Your smile is soft as you take in every detail. You look enchanted just to be here, which made Eddie feel a lot better. He quietly walks over to you, not wanting to disturb your wonderment, and he gently takes your hand. You’re still looking around as he says “You wanna see the rest of it?”
His voice brings you back to reality. You look down to see his large hand enveloping yours. “Hm?” you softly hum, not tearing your eyes away from the skin to skin contact. You feel your palm begin to burn as he lightly squeezes it. “Come on, I’ll show you” his voice is like warm honey, you’d follow him wherever he decided to take you.
He pulls you towards the hallway, pointing out his uncle’s room on the left and the bathroom on the right, before reaching the desired destination. “And this is uh... my room” he stops in the doorway, letting your hand go so you can explore on your own as he watches.
Its messy, but its exactly what you had pictured. Band posters litter the walls, clothes are strewn haphazardly across the floor and his dresser. There’s an ash tray filled to the brim with cigarette butts. He has a couple of guitars dangerously balanced against the walls, but there’s one very unique guitar on display hanging over his mirror. You cross the room to inspect it further, you had never seen anything like it and it must have cost him a fortune. You raise your hand to touch it, but you catch Eddie’s eye in the mirror. He has a sly smile “That’s my baby” his voice is full of pride.
You smile back at his reflection “Can I...?” slowly moving your fingers closer to the gorgeous instrument. 
“Go ahead. She’s meant to be touched” his gaze turning darker.
You duck your head and smile bashfully, knowing full well he can see you blush in the mirror. You stroke your fingers up the long neck and glide over the strings, teasing a ghostly hum from the guitar. As you continue to strum, your eyes wander to the wall where something shiny is dangling from a hook. It takes you longer that it should to recognize them as handcuffs. Your lips part, your eyelids becoming heavy. You feel a tickle between your legs. Oh.
Eddie notices you’ve frozen, no longer interested in the guitar. He follows your gaze to the item stealing all of your attention. “Ha!” he walks over and takes them off the hook, not wanting to scare you. Your eyes don’t leave the shiny metal, looking even more appealing in Eddie’s hands. He notices your fascination with them, and the fact that you’re not running away screaming makes him want to marry you on the spot. He sees the hazy, far off look in your eyes and recognizes it right off the bat. His lips curve into a delinquent smile “Not tonight, sweetheart” and he tosses them into the abyss of a drawer
“But-” you try to object, convince him you need a demonstration and you’d happily volunteer, but before you can get another word out Eddie holds a hand up in protest. “Sorry, honey” he takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger and gently tilts your head up to look at him. “I thought you wanted gentle, hm?” his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear.
His closeness, the words, his touch... it should be illegal. “I- I uh I did- I do! I do want gentle...I- I want...you...” you stutter out, making Eddie’s smile grow wider and more smug. He loves how flustered he makes you... but he loves teasing you even more.
He suddenly releases you and takes a step back “Great! What kinda pizza you like?” he asks, stepping backwards towards the door.
You’re a bit dazed “I uh..what?”
“Pizza! I mean, I’d cook for you, but you might end up dying a virgin so...” he chuckles.
You giggle, not realizing being wined and dined was a part of the deal. “Um, would you think I’m weird if I asked for ham and pineapple?” you narrow your eyes, bracing yourself for imminent mockery.
“See? I knew you were a freak, Y/L/N” he throws a brilliant smile your way. “One ham and pineapple coming up!”
                                                - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You laid together on his bed, the discarded pizza box somewhere on the floor below. He had rented Plan 9 from Outer Space, and the two of you had nearly choked to death laughing at the B-Movie cheesiness. Any jitters you had about this night were long gone, it was hard to feel nervous being tucked up in Eddie’s arms. Over the course of the movie, you had somehow become one conjoined life form. Your legs were tangled together, your head nestled on his shoulder as he rested his chin on your hair. You were like two perfect puzzle pieces. The sun had set a while ago, and the dark only made you feel more cozy.
But at some point, it became harder to focus on the movie. You had become hyper aware of how close his hand was to your ass, and how if you moved your knee juuuust a little you’d be grazing his dick. You felt the room getting hotter, and you thought he might be feeling it too as he started to squirm a little under you. With a sudden burst of bravery, or maybe just desperation, you slowly begin to arch your back. Your steady movement causes Eddie’s hand to ever so slightly slip closer to your backside. Before it can reach its desired destination, however, he digs his fingers in your flesh, stopping you in your tracks. He takes your chin in his other hand and forces you to look up at him. “What are you up to, hm?” he asks with a smug smile.
You screw your eyes shut and wrinkle your nose, embarrassed at being caught. “Hey...look at me” his voice is so gentle you could hardly bare it. You take the bait and look up. You weren’t expecting his gaze to be filled with such concern or to be so penetrating. It was like he was searching for something deep inside your soul. He moves his hand from your chin to gently cradle your jaw. His fingertips tease the sensitive place behind your ear, his thumb rests on your cheek. “You still sure about this, sweetheart?”
You have to swallow before you answer “Yeah...I’m sure”. It came out barely above a whisper. You’d never been more sure of anything in your whole entire life, the thought of it actually happening with him was beyond electrifying. The tickle between your legs returns, this time with more urgency.
He considers your answer for a second before continuing “Cause we can stop whenever you want, okay? You just say the word and I’ll take you home, no questions asked.” his voice is serious, and his worry only makes you want him more.You always knew he was the one, the only one.
His eyes begin jetting back and forth between yours, his calm demeanor slipping away, something more desperate taking its place. You can feel his grip around your waist tightening, bringing you closer to his warm body. He’s right on the edge with you, but he won’t make one move until he’s certain this is what you really want. He swore he would do this right, and goddammit if Eddie Munson was not a man of his word.
Seeing him worked up is the last straw, you’ve been good for as long as you could bare. “Eddie...” a pleading whimper escapes your lips and it was more than enough to break him. Before you knew it, Eddie’s lips were on yours.
His kiss was all consuming, it wrapped you up and tucked you in tenderly like a cozy blanket on a cold winter’s night. With his hand still holding your jaw, he ever so slightly parted his lips to deepen the kiss. The feeling of his hot breath brushing against your lips made you dizzy. He barley grazes your bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, causing the fire burning in the pit of your belly to flash white hot.
Eddie had to constantly remind himself to keep it slow, desperately trying to ignore the feeling of his hard cock straining against his jeans. Gentle, Munson...keep it gentle. He nearly cries when you slip your tongue into his mouth. If only you knew how much he wanted to devour you, heart and soul, until there was nothing left. If only you knew how many times he watched you laughing with your friends, jealous that they were getting all of your attention. How your voice was sweeter than any song, how all you had to do was say his name and he was yours. You could have asked him for anything in those fucking woods and he would’ve given it to you. He’d do anything to keep you here in his arms forever.
He rolls over so that he’s slightly above you, not wanting to crush or smother you, but he just couldn’t get enough. The movie is still playing in the background, thankfully drowning out your needy moans, until Eddie mindlessly rolls his hips down into yours. You could feel the rough fabric of his jeans and his rock hard erection through the thin fabric of your skirt, pressing against you in just the right spot. You don’t even realize you’re loudly moaning his name until you hear him snicker “You can be loud if you want. No one’s gonna hear, we’re safe. I promise.” he whispers into your ear, stealing a few kisses there. He rolls his hips again, wanting more than anything to hear you moan his name again.
He brought his hand down from your jaw to rove over the rest of your body. He lets it rest over your neck for a second and gives it a delicate squeeze. Its not enough to choke you, but the pressure makes his tongue in your mouth feel all the more vital. Like a lifeline. Its a gentle reminder of who you belong to in this moment, who’s in charge. For a fleeting second you wish he hadn’t been so quick to ditch the handcuffs.
He traces your collarbones, down to the underwire of your bra, tickles your ribs, and finally arrives at your skirt. His fingers halt, just tucked under the waistband. Liking the direction this was going, you rest up on your elbows and begin to peel your shirt off. Eddie gives you the space you need, and watches in awe as more of your supple flesh is revealed. He admires every detail, down to the smallest freckle, making an internal map so he’d never forget.
You toss your shirt somewhere into the oblivion of his room, not really caring whether its lost forever or not. You look at Eddie hesitantly, the rush of cold air reminding you that you were only a bra away from total vulnerability. You bring your hands up to cover your belly, starting to feel a little self conscious, but then you see the look of absolute worship in Eddie’s eyes. Like he was standing before an altar, you were his temple. Eddie realizes he’s been staring without speaking for a while now and he looks you in the eye “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Y/N” he says a little out of breath. You smile with absolute giddiness, quickly moving your hands from your stomach to bring him back into a deep kiss. While you embrace, Eddie frantically starts pulling at his own shirt and you assist him in taking it off.
The feeling of his warm chest against yours sends you into a nose dive of indescribable sensation. You wanted to feel his skin everywhere, scratch your fingernails down his spine, play with the soft tufts of curly brown hair on his tummy. Deciding you needed more contact, you reach behind your back and unclasp your bra. Eddie keeps his eyes shut tight, mouth fixed to yours. He’s abundantly aware that you’re now completely naked from the waist up, and he just knows that if he looks at you for one second he’ll lose all control, the very little he had left. Instead, he blindly brings his hands up to your tits and rubs over your hard nipples. It only makes you moan more, practically driving Eddie to the brink of madness until he can’t wait any longer. He has to know what you feel like on the inside.
Eddie breaks away from your embrace and props himself up on his side to look down over you. He returns his hand down to the waistband of your skirt and tugs, raising an eyebrow at you for permission to remove the obstacle. You nod and smile, your heart starting to beat like the wings of a hummingbird. He wiggles the skirt down your legs and gingerly tosses it to the side. He places his hand over your underwear, his fingertips aligned perfectly over your slit. He rubs upwards, feeling how wet you are through the fabric. You jump a little as bolt of lightning shoots through your core. It makes his heart sing to feel how ready your are for him. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart” his voice crackles like firewood as he continues to rub you through the fabric. He watches your every move as he tends to you, utterly consumed by how beautiful you are.
With every touch, it sends a shock wave of pleasure through your entire body. Electricity building in your fingers and toes. And just when you think it couldn’t get much better than this, Eddie slips your underwear off and slowly slides in just the tip of his middle finger. You sigh as he enters, pure ecstasy rolling over you. He smiles down at you “Thats my girl, how does that feel?” he asks as he gently slides his finger in and out of you, never completely taking it out.
You’re drunk off of his touch, and you really have to concentrate in order to forms words “fuuucckk....Eddie...amaaazing.” He chuckles softly at how completely out of it you are. “You want it deeper?” he brushes a few strands of hair from your face as you rest your head against his arm. All you can do is desperately nod, if you open your mouth you might start drooling.
Eddie slides his finger in deeper, just to his knuckle. You feel a little pinch, but nothing too bad. He turns his hand over while inside of you so he can play with your clit with his thumb. “yes yes yes...” you whimper. The sensation soothing any tiny discomfort you had felt.
He only speeds up when he feels your slick start to drip down his hand. “Fuck, Y/N. I’d love to watch you cum, sweetheart. Do you think you could cum for me?” he asks like you’re doing him a favor, and he plunges his entire finger, up to his ring, in your pussy, causing you to yelp and giggle. Your body felt like it was going to vibrate off the bed, and you could feel something tightening deep inside. You concentrate on the feeling, like a volcano about to erupt. “E-Eddie” your voice is shaky “I..I th-think...I’m g-gonna....” you hold onto his arm for dear life as you ride your high. You moan and cuss loudly as Eddie continues to finger fuck you through your aftershocks, gradually slowing his pace until you’re panting below him.
He slowly slides out of you and immediately licks your slick off of his finger. You watch in awe as he closes his eyes and revels in your taste. “Mmmh...cherry pie...my favorite” Eddie teases you with an ear to ear smile. You smack his chest and giggle before curiosity gets the better of you “C-can I try?”. Eddie’s eyes beam at you with a kind of pride that you couldn't fathom. He dips his finger back into your slick and brings it back up to glide along your bottom lip “Knock yourself out”.
You take his finger into your mouth and suck. A mixture of sweet and salty coats your tongue, and you’re amazed at the fact that you actually taste good. With your tongue lapping at Eddie’s finger, he gets another brilliant idea. He removes his finger from your mouth and quickly pops into into his, sucking the rest of your slick and saliva off, before getting up and kneeling at the foot of the bed. “Hey, where are you-” you try to protest, but he’s already got you hooked by your knees and pulling you down to meet him. His face between your legs quickly shuts you the fuck up, awaiting whatever command he deems you worthy of. He sees your eyes going wide in anticipation, and he smirks before furrowing his brow. “Has anyone ever kissed you here before?” he already knows the answer, but he wanted to hear you say that you were all his. He watches you as he nips at your inner thighs, waiting for your reply.
You’ve gone dumb, not a single thought in your head. He has you completely transfixed. “I-uh..n-no...never” is all you manage to spit out. Your innocence makes his cock throb, but he has to wait, he has to show you how good he can really make you feel first. “See, that’s a real shame.” he inches his mouth closer to your pussy, lazily dragging a finger around your entrance, playing in your slick. You squirm under his touch, desperately searching for friction, a release, anything. His smirk turns absolutely devilish “I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, princess”.
He hoists your knees up and over his shoulders. Looking up at you through his bangs, he slowly dips his tongue into your slit and flicks up. This alone nearly gives you a heart attack, and he holds you steady as your body shutters. Eddie tongue fucks you until you can’t see straight anymore. You’re a moaning mess, all you can do is tangle your fingers in Eddie’s hair and hang on tight. He licks a steady stripe up, enveloping your clit with his mouth. His tongue twirls, flicks and practically pirouettes around your sensitive bud. And just to kick you while you’re down, his fingers come back to play. This time, he easily slips two in and begins sliding in and out of you. Your body contorts like you’re in need of an exorcism, your noises telling Eddie to go faster and deeper. You feel yourself going higher, and higher, and higher until you reach the tippy top of your second orgasm, riding Eddie’s face all the way back down.
Eddie lets you rest for a moment, legs sprawled haphazardly across his bed. He stands up and crosses his arms against his chest, admiring the aftermath of his handy work. His smug smile returns, the entire lower half of his face glistening with your honey. “Right?” he says, all cocky. You chuckle, and try to kick him but your legs are too wobbly “Shut up” you say breathlessly.
He gets down on the bed and hovers over you on all fours. He growls from the back of his throat and nips at your neck while viciously tickling your ribs. You giggle and squeal, wrestling against him but not really wanting him to stop. You tousle around on the bed for a while before your play fight turns into making out. You didn’t realize how much you had missed his lips on yours, you felt starved. You grind your leg onto his thigh. He somehow still has his pants on, and you’re not sure how you could have made such a blaring oversight. You reach down to undo his belt buckle, letting him know that you were truly ready.
While you fumble with his belt, he reaches over to his bedside table and grabs a condom. He puts the corner in his mouth, his hands a little too shaky to handle it, and rips it open between his teeth. You shimmy his jeans off, his erection creating a tent in his boxers. You look up at him to make sure he was okay, and he winks in return. You inhale and pull his boxers down, his cock finally springing free. You’re a bit mesmerized at first. You had never seen one before, and you were shocked by just how...big...he was. You panic a little, wondering how he was ever going to fit inside you. You mindlessly cup your hand around his length, his skin is soft and turning a mean shade of pink. He gasps at your touch and closes his eyes, melting into your palm. You rub your thumb over a long, thick vein on the side of his dick, not realizing you were unraveling the poor boy in your hands. You notice the precum leaking from his head. You steal a glance up at Eddie and see that his eyes are closed, totally blissed out. You smile, having a devilish thought of your own. Starting where the head meets the shaft, you lick a quick line up the tip of his dick and flick the precum into your mouth. Eddie jolts, eyes snapping open, and quickly rolls over to imprison you underneath him “You trying to kill me, Y/L/N?” he punishes you with smothering kisses, making you giggle uncontrollably.
He sits up and rests on his knees so he can roll the condom on. You watch in wonder as you adjust your body so you can be ready for him. Last minute nerves make your tummy flutter, but you know you’re in the best of hands. He comes back down and places his hands on the mattress on either side of your head. He lowers down for one more kiss. “This may hurt a little, sweetheart.” he whispers in your ear before placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. He looks you in your eyes before continuing “Remember, we can stop whenever you want. Okay?” You nod adoringly and whisper “Okay”. He gives you another earth shattering smile “That’s my girl.” he brings his forehead down to meet yours and you gaze into each other’s eyes, smiling like fools, absolutely head over heels. You wrap your legs around his waist, and brace yourself for whatever comes next.
Eddie aligns himself with your entrance and slowly pushes in, you can feel your walls stretching to accommodate him. He stops at just the tip, and you both moan. He slowly rolls his hips, slipping the tip of his cock in and out so you can get used to the sensation. You feel a slight pressure when he slides in, but its dull and far off, and the kisses he peppers you with are a nice distraction.
He pumps into you a little longer before sliding further in. This time you do feel a nagging pain, causing you to sharply inhale. You dig your fingernails into his back, and he slows his movements even more. “I know baby, I know.” he soothes you and you find the pain quickly gives way to pleasure. You moan into his hair “Mmhm Eddie...you’re so big...” the words tumble from your mouth without a thought behind them, just pure ecstasy. Eddie groans and he fights the urge to fuck you dumb through this damn mattress. “Keep talkin’ like that princess and I might forget to be gentle” he warns as he nips at your neck.
He slides deeper until he reaches his hilt, stretching and filling you to the brim. You curse under your breath at the pain, screwing your eyes shut so no tears can escape. He cradles your head “Hey look at me, you okay?” you open up and he’s staring down at you with those doe eyes, brows furrowed in concern. “I’m fine, it just hurts a little. Please don’t stop” you reach up and cup his red cheek, assuring him that you can take it. He gently and slowly continues to glide into you. Worried he may not be able to slide back in, he never fully pulls out of you, creating a pocket of delicious sensation deep inside. Your walls eventually relax around him, allowing him to pick up his pace.
It was a cacophony of feeling, a delicious blend of searing pain and ultimate euphoria. The hurt felt so good, you loved being filled for the first time. You kiss Eddie everywhere you can reach him, his chin, his shoulder, his collarbone, just to show how thankful you were. He smiles in complete adoration for you, noticing just how ethereal you look underneath him. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Y/N” he kisses you hard on the lips, practically smashing your faces together. His steady motion begins to sputter a little, he must be getting close. “...and you’re so...fucking....tight....” he pounds a little harder with each word, causing you to cry out. He cradles the back of your head and soothes you. “Sorry...sorry..I just ...wanna try...*grunts* one more thing. Okay?” he kisses your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver and your pussy to tighten around his cock. Although you’re not sure what else there could be, you nod with every fiber of your being. “Yes...fuck ...I-I’ll do...anything...f-for you” you whimper. He groans and rolls his head back, trying to forget you said that before he busts this second.
He stops rocking into you only for a minute so he can gently pull you up into a sitting position in his lap, his hand still cradling your head, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. “Come here, sweet thing” he swipes a few strands from your face once you’re up. The blood rushing to your head mixed with this new angle is something else. You feel entirely open, the tip of his dick just grazing something galvanic inside of you. You smile warmly and stare deep into each other’s eyes for a moment, completely elated by each other’s company. He pulls you into a bear hug, your breasts squeeze against his chest, as he fucks up into you. You go limp, whatever it was inside you that he was hitting over and over was causing your brain to melt. You roll your head back and just let him take you.
Even when Eddie is fighting every urge to cum himself, he’s still only thinking of your pleasure. In your lulled state, he reaches down in between you and starts rubbing your clit, alternating between circles and side to side. He figures if he can get you to cum one more time, he can die a very happy man. The sensation brings you out of your nearly catatonic state, and you tighten your thighs around his waist like a boa constrictor. You start to bounce back on his cock, feeling that oh so familiar feeling starting to build in the center of your soul. Eddie groans, the veins in his neck popping out. “Y/N...fuck...you’re gonna...make me cum, sweetheart” he growls out, unable to contain himself any longer. His body stutters as he reaches his peak, his arms locked around your fragile body in a vice grip, and he spills himself into the condom. Dazed from his own heavenly release, he still doesn’t forget about you for one second. His fingers shift into overdrive, pummeling your clit until your crying his name out for the whole trailer park to hear. The look of sheer joy is plastered to his face, and you both collapse into each other, exhausted.
You sit in his lap, resting your head on his shoulder. His dick is still inside of you, and you don’t dare move a muscle, never wanting him to leave. He plants soft kisses in your hair and runs his fingers down your spine. It takes you a minute to realize the movie is still playing. “Could we rewind? I think I missed a bit” you joke.
He chuckles “I’d have to get up to rewind it” he reminds you, tucking his finger under your chin to lift your head up. He brings his forehead down to meet yours, his eyes sparkling in the darkness. “Can we stay like this for a little longer?” you plead. He smirks and kisses your cheek “We can do whatever you want, princess.”
You stay there wrapped in each other’s arms for a little longer before Eddie slowly slides out of you and places you back down on the mattress. There’s a tiny bit of blood mixed with your slick dripping from your pussy, and Eddie grabs a clean shirt from his closet and cleans you up delicately as if he was handling a rare gem. He throws the condom away and pulls on a pair of boxers and a faded Metallica shirt. He hums as he goes about his little tasks, giving you a sense of comforting domesticity. He miraculously finds your underwear on the floor, but has no luck finding any of your other clothes. He grabs another one of his shirts and tosses it over to you. You hold the garment up and notice its his Hellfire club shirt, a wave of pure glee washes over you. You pull it over your head, his familiar scent wrapping around your body. Eddie fidgets with the tv controls, rewinding to around the time y’all got...distracted, before turning around and plopping back onto the bed to cuddle up next you. He looks you up and down, “Looks better on you” he beams as he brings you back into his arms, assuming the same positions you were in earlier in the evening.
In no time you’re both in stitches again over the movie, and you spend the rest of the night laughing, talking, and kissing all while entangled in each other’s arms. Just before you both doze off, Eddie whispers “So, did you have fun? I mean...was I gentle?”
You cup his face and kiss his forehead “So gentle” you chuckle before giving him a sincere answer, “it was more than I could ever dream of, Eddie. It was perfect” Eddie smirks through the darkness and pulls you into a vice grip to tickle you. You squeal and squirm and giggle in pure delight. You settle back down and he turns around you so he can spoon you “Good, cause next time...I might not be so gentle” he whispers devilishly in your ear.
You perk up, remembering some paraphernalia from earlier. “Can we use the handcuffs?” you ask in excitement. Eddie chuckles, finding your eagerness adorable. Fuck, this girl is gonna be the death of me. “Anything you want, princess” he kisses you behind your ear and you both drift off into blissful slumbers.
                  ___________________________________________
AN: Thank you so much for reading! I was really inspired by the song Touch Tank by Quinnie, I keep seeing so many amazing edits of Eddie/Joseph with that song! I also borrowed some of his dialogue from his scene with Chrissy in the woods to make it more convincing, hope you don’t mind. I started on this before Vol 2 came out and then it felt weird to keep going but I pushed through. I’m 100% in my denial era and this is for all the girlies who are in the same boat! <3
27K notes · View notes
rocketrhap3000 · 8 months
Text
suffocate me with your love
summary: as requested by this anon, reader overhears bucky complaining about how clingy she is but doesn’t hear the full story, causing her to distance herself from him and unintentionally breaking both of their hearts
warnings: reader deals with some self loathing stemming from childhood fears, a few swears, this is pretty angsty but i promise there’s a happy ending
a/n: thank you for the request! as i said, this is such a personal topic for me and writing this was so healing to be honest. i hope it can bring some comfort for anyone else who’s been told they’re too clingy or attached. you are loved and you deserve love 🤍
main masterlist here
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The little white cat on your lap lifts her head and stands up in alert when she hears the front door click open, signaling your boyfriend's arrival back to his apartment. Next, you hear Bucky’s footsteps tread softly over where you and Alpine have cozied up on the couch in the living room, and before you know it, he’s falling down beside you, careful not to crush the cat on the couch with you.
“Hey, Buck,” you giggle as he leans into you.
“Mm, hi,” he murmurs back. “Missed you today, Sweets,” Bucky breathes as he wraps his arms around you, holding you to him.
“Missed you, too,” you sigh back, loving how safe and secure you feel in his arms.
It’s been almost four months since Bucky officially asked you out. Before that, the two of you tiptoed around each other for nearly a year, starting when you first moved into the apartment next to his in the Tower, when you became a part of the science and research team with Banner. Bucky is the sweetest man you��ve ever met, and you have always felt safe around him and loved by him.
However, you have an underlying fear that you just can’t seem to shake, even though you’re extremely happy with Bucky. As a child, your family constantly told you how clingy and desperate for affection and attention you were. You couldn’t help it, though, no matter how many times they told you to stop being so attached. You just crave affection and closeness with those you love, and that includes Bucky, now. He’s never given you a hard time about it, though; in fact, he’s always reciprocated your touch and affection. He’s never once made you feel too clingy or attached, and you always feel loved and cared for by him.
“How were my two girls today?” he asks as he pulls away enough to just settle at your side instead, and you smile as you watch Alpine climbs right into his lap.
“Good,” you smile bashfully, resting your head on his flesh shoulder and leaning into him.
“Have you eaten dinner yet?” he asks, softly rubbing your arm with the hand that’s wrapped around you.
“No,” you murmur, trying to get as close to him as you possibly can. “Was waiting for you. What are you hungry for?”
“Anything you want, Sweets,” he smiles and kisses your temple.
This right here? Absolute bliss.
~♡~
Later in the week, you go to visit Bucky and Sam after their training session with some new recruits. He’d told you they’d be done around noon, and he offered to take you to lunch afterwards. Going out with Bucky always filled you with such unbridled joy, one like none other. Something about being with him just made you so giddy, like a little girl with a school crush.
You smile to yourself as you hear Bucky’s familiar chuckle voice off the halls as you make your way to find him. But when you pick up the conversation between him and Sam, your stomach starts to churn.
“God, I need a break from her,” you hear your boyfriend’s voice come from the kitchen, immediately grabbing your attention.
Who is “her”?
“Don’t even get me started,” you hear Sam scoff his reply. “I saw her practically up your shirt the other day and I felt the urge to swoop in and save you.”
Your brain automatically goes to the worst case scenario. Sam had walked in on you and Bucky cuddling in the common room watching a movie the other day. Is that what he’s talking about?
“Why didn’t you?” Bucky playfully yells. “Man, I thought she’d get the hint by now. She literally won’t leave me alone. It’s like she’s a leech or something.”
Your heart begins to race and tears begin to burn at the back of your eyes. He has to be talking about you, surely. You know you’re so clingy; he’s just been hiding how annoyed he’s been by you, just to save your feelings.
“Have you told her?” Sam asks.
“No,” Bucky sighs.
“Why the hell not?” Sam laughs.
“I don’t want to be an asshole, you know? She’s annoying, but I still don’t want to hurt her feelings,” Bucky explains.
“It’s not being an asshole to tell her you need your space, man,” you hear Sam reply.
“I do need my space. And especially from her. She’s suffocating—” you hear him say, and it’s the last thing you hear before your throat closes up, your ears start to ring, and your eyes blur with tears as you run down the hall back to your apartment.
Time seems to freeze as you make your way to your place, shutting and locking the door as tears stream down your cheeks.
Your biggest fear has come to pass.
Your wonderful boyfriend, someone you love more than anyone in the world, thinks you’re too clingy, just as your family had said all along.
You’re annoying.
You’re suffocating.
This is your worst nightmare.
What you don’t realize, however, is that Bucky wasn’t finished. And after you’ve run off in silent tears, he clarifies what you should have stuck around to hear.
“Especially since I have a girlfriend! I get that I’m assigned to train her, but Alexis needs to know I’m uncomfortable with how touchy she is both inside and outside of training. Plus, she knows I’m dating (Y/n),” Bucky reasons.
“The whole team knows, Buck. You guys look like lovesick puppies whenever you’re together and you can’t keep your hands off each other,” Sam laughs.
“Then why can’t Alexis take a fucking hint?” Bucky cries out with a laugh.
“Have you talked to Nat or anyone else about it? I’m sure they’d talk with her. I know I will if you want me to. We could even switch her with someone else so you won’t have to work with her anymore,” Sam offers.
“That would be great, honestly, man. I’d be in deep shit with (Y/n) if she saw the way Alexis gets with me. And my girl is the last person I want to hurt. I love her, Sam,” Bucky admits.
“Whoa,” Sam smiles. “You guys have only been together for a little while. You already sure about that?”
“When you know, you know,” Bucky shrugs. “She’s the love of my life. I think about her every moment. I never wanna be apart from her.”
If only you would have heard all that.
~♡~
Weeks pass and you grow increasingly distant from Bucky by the day.
You no longer stop over at his apartment to wait with Alpine for him to get back from trainings. You spend more time in the lab with Banner, and when Bucky asks if you need some time off, you politely decline. You no longer go to bed with him for sleepy snuggles; instead, you retreat back to your apartment after the few minutes of time you have together in the evenings.
You dodge his kisses and pull away from his hugs. You don’t cuddle up to him on the few evenings you do spend with him, and you don’t initiate any touch with him whatsoever.
It’s so hard not to give into his touches and kisses, but it’s genuinely what you think Bucky wants. For that reason, you don’t see just how hurt he’s been by the absence of your affection.
~♡~
“So, how are things with you and the lady lately?” Sam asks, nudging Bucky’s shoulder with his own as the two men sit at the counter of the bar together.
“Really?” Bucky scoffs after swallowing his sip of beer.
“Yes, really,” Sam replies with a chuckle of his own. “If I don’t ask, you won’t tell me anythin’. I gotta know what’s going on in your life, man.”
“Okay,” Bucky chuckles again, then lets out a sigh. “I don’t know. Like I’ve told you before. I love her. I think she’s incredible. But if I’m being honest, recently I get the feeling she’s not really into me anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Sam asks, taking a swig of his drink. “She looked pretty comfy cozy in your lap at last month’s meeting," he teases.
“Well without giving up too many details…” Bucky rolls his eyes and winces as he struggles to word it tactfully, knowing just how embarrassed you would feel if you found out Bucky was telling Sam these details of your relationship. “She used just to be a lot more affectionate.”
“She always has been,” Sam agrees. “She’s such a sweet person.”
“I know. But she’s completely stopped. And without any apparent reason, too. Can’t remember the last time she even kissed me. I just… I don’t get it, Sam. What am I doing wrong?”
“Dude, I don’t know her like you do. But maybe just lay off for a little bit? Maybe it will prompt her to start things on her own if she wants them again.”
“Yeah,” Bucky nods slowly, thinking of just how difficult it will be if he decides to withhold his affection from you for a while if you don’t explicitly ask for it. “Yeah, that seems like it could work.”
But even though Bucky has accepted his advice, Sam notices as his friend’s demeanor changes. His already small smile starts to fade as the thought of you sitting at home alone while he’s out with a buddy crosses his mind, and something just tells him you’re not okay.
“Alright, Buck,” Sam sighs, waving down the bartender with one hand hand placing the other on his friend’s shoulder. “I can practically smell the smoke comin’ from your cyborg brain right now. Go,” he then nods his head at Bucky.
“But-”
“Go,” Sam insists with a smile. “Drinks are on me. I know you’re overthinking about your girl right now. Get home before your brain combusts.”
Bucky scoffs, amused at how well Sam knows him and thankful for the advice. He only hopes it will work, and that whatever tension there is between you two can be resolved.
He can’t stand not cuddling and kissing you like he used to.
~♡~
A knock comes at your front door just around eight, after you’ve already showered and changed into your pyjamas - ironically, it’s your boyfriend’s blue henley and a pair of his baggy grey sweats. You’d known Bucky was going out with Sam, so you expected to be alone for the rest of the night.
Toeing over the smooth panels of the wooden floor in your fuzzy socks, you leave your bedroom and head for the main door, nervous as to who may be there.
But an involuntary smile graces your lips when you open the door to your boyfriend, standing in the hallway with a beautiful bouquet of white roses in his hand and a box of your favorite chocolates in the other.
“Bucky,” you breathe, and even with things in his hands, he wraps his arms around your torso and brings you in for a delicate kiss.
“Hi, Sweets,” he greets after breaking away.
“What— uh, what are you doing here?” you stammer, suddenly becoming aware of how tightly you’re clinging to him and pulling back to put space between the two of you. “Thought you were out with Sam,” you say softly, stepping backwards to let him into your apartment, then turning around to head over to the living room.
“I… Well, I’d rather be with you,” he says, following after you. After a few steps, he catches up to you, and hands you the flowers and chocolates.
“What are these for?” you ask, accepting the gifts and admiring the roses with a small smile.
“Don’t need a reason to get my girl some flowers that are almost as pretty as her,” Bucky says, and you’d be swooning if you still weren’t so nervous about coming off as clingy.
Stepping over into the kitchen, you set the chocolate on the counter, then grab an empty vase to fill with water to place the flowers in. Bucky stands near you, watching as you fulfill the task, then setting the vase on your kitchen table, where all of Bucky’s flowers for you have gone.
Next, he grabs your hand as you bush past him to go back to the living room.
“Are you here to spend the night? Where’s Alpine?” you ask, dropping his hand as you sit down on the couch.
Bucky’s heart sinks and his smile falls. He thought you’d appreciate the little surprise, but now he’s convinced you’re just not into him anymore.
“I stopped to check on her right before coming to you. She’s good for the night if you want me to stay. Otherwise I— I can go back,” he says, hesitantly sitting down on the couch beside you.
“No, that’s okay,” you nod, relieved to hear that he’s here because he wants to be, and not because you’ve forced him to.
Silence falls over the room like a heavy, uncomfortable blanket. You’ve never felt this way being alone with Bucky before. You hate it. You want to snuggle up with him and have him hold you tight.
But you know that would be too annoying.
Too suffocating.
Those words echo in your head over and over again, until Bucky breaks the silence, pulling you from the spiral of your thoughts.
“Sweetheart,” Bucky mutters, reaching out to grab your hand. “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” you smile and nod, pulling your hand from his, then scootch just a tad away from him.
“You’re just… You don’t seem like yourself lately. I’m worried, Sweets.”
“I’m fine, Buck,” you assure him, though he isn’t convinced.
“Okay,” he pauses generously before speaking up again. “Are we… okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod again, but Bucky finally builds up the courage to ask you directly what he wants.
“You’ve just been really distant lately. No more cuddles, hugs, kisses… no more movie nights or making dinner together. I’ve barely seen you this week, and I know you’re busy with Banner, but I miss you. I just… Are you… do you want to break up with me?” he asks, and your heart shatters into a million pieces.
“No, James,” you coo, finally reaching out to grab his hand again. “Not at all, Honey.”
“Then why haven’t you been as affectionate as you used to be?” he asks, voice shaking with nerves and heartbreak.
Another wave of silence washes over the room as you debate whether or not you’ll tell him the truth. You know you should, and against all the fear you’re feeling right now, you know it’s worth it to save your relationship with the sweetest man on the planet.
“I heard you talking to Sam, Bucky,” you say softly, removing your hand from his and casting your gaze to your lap.
“What, Sweets?” he asks with a small frown.
“I heard you talking… about me.”
Bucky doesn’t understand. When are you talking about? Did he accidentally butt dial you when he was with Sam tonight? Fuck technology, he thinks. What has he done?
“Tonight?” he asks nervously, but you shake your head. “Sweetheart, I’m lost. When are you talking about?” he asks, and you begin to dread having to explain to him what you overheard.
“In the kitchen. A few weeks ago. You said you needed a break,” you state, blinking to get rid of the tears that are blurring your eyes but instead one escapes, and rolls down your cheek, making your heartbreak evident to your boyfriend. “I heard you say I was too clingy. Annoying. Suffocating,” you wince as you speak the words that have been daggers in your heart since the moment you’d heard them.
Bucky’s jaw falls open and his face goes white as he watches you break down into sobs.
“Oh, (Y/n),” he sighs and shakes his head. “Oh my god. No no no,” he gathers you in his arms and kisses your head and cheeks and all over face.
“I never meant to be so clingy, Bucky. I’m sorry. They always told me I was too attached. I didn’t mean to bother you. I’m so sorry,” you sob into his chest.
“Sweetheart, no no no!” he quietly exclaims, pulling away from you and grabbing a tissue from the box in your coffee table to dry your stray tears. “I wasn’t talking about you!”
“You… you weren’t?” you ask shakily.
“No, sweet girl,” he assures you. “You could never be too clingy or too attached or too much anything. You’re perfect. I love your hugs and your cuddles and your kisses. I crave your cuddles when I’m gone away on missions. I wish I could bottle up your kisses and keep them in my pocket for whenever I need one. I love you, (Y/n),” he confesses, and your stomach floods with butterflies instead of sadness.
“I love you, too, Bucky,” you admit with a giggle through your tears, relief washing over you like a massive tidal wave.
“I’m so sorry you overheard that, and I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling that way for all these weeks,” he wraps his arms around you again, squeezing you tightly to him.
“It’s okay. I know I should have asked you sooner. I guess I just assumed the worst and I immediately shut down. I wanted to give you the space I thought you needed from me,” you whisper into the crook of his neck.
“I don’t need any space from you, Sweets,” he replies softly. “And I was most certainly not talking about you,” he reassures, then pulling away from you just enough to hold your eye contact.
“Who was it, then?” you ask hesitantly, though you know it’s not you.
“Alexis. That new recruit,” he begins, rolling his eyes, and you laugh at how annoyed he looks. “I was assigned to train her, but she’s got this weird thing for me. She gets way too close and touchy in training and continues with it even after training. I’ve asked her to stop, but she just hasn’t listened. I had to tell Sam about it; it was just getting too far,” he shakes his head.
“Oh, wow,” you frown, now feeling bad for Bucky as he’s had to deal with such unwanted contact with this recruit. “I’m sorry, Buck.”
“It’s not your fault, sweet girl,” he assures, leaning in to kiss you gently. “I just had to let Sam know. He’s gonna switch her out for someone else for me to train. Maybe even talk to Nat or someone who’s in charge of recruitment if it continues.”
“Good,” you nod and smile, eyes going wide in relief.
“Yeah,” Bucky also chuckles in relief. “I’m so glad we cleared this up."
"Me, too," you tell him. "I'm sorry for not telling you how I was feeling earlier. I feel like it would have avoided all of this."
"Probably," he laughs softly. "But I can't blame you for doing what you did. I can't imagine how you were feeling after hearing all that. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself when you started avoiding me, Sweets."
"Bucky, I'm so sorry," you give him a sad smile.
"No, I get it," he shakes his head and smiles, pulling you in closer, so much so that you're practically in his lap. "Now we just have a few weeks of cuddles to make up for, don't we?"
"Yes," you giggle as he feathers kisses to your neck and shoulders. "That we do."
"I love you so much, Sweetheart," he then whispers against your lips.
"I love you, too."
~♡~
thank you so much for reading! reblogs and feedback are so greatly appreciated and help out your fave writers more than you know 💘
Bucky taglist below, link in bio to be added :)
@lharrietg​​​  @enchantedbarnes​​​  @buchanansebba​​​ ​  @verygraphicink​​​​  @writing-for-marvel  @marvelatthetwilight​​​   @jackiehollanderr @lets--be-honest​​​​   @writerwrites​​​​ ​​​  @arabescapr​​​​  @real-jane​​​​  @mellyteddybear-blog​​​​ @listenthemoose​​​​ @lhharrysworld​​@mcufossilman​​​​ @danireal17​​​​​​​ @hallecarey1 @selluequestrian​​​​ @engie115 @emi11ie​​​ @matchat3a​​​ @sonicisnotsober​@balekanemohafe​​​ @mogaruke​​​ @seitmai​​​ @caplanbuckybarnes @midgardianminx​​​​ ​ @jesslove23-blog​​​ @dumb-fawkin-bitch​​​ @jessybarnes​​​ @pandaxnienke​​​ ​ @alexxavicry​​  @spideysimpossiblegirl​​ @rach2602 @samlworld @nsuiswitch @thearieunhinged
2K notes · View notes
mayhemories · 1 year
Note
Pregnancy baby trope baby daddy Neteyam x reader please
TELLING NETEYAM YOURE PREGNANT 😩😩😩😩😩😩
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Tsahik Always Knows
Oh my god!! Daddy Neyetam would be so sweet! Also, I'm sorry for the lack of posts, I've been studying overseas and this course is an intensive fieldwork unit so I have had like no time to think. Additionally, some of my tags are working and some are not - I'm so sorry if I miss out on tagging you!
Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Reader (James Cameron’s Avatar) 
Requested: Yes | No
Warnings: none. Vomit? Fluff? 
Words: 1.8k
Author’s Notes: 
Neteyam is 24, reader is 23, established relationship. AU where they never left the forest and Jake is still Olo’eyktan, Neteyam will take that mantle eventually,, happy-happy can’t read or write any more angst for real. 
Please note that the reader utilises she/her pronouns. If you’d prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns in fic I’m more than happy to repost a male or gn version of the story, otherwise include any pronoun preferences in the request box!
Tag List: @lilprettypetite @nyotamalfoy @weasleytwinwheezes @aonungs-tsahik @rainbowsocks @glitterandgoldfinds @bluealiensimp @melsunshine @ussoppl @wondxrgurll @luvlykrispy @myheartfollower @gloryavila
Read Below Cut:
You stared at the remnants of last night’s dinner on the floor. You had vomited, again. This had been happening in the mornings, on and off for the last few weeks. You did not feel sick, so why were you sick? 
Normally the vomit happened at home. Normally Neteyam had already left to tend to his duties. Normally you could clean it up and pretend like it never happened. 
The heat of your embarrassment swarmed over your neck and shoulders, sweeping up into your cheeks and ears. You knelt, frozen in place over the bile you had just produced. 
On Mo’at’s tent floor. 
She was practically, and legally, your grandmother, and had been since you were nineteen-years-old. But you never thought of her like that. She was your Tsahik, your teacher, your elder, your spiritual guide, healer of the Omaticaya. 
And you had vomited on her floor. 
Mo’at cleared her throat, sitting across from you, your shameful vomit between you. Tears welled in your eyes. This was the worst day of your life. 
“Well, luckily it was just you and me here, hm,” Mo’at said with an unusual lightness, a sweetness that was enough to spin you out of your own thoughts. 
“My Tsahik, I am so sorry I do not know-” 
“Don’t be stupid, how can you not know?” The typical biting Mo’at that you were familiar with came back, quickly. The woman leaned forward with a cloth, mopping up your watery bile like a dealdly secret to be kept between the Tsahik and her assistant.
Now, you really did not know what she meant. You sat up taller, finding a cloth to wipe your mouth clean, something tangible to hold onto. 
“My Tsahik, I promise you, I do not know what you think I know.” You whispered into the cloth at your mouth. Mo’at discarded her cloth that blotted your vomit into a wooden bowl. Some poor trainee will deal with it later. She squinted at you, taking you in. Harshly, she grabbed at your wrists, inspecting your palms, and your shaking, delicate fingers. 
She huffed as she held your wrist tightly in her left, her right hand poking at your cheek, breasts and thighs. “Hey!” you had enough of her prodding, as you pulled your wrist from her vice-like grip. 
“Lay down. Now.” The Tsahik made moves to push you back onto the woven mats on the floor. You were scared and confused and honestly, getting rather emotional. You were still reeling over the embarrassment the vomit caused you. More and more these days you found yourself crying over nothing, or getting easily embarsassed. 
You laid still, scared of Mo’at, and, scared of vomiting again. Flat on your back, you stared at the keen weavings of Mo’at’s medical tent. You hissed, looking down, Mo’at has placed a cold hollowed stone on your lower stomach, her ear pressed against it, she furrowed her brow bone. 
The elder woman jerked up once she was satisfied, discarding her stone instrument, she settled back into her seated position on the floor, you mirroring her. 
“Tsahik-” 
“You are with child, quite obviously.” Mo’at had cut you off, while simultaneously giving you news that ripped all the air from your lungs. 
Your mind was spinning. You were happy, you were sad, you were excited, you were embarrassed. How could you not see the signs within yourself? Obviously you and Neteyam mated often- 
Oh, Eywa. 
Neteyam. 
You were going to have to tell him. 
It was not like you both hadn’t spoken on the topic before, you knew you both wanted kids, a family. Additionally, children were expected, a future Olo'eyktan must be secured. 
But the two of you had not planned for it to happen so soon. You had been so careful, tonics and teas. God, Neteyam pulled out most of the time. 
Subconsciously one hand laid across your abdomen, the other covering your mouth. You felt your eyes struggling to focus on Mo’at, on anything really. You felt like a shell. A shell with a small shell inside. 
“How far along?” You whispered, normally you would scold yourself for your informality towards Mo’at, but you would give yourself a break just this once. 
“A month, maybe two. Nothing more, nothing less. You are not physically showing yet but you cannot be far away.” The rare gentleness from Mo’at rose its head once again. You were grateful for it. “Now, my lovely girl, go. Go collect yourself and tell my grandbaby that you’re having my great-grandbaby.” Mo’at said softly, helping you to your feet. 
You couldn’t remember the short walk from Mo’at’s tent to the home you shared with Neteyam. You felt as if you were on auto-pilot, blacking out and teleporting from place to place. You quickly sat on the side of your shared bed. Furs and gossamer blankets providing comfort to your shaking legs. Laying back, you stared at the gossamer canopy Neteyam had only recently erected above your bed, dangling your legs off the side. 
You rested your hands on your stomach, trying to etch into your memory what it felt like now, knowing that it will eventually swell with the growth of your baby. 
Neteyam’s baby. 
Realistically, you knew that Neteyam won’t be angry. Shocked? Maybe. But angry? Neteyam had never, ever been angry with you before. Emotionally? It was a different story, you imagined Neteyam being frustrated and screaming at you. You imagined him being disappointed. You imagined him packing his things and leaving. The passing thoughts alone were enough to put you on edge. 
Sighing aloud, you had a look at the water clock resting on the other side of the room, you still had a few hours before Neteyam was to return. You still had a few hours to pull yourself together and work out how you were going to spit it out. 
Neteyam ran his hands over his face, pulling up his ionar onto his forehead. His whole body burned from that flight. He had missed you today, not usually staying out on patrol this late, but the young recruits needed training, and Neteyam was always eager to please. But, he was a domestic man at heart, he loved being at home with you, loved pulling you to his chest, loved making whatever new thing you asked for. 
He loved nesting, he realised. Loved doing it with you. 
Striding from the Ikran keeper, Neteyam wanted nothing more than to see you. 
The warm lights of your home welcomed him, though when he peered through the gap in the curtain flap, all he saw was your anxious figure, pacing back and forth, muttering to yourself. The air was wrong, Neteyam had never really seen you like this. He watched quietly, confused as to how you had not scent him already, something was wrong with you and he would be damned if he did not find out what. 
“Oh Eywa, what am I supposed to say?” You prayed silently, wringing your wrists. You thought the pacing would bring you clarity, as it often provided your father-in-law. Yet you felt empty. And so unbearably full at the same time. In the few hours you had to wait for your mate you had come to love the little life growing in your womb.
You were so excited. You could hardly contain yourself. Neteyam would be the most perfect father. But as the night grew closer your brain started to pick itself apart. 
It was all too much. You fell to your knees in the middle of your home, letting the tears flow freely now. 
Neteyam did not let that stand for long. He quickly rushed in, picking you up and placing you in his lap. His strong arms snaking around your sobbing form. Your head quickly found is chest. He felt your hot tears streaming down your beautiful face and onto his skin. Neteyam hushed you, like he watched his mother do with his siblings, gently rocking you back and forth. It was so silent, save from your sobbing hiccups. Neteyam did not dare speak until you had stopped. 
“My love, what has happened?” He asked gently, pulling away to cup your delicate face in his large, calloused hands. His eyes found yours, and he could see something was creating great turmoil in the labyrinth of your complicated, intelligent mind. 
You sighed in response, shaking your head. Trying to find any courage at all. Knowing you have news that will change the course of someone’s life was not something you dealt with well. Maybe you were not cut out to be the clan’s spiritual leader as Tsahik. But that was a different problem for a different day. 
Neteyam placed a chaste kiss to your lips, then your cheeks, under your eyes, the tip of your nose, your forehead. You were loved, he said through the gesture. You are safe here. 
“Neteyam,” You started, softly. You were always softspoken. Something of which drove Neteyam crazy in love with you. So gentile, so docile, so calm. “I have something to tell you.” Neteyam’s stomach started to flip at your words, anxiety settling in, but like any good soldier, he willed his face into a blank expression. Giving nothing away. 
And, in turn, giving you nothing. 
“Continue my little love.” He said, putting your baby hairs behind your ears, smoothing your loose hair down as you spoke. 
“Neteyam,” You cleared your throat, forcing that invisible, metaphysical bubble away. “I am with child.” The words hung in the air between you, and all you could do was wait for your mate to respond.
Neteyam felt like he was dreaming. Of all the things he prepared for you to say, you being pregnant was not one of them. 
His tail betrayed him before his mouth did. Rapidly going side to side, the smile that erupted on Neteyam’s face threatened to split his jaw apart. 
You were carrying a baby. His baby. Your baby, together, with him. 
You melted into Neteyam’s searing kiss as he held you flush to his body. Pulling apart, Neteyam’s hands rested on your stomach, bright eyed and smily. He kissed your stomach over and over and over again. Peppering the whole area with his hot lips. You giggled at him. He was perfect. 
“Oh (y/n), I am so happy.” Neteyam kissed you again, your giggles erupting between kisses as he could not decide on what he wanted to look at, your face or your stomach. “How long have you known, sweetheart?” He rested his forehead on yours, his hands resting on your still flat stomach. 
“I found out earlier today.” You couldn’t help but smile. “Your grandmother knew.” 
Neteyam laughed, his shoulders shaking, beads of his braids clinking together. 
“She knows everything.” 
That night as the two of you laid in bed, Neteyam spooning you, you rose out of your slumber briefly. Neteyam’s tail had wrapped itself around your thigh, your own tail sat under your abdomen of its own accord. Neteyam’s fingers splayed over your stomach. He was so protective already. So in love with you and your unborn baby. 
You smiled. Shutting your eyes you thanked Eywa for gifting you with something so precious. 
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