#good years those were

[boxchewr]

oh god he went to 2014 tumblr. i can hear the gay trash sinnamon roll uwu butts eggs (by fall out boy) jokes as we speak

#my art #my ocs #oc: ryker #artists on tumblr #2010s nostalgia #everyones nostalgic for flipnote hatena style and 2000s core era sparkledog style #me? im nostalgic for this kind of style. from like 2013 #that calarts sort of look if you will but even more loose and amateurish. the version predating steven universe #cant recall now who specifically popularized that style but i do remember EVERYONE drawing like that for a while #good years those were

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[cemeterything]

so weird being an eldest sibling who can't relate to most of the "eldest sibling memes". not the being a surrogate parent against your will to your younger siblings and being expected to set the bar for success in everything you did, i did have to deal with that, but all the jokes about how you were the only one resembling an actual normal human being in your family and your younger siblings were like imps sent from hell to torment you. because out of me and my brother i was the devil sibling. he didn't like to bring his friends over to our house because they were scared of his creepy sister who would stare out at them from the windows with her horrible dead shark's eyes and read books and watch shows on tv with photos of real life decomposing corpses and diseased rotting flesh in them that would give them nightmares.

#🐉 #i unintentionally terrified so many of my brothers friends by just hanging out in the living room watching horror movies #when he had them around for sleepovers #and like. wildlife and medical shows. it was usually those because we didnt have good tv and i had to save up to buy dvds from the store. #unironically my teen years were like those 'guys say they want a goth gf but if they met a real goth gf theyd get scared' posts

[c6jpg]

genshin impact ❖ teyvat storyline, 4/?

#genshin #genshinedit #genshinet #genshin impact #mondstadt #liyue #inazuma #sumeru #m:gfx #m:* #m:gfx:all #flashing tw #trying something different :> although it nearly killed my laptop for good in the process #i've been wanting to do something representative of the archon quests for a while #and then i rediscovered those stamps from last year's new years web event and wanted to use them #but that's also why fontaine isn't here because it doesn't have one OTL sorry fontaine enjoyers #i considered making the stamp myself but i'm too lazy and this whole thing was already a lot of effort #the scenes i tried to balance it between like. key/memorable moments + different characters + cohesive compositions #(e.g. nothing too chaotic with movement and angles like most fight scenes tend to be) #the quotes similarly were ones i personally found really memorable and/or representative of the archon quest in question #i didn't even realize all of them except inazuma had their nation's theme (freedom contracts wisdom) in them until i put this together #so i skimmed through for an eternity one for inazuma but honestly i couldn't find any i wanted to use more than the ambitions one #and ambitions is a major theme the inazuma quest focused on that tied a lot into the themes of eternity anyways #if i had included fontaine the quote i chose would have balanced it out since that one doesn't explicitly say justice either #it was gonna be neuvillette's line #you are a devious one focalors. things as being as they are... surely you know that i could never again declare them to be 'guilty'

[alicenpai]

forgotten playthings, forgotten child 🧸

Jack from my series Lost & Found Children 🤍🖤

i hope to showcase more of my ocs in 2024 hehe! im FINALLY getting around to finishing art i left to rot in my folders (the pandora hearts drawing last month being one of em). if you saw the WIP of THIS particular drawing 2 yrs ago... no you didn’t 💔

my charas are very personal to me, but tbh ive always been a bit hesitant to share their stories. over time i realized ... it’s kind of a shame to not make art from one’s heart. which is something i regret a lot year after year whenever i make my yearly art summary reflection. i'm like damn i need to make more emotionally evoking pieces!!! so i'm gonna keep going in 2024 with that in mind ❤ i have to admit, although this drawing started 2 years ago, and there's a lot i would do differently if i were to supposedly draw it now - this concept goes pretty hard.

the final drawing stayed pretty close to the original concept which im so relieved for! i think part of the reason why i left it on the backburner for so long, was the fact that i included so many details, and i was unsure of how to colour the "background". (not to mention stuff like cons & real life getting in the way).

i'm glad for discovering a really handy watercolour brush, it's helped me a lot in my last few drawings, bc i dont have to colour in each detail. especially since the witch hat atelier: eternal ephemera zine piece i did. otherwise if i coloured this back in 2022 with my usual method, i'm pretty sure i really would have included a shading and highlight layer for each individual toy... HAHAHA. much to think about

oh yeah and in the last few days of drawing this i was listening to some visual kei bands. i love how some of the band members literally have been performing since like the 90s or something and DO NOT AGE and are literal vampires. every so often i fall back into visual kei (you can tangentially thank aggretsuko although yes i know it's not the same). and i kind of realized. i like Jack's edgy design so much because he looks like. a visual kei esque vampire.

#illustration #artists on tumblr #original #original character #my ocs #jack #i will post more on my ocs eventually... slowly.. this coming year #2024 will be the year of the oc..... definitely want to lean into developing my stories & charas & gothic aesthetic a lot more hehe #leaning into like. whatever late 2000s manga had going on with their dark aesthetics - pandora hearts. black butler. d gray man etc #those mangaka were drinking some good shit. permanently altered my little teenage brain forever #i also managed to record a timelapse of this drawing #but my computer cant handle timelapses on csp so i had to like. save this drawing in different parts #so ill have to stitch together the timelapse videos #sorry. got rid of the closeup bc it didn't look that great #ill post it in the read more later #lost and found children

[ganonfan1995]

Burnt out

#initially this was meant to be something else entirely #but i wasn't really liking how it was going so I scrapped the idea and opted out for something a bit more personal #ive been really suffering from burn out for the last few years and just barely keeping my head above water #there are times where i seriously feel like ive failed in every aspect of my career #like if i were good enough i wouldn't have burnt out #i love my job and i love my trade i love every skill ive gain up until this point #but its been hard not to take it personally when all the effort you've put into honing those skills #are abused or exploited #life is difficult enough already and and time is fleeting #taking time for yourself is above all the most important thing you can do to help your work flourish #taking a break isn't failure #its health #we aren't machines despite our industries treating us as such #just waiting and hoping that itll pay off #ive certainly learned my lesson #and im looking forward to brighter horizons #and healthier more respectful ones #ill be okay ive learned how to love my art in my personal time again #but i certainly need to let my mind rest and my body to recover #these tags are lengthy anyways #unionize and dont work for nothing from large companies #be gay do drugs love your friends make art for yourself too #my art #scuttles out of here #i hope these long ass images actually show up in full resolution #i did draw them fucking TOLL as hell

[annonir]

#goncharov #goncharov (1973) #look i'm not pitting two bad bitches against each other #even though the godfather was released first they were both developped around the same time #perhaps goncharov's notoriety was helped by the mafia film genre being popularised by coppola the year prior #but goncharov's exploration of the mafia world is simply just as gripping if not more #and its themes and motifs are EXTREMELY different from those in The Godfather #but yeah both are good even though I have more fondness for Goncharov of course #martin scorsese #francis ford coppola

[sysig]

Well aren’t you so popular (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Temmie #Gaster #Alphys #These were the original ideas I had in mind with the prompt of Temmie or Alphys btw lol #I just didn't have the time/practice/space to mess up and get everything done in time! Now though ♪ #Man! I can't believe it's been this long to draw Alphys! I really like her!! #I might've drawn her initially when I first got into Undertale but that's been A Couple years now lol ♪ If I did it's been a good long while #Definitely out of practice - and same for Temmie - I think I did draw her but it's been such a long time!! #I might've pulled just a little bit of inspiration from Nny for Temmie's clothes lol - I was thinking of Tem Shop's Tem with the stripes so~ #It's called a motif it's fine lol #But yes! That first one of him holding Temmie with his knees and poking her toe beans was my initial thought of those two haha #She's not Really fighting him that much - if she really wanted to leave it's not like he's restricting her movement lol just some wiggles #Making faces #And then he just lets her bite him lol - isn't he such a patient and kind soul! He's so nice and placid and peaceful :) #Just enjoys everyone's company so much no matter what they do to him ♪ #Alphysssss <3 I had no ideas for how to differentiate her look other than the blank glasses look haha #Spooky! But other than that she's just her with different body language lol #I do like the image of her being all scary and intimidating meanwhile she's got a cute skirt on under her lab coat lol - it's cute ♪ #What did Gaster do to garner such negative attention? :0 Went around picking up her anime figures lol #And then for funsies some classic Handplates!Alphys yaaaay <3 <3 <3 #Will I ever stop drawing his wings as actual feathery fluffy wings? But they're so cute! #Alphys clearly thinks so too lol - she would be all over a good twin/clone thing for Gaster haha #Gaster not so much lol #''Please Dr. Alphys have some dignity -.ó'' lol #And then since I'd been looking around the gallery and saw winged Alphys again I wanted to draw them together hehe <3 #Stretches! Wing yoga! Flapping at each other to cool down or just be silly hehe ♪♫ It's all very cute

[arcanegifs]

#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT #ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO #personal tag #dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl #because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol #i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives #these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive #ik we're getting new stuff in a few months #and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like #i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly #i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times #binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol #i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo #I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL #I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane #but like..... idk man i miss content lmao #iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed #so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now #anyways im gonna go bye bye

[james-p-sullivan]

#lost my mind at this scene as a kid #still one of my favourite scenes all these years later #naruto #rock lee #kakashi hitake #gaara of the sand #kankuro #naruto uzumaki #naruto gifs #my gifs #gifsets #chunin exams #im thinking about rewatching the show #fuck I loved everything about the chunin exams #even though I know the creator was rushed into it #ahhhhhhh those scenes were so good where they’re going from classmates to ‘if i don’t trust my life with these people we’ll all die’ #i unironically love naruto and im not afraid to say it

[bowl-of-fruit-loops]

I see your “satoru couldn’t bear to see suguru’s body destroyed” and I raise you “shoko couldn’t bear to do it”

#imagine it. you’re ieri shoko and one of your only friends is in your morgue and yeah. you’ve been doing this for years #you’ve taught yourself to see skinmeatmuscle&organ&bone instead of a person’s body. and you’re a fast learner so you’ve gotten good at it #(you’re a prodigy. you’re classmates were titans but you’re a breakthrough.) #and now there’s suguru. and what’s three years against a decade. maybe those three years were so good until it turned sour #gone bad like a fruit you don’t know is rotten until you bite into it #and three years is so little time and you’ve had a decade to brace for this #because of course this was never going to end any other way. either suguru or satoru were going to end up in your hands #because they’re dramatic like that #three years of suguru&satoru and shoko is barely anything. you had fifteen years before that and ten years after #you can’t bring yourself to burn him #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #ieri shoko #sashisu #anyway I’m writing a fic abt this. if my rambling in the tags didn’t tell u that #writing fics in google docs? no. write fics in the tumblr tags

[perpetuallyboo]

Shout out to everyone this season who has been SO HYPED for the rat grinders to get what they fucking deserve and get OBLITERATED in the fight!!!! absolutely insane battle going on but seeing how pathetic the rat grinders really are in an actual battle alongside how All In everyone is in fighting them is SO GOOOOD AHHHH!!!!

#Also for those that havent wanted to see that rat grinders get hurt #I can understand where yall are coming from but like. #come on. #“theyre kids” SO ARE ALL THE BAD KIDS!! SO WAS LUCY!! SO IS BUDDY!! LIKE!!! #absolute rant incoming #Yes they absolutely got manipulated by porter- but also #they were already being pretty horrible people In That Year that they wanted to cheat the system while complaining about 'Unfairness' #bad things have happened to them #but bad things happening to Bad People doesnt make them Good. You can have bad things happen to you and still be a really horrible person- #they are currently trying to summon what they think is a corrupted dead god to rule over the world with RAGE killing however many they want #i am SO fucking hyped theyre getting some fucking consequences #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #dimension 20 #fantasy high #rat grinders

[gabrieldrawsstuff]

first time i drew techno vs the latest time ive drawn techno: 4 YEARS OF DRAWING TECHNOBLADE

#technoblade #mcyt #art isnt even my passion i just kinda do it to destress so this 4 year progress is good enough for me #one thing that stuck in his design is the short curly hair lmao #btw thank you to those like three motherfuckers always reblogging my shit u were here from the BEGINNING

[lesbiandardevil]

the fool

#like the tarot card yknow #giggling and kicking my feet cause im so smart #you wouldn't get it #except you should because im right #anyway !! #colors... #daredevil year one (title i made up) you will always be famous #those were the good days ! #my art #daredevil stuff #daredevil #matt murdock #daredevil comics #marvel #marvel comics #marvel daredevil #comics art #tarot cards #the fool #image description in alt

[melspontaneus]

somewhere between the 60's & 70's

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #aziracrow #i like to think they were close in those years #it makes the “you go too fast for me crowley” more painful #i had these doodle ideas and then neil said THAT THING ABOUT THE SIXTIES I AM DECEASED #doodles #myart