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a-very-fond-farewell · 4 years

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The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 24/?

CLAMP AU n.3 [chengyu? yucheng? (JC/MXY) edition. don’t...question my taste bruh]: “Somewhere, sometime.”

[tw eating disorders mentioned + tw suicide mention (body sacrifice)]

[ok fam. ok. I get it. I would basically ship JC with a rock if it meant I could play with my crack AUs. but I have solid evidence for this one. I promise you.]

[so, “Kobato” from CLAMP is possibly my favorite series from them. it’s 6 volumes long, roughly 40 chapters (and I only recently found out there was an epilogue...even though it was not there in my published version of the series. bc your local cryptid did in fact buy the entire thing in the flesh, that’s how much I love it)]

[in this AU I’ll change some things for the sake of consistency, but I suggest you read it bc the hurt/comfort and pining is enjoyable...so...if you read my silly AU I’m afraid I will spoil the plot for u :( and that’s the last thing I want to do...I understand if you decide to go read the manga and skip my prompt. it’s ok, I’m fine, go and have fun ;-;]

[if you kept reading, hi :D]

[now. am I uncomfortable with certain common tropes in CLAMP’s work in general? yes. especially the age gaps between some of the characters, some of which are not adults. hence the reason behind the changes in this AU. but! the aesthetics fam. the beautiful drawings. the cute outfits. (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

do you see these?? how cute would Mo XuanYu look in these fam?? I honestly hc him enjoying skirts and feminine outfits a whole lot, but you can imagine him with pants and they would be just as cute. my favorite one is the second from the left btw.]

(imagine Mo XuanYu like this btw and check out the fancomic by the same op! an anon suggested it to me a while ago and now I’m hooked!)

[other mangacaps bc you need visuals:

yeah. angry boy meets bby with a mission to accomplish, bonding over their inferiority complex. yep. I only love the nicest things in life. that’s me.

also look at my baby girl ;-; so cuTe]

[the title is from the ost from the anime series, “Itsuka dokoka de” (check it out!). the anime feels more cohesive than the original manga, possibly bc the pacing is handled a little bit better (since the manga was cut short and the end felt a bit sloppy, but the emotional engagement was still good). and I remember being 17 and crying like a baby when this song came in. if you don’t have time for the manga binge the anime instead! there are plot holes in both of them and the stories are different but still both very enjoyable if you like soft things and angsty vibes.]

[enjoy!]

When YanLi saw him for the first time in front of her door, at the beginning of spring, she thought XuanYu was too pretty and too young for his own good. Sitting across her on the floor, a tea set between them as he politely answered her questions, the boy couldn’t have looked older than sixteen yet he assured her he was of age and well into adulthood. Which seemed pretty difficult to assess, not with the way he dressed: cute button down, beret slightly askew on top of his pretty head and an old-looking suitcases in hand. She didn’t mention the stuffed black rabbit poking out from the front pocket of his luggage, which seemed more of a comfort thing than a reliable source of company.

Moreover, Jin Ling seemed transfixed by him, toddling his way towards their guest asking for cuddles... something her son had never done in front of strangers.

XuanYu refused to give his last name, nor did he have an ID he could show her, nor did he seem worried about how strange that was. And YanLi knew ZiXuan would have been against it, but she couldn’t leave the kid looking all over Lanling for a place to stay... so she gave him the only available room in their rundown pension.

She only hoped Jiang Cheng would be a nice neighbor and leave the kid alone. Who knew what horrors XuanYu was running away from, after all.

When XiChen heard from YanLi of her new tenant, he would have never guessed the kid to look so naive. Not in a bad way, mind you. But his smiles, for how genuine they seemed to be, looked a little bit too big. A little bit too strained not to be a distraction tactic from his part. Or maybe XiChen had lived too long surrounded by fake smiles and closed off people to not worry.

That’s probably why he gave XuanYu a job when YanLi asked him to look over the kid. More to prove himself there were still trustworthy people in the world than to give the younger man a chance. He couldn’t even pay him a full salary, not with the debt collectors breathing on his neck as he tried to run his late mother’s kindergarten.

But maybe that would have been enough for now. A starting point for something better, something new.

A-Yuan had always known the kindergarten used to be an orphanage back in the days, but now he had reached an age where doubts stuck to his head instead of being forgotten with the passing of time. Wen Qing and A-Ning were always busy -be it in the hospital or in university- and A-Yuan didn’t know if they loved him enough to keep him. Ever since granny had passed away he had wondered, day after day, when his cousins would have left him behind for good.

He was thinking about such things when he first met XuanYu, on the man’s first day on the job as a teaching assistant. A-Yuan was mulling over his sadness when XuanYu had come to his rescue, asking him what was wrong... before enthusiastically praising his cousins for working so hard after hearing they were late to take A-Yuan home. XuanYu stayed with him and they played on the swings as they waited for A-Ning to come pick him up, apologizing profusely.

On the way home, his cousin held him close and kissed his forehead as he asked him if he had had fun with the new teacher. And A-Yuan felt less doubtful afterwards.

After hearing the story from her brother, Wen Qing had made it her job to look into XuanYu and his weird approach to life in general. She took every opportunity she could grasp to spy on the younger man, lunch breaks be damned. She needed to confirm if the kid was a trust worthy person or a runaway child pretending to be older than what he actually was. Well, maybe tailing an unsuspecting young man on the streets of Lanling in scrubs and sunglasses would be considered a bit much, she could admit as much. But it was the thought that counted, no?

Her friend MianMian told her to knock it off and talk to the kid like a normal human being, but the truth was that... well, XuanYu was really too weird to be considered normal. He seldom put himself in dangerous situations without much care, such as picking up a random (and still lit) cigarette from the ground just to give it back to the person who had “accidentally dropped it”. Other times he would cross a road without looking left and right first, risking to be run over by cars at every corner. He never, never, fumbled with a phone and he frequently talked to himself... sometimes even directing his words to that creepy stuffed rabbit of his.

No thank you, Wen Qing felt safer behind light poles and crumpled newspapers held upside down. Even if that made her look sketchy as fuck.

Wen Ning made sure to arrive on time to pick A-Yuan up after that time, often chatting with XuanYu as they waited for his baby cousin to retrieve his backpack and raincoat. It was refreshing to speak with the younger man, no matter how weird he acted sometimes. Like that time A-Yuan asked him to tie his shoe-laces for him and XuanYu didn’t know how to do it. Or that time they caught the man taking a nap on the floor in the middle of the school hall. Or that time XiChen had ordered a cake for one of the kids’ birthday and XuanYu didn’t seem to know how to sing the birthday song.

Wen Ning had no place to judge, after all. But XuanYu’s smiles felt like balm on his heart. And if his sweet voice followed Wen Ning home as he bounced A-Yuan in his arms, well. Nobody needed to know that.

The last thing Meng Yao would have expected to hear that summer day when he called the kindergarten was a voice so different from XiChen’s. Startled, he had confusedly asked if the kid worked there and how so, given that the school definitely couldn’t afford to hire anyone. He ought to know. He was the debt collector.

But the kid apologized, introduced himself, and then explained XiChen had offered him a part-time job out of kindness more than out of need. The idiot. XiChen should have remembered who his money belonged to instead of taking charity cases left and right.

But when Meng Yao said as much to naive XuanYu, the other vehemently protested, surprising the debt collector with strong opinions on how he shouldn’t underestimate other people’s intelligence and kindness in the first place.

Meng Yao laughed out at that, genuinely so.

There was more to that kid XuanYu than what one would have expected.

Nie HuaiSang caught a first glimpse of the mystery man only in late summer, when XuanYu stepped into his cake shop to look at the display. His coworker MianMian seemed to recognize the younger man immediately, greeting him by saying they had a friend in common, namely Wen Qing. The kid merely tilted his head and answered he had never formerly met “Miss. Wen” and that he only knew who she was from what the woman’s younger brother had told him about her.

MianMian shrugged and smiled at him.

To which HuaiSang asked him what they could do for him and XuanYu... just... stopped working. Saying that he had wondered if he could do something for them instead. Apparently, Wen Ning had let it slip they were currently understaffed and needed a hand to deliver their sweets.

Delighted, MianMian set him to work, no matter how many times HuaiSang assured her they didn’t need to force the kid to help them... also because they didn’t actually have the means to pay him in kind. But XuanYu refused money altogether, simply asking them to let him help.

To their amusement (and horror) XuanYu didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, so he insisted on covering the deliveries by foot in the neighborhood instead.

HuaiSang called XiChen on the phone that same evening, asking him to give the kid some slack the following day. And maybe buy him some balm for blisters as well.

Jin Ling was young but he wasn’t stupid. Turning three had made him wiser, he knew as much. So he knew XuanYu was magical. He just did.

His pretty-gege talked with stuffed animals, always wore nice things, and kept in his satchel bag a vial filling up with magical candies every time he did something nice for others. A-Ling had seen it with his own eyes, that time XuanYu had put a plaster on his scrapped knee and blew on it to make the pain go away: the golden candy had appeared in the bottle out of nowhere and XuanYu had asked him to keep the secret.

And A-Ling may have been young, but he wasn’t a snitch.

No sir.

ZiXuan eventually stumbled upon their new tenant even though YanLi had tried everything in her power to prevent it. He was very displeased with her: taking a scrawny kid in, cutting his rent in half merely because he couldn’t afford to pay the room in full. Utter nonsense.

No matter how much this kid XuanYu praised A-Ling’s personality or YanLi’s cooking, no matter how much he smiled and made himself look accommodating and unthreatening. ZiXuan didn’t work pro bono even at the firm, let alone for his wife’s business.

Yet, when he asked to be let inside the kid’s room to formally discuss the terms of his contract (and tell him to pack his things and leave at the end of summer), ZiXuan was left speechless. There was no bed, no table or chairs. The fridge wasn’t humming and the AC wasn’t working. The only things he could see were the younger man’s clothes neatly folded in his open suitcase or hanging by the window to dry. No books, no snacks, no nothing.

Usually tenants brought their things in right off the bat, their stuff mailed in within a week after moving in. YanLi was very particular about it, she would have not overlooked something like that. But maybe she had been too busy with A-Ling these past few months and hadn’t noticed the kid was actually too poor to even breathe.

And now that he looked at him, XuanYu looked suspiciously skinny.

Was he sleeping on the floor? Didn’t he have covers for the colder season? Was his fridge broken, empty, or -gods forbid- purposely left with no power because the kid couldn’t afford the electricity bill?

“Do you actually live like this?”

XuanYu didn’t answer to that, but smiled anyway. It looked sinister in a way ZiXuan couldn’t explain, afraid of the things such a young man may or may not have endured in the past. And was maybe still enduring now.

The following day ZiXuan gave the kid their spare futon they bought in Japan on their honeymoon. They never had guests anyway and they could afford to pay for a tenant’s electricity bill every now and then, they weren’t poor.

Certainly YanLi would have agreed with him on the matter.

JinGy saw it. He did! He wasn’t lying! Xuan-ge was there, surrounded by darkness and shadows, looking over the children during their nap time, only a sliver of light coming from the door left ajar... casting shadows on half of his pretty face.

And he saw him reviving that stuffed black rabbit he always had on him.

The rabbit just rose on his hind legs and turned his head up and started whispering things to Xuan-ge, who nodded every now and then in deep though.

JinGyi had read about how paper-man talismans had been stuff of legends in the past. His books spoke of ancient times in which even corpses could be brought back to life. How even animals could turn into godly beasts if enough resentful energy polluted them. But he would have never thought magic could actually be real and so easy to play with.

And Xuan-ge had looked nothing but beautiful as he was talking to the stuffed animal, humming softly under his breath.

When Jiang Cheng dropped out of university for the second time, YanLi didn’t say anything and instead welcomed him back in his old room. So much for enrolling in law school at twenty-three, uh? ZiXuan would have been disappointed in him like the first time that had happened in his bachelor anyway, no point in avoiding the man. It was autumn anyway: it was either going back to the apartment complex or look for a new flatmate. But the school housing had rightfully kicked him out after dropping out in the middle of the academic year, so there would have been little hope for him to find a new place anytime soon.

What he did not expect to find was a new tenant living next door.

Sleeping in front of the door, clutching a satchel bag and a fucking stuffed animal on his lap.

Jiang Cheng jolted him awake and took in the sight of his shoulder length hair, his long lashes and sleepy eyes and thought he looked ridiculous. Wearing a silly hat and moccasins, purple shadows under his eyes, a confused expression on his worn out face. When asked what the hell he was doing there, sleeping out of his room instead of inside of it, the younger man said he had forgotten his keys inside that morning.

He was clearly an idiot, so Jiang Cheng walked away and returned to his room after more than a year away. If someone asked him who had rung YanLi to bring the spare keys to help the idiot he would have shrugged at them and shut the door in their face.

He didn’t have time for that, he had to think how to ask XiChen to let him back to work at the school the following day.

A-Qing had seen many things in life, met many horrible people, dealt with the scum of the scum... but she had yet to meet XuanYu.

A menace. A hurricane. A fool. The amount of times she had had to scoop him up from the ground after he had clumsily slipped on invisible bananas and such should have earned her a honorary title for outstanding citizen. It’s been months since his arrival and the kids had already learned to make way whenever they saw him. He inspired fear even in their tiny heads, honestly. What a fellow teaching assistant, really.

She was just there to score brownie points for his electives and internship program to become a social service worker, that was true. But she cared about the kids enough to know she had to do something about that. The children loved XuanYu and they were this fucking close to either worship him like a small deity or criminal and something ought to be done.

The last thing she would have expected to see, however, was Jiang Cheng coming back so soon. Crawling back from university to ask to work there, wagging his tail like the lovesick dog he was. She could easily imagine what the older student would have said to XiChen, something on the line of “you know goddamn well I’m not doing it for the money. I grew up here, I don’t want to see this place crumbling down. I’m definitely not doing it because I’m in love with you and seeing you sad makes me want to gag.”

Well, maybe the last part could be considered artistic license from her part, but judging by what she could overhear behind XiChen’s office door... yep. She had definitely nailed the part about being fond of the ex-orphanage and for the rest... the sentiment was there. The pining bastard.

“Do you need anything, A-Qing?”, XuanYu asked her out of no-fucking-where, startling her as she pretended to dust off the floor very close to a door. Cheek-plastered-on-it kind of close.

“Nothing. Mind your business,” she answered, flustered as fuck.

XuanYu couldn’t be that naive, he knew what he was fucking doing. His creepy little smile so similar to the one the debt collect always had on his face. No wonder XiChen had fallen for such a tricky bitch.

“Then will you help me find JinGyi? He doesn’t want me to help him with his project for the festival and went into hiding again.”

There, that smile and knowing gaze. Judging poser. He looked much older than his alleged twenty years. He knew what he was fucking doi...

“You?!”

Jiang Cheng’s honest-to-gods screech pulled A-Qing out of her thoughts. She turned and had to witness XiChen amiably patting Jiang Cheng on the head as their boss explained him how XuanYu worked there.

“It’s been almost six months now, he’s a very valuable kid and helped out around here while you were studying.”

Jiang Cheng was both livid and red with longing, because his touch-starved ass was all over that hand patting him platonically on the head. He was also angry, which was default for him... but there was something else underneath. Something promising in the way he stared XuanYu down.

Maybe A-Qing could win some candy by betting with the kids about such unexpected turn of events.

ZiZhen believed A-Yi. If his friend had told him the new teacher assistant was a witch then he was right. So they had started researching witches at the school, but only found a couple of colored books on the matter, mostly useless. All but one, telling the story of a nanny called Mary Poppins... some western thing.

But everything checked for the most part. The hat was there, every day a different one, but ultimately never leaving XuanYu’s head. The umbrella was not, but both him and A-Yuan had seen their gege with a parasol once and that was enough. His satchel contained infinite amount of things, from sweets to possessed stuffed animals, like a qiankun bag from the legends! He talked with things as if he could control them.

Well, even the teacher sometimes tried to convince the printer to work with sweet words, gently coaxing it back to life... maybe that was just how adults functioned. Even his dad would ask the fridge where his favorite cake had disappeared sometimes. Adults were weird.

Fuck Lanling. Rain day and night, autumn planning everyone’s demise by flooding every bloody year. Xue Yang was over it.

He took a random umbrella from the rack by the door of the convenience store and left without a second thought, already wondering what he could say to convince XingChen to offer him dinner somewhere new. The man wasn’t married anymore after all, so Xue Yang could technically have his way with him now, right?

“Excuse me!”

Xue Yang was not in the mood for people calling him out on his bullshit that night, but he turned anyway and saw the weirdest thing. A young man roughly his age, maybe a year or so younger, drenched from head to toe after rushing to him. He was panting, clutching a plastic bag full of cleaning supplies from the convenience store Xue Yang had just left.

“I believe you mistakenly took my umbrella,” the other said, pretty face framed by wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks.

Amused, Xue Yang shut the clear plastic umbrella he had “mistakenly taken” and held it at arm’s length by the handle, directing the pointy edge to the other like a sword. Hell if he was going to get wet himself, he needed to prove something to the idiot. He could handle a bit of rain for the sake of being dramatic.

“You want it back?” Xue Yang asked, rising his chin and arching an eyebrow at the other. The man nodded, holding his now wet beret in place on top of his head as if he was more worried about it falling on the ground than keeping his crown dry.

“I knew it was someone else’s when I took it.”

“But...?”

“And what’ll you give me back for it? What are you gonna do about it?”

This should have taught him not to mess with him: he didn’t even have to use his business tone to make the other take a step back. Meng Yao, the bastard, had taught him smiles went a long way in dealing with stupid people after all.

“Right, if I take it from you... you won’t have one to go back home with.”

Uh?

“Wait here. I’ll go buy you one at the convenience store. I’ll be back.”

Uh??

The idiot actually run back to the store and purchased him a fucking umbrella. And Xue Yang was twice as stupid because he waited for him to come back, startled as he was. The idiot was smiling megawatt bright when he came back as well, what the fuck?

The sick bastard extended the clear plastic umbrella to him like Xue Yang had done earlier, but he held it by the middle, as if surrendering his weapon. It was fairly similar to the one Xue Yang had stolen anyway, why bother asking for his umbrella back?

“Did your dead mother give this particular one to you or something?”

The bite in his words only mildly deterred the other man, who pressed his lips together before forcing an even bigger smile on his face.

“No. It’s pretty cheap. But it’s mine. It’s the first thing I bought with my money.”

Xue Yang left after that. With the stolen umbrella. Because he was still a scumbag and not a sentimental asshole. But he was very quiet that evening when XingChen treated him to some fancy takeout on his couch while lovingly drying Xue Yang’s hair with a towel.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Qin Su worried over Jiang Cheng. He was her best worker, but she knew for a fact that he had a million part-time jobs in town and she didn’t want to overwork him. She also knew he would give all of his hard-earned money to XiChen anyway. All to pay a stupid debt. The huge lovesick idiot.

Was he the fastest delivery driver? Yes. Was he the most well behaved of his staff? Not even close. But he was respectful enough to work over his issues and she trusted him with doing his job at the end of the day.

So when she found a young man in a frilly outfit waiting for her on the lobby of her shop asking for Jiang Cheng... well, she was pleasantly surprised.

He introduced himself as XuanYu and held a lunch box in his hands, saying Jiang Cheng had forgotten it at home. Which left A-Su properly impressed. How could a man as angry as Jiang Cheng secure himself such a lovely person was beyond her comprehension, honestly.

He was adorable and she wanted to be his sister like, yesterday.

But when Jiang Cheng came back from a delivery, entering the dumpling shop with his helmet still on, he stared XuanYu down and told him off right off the bat.

“Not you again,” he said, to A-Su’s utter confusion, “Can’t you take a fucking hint? I’m already avoiding you at work. I don’t want to be your friend.”

Something akin to hurt painted XuanYu’s feature for a fraction of a second before he could retrieve his smile and point at the lunch box.

“Your sister asked me to give this to you on my way out. A-Ling helped making rice cakes this time and wanted to hear from you if you liked them or not.”

Qin Su could have easily missed the change in XuanYu’s voice at that, that’s how much of a good actor he was. But Jiang Cheng had no face even to feel ashamed for lashing out at the kid like that. How much older could he be from XuanYu, three years? Two? Had nobody taught him some respect?

“XuanYu, if he bullies you again you come here. Am I understood?”

Like hell she was gonna let this gem of a child slip away from Jiang Cheng’s hands.

Not in a million years.

Song Lan breathed in and out. In and out. The clear morning air surrounded him like an old friend, hugging him closely as he clutched the papers for his divorce.

XingChen had signed them in the end. Five years together were now in the past for him.

Maybe they had been too young back then, when they had taken the chance to get married the moment the government announced the change in the law for people like them. How old have they been, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Another lifetime. An existence away.

He wished he could cry. It would have been easier.

But, as he turned a corner, someone stumbled into him and sent the papers scattering on the sidewalk. Song Lan tried to save them from being dirtied on a puddle but was unsuccessful. He didn’t know why he bothered anymore. It felt like the last piece of his lover had left and Song Lan couldn’t even prevent something as simple as that. XingChen’s signature dirtied in a pool, but not enough to be washed away. What a joke.

The young man in front him bowed down, apologizing profusely, trying to save the documents at the best of his abilities. He even suggested finding a public toilet to dry the sheets under the hot air blowing machine, the silly man.

Song Lan smiled instead, reassuring him it was fine.

He was fine.

But the kid accidentally read the first few lines of the agreement before looking up at Song Lan. And where he would have expected pity, Song Lan only saw consternation instead on his pale face. It was so startling to see it, that he had to crouch back down on the ground next to the kid and reassure him everything was fine. It was just paper, it wasn’t important, he didn’t have to feel so guilty about...

“It is important. Your life is important.”

Such a dramatic sentence, uttered so vehemently, should have sounded weird to Song Lan. Especially because he disapproved of such antics in the first place. But it sounded so sincere, so earnest that he felt touched for a moment.

So he helped the kid up on his feet and asked him to walk a bit with him, to keep him company. Reserved as he was, he would have never thought possible opening up to a stranger the way he did that day. But there was something calming about the kid, almost as if he had been put on earth to soothe other people’s existence.

So he told him how his husband had fallen in love with someone else, someone much younger than them. How this had strained their marriage even if Song Lan had known all along his husband had the ability to fall in love with more than one person at a time. But Song Lan was monogamous and would have never justified forcing his lover to suppress his feelings just to please him. So it had been Song Lan himself to call it quits and wish him all the luck in the world.

The kid had started crying at some point, without Song Lan even noticing at first.

“Why are you crying? Please no, I didn’t wan to upset you.”

“So much love. In different ways but... it’s too much. There’s so much of it, of course I’m crying for you and your loved one.”

Song Lan was many things. Too stern, too rigid, too peculiar about who could touch him or not, too cold in expressing his emotions. But he felt warm then, in front of a kid crying for him in the middle of the street, one day of late autumn.

“Thank you.”

***

XuanYu let it slip once with Mrs. Jin how little he remembered of his past.

It wasn’t a lie, he really didn’t remember what it had been of him before he had met her, asking for a room. But the kind woman just assumed he was talking about his past or youth, so he didn’t correct her on the matter.

Knowing the truth would have scared her, after all.

But he still let himself trust her that day as they sat in front of a pot of tea and he pretended to drink and eat the pastries on the low table. He didn’t need to eat or drink. He wasn’t even sure he had a digestive system.

“I only remember... a song.”

“A song?”

“Yes. Someone singing every night before falling asleep. I don’t think it was meant for me to hear... but my body remembers the shivers. The feeling of being loved.”

“The body remembers the weirdest things, XuanYu. You should trust it more.”

He smiled at that, wriggling his hands on the handkerchief where he had hidden the pastries from sight.

“I’m pretty sure that song wasn’t for me. My body was merely there to listen.”

YanLi looked uncomfortable at that, something scary painting her features.

“Maybe I was eavesdropping,” he reassured her with a self-deprecating joke, not sure if that would have made her feel more at ease or not, “Maybe I was listening in, hoping such lovely words could be directed at me for once.”

Mrs. Jin sipped her tea for a long while afterwards, before finding the resolution to look up and stare him down with a serious expression.

“Unrequited feelings hurt, don’t they?”

XuanYu didn’t know what she meant by that, but he nodded anyway.

He heard something rustling in his bag and hid the sweets inside of it the moment YanLi turned to clear the table. If A-Ling heard someone munching their protests away from inside of the bag, he didn’t snitch on XuanYu and retrieved playing with Fairy on the carpeted floor next to him instead.

Lan Zhan was disappointed in him, XuanYu knew that much. They were admiring the sunset from the small balcony in their room, folding laundry.

XuanYu always wondered why Lan Zhan assumed the form of a black stuffed rabbit, of all things, but he didn’t want to pry. He didn’t even know his real name. The other had told him he used to be a human in his past life and that he hadn’t technically reincarnated in this lifetime. That his current form was just a mean to a goal, that he could use it to guide XuanYu and help him better that way without expending much spiritual energy.

He told him someone dear to him taught him how to manipulate paper-man talismans in his previous life. How similar the process had been to move around in a stuffed animal’s body. How convenient.

XuanYu believed he secretly loved it, even if Lan Zhan would have never said as much. He already talked very little to begin with.

“You told her you don’t remember your past.”

“That I did.”

“Don’t do it again”

XuanYu folded the last towel on his lap and then let Lan Zhan take a nap on it. He felt silly having to take showers and pretend to be a normal human being. He hated inconveniencing the Jins with him, accepting their bedding and paid kitchen appliances and so on. But if he wanted to accomplish his mission he had to make an effort to look normal... instead of spirited away from another world or maybe simply another era.

“I won’t do it again, don’t worry Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan was disappointed, but he was also patient to a fault.

Sure, it would have been much appreciated if Mo XuanYu didn’t lose him around every other day. This time the younger man had forgotten to pick him up from the floor where he had been reading stories to the children at the kindergarten.

But Lan Zhan was also a stuffed animal now, so it wasn’t like he could move around and risk being seeing by normal humans. His body was a vessel and any damage would have had repercussions on his soul as well.

What to do.

He tried not to panic when he felt someone picking him up from the floor after an hour or so. He silently prayed for them not to be A-Qing: even in this life she was too smart for her own good and he couldn’t risk being found out so soon. Mo XuanYu wasn’t even halfway to complete his mission and Lan Zhan couldn’t...

“I’m sure A-Yu is looking for you, little guy. What are doing all the way back here?”

It was always difficult to hear his older brother’s voice in this life. To see his face, to notice how sad he was even in this new reincarnation of his.

Lan Zhan didn’t move a single muscle as XiChen dusted him off and put him in his apron front pocket as he looked for “A-Yu”.

In order to give a second chance to Mo XuanYu, Lan Zhan had sacrificed any possibility to ever reincarnate until his mission was accomplished. So XiChen didn’t have a younger brother in this lifetime and he would have not had one for a while. Lan Zhan missed him, but they had to wait for a bit more.

They still had three months to fill the bottle the King of Hell had entrusted Mo XuanYu with. Then he would have entered the list for reincarnation once more and everything will have been fine in the end.

Lan Zhan owed the kid his life, so he trusted him.

No matter what.

XuanYu remembered the boy who had stolen his umbrella. He remembered him well enough to recognize him when he found him crawling on the floor, a stab wound in his belly, one winter night.

Panicked, he asked Lan Zhan what they could do as he instinctively pressed the wound with his bare hands. Lan Zhan didn’t dare move not to attract attention on himself. The other man snarled out at XuanYu, asking him why did he even bother, seemingly recognizing him.

“I took your fucking umbrella. Hate me and leave me alone.”

“Ridiculous.”

Lan Zhan would have been proud of him for that remark, but XuanYu was too scared to think about it. He didn’t have a phone and he didn’t even know the number for emergencies. He wasn’t even qualified to be a teacher. How had he survived until then. He was useless and stupid and...

“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng’s voice came in a whisper behind him.

What a sorry view the older man had to take in that night: a pool of blood staining otherwise clean clothes, a moaning boy on the ground in restless pain, a crying mess of a sad excuse of a human pressing on a throbbing wound next to him.

Jiang Cheng muttered something about the boy being one of Meng Yao’s men, that they should leave him there to die for all he cared.

The man under XuanYu barked back, telling him he had tried to “convince the idiot of the same”. But XuanYu was horrified by what he had just heard.

“People die for nothing. People die for fucking nothing. You don’t leave someone behind just because you fucking hate them.”

XuanYu has never cursed in this brief, borrowed life of his. Maybe spending so much time with Jiang Cheng had rubbed some of his habits off on him in the end.

Startled, Jiang Cheng seemed to agree with him because he fished out his phone and called an ambulance right away.

The stabbed man laughed at that.

Lan Zhan was clutched in XuanYu’s hands as they waited in the corridor of a badly lit hospital. The kid was crying, hard. He must have remembered how his family in Mo Manor had mistreated him in the past, how easily his own relatives had starved him off just out of spite. How already impossibly emaciated he had been when he had sacrificed his body for Wei Ying, to bring him back in a weakened vessel just to seek revenge. Just to let his hatred run free.

Such cruelty had earned him nothing but distrust from the hell judges, who sentenced him to never be reincarnated again. Only when Lan Zhan had ascended to heaven -many centuries after reaching immortality- he had been able to make them relent.

If Mo XuanYu could prove to be a good human being during a trial time of one year on planet earth, filling a vial with good actions in the form of golden gems, then they would have considered Lan Zhan’s proposal. Mo XuanYu would have atoned his sin and be granted a new life, a clean record, and a second chance at happiness.

Seeing someone almost die in front of him must have awaken something ugly in him. His stained hands, the iron stench in the air. All that blood... like the last thing he had most probably seen in his previous life before his body sacrifice. A scarlet array under his feet, another soul replacing his in his own body.

Lan Zhan let himself be held tightly in Mo XuanYu’s hands that night at the hospital.

And hugged back without anyone else noticing.

Xiao XingChen. That was the name of the man showing up at the kindergarten one week later. XuanYu had never seen him before, but the man hugged him in front of the kids, alerting both XiChen and Jiang Cheng.

“Thank you,” the tall man said in between tears, holding him tight.

“I don’t understand. I...”

“You saved A-Yang. Thank you.”

XuanYu pressed his lips together tightly at that, so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to say. His fingertips hurting with sometimes akin to electricity the more he let himself be held so fiercely by the other man.

He started crying in earnest only after the man had left, surrounded by the children who worried and fussed over him. He fell asleep with them during nap time and when he woke up he found Jiang Cheng placing a quilt over him.

Caught red handed, the older man feigned disinterest in the beginning... but then he sat down next to him. Just like he had done in the hospital one week ago.

“Did you see someone die before?” Jiang Cheng asked then, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, “You had such a strong... reaction to my words. It was insensitive of me. I apologize for angering you. I’ll better myself.”

XuanYu didn’t answer at that.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to sacrifice yourself to hatred and revenge. How much it had scarred him to be brought back to life, but only as a worn out set of robes on top of someone else’s soul. How distant he had felt when the Yiling Patriarch had inhabited his body and had let himself be touched by someone else.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to be touched in the flesh but be utterly unreachable as a soul. Or how much it hurt to become an empty body filled by someone foreign and new. Someone who could wear his skin better than him.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood. And thank all the gods for that.

So XuanYu... Mo XuanYu kept quiet and smiled instead.

Lan Zhan didn’t trust Jiang Cheng. He hadn’t in the past and he wasn’t gonna start now. Wei Ying would have been so disappointed in him for thinking badly of his baby brother, but there was little Lan Zhan could do about that.

Wei Ying wasn’t there to judge him for it.

Mo XuanYu would wake up every morning and wash himself, get dressed and tidy up the room before leaving. He would fix his appearance in a mirror Young Lady Jiang had gifted him in autumn, making sure his hat was still in place.

“What would happen if I were to...?”

“You must keep your hat on... even when you sleep. You know this much.”

“I wear a headband to bed.”

“And what of it?”

“It’s... silly.”

“Nobody can see you in your sleep. Why the sudden worry?”

Mo XuanYu said nothing in response to that, but Lan Zhan knew. The kid had never worried too much about his appearance aside from looking proper and well dressed. He had never fussed over his features, but recently he had taken the habit to walk dangerously close to makeup stores and check various displays at the convenience store close by. Lan Zhan knew Mo XuanYu had remembered his past... how he had quickly realized he was already an adult. With needs and desires.

But now a brand new reincarnation of Jiang WanYin would wait for him every morning to walk to work together. Now Jiang Cheng acted pleasantly enough to be considered kind and doting to someone starved of affection like Mo XuanYu had always been. Which wasn’t planned, it had never been.

Lan Zhan didn’t like where this was going.

He didn’t like it at all.

Nie HuaiSang came to bring a cake for XuanYu one day or so before the end of the year, snow sticking to his hair and flushed cheeks.

“I don’t know when your birthday is... so I’m pretty sure I’m late to the game. But I wanted to thank you for helping me and MianMian that one time. So I made a cake for you. I hope you like strawberries.”

Mo XuanYu had no idea if he liked them or not. He couldn’t even eat.

He started crying in the middle of his room, where HuaiSang had placed the boxed cake on top of his low table.

Panicked, HuaiSang jumped up and out of the room to alert Jiang Cheng next door. But upon seeing the other man’s worried expression XuanYu cried even harder.

“What did you do to him, you bastard?”

“I’m not the one who used to prank people all the time. Grow up!”

“You clearly did something horrible to him for...”

“A-Cheng we’re not twelve anymore. Who do you take me for?”

XuanYu took his chance to stuff his face with cake, gulping it down bit by bit even if he knew he didn’t have the necessary organs to process it without vomiting it all out in an hour or so. He had tried many times to hold food down to no avail. His body rejecting it as if it was poisonous and dangerous.

He had tried so many times... to practice. To be able to appreciate YanLi’s generous cooking, to help A-Ling and the children at school prep their lunches and maybe... maybe to eat with Jiang Cheng every now and then.

Nie HuaiSang hugged him and patted his head, confused but too scared to ask for an explanation. Mo XuanYu smiled at him and lied, saying his cake was the best he had ever eaten. It wasn’t the best. It was simply the first.

He had no way to compare it with anything else, really.

Wen Ning had heard about his “stomachache” from XiChen, who had known all about it from YanLi and Jiang Cheng. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise for XuanYu when he saw the older boy in front of his apartment complex the last day of the year.

But it was a surprise.

“Can we talk for a bit?” Wen Ning asked, holding his umbrella up for XuanYu to walk beside him, protecting him from the icy snow.

They walked to the nearest park, sitting under the gazebo to watch the snow falling down. Their heavy coats keeping them warm, despite the cold.

They used to take long walks back from the kindergarten with A-Yuan after school, since the Wens lived close to XuanYu. Before Jiang Cheng came back anyway.

Wen Ning looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to find the right words. He surprised XuanYu by telling him how, in the past, he had suffered from an eating disorder and had been hospitalized for a while in his teens. How worried his sister and their grandma had been for him, how much they helped him in his recovery. How alone he had felt for years still, no matter how loved he was.

“A-Yuan told me he never saw you eat. So I was wondering if you needed help.”

It wasn’t the case, but XuanYu knew he meant well. Telling him everything was fine would have only worried him more, so he tried to explain an half-truth that could satisfy him. Saying it was difficult for him to process food, that in the past he had suffered from malnutrition and now he had digestive issues.

He was talking about his past life, but he figured that could work as well.

When they parted ways in front of the apartment complex, Wen Ning asked to hold XuanYu’s hands for a bit. He cradled them carefully, as if they were precious. His slender fingers cupping XuanYu’s smaller palms almost reverently.

“I know you don’t feel the same about me. But I’ll ask you to look after yourself anyway. Not out of obligation for me... but out of respect for yourself, if nothing else.”

The moment Wen Ning let go of his hands, Jiang Cheng stepped out of the front door of the building and saw them.

He said nothing and walked away after stepping out of the gate.

Lan Zhan would have very much liked to flip a finger at Jiang WanYin’s forehead. Hard. Wei Ying would have done the same, he was sure.

Wei Ying would have also smacked some sense in his baby brother, forcing him to face his feelings and take responsibility for what he was doing to poor Mo XuanYu.

Who was currently waiting for the other man’s return like a dog by his room balcony, surveying the front courtyard like a bird of prey from above.

Lan Zhan tried to coax the kid inside, reminding him snow was still falling down and that his beanie was slipping away. He tried to be gentle about it, knowing how much XuanYu had grown resentful of the hats he had to constantly wear.

But the younger man simply shrugged, saying he wanted to wait for another five minutes. Just one more. Just to make sure.

Jiang Cheng didn’t come back that night.

And Mo XuanYu cried in his sleep clutching the half-empty vial to his chest.

Lan Zhan spent the night watching over him, singing to him the song he had written for Wei Ying. He snuggled close to XuanYu and made sure his wide headband was covering the crown of his head, before pressing himself to the other’s forehead.

He never stopped singing.

Wishing he could take all the pain away.

YanLi, A-Yuan and even ZiXuan knocked on his door to greet him into the new year, despite how XuanYu should have been the one to pay his respects to his landlords.

But they asked him to visit the funeral home with them instead, to say their thanks to YanLi’s parents with offers and flowers.

He dressed in his best clothes, having never been in what seemed to be a modern version of the ancestral halls of his childhood in a past life. The establishment was fairly sterile, with shelves filled with plaques and pictures instead of wooden inscriptions on an altar. The lot of them bowed and said their thanks, chatting with the late Jiangs almost as if they had never left. YanLi apologized to her mother for Jiang Cheng’s absence that year like any other year, while ZiXuan told his father-in-law how they would have visited the Jin ancestors during Chūnjié to make it fair.

XuanYu looked at them and barely kept himself from crying.

On their way back, YanLi explained her parents had died when she was still twelve and Jiang Cheng was merely six. How they had lived in the orphanage run by XiChen’s mother and made friends with the boy, who was YanLi’s classmate. How the siblings stayed there until YanLi came of age and got custody of her baby brother. ZiXuan’s family of lawyers had helped her pro bono and that was how she had met the man and fallen in love with him. Even if it had taken a while for ZiXuan to notice her at first, preoccupied with university and law school as he had been at the time. But the Jins helped her with the inheritance left by the late Madame Yu: the apartment complex where they currently lived.

Watching them explaining their past in such detail moved XuanYu deeply. Feeling as if they wanted to make him part of their family by filling in the gaps for him.

That was still his older brother after all and those were still his sister-in-law and his beloved nephew and he... he loved them. He had missed them so, so much.

And he was about to leave them again soon.

Wen Qing finally showed herself up one day at the park, when Mo XuanYu was taking Fairy out for an evening walk. She approached him by telling the younger man she had assisted in the surgery Xue Yang had undergone some time back.

Lan Zhan (hiding in the kid’s coat pocket) could see how startled the kid was at the mention of the criminal, but he decided to trust this version of Lady Wen as he would have done in the past.

Wei Ying cared deeply for her, after all.

Whatever truths she was about to entrust Mo XuanYu with, Lan Zhan knew the kid could take it.

He hoped as much, at least.

Jiang Cheng came back only for Chinese New Year. Saying he had stayed at XiChen’s since the winter break allowed them to take it easy and figure some stuff out for the following school year.

It hurt to know where he had been all along, but XuanYu braved a smile anyway. He knew how much Jiang Cheng cared for the older man, how much he wanted to save the school from the debt collector. How much he didn’t love XuanYu back.

So he let himself cry one last time before waking up one morning and deciding he had had enough.

He talked with Lan Zhan, asking him to tell him all about Wei WuXian and their love. If XuanYu’s sacrifice had allowed them to be happy as they deserved in the end. If Lan Zhan hated him now, for forcing him away from his loved one, who was currently waiting for him to come back to heaven.

Mo XuanYu knew the couple had sacrificed their chance at reincarnation to allow him to seek a second lifetime for himself. He knew Wei Ying watched over them from up above, waiting for Lan Zhan to secure a new life for the kid.

They talked all day and then well into the night.

By dawn Mo XuanYu had decided what to do.

XuanYu properly met Meng Yao one day of early spring, when flowers weren’t yet brave enough to poke their way out and greet the sun. The man was dressed in black, his hair cut short, a sigarette between his lips as he waited patiently for the kindergarten to open.

It was XuanYu’s duty to open that morning, so he was the one to greet the man.

Upon hearing his voice, Meng Yao immediately recognized him.

“There you are. I was waiting for you.”

“Me?”

“You’re the kid who answered the phone. And the one who helped my subordinate back in winter, right?”

His dimples were so deep, his face so pleasant.

Mo XuanYu remembered him from another lifetime. He remembered how much he had cared for his older brother Jin GuangYao. How hurt he had felt when the other had lied and accused him of harassment just to get rid of him.

But this was a new life and Meng Yao was just a man.

Who happened to have been married with XiChen for a while before turning to a life filled with crime and gang violence.

Wen Qing had told him Meng Yao had initially tried to live far away from his adoptive father Wen RuoHan. All for the sake of marrying XiChen and keep him safe. But XiChen’s mother still had had a debt to pay for the construction of the orphanage, a price too high for her to pay with her poor health and delicate disposition. A debt that XiChen had inherited from her when she had died.

That was why Meng Yao had left him: to go back to his father and ask him to handle the debt himself, supplicating him to overlook such small issue and let him dry XiChen out of every penny and cent instead.

Wen Qing may have learned this only from the gossiping running in her family, with the Wen Clan being as big as it was, but she was pretty sure of what she had told XuanYu. That Meng Yao had simply faked having fallen out of love with XiChen to protect him from his adoptive father and his cruelty. That XiChen still loved him and was waiting for him to fight alongside him instead.

Mo XuanYu knew all of this.

So now he could act and fulfill his mission.

“I want to pay the debt XiChen owes you.”

“You are full of surprises, XuanYu. And how do you plan to do that?”

“I can do many things.”

“You’re very pretty, you can make good money out of it.”

XuanYu considered his words before shaking his head.

“It’s not something I can do.”

“Then what can you do?”

“I’ll solve everything.”

“I’m all ears.”

“But you’ll have to stop making XiChen worry so much.”

“That’s not how business work...”

“Lie to me. Give your word and I’ll... I will solve everything.”

Meng Yao humored him and nodded.

Then and only then, Mo XuanYu took his hat off.

Lan Zhan had watched the entire scene unfold before his eyes without intervening, trusting Mo XuanYu with such an important choice. He took in the sight of the beautiful spiritual light shining brightly on top of XuanYu’s head like a crown.

His soul in full display, its energy so raw it had slowed down time all around them.

Lan Zhan turned around and looked at XiChen, who had just turned a corner and had been walking towards XuanYu to greet him good morning. Frozen in time, his older brother’s face still looked peaceful... simply because he had had no time to notice Meng Yao’s presence quite yet.

Lan Zhan turned once more and saw Jiang WanYin making his way in a rush towards them, surely to protect XuanYu from Meng Yao. When did he arrive? His features trapped in a perpetual frown, scared for the one he truly loved in this lifetime.

Then, Lan Zhan looked up at Mo XuanYu and saw him taking the bottle only half filled with gold... which symbolized his goodwill and generous spirit.

“Will this be enough to grant a wish, Lan Zhan?”

When XuanYu said his name like that he sounded so much like his Wei Ying, full of hope and love.

“It depends on the wish, A-Yu.”

“I reckon it’s not enough for a new reincarnation, eh?”

“It’s enough to save a life... but not yours.”

XuanYu looked crestfallen, but he persevered still.

The bottle transformed into a bag filled with money and XuanYu made his way to XiChen and left it at his feet before smiling up at his mentor and employer.

“I cannot rewrite the past, but maybe I can plan a better future for you.”

Still smiling, XuanYu slowly walked over to Jiang Cheng and said his farewells.

Then he crouched down and took Lan Zhan in his hands, kissing him goodbye on the head affectionately.

“Erase me well, Lan Zhan,” he whispered then.

Before disappearing into thin air.

***

Wei Ying had agreed with him, suggesting the idea himself.

In the end the King of Hell had granted Lan Zhan’s request and offered Mo XuanYu a second chance anyway. Since this new self-sacrifice had been fueled by positive emotions instead of anger and despair, the hell judges had considered the atonement fulfilled and put the kid’s name back on the reincarnation list.

Twenty years had past and many things had changed.

For starters, the kid’s last name wasn’t Mo anymore, but Nie. The boy had, in fact, born into Nie MingJue’s family and had lived overseas in Japan for a while before moving back to Lanling when XuanYu turned twenty. Nie HuaiSang had met him many times during summer vacations and other festivities, visiting his brother and his wife every chance he had gotten to dote on his cute nephew XuanYu.

Nie MingJue had done a remarkable job in protecting him from harm. So, by the time their little family had decided to move close to HuaiSang, XuanYu had become a well adjusted adult with a brilliant future ahead of him.

Nobody remembered him.

Or so Lan Zhan had thought.

Apparently, he had forgotten to wipe Jin Ling’s memories thoroughly. So, when The Nie family had come to greet HuaiSang’s friends YanLi and ZiXuan, A-Ling almost had a stroke out of incredulity and happiness for being reunited with his “A-Yu”. Even if Jin Ling was now older than the pretty-gege from his memories. Even if he had spent years trying to figure out why nobody seemed to remember the weird uncle living next door to his Jiujiu years back.

XiChen and Meng Yao had solved their problems and had started running the school together right after Wen RuoHan sudden and mysterious disappearance. The man had many enemies after all.

A-Yuan had grown up into a fine young man, someone Wei Ying would have certainly been proud of, working with his cousin Wen Ning at the local botanical garden while his friends still studied in university.

Nie HuaiSang had married Qin Su and opened a restaurant with her.

MianMian and Wen Qing had decided to live together and adopt a bunch of dogs just because.

Xiao XingChen and Xue Yang still lived together while Song Lan had found his way back to them after talking it out with the couple.

A-Qing was probably running some sketchy business in social services to protect kids from horrible families.

Lan Zhan was still, unfortunately, a stuffed rabbit. Following XuanYu in his new life in the most unexpected of ways. In the form of the first present the boy’s uncle had gifted him in childhood. If Wei Ying had pulled a string or two from heaven to make that happen, well, Lan Zhan himself was none the wiser. The only thing he knew was that XuanYu had always taken him with him in all his travels even if he didn’t know he could speak. Lan Zhan had preferred not to reveal his nature and let the kid have a normal childhood. Especially since he had no memories of his past as a tenant in Jiang YanLi’s house. Nor of his life as a cultivator.

Wei Ying had agreed they could wait to be reunited again. The both of them wanting to look over XuanYu for a little longer before getting their own chance at reincarnation. They had all eternity to be together again... they could definitely wait a bit more for the kid.

All was well.

Aside from the other person whose mind Lan Zhan had conveniently forgot to wipe clean of any memory of XuanYu.

In his defense, Lan Zhan had tried to make Jiang Cheng forget. But something about XuanYu must have touched him so deeply... that Lan Zhan had not been able to do much about it. The kid’s smiles and clumsy antics would always linger in the back of the other’s mind no matter how much he tried to ignore them.

Coming back from his job at ZiXuan’s firm, exhausted and vulnerable, Jiang Cheng decided to visit his sister the same day Nie MingJue had brought his family there. So he was particularly weak to the sight of a bright, soft XuanYu when YanLi introduced her younger brother to their guests.

To Lan Zhan’s absolute delight, Jiang Cheng immediately bowed down to a scary looking Nie MingJue and asked his son’s hand in marriage.

Yes, grovel to this precious boy and learn your place.

XuanYu only tilted his head at that weird man bowing to his parents and smiled.

His laughter ringing up to the sky, where Wei Ying was still listening.

From where he would have kept watching.

[I worked so hard on this please reblog]

[kobato means “little dove” I thought it was cute since XuanYu is a magpie! + I wanted MXY a chance at life and for once this is a reversal-sacrifice from WWX’s part and I think it’s neat.]

[JC would be 43 or so... which yikes. but this is all I could do. I don’t like huge age gaps but at least everyone is a consenting adult, okay?]

[the thing that started this was like “what if LXC was an only child and LWJ did not reincarnate bc he’s still in the afterlife or something? then the entire thing escalated so...yeah.]

now I will cry for ages. I worked so hard on this good god D:

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs/au: clamp #mdzs/au: kindergarten #mdzs/au: kobato #mdzs/au: modern #mo xuanyu #jiang cheng #the forbidden crack! untamed prompts #RAREPAIR ALERT #I AM TRASH I WILL SHIP JC WITH A ROCK FOR ALL I CARE #xiyao #tw eating disorders mentioned #wangxian #yucheng #chengyu

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real-jaune-isms · 5 years

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Volume 7 Chapter 3 Review

My first time with this, it’s probably gonna be longwinded and awkward...

Starting off with 3 scenes basically happening at once is interesting. The airship flying them in to start the mission, Ruby and Jaune getting briefed on it, and the whole crew getting their gear upgrades. The briefing conversation plays over shots of them all getting their personal briefcases of stuff, and of some normal soldiers fighting smaller Grimm in the tundra. The new clothes scene is most important though. We see: Their happy faces, Blake and Jaune both pondering haircuts while Jaune runs his hands over the sash he kept from Pyrrha (ow my heart), Yang attaching her arm upgrade, and Ruby getting at a new cape before Oscar approaches her. Oh, and on the briefing screens RWBY and JNR are registered as civilian Huntsmen. They have their licenses!!!!

Let’s talk about the cape for a sec. Her red cloak has been an heirloom she’s kept for 6 volumes now and about 17 years. The last vestige of her mother. So is it really such a good idea for her to get a new one and just go with it? Is that abandoning the sentimental value and very essence of the original cape? It’s been worn and weathered since Volume 4, so an replacement or a stitch job would be good, but the latter would be ideal. I don’t really mind the new one so much because she asked for it and clearly she had a reason for that. It’s the exact same in every visual way as far as I could see, and she’s keeping the old one. The message is still alive in her wearing it, and times must change. It’s better to get a new one than risk damaging the original any more.

Anyway, after we see the few shots of them prepping for this mission, a very old Geist possessing a bunch of ice and hiding in a Dust mine, the airship doors open and we see the team in all their new glory. They jump out accompanied by the Ace Ops, and all make stylish landings. Ruby only uses her pogo gunshots to slow her descent, and Blake swings her weld fixed Gambol Shroud to Spider-Man swing around the buildings to land. But Weiss and Yang use their semblances to do it, and the aura percentages on Blake’s scroll later represent that accordingly. Good attention to detail. And we hear from Weiss that using your Aura can keep you from freezing, a good reason why they can all wear such stylish clothes and not die of frostbite.

After Clover checks in with all the groups about keeping in contact and keeping an eye on Aura levels, Blake catches Yang staring and they have an adorably awkward exchange about Blake’s haircut and how Yang likes it but doesn’t know how to express that. Marrow seems annoyed he has to watch a high school love story unfolding in front of him, but Harriet teases him about being childish and that shuts him up. They head toward the mine entrance, but Team RWBY hangs back to discuss how uncomfortable they all are with having lied to Ironwood last episode about Salem and the lamp. But Ruby reasons that they don’t know if Ironwood is in the right mindset for that bombshell right now and they WILL tell him soon. Fair enough. A flashback to Oscar’s interruption earlier reveals he’s pretty torn about it too since it’s exactly what they hated Ozpin for doing to them. Either way, they enter the mine and a comment about the path being blocked leads to a chilling realization. This is the mine that caved in and killed Ilia’s parents. This is why her life went so terribly, and it’s a major reminder of the awful relationship between humans and Faunus and how bad things can get. That prompts Weiss to try and apologize for her own bad attitude about it all in Volume 1, and some harsh truths from Marrow about complacency with injustice for the sake of living free of making those hard moral choices. Wise words, a lot to think about with this world and even our own.

But there’s no time for thinking about changing the world’s prejudices, they need to send Blake through a dark opening in the rubble to see if it’s safe for them to blast a hole big enough for everyone or if there’s any nearby Dust they might agitate. I get the whole faunus seeing better in the darker area of the cave thing but... couldn’t Marrow have done it too? Or was he too big and thicc and they had to send the lithe teenager? I tease, I tease. Height and muscle mass may be the legit reasons, plus her weapon is also less bulky. Before she goes in, both Blake and Yang see the SDC logo printed on some discarded boxes, likely a reminded of the last place they saw it: branded on Adam’s face. Not a good memory to recall in a tight situation, but it shows they’re still dealing with that. Good news is, when Blake goes through there’s no Dust on the other side. Bad news, the Geist gives a legitimate jumpscare that literally makes Blake jump back in surprise and pull her weapon to shoot at it. That of course clues the others in that she found something, and we see Harriet’s weapon as she deploys mechanized armor to go over her arms and boost her punching strength. Reminds me of the controls for a mech, fake arms you wear and move in the cockpit to move the real giant ones. But these have plenty of power all on their own and bust open the wall of debris. Makes sense to boost her upper body strength to counterbalance the power in her legs.

They chase the Geist into the mine until they encounter the new Centinel Grimm burrowing up from the ground. Team RWBY gets to show off their weapon upgrades/new moves as they dispose of them: Blake does a lot of slashing and stabbing as usual and Weiss does mostly the same plus shooting ice at the bugs and using glyphs to stop them from lunging. But the real stars seem to be Yang and Ruby. Yang added sticky bombs to her gauntlets’ arsenal, and Ruby can now spin Crescent Rose’s blade 180 degrees to slice a severed centinel half on her backswing. Cool. But Marrow shows off his own party tricks with his rifle that becomes a large blade edged boomerang and the ability to stop two Grimm still with nothing but a snap and the word “stay”. Clearly a reference to dog obedience training and possibly showing the power words can have, a reference to The Boy Who Cried Wolf, which I still believe he’s based on. All that kid had to do was say the word and the entire town came running to face a supposed threat. However, I’ve also heard that his inspiration is actually “A Dog and it’d Shadow”, which might suggest he’s going to go down a bad path for the sake of his own benefit... Regardless, Harriet zooms up and tosses the centinel against a wall, which seems to stop it. They report sighting the target and engaging with further hostiles to the others, who take that as a cue to speed things up. When next we see them, Harriet runs past Weiss and Ruby to take down the last Centinel with a single punch before Ruby had time to even take a shot at it. Instead of being petty about a kill steal, our little rose goes gaga over Harriet having a speed semblance like her, while the Hare of course boasts she seems to be faster based on Ruby’s reaction time. They suddenly hear Clover announce he’s fighting the Geist with Qrow, and when it eludes them too everyone converges in a central cavern.

Now let’s talk about JNR’s section of the mission until they meet up with the others. They make their jump too, Jaune having added Hard Light Dust to his shield and using it like Link’s paraglider in Breath of the Wild to float down gently, and then gravity Dust from the central crest to negate the final impact and bounce into a flip landing. Stylish~ We don’t see how, but Ren and Nora landed fine too. And their accompanying Ace Operatives Vine and Elm give rather indirect compliments, much to Jaune and Nora’s annoyance. As they walk through an ice tunnel and Vine reports its stability and their approximate time of convergence, Nora gushes about how exciting it all is before turning her enthusiasm on Ren. He handles a direct compliment about his new outfit about as well as Ren handles any show of emotion... he does not. He just tries to redirect the topic to the mission. Annoying to all the Renora shippers, absolutely, but also kinda his MO. His semblance, his very nature since the tragedy of Kuroyuri is to not get emotional because that can get them in trouble if it’s at the wrong time. He still needs to learn there are plenty of right times to have emotions, LIKE WHEN YOUR UNOFFICIAL GIRLFRIEND WANTS YOU TO RETURN THE COMPLIMENT!!! He better learn from that mistake... But at least there’s dense as a rock Jaune to compliment Nora instead and miss the point of what she was doing. The good boy is trying his best to be nice.

When they hear RWBY’s squad announce the fighting has started they start booking it and slide down an icy slope that’s revealed to have Centinels emerging at the bottom. Vine uses his semblance to stretch out and grab hold of the walls and Elm uses her’s to root her feet in the ground, both so they can stop moving toward the enemy. But that’s not JNR’s style, so they charge right into the Grimm and take them out quickly. A gravity burst shield bash from Jaune, new grappling hook mode for the blades on Ren’s guns, and Nora just bashes some skulls. This approaches earns another indirect compliment before they took finish the journey to the main mine cavern.

Meanwhile Qrow is with Clover and looking very cool in his new digs. They head in and discuss Qrow’s history of teamwork and how he doesn’t really do that anymore... cue sad STRQ vibes. Also he almost trips and Clover catches him, a perk of having someone at your side. After he gets the rundown from Elm, we don’t hear from thes two until they’re chasing down the Geist. It reaches its icy armored body, and gathers extra pieces from the walls around them. Qrow notices one bit it’s trying to get will pull down a support beam and warns Clover to stay back... just in time. The Geist gets away, but in its wake the two men share a conversation about Semblances. Qrow reveals his misfortune and how it burdens him to solitude or else situations like that one could go way worse. But Clover surprises him with the fact that his own Semblance is, of course... generating good luck.

The look Qrow gives him... a lot of people say it’s gay panic as he falls head over heels for this charming military man who can balance him out. I’ve come to see it a bit differently thanks to another post I saw. It’s regular panic. Panic and self-loathing, because he sees his perfect mirror image. Clover is sober, charismatic, a good leader, doesn’t ruin things with his very presence, and has skill and wisdom beyond anything Qrow has been able to demonstrate. This is everything he wishes he could have been for the kids from Volumes 4-6, the kind of huntsman he wants to have been at Beacon... a version of him who might have been able to keep Team STRQ together. But it might also be him getting a crush on a charming guy who balances him out. Regardless, they call everyone to meet up in the middle.

And meet up they do, the various types of Dust in the large central chamber having such effects as floating the dirt their boots kick up and evaporating a drop of Jaune’s sweat when it hits the ground. Cool set piece, though they need to be careful with how they fight otherwise they could set off the Dust and ruin the Amity Satellite launch site... and kill them. The Geist is hanging from a giant piece of ice jutting from the ceiling, and when the teams spot it the big boy dramatically drops down to fight them. Ruby panics upon seeing it added Dust to it’s body so they’ll have a harder time fighting it safely, but the Ace-Ops kick into action almost immediately. Elm and Vine use their Semblances to keep it in place and expose the Grimm joints between its ice limbs, which Marrow throws his weapon to sever. But that leaves some Dust crystals falling through the air, so the Flash gets the lightning in his eyes and speeds in to catch them before they hit the ground... Oops! I mean Quicksilver does his Days of Future Past thing to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust... DAMMIT! I mean Harriet gets the lightning in her eyes and pulls a Days of Future Past to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust. But the boomerang cuts another part of the arm and knocks more Dust off out of her reach. Lucky for them, Clover is there to catch it just in time. He passes the crystal to Qrow and jumps into the action.

The Ace-Ops continue to run around the Geist and to distract and disorient it, and they get the other arm off. With a flick of his lucky charm, Clover jumps up and loops his fishing line around the Geist’s mask face, and it actually hooks. What comes next brings a look of astonishment to Team RWBY’s faces. He pulls the Geist out of the ice by its face, and Harriet runs up its torso to give a jumping Shoryuken with her mech fists to kill the Grimm. But that leaves a lot of Dust crystals falling through the air, and the Ace Ops scramble to grab all of them. One remains and Harriet runs to get it... it’s a close call... and Ruby beats her to it. Who’s faster now?~ But much to Ruby’s surprise, upon seeing her in action Harriet claims Ruby’s Semblance is unlike any speed Semblance she’s ever seen, that there’s probably more to it than she realizes... or we do for that matter~ I can’t wait to see what they do with that. Yang points out that Ruby has an awful lot more going on in terms of power than Harriet realizes, earning a grin from Weiss and a very cute giggle from Blake. Regardless, mission accomplished and Qrow and Clover have a little banter over if Ruby’s catch was luck or talent. Glad to see the Atlas MVP’s acknowledge our Team has some skill of their own. Even happier to see Elm effortlessly put Ruby on her shoulder and carry her around to celebrate while Yang and Nora start dancing.

Next thing we know we’re back in Mantle as the police ship drops Forest off. He goes into an alley, where Tyrian suddenly appears under a flickering light to creep us all out and kill a short lived fan favorite character. RIP, good good protest boy.

And that’s pretty much it. Sorry it took a while.

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 4 years

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Uchitama 7 - 8 | Eizouken 8 - 9 | ID: INVADED 8 - 11 | Iruma-kun 22 - 23 (FINAL) | BnHA 82 - 83

Uchitama 7

Lemme guess…this is the ve-Yep.

The name of this segment is Ottamake. The ke means fur/hair, but it does seem like it’s referring to Tama otherwise.

For some reason, Bull’s really into cats…

LOL, you can see the cat food right there is a real brand. I dunno how they got away with that.

Hmm, this show has something to say about idol business…and it does it better than some of the human idol shows! That says something.

It even comments on the “graduation” system. Whaddaya know.

Welp, I never thought an anime could pull off this with a commentary on gender presentation, to boot. (It’s not as pervasive as Stars Align’s, but it’s still one of the better ones. I guess I shouldn’t expect it as a norm though.) I thought Kai was a dude though and so Bull’s interactions came off to me as massively gay. I’ve been thinking, maybe he’s pan? Can dogs be pansexual???

Why do I get the feeling Kai is going to be introduced into 3-chome? Update: Doesn’t happen.

This song sounds very idol-like.

Uchitama 8

Aww…I feel like we’re going to learn Nora’s backstory soon. I think it’s going to be real sad.

…Yup, there goes my kokoro. Smol Nora is cute~!

Genki can mean “healthy” as well as “energetic” – the latter is why it’s translated as “spunky”.

Why do I get the feeling Nora’s owner died…?

Oh, smol Nora has a bandaid on his leg.

Let me ask the essential furry question – they hav human ears and animal ears. Which of those sets of ears do they hear with?

Yuuki Kaji does a good job as Nora.

This song’s so sad, it almost got me crying…

Eizouken 8

This anime is like something from Studio Trigger!

The magic of Eizouken is that you get sucked into the anime they make and never look back.

Tomodachi vs. nakama, I think it is.

Id: Invaded 8

Lately, I’ve been thinking about practical cosplay (everyday wear that also doubles as a cosplay outfit). So basically, I’ve been thinking about Sakaido and El-Melloi II’s outfits a lot, since they’re rather practical while still looking cool. All I’m missing for El-Melloi’s outfit with the red jacket is a black button-up shirt, for El-Melloi’s outfit with the black jacket I’m missing a red scarf and I’m missing a brown button-up shirt for Sakaido’s (although the yellow scarf I got today to get one step closer to two of those isn’t the right mustard colour, it’s more of a lighter yellow).

Also, I noticed it’s (according to the katakana) meant to be “Id: Invaded”, but heck, it’s been ID: Invaded for so long for me, I don’t care either way.

Kiki was born in Fukui.

I always thought Mister Fixer sounded sad and now I think I know why…the bit I remember the most (the line that goes “Mister Fixer” and the bit around it) sounds like the singer is lamenting their life. Now that I see the visuals again after a few weeks (I’d get fatigued if I watched all that Fate/ and still managed to keep up with simulcasts, so I’ve been taking the simulcasts in a few eps at one time), Mister Fixer does quite sound like a crime drama song, but not as much as Thought I Knew (from Stand My Heroes).

I’ve seen images of Anaido and Sakaido in the same well for a few weeks now, so this cooperation bit is no surprise at all.

I believe Fukuda is asking why Narihisago is a –san to her even though they’ve worked together a while.

The words “data profile” are in one corner of the titlecard.

Does Anaido remember who he is in the ID Well? I presume not, but it’s hard to tell since we haven’t had as much time with him as we have Sakaido (not to mention I’ve been regularly filling my head with Fate/ and other things as well lately…so it’s hard to remember).

It’s interesting. Fukuda has the same piercings as Anaido (and even a ring on one pointer finger that matches them!), so he must’ve tried experimenting with…more legal holes, to put it one way…before getting his most iconic one.

Kaeru’s nails are chipped. Hmm.

In #Brake-Broken, which I read the first chapter of earlier (there’s a sample on the Young Ace website), Sakaido notices he doesn’t have a phone with him to call anyone or a licence (because in that manga, he wakes up in a car). It’s likely this will work the same way and Anaido won’t have any possessions on him, aside from the clothes on his back, accessories and the item that was stolen from his wrist/s.

Rings on both fingers…so I should be talking about them in plural. Update: I like how Anaido’s off-the-wall thought processes break up the inherent seriousness of Sakaido’s deductions and utilitarian way of doing things.

Anaido, you grimdark f***er. Update: For trying to eat a dead girl.

Okay, so for the sake of my practical cosplay, I knew I’d need this episode. Sakaido wears a long-sleeve brown shirt with some kind of shirt under that (either brown or black), plus a mustard-coloured scarf. (Note El-Melloi II wears a black shirt under his black button-up shirt, so I went with black as well.) In Brake Broken, I also noticed he wears dark socks (or that could be the leggings) and runners with a lightning bolt on them (I had to make do with generic black runners with a white stripe on the bottom), plus the iconic brown shorts over those (with a triangle pattern)…Why does Sakaido have a scarf anyway, versus Anaido and Miyo who don’t? As much as I like scarves, especially where colder weather is involved, getting a specific colour scarf was a bit of a headache to be honest, since I took 3 trips before deciding on the one I was going to buy (and even then, someone got it before me! The scarf I have now was my 2nd choice). Update: The shorts, leggings and undershirt are black, but I don’t know if Sakaido is wearing any socks or if they’re black too.

Just to note what Anaido has as well (although a coat like that, with the red detailing and flaps, would be hard to find…), he has a blue coat, suspenders, a white button-up top, a string tie (had to google what that was called, although its name is pretty obvious now that I know), black pants (which kinda look like leggings, but they’re not) and leather boots.

Now Sakaido can go into the loony bin…he’s talking to Kaeru.

Is Anaido going in circles? Sakaido caught up real fast…

Um, hey, protip: When stuck in quicksand, try to “float” on it. If you move, you’ll sink into it more. I don’t know how I know that, but I did stick it into my mind for times like this.

Notably, Anaido is about a head taller than Sakaido. Either Sakaido is unnaturally short and Anaido is average…or Anaido is just tall in that way some men are.

Did the bird get to this dude…?

There appears to be a man with a bun facing Hondomachi in the ED, although you can’t tell who it is from silhouette alone…Maybe he hasn’t appeared in the show yet. (Can’t be Matsuoka though. Might be the old guy who’s the head of Kura, actually.)

Update: Is the dead guy Momoki…?

Id: Invaded 9

It’s the familiar ceiling scene from Evangelion! (Okay, I’m kidding, but it’s a similar deal.)

I think the rules of Fate/ are “do it all, until you can no longer do it” (i.e. Everything is the same, until it’s different). It seems it’s the same here too.

Huh? Momoki?

“It doesn’t seem friendly.” – Yeah, and people die whe they are killed…in murder mysteries like this, usually speaking.

I noticed Narihisago’s tie is the same colour as his Sakaido jacket, if not the shirt under that.

Where did the Challenger’s clothes go after he took them off??? Hyperspace??? He wasn’t shown tossing them.

So Kaeru was Asukai all along, huh?

“Look at this.”

“It makes me think about him.” Subbers, that’s two mistakes in less than 1 minute…

I saw a fanart where Narihisago had his arm broken. I didn’t know why, but now I do. Also, TV Tropes is bad if you want to avoid spoilers…I know that already, but I go there anyway sometimes...

“It makes me wanna puke.”

Iruma-kun 22

The anime’s final episode is next week…but there’s already a season 2 in store for next year, so hopefully I survive the coronavirus and sort out all my issues this year in time for it.

Dat OP though. I’ve grown used to it and it’s actually endeared itself to me…which is odd, since I didn’t think I’d like it at first.

Demdol = akudol. Obviously, from “demon”.

Was that…Clara’s mother??? Kuromu’s older bro doesn’t look too bad, either.

Ohmygosh, this is fabulousssssssssss (and hilarious)! I’ve been waiting for this moment for many episodes, as you can tell if you’ve been following along, and I finally got the payoff!

Clara ends her sentence with –akuma (devil), hence the translation is matching it the same way.

Oh my gosh, Ryouhei Kimura (Azz-kun) sucks at being feminine, but that’s exactly what the role requires for this!

If you just pretend Azz-kun isn’t dressed in such an outlandish outfit, he looks really good…! Ayumu Murase does a pretty good falsetto, although you can tell there’s one point where Kimura’s voice gets really manly-sounding for a lady.

“Little imp” – Koakuma.

Oh! The Keroli family is all cute.

Ooh, Kuromu’s nails are blue. Never noticed that before.

Eizouken 9

Chojugiga are ancient pictures normally depicting animals. As for sepak takraw…

I wonder if Eizouken will tackle the Manabi Line one day…?

That’s a parallel for Comiket, LOL.

“A colossus that no one can see!” – Gridman, is that you?

When did Kanamori meet Asakusa again…?

Kanamori with a bun is cool.

“There is nothing fun about social media!” – Well, social media is fun for me because it’s where I escape reality, but sometimes you gotta be like Kanamori and use it for publicity’s sake.

LOL, the username for the Eizouken is @eizoukenn.

I just realised Mizusaki’s hairstyle is irregular…it’s much longer on on side than the other.

“Mizusaki bump” – I think this references the Colbert bump. (TV Tropes link)

Kanamori – she with the word “gold”…or “money”…in her name – struggles with maths? Wow, that was something to hear. (I guess it’s kinda like me and IT (cybersecurity) – I suck at it because I suck at modulos…or division in short…and even though I can be found on my computer a lot, that’s why I don’t pursue it any longer. I was decent at accounting, but man, I’d be bored out of my brain if you made me do business IT and I have zero skills in games and multimedia.)

“Was it thuggery?” – What’s thuggery? That word sounds funny.

Did you see how Asakusa fell off the tank?

I did CR’s Eizouken quiz sometime in the past and it gave me Asakusa. That’s true, basically. I like thinking up ideas and how cool they are, but because I can’t stop from elaborating on them, they get out of hand and that’s why I have a tonne of dropped projects. (Then again, with how freely I can imagine motion, I could’ve gotten Mizusaki too.) Update: Tried again and I actually did get Mizusaki…whaddaya know.

Id: Invaded 10

People have been comparing this to Minority Report…now I see why.

I almost feel like this is a discussion of euthanasia and suicide as much as it is memory and the consciousness.

Ohh…she remembers! Hondomachi!

You can’t see Muku’s face! Ohh, scary!

Aww, the music really sold this montage. By the way, that sign didn’t say “entrance ceremony”, it said nyuugaku omedetou, “Congratulations on your entry [into school]”.

It…this singer almost sounds like Bruno Mars, but that would be basically impossible, no?

Oh my gosh…when the song swelled, I absolutely cried. That’s rare, man – that’s rare.

BnHA 82

I think the leftmost figure might be Miruko, the rabbit lady. I’ve never read anything about her outside of wiki pages ad other small spoilers, but I roughly know what she looks like.

What does Gentle mean by “Anglaise”? Surely it wouldn’t refer to cream…(crème anglaise)

LOL, Disneyland parades…

Whew…that was dangerous. I almost agreed with Mineta there (to get the festival over and done with).

I swear Midoriya gets together with All Might, just like this, at the end or start of a climactic arc. He did it in the last season of BnHA, remember?

BnHA 83

Hmm…It’s interesting that the author likes to point out who has and hasn’t met Eri. Then again, it’s good for consistency.

LOL, Amajiki my boy…you’re so relatable.

Hmm…amidst the coronavirus concerns…this cancellation business seems quite timely.

Oh! It’s a drone.

For some reason, I thought Sero was drinking vegetable juice…? Eh, no matter. They have vegetable juice in Japan – I remember seeing some on my trip.

Hmm? Gentle is like a phantom thief, I just realised. Mostly harmless, but bound to cause a big stir if he gets his way.

What is Gentle’s Quirk, anyway…?

Work Son…LOL(…?)

Who bets their moustache on this stuff, anyway…? (LOL)

Iruma 23 (FINAL)

I don’t get to see Iruma become evil this season…but he will next season! That visual I’ve been seeing by the original mangaka confirms it!

Marathon - the demon puns are back.

Demonicon =Oricon chart.

Demon Star Platinum…was that…a Jojo’s reference?! *scare chord*

Oh! Maguro (tuna).

Azz-kun being afraid of fish? That’s news to me.

Okay, subbers. Whose idea was it to translate Iruma’s words as “My feels…”…?

There’s a post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Yay! Evil Iruma-kun!...In spring 2021. (I’ve never once been so excited for a character to turn evil than this! I also like how evil Iruma said it’s the “buttcrack” of dawn…but that’s just my immature side showing.)

Id: Invaded 11

“…being taken for a ride!” – Well, you’re in a car, so you’re getting a ride nonetheless. (LOL) I hadn’t heard of the term “being taken for a ride” until…what? 2016, I think? When I was still doing language anaylsis.

Sakaido used Headbutt! It’s…kind of effective? (Writing up these pseudo-Pokémon battles is fun. I should write more.)

“…put a drill to your head…”

“The victims of John Walker’s serial killers…”

I noticed Hondomachi is touching the side of her head which had the hole in it…if I remembered it right.

Is it “the Kura”? Or just Kura?

August 15th is a popular date for anime, huh? It’s in the middle of summer. (Refers to Kagerou Project.)

That ‘who knew you needed to lose something to be complete’ thing…I think I get it, but for some reason I only ever seem to get that feeling when it’s me trying to read asexuality into things (since that’s how I learnt to interpret asexuality), so…yeah, way to go, me.

Wait…Togo visited Momoki’s bedroom?!

Yep, so I was right about that being the side with Hondomachi’s hole.

#simulcast commentary #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #welcome to demon school iruma kun #mairimashita! iruma kun #id: invaded #uchi tama?! uchi no tama shirimasen ka?#uchitama?! have you seen my tama?#Eizouken ni wa Te wo Dasu Na!#keep your hands off eizouken!#Chesarka watches BnHA #chesarka watches mi-k #Chesarka watches Eizouken #Chesarka watches Uchitama #chesarka watches id: invaded

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searchingwardrobes · 5 years

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Fortunate Son

Happy Birthday, @superchocovian! I hope your day has been an awesome one! You are a super supportive, wonderful part of this fandom, and I hope you know how much you are appreciated. The lyrics to “Fortunate Son” by Creedence Clearwater Revival have often made me think of Killian Jones, and I have therefore wanted to do a Vietnam-era AU for a very long time. I listened to it on repeat, trying to wake up my muse, and this fic happened. I hope you enjoy these 2,000 words of angst with a happy ending!

When I think about the Vietnam War, I think of the Army, the Marines, maybe the Air Force, but I never think of the Navy. I did a modest bit of research for this fic just to make sure this was half-way realistic, and what I learned blew me away. Yes, the US Navy fought in Vietnam, but it wasn’t in the way we usually think, shooting torpedoes on war ships out at sea. Vietnam really didn’t have those types of ships, so the US Navy had to improvise, creating what became known as the “Brown Navy.” The Vietnam coast is all rice paddies and marshes, and the country is a network of rivers, so the US Navy built these riverboats to patrol the coast, putting Navy seaman up close and personal with the Viet-Cong. These men looked just like we usually think of the US Military in Vietnam, wearing that jungle green, carrying machine guns with bullets strapped across their chests. The thing was, it wasn’t the type of combat they were trained for. Needless to say, Killian would have been messed up just as much as any other Vietnam vet from things he had seen, and Liam most likely would have died a very gruesome death. My mind was honestly blown learning about this, and even though I don’t directly describe these things in this fic, it definitely shaped the tone it’s written in. Can we say angst?

Summary: He was a nobody with nothing. No family, no direction, no future. He didn’t even have a left hand anymore, for God’s sake. And she was the president’s daughter. A Vietnam-era Lieutenant Duckling story.

Rating: M for language, war & drug references, and sexual situations (come on, this is a Vietnam-era fic, what did you expect?)

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @kday426 @teamhook @bethacaciakay @snidgetsafan @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @shireness-says @let-it-raines @distant-rose @optomisticgirl @wellhellotragic @welllpthisishappening @killian-whump @hollyethecurious @ohmakemeahercules @xhookswenchx @gingerchangeling

Some folks are born, silver spoon in hand. Lord, don’t they help themselves, oh. It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no senator’s son, no.

The first time they met he was a naïve petty officer who had never seen combat. His brother, who had just made Lieutenant, stood next to him. Elsa had teased them that they were chosen for the photograph because they looked so good in dress uniform. Killian was just cocky enough to know she was probably right, and he hated it. As for Emma, her blond hair was pushed back with a turquoise headband, slightly teased and sprayed like current style dictated. Her sheath dress was a swirl of psychedelic colors and her knee-high leather boots were a bright and shiny white. He could tell by the fake smile plastered on her face that she didn’t want to be there. Neither did he, truth be told. He didn’t want to be a prop in her politician father’s photo-op. He certainly didn’t want to fake charm to a senator’s spoiled daughter, either.

He looked her up and down, unable to deny what a stunning figure she cut in her outfit. She could easily have been an actress or a model. But the slight roll of her eyes irritated him. She was nothing but a spoiled princess being dragged around by her rich and influential daddy. Her mother scowled at her and gave her a subtle jab to the ribs. Killian tried not the laugh, keeping his own mask in place. The serious, intense look of a US Naval Officer.

Senator Nolan posed shaking their hands, then with his arms around them. He seemed like a genuine, caring man, and Liam chatted with him amiably. But didn’t these politicians use their charms to earn votes? Killian had a hard time believing it was genuine.

They gave the family a tour of the base, camera clicking away. Killian’s blood pressure intensified every time he heard the blonde girl’s bored sighs. Right before the Nolans boarded their private plane, the photographer asked for pictures of the Nolan women shaking hands with Lt. and Officer Jones. Liam went first, smiling politely as the camera flashed. Killian was polite as well. To Mrs. Nolan, that is. When he reached for Emma’s hand, however, the rogue in him took over.

Instead of merely shaking Emma Nolan’s hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, then winked at her audaciously. She scowled at him and yanked her hand away.

Yet he did note the pink in her cheeks, and he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip at the sight. She narrowed her eyes further and crossed her arms over her chest. Her cheeks however, had now deepened to a delightful shade of red. Served the snooty Daddy’s girl right.

Some folks are born made to wave the flag, ooh, they’re red, white, and blue, and when the band plays, “Hail to the Chief,” ooh, they point the canon at you, Lord. It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no millionaire’s son.

The second time he saw her, he was more bitter and completely broken. Then again, so was she. Gone were the teased hair and go-go boots. In there place was a long, golden waterfall of tangled curls and a billowing hippy dress. Her face was hardened, yet a spark still lit her eyes. How they got her to come, he wasn’t sure, but the light in those jade eyes flashed with intensity as she handed her father each purple heart. Her gaze flickered to the blunted wrist at the end of his left arm, but then quickly rose to meet his eyes. He expected pity, maybe even compassion, but not the look of understanding. Did she recognize him?

“Thank you for your service to your country,” her father said as he pinned the purple heart to the chest of his dress uniform.

They had warned them that the first family likely wouldn’t mingle at the reception, so he was shocked when she was suddenly there at his elbow.

“We met you before, at the base in Norfolk.”

He blinked, not expecting her to remember.

“Um, yes, yes you did.”

“You had a brother.” She was fidgeting, grasping the fabric of her dress in her fist.

“Yes.”

She took one tiny step forward. “What happened to him?”

He swallowed, the plate he held in his one remaining hand trembling slightly. “He didn’t come home, I’m afraid.”

“Neither did Graham,” she whispered. He suddenly realized where he had seen that look in her eyes before: in Elsa’s when Liam’s body came home in a flag-draped coffin.

They both had reasons for the loss of innocence in their eyes, the hardness in the set of their jaws. A lost brother, a lost fiancé. It was a common tale. Frantic, desperate sex for just one night was a common tale lately, too. People broken by this war – this conflict that is – trying to fill the empty spaces with something to feel. But he was a nobody with nothing. No family, no direction, no future. He didn’t even have a left hand anymore, for God’s sake. And she was the president’s daughter. The God-damn secret service probably knew they fucked.

The president’s daughter! What the hell had he been thinking? She was gone the next morning, of course. He had expected that. What he hadn’t expected was the note.

Sorry I left. It’s complicated. - Emma

Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord, and when you ask them, “How much should we give?”, ooh, they only answer “More! More! More!” It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no military son.

The next time he saw her, he was glad five years had gone by. Glad because three of those five he had drowned himself in rum. It could have been worse. He could have been tripping on acid like so many other vets. Could have ended up homeless.

Thank God for Admiral Nemo. He’d come to the squalid apartment he was sharing with Scarlet and Jefferson. Scarlet, who had a worse habit with whiskey than he did with rum. Jefferson, who unfortunately had fallen down the rabbit hole with harder vices. Nemo had practically pried a bottle of rum out of Killian’s hand and dragged him out of there. A year of AA meetings and physical therapy on his arm, and Killian was working alongside Nemo in the private sector. Ships could carry more than troops and weapons, after all.

The day she dropped back into his life, she was dressed professionally, in one of those dresses that looked like a trench coat, and her boots weren’t quite so tall or quite so shiny. Her hair was a bit shorter, the curls softer. Her mouth fell open a little when he walked out of his office, her face turning a shade paler. He smiled at her kindly, gently, trying to assure her that she needn’t be embarrassed. She wasn’t the first grieving woman to tumble into bed with a broken sailor, and she certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Emma had a camera around her neck; she was the photographer Nemo had hired for their new company brochures. Their conversation was brief, polite, and Killian couldn’t help the feeling of loss that washed over him as she began to walk away. Then she paused.

“Killian,” she said, turning around with a smirk on her face, “you look good.”

All he could do was stand there like a complete idiot with a goofy smile on his face.

She found him later, when she was done taking pictures, and he managed to ask her for coffee. Her face went slightly pale again, her eyes going a bit wide, but she said yes. This time, it was her hand that shook as she grasped a mug of hot chocolate. The more he tried to engage her in small talk, the more nervous she seemed.

Finally, he sighed into his own mug of black coffee. “Look, Emma, I think I read this wrong. I was happy to see you again, and was foolish enough I suppose to think fate caused our paths to cross again. But you’re clearly nervous, and I don’t wish to push -”

“No,” she cut him off, “it’s not that.” She took a deep breath, then blurted out, “I had a baby five years ago . . . It’s yours.”

She may as well have punched him in the gut. She babbled on about how she tried to find him, but he’d left the military, so there wasn’t really a way to contact him. Her mother had mentioned pulling some strings with the FBI, but she didn’t want to invade his privacy.

“I hate everything my parents stand for,” she barreled on, “so no way was I letting Big Brother hunt you down.”

She bit her lip as she searched his eyes, and he had a flash of memory. Emma beneath him, long blonde hair splayed out on the pillow, moaning and biting on that full lower lip of hers as she came. He shook his head to clear it.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” she whispered.

“I’ve thought about that night a hundred times.” Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say. It was probably completely out of context. He held his breath thinking he’d put his foot in his mouth until a smile slowly spread across her face.

“So have I.”

Some folks inherit star-spangled eyes. It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate son.

He met Henry for the first time on Emma’s front lawn. He was riding a bicycle on the grass, with no training wheels. He kept falling over into the grass, then jumping right back on again. An elderly woman sat on Emma’s front porch swing, watching over him. The babysitter said her goodbyes, and Emma pulled Killian down on the porch steps to meet his son.

They didn’t tell Henry that night who Killian was. They didn’t tell him the next day either when they took Henry to the beach to look for shells. They didn’t tell him the month after when Killian made them pancakes after staying the night. No moment ever seemed right, until the day the three of them sat on a blanket at the park having a picnic lunch. Killian knew if he was going to use the ring in his pocket, he better let his son in on the truth.

His son. His son and Emma’s.

He still had nightmares sometimes; of men cut down all around him, the muddy marshes turning red with their blood. He still could never forget Liam dying in his arms, choking on blood. So much blood. His dreams were often red with it.

Yet Emma was there when he woke in a cold sweat, and he knew in the deepest part of him that she always would be. His son rested against his chest when he was tired, his brown hair wet with sweat, his limbs loose as jello. Despite the death Killian had seen and been a part of, this innocent child slept peacefully in his arms.

Emma’s tender smile and Henry’s wide and trusting eyes made him hope again, made him believe again. That maybe, just maybe, he was the most fortunate man in the world.

#cs ff #cs modern au #lieutenant duckling #cs vietnam-era au #angst #angst with a happy ending #fandom birthday playlist #for superchocovian #on her birthday #fortunate son

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werevulvi · 5 years

Text

I hate my chest... situation. I know I fucked up my ribs real bad from my 5 years of binding (and I used sports bras additionally under the binder, literally just to have a barrier with softer fabric against my boobs, I didn't think anything of it) but it was alright, for the most part, for the next 4 years after my top surgery when I didn't bind anymore. I'd only occasionally get random chest pains and random moments of not being able to take deep breaths, but it was just a few times per year and didn't bother me much. But now since detransitioning, I've been wearing bras again. And god damn... for these past 11 months that I've been doing so, my chest situation has increasingly worsened by the day.

I know I've been mentally resisting trying to get over my top surgery regret cause I just really, really badly wish I had boobs again. What kind of cruel fate is this?! Hating my boobs from the start of puberty, then trying everything I could to be fine with them, then sexually assaulted by my fucking boyfriend so to the point I wanted to rip them off my chest and swore to never let anyone touch them again... and kept that promise. Then bound them for 5 years as I despised them, then I finally got top surgery that I had been waiting for and anticipating... only to regret it at 9 days post-op when I first saw it. Then stuffing that regret away for 4 years until I detransitioned last year, when I released those feelings.

I cried my fucking heart out for months in a grief so heavy I've never felt before. And now realising I can't wear my breast forms most of the time. I need to wear them less and less...

Especially sports bras and underwire bras are the worst. But I tried buying an extra soft mastectomy bra that's said to even be fine to sleep in but even that one is hurting really bad. Getting implants might not put too much strain on my chest in and of themselves, but I really wanna get back to karate again. And I'd have to wear a sports bra for that if I'd have boobs again, but I can't if it restricts my breathing like this. So this is where I'm at now, if I'm gonna have to choose between boobs and karate... I can't let my dysphoria kill my dreams. Not any more.

Now this sure is a tight fucking spot to be in with no damn wiggle room in either direction. I have to try to overcome my chest dysphoria and top surgery regret, cause there's just no way around it. I can't ignore my physical health for the sake of my mental health anymore. Cause if I do, it'll just backfire on me eventually. I can exercise just fine without anything constricting my chest, like just wearing regular loose clothing, but that means I can't have boobs then. Why... why should I have to choose between boobs and my dreams? Don't even get me started on how "unfair" it is, I don't care. It's cruel, that's what it is. It's simply cruel. I begged to all the damn gods and godesses any which where to please not make me choose between those two. I guess they didn't care. I wish I hadn't dug up that regret last summer. I wish I hadn't let myself grieve. Cause at least it was bearable when I could pretend that I was fine with my chest being flat, during those 4 years between 2014 and 2018. Oh, what a waste. All of it.

This will be hard to get through, as if it wasn't already. Cause I never once liked it being flat, I'll surely struggle to find ways to live with it. But I do think it's possible. Oh come on, I've gotten this far, I believe pretty much anything is possible at this point. But I also believe I'll need to go through a living hell to get through it. And knowing I'll actually willingly open that door to yet another hell and force my way through it... you don't fuck with that kind of willpower. So I know I can do it, it's not that. I just... really hate this situation. I've already been wearing my boobs less often, and even been outside without them twice this past week. I know I can do it again. And again. Although I don't wanna face my mom pressuring me about my "gender identity crisis" if/when she sees me dressed up but without boobs (likely for driving me somewhere). None of of her damn business! Out of all the people picking at my looks, strangers included, her comments are the worst. So what if she doesn't think it's socially acceptable or whatever for women to be hairy, have deep voices or flat chests, so fucking what?! She gave birth to me and changed my diapers as a baby, she if anyone knows I'm female. I wanna tell her to just fuck off about my looks, body and style, but instead I just keep resorting to trying to explain and only failing better each time. How can a gnc woman keep ragging on her gnc daughter for not being gnc in the "right" or exact same way? I don't understand!

If she had grown up in my generation she probably would have transitioned too and then ended up asking herself what was the point of it all, like I did. Or at least that's not at all unlikely. So how the hell can she rag on me for not wanting to mutilate my own body even further, but in a feminising direction instead? That's the part I can't understand. Isn't coming to terms with BOTH my female biology AND the changes I made to its exterior the best possible route I could take? But I think she's in denial about how she herself stands out with her own gnc looks, cause me standing out in a crowd really seems to be the torn in her side.

I don't even understand where her views are coming from, if it's closer to radfem or old school conservative views of gender but with a liberal "do as you wish" leaning. Not knowing her perspective on what she even thinks makes me a woman or a man or whatever she even sees me as, makes it kinda hard to explain my perspective on it. But it's possible that her reluctance to accept my way of being gnc could be her thinking I in some sense "became" a man through my transition, and that I won't "qualify" as a woman again in her eyes unless I'll start looking like one again. If so, she can take that stick and just jam it in a little farther. Cause that's bullshit, and I would not be afraid to straight up tell her that. But I do not know if that's what her stick is about.

I know I'll look at those cute feminine tops and dresses in my wardrobes that require boobs to look good cause of how they're sewn, with a sinking feeling in my chest of how can I ever wear this again? I'm a femme by heart, fuck knows no damn clothes fit my broken body anymore! Nothing is designed to fit a flat chest and wide hips. Literally nothing. And I look dumb. My chest doesn't match my curvy ass, and I hate that. It looks so bad. Like I've got a male upper body and a female lower body. But I don't wanna cut up my ass to match my chest, that would be even dumber, and I like my ass. I feel like a table with unevenly long legs whobbling around, but I've come to a point where I've realised I can't just keep cutting its legs so now it just has to be uneven like that. And now I can't even put a book underneath the shortest leg to keep it steady anymore, cause that's the metaphor for my fake boobs. Anyone else feel like a whobbly table which's legs has been cut too many times to irrevokable unevenness, or is that just me? Well, tight tank tops with some cute lace details or pattern fit my upper body quite nicely even with just the flatness underneath, and I can always wear any skirts cause they're really "one shape fits all" and I love that about how easy it is to wear skirts. Tied blouses are neat too (unless I tie too hard), and open tunics. Most cardigans and feminine jackets work as well. Stretchy bolero's will fem up any outfit. Jewellery and makeup will too, of course.

And the bonus: if me not having boobs will somehow make me less likely to be perceived to be a trans woman, I'll fucking cheer halleluja. Cause sometimes I'd just rather be perceived as a regular gnc dude cause at least then people don't tend to think I'm an oversensitive TRA ready to dislodge their heads from their shoulders if they'd accidentally misgender me or say something "offensive." Male is male regardless of how you twist and turn it and how it identifies. To be seen as a fake woman is no fucking better than be seen as a straight up man in a flamboyant style. They're both just as damn incorrect when applied to me, but people do tend to have a better attitude when they think I'm just a straight up man in a dress. So if I have to choose, that's the better of those two options, seriously. But it's a damn difficult decision to put my boobs away for good. It feels like I'm living the twisted nightmare version of my childhood dream. I wanted to be a feminine man so badly. Now this detrans femme lesbian who can't pass as female anymore reality freak show, feels like some kind of twisted nightmarish version of that childhood wish. Oh I always knew that sex dysphoria sucked... but I never could have imagined back then, that it could suck quite this bad. I'll never get away from it, never entirely. Cause no matter what I'll always have to live with the consequences of my transition.

Now this is no joking matter, I know that, but I can't stop laughing at this truly miserable outcome. Cause I know I can't truly grasp it. It's bewildering.

#me venting #ok to rb #detransition #letting out my emotional frustrations #top surgery regret #detrans woman #chest dysphoria #damaged ribs #breast reconstruction #difficult decisions

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derekscorner · 5 years

Note

Between KH2 and KH3, which game did you like more, both story and gameplay-wise?

Ah is this that KH2 vs 3 debate I hear is ongoing? Well if you’re in for a sit I can answer that.

Gameplay:

From this angle I quite bluntly find KH2 Final Mix more fun. I’m not going to argue what was arguably better or worse, gameplay preference is a matter of…well preference no matter how many wish to deny this fact.

Not that you do but I”m sure some lover or hater of one will see this and try to retort. o3ob

Anyway; I felt Kh2 final mix was more technical and “harder” if I had to describe the feeling. Like 3 KH2 is normally overly easy but when put on critical mode it’s technicalities shine.I had to learn tactics, I couldn’t spam X or △, and I learned uses for summons. Which I found ironic since the 2 summons are far more useful when you dont initiate their moves.

Like if I let Stitch wander the screen he’ll deflect projectiles and keep my MP full. Chicken Little is a great early Magnet substitute and Peter Pan+Tinker Bell gives you a Phoenix Down.This was an improvement to KH1 in which only Tinker Bell was a spell with decent combat use. 1′s other summons had more supplemental uses imo.

KH3′s summons were nearly win buttons I felt. Simba in particular, while damn spectacle, felt broken. I never bothered to learn them as I didn’t need them. Which I’m sure they have their own uses but I’m not really fond of many control schemes for them so I opt out of it.

In terms of the magic system I felt 2 and 3 were opposites. In KH3 magic is far too powerful, something many have noted. And while you dont ‘have’ to use it that’s not an excuse for a problem. You should choose not to use it not force yourself to ignore it for challenge.

KH2 on the opposite spectrum made magic nearly useless I felt. Many enemies didn’t stun nor have elemental damage. Fire’s AOE animation was good for early Critical game and Blizzard helps that first Hollow Bastion visit but many enemies shrug the base spells off later.In contrast, KH2′s Magnet and Thunder spells can be OP. Reflect in of itself is practically the only spell you’d ever need to use due to it’s nature.

So while many have long rants on either’s magic system I dont really think one trumps the other. each one is equally flawed with issues I dont see ever being addressed.

In terms of keyblade combat I preferred KH2′s because I felt like Sora was automated in 3. I spam X cause I’m a scrub at timing presses (DMC5 is helping me overcome that) and due to this I noticed real quick that Sora’s combos just felt really automated.

Like I’d press X for one hit and get three. In contrast, KH2′s combat is harder. Sora animates combos as fast as my lazy ass can spam X and I’m not floating around like a final fantasy god.

I’m not really sure how to put this feeling into words but I do feel Kh2 keyblades are funner or snappier to combo whereas in KH3 I’m playing a watered down FFXV with it’s hold/press X for combo string.

Both games are so similar outside this issue that I dont see no reason to list likes or dislikes. If anything, from here, KH3 had great quality of life changes. The menu system was easier on the eyes and I’d be a damned soul if I didn’t admit I like switching keyblades mid-combat.

I also really appreciate KH3 finally using Re:Coded’s keyblade ideas. It’s been there since that DS game yet no one every expanded on making keyblades unique since. It was a very foolish step backward to me.

I love that keyblades level up, I love that each one has a preference and the only way that could’ve been better is if they adapted Coded’s system entirely and gave each keyblade (or most) it’s own unique combo.

KH2 quite frankly just falls short in a hindsight perspective since keyblades were “stat sticks” and you only ever chose weaker ones for an ability. Which, back then, was a huge step up from KH1.

So KH3 wins in this area I also dont really hate on Kh2 for it since KH2 is a product of the era. This idea of keyblades growing with you didn’t happen till Re:Coded.

As for Shotlocks…I dont like them. I hated them in BBS and I hate them here. It’s not even a comparison to KH2 type of opinion. I hate Shotlocks, I never use shotlocks so I’m going to skip those.

I mean sure, KH2 had limits but the only limits I use are Knocksmash so I can’t exactly praise KH2′s half of that either.

And when it comes to Forms vs Transformations I think both have pros and cons the other lacks. For example, some Transformations are really cool, I love the hammer weapons or the dual pistols.

I also believe the staff transformation is what KH2′s wisdom form should’ve been in terms of how it does magic or basic attacks.

That said, I also really dislike many second forms keyblades have. I never evolve the pistols into the bazooka, I never turn the hammer into the drill, I have those second forms. It’s to the extent I prefer keyblades that have one form such as the staff.

I’m also not fond of the Kingdom Key’s 2nd form change. It’s a neat throwback and I love the outfit recolor but I dont find it fun to use.

Between the two games my favorite forms are Valor Form, Anti-Form, and the Staff Transformation. Odds are I wont use anything else unless I feel particularly bored.

I might use others more often if KH3 forced me to rely on them for tactics but as of right now it does not. This may change with 3 gets it’s Critical Mode DLC. Similar to how KH2FM forced me to rely on forms I hate like Wisdom or Final.

As a concept I will admit that I dislike transformations. I dont like the idea of keyblades becoming magical swiss army knives. KH3 pulled the idea off better than I expected but I dont like it all the same.

The only, and I mean only, thing I felt KH2 did better was tie forms to a meter. In KH3 the commands appear randomly (and often) and I dont gain consequences for using them.

In KH2 this was tied to your Drive Gauge. You had to plan what you used and this is an issue I felt KH3 had as a whole. Rather than shotlocks, I’d have preferred that Focus Gauge to be reserved for my summons and forms so that I could have better control of what I picked and to reduce how broken they are in-game.

The rest is miscellaneous opinions so I’ll rapid fire:

Gummi Ships: always hated them, BBS did Gummi Ships best. Point goes to KH3 here since I can at least skip most of it.

Minigames: I’ve never found a KH minigame fun. No one wins here

Worlds: KH3 wins this aspect too. World towns have actual people in them and when it uses original plots the worlds are quite good. I also appreciate the power to explore and soft platform again. It gives me a more immersive feeling than later titles ever have. (although I feel KH1 was still better than both here)(entirely because of how many small details/cameos/secrets a KH1 world had compared to sequels)

I dont really have a more technical opinion than that. I do however think Arendelle was a horrendous world and I hate to even be there. For a myriad of reasons….reasons that would be a rant post of it’s own.

Lil Chef: I never use the food. I dont care if it’s a good spot for ingredients. If I want to cook stuff I’ll do some irl or play FFXV.

Enemies: KH3 used nobodies more than KH2 did and I find that a damn crying shame. I also felt Unversed were underutilized. KH2 still takes the point here due to the combat points I mentioned above.

KH3 fodder is prettier and can be more elaborate but KH2 is funner to play and destroy them in so KH2.

The Disney Rides: I don’t use them, they break the game. I do like the choo choo though since it’s situational to specific battles. KH2 has nothing akin to these so there’s no comparison, I just wish the rides could be disabled or that they worked more like the train. (set to key fights)

KH2 vs KH3 Commands: Eh both aren’t that good. KH3 spams you commands to shift through and KH2 has so many for spectacles sake that the games get easy. There is no winner here, if anything KH2 should’ve restricted these like KH3 restricts the Train ride summon.

Final Fantasy: I dont like FF games but I consider the ones of Kh1 part of the main cast. Their alternate KH selves are important to me. The lack and fading of FF over the years is quite honestly something I dislike and 3′s total lack of them is inexcusable to me. KH2 takes this point since I got to at least meet Leon and crew again.

Then there’s the story.

Anyone that’s followed the blog or met me knows I strongly dislike the direction of KH’s story. It’s not a matter of things others debate, I do not like it. I hate it and I’m still teetering on quitting.

I wont even go into the points cause I’ve made a whole series of posts about my story gripes. I wont link them since this isn’t a shameless plug, I just want to iterate that my issues with the story has driven me to make 20+ tangents plus the older more angry rants.

Others liking it is fine I think, I get easily annoyed if someone tries to excuse something out of nostalgia or adoration, but generally anyone that likes it while admitting faults or agreeing to disagree is fine. (you do you folks)

If I had to rank them I feel KH2 is where a lot of issues started and I feel a lot of issues got worse after since the sequels tried to “fix” that mess. If left alone KH2 would’ve been a poorly written entry and a good stopping point for any disillusioned fan.

KH3 as a contrast tied up everything after 2 up til 3 itself. I do not consider the story good, the pacing is very jarring because it lacks a mid point, it’s weighed down by all the BS prior to it.

I do not feel attachment for the “trios” of the series, I find the repetition of them annoying. I find it a shame most have more dev time than the originals they’re cloned based on.

And I frankly dislike Xehanort as a villain. He’s not interesting, his motives seem to switch with several report entries and I dont eve get the satisfaction of ending him like I did Xemnas or Ansem.

I was entirely indifferent to the entirety of this game’s narrative as I played it. Something that worried my friend @blackosprey because I was so tired I could not even care enough to hate it.

I did fine the trios reunions well done. I dislike them for a list of reasons but they were coming back anyway, their fates sucked prior, so those were well done. I finally felt hype when the LW appeared (only to vanish, fuck you nomura) and in the final battle.

The ending was confusing to me. So many got a happy ending so I fail to see the logic of Sora vanishing. The Luxu reveal, which I found fucking hilarious, was the only sequel bait needed.To have Sora just up and die felt like a stupid decision and I’m sure many more found it insulting.

And when mentioning Luxu I dont mean it in a sarcastic fashion. I genuinely find him funnier in retrospect due to this retroactive change. Nearly every line or scene he’s said is now funny as hell because he’s this ancient troll. I consider it the first legitimately earned twist Nomura has made in ages.

Still, KH2′s writing and story isn’t great either. I could rant why, I have ranted why, but despite it’s flaws it was an “ending” to me.So if asked 2 or 3 I will pick 2. The writing in Kh2 is bad for lots of reasons but if I ignore the Ansem reports it’s no a story about Xehanort.

Ignoring one KH2 report let’s me live this simpler story of Sora and a scientist gone mad and the journey to stop him. It had a lot of stupid things or one of the worst “twists for twists sake” moments ever in the ‘two ansems’ reveal.

But still, I can play Kh2 and be in a KHverse where Xehanorts, Keyblade Wars, Ceremonies, timelines, sleeping worlds, data world abuse, and clones upon clones dont exist.

It’s not nostalgia so much as everything I came to dislike was post KH2. KH3 was all about these things I dont like. My favorite for key and nostalgic reasons is KH1, my pick of the question is Kh2.

KH3′s best assets that can’t be contested was it’s graphical evolution. I played KH3 three times back to back due to this, I came away from KH3 wishing KH1 or 2 looked like this. No game prior contests the look.

So all in all, as I reread this, it’s largely a mixed bag. Neither game is grand but I prefer KH2 because combat is more fun to me and it’s not tied down by a narrative and mythology I’ve come to hate.

I can play KH1, CoM, and KH2 and never be annoyed about something I loved going in a direction I hated.

#kingdom hearts #kh3

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

Text

Alright, you know what?...

... I’m gonna go w/ the devil I know here. And right now? That’s original Woz.

Oh, yeah, and I watched a raw of Zi-O 17.

In no order at all.

Also, note that from here on out, I will refer to ‘original Woz’ simply as Woz, and New Woz as just that:

He can change the future by writing in his Nook? That seems kinda OP. I’m assuming there are constraints on it.

My hunch feeling rn is that the original quartet is gonna be ‘squad’ and that New Woz is gonna be... Not squad?

Hmmm... Things I’d most likely love: everything repeatedly going on about Geiz and Sougo killing each other/having to fight and them never doing that bc we make our own future here; someone pulling a loophole; not having the Zi-Ot3 turn on each other at all, despite everyone telling them they will (kinda related to the above); Woz getting backstory (that’s a given); learning what Woz and Geiz’s history is; Woz getting a redemption arc if he needs one and not being a manipulative meanie; the Zi-Ot3 deciding that they want to make their own future where none of them have to kill each other and things are happy; Woz deciding to humour them and play along, then one day realising he’s become the mask and gotten suckered in; Woz fighting New Woz for the others’ sake (like if New Woz is against the third timeline idea, or something) and getting his Driver; hell, we could move up to Zi-Ot4, I would be down for that.

And the award for realising when there are two of someone goes too... Not Tsukuyomi. Seriously girl, get your eyes checked?

Oh, yeah, and the boys are still super in sync. See? Proof that they’re meant to work together.

I feel like KR Shinobi’s henshin had references, but it’s been too long since I watched Ninninger. The frog. Definitely the frogs, I remember the frogs.

I’m waiting for Geiz to be like ‘Two of Woz? Just what the world needs!’

Yeah, seriously. No way he’s going to trust some random version of Woz just bc he’s got a beret.

Hey, Toei, please don’t make Geiz into a villain? Please? For me? Oh, what am I saying, Toei doesn’t care about me. But I would love if everything is about how they’re going to fight... But then never do, except maybe at the end where they decide they’d better fulfil the prophecy--by having pillow fight or something.

Confession time, though: I know I whine about him a lot, but I am actually quite fond of Woz. I just wish he’d, you know, stop trying to force Sougo into becoming something he doesn’t want to be (aka murderous tyrant)--or if he’s not doing that... Well, then I’d love to know that, so that I can stop holding it against him.

Also if he could not be a manipulative bastard. Though it hasn’t been quite as bad since that one ep...

Another thought, though... Except when he’s openly obnoxious and pushing the Ouma Zi-O card, Tsukuyomi seems quite civil with him... Which might indicate that part of the issue between him and Geiz is personal. I mean, I do like the brothers theory, but I’m open.

God, would they be twins? Or would one of them be older? My first thought would be Woz, but who knows?

But this could hit all of my darlings--all the friendship, from reluctant to friends-enemies-friends again, us against the world, emotionally awkward, very earnest boos who are too good and honest to be assassins--seriously, honey, what are you doing here?

Okay, I’m very tired and getting nonsensical. But also Keisuke looks like he’s having the time of his life, and I respect that.

Ugh, this Nook! Geiz, tell him to stop, apparently he likes you.

I feel like the last thing Geiz wants is a Woz following him around.

The tentative squad breakdowns are Geiz/Sougo and Woz/Tsukuyomi and that is kinda hilarious to me. XD

(Tentative bc I’m still unsure about Woz)

HE HAS A HOOD. WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BERET. Also I don’t like his laugh. Woz, kill him and take his stuff! But... Leave the beret.

Also, I think Tsukuyomi has been wearing a sweater and skirt all this time, and honestly, cute.

A big thing here is that Geiz and Tsukuyomi don’t know New Woz at all--like, Woz is the one they’re familiar w/. I really hope the show has them do the same thing I am--stick w/ the Woz you know.

Seriously, I feel like Keisuke is deliberately making New Woz seem as untrustworthy as possible and it’s working.

Sougo, stop getting distracted, and look where you’re waving that! It’s okay, Geiz, he doesn’t mean it. He’s just dumb. ^^

Alright, time to see if Geiz can pass the spot the difference test. Tsukuyomi failed, Sougo passed, and person who's double it is isn’t allowed to play. You’re up, sweetie. You get a pass on last time, bc you were out of commission, but even though you’re my son and I love you dearly, I don’t have high hopes.

No, wait. Oh, come on, guys, at least give him a chance to guess!

He was just plain ready to fight him, oh my god. I love my son so much.

This part of why I’m so excited to see him and Ryuga together. Bc while Geiz is like, very intense and serious ‘we must go fight things’ Ryuuga is all cheerful ‘Yeah! Let’s fight things!’ Both of them respond to stuff by trying to fight it, just in different ways.

Also, Woz looks vaguely concerned there? Might just be general concern for the situation though. Watch it, dude, I might start to think you’re worried about Geiz.

Accidentally paused at a moment where New Woz looks like he is attempting to take flight. Would not put it past him in that outfit.

Not sure what the outfit has to do with this, but I’m too tired to delete anything now.

And thus, everyone was very fucking confused.

Woz looks offended. Pretty sure Geiz has even less clue what’s happening.

Like, we can’t see him through the helmet, but he really seems like he’s considering backing away slowly or something.

It’s like that ‘I’m not sure what x is and at this point I’m afraid to ask’ thing.

I think Geiz is literally in shock. Actually, I think everyone is in shock. Like, they’re all just standing here staring. Honestly? That’s what I’d be doing.

So... Did alternate future Geiz send New Woz, or is New Woz just... Here on his own?

New Woz be like ‘hey, bitch, I can transform!’ But now I’m also wondering where he got the Driver.

Also, like, I know my mind control fic was spawned from a thought I had, but... Like, that’s a way I could accept it. Like, if someone--maybe New Woz, maybe someone else--tries to enforce one of the timelines by using it on Geiz or Sougo or both to make them fight? That I’d take. I just really want this to be ‘started out as enemies and became friends’? Like w/ Spectre.

Oh, my, I do like his Henshin, though...

Also, the freaking Ride Watch does sound confused, that’s hilarious.

The beret still looks weird, though.

Also I... I do still like the suit. I like it. I mean, I like it in a different way than I love Cross-Z and Geiz’s suit (and get me started on the beauty of RabbitDragon in Be The One!), but... I love it. I love goofy suits. I love glowy. I love the neon. I love it. Just don’t think I love the person inside of it atm.

Well, that’s a justification for why everyone just stands and watched the tertiary fight. They’re all too shocked to do anything.

I love how Tsukuyomi’s like ‘O.o Woz transformed!’ while standing next to Woz.

That’s cheating, you.... Glow stick!

Oh, I do like this suit actor, though. Love the motion style.

One the other hand, though. This is proof the future can change. So they could decide to try changing it more.

Also kinda hope Geiz is just like ‘Well, he didn’t say I had to do it right now...’

Seriously, though, that’s a very evil laugh. It’s making me uncomfortable. Keisuke, why are you good at your job?

Preview: Please, Toei, don’t go where I am slightly afraid you will go w/ this. You did right by me before, do it again. I mean, Geiz didn’t sound to happy about New Woz, there? And it played over a clip of his looking annoyed? So.. Hope? Maybe New Woz is what ends up driving the squad to be come a squad? Though... are they just gonna pop into the future to get Kinji, like... How are we doing this? Woz is probably gonna use this to jump in and be a nasty manipulative jerk face again, hope he grows out of that. But despite that, in terms of something like trust, I prefer him to New Woz. Call me crazy, that just... Unnerves me. And think he’s meant to?

Whelp, that’s all. Internet pizza for anyone who read all that nonsense.

I am very tired now, so I’m gonna go to bed, but that was interesting. Hope this ends up bringing my kids together even more instead of pushing them apart, though can’t be sure from the preview. Well see...

But also, I know Shocker is on the table, but anyone remember Foundation X? What if they got involved somehow? Would it be the first time those two worked together? I feel like no, but I could easily be wrong, my memory of Shocker’s extensive history isn’t great. -_-;

Until then, a good night.

#Kamen Rider Zi-O #Kamen Rider Zi-O Spoilers #Zi-O Spoilers #very tired #much bed #but #have I mentioned I love Geiz?#<3 #please don't make him turn on the squad Toei don't do it #please #Timey Wimey Rider

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babybahamut · 6 years

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Games Of 2017

Once again, here is my annual review of the games I played in the course of the year. I usually only include games I haven’t played before, but this year I spent 6 months without a decent computer and therefore it’d be a very short list if I did that. Alphabetical order for no reason. Quick mention to Love Live School Idol Festival which three years later I’m still playing- much less so now that the mu’s story mode has ended (I’ve tried to, but I just don’t care about Aqours in anywhere near the same way) but I still play every mu’s event. Looking forward to what All Stars is going to bring us! I miss my girls!

Borderlands 2

A pretty fun FPS, the randomised weapons keep things interesting. I started off as the Gunzerker but I found myself resorting to sniping 99% of the time so I used a save-editor to change myself to the sniper dude and had a much happier time of it. It got kinda dull after a while though and I haven’t finished it- enemies either stomp you or go down very quickly with no real strategy involved beyond “snipe the head”, and there’s no actual impetus to do well. If you die, you just respawn a little distance away with less money (which you get an abundance of and is also not very useful) and you get to keep all the EXP you’d earned up to that point, so you can just bum-rush a group of enemies and die over and over until they’re done. A LOT of the sidequests also boiled down to “go back to this place you already cleared and do the whole thing again and the enemies are the same so they aren’t worth killing any more in EXP terms but you still have to in order to survive”, which was boring. However, it probably would be a lot of fun to play it co-op with a friend, which unfortunately I wasn’t able to do. The writing is FANTASTIC though, it’s a very funny game and Handsome Jack is SUCH a cock.

Breath Of The Wild

I mean… I don’t need to spend long talking about how exceptionally good this game is, right? Everyone already knows that. It’s really, really, REALLY good, and lets leave it at that. What I do want to talk about is something this game does that no other game has ever done for me- it made me fear for my life.

Even encountering a fairly simple mob of monsters brought with it all kinds of considerations- is it worth engaging them? Using up my equipment on these enemies when I could just avoid them might be the wrong decision, or do they have something I need? Can I sneak around them or will I be spotted and have to engage them anyway, so should I get the drop on them while I have the advantage of stealth? One of the mob is a stronger version than the rest, can I even fight him without being killed in one hit?

It’s so interesting to me- usually I throw myself into a challenge and if it’s one that I’m not matched for, I just shrug it off and come back later. This is, I think, the first time I’ve ever had that feeling of genuine survival in a video game. Really great stuff.

Frontier

This space simulator from the Amiga era was an astonishing technical achievement at the time, squeezing an entire galaxy into a single floppy disk. The game presents space in real-world scale and it literally takes days to traverse a solar system (you can increase the speed of game-time though!) and it also observes newtonian physics with the way ships move in space. There’s no goal- simply live your life in space and try to get by. A childhood fave that’s still enjoyable, but it’s gotta be your type of game to begin with.

Golden Axe

Played this co-op with Ruu! Golden Axe is a game that you HAVE to play with a friend- it’s dull as dishwater solo but with a buddy it becomes a good laugh. Gilius Thunderhead and Tyris Flare killed Death Adder and Death Adder Junior and saved the king and princess!

Gunstar Heroes

Treasure’s debut is also one of their finest games and a fantastic run’n’gun in its own right. We played this co-op too and had a total blast. It’s one of the jewels in the crown of co-op and if you have someone to play with you’ll be hard-pressed to find a more fun game to burn through. It’s also a lot of fun to play solo, which I did on Hard difficulty for the first time ever. I usually run chaser+chaser, but in Hard mode it doesn’t do enough damage so I opted for fire+laser, which apparently can destroy bullets!

Hatoful Holday

Played the first chapter of this one- the first game was really gripping but this one didn’t grab me quite so firmly. I want to come back to it though, and I’m sure it gets a lot more compelling later on.

Iji

I had the sudden urge to play this rad-as-heck indie game out of nowhere to find that after 6 years, it had been updated just a week before I got the urge. Playing through again with the improvements, this is still a great game made even better- it’s a run-n-gun that’s a little bit metroidvania, with upgradable stats, but where it shines is in the writing and logbooks you’ll find within. The world has been destroyed by the alien race known as the Tasen. A team of scientists who survived the onslaught use the Tasen’s nanotechnology to revive Iji, in the vain hope she might be able to save what remains of Earth. I actually think this game will appeal to Undertale fans, strangely- there’s a similar pacifist/aggressor system in place (though not to the extreme of Undertale) that makes playing through in both styles worthwhile. For the dedicated, the game is absolutely riddled with secrets and bonuses to find if you’re wily. Huge recommendation and it’s completely free.

Ikaruga

2017 saw the arrival of a new friend who surprised me with their knowledge of this game. Confronted with the fact that I’d bumped into someone who knew about one of my favourite games of all time, I had no choice but to play through it once more. It’s beautiful, it’s brutal, it’s smart, it’s brutal, it’s another masterpiece by the geniuses of Treasure, and it’s available on Steam for goodness sake BUY IT.

Jak and Daxter (+2)

This series is midgi’s special series from childhood, so she had to share it with me. This is the PS3 collection. I finished the first one and played some way into the second which I’m still working on. The first is your standard collectathon platformer fare that was popular at the time- Jak has a janky double jump that was frustrating several times, but it’s fun. The second game I’ve enjoyed a lot more so far, becoming more of a run-n-gun/platformer that overall has a much darker tone. I need to get back into this one but I’ve enjoyed what I’ve played so far.

Kirby Robobobobobobot

Oh man, what an unbelievably fun and tight game. If you’ve played any kirby game before you know what to expect here, a fun platformer where you can absorb enemy abilities to use as your own. This one has the same puzzle/challenge aspects as games before it, with each level containing 3 Puzzle Cubes to collect, rewarded after solving something a little tricky or out of the way. New to this game is the Robobot Armour, which is so so so much fun to roll around in that I can’t even begin to explain. It’s so satisfying to jump in the armour and just blast through a level, and it’s used really well too- it never feels like a gimmick and you get to use it a lot. The final boss (the final encounter, I should say- there’s like 5 final bosses without including the secret and bonus extra final bosses) is great and there’s one mindblowing scene at the end where I was watching open-mouthed with surprise. Also, the soundtrack is AMAZING- it has one of the most intense final boss themes I’ve ever heard (spoiler free link), and the rest of the soundtrack has a nice crunchy metallic, mechanical sound to it. Huge recommend.

The Last Of Us

Bloody hell, it’s grim isn’t it? I enjoyed it though, the story doesn’t have many smiles but the gameplay is a lot of fun. Stealthing around and sniping jerks was the best, but the game seems to send more enemies in out of nowhere if your stealth breaks which means you can get blindsided from an area you just cleared, which is irritating. It’s very good at making ammo feel scarce but giving you enough you don’t feel like you need to conserve everything, which also rewards exploration.

Love Nikki

F2P mobile fashion dress-up game with a bewildering array of options, there’s literally 1000+ items in each category to choose from and the art is SO PRETTY. It’s not just dress-up, there’s a story mode to play through and events to unlock more outfits, plus clothing item “evolution” (collect X amount of one item and you can spend them to upgrade it). There’s a lot to do here!

Pikmin 1 and 2

Playing them both together 10 years on, I definitely would say the first game is stronger. The second added a slew of new features and QoL upgrades, but the lack of that 30 day timer really changes the feel of the game. That little bit of pressure in the first game was just oppressive enough to make you plan your movements and constantly re-evaluate your priorities, all of which was missing from 2. People considered it better back in the day to be without the timer, but I disagree.

Pokemon Moon

I was entirely ready to declare this my GotY until Pokemon Ultra Sun/Moon were announced, and now I kind of feel like I got stiffed with half of a game. But, evaluating it on its own merits, this is the best pokemon game I’ve played. I’m not entirely sold on all the new ‘mons (but Decidueye is AWESOME) but I appreciate all the ways this game finally breaks the constraints that the series has had since gen1.Major criticism I have for this one is the dull soundtrack- considering Gen5 and 6 had great OSTs it was a real disappointment.

Later on, as part of my Gym Leader Umi challenge, I came back to play the game in a more competitive way (or at least, I built a team that had competitive viability) and it provided a very different experience. It’s not quite as friendly to this style of play as Gen6 was, but breeding is quick enough and thankfully you don’t need to level your team up to 100 to use them (as online will automatically level them up to max). Nintendo’s online is still janky as heck, but this is the best it’s ever been, and I had a lot of fun playing the game in a different way. (Again, USUM tempered this by adding a slew of new stuff and rendering all my work to have been in vain, because now people only play the new games… and they aren’t compatible)

Super Mario Odyssey

Only played it VERY briefly cos we wanted to finish BOTW before jumping into this, but I’m impressed so far. I really like how it doesn’t tutorialise much- you just find stuff and interact with it and it WORKS and it’s cool.

Super Mario World

Timeless, flawless, 2d platforming perfected. Can’t be beat.

Snakebird

Bloody wars, this puzzle game is HARD. I didn’t want to just use guides because then what’s the point, but I definitely used youtube thumbnails of guides to see what kind of situation I needed to get my snakebirds to halfway into the level so I could work my way through from there. This game isn’t gentle at all, recommended if you like brainbreakers.

Sonic Generations

Like Sonic Adventure 2, this game feels janky and a little broken, but still manages to be a great deal of fun to play. I actually finished it to 100%. Contrary to popular opinion, I found the Modern Sonic levels to be better overall than Classic Sonic, but they’re both good. Some of the bonus challenges were bollocks (screw you Vector The Crocodile!!!!). The soundtrack though, hoo boy, Sonic games never fail to provide an excellent soundtrack and this one plays with the nostlagia of the older games but does enough of its own thing to be worthwhile in its own right. This rearrangement of City Escape made its way to my playlist.

Sonic Lost World

Aaarrrrrrgggghhhhhh… there’s so much in this game that could be SO COOL. There are so many great ideas and genuinely awesome fun gameplay hooks that are wasted in this game. It’s not at all BAD, but it’s frustrating to play it. I really enjoy the cutscenes between levels, they have some funny moments and good writing. I just… I want to like this game, the snowball level is smart, the under-ocean railgrinding level is so much fun, but for every great moment there’s another enemy or death pit hidden just out of view, or wonky wall-jumping section, or gameplay mechanic that is actually just broken (it’s a Wii U port and there’s one special power that utilised the second screen to play a sort of rhythm minigame- rather than replace it, they just removed the minigame altogether and you can spam the button as fast as you like with no rhythm consideration and it BREAKS). Soundtrack, again, is the saving grace.

Starfox 64

Childhood fave, its still the best Starfox has ever been. Great fun arcade-style into-the-screen shooter, very fast and fluid, branching paths through the game so you can see new levels each time you play. I adore this.

TF2

I think…. I’m at a place where I’m ready to say goodbye to TF2. The changes to matchmaking honestly took everything I enjoyed about the game away, and although the base game is still a lot of fun, it’s just not the same. The new contracts and weapons are enjoyable to play with and I wish Pyro’s jetpack had been added three years ago so I still wanted to master it, but it feels like an old friend whose path has diverged from my own now.

still not interested in overwatch though lol

TMNT

The SNES one, another co-op with Ruu. This one was his pick as I’ve never played it before! It was definitely fun- I feel like I didn’t really have much clue what I was doing but the combat is satisfyingly crunchy and enemies crumble in an enjoyable way. But, damn, what a rocking soundtrack!

Touhou 16

I will say I liked TH15 more, but this one is a great time. I actually liked the Extra stage better than the main game (complete opposite to TH15 whose Extra stage was balls). In terms of the main game, there’s really no reason not to use the Summer power- the others might have Releases that clear the screen or make your shots stronger, but only the Summer power lets you Release a single Option at a time. Losing all your Options every time you release is just too crippling, plus you then can’t do it again for a long time afterwards. Extra’s a blast though, with the backwards-facing shot making you play in unconventional ways.

Unreal Tournament

I had this on another of these lists, but when I got my new PC I wanted to test something. 200 bots on Hall Of Giants, all with instagib rifles. It ran smooth as silk and was complete and utter chaos. Great fun!

Wonderboy 2

Master System version, for reference. This is one of the very first games I ever played, many moons past. It’s still fun, but the decision to include the timer from the arcade version is baffling. The final boss is a little bit BS and game over means start from the beginning. I dunno if I’d recommend it to a newcomer, but if you’re used to the foibles of retro games it’s a good one.

Ys 1 and 2

Played through these again while on midgi’s laptop. The second game is much much better, but they’re kinda two halves of one whole so you need to put up with the first game to get to the second. The maps are confusing, but the combat is fun. Soundtrack is the reason to stay.

–

That’s my lot of the year! Let me know if I played anything you played and you disagree with my opinion or you have any recs for 2018!

#BBs Retro/Gaming/VGM/Etc Culture Tag #BBs Do A Thing Tag

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thegeminisage · 6 years

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More Zeldablogging

this game keeps on giving i am So Blessed

spoilers for the first section of the champions ballad DLC beyond

so when you turn on the game zelda speaks to you and whenever she speaks to you im normally filled with awe? but i had on the Dumbest lookin outfit

BACK TO THE SHRINE OF RESURRECTION

oh my god what the SHIT is that??

IS THAT A WEAPON

it looks like midna's head

smh my weapon stash if full lmao

the game is judging me.

OH GOD IM DYING IS IT GONNA KILL ME

oh my GOD

i'll die in ONE HIT? i also one-hit KO everybody else but.

i mean. thats it for me i cant do this lmao

time for stealth mode i am straight up ghosting this bitch

i...can't see the enemies. like i'm at the dot but

BAD. WALKED RIGHT INTO A CAMP FULL OF THEM. BAD BAD

stressful

ok so this thing days it charges twice over a certain period of time and im like seriously i can only use it twice every few hours? but no it's like nearly instant so thats better

i'm still in the middle of a camp but the lost woods fog is going on so i can't fucking see shit, also in the afternoon the setting sun makes it hard to see my tv lol

got up to a high point to look around because i've been playing too much dishonored. was immediately spotted and nearly killed. i'm not kidding the arrow missed me by a fucking INCH

most of this combat consists of me running from the enemies and then spamming attack while panicking and praying that i hit them once they become unavoidable

ic annot find the last enemy. did i get them all. the dot is still there

ok i'm just gonna move on to a new dot

LIZALFOS I HATE LIZALFOS

maybe i can snipe them

hey i'm a dumbfuck maybe i can use my MAGIC MASK THAT MAKES ENEMIES NOT ATTACK ME

aaaaand i'm dead. got over confident

i saw bees and explsive barrels and rocks. i can do this. i can

ah i missed having to take enemy camps out via strategy :')

new idea: snipe them from afar with bomb arrows i have like 70

BAD BAD BAD I WOKE UP A GUARDIAN WHY IS THERE A GUARDIAN HERE??????

ok hid from the guardian, it deactivated, never going over there again, bye

i got like nearly all of them and then got the bright idea to throw a barrel, got too close, and died :)

:))))))

ah, i can't push the boulders, they hear me ):

death count: 983745693845

lmao i HATE lizalfos like they DO NOT stand still long enough for you to hit them with anything, even the OP one-hit KO weapon :)))))))))))))

killed myself with a bomb arrow lol

i can't get close and i can't do it from far away the arrows dont take enough health so like...hwat the fuck even

WHOA i finally did it and there's like a supershrine thing??? does that mean i missed a bokoblin????

im gonna go back before i do the shrine that is like. profoundly unfair

i wandered all over there lookin for the last one

YEAHAHAH i found it it was hiding waaay up there

ok, into the first shrine

do i seriously have to dodge all these spiky balls with A QUARTER OF A HEART.....

THE SHRINE BALLS ARE SO FAST HOW DOES THIS PIDDLY LITTLE CUP CATCH THEM

ok ok ok

the good news is i can use magnesis on the spiky balls and get those lil shits out of circulation

THEY FUCKING MADE A BREAK FOR IT

THEY KEPT ROLLING TO THE EDGE

i had to like, put them in the little dip top get them to hold still!!! those CVHEATING BASATDRS

WOW I FINALLY GOT THE FIRST BALL AND GOT HIT ON MY WAY BACK

the normal balls hurt too ;_;

oh i got the big one in!

ooh there's a ledgeand a ladder i can get Closer

tried to jump down to the ledge, immediately died

good thing i saved first lmao

IT DIDN'T SAVE MY SHRINE PROGRESS??

im. im.

oh my god

this GAME

oh my god FINALLY

that was HORRIBLE

i got...a spirit orb! huh

does this mean i can max out my hearts AND stamina? because, shit yeah

now to the lizalfos shrine :|

oh......my god

WHAT IS THIS LOL

it's a giant spike pit. oh my god

i can use magnesis to cross but lmao this giant block being tossed to and fro. looks VERY shady

AND NOW GIANT SPIKE WHEELS OF DEATH listen i love this game

oh no. giant spike balls i have to glide past. actually i hate this game

me: oh that wasnt so bad, i see a switch and bars am i done? :D

NOT DONE NOT DONE

oh man i nearly got that last part ):

i have to do it all agaaaain

the initial spike pit has killed me like 7 times.

got past it, and the wall of spikes did me in, BACK TO THE SPIKE PIT

ok this is getting tedious. all this just for one shot at the final bit again...

god i MADE IT!!!! jesus

now for the flying spike balls. again.

m a d e i t

ok no screwups now

YES!!!!!

;A; KASS IS HERE

a beast beyond the divine four omg do i get to pilot a jaeger

i dont have a fucking clue what that song means so im gonna keep doing shrines

third camp was MUCH easier, took out half of them by spamming bmb arrows from above

oh...no

A MAJOR TEST OF STRENGTH....BAD

B A D

its cool i have a one hit KO weapon and ancient arrows which are basically the same thing + my hylian shield its gonna be f i n e

ok cook cant hit it with arrows. cool cool cool wasted 2 of them i only had 6

NICE ok i stunned it with electric arrows & then rushed in for the one-hit KO kill. easy peasy

also it didnt save me losing my arrows :3

there's a switch at the end instead of a monk

oh god is there another one?!

no just a maze of little ones. good.

oh my god there is a THIRD SECTION this goes on FOREVER

AMBUSHED!!! I DIED

i have to do ALL THAT SHIT again

i didnt even save after getting some of the extra chests cause i was sure i was done ):

OMG nice okay it saved me getting the key. good

GREAT, because, i died again

trying to shoot faster than them :/

i guess i should be using my sword more but

they're too far away to rush in the time it would take to figure out how to even GET there

oh god finally

im taking the last of them out from the top of the mountain lmao

god can you imagine if you warped here & forgot to put on cold gear...u would just be dead

theres so many ):

cheesed 'em all, every one! hinox hell island was good for something after all

honestly doing it with bomb arrows was MUCH easier than doing it with my boms :')

omg it's dark in here

time for my SKELETON ARMOR

omg okay that was fun and not horrible

timing puzzles and not-terrifying fights 11/10

noooooo no more one-hit KO trident

OMG

OMG OMG OMG

THIS MUSIC THO

omg am i gonna get to see my old pals!!! im dyin

omg okay im gonna do these in the order i originally did the divine beasts, for symmtery's sake, even tho i'd do it in a different order were i starting over

i'll conclude This Liveblog Post Here & start another

#personal #botw spoilers #botw #loz #loz blogging

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casuallynerdytaco-blog · 6 years

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ten fashion tips for young women with ostomy bags

The big stoma bucket list

after a life crippled by Crohn's and Colitis my 101 stoma bag lady challenge

Ten fashion tips for young women with ostomy bags – my experience so far

So here we go, after just over seven months of living with my temperamental stoma and unplanned fistula here are some of the lessons I have learned concerning looking trendy and feeling confident while living with an ostomy bag. As a young woman finding clothes that fit, flatter and make you feel sexy is hard enough without having to worry about what your ostomy looks like, I’ve found the best way to deal with that is to wear whatever you feel comfortable and confident in.https://www.pinterest.com/powerpoint_templates/game-powerpoint-templates/ If that’s baggy jumpers and sweat pants go for it. But I think the best way is to show off your figure, flaunt what you’ve got, and wear your body with pride…ok, I’ve not braved a bikini yet, so maybe I’m not great a role model but I really don’t think hiding under layers of pyjama-like clothing, or resorting to prison-esk jumpsuits is the way forward. You might disagree, some of this sounds a bit preachy – but give me a chance:

Avoid the “bin liner look” : don’t choose an outfit just because it hides your ostomy bag

If you approach every shopping with the attitude that every outfit has to render your

THE DRESS – I would never have worn this b4 Winnie – she is so much more cool than me

figure unrecognisable just because you have a bag of, well crap, attached to the outside of your body, you will (in my opinion) end up feeling worse than your stoma when you’ve eaten too much high fibre stuff. My tip, don’t hide away. Your body is amazing, you are amazing, and that should be celebrated, not hidden under baggy jumpers and sweat pants. Just because you have an ostomy it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel sexy….in fact I THINK IT MEANS YOU SHOULD FEEL SEXY. If you see something you look damn good in, buy it, wear it out and see how amazing you feel. Try not to worry about if people can or can’t see your ostomy – that’s hard, and I can’t talk – no one can see it just be yourself and you’ll be surprised to learn that no one cares if you have a little lump under your dress. If they’re looking that hard they must like you anyway, or be envious of your show stopping dress.

2. Use your operation as a chance to change your wardrobe : don’t hang on to those body con dresses which will make you feel like crap

In the weeks following my operation I bit the bullet and went through my wardrobe and got rid of all the über skin-tight dresses I knew I wouldn’t feel confident enough to wear again. Yes it was painful, yes I’m not ashamed to say that I cried, but now they’re gone and I no longer have the temptation to stare at them longingly and feel upset, or worse try them on and get upset. I’m not ashamed of my body, and I didn’t get rid of them because I will never wear anything figure-hugging again – I got rid of them because I knew I would no longer feel confident in them or comfortable. And you know what I don’t miss them. Since that day I have changed my sense of style and I still look great, if anything having an ostomy has made me more adventurous with my fashion sense and less like the rest of the crowd in the same Primark body con dress.

3. Try tops which have embellishments, frills and a different shape – so they don’t cling:

I’m not talking Elizabethan style frills, just a few little touches to draw attention away from your bag. You might not feel the need to do this, but I found this helpful when I first started going out following my op. I didn’t want people to see my bag straight-away, I wanted to cover it, so I found having a few little frills or a loose belt worked really well. Also try tops where the waist line flicks out, or floaty shirts, which I’m told by magazines are really “in trend” right now. Even wrap-around tops can work well as the crease covers any bloating easily.

4. Raise the waistline – try high-rise jeans, skirts and dresses with higher waist lines

I always avoided high-waisted garments; to be fair I always thought they looked pretty ridiculous on anyone who wasn’t a six-foot stick thin Victoria’s Secret model. I especially despised (and still do) those high-waist shorts which show more of young girls’ backsides than if they were wearing Bridget Jones’ knickers; you know the ones I mean, the ones that leave nothing to the imagination. Anyway since my operation I’ve had to throw out my well-worn loyal skinny jeans, which rested rather painfully on my stoma, cutting off circulation and causing minor explosions and a lot of discomfort in car journeys, and I’ve fallen in love with high-waisted jeans. Well not all but some amazing petite skinny ones from Next. I searched a long time for them but finally bit the bullet and bought them for £45 but I’m hardly ever out of them. They fit perfectly and totally cover Winnie. With a top tucked in you would never know I had an ostomy – until she swells up, and even then it’s not that obvious. I’ve also found little skirts which have high waists teamed with a cute vest top make a good match, try and get vertical stripes, seems to give the illusion of a tiny waist.

5. Amazing shoes – go to town with your feet:

If your not sure about your outfit, or don’t want to draw attention to your stomach area (and we all have those days) go to town on your feet. Yes, that’s right I’m telling you to go out and get amazing shoes. When I say amazing I mean killer heels, in daring styles and colours. You know those kind of shoes that everyone comments on, the ones that people say “Wow I love your shoes” without even paying attention to your outfit. And it doesn’t have to cost the world, shops like New Look, Next, Primark even, (my favourite Dorothy Perkins) have show stopping shoes which won’t leave you crying and up all night worrying about money.

6. Go daring in the makeup department:

Ready for the Races – THE DRESS

Feeling under the weather or not very confident, I find going bold and bright really helps. Since my op I have started to brighten my mood by wearing bright pink lipstick, painting my nails as often as I can, and really paying attention to my hair and makeup. Ok sometimes I feel like I’m becoming a cartoon character; before my op I wouldn’t have dreamt of wearing bright red lipstick to work or painting my nails all different colours – but it makes me smile and I find it makes people around me happier. Of course always bare in mind what’s appropriate, but if you can always add a bit of colour, you’ll be surprised how much more sexy you will feel.

Ostomy underwear can be ugly (see previous post), but sometimes the hold-it-all-in underwear, no matter how ugly it is, can provide a boost of confidence and a seem free look which can be attractive. Just be aware that if you find yourself in a certain situation (you know what I’m talking about) to dim the lights – most are worse than Bridget’s granny pants when they’ve been put in with a dark wash! Try to get sexy underwear. Wearing it will make you feel better, prettier and happier, especially if you’re having a hard time with your ostomy. I save my granny pants for especially bad days and being at home, but on nights out I like to wear the no VPL high rise pants from M&S. Some people swear by the shaper underwear – you know the underwear that sucks you in – I’ve not tried it so I can’t, but in the right situation I might give it ago.

8. Tights can add extra security and seam free look:

If you have an ostomy it can be hard to hide the lines. At first I was worried wearing tights would make emptying my bag harder, and leave me more prone to explosions and leaks. The opposite has been true. I find wearing tights helps to give me added security holding my bag firmly in place come what may.

9. Always carry a scarf: an amazing tip I’ve picked up along the way

I can’t remember where I saw this, but a fellow ostomate shared this tip on Youtube a while back. Always carry a scarf in your bag. It can be one of those thin fashion scarves, and as pretty as you like, or a full blown scarf in Winter. I always carry a thin one with butterflies on it which is feminine and delicate. Basically the idea is that when your ostomy bag fills up and your a) not ready to empty it, or b) unable to empty it – you whip out the scarf and drape it over your shoulders so it rests where your bag is and covers the area that’s filled up. Sounds too simple to work, but it really does. It’s so simple and adds a touch of class and bohemia to any outfit. Crazy right.

10. Don’t care what people think – you’ll be shocked how little they notice

Shockingly enough hardly anyone will ever notice your ostomy bag. No one will ever know you have one, unless of course you choose to tell them or have a full-blown Marylin Monroe moment while waiting for the bus (has happened to me far too often). Most people wouldn’t say anything if they even noticed. For God’s sake James Bond has walked into bars for years with a revolver down his tuxedo pants and no one has made a crude joke…so why would they notice your ostomy bag. The only way people will is if you keep patting it – a habit I’m trying to stop – and fussing with your outfit. Wear what you want, enjoy fashion, feel confident, you’ve been through hell and back and now its time to start enjoying life….live it.

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9 thoughts on “ Ten fashion tips for young women with ostomy bags – my experience so far ”

Ever since I was small, I always love to be stylish. I really find fashion very interesting. Thanks for this great tip. One of the best sites I always check out is http://www.kellylundberg.co/. They also share a lot of style and fashion tips.

I love the fusion – style tips + iconic people. Perfection. What a beautiful post! ❤

I have always been a girly girl,and now with my stoma, Sally, I am to wear skirts and dresses all the time. I agree w/ your tips for sure. I find peplum style dress also work really well at masking the ostomy and emphasizing the waist. And I may have to look into investing in some undergarments.

good for you 🙂 I have found I am becoming more daring with some of my choices. Be warned that the underwear can be steep, and not all of it is attractive, but if you want support I would recommend Comfizz. It is not pretty but great for working out and for long trips and anything where you think you might want to hold your bag very securely. You can get some of the underwear on prescription, so i would start there xx

I really like your fashion sense and tips. You are lovely.

I think you are fantastic! You are stylish and fun and I loved reading your ideas. I am searching for ideas to help my mum at the moment and was inspired by your cheerful approach.

Thank you so much Karen

The stoma blog roll

Braving a bikini after ostomy operations – what was I so worried about? July 27, 2016

It’s not all about poo – five things about stomas and IBD this #WorldIBDDay May 19, 2016

Getting caught short, why toilets need to be accessible for everyone May 15, 2016

Me and Winnie are back – we are sorry we have been away for so long March 21, 2016

Being on the other side of the hospital curtain – the worry of being a relative January 18, 2016

2015 in pictures: a year of running, love and adventure – with a few hiccups and bruises along the way December 31, 2015

Christmas time with a Stoma – warning it’s rogue nut season December 24, 2015

The story of Winnie so far

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