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libraryofgage · 10 months

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SpiderPool Steddie Part One

So, this is definitely gonna have multiple parts lmao

It's been bouncing around my brain for a while like the Addams Family Steddie AU lol

Anyway, lemme know if you'd like to be tagged for future parts ^_^

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Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls is, at best, a dive bar. At worst, it's a cesspit in which the scummiest people in the city gather to bask in each other's scumminess. To Steve, however, it's the perfect place to collapse after a long patrol, splayed out like a starfish on the roof as the music playing inside vibrates the building itself.

Steve takes a deep breath, setting his bat down next to him before pushing his mask to the bridge of his nose. He then lies down on the roof, wishing not for the first time that the city's light pollution wasn't so bad. Seeing the stars and hunting for constellations would really help him ignore the cracked ribs screaming inside his chest and threatening to break if he even breathes wrong.

All things considered, though, it could be worse. Steve doesn't have any morning classes, Vecna didn't beat him up nearly as bad as he usually does during their fight earlier, and his accelerated healing means Steve will be able to breathe normally by morning. Robin would tell him he has a very low bar when it comes to judging how shitty his life currently is, but she isn't here, so her opinion doesn't matter. Dustin would tell him he should try not getting his ass whooped in the future. Thankfully, he also isn't here, making his opinion as meaningful as Robin's.

Steve closes his eyes, letting his shoulders relax and trying not to think about anything. It sort of works until his entire body suddenly tenses, every nerve on edge and goosebumps shooting across his arms. He shoots up, ignoring the harsh twinge in his ribs as he turns in a crouch and grabs his bat. Steve clenches his jaw, breathing harshly through his nose to keep from groaning in pain, and feels relieved he didn't completely remove his mask completely.

Over by the door leading to a staircase is a guy with ripped jeans, a worn-out shirt with "HELLFIRE CLUB" across the chest, a jean vest covered in patches and pins, and hair pulled back out of his face with a few wavy strands stubbornly escaping his hair tie. He's breathing a little heavily, his face flushed like he's just climbed a few flights of stairs. Actually, he probably has.

"Woah," the guy says, his voice soft enough that Steve would have missed it if not for the enhanced hearing. The guy clears his throat and holds up both hands, showing off a bottle of Jack Daniels in one and a bag with a grease-stained bottom in the other. "Uh, I come in peace. I didn't realize the rooftop was taken."

Steve has no clue what possesses him, but he forces himself to relax and set the bat down. "No, it's okay. I can head out," he says, staying seated despite his words. He's really hoping the guy will insist he doesn't need to; his ribs are still aching like a bitch.

Thankfully, the guy flashes a grin and slowly lowers his hands. "Nah, you're all good. Not every day I get to eat next to a hero. Want some fries?" he asks, walking over and sitting a good two feet away so there's plenty of room between them.

He tears open the bag to create an impromptu plate and puts it between them, the smell of greasy and undoubtedly delicious fries tempting enough that Steve picks up a smaller one and pops it into his mouth. "Thanks. Where are these from?" Steve asks, glancing over as the guy twists the cap of his bottle and takes a swig.

"A burger joint two streets down and one street over. On the corner."

Steve nods, making a mental note of the directions so he can get a burger before swinging home. He's got just enough in his pocket to afford one. "So, got a name?" Steve asks, figuring he's already eating the guy's fries and they're about to spend some time together on this roof. He should know the guy's name.

The guy's grin returns, and he sets the bottle down between them as well. It's tempting, but Steve doesn't trust his alcohol tolerance to hold up while his body is busy fixing his ribs. "Eddie. Do I get to know your name, too?"

Steve snorts and leans away slightly, putting a bit more distance between Eddie and his entirely too-grabbable mask. "Nice try," he says.

"Worth a shot," Eddie says, shrugging as he picks up a few fries. "So, Spider-Man, what brings you to Sister Margaret's? You enjoy the gay metal scene?"

"What's the difference between gay and regular metal?"

"Our hair is better," Eddie explains, dramatically flipping the few strands of hair escaping his tie.

Steve has to hold back a second snort, taking another fry and chewing on it before saying, "I like resting here after patrol. The whole building shakes with the music."

Eddie lights up, his eyes brightening and his back straightening some. "So, you're a fan of Corroded Coffin," he says, taking another swig of the Jack Daniels. It's only now that Steve realizes it's already a quarter of the way gone, and he wonders if Eddie's liver can handle that much alcohol all at once.

"Is that the name of the band?"

"Yep. They play here almost every night."

"I'm guessing you like them, too, then?"

Eddie hums, amusement dancing across his expression now, giving Steve the distinct feeling that there's some secret he simply isn't in on. "They're the best band I've ever heard. Their music is incredible. They really push the boundaries of the genre. And their lyrics? Amazingly layered with at least three meanings per line. I highly recommend actually coming in for a listen one of these days," Eddie says, leaning a little closer to Steve.

A beat of silence passes in which Steve holds Eddie's gaze. Or, he holds the gaze on his end; he's sure Eddie can't actually tell with the mask covering his eyes. "You're in the band," Steve says.

"Lead guitarist and singer, yes. I also write the songs."

"You're incredibly critical of yourself, really grounded in reality."

Eddie barks out a laugh. "I just happen to know my worth incredibly well."

"You have all the confidence of a mediocre white man on a job hunt."

Eddie gasps, placing a hand on his chest as he looks at Steve. "How dare you call me mediocre. I am revolutionary at worst and the second coming at best."

"You know the second coming involves, like, an apocalypse or something, right?"

"I'm Jewish, why would I bother with the fine details?" Well, Steve will give him that. "By the way," Eddie says, gesturing to Steve's bat as he continues, "do those nails actually see any use? Or are they just there to act as a threat?"

Steve looks down at his bat, considering it for a moment before carefully holding the middle and offering the handle to Eddie. Now that he's giving them a few moments of attention, he's realizing the nails embedded in the end are a little rusty and definitely need cleaning. "I try not to be deadly with it, but Vecna's got these lab-grown demon dogs and bats that always manage to break through my webs," Steve explains.

He watches as Eddie takes the bat, weighing it in his hands before shoving his palm into the nails. Steve jerks, a wordless shout escaping his throat as he launches himself over the fries and in front of Eddie. "Are you okay?!" he asks, grabbing Eddie's hand and shakily inspecting the nails sticking through it. Fuck, those are going to be a bitch to get out, and he'll probably have to swing Eddie to the hospital for a tetanus shot.

Being angry doesn't even register in his brain as Eddie laughs. "Don't worry about it, Spidey," he says, pulling his hand off the nails with a slight wince. He wiggles his fingers, letting Steve have a front-row seat to the injuries closing. "See, good as new."

And he's right. The injuries are good as new. In fact, there isn't even any scarring, and Steve almost rips his mask off to take a closer look but stops himself at the last minute. Instead, he grabs Eddie's hand and yanks it closer, turning it over to check his palm, too. "What the fuck?" he asks, looking up at Eddie, still gripping his hand tight.

"Super healing," Eddie explains. "Like, super duper. If I ever get decapitated, just hold my head to my neck, and I'll be right as rain."

"I'd rather not put that claim to the test," Steve says, frowning slightly as he runs his fingers over Eddie's palms, just to make sure the injuries aren't somehow hidden from sight.

"You know, I kissed the last guy who touched my palm like that," Eddie says, leaning in again with that grin.

Suddenly all Steve can think about is how Eddie's lips do look soft. And it has been a while since Steve actually kissed anyone. And he does think Eddie is funny. And he does find himself wondering if his smile will taste like the Jack Daniels and fries. And...and...

And Steve needs to go before he does anything he shouldn't be doing as Spider-Man.

He jerks back, dropping Eddie's hand like it burns, and ignores the ache in his ribs as he grabs his bat and stands. "I, uh, I need to get going. Thanks for the fries, Eddie," he says, hurrying over to the edge of the roof.

"Woah, just gonna eat and run on me, big boy?" Eddie asks, scrambling to his feet and over to where Steve is climbing onto the edge of the roof. "That's not very hero-like of you. You haven't even left me your name or number. How are you gonna pay me back $2.50 for the fries?"

"I had five," Steve says, turning to look at Eddie as he webs his bat to his back and pulls his mask down over his chin.

"The economy sucks, man."

Okay, he's got Steve there. Again. "Nice try, Eddie."

"Can you blame a guy? Your ass looks great in that spandex."

Steve is suddenly relieved his mask is back down, covering the furious blush spreading across his cheeks. He'd think it was just a joke, but the sincere and somewhat goofy smile tugging at Eddie's lips tells him it's more genuine than anything else. "Thanks," Steve says, giving Eddie a two-finger salute before taking a step back off the roof.

He shoots a web at the edge of the building, using the momentum to swing around the corner. His ribs are killing him with the movement, but he still manages to throw a, "See you later, Eds!" over his shoulder before he's completely out of earshot.

Later, Steve will wonder how Eddie got his super healing, if he's that flirtatious with every guy he meets on the roof of Sister Margaret's, and if he'll be there the next time Steve swings by. But that's for later. For now, he's just enjoying the breeze rushing over him and thinking about Eddie's eyes and his smile and his long fingers.

#Steddie #Spiderpool Steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #spiderman steve harrington #deadpool eddie munson #it'll make sense i promise #also Eddie goes back into the bar and immediately starts bragging about flirting with spider-man #everyone immediately knows he's about to become Annoying (TM)#and resign themselves to their fate #Robin does the exact same when Steve gets home and tells her about Eddie #RIP everyone who has to live with these two gushing about each other

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hoshi-y · 1 year

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WAIT I DIDNT KNOW YOU ADDED SUMIRE 🥹💖 I KNOW I MADE A REQUEST BUT IGNORE IT (so sorry 😭) Can I request Sumire, Kou, Mitsuba, and Yashiro (hopefully that’s not too much) with a S/O that’s like Power?

(Take your time and have a nice day/night ^^)

S/O that acts like Power from Chainsaw Man

Genre : Fluff

Characters : Akane Sumire, Minamoto Kou, Mitsuba Sousuke, Yashiro Nene

TW : None

A/N : So sorry that it took me awhile to make your request, I tend to avoid things that are a bit difficult for me hehe, I could tell you really wanted me to do your request already so here it is

Just a bit of a warning, I can't guarantee that the personality and attitude will be the same but I'll try my best

I hope you enjoy 💗

Powers Personality :

Childish

Greedy

Rude

Entirely self-motivated

Cares for a select of friends

Has severe PTSD (Afraid of being alone)

Feels that people should clean up after her

Often claims she is capable of doing things she cannot actually do

No problem with gossiping and talking about her friends behind their back

Compulsive habitual liar

That's all the info I can find about her personality

Liar liar pants on fire

You were an absolute HANDFUL to watch over.

You'd sometimes run away creating minor trouble

I mean you blew up the science lab I don't know where minor came from.....

In your excuse, you thought you could do it—

After you met Kou, your life just turned a full 180

He would follow you everywhere

Making sure you don't get hurt

But mostly to keep you out of trouble

It was driving you nuts! You couldn't skip class to chase butterflies anymore

It was hard since both of you were in the same year

But you did found out something about him

He was very gullible.

You grumbled as Kou was pulling you back to his and his friends lair, it wasn't too bad around them, you just didn't wanna help clean up that stinky bathroom—

You had to escape. And fast

"Koouuu... I don't like it in theerree.." You whined, He didn't budge which made you click your tongue. And an idea came to mind.

"Kou, I just got a text from my mom saying that.. My dog died.." You put up your best sad acting in hopes he would fall for it, and he did. He stopped in his tracks as he looked back at you "What?! Toshiba died?!"

Kou absolutely LOVED your pet dog, he would use all types of excuses to swing by

You nodded your head sadly "Mom wants me back home so we can bury him.." Kou gently let go of your hand as he sighef softly "I'll swing by to say my goodbyes to Toshiba.." As soon as he gave your backpack back, you had a cheeky smile on your face

"Thanks!! Bye!!" You ran

"H-HEY. GET BACK HERE!!"

You were too fast for Kou, eventually he just gave up. He has to stop being so gullible

Ugh how dare you call me ugly!

Everyone envied you for your clear ang glowing skin

Anyone would need sunglasses it was that clear

Everyone wanted your secret but you didn't budge

Why? well you just wanted to be the only one with fair skin

Amongst those in tge ctowd wanting your skincare routine

A pink haired gentleman also wanted a grasp at your secret

I mean how can he keep being cute with such flaky skin?!

So he pulled you aside to ask but you were a bit too hard headed

Mitsuba groaned as he held on your arm "Come on! Just one product that you use and I won't bother you anymore!" He begged but you went silent pretending he wasn't there

"HEY. I KNOW YOUR IGNORING ME" Mitsuba yelled

You checked your phone time and continued to pretend he wasn't there. "What about this, I'll buy you WHATEVER you want, for just one product"

"Mud"

"Mud Mask?!" His face lightened up as he was probably the first you told your super secret fbi skincare

"Yeah, its good for the pigs skin after all"

Mitsuba gasped "How DARE you call me a pig! Look at yourself first skeleton!" He fired back

"Oh yeah Barbie?"

Mitsuba didn't wanna back down as he soat all sort of names at you

But you won, obviously

He pushed you out of their classroom as Kou, Satou and Yokoo witnessed the entire thing.

We're you grown on soil?

When Yashiro first met you, her first impression of you was that you were pretty Childish

Not that she hated it, She absolutely adored it

For.... some odd reason....

The way you act and talk like a child

You were so cute in her eyes!

but of course we know that every child is super curious of things right?

Well you started asking a bunch of nonsense to Yashiro

Like, how do fish swim, how do cars work

"Does tinkerbell exist?" Stuff like that

She sometimes questions how you got in the Rank 3....

"Nene-chaann~" You cooed as she stopped shoveling and looked at you "Uwaahh [F/N]! I thought you went home already?" She dropped her shovel and took off her gloved and walked up to you

"I got you an Ice Pop!" You gave her the green colored one as you ate the purple one "Thanks [F/N]! I was needing something to cool me down"

You scanned the field and noticed a bunch if holes she was digging, what was she gonna do? was she gonna plant? look for worms? DIG TO ANOTHER COUNTRY?

Or... Is she gonna plant her legs?

"Nene-chan, are you gonna plant your legs in their?" Yashiro coughed as she almost dropped her ice pop "W-WHAT?! I-I'M NOT!!"

"Ehh?? Isn't that how you got your daikon legs?"

Yashiro crumbled on the spot as she looked like she was needing any god out there to take her

After that, Yashiro forced you to go home as you watched her sulk from afar

I can do it see?! ahh.. Nevermind...

Sumire always enjoyed your company, and your help

Despite you fucking up every now and then she appriciates the company

Sometimes she'd tell you not to force yourself to do something you couldn't do but you never listen

Your excuse??

"I can do it don't worry! I'm a pro at this"

You ended almost burning the food, or knocking down something

So she just lets you stay back at home

You were one of Sumire's servants, although she didn't treat you like a servant

She treated you more like a friend now.

Sumire and Hakubo watched from a far as you messed up picking up flowers. You were pulling them by the stem and not digging to get the roots and ended up having a very withered out flower

"Are they dumb?..." Hakubo deadpanned as you continued to pluck withered out flowers, Sumire giggled as she placed down her tea cup and walked up to you to help

You saw her from the corner of your eyes walking up to you but you were signaling her not to come, but she did anyways. "Your flowers are withered now [L/N]"

You pouted "I said I could do it.."

"You clearly can not, here let me teach you how to harvest flowers" Sumire smiled at you

For the rest of the afternoon, she taught you how to pick up flowers, and make flower crowns. You've mastered them by now with the guidance of Sumire.

Now that she's gone, the only thing you could do without messing up

Was making flower crowns.

I caved

IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG 😭😭😭, I also apologize if I the personality does not match up, I really dunno who Power is LMWODHWUD

#toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #tbhk x reader #jshk #tbhk #Yashiro Nene #mistuba sousuke #kou minamoto #sumire akane

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bunbeeplays · 3 months

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The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 30 - Now and Zen

Ophelia signs her Tartosa friends up for a 6 AM yoga class at a spa in a neighboring town and, because they're the best friends on earth, they agree to go. They've got the Pizzazz wedding gig coming up, so they need to be in the zone!

Ophelia has a little more experience than her friends.

Drew is a pretty confident person, but they're not confident they won't fall flat on their face during some of these moves.

Instructor: Just follow at your own pace.

Moses: If I was at my own pace, I'd still be in bed.

Being ambitious, Ophelia sometimes struggles when she's not automatically the best at something.

Ophelia: Must… be zen… even if… it kills me.

Moses: muttering Or us. Ow!

They're all really good at child's pose, at least.

Despite not being the best at it yet, they do have to admit that they enjoyed themselves. Maybe Ophelia was right, this wellness stuff could do them all some good.

Ophelia: Oh, what now? Face mask or workout?

Drew: Uh, wasn't the whole point of this to relax?

Ophelia: Self-improvement IS relaxing!

Ophelia is efficient and decides to go with a face mask AND a workout.

Ophelia: You're a strong, confident woman. You have great friends here and in Willow Creek. The awkwardness with Libby will pass someday. Right now, focus on being the best you! You're gonna kick life's ass!

Xander: What up, Casper? Drew: Haha. I need a mask, and a drink, to make me forget how tired I am. Ophelia's self improvement kick is great and all, but that yoga class kind of kicked my ass. Moses: Don't act like you also didn't click yes to that Wellness liking popup

Xander: Should we be concerned? Seems like she's hardly let herself have a free moment since the break up.

Drew: I think Ophelia's just like that, dude.

Moses: You know how ambitious Sims are, mate. Keeping busy is how they cope.

Xander: I guess you're right.

Xander can't help but interrupt her boxing.

Xander: Come on, Lemon Cake. Time to take five. Don't want to wear yourself out for tomorrow. Ophelia: I don't want to. Xander: What if I said please real cute like with this face? Ophelia: I'd say no, real ugly like with this face.

Xander: I might have to start calling you Sour Lemon with that mean mug.

That gets Ophelia to cut the act and let out a laugh.

Xander: I knew you couldn't resist! No one can resist this face!

Ophelia: Shut up! Fine, I'll take a break, you dork. Let's check out the pool.

Before they can swim…

Xander: Listen, you're doing okay, right?

Ophelia: Why wouldn't I be?

Xander: You've got the garden you told us about and all this wellness stuff you're getting into. That's great and all, I just want to make sure you're not using it as a distraction.

Ophelia: Distraction? Xander: I know some Sims throw themselves into new projects to distract themselves when life gets rough. I know that because I'm one of those Sims. If you need someone to talk to, we're here for you if it's too weird to talk to your other friends about.

Ophelia: I appreciate it Xander, but I'm really just trying to better myself. Two of my friends had a baby recently, and it really put things into perspective. There's so much I want to do before, and after, I have kids, so I'm trying to become the future mom my kids deserve

Xander: If my parents and Hilary had your wellness knowledge, they would have probably had an easier time dealing with me as a kid.

Ophelia: Ha!

Xander: For what it's worth, I think you'd be a great mom now, but you've got plenty of time to get even better.

Ophelia: Thanks.

Ophelia: One thing about me, when I get knocked down I don't stay down for long.

Xander: That makes one of us. When things ended with my last partner-

Ophelia: Oooh, I'm getting some exclusive Xander Lore?

Xander: Not anymore, Lady Interrupts-A-Lot.

Xander may be a goofball, but he's clearly a good guy, as well. Ophelia's glad she has someone like him in her corner.

I didn't manage to get screenshots of it but she stole two things during the time she was at this spa. Look at her smug face. You can't keep getting away with this forever, young lady!

#The Sims #The Sims 4 #The Sims 4 Legacy #The Lemon Legacy #TS4 #The Sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 #generation 1 #ophelia #xander #drew #moses

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justatalkingface · 1 year

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Breadth and depth.

You know, I was going to talk about the villains, but I realized it was going to bleed into this if I didn't get this off my chest, so... await that another time, I guess.

As time has passed more and more people are starting to call Hori a bad writer, and... I'm not sure they're wrong, but I don't think that's right, either. My Hero, for all of its flaws, is huge. If Hori was a bad writer, it never would have gotten this far.

What I've come to realize is that Hori is... for lack of a better word, an incomplete writer.

Let me explain.

First off, yes, I realize the manga isn't over yet. That's not point. When something in the story reaches a certain point in it's arc, a climax, big dramatic moment, whatever, there has to be build up. Let's look at AFO's big Kaminio intro, for example.

Hori didn't just throw AFO at us, he built up to that moment. First, he introduced him, with All Might and the face in the TV directing Tomura. But after that All For One kept showing up, and that's the crucial bit. It wasn't all big things, most of it was some plotting or sinister laughing here, or some teasing shapes in the TV screen there, but it reminded us, the audience that, A, AFO existed, B, that He Was Important, and C, we should really be afraid of him.

Then he showed up in Kamino and that build up? All the time Hori spent subtle reinforcing AFO's brand in our mind? It payed off in spades. All For One was epic. He was menacing. He dominated the scene.

All For One's intro was a great example of build up, A++, Hori hit that out of the park. The problem is that that is one of the few examples of build up done well. Honestly, Hori, for whatever reason, seems to have a lot of problem with that. I don't know why; maybe he can't focus, maybe it's lack of interest, maybe it's that unholy Japanese work schedule you hear so much about, but the fact of the matter is he flubs it more than he pulls it off.

In fact, I'd go so far to say that most of the things people criticise about his writing, ballpark of a good... 70% of everything before the War Arc (because that's where everything went to shit), is because of that.

Here's where I go back to my title though, breadth and depth. In general, breadth is about how broad your understanding of something is, how many topics you know about, while depth is about how deep your understanding is, how much you know about a topic.

For the purposes of this rant, these both apply to world building and character development, AKA how much of it there is, and how deep does it go.

The thing is? Breadth wise, Hori is golden. He, in the span of one chapter, introduced the audience to a wide, fascinating world that instantly grabbed the audience's attention, with vast room to build up off it in all sorts of directions. Depth, though, depth is what is holding him back.

Let's analyze a bad example of build up with that in mind: the mutant discrimination mob Spinner... thing. Yeesh. I'm going to burn two bridges with one torch and go over this, and rant about how shit it was, while also proving my point.

Interestingly enough, Hori had the start of this from as early as the first day of class: Shoji and his mask, who was afraid of scaring people with his face. It was a small mention, not big enough to disrupt the narrative but enough to be a good start of it.

Think of it as a seed. Hori sowed a lot of seeds in MHA early on; almost everything, even in the later arcs, probably has something somewhere that implies it was possible in the first... what, twenty chapters or so?

Hori sowed a lot of seeds, but he never watered them, though. We had Shoji, and we had Gang Orca (and oh, he had some potential, he did, but let's wait a bit before we go back to him), but after that? Mutant racism never came up again. The closest we've seen about that, really, until that mantle was shoved onto Spinner as Hori frantically backtracked, was if anything Shoto insulting that police chief. He called him a dog, I think? I've seen people bringing that and Dabi being a dick to Spinner as proof that the Todorokis, probably via Endeavor, are racists, but...

...Did the police chief care? Because if that was Shoto being racist, you'd think he be upset about that. He wasn't though, because back then, that wasn't actually a thing. Shoto was just being rude because he was upset. Dabi.... let's be honest, Dabi's kind of a dick in general. Him insulting Spinner really wasn't anything speical.

See, that's the thing: if you want to harvest your seeds, if you don't want them to die, you need to water them. More than that, you need to water them regularly. Hori didn't do that for the mutants, just as he didn't for so many other things; there was no depth to them.

So, when Spinner lead an angry army of mutants, we, the audience, weren't swept up in the narrative. We didn't feel for the poor oppressed people, or feel conflicted as the heroes faced them.

We wondered where the fuck that came from, because that wasn't a thing before.

Character wise, look at Shoji. We had that mask thing, but again, his big, overarching trauma wasn't a thing. He retroactively opened to his classmates about his horrible childhood, there were tears, apologies... all in a fucking flashback.

If that, if any of this, was something Hori had planned out, then he would of, or should of, anyways, have been hinting about for years now. We should have seen build up for this, and it wouldn't have been that hard. Shoji is afraid of showing his face; good, show that. Tell us, the audience, that it's there, and why.

Mutants are oppressed? Where? Where do you tell us about this? Where do we see it? Is it in the internships, when they patrol on the streets? Because that would have been a great time to start demonstrating that.

Remember Gang Orca? He's a high ranking hero, and he scares children because he's a scary mutant. He hates that, because he loves children. He's a mutant in a high level of power, when that should be hard for him. Here's something that I came up with a while ago, as a sort of primer introduction about the mutant thing: in the same way Hawks takes Tokoyami as his intern for being bird like, Gang Orca should have interned Shoji, and Koji, if he's part of all this, because they're mutants.

It would have been great for world building and character development; Orca could have explained how mutants have a hard time in the media oriented hero industry, that a lot of them end up as underground heroes due to lack of sponsors, how he struggled to get where he is now, and he that makes a habit of trying to help fellow mutants get off the ground in heroics. Then Shoji and Koji could have opened up about their experiences, which would have built up their characters, and given Hori an easy way to introduce both the characterization and world building to 1-A as a whole.

I came up with this idea after about ten minutes of trying to word how frustrated the Spinner hospital bullshit made me last month. How long has Hori had to prepare for this moment again?

So yeah, this mutant thing is incomplete. Hori's trying to collect the payoff for something that isn't there yet, because he never built up to it, the same way he did with the traitor, with Nighteye's death, with Mirio getting his powers back, with almost every character he's ever made.

Hori is an incomplete writer, who just doesn't finish one step in the process before he moves on to the next, and that's why everything he's trying to build keeps falling down around him.

And it's why My Hero Academy is a field filled with seeds left to die.

#mha critical #bnha critical #gang orca #there are probably official terms for some of these concepts #yeah I don't know what those are #so I'm using my own words #I'm mad with power

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wevelocityteampresents-blog · 8 months

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SEPTEMBER 24TH

I almost lost my concentration today. I'm glad I managed to get my act together.

Since I started using Yahoo! Japan, I suddenly noticed how better it was than the international version. I can't say much right now. But it's definitely the better alternative to Google. (They even managed to keep the Yahoo! logo after 20 years! Unlike the minimalistic design of its international cousin...)

In Pokémon Violet, I managed to escape the cave and fly back to Moussi Town.

Kieran and Carmine's family must be rich if they have so many nuggets behind their grandparents' house. What's not so rich is that Kieran ran off with the Teal Mask. So I went off to find him.

Do the farmers in this area know that giant crystal caverns with dangerous Pokémon grow in their crops overnight? I don't think the ogre is the only thing they should be worried about.

After I found Kieran, he challenged me to a battle and wasn't taking it as lightly as he did before.

After I beat him, he punched the shrine. And I WISH I managed to get a screenshot of that. (It probably isn't as cool as Dr. Eggman punching a crater into a wall of ice.) That punch didn't just look strong but was enough to reawaken the legendary Pokémon.

That's the thing I'd least expect a Pokémon like that to say.

After that, they all ran off to the festival site. I could've chased them down. But my study time was in a few hours. So, I stopped for the day. I expected Nurse Joy to say her usual lines. But she instead gave me a new pose.

This has to be the dumbest pose I've ever seen... I still had some time left. So, I participated in a few wonder trades. It was a good thing I did because I actually got something good out of it.

A shiny Pokémon that was obtained legitimately. Most of the ones I get in wonder trades (that aren't done in Pokémon HOME or Pokémon Brilliant Diamond) are always hacked by some website. I'm glad this one was the real deal. Goes to show that these wonder trades ARE worth it.

SEPTEMBER 26TH

I finally managed to redesign an old character of mine! The new changes to his design and personality should really win over some new fans. I should work on the other character first, though...

Aside from that, I finished working on a new page for my website! The only thing it needs now is a header image.

In Pokémon Violet, I sat back and relished in the townspeople's stupidity for nurturing the legendary Pokémon to full health.

I chased after them and had to fight against Munkidori.

It was a good thing I used Braixen for this fight because Munkidori helped improve her Special Attack.

Soon after the others had caught up with me, I was told to head back to town to gain information on the legendary Pokémon. I also gained the ability to walk Ogerpon and any other Pokémon.

I set up a picnic to feed Ogerpon after the nasty encounter she had a few minutes ago.

But she doesn't join you for picnics... (She also seems to prefer watching me battle from the sidelines.)

SEPTEMBER 27TH

I'm trying to practice with a specific program so I can better understand one of my classes. I'd say I'm doing a great job so far. (I just wish some of the stuff from the later chapters were put into the one I'm reading. They seem very simple compared to the things I'm learning right now.)

Besides that, I'm also getting back to doing more things with Pokémon Stadium 2. I'm mostly messing around in Earl's Pokémon Academy so I can increase my understanding of Pokémon battles. (Or, at least, the battle mechanics of the GS series.)

Even though Naomi says she'll start off with Murkrow before using Ghost Pokémon, there may be a chance she'll use Magcargo instead. (You can see it for yourself here.) A cunning way to embrace players for the real world of Pokémon battling.

I didn't actually get to do that much in Pokémon Violet today since I was too occupied with schoolwork. But that didn't mean I didn't run into any interesting stuff.

After discovering the legendary Pokémon's whereabouts, I was forced to meet with Ogerpon on the outskirts of town.

Considering she's been out in the open for so long, it's a miracle nothing bad happened to her. I chose Munkidori as my first target since I needed a stat boost for Braixen.

There is no way a creature like that can be so wise.

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agallimaufryofoddments · 1 year

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For those of you who are also slow on the uptake, Chapter(?) 3 of the Baccano! ~from the 1700s~ manga released on January 25. The best time for us to buy it was release day, but buying it is better late than never. As always, (the prospect of) new Baccano! media depends on consumer support.

Buy it despite DMM's "DMN" DRM, for we have no choice.

On the one hand, I hate DRM. On the other, if selling this manga via a DRM-strict retailer/platform succeeds in making people purchase it when they would have otherwise tried reading it for free, then. Fine. FiNe.

Remember to rate each installment. I think it's possible to do it without leaving a review: read the chapter in your browser, click the star on the end page, then click five stars on the review input form that pops up. It seems to save my five star rating even when I navigate away from the form. Leaving reviews themselves wouldn't hurt, unless...they're in English...probably. Do you think we could get away with leaving machine-translated ones? How many strangely-written reviews would it take to sound the 'overseas purchaser' alarm?

Edit: Or maybe not. The ratings I ‘gave’ aren’t reflecting on the listings for 2 and 3. Maybe a review is necessary after all.

Chapter 3 reactions under the cut.

Looks like this depicts parts of LN11 Interlude II and Chapter 4. I did have to manually transcribe some of the dialogue. This took way more time than I can afford.

The opening scene depicts the killing of the 28th victim/witness, an aristocrat named Lord/Sir Alonso. This must be the murder that Larolf reports to Esperanza in the latter half of LN11 Interlude III? Larolf describes the victim as a "boy" who witnessed the Mask Maker right before Niki did in the novel, but this Sir / Lord Alonso is certainly not a child. Hm...

I believe the bit of Niki we see in this chapter is her telling Esperanza the food is delicious from the beginning of Interlude III. However, the manga seems to be omitting the part where Larolf reports [Alonso's] murder? It shows Niki walking away with a maid, whereas Niki runs away when Larolf makes his report...and there's no moment where Esperanza is angered by the bruise on Niki's face per the LN.

Moreover, am I right that the manga also omits Monica and Elmer's encounter with the bald man and Maiza in Chapter 4? There's no marketplace with children singing the MM song, no bald man, no Maiza...

...but the previous chapters also omitted Elmer's first encounter with Maiza, didn't they? So the mangaka's been deliberately holding off on Maiza's introduction from the start. I guess the manga's going to move the bruise reaction, Larolf's report and the bald man/Maiza-Elmer-Monica encounter to another day? How will that account for Elmer's wound, though, since Elmer doesn't show up to class after being stabbed?

I probably need to reread manga chs. 1–2 and actually take note of what was and wasn't adapted. I should do that anyway, since that would be useful for the wiki.

Okay, some positives...

Larolf depicted! (I only know because he was depicted in Chapters 1–2, so this is a belated celebration of a Larolf Hancletia design. Ch.2 gave us Huey's mother, too.)

Warehouse depicted!

Patisserie lady depicted!

Hey, it's Elmer's room at Esperanza's place!

Elmer wounded! Bandages on Mask Maker's arm are neat.

Monica has a lot of fun expressions. Manga is leaning hard into the classic twitterpated teen girl archetype and her 'tells' (big eyes, blushing), and these do serve the purpose.

Denkurou and Zank (albeit seen, not heard)!

Elmer's back scars...

Some mild complaints:

Zank's body should be as dark-skinned as Zank's head. Did the mangaka forget to color the torso? If this is a lighting thing where Zank's head isn't in range of a light source, then Denkurou's body should reflect that too. It's such a weirdly stark difference in hue that it really looks like a coloring error.

Am I allowed to feel lukewarm about Elmer's design? Maybe the fact that I've never seen Elmer with flat (slicked?) hair is throwing me off (aka it's throwing me off a lot), but there's something about his head's shape as well. The big forehead?　The eyebrows floating halfway up the forehead? The flat hair is contibuting to the forehead's largeness.

To be totally fair, this is gawky teen!Elmer, not adult!Elmer, and Elmer on the LN11 cover does have a rounder face (than adult!Elmer) that I guess the manga is honoring.

And...

Elmer's back scars.

I am whelmed. I guess I've built up my mental image of the scars for so long that probably any illustration is doomed not to meet expectations. It might be unfair of me, but I can't help think that a mangaka could go all out on the scars, since they only have to be drawn for 1—3 panels—honestly, why not just devote a full page illustration to it or one panel that fills most of the page?

Ex: Contain Monica's horrified expression + Huey going ??? to one panel. Overlay that (opt. and the next panel) with a small panel of Huey's face to emphasize Huey actively following Monica's gaze. Thus, rather than showing a Huey!POV of Monica looking at Elmer, you could dedicate one big panel exclusively to Elmer's full back and arms. Go all out.

There, one and done.

Here's the LN description of Elmer's scars for comparison.

Elmer was stripped to the waist, squeezing his clothes out, and his back…

…was covered in scars.

And it wasn’t only his back; uncountable scars covered the parts of his arms that had been hidden by his sleeves.

Currently, not a single wound was bleeding, but if all those scars became wounds again, he couldn’t even imagine how much they would have bled—

That was how mutilated Elmer was.

He might have had even more scars than Huey’s mother had in his memories of her.

They weren’t just cuts. There were marks as if something had been used to gouge out divots of flesh, and an enormous burn that covered the top half of his back. Not only that, but the burns appeared to be covering countless more scars.

Where's the enormous burn? Those scars are pretty countable. I see plenty of unmamrred skin. Yep, I'm nitpicking now. Please give my apologies to the mangaka; my expectations were simply too high. Ultimately, I am grateful that Elmer's scars have finally been depicted in an official publication.

(Quick! Enami! Draw Elmer shirtless as a 20th anniversary treat!)

Defying Description

Esperanza

#Baccano!#Baccano #Baccano! ~From the 1700s~#inexqueuesable #February 11th 2023 #Author: Rev #queueing and hoping it doesn't publish until I'm back because I might have more to add #Post: Text #11th #February #2023

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cerberuscaeli · 2 years

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I just need to rant, it will be unter the cut, so you can just ignore it if you don't want to read it. But also a quick thing, my next fic will be either an Xiao or Childe fic (or maybe Kaeya? Let me know which character you would prefer.) And will be a pretty self indulgant fic bc I need it. It'll be a bit angsty with some comfort, but I just need to figure out which char I want to pair up with. It will be about a reader that has difficulties sitting still and normally doesn't really get bothered by it until someone says something about it and reader gets insecure and the paired character being sweet and all comforting etc. ♡

Rant under the read more button. (You can just scroll away if you don't want to read it.)

I'll add dates to it to make it a bit clear.

Anyways, so thursday 16 June I had to let a CT scan taken for my lower jaw. I have a wisdom teeth that is growing wrongly and they needed pictures for the operation because the wisdom teeth is near a nerve and if it goes wrong I can lose feeling in my lower lip.

So, I am someone that cannot lay still or sit still. I always need something in my hands to fumble with, wether it is when I am walking, or when in class, if I don't have anything in my hands to fumble with I keep bouncing my legs or just keep changing positions I am sitting in.

Anyways, so I had to take that scan and needed to lay still for it. It normally doesn't take long. I had to do it 3 freaking times!! The first time the iron piece of my mask was on it so they had to take it away. Second time I apparantly swallowed when the picture got taken, swallowing also got count as movement (and the entire time I tried to lay still, but I kept getting twitches in my legs and head from forcing myself to lay still.)

So, the doctor taking those scans walked up to me, placed my head back right and I tried to keep the sticks in my mouth but not biting on it. (Idk why they gave me sticks to put under my teeth, probably to get a certain angle of my jaw.) And well I was already starting to panic, tears welling in my eyes but the doctor would tell me when I could swallow and when not.

So 3rd round finished and she told me I was done and did well and I once again told her I found it very difficult bc I can't lay still. Anyways, it was done and I could go home.

Friday 17th June we got a call from the hospital apparantly I had also moved on the 3rd!! round of taking the scan picture, I bursted out in crying!! I tried so hard to lay still only to hear it wasn't good and the soonest I could take a new scan would be end June.

So, I was in tears so my mom called around mainly to ask if I still could get my wisfom teeth get removed. Even when it would be just 1 or 2 out of those 4. They told me they would call back on Monday, June 20. My operation is supposed to be on Wednesday June 22.

My wisdom teeth have been hurting like a bitch since November 2021, we got me a dentist appointment somewhere on January 2022, and I got a scan in April and got the operation planned for this month. (For that scan I had to olace my chin on a holder and then the devide would turn around me. I once again had a hard time keeping my head still and to not move.)

And in the whole meantime the communication between the hospital and us sucked as fuck. They had papers for the CT scan but we didn't know anything about it!

Anyways, back to today (June 17.) I made an appointment with my doctor, luckily being able to go today and we told about everything that happened and how annoying and insecure it all made me. We talked about what it could be, if it could be of my medication I take for my epilepsy or if we should test me on ADHD, but then my doctor went all sweet!!

She asked me what I would get if I took the test and I said "Just a label," where she responded on that I said that well and she told me that I was just me. That those ticks (she called it them) were a part of me. That it is who I am and no one should say differently and that it was wrong from the hospital to act like that etc. And that it doesn't matter if I am a more of a restless or nervous person because that is what makes me 'me', and she for sure boosted my confidence back up, I'm so gratefull for that!!

Of course it still haunts me and is literally keeping me awake, even though my doctor is totally right, my ticks are a part of me. Not being able to sit still is a part of me. It's who I am. But well, knowing that it did mess up the 3 tries of the scan still weighs heavily on me.

I just hope the operantion can happen as I have been going through hell with the pain for months. I even took antibiotics twice! I'm just so done with it and just needed to get it off my chest.

So, lots of cookies to anyone that readnit ♡♡

#genshin impact x reader #childe x fem!reader #childe x reader #rant post #kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader #kaeya x fem!reader #xiao x reader #xiao x fem!reader #childe tartagalia #tartaglia x fem!reader #one shot #genshin x reader

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pbandjesse · 1 year

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I apparently should not have worn my heart sunglasses in my photo today because I broke them. I cursed them by wearing them in the picture.

It was only mostly my fault. I let one of the little kids wear up today, someone stepped on them, they got bent, I tried to unbend them, dropped them, they broke. It's not the end of the world. I have white ones that I can wear if I really want to. And I have other sunglasses. But it was frustrating on top of an already kind of stressful day.

I slept okay last night. But waking up was hard. It was nice and I got to see James even if it was briefly. And I got ready to go. James made cinnamon buns so I have something to eat while I walked and honestly I felt pretty good.

I have a cut on the one foot and it just made my entire foot hurt and then just both balls of my feet so like very very sore. No idea why. I did my best to power through but by the afternoon it's definitely hitting me hard.

Man I was so excited to see the kids today. I got to get the flamingos. Which is my favorite class. And it was just a good day. But they had recently stopped masking at school and basically everyone is getting sick. Half the class was out. And while I enjoy a smaller class it definitely was a problem. And by the end of the day we would lose two more.

I got to draw with the kids for a while and they always love when I make them stuff to color. We had morning circle and snack. I marveled at how well the other teachers can't control the classroom. Because while I'm pretty good at it they just have this air about them that makes them really listened to and I am just really impressed every time. And after snack We had journal time and watch the little video about flowers. And I worked on my embroidery for a bit. And then we got ready to go outside.

And outside was great. But something keeps happening where a child will ask me if they can do something and it seems pretty innocuous to me so they go to do it and then another I don't yells at them because apparently it's breaking a rule that I didn't know about. And then I feel really bad. And I told the kids that we got in trouble because it feels like I'm in trouble too. But it's fine. And once we got to the playground everything was going really good. I played with a couple of the little kids and then was on the playground itself with some of the bigger kids. And then some of the bigger kids asked if I could open up the monkey bar area. Basically just be in charge of watching that spot. I asked Brad one of the other teachers if that was okay and he said yes but that because they don't have an open all the time a lot of kids are probably going to come over. And I was like that's fine I don't mind.

I went over and one girl went on and she a great one all the way to the end no problem and then poor Ellie tried to jump to catch the bar and missed and slammed into the ground. And got mulch up her nose! And I thought everything was fine but throughout the rest of the afternoon she started tripping a bunch and then she started complaining about being nauseous and having a headache. And I got really concerned that she was developing concussion symptoms. Like when she fell I didn't see her hit her head but during nap I asked her and she was like yes I got my head and so I texted the director for help and Ellie got picked up early by her dad to go to urgent care and I just feel like a monster! Like I know it isn't actually my fault and hindsight is 20/20 but also I was the teacher in charge of that area and I wasn't fast enough to catch her and I just felt so bad. Becky told me she'll let me know how she is on Monday.

Me and Ellie would sit on a bench and just talk. Iggy joined us. I played pretend with one of the littles. I did a little sewing. I talked to Lauren, formally of the museum, and she told me her neighbor just had a funeral for a dead bat she found in the sidewalk.

I stayed through the first half of lunch with the kids. But then I took my break. The other teacher, Ms Lyric, wasn't feeling great and would end up going home early too. But I got my break first and sat in the kitchen and enjoyed my soup and watched a video. And eventually wandered back upstairs so Lyric could go get some tea and rest her head.

The kids were a little pushy during nap. Meaning boundary pushing. Everyone wants a drink and a tissue and to use the bathroom. And it was tough to know when to say yes or no. And different teachers want different things. And then all of a sudden Ellie was on the verge of throwing up and I was calling for help. It was a bit stressful. But we handled it. I filled out an incident report. And I tried to just make sure everyone else was in one piece.

Soon Lyric would leave. And Hannah would come and help me transition the kids to the side yard. Where I sat in the train with the boys for a bit before sitting with Sam I til she upset me buy dumping a bucket of mulch on me after I asked her not too.

I got a bunch of hugs before I left. It's my last scheduled day for the foreseeable future. I let Becky know about my full time grant at camp and how I may not be available next year but I will stay in contact. She told me please do and that makes me really happy. I still really want to have them as a contact because even though I don't want to be there everyday I do enjoy it. Even if it brings me stress.

I headed out. And walked to Walgreens. I went a different way for some flavor and it was a really nice little walk. I got a new nail file and tweezers at Walgreens. And went home.

I collected all my stuff for my workshop tomorrow.

I had my headphones in and was startled when James came home. But I was happy to see them. They would make us pizza and salad for dinner. But the dough would take a while. In the mean time we cuddled on the couch and I looked at houses for sale.

I actually did that a bit during nap time too. I figueed out that if we get a mortgage for $140 to $180k we would pay about the same as we do in rent (mortgage, taxes, and insurance). And we would qualify for some down payment assistance and if we did the 3.5% fha loan we could possibly actually afford a home? That I could paint and diy all the time??? This would be a few years away. But it is fun to think about.

I found a few houses I did like. In areas in Baltimore I would like. It's not perfect but it's fun to day dream. So I spent some time doing that. Watching videos. Hanging out with James. It was a nice night.

Eventually I got in bed and rested here until I went to take a bath. Which was nice but my skin on my hands and feet hurt a lot. Frustrating. And even more frustrating that I can't seem to get an in person dermatologist and it makes me more annoyed that I canceled my online one. But it's fine it will work out. It's just frustrating that you try to do the right thing and it doesn't work out the way you hope.

Now me and James are in bed. And I am real tired. And tomorrow I have a long drive to Annapolis. And while I am excited for my workshop I am also nervous!!! I hope it's fun.

Sleep well everyone. Wish me luck! Have a nice night!!

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fizzywashere87 · 1 month

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It Was Fun While it Lasted Pt.2

notes: telhas teez. Warnings!: Breakups, crying, physical pain, angst. Also this isn't an x reader

Pt.1 | M.List

A few days after Valentines day, she gets a text from her friend (MS). Her and (MS) don't text a whole lot, so it was probably something important.

_________________________

(MS): @^@ - (Her): heyy wsp? - (MS): yk @D@(\/) E1$@^3D likes u. - (Her): uhm tf i barely talk to him? (Her): how do yk? - (MS): everyone is saying bro - (Her): oh damn _

(MS): ik (MS): @^@ u can't like him - (Her): why? - (MS): he's weird (MS): we used to like each other a while ago - (Her): OMG FR?? - (MS): ya (MS): i'm not telling u not to like him bc i used to like him (MS): but once he's done with you he talks sooo much shit - (Her): i won't i promise - (MS): he's ugly and fat i promise (MS): wallah u can do sm better tho (MS): ur so cute - (Her): tyyy <3 i won't like him dw

The conversation went something like that. She doesn't remember exactly, but this was what she took away from the conversation.

It's probably been a few weeks now, she only can remember certain bits and pieces now, but we can skip, for her sake, to when something had actually happened. Something probably slightly worth mentioning.

She's in math class, bored, not listening to anything the teacher was saying. (AS) grabs her attention, causing her to turn her head to look at the boy seated beside her.

"Do you like him?"

She shakes her head 'no' causing him to tut lightly.

"He's a cutie, you should like him."

Finally, after having enough, she still decides to play dumb for a bit until she has more information. Though, it's more than safe to ask one question. "Why do you keep asking me about him?" A small smile that probably meant 'oh shit' came across his face as she asked him. Fighting her own smile so she could play dumb until he answered. He just shrugs and she decides to force it out of him. "He likes me, doesn't he?" Another wider smile on his face. Yep. That explains why he added her on Snapchat.

"Bro, why don't you like him?" He asks in a 'come on' type of tone. She didn't have a huge reason for not liking him. He was cute, she wanted to give him a chance. Though she was facing a lot of internal conflict. She's not even allowed to date, would she be willing to break rules for a boy she barely knew?

"I don't even know him," She answered honestly, she's not the type to just like anyone, and her gut feeling was telling her not to do it.

"Then get to know him!!" (AS) replied, all but throwing his hands on the desk.

"Okay, bro." She shrugged turning back to her math book as if she was going to write anything in it, still unsure. Though she really wanted to despite the feeling in her gut, which was against this idea almost entirely. She's made the decision to go against that.

The rest of the day, she had a plan in mind, she was going to smile and wave at him tomorrow. Yeah. She can afford friendly flirting, and if it doesn't go right, she can easily mask it as something else she'll come up with on the spot.

Basketball practice went normally, they ran through drills they were going to go through in the game which was after school tomorrow. The coach wasn't there but that was okay, (AM), the assistant coach was there and would be there for the game the next day. Two hours, and it was 5:30, meaning they could go to the locker rooms, change, and go home. And the team did just that.

She was a bit more excited to go to sleep that night, knowing that the next day would be intriguing. Before she fell asleep, she planned how she was going to execute this, most likely would be in her second hour class because that's the first class she has with him.

The next day, she couldn't wait to get out of first hour, and get right to second hour. As she was let out of her ELA classroom, she went straight to her locker to grab her Arabic binder before making her trip all the way to the hallway her Arabic class was in.

When she arrived in the classroom, she set her stuff down and looked to see his stuff was on his desk and she left the room for the little amount of passing time she had left.

Coming back to the classroom, she started on her bellwork as did everyone else who walked in. Including him. The rest of that time, she was looking for an opportunity to at least make eye contact with him. This wasn't natural honestly. If anyone knew she had planned all this she probably would've left the country.

During their work time on an assignment, her teacher comes up to her, a poster in hand, and asks if she can borrow her chair for a second. Confused, though she has an idea of what she may need it for, she nods and gets up, getting a 'thank you habibti' in thanks.

WAIT!

This is perfect!!!

Her plan!!

He has to be looking right now! She's practically standing in front of his desk!

She quickly builds up the courage to look at him, knowing he's staring right now, she looks at him.

As she looks at him, they lock eyes. He doesn't smile, until she gives him a bright smile and waves at him with her hand by her hip. Her heart speeds up instantly and her face heats up as he smiles and waves back.

She didn't plan for that.

As she goes back to her seat, she focuses on her steps so she doesn't trip on accident. Sitting down, and presuming her work, her mind begins to wander the slightest bit. Why can't she stop smiling? What the hell? There's no way somebody could ever catch feelings that quickly right? God, this is gonna hurt so bad when it's over and I'm gonna be the idiot for letting it happen- But the way he smiled at her- it was more than possible at this point.

The rest of the class, she would occasionally look back at him, a few times he would look at her and give her that same smile causing her to smile again and look away involuntary. She went to her next class a lot happier than she started, excited for fourth hour, where she would see him again. She leaves her third hour and goes to lunch, choosing to stay quiet, once again, about what happened.

If she was being honest, she was slightly in denial about liking him, I mean, she was just being friendly, right? Friendly to a cute boy who definitely likes her. But, he likes her back, she's going to want to date him, people are going to be talking about it, and she's not sure if she wants that yet. Plus, (MS) said he's no good, but maybe he'll be different?

She's in her fourth hour now, 'starting' her bellwork, giving him a few glances though not getting that same eye contact. (That was okay, class had just started). A few minutes pass by, before (AS) speaks up, "You said 'hi' to him?" That prompted the smile on her face, that she quickly wiped off. Damn, he already told his friends, about a smile?

"Yeah?" She answers, playing the 'confused as to why he would be asking card' taking a small glance at him quicker than (AS) could catch.

"Do you like him?"

She did not want to answer that question.

"I don't know." Faking a stroke was probably the better plan.

"Why not bro." (AS) sighs, "You should like him."

She sighed. "I don't know bro." For someone who didn't know, she seemed to know she was going to tell him to come to her basketball game. Real smooth.

The rest of class he didn't really look at her, which was understandable, some of his friends were in that class, (AS) and (AA) were one of those friends. She let class go on, giggling when (MA) said something to get herself sent out in the hallway, giggling when (AS), (HB), and (AA) argued with the teacher over stupid things. Though she was really waiting for after class so she could catch him and follow through with her second genius plan.

After class, she took her time packing her stuff, stalling for him, she took her time because he was talking to the teacher. However when she seen he was finished, finally, she took a small breath, her heart racing, she walked up to him.

"@D@(\/)," She spoke up, causing him to look up at her and smile which pushed one across her own face.

"Yeah?" He answered, waiting to hear what she had to say. This was it, this was it, this was IT! Don't stutter please.

"Are you coming to the game later?" She asked leaving room for herself to read his response, her heart was still racing.

"Maybe," He shrugged, smiling a bit more. She liked how much he smiled, she liked it a lot.

"Come." She let her smile turn into a smirk as he nodded, she had so much fucking rizz!! Let's fucking go!!! We're locked in! She better drop AT LEAST twelve today!

"Alright." He smiled and she grinned and waved at him before walking away. She ran to (YC)'s locker where she was getting her stuff for her fifth hour, and she rapidly tapped her friend on the shoulder,

"I told him to come to my game!!" She hops in place excitedly, smiling as (YC) looked at her in shock.

"For real?! Say wallah." (YC) said, smiling a bit.

"Wallah!!" She grinned excitedly as she hugged (YC) and ran to her own locker to grab her stuff for her fifth hour.

She went to her fifth hour a lot happier than she was before. As she dropped her stuff on her desk and walked out, she seen him in a crowd of boys, and (HZ) and (ME) went up to her,

"You told 31$@^3D to come to your game?" (ME) asked, smiling a bit as her cheeks heated up.

"No," She shrugged contradicting her verbal answer, obviously she did and they knew. Fake a stroke, it probably would work right about now, he obviously told them, dumbass. She made eye contact with him and flashed him a small smile.

Her fifth hour wasn't much better, (HZ) wouldn't keep his mouth shut and now (AB) knew about it, and (MD) tried to force it out of her friend. She decided say she didn't know if she liked him yet. She obviously didn't want to say no, then his friends would tell him that and it would give her a headache, and she didn't exactly want everyone to go around talking about her. If that information got back home, she'd be in a lot of trouble, not for liking another, but for dating at her young age.

Whilst thinking of excuses she could give her mom if this got back home, she couldn't help but think about how her basketball game might go, especially since he would be coming to watch her play.

This is prolly gonna hurt a lot when it's over.

#fizzytried #fizzyshatitout #type shit #based on real life events #kinda shit but i gotta finish it now #love story #angst #break up

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rainycitysworld · 2 years

Note

Hi!! I love your blog and I was just wondering if I could please request headcanons for how either kakashi and/or shikamaru would react to a reader with a lot of older brothers who are super protective over fem!reader. And how they would win her brothers over! Thank you! :)

Oh thank you anon! This is a super cute request! Both of these are going to be written when they characters are in their early twenties so right before Naruto for Kakashi and right after Shippuden for Shikamaru

Kakashi

Kakashi gets it- he was protective over Rin (and eventually is protective of Sakura) so he understands it comes from a good place and he's actually happy his partner has so many people who love her

You would think being one of the Leaf's most elite ninjas would be enough to instill a little trust, though. Then again people do call him "Friend Killer Kakashi"

Definitely turns to Iruka for help, and Iruka tells him to de-ninjafy himself in front of them and be as non-threatening as possible. Look as little like a killer as possible.

Kakashi thought he was already pretty non-threatening but when he asked Kurenai for advice, she said the same thing. She also told him to lose the porn books.

So Kakashi goes home "de-ninjafys" himself, begrudgingly so. Reminding himself how much he loves his partner every two seconds

Replacing the headband with an eye patch wears a nice shirt and pants instead of his jonin uniform and decided to only keep one kunai and scroll on him.

The mask stays, though, obviously.

He has a couple of uncomfortable dinners with her family like this. Uncomfortable because he is not convinced that they're buying this act and because not being in uniform is weird for him.

But I think after a couple of visits, he starts to get more comfortable and casual. Maybe a few times he forgets to change his headband or has to rush from a mission and is still wearing his vest, so he feels a bit more in his element.

What ultimately happens is they just get to know Kakashi. It might take a while, but once people get to know Kakashi, it doesn't take long to realize he isn't some cold-blooded killer, he's just a guy.

Eventually, I think he'd win them over and even becomes friends with them. Kakashi would never admit this, but he's always wanted a family.

Shikamaru

What a drag

He's dating his girlfriend, not her brothers- why should he care what they think of him? Does he really have to win them over?

It would be moments like this where he really misses Asuma and his father, which just makes the situation harder.

I actually think it'd make him question if he was good enough for his partner.

But ultimately, he decides that's her call to make, not his, so with a big sigh, he gets up and tries to smooth things over.

Her brothers probably just think he's some lazy slacker whose only claim to fame was being in the same class as Naruto.

He isn't entirely sure how to disprove that, so he does the only thing that seems logical- show not tell.

Since the end of the war, he had been working under Kakashi with all the Leaf's non-military expansions, and he's actually pretty proud of his work. The train that connects the villages, trade deals, humanitarian projects who the areas affected by the war, and Sakura's mental hospital for orphans- so he invites his girl and her brothers to a fundraising event.

Usually, he hates these things, but he's gonna get all dressed up and show her brothers that he's just trying to make the world a better place for her to live in, and if that doesn't work, he isn't sure what will.

Kakashi definitely catches wind of this plan and makes sure everyone hypes Shikamaru up the entire evening in front of his girlfriend's family.

And sure- the brothers are impressed, they didn't realize the scope of Shikamaru's work, but ultimately that wasn't what won them over.

After dinner, there was dancing, and even though Shikamaru hates dancing, his girlfriend doesn't, so he very sweetly asked her to dance, and the brothers couldn't help but notice the giant smile on her face the entire time.

#naruto headcanons #naruto #kakashi hatake #shikamaru nara

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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years

Text

AN UNUSUAL YEAR (Part I/V)

Summary: After having little to no interest on girls for five years, Fred suddenly feels the need to nag the shit out of a certain witch, completely oblivious to the reason behind it.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: fluff (+ enemies to lovers)

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: I'm currently going through a Harry Potter fever ('tis the damn season), so I thought I'll write something. I might write more of this story, (maybe turn it into a multipart) we'll see. If you'd like to be tagged in this, let me know.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

I had always supposed that reaching the sixth year at Hogwarts meant subjects would get way more demanding and complex, and I to be proven right, only two weeks in were needed.

Added to the usual difficulties, we would be hosting The Triwizard Tournament. Having the castle be almost twice as crowded as the other years, when all you crave is a quiet spot to study, wasn't ideal.

As I said, the first two weeks were already hard enough.

During the third week though, believe it or not, things got even worse —and our guests hadn't even arrived yet.

The Slytherin common room was quieter than the library these days, that's the sole reason why, at 3:35 pm, my best friend and I were already making our way there.

To our luck, we arrived just in time to see the two redheaded troublemakers par excellence high-fiving each other besides my common room's entrance.

"What on Merlin's beard are you two doing here?!" Both of them jumped at the sight of two Slytherins.

"The question is what are YOU doing here?" One of them questioned back, probably attempting to distract us. "You two should be in the library."

"What did you do?" I squinted my eyes at them and, while one raised his hands in surrender, the other just shrugged.

"Nothing." He motioned at our door nonchalantly. "If you don't believe me, check it yourself."

My friend and I shared a reluctant look, and before I could say anything, she was heading to the door.

"Mathilda wait—" I gasped when she sunk into what appeared to be the stone floor.

"Okay now, I wasn't expecting her to actually do it." When I attempted to step forward, a hand on my forearm prevented me from it.

"Don't step further." He warned. "Just in case."

"I'm not stupid." I hissed before grabbing my wand, which made the tall redhead back off. "Revelio." Slowly, a swamp was revealed to be where the entrance hall to the Slytherin common room was supposed to.

Now that it was visible, both twins hurried to get my friend out of their giant prank.

"Get rid of this." I ordered as they pulled her up, her bottom half covered in mud.

"Pffft... no?" One of them scoffed, walking away from Mathilda and stepping closer to me. "It's a masterpiece. It stays."

"If it stays, I will throw you into your masterpiece." I threatened, putting my wand back in my pocket.

"Oh, I'd love to see you try."

I glared at him, partially because I hated that cocky attitude these two —specially him— always exhibited, but also because I had to look up in order to make eye contact.

"Listen Weasley,"

"It's Fred." Oh what would I give to wipe that stupid grin off his face.

"I don't care." Refusing to step back as he clearly wanted to achieve by towering me, I stepped forward, lightly pushing him back with one hand. "You will remove this from here or I will walk right now to the Potions Classroom and split on you."

The twins seemed to have a silent conversation with their eyes only. After a moment of silence, the one with my friend spoke. "We'll get rid of it right now and you won't say anything." I nodded, my eyes still fixed on Fred's. "Just so we're clear, this was not set up for you."

"The next one will be, though." Fred assured me with an almost wicked smile. "I'll make sure you can't use the revelio on it."

"Is that a promise, Weasley?" I asked in an unconsciously defying tone.

"You can be sure of it, Y/l/n."

"It's Y/n." I retorted, mocking him.

"I don't care." I rolled my eyes when he did the same, finally breaking eye contact with him.

"C'mon Thilda," I held out my hand to her "let's see if someone can sneak us into the Ravenclaw common room."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You think Fred meant it?" Mathilda inquired, the worry slipping through her words as she played with her breakfast.

"I doubt so." Angelina, who was sitting in front of us, replied without even looking up from her quidditch history book. "They seem more trouble than they are, really." I scoffed; it was easier for her to say that; she was a Griffindor after all. "Deep down they're nice sort, Y/n. They won't pick up on you for ruining a prank."

"I don't trust them."

"I'm not saying you have to—" Angelina jumped slightly when a wad of paper hit my face.

"You were saying?" I grunted, making eye contact with the red haired boy waving at me from the Griffindor table.

When I opened the wad, it read:

'miss me? —Fred ;)'.

"Look at his smug face." I hissed. "I'm gonna-"

"Ignore him. You're gonna ignore him." Angelina finished, fairly unconcerned. "I assure you he'll get bored in less then two days if he can't get a reaction out of you."

For the sake of having breakfast in peace, I only dedicated him a fake smile and did as my friend said. It seemed to work, until it was time to leave for class.

"We should get moving." Mathilda spoke, putting her plate aside and picking up her things as I did the same.

"I have a free period now." Angelina informed us. "Or as free as it can be. You?"

"Divination. Y/n?"

"Charms— Fuck." I whined as something dawned on me. "Those gits are in my class." I spared them a glare. "If they ruin my favorite subject I'm gonna—" a sudden splash of water on my face left my shirt soaked for at least the next hour. "You got the nerve—!" I yelled at the guy who was already making eye contact with me.

"I do, indeed!" He cut me off, winking at me from across the table, his chin resting on the palm of his hand with a teasing grin dancing on his lips as he asked, "what are you gonna do now, Y/l/n?" His twin brother, though I could only see his back, was clearly not enjoying this behavior.

Mathilda checked my gaze, dreading the worst. "Y/n, don't. You're gonna make Slytherin lose points." She knew the warning wouldn't do much, but at least she had tried.

Angelina, instead of backing our friend and try to calm me down, got up and walked to the table where the Weasleys sat.

FRED'S P.O.V.

"I hope you know you're dead." Angie stood in front of me, before using her book to tap my brother's arm. "George, move."

"What?"

The three of us spared a look at Y/n, who had, ignoring McGonagall yells, stepped over her table to get to us.

"Move. Now."

"Ssshit." My brother moved just in time for Y/n to repeat the same forward move on our table.

It's not as if I didn't have the time to move and run away, she hadn't rushed; on the contrary, she walked calmed and composed, and still I did not move an inch.

I guess a part of me wanted to know what she'd do to me.

"Look at you." I began to wind her up again when she climbed off the table on my side, sitting down on its surface with her shoes over the bench. "Doing the impossible to be near me, how romant—"

My sentence died off abruptly as a handful of scrambled eggs was mashed against my face.

I heard a burst of laughs around me. "Blimey! I'm sorry, Fred," she feigned worry, smearing what I assumed were the remaining rests of my breakfast all over my chest. "I hope you're not late to Charms because of this." She whispered near my ear, making a shiver go down my spine when her breath hit my neck. "See you there, yeah?"

Her hand squeezed my shoulder and her fingers ran over my shoulder blades as she walked away.

I felt a napkin placed in my hand and I was quick to remove as much scrambled eggs as possible from my face, just in time to see Y/n exiting the Great Hall with McGonagall jogging after her.

"You know?" Lee asked, drawing my attention. "Picking up on the girl you fancy is kind of a toddler strategy."

"Yeah, Fred," my brother agreed. "you're not an eighth year-old anymore."

"And you chose the wrong girl to nag" Angie added," if you keep it up, she will surely kill you." She held back a teasing smile. "And you should be careful" she nudged George. "I don't think she can tell you both apart, you can end up as collateral damage."

"But you wouldn't let that happen, would you?" I rolled my eyes when George scooted closer to our quidditch chaser.

"Depends on how annoying you are." She faked indifference as my brother searched for her eyes.

"I don't fancy her." I not-so-randomly stated. "But I can't stop pranking her now that she ruined my breakfast."

"You can and you will, Weasley." I jolted at McGonagall's voice behind me. "Twenty points from Gryffindor." At least I'm not grounded, I thought. "And you're grounded for the rest of the week."

"But Y/n— Ouch!" my brother kicked me under the table so I would shut it.

"Y/l/n has received her fair share of punishment, too, Weasley." The professor gave me a poorly masked, disgusted look. "Go and..." She waved her hand "Clean yourself up, Y/l/n will inform professor Flitwick about this incident. And Weasley," She stared at my brother. "Aren't you supposed to be heading to Charms too?"

"Yes ma'am." He replied, throwing everything into his bag, getting up and rushing out of there, not before grabbing his robe.

"The day's promising." I groaned, handing my things over to Angelina so I could go to the bathroom.

"You made the day promising by messing with a Slytherin, you twit." She pointed out, putting my things over hers. "Now go clean those eggs from your shirt."

"Aye, mother!" I headed off before Angie could add anything else to the conversation, loosening my tie as I moved forward.

As I cleaned off everything I could in the nearest bathroom, a random thought slipped into my mind.

Had Y/n been punished too? And if so, would we fullfil the punishment together? It seemed logical that if one of us got grounded, the other one would get grounded too; consequently, it would only make sense for us to—

Shut it. I mumbled to my own mind.

I didn't care. I did not care if she was punished or not. It was none of my business.

I don't fancy her, I thought to myself once again.

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfiction #fred x y/n #fred weasley au #fred weasley fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #harry potter #harry potter and the triwizard tournament #triwizard au #triwizard tournament #fred and george #fred weasley icons #fred x slytherin reader

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angellesword · 4 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (05)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

"A future without you is a world without color."

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

SERIES: CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 6

The best thing about Red was that she wasn't just your assistant; she was also your friend.

Your one and only girl confidant.

Growing up, you didn't really have a lot of friends. It was probably because you used to be so shy.

Unlike other children, you weren't forced by your parents to interact with kids your age. Why would they do that when you already had everything you needed?

You had the latest toys so you didn't have to play tag or hide and seek with your neighbors. You were also a smart girl. You didn't need to ask for your classmates' help. The only weakness your parents saw was the fact that you only excelled in the academic field. You weren't blessed with a golden voice. You couldn't dance, you couldn't ride a bike. You couldn't even do the basic household chore.

This was all because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You didn't have to try harder. You had a handmaiden to do all sort of things for you. Your parents paid the school so that you wouldn't have to attend P.E classes or any other extracurricular activities.

You were contented to be alone in your big, princess-like room.

In fact, you only met Jimin, your best friend who was two years younger than you, during college days. He was your classmate in your first ever P.E class. You were already a junior that time. You thought you could skip P.E the way you did in high school, but you were wrong. You ended up in Jimin’s class that time.

The two of you didn’t stop being friends after the semester ended. Actually, you guys became even closer. Jimin was the only person who was by your side when you were breaking down because of school. He cried with you, slept late with you, and he also set you up with a lot of his friends. Unfortunately, you weren't attracted to any of them. You weren't picky. You were just a sucker for soulmates and happy endings. His efforts didn't go to waste though. You became good friends with some of these guys. You were particularly close to Jung Hoseok, a boy your age who was in Jimin's dance class.

Hoseok was a great person, but you still craved the idea of having a girl best friend.

Luckily, you met Red.

You met her months ago—back when she was still a struggling student who was looking for a job in the company where you were working.

"And why would I hire someone like you?" Gahee, your co-worker, snarled at Red. The former didn't like the latter's answers during the interview portion. She said Red was too slow, too soft. She wasn't fit to become a lawyer like the rest of you.

"I'm sorry..." This was another issue. Red kept on apologizing. She had a very low self-esteem.

You knew right there and then that this girl wouldn't be hired. Out of the five interviewers, you were certain that you're the only one who was in favor of this intern.

Why?

It was because Red reminded you of your younger self.

As stated, you were a shy kid. But then law school changed you. To survive, you needed to act tough—you constantly needed put on a mask just so you could reach the 'standard' of what a lawyer should be like.

Most of the time, it worked. There were cases, however, wherein you became clouded by your own judgment. Some of your colleagues said you were too empathetic—always rescuing people from their misery.

You were doing it again.

"I'm going to hire her." These were your exact words just as Red was about to leave.

She stopped walking. Red turned to look at you. Confusion was apparent all over her face. Were you serious?

The other interviewers couldn't believe the words that came out of your mouth, so naturally, they protested.

You simply raised your brow at them.

"I said what I said. She's going to be my new assistant." You pointed at Red who still looked so shocked.

"But we don't want to work with her!" Gahee groaned.

"So?"

Gahee's face turned pale because of your response. You arched your brow higher.

"It doesn't matter if you don't want her. She's going to work for me."

The interviewers went silent.

You see, no one could ever question your decision. You might be 'too soft' for some of them, but they still couldn't deny that you were damn good at your job. Your personality in the office was very different from what your family and friends knew. For them, you would always be that quiet little girl who couldn't speak for herself. In here, you were young, but sophisticated. A lion in a world full of kittens.

"Ms. Red Lee's my responsibility from now on. If you have a problem with her, you can talk to me."

This was the beginning of your friendship with Red. At first, she was skeptical of your intention. Why would you want to work with someone like her?

"Because I believe in you." You offered her a smile when she finally found the courage to ask you the question that had been bothering her since the first time she met you.

Red had been your assistant for months now; however, your co-workers still didn't like her. It was as though they were waiting for her to make a mistake.

She did.

"How's our case going? Did our client take the color vision test?" You inquired days before the trial of your client who wanted to sue the business person who sold her fake whitening products. This was a simple case. You didn't understand why your client wanted to go to trial; this could simply be settled without going to the court.

"There's no need for that. I've already talked to her."

"Hm?"

"Well..." Red took a seat beside you. She was blushing. "Remember when I told you I've met my soulmate?"

"Oh. Right!" You beamed at her. How lucky. "So did you break up with JK?"

Red told you she had a boyfriend named JK. You honestly didn't know much about him or their relationship, though you were informed that they had been together for almost a decade, unfortunately, they weren't soulmates.

"I did." The smile she gave you was sad. "But he didn't take it well..."

You didn't know what to say after that. Admittedly, you had urged Red to breakup with her boyfriend because you didn't appreciate that she was keeping him in the dark. It was unfair.

"But anyway," Red sounded so excited that you couldn't help but giggle. "I've talked to your client. I'm sure she can see color since her answer was right when I asked her if she can tell me the color of the shirt I'm wearing."

"Okay, then."

It was stupid of you to rely on Red's words and you knew it. This was the reason why you couldn't defend yourself when your boss humiliated you in front of everyone. As if that wasn't awful enough, your superior also excluded you from the biggest case you were working on.

Gahee was the new head of that case.

"I'm sorry!" Red was crying. You took accountability for what she had done. She was your assistant after all.

"It's okay, Red." You smiled despite the fact that you were breaking inside. Your boss made you look like a fool. You couldn't erase the image of your colleagues smirking that was circling inside your head.

You were no longer a lion.

"I-It's not okay! You lost the case!" She knew that you spent months working on the mentioned case your boss removed you from. Everyone was jealous of you. They wanted to handle that case. Now, Gahee had the chance. You lost yours.

You embraced Red. You couldn't bear to see anyone crying.

"But I'm still handling Mr. Kim Seokjin's case." You stared into her eyes. "That's the only case I want to handle. Trust me."

Red sobbed even harder. She understood what you meant. You lost the biggest case, but at least you were still Mr. Kim's lawyer. Again, his case was more important to you and Red.

"I'm going home. Is that okay? Can you handle yourself?" You couldn't work with a heavy heart. You needed to see Miri. You needed a bath. You needed a break.

Fortunately, Red let you go.

Ever since that day, your assistant became more hyperaware of your needs and wants. She was certain she owed you a lot. This was the reason why you couldn't understand why Jeongguk was crying now.

"G-Gukkie?" You swallowed hard when you saw tears streaming down his cheeks.

Again, Red knew what you needed. You were sure she gave you the correct recipe for kongnamul guk. So why was Jeongguk weeping as he ate the soup you made?

It couldn't be because it didn't taste good. You followed Red's recipe. It was perfect! Everyone loved her soup.

Your soulmate didn't answer you. He also refused to look at you. It was embarrassing enough that you could see his overflowing emotions.

Jeongguk wondered why the world was so cruel to him. He woke up a few minutes ago with a heavy head, and then the first thing he spotted was you.

You were standing near his feet; a lovely smile was plastered on your face. Jeongguk didn't understand why you were grinning at him like that.

Weren't you mad? He remembered everything that happened last night. He acted like an asshole.

Jeongguk's suspicion grew when you handed him an ibuprofen and a glass of water. Not only that, you also told him that you cooked soup to help him with his throbbing head. He was too tired and shy to refuse you, so without saying anything, he let you drag him to the dining table.

You prepared everything for Gukkie. The only thing he had to do was eat. The thing was, he couldn't even do that.

Tears filled his eyes the moment he tasted the soup. He was looking directly at you while bring the spoon closer to his mouth—this was how you acted last night. This was what pissed him off. You were scowling, making him feel like he was the worst cook ever.

How was he different from you when he was acting the same way? The only thing that changed was his expression. As said, he was crying instead of frowning.

It broke your heart.

"Say something please?" You begged. You felt your chest tightening. Did you make him cry? Were you wrong? Red's recipe was perfect, maybe it was you who fucked things up. Did you put too much salt? Too much bean sprout?

What was wrong?

Jeongguk shook his head, harshly wiping his tears away. He didn't say anything. He didn't make it seem like he hated the soup. Actually, he finished it within a few minutes.

"I'm going to my room." He abruptly stood up, hanging his head low.

"T-Thanks for the food."

The way Jeongguk acted made you realize that you couldn't really cook, not even when the perfect recipe was literally in front of you; however, this didn't stop you from making dinner that same day.

Your soulmate locked himself in his room since morning. He hadn't eaten anything other than that soup and frankly, you were getting worried. You didn't want him to get sick.

It was going to take a while to have your food delivered, so you just decided to cook instant ramen. It had always been your life savior.

"What are you doing?"

You stopped trying to open the stove when Jeongguk suddenly spoke up.

He instantly realized what you were doing, causing him to grimace.

"You can't eat instant ramen for the rest of your life, you know? It's very unhealthy." Jeongguk shook his head, disappointed.

You bit your lower lip. It was the only food you knew how to prepare by heart. You didn't want to upset him again by trying to cook something that didn't taste good.

"I'm gonna prepare our dinner." He announced and you nodded.

You were starving. It was Sunday, but you still needed to work. You stayed in the living room the whole day, talking to Mr. Kim Seokjin about his case. Miri wasn't around to keep you company. That cat of yours stayed with Jeongguk the whole day. What a traitor.

"Okay. I'll be in my room if ever you need help." You said.

"Wait!" Jeongguk held your wrist, stopping you from leaving.

"I-Is gimbap okay?" His voice was soft as he asked this. He realized he needed to talk to you about your likes and dislikes. He couldn't just prepare something and get mad if you ended up disliking it.

"Uh..."

Jeongguk could feel your hesitation. It wasn't like you hated gimbap, but you had too much of it yesterday. Red made twenty five pieces when you told her you were craving it.

"Tell you what," Jeongguk let go of your hand. "Why don't we just eat out? Do you like pizza? What about pasta?"

He kept on suggesting food you could try, but nothing was registering inside your mind. The only thing you could think of was this:

"We're going on a date?" Your eyes were sparkling.

"What?" Jeongguk asked, dumbfounded. Out of the many things he had said, this was the only thing you could think about?

"You said we're gonna eat outside! It means we're going on a date!" You were smiling shamelessly.

Jeongguk's eyes widened. He was panicking. He didn't know why his heart was beating so fast just by the thought of going out on a date with you.

"I-I..." He swallowed hard. "We could invite T-Tae and Jimin."

Jeongguk panicked more upon realizing what he just said. No. He couldn't bear to see his best friend right now. Jeongguk hadn't told anyone that he could see colors now—well, except Yoongi.

Jeongguk wasn't ready yet. He felt guilty. He knew he was the reason why you couldn't see colors. He didn't want Taehyung and Jimin to be disappointed in him. Besides, he didn't want the couple to pester him about liking you. Again, that wasn't going to happen.

Jeongguk was about to withdraw his statement, unfortunately, you were already telling him that it was a good idea.

"So how are you, Guk?"

This was the story how Jeongguk ended up eating sushi with Taehyung.

The couple accepted your invitation. The four of you were supposed to eat together, but Jimin claimed he needed to talk to you. Alone.

Taehyung didn't protest. He missed Jeongguk too. It had been a while since they last talked. This was the perfect time to finally catch up.

"Nothing new." Jeongguk shrugged nonchalantly.

"Really?" Taehyung raised a brow. He could tell when his best friend was hiding something. "So you don't consider being able to see colors as something new, huh?"

Jeongguk's head jerked up.

"You know!?"

Taehyung laughed. Of course he knew. You told Jimin and Jimin told Taehyung. The latter was simply waiting for Jeongguk to open up.

He couldn't wait forever though. Jeongguk could be stubborn sometimes.

"She also told us that you cried earlier..."

Jeongguk pursed his lips into a thin line. Damn it. You couldn't keep anything to yourself, could you?

"I did not." Jeongguk gritted his teeth. The tears forming in his eyes were in contrast to what he was saying.

Jeongguk indeed cried earlier. Taehyung could tell because the younger boy was crying again.

"Guk..." Taehyung caressed Jeongguk's clenched fist.

"Wanna tell your hyung what happened?" The voice of Jeongguk's best friend was like a lullaby.

Jeongguk cried even harder.

Truthfully, he was surprised with himself too. Jeongguk had always been emotional, but his stubborn ass refused to let other people see him cry. This was new. The Jeongguk Taehyung knew would keep his mouth shut.

The Jeongguk today couldn't stop talking.

"I got so drunk last night, hyung. She..." Jeongguk looked at Taehyung to make sure that he understood that the she he was referring to was you.

"She cooked kongnamul guk for me."

Taehyung was silent after that. He tried to understand what Jeongguk was saying. Sadly, he couldn't.

"Are you telling me that you're crying because she prepared a soup for you?" Taehyung sounded unsure.

Jeongguk shook his head; tears were still streaming down his cheeks.

"No. I was just reminded of..." He trailed off.

"Of what?"

For a moment, Jeongguk was silent. His heart was hurting.

"Of the mean things I've said to her." Jeongguk sobbed.

It was a bad idea to look at you while he was trying to eat. Jeongguk's eyes accidentally fell into your lips. It was swollen—a reminder that you still ate the garlic shrimp even though you were allergic to it.

Jeongguk felt like an evil person.

Why were you always so kind to him? No one treated him the way you treated him. It was too good to be true.

"Oh." Taehyung broke into a huge grin and suddenly, he was chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Jeongguk was talking in a pout.

"Nothing!" The best friend's laugh had died down, but he was still smiling. "Is she tricking me, then? Can't she really see colors?"

For Taehyung, it was impossible that you were still living a monochromatic life. It was obvious that Jeongguk cared for your feelings. However, Jimin thought the opposite.

"Seriously? God. I hate that brat so much!" Jimin didn't know that he was capable of hating Jeongguk, but after listening to your story, he couldn't help the annoyance he felt for your soulmate.

You were currently inside a restaurant that was just across the sushi bar where Jeongguk and his boyfriend were at.

Jimin missed you as much as Taehyung missed his best friend. The last time you two communicated was three weeks ago. You did tell him that Jeongguk was your soulmate and that he didn't seem to like you.

Jimin brushed it off at first. He told you to give Jeongguk some time. He failed to tell you that your soulmate just went through a tough breakup though. Jimin knew it wasn't his story to tell.

"Don't. Gukkie's a good person. He just didn't know any better."

"It’s because he isn't trying!" Jimin crossed his arms. He was aware that it was unfair to get mad at Jeongguk, but your best friend could tell that you were getting hurt because of your soulmate's insensitivity.

"If I were you, I would give up on him."

You shook your head instead of agreeing to his statement.

"Jeongguk reminds me of law school."

When Jimin raised his brow, you started to elucidate what you meant.

No one, not even your parents, believed in you when you told them you were going to law school. Sure, you were smart, but you weren't strong like others. You cry immediately. You couldn't handle harsh opinions. You couldn't even handle sleepless nights and intense competition. You hated conflict. You had always been a mediator.

Even Jimin tried to stop you. He asked you so many times if you truly wanted this. It's not that he didn't trust you. Your best friend was only concerned about your well-being. He was there when you were having a difficult college semester. Undergraduate life was clearly much easier compared to graduate school. Jimin couldn't let you lose yourself just because of law school.

But you were determined to prove them wrong. Yes, law school was hard, but you were stronger. If you remained passionate about learning the law, you knew you would become a lawyer.

Guess what? You did.

This was what you were holding onto every time you felt like giving up on Jeongguk.

Pain was nothing if you could make him fall in love with you.

"Jeon Jeongguk!" You shouted when you saw Taehyung and your soulmate walking out of the sushi bar.

You and Jimin had also finished eating.

Your soulmate looked at you with furrowed brow. He didn't understand why you were shouting when the two of you were just a few meters away from each other.

"I LIKE YOU!" You shouted once again. Your voice was so loud that people couldn't help but look at you.

You were gaining attention.

Taehyung and Jimin were laughing their asses off. Jeongguk tried to run away, but his best friend held him down.

"You're fucking crazy!" Jimin shook his head, still laughing when you started to form a big heart over your head.

"I LIKE YOU SO MUCH, JEON JEONGGUK." You continued.

Jeongguk was dying of embarrassment, but you didn't care.

You were sure.

Jeon Jeongguk was going to love you.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook enemies to lovers #jungkook e2l #jungkook series #jungkook soulmate au #jungkook roommate au #jungkook sugar baby au #ficswithluv #bangtan #btsfanfic #vmin fluff

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aetheternity · 3 years

Text

Hard Pass P3 (Levi X Reader)

Synopsis: Levi is forced out of his comfy dorm room and in a strange twist of events right into your arms at a college party.

Levi was relieved for the silence as he clicked away at his keyboard. Mike had gone to his only late class of the entire week. Which meant Levi could actually study in his room.

The scent of tea and the small aroma diffuser on his desk as well as the open window in front of him welcomed a nice calming smell that was normally masked by Mike's gym bags and sweaty clothes. Which reminded Levi of the laundry he would have to do soon.

He pressed his tea cup to his lips feeling a twinge of irritation as he was interrupted by two knocks on the door. He looked down at the time. 6:15. A little too early for Mike to be back complaining that he'd forgotten his keys.

Then it was probably one of his girls complaining that she'd left her shit in the room. If Levi had a dollar for the amount of times that had happened he could pay for a new roommate.

The next couple knocks were a bit louder. "Levi? It's Y/N.."

Y/N?!

His face practically exploded. He stood far too fast because just as quickly he was flopping over his stupid desk chair and hitting the floor with a hard thud. He gasped audibly tugging at his knee and gritting his teeth.

"Levi? Are you ok?" Came her voice again.

He pulled himself up with a huff and staggered over to the door. Unsurprisingly he had to limp. With a quick turn of the lock he yanked open the door right into his forehead. God fucking dammit.

He groaned in a mix of fury and disgust partially because he'd idiotically stood so close when opening the door and partially because he hated the stupid inanimate object.

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" Y/N gasped, squeezing herself inside and shutting the door behind her. "Let me see? Did you hit your eye?" She asked

Her fingers were so delicate as she brushed aside his hands. So close.. Her thumb traced the already appearing red spot on his forehead. Soo close.. She brushed his hair to the side cupping his cheeks to gently reposition his head towards the light. Close....

She breathed out a little chuckle. "It's probably gonna bruise."

Levi barely registered her words. Occupied with her beautiful eyes illuminating moonlight and the dim lights in his room. His lips parted ever so slightly. When her hands fell away he gulped and jerked his head back. Trying to find literally anything to take the edge off.

"I'll.. go find you an ice pack, ok?" Y/N began already heading for the door.

"K-knee.." Levi tried and mentally cursed himself.

"Huh?" She asked, turning back.

"M-my.. t-two please.."

Her smile was gentle, "Two ice packs. Got it." And with a little wave she was out the door. Her lingering touch still causing heat to pool in Levi's chest.

~~~~

"Aww sweetie, are you sure you're ok?"

He was not. Definitely not. One of her hands was on his uninjured knee and the other was brushing his hair away from the ice pack. He didn't even know if he'd breathed in the last 20 minutes. His brain echoing the word sweetie.

The two of you had been sat on his bed as he uncomfortably laid his head back on the wall. Trying and failing to not fixate on your touch. Every brush of your fingertips was downright intoxicating.

"You look kinda red. Do you wanna try seeing a doctor or something?"

"N-no.." It was barely audible but he knew she heard when she nodded.

If there was a hole nearby he would crawl into it and never come out. Though he also didn't wanna move as the fear of making this situation worse for himself stayed ever present.

"Let me see?" He partially removed the ice pack from his forehead, spine tingling over the way she sucked in a breath. "You should be more careful."

Levi didn't answer. Just squeezed his legs closer together and sighed. In all the time he'd been in this room he'd never hit himself in the face with the door. Just what kind of power did this girl have over him.

"I know because my little cousin has done stuff like this but you should put some cream on the bump so that it doesn't get redder and it'll go down faster."

Little cousin? That wasn't a fair comparison. Little kids do stupid things cause they're kids. Did she think about him that way? Uggghhhh.

He was yanked from his thoughts by her hand coming down to squeeze his. "Are you positive you're ok? Do you need anything else?"

"I-I'm fine.."

Just as Levi said that his attention was brought to the door. Mike had barely stepped into the room and he was already grinning like a fucking idiot.

"Well, hello." He greeted, stepping closer. "Levi, you didn't tell me you were inviting anyone over. Especially not a pretty girl."

Y/N's chuckle was nervous, "Hello, you must be Levi's roommate." She stuck her hand out which Mike immediately took placing one hand on top of their joined hands.

"And you must be Y/N." He said "I've heard so much about you."

His teasing was met with a glare that could slice concrete. If Levi had known Mike was gonna come straight back to the room he definitely would've gotten rid of Y/N sooner.

"Oh? Really?" Y/N turned to look at Levi behind her. "You told him about me?" It was a split second thing but Levi could've sworn her features softened.

"Oh, no I meant Hange." Mike replied

"Oh."

Oh? Was she disappointed? It sounded disappointed? Did she want Levi to talk about her?

"But at no point did Hange tell me you were this pretty. Neither did Levi honestly, I'm kinda disappointed."

Alright that's enough of that. Levi stood. Placing the ice packs on his bed.

"You should probably leave." He gritted his teeth at how harshly it came out.

Now Mike was letting go of Y/N's hand. "Oh wait! I came to get my phone. Hange said you had it."

Levi blinked. He'd almost forgotten about that. It had been sitting on his desk since yesterday. His knee was screeching in absolute horror as he staggered his way over to his desk.

"What the hell happened to you?" Mike asked, clearly trying to hold back a snicker.

"Aw, it was an accident. I scared him."

Levi returned with the phone shooting daggers into Mike who pretended not to notice.

"Thank you." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Y-yeah.."

"Did you put your number into it?"

Levi's face perked up a little. "Yes."

"Ok, then I'll text you later." She assured, brushing her finger tips over his forehead once again. "Goodnight boys." And with those last words she took off.

"Faking an injury?! I didn't think you had it in you!" Mike celebrated as soon as she was gone.

"Dickhead." Levi scoffed.

"Hey, is that any way to talk to the best friend who just confirmed your biggest fear moot?" Mike plopped down on his bed with a playful huff.

Levi flopped down into his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. "One you're definitely not my best friend especially after that shit. And two I'm not you I don't fake shit to get girls."

"That would totally be hurtful if it wasn't true." Mike shrugged "I meant the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend."

Levi practically flipped himself out of his chair. "How do you assume that."

"Simple. Hange told me about her ex boyfriend. By the way it was probably that guy that took her from the library that day. And Hange says that a lot of guys find Y/N attractive. Because of this her ex got too overprotective and they broke up. But he had no reason to be because Y/N would always tell people she had a boyfriend or at least around Hange she did."

Levi stared at his barely drunk tea. The liquid probably cold after being left on the table so long. So she had dated that guy.. He had been so tall and pretty muscular looking, was that her type? She didn't seem like she was going to get back together with him.. but he was still around.

"All I'm saying is she seems loyal. You better snatch her up before someone else does or she gets back together with her ex."

His attention was drawn away by his phone softly buzzing on his table. He pressed the on button, swiping his pin and clicking the notification as it popped up.

Hey Levi, it's Y/N.

Listen ik you said you're ok but I bought you some cream just in case. I'll bring it to you tm ;)

His heart fluttered and ached remembering her touch and her kind words. If he didn't full blown know Mike was staring at him he would probably hug his phone.

~~~~

Too much time had passed and suddenly the whole school was on break. Levi had been dreading this. Not because he was a workaholic like Mike claimed but because he knew Hange was gonna drag him away and make him vacation.

And no form of vacation could possibly be more relaxing for him than curling up in bed with some books, doing some casual cleaning, and drinking tea with light music playing at all times. Mike was definitely going home during this time so it'd be the perfect way to spend his break.

But Hange's family owned a couple lodges and that meant another year of begging for Levi to come ski and freeze his fingers and toes off.

"Come on, Levi!"

"Absolutely not."

"Erwin!" Hange called to him where he sat on Levi's bed, scrolling through his phone.

"You knew he was going to say no." Erwin replied

"Which is why I brought you to help me make my case." Hange complained

"You clearly made an error in judgment then." Erwin retorted

Mike laughed from where he was laying on his own bed. "Might as well give it up Hange, Levi is just too stubborn about this. We all know he wants to be close to all my junk while I'm gone cause he'll miss me."

"I wouldn't hesitate to tell your stalker where you're going over break." Levi spat

"She'll figure it out anyway. She's a high class stalker. And I'm not her first." The room fell in uncomfortable silence but Mike just leaned back giving his full attention to his phone screen.

"That disturbing remark aside.." Erwin began shaking his head. "I'm going."

"And that's supposed to change my mind? How'd Hange force you into it?"

"It may stun you but I chose to go through with this all on my own. There are studies that claim it's good for the mind to get away from normality during breaks or away from your comfort zone to properly clear your mind. It'll also help you make less mistakes when classes resume."

Hange smiled, "Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking."

Levi rolled his eyes. "If I go you can't beg me next year." Hange's loud shrill screeching made Levi's heart drop out of his ass.

"Finally!!" Hange screamed in excitement as she wrapped her arms around Levi's neck.

"Get off already! You're such a pest!"

And that was how Levi ended up on a train for almost three long hours with Hange blabbering on about nothing and Erwin sat in the seat across from the two of them listening to podcasts while staring out the window of his own very sad music video.

And all of the crap Erwin had spewed about getting away being more relaxing proved to be completely from the ass as Levi shivered along wrapped in two scarves, a pair of gloves, his long green coat that fell around his ankles and a winter hat plopped over his ears.

"Walk faster Levi! Is that the best your little legs can do?!" Hange called, somehow racing her way up the slope with three bags. One that wasn't even hers

Levi grunted in irritation. Not only were they walking up a hill but it was covered in snow so deep that every step felt like he was falling.

"Do you need help?" Erwin asked, not waiting for Levi to respond as he hoisted the overnight bag off his shoulders.

Levi just huffed. "I swear Hange was made in a lab."

"As possible as that is, Hange was basically raised in the snow so this is the equivalent of dust for her." Erwin replied as the two of them trudged along.

"Her parents own multiple ski lodges why the hell did we go to the one up a fucking hill."

"The other closest one was more than 6 hours away. Did you really wanna be stuck on a train with Hange for more than 6 hours?"

Levi just groaned as they finally walked through the surprisingly big doors of the huge ski lodge. Hange raced over to the front desk as Erwin slipped onto the lobby couch, followed by Levi who was still kicking snow off his boots and his second bag.

"What's in that bag?" Erwin questioned, nodding to the luggage Levi had yanked over his lap.

He exhaled loudly giving the bag a couple soft pats. "Clothes, extra boots, extra gloves, two bottles of cleaner and a small box of tea as well as some light reading material."

"When are you gonna have time to read? We're going to be skiing most of the time we're here."

"If you think I'm getting on a ski lift you have less working brain cells than Hange."

Erwin smirked with a roll of his eyes, "Alrighty then, what's in this bag."

"All of the shit that didn't fit in this bag, toothpaste, toothbrush, cologne, extra pairs of underwear-"

"Woah, Levi you can't just talk about your underwear in a public space." Erwin chuckled at his own joke.

Levi rolled his eyes, "It's bad for your health to hang around Mike as often as you do."

"How is it you're not dead yet then?" Erwin retorted

Hange had been chatting up the receptionist for almost 15 minutes, bouncing up and down in front of the desk and indulging him in the stories of their travel up here. The man just gave her a sheepish grin and honestly Levi felt a little bad for the man but a little less when he thought about how it wasn't his problem anymore.

Moblit.. his name tag read. Somehow Hange's mannerism seemed more crazed with him if that was even possible.

"Yeah.. it has been so long." He heard the man say. You got.. taller..

"We're never getting out of this lobby are we?" Erwin sighed as the two continued to chatter on. Levi and Erwin stared as Hange continued on about her car with a surprising amount of engagement from the other party. "You know they kind of remind me of you and-"

"Hey, Hange!" Erwin cut himself off as a brown haired girl that Levi instantly recognized hopped down each step, a bald boy following her. And Levi believed he remembered them from Y/N's stories as Connie and Sasha who he remembered from the party.

"Hange, what're you doing here?" He asked as the brown haired girl gave her a hug.

"My family owns the lodge so I brought Erwin and Levi for the break!" Hange said, pulling Connie into side hug that he immediately reciprocated.

"Oh god! Why didn't you tell me your plans for break? Jean would've driven all of us up here and you wouldn't have had to waste gas."

Hange just shook her head. "It's quite alright I was already out of gas so we just took the train up here."

"You didn't put gas in your car again?" Connie asked

"Wait, if you guys came then does that mean Y/N is here?" Hange asked completely dodging Connie's question.

At her name Levi bounced out of his seat. Almost launching himself into the spot next to Erwin. Pulling his hat over his eyes and sliding his back as far into the chair as he could.

"What's up with you?" Erwin questioned

"I embarrassed myself last time I was with Y/N.."

"What? Didn't she buy you cream like a month ago?"

"Y-yeah." Levi shimmied his feet together as he slid further down in his seat.

Erwin's chuckle next to him made him grimace. "I know you don't really get it Levi. But uh, making an ass out of yourself in front of your crush is the first real hurdle to knowing you've got it bad."

"Shut up.."

"It could've been worse.. You could've accidentally injured her. Or got caught by the loud mouth in your class while writing her first name and your last name in a notebook."

"Sounds like a personal story.." Levi replied, inching the hat off his eyes to look up at Erwin.

Erwin scoffed, "Point is it happens." He said with a roll of his eyes.

Levi let out a little snicker that instantly got caught in his throat. It had never occurred to him that he'd actually paid attention to the romance movies he'd seen a hundred times with his mother. But now that Y/N was walking down the stairs it was like a scene from all of those movies combined.

Her smile just as warm as always. Turtleneck sweater hugging her features along with dark blue jeans and brown boots. Each step felt slower than the last as if everything in this particular room had been put on the slowest speed imaginable.

The butterflies in his stomach swarmed like they were all chasing after one specific thing. Everytime she appeared somehow it was different.

"We're still going skiing today right?" Connie questioned as Y/N stopped on the last stair.

"If Jean's up to it sure." She replied, her cheeks flushed like she'd just walked in from outside.

"Well this is gonna be a fun weekend." Erwin said but Levi didn't even register his words. His heart stammering in his chest. "Go make a fool out of yourself." Erwin nudged

"Hey Jean! Come on!" Connie said

"Yeah, Jean I'm hungry!" Called Sasha

Levi's heart stopped, his chest crumbling in on itself. The same guy from before.. just as soon a loud crash sounded and everyone turned all at once.

"Oh god are you ok?!" Y/N was the first person by Hange's side followed by Moblit from behind the counter.

Hange let out a laugh, wincing as she pulled herself up with Moblit and Y'N's help.

"I'll be ok. Just took a little spill." She continued to laugh.

Erwin was soon standing by her side. "Are you sure, you're alright? Your face is super red.."

A momentary lapse in Hange's facial features made Erwin step back a little. "Shut up Erwin." She huffed

"You fell on your side. You should rest a little bit." Moblit said, coming closer. "Just.. in case."

"Ok.." Hange replied

Y/N seemed to relax at this information. Her gaze immediately falling on Levi surprisingly. He really hoped he didn't outwardly wince.

"Hi, Levi." She spoke plainly giving Erwin a small greeting as well before her, Connie, Sasha, and Jean were leaving the lobby.

Hange and Erwin unsurprisingly crowded into Levi's room about five minutes after the whole ordeal. But Levi couldn't even bring himself to wipe one thing down like he'd wanted to. He just laid still on the bed, eyes planted to the ceiling.

Surprisingly Hange had also stayed silent. Her eyes shut where she laid next to Levi.

"I can't believe you broke the handle on my luggage Hange." Erwin called still sat on the floor holding his luggage in one hand and the handle in the other. Pressing the broken part of the handle to his bag as if it'd be that simple to fix.

"Now what am I supposed to do?"

"It broke my fall Erwin. Be grateful."

"For what exactly?"

"I don't know!"

Levi blinked, his gaze falling on Hange for the first time since she took that spill in the lobby. Her hands were crossed over her stomach, thumbs rubbing the spot where she fell.

"Are you alright or not?" Levi questioned

"I'm fine."

"Ok, I know why Levi's upset but why're you?" Erwin chimed up

"What's Levi upset about?"

"What else? Y/N."

"Uggggghhh Levvviiiii why don't you just ask her out already?" Hange said

Levi sat up on the bed pulling his feet into his chest. Shoes long gone, pushed up against the wall as soon as they'd walked into the room.

"I'm not talking about this shit anymore this week."

"Levi, if we're staying here all of this week and next then chances are she's also staying here all week and next. Which means somewhere in here is a perfect opportunity to-"

"Get in her bed." Hange interrupted

"Or something less crass." Erwin suggested "You did pack condoms in your emergency undies bag right?"

"Did you pack a spare handle in yours?"

Hange's obnoxious laughter was almost loud enough to muffle the low knocks on the door. Her irritating jabs to Levi's shoulder quickly halting when Levi grabbed her fingers.

"Who is it?" Erwin asked, one hand on the door.

"It's Y/N.."

Now Hange stopped laughing. Erwin shrugged as he looked back at both of them before pulling the door open.

"Hey, here." Y/N sounded filled with fatigue as she handed over a small bottle to Erwin.

"Oh! Thank you! Where'd you get this?" Erwin smiled with delight immediately flopping back down next to his bag.

"Jean carries around extra strength glue because Connie always manages to break something fragile." Y/N replied "I doubt it'll work but maybe it'll help a little?"

Erwin nodded happily as Y/N turned to look at Hange. Her hands balled up and her fingers fidgeting where she was pulling at them.

"How's your rib Hange?"

"It's ok now, thanks for asking."

Y/N nodded and at this moment everyone in the room was looking at Levi who automatically felt extremely naked.

"Levi um.. can I talk to you? In the hall?"

Levi didn't know if he had nodded in his head or in real life but he was swiftly moving across the room. Passing Y/N where she stood and then holding the door open as she walked out just behind him. The door shut behind the two of them and if Levi felt naked before the feeling out here was somehow worse.

"What happened?"

Levi could hear the slightly muffled footsteps on the other side of the door and even a whispered Hange as Y/N spoke. His hands felt both too dry and wet all at once as he looked into her mildly menacing gaze.

"Wh- where wh-when.."

"You barely said anything to me after I brought the cream for your forehead. What happened? Did I do something wrong?"

Oh god how can she possibly assume that? Levi felt his stomach clench. He had never had it easy with text, which was why he pretty much always called everyone.

"I-I didn't mean.. it um.." He shuffled his feet a bit now remembering that he still had no shoes on.

Y/N sighed. "I wanna be your friend Levi. Please tell me you want that too."

With a deep breath he replied, "Call me."

"When?"

"Anytime.. I'm a bad t-texter.."

When her facial features softened Levi felt his shoulders finally sag for the first time since he'd heard her name in the lobby. "Ok.. oh ok, that's all it was? I thought I did something wrong. I'm glad we talked."

And Levi was barely registering her hands wrapping around his shoulders. Her body pressing oh so comfortably close to his. Hand sliding over his back, scent overwhelming his nose. And then just as soon it was all being taken away.

"I'll call you, ok?"

"Ok.." Levi's hand was still waving long after she'd already disappeared out of plain view.

"Oh god you're her friend!" Hange laughed the door suddenly yanked open behind Levi.

"It's as cute as it is sad." Erwin clicked his teeth.

"Tch, shut up." Levi stomped back into the room.

"Levi, you're in the friendzone!" Hange huffed as Erwin shut the door. "And if you don't get out of it. You're gonna be the short shoulder to cry on when some big dude with an invalid drivers license, a shit ton of tattoos and a porn addiction breaks her heart."

"That's oddly specific.." Erwin retorts

"All of you keep assuming I wanna be her boyfriend. I don't!"

Erwin rolled his eyes, "That tall guy that she was with actually. I think he'll be the guy who has her running to Levi's shoulder."

"Oh you mean Jean?" Hange nods "But they broke up a while ago."

"Then why is she still hanging out with him?"

"He's Sasha and Connie's best friend. So they've all known each other a while. They're a set, don't separate type deal."

"Then it's only logical that Y/N will marry Jean someday. You know if they all stay so close."

"Yup, definitely."

"You can both eat shit."

~~~~

Day one

Levi strained awake, blinded by the harsh sunlight stabbing his eyes through the uncovered window. He couldn't even remember when he'd fallen asleep last night but he could already tell it was too early for everyone else to be awake.

He could recall a couple things from last night. Hange overstaying her welcome in his room, Erwin suggesting that Hange pay for his fucked up luggage and somethings he would rather not think about.

Preferably the others joining in his room to discuss breakfast plans. At which Sasha had suggested the diner they had already planned to go to early in the morning. Levi's heart sank as he recalled Y/N's gorgeous smile directed to Jean who had stood behind her rubbing her shoulders and whispering in her ear.

He squeezed his eyes shut, standing from his bed and immediately working to straighten out the sheets before eyeing the book he'd unpacked last night.

Maybe he could get some reading done before Hange inevitably came to annoy him.

The one he was currently holding was of a dog wearing a big floppy hat in the mist of sunflowers. He quickly matched it with his black and white sweatpants. And with a small sigh he headed to the bathroom.

He thumbed at the spine of the book, sliding his finger between the pages to the current bookmark. A shower would probably be a better start to the morning though. He set the book down unzipping one of his bags and pulling out the first pair of clothing folded at the top. Levi hadn't remembered packing one of his mother's many silly birthday gifts to him. She had always bought him shirts with pictures on them that confused him.

He didn't even remember the last time he'd had a shower that was hot for more than five minutes. Or the last time he could look down at his feet without seeing a hair monster in the drain.

He took a couple extra minutes to completely wash his hair, combing his fingers through the strands before shutting off the water and quickly getting dressed.

As he reentered his room he remembered the random gaze Jean threw his way. The smirk on his lips, the taunting glare and then just as quickly it was over. And he was talking to her like nothing had happened.

Levi had never once in his entire life thought about having a girlfriend. It just wasn't something that absorbed his thoughts but he knew the second he saw that smirk on Jean's face what he wanted to be to Y/N.

He just couldn't imagine how.

His fluffy towel hugged his head as he popped open the book he'd discarded a couple minutes ago. He pulled his feet in closer to his body tracing the letters on the page, delving into the story-

"Levi!"

Two fucking seconds.. that had to be a new record.

A barrage of harsh knocks sounded outside his door and he yanked it open to see Hange standing there out of breath with a barely alive looking Erwin behind her. Excitement flooding her features as she pushed past Levi with Erwin in tow. A blue toothbrush almost falling from his lips.

"You couldn't let him finish brushing his fucking teeth?" Levi grunted, shutting the door behind the two of them. Erwin sighed his eyes shut, toothbrush dangling from his mouth. "Why're you here?"

"We're all going for breakfast remember?"

"Not for another thirty minutes." Levi narrowed his eyes and leaned back against the tv table.

Hange smiled, "Yup and that means we have enough time to figure out a game plan to get you and Y/N together by the end of today." Hange clapped excitedly though both Erwin and Levi couldn't possibly look less enthused.

"I don't need your help."

"Erwin, back me up here!"

"I'm not doing shit since you didn't let me spit and I had to swallow toothpaste." Erwin remarked, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

Levi's face scrunched up and Hange let out a snort. "Why did you swallow it.. you could've just spit it out in the hall or something."

"That's fucking disgusting." Levi grunted

"Why the hell would I do that?" Erwin asked

"You're not supposed to swallow toothpaste duh!"

Everyone huffed all at once and Levi flopped down next to Erwin on the bed. "If I need any help I'll ask.." He mumbled already feeling heat fly to his cheeks.

"We're finally gonna get you a girlfriend Levi!!" Hange squeezed his body in a tight hug.

Just as Levi was about to push her away a couple of soft knocks sounded on his door again, "We're leaving a little earlier, hurry and come downstairs."

~~~~

Before the car had even pulled up back at the lodge Hange was already screaming about going skiing. Erwin had asked if Levi wanted to which he'd replied with a scoff.

"Really? Cause there are plenty of chances for Y/N to fall on you. Or you to fall on her." He shrugged.

Levi just rolled his eyes and at that Erwin gave up and now he was standing at the freezing cold railing watching everyone go down the stupid slope for what had to have been an hour or so. How'd he end up with bag watch? He didn't even wanna come outside.. He blew on his fingers trying and falling to warm them. At this point he felt exhausted, absolutely none of his clothes were keeping him warm.

With a sigh he pulled Hange and Erwin's bags up onto his shoulder along with Sasha and Connie's belongings. If he could manage to get upstairs he could warm up at least a little. A hot cup of tea practically beckoning him.

It took him only a couple seconds to realize he didn't have Y/N's bag. He looked around for a couple seconds. Did she bring a bag outside? Did he lose her bag?? He'd only left once to got to the bathroom. Did someone steal it.. Shit. He grumbled in disgust. Where could he have left it?

Feeling a bit panicked he headed towards the stairs. Blood running cold, his eyes practically bouncing out of his skull. His heart stopped at the display in front of him. Jean's hand on Y/N's waist as she leaned forward on the railing. Their lips pressed together..

(Hey Siri, play Heartbreak Anniversary by Giveon.)

#aot x reader #hard pass #attack on titan levi #levi ackerman scenario #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi aot #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #levi ackerman #shingeki no kyoujin levi

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blindingdutchy · 3 years

Text

lamentation | SIX

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 3,804

warnings: fluff. lots of fluff. a sprinkle of angst but just a tiny bit.

18+!!! minors stay away!

The following morning at school you relieved to see Peter standing at your locker, appearing unscathed aside from the timid and fearful look in his eye as he watched you approach him. You knew that he was probably expecting you to shut him out again, though you were full of surprises that morning when you breathed a quiet sigh and felt all the remaining anger purge from your system entirely. In reality you had been planning to give him a piece of your mind, telling him just how much of an idiot you thought that he was for his stupid idea, but seeing him sent all those thoughts flying away in an instant.

Instead, all that you could think of was how happy you were to see that he was okay. He was tense as you opened your locker, but seemed to relax slightly when you gave him a fleeting once over and nodded to yourself in approval. Peter was standing and didn't look to be in any pain, and that was all you cared about in that moment.

Apparently Peter was full of surprises too, because the second that you closed your locker he pulled you into a bone crushing hug that quite literally knocked the wind out of you. You gasped quietly, freezing in place at the sudden contact, before you slowly melted into his grip and hugged him back. He somehow managed to squeeze you tighter at the return of the embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into your hair, "I'm so, so, so sorry."

A part of you wondered if Peter even knew what exactly he was apologizing for, if he really understood just why you were upset. Did he know the sorts of things that had crossed your mind last night? Could he really fathom all the crazy emotions you had been feeling?

You didn't think he did. Really, how could he, when even you were still reeling and trying to pinpoint all the different reasons you had been so upset? There were the obvious reasons--like the horrible flashbacks to that fateful day when your sister had been tragically killed--but there were also more complex, subtle reasons that you weren't ready to admit out loud.

Things like the fact that you'd never been so enraged about anything as you had been at the thought of somebody hurting Peter Parker. Not even the animosity you felt toward the Avengers could compare to the fury you had felt while listening to him fight and be attacked by those men. It puzzled you; how could that affect you so much?

You knew why, despite your unwillingness to face the truth. You knew, deep down, that you had been so upset because the thought of Peter being hurt scared you nearly as much as you had been that day. It pained you to think of it, and that was a problem.

It was a problem because being friends with Peter, when he lived the life that he did, meant constantly living in that fear. He was a superhero, constantly putting his life on the line for all the innocent people of Queens and the world alike, and that was absolutely terrifying for you. And yet, for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to push him away like you felt you should.

He pulled away from you slowly, though he kept his hands firmly on your shoulders, and studied your face closely as he asked, "Are you okay? Are we okay?"

Hearing Peter say the word we in reference to himself and you gave you a funny feeling, but you ignored it. "Are you okay?" you parroted, instead, raising your eyebrows challengingly.

"Yes." he stated without hesitation, "I had some bruising, but it's mostly gone now. It wasn't as bad as it sounded, I swear."

You hummed quietly, leading the way to Calculus as he finally released his iron-like grip on your arms. "And was there a reason you didn't come to my window?" you questioned further, glancing back at the boy who chewed his lower lip anxiously.

Peter didn't answer until the two of you had sat in your seats, leaning close to speak in a hushed tone that no one else could hear, "I didn't want to scare you."

The sharp remark was instantly at the tip of your tongue, wanting to spit at him that he already had, repeatedly, but you held back at the sight of his big, brown, puppy eyes blinking at you shyly. He was fiddling with his fingers apprehensively, clearly waiting for some sort of remark, and it gave you pause. This was Peter, and Peter wouldn't hurt a fly intentionally.

You had to keep reminding yourself of that. Reminding yourself that he didn't mean to scare you like he had, and that he meant well even if his intentions didn't quite land right. So, you just whispered back, "It scared me when you didn't show up, and you didn't say anything."

"I--I didn't know if you wanted me to."

Catching one of his fretting hands in your own, you gave him a serious look as you replied, "I always want you to."

The teacher called the class to attention immediately after you closed your mouth, and you turned away with burning cheeks at the star-struck look on Peter's face. Perhaps that had been too bold of a statement, but it was the truth; you did always want to hear from Peter. You always wanted to know if he was okay, even if all he had to say to you was a bland text to let you know he'd survived another night of patrol.

Now, after all the things you had heard, you hoped he'd take your words seriously and let you in like you had for him. Could you go to sleep every night without knowing for sure he had made it through the night unscathed? Easily, the answer was no. You couldn't, and you really wanted him to put your mind at ease.

After gym class, which was spent with you panting whilst running sprints with Peter pretending to be just as winded, he held your bag for you beside your locker and waited patiently for you to exchange your books. You could tell that something was on his mind from the way he shifted from foot to foot nervously, and growing tired of having to chase your bag around, you asked, "What's your deal, Pete?"

He blinked at the nickname, but after a moment finally found his voice again, "Sit with me at lunch?"

"Okay?"

"No, like, sit with Ned, MJ, and I." he reiterated, and you wrinkled your nose. "Come on, I promise they'll love you! There's really nothing to be scared of, (Y/N)."

You opened your mouth to argue, to tell him that there were in fact a million reasons for you to be scared, but he pouted his lips like a child and pleaded with you silently until you caved, "Fine, fuck, just stop making that face!"

And so, you found yourself trailing through the cafeteria awkwardly in Peter's shadow. You could feel the stares on your body even though you refused to look, the stares of all your fellow students watching the resident crazy girl make her way through the cafeteria all year. You usually sat at the table right by the doors and the garbage cans, the one place you could slip in and out without making a spectacle of yourself, but Peter's usual table was all the way in the back of the large room.

There sat Ned Leeds and Michelle Jones, both of whom were watching you curiously as you looked back at them in discomfort. You'd never known them to be mean--well, Michelle could mean in her blunt manner--but that didn't ease your nerves at all. The fear you felt wasn't because you were weary of their judgment.

You were scared of letting more people into your life. More attachments meant more for you to lose, and after all that you had lost, you were rather unwilling to put yourself out there. It was a surprise enough to yourself and probably everyone else that you'd made room in your caged heart for Peter. He was perhaps the most dangerous of all to let in, yet you had.

"Hey, (Y/N), right?" Ned greeted cheerfully, doing a weird handshake with Peter as the two of you sat down across from him and MJ. You just nodded, not trusting your voice to come out should you dare to speak. "How was the Stark Internship, dude?"

Your face pinched in puzzlement, and Peter chuckled at the way you glanced at him curiously. "She knows, Ned." he muttered, nudging your knee with his own as he pulled a smashed sandwich from his bag and unwrapped it. "It was... rough. I handled it, though."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the Stark Internship was a cover story for Peter's secret identity. "She knows? You told her, already?" MJ gaped, "No offense, but I had to figure that shit out for myself."

As Ned and MJ stared at Peter incredulously, the two of you shared a look as you begged him not to say anything and he scrambled to think of any sort of a cover story. "She--she helped me one night when I got hurt pretty bad. Had to take my mask off." he finally blurted, stumbling over his words, and you noticed how his eyes squeezed shut for a moment in frustration at his lame answer.

"Why didn't you call one of us?" Ned interrogated, eyes flickering between your own and Peter's as if he were trying to pick up on any dishonesty.

MJ, blunt as always, just asked, "Is that why you started following her around like a dog?"

You had to chuckle when Peter pouted, sticking his tongue out at Michelle's remark and whining, "I did not follow her around like a dog!"

"You kind of did." you mumbled quietly. All three of them stared at you in stunned silence for a few seconds, shocked by your sudden interjection, and you busied yourself with rearranging your carrot sticks.

Peter's knee bumped yours again, and you nudged his back. He shot you a little smile, pleased with you making an effort even if it was thoughtless, and you found yourself relaxing slightly under his gaze as MJ and Ned continued to joke about how much Peter had embarrassed himself following you around. "Remember when he threw all of his shit on the ground in Calculus?" Ned sputtered through laughter.

The brown-haired boy's cheeks blazed red at the story, and you found yourself laughing along with his two friends as you remembered it. At the time it had only embarrassed you, but now as you looked back on it, you couldn't help but to find it endearing. So, you nudged his knee again and bit back the grin fighting its way onto your face as you kept your eyes on your lunch.

Suddenly, he put his hand on your knee and squeezed it softly, and your entire body seemed to burst into flames. Before you could pull away, scared of the intense feeling it gave you, a voice cut above all the rest, "Penis Parker!"

His hand was gone in an instant, but you remained hot for an entirely different reason. Flash Thompson sauntered up to the table with his typical smug smirk, calling again, "Hey, Penis Parker! Finally find a girl miserable enough to settle for you?"

Peter's face turned red and pinched into a frown, but he just muttered quietly, "Go away, Flash."

"Figures you'd go for (Y/N). The whole dead family thing, right? Does she just get you?"

You tensed, turning your head slowly to glare up at Flash with a ferocity that seemed to even make him falter, though he hid it quickly behind his usual mask. "Go the fuck away, Eugene." you hissed, but he just laughed.

Seeing that he wasn't planning on going anywhere, punctuated by the way he propped his foot up on one of the seats and sneered down at you, you quickly grabbed all of your stuff and stood up. Peter, Ned, and MJ were quick to follow, and all four of you made your way out of the cafeteria as Flash shouted, "Aw, did I hurt your feelings, Penis Parker?"

"Peter?" you called after him, trailing behind as he walked at a brisk pace. Ned and MJ disappeared around a corner, heading off in a different direction, and you were trying to catch up with the boy who seemed eager to shake you off. "Pete?"

He slowed, sighing quietly, and turned to face you with still red cheeks and eyes swimming with anger. "What?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Briefly, you felt hurt at his attitude, but you brushed it off. You knew that he was just frustrated at Flash, and you were no stranger to misplaced anger. It would have been pretty hypocritical of you to be upset with him after how long he'd put up with you lashing out at him when he just wanted to be your friend.

You walked toward him hesitantly, almost reaching out to hug him, but you thought better of it in the end. You didn't want to push things too far, too fast, and one hug was more than enough for one day. Instead, you rocked back on your heels and asked, "Walk me to class?"

Peter blinked at the question, clearly expecting you to say something else, and after a moment nodded. "Yeah, yeah, let's go." He didn't relax at all as he walked beside you through the still empty halls, though his hand kept bumping yours every now and then, and for a fleeting second outside of your classroom he squeezed your hand before dropping it and walking away.

The rest of the day, Peter was stiff and aloof. He barely talked to you during Speech class, though that didn't really matter considering Ms. Lovell actually lectured that day, but you could tell he was upset. It felt a little strange to suddenly switch roles; he was now playing the part of the closed off one, and you were left trying to figure out how to get through to him.

Making people feel better wasn't exactly your strong suit anymore. Once upon a time it had been, but since your sister's death you'd seemingly lost the ability to even make yourself better. Yet, you wanted more than anything to get him back to the smiling, happy boy he'd been earlier that day.

As the two of you packed up your things after class to go home, you watched him anxiously to see if he'd finally say something, but he didn't. So, you cleared your throat and quietly asked, "Do you want to hang out?"

He paused for a moment, staring down at his bag in silence with tensed shoulders and creased brows, before finally looking up at you and giving the tiniest smile. "Come on." was all he said, zipping his bag and waiting expectantly for you to follow him out of the classroom.

You followed him out of the building, to the subway, onto the subway, and off of it again, all without a single clue as to where you were going. It wasn't until the he lead you into an apartment building that you realized he was taking you to his house, and suddenly you were extremely nervous. "Do you live here?" you asked, immediately cringing at the stupid question.

He just laughed, "Yeah. My Aunt May is home, she'll probably offer you food, but just say no. Trust me."

For a moment you wanted to ask why, but then you remembered how he'd told you when he'd first started following you around that his Aunt May was a truly atrocious cook. Except for cherry pie, it seemed, because he'd raved to you about that over the phone for what felt like hours the other day. Nodding affirmatively, you replied, "Right, just say no."

Peter's home life was far different from your own, even before the incident. His aunt was a bright, lively young woman who was very excited to meet you, and just as much of an affectionate person as you were finding Peter to be. She'd been overjoyed to meet you, letting slip that Peter had told her lots about you, but he'd cut her off before she could ramble about the things he'd said.

Part of you wondered if he'd told her how the two of you had met, but you knew better than to think Peter would do such a thing. He wasn't the type of person to spill others' secrets. How could he, when he had such a big secret of his own?

His room was everything you had expected it to be, though. A cramped little room with bunk beds adorning Star Wars sheets, LEGOs everywhere, and a plethora of computer parts littering every possible surface. He blushed a little as you took it all in, stammering when you smirked at the sheets in amusement, but overall he seemed relieved when you didn't mention the clutter.

It was very Peter Parker. Messy, slightly chaotic, and very nerdy. You sat on the bottom bunk, which you deciphered to be his by the rumpled sheets, and watched as he awkwardly tried to sort out the mess a little. "So," you started, "why don't you stand up to Flash at school?"

He sighed, giving up on his tidying and sitting beside you. "I knew you would ask that." he joked, though the humor didn't quite meet his eyes. "It's a long story."

"I have time, Pete." you spoke softly, and a little smile twitched at his lips.

He raked a hand through his messy hair, the combed style starting to curl from a long day, and you wondered what his hair looked like with nothing done to it. "Well, I guess it all goes back to when I first got... my abilities. You know, after the bite, I kinda went crazy for a bit. I was determined to prove myself, or something--I don't know. I just showed off a lot and got myself into a lot of trouble because of it."

Peter continued when you looked at him expectantly, "My Uncle Ben was going crazy too, trying to figure out what was going on with me. We got into a lot of fights before he--before he, um, died. We got into one the night he died."

"He tried to stop me from going out because he just knew I was going to do something I shouldn't, and we just got into this huge argument. It ended with me telling him he wasn't my dad and to stop pretending he was, and I ran off." He was getting choked up, stumbling over his words and gripping his knees with his hands as tears welled up in his eyes at the memories.

Hesitantly, you put your hand on top of his, and he was quick to flip his hand over and grip yours tightly as if he were afraid you'd pull away from him. As he spoke, it was starting to sink in just how much Peter truly could understand your anguish over your sister. He could understand why you blamed yourself, because he too had blamed himself, and your heart broke at the thought of Peter ever being in a position like the one you'd been in that night.

Had he ever tried to do what you had planned to do? Your own eyes burned at the thought, and you squeezed his hand back just as tightly. "He came looking for me, and happened to interrupt a robbery. Uncle Ben, he--he was a really good guy. He couldn't just let the guy get away. So, he uh, he tried to stop him... and the guy stabbed him."

"I'd seen the robbery before that, but I'd been so angry I just kept walking. I could have stopped it before Uncle Ben ever showed up, but I didn't, and he got stabbed because of it." Peter coughed to stop himself from really crying, "The last thing he said to me was that with great power comes great responsibility, and I just can't let him down."

You almost wished that you hadn't asked, because it hurt to see him in so much pain, but you felt good knowing that Peter really did understand you. You felt closer to him, and a little part of you felt a little less distaste for superheroes in that moment too. Did they all know such tragedy? Did they all suffer such pain, too?

Peter looked at you, blinking away tears as his voice steadied, "So, that's why I don't use Spiderman unless I have to. I didn't stand up for myself before, so I shouldn't now. I didn't play sports before, so I shouldn't now. It wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't be right. I have this gift, and it's my responsibility to use it for good. I can deal with Flash's stupid taunting--I was so upset today because of what he said about you."

The fluttering was back, stronger than ever, and you couldn't shove it aside no matter how hard you tried. The moment was too serious--too heartfelt. It was too close.

Doing what you did best, you created a little more distance to keep your heart safe. You weren't ready to admit that maybe you liked Peter in a not-so-friendly sort of way. You weren't ready to let him into that last little bit of your heart.

So, you joked, "Well, he was right about one thing--I do get you." To your relief, he laughed, though he didn't let go of your hand. You didn't want him to, either.

"Seriously, though, you don't have to worry about me. Flash doesn't bother me, not really anyways." Peter continued, and the pair of you smiled at each other like a couple of love-struck fools for a long moment. Peter, unlike you, wasn't so keen on or capable of hiding his feelings. It was written all over his face for you to see that he liked you, and even if it made you feel good it still made you squirm with discomfort.

You were just thankful that he hadn't tried to take things further, though the subtle touches were probably his timid way of doing just that. The touches you could handle. It was what came after--the truly taking things to that next level part--that scared you. If you told him how you thought you were feeling, and he told you the same, then that just made the possibility of losing him that much worse.

SERIES TAGLIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton @zendayasfwb @sweet-symphony

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ughwhyislifelikethis · 2 years

Text

Guess I might as well do this here since it's a bit more personal/honest than I might want some irl friends to see - and bc I don't want to have to discuss it with them, frankly. I'd rather not lose a friendship over this even though it causes me to be somewhat hurt or whatever. I know, it's not healthy, I should probably not stay friends or whatever, etc but my autistic finally not bullied and excluded ass kinda refuses to be lonely rn and at the end of the day frankly it's not worth it for me personally. Could probably say something about how "saying something about shitty treatment could cause friendships to break up is shit and the queer community needs to do better etc l" but eh. Not the point.

Also, the wording in this is messy, it's long-winded, it is not explicit in exclusions and if I tried to hit every point of "by this I do not mean this specific form of discussion that falls under bigotry" it would be too fucking long, and it is already. So if you're gonna be like "Mra! you're being transmisogynist!" Or soemthing (I have no idea how you're gonna get transmisogyny from this considering I literally only talk about this in the context of cis people's views on me as a transmasculine person and I do my best to avoid things that could be interpreted badly so that that doesn't happen but watch it happen somehow. The mra thing I could see how twisting my words here could get but I do not and will not ever excuse or condone bigotry or sexism or etc under the guise of "MRA bullshit". Just bc I'm saying maybe you should think critically about how cis men are expected and asked to behave in society and how that affects them does not mean I'm saying go fix them or excuse the shitty behavior exhibited.)

I think that covers all of it, idk. Don't really care with how damn long this is and y'know, it being a vent post that's secondarily maybe helpful for explaining experiences to others and also for getting stuff worked out in my own head.

Anyways. My actual point.

I really do think some of the reason it took me so damn long to realize I was trans and specifically a trans guy is because of transandrophobia I heard offline and online. To be crystal clear - the people I'm talking about hearing it from were fucking cis. Hell, even I used to derogatorily mutter "boys" in middle school because the cis boys in my class were assholes and I wasn't great at the whole "wider picture thing". I'd barely started coming into my own awareness - honestly I think it had started fifth grade when I actually felt like a fucking person. My memories kinda really start there - everything else earlier is a blur. Saying "girls" in the same way felt wrong, bc it is, and also highlights the if it's wrong for one why exactly isn't it wrong for the other? so I didn't do it more than a few times, but I also was very confused for a while as to why I felt a separation from the things, why I didn't feel lumped in with the girls "like I should".

Again, I digress. I was saying how I as a middle schooler used to buy into the whole "fuck (not literally) boys" thing that's really popular at that age. Or maybe that was me. Idk, being ace also affected things. (The correct thing to do there would be to actually address the bullying and shit not just ignore it bc the victim is an autistic adhd middle schooler with very few coping skills and a severe lack of ability to mask.) (Also the whole "he bullies you bc he likes you is a whole topic I could probably go into about how no parties deserve that excuse bc it teaches young cis boys extremely unhealthy behaviors and also teaches cis girls that they should take it bc it's a crush, etc but again not the point. I'm ADHD, did I mention that?)

Okay. Hopefully onto the rest of my point.

Growing up afab, I was taught a lot about how "boys are". They're mean because they crush on you, you wont be chastised for saying something derogatory about an entire group of people (who aren't doing it bc of their gender but because they're assholes and the teachers didn't feel like stopping them from being assholes. Or something. There's probably an intersection of ableism there truth be told), you won't be allowed to play hockey but do figure skating it's safer! (And less boyish). Don't be like your tomboy cousins, they're gonna have to grow out of it and we'll reward that behavior when it occurs and push for less of tomboyish behavior too. Shave your legs, wear dresses, don't "look like a boy."

Don't try and "look like a boy". Not just because apparently I'm supposed to be a "girl" but "don't look like a boy."

Apparently, It's gross. Unhygenic, don't you know boys never clean up after themselves? It's undesirable to look like a boy as an afab person but ultimately for me it was taboo to even want to look like a boy.

And like, I get that there's the whole patriarchy thing and that rich cis white abled men who have no other form of intersectional oppression issues tend to be in power and all that. I'm not disputing that.

But for trans men, or at least, this one?

I was told it was bad to look like a boy or to want anything to do with being one.

And I think, honestly, there was an implied "it's a step down for you" with it.

And maybe that had something to do with growing up when a lot of the "girl power! Stuff was taking off". Maybe parents, teachers, etc were just trying to honesly say I didn't need to "step up" to be worthwhile because girls aren't lesser, and that's true. No gender inherently (structure of the world aside, in a world where bigotry isn't a thing etc) is better or worse than any other.

But I didn't hear "I don't need to step up".

I heard "you shouldn't step down, because you're valuable as you are and this would be leaving that all behind for the "easy" road of cis privilege" . And yeah, I have and always will benefit from white privilege, and able-bodied, unless something changes and I'm no longer able-bodied. But I will never be seen as either non queer (deliberately, because I want to be a safe place for queer kids to find, or for queer people in general looking for a friend) or noncis, probably. I'll never, ever be "stepping up". There's a good chance I'll always read something, because I'm autistic, I'm queer, I'm ADHD, and something will probably ring cis people's bells to say "something is off".

And I didn't - don't, as much as I'm working through it - want to "step down". It is so tempting to just recloset myself and live with the dysphoria and go after the scholarships I see aimed at cis women, the internships for that. But I can't. Because I can't even imagine just. Even stepping toward the closet. I couldn't keep the lie that I'm cis and a women up. Pandora's box was opened and I am unable to close it.

So I'll never benefit from those. And I'm stuck in the position where I can't seek out the trans specific ones because I'm not out to my parent, who I live with. And I love him to death, I do, but hearing "why do you want to look like a boy" from him hurts so damn much.

This got really long, sorry. I'm almost done.

I mentioned way above, how I used to mutter "boys" when I thought boys were being ridiculous and stupid or whatever. I've heard my friends say "men" like that and it stings, every time. Do you really think that I'm like this asshole you're talking about? That specific man is an asshole, true, but I can point you to 3 others off the top of my head who aren't. And I know there's a shit ton of shitty men out there. The point is I'm upset you automatically assume that I'm one of them even if you don't really realize that. I'm a man. I'm not cis, but I'm a man. You will pass me on the street and if you don't see the trans, you'll lump me in with the other men in your head who you will toss out a derogatory "why are men?" To.

So maybe it's a struggle because I know causing a fuss to that will get a "I'm talking about cis men" which isn't actually better. I'm a man cis or not and cis men can be good, actually. I know a good few and I'm sick of knowing that even saying that gets seen as "not all men!" Type bullshit. No, maybe I just want you to not assume my cis guy friends aren't total pieces of shit because they were born cis men. Maybe I hesitate(d) to label myself a man because I know that will downgrade their opinion on me, consciously or otherwise, if I made it a point for them to remember it.

I've definitely lost a few trains of thoughts I wanted to post somejwre here and there but anyways. Yeah. Here's a vent post and here's why the form of transphobia I specifically face because I am a trans MAN is a thing I deal with and would like to stop hearing that it doesn't exist.

I think I may make a post about how the whole concept of viewing the other gender as alien or another species isn't/wasn't just limited to cis boys about cis girls and how that ties into transandrophobia specifically (it also ties into transmisogyny I think? But I'm gonna talk about it/ramble about it in the context of transandrophobia) next but it definitely won't fit here cause this is too long already.

#step down thing #failed women #you just want to step up in the world #transandrophobia truther #transandrophobia #transmisandry #trans man #trans men #trans guy #im kinda done being told things i went through dont exist actually #and idk if these sorts of things are just me or not could be tbh #i hadnt really heard about the whole and its a specific family thing i think #i think most of the time people do experience the thing or accusations #but i...didnt so.#yeah.#vent post #all my posts are gonna be vent type posts here but im making a point especially since this blog got hit with gr #its gonna be fucking messy im not gonna be polite and im gonna try and word things so they dont come off badly but at the end of the day #this is for sorting through some feelings and shit and like if you're gonna pick through it to find something wrong just....dont. please.#at the end of the day id like to be able to vent without having it also have to be educational or activistic #sometimes i just want to yell fuck you into the void

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