#i do really well for myself

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!) #so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!) #when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :] #idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #mine

[sasswonfp]

This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

#superman #batman #the flash #flash #wally west #bruce wayne #clark kent #justice leauge unlimited #justice league #abruptly I was hit with this joke when I made one abt myself being always 2 seconds away from crying and realised it worked oh so well #i had so much fun drawing this #esp bc i was really trying to find a good medium between my style and the jlu style #super blocky but also a bit more realistic than jlu #batman is so shape and i fucking love it #literally i just drew his outline i didn't even bother with the rest of it #gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object #this is my first time ever doing like an actual attempt at dc- #homegrown art

[marcooze]

There's alot of terfs posing as transmascs in the transmasc tags rn, so i just wanna make it clear to those who follow me: - Yes transmascs have transmasc specific issues - No that does not mean we are inherently more oppressed than transfems - Yes we deserve to have a term for it for ease of discussion - No it does not oppress anyone to have such a term - Yes, alot of people have flawed views on transmasc issues - No, this is not the fault of transfems Now more than ever we need to uplift ourselves and our fellow siblings with "out-of-the-norm" gender identities. Please Please Please be wary of posts making generalizations like "Transfems dont want us to have-" "Transmascs are just taking away from-" Thats just bait trying to pit us against eachother, please block people like this.

Minors/Younger Trans people especially, please know, our enemy and oppressors are not eachother! Think long and hard about who exactly benefits when we spend our time hurting eachother instead of lifting eachother up and fighting as a united group.

#transmasc #transandrophobia #trans solidarity #i hope i worded that well #im really tired of having to defend myself #and im really tired of seeing other trans people blaming eachother for our own issues #even in the positivity tags i see people bashing on the “other” #like do you know what you sound like? #being trans doesnt exempt you from being transphobic

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

[tagerrkix]

#great choice beelzebub! #aw man I always liked this meme #glad I finally got to draw my own version uwu #would you believe me if I told you it was gleafer's recent comic that inspired me to do this 👉👈 #well it was #if you know you know #if you don't then ignore this 👁️👁️ #azirah the terrah *wheeze* #yea I don't really have anything more to say #I just had this irresistable urge to write azirah the terrah at least once in my life #now it's twice #bahahaha #*yeets myself out the window and flies to alpha centauri* #ineffable bureaucracy #good omens beelzebub #good omens gabriel #good omens #good omens fanart #good omens memes

[kitamars]

gins and ginhiji

#THESE ARE ALL OLDER DOODLES bC i have no time to draw for myself bc of school AAAAAA #i thought the workload would gradually increase but NO i got hit with trucks full of brucks right off the bat #anyways. im still alive. somehow #hope you all are doing well eeeeee #i wanna do more paintings and i do have some #just really rough #you’ll see them all eventually i guess #wahoo COLOURS #anyways #sakata gintoki #hijikata toushirou #gintoki x hijikata #ginhiji #hijikata x gintoki #hijigin #gintama #ok bye

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose #raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner #leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes #(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl) #(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink) #(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him) #but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone #like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like #‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’ #or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like #‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’ #‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’ #‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’ #‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘ #SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF #(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts - Halloween Town

#kingdom hearts #kh1 #halloween town #scenery #my gif #not sure if i ever really registered that the sky is red when you're in the town #as well as all of the background noises that constantly play. from snarling dogs to weird scurrying and strange laughter #i had to talk myself out of the idea of doing a quick replay of this game so that i could include oogie boogie's manor #because it's such an intricately designed location. they really went all out on it but it disappears after you defeat him #i felt so unsatisfied leaving it out of this set #so i elected to just use shots from some cutscenes and painted out any characters in the way #saved me so much time and it worked out quite well #i have a couple of other gifs from this world that i'll save for halloween since that's coming up next month :]

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[sysig]

Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Handplates #You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol #Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too! #It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults! #Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times #He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face #Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D #I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol #Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck #Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite #But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol #Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo #Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol #I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together #I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol #The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol #Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe #Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad #Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha #Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

#Chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #analysis #HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY #You know what yeah understandable have a good day #Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm #Anyways I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s #How he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺 #I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many #Compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol #He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!! #I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers #He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help #Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’ #Is nice in his opinion #This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost… #OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level. #‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc #Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

#ask me #anon #once AGAIN. #I am not dropping anything #the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again #But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year #In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related #I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped #And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it #I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas. #Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop #Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas #But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now #But I didn't because I'm TIRED #I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired #what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen #drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter #it can really make you freak out #And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will #I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my #followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm #disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing #you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere #I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.

[mizunoir]

stargazing ⭐

happy [late] laven week!

#dgm #laven #lavenweek2023 #lavi #allen walker #lavi bookman #d. gray man #I really promised myself I will do at least one artwork for laven week this year #i hope everyone is doing well in the laven fam #wanted to do the happy artwork but i'm not really in a happy place lately #anyways it was supposed to be ready for day 4: night + stars but alas #i am just glad i managed to do anything even though i missed all of the possible deadlines ;; #mizunoir

[ansleof]

Someone needs to stop me from making so many animal AUs LMAO

Anyways here's the life gang as deer because!!! deer are cool!!! I'm pretty proud of the species choices if I do say so myself :]

#trafficblr #inthelittlewood #goodtimeswithscar #grian #tangotek #impulsesv #pearlescentmoon #bdoubleo100 #zombiecleo #ethoslab #bigbstatz #ldshadowlady #smallishbeans #solidaritygaming #jimmy solidarity #smajor1995 #dangthatsalongname #rendog #yes i gave pearl fangs i think she deserves them <3 #really proud of myself for assigning bdubs as the second smallest species of deer. look at that guy #i did assign mumbo a species but then realized id have to draw a deer with a mustache and. i didnt really want to do that #ALSO!!! I LOVE REEVES MUNTJAC #AND IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW WELL IT FITS TANGO #sad that i didnt get to have my fav deer species in here but tufted deer have very iconic eyebrows and none of these guys do so #rocketdoodles