#i don't understand how it's my fault for trusting the adults i was told i could and needed to trust. like give me a break | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steddieas-shegoes · 1 year

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Request: Hop & Joyce don't really like or trust Steve & he knows it. He can tell by their behavior towards him. Post spring break from Hell, Steve tears into them both after they insinuate that it's his fault for the kids being hurt. Steve YELLING at them in front of the party bc he is injured more grievously than the kids & he once again protected them, to the detriment of himself.

Joyce & Hop are forced to acknowledge that their behavior was cruel. And they have to apologize but Steve doesn't accept their apology straight away.

I am usually such a sucker for Hopper adopting Steve and treating him as his own that this was really difficult. Like, maybe top 5 most difficult things I have ever written. It's kind of short, but I wanted more of the focus to be on people standing up for Steve and Steve standing up for himself than the actual angsty part. My darling, I hope it lives up to expectations! -Mickala ❤️

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“I guess I just don’t understand how Max ended up like this if Steve was supposed to be protecting them all.”

Joyce’s words echoed in Steve’s head.

She was whispering to Hopper in the waiting room, but it was surprisingly quiet, and easy to hear just about anything.

The kids were asleep on the couches, waiting for any news on Max or Eddie, but the nurses told them it could be hours. Hours were a long time to wait when someone was bleeding out and the other someone had multiple broken bones and was unconscious.

Steve felt untethered, his connection to the earth cut the moment he saw what happened to Eddie, pushed into a dangerous orbit when he saw what happened to Max.

“He’s never really let me down like this. Did you hear Dustin say he thinks he was distracted by Eddie?” Hopper asked quietly.

“What did he mean by that?” Joyce paused. “Oh. Do you think so?” Steve couldn’t see their faces, couldn’t see the way they were having a silent conversation within a conversation. “It wouldn’t be the first time Steve let his romantic feelings get in the way of their safety.”

And that really wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair because he always put these kids who weren’t even his first whenever he could. It wasn’t fair because it wasn’t his job to be perfect. It wasn’t fair because they were the adults who should have been here to help and they weren’t.

He could feel tears building up, his vision getting just blurry enough that he knew he needed to walk away or he would start actually crying, and he couldn’t let anyone see that.

Especially not Joyce and Hopper.

Apparently, they already thought so little of him, he couldn’t possibly show them that he was struggling now.

“I think we’ll have to have a talk with the kids about trusted adults. They seem to rely on him for a lot and maybe if we just explain to them that Steve can’t handle it-”

“Excuse me, Mr. Hopper?” A nurse, thankfully, interrupted them.

Steve turned to see a young nurse, probably barely older than him, standing in the entranceway to the waiting room.

Hopper walked over to her, actually whispering this time, as if what was being said right now was a secret, but not the way he felt about Steve.

He glanced over at Steve, then nodded to the nurse. He called Joyce over to them, whispered something, then they both looked at Steve.

He hated what was happening. He was used to being a disappointment to adults, but in a silent way. His parents weren’t really ever around long enough to show their disappointment for long. Seeing it now, on the faces of people he respected and wanted to impress, hurt.

Hopper started walking over to him, his face serious.

“They have Max stable. She may not wake up from the coma, but they’re hoping she makes a turn for the better soon. Eddie woke up a few minutes ago while they were trying to stitch him up and he kept yelling for you. He isn’t quite stable yet. He passed back out as they were trying to put him on oxygen.”

“But they’re both alive?”

“For now.”

“Can I see Max?”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea right now. They’re trying to reach her mom, but the phone lines keep going down. I’m standing in as the adult responsible until she can be contacted.”

“So now you want to be the adult responsible? Not any other time when we needed you?” Erica said from behind them.

She’d been asleep with Lucas and El only a minute ago.

“Erica, it’s fine. I’ll just wait with you guys.”

“No, Steve, it’s not fine.” Erica put her hands on her hips, scowled up at Hopper and Joyce, who had just joined them. “Steve looks out for us every day. Even when the world isn’t trying to end. He drives us to school or from school or to the arcade, he pays for our food at the diner all the time, probably spends all his paychecks on us. And where are the parents? They don’t even know where we are most of the time.”

“But-” Joyce started to interrupt until Erica held up her hand.

“You left your kids to fly to Russia when you knew something weird was going on. You could have died, and then what? You know who would have stepped in? Steve. Because that’s what he does for us. Do you know one of his worst concussions was because he was protecting Lucas and Max from Billy? You know he drove Max everywhere she needed to go all year because she didn’t wanna be around anyone else? How about the fact that without him, we wouldn’t have even been able to get Eddie back here? But sure, blame him for this. It totally makes sense to point the finger at the one person who has protected us over and over again.”

Steve was crying.

The other kids were starting to wake up from her voice getting louder as she spoke, and it didn’t take long for them to realize what was happening.

El and Dustin surrounded Steve, cuddling into his sides to comfort him. He needed it, and he was always willing to accept love from the kids. They so rarely gave it, not because they didn’t love him, but because they were at that age where they didn’t want to.

These kids were his in almost every way that mattered, and he was just grateful that they weren’t hesitating when he needed them most.

“You kids could have died. Steve should have never allowed most of this to happen. He’s the adult, and he let you all go into this without even considering you could die.”

“You think we were just gonna sit around and wait for the adults to handle it? When have we ever done that?” Dustin asked incredulously.

“It’s what you should have done. Steve knows that.”

“Mr. Harrington?” A different nurse was standing in the doorway now, older, definitely less nervous.

“Yes?” Steve responded, wiping his tears away quickly.

“Mr. Munson is in a recovery room. He’s woken up a few times for a minute and each time he’s asked for you. Are you family?”

He was pretty certain hospital policy meant only family could go back, especially during natural disasters, so he lied.

“Yes, he’s my cousin. I can’t reach anyone else yet.”

The nurse smiled, though she probably didn’t quite believe him.

“Right this way, then.”

Dustin tugged on his arm.

“Can I come with you?”

“Sorry,” Steve shook his head. “Not yet. Let me check on him, and I’ll come right back out for you.”

“See? This is what I meant about letting his feelings get in the way! What if we weren’t here? Would you just leave the kids to sit out here alone?”

This time, El spoke up.

“Steve is always putting us first. He can put himself first sometimes. That is allowed.”

Steve wanted to hug her again, but the nurse looked like she was going to walk away, and if he didn’t follow her, he wouldn’t see Eddie.

“Go see him, we’ll be here,” Lucas said from next to Erica.

He nodded at them all, giving them a smile before he followed the nurse without looking back at Hopper or Joyce.

Eddie was asleep when they entered the room, so the nurse whispered to him at the door.

“He’s on a lot of morphine, and he’s still receiving a blood transfusion. He may wake up off and on, but he probably won’t make much sense until they lower the dose. Just be here for him,” she smiled before leaving the room.

Steve turned to Eddie and couldn’t hold back more tears.

He’d let him down. He’d let all of them down.

He was supposed to be the hero, despite the jokes about it all, they all knew he was.

But not this time.

Eddie almost died. Max almost died.

He could feel the bat bite on his stomach burning and itching, like it was already getting infected, but he ignored it.

He could wait.

He sat down on the side of the bed, slowly so he wouldn’t wake Eddie up.

But Eddie’s eyes fluttered open once, then twice, then a third time before they managed to stay open enough to see Steve.

“Stevie?” His voice rasped out, a small smile hidden under his oxygen mask. “You’re here.”

“I’m here, Eds.”

He had to be strong, but his brain was so focused on everything he’d done wrong and if he’d just been faster or got out of the vines quicker, Eddie probably wouldn’t be here and Max would be awake and-

“Stop.”

“Hm? Stop what?”

“Bein’ mean.”

Steve’s brows furrowed. He hadn’t even said anything else, had he? Was he so exhausted that he was actually talking without realizing it now?

“I’m not even saying anything.”

Maybe it was Eddie hearing things. He knew morphine was pretty intense.

“To yourself.”

“What?”

“Bein’ mean to yourself. In your head.”

“I-”

“‘S okay. Me too sometimes. Just gotta stop.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at the way Eddie’s eyes kept drooping closed as he spoke. He would probably fall back asleep any second.

“I’ll be nice. You get some sleep.”

“You rest?”

“Not yet. Maybe later.”

Steve couldn’t really rest until he knew everyone was home, safe, and sleeping off some of the worst of their injuries.

“Yes yet.”

Steve snorted. Eddie was so high. He knew it was better than whatever pain he would feel when they eased him off of everything, but hopefully he wouldn’t remember all this.

“Sleep,” Eddie said, his hand managing to find Steve’s and tugging weakly on it.

“I can’t sleep here, Eds. This is your bed.”

“Our bed.”

Steve’s cheeks were hot, he knew if he touched them, they’d feel like fire. Eddie just had that way of completely rendering Steve speechless. He’d done it so many times over the last couple of days, Steve lost count.

“I’ll stay right here until your uncle gets here, okay?”

“And after?”

It probably wasn’t smart. It would look weird for him to stay in general, but he also had to get the kids home, try to patch himself up at home, maybe shower before he did some rounds and made sure everyone was taken care of.

“I have to take care of the kids.”

“But they have parents.”

“Yeah, well.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Hopper walked in, face as serious as Steve had ever seen it.

“I was able to contact your uncle, Eddie. You can go now, Steve.”

But Eddie gripped his hand harder, frowning at Hopper. He seemed more awake all of a sudden, but with the way his eyes kept trying to close, Steve could see it was a challenge.

“I want him here.”

“Eds, it’s fine. He’s not too happy with me right now, so-”

“What? Why? You helped save the world.”

Eddie was looking between Steve and Hopper like an answer would suddenly make itself known, but Hopper was just staring at Eddie, and Steve was just staring at his feet.

He didn’t want to get Eddie involved in this. He just wanted to pretend it never happened, maybe try to look Hopper in the eye again someday, and apologize to Joyce for not keeping the kids as safe as he could have.

But Eddie apparently took the “no running” thing very seriously now.

“Steve? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just. I kinda let them down, didn’t keep everyone safe.”

Steve shrugged it off, but he knew he wasn’t very convincing, or really even shrugging it off. He still felt the ache of disappointing people in his chest.

“Hold the fuck up. You’re serious?”

Eddie sounded as outraged as someone high on morphine could. His voice was barely distorted by the oxygen mask on his face, and his eyes were nearly at their normal size.

Steve couldn’t look at either of them.

“Steve is trusted by all these parents to keep their kids out of danger, and he brought them headfirst into it. It just made Joyce and I wonder how often they were doing stupid things,” Hopper explained, though he didn’t even sound convinced he believed his own words.

Joyce was walking in just as Eddie was about to speak.

“Steve, I think you should bring Dustin home. Claudia is going to get worried.”

He didn’t need to look up to know that Eddie was glaring at Joyce and Hopper.

“Let me get this straight. Steve provides free rides, and babysitting services, and meals, and fun for your kids damn near every day. He protects them during this shit every time it happens, literally puts his body on the line to keep them alive. Tried to somehow keep them as safe as possible when it seemed like the world was ending this time, did keep them alive, and you’re still finding reasons to blame him?”

They both had the decency to at least look like they regretted it.

But they still didn’t say anything.

“Fuck this. I’m not gonna pretend to know everything about your little Upside Down Club, but I’m in it now. None of us wanna be here, but we are. Steve’s been doing his best for years, since he was a kid, and all you can do is complain that your sweet angels aren’t completely unscathed? This is a team effort, you know that. They volunteered. Steve would have had to lock them in a prison cell for them not to help.”

Steve looked up at Eddie, watched as he started to lose the fire that had overtaken him temporarily, his eyes dulling as the morphine dripped into his veins and flushed through his system.

“Best damn babysitter…” Eddie mumbled as his eyes fell closed.

Steve watched him for a moment, waiting to see if he suddenly woke up again. When he didn’t, he stood up slowly, didn’t want to risk him feeling the bed move, and made his way to the door.

But something hurt in his chest, something he knew wouldn’t go away unless he said something.

He turned to see Hopper and Joyce staring at each other, having a silent conversation.

“I’m used to disappointing people. I’ve been disappointing my parents my whole life. Disappointed friends, Nancy, bosses. But I have never let those kids down. I do my best with them. I try to be there for them the way I wish someone had been there for me. I make sure they’re kids because life handed them a shitty card or whatever and they deserve to still be kids. You can be mad at me if you want, but I know I did my best. They know I did my best.”

He didn’t wait for a response, didn’t want to hear them say anything else about how wrong his decisions were.

But Joyce stopped him from leaving the room, hand on his arm.

“Steve, wait. Honey, I’m sorry. I think…I think we got caught up in the moment and just needed someone to blame.”

“You do the best you can. We know you do a lot for them.”

It was nice to hear, but he couldn’t get over the uncomfortable itch in the back of his head that he deserved more than that.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I can accept the apology right now.” And then the anger really set in. It came over him so fast, he could feel his hands shaking. “A lot of things are out of our control. We all wanna blame someone for this stuff, but it just boils down to the same people over and over. Max is in a coma because of Henry Creel, not me. Eddie is in the hospital because of demon bats, not me. Eleven and Will are connected to the Upside Down because of the government, not me. I’m just trying to be whatever they need, and that’s better than I can say for either of you at this point.” Steve left this time, Joyce dropping her hand from his arm halfway through his loud speech.

Okay, he was yelling.

But Eddie slept through it, and it felt good to get all of that out.

He made his way to the waiting room, hoping everyone would still be there so he could check in.

Everything felt too fresh, too much like Vecna could show back up and take any of them at any moment.

But the waiting room was empty, not even Dustin remained.

Steve did his best not to panic. Their parents had all been contacted, so they most likely had just been picked up and brought home.

“They’ve all been picked up, sugar,” an older nurse said from the front desk.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“They left you a note, though.”

He recognized her as the woman who had been here the whole night, handling phone calls and people walking in like she’d been doing this for decades. Maybe she had been.

He walked over and grabbed it from her, giving her a small smile in thanks.

He walked outside before he opened it, not sure why he was suddenly nervous.

But as he read, he felt tears in his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

Steve- Go home and sleep. We’ll be okay for a day while you rest. You don’t ever do that. We don’t agree with Joyce and Hopper, and we hope you know you’re the best damn babysitter ever. Love, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, El, Will, Mike, and Max (if she could)

He folded up the note, put it in his pocket, and walked to his car.

He ignored the blood in the backseat, rolled his windows down to ignore the stench of iron.

Knew he would be spending most of his day tomorrow trying to clean the stains out, but figured it would be a good mindless task.

He thought about Eddie, about how quick he was to defend him. About how he’d gripped his hand like it was a lifeline.

It felt that way to Steve.

He hadn’t let Eddie down. He’d saved Eddie.

If he didn’t do anything else right, he’d done that, and nothing Joyce or Hopper said could take that away.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #joyce byers #jim hopper #ficlet #request #some angst but a positive ending #with some cute drugged up eddie #and some overprotective gremlins

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vampbunnis · 4 days

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boothill x writer&reading enthusiast!reader!!

wc: 680

tags - fluff!!!!!, hurt/comfort without the hurt, so just comfort, this is my first fanfic EVER!?!?!?, lots of projection, probably inaccurate portrayal of boothill srrie, boothill calls u darlin'/sugar, this is really really messy oops

a/n - the story kinda diverges into them just reading a simple book written by someone else but the idea was that they'd slowly work into reading more n more complex stuffs-- which eventually include reader's works !! tbh i like to think even if boothill doesn't fully understand yet he'd still wanna know what reader is writing. i'll probably rewrite this sometime in the future with the same concept, diff execution b/c this lowkey didn't turn out how i wanted it to ૮ ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ྀིა

he feels bad and a little insecure about his illiteracy!! because he bets you're so so talented in what you do but he literally cannot appreciate what you write :((

sometimes he wonders if you'd be happier if you were with someone who was able to fully understand all of you-- all of your cute rambles about the usage of different literary devices in the books you were reading, all of the times you cried over dystopian novels and heart-crushing personal narratives and profound, emotional sentences that he just didn't have the capacity to understand.

when he sits you down one night and confides in you about this, your first course of action is to comfort him (obviously!!).

"trust me, i don't love you any less just 'cause you dunno how to read," you coo, peppering his warm face with loving kisses. "if i had to be with anyone else, i'd be sad forever knowing you'd still be out there. i love you, don't forget that, 'kay?"

you can see his worry-addled face relax a bit as you remind him of just how much you love him-- but you can still notice the crestfallen look in his eyes. you realize he has been worrying about this for a while; possibly since the first time you told him you were a writer.

you come up with a plan.

he's a little confused the first time you lay in bed earlier than usual with a book in hand, gesturing excitedly for him to join you under the covers. you usually read books on your own, no?

it didn't take him long to notice a difference between the book you were holding and the books you usually read.

he saw a few of the books you'd read previously-- they were thick, way thicker than the book in front of him now, and definitely way smaller in size. the covers also had pretty big differences. the covers of your usual books were much more mature-looking-- like they were meant to be read by adults. this book, however... had a fat, crudely drawn green caterpillar on the cover.

his metallic body slips underneath the sheets, relaxing on the mattress. he protectively wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"what's this, darlin'?" he asks, pointing to the book with his free hand.

"the very hungry caterpillar," you reply, a bright smile on your face. you pause for a bit before speaking up again.

"i feel like i've been making you feel bad by leaving you out of my passion for literature-- i mean, reading, and writing and whatnot. i'm not the best teacher, but i still wanna share this part of me with you."

he has to try his hardest not to explode on the spot.

"'s alright, sugar, 's not your fault," he murmurs, gently caressing your side in an attempt to comfort you. "did 'ya get this book just f'me?"

you nodded, the solemn look on your face suddenly being replaced with one of excitement.

"this book is real simple, so i can read it to 'ya and hopefully you might learn a few things," you smile, giving him a peck on the cheek as you open the book.

since he barely knows how to read, you have to read the entire book out loud to him. that doesn't bother you, not in the slightest. in fact, you'd say it's even more fun that way.

he starts to snicker as the drawing of the caterpillar slowly gets bigger and bigger, eating food in larger quantities as the pages flip.

after you shut the book closed and put it on the nightstand, you turn to him. "how'd you like the book?"

"it was so stupid," he grins. "that [beautiful] caterpillar was still hungry after eatin' all that?"

you burst into giggles, hugging him tighter as you laugh. "mhm, i guess so. it's like me whenever you take me out to get fast food."

"oh, don't compare your pretty self to that thing," he smirks, tucking the both of you under the covers.

#⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ 별빛이의 글쓰기 #⊹.(⸝⸝ ˆ ³(⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)˚. byeolhill #boothill x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader

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a-spes · 1 month

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I litteraly can't stop thinking about this post from @whumped-by-glitter ~ Like, can we (please) take a minute to think about how perfect it's for Wandanat or BlackHill x young!R where they take her out of the Red Room?? | Warnings & Tags : messy blurb? (imagine? idk, just wanting to share my thoughts, and couldn't stop writing), mainly BlackHill, mentions of the Red Room/past abuses, no idea if that makes sense. Imagine, teen or young adult R that fails a mission, and is captured by SHIELD/The Avengers. R isn't really cooperative, even if she is not under mind control anymore, she firmly believes that. However, Nat just can't accept the idea of leaving her rotting in a cell for the rest of her life for something that isn't really her fault. Despite what R can say, Natasha wants to believe that it's not true, and that she will be able to show her that life is way more than the Red Room.

But it's not that easy. Nat more than anyone else knows that you don't come back from the Red Room that easily, and she can only assumes that it would be worst for someone that went under mind control. And she was right. At first, she tried to introduce you to how life outside is, how sweet it could be, but she quickly noticed that it didn't work. Whenever she asks you a question about what you would like, she gets no answer. If she doesn't tell you to eat or to go somewhere, you don't do it. The amount of time you didn't followed her or talked because she didn't especially told you to do so is insane, especially in the beginning. So she decides to do what she thinks it's best, even if she hates it: giving you order, being stern with you, offering you a place you know, where you feel safe (no matter how sick it's) because you can predict it, a space where you'll be fine as long as you do as your ask. The world is a big and scary place in which to evolve in, especially when you don't have the keys to understand it - what you do something you're not supposed to, and you're punished for that? R will eventually come here, but it'll definitely takes a lot of time.

But obvsiouly Nat' is hating herself for that. She knows she has to do it, for you, but it doesn't make it easier. She does it because she believes it will help you to feel better, and because if you're under her orders, they have less reasons to be worried that you would attend something under Dreykov's name (or try to go back to him). She feels guilty, and old thoughts about her not being better than the man that made them are coming back. But Maria/Wands are here to help their wife <3

AND SO, here is how I see things if it's WandaNat we're talking about - I picture Wands as the soft mom she is shown as in Wandavision, and she would definitely not appreciate Nat's methods. She trusts her wife, she knows that she has her reasons, and it must be the best way to help you, but she still doesn't like it. She hates the way you always look down, the way you would do everything her wife is asking without thinking twice about it, and most of it, she hates when you're calling Nat' "ma'am" or something else of that kind. She hates even more than her wife isn't saying anything. She didn't know you for long, but she already loves you as her own, and it pains her when you reject her. Sometimes, she and Nat would argue about the whole situation (and those arguments would definitely go too far).

BUT imagine if it's BlackHill?? Even better in my opinion, and definitely can't stop thinking about it ~ Because, unlike Wanda, Maria is directly concerned. She read your file, she saw footages of you killing dozens of people, she tracked you, lost men in the process, and she saw how you didn't seem to regret anything when she questioned you. So Maria has every reasons to be worried, especially for her wife's security (physically and mentally). What if it's just a part of a biggest plan to attempt to kill the redhead? Or worst, to take her back there? I can easily Maria being upset, and taking it out on the other recruit she is training (poor them), not daring to do much more than glaring at you, knowing her wife wouldn't appreciate. And even if she doesn't appreciate R, she trusts and love her wife, so she lets her do her thing. But she is always somewhere looking at you with a stern face, waiting for the moment you would make a mistake to step-in. But you never really make a mistake, always following Nat's orders at the perfection, which is kinda frustrating because then she has no reason to get rid of you. Except if one day R's misunderstood one of Nat's orders, which lead to a heavy situation <3 It's honestly the only situation I imagine leading to an argument between Maria & Nat. Like, maybe you hurt someone or stole something or idk, thinking you did good, and they would be proud, but when you come in the room they're just looking at you with that shocked face. But you did what you had to, no? That's exactly what you were asked to do, so why are they angry? AND IMAGINE THE ANGST FROM NOW. R's confusion, Nat' desesperatly trying to find a solution, trying to convince Maria that it was just a mistake (that was her fault because she is the one that wasn't careful with her words) but she doesn't change her mind. Pulling the "what if it happens again?" and "I am your superior, you don't get to discuss my order" cards, knowing that it would pain Nat', but she has to do it in order to keep her safe. Bonus point if Nat turns to Fury, trying to convince him as she knows her wife won't change her mind, but he doesn't say much, just agreeing with her agent, mumbling a simple "sorry" Nat doesn't want to hear. Obviously, it would eventually

AND (because there is more), I also can't stop thinking about that comment from @light-me-on-pyre ;

Like, I can easily imagine R hating Nat'. It would make so much sense because she grew up in a place where Nat' was pictured as the enemy, the one that betrayed "the ones that gave everything to her". But it wouldn't be the exact reason why R is hating Nat'. I mean, right, she hates her because she left, but mainly because of the consequences it had for the ones that came after - the worsened conditions, the mind control, etc - and how she succeed what's supposed to be impossible: leaving the Red Room. Not only physically, but mentally. Imagine R seeing Nat' on the news when she is on a mission or seeing her interacting with Maria/the Avengers, witnessing Nat' being happy. It's something she was told she doesn't deserve/will never have from a young age, so why would Nat' have the right to be happy when so many didn't? It was so much easier to hate on Nat' than on Dreykov all these years because she wasn't here, and no one would blame her to do so. But now? It's easier to continue hating Nat', for R to convince herself that the redhead is bad despite the appearances because it's easier than admitting that her whole life is a lie (kinda). And the fact that Nat' has to take the "bad guy" role in order to help R only makes things easier because, in the end, she is not different from the others, right? And so, as Nat' can't provide R the comfort she needs, it's all on Maria (at least for the beginning) who doesn't have a choice. But we all know that despite her cold demeanour, she is all soft, she is just scared for the ones she loves <3 Which includes Nat', because she saw how her wife is affected by your arrival. First, she has nightmares again because, with you, inevitably came back old memories and traumas. Then, Maria can see how her wife is so invested in your case that she barely sleep/eat/ (which is one of the reasons why she doesn't really appreciate R ...). But also, what would happen if they can't save you?

Bonus point if things get better but something happen, and everything get worse again, throwing away all these months of progress. But what if they don't have the patience to start all over again?

It's definitely (one of) my favorite trope because the amount of angst/comfort it holds is insane, and I am going crazy about it (you can tell by the lenght of that post that was supposed to be a few lines ...). Do I want to write something like that when I already have too many WIPs? Yes. Will I do it? I don't know, but I'll definitely be thinking about it 24/24 & 7/7.

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msnihilist · 4 months

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ahh pleaseee share that essay about bevin and gwevin with us 🥲we won't be bored we love those kind of things we would love to read it !

This is mostly just going to be me vomiting up various thoughts, but here we go.

Ben and Gwen, I think, represent Kevin's past and future, respectively. Through UAF, Ben is consistently the one who calls Kevin out on his bullshit — most notably in "In Charm's Way," when Ben and Kevin talk on the beach at the end of the episode...

KEVIN: Where's Gwen?

BEN: Went home. You hurt her pretty bad.

KEVIN: I hurt her? I'm the one who looks like this, and she hasn't done a thing about it.

BEN: You are a giant, rock-faced jerk!

KEVIN: Yeah, whatever.

BEN: Not "whatever." She's spending every spare moment going through every magic book she can find to try and help you. She's been doing it since the accident.

KEVIN: She... She never told me.

BEN: Should she have had to?

...and again when (past) Ben snaps at Ultimate Kevin in "The Forge of Creation."

ULTIMATE KEVIN: I deserve that power. I'm the one who gets turned into a monster. I'm the one nobody ever trusts or cares about!

GWEN: That's not true!

ULTIMATE KEVIN: Face it, Gwen... Whatever I look like, I'm a freak!

YOUNG BEN: You're a jerk. You've always been a jerk. People try to be nice to you, but you can't ever see it. You're too busy feeling sorry for yourself.

Ben is consistently the only character to hold Kevin accountable like this. (Granted, Kevin doesn't have a wide circle of friends, but still.) Gwen and Kevin don't fight much (when they do, Gwen usually leaves the situation), and she tends to be the softer voice, encouraging Kevin and reassuring him. ("You know I don't care what you look like," etc.)

Ben has been calling Kevin out since they were kids, since the day that they met — quickly clocking Kevin as a bad person and saying as much. He continues to do this through the OG, like in "Grudge Match."

MUTATED KEVIN: It's payback time, for turning me into a freak!

BEN (as Diamondhead): You were always a freak, Kevin. It's just now the ugly's also on the outside.

And, later...

MUTATED KEVIN: This is all your fault!

BEN: How can this be my fault?

MUTATED KEVIN: I don't know... It just is!

In this episode, Kevin blames Ben for them getting stuck in the ship. He blames Ben for his mutation. He attacks Ben for going against him even though Ben literally saved both of their lives not a minute before.

Kevin isn't in his right mind, sure, but he continues to display this trait in UAF: refusing to accept accountability.

Nothing is ever his fault — it's always someone else's. Kevin is emotionally immature and he struggles with self-hatred. He lashes out and blames others because if he didn't, he would have to look inside of himself and recognize that maybe something is wrong with him.

And that's a hard thing to do. It's hard for most adults, let alone a child who's struggling with powers he doesn't understand — powers that alter his mental state.

If Kevin is a boat being tossed around in a wild ocean, then Ben is like an anchor. He forces Kevin to look inward and to reflect on his behavior.

... Which is where Gwen comes in.

(Admittedly, I have less to analyze here, since Gwen and Kevin are rather straightforward, comparatively.)

Without Ben around, Gwen and Kevin's relationship would not work. Gwen is reactionary. She was as a child, and she still is as a teenager. Her first instinct when she and Kevin argue isn't to problem-solve, it's to get defensive. Their relationship wouldn't go anywhere with both of their attitudes like that.

Ben gets Gwen away to destress and take her mind off of Kevin. Ben is honest with Kevin in a way that Gwen can't (or won't) be.

He's not a third wheel. He's their counterweight. Their balance.

What does this have to do with past/future?

Well, Kevin spells it out in "Perplexahedron."

KEVIN: I like the Kevin that Gwen sees when she looks at me. And I like that you gave me another chance, even after I messed up all those other ones. I guess I'm saying I owe you guys for changing my life.

He refers to "the Kevin that Gwen sees" — someone he could be. And he thanks Ben for giving him another chance, referencing his past mistakes.

Ben helps Kevin look back and learn from his mistakes. Gwen gives Kevin something to look forward to, and a goal to strive towards.

Gwen and Kevin wouldn't work without Ben, but Ben and Kevin would be shaky without Gwen, too. Gwen is motivation. She's an incentive. She's the light at the end of the tunnel.

Without her, I think Kevin would have a hard time knowing what, exactly, he's trying to work towards. He would have a harder time opening up to Ben.

Ben is the medicine, and Gwen is the spoonful of sugar.

Kevin needs both of them to be the person he's always wanted to be. And they need him, too.

After all, 'Ben and Gwen' by themselves don't look nearly as cool <3

#ben 10 #ben tennyson #gwen tennyson #kevin levin #ask #anonymous #ben 10 discussion #idk what I'm talking about just ignore me :p

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aleksa-sims · 6 months

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RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Adult topics, pregnancy, cheating...

Nico's really not normal! But well, that's nothing new. After Damian & Martin, his.... soccer team mates (😒) left, I was of course totally mad at him for what I heard. They talked about me like I was just some kind of..... bitch for N. But his poor Stephanie, she’s so innocent... That girl, is totally crazy! 😡 She threatened Nico to hurt herself, just because things don’t go the way she wants. Sorry, but that's insane! And tbh, I have nothing against Damian & Martin. It wasn't their fault. They didn't know it was ME. And they are the only ones of N.'s team mates, I get along with. Anyway, that’s a different topic.

Besides, he said he loved his (ex) fiancée. when I overheard him and his two buds. But Nico just thought, who cares!? After he took a shower, he wanted me to jump right into bed with him. 😠As if everything was fine.

Nico: Come to me, babe. I'm all yours. 😏

Me: Are you losing it?... You really think I’m gonna jump into your arms now? 😒

Nico: C'mon, I didn’t say anything bad about you!! I don’t talk about my private matters with my team mates. But Damian that fucker, read our texts. He & I shared the same apatment in Italy. He took my phone that jerk. I just told them I broke up with her, but I didn't say WHY!! But yeah, they knew I was seeing someone else bcs D. couldn’t keep his mouth shut. So Martin that dick, thought I was cheating. You got it now?

Me: You told them you loved her! I don’t get why you fall for that pity shit she’s telling you?... But well, you only dumped her bcs I didn't wanna sleep with you as long as you were with her. 😡

Nico: I said that I will NOT cheat and I also told you, that I wanted to end it with her anyway. YOU, love Daniel and you’re fucking married!

Me: But Daniel took off!!!!!! It's over!!! He’s not here! He doesn’t show up all the time and wants something from me like your crazy Stephanie.

Nico: Put yourself in my position! Imagine Daniel is Stephanie..... You would also feel bad if you left Daniel. Or not? And she’s not playing that, she’s really.... fucked up & upset.

Me: I’d rather die, than hurt him sm. You understand? I would never have met you, if Daniel had stayed with me. 🤦‍♀️💔...... I accepted that he’s gone, but you?? Idk what you want N.?... Get off me. I fuck off.

I walked towards the door. I wanted to go home. But he stood in front of the door and wouldn’t let me go, so he literally pulled me away from there and asked me to listen to him.

Nico: Now listen! You know me. Do I look like I’m lying to you? I love you.... When I saw you again a week ago, I knew it right away. You didn’t even have to say or do anything. Just seeing you was enough for me to know I wanted you. And remember what I told you. I don't play around! I don’t need a second girl, bitch, fiancee or whatever. I want just one! But with that one girl, I wanna do what I want, without me constantly having to explain something. I want you to finally trust me! Fuck what others say or think. That’s unimportant! Only what I say counts for you. The same applies to me. I only listen to you and what you want from me. I don’t give a shit about everyone else. For me, you are always in the first position. That’s exactly what I expect from you too. And I’ll settle that damn issue with Stephanie, as I said. But you have to trust me! I don’t want her, I want you! And also my damn sister, FUCK HER! Melanie can’t hurt you!! I won't let that happen!!! Ok?

Me: Idk if I can? I wanna trust you, but... sm has gone wrong for me. It's pretty damn hard to trust.

Nico: Then please at least try! It’s only 3 fucking days, until her damn family gets back home. After that, it’s just you & me, babe.

Me: But you still love her. You said it yourself.

Nico: I swear, I don’t love her like I love you. Idk how to explain it?I’m not good with words. You might get me wrong, if I try, but I don’t want you to think I only want you for that one thing. This is simply not true.

......................

Nico: I'm sorry, but I have to shag you now......

Me: Somehow you always have to.

Nico: Yeah, okay I'm hooked on you. And I’m not doing this just for me. I love making you... happy. Tell me, did P. make you happy too? Or-.. no, no! Not P.! I saw how Philip did it to you. I wanna know what Daniel did to you.

Me: Seriously N.???... You really wanna hear what Daniel did to mer? In... bed.

Nico: Sure, babe.

Me: Why am I even surprised? You're insane, N.!

Nico: Tell me.

Me: I loved it with him. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have married him, if....he didn't feel good to me. But there are many moments with Daniel, that I don’t remember. We're constantly high. Still, D. was... great... But he’s almost as horny as you. I think it had to do with his addiction. I know that from myself. When I was sober and had this shit in my mind, I wanted to sleep with him. As if Daniel could get me high or something. He... reminds me of that stuff.

Nico: I gotta get Daniel and that damn shit out of your head!

Me: If someone can do it, that person is you! But I only think about you when we’re together anyway. I loved you so much N., I can still feel it.

.......

Nico: I know you love me. You always had a hard time telling me, but I knew it, whenever you touched my face... ILY, too.

Me: You really noticed that?.... Yeah, I guess I never stopped loving you.

I stayed with him again, but slowly I had to go home. My parents will be wondering where I spend all those nights and with WHO? I’m an adult, yes! I was 21 at the tim. But I was still married. They’ll think I’m using again or that I met a new, strange guy woh's doing drugs with me.... Anyway, the next morning I went out with Nico’s dog, I went shopping. I got a pregnancy test. Yesterday I had no success with it. I was not allowed to enter the pharmacy with Nico’s dog bcs I had no muzzle for him, but that morning I finally got a test. I had to tell him and I think I started to fall in love with N. again. The night with him was incredibly........ hot, but not only because of that. N. has changed. He was so cute. Of course he was still crazy and maybe still a bit too demanding, but that's ok for me and I can handle it.

Also I never would have let go of Daniel so fast with any other guy. But with N.... all the feelings and emotions I had for him, were still there. I had only "repressed" them, when he left a year ago. But I’ve always known, that Nico is someone special to me, whether we’re apart or together. Idk why it was like that, bcs he wasn’t really nice to me at the beginning, as you know. But I knew he loved me. I think he just couldn't handle his feelings/emotions for me really well in the past. And if I'm honest, I wasn't easy too. I was a challenge for him. Not just for him. For my family too. It was an intense time and Nico was constantly under enormous pressure because of soccer. I just didn’t mention it so often back then. I believe that all those factors played a part and triggered his anger. It was too much for him. I was too much for him. And there was also this thing with his dad, who was a total ass. This man made Nico so MAD, that he didn’t like my Dad either, and so it came to all those probs with my family too.

Also, his ex showed up! I couldn’t stand her whole fake pity show. And it hurt me like hell to see her & Nico together. I swear, Philip and Natasha were NOTHING compared to that! I ran away as usual. But I’ll tell you next time.

Previous/ Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #18+ content #simself #rl story #cw addiction #cw cheating #adult conten

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moonlit-positivity · 3 months

Text

Things I wish I knew before healing, part 2

• nobody is coming to save you. Except that's not entirely true either. Not in the way youd think. If you're looking for someone to hold you, coddle you, change your dirty diapers, and do the work for you? Nah these mfs can't baby sit a grown ass adult. But that is a very valid feeling. I can't tell you how much I bitched and moaned in the beginning. I literally told my therapist one time, "I want someone to change my fuckin diapers!" Lol 😭 the hard thing about being abused as a child is that there is never anyone there to care for you on that deeper level. And the hardest part about growing up this way, is that there never will be. Not in the way of this fantasy of wanting someone to be fully enmeshed with your brain enough to know what it is you want and need without you ever needing to open your mouth and say it out loud. No. That's not how people are gonna save you. But they will save you in an entirely different way. They will let you know when youre making a mistake. My therapist has helped me in ways I would have never even fuckin imagined humanity would be able to help someone. And she's not the only one. I'm lucky and blessed and privileged to have had a few good case managers and help from people who work for the city I live in. These people have helped me in ways that others couldn't. They gave me a backbone to stand up and get the work done for myself. They helped me understand this during the hardest fucking rude awakening I have ever had about life in general. And that is, that no one on this earth is entitled to taking care of you. Nah. In my case tho they still wouldn't even if I wanted em to, bc I already kinda knew that from growing up with my mother. I would have never been able to outright ask someone to love me. Not with the awareness of what my mother put me through and the constant fear of becoming just like she was to me. But there comes a time when you gotta stop bitching and whining about how unfair it is and learn how to get up and move anyway. And tbh, I'm still not entirely there yet. It's not an easy thing to learn. But I know a helluva lot more now than I have ever known in my entire life, and that means a whole fuckin lot to me right now. I literally started out from under ground zero, like -65 if you wanna be specific. I had to crawl through the gutters just to get where the fuck I am today. I fuckin carved that shit out all by myself. I fuckin did that. And I'm proud as fuck of where I stand today.

• there is going to be times when you literally cannot talk about it anymore. I can't tell you this without explaining that I am the type of person who would want to immediately snap my fingers and expect the immediate response, to have that quick fix solution. Nah. Patience is an acquired skill. Not to toot my own horn here, but God fuck if I had ever known that before starting therapy I swear to God I don't think I woulda made it through. I have such an aversion to pain and suffering bc of what I went through as a kid, but the pain of healing is unlike anything you will ever experience. Because unlike being abused, healing feels good. Healing feels like someone is purifying your soul in a pure light. And your soul is filled with anger and bitterness and pain. So trusting that light is fucking nuts to say the least. There are times when someone telling you it's not your fault will absolutely break you down into a million fuckin pieces. Not because it hurts, though yeah it does hurt a lot because that's not something anyone has ever told you before and there's the pain around why these mfs have never fuckin told you that. But it also hurts because it feels good to be finally listened to, heard, seen, and validated by another fucking human being on the face of the earth. And you won't want to believe it at first either. But eventually they'll keep saying it to you. Over and over. And eventually there will come a point when you finally lose your shit behind it and deal with the brainwashing coming undone to understand exactly what it is you've had to go through. And then there comes a time when you just can't talk about it the same way anymore. It changes you. It makes you see things about yourself and about the people around you and about this world in general that you've never even thought about before. And that's a whole lotta fuckton to sit with in itself.

• things gonna get better. And it's gonna scare the absolute piss and shit out of you when it does. The silence of peace and serenity is first filled with panic and survival on a whole different level than anyone will ever tell you about. The peace and silence of serenity feels like madness. It feels like youve been living underground your whole life and now you're above ground and everything is new and fuckin terrifying and you don't actually wanna live here, you wanna crawl back underground because it's more familiar and "safer" to you that living above ground is. And this is actually a normal feeling a lot of us go through I've noticed. Talking with other survivors can definitely help give you a sense of normalcy to what you're going through. But my god that urge to go back to the abuse and pain and suffering is so fuckin real. It's all you ever know. Trusting peace to not be a fuckin trap? That takes a lot of pain in itself.

• which brings me to this point. Every single thing about this process is a fucking pain in the ass. You've been beat, abused, gaslit into believing you are the devil incarnate by your parents. Your first ever caregivers, your first ever human experiences, have you believing you are the dog shit underneath their feet. They spend your entire childhood abusing you. Then you finally leave them behind and now you gotta find out they fuckin abused you???? My God. There is nothing about this shit that is gonna give you happy happy fun time play time vibes at all. That's fucked up beyond belief.

• youre gonna be pissed the fuck off all the time. My God if you're reading this and can relate, LOOK INTO SOMATIC HEALING. Give your body an outlet. And it doesn't have to be like exercise or yoga or any of that bullshit. Just shake your shoulders. Shake your arms. Shake your body. Let it move those big fuckin emotions and get it out. Somatics is all you ever fuckin need to get through this shit. Just find ways that it works for you. But yes. The anger and rage and betrayal is REAL. Don't fuckin beat yourself up for this shit. It's valid and it makes sense you'd be angry. LOOK AT WHAT THEY FUCKIN DID TO YOU.

• you're not faking your trauma, your symptoms, or your illnesses. There are real legitimate things happening in your brain and your body that affect the way you function day to day. The fact that there will be people in your life who will never fuckin understand that is a fucking war crime against yourself. Do yourself a favor and remove these people fuckin immediately. Anyone who dares question your life & illnesses & your right to fuckin exist???? Is a fuckin threat and you need to get them out NOW. You are not faking. You never fuckin were. Don't let anyone fill your head with doubt. Family, friends, therapists, doctors. NOBODY. find a second opinion. Find the doctor who's gonna listen and take you seriously when you ask about it and help get you the proper testing to find out. Do NOT settle for the doctors who tell you you're lying. Do NOT settle for the family that says youre lazy and selfish and entitled. Fuck those assholes. You know yourself better than they do. The fact that they even accuse you of lying to begin with is such a mindfuck in itself.

• there are gonna be times when the pain and regret of not knowing what the fuck you've already said and done is gonna suck the living energy from you. It's because well whaddya know. You've grown up a little bit. You might feel like it's a great thing to have the awareness and understanding now, and tbh yes it is! Don't detract from that point! But the people who have already been hurt from you aren't really gonna give a rats fuckin ass one way or another. And that's gonna hurt on so many levels, because yeah that's fair and valid. But holy fuck if i had known that before hand I swear to God things would have been so fuckin different. The thing about it is, people are listening to you, even when you don't think they are. I might go further into this sometime bc there are so many reasons as to why we don't think we matter as much to the people around us as they do actually care and listen. The words and actions you take (or don't take) will have a direct effect on those around you.

• life is not a fuckin game. God I wish someone had told me that a lot fuckin sooner. Take yourself seriously. Take your life seriously. This isn't the pregame show, this is the actual fuckin super bowl. Life is gonna hand you the epitome of fuck around and find out, and its gonna hit you hard if you're not prepared for that.

I will probably add more later. Thanks for reading 😊

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #trauma recovery #trauma awareness #child abuse #childhood trauma #bpd #actually traumatized #life advice #advice #life lessons #self awareness #self actualization

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666herescared · 8 months

Text

Imaginary Shadow Dad)Ch.8: Bargaining

—☆—

Notes: Where to begin… Well, this is going to be the chapter that solidifies Mk’s pre-Monkey King support system with the introduction of Mei. Also, a small lore drop about Wukong at the start, via the means of story time with Mr.Tang!

—☆—

Nightmares Together

Mr.Tang was telling Mk another story again, but the Little Monkey was getting a little too into it. “UGH! I can’t believe Tripitaka did something like that! How can anyone be okay with being that mean to Monkey King?! He’s so cute and cheeky!” Xiao Houzi yelled, flailing around on his bed as he expressed his anger.

Tang was used to his reaction to these parts of the story by now, so he just rolled his eyes before beginning to explain. “Well, I don’t think you understand the entirety of his character. Monkey K-”

Mk bapped his Ba Ba on the nose to shut him up before starting to talk again. “Monkey King is amazing! He protects his people, beats up the bad guys, and he’s a loving and devoted husband!” He ranted in response, though the scholar was still annoyed at the bap.

It would be fine. He’d turn this into a teaching moment. “Well, I suppose that’s my fault. I didn’t tell you the darker parts during our first read through. Here I’ll-” Anddd, cut off again.

“Whatever it is, it’s not changing my mind! Tripitaka was overusing the damned circlet. You can’t deny that!” Mk exclaimed, pointing accusatorialy at his parent.

“I’m not denying that. The book itself agrees with you so-” Mk bapped him again, opening his mouth to speak when Tang gripped his hand, forcefully pinned it to the bed, and gave Mk a pointed glare. “You sit. I teach. You have lost book discussion privileges,” the adult stated firmly as he held his son in place with a finger and a look.

With a dumbfounded look, Mk nodded, a little scared by this outburst. He had never pissed his Ba Ba off that much before.

And it didn’t last because Tang sat back up with a smile a moment later, turning back to his book. “Good. Now…”

Mr.Tang explained a lot of things. He told Mk everything he skipped over when he was younger. He said he didn’t want to harm his developing mind by telling him that stuff. What was that stuff? Well.. Monkey King wasn’t… the best. At least, before the journey.

He had a rather black and white view of right and wrong. Hurt good people, you’re bad and hurt bad people, you’re good. He made his people train when they were far too young. He was… cruel and dangerous… until he met Liu’er - or, well, - until he started trusting Liu’er. When they got together, he was still pretty bad, but Liu’er’s advice made him a much better ruler.

The worst part though, is that he hurt Liu’er a lot. Not always physically, and never on purpose, but the frequency with which he would disappear for years (sometimes hundreds of years) without a word often left Liu'er wondering if his mate was even alive, and the amount of times they mentioned Monkey King making Liu’er wince was staggering. Then… that scene..

“Go home, Liu’er.” the Great Sage commanded, blood drying around the circlet.

"Y-you cannot be serious, my king. You're bleeding, you were screaming a few minutes ago!" the Six-Eared shadow wielder said in disbelief as he held Wujing in place.

"I don't want to hurt you." Wukong said through gritted teeth, a hand raising to pull his staff from his ear.

"No.." Liu’er muttered as he let go of the spirit, turning to glare at the wounded monk. "You! What have you done?! You have broken Wukong's mi-" A loud thud sounded as the Ruyi Jingu Bang stabbed in front of the dark monkey.

"Go. Home." the King demanded, glaring at his lover.

“Not without you,” Liu’er growled, glaring back as he created his own weapon from the shadows around them. Their fight began. As a loud crash echoed through the valley, the walls of the nearby buildings shook from the force of the collision. They bounced away from one another, and the King launched his staff forth, stretching through incredible distances. Liu’er had to think quick, dodging into the shadows to avoid the staff an instant before it crashed into the mountain behind him, leaving a sizable crater in its wake.

Bajie used their fight as an opportunity to go check on their master, who was stubbornly trying to stand, despite his wounded state. “What.. What is he doing?” Sanzang managed to push out, though he stumbled again and had to catch his breath.

“You don’t gotta worry about them master. Wukong’s got it,” Bajie reassured as he shifted the monk’s robes to examine the damage.

“But I-.. I need to- Ugh!” the human tried, but his voice failed him as his disciple started prodding around the damage on his chest.

The pig winced as he felt the breaks in the monk’s ribs, the tissue already bruising over top. “This is gonna hurt.” he lamented, before beginning to bandage the monk’s wounds.

Liu’er appeared behind the King with over a dozen clones draped in darkness. One by one, they struck against him, but in a few swift blows of Wukong’s staff, they were dispatched of, leaving a clear view of the absolutely livid Sage in their wake.

Liu’er struck from above, but his heart wasn't in it and the move was easily countered.

“What are you doing? I'm trying to save you!” the King's lover cried out, as he was kicked back by his partner.

“What am I doing?!? You showed up and began to attack my master!” Wukong yelled, launching his staff toward the shadowed warrior “GO. HOME. I don't want you hurting my brothers, and I do not want it to be my hand that leaves you dead!”

“I'm not going to let your… ‘Master’ harm you! You're bleeding! I haven't seen you bleed since we were cubs!!!” cried the shadow wielder, as he dashed to attack his lover. His attack was dodged, and just as quickly, the Monkey King struck out of blind anger, crushing the ring on Liu’er’s tail hard enough to pin it in place.

The Six-Eared Macaque cried out in pain, and the King winced, though in his mind he was chanting, “He’s immortal too. He’ll be fine.” He went to strike again, but his partner dodged away.

Not realizing that the staff had been extended, he was not prepared for the sudden impact of it hitting his chest and slamming him into the wall. “I…" Macaque gasped, the air having been knocked out of him. Taking as deep a breath as his bruised ribs would allow, he shouted, "I can't let him hurt you anymore!!! He has poisoned your mind with promises of grandeur and now you have forgotten your own dream!” the warrior of darkness yelled, clutching his stomach.

"That dream was lost long ago!'' Wukong snarled in blind fury, dashing down to launch a vicious attack, piercing Liu'er through the eye.

As blood splattered over the Ruyi Jingu Bang, splashing his hands, Wukong returned to his senses - a moment too late - and his lover was knocked out of his sight. He darted toward the point where he had last seen Macaque, but the apologies on his tongue went unused as he failed to find the other man’s body.

“W-.. Wukong. What have you done?” Tripitaka forced out as he stood with worried eyes, having to lean on his gold-banded cudgel to stay up.

The King turned his head, dread in his eye, as he uttered in disbelief, “I think I just killed my husband..” He barely got the words out, before covering his mouth and falling to his knees in horror.

Bajie and Wujing were allowed to hug and attempt to comfort the Sage. However, when their Master stepped forward to do the same, Wukong growled, head snapping around to pin Tang Sanzang with a tearful glare. “So?! Aren’t you gonna punish me?! I killed him! What should it matter if I already regret it?!” he gritted out, though he was shaking. The ruler had never looked so fragile. It shocked the monk.

Behind him, Ao Lie shifted into human form and sprinted forward, stopping to convince Sanzang to sit down. “Maybe you should rest, master? I don’t think Wukong-GeGe wants to see you right now,.” the dragon said, lightly pressing on the human’s shoulder. Once Sanzang had sat down, the White-Horse-Dragon ran forward to comfort his big brother as well, not realizing how confused and distraught the monk had become.

“.. Some say that Monkey King still has nightmares about his lover, and the shadows he disappeared into.” Tang finished the story, looking back at his son.

“That.. That can’t be true. The-.. The Monkey King..” the boy stammered, though he couldn’t finish his statement.

“Hmm.. Maybe you should’ve paid more attention to the story.” the scholar concluded, before walking off, stopping at the door to mutter, “Goodnight, Xiao Houzi.”

And as he drifted off, he slipped into a nightmare… one not entirely his own…

—

Wukong ran across the beach, escaping the mutilated shadow as blood dripped from the open wound on his head. He ran and ran, unable to calm his mind as he ran- then he bumped into Ao Lie.

The dragon turned to look at his brother, the foggy look in his eyes hiding the older from view. "Gege? Gege, is that you?" the bleary-eyed white horse dragon kept looking blindly. He tripped and was caught by the ruler. "Wukong? Wukong! You're here! I knew you'd come!"

The scales on Ao Lie’s arm began foaming. No.. His eyes were a misty white instead of their normal green. Not again. The foam began to slip from his body. I can’t watch him die again! "Don’t go.. No. Don't leave me, little brother." Wukong whimpered, closing his eyes and holding Ao Lie close.

"Didn't act like that when I died." the gruff voice of Zhu Bajie stated, causing Lie to back off. He swung his rake and hit it against the Monkey King's chest.

"I-I didn't even know you were hurt!" he claimed, hand passing through the rake as he tried to hit it away.

"You knew I was." Wujing's voice said as he swung his crescent moon spade back to pull the ocean up into a wave. "You knew I was dying and you didn't even come to see it happen."

"I couldn't handle it! I-I visit your grave! I promise, I care!" Wukong shouted, before feeling a cold chill run down his back.

"Oh, really?" His lover's voice was barely there as his corpse approached, right eye left an empty pit of blood after their battle. "Then what do you have to say about me?" His voice shook the terrain as he grew irritated.

Bajie lifted his rake and hit it against the sage’s side, knocking him toward the stoney-looking Sha Wujing, who lowered his spade to bring the wave crashing down onto his brother, pulling the stone monkey into the deep water. Lie ran forward to help, though fully turned to sea foam as he touched the water.

Sha Wujing split the ocean to make room for Liu’er to approach the weeping Monkey King. "You killed me. That proves how awful you are." the six eared monkey claimed with a snarl on his face, getting close to the king and digging his claws into the wound on his head.

"Quiet." His master's voice pierced through the brothers' heads, and stung the shadow’s ears. He limped more than he ever really had, his opened chest revealing his broken bones and beating heart. He approached his disciple, walking right past the apparitions of the older's guilt. "Wukong. You know this isn't real." the monk said calmly.

"Then.. Why can't I wake up?" Wukong asked, desperate for his master's wisdom, despite it not really being him.

"There's someone else here." the human claimed, pointing a finger at the horizon where a ripple went through the sky as someone hit against the memory membrane.

"How do I get to them?" the king asked with worried eyes.

"You have claws, Wukong. Tear an opening.” the monk reminded and struck his staff against the ground, causing a path to open up for Wukong to follow. The monkey nodded, immediately falling in line with his master’s command.

He ran to the wall of strange goo that made up the false sky of the nightmare and struck, tearing into it and creating an opening that let him see the neighboring nightmare. A familiar shadow was tormenting this one too, but his eyes were first drawn to the victim of the horrors. A young boy - like- at most fourteen, dressed in a kung fu uniform and with his eyes glowing a pale purple. Were his eyes deceiving him or was that Macaque’s headband? No time to think, because the cub was crying and the shadow monster was sending a blow his way.

Without another thought, the king leapt into action, running to defend the boy and- “Shadow Dad, stop!”

Monkey King blocked the hit just in time, but was dumbfounded by the cub’s- he-.. He said cub, didn’t he? -the kid’s words. He looked the boy in the eye and asked frantically, “What did you call him!?” The youngling stared at the king, starstruck. “WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM!?” he repeated himself, more urgently.

“Uh- Sh-Shadow Dad.” Mk repeated, still starstruck. Wow. It didn’t matter that he found out the king wasn’t some unflappable paragon, he was still his idol and he was still awesome. Monkey King looked baffled for a moment, then his eyes glowed for some reason and he gained a look of realization.

He plucked a hair and blew on it, turning it into a knife. “Here! Take this and cut your way into a different memory! This one’s too corrupted to see in.” he instructed, and the youngling listened without question. Meanwhile, the king knocked the fist away and began holding the shadow at bay.

The Little Monkey cut through the sticky black mass on the floor and pulled at the sides until it opened wide enough for someone to slip through. “Monkey King! I found- Eugh!” he started before getting knocked into the opening.

“Very good! I’m so proud- Yada Yada- We gotta go!” Wukong ran through the talking points quickly, before looking around at the memory they’d entered. They were on a rooftop from the looks of it, and the cub was looking over the edge. It seemed like this wasn’t a good memory. “Kid? You okay?” the ruler asked, approaching carefully.

“This-.. This is just a dream. Isn’t it?” Mk asked, crouching down in a way all too familiar to the king. And yet, he copied all the same.

“Well, that’s what I’ve guessed.. Why? You sound disappointed.” the Monkey King replied as sympathetically as he could. It was a little difficult. It was quite a shock that Mihou had a kid.

“No- No- I-It’s not that. It’s just..” The Little Monkey took a deep breath to ready himself to finish his reply. “I’ve always wanted to meet you in person, but I can’t believe my dreams would taunt me like this.”

“Huh.. Who said I’m not the real deal, huh?” The king was far from one to let a fan down, so he pulled the kid closer and gave him a firm noogie. “Ya sure I’m not real?” he said with a playful tone as the cub giggled and repeated, “stop!” in a very non-serious tone. The ruler let him go after a moment and gave him a fond look. “Y’know.. It’s nice to have someone else here. These nightmares.. Gods, they suck.”

The Little monkey chuckled softly. “I hear ya’ there.” he commented, placing a hand behind his ears the same way his Shadow Dad always did. “Sometimes I wonder why they’re like this. If it’s a nightmare… Why does It feel so real?”

“I’m not sure these are normal dreams, kid-” the ruler began, before something loudly crashed behind the duo. Turning around revealed the one image both knew. The shadow form of The Six-Eared Macaque. It started laughing and the king knew he had to think quick. “Kid. I need you to wake up for me.” Wukong began, taking a tight grip of Mk’s shoulders.

“What?-” Mk tried to ask, but the king shook him frantically.

“I’m serious, kid. If you wake up right now, I’ll find whatever is causing these extra real nightmares and destroy it.” the ruler bargained, still shaking the youngling. Mk placed his hands on the grown monkey’s shoulders to stop him so he could talk, but the shadow form behind the king was getting bigger and clearly about to attack, so all the Little Monkey could do was gasp. The king seemed to know what this meant and yanked the kid’s hands away from his shoulders, sending the youngling off balance and plummeting off the roof with a yell. “Wake UP!”

—

“That was cruel, Macaque. Though I guess I could expect that by now.”

“Hehe.. Fine. But I think the real question is…

What did you think of my cub?”

—

Mk bolted up in his bed, shaken to his core. He swung his legs to the floor, and moved to sit down at his desk, flipping open his sketchbook and beginning to draw an image of the nightmare to get it out of his head. The best question he could think of, was the question,

Was that really the Monkey KIng?

——000000——

The Stick - Handmade

Tang was glad that his son had already gotten over finding out that Monkey King wasn’t perfect. In fact, he’d told him his nightmares had gotten better afterwards! I mean- they were still there, but they were better! And the Little Monkey’s admiration for the king had seemingly increased after discovering his hero had struggles too. It seemed to light a new spark in the kid’s mind.

His idol wasn’t perfect. In fact, he was once just like him(Aside from being a magic monkey and not a normal-ish human kid)! The scholar was so happy to see his son finding a way to cope.

Tang was deep in thought as he cut some fruits to bring up to the kid. Lucky him, for once, he didn’t cut his fingers. He carried the slices upstairs and opened Mk’s door, without knocking. “Xiao Houzi- What are you doing?”

The Little Monkey froze and looked at his Ba Ba, somewhat embarrassed. “It’s nothing. Just working on an art project.” he mumbled his explanation, a large stick laid across his lap, freed of its bark and half sanded..

The adult glanced at the large stick- like seriously, it was six feet long, -and how his son was carving it.. Oh my gosh. “Um- Just curious.. What is this art project?” he asked, starting to walk over to sit on the bed beside his kid.

Mk was embarrassed, but worked up the courage to mumble, “I’m making a replica of Monkey King’s staff.”

His Ba Ba gave him a grin in response and put down the plate of cut fruit. “I’ll help.”

——000000——

New Girl

Mei finally convinced her parents to let her go to normal school, and it was going great! She already had a group of friends, had met so many colorful characters, and not gotten in trouble for wearing pants! Honestly, this was going so much better than the prep-school she’d been going to before. Not to mention, this school had a system where if you got straight A’s for a month, you got a little card-thing that you could use to get a day off, and you were even allowed to give them out to your friends!

Her prep school left her knowing stuff meant for two grades above her, so it was super easy for her to get tons of days off. She was walking around with her friends when she noticed some super edgy kid who wore a headband that seemed to have a spell on it to keep his hair up. He also had some black wispy stuff coming off his ears and butt that made it look like he had extra ears and a tail. He seemed super cool, and right away, Mei wanted to be friends with him.

“Hm? Oh. I see you have your eye on Mk,” one of her friends commented, as she watched the kid- apparently called Mk -scare off a senior with a glare, when he was a freshman.

“Yeah! Why was that other kid so scared? He just glared at them,” she asked, excited to hear some tales of badassery.

“Oh? Well, that boy over there has gained a bit of a reputation. He can fight better than any other kid in the school, and he only does it to defend the demon kids!” the same friend from before explained.

“He’s stopped actually hurting people as much though. Rumor has it, he got therapy and it knocked the fight out of him,” the other friend she was walking with remarked as Mk checked on the kid the senior was bullying. “A shame, really. It’s so hot when he does fight.”

Wait- “Oh- D-Did you think I thought he was hot?” Mei questioned in confusion.

“Heh, it’s a little obvious, Mei.”

“No! I just wanna be friends with him because he’s super cool!” the dragon girl exclaimed.

“Oh, please. That kid’s never had any friends. It would take a lot to make him like you.”

“I’m willing to work for it! I’ll come up with the perfect plan to get him to be my friend. I’ll use my free-day slips to get us out of class, take him for a ride on my dragon-cycle and give him the best day of his life! Then I’m sure he’ll be my friend.” She was ready to do anything to make that kid laugh. He seemed so nice, and yet he still looked so, so, sad.

——000000——

Happy Birthday, Di Di

Mk was walking through the park on his birthday. His dads were setting up a little celebration and had him go out to do pretty much whatever he wanted until they were ready. He then spotted the strange boy who kept dropping flowers whenever he left, and immediately ran forward.

The lotus decorated boy smiled at him and started dashing away, seeming to slide effortlessly across the ground while Mk climbed through the trees. The Little Monkey chased his “Big Brother” through the park, across the street and into an alleyway where the older kid ducked behind a corner and disappeared as usual.

Monkey Kid looked around for the boy for a moment, before a tin fell on his head. Luck was on his side, because it landed right in his hands a moment later. He looked at the box and saw a sticky note with a small message on it. “Happy birthday, Di Di. -Love, Big Brother”

Mk chuckled at the sight and took off the note, now able to see the beautiful design on the tin. It seemed to be Nezha themed. Fitting for the flower boy.

The Little Monkey opened the tin and saw a beautiful Lotus pastry inside, and speaking of the inside, it had what looked to be velvet lining it. Wow.. That had to be a super expensive gift.

The younger teen looked around for his Ge Ge to try and thank him, but still couldn’t spot the older boy. He chuckled at the fact. Of course. “I’ll never understand you, Ge Ge.”

“Maybe.” Nezha said to himself. “I know I’ll talk to you in person someday, though. I can’t wait for that Little Brother.”

——000000——

Dragon’s Day

Mk finished his handmade replica of Monkey King’s staff and decided to bring it to school. He wanted to show it off, even though he didn’t have anyone to show it to. He just liked it, and thought it would make him feel stronger.. It was also nice to have a staff again, even if he’d stopped getting into fights as often. The feeling of the wooden bo staff in his hands was one he hadn’t realized he missed.

He noticed No’e getting bullied by Brutus again. Well, he might as well.

“HEY!” he exclaimed, shadows flickering to life around his form as he dashed forward and hit Brutus’ hands away from No’e. “Leave her alone, you bastard,” He shifted his grip on his staff anxiously, not wanting to hurt Brutus too much this time. He didn’t want a repeat of that day he got trapped on the roof.

Brutus… was he always that big?- Wait- obviously not. Why is he so big now? He gave a sickening smirk, scratching the disfigured bump Mk left with that strike. A reminder of his issues. Something he can’t fix by getting better. The Little Monkey shook, but remained in a readied stance. “Hehe.. The little coward finally shows his face again..” the extremely muscular teen taunted. “It’s about time you pay your dues for what you did to me,” he murmured, before looking down at the staff in Mk’s hands. “Tch. You decided to play pretend on today of all days?”

Mk shifts to a more protective stance rather than the offensive one he instinctively took up. "Why don't you," Brutus stepped forward. Mk stepped back. "stop playing," Brutus raised his hand. Mk lifted his staff to block. "the hero?" The bully struck his hand against the stick, then lifted the other to hit against it as well, snapping the intricately crafted, handmade, wooden staff in two.

Mk's mind stops working properly, simply repeating 'Danger! Danger! Danger!' as he moves on instinct, shoving No'e away and punching Brutus in his face, before running away through the halls. He managed to run through the crowd, barely being noticed by the other students, until he wound up cornering himself against the wall, lockers to either side and Brutus rapidly approaching.

He sat down and raised his arms to block, then saw a flash of pink, quickly overpowered by a stream of green. A girl who seemed to be a year older than him had run in and blocked Brutus' strike, growling- hissing- chittering? -some combination of the three, defensively. She had the ears, horns, tail, and scales of a dragon. Actually, looking closer, she was a dragon! “Leave him ALONE!” Wow. Using the royal voice to defend him. He must be special.

Brutus ran away from the dragon girl immediately. At least he could recognize when something’s just too powerful to punch it in the face and hope it goes away. “What a jerk,” the dragon said, putting her glamors back up and looking down at Mk with a small smirk. “Heya! I’m Mei, but my full name is Long Xiaojiao,” she told him, causing him to move from looking starry eyed (I mean, it’s a dragon) to looking confused.

“How the heck do you get Mei from Xiaojiao?” the Little Monkey questioned.

“How do you get Mk from Xiaotia-” She tried to rebut, but stopped when she saw Mk suddenly look threatened. “Uh.. It’s pretty simple. One of my friends when I was younger looked at me and said, “You don’t look like a Xiaojiao.. Mei.” and it kinda just stuck,” Mei decided it was better to not pry into Mk’s reasoning for disliking his real name. I mean, since when was that her right?

The Monkey Kid was startled by the respect and lowered his hackles as he realized she wasn’t trying to hurt him. “Ah.. Mk is short for Monkey Kid. My dads thought it was a good nickname since I acted like a little monkey.. Still do, honestly,” Mk explained, trying to give Mei the same courtesy she showed him.

The dragon reached down to help Mk up, as well as shaking his hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet ya’ Mk. Say, you wanna blow this pop-stand and get some cheese tea?” she asked rather casually.

“Did you hit your head? The first class hasn’t even started,” Mk was confused, until she pulled like, eight free-day slips from her pocket.

“Don’t worry. I got us covered,” She gave him a cat-like smile, clearly mischievous, yet he didn’t know why. Were they counterfeit or something?

“Well, I don’t have money, so I couldn’t pay even if we did go-” he tried again, but she cut him off.

“I’m a dragon, dude! My parents have a full on hoard! I can spare the extra moola,” Honestly, Mk hadn’t expected a dragon to be so approachable.

“I mean.. What’s in it for you?” the Little Monkey asked wearily.

“Ah, smart. Well, my deal is this. I will treat you to the best day of your life, and if I succeed… you have to be my friend,” Mei offered, sounding rather joking. “You can ask for whatever you want if I fail,”

“100,” Mk tested her.

“I’ll probably spend more than that today anyway. Deal!” The dragon snapped up the easy condition before the boy could reconsider. “As of this moment, I vow to you, Mk the Monkey Kid, that I in fact will give you the best day of your life,”

“Heh. We’ll see,”

—

Step 1- Drive dragon-cycle to cheese tea stand

Step 2- Treat Mk to cheese tea

Mei crosses off the first step on her list. Yeah.. She made a vague plan of how she’d handle this special day in hopes it’d increase her chances of making the edgy boy like her. She was waiting in line with Mk and noticed the boy scanning over the menu about fifty times. “Psst. Hey! Have you never been here before?” she whispered loudly to the anxious boy.

He quickly turned his head towards her, anxiety becoming more and more prevalent. “Yes! I-Is there anything I should know? What flavors are actually good once you take the cheese foam into account? Will people look at me weird if I don’t know what to-”

Mei placed one finger over his mouth and her other hand on his shoulder. “Shush. This isn’t some big fancy thing. Just pick whatever looks good and I’ll pay. I will teach you the ways of the cheese tea!” Her jokingly elegant tone made the Little Monkey’s anxiety dissolve in moments, leaving him all giggly!

“Hahaha- Shut up!” Mk said jokingly, lightly nudging Mei as he laughed, to which she did the same.

Before they could get too into the play-fight, the employee called them forward, as they were holding up the line. Mk ordered a mango cheese tea and Mei ordered a cranberry-dragon fruit combination with extra boba and extra cheese foam.

Step 2- Complete!

Step 3- Walk to AGA (Anti-Gravity Arcade)

Mei crossed off another step as Mk marveled in the flavor of the cheese tea. The duo walked normally for a small while, until the younger brought up his training. “I learned everything I know about fighting from my Shadow Dad,” Mk claimed, expecting the usual questions and denial of his original caretaker’s existence, and yet Mei responded with a simple,

“That sounds awesome! Having a Sifu who you actually connect with enough to straight up call him dad without a single worry? That’s life goals, dude,” The dragon didn’t seem to know what he meant, but she didn’t deny his past, and that was heartwarming for the younger teen. “The only one I’ve been trained by is too stiff to really do anything with. He doesn’t even seem to enjoy teaching. He’s just gunnin’ for that paycheck,” the older said spitefully. She clearly didn’t enjoy her lessons.

“Sounds rough… but, now that I know you’ve been trained before..” Mk trailed off, taking Mei’s cheese tea and placing it down alongside his own on a bench. The dragon girl was confused, until Mk pounced at her and knocked her off balance.

The duo play-wrestled in a way that was familiar for the younger teen. In fact, if he wasn’t too busy playing around, he may have started crying from the nostalgia of it all. Eventually, they had to stop their little play fight and get back on their way.

“So… Where are we going?” Mk decided to finally ask, and Mei seemed startled by the question.

“I~ forgot to tell you, didn’t I?” The Little Monkey nodded. “Ah. Well, we’re going to the AGA!” Mei said with a flourish. Mk had no clue what she meant. “Wait- You’ve never been there either?!” she exclaimed incredulously, getting in her friend’s face.

“No? Was I supposed to?” Mk’s more anxious and friendly personality was slowly coming out from behind the clouds again. The anger had passed, and he was returning to a better mental state. He was thankful for that.

Mei didn’t realize that though, ‘cause she was just ranting about how the AGA was the best arcade in the city, and all the games it had. She seemed to be slotting herself right into the hole his big brothers left when they had to go, and quite comfortably at that. “Dude, you okay?”

Huh?- Oh. Oh, he was crying. Oh gosh.. “Uh- Yeah! I’m fine.. You just… really remind me of someone I knew a long time ago. Sheesh- How long ago was that?” Mk tried to do the math on how long it’d been since he last saw the Shadow Twins.

Meanwhile, Mei was just wondering who she reminded him of. Clouds were moving in as they reached the doorstep of the AGA. ‘Guess Great Great Great thousand times Great uncle is getting angry,’ she thought to herself as she took another sip of her cheese tea.

Step 3- Complete!

Step 4- Forget that time exists while playing at the AGA

Mei crossed off the second to last point of her plan, before dragging Mk inside of the massive arcade that he was briefly starstruck by. While he looked out at the arcade, lights blaring, speakers booming, and people floating around, Mei purchased ten hours of gametime for herself and set up Mk with an account, which she then purchased ten hours for as well.

“C’mon Mk! Let’s go!” the dragon girl exclaimed, dragging the unprepared monkey into the Anti-Gravity section of the arcade. The two played for hours- well, Mei bought hours of playtime, so that’s not a surprise- but the two played for hours with only a short break for lunch. They got so lost in their games that Mk forgot to tell his dads where he was until Pigsy called in a panic while they were playing Monkey Mech.

Mei took the chance to dunk on Mk while he was on the phone until she overheard him saying, “Yeah. No I- I-I’ll start heading home now! Trust me, you’re gonna wanna meet her. She’s a dragon! Oop- Sorry. Gotta go!”

The dragon girl pouted at that. She still had a full hour of gametime left. “Aww~ Can’t we keep playing a little longer?” she pleaded to which he chuckled.

“No, Jie Jie. I’ve worried my dads enough,” Mk barely noticed what he’d called her..

But she definitely noticed it. “AWW! You called me Jie Jie! That’s so~ sweet! Just met you, and you’re already considering me family!”

“That happens a lot more than you’d think,” Mk muttered.

“Oh, fine. Just let me spend some of my tickets first,” Mei gave in shockingly easily, and landed back on the ground in front of the prize counter. She noticed Mk eyeing one of the toys they were handing out and decided to get it for him. “The massive Monkey King plush please!” she requested as she slammed her massive stack of tickets on the counter. “Oh! And the Dragon-Horse plush next to it!”

The technician was stunned by the fact that she actually had enough tickets for that. After they handed over the plushies, she cast a spell to keep them dry in the rain long enough to get to Mk’s place, meanwhile Mk was staring out at the rain and having flashbacks to the day he was dropped on his dads’ door. It was raining then too. He was breathing in and out anxiously until Mei shoved the massive Monkey King plush into his hands. “No way,” he mumbled as the dragon girl stepped out the door.

“What’re you waiting for Mk? I cast a spell to keep them dry till we get to your place!” she told him excitedly, before looking closer at the younger teen’s small frame. The plushie was the same size as him! Before she could think too much about how cute that was, she noticed the anxiety in his stance and the wisps of unstable magic that moved along his shivering form. “Do you… not like the rain?” He nodded. “Why?”

“Uh- B-Bad memories..” Mk mumbled.

Well, Mei couldn’t have that! She was a dragon for heck’s sake! Rain was kinda a big thing for them. “Okay then..” She walked over to him and crouched down with an exaggerated bow, dropping her glamors as she moved. “Then hop aboard, my dear little brother. They don’t call me the Dragon-Horse-Girl for nothin’!” she claimed and Mk processed the statement for a moment.

“Wait- Are you a descendant of Ao Lie?!”

..”Did I forget to say that?-”

“YES!!” The Little Monkey exclaimed, almost giddy. “Okay, okay! Uh- How do I… know I won’t fall off?” He sounded a bit more cautious now.

“Hmm.. Ooh! I know!” She barely took half a second before whistling for her dragon-cycle. It arrived with a sidecar attached, which she then placed Mk’s new plush into and buckled it in, even putting a helmet on it! She just put her own plush into the bike’s “saddle bag”. “There! Now just hold on tight. I’ll make sure you don’t fall,” she said, walking back over and crouching down for him to get on a moment later.

He was cautious, of course, but Mei hadn’t given him any reasons not to trust her - Not to mention, he really wanted to get home soon - so he hopped aboard. Once she was sure he was safe, she felt through the air with one foot for her first step. One foot on the first raindrop, she stepped forward with the other, slowly moving upwards as she got into a rhythm. Then, high above the city, she started moving faster, the dragon-cycle following on the ground- Mostly.

She occasionally slid on the rain to get lower and stepped up to get higher, Mk panicking slightly but continuously getting overpowered by laughter and the excitability brought on by the adrenaline rush and disbelief that he’s riding on the back of a human-formed dragon who is running on rain.

After a while, she spotted his place and slid down the raindrops to reach the ground, right in front of Pigsy’s Noodles. “WOO! That was EPIC! Now c’mon! Let’s hangout!- uh- assuming I was successful in making you wanna be my friend?”

“Heh! Yeah. You were successful, alright! That was amazing!” he exclaimed, hopping into the air and kicking his legs out with excitement.

“YES!” Mei shared in his excitement, punching the air happily. They grabbed their plushies from the dragon-cycle and entered Pigsy’s shop, chatting gleefully about Monkey Mech.

Tang looked at them in disbelief and commented, “I honestly thought you were gay, Mk.”

The Little Monkey looked over, somewhat confused and said, “Oh, yeah I am, actually. Me and Mei are just friends.” Mk explained.

He has a friend!

“And I’m Aroace.” Mei continued.

“Oh, really? I didn’t know that.” the younger teen mumbled. Pigsy was absolutely dumbfounded that his son had befriended a goddamn dragon, while Mr.Tang was vibrating at the fact that he now had access to a member of the dragon family to ask about their history. “C’mon, Jie Jie!” Mk said excitedly as he ran over to the stairs.

AND they were already sworn siblings?!

Shadow Dad chuckled mirthfully as Mei followed, just as excited.

"Uncle? We need you." his nephew's familiar voice requested through the earpiece.

The grown demon rolled his eyes and took one last cheerful look at his son before beginning to head down with a resigned, "Alright! I'm coming. I'm coming.."

—☆—

Nightmare Tripitaka:

And there ya go! Sorry it took me a while again, but again there was a lot to get through. Also, I got a little obsessed with TMNT and started doin’ some stuff with that. You might see what I’m doing in a while (I mean, like multiple months, maybe a year. You’ll see why when I show you that.) Anyways, without further ado,

Have fun, and happy scrolling!

Prev- Chapter 7 and Next- Chapter 9

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softpine · 1 year

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Ok I know this sounds bad but man…I find Elaine kind of annoying? Like, she does come off as very immature to me and it’s bothersome to see so many people translate that into innocence and…blindly defend her (especially the Austin haters). Elaine has flaws. She’s nosy. She doesn’t know when to stop. She doesn’t think far ahead. Yes, she is kind and funny and seems very sweet…but she’s flawed. I just wish people would look at her more critically like they do with Austin instead of trying to make her into a “perfect victim”. I’m blowing up Austin haters with my mind.

tbh... for every 1 austin hater there are 3 people condemning an austin hater. he's not getting nearly as much hate as people think he is jfksjds but the beauty of literary analysis is that everyone connects to different characters, so i'm not going to try to change your mind (i wouldn't want to even if i could, your interpretation is your own), i just want to share my thought process!

re: elaine having flaws. i agree!! i put a lot of care into making sure that each character has their own issues. i'm glad you see flaws in elaine, because they're there to create conflict. she is immature. sometimes her actions are completely unjustified, because my goal is to humanize every character, not to either endorse or denounce their actions. humans make confusing decisions when emotions are involved. another thing i do is put characters together who have flaws that will multiply in each others' presence. elaine is trusting and naive to a fault, she'll dig her nails into something before she lets it slip from her fingers, she's insecure in every way, and she has a very specific, fairy tale-esque view of her life, which she'll try desperately to make fit even when it doesn't work. she's 17 and she acts 17. austin is the opposite: he's realistic to a cynical degree, he thinks his life is shit and it will always be shit, but he's confident (sometimes annoyingly so) in his own abilities, and he has very little patience for trying to figure people out; tell it to him straight or he won't even try to understand. he's 18 but he's acted like an adult all his life. each of their flaws, which on their own wouldn't be so drastic, are compounded when they're together. austin himself is aware of their differences:

when previously, austin thought it was cute how elaine could be endlessly whimsical and care so deeply about other people, now he's wondering if maybe those traits are born from a lack of self identity. elaine interprets it as austin thinking she's "stupid" when that isn't the case – "stupid" is how elaine feels about herself. i also think it's important to note that austin knew exactly who elaine was when he asked her out. he likes her personality and that includes her flaws. (i don't want to go too far into detail because after just 1 more scene you'll hear it from his own mouth). it's only in moments of conflict that these personality traits take on a negative connotation.

the same concept can be applied to the scene we just saw. elaine's flaws (being too nosy, taking things personally when they have nothing to do with her) are compounded due to stevie's flaws (closing herself off out of fear, every emotion feels BIG because she was never taught how to deal with them). suddenly, elaine's interest in stevie's relationship is a bad thing, when previously stevie joked about it and had no problem with her meddling. let's be real, stevie and matt NEVER would've dated for as long as they did if it weren't for elaine's meddling. there were no consequences for those actions in the past (stevie never told her to stop) so she didn't even see it as a flaw. it's only now she's re-thinking everything.

my point with all this is that of course elaine has flaws. i don't feel that the narrative gives any extra credence to her flaws than the other characters. you will never hear me say that elaine is without fault, but she deserves just as much understanding and sympathy as austin does. they're both so very young, they have their whole lives to learn and grow 💖

#i can't help it elaine is juliet capulet coded sjfkjsd #asks #anonymous #nonsims #brandi answers #ableism tw #just for my use of the word stupid (i hope it's clear i do not think elaine or anyone else is 'stupid')

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punkalope · 10 months

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There are so many ways Tumblr can help boost creators or engagement without making some kind of algorithmic feed I swear. Bring back the old tag viewing imo. Fix the search...

I know a lot of this isn't even entirely tumblrs fault though. Kids aren't taught how to use computers anymore because of the dumb "digital natives" myth, and so they're right when they say "tumblr is too hard to use for most new users".

I saw a 16 year old on twitter the other day have a public breakdown over that site dying because they didn't WANT to use tumblr and claimed it was "too difficult". It is, quite literally, too hard to use for ipad babies (noah fence to said ipad babies, it ain't their fault either, I'm just venting my own frustrations). Not to mention tumblr has to appeal to investors who are just adult ipad babies tee-bee-ache.

Most people use the internet now. Anyone who's grown up with it or has been on the internet for more than 10 years will know this is a bad sign, but a vast majority of people who use computers now are new and rely on everything being simple and convenient. Companies prey on the fact that internet safety or computer literacy isn't taught to anyone anymore because it gives them an excuse to spy on you and make money. Back when the tech literate were the majority, we could say no to shit and it'd work, because we were the ones who made people the money, but now we aren't - it's investors and the people who don't really understand what they're looking at and just trust what's being told to them because it's just easier that way.

And these people don't have many options if they do realize they don't like what's happening, because their only other options seem to be things that aren't medium level computer literacy but straight up high level. I consider myself pretty tech savvy but I hate the idea of the fediverse! It ain't for me and it def ain't for the average consumer, yet people try to push it, and it feels like there's no middle ground.

Argh. Arhgh.

#burrow.html

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docholligay · 2 years

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As someone who read a LOT as a kid but as an adult, I am kind of burnt out from reading even though it has been a good amount of time since i graduated, (Gifted Child Program so I was going through several books a week) I want to start reading again but I have no idea where to start without having burnout.

So we're familiar with my work, before I answer this. I am a very straightforward person and I don't often mince words. I can't be sitting across from you, and so you can't read my body language. So you'll have to trust that while I'm gonna be a little hard on you, it's done with a smile and the understanding that you wouldn't ask me if you didn't want an honest answer.

First off, we're all a little old to be blaming being a gifted kid. I was also in Gifted and Talented. I am, realistically, neither. That is not me dogging on myself. I don't think I'm a useless or whatever person. I just think, I'm just as gifted and behind, in a patchwork as anyone. I think some people trip on discovering, when they get older, that they were never ever special, they could just read well or do math good or whatever, and it didn't spin out to success in life.

That's...actually not the G&T program's fault. We can argue if the G&T program is a good thing--I think it's mixed bag--and we can argue that one's parent's made you think it meant something, but: We're all adults now, and the statute of limitations on blaming a program that told us we were SMART when we were, what eight to twelve? For our lack of motivation now, is pretty much over. We gotta own our own bullshit, friend. That's the start.

I graduated with a whole-ass double major in literature and history, despite being an ADHD sack of shit I cannot TELL you how many books I read in a week, and how often I read a book in a DAY sometimes because I put it off. I still love to read.

Having read a lot of books when you were ten is not the problem. I say this with my hand on your knee and a kind eye, but its the truth.

You probably loved to read when you were a kid because it was your form of escapism, and as we've gotten older, forms of escapism have gotten incredibly sophisticated and made specifically to encourage addiction/addiction-style behaviors in us. It's your phone. I'm talking about your phone. Flash games, social media, etc, its all designed to fuck with us. And whenever I say this, its ASTOUNDING how many people are like, "well fuck can't do anything about it then" instead of getting pissed off. I got pissed off ahaha. I don't like to be taken in!

So let's take the word "burnout" off the table. I don't find it helpful. I guess if you find it in some way a useful tool, more power to you, but let's refocus our way of thinking about our behaviors as things we control rather than things that happen to us. Just try it on for size for me.

I think reading is a fantastic tool to reteach us how to focus our attentions, and help us regain things that technology intentionally seeks for us to lose. You can absolutely sit and do something for an hour or two, I know this because I would be willing to lay every dollar of money in my bank account on the fact that you can sit and play on your phone for an hour. This isn't me saying you suck, or you're stupid, or anything like that. I can also get caught up in bullshit.

You have to set up specific time to allow reading to work for you, and that means renegotiating your relationship with technology, often. For me, it is reading in the bathtub and putting my phone in another room. I'm not going to get out of the tub, walk into another room, just to see if someone hearted my comment*. I read in bed at night, and at night? My phone gets turned all the way the fuck off. This has helped my sleep immensely, for starters. After 10 pm, or so, I am dead to the world. If there's an emergency, I trust the pony express. The odds are low.

Before I had the baby, Shabbat was specifically set up as a time where I didn't have my phone at all, it got shut up and put in a drawer, and I HAVE to get back to that, it was such an incredible reshaping of my mind and my relationship with myself.

So, like so many things in life, it's SIMPLE, even if it isn't EASY. Pick up a book you know you like--I'm a big believer in pushing ourselves with our media but first things first**. And make time to read it. Start with a half hour three times a week. The phone is not allowed to be around. Let yourself dip back into WHY you liked reading. Let your imagination run wild, let yourself live another person's life, learn to see things in your mind again! Anyone can do it, if they want to. And it's okay...not to want to. If you genuinely would rather play video games and watch anime, that's actually fine. Just be straight up. "I don't like reading. I like to play video games and watch anime." Honesty is the best policy. Don't just say "I love to read but I can't but" just because you wish you were the kind of person who loved to read.

It's like I often say to myself, 'The shitty thing about calling myself a distance runner is it means I have to run distances' as I trod off to run another ten miles ahaha. Like, I think it would be easy to say, 'Oh I love to clean and organize, but I can't because I have a baby" Bitch I love to clean and organize, except for the fact that I fucking hate every minute of it, and my behavior bears that out. I clean! But because I have to, to be a partner and family member. I will NEVER EVER take my spare time to do it outside of my chore cahrt that I force myself into. NEVERRRRRRR. Even with all the time and label makers in the world.

This is because I don't like it. Same with other shit I wish I liked doing: strength training, sewing, drawing.

But I believe I could learn to like those things, if I made it a part of my life. I believe that thoughts often follow actions. Whe I started running, I did not like it, and sometimes I still don't, but overall I love being the person who runs, and I love how I feel after a run.

You can be the person who reads!

*Again, I am human! I also desperately want the validation and connection of these things. But I ALSO know I need to be wary of such.

**Another good way to do this, initially, is to allow yourself comfort with books but not tv/movies. If you watch tv or a movie it has to be something challenging instead of comforting, but in books it can be ca comfort read. Just to start changing associations.

#CAn"T WQAIT FOR THE HATEMAIL ON THIS ONE

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anamoon63 · 1 year

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TIME TRAVELER: E210. CHANGING THE SUBJECT

At the same time, in Juliette's house...

"Well, it looks like he did go to sleep after all," Robin commented, as they walked in the house. "Yeah, I guess his lunch will have to wait," Juliette replied. "But he had a wonderful time, he looked so happy around you." "I had a great time too. I can't wait to live all together, which will be soon, I hope." "I hope so too," Juliette answered, then they just stood there, looking at each other for a few seconds…

"You still haven't told me, how come your mother decided not to join us today?" Robin asked to change the subject, as he placed Rowan on the swing; Juliette let out a sigh. "Well, in the end the respect for my privacy prevailed in her; she understood that we're adults now, thankfully".

"But she still doesn't trust me, does she?" "Of course she trusts you, and Dad does too. I'm not going to lie, they were both a little sad that Row no longer carries the last name Shen, but overall, they're happy and grateful to you - just like me. Really, I can't thank you enough for what you did today". "You don't have to thank me; I just did what I had to do as a father."

"I know, and I thank you for that too. But I wasn't talking about the registry, I meant you and Row, you are right for each other; to see you play together like that, how you understand each other so well, was just beautiful. This whole day itself, it was perfect."

"Yeah, it certainly was." Robin replied. Again, they stood looking at each other. He, holding back his desire to kiss her; she, fighting the impulse to throw herself in his arms.

Until Robin took a few steps away and cleared his throat, willing to change the subject once more. "Do you know if your father has been able to unlock the document yet?" he asked; Juliette snapped back to reality. "Ah, yes, about that…", she stammered.

"Dad told me he was close to figuring it out with the help of a friend, Dr. Beaker." She replied, following Robin across the room. "Great, I hope the document actually contains information about my parents, and about the true reason the Oasis Landing Council is chasing me." "I look forward to that as well."

"It would be amazing if your parents were alive, don't you think?" "Yes, and a bit of a shocker, too." "If they are, and you could meet them right now, what would you do or what would you say to them?" "Honestly? I don't know." "Why, aren't you excited at the thought of having them with you after all this time?"

"Well, I know this is going to sound terrible, but sometimes I'd rather think they're dead, than to think they abandoned me, and that being alive all these years, they never tried to contact me". "Well, no parent abandons a little kid just like that, maybe something happened that forced them to leave you, maybe it wasn't even their fault". "Maybe. But I find that hard to believe."

---

Credits and thanks to Doylegirl @andebebe for her lovely Cuddly Toddler pose pack.

#the sims 3 #sims 3 gameplay #sims 3 siimblr #sims 3 into the future #the crane legacy #time traveler #aurora skies #the cranes #robin crane #juliette shen #rowan shen #my sims 3 stories #los sims de ana

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sevoir · 1 year

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i was a kid but i wasn't clueless (someone who loves you wouldn't do this)

home is a ritzy, white-glove building in the heart of seoul. the im's own two floors at the top. their apartment has fourteen rooms, including five bedrooms with private bathrooms, a maid's quarters, a ballroom-sized living room, and two lounges with wet bars. floor-to-ceiling windows by the living room look over the namsan mountain, and in the dining room, the view of the hangang river is breathtaking.

seryung's stepfather bought the penthouse as a first anniversary gift to seryung's mother. a concrete effort in constructing a family. seryung noticed. and while she may no longer be so generous with her trust in her mother's husbands, she's excited nonetheless to have dinner with everyone. her mother promised they would only be away on business for a few weeks, but seryung knows better. she hurries to the elevator, knowing this is the last family dinner they'll have in a while. maybe months, maybe years. a lifetime of saying goodbye doesn't makes it easier.

(kkt) i'm late!!! hold down the fort? i'm on my way up mom just canceled dinner. they went up to their room. why? what happened?? she saw the gg post. how? she saw me looking at it on my phone. sorry. no of course its not your fault. i'm sorry food's not cold yet. :) i'll be back. wait for me!! i just have to get something.

something is ten shots of whatever wherever, her tongue down the throat of whoever. she kisses the boy on her arm and the boy at the bar and the boy by the exit, hoping they'll make her feel better, but she can't get rid of the sick feeling in her stomach. her heart feels heavy and she keeps feeling like she's sinking. seryung walks around all night feeling like she has cinderblocks tied to her ankles, and finally, she slips and stumbles out and she feels—she feels—

as she tries to find the word for it, she tries to get a cigarette from her purse. it falls to the wet ground. she bends over to pick it up but her head hurts and her heart hurts and the world is spinning and she's going to be sick. seryung ends up sitting on the ground, practically dry heaving as she struggles to take the next breath, and the next, and the next. she figures it out. she feels like shit.

not a minute later, a familiar black car rolls up to the curb and stops in front of her. it looks so sorely out of place in all that squalor that she almost laughs. the door opens, expensive leather shoes touch the ground. she doesn't have to look up to know who it is. he holds his hand out to her. it doesn't really feel like a choice, so she takes it. then she's sitting inside the family car and they're driving far far away and she doesn't have to ask, but she does, "how did you know where i was?"

he levels her with a stare, like he trusts her to know the answer. it's a responsibility no one ever gives her. it's so heavy, it anchors her to the present, makes her want to sober up quicker. she should be angry that her stepfather has tacked p.i.'s on every member of the family, that everyone wants her to think this is fine and normal. but he's looking at her like he trusts her—to know, to understand, to be an adult—and she doesn't want to let him down.

they're home sooner than she hopes. the enormous apartment is empty. she doesn't have to ask to know her mother has already left for the airport. her brother is probably asleep—he must have known she wasn't coming back so soon.

her stepfather sits beside her at the dinner table. a maid comes over seconds later with two glasses of juice and two plates of cake.

"your mother told me what happened."

seryung tastes salt on her cake. she wipes at her eyes and smears mascara across her face. she sniffles, swallows. "don't worry. it's not true," she says, harsher than she intended, but she immediately feels how weightless her words are.

she can feel him nod, considering her for a second. she sighs. "those are serious accusations," he says, "i could—"

"no, it's just a stupid gossip thing. no one believes it," she cuts him off, but even she doesn't believe herself. seryung looks up at him, watching him eat cake with her. he's not her father. but he left home specifically to find her, to bring her back, like he knew she needed a reminder that she was loved.

he's not her father. he put in the effort, reached out to her.

seryung wipes at tears that have already dried. she tries to take another slice of cake from her plate only to realize all of it is gone. he notices and pushes his plate towards her. she shakes her head, feels herself choke. seryung swallows hard and does her best to down the juice in front of her. "i'm sorry if i caused any trouble for you," she says, a bit more sober.

she thinks he smiles at her. he looks at his watch. "i have to leave now. we have a plane to catch." he's looking at her the way he did in the car. she doesn't know what to do with all of his trust.

seryung nods, as understanding as she can. "have a safe trip," she says, "and— and... tell mom it's not true. but i'm sorry anyway. i didn't—" she exhales a heavy sigh, presses her fingers to throbbing temples, "i didn't mean to make her embarrassed of me again or... i— i know why it was so easy to believe."

he nods once as he gets up, then she's watching him walk away. he's not her father. the space he leaves behind doesn't feel so empty.

#𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒆 ❀#hot glueing the pieces of her bio i couldnt fit in her about lmfaoa

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casspurrjoybell-25 · 9 months

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ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS - Chapter 20

*Warning: Adult Content*

Jayce stared at the wall of his hotel room, sighing before he looked back at his laptop.

This would be the fifth job application he'd submitted today.

He hoped someone would call him back but he worried that because it was now December and the holidays were approaching, companies wouldn't be hiring until the new year.

He had enough savings to stay in this hotel for the rest of the month but after that, he'd have to start bringing in some money if he wanted to make sure he had enough to pay for the deposit and first month's rent for a new apartment.

To make things worse, most of the apartments he'd looked at wanted proof of employment and current pay stubs, so he couldn't even get an apartment until he got a job.

It was stressful but it wasn't what was bothering him most.

Dylan was constantly on his mind.

He missed the quiet, gentle man.

He missed Dylan's huge arms wrapped around him, Dylan's warm lips against his and the way Dylan seemed to smell like Christmas.

He still didn't understand quite what had gone wrong.

Dylan seemed to like him and he'd told Jayce he could be himself.

But maybe what had happened was what always happened to him, as soon as he wasn't perfect, guys left him.

He'd challenged Dylan about going into town and brought up Dylan's flaws and a few hours later, Dylan had sent him back to Seattle.

The other possibility was that his helplessness and tendency to turn everything into a disaster had been too much for Dylan.

Because of his poor planning, he'd caused a missing persons fiasco, wasted everyone's time and caused the police to show up at Dylan's door.

Most people wouldn't be happy about that.

He hadn't known his brother was going to invite him for Thanksgiving this year or that both his brother and his parents would panic when they didn't hear back from him and couldn't get in touch with him.

It was nice to know his family actually did care.

Since he missed Thanksgiving with them, he had been invited to fly to his brother's house for Christmas.

Giving up on the job applications for now, he crawled onto the hotel bed and sank down with his face in the pillows.

He was upset about how things had turned out with Dylan and he'd spent more time moping around than he wanted to admit.

Every time he closed his eyes, he pictured Dylan's face.

He didn't know how things would have worked out between them, especially living several hours apart from each other but he'd at least wanted to try being in a relationship with Dylan.

Beside him on the bed, his phone started vibrating.

He picked it up quickly, hoping maybe it'd be someone from one of the jobs he'd applied to but he sighed when he saw it was just his brother calling him.

Again.

"Hey, Matt," he answered. "I'm still okay. Not lost anywhere. You don't need to keep checking up on me."

"I know but I want to. I feel bad for being too wrapped up in my own life to keep in touch on a consistent basis. That's going to change."

"You have a wife and kids. You should be focused on them."

"And I can focus on you too," Matt sighed. "I didn't know Dad and Mom were being so weird about you being gay. If I had known, I would have done a lot of things differently."

"It's not your problem."

"It is, especially when my little brother takes off into the mountains without telling anyone and almost dies."

"I'm fine," he insisted. "I promise. I won't ever do that again, trust me."

"You still owe me the detailed version of what happened. I mean, some guy who lived in the mountains found you? You can't just leave it at that."

"Okay," he sighed.

He started filling Matt in about Dylan and he couldn't help but tell him everything.

He needed to talk to someone about Dylan and about how he had messed it all up.

"That's quite a story," Matt said.

"Yeah. I just wish I hadn't screwed things up."

"Jayce, I don't think it's your fault. Based on everything you just told me about Dylan, he's had a rough life. This might be something you should talk to Heather about."

He had only spoken with Matt's wife Heather a few times but she had always been kind to him.

And she was a therapist, so it probably wouldn't hurt to get her perspective.

Heather's warm, upbeat voice filled his ear.

"Hey, Jayce. I'm glad you're okay and safely back in Seattle. You had us all worried."

"I'm fine," he assured her. "I didn't mean to cause all this trouble."

He gave her a brief recap of the past couple months but spent most of the time telling her about Dylan.

She listened carefully, taking a moment to think before giving her opinion.

"If you really like Dylan and want to have a relationship with him, the first thing both of you will have to do is communicate better. It sounds like you both have insecurities and you need to talk to each other about those. Second, you're going to have to take the lead on a lot of things. Dylan's had a sheltered life and it doesn't seem like he's had much opportunity for human interaction. He doesn't have the same social skills that you do. You're going to have to be patient with him. There may be days when he lashes out or doesn't know how to handle a situation. I suspect that's what happened when he sent you home."

"I didn't think about all of that," he admitted.

"If you want to talk to him again or see him again, you'll need to be the one to reach out. There could be any number of things Dylan is thinking but it's possible that after everything he's been through, he doesn't believe you actually want to be around him."

He listened carefully to everything Heather said, asking a few follow-up questions before they hung up.

He was grateful to have her advice and see the situation from someone else's perspective.

It gave him hope that things didn't have to be over with Dylan.

For days, Dylan had laid in his bed, barely eating and ignoring the world around him.

The silence he'd once loved was stifling now.

Jayce was gone and he'd give anything to hear Jayce's laugh again or listen to him ramble on, filling the room with the sound of his voice.

He pulled the blanket over his head and clutched the scarf he'd given to Jayce.

After Jayce had left, he'd found the scarf draped over a chair.

Apparently, Jayce didn't want to take it with him and didn't want any reason to remember him or his time in the cabin.

The rejection stung but he buried his face in the scarf and breathed deeply. It still smelled like Jayce.

He knew he needed to get up and move on with his life.

More snow had fallen and he needed to clear the driveway again and bring in more firewood.

And if he wanted fresh fruit and vegetables, he'd have to do what he dreaded most, go back into town to the grocery store.

A few hours later, he pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store.

He stared at the building in front of him, hoping there wouldn't be many people inside.

He hoped he could get in, get what he needed and get out before anyone noticed him.

Inside the store, a group of teenagers were in the bakery section looking at the desserts and an older woman was slowly pushing a cart down one of the aisles as she browsed.

He kept his head down and headed straight to the produce section.

He quickly picked out what he wanted before taking a detour to grab some fish fillets as well.

He was about to turn the corner into the next aisle when he heard the whispers of the teenagers he'd seen when he entered the store.

"Did you see that creepy guy is in here?" one of the girls said. "I heard that he kidnapped a hiker and kept him in some weird cabin up in the mountains."

One of the guys chimed in.

"My dad said the same thing and told me to stay away from him. Like I would ever go near him. Something's wrong with that guy."

His heart sank hearing their words.

He didn't know how the information about Jayce being at his cabin had gotten out but it shouldn't have surprised him that people were twisting the story to make him out to be a threat.

Now, people's stares were going to be even worse.

The teenagers laughed about something and he focused on their words again.

"That big scar on his face looks so bad," another girl whispered. "I don't know why he walks around like that instead of trying to cover it up."

He felt sick.

It was one thing for his mind to fill in the blanks about what people must be thinking as they stared at him but it was another thing entirely hearing their real thoughts.

He couldn't stand another second of being in public with everyone's watching eyes, so he dropped his basket of groceries and quickly fled from the store.

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