#i dont care if you dont eat meat but dont shove it down other peoples throats and dont try to act holier than thou | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

apriorisea · 4 years

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Hiii~ sorry to bother you, i dont know if you're still taking request but can you write something where the reader had to turn down a job she really wanted and member (joon, hoseok or yoongi) comforts her? Ps you're my fav blog please keep writing💕

Hi! You’re not bothering at all~ Thank you so much for the request, and the feedback! You’re so, so sweet! It really means a lot. Here’s my take on the scenario, I hope you enjoy!! 💜💕

“Whatever You Want” Namjoon x You

“Okay.” You release a deep breath and turn to face Namjoon. “How do I look?” He sits up a little, pretending to scrutinize your appearance before the grin breaks across his face. “Perfect,” he says. Then, suddenly frowning, he scoots to the edge of the bed and adds, “Except...come here, babe.” “What?” you ask nervously, reaching up to smooth your hair. “What is it?” You move towards him when he doesn’t answer. “Just...” He waits until you’re within his reach, then grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his lap. Smiling at your startled laughter, he says, “Just this...” before leaning in to kiss you softly. When he finally releases you, you give him a look. “Namjoon, I love you---but if you just messed up my hair, I’m going to have to kill you.” He laughs. “Fair enough. All right, up you get.” He stands up after you. “Let’s make sure you’re still perfect as ever.” You roll your eyes at his comment, but when he runs his gaze over you, purposefully slow, you can’t stop your heart from beating a little louder. “Well?” “As I said,” he grins, bending down to place a soft, gentle kiss on your cheek: “Absolutely perfect.” Ignoring the blush that creeps over your face, you give him a sincere smile. “Thanks. Ugh, I’m so nervous.” He reaches out and takes your hand, guiding you out of the bedroom and down the hall. “Don’t think about that,” he says. “Just soak it all in. You’ve worked hard for this, my love; you deserve all the good things. Did you eat lunch?” You shake your head. “Do you want me to make you something?” You shake your head again, feeling sick. “Okay, okay.” He squeezes your hand. “Just relax.” Releasing your hand, he grabs your long, black peacoat and helps you into it, careful not to disturb your perfectly planned outfit. “They’re going to love you.” “As much as you love me?” you ask playfully. He fakes outraged shock. “Never.” Grabbing the lapels of your coat, he pulls you to him slowly. “I just love you too much,” he murmurs, before brushing another kiss against your lips. This time when he releases you, you’re ready to go. “Okay.” You exhale again, turning towards the door. “Wish me luck.” “You don’t need it. You’ve got this, babe. It’s all yours, whatever you want.” You smile. “See you tonight.”

The first thing you notice when you enter the office is the impossibly immaculate marble flooring. The receptionist, a woman about your age, looks up and smiles brightly. “Good afternoon. May I help you?” “Y-yes.” You clear your throat and try again. “Yes, thank you.” Handing her the paperwork (and making sure to keep your hand from shaking) you add, “I have an appointment?” She studies the paperwork for just a moment, and you see her eyes widen at something. “Oh you---you’re here for the new position.” “Yes.” It still filled you with giddy excitement: this was literally your dream job, a perfect position to reward all the work you had put in, the menial internships and starter jobs that had led you to this point. You almost don’t notice it when her face falls a little. “Of course. One moment, please.” She opens her mouth like she wants to say something else before changing her mind. Grabbing the phone instead, she dials a few numbers then says into the receiver: “Yes, your afternoon appointment is here.” She listens, then hangs up. “If you wait just a moment, someone will take you back to the offices.” You nod eagerly. “Thank you so much.” She merely smiles, and an unsteady silence falls over you. “The floors in this building are just gorgeous,” you say after a minute, trying to dispel the awkwardness and distract yourself from your own nerves at the same time. “Oh, yes,” she agrees. “They’re the very best, top of the line. We only have the best here.” You smile, even though her response doesn’t really invite much conversation. “How long have you worked here?” “Six years.” “Six--?” You cut yourself off. “Oh. That’s...that’s great. You must really like it here.” To yourself, you think: 6 years as an entry-level receptionist?? She doesn’t really answer. The awkward silence falls again. Finally, a door behind you opens and another woman (this one several years older than you) steps into the waiting area. “Hello,” she says with a practiced smile. “I’ll take you back now to meet with the boss.” “Great.” You turn to the receptionist, but find her already engrossed in another matter. Uncomfortably, you take a quiet deep breath and cross to where the other woman stands. “Thank you so much.” She just nods pleasantly, ushering you through the door. The first thing you notice when you enter the work floor is that you are surrounded by men. Every single desk, every cubicle, is occupied by a man. The second thing you notice is that they all look the same; a sea of the same skin color, haircut, and expression. Somewhere deep down in your stomach, a tiny pit appears. To distract yourself, you catch the attention of your guide. “How long have you worked here?” you ask, trying to keep a pleasant smile on your face. “12 years.” “Oh, wow. That’s great.” She just nods. “I saw your resume,” she adds. “I graduated from the same university.” “Really??” Some of the pit recedes. “What was your major?” “Same as yours,” she says with a little tip of her head. The pit whimpers. “Oh, that’s...that’s really cool,” you say falteringly. She nods again. “I’m certain it’s changed since I was there,” she adds with a laugh. “It has been quite a while.” “I---” The words die on your tongue as you distinctly hear someone call out “Damn, that’s some nice fresh meat” from behind you. Turning sharply, you’re unable to tell which cubicle the comment came from. You look back at your guide and are shocked to see her completely unaffected. Maybe she didn’t hear it... “They are constantly renovating it,” you agree belatedly. Finally, the two of you reach the boss’ office. Without another word, the other woman reaches up and knocks three times on the door. “Enter!” a voice calls from inside. She pulls the door open and ushers you inside the office, where you find yet another man sitting at a desk. “Your 3:15, sir,” she says respectfully. For the second time that day, a pair of eyes wander up and down your frame, but this time you just feel sick. “Ah,” the boss says with a smile. “Lovely. Come on in, doll, have a seat.” You clear your throat and correct him with your name, trying to remain as polite and calm as you can. His smile never wavers, but he ignores your correction and turns away from you to regard the other woman. “So, is the coffee-maker located in a different city, or...?” She blushes deep crimson and nods her head awkwardly. “It’s coming, sir. Very sorry about that.” “Don’t be sorry, just bring the coffee,” he says a little dismissively. “And better add a few muffins, don’t you think, doll?” “Yes, sir. Of course.” He waves her away. “Go on.” The pit has swallowed your entire stomach and is now screaming. “So.....” The boss fixes his gaze on you, and you resist the urge to squirm uncomfortably. “I assume you’re familiar with our company?” “Yes.” You try to ignore the pit, but it’s getting more difficult by the second. “Of course. I was thrilled, actually, to be offered a position here. It fits exactly what I’m looking for, and I think I can be a great asset to the team.” He huffs a soft laugh. “Yes,” he agrees, “A great asset, indeed.” “I’m sorry??” Waving it away, he goes on, “Now doll---” “My name isn’t doll.” The faux-cheeriness falls away quickly. “Don’t get your panties in a twist,” he says derisively. “It’s just a term of endearment. Think of it like a compliment.” Your mouth actually falls open at this one. “A--a compliment?” “Yep. See, doll, we have a system here, an organic sort of environment where people go with the flow.” His eyes harden. “If you manage to remember your place within that environment, you’ll be just fine.” You straighten in your chair. “It is highly unprofessional for you to address me in that way,” you say stiffly. “I believe I’ve already made my opinion on that clear.” You brace yourself for his angry retort. Instead, he laughs in your face. Literally leans forward in his chair and guffaws at you. “Your opinion?? You think I’m hiring you for your opinion? Please.” Your cheeks are hot. “Then what, exactly, did you hire me for?” “Gotta fill a quota,” he shrugs, leaning back in his chair and leering at you again. “And that old hag out there clearly couldn’t cut it even as a waitress, so it’s time for her to go. One out, one in. By the way, do you know how to make espresso?” “No,” you answer tightly, feeling the rage build inside you. “Better learn, then, dollface,” he says with a wink. “Your looks are only 50% of why you’re here. Well, then.” He sits forward, shoving a stack of looseleaf papers in your direction. “Sign on the dotted line, look up a few coffee how-to videos tonight, and come ready to smile tomorrow morning, all right?” He literally pushes the contract into your hands. When you don’t respond, he finally seems to notice your seething anger. The pleasant facade fades. “Problem, dollface?” he asks intently, watching you. Before you can speak, he heaves a dramatic sigh and goes on, “Think carefully before you answer, sweet cheeks. You know how prestigious our company is. Don’t miss out on an opportunity just because of a little girlish pride.” He rolls a pen at you. “I’ll even let you use my expensive pen. Got this from the president himself. Go on, sign your name.” You’re so angry you’re shaking, but you reach out and take the pen; you notice that it’s extremely high quality, carefully engraved with fancy lettering. It must have cost a lot. “My name,” you ask, your voice so quiet he has to lean forward to hear, “Or dollface?” He guffaws again, but it’s cut short in surprise when you rocket to your feet. “You’re disgusting,” you say, rage clipping your words. A million other insults are racing through your mind, but in the end you choose no words: instead, you drop the stack of papers back on the desk and spin on your heel, heading for the door. Yanking it open, you turn back: “To hell with you and your company,” you say, then hold his pen aloft---and promptly drop it in the trash. Before he can speak, the other woman reappears, a mug of coffee and plate of muffins in hand. She takes one look at how your hands are shaking with fury, and instead of looking shocked or alarmed, she looks resigned. It only makes you angrier. So in one smooth motion, you take the mug of coffee from her and carefully, deliberately, pour it into the trash. “Hey! You crazy bitch---that’s my pen!!” His outcry soothes some of your rage, and for the first time, you’re able to smile. Turning to the woman, you nod your head at the plate of food and say, “I’d throw those muffins in there, too, if I were you.” Without another word, you leave the office, head held high all the way down to your car. As soon as you shut and lock the doors, you’re able to fully feel what the pit of fury has been covering: heartbreak.

As soon as you open the door to the apartment, you can smell it: pizza, from your favorite restaurant. No matter how good it smells, it can’t break through your layers of fury. “Hail the conquering hero!” Namjoon sings out as he pops into view; in one hand he has a bouquet of daisies (your favorite) and in the other he’s holding a box of your favorite brand of expensive chocolates. “Welcome home, babe!” You’re speechless. A quick scan of the room reveals the rest of his plans: the table is set with 2 boxes of your favorite pizza, the TV is on and your guys’ favorite video game is loaded, the controllers waiting on the empty couch. He had clearly planned a celebration of your “accomplishment.” You can’t help it: the angry tears clog your throat, burning your eyes and spilling down your cheeks. “Babe...” He looks shocked. Quickly ridding himself of the flowers and the chocolates, he goes to you. Taking your face in his hands, he says, “What happened??” “I’m not going to work there,” you say hotly, tears still streaming down your face. Fear is starting to mix with his concern. “What happened? Are you okay? Did---” “I’m okay,” you manage. Carefully moving out of his grasp, you step all the way into the apartment, shrugging out of your coat and dropping it on the floor. “But that company---they’re just---” Sensing how absolutely wild you feel, he changes tactics: grabbing your hand, he pulls you to the couch and sits down with you, turning towards you. “Tell me.” So you do. You tell him everything, from the uncomfortable atmosphere and whispered catcall to the words ‘dollface’ and ‘sweet cheeks.’ You tell him about the way the man had spoken to you, his open admission about your position, the suggestive way he had looked at you. “How can a company like that still exist??? And those women, they--” you choke on a sob. “The one woman was exactly like me. She graduated with the same degree from the same university, and he turned her into a coffee-girl. I can’t believe I ever wanted to work for them! I hope their building catches fire, I hope both of those ladies quit, I hope he gets hit by a bus, I---” Your anger can’t even find words anymore. “It was disgusting. I should have--should have thrown that coffee in his face or-or something.” You suddenly realize that your boyfriend hasn’t said a word the entire time. Angrily wiping at your eyes, you turn to look at him; and find him absolutely livid. “...Joon?” “I’m going to end him,” he growls. “I’m going to burn that entire place to the ground.” “Baby---” He gets to his feet suddenly. “I’ll make sure he loses everything, make sure the entire country knows the truth about that place.” He starts pacing, his mind racing in a thousand different directions. “The lawsuit will be easy---I’ll make sure both of those other women are compensated extremely well, I’ll make sure that he has to apologize to both of them---no, grovel at their feet and apologize!” You sit back on the couch, watching him rant and rave; it makes you feel better, actually, to not sit alone in this fury. “And you....I’m so sorry, babe, that you had to go through something like that.” His hands clench into fists. “I’m going to kill him for what he said to you, the way he treated you. I should’ve gone there with you, I would’ve knocked that smug smile off his face immediately.” He goes on, detailing all the ways he can bring the company down, the ways he’ll make them pay for what they’ve done. He goes on and on until the anger burns out. And by the end of it, your anger’s been doused, too. Now all you can feel is the heartache. My dream job...what I’ve worked so hard for.. The tears bubble up again, this time in devastation instead of fury. Noticing the change, he exhales heavily and returns to your side. Gathering you in his lap, he rocks you back and forth, pressing constant kisses to your temple and cheeks. “Oh my love,” he says heavily, “I’m so, so sorry.” “I wanted it, Joon,” you admit tearfully. “I wanted that job so bad. Why did it have to be like this?” “I know. It’s not fair.” He holds you close. “Oh, love, I wish I could have spared you from this. I wish I could fix it and make it all go away.” You turn your face towards him, burying it in his neck, and sob. The breakdown only lasts a few minutes, but the entire time he hugs you tight, reminding you that you weren’t alone. When you finally take a breath, he kisses your forehead. “It’s going to be okay. An even better job will come. I know everything sucks right now, but it’s going to get better. Something amazing is coming your way, love, I know it is.” He kisses your temple and murmurs against your hair, “You deserve something better than that place anyway. You’re going to do amazing things. Something better will come.” You take another deep breath and sit up, rubbing at your eyes. “I hope so,” you say thickly. “It will.” Managing a smile, you lean forward and kiss him briefly. “Thanks, Joonie,” you say softly, feeling much lighter. Your eyes dart to the discarded flowers and chocolates. “I feel bad I ruined the celebration...” He shakes his head, squeezing you tight. “You didn’t ruin anything.” A faint smile crosses his lips. “How about....instead of pizza and video games, we do.....pizza and a bubblebath??” You laugh. He smiles happily at the sound. “I’m serious. How does that sound, my love?” “Hmm...pizza in the bath?” You pretend to think. “Amazing.” “Perfect, right?” “Almost.” You get to your feet and hold a hand out to him, waiting. “But perfect actually is pizza and you in the bath.” He grins and takes your hand, getting to his feet quickly. “Like I said: whatever you want, baby.”

#Anonymous #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts clean imagines #non-smut #BTS #REQUESTS #apriori sea requests #apriori sea imagines #bts imagine namjoon #namjoon #RM #whatever you want #asks

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jenna-jayde-the-renagade · 3 years

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So my life has gone to shit.. I dont trust anybody anymore, and honest to god I cant help but keep thinking of ways to end it. My mom keeps telling me how to feel about this whole thing, that I should be grateful that i got in finally to see a specialist. Reality is I dont even trust those subhuman animals anymore, and frankly they're gonna have to earn my trust. After 4 fucking years, my life, my future being ruined. My mental health going downhill, all for the second time now. Add on to that, I dont get any meds for the pain so this has pushed me into addiction now for a second time. I've been dehumanized and humiliated, treated with nothing but the utmost disrespect while being stigmatized for being mentally ill, transgender and a recovering addict for most of it. They ignored me for 4 years, my body is damaged, and frankly help just might have came too little too late. I wont just suffer through the next one, the next time this happens I'm gonna end my life, my suffering on my own god damn terms. Atleast I still have control over that..

Fuck the canadian healthcare system. Some days I honestly just want to start selling drugs, and fly to a country where I can just pay to play and get the best care in the god damn world. Cause 4 years now I've been telling them to refer me to a specialist, I've been telling them that it's probably crohns or some other GI issue. They need to do a colonoscopy and a scope to find it, so that's what I would ask for. I would never get it, so i more or less gave up on the healthcare system. They would leave me on the floor thrashing in pain for hours. Treating me like a drug addict in withdrawal when I didnt even have any opioids in my system. I would be lucky if I got an IV for fluids, and even more lucky if they pumped me full of a bunch of over the counter drugs and others that didnt work like gravol, tauridol, buscopan, zofran, and haliperidol. I would tell them each time, that this was the hundredth time they tried gravol, and it doesnt help people when they're screaming in pain. They treat the nausea. Its bullshit because I am in so much pain that its making me nauseous and until they get rid of the pain, the vomiting is just gonna continue. They always treat me like I'm full of shit, and when I turn out to be right and continue puking, thrashing and screaming in pain, they just get angry at the fact they were wrong. Our doctors and nurses are a bunch of sociopathic, apathetic adult children who in my experience take pleasure in watching you suffer. The worse I get the more they smile. They are so stupid, blind almost because if their stupid fucking machine says I'm ok then I guess it's all in my head. They only think that theres nothing wrong with me because theyve only ever done a blood test or an xray. Never ever once have they done a single test that would have found the issue, crohns cant be found just on a blood test. The emergency room doctors think it can be, my family doctor and everybody else I've talked to says otherwise.

On January 1st I was having another flare up, and they shoved me in the psych observation room because they genuinely didnt want to deal with me. They ignore me, and I keep going in because I want help. I dont want to end up relapsing again cause I cant take the god damn pain! But nope, I get treated like a crazy person now.. they did it against my will. And they even tried to take my phone and my keys. I was puking constantly, I needed water to keep hydrated and they left me for 4 hours, locked in, no meds, no help or nothing. So I just cracked.. I had nothing to barf in, to wipe my nose with, or to wipe the cold sweat off me. So I puked in every corner of that room, I puked beside the bed especially because a mop wouldnt fit in there. I pissed in the corner, I would hack up some phlegm and spit it all over the floors and walls, I blew snot rockets on every surface too! After a while some nurse came in and gave me a barf bag. I threw it on the floor and just continued to puke over every hard surface in the place. I was puking every 5 seconds I swear, and the doctor finally came in at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At 3.5 hrs they give me two pills. I straight up tell them there is no point in even taking them. I couldnt even keep water down and these people are stupid enough to make me take pills? Come on. You need to hold it in for atleast an hour to see even the most minimal affects. I was puking every 5 seconds, to the point that I puked before I took the pills, and I puked them out the moment after I swallowed. They had given me a fucking gravol tab, and some Ativan, the latter of which I couldnt even hold under my tongue long enough. I barfed it onto the floor when it was half dissolved. They come back with this clear liquid shit in a shot glass. I swallowed it right after I puked. The liquid burned my insides, and i puked that shit out even quicker. I asked them to give me IV medications for that exact reason, I always ask for IV medications cause its literally a waste of your time and mine to just pump me full of pills when I can't keep them down and they hurt my tummy as they dissolve. They tell me to just "breathe deeply and relax" and to "just try jayden, you gotta try", so then I try, and when they end up being wrong, and I can't take shit. They end up saying that I'm manipulating, that I'm drug seeking or I'm not trying hard enough to make it work. Absolute bullshit, over the course of 4 years I have quite literally told them what to do. I have multiple family members with this disease, and my grandmother was ignored like this too. She told me to ask them for a colonoscopy and a scope, and to ask them to treat the pain, not the nausea cause the pain literally causes the nausea. The sooner the pain is gone the sooner I can be normal and tell them what's going on. Instead I'm left to suffer in the worst pain a human being can feel. I get treated like shit and told it's all in my head. I gave up on getting a diagnosis in year two. I just want to shoot dope whenever the pain comes. Dope atleast takes it away, after all they would be giving me some of the strongest shit they have at the hospital if I was some boomer with a sprained ankle. It would take the pain away. Thats for sure. Being a mentally ill, drug using, autistic tranny they just see that. I get nothing. No help, no answers, not even some relief when my screaming can be heard far and wide.

I want to die right now, and I keep trying to think of a painless way to do it.. buying $400 worth of street fentanyl and slipping into a nice, peaceful opioid coma seems like a wonderful idea right now.. that would end the fucking suffering atleast..

I wont be wearing a colostomy bag. Colostomy bags arent sexy, they are fucking disgusting and you cant just be body positive when you have a fucking bag full of your own shit hanging off you, and your only way of having penetrative sex sewed up permanently and taken away from me. Not like I could even be a decent fuck for anybody at this point anyways. Its painful to shit, let alone anything else. I dont want to give up food either. I love food, food is literally my life and the only way I have to bond with certain people! Like my family for example. Nothing makes me just want to slip.into that coma more then the worry of the future.

Will I be sitting at a family gathering eating bland gluten free, dairy free, all organic 100% vegan fair trade horse shit on a plate while my family actually gets to enjoy the food I used to be able to eat? Moms spaghetti, grandmas meat pies, the baked goods, fresh tomatoes out of my garden and others. A good fucking steak even? Cause honestly a birthday isnt a birthday if I dont have my birthday meal.

I know for a fact my body is damaged from 4 years of suffering. I used to bounce back, now it takes the wind out of my sails for a month.

Needless to say, I just want to fucking die more then anything else. Positivity and anything I love is gone, and all that I have left is knowing that Alberta health services, coast mountain health services, providence health services, and interior health services have all fucked me in the biggest way humanely possible. So thankful for free fucking healthcare!!

You get what you bloody well pay for!!

#thisiswhattranslookslike #girlslikeus #transgender #mtf #trans #transition #hrt #transgender girl #transformation #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronically sick #crohns disease

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stardustanthem · 4 years

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‘The Infamous Geralt of Rivia’ | Witcher x Female Reader

// A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST TIME DOING ANYTHING LIKE THIS BUT I’LL BE DAMNED IF I DONT TRY

Pairing: Geralt x Reader (more of an adventurous way, but who knows what could happen if I make more parts.)

Description: Traveling in the countryside you find Jaskier dragging you into trouble yet again, only to meet the one and only Geralt of Rivia, and his... child surprise?

Warnings: Noooooneeeee

—

The continent as far as the eye could see was all the same. Grass, trees, monster, more grass, more trees, and oh look- another monster. Typically your time spent in the continent was among the trees, main roads are a bother and a sure way to get yourself into trouble. Robbers and thieves aren’t worth the stamina, but a striga? An alghoul? You’d much rather take your chances with a monster worth a few coins.

“Good gods, Y/N, how much longer until we stop to rest? My feet are absolutely killing me,” Jaskier whines like a child up at you from his place on the ground. He doesn’t get to ride your horse, she doesn’t like men, and it’s unfortunate for you because Jaskier complains majority of the time you’re traveling.

You grunt, looking down at him from the side of your cloak hood. You hope your eyes are glaring, but with your cloak in the way it’s hard to tell, “Jaskier, you complain a lot for a fairy within kicking distance of my horses ass.” You pull the reins to stop your horse as a bluff causing Jaskier to begin blubbering in horror. You find yourself laughing softly before continuing on into the forest, Jaskier pouting beside you in an irritable funk.

The bard is funny, but you’d never admit this. He’s been your companion on the road since you bumped into him on the outskirts of Sodden. No surprise at all he was singing a ballad, something you’d heard murmured within the walls of the pubs across the continent. Toss a coin to your Witcher...

Yet when you found Jaskier he wasn’t sober.. and he certainly wasn’t happy when he was singing it. He was crying, an absolute mess of tears and snot over his lute next to a swamp, definitely home to a Kikimora. You took pity on the bard and invited him along with you to town for some ale.

Your mistake was thinking Jaskier was only going to accompany you as long as the pub, and now here you are weeks later. Though his complaining is annoying, and he can’t stop singing that damn song, he’s okay to have around. You’d been talking to your horse, Sera, for far too long. Even if Jaskier wasn’t going to be around forever, you at least had a companion for now.

At the top of a hill to the right of the trail you hear a horse huffing softly, followed by a few grunts. Suddenly you see the tops of the trees glow dimly from a fire source on the ground somewhere up there. Another person. You push Sera on, ignoring the protests of Jaskier behind you. You don’t trust random people in the woods, that’s the whole point of taking the backroads. You want to avoid people.

You can hear Jaskier scrambling up the hill toward the fire, muttering nonsense about ‘knowing that horse anywhere’, when suddenly you can hear him releasing a sigh of relief as he reaches the top of the hill. You stop Sera, turning your gaze toward the top of the hill. You see the bard standing with his back to you, the fire making his figure look like a shadow before he steps out of your vision entirely. Does he know the owner of the fire? Damn it, Jaskier.

You grunt to yourself, turning Sera to a shitty path taking you up to the top of the hill. You could tell that even she was tired, but you’d never been scared of pushing her a little further before. Somehow though, you feel this encounter will make for an interesting evening. You reach beneath your cloak to your belt holding both of your daggers. Your sword was strapped to your back, but that would be too obvious a move if you needed to act.

You never expected to see Jaskier doing actual labor, and despite yourself seeing him carry wood towards the fire made you gasp in surprise. Two heads turned towards you at the sound, one pair of eyes already on you. Gold.

“Ah, Y/N, I was wondering if you would swallow your pride and-” Jaskier started as you climbed off of Sera. You cut him off with a glare, shoving your hood off of your head. He sighed and sat down next to the white haired man.

“Thank you for the invitation, Jaskier.” You grumbled, before turning towards the man next to him, “I’m Y/N, a wanderer of the continent. Forgive my intrusion, but that’s my bard.” You pointed a gloved hand at Jaskier and shot him a look. He returned your gaze apologetically.

You released Sera’s reins and place the sword on your back in a sheath attached to her saddle, knowing well she wouldn’t wander without you, before finding your own seat across the fire from a young girl, a white haired man, and Jaskier. It was silent until you heard the golden eyed man release a grunt, “Actually, that bard is mine.” You felt yourself stiffen, instinctively reaching for the dagger beneath your cloak.

Jaskier, despite himself, released a child-like giggle, “Oh please, don’t fight over me.” You and the man both turned on Jaskier releasing a grunt of disapproval before turning back towards each other. You had your hand gripped so tightly on your dagger it was hurting. You could feel the burn of his gaze as his jaw clenched tighter, “Geralt... Y/N...”

You felt yourself relax slightly watching Geralt settle back into his position by the fire. The young girl next to him stared at you, smiling slightly when your eyes met hers. You turned back to Geralt, “Might I join you for the evening? I won’t be leaving without Jaskier.” The girl next to Geralt scoffs softly, before glancing at Geralt, “Is this girl your... daughter? Might she have a name?”

To this Geralt grabs his sword and drapes it across his lap, “The girl is no concern of yours. You touch her and I’ll kill you.” You feel yourself growing tired of the tension. You don’t know these people, but Jaskier does and despite his awful coping mechanisms and taste in women, you do trust that he would never put you in danger. Jaskier has been staring at you too, he gives you a pleading look, and just for your friend you comply.

You rise to your feet, noticing how quickly Geralt stands with his sword in hand, before you drop your cloak from your body. You release your daggers from their belt and set them on the ground before you, “I also have a sword on my horse, Sera. You may hold onto it if you wish. I wish you and the girl no harm, as I stated I will not be leaving without Jaskier, my bard.” You drop back down onto the log across from Geralt, watching as he sheaths his weapon and sits back down.

“Your bard used to be my bard,” Geralt grumbled before taking the roasted animal off of the stick over the fire. He offered some to the girl, some to Jaskier and some for himself. He didn’t shoot you a glance as he put the stick back on the fire, “Jaskier tells me that you kill monsters as well.” You furrow your brows at this.

“As well?” You pry, glancing at Jaskier. Does the man with the lute only keep monster hunters as friends? How strange.

Geralt chuckles, “I’m a Witcher, Y/N the wanderer. Geralt of Rivia, and though I am cautious of you, Jaskier wouldnt bring a companion to my fire and start a fight.” He lifted the stick off the fire and stood, making his way over to you with the leftovers. He stands over you, his golden eyes staring into yours as he offers you the last of their food.

You take the stick and lean past Geralt looking towards the girl, “If you are still hungry you may have what’s left. I ate earlier today, I won’t eat this if you’re hungry.” The young girl smiles as she licks her fingers before coming to sit next to you. Her small, dirty hands grab the food from you. You watch intently as she dissects the cooked meat in half, giving you some and keeping the rest for herself.

Geralt is staring down at the two of you watch the tender moment just as the young girl speaks, “I’m Ciri, Geralt’s Child surprise.” She giggles softly to herself, looking up at the Witcher. He releases a soft grunt before sitting down next to Jaskier. They fall into a soft conversation, watching the two of you from time to time.

The evening winds down into a soft montage of laughter and warmth between Ciri and yourself. You had never experienced something like this. You had never allowed yourself to open up to people before, only Jaskier. People usually accused you of being a Witcher, which makes no sense as women can’t survive the mutations it takes, but you were trained from a young age on how to care for yourself. Sword and all. Your mother was a healer, and your father a former military general, were quite the odd pair. They died of old age, gods rest their souls.

“Y/N, are you going to camp with us the rest of the evening?” Ciri pulled you from your thoughts, looking at you expectantly. You glance over at Geralt and Jaskier, their conversation coming to a complete stop.

You stare at the young girl and release a soft sigh before giving her a smile, “I’m sure Jaskier wouldn’t mind the rest, as long as Geralt says it’s okay.” You turn your body towards Geralt meeting his golden gaze with a smile, “What do you say, Witcher? Can you spare some room for the two of us around your fire?”

Geralt moves his eyes from yours to Ciri’s, before coming back to you and giving you a curt nod, “For the evening. We have a long journey ahead of us and can’t drag along two more travelers,” Geralt turns to Jaskier and pats his shoulder, “Sorry, Jaskier.” Jaskier smiled slightly, nodding at Geralt before rising to his feet and grabbing our travel blankets from Sera’s saddle. Somehow she had managed to moved closer to the other horse tied off on a tree.

“Is that your horse, Geralt? Seems Sera is fond of the company.” You laugh softly earning a grunt from Geralt. You rise to your feet to help Ciri set up a comfortable bed. She settled over the blanket, and you offered your cloak as a blanket, not feeling yourself grow tired yet. Jaskier handed you your blanket and set his up on the opposite side of Ciri. You heard his soft goodnight as he settled into sleep with his lute.

It was just you and the Witcher now, his golden eyes shining brighter as they stared into the dwindling fire. You cleared your throat softly gaining his attention, “Thank you for allowing me to spend time with you and Ciri this evening, I know Jaskier appreciates it too.”

He raises his eyebrows thoughtfully, turning his gaze back to the fire, “When Ciri and I have finished our quest I would like for us to cross paths again. Jaskier and I left off on a bad note, and as much as I hate him, I do owe him another adventure to make up for how I left things.” He shifted, his elbows sitting on his knees. You feel a twinge of courage rise in your gut, giving your tired legs elevation. You slowly rose to your feet and moved to sit next to Geralt. A stranger turned aquaintance.

“I wouldn’t mind if our paths also crossed again, Geralt. I’m sorry for coming on so mistrusting. Forgive me. Most people we encounter on the trails aren’t exactly polite,” you turn your gaze away from Geralt and back to the fire, running a hand through your tangled hair. You feel his hand on your arm, rough and calloused. Heat rising in your cheeks, you meet his gaze.

“Ciri seems to like you, that’s reason enough for me to forgive your hesitation. It’s the way of our people,” He speaks roughly, exhaustion in his voice. Our people. He considers you a Witcher? You’re beyond flattered, but almost feel a pang of guilt for letting yourself bask in the glory of such a title. You’re not a Witcher, and though this life wasn’t chosen, you don’t hold the same abilities as a Witcher.

“I’m sorry, Geralt, but I’m not-”

“I know you aren’t a Witcher, women can’t survive the mutations. Yet I know you were raised as I was. Maybe without the magic, and the mutagens, but we have the same way of life and I respect it nonetheless.”

Geralt rises to his feet and stretches his arms over his head before walking around Jaskier and the fire over to Ciri. He brushes her hair out of her face and pulls your cloak up higher over her head before laying down next to her. He lays on his side, staring at you. You keep his gaze, absolutely captivated by the being Jaskier had accidentally led you to meet. Destiny.

“Goodnight, Geralt,” You mutter softly as you see his eyes close.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

———

#geralt of rivia #geralt x y/n #geralt x reader #geralt fanfic #geralt x you #geralt x ciri #geralt x jaskier #witcher fanfiction

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fuckedurbias · 5 years

Text

enemies to lovers (but not really) - yoo kihyun

genre: angst + smutty af

requested? nope

word count: 7.7k !!!

warnings: cursing, alcohol mentions, the smut is dirty af i can’t put it all in a warning oop

A/N: i made kihyun basically a bully and a giant asshole but ik he’s a soft baby and a lovely boy but i just have a lot of pent up feelings towards him, i can’t admit my feelings for him so i just use hatred as an excuse okay its a personal problem. pls dont hate me!!

You couldn’t get rid of him no matter how hard you tried. It was hard enough that he was involved in your close friend group and you had to see his face often, but he also genuinely enjoyed seeing you get so heated over the mere sight of him.

“For once, for once can he be working when we hang out or I don’t know… maybe just not be invited?” You groan, angrily looking out the window of Changkyun’s car with your arms firmly crossed.

“Look we can’t just not invite him, he’s still our friend. It’s not our fault neither of you can stand each other, you’re lucky either of you get invited to these things do you really think any of us want to deal with the never ending bickering from you two?” Changkyun shook his head, dreading the thought of all the arguing he’s going to have to deal with tonight.

“He starts it! You really expect me to just take his little digs at me?” You huff.

“He only does it because he knows for sure you will fight back; I’ve told you this how many times? Hell, he’s told you that himself yet you still give him the reaction he wants, if you just ignored him he’d stop” “I really doubt that” You mumble, staring at the road ahead. Changkyun never beats around the bush with you, but that is why he was your best friend, both as feisty and fiery as each other. It is probably a bad dynamic since you both just feed off each others intense vibes and don’t hold back with others who aren’t either of you, who often can’t handle such honesty and bluntness. Most times you love Kyun being honest with you, but times like this; when talking about the person who makes your blood boil more than anyone else, you really hated it. Maybe tonight you will take Kyun’s advice and ignore Kihyun, just to prove him wrong when Kihyun continues to terrorise you and he can finally get all the blame he deserves.

As soon as you got out of the car you could see your group of boys through the big window at the front of the restaurant, sitting on the table right next to the window as per usual. Thank god they were all talking and too preoccupied in looking at the menus arguing over what they were going to order to notice you and Kyun walking in. There is seriously only 1 whole brain cell in this goddamn group and it belongs to you. Without you they wouldn’t get anywhere. You hide behind Kyun as you enter, both so Kihyun won’t see you and pester you before you even get to the table and so you can see where he is sitting before you reach the table and plan how you will avoid him as much as you can. You and Kyun reach the table and stand there silent for at least 30 seconds before any of them notice you, they were really going at it between themselves. Sitting on the wall side was Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon & Hyungwon. Facing the rest of the restaurant and their backs to you and Kyun right now was Shownu and Wonho, sitting on the side closest to the window with the two free seats for you and Kyun next to them at the end of the table. Finally, Hyungwon turns around from watching the other three boys argue next to him to see you and Kyun standing there, staring at them with the biggest look of disapproval on your faces. He smiles and nods, nobody else noticing you. Minhyuk, Kihyun & Jooheon were all arguing over what food they wanted to get and Shownu was asking them, practically begging them all to just settle on either one meal or one meat option each for the barbecue otherwise it would end up being too much money and not all of it would be eaten anyways. Wonho was just disassociating on his phone. Kyun clears his throat, still no response, so he just sighs and pulls out the seat next to Shownu, leaving you to sit on the end of the table across from Hyungwon. He knew you would appreciate that, wanting to be as far away from Kihyun as possible, but two people down from you on the other side was still too close. The other 3 boys on the other side all look up when they hear the chairs being pulled out, nod at you both and go back to their food issues.

“Look, you three need to shut up for a moment and we need to ask these two what they would like now. So you three need to settle your issues ASAP otherwise this will just end up like last time” Shownu demands, tone very clearly desperate. “I’m okay with anything, I just want food” you say, which earns a smirk and a loud nose exhale from Kihyun, whatever that was meant to mean you had no idea and you didn’t really care to know. You didn’t even look his way, focusing on the menu Shownu handed to Kyun.

“Same for me, as long as you get some kind of beef for the barbecue I don’t care. Also as long as you three stop arguing so I can eat quicker” Kyun says, handing the menu back to Shownu. The other three pout and huff, settling on a meal and a barbecue option amongst each other. You’re rather shocked Kihyun hasn’t made a single dig at you yet, this is a new record for him, but you put it down to him being more concerned about his empty stomach for the time being. Hopefully when the food arrives he’s too busy scoffing food down his throat to be bothering you.

As per usual, Wonho ended up being the barbecue dad as he put the first load of meat onto the barbecue the sound of the satisfying sizzle filling your ears and everyone was happily digging into the dishes. The last dish arrives and you gasp in excitement and try to quickly finish your current food so you can grab some of the new one before all the boys finish it first with their bottomless stomachs. “Woah, relax and stop acting like a pig. The food won’t go anywhere” Kihyun laughs, widening his eyes at you in a mocking way.

“Kihyun what the fuck? Mind your own business and back off, dude” Kyun snaps.

‘Ah, here we go’ you think to yourself. You feel that pang in your stomach, wanting so badly to snap back at him instantly but you remember the car ride and decide to stay quiet. For some reason what he said this time actually hurts you. Why? You’re not sure, you hate it, you feel weak. You feel like running to the bathroom to hide the hurt that you’re pretty sure is showing clearly on your face, especially since you usually snap back instantly. You ignore Kihyun, don’t even glance at him and just continue to grab yourself a nice amount of the new dish and place it into your little bowl, trying your best to eat it without looking too upset. A few seconds later, Wonho finishes cooking the beef and takes everyone’s bowls and gives them a fair amount of it before putting the next load of meat on.

“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks you quietly, leaning across the table. “Yeah I’m fine, just really tired from all my classes today” You give him a soft smile and a nod, appreciative that he actually checked up you even though you hate that it’s clear you are upset.

“Ah okay, I was worried that you we- “

“How has everyone’s week been?” Minhyuk yells from his end of the table, largely exaggerating the loudness of the restaurant chatter and music.

“We’re all University students, how interesting could any of our weeks have been?” Jooheon replies, beef stuffed in his mouth. “Well I’m sorry I’m just trying to make fucking conversation since none of you have made an attempt to” Minhyuk snaps, gesturing his hands out to everyone around the table and then clasping them together.

“Jooheon are you trying to imply that you actually go to class and spend your time outside of class actually studying?” Wonho says, not even glancing up as he turns over all the meat. Everyone on the table cracks up laughing.

“Hey! I was not implying anything, even if when I don’t go to classes; which I do most of the time by the way, I just stay home which still isn’t interesting… and I do study!” Jooheon leans back against the wall, arms firmly crossed with a grumpy pout on his face.

“It’s okay Joo, I think staying home and watching Netflix… or studying and going to class like you apparently do, is a lot more interesting and entertaining than being one of those students that goes out all the time and constantly gets drunk, high and is basically brain-dead 24/7” You say, stuffing the meat in your mouth into your cheeks.

“You can’t really say that when you’ve never been to even ONE party since you’ve started at University, you wouldn’t have any idea of how it’s ‘not fun’ or what fun even is. You just go to class every day and study and then stay cooped up in your dorm every weekend like a complete loser,” Kihyun doesn’t even breathe once, “oh and please, don’t talk with your mouth full”. Minhyuk whacks the back of Kihyun’s head, looking at you with sorrow. You felt your blood pressure rising, wishing so badly you could split his chopsticks in half and shove them up his ass. However, you just sat there looking down at your now empty bowl trying to hide how red your face now was and your throat closing up, feeling like you were going to cry out of frustration. If he made one more mean comment you were certain you were going to snap, and by that you mean snapping those chopsticks in half and sticking them where the sun doesn’t shine; which is absolutely nowhere near Kihyun.

You guys had finished all the food and were now having a nice catch up, telling each other the funny happenings that had occurred within the last month and a bit that you hadn’t met up properly as a whole group. The conversation though, had drifted to Changkyun, Wonho & Minhyuk ganging up on Jooheon and telling you all stories about the embarrassing things Joo did in high school.

“I cannot believe you did that!! When you were Vice Captain?! In front of the entire school board?!” You screamed.

“Don’t forget that it was a whole school assembly, too! He really just whipped out a little impromptu ‘hip hop dance routine’ in front of the whole school and the school board, you should’ve seen the look of pure horror on the Vice Principal’s face. He got in so much trouble for that and almost got his position taken away” Minhyuk said with a shit-eating grin.

“You’re the one that promised me if I did that you’d pay for my lunch everyday for the rest of the semester, it’s your fault!” Joo whines.

“And I did didn’t I? So why are you complaining?” Minhyuk sasses. “BECAUSE YOU’RE SITTING HERE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING THING I DID BUT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME DO IT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I DID IT OUT OF MY OWN ACCORD!”

“Because it’s a funny story, and I didn’t force you to, you had the choice to say no”

“NO YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE STOP LY- “

“Okay enough you two children” Shownu interjects. If he didn’t stop them now this would continue for way too long, they’re worse than you and Kihyun.

“Oh my gosh wait, Wonho! What about that time you told Minhyuk you’d give him $50 if he licked the swing-set” Changkyun gasps with the sudden memory.

“Wow, yes! The chain handle part”, Wonho laughs “and he actually did it and ended up in the nurse’s office because he instantly got really sick and had to stay home for the rest of week!”. Everyone bursts into laughter.

“Hey I don’t regret a thing, that $50 was worth it. I bought some sick gym shoes with that money” Minhyuk smiles. You were in tears with laughter.

“Man I wish I knew you guys in high school, you seem like you were even funnier and dumber back then” You cry.

“Hey, me and Kyun weren’t and aren’t dumb it was and is just those two” Wonho acts offended. You really do wish you knew them back then; it would’ve definitely made your dull high school life a lot brighter. You’re grateful you know them now of course, they make your stressful, overwhelming University life a lot more bearable. You and Kyun were both Literature students, Minhyuk, Hyungwon & Shownu all Dance & Performance students and then Joo & Wonho were Music Production students, where they met Kihyun as he is a Music Performance student and they work together a lot. The boys that already knew each other from school brought along their friends that they met in class who didn’t have friends to hang out with yet, and then you all became a close nit group and all friends with each other separately… well, except for two of you.

“I don’t know Wonho, I’d say you’re also pretty dumb” You say slowly with a sneaky grin, “are we not going to address that very dumb, embarrassing thing you accidentally did in class no less than what, two weeks ago?”. He looks at you confused.

“Remember, Jooheon messaged the group chat instantly screaming out of secondhand embarrassment?” You push.

“Oh- OH GOD yeah we aren’t going to address it remember I asked specifically for nobody to ever talk about it again that’s why we haven’t spoke about it and won’t” Wonho blushes, “it was very traumatic for me and I removed it from my brain and now you’ve reminded me and now I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight”.

“But you admit that you are pretty dumb, right? At least sometimes” You laugh.

“Are you serious? You’re straight making fun of him for something that he seems genuinely humiliated by and didn’t ever want to talk about again. That’s so rude why would you joke about something like that?” Kihyun snaps at you before Wonho can reply. You feel that pang in your stomach again, genuinely taken aback.

“Dude chill, I know she was just playing around. I was also joking, it’s not that deep” Wonho replies, glaring at Kihyun. You slam your hands on the table and stand up, staring at him like you’re about to stab him with the barbecue scissors. The rest of the boys stare at you in shock, expecting you to rip into him. Instead of doing that like you wanted to, you just turn around and walk out the door of the restaurant, quickly wiping away the tears that are falling out of your eyes.

You sat on the bench outside the restaurant, far away from the window where the boys sat so they couldn’t see you. Your elbows are propped up on your thighs, with with your face resting in your palms and you’re staring at the ground. Your tears are dried by this point but you know if you think too hard they will fall again; which your brain keeps trying to do but you refuse to let it, you will just think of nothing. Your phone keeps vibrating and you know its probably one of the boys - most likely Kyun, trying to text or call you but you really don’t want to talk to any of them right now. You’ll just get the bus or train home later. Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your back as you see them sit down next to you. It was Changkyun.

“Hey” He says quietly. You don’t reply.

“Just so you know, before you even got out the door we all let Kihyun have it. For real, none of us are okay with what he was doing tonight it was ridiculous and not okay at all” Kyun grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You reciprocate.

“He was a straight bully tonight; it wasn’t even just the typical little petty digs they were actually mean, especially since you weren’t fighting back. I’m sorry for saying that he only does it because you react, you should’ve defended yourself” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I- I tried to but, for some reason I just didn’t… I couldn’t. I wanted to tear him to shreds but my body just wouldn’t follow through” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes again.

“It’s okay, just know that none of us boys are okay with what he did tonight and I mean you saw us defending you when you were there. We’ve made sure he knows that he won’t ever be allowed to come out with us again if he’s going to pull that again” Kyun looks into your eyes, making sure you know that he’s serious. You smile up at him, feeling so cared for and loved as a tear falls from your eye. It was a happy tear. Kyun wipes it off your cheek with his free hand.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Kyun stands up in front of you and helps you up.

“Thank you, Kyun”, You say, looking up at him for a few seconds before wrapping your arms around his torso “I know we joke around a lot and fight, and I know you find affection gross but, I really do love you a lot and I’m so grateful for you” you silently cry into his chest. Thank god he’s wearing black.

“It’s okay, I love you too. Also I don’t find it gross, alright, just too much of it but at times like this it’s nice” He says. You giggle as he softly pokes your cheek, keeping his hand locked with yours as he walks you to his car.

Changkyun had actually convinced you to come to a party, you don’t know why he wanted you to go, but he did. All the boys were going to be there why did he need you there? He said it was just to get you out of the house so you can clear your mind and forget about your worries for a bit, but you weren’t convinced that was the only reason why, but it was all he would tell you when you would press for an answer. It’s not that you didn’t like parties - you did, it was more the people that were going to be there, doing drugs and all the guys that will try and get in your pants just for the sake of it rather than actually being interested in you in any way. Anyways, you decided to go for the reason he said, just to get yourself out of the house and you hadn’t had a good party in a while and a reason to get all dressed up (totally nothing to do with the reason that you knew Kihyun would be there and you wanted to prove to him that you can have a fun time). You planned your outfit in your head for days in advance, and you were so happy when it actually looked great on you and by some miracle your makeup cooperated with you and came out beautifully, too. You look hot, you’d 100% fuck yourself if you were someone else. You actually feel good about yourself and excited for this party, it really is a miracle. You weren’t going to let anything… or anyone ruin your night. You’re spritzing yourself with perfume when you here the beep of a car outside, you immediately know it’s Changkyun. You grab your bag and do one last look over of yourself in the mirror; taking a quick selfie or two, or three, and then quickly running out of the door while Changkyun beeps at you to hurry up. You run outside and while you’re trying to lock your door properly Jooheon starts beeping the car horn repeatedly, you flip him off as you watch him start laughing his ass off in the front seat. Once you lock your door you quickly walk to the back door, hearing Jooheon still laughing before you even open the door. Shownu gets out of the car so you can sit in the middle.

“You’re such a child! it really isn’t that funny” You frown, climbing into the middle seat. Jooheon lets out a ‘hoo’ as he wipes a tear away. “I think it was hilarious” Jooheon breathes, relaxing back into the passenger seat.

“She’s right, it really wasn’t” Shownu agrees as he gets back in the seat next to you and shuts the door. Wonho and Changkyun both agree with you and Shownu. “Fuck you guys” Jooheon pouts. Changkyun turns up the radio and reverses out of your driveway. You were really excited for this party.

The music was blasting; you could feel every part of your body vibrate with the bass. It had been about 2 hours since you arrived and you were pretty tipsy, borderline drunk. You had lost sight of any of your friends, the boys, classmates or friends you made literally 5 minutes ago at this party. You’re lost in the music and the tingly, happy feeling that was overtaking your body, you’re dancing the night away, along with any worry you had about anything in your life prior to coming to this party. At least you were, until you feel someone tap you on your shoulder; which you ignored because you thought you were imagining it, and if it was real you wanted them to leave you alone because you were having fun. Unfortunately, it is real and they keep persisting so you turn around angrily. You immediately scrunch your face up in disgust. It’s Kihyun.

“I need to talk to you” He slurs, grabbing onto your shoulder for support as he almost trips onto you.

“No you don’t! Fuck off” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, immediately smack his hand off you. You storm off, Kihyun following behind you.

“Please! It’s important, please just let me do it I can’t wait until next month when I next see you to talk to you, please” He begs, yelling in your ear over the music. “Then don’t. Simple” You snap back. You walk fast, pushing through the crowd of people struggling to make it through them without tripping over, the effects of your last drink starting to push you past tipsy. You’re looking for even one of the boys or just anyone to help get Kihyun away from you, which is really hard in this state and with Kihyun hot on your trail trying to plead with you. You see Minhyuk watching a game of beer pong; cheering and being even more loud than usual. You quickly run up to him and pull on his sleeve.

“Minhyuk please help me”, you look at him with big puppy eyes “Kihyun keeps saying he needs to talk to me, he won’t leave me alone and is practically harassing me, please help”.

He looks down at you, then behind you to Kihyun, then back to you.

“Oh yeah, we all told him he should talk to you”, your face changes to one of utter confusion “you should listen to him, he wants to apologise because he genuinely feels horrible. You don’t have to accept it but I think just listening to him would be good for the both of you”. You look offended, how could the boys just do that to you? After Kihyun did that to you and made you feel like complete and utter shit? Why would you ever want to listen to him or talk to him again?

“You know that I’m always honest with you, I understand why you don’t want to talk to him or listen to him – I wouldn’t want to either if I were you, but I really think it would be good for both of you to talk out your differences and it would be better for all of us, too. As someone who loves drama, I really want the both of you to just talk shit out and at least be civil. You don’t have to forgive him but just listen to what he has to say, please” Minhyuk slurs, looking you dead in the eyes. The fact he was being so wise in this intoxicated was really saying something. You sighed, he was right. Even if you just ended up hating him more, maybe he was actually genuinely sorry and would stop being an asshole from now on. You may not forgive him, not for a while, but at least you could possibly work towards being… friends?? You turn to Kihyun, seeing him looking pretty pathetic looking at you with such pleading eyes. You take his hand and guide him through the crowd in attempt to find any kind of empty room further away from the pounding music. You doubted you would have any luck though.

Even a wardrobe would suffice but you were really struggling to find an empty room of some sort. If there wasn’t already someone passed out on the bed, throwing up in the bathroom there was a couple (or more) getting up to frisky business – and obviously you couldn’t ignore any of those situations to talk to Kihyun without disturbing what was going on in the room… or disturbing yourself with the latter. You go upstairs and most of the rooms are again, taken, but you finally come across one at the end of the hall that isn’t. You half sigh, half yell a ‘finally’ and drag him in the room, locking the door behind you. You’re so relieved to be able to finally let go of Kihyun’s hand, turning to stand in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Well?” You gesture for him to start; he just looks at you with a very vacant expression on his face and you sigh in annoyance.

“Are you going to tell me what you begged me to listen to you for? This is your only chance and I suggest you don’t waste it” You tap your foot, already getting impatient. He perks up like a little puppy, suddenly remembering what he was here for.

“Oh, right. I-uh, just wanted to apologise for the other night. I was a real asshole and there’s no excuse for the things I said and did, it wasn’t even banter or petty things like it usually is it was straight bullying and I feel horrible when I remember it. I don’t even know why I kept going after you didn’t react or respond the first time, but it doesn’t matter; point is, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry” Kihyun rambles, slurring and struggling to find the right words.

“Okay. Are you happy now? That I listened to… that? Will you stop harassing me? Can I leave now?” You say barely even acknowledging his apology, you really did find it pathetic and couldn’t bare to be alone in a room with him any longer. You started to walk towards the door but Kihyun stopped you.

“Are you kidding me?” He questions angrily, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. You frown and smack his hand off you.

“What?” You snap.

“That’s it? You can’t even acknowledge anything I said?” He says, seeming actually hurt. “Well I for sure am not forgiving you, what else do you want me to do, Kihyun? Because I really can’t even stand being alone in this room with you right now” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.

“You don’t have to forgive me; I just want to know you actually listened to me” He says surprisingly calm. He looks like a kicked puppy and you feel so fucking strange seeing Kihyun look anything but cocky and angry for once in his life.

“You’re being ridiculous, Kihyun. Of course I listened to you why would I bring you all this way, struggle to find a room for us to use for 5 seconds to not listen to you at all? Especially if seeing you so desperate to apologise to me brings me such joy?” You say it as if you were explaining it to a child, dragging out that last sentence especially longer. You see Kihyun’s expression changing to the usual one of anger, god you’re getting so much enjoyment of having the higher ground right now.

“Not to mention”, you walk closer to his face “that ‘apology’ was nothing short of just, plain pathetic”. Using your finger to put the quotations around ‘apology’, you have the biggest smirk on your face. Kihyun runs his tongue over his cheeks as he steps closer to you, inches from your face. You don’t cower one bit, in fact you look him dead in the eyes as you chuckle.

“Pathetic?” He questions, looking down at you.

“Hopeless, pitiful, miserable, plain fucking shit or whatever you wish to call it, really” You reply, not even trying to hide your enjoyment. You barely finished your sentence before Kihyun turns you around and slams you into the wall, arms either side of your head. He did it so quickly you’re actually shocked, especially since he’s drunk and his reaction times are meant to be slower.

“You’re really, really fucking pushing it” He whispers, spacing out his words to make sure you’re perfectly understanding how angry you’re making him. “And? As if you’re going to do anything about it” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest. You refuse to show any sign of intimidation, though you actually are quite shocked right now. His gaze doesn’t move from your face, he’s breathing heavily and you hate this tension surrounding you both right now, its silent apart from the screaming of everyone outside and the muffle of the music downstairs. You see Kihyun’s gaze fall to your lips for a second, so brief that you wondered if it was even real or if you were making it up.

“See, I knew it. You’re not going to do anything because you’re just as pathetic as that apology wa-” Before you can even finish your sentence Kihyun slams his lips into yours. Your eyes are wide, part of you wants to push him away but an even bigger part of you refuses to back down. You slide on your hands to his hair, entangling your fingers in it and pulling harshly, he moans in response. He deepens the kiss, a hand on your neck and a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him. You slide your tongue against his lip and he responds by sliding his tongue in your mouth, refusing to let you take even the tiniest bit of dominance. You bite and pull on his lip as you pull away, breathless. You lean your head back on the wall as he starts leaving kisses along your jaw, moving down to your neck. Your hand is still pulling on his hair and your other one is latched onto his shoulder. His hands move down to your ass, squeezing it.

“You better not leave hickeys, we’re not high schoolers” You whisper. He lets out a scoff as he moves his hands down to your thighs, signalling for you to wrap your legs around him. You do so, kissing down his neck to his collarbones as he moves you to the bed. He throws you onto the sheets, you open your legs as he slides his body in between them. You start making out, even more heated than before, your lips and tongues moving in sync. Kihyun moves his hand up to your hair, pulling on it as you whine and press your hips up into his, he grinds down against you in response. You slide your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his chest and he groans as he continues grinding into you harshly. His hand that is on your hip slides down your thigh, moving it up and around his back as he pulls away from the kiss, breathless and he sits up to slide his shirt off. For fucks sake, why does he have to be so attractive yet so annoying.

“Are you going to actually do anything or just continue to play around?” You pant, staring up at him. Before he can answer or do anything in response you flip the both of you over so you’re now straddling him. You roll your hips over his crotch a few times, feeling his bulge very prominently through your panties under your skirt. He tries to flip you back over but you put your hands on his shoulders and give him a look that makes him fall back and give up. You slide your shirt off, revealing your cute, lacy bra that you always wore to these kind of occasions in case you did get some action and would look at that? This time you actually did. You give Kihyun a passionate kiss on the lips and pull away quickly to start kissing down his jaw agonisingly slow, he accidentally lets a little whimper slip as his eyes flutter shut which makes you giggle softly, he’s actually cute when he’s needy. You then move to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach all the way down past his belly button and stop at the hem of his jeans. He snaps his eyes open as he looks down at you with dark eyes and you just bite your lip and give a bratty smile in response. You don’t break eye contact as you undo his belt, pulling it out and throwing it on the ground to then unzip his jeans and yank them off. You walk your fingers up his thigh, stopping just before you reach his bulge.

“Stop teasing or I swear to go-” He growls, you started palming him through his boxers before he even finished his sentence and he ended it in the cutest whine you’ve ever heard. You smile as his hips snap up instinctively at even the tiniest bit of friction as you slowly palm him, curling your fingers to fit around his shaft. He has one hand gripping the sheets and another around the headboard, he’s trying to keep his hips still but is really struggling to not roll against your hand. You decide he’s had enough teasing for now and stop palming him to pull down the waistband of his boxers, pulling them all the way off. His dick snaps up as soon as the boxers are off it, hitting his stomach and he grunts at the sudden contact of air against his throbbing cock. Once his boxers are discarded, you wrap your hand around the bottom of his shaft and start to pump him, flicking your wrist as your hand moves up and down. Kihyun immediately snaps his hips up, breathing out a ‘fuck’ as he watches you through half close eyelids. You hate to admit it but, he looks so pretty right now. Precum is already starting to leak out of his tip, so you bring your mouth to it and slowly lick it off with the tip of your tongue. Kihyun throws his head back with a choked moan as you slowly circle your tongue around his tip, you place your lips around and suck harshly, never stopping the movement of your hand. His hand gripping the sheet starts feeling around for your head, gripping onto your hair and trying to push you down so you’d take him in your mouth.

“Keep being pushy and I will stop everything and walk out of this room” You snap. He immediately loosens his grip on your hair and you go back to sucking on his tip again, flattening your tongue as you slowly take him in your mouth. Kihyun grunts and bites his lip hard, trying to stop any kind of moan from slipping out. He looks down at you as you’re bobbing your head up and down, bringing your hand up to meet your lips as you pump him at the same time.

“You know, if you weren’t so annoying I’d say you look so hot right now” He says, struggling to speak without it coming out in a moan. You roll your eyes, he was very dumb to say that because you are literally sucking his dick and could bite it off at any moment… but he also implied that you look hot, which sent tingles right down to your clit. You removed your hands and moved your mouth all the way down to the bottom of his shaft, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens again and he guides your head up and down, your grip hard on his thighs as you try not to gag. You’ve hollowed out your cheeks and flattened out your tongue as you suck along with your head movements.

“I’m so close” Kihyun breathes, the muscles in his lower stomach visibly tightening. You remove his hand from your hair so that you can fasten your pace, bringing your hand back in to pump him again. He throws his back, cursing repeatedly and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. Right as he reaches the peak of his high you take him out of your mouth and remove your hand, sitting up on his leg to watch and relish in his agony. His head snaps up as his face darkens immediately.

“Oh baby, you are going to regret that” Kihyun coos, the way ‘baby’ rolls off his tongue unsettles you and causes a very hot feeling in your core.

“Don’t call me baby” You command, returning his dark gaze. He sits up and pushes you down on the bed, your head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches his hand down under your skirt, pressing his index finger hard along your slit; applying the most pressure where your clit is. You bite your lip, whining a little.

“Wow you’re already so wet and I’ve done absolutely nothing” He says cockily. “If you’re really going to be this cocky already you better be bloody good” You snap, rolling your hips against his finger. He chuckles and nods, fair argument. He starts to rub your clit through your panties, making you gasp at the sudden movement. He uses his other hand to unclasp your bra and slide it off your arms, he throws it to the side and immediately starts to kiss and suck on your tits. You run your hands through his hair as he assaults your chest and clit at the same time. He moves your panties to the side and slides his index and middle finger into your hole, moving his thumb to your clit. You let a loud moan slip, his fingers curling right up to your sweet spot. After he’s pleased with the pretty bruises he’s left all over your tits he slides his lips down your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt. You lift your head up to watch him, he smirks up at you as he slides his other hand under your skirt to the hem of your panties, pulling them down your thighs slowly. Knowing what was about to come gave you such a restless rush in your core. You kicked your legs, ushering him to hurry up and he smiles at your desperateness, he pulls them off one leg and holds your other leg up and slides them off. Once discarded, he bends your leg over his shoulder and he lays back down on his stomach, lining his head in between your legs. He starts to kiss up your thigh, stopping for a split second as he reaches your heat before lifting your skirt over his head. He then uses his fingers to part your lips as he licks a stripe up your slit. You arch your back, both hands moving to his hair immediately. He doesn’t waste a second before he starts kissing and sucking on your clit and his fingers return to pumping themselves in and out of your entrance. All the pleasure from when he was only fingering you before returns and intensifies, not having to catch back up to where it was before. At this rate you will be coming within seconds. You pull on Kihyun’s hair as you push your hips down to his face, begging for more. He flicks his tongue against your clit rapidly as he curls his two fingers up into your g-spot at the same pace, making you scream. You have to swing one hand over to the sheets to grip tightly otherwise you were afraid you’d explode. You hated that you were about to come this quick, but you just put it down to waiting for your turn for what felt like hours. You don’t tell Kihyun that you’re close because you already know what he will do, so you just don’t say anything and hope you come before he can stop. He starts sucking on your clit and feels it throb as your walls tighten around his fingers, he decides to let you build it up even more before he stops. You start panting and whining, curses falling from your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. He feels your thighs and muscles tightening around his head and once your hips start to rise more against his face, he stops and pulls his head back out from under your skirt. You don’t realise for a few seconds but once you do you immediately sit up and try to kick him, but he just smirks and slides you over to the top of the bed on the pillows. He wastes no time in pumping himself and lining himself up in front of your entrance, you look down, wide eyed. You didn’t expect this, but you hate how much you want it. He slides himself in with a groan, and you wrap your legs around his hips. He snaps his hips into yours and leans his head into your shoulder as he starts thrusting. The thrusts are deep and at a moderate pace, not wanting to go too fast just yet. Your high already starts building up again, your nails are digging into his shoulders, but with the sweat and movement of his body with his thrusts they start slipping and leaving deep scratch marks down his back. He hissed at the stinging sensation of the scratches coming into contact with the air and saltiness of his sweat, he loved the light pain of it. You couldn’t even moan as you felt like you were about to burst, just whine and whimper, trying to grab back onto Kihyun’s shoulder when your nails reach the end of his back. You tighten your thighs around his hips as your walls tighten around his cock thrusting into your g-spot. Your back arches as you start panting and whimpering, Kihyun holding onto the headboard to be able to reach you deeper. He has his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as he tries so hard to maintain. You finally come undone as your walls throb around him, pushing him closer to his high. You’re moaning what sounds like his name amongst other things, which is secretly driving him crazy in the best way possible. While you’re still in the middle of your orgasm Kihyun flips you over, shoving your face into the pillow which catches you by surprise. He pulls your hips up with him as he gets up on his knees and starts to thrust faster, hitting you from a new angle but still so deep and so sweet. Your walls are still clenched tightly around him, not coming down from your high but rather building a new one from where you were just at which you really aren’t sure if you can handle. Kihyun licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit with his four fingers, sending unfathomable pleasure straight to the deepest part of your core. You push your hips back against him as you shove your face deeper into the pillow and grip the pillow until your knuckles turn white, about to cry from the pleasure you’re feeling everywhere. You’re sure you’re about to explode for real this time. You let out a muffled scream into the pillow as you come again, your body shakes as it rocks through your whole body. Kihyun’s thrust become sloppy as he feels your walls throbbing against him and sees your juices dripping down your thighs and it pushes him over the edge, he rubs your clit a few more times as he reaches the peak of his high. Before he ejaculates he flips you back over so he can come all over your chest as he pumps himself empty. He’s letting out low moans as he looks down at your face, loving how fucked out and flushed you look. Once he’s all empty he falls back onto the bed next to you.

“I think I win that one” He sighs, breathless. You just turn to look at him, your expression unreadable. You struggle to get yourself up, going blind as you try not to fall on the floor after getting up and hold onto the bed for balance. You walk to the bathroom to clean yourself up, using toilet paper to clean up your chest, noticing all the hickeys but not complaining about them. You brush your hair out neatly with your fingers and wipe off your smudged lipstick and use another bit of toilet paper to dab some sweat off your forehead and face. Once you’re satisfied you walk back out into the bedroom to see Kihyun hasn’t moved, you start to get dressed back into your clothes. Kihyun watches you, not saying anything and you’re glad he isn’t. As you walk past him to leave the room he stops you and grabs your wrist.

“I really am sorry, though” He smiles softly. You snap your hand away harshly.

“You’re going to have to do better than that”

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fallstreakfeathers · 4 years

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[ Dont Look Down] Chapter- 3 CH Rating- T Warnings- n/a

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Shouting. She heard shouting… multiple voices arguing about something. They can’t keep the volume down? Kita blinked the sleep from her eyes with a yawn. Where was she? It smelled green. “What do ya mean ya can’t find her?!” one of the voices growled. Something tickled her cheek and she quickly swiped it with her hand. Spider! Oh… no, nevermind. That didn’t feel like it had legs. It was smooth, and flat, and an organic ruffling sound surrounded her as she smacked whatever it was. “I left her right here!” the second voice insisted tautly. She slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the light that sprayed through the leaves. Kita grumbled to herself more sound penetrated the wooden door. If she couldn’t see through the branches and leaves she hid in, she would’ve thought Leviathan was in the room. “She said she wanted to sleep!” “Well she ain’t in the bed!” Mammon huffed. No, not spiders (thank God), Kita reassured herself blearily. Why am I in a tree?

She slowly sat up, rubbing her stomach where it had been pressed against the bark of the branches and winced as her shirt unstuck itself from the imprints left on her stomach. If she hadn’t been intent on remaining hidden from the demons outside her door, she would’ve laughed at grooves temporarily embedded in her skin. “Are you sure she’s not there?” Leviathan asked. “Bed’s made, nothing’s moved, no human in sight.” “Right, well,” Leviathan started,” the human is your responsibility, not that I'll ever understand what possessed Lucifer to put such an untrustworthy, scummy, lowlife demon in charge of anyone else, but good luck finding her!” “Uh-uh, no way!” Mammon barked, “you were the last one with her, so you’ll help me find the human before Lucifer finds out.” “Before I find out what?” a honeyed voice echoed through the door like the purr of a predator about to pounce. “Nothing, nothing! I definitely didn’t bail on the human and Levi definitely didn’t lose her,” Mammon babbled. A nervous rambler? I’ll have to make sure I never tell him anything. A growl of the white-haired demon’s name traveled through the room, heavy and silky. There was no mistaking the authority that rang in his tone.

Mammon yelped and Lucifer knocked on the door twice before it swung open. She froze, hoping that he’d just leave after finding nobody there. His red gaze swept the room before settling on the tree she rested in. His eyes narrowed slightly and her shoulders sagged in defeat. How the Hell did he know where she was? “Dinner is in five minutes,” he said, “it will not be saved for you.” With that, the door closed and Kita sighed and glanced at the small clock sitting on the dresser. 6:55pm. She’d slept less than three hours. Awesome. She grasped one of the lower branches and used her weight to flip herself over and off the tree, wincing as the bark scratched at her skin. She opened the creaky door with a sigh, stalking into the hallway where Mammon leaned against the patterned walls. “Eh? Where the hell were you?” “Tree,” she answered shortly as she brushed past him. The demon paused. “You have a bed though? Are ya that dumb?” “Sure, why not?” she deadpanned, rolling her eyes. Not wanting a bunch of strangers knowing where she was sleeping wasn’t idiocy. Considering her current situation and who these strangers claimed to be, it might as well be a survival tactic. She pushed past Mammon, ignoring his indignant huff, to follow the sound of idle chatter in the dining room. The small scraps of conversation died off as she stood awkwardly to the side. Why’d they have to stop talking? I’d rather just be ignored.

Thankfully, or perhaps to her embarrassment, Lucifer seemed to know her plight before she had the chance to voice it. “You may sit beside Mammon and Satan,” the first born told her. She nodded once, carefully pulling out the chair between the two demons so it didn’t scuff against the plush carpet. Whatever was being discussed resumed without a hitch as she sat at her assigned seat, in front of a large plate already stacked high with various unfamiliar food items. If some of it could be called that. The silver cutlery was as intricate as everything else in the building, and Kita felt small and completely outclassed as light glinted off the expensive utensils. Silver. Kita had eaten from plastic forks and paper plates in the human realm. She’d only ever dream of using plates like the one sitting in front of her. Eating from such wealth didn’t sit right with her stomach, and only furthered her belief that she did not belong there. With a glance through the tall windows, she could see the light of the moon hanging in the sky. Was there anywhere it’s beams couldn’t reach? Kita shifted. Even the chairs were an over-the-top, carefully chiseled luxury. The padding was some material she’d never seen before, velvet soft, and it felt like she was sitting on a cloud. The chair sitting by Beelzebub remained empty. Huh. ‘You’ll be staying in the House of Lamentation with Lucifer and his six younger brothers’. Those were the prince’s words, which meant there were supposed to be seven Avatars living in the mansion. She knew the first through sixth, so who was the seventh? And why hadn’t they been mentioned yet? “Kita, why don’t you tell us about yourself?” Oh no! Anything but that. There it was: The Question. The worst, and most unarguably jinxed inquiry in the three realms. Regardless of whether someone really cared to listen or was simply asking out of politeness, she could never seem to remember anything about herself once that cursed question was asked. Not that anything she could possibly say was of any importance anyway. “It’s a good time to get to know you a little. You’ll be staying with us for a year, after all.”

If I live that long.

“I’m afraid I’m not all that interesting,” Kita said just as Beelzebub stuck the leg of some sort of bird between his jaws. It disappeared in less than two bites.

Did...did he just swallow an entire turkey leg? Is that turkey? Oh my god.

“I’m sure there must be something entertaining about you,” Satan smiled.

“No, you don’t get it,” she disagreed, “I’m really quite boring.” Kita wasn’t as stupid as the demon clearly thought. He’d only asked to be polite, and that (in Kita’s opinion) was worse than not asking at all. If he’d heard her, he didn’t act like it. “Tell us about yourself.” It wasn’t a question anymore. “There’s nothing to tell,” Kita insisted. She shoved around the silver strings of something layered on her plate, then stabbed a lump of purple-ish meat. What was this? Were those insect legs?

“Didn’t you have a file or something about me?”

She was about to take a bite of the strange meat stuck to the end of her fork when a large hand reached over beside her to snag some kind of vegetable from her plate.

She smacked the offending limb with an angry glare, only to gasp when orange nails gripped her arm and a low rumbling filled the air. Her fork clattered on the silver plate as the rest of the demons froze, watching the two warily. The room was silent enough she was certain she'd hear a pin drop. Kita swallowed uncomfortably at the tension suffocating the group as the massive demon’s growls echoed and seemed to engulf her. She could feel the vibrations in her bones, and she tugged her arm back, wincing as his grip tightened and electricity crackled over his form. Kita’s eyes widened and for the first time since arriving, realized that these people were not lying when they’d said they weren’t human. “Beelzebub,” Lucifer’s voice called softly in warning. His eyes traveled to the eldest before he released her wrist with a grunt. She rubbed her bruised skin, wincing at the already purpling marks. The demon had already continued to eat from his plate (and the other’s) before Kita had even picked up her fork again.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Kita mumbled to herself as she navigated the long halls of the house. She’d left her plate with the remainder of her uneaten food on the table. It didn’t make sense, in her opinion, for her to clean up when Beelzebub clearly would do it for her. She was pretty sure she’d seen the ginger eat a plate or two. Possibly a fork as well. I wonder how many people’s half-eaten food he’s chowed on? How does he not get sick? How can he even digest cutlery? There was no apology given for the demon’s actions, and Kita rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. Why would they apologize? They probably enjoyed the scene. Damn demons. She kicked at the rug. The shadows dancing on the wallpaper almost seemed a little too lively as her stomach complained about its own emptiness. She turned to drag herself down a different hall, sighing. She was lost. Wonderful. Why’s this place so god-forsakenly big? Kita froze as a frustrated groan echoed in the candle-lit hall before a string of hoarse growls and harsh crowing in what seemed to be some sort of language buried the area in a cold haze. A chill ran up her spine. She couldn’t understand a word of whatever was said, but it was unpleasant and grated against her ears like nails on a chalkboard. She shivered, turning to retreat back to the guest room before an irritated voice grunted out in english. “Agh, come on!” Kita squinted at the familiar voice as she raised an eyebrow at the sight before her. Hanging from the ceiling, tied with a rope and upside down no less, was Mammon. Was he the one making that infernal noise? “Hey! Human, come here!” the second born called. Kita sighed, shoulders drooping as she shuffled forward. Of course she wouldn’t get past the demon without him seeing. That was just her luck. She stared at him and he gazed right back as the rope swung to-and-fro. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” the demon said, “would ya get me down though?” “...Who tied you up there?” “Lucifer,” he shrugged against the rope, “because I left ya earlier.” “Does he do that often? It seems unnecessary.” “Glad we agree, now get me down, human!” “Nah,” Kita’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t help people who can’t even be bothered to use my name.” “Help me or I'll eat ya when I get down!” Mammon snapped. “Yeah, sure you will,” she shoved her hands in the pockets of her pants, “why not use your special demon powers or something? Or am I supposed to believe that a ruler of Hell can’t get himself out of a rope? What an idiot. “Hey! Worthless humans like you should talk to the Great Mammon with more respect!” he barked, “Ya should be kissin’ my boots, not talkin’ smart!” Worthless… She snorted, turning to return to the room she’d been assigned. She rose one hand in a half wave as she left. “See ya, dumb demon.” Kita paid very little heed to the indignant shouts as Mammon thrashed in the rope. She turned the corner and quickly descended the marble stairs. The house was surprisingly quiet, aside from the faint echoes of Mammon’s voice, for a place eight different people lived. She took a deep breath as she opened the door, smiling softly at the delicate scents of the various plants in the room. At least it smells nice, she thought, with my luck I would’ve expected rotting flesh or something. The girl sighed, exhausted despite her nap and more than ready to just climb the stupid tree and sleep once more. Maybe when she woke up this time she’d be back home. She shook her head at herself. It was already known by the demons that she’d used the tree to hide away, so that would be the first place they would look for her. She’d need to find somewhere else. She backed away from the plant, pausing mid-stride on her way to the door again when something on the bed caught her attention. A uniform matching what the demons had worn all day had been neatly folded and placed on the silky sheets, a dark contrast to the obnoxiously pink coverings (seriously would it have killed them for some neutral colors?). A small spray bottle with some sort of liquid sat next to it. “Odor Eliminator” Kita read, “ ferals keep mistaking you for dinner? Get rid of pesky mid-day human odors with this special formula!” She grimaced, unfurling the clothes before dropping it unceremoniously back on the bed. The jacket jingled cheerfully as it landed, like it was mocking her ire.

There was no way in Heaven or Hell she was wearing the pink, frilly monstrosity of a skirt crumpled in front of her. She refused to even wear shorts on the small side. She gripped the clothing in her hand once more, frowning. Who would be the best to go to with this? She pondered. Lucifer. He was the ‘eldest’, after all, and clearly the one in charge around here so it would make sense to go to him with a problem. The human nodded to herself, irritation canceling out any fear she should’ve had of the demons in the house while she stalked out of the room. Lucifer or not, she couldn’t find it in herself to care at the moment. She wanted pants. She found Lucifer downstairs in the commons area and wasted no time tossing him the garment. “Pants. I’m not wearing this.” “You’ll wear what is provided,” Lucifer replied in a tone that should’ve left no room for arguments, his tired eyes trained on the article held in his hand as he occasionally sipped a cup of dark coffee. At least, it smelled like coffee. Kita sighed quietly and considered her options. She could simply take a loss (no). Perhaps she could steal one of the demon’s spare pair of pants? Also a no. There was no way she could possibly sneak around without being caught by someone, and the clothes were probably cursed anyway. So that left the only reasonable option left. “Pants, or I jump off the roof.” “You won’t.” “I will,” Kita argued, “I guess I could also ask some random demon to eat me. Shouldn’t be too hard to find someone.” The glare she received should’ve terrified her, but it had no effect in her own irritation. “I do not wear skirts. Or dresses. Or shorts.” “Once more, you have been provided with this, so you will wear it.” “Sure. And I can tell your prince just how great a job you’re doing of making the exchange student comfortable,” Kita frowned, “I don’t feel a slight change of wardrobe is too much to ask, considering what’s expected of me.” Lucifer was silent for a moment. “Mammon will show you to your classroom tomorrow at 8:50am. Be ready by then.” He’s ignoring me?! “It’s nearly time to turn the lights out. Go back to your room and rest. I’m sure you’re exhausted.” Kita opened her mouth to protest, shutting it just as quickly as he raised his hand to stop her. She frowned and left the uniform on the side of the furniture before turning to stalk away. “Kita,” Lucifer spoke over his shoulder, “do not wander at night.” That accomplished absolutely nothing, she berated herself. What did she expect? That Lucifer would actually listen to her?

Ridiculous.

I can’t believe they aren’t even giving me a day to adjust, she sniffed as she walked under the archway to the front entrance. Kidnapped with no negotiations, threatened, humiliated, and they want her to take it all in a stride? What a joke. At least the living space was pretty. Kita padded over the soft carpeting into the main hall where the tall dragon-like gargoyles stood watch over the main doors. She peered up at the snarling faces leaning over its pedestal. Its ruby eyes glowed warmly in the light of the fireplace, and the creature's spiny tail wrapped around its pillar protectively. She tore her sight from the intricately carved statues as loud footsteps fell above her. Kita lowered her eyes as Beelzebub made his way down the staircase and passed her. She pretended she wasn’t aware of his amethyst gaze watching her. If she didn’t make eye contact, then there would be no reason for him to interact with her, right? Right. That’s how it always was. If she didn’t look them in the eyes, if she didn’t challenge them, then she’d be left alone. Kita released a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as the massive demon disappeared around the corner and into the next room. Stumbling quickly up the marble stairs, the door to the guest room shut with an audible click. She wandered over to the bed where the small bottle of ‘odor eliminator’ still sat and read the instructions on the back. If it was meant to destroy the smell of humans on demons after they fed (she shuddered), then it would hide a living human’s scent too, right? She sprayed it over herself and the clothes she’d arrived with and was pleasantly surprised to find it had no chemical smell. In fact, it smelled like nothing at all. Kita peeked into the hallway, gripping a small blanket and watching for movement before slipping out. She followed the plush flooring back to the staircase, jumping slightly when a clock chimed eleven times. She shook her head at herself before carefully standing on the wooden handrails behind the large statues. Next, she tested her grip on the sides of the round spikes on the creature’s wings, using them to pull herself up to the top of the pedestal. She avoided the sharpest bits and wedged herself between the stone creature’s front legs as if the hard claws and detailed fangs would be able to protect her from the dangers of the house. It was stupid, she knew, but the ruby eyes of the dragon still glowed warmly with promises of safety, so she closed her eyes and attempted to sleep in its stone embrace. She was sure she’d likely be woken before it was time for school anyway. She snorted at the thought. I’ve been dragged to Hell to go to school. Full of demons, and who knows what else.

She’d already had enough demons for several lifetimes.

#obey me #obey me fanfic #dont look down #arkwrites #obey me oc #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon

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hardyimagines · 5 years

Text

Fitz

This is called ‘its 2 am and I can’t sleep so I wrote this in 30 minutes’ also I watched this today and can’t get him out of my head!!!

DRABBLE ( SHOCK )

Warnings: smut (;

———

“Jesus, would you just drop it?” The heaviness of your tone warned the surrounding men to back off. Your agitation was seemingly growing by the second and the gun that Bridger had aimed at John wasn’t helping the situation at all. Your hands were set firmly on your hips, jutted out to the right side as you scrutinized the situation. “Put that down before you hurt yourself.” Bridger looked toward you, lips curving downward at your lack of worry. Did you not think he would pull the trigger and blow Fitzgerald’s brain all over the blanketed snow?

Fitzgerald was sat calmly on the rock he’d been sat on for an hour. His boots shuffled noisily in the crunching ice below as he adjusted himself on the boulder. It was beginning to irritate his rear, not exactly the most ideal surface to be perched on. He pushed another piece of meat past his lips, unbothered when pieces of it clung to his strands of facial hair. You moved past Bridger and took it upon yourself to brush away the gross-looking piece of food from his beard.

Bridger lowered his weapon then, eyes falling to the ground in defeat. He doubted he’d ever be able to shoot a man that wasn’t a physical threat. He took a small step back and then another before turning on his foot and heading back down the small hill toward the circle of men gathered around the growing fire.

You let out a heavy breath before pinching John’s beard. Tugging on it in the slightest to draw his attention solely on you, you sent him a glare before moving around the rock so you stood at the ledge of the cliff. Peering down at the river, you watched the racing water, crashing against itself and hidden rocks to create large splashes and life-threatening waves. You folded your arms, unable to admire the scenery because you were too alert for threats. There was no peace here, despite how it appeared.

“You just gonna starve yourself till your body eats its way from the inside out?” Fitzgerald muttered gruffly. His fingers pinched the raw meat, tearing it from the bone it was attached to.

“I don’t like that..” You told him firmly. “You know I dont. I’d rather eat some fish.” You hated fish. “Why the hell cant you cook it? You’re going to get sick eating it raw like you do.” Turning to face the man with a squint, your arm extended, finger pointed toward the flame a few feet away. “Sitting in the circle for ten minutes to warm the meat up won’t kill you, you know?”

“Being near Glass is bound to do the trick.” He bit back. Rising from his spot on the rock, he instantly towered over you. The coat that had been draped around his shoulders began to slide off of his broad form, unnoticed by him, so you stepped forward and swiftly caught the collar. Drawing it more securely around him and back into its proper place, you let your hands linger on his shoulders.

“You are such a baby.” Your words were a whisper. A playful tone danced in your insult.

Fitzgerald seemed to like the atmosphere you’d created, for he stepped closer to you, blue eyes gliding along your features as you smirked up at him. He lifted the meat, already cradled in the center of the two of you. But you swiftly stepped back and pushed his hand away.

“Oi, come here.” The hand that wasn’t coated in fresh blood extended toward you. He grasped ahold of your hip and easily drew you back toward him. “I wasn’t finished messing with you.” The meat in his hand was tossed on to the rock, instantly staying in place because of the amount of snow.

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you.” You teased, hands finding the middle of his stomach in order to keep some distance between your body and his. It was pointless, but he let you think you were actually doing something. He pretended to be restrained for a second before he managed to overpower your arms and lug you into him completely.

“Come on, give me a kiss.” His puckered lips were so very inviting, but the speckles of blood in his beard reminded you of what he’d just been feasting on.

“Baby, I really don’t want to kiss you after you were chowing down on some raw meat.. I love you, but I do have some restrictions.” Staring up at him intently when he trapped you against his bulky body, you weakened the longer he held you.

“Oh, you don’t want to kiss me?” He whispered, leaning in nevertheless. “Don’t break my heart, now..” He whispered as quietly as he did when there were threats present. You shivered noticeably, lips parting so you could let out a shaky breath. You heart thumped deafeningly, rendering you silent for a second.

“I do want to kiss you,” You elbowed him in order to get away. “but not when you taste like dead meat.” Shoving him back and away from you, you took the advantage of him being momentarily stunned before rushing toward the small hill so you could join the other men around the fire.

Glass watched from his peripheral, the way that you and Fitzgerald messed around with one another. He couldn’t believe it. John Fitzgerald was a cold, heartless son of a bitch that no one would miss should he fall ill or be slaughtered. Glass took a bite of the fish he cradled, dark eyes illuminated by the glow of the fire. He shared a look with Henry, neither one of them understanding how a man so cruel, so heartless, so careless, could fall in love. John went from beastly and inconsiderate when around them, to this playful, loved up teddy bear when with you. It was mind-blowing. He was two different people.

John was quick to follow you back toward the group of tired men. Nobody lifted their gaze to him, but most lifted their gaze to you. Soft smiles, polite ones, were exchanged. The men shuffled to make room for you, but didn’t bother making a space for the man that you — for some reason — loved. They knew he’d settle down behind you. You practically collapsed in the snow, kneeling in front of the fire happily. Basking in its warmth, you leaned forward to grab a stick and some of the raw meat on the plate in the corner. Jabbing the sharp end of the twig through the food, you stuck it in the flame and watched as the heat cooked your meal.

Fitzgerald lowered himself down behind your kneeling form. His legs opened wide, offering you the perfect place to settle down once you were ready to eat. He removed the canteen strap from around his neck before placing it by his side. The water sloshed noisily inside the hollow bottle, catching your attention for only a second before you looked back to the fire.

Bridger was avoiding all means of eye contact with John, too afraid to look at him after holding a gun to his head. He’d done it for a stupid reason — simply to show that he had some sort of power over the previous situation. It was about direction, where they needed to go, how they needed to get there. Long story short, they disagreed and Bridger thought drawing his gun was wise. It wasn’t. Fitzgerald would remember that.

Dropping down on your rear, you settled back and against John, small hand finding his thigh as you used his chest as a steady surface to lean on. Your knees bent, closed-toed shoes smushing the snow beneath them as you happily munched on the cooked meat.

John pressed his lips against the back of your head, leaving his mouth there for a few moments as he relaxed. He was warm. He didn’t know if it was because of the fire or your little body, but he was grateful for both. His lips moved from your head, down and around to your ear, resting there for a moment before he spoke lowly — almost inaudibly.

All the men around the fire found it difficult not to watch the pair of you. You were the only girl they’d seen in months and of all the men in the group, you’d chosen the meanest one. The smallest ounce of affection reeled them in so when you craned your neck around to inspect the bearded-bloke, they couldn’t stop staring. You lifted your hand to his cheek and pinched it softly before stealing a soft kiss. Shyness didn’t accompany John, not in the slightest. He didn’t care if the entire group watched him bend you over and take you on a sprawled out pelt, but you were a bit more.. classy.. than that.

“Quit it.” You whispered against his lips in response to the disgusting things he’d just whispered in your ear. You discreetly squeezed his thigh before looking back to your food. In attempt to distract yourself from the bubbling want in your belly, you pinched the meat and pushed it past your lips.

John didn’t mind the fact that you were playing hard to get. He knew it was because of the group. If nobody was here, he knew you would’ve rolled over on to your back, opened your legs, and begged him to do whatever he wanted. It wasn’t a secret to anyone that the pair of you were crazy about each other. It wasn’t a secret that you had sex. So he didn’t know why you were being so shy about it. His fingertips trailed along the length of your arm, so rough and cold against your skin, but still welcomed. He wore torn gloves, fingerless now because of all the hard labor he’d had to do over the last several months. His free hand found your hip, gliding along the waistband of your trousers. You briefly looked south when his thumb grazed the button on your slacks, but you didn’t say anything. He was just being John, he wasn’t actually going to do anything.

Your fingertips were red from touching the meat in your hands, tongue and teeth the same despite the fact that you’d cooked it semi-thoroughly. It wasn’t well done, it had been a little under medium rare. You let out a breathy sigh before looking toward the stars as they began to twinkle above. It was getting darker by the minute.

Shadows danced alongside the flame, joining in the branches of the swaying trees. John was continuously tracing the button on your trousers, caressing the cold metal as if it were really all that interesting. All of the men had lost interest and were now either trying to doze off, finish their meals, or get closer to the fire. You finished off your own meal, tossing the stick into the flame onced you were done. John drew you into him even more securely then, unable to resist from being your main source of warmth. You closed your eyes and gave yourself over to his touch.

Months ago when you’d been found scavenging through their campsite, they’d been ready to kill you. Fitzgerald, in fact, was the first one to remove his weapon from its holster. You weren’t a woman then, you were just a threat and you would’ve been disposed of if it hadn’t of been for your quick tongue. You’d explained how you’d been taking from your own camp whilst sleeping. The French, so angry and careless, had swept you from your sanctuary and taken you from your friends. Who knew if they were even still alive? You were very, very lucky to have escaped the bastards who’d taken you — one little mistake they’d made and your ran for days. You hid in tight spaces, avoided all open areas. You’d been on the run until the men you resided with now had found you. John’s group was nothing like the French. Nothing at all.

Fitzgerald had been on the side of the men who thought it was wise to kill you. You could’ve been a liar, a scheming thief, a heartless bitch with no care in the world for the men. And you probably would’ve been shot if it hadn’t of been for Glass. He found you necessary to keep, should an actual problem arise and a trade was needed. It was ironic, how you’d ended up with the rudest bloke of them all — but you considered yourself lucky. Beneath the hard, tough exterior of Fitzgerald was a cuddly teddy bear and he was all yours. He’d grown so attached to you and your smart mouth.

Fitzgerald undid the button on your trousers, instantly making you straighten defensively. Verbally asking him what the hell he was doing would only draw attention to the pair of you, so you remained silent. Your eyes dropped to his hand and your own fingers followed. Grabbing at him to try and shove his greedy palm away, you swallowed thickly. “Fitz.” You hissed breathily, attempting to be as silent as possible. He paid you no mind. The tips of his fingers moved under the waistband of your trousers, slipping further and further under the material until he was wrist-deep in your pants. The urge to gasp was strong, but you swallowed it down and instead let out a strangled whimper that you tried to disguise as a cough. It worked.

His fingers grazed your slit without hesitation, delicately caressing you. He was careful, slow, and beyond grateful for the warmth you gave back to his fingers. His mouth moved to your ear, husky and low as he spoke. “Close your eyes and keep calm.” His hips pressed against your lower back. “Let’s not draw any attention to ourselves.”

You craned your neck around slowly, mouth skimming his chin before you spoke against his beard. “I’m breaking up with you.” You grumbled sweetly.

He smirked visibly. “Well, then I’d better savor this, shouldn’t I?” He marked his words by firmly pushing his fingers against your clit and rolling the hardened bud gently around in a slow circle. Your eyes fluttered shut, body growing heavier and heavier as he held you. He leaned in and kissed your nose before adjusting his head so that your face fell into the crook of his neck.

The only person able to see what the two of you were actually doing was Glass and that made John feel completely in control. Cocky. Hot with pleasure to rub this into the bastard’s face. He wasn’t sure why he clashed so much with the man, but he did.

John took his time to pleasure you like he said. One finger made its way to your entrance, sliding into you with so much ease because of how wet you were. The other fingers played with your clit, poking and teasing and rubbing the bundle until your feet were squirming in the snow. He took pride in what he could do to your body. Red-faced, heavily breathing. He loved the way your knees pressed together and your hands fisted in the icy snow. You were the loudest woman he’d ever been with and he got so much pleasure from that. So to see you squirming, so desperate to make a sound and let him know how good he was doing, it made him feel quite powerful.

Glass knew what the two of you were doing. He was the farthest thing from an idiot, but he wouldn’t give John the satisfaction of knowing he was watching. He tried to distract himself, tend to hawk, look at the food, watching the surrounding trees to ensure that they weren’t being stalked — anything to keep from ogling the pair of you.

Fitzgerald added another finger, pumping it simultaneously with the other and jus as agonizingly slow. He wasn’t usually so tender with you, he was a rough lover, a hard, fast man that took the dominance and ran with it. This was a different side to him, one that you actually quite liked.

Your toes curled inside your boots and your teeth sunk down on your bottom lip. Nibbling at the pink flesh until it was sore and swollen, you didn’t stop fidgeting until your body grew tingly. “Oh, John..” The words were impossible for anyone to hear. He felt your clenching around his fingers, making his job in pumping them a little bit more difficult. Your back pushed into his chest firmly, feet sliding in the snow as you arched slightly. He moved his mouth to your neck, attempting to mask your orgasm with a look of mere pleasure from a neck kiss. You whined breathily, thighs closing and trapping his arm in place. He could tell you wanted to thrust your hips, rock them vigorously in order to draw out your orgasm, but that would be too obvious, so instead you twitched and wiggled, eyes clamping shut as wave after wave of ecstasy ran through you.

It took a few moments for you to come down from your orgasm, but once you had, you were unsure of whether to punch him or kiss him. He withdrew his fingers from your trousers, lifting them instantly to his lips so he could lick them clean. He blamed it on the fact that he didn’t have a rag, but you both knew it was merely because he wanted you to see just how much he enjoyed you. Your soft eyes moved along his face before you lifted yourself up and rotated around. Kneeling between his spread thighs, you hooked your arms around his shoulders and pressed your lips against his own. He let out a moan of surprise, hands lifting to steady your hips as your mouth assaulted his. You slid closer, moaning unashamedly into his mouth. This part — you didn’t care if everyone watched or heard. He swallowed each of your sounds with ones of his own, grunting and humming each time you suckled on his tongue. His hands moved south to your thighs, gripping them so he could guide you completely on to his lap. Forcing you to straddle him in his seated position, his hands returned to your hips, urging you to grind against him.

“Mh..” You drew back breathlessly. “Let’s go.” You hissed. Standing from his lap, you shoved your messy strands of hair out of your face. Leaning over in order to snatch his hand, you lugged him up with difficulty.

John would’ve asked questions, but he already knew where you wanted to go. Somewhere — anywhere private. Who was he to deny you?

He followed obediently as you pulled him away from the bright, cracking fire and through the trees until it was impossible to see. He had no time to ask questions before you had him on the ground, covering your body like a blanket as you laid in the ice cold snow. Your hands were on his waistband, undoing his belt and shoving at his trousers desperately. You hadn’t wanted him this badly in months, not since the very first time the pair of you had slept together. It was exciting — risky, hot, and it made you feel so happy.

How he had such a strong effect over you, you didn’t know, you’d been trying to enjoy your meal and now here you were, hungry for something so different. You supposed that’s what love did to people.

—

Morning came around sooner than anybody would’ve liked. You were fast asleep against Fitzgerald’s chest, sleepily nuzzling into him the brighter that it grew to be. His arms were wound around you snugly, protecting you from the cold wind that whipped around your bodies now and again.

Glass was fast asleep, Hawk was messing with a stick, Bridger was on lookout duty. Henry was peering down at the river. Anderson was snoozing still.

You rolled around again when the sun’s rays weaved through the tree branches and shone down directly on your face. Whimpering in distaste, your hand moved to your face, shielding your eyes from the alarm clock that you didn’t ask for. Opening your droopy eyelids, you leaned up on your elbow, sleepily peering down at Fitzgerald as he slept soundlessly. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. So peaceful, unbothered. You stole a very small kiss, a brush of the lips before you rolled to the side and leaned up on your knees. Rising so you could stretch, your arms extended high up into the air, hands closing into tight fists as you woke your body up fully. There was no going back to sleep now.

Stepping over Anderson’s legs, you made your way toward the ledge where Henry was and peered out at the water that noisily raced along stream.

“Sleep alright?” He inquired quietly.

“Mh, crick in my neck, but that’s bound to happen.” You told him quietly before sending him a soft smile. “You?”

He nodded. He didn’t speak again for a few more moments. “It’s quiet.” He adjusted the rifle in his hands. “Where are all the animals?”

You lifted your gaze to him, arms folding over your chest. His words made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, stomach churning in disapproval at his assumption. “You think someone’s near?”

Henry pursed his lips. “Arikara don’t ever come this far.” He whispered softly. “You stick close to Fitzgerald.” He turned away from you then. “I reckon it’s the French.” He didn’t want to scare you — but at the same time he did. Letting your guard down was the last thing anyone needed and he wanted to be sure, even if it meant scaring you into it, that you were safe and protected.

You stiffened visibly before slowly moving your gaze back to the stream. All the memories of being held hostage by the French came rushing back. You felt sick, cold, and afraid all at once. It was enough to make you think you were going to pass out. You wobbled on your legs before hurriedly moving back toward your space beside Fitzgerald. You never wanted to be held hostage again, not by the low-life, scum of the earth pricks who’d had you before. Your hands fisted against your boyfriends chest, beating against it firmly enough to wake him.

“The French are near.” You whimpered out brokenly. “I can’t go back to them, John.”

He was bleary-eyed, momentarily confused. Your words didn’t register within him for a few moments, but once they had he was up and his rifle was in hand.

Their was a pop to the left, a loud crunch and then the sound of a gunshot. Glass was awake in seconds and Anderson rolled into the fire from the sheer shock. They dusted themselves off before lifting themselves up and all at once, the men prepped themselves for a war.

The French were here and not a single one of them was visible.

———————————————————————

Drop a comment if you liked this!!!! I am obsessed with it when you guys leave feedback / gifs / cute shit. 🥺🥺

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#tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagine #john fitzgerald x reader #john fitzgerald imagine #the revenant imagine

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sweet-sugar-cowboy · 5 years

Text

Miss. Orléans | Red Dead Redemption 2 | Part 5

@lowkeyofsassguard

Elizabeth Orléans comes from a background of unimaginable wealth from her father. Raised in the life of luxury, she adored her parents and was always a respectable little girl. However, when tragic hits and she’s wearing all black at her mother’s funeral, her life is turned upside down as her father became a drunken mess.

During one of her fathers business meetings, Elizabeth wanders in town and gets herself caught up in something dangerous. Then the infamous Dutch Van der Linde saved her and took her in. There she fell in love and only to have her heart broken.

When events and situations change, Elizabeth leaves the gang and her life as an Outlaw. Leaving only a note and a pile of cash.

John Marston x OC (implied)

Arthur Morgan x OC

Word count: 2021

Arthur had spent most of the day away from camp, wanting be alone and left to his thoughts. He wandered around the land, meeting a few strange people and helping them out. They made him do some odd things, but he met a particular person who wanted to photograph the wild and got his satchel stolen by a fox. It gave Arthur one hell of a chase, but eventually he got it back and the man was able to get the photos he wanted.

He had spent the rest of his days hunting buffalos and some deers to harvest their meat and fur. Ended up going to a trapper to sell him the fur and have him fix up some clothing attires for him. Now he was heading home to camp, wanting to get some food in his belly, maybe some whiskey before he retired for the night. When he entered the camp he noticed it was awfully louder than usual as it seemed everyone was there, laughters and singing could be heard in the night air as he got off his horse and hitched it.

Curiosity overwhelmed him as he wondered what the special occasion was. Entering the camp, his blue gaze instantly went to the campfire where majority of the people were, surrounding two familiar kids.

Jack was currently seated between James and Rosie as the young boy bonded quickly with the two older kids. Abigail was off to the side smiling brightly at the three as she and Hosea cooed at how adorable they were being. Instantly the three became quick friends as they never met kids around their age and took immediate liking to one another. Even shy and timid James opened up quickly as the twins shared their stories about growing up and all the things they would do with their mother. Rosie seemed particularly happy sharing about her experience going fishing, even if others would view it as boring.

James on the other hand talked about books he read with Elizabeth and impressed some of the people by how well he read. Mary-Beth and him were talking about different novels they read. Once you get the boy going, he's a talker, especially when they were discussing about a topic he's interested in.

Dutch was the first to notice Arthur's presence as he stayed a little way back from the group to just observe. Walking over to Arthur, Dutch placed a hand on his shoulders, "It seems these two can change the mood of the camp mighty fast," He mused, his own smile toying on his lips, "What do you plan to do Arthur?"

"What do you mean by that?" Arthur grumbled as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat, admittedly wary of approaching the two. He still didn't know where he stood with Elizabeth and the two kids.

"They're your kids ain't they? You plan on ever taking responsibility?"

"She dont want me Dutch, certainly don't want me around her kids," in his mind he kept beating himself up for all the stupid decisions he made, wanting to fix them, but didnt know how. Since he left the mansion yesterday, guilt has been eating away at his mind as he wanted to be there for them. How he so desperately wanted this, wanted this family now that he knew he had one.

"Don't be a fool son, Eliza is still sweet on you after all these years," Dutch boldly claimed as he offered a cigarette to Arthur, to which he took appreciatively. Though he wanted some whiskey as well.

"Please do tell me how?"

"I can see it in her eyes Arthur, now her words are harsh, but she is a mother looking out for her kids. Just take a look at James name, his middle name is Arthur. If that doesn't tell you anything son, then you really do just know how to shoot."

Dutch left him after that to think over what he said. Was Elizabeth still sweet on him or was Dutch just being Dutch? It has to mean something that Elizabeth gave James his name as well, even if it is just something tiny. Groaning, Arthur walked over to where the whiskey was and grabbed himself a bottle before finding a comfortable spot near another fire camp nearby, not wanting to be around the gang right now. Though he wanted to spend some time with the twins, but he supposed he'll wait for his turn.

However, while Arthur was drinking his sorrow away, a certain somebody managed to sneak up from behind him, though not intentionally, when James stepped on a branch and it snapped, Arthur turned around quicker than an Arabian horse trying to knock you down. Surprised by the man's sudden action, James stayed still, blue eyes wide like saucers as he timidly waved at Arthur. The older man realised who it was and mentally cursed himself for spooking the boy, but covered it up with a cough, "Nice to meet you again James. How you liking the camp?"

James recovered from his initial shock and sat on the makeshift chair in front of Arthur, placing his hands on his knees as he rubbed it, "Everyone seems nice and most have been friendly, but I don't really like a big group like that. Rosie fits right in though," He muttered, but Arthur heard him. Heard how tired he sounded.

Chuckling, Arthur put down the whiskey bottle as he stretched his back slightly, "Well that's the gang alright. Like family, but they can get real annoying sometimes."

"Not Mama and Rosie, i'm never annoyed of them," James stated, as if trying to defend his small family. Even with him being all shy, he was the only boy in their family and he needed to protect them. After all, he was raised without a father, but Elizabeth tried to fill both roles.

"It's hard to stay annoyed with Eliza, she has this charm to her," Arthur spoke before he could think.

"Did you know Mama?" James asked, completely unaware about their relationship.

Arthur chuckled lightly at the irony of his question as he couldn't help but feel bitter. He so desperately want to claim to be James and Rosie's father, and the only thing stopping him was his insecurities and Eliza, "Knew for awhile, then she left and I haven't seen her in awhile till yesterday," the Outlaw replied vaguely, not knowing if Eliza would appreciate him telling her son about her Outlaw days. The two of them did bad things, but Eliza escaped before she can do anymore bad things.

James nodded, not saying anything for a minute as he gathered his thoughts. His mother's past was always a mystery to him as she would simply say that the past is the past and shouldn't worry about it. His mother also never talked about his father all too often and if she did it would be quick and short answers, "Mama always said my Pa was a good man, but just did bad and stupid things. Rosie and I sometimes wonder if our Pa loved us, but Mama said she was the one who left him."

Words got stuck in Arthur's throat as he stared at the glum look that adorned the younger boys face, he couldn't help but feel like he was responsible for it. However, a small chance of hope lit up within him as Eliza thought he was a good man. Maybe she was just saying it so the kids don't think their father was this horrible guy, but it still made him feel giddy inside. Elizabeth was trying to paint him in a good picture, "Let me tell you this James, whoever your father is, he deeply cares for you and your sister."

"You really think so Sir?"

"He's be a damn right fool is he dont," it was taking everything in him to not up right and say he was their father. He could easily say it, show him a picture of when Eliza and him were together, but Elizabeth would most likely bring a pack of wolves down on him. Plus, he had no right to, Eliza's been the one raising these kids.

"What was Mama like before she had us?" This was the young boys chance to learn more about his Mother.

Taking off his hat, Arthur ran his hands through his grimy and oily hair, he made a mental note to go into Valentines and have a bath before he meets Eliza again, "Your mother was a lot like you I guess. Prefers small crowds and don't really like meeting new people. She was a hell of a fisher, caught a fish half the size of her once. I remember she likes reading as well," There was more he could have said, but he'd rather not tell James that his mother was the sharpest shooter out there and was one hell of a robber if she wanted to be.

"Do you like reading Sir?"

"Not really, I write in my journal sometimes. Your mother was the one who bought me one and got me into writing," Eliza didn't appreciate it whenever Arthur would silently fume in anger and would occasionally snap at her or ignore her. So she got Arthur the journal a long time ago as some therapeutic thing he could do whenever he was bothered. Of course she was still with John at the time. The first couple of pages he wrote was about his jealousy towards the male and his desire to be with Eliza.

That was something he did not want anyone to read.

"Mama writes in journals a lot to!" James said excitedly as he glum expression brightened up, "She always rights in it everyday and had over a dozen of them journals. Though Mama won't ever let me or Rosy read it. Said it was personal."

*****

What in the world did I just do? I allowed Rosie and James to go with Hosea to wherever the camp was. Hosea said it was near Valentines, and that's so far away. I'm terrified for them, the world is such a cruel and unfair place, but I trust Hosea to keep them safe. Plus, Arthur knows he's the father to them so I only pray if any danger comes to them he'll protect them. It's unfair of me to think like that, after all I basically told Arthur that I didn't want him involved with them.

However, as each days past, the kids grow more curious of their father and with that curiosity they want to know who he is. I can only make so much excuses before they get angry at me and demand for real answers.

Maybe Arthur will say something to them during their stay there? Maybe he'll tell them he's their father, and I don't know if I'll be angry, happy or I just don't know. Since they were born I always thought of the possibility of the four of us being a happy family, but then I am thrown back to reality whenever their actions are the talk of the town. Is it selfish of me to want Arthur to change? Is it wrong of me to want him to leave the gang and be with the three of us? The world is so dangerous for Outlaws and I don't want my kids to be live that life.

Guess I aint doing a good job, about to invite a bunch of them to live with us. I use to think I was doing the right thing, that I was raising them right, but as I grow older and so does my kids, I keep questioning if I ever did the right thing. Maybe if I didn't let my selfishness get in the way, my kids could have grown up with a father. It would have been embarrassing to stick around, and only have Arthur be with me just cause of the kids. But, if it meant my kids would have been happy, I would happily do anything to embarrass myself.

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momestuck · 5 years

Text

Epilogues: Meat ch 28-32 [Epilogue 5]

So now we’re in different hands.

chapter 28

We return to John, this time with alt-Calliope narrating about his alarmingly blunt teeth. Also on further thought I have no more reason to use ‘she’ pronouns for alt-Calliope than proper Calliope (alt-Calliope does not even seem to use the name Calliope in narration, just things like ‘the dead cherub’), so I will use they pronouns, and will edit the previous post to reflect that.

alt-Calliope declares that they are not going to be ‘inserting thoughts into peoples’ heads’, though they will be ‘truthfully’ reporting those thoughts with more clarity than the subject of narration is necessarily prepared to acknowledge.

john would be mortified with human embarrassment if he could understand the clarity and precision with which i am willing to telegraph his thoughts. but his embarrassment is irrelevant to me. as always, the truth is paramount.

This mortifying description of how John thinks of Terezi includes a reference to “gap moe”, because of f u c k i n g course it does.

John worries if this makes him like a creepy weeb who collects body pillows, but in dialogue dismisses this as something that would only make sense to a human. Unfortunately, Tegiri exists to disprove that sentiment!

Despite alt-Calliope’s avowed dedication to ‘truth’, there is obviously more to this than not contradicting the ‘truth’ of events or thoughts... she is deciding how to present the ‘true’ information, what to state and what to leave implicit and what to brush over. a story also concerns what’s ‘relevant’ and ‘essential’, as Rose said so long ago.

chapter 29

Jane, it seems, has been using the trickster-mode lollipop during her campaign. This leads to an argument with the narration about whether or not it’s “problematic” - neither Jane nor alt-Calliope think so, though neither can be considered someone presented in a 100% positive light at this point...

(Jane mostly argues in the in-universe political campaign situation, when of course the argument about ‘trickster mode’ was the whole ‘caucasian’ shitshow)

Anyway, despite her prior statements, alt-Calliope is not above interfering in the narration if it’s for the sake of cherub artefacts.

jane rubs her eyes under her glasses and groans. trickster mode is also quite exhausting. what a strange quirk of human biology that excess euphoria must necessarily be followed by crippling despair. she carelessly tosses the lollipop on the floor, lurches toward her desk...

no.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

alt-Calliope narrates that she’s totally got Dirk’s number - “he probably thinks he’s a very clever boy, my brother did too” - as Dirk works on a long red rifle in between other tasks designed to distract.

Jane wonders about trying to blackmail Jake by revealing that he’s been having sex with trolls. Dirk challenges this as xenophobic. There’s an odd exchange...

JANE: What ISN’T xenophobic?

DIRK: Well, for one thing, what you just said there?

DIRK: Probably also xenophobic.

JANE: WHAT?

DIRK: Sorry, that’s just how it is.

DIRK: You either gotta roll with the woke shit, or decide to commit laborious, symbolic, melodramatic suicide in the process of utterly giving up.

This may be referring to his suicide in the other branch, I guess? idefk what this is trying to say ><

chapter 30

Karkat and Dave are attempting to win over Jake. This involves a lot of jokes about “neoliberal austerity measures”, super pacs, and so on... and the two of them playing off each other. Dave has been presenting “visionary”, “avant-garde” campaign ads based on SBAHJ.

alt-Calliope notes that Jake has now been freed from Dirk’s indirect narrative control, able to make his own decisions. In tiny text, Dirk grumbles about this. Without his control, he declares, Jake is a purely reactive ‘dead bug’; with it, Jake is like an ant controlled by Cordyceps towards a “greater purpose” (i.e., reproducing Cordyceps ¬¬)

Anyway, Karkat ultimately makes a speech: he doesn’t say he’ll be the best president, but that whichever one wins, it will set a precedent on the matter of troll reproductive rights that will last for a very long time. Jane is, necessarily, far more concerned with nice appearances than doing right:

KARKAT: NO MATTER HOW NICE SHE WAS WHEN YOU WERE KIDS, HER DEDICATION TO THE APPEARANCE OF THAT “NICENESS” HAS ALREADY LED HER DOWN A PATH OF CORRUPTION AND DUPLICITY.

KARKAT: BECAUSE WHEN YOU LIVE INSIDE A SKIN THAT’S A LIE, YOU’LL EITHER GROW TO FIT IT, OR COLLAPSE UNDER THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN SHIT-SPEWING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

KARKAT: TRUST ME, I FUCKING KNOW, BECAUSE I USED TO SPEW AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF SHIT.

I think this is well put. I think it gets to the heart of a lot of things, that this story is talking about, apart from the free will/alternate possibilities stuff...

Anyway, that wins Jake over to their side.

chapter 31

Back to Terezi eating weird things in space. (Nice!)

Do god tiers need to eat? ...come to think of it, Terezi never actually went god tier.

Anyway, Terezi and John have a heart to heart. About the doomed timeline... and about Vriska. Terezi refers to the Remem8er flash, where she found a connection with the Terezi from the Game Over timeline.

TEREZI: TH4TS WHY 1M OUT H3R3

TEREZI: YOU S33...

TEREZI: TH4T DOOM3D T3R3Z1 M1SS3D VR1SK4 *SO* MUCH, 1T W4S L1K3 4 HOL3 1N H3R H34RT

TEREZI: 1 R3M3MB3R TH3 W4Y SH3 F3LT, B3C4US3 ON3 T1M3, 4LL H3R M3MOR13S C4M3 FLOOD1NG B4CK

TEREZI: 1 3V3N GOT TO S33 WH4T H4PP3N3D WH3N SH3 D13D

TEREZI: SH3 4ND 4NOTH3R VR1SK4 GHOST F1N4LLY FOUND 34CH OTH3R

TEREZI: 1T M4D3 M3 SO H4PPY G3TT1NG TO F33L TH4T, 4S 1F 1T W4S ON3 OF MY OWN M3MOR13S

TEREZI: 1T JUST R31NFORC3D TH3 F33L1NG TH4T TH3R3 W4S SOM3TH1NG SP3C14L B3TW33N US

TEREZI: 4ND 1 JUST K3PT H4NG1NG ON TO TH4T B3L13F, R1GHT UP UNT1L...

TEREZI: OH, 1 DONT KNOW

TEREZI: NOW???

TEREZI: 1V3 PR4CT1C4LLY D3VOT3D MY L1F3 TO C3RT41N M3MOR13S, TO TH3 1D34 TH4T TWO P3OPL3 C4N B3 M34NT TO B3 W1TH 34CH OTH3R ON SOM3 COSM1C L3V3L, 3V3N 1F TH3Y 4LW4YS S33M TO G3T 34CH OTH3R 1NTO TROUBL3

TEREZI: 4LL TH4T 1NV3STM3NT, 4LL TH4T S34RCH1NG...

TEREZI: 4ND FOR *WH4T*?

TEREZI: OV3R 4 SW33P TOG3TH3R, 4ND SH3 JUST D1S4PP34RS 1NTO THE VO1D 4G41N?!

TEREZI: WH4T 4 HUG3 B1TCH

T_T

Anyway, this gets to the crux of the matter: Earth C may supposedly be paradise, but it doesn’t feel like it for either of them. To quote a certain book series, “perhaps some people just don’t have the knack of being happy”.

Anyway, Terezi can’t bear to part with John just yet - so she offers to take a look at his tooth wound. There’s a very funny moment where alt-Calliope narrates the blade drawing in a way so as to personally antagonise Dirk, who is pissed.

Terezi removes the poisonous tooth and then dresses John’s wound - I’ll be interested to hear from @drc4ble if her wound care is up to snuff. Then they have post-surgery makeouts.

Literally any even slightly intimate moment lol (or even a fight)... I miss feeling able to be that affectionate with people.

Although this is a het scene, it actually feels surprisingly... not het. idk. Not sure how to clarify that.

alt-Calliope, I guess, hasn’t lost her obsession with shipping and intimacy from when she was small. She claims she’s merely allowing John to perceive his “true” thoughts - and that’s why he’s being so bold. But that involves a decision, right, about which of his thoughts are “true”?

chapter 32

Apparently “proximity to a black hole”, a proxy for void, renders Roxy’s internal monologue perceptible to alt-Calliope, even though it wouldn’t normally be for those “on a higher textual plane”.

as for alt-Calliope, narrated as Jade:

looking beyond the wall she faces, and beyond everything past it, through the very fabric of narrative itself. they scan the ciliary veins of pacing, motivation, foreshadowing, irony—a continuum that has been upended by the prince’s interference.

Dirk and alt-Calliope are back to arguing in the narration - about how diverse the crowds are, for example. Dirk dismisses alt-Calliope’s narration as “fake-woke”.

Anyway, despite Dirk’s needling in the narration, Roxy and Dave have a well-observed conversation about like, figuring out your gay/trans/nb/etc, coming out and so forth. Dave talks about like, various stages of more-or-less-ironic self-denial. Dirk gets increasingly irate at the discussion of gender and sexuality that doesn’t lead straightforwardly into like, clear-cut relationships.

Also he’s preparing to assassinate Jake. Unable to force his thoughts into narration, he just speaks out loud, and I guess alt-Calliope reports his words.

Dirk starts climbing the bell tower. Alt-Calliope tries various means to stop him: narrating that his feet feel heavy - he monologues that he has determination to get past this - dropping a bell on him - he monologues that he’s destroying the bell with his sword. Then they just dismiss him as boring...

Alt-Calliope resorts to warning Dave of the assassination attempt. This is turning into Death Note here... “ah, but what you didn’t realise is...” type shit stacking on top of each other. Dave stands in front of Jake, which would be a Heroic death, something Dirk isn’t willing to expose him to. But Dirk’s gun isn’t loaded with bullets, but with... tranq darts. But moreover, he was misleading us as to his intentions.

He wasn’t going to shoot Jake at all. He was going to shoot alt-Calliope/Jade... giving him back control over the narration!

That was interesting though. Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.

Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.

Now who’s hungry for meat?

Epilogue 5, in toto

So this is just a ludicrously meta version of Death Note now? ok, ok...

Dirk has essentially taken the role of Caliborn, in terms of representing one of two poles of what Homestuck is “about”. Where Caliborn was about tedious masculinity and over the top carnage, Dirk seems to want plots: plans unfolding, some kind of big elegant modernist [that may be incorrect] construction where everything is “in its proper place” according to an artistic vision.

alt-Calliope now seems to want to tell a story about the personal, about complex but ultimately happy relationships, and of course to let these characters fulfil ‘their own will’, somehow...

#momestuck

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veg-recipe-spam-blog · 5 years

Text

I want to make this clear because im very sick of the self rightiousness that often accompanies veganism. I went vegan because I wanted to. Because it makes ME feel good and healthier. I didnt go vegan to shame people who eat meat. Do I think factory farming is horrific? Fuck yeah I do. But its not a failure in the common man, its a failure of the system and its lack of regulations. Being vegan ISNT CHEAP. Can I repeat that for the people in the back its NOT CHEAP. I dont care if you think that extra 20 dollars a week isnt a lot. For some people it is deborah. I spent like 6 dollars on half a gallon of soy milk okay. Sometimes people have to do what they have to to survive. 100% understand that. Then what can we do? Well for starters we can cut back on our consumption of red meats. Red meats have a HUGE impact on the environment. Cows dont give a shit about the ozone layer. If you cant eat no meat, choose different meats more often. And at any other vegans or vegitarians offended by what im saying right now kindly shut your veggie hole. Its not your business what other people eat. Answer questions and give advice but dont shove your diet down other peoples throats. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

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graceeast · 3 years

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Chapter 2

Part 14

This is a joke NSFW 18+

Today Kim came up to me and A-aron and told us that her and Karen are going to see Hannah Montana in concert. I was like yo Hannah Montana is my jam! They said they were going to hard core marathon all the shows ever made because you know you got to have the #bestofbothworlds. A-Aron and I thought it was a good idea for Karen and Kim a night to themselves.

Later I went shopping with my mom she asked me what I wanted I replied with my usual watermalon! She then asked me what else I wanted I said I dont know yellow is my favorite flavor. So she grabbed a lemon I said no you stupid bitch I said yellow. So she finally got the hint and got a box of just yellow crayons.

That night I played Wii bowling with my bro A-Aron and I was like get good scrub you bowl like your mom and he said it be like that sometimes. Then we got high #hugsnotdrugs #brosfohoes #instaverified. Anyway since kim has had her kids her tits are like #nexleval I wish she would call me daddy 🤤

Part 15

Since the girls are going out tonight A-Aron and I have to take care of the babies. #notavibe but I will still help him apparently his kid Jim said his first words they were "shove it Karen jr. #fuckit" we could not be more proud of him!

I hope A-Aron and I can raise these kids just as good a Sanic and Shrek raised their kids. Each of Sanic and Shreks kids have their own swamps that's what I call very successful.

Meanwhile at the concert Karen passed out from drinking too much and Kim is half naked and Karona is dancing on stage with Hannah Montana and Milly Cyrus herself it was very hardcore.

Part 16

Karona fell off the stage but it's ok because Billy Rae Cyrus caught her. They looked deep into each others eyes until rudely interrupted by Karen . "Excuse me!" Karen exclaimed. The Billy and her eyes locked he straight up yeeted Karona and they had some premarital kissing. Gross!

That day A-Aron texted me. "You ready to rob a bank?" I was like WTF A-Aron did you take your ADHD medication. He was like "I thought we were bros weather I took my meds or not!" "But to be honest I didn't" I said you should probably do that we will talk later. A-Aron than says "I love you bro no homo"

The girls had fun at the concert but Karona is still a little upset that Karen stole Billy from her. But they made up since Karen said "he's horrible kisser I ended up complaining to his manager Hannah Montana about it!" "And we broke up." Karona was glad she dodged a bullet with that one thank our lord and savior Dr. Phil

Part 17

A-Aron and I have to clean his room today apparently I cause 90% of the messes. Anyway his room has a white boy white sanfransico vibe to it, it has several posters of pokeman. It also have posters of big time rush. After picking up his several pairs of board shorts we are lunch which of course was case of dillos #cultured.

Karen jr. Finally learned how to complain to the manager today since we went to friendlies and she got the wrong ice cream. Jim said shut the F up Karen and Boe just minded his own business.

I cant believe Karen won the presidency! Surprisingly since she was going against Bloomerberg. Science he is an old white man and she is a black Mexican. She didn't have a great chance but she made it. She is going to make America love shrek again.

Part 18

In Chillerys class today we were listening to one of those educational songs and low key I got turnt as hell listening to it. Later I ended up buying it on iTunes for my blue totally awesome ipod shuffle. I listened to it only 600 more times. I even made a dance to it to show Chillery tomorrow in class.

We all stood up and said the pledge of the memeist then saluted the flag with Shrek on it with our middle finger as it is the way he would want it. Then we said long live our president Karen amen 🙏. Then we all dabbed and coughed in each other's faces.

That night Aaron, his family and I went to the cheesecake factory and we ate like kings. It was very good till I got home and had explosive diariah every where. Gross.

Part 19

Today I started talking to Korona cause she a cutie. She and I decided to go on a online date on roblox since that game bops. Anyway we were thinking about going to Mac Daddys for dinner on Friday I'm excited! Except when we got there Mac Daddys was closed so we had to hard-core hand job and then well you can only imagine what happened next. Its closed because of of the pepperona.

But its ok because I got quarantined with her which was nice because we did a lot of HBO and chill. We take a couple hits of the mareajowana. She is my Quranqueen.

School is online now and Chillery was talking to us then all of the sudden there was a loud noise. "What was that" Chillery yelled. A-aron raised his hand and said sorry that was me I dropped my iPad. "I soiled my depends" Chillery exclaimed. I than said Sah bro to him and Chillery yelled shut the F up. Whoh Chillery has no chill.

That night I went home and I printed off some black and white nudes for my sweet heart KTVSPN4 I hope she likes them.

Part 20

Today in school a new student came on line her name is Cardi B. All of the sudden someone who had been quiet all day raised their hand. What is it asked Carol Baskin our art teacher. "Yes, is that short for something?" Cardis cheeks turned bright red she hung her head and embarrassed and said "it's short for Carigan Backyardagain" thewhole class laughed. Carol said if we don't stop she would feed us to tigers so we shut right up.

Today after classes Karona came over we had sex and I was pretty sure I tore my rectum. But you know what they say chuck it in the fuck it bucket. Also #worthit. She enjoyed it which is good because we don't waste. Especially seman and hot pickles oh my goodness after eating one of those and watching the hot pickle movie 🤤. Hot pickle I need to repent.

The next day A-aron was down and before class Skyped my friend group apparently Karen Jr. Was getting to be a handful. Thankfully Karona is into all of the astrology stuff and a-aron yelled "what can you tell me about scoripos?" The answer was simple don't be a donter...

Chapter 21

I got home and listened to Thomas the dank engine. Then all of the sudden Korona called me. "Honey you know how we had 69 on 4/20?" Yes I answered "well I'm #tomato sauce" what? "I'm sorry I'm prego" she exclaimed I said it was going to be ok and we would figure it out. "Wow you are the best" she said.

That next day in music class we had a project to write a song about someone who inspired us. Danny Devito went first "yes this is a song about me." He said he went on singing -"this won't make us fall there is still one man we can call, Danny Devito the one that we need oh" it was very catchy. The teacher wasn't pleased but it was better then kims song about Carol Baskin.

I'm so happy Karona is prego, today we find out the gender of our baby. Turns out its a girl we are going to name her corona lite extra. I can't wait until our beautiful baby is born!

The next day in class Carole was singing about her husband it was very sus talking about sardine oil on her husband. And something about tigers and how they be snacking on his meat I don't think in a good way. Anyway big yikes.

We had a baby shower for Karona of course on the internet dont want this weird virus. She got a onsie it said dada on it I can't wait for our baby to wear it.

Part 22

A-aron sent me a link last night it said under the link "looks like you" I of course clicked on it and you will never guess what happened. It brought me to a separate video I watched it there was some unmentionable stuff happening in it, I texted A-aron and said "I think that video gave me cancer" he texted "Thanks Obama!"

The baby is due next month and we couldn't be happier we decided that when its born we are not going to vaccinate our child because autism. Dont want our kid to be messed up for life. We are going to be using natural oils and food made from home and of course cloth diapers. Got to make sure she is perfect.

At lunch I was telling A-aron our plan he completely agreed that autism is way worse than being susptible to the flu or polio he said they didn't get Karen Jr. Vaccinated and she has only gotten small pox once and the flu 4 times since she has been alive. To me thats worth it

👌 💯 😌 🙏

Karen started talking about "he own business on Facebook and is trying to get us to start our own. "It only takes one second to share" she sells essential oils.

" its called essential oils for a reason"

I bought some hoping that would shut her up but it did not. The next day she talking about betrayal on Facebook and how hard she is trying to sell this shit to everyone.

Just shut up no one wants your oils!

I'm so excited for Karona to have the baby any day now she will arrive and we will be so happy and a family.

Part 24

Karona went into labor in quarantine with me I delivered my own child! Like we said it is a girl so we will be naming her Karona extra light.

She was healthy and thank goodness 🙏 it was a home birth because hospitals are so disgusting and they might vaccinate her and we don't want that because everything we are doing is all natural. We are even using cloth diapers because the government expects you to use disposable but i just can't in good conscience do that to my sweet daughter.

Karona is nursing which is great because we are planning on nursing her till she is 5 because breast is best.

Part 25

Today on Facebook Karen posted one of her normal posts. "Does anyone have a truck I can borrow need to move a couch also if you could help me that would be great!." And "does anyone have any Bobby pins I can borrow?" "I'm so done with everything" "anyone want to buy essential oils and be a model for me for free?"

What a bitch just trying to get free stuff from people I never understood asking for stuff like that. Like a few things here and there but every day is kinda ridiculous. Plus who barrows Bobby pins like wtf. Like I'm pretty sure those are one time use.

Today Karen also asked me if I would sell essential oils for 10% of the profits. She also said using them could help me lose up to 10 pounds. She said it just takes 2000$ to start out but I'll earn it back next month.

Yeah right I'll earn it back never. I just told her I wasn't interested which she got really upset with. "You know you just lost me 300$!" -yeah I did the math 10% of 300 is 30. Dumb bitch oh well.

Part 26

Karona extra light started talking today apparently she is religious because first thing she said was you may be verified on Twitter but are you verified in the eyes of the lord.

I have had many conflicting feelings lately back in elementary I liked guys but now and then I liked both, but now I'm leaning more towards girls but I still sometimes have feelings for guys. Any way I'm just going to come out as Bi because I still like some guys but lean more towards females. I told Kim she was totally excepting.

Kim started a job at worst purchase today she said her day was so easy and they are actually paying her a good amount. I'm proud of who she is

But who am I is the question

Well now that I got it figured out my name is Atlas Consintine I am bi-sexaul and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I am a chillis employee that has gone through alot but I think its time for this saga of my journal to come to an end you see tomorrow is high school graduation and pretty soon I will be thinking about the next step in my life. Probably join the peace core or something. Ps simp means squirrels in my pants doesn't anyone remember Phineas and ferb. Anyway that's it for now journal until next time.

Atlas

#funny #fiction #short story

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em-powerr · 6 years

Text

Tw: eating disorders.

Its rlly hard for me to go on tumblr bc im just tryna have a good time but ed blogs keep popping up in my suggestion. Guys, please get help. You affect people you dont even know. People do care about you, and they dont have to tell you every single day for it to be real. I come here for aesthetics and positivity, not to trigger past problems and have a rougher time. Starving. Is. Not. Good. For. You. You are putting your body through h e l l. And no matter what you think, you need to get help. People notice. They may not tell you, but they notice. And they likely worry. I know for a fact that when I see skinny people on the street I worry about them for a while after that. Sometimes the rest of the day, sometimes the whole week. No matter what, your problems WILL become other peoples problems. Please try to get better. If eating clean veggies/fruits helps you feel better about eating at all, then try going vegan for a while. Watch some documentaries or something. Its not more expensive than eating meat, and its helped a handful of people with their eating struggles. But please seek professional help. You need it. If you starve yourself for any reason, you arent being kind to your body. Your body literally runs on food. Just like cars run on gasoline. And if youre having a rough time filling up your tank, you need someone that can help you. Even if you dont want help. Please please please dont kill yourself and please please please dont make others feel bad about themselves by romanticizing the disorder. Please. Its been over a year since ive been in recovery and 99% of the time it doesnt even cross my mind, but i still struggle. Unpopularize eating disorders. Get that out of the media, please. Your weight isnt what makes you beautiful, and people need to stop thinking that your weight determines everything about you. Its really dangerous, guys. You will lose your loved ones because of these disorders. If you see someone suffering from an eating disorder of any kind, help them. Dont shove food down peoples throats or make them starve themselves; help them kindly. Understand that eating or stopping eating, or keepin food down can be really hard for some. If you cant understand it then respect it. Make a dr appt. spread love. Be kind and help. Most people wont want help, so just do your best and do not give up on them.

One more thing. Diets do not work. Do not go on any diets. Thats still disordered eating and still hazardous to your body. Talk with your doctor and find out how you can get through this with less damage. You really can do this, you really can pull through, and there will be a day where you look in the mirror and see yourself, not your weight.

I love you all please stay safe and do your best

🖤👽🖤

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handslows · 7 years

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About your vegan post! I also agree that people shouldn't shame others for not being vegan and try and shove it down their throats, some vegans need to keep in mind that everyone should be in control of their own body and what they eat. I think that more people should be educated about veganism and the effects, so they can be aware and consider it if they want to. I think a lot more people would be vegan/vegetarian if they were more educated on the topic, like they could work it into school(1/2)

Health classes or something so people who are considering it can know more of the pros, cons. That's just my opinion(I'm vegetarian and will probably go vegan eventually btw)

----

hi, thats an interesting pov. im not sure i totally agree.

on one hand, yes i totally believe there is misinformation and that people and teens should be taught about the benefits of eating more green and reduce meat consumption because of health and environmental effects. i remember everytime we were shown a video in class about meat people were so grossed out lol.

on the other hand, i don’t think people should be like, taught about vegetarianism or veganism? i dont think people should be encouraged to ~convert or whatever you call it. homo sapiens are a omnivorous species and we have been eating meat, dairy products and vegetables for thousands of years, and i dont believe not eating any meat or animal product is to our benefit. i think people should reduce their consumption of meat, especially red meat, but i dont think a goal for society would be to go 100% vegetarian. we need to stop our farming practices, not end it completely. just my opinion.

there is also plenty of issues with non-animal food and studies that show some of the environmental risks related to it, and also companies like Monsanto. like yes lets eat fruits and vegetables but be careful where it comes from, you know??

the way humans are eating now needs to be restructured as a whole tbh.

#Anonymous

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bettaesthetic · 7 years

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Bettaesthetic on Veganism

~We eat meat because it’s convenient. We’ve been doing a lot of things for many years.

~this is MY blog, and I post for myself and about myself. If you don’t wish to see what I post about, I won’t feel attacked if you unfollow me. Whatever makes you happy.

• Meat Eater Argument: “PROTEIN!?!?!!!”

My body needs protein! This is in fact the case with most living organisms. I, however, obtain my protein and nutrients without eating animals. I’ve lived my ENTIRE life this way.

• Meat Eater Argument: “but we evolved this way for a reason??!?!?”

Sure, evolution intended for this to happen, because 2.6 million years ago we began to eat meat and evolved around the hunting and gathering prospect of food. But you can’t say I evolved wrong, since I’m doing just fine without meat. Sure I take supplements, like nutritional yeast, and Omega3 pills. But those do not directly hurt our environment, or millions of other living beings.

• Meat Eater Argument: “but our ancestors all survived on meat, you can thank them for that.”

You know what else we can thank our ancestors for? The Holocaust, slavery, the destruction of most of the rainforest, the pollution of the earths atmosphere, Salem Witch trials, beheading, isolating people with diseases on an island (patient 0), killing babies that weren’t average (autism, Down’s syndrome, melanin deficiency, leprosy). Those may not have gone as far back, but they contributed to how fucked up our world today is. My point here is that our ancestors did a lot of stupid things.

• Meat Eater Argument: “but vegan is expensive!!!!!”

Actually, it’s not. You just can’t buy pre-packaged, microwaveable dinners anymore. Because the vegan ones, are expensive. So get a cookbook, and do some experiments!

*****

All that matters is I care. Because this is my blog where I post things about how much I care about animals. This is my blog, and I will continue to run it how I would like. Nothing has been “shoved down” your throat. If you didn’t agree with my post, stop reading. If it bothered you a lot, unfollow me. If you’d like to continue following but not see my animal rights content, block my ‘veganism’ tag.

*****

DONT get this point wrong. I understand that snakes eat other animals. They are not humans and don’t have the choice or ability to survive without it. That isn’t even remotely what I’m referring to when saying animals don’t deserve to be killed for food.

In fact, if you breed your own feeder animals for your pet, good for you. I respect that. They need those proteins, and breeding yourself does not support the industry that makes millions off of breeding incorrectly, inhumanely, and without a care in the world.

• Animals don’t deserve to be killed for food for HUMANS.

• A species that DOES NOT NEED to eat animals. Yes we need some proteins from them.

• But we HUMANS have the TECHNOLOGY to gain those proteins without killing animals.

• Yet most don’t, because it’s “convenient”.

• We have the power here. Use it correctly.

#veganism #mine

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healthmessenger · 4 years

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The Coronavirus Diet...according to the WFP

On March 23, the World Food Programme issued guidelines on the “do’s” and “dont’s” of eating while on quarantine.

Here are the 7 tips on keeping a healthy diet in the face of coronavirus…according to the WFP… and my personal take on each of them…

1. Hydrate, hydrate…

The body is made of about 75 percent water. The usual recommendation is eight glasses per day of fluid. As we are less active during lockdowns, and may not feel as thirsty, it is important to set regular reminders to ensure we are hydrating our bodies.

For flavour and additional nutrients, add slices of cucumber, lemon or orange to the humble glass of water. Avoid sweetened beverages such as soft drinks and soda because of high sugar content. If you want to know more about sweeteners, check the article posted on the 6th of December 2019 entitled “Food Additives To Avoid(Part 2/3: Sweeteners)”.

My take: As you can see we are back to basics (Level Zéro Maslow pyramid kind of basic) with what would easily hold number 1 spot in a moronic pamphlet called “Survival Tips for Dummies”. This first “tip” is such an obvious one that it makes me feel like nutritionists might not deserve the kind of praise, reverence and respect they currently do. Having said that, I would still commend the WFP for the gentle reminder…

2. GO foods

These foods are essential for energy, which is crucial for thinking, working, and fending off disease — think staples such as rice, pasta, bread and root crops. Choose things like wholegrain bread and mixed-grain rice, which release energy more slowly, fuelling you for longer and helping to maintain your weight.

My take: Wait…What??? Did I read this one right? This must be a joke…right? How on earth does shoving carb-rich staple foods while on quarantine (aka: not moving your butt for most of the day) help promoting healthy eating habits, let alone combating viral infections. Look, as much as I understand and even encourage safe social distancing during these unusual times (read “not making as many trips to the grocery store to buy fresh fruits and vegetables”) I don’t see how so called staple foods (most of them starchy) are going to help us fight this virus. Moreover, I was under the impression that this was going to provide all of us with an opportunity to hone our healthy cooking habits/skills…I don’t know about you but I don’t see how dropping a bag of rice in boiled water remotely ressembles the cookbook definition of a “recipe”… . All jokes aside, the only thing that these so-called staple foods are going to do is to spike your insulin without your body’s ability to metabolise/burn them, unless you are practising a moderately intense physical activity , in which case the integration of low GI starches into your diet does add value. Otherwise, please do yourself and your family a favour and stay away from high GI foods and focus instead on fresh/frozen low GI fruits and vegetables (the greener the better). Think spinach, asparagus, avocados, kale, zucchini, courgettes, etc… . We need to look for foods that are rich in essential vitamins and minerals…basically anything that can strengthen our immune system. Feel free to take supplements, especially vitamin D-3 as most of us are not getting as much sunshine as we normally would.

3. GROW foods

These help physical growth, especially for children. GROW foods rebuild your body when you are unwell or have an infection. They are often required in small amounts, but are essential to be consumed daily.

These include meat, fish, eggs, milk and other dairy products such as cheese and yoghurt. It’s worth buying UHT milk and other dairy products which have a long shelf life and freezing meat and fish.

Depending on the expiry date, eggs can be kept in the fridge for up to three weeks from the time of purchase. Eggs are a good source of low-fat protein and a range of vitamins.

Limit the consumption of canned meat because it is usually high in salt and fat. Canned tuna is a healthier alternative. Plant-based sources of proteins such as lentils and beans have a long shelf life, and are rich in vitamins and minerals. Rinse dry foods thoroughly before cooking.

My take: This third “tip” makes much more sense…even though I would caution against overdoing it on animal proteins, especially certain dairy products such as UHT Milk, yoghurts and cream cheese. Stick to harder cheeses such as gouda, emmental and cheddar as they contain lower lactose concentration. Try as much as you can to substitute cows milk with alternative milks such as almond milk or coconut milk, whether to make your morning latte or simply add some creaminess and flavour to your recipes. Also, try to avoid cold cuts such as ham, salami or carpaccio as they tend to be loaded with preservatives and additives.

4. GLOW foods

These make sure the body works well, help to protect the body from diseases and fight off illness. All foods have some vitamins and minerals, but colourful fruits and vegetables are generally rich in vitamins and antioxidants.

Build a colourful plate with:

Green fruits and vegetables: broccoli, spinach, cabbage, lettuce, Brussels sprouts, green beans, cucumbers, zucchini, peas, green pepper, green apples, kiwi, green grapes, lime, avocado.

Orange and yellow fruits and vegetables: carrots, pumpkin, sweet corn, sweet potato, yellow pepper, yellow tomatoes, yellow apples, apricots, oranges, grapefruit, peaches, mangoes, papaya, pears, pineapple.

Red fruits and vegetables: tomatoes, radishes, red cabbage, beets, red grapes, strawberries, watermelon, cherries, raspberries, pomegranates, cranberries, red apples.

Blue and purple fruits and vegetables: eggplant, purple cabbage, purple potatoes, blackberries, blueberries, purple grapes, plums, raisins, figs.

Preserved fruits and vegetables: whether canned, frozen, dried or fermented/pickled, these are a great alternative source when fresh fruits and vegetables are difficult to find due to seasonality or if they cannot be bought daily.

My take: Once again, the WFP almost hit it on the nail with this fourth tip. With the exception of preserved fruits and vegetables and certain high GI fruits such as pineapple, papaya, mangoes(any tropical fruits really) and sweet corn(aka “GMO in a piece of food”), this colour-coded list of fruits and vegetables is spot one. Try to privilege green vegetables(at least 50% of your plate) and complete your plate with the remaining colours.

5. Fortified foods and supplements

Depending on your situation, fortified foods and supplements may be required or combined with meals to supply required nutrients, especially in contexts where diets are of poor quality and limited quantity due to food insecurity.

My take: I am a bit confused with this one… . What does the WFP mean by food insecurity? Do they mean food scarcity due to supply chain instability and/or insecurity prone locations (as in human beings carrying loaded guns while grocery shopping … and potentially threatening other shoppers over a T-Roll). All jokes aside, if you live in such an insecure environment and feel like your life is at stake, it would indeed be a good idea to stock up on food with longer shelf life, whether fortified or not…just in case.

6. Exercise

Don’t forget to also squeeze in some physical activity! The World Health Organization recommends 30 minutes of physical activity a day for adults, and one hour a day for children. If allowed, go outside for a walk or a run, while keeping a safe distance from others. If you cannot leave the house, find an exercise video online, dance to music, do some yoga, or walk up and down the stairs.

My take: Why is exercise part of a list on tips on keeping a healthy “diet” under quarantine? Looks like the folks at the WFP haven’t looked up the definitions of “quarantine”… .Truth be told, exercise is a vital component of any human beings ability to physically and mentally sail through such uncertain times. Beyond the fact that we all come with varying degrees of “insanity" thresholds, whether programmed or triggered, the reported feeling of powerlessness in front of the forces of nature currently at play affects all of us on a deeper level, regardless of our age, race, status, educational background, income levels, etc…. Letting the steam off through exercise is therefore a good way to keep a balanced lifestyle…as long as you don’t put other people’s health and lives at risk.

7. NO foods — what to avoid

Foods that are high in fat, sugar and salt (heavily processed foods) are not considered part of a healthy diet. It’s particularly important at this moment to avoid these foods, as they do not provide any nutritional benefit.

My take: Really!? Did they really have to add such an obvious tip on the list. Looks like whoever started the list (hydration) received the honour of finishing it up with another “dummy”. In case some of you still have doubts, I am sorry to say that the jury (over 100 studies) has confirmed that any processed food is…definitely…unquestionably…ultimately…1000%…bad for you!!! Case closed.

There you go…the 7 tips on keeping a healthy diet in the face of coronavirus…according to the WFP… and my somewhat condescending take on each of them…for which I make no apology… . You can thank me once we are through this… .

Coming up next: The Actual Coronavirus…according to yours truly…

Until then…take care of you and your loved ones.

To Your Health

The Health Messenger

#CoronavirusCoronavirusDietWorldFoodProgrammeHealthMessenger

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ellebeebee · 7 years

Text

2.537

Part Seven

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six

Phrixus Jaril, 13, moves to the Citadel at a delicate age: namely, the peak of his teenage angst. He doesn’t expect much from these rich Citadel kids. But then he meets the Ryder twins, and all their friends, and realizes that he may have been a wee bit wrong about things. His relationship with Mira Ryder evolves over the years, and he never expected things to end up the way they did.

2970 words, Female Ryder|Sara Ryder/Original Male Turian Character, teen rating

AO3

He hadn’t really gotten to know Jyra Kraetoq, of the lower Citadel wards, during basic. And two months into advanced training, he still knew jack-all about her. He and Ruq tended to include her at meal times and in down time, because they came from the same basic squad. And they were usually in the same fire team. But the most they’d gotten her to say about herself was that she could probably infiltrate any system of ductwork, felt strongly that anyone not carrying at least two sidepieces and knives was asking for it, and didn’t believe in eating meat. Even the vat-cloned “meat” that was so often a camp staple.

She was okay, though. Good with tech and a pistol.

He never saw Kraetoq after training; last he’d heard, she had a post out near geth space– some joint op with both Alliance and Flotilla forces cleaning up leftovers from the Battle of the Citadel. Ruq, unfortunately, stuck to him like varren shit. Some years after boot camp, they met again at the fringes of the Attican Traverse. Slaver hunting. But even without meeting up with Ruq again, he recalled these two in particular because they gave him some advice he should have listened to. Sure, Kraetoq went through partners like tp, and Ruq was so dense he’d have someone sticking their mandibles straight up into his before he realized they were interested– but still. You see the splinter in someone else’s eye better than the log in yours or whatever.

During one evening’s free time, most of their squad and the other squads in the company were in the rec room. Kraetoq had stood from the table she, Phrixus, and Ruq had been sitting at.

She whistled at him. “Jaril. Latrine.”

Feet propped on the table top, Phrixus looked up from his omnitool. “Take a female.”

They (meaning everyone under sergeant rank) had to walk around the camp in pairs, usualy male-male and female-female, but in cases of male-female you took three. One male, two females or one female, two males. It was kind of a pain in the middle of the night when someone had to pee really bad and had to wait on someone to wake up and stop cursing you for waking you up.

“I could make the obvious joke here,” Kraetoq drawled. “But let’s just save time and go already.”

He didn’t feel like arguing, so he dropped his feet and shoved at Ruq, napping on the table with his head in his arms. Ruq grumbled some but got up anyway. A short walk later, the two of them leaned against the wall outside the female latrine, Ruq half falling asleep again and Phrixus with his mandibles deep in his tool.

And his head was still mired elsewhere when Kraetoq came out, and the other two were halfway down the hallway.

“Jaril,” Ruq called.

He looked up, and pushed off the wall. And when he followed after them, and passed by them, Ruq got sneaky and shot out a hand to grab onto his wrist. Jerking, he whipped Phrixus’s hand around so that he could look at the omnitool, too.

“I’m not gonna forget you–” he read out loud. He whistled. “How darling. Romantic, even. How much did you pay the guy to write all this for your sour ass?”

Quicker than Ruq could react, Phrixus flicked him sharply on the forehead with his free hand.

“Shit–”

“Dumbass,” he told Ruq.

His hand returned to him, he turned off his omnitool. He’d been browsing through his old message logs. The people in them almost felt like… strangers. At what point had they stopped writing to each other like that, like… Their feelings were so easy to admit. To just spit out. It hadn’t even been a year since he’d written that line Ruq used, but it felt like a lifetime.

The three of them walked back to the rec area with Ruq shrilling about the mark Phrixus probably left. Kraetoq glanced at him. At the face he was making.

“Trouble in paradise?” she asked.

He glanced at her. Shrugged. “My girlfriend. Lately she’s… acting like a damn princess. I’m here, busting my ass, and…” He shrugged again. “It’s just hard to talk to her lately.”

They dropped into their old seats. Propped their feet up again. And Kraetoq didn’t say anything, so he thought the subject was dropped. But then she cleared her throat.

“Maybe she’s acting like a princess because she is one? Maybe every girl is a bit of a princess. Just some don’t get the chance to act like it.”

He looked at her. And shrugged and rolled his eyes because he was a damn idiot and thought she was complaining about having to nag them about walking her to the latrine, and not that she was saying something he should have really heard.

He should have been worried when Mira started going out again. Since the move to the dorms, Forta had decided to cut the drinking and work on lifting and his overall fitness. Of course, the timing and the amount of enthusiasm he threw into this should have worried Phrixus for an altogether different reason. Mira, though, went back to sneaking out with Aela and all the old suspects back home. He’d thought at first it was her just going back to things like normal. But then at some point she and Aela got bored of all the same old house parties.

[mira] soooo

[phrixus] yeah

[mira] me n aela have been up to no good

[mira] ;D

[phrixus] do i really want to hear this

[mira] yesss

[mira] you do

[mira] so u kno how ur csn is tied to ur face recs and thats how you get id’ed for bars and stuff

If at any time you are a citizen of Citadel space, you receive a constantly updating three-dimensional face scan that will be associated with a Citadel Space Number and your various specs. This information is stored with various police and government databases, which vendors of regulated goods and services are required to access before selling to you.

[phrixus] yeah…

[mira] well, we met this asari who knows someone that will program a jump in scanner software when your face is scanned so it looks like you’re legal

[mira] its expensive

[mira] but i think its worth it

[phrixus] mira

[phrixus] are you for real right now

[mira] what

[phrixus] you’re planning on going to bars and clubs

[phrixus] you’re a kid

[phrixus] you know that’s fucking dangerous

[phrixus] there are creeps out there

[mira] yeah i know

[mira] we’re not going to be stupid about it

[mira] whats with you

[mira] you used to be into this stuff

[phrixus] well maybe i just have my priorities straight

[mira] and i dont?

[phrixus] you’re failing half your classes, you skip too much, all you really seem to care about anymore is partying

[phrixus] you’re not even going to the gun ranges or the arena

[phrixus] and aela just keeps making it worse

[mira] you dont know anything

[mira] aela has been there for me

[mira] she actually listens to me

[mira] not like you anymore

[mira] you used to give a shit about my life

[mira] now im lucky if you even send a message once a day

[mira] you used to tell me things

[mira] now i dont know anything about what youre doing

[mira] or how you are

[mira] youve changed and i dont even know you anymore

[phrixus] you think i wanted it like this

[phrixus] im here because its my responsibility

[phrixus] im doing my duty and i dont have all the fucking time in the world to answer every message

[phrixus] especially all this crap about how hungover you are or whining about how expensive your fake id will be

[phrixus] im here doing real work in the real world

[phrixus] not like you and aela out in la la land over there

[phrixus] im getting my life together not fucking wasting it

[mira] no youre not youre just being an asshole

[mira] maybe everyone was right about you

[mira] youre not shy or misunderstood or whatever

[mira] youre just a selfish jerk

[mira] you have no idea how to care about anyone other than yourself

[mira] and i bet none of this is new

[mira] youve always looked down on me

[mira] youre just a fucking emotional leech

[mira] but dont worry i wont bother you again with my screwed up life

They didn’t talk for two weeks.

He had never been angry at anyone, had never been angry at her in this way before. He’d never been hurt in this way.

He aced an impromptu fire and movement drill, earned praise from the company’s captain. He memorized all of the regs concerning the movement of refugees from an unsecured location to a secured location. He learned how to properly fire heavy artillery, and how to decimate an air raid with a dazzling firework display.

All the while pretending to not think about it. All the while stewing.

He felt like shit.

He ignored calls from home, from his moms and his old friends. All the messages. He told no one about the fight. Maybe he thought if he kept quiet, it would cease to exist. Just be erased from the history of the universe if no one could remember it.

But him ignoring it wasn’t going to erase the logs in his omnitool, or make her forget.

He just felt like shit.

When did things get so bad? How could it have been, just a year ago, that he felt there was no one who knew him better, that he trusted more, and then that same person turned into a stranger? Someone he couldn’t understand, someone who he couldn’t confide in or vice-versa? How the fuck was it possible that someone you’d shared a bed with– the only person you’d touched or touched you could turn into… an enemy?

And what was it in him that just… could do nothing to help her. Her mother was dying. And he couldn’t do anything. He hadn’t been able to comfort her, say anything of significance for her. He was useless.

If he were honest, and not trying to forget the whole thing, he’d have to admit he didn’t have much right to criticize her.

Where did the trust get broken? Where did the understanding go? Where did that warm afternoon air go, sliding down their bare backs? Where did the quiet rustling as they shifted closer go? And her smile– when was the last time he’d made her smile?

That hit some deep spot in him, some horribly tender place that wasn’t protected by plates or armor. A place he’d been trying to ignore, all this time at camp.

He pretended to forget for two weeks before he ended up wide awake after lights out, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. He was running on several nights of staring up at the ceiling instead of sleeping, and yet, here he was. Awake. Pretending.

Phrixus pushed up an elbow and glanced down from his top bunk. Everyone was out. In the hall outside, he couldn’t hear the boots of the patrolling fire watch. They were supposed to report anyone out of bed, but even if they caught him only brown-nosing assholes ever snitched on fellow trainees.

Silently, he slipped down the ladder. He dug his omnitool out, climbed back up, and pulled up the covers to block some of the light.

He sent a message to Mira. And waited. And waited. The air filters in the barracks room clicked at rapid rhythm every few hours. It wasn’t too loud, just sort of softly angry and stuttery. Could wake you up though, and you wouldn’t realize it was the filters. You’d get spooked and feel like something was sitting on your chest. He sent another message.

And he waited and waited.

[phrixus] We need to talk.

[mira] oooo cap

[mira] s

[mira] pucntion

[mira] ooooooo

[mira] u dontwnt to tallk tome

[phrixus] Have you been drinking?

A very long pause. He turned his omnitool’s light off when he heard the passing of the fire watch.

[phrixus] Where are you?

[mira] purgatory

[phrixus] Mira.

[mira] stop

[mira] dont

[phrixus] Who’s with you?

[mira] y do u caer

[phrixus] I’m messaging Aela.

[mira] no

[mira] y not alk me

[mira] im drunk im nt stupid

[mira] im the one u shld tallk to

[mira] but u dont

[mira] u nnever

[phrixus] im sorry

[mira] yeah

[mira] metoo

[phrixus] you wanna vid talk?

[phrixus] mira?

[phrixus] mira

He waited a while. And waited. Tried her again. Then he tried Aela.

[phrixus] hey are you with mira

[aela] yeah

[aela] we’re leaving purgatory now

[aela] try her tomorrow or something

[phrixus] ok

[phrixus] how is she

[aela] look, i’m the last person you want to ask about this

[aela] i’m not gonna pull punches

[aela] and i don’t want to make it worse

[aela] just talk to her tomorrow

So he skipped lunch the next day and messaged her. Wedged into the corner between two auxiliary buildings, having snuck his omnitool into his waistband in the morning. The electromagnetic barrier of the fort’s biodome buzzing distantly overhead. As answer, she vid called him back.

He was in fatigues, unbuttoned to the waist. The dome protected from a great deal of heat, but it was still much hotter out of doors.

She stared at him, out of the QE data transmission, tinged in hologram blue. In her dorm, sitting on a bed not so different from the one he used now. The plain, nondescript walls not so different from the ones in the barracks, yet hers papered with photo screens and posters. The cushions at her back the same from her old room. Her face was a mess, like clan markings done with cheap paint in a downpour, and she wore a wrinkled and disheveled dress he’d never seen before. Her hair was pulled back carelessly.

“Hey,” she said, small and quiet.

“Hey,” he said.

He could hear the distant rhythm of a jogging company. Even farther out, the sharp cracks of the range.

“You okay?” he asked.

Her eyes shot down, her jaw working. She shook her head.

“I don’t– I need to say something,” she said. “I said some stuff I shouldn’t have the last time we messaged.”

“I did, too–”

“Wait. Just, wait. I’m sorry. You’re not that type of person I said you were. But I also said some things I should’ve a while ago. Things haven’t… they haven’t been the same… Phrixus.”

He waited, holding his mandibles rigid. He watched the slide of her eyes to some spot away from him, and the working of her throat.

“I’m sorry,” he managed. “Mira, I’m sorry. I’ve been terrible. You’re nothing like… and I haven’t been there for you, I know. But I’ve been– worried about you.”

She hesitated, nervous hands going to push away a stray curl that wasn’t there. “I’m glad. I mean. I know I haven’t been making great choices. But I mean… I just wanted… some fun and– and you know, I’ve been worried about you, too. I don’t have any idea how you’re feeling anymore.”

“Yeah,” he said, subvocals dipping. “I know.”

“And I’m sort of tired of just… waiting for some bit of your time. I feel like I’m just a distraction for you.”

“You’re not– you’re not. But… I’m sorry. I just need, well, space. I really just can’t spare the same amount of time…”

“I know.”

Then she looked up properly, at the rigidity in his face. Her eyes shone. She inhaled, the sound trembling, in her throat.

“Phrixus, I think– I think this just isn’t working anymore. Things aren’t the same. And we both– I think we both need to focus on other things.”

The voice of some sergeant out in the yard spread out over the compound, echoing like a sergeant’s voice does, but wordless and unemotional and hard. An unintelligible dressing down of some group of teenagers.

“I…” he needed to reply, but his voice was skittering away from him. “I think… you’re probably right. I guess we should just– break up…”

She stared up at him. Her voice was so small and tight. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

He felt… relief for a while. Relief that the pressure and responsibility of the relationship was over. That he didn’t have to come back to his bunk with a backlog of messages to catch up on.

But then the guilt set in. Had they just given up? Should he have tried harder, done more. How could he have said the things he did. This wasn’t just anyone. This was her. And she had needed him, and he hadn’t been there.

And then the pain set in. Like the story Lieutenant Gratarian had told them on simulation; there are times when soldiers get cleaved in two, and they’re dead, they just don’t realize it yet. But they keep talking, still trying to get help. But they’re dead, and they’ll feel it soon.

All the things he remembered, all the things they’d shared– it got into that deep and tender spot. Turned into this black blemish that never seemed to go away. He could forget about it. But sometimes something (some scent that reminded him, some shift in another’s form) would touch it, and light that tender spot on fire.

But what they’d said still remained.

Maybe it was for the best.

He could focus on training, and she could work things out, figure out the thing in her that was hurting.

Time passed. He didn’t try to make up or restart things, and neither did she.

And they moved on.

#mass effect andromeda #mass effect #fanfiction #sara ryder #turians #sara ryder/orignal turian character #original turian oc #my writing #:(#im sorry #im not sorry #maybe a little sorry #oh wait no #...maybe--#nope nvm

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