#i dont mind being called a woman tho like im used to it and it doesnt unnerve me - but id rather not be like trapped in having to be that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewhizzyhead · 4 months

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you know when you get a friend that was even more "tomboyish" than you were in your teens and then as the both of you grow up and enter college, you see them explore expressing themselves more femininely and absolutely fall in love with it and with the concept of womanhood - while you on the other hand become all the more estranged with "being a woman" because good God you really don't fucking get it and that seeing your once-tomboyish friend find joy and an emotional connection to womanhood makes you really realize that you have no such connection whatsoever, hence making you feel left behind in actually "becoming a woman"? Anyways what I'm trying to say here is I'm definitely not fucking cis-

#when i told my cis girl classmates that i feel nothing but indifference towards the concept of womanhood or girlhood #they felt really fuckin sorry for me #and i'm like my bros my dudes i dont really give that much of a fuck for something i don't really understand in the first place #like of course i know feminist theory and all that and as someone born a woman i know and experience and study gender struggles deeply #be it with double standards or dealing with gross perverted dudes #that being said - i dont know what being a woman is outside of our shared struggle in patriarchal structures #like when u take away all the shit we definitely need to fight for - what else is there left for me to enjoy on a personal level #and the answer to that is nothing because i never really gave a fuck about gender be it now or as a child #perhaps its due to my upbringing as well na like i was more responsibility minded but still #to see once really tomboyish classmates grow to love being a woman makes me feel lonely because how can i love a concept i cant comprehend #so anyways when i told this dilemma to a nonbinary-questioning friend of mine he jumped with joy because BESTIE SOLIDARITY #and my bro here was never female to begin with and yet he fully understood my disconnect to concepts of gender #and the coming of age rites that come with them like 'nagiging dalaga na talaga' 'ay nagbibinatilyo na to'#so um yea #thats my ramvle for today and my update on my gender crisis #i dont mind being called a woman tho like im used to it and it doesnt unnerve me - but id rather not be like trapped in having to be that #so um woo #personal shit

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

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okay i want your opinion: how do you think would sanji know that he fell in love for real? and zoro? i think zoro wouldn't know until someone tell him

How Sanji & Zoro Know They Fell in Love

Edit: yeah this will be considered a drabble💀

Its pathetic how much ive thought about this

Im going to give a half assed answer because im half sleep rn while working

So first off I genuinely believe how he acted towards Viola is like the closest we ever got to how he’d probably act if he were in a relationship.

And i also I think Sanji would not fully acknowledge his stronger feeling to said person until he catches his change of demeanor. Because i think he knows in the back of his mind that he does has a DEEP LOVE for women, but he isnt IN love with any of them yk? He may have thought he was with a couple women (hell i can even add Nami possibly) but those feelings subsided when he found a new woman in his path.

I believe a fine example on how he’d probably truly fall in love w a woman would be having a deep late night conversation. Mind u him and said person would have been probably friends for a cool minute, they know each other by this point. And in this conversation there is No lustful gazes, no blood, just like raw one on one time. She’s maintaining eye contact, she is patient with him as he speaks, etcetc

I do also think it would be a new feeling for him and that girl would intimidate him in a way he is more cautious with his actions around her. And im not going to say Sanji will stop bleeding and go on to have his fits with other women no but i do think when he is around the girl it’s like a switch hits.

Basically the mf turns into Mr. Prince and its hot🧍🏾‍♀️

I also believe he would ask her out eventually but it would take some mental preparation and reassurance somehow that she feels the same feelings because he has been rejected by many women but this one he just couldnt bare.

Now as for Booty Hunter Zoro..

Denial.

Denial

Absolute denial

He does not want to believe it. He cannot believe it and he wont.

Doesnt matter how much he thinks about u, is subconsciously near u, how he always have a strong urge to pull you to the side just to be alone with you. He will give every excuse in the book before he admits he is in love.

He finds no use for it, he would use excuses like “Love would slow me down” or some bs like that. But then after a few years he begins to get frustrated because now he may be wrong. He may just be wrong about not being in love

The warm feeling he has when he is in ur presence

The way how he remembers the small things about you

The way how even when he gets lost he will always happen to FIND YOU

He even picks up some of ur mannerisms and HE HATES IT SM. He may even act colder towards u for it. He doesnt mean it he is just confused on these new emotions he has never experienced and the poor idiot dont know how to express his feelings all that well so if you ask about why he has been avoiding u he will get defensive.

It doesnt diminish his feelings for u tho u just have to take ur time with him, approach him, talk to him. And if u happen to put two and two together and call him out of his BS he maybe JUST MAYBEEEE be willing to open himself up to a chance of being in love

Idk tho.🧍🏾‍♀️

Half assed answer but i hope u understand what i was trynna say

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panicataphmausinsanity · 4 months

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levin

thinkig about how easily jess made levin accept aphmau as his mother once she came back... like bitch. wtf. that would have NEVER have happened. evre.

aphmau missed out on so much of levin's childhood. the worst thing is that it's no one's fault, so levin can't even blame anyone. but imo, i dont think he'd even be okay with aph being there. there'd be some sort of resentment towards her that he wouldn't be able to shake off for a long time. he would never accept aphmau as his mother so fast.

to him, it's zoey. zoey was the one who took care of him all those years, telling him stories about his "mother" when he knew that the woman she was talking about was no where near qualified to be called his mother. to him, zoey was always his mom. he'd be annoyed with everyone dubbing aphmau as his mom. he'd call zoey mom, sometimes even right to aphmau's face.

i honestly feel like the dude would feel threatened by aphmau's presence. he was fed all of these amazing stories by everyone in the village about what an awesome, great, considerate, smart, loving, bla bla bla lord his mom was. i'd say it would've given him such high expectations to live to, expectations that would cushion his mind and suffocate him so hard.

malachi tho... i hc malachi having hyperthymesia (everlasting memory where one can remember most of their life in vivid detail) so considering my hc i feel like they'd have a very heartwarming reunion.

oh and aphmau's pov about this,,,,, she'd feel very fucking weird and maybe even down right hatred for how levin calls zoey mom. SHE's his mother. BUT she would be extremely mature about it and wouldn't outwardly show her distaste for anything at all, she understands why this is happening but it's not something she can stand whatsoever.

it'd take a few years for levin to get used to aphmau me thinks. but oh, he'd get used to garroth MUCH easier. at the very least, garroth resembles the dude. surprisingly a lot. there's some familiarity he can get behind here, but aphmau...? this pisses aphmau off even more imo :3 it took levin literal years to be okay around aphmau, but with garroth i'd say some months? instead and it's not like aphmau can do anything about it either.. levin needs to come to her at his own pace and time . . .

levin to garroth: "where were you all my life XDD ♥/giddy giggles"

levin to aphmau: "where were you all my life. ☺/struggle & hint of animosity"

i think this is how the dynamic would go..........

im shit at putting my thoughts into words and all of this seems so much better in my mind BUT i hope someone gets what i mean :skull

#aphmau mcd #aphmau #minecraft diaries #zoey #levin #malachi mcd #levin mcd #zoey mcd #mommy issues lol #let the boy relax for 2 seconds before being reminded of his absent mother #garroth ro'meave #garroth mcd #garmau

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enden-k · 1 year

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I didn't look at the nick and I thought to myself "did someone wrote a fic based on this one frame in Enden's A/B/O comic?" and it took me like 3-4 reads before realizing it was you yourself.

And unrelated to that but I wanted to ask if there are any terms you don't like being used in your direction. Like for example if someone were to call you a man, or if there are any specific adjectives?

JABDJD it was me. just some guy

hmm well u can use whatever term for me. just dont call me a man. im just some guy but my gender fluids sometimes so when im not he/heeing my way through life its they/them. bc of this im not comfortable with being called a man/woman/etc so is better to just drop them in general

stuff such as king, bbg etc are fine tho

some of my friends use pet names for me, i dont mind these in general. however, dont ever call me "doll" please

#reply

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sirensea14 · 10 months

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HAHAHAHAHA MY AUUUUUUUUU

WHO'S YOUR ROMEO?

(dont mind the blurry letters above them, theyre descriptions of what they wear so i can visualize them--)

My Royalty au is originally called Julieta au (bcoz this is inspired of "Juliet" song by lipxlip which is the op song heroine run the show) and i switched it to 'medieval au' but doesn't suit it since Bendy's clothes doesn't match the era (and i have no plan on changing it cuz im too lazy WHAHAHAHA), so i changed it to Royalty Au, plus it involved kingdoms, knights, monsters, demons, angels, kings, queens, princes and princesses, magic etc. It was supposed to be a love triangle of us...

But then i added more characters

Here they are. And yes--MUGMAN HAS HAIR (ignore the arrows)

So here are their descriptions:

Cuphead the Ace - prince, prodigy knight of Calix Animi, foster father: king of Dish, King Kettle (or elder kettle behind the doors). He and mugs were found by Kettle when their house was raided by goblins, evil fae and elves bcoz of their potential magic powers. Kettle was a knight and king at the same time, he rescued them. Their parents are dead (not sure if it will be cannikin and demitasse from inky mystery) and so is the Queen, thats why Kettle vowed to protect people from monsters and is very serious abt it. He is the heir to the throne, his smaller twin brother is Mugman. Like King Kettle, he is also brutal towards monsters, he is 24 yrs old. He is infatuated to a woman who is queen of the oceans

Mugman the Beast Tamer - (beast tamer title is inspired by Cannikin) younger twin brother of The Ace, very close to king kettle, he has heart of gold, he has a girlfriend who lives by the sea, 24 yrs old

The Legendary Chalice - or Ms. Chalice is the general (or any rank called, she's a higher up) of the Calix Animi Knights. She was referred to as "Legendary" due to her skills and experience being so vast. She is 26 yrs old

Siren of the Sea - and that's me! (lol, cringe, ok lets do this in 3rd person pov) she is the isolated queen of the sea who rules every bit of seas and oceans. Seas sounds cooler that ocean right? And smaller too, so every kings and queens have underestimated her power. And also her looks, she prefers minimal jewelries and accessories, another reason for people to belittle her. Tho dont mess with her as she can get a little brutal when she gets angry. She likes the pacific ocean and atlantic ocean a lot. Specifically the Mariana trench, its full of monsters and leviathans down there. She had a stoned heart and always looked tired but she met 2 men who eventually softened her, tho she is torn between the Knight and the Demon, 25 yrs old physically, she was sitting on the throne lately, no one knew what her real age is

Cala Maria the Mergon (mermaid+ gorgon lol) - she is isolated as she is known to have gorgon blood. She was saved by a brave knight named Mugman so she gave him a metal ring with a chain holding a fish hook, she's happy seeing mugman wearing it. They had mutual feelings for each other. She knows Siren and is slightly afraid of her, tho she tries her best to befriend her. 26 yrs old

Alice Angel - sent from above, the princess of the Heavens and a healer. People always says that even tho she has horns. She has bright white wings which made her look more angelic aside from her beauty and kindness. She is vibrant yet calm and isnt shaken by Siren's cold attitude, instead, she always talks to her. Over time, siren seemed to respond to her. And thats when they began being friends. 25 yrs old, She is currently inlove with a wolf. And despite all her feminine traits, she won't hesitate to defend those in need when attacked, or help her friends who are troubled. She's a feisty Angel after all.

Boris the Wolf - a handyman who can do everything ; hunter, chef, play the clarinet, scavenger, messanger--anything u can think is something he can do. He is also a quick learner, thats why. He is close friends to a certain Demon and a lover to an Angel, 28 yrs old, he is calm and wise

(okay lemme explain this real quick--I ship Alice angel and boris, not based on Twisted alice and buddy boris, but rather on Tom Boris and Allison Angel. Theyre married in batim/batdr right? And theyre portrayed as Boris and Alice clones so i dont see why not--)

Bendy the Devil Darlin' or Bendy the Ink Demon - known as the Prince of Hell and next to the Throne, he has a playful yet dangerous attitude towards people, which made them fear him. They always obeyed his orders, and when something goes wrong well u might not like it. The only person who seemed to defy him was the Queen of the Seas, she perked his interest and somehow evolved into something demons cannot feel, love. He is 26 physically, but 257 chronologically, his race--Demons--has an ongoing cold war with the dishes

Holly the Sorceress - a character from inky mystery (i added her bcoz i love her so much), she is known as an archeologist, who continues to learn and discover the unknown. She loves playing with runes and runs a shop that sells potions, food and weapons that will help knights and adventurers alike. She's basically like a merchant famously known to play with dangerous runes. Enthusiastic, ambitious and curious, she is 23 yrs old (i aged her up a bit) and has a pearl necklace given to her by a mermaid friend, Cala Maria, when she helped her walk on land. She has her interest on Siren, a mysterious siren who acts cold. She visited her once to buy something, but she was busy playing with runes so she didn't get much hold of it, also she blabbers about how amazing runes and magic are despite her being a human. Whenever night strikes, she rides a broom and flies. She turns to a witch named 'Mayhem'. People say they were the same but some were defending Holly. Holly don't know about this either, so life continues. Little did she know that Mayhem is her Alter ego, she also has a magic cog from a mysterious machinery she has obtained during one of her digs (note: she only digs sites ALONE so this is her own discovery), tho it is very small.

(the Cog from inky mystery is inspired by the Gear in Batim/batdr, however in this au the ink machine does not exist--or might have been but crumbled to dust, anyways it does not serve something in the au)

Now the setting or place of it all? I dunno aesthetics but i like to imagine it as... Just ur usual generic medieval castle stuff, kingdoms. Also there are many kingdoms here, mainly:

Angels : hovering the sky

Demons: below(hell)

Dish : on land, apparently their land is huge and vast, but is surrounded by water

Sea monsters/leviathans: under the sea and oceans of course, full of corals

Normal humans (but they have access to magic) witch, wizards, animal toons etc : land, but separated from the Dish kingdom

For me, its hard to create kingdoms, but maybe i can get a sketch outta my head? That is if im in the mood

Some people of their races move or migrate to other kingdoms, for example, Holly moved to the Dish Kingdom.

I imagine this au to take place mainly on Dish Kingdom but i dunnoooo maybe it will be changed? Not sure

These are my thoughts abt it so far...

I may make some heavy art abt this (i mean, the FINISHED art and not a sketch one) tho im not sureeee since its hard to draw when ur using only a phone, and im drawing digitally using my thumb, but well i guess im gonna adjust myself, thank u for reading all this nonsense and make it up to the end. Ta-ta!

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mcl38 · 26 days

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bit obsessed with ur mercedes girl driver drawings. first of all because they r pretty. second of all because they r for sure the most interesting changed dynamics. lewis being one of the most accomplished drivers of ALL TIME and being a black woman?? from the 2000s - 2020s??? i dont even want to imagine the press attention. and girl!george is just delicious. terrorist/women-can't-drive jokes off the charts. would 100000% be called boring in the specific way that serious women are. pls give me ur thoughts. that is my fave girl drivers art mwah.

hi!! thank u so much!!!! first of all so very very happy u like my art!! ive rly been loving the new rule63 trend - if i were cockier id say maybe i had smth to do w it but the truth is i genuinely believe a lot of us woke up simultaneously and thought 'i NEED to draw or write girl drivers'

so then re: the story aspect of it. a fun fact i havent rly talked abt on here is that my girl driver series is actually inspired by an au of mine - thing is tho that my au is actually a sex swap, rather than 'always been a girl' the way ur suggesting. so like u bring so many good points and im sooooo eating devouring ur thoughts on what fem!lewis and fem!george would look like in the greater f1 circus narrative, at the same time that rly wasn't what i was thinking of in the first place? in my au uh. half the grid r accidentally cursed bc of a helmut marko interview in which hes asked whether a gender equality initiative like extreme e where the grid would b 50% female would work in f1 and he says 'in my opinion half of them are already women as it is' - hence the sex swap curse for 10 of the drivers. so while there IS a sort of attempt to engage w the patriarchy in my au too (the loose idea is that the drivers who r swapped r the ones marko believes to b girls / pussies etc, with max being one of them, and then the rbr inner conflict fully explodes bc it would) i didn't actually write it (& later on draw it) with actual female drivers in mind, especially not the way their history would b different if their gender was different

but yeah, that's pretty much what the context was - but bc the fic was too ambitious for me (at the time and to this day still tbh) i needed to channel that creativity somewhere else and started drawing a bunch of them instead. hence the series. which is why im loving that u guys r taking it to ur own creative destinations!!! so anon ik u came looking for answers but id love it for YOU to come back to my askbox (or ur own posts or fics!!) w ur own ideas abt fem!merc

#girl drivers tag #anon #ask #george #lewis

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tw1stedthicket · 3 months

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fuck me man. after going back through some stuff and really thinking about it, im ngl, i feel pretty happy with just calling myself sapphic due to really only caring about being with women and wanting to define my relationships in that context and not in a context of including or centering men, and i wouldn't even mind if someone referred to me as lesbian even if it's not the word i would use, but that'a the thing! there's a word called "gay" and newsflash abby, that's what only wanting women is, even if you worm your way around not being called a "lesbian"; but! i am really afraid to own that. It's like, okay, i'm afraid of using the word "lesbian" due to what i'm afraid people might think, but if i tell people i like women and do what i wanna do.. they're gonna come to the same conclusion. I know this is internalized homophobia which makes me feel even more shameful, but it's me being honest.

What sparked this thinking was how i found a really cute bracelet of the "woman" symbol with the circle as a heart and it was linked to another one to represent 2 women connected and love for each other and stuff and i was like omg i wanna wear that that makes my heart go soft 🥹 but then i was like no because if i do that then i really have to own it! Theres no longer any way i can be like "well...yes....um....you see this only makes me happy because i also have an attraction to women...it's not that i really really love them haha... i am also attracted to everyone else too including men!" And so i was like well maybe i can do like a little rainbow! I can always say "i just like rainbows" right?

But then it's like ah goddamit people really are gonna assume then that im not bi! But i dont want people to think im bi and i dont know how that fucking works! The thing is, is i dont think to myself anymore than i am bi, even tho sure, there are lots of attractive and wonderful men. But i feel like my inclusion of them in my identity is me being disingenous, it's me including them because i know there is a real possibility that i would feel attraction toward a guy enough that i want to be with him but in reality if i felt that way about a guy, the thought that they might like me back makes me feel afraid, because somewhere in my fucked up thought process i am thinking that means im gonna be with him!! I like him, he likes me, we obviously get together right? But i dont want that! If i could honestly flip a switch where no guy ever liked me romantically again and instead just wanted to be good friends or besties and the strongest sense of attraction they felt to me was entirely platonic, i would flip it immediately! I wanna be their friends so much more! Please save me that anxiety. Is it anxiety from having to perform gender roles for them and in reality if i deconstructed those then i would see myself comfortably being with a man? Maybe?? I dont feel like fucking doing that work tho anyway because the attraction i feel toward men is, and im so sorry dudes, is like... not worth doing the mental lifting for for what it would take for me being with them. I'm sorry, women are literally right there instead. And i dont feel the same baggage for them, just genuine warm fuzzies. People tell me "oh women are just as complicated and human and capable of being bitches! It's hard work either way!" Okay but i have never wanted a man bad enough that i would stick with it like i would with an amazing woman i loved, and newsflash there are a million fucking more of them than there are men. *IN MY INTERPRETATION* again sorry dudes. Thats not even just saying like all dudes are bad people or something to have to do labor for, i just have to jump through hoops to find who i am to them, you know? I get out of myself in every romantic encounter/relationship ive had with guys. Again, is it because i was raised with fucked up experiences of what men and women are supposed to be like or do? I dont fucking know.

If i had to honestly and truthfully take a guess, my guess would be that i am capable of experiencing attraction and happiness with anybody, regardless of gender, given that the relationship is equal and based on a genuine love and respect for both people. In the sense that perhaps there are always exceptions to every rule because the world is so fucking big and there will always be humans out there that could make you question no matter how much you like a particular type of person, but also because maybe some of my attraction to men, as anxiety-producing as it tends to be, is more of an inner thing and actually could be be appropriately healed and manifested in genuine good feelings toward him and a desire to be with him i.e. true attraction. And maybe the reason i want to pursue romance and love and whatnot with women more is because it feels safer. And maybe part of that is because i am a woman myself. Is that wrong? Is it safer because it's more genuine? Hey, i think so in the most charitable part of my brain, but the comphet part of me says "women are always just emotionally connected and intuitive with each other ofc it's easier for them to have relationships with each other! the connection is just all women tho!" but that just serves to devalue the genuine attraction i feel for women that is romantic and sexual and all that :/ Like stfu brain, i dont think most women actually desire relationships with other women and life partners and stuff and labeling it as "just girls and their casual soulmate status with their best friend 🤪" pisses me off. But at the end of the fucking day i know what my choice is! Am i being biphobic? Thinking it's invalid and i need to choose? Well my mind feels like it's fucking chosen for me and i like women!

I hate this because then it makes me really sad like goddamn this really is me huh and i know how people fucking act and treat gay people or lesbian people and it makes me really fucking sad. I was just thinking to myself and it was like, yknow, i feel like i really am in a closet. And i have tried on an outfit that i think i would really like. And i put it on and have to close my eyes to do it because if i open them im gonna be too scared to really look at myself and go through with it. So then i put it on and it feels different, but it hugs my body in ways that feel comfortable even when i cant see it. And when i open my eyes and look in the mirror, it is startling but not surprising, and a little bit awe-some, and theres a moment of recognition that...In my private mind, this is how i see myself. What i am looking at on the outside is what i see on the inside. What i always wanted to be, at least. There's a "Finally" caught behind your breath but it feels not quite right to say that, because how could you have known? I never would have had i not let myself actually...explore. Actually recognize, i guess. But i cant exit the safety of my room, my closet, my dressing room, whatever it is. People would say im a freak, they'd be disgusted, at worst. People might forcibly rip at the clothes or force me to change. People might say theres nothing wrong with it but it's inappropriate to wear in public. People might even say "wow! That outfit really is you! But...i dont like this you." And a million things.

I'm so fucking new to this, i only recognized and realized attraction, and i mean genuine attraction, to women just a couple years ago even tho i had been privately questioning it for longer, but. Damn. It makes me really sad to think of the women that look at other women who like women and dont feel the same comraderie because they think im gross, or a predator, or something. It hurts to think of anyone thinking badly of me, but honestly its the other women that would see me differently that makes me sad. If men wanna be mad then fuck them but it makes me really sad to think that other women would not like me or distrust me.. :(

#sorry for long post #i am just very upsetti spaghetti #questioning #lgbt #lesbian #sapphic

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fagmegumi · 11 months

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u not a lesbian tho ur bisexual

Okay so let me clear this up not even for the benefit of anon but for my mutuals who don’t know me irl and may get the wrong impression from it.

what i meant to say in those tags is that the reason i still feel comfortable going to women’s places in my current state of existence is that 1) lesbianism AND womanhood both come in many diverse flavors of gender experiences so to speak 2) ERGO even lesbians who are straight up cis women can and will be attracted to people with various kinds of gender experiences, both “internally” so to speak (‘identity’) and “externally” (various configurations of genitals, breasts or lack thereof, body hair, presentation, etcetc.) this isn’t the case for ALL obviously but its certainly the case for some. Like I personally know lesbians who know about my gender situation and would still fuck me lol im not even being prescriptive rn as you point out i am NOT a lesbian and its not up to me to say what they should or shouldnt do. Im literally describing reality. 3) as i exist right now, i am a person with breasts, a pussy, and a relatively feminine face (though invisalign is doing wonders on my jawline, werk!). To say that no lesbian who sees me in a bar dancing could possibly be attracted to the person they see is genuinely so far out of the bounds of reality it boggles the mind. Also this is neither here nor there but i don’t exactly consider myself a “man”, like I would never want to fill the social role of ‘man’ the way a cis man does. That’s why i call myself transmasc but not a trans man. If id been born with a penis and assigned male at birth and raised a boy etcetc, i would STILL want to socially and/or medically transition bc I simply dont see myself as a genuine 100% man the way i dont see myself as a woman.

If i ever do manage to get hrt and I acquire more masculine characteristics etc the situation will be different, like I wouldnt feel as comfortable going to spaces for women. Also I should specify that the bar i went to today does not call itself a “lesbian bar”, it is a bar for queer women of any sexuality (and their friends and allies of other genders). Not every single person in there was a woman, and not every single woman was a lesbian. Statistically in fact many of them were probably bisexual, and honestly assuming otherwise is lowkey pretty biphobic lol

lastly, i also want to specify that, even if im pre-transition and i look for all intents and purposes like a cis woman (something that makes my life hell in many generic lgbt places, where the general misogynistic and boys-club vibe makes it so gay dudes will tolerate me at best and assume im a ‘fag hag’) i still would never have sex with a lesbian without clarifying my gender situation to them first. I simply would not feel comfortable with that in fact the thought makes me pretty nauseous. But at the same time 1) i know (again, for a fact) there are plenty of people who use the label of lesbian who WOULD fuck me even after knowing and 2) i dont think grinding a little on a stranger in a bar you saw from a cross the room and found really hot, or even having a short dancefloor makeout with them, is anywhere on the same level.

#whatever im tired now. too many words #some of yall need to step back from the 21st cent social media fueled id politics and like engage with the actual lived texture of queer #experiences irl. do some queer phenomenology even.#merleau ponty voice the fabric of the world…#asks #anon

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technomancyshenanigans · 11 months

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hitting you with thos Prime Numbers

up in the fuckin' Ridorana Lighthouse over here. Aight Construct 7, here's the list!

Do you like to use the term queer for yourself? Or just LGBT, etc? I mostly just refer to myself as Queer! Just one of those easy umbrella terms lmao

Which pronouns do you use? she/her! I don't mind terribly when i get misgendered by close friends and relatives, esp since theyre used to other pronouns, and i havent been out that long to them.

Are you "out" publicly? more or less. im not out at my workplace, but i found out a co-worker is trans also, so its kinda nice to have someone at a place like work know, even if im not totally out to them. gonna be interesting once I Suddenly Start Having Tiddy tho.

Are you the "token" queer person in your family? oh 110%. every other family member i know is like almost comically straight. i am The Weird Bisexual Cousin Who Is Also A Girl I Think?

Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media? i honestly dont know of many (pls send recs im begging).

Do you choose to reclaim slurs, why or why not? not really?. i dont have strong opinions on it tbh, it really depends on who its coming from. if Hank in the lifted pickup truck, whos truck has seen more car washes than mud calls me a fag, im ready to throw hands. If my genderqueer friend calls me a fag, i know it comes from a point of respect and comedy. really just depends on the context i suppose.

Have you ever attended Pride in a big city/ large metro area? Yes!!! the first year i moved to where i live now (austin tx),l i went to my first pride event (it was a big parade!!) at like 25. moved from deep southern georgia (which didnt like My Type very much). Bought my first bi pride flag there, and its still up proudly on my wall to this day! :)

Do you feel safe and accepted in your local community? yeah, ish? i dont really interact with like the local community much. I do enjoy being like, a Total Queer at my work tho. ( I work at chick-fil-a, and like half the staff are queer lol)

Do you prefer loud parties or quiet? depends if someone has bud or not if im being honest. just vegging out with people watching dumb youtube vides is a whole vibe that i dig

Are you currently partnered, or if not are you interested in having partner(s)? i am horrendously single. i wanna go out for dates, but the whole "trans woman who doesnt pass unless they have 6 different layers of clothing and also a mask and makeup" makes it pretty hard.

Post a pic in your pride gear (or it can just be a selfie or anything else lgbt): FOLLOWUP POST INCOMING I GOT HAND-ME-DOWNS AND ITS REALLY CUTE!!!!!!

#.txt #im too high for this #have the rant i guess?#ANYWAY FOLLOWUP TO COME

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thatbitchsimone · 7 months

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I love you I love you

Thank you thank you

It’s a long story of circle of abuse, I used to save her from my father hitting her and few years later I had to save myself from both of them hitting me

I truly believe she’s evil, not what she does to me but to others also, she beats and humiliates not only me but the maids too, the other siblings are not beaten, the brother sometimes rarely but he’s her worshipper so i don’t think he minds.

I will get a job soon but I don’t think I can move out, it’s not very common here you know, and my father is like a influential guy, but hopefully when I earn my own money and cut her off I’ll be happy, we have a big house so living separately is possible.

I found out something today and it made me sick to my stomach, I have my whole life faced disgusting men, but turns out my brother is also one of them, he is after all my fathers and mothers son. he is an Andrew tate fanboy btw so you can guess his entire personality by that lolllllll.

I am so sorry this is alot of stuff to hear on a site where you are supposed to have fun, I am sending you apology hugs, take care 🫂❤️

Btw have you read the bell jar by Sylvia plath? It’s so depressing it’s taking me months to finish HAHAHAH

that is fucking awful and yes, i dont even believe in the whole concept of evil (i was raised without religion in a completely secular country + im very into psychology so good vs evil is not part of my worldview lol) but some behaviors even i just have to describe as evil and ur mom fits that pretty well like abusing ur own children is fucking evil. i have empathy for her to some extent since her behavior is clearly the result of her being abused herself like u said but it gets clouded by the absolute disgust and hatred and rage i feel for her for letting herself become the abuser herself and keeping the circle of abuse going by passing it on to her children. its one thing to not have the strength or power to stop ur husband from abusing ur kids, but straight up joining in on the abuse is a whole other level of disgusting and im so sorry u have to experience this.

but i do have to say that u seem like a genuinely good person like i really feel like u have so much kindness and love in ur heart and u seem like a very strong, sensible and intelligent girl and i get a strong feeling that the cycle of abuse is gonna end with u (as in, u wont be carrying it on and u will break free from it and if u have kids in the future u will be a good and loving mom to them) and i just wanna acknowledge that bc thats amazing and inspiring and i admire u so much like i just have so much admiration for u right now like u are everything u are the moment u are the vibe

anyway, glad to hear that u at least live in a big house so that u can at the very least have some space from her even tho u live together. i get that its not as easy or simple as some ppl think to ”just move out” especially if u live in a very family oriented culture where its not the norm to do so on top of it all so i think the best thing to do currently is to just kind of try to stay out of her way and honestly just not even listen to the bullshit she says bc her insults are kinda meaningless tbh bc lets be real, if u were skinny she would just use something else to criticize u for. she just wants to put u down in any way she can no matter what u look like. u could probably look like a damn supermodel or movie star and she would still find something to pick on and put u down for, bc she has issues. shes disturbed. her words are empty and her opinions on u are just completely irrelevant. why should u care if a deranged abusive sadist doesnt ”approve” of ur body and size? this woman thinks its ok to mentally torment everyone around her, even HER OWN CHILDREN that she just so happens to not just verbally and emotionally abuse but straight up physically abuse. shes a child abuser. actual scum of the earth. like honestly next time she says something about ur body or calls u fat or whatever this psychopath likes to call u just remind urself that this woman is actually disturbed and sick in the head like shes literally a terrible human being lol who the fuck is she to criticize anyone like ok so u got a little extra meat on ur bones meanwhile she is a deranged sadistic child abuser. like girl whatever flaw u may have is nothing compared to the flaws she has like u are so far above her in every way that actually matters like ur literally so much better than her in every way like shes actually pathetic.

sorry about ur brother btw. seems like us women can never catch a break from these male parasites that are crawling around everywhere these days. they just keep getting worse and worse now with all the andrew tate shit brainwashing them. thank god we women have each others backs in this vile current climate. sisterhood is so important, especially now with all this crazy shit going around.

and yes ofc ive read the bell jar! read it for the first time when i was 16 and have reread it a few times since then. its one of those books that deeply resonates with nearly every woman who reads it even now generations later like its truly timeless in that way thats why its so good

#ur amazing i love u

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tiktaalic · 2 years

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what always confuses me about the chad kennedy thing was how exactly was he expected to give a shit and why does what he said amount to a meaningful destiel wasn’t real? sera for sure queerbaited the absolute fuck out of us but he was a relatively clueless new suit with no creative stake which is what he sounded like. that it had never been pitched to him formally and that he wasn’t aware spn intended to be a show about The Gays in his corporate speak aka at least on a network level it doesn’t seem like they were intentionally stringing us along for the money and the lulz. the media packets post-debacle for the first time calling all of them straight for their orientation and Certain Episodes was suuuuch a mean dick move tho and truly biting us back and i always wonder what carver was intending to pull forward considering he still got away with the cain and collette thing. i categorize sera as a firm queerbaiter but i’m fuzzy on carver and i think dabb had his favorites in the room and doesn’t count either

it'll just never not be funny to me that he got into hours long twitter back and forth with people about destiel like. chad you CHOSE to do that. n those tweets are preserved all over the place he definitely did start leaning into But Who Knows! aspect towards the end of it all which is. pretty classic def of bait. but yeah 9.03 was just. such a complete and total awful mess ppl even tangentially related to the show said such batshit stuff about it. i may be making this up but i SWEAR there was a commotion about a writer or somebody engaging w somebody upset about 9.03 confirming cas as straight and saying well who says sleeping with a woman makes him straight or sthing. mess. i honest to god dont think sera was baiting i think she was writing gritty angsty has a body count one sided homosexual undercurrents on purpose. i think if you asked her the destiel question she'd say something about cas being devoted and loving to this guy who doesn't have time for him. andrew dabb is. yes i know boo hiss andrew dabb but i dont think its bait i mean. quite literally while dean was widowing there were closed rooms where they were handing people surveys that said dean winchester: gay or straight? so i think it was A Direction that was Being Pursued by his favorites like you said and then when push came to shove andrew went hey cmaaaan im just a little guy and dropped it. i have never and will never understand the machinations of jeremy carvers twisted mind.

#ask #anonymous #spnwatch

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carpathxanridge · 1 year

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hi luv pls ignore the separatism ask i completely clicked the wrong blog anyways, sorry to do this on anon im still a fandom main blog and dont care to have the pronoun girlies freaking out here

anon i love u but i want u to know that no matter how much of an idiot the woman is who that anon was intended for, it’s not a productive use of ur energy. i know sending a quick off the cuff message like that can feel quite good when someone’s being an idiot lol but people like that will never change their minds, ur right tho that separatists will keep on forming community with exclusively other women no matter who calls them shut-ins. i don’t know u but i wish for u to spend less time sending anons on tumblr and more time doing separatist action <3

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goldenhypen · 2 months

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okay

1. i was around 12? and i gave a reason abt wanting to focus on school (which was a lie bc back then i was acing my tests with or without having gigs.) in reality, i didn't feel appreciation and also no vocal lessons/exercises so of course i'm not going to sound as desirable as people wanted

2. oh i think i know one member? was he on boys planet? and if i'm correct, he has a twin🤔

3. okay, just how i described my vocal colors (or lack thereof) that is how i talk abt a bias, let's say. i used to write on fancafe but haven't for months now. i used to get the thrill of my letter being read by a bias. you can type out your letter but me being me, i designed and handwrote letters just to take a picture and post it there. i tend to get.. poetic?

4. i work an office job. calling (up) clients, verifying documents, doing statistics (my least favorite math subject and something i would rather not do bc it tends to get exhausting counting and counting. i don't have anything against it, it just is not something for me. and it's no fun when your coworkers treat you like you'll fail after every given task or 0.02 seconds after you are given a task and you might not ever be seen as your friendly neighborhood sweetheart (no hard feelings) but i don't mind coming off as mysterious or rebellious to them

-🧶

ah i see. that’s understandable

haha yes i think you’re talking about kamden haha but i believe 2 or more of them were on boys planet (ik there’s brian too) but kamden was def the most popular hahaha

ahhh i get that. no but that’s rlly cool tho i honestly love that

awww :( even tho i’m not in the exact same situation i can def relate to you on that on some level. like im doing web design rn and there’s aspects of it i like but parts of it are so technical that it doesn’t allow me to be fully creative yk? like i enjoy it but its not exactly my favourite or my dream job like how i thought it would be. also your coworkers treating you like that 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 omg that’s so rude i hate that sm. honestly hoping you get better coworkers soon ugh i feel that tho cuz sometimes im discriminated against,, not cuz im a woman, not cuz of my race, but cuz of my age :/ which ig i can understand their perspective but i just wish they’d give me a chance sometimes yk?? also coming off as mysterious/rebellious to them haha i honestly love that. you dont have to be nice to them or reveal all your cards. ESP when they treat you like that omg

#awwww ugh you deserve better ☹️😭#hoping you soon find a job that you enjoy more cuz having to do smth you don’t love is :((#and hoping you get better coworkers too 😭😭#you srsly deserve better :( <3 #em answers #🧶 anon! <3

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baggythebag · 1 year

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nethervillage mess chap 1

hi hi hi this is baggy and this is my first fic here :3 hope you enjoy it<;33

warnings: cursing,violence,death

3rd perso POV:

she woke up from her 34min sleep that's all she get for a couple of days sadly,but she doesn't mind since it make her more awake and ready for a fight,just in case, she forced her legs to move and get out of bed she went to the dirty bathroom the old owners didnt bother to take care of it one bit 'but who is she to blame them' though to her self .looking at her self in the mirror, sad,broken,tired ,and lonley thats what you will see on her face. ''Farah T.M. '' thats the young women's name , but people call them the angry shadow ….she had been hiding in this old building since the enemy is looking for her, and got stuck for 4 years in this disgusting place ,her11 years old self didnt find another home,but she would rather be here than under his control and none stopping abuse.

If you didnt know-which U DONT-this woman had been an agent for this man..lets call him Mr.S…., where she killed , poisoned,and kidnapped targets at the age of 9.we know it seem impossible but they had a power that made them seem like a strong human ,she did her job with cold eyes ,my life wasn't good before either: abusive father and a dump but kind mother wasn't the best ship that is ,so i ran,and i was forced to the join the KNE(KidNightEater)and today she'll try and escape this hell of a place she had to put a plan. this city known as nethervillage or the zombie land , is the most least safe place it's almost on an apocalypse, and its -Ohio like- state is going down with the lead of S. she stepped out the window with a backpack ready to jump out ,she gave a little confidence to her self , saying:'' the second i take a step out my life will take a new page a new beginning,a new-'' .gun shots.

Unknown POV:

'' target Farah #367 down ''she talked into the mic and turned my back and i calmly walked away from the body she was me , that Farah was me..in another universe of course! . ''I want a smoothie''Farah talked to herself'' I need to get the fuck out of here first tho-''

3rd person POV(againn)

with that being said she heard a growling noise behind her , she turned to her back and there it was a zombie running full speed at her, the strong women panicked and ran as fast as possible DONT GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS!'' she shouts while running but quickly corrected herself ''NO WAIT, THEY DO-'' .after the long run our hero ran out of ideas so she grabbed her gun ''I forgot I had this thing on me, damn'' she stopped and kneed down, pointing her bloody gun at the hungry zombie's eyes, shooting them ''enjoy being a blind little girl, or boy, or person don't care''. she took her cigarette out burning the tip of it and took a breath, she had to relax somehow, this was too tiring for her ''god that was awful, im late again'' .shadow arrived at the KNA base and put her clown costume on '' this clown wig is itchy can i get another'' asked the 15 years old girl hoping for something more comfortable, but the staff just ignored her like she was a crazy person talking to herself, Farah -angry and pissed- walked through the teleporting door they used to do their missions this time she had to do the ultimate task kidnap her old self they name them the o.children Farah exited the door and looked around carefully to not draw attention to herself, but she failed by stepping on a broken bottle of booze ''h-hmm…'' the bed twitched announcing that she woke that person.

welp this is the end for now :3 but i'll post chap 2 soon

SEE Y'ALL <;33 btw this is a little image of what Farah look like hehe

made with picrew

#story #post #ocstory #nethervillage #nethervillagemess #mystory #originalstory #Farah T.M.#farah #gore #violence #death #killing #fanfic #original character

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sanchoyo · 1 year

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I have a longass list of things I Want to Draw this Month (or, draw...sometime, if I dont get to all of them during this Month) and one of those things is redesign my old toxic mew mews. they werent related to my main tokyo mew mew ocs (like, with tokyo miracle or anything, i think originally i wanted it set in that world but ive changed my mind lol) rest under readmore bc it got Long

but it was a story based on a woman who's father was a rival of ryou's father when he was in america (but, like, her father was An Evil Scientist (tm) ) and years after tmm she takes over his work and makes an american tmm team bc shes jealous of ryou/has daddy issues etc (she lies and tries to say 'well theres left over chimeras HERE too!! but tbh she doesnt give a shit abt those/wants to even try to use them somehow) but she makes her team from a bunch of juvie girls who dont rly have a say in it and are told they can Be Heroes and are lied to more or less. (and arguably have pasts/problems that are way darker than anything canonly in tmm...so halfway to being a grimdark magical girl series lol)

theyre called toxic mew mew bc. theyre all named after plants that are very toxic to eat. and are stuck in a very toxic situation/relationship with each other. even back when I was making them it was framed like. this woman is evil to doing this to teens who arent dont have a lot of autonomy AND are victims of the american juvie system. and in the end the woman behind it is framed as a villain, not them (even tho they were poised to be fighting the original tmm team I think?) which. is an amazing thing bc i was like 17-18 when I was writing their story and back then i was VERY unaware abt social issues lmao. also i think I wanted to showcase what wouldve happened if ryou had been like. someone with bad intentions, how Wrong it couldve gone w the uhh. unconsensual human experimentation angle...

anyway. there were originally two teams bc once the main lady realizes the first team is weaksauce compared to the og tmm team in japan she goes and makes ANOTHER but im absolutely not redesigning (2) teams lol. BUT very interesting just rereading all these chara profiles from back then and I cant wait to sit and Redesign Them even if i never do anything concrete w them beyond that 🤔

#ok but in fairness to younger me like 70% of all my friends around that time/or back when i still went to school when i was 13-14 #had experience w the juvie system so i was AWARE of SOME of the fucked upedness of it.#but im like. astounded past me would go such a dark route #or maybe not. a lot of the original tm2 plotline is pretty dark and was changed #some of it still is!#a LITTLE fucked upness is ok if its balanced with Silliness i think. in my stories at least #sanchoyorambles

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nomina-verus · 2 years

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Hello, testing how to type read more on mobile

Plus, me reminiscing on things lol pls dont mind it and scroll past~

when childhood friend first brought his gf at home in b██████s, i was a bit saddened and lowkey jelly (and socially awkward bc thats just how i am) and also lowkey shocked bc so fast?? 😂

and they were already living together in t█g██t█y, and my aunt was going off about how the girl is lucky bc childhood friend is rich

sigh

good for them tho 👏 they're still together after 5 yrs and until now i dont think im over with what ive done in the past

I remember still texting to this guy way back and going "shit, i think i really really like him" and its the first time in my life that i have ever considered what my social standing is and all of a sudden the confidence i thought i had flew off the window

and everything felt too fast and too slow at the same time, and i did really want to talk to him more, i did really want to know him better, what ticks him off, what kind games he plays, his friends, his opinions, his standing in school --

then there came the thought:

what can i offer him? the things he had experienced are things i dont think i will be able to catch up with. all i have to offer is my tolerance for pain lol and even if we could be happy now, i dont think we'll be happy in the long run

then there came the thought: i am not the right person for him

im just way too complicated of a woman that even i, myself, find hard to uncomplicate. what can i offer you except my inner turmoils and insecurities and whatever sad past or heavy burdens im carrying? i ended up looking and regarding you so highly to the point i'd hate to see you stoop below just to reach my level. i think you are way too good of a person for me, so i cutted you off before things between us could develop and called you bro

then you got mad. for a split second, i was happy bc did that mean u also thought we couldve been more than just friends? and the other split second, is regret and shame bc "what the fuck am i doing?"

you did end up saying some hurtful things that made me realize what the consequence of my action meant. Later, you apologized, but I didnt. It wasnt really entirely just your fault. It was me who one-sidedly decided to end things. You will never know that.

Even until now, I dont know whether I did the right thing. Heck, whenever his name is mentioned, I'd always have an urge to hide. Honestly, please don't even look at me.

But, ayy, here we are now. You are with someone else for 5 years, and i really am genuinely happy that you found the right person for you. May you be blessed upon and continue being happy henceforth ✨️🙏

#nomina rants #now that this is out in the open #and i can somewhat explain to myself why i did things #maybe i can look at the guy straight in the eye the next time we met 😂#'wow nomina this sounded like some Highschool love flick'#thats bc it did happen in highschool 😂 but the guy was my childhood friend since preschool /lies down #aNYWAY dont mind this rant #i just like to look back and read whatever rant things i wrote on this tag #so i posted it here

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