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away-ward · 9 months

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Got some points to share :) What i dont understand the most is the fandom's hypocrisy of demanding emmy to be so accommodating to will despite her circumstances (even in the present) as if he was not one of the MOST PRIVILEGED WHITE MAN in his town or county, and most of the shit he got into was his own fault. He had old money WEALTH. Old. Money. Wealth. And he was also supported by the society AND institution, how is the fandom making him look like HE was the one who suffered most here? So much wealth that emmy didnt have, and yet he never spent a single cent to contact her again even after he saw her bruised and bloodied, yet the fandom expected her to come back to him? Like this guy prioritised his hurt feelings over her rejection rather than her ACTUAL HEALTH AND SAFETY knowing that nobody in that town gave a fuck about her at all. Will can spend all his inheritance and his mommy and daddys money on booze, alcohol, parties, sex parties, women, escort services, big cars, helicopter rides, YET he couldnt be there for emmy? Not even a call? A free email? Right. Sorry, but emory scott always deserves better to me, not will grayson. If i was emory, i woudve hurt her more ngl, im kinda vengeful with whiny bitches like will grayson. I cant stand him. I just knew that the reason why this fandom likes to pile on emmy because: 1. she admitted her fault and took responsibility of her actions unlike will, 2. She made it clear he didnt owe her anything (even when will himself said he shouldve staye) and didnt think she was entitled to will unlike will to emmy, 3. Its easier to sympathise over a sad white privileged guy after everything he did or didnt do to "his woman" because RoMaNce where if they can read about him simping about her in his mind, he was immediately ABSOLVED OF ALL GUILT AND WRONGDOINGS TO EMMY. But the devils night fandom is not ready for this take. Also because 4. when they said they like dark romance, they can only take shitty men like michael and damon, but hate it when the sex and gender was the opposite. My point is, its dark romance, if will can be shit, why cant emmy? Period. I dont even care if they get even at that point.

Thanks to this fandom, i thought about alex, this useless side character more than i had to so i had to. I'm also an alex hater through and through and i agree with a lot of anon and your points about alex here. In fact, i love the alex slander actually because putting aside some valid criticisms about how a lot of twitter dn fans are just misogynistic towards her because of their bias towards emmy, there are actually a lot of valid points why alexs character was just icky and you and that anon are the only ones that i have seen so far that have the same take as me. They like to dismiss our takes with "oh its an emory scott fans thats why, its the jealousy" like huh? First of all, why didnt yall talk about wills hypocrisy of sleeping around with everyone in a skirt but was jealous as fuck of damon and aydin bonds with emmy? Yeah, right. Second of all, even emory can be rational when willalex were giving her shit, just because emmy was emotional in those moments, doesnt mean she was irrational. She was literally kidnapped to an abandoned island with no one there to help her and will made it clear he didnt give a fuck about her and reminded her how she was nothing to him. Alex who was supposedly her "friend" wanted her to stay and help will as if she had no other job and responsibilities outside of will. Why would she stay? Shes not even rich, she gotta go back home and pay her bills. Stupid argument honestly. Tbh, My dislike for alex was not even because of her relationship with Will. They both owed emmy nothing, even em knew this. A big part of the fandom hates alex because of this willalexs take but i personally dont agree with this take tbh. Instead of blaming alex on this, the argument between alexemmy started because it was on will, and even aydin to a certain extent, for being a fucking loser of a man, and for pitting two women against each other.

But i also wanna just say to these people who defended alex palmer so much: lets not act as if alex never had a history of laughing at other women when SHE was being put on a pedestal, instead of someone else (especially with michael to rika in corrupt, and damon to winter in kill switch) either. Like rika, banks, winter, and alexs relationship started with misogyny. LIKE LITERALLY. Only alexemmys relationship started with a bonding OUTSIDE of being pitted against one another no matter how weird the circumstances was. Even then, theyre still just on acquaintances level yk. And i feel like alex felt challenged and angry at emmy in nightfall because she thought emmy was better than her (alex chose to believe because her shallow world had not allowed her to think about anything else as long as it justified her anger. She also probably was jealous and look at emmys situation and think emmy didnt have to do anything but all these men were going to jail for her, suddenly being her brothers and protective of her, bonding with the guys or smth like that, and later have access to so much wealth, ad compared to her who had been an escort etc., yet still she had nothing. Its totally irrationally personal, her anger towards emmy was not rational at all). Its the jealousy and inferiority speaking tbh.

Look at the way aydins ex, rika, banks, thunders bay people etc. talk to her? Like shit. Whether its in front or behind her back. Now did this misogyny happened for alexemmy's friendship? Nope! Best girl Emory Scott thats right! Even rika, banks and winter had slutshamed alex and other women with various degrees, but look at the way emmy talk about sex workers? (These girls too grew up with so much isogyny so understandably, they had to unlearn and relearn a lot. Theyre so different in nightfall, love that for them tbh). Like heavens and earth and i think its easier for people like alex to accept being treated like shit because unhealthy female relationship and rivalry was what she was always used to, and she always had to be the person to initiate being the "cool girl who'll just roll with everything", especially with her relationship with banks) that when she found a healthy and supportive female friend that didnt start like shit, and would ACTUALLY take her side instead of their man (will or aydin), she was kinda shocked and became stupid, not knowing how to react to it in a kinder manner. Its like a defense mechanism. Alex never rose her voice to rika, banks and winter, unlike what she did to emmy and its because she probably never felt challenged by them because their men still paid for her services so what can these women do much to her really + she never saw aydin took interest in them like he did with emmy (disregarding the manipulation aside, im trying to make people understand her possible pov). This is why woman should have healthy female relationships! No one wants to be like corrupt rika, pre-marriage banks/ winter and nightfall alex! No one wants to admit that alex too, just everyone else, had internalised misogyny. I dont think anyone ever noticed the nuances really, alex hid it too well, but it shone through in her lowest moments unlike emmy. Because when emmy was at her lowest, she never humiliate alex to step on her like what alex did to emmy in blackchurch or on the train, but emmy straight up attack will (verbally) because why would she attack alex? Will was the one who hurt emmy not alex. But aydin attacked alex, and its emmys fault that alexs man was shitty? She was so wrong for that. Emmy never even shame her throughout nightfall, so this only highlights how different emmy's character in this series. Ngl, i think only Emory is the true girls' girls in this series. *Side note, Alexaydin, sigh... such fucking cowards this couple tbh.

Wasnt it also mentioned in conclave that alex had a fall out with her ex's roommate and then she was labelled "the slut" as if the three of them were not being stupid horny college students together, but alex was the only person who be the bad guy. That must have caused a lot of resentment in her because then she just became an escort not only to support her education and lifestyle, but also to use it against aydin. How does that even compare to emmy's pain, honestly! Theyre literally not the same and the fandom always like to dismiss em's pain just because em looked at her highly even when the text in the books shows otherwise. Alex couldve quit her job anytime now, she didnt need the money anymore, she did it for personal fun, sexual liberation and revenge against aydin. And now that when she went through the SAME THING that she did to other women by laughing at them and got treated like shit back, wow suddenly, emmys seen as a bitch? Huh? Emmy never even laughed at her face or looked down on her unlike others, not even once in nightfall unlike rika, banks or even winter, so i believe alexs stupid shit in nightfall was really out of inferiority complex and jealousy. Like "shes better than me thats why i had to put her down" kinda complex. The hypocrisy was too much but i dont think anyone really noticed this. Thats why alexs character was shit to me because her arc was so??? Where did this misogyny came from? But then when i think again and piece her story from the start, it made sense because to a certain extent, alex probably had looked down at all these rich people (including women bcs if her ex roommate) with their rich problems and then she met emmy, who didnt fit in with these stereotypes she had about people of thunder bay, and she had heard a lot of good things about em from will prob, so her sex worker card that she likes to use against these people suddenly dont work anymore because she realised that she wasnt the only one suffering. She cant best her, so in her moment of anger, she had to step over emmy in front of everyone but really, it just proves how nasty of a person she is and shownhow ugly her jealousy can be. Thats why she couldnt argue back with emmy after. She fucked up, but no one really noticed this because her misogyny wasnt so blatant like those in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch. What i also dont understand is how she always talk as if she was a victim EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Her speeches in corrupt, conclave and nightfall just solidified alexs characterisation. I cant stand her tbh, all of alexrika conversations really rot my brain lmao, because they always give these two stupid friends talking about eveyrthing and nothing vibes.

Since this is dark romance, i can understand if pd wants to put a character like alex, or any women really to be shit, but alexs fans didnt have to act like the annoyance towards her was because people cant stand willalex, as if alex herself was a snow white who can do no wrong or something, when she was proven that she did, was shitty sometimes. Like her mary sue character was even worse than rika 😭🤣 And the thing is, if everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemens family. The fact that these women are their partners, everyones already guilty just by association, like what emmy said to alex in the train. So why put alex or anyone from dn, on such a high pedestal so much? (Alex is kinda Like kai in her morally right shit, but she just got more fleck for it). Even i admit that emmy wasnt always a nice girl either but i wasnt delusional like alex and her fans tbh. Ugh, so annoying. Hopefully the bonus contents we're gonna get by pd soon only has exclusive willemmy contents for willemmy. or i will riot!!

Yeah, some of the readers need to re-evaluate their perspective. But I really don’t want to convince anyone to see things my way so…hopefully they stay wherever they’re at. As I’ve said before, I haven’t involved myself with any of the discourse or in-fighting in the fandom, so I’m not sure what they’re arguing over, but it sounds like a waste of energy and time. I mean, I get it’s willemmy vs willalex, but…like. Ugh could you imagine making that the center of your fandom experience? Horrible.

You make a good point about the start of the friendship between Alex and Emory. I’ve never been…happy (?) with how it started, because it involved Alex making a whole lot of assumptions about Emory and being right…because she’s Alex and she’s always right…of course. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be Alex. And then to have that be the one night they spend with each other, and suddenly Alex understands Emory like no one else. She gets her.

How?

Oh, right. It’s Alex. Enough said.

The idea that Alex couldn’t process anything that challenged her justifications for her anger because that would mean she’s wrong about something. It would be an actual flaw on her part. And that her feelings for Emory were borne a bit of jealousy. I’d have like if her character and went farther in that direction.

I think for my part, I always considered Alex’s main motive toward Emory was knowing that Will was still in love with her and that Emory had the power and ability to hurt him as she had before. She was protective of Will – “her reflection.” It’s nice to see another possibility/side of it. You make a good point. I guess I never considered Alex feeling inferior to Emory. Emory’s background being different from the people she’s surrounded herself with, to then see Emory rise above that and carry on, leaving Will behind like she probably saw Aydin rejecting her, and suddenly seeing the way Will and Aydin react to Emory might have made her feel small and like a stand-in, which she is for so many.

I agree that it’s a little out of bounds to compare Alex’s pain with Emory’s.

You said she couldn’t argue back with Emory and I’m not sure of the moment you’re talking about but the first thing that came to mind was “that’s my shirt”…like, girl. Girl. Are we being that pathetic right now? But yeah. Alex’s “justified” anger was weak. And her framing herself as the victim was annoying.

“If everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemen’s family.” Yeah, exactly.

I had to put the book down and take a deep breath with Rika said “I had to remind myself we weren’t really criminals.” Or something like that. Excuse me, ma’am, but what? You’re not what now? Have you not been paying attention? You cannot erase the last three-to-four years.

Alex is like Kai in her moral superiority is not a take I thought I’d ever see but…there it is. Nice to see they have something in common.

I didn’t know we were getting any bonus content but you’re the second person who’s told me. I hope we get something good for NF.

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #will grayson iii #emory scott #alex palmer #fandom stuff #asked and answered 41

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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ooo thanks for sharing more about Huxley! He sounds like a pretty interesting character! Very sad and I hope he gets to recover, but it sounds VERY interesting that you (might, no expectations of course!) explore the morally grey aspect of his role in the family unit (dude that is like.. I l o v e the exploration of morally grey situations. that's my j a m)

He sounds kind of like what people were calling a babygirl lol. A little noodle of a man. Does he have a favourite food?

possible tw?

If you go for a reality that's uh, similar to our own and homophobia exists, you could add another layer to why Huxley didn't get/failed to get outside help if he had a husband? An extra layer of social isolation and worry, and perhaps manufactured paranoia? idk just some thoughts!

YEAH haha im gonna have a lot of fun making him SUFFER. And also making him be just kind of a bad person. I mean he's not irredeemable but! Yknow! sometimes you do shitty things and sometimes your a shitty father and you gotta live with that.

tbh i havent decided a lot of cultural stuff about this story yet, but I know it's gonna take place in a different, magical world, so not too much like ours in that aspect.

but if I had to make something up on the spot based on vibes alone, then I think that the culture that Groe and Maureno currently live in doesn't have a concept of queerness or cis-het-ness as we think of it. So people would be mostly chill, and if they weren't it wouldn't be for the reasons we'd think (have to think about this more though)

meanwhile where Etik and her family come from (which is a different country/city/city-state to be clear) there might be more rigid ideas of gender and sexuality.

I like the idea of both societies being like, gay and trans "friendly" as in generally accepting of those identities as valid compared to the world we live in. But going about it in different ways.

So Groe & Maureno's culture plays it very loose with gender and sex and relationships, which is cool but can make people feel lonely because they don't have a community or a word to really pin down their experiences. But they also don't feel "othered" so it's not too bad.

MEANWHILE the Allwile family come from a place where you can be gay or trans or whatever but you HAVE to pick out a box and people will nitpick you if you step out of line.

for example, identifying as gay and then being bullied into identifying as Bi because you said you liked someone of a different gender one time, or identifying as a trans man but having people question you about it because you like to dress "like a woman" (whatever that means in that context)

Like, what if the worst queer community discourse was the predominant social structure, I guess XD?? So kinda queerphobic and obsessed with labels.

BUT this is all subject to change. I'm just spitballing ideas here and I think that could be a fun way to differentiate the societies (among other fundamental structural stuff that I'm still thinking about)

i need to like, come up with a name for this cultures or something. Groe and Maureno live in the fuckin woods in a big ole' magical settlement that they sort of founded together hundreds of years ago.

and the Allwile family lives in like, a huge manor?? i think?? near a city?? i dont have it all figured out yet but they're rich.

#nnstuff #rambling #sorry this got a bit off track #ask #huxley allwile #homophobia #transphobia #queerphobia

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hopeididntscareyou · 2 years

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I went out with Alex today and it was really nice we went up a hill to see a good look of the whole town and talked for hours but before that we basically spent the day on a roadtrip and ate some korean bbq which he had for the first time. We talked so much stuff and I actually had a good time, its not like when I'm with Eric i feel uncomfortable as fuck he makes me fucking uncomfortable with all these fucking bizarre and clingy behavior. He even literally waited for me outside work last night thats some fucking stalker vibe shit right there but whatever i'll deal with him later.

Anyways, since I was talking about relationships with Alex i wanted to be honest that as an adult (i didnt want to consider my dating when i was under 21) I haven't really felt like genuinely caring for another person and feeling this special connection with people except for Donovan who was a different case and i wasnt even sure if i was just being delusional about the whole thing but talking about him made me realized maybe I still haven't really moved on, which is sad because it's almost a year and I just wish I didn't have to feel so sad about it. I dated around after Donovan but i just couldn't share with other people the same connection I had with him. i don't know if he's a psychopath or it some manipulative shit but whenever I was feeling upset he just had a way with his words that made me feel better its like he could read my mind and tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. Its that or maybe we share the same brain cell lol.. Well past is past and to be completely honest, I dont want to and I am not dwelling on why it didnt work out, but the reason i can't forget about him is prob because I talked to him about a lot of stuff that were important to me so I'd sometimes get reminded of some particular topic that we talked about and I would try to remember what I said so i would go reread them and it just pains me everytime because I never get to have those kinds of conversations with people anymore. I wished I didn't save all our conversations so I wouldn't have memories of them, but I just couldn't delete them. I mean I deleted his contact information but I just couldn't delete our conversations because they were really special to me. Not gonna lie I wish we'd talk again someday just as friends who could relate with each other and have interesting conversations with. Yes it didn't really work out between us but I don't hate him, I never did. He was a good influence in my life and I will always speak good about him regardless of how it ended. I know it sounds selfish because at this point im more focused on my own perspective than considering his perspective, but his point of view is just outside my sphere, i don't have access to it and its something i think i shouldnt be assuming or judging. Actually i had legitimate reasons why I felt the way I was, cause any woman would just feel insecure if they were in my position and its just up to them how they would deal with it. I guess i didn't deal with it in a healthy and mature manner and i had no excuse for that, but whatever the truth was, i dont know, but what matters to me now is that I did actually felt cared for and appreciated at that time, he was a good friend and a good influence so thats what im choosing to remember. I'm grateful because I've learned so much from my experience with him and after him. I've learned about myself a lot and i actually start putting an effort to be a better me and become a healthier person mentally, have a good routine and all that. Not for him mainly but for myself. Fuck, i've been actually crying while im typing cause its just makes me sad.

Honestly I don't think I would ever feel the same for another person again and I don't want to because I distanced myself from people emotionally ever since that happened. Also its just rare for me to meet people in general who are kinda like me, like there are just something different about them besides introversion its more about sharing the same core values and the nerdiest hobbies its really important to me, i like people who has their own brain but isnt like a know it all, people who think the way i do and hes just that kind of person, atleast thats how i thought of him and liked about him. Its really rare for me to meet someone like that. All the physical stuff like sex and looks would eventually fade away when you grow old and weak but good quality conversations dont, if i wouldnt be able to resonate with my partner then i knew i wouldnt feel the connection im looking for which is important to me. Its either I liked talking about myself or I enjoy listening to them more than me talking, but its different when i enjoy both and that really doesnt happen a lot. The only other people besides Donovan would probably Patrick, Paul and my bestfriend but honestly i slept on my bestfriend all the time lmaoo. Sometimes im too apathetic and neutral to care about other people's lives 'cause they just don't seem to picque my interest enough so i honestly dont really care that much. BUT YEAA I'll stop talking now cause i dont want this turn into a huge narcissism galore

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first-edition · 2 years

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Hard on Top

Spencer reid x reader smut

she/her/hers

Spencer mentions something about the act of riding during sex since someone let it slip that y/n is a goddess at it.

CW-spencer and y/n are dating, 18+, sex, intercourse, kissing, heavy petting, positional sex, smut, dirty talk, semi-sub spencer, p in v.

unedited work

Spencer walks into his shared apartment seeing his lover of 1 and 6 months sitting on the couch wearing fluffy shorts, his sweater,which is oversized and falling off her bare shoulders not showing any bra strap signifying shes not wearing one, while reading one of her favorite books.

"Welcome back mr reid." y/n says looking up seeing her boyfriend who hasnt been home in 2 weeks due to a case. He sighs happy too see her as he thought she'd be at work. "what are you doing home?!" he ask a large smile growing on his face.

"after the bombing the hosptial has been on lock down since yesterday they are permitting all staff and personell to stay home until the teams can re inspect it." she says and get up walking to him as he sets down his bag and jacket.

"how long are you home till?" he asks holding out his arms for her. she shrugs. "until i'm paged back." she says as spencers arms wrap around her waist hers go around his neck an thier lips meet in the long awaited kiss.

Pulling away y/n asks him the same question. "what about you? How long are you home?" she asks "till thursday" he says "hmm." she says "you hungry? I can make you something." she says turning away from him. spencers eyes lock onto her ass as its sticking out from the small shorts. as the sweater has been hiked up from the hug and kiss.

"i-i no...im okay i ate before the plane ride." he says moving his eyes away as she stops and turns back around knowing he was looking at her. How can you blame him being away from the woman he would do absolutly anything for, for a week. Thinking about her night after night for 2 weeks but having to hold himself back from thinking any more while sharing a hotel room with morgan.

"i wanted to ask you something actually?" he asks reverting back to his nerdy shy self playing with is fingers and stepping up to you feeling small dispite being several heafty inches taller. "mhmm?" you reply looking up at him noticing his nervous stimming.

"There was a man we interviewd his name is martin vizla." "Are you gonna profile me spence.. martin is my ex you know that" she says crossing her arms "No no i just...he mentiond you." "why?" she asks releasing the tension. "n-never mind." he says and walks to the other room down the hall y.n follows now intruged.

"hey?! No no you dont get to do that not mention an ex and then walk away whats wrong did he hurt you? Spence i dont care if he was talking shit about me-" "He said they way you can ride a man is better than life anyday...." spencer says sitting on the edge of the bed. y/n raises her eybrow. "And...you were wondering if its true?..." She says smuggly.

"well no but i-..why would you mention that outside of the case yah know its like a private thing.." he says "so you dont want me to ride YOU till youre begging me to stop?" she asks moving closer to him "no y/n i- What?!" he says looking up at her as she towers over him and begins to sit on his lap, lightly grinding on him.

"tell me spence...what else did he say about our...private things." she says unbuttoning his shirt "h-he said that...that.." spencer trails off clouded by you touching his chest and moving down to his belt.

"dont trail off on me now spence i wanna hear the whole story." she says kissing his neck undoing his belt and running her hand on the the colth on his jeans covering his now hardend dick.

"i havnt seen you in 2 weeks..." he says his hands moving to her waist "did you touch yourself? I saw how you looked at me a few minutes ago." she says looking at him "no..morgan was in the way. sharing a room and all doubling up." he says "mmm you just what stayed hard all night?" she says moving close to him lips grazing across each other when words spill out "yes." he replies.

y/n chuckles "to bad...i had a little friend help me." she says glance to the drawer where they keep thier sex toys. This annoys spencer that he had to wait and she got what she wanted. his hand shooting up from her waist to her hair pulling her hair back exposing her neck as y/n lets out a moan.

"wasnt as good as you though." she lightly whimpers out. spencer lets go of her and stand picking her up her legs around his waist and turns layign them on the bed kissing her.

moving from her lips to her neck he leaves the marks hes wanted to for ages. brusing up her neck as his hands pulling up the sweater enough to expose her breasts squeezing one and sucking on the other causing her to moan quietly.

he pulls off his shirt and her sweater kissing down her stomach and pulling off her shorts and panties. Pulling her by her legs he engulfs himself to her cunt and drags his tounge along it and begins to eat her out legs over his shoulders his left hand holding her down to him and right massaging her breast. y/n throws her head back a moaning mess.

"SPENCE AH ngh.." she gasps out her fingerings running through his hair.

"Fuck pl-please..." he pulls away sitting up taking off his shoes and pants springing his erect cock out to y/ns licking her perfect huge dick laying at her entrence pulling him down to her she kisses him tasting her self on him.

making out he bites her bottom lip pulling back leaving it dragging in between his teeth. "turn around im gonna show you what martin was talking about." she says and pecks his lips getting off her they switch poistions and she gets on him feeling his dick lightly hit her ass.

her hands run up and down his chest across his v line. reaching back and taking him in her hand she sits up slightly and positions it pushing him into her causing her to whimper a bit as spencer holds her hips steady as she adjusts.

leaning forwords a bit she begins to rock her hips against him.

moving up and down while basically twerking on his dick all spencer can do is grunt and moan as the amount of pleausre surges through him looking at y/n who pushes her hair back he pushes he down fully covering his dick and begins fucking her himself roughly thrusthing his hips up to her. "louder love i cant hear you." he says his hand running down her chest feeling his favorite part on her. "ah ah spencer.." she moans tightening around him "what? you like that? You like it when i fuck your pussy like that?" He says

"mhmm." "Use your big girl voice." he says "AH Yes." she replies. he pushes her over still in her. laying on her back helpless in lust and love with spencer she rams her over and over. her nails run down his back scratching and scraping at his wild movements tearing up from the intese plasure her mind goes foggy as the same amount of pleasure serges through spencer. "FU-fuck y/n...ah shit.." he curses as he twitches in her.

Skin hitting skin y/n throws her head back in pleausre and back arches as he holds her waist down onto him making sure she doesnt pull him out of her. "Ah- fuck spence, babe ah-" "Cum for me huh cum" he says pulling her arms back and pushing her hands in the bed as she realses her climax. The clench of her pussy around him is enough to make him cum after her with a moan of his own.

panting and shaking they begin to relax. he pulls out of her and kisses her lips and then once again moves down her body leaving kisses on her neck and chest and stomach.

instead of going down on her again he get up and walks out to the bath room turning on the warm water and saoking a wash cloth in it.

coming back to her and running the cloth along her cunt cleaning up the mess he ment he throws it in the hamper across the room. holding out her arms for him he move over her kissing her fore head as she wraps her arms around him smiling at the kiss he pulls her into he cuddling.

"i guess martin was right.." He says y/n giggles looking up at him as he kisses her forehead again and she nuzzles against him leaving him to chuckle and hug her tighter.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer smut #criminal minds #spencer x you #spencer ried #drabble #smut

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tj-wrote-things · 3 years

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𝐇𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝗼

Nikolai Lantsov x fem!Grisha!reader

Based off of this ask

A/N- Hey besties, this is kinda late,, and i hate it but only a little bit. Can you guys like -stop requesting arguments??? pls its breaking my heart.

Mega thanks to @itisroe e for being my editor and shoulder to whine on :)

*Id like to take a moment to say that Nikolai is a bit of a dick in this one, and id like to reiterate that its never okay to invalidate or insult a so. I dont condone that type of behavior, im just writing it

enjoy:)

•

If there was one thing Nikolai Lantsov knew how to do, it was pout. You caught him— more than just a few times— slouched over on the blush red couch with his arms crossed, face smushed into a scowl as he studied you packing your bag.

You sighed, casting an increasingly irritated glance at him as you folded the coarse cloth of your winter coat and tucked it away with the rest of your belongings. The weight would be too much to bear, but you knew it would be cold up north where you were headed alongside Zoya and the Bataars.

“I’m leaving at dawn, whether you like it or not, Sobachka.”

The King looked away briefly at your words, hating understanding that you were right. He hauled himself out of his seat and redirected his sulking to the world outside the large window. It was beautifully blanketed in steadily falling snow.

“Will you really make our last night together a bitter one?” you commented.

“It wouldn’t be our last night if you’d just let me come with you,” Nikolai huffed.

You exhaled, dreading that this would be the third time you had this discussion, which, in his world, was more so a debate.

The reason was simple: Nikolai had no business accompanying them. The objective of the mission to Fjerda was a peace treaty between the Drüskelle and the Grisha populous. As Nikolai fit neither category, it had been decided that he would stay back and continue to hold the country together.

“We’ve been through this: to bring more people on the expedition would only irritate the Fjerdans. Especially, the king of a country with which they’ve been at war for a considerable amount of time,” you reiterated.

Nikolai shook his head again, unwilling to accept it. He refused to welcome the fact that the love of his long life would be away and in perpetual danger for weeks.

The wind whistled as it bounded against the window, filling the room with a violent creaking.

“It’s dangerous, Y/N, why can you not understand—”

You cut him off swiftly as his voice began to rise, “You watch that tone, Lantsov, or I’ll—”

Now, it was Nikolai’s turn to cut you off: “You’ll what? Leave early?” The young man turned to you from the window and met your incredulous gaze. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. We both know it's your only vice.”

“My only vice,” you mocked cynically. “In what regard?”

Nikolai spread his arms patronizingly as if he were explaining the obvious to his childhood self.

“Your heart craves adulation,” he said, pointing a sharp, accusatory finger your way. “You’ll take any opportunity to leave Os Alta— leave me— and flaunt your gifts.”

Your heart thudded heavily in your chest. In anger or despair, you could not tell.

You would not lie to yourself. You knew with all your heart that, all things considered, your mastery of the Small Science was a blessing, hidden behind the mask of a devil. In the days you served faithfully in the Second Army, your gifts were revered and you were respected in the highest regard amongst your Grisha peers. However, in the years following the war, you became like everybody else.

It was at the behest of your husband that you progressively began to use your power as an Inferni less as the days passed. Ever the political mastermind, he had approached you one summer evening and begged you refrain from using your power in public, claiming that the presence of a Grisha Queen was too much for his fragile country to bear. In the beginning, you had agreed, for if there was one thing that surpassed your love for your husband, it was your shared love for Ravka.

You knew that relations between the Grisha and the others were strained, and so you agreed, taking your husband's hand and promising to limit the displays of glowing orange flames which had burned your enemies as well as warmed the hands of your allies.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to train behind a closed gate, under a roof, beneath the watchful eye of First Army guards armed with fire extinguishers. In fact, it had grown so stifling you had begun to resemble Alina Starkov when first she came to the Little Palace, with her pallor skin and brittle locks.

You brushed the aforementioned hair, now soft and healthy from the effects of tailoring, behind your ear as you placed the brush down and sharpened your stare at Nikolai’s face, shrouded in silver shadows from the icy light of the moon.

“Craves adulation,” you grumbled, knowing that if your voice rose any higher, it would betray every emotion storming around your heart. “Have a look in the mirror, Nikolai, and tell me which of us truly fits your description.”

His description, in all its insulting glory, fit Nikolai Lantsov to the tee.

Nikolai Lantsov, who would smile and wave to a crowd with a Sun Summoner on his arm, allowing you to watch with disdain from your place on a horse beside Mal. Nikolai Lantsov, who would hide behind a pair of gloves to escape the truth of what he had become. Nikolai Lantsov, who had pushed his wife into a state of sickness, albeit unknowingly, sacrificing her life’s blood for the sake of his country.

Nikolai Lantsov, who resolutely shook his head, running a hand through the already dishevelled hair on his head, before waving it dismissively, as if swatting a fly. “Please. You’d flick your hands for anyone who’d ask— if they clapped hard enough.” Nikolai moved for the bookshelf, drawing out a novel as if his words were mere small talk with an old friend.

Your anger blurred to shock. “Flick my hands—”

“Honestly, you take every opportunity to flaunt it. I’m surprised the Little Palace is still standing after having you inside for twenty years!”

There was no sense to his vile declarations now. Though, Nikolai could not see it. The anger, betrayal, and frustration at being left behind were all that clouded his boyish mind as he hurled one unkind word after the other.

“Nikolai,” You moved towards him, arm outstretched, eyes beginning to water. “Lapushka, please—” As your hand approached his, the storm heavier than ever. He wrenched his arm away from you, leering his head back to look you in the eyes.

“Truly, I can’t be sure why you haven’t left already.”

“For saints’ sake, Nikolai. Look at me!”

The dam broke as you flicked your hands, removing the tailoring to your appearance, unveiling the truth of your restrictions.

Nikolai stared with an open mouth and hard eyes as the warm winter flush of your cheeks was replaced with dulled skin, and the sleek shine of your hair was redefined with a brittle and unkempt bush.

“The only person from whom I crave adulation,” you whispered, “is the only man who’s too thick to look past a wavering mask.”

The Lantsov King swallowed, flipping the book restlessly in his hands. “Y/N—”

“Get out.” You left no room for him to argue, even when he opened his mouth once more. “I said leave!” You stalked to the door, pulling it open with a loud shriek of wood. “Now.”

Nikolai Lantsov, who spent the night in a guest room, in a state of perpetual regret.

No amount of tossing and turning brought any comfort to his aching heart, nor his pounding head. He flopped halfheartedly in the guest bed, stiff from lack of use, and from lack of you, revisiting the disgusting words he’d spat. The reason for them, however unjustified, sat heavily on his chest, suffocating him at an agonizing rate.

Nikolai Lantsov, who was afraid that— like his mother and father— you would grow to resent his blood, resent it for its stark difference to yours. The fear that you would regret your marriage to what your people called an otkazat’sya: the abandoned.

The King figured it was only a matter of time before the title served him fully.

It was reasonable, wasn’t it? To lash out at a time of vulnerability? Nikolai couldn’t be sure, having grown up in a family of despots who had never given him the time of day when it mattered most.

Watching the tailored facade fall from his wife’s face, Nikolai was reminded solely of his mother, who, like you, was coerced into moulding her face into that of the perfect queen, at the behest of her husband. He knew then that all he had said and done was wrong. Wrong to her, and wrong to her people.

How could he bring himself to apologize? To walk into their bedroom and beg forgiveness? Would she forgive him? Even if he stooped— a king in tears and on his knees for the woman he loved perhaps more ardently than the country he vowed to govern— would she, in all her scorned glory, crouch beside him, take his face in her hands, and kiss away his regret?

Could he expect her to?

Dawn came around all too swiftly, rousing husband and wife from their fitful sleep in separate rooms, and with it came your departure to the northern lands.

You stood side-by-side with Nikolai as the carriages were loaded with provisions, luggage, and gifts for the Drüskelle, refusing to look at him. Instead, digging fruitlessly in your shoulder bag as an excuse to keep your head down.

The call came from the footman as the time arrived for you to leave. You didn’t make it more than one step forward with your hand gripping the leather strap of your bag before a firm grasp was on your waist.

“Wait,” whispered Nikolai, tugging you back. He cast a glance at the guard, letting him know that they would need a moment. “I can’t let you leave— not like this.”

You held your gaze to the floor. Gently, he tilted your head back up with his thumb and forefinger. “Not now, not when you can barely look at me,” he continued. You held his stare as his hand shifted tentatively towards your jaw. “Not when I can’t be sure you won't come back to me, Milaya.”

You sniffled softly at the nickname, moving your own hand to his face and pausing to tuck away a loose golden curl.

“Please come back to me,” he said softly as if he were sharing a secret. There was an unspoken apology apparent in his reddening eyes while the seconds ticked by.

“Of course,” you murmured back, tipping his head down as you pecked his brow, then his cheek. “Nikolai, there’s not a thing in this world that could keep me away from you.”

You kissed him soundly, your hand running across the expanse of his jaw as he leaned into the tender forgiveness settled in your palm. When you broke apart, Nikolai took your hand from his face. He kissed your palm and walked you to your carriage. The King watched with concerned eyes as you took your seat.

Nikolai kissed your hand once more from his place on the ground and looked up at you. “Swear you’ll write,” he said. “Or I’ll crash the proceedings.”

You barked a hearty laugh, squeezing his hand as he tried to let you go. “I will,” you promised. “And I’ll see you when I come back.”

It was another moment before you let go of his hand. His palm hit the carriage door bearing the Lantsov crest. You watched as the carriage travelled further and further away, Nikolai’s frame disappearing into the horizon.

“I promise,” you whispered.

•

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bakugohoex · 3 years

Note

I’ve seen the Jean x reader in Marley, and it was really good, so can you do a levi x reader in marely as well pls🥺🥺🥺

“i always notice you, y/n”

pairing: levi ackerman x female reader

cw: fluff, violence, kissing, language, season four spoilers

word count: 2700+

a/n: hopefully this shows up in the tags if it doesnt i dont know what imma do, but anyway hope you guys like it and enjoy this, this will be my last fic for this year, i hope you guys enjoy tonight and have a happy new year

summary: in which you and levi are undercover doing reconnaissance in marley, want turns to stalking different marleyans leads to feelings being brought out from the two of you

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

The sound of Marleyans seemed to flow out through the streets, you had all separated from each other on arrival to Marley. Eren having wandered off himself and his arrival to Marley having shocked you all, making you all come to Marley yourself. Even after all these years with the new group of adults they were still the babies you remembered meeting with Levi.

You had been in Levi’s squad from the beginning, being his second in command so whilst the rest of your squad got massacred by the female titan you had been with Levi and Erwin. Levi wouldn’t admit it, but he was glad you had come with him that day, he was glad you didn’t die on the countless scouting expeditions that occurred.

The bustling of propaganda engulphed you, hearing Levi come through a door of where you were staying for this visit. To the outside world you and Levi were just a happy couple starting afresh in Marley, but you and him both knew how a downfall was evidently going to occur.

He chucked the newspaper on the bed that you both had been sharing, you had both learnt how to sleep beside each other without touching each other, the way you wouldn’t face each other when you fell asleep. A silence arising at night, you loved the man, of course you did but he loved being a scout more and you, you were always going to be his second in command and nothing more.

“More bullshit.” You mutter straightening out the dress, it was floral and disgusting to wear, you had been too a custom to the cream trousers and brown jacket that a dress felt unnatural. He wore a black suit and white shirt, the dress shoes looking even more older in the many years he had had it. He had disregarded his mother’s ascot many years ago, but you missed the look of it on him.

“You know what they’re like.” He spoke expressionless watching you put the necklace around your neck. “You ready for this hell.”

You nodded, his dull grey eyes skimmed up and down your body, the way the dress hugged your frame and made you look youthful and content. But he knew the truth, knew that behind those eyes of yours there was murder and deceit.

He watches you walk up to him putting your hand out, he grabs it without hesitance as you both walk down onto the streets. Hanje had told you both about the midday market where announcements were heard, you knew that a war was occurring with how Eren had easily been motivated to infiltrate Marley without your knowledge. He opened the door before you, the smell of chamomile hit your nose, the wind making your hair sweep in front of your face.

He saw you trying to get rid of the hair from your face, he doesn’t speak grabbing your hair and the elastic to keep your hair in place. He easily ties it, stray pieces framing your face, it was a shock that led to the red to brush across your cheeks and nose. “At least now you can see.”

“And I thought you just wanted to touch my hair.” You mock out.

He looks at you which makes you turn to not face him, “Your hairs nice.”

“Umm… thank you.” You felt your face redden even more, his gaze moving up and down your body again, you quickly spoke to leave this situation, “let’s go.”

He nodded before taking your hand again, you both walked past the Marleyans, you didn’t have the Eldian arm band making you look like them. But you really weren’t, the way you acted, walked it was something new and different. “This is the place Hanje said to go.”

You nod, looking to the floor, people barging past, clearly common courtesy was dead in this place. You stand with a crowd, all their faces meshed as if it was just you and Levi watching the one man speak.

“My Marleyan brothers and sisters, today marks the day our hero Helos saved us from the devils of the Eldians.” He continued spewing out bullshit, people cheering and happily listening along. The grip of your hand tightened around Levi’s.

“Stay calm Y/n.” Your name fell from his mouth with comfort, it was sweet and your whole demeanour changed.

“Yes sir.” You say, turning back to the fresh out of the cadet corps.

You remember meeting Levi on your first day in the survey corps, your fresh face and innocent eyes made everybody believe you were weak. You had been shouted at by one of the cadets who had trained with you, he knew you weren’t weak but was trying to impress the captains around him.

He went to grab your shirt, but with ease you kicked his stomach. He jolted backwards ready to throw the first punch, the captains not daring to make a move to see what was about to happen. You smirk sadistically, he went in for the punch, but you easily dodged and grabbed his arm putting pressure on it. He fell to the ground below you before you kicked him in his face making him fall to the ground.

A man twice the size of you, a man who had gotten 2nd spot had gotten defeated by you. The girl who had beat them all, the girl who achieved 1st easily. “Whose she?” Levi asked to Erwin who had come outside.

“That’s our new recruits, and our number one spot Y/n Y/l/n.” Hanje had instantly come over asking if you were some sort of god. You made friends with her quickly, but Levi had kept an eye on you after that moment. He knew as soon as he saw you kill three titans on your own that you were going to be in his squad, you would be his second in command.

You had grown closer to Levi over the years, he trusted you as much as he trusted Hanje, maybe even more. You heard his life story, talked to him about your problems and issues, your life and most of all. You both knew what the priorities were, and it was to kill titans. But here you were the years of loving a man who didn’t even glance at you twice.

The man kept speaking and rambling, Levi had lost concentration on the man. He looked at your facial features, the way your eyebrows knitted every time devil was brought up. Or how your y/e/c eyes had murder rushing through the pupils, he saw the years that had taken a toll on you. But all he could see was the girl who had broken the nose of a man twice her size. He smiled before looking down just as you looked at him.

His hair covered his smile and soft eyes he had just had for you, even after all these years you had stuck by him. You had been there through it all, every decision you had been with him to make. As long as you were alive then he knew you’d both win against the Marleyans who were the true enemies of the Eldians.

Loud roars made you both get out of your thoughts of each other, the speech had ended and you both had left. The whole point having been to listen in but instead you both had ignored it all. “Do you remember what it was about?” You question.

“I was thinking about other stuff.” He doesn’t continue not elaborating on the other stuff, most likely of a plan that he and Hanje would have to think up.

He takes you down an alleyway, the opposite direction of where you were staying, “are we not going back?”

He was in front dragging you along by the hand, he looked back to you, something different in his grey eyes. His mouth was almost in a smile as he continued to drag you along, in those second she had looked back to see you he had seen warmth.

“I overheard one of them say that another event was occurring.” Of course it was about the mission, you didn’t speak just following along.

The alley led way and you were in an open area; you saw the streets filled with merchants and businessmen. Noticing a tower you see it to be a watch tower, it looked beautiful, maybe there was some pretty stuff in this hell hole. Levi watched your eyes skim through ever intricate detail of the building. Seeing people go up and down it he took a note of where it was and how easily it would be to get inside after dark.

The event was another propaganda event, people cheered at the hatred of the Eldians, even throwing bottles of alcohol at some Marleyan children who had come back from war. You looked at them, they had something to them, one stared directly in your eyes. You dismisses the blond boy and his group of friends, listening to the speeches.

Hanje had told you and Levi to go to as many of these events as you could, just to hear the hatred. It felt like a stab in the neck listening to the many speeches, but both you and Levi had gotten distracted by each other.

Your soft fingers had been entangled in his own for hours now, your thumb occasionally rubbing up and down his finger. He hadn’t felt this type of love in years and it was coming from you, the only woman who could handle and stick by him.

You both were at the final event ready to hear the countless indoctrination to what felt like the one hundredth time today. You felt a wandering hand touch your other arm, it instantly made you flinch, making Levi look at you. He noticed the Marleyan man behind you, his hand moving closer and closer to your body.

You were at the back luckily if you started something nobody would notice. “Come on sweetheart, let’s go get a drink.”

His voice filled you with disgust, you were ready to knock him unconscious before you heard Levi speak, “she’s with me.” It was with an unamused tone and he didn’t give the man a second glance.

“What’s a pretty woman like you doing with a shortcake like him? I’ll show you what its like to be with a real man.” You gave the same look Levi had given, you had to give it to the man, the nickname was funny. You looked at Levi, waiting for a sign for you to kill the man.

“Let’s move this somewhere else.” Is all Levi said, taking your hand, the man followed stupidly. He took you to the alleyway, looking at you with no emotion.

“You want to give me and your girl some alone time.” You looked at disgust at how he was about to reach for your arm, just as he skimmed his touch against your bare skin. Levi stood between the two of you. “Move it.”

Levi didn’t speak, staying in the spot in front of you, “I said fucking move boy.”

“Let me do it.” You whined out knowing Levi was going to punch him.

Levi ignored your childish moan to have some action and instead punched him square in the nose. He really was humanity’s strongest solider, with that one punch the man was down. “He’s not dead, is he?” You question kicking the corpse.

“Come on, don’t touch it.” He says grabbing your hand, you oblige, rubbing circles around the bruises knuckles. He watched you bring comfort through the pain; the man had had such rough face that it felt like punching a titan.

He didn’t need to have punched him; he could have left you to do what you wanted. But he had touched you, he had tried to make a move on what was his. You may have not known it, but nobody touches what he owns. Nobody touches what was his.

The night had fallen, the stars dancing through the blues and blacks of the sky. You looked up seeing the beauty of the stars whilst Levi looked at you noticing the beauty that you had. You were about to walk in the direction of the street your accommodation was, but Levi stood still.

“Close your eyes.” You looked at him in confusion. “Just do it, you damn brat.”

You laughed at the word before closing your eyes, you felt his hand move to your shoulder and elbow. Directing you past the people, you could hear mumbling, but you trusted the man to not lead you into a wall or the river for that matter.

He let go feeling like it was your cue to open your eyes, he quickly put his hand around your face. He could feel your eyelashes brush against his palms, “I didn’t say you could open them.”

“Sorry Levi.” You mutter, he loved hearing the way you said his name, it was enchanting and almost seductive. He let go of your face, you missed his touch, as you stood with the wind blowing through you. You undid your hair tie letting your hair cascade onto you whilst you waited.

You heard something being broken almost like someone kicked it. He takes your hand whilst you keep a tight grip on and start walking you with him. Your hand brushed against the cold brick, Levi keeping a hold of you making sure you didn’t fall.

The air hit you again, it moved through your hair, Levi admired how beautiful you looked up in the air, the dark sky up for you both to see. “Can I open my eyes now?” You give a soft chuckle.

“Yeah.” He speaks, your eyes adjust to light coming from the moon.

Joy, happiness every emotion of love was felt through you, you turned to look around the watch tower you had been looking at a mere hours ago. “You noticed.” It was a whisper hesitant that he might have just liked it himself.

He leant against the cobble and brick, his gaze flicking between your face specially your eyes and to where you were looking. “I always notice you, Y/n.”

Your heart panged, he started to walk towards you, your back against the brick, the sky in your eyeline. “It’s amazing.” You whisper.

“You always did love the sky.” He mutters it, enforcing the idea that he had always paid attention to you. He knew everything about you even if you didn’t blatantly tell him.

“I…” You didn’t know what to say, instead trailing off, he had gotten closer to you, he undid the first couple of buttons to feel the air that blown through your hair.

You looked up to the sky, not meeting his ever-growing gaze, “look at me.”

“Yes sir.” The sir seemed ever more sexual than usual and you looked him dead in the eyes, his gaze flicking to your lips and eyes.

“Since the first day I met you, I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” It was out of character for the emotionless captain, but your eyes had become soft at his confession.

“Re…really?”

He looks to meet your eyes directly, “I love you.”

It was the three words you needed to here to grab his hair, pulling him towards you. It was messy, lips smashing together, teeth to teeth, it was long awaited and needed. He grabbed your waist bringing you closer to his body, rubbing circles around your sides. A soft moan came from your mouth, it was heaven to his ears, you had imagined kissing Levi in every possible scenario. But this, this was something new and unexpected and here you were kissing the man who you had longed for.

The man who you had spent countless nights dreaming of the man who had saved you countless times. Who had held you in the air past the titans so you could leave the final blow.

His hair wrapped between your fingers, his tongue guiding your own. Soft moans and grunts coming from the tower, it was he start of something in a place that was filled with hell. But he had finally accepted that he didn’t just like you, he needed to protect you. Needed to make you know he loved you, make you know that after all these years the only person he had ever seen was you.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #attack on titan levi x reader #levi ackerman fluff #levi x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fluff #aot #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi ackerman x reader #aot levi x reader #aot x reader #aot levi ackerman x reader #shingeki no kyoujin #bakugohoex #aot fluff

620 notes · View notes

hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years

Text

Author's Notes ♡:Sooooo I wrote this once with no mythological background and it was so blank because one I half read and two it had no pizzazz. So here I am...enjoying this collab wholeheartedly. For some context the readers dad is Dionysus, yknow the festive, wine maker? So I tried to incorporate that with being a potions maker! Rappa is based on a mix between Behemoths and the Kusarikku, so i wanted him just a big and a bull man hybrid but not fully a Minotaur! I hope whoever reads this enjoy it as much as I did writing it! (Also I’m slowly realizing how much I hope this man)~ bunny ❥

Here’s the lovely masterlist of the others beautiful arts!

Warnings : NSFW again! (◎_◎;)

A use of pet names l, uh some heavy size kink (if you know who I based him on, also is one of my kinks showing yet) , Needy Rappa, breeding, Light cursing, a bit of a pussy job, female oral and a bit of overstimulation.

Word count : About 6.5k (ooof) !

Paring(s) : Bullman! Kendo Rappa x F!Reader

Summary : Being a demigod had perks, you could travel, you had god and goddesses as siblings and family members and of course the power! But what happens when you have to help a stubborn farm...pet?

Enjoy ♡

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Growing up as a demigods daughter who owned a garden on earth was one experience. All types of people, gods, goddesses and hybrids needed her experience with all sorts of plants and other things from nature ; rather it be for healing medicines , a bouquet for an upset lover or for help with livestock growth, [ ] and her parents helped with every little working class they could. As [ ] went from child to young adult she was used to her fair share of men from every place asking for her attention. A human asking for her hand and giving her the bare minimum, a god, wanting to make her a goddess, or just simply flirting to warrant her attention. But alas to them all she gave them no leadway, keeping her same polite smile and overall sweetness to each and every person she dealt with. On a warm day in the heavens as she walked the sky castles grounds she ran into a farmhand, one she remembered worked for Demeter approached her hesitantly, his eyes wandering to the young maidens “U-uh M-miss [ ] right?” The male asked her , her eyebrow raising as a silent answer “Lady Demeter would like to speak with you, she need some help but she did not tell me exactly what” he said with a bow and soon turned to leave. Wondering what the goddess could want she headed to her ranch, watching the cattle and other animals graze. Suddenly the door swung wide, revealing the deity to her “[ ] my favorite niece how are you love!” The tall woman sing songingly yelled, hugging the wide eyed girl “Hello Auntie Dem, im quite alright! Uhm, what seems to be the problem? One of your hands came to get me” [ ] said as she took in the ranch home her harvesting aunt had, all sorts of gains, wheats, fruits and more spewed about in her living room “Ah yes! Your father told me how great youve become with your potions and mixes of herbs, being the daughter of Dionysus im not surprised! I told him to let you grow and do more now look at you, serving us gods and mortals alike!” Demeter went on, handing her confused niece a large apple as she took one for herself. Becoming her to a table by the window they both sat, eating on their fruit as she explained her issue.

“You see, i have a lot of cattle, different kinds, different kins and legacies, but im a bit stuck. My favorite mare, had a child a little while ago and he seemed to just be your average bull at first….but..as time went on he out grew his father, my prized minotaur bull and even his normal cow and bull family.” Taking a glance to the field they watched as the minotaur children and some sheep danced and played, other average cow cults running to join. Sighing Demeter continued “Hes a hybrid, my prized minotaur as his father and well, my biggest and prized heifer as his mother. He wont come out of the shed, doesnt deal with his other kind, minotaur or not. Hes around your age now, getting to be his prime but..he wont converse in the fields. Both his father and mother voiced concerns to me about his health but when i checked on him, hes fine! Fields away under a sun and away from my younger and ready cows! I dont get it! Maybe because hes more human than he is bull, he does have a human face and even body, just taht everything below is...well bull. Tail, those wonderful breeding-” “Auntie!” Before she could finish [ ] was hushing the woman, waving her arms “I get it i get it Bull bottom human top i dont need to hear about his loins!” She pleaded.

Laughing, the goddess reached to a pile of hay, whistling to feed some of the nearby cows “Ah you silly girl, I was only gloating about my finest bull yet! I even tried bringing him mortals but...he crushed them, saying they were too small. Every single one! Younger older it didnt matter, he wanted nothing to do with them and just squashed them like a bug under his hoofs! I'm at my wits end, Im not sure what he needs, and hes so large i cant just let him walk around the palace place, he intimidates the clerks and huffs when talked to!” Dramatically laying against the table she looked to the thinking girl, her eyes shining with an idea “Hey auntie, how about you take me to him, i can see if hes loss any weight or seems sickly anywhere. Where do you think hed be at this time?” [ ] asked “Ah you brave girl, what time is it, almost high noon? He might be in the field but its the one with my giant tree that he likes” Demeter responded, pointing to a large tree up a few fields with nothing much around it but luhs grass. “Doesnt even matter if i put up a fence, he walks on two legs so he just hops over it” She sighed again as the duo headed outside.

Seeing a tall minotaur coming towards them [ ] stopped along Demeter, her goddess aunt speaking “Ah Milvor, how are you and Altine?” “Lady Demeter and I'm guessing this is [ ], we are fine. The misses is in the field now, seeing if she can see our boy” He said. Realizing that this was the after for her case [ ] spoke up “Uhm sir have you noticed anything amiss with er-” “Kendo, his name is Kendo” The Minatour said “Ah yes with Kendo, anything seem to be hurt or missing from his way of life” She asked. “Well..not particularly. Hes always fought some of the other males here so bruises and marks are a common thing we see from him. Besides a broken horn he doesn't have anything major going on. Just that he refuses to be around anyone here. Even us at times when were out with the others” He said solemnly , looking at the girl. Grabbing her hands he pleaded “Please, help our son? I know he can be rude and dismissive but down there our sweet boy is in there, were worried sick about him” Milvor said, a sad moo coming from his approaching wife “Miss i do appreciate you checking on him, I just hope he'd be home soon” A half cow women spoke , coming beside this Kendo’s father “Well i'll do my best, it doesnt sound like hes too hurt or anything serious so i'll make sure to try and get him to be with you both” Giving a reassuring smile [ ] started off, heading to the tree at the top of them hill. Just before she got far Demeter called to her, handing her sweet wheat “Heres some of his snack, he sometimes will come back if we offer him more” She said. Taking the wheat and putting it in the side of her flowing peplos. Soon with enough treading uphill , she got close to the tree , soon seeing a tail swish from in front of the tree. Hesitantly she walked forward before seeing hooved legs, also covered in black fur, pop out from the tree. Placing a hand at the side that had no person on it she peeked over to in fact , find a rather giant back in the sun, small flecks of freckles on the toned skin. Holding her gift closer she walked to the male before hearing a snort “ ‘M tellin’ ya Elinor I dont want nothin’ to do with ya, go on, go back to the heard” A rough and deep voice said, a larger hand coming up to wave off whoever was behind him. Feeling a bit bad for this mysterious Elinor and offended, she was brushed off [ ] walked closer , standing at the ends of his legs until the male growled. “I told ya to-'' Stopping himself from yelling once he turned around he was surprised to find not hybrid named Elinor but in fact the small [ ] her eyes widening as amber ones looked down “Yer not Elinor” He said as [ ] giggled “And im guessing youre Kendo” She said as the bull sat up, cruising his legs and the curious woman in front of her. “Whos askin?”

He huffed as [ ] looked at him as she did the same , sitting across from the hybrid “A…. doctor of sorts. Your parents, along with Goddess Demeter asked me to come check on you, see how youre doing” she said as he huffed again “ ‘M fine, now why did they send you” He said as he watched her pull things out, paper , a quill, ink and is that..? Pointing to the bustle of wheat he called out “Is that… for me?” Blinking [ ] looked at the almost childish Kendo, smiling as she untied the snack “It is for you, I heard you liked it. Brought it in the hopes youd talk to me?” She questioned, holding a piece out for him to take. Hesitantly he did, gnawing at it as he hummed in delight, his tail swishing. “ So uhm… Doc what do want to know” He asked, watching as the smaller girl touched his chest and arms, squeezing lightly as she wrote down different things “If ya wanted to touch me ya shouldve asked” He teased, taking his own hand to her face. Felling he face warm up she moved back, poking him with a finger “Now now be good im just seing if youre injured. Besides that horn, do you have anything broken or doenst feel well?” She asked as she waved a pisces of wheat, making him focus. “Nah, im as fit as a fiddle” Side eyeing his response she still gave him a piece , hearing him hum in delight as she wrote more notes.

“So no injuries, no pain , nothing?” shaking his head he continued to eat , taking some pieces from her bundle as she reached for the uneatten pieces “Hey! No you get these as a reward for answering me not to eat at your leisure!” She scolded. Reaching as far as she could she grabbed at his hand before he lifted them higher, smirking “Well miss doc i want what i want, and I want my snack” He said before she grabbed his arm, poking a manicured nail at it hand “Well Kendo ill let you have it if you tell me whats wrong, without covering it up deal?” Feeling him flinch at her poking she did it again until he moved away , glaring at her through his bangs that hung low “Fine! Stop poking me though, ya nails hurt! And theres nothing wrong, i just dont like ‘em cows! They stink!” He said as he knelt closer, moving her from his arm. “They stink? How old are you 5? Why do they stink!” [ ] huffed back as he chewed more of his treat, looking to the flustered girl “Im 22 in human years little girl , and like i said they stink! Reeks like open sores and meat” He said as he kept eating , laying in the sun. Thinking over his words it dawned in her what he could be talking about “And what do i smell like Kendo?” [ ] asked, catching the half bull off guard “I dunno, you dont stink, Neither does lady Dem” He said as he turned to her. Leaning over she gave him a piece of wheat again but this time, pushing herself a bit forward, watching as his body shook before he took the piece , eating it. “Well Kendo, my name is [ ] and ill be checking on you moreoften okay? I need to run down to the house but ill be back if that's okay with you?” Silently he shook his head, watching her run off as he opened his still crossed legs, feeling himself unsleeth as he groaned ‘Shit...now why am I gettin turned on’ he thought to himself, rubbing away what he could before the girl came back

As soon as she got to the farm she was met with the eyes of the worrying three, the first to speak being his mother Altine “Oh! [ ] youre back!” She said, the bell on her neck dangling as she ran to the fence “How is my boy? Kendo is he alright?” she asked as Demeter and Milvor came soon after for the report “Well maam i can confirm he is healthy, not is wrong with him the only thing is..” [ ] hesitated as she looked at them “He might have a heat approaching, is this his first one by any chance?” SHe asked as they all looked at eachother, Demeter speaking up “Well not exactly, this is why I kept bringing mortals up here, he wouldnt mate with the cows, and even other hybrids! Nothing! Hed turn his nose up at them all and go back to that field. He actually broke that horn of his fighting a bull from a neighboring farm who wanted to cow that was trying to get his attention” Demeter said, sigh as she saw her nieces blank face , afraid she overwhelmed her “Its alright if you dont think hes fixable [ ] i can-” “No hes fine. I can help him, and i think it wont be that hard either” [ ] said, giving the group a smile. “Watch him for a few days for me , im gonna go back up there with him, see how he is then come back in a few days with some of my things, ill stay here as long as need be to help your son” She said as she gave them all a smile, going inside to get her something to eat. Soon she hear her aunt appear, shuffling about to give her a basket to put her things in “Here, Im so gald helping him is a easy fix” She said sighing happily as she continued “I know he should mate on his own time, but im more concerned for his heath of it all, he doesnt even release into anyone or even by himself” Glancing towards her auntie she took in a breath before saying something “Well, i know it has to be bad now, he even said the er, cow women here stink, so their hormone have to be covered with other bulls or maybe he genuinely doesnt see appeal with them” [ ] said. Thinking it over Demeter gave her an almost alarming look “Well if thats the case just as you arrived he asked me what i was cooking, that something smelt good. I told him I didnt have anything and he just retreated back to his part of the barn before leaving for the field again.” Slowly [ ] realized she might be in for more than she imagines but brushed it off. “Interesting..” She said as she took her full basket “I have an idea, im gonna see if his heat hits its peaking times in a few days, I do plan on staying here if youd have me here?” She asked as a delighted look spread across Demeter’s face “Of course dear child! I missed having you around! Your Father was bad at bringing you over, him and his festivals” Demeter huffed before she poked her nieces cheek “Besides! We can have a girls night, or well er, weeks depending!” She said as the laughed together “Well it's a deal!”

Heading back up the hill she saw that Kendo had moved, facing a running river as he sast in the sun once more, looking content. [ ] smirked to herself before grabbing some of the things she had ; a brush, a lavish soap and a towel. Heading to where the behemoth of a hybrid laid she noticed his ear twitched, before he opened an eye to look back at her. “Hey Doc, ya back.” He said as she gave him a smile, sitting beside his head “Why yes I am. You seem to be enjoying yourself” She teased as he smirked, turning to face her. “Well i do enjoy the sun, keeps me warm nd my hair soft.” Looking him over again she noticed that his hair was always up in a bun but his bangs covering his eyes, a different hue of color, more of a rustic red than his black furred legs. “Well about that...Im gonna give you a bath!” the giant bull flinched at her words, seeing the happy look gracing her face “Oi now look, ‘m fine i dont need no bath” He argued as she pouted “Why sure you do! I know you dont go when the others get theirs, and if that bun of yours is any indication, you need to wash all of that dirt and grime off. Now let me help you” She barked back, pointing the soft looking brush towards his face. He stood up, now overthrowing the girls height as he pointed a finger at her “Now look, I like being this way, it keeps those girls offa me if you clean me now they wont leave me alone!” [ ] sighe before stepping closer, pointing her own small hand at his face, moving closer “Now you listen to me Kendo, I have things to help keep them off of you, this is for your own health! I can leave you here, dirty but your hair and fur is gonna get so matted theyll have to shave you!”

At hearing a potential that hed be shave Kendo flinched, moving his bangs so his soft eyes could meet her determined ones “Theyll shave me? Ion wanna be like the sheep” he said she she gave him a satisfied look. “Well go into the water then and ill make sure you wont!” Reluctantly he sighed, walking into the river as she followed behind, pinning her longer robe so it wouldnt get too wet as she sat at the side of the river. Holding a hand out she waved him closer, the male coming to her as she undid his hair. To her utter surprise it fell down his shoulders, stopping just short of his waist. Gently she pushed his bangs back to see his pretty amberish eyes looking up to her [ ]’ed ones. He had a typical Bull hook through his nose , the gold shining in the warm sun. He was quite handsome, sun kissed skin and a clear face, broad shoulders and a nice body. Even with his mostly human body his horns, tail and ears were bull, on top of his legs and...neithers , that were covered in fur. Softly she traced a scar under his eye, the wound slightly tender as he jumped from the touch. Going to her wrist she tied a string to hold his long bangs up, a giggle falling from her lips as he almost looked like a younger child getting a bath “What're you lookin at me like that for” He huffed as she laughed more, pushing his face together “You look like an upset child is all. Now go ahead and dip in the water for me , ill scrub you after.” Listening to her, Kendo dropped watching as some of the debris and dirt washed off around him as he stood up, shaking his hair “Good enough?” He asked as she shook her head, pouring some of the sopa on the brush as she started to was his chest,making sure to scrub him as clean as she could from land. Sensing her struggle he reached to her, lifting her over his body as she squealed “Sorry, you were just strugglin so i thought i'd help you” Kendo said as [ ] hesitantly started to wash as much as she could, tapping his arm anytime she needed to move. Being up there did help, she was able to was his horns and his hair, revealing the rust orange and copper hair underneath. Surprised she ran her finger though it, giving him a shy smile. “See dont you feel a bit better?” She asked as he shyly nodded, noticing how her clothes clinged to her chest. He reached to put her back on land, coming out of the water himself as he allowed her to scrb his legs and hoofs, the dull black fur coming to life as he watched in awe. She didnt mind helping him, still came to bother him when he said he didnt want help and now she was bathing him. Kendo mulled over how helpful she was, and realized she was more comforting than most. After scrubbing his hoofs shiny she tapped his legs, signaling she was done.

“All right! Now that youre all clean and such Ill make sure you stay this way okay Kendo?” [ ] said as she went back to the basket, pulling out two apples. The bull in question watched as she came back to him, handing him the other one “Here ya go! Thought you could use something sweet” kendo took the apple from the girl, before biting into it, thanking hier softly as they sat in silence. Soon [ ] spoke up, breaking their silet aurora “So...ill be around here the next few days or so, ill probably stay longer, giving how nice it is” She laughed, looking at the curious male beside her “Dont be afraid to ask me for anything okay? Im here to help you” With that Kendo nodded, going back to the apple. Quietly Kendo touched her arm, making [ ] look to him as an unfamiliar look went over his face. Gently herself, [ ] put her hand on his, shaking her head as a signal for him to talk. “Would you mind...pettin me?” he asked before [ ]’s eyes went wide. Now feeling a bit more embarrassed he spoke up again “I have problems going to sleep, ‘ts why i like it out here in the sun, its warm , nd comforting…” Pausing he continued after he got his words together. “You do the same thing like the sun. Youre warm...comforting.. And make me feel sleepy...so if you pet me...ill be comforted to sleep..its what my mama did, but im too big to be in her lap” With that kendo finished, glancing to the girl who gave him a soft look “Of course i can! I have to get pick some more clothes up but once i get back, I can stay with you out here.” Shaking his head Kendo looked back to the river “Ya dont have to sleep outside with me just...put me to sleep” Unable to stop herself [ ] hugged his arm, looking at him through her lashes “Oh cmon you big baby, I dont mind it! Havent slept under the stars since i was a kid!” Brushing off her dress she ran a hand though his thick locs of hair, giving him another warm hug “Ill be back before sundown, now you be good” And with that he watched as his new found friend walked down the hill.

As promised she brought a blanket and joined him, laying under the tree as the large male went to sleep on her lap, contently humming as [ ] ran her fingers through his hair, making Kendo groan as he fell asleep like mentioned, hugging her thighs as he slept the most comfortable he had in weeks. Watching the hybrid sleep she saw all types of scars, some down his back , others on his chest. A few on his arms and only one on his face, plus the broken horn. He obviously got himself into different groups of problems, but he was sweet, not as curt as he expected. Running her fingers down his back she watched him shiver, going to wrap his arms higher around her torso. Giggling as softly as she could [ ] started to braid his hair back in his sleep, the moving under her ceasing as he was well resting once more. Thinking to herself ‘ If he’ll be like this it should be a breeze to help him.’ Oh how wrong she was.

A few days passed with little to no incident , [ ] going around helping with the daily chore and hanging out with her deity auntie. As the two of them sat in the living quarters, drinking a mixed juice that her father set them they heard a bell appear towards the window, it being Kendo’s mother “I'm so sorry to bother you , but i think something is gravely wrong. Kendo is whining in the shed, earlier he even started to-” Before she could finish a thumb came from his shed, followed by a groan “and that, he's been head butting his room” sitting up [ ] looked to his shed, seeing the door shut but large banging still coming from inside “Hey Auntie, is it alright if we could move him to the other field? I dont want his lashing to accidentally hurt anyone here” Coming besides [ ] Demeter chewed at her lip, thinking “Well, if we can stop him then yes, I'd get the boys to move it quickly”. With that answer [ ] got up, heading to the rocking shed. Taking in a breath she knocked, hearing that the groans subsided. The door slowly creaked open, showing a heaving Kendo “[ ].....?” He whispered, looking over her body as she reached to his forehead, pressing her hand against it. Hot, way too hot. “Kendo, sweetie come with me okay? We’re gonna go to the fields and we're gonna move your shed there okay?” Silently he nodded, coming out of his place. He was gasping, chest heaving as his eyes swirled a darker color than normal. Taking the outstretched hand of [ ] his larger fingers curled against it, following the light pull of the girl. Softly, He nudged her back “ ‘M hot..” he said as she looked back at him, making sure the fever wasn't wearing him down. He gave her a weak smile, rubbing the back of her hand “ ‘M alright princess, just hot” Kendo said as she noted how his voice dropped octaves. “Well theyre gonna bring a bigger shed for you out here and ill check on you every hour. Does anything hurt?” [ ] asked as they walked up the hill “Nah, but my horns are ackey.” “Is that why you were bashing them on the shed?” “Yeah...its like trying to scratch an itch you can reach” Kendo sighed, seeing his usual tree coming into view. As the duo got there he dramatically fell under it, pulling [ ] with him. “K-kendo! Careful!” she fussed as he let go of her apologizing as he drifted to sleep. Soon some of the workers had started working on the new roomed shed for him , finishing just before sundown as they would inform Demeter of where she was.

Gently pushing the deep sleeping boy from her lap she went to his new place, checking everything out. It was more of a small home than a shed, filled with a huge bed and a nice aesthetic to them, the touch of the goddess laced through the look of the place. Going around to sort some of the things they brought for Kendo, [ ] felt a presence behind her “whats all this..” the groggy bull said, ducking down to walk into his lavish bedroom “Your new home! I had them build something spacious but also not overwhelming, and these white are just so lovely.” [ ] kept talking as she soon felt two large arms wrap around her torso “ Ya did this for little ol me..?” He whispered as she ran a hand over his forearm. “I did...you need somewhere to relax in this state” She responded, trying to get from his grasp as he tighten it “Uh uh dont leave...tell me whats wrong with me doc..why cant I stop feeling hot...and anytime you come around I...cant help myself” He ended with a groan , burying his face in the shorter girls neck “Well once im sure of you being in a state of need ill be back okay? Just...relax for me and i promise ill be back.” finally convincing him to let go of her waist, not without a pained groan as he went to the bed, hazy eyes glancing over the short dress wearing girl “Get some more rest okay? Im gonna get something to eat and ill be back in the morning. Call me if you need me okay?” [ ] said as he just groaned a meek response, turning to his side.

Earlier the next morning [ ] woke up to an empty house. Stretching she found a neatly written note with some food on the table

Dearest Niece, Im currently headed to your Uncle Poseidon's place, I should be back some time later ; an update on Kendo, hes been begging for you all day, wont let anyone touch him or check on him. He should be awake now but do be warned ; He’s a lot more scatterbrained than usual

Auntie Demeter

Reading over the note again [ ] sighed, putting on her more comfortable and workable dress as she headed up to his new little house on his hill, the sound of groaning and whines coming to her ears as she got to his door. Seeing it ajar she pushed it open slightly, the place dark except from a crack of light coming from the window. Going to the shades she opened them, hearing a hiss from the bed. “Kendo its me..[ ]?” She called out as the wild set of hair came into view. He was even more disheveled, eyes filled over as he looke to the girl before growling, crawling out of the bed to her. With a gasp she was in his arms, body shaking as she was met with unnaturally feral eyes from the boy. “You left me yesterday..” he rapeseed out, burying his face in her neck again as she grabbed at his thick neck “Kendo honey, i told you id be back this morning didnt i?” She calmly said as he held her tighter, pushing her chest to his “Dont care, ‘ts too long” Realizing why he was so needy [ ] tried to reason with him “Well im sorry love, here lets sit down on the bed” Trying to get him to move she walked forward only to feel something large and hot push into her bare thigh. Nervously she looked down only to be faced to what she feared it was ; His hanging member. A wicked laugh came from above her as she was met with his ever lust driven eyes, a hand of his going to cup her ass and pull her closer “See what you left me with? No matter how hard i fuck my fist i cant cum, it wont come out” He whined and burried his face again, rocking himself on her thigh “Please ill do anythin..youre the only one who sgotten me like this...the only one i want..[ ] please princess help me” Overwhelmed but the situation she tried to pull back, eyes searching his “K-kendo youre getting yourself worked up relax-” Without warning he picked her up, making her screech as he brought her crouch to his face, inhaling as he whimpered, reaching down to his growing dick “Fuck you smell good, like flowers...and sweets..” Letting his tongue roll out he sucked over her panties, making her squeal as she gripped his messy hair “N-no kendo put me down i need to help y-you!” She moaned as his tongue flicked over her clit, a mutual groan coming from both of them. Soon a hard tug to his hair resonated, cause him to put her down as she barely touched the floor, hand grabbing his biceps “Kendo please, please sit down youre overworking yourself.” Trying to calm her racing heart she saw how hazed he was, his hand coming to wrap around his visually throbbing head, stroking himself as tight and fast as he could, looking at the awe struck girl infront of him. His hips lifted up as he was chasing a high but he soon groaned, thrusting meekly in his fist “I-I cant, fuck I cant do it doll, ‘t hurts...p-please” Finally snapping from her haze she got closer to Kendo, hand still trying to milk himself as she put her hand over his, stoping the motion.

“K-ken..ill help you okay? Youre gonna rub yourself raw at this pace..” nervously [ ] pulled his hand away, precum coating it as she gulped. He was huge, red and swollen tip curved in the right places. Even with his bull heritage he was still humanly manageable, but with a lot of work to try and get it to fit. With her staring at the intimidating size it twitched , curving up to his belly button as he gave her a lop sided snarl “ Cmon darlin, he... er, we need you . ya keep staring make me feel a bit exposed” He laughed as [ ] gave her own light chuckle. Facing her fears she wrapped a hand around his tip, a hurting yelp falling from Kendo at the touch made her eyes flicker to him but what she saw was pure lust, eyes blown with his tongue licking over his lips “Y-yes finally...shit I-i can feel somethin” Kendo couldnt help himself. Reaching down he grabbed her other hand , wrapping them tightly around his tip as he thrusted between them. “Mhmm im cumin, im gonna cum o-oh shit” As soon as she twisted her wrist to help him he felt himself twitch , spurts of warm cum splattering on [ ]’s face and the floor a he gave her a nervous laugh “S-shit doll face yer good...im sorry i couldnt hold it in..” he said shyly as [ ] gave him a sympathetic look, stroking over his still throbbing head. “[ ] please...can I fuck you? I-I promise ill go slow its juts the smell of you is..mhmm intoxicating” Kendo pulled her up from her knees, pressing his mouth against her clinging panties ,pulling them with his teeth. [ ] squeaked, grabbing his hair as he pushed her hips closer, trying to lick her. “W-wait ill take em off” Pushing at his shoulders she pulled the piece he had in his mouth out, sliding the flimsy lace as she came a bit closer, a growl coming from his lips as he pushed her dress higher, finally able to taste her. Throwing one leg then the next on his shoulder kendo fell back, making her fall onto his lips.

[ ] let a pitched moan come out, startled by his rummaging in between her thighs , his diligent uskcing on her clit taking a toll as she came, bucking her hips onto his mouth. Swallowing her juices Kendo flipped her on her stomach, pushing the fabric of her dress up and over her shoulder to release her covered chest, now exposed “mhmm i want more of that sweet nectar baby why dont you give it to me?” whispering in her ear and now bucking his even harder dikc between her small lips [ ] started to panic “K-Ken wait I dont think youll fit!” ignoring her thrashing Kendo looked over her body, seeing how she shook at every stroke of his tip against her sopping core “I told ya ill be gentle, hold still [ ]...i wouldnt hurt my mate” The heaviness of those word took over [ ]’s body as she looked back to him, only to see the save behemoth size push against her ring of muscles. Agonizingly slow he pushed, letting his tip slide in as he pushed each small inch he could in, a whine falling from them both. Once he was halfway in he slowly thrust his hips, causing the girl to yelp “I-its alright i got ya okay? Youre fine...its okay im here” Constantly praising her , Kendo was able to slip more into her, each mini thrust pushing him a bit closer to her, the sounds of squishing and pleasure filled moans filling the room. Becoming overwhelmed at almost being full [ ] pushed her hips back to take the rest, making Kendo yelped and [ ] moaned, the sudden feeling of him bottoming out almost too much as he placed his hand on her stomach, feeling him brush her cervix. Swinging his hips more fluidly he started to pounder her even more, gripping her neck as he pushed her deeper in the bed “Fuck yeah i knew youd be my perfect little minx, taking me so well i cant wait to see you swollen with my babies” He huskily whispered , the stretched out girl too blissed at taking him whole to care about his words.

“I bet youd love being my mate, wouldnt have to lift a finger for anything , id take good care of ya..” Continuing his beating against her cervix he felt something strong hed never felt before, a blind need to cum hitting him like a train “mhm..please let me breed you, this pussys’ mine, all i ever wanted...ill make you a cute little house wife hm? Make you swell with cute little us running about.” Feeling her weakening clench over him he reached for that bundle of nerves, switching his hips to hit even deeper, his throbbing dick pushing against that sponge in her walls. Crying out [ ] fell lower, feeling him slip impossibly deeper as he sped up.” Cmon [ ] , babygirl cum for me..give me it..t-then i can give you what you want yeah? Fill ya to the brim so you can bear me a strong child….”Finally at that the little sense of control snapped coming from a particularly hard push and roll of her clit she was whining , grabbing the arm beside her head as angry red lines welted up. Feeling her hit her peak Kendo got to his knees , nursing her bud as she tried to tug him away, thighs shaking as teary eyes looked down to his fierce lust filled one. As soon as she started whimpering and pulling her hips away he stopped, scrubbing his tip along her folds as he entered without too much pull, [ ]’s mouth falling open “Mh..i'm so close baby...just wanted to look at you when I fill you full..” Kendo felt his tip twitch, making his hips stutter as he picked his pace up again, watching as her arms went are far as they could to his back, stretching his shoulders as he came with a growl, and almost audible sound of him pumping in her heard as she weakly pulled him closer, their lips meeting in a intimate kiss.

With care he pulled from her lips, seeing her eyes fill up again as he kissed tears away “Its alright...its okay ‘m here princess...its alright..I didnt hurt you did I?” Kendo asked as he looke at her slightly bulged stomach, a satisfied smirk on his lips “ Hey [ ]...” He started as she gave a weak hum he continued “Be my mate..I know i didnt ask before filling you bu...id be honored to make such a caring woman my mate and wife...treat you just like my father does my mom..…” He said, nuzzling her cheek before [ ] pulled his face up, kissing him lightly as she gave him a tired smile, rubbing his cheeks “I-id be honored to be your mate..take good care of me okay? Or Auntie Demeter has your head..” Laughing he kissed her lips again, sealing their new deal

#my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #the circus dome collab #rappa x reader #kendo rappa #rappa smut #kendo rappa x reader

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jeo9n · 3 years

Text

Majesty Pt 10 || JJK

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre : slow burn,angst,fluff,virgin reader,King JK,future smut

Warnings : Jungkook gets a little jealous

Wordcount : 4K

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"What?!" Was the first thing your mother said, with a shocked look on her face, when you told her about everything that had happen yesterday.

She couldn’t believe that the King would do something like that to you. She couldn’t believe that the man that had sat in her home and promised to care for you just a few weeks prior would do something like this. She just could not believe it. He seemed so nice, he also seemed like he really liked you. "Are you serious? You better not be joking right now, Y/n!"

"Of course I’m not joking, mom! I caught them having sex. I saw it with my own eyes! Why would I be joking about that?" You told her in a annoyed tone. What Jungkook did last night really hurted you, even if you don’t admit it. You thought he liked you, but last night proved that you clearly thought wrong. "He did not even look sorry when I caught them, not even a little bit. He did not even apologize, mom. All he said was, that he needed sex and that I’m a dumb little virgin that doesn’t know anything about." You chuckle ironically at that.

Your mom looks at you with a sad expression on her face. You know she feels sorry for you. She only ever wanted the best for you and now you have a husband that is cheating on you not even a year into your marriage. "Oh dear, I’m so sorry!" She says, putting her arm around your shoulder and rubbing your arm comfortingly. "You guys are married. He should’ve talked to you about it, not sleeping with his ex mistress!"

"I know! I mean, he knew that I’m a virgin from the very beginning, he even said thats why he chose me. So why did he not talk with me about it? maybe we could’ve worked things out. But what did he? He went and slept with that bitch and ruined everything." You sigh. You don’t understand Jungkook. One day he’s being nice to you and then the next day it’s like he’s a whole another person. "I don’t wanna go back to the castle, mom." You tell her, turning your face so you can look at her. "You don’t have to!" She tells you calmly. She would never make you go back to castle, back to him, that’s not what kind of person she was. If you wanted to stay here, then you’re going to stay here.

You were on your way back home later that day. Your mom has asked you to pick up some milk and flour for her, since she wanted to bake a cake and was out those things. So you went and got them for her. You were carelessly waking home, when you saw the King and two bodyguards by his side, standing outside of your house. You really did not want to see him again, not after yesterday. But here he was, standing right in front of you. You were about to turn around and walk away, but Jungkook turned his head in your direction before you got the chance to even move.

"Ah, see who we got here! My wife that I have been looking for all day." He says weirdly calm, as he started approaching you. You grabbed the bag you were holding more tightly, when he got closer. Just seeing his face again made you angry again. You cannot believe he has the audacity to come here, to your home, looking for you. After what he did yesterday night. "Care to explain why you’re here and not at the castle, hm?"

You laugh at that, you actually have to laugh at that. Is he seriously asking you that right now? "Jungkook, are you dumb?" You ask him and he looks at you a little dumbfounded. "I think you already know the answer as to why I’m here! So dont act dumb and stop asking me those stupid questions." You tell him and start walking inside, to get away from him, but he follows you. Of course he would follow you.

When you got inside, you find your mother in the kitchen. She looks at you worriedly, obviously already knowing that Jungkook was waiting for you outside. She had told him that you weren’t home, when he came and looked for you. She told him that he should just leave and that you weren’t going back to castle with him, but he just shook his head, smiled at her and said "oh, she is coming back with me." And walked back outside to wait for you.

You let out a sigh and put down your bag. You knew that Jungkook would notice you being gone and you knew that he would find you. I mean, how could he not? It probably wasn’t hard for him to find you anyway. Jungkook knew that you would go to your mom’s home, where else would you go?

You heard Jungkook walking in right behind you. "Come on, Y/n, I don’t have much time. Just hurry up so we can go home."

"I am not going home with you, Jungkook!" You turn around to look at him. He’s starting to irritate you. "I don’t even know why you came here in the first place. I left for a reason! And that reason is, that we’re done and I’m staying here." Turning around again and getting the your moms stuff out of the back. Grabbing them with a little too much force than necessary.

He chuckles behind you, which irritates you more. "Aw don’t be mad at me." He says, leaning into you so he’s at head level with you. "Let’s go home, Bambi." He whispers into your ear.

You turn your head around so fast at the mention of your nickname, almost bumping your head into Jungkook‘s. "What did you just call me?" You ask him, with wide eyes.

"Wow chill." He tells you, putting up hands in front of him. "What did you just call me, Jungkook?" You ask him again.

He looks at you confused, not understanding your sudden outburst. "I called you by your name!" He explains. But you don’t believe him. You heard something different. "No, that’s not what you said!"

"Uh yes? I said, let’s go home, Y/n. - what’s wrong with you, are you okay?" He ask you, putting his hand on your forehead to check if you were sick.

You roll your eyes at him. "I’m fine!" You say, putting his hand away from you. "I just - I don’t know. I thought I heard something different." Shaking your head. Are you going crazy now? You probably imagined it, Jungkook couldn’t have called you by your nickname, he doesn’t even know your nickname.

"Okay so, if your don’t with that now," Jungkook starts, pointing his head towards the stuff on the counter, interrupting your thoughts. "Then let’s go home, now."

"I think you should just go home with him, darling." Your mom interrupts, making you both turn your heads. Is she forreal? "What? Mom, no!" You quickly say, but she shakes her head. "Y/n, dear, Jungkook obviously won’t leave without you." She says, looking in his direction and he nods, confirming her words. "You’re going to stand here till dawn still saying no. Just make it easier for you and go with him. He’s your husband after all."

Your moms right. You have to go back, even if you don’t want to. You’re married to him and he’s also the King. You should just behave and go back to the castle with him and avoid getting punished.

"Ugh fine!" You say throwing your hands up in the air. You cannot believe you just agreed on going back to the castle. You can see Jungkook grinning from the corner of your eye, obviously happy to he got his way again, like always. You just roll your eyes at that.

You really did not want to go back to the castle, but here you were.

You ignored Jungkook the whole way back to castle. You did not feel like talking to him. Even when he talked to you, you did not answer him.

It hasn’t even been 24/7 hours yet and your already back. You wish you could just turn around and leave again, but you knew you couldn’t. Jungkook would find and bring you back to the castle anyway. So you did not even try. When you got inside you saw Maria and a few of the other maids looking at you with a apologetic and worried look on their faces.

You did not like that all. You did not like that they looked at you like that, like they felt sorry for you, when they knew what he was doing all along.

"Do I have something on my face or why do y’all keep looking at me?" You asked them annoyed. They all quickly looked away and got back to their work. Making you shake your head.

"Don’t be so mean to them, Y/n. They were worried for you!"

"I don’t care." You tell him, walking up the stairs to go to your room. Wanting to get away from everyone. But Jungkook followed you. "What Are you doing?" He asked you when he saw you opening the door to your old room, you stayed in when you first arrived at the castle.

"Well, what does it look like? I’m going into my room." You say, shrugging your shoulders. Turning around again to get into your room, but Jungkook puts his hand on your arm stopping you. "This isn’t your room, Y/n, you know that. Our room is down the hall, you’re at the wrong door, baby."

You cross your arms in front of your chest and squint your eyes at him. "I’m not going back into that room with you, Jungkook!"

He tilts his head and quirks his eyebrow at you. "Why not?" Is he really asking you why?

You shake your head and laugh at him. "Jungkook, do you really think im going back into that room and sleep in same bed with you, you fucked another woman in?" You ask him, already irritated again. "Cause if that’s what you thought, then you thought wrong! I’m not going back into that room!"

Now Jungkook is the one laughing at you and you have to hold yourself back from punishing him in his annoying face. "The bed has obviously been cleaned already!" He says, as if that made anything better. "Now, quit acting like a child and come back to our room with me."

"No!" You shake your head. "Now, if you would excuse me, I would like to go back to my room!" You smile at him, opening the door to your room and quickly closing and locking it after you.

Jungkook stays outside of your room for a while saying that you don’t have to stay in that room and should come back to your shared bedroom and that you would regret it if you stayed in that room, but you ignored him and went to take a bath instead.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

It’s been a few months since the day you got back to castle. Jungkook and you have gotten a little closer again since then, but you still don’t sleep in the same room with him. You still did not forgive Jungkook for cheating on you. He hurted you and that’s not something you just forgive someone, you just try to not think about it as much, but that doesn’t mean you forgot about. Jungkook also hasn’t seen his ex mistress ever since that day you caught them together, which is good you guess. Everything has gotten back to normal again, you eat together, spend the day together (whenever Jungkook is home) you spend time with Leo, spend a lot of time in the library or some day you just stay in your room.

"Y/n, where are you?" You can hear Jungkook yell from a distance. Before he opens the door to the library and finds you. "There you are!" He says with a smile on as he starts walking toward you.

"Here I am." You smile.

"I knew I would find you here." He says, standing behind you and putting his hands on your shoulder. You smile at him at that. "But why are you here reading a book? We’re leaving in 20 minutes to visit the neighborhood Kingdom, shouldn’t you get ready?" He asks and you freeze. You totally forgot about that. Shit.

You quickly close the book you were reading and turn around in your seat. "That is today? Oh my god I totally forgot about that, I’m sorry!" You quickly say, as you get up so you can go and get ready.

Jungkook finds your reaction cute. He’s not mad at you because you forgot about your meeting today, he sometimes forgets stuff too, that’s okay. "It’s okay!" He tells you, as you both walk out of the library. "You should hurry up and get ready tho."

You turn your head and nod. "Okay." You say, quickly walking to your room to get changed.

You changed into a light blue dress and quickly did your hair. You did not want to be late, so you got done as fast as you could. Jungkook was already waiting at the door for you when you got down, he was wearing a beige suit with a few gold details. His black hair was shorter now than it used to be, since he cut it last week. You liked his new hairstyle, it suited him really well.

You arrived at the neighborhood Kingdom faster than you expected, it only took you like 30 minutes to get here. The castle was beautiful, a little smaller than yours but it was still pretty big. It was dark brown much, much different to yours, but you liked it.

One of the chamberlains brought you and Jungkook to the King’s royals office, where he was waiting for you.

You gasped at how beautiful the King was. When doors the office opened and you finally saw him. You dared to say he was even a little more handsome than Jungkook. His light brown hair was pushed back exposing his forehead and his beautiful face, he had lips so plum that you suddenly felt the need to kiss him. He had broad shoulders and was really tall, which you noticed when he got up to greet the both of you.

"Hello, I’m Kim Seokjin, King of Caspian. It’s a pleasure meeting you." He introduced himself to you, kissing the back of your hand.

You look down on your hand he was holding before quickly introducing yourself. "I’m Y/n, his wife." You say while looking at Jungkook to see him with a sour look on his face. "It’s nice meeting you, your highness." You say, as you turn your head around again to look at him. He gives you a beautiful smile, before letting go of your hand to greet Jungkook.

They quickly greet each other and get right to work. You just sit there not understanding a thing, being bored out of your mind. If you were at home you would leave and go hang out with Leo, but you weren’t at home, so you were forced to sit here and listen to stuff you don’t understand.

They finally finished their work later that day. You’re happy to be finally going home, you sat here almost all day, you really wanna go home now. You all get up to say your goodbyes and leave. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Seokjin asks, when he got up. You and Jungkook quickly look at each other before looking back at Seokjin.

"We can’t - Sure." You both say at the same time. You thought staying for dinner would be nice, since he asked so nicely but Jungkook apparently had other plans. "We would love to stay." You say quickly, when you see the confused look on Seokjins face.

He nods and smiles. "Perfect! Then lets go down to eat." He says, "I’m sure dinner must be done already." He points towards the door, silently asking you to follow him.

When you look over to Jungkook you can see that he’s pissed, his jaw is clenched and his stare is intense. "Why did you do that?" He asks in a whisper. You don’t understand why he’s mad. "I just thought it would be nice to have dinner with him." You shrug. "We’re already here anyway, staying over a little big longer for dinner won’t hurt." You say, but your words just seem to piss him off more.

When you arrive downstairs at dining room, the table is already full of food. It looks so delicious that your stomach crumbles, you had food before you came over but eating again won’t hurt, right?

You all sit down, you and Jungkook sit down next each other while Seokjin sits down on his usual seat. Once you sit down, the maid immediately fill your plates with food. Probably a little more than you can eat, but you don’t mind. You all start eating and you almost moan once the food hits your tastebuds. You thought Maria was a amazing cook, but this food taste just a slight better.

Jungkook and Seokjin have a little small talk while you continue eating. "So when did you guys get married?" Seokjin asks and you look up.

"Just a few months ago." Jungkook answers for you. Seokjin nods before he continues. "So how did you guys meet? Did you meet her at you wife competition?" He asks and you nod.

"Yeah." You tell him. "I thought Jungkook would never choose someone like me, but he did." You smile and look at Jungkook to see him not even smiling a bit. You turn your head again to look at Seokjin again. "But yeah, that’s how we met."

"When are you planning on getting married?" Jungkook asks in return.

Seokjin takes a sip of his wine and smiles. "I don’t know. I would wish to marry someone as beautiful as you." He says while looking at you. "I wish I had found first instead of Jungkook, i would treat you so good."

You chuckle awkwardly at him, while your hair behind your ear. You did not know what do say to that - what Are you even supposed to say to something like that?

Jungkook clenches his fists tightly behind you, which you don’t notice. He cannot believe Seokjin is flirting with his wife right in front of him. He takes a deep breath to try to calm him down.

"Does Jungkook treat you right, Y/n?" He asks you suddenly.

You’re not sure what to say... I mean, he treats you nice (sometimes) "U-Uh yeah - yeah he does." You quickly say and nod your head.

All Seokjin does is smile at that and continues eating.

You left Seokjins Kingdom a little while after finishing dinner. You were glad you left. He kinda started creeping you out towards the end, so you were more than happy to leave.

You went to take a shower when you arrived at home.

Jungkook kept acting weird on your ride home, maybe because he wasn’t happy about staying for dinner? But you don’t understand why he had a problem with that.

You got out the shower and walked back into your room. When you closed the bathroom door behind you, you gasped and almost let go of your towel. Jungkook was sitting on your bed just looking at you. You did not expect him to be here, so seeing him here in your room startled you.

"When did you came in?" You ask him, as you hold you towel around you more tightly.

"Just a few minutes ago." He explains.

"Okay, why are you here."

He shrugs. "I wanted to talk to you, but you were in the shower so I waited." He says, as he looks you up and down.

You can feel his eyes on you which makes you blush. "Oh! Okay. What do you want to talk about?" Biting your lip nervously.

"About earlier - Come sit down." He says, patting the empty seat on the bed next to him. You hesitate for a bit. Your still naked with only your towel around you to hide your body from him, but end up sitting down next to him anyway.

You sit down carefully, while crossing your legs, not wanting to expose anything.

Jungkook turns his body in your direction once you sit down next to him. "Why did you not say anything when Seokjin was flirting with you earlier?" He asks you.

You look at him confused. "W-what do you mean? He wasn’t flirting with me, Jungkook. I think he was trying to be nice?" You say, which sounds more like a question.

"No. He was clearly flirting with you." He explains. "Right in front of me, that fucker flirted with you right in front of me! I wanted to punsh him in his face so bad." He says with a clenched jaw.

You put your hands over his trying to calm him down. "Well, it’s not my fault that he was "flirting with me". You say. "And why are you so mad about it? I’m your wife not his‘, I’ll tell him to fuck off the next time."

Jungkook shakes his head, while taking your hands in his'. "There won’t be a next time! You won’t go back there again, never."

"Alright, then don’t worry about it anymore. It won’t happen again." You tell him, looking down at your hands. You love the way your hands look together, they’re like a perfect fit for each other.

"What do I have to do for you to come and sleep with me in our bed again?" He suddenly asks you, which makes you look up. You weren’t expecting that question. You don’t know when your going back to your shared bedroom. You wanna stay in this room for a little longer.

"I don’t know." You shrug. He looks a little sad at your answer, which you find cute. "You can sleep with me here tonight, if you want?" You ask carefully.

He smiles and immediately nods. "I would love to."

You squeeze his hand and smile. "Okay, just let get dressed real quick." You say, before getting and grabbing your nightgown to go get dressed in the bathroom.

When you come out of the bathroom, Jungkook is already laying in bed waiting for you. You go and lay down next to him and he immediately grabs and hugs you from behind. You smile at that, laying in Jungkook’s arms makes you feel saved and dare you say, loved.

"Im happy we’re sharing a bed again." He says, giving you a kiss on you neck, creating goosebumps all over your body. You turn around in his hold to be face to face with him. "I’m happy too, Jungkook."

He looks at you for a while before he leans in closer, taking in a deep breath, inhaling you scent. "Can I kiss you?" He whispers against your lips and you nod. He leans in and your lips touch for the first time again in months. It feels like your kissing him for the first time all over again. Your tummy tingles and your heart beats faster.

Jungkook deepens the kiss while angling his head, propping his tongue against your lips, asking for a invite. You open your mouth after a while and Jungkook carefully slips his tongue inside, you moan once you feel his tongue against yours. It’s a weird feeling, but you like the feeling it’s giving you. Your body suddenly feels hot, wanting more but before you could do anything, Jungkook already backed away from your lips. You whine at the loss and Jungkook chuckles.

"I know how your feeling, baby. But let’s not rush things, okay?" He says, and you nod, understanding what he means. "Let’s go to sleep. We had a long day." He says.

"Okay" you nod, he’s giving you one last kiss before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Taglist: @fangirl125reader @min-nicoleee @yzkyzkuniverse @safi4x @zoeshinelove @wearenot7withu @queenmasterxx @dreamer95 @kleritata @hardcarrykookie @bts-junseagull @fareeshaaaa @two-unbeatable-beaters

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lepusrufus · 3 years

Note

hello ma'am. i've been lurking around before your unhinged maiden even came to life but never really interacted till now ehe i've been REALLY invested on your maidens and mia x miranda couple but i've been thinking,,,,, i dont think i've seen you mention anything about donna with an oc and BABY NEEDS LOVE OK if you do have something in mind for donna, may i have some hc? thank you keep up the good work love u

Hello and glad to hear you've been following along and liking my gals!💕💕

Now about Donna, I personally see her as someone who couldn't care less about relationships to the point where Angie is really the only thing you could say is genuinely loved by her. That's not to say she doesn't care about others at all, even through her rather manipulative nature, as she does find the other lords for example quite good company at times. You could also say she cares about her small staff at the Beneviento house. But if push comes to shove, there would be little to no hesitation in choosing her life over others. (And I also have probably more than I can juggle on my plate with all the characters so I'm really not in a hurry to add more)

With that being said, while I don't see her being romantically involved with anyone, I hope you'll like some hcs on her relationships with the rest of our little shroom cult:

She makes it a point to choose the staff herself and she'll be damned if her cook can't make italian food

Visits the castle on a pretty regular basis and is also quite liked by Alcina (who's thankful that there's at least ONE other woman among the lords)

Heisenberg visits her on occasion bc he's a little more friendly here and they sit down on the porch chatting because Donna doesn't want cigar smoke in her house and he's like okay cool

She works with Moreau from time to time since a lot of the plants she grows can be used for medical purposes

Miranda is as cold and distant as she is in general but has a very slight preference for Donna. If not for anything else, because she knows to do her job and not start bickering

She's the one that got Bela into keeping plants and taught her some italian phrases in various dialects

Donna befriended the owner of the sewing shop from the town, who she meets on the occasional trip for some new supplies that she'd rather get herself

Regularly spends time together with the gardeners (aka Laura and Samuel) tending to the plants outside

Has gotten quite close to Laura throughout the years as her teacher figure where she makes a point of overseeing her infection process and the following reports herself. She even pulls a little "Cadou sharing" similarly to what she does to her dolls, which results in Laura's similar mutation. Call it an act of wanting a connection or slight possessiveness, both could be equally right.

#asks #donna beneviento #headcanons

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cowboyjen68 · 2 years

Note

hey jen! love your blog! if you dont mind, have a question for you... but heres a bit of an explanation first; im a lesbian in my 20s from the rural midwest. im sure you know what i mean when i say there arent tons of us around here. so even though i desperately want lesbian friends, any time i come across another lesbian out in the world, i get weird. i want to be friends but i get so intimidated and scared of rejection that i become almost territorial about it? like my place in the world is being taken or something. its hard to describe!

have you experienced anything like this? did you grow out of it? i feel bad about it because like i said, i want friends! but it seems so difficult to get out of my own head when it comes to stuff like this.

Fear of isolation is a common and nasty reality for many lesbians even in very open cities. It is the reason I, as many others, get into friendships or relationships that lasted WAY longer than they should have. We stick around because we know we crave connections with other lesbians and that need often overrides our common sense. We stay with someone because they are a lesbians not because they have other qualities that bring us happiness. I stayed 17 years when about 2 would have been plenty.

In college i was not even out but desperately clingy to others I preceived as gay or lesbian. I stayed friends with one gay man, loyal to him to a fault, finally decidiing his continued unhealthy behavior was too much. Of course by 22 I had other gay and lesbian friends so it was easier to cut that tie. Otherwise, who knows how much I would have put up with?

Think of it this way, in high school we naturally find others like ourselves, all teens do, in order to feel like we are a part of a group. Groups in elemetary, Jr and High school are important to our "survivial". They offer protection, shared experiences to help us grow and learn, social skills and how to navigate relationships as we moved towards adulthood.

Now, as young lesbians, we have a limited amount of others "like us" so we find friendship groups based on other things like location, (where we live in proximity) hobbies, sports, socio-ecomonic class and even just the classes we share. In order to maintain these valuable friendships we often hide our sexuality because it is better to hide it than endanger premade connections that, as humans, we perceive as necessary to our survival. Humans are naturally social animals with a need to be in a group.

As we grown older and expand our friend pool outside of "all stuck in the same school for 12 years" we find other lesbians and we really crave sharing that part of ourselves, or at least not hiding it or keeping it on the down low. We have built up lesbian friendship as the "goal" and when a goal has been unattainable but is now in reach, it causes a fair amount of stress and anxiety that we are so close but could still blow it.

I can tell you from experience, you will not like all lesbians and you will love your straight/bi friends whom see you as you. Lesbian friends are amazing and it is nice to share that one thing, same sex attraction, because you understand so much more about how you both experience life. It is okay to meet lesbians and not become life long friends. Sometimes the connection is short and that is okay. You will find lesbian friends who become like family if that is what you want. Your over excitement and awkwardness is something most of them will also have gone through and will help you get to the other side to comfort and trust.

My first girlfriend took me to a woman's festival (I was very unsure about that whole deal) and in the process I met many lesbians who are still my friends today, including that ex and her wife. The midwest is full of women's festivals, small concert venues where women artists attracted the lesbian crowd and Iowa City has one of the oldest and best lesbian archives at the University. Midwest lesbians are a special breed.

So try to relax as you make friends knowing there are others and every lesbian you meet will not be the only lesbian you will every meet.

Subscribe to Lesbian Connection, based in the midwest (www.lconline.org). Free to lesbians if you can't pay. They list other lesbians, businesses, festivals, vacation spots and rentals and a host of other ways and places to surround yourself with lesbian energy.

#lesbian #lesbian friendships

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quietmyfearswith · 3 years

Text

the mission ; syverson x stucky x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count — 4,350 words

warnings — SMUT, double penetration, triple penetration??? oral sex (giving and receiving), foursome, unprotected sex(dont do this), swear words, competition(ish)

pairing — syverson x stucky x fem!reader

a/n — DNI IF YOU ARE UNDER 18,, pretty self-indulgent so what about it,, wanted to post this as my first fic for 2021 so we can start the year with a bang but hey the year is still new so hope this counts,, feedback is appreciated

masterlist

“Tell me again, why are we meeting up with this person?” If you told people that there were times that Steve — Captain America as most of them are most familiar with — was egotistical enough to the point that he believed that intel from outsiders weren’t needed, they wouldn’t believe you unless they saw how he was currently. When the military told them that some of their men have discovered remnants of HYDRA, Steve was fine with that vague lead since he thought that they could take it from there. However, his pride took a hit when the military insisted that one of their men be sent over to the compound to assist them.

Y/N then scheduled for Captain Syverson to meet with Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes so they could discuss what the special operations captain saw. Sighing irritatedly, the assistant of the Avengers paused in the middle of the hallway so she could look the super soldier in the eye, “Look Captain, I know you think you can do this alone — you’ve proven to me and your fellow Avengers that you can — but the military and government believes that you need more hands on deck, okay?”

Crossing his arms, Steve opened his mouth to argue but opted not to, “Good, now behave okay? Bucky’s almost done training the recruits; so he’ll be joining us shortly.” As she walked away from where they stood, the captain bit his lip as he watched her ass and legs strut away in the green and white plaid dress that she was donning. Hearing her fingers snap together brought him back to reality and made him follow her steps.

“Captain Rogers, meet Captain Syverson from the military’s special operations,” Y/N introduced the two men to each other, who were visibly appalled at the thought of having to shake hands, but a stern look from the girl standing between them prompted the Texan captain to hold out his hand to which the Brooklyn captain shook briefly but with a tight grip before letting go. “We appreciate you coming here, Captain Syverson.”

His response surprised Y/N, but in a good way, and she smiled brightly at the simple interaction the two had. “You can call me Sy; only prefer being called Captain by those who are under me.” The wink he sent the only girl present in the room gave her the implication that there was a double entendre in his statement; whereas the enhanced super soldier caught on and was displeased with how he was hitting on Y/N.

Puffing out his chest and rested his hands on his belt buckle, “Well Sy, why don’t you share with us what it is you saw.” Nodding, Sy grabbed the folder he brought with him and handed it over to the Captain; Y/N was setting up the laptop and projector that was in the conference room. Steve skimmed through the files as Y/N displayed some of the satellite images that were taken. “Have you or any of your team members been inside the facility?”

Shaking his head no Sy explained, “We didn’t dare to. Though I had some soldiers stake out and in their week of monitoring they didn’t notice anyone come in or out.” Placing the folder on the desk, Steve instructed Y/N to show more of the pictures and she complied, “How come you didn’t get in and check it out? Isn’t that what a captain does?”

“Steve,” Y/N scolded him as she looked at him with a warning look but despite her piercing gaze he remained unfazed as he gave a challenging stare to the other captain — one which Sy wasn’t afraid of. “A captain’s duty is to lead his soldiers and make the right calls; it wasn’t our mission to look for the abandoned facility but we found it anyway. We just ensured that there wouldn’t be any criminals that we could possibly encounter that would interfere with our mission.”

The tension was thick in the air when Steve gulped down — not wanting to admit that Sy made a valid point. Striving to cut the tension in the room, Y/N stood up as she spoke, “Okay, great points. Should you plan to check the place out,” She was talking to Steve who was intently looking at her with a look he’s never given her before; she struggled to continue with her point with how intense his stare was, “Secretary Ross decided that it might be better for you to tag along,” Sy nodded as he was being talked to.

“Just me? Or would my men be included?” Sitting back down on her chair she browsed through some of the files she had prepared for their meeting as the two men watched her like a hawk, “They want you out on the field along with Steve and Bucky; but your other men can help behind the scenes.”

Displeased with the new information, Steve crossed his arms from where he was seated, “No, he is not joining us on the field,” He was now standing up, as if he was trying to assert his dominance and authority over the other captain who seemed undaunted as he stood tall. “Why the hell not?”

“Jesus Christ, stop it, the two of you!” Y/N held out her hands to create space between the two charging bodies, her hands landed on their pecs and she had to stop herself from enjoying the feel of their skin against her fingertips, “You both need to calm your asses down! I don't know what it is about each other that ticked you off but you guys are gonna have to work together. Now, why don’t we calm down and try to get along?”

Running a hand through his buzz cut hair, Sy was the first one to speak since he wanted to charm Y/N, “I’m really sorry about my behavior, love,” His larger hand reached for hers and placed a kiss on the back of her palm; Steve sharply looked at how affectionately the other captain gazed at the assistant who had been responsible for his orgams without her even knowing it, “I’m gonna be on my best from now on; especially when I work with the former soldiers.”

Having enough of what he said Steve made his way to the two of them, breaking off their clasped hands so he could hold Y/N’s, planting himself between the two he gruffly said, “You know what bothers me? Is the way you’re hitting on Y/N.” Sy could not hold back the smirk as he somewhat felt a sick pride rush over him seeing the infamous hero getting riled up because of him, “Don’t recall you being her boyfriend; so really I can flirt with her as much as I want.”

She doesn’t know why, but Y/N was extremely aroused with the way they discussed her as if she weren’t there. Ultimately it was the way they both battled for her really made her panties dampen. “Who would you rather fuck?” The blunt question had her jaw dropping in shock and disbelief; she always knew how Steve was direct to the point, but never expected him to be straightforward in a sexual context.

“I don’t know,” Her eyes darted back and forth from the two captains, “You’re both very attractive; but I never imagined both of you being attracted to me.” It was difficult for her to hide the faint traces of her insecurities which the two men were quick to pick up. Steve caressed her hand that he held as he sincerely cooed at her, “How can I not want you? And I’m not just talking about your divine body. Your patience in handling us is unlike any other. You’re extremely compassionate and kind. When I look at you I see a woman whose beauty on the outside matches the beauty within.”

The other hand that Sy held was being placed with a kiss that despite being gentle was contradicted with the rough sensations of his beard, “I’ve only known you for a while but I have to second the motion; you are a force to be reckoned with. While there are parts of you that clearly cannot be tamed and that your fire was meant to remained ablaze,” He hoped that she got his reference of her dangerous line of work and with the small nod she gave him affirmed so, “But you also have the tranquility that a mother possesses.”

A small smile broke out of Y/N’s face after their speeches; but the serene moment quickly faded when the super soldier brought her hand to his crotch, letting the wide-eyed girl feel the hard on that he frequently spotted around her. “This is just one of the other pieces of evidence I have about how great you are.” Walking up to stand beside Steve, Sy grabbed her other hand and pressed against his own staring erection as he smugly boasted, “But this is a bigger evidence of how much I appreciate you, sunshine.”

“I’m flattered,” Y/N nervously began as her eyes darted back and forth from the two large men, pulling away her hands from their hardened cock as she felt incredibly shy about the whole ordeal, but it wasn’t an answer that pleased either of them or answered Steve’s earlier question. “But the question is still left unanswered Y/N,” The blonde man to her right reminded her, “Who would you rather fuck?”

Gulping down her nervousness before answering, “Honestly? I want you both.” Even though she shyly confessed that, it was all the fuel both captains needed for their ego as they silently just had established a competition between themselves — get her to feel confident about herself as they both intend on making her so cum hard the only thing she’ll remember is their name. Steve brought a finger underneath her chin, lifting her gaze up to match his hooded eyes, “You’re beautiful, Y/N,” He affirmed to her before bringing their lips to touch gently. Eyes closing as the super soldier savored the feeling of her lips that he's been dreaming for so long; and his dreams couldn’t even compare to the feel and taste of her lips.

As their lips pulled away from the steamy kiss, Sy tore away her lips and planted his own lips against hers, “Absolutely stunning, one of a kind,” Were the words he spoke as their lips locked and tongues danced. Feeling his beard tickle her neck as his lips trailed down her jaw and neck, she giggled lightly and opened her eyes to view Steve whose eyes darkened — though she didn’t know that it was due to his lust and longing for her, as well as the jealousy due to the scene unfolding in front of him. Pulling away from the kiss, Sy then lifted her up to the table and sat her down. Without even speaking, he made his move to undress her — grabbing the cloth by her cleavage, ripping the dress in two to expose how she chose to forego a bra and was only wearing a poor excuse of panties; the Texas raised captain could only smirk as he went down on his knees while he slid her lace undergarment down her legs.

“What a devious little thing you are,” Her attention was shifted to the Brooklyn-raised captain as he spoke; she instinctively spread her legs which didn’t go unnoticed by Sy who smirked in appreciation before lunging forward to lick her through her panties — causing her to gasp out loud, rolling her eyes at the pleasure. Annoyed with how he was being undermined, Steve grabbed for Y/N’s cheeks and kissed her fervently, making him moan in bliss as the kiss exceeded his dreams and expectations. “This what you want? Want two men proving to you how goddamn beautiful you are?”

The question was rhetorical, but somehow she found herself whining as she nodded against his lips where their lips met for a heated kiss. Grinning at her state, Steve ended their kiss as his lips trailed down her chin and to her neck, searching for her sweet spot. Just as he sucked on the skin below her jaw, she tried to squeeze her legs together to alleviate the arousal she was feeling — but it only made Sy smirk and encourage him to push aside her panty and directly get a taste of her.

“I’m gonna taste this pretty pussy okay? Why don’t you show Steve over here what that pretty mouth can do besides ending tension okay?” With a shaky sigh, she nodded as her eyes watched as Steve got on the table, kneeling beside her, all while he undid his belt and pulled the zipper down to free his cock. “I’ve been fantasizing about what that mouth would feel like ever since you joined,” His filthy confession made her bring her thighs together again to relieve her of the ache she felt; but all it did was make her feel again the trimmed hair of Sy who was placing gentle kitten licks on her pussy, “And now I’ll find out if you’re as any good like I thought you would be,” Served as his final warning before kneeling on the table by her head and feeding his cock to her waiting mouth.

Groans were heard from the two captains but for similarly different reasons; Steve loved how his cock slid down her throat easily without gagging, and her hollowed cheeks and expert tongue providing him pleasure but it was also the way her one hand was sliding from his balls to the base of his cock that almost made him cum. Whereas Sy couldn’t get enough of how sweet her juices were; he was sliding two fingers in and out of her, and everytime he pushed them right back it became harder for him to do so with how her walls were resisting them — it made him think about how her walls would resist his cock. “You like this don’t you? Like being used for our pleasure?”

A pathetic whine was all that she could let out seeing as her mouth was preoccupied with Steve’s cock was prohibiting her from speaking clearly. “You’re too invested that you can’t even remove my cock from your mouth to answer properly,” Feeling her nod against his cock just added to the bliss he felt. Shaking his head as he licked her cunt and fingered her pussy, Sy loved it when her thighs were rubbing hard against his beard and some of her juices were sticking to his facial hair.

Y/N was surprised when Steve pulled his cock of her mouth, “Not yet baby, I’m not cumming in your mouth just yet.” With his lips still pressed tightly against her pussy lips, Sy smirked at him, “Or maybe you just can’t cum at all.” That statement reminded both men that even though they intended to make her feel how beautiful she was, they were still competing for her. Sitting up with the support of her elbows, Y/N watched closely as Steve grabbed Sy by the shirt, dragging him away from her pussy, resulting in him sitting up on the floor on his bum. He planted himself on one of the conference chairs and once settled, grabbed Y/N’s hips so she was straddling hovering his cock, “It’s because I’d rather cum inside her pussy.”

With one hand on her hip, the other one guided his cock in her tight canal easily. “Oh fuck, you’re so big,” She moaned as she rested her hands on his shoulders as she rode him slowly, getting used to his size. Calloused hands were on her ass as Steve guided the pace in which they were fucking. His lips were pressing firmly against her breasts, leaving his traes of desire on them. As her eyes were closed in pleasure, she didn’t see how Sy was freeing himself from the restrains of his pants; after doing so he stood up from the floor and sat down on the conference table.

“You’re gonna suck my cock while you ride his dick; so turn around,” It took a while before she did so, but Y/N had to push Steve’s face gently from where his mouth had been enveloping her nipple. She turned around to face Sy who was stroking his cock with hunger on his eyes; moving her hair from her face, she rested her hands on the knees of the man in front of her before lowering her lips to wrap it around the tip of his cock. “That’s a good girl,” He sighed out in pleasure, one hand finding purchase on her hair.

Jealous at the thought of having to share her or her attention, Steve kicked off the chair he was sitting on and stood on his feet and helped Y/N to do the same. With her bent over, the super soldier grabbed for her hips and rammed in and out of her pussy with short and rapid thrusts. Sy allowed her to take control of how she wanted to suck him, but he couldn’t help himself as he thrusted his cock in her mouth a few times, relishing in the moans she let out when he did so. “See what you do to us?” Steve asked as he felt his tip graze her sensitive spot, feeling her thighs shiver leaving him to hold both thighs in his hands.

“You make us feral,” Sy continued his train of thought as his hand added pressure on the nape of your neck, making you take him deeper, “You’re so goddamn beautiful that you make us lose all logic.” It was amazing to him how her tiny throat could accommodate all of him, and the way her nails dug into his thighs only added to his pleasure.

Bucky had just finished his training session with the recruits and was dying to get to his room to shower off the filth and sweat. Before getting to do that he first had to meet with a captain that was said to have intel about HYDRA; so imagine his surprise when he enters the conference room and sees three people fucking and not discussing mission details.

A man with a buzz cut — he inferred that was Sy — was sitting on the desk with his head thrown back in bliss as he was being given a blowjob by Y/N — the Avengers’ secretary whom he had been fantasizing about — while she in turn was being fucked in the pussy by Steve. “Well if I knew the meeting would look like this I would’ve ended the training session.”

Steve just smirked at his best friend who was leaning against the wall, “This is Sy,” He nodded to the man sitting at the desk who waved with his free hand from Y/N’s hair. Approaching the three of them Bucky inquired, “She any good at sucking cock?”

“The best; gag reflex is practically non-existent,” Steve recalled as he was now rubbing her clit, loving the way she was squirming against his body. Her hands were settled on Sy’s thighs, anchoring herself and leaving nail marks on his skin. “Her throat is tight but I doubt it’s tighter than her pussy.”

Bucky grabbed her hair to stop her from sucking on Sy’s cock, “Never pegged you to be a willing cumdump; you just needed a lot of cocks to fulfill you huh?” Despite her face having a mixture of saliva and the precum of both captains, she bashfully smiled at the sergeant. Stroking her cheek gently, the Texan captain demanded a verbal answer, “If he asks you a question you are expected to answer, beautiful.” Feeling the force of Steve’s harsh thrust, she managed to let out a choked out response, “Yes! I need a lot of cocks to satisfy me.”

Halting his assault on her pussy, Steve slid his cock out of her, “I’m gonna fuck her ass, Sy you get her pussy, Buck you start with her mouth first.” When Sy pulled her off his cock, Y/N was able to gulp nervously at the thought of taking all them at once; however she wasn’t given enough time to react to it as Sy was dragging her to ride him as he sat at a chair. Carefully, he helped her descent on his cock as the man groaned against her neck when he felt how her warm and wet she was, “Did the captain really fuck you, beautiful? You’re still so fucking tight.”

“I did, and I fucked her good,” Steve asserted as he lined his cock up behind her other hole, “That’s just another reason why you’re beautiful, doll. You’re just so fucking tight no matter how fucked you are,” And to emphasize his point, he slide his tip inside her ass and stilled upon feeling her walls constricting around him. “Goddamn, doll,” Steve breathed out as he shoved more of his cock inside her, his whole cock now shoved deep in her ass.

Her mouth hung agape as she felt two cocks having a go in her — loving the way she was never fully empty since when one thrust out, another slammed right back in. Taking advantage of her opened mouth, Bucky stood by the side of the chair and presented his cock to her, “Take it all in princess.” Like an obedient girl, she did wrap her lips around the ridge of his cock and began sucking on it as best she could.

“See what you do, doll? You make us go ravenous for you,” Steve emphasized his point as he mercilessly thrusts in and out of her ass despite her walls clinging to him, begging him to ease down. Agreeing with the captain, Sy sucked on her nipple harder as he thrusted sharply on her pussy, “Make us want to shower you with cum to prove how divine you are.”

Stroking her face gently contradicted how ruthless Bucky treated her mouth as his balls were slapping her chin repeatedly — allowing some of her drool and his precum to fall graceless from her mouth — before adding, “Only a pretty girl like you can make three soldiers fall apart.”

And fall apart was exactly what was bound to happen as Steve planted his hands on her hips so he could gain enough leverage to fuck her ass relentlessly, until his balls slammed against the rim of her opening, until he felt himself come undone with one final thrust all the way inside her. “Fucking hell,” He panted out against her back as he felt himself unload almost a year of desire inside her.

With much reluctance, Steve pulled out of her ass and rested against the conference table to catch his breath and recover. This then allowed Sy to knead his hands into the skin of her ass so he could move her up and down his cock, chasing his own impending orgasm. “Cum with me, beautiful,” He harshly demanded against her skin as moved her in time with his thrusts, “Let me feel you fall apart and come on my cock.” And to prove how badly he wanted — no, needed — to feel her hug his cock even tighter as she spasmed in pleasure — her to cum, he slid in and out of her at a rapid pace until she was clawing at his chest and he felt her body tense up then relax as she coated his cock with cum.

Moaning out at the relief of her release, Bucky enjoyed the added vibrations on his cock — adding to the pleasure as her tongue licked and swirled around the underside of his cock — while watching her ride out her orgasm. It wasn’t long before Sy too stilled his movements so he could release his seed in her. “Fuck so good!” He yelled out as he stayed inside her, relishing the feel of their combined juices. Seeing how her mouth went slack and her lips weren’t sucking on his cock anymore, the sergeant pulled out and stroked his cock as he rubbed the tip of his cock against her nipple. Shivering at the sensation, she stared at him with doe eyes as her dainty hands wrapped around the base of his cock and his balls, “Cum for me, Bucky.” It was the way she sultrily whispered it that made him throw his head back and moan as he covered her gorgeous tits with his cum.

Loving the way her breasts were marked with his cum, she tried to milk more out of the super soldier by rubbing the tip of his cock with her thumb as the other hand fondled his balls gently. “You’re one special girl,” Steve spoke as he watched intently the scene in front of him. Smiling at the praise, Y/N stopped stroking Bucky’s cock when she milked him already. After leaning down to press a chaste, sweet kiss on Sy’s lips, she removed his cock from where it was deeply planted on her — with a moan falling from her lips — before standing up and heading to where Steve was in order to do the same.

“Thank you for proving how beautiful I am,” She sweetly thanked them once she pulled away from the kiss. “Now hold on,” Bucky spoke as he made his way to stand beside Y/N, “I think you’re gonna need more proof of how beautiful you are.”

Catching his drift, Sy sat up straighter in the chair before agreeing, “Exactly, and we might need to give you individually are our own reasons.” She held her breath once more as she felt Steve pepper kisses on her shoulder, “Think you can handle us individually, doll?”

Desperately, she nodded as she enjoyed the feel of his lips kissing her skin. With two fingers grabbing onto her chin, Bucky made her face him, “Good, ‘cause I haven’t been inside that lovely pussy and ass of yours. Oh, and I got a long list of what makes you fucking beautiful.”

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potteresque-ire · 3 years

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hello, ily metas! thank you for taking the time for them. i hope you dont mind an ask with two follow up questions to your metas i'm curious about: 1) has mxtx rly been sentenced? i have seen others also share this news but other fans have quickly dismissed and gotten pissed at these reports for being fake news that are bad for mxtx, and as fearmongering. 2) for those who want to support yizhan but not the ccp, do you have advice how to navigate fan support and interaction with their media?

Hello! I apologise for the late reply! You’ve brought up some interesting points, so please forgive me for responding with an essay.

First, about MXTX — This is a follow-up to this post.

Unfortunately, this is all we got—all everyone has got about MXTX’s current situation: on 2020/11/10, she was sentenced in Hangzhou Shang Cheng District’s People’s Court (杭州市上城區人民法院). No details were given on her verdict, due to “人民法院認為不宜在互聯網公布的其它情形” (“The People’s Court decided it inappropriate to announce further details on the internet”). Here’s a link with the screenshot that showed all the information released about the case that day.

There are enough copies of similar screenshots to this one online, with the differences dependent on where the publisher pulled the information from the same website: 中國裁判文書網, an online archive of verdicts run by China Supreme People’s Court. There’re few reasons, therefore, to believe the information on the screenshot was fake. The link I used was Sina’s Financial News, which I believe is trustworthy enough for China’s standard.

It is also important to note, of course, that two scenarios may still render this screenshot irrelevant. 1) The verdict, which was not mentioned in the screenshot, was “not guilty” and 2) the name listed in the case, 袁依楣, was not MXTX at all.

Few have seemed to suspect 2) to be a possibility. Her real name might have been prior knowledge among some fans, or the combination of her surname and city of residence. 1) has been the where the concern / debate is.

I included China’s rate of conviction in the original post for this reason: acquittal is exceedingly rare (<0.1%) for the arrested in China. This short article discussed some reasons.

So, is it possible that MXTX is now a free woman? Yes. Is it likely? Not at all.

Still, since the probability that MXTX is imprisoned isn’t 100%, is spreading this news smearing her name? Fear-mongering?

I can only answer for myself, Anon, but my answer is no for both questions, which is why I’ve felt comfortable posting about her case. MXTX’s alleged “crimes” are things we already knew she did, or common practices among Chinese IP writers. We know she penned MDZS and other BL works; we know MDZS, in particular, has an 18+ element. She was said to have sold merch based on her works, but that wasn’t unusual at all for writers in Jinjiang, where she published her writing. Even those who don’t like her have seemed to agree that it was her writing that got her into trouble, not some other crimes she could’ve committed.

IMO, a guilty verdict doesn’t tell us as much about her as it does about the judicial system, the business practices of her country. It’s worth re-mentioning that media giants such as Tencent are closely tied to the government; Tencent’s WeChat, for example, is part of China’s Great Firewall and is used for surveillance, for censorship and removal of political dissidents. What MXTX’s case hints at is this: the government has (very likely) convicted her, while its close allies are continuing to use her works—works that got her into legal trouble in the first place—to make money. Some fans of MXTX have questioned if the courts have censored the details of the case to save the embarrassment of the rich and powerful, calling what has happened to MXTX 人血饅頭 (“human blood steamed buns”), an idiom used to describe the act of profiting out of someone elses’ life.

As for fear-mongering, here are my thoughts ~ it would’ve been fear-mongering if the public has access to the facts, and not years after they happen. Specifically, it would’ve been fear-mongering to leak the rumours of MXTX’s sentencing, when the judicial system is transparent and the case details will soon be published for all to see. Why? Because “fear” comes from the unknown, and “-monger” is the unnecessary promotion, stirring-up of this fear.

To promote, stir up anything, one needs a reference level. The reference level in this scenario is this: what is the level of fear if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? Of course, this knowledge doesn’t make MXTX’s experience any easier or more just; it doesn’t cause her less fear. However, she isn’t the target audience of this likely-to-be-true rumour. The target audience is the public and in particular, those who consume and/or generate BL material online.

What is the level of fear among this population if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? It’s the (relative) comfort in knowing the government’s stance on what they do: how the administration feels about BL, 18+ BL, and their distribution methods. The comfort comes from having the right information to decide how to act accordingly. For example, if I’m a BL writer based in China and I know the court has found MXTX guilty of bypassing publishing houses but not of writing M/M romance, then I’ll know to not produce paper versions of my writing, but I can keep writing.

This reference level of fear is unavailable here, however, since the government has decided to withhold all details about the case. Without this reference level, fear-mongering becomes a ... difficult to define concept.

Are these likely-to-be-true rumours agents of fear, or are they hints on how to survive in a country that lacks transparency?

Continuing with the example of I being a Chinese BL writer, since I cannot expect to hear more facts about MXTX, this rumour is all I’ve got in choosing what to do with my hobby, in deciding whether it is safe to continue. As I’m aware that a rumour isn’t a fact, I first research on the rumour’s likelihood of truth (similar to what I’ve done for MXTX’s case), and cross my fingers that I don’t get it wrong.

By doing so, I’m turning these rumours into my survival guide.

Is it risky? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But this is the way of life for people who live under secretive, authoritarian governments—the authoritarian element making it impossible to demand more facts. It may take people outside such regimes some time to get used to—to the lifestyle, and to the idea that, in a place where news is often synonymous with propaganda, rumours are breadcrumbs of truth that should be sieved through with equal care as one would sieve through the news. Heeding, considering the probable truth of what the authority has deemed to be fear-mongering rumours can be a matter of literal life and death.

Take...COVID. (I apologize for bringing up this unpleasant topic!)

I shall link to an article about the early spread of COVID in Wuhan here and ask: were Dr. Li Wenliang and the seven other doctors fear-mongering? Wuhanese chose to believe in the government, but at what cost to them? What would the world be like today if they took the early COVID rumours as true and masked up like Hong Kongers—Hong Kongers who weren’t any smarter or better, but had simply learned their painful lessons from the 2003 SARS epidemic?

(Why hadn’t the Wuhanese learned? Because the government has long changed the narrative of SARS, taught their people that the illness originated in Hong Kong.)

(How can one learn from past mistakes if one pretends those mistakes never existed?)

You must be wondering, Anon, why I’m talking about COVID when your next question is about YiZhan. The death of Dr Li Wenliang on February 7th, 2020, sparked a demand for freedom of speech rarely seen in internet-age China. Its fury, its ferocity forced the government to change its stance on Dr Li, again an unusual move. Since January 2020, Weibo had been censoring COVID news and opinion pieces that shedded a negative light to the central government; after the death of Dr Li, the censorship apparatus stepped up, making way for the propaganda machine to kick in later and change the narrative of the pandemic.

Here are some questions without definite answers, but may be food for thought for YiZhan fans:

1) While the Chinese government’s censorship apparatus (including Weibo) might have silenced the voices of dissent, of mourning on the surface, was it more likely to pacify, or fuel the anger of netizens, many of whom had lost loved ones, many of whom were still under quarantine?

2) Less than three weeks after the death of Dr Li, a group of fans demanded even *more* censorship from the government—the closing of an internet website that had been seen as a relatively free space to express oneself. How would these netizens react, even though they knew little about these fans or their idol?

(It was, in the context of the massive silencing of COVID discussions in China, that I learned about the ban of AO3. There had been rumours that the government would censor more websites on 2020/03/01. When I read about AO3′s ban on 2/27, my thoughts were 1) Hmm. This came two days early. 2) AO3? Really?)

(I wouldn’t watch The Untamed or know who Gg was until several months later.)

Now, Anon, this is a good time to get to your CCP (Chinese Communist Party) question.

The very short answer is no. There’s no way to support YiZhan without, to a certain level, supporting the CCP. As mentioned above, the media companies are all part of China’s surveillance system. Weibo is where freedom of speech is curbed. Our two boys have been part of the propaganda machine; the BBC article linked above had a tiny picture of Gg on it, as he was a performer in the Hero in Harm’s Way (最美逆行者), a “real-life based” drama on COVID. DD just did a show glorying the Chinese police force (and here’s a video of the same force welding doors to lock in COVID-stricken residents).

Nonetheless, here’s my first advice: please do not beat yourself up for supporting YiZhan!

Gg and Dd are people who live within the system, inside the Great Firewall. They understand the world the way their government has taught them to—not only in school, but also in the news and media. Like most youths in every country, they’re patriotic—and to expect them to be otherwise, especially because of information they don’t have, is both unrealistic and unfair. Even if they do know about certain things impermissible within the Firewall, in China (as in many Communists countries), openly expressing / performing one’s proper political leanings (ie. loyalty towards CCP) is among the most important pre-requisites for any job. This has been especially true for c-ent in recent years .

They, like most of their countrymen, are doing what they have to do.

In this case, it comes to us, our decisions on how to interact with their works. How should we deal with them, their propaganda elements?

The answer, of course, varies from person to person. Personally, I’ve chosen the approaches of “immunisation” and “restriction”. By “immunisation”, I mean learning about as much historical and sociopolitical facts from non-CCP sponsored sources; this is understandably difficult for someone who doesn’t already have some familiarity with the culture and politics of the region, and/or cannot read the language.

Restriction means limiting my consumption of media produced by China. I avoid shows (dramas, documentaries, variety etc) featuring topics that are likely to contain heavy propaganda, such as the military, the police, Hong Kong/Macao/Taiwan, and of course, anything pertaining to the CCP, from its rise to its governance of the country.

In general, I’m wary of all information presented about the post-monarchy years (post 1911), even though CCP wouldn’t begin its reign until after WWII (1949). Why so early? 1) Because CCP was formed in 1921 and so its glorification requires a change of narrative since then; 2) because the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang, KMT), which governed China between 1912 and 1949 (the so-called Republican Era 民國), would end up exiling to and setting up a new government in Taiwan.

How much propaganda should one expect in shows depicting the country post-1911? The current TV and webdrama directives (previously discussed in this post) offer some hints. Here are my translations of the relevant items:

D7) Dramas about the Republican era: Glorification of the Republican Era, the Beiyang Government, and Warlord Era requires strict control.

D10) Crime drama: crime drama is the focus of content auditing. The Ministry of Public Security (Pie note: in charge of law enforcement, ie, police) will be involved in the audit. The process of crime solving cannot be exposed; criminal psychology and motivations can however be depicted in detail. Undercover police cannot use drugs or kill, or damage the image of the police force. Criminals must be punished by law.

D12) Dramas featuring realistic topics: realistic topics must adhere to the correct world view, philosophy of life and moral values. They cannot place too strong an emphasis on social conflicts, must showcase the beautiful lives of the commoners. Regular folks should display larger-than-life sentiments and aspirations; they can pursue wealth, but must use proper means to do so; they cannot damage the public image of specific employment types, groups and social organisations. Do not preach negative or decadent world view, philosophy of life and moral values. Do not exaggerate, amplify social issues; do not over showcase, display the darker sides of society; do not preach affluence, avoid things that have no basis in real life.

D16) Dramas featuring the Revolution (Pie note: CCP’s coming to power): 2019 is the publicity period of the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. Although the “Three Importances” (important revolution, important people, important events) are still encouraged, the National Radio and Television Administration requires all departments, at all levels, to strengthen the control of content and the overall management of the industry, and focus on the auditing of content pertaining to the Sino-Japanese war and espionage dramas.

These directives (as those translated in the other post) are as vague as they are restrictive, and to err on the side of caution, production companies tend to “overachieve” to avoid going against headwinds at the censorship board. This means their products have a tendency to malign the Republican Era (D7). It means they will likely twist history in trying to depict the CCP as faultless heroes (D16). It means they'll probably present a utopian-like society and call it reality-based (D12), a society in which the good guys share the same values as the CCP and always win (D10).

Yes, my “restriction” means I skipped Hero in Harm’s Way. It means I’ve never listened to Gg’s version of 我和我的祖國 despite my absolute adoration of his voice. It means I just missed Dd’s performance in the law enforcement celebration event. It means I don’t plan on watching Being A Hero and Ace Troops.

So here’s where I’ve drawn the line, Anon, but it doesn’t mean that’s what anyone should do. Only you alone can decide where your own comfort zone is. I write these metas in the hopes that it can offer a … gateway for those who’d like to understand, with a more telescopic lens, Gg and Dd’s country—a country that holds a particularly strong hold over its citizens’ fate including, yes, their romantic fate. It’s not my wish to impose my opinions on anyone.

If I have other hopes… It’s this. Please, as long as it’s safe for you to talk, do not self-censor—especially about facts, especially on sites like Tumblr or Twitter that have long been banned by the Chinese government. I don’t mean one should go about and confront those who insist on a different version of reality. To undo opinions rooted in years of education, IMO, the process has to be voluntary, and the information is already at the fingertips of those who’re surfing these sites and wish to learn more. More importantly, open discussions of these topics may be risky for those who still have close ties to China, and keeping them safe should always be the top priority.

What I mean is simply this ~ please do not feel obliged to agree with every perspective presented in YiZhan’s work just because you support the leads. Please do not feel you must remain silent about the CCP—its good, bad and ugly—just because your favourite stars happen to come from the country it’s ruling. And please remember: “Chinese”, as a term, has always included people who live outside CCP’s control, many of whom still fully embrace the culture, traditions and values of Historical China, a 5000-years long string of dynasties with shifting borders, ethnic makeup and customs. The Untamed is a mainland Chinese production, yes, but its genre, its manner of presenting certain traditions, wouldn’t have been developed, or flourished, without the diaspora. The CCP has only been the ruling party of one country, the People’s Republic of China, for 71 years, and as a party with foreign (soviet) roots and a record of destroying the pillar of the country’s tradition, Confucianism, it doesn’t own a monopolistic say on how every Chinese should think and act—no matter how much it insists it does—or how everyone should think and speak about China and its people.

It isn’t qualified.

#Anonymous #pie metas #pie answers #BJYX #yizhan

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