#i fucking hate paranoia

[semi-precious-stoner]

So there's a weird smell in my camper right now. I am sleeping alone and I have no idea what it is

#if i dont reply to this in the morning i either forgot or i am regreting not knowing the smell of carbon monoxide #i fucking hate paranoia #i could be perfectly fine or maybd ill be drad by morning? #death mention tw

[hamartia-grander]

Friends I am once again asking you to stop reblogging shit like "reblog for luck" or "reblog in 5 min or something bad will happen" etc etc it literally preys on OCD and paranoia and mine spirals when I see this shit so please stop reblogging it I'm begging you

#Ocd #paranoia #Fuck reblog bait I fucking hate it it's DESIGNED to prey on people's internal mental struggles like come ON

[superhell]

house’s gun. and house’s sword. are both his father’s. something something there will always be an angry man in your house

#the only relics he keeps of his father are things of violence the only things of violence he keeps are things of his father. right ok ok ok #john house u will be seeing me in hell i will be beating the absolute shit out of you. so you know #this is a john winchester hate blog and now also a john house hate blog. #what is it with me and fucked up bisexual men from 2000s shows with godawful fathers named john who shaped their kids lives in a big way #house #gregory house #on this post. he gets his full name in the tags. hes earned that much #john house #<-fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you #house md #hatecrimes md #8x08 perils of paranoia

[martyrbat]

enough — batman secret files (2018) #1

(ID below cut!)

[ID: A short story titled Enough. It centers around Bruce Wayne being alone at a little cabin out in the middle of some woods on top of a snow-capped mountain. Bruce internally narrates throughout the entire story. The barren cabin is lonesome amongst the pristine, white snow as Bruce enters the cold, muted building. Inside there's several books, oil lamps, a stone fireplace, and candles on basic, open faced wooden furniture – indicating that the house has no electricity. The cabin is one story and has an open floorplan with a single upstairs bedroom, which has only a ladder leading up to the small loft. There's a chest underneath a window and Bruce sits on the old, yellow couch in front of the blazing fireplace.

He thinks to himself, ‘There're rumors that somewhere, in Gotham's most beautiful, snow-topped mountains, a monster is running around. I have a suspicion Man-Bat is behind the strange activity. Mountain climbers losing their camps, ski resorts with missing guests, a strange beast being seen in the dark... Something covered in hair, something remarkably large.’ He takes his parka off and sets down his large duffle bag to slowly unpack it — revealing a thermos and a bow with several large, pointed arrowheads. He pulls out his Batman gear — which includes an insulated suit that's lined with fur, his belt, and a protective face mask that reflects his eyes in the red-tinted visor. He forlornly admits, ‘I can handle large, but what I can't handle… Is how damn lonely it is up here. Alfred says I could use some alone time. Truth is, I'm not such a fan of myself.’

Outside in his costume and cape, Bruce is tracking through the icy woods and the thick, rising snow. He's armed with his bow and arrows as he narrates, ‘To avoid detection by what I assume is probably Man-Bat, I'll try to capture him using only my hunting skills. I admit I'm a little rusty. The arrows I've brought are lethal to some, but they're just enough to incapacitate a beast of his size. It should be enough.. I hope it's enough.’ But the snowstorm rages on, forcing Bruce back inside the cabin since he believes it's not worth the risk of freezing to death if he stays out. He now lays in the upstairs loft's bed. The oil lamps on the wooden bedstand is unlit, causing the bright snow through the window to be the only thing that casts any light in the dark room. It reveals a framed photo of a picturesque landscape hanging over Bruce's head on the wall. In it, there's a peaceful lake and tall, luxuriant green trees.

Bruce solemnly stares up at the ceiling and thinks, ‘I find myself focusing closely on all the sounds of the forest, trying to learn the rhythm.’ The snow whirls on… A branch cracks… The cabin itself creaks and groans — causing Bruce to sit upright with a jolt! He squints out the window in an futile attempt to actually see something out there. He cerebrates, ‘Three nights and only the sounds of falling snow and branches. I've tracked nothing larger than a doe, there's been no news of an attack or sighting, maybe he's left the mountains… or maybe he's just hiding.’ Bruce lays back down, this time with his back to the window. He keeps an eye open — waiting and nearly hoping for any sign of life other than his own in the desolate, icy land.

We're shown Bruce outside again as he fights against the harsh wind to get back inside the cabin after another unsuccessful search for Man-Bat. He rubs his face tiredly while hunched over a small oil lamp as the stovetop coffee brews. He reflects, ‘Six nights alone, darkness lasts longer than the day and again the storm pushes me back indoors. This is beginning to feel useless. I'm really quite over myself. Maybe I'll call Alfred and ask him to—’ But his self-deprecation is cut short by a sudden thump! Then another loud crack! Again and again, coming closer and closer to him!

Bruce sets down the coffee as his mind rapid fires the possibilities of the quickly approaching, potentially dangerous loud noises! ‘Is it the branches in the wind? Or is it something else? Am I paranoid? I can't visualize what I'm hearing. There's no time to think about the cold now, I'm all alone up here. That sounds remarkably large.’ Bruce arms himself with his bow and arrow and hesitates outside the door as his paranoia continues, ‘I hope this is enough. A hunter knows its prey, but I'm realizing I have no idea what's on the other side of this door. Does it understand I'm on the other side? I am alone out here. No time to think.’ He flings the door open!

Geared in only his suit with no gloves or headgear, Bruce aims his bow blindly as he stands outside in the merciless elements. He tensely waits in the dark, thinking to the unseen threat, ‘I don't see you, but can you see me?’ There's another loud thump and crack. With one last hope that it's enough to tranquilize the potential attacker, Bruce fires the weapon.

The sharp arrow proves itself to be lethal as it pierces his unfortunate target. The threat — merely a lonesome, defenseless deer — falls dead in front of the horrified man. Bruce rushes forth and remorsefully buries the animal with the snow. He walks back to the cabin with the repeated, dejected confession: ‘Truth is, I'm not such a fan of myself.’

END ID]

#paranoia and self-deprecating... god hes just like me fr.... #love everytime writers acknowledge god no he fucking hates himself #(thinking of when cass asked if bruce could make them like him and bruce says god no hes not that cruel...) #but just bruce being all antsy and restless.... how his loneliness and being stuck with just himself with nothing to do just makes his #mental state rapidly worse and paranoid. bruce being unprepared? or acting this... reckless? his mind playing tricks and making the sounds #of a lonesome deer mimic the sound of a 7ft+ monster?? just his mental health obviously impaired and impacting his work is so <333 #also!! how when hes outside he focuses primarily on the mission and the panels arent boxed in but as soon as he goes in the cabin — #the panels are bordered on each side and serves as visual symbolism of how bruce is trapped within his own head and struggling thoughts !!! #also if you read it as man-bat not even being there and just being a literal unseen projection of bruces internal conflict... <3333 #ANYWAYS !! #happy sad boy sunday !!! #transcrypts #c: batman secret files (2018) | i: 1 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #batman #disabled bruce #posts from the crypt #autistic bruce wayne

[iwouldkickahorse]

I hate living in America because weekly I go through the paranoid fearful hell of remembering that project 2025 exists, know that it will literally turn my life into a shit hole due to it turning anything that republicans don’t like illegal, know that the literal first promise is making anything they see woke child porn, see if ANYONE else actually cares (they don’t), learn even WORSE shit that will come out of it, cry because no one cares and most people will vote in a republican and it will probably go in affect, knowing I can’t do anything besides scream into the void for more people to at least hear about it (I’m a minor), stop because its making my mental health awful, rinse repeat see you next week.

anyone else?

oh yea heres the fucking plan, its 1000 pages, happy reading

https://thf_media.s3.amazonaws.com/project2025/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf

#america #paranoia #lgbt #leftist #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #aromantic #asexual #trans #nonbinary #diversity equity and inclusion #enby #people of color #abortion #I HATE IT HERE #THIS HELL COUNTRY THAT WANTS TO MAKE ITSELF A DICTATORSHIP #FUCK AMERICA

[kanrix]

jus saying i love your art and i wish ppl werent so weird to you in your ask box, even if its "for a joke"

Thanks. I don't mind people being weird but there's just. Some times where I can't. Deal with it calmly

I don't like blocking people but I. Really should do it more often

#ask #anonymous #when someone was really serious about getting me into good night pun pun or whatever it was called #and was being spammy about it #i hate spam in general #i DONT hate like and reblog spam tho keep it up #gthat one time someone seriously accused me of promoting suicida with that one “i fucking hate people who use other's fears and paranoia to #gain views and shares“ post #<- aun me arde el culo por esto. mas encima el usuario me ponia “what's wrong with you” lmao consíguete una vida #ya no hablare mas de eso porque se ´resolvio´ y la verdad me va a salir una enfermedad si me enojo mas #might delete later

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist #but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all #those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again? #(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do) #BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit #like TENFOLD now #it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode #plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am? #also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism? #it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always #the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn #it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself #this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry #this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past #this is another reason I fucking hate florida #because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment #and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that. #all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid #and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again #tw vent post #tw racism #tw past racism #but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again #fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun

[raspberryjellybrains]

yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.

#it is also that he is autistic #i dont make the rules. its just true. #also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire #theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over. #they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not #dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him. #and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up #with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself #so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a #personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and #paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack. #see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years. #that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp #but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly #mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right. #if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt. #mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion #like boyboss good for him but thats it #anyway #dream of the endless #the sandman #raspberry rambles

[unicornsaures]

ill forever adore going through my old sketchbooks because its like going through memories i never knew i had

#dpdr my beloathed<3 #memory gaps i hate you !! #like what the fuck do you MEAN i cant tell when somethings real and somethings not #its ironic how my longest lasting memories are when i was drunk #like you would THINK that would be the most forgotten thing #but nope! #maybe because msot of the times i was drunk deeply affected me as a person #and i wont stop reminding myself about it #but! #brain if youre gonna fuck up my memories please let me forget the oens i want to forget pls n thanks #ugh #vent post #vent #dolirants #i love projecting onto laurens though if you couldnt tell #riddling that bitch with anxiety and paranoia and dpdr and rvery problem ive ever faced #honestly i think my mind starting blocking out just..everything #like everything ever #8th grade wasnt even bad ? #likr maam could i like #idk #remember that pls? #7th grade i understand #but like ? #can i remember the rest? #ughh #me ranting in the tags again

[notdelusionalatall]

30.04.2024 mhifwuh

i am supposed to take

sertraline 50mg

olanzapine 5mg

lamotrigine 25mg

alprazolam 0.5mg

brainvit capsules (some stupid vitamins that i believe are placebo)

once a day.

but

....

I BELIEVE THEY ARE POISON.

so i skip them from time to time.

and mom yells at me for that.

don't ask why. i don't know why exactly i think that lmaooo 💀

I am also a recovering alcoholic. 11 months WITHOUT ALCOHOL I FUCKING MADE IT.

😡

but i know someone is praying on my downfall so listen:

I WON'T RELAPSE JUST TO SPITE YOU.

(only I know what all of this truly means)

#mhifwuh #30.04.2024 #it's giving sleep deprivation #overcaffeinated #sleep deprivation #sleep deprivation is one hell of a drug #psycho scribbles #scribbles #scribbling #i don't know what this is #i don't know what i'm doing #that stands for #my heart is filled with unnecessary hate #sleep deprived #screaming #i can't escape #paranoid #i am starting to get paranoid #bullshit #this is bullshit #paranoia #paranoid thoughts #i am off my meds #creepycore #creepy #mental health issues #i am concerned about my mental health #tw #fuck medication #don't ask why

[ultimatehopes]

honestly sincerely i have no idea why i keep being a dgr fan the fandom is miserable and lonely and everyone is mean all the time and all i actually care about is three characters only i like and my friends ocs and every time i go from dgr to like dan and phil for example I'm absolutely gobsmacked at how sincerely kind that fandom is and how little anxiety it causes me, and then i come back to this onw and feel like a fucking jester

#ender talks #dgr is the meanest fandon I've ever been in and I've been in a lot #this fucking place has made my paranoia start up which has made me terrified of leaving my house at all #holy shit i hate this fandom

[wizardnuke]

miss the early days of my tma listen when i was conspiracy theorizing and genuinely freaking out about michael distortion appearances. michael went craazy he is SO scary to me

#was passionately talking about this the other day #michael is barely an avatar. obviously he is but the issue is that he didn't like.. fall into it like so many of the others #he wasn't predisposed to anything in particular he wasn't introduced to the fears thru falling into them #like. avatars are most often drawn towards their domain. one way or another. jon wanted to understand. martin was lonely. etc. #michael was completely unaware. wrong place wrong time. and i mean that checks for spiral but you get what i mean #one day he was normal human michael abroad with his boss and the next he was an avatar he was Barely acceptable and that. that is why #the spiral got him but it's also why he was nuclear levels of batshit insane on top of being spiral #even helen makes sense. Extremely Normal Person who got baited in by michael - she overpowered him bc she was still like #somewhat normal in the head just in terms of awareness of whats going on #michael wasn't. michael was out of his goddamn mind. past the whole spiral situation he was part avatar and part victim moreso than a #lot of other avatars and that's why he was Like That. PLUS he worked at the institute and had a serious hatred for it #and i mean think spiral=psychosis=paranoia and him stalking first sasha then jon #but. such a good fucking character to kind of lead in the situation. here is a spiral of the avatar that you have to handle while you're #putting all the pieces together. he is extremely confusing. this is not because he is also confused but it is a part of it #he is not mindless but he is out of his mind. more than helen. more than any other avatar because he was grafted into the picture #while most avatars fall into it. here is the beginning of the end. he worked at the institute just like you. he is insane. more insane #than a spiral avatar should be. he is Weird and Wrong and he toys with people because he is angry. #poor jon's trying to understand the bigger picture and the best piece that he has is literally like a shattered mirror of a man #that hates him so fucking much #and that's all he had to work with. for so long. #poor sasha. had to try to explain an encounter with the spiral of all things. an avatar of the spiral that barely understood himself. #u get what i mean. #also the fact that he is SO fucked up. in design and how he acts. he's SO scary. rabid angry thing. #something abt helen psychically overpowering michael bc hes a fluke vs jon straight up stabbing elias bc he's like an avatar supersoldier #*tangled in red string tripping over a corkboard* michael and jon are mirrors. yes the mirror is distorted. yes that is the entire point #thee michael distortion. distorted. grafted into the spiral when its ritual imploded. even weirder and wronger than an avatar of the #spiral should be because he wasn't supposed to be one at all. poor fit. and then the avatar-victim jon licherally stabbing elias #narrative foils. impossible ultra freak of nature n his rage. and a skin graft of every single fear. with a knife. and his rage

[neverendingford]

.

#every time a character does the whole “talk softly and reassure the dangerous person” thing while also walking ominously towards them ughh #it drives me absolutely nuts. like. you're trying to talk them down from paranoia while you're threateningly walking towards them? #someone does that to me and I'm shooting them at least in the leg or stabbing with whatever makeshift spear I've manufactured #anyway. criminal minds is getting real annoying with the whole pathologizing of people. #like. guy shows signs of being very good at torturing people and they go “ah yes.. a pure sadist” or whatever the fuck #I get that it's shitty crime drama stuff but still. ugh. #I just. I fucking hate when people take the obviously wrong route when talking to mentally destabilized people. #like. people are shit at talking to suicidal people. are shit at talking down irrational fears. people are shit at talking down paranoia. #I hate how people don't fucking know how to interact with freaks I hate how people don't know how to interact with me #everyone acts on their own level without understanding what it's like in any way #and so everyone just projects their own reality onto you without performing any sort of empathy or exercising any sort of understanding #and I want to scream so fucking loud #you're all living in a cotton candy world and your words disintegrate in my humidity #and it's so fucking lonely #and my mind has been clear this past week. the autistic need for pressure satisfied by this prescription pushing on my brain #and I can feel the cogs turning. the wheels and pins and linked gear trains and drive shafts and traction band motors. #all the parts of my brain churning around and I can't get close because the heat from my motor makes my hood hot to the touch. #I burn your hand as you try and press your palm against my flanks. #only think saddle and tack make contact. strict guidelines and harsh rules to govern me. #when I am free I buck and I shift gait and I drag you under too-low branches #also. compared to Hannibal I can basically listen to criminal minds as a podcast. none of the visuals really contribute anything to the show #like. feels very shallow

[quietwingsinthesky]

i just loved that the writers were like mark of cain dean slowly becomes more and more barbaric and inhuman as he can’t control this primordial, gaping wound in the form of an already healed over scar that has been borne by the devil himself and is in fact what made him the devil and therefore will make dean long and lust after maiming and ultimately murdering people with an urge stronger than any love or passion or resolution he’s ever experienced in his life And Also He’s A Huge Misogynist

well. TO BE FAIR. you have just kind of described dean when he is normal also.

#this is dean winchester we are talking about. on the ‘we hate women’ show. #god I feel like I’m gonna get to the Mark in my rewatch and the hype will have built it up too much #the mark in my head is so cool you guys have no idea because I never talk about it but trust me it is #I think I like. barely scraped a mention of it in that one Lucifer/Raphael fic and another time in a 3 sentence fic #murder death kill drive is fine but I think the mark should fuck up ur thinking even more. hallucifer 2 this time with God’s evil sister #slowly trying to eat your soul from the inside. amplifying anger for anyone sure but playing to the worst parts of someone mostly #Dean is angry but why enhance his anger when you can enhance his paranoia. his abandonment issues. his need for control. and make those the #reasons for him to lash out and kill people. I mean the show never fucking settled on if the mark actually corrupted someone into something #that they aren’t or just revealed what was already there. I felt it wanted to have both. to say to Lucifer ‘you were always sick’ and to #Dean ‘well we can fix you’ but no fuck that let’s lean hard into the revealing what’s there already aspect #I think partially I’m also still just mad about the demon origins retcon but shhhh whatever whatever #anyway. sorry for rambling anon. you are very funny. I chuckled. #ask #spn #dean winchester

[3-aem]

Sometimes it hurts to think that some people thought i was so undeserving of any sort of compliment for my work and it was so urgent to make that known they'd literally make a callout post about it 2 days before Christmas. Despite knowing the full situation was not like how they were depicting it. Probably knowing they had no authority to make the remarks they did. And all because I essentially would not bow down before them and agree I was a bad artist.

#Hurts even more that they've clearly moved on after dragging me through the mud over Christmas and into the new year #thanks for instilling in me a deep paranoia that the community hates me #and an inability to take pride in my work #snd then moving on to earn patreon cash off my friends and publish art books or w.e. #hope it made u feel better #fuck u #not even jokig. when i sayt he situation aggravated my cough into full on bronchitis for the next month

[hella1975]

by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem #& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss #and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified #whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing #but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!! #like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard #(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha) #is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this #like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp #and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life #and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM #THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER #SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME #but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself #and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it #like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe #that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love #or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress) #and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness #otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc #and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway #like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done #('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us) #whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me #and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response #AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT #like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart #ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum #but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism #taob updates