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#i have no explanation i just thought it was funny
lucysarah-c · 2 days
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“It’s the only extra shirt I got here,” Levi’s voice returned to its natural stiffness as he handed her a V-neck long sleeve grey t-shirt.
“Thanks,” she said with a shy smile while accepting it. Levi nodded as he drank from his canteen. Once she was dressed, he offered her some water, which she accepted.
Exhaustion washed over them as they lay down. His eyes focused on the ceiling, his arms bent behind his head. She lay on her side, watching him.
“What?” Levi's fierce eyes looked askance at her as she admired his side profile.
Her humming negative reply was all he got at first, and then, “Was it… was it enough for you?”
He turned his head to his left. “I came, didn’t I?”
His bluntness was sometimes a blessing and sometimes not. She pouted at the idea. “But… we didn’t…”
“I said we wouldn’t,” Levi quickly picked up the meaning behind her lack of conviction and rushed to reply. “Besides, even if you wanted to, I wouldn’t have gotten my dick in. You’re in your fertile days.”
The knowledge of that affirmation eluded her completely, to the point that she didn’t even know what to inquire about first. She also felt extremely tired as she scooted closer to his frame. Levi took the hint and embraced her with one arm as she rested her head on his chest.
Humming again, this time affirmatively, she somehow understood his point. .. she believed.
“That’s scary…” she whispered after a few minutes, and his attention returned to her.
“What?”
“I don’t know if I’ll do it,” the words had no meaning to Levi, who was trying hard to follow her train of thought as she rambled. “I feel my legs tremble.”
Silence, as if she could hear the gears of his head working to comprehend. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“About jumping,” she said casually.
“Huh?” he insisted, slightly raising up to hover over his left arm to have a better look at her face.
They were both confused—him because he didn’t even fathom what she was talking about, and her because she couldn’t believe that someone as street-smart as Levi didn’t know about it.
“That…” she started her explanation, slightly ashamed like a kid afraid of answering a classroom question wrong. First confidently, then doubts sank in. “That you have to jump ten times after it, so… so you don’t get pregnant?”
Confusion, then realization. Levi’s frowning face as he tried to process what she had just said turned into his normal stoic one, and then he bit his bottom lip. His chest began to shake as he inhaled rapidly through his nose. He began to chuckle, and when his weight fell back onto the mat, he was loudly laughing.
Her disbelief at seeing him genuinely laugh for the first time was mixed with offense. ‘What’s so damn funny?’
Levi kept trying to control his reaction, stopping momentarily, but then he remembered it and laughed again. Covering his eyes with his forearm, he insisted on forming a sentence, but it was just too hilarious somehow.
“Let me get this straight,” he chuckled, “you thought that jumping ten times, not nine, it has to be ten, would magically prevent you from getting pregnant?”
At this point, she was heavily offended. “Well yes!” Her enthusiastic affirmation only made him more entertained.
“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard,” his declaration between chuckles made her pout heavily at him, feeling the embarrassment quickly washing over her. “If it was that simple, brat, I wouldn’t have been born.”
His hand ran through his features as he calmed down, slightly shaking his head with closed eyes as he processed the idea. “God, how fucking bad are surface bastards that women have the energy to be jumping around after getting fucked?”
“Well, that was my question! Because I’m tired!” she complained loudly, feeling she finally had a fair point in this conversation.
To her surprise, Levi rolled to his side and grabbed her face. Her resistance due to her petty anger was pointless because he easily held her. Both hands on each side of her head, he then planted a kiss on her forehead.
“You’re so fucking stupid,” his whisper was fully covered in a thin layer of tenderness.
The pout on her features didn’t cease as his fingers ran down the side of her face; it felt insulting that he was looking at her with such appreciation after laughing in her face. His knuckles caressed her cheekbone so gently.
“Who told you that shit?”
“The girls in the barracks always talk about it,” she confessed, hoping that common knowledge among her companions would erase her ignorance.
“I’ll pull out and we’ll count days, that’s what we will do,” Levi explained.
Probably my favourite scene ever from Holy Ground.
Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out.
Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @kikarouflames @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee
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lemon-natalia · 2 days
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Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 50
thirty minutes before the Emperor’s murder and i still have no idea who’s gonna do it or why
Commander Wake. the commander who is Gideon's mother. who is Awake, the Sleeper. Who is in Cytherea’s dead body. Cytherea being the one Gideon had a crush on. WHO IS BEING POSSESSED BY GIDEON’S DEAD MOTHER. WHO IS THE BOE LEADER, COMMANDER WAKE. i’m fucking speechless what is this
also she’s calling the Emperor ‘Gaius’, do they fucking know each other??
omfg her full name includes ‘Snap me back to reality oops there goes Gravity’ wtf. weirdly i feel like thats such a Gideon (Nav) name to have, except she’s taking it so seriously 
‘did the ten billion give you that too.’ ‘how many babies died in the bomb Gaius’ oh this guy really did cause the apocalypse somehow didn’t he, fuuuck
scratch the others, this is the most tense tea party there’s been so far
‘it’s all come out’ what in the world’s most dramatic intervention is this
COMMANDER WAKE ME UP INSIDE 
both Mercymorn and Augustine were conspiring with the BoE?? i didn’t see that coming, especially not Mercymorn
the eggs from the first message weren’t a metaphor????? they were literal goddamn eggs wtf
she was gonna kill said baby in order to enter the Locked Tomb, and nicknamed it the ‘Bomb’. um wow. why is everyone’s immediate plan in these books to jump straight to the baby murder. 
GIDEON (1.0) JUST KILLED HER?? again? can you even say you killed a ghost. what. what. i thought they were a thing what is going on. Gideon just saw her mother for the very first time in her life, talking about how she was planning to murder Gid as a baby, possessing the body of someone she had a crush on who also tried to kill her, get murdered. oh she’s gonna need so much counselling after this. 
speaking of, how the fuck did the relationship between Gideon 1.0 and Wake start, that feels very complicated 
and he thought the baby was his. key word being thought. not was. then who the fuck is the baby daddy. this whole shebang would make for a very entertaining episode of Dr Phil. or whatever tv shows it is that do dna tests, i don’t watch a lot of reality tv
i really didn’t think a conception story could get more fucked up than Harrow’s, but Gideon’s giving her a very strong run for her money
‘Hi, not fucking dead. I’m Dad’ YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOU HAVE A SECRET BABY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS. its been about a minute and he’s already cracking dad jokes. is making bad puns genetic in the Locked Tomb world or something, because that would say a lot about Gideon quite frankly 
i cannot believe the fact that these guys were in a threesome has been plot relevant two times over now
also Gideon is the fucking. daughter of the GOD of this world i guess. well there’s an explanation for why she’s so resistant to not dying then. if he wasn’t super dead, i think Silas’s reaction to this info would be so fucking funny
also. given Ianthe presumably doesn’t know about any of the details of Gideon’s birth, childhood, etc. she’s gotta be even more confused than Gideon right now
also also remember when i had that dream about the Locked Tomb? my subconscious is a prophet, apparently:
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marvelsmylife · 16 hours
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Mr. Pouty face
Pairing: Liam Mairi x reader
Plot: Liam gets pouty when you don’t say I love you back to him.
Fourth Wing Masterlist
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Everyone in Basgiath knew how sickeningly in love you and Liam were with each other. They constantly heard you exchange ‘I love you' throughout the day and all but fuck out in the open. That’s why Imogen had dared you not to say I love you to Liam the following day during a girl's night in. She knew you wouldn’t last and bet you wouldn’t even last half a day.
“I can so last more than half the day” you argued back “I can go two weeks even.”
Imogen had an amused look on her face at your claims, “Yeah? Let’s make a bet then. No saying I love you to Liam. If you win I’ll do your chores for a month and you’ll do mine if I win. Deal?”
“Deal,” you shook Imogen’s hand to make it official.
You regretted agreeing to the bet the following day when Liam showed up at your door with a smile on his face. “Good morning, my love. How did you sleep last night?”
“Great, but I missed having you in my bed last night,” you replied, lacing your fingers with his as you made your way to the dining hall.
You didn’t miss the confused look on Liam’s face when you didn’t call him love when he greeted you this morning. You also didn’t miss the pouty expression on his face when he repeatedly told you that he loved you in front of your friends, and you either hummed or said thank you instead.
Throughout the day, your friends would pull you aside and ask if everything was alright between you and Liam. “Is everything ok between you and Liam? You never blatantly ignore his affection like you’ve been all day today,” Rhiannon asked, concern laced in her tone.
“It’s a bet,” you whispered while looking over at Liam, who was pouting in the corner with Bodhi, Ridoc, and Sawyer, “I bet Imogen that I could go two weeks without saying I love you to Liam. It was originally only a day, but I needed to prove myself, so I upped it to two weeks. I immediately regretted making this bet this morning, but I can’t lose, so I’ve been distant and short with Liam.”
Rhiannon couldn’t help but laugh at your explanation and drew the attention of all of your friends. That included Liam, who was both pouting and staring at you like a lost puppy, “Sorry, y/n just told me a funny joke.”
Imogen sent you a smirk because she knew what you were talking about. You, in return, just flipped her off and brought your attention back to Rhiannon, who was still laughing. “Rhi stop” you complained, “This isn’t funny. How am I supposed to last two weeks?”
“I honestly don’t know. You two are worse than Violet and Xaden when it comes to PDA, but you better think of something fast; Liam is headed our way,” Rhiannon lightly squeezed your shoulder and motioned for all of your friends to follow her so they could give you privacy.
Taking a deep breath, you looked up at Liam and smiled at him, “Hey babe, what’s up?”
“Are you breaking up with me?” Liam just blurted out and caused your throat to close.
“No ! ! !” you answered immediately, “What makes you think that?”
Liam began to explain how he felt throughout the day and thought that you not saying you loved him all day made him think you didn’t want to be with him anymore. “Fuck” you cursed under your breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I loved you all day,” you apologized, “I had a stupid bet with Imogen that I could go two weeks without saying I love you to you, but I didn’t realize how hurt you would get by me not telling you I love you. Do you think you can forgive me?”
Liam let out an audible sigh at your words and placed a kiss on your forehead. “Of course I forgive you,” Liam wraps his arms around your body, “But you’re going to have to make up for not saying I love you to me.”
“I’ll do anything just to make you smile,” you smiled up at Liam, “I love you.”
“I love you-”
Liam was cut off by Imogen, who yelled out, “Yes, I won the bet. You have to do my chores for a month.”
All your friends let out ohs at Imogen explaining your behavior all day. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you do her chores. You just have to continue saying I love you to me,” Liam reassured you.
“Deal,” you smiled before pulling Liam into a kiss.
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digital999placebo · 2 years
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<3 canon tattoo, they just photoshop away it in the anime/manga
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redsea8me · 9 days
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ok gay boy
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vani-ash · 1 month
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I was rewatching kinnporsche on the plane and
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Did Kim sign Wik for Ohm as well?? Bestie didn't even know who you were Kim 😭
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designernishiki · 1 year
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if you beat amon in dead souls kiryu gets an orbital death laser. just so you know
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Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again
Shhh Don't question it.
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poorlydrawndirk · 8 months
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We're on air.
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More precisely, I was on air when I recorded this, but the details are largely irrelevant. Because I don't really feel like covering fuckin' introductory quantum mechanics and telling you exactly how the influence of the Skaian universe, when applied at the quark level and taken alongside the probabilistic effect of quantum behavior, superposes via particle states and results in the formation of what you might refer to as "overlapping timelines". And that's already getting real abecedarian about this shit.
Yeah, sue me. Try boning up on basic physics while you're at it.
So. I'm sure you'd love to hear about how I managed to rig this sick as hell channel-cum-blog up and get it to straddle the space-time continuum like an antediluvian Olympic gymnast doing mad splits over baby's first toy pony, but that ain't the point of this little exercise. Posting what's effectively a vlog is enough of an onanistic venture without adding Skaian Principles For Dummies: Electric Boogaloo to the schedule.
Where was I?
(Rhetorical question. Don't answer, if it needed to be said.)
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The name's Dirk.
Strider. Yeah, that Strider.
I'd be more worried about internet safety, but seeing as there are only up to two people alive around here no matter how far you pull my timeline back, and I'm one of 'em, it doesn't exactly compute. Face it, brosephine: you aren't getting to year 24xx post-hilarocaust, and you sure aren't getting past that. Wasn't shat out of a lab yet when you were committing identity theft and scamming doddering old ladies out of their sadsack pensions.
(If you manage to get pizza delivered out here, I'll tip extra.)
Besides, you already knew my name, didn't you?
Maybe your next question's going to be:
"Why are you calling this a vlog when it's obviously just a blog?"
Or maybe,
"Why is your URL poorlydrawndirk when it's totally malapropos?"
Buckle in, kids. Strap yourself into that convertible toddler-safe harness and keep your ass glued tight to all the prime polyester-lined foam, because this ride's about to pull into the station and vehicular standards are some passé 21st century horseshit.
The first thing you have to understand is that even peering upon the brink of these echelons of irony is a skill that you'll never grasp in your life. But that's fine. I'm around. And if it puts your mind at ease,
I'll be the one pulling the strings here.
(There's the tired callback. It's not wrong, but it's tired. Worn out enough for it to be begging you to take it out back behind the shed and put it out of its misery.)
(I'll leave it at that for now, because self-referencing is one thing, but if I get any more meta, I'll have to start narrating in twelve-point Times New Roman.)
Anyway, I'll be breaking it down, just this once. Magnanimous as hell, I know. I could wax poetic and in doing so obfuscate the actual meaning once more from obtuse minds, thereby adding another strata to irony so layered that it's settled past sedimentary and is ready to unearth some fossil formations, but let's be real. That shit would fly over your head so far it'd be trying to dial ground control at Houston.
Here we go.
Vlogs aren't cool; making one ironically is.
Putting in this much effort into making a multiversal vlog makes it cooler, ironically.
Putting in this much effort to make a multiversal vlog when the doomed timelines are all inherently fuckin' doomed, as the name implies, and therefore functionally useless to communicate with, makes it more ironic.
I have Heart powers and am able to achieve my ultimate self through my alpha timeline. Therefore, not only is this pimped-out vlog functionally useless, but I actually don't need it at all.
Which means this wasn't too hard to set up to begin with. Ironic, considering the complex presupposed conditions necessary for bridging that 'verse gap.
And despite framing this as a vlog, this is obviously a blog.
Even though it's just a blog, all these drawings I've made had you convinced that I really thought I was posting a vlog.
And in a way, I'm still making one. It ain't the traditional format, but the almost videographic mannerisms I've been laying on you more than compensate for the fact that the video part of "vlog" doesn't exist.
Except it does, for me.
And because it does, none of these pictures are drawn to begin with. They're all film stills. Screenshots, if you prefer.
Which makes the qualifier of "poorly drawn" untrue.
But it's also almost true, because you can call them poorly drawn by virtue of them not even being drawn. Ride that definition of "poorly" down the one-way rail and you're here, selfie central, population two, me and you.
Of course, that means we have to cover the quandary of truth itself. What constitutes the truth? Titillate that thought for a second.
If I consider the attached files to be selfies, but you consider them to be illustrations, which is it actually?
An analysis of the "truth" means that we have to start delineating how much of this is subjective, tying us in bed with the concept of knowledge. The Socratic take calls for dialectical conversation and inquiry via questioning; therefore, if I just bequeath my knowledge to you on a pretty little metaphorical platter, it won't mean fuckall. So we have to keep digging. Get your pickaxe ready, 'cause we ain't hitting any diamonds of wisdom any time soon.
In fact, maybe that ain't the right direction. Flip it turnways. We gotta climb a li'l higher for what we need.
Maybe we gotta head to the roof.
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now. brought cal.
where making this HAPEN.
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Haha.
Just fuckin' with you.
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Welcome to my blog, dude.
Want water? Imagine I got you a nice, chilled glass.
Let's get this parasocial relationship pumping.
Questions? Concerns? Misguided pseudo-parental queries about whether or not it's safe for your pipsqueak to be exposed to a full dose of radically Stridered bullshit?
Cool.
Make it all three and drop it in the asks, yeah?
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oatbugs · 2 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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error404-drawnotfound · 9 months
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you ever wanted a robot mpreg shaker charm... no
WELL TO BAD BEHOLD THE ABILITY TO SHAKE THE FIRSTBORN
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redinthesea · 11 months
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I'm gonna be honest, I have zero explanation or excuses for this one. Self-indulgent crossover just for the sake of it. If you get it you get it. Posts with a target audience of one person (me).
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bumblingbabooshka · 8 months
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"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']
#Serving Jesus realness#star trek screenshots#Janeway#iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands#I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals#Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE#Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar#AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core#also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth#I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true#the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead#and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh.#Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine#Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!!#great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3#anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that#doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits#Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!
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"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"
#tw suicide#i wish i was joking#i am just so so tired of keeping myself alive! can't someone else do it for a change? or better yet kill me??#said something to the emergency room psych#she queried it and i confirmed i had said precisely what i intended#she blinked and said 'i usually hear that from jaded forty year olds not twenty year olds'#i won't share what because it was a highly specific explanation of precisely how i might see myself suiciding or how/whether i thought i#could. she asked me and i answered. apparently she wasn't expecting that level of detail and confidence#is it funny to anyone else that i always struggle with confidence but i can confidently tell her specifics about suicide thoughts?#this is reminding me of the fifteen year old yesterday i was conversing with and he randomly started listing all the suicide methods he#could think of and i was internally like you missed a dozen i can think of. didn't say that obvs#i don't know i am. tired. of everything. and i had a long and good conversation with an older woman from church last night (mother of the#boy. i have confided in her before she's great)#she's hte only person irl who now knows about the second suicide attempt (tho she doesn't know it was the second) and she was encouraging m#to see the psych and escalate care#but all day ive been regretting telling the psych or bro or anyone honestly#it would be so much EASIER to have said nothing and gone through with my plan#i wouldn't trust myself not to rn if i had access#i mean. i know multiple ways in this room i could kill myself. but i won't#there's a couple of specific methods that are most of the thoughts usually so they're the specific ones i gotta watch out for more if that#makes sense#ooh gosh im rambling i should shut up xD#personal#puddleglum hours
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there are many benefits of having couple more additional hands
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So what happened to sans
threw him in the void 👍
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