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faeryarchives · 2 years

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I love your genshin x twst works sm!! If you don't mind can I request a hc of itto-like reader with ace, leona, jack, azul, and vil? I just want to see chaos unfold 😂. Can be both platonic and or romantic!! Thanks in advance!!

i am glad to know you enjoy my works <33 the moment i saw your request i can't help but to laugh bc its indeed chaotic 😭 i am sorry if its a little long huhu

ace, jack, leona, azul, and vil with an itto-like gender neutral reader!

: ̗̀➛ ace trappola

all i can say is that. what a disaster 😵‍💫

putting a sassy idiot with a happy go lucky blockhead would be the perfect recipe for trouble, even adding grim and deuce to the mix.

ace met you in the main street and came to mock your furry friend, instead of making you angry - you just laugh in his face!

"hahaha! no way grim is not awesome, he is with the great (name)!"

"hey don't steal my spotlight!"

"so you are both idiots."

it was no secret that the two of you are a package deal - even deuce wouldn't see you without the red haired first year following behind. that also applies when you guys run away with an angry riddle behind you.

"(name) can't you like create a hurdle before he catches us?!"

"the great oni can get through any hurdles!"

"no that not-"

"oh, i know! get him ushi!"

"is that a cow wait why are you throwing him?!"

and it didn't end up well because ace got collared while the heartslabyul dorm leader grounded you by taking your precious ushi with him 😱

overall, ace is having the time of his life when ever he is with you + grim and deuce! there was never a dull moment with you around.

sometimes you two would hang out alone, ace would see your eyes sparkling as you spot a beetle on a nearby tree

"ace look at this beetle! he is so cute!"

he turned his head to the side trying to hide the smile forming on his face - why are you so cute? your pure personality is indeed one of the reason why ace like you.

... 👁 wait pause

did he just admit he like you?

well shit.

the first thing he would do was to see if the feelings would fade away but it just grew worst until he couldn't even maintain a straight face every time you would be alone

and all of it came to an end when ace just blurted it out during one of your fights.

"why are you even mad about what happened earlier?!"

"because i like you, you blockhead!"

"i like you too you know?!"

after that, students would pay no mind to you putting your chin on the top of ace's head while the two of you hang out in the cafeteria. ><

: ̗̀➛ jack howl

jack would have the urge to keep an eye on you after learning about you trusting people easily, even though he knew you could easily teach those people who try to take advantage of you, a lesson.

but he was amazed because you are very athletic! normally people would tend to leave jack alone whenever he goes out for his usual run because no one can really catch up to the wolf.

🏃🏽 until you came along

"oh hey jack! nice run you have there."

"thank- wait how did you catch up to me?"

"🧐? i run??"

expect that you would become his training buddy after you told him that you were getting rusty with handling your weapon which is not good for the great oni.

jack's heart almost stoped when he watch you throw ushi at an overblotted azul to distract him, the cow didn't seem to mind and start boping his head.

"what's this?!"

"go get him ushi!"

"are you insane?!"

"(name) i don't think throwing animals at someone is a good thi-"

despite that, jack started doting on ushi causing some of the savanaclaw members think that you two are ushi's foster parents

unknown to the wolf, he start falling for you as you got to know more about each other. you are great with kids? maybe he will introduce you to his siblings one day. you are the leader of your gang? how cool was that!

he would only realize his feelings when leona pointed out that everyone can see how he adore you from a mile away.

the day he confessed to you, it was the day you would never forget because not only jack offered you a bouquet of lollipop, you also got to pet his ears which he always told you not to touch

"you are one of the people who make sure that they are still in the right path despite being surrounded my scheming people... i don't know how to say it but, i like you (name). "

"is this real?! i like you too!"

ruggie couldn't help but feel jealous whenever he sees the two of you cuddling one time when the hyena needed something from jack.

"i'm so jealous when will i meet my soulmate, i want one too ..." me ruggie im here 🥲

: ̗̀➛ azul ashengrotto

to be honest, azul already like you from the start but he just didn't notice!

maybe he just found your trusting nature very interesting or the fact that you adjust very quickly in this world and easily made friends

you can say he was jealous but at the same time amazed? because it took him a long time to adapt to the life on land and seeing how you were doing just shocked him

"oh hi jade and azul! have you seen lil grim? he ran away again!"

"i saw him chasing epel around earlier in the mirror chamber."

"the two of you are close?"

"no, (name) helped me to carry the box of supplies yesterday. i was returning the favor."

he would never expect you to treat him still as a friend after putting you through a very troubling situation when he overblot. it turns out that you were also once seen as an abnormality among your peers when you were a child and knows how he feel.

"why are you still treating me like your friend?"

"well, everyone have their own breaking point! and we all make mistakes whether it is big or not but you should still make up to the people you had affected."

the more time you spend with each other, he finally came into a conclusion that he does like you, not just a friend but something more.

"(name) would you like to sign a contract with me?"

"about what azul?"

"of me liking you, i-it's ok if you don't like it bu-"

"hahaha! there is no way i wouldn't like that. i really like you. to azul!"

please always shower him with compliments azul deserve to feel validated after all the work he had done to reach his current position.

: ̗̀➛ leona kingscholar

whenever leona is near you, he could feel a headache incoming.

he developed a (name) radar due to your loud voice and presence, which in his case is very helpful because it allows the lion to hide from you whenever you want to bother him.

but sometimes he wasn't so lucky

especially when you somehow found him with cheka on your shoulders, having the best time of his life

"hi unca leona!"

"hahaha hey there unca leona~"

"what the hell are you two doing?"

"running around the corridors on (name's) shoulders!"

"... how come the two of you didn't get spotted by riddle?"

due to your nature being good with kids, the lion would often give you lollipop for keeping his nephew in company while he peacefully took his afternoon naps.

but sometimes lollipops were not effective as a bargain when you and cheka would get mischievous and prank leona.

he banned the two of you from entering savanaclaw for two weeks.

seeing how you have an athletic build, the lion would sometimes make you join their magift practice every morning and he hates to admit it but you were a force to be reckoned with.

"hahah catch up to me herbivore."

"the great oni would never lose! get the disk ushi!"

"is that a flying cow?!"

as time goes by, ruggie would sometimes ask you to fetch leona for his remedial lessons because he knew that the dorm leader could not make you go away.

its not because of your stubbornness but the hyena knew leona has a soft spot for you after seeing him stare at you with soft eyes while playing with cheka.

"leona~ ruggie told me to get you for your remedial classes."

"i want to sleep."

"oh okay! i'll watch over you then after you wake up you will go to your remedial class."

"you silly herbivore. classes will be done by then."

"isn't that the point?"

"this is why i like having you around."

"i like you too leona!"

now expect the two of you forgetting about your classes and just sleep in the botanical garden all day long

: ̗̀➛ vil schoenheit

at first, vil would be bothered by how you wear your uniform. you are the prefect of the ramshackle dorm so you must still maintain a good appearance!

you would try your best because he is still right and seeing how you improve made him feel glad because you show some effort right?

one time when he was talking to epel about his mannerism, you unexpectedly walk in with ushi in your arms

"(name), what are you doing."

"come on, everybody make some mistake and it was just a small slip! i'm sure epel wouldn't do the same mistake again."

he actually let you off for just one time, but vil still ask if you guys are still getting into trouble with the pomefiore first year involved in which rook informing him that you are still indeed getting into trouble

vil would like to have a talk with you some time regarding of your previous promise 😊

never he would thought that you have a talent for singing and rapping! he would sometimes invite you to their dorm to inquire questions on how or who taught you to sing

"no one taught me to sing, numero uno (name) would never lose in singing!"

"... that is still interesting in a way."

before he could realize it, the two of you became quite close! vil would try putting up some make up on you and style your hair and you don't seem to mind at all

you gave him relief because you didn't feel offended from any of his comments at all, it was like he could be around you whenever the dorm leader would like to destress and tag you along for spa days!

maybe it is due to your caring & welcoming nature plus showing effort in all aspect personality made the dorm leader to have a soft spot for you.

and epel accidentally exposed his own dorm leader while he was ranting to you

"ya know i was shocked to know that vil likes you!"

"... what?!"

"epel, let's have a talk later."

"v-vil do you like me?!" the male could swore you look like a big puppy right there and there. seeing how there is no point in hiding it - he just cross his arms and gave you a look.

"and what are you going to do about it potato?"

"i like you too~!"

"st-stop hugging me! my outfit is going to be wrinkl-"

knowing how busy your now boyfriend dorm leader, you two would spend your time together with skincare and applying nail polish on your nails!

i am so sorry if vil is kinda ooc or i didn't get his character right ahjcd i am still on chapter 4 in twst jpn acc i'll try to look more into his character if ever i wrote something wrong ><

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst imagines #ace trappola #leona kingscholar #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #vil schoenheit #ace trappola x reader #jack howl x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #faeryarchives

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cooloddball · 3 years

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Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

#submissions #cockles

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

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Enzo anon here - the more this era is progressing, my theory about gaymila being used as damage control and for profit seems to be happenening.

I have some thoughts that I know many other CS share, i think it would be good to summarise what i’ve seen on different blogs into one post as well as adding my own theory. So this will be a long one but i hope you guys find it insightful and Stuck thank you again for giving me a space on your blog!

Let’s look back on CC2 and the aftermath of its release. A quick disclaimer : I’ll only be addressing her situation in terms of the social/PR aspect as we have no idea what other factors might be at play such as contracts and money etc.

It’s fair to say that C was and is not in a good place reputation wise. Señorita was of course a smash hit but was mostly used to promote S. Her fans complained about C almost becoming a double act with S. These fans understandably signed up for C, not S and so subsequently most of them unfollowed her on SM and stopped paying attention to her to escape the constant Showmila. For the GP, Showmila became a mockery and so it’s asking a lot from her fans to stay when she was constantly embarrassing herself to the point that it made it uncomfortable for them. Of course with this comes the racist controversies also involving Normani which brought back the entire 5H feud. This put C even further than she already was against LAND and so the narrative that she was hated by the other girls for being obnoxious and attention seeking was further reinforced by her being racist towards N. All of this made/makes Camila extremely easy to hate, to the public she seems like a privileged straight girl who has never once had any sort of difficulty or obstacle in her life.

On the CS side of the fandom, many having left after having enough of the Showmila circus, leaves very few CS to fight back against the narrative. Even more leave after Lauren’s bombshell of a podcast. For example, this graph from google trends show how searches for “camren” or “camila cabello camren” are/were decreasing.

We know that CS are a very large part of C’s fanbase so who are we left with ? Many solo C stans all have converted into SS accounts and again even then S takes the main focus, not C. So… its not looking good, having people being fans of yours only for your relationship is a risky move business wise. We’ve all wanted Showmila to end for a long while and we definitely can all agree that the end is long overdue, infact a lot of us believe that had there not been the pandemic they would’ve broken up a while ago. So where does C stand now? Well, in my opinion, after this entire circus (which unfortunately is still ongoing) C is in a very vulnerable position. How does she promote her upcoming album with so much of her fanbase gone? Perhaps a big break up album? That option doesn’t sound great when she most likely will get the short end of the stick narrative wise and be further disliked by the little fans she does has left. If Camila doesn’t have Shawn anymore, the SS will most likely all disappear leaving her with a very limited amount of people who have the guts to actually publicly support her. Another option she could have is to keep riding on this relationship until people get bored, only that’s already happening and Showmila does not have the punch it once did to get a second Señorita. What about a fake pregnancy or a marriage? God we hope not and I really believe that Camila would do anything in her power to avoid that as we’ve seen how extremely unhappy she seems just being his girlfriend. For all we know Shawn might be very against this idea too and even if they did go along with it would it really be enough to promote CC3 ? After a few weeks the excitement would have died down again and leave them both back to square one. Not to mention that C getting married/pregnant would make even some of her most dedicated fans leave for good and would still not be enough to get her out of the racist accusations.

This is where my theory comes into play, however i think her team will only follow through with this if they are smart and if they aren’t actually sabotaging her. This past year I watched as Taylor Swift released her two albums and broke numerous records and achieved incredible success. I do not think this success would’ve been achieved had it not been for the insane rise in speculation over her sexuality due to her new songs. T is of course a household name, she’s earned her place amongst the top artists of this generation but people were starting to get bored hearing dramatic songs about her oh so difficult love life being a straight white girl. This is why when folklore and evermore came out there was so much buzz and excitement about T possibly being LGBTQ to the point that it found it’s way to the GP. People were wondering what these gay songs with gay lyrics were and so they went to listen for themselves. Eventually tons and tons of extra streams and talk generated from people who would’ve otherwise never paid attention. Myself included. You can see below on google trends the massive increase in online searches for “gaylor swift”. The gaylor side of tumblr also expanded as there had never been so many songs with so much queer interpretations to analyse and discuss and more and more of the GP were getting curious enough to read the blogs. Regardless if you think Taylor is gay or not, the general public discussing it was an essential part in improving her image for Gen Z and promoting her albums thus creating $$$ for her team and label.

Keeping this in mind, I believe that C might (not having many options left to salvage her career/reputation) take a page out of TS’s book and have an era that will attract more LGBT fans than ever before. We’ve seen how camren is slowly coming back. Even just by C liking a picture of L’s it was enough to bring back out a whole lot of fans who had abandoned her. Her team see this, they know this, they are aware. If talks of Camila being gay will generate more $$$ they will use that to their advantage and push out the new gay narrative as much as they can. I don’t think she will explicitly come out any time soon, and i don’t think that they will “confirm camren” but this era will definitely set her up for it in the future like the way it has for TS and it will give her a stable fanbase for a long while, which at the moment she is in dire need of.

Although C would’ve probably liked her relationship with L to remain private I think she may have no other choice but to use it more than she ever has before to save herself. Sadly no amount of self improvement and apologies will ever erase her racist past, it will follow her forever and people will never stop talking about it, unless there’s something more interesting to discuss. That’s the way the internet works, a photo of camren together in 2021/2022 would generate more buzz than anything Showmila related. Not only would all of the CS who left come back but all the anti-CS would be talking about it too and an entire wave of new fans would be interested enough to join. There would be no room to talk about Camila Cabello being racist when Camila Cabello is actually gay/dating Lauren Jauregui is the new talk.

Of course this entire process will not be instant but we can see that they are building up to something like that. Perhaps Camren being public friends again which would still generate a ton of talk as it did back in the 5H days. She will not instantly break up with S and then be seen making out with L the next day but I do think that although it wasn’t her or her teams plan to use her relationship/sexuality, i think she has no other choice if she ever wants to gain favour with the public again. Let’s not forget that the rest of 5H seem to be on their way to having new music out very very soon and just as camren worked to promote 5H in the old days it will work again in 2021/2022. This would encourage her team even more to follow this route as it would suit everyone, even if they no longer are a group they will always be connected.

We shall wait and see what happens, of course circumstantial situations may arise to cause them to switch up their plans but for now all this 5H, camren and gaymila interactions are no coincidence. That’s for sure.

This concludes my very long post! thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, thank you again to Stuck and if anyone has anything else to add that i might have missed or any questions don’t hesitate! I love hearing what everyone else has to say. To clarify these are all my personal thoughts and speculations and I am not claiming to know anything for certain.

____

Wow, I didn't expect to be a window into another great submission from my dear buddies, but Enzo, I loved your post. And I really totally agree with you in what you mentioned.

The truth is that it is true, Camila has been selling her LGBT + agenda of hers since 2020 and even long before because I always had the theory that she would be let out after having a big heterosexual PR circus. This PR circus with the diva is that circus and what we have been seeing, because it checks all our theories.

As for Gaymila, she has always been there. More crushed with the fucking circus shit maybe, but she's always been there and one thing I want to emphasize is that most of Camila's fandom other than SS or homophobic, would accept Camila out of the closet, ALWAYS AND WHEN NOT WITH LAUREN.

That is why I think Camila would have more followers if the aforementioned are left aside, because they would have no problem supporting her and we would be more, considering that those clowns are partly paid fans and bots.

I don't think she will even give him permission to leave her, but if she does it is because that would also be part of her contract. Of her agreeing to do all this theater of the absurd with the circus, as long as they let her out at the end.

The fucking shit hole that is the industry knows that it has to please its LGBT + audience because we are the ones who support artists the most. The main audience for them may always be heterosexuals, but when they get bored and look for something else, the ace up their sleeve will always be the community and with the examples that you have given my dear Enzo, that is proof of it.

The thing with Camila is that she's never been in the closet. They forced her into a closet and that's different. Camila always felt good being herself and they have tried to cover that with different types of circuses since she was in the band because it is what suits business.

What we are seeing now with Camila is that, a double agenda, that of the circus managed by the idiots behind it and Camila's own agenda that lets us see Gaymila from time to time.

And when I talk about an agenda, I do not do it in a negative way but as something that she must have already planned.

My theme now is that it will come in that aspect. I don't think I'm waiting for a circus engagement or a lavender marriage, but I do hope that Camila can set Gaymila freer every time. Unfortunately, everything else is still very screwed up and this circus just represses it more and more.

The problem is that as long as she does not regain some control over her career and her image, no matter how small, nothing will change.

#submission #enzo anon #love you buddy

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fangirlinsweden · 4 years

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Nexus - Part 7

Part 7: Eye opener and honesty

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Secrets, talk about death and loss (think that is all)

Word Count: About 7 500 words. THIS PART IS LONG!

Summary: Y/N is a pain in the ass according to Steve. She is brought on to missions sometimes by Fury when they need help, but she is wild and does not listen to orders. She does what she wants. Now Fury has given her a place in the Avengers. And Steve is not liking it. Having to deal with her every day. He hates her. Or does he? And what is Y/N relationship with Bucky? They seem to get closer and closer.

A/N: This takes place after Avengers: Endgame, but Steve never left. Tony and Nat are still alive.

This is written for Gab’s @buckysmischief Birthday Challenge. My prompt is: “Did you bring us here to die?” “Obviously.” “I really can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

English is not my native language and I am doing the best I can when it comes to writing.

Wanda meets a crying Y/N running in the corridor and she knows the reason. Steve. He has to be behind this. Who else would make Y/N cry? Wanda tries to decide if she should go after Y/N or go and kick Steve’s ass, but the decision was easy. Steve. Y/N probably needed some time to calm down. Wanda storms into the kitchen ready to give Steve a piece of her mind, but when the sight before her stops her in her tracks. Steve is sitting on the floor looking down on the jewellery box that he clearly has been trying to give Y/N. “You don’t have to say a word,” Steve get’s out with a hoarse voice. “I messed it all up again.” Wanda sighed and sat down next to Steve on the floor. Maybe yelling at him was the wrong thing to do. “You have gone about your apology the wrong way from the beginning,” Wanda explained. Steve tilted his head and looked at her. “I did what google suggested,” Steve tried to defend himself. Wanda groaned. “Google is not always right,” Wanda mused. “But everyone always told me that I should google things,” Steve’s brows were pulled together. “Steve,” Wanda sighs and shakes her head. “Google can be a good tool to find things like historical events, books, movies and music. But when it comes to righting wrongs and more personal issues Google is not the place to get advice.” “Oh,” Steve looks down on his hands. “So the flowers and jewellery?” “It can seem as if you were trying to buy forgiveness and also your apology did not seem honest,” Wanda explained. “Some men use flowers and jewelry to appease their women when the men have done something wrong, like forgetting an important date.” “Fuck,” Steve whispers out. Wanda decides not to call him out on the swear word. “If you really want to apologize to Y/N and make things right with her and Bucky you need to do so in an honest and real way.” Wanda put a hand on Steve’s. “You can’t buy Y/N forgiveness.” “I am lost, Wanda,” Steve whispered. “What should I do?” Wanda contemplated. On one hand, she wanted to yell at Steve, but that was all everyone had done. Yeah, he was a big idiot, but nobody thought about how out of time Steve still was. Or the fact that he was lousy with women. He had made a snap judgment against Y/N twice and hopefully he had learnt his lesson. So on the other hand she wanted to help him make things right with both Y/N and Bucky. Make him understand the right way to do things. “This is not something you can fix overnight, Steve,” Wanda stood up. “You need to give both Bucky and Y/N time as well as show them how sorry you really are.” Steve nodes and Wanda decide she has told him enough. Now it was up to him to fix it. So she leaves him to his thoughts.

Ten minutes later Steve is no longer sitting on the floor in the kitchen, but at the counter. He hears heavy steps coming towards him and he does not have to guess how it is. Steve sighs and stands up. As he turns a fist is trusted into his face and Steve stumbles back a step against the counter. “You had to make it worse,” Bucky growls. “You just could not leave her alone.” Bucky grips on tightly to Steve's t-shirt, almost lifting Steve up. Steve just looks at his friend. Bucky kind of shakes him. “I am not going to fight you,” Steve sighs and Bucky stops and looks at him. Really look at Steve for the first time in awhile. “Fuck,” Bucky swears under his breath. He realizes Steve and Steve leans against the counter. His face is throbbing, but he ignores it. “You look like shit,” Bucky says and looks Steve up and down. “I feel like it,” Steve agrees and looks down on his feet. “You are still a punk,” Bucky grumbles. “And you are still a jerk,” Steve answers and smiles at his friend. Steve felt like some weight on his shoulders had lifted. He knew that Bucky and he would be alright. It would take some time, but he knew they were on the right track. “You are not forgiven yet,” Bucky grumbles again trying to keep back a smile. “I know,” Steve tried not to smile bigger, he knew that Bucky was starting to come around. “You really need to make things right with Y/N,” Bucky continued. Steve nodded. “But not the same way you have done.” Steve nodded again. “Maybe you should try with writing her a letter.” Bucky lifted a shoulder. “Thank you Bucky,” Steve let out a laugh and left the room. Bucky had just given Steve what could be the solution. Steve was going to write Y/N a letter.

One of the days you dreaded was here. It was the anniversary of your mother's death, a day you always wanted to be alone. A day you spent crying and remembering your mother. You woke up really early with a jerk. A look at the clock made you realise that nobody else would be up, which made this the perfect time to go to the kitchen and get some breakfast and maybe even something more to eat for later in the day, so you would not have to talk with anyone. When you get back to your room you almost trip over a big box outside your door. You open your door and put your breakfast and lunch in your room before you walk back to the door. There was no address or anything on the box, so you pick it up and put it on your counter. After breakfast you pull a knife out of one of your dresser drawers and open the box. Inside there are a soft dark red blanket, a lot of expensive chocolates, four books you had told Bucky about that you wanted to read, two movies you had talked about wanting to see, a big box with mixed teas, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of tequila, two bags of different dried fruit, a thick candle in a glass jar, a facemask and pair of fluffy blood red socks. On top of it, all was a note.

I know this day is hard for you. I hope these things can help you get through the day. ♡

Seeing as if it was the anniversary of your mother's death you figured it was from Bucky trying to cheer you up since you had told him that the anniversaries always was a hard day for you. That he thought about you made you smile. You wanted to thank Bucky right now but the books called your name and you figured the best thing for you to do right now was to make some tea, crawl under the blanket and read a book. Dealing with people on this day was not something you wanted to do, so you hoped that there would be no missions today. That you could be here in your room dealing with this day alone. It had been years since your mother died, but it was still a hard day. It was the same for the dates your father, grandmother and grandfather had died. You missed them a lot and had always made sure that you spent those days alone nowadays. Before your grandmother died you had spent them with her. Remembering, laughing and crying. Now those days where yours alone to do that and it feels worse. You fixed your tea, took the first book from the book pile and then pulled the blanket over yourself and began to read.

The next day in the afternoon there was a knock on your door. When you opened it, Wanda, Pepper and Nat stood before you dressed up to the nines, hair and make-up done. “You need a girls night out,” Nat said and pushed past you. Wanda and Pepper followed. You looked at your open door back to the woman now in your room. “I do?” You closed your door. Nat and Pepper opened your wardrobe and Wanda stood looking at your make-up. “Yes, you do,” Pepper insisted and Wanda nodded. You sighed and looked over at the books by your bedside table that you got the day before. You had read one of them and wanted to continue reading. Of course you could turn the girls down, but going out sounded like fun and you had not had a girls night in over a years time. “I am in,” You say and the girls laugh. “I think it’s fun that you think you had a choice,” Nat sass at you and points at your bathroom. “Nat, means go take a shower and we will get everything ready for you out here,” Pepper smiles at you. Shrugging you do as you are told.

When you got out of the shower one of your favorite dresses lay on your bed. A pair of high heels stood on the floor in front of the bed and the girls stood by your mirror discussing what kind of make-up you should have on. It made you smile and you were thankful that these girls had your back and that you could see them as family. “There you are,” Wanda almost squealed. “We have decided that you should wear that amazing black dress, those shoes and for make-up this darker red lipstick and smokey eyes.” You looked at the lipstick Wanda held up. It was something you had bought but never used, so why not. You quickly got dressed and then you let Nat do your makeup while Wanda and Pepper fussed with your hair. It felt nice to be taken care of. “I heard that Steve is still being a clueless jerk,” Pepper said after a while. You saw the look Nat gave her but shrugged. “You could think that he never talked to a woman before,” You tried to laugh. Wanda placed a hand on your shoulder. It told you that she knew about your feelings for Steve, conflicting feelings but still feelings of love and sometimes hate. You sighed. “I feel like I should forgive him and move on,” You admitted and Nat smiled at you. “Give him one more chance to apologize and then you can decide,” Nat keeps her face neutral. It felt like she was hiding something. “Do you really think he can do that right?” you asked, tilting your head slightly. “You never know,” Nat said again and smiled. Wanda clapped her hands together. “Let’s forget Steve and have our girls night out,” She cheered. “Happy is waiting on us outside,” Pepper looked down at her phone. You decided to try and forget Steve tonight. Whatever happened, would happen. You had already decided to give it some more time and then try and keep it together around Steve for Bucky's sake. He needed his family and Steve was family.

Steve woke up by his phone ringing beside him in the middle of the night. He sat up and saw Wanda's name on the screen and answered. “Hey,” Steve said and before he got another word out Wanda started to talk. “Thank good, Steve,” Wanda breathed out in relief. “I've been trying to get ahold of Tony, but he is not answering. Bucky does not answer either. Can you please come and pick us up?” Steve heard something in the background of Wanda's call and her swearing. “Hold on a minute,” Wanda sighed. “Y/N get down from there. Nat, don’t encourage her. Y/N, I mean it, don’t make me come up there. Pepper stop taking pictures.” Steve fought to keep a laugh in. “Where are you?” Steve was pulling on pants and looking for a shirt. Wanda told him where and Steve was out the door. He stopped by Bucky’s door when he heard the music, because it meant that Bucky was awake. He knocked on the door and Bucky opened fully dressed. “We need to go, now,” Steve urged his friend who had still not had a chance to say a word. But the look on Steve’s face told Bucky that it was urgent. Bucky closed his door behind him. “Mission?” Bucky wondered as he followed his friend to the elevator. “No,” Steve answered and pressed the button. “Girls night out.” Bucky groaned.

They went to the garage and took the minibus that Tony had bought “for Morgan’s future playdates, football games and whatnot”. Seeing as they were picking up four drunk women they needed a bigger car. “Who called you?” Bucky looked down on his phone and saw ten missed calls, thirteen messages and two voicemails. He had turned his sound off. “Wanda,” Steve answered, keeping his eyes on the road. “She had tried reaching Tony as well as you, but nobody answered.” Bucky pressed to listen to the voicemails. The first was a drunk Y/N. “Hey, Buckaroo, you should have gone out with us.” In the background they could hear Nat and Pepper yell “It’s girls night out.” “He can be an honorary girl,” Y/N whined. “He is pretty enough.” That made the girls laugh in the background. Steve chuckled. Y/N then continued with something completely different. “Buckaroo, there was a man here who wanted to take me out on a date.” This made Steve grip the steering wheel harder. “But Nat scared him away. Apparently, he was a fuckboy.” Steve took a couple of deep breaths. “See you tomorrow.” Y/N happy voices screamed out and then the voicemail ended. “Well, then,” Bucky cleared his throat. Steve kept quiet thinking about the man that had hit on Y/N. He was thankful that Nat had scared him away, but he knew that one day Y/N would meet somebody. This made his chest feel tight. He tried to get those thoughts out of his head and concentrate on getting to the girls. Bucky did not listen to any more voicemails. Probably because he saw Steve’s reaction to what Y/N had said but Steve decided to ignore that as well. This was not the time och place to talk to Bucky about his feelings for Y/N.

When they pulled up outside the club they saw Wanda trying to keep control over the other girls. Y/N stood on a bus bench by the road dancing and singing, Nat was encouraging her, but at the same time looking mean on any man who dared to stop and look at Y/N. Pepper was on her phone filming it all. “Trouble never looked god damn fine,” Steve muttered out when he looked at Y/N dancing around in a tight black dress. Bucky heard him and only smirked at his friend. The exited the car and when Wanda saw Bucky and Steve she looked relieved. “Thank god, you are here!” Wanda almost yelled. “Our ride back to the compound is here, ladies.” “Hey, good looking!” Nat winked at Bucky who blushed and looked down on his feet. “Boy, you know I want your love” Y/N continued to sing and dance on the bench. Ignoring them all. Pepper smirked and continued to film the whole thing. “Your love was handmade for somebody like me. Come on now, follow my lead. I may be crazy, don't mind me. Say, girl, let's not talk too much. Grab on my waist and put that body on me. Come on now, follow my lead. Come, come on now, follow my lead.” Bucky looked at Steve and shook his head. Nat walked over to Bucky or tried at least. She stumbled on the last step and Bucky got a hold of her before she hit the ground. “Take me home,” She said to him and Bucky looked down on Nat who took that moment to threw her hands around his neck. “Wanda, can you take care of Pepper?” Steve asked and she nodded. “I will take care of Y/N.” “Good luck getting her down from that bench,” Wanda looks over at Y/N, who was still dancing and singing. “We got kicked out of the club, because she went up on stage dancing and singing.” Steve chuckled and walked over to the bench, Y/N looked down on him and continued to sing. “I'm in love with the shape of you. We push and pull like a magnet do,” Y/n winked at him. Steve laughed and held up his hand for her. She shook her head and continued to sing. “Although my heart is falling too. I'm in love with your body.” Steve sighed and took a hold of Y/N waist and lifted her down from the bench. Y/N laugh and changed the song she was singing. “She took Jamie as a chaser, Jack for the fun. She got Arthur on the table with Johnny riding as shotgun.” Y/N winked at Steve who carried her to the car. Bucky had gotten Nat into the car and Wanda had gotten Pepper in the car. Bucky hopped into the driver's seat and Wanda sat in the front with her. That left the middle seats in the car for Steve and Y/N. He lifted her into a seat. “Chatted some more, one more drink at the bar. Then put Van on the jukebox, got up to dance.” Y/N sang out loud and Wanda groaned. Nat and Pepper laughed and together with Y/N they sang out the chorus. “You know, she played her fiddle in an Irish band. But she fell in love with an English man.” Steve strapped Y/N in with the seatbelt and smiled at her. “Kissed her on the neck and then I took her by the hand. Said, ‘Baby, I just wanna dance’. With my pretty little Galway girl. You're my pretty little Galway girl.” Steve walked around the car and sat down on the other side. “Sing ‘One’ next,” Pepper yelled and Nat nodded. That was all the encouragement Y/N needed. “Tell me that you'll turned down the man.” Y/N starts to sing and she looks at Steve. He can’t keep his eyes off her. “Woman,” Pepper and Nat yell in the back. “Who asks for your hand 'Cause you're waiting for me.” Y/n continues to sing and she takes Steve’s hand in hers. Bucky mutters something in the front seat, but Steve ignores it. His focus is on Y/N and only her. Her hand in his, her voice and the happy smile on her face. “And I know, you're gonna be away a while But I've got no plans at all to leave And would you take away my hopes and dreams? And just stay with me, ooh.” Steve sing quietly with Y/N as she sings. He knew that Bucky heard, but at the moment he did not care. Neither did he notice that Pepper was filming it all from the backseat.

Halfway back to the compound the car got quiet. Y/N had stopped singing Ed Sheeran, but was still holding Steve's hand. Pepper and Nat had fallen asleep in the backseat and Wanda in the front seat. Y/N looked out the window, still awake, but her blinking got slower and slower. He figured she would fall asleep soon. Steve saw Bucky glance in the rear-view mirror at times, but he was quiet even though he had a big smirk on his face. Steve was mostly looking at Y/N and enjoying being this close to her. Not that he knew if she would remember it in the morning. When Bucky parked in the garage at the compound Steve felt sad. He had wanted the car ride to go one forever, but Wanda jumped out of the car. She seemed happy to be home. Steve got out of the car and turned to Wanda. “I can get Pepper to her apartment,” Wanda yawned and turned to Bucky. “Can you take care of Nat? I think you are the only one that can handle her right now.” Bucky looked over at Y/N still sitting in the care awake and back to where Nat was sleeping in the back of the car. “Yeah, I can take care of Nat,” Bucky agreed. That left Steve with Y/N. Not that he minded, he just hoped she was okay that he helped her to her room. Steve went over to the side of the car that Y/N sat on. He opened the door and Y/N looked up at him. “Come on, sweetheart,” Steve held out his hand. “Time to go to your room.” “Iz agm ktoo tired pto walk,” Y/N mumbled and closed her eyes. Steve looked over at Wanda who had an amused smile on her face. “Either you walk yourself or I can carry you,” Steve tried and Y/N response was to lift her arms in the air. Steve frowned at her. “She wants you to carry her,” Bucky muttered from behind Steve. “Yeaph, please carvry me,” Y/N mumbled with a small smile on her face, still keeping her eyes closed. Steve took a deep breath and undid her seatbelt. Then he lifted her up. Apparently a tired drunk Y/n talked slurry, but before when she was still dancing and drunk she could sing full songs without slurring. Steve thought that was kind of cute. At least it was no problem understanding what she was saying. “Oh, look,” Pepper pushes Nat and wakes her up. “Steve is carrying Y/N like a bride,” Pepper sighs from the back seat. Steve blushes and looks down at Y/N, who does not seem to have a care in the world. “Just take her up to her room,” Bucky grumbles and Steve walks away from them. Halfway to Y/N room she opened her eyes and looked up at Steve. “You dons have to pmretend asny moer,” She whispered out with a shaky voice. “I casn madke my owgn way gto ym room.” “What are you talking about?” Steve stopped and looked down on her. “Iz won’t not going ot terll Bucks,” Y/N yawned and looked around. “I kow yuo haze mee.” “Y/N, I do not hate you,” Steve sighed and started to walk again. “I never have and I am sorry for all the things I have said and done.” “Mmh,” Y/N leaned her head against his shoulder again. “We will talk more about this when you are sober,” Steve smiled at her. “Even if it means you will yell at me.” “Thas finneee,” Y/N mumbled and her eyes dropped close. “Thak yuo foor tazing caare oof mee.” She added after a moment of silence. “I will always be here for you,” Steve whispered knowing she probably would not remember it the next day. They were outside her door and Steve opened. It felt wrong to be there again, but he needed to get Y/N to bed. “Ydou know you are very stroong,” Y/N mumbled against his chest. “an you rsmell gooddd.” Steve smiled at that. “Iz tjust wissh you werte less fo aa ejrk.” Steve sighed and walked over to her bed. He gently set her down on the bed and crouched down in front of her taking off her high heels. Y/n sighed and looked down at him. “I wizh yomu liketd me,” She smiled sadly and started to pull on her sipper in the back of the dress. Steve’s eyes went wide. “What are you doing?” He asked looking unsure. Ignoring the fact that she thought that he did not like her. That was something to talk about when she was sober and would remember. “I cs’ant sleep inz this thiqgh drezs,” she mumbled and continue to try and get the sipper down. “Yvou need to help pme,” she said after a while looking at him with big eyes. Steve swallowed and looked around. “Do you have any pyjamas to change into?” He asked and silently wishing that Bucky would not come in as Steve was going to help her undress. “Iqn thhe tiop drzawer,” Y/N pointed in the general direction of her two dressers. Steve opened the first and hoped it would be pyjamas. But it was lace bras. He blushed and closed the drawer quickly, then he opened the other top drawer. There were old t-shirts. When he lifted the first one he saw that it was one of his old t-shirts he thought he had lost. Why did Y/N have it? “Will this work?” He went over to Y/n and showed her. “Thas perfelct,” Y/n smiled and tried to stand up. Steve pleased the t-shirt on his shoulder and helped her up. He steadied her with one hand, or more like an arm as she was clinging to it as a koala and turned her around slightly. He then pulled down the sipper slowly. Not to be creepy he tried not to look at her body, but at her hair. Y/N got her arms out of the dress, but Steve did not let her pull it the whole way down. He put the t-shirt over her head and over her body, but did not let her put in her arms just yet. The bra came off next with a quick opening of the claps in the back. Steve heard it hit the floor and closed his eyes. Y/N was almost naked in front of him. It felt like a dream as well as a nightmare. Y/N put the arms in the t-shirt and shimmied out of the dress. Steve helped her sit down on the bed and picked up her dress and bra and placed them on a chair. He then went over to the bed again. Y/N was just sitting there looking at him. “zi dfon’t want to szleep,” She whined and yawned again. “You have to,” Steve helped her lay down in her bed so she got her body under the duvet. “iz gwant breakfaste,” She whined again and put a pouted with her mouth. “Y/N, if you go to bed now I will make you breakfast in the morning,” Steve whispers out. “Veen waffles?” She asked and lifted her head to look at him. “Yes, even waffles,” Steve promised and she sighs. “waffles maze mre hrappy,” She smiled and lay down her head on the pillow. “You deserve to be happy,” Steve whispered and kissed her cheek. “Yooo tou,” She said and closed her eyes. Steve looked down on her and pulled the duvet up so it covered her. She had already fallen asleep. He could stay there the whole night looking at her, but figured that it would be creepy. “Good Night, Sweetheart,” Steve whispered and kissed her forehead, before walking out of her room. When he had closed the door to her room he turned around and Bucky was leaning on the opposite wall. “You got it bad,” Bucky smirked and Steve swallowed hard. “Yeah,” Steve admitted and looked back on Y/N’s door. “I do.” “Fuck,” Bucky said and stood up straight. “I did not think you would admit it.” “There is no point in denying it,” Steve said and left his friend looking after him. Steve knew what he had to do and he needed to do it soon if he was going to have a chance with Y/N.

You are laying in bed wondering if you are dying. Apparently going out drinking with the girls had been both a good idea and a bad one at the same time. You did not even remember how you got home after getting too drunk the night before. But you were alone in your bed and not naked so that counted for something. You even had on your favourite sleeping t-shirt, an old t-shirt after Steve that you took from the laundry a couple of months ago when you moved into the compound. At least you had not taken a stranger home to try and deal with your conflicted feelings over Steve. You had seen how Bucky was with Steve the day before and knew that they were on their way to go back to normal. And you wanted that for Bucky, but at the same time you wondered what would happen between Steve and you. That was when you heard it. The light knocking on your door. You figured it would be one of the girls checking up on you so you slowly sat up trying not to puke. When the room had stopped spinning you walked slowly over to the door and opened it. On the floor was a tray with coffee, orange juice, a bowl of berries, aspirin and waffles. Waffles were the thing you always ate after a night out drinking or when you needed a pick-me-up. It was happy food. You almost cried out of the sheer happiness, because it meant you could stay in your room and eat breakfast. After taking the tray to your bed you saw that there was a not on the tray as well.

After the night you had, I figured you could need something to make you survive the morning. ♡

You figured it must be either Nat, Wanda or Bucky who had made you the tray. Knowing Pepper she would already be in the office working hard and you could not see Tony making breakfast for you. Either way, you were happy that someone took care of you. You put the note on your bedside table to put somewhere safe later. After taking two aspirins and drinking some coffee you could feel the headache disappearing. During your breakfast, you smiled over at the notes a couple of times. You had to find out who gave you this breakfast so you could thank them.

It was not until hours later when you were watching Gilmore Girls on your laptop that you remember that your box the day before had a note in it as well. You took the note on your bedside table and walked over to your dresser and pulled out the note you got with the box and saw that it was the same handwriting. It made you smile. It must be Bucky. You decided to find him later in the day after you binged Gilmore Girls for a few hours. Today you needed a day of rest and recuperation after your wild night out.

A couple of hours later you meet Bucky in the hallway. He seems distracted. “Hey Bucky,” you greet him and smile. “Hey,” Bucky replies and is about to pass you. “I just wanted to thank you for my breakfast this morning as well as the gift box two days ago.” You smile at Bucky who stops, but his raised eyebrows told you that he was not the person behind this. “What?” Bucky said and you tilted your head. If it was not Bucky, then who? “What are you talking about?” “Two days ago there was a box outside my door with a lot of things like tea, books and chocolates as well as a note. And then this morning there was a tray outside my door with my preferable hangover food,” you explain. Bucky looks over your shoulder and smiles. Then he shrugs. “It was not me,” he smiles down at you. You sigh. “No, I got that from your face when I thanked you,” you say and cross your arms. “I wonder who it can be?” Bucky chuckles. “Maybe you should just let it be and enjoy the gifts,” Bucky shrugged again and walked away. You looked after him. Was he right? Should you just let it go? Since it was not Bucky maybe it was Wanda, Nat or Pepper. You did not feel like confronting them all, but maybe you could caught someone in the act of leaving things by your door if it happened again. But maybe it was a two time thing? It had been two days that you really needed what you had gotten. You decided to leave it be for now, but if you ever got the chance to look at your friends handwriting and compare with your notes, you would do that.

The next morning there is a soft knock on your door again. Thinking that this time you would find out who it is that left you the box and the breakfast you run to the door, but when you open there is nobody there. But on the floor, there is a white envelope. You pick it up and walk over to your bed. When you open the letter and read the first sentence you know that the letter is from Steve and everything else disappears from your mind. You frown down on the letter and wonder if you should read it or toss it away. But something inside you makes you read it.

Dear Y/N,

I have started this letter for what feels like a thousand times, but seeing the paper crumpled in my waste basket I would say it is closer to a hundred. I am having a hard time what to say to you, how to apologize and how to make things right between us. I have screwed this up in the past by trusting google, but the last time I tried to apologize to you gave me the eyeopener I needed. As well as some strong words from a few of our friends.

There are no words to tell you how sorry I am. That I hurt you, that I invaded your privacy and that I treated you so badly. I wish I could take it all back. Turn back the clock and make sure I did not do this to you again, but that is not possible. I asked Dr. Strange and he gave me a stern no.

This made you pause. Steve wanted to go back in time and fix things. He wanted to make things right from the beginning. It made a small smile appear on your face, but you tried to ignore it and got back to reading.

That leaves me with the only option of writing you a letter. It was actually Bucky’s suggestion a few days ago. But I think he might have been joking. Since I don’t want to trap you in a conversation with me I figured that this was the best idea. I understand if you don’t want to read this letter. In fact, you might just throw it away, but I needed to try. I need to be honest with you. With all of it.

To start when I met you in that grocery store so many years ago. You took my breath away with your smile. I felt like I had been struck by lightning and it was not until hours later that I figured out that you left in a hurry because of Sharon. And getting to know you by talking to you around Brooklyn was the highlight of me coming out of the ice and trying to navigate all the differences from what I was used to. You never treated me like anything other than Steve and I loved it. I was falling in love with you and when I saw you with Fury I started to wonder if you also been placed in my life to keep me safe. Sharon let it slip that she was not the only one in my life that was watching me. I figured you had to be the other person. I got so angry and while I forgave Sharon I had a problem doing the same to you, because I was falling for you and it all felt like a big lie. I started to ignore you and I treated you worse than anybody should ever be treated. When our paths crossed I took every chance to work against you and make your life hell. For that, I will always be sorry, more than you would ever know. But at every turn, you surprised me, not only by showing what an incredible woman you are but also by not letting me bring you down. By not dropping to my level. You always treated me good and never did anything bad to me. Every time you smiled at me or sassed at me I continued to fall for you. I could not help it.

This made you stop. He had been falling for you, as well, when you had met in Brooklyn. You had thought it was only you. And you had thought that he and Sharon had something going on since she had been all over him all the time. Even if it felt kind of icky that Steve would date Peggy’s niece. You tried to stop your racing heart by taking a couple of deep breaths. Then you continued to read on, curious of what Steve would have written next.

Then when you became a part of the Avengers and seeing you every damn day. It was torture. I did not want to admit to myself that I was in love with you. I acted like a child and did not treat you with the respect you deserved. Then when I saw Bucky and you getting close I got jealous. It was a new feeling for me. I am used to Bucky getting all the girls before, but when I saw him with you I lost it. I told myself that there had to be a reason you would get close to Bucky. There had to be a reason you were always there when I turned around. And the secrecy with your box I just told myself that you must be Hydra, even when I did not believe it myself. I could not wrap my head around any other possibility.

After I saw Bucky spin you around laughing and being happy in the library. That was what wrecked me. All the emotions going on inside me and I had no idea what to do about it. Then when I saw your door slightly open and the wooden box just standing there. I don’t really know what happened, but somehow I ended up in your room. When I saw the pictures my mind was trying to understand and all I could think was that you really were Hydra. Any other possibility flew out the window, but when I confronted you… I am going to be honest. I wanted to kiss you instead of accusing you. I wanted to take you into my arms. I wanted to hear what you were saying. But since I thought you were Buckys and just could not stop the words from coming out of me. I accused you of lying, of being Hydra. I saw what my words did to you but I could not take them back. After I left your room, I could not tell Bucky. I went to my room and looked at the photos I had taken. Deep inside me, I knew you were not Hydra, but I still went to Bucky. I have to tell you. Everyone believed in you and everyone was mad at me. I think Tony even thought about if there was a possibility to keep me out of the team.

This made you stop. His explanation was honest and felt raw. He was bearing himself for you in a way no man had ever done. You wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. And the Avengers without Steve? What would that even look like?

When I understood the magnitude of my behaviour I tried to get help, but all I got from Tony was to make my apology as loud as my disrespect. I googled and it stood that flowers were a good apology. And you were right. It was not an apology. All I could think was that maybe I bought the wrong kind of flowers. Stupid, right?

That part made you laugh. You liked flowers, even if sunflowers weren't your favourite flower you would have accepted them if they were given to you for the right reason.

I used google as my tool to find a way to apologize. Wanda later told me how wrong that was and that I needed to be honest to you. And honest is what I am going to be. Here goes nothing.

I am in love with you. I love the way you never back down. I love how you always have everyone's back. I love your laugh, it lights up my day. I love the little cute pout you get on your moth when you are reading and a character in your book are being stupid. I love how you sing Ed Sheeran songs when you are drunk.

Wait what? How did Steve know that? You had only been drunk once since you moved here. Then it’s like a truck hits you straight on. A flashback of Steve lifting you down from a bench while you were singing ‘Shape of you’ and laughing at you singing. Then another flashback of Steve helping you to bed whispering soft words and the promise of breakfast in the morning. Was Steve the one that made you the tray of breakfast? You walked over to where you put the two notes you had gotten, first with the box you got on your mother's death anniversary and then the one you got with the breakfast tray. You took them over to where you left the letter on your bed. It was Steve’s handwriting. He had done that for you. The feeling that was blooming in your chest was warm and kind of bubbling. You pick up the letter again and continue to read.

I love how you take care of Bucky, even if he does not notice that you do it. How you tell him about Becca and her life. The pictures you show him and how you make him a part of her life. I love how you smile always makes me weak in the knees and the way you say my name, even when you are angry. I love the way you kind of walk into the kitchen in the morning as a zombie until you had your coffee. I love that you dance around the kitchen and sing when you think you are alone. I could continue to list a million little things that make me love you, but I don’t think I have enough paper.

I know that this letter will not be enough for you to forgive me, but I hope it’s a start. Just know I am very sorry for everything and that I would do whatever I can to make you forgive me. And if there is never a chance of you ever reciprocating my feelings I still hope there is a chance that we can be friends.

Forever yours,

Steve ♡

You sat there in your bed wondering what to do still holding the letter. You reread it once. Then one more time. After the fifth time of rereading it, you still did not know what to do. So you left the letter on your bed and went to get ready for your day. Taking a shower and then halfway through getting dressed you walked over to the letter and read a section again. Then you continued to get dressed. All you could think was that you needed to talk to Steve. Even if you had no idea what to say to him.

You pick up the letter again and that is when you see it. A piece of paper still left in the envelope. You pull it out and open it. It was a sketch of you sitting in one of the windows in the library. Even the book cover is sketched so you can see that you are reading ‘Pride and Prejudice’. A book that you found in the library over a month ago and read in one sitting. One of your favorite books. That meant that this sketch was done a month ago. You did not even need to look in the right corner to see Steve’s name, because you knew he did this. Before he accused you of being Hydra, before everything had gone to hell. It only made you realise that the words he wrote in the letters were true. You were about to put the picture on your bedside table when you saw something written on the backside.

One word from you shall silence me forever. ♡

A sentence that Mr. Darcy had told Lizzy before he professed his love for her again in the end of ‘Pride and Prejudice’. It made your heart beat faster. You needed to talk to Steve. You took the letter and the sketch with you and left your room to find Steve.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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@buckysmischief

@allaboutthebooz

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@dee-vn

@soleil-dor

@readermia

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@buckys-other-punk

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@taketimeandappreciate

#Nexus #Nexus Series #Steve Rogers x reader #Steve x reader #Captain America x reader #Steve #Steve Rogers #Marvel #Avengers #Steve Rogers Series #Steve Series #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky x reader #Marvel Series #Avengers Series

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deniigi · 4 years

Text

anyways the discord has fucked me up 6 ways to hell.

Have some Sam/Ned/Peter/Johnny/MJ

Because we couldn’t pick a ship and we discovered Sam/Ned, and now we’re all devastated by it.

Title: Anenome’s an Enemy

Summary: The polycule welcomes Sam into its ranks.

Notes: So the polycule consists of Ned, Peter and MJ who are all romantically involved and established. Peter is also in an on/off relationship with Johnny, but Johnny is just friends with Ned and MJ. Oh. And these are Inimitable Verse characters.

It started with Ned and MJ reading the texts from the groupchat in order to psychoanalyze Peter’s teammates.

This was not new.

Peter let them read the bullshit fairly regularly. It was only fair that they got to see what he was giggling about.

What was new was Ned asking who BT was.

Peter had thought that they’d met at Matt and Foggy’s wedding, but Ned couldn’t remember Sam being there, and, to be fair, Peter had noticed that Sam had an extraordinary ability to blend himself into the background when there were multiple people having a conversation.

MJ barely remembered Sam, too, for that reason precisely, so Peter asked Sam if he could send a selfie ‘for the home team to admire.’

Sam said that he wasn’t comfortable with that.

It was super surprising.

Peter apologized for asking and Sam waved it off, saying that he just didn’t know how to take selfies for anyone besides his sister and friends and he just didn’t want to screw it up. Which was code for ‘I am actually really fucking uncomfortable with this whole thing; please don’t ask me why I’m saying no.’

Peter dropped it.

MJ didn’t forget about it, though, and so he had to explain that Blindspot was a little camera shy.

Ha.

Get it?

Because Blindspot?

Ned told him that it was kind of weird that Sam didn’t want to take a picture for him when he was cool taking them for his other friends; MJ said that it was probably because he didn’t want her and Ned to see his face and Ned relented a little bit.

“We’ve already met him, though?” he pointed out. “Surely that was worse in this scenario?”

Well. In Sam’s world, it was probably better, actually, Peter thought. In real life, he could smile and duck out of sight and stay out of range. A picture was forever.

“He’s probably got a reason,” MJ continued. “Or his folks were probably those ‘put it on the internet and it never goes away’ types.”

Uh.

Probably?

“I think,” Peter said quietly, because he didn’t actually know—because Sam never actually said the words out loud—“That he might be undocumented?”

He got two sets of eyes his way immediately.

“Oh,” Ned said. “That’s completely understandable then.”

“Yikes,” MJ said. “Does he need help? I’ve got some stuff saved if he needs legal stuff.”

No. No, Peter thought that Sam probably knew more about his situation than any of them did. He knew what kind of help he needed and he might take offense at links or brochures passed his way, so he shrugged and told the others that Sam probably had the situation under control.

The other two dropped the subject after saying that the next time Sam was in the area, they should all get dinner or something.

Peter extended this invite to Sam and got back a simple ‘thanks 🙂’.

Sam didn’t talk to him for the rest of the week.

At about week two of radio silence in the chat and in personal texts, Peter asked Matt if he’d overstepped.

Matt didn’t answer the question. What he said was that, as far as he could tell, Sam was okay at work and in their training. He noted that Sam went through cycles of being very open and chatty and then withdrawing into himself for days and weeks at a time. He left it at that.

He didn’t say ‘he has been violently reminded about all the shit he can’t do and is protecting himself from you and your ilk.’

He didn’t say that.

But Peter still felt it.

SM: hey BT, hope you’re okay. Didn’t mean to overstep the other day. Sorry about that. Let me know if you need anything.

BT: I’m okay

BT: I’ll let you know.

BT: ❤

MJ told Peter that he was blowing things out of proportion.

“If Matt says he goes through cycles, then he goes through cycles, Peter,” She scolded. “Matt can’t lie for shit. Not about people he cares about.”

…Right.

But what if—

What if—

“I just feel like shit because I don’t know how to make him feel better,” Peter admitted. “I feel like I broke his trust or something.”

“He’s not not talking to you,” MJ said. “He’s just not info-dumping. And you don’t know his life, it might not have been you making him feel bad. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your mistakes, you know.”

Right, right.

Yeah, he knew.

PP: hey matt did I fuck up?

MM: ?

PP: I think I fucked up. can you tell Sam I’m really really sorry?

MM: Sammy’s fine?

MM: He’s discovered jalapeño Cheetos and he and foggy are making my life hell.

MM: they’re both very cheerful right now.

MM: did something happen?

PP: I think so? I asked him for a picture a while ago for Ned and MJ and he hasn’t spoken to me in 2 weeks. I mean like really spoken. I said sorry but I’m not getting back more than 5 word responses

MM: ah

MM: he’s okay Peter

PP: is he really tho??

MM: lol

MM: yeah buddy he’s okay

PP: what is ‘lol???’

MM: lol

PP: Matt.

MM: I’m a confidante I cannot say. But it is very cute.

PP: ????

PP: Matt I’m spiraling

PP: can you just like tell me I haven’t single handedly ruined our friendship?

MM: HA

PP: MATT

MM: no can do. You’ll have to ask him, friend.

PP: god when did you turn into such a dad?

MM: when I got all these fuckin kids I didn’t ask for. Fuck off squirt

PP: I hate you too

MM: ❤

Johnny held Peter’s face between two palms and told him he was being a dramatic piece of shit and it was Johnny’s turn this month.

Johnny was offended.

Peter made sad sounds at him until he relented and agreed to come sit at the table with MJ to psychoanalyze all Peter’s Bad Friend behaviors.

Johnny did not like to sit at the table with MJ, mostly because MJ kept stabbing him with her eyes, but he came along and gave Ned a big hug in the doorway.

MJ stabbed him with her eyes for that, too.

Johnny paged through the texts Peter had screenshotted and printed out and tossed on the table with a collection of pens and after a while, blinked once and jerked his head up suddenly to stare into MJ’s eyes.

MJ glared at him languidly.

Peter sat on his hands, all highlighters and pen privileges having been revoked after the second guilt spiral two minutes ago, and looked between them, back and forth.

They said nothing to him.

They spoke only in narrowing eyes and squirming eyebrows.

Peter hated when they did shit like this.

“Peter,” MJ finally said after a good three minutes of awkward silence. “When you went back west to stay with Matt and Fogs, where did you stay?”

Where?

Well, their house?

“Where in their house?” MJ asked like she already knew the answer. She tangled a hand into her hair in exasperation. Johnny brought both hands up to his face to hide a huge smile.

Wh—

Where?

In the house?

Well, Angel and Louis had taken the couch and Ellie and Wade had been in the guest bedroom, so he’d stayed in Sam’s room with him.

Ned sighed loudly from the couch. His typing slowed down as he slouched lower and lower into the cushions.

Peter didn’t get it.

Why was everyone staring at him?

“Buddy,” Johnny said kindly. “You’re so fucking stupid, you make me look smart.”

“You are smart,” Peter said. “Why am I stupid?”

MJ held out her hand for his phone. He gave it to her without question.

PP: hey matt its MJ.

PP: does Sam have a crush on Peter?

MM: I don’t know MJ, does he?

MJ held the phone up to Peter’s face while Johnny shriek-giggled into his palms.

Peter felt a little like jelly.

All wobbly and shit.

“He likes me?” he blurted out.

MJ blinked slowly. Johnny pounded a fist against the table, wheezing.

“He thinks you want a picture for your friends,” he said. “He thinks you’ve friendzoned him. Oh my god. Peter.”

WHAT WHAT WHAT

“Give me that,” Peter said, snatching his phone.

PP: matt this is peter this is not a drill

PP: he likes me??? Like likes-likes? Or just likes?

MM: why do you children keep asking me stupid questions?

MM: ask each other stupid questions

No.

“What do I do?” Peter asked the other two.

Johnny hummed and poked at his chin. MJ leaned over towards the couch with an outstretched hand. Ned took it in a show of moral support.

Once she’d powered back up, MJ turned back to Peter with infinite patience.

“Do you like him too?” she asked.

Did he—did he like Sam?

Well, obviously he liked Sam. Sam was funny and brilliant and always down to get in a bit of trouble. He was sensitive to others and he picked himself back up every time shit hit him.

He was warm.

His energy was warm. And welcoming. And he seemed to constantly be fighting that.

But he was Matt’s. Not in that way.

Like, he was Matt’s apprentice. Functionally, he was Matt’s apprentice, but actually, even back when Peter had just met him, he’d known that Sam was more than that to Matt.

Sam denied it. Matt denied it. But they were very, very close. Closer than Peter had been allowed to be with Matt.

Matt would fight to the death for Peter, Peter knew this; there had been a few close calls over the years. But Matt gave off this weird vibe with Sam.

It was a buzz. Peter felt it low in his neck. Humming.

The Spidey Sense didn’t like Matt being behind him when Peter was with Sam. It thought he was a threat.

And that? That was not normal. Matt had stood behind Peter for more than a decade and never, not once, had the Spidey Sense reacted that way to him.

Peter had told Wade about it and Wade’s eyes had softened. He’d clasped Peter’s shoulder and said that he was ‘touched as hell,’ which Peter didn’t understand at first.

He kind of got it more now.

Sam was Matt’s. What he was exactly wasn’t super clear. But Matt was willing and ready not just to die, but potentially to torture, for Sam and he didn’t fucking like anyone being too close to him—especially not another vigilante.

Sam was off limits.

Touch him and suffer the consequences.

That message was loud and clear.

So even if Peter thought that Sam was warm and brilliant and so easy to sink into, it didn’t matter.

Johnny and MJ and Ned considered this by drumming fingers on noses and chins and making humming sounds.

“Red seems okay with BT having a crush on you, though?” Johnny said. “He’s joking about it, after all. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to make the first move? You do kind of have a track record, Peter.”

That made a lot of sense actually.

“So what, I have to wait for Sam to say something or to get over me?” Peter asked.

“Pretty much,” MJ said. “Unless anyone else has a better idea?”

No one did.

Man, bummer.

Sam came back into contact a few days later like nothing had happened. He was concerned about definitions of seals. He needed people to help him work through them. Evidently, Matt, Foggy, and Kirsten hadn’t done the job.

Matt said nothing about no one, which was infuriating as always.

And so it went.

BT: heyyyyyyyyyyyyy peter

SM: lol hey you what’s up?

BT: m drunk

SM: oh word?

BT: Leilani told me no to taext no one butttttt I hate meself so here we are

SM: Leilani?

BT: fremd

SM: dude red said you finish all your girlfriends drinks?

BT: is my scared duty

BT: scared

BT: sacred

SM: sam you’re like 140 pounds

BT: 😘

SM: okay sure I’m proud of you. how many did you chug

BT: hey teach says that you’re a people eater is that true?

SM: people eater? No. I am spider

BT: hello spider I am dog

SM: ASDF:SAfasFDf

BT: no like he says that you go through people a lot

SM: I have a lot of exes

BT: oh neat

BT: I have none exes

SM: what?? Really??

BT: rly

SM: have you ever dated someone?

BT: I don’t date

BT: fuck em and leave em

SM: oh

SM: does that work for you?

BT: easy

SM: wow okay

BT: I don’t want to be your ex. Can we just fuck and say notging about it?

BT: nothing

BT: like it doesn’t have to matter

BT: donst have to go anwhere

SM: yeah. I’m down with that, I guess?

BT: !!!!

SM: I mean if you are. Next time we’re in the same area we can do smth

BT: nice

BT: I think Imma puke

SM: uh?? Don’t puke in bed

SM: BT?

SM: Sam?

BT: did not we’re good hey thanks

BT: that’s cool of you.

BT: I promise Ima a good lay ❤

SM: you could be more than that too, you know?

BT: Good night!!!

MJ held her face as Peter straddled her hips with his phone two inches from her nose.

Ned snickered.

“Help me,” MJ begged of him.

He shook his head. Peter shook his phone.

“Friend,” he said.

“Fuckbuddy,” MJ told him. “Don’t fall in love with him, Peter.”

Too fuckin’ late, babe.

Ned started shaking with laughter.

Once.

It happened once.

Kirsten was in New York for reasons. She brought backup in the form of Sam and some of his coworkers. They were on a 3 day mission, then Sam was catching a train to go help Clint out with a case down in Florida on Matt’s request.

Three days was plenty of time to get up to some shenanigans.

And Sam’s sides were tight. Strong.

Weirdly flexible?

“You’re great,” Sam told him immediately after their ‘shenanigans.’ “I’m leaving.”

Woah, woah, woah, there cowboy.

What’s the rush?

Sam, already back in his black hoodie, blinked owlishly and then squinted.

“Is this not how this works?” he asked.

Uuuuuuuh.

No?

“Stay,” Peter told him, pulling at his sweater. “Have dinner with me and my partners. They want to meet you.”

Sam smiled at him.

It was a bitter one.

“I’ve gotta jet, Pete,” he said. “For real. Thanks, though. Tell them I said hi.”

When he left Peter felt a little like slamming his hand against the bedside table. But that would shatter the bedside table, so he laid back and let the self-loathing begin.

Johnny thought that Sam was maybe a little insecure and so Peter should chill the fuck out.

“He’s probably never been with a polyamorous person,” he told Peter. “He might be trying to respect MJ and Ned.”

That made sense.

Too much sense.

“And anyways, your agreement was ‘fuck and leave,’” Johnny said. “If you want more than that you’re gonna have to—”

Don’t say it.

“You’re gonna have to—”

Stop singing.

“You’re gonna have to communicate, boo-bear.”

Fuck off.

No words. Only unrequited feelings and misery.

Johnny laughed.

“You’re a mess,” he said.

Whatever.

Okay, but once is happenstance, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern, no?

Matt sent a text to Peter that said simply ‘I will end you.’

That was basically proof, right?

That was Matt’s shovel talk, right??

MJ and Ned stared at him in horror.

“I think, Peter,” MJ said, “This is a warning.”

Yeah, a shovel talk. Peter had been through infinite shovel talks.

“Maybe you should talk to BT,” MJ said.

“Rephrasing that,” Ned said. “You should definitely talk to BT.”

Okay, fine.

SM: hey sam

SM: what are we doing, man?

SM: Matt’s threatening to end me

BT: ignore him he’s got zero right

SM: are you sure?

BT: I thought we weren’t talking about this

SM: I kinda want to talk about it?

BT: 🙂 I don’t

SM: oh

SM: sorry

SM: I thought that maybe there was just something more there?

BT: there isn’t. Sorry Peter.

SM: …are you sure?

BT: yes

SM: you’re kind of not giving me confidence that you’re sure, sam. Not enough emojis.

BT: I don’t want to talk

BT: thanks for trying tho!

BT: it means a lot ❤

SM: is it okay if I talk then?

BT: I will not stop you

SM: okay great because I’m kinda? Falling? For you?

SM: like you’re really cute? And funny? And insanely smart and really nice and super good at everything you do? And you have your ideals and you don’t waver?

SM: and idk if you know anything about me or my people that that’s uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

SM: how to say

SM: my type

BT: I’m not a type 🙂

SM: no, obviously you’re a person. And I just.

SM: I’ve got love disease

BT: don’t say that word

SM: okay?

SM: are you uncomfortable?

BT: yes

BT: profoundly

SM: okay sorry I’ll stop

BT: peter I like you but I can’t be anything more to you

SM: ?? Why not??

BT: why not????

BT: because DD is my teacher, okay?? And you’re his mentee/brother/teammate whatever.

BT: and I’m not ruining what I have with him because I can’t control my fucking emotions.

BT: this is my shot.

BT: I only have one.

BT: and you’re great. You’re amazing. But I can’t throw it away.

SM: oh

SM: no yeah. That’s fair.

SM: sorry I didn’t mean to push

BT: its fine

SM: is that why you don’t date?

BT: I don’t date because no one cares.

SM: sam that’s not true

BT: can we just? Not?

SM: no? On this thing? No? People care about you? And they would be lucky to have you if you wanted them?

BT: I don’t want them

SM: are you aro?

BT: idk what that means

SM: Aromantic? You don’t feel romantic attraction?

BT: I still don’t know what that means

SM: okay well if you are, then that’s totally cool just so you know.

BT: I’m sorry

SM: don’t be sorry, you’re fine. I was the one pushing.

BT: no this is how it always goes. I’m sorry. I’m just gonna step back if that’s okay

SM: ? you don’t have to. Lol. If you think a rejection is the kind of thing to put a dent in my relationships with people, you got another thing coming pal.

BT: I didn’t mean it like that

SM: it’s okay if you did

SM: but sam you also know that it’s okay to be known a little bit, right?

BT: its not.

Hhhhhhhhhhng.

“Peter,” Ned said. “Bud, look at me.”

Peter did--with maximum misery.

“I love you,” Ned said. “You are cornering this guy.”

FFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffuck.

“I’m never texting again,” Peter said.

“Bro, chill,” Ned said. “He likes you, okay? He literally said that. And he also said that he doesn’t want to fuck things up with his teacher. We know that Matt’s polyamorous. We know that he gets it. But does BT know that? Have they actually talked about this kind of thing? Hell no. Matt won’t talk to Foggy about romantic shit, why would he talk to BT about it?”

Fffffffffffffffffffffair point.

“Dramatic,” Ned scolded. “Here, let me try.”

Beg your pardon, sir?

“I just want to calm him down,” Ned said. “You know, apologize for my idiot’s pressure.”

Ah.

Right.

Phone’s all yours then.

PP: hi BT, this is Ned. I’m peter’s bf.

PP: listen man I just want to say that you’re completely fine. Don’t worry about this stuff too much. Me and MJ don’t mind you two hanging out and doing stuff. We’ve already talked through a lot of this for another guy.

PP: but also like, if you like Peter, that’s okay? He’s infuriatingly likeable. I know, I’ve been here since 3rd grade. If that feels weird to you, though, it might help if you talked to Matt about Kirsten and how they came to be.

PP: it’s okay

PP: whatever you decide, I promise: it’s okay. And you seem super nice and you make my partner really happy (fuckin dopey tbh) so if you ever just want to come and chill, that’s totally good. We’d like to meet you at some point, but no pressure if that makes you uncomfortable.

PP: I’ll be honest, BT, I don’t know much about you.

PP: MJ’s started following you on twitter tho and she says youre funny af. So if you want to join the nerdcrowd over here (unless you’re startrek trash) you’ll always be welcome to our place.

PP: anyways sorry that Peter’s Like That™

PP: he never learned how to quit

PP: hope you get a moment to chill and process dude. –Ned

Read 12:24

BT: are you sure?

PP: oh hey. About what?

BT: all of it?

PP: yeah man I’m sure. MJ is too, she’s just on Peter-beating duty rn so she can’t come to the phone

BT: ok

PP: hey are you shy?

BT: what? No. why do you ask?

PP: no reason. you just seem a little shy.

BT: ☹

PP: lol

PP: you okay?

BT: yes

PP: you want to process?

BT: no

PP: have you already processed?

BT: how do you know that?

PP: because you’re shy and I used to be more shy so you probably either talked it out to yourself or you called your mom or bff or something

BT: I don’t have

BT: sry yeah I talked it out with foggy

PP: you don’t have a mom?

BT: …or a bff. But there is foggy. He’s been helpful.

PP: dude how do you not have a bff? You need a bff

BT: I have plenty of friends ☹

PP: but no bff

BT: AND a sister

PP: but no bff

BT: I COULD have a bff. I just choose not to. For style.

PP: lolololol

PP: peter’s right you’re cute. Okay I’ve gotta give him back his phone before he implodes. Nice talking to you.

BT: okay byeee

Peter straddled Ned and held the phone two inches from his face.

This was witchcraft.

Dark magic.

The least he could do was share.

“I literally just took the pressure off, dude, I don’t know what’s hard about this,” Ned said while MJ watched them over the back of the couch like a cat.

“Teach me your ways, sorcerer,” Peter said.

Ned grabbed his elbow.

“You will never attain my power,” he said.

Peter dropped his full weight on top of him.

Sam came around eventually.

Peter’s heart fucking stopped. Johnny clapped for him when the text came in that said, ‘DD says he doesn’t mind and he’s already doled out threats. So? Do you maybe want to start over?’

Peter screamed.

Johnny took his phone from him and let him scream better.

“I want to seeeee,” Johnny hummed. “Give us a picture, Blindspot. Are you a little hottie?”

“Shortie,” Peter whimpered.

The phone went down and Johnny’s head came up.

“That’s deadly,” he said.

“I know,” Peter told him.

Sam was…how to say.

Light touch.

Skittish.

Not good with even the slightest bit of pressure.

Peter hadn’t realized how much of a front he put up in front of other people until he tried to get him talking about shit that mattered and only then did he fully realize the extent to which Sam was exactly like Matt.

Trying to steer him towards emotions and negotiation and heartfelt discussion was like telling a fish that it could only swim one direction.

Sam’s reaction in every case was ‘okay that’s fine, let’s never mention this again--also I’m not going to do that; you just do what you want to me and I’ll figure everything else out on my own.’

Mind boggling.

Zero skills in that department.

Ned thought it was absolutely adorable.

MJ thought it was funny as fuck.

“Matt is useless,” Peter told them. “Absolutely useless. He’s done this shit for twenty fucking years and he’s just letting Sam work it out on his own?”

“Maybe that’s his teaching method?” Ned pointed out.

No, it absolutely was his teaching method. But that was the problem.

Fuck.

“Sam,” Peter said on the phone a while later, “Listen, buddy. I recognize that you are allergic to feelings, but this is what we have to do to get what we want.”

Sam hung up.

Dude.

“Threatened,” Ned said. “Come on. Gimme.”

Ned accused Peter of not telling him that Sam was Chinese. Peter told him that Sam’s twitter was literally half-written in Chinese.

Ned accused MJ of not telling him that Sam was Chinese and MJ said simply ‘my bad’ and got away with that shit, like she always did.

Unbelievable.

Johnny asked if Sam was interested in a superhero-sandwich and Peter got to take his aggression out on his pressure points.

Still, though, Peter was kind of glad that Ned was leading the charge on this. Firstly, because Ned so rarely stepped into these things with authority and it was really warming and lovely to see him so interested in bringing another person into their polycule. And secondly because Ned had the lightest touch of them all.

Peter, MJ, and Johnny were all helmet heads wielding hammers. The only thing keeping them from self-destruction were all the YIELD signs they’d set around their circle.

Ned typically just waded in between them all to tug Peter and MJ out of the battlezone and into a semblance of humanity.

So it was nice—no, it was cute that Ned was developing a little crush on Sam.

MJ thought so, too.

“I do love fresh meat to tenderize,” she said.

Peter stared.

“That is not the vibe we’re going for,” he reminded her.

MJ waved him off.

“Peter.”

What’d he do now?

Ned held the phone seriously out to him.

“Tell Sam I want a picture of him to put on the wall next to my mirror,” he said.

Peter blinked.

“That’s creepy, dude,” he said.

“It will make him laugh and he’s still not comfortable sharing yet,” Ned said. “But he trusts you more than me.”

Ah.

Right.

Okay sure.

Peter texted.

Sam sent back only eye emojis.

Ah.

“So,” Peter said while Ned tapped a foot impatiently on the kitchen linoleum. “There’s something you should know.”

Ned cocked his head at him.

“Dude,” MJ said. “That’s wild.”

Sam’s eyes were, uh, how to say.

Inhuman.

Johnny shrieked, took the phone and climbed into Peter’s lap.

“He’s so cute, Peter, bring him home, I’ll be so nice,” he pleaded.

Johnny was not the one who was going to need reminders to be nice.

“How does he see?” Ned asked.

Uhhhhhhh.

Oh, you know…

Not well.

Johnny lowered the phone.

“He’s blind?” he asked.

“Not blind,” Peter said. “But low vision.”

The room seemed to go quiet for a minute.

“Is Matt his—”

“No,” Peter sighed.

“Are you sure?” MJ asked. “These coincidences are stacking.”

“No,” Peter repeated. “His dad’s Chinese. He was born in Fuzhou, I think.”

“Oh,” MJ said.

“So he can’t see very well,” Ned repeated.

“He does okay in daytime,” Peter said. “And he does best with high contrast. But like, pictures can be hard sometimes if they’re too light or too dark. He doesn’t really ask for much help, but he and Matt kinda puzzle over stuff if you’re not careful. And if you’re extra not careful, they’ll make their own memes and they’ll be full of blind jokes.”

The room held still for another moment.

“Okay, so what do we need to do?” Ned asked.

The first time the others met Sam, Peter had to chase him down the hall and even then, it was only via Matt’s aid that he was placed back in Peter’s apartment.

Matt pointed a finger at Sam’s eye and told him that he was to stay ‘right fuckin here’ until he was done at the courthouse.

“Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars,” Matt said as Sam tried and failed to bite that finger. “I want an intact paralegal by the end of this trip, and I will not have an intact paralegal if you go around gettin’ noticed by the fuckin’ Irish, yes?”

“I can take ‘em,” Sam said.

Matt sneered.

“I don’t know why I bother,” he said. “Stay. Those are orders.”

“Fuck your orders,” Sam shot back at him, to the horror of everyone else in the room.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘fuck your orders,’ whatever,” Matt said. “Stay put.”

Sam bared his teeth after him.

Only when the door closed, did he finally give notice that other people were in the room. Johnny lit up.

“You’re short and angry,” he said.

Sam rounded on him.

MJ loved Sam now.

MJ told everyone else to get out, Sam was the only person who mattered.

Johnny thought that Matt needed to come back and take his rabid dog with him. Sam told him to stay out of his face and they wouldn’t have any more problems, but, seeing as Johnny was incapable of not adding fuel to fire, Peter kept him behind himself for the time being.

Ned was probably the person in the most shock of Sam, however.

Peter forgot how Sam came off to other people.

Very unassuming. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. His prosthetics hid his black sclera, and even if he did tend to lift his face towards the light more often than other people, he did it so subtly, you’d think he was nodding along to a tune in his head.

Sam looked like your friend.

Your neighbor. Your classmate. The one with the baby face, you know.

His hair was getting longer, Peter noticed. He pointed it out and Sam softened enough to tell him that he was going for something a little more hipster.

“If I let it keep going, it’ll start swooping,” he told Peter. “The swoop is very in right now, Peter.”

Peter believed him.

He had no idea what that meant. But he believed him.

“You know what’s not in?” Johnny asked. “Friendly fire.”

Sad sneered at him.

“I ain’t know you from Adam,” he snapped.

Ned lifted a fist to his face in a sign that Peter recognized well and it took everything in him not to smirk and start teasing.

“Okay, let’s start over,” Peter said. “Sam, these are my friends, or, uh. Our polycule, if you will.”

He had Sam’s attention now.

“Polycule?” he asked.

Indeed.

“’Cause it’s shaped like a molecule,” MJ said. “And everyone here is also a nerd.”

Sam looked at her.

“You’re MJ,” he said.

“You’re Blindspot,” MJ said. “What makes you blind?”

“The trauma,” Sam said without missing a beat.

Peter waved Johnny off and set his hands on Sam’s shoulders.

“Sam’s made an invisibility suit,” he said.

He had everyone’s attention now.

“You did what?” Ned said.

Sam blinked and then shrugged a shoulder.

“What, like it’s hard?” he asked.

Oh yeah.

He was gonna fit in fine.

#samuel chung #peter parker #ned leeds #michelle jones #johnny storm #fic #ficlet #inimitable verse #the discord is going to destroy me truly #I love everyone in this bar #Matt is old and grumpy

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johnshelbysbabygirll · 4 years

Text

The princess of the family - SHELBY SISTER

Request: @mrswinchester29

Words: 1640

hello loviees

this is my first Shelby Sister fic and i’m sorry if is anything wrong with it, but i will improve!! and the one who requested it, i hope it is what you wanted and i’m sorry for changing it a little bit, i hope that’s fine. also thank you sm for your request

love you all xx

It's not that late, but as soon as it get dark outside, the streets are empty and at this hour you don't really see women outside on their own. The exception is [Y/N] Shelby; the stubborn little sister of the Peaky Blinders. Of course you know about your family business and that they have a lot of enemies, but you just don't care. You don't want to be hold back by this; like a beautiful bird in a cage. You want to live.

And despite Tommy's orders, you were alone at shopping all day without anyone knowing about it. You knew that your family, mostly your brothers, will be very mad once you get home and that's why you took your time.

You have bags in both of your hands and you walk down the street, thinking about the dresses you bought and the pairs of earrings you bought for Ada and Polly and for your sisters-in-law. But your happy thoughts are interrupted by some loud noises right behind your back. Turning your head over your shoulders, you can see two massive figure walking in your directions just as fast as you and this make you skeptical, but you keep on walking, trying to ignore them as much as you can. Polly's house is right after the corner. Maybe they are not following you. Maybe it is just in your head, you thought.

But when your turn to the left, a hand grab you by the back of your coat and push you roughly into the wall. You let out a whimper because of the pain you feel in your head and you look right into a man's full of rage eyes. They look older, but you can't really see their faces because of the low lights.

"I hoped to find one of their whores called wives, but find the princess by her own? That's so much more than I hoped."

They both laugh and you try to break free by hitting them, but you have no chance alone. Not when two stronger men are holding you still, your bags at the ground in the mud.

"What the fuck do you want?" You growl at them, getting angry by the way they are just smirking at you.

"Oh, I heard about your big mouth..."

He grabs you with his thumb and pointing finger, holding you tight by your chin and making you shut your eyes for a moment, but you don't wanna show any fear. So you look right into their eyes with a dead expression.

"About the shit you always talk and you never got troubles for it because of your brothers."

"Until now." The other one speaks and your whole body start shaking when a hand touch your leg underneath your dress.

"Let me fuckin go now. My brothers will kill you!" You hate to use their names, but you start to get scared; the look on their faces makes them look insane and you can feel how much they want to hurt you, to destroy you. He grab your ankle so tight that you almost scream, your leg around his waist now and you try to hit him again as they touch your thighs with their dirty hands.

The other one grabs your chin, turning your face to him to kiss your lips. You yell in pure terror and you do the first thing that come into your mind: you spit him right into the face. The next thing you know is a slap you receive on your cheek and then another one and another until you can't feel your face anymore. You don't even realize that you are crying and screaming for help, forgetting about the issues you have with your overprotective family and begging to God that someone will help you now.

They rip your dress over your chest, placing disgusting kisses all over your bare skin and you scream again, but your voice it's covered now by gunshots.

"Let my sister down before I bloody shoot you right between your eyes." Ada says sternly and you cry at the sight of her. You love your sister so much, but you never were so happy to see her like you are in this moment.

She shoot again and they drop you at the ground; bullets in their legs as they quickly run away from you. You remain there with your hands at your mouth, crying and not really believing that this really happened. Ada was over to you in a second, letting you cry at her warm chest while she caresses your hair.

"It's fine, love. I'm here now. We're here with you. Can you walk?"

You didn't understand why she said "we", but then you see Finn running to you with terror all over his face.

"[Y/N] they...?"

"No." Ada answer it for you and you just start crying harder as Finn breathe out in relief. That thought was killing him.

He took you into his arms, you wishing you could just hide yourself completely at his chest. But you can't. You feel his every breathe and heart beat as he walks, almost run in fact, over to Polly's house while Ada tell someone to informs your brothers that you are here now, that they found you at the right time. Everyone was looking for you and now you are glad they did.

"Oh God." You hear Polly's voice as Finn enter the house and he and Michael gentle lay you onto the sofa. "My baby girl." She have tears in her eyes as she wraps her arms around you and you are finally home.

"Who did this to her?" Grace whisper, talking to them while she places some blankets on your shoulders. You were shaking.

"I don't know, but they will be fucking dead by-..."

"Finn, shut your mouth! She don't need this right now." Esme lowered in front you and after giving Finn a glare, she softly speaks to you. "[Y/N], can I look at your wounds? We have to clean them..."

Polly caresses your hair and back all this time, whispering softly words into your ears just like a mother she is for all of you. You nod your head and you take a deep breath; you were suffocating at her chest because of all the tears and you didn't even realized it. But you wanted to stop with all the crying now.

Finn walk out of the room, waiting outside for his brothers, not wanting to look anymore at your sore and bruised face. You wrap up the blanket around you as you stand up a little and you let Esme to clean your face, as Grace and Ada were doing the same with your hands, while talking with you. Polly holds you tight in her arms and Linda run into the kitchen to prepare a tea for you.

"Where's is she?"

"How's she?"

"I'm gonna fuckin hang the ones who did this."

After a few more minutes, your crying stopped and you slowly calmed yourself down, but then your brothers came and you all heard their voices from outside the house. You were almost sleeping in Polly's arms with the girls next to you; no one was talking, but it helped you to know that they are here.

Ada remain with you as everyone walk out; Polly's quickly shushed her nephews who are beyond angry, furious and wanting to kill every person that did this to their little princess.

"You can be Peaky Blinders later when she's not crying her eyes out. She needs you now." Polly says while looking at them.

"She needs all of us." Linda says and everyone agrees with her as they slowly walk back into the living room.

John close his eyes and sigh at the sight of his little sister, bruised and with bloodshot eyes; the same eyes all of you have and the eyes he hates to see in this way. Tommy feel like his stone heart is melting when he take a sit next to you, Arthur raising you into his lap while John is in your left with Finn. Everyone else is also there on the chairs, letting you all having a moment. Surrounded by the ones you love and love you, you smile a little, trying to forget that hell you've been through.

"You understand now why we are so protective with you." Tommy softly says and grabs your hand in his, kissing it after. Grace shouts him a glare, not wanting this to become a fight and make you feel worse, but you nod and whisper, talking for the first time since Ada and Finn found you with a raspy voice you don't usually have.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I was such a pain in your asses."

"And ya still are." John is smirking at you and you let your head on his shoulder.

"But we don't mind." Arthur softly kiss your cheek and you close your eyes, feeling how thankful you really are for having them in your life.

"And I hope you know we gonna cut to death the bastards that did that to our princess." Tommy says and you smile again, but he was serious, no joking in his voice nor his face. John, Arthur and Finn nod immediately.

"That did what to me?"

You're raise your eyebrows, trying to joke and everyone let out a chuckle. Your body is in pain, but you can't say anything or even think about that when your whole family is here with you now.

"I love you so much. All of you."

Later that night, you are peacefully sleeping on the couch with Tommy, Arthur and John by your side and no one dares to wake you up. Polly places some blankets over you and walk the stairs up to her bedroom, still watching you with a smile on her lips, knowing that your mother will be so happy and proud to see you now.

#peaky blinders imagines #peaky x reader #john shelby #thomasshelby #arthurshelby #shelby family #shelby fluff #shelby sister #shelby sister imagine #polly gray

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stellarune · 3 years

Note

(Part 2. Please let me know if you want more because these are really fun to make, but I don’t want to take up your time/askbox if you don’t like them.)

Tam wakes up slowly and even then he isn’t really sure he’s quite awake. His head’s a bit foggy and wherever he is doesn’t feel farmiliar... then again, he hasn’t quite opened his eyes yet, so maybe it’s just his head playing tricks on him.

And while he certainly doesn’t want to open his eyes quite yet, the way his right arm is draped over a foreign object is making him too curious to resist.

It takes a few blinks for the fuzzy shapes to become solid ones.

Slowly, Tam’s eyes follow his elbow up to where his forearm and hand lay rested in... someone’s lap?

“I slept on the floor, if that’s why you’re hitting me with all that wonder, Bangs Boy.”

Following the torso up with his eyes, Tam is greeted with the sight of Keefe who, no doubt given how grumpy he looks, isn’t lying. His eyes are still looking at the book in his hands and he’s leaned back against the headboard. It’s almost like Tam isn’t even there.

Tam clears his throat, trying to remember what exactly happened last ni- oh.

Keefe turns to him- which Tam hates because not only has he realized he probably made an idiot of himself last night, but there’s zero question that he definitely has a raging bedhead. And morning breath. Oh no.

“You good, dude?” Keefe questions.

Holy shit please stop looking at me.

Tam’s embarrassment is only worsened by how awake and out together Keefe seems to be. He can feel his cheeks turning pinker.

Tam clears his throat and nods before realizing he should probably apologize or something. “Yeah- uh-“ he clears his throat again- “and I’m sorry for... uhm, last night.”

Keefe’s face doesn’t change from his blank expression and already wide eyes. He shrugs. “All good. Better you came here instead of lost your shit without anyone around to help. How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” It’s at this point that Tam is realizing he should probably either sit up or, at the very least, take his arm off of Keefe. But he doesn’t exactly have anywhere else to put it and he knows the second he sits up he’s going to get a head rush. He doesn’t move yet.

“Your fingers?”

“Huh?”

Keefe grumbles and sets his book beside him- probably on a nightstand- before gently picking Tam’s right hand up. He holds it like if he makes one wrong move the bones will shatter into a million pieces.

Tam forces himself for focus on his still purpleish-black fingers. They look like the have no blood in them, but they feel normal. He tells Keefe the former.

“That’s good.” Keefe puts Tam’s hand back down, but doesn’t let go of his fingers and it takes all of Tam’s mental strength not to stare at the way Keefe is almost holding his hand.

It takes so much mental strain, in fact, that he almost misses when Keefe starts talking again.

“Elwin said that they seemed fine. All the blood is circulating fine.” Keefe is playing with them now. “But, he’s wondering if you have any shadowflux stored in them? He said that’s probably why yiur nails turned black- you stored shadowflux in your fingers too long- or, that’s what he thinks, at least.”

Tam thinks for a moment before answering. “I don’t think so... it should’ve all gotten out the last time I did it.”

Granted, the last time he’d let the shadowflux into his hands so he could use it easier was when they were fighting over Keefe with Gisela so he’d needed a lot. Still... he was pretty sure he’s used it all up.

“You’re sure?” Keefe asks. Stupid Empaths.

“I said I think.” Tam huffs, before slowly taking his hand away from a Keefe’s and pushing himself into a seated position.

As expected, everything goes dark and he can’t see for a minute. Thankfully, the boy next to him doesn’t say anything. He can probably feel the dizziness.

“What time is it?” Tam changes the subject in hopes of forgetting about the night before.

Keefe looks to his side. “Almost 12.”

“Fuck. Linh’s probably freaking out.” He reaches into the pockets of yesterday’s pants, but they come back up empty handed.

“She knows you’re here.” Keefe chuckles before Tam can completely lose his mind. “Elwin called Tiergan just after you took the sedative, remember? And she called me not that long ago to ask how you were doing.”

Tam isn’t sure how to respond to that. “Oh.”

Keefe snorts before reaching a hand over to Tam’s hair.

Right...

“Damn, Tam-Tam. I didn’t know you had such a serious bedhead. Your bangs aren’t even in your eyes.” He’s laughing now. Like he thinks it’s funny that he can see Tam’s forehead.

Tam’s face gets hot again, but he’s already intruding enough, so instead of asking for a brush or comb he reaches up to his head and attempts to smooth down the hair.

“You’re gonna scratch your scalp off if you keep trying to brush your hair with your creepy Shade hands like that.” Keefe comments, however he makes no move to give Tam an alternative option.

Tam stays silent and is saved from having to come up with a response thanks to the door being kicked open. The sound it makes when it hits the wall is so loud he practically jumps out of his skin.

“Not that I don’t enjoy listening to you two get along for once,” Ro sounds bored, “but Elwin just made lunch and he wants to know if he should bring it up here or if you two wanna come down and eat at the table- which he won’t be at because he has to continue making Bangs Boy’s medicine.”

Tam isn’t sure what to be more shocked at- the fact that Elwin made him lunch, Ro calls him nicknames too, or that he needs medicine for... something.

“I’ll bring it up.” Keefe answers before Tam can really get a grip on everything. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and his stride is so long that he’s at the door within a minute.

Before he leaves however, he turns back to Tam. “Bathroom is two doors down and my hairbrush is by the sink, on the far left.”

And then he and Ro are gone.

(yes, i love them p l e a s e keep them coming i am l i v i n g for this)

this is. adorable ?? and also keefe just stopping his teasing bc he knows scary powers ??? y e s i love that sm

@a-lonely-tatertot

#anon #connor stop

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thedispatched · 3 years

Note

I'm not joking I literally have a YouTube video in my recommended titled, "Is WayV Lucas INNOCENT? Fan Investigation Reveals the Truth" and I swear to you I lost like 50 braincells akskskskkskz

First of all, "fan investigation" is the funniest thing I've ever heard holy shit-

Second of all, i don't read or listen to any proof debunking that comes from a fan, its just way too easy for their results to be biased and I've noticed most of the time (unless it's something very easy to prove and substantial) they don't really have a lot of proof.

And then people roll with it and I've seen so many posts asking people to "stop talking about the Lucas accusations it's all been proven false!!" and I'm like since when bitch???

Like lmao just because some fan on the internet says it's fake why you gotta just believe it? Like I know it's because its what they want to hear, nobody wants to believe he would do those things but they're really just recycling the same proof over and over again and some people are for real basically saying "this is fake because I know it is" and like ???

As far as I've seen at this particular point nobody has brought actually substantial evidence to the table that would actually prove lucas innocent, and honestly I just wish SM would do an investigation or something so I don't have to keep listening to this fan back and forth which is actually just an argument of opinions lmao.

I swear SM is just waiting until we all convince OURSELVES that he's innocent so they don't have to do any work.

Oh and before I go, I have a genuine question.. for the record I don't think everything these girls said were true, but I think there's at least some truth to what they're saying, so if Lucas was 100% innocent why didn't they just say that in the first place?? When I read Lucas's apology the first thing I though was that it was a very generic template apology that the company probably made him use to save face for a while before the heat dies down,, idk tho I haven't been paying the most attention to this, I just check in every couple of days akskwksk

Have a nice day/night! 🍋

I considered making a YouTube channel instead of this blog but I was like nope that won’t turn out well lol.

I don’t really pay attention to fan debunking’s either unless someone tells me something because like you said it’s biased but it’s also easy to lie and manipulate (but these go for both sides too).

I saw a lot of fans try to scream he’s proven innocent with the dumbest, unreliable stuff since the beginning. All their “proof” is either lies, doesn’t connect at all, or just comes out of their imagination. I really beg them to have a clear mind when looking at these things.

Don’t you love it when you ask someone for a source and they either can’t give you anything or it’s some bullshit site 🙃

Sometimes I wonder if they know it’s a losing fight but they don’t want to admit it.

I think SM is waiting for this to blow over and we just forget and move on. I think it might work for some people (that they’ll forget), but too many people are gonna hold onto this for a while.

Talking about ifans specifically, I don’t think SM knows or cares what’s going on. At least how they’re acting on twitter anyway. I feel like if they saw how they were acting, they’d release something even if it was small. I mean they allegedly hired a PI, I don’t think a company would see that and not say something after. But that’s just me.

I think I said before that I believe the girls claims were a mix of truth and lies. It’s just hard to pick out what could be true and what’s not.

Lucas’ apology had a line in it that made it seem like an admission of guilt. I agree the whole thing is very generic, but people take that one line and assume he’s an asshole. We don’t know what is true and what is not. Isn’t it just sm’s thing to just apologize for everything too, no matter what the truth is?

I’m also not paying much attention to this anymore. Everything is just opinion fired after opinion. It’s the same stuff. I’ll pay attention again when we get something real.

Have a nice/night anon 😊

0 notes

vvakarians · 3 years

Text

I need to be vulnerable for a second.

It’s been a year. I’ve made a lot of progress and am still uprooting shit I’ve been wading in for a while now. I’m growing and learning. But I’ve never gone into detail really, maybe on twitter and mentioned it a couple times but yeah. Been thinking a lot.

TW for Homophobia / Abuse

TLDR; My best friend was a shitlord and I spent ten minutes painfully sobbing about it. I’m fine lmao just needed to make a messy post.

Won’t be mentioning who they were on SM here but if mutuals who are and were friends w/ both of us want to know, hmu lmao. I sincerely hope y’all didn’t get shit on like I did

I’m so tired. I’m tired of knowing that someone I used to call my best friend literally cyberstalked me in a discord server and when I told them I wanted to have a space without them/wouldn’t be interacting with their character, they lost it.

I’ll call this person A. They were there for me through a lot but it got weird towards the end for sure. A was always clingy, always needed to be right (passed it off as an OCD thing), and always felt like they needed to be included in things I was doing. Abandonment issues due to trauma they said, still doesn’t excuse it but you know? Fine.

I identified as aro/ace for a long time bc I was severely traumatized. Someone thirst followed me and cornered me into a relationship/took my kindness for granted (Not A, not yet). A’s reaction was to assume I would never have time for them and we would drift apart, just because I had a partner. They complained about this to me and said that even if I was just their friend and QPP (we were both aro/ace) that they still felt I would abandon them. I tried to calm them down the entire time, this was October 2018. Three days later I had a severe PTSD break (unrelated trauma) and broke up with my ‘boyfriend’. A said it was the right decision and we left it at that.

Cut to me a year later having recovered a bit and realizing I had romantic feelings still. That I *wanted* to kiss and take someone out, and do heavily romantic things. During this time A and I had severe issues with D&D parties also where they would break down if they didn’t know everything and said that I couldn’t produce any part of my worlds for profit bc theh had contributed in a small way. It was a bad time. It lead to the complete disintegration of two relationships that I can...probably never get back. One of which I’m not sure I *want* back, but that’s a different story.

Basically they wanted to be the DM with half the credit despite only making npcs I could easily replace or cut out entirely. Now that I started playing again, I have.

I still was friends with them, still waveringly QPP’s with them. Though I’d often feel my skin crawl when they touched me or wanted to be in my space. This was all the time, not when I got triggered into a PTSD episode. I was annoyed when they wanted to always be in my space and have all my attention. But I felt obligated to A and had been recently traumatized again.

Even with all of this I wanted to come out as gay / mlm but still keep part of my aceness with me. Of course in feeling this, I approached A to let them know. Their response was to immediately come back with ‘we can do all of those things you want to do with a romantic partner’. Which I felt may be true for some aspecs but not me. I wanted to *be* with someone and not just...a friend. I wanted to have a boyfriend and be cheesy. I told A that it was probably true but I wanted something else. That I wanted space to think on what they had said. They came back with ‘you’re abandoning me. You just don’t like me. Everyone always leaves me’. Once again with the ‘you get a bf you’ll forget I exist’ rhetoric 🙃.

I told them that they weren’t the person I wanted to be romantic with. I was looking for someone else. I wasn’t attracted to them that way. They took that as an insult. Though to me they relented. Come to find out A got one of our mutual friends involved bc they lived in the same area. They vented and complained to them that I was going to abandon them, that I was punishing them, that they didn’t know what they did wrong. Which was behavior my parents exhibited when I was forced out as trans to them. That Inwas punishing them somehow for a misdeed or that they knew me better, they did something ‘wrong’.

The only outlet I had away from A was TikTok, we weren’t really doing D&D anymore because the party had dissolved due to their controlling habits. Every account I had was heavily monitored by A, I would vent and they would immediately pull it up and ask if I was okay. Even if I had explicitly said before that I was alright and needed some space. But TikTok was a place they barely went on. So I cosplayed more after our last visit (October 2019), and got a small following after joining a lovely d&d tag ran by one of my now closest friends. I also met my boyfriend through this tag, and several other very close friends. I made an oc that I integrated in one or two sessions of D&D before I completely stopped DMing.

Now, it gets worse. I get a following for cosplaying my oc Asariel Whately, join a server, and for a time have a pretty okay place away from A. Some breathing room. When I mentioned that Asariel (who we had talked about maybe being w/ an oc of theirs) was going to romance my now boyfriends oc in the tag, they got upset. They said that they were sad to see them with someone else, and asked if it could all be before my campaign/not actually be real. I told them no and that I’d continue doing what I wanted.

Well, after that and scouring my TikTok (i made the mistake of saying anything in the first place), they got invited to the server and started RPing/cosplaying in the tag. Which they’re allowed to do, but A has a history of wanting to be in my things and being the center of attention. When I say A got involved with *several* other characters, including a possible *minor*, that doesn’t even cover the worst of it. They got involved in a huge polyam relationship (which is fine, i’ll explain why their behavior was weird tho) that LITERALLY took up chunks of the whole server. Any time my bf and I got into chat to rp out some scene for Asariel and Fraanic, A was there to bury our scene in their own garbage. Could have been conicidence but who knows. Then the minor got added into the mix and most of us just had the server on mute/rped in DMs. It was so bad that other people noticed their bad behavior, meta gaming, and needing to be right.

Our relationship ended when someone from a private close knit server made up of all the people who wanted to remove ourselves from the toxic environment, outed our server. Said there was an nsfw server and A immediately jumped to say they wanted an invite. I panicked and DMed them for the first time in weeks to say that they couldn’t. That I needed space from them and this was the one place I had. We had a fight, they said ‘they’re my friends too’ and I pointed out that they had forced their way in, that I said I needed space. Eventually they gave up on it, thank god. But it left me wrecked for months. I didn’t create, I retreated into a two person server with my best friend who is now my boyfriend and just never looked back.

While I’m grateful that this massive upheaval gave me a new support network, got me into a good place for a romantic partnership, and allowed me to heal...I still have a lot of pain. I felt like I had been commodiefied, like an object because of how kind and soft and pliable I was. Because someone thought I was beautiful and *theirs* in the worst way. My ocs who are some of my largest coping mechanisms were tainted, I could barely play Dragon Age, couldn’t think about it. Because someone had conpletely obliterated my love for it. I hate to think they then continued to do that same thing to other people but I honestly have no clue what A is doing now. They dropped off the planet and honestly good riddance.

#i dont even know what to tag this as #personal #idk my person tags change a lot #tw homophobia #tw abuse

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mystrangerfics · 5 years

Text

Love Affairs

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Description: Anon Requested Prompt 68 “This isn’t what it looks like!”

Word Count: 4325

Complete Story Warnings: Language & Sex Mentioned

__ __

You stood outside of Tina's house as people kept going by you, entering the party. You were trying to work up the nerve to go in and also trying to figure out if it was worth it. You knew your boyfriend would most definitely be inside but you didn't know if you could face him and if you did, did you want to do it at a party that everyone from school was at?

You had told Billy that you loved him on your last date and he had stared at you with this odd face before he screamed at you to get out of his car. You had done as he said and expected him to call you when he calmed down but he didn't. He had avoided you all week and never picked you up for the party. So here you were, trying to decide if you should even bother trying to talk to him. The only thing keeping you from just giving it up was that you really did love him.

"(Y/N)?" You jumped upon hearing your name, being awakened from your thoughts and turned to see who owned the voice.

"Oh. Hi Steve," you said with a small smile and awkwardly swayed a little in your spot.

"You going in?" He asked, taking his hand from his jeans pocket to motion towards the door.

"I uh… I'm not sure yet," you confessed before sighing a little and running a hand through your hair. "Trying to get up the nerve."

Steve gave a small smile as he looked a little confused by your statement but shrugged. "You want some company?"

"Steve?" You asked suddenly, turning to fully face him now.

"Yeah," he asked with a small smile at you, seeing how distracted you seemed.

"Have you ever told someone you loved them and had them ignore you for a week?" You asked, rambling it all out.

Steve's eyebrows quirked together a little and he smiled before shaking his head. "No but I did fall for someone who was in love with somebody else."

"Oh, yeah," you said and pursed your lips a little. "I'm sorry. Stupid question."

"Nah, don't worry about it," Steve said genuinely with a shrug. "It's better this way. Who wants to be with someone that doesn't want you, you know?"

Steve's sentence sunk in and you nodded a little. "You're right. Thank you, Steve," you said with a small smile at him.

"Anytime," he told you. He stepped up onto the porch and motioned to the door. "You ready?" You nodded and sighed a little, shaking your nerves away visibly. He opened the door for you and you went in. "Good luck," Steve told you before he gave you a reassuring smile and wave before heading off towards the kitchen.

The party was in full swing at this point, being almost ten at night, people were pretty drunk. You swayed a little as you made your way through the many kids from your school. You found Carol and smiled at her but it fell when you saw how pale her face went upon seeing you.

"Hey! Have you seen Billy?" You asked over the loud music.

She kind of made a face at you before sighing a bit. She pointed her finger to the stairs. "I am not getting in this fight. I said nothing."

"Thanks, Carol," you said quietly as your heart fell into your stomach. You made your way back through the people until you got to the stairs and went up.

When you reached the top you swallowed a little, your eyes already watering. You stomped down the hallway, finally finding your nerve. You came to the door with Billy's leather jacket hanging on the knob and knew he was in there. He had done the same thing with you on multiple occasions. You ripped the jacket from the knob before you threw the door open hard enough for it to bang against something behind it.

"Who the fuck?!" Billy shouted as he rolled off a girl who screamed and covered herself. His eyes took a second to adjust to the light but when they did, you saw his face pale and his jaw go slack. "This isn't what it looks like!"

"Oh, screw you, Billy!" You shouted before throwing his jacket at him. He caught it before it hit his face and stood up, holding the blanket to his waist as he tried walking up to you. "We're done. Least I have the fucking balls to say it to your face! Have a great night!"

"Would you just wait a minute!?" Billy tried grabbing for your arm but you pulled away and went down the stairs. You quickly made your way through the party and Steve spotted you.

"Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry," he kept muttering as he quickly moved through the groups of people. "Hey," he said, just managing to make it to the door as you did. "Are you okay?" He asked, he felt stupid as you hung your head and cried. "Aw, shit," he said before sighing a little. "Come on. I'll take you home," he said before putting an arm around you and guiding you out of the house.

"You don't have to. You just got here," you reasoned and shook your head. "I can walk," you assured.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Steve said and shook his head. “I’m not making you walk home alone at night.” You reached his car and he opened the door for you, letting you get in.

He started the car and got himself out of the tight parking spot, heading in the direction of your house. “You still live over by Hopper’s?” Steve asked, forgetting the name of your road. You nodded your head weakly and sniffled, stuck in your own misery. Steve frowned a little but looked back to the road for a moment. “Do you want to grab some drinks from my parents house and go somewhere to talk?” He offered. Steve knew what type of situation you were currently in. One of your best friends was supposed to be Carol but she would not risk getting in Billy’s path because of your fight. He knew you were probably feeling pretty isolated and alone with everything happening.

You started to shake your head before you really thought about it. You knew your parents would be home and you had lied and said you were going to a friends house for the night so you could sleep with Billy and party until you wanted. If you came home early and crying, your mother would grill you and you just weren’t ready to tell her everything yet. “Sure,” you said with a small nod. “I’d like that.”

Steve gave his own nod and a small smile. “Good. Alright.”

__ __

“She took off with Harrington,” Tommy explained for the third time. “She showed up looking for you. She came in with him and when she left he was with her. I’m sure he just wanted to make sure she was alright. Take her home or some shit,” Tommy reasoned.

“Fucking prick,” Billy muttered and bitterly sipped a beer.

“I wouldn’t really call Harrington the prick in this scenario,” Tommy said. Carol hit Tommy’s arm and widened her eyes a little at him. She didn’t want her boyfriend getting into it with Billy. She knew Tommy was good at fighting but she had a feeling Billy could win.

“The fuck did you just say?” Billy asked, glaring at Tommy. He slammed his beer down on the table and squared his shoulders, drawing the attention of a few people nearby.

“Harrington isn’t a prick for bringing (Y/N) home after she found you upstairs with someone else,” Tommy said back, still staying relaxed in his position while Billy tensed up. “That’s all I’m saying. Plus, you didn’t want her anyways, obviously. Perhaps Harrington is just jumping at the chance. One man’s trash is another man's treasure, so they say,” Tommy said before sipping his beer. The look he was giving Billy showed he was taking him down a peg but he kept his tone light and his words careful.

Billy glared at Tommy before he turned and ripped his beer from the counter, heading towards the door. He slammed the door shut on his way out, leaving everyone looking at Tommy. Half of them wondered if he was crazy, while the other half approved of it. You had never been anything but good to Billy and you were a well liked person by most, no one had wanted to see you both end up together because they knew this would probably be the outcome. They were glad Tommy was brave enough to say something.

Billy got out into his Camaro and decided he would drive to your house and hope to find you. He had slept with that girl and thought it wouldn’t bother him but part way through it, he realized it felt wrong. He didn’t want this random girl under him, kissing him, he wanted you. It had been an awakening moment for Billy but before he could end it, you had come in and his whole world had fallen apart. Now you were off with Steve Harrington if you weren’t at home. Billy just focused on the road and told himself that you had gone home.

__ __

“I told him I loved him and he just yells at me!” You exclaimed and the liquid in your can sloshed about as you slung your arm. “Tells me to get out of his car and throws the damn door open like he would just push me out,” you said before shaking your head. “Like I told him I slept with someone else or something but oh no! That’s what he does! Ignores me for a week and then goes and sleeps with someone else.” You sat still for a moment before groaning and laying back onto the blanket Steve had laid out for you both to sit on. He had found you a quiet spot near your house to sit and drink. Having pulled his car off the road when he saw a little clearing.

“Maybe he was scared,” Steve offered and sipped his own drink. He knew at this point you were both a little tipsy and figured he had to be if he was trying to defend Billy. “Like, maybe no one has ever said that to him,” he elaborated as he decided to lay down beside you, thinking it looked comfier.

“Why do I pick guys that don’t like to be loved?” You asked as you looked up at the starry night sky.

“I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t like it. I just think he doesn’t know how to feel about it,” Steve suggest and glanced over to you. “He likes you. I mean that’s obvious. You’re the only girl he’s dated for longer than a night,” he reasoned.

“Well then maybe there’s something wrong with me?” You shrugged and leaned up a bit to sip your drink.

“There is nothing wrong with you,” Steve assured before he leaned up as well to sip his drink and then smiled at you. You were relatively close to Steve and after breathing him in you realized how good he smelt.

Your mind was swirling with alcohol as you looked into Steve’s brown eyes and you found yourself leaning a bit closer. Steve’s eyes flickered down to your lips and a tiny smirk played on his own. His nose bumped yours a little and suddenly you felt yourself being pulled back by the arm. You shrieked for a second before you looked up and saw Billy.

“What the hell are you doing?!” You asked as he dragged you to your feet. Steve had quickly hopped up from his spot and looked to you.

Billy was breathing heavily and pacing now, looking between you and Steve. “You didn’t let me explain!” He roared and walked towards you with his eyes dark with anger. Steve gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you behind him. “Don’t fucking touch her!”

“Billy, just calm down,” Steve tried and held his hand out. “Nothing is happening. We were just talking. You can still explain. She was just upset,” he reasoned.

“You tell me you love me and then you’re out here with him! How am I supposed to believe you?!” Billy hollered, pointing at you over Steve’s shoulder.

“Billy, I told you that I loved you and you screamed in my face and nearly threw me out of your car!” You retorted. “Then I find you sleeping with some other girl! Don’t act like you’re in any place to question me!”

“Can we just calm down!?” Steve shouted as Billy started screaming back at you. “Both of you just need to take a step back. This isn’t going to go anywhere with you both this mad! Just go home, take the night to calm down and talk this out in the morning! You’re just going to kill each other!”

“Billy won’t want to talk about it tomorrow. He’ll be sober and just act like nothing matters and he has no feelings.” You were responding to Steve but your eyes glared into Billy’s dangerously dark ones.

Billy paused his pacing and locked eyes with you, making Steve nervous as he seemed to square up almost. “You don’t think I have feelings!?” Billy roared and Steve felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“You don’t listen! I said, ‘you act like you have no feelings’,” you said with a sigh and looked down.

“Why would I be here if I didn’t care?!” He asked you and you glanced up to him, your madness fading a little as your eyes watered from all the yelling and stirring emotions. Billy started stalking towards you and you held your ground, keeping your head up, as Billy stepped around Steve. He grabbed your shoulders tightly and shook you a little. “How can you be so blind!?”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Billy?!” You hollered and shoved him back a little from you, breaking his grip on your arms. Steve stood close behind you, scared this would become too heated. He knew you were both drunk, very hurt and obviously upset. This was not a good time for you to both be trying to work out your problems. “I’m blind?!” You shoved him back again when he tried grabbing for you, only for him to grab your wrists and hold them down from shoving him.

“Don’t you see I fucking love you, you damn brat!? You always have to have it your way! Right now! You never give me time to figure out anything! You want an answer at the drop of a hat! I don’t work that way! I need fucking time!” He snapped at you, leaving you stunned and Steve’s eyes were also widened behind you.

“But you go and sleep with someone else,” you whimpered as your voice broke and Billy’s grip on your wrists weakened a little as his head slipped down. “Not enough to break my heart but you have to stomp on it too?”

“I’m not doing this here,” Billy said after he looked up and saw Steve trying to awkwardly stare off at the sky.

“You need to do this! We need to do this!” You hollered and stomped your foot. “You don’t get to just walk away and dream up some bullshit!”

“What I was just talking about! It’s always right now with you! I am too drunk to do this! I cannot say what I’m feeling without fucking this up! Cut me some goddamn slack!” He hollered back as he got in your face and Steve saw it, he knew you two were destined to work everything out or screw it all up in a huge explosion of anger, because you didn’t even flinch. You stared into Billy’s face unphased as he violently motioned beside your head.

“Well fine, you can tell your side later but I’m not too drunk to tell you what I’m feeling,” you muttered and Billy licked his bottom lip and leaned back from you a little, watching you carefully.

“(Y/N),” Steve warned and rested a hand on your arm. “You are tired and angry. Do not do this,” he whispered quietly to you, drawing your eyes away from Billy. You looked into Steve’s brown eyes and saw his sincerity. He shook his head softly, warning you not to do it and your face crumbled before you hung your head and whimpered. Steve quietly shushed you before he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “I’ll take her home,” Steve quietly told Billy as you kept your head down and cried as you walked with Steve.

Billy nodded and turned to watch you both disappearing into the darkness, heading back towards the road where Steve was parked. “Fuck!” Billy hollered before he bent down and picked a beer up from the ground, throwing it against a nearby tree and splitting the can that sprayed foam. He dropped down onto the discarded blanket and wrapped his arms around his knees, shaking his head at himself. “Fucking idiot.”

__ __

You woke up with your head throbbing as there was a knocking sound echoing through your house. “What the fuck?” You grumbled hazily as you rolled over in your bed. “What the fuck?!” You said more aware now as you saw Steve standing shirtless beside your bed.

He held his hand out and tried to calm you. “Nothing happened! Nothing happened! We just fell asleep! You didn’t want to be alone!”

“(Y/N)?” You heard Billy’s voice from down the hall and sat up quickly in your bed, looking to Steve in a panic. Your bedroom door swung open and Billy looked to you holding the blankets up to your chest while Steve stood by your bed, his shirt in hand.

“Billy, this isn’t what it looks like!” You said quickly and when he turned to go back down the hall you jumped out of your bed and followed him. “Please, stop! Let me explain!” You begged and grabbed onto his arm.

Billy grabbed you by your waist and threw you up over his shoulder, going for the door. “Put me down!” You argued as Billy brought you outside to his car and put you in the passenger seat. You quickly glanced around the driveway to see that your parents must have left for work because both of their cars were missing. You saw Steve in the doorway of your house, looking at you in a concerned way.

“Billy?” You asked quietly as he got into the car and slammed it into reverse, spitting gravel as he flung out of your driveway. You yelped a little from the jump of the vehicle and held on as he quickly shifted it into drive. “Billy? Where are we going?”

Billy was glaring forward and you felt your throat grow dry as he didn’t answer you. You rubbed your eyes a little, having just woken up and pulled your legs up into your seat, hugging them. You normally weren’t nervous about Billy’s temper. Yes he screamed and hollered and sometimes threw things but he had never hurt you. You just were worried this would be Billy’s breaking point, the end of his patience with you.

He pulled down a dirt road and when it got heavily wooded he stopped and got out of the car, slamming his door shut. “Billy, I’m sorry,” you whimpered when he ripped open your door and grabbed your arm. You only got out when you realized his grip wasn’t painful and he lead you to the front of the car before he grabbed your hips and put you on his hood. He then placed a hand on either side of you and put his face in yours.

“Talk,” Billy said, looking at you as he seemed to sigh out through his nose, trying to calm down.

“Nothing happened between me and Steve, Billy. I swear to God,” you said with a frown. Your memory had come back to you in the car and you remembered asking Steve to stay but nothing else had happened.

“You promise me? Do you fucking swear?” Billy asked and his anger got the better of him for a second and he lifted his hand and smashed it down on the hood. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He said when you flinched a little. “Please don’t flinch, baby. I’m not going to hurt you,” he said and you saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“I promise, Billy. I swear,” you whimpered. You sniffled softly as your eyes watered up and you hung your head a little. No longer being intoxicated didn’t make you as resistant to Billy. You didn’t want to say hurtful things and fight him. You just wished you could forget about finding him with another girl but you couldn’t.

“You-” Billy paused and looked down. His flat hands balling into fists by your sides as he still leaned on the car. “You scared me,” he said quietly and continued to look down, not meeting your gaze. “You can’t just drop something like loving me out of nowhere. It-,” he stopped and sighed a little. “It made me freak out,” he said before looking up at you.

You frowned and kept your gaze down as you could feel his eyes studying your face. “I’m sorry, Billy.”

“See, you shouldn’t have to be sorry! What the fuck is so wrong with me that you telling me that you love me makes me act like this?!” He said bitterly but he seemed to be directing it at himself. “Why can’t I love you like I’m supposed to?” He nearly whimpered before turning away from you a little, taking a few steps off the path and staring off into the trees. “It took me sleeping with someone else and fucking all this up to realize that I do.”

You slowly slipped off of his hood and came up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head against his back. “I love you, Billy,” you whispered quietly. You felt his body tense and it felt like he was trying to get away from your sweet words and hold for a moment until he relaxed.

“I love you too,” he said so quietly it was barely heard. You felt his hand come up and rest on top of yours that were clasped in front of him. “I just need you to give me some time,” he said before turning his head a little, looking back over his shoulder at you. “Can you do that?”

You nodded softly and snuggled your face against the back of his shoulder. “Whatever you need, babe.” You kept close to Billy until he slowly turned and rested an arm on your waist and looked into your eyes. You softly tilted your head, inquiring on his stare.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you,” Billy confessed and shook his head a little as he looked down. You gently reached your hands up to rest on his neck and feel his warm skin. “Sleeping with that girl was stupid,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry I got so mad and that I was so hateful last night,” you told him and he looked at you again. “I also have to confess, I think I asked Steve to stay the night to get back at you,” you admitted with a frown. “Nothing happened but I did it to hurt you and that was wrong.”

“You were drunk,” Billy conceded with a small sigh. “Plus you were upset. It’s okay,” he said quietly. There was a pause between you both for a moment before Billy leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

“Do you still think I’m a brat?” You dared to tease with a small smile when Billy broke the kiss, his forehead gently resting on yours.

He smiled and pulled back a bit, shaking his head at you. “Yes, you’re always going to be a brat. My brat,” he told you with a sweet smile before placing another kiss on your lips. “Come on. I’ll take you home,” Billy said after a few moments of peace with you. “I’m sure Harrington has already called the police.”

“I’m sure he’s sitting at home on my step, waiting for you to bring me back,” you admitted with a small laugh. “Poor Steve. He always gets dragged into everything.”

Billy nodded his response as you both got into his car and he backed down the path towards the road. He had his arm thrown over the back of your seat so he could look over his shoulder as he went and you watched him. You couldn’t help but take in his beautiful blue eyes as they glanced around, the tone muscles of his chest as he leaned himself back and the way his soft curls fell against his skin.

“What?” Billy finally asked when he got to the road and had turned back in his seat, seeing your stare.

You shook your head a little and looked down with a small blush. “Nothing,” you said with a small shrug.

Billy gave you a small smile as he glanced over to you in his passenger seat. “I love you too,” he said, responding to the thought weighing on your mind. You lifted your head a bit and smiled at him before you leaned over and rested your hand on his thigh and your head on his arm. You felt him place a soft kiss in your hair and your smile grew. “Brat,” you heard Billy whispered and you playfully shoved his arm, making him laugh quietly before you pressed a kiss to his mouth.

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Tag List: @jasonscotttrash @shieldmaiden25 @buckysjuicyplums @hargrovesprincess

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #prompt request #writing prompt #fic prompt #my stranger fics #mystrangerfics #stranger things fic #Billy Hargrove #steve harrington

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jawnjendes · 4 years

Text

bonus: why is their luck in a deeply sad moment? | shawn mendes

some type of au idk man, shawn x goth ex gf

WARNING: there is talk of death and suicide in this chapter. read at your own risk.

AN: i cant squeeze this into the next big fic nor can i fit it into shawn meets bc everyone hated it so its a bonus in the gg story lmao also im starying the Next Big Fic in a few days :)

masterlist | annalise’s playlist

2026.

"Sometimes I think about the what ifs," Ann said, “but I like where I am. I like what I’ve made for myself.”

Shawn had to invite her over to his house a second time, because the first time left him with many questions unanswered. He couldn’t be mad at what she said, though. He was in the same boat; he liked the life he made. You know, without the crushing loss and run in with the supernatural.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” he told her, and he really meant it. “I’m glad we were able to successfully do our own things straight after breaking up.”

“Nothing like filling the void in your heart with work!” Ann replied with a giggle. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear, and that’s when Shawn noticed something.

He took her hand and noticed a tattoo on the side of her middle finger: The Triforce.

“You got inked?” he asked, impressed.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” she replied, grabbing her sleeve to roll it up.

There was a sword on her inner arm. It was varying in shades of blue, and it also had the Triforce on it. Shawn recognized it as the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda games.

“All this is is proof that I’m a nerd,” Ann said as she rolled her sleeve back down. “I notice you have some more ink also… and that you still wear shirts half buttoned.” She pointed to his chest.

Her finger poked the exposed skin. It shouldn’t have been as tingly as it was. Shawn smiled and placed his hand over his chest.

“More than just that,” he told her. “But I can’t show you all of them.”

Maybe it was a little risky to say that. Shawn would have taken it back if Ann’s cheeks hadn’t gone a shade of pink.

“I could say the same thing…”

Shawn quickly came to learn just how many tattoos Ann had gotten over the years. A snake and tombstones on her other arm. Feather on her collarbone, roses on her shoulder. A quote reading, “...but I’m not anymore” with stars around it on her ribcage. Something on her wrist that Shawn didn’t catch because he was busy pressing his lips to her hips and taking off her pants, where he found another tattoo. “Lucky you.” He certainly felt it.

Everything about their time together was so familiar, so easy and almost home-like. Ann’s skin touching his. Her lips perfectly molding over his. The quiet, needy gasps they both released into the bedroom. It was like going back in time, and they were in Shawn’s Toronto apartment instead of his multimillion dollar condo in LA. It was soft and slow, despite Shawn pinning Ann’s arms above her head. He didn’t outgrow that particular move, and she still seemed to like it.

Shawn had never been happier to have been on a break more than now. Most one night stands in the past began and ended very quickly, because he was on tour or in between interviews or on a break for one day. This was one person that he didn’t want to leave behind. They lied down, sweaty and dazed, facing each other. It was silent, but not awkward. Everything had a nice haze around it.

That was also when Shawn finally made out what the tattoo on Ann’s wrist was. He picked his head up in confusion.

“Is… are those torches?” he asked. “Upside down? Just like mine… and are those my initials?”

It was simple line art, less intricate than his own. Torches in an X, with “SM” right below them. Shawn has been floored many times, and this was no exception.

Ann picked her head up as well. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Shawn looked down at his chest, his torches were exactly the same, sans the initials. He wanted to give Ann the benefit of the doubt, that this wasn’t some creepy fangirl thing. Some of his one night stands ended up like that, and it wasn’t exactly easy to forget.

“It’s for a friend of mine,” Ann explained, sitting up and covering her front with the blanket. She took note of the look on Shawn’s face. “Keeping someone’s light on beyond death, remember? I assume yours is for someone too.”

They were both sitting up now, and Shawn relaxed. However, he only relaxed a little bit because now it was time to get deep.

“Mine’s for Brian. He died last year.”

Ann’s face fell. “No. Brian, your best friend? Brian, the one who constantly took the piss outta me?”

He nodded. “He was… there was an accident. Flight of stairs. Instantly killed.” It was all lies, but no human would understand.

A hand went over his, squeezing. “I’m so sorry. He just, he just fell down some stairs?”

“A lot of stairs. I don’t know I guess he was running or something. There was no way to save him. People in the house heard the crash, but by the time they found him - when I found him - it was too late.” He had told this version many times, enough times to where he could almost believe it himself.

“Fuck, man. That’s… that’s fucking terrible,” Ann said sympathetically. “But I seriously can’t believe you just told me that.”

“Why?”

“Because now I have to tell you that mine is for Stella. Those are her initials.”

Stella Martinez. Now Shawn felt a little stupid… but surprised, and he was met with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t believe it for a second, but it fully processed in his head, and his heart began to break.

“Stella from college? Stella, who was your literal opposite and also your best friend?”

Ann solemnly nodded. Then she looked down. “She… she killed herself.”

Shawn was stunned into silence, the tightness in his chest only intensifying. The entire time he knew Stella, she was always so positive and bubbly. She was the opposite of suicidal. That’s why it was such a shock… and so sad. Oh god, who was going to tell Camila?

“When did Brian go to the other side?” Ann asked after a moment.

“A year ago last month,” Shawn replied. “And Stella?”

Ann raised an eyebrow. “Two years ago last month...”

It was a strange coincidence, but still upsetting. Both Shawn and Ann lost their best friends at the same time of the year. The urge to spill everything was thick in the air. Still, neither of them said anything for a while.

Instead, Ann reached down to the floor to pick up her clothes. Shawn’s eyes were stuck on her and that was when he spotted another word on her back. Nightmare. Small font, right shoulder blade, surrounded by a cluster of skulls. Then, he realized what she was doing.

“Are you leaving?”

She looked up, bra in hand. She was quiet as she put it back on.

“No. No, I’m not going anywhere.”

And she crawled back into bed. She made the point to keep a distance from Shawn, who was still naked. He was on his side, looking at the woman before him. Only Ann could have sex with him and bring up the subject of death. That brought a new point to mind.

“How do you enjoy death?” he asked. “I think I’ve asked you this before, but after losing someone and attending their funeral, I’m having a hard time understanding your perspective.”

Ann took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t enjoy the act of dying. People die every day in horrible ways. People mourn and fall into depression because of death. That’s not something to enjoy.”

“So what’s your deal with it?”

“I’m just embracing the face that it’s inevitable. I do that for myself. I will die eventually, or tomorrow-”

Shawn made a face; he didn’t like that thought.

“It doesn’t make it any easier when someone I know goes,” Ann continued. “You’d think with all the research I’ve done it would be. The ones we love leave this mortal plane, and all they leave is their absence. And that alone is a lot to process.”

“What’s the hardest part?”

“The what if’s.”

Shawn asked because he really wanted to know more about what happened to Stella. He had to know the things that led up to the tragedy, mostly because he knew Camila would ask for details, even if they were hard to hear.

He figured he should spill his side first.

“The last thing I said to Brian was to get the hell out of my room,” he began. “We were fighting, fighting over something so fucking stupid, and I was so pissed at him. That was our last interaction. He fell down the stairs because he was trying to find me in this big huge mansion…”

Ann sat up a little bit, hand over her chest. “Here?”

“Oh no, not here. I was staying at a friend’s house in London for a work thing. Place was huge, easy to get lost in,” Shawn clarified. “Brian, Andrew, all of them were leaving back to Toronto and I didn’t want to go just yet. Part of it was because I was still pissed. Maybe if I had run into him first before he fell… If I hadn’t kicked him out of my room a few nights prior… If I was less of an asshole…”

“Maybe you would have slipped on the stairs,” Ann told him. “Maybe you guys would have had an even bigger argument later that would have ended your friendship. There’s no way to tell, and sometimes that’s what sucks the most.”

Huh. Most people tell him not to dwell on it. No wonder Ann was a shrink now.

“Losing someone is one of the hardest things we, as humans, have to face,” she said. “It’s not easy in the slightest. Besides, the grieving period takes about three to five years, so you - we - are still in the beginning stages of it. Thinking about the what ifs, what you want to change, what you wish you could say to Brian - all of that is normal.”

The two of them let those words settle for a moment. Shawn’s eyes were a little misty, and redirecting the topic was probably not going to help. But he laid his stuff out on the table.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Your what ifs?”

Ann paused, looking around the room. “What if I had put my Master’s to use and noticed the goddamn signs?”

Shawn watched her, hoping she would at least return the eye contact.

“I’m an expert in this shit,” she said. “I have the years of school, the degrees, and the licenses for detecting things like this. I only figured it out the moment her dad called me.”

“How do you detect when someone is suicidal?”

“In her case, she was elated. When someone makes that decision, they reach a state of euphoria because they know their pain is about to end.”

“But Stella was always-”

“Believe me, I know. I hadn’t talked to her since graduating in Toronto, so I thought she hadn’t changed at all. But I would see on her social media, she just moved back to her parents’ house in Florida, and she hinted that she wasn’t happy about it.”

As if Shawn couldn’t take another blow. Come to think of it, he never heard much about Stella’s home life. He didn’t even think that it could be a negative place for her.

“I was in Jacksonville for work,” Ann continued, “so I hit her up, and we met up for lunch. We talked for about an hour, and she said that I was always a good friend and college wife and that she’ll always love me. And my stone hearted ass just said ‘cool, you don’t suck’ and that was that. A month later, she’s as blue as the pills she took.”

“Ooo…” Shawn sighed, cringing at that mental image. Sweet, warm hearted Stella cold and lifeless. Call it morbid, awful thinking, but Shawn wished Brian looked like that in death instead of the bloody mess he turned out to be.

“Yeah. And her parents had her embalmed and put in an airtight casket, but that’s a whole other rant.” Ann waved it off and lied back down.

Shawn didn’t know what else to do except lie down as well. While sharing the stories of how their friends died, he couldn’t help but feel just a little bit closer to Ann. The first time they met, it took fighting tooth and nail to get her to open up. Now, Shawn felt okay silently reached for her hand, and tenderly holding it in his.

Both of them winded up at the same awards show. Both lost their best friends. Both got the same type of tattoo to honor them. Neither of them anticipated meeting again. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @calyumthomas @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss @peruvian-bae @theprivatewritings

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x oc #shawn x goth gf #if yall r pissedt abt brian #it had already been establishedt #i made my bed imma fukin lie in it

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ultraclops · 4 years

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Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

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footballfangurl · 5 years

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James Rodríguez - You’re My Light

Request: Can you write an imagine of James Rodriguez where he wins an award from FIFA and he dedicates his award to his wife and their children?

words: 1679

Hi guys. So it has been a while since I’ve written anything but here you go. My first one-shot in probably about 4 months. Sorry to keep you waiting this long. This is my first James Rodríguez one-shot so please let me know what you think x

I also want to thank @tumpaasaye for her support during these past few months and for giving feedback on this one-shot.

Enjoy 💕

"Baby, relax." She whispered silently, afraid of talking too loudly and interrupting the ceremony that was going on currently, but also wanting to comfort her husband who she could see was clearly freaking out from where he sat next to her. Placing her hand on his thigh soothingly, she squeezed softly in reassurance and smiled when James took her hand off his thigh and instead held it in his own, interlocking their fingers tightly. He was squeezing her hand rather tightly out of nervousness and it hurt a bit, but she didn't say anything, preferring this to the nervous leg shaking he had been doing previously.

"If I win and I have to go up there, I'm going to start st-stuttering and embarrass myself and everybody will laugh." He whispered to her with a frightened look in his eyes and she frowned, firmly shaking her head before leaning in so he could hear her better. She softly placed her hand on his cheek and made him look at her so that her point would come across more clearly.

"You listen to me, James. Nobody is going to laugh at you for stuttering. You can't help it so you shouldn't worry about it. And if anybody laughs, they'll have me to deal with. If you get too nervous, just look at me. Don't look at anybody else, okay? Just look at me." James nodded shakily, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm himself, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close to her to assure both him and herself that everything would be okay.

And James and she only had to wait for a few more minutes before the next award was announced. They played a video of the nominees and she grinned when she saw the images of her husband playing around with a football and scoring for Bayern. He had really grown into his own at the German club and he was happier there than he was back at Madrid. And although he did miss his teammates back in Madrid and it had been hard to adjust to life in Germany, she didn't think that he wanted to move back to Madrid if he had the option of staying.

When James' name was called, the smile on her face couldn't be wider. She was so proud of her husband and all that he had achieved. She started clapping, standing up in excitement and laughing out loud when James pulled her in a tight hug and lifted her up for a brief moment. To everyone else it seemed like he had all the confidence in the world but she knew that his heart was still beating very fast because of the nerves he had, not looking forward to having to address an entire hall of footballers, a lot of whom he had looked up to as a kid.

"Remember, if you get nervous, just look at me." She whispered in his ear and after he put her back down on the ground, she rewarded him with a soft kiss on the lips before gently pushing him away and towards the stage. He walked over there slowly, receiving some claps on the back from teammates -both current and former ones.

"Oh, wow. This- this is amazing." James started when he finally arrived at the stage, taking the award from the presenter and looking at it in amazement and disbelief. He glanced upwards shyly and quickly averted his gaze again when he saw all the familiar faces looking up at him. He didn't know everyone personally, of course, but he had played against most of them already and the ones he hadn't played against, he had either met at events like these or some campaign they had to do for a sports brand.

"I uh- I want to thank my amazing wife for this. If- if it - if it wasn't for her dragging me out of my- of my bed every morning and her endless patience, I wouldn't be here. D- darling, I- I- I love you and I appreciate you, al-always." James said, looking right at where she was standing in the crowd like she had told him to do. She smiled back gently and encouragingly, and he nodded, taking a big breath before continuing. "I'm- I'm- I'm also dedicating this aw-award to our children, who- who couldn't be here tonight but who are always my- my biggest critics. They- they are the reason I do this, and I could never have achieved something like this without my- my family." Her heart swelled with happiness and pride at his speech, but she had to hold back a frown when James glanced somewhere else and saw something that completely turned his mood around. Suddenly he looked even more unsure than before and she stood up a little bit from her chair, taking care to do it subtly so that it wasn't noticeable, trying to catch whatever it had been that had taken his fragile self-confidence away from him.

What she saw made her fume with rage. How dare he? Did he think it was fun to laugh at her husband for something he couldn't help? He knew all too well that this happened to James whenever he got nervous and felt uncomfortable and he had absolutely no right to make fun of James like this. Ooooh, just wait until she got her hands on him, she'd strangle the living-

"So- so- so, th-thanks ag-again for this aw- aw- award." James stuttered before quickly walking back off stage and towards where his wife sat boiling with rage.

"Sorry, baby. I couldn't do it." James quietly said, sitting down and casting his eyes downwards after having picked up on her mood. He was fiddling with his trophy and her eyes softened at seeing him so down.

"What on earth are you talking about, James. You did amazing." She assured him, placing her hand on top of his in reassurance. Gently taking the trophy out of his grasp, she placed it to the side before moving closer to him and softly leaning her head on his shoulder, taking his hand in hers to play with his fingers. They took care to whisper, not wanting to bother any of the people around them and not wanting any of them to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Th-then why are you upset?"

She nodded in the general direction of Cristiano Ronaldo and James' eyes widened in realisation. He began to shake his head, trying to convince her that it didn't matter to him. She was quite protective of him when it came down to his stutter and he knew that if he let her think that it still bothered him that Cris was laughing when he began stuttering, she'd go up to his former teammate and pick a fight with him.

"Listen, honey, that's just- just Cris. He didn't mean anything by it."

"James, Ronaldo or no Ronaldo, I don't give a shit. I'm going to stand up for my husband."

"Baby, p-please calm down. It's not a big deal, alright?" James murmured, twisting his hand around in her grasp to interlock their fingers so that, after the award show was finished, she wouldn't be able to escape him quickly like she surely was planning on doing. His wife could be very quick and agile when she wanted to be, even on the high heels she was wearing now. James never could understand why she wore those death traps. If he was a woman, he'd pick comfort over looks any time.

"Fuck no, I'm not going to calm down. This was your moment and he thinks that it's okay to just do this to you? No. I'm not having it. I'm going over there to give him a piece of my mind. Just because he's won the freaking ballon d'or a couple of times doesn't mean that he can do whatever the fuck he wants."

James was hesitant to reply, noticing that people were starting to turn around to look but he shifted his body more towards her and said, "baby, look at me".

She picked up her head, still frowning in annoyance at what Cristiano had done but also giving James her full attention. He untangled his fingers from hers and put his thumb on her brow, smoothing out the wrinkles that were there whenever she frowned.

"Smile, please. For me. I love it when you sm-smile." He whispered, sighing a bit when she shook her head stubbornly. James had to suppress a smile and instead bent his head forwards, putting his lips to her ear and whispering, "Just forget about it, b-baby. It's not worth it. That's just Cris, he teases me sometimes about it. No harm d-done. Please don't do anything about it."

James looked her in the eyes imploringly, the corner of his lips twitching upwards when he saw her pout angrily.

"Please," James said again, his lips brushing softly over hers in a feather-light kiss, "for me?"

She huffed, rolling her eyes but nodding her head, leaning forward to press her lips more firmly against lips. The kiss lasted only a second before she pulled away.

"Fine. But just this once, and only because you asked so nicely. Next time he does it, I'm going to go and give him a piece of my mind." His wife warned him, and James grinned, nodding his head in agreement.

He pecked her lips once more before taking her hand in his again, intertwining their fingers and shifting in his chair so he was facing the stage again. He lifted their hands upwards, pressing another kiss to her hand and whispering, "Thank you, baby", before he tried to pay attention to the ceremony again. And as they walked out of the room later that night, he pretended not to notice when she bumped into Cristiano on purpose and didn't apologise and instead walked ahead, pulling her along by her hand to hide the fact that he was smiling.

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