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wren-kitchens · 5 months

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the sky is my thoughts (and we are so small)

he glares at the midnight sky—littered with stars and swirls of colour he never even knew existed up there until an hour ago—like it’s the sky’s fault joel is on the roof in the first place. it’d be easier to have someone to blame for everything he’s feeling right now, to be entirely honest. which is to say that everything he’s feeling right now is annoying and if he had someone to blame, he could make them stop it.

but it’s no one’s fault, which is stupid.

it’s not the sky’s fault that joel couldn’t sleep, unable to bear the weight of jimmy and grian’s presence in his otherwise desolate life; it’s not the stars that made him pad softly in his socks along the wooden corridor towards the attic; the crisp midnight air didn’t force him to climb the ladder that lead onto the roof. that’s all on him. it’s dumb.

i’ve been procrastinating on uploading my full fics here for a while now so I thought I may as well get started HJFDH

if you like, please also reblog!

“this is dumb.”

joel can’t think of anything better to say. this whole idea is extremely, profoundly, irrefutably dumb, and he honestly should just go back to bed. he doesn’t know why he even came up with it in the first place, it’s so stupid.

but it’s no one’s fault, which is stupid.

“I don’t know why i’m even doing this.” joel mutters. “you’re just- giant rocks that are on fire. you can’t hear.”

the stupid, dumb stars don’t respond. of course they don’t, that’d be- well, stupid. joel needs more words to describe stupid stuff. there’s a lot of stupid stuff right now.

“bet you smell.” joel tacks on grumpily. “stupid smelly stars. on fire. fire sucks.”

joel pulls his blanket tighter around his shoulders, burying as much of his face as he can along with it to protect against the chill. he can’t remember where he got the idea of talking to the stars from. probably some text post or weird inspirational meme thingy. not his own brain, of course, talking to stars is dumb and silly. joel isn’t dumb orsilly.

he wonders if he could sleep out here. it’s not all that cold, and he has a blanket and cushions anyway.

sleeping under the stars to avoid the crushing loneliness he feels when he sees jimmy and grian being so happy together. he’s living the dream over here.

joel huffs in annoyance. “it’s all just- it’s so dumb. I thought I had loads of friends! i’m so cool, and sexy and tall, y’know, it was inevitable.” he preens.

there’s a pause, and joel deflates slightly. “I don’t think I actually have any friends. just.. people I know. which is stupid, because i’m so cool.” he doesn’t feel like he’s convincing anyone with that.

“is it my fault?” joel asks, slightly rougher. “did I- was it me that-“ joel can’t quite finish that sentence. he sighs. “I don’t know. maybe.”

the stars don’t say anything. joel finds he’s starting to appreciate it.

“I don’t know why i’m even-“ he sighs again. “this is stupid. I just.. I don’t know. it’s easier like this, maybe. i’m not.. used to people.”

“I.. d’you think they like me?” joel says. “it’s scary. i’m- I didn’t think that would be a possibility. I don’t- I didn’t plan for it to be a possibility.”

“I thought, y’know. just be myself, they’ll fuck right off.” he fiddles with his blanket. “but, um. they didn’t. I don’t know.. why they didn’t. or what to do right now.”

the stars twinkle down at him, almost as if they were smiling. that’s dumb. stars don’t smile.

“it’s.” joel glances down. “I like them. but, I mean, i’ve liked a lot of people. doesn’t mean they don’t leave, y’know.”

“I don’t want them to leave.” joel murmurs. “i’ve known a lot of people and.. I really don’t want to lose them. they mean a lot to me.”

joel looks back up at the stars. they really are quite beautiful, huh. maybe he was a little hasty to call them dumb, now he thinks about it.

he shifts, leaning against the slope of the roof, on top of his cushions. he really likes it here, actually—the galaxy above him, the dark forest surrounding him, the mountains backdropping it all. definitely not the worst place to sleep, by any means.

“was there a sleepover I wasn’t invited to?”

joel starts, and looks up to see jimmy, holding his own blanket and an armful of pillows.

“hey.” joel says. “sorry, I-“

“you don’t have to apologise.” jimmy says. “can- I mean, do you mind if I stay?”

joel’s first instinct is to say yes, to send jimmy back downstairs, to stay safe in his loneliness. but he finds, as he opens his mouth to do just that..

.. he doesn’t really want jimmy to go.

“I don’t mind.” joel says with a halfhearted shrug. it’s so stupid. he’s gotten attached already? after so long on his own? okay, sure, it’s jimmy, but still.

it’s hard to tell in the low light, but joel thinks he sees jimmy smile. “can I sit next to you?”

joel nods, and jimmy settles down on the floor. he’s close—close enough that, if joel wanted to, he could lean on jimmy’s shoulder, or bury himself in the golden plumage of his wing. he doesn’t want to, obviously. that’d be embarrassing. of course he doesn’t.

“are you alright?” jimmy asks, pulling joel out of his thoughts.

“yeah.” joel says automatically. “i’m fine, why?”

jimmy shrugs, looking like he doesn’t really believe him. “well, you’re out here at like, two in the morning, on your own.”

“it’s..” joel trails off. how does he explain this without sounding either stupid or rude?

“what’re you doing anyway?” jimmy asks.

joel sighs. “something dumb.”

jimmy smiles, ever so slightly. “you say that about a lot of things.”

“you’ll laugh.” joel says. “I would.”

“have you met me before now?” jimmy says, amused. “have you heard of anything i’ve done, ever?”

joel snorts. “yeah, well. that’s different.”

“why?” jimmy presses.

“‘cause- I mean, you don’t care.” joel says. “no one cares. ‘cause it’s you.”

“well, I don’t care.” jimmy says. “because it’s you.”

and that..

that’s a lot.

“besides, i’ve done a lot worse.” jimmy continues, like he hasn’t just made joel reevaluate everything he’s ever thought about himself. “I- well, you don’t even know the half of it.” he chuckles. “y’know, I-“

jimmy stops mid sentence as joel shuffles closer and drops his head to rest on jimmy’s shoulder.

“hi.” jimmy smiles.

“i’m- it’s not-“ joel says, immediately trying to come up with some kind of defence.

“oh- dude, let yourself enjoy something.” jimmy says, half exasperated, half fond. “I may be dumb, but i’m not stupid.” he grins.

“you’re not dumb.” joel says. he pauses, considering. “you’re smelly though.”

jimmy snorts, and a smile begins to worm its way onto joel’s face in response. it’d be scary, if it didn’t feel so nice.

“i’ll take that as a compliment.” jimmy says, putting his arm around joel. he gives into it immediately, without so much as a second thought. jimmy huffs.

“what?” joel says.

“you are a silly, silly man.” jimmy tells him.

“what did I do!” joel squawks.

“you are so incredibly touchstarved!” jimmy laughs.

“i am not.” joel folds his arms. “that’s stupid.”

“oh yeah?” jimmy says, and joel doesn’t have time to wonder what that means before jimmy is scratching gently at the base of his ears, and all intelligent thought leaves his mind.

joel melts, leaning closer and closer into the touch, chasing that wonderful sensation, his insides replaced by sunbeams. he’s distantly aware of how embarrassing this is, how he can probably never show his face again after, but right now it’s just background noise.

that is until jimmy moves his hand away.

joel lets out a whine of protest before he can stop himself, and immediately claps his hand over his mouth. jimmy has that ‘I told you so’ look on his face, accompanied by something unbearably fond. joel is going to jump off this roof.

“not touchstarved, huh?” jimmy teases.

joel huffs. “it’s embarrassing.”

“no, it’s not.”

joel is taken aback by the sincerity in jimmy’s voice, and he looks up.

“it’s not.” jimmy repeats, slightly quieter. “you- I mean, you’re allowed to have emotions, dude.” he scoffs.

joel rolls his eyes. “I know that-“

“do you?” jimmy says.

that pulls joel up short. “do- what?”

“do you know that?” jimmy says. “‘cause- and I mean, in the best way possible but it doesn’t look like you do.”

“what d’you mean?” joel says warily, because this is starting to get into Deep Stuff territory, and that’s a place joel is very unfamiliar with.

“I- well, um.” jimmy grins nervously. “I won’t pretend I didn’t.. hear some of what you said earlier-”

joel is definitely, 100% set on the whole jumping-off-the-roof plan. “that- if you could- if you could pretend that didn’t happen, ever, that’d be brilliant.“

“if you want me to.” jimmy says, and he’s so genuine yet casual about it that it makes joel’s head spin. he’d just do it, no questions asked, if joel wanted. “but,”

jimmy pauses, and joel realises it’s to give him time to say no. he doesn’t, so jimmy keeps going.

“but.. we’re not gonna leave you.” jimmy says, voice all soft suddenly. something inside joel aches. “as embarrassing as it is, we like you too.” he jokes fondly. “i don’t want to leave you.”

and joel-

it’s so stupid. seriously, he’s not even going to say it, it’s that stupid.

fine. but don’t laugh. or judge him, or anything like that. he can’t blame you if you do though, because he would.

joel cries.

and it’s dumb, and so stupid, and he wants to hate himself for it, but jimmy just holds him close and strokes his hair, and it’s- it might be alright. because jimmy cares about him, and not the stupid stuff he thinks and does, and he cares enough to sit on a roof in the middle of the night and hold him in the cold as he cries into a blanket.

and, fuck. that’s enough.

“thank you.” joel mumbles in between hiccupy sobs.

“you mean so much to me, joel.” jimmy whispers, and he’s crying too, and joel could laugh. sap. “I don’t think i say that enough.”

“if you- if you say it more, I might just break down every other time.” joel jokes, and jimmy pokes him.

“you’re an idiot, y’know that?” jimmy sniffs.

“i’ve been made aware.” joel says.

“woah, am I missing a cry session?” comes grian’s voice, and jimmy yelps, entirely disrupting the mood.

“I thought you were asleep!” jimmy says. “I would have brought you otherwise.”

“you’re not exactly quiet, tim.” grian grins. “is this a good cry, or a bad cry?”

“good.” joel says, smiling. “it’s-“

“if you say ‘stupid’ one more time-” jimmy starts, fond yet exasperated.

“I was going to say ‘it’s thanks to jimmy’, but I won’t now.” joel elbows him, and jimmy squawks in indignation. “it’s stupid.” he adds, just to be annoying.

“grian, come help me kill him.” jimmy says, and joel cackles.

“oh, gladly.” grian says, plonking himself down on joel’s other side, snatching some of his blanket for himself.

“you guys’ idea of killing looks a lot like hugging.” joel notes, even as he snuggles into them.

“well, it’s one in the morning.” jimmy says, leaning into joel. “I need my beauty sleep.”

“tell me if it starts living up to the ‘beauty’ part.” grian says, wrapping an arm around joel’s waist as he rests his head on grian’s shoulder.

“oi!” jimmy exclaims.

“you’ll wake up the whole forest at this rate, lad.” joel nudges him, grinning sleepily. man, crying your heart out takes it out of a guy.

“yeah, timmy.” grian teases, wrapping his wings around the three of them. “go to sleep.”

jimmy huffs, but he copies grian, settling down. “I am. you go to sleep.”

joel makes a noise between a grunt and a sigh as he shifts, smiling to himself. “thanks for checking up on me.” he mumbles, eyes closing.

“‘course, dude.” jimmy says, voice soft.

“yeah, we’re not letting our bad boy get all sad.” grian squeezes him.

“exactly.” jimmy rubs a thumb gently against joel’s ear. “besides..”

“I like sleeping under the stars.”

#the bad boys #bad boys #limited life #joel smallishbeans #grian #jimmy solidarity #please don’t tag as ship <3 #wren writes #trafficblr

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messrmoonyy · 1 year

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okay how about Tess and reader having a bet to see who can crack first without sex and reader cracks and begs Tess to fuck her? Thank you our lord and saviour messr 🙌🏻

Bet on it

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

A/n- hello. Thank you for the manners lmao it’s ben annoying me people don’t have the decency to be polite. ANYWAYS. I was really looking for an excuse to write about going down in Tess cause it’s been rattling around in my head for so long, so I took this as the excuse. Pls tess gimme one chance I beg tho I won’t lie I don’t like this one all that much but. Have it. What are you gonna do, ask me for a refund?

Warnings- 18+|| tess. Smut: mommy kink. Like it’s pretty strong, oral ( Tess receiving ) , fingering ( Tess and reader receiving sorta )

Word count- 3.7k

Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated

It was all Joel’s fault.

Him and his stupid fucking mouth. And maybe Tess too. Either way, you refused to take any blame.

It wasn’t your fault you were… loud. It also wasn’t your fault the walls were paper fucking thin and he just so happened to live next door. The man was damn half deaf and 9 times out of 10 he was passed out anyway, some brain rotting concoction of pain killers and whiskey knocking him out for the count. So it’s not like you’d made any real attempts to be quiet anyway, you just assumed he couldn’t hear.

How were you supposed to be quiet when you had someone like fucking Tess between your legs. You’d like to see anyone keep their mouth shut with her fucking the life out of them. Well. You wouldn’t actually. But that was besides the point.

He was probably just pissed because his sex life was non existent.

‘ you can’t go a single day without goddamn jumpin each other. It’s like livin next to a pair of rabbits ‘ he’d said. Of course you being the stubborn fuck that you were, had said you absolutely could go a day. Joking that it was Tess who couldn’t keep her hands to herself. And she had scoffed at the mere thought of her being the needier of you two.

So that was how the bet had been born. To see who could last the longest. Who would crack first. You’d expected it to only last a couple of days at the most. Tess jumped your bones every chance she got normally, couldn’t keep her hands off of you. But now she was behaving like a fucking nun.

The first few days had been fine. But by day 3 you were regretting it. So by day 8 you’d had enough. You felt like an animal in heat, like you were going insane. She wasn’t even doing anything particularly alluring. Just her presence alone was enough to make you insane. Her voice. Her face. The way she held you when you slept. The confidence she oozed in any and all situations. You were head over heels for the woman, how were you supposed to behave any differently?

Bit knowing how stubborn she could be you’d almost immediately accepted that she wouldn’t break. It wouldn’t stop you trying though. You were trying your hardest to make her crack, from deciding walking around the apartment in your underwear was perfectly normal. To ‘accidentally’ brushing against her when you shared the rationed water in the shower. But other than the occasional glance up at you she wasn’t breaking. In fact when you’d tried another tactic of leaving your button up only half way done up. She’d simply stood and buttoned it right up to the collar for you, leaning in close to your ear and whispering ‘ nice try ‘

By day 10 you decided you didn’t give a fuck about honour or pride anymore. You were done.

You were sat at the table, fingers drumming against the wood as you watched her. She had the sleeves of her shirt rolled in a way that showed off her forearms, she fucking knew you had a thing for that. She was doing it on purpose, knowing you’d snap. You were sure.

You needed to touch her. Needed her to touch you.

You didn’t think it was actually humanly possible to be as desperate as you were. Before ending up in Boston you’d gone years without anything. And yet, now you weren’t even going to make it to 2 weeks. Were you that enthralled by her? That addicted? It was almost embarrassing.

Especially when she seemed as cool and collected as ever.

You tried to ignore her, looking back down at your rota of assignments for the week. But you could still see her from the corner of your eye, wetting the pads of her fingers to turn the page in her book more easily.

You didn’t know if you should be mildly offended or not. That she seemed to be doing much better than you were. Though she had always been the better of you both at masking her true emotions and feelings.

You didn’t know how much longer you could take it. Waking up every morning to soaked underwear because your dreams had been filled with nothing but her, missing the way her fingers felt on your skin, how her teeth felt nipping at your neck. You missed the hickeys, the bruises she always left on your hips when she was feeling particularly rough. The scratch marks you’d leave down her back in response.

You were done.

You got up from your spot at the table and made your way over to her in purposeful strides, plucking the book from her hands and climbing into her lap. She quirked at eyebrow at you, a smug smile already creeping it’s way onto her face.

“ I was reading that “ you shrugged running your hands down over her shoulders and arms, over her chest and grabbing at the collar of her shirt.

“ this bet is fuckin stupid. I need you so bad. I can’t take it anymore “ you whispered, a whiny tone to your voice like some spoiled little kid that was being declined something they wanted. She simply scoffed

“ it was your fuckin idea “

“ I know I know. It was stupid. I’m stupid. Joel’s fuckin stupid “ you tested the waters lightly, pulling open her shirt where she already had the first couple buttons undone. Not revealing anything particularly scandalous, but still overjoyed just at the sight of more of her skin “ please. Please fuck me. Touch me. Let me touch you. Anything. Mommy please “ you whimpered the last part, pulling out every trick in the book to make her crack.

“ oh you’re begging now? “ you whispered a yes, nodding you head. You unbuttoned her shirt with haste, her hands still placed firmly on the fabric of the chair rather than you. You rolled your hips against her, pushing her shirt from her shoulders and tossing it carelessly behind you. But before you could touch her she grabbed the back of your neck, making you look at her.

“ this was your idea baby girl, and you want to end it? “ she looked far too smug and you hated her for it. But you were so desperately horny it was making your brain fuzzy. Your hands traveled down to her jeans, desperate to unbutton those too “ I know your tricks. You just want to win ”

“ I don’t care about winning, Fuck if you won’t touch me let me touch you “ you said, dropping your head to press kisses across her neck “ please mommy” her spare hand that was still on the armrest shifted slightly, still didn’t touch you anywhere you particularly wanted her. But moved. You were working her down “ please let me touch you. Let me taste. I’ll be so good I promise. You win. You win “

You hands trailed back to her chest, grabbing at her through the material of her bra, grabby hands groping at her with no shame.

“ you wanna make mommy feel good? “ the low, sultry, tone of her voice made butterflies explode in your chest. You lifted your head, nodding and not letting your hands stop their wandering.

“ please “ she looked entirely too smug and you knew you would never hear the end of it. She would hold the fact that she had won over you for the foreseeable. But you’d be pissed about that later, in that moment you didn’t give a fuck. The only thought whirring around in your brain was getting your mouth on her, you wanted to taste her on your tongue, wanted to make sure she’d never want to go so long without you again “ can I? Please “

She observed your face for a moment, then gave you a small nod and it was all the confirmation you needed. You slid down from her lap and onto your knees on the floor.

“ always look so pretty on your knees for me “ she mused as you grabbed at her jeans, tugging them down her legs as she lifted slightly so you could get them off “ just so we’re clear, you know this means I win and I’ll be tellin Joel that you lost and not me right? “ you nodded fervently, mildly surprised that she was actually letting you rid her of her clothes. Almost expecting the entire thing to be a joke, making you keep going with the stupid fucking bet until you actually exploded.

But clearly she was as desperate for it as you were. She was just better at controlling herself. She always had been.

“ I know. I don’t care “ the way she was already clearly wet when you tugged her underwear down her legs too, was proof enough that she was well and truly done with the bet too. You practically drooled at the sight, already anticipating the familiar taste of her in your mouth “ wanna taste you. Can I. Please mommy “ you begged and she reached down, lifting your chin and making you look up at her.

“ my poor baby, so desperate “ it was almost mocking. She was fucking loving the fact that she had won “ gonna show mommy just how desperate you are? Hmm? “ in response you ran your hands over her thighs, pushing them apart and tugging her closer “ show mommy what a good girl you are “

She took a sharp intake of breath as you buried your face between her legs, sighing blissfully as the taste of her flooded your tongue. You wanted to reach every part of her, your tongue dragging between her folds, devouring her. No desire in making it last, a burning primal desire to have her coming on your tongue the only thing you could think about.

You spread her with your fingers, lapping at her hole and not letting a drop of her arousal go anywhere but your tongue. Relishing in the small sounds it earned you.

“ that’s mommy’s good girl “ she sighed, her hand threading into your hair and tugging lightly so that your scalp prickled. You hummed a response, not slowing in your ministrations, tracing a pattern with your tongue from her entrance to her clit. Your chin and lips were slick with her. She filled all of your senses.

Your nose. Your eyes. Your mouth. The velvety feel of her walls when you dipped your tongue inside of her, the sounds of her quiet breathy moans and vulgar sounds of how wet she was. It’s what you had been yearning for for days, what your dreams had been filled with. A never ending stream of praise as you made her feel good. You moaned against her, the vibrations clearly doing her wonders.

You own cunt was flooding your underwear, your clit desperate to be touched. You were half tempted to reach down and touch yourself, but she deserved your undivided attention. So you settled with squeezing your thighs together.

“ makin mommy feel so good. Just like that baby “ her voice was breathier and you couldn’t help the smile that crept it’s way onto your face. It was no lie that she was a god when it came to making you feel good, she knew exactly how to pull you apart in minutes. But she was much more difficult to navigate, harder to read. She wasn’t like you. She often urged you to be loud, to make noise and be vocal. But she was the opposite.

For someone so rough and confident she was much more gentle and soft in her reactions. It was all in her breathing, the sharp intakes and the shuddering breaths, the quiet curses that never usually went much louder than a whisper, only getting anything else from her if you managed to get her completely relaxed.

And the near breathless commands and instructions she still gave you, keeping you in check. Keeping you exactly where she wanted you doing exactly as she wanted. And showering you in the praise she knew you so desperately craved from her.

And nothing made you feel better than watching her fall apart. Because of you.

The tight grip on your hair grew impossibly stronger when you slipped in a finger, adding a second when your first was met with no resistance, burying them inside her to the knuckle.

“ fuck “ she whispered under her breath, her eyes falling closed for a moment. You watched her face carefully as you worked her open on your fingers, scissoring and curling them in some attempt to touch as much of her as you could. Stretching and massaging her velvety soft walls with your fingers, honing in on one spot when you noticed her reactions change.

“ such a good girl doin so well for me baby “ the way she was clenching around your fingers told you she wasn’t going to last much longer. So you kept at the pace, fingers curling up and hitting the same spot over and over. Tongue and lips practically abusing her clit in a way that was making your jaw ache, not that you cared “ like makin mommy feel good? Huh? “ you hummed an answer against her that drew another heavenly sound from her throat.

Nothing brought you more joy than watching her fall apart above you, knowing that only you could get her like that. Only you got to see that blissful look on her face, her eyes closed and soft breathy moans leaving her throat and going straight to your cunt.

“ that’s my girl. Like that. Gonna make mommy come. Is that what you want baby? “ you nodded, detaching yourself from her with a mildly obscene wet sound.

“ Wanna feel you come on my tongue“ you practically whined, begging for the privilege of being the one the push her over the edge. To gift her with the same earth shattering orgasm she so often gave to you “ please mommy “

“ since you’ve been such a good girl for me “ you didn’t wait a second longer, withdrawing your fingers and replacing them with your tongue. You gripped at her thighs, holding her in place, your eyes fixed on her face so you could watch every second “ that’s it baby, make mommy come. That’s my good girl “ her tone was higher, breathes quickening the rise and fall of her chest.

You started to rub soft circles into her clit with your thumb, relishing in the way she was clearly losing her composure. Squirming slightly in the chair, pushing your face closer until she was all consuming in your mind.

It was becoming slightly difficult to breathe but you weren’t about to complain. If you were gonna die you figured that was pretty alright way to go out. The searing heat of her on your tongue was enough to make you forget every single other thing in your mind.

A few more thrusts of your tongue and she was gone, head thrown back and her eyes screwed shut, heavenly sound after heavenly sound falling from her lips like music to your ears. You didn’t stop for a second. Lapping up every drop of creamy, sweet release she offered you.

You didn’t stop until she gently tugged your head back, your actions clearly bordering on being too much for her. You rested your head against her thigh, looking up at where she was running a hand through her hair and attempting to regain her composure.

“ you couldn’t have done that a week ago baby? Fuck “ a grin found its way onto your face, happy for the verbal confirmation that she had been struggling just as much as you had. She was just far better at hiding it.

“ I do good mommy? “ you asked softly, pressing a kiss to the silky soft skin of her thigh. She looked down at you with a soft smile and nodded.

“ so good baby. Come here. Up here “ you crawled back up into her lap, readily accepting her kisses when she pulled you in, the taste of her still lingering on your tongue “ seriously baby I needed that when you decided to walk around in your fuckin underwear “ she said when she pulled back, tucking her fingers under your chin.

She looked otherworldly. Her face flushed and glowing, the light sheen of sweat on her forehead and the hazy look in her eyes that could only come from having your lover between your thighs. It made you squirm a little in her lap, your panties completely soaked. You almost wondered if she could feel it.

“ I don’t know how I made it this long “ she laughed at that, her eyes flickering down to where you were wiggling around. She gave you an almost sympathetic smile, the backs of her fingers brushing along your jaw before pushing your hair away from your neck.

“ does my baby need some attention from mommy now? “ you almost sighed in relief, nodding your head “ you want mommy to fuck you? Hmm? “ her nose traced along your neck, lips brushing against the skin and making your cheeks flush and goosebumps follow in her wake.

Her hand came up, palming at your tit through the thin material of your T-shirt as she began working a deep purple bruise onto the tender skin of your neck.

“ mommy “ you whimpered, eyes falling closed as she marked you up in the way you adored most. It made warmth pool in your belly every time. Knowing she wanted to mark you. Brand you. You were hers. You belonged to her. Completely and utterly. And she wanted people to know it.

The friction of the cotton of your shirt against your nipple sent sparks straight to your cunt, your clit throbbing. Desperately wanting to be touched. You needed her fingers. Her mouth. Anything. You were so desperate you even wondered if you’d be able to get off just from the way she was grabbing at your chest.

“ please I can’t- “

“ it’s okay baby “ she cooed, soothing the last of her possessive marks with her tongue before lifting her head again “ tell mommy what you want. Use your words “

“ you. I. I want you. Anything just please- “ you cut yourself off with a pathetic mewl of a sound as she dipped her hand past the waistband of your sweats, fingers brushing over the soaked cotton of your underwear.

“ holy shit “ she mumbled mostly to herself, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment at just how wet you were for her. She hadn’t even touched you “ my baby’s so desperate huh? “ you nodded, dropping your face to her shoulder and hiding from her gaze “ my poor sweet baby “ she cooed, running a soft hand up and down your spine “ if only you weren’t so stubborn you wouldn’t be in this mess would you? Mommy could’ve been eating this perfect little pussy days ago “

Your face burned at her words, still squirming as she ran her finger lightly over your swollen clit through the soaked material of your underwear. It was too light to really do anything, but just enough pressure for you to know she was there. It was infuriating.

“ I need more. Please mommy I can’t take it anymore “ her spare hand gently nudged your face up from where you’d been hiding, cupping your cheek in her hand as her eyes scanned your features. You wondered if your desperation was evident on your face.

No. You knew it was.

“ can you do one thing for me? “

“ anything. I’ll do anything “ she smiled, clearly pleased with your willingness to obey without even knowing what she was going to ask. No questions. No second thoughts. Just complete obedience to her every command. She brushed her thumb across your bottom lip before pushing past and hooking it into your mouth. Her smile grew as you moaned softly, sucking without her even having to ask.

“ I wanna hear all those pretty noises you like to make for me. Can you do that? “ you nodded quickly, knowing there wasn’t even a remote chance you’d be able to keep yourself quiet. Not after 10 days of absolutely nothing from her “ that’s my good girl, mommy loves when you’re loud for her “

You rolled your hips, no patience left in you anymore. She took the hint, rubbing at your clit through your underwear with two fingers. The friction of the cotton, the pressure of her fingers, and the fact that you had been wanting to come for days, meant you were going to be done ridiculously fast.

“ I know baby, I got you “ she cooed as you whined in a frustrated desperation, fingers wrapping around her wrist as you rutted against her hand some more. Your orgasm was so close you could practically taste it “ I know you’re so desperate to come, don’t fight it baby. It’s okay. Mommy’s got you “ you closed your eyes, focussing solely on grinding into her hand, cheeks on fire at the crude squelching sounds your cunt was making as you moved.

“ mommy- “ you whined, biting down lightly on her thumb that was still in your mouth, not holding back a single moan. Letting them all tumble out of your throat without a care.

“ I know baby girl. Gonna show me how pretty you look when you come for me?” You nodded, increasing the pace that you rolled your hips, ignoring the way your legs were beginning to cramp up “ such pretty sounds “ she mused as your moans increased in pitch, your orgasm teetering on a ledge already.

Maybe you should’ve been a little embarrassed. She wasn’t even touching you properly, a barrier of cotton between her fingers and your cunt. But you weren��t at all. A Selfish desire to come being the only thing you could think about. You’d be embarrassed later.

Your climax was intense. 10 days of lusting after her with no release finally coming to a head. She praised you all the way through it, and only withdrew her hand from your sweats when you slumped against her with a content sigh.

She ran her hand up and down your back lightly, pressing kisses to the side of your head.

“ better? “ you hummed a response, trying to live in that afterglow for as long as you could. If you were being completely honest, it had been good to finally get… something. But you weren’t entirely satisfied. Thankfully Tess was rarely ready to call it a night without making you come at least twice. And was also as if she could read your mind.

“ don’t get too comfy baby. We have 10 days to make up for. Mommy’s not done with you yet “ you squealed as she stood up, taking you with her and carrying you over to the bed. You wrapped your arms and legs tightly around her as she lay you down, not wanting her to go anywhere “ now. Let’s teach that fucker next door a lesson shall we? “

#tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos #the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us fanfic #x you #smut #anna torv #tlou #other characters for exposure:#ellie williams #Joel miller #lgbt #lesbian #fluff

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roach-works · 2 years

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heyo! i just read your reblogs on that post about cis/trans ppl who ship m/m content and was struck by a lot of what you said. up until recently, i have "lived very fully and enthusiastically as a woman," though i've always envied/admired men in fiction and have always gravitated towards exploring men's stories in my work. i am starting to think this is bc i Am A Man but i'm struggling with relating to/understanding my past self, who seemed perfectly fine with being a woman (1/2)

okay, here's my very best piece of advice to cis, trans, or questioning people: you aren't, necessarily, who you were.

do you know the sunk cost fallacy? when you sink a lot of time, money, or ego into something, you get very reluctant to abandon that thing. people stake their reputation on a scam, then can't back down because it would mean admitting they were wrong. people blow their life savings at casinos, because they think that the next bet will validate all their past ones and save them. people with abusive partners want to believe that all the love they spent wasn't in vain.

for all these reasons, examining and potentially discarding fundamental pieces of your identity is very difficult. you put a lot of time into being this one gender. you staked your ego and reputation on it. you had some good times! it felt really worthwhile! but now you're starting to wonder if it is worth it, if it was ever worth it. if you were wrong, if you're stupid, if everyone's going to laugh at you, if there will be anything left if you throw all this time and life and selfhood in the trash.

full disclosure, i was proud to be a woman and i flatly did not want to be a trans man. i knew it would be hard, and i knew the risks were high, and i knew i'd have to eat a lot of shit as everyone in my life said 'wait, but you're a man-hating feminist. how do you square that?' and i would have to say, 'well, i can't square it. some things don't get solved like math problems.' i would have been a cis man in an instant but i was scared to death of having to do all the hard uncomfortable work of transitioning and still potentially just being stuck with this sort of shitty, unpleasant, messed up, mad-science approximation of a male body. i knew it just was not physically possible to turn myself into the man i would have been had i been AMAB, and the idea of settling for a crude facsimile sounded absolutely pathetic.

but like, the other thing about me, is that i have been chronically anxious since i was a little kid, and what i learned from being scared of absolutely everything was that i couldn't let fear stop me or i would live my life underneath a blanket, pissing myself. so by the time i had to face up to the horror and terror of potentially being trans, i had gotten into the habit of simply doing terrifying things anyway, because being terrified wasn't a valid excuse not to at least try it out.

here's the other thing about me! i've got an extreme case of ADHD brainworms and every five or ten years i go do Something Else. i love moving. i love turning into something new.

so what i found was that i absolutely love being consciously engaged in the business of being myself. i like taking hormones that change my body. i like taking medication that changes my mind. i love having my hands on the levers of who i am in this life and cranking them around to see what happens next. i am myself on purpose and it's absolutely exhilarating. i wouldn't trade it for being normal if you paid me.

and so here's the thing about everyone: you can change as soon as you want. right now! immediately!

your past self is just a record of who you were, it's not a prophecy. and before anyone says 'well it's not that easy, change is hard, it takes work and time!', i agree with that too! but that's because changing into something new requires effort for the same reason that moving anything takes effort: it's just inertia. objects at rest stay at rest unless changed. objects in motion continue on that path unless changed.

you will be the same person every day you don't deliberately try something new, and then, there you go, you're changing. i have picked up rocks that were a hundred million years old and thrown them into a pond; nothing about the stillness of the rock was forever or even important. i don't know how many other ways to phrase this but it's very important to me to try to communicate it to as many people as i can.

you can just stop doing something you don't like doing. you can just try something new immediately. you don't need an excuse. you don't need to justify the way you spend your time, the way you've spent it. you can love and cherish your womanhood for twenty seven years and then say 'i think i'm done with this now' and go try something else.

maybe you'll like being a man and find that it suits you much better than being a woman. maybe you won't! either way, you'll have changed, and you can just keep changing for as long as you live, and isn't that so much better than being frozen up with fear?

#i love changing!!! i love being new things #to be trans is to travel and move and recreate yourself #it's extremely fucking cool!! it really is!#trans stuff #advice #long post

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ihavenocluedude · 2 years

Text

Lost in admiration

Eddie Munson x Gender Neutral!reader

Link to reading this on Ao3 Link to my main masterlist

A/N - I don’t mention any pronouns as far as I know so I think I can call this gender neutral but what the heck do I know. Title sort of taken from the song Head over Heels by Tears For Fears. Although not really inspired by it. Except maybe the vibes?? I’ve seriously been working on this for days now and my brain is beat. I am so in love with Eddie Munson though so it’s worth it.

Sort of inspired by these two tags I wrote in a reblog of an Eddie Gifset :

Warnings - Swearing (a lot of internal anxious swearing especially I guess but also in dialogue, which is also mostly in the anxious dialogues), crushing on someone for years, mentions of drugs and alcohol, drinking, I’m kind of scared this is OOC... so like hoping it isn’t but warning that it might be

Word Count - 5.7k

”So, you’re having a party on Friday?” This had been going on for 3 days now, the near-constant questioning.

Several people coming up to you at any time they themselves figured was a good time to ask this very question. And now even fucking popular douchebag star of the basketball team Jason Carver was speaking to you. Seemingly trying to work some sort of charm that you bet several of the cheerleaders had fallen victim to.

”There’s no party.”

”That’s not what the entire school is saying y’know? Parents gone, a whole house to yourself, don’t be selfish.” As if any of that would change your mind to actually liking parties and wanting to have a bunch of strangers in your home.

”I know.” You chuckled sarcastically before continuing ”But, y’know… no one in this school except for me actually lives there so, it’s my right to decide. No party.”

”So… no party?”

”Exactly. Spread the word, jock.” Thankfully, he stepped away from your lunch table after that. ”I hate this.”

”You don’t hate this.”

”Robin. I hate this. Someone literally almost stopped me in the grocery store yesterday, with my mom next to me! They’re not even away yet. And it wasn’t even me who told the masses that I’d be home alone this weekend.” You ranted in anguish before letting out a small groan, your volume rising slightly during your rant, making several of the students in the cafeteria look over at the two of you.

”I am sorry for telling Steve…”

”I know.”

”I didn’t think he’d-”

”Robin, it’s okay. It’s fine. It would’ve spread around anyway. Apparently, Steve was not the first to start spreading the word. Someone heard us talking the other day and didn’t hear all of it, so they assumed, like they always do.”

Your parents had told you the weekend before they were going to be away. Told you that they trusted you not to do anything stupid, have at most just three friends over, and to try not to mess up the house whilst they were gone. They hadn’t told and taught you the wise lesson that it’s wise not to mention this information in school or to tell your best friend not to tell anyone including her still somewhat new friend Steve Harrington.

Formerly known as King Steve. More recently known as the guy who had a thousand dates lined up but nowhere to take them to. Hawkins wasn’t exactly the most… eventful place unless you count the horrifying events that you’d thankfully and unthankfully gotten to know about through Robin’s rants to you about it after she got pulled into it all.

And Steve couldn’t possibly bring all his dates to the makeout spots like Lovers’ Lake or Skull Rock. No no no, that would be completely ridiculous. So when he heard Robin mentioning you being home alone for the weekend, aka a possibility for a party he could take a date to, he’d just ran off to the phone to start calling numbers. He isn’t the guy to force a party upon you but… he ’accidentally’ was anyhow.

”Would it be that bad if you had a party?”

”Are you offering to clean up the house with me the day after?” You asked mostly sarcastically. Even with trying to turn everyone and anyone away from the idea that you were having a party… It was sort of starting to grow on you anyway.

The ’classic’ high school experience was just there right in front of you, why not appreciate it? Besides if you didn’t you’d have to open your door every five minutes on Friday and tell them ’no, there isn’t a party here, listen for a second… you hear that? complete silence’ anyway by the way this had spread… so why not instead actually just let them in.

”Sure.”

”Really?”

”Why not?”

”Am I really going to have a party just because of group pressure?” Robin’s smile was ridiculously infectious and even as you said it you felt your lips quirking up into a small smile.

”Not just. He would totally come.” AND she’d won you over completely. You knew exactly who she was talking about, because who else would she be talking about with such inflection in her voice.

Before you knew it you had stood up on the lunch table dramatically as he himself has done before. Clearing your voice in a showy way before almost screaming to the cafeteria ”I CHANGED MY MIND! MY HOUSE THIS FRIDAY, PEOPLE!”

You should’ve known to regret those sentences by the way the basketball team table started cheering. Fuck. But then whilst you were getting down off the table, desperately averting your eyes from the popular table, your eyes just quickly locked on him for a second. The usual jean vest & leather jacket duo, and the Hellfire club shirt proudly presented under them. But more importantly, his eyes on you too.

”Well, that was nice.”

”Do you think he’ll still come if Jason and his league of basketball douchebags come?”

You knew that he wasn’t that into parties in general. But he showed up sometimes. You weren’t really a party person yourself but if Eddie ’The Freak’ Munson came to the party, you’d hear about it the day after usually. Some of them he just attended because he knew he could sell a lot, bringing along his little lunch box-y thingy.

But… in this situation, you also sort of had a contact that could perhaps convince him to come. Hopefully.

The video store wasn’t necessarily your favorite place in Hawkins, but it wasn’t all that bad. You’d hang out with Robin whilst she worked sometimes, which led to actually getting to know Harrington a bit. There were movies galore, you had a pretty good friend discount, and Robin would tell you when something you’d maybe want to rent or buy would come in. But none of those reasons were why you entered the video store along with Robin right after school that afternoon. Almost rushing up to Steve Harrington, a somewhat pleading look in your eyes already.

”I need you to pass on a message. Well, not a message per se… I just-”

”Out with it.”

”I want you to make Dustin convince Eddie Munson to go to my party. Without making it all- fucking- obvious.” You were jittery, nervous, and still just a tad on edge from your earlier announcement at lunch. And Steve’s immediate reaction to start laughing at what you just said did not help your on edge behavior. ”Steve, I’m serious.”

”Eddie ’The Freak’ Munson?” He scoffed once he’d calmed down his laughing enough to get words out, but then turned quiet for a few seconds as he saw your anxiousness. ”Are you… No way! You’re into Freaky Eddie?”

”Steve! Shut up!” You muttered with wide eyes, quickly glancing around the store to thankfully see no customers your age in the store at the moment. ”Can you do it?”

”It’s up to Dustin but I can ask him.”

— ~~~ —

All in all… it wasn’t a big deal. The thing about Eddie, your thing for Eddie. But it had started years ago.

It could all be traced back to middle school. But you wouldn’t call what you felt back then a crush. It was more like… an admiring kind of intimidation and jealousy.

He was just so himself.

You felt like you were still deciding if you were an actual person and there he was so… fully formed. He’d already started his rock band with his friends, been so passionate about music it almost made you sick, and had a sick buzzcut at the time. And he was older. He seemed so mature and grown sometimes although he was probably nothing of the kind.

It wasn’t like you ever talked to him, the intimidation was just… too much. He went off to high school whilst you were stuck in middle school for two more years without him and by then he’d slipped away from your mind a little. Well until you saw him again at least.

Once you caught up to high school with him he was in his junior year. Just two more years until you’d probably never see him again, at least that’s what you thought.

Freshman year was… easy. It wasn’t quite the same awestruck admiration you’d had for him when you were younger. And you hadn’t yet quite seen him like you would come to see him the year after. Once entering your sophomore year, the year of his first senior year, you realized that the feelings you felt towards him had definitely developed more… romantically?

Without ever speaking to the guy, without ever actually interacting with him, it had still developed.

He had started growing out his hair from the buzzcut the year before, the shaggy curly hair growing quickly and just almost reaching his shoulders at that point. And you noticed that you’d never really noticed his eyes before. For a guy who seemed so unreserved and called a freak, his eyes were just really calm in a way. Yet so expressive, warm, and just beautiful. And although you’d never really mention it to anyone, not even Robin, he was adorable. And hot.

But you had to be honest with yourself after all. That was his senior year. He’d leave Hawkins and probably never come back after that, at least that’s what you’d heard the plan was. And you were… glad.

Maybe you could stop feeling like some school girl with a silly crush on the ’bad boy’ of the school. Maybe you could stop feeling as if he was just everywhere you went in Hawkins, just because your brain seemed to feel like it meant more seeing him than seeing any other schmuck in this school or person in this world. Maybe you could stop fantasizing about joining his club just to get the courage to actually talk to him.

Then he was held back.

And it all just snowballed. The feelings grew more intense and testified to the fact that you really never were going to speak to him out of your own volition. Not even if you tried joining The Hellfire club, because how on earth were you going to speak to him whilst under the pressure of the game too?

And now you had agreed to host a party partially because Robin told you he’d come. It wasn’t even guaranteed. It was just speculation and your heart jumped out of your chest and told your brain it was a good idea, even when in afterthought it felt like the most stupid thing you’d ever done.

— ~~~ —

You’d thought about if you’d actually get the courage to speak to Eddie at the party. Would what people call ’liquid courage’ actually give you courage? You weren’t a party person yourself, you didn’t know the proper etiquette, and you definitely didn’t feel like you had whatever you thought you needed to speak to Eddie Munson. Which felt silly considering Freshmen speak to him daily.

You hadn’t ever talked to him thus far, why would it happen at the party?

This was the question you were both asking yourself as much as you also were protesting it. You obviously wanted to speak to him. And hey, why not? It would be more casual at the party, perhaps liquid courage is actually courage, and hey maybe unicorns do exist?

It all just felt so ridiculous that you questioned why you were thinking about it this much anyway. A loop in your head with the intermittent ’you should think about all the other great things about this party!’. And still, it was on your mind the whole Thursday school day.

”Hey!-shit. Hello?” The question had been clouding your mind enough to first not even notice the person who’d called after you. ”Can you stop walking please?” Or at least seemed to be calling for you. You turned around before answering, hoping to see that it wasn’t yet another person asking about the party and instead someone calling after someone else.

And there he was. Seemingly actually calling for you.

Taking a breath and clearing your throat before answering, ”Y-Yeah?” if you hadn’t it probably would’ve sounded more like a whisper.

”You’re having a party tomorrow right?” A quick nod in response as you don’t fully trust your words, barely even trusting your facial expressions in this moment. ”Could we talk for a minute?”

”Yeah sure absolutely.” You were talking to him. What the fuck was going on.

”Not… in school preferably.” He clarified, hoping that you’d get what he was signifying. You gave a slower nod before gesturing with your thumb over your shoulder towards the way you were headed out of school, him giving you a nod back to say that he’d follow you. Walking up beside you as you then walked side by side through the halls.

”I could… I could drive you home or something and we could talk about it on the way?” He suggested sort of stumbling through the sentence, your shy and quiet demeanor because of being flustered evidently being somewhat contagious.

”Uhm… well, my friend is supposed to pick me up. But… yeah sure?

”Oh, I should’ve known, you can still go with… them. We could just talk tomorrow?”

”No, it’s fine, really.” You insisted whilst simultaneously trying as hard as possible not to constantly look up at him. To get to see his eyes up close or see if he had that smile you’d only get to truly see when he was making a spectacle of himself somewhere in the school. Instead, you allowed yourself a few short glances before averting your eyes to the way you were going.

Whispers from other people in the hall somehow already started going around about the two of you as they saw you. But soon enough Eddie’s voice cut through them as he spoke to you again.

”So, Steve right?”

”Huh?”

”The friend picking you up?”

”How’d you know?” Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in response although quickly trying to unfurrow them to not seem as desperate for the answer as you actually felt. Running your fingers anxiously over your forehead lightly before running your hand over your hair and then dropping it to your side again.

”Well he picks you up sometimes right?”

”Well yeah but-”

”And I know Dustin who knows Steve so…”

”Right. Of course.” Somehow it had never truly come up in your mind that Eddie could know who you were. That he had heard about you from Dustin or others, that he could’ve had thought about you too whenever you two saw each other around Hawkins the last couple of years. ”I just have to tell Robin that I’m going with you instead and then we can go I guess.” You sort of sighed out when the two of you stepped out of the school, trying to take deep breaths but still feeling like you were somehow failing.

Once outside Robin was thankfully the first thing you saw. Not that she was close by but rather that your eyes knew just as well as your brain to seek her out when anxious. Your safe person.

”I’ll just go wait in my van.”

”I- I don’t know which one’s yours.” It wasn’t completely true, but it wasn’t false either. You’d seen him arrive at school once or twice at the same time that you did and although you had picked up that it was a van… you’d mostly been focused on the driver rather than the car or really trying not to look.

But even though you knew you’d embarrass yourself more by trying to find it later without knowing what it looks like… you found yourself regretting saying that anyway. Because right after you said it, he got closer to you, made sure he was on the same eye-level as you, and then pointed it out before noting; ”It’s… that one.”

Shivers. down. your. spine. Mouth slacking slightly open before quickly snapping it shut. Breathing in deeply through your nose, although regretting that instantly as well.

He was barely doing anything but being somewhat close to you, body heat radiating from him, his arm pointing over one of your shoulders towards the van that sat just a small distance away, his head lingering quite closely by yours on your other side.

But considering you’d pined for him for over two years, been admiring him, and been intimidated by him for even longer, it felt like… nothing else. Not to talk about the fact that you got a heavy dose of what he smells like, heavenly by the way, when you breathed in through your nose.

”I- I see it. I think. I’ll be right over. I just- see you later.” You managed to get out before directing your eyes back to Robin and walking quickly towards her. Her eyes were wide and already looking at you, definitely having seen what just happened, your eyes instantly shooting daggers back at her as you knew that Eddie would be able to see her expression if he looked over.

And although she was your safe person you once again couldn’t stop the incessant overthinking going on in your head as you walked towards her.

Eddie must think that you’re terrified of him or something by the way you’ve averted your eyes, stumbled and stuttered your way through the conversation, and the anxious behavior overall. OR he knows, he’s noticed and he knows. Either way; Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

”So, what the hell was that?” Robin asked a teasing grin on her face that probably wouldn’t stop even if you begged her not to smile like that ’because it’s making it obvious’.

”I- uhm… he wants… Eddie- he wants to talk about the party, I think. He’s sort of driving me home.”

”What?”

”You can literally not make a big deal out of this right now, I’m freaking out and he’s probably looking at us or something. I can’t look-” You started ranting, your last few words catching Robin’s attention as she decided to glance his way instead, your hand immediately going up to her jaw to push her eyes back to you ”Robin! You can’t either, are you crazy?”

”Somewhat.”

”What the fuck do I do.”

”You think I know anything about that?”

”I don’t know! Where the fuck is Steve when we need him?” And almost as if summoning a demon, you apparently summoned Steve by just saying his name, his car rolling into the nearest parking spot to you and Robin before quickly half getting out one foot in the car and the other on the asphalt. ”Oh, thank fuck.”

”How did you do that?” Robin chuckled before looking over at Steve. ”Hi Dingus. Look like it’s just going to be the two of us.”

”Really? You don’t need a ride?” Steve asked, directing the first question to Robin before looking at you and tilting his head the way it feels like he always does when asking something.

”Getting a ride by Eddie Munson.” Robin answered, louder than needed and with the same teasing grin as earlier. Throwing her stuff in the back seat before assuming the Steve Harrington Position of one foot in and one foot out.

”I thought you’d never spoken to him before?” Steve questioned, thankfully much softer and not as loud as Robin. You walked closer to the car hoping that fewer people might be interested in the talk the three of you were having and not having to talk as loudly. Or at least not as loudly as Robin thought she needed to for you to hear from that small distance away.

”I haven’t. Not until today, he was sort of waiting on me outside the classroom by the end of my lesson I guess?” And it still felt like one of your dreams or fantasies, although with a lot more anxiety.

”And you’re getting in a car with him?”

”I trust him. I mean hasn’t he like driven Dustin sometime or something? He trusts him too! But uhm… I need… Like- What the hell do I do? Like how do I act?”

”Why are you asking me?”

”Because you know about these sorts of things! I’ve seen you at the video store. C’mon now Harrington, lay it on me, tell me how I’m supposed to act.”

”Haven’t you been there during all the talks we’ve had with Robin about her crush? Be yourself!”

”Yeah fine whatever, but you can’t just do that, right?” The former king of Hawkins High had to have some sort of advice other than the totally cliché thing that Robin had said first.

”What, do you mean flirting?”

”I guess?” Although the nervous feelings from before weren’t gone, you found yourself a lot calmer around Robin and Steve. Eyes not averting as much except looking over at Robin from time to time and once or twice glancing over at the van to see that it’s still there. Just looking at the hulk of the van though and not even daring to look through the front window of the car in fear that you’ll lose all your calm within just a microsecond or something.

”Listen. Calm down. Go sit down in his van and just talk for now. You can save the flirting for when you’re drunk, it’s easier.”

”That last bit sounds sort of like bad advice, but what the hell.”

Robin and Steve drove off and you made your way over to the car, sparing one single glance through the front window to make sure it was Eddie sitting there, which thankfully it was. And thankfully you didn’t lose your complete cool by just looking at him, progress.

”Hi. Sorry that took a while.”

”It’s okay.” Eddie’s answer was short and simple, his voice as smooth in tone as you’d always thought it was. ”That conversation looked intense?” shit

”Uhm… yeah, no. It was nothing.”

”So, not about me?” Eddie questioned that wonderful smile on his face, obviously lightly teasing you. Testing the waters.

”No, no. About the party.” You chuckled back in response with a shake of your head, it wasn’t technically a lie, the party was sort of mentioned. Steve had told you to leave the flirting to the party. Eddie still hadn’t started the car. The two of you talking in the quiet of his van although with the echo of the conversations of students getting out of school just outside.

”I know Harrington doesn’t like me.”

”Harrington doesn’t know you.” It came rushed out before you could even stop yourself, ”Not that- not that I do… I just-”

”No, I get it. That’s… sweet.” Finally, albeit your feelings were a bit mixed over it, he started the car and started getting out of the parking lot, driving out into Hawkins. ”So, about the party. I was thinking that I’m gonna go.”

”Great.”

”Yeah?”

”Do you want to come?”

”Do you want me to come?”

”Yeah. Sure.”

”Could I- You do know about my ’part-time job’, right?” You didn’t know where to look but looking over at him, you found your eyes meeting his just as he was gesturing the quotation marks with his right hand, nodding in response once again. ”Can I sell at your party?”

”Why not? I won’t be- But I don’t mind.” You explained with a shrug and a shake of your head, once again stumbling through your words. Kept your eyes on him for a little while, appreciating the moment whilst you could, and finding out that he glanced over ever so often. But when looking out the front window you realized you were getting pretty close to home. ”Do you know where I live?”

”Everyone’s sort of been shouting your address all over the school the last few days. It would be hard not to.”

”That’s really… uncomfortable honestly. The whole thing of everyone knowing where you live? I felt pretty much invisible before all of this.” You winced, had people at school really been that vocal about a party? ”I won’t get like… weird shit happening to me right?”

”They’ll probably forget as soon as they’re there.”

”Really?”

”Absolutely, you’ll be safe.”

— ~~~ —

”So this is going well so far, right?” You asked with your back leaned up against a wall in the entry hallway next to Robin, drink in your hand. The door stood wide open and ready for the next horde of teenagers to come in and crowd your living room, kitchen, and whatever else they wanted it seemed. ”I mean… we’ve got a crowd, Steve seems pretty happy over there with Heidi or whoever, they all seem to enjoy the music? And I’m like… tipsy for the first time in a long time.”

”You’re past tipsy, but yes. Everything seems pretty good. Except for one thing. You haven’t talked to him.”

”I said hi?” You defended yourself. But you couldn’t even defend yourself that much cause you knew you wanted to, you needed to. If you had been sober you would’ve felt completely ready to go somewhere else and hide from the situation, but the drinks had pulled something out of you. Neediness, something you had both sort of hoped for and dreaded.

Neediness that made your eyes linger on him every time you peeked around the party, neediness that felt like it was pulling at your heart, neediness that felt like it was pulsing through your blood.

”Dude, go and talk to him.”

”Sure, fuck it. Wish me luck.”

”Good luck!” Robin chuckled and gently pushed your shoulder as you separated yourself from the wall.

The living room was completely crowded, just as expected. What you hadn’t expected, however, was the way most of the people in the living room still hung out in their cliques. Sure they weren’t all in their separate little groups, some were on what had become the dance floor not giving a shit, some were playing drinking games whilst sitting on the couch, and all in all, it wasn’t that bad.

But the basketball team was almost standing in a line, all in their letterman jackets as if the jacket was a uniform. Stood all together as if they were trying to intimidate the whole party. Meanwhilst, the seniors of the group they call freaks were all spread across the room, none of them in their hellfire shirts.

”That looks weird, right?” An icebreaker was always a reliable way to enter a conversation. At least that’s what you hoped for when you came up to Eddie, gesturing towards the team. ”It looks almost horror movie-esque.”

”Yeah definitely.” He laughed out, and just like you and Robin had leaned against a wall in the hallway, you leaned against a wall with Eddie Munson. What you hoped was one of the normal positions at a party that wasn’t sitting or being in the way of others. ”You’re okay with them being here though?”

”Yeah it’s fine. At least I know who they are, if any of them breaks a lamp… I know whose parents to call.” Popping the ’p’ and sighing a little before averting your eyes from the team and instead to Eddie who definitely seemed to be in a laughing mood. Looking away from him a second later though when you realized that you currently couldn’t look at his eyes this closely without your mouth just slightly opening. ”I’m not like that uncomfortable with it but… there are a lot of people here that I feel like I don’t know.”

”You know me.”

”Do I?” It felt like it was just minutes ago when you had sort of excused yourself by saying that you didn’t know him in his car.

”Eddie Munson, Freak of Hawkins High. Nice to meet you.” He stretched out his hand with a smug grin on his face. With a playful tone in his voice and expressing a demeanor you’d only seen from afar before. You took his hand without much of a second thought but almost froze up when you could feel the rings on his fingers. The rings almost shocked you as if something knocked on your brain and just reminded you that this was Eddie Munson. The Eddie Munson.

”Oh, you’re that guy, well of course.” You teased with a chuckle, playing along.

”Told you that you knew me!” He chuckled and clapped his hands together once after your little shake. ”Y’know Dustin was talking so much about the party I thought he was gonna come here. That he was dropping hints that he wanted me to chaperone him to his first party or something.”

”Really?” You might have to smack the back of Dustin’s head a little next time you see him… ”Is that why you came?”

”No… Not at all.” Eddie remarked calmly, holding eye contact with you whilst he said it but then moved his eyes to look over the party around the two of you. ”Could we get away from this for a while?”

”For sure.”

You tried going outside at first but there were a lot of people outside too. People who’d probably had the same thought as Eddie. To get some air or just get away from being surrounded by people for a second or two at least.

”I have an idea.” You said before without a thought taking his hand in yours and leading him to the kitchen. Opened one of the drawers, and there they were; the key you’d locked the bedrooms with and a bag of snacks you’d saved for either when everyone left or for when you felt you needed to retreat to your bedroom. Almost like this moment turned out. Except you’d thought it would just be you, going up into your room, changing clothes and eating snacks, and then falling asleep.

Took the key, took the snacks, filled up your drink, and walked upstairs with Eddie in tow. As soon as Eddie made it into the room as well you shut the door as quickly as possible, set down your things and walked over to the windows, and opened them. Letting the fresh air in, but also thankfully some background noise. Took your things again and slumped down next to your bed, using it as a backrest.

”Better?”

”Much.” Eddie chuckled, his also refilled drink stretched out to toast with yours, ”Cheers.”

”Cheers.” He was sitting close enough for you to feel the heat of him radiating off of him once again. If he was so warm all the time you had no clue how the hell he constantly had on that leather jacket and jean vest combo. But you weren’t going to complain about any of that.

”I didn’t bring my stash.”

”Huh?”

”The… I asked if I could sell, y’know the other day. But… I didn’t bring it.”

”I don’t want to buy or anything-”

”No, you’re- I just… I didn’t want to sell. I just wanted to be here.” Eddie admitted with a sigh as if he absolutely needed to tell you that. His ’here’ sounded as if he really meant here, alone with you.

”That’s… sweet.” You chuckled as you heard yourself practically quoting him from the other day. Your heart felt as if it was going to beat its way out of you. And as a distraction… you decided to make it so much harder on yourself. Pulling your legs closer to yourself before picking up his closest arm and resting it on your angled lap as you decided to get a closer look at the tattoo near his elbow. Angling your knees slightly more in towards him as you stroked your fingers over the bats that decorated his skin.

You knew his eyes were on you as you started to trace them with one of your hands, whilst the one closest to him sort of just supported his arm. Or at least that’s only what it was doing until he took that hand in his own. However, you still didn’t dare look at him just yet. But you could still feel how close his head was to yours, how close you truly were now.

Your breathing had become kind of heavy, mostly in anticipation. This certainly felt like something was about to happen. And surprisingly you found yourself being the one to make it happen. Looked at him and took a deep breath in before you picked up your hand that had now just rested over his tattoo and guided it to his jaw instead. And then guided him to you.

Turns out, that having a crush on Eddie Munson leads to pretty amazing things. Like seeing the way he looked at you before you kissed. Feeling his free hand rest on one of your knees and guide them even closer to him. And the harsh feeling of several years of crushing on him, being intimidated by him, and admiring him softened severely.

”I’ve been wanting that for… too long.” Eddie sighed out dreamily once the two of you parted, which almost made you laugh in his face.

”You? I’ve been-” You started before your eyes widened and started over, ”Yeah no… way too long.” Your head bumped gently down on his shoulder forehead first and rested it there.

”What were you going to say?” His voice was quite hushed still but you could hear the smug and happy tone in it so clearly. Although he seemed to try not to sound so obvious.

”I uhm… I’ve sort of had this crush on you… for a while.”

”Really?”

”Yep.”

”Dustin trying to convince me to go makes a lot more sense now.” Eddie chuckled although his voice sounded more confused than enlightened. ”I sort of… figured out it was something behind it but I didn’t believe it when he said it was Steve who’d asked him to. I never figured out that there was a chain of command.”

”Oh god. Sorry. I was just… I didn’t think you’d come with the way the basketball team pretty much yelled their acceptance of the invite. And… y’know, crush. So I figured it was worth a try.” You shrugged lightly and placed your chin on his shoulder instead so you could look at him. Those big soft brown eyes looked right back at you.

”I was gonna come anyway.”

”Well I didn’t know that.”

”But now you do.”

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things x reader #Eddie Munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfiction #Joseph Quinn x reader #eddie munson fic

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mlmxreader · 1 year

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Rattlesnakes | John Price x m!reader

Anonymous asked: Price with “I want you to be mine tonight” please?

summary: Price takes you out for the evening, and although it isn't the best in the world, at least you can still have fun together.

tws: swearing

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

At the best of times, stars and stripes were the same as the sound as the rattle of a snake's tail; sure, it might have been a harmless bull snake, trying to ward off trouble by making itself seem more dangerous than it really was, but who would be stupid enough to try and give a snake grief without knowing whether it was a harmless friend, or a deadly foe?

Stars and stripes surrounded you, and they were all the same; obnoxious, rude, glory chasers more than anything else. They clicked their fingers at bartenders and waiters alike, demanded attention and thought their silly uniforms gave them some sort of priority. You wondered why Price had asked you to meet him at a place where you were surrounded by bullsnakes and rattlesnakes, not wanting to piss one off in case it bit you.

At least there were a few decent people around; you could see a few Pakistan Army uniforms here and there, a few British army, a handful of Indian Army. At least there were corn snakes around; you relaxed when they were near, knowing that they wouldn't give you grief like those dressed in stars and stripes did. At least they wouldn't bite you for so much as looking their way.

It used to be a nice place, until it got packed with stars and stripes; it used to be a decent place, filled with decent people - now it was full of assholes who thought that glory was more important than decency. Victory more important than kindness. It used to be a nice place. Now, it was dirty and the smoking area was filled with rich boys puffing on vapes and talking in heavy American accents; they used to serve curries and chillies, used to serve proper food.

"Bloody yanks," you felt relief wash over you when Price joined you, his Scouse accent so thick and so comforting to hear. At least there was an adder to keep you safe amongst the rattlesnakes. "One of 'em kicked off at the bartender for charging him full price - thought he deserved a discount because of that stupid uniform."

You scoffed, leaning into his side and grumbling as you took your drink, the cool glass against your warm skin a reminder that you had been dragged to the worst place on the planet. "I did tell you that it wasn't a good idea to come here."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, chewing at the inside of his lip for a moment. "But it's a special occasion, innit?"

"Fuck our anniversary," you grumbled. "If we have to be surrounded by swine, I'd rather go somewhere else."

Price couldn't help but to laugh softly, putting his arm around you and humming softly. "They'll leave soon anyway, you know yanks can't hold their drinks - they'll be gone by the hour."

"That sounds like a bet," you mused. "Tenner on it?"

"Alright," he agreed with an absentminded smile, pulling you a little closer so that he could really feel you against him.

It really was a special occasion, five years together and counting; he was debating whether or not to ask you if you would sign a ketubah, if you would consider standing beneath a chuppah with him, but there was all the time in the world for that. He could wait, he just wanted to make the most of what you currently had together.

The wonderful adventures spent hiking up mountains, planning all the different places he wanted to take you; time had slipped through his fingers, he could have sworn it was only yesterday that he had taken you to Liverpool with him to meet his family. Introducing his beloved boyfriend to everyone he cared about was the best decision he ever made; he regretted not being able to freeze the moment.

He wanted to picture every second, frame it and display it on the mantle so that the only tricks time would pull on it would be the occasional line of dust on the frame; he regretted not being able to turn back time and just make it all stop for a few moments. Time slipped through his fingers more than he could think; he remembered bringing you to this pub when he first met you, on your second outing together.

Really, if he had anyone to thank for it, it was Gaz; you were old friends going back to secondary school, and Gaz had introduced you to Price when you came to the base for the day, planning on going to a concert with your old friend later on. Price still remembered that first day so fondly.

The way you absolutely took his breath away, how your smile was the very first thing he noticed; that was two years before you even started dating, building up a friendship before finally admitting you cared for one another. Price fell instantly, but the two years to admit it were more than worth the wait because now he had you against his side, and knew you would always be there.

"Do you still remember when we weren't dating, and you made me pretend to be your boyfriend?" You asked with a soft laugh.

"When we were at the Skindred concert?" He chuckled when you nodded. "All I said was that I want you to be mine tonight."

"And why was that?"

"Because a woman kept asking me to cop off with her," he snickered. "Even though I kept saying - I'm not attracted to women... but you did save my ass, pup."

"You saved mine a whole lot more," you pointed out. "How many times have creeps come up to me and you've put them in their place?"

"A lot more than once," he nodded, taking a quick look around before swiftly pulling you onto his lap with a sly smile. "But isn't that what I'm here for?"

You leaned into him, hooking your arms around his neck as you hummed ever so softly. "You've always been my knight in shining armour, John."

"And I always will be," he murmured, putting one hand at your lower back, fingers splayed as the other rested at the back of your neck, digging into your skin ever so wonderfully. "Do me a favour?"

"What?"

"Give us a kiss," he grinned, groaning softly when you crashed against him.

It was like the thousands and dozens of other kisses you had shared, so soft and so gently as he kept you as close as he could; he was rough enough as it was when he was working, he never wanted to be anything but gentle where you were concerned. You, his precious boyfriend, the only man he loved, the man he cherished and adored; the thought of being rough with you made his stomach churn.

Even when he took control and deepened the kiss, drawing a muffled laugh from you, he couldn't bring himself to be rough; tenderness was always Price's preferred method of making you smile and grin, especially when he was kissing you. You started to move, grabbing his hair with one hand, tugging at his shirt with the other; he shifted his hips, then broke away as he grinned.

"C'mon," he breathed out. "I need to see you in the smoking area."

You nodded eagerly, getting off of his lap and letting him grab your hand tightly as he lead you through the pub; the smoking area was dark, and when he pressed you against the cold wall, you barked out a sharp laugh.

"So," you tugged him closer by his shirt. "What's the plan?"

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ellecdc · 3 months

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Hi! spokenfolk here! Was contemplating on using my main (read: reblog) account or just sending an anon bc apparently you can't send asks on your secondary blog ?! Horrible. Preposterous. Absolutely frustrating! (Apparently, this has been a problem for years??? They should really optimize that. And can I really call it a main account when all I do on here is reblog??)

Opted for the latter because the experience of being seen is mortifying; self-cringe has still yet to perish on my end. 😭

Anyways.

CRYING. SEETHING. WRITHING LIKE A WORM! Literally jumped out of bed this morning to run to your blog the moment I got the notif and I would just like to say — Remus is such a LOSER!! (negative connotation to him, positive connotation to the quality of your writing) My heart reaches out for (Y/N) and Amelia Bones :( they both don't deserve whatever convoluted circus act Remus calls a masterplan. Really excited to see Moony's perspective on this 👀 hopefully soon?

Cheers,

— 🥞

p.s. 😭 I've realized that my blog can't be tagged because I haven't posted anything in it yet WAHAHAHA! I'll make a quick post for visibility's sake. Really sorry about that L!

Ugh spokenfolk, the mortifying ordeal of being known - I GET IT!!!!

Also, thank you for clarifying all of this for me??? I’m so new to tumblr so ppl asked to be on a tag list and I was like ???? Ok bet and I tried and it wouldn’t let me tag some people and I’m like??????????? I’m terrible at everything???? Why can’t I even just tag people in posts, the fuck???? GOOD TO KNOW!!!

Also right? Poor stupid remus I just had to take a break from writing cuz the bastard was pissing me off so much. Part of me sort of thought our reader wouldn’t be offended when she inevitably found out about this but everyone is ready for some reader angst! What do we think? Does our whimsical!reader get her feelings hurt because of our resident dumbass?

I know remus thinks/believes he’s doing the right thing, but if even SIRIUS is like “ew dude, cringe”, somethings not right.

I tried to break up the angst with Peter and James and I laughed at my own writing (embarrassing) so hopefully y’all enjoyed the comedic relief too 💖

#ask elle #elle chats #marauders era #remus is a man with a plan #remus lupin angst

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torchickentacos · 1 year

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i love seeing your long tags they make me so happy. and YOU SHOULD DO THE ALBUMS THING. IF NOBODY ELSE GOT YOU I GOT YOU. GIVE DREW HIS REPUTATION ERA

THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH!!! I'm so glad people like my tags, sometimes I worry I'm too long-winded, or that I get too off-topic, so it's nice hearing that people like my train of thoughts! ALSO THE ALBUM THING!!!!! I WILL!!! IN FACT I SHALL DO IT RIGHT HERE! under the cut! talking abt taylor swift songs and lyrics and blorbos, if that's not your vibe feel free to scroll <3 /genuine, not sarcastic or shady or anything!!! I'll just see you around later, blondie isn't for everyone! So, pokeani specific characters as taylor swift eras/albums! Long. Like, really long even for me, this is just a pure infodump. Reblogs/comments with further discussion ENCOURAGED!!!!! I love talking to you guys lol, feel free to open this to your own favorite artists too. Kind of a random selection of characters.

OKAY LET'S GO!!! First off, I think that Dawn has always had a 1989 vibe to me. 1989 is sonically one of my lesser favorites honestly, but I think it's intriguing because it's this super poppy, mainstream hit after hit album but it's also just so deeply... unsure, in some ways. You've got shake it off and blank space, pop hits but also hits that are very acutely self-deprecating in the way that they try to come off as unbothered. It's parody but at her own expense, making fun of her own image and portrayal. Dawn is very bright and cheery but is also this very self-unsure, nervous individual in my interpretation of her and I think that parallels nicely. We open with welcome to new york, which makes me think of Dawn's contest debut! Dawn was very intentional in becoming a coordinator, rather than May who kind of stumbled into it. "Everybody here wanted something more" just makes me think of her ambition. So: Dawn, 1989. Big debut into her profession (pop debut, contests), very self-aware but tries to brush it off, but still a very bright and fun person.

Gary: does monologue song count LMAO. Joking, I think Red. Upbeat and loud and self-assured at first (22, I knew you were trouble), but you dive down deep and see that the seemingly shallow pool is actually a huge ocean of a character/album that will stand long beyond its time and cement itself as a fan favorite. I think Holy Ground really fits him, though I cannot for the life of me explain why. However, the cockiness /affectionate of I Bet You Think About Me fits him SO WELL!!! Also. "I'll be summer sun for you, forever".

Misty: Debut. Classic, the OG, might burn your house down, unhinged teenage girl energy. Hates that STUPID OLD PICKUP TRUCK YOU NEVER LET HER DRIVE. She's energetic, loud, and a trailblazer for all the albums and pokegirls to come. Starting off with a BANG and a banjo. Not much else to say, just pure iconic energy (but with a soft side!!! secretly a HUGE romantic).

Drew: Okay, a weird one. I almost went Evermore (introspective to almost a fault, way too in his own head, a dreamer in his own way and a timeless romantic) but ultimately I think my interpretation of Drew is just SO reputation. Cold on the outside, but the most romantic, soft interior once you get to know him. Drew also is a famous coordinator and has his own fan club (in canon, consisting of moms who have merch of him for... some reason, which. shoutout to the discord friends that have dubbed it the milf club- or was that my fault???? that might have been a taylorism [me taylor lol, not swift taylor]) BUT ANYWAYS Rep explores themes of finding love in crowed places which I tend to lean into in contestshipping fics and ideas, themes of avoiding fame and finding that balance of letting people in versus shutting them out. Also, you either love him or hate him, I've noticed, much like reputation. He comes off a bit offputting at first and people tend to write him off as annoying before they get to know him (cough, first tracks of rep are not at all indicative of rep as a whole BUT FUCKING SLAP ONCE YOU GET THE VIBES!) Also because I will defend both of them until death.

May: I was stuck between a LOT for my favorite girlie. I know you have her as lover which is SO PERFECT but i think anime may specifically feels very fearless/speak now. I went with Fearless, but it could go either way with a brief shoutout to Red who almost made it. Fearless is kind of in her own little world, lost in thought, a dreamer who is still figuring it all out. But like May, Fearless has some spunk, too! I think specifically Tell Me Why reminds me a LOT of May and Harley's rivalry. "You took a swing, I took it hard, and down here from the ground I see who you are". Minus the romantic part of it, it reminds me SO SO SO much of Harley's supportive act and then turning on her, back and forth. Fearless is naive, and so is May. "And I know that you see what you're doing to me- tell me why!" I think ultimately though, Fearless is finding her way. Fearless is in new territory, making her own path as a dreamer and an optimist. Also, just entirely nostalgic. I saw Fearless in concert as a kid and May has always been my favorite, just very nostalgic for me for both of them.

Iris: Speak Now! Spunky. A little outta pocket. Would probably call you out for marrying a shitty person in the middle of your own damn wedding. Purple. I still don't have an amazing grasp on Iris, but Speak Now is THAT BITCH who SPEAKS HER MIND whether it's THE TIME FOR IT OR NOT and I think that feels very Iris to me in the best way. Iris is not afraid, she's here to be heard, but she's also just. soft. baby. friend.

Paul: Okay, weird one here. Paul has... issues. Problems. I think that in an ideal world we get a paul redemption and he was written a bit differently, and I think that Paul could have his Midnights era, very retrospective and kind of looking at things that went wrong in the past and figuring out how to move on from that. Not an album or Taylor, technically, but Renegade by Big Red Machine ft. TS fits, I think. "Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these? Let all your damage damage me? Carry your baggage up my street?" The ultimate song of 'hey, maybe deal with your issues please so I can make you the blorbo I want you to be'. /joking but also not really. Quite literally, "is it insensitive of me to say, get your shit together so I can love you?"

Tracey: Folklore. Soft, gentle, would comfort me while I'm crying at 2 am, would bake cookies with me. Simple as that. "When I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite". I stand by Folklore and Evermore being the albums for people who think they don't like Taylor Swift btw, random side note. I think also, Tracey has this bright imagery with his art, and so does Folklore. Folklore is a very imagery-driven album in its lyrics. It's evocative- I think the biggest examples of this are Invisible String, Illicit Affairs, and Hoax. I'll just close my eyes to those songs and let my mind wander off... which, admittedly, also happens during some orange islands/johto episodes and most of the diancie movie, but you know what I mean lol. They're still a GREAT vibe.

#thank you!!!!!!#ask #asks #friends and mutuals tag #taylor talks about taylor #i've never gotten much use out of that tag so you BET i'm using it now #taylor's tag #taylor swift #deadass in elementary school i liked her music and kids asked me if i changed my name or was named after her.#like. jennifer she was uhhh like 12 when i was born. what do you think /lh #nvm she was. thirteen lmfaooooooooo #of course she was thirteen sljkdhfgjksdkjhfgvnxghjk #when i was born. on the thirteenth. she was. thirteen.#born on the thirteenth. named taylor. family with a christmas tree farm. nickel meme here #if i had a nickel yadda yadda

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marypsue · 2 years

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I’m giving s4 another shot because my watch buddies wanted to, and I’ll admit that now that I’m over the hurdle of that initial shot across my bows, I’m not as bitter towards it as I was. (Although I’m 110% certain that’s going to change the instant Brenner shows his bastard face onscreen again. Let me hate his stupid guts in peace.)

I do want to keep a record of my thoughts, but I will also be putting them behind a cut, for reason of them containing a sprinkling of praise but heaps and piles and pillars of salt. Please skip this post if you don’t want to see negativity.

I don’t really want to tag this because I don’t want to put my salt in the fandom tag, but if somebody wants it tagged so they can block it, please let me know! Because I will be reblogging and adding to this post as I go through the season.

As of the end of episode 2:

You can really, really tell that the Duffers want to be done with this and move on to other projects, and I kind of wish they would. I would rather they make something new they’re excited about, focusing on a new cast of characters, than keep making decisions I hate with the crew I got attached to.

It really tells you everything you need to know that they snuck a ‘Rick Sanchez’ into the list of Ricks in the Family Video computer system.

I will admit that, after he ate the fandom whole, I did not want to like Eddie. However. Okay. I get it. And for some reason, past his initial cringeworthy appearance, the over-the-top overdramatics do sorta work for him and are not merely extremely irritating (I am looking directly at Murray, here).

(Maybe because there’s an element of self-awareness and self-deprecation that is sadly missing from the ‘big loud annoying quote-unquote comic relief’ characters the Duffers have tried to bring in? This may be a function of the performance rather than the writing.)

Anyway. This is dangerous theatre-kid propaganda and will lead me to think people actually find those kinds of loud clownish antics endearing. And then. It’s a slippery slope.

Speaking of Eddie, I just recently finished reading Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart Is A Chainsaw, and I haven’t yet fully finished synthesizing my thoughts about that laid alongside the Eddie plot but you bet I’m having some. Will report back with new developments as they arise.

(At the moment, the thought in its entirety is ‘oh so one or more of the Duffers have read this book, huh’.)

(Listen, among all the other, bigger, more conceptual things that are more likely to be coincidentally similar, dramatically broken jaws figure prominently in both. I am just saying.)

(Everybody who got attached to Eddie and/or Chrissy and/or wanted a happy(er) ending AU for them, please go read My Heart Is A Chainsaw. And stan Jade Daniels and Letha Mondragon. Please. I am 99% certain you’ll love them. Also I looked on AO3 and there is no fic for this book, and I don’t want to have to write everything I want to read myself.)

I do have to give the s4 team props for finding a way to put a tabletop game on film like it’s championship sportsball.

I also really liked the callback to Benny’s. A lot of the flashbacks and callbacks are coming across very like that one post said, how early Jurassic Park was about something but later Jurassic Park is about Jurassic Park, and early Stranger Things was about something but later Stranger Things is about Stranger Things, but Benny’s in particular I liked. Please do not ask me to elaborate on the difference.

(Something something, retreading familiar ground vs seeing how time and change has affected the familiar/going away and coming back is not the same as never leaving? I don’t know, I’ll stew on it.)

They’re really wearing their inspirations on their sleeves for this one, huh. Apparently recreating classic movie scenes shot-for-shot was too subtle? Now they have to namedrop Michael Myers, and wave a cardboard cutout of Freddy’s knife-glove in our faces, so we don’t blink and miss what’s happening with the killer nightmare sequences? Also love those Deadite eyes. Can’t beat a classic, I guess, although you can always piggyback off of one.

(I am also just going to come out and say it, because I can’t be the only person who’s thought it. If ‘pretty innocent white woman dies of being invisibly pinned to a ceiling by a demon, kicking off a monster hunt which eventually involves eye-stealing death delivered via invisible undead monster to people with guilty secrets which appear to involve feeling responsibility for a death, if I’m not totally out to lunch about a pretty cheerleader puking in a toilet and having trauma associated with gaining weight being shorthand for One Thing in TV-land’ is not cribbing directly from the Supernatural episode ‘Bloody Mary’, I will eat my hat.)

(And the possibility that the show is referencing Supernatural while in the middle of going full Supernatural is absolutely exquisite.)

I had really high hopes for Max and Lucas’ relationship to be a focal point in this season after that super sweet scene in e1 but?? where is it? Because I haven’t seen any more of it, and it was the one thing that episode offered me that I thought was worth watching more for.

I have been tenderness-baited.

On a slightly more serious note jumping off from that dumb joke, I am never going to stop being pissed off that the Duffers appear to think there is exactly one story for queer characters/people, and it is misery, tragedy, and isolation (unless Joe Keery and Maya Hawke are standing behind them with a gun). With that in mind, I get that this fandom skews young and their experiences are therefore Very Different than mine, but...the idea that it’s some kind of Important Representational Milestone to take a character who has canonically been the butt of vicious homophobic bullying from season 1 on, and whose friends have been rejecting and abandoning him for the last few seasons, and has zero positive associations and multiple negative ones with queerness, and make him Canon Binary Gay, and that if another fan has any kind of problem with that then that fan is the problem and not, say, the showrunners who think that being gay means everything sucks and you’re alone and then you die and that’s just how the world works so get used to it? That sucks. That sucks a fucking fat one, and I wish more fans would stop and think about it for a minute before getting up in arms.

And I’m not giving the dufflebags any fucking Representation Points or whatever for this half-baked mess they’ve cooked up. This shit is just gonna give me salmonella.

I know (though I’m still disappointed) that Kali’s not going to show up again. Because if she did, she would take one look at the El plot and go ‘yeah of course you’re not a monster, every last one of those bitches had it coming’ and she would be right and then the whole business would be over and they’d have to find something else to fill that time.

Like. I genuinely can’t tell if they actually want me to be conflicted about El’s use of force? They went out of their way to show how all her nonviolent options - talk to a responsible adult, try to reason with the bully, etc - were exhausted? Am I actually supposed to be horrified and questioning whether she’s a monster? Because at the moment all I’m getting is that that Angela bitch missed the memo on ‘talk shit, get hit’, and that a bunch of kidnappers and child abusers got murdered by a child they kidnapped and abused, and I literally don’t see the problem here. I do not have either the time or inclination to sit through endless fingerpointing about what a mOoOoOnster El is for taking the violent option when she didn’t have any others.

(Especially after season 1. Jesus.)

(Mike: Yeah it was so cool when El broke Troy’s arm and saved my life! El: Yeah, like when I hit this girl who’s been viciously tormenting me for the last nine months in the face. Mike: Sorry, you WHAT? El: Oh this is not a safe space suddenly?)

(I’m actually just going to have to spend the rest of the season daydreaming about Kali showing up and murdering everybody to death, aren’t I.)

(I did call it about that plotline, though.)

Everything about the Russia plot is exactly as bone-stupid as I’d feared. Poor Winona is doing the absolute most with the material she’s been given, it is not her fault.

But you cannot mail a package from the USSR to California in 1986.

And I still cannot fucking stand Murray.

That’s not how torture works.

No, seriously, that’s not how torture works. Murray, loath as I am to say it, is right. And the fact that they’ve got him in there paying lip service to the fact that people will eventually say literally anything under torture, people will LIE to make the torture stop happening, this is WHY confessions obtained under conditions of torture are inadmissible in a court of law, it is not something you can just shrug off if you’re cool or badass or pure-of-heart enough, that is why they call it TORTURE and then they still walked out that tired old trope about ‘oh but if you’re a Good Guy and you’re Strong you won’t break under -’ fuck off with that. Can we please come back from Cold War Action Flick La La Land for five minutes.

I’d even maybe almost be willing to let it go as genre convention, except for the fact that somehow season 1 got it right! I’d almost say the show is suffering from Anne Rice Editor Syndrome, except for the fact that there are so many more people involved in making a TV show. So. How????

Speaking of which.

Once upon a season 1, the Upside Down was, like, a place. A place that was foreign, alien, scary-looking, and largely unfathomable, yes. But it seemed like a world that could exist almost independently from, if interconnected with, our own. It wasn’t well fleshed-out and most of it was stolen from Alien, yes, but it was clearly implied that it had its own shit going on beyond just being ~creepy~ and ~evil~.

(And wet. But that’s beside the point.)

And once upon a season 1, the monster that came out of the Upside Down was an animal, with a simple, incontrovertible, unstoppable motivation: hunger.

Once upon a season 1, the governments of the world didn’t fixate on Our Heroes, and were more than willing to make them disappear if they got in the way.

Once upon a season 1, the antagonists of this show had internally consistent motivations that didn’t revolve entirely around making life difficult for Our Heroes. The antagonists didn’t care that much about Our Heroes, and it was fucking chilling.

Once upon a season 1, it felt like there was a whole world outside of and around Our Heroes, a real world, that would and could go on without them. Our Heroes felt insignificant, in a way that made their fear and weakness - and their courage and strength - seem all the more real and all the more important. And made it actually seem threatening when their lives and the lives of those they loved were put in danger.

Now Our Heroes are all decked out in plot armour, and the Upside Down is, like, Hell or something and its sole purpose in existence is to cause suffering on this side of things, and the antagonists are cardboard cutouts that only exist to cause trouble for Our Heroes (but not more trouble than they can handle!) because they’re borderline obsessed with Our Heroes, and everything is neatly cut and dried between Good and Evil, and I’m bored.

God, I miss season 1.

Whyyyyy does all the non-supernatural ‘humour’ and drama revolve entirely around aggressively and repeatedly humiliating the characters I came here for. I am in agony.

And I also still can’t handle the costuming.

#also the hair. why does everybody's hair look like they've been washing it in saltwaterand then blowdrying it for the last nine months #is it because hair and costuming are unionized. tell the truth is it because hair and costuming are unionized #thirty mil per episode and they couldn't spring for a little dippity do #anyway eddie munson fans PLEASE read my heart is a chainsaw i will not shut up about this until you all meet jade daniels #yes yes I know I have so much criticism why would you take a recommendation from me: it's because I actually despite myself like your boy #and also I hold no hate in my heart for my fellow fans and I do want y'all to be happy #and ALSO i want someone to come scream with me about how awesome jade is

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