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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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somestansomewhere · 3 years

Text

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

#frank gallagher #season 11 #shameless season 11 #shameless #gallavich #dementia #my lists

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simptasia · 4 years

Text

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

#lost #charthann #missinglost #(i don't wanna lose this so i tagged you guys)#i've made a list like this before but i wanna go into detail #and before i knew it i made an incredible essay #lost headcanons #most of this is based on canon but as i said there is extrapolation at play #and i mention some headcanons along the way when i felt it was needed #gosh this became a whole Thing #i hope y'all enjoy it!#and this isn't counting ppl i headcanon as ND #like jack being autistic or charlie having HPD #i could go into that too

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laemony · 3 years

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What I’ve read in 2020!

Welcome back to this thing I started in 2017 and still don’t know WHY it should matter!

2017 2018 2019

This year has been a shit show but I must admit I’ve read quite a lot (who knew that staying at home with nothing else to do, except watching the world burn, could lead to this?!) Anyway! This is it, enjoy!

WAR AND PEACE, L. TOLSTOY – biggest book I’ve ever read in my life, I don’t know how but it’s never boring, I loved the characters and I adored the historical knowledge; the two subjects mix, when people are at war they miss peace, and when they are at peace they miss and look for war; it’s full of time skips in a very Russian fashion… only thing it bothered me, in my edition at least, all the paragraphs written in French didn’t have a translation, I hope I didn’t lose too many infos lol 8,5/10

PERSUASION, J. AUSTEN – this book! A surprise, a revelation, a discovery! Brilliant! Funny! Lovely! Anne’s expressions of her family are hilarious; one of my favourites so far, even if “lost love who is not as forgotten as you thought they would be” sounds way too much like the story of my life 10/10

THE YEARS, V. WOOLF – it felt lonely, yet lively; a bit hopeless, but not too sad; the chatter, the teasing, is all very familiar, as if she wrote about my own family; simple in its day-to-day life; felt like autumn (if it makes sense????) 8/10

THE DEAD SOULS, N. GOGOL – ridiculous characters, ridiculous conversations, I loved the ironic way it depicts Russian society and its people; the last chapter is a mess, I couldn’t imagine how it could end and to be honest I still have no idea 7,5/10

THE PROCESS, F. KAFKA – no time-line; not a single emotion, not from the characters neither from the author; a cold, indifferent depiction of a series of facts, which are everything but clear; not an inch of silence, just words; it tired me out, I just needed a bit more silence 5/10

THE WHITE GUARD, M. BULGAKOV – I simply love how he writes (wrote??) and his characters are always so unique and interesting; I adore the references to Tolstoy and Dostoevskij; this book has more of a painting than a book; it’s an impressive recount of a fundamental historical moment; the end is not clear but beautiful 9,5/10

THE HANDMAID’S TALE, M. ATWOOD – I thought I wouldn’t have been able to stomach it, and then I found out that there’s a right way to tell a story about violence and she mastered it; cruel people are just that, no craziness, no dark past, just thirst for power and the confidence of knowing what’s best for everyone; it gave me chills, it made me angry; I love how she writes, it’s the first time a first person pov doesn’t make me want to tear my eyes off my face… people who watched the series: do you know what’s the real name of Offred? I need it 10/10

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, J. AUSTEN – as usual, her books must be read in one breath; Jane and Charles’ story is my favourite; I love Mr Bennet as much as I can’t suffer everyone’s sisters (except Miss Darcy of course); it has an amazing mix of characters, I absolutely love the drama that follows Mr Darcy; I honestly expected a more dramatic confession at the end but it was great 9/10

NOTES FROM A DEATH HOUSE, F. DOSTOEVSKY – a bit too auto-biographic for my tastes, but I adored his depiction of a humanity which is often forgotten; it’s very disturbing in its actuality if you stop to think about it; he never tires himself saying that those “criminals” are also and foremost human beings 7,5/10

ASYLUM, P. MCGRATH – the first part is fast-paced, it leaves you breathless and with an anxious need to keep on reading; then it started to be a little more psychological and it kinda bored me; I liked the narrator very much, it was really disturbing 7,5/10

DOCTOR ZIVAGO, B. PASTERNAK – every Russian book I’ve read gave me a glimpse of Russian history and culture, yet they’re all different and I think that’s often underappreciated. Now, this book. This book is, simply put, breath-taking. The landscapes are immense and colourful, the talent of this man is unparalleled; it has a devastating end, it’s a book I’ll probably read over and over again just ‘cause reading it is “such a sweet sorrow” 10/10 (this rec is shorter than what it should have been in my mind, but I’d probably end up talking about this book and only this book so that’s it, it’s called self-control)

EMMA, J. AUSTEN – at first I was annoyed by Emma’s character, but then she proved herself so oblivious it started to become pretty funny; I can’t get over how much people talk in this book, the irony is SO on point, I love it; I probably like it more than Persuasion, because there are so many twists that the ending left me really surprised for once. And let me tell you, Jane Austen is THE BEST at depicting insufferable people 10/10

UNO, NESSUNO, E CENTOMILA, L. PIRANDELLO – look at me, reading Italian literature, world must be ending… to be honest? I don’t remember much of it? And I didn’t take notes as I usually do? I must’ve been bored out of my mind… I’ll give it a 6/10 on trust alone because I know Pirandello is great lol

HIS DARK MATERIALS, P. PULLMAN – finally got to this and it left me pretty confused; the first book is great, I loved the characters and the scenery, but in the other two I felt like too many things were left unexplained and Lyra’s character too lost some of its greatness; the end brought very little clarity, if at all, and of course I hated it with a passion; I don’t think he expressed the maximum potential of the world he built, but I liked it alright 7,5/10

1984, G. ORWELL – saying I was disappointed might be an understatement; I like how it’s written but the story in itself is frustrating, frankly boring, and disappointing, especially the end; you don’t build so much tension just to end it like that! Tho, maybe that’s exactly what he wanted to convey; everything is pretty much hopeless, made me angry 7/10

CARRIE, S. KING – first of his book I’ve ever read, AND I LOVED IT; it’s not a style I like very much, letting us know how it will end since the beginning, but it was great, magnificent, empowering; I don’t know if I’ll ever have the patience to read the others (they’re all so big) but this certainly got me curious 9/10

JACOB’S ROOM, V. WOOLF – confusing, very confusing, more confusing than anything of hers; of course it’s very beautifully written, but I have no idea what happened there 6,5 maybe 7/10?

THE WITCH, S. JACKSON – my personal Halloween challenge begins with this; short, CREEPY, VERY CREEPY, to the point (what point?); absolutely loved it 8/10

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, S. JACKSON – listen, creepy houses are my jam, they’re the best; my first impression of the characters went like this: they’re all batshit crazy, I love them; it honestly gave me nightmares; I wish I would’ve read it in English tho 8/10

THE ABC MURDERS, A. CHRISTIE – the queen of plot-twists herself, she never disappoints; not my favourite, mind you, but it was great how she built the story of the murderer just to… well, you’ll have to read it 7,5/10

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER, E. A. POE – I love when short stories such as this leave so much space around them to build whatever plot your imagination can come up with; it’s great, even left like it is 8/10

THE PENELOPIAD, M. ATWOOD – whatever guys, this woman has the ability to write the worst things in such a delicate way simply out of this world; I ADORE HER 9/10

THE UNCOMMON READER, A. BENNETT – hilarious from start to finish, kinda frustrating in the way only royal etiquette can be; I love how the Queen relates to others and I adored her inner monologue; the end is brilliant and the whole book (more or less 100 pages) feels like a breath of fresh air 8/10

THEATRE

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS, W. SHAKESPEARE – funny, brilliant, it became one of my favourite comedies (and there aren’t many of them) 8/10

CYMBELINE, W. SHAKESPEARE – nice little thing, with all the ingredients of a tragedy but with a happy ending; for a moment I thought it would end in a King Lear’s way, glad it didn’t 7,5/10

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW, W. SHAKESPEARE – the first of Shakespeare’s plays that I didn’t like at all, and I think the reasons are pretty clear to whoever has read it; it kinda felt “out of character” for him, but maybe I’m just an ignorant 4/10

POETRY and LETTERS

ARIEL, S. PLATH – raw, powerful, sad, everything I expected of it, I also have the best edition ever, she’s great 8/10

POEMS FROM THE MOOR, E. BRONTE – the talent, the power of this woman; I’ll cry the loss of the Gondal’s saga for the rest of my life 8/10

LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET, R. M. RILKE – amazing, the thins this man could write even in such a trivial thing as a letter, I love him 10/10

MARINA CVETAEVA – I must admit, I like her prose better than her poetry; her letters are heart breaking yet so full of enthusiasm you can’t help but feel for her; also, she loves Boris as much as I do, her letters to him are my favourite thing in the world 9/10

BORIS PASTERNAK – this man was the best present this year could give me, do yourself a favour and go read him 10/10

SPECIAL MENTION: THE SECRET HISTORY, D. TARTT – I may have a problem with her books, but I’ve started this in January and never got the patience to finish it; chapters WAY too long, characters that are so insufferable they can’t be real; pretentious, boring… I can’t give it a rating because I didn’t finish it and I’m not a monster, but the bar is very low

This is it I guess! I hope I gave you a little bit of entertainment, this is something I usually do for myself but I’m glad to share with you every year. I wish you a better end of 2020 than the whole, stay strong and stay safe! A virtual hug to everyone 💚💚💚

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mallorytaylorblog · 4 years

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Suffering.

25th October 2020.

What does the word suffering mean? When I looked it up in the dictionary, I got a few different definitions.

“The condition of one who suffers.”

“An instance of pain and distress.”

“The bearing of pain, inconvenience, or loss.”

Based on those definitions alone I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced suffering at one point in our lives. We could even be suffering now - I know for me, living in Melbourne, suffering is a much talked about topic and everyone has a totally different and individual experience to convey.

In the context of mental wellness, I think suffering is a really interesting topic to ponder.

There are two truths that I believe are guaranteed about suffering.

1) suffering is inevitable, and 2) suffering is a choice.

If feels contradictory but I think these two truths are actually complimentary in nature.

One thing I find interesting about suffering is that it often manifests itself as a mental and emotional affliction - sure we can be physically in pain, but when I think of suffering I think less of things like injuries, which can be acute and are fairly simple to overcome. I think of suffering in the 21st century as things like ruminating over a situation or interaction over and over again, replaying the same scene thinking about all the things you can have said or done differently in the moment. It’s things like mulling over a heart break, it’s the embarrassing moments that get seared into your brain, ready for reliving every night just as your about to fall asleep. In my opinion, it’s human nature to wonder, “What if?” because as a species we’re wired to hope for better. We’re driven by love, acceptance and belonging so when things don’t go to plan we can get stuck in a trap of letting the wheel spin over and over in the same spot. It doesn’t get us anywhere and only serves to hurt us further, keeping us trapped in a moment in time reliving something that we cannot change.

It’s the meaning we assign to things that causes us to mentally and emotionally suffer. Nothing is permanent yet we suffer when we are afflicted with things like loss and heartbreak. They may not cause us physical pain, but the mental and emotional effects of such events can last well after the event has occurred.

I suffered a lot as a child. I was bullied a lot, I felt neglected at home, I struggled to communicate my emotions and felt rejected and unloved. I had this yucky story about having to earn love, like I wasn’t worthy of it just for being me. So I suffered with having to feel like I needed to put on a facade or change who I was in order to be accepted. I was diagnosed with depression at age 12 and took anti-depressants for years, so I suffered with that. I had eating disorders for nearly two decades, so my relationship with my body and with food and exercise suffered a lot. I felt forgotten in my family, I punished myself for things that weren’t my fault, and I felt a lot of pain and anxiety as a kid that translated to my story as an adult. None of my physical injuries as a kid affected me long term growing up, but the meaning I assigned to the events that hurt me mentally and emotionally created the beliefs and stories I subscribed to as a kid and as an adult.

One thing I think is important to remember when talking about suffering is that pain is relative. No one has authority to tell someone that what they’re enduring is worthy of suffering, only the individual gets to decide that. I grew up an angry, sad, confused and heart broken kid, but in the eyes of another person, I had a family of four older siblings and two parents who loved me, I had a roof over my head, I went to a nice school. I had a hot meal to eat every night and I had a comfy bed to sleep in. If suffering is a mostly mental and emotional affliction, it’s handy to remember that regardless of outward appearances everyone has endured different degrees of suffering. We have all been through something that has changed us.

Which brings me to the first truth.

Suffering is inevitable.

We’re always going to find situations, events, people, things that make us hurt. To me, it’s human nature to be kind and loving. If we’re open to love, and it is our human nature to love and be loved, then it’s also in our nature to be hurt and to suffer. We’re compassionate and kind by nature and we hope for the best for each other and ourselves. Of course we’re going to suffer, we’re constantly aiming high when it comes to our experience of life, and as we know life doesn’t always deliver exactly what we expect.

I believe only those who are hurting hurt other people. It doesn’t feel good to hurt another person, unless we’re already suffering in some way. To me, the term “hurt people hurt people” tells us we need to be more compassionate and less judgemental. If we knew the pain others were suffering we may not be so quick to persecute or condemn. Perhaps we’d be more inclined to understand. We all live such unique and different experiences, but our nature is to love and be loved. That however opens us up to the vulnerability of heart break and rejection. It’s the duality of life - where there is pleasure, there is pain. Where the is a win, there is a lesson. Where there is rain there is a rainbow. We’re a pleasure seeking species so, as the balance of life dictates, as above so below, where we seek pleasure we also seek suffering. It’s a part of the human condition.

I mentioned before that the meaning that we assign to things is what ends up causing us mental and emotional suffering. We experience something, we decide what that experience means for us, and then we continue living our lives with another lens through which to view our world. A lot of the time it’s the stories we write for ourselves that determine how much or how long we suffer.

So if the first truth is “suffering is inevitable” and the second is “suffering is a choice’, how is it that they’re complimentary?

Well yes, we all experience mental and emotional anguish at some point of our lives, it’s absolutely unavoidable. That anguish however can either be used to write an empowering story, or a disempowering one. This is the meaning that we assign to events and, even though it may not seem like it at the time, we always have a choice in how we suffer. We get to choose the meaning we assign.

I was diagnosed with depression when I twelve years of age. That’s a young age to be battling a mental illness. That diagnosis changed the way I viewed myself, it added another lens to the way in which I processed and viewed my world. My story for a long time was that I was broken and unworthy of love. My mental illness diagnosis was the foundation to that story, it was the proof that supported that belief. There was nothing physically wrong about me, I was just a little kid who wanted more than my parents could give me. But the fact that my mother took me to the doctor, who then told us that I had ABC diagnosis and that these pills were the “fix”. told me that Mallory = Broken. My belief that I was unlovable just the way I was, was emboldened by that event. And I suffered for decades after that because the meaning I assigned to that event was that I was a burden to my mother. That’s heavy for any kid to suffer. As an adult, this belief manifested itself in many ways. I suffered relationships that didn’t work out due to my lack of self worth, I suffered estrangement from my mother and siblings, I suffered despair and loneliness like you wouldn’t believe, and I suffered a relationship with myself that was without love and acceptance (all the things I outwardly craved the most). The meaning I assigned to the doctor’s visit that day built a wall around my heart that prevented anything that didn’t support the “Broken Mallory” narrative from coming in.

That started at age 12. I’m 31 now. And every now and then you just get tired of your own shit. Can anyone relate to this?

I got tired of suffering that belief.

I got tired of seeing others out there living their lives to the max while I felt weighed down by this bullshit story that kept me suffering and in pain for so long.

I couldn't choose my parents. I couldn’t choose the way they decided to love me. The one thing I could choose, however, was the story. I could choose to assign a different meaning to the things that hurt me as a kid. I could choose to look at the belief that I’m broken and unlovable, and say “This isn’t working for you any more, Mallory. Time to switch it up”.

Perspective is helpful when it comes to choosing what you suffer. Delicately balancing the validation and acknowledgement of your pain, and looking outside of your bubble for examples where there is hope to be gained is a necessary life skill I believe. It takes a lot of practice, especially if you’re like me and never felt like your pain was valid or worthy of acknowledgement. It helps to know that yes you’ve got it bad, but you’ve also got it pretty good, to shift the way you view things.

For me, that looked like deciding that my mum was taking me to the doctor because she loved and cared about me, and wanted the best for me. She did the best with what she knew. Viewing the event through that lens changed everything about the meaning I had assigned to that day. I wasn’t a burden she didn’t know how to deal with, she was caring for me the best way she knew how.

So yes, in the context of mental wellness suffering is inevitable, but it’s also most definitely a choice. It’s choosing to enjoy all the fruits whilst being okay with some weeds, and not letting the weeds overcome our gardens.

We can choose to see things through a different lens.

For me, the broken and unlovable story become a story about the power of emotional vulnerability, and how opening yourself up to the world only encourages the world to meet you half way. You only get out what you put in, and if choosing to stay stuck in your pain only encourages more pain, then it’s up to us to choose a different meaning for ourselves.

So how do you do that? How do you choose another meaning? When I’m experiencing some sort of mental or emotional pain, I ask myself “What do you need right now in this moment?” and give myself permission to do what’s most soothing and enjoyable in order for me to lift my spirits. So the first step is acknowledging the pain, giving yourself permission to feel it without judgement, then getting back to equilibrium. Then when I’m feeling more grounded, I can examine my emotions to look for the story underneath it, to find the meaning I have assigned to the event that created the belief.

Once you get to the root of the belief, you can explore other ways of viewing the event. Remember compassion and kindness is our human nature, so where can we bring this lens into view?

This is the sort of stuff that working with a coach can be greatly assisted by. It takes practice to dive into our pain and reinterpret what it means for us, and having someone to guide you through the work to begin with, before it becomes habitual, can get you off on the right foot.

Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search For Meaning, says, “This is the core of the human spirit. If we can find something to live for - if we can find some meaning to put at the centre of our lives - even the worse kind of suffering becomes bearable”.

So with that in mind, I have three questions for you to ponder. Preferably while you’re journaling on the scenarios or people you’re suffering over.

So what meaning are you choosing? What stories are you writing for yourself? Which lens do you choose to view the world through?

#mental health #suffering #mental wellbeing #mindset #mindset coach #spirituality #spiritual awakening #spirit guides #the m word blog #positive affirmations #inner child healing #deep dive #shadow work #depression #confidence

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mostfacinorous · 4 years

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GO Whumptober Day 20: Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore... [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19]

They’d been on a stroll, like so many others, around the lake in St. James’, when it happened.

It wasn’t the first time, exactly; Aziraphale knew of several other accounts, most of them dismissed as fiction or poppycock, but it had never happened to him before, and, judging by Crowley’s alarmed sounding squawk, which he would certainly not admit to emitting, later-- he was surprised as well.

One moment, they had been in present day, Aziraphale’s hand in a bag of crumbs, on the lookout for any hungry or friendly looking wildlife, the next, they had taken a step forward and found themselves in a populated square, the grounds paved in wood and stone and dirt, the people decidedly confused by their appearances.

“Well!” Aziraphale exclaimed, albeit under his breath.

Crowley took a step backwards, as though he expected to be able to reverse his way into the future.

For the place they were was instantly familiar; they’d been here, only not for hundreds of years. Well, they’d been here the entire time, but the when was hundreds of years prior to the moment they’d just been in.

Aziraphale couldn’t explain how he could tell. It was like a taste, almost. The Earth hadn’t aged yet. He couldn’t pin down the exact year, but the vintage was younger than the one he was used to.

“It’s so long ago!” Aziraphale said, then clapped delightedly, bouncing on his toes. “Oh, Crowley, our own Moberly-Jourdain incident! Oh, we shall call it the Crowley-Fell Adventure.”

“Aziraphale.” Crowley said, and Aziraphale huffed.

“Well it sounds better in alphabetical order, but if you insist we can call it the Fell-Crowley Incident. It does have a certain ring to it.”

“Aziraphale, one- Crowley-Fell sounds better, yeah. Two, you can’t write about this at all, we’re keeping a low profile, and three, which side do you suppose is responsible for this, and why do they want us now instead of back home?”

That did serve to deflate Aziraphale’s glee a bit.

“Well.” He said. “I suppose perhaps to make a point. They mightn’t have succeeded in their hopes of killing us or forcing me to fall, but they still have power over our lives.”

“Right. But why now, of all times? And when is now, anyway?”

Aziraphale shrugged. “I imagine it was Heaven’s doing. They can’t conceive of a worse time than a dirty one. Let’s just hope we’ve landed between plagues.”

Aziraphale looked around.

“Pardon me,” He said to the first person he saw who didn’t avert their eyes and hurry past. It was a boy, probably close to being thought of as a man in these days, likely only beginning to breach teen-hood.

“Milord?” The boy asked, eyeing his clothing uncomfortably and doing a half bob of a bow, clearly unsure what to make of him.

“Oh none of that,” Aziraphale said, waving off the formality. “My apologies, I think we’ve gotten a little lost. Ah-- our ship, you see, a rough voyage. What year is it? And who is King?”

The boy looked a good deal more suspicious, of a sudden, and responded with the same incredulous snideness of teenagers everywhere. “It is 1204 in the year of our Lord, and King John rules England.” Aziraphale could almost hear the duh that would not be forthcoming for some time yet.

“1204, Crowley!” He exclaimed. “We have been away far longer than I thought!” He shook his head. “Thank you, lad, and if you can, start saving grains for your family now. The… uh… church says it is to be an especially cold winter.”

The boy looked, if anything, even more distrusting, but knuckled his brow and took off, glancing back at them as he went.

“Come on Angel, let’s go get some clothes that won’t stand out so much. We need to blend in til we can figure out how to get back.”

“You know… it mightn’t be so bad, if we can’t ‘get back’.” Aziraphale said ponderously as they walked.

“What are you talking about?” Crowley sounded disgruntled, to say the least.

“Well, you see, in all the fictitious accounts of time travel, the people doing the traveling have finite lifespans. They all want to go back for their families, their loved ones, to be with them. We don’t have that problem.”

Crowley looked askance at him.

“Sure, but do you really want to live through all this all over again? And isn’t there the fear of running into ourselves? I don’t know about you, but if I ran into me, I wouldn’t wait to ask questions.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale brightened at that. “I should quite like to have a cup of tea with myself, actually-- what a grand way to catch up on the goings on of the time.”

“Aziraphale, focus.” Crowley snapped. “There is a reason we have been sent back here and I suspect it’s to do with what’s coming in the future-- near to when we’re from. We need to find a way to get abc and stop whatever it is from happening.”

“But if we don’t hurry the process, we’ll have an awful lot more time to stop whatever it is,” Aziraphale pointed out, sensibly, he thought.

Crowley was silent for a long moment.

“We won’t have your books to reference about it, though.” He said finally. “And no lovely takeout to eat while we work. No private plumbing, or gas lines, no central heating and cooling…”

Aziraphale felt his face fall.

“I have grown… accustomed, I suppose, to those little creature comforts.”

“Like you said, that cold winter’s coming… food shortages and famine to follow. And all the sickness that’s to come-- 1204, we were at war with France, weren’t we? And England will be re-seizing church land soon, when John fights with the pope. You want to go through all of that nonsense again? You remember how conflicted you were about all of it, the first go round.”

Aziraphale sighed.

“Yes, of course, you’re right. The romance of it really is all in the nostalgia, isn’t it?”

“It really is.” Crowley agreed. “Now come on, if I recall there’s a tailor up here somewhere.”

It was odd, the echoes of familiarity and the utter strangeness existing together in this place. They found the tailor that Crowley remembered-- and he was, as Crowley remembered, really rather good. They left looking much more with the times, though Crowley insisted on keeping their other clothes with them, just in case.

“So what’s next?” Aziraphale asked, actually privately enjoying letting Crowley be the hero of this little misadventure.

“Next, we find somewhere to stay; a home base.” Crowley spoke authoritatively, as if he’d had a plan for a while now. And, given how long it’d taken to get hose made for his incredibly long legs, perhaps he’d done his planning then.

“Did you make enough money for it?” Aziraphale asked, more than willing to pull his own weight, but Crowley reached down and nudged his coin purse, the currency within clinking softly together.

“We’ll have enough for a while. Don’t want to attract too much attention.”

He’d said that frequently at the tailor’s, even as Aziraphale recalled the fashions of a mere few hundred years into the future with great fondness.

He’d ended up with a loose fitting long tabard-like-thing over a longer linen robe-- comfortable enough, and stylish enough, though he couldn’t for the life of him recall the actual names of this style. No matter; it did its job well enough.

They found an inn, fortunately located near several food stalls and a proper bar, insomuch as such a thing existed these days.

But there was wine, and ale, and water that looked mostly clear, and Aziraphale counted himself grateful.

“So, what is your plan from here?” Aziraphale asked Crowley, once they were settled in their single shared room. Wouldn’t want to attract attention by spending too much, nor risk being separated into different lodgings. And so they had their wine bottle and the honeyed figs Crowley had bought, despite his admonitions of being careful with their coin, for Aziraphale to enjoy.

“Now… we figure out how we got here, and why, if possible, and most importantly, how to get back.”

“It’s been a very long time since I was lost.” Aziraphale mused, speaking to the fig he was considering in his hand. “In fact, when I have been, usually I would simply pop up to heaven, and come back down where I intended to be.”

He bit into the treat, and Crowley stared at him.

“You mean we’ve spent the entire day in 1204, and we could have just… gone home at any time?”

Aziraphale shrugged and swallowed his mouthful.

“Well, I don’t know that it will work, based on your fear that it’s heaven who’s sent us here-- and if it does, then we can do it at any time. Think of it as a… a work sponsored holiday.”

“A work spons-- Aziraphale are you mad? We’re in the medieval times! One look at my eyes, and I’m up on a flaming stake or off with my head, or--”

Aziraphale blotted at his mouth with a napkin.

“Do you honestly think I’d let them do that to you?”

“Well you sure didn’t stop Gabriel doing it, did you?” Crowley snapped back, and then his expression shifted, and Aziraphale could tell he regretted it as soon as it was said. Even so, he recoiled.

“Alright. I’m sorry. Let’s… let’s go home.” He stood and made his way to a clear spot on the floor to begin drawing the correct sigils he’d need for transport.

“Aziraphale, I’m sorry.” Crowley had stood and followed him, but Aziraphale ignored him in favor of his work.

“So what, you aren’t talking to me now?”

“I am trying to concentrate, Crowley. Certainly wouldn’t want to keep you where you don’t feel safe any longer than necessary.” He kept his tone even and his eyes on the symbols on the floor.

“It’s not that-- I-- I have been so scared, all day, that they did this as a way to try and force us apart, or keep us away, and you… I don’t know how you can be so calm about all of this.”

At that, Aziraphale did look up at him. “I can be calm because you seemed to have a plan, and I trust you and feel safe around you. I’m sorry that I can’t do the same for you, but I understand.”

Crowley stared down at him for a moment. “That’s not what you mean to say at all, is it?” He asked. “You sound like them, shifting the blame, making it about-- about loyalty and faith. Why didn’t you tell me about your plan til just now?”

Aziraphale stopped drawing and sat back on his heels, dropping his head til his chin hit his chest. “Ever since the arrangement began…” He started, then paused to lick his lips. “I have been growing more and more afraid to use miracles for the things that matter. Useless miracles, frivolous ones-- making tea and the like? That’s not a problem, but… The important ones. I’m always afraid they’ll find out, about us, about me, and they’ll find a way to cut me off, with or without me falling, and… and so I avoid it.”

Crowley tilted his head, then looked down at the floor, at Aziraphale’s half finished sigil.

“But you would, because you realized how scared I am. You care about me more than you care about your own fear.”

“Well, at least I can do one tiny angelic thing right.” Aziraphale spat back bitterly. “Now please-- let me finish this, and we will be on our way.”

Crowley opened his mouth, seemed to think better of it, and sat back down to wait.

Aziraphale nodded and got back to work.

It was several silent minutes later when he heard, faintly, Crowley say, “Thank you.”

He pretended he hadn’t.

#GO Whumptober2020 #Whumptober #good omens #good omens fic #crowley #aziraphale #Ineffable Idiots #That writing thing I do

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superleeleehipster · 4 years

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10x16 thoughts/theories

After reading up on the finale, and watching the gifs/videos of that lovely Caryl moment (thank you peeps!), I’ve got some feelings to process. Mainly about two specific things about what the episode showed and what that means for the future.

Obviously, some spoilers ahead for 10x16

Disclaimer: Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, this is just my own. I’m not telling anyone to feel a certain way and everyone’s emotions are valid. You can happily agree or disagree as much as you want.

So first thing I want to talk about is that hug scene from the finale. From what I’m seeing so far, there are a ton of mixed reviews about it in the Caryl fandom. Some folks loved it and thought it was sweet, while others were disappointed b/c they were expecting something like the “No Sanctuary” hug based on the spoilers we got.

Speaking of. Spoilers. I appreciate the people who are able to give us content before the episode (to curb my anxiety if anything), but I also try my best to take what they say with a grain of salt, and the hug is a perfect example. We were told it rivaled the “No Sanctuary” hug and they had a heart to heart, but those statements are a bit arbitrary. I definitely think the person who said that thought those things, but we might not agree with their opinion.

The opposite has happened before too, where we were given spoilers that didn’t sound very good and it wound up being a better episode for Caryl than we thought. Like when we heard that Carol and Zeke were going to shag during the episode “Morning Star” and she confronts Daryl later and asks him to not hate her, and he says “he would never hate her” but doesn’t look at her and walks away... But what actually happened was Carol went to Daryl’s place in the woods and Zeke found her b/c he knew she “needed some comfort” and the shag was more or less one last hoorah for their relationship and when Carol asked Daryl to not hate her he looked straight into her beautiful eyes and said with conviction “I’m never gonna hate you”... that episode was an amazing surprise for everyone b/c we thought it would be much worse. Bottom line is, we just need to be careful about what spoilers say, b/c they can leave stuff out or make their own opinions on it.

My personal opinion on the hug: I thought it was a very sweet moment between the two. No, it wasn’t the same as the “No Sanctuary” hug, but I don’t even think that type of unbridled desperation and relief would’ve been appropriate for the current situation. And the current situation is that Caryl’s relationship had hit hard times recently, and Daryl is still upset with her with her actions. When saw her at the end of the episode and looked her up and down to make sure she was ok, but stayed guarded at first, that made sense to me. B/c neither of them are in the right headspace for any kind of relationship right now, especially Carol, and Daryl is a bit guarded still b/c of her recent actions. But when they acknowledge that it’s over, and Carol openly admits that she’ll never get what she wants and he says she has him and she gives that pitiful whimper of “yeah?” to him (AGAIN, we didn’t know about that in the spoilers!) and he comes in and gives her such a freaking warm hug. It was a hug that reassured Carol he was still on her side, and reassured Daryl that she was physically there and ok, and that the war was over. Also that part where she whimpered and wiggled a little and he wouldn’t budge at letting her go. Ugh the feels!

Seriously, I was kind of jealous b/c I haven’t been hugged that warmly in a long time...

Point is, I thought the hug was nice and sweet, and appropriate for the current situation. We just need to watch our own expectations when spoilers come out, b/c they can make us feel underwhelmed or pleasantly surprised when we see the scenes on our own. I definitely understand that ppl are tired of waiting. We’ve had 10 years of this and we’re tired of waiting for canon. But I definitely believe it’s coming soon, I really do...

Second thing I wanted to mention is that Connie is alive. I know there are some folks who are not exactly excited about that b/c we were pretty certain she had been killed. For some carylers, having Connie gone meant no real chance of Donnie happening, b/c we’ve been burned by TWD before and there’s always that chance no matter how slim. But for most, having Connie dead would cause the Donnie shippers (the nasty ones at least) to riot before likely leaving.

Personally, I’m actually glad she’s alive because of two big reasons:

1). Ignoring the abc shippers for a second, quite a few general audience members were really starting to hate Carol after her actions this season. No matter how much we had tried to speak reasons, and highlighting the fact that she just lost yet another kid, a lot of them ignore the turmoil she’s going through and just focus on the actions she’s done. Having Connie alive will at least quench some of the GAs negative feelings over Carol. Yeah she still messed up, but Connie’s alive so the blame will ease off on Carol...

2). This one’s a big one. Ever since Angela Kang began as the showrunner, I’ve noticed big differences between how she writes relationships and how it was before she came along. Quite a few differences if we’re being honest, but the biggest one is that she is more direct with character’s relationships with each other, and she’s not using the current situation to escape from having to be direct with them. There’s no extreme subtle glances or talking in a weird language that doesn’t always make sense (looking at you Gimple). She has been pretty upfront with a lot of the relationships during the last two seasons, and she hasn’t had to use fate/deaths to end ships or start others. For example:

- Carol/Ezekiel - A lot of folks were upset over the fact that Henry was going to take Ezekiel’s place on the pike scene, mainly b/c it wouldn’t be fair for Carol to lose another kid. But ignoring that reason for a moment, another reason is that it would've ended Carzekiel, so Daryl could possibly have a chance again. However, what happened was even better, in that Carol chose to end the relationship herself, instead of circumstances doing it for her.

- Eugene/Rosita - Instead of constantly having a “will they/won’t they” situation, Rosita had flat out told Eugene that they were never going to happen, and he admitted he mainly created the friendship in the hopes of being with her one day. Then, when he tried kissing Rosita, he realized he wanted Stephanie instead. Again, direct development in the relationship, even if the relationship itself would never happen.

- Daryl/Connie - The season 10 premiere, Kelly teased Connie with an eyebrow look after Daryl waved at her, but Connie gave her a “stop right now” glance. And when Carol asked him about it, he repeatedly said there was nothing going on between them.

- Daryl/Carol - She had Michonne mention to “make sure she says goodbye this time” to Daryl without Daryl even telling her he was about to meet up with Carol. The pure excitement and love between Caryl when they first reunited was adorable, and Carol’s joy on his bike was just amazing. To save some reading time, Daryl had basically put his heart on his sleeve for Carol this season, trying his best to keep her safe and help her through the situation. All the while, AK gave subtle/not so subtle hints of what their relationship was and very likely will become. Calling Caryl soulmates in interviews, admitting this season was really about their story. Having Carol sleep on a bedspread with ships on it, or have Daryl standing next to a ship wheel hanging in the hallway while he waited for Carol to answer the door. Having Carol find a double capped acorn and then Daryl staring longingly at it while he was in his room. I really could go on...

Point is, AK has been direct when it comes to dealing with relationships, so I have a feeling that she’s going to be direct when it comes to the Donnie ship. She already has, but I feel like there’s going to be a moment where it’ll end once and for all.

AK loves reading our fanfics, so I can definitely see it where, at the end of Season 11, when Carol decides she’d like to go on a trip. She’s in a better headspace than she was before, and just wants to go on an adventure. She was hoping to take Daryl up on his offer for New Mexico, but then Connie returns and she and Daryl have a really nice reunion that everyone witnesses. Carol thinks Daryl wouldn’t leave after that, so she plans as if she’s going alone, but then he finds her packing and asks when are they leaving. She gets confused because she thought he would build a life with Connie, but he might say something like “already told ya, there’s nothing going on there... my place is with you, no matter where that might be”...

Or maybe Connie tries to or even kisses Daryl, and Carol witnesses it, so she scurries away and makes plans to leave. But she doesn’t see Daryl turning away and telling Connie that it’s not like that. And then he goes to Carol right after and tells her that he’s going with her...

Those are just examples, but I can honestly see AK doing this, b/c she hasn’t shied away with being blunt with relationships before, why would she shy away from this now?

At the end of the day, I’m not perturbed by the finale. I wasn’t expecting anything drastic in regards to Caryl. But Carol has reached her bottom, both personally and with her relationship with Daryl, and now there’s no way to go but upward. The finale has already solidified the fact that she still has Daryl on her side, and that will be of immense help to her guilt about the recent events. So the next bit of their journey is Carol climbing out of the hole she was in, and with Daryl at her side. That sounds a lot like one of our fanfics doesn’t it? XD

PS: AK, if you’re reading, I fully expect that the next time in the future, when there’s a hug that actually rivals the no sanctuary hug, I hope it’s Carol and Daryl hugging desperately and trying to swallow each other’s faces... cause you know, I have wants.

Have a good evening loves! (gifs are not mine!!)

#caryl

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laytonsartblog · 5 years

Text

How To Solve Everything

Little Spaces - Ch.2

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3

Warning: This story contains violence, gun related violence, gang related violence, starvation, hypothermia, dysfunctional family themes, dysfunctional domestic themes, poverty, and homophobia/transphobia. Read with caution and at a good time for you. Take care of yourself.

Logan has a schedule he dedicates his life to.

First, to wake up at five am.

Next, is to get in the shower without a bucket. Why without a bucket? Because he's damn rich.

Y'see, when you're one of the most successful people in the country of Loríses, running a multi-billion dollar corporation on affordable apartment living and clean energy resources and steady bank loan agreements, well... you can afford some time.

That, and clean water.

Once that's all done and good, Logan likes to relax and have a nice breakfast in his humble top-apartment as he watches the news from the table.

The time didn't really matter when he woke up or finished eating because he never booked (or more accurately put, was forced to book) a meeting or council accommodation or ribbon cutting or something before eleven am.

Breakfast was his only sanctity; he made sure to have plenty of it.

With the news and breakfast over, Logan would head out to work with his classic polo and tie with a briefcase in hand, then spend about eight hours basically running around heading between business meetings and stock readings and introductory openings and apartment gatherings and- well, you get the picture.

Without a hitch, Logan'd get home at around seven-thirty pm, have some sort of dinner out with colleagues he really didn't care for, and get home to either sleep or do his favorite kind of work; charity work.

In the charity work's case?; he wouldn't get a wink of rest.

Today, Logan woke up like he would any other day, perhaps a little later than he thought he would, but that was due to his one am adoption centre charity bidding auction last night.

When he went to check his phone for any messages from his secretary for the day, he found only two from the uptight woman:

You have the day off, Mr.Corbett.

Have a nice day.

Logan looked on in confusion.

I have the day off? Why? he texted back.

His secretary immediately responded with a simple,You haven't used your vacation days at all for the past year, Mr.Corbett. If you don't use them by the end of September, you lose them. I took liberty of letting you off for the next week.

Logan was about to fight back and tell her he's coming into work anyway, but he found she's a bit faster with her hands.

You need it, Logan.

Go visit that old lady down the street, in the bookshop. Her name is Mrs.Tamry. She's my mother's sister and owns the place. She could use some company today.

Logan groaned. He wasn't moving the stubborn woman and that meant he actually had to take care of himself. Woe is he.

Logan grumpily put the phone to his bedside table before face-planting onto his bed. He groaned some more, kicking his feet and punching his hands into the pillows. Perhaps childish, yes, but Logan was never really raised to do much else than work. He didn't know what else to do.

Logan remembered the Mrs.Tamry from his secretary's messages a few minutes after his tantrum and sighed as he flipped over on the bed, rolling out of it.

After a shower he went over to his closet and picked out something a little more casual- a flannel and finer jeans -before stuffing down some toast to head to this bookowner.

Logan would admit that the bookstore part of the old woman was interesting; he's loved being read to and reading stories ever since he could recount the ABC's. It was one of the few pastimes he could be shown doing in public: his public advisor had once told him it made him look both gentle and intelligent, and the ladies would love it. Logan had just told him that he didn't care about the ladies and continued on his way to his office.

Logan finally made his way to the shop. He rolled his eyes at the name: "Book-Ends and Seller's Beggining." It was charming, if not a little corny, and Logan wasn't sure if this was really worth his time, but then he saw the little old lady through the glass sitting by her lonesome and let out a breath of air.

Dammit. Why do I have to feel so guilty?

Logan pushed his way through the tall glass doors and looked his way around, noticing the high bookshelves and neat working stations. It seemed grandma kept up with the times as Logan noticed a small table with a few charging stations attached to it, and a couple of teens doing their homework while plugging their phones in nearby. A stack of laps for rent stood on a shelf near the station.

Logan heard the old woman laugh hoarsely behind him.

"Well, now I wasn't expecting such a dashing young man in my shop so early in the morning!" Mrs.Tamry teased, still laughing. She got up from her weaved rocking chair and instead shuffled her way over to a flustered Logan. "Got some good bone structure- although the hair could use some work. A working man, hmm?"

Logan stammered at the guiding, touching hands and expert eye. "Yes ma'am, I- I am a businessman," he squeaked out.

Logan was used to just saying nothing while out in public, or worse, hosting everything and never getting a break. Having this conversation, if not an awkward one, made him sweat bullets. It was unknown territory.

"A businessman, huh?" Mrs.Tamry sang. She looked him over a few more times, noting the sweaty palms and pale face, before hollaring over to the kids in the corner, "Does this man look familiar?"

The three in the corner; a smaller, but colorful child, a tall but scraggly young fellow, and a boy with a star for his shirt all turned their heads.

The colorful kid snickered. "Nah, he looks too nervous to be any big shot I've heard of," they chided.

"Yeah, and what would he be doing here of all places if he was?" the scraggly lad questioned.

"Hey, knock it off!" the boy in the star shirt huffed. "The guy's probably super sweet and here to pick something up for his wife where they'll read fairytales to their kids and it'll be really damn cute!"

The colorful child started laughing hard; so hard, in fact, that they started tearing up. The scraggly kid did the same. The star boy just crossed his arms, looking to Logan with a much more innocent view.

Logan was sweating so profusely he was afraid he was going to faint. Mrs.Tamry just watched with a crooked smile at their imaginations.

"I am right, huh? You're just a nice guy!" the star boy asked, leaning in. The other two troublemakers got themselves together enough to lean in too, giggling.

"Yeah, tell us! Who are you?"

Logan couldn't stop himself before he even knew what his brain and mouth were going to say.

"I-I'm gay."

Well that was certainly new.

Logan realized what he said and covered his mouth with his hand, shock covering his entire face. Oh now you've done it, he roared at himself, you've told three kids and an old lady you're a disgusting pansy!

But the yelling and the chastising and the kicking-him-out-of-the-store never came. The other children looked to him in absolute glee, and the old woman just snickered.

"So what, dude? I'm like... mega gay too," the boy in the star shirt joked. He easily smiled at Logan.

Logan couldn't tell if he was being encouraged, or if he was doing the encouraging to the boy.

The other two children looked between eachother before looking to Logan. "We're non-binary. We use they/them pronouns. Could you please use them?"

Logan just barely managed a nod, his nerves in overdrive. He just outed himself and now these brave kids were coming out to him too? It was a hell of a thing to wrap around his brain. "O-Of course I will," he managed through chattering teeth.

Logan turned to the old woman last. He expected her to throw him out at first, but now he realized that she knew all this time. Now he looked to Mrs.Tamry in fear. The fact she could figure something like that out so quick was something Logan wasn't prepared to deal with, shock after shock being ran into him in the past ten minutes.

"Young man, you realize that this establishment has a 'We Accept You' sticker on the front, right?" she giggled, patting his shoulder despite him being a tree and her a stump.

Logan looked back to the glass and saw a mirrored version of that sticker on the door; clear as day.

Logan slumped his shoulders. "Oh."

Mrs.Tamry took his shoulders and guided Logan over to a seat, sitting in the one next to him with a sigh. "Ooh, that feels much better on my back."

Logan just stared at her, sweating and shaking and why had I not fought my secretary on letting me work-

Mrs.Tamry clasped a hand on top of his fussing one and smiled gently. The wild side of her had been turned down, and now something much more sweet laid itself out to the scatterbrained gay.

Logan felt himself calm down just a little.

"Now now, I've been told by my niece that her boss was coming in today to spend his day off. I'm to assume that's you, right?" she gently asked. The hand on Logan's softly rubbed it's thumb against Logan's knuckles.

Logan calmed down just a little more.

His tongue managed to unstick itself from the roof of his mouth enough to let out a small, "yes."

He didn't know why he was so freaked. Usually when he got this nervous he'd just bury it down like he had been for the past thirty something years but in this place, it felt like no matter how hard he tried, he was forced to feel everything he was feeling. Logan did not like it.

Mrs.Tamry sighed and used her other hand to tap a gentle rhythm in Logan's arm, giving him something to hold on to.

"Y'know, I didn't expect such a good man like you to be holding back so much fear. I could feel it as you stepped through that door," Mrs.Tamry commented, trying to make small talk.

Logan avoided her eyes. "Well, I haven't got much of a place to let it out."

Mrs.Tamry kept the rhythm on his arm while she hummed.

"Well that simply isn't good!" she preached. "Tell you what, if you're feeling so scared and trembling like you are now, you can always come to me, y'hear?"

Logan nodded a little. He could feel himself slowly relax, coming down from being so flustered and flabbergasted.

New places, new conversations- in which he made actual conversations instead of one-sided invites -new people, new ideas, new everything! It made his brain go into overdrive and his nerves alight. Usually he was able to handle it, bury it deep for later, but here? It seemed he couldn't stuff the feelings down.

Maybe it was Mrs.Tamry's wild but motherly approach, or the bookstore's inviting nature, or the teens he talked to earlier, but either way, Logan just sighed.

He was okay. He was safe. He was okay.

Mrs.Tamry pulled Logan up and rubbed his back while she headed him in the direction of the laptops.

"Why don't you do yourself a favor and find a game to play or- or a messaging site to talk to someone!" Mrs.Tamry then giggled cheekily. "It seems you don't have many friends, so now's a time to start!"

Logan took a seat next to the three teens with an awkward smile and a wave as he opened up the laptop. It was a little out of style, but it seemed fine enough as Logan booted it up.

"We never got your name, sir," the star boy asked politely while Logan logged in.

"Yeah! Like for example I'm Joan and that's Talyn, and he's Thomas, so now you know us!" the newly named Joan called out, tipping their beanie like a celebrity.

Talyn nodded along, playing with their colorful hair. "Homework is getting boring, we wanna know you!"

Logan turned to the three kids with a reserved smile as he signed up for a messenger site called GetAlong.

"My name is Logan Corbett."

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#sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #logan sanders #economic crisis au #economical dystopian #economic crisis #dystopia #dystopian #homophobia #tw homophobia

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itbe-jess · 4 years

Text

TEC: New Light (Promo)

Easy Reader: Hi. Easy Reader; That's my name. Readin' readin', that's my game. Remember me, from your childhood? The Electric Company! Ya know, that show which aired on PBS a while back?

[*Cue to the 2009 version*]

I said The Electric Company! Not Ghostwriters: The Reboot! If you do happen to remember me, then damn, you old! Sorry. Humor is my copin' mechanism. *AHEM* Y'all remember Sesame Street, right? Well, who DOESN'T? It was an educational preschool program, funded by The Children's Television Workshop, or CTW for short (and nowadays, we call it Sesame Workshop), that taught underprivileged kids the necessities of counting, the alphabet, and other cultural studies. All with a cast consisting of these puppet-like species called "Muppets."

They're not the same as real puppets. A puppet is a freaky doll that is piloted by human, with a hand shoved up its ass. Muppets are living, breathing creatures. Wait, am I technically oppressing against Muppets?

Anyways, here's the skinny: Sesame Street was a success, to both children and adults alike. Learning numbers and the ABCs were as simple as learning to ride a bike, but these kids were still limited to other skills such as reading and math. So, with the success of Sesame Street, I made a proposal with the chairman of CTW that I could teach kids with television the way they had. That was back around my hippie days. They said they'd provide me a contract if I could prove my statement. So, me and my friends got together on this project. We didn't need to rely on Muppets, since we were already as quirky and wacky as can be. Then, the first pilot was produced. It was about reading.

We never did a show about math. Nobody likes math. It's too confusing.

Long story short, it was a success, and we got our own show! Thus, The Electric Company was born! That's where we played an important part in history. We taught little children how to read, and at the same time, made it a party. Rumor has it that The Electric Company's format inspired other variety shows such as Saturday Night Live. We spoke to a large range of multicultural kids. Elementary schools began tuning our show in classrooms. Thanks to us, the 70s' became the Right to Read era. Oh, I forgot to mention our fanbase! With a hit show, it's bound to have fans! We had young, old, and creepy ones. Our program had that certain aesthetic appeal to grownups. Heh, I remember having adults pay me a visit on set.

And yes, I said "adults." They weren't just women. UwO.

We lived in a time where educational kids' programs had real personalities, rather than projectin’ a sugar coated world where you not allowed to express any emotions but to be happy all the time. Does anyone find that a bit... ...unnervin’?

But whatever, our show was all about the reading, grammar, and where the hell a punctuation should be placed. The thing about reading is... ...it serves many SOUL purposes. They help us from stepping into danger (well, unless you stubborn as a mule), they make comics more enjoyable, and they help you understand what that Spanish speaking guy is trying to tell you at the bottom of your TV screen. Can't get a job if you can't read that application. The fascination behind reading is a little arduous to lay bare. Know what I mean? Reading just has some wonderful harmony and adventure in it, at least through my perspective. There's somethin' about reading that's effective towards me. Whenever I'm scanning my eyes across a sentence, ooooohh, it just tickles my innards. MMM, Easy likes that! Yeah! Sock it too me!

See Jane run. See Spot run.

Sorry. Got a little off topic there. Now where was I? Oh, riiiiiiiight! After six seasons, including 780 episodes, our show gets canceled, and blah blah blah, Sesame Street continues to thrive strong with all their Muppets, and added a little red annoying gremlin, blah blah blah blah blah. Now, all is history. Well, none of us even cried about it. I mean, we had a good run. Even succeeded helping the little youth read, which just was my goal to begin with. Yes sir, those were handy good times. Of course, fans of our beloved show couldn't help but crave for more. They felt there were still a few gaps to fill. 33 years, we did come back, and at the same time, we didn't.

[*Cue back to "Ghostwriters: The Reboot"*]

*Shudders* I mean, it's not all that bad. It has good diversity, and it still coaches a well-performed reading function like our original. My only complaint isssssssssssssssssssss: Where the fuck am I in this series?! Where the fuck are the rest of the gang?! Oh sure, recruit the gorilla, but pretend as though WE never existed! No offense, Paul.

[*Offscreen grunting*]

And the layout of this show, it just isn't The Electric Company! Just because you throw in a couple of animated sketches and those silhouette face things, doesn't mean you get to slap our title on! And who the fuck are these teenaged, "oh we're so edgy," scrapped X-Men concepts?!

As the old slogan rides, "If you want somethin' done, you gotta do it yourself." Now, y'all wanted to hear from the REAL Electric Company, and that's exactly what you gonna get. But, we ain't gonna be teachin' little kids to read this time. Nuh uh. Since y'all already know how to read, we taking a deep dive into our adult lives!

No, I ain't talkin' 'bout THOSE adult lives. Alcohol, drugs, sex, offending minorities. Naw, man. We don’t revolve around that. Bein’ a bigot shouldn't even be excused when you're an adult. Well, I have sex occasionally. Don't you go slut-shaming me! Sluts are actually good people! (Unless it happens to be a straight white dude, or a Muppet, that's when I start judgin') As I was sayin', by "adult lives" I mean "our lives," by what we do as adults. Meet The Electric Company! Allow me to introduce them in a nutshell.

Fargo. A quirky detective/decoder who's a little hard to figure out. Matter of fact, he can't even figure out himself.

Jennifer. A happy, energetic, jungle girl who loves animals. Has a pet gorilla.

Paul. Pet gorilla of said jungle lesbian who loves to wreck havoc among our show. By "wreck havoc,” I mean screw with us. (Jennifer needs to keep that thing on a leash)

J. Author. There he is. Nuff said.

Vi. A carefree diva who owns a diner, and takes pride in her work. (We slept together once)

Valerie. The one who played as my girlfriend on the show, when behind the scenes we're really good friends. She's also a librarian.

Otto. A movie art perfectionist who directs pictures. Her actors can't read their lines for some shit.

Pedro. He loves plants, and talkin’ to them. He owns the most weirdest, yet extraordinary ones.

Spider-Man. You probably know him by now. Except... ...he doesn't talk. ...at least not with a voice.

Then there's me. The first class, genuine, readin' freak!

Get to know all of us better on

The Electric Company: New Light!

We turnin' it on again! Dig it?

#The Electric Company #The adult version #TEC: New Light #fanfic #Coming Soon #NSFW-ish

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exchangewritingsandramblings · 5 years

Text

The ABCs of Steve and Natasha Rogers-Stark

Happy First Anniversary, Babe. Love, Steve

A is for all my love for you. I know it’s cheesy and you’re probably rolling your eyes by now, but buckle up because it gets worse from here.

Before we started dating, you sort of got on my nerves. I know now that it’s a defense mechanism, your prickly porcupine act, to push people away before they can betray you. You’ve had too many betrayals in life, and I won’t be one.

Contrary to whatever the tabloids say, we didn’t start dating after the first battle we fought together. At that point, we had at least warmed up to each other more, and I’ll admit, I was crushing pretty hard. I wish I would have gotten the nerve to ask you out earlier, so I could spend more time with you. But after that first battle, we started to text; you provided witty quips while I provided typos courtesy of super-strength, tiny screens, and a complete lack of knowledge of technology in the 21st century.

I started to fall even harder once you, in all your genius, designed a phone for me, taking into account my previous challenges. I was touched that you would spend time creating something for me, and even more touched that it was to better our middle of the night “I can’t sleep because I’ve seen terrible things” conversations. I was so happy to have someone to talk to who was able to understand the things I’ve seen, but I was worried that you only saw me as a friend, and I didn’t want to overstep.

Every night we’d text, and I became very glad for the fact that I need less sleep than an unenhanced human because it allowed me to spend more late night hours talking to you. I used to daydream about a time when, if one of us woke from a nightmare, we could hold the other and talk about our fears. It would have beat curling up on the couch cuddling a blanket, for sure.

Finally, we went on a date. Fortunately, you asked me out while I was still mustering up the courage to do so. I’m sure that if you had waited for me, we would have both been waiting for a few more months.

Our first date was great. We went to a pizzeria in Brooklyn that I remember from when I was a child, and somehow the place is still operating. Being back there, I felt a little bit less out of my time. Yet I was sitting across from a tech genius, who I knew would drag me kicking and screaming into the 21st century whether I liked it or not. Fortunately, when your crush pilots some crazy armor connected to an AI system, you lose reservations over modern technology.

How did I get so lucky? I’m not sure. All I know is that our first date was a success, then the second, then the third… again, if it wasn’t for you being so direct, we’d probably still be waiting on our first kiss. But at the end of the first date, you pulled me over to you (with a surprising amount of strength, I might add!) and kissed me. I think I saw stars (of the red, white, and blue variety… before you feel the need to say that before me. I know you babe).

I fell more and more in love with you after each incredible date. Time flew by, and all of a sudden, we had been dating for a month, then two, and eventually six. I knew you were special before we started dating, and each passing day reaffirmed that fact. I knew that one day, I was going to marry you.

Just as things were going well and we had established a nice pattern of domesticity, we were called into battle again. I heard over the comms as you were shot multiple times, with one shot bringing your armor crashing down. After the battle, I rushed to the hospital to see you. That was one of the scariest experiences of my life, and I fight aliens, monsters, and all sorts of other scum for a living! But you pulled through, because you’re the strongest woman I know, and a few bullet holes weren’t going to stop you.

The day that you were discharged from the hospital, we walked out together into the sunshine. I kissed you, and asked you to move in with me, because if that hospital stay taught me anything, it was that life is too short to be timid, and I didn’t want to lose any time with you.

You laughed at me, and I was so anxious and confused until you shut my spluttering up with another kiss. “Honeybear,” you said, rolling your eyes, “Of course I want to live together. But you’re moving in with me, not the other way around. I have that whole tower getup, remember?” I remembered that I couldn’t stop laughing, partly from the relief, and partly from your sarcasm.

Movie nights with you became my favorite way to unwind, a tradition we started after I moved in. You’d put on a movie that you’d claim I was “deprived” for not seeing while I was, in your words, a capsicle, bring out a giant tub of popcorn, and we’d cuddle on the couch and watch the film together. It did certainly beat newsreels. My favorite part, I think, is when you’d fall asleep halfway through the movie on me. I knew how hard it was for you to sleep, and I was honored that you trusted me enough to be able to let your guard down enough to finally go to sleep. By the way, honey, you really do need to sleep more frequently!

Another of my most treasured memories with you was the date when we drove out to a cabin I didn’t know you owned, and laid on the grass under the night sky, fingers intertwined as we saw more stars that I had ever seen in my life. The way that the glow of the moon illuminated your features, and the stars in your eyes… Golly, my heart swelled with love for you. And then, for the first time, we… did things that I’m not going to spell out because you know exactly what they are, and I’m sure you’re going to mock me for the fact that right now, as you’re reading this, I probably have a pink flush up my neck. Just remember that you find it adorable!

Engagement ring shopping was an ominous task for me; you would buy yourself the jewelry you liked, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to find anything that you didn’t have but would like. Finally, I decided to get something custom made for you. I wanted something with symbolism, so I got you a pattern of stones that looked like your arc reactor. Cheesy, I know, but I’m forever grateful to that thing for keeping shrapnel out of your heart so that I was able to enter. And yes, Natasha, I know you’re rolling your eyes right now. Just roll with it.

Planning a proposal was no simple feat, either. Nothing I thought of could ever live up to the idea of a perfect proposal that I had in my head. So instead, I took to carrying the ring with me everywhere, knowing that when the perfect moment came, I would be ready. We were standing on the tower roof, looking over the fantastic New York skyline. The lights of the city reflecting off your face reminded me of the date we had under the stars, and I asked you what the building in the distance was, knowing full well that it was related to some scientific pursuit and that would keep you distracted for long enough for me to get onto one knee.

Once you had finished explaining, there was a period of quiet, where you didn’t realize that I wasn’t standing next to you. Finally, it registered with you, and you turned around. I don’t think I ever saw anything so beautiful, and I sketched it as soon as you went to sleep that night. Check the wall of the living room, when you have a chance. Of course you said yes, and you definitely cried (don’t even try to tell me I was seeing things, Stark).

I didn’t think we’d ever be ready with a planned wedding; wedding planning was worse than I expected, filled with a lot of stress that I didn’t know what to do with. Fortunately, you were already well-versed in planning formal events, and you were the real powerhouse behind our wedding. I just stood there and looked pretty.

When coordinating wedding attire, we decided to wear our suits. How perfect was that to symbolize us, and the pictures of us shoving cake into each other’s mouths while in our superhero costumes were truly the highlight of our wedding album.

We got married on a Thursday, because that was the one year anniversary of the battle we first fought in together, when we met each other. It was sappy and cliche and perfect, and both of us cried reciting our vows. I have photographic evidence to prove it, Natasha, don’t even try to deny it.

For our honeymoon, we decided on a tropical getaway to some island that you owned. I really, at that point, should have not been surprised that you owned an island, yet I still was. As we laid under the stars, I thought back to that date, the one I mentioned earlier that makes me blush, when we did… things… for the first time together. And then we did the same, uh… things, again. This was the first time we did that as husband and wife, and as we stood in the sea, your legs wrapped around my waist, your arms around my neck, and the moonlight reflecting off your perfect skin… I think I fell in love all over again.

I am a very lucky man to be your husband, Natasha, and I’m reminded of that every day, with little things such as the way your nose scrunches up when you’re working on calculations, or the way your tongue pokes out of your mouth when you solder. The way that you aren’t fully alive until you have your morning cup of coffee, and the way that you play with your bots when you don’t know I’m watching.

There are endless more ways that I am completely in love with you, and every day we share together fills my heart with wonder. When I was thawed from the ice, I thought that any of my chances at love had disappeared with time. I’m so glad to have been so wrong.

#3490fest #this is the same person as speak-at-every-hazard I just didn't want this love story to be on my depressing af blog #natasha stark #steve rogers #kdm103020

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choicesatnight · 5 years

Text

Devoted Fiend

Title: Devoted Fiend

Pairing: James Ashton x Vivian (MC)

Rating: Angst n stuff..?

Word count: 2,048 words

My disclaimer: This character is owned by PB, I just enjoy some elaboration. I really love James Ashton and I love Choices fanfics, especially nasty ass stuff but there isn’t much featuring my original bae, James Ashton from The Freshman series

So, I decided to put my amateur ass talent to work and write with James being the *star of the story*

A/N: * is a separator due to scene change, use of Daddy, Italics are James thoughts

Four months later, Vivian is the only suspect in Reyna’s murder although they cannot link the poison to Vivian as the autopsy revealed Reyna’s cause of death as extreme amounts of black mamba venom. They did find an empty vial in Vivian’s purse which is the sole reason she is a suspect. Out on bail, thanks to James, she gave birth to a healthy boy who currently resides with his father.

After putting Logan down to sleep, James sits down to dial Comfort.

“Hey hun"

“Hey C, where are you?”

“Almost at your place”

“Good. Logan misses you.”

“Oh, does he? Logan's got some explaining to do"

“Uh oh.”

“I'm here.” She hangs up the phone and opens the door.

Comfort walks in wearing her usual type of outfit. An oversized top, formfitting jeans, and heels. The top is so long it hides the part of her bottom half that James likes to see the most.

“You look nice" he kisses her lips.

After the kiss, “I'm going to see Logan. Sit down, hun. I'll be right back.”

Seconds later she returns from the nursery and sits on the couch beside James.

“He's sleeping.”

“Hopefully for a while. He’s quite the night owl.”

“That’s the complete opposite of you.”

James' eyes scrunch in confusion, why does she think I’m not a night person at all? I can hang late at night. Shouldn’t she know this by now?

“I guess. But it’s exactly like his mother.”

Comfort rolls her eyes,

“Why are you talking about murderers?”

“You know I believe in her innocence. Regardless, she’s still Logan’s mom.”

“She's a murderer which brings me to my next point. James. You paid for her LEGAL TEAM!?” raising her voice in absolute disapproval of what he’s done.

“Yes. She's Logan's mom”

“Babe. She's a damn MUR👏🏼DER👏🏼ER"

James smiles, “You called me babe.”

Like Vivian used to.

Her mouth flat and eyes full of anger

“Listen, if she gets free you will be responsible for a murderer on the loose. She's obsessed with you so I'm next and when I wind up dead it's on you. Know that.”

“Comfort, I'm sorry we disagree about her role in Reyna's murder but she's Logan's mother and I’m always going to look after the mother of my child.”

“Okay honey remember you said that when I'm dead and you ultimately end up back with her because you're soft for her.”

“Soft for her? Comfort, we were together for nine years. She's the mother of my son. I have a right, no – a VALID REASON to stay in her life and excuse me for being polite and using the money I have for things” He takes a breath before he continues, “and PEOPLE that are important to me! I’m only looking out for her.” His tone is elevated, he’s standing and looking at her with furrowed brows as he speaks. How dare she speak so ill of Vivian!

She stands up and gets in his face,

“Really James? Do you think raising your voice is gonna back me down off of the fact that you’re taking care of a murderer? I don’t care how long you were together, she’s a killer and this is not cool. You need to have a seat, get the hell outta my face and go tell her to stay in her damn place!”

Feeling even more frustrated, he sits down without a word. Comfort remains standing.

“Exactly. Sit down. Don’t try to argue with me about that damn murderer. I got this argument.”

Did she just tell me what to do?

Nothing. James says nothing.

“You act like you're still together. The only difference is that you're having sex with me and I have a key to your apartment.”

“Are you saying you think this is only about sex?”

“I hope not.”

“I’ll talk to her, okay?” He has no intention of talking to her about this situation. She’s innocent and not even Comfort can convince him otherwise.

“That’s all I’m asking, at least. Man up.” James thoughts linger to Vivian. She would never talk to him this way, nor would she be so demanding.

“Okay, well…”

“Um, yeah, I’ll call you later, okay?” Comfort attempts to kiss James though he bends as if he’s looking for something and she leaves.

What Comfort doesn’t know is that James also paid her bail, so by her definition he’s already let a murderer loose.

Vivian sits at home alone. Thinking of the situation she's gotten herself in when her phone rings "Sweet Love" and steals her attention. Upon grabbing the phone, she sees its lit with notification. Today is...or would have been, her 10th anniversary with James. Imagining how amazing the day and night would have been if they were together and if she were not facing a murder conviction leads her to dial James.

"Hey James"

"Hey" she can hear the tiniest cry near the phone.

"Awww is that Logan?"

"Of course, it is. I'm feeding him."

"Can I come by? Do you have company already?" He knows she's asking about Comfort. She always avoids saying her name. Is Comfort equivalent to Voldemort to Vivian?

"Only Logan and I are home. Come by."

"I miss my baby. See you soon" she hangs up the phone and heads to James apartment.

Once there, she kisses James on the cheek and sets her purse and keys on the table. Removing her coat reveals the low cut, form-fitting shirt she is wearing. He gets lost remembering the way she'd call him Daddy when he'd bite her nipples simply by staring at her top and maybe a little from the warm familiarity of her perfume. But he is pulled from his memories when Vivian repeats "I'm gonna go see Logan.” Until he responds “Okay.”

She walks to the nursery and rocks baby Logan in her arms while singing. "ABCDEF is for Frugal which your father is not. And hey! Father. F is for father GH is for Hoe. The kind of partner you shouldn't commit to IJ..." James walks in "Those ABC's don't sound appropriate for an infant." He smiles, only to show that he is not chastising her. "He'll know his letters and some adult lessons by the time he's three. He'll be a scholar and know how to avoid getting hurt. He'll be better than his mom. He'll be like his dad."

James walks behind her wrapping her in his embrace, hands rested on her stomach

"You're a wonderful woman." She softly places Logan in his crib

"I wasn't good enough for you."

He releases her from his embrace only to make her face him,

"Vivian, are you kidding me? You're the love of my life. You don't seem to understand the change I had to go through after realizing that you were not committed to me. It broke my entire person. But I emerged."

"And started dating her. I pushed you to her and that’s who you share your happiness with.”

“It’s not happy” Fuck! I shouldn’t have said that. Vivian doesn’t need to hear about this…

“What’s wrong, James? Why aren’t you happy?”

“Okay,” he visually relaxes after deciding its okay to share this with Vivian.

“We argued and she talked down to me. Spoke to me like I were an idiot. You know how intensely I feel for words. She changed the way I see her plus I’m still mad.”

She steps closer to James “So now she's talking you crazy. Treating you like less of a man. Babe. You don’t deserve that.”

James is hardly able to resist Vivian, she's like kryptonite to him, but with the strength he has he says “Give me a second, gotta take advantage of this time while you're here with Logan" he laughs heading toward the bathroom.

Vivian can't help but notice James phone left on the baby`s changing table.

“My trusting lover never fails me" she laughs at the ZERO methods of protection on his phone and looks for her name “Vivian (Logan's mother)” to change it to “Soul Mate (Logan's Mother).” She's proud of her son, there’s no reason to change that. Next, she looks for Comfort. And finds her under “My everything (Comfort ❤).” Thank goodness for his parenthesis or she wouldn't ever find her. She changes her name to “Temporary Bitch (Comfort)” and puts his phone down. Just in time as he is walking back to her.

Now in the living room, James returns to Vivian

“Thanks for allowing me that quick shower. I felt pretty grimy. Logan doesn't deserve a grimy dad" he laughs

She joins in the laughter. “You're definitely the type for Dad jokes.”

“Oh, I'm a comedian. Comfort has extracted parts of me I didn't know existed.”

“Did she do that when she was screaming at you what to do?”

James is silent. Vivian knows exactly how to finish James, how to make herself irresistible to him.

“Hey, come here” she grabs his hand, pulling him into the bedroom and sitting on the bed. She gets on her knees behind him, massaging his shoulders.

“Close your eyes. Just relax to my touch…Daddy”

James is ready to relax but the flame ignites when she calls him Daddy. He turns his head around to look at her and they begin to kiss as attempts to pull her unto his lap. The movements are a little tricky, but she ends up on his lap as they continue kissing. He pulls away long enough to say,

“I need you, Viv" before returning immediately to kissing her, deepening the kiss unknowing where to let his hands roam. For once, he just wants to kiss her until they share breaths, but she pulls away

“I missed you so much"

“I missed you too, Viv. I didn’t know how much.”

“Will you come to court with me tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” He kisses her. “I'll be there every day. I testify on Tuesday.” He kisses her again.

“I love you so much"

Vivian smiles, laying her head on James' shoulder. She’s getting everything she wanted in spite of Comfort still being alive.

“I love you too, James"

“Stay here. I’ll be with you tomorrow anyway.” His fingers combing through her hair as she sits on his lap.

“What about your place holder?”

He laughs when she refers to Comfort as “place holder"

“Who cares. She predicted this would happen anyway.”

“She predicted us getting back together?” she laughs

“Yup. She said I`m soft for you…but I'm definitely not soft right now"

She laughs even harder, “Freaky as ever! I missed that.”

They kiss. “It feels like home being back with you. It will be us forever, baby. You, me and Logan."

“Yup."

DAY 1

THE PEOPLE VS. BLACK MAMBA

Both sides have presented their argument and Vivian stands with James and her attorney

“Sounds like the prosecution has no real evidence against you. They only called upon the testaments of forensic professionals. We're going to win.” The lawyer looks at James, “Who is this? Who are you? Vivian, are you entering a new witness?”

Vivian giggles and grabs hold of James' hand, “No. Michael. He paid for you to defend me"

Michael straightens his stance and offers his hand to shake “Mr. Ashton! Michael Board. It's nice to meet you, sir"

James laughs briefly while shaking his hand, “You're thinking of my dad. You can call me James.”

“Jay, Jim, Jimmy" he points finger guns toward James with expecting eyes.

“James.” James' voice is unmoving in tone, indicating tedium.

Vivian moves closer to James, still holding his hand “You can tell him anything. He's should be included in all of it.” James raises their intertwined hands to kiss hers.

“Are you married to James? Vivian, this will be amazing for your image.”

“Well, n-" James cuts of Vivian before she can finish answering

“Yes. I’m her husband.” He stares in her eyes as he speaks

“Perfect! The jury will not convict our brand-new mother and wife when she’s got no evidence tying her to this murder. Mrs. Ashton, consider this case won!” Michael is trying his best not to break out his “We're winning” dance moves when Vivian and James are still locked holding hands and staring into one another's eyes.

Teeny Tiny Tag List

@zigortega4life

@littlecrookedheart

#JamesAshton #TheFreshmanSeries #Choices #FreakyFics

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julia-highstorms · 5 years

Text

Tom x Julia - Fluff ABC

A/N: Due to NSFW ABC success, I decided to do another interview with Tom and Julia lol! Thank you so much for @pixelburied for creating this template! Read more about them on my Masterlist.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios.

Word count: +4,300 sorry

Interviewer: Welcome Tomoichi Sato and Julia Vance! Thank you both on agreeing to be a part of another interview!

Julia: Wooo thanks for having us again! I had so much fun last time! And found out so many things about Tom!

I: Oh yes, your NSFW Alphabet interview was a success, our readers loved it! How does it feel to know that people read about your sex life? *looks at Tom*

Tom (blushing): It's a bit wild to think… people now know what Julia and I like… doing in bed…

J (smirking mischievously): Or on other places…

T (blush intensifies): ...But if they enjoyed it… then I'm glad, I guess… Thank you all… Uh, what is this interview about? More NSFW stuff?!

I: Haha, don't worry about it, Tom. This one's completely "safe for work". *Tom exhales, visibly relaxing* You'll be answering a Fluff ABC on your relationship, created by K, @pixelburied!

J and T: Thank you @pixelburied for this!

J (shuffling excitedly on her seat): This will be fun! Alright, let's begin!

I: A - Anger. What was your first fight about?

T: I thought this was a fluff alphabet. Not that we were going to talk about our fights…

J: Hmm, our first fight was over something stupid. Do you remember it, Tom?

T (chuckling): Haha, yes. We fought over a fricking mug.

I (looking visibly confused): A mug?

T: Yeah. Julia is very… possessive about her stuff. And she always accuses me on being too selfish with my video games… Anyway, it was on the next morning I spent the night in her place for the first time. I mean, on Arthur's cabin. While she was taking a shower, I decided to make us some coffee and… well, I picked the first mug I found. How the hell would I have known it was her favorite mug? That she only drinks tea in it? Dude, she got mad. She suddenly showed up in the kitchen, yelling at me—

J: Don't be so dramatic, Sato. And you should have waited for me and asked me if you could pick that mug. And of course that was my mug. It has a gigantic 'J' on it.

T: Anyway, she took the mug out of my hand and I had to drink my coffee on a cup.

J (laughing): I still remember grandpa’s face when he found us arguing on his kitchen because of the mug!

I: And do you have any big recurring arguments?

*Julia and Tom share a look before answering*

J: Yeah… you see, we have very different tastes and interests. In everything: music, cinema, games, clothing… *the Interview nods* So… we always end up fighting because we can't get each other, you know? Like, I don't see all the appeal when a new sequel of a famous game is coming out…

T: And I don't get why she gets so hysterical when there's a band she likes coming to play in town…

J: So we have arguments about it. We almost never can agree on what to do on leisure time. So after we had this very big fight, because of our different interests, we decided to split our time equally by doing something one of us enjoy.

I: But you don't have anything you both like to do?

T: We like going to the karaoke and to the movies. But we like different kinds of music and movies. Oh, but we love eating and trying on new food!

J: Yeah, we like going to new places to eat. And of course there are more things we enjoy doing together… kicking monsters asses, cuddling and… *she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and Tom blushes immediately* If you get what I mean. But just spending time with him, doing anything, or even nothing, is the best thing ever.

T: I feel like… at the same time we can’t get get each other… we do get each other, you know? She knows what I’ll think or how I’ll react even before I know!

J: Yeah, Tom understands me better than anyone. Even though some of his things drive me crazy.

I: Aww, this is sweet. Alright, B - Best: what would you say is your partner's best trait?

J: Tom's incredibly loyal, noble and overall, a badass. *her boyfriend ducks his head, his cheeks blushing slightly, but he can't contain a grin from appearing on his lips* After all that chaos that happened in Westchester a few years ago, he could simply wish it to never happen again and try to forget and ignore it… but when those strange things started happening on Pine Springs, what he did? He moved there. To help people there. People he didn't know. This is the noblest thing I've ever seen.

T: And Julia is the bravest person I know. She handled everything, her parents death, all that cultist thing, the monsters, her grandma's revengeful spirit, like a badass. *he turns to her* I genuinely think you're invincible. *Julia laughs loudly* And… she's so in love with life, with being alive, that I can't do anything but stand there in awe. She's seen some pretty heavy stuff, but she never loses this will to live. And she'll always be down to do anything. From just going to eat ice cream to going to a spontaneous road trip. You can propose anything and she'll be like 'let's do this'! *chuckles softly* And I guess, this is how we ended up here, doing this interview…

I: Haha, definitely! Our next letter is C - Camera. How do you document your relationship? Who likes to take pictures/videos?

T: We don't document every single thing about our relationship. In fact, we usually forget to take pics of our dates. I prefer being behind the camera.

J: Yeah, we can notice it by your Instagram account. You only take pictures of the others or, like, random stuff. You almost never show your pretty face. I personally suck on taking pictures, so I prefer serving as a model. Danni can confirm this. About our relationship… I like posting a bunch of stories on my Insta when I'm with Tom. Especially when he doesn't notice it.

T: Ugh, yeah. I bet half of her stories are about me asking her 'what are you doing'?

J: And I always say 'sharing your pretty face for the whole world to see'! And he always tries to get my phone out of my hands.

I: What about your D - Dates? What are they like? Do you plan them? Are they more spontaneous?

J: It depends on the day. Sometimes we just want to stay at home cuddling, playing video games (his case) or watching movies (my case).

T: Of course, some dates have to be planned beforehand. Like, when we want to go to a super famous and packed restaurant.

I: E - Early. How was the first month of dating like?

T: After the cultists and mad grandma were defeated, we finally had the time to go on dates and hang out with our friends.

J: It finally felt like a vacation. We spent most of our days together. I would split it between Tom, Elliot and our friends. It was nice and relaxing. Then that dick tried to kill me… but then I took care of him.

T: We went to Westchester a couple more times. Stacy invited us to this party on her house, do you remember it?

J: I do! And I finally got to know Tom's friends from Westchester better. It was nice.

I: Since we're talking about F - Friends… How's your relationship with each other's group of friends?

T: Uh, sometimes I regret introducing Julia to Andy. *his girlfriend laughs*

I: Why?

T: Because they gang up against me!

J: It's because it's so funny to tease you!

T (pouting): Nah, it's because you're both mean!

J: Aww, you big baby! *she leans in and pecks on his cheek* Anyway, as we said, Tom's friends were very open to include me. Tom met some of my college friends and my best friend (which I met in high school), Marina.

I: Oh, and how was it, Tom?

T: I guess we got along well. Her college friends are pretty crazy and like to party way harder than me, but they were all very nice. Marina was harder to please… *Julia giggles, shaking her head affirmatively*

J: She's very protective over me, especially after my parents death… we don't see each other as much because she's studying in another state, but we text each other a lot. When I told her about Tom… she promptly wanted to meet him and see if he deserved me. *rolls her eyes* She's sassy and not afraid of speaking her mind. She thought you were a bit too ‘nerdy’, but you ‘seem nice’ and is good for me, so everything's okay.

T: This is what she told you. To me, she said that if I ever break your heart, she'll come hunt me personally.

J (giggling): I can't believe you're afraid of her! She's even shorter than me!

T: She's pretty intense, okay?

I: Onto our next letter… G - Gifts. Do you like giving each other gifts? What kind?

T: Yeah. I always try to find something that I think she'll like… or something that will make her remind of me. She loves when I give her a new jacket. *he rolls his eyes, a smile on his face* Chocolate is another thing that never fails, but doesn't last.

J: There's no such thing as too many jackets. And same; I try giving him something that I know he'll like. Like, a new comic, or game, when I have more money. And funkos! Tom has a collection of them in his parents house.

I: Now tell me anything involving H - Hugs.

J: Tom's hugs are miraculous. You might be having the worst day ever of your life, but it'll instantly get better if you hug Tomoichi Sato. And I like how his arms involve me. *she rests her head on his shoulder, grinning at him*

T: Julia's got the best hugs ever too. Like, she always will give that full hug, you know? Not that half-ass lame hug. And she hugs you so tightly, as if she's afraid to let you go.

J: I only hug you and Elliot like this. I like when he hugs me from behind too. I feel safe.

I: You two are going to make me cry with all this fluffiness. *the young couple laughs* Okay, I - Inside Jokes. Do you have any?

T: Oof, probably more than we can remember. We both can find amusement in pretty much everything and make jokes about it.

J: Yeah, we're two dorks at heart.

T: ...But I always tease Julia on how short she is.

J: And I am constantly calling Tom a nerd. Which is true.

I: Oooh, this one's interesting… J - Jealousy. Who gets jealous easier?

T: In the beginning of our relationship, I was more insecure, so I got more jealous… but then Julia told me that she's such a hard monogamist (like me), so now I'm good.

J: Yeah, I don't have eyes for anyone else. Once I truly care and fall in love… well, that's it for me. I was so happy when Tom asked me to be his girlfriend, you have no idea. And I am more jealous than him. I'm trying to change, but it isn’t easy. Especially with Tom always being so nice to everyone and he's so pure… he never realises when people are hitting on him. And it happens more frequently than I'd like.

T: I swear, that dude on your uni's party wasn't hitting on me, Julia…

J: of course he was! He deliberately asked your number.

T: Because I told him that I fix boats and he told me he had a problem with his yacht!

J: He doesn't have a yacht! He's a broke college student like me! Not a Pine Springs citizen! Most people doesn't own yachts, Tom.

I (who's very interested on their argument): And how do you show your jealousy?

T: Julia get's this scowl all over her face. And usually wants to get the hell out of whatever we are as soon as possible.

J (with a scowl): I don't get a scowl, okay?! And Tom makes a bunch of questions from the person he's jealous about (usually a friend of mine), pretending to not care, when he clearly cares. *she clears her throat and starts imitating him* 'Hm… is she a friend of yours? Where did you meet her? Do you study with her? How long have you known each other? have you noticed the way she looks at you?' and etc.

I: Okay, we don't want you two having a fight, so let's continue our interview… Ah, this one's cute: K - Kiss. How do you usually kiss? Who usually initiates?

J: Of course I'm the one who usually initiates. Tom's just too shy.

T (blushing): Well… I never know when it's appropriate to kiss. And if you want it.

J: I always want to kiss you, Tomo. And it's always appropriate to kiss me. *she smirks at him* I usually pull him in by his t-shirt and kiss him. Like this. *she shows to the interviewer and Tom lets out a surprised squeal* Then it can get hot and heavy very quickly…

T (still blushing): I like how she gets on her toes to kiss me. And then I lean in to meet her halfway.

*Julia giggles and kisses him again*

I: L - Love. How was the first time you told each other those famous three words?

T: Oof, it was right before those cultists tried to use Julia as a sacrifice and kill us all. To be honest, I hadn't known I was in love with her until that night. Until she told me that I was in love. But then it all made sense and I told her I loved her. *he smiles fondly at her, his arm around her waist, who rests her head on his shoulder again*

J: And then I told him that I loved him too right away. Can you imagine if one of us had died that night?

T: That would have been so fucking tragic. I don't even want to think that.

J: But at least we had told each other.

T: Which would have made even harder to get over you. I'm just so glad we're both here.

J: Me too. I love you, Tomoichi Sato. A damn lot.

T: I love you too, Julia Vance. More than you’ll ever know.

I: Jeez, I might start melting here with you two. M - Movies. I know you already told me you have different taste on movies… but is there a kind of movie you like to watch together? Is it a regular Netflix ritual?

T: Well, we both like The Crown and the Flame series. We've just started the second season. We like watching Harry Potter together too. And some Disney movies from our childhood. We both love Mulan and The Lion King.

J: Yeah. Since we have the same age, we usually watch movies from when we were kids. But Tom's a huge geek, so he loves sci-fi and superheroes movies. I prefer drama and thriller movies.

I: Do you know each other's favorite movie?

J: Tom's is Back to the Future. The first one, obviously.

T: Julia loves Millennium - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The Swedish version, with Noomi Rapace.

I: Interesting! Do you have any N - Nicknames for each other?

J: I call him 'Tomo', like his parents call him.

T (giggling devilishly): I sometimes call her "Pixie". Because of her hair cut and because she's small. *Julia rolls her eyes*

I: When did you realize your partner was the O - One?

T: I guess when she told me I was in love with her. On the Wescott's yacht, before they tried to kill us.

J: Same. When I saw that disgusting cultist with that knife on your throat… *Julia clenches her hands into fists, her knuckles white with the grip. Tom rests his hand on top of hers, calming her down* oh boy, I turned into a mess. I thought I was going to lose him. I was terrified.

T: And when she climbed on Arthur's boat to save him and Elliot and face Josephine… I confirmed she was the one for me. I got so scared I'd never see her again. I wanted to go together, but she prohibited me.

J (smiling at him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear): I told you I'd be back for you.

I: P - Pizza. What is your favorite food to eat together?

J (chuckling): Definitely not pizza. He likes pineapple on pizza. Ew.

T: As we told you before, we're always trying on new foods together. But the comfort food we found in common is pancakes. I guess we told you on the other interview that we make them together, right?

I: Oh yes, I do remember that. Okay, Q - Quit. Have you broke up? Almost broke up? What happened?

T: Uh, I don't like remembering this, but… on our last fight we almost broke up. But we got back together on the same day. Well, kinda.

J: I guess the whole long distance relationship, plus my jealousy and Tom's obliviousness and our nearly zero experience on dating led to that argument. Pizza was even involved.

I: Oh, it does sound pretty serious! How do you comfort each other on dark days, on R - Rainy Days?

J: Well… since my parents' deaths… I've had nightmares and terrible insomnia. There are days that I can barely sleep. But Tom sings some lullabies his grandma used to sing to him and it always helps me calm down and fall asleep. He won't ever admit it, but he sings greatly.

T: Thanks, Pixie. *he grins shyly* Cuddling sure helps a lot too. When I'm having my gloomier days, she buys me my favorite snacks and we spend the whole day playing video or board games.

I: This is the sweetest thing I've ever heard! By the way, it there something your partner did or does that makes you S - Soft?

T: I like when she idly plays with my hair. And calls me ‘Tomo’. *she giggles to the stupidly goofy smile on his lips*

J: Whenever he sings I turn into this useless mush. And when he cooks something to me. It might not be that good, but I'll eat everything.

T: Wait, have I ever cooked something that wasn't good?!

J (clearly avoiding his question): What's the next letter?

I: Do you T - Text each other a lot? What do you usually talk about?

T: All the time.

J: Yeah, we text each other daily. Especially when we're apart. We usually just talk about how was our day.

T: Oh, and if something happened and it reminded us of each other. It's basically just a bunch of memes!

I: What about sexting?

*Tom's face turns red*

J: We tried once, but I didn't like it. I prefer dirty talking, you know? Didn't see the appeal on that eggplant emoji. It's sexier hearing his voice.

I (laughing): Okay, I feel you. Hmm, tell our readers something U - Unique of your odd habits that surprised one another?

T: Well, that mug case was very surprising. You know, about Julia being so possessive about her things. And for someone who hates practicing sports, she surely can dance all night long. You'd be surprised on how many times I caught her dancing by herself when cooking or cleaning the house. And whenever we go out or go to sleep she has to check if every door and window is locked. But I guess that's understandable after all we had to go through.

J: Tom has this odd habit of sitting on the floor instead of a comfy chair or on the couch or bed. There's a sofa right there, but he'll prefer sitting on the floor while playing his games, for example. I stopped trying to understand him.

T: The floor is comfy! *she shakes her head*

I: V - Vanity. Is there something you're proud of yourself and your partner?

J: To be honest, it's pretty impressive how we're still together. It's been over a year since we've started dating. This is our first serious relationship for both of us, so I guess we're doing good, especially because we're on a long distance relationship. It's not easy making it work, but I knew we would handle it.

T: Yeah. I guess the best thing is that she's my best friend too (Andy still is!) and I'm hers. We had some bumps in the way, but we learned to tell each other everything. And respect our differences and our own personal space. We got each other's back and we trust in us.

I: A beautiful answer. Let me see what's our next letter, it's finally ending, guys… Oh. W - Wedding. Have you guys thought about it? Talked about it?

J (red as a tomato): We… we never talked about it, right, Tomo?

T ( also red as a tomato): No…

I: It doesn't necessarily have to be about a wedding itself. You can tell me if you talked about what's next to your relationship. If you got any plans for the future.

J (relaxing a little): Well, if everything goes well… After Tom graduates, we plan on living together. Not marrying or anything… Not yet, at least… Just living together… *she blushes harder as she gets more tongue tied* I'm currently living on Pine Springs again, now that I graduated and got a job there… I'm living with my grandpa and Elliot and have been saving money to rent an apartment in the future…

T: Yeah, and I intend to go back to Oregon as soon as I graduate… I talked to Lily and we have some plans on maybe funding a startup… And I just miss my parents, Julia and my friends. I still got a year and half until I finally graduate, so nothing's certain… Just a lot of dreams and plans…

I (smiling at them): I'm sorry to put you two in this situation. Are you looking forward to the future? Are you excited on living together?

T: Hell yeah! I can't wait to live with her. I guess it'll be an adventure. Maybe our greatest adventure even. *he chuckles*

J: I bet we'll argue about whose turn is to take the trash out and who's going to make dinner and etc, but I believe we'll handle it. *she blushes slightly* ...But I confess I kinda have a playlist of songs I'd like to play on my wedding…

T: What?! I want to listen to them!

I: Alright, next letter… X. Something you hate about each other.

T: I know it's unconscious, but I hate how she keeps tapping her foot or fidgeting her fingers when she's feeling restless. It annoys and distracts me.

J: I just can't stand on how Tom can live his life knowing that there's a pile of dishes on his sink to be washed, whenever I go visit him in Hartfeld. I always end up washing it myself. And Tom never reminds to lower the toilet lit.

I: Oh good, these things are normal to get irritated to. Y - YouTube. What are you like online? Do you post about your relationship constantly?

T and J (together): No.

T: To be honest, it took some time until my friends who I don't talk to frequently realised we were dating.

J: Yeah. I guess, since we live far apart, we don't have many opportunities to post about it on our social media. And when we're together, we certainly spend our time and have our attention on each other, not on the internet. Though I love posting those embarrassing pics and videos of him on my Instastories. *chuckles*

I: What about PDA?

T: When we're aware of people around us, we limit to holding hands and kissing on the cheek, forehead, a quick peck.

J: Yeah, we don't like having people watching. Although sometimes we can lose ourselves in the moment… And end up being caught. Danni told me she saw you grabbing my boob that time we went to play basketball, do you remember?

T: Oh crap! In my defense, I didn't know they were there watching us!

J (giggling): I know, Tom, I know.

I: We have finally reached our last letter! Z - Zoo. Are you two into animals? Do you want pets? What kind?

T: We both like pets! Julia's friends with the strangest animals ever! An otter, a coyote, an owl, a zombie bunny…

J: But I wouldn't have them as my pets. I've always wanted to have a dog, but my parents wouldn't let us have it because of our apartment complex policy. *she turns to her boyfriend* We even talked about adopting a dog, didn't we? When we live together?

T: Yeah. If we survive each other. I had a dog when I was a kid and, oh man, I loved her. Jester was the best. I would like to have another. But first I need to graduate and we need to find a place that allows pets. And we have to have enough money to sustain us two and a dog.

J: And the problem is that you only like big dogs.

T: The bigger, the goofier!

I: Alright, and with this we conclude our interview! Thank you two for kindly sharing your time with us! And I hope everyone enjoyed it!

Tagging: @littlecrookedheart @pixelburied @mysticgayralsei @breaumonts @abbiebishops @madhattterusagi @noahpologiste @danni-asturias @mysteli @indiacater @indescribablechoices @emomoustache @choices-fanatic @edgydepressedchoicesthot @violarobics @withoutanyconfidence @tiz-rex @priya-trash @alicegma @thequeenchoices @endlessflame @ludextruction

#tom sato #tomoichi sato #julia vance #tom x mc #it lives beneath #ilb #playchoices #choices fanfic #ilb fanfic #playchoices fanfic #playchoices fanfiction

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squigglysquidd · 5 years

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Author Meme

I was tagged by @palavenearthliaison. Thanks so much!

I don’t know who hasn’t been tagged, but feel free friends :)

Author Name: Squigglysquidd on Tumblr and Twitter, squiggly_squid on Ao3, and squigglysquid on FFN (confusing, right? lol)

Fandoms You Write For: I write solely for Mass Effect because, to tell the truth, I haven’t really been that into other fandoms enough to want to write for them. I’m a fan, but I think the fact that the PC can be so customizable is what helps me want to write fanfiction. I can shape Shepard to suit my story and the games did such a good job creating characters that I have something to go off of. Plus, who doesn’t like turians?

Where You Post: I post mainly on Ao3, but have kept my stuff up to date on FFN because there are still a few readers there. I occasionally share a one-shot/snippet or two that are Tumblr only, so my Tumblr followers get a little special something every so often other readers who don’t follow me do ;)

Most Popular One-Shot: I’m going to go by hits on Ao3 since I think that’s the best way to tell if it’s popular or not because not every reader gives kudos. That’s Palliative, where Garrus post-Omega and rocket is seen through Chellick’s POV while Garrus is searching for information on Fade. I’m actually really happy people like it because it was definitely a new style of writing for me at the time.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Juxtaposed, without a doubt (going by hits on Ao3). I’m not surprised, but then again, it is my oldest fic, so that might also play a big part.

Favorite Story You Wrote: I have to choose just one? :( Well, I guess if I have to, I would say my favorite is Juxtaposed because it’s my very first and my first step into writing fanfiction. It’s my baby, flaws and all, and it’s created a whole universe with Jane and Garrus that’s still open to grow once I finally get back to it (after revisions, I hope with fingers crossed).

Story You Were Nervous to Post: I was actually nervous to post both Umbrus Nocturni and Fibonacci (the first time before it got a small following) because they’re AUs. I mean, who’d have expected turian vampires? Also, I’ve seen that not many people like fics with two Shepards and, on top of that, I was completely changing the genre. But I got a decent response from the first posting of it that I felt encouraged and, with some playing of Skyrim and Witcher, I grew enough confidence to say ‘what the hell’ and started making a lore codex. People liking that made me feel much better about posting the new fic itself, so I thank those who were enthusiastic about the worldbuilding.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Hmm .... Well, Juxtaposed came from the lyrics of a Tool song, Schism where it talked about the juxtaposition of two lovers. That fit pretty well considering I was showing how they came together despite differences. After that, it sort of became a thing for me to use one-word titles. Pretty much all my long fics’ titles are one words and it’s usually a synonym (oftentimes an uncommonly used one) to a word that best describes the fic as a whole or the major plot point of it.

Do You Outline: Sorta yes? I outlined Parable quite a bit since the beginning, but it wasn’t always a complete outline from the beginning of a fic and often had only basic points. I would then add little details to it as I went along when I got an idea for a later chapter. I write linearly so I’d forget ideas unless I write them down. With Umbrus Nocturni, I was much more lack with my outline because I had a good flow with what I wanted and the plot is pretty simple, just needing details and expansions to it. I still jot down ideas as I go, but it’s pretty straight forward. For Fibonacci, I don’t have an outline because it’ll follow canon for the most part, but I do have the Codex for lore. However, I plan to go through and make some small quests for them as they travel to help expand the fic and world. I’ll have to write those down because canon doesn’t really have anything I can work with because of the very different genre.

Complete: Counting one-shots, 28. If we’re just talking multichapter fics, then just 8.

In-Progress: In total, 5. Only one is a fic of separate one-shots, The ABCs of Smut.

Coming Soon: None that I know of, lol. There’s a possibility I may make some one-shots here and there when I get the idea for one.

Do You Accept Prompts: Only if they’re for fics that are either one-shots or short stories. I don’t want to take on any more long fics right now. If I do get a possible long fic idea, though, I could always put it away somewhere for later.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Again, I don’t really have any upcoming stories. All the ones that I have open are the only ones I’m working on. I guess Efflux could count in the long run because it has the longest waiting list because I want to go through Parable and revise stuff.

Thanks for the @!

#Author meme #about me #squigglysquidd

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emritcheson · 5 years

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It’s Okay to Love The Muppets as an Adult

I was introduced to Jim Henson’s Muppets the way a lot of kids were in the nineties: through Sesame Street. But I was also familiar with the Muppets proper (Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Rowlf...basically anybody who wasn’t a Sesame Street regular) through some VHS tapes my parents bought me. I loved them both with all my heart, but let me tell you: despite the fact that Kermit made numerous appearances on Sesame Street, it took me an embarrassingly long while to figure out that these characters all stemmed from the same source.

Yes, the structural similarities and the fact that both franchises are mainly composed of, you know...puppets are very obvious. But to me, there was always a distinct tonal line between Sesame Street and the Muppets. Sesame Street was silly, yes, but the Muppets were wackier, more random, and weren’t afraid to layer on the sarcasm. Sesame Street was a fresh glass of milk, while the Muppets were a gently aged cheese with just a bit of funkiness that made trying something like bleu cheese sound easier, but then you went back to the other cheese because bleu cheese is actually kind of gross.

You can tell I’ve been watching too much Bon Appétit when I start using food metaphors.

Now, I was familiar with the Muppets in general thanks to those VHS tapes, but I was only vaguely familiar with specific projects they did over the years. Like, I knew they more or less “got their start” on The Muppet Show, but I couldn’t tell you a thing about it. It wasn’t until late high school, maybe even early college that I started actively seeking out any footage of the show I could find. It was funny, and right up my alley kind of funny, too. A mouth-watering blend of slapstick, wordplay, plain old nonsense, and just a sprinkling of deadpan cynicism. Not to mention the musical segments and the casual, down to Earth interactions with the human guest stars. It’s since become my favorite way to enjoy the Muppets...much to the chagrin of my parents.

There have been countless times when my dad has walked in on my watching The Muppet Show, rolled his eyes, and made some comment to the effect of “How old are you?” or “When are you going to stop watching kids’ shows?” I was confused and defensive, because as far as I could see, there wasn’t anything decisively kiddish about The Muppet Show. It was appropriate for a younger audience, yes, but it wasn’t treating the audience like children, nor was it completely devoid of individual jokes targeted at adults.

For example, Raquel Welch in a low-cut dressing gown serenading and tickling Fozzie Bear, with this dialogue exchange:

Fozzie: Oh, Raquel, you are terrific. Raquel: On the contrary, Fozzie. You’re the one that’s terrific. Fozzie: Me? Raquel: Uh huh. You know, just being here kinda close to you, I’ve noticed that you’re really very charming. Fozzie: Charming? Raquel: Mm hm. And even witty. Fozzie: And even witty! Raquel: In fact, I think you’re very sexy. Fozzie: Say again? Raquel: I think you’re sensational.

Like, that’s definitely something you’d never see on Sesame Street.

There are dozens of other examples, but for most people the Sesame Street influence is so strong that they don’t even bother to look. They just shrug and say, “Well, it’s puppets. It’s got to be a kid thing, right?”

Wrong, sir.

Jim Henson never wanted to pigeonhole his Muppets into exclusively children’s entertainment. Even before Sesame Street was a thing, he wanted to create a show that all ages could enjoy. Children, adults, teenagers, and everyone in between. He wanted to push the boundaries of puppeteering as an art form. And yes, I hear you cry, nine times out of ten author’s intent doesn’t mean diddly squat in comparison to the actual product, but Henson actually talked the talk and walked the walk.

I also agree that there have definitely been individual Muppet productions that are geared for a younger audience, such as Muppet Babies. But this is not the case for the entire franchise. ABC made a reboot show simply titled The Muppets back in 2015, and although pretty much everyone has cold feelings about its execution as a whole, it definitely took a more mature tone with some of its humor.

Yet, the original Muppet Show did not cater specifically to either side of the age spectrum. It was just good, clean fun. And just because the characters are made of felt and nobody’s losing pints of blood, swearing like sailors, or having sex all over the place doesn’t mean it’s not for adults.

There’s a great bit where German actress Elke Sommer sings “Animal Crackers in My Soup” three different ways, and it beautifully explains this balance. Go watch it. It’s a blast.

This is also the time to mention that this entire article was directly inspired by Defunctland’s new Jim Henson documentary series, specifically episode 2, “The Curse of Sesame Street.” Even if you’re only a casual Henson fan, I highly recommend it. It’s high quality and incredibly insightful.

#the muppets #jim henson #the muppet show #sesame street #kermit the frog #original article

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