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pennylanewrites · 3 years

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I got seven different asks about the College AU so here are some headcanons I have about them! (imagine aiura is in the picture I couldn’t find a good one with all of them)

I definitely didn’t mean to make this so long but I can’t help it I love them all so much<3

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Saiki Kusuo

→ marine!!!biology!!!major!!!!!!!!

→ doesn’t need to study but he still does bc he finds marine life so fascinating

→ read all of his textbooks on the first day bc he was so excited eeeek

→ always wears his germanium ring in class so he can stay hashtag focused

→ him and aiura have to bail toritsuka(didn’t go to college) out of jail once a month

→ speaking of aiura, she somehow has convinced him to go on a date on five different occasions

→ i think after high-school he realised he didn’t mind a kind of casual not-relationship with her

→ lets her hug him to greet him and sometimes he hugs back bc college boys stare a lot and he is just worried for her okay?

→ maybe I’m just projecting bc I kin aiura

→ does not go to parties unless he absolutely has to

→ if he does go to a party he’ll drink something quietly in a corner, just watching the crowd

→ a perv laced Teruhashi’s drink and almost lured her up the stairs so of fucking course Kusuo sprinted to help her, holding her on the way home bc men are drawn to her like bees to honey

→ she didn’t let him live it down ever

→ he rented a studio apartment and keeps it super clean, minimum clutter but enough to look lived in

→ cooks amazing food that Nendo smells from upstairs and next thing you know, they’re all bringing chairs to Kusuo’s apartment and have dinner

→ nothing excuses the fact he makes at least eight servings every time–

→ such a dad to everyone honestly

→ usually studies at a library or teleports back home if there’s a big test

→ mrs. saiki was banned from visiting every two days but she still ends up there somehow

→ not that he minds bc he’s the biggest mama’s boy ever

→ probably graduates a year early

→ doesn’t move away even though he got a job at the aquarium at the other side of the city help–

Kaidou Shun

→ fine arts major you can NOT change my mind

→ doesn’t do good in theoretical subjects but mans can draw some good bowls of fruit

→ wears those stained from the paints t-shirts all the time bc ‘no they’re not dirty it’s art!’

→ him and aren have small designated spaces in their apartment so they can focus on their hobbies/studying

→ his corner at the living room has newspapers on the floor to protect it from the splattering paint, some canvases propped up on the wall and a lot of unfinished projects

→ hides all of them when Nendou comes over

→ can not cook or clean to save his life

→ so he calls his mum to help clean up when Aren is at work

→ got over his 8th grader syndrome at some point

→ still wears red bandages bc he’s edgy

→ volunteers at the neighborhood exhibit centre

→ got asked to showcase his own works for a night and hasn’t shut up about it since

→ goes to yumehara for relationship advice and braids her hair as a thank you

→ couples sleepovers with Yumehara and Teruhashi (yes they’re dating shut up)

→ always makes something for Aren at special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries etc)

→ at first he went back home every saturday bc he missed his family :(

→ Aren helps him get over it though!!!!

Nendou Riki

→ got in on a sports scholarship

→ we already know he couldn’t be accepted in a college otherwise

→ in the chiropractic major bc he wants to be one of those athlete doctors

→ has failed way too many exams and classes

→ Hairo helps him so much though!!!

→ the last one in the group to graduate but somehow gets a job first (excluding Saiki)

→ him and hairo get up at 5 am for jogging or to hit the gym

→ and then he goes and gets noodles bc ‘if noodles aren’t for breakfast why do shops open at 6 am?’

→ hasn’t stepped foot in class in months

→ he gets decent grades after failing the first semester and it’s totally not Saiki’s doing

→ he ends up signing up for way too many clubs

→ attends all of the meetings and has so many friends through them

→ I would be his friend too in college honestly

→ a fraternity wanted to get him bc he’s so good at sports

→ he declined bc he does not understand how fraternities even work

→ is the life of EVERY SINGLE PARTY change my mind you can’t

→ whatever you do don’t imagine nendo surprising his boyfriend with flowers after every practice

→ *dies cutely*

Kuboyasu Aren

→ SOCIOLOGY MAJOR

→ idk I just think he would enjoy Marx’s Capital

→ debate club? hell yeah

→ gets in philosophical conversations at the school yard for HOURS

→ kaidou has to drag him away

→ only shops at thrift stores and makes coffee at home bc “capitalism is not accepted in this household”

→ rides his motorcycle to college even though he lives five minutes away

→ grew his hair out in a mullet again and he looks *chef’s kiss*

→ thought he would be moving too fast if he asked Kaidou to rent an apartment together

→ aiura convinced him it was fine

→ cooks kaidou’s favorite foods every day

→ participates in student rallies, human rights protests etc etc

→ comes home with bruises and kaidou thinks he looks so hot but still yells at him

→ Aren’s favorite place to study is his balcony or at a coffee shop

→ always with kaidou! cute boyfriends who do everything together!!

→ gets so drunk when they go out

→ drunk karaoke with kokomi yes yes yes

Hairo Kineshi

→ did someone say Athletic Training?

→ does every single sport and is amazing at it

→ will cheer for his bf if they have a game at the same time though

→ it was his idea to move in together bc ‘hey we’ve been dating for three years now might as well’

→ volunteers at a nearby elementary as a coach for the kids

→ SO GOOD WITH KIDS

→ wants to be a P.E. Teacher and he’s going to be great at it

→ does everything he can at campus

→ helping random clubs, making posters, cleaning up the hallways, helping the cheer squad with their new routine

→ dances ballet as a hobby even though he’s so good at it that he could be a professional

→ makes everything a competition with Nendo so they never get bored

→ once made everyone get up to jog with them and they ended up sleeping on random benches while Hairo and Nendo were halfway across town

→ will punch someone if he sees them catcalling a girl

→ doesn’t drink at all and eats super healthy

→ designated driver for the group’s outings downtown

Aiura Mikoto

→ THEATER MAJOR

→ is so good at stage acting it’s unreal

→ lands the lead role almost every time

→ is also an amazing singer so she gets great roles in musicals as well

→ doesn’t have to get a job bc she gets all her money from doing readings on campus

→ gets coffees and pastries from all the coffee shops around campus and sits Kusuo down so he can taste them

→ they have a little taste-testing date in his apartment until they decide none of them are as good as the ones at Cafe Mami

→ she totally doesn’t make him teleport there every morning and he totally doesn’t listen to her

→ moved in with chiyo bc they wanted a nice place that they couldn’t afford on their own

→ teruhashi told them to move in with her but they already loved their little place

→ aiura’s bedroom is the most comfortable and cozy room ever

→ their apartment is also the hang out spot for the group bc it’s just so homey

→ hangs out with her theatre group a lot, especially after class

→ they can’t compare to her friends though:(

→ everyone goes to her when they’re worried and she loves it bc she’s the mummy of the group

→ she makes everyone coffee and their comfort food before big exams:)

Yumehara Chiyo

→ psychology major one thousand percent

→ you know how they say that people choose psychology bc they don’t know what major they want?

→ that’s exactly what happened except she fell in love with it immediately

→ such a good student!!!

→ always does her assignments on time and still manages to have a social life

→ teruhashi asked her out at the end of their first semester and that’s the first time chiyo missed a deadline

→ practically lives with teruhashi, insisting it’s just to leave aiura alone

→ she’s just IN LOVE OKAY?????

→ would want to be a sorority girl at first

→ changed her mind when she realized how much shit they all talked

→ her and kaidou drink wine and talk about their relationships and studies

→ she’s so sleep deprived it’s unreal

→ she doesn’t need sleep anymore though

→ coffee is her best friend

→ makes asks Aiura for readings twice a week

→ brings all her psychology friends home and they analyze their textbooks

→ once she got the hang of it, she decided to examine Kusuo

→ she told him he needs actual medical evaluation

→ he almost threw her out the window when she offered some Xanax for his nerves

→ chiyo is a neat freak one hundred percent

→ hates when Aiura throws everything on the floor, but she loves cleaning

→ opens her own office after school

Teruhashi Kokomi

→ PRE-MED

→ lesbian doctor :)

→ just wanted to get away from her perv brother at first

→ she always wanted to be a doctor though, preferably a neurosurgeon

→ she’s super duper smart and hates when she gets good grades bc of her good looks:(

→ makes it her goal to show her professors that she’s more than a beautiful girl

→ hasn’t failed a single exam

→ helps everyone with their studies even though she’s drowning in work

→ drops the perfect girl image at college and decides she should try and aim for something normal

→ gets invited to every single party

→ in a knitting club bc it would get disbanded without one more member

→ knits!!!matching!!!sweaters!!!for all of her friends!!!

→ asked Chiyopipi out while drunk

→ never regretted it though

→ her and aren get so drunk when they go out with the group

→ it’s honestly unreal how much they can drink before passing out

→ has to get carried home

→ wakes up after getting drunk and runs to her class before remembering it’s Sunday

→ her penthouse has the perfect view of the sunset and sunrise and is all she could ask for in life

→ does get lonely so she’s practically living with Chiyo and Aiura

→ once she realized she didn’t like boys she made it her goal to get Saiki and Aiura together

→ people wonder how she has so much time to play matchmaker and volunteer while she’s in premed

→ does her internship at a hospital

→ ends up working there as a neurosurgeon after her Doctorate degree

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syubub · 3 years

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May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #yoongi #bts imagines #bts readings #yoongi imagine #bts suga #min suga #suga #min yoongi

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

Forgiving - Tom Holland

alright so this was vaguely based on a dream i had? idk how to feel about it, but i felt the need to write it bc it’s been on my mind for two days so here we are.

summary: You and Tom like to experiment sexually. After having your first ever threesome with him and an unknown guy you realize it was not what you wanted but you’re afraid to come clear to Tom.

word count: 2.3k

warning: slightly sexual? kinda NSFW, not too detailed threesome, some emotional stuff going on i reall don’t know

masterlist

Sex has always been about experiments for you. Ever since the beginning, your curiosity has been driving you along to try more things, find what you like, expand your boundaries. It has been all about being pleasured and to pleasure. Through the years you can easily say you’ve tried more than the average, explored unknown territories from time to time, mapped your own body, figured out what works best for you. It was all just about satisfaction, not too much about the emotions, until you met Tom.

The shy smiles he sent you at the pub that night, keeping his gaze fixed on your while his friends were trying to catch his attention, he surely caught your eye. He luckily worked up the courage to talk to you, ending up talking with you for hours before it was closing hours. The two of you exchanged numbers without hesitation and the rest is history. It’s been almost an entire year and you are confident to say you are completely and utterly in love with him. You found the person who doesn’t just clicks with you on the field of humor, interests and passions… but he shares your curiosity about undiscovered levels of sex.

You still remember the open and honest conversation you had with him just two months into the relationship. You felt nervous to bring it up, a little scared about his reaction, but he seemed just as excited as you, interested to try out things you’ve already did. It took the two of you some time to catch up with each other and get to the part where new things were unexplored by the both of you.

Experiencing these things with Tom made it all way more intense than before. The trust and love you’ve been feeling since the beginning turned it into something so much more intimate and memorable. See him grow, delving into sides of himself he hasn’t connected with and just be there for him, with him, makes you feel fulfilled. It surely brings you another level of satisfaction you haven’t been able to experience with anyone else.

You don’t think anything into it when the idea of having a threesome comes up. It has surely been a thought you played with, but didn’t feel ready yet. However, when it just casually comes up between the two of you one evening, you are surprised to see how interested Tom has been too.

“Definitely thought about it,” he hums to himself, glancing up at you from his phone while you lie next to him, tugged under the covers comfortably.

“In which setup?” you question, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip.

“Both,” he confidently answers. “But I have to admit, I thought more about the two women one man version,” he smirks and you smile back at him.

“Yeah? Had anyone in mind for the third party?”

“Not specifically, no,” he truthfully admit and you believe him. An agreement has been made in the beginning to be open and honest about anything regarding your experiments and you trust Tom with keeping his word as you do the same.

“How about you, Darling?”

“I have a few celebrities in mind, but that doesn’t count,” you smirk at him coyly before bringing back the seriousness into the conversation. “Would you want to give it a try?”

Tom thinks about it, clearly chewing his answer before he nods shortly, his eyes returning to yours.

“I think yes. But only with a person we would never ever meet again.”

“I agree,” you smile at him.

Somehow, in the upcoming weeks, the situation progresses fairly and quite steadily. Following a few more discussions you end up choosing to have another man participate in your intimate session and the two of you reach out to a professional party, wanting to make sure you don’t just fetch someone up from the street. You choose a guy based on three photos and a short description. His name is Lucas and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, it all seems like it’s going to go smoothly, he is even up for signing and NDA, something you both agreed would be essential in your current situation.

You don’t feel particularly nervous that evening you and Tom head to the hotel where you booked a room for the occasion. It was evident you wouldn’t let the third party into your bedroom, so Tom was quick to look for a room.

Holding hands, you arrive and check in, Lucas texts you that he’ll be arriving in ten when you walk into the elegant looking room. The bed is huge, could easily fit three people and you bet Tom paid extra attention to this detail.

“Hey,” Tom catches your attention when there’s still a few minutes until Lucas arrives. His hand slides into yours, squeezing it gently. “Whenever you want it to stop, just tell me, alright?” he softly tells you and it warms your heart to know that he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable with whatever happens.

“Same goes for you,” you smile at him. Leaning down he kisses you lovingly, murmuring a quiet I love you before letting go of you.

All your past experiences in sex couldn’t prepare you to what a threesome would bring to you.

It all starts just fine. Lucas is just as likable as you thought, completely open to anything you had in mind. Tom has one rule that he makes clear in the beginning: Lucas can’t kiss you, that’s just for him. And that’s a rule you easily agree with.

After a short round of do’s and don’ts you finally get down to business. Right from the beginning there’s a slightly numbing feeling in the back of your mind that you just can’t put anywhere and you are not even paying enough attention to it to figure it out. One thing follows the other and you are so focused on what’s in front of you that you are too overwhelmed to analyze your own feelings that keep just piling inside you, pushed down inside your guts until they finally erupt.

It’s happens when Lucas is inside you for the first time. Immediately, you think it must just be the unfamiliarity that you are too used to Tom, so you keep going, focusing on your boyfriend who is kissing you in the meanwhile, ushering his hand to his erection. You’re eager to please him first and utmost, but each time Lucas slides inside you, it’s like something breaks in you.

You don’t want him to be inside you. You don’t want anyone else either, just Tom. It doesn’t feel right, you want to stop it, but then you get scared, because it seems like Tom is enjoying himself and you don’t want to ruin the experience for him. So swallowing your tears you keep going until your body refuses to continue. As you get off of Lucas, you try your best to make it look like you just want a change, your hands eagerly pull Tom with you, urging him to take Lucas’ place and when you finally feel him inside you, you still can’t enjoy it the way you’d want. Clinging onto him, you are breathlessly praying to forget what it feels like to be touched by someone else than him, but the foreign, burning feeling of Lucas’ touch still stains your skin and you wish you could just shed it, get rid of it. Burn it.

Drained. That’s how you feel when the night eventually ends. Lucas doesn’t stay any longer, he thank you both that you chose him and wishes you a great rest of the night before he takes off. Lying in bed, you are still fighting your tears back, feeling nothing like yourself. You hear Tom making his way back to the bed, but before he could see the torn expression on your face, you quickly jump out of bed and lock yourself up in the bathroom. With no clothes on, you don’t waste any time to stand under the hot water, hoping it would wash away this restless feeling. Sitting down in the walk-in shower you take some time to figure out what you really feel.

You remember clearly the lustful look in Tom’s eyes, the way he seemed to be enjoying it fully. And you just now realize that’s what hurt more. That it didn’t affect him the way it affected you. Feeling another man do things only Tom does to you made you want to scream, it simply didn’t feel right and you wanted it to end. While it seemed like he didn’t. Like he didn’t mind seeing you with another man and it makes you question if he loves you the same way you love him.

Didn’t he feel jealous? Did he like seeing you like that? Didn’t he want it to stop? The questions flood your mind entirely, making it impossible for you to think about anything else.

Time is completely forgotten as you remain seated on the ground, the water flowing down your face, mixing with your salty tears. You didn’t even realize the bathroom door opens and Tom walks in.

“Y/N?” he calls out and your eyes snap up at him, meeting his gaze that’s filled with despair and confusion. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, immediately getting inside the spacious shower, kneeling down, his arms going to wrap around you, but you move away and he freezes as a sob erupts from you. “Fuck, baby, please talk to me! What’s wrong?” he begs, desperate to figure out what’s gotten you so shaken up, but you don’t feel like you are able to talk. You just cry and cry and he stay right there until you feel like there are no more tears to shed.

“I fucking hated it,” you breathe out eventually, not even daring to look him in the eyes. “I fucking hated that he wasn’t you. I didn’t want anyone else, just you.”

“Why didn’t you tell?” he asks and you can tell he is getting mad now and he has every right. He told you to speak up if something doesn’t sit right with you, yet you chose to keep your mouth shut about it. You sniff before daring to look into his eyes again, feeling smaller than ever, like you were nothing in that moment.

“Because you liked it. I didn’t want to ruin it for you,” you admit truthfully and Tom exhales sharply through his nose. It feels like eternity until he finally speaks up.

“I didn’t,” he simply says and your mouth falls open.

“What?”

“I didn’t like it.”

“Really? But you looked like… I thought—“

“Darling, you always seem to forget that I’m an actor. I pretend for a living,” he states matter-of-factly.

“How would you pretend to have a fucking erection?” you snap, letting your arms to fall from around your knees. Tom lets out a soft chuckle.

“My imagination was proved to be stronger than I expected. I wished he was gone the whole time. Fucking hated seeing someone else touch you like I do.”

“So then why didn’t you speak up?” you ask the same question he prompted just a few seconds ago.

“Because I thought you were enjoying it.”

His eyes are soft on you and most importantly: forgiving.

“We were proper idiots,” you breathe out, hands reaching out for him as you finally let him scoop you into his arms, your head lying on his naked chest.

“Seems like we both broke out rule,” he mumbles, his hands continuously brushing up and down your bare back and arms.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just wanted you to enjoy it, I love knowing that I get to give you all these new feelings.”

“I’m sorry too, baby. I was afraid you’d think of me different if I didn’t go through with it.”

Lifting your head up you look into his eyes as you cup his face in your palms, your thumbs gently caressing his cheeks.

“I could never see you differently, Tom. I just want you to be happy and satisfied with me.”

“I am. Always.”

Pulling him down your lips meet his and you are finally able to kiss him without feeling any guilt. He kisses you back passionately, as if he is trying to strengthen the words he just spoke.

“I have a new rule,” he says out of breath when he pulls back.

“What is it?”

“From now on, sex is just about us. No third party.”

“Tattoo this on me, I don’t want to live by any other rules,” you blurt out making him laugh and you smile seeing him with that wide grin.

“Alright. Come on, I think we both need to sleep it off,” he tells you as he helps you up from the floor.

Though you’d love to replace your bruised feelings about sex with some new experiences with the only man you love, for now you still just want to lie in bed with his arms around you and that’s exactly what happens.

Not bearing to stay in the hotel room any longer, the two of you quickly pack everything up and go straight home. Stripping from all your clothes you’re quick to climb under the covers and make yourself comfortable in the safety of your own bed that still only holds the sweet mixture of your and Tom’s scent. He wraps his arms tight around you as you nuzzle against his side, a hand lying flat on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat under your palm.

“I love you,” you whisper quietly, pressing a kiss to his abdomen as he squeezes you gently.

“I love you too,” he mumbles, already half asleep, but you know his words hold the truth.

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh @shawn-youth @wildflower-cth @imaginashawnns @haute-shawn @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @cutepenguin1 @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot @bookwormmusiclover15 @dontworrysunflower

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

#tom #holland #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland oneshot #tom holland smut #tom holland one shot #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader

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keichan · 4 years

Text

Mutual Interest

Request: AAAAA IM IN NEED FOR SUM OSAMU X SHY READER where she loves to cook like him and they meet through a library bc she’s finding new recipes and they both want the same book and bc of that they become friends and then he tries to confess! Adding the team trying to help him too lmaoo ✨✨

A/N: midterms do b kickin my ass! Happy birthday twins! MIYA SUPREMECY

Warnings: Swearing

WC: 4.2k

★Osamu x Reader ★

It was a quiet afternoon in the public library. You wandered down the cookbook isles with your hands in the pockets of your sweatpants, peering through the shelves. Lately you feel like you’ve run out of ideas for your cooking. You were so occupied with your eyes glued to the shelves, you didn’t even notice that someone was right in front of you.

You collided to the side of a tall boy around your age. Heat quickly rushed to your cheeks and you bowed whispering a brief apology. You avoided his gaze as he reassured you it wasn’t a big deal before his back turned away from you.

You caught a glimpse of his jacket reading the words ‘Inarizaki Volleyball Club’. It was a neighboring school close to yours was the only thought in your head before you returned your focus back to the shelves. Your hands hovered over a book that caught your eye. You gently pull it off the shelf before analyzing the cover.

“Damn, I’ve been looking for that one this entire time.” The voice of the boy before rang in your ear. You pull the book to your chest before turning around to meet a pair of startling gray eyes.

“S-sorry, I don’t think there’s another copy.” You stuttered.

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “It’s just kind of a bummer, every time I’ve come here, it’s always gone.”

You look down at your sneakers, teetering on your heels nervously.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it! So do you like to cook? I think I’ve seen you here a few times. In this section I mean.”

You nod with your gaze to the ground.

“It’s definitely my favorite thing to do.”

“Really?” Excitement flooded his voice. He leaned down to meet your gaze. His eyes bore into yours. “I love to cook! If it’s not too strange I was going to cook some agemochi for a small lunch time snack. I hope it’s not too weird to invite you to my place. Maybe I could browse over the book!”

You didn’t know the tall gray-haired boy at all… But agemochi was definitely one of your favorite things to eat…

“Only because of the agemochi.” Your head snapped towards his followed with a confident nod. He clapped his hands together (silently) with a coy smile etched on his lips.

“Perfect! Let’s go…” he tilted his head at you.

“L/N F/N.”

He began walking to the book checkout. “Let’s go, L/N F/N. Also my name is Miya Osamu.”

Luckily for you, Miya Osamu lived between your home and the library.

He halted at his front door fumbling for his keys. He paused to turn to you with a blank look on his face. “I just want to tell you now, if my brother is home, I’m so sorry.” With that, he turned his keys in the door to hear a voice yelling from inside.

“‘Samu! Is that you? I’m fuckin hungry.” Osamu walked into his home with you in tow, rounding the corner you saw a boy who looked exactly like him, though his hair bleached and had the most bored expression pasted on his face. You peeked your head around Osamu’s shoulder to see his face contort into something completely different. A resting smirk.

“My, my, who do we have here?” He propped his chin up on his hands before glancing up to meet his brother's eyes.

“This is Y/N. We became friends at the library roughly 15 minutes ago because she likes to cook, so I invited her over so I can cook for her.”

“How sweet!”

“Shut up.”

The two broke into snide remarks and your eyes traveled back and forth between the two as if it was a tennis match. After roughly a minute Osamu quit bickering and grabbed your wrist gently to bring you into the kitchen.

“Sorry, he’s a little much.”

“No, it’s okay my-“

“I’m literally right here, ‘Samu.”

Osamu ignored his twin as he began to sort out his ingredients to cook for you.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m over?”

Osamu turned to give you a reassuring smile.

He began to ask more questions about you, always turning his head to give you a sign that he was all ears for whatever you had to say to coax you out of your shell. He didn’t push you to answer anything but words came out easy around him. Turns out that you two had loads in common on top of cooking. It wasn’t before long before you thought in your mind that you were more than happy to have met him, and not just for the agemochi.

“Osamu, I’m just saying that you’re cooking this wrong. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“I’m sorry, but what did you two just say to me?”

“Oh! This is getting interesting!” Atsumu’s eyes switched between the two of you, holding his drink in both hands like a toddler watching cartoons.

You covered your face with your hands contemplating, before taking a deep sigh.

“Osamu, if you cook your vegetables like that and add it in it’s not going to taste right. And you’re cutting it in the wrong shape so it’s not going to cook evenly.” You stammered, looking everywhere besides the twins.

Osamu crossed his arms with an annoyed expression. “Really?”

You stiffly nodded. Osamu noticed your body tense up and walked towards you with a small smile.

“It’s okay! I haven’t had your cooking yet since you’ve been coming over! I’d really love to try it, could you show me how?”

“Really?”

“Really.” He placed a hand on your shoulder for reassurance, offering an eye squinting smile.

“Why aren’t you this nice to me ‘Samu?!” Atsumu glared at his brother. Osamu used a single hand to wave off Atsumu without another word.

Atsumu eventually got irritated and went to his bedroom. The only request being for someone to get him when the food is ready.

The entire time you prepared the dish Osamu peered over your shoulder. His eyes were as big as saucers as he watched you in amazement.

“Y/N, I hate to admit it, but you were absolutely right, this looks way better than mine could’ve ever been.”

You turned your head around becoming face to face with Osamu with such a happy smile on your face.

Oh Osamu realized. This is your comfort zone. It’s the only time he’s seen you after all of these weekends without a crease in your forehead or your eyebrows scrunched together. He couldn’t help but smile back.

“Right!”

You focused on the dish with Osamu hovering over you and you presented it to him as if you were in your own little restaurant.

“Here you go!”

Osamu graciously accepted the plate before sitting down at the kitchen table.

“Are you gonna eat, Y/N?”

“Yeah! I just want to see how you like it first!”

He nods before digging in to take the first bite. Osamu lifts his eyebrows with his eyes closed before nodding rapidly.

“Y/N this is delicious!”

You touched your face with your hand before looking down at the ground. “Thank you!”

“Mhm! Go get you a plate so we can eat together.”

You nodded. Before stepping around into the kitchen you look at Osamu. Never in your life have you seen someone in your life so happy to eat your cooking, not even your family. It made your heart warm.

“We always cook over here, you should come over to my place and cook with me!” You sat on the Miya’s kitchen counter dangling your legs off the ground.

“Please go ‘Samu. It’s been months. I’m tired of you two invading the kitchen every weekend. I miss my peace and quiet.”

Osamu rolled his eyes. “No free food for you then since you can’t cook for shit.”

“I-I didn't mean it like that I-“

“Don’t worry Atsumu, I’ll be sure to send Osamu home with something for you.” You sent him a small smile.

Atsumu faced his brother and pointed a finger over to you. “I really like her. You should definitely keep her around.”

Osamu’s cheeks turned a shade of pink. “Shut up.”

You laughed as the twins broke out into a string of insults.

After school was over, Osamu met you in front of the gates of your high school to walk you home on a Friday evening.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come over tomorrow and just do Saturdays like normal?”

“No I can’t. We have qualifiers for nationals coming up so we have a lot of extra practice. We just need to squeeze in whatever time we can together”

“Right. Are you guys really good-“ you groaned. “-of course you’re really good! Your school has gone to the nationals like three years in a row! Sorry that was stupid of me.” You pulled at your skirt nervously.

Osamu chuckled. “It’s okay!”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to look at him. “I know. Also I’d really like it if you’d come out to a practice match, Y/N.”

“Osamu, I’d really like to, but I can’t.”

“If it’s about all the people, I can assure you that it’s not as many as you think, I’d just really like to see your face from the sidelines. I understand if you say no. It’s okay.” With that Osamu gave you a quick smile and a gentle pat on your head before beginning to walk ahead.

“Y/N, who is this?” Your dad greeted the two of you at the front door.

Before you could open your mouth Osamu stepped in front of you and bowed. “Miya Osamu, sir. I’m a friend of Y/N’s. We met because we both really enjoy cooking.”

“Oh! You’re her friend that she goes to visit every weekend! Pleasure to meet you!”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Osamu came over so we can cook today, is that alright, dad?”

Your dad nodded before the three of you walked into the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go upstairs and change.” You placed your backpack on the kitchen table before exiting the room.

Your dad leaned onto the counter. “I’m really glad that you and her met. She seems really happy when she comes home and she’s always looking forward to going over every weekend. Plus she’s always bringing home your cooking for me and her mom so I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, sir. I really enjoy being around her.” Osamu dipped his head slightly.

“Dad you’re not freaking him out, are you?” You appeared in the doorway fiddling with your hands.

He chuckled before shaking his head. “Just bragging on you.”

“How embarrassing, sorry you had to listen to all of it, Osamu.” You nodded in his direction.

“Don’t worry about it. I enjoyed it.” Osamu offered a small smile.

“C’mon, Y/N! You’re really going to love this bakery! When I found out about it, I just had to bring you.” Today was another day of Osamu wanting to walk you home after school. Your heart felt warm as he interlaced his fingers with yours and began to walk towards the city.

“Osamu, I didn’t know we were going out today. I don’t have my wallet-”

“I’m treating you today! It’s a date!” He grinned at you.

“I like the sound of this!”

“The date part or the free after school snack part?”

“The snack!” Both.

“Damn.” Osamu let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m just kidding, you know I enjoy spending time with you!”

Osamu let go of your hand to hold the door to the cute little store open for you making your face

heat up as you look at the ground. Osamu took your hand in his once more.

“I know you do.”

He stood in front of you to order your favorites as you admired him from behind, smiling. Everyday with Miya Osamu warmed your heart.

“Osamuuuuu!” You whined into the phone. “Open your front door! It’s freezing out here!”

“The front door is too far away.” He retorted. “The couch is so cozy… and warm. I don’t want to.”

“Osamu, pleaseeee! I’m going to turn into an icicle.” You hear him groan on the other line.

“Y/N, why’re you acting like it's winter outside?”

“It’s December, Miya. Open the door.”

The line disconnected.

The front door’s lock clicked and the door opened to reveal a very tired Osamu. He yawned, running his hands through his hair before moving aside to let you in. You couldn’t help but yawn.

You punched his back as you followed him into the living room.

“What the hell was that for?”

“You made me yawn stupid! And I’m freezing since you made me wait outside for so long.”

“Let me make you some hot tea.”

“It’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.”

Osamu sat down on the couch. “I was watching movies before you got here, hence the wear pajamas text I sent you. Wanna watch my favorites with me?”

You grinned. “Of course!”

You sat down next to him as he began a new movie.

“Osamu can you share the blanket with me? I’m still pretty cold.”

“If that's okay with you then I don’t mind.” He lifted up the blanket. You comfortably slid over beside him.

You pulled the blanket up to your chin before holding yourself in your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up. Osamu shifted closer to you before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you towards his chest. Your body quickly relaxed into his side, into his warmth.

“I made you some bento boxes for you to take home tonight. They’re sitting in the fridge for you.”

“Thanks, Osamu. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.”

You gently slid your arm across his stomach to pull yourself closer to him. His other hand moved up to hold your arm gently. The two of you basked in a comfortable silence as the movie continued.

Atsumu walked down the stairs of his home calling for his brother. He halted in the living room to see the two of you were laying down on the couch, passed out with the TV still running. You were strewn across Osamu, your head buried in his neck and your arms draped across his shoulders. The gray-haired boy held you tightly to his chest. Quiet snores coming for both of you.

Annoyance spread across Atsumu’s face. He wanted Osamu to cook him something to eat. He walked behind his brother to smack him on the forehead. Osamu winced before Atsumu flicked him.

“‘Samu. I’m hungry.” He whined. Osamu’s eyes barely opened to scowl at his brother.

“Make instant ramen, I’m taking a nap.”

“Y/N comes over all the time now and you go to hers all the time, just do all of this cutesy shit later.”

“Same goes to you and your food idiot.”

“Who are you calling an idiot?”

“Are you being serious right-”

“‘Samu, be quiet. You’re being loud.” You mumble into his chest. He stroked your hair, muttering a quiet apology. Osamu shot his twin a glare before closing his eyes again.

“Be that way, asshole.”

“Osamuuuuu! Wake up.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you looked up to poke at the boy’s cheeks. You giggled. When Osamu was asleep, his bottom lip barely jutted out. It was adorable.

“What?” He mumbled. He grabbed your hand and held it in his to keep it flat against his face. He looked down at you sleepily, your noses nearly brushing. You swallowed a lump in your throat that you didn’t know was there.

“It’s getting late. I need to go home.”

“But I’m comfortable, lay back down.”

“But, Osamu-“

“Please?”

“Okay.” You stuttered. “Ten more minutes.”

“Ten more minutes.”

Osamu gave your hand a slight squeeze before his hand traveled down to play with your hair.

“Y/N.” He whispered.

“Mmm” you mumbled into his chest.

“I really liked it when you called me ‘Samu. It was really adorable.”

“‘Kay ‘Samu. I think I wanna stay like this for a little bit longer with you.”

“I think the team for the practice match is here.”

“Really? I have a good feeling about this one.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” Kita interjected into the twins' conversation.

Atsumu held his hands up. “Woah, woah. I would never!”

Kita’s eyes bore into Atsumu’s before briefly walking away. Atsumu gulped before facing his brother. He gave him and Suna and small thumbs up with a stupid face mouthing “we got this”.

Throughout the entirety of the match Atsumu was attempting to show off more than normal. Surprisingly to every member of the team, he didn’t mess up. At all.

“‘Samu, for the next play we should do the soul swap.”

“Stop giving things weird names.”

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

Osamu rolled his eyes as the team readied themselves on the court. The opposing team served the ball over to the net. Aran did a diving receive leading up to the twins to do the attack successfully, scoring a point for the match. The attack got the entire team in the zone and the twins competition with each other was flowing over the brim.

It wasn’t before long that Inarizaki had won the match.

After thanking the other team for the game Osamu walked up to his brother. “Why were you being more irritating than usual? Why're you trying to show off more than normal?”

“I just wanted to set you up to look better in front of her.” Atsumu nodded his head towards the stands. Osamu's eyes landed on you. He broke out into an excited smile. Quite frankly, it scared everyone of the team who saw it. Osamu was usually so deadpan with his expressions, it was alarming.

Without another word, Osamu began to jog towards you.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming to a match! This is our last practice match before nationals. We leave tom-.”

“‘Samu! Why didn’t you ever tell me you were so good! Every time you spiked the ball it looked so cool! I didn’t know you could do all of that!” You looked at the boy in astonishment. His face turned bright red.

“I texted Atsumu about it last minute because I wanted to surprise you before you leave. And you’re right, there weren't a lot of people.” You smiled.

“Sorry you had to see Atsumu flub his serves a lot today. He’s not as good as he thinks he is.”

You just laughed and waved it off. “Everyone makes mistakes, ‘Samu.”

“But especially ‘Tsumu, I mean you saw him.” He turned over his shoulder. “Oi, ‘Tsumu! Y/N said you suck!” You quickly shook your head over at Atsumu who looked like he could murder his brother.

“‘Samu!” You slapped his shoulder. His hands slid into yours with ease as the two of you laughed. By now every single member of the Inarizaki boy’s volleyball team was staring at the two the two of you interacting. Confusion and shock and disgust (Atsumu) were on everyone’s face as they started to clean the court.

Osamu quickly rushed over to help clean after mentioning to you to wait for him so you can come over and help him pack. He went to the locker room to take a fast shower and by the time he was out, you were surrounded by Aran, Kita, and Suna. Instead of seeing you reserved with a worried expression, you were laughing. More importantly, you got both Kita and Aran laughing at what you said. Atsumu appeared next to his twin.

“I can’t fucking believe it. Your girl actually got Kita to laugh. She’s a godsend.” Osamu nodded as he watched you from across the gym, his mouth slightly agape. Suna walked up to the twins. “I didn’t know you got a girlfriend, Osamu. She’s really sweet.”

“She’s really amazing, I-”

“Believe it or not they’re not actually dating. They just spend an obnoxious amount of time together in our house. Cuddling on the couch or cooking. Invading my homelife. The only good thing is that she makes ‘Samu less rude and doesn’t mind bringing me food or cooking for me. Dunno why ‘Samu won’t ask her out, it-”

“Watch it asshole. I have a plan-”

“Obviously not, she’s obviously in love with you, she probably isn’t even sure if you like her. You know she’s too shy to ask you anything.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then why has she talked to me about it?”

“Stop fucking lying to me.”

“But I’m not-”

Osamu harshly punched his brother's side.

“I hate you.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

The twins looked up to see you, Kita and Aran walking over. They both plastered smiles over while Suna looked irritated.

“Ready to go?”

Osamu smiled walking up to you, grabbing your hand. He waves over his shoulder to everyone.

“See you guys tonight!”

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N-san!” Kita smiled at you. The twins looked dumbstruck.

“You too, Kita-san! Bye everyone!”

You and the twins began to walk back to their home.

“‘Samu, you didn’t have to walk me home, it’s out of the way of the high school.” You laughed. He swung your clasped hands as the two of you stepped in front of your front door.

“I know but I wanted to.”

“Well, I’ll see you when you get back. I’ll be watching the live streams so you better play well for me.” You let go of his hand to turn to your door but he grasped it again. He pulled you into his chest for a hug.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

You pressed further into him, hugging him back.

“Right back at you.” You leaned up to place a small kiss on his cheek. The two of you paused, staring at each other as if to acknowledge what you just did. Osamu’s eyes flickered down to your lips before slowly leaning down. His lips gently brushed against yours, placing a soft, chaste kiss on them.

“I’m definitely going to win nationals now.” Osamu pulled away with a gentle smile resting on his lips.

“I’ll see you next week, okay?” With that, Osamu kissed the top of your forehead and began walking down the street.

Your fingers grazed your own lips, wondering what just happened

Though you’ve been watching Inarizaki play, you’ve barely heard from either of the twins. Just a hey or sorry text for not responding once or twice a day. You knew that they were insanely busy, but didn’t try to overthink it too much. They’re supposed to come home this morning, but it was already dipping into the late afternoon, but you didn’t want to call or text since you knew they’d be exhausted. Especially after their loss against the team from Miyagi.

Your phone buzzed gently beside you

Miya Atsumu: Hey, I don’t know where ‘Samu is, but can you come over and cook for me, our parents are out of town again.

You rolled your eyes. You were already rushing to put on a sweater and lacing up your sneakers before hauling out the front door.

You raised your hand to knock on the Miya’s door to be greeted face to face with their volleyball captain.

“Kita-san? Did Atsumu ask you to help him cook too?”

He shook his head and Aran appeared over his shoulder. The two of them presented to you small bouquets of flowers. You lifted an eyebrow at them but the two men just smiled and stepped aside for you to walk in.

You walk forward to the living room to see the furniture moved out of the way with a small picnic blanket covering the wood floor. With candles and pillows. Best of all, you recognized all of the favorites Osamu has ever cooked for you on little plates, neatly organized.

Osamu stepped out into your view, behind him were other members of the team, soft smiles resting on their faces (except Suna).

“I would’ve definitely made this outside but it’s just a tad chilly, so I hope this suffices.”

Osamu carefully grabbed the flowers out of your hands and placed them on the ground before grasping your hands in his.

“Sorry for kissing you and just not saying much of anything. When we were in Tokyo, outside of playing, the team and I planned this out, that’s why I wasn’t answering.” His grip tightened gently, his thumbs now rubbing over the tops of your hands.

“I really like you. I’m so glad that we bumped into each other that day in the library. I enjoy you coming over here every weekend, and especially now since you come over more. I enjoy spending my time with you and I hope to do it for a long time. Will you be my girlfriend?”

You nodded before throwing your arms around his neck. He held you tightly before placing a small kiss on your cheek, flashing a thumbs up to everyone signaling it was time for them to head out.

He pulls away and places his finger under your chin mumbling “thank god for that cookbook.” Before going in for a kiss.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu fanfiction #miya osamu #miya atsumu #miya twins #osamu #osamu x reader #osamu x y/n #osamu x you

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seijurosempress · 3 years

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@shoichee I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest.

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario:

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten. However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand.

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry.

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take.

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences.

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

#matchup request #[🏀].asks #i meant to have this ready early today #but i may or may not have fallen asleep #sorry #i'm slow #it really took me a whole ass week to write #but to be fair #i struggled a bit with your mans #bc I went strictly off what I could gather from the anime #which are CRUMBS

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daz4i · 3 years

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psychoanalyze atsumu? only if you want... im just interested on your thoughts cause your icon (｡･･｡)

*cracks knuckles* OKAY SO

(typing this on mobile so sorry if anything is weird, really hope the read more thing works too. also major manga spoilers warning!!!)

atsumu is a really interesting character, story role wise - he along with the rest of inarizaki starts as some major boss our main characters have to face in order to achieve their goal, and remains a background character for the rest of that arc

but later on in the story he becomes a consistent side character, like the rest of karasuno is for hinata and kageyama for all pre-timeskip events

in addition to that, he does go through some development over the timeskip, tho we're not really there to see his actual character arc, only the results of it (we do get enough details to go by tho, imo, but I'll get to that!)

so this^ was just to establish his role, and that it puts him in an interesting position to analyze, far more unique than a regular supporting character or a one-arc-wonder background character like he could've been (haikyuu does a really good job when it comes to giving personality and story even to those tho which is amazing). time to actually get into it now

i think atsumu's driving force is very clear, so much that even furudate said so - love. yes, competition and his brother are great motivators, but they're not the reason he does things. getting better is not what drives him, but more like his goal - to be more metaphorical, getting better at volleyball and specifically at being a setter is like the top of a mountain for him, but he's climbing the mountain in the first place simply because he loves, well, climbing mountains. everything he does, the hours of excessive training, not knowing when to quit, and becoming a pro - he does simply because he loves volleyball

(i always jokingly call him oikawa 2 bc of said excessive training and general Vibes but like, this is precisely what sets them apart imo - "getting better" being atsumu's goal or specific objective, but oikawa's driving force and motivator)

but that's just one aspect, if we wanna go full analyzation we're gonna be here awhile longer probably

so, we got atsumu's driving force. great! that's an important thing for making a recurring character! now we need 1 an obstacle, 2 some flaws, but 3 stuff that'll make them likable enough for the audience. and imo for atsumu it's:

1. an obvious answer is, for the first time we see inarizaki, karasuno as a whole. honestly obstacles in sports are p straightforward ngl. if we're talking about atsumu's character as a whole, as in more than his volleyball career, and if we're gonna focus on some short term goals, i think post timeskip he does have that minor goal to. well. be likable (just look at how hard he's trying to crack jokes at the monster gen impromptu reunion, and how straight up devastated he is when he fails + the first time we see him post timeskip, saying things like "why was i even born" because he messed up in front of other people)! and his obstacle for that is…

2. oh boy. atsumu's flaws. to put it simply, he's a dick. at least pre timeskip. he does mellow a bit after, and I'll elaborate on that later. he's also loud, kinda vulgar, demanding, childish, call it what you want tbh. tldr he's unpleasant for the people around him. also, he doesn't know when to quit - be it for training his setting skills, or calling someone out for playing badly. he keeps trying to get better even after the timeskip both because of his driving force that i mentioned earlier, and because of this, which brings me to

3. so, atsumu not knowing when to quit could be a flaw, but not necessarily! as i said, it does make him more determined, and some people may see it as an admirable quality! also he's genuinely just a fun character, possibly because he's loud and vulgar as i mentioned earlier - people love to see characters that aren't perfect because they're easier to relate to, and atsumu is no different! + his moments with osamu are genuinely just fun to watch imo, so yeah!

ok so we got a great base for a recurring character! now we gotta give them an arc. as i mentioned, atsumu's arc does happen mostly off screen, or rather the length of it does. but that doesn't mean we can't piece things together from the details we have!

i think the main reasons atsumu mellows down through the timeskip, in addition to basic things like "he's an adult now and has to act like one", are a) him becoming a captain in his third year, and b) osamu "leaving" him

a is pretty straightforward imo - he gets more responsibility put on him, he has to grow up and be more authoritative to fit that role, he grows as a person and becomes more understanding and patient through that which adds into the person we meet 5 years later

b is more complex, in a sense. we know atsumu took it hard that osamu decided to quit volleyball, even if the signs were there even before he declared that (honestly atsumu might've just ignored them. it makes sense even, that he'll be in denial about the whole thing until he no longer can). in a sense, he loses the one person who was always there for and with him in everything he did. they're still close, but things drastically change as they move on into different fields and have different goals. osamu doesn't have the same love atsumu does, so he'll never be able to keep up the pace anyway

and as i did mention earlier, osamu was one of atsumu's motivators. to be metaphorical again, atsumu's love is like a car, and his competition with osamu was like the gas that let it drive, at first. so once this competition goes away, he needs to find new gas, a new way to make it drive. i think this whole thing was kind of like a slap in the face for him tbh, which is also why he reacted harshly. but he did find it in the form of a pro career, and then hinata, maybe competition with kageyama instead, a whole bunch of things but mostly just playing more volleyball.

this was like. character analysis honestly. if we wanna talk specifically psychoanalysis, I'd say he definitely has something that makes him a bit more obsessed than just love (imo it's perfectionism to an unhealthy degree), and a desperate need to be liked after being abandoned by a person who was always by his side who supplied him with attention that he's now lost, and to make up for that he looks specifically for attention from people he respects and sees as equals, i think (which is why he tries hard to make other vball players like him but doesn't particularly care about his fangirls for example, as we've seen pre timeskip too).

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk I'm sorry for rambling so much thank you for the ask!!!!

#really hope tumblr won't cut this off hehe.#what he says: atsumu mentally ill / what he means: *this 1200 words monstrosity*#dan rambles #actually i put a lotta effort into that I'm gonna tag it for more people to see #miya atsumu #haikyuu!!#character analysis #feel free to hmu with more characters i love writing this stuff and I'm always bored #(tho i might do that tomorrow bc i do need to sleep now)

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laughing-with-god · 5 years

Text

Yandere BTS as fanboys

Jin- You’re his idol. He strives to be like you. That outfit you were wearing at the airport last week? He bought a matching one. You mentioned your favorite food on a mukbang V-live? He mastered cooking it. That one funny joke you said on that variety show? He repeats it all the time to his friends because it’s just so funny. If someone said that Jin was the male version of you, he’d be so touched to the point of tearing up. You were perfection in human form. Hate to say this, but if anyone dared to say that another girl idol was prettier or more talented than you, he’d definitely bash.

Prone to- Matching selcas and outfits, being a solo stan, going broke to see you in person via concerts and meets, unsubconsciously altering his appearance to fit your ideal type, bashing your ‘competition’

“Irene has no personality whatsoever and looks like an ajumma. You dare compare her to Y/n?!”

Yoongi- Analyzes your lyrics and uses them as inspiration for his own. Quiet fan, says he doesn’t need people to know that he’s a fan of an idol but really he wants to keep you to himself. Listens to your music at least 10 times a day. Helps him cope day to day and will switch to the acoustic versions when he’s trying to fall asleep. He could pick out your voice from a sea of others. He worships it. Doesn’t pay attention to idol culture, but if it involves you he’ll look out. Has a separate account to follow your social media. Has high hopes of one day working with you and creating a masterpiece together. He won’t get mad if someone disses your looks or personality (he kinda prefers it that people don’t find you as desireable as he does so he doesn’t have ‘competition’) but if someone ever came for you music....god help them.

Prone to- Quiet and solo Stan, has you as his background, skips through your members’ voices to get to yours alone, genuinely believes that you two will end up together, doesn’t consider himself a fan rather an appreciator of your music, pushes himself as a producer to one day work with you

“Y/n is so much more than an idol. She’s an artist. She’s so much bigger than Kpop, it’s offensive that she gets compared to the likes of Twice or Gfriend....”

Namjoon- Protective Stan. Dating scandals? He’s the type to get into a rant showing EXACT ANGLES OF YOUR EYELINE to prove that you weren’t lovingly gazing at the other idol. Controversy? The type to send letters to your company, begging them to sue dispatch and other sites for trying to tarnish your name. The type to try to search for deeper meanings with music videos and lyrics in quest for a story or conspiracy. Will copy your pictures for his own social media and have the caption of some deep quote you once said. Considers himself too mature for fan wars but his three paged rants in YouTube/Instagram/tumblr comment sections will tell you otherwise. Dresses like you and even tries to incorporate some of your mannerisms and sayings into his day to day behavior.

Prone to- Copying your social media presence, sending your company LOTS of letters, getting way too heated with other fans who just don’t ‘get’ you like he does, deadass wants to get a tattoo of a quote from you on him.

“Y/n is just a very complex person. I don’t expect you to understand what she meant by *blank* but trust me it wasn’t that. She’s just very philosophical and wise. Your two brain cells wouldn’t understand.”

Hoseok- LOUD stan. Has a YouTube channel for recreating your choreo. Has another YouTube channel for covering your songs. Has another channel for reaction videos of videos concerning you. Posters on his wall, saved selcas in his gallery, all your songs on shuffle and notifications for your social media are on so he won’t miss a thing. Has a proud tally for all the concerts he’s attended. Will happily roast someone online for the sake of fan wars. Will support your group/members as much as he can but at the end of the day you are his ride or die. Merch King. One of the most well known fans, one day your groups’ twitter account retweeted him and he SCREAMED SO LOUD despite being in public.

Prone to- Online stalking, skipping work or school if it interferes with going to your concerts or catching a V-live, going off on a hater and using his platform to protect your image

“Lmao imagine thinking that Y/n gives any types of shit about a weirdo weeabo like you?Talk all the shit you want from behind your crusty keyboard, she’s literally so unbothered💅🏼” *tweet from his fan account bc I picture him being THAT bitch*

Jimin- soft stan. Has a tumblr, wattpad and archive of our own account bc he LIVES for anything that can make him feel like he’s in a love story with you. Fluff, angst, fantasy ect. He’s always seen with his head buried in his phone screen and eyes furiously scanning the latest fic to peak his interest. Has a portable charger bc he cannot risk his phone dying whilst in the climax of a good plot. Not too involved with idol politics but he is very protective of you. Will def notice if you look a tad thinner or tired and type a comment telling you to eat more and rest well. Prob tell your company to lay off if I’m being honest. Supports your group 110% and doesn’t engage in fan wars bc he knows that you wouldn’t approve. The type to tell other frenzied fans online, “what would Y/n think?” Your his ideal type and he strives to be yours, dyes his hair and gets contacts to fit with your type.

Prone to- Obsessing over your well-being, spending too many hours a day reading fics about you (considers making his own), false sense of reality

“I know that Y/n doesn’t deserve this hate but pls don’t go bashing on haters on her behalf. Honestly it makes the fan base look bad and Y/n wouldn’t be proud. Let’s just focus on showing her love to drown out the negative. 💗”

Taehyung- You’re his goddess. Tries to mimic you in every way. Your hair color, your clothes, your accessories, eye colors and even the way you walk or talk. You’re just such an icon to him and so refreshing, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Every idol is just so boring compared to you. You magnetize him. In his free time he tries to draw you and has honestly gotten so good at it. Another one to try to have a social media theme similar to yours. Got a pet and named it after you. Mimics your style and changes it up whenever you do. Will travel to the places you do, ESP if it’s for a fashion show. Even copies your skincare routine and diet. Follows your accounts but loves your from afar, doesn’t participate in petty fan behavior bc his ego is too big to ever settle for a ‘fan’ title.

Prone to- online stalking and copying, actual stalking, huge ego and warped sense of reality

“Y/n is going to be in Paris next week so I gotta book my flight now. Do you think she’s gonna be at the Gucci or Dior show? I would say Gucci but she never fails to surprise me...”

Jungkook- bby stan. You took his breath away when he first saw your music video. IU who? He watches EVERYTHING with you in it, streams all your music, follows all your accounts and buys all the merch. He strives to be your ideal type. He covers all your music but posts them online without showing his face bc he’s too shy. He used to be a fan war warrior but when he had a lil accident (cough smashing his laptop into a wall when the hater continued to call you a whore cough) he now tries his best not to participate and instead just focus on you alone. He would never admit it, but he’s the type to look up your zodiac sign and his sign to read about how compatible you two are. Doesn’t want to be so obvious as to wear matching outfits as you, but does get small things like the same phone case or necklace as you have. Just to feel closer to you. Would totally go to a fan meet if he knew he wouldn’t have a panic attack being face to face with his soulmate.

Prone to- getting a bit too heated when defending you, ignoring his actual responsibilities to obsess over you, buying small things to feel closer to you, suppressing aspects of his persona that he thinks you wouldn’t like

“Y/n said she liked guys who are laidback. Ugh...am I too practical for her? Maybe I should learn how to go with the flow a bit more. The horoscope did say she was going to have a problem with my Virgo tendencies....”

#bts #bangtan boys #bts reactions #bts yandere #yandere bts #kpop #jeon jungkook #park jimin #jungkook #yandere jungkook #bts hoseok #namjoon #bts seokjin #jin #yandere jimin #kim taehyung #taehyung #yandere #yandere kpop

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years

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hey! so I had a q about your latest platinum post. the problems with shane's treatment are very similar to the problems with hana's in trr. but i feel like you still love trr despite it and hate platinum for it? i'm not trying to be argumentative i'm legit curious lol. what made you decide to hate the whole book of platinum just bc of the shane issue? i personally think it was way less problematic than many other books and in choices that's usually the best you can hope for :/

Oh I have an easy answer for that. At least on the surface level. Platinum is a standalone, and given that it was mostly outsourced...chances are that it was always intended to be one. Its writers were aware it would be a standalone, at the very least by the MoDA Gala. Which means the writers wrote Shane the way they did knowing they would end this series soon. They didn't choose to rectify their mistakes with him, or involve him more - instead they wrote him out of an entire chapter.

In this case especially, I don't have the time, space and scope to hope the next book might be better, the way I could when TRR Book 1 or Book 2 ended. Up until Book 3, I was able to hope. And in fact when the announcements began to pour in for another book in the TRR series, I was very vocal about not wanting it to return if I was going to be seeing more of the same old shit. So in the case of Platinum, I'm not sure what hope I'm expected to have from a book that is ending even as I finish this ask.

Perfect Match, for instance, was another book I loved. Really loved and really had hopes for. But I'd constantly maintained, by the time it was getting over, it was that their treatment of Sloane - and the fact that Hayden and Sloane never got a real apology from the likes of Damien - that made it impossible for me to love that book the same way anymore. By the time PM ended, it was clear that the team was aware at some point that this was going to be their final book, yet allowed for Sloane's reunion with her mother to be overshadowed by Hayden, and allowed for Sloane's entire arc to be eaten up by, and then revolve around (if single), Khaan Mousavi.

Also...hmmm...I love TRR? Could you please say that to this person, who asked - no, insisted - I stop writing my essays and QTs because they were so offended that I found nothing "right" in the books anymore? Or this person, who implied that because Open Heart and The Elementalists were "worse" in terms of LI balance, and claimed TRR was a "million times better", I should not be complaining. I'd highly appreciate it if you could say this to the anon that tried to bait me and mock me for stating - with proof - that Liam wasn't exactly getting the best deal in terms of story (though better than Maxwell or Hana), and that Drake's eating into space began by Book 2 (I didn't post that ask, coz I don't appreciate that kind of baiting on my blog). There have been people - well-intentioned people - asking me if I could explore more "positives" in the book, just because for them my QTs since mid Book 3 have been filled with (what a lot of people feel is) too much criticism and negativity. I'd love for all of them to know how much I "love" TRR/H.

I've said this numerous times, and I'm running out of the patience I'd need to say it again. My QTs, my essays, and the asks I answer from people who have wanted to get my input, are a resource. They're there so that anyone who is curious about other routes, or about branch coding, or about meta, or who don't know certain characters very well, will have a place to look and know where their questions can be answered.

Their existence isn't a surefire sign that I'm in love with a book, and frankly every chapter of TRH that I'm reading is taking me nearer and nearer to the point where I would rather stop. They're there primarily because I've been looking at the variants in this series for longer than anyone else I know, have analyzed them more than anyone else I know. There are patterns I'm seeing that very few have. And I'm not boasting when I say that - I have actually had people come up to me and tell me they had no clue some of these things were even happening in the series (the treatment for Kiara and Penelope being a prime example).

I know you are asking with the best of intentions...but tbh I don't appreciate people assuming my thoughts for me. Especially when I've been establishing the exact opposite on my thoughts about the TRR series for this long, and especially when I've been speaking about the ill-treatment towards Hana, for way longer and in far more depth, than a lot of people I know.

I'm also a little taken aback by your dismissiveness when you talk about Shane. Perhaps you did not intend it, but "just because of the Shane issue" makes it sound like it's just one little glitch or line or scene and not an entire LI's arc being given dust from the beginning, for a book whose team was aware it was possibly not going to get a second book at least midway (I mean, one LI not getting fair screentime could ruin a player's entire experience of that game). And as if this treatment isn't already a pattern you can see from a huge pile of LIs and characters who have also been given bad treatment. For instance, would you call Xanthe meeting the end that she did in ACOR, "just a Xanthe issue?". Is the treatment for Aurora after she'd been proven innocent in OH, "just an Aurora issue"? Is Kiara's trauma being ignored - and addressed only after she was viewed as a suspect in TRR 3, "just a Kiara issue"? The fact that in recent books we were seeing black women written as stereotypes more than characters...is that a "Ellen" or "Scarlett" issue?? The fact that Dallas' painful arc could be wrapped up in mere minutes in BSC - what kind of issue would you call that? Or - when you put them all together and examine the same thing happening in different ways - do they stop becoming merely "issues" and start becoming insidious patterns? I leave that for you to decide.

As for your last point, that Platinum is "way less problematic" than other books, and that's the best we can hope for from this app...I'm afraid I'm no longer willing to settle like that anymore. I'm not forcing anyone to hate this book - if you like it and it has brought you joy, that's great. But I am not going to sugarcoat my feelings for either books just because of how I used to feel about them earlier. Nor am I going to keep giving PB the benefit of the doubt just because I had done so earlier, and I shouldn't be expected to.

I normally like and appreciate your inputs...but I'm sorry to say I find a lot of problems in this one.

#anti platinum

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tayegi · 6 years

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i feel like jk's ex gaslighted him and that's why he's so afraid of relationships - when he was in this original relationship i think she messed up his sense of reality so much that he doesn't want to give someone else the opportunity to manipulate him like that again. while i don't think she and oc are similar i think the jk's feeling the same stuff with oc rn as he did at the beginning of his relationship with his ex and that's why he was a total douche canoe when oc tried to confess (1/?)

Anonymous said:tbh jk is making me v mad, even though he was explicit from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship, because it seems like he's passing on his gaslighting trauma to oc now (if my theory is correct that his ex gaslighted him) with his conflicting actions. i think jk made his own set of new rules following that break up and the fact that oc is bringing those feelings back to him, effectively breaking his rules, resulted in him being such a douche canoe (2/?)

Anonymous said:unlike oc now, i think jk hasn't gotten the chance to confront his ex yet about the abusive aspect of their relationship so he projects his anger and hurt feelings onto other people that would want to date him. like his rxn towards oc was cruel but i think that cruelty stems from his desire to do that to his ex, to make her feel as small/powerless/defeated as he felt as a result of her gaslighting. idk just my thoughts, i hope this theory-crafting wasn't annoying for you Lu (3/3)

Anonymous said:i mean the last line of new rules is you’re getting over him so im gonna be optimistic ab

Anonymous said:hi thank u for writing us that quality smut. it seems to me that jk is in it for sex and companionship. but i do wonder why jk was so jealous of hobi and reader? im sorry if you’ve alr answered that before but bc y/n wants a romantic connection, i wonder who she’ll get it from if she reconciles with jk not ever being able to meet her romantic needs

Anonymous said:i think i'm gonna reread new rules again to get more perspective on this chapter's events; i totally understand what you're saying about JK, his fuckboi ways and the dismissal of platonic feelings, but my mind is used to that shift to romantic feelings in these kinds of stories so i wanna go back and analyze. your stories always get me so worked up :,( i sent asks last night that were probably annoying for you to read (if tumblr didn't eat them) so i'm going back IOT check myself for the future

Anonymous said:Did no one else pick up on jungkook being apparently good at skating on his date with hyejin? Whilst he was terrible at it with the OC...? That was the warning sign for me...

Anonymous said:Something definitely happened in Jungkook’s past for him to have that perspective on relationships. Loved the new chapter of NR, I want you to know that you’re an absolutely amazing writer💛

vickyyy97 said:Wow! The chapter had me on the edge of my seat! My heart was beating so fast! I really want to know the story between him and his ex girlfriend. What happened that made him not go into relationships? Why did he confess if he told her his views on relationships? So many questions! I think Jungkook is scared to go into relationships. Maybe they're not ready. Maybe they need to give their feelings more time. So excited for the time skip! Your writing is absolutely amazing! Take your time please! ❤

Anonymous said:You know the moment when she overheard that they went to skate on a date. I thought that maybe it not him but hyejin took him there? Or is it really him? Is it some kind of his plan? He doesn't want her to catch feeling for him? He is afraid that he hurts her? I'm being ridiculous, right?Then why does he need her to admit that she likes him as well?Oh, he wants her to like him as a good fuxk and a friend.Looking forward to the next chapter (no pressure.just saying.I'll wait as long as I have to)

Anonymous said:✨1// Hello! Silent follower here, hope youre doing well ☺️Just read the new nr update; i loved it and just wanted to share my thoughts hehe. I think of myself as a dense reader (not very good at analysing text 😥) so I’m not sure my interpretation is correct and i apologise if its not! Ahh where do i even begin? Overall i find your portrayal of hook up culture so skillful and accurate.

Anonymous said:✨2// I love the recurring portrayal of the ironic intricacies of hook up culture--the very conflicts and uncertainties people want to avoid when they engage in fwb. I also think your approach to this story and its characters is so raw and refreshing; its so smart the way you integrate some of jungkooks actions so that his thoughts and place in him and oc's relationship are blurred for the readers/oc! The confusion in a lot of your anons i think is a sign of how well youve done it 😅

Anonymous said:✨3// In terms of the whole jungkook-relationship-thing from this update.. jungkook's past relationship clearly affected his view on relationships/what they should be. Maybe he was led to believe that sexual activity should be enjoyed in platonic circumstances? maybe he believes that platonic relationships are stronger than romantic? Or maybe he simply only has platonic feelings for OC-

Anonymous said:✨4// -but is also really expressive/affectionate to his friends, causing her to see his actions as small confessions and eventually developing feelings herself? There r so many different possibilities i can think of but we'll never know until his past is revealed! I’m curious to see what happened. I could keep going abt the things I’m curious abt/love abt this fic & ur writing but this is getting so long kdsndj tysm for ur updates despite being so busy💕💕we rly appreciate all the work u put in!

Anonymous said:New rules is such a wonderful story& I definitely go back to reread each chapter and always end up finding something that makes me love this story more. Thank you for creating something amazing despite being so busy with real life. Also, with the ending of this update,is Jungkook's past relationship with his highschool girlfriend, maybe one of the reasons why he has these views on relationships, the way he does? Almost like a turning point for him, in some ways, to him being who he is now?

Anonymous said:Wasn’t expecting that ending for Chap 9 but I was still awed! That ending makes me want to reread all the chaps leading to the latest because I am guilty of reading them in rose colored glasses. This really makes me think on the amt of romantic undertones I perceived with JK and how false they were. I’m excited where NR is heading because this was unexpected yet in character with how you set the mc and JK from the beginning.

Here are more lovely reactions, theories, and thoughtful questions. I LOVE NEW RULES BOOKCLUB SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU MY LOVELIES

#new rules #anon

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highontaebong · 7 years

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A Possessive Dinner Taehyung

Pairing: TaehyungxReader

Warning/Genre: Smut, Dom Taehyung, Public sex, Cursing,

Excerpt: “So your saying we can just do it right here then?” Shocked by his words you just stood still not knowing how to respond, Taehyung came up behind you moving the hair off of your shoulder and tugging down the damned coat Jimin had let you wear. With slight anger he bit down on the area between your neck and shoulder sending a pleasurable pain down your spine and making your core wet.

Word count:2,603

Note: I almost died while writing this bc hot damn lmao, ps thx for so much recognition on my last story about Jungkook I’m completely blown away and wanted to say hi to all the new followers <3

Jesus Christ, how’d you even get yourself into this position.. Literally a guy you had met just a few hours ago had your skirt flipped up and was fucking balls deep in you. It actually all started with your friend Olivia inviting you out to dinner with her boyfriend’s band that had six other guys. The occasion being that they finally finished up tour and were ready to kick off their break.

“Olivia I told you I’m coming for sure I don’t mind I just have no clue what to wear.” This was true you didn’t mind at all going to the dinner Olivia begged you to go to for two weeks. The partial lie was that you did have a sort of idea what to wear to the dinner. It was either between a mustard yellow high waisted skirt with a tight off the shoulder black shirt that you would tuck in and to top it off a pair of chunky ankle boots and some tights that were black all the way up to the knee and blended into little cat ears. The other option was a simple navy blue romper and brown indie sandals. “Y/N just wear the skirt one you always look hot in high waisted shit, any way there’s a guy there that Jin and I want you to meet k bye.” Before you could protest she hung up the phone leaving you to regret deciding to go after all. Though you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t the least bit excited to meet these guys that Olivia had always ranted on about. You had to be at the restaurant by nine and it was already 7:50 so you decided to get ready.

Finally settling with yourself on the first outfit choice and a bit more effort put into your makeup you decided you were finished, and not to toot your own horn. But you couldn’t even hardly believe the reflection in the mirror was actually you. The whole outfit framed your whole body just right and the combination of the skirt and booties gave your legs an illusion of looking longer, which was pretty difficult for someone who hardly staggered over five feet. And to not forget the special touch of putting a bit of highlighter on your exposed collarbones. Lastly you decided to take out your phone and call an uber to the restaurant, not knowing if there would be any drinking involved tonight.

When you had first arrived at the restaurant you felt a bit intimidated by how fancy and exclusive it had looked. Brushing the thought away you walk in to the restaurant finding where the hostess was at and asked where Bangtan had been seated. She motioned you to the elevator saying they were on the rooftop. You almost had choked on your tongue when you arrived at the top and saw that it was /only/ BTS on the rooftop. You expected there to be other people and tables as well. Noticing that you were in slight shock your friend Olivia walked towards you with two glasses of wine putting one in your hand and wrapping her free arm around you to introduce you to everyone. “Guys this is my best friend in the wholeeeee world I love her so treat her good, oh yeah and her name is Y/N!” Completely forgetting to mention you to that certain someone she had talked about on the phone she also seemed to be a bit tipsy but you weren’t too concerned Jin was there to take care of her, so you had no worries tonight. At least you thought. The guys at the table had waved a hand at you motioning you to come sit with them. Dinner went really well you had talked to them a lot about their tour and the boy named Yoongi explained to you with a wink how Namjoon was the biggest clutz and destroys things on contact. You’d come to favor Jungkook and J-Hope they seemed liked big kids in a grownups body, which wasn’t much different from yourself on occasion. Jimin seemed like a really laid back character who just knew how to vibe with anyone on the get go which you really liked because it made talking to him much easier. The one thing you kept noticing was that the boy named Taehyung just didn’t seem that into you, anytime you would make eye contact with him he would just look away really fast and small talk was completely out of question. He nor you even bothered with that because it seemed pointless. Trying to ignore the fact you decide you needed to use the restroom when you saw the little neon sign with a female symbol and a slash following a male symbol. You thought it was kind of odd that it was multi-stall bathroom for men and women. You went into a stall did your thing then walked out towards the sink to wash your hands, when you looked up Taehyung was there doing the same. You couldn’t keep it in anymore it was eating you up all throughout the dinner. “Listen did I do something wrong to upset you?” Startling the poor guy he looked up at you in the mirror with a confused expression. “All night your friends have been talking to me with no issue and you haven’t. If I did something to offend you I ‘am sorry.” That’s when Taehyung crossed his arms and leaned against the wall that was beside the sink. “Olivia and Jin didn’t tell you did they?” In a slightly confused and annoyed state you reply “Tell me what, is there some big secret I don’t know about?” “Y/N I’m the guy they were supposed to introduce you to, all throughout the dinner I thought you had known and weren’t interested in me so I just backed off.” Putting your hand on his shoulder in a slightly suggestive way by giving a light squeeze to the very apparent arm muscle. “Well Taehyung I was not aware and if I was, I probably would’ve talked with you the most out there.” Knowing this gave Taehyung a boost of confidence he wasn’t even aware of having, he took a step closer where you could look up and be centimeters away from his face. “Y/N I haven’t known you for long nor have we even spoken much but I really want to kiss you and maybe some more.”

Those words ‘maybe some more’ sent a shock right to your core only thinking about what this beautiful man could do to you. You bit your lip in hesitation before you stood on your tippy toes to press your lips against his, taking the breath out of the both of you. Soon the kiss became deeper and your tongues were exploring each others mouths, Taehyung reached to wrap a hand in your hair causing you to let out a small breathy moan. “Taehyung listen we should really head back to the table everyone will eventually start wondering.” Slightly in defeat Taehyung gave you a small chaste kiss before leaving the bathroom. You stood there just looking in the mirror for a minute more just analyzing what had happened a few minutes ago. Thinking back to those words ‘maybe some more’ made you ache to know what Taehyung meant and maybe even get a demonstration. Upon your arrival back to the table Taehyung sees you and shoots you a wink. You sat down at the table taking your seat in front of Taehyung crossing your legs. After a few short minutes of small talk with Namjoon about his terrible endeavors of dancing on talk shows you felt Taehyung’s foot slide up your right leg that was currently crossed forcing it to come undone and spreading your legs. You look at Taehyung with wide eyes only for him to continue talking with the boys like nothing happened. Trying to ignore it you talk to J-Hope about how hard it must’ve been to be away from his family on his birthday. Taehyung noticed you were beginning to calm down he decided to change that by reaching under the table to rub a rough hand up your thigh, causing you to jump and shivers to run up your spine. “Y/N are you ok?” Jimin asked truly concerned. “Yeah Jimin I’m just a bit cold.” Hoping your excuse worked. “Here take my coat I’m sure it might be a bit big but consider it more to warm you up.” He gave you a quick smile as he took off the coat and the long sleeve beneath clung tightly to every shoulder muscle he had making you stare for a half a second longer than you intended. He gingerly draped the coat around your shoulders, you inhaled the smell of orange and ginger that flooded around you. When you looked up after adjusting the coat you met eyes with Taehyung who was clenching his jaw and had daggers in his eyes. If looks could kill I would be a goner you thought to yourself. You continued small talk with the members through the last rounds of desserts that passed around the table.

As the rounds of dirty dessert dishes were being picked up by waiters and the members started to get up to leave the scene. You decided to take off Jimin’s coat and give it back to him, before you could get it off Jimin put a hand on your shoulder and to hold onto it until the next time you meet knowing you didn’t bring a jacket as well as knowing there would be a next time due to getting along so well with all of them. “Thanks Jimin I really appreciate it, just text me or else ill forget. I’ll have Jin give you my number.” You wished him a goodnight and gave each member a hug before they left. “Y/N you’re not leaving yet?” “No, it’s not often I get to be on a rooftop and enjoy a view like this Olivia and I can’t bear to leave it yet. I’ll send you a text when I leave.” Jin questioned whether or not you were sure, when Taehyung came out of nowhere and told Jin he’d see that you’ll make it home safely. Jin gave him a quick nod and you a quick smile while he helped carry Olivia down to the car and take her home.

“Taehyung I thought you left?”

“How could I leave when I thought throughout all of the dinner you’d be going home with Jimin tonight?” He walked with you over to the end of the rooftop to look down at the scene below you.

“Taehyung, Jimin was just being nice. I don’t plan on going home with anyone tonight.” Though you wouldn’t mind taking Taehyung to your place for a bit.

“So your saying we can just do it right here then?” Shocked by his words you just stood still not knowing how to respond, Taehyung came up behind you moving the hair off of your shoulder and tugging down the damned coat Jimin had let you wear. With slight anger he bit down on the area between your neck and shoulder sending a pleasurable pain down your spine and making your core wet. Taehyung took note of the quake in your knees and began to plant small kisses around the area he bit, up to your ear slightly licking and nipping the shell of it. His right hand snaked around your waist keeping you upright while the other went below your skirt and in between your legs to rub circles over your clit. “Baby you’ve soaked through to your tights, do you want me to bend you over and fuck you senseless while you watch people down below that are completely unaware?” Those words ringing throughout your ears. Words almost like desperation spilling out your mouth.

“Taehyung I want your dick to fill me up, please?”

“Your being such a good girl for me saying please Y/N.” He let out a low growl as he bent you over, lifting your skirt and tearing a whole in your stockings. The sheer strength turning you on every moment. He reached into his pocket pulling out his wallet and a gold foil with a condom in it. When he had finished putting it on, he stuck two fingers into your slit without any warning. Stretching you out and making a shriek come out of you. He then began moving them, curling them into your g-spot making you a writhing mess with every touch. “Taehyung I need to feel more of you, just fuck me hard already.” Those few words lead to the action that you almost regretted. Taehyung snatched you back by your hips and shoved you onto his hard cock. His nails digging into your hips with immense pleasure. “Ah Taehyung fuck I don’t know how long I can last!” Taehyung reached a hand into your hair tugging your head back and making your back arch in a way that made him reach places you never imagined. With every thrust into you edging you closer and closer to your climax. “You like being fucked in public don’t you Y/N? You like the idea that anyone could walk over here at any moment and see my dick balls deep into you, don’t you?” He released the grip on your hair only to be replaced by a harsh smack to your ass that sent you toppling over the edge. “Ah Taehyung fuck, I’m fucking cuming holy fuck.” His place didn’t slow down at all he made your ride it out till the end when his own movements when out of rhythm and you knew he was close.

“Taehyung let me suck you off to finish you.”

He quickly moved to turn you around and chuck the condom somewhere onto the roof in the darkness. You knelt down to look at his cock that was dripping pre cum, ready to explode at any momement. You put the head of his length into your mouth doing figures eights over the tip and every other time wrapping your tongue completely around the tip. Earning moans form Taehyung and his head tilted back in complete bliss. After gaining up the ego you took his whole length into your mouth, deep throating him completely. Taehyung reached a hand down to your hair once again tangling his hand in it to get a grip. He looked you right in the eyes as he began to thrust his hips forward in a rhythm that made his head reach the back of your throat each time. Basically mouth fucking you. “Y/N fuck your mouth feels so good wrapped around my dick I could cum at any moment.” At those words you began bobbing your head up and down on Taehyung’s dick even faster while you were massaging his balls with the other. Within moments Taehyung was becoming completely undone in your mouth. You swallowing every last bit and standing up to come face to face with him. He buttoned his pants back while you adjusted your skirt into place. Gingerly placing a thumb to the corner of your mouth and placing it on your lips you sucked it clean getting the last bit of his seed cleaned up.

“Fucking hell I would’ve never pegged you as such a dirty girl Y/N, keep it up and this won’t be the last time.” He pulled you into one last rough kiss before yanking you towards the elevator to leave.

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fatecaster · 7 years

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Jathakam: the amazing story of Vedic Astrology no one told you - Reblog

Find the original blog post at: http://ift.tt/2sIrUWW

Jathakam: the amazing story of Vedic Astrology no one told you

So what is Jathakam?

Jathakam is the Vedic astrology chart of a person or a chart created for one specific question at the time of asking. It’s an ancient tradition in Hindu families to make the newborn’s chart, the Jathakam.

Those who live in the western countries and are interested in astrology, usually meet western astrology. However, there is an ancient astrologic system, the Hindu, a.k.a. Vedic astrology. It is based on the Vedas, the Hindu sacred script.

What tells your Jathakam?

The basic intention of Jatakham is, on the one hand very simple, but on the other hand is very complex. Its aim is to help you get to know yourself better, to be able to evolve, getting to know your talents and also your limits. Used properly it can contribute to being happy and successful in your life.

It shows and teaches acceptance; to accept your situation, your family, spouse, work, financial condition etc. However, it’s important to emphasize that acceptance doesn’t mean approval let alone resignation. It doesn’t mean that you have to live forever with conditions that are bad for you.

Acceptance is a tool that gives you inner peace and a stable base for any change coming from your free will. I often say we all have boundaries. But what we do within those boundaries is a choice.

For example, if you don’t have artistic skills but you practice a lot, you can get better and better. Yes, you probably won’t ever be the next Picasso but you’ll be able to enjoy art.

Jathakam helps you find the way to change your life if you want to, but as astrology says, no real change can happen without acceptance and self-knowledge. There’s a huge difference between change that you consciously initiate and unexpected bad changes that make you suffer. The first one is active, the latter is passive.

Astrology, or in our case Jatakham, can support you to activate the real yourself. The real yourself, without fears and dependencies. It shows you how to rule and lead your life the best way you can, without causing harm for your surroundings.

Jatakham is a guide, a chance to have a better, more outstanding life.

Knowing ourselves is an important goal: actually, it’s one of our most important weapons that can help us reach the state of happiness. It’s a tough fight though, but if you are strong enough – and strength is something that we have more of than we’d think – it can make us evolve and achieve our goals.

History of Vedic astrology and Jathakam

Once upon a time, the story began in the 3rd millenium B.C. The cradle of the ancient form of astrology was Mesopotamia, Sumer.

The Sumerians used astrology mostly to avoid the punishment of gods. They thought gods showed their presence in celestial images and believed that through these images they sent messages.

Then astrological signs were used for agricultural predictions; to foretell the welfare of the nation and the king. In those days astrology was closer to divination than science.

The Sumerians were pioneers in using the numeral system we know today. Also, they were the first who divided the year into 12 months, the day into 24 hours, the hour into 60 minutes and the circle into 360 degrees. They also observed and named the astrological, zodiac signs.

After the Sumerian period, Mesopotamia was conquered and ruled by the Persians. They founded the Persian Empire that inherited the knowledge of the Sumerians.

The next landmark is Alexander the Great, the Macedon (Greek) king, who conquered Persia and West-India in the 4th century BC. He encountered with astrology during the conquest and it’s not surpising at all that he didn’t only seize the enemy’s land but their knowledge as well. That is how the ancient Sumerian wisdom, including astrology, found its way as far as India.

Astrology, however, was not totally new to Indian people, since they had already known the ancient form of Hindu (Vedic) astrology. Surprisingly back in the 2nd millennium BC, their ancestors had already tracked the movements of the Sun and Moon.

When Alexander the Great introduced them to the Sumerian form of astrology, they combined their Vedic faith and Vedic astrology with the new science. They took over the Sumerian numeral system as well, that have become the base of Jathakam. The 12 houses of the chart, as we’ll see later, refer to certain life areas.

The structure of Jathakam

Jathakam has 3 main parts

zodiac signs

planets

houses

1. Zodiac signs (rasi)

The Vedic astrology uses 12 zodiacs that are named after the signs in the sky. Each zodiac sign has its own characteristics that together with their position and their arrangement compared to the planets and the houses can reveal a person’s personality and fate.

2. Planets (grahas)

In this section, we review the main attributions of the planets.

The 9 planets are situated in the 12 signs. Each planet symbolizes qualities, attributions, elements, and organs. In addition to the planets, there are two so-called Nodes, the North or ascending Node and the South or descending Node. These two latter are counted by the movement of the Moon, showing karmic tasks in the Jathakam.

3. Houses (bhavas)

Jathakam consists of 12 houses, representing certain areas of our lives.

There are two main types of Jathakam: the North and the South Indian style. The most significant difference between them is the arrangement of the houses.

NORTH-INDIAN CHART

SOUTH-INDIAN CHART

North Indian Jathakam is a house-based chart, which means the place of the houses is fixed. The numbers always refer to the signs, not the houses.

The 1st, the 4th, the 7th and the 10th houses are diamond-shaped, the other houses are triangles. Each house has a number that refers to the zodiacs. 1 is for Aeries, 2 is for Taurus, 3 is for Gemini and so on.

South Indian is a sign-based chart that means the signs always have a fixed place. The chart always starts with Aeries in the second box at the top. Then other signs follow it clockwise.

Each house is equally divided into 30 degrees, but unlike the North-Indian one, the houses here aren’t fixed. The 1st house is defined by the position of the ascendant.

( And in case you’re wondering what ascendant is….it’s the zodiac sign which is ascending on the eastern horizon at a certain time, for example at a birth of a child. )

Let’s see what the 12 houses represent.

So, as you can see, Jathakam is the astrology chart based on Vedic astrology, consisting of zodiac signs, planets, and houses.

Analyzing the arrangement of the altering elements compared to the fixed ones creates a chart for a given date. By examining its elements a professional astrologer is able to get information about the questioner’s personality. This way he or she can have a deeper understanding of the ongoing processes of the questioner’s life and/or anticipate the future of certain situations.

The difference between the western astrologic chart and the Jathakam

The intention of the western chart comparing to the Jathakam is the same.

As you have seen, Jathakam consists of zodiac signs, planets, and houses. The zodiac signs, the numbers and the meanings of houses are the same in both systems.

However, the western form uses 3 more planets, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. The explanation behind this might be surprising but actually, it’s quite logical: these planets were only discovered in the 18th, 19th and 20th century. Since western astrology dates back way earlier than the 18th century, “ancient star-experts” used the same planets as the Vedic system.

The biggest difference between the two systems was the appearance of the charts.

As you could see Jathakam has two types the Southern and the Northern chart, both of which resemble a square-like form.

The western chart, however, is a circle, divided into 12 parts, the houses, one outer circle, and one inner circle. The outer circle is divided by the 12 zodiac signs. The inner one also cut into 12 parts, has the 10 planets plus the Ascending and Descending Node, just like with the Vedic form.

Types of Jathakam

Jathakam has 3 types, each serving different purposes.

Birth (natal) Jathakam

Transit Jathakam

Horary (prashna) Jathakam

1. Birth (Natal) Jathakam

Birth Jathakam depicts the positions of the planets and the houses at the moment of your birth. For making it, astrologers need accurate information about the time and place of birth. This chart gives you answers about your personality, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and possible threats of your life.

2. Transit Jathakam

Transit Jathakam looks like the same as the birth one, but it shows the planetary position of a chosen moment.

Combined with your birth Jathakam it can reveal the ongoing processes and influences. Also, it can give you advice when it comes to managing challenges. This can help you to find the best option and make the most out of difficult situations. Moreover, it reveals positive constellations as well that you can use to live a happier and more balanced life.

3. Horary (prashna) Jathakam

This chart focuses on one question at the time of asking it. The question can be anything: will I get the new job, where did I leave my keys, should I start a new enterprise?

For horary, the astrologer doesn’t need to know the time and place of birth of the questioner. The only thing that counts is the positions of the planets at the exact time of asking.

FAQ

As a practitioner astrologist, I experienced that the most frequent questions are related to health, love, and work (career).

Jathakam and health

As for health, the traditional Vedic astrology can add more tips and advises using Ayurveda, the Indian medical science.

Ayurveda differs 3 main body types or as they call it dosha.

These are:

Pitta

Kapha

Vata

Each has 4 zodiac signs belonging to it.

PITTA

Aeries

Leo

Scorpio

Sagittarius

KAPHA

Taurus

Cancer

Virgo

Capricorn

VATA

Gemini

Libra

Aquarius

Pisces

Each dosha has its own features and characteristics. However, our zodiac only shows the main attributions. It’s common to have mixed or dual types.

Our dosha could be the key to our personal health. It should be imagined as a “health guide”.

For example, if you’re mostly a Vata, it means you’re likely to be thin and you’re not prone to putting on weight. In that case, if you want to live a healthy life, you should choose a sport that is suitable for your body type, for example, ballet.

However, if you happen to be a Kapha with a stronger, more robust body type, you should take that into consideration when it comes to choosing a sport. Also, as a Kapha, you’re suggested to eat spicy food more often since it speeds up your naturally slower metabolism.

Jathakam has 3 houses related to health and disease.

These are:

the 6th house that shows our bodies’ strengths and weaknesses

the 8th house that reveals possible accident and death

the 12th house that could open up a long-term hospital stay.

However, what Jathakam shows is just a possible option. We are all able to avoid illness or diminish effects with proper prevention.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, we all have our boundaries, but it’s up to us if we cross them or stay behind them and satisfy with less. The same goes for your health. You have many options to live healthier but you’ve got to take the effort.

Jathakam and love

There are many forms of love we experience in our lifetime. As your focus can change from time to time, you are able to love differently as you grow older.

If you are familiar with your Jathakam, then you have your map of your personality, soul, intentions, desires, hopes, goals.

You have your own personal key not only to discover your uniqueness but what’s more important, to accept, embrace it and finally love it. You will never be able to truly love anybody unless you learn to love yourself.

However, it’s important to note one thing. Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you always make the right decisions or you always act the perfect way. You will have failures as well for sure. And as controversial it may seem, that’s actually good for you. Why? Becasue that’s when you can meet your shadow self.

Your shadow self, though you might call it an enemy at first, is indeed your friend. You should shake hands; you should embrace it and accept it. That’s the key to a peaceful state of mind where your soul can start its journey to more conscious life.

I’m not saying it’s always easy. I know it’s not. But if you want to find your soul-mate, you should make the effort. And I promise; as days pass, it’ll get easier and easier.

Jathakam has its love related houses which are the following:

5th house reveals shorter relationships, lovers, flame, passion and also information whether you will have a child or not.

7th house shows a companion, a spouse, or, if there is, the chance of divorce

Jathakam and work (career)

Jathakam rarely says actual things about your career. It won’t tell you that you should be a teacher, a doctor or an accountant.

However, house 6 and 10 can reveal your talents, abilities that lead you closer to your dream job.

It also suggests whether, according to your personality, you should work in a team or alone. As a leader or as an employee. At your own company or led by someone else.

Jathakam may also tell you if it’s time for a change in your career. It’ll suggest you find a new place or apply for a new position so that you’ll never have to encounter with that “Oh, no, Monday” feeling again.

– Patrícia Párvy, astrologyst, body and mind coach –

The post Jathakam: the amazing story of Vedic Astrology no one told you appeared first on Free Online Predictions.

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estherroberts · 7 years

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esther roberts!

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the first one of mine! without further ado, here’s esther!

esther roberts is tiny but she is not delicate- which is to say, she looks fragile but she will kick your ass. she is feminine but she is unyielding. and she will beat you to the chair and pull it out her damn self.

pencil skirts, fancy blouses, necklaces with tiny charms, and three rings with varying sizes of stones are like a uniform for esther.

she has honey blonde hair in the sunlight and mousy brown in dark and her hair wiggles just past her shoulders. also, she has bangs. they're cute but they don't help her look any older.

she has brown eyes and sometimes they're warm and welcoming but mostly they're analyzing and looking and curious and questioning

she doesn't want any more piercings than the basic ear ones and she likes to wear long chained dangly earrings because they feel nice

she wears heels for the click clack and the height and ballet flats for the comfort

she’s an aquarius

she has a cat named johanna and when she was younger she had fish but she was a horrible fish mother and gave them to jack’s sisters

esther’s father died when she was four years old

the only things she has left of him are

a) a deck of cards

b) all kinds of russian swear words

c) an ability to withstand incredibly cold weather

d) an ability to withstand her mother

technically the occupants of her house are just her and her mom, anita

anita is from new york and certainly sounds like it

she is loud and affectionate and even though she is grieving her husband, does her best to raise her daughter

there are aunts, uncles, and cousins living across the street and on either side, and her mother’s parents are less than a block away

and there are always people over

most of her cousins are a lot older than she is, some of them have children by the time she’s a junior and so she is both the baby and the babysitter

also always over is jack wyatt

they grew up together, and jack talked to esther’s cousins as much, if not more, than esther did

they did ballroom lessons together, they cooked together, they have embarrassing photos of each other when they were babies, they even are very close to having their own language (there’s more on that in the jack post)

if you asked esther at five, at seven, at fifteen, at seventeen, who her favorite person in the world was? she would say jack. (she might throw bridget in there too, but we’re not there yet)

she loves him a LOT

esther figured out she was gay in 5th grade bc she watched glee and wanted to kiss quinn (later she realized how GARBAGE FIRE the show was but she’s glad it got her this, at least)

she’s maybe 11 and she’s freaking out. she thinks about it before she falls asleep and sometimes she looks stuff up online but she feels like it’s Extra so she stopped doing that. and it’s her secret, it’s a Big Secret.

sometimes she asks jack if they would still be friends if she was gay and he looks at her funny and tells her that she’s an idiot and he would still be her friend if she was green and came from the moon

“actually it’d be so cool if you were green and from the moon,”

and one time she held hands with a girl who was like, a study buddy or something as they were walking down the hallway and her heart hurt because she wished it could be real, really real

lots more under the readmore!

when she is 12 her and jack meet anthony in detention, and through him, they also meet quentin

the four of them have lunch together every day and talk about advanced math and sciences, comparing notes and theories and arguing constantly

sometimes anthony does her nails

she really likes light solid colors like white, beige, pink

but one time he brings gold flecks to put on top of her pink

and he’s a little unsure about how she’ll react but she agrees

and is UTTERLY DELIGHTED with the final result

in 7th grade, tiny practical esther still doesn't understand most social interactions very well

she doesn't see the value in communication so spends no time learning how to do it

but toward the end of the year she starts to actually worry about this

their school is a middle and high school combined but

anthony has been complaining that all his friends are younger than him, that by high school he STILL won’t know anyone his age, that making friends is SO HARD

and so esther starts spending a lot of time interrogating her mom about how to initiate conversations and when you should ask someone about their day and what you do if someone doesn't like you

and her mom thinks it's great that she's finally expressing interest in people, for the love of god, so she gives her practice assignments to try to get to know the people around her better and get more friends

over summer she meets sally this way, by complimenting her star trek shirt and then dragging her to lunch with The Boys

of course, sally ends up becoming best friends with anthony, but her and esther are close too

anyway this is how esther becomes a CHARMER. teachers, when they aren't telling off her for talking to jack, LOVE HER. store clerks and waiters feel a little bit better about themselves after she leaves them (and internally she still has a script running because she needs it, but she gets better at improvising and she learns to smile a little bit more, because people like that)

it’s not that she’s being fake? because she genuinely does care, it’s just that she’s cracked the code of being like a Great People person

esther invited four non family members to her bat mitzvah:

jack, anthony, quentin, and sally.

they’re all super impressed with her confidence and jack actually cries a little

the party half of it isn’t so much of a party as it is a smorgasbord of incredible food

anita tells the kids they can just the tiniest sips of wine and they all get so excited about it she changes her mind

her freshman year there’s a GSA club and she’s rly scared but she signs up and asks jack if he’ll come with her to a meeting and he’s like, absolutely

and she passes him a note in the middle of it and it just says “i’m gay?????????” and he passes it back with “probably, also, same” and she nods and he smiles and for a while he’s the only one who knows

sophomore year she’s in science and math with sally bc she’s Smart for a little one

and they’re doing group work together and she’s texting instead of talking to sally

and sally’s like “are we gonna work now?” and esther’s like “yeah sorry, uh"

“i was in an argument with jack over who gets to marry hayley atwell"

and sally’s like, “is she, like, your woman crush wednesday whatever”

and esther’s like “oh no, i’m a giant lesbian”

makes a face, mumbles, “woman crush wednesday, god”

and sally’s just like, bubbly, happy, excited (but it takes her a minute to process)

“oh. OH! :D i hope you win the argument!!”

and esther grins wickedly and is like, “i will"

this eventually leads to a Bond they share over queer stuff, which leads to regular talks down at the garden shed, which eventually winds up at detention

but that’s another story

later in the year she tells june and helen, who are in orchestra with her, and theyre so sweet about it and it’s the only time (until, of course, Chuck E Cheese Night) that june smiles at her

she doesn’t say it to anyone unless it comes up, but she doesn’t say silent on her opinions in class discussions and she figures everyone’s figured it out by now

telling her mother, on the other hand, scares the SHIT out of her

like, she knows anita will be chill about it she knows this but it’s so so scary for some reason? like what if she’s wrong and what if her mom is disappointed or doesn’t believe her?

her and bridget start dating the summer between sophomore year and junior year

that summer, before they get together, they text constantly

and esther, like is absolutely flirting, she’s doing her best

she thinks very highly of bridget as an academic but the selfies bridget sends... oh god, the selfies are so breathtakingly beautiful

even the silly ones

like, wow

WOW

esther has never had a girlfriend, she doesn’t know how to flirt, but being smooth is like, in her dna

(jack makes fun of her all the time and tells her she’s being cheesy)

(but it appears to be working, so she tells him to fuck off)

eventually her efforts do pay off and bridget officially asks her out while they’re eating ice cream

their relationship is so healthy like, they talk about everything and they’re super honest with each other

and when they have miscommunications they talk about what they feel and try to say what they mean

her whole life esther has always been “the cute one”

it comes from being smol and from being the youngest in her family and bc, well, she is pretty cute

but bridget calls her beautiful one day and she nearly cries

because she’s never gotten to feel beautiful before

also, bridget’s the only one who calls her ettie and very quickly becomes the only one who’s allowed to call her ettie

esther loves her so much, she would do anything for bridget and anything to keep her

and she knows, she knows she needs to tell her mom soon, but one month passes and then three and then six and it’s hanukkah?

and her mom tells her she can invite as many people she wants on the third night, that they won’t have any cousins and it can just be esther’s friends

because of orchestra, and The Gay, and the poly chain and other couples, the gang has taken shape, and esther, for the first time, has more than four friends. she has eight now, eight people she loves and (mostly) get along with

trying to explain all of it to anita is a literal nightmare, but she can’t quite speak bridget’s name

“mom, again, you know jack, and his girlfriend penny, and then sally and her not-not? or is it not? boyfriend anthony and his girlfriend helen and her girlfriend june and her boyfriend quentin and-”

anita is patient and is really doing her best to understand the tangled relationship web but she does notice that esther said eight and only gave her seven names

“who’s the eighth person, esther?"

“aaaaaaaaaaa she’s uhhhh she’s ummmmmmmmmm aaaaaaa……..her name is bridget. she’s my age. she’s beautiful. she’s like. really good at english. she makes a mean apple pie. she’s a libra. she volunteers at the library. she’s like, an actual angel and she makes me smile every day and also she’s kind of my girlfriend?????????????”

anita: :O

“i’m so sorry i didnt say sooner, i just. i got scared. i really don’t want to lose her. and i didn’t know how you would react, if you knew and i didnt- i didnt… i didn’t want to lie but i didnt know what to SAY and i waited too long and i’m sorry and-”

god bless esther’s mother, because although she is absolutely freaking out internally, just says, “i cannot wait to meet her"

needless to say they all have a BLAST and esther’s mom really does her best to get all the pronouns and relationships right and she appreciates how captive of an audience she has when she tells stories esther’s heard hundreds of times

and bridget is so polite and she offers to help clean the kitchen after

and esthers mom keeps making faces at esther like “SHES A KEEPER” and esther is ready to Die of happiness and embarrassment

up until her junior year, homework was incredibly easy. all she had to do was hyperfocus and she could work on it all night. but the more work she got, the more overwhelming it was, the more pressure she put on herself, and the harder it got to do

her grades didn’t really drop but ?

it took her a lot longer to get her homework done

she got distracted more easily

and then get mad at herself for getting distracted

being diagnosed for adhd helped a lot

she’s not on meds (she’s thinking about it though) but knowing that this is something to manage and take care of is really helping her

she’s learning to be okay with that part of herself? jack doesn’t stim the same way she does but he helps her figure out what she likes

and eventually she’s even a little proud of her neurodivergence, the way she’s proud of her sexuality and proud to be jewish

i’m not gonna pretend i know the rules of dilemma. but esther does, anita does, jack does, and sally….? sort of does?

just like in canon, her and jack play all the time

she’s better than he is but only SLIGHTLY, he’s been playing just as long as she has

she just gets a little more practice

esther’s dedication to STEM is sort of a mix of a lot of things

she has a genuine natural interest in math and science

she likes that things make sense and that there are universal rules (this doesn’t mean she won’t try to break them, she just likes knowing that they’re there)

(it’s a bit like a finish line, except you get to keep going)

(esther takes statistics really early in her hs career and just, LOVES it. like if she didn’t want to save the world, she’d probably be a data analyst

testing things to discern their significance is 300% her jam

and she loves hand drawing graphs

she has enough graph paper in her backpack to fill up a large dictionary)

also designing projects is a really big strong suit of hers

she’s an incredible planner/diagrammer

which works SUPER well with jack’s buildy skills

she comes up with the shit, and he makes it

also her handwriting is incred so whenever they write up things with the scientific method she’s the one who has to do it

she doesn’t know what she wants to do in the field but she knows she LOVES it

overall she’s a pretty happy gay

she loves her friends and she loves her school and she loves her mom and she can put up with her cousins

she’s not afraid of the future, she’s ready for it.

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thoughtsicantshare · 7 years

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5/10/17

Although I just posted something, it was from a while ago. So, I have A TON, literally so much, to tell you.

Let’s start with the easiest: School. I still really love school. We ended May 3rd. History this semester kicked my ass big time, even though it was just a stupid gen. ed. But overall, I did really well. I got all As and my GPA is still a 3.98. Next semester I have some really interesting classes so I’m very excited for it. Still, I have no problem letting these next couple of summer months drag a bit. Work: I hate this place almost as much as I hate my high school-- and that is saying something big. We have next to know one bc everyone quit. We’re all doing WAY more than what our job titles entail and getting paid nothing. I’ve hit the point where idc anymore. I’m not going to continue scrambling and doing way more than my fair share bc no one cares, no one is even watching us, and I saw my pay check this week and it is nothing what is should be for how much work I’ve been doing.

I’m in the slow process of trying to find a new job, but it’s really hard. I love meeting people, and got really lucky with this job. The customer service is incredible at my store, and my customers as some of the sweetest people. However, retail just is not what I want to do now or ever. This is NOT my life and will never be my life.

Myself: In a recent post, I think I was really hard on myself and I think its was talking a lot about how I hated everything about me. I still am very unhappy with my weight. I let myself go really bad this time. I hate the way my clothes are fitting, I hate the way I look, and its all my fault. I have no self control- I eat what I want, when I want and don’t care. I finally started going to the gym again and it feels really good. I just need to keep a routine and actually start eating better. Boys: This is where shit hits the fan. I am more confused than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t remember where I left off with the kid I like, but wow lots has happened.

I’ll start where shit hit the fan. So, for a little while I was thinking I still had a chance w him maybe. My two girl friends also did too, and I promise not in the annoying they’re supportive and positive only because they’re my friends way, but in the there were signs that he did like me way. On a tuesday night, the night before my major history midterm, me and my friend Tyiana stayed in the library to study (This exam was horrible!! I studied for days, made a like 20 page study guide and wanted to cry all the time. That night, we had studied for HOURS. Towards the end of the night, the guy I liked had come to the library to tutor some girl in his class. I obviously was jealous. When he was finished tutoring, he came and sat with me, Tyiana and her bf. He convinced me to finally stop studying around 10. I was just gunna go home, but when he was driving me to my car, I mentioned I really wanted McDonalds and he said ok let’s go. When we were driving, he told me he had a gf. My heart broke. I had NO IDEA he was even talking to someone. It took so much of me not to cry when he told me, but I played it as cool as I could. After I thought about it for a while, I tried to stay positive. I figured this would be good for him. If he’s happy, then I want him to be happy. If she makes him happy, then he should be with her. I also figured it this way- he can finally mature. Although I like him, he can be pretty selfish. Maybe this relationship could help him mature- he could finally lean to put someone before himself, to care for someone else’s feelings and needs before his own, to learn to really think about and care for others. And this way, if we ever go together, we could both be on the same page. It is important to note that on this car ride he specifically said, “I think I have a gf. Oh my god I think I have a gf now, idk I’ve never been in a real relationship before” Of course, this may be me just over analyzing it, but he wasn’t even sure if they were a couple, but he seemed set that the prospect was high. ALSO, he absolutely refused to answer the question “do you have feelings for her?” I asked him multiple times that night, but he either said “I don't want to talk about it” or “ stop asking me” This is weird right?!!?

After learning this info, I knew I had to move on. There was no point in continuing my crush bc he was with someone else, not me. There was no chance of him liking me now. I’d like to say that I was actually getting over him. It was extremely hard, but I was somehow managing it. I was thinking about him CONSTANTLY. I always wanted to be with him, talk to him, or whatever. He was just always on my mind. Then I eventually stopped thinking about him as much--I’d be lying if I said completely. But really, I wasn’t always wanting to talk to him, I didn’t care as much if took a longer to answer my text, I wasn’t always wondering where he was or what he was doing (please know that I mean that in the least creepy was possible).

And Now this is where things get really fucked up. and confusing. and frustrating. and down right annoying.

Not long after telling me he had a gf, he became extremely flirty with me. At first, it was just little things, but then it became very straight forward. He would literally straight up talk about how he wants to have sex with me. And every time, I bring up his gf. I’ll describe a few of the times that really stuck out:

1. One day, I was leaving school a little later than usually and we bumped into each other. We started talking, but he had somewhere he wanted to go so I didn’t think we’d talk long. We ended up hanging out for a couple of hours. Major event of this hangout:

Early that day, I saw him before class and he stressed that I looked really good in my dress.

This was the first and only other time (besides the car ride) I heard him call the girl his gf. Still to this day, weeks later, he won’t call her that.

He again refused to answer the question “do you have feelings for her?”

He showed me a gift she got him. He had it buried under a bunch of stuff in the hidden compartment of his trunk. He commented on how he hated it and thought it was stupid

Two people had called us bf/gf this day. and she I tried to deny it, he pretended we were dating

He CONSTANTLY talked about us dating. A few times I told him we could never be because we had suck different tastes in music, movies, and a bunch of other stuff and he got upset. Finally, when we both agreed on 1 movie we liked he goes “So can we date now? We both like that 1 movie. That’s something we have in common”

I told him that if any guy from campus asked if I was single, he should say yes and tell the kid to take me on a picnic bc thats my dream date. He told me that he would tell them I wasn’t single bc I was dating him. He later randomly was like “what are you doing saturday” and I was like “idk I think I’m working all day” and in a sad voice he was like “oh man are you really working all day?” and I said “yeah I go in at 2 and stay till 10, why?” and he was like “ Oh I was gunna take you out on that picnic date you want to go on”

But yeah, the ENTIRE time he just kept talking about how he wanted us to be together, and how we should and would date. He also mentioned that at some point me and him would have sex. To which I brought up, just about every time, that his gf wouldn’t really approve of that. **side note: us having ex has always been a joke bt us. We’ve both kinda always joked that we would at some point have sex**

2. This story is funny-- So one day I was walking to class and bumped into him. He asked where I was going, and I said I had class in 10 mins. So the conversation went:

Him: “perfect come with me”

Me: “ugh where are we going”

Him: “to my car”

Me, in an extremely flirty way: “Oh, your car? What are you going to do to me in your car”

(side note, one of the big jokes we have bt us is that we’re gunna have sex in either mine or his car. It started with my old car bc it was huge and had lots of space in the back, so he always said he wanted to fuck me in it.)

Him with a big smile and a wink: “Oh okay Alisa, I like the way you think”

So the convo continued on to just a little about what we did that day and then:

Him “you know one day it’ll happen”

Me: “what will happen?”

Him: “us. I can picture it- one day were gunna be hanging out really late at night and will be a little drunk and were just gunna do it”

Me, laughing but intrigued: “no. nothing is going to happen”

Him: “what why not? I can picture it”

Me: “well for one, I don’t drink so you won’t get me drunk. two, we never hang out late at night so that also poses a problem”

Him: “no i can picture it, it’ll happen”

He ended up walking me to class, on the opposite side of the building he needed to go to and more banter went on. I joked that I’d skip class to have sex w him if he wanted to and he just smiled so big.

3. The phone call. We usually call each other when we want to see what the other is doing to hang out. So, I was in the store one night and he called me to hang out. He had just gotten off of work and was going to stop by and visit me at my job. He didn’t know that I actually had off that night. This phone call was filled with nothing but him being extremely blunt that he wanted so badly to have sex w me. Highlights from the call:

It was his first day of work at this new job. He had just gotten off and wanted to come see me at my job. Mind you, his gf lives close to his job. His gf could have sex w him then and there, but I would’ve been at work. I also wouldn’t have had sex w him bc of the whole gf situation. BUT he still chose to see me

I mentioned all that to him and he just shrugged it off and said he wanted to hang out with me.

I asked him to go to my house and wait bc I’ll be home in 10 mins. He was like oh but if I go to your house I’ll have to meet your parents and what if they don’t like me? I can’t handle that. I told him that he wouldn’t have to go in and meet them, he just had to wait for me outside, and that who cares what they think he isn’t my bf so they don’t have to approve of him. He then responded but I am your bf, we’re together. They have to like me

He repeatedly told me he wanted to have sex

He again described that he has been thinking about the night we’re going to have sex. Again, he said we’d be hanging out really late at night and we’d be a little drunk and we were just going to do it. He said it would be great and he was excited for it to happen

I told him that I was very intrigued that he again had been picturing us having sex

On multiple occasions, he mentioned that we were dating and that I was his gf. I played along only one time and called him my bf, and he was happy when I did

I also brought up his gf a lot. I asked how she’d feel if she heard our conversations and all that stuff. He told me if she ever said anything to me, he would drop her in a heart beat

he got offended that he had told me multiple times that he wanted to have sex with me, but I never said it back to him

he said very boldly, bluntly, and seriously: “Alisa. I. want. to. fuck. you.”

when I told him that I would have sex with him, he was SO happy and was like “ok this is great. I’m hanging up now bc I want this to end on a great note”

4. Hanging out with Julia. One day he came and hung out with me and Julia for a little while. I had been having a really bad week and just wanted to hang out w him and laugh. But he was also in a weird mood so he was’t being fun.

The day before this, a kid had asked me for my number. I knew it didn’t mean anything, we had been friends for a little while bc we had a class together last semester, but I wanted to make is seem bigger in front of the kid I like

So I was like: “Oh Julia listen to this, a kid asked me for my number... I hope it goes somewhere because I have nothing else going on for me”

Him: “woah, what about me. you have me going on.”

Me: “Actually, you have a gf, until she is out of the picture, we are nothing”

I didn’t think he’d talk about us being together or having sex in front of Julia bc he does’t do it in front of our guy friends, but he did. Later, this happened:

Him: “but wouldn’t you want to be with me?”

Me: “yeah, but like I said, you have a gf. I’m not getting w you while she’s in the picture. that’s wrong. If you really want me, break up w her and we’ll talk”

Him: “are you for real? if i break up with her, we can get together?”

Me: “yeah dude, I’ve told you that before”

Him: “ok I’m calling her now.”

And he actually went to call her to break up with her, but I stopped him. I wasn’t going to let him break up w his gf bc I told him that I’d have sex with him. If we were going to get together or be together, then it would have to be because he actually wants to be with me, not because I would have sex with him.

There’s SOOOOO much more, but it’s 1 AM and I have so much to do tomorrow so I have to try to fall asleep. I’ll write more tomorrow, because there is more annoying shit to talk about. These were only a few of the juicy stories! Peace and blessings for tonight! (:

#journal

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